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#I miss getting 500 comments on one chapter because someone decided to comment on every single paragraph
casiavium · 2 years
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Wattpad is so funny. I never check the comments and likes I get on old fanfics because I've mostly forgotten about them, but I still use the site because I like the way it organizes books and chapters and has a nice distraction-less screen to type on with no page breaks or margins or 1000 different settings. If I need a special character I copy paste from google. Anyway. Anywhere else, the comment "die" with no other context would be very rude to get. But this person was directly speaking to one of the characters. And they were absolutely right.
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mrstsugikuni · 9 months
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"His moonlight."
Summary:
(name) kibutsuji is the daughter of muzans kibutsuji and out of all his off spring she has proven herself worthy to him. Kokushibo always saw her as distraction since muzan has actually taken a liking to her and actually loved her, he was almost always busy spoiling her and giving her his attention. Kokushibo never understood why until he finally saw what he saw his heart taking it's first beat in 500 years.
This whole story will be in kokus pov. Unless said other wise in one of the chapters!
WARNING: The story itself WILL contain suggestive scenes, and/or sexual encounters. I will put a warning before the scene so you can skip if you're not comfortable. Anyways enjoy the story lovelies 🫶
Chapter 1.
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Muzans did it again. He brang his daughter to the meeting. Oh how I hate her with every non living gut in my body, I can't stand her unique eyes, her smile that's almost like the sun, and just everything about her! I'm so sick of her I wish muzans never even saw anything in her and she'd disappear!
I just don't understand, why is she so favored she hasn't been alive that long at all! Just 21 years, so why her from any of us! Why her and not me! She's just like yoriichi and I hate that! Why can't he see she's just like him! It isn't fair.
I bowed before my master, even if I did believe he was being foolish for this girl. But I'm being even more foolish or childish as some would say because of the way I'm acting about this. I mean it's just some girl, nothing more. I just don't understand why he's still keeping her so close like she's 5, she's an adult.
"kokushibo, please refrain yourself from staring at my daughter!" I heard my master, was I staring? I mean I knew I was zoning out from my jealous thoughts but I didn't think I was staring. "Yes, master sorry." I bowed my head to stare at the floor and not his disgusting daughter since I was apparently staring.
"I will be going somewhere for a while, Tomorrow I will decide who shall take care of her and I don't wanna hear any complaints if I choose one of you." Muzans said, and knowing my luck he might choose me since he trusts me more than any of them.
Suddenly I felt a pair of eyes on me, I looked up once more scanning the room for who might be staring and that's when I met her eyes, that brat.
Her face flushed red as she looked away and hid behind her father, I rolled eye's and looked back down not wanting to part take in her childish acts.
I simply wasn't interested.
The meeting was over and muzans had asked for us to get to know her while he went off to think by himself for a bit. It seemed as of tho she wasn't interested in what any of them were talking about but I would find her trying to look for someone probably me, luckily I was hiding.
Without even realizing it, I felt a presence behind me and I knew exactly who it was. "what do you want?" I asked trying to get this useless conversation over with. "Well, my father told me to get to know everyone so that includes you as well!" She gave me her signature smile and I couldn't help but grimace at such a face.
Disgusting. *perfect?* No.
Her eyes fluttered open like a princess under the night sky with moonlight shining on her perfectly shaped face.
Ugly. *Pretty..* No!
Her eyes capturing mine sealing them in as she continued to talk to me in her little sweet voice or what ever.
Obnoxious. *Funny!* NO!
These unwanted comments bubbling in my head piss me off. I hate her more than anything. There isn't a day where I don't think about smashing her head into a wall.
That's when I felt another presence and I snapped out of my thoughts. "Hello, (name)-chan! I missed not being able to talk to you!" Douma said in a voice coated with the sickening fake sweetness he puts on.
"Oh hello douma-san!" Her face lit up at seeing him as she patted the spot next to her.
*should be me...* NO!! SHUT UP!
He sat next to her scooting closer to her, he was almost on top of her it seemed and that's when I felt it.
Anger.
But why? I hate her, why do I feel this, if anything I should be happy cause now she isn't talking to me but I'm not. I want him to disappear and go away. He shouldn't even be near her.
Almost like he knew he was making me angry he put his arm around her and pulled her close. I got up and just walked away. I didn't wanna feel any of that, I didn't understand why I was in the first place. Nothing he was doing felt right but I hate her.
I hate her more than yoriichi.
I continued to walk around the infinity castle trying to figure out why I was feeling such an emotion when he was near her. But nothing I couldn't think straight.
"Kokushibo-dono~." Great the bastard followed me. "What do you need?" I asked him obviously showing signs I was annoyed with him. "I just wanted to make sure you were ok, you just got up and left." He said smirking.
"Nakime, teleport me to my home."
I was in the safety of my home, away from him, and away from her. "Maybe some meditation will help me calm my nerves and figure out why I was acting in such a way." I walked outside where the mist ran thick and no human dare go, the silence was overpowering, and the trees blew in the wind.
"What a lovely night." I sat in a patch of grass, and gazed at the moon before closing my eyes and taking in deep breaths.
My mind couldn't stop thinking about her.
Her smile, her eyes, her voice, and her lips.
I shouldn't be thinking of her in such a way, but something keeps pulling me closer to these thoughts.
When she was younger I never had these thoughts I hated her, wished she would die. But when she turned 18.. everything changed. I started getting weird thoughts, unwanted ones.
It was almost like it was her blood demon art.
Hallucinations? Mind control? Just messing with ones brain in general? I don't know and perhaps I never will.
But there isn't a day she isn't on my mind, and there isn't a day I'm not begging for her death. I need to figure all this out, I need to find out why I get such thoughts, maybe muzans knows but he doesn't have time for such a foolish question.
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mylittleredgirl · 3 years
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i was thinking this morning about how i categorize fanfic authors that i enjoy like AKC breeds and decided to share my rubric with you:
the specialist: this author has a favorite kink or trope and has written 80% of the content in that tag. you know exactly what you’re getting. they have A Brand™️. no matter what other traits they display, dedicated rare pair authors belong here.
the chocolate box: essentially the exact opposite. this author will try anything once. they have 80+ works in the fandom with no discernible pattern. the shortest one is 268 words and the longest is well over 100k. this breed of author may or may not be related to:
the renaissance fan: they’ve written three things in your fandom: your favorite fic, your notp, and a bizarre crossover with a show you’ve never heard of. you hit “expand fandoms list” on their author page and have to scroll down twice to reach the bottom. whenever you curse the fact that you can’t legally commission fic writers, this is the author you’re thinking about.
the horn dog: they’re here for one thing and one thing only. if someone’s dick is not in another character’s mouth within 500 words, they apologize for it in the author’s notes. they have one (1) g-rated fic.
the rookie: this writer is usually young, new to fandom, or just got a beta-reader for the first time. their fics are a little all over the place, quality-wise, but you’re excited whenever their name pops up because their unique voice gets stronger every time. you feel a personal investment in their development, like you’re an old man reading the local high school sports page and saying “this kid’s the one to watch.”
the live streamer: the most prolific author in the fandom. their works are all over the front page when you sort by kudos. you have no idea how they generate this much work, and have seriously wondered if they have access to an extra-dimensional time portal. their stories are usually un-beta’d and the characterization varies wildly, but their best works are inspired and you’ve read them 30 times.
the cryptid: this one comes out of nowhere every two years, drops the best fanfic you’ve ever read, and disappears. fifteen months after you left a three paragraph comment about how they changed your life, you get a message in your inbox that just says “thanks.”
the novelist: we talk about “filing off the serial numbers” when someone reworks their most popular story to pitch it as an original novel; this author somehow does the reverse. their fics are excellent, usually long-reaching multi-chapter AUs that have almost nothing to do with the on-screen characters except their names. i’d like to extend my personal thanks to this breed of author because it’s the closest i get to reading an actual book.
the reunion tour: this author wrote some of the most popular works in the fandom, but either moved on to k-pop or burned out when canon took a turn for the worse. they put out one new thing a year, often an old draft that’s been haunting them from under the floorboards. their last six author’s notes all say they never thought they’d write this pairing again and “this will probably be the last time.”
who did i miss?
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The Star Plasma Vessel:
When I first read Gojo’s past arc, Riko Amanai and the whole dynamic created between all of the characters and how fast a strong bond can grow, really interested me.
⚠️Spoiler warning ofc ⚠️
But... I was so confused over the Star Plasma Vessel. I was so confused and thought I missed something because I didn’t even know who Master Tengen was. And the site I was reading the manga didn’t have chapter 72, but after re reading it... the Star Plasma Vessel and Master Tengen are... still suspicious as hell.
So Let’s talk about it!
Who is Master Tengen?
In the Nara Period (710-794) Tengen spread Japanese Buddhism and ‘preached what would become the foundation for Jujutsu sorcerers(JJK.wiki)’. They were first mentioned in chapter 53 by fake Geto. 
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At this point, the only information about Master Tengen was that of their jujutsu. Jogo asks Fake Geto who’s stronger; Tengen or Gojo? Fake Geto simply states that “it’s immortality not anti-aging” and that Master Tengen doesn’t interfere unless it involves the barrier. He also makes this comparison with a tree? However, I’m not sure if the tree metaphor is comparing Tengen and Gojo or describing/comparing Tengen’s technique. 
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During Gojo’s Past Arc, we find out more about the specifics of their jujutsu and how powerful and important they are. Tengen’s jujutsu is immortality but it doesn’t stop the aging process. The cursed technique tries to switch bodies roughly every 500 years. If Tengen doesn’t get a vessel, then they will ‘evolve’ or ascend to a higher state where they have no will. If in this higher state, they could become a threat to humanity. If they do get a vessel, then they rewrite the body’s genetic information. 
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On top of all that, Master Tengen’s ability strengthens the barriers that protect the jujutsu world and keep the amount of curses limited to Japan. The Jujutsu world wouldn’t be working the way it has for so long if not for these barriers. It isn’t specified whatsoever what Tengen would do that would make them a threat to humanity, but my guess is that it would have something to do with allowing curses to run free and unrestricted. 
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In the reccent chapters, Fake!Geto used a remote activation technique that Yuki orginially mistakes as an attack on the barrier. He’s disrupting the balance that’s for sure, but I believe that  he could have broken the barrier. He had the option and probably the power, but he didn’t. This implies that Tengen is a force that even our antagonists fear or don’t wish to get involve. They said that they were  stabilized even after Riko Amanai died, but... considering Ep. 18 where Principal Yaga goes ‘I’m going to see Tengen” after the Curses break onto school grounds implies that maybe he is weaker. Gojo even talks about how in the end, Tengen’s barrier hides rather than protects and that it’s weak once infiltrated, which raises a lot of questions. And maybe Tengen plays a part in this whole scheme because of  the talk of how much chaos the world would be thrown into had the barrier been broken by Yuki and Fake!Geto’s questionable response. 
Who is Riko Amanai?
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Riko Amanai was the Star Plasma Vessel in 2006. It is implied that she was pretty wealthy, and when she was younger, her parent’s died in a car crash, but she survived. Between the years of her parents’ death and her death, she was cared for by Misato Kuroi, a non combatant  jujutsu sorcerer who can fight curses, well educated in the curse world, but might not be able to use cursed energy/techniques. It is unknown with who Misato is affiliated with and if Amanai became aware of her status as the Star Plasma Vessel at an early age. 
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 When first introduced, she is very willing and seemingly okay with the merger. When Gojo expresses his surprise over Amanai’s reaction to her attempted assassination attempt and the whole concept of the merger, she simply proclaims “Master Tengen is me and I am Master Tengen!”. She then goes on a rant about how the merger and death are different things and how after the Merger, her will and spirit will live on. However, this statement was contradicted earlier, when Yaga describes the Merger as an ‘eraser’. Later, Geto even talks about how after the Merger, Amanai will just be forced to be beneath the school and has to get rid of all mortal connections. It just happens to be that, she has no relations besides Kuroi... suspicious.... 
  Riko is spunky and fiesty. During her rant, Gojo and Geto comment on how she probably has no friends based on how she talks. She is clumsy, and honestly just... funny. I keep on hoping someone in the main timeline says something similar to the “Liar, you look a liar... and whats with those bangs” line  in reference to Fake!Geto. Getting back at hand, Riko is also brave. When Kuroi gets kidnapped, she insists on coming with Geto and Gojo despite having no fighting or curse capability. When nervous or in an emotional confrontation, she has a habit of scrunching up part of her skirt in her fists. 
 Despite putting up an image of content with the Merger, Riko is a normal teenage girl. Moments before her death, Riko’s inner monologue focuses on how she was always told she was ‘special’ and ‘different’, and how despite everything that happened, she always survived. Now, being told that you are special and different at a young age is something that affects people heavily. Weather  it is being told that you are a ‘gifted’ kid or that you are just ‘different’ can lead to a lot of self separation from others. One might see themselves as better than others because of these skills or believe that someone else like them can’t exist and struggle when meeting someone similar or in a similar situation. Before her appearance in the story, it is implied that she had good relationships with her friends, classmates, and Kuroi, but didn’t really value them as much as she should due to this idea of being special or having a destiny. (Damn, a Gojo parallel maybe hmm)  This led her to be really lonely and she believed that she would be okay with the merger because she thought that the loneliness and sadness would disappear. In the last three days of her life, Riko got to spend time with her friends at schools  (the last she saw of them was them teasing her for her ‘hot cousin’ Gojo), spending time with Kuroi, and developing a strong bond with Gojo and Geto. She realizes that the sadness and loneliness could and would leave as long as she had strong bonds with others. 
“I want to be with everyone more! I want to go to more places, see more things with everyone... More!!” 
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  After Riko comes to terms with what she really wants, she dies at the hands of Toji Fushiguro/Zenin. Her death sets an entire series of misfortunes and rifts between the Strongest Duo and she serves her part as... well the plot tool she  doubles as. 
A Choice:
 Before her death, Riko is given a choice. Geto gives her instructions on where to go for the merger, before saying “Or you can turn back and return home with Kuroi.”. He gives her a choice. A choice to go through with the merger and ensure stability despite no one truly knowing what is happening, or a choice to live a life of her choice. We find out that Yaga gave hints that there is something wrong with the Merger due to the way that he described  it as an ‘erasure’ and how he isn’t one to ‘beat around the bush’. 
 We find out that Gojo and Geto decided beforehand that if the Vessel wasn’t willing to go through with the merger, they wouldn’t do it and that they, the strongest duo, would fight Master Tengen. Gojo and Geto were the strongest and Geto says that no matter what she chooses, they will protect her future. 
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 Riko decides to go home, wherever that may be, instead of the merger, but of course, dies. 
 As established before, this whole concept is suspicious. Yaga knew there was something wrong with this. Gojo and Geto both knew there was something wrong with this.
 In chapter 138, Yuki goes “it’s about time I confront Tengen.” This opens a box with even more questions. What does she mean by this? Why is it ‘about time’ and how casual is it for sorcerers to talk to Tengen? As mentioned before, Yaga is apparently in communication with Tengen when he needs to be. And Yuki is the one who told Geto that Tengen was stabilized after the failed merger and that the vessel was probably reborn...
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Conclusion: 
 I honestly hope more than predict that we get to meet Riko Amanai reborn or the next SPV.  Tengen is a name that is getting thrown around recently so there is no way that he is just.. not going to be relevant in the coming chapters. 
  I know a lot of people have found comparisons to Buddhism and the Jujutsu world, and I am not that well educated in this area, I do know that rebirth plays a big role in it. Rebirth is viewed as a negative cycle one should want to escape from called “Samsara”. I personally headcanon/theorize that the Star Plasma Vessel and the soul of Riko Amanai, is one that gets reborn constantly and is stuck in a cycle where they experience a lonely and sad  life before getting a taste of a full and happy one right before the merger. In terms of the 500 year thing, the Star Plasma vessel would have first been born( created?) during sometime in the in between of the Heian Period (794-1184) and the Muromachi Period (1392-1573). The Heian Period is implied to be the Golden Age of Curses and when Sukuna was in full power despite being known in history as a peaceful time for Japan, so I definitely believe that there is some connection if my math is correct (which it probably isn’t. I hate math). 
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Right now in the story, vessels... are really important. According to Fake Geto, he released what is like a thousand Itadori Yujis, so I think that bringing back the star Plasma vessel would fit really well. However, they would roughly be around 12 years of age in 2018, meaning that they might not even be able to do the merger because I think the vessel has to be sixteen and older and have a full moon.
(Edit: added 4/1/21: Also, it might not be Riko reborn, but just another Star Plasma Vessel. Like Yuki says that either they had another vessel at hand, or another one was already born. So like... the new SPV might be the age of our main characters or possibly even one of the characters we already know!)
I also think it will be really interesting to see how it would play off with the fact that Gojo/Geto are no longer involved in the story. Gojo is sealed and the real Geto is dead. When thinking about how the SPV would be in the story, I imagined a picture of a younger girl in a uniform and with a braid holding the sealed Gojo and staring up at the fake Geto. I’m not over what happened to Riko Amanai if you haven’t noticed and I feel like she deserves to have this other chance. I also think it’ll set up the eventual meeting or confrontaion with Master Tengen which I’m personally dying to see.
So what do you think? I don’t really have any solid predictions other than that the SPV reborn will make an appearance, but what about you? Do you guys think Tengen will play a big part? Do you think Tengen may end up becoming a big threat or a good ally? Do you guys want to see Itadori and the SPV interact? Or am I just over analyzing this?
Thanks for reading!
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agapantoblu · 3 years
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In light of the recent Asshole Move of deliberately clogging AO3 pages with fics with thousands of tags, in reply to one fic non-maliciously posted with a thousand tags, as some sort of Strike Against AO3′s Tagging Policy, which does nothing but prove that a bunch of people don’t know how to use AO3′s tools, I took a nice trip down Memory Lane and went back to the website where I first discovered fanfic, at the ripe age of 11.
Welcome to the Italian fanfiction website, EFP. Buckle up, fandom elders. This is gonna send you places.
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First of all, look at that logo, with the little man reading. The graphic of this website was updated for spring one year and never again.
Might I underline one aspect, the site hosts a bunch of original works as well, to the point that Fanfiction has 12 categories (such as Movies, Comics, Animes, etc) whereas Original Stories has 20 (Thriller, Romance, Action, Adventure, and such). I don’t know what the point is, it was just very cool back when I was posting my edgy “Trilogy of Love and Violence” and told people at school that I was publishing stuff online.
I could spend a lifetime talking about the reader features on EFP. Because I want to focus on the Writer point of view, I will only tell you about
- the Comments Program,
in which you gained points for every comment you left (one point per comment, with bonus points if it was longer than 100 words, if it was the first comment to the story, if you commented on every chapter of a long fic, and so on). Every category of fanfiction (example, Original Romance or Twilight) had its own Top 20 Commenters of the section and you, the writer, felt like a God if they graced your story with their presence. They were the self-appointed Critics of their little niche of fandom. Their words could be your making or your undoing as, from the top of their pedestals, each one of them could sponsor a story: you’d see the ranking and under the name of the commenter you found a fic they chose to advertise to you as their very own candidate as Best of The Fandom; but also you could see every Top 20′s latest 5 comments and if your story had gotten a bad review from one of them?, for a little while, you were on the wall of Shame for everyone to see. I used to have nightmares about those bad reviews, alright?! Why did I think this was a good idea. I’m getting flashbacks from the trenches.
Oh, yes, because I didn’t mention: this website asked you to indicate with a tiny little flag whether your review was positive (green), neutral (white) or negative (red). Basically Like/Dislike on YouTube. You get more than 5 negative reviews you might as well take your work down and hang up you pen. You’re done. Over. Your career crashed and burned before even beginning. I took down stories for having 3 neutral comments. You don’t understand the pain I was going through.
I was Top 20 Commenters in a niche fandom of a book thrilogy. Today, 22/02/2021 I went to check and I’m still there. I’m ranked Third. The rush of power I felt is impossible to describe. I realise I used to be one of those people who got into Top 20 and then sponsored their own fic. 14 yo me was a ruthless businesswoman in New York who hated Christmas, before the Hallmark moment.
When it came to posting stories, though, EFP had the kind of economy the latest AO3 scandal people seem to want, so I’m here to tell you all, specifically:
You Don’t Want It.
Let’s take a closer look.
But first notice. If you hit the “Post New Work” button, this is what meets you at the gates of Hell.
- The list of forbidden content. I kid you not, there’s an whole ass list of things you cannot post, such as “dissertations, polls,” or “texts with too many grammar mistakes”. One entry just says “Illegal content”. What does that mean? What does that MEAN, EFP?!
Another one is this:
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“Fanfiction of the works of following authors [...] as they have indeed explicitly fobidden fanfiction of their works.” ANNE RICE IS RIGHT THERE, KIDDOS. It’s still there, at the time I chose to spend my quarantine day typing this.
The list is followed by the disclaimer: “By the act of posting, you are assuming all eventual legal responsibility, in particular in cases of violations of the law.”
PEOPLE ASKING ME “why is FF.net packed full of works with -I don’t own the characters! PLeAse Don’t sue ME-?” SEND ME STRAIGHT BACK TO THE FIRST TIME I READ THOSE WORDS AND PANICKED AND CLOSED OUT OF THE TAB WITHOUT POSTING BECAUSE WHAT IF I BROKE THE LAW AND THE POLICE SHOWED UP TO MY HOUSE?! It was an original story, that I wanted to post. It took me three days and showing my story to my dad asking him if he thought it’d count as illegal before I decided to post it.
If you had the galls, the guts, the strength of character required to hit “Yes, I agree and therefore take responsibility and therefore will go to jail and bring shame to my family and my cow if the police breaks into my home”, you got to the second part.
- You must fullfill 3 pages of required info before getting to the HTML page for the story itself. Aside from assigning fandom, you were to specify if your story was a crossover (if yes, with what) and if it was one chaptered. There, you had two different paths ahead of you:
if no, what’s the title of your first chapter?;
if yes, is it an 90-110 words Drabble, a 110-500 words Flash Fic or is it a >500 words One Shot? COUNT, YOU MISERABLE LITTLE CRYBABY, AND IF IT’S 110 WORDS EXACTLY YOU BETTER ADD ONE OR SHAVE ONE OFF BECAUSE SOMEONE IS GOING TO COME FOR YOUR THROAT OTHERWISE.
Writing in my teen days was a very stressful affair, I won’t lie.
You had a little mirror for your summary. 200 words, not one more, not one less, figure it out, little shit. And just so you know, there are 246 words (4 paragraphs) of rules about what you can or cannot write in your introduction: you cannot only write “Read and Find Out”, you cannot only write “Inspired by Song”, you cannot spoil important plot points of the story, you cannot use cuss words, you cannot use SMS shortenings, you can only use bold or italicised text to signal edits or victories in contests or spoilers. I thought spoilers were forbidden? I don’t know, I was too busy crying and re-reading my 50 words summaries ten times to bother with logistics.
- The Rating of fanfictions on EFP was in 4 categories marked with Traffic Lights Color System, like a basic BDSM etiquette. Green for General Audiences, the two middle grounds of Yellow for stories which dealt lightly with violent or sexual content and Orange for stories which openly treat violent or sexual content but not with graphic descriptions, which would place your story directly under the Red label for adults-only content. Speaking of red, be aware that Porn is forbidden but you can tag your story as PWP, I Don’t Know And At This Point I’m Too Afraid To Ask. One feature of EFP is, you have to indicate your age with your year of birth when you sign in, and if you don’t or if you’re underage you cannot access the Red Labelled Works. This way, if you’re a minor who lied about their age to get into a Red story, you got banned.
I have a word doc, last date of opening 2011, titled FICS FOR WHEN I’M EIGHTEEN in which I put all the Red Labelled fics I stumbled into with a promising summary back when I was still underage. I completely forgot about it and never got around to read those fics. I’m so amased by the Galaxy Brain of Teen Me.
- The Genre of your story was a required choice you had to make from pre-approved options. MAX 3. Is it a thriller, romace fantasy? Good, you still fit in. Is it a thriller, romance fantasy which is also Sad or Dark or Comedic or Demential (because that’s an option, what does that mean?!)? Well, my dear, one of them has to go because you’re All Out Of Genres. Fuck you and your grandma.
- The Pairing with a MAX of 3 options, it gave you the lovely choice between: Het (straight), Yaoi or Shonen-Ai (for homosexual relationships between FICTIONAL male characters, and depending on whether the work was respectively more or less explicit on the Homo part), Yuri or Shoujo-Ai (again, FICTIONAL but lesbians this time), Slash or FemSlash (for homosexual relationships between REAL LIFE people, which still squicks me out today but eh). Honorable mention to the last option: Crack Pairing because for some reason you should warn me that the pairing is Crack more than the gender of the people involved. Somewhat very progressive, in a way.
- AND HERE WE ARE, THE WARNING TAGS which are the basic reason as to why I chose to revive all my childhood insecurity traumas about the first time I posted under threat of public execution on the EFP interactive Forum. You have 2 different menus in which to choose 3 voices MAX for each:
- the first, Notes on the Story: you can pick between AU = Alternate Universe, Cross-over with the hyphen, Missing Moments which would be fill-in where the plot glossed over, Movieverse in case you were writing for a fandom that had a movie adaptation of the original work with slight differences from the original Canon (there’s some sadism in this), OOC = Out of Character, Otherverse which I never quite understood but apparently is to be used if there are several different adaptations of the original thing (I would suspect, Batman, which has comics and movies and animated versions would demand this warning. HOW you decide which is OTHER compared to WHAT, you cannot know), Collection, Translation, What if? (which pisses me off because EVERY FANFIC IS A WHAT IF, WHAT DOES THIS EVEN DO?!, WHAT AM I EVEN WARNING YOU FOR?!).
Lastly but possibly MOST IMPORTANTLY, in the Year of Someone’s Lord 2021, EFP still offers you the shiver of adrenaline that comes from tagging your work as either LEMON (story containing sexual intercourses) or LIME (story containing sexual elements which do not end up in the main intercourse). There’s so much potential lesbophobia in these definitions, but I’m going to skip over it and go straight to, MY, MY, THE CITRUS SCALE IS STILL A THING. I never thought I’d get to see it again.
- the second, Warning Tags, YES, STILL ONLY A MAX OF 3. This is the whole point of this entire madness post. This is why I am here. THIS. You only get 3 warnings, no more. If your dark fic is basically a “Dead Dove: Don’t Eat” “Hydra Trash Party“ SUCKS TO BE YOUR READERS FANBASE BECAUSE FUCK THEM. It was, of course, common decency to hide all the warnings that you couldn’t fit in the official thing in your summary, because we weren’t downright animals back then, but EFP cared None about the rest.
THERE ARE ONLY 13 OPTIONS FROM WHICH TO PICK. IF YOUR STORY CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND NON-CON AND DELICATE TOPICS AND MPREG? GUESS YOUR READERS ARE ABOUT TO GET A SURPRISE IF YOU DON’T DECIDE TO WRITE IT AT THE TOP OF YOUR FIC IN BIG BOLD LETTERS AND HOPE THAT SOMEONE TAKES THE TIME TO READ YOUR AUTHOR’S NOTES. IF YOUR FIC CONTAINS KINKY STUFF, YOU LITERALLY CANNOT WARN YOUR READERS UNLESS THEY OPEN YOUR STORY AND YOU PUT IT AT THE TOP OF THE TEXT, FUCK EVERYONE ON THIS WEBSITE.
This is, humor aside, the reason as to why policing people’s tags is dumb. If no one had started adding to the problem, there would only be one fic that people could easily blacklist and never have to see again. That was it. A small tidbit of maturity could have saved us all the bother, but here we are.
I prefer a fic with ten thousand tags than a fic with too little tags which accidentally squicks or even triggers someone. Get your priorities in order, people, I’m serious as fuck now.
- If you got here, then congrats, you’re posting your fic on EFP, but let’s be honest: At What Cost?
TL;DR: Stop being Assholes with AO3. You don’t even know how easy you have it.
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llilychen · 3 years
Text
thoughts of chain of iron
my favorite scenes in the book were jordelia’s wedding and the townsend’s party (chapter five and six were so fun to read)
i really liked the beginning the book but i found the middle to be boring, the book picks up speed towards the end.
when i finished chog i hadn’t made up my mind about grace yet but now that i am done with coi i have decided that i don’t care too much about her? i’ve seen people say that they adore her and i don’t understand that sentiment. i could see why people would find her an interesting character though
there were too many descriptions in this book, the weather was mentioned almost every single page and it got old pretty quickly
i feel like nothing happened for the majority of the book? i dont like fight scenes that much but throughout the book there weren’t almost any? i was 400 pages into the book and so far there had only been one very boring fight scene against that demon that was in the factory
why was filomena hyped up so much? i swear cc made such a big deal about filomena and she didn’t even want to reveal her name and i thought she was going to be an important character, but she only was there for like 1.5 scenes and it was so disappointing
alastair was my favorite character in this book, i think that he grew a lot and i loved that he was held accountable for everything he did and i think that is what makes him an enjoyable character (when characters do dumb stuff and don’t face the consequences it is boring)
reading cordelia’s pov was so funny (and frustrating) because it was obvious that james was in love with her and she still made the most far fetched unreasonable excuses to convince herself otherwise
i am really sad that there wasn’t more thomastair in this book and i think it was very noble of alastair to not want thomas to have to choose between his friends and him, i am pretty sure that they will probably be together in by the end of cot unless something horrible happens, which i hope is not the case
i was really disappointing with matthew’s character. that scene in which he showed up to cordelia’s house, spied on alastair and cordelia after their dad died, insulted alastair in front of cordelia, and then just started talking about his own problems rubbed on me the wrong way and i hate how his alcoholism is being handled, but im also glad that he called james out on his bullshit? it obviously wasn’t james’ fault but it was nice to see him stand up for cordelia
i hated the love triangle, when i finished chog i didn’t really care who cordelia ended up with, and now that im done with coi i still don’t care too much about who she ends up with but i think that her ending up with james would make more sense and that is probably what will happen which means that the love triangle was a complete waste of time
i really wish that cordelia and matthew’s relationship had remained completely platonic especially because i don’t think cc has ever put focus on a relationship between a man and a woman that isn’t strictly romantic and it would have been nice to show that men and women can be only friends (and by this i mean that there was never any romantic drama between them, so clary and simon don’t count)
anna and ariadne will probably end up together despite the fact that ariadne deserves so much better than anna
anna’s behavior in this book was immature and it got old pretty quickly, the way ariadne was treated throughout the entirety of their relationship was horrible, and i don’t understand if we were meant to root for them? also the way anna treated ariadne reminded me of some of the things anna said in chog and i just want to say that calling the women you have slept with your conquests and writing their names in a list is gross, and disrespectful towards women. coi made me dislike anna unfortunately
matthew insulting alastair every time cordelia was around got old and rubbed one me the wrong way because matthew is supposedly in love with cordelia and he knows that cordelia adores alastair and the least he could is just shut up?? about alastair?? just for cordelia’s sake
i think effie was the best part of the book
i thought that jesse’s resurrection would be take up more page time because i’m pretty sure that cc hinted that jesse would play a larger role in coi than in chog (and in a way she wasn’t lying)
i think that lucie’s marks will probably be stripped or she will become an iron sister (i don’t see why cc would have included that iron sister comment if it won’t be relevant later)
im really disappointed with lucie and cordelia’s friendship, the barely talked, the had like two scenes together in a 650 page book, they just seem like people who sometimes talk to each other, their friendship is so dry
matthew telling alastair that if he didn’t talk to charles it meant that he was a bad person was manipulative and cruel. alastair, unlike matthew, is trying to become a better person and literally everybody saw it except him. i can’t believe cordelia didn’t say anything to him
the whole misunderstanding thing between james and cordelia is so dumb and i KNOW that it will take like 400/500 pages of cot for them to get together and it will be so annoying
that scene in which james confronted grace was very satisfying
cc needs to quit it with the incest, it’s disgusting and unnecessary, it looks like it will not actually go to that in cot (thank god) and therefore she just put it there because she’s gross
i KNEW jesse would come back to life by the end of the book and im so glad i was right because i am tired necromancy and we don’t have to spend another book talking about it!!
i dont know if this is an unpopular opinion but i hope lucie’s character takes a dark turn? i think she has so much potential and i think that maybe she was starting to become a darker character in coi but i couldn’t really tell because she didn’t have that much page time
i really want more christopher scenes, i know that he’s not exactly a main character but he was barely in the book and that made me sad :/
matthew saying that he would not drink in paris so that cordelia would come with him rubbed on me the wrong way because that’s not how it works, and i hope that cc doesn’t portray alcoholism as something that goes away because you’re in love with someone
i knew jesse and lucie would run away at some point, i just thought that it would be by the end of cot (pretty sure they will be found and then there will be trouble and maybe they’ll escape again or there will be more trouble)
my favorite scene in the entire book was when effie found james tied to the bed and requested a raise
when cordelia comes back there is going to be so much guilt because of lucie being missing and i am not here for it
3/5 stars
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Text
20 Questions for Writers
Thank you @cheesyficwriter for the tag!
How many works do you have on AO3?
27
What's your total AO3 word count?
351,699
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
As of now, I have only written for Harry Potter; however, in February I began several LOTR/Hobbit WIPs that I have not yet published. The first one is due out at the start of September though!
What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
In Another Universe: Hermione Granger is brilliant: she completed her PhD in Linguistics at 25, and is the youngest faculty member at the University. Ron Weasley, an unruly quantum physicist... well, he's getting there. But when Granger gets stacked with a project she hates and has to talk to other scholars at the University, their paths cross and become permanently intertwined in a way neither of them could've ever anticipated. (Slow Burn Multichap Muggle Uni AU) Rated T.
Rosebury Grounds: Lady Hermione Granger has been reared up in society, to marry well and be a good housewife, like any good Edwardian lady, but that's far from what she wants. When a handyman by the name of Ronald Weasley joins the house staff, utterly disarming her from the moment they first meet, he might just be the opportunity she needs to break loose and choose her own destiny.Lord Draco Malfoy has a secret— a secret he knows would cost him everything if it ever saw the light. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it from his father, because Draco keeps bumping into a pair of emerald eyes and a head of lush black hair, and he can't pretend his knees don't buckle at the sight. Which would be quite alright, if not for one small problem: it's not a woman they belong to.Two tales of forbidden love, set in Edwardian England. (Multichap Muggle AU) Rated M.
Something Growing: Hermione’s pregnant— and she’s freaking out. She’s always been good at everything, but she’s not sure that’ll hold for being a mother; however, when Ron gets home earlier than expected, she realizes she doesn’t need to be great at everything so long as she’s got him beside her. (Oneshot) Rated G.
Big in Japan: Harry Potter is a famous rockstar out on a world tour— but when one too many meet-and-greets threatens to drive him insane, he takes an escapade out into the streets of Tokyo, where he ends up at an expat bar with a captivating redhead that seems totally unaware of who he is, or why she should know him at all, for that matter. (Muggle AU oneshot) Rated E.
Teaspoon Vindication: After escaping Malfoy Manor, Ron comes to visit Hermione in her room at Shell Cottage, and does the one thing that may be the hardest for him— talking about his feelings. (Romione oneshot)
Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I try my best, though I don’t always get to all of them! My reasoning is that if folks are kind enough to tell me how much they enjoyed my writing, the least I can do is thank them for their lovely words. 
What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?
The Last Farewell! It’s a Wolfstar oneshot, set in canon universe, where Remus comes to Sirius’s grave to ask for his blessing (and forgiveness) to marry Tonks. It was angst central from the start and I even wrote it while listening to an angsty song.
What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?
I generally write happy, fade-to-black endings, but if I had to choose I’d say Truth or Dare. This is a male!Hermione x Ron summer camp AU born of a game of spin-the-bottle/truth-or-dare that ends with them figuring out their feelings go beyond friendship. I say it is the happiest ending because I think the “boy figuring out he likes boys” scenario has been overdone in angst a bit too much, and the fact that the feelings are reciprocated and they decide to stay in touch would make me giddy if I was their age and in their shoes. Anyway, it’s just a sweet ending.
Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you've written?
Not at all— I actually don’t like crossovers at all, so I have never even entertained reading, let alone writing, one. (No hate at all to those with imaginations large and strong enough to conjure up awesome crossovers— I am in awe of you all, they’re just not for me!)
Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Never, luckily, since the Romione community is so lovely and supportive! But, though not outright hate, for a while I had an anonymous FFN reviewer who left reviews on every chapter of Rosebury Grounds saying that my title was a porn/sex act...? I was distraught and scoured Google to see if they really were right and this was some obscure euphemism I’d entirely missed, but turns out it wasn’t, and they had gotten confused with a vulgar but similar term. So I ignored those reviews but they kept coming and then eventually one time I found a 500 word very graphic description of the sex act in question in my reviews, so desperate was the reviewer (apparently) to get their (wrong) point across. Yikes. 
Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes! I’ve written a lot and of many kinds— explicit, implied, just foreplay, fade-to-black, referenced... I’ve written both M/F and M/M. 
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
No— I didn’t even know that was something I should worry about!
Have you ever had a fic translated?
No, but I speak fluent Spanish, so I’m planning on translating In Another Universe and Rosebury Grounds myself once I’ve finished the latter. 
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, the most I’ve done is beta from the plot-building stage!
What's your all-time favorite ship?
Gahhhh don’t make me pick! Romione (HP) is first in my heart because I see so much of myself and what I want in it, but Samfro (LOTR) is, to me, the truest depiction of love in all of literature, ever. I will forever come back to it.
What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?
I hope to finish my Hogwarts Actually series that I started for Romionecom (hi, Discord friends!) inspired by Love Actually. I have it all planned out, translating all the relationships in the movie to HP pairings and friendships, and all I need to do is write— but I think I’ll come back to this periodically and unoften. Hopefully I’ll finish it!
What are your writing strengths?
I like to think that I write good and witty dialogue. I’m a theatre person, so I think my dialogue sounds mostly natural when spoken. I also have a good sense of beginning and ending, so most of my works/chapters start and end with a memorable phrase of some sort. I also have excellent grammar and spelling, so except for a few occasional typos, that makes the job of proofing much easier!
What are your writing weaknesses?
I think I sometimes write sentences that are waaaay too long and convoluted. I use words that are too big sometimes and just take approachability from my writing. Fanfic has been excellent to practice correcting this, though!
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
As a bilingual writer myself— don’t write dialogue in other languages unless you speak it well or get it translated directly through someone who speaks it well. Though I appreciate the effort, I can always tell when something was put through Google Translate, and that kind of dialogue most often ends up lacking the context clues/colloquial familiarity of real language speakers, and ends up sounding stiff and forced. 
What was the first fandom you wrote for?
I’m not proud of it, but I used to write MCR RPF back when I was 13 or so. It was a very brief stint and I have since deleted the works in their entirety, since my principles have evolved to the place where RPF to me seems disrespectful and invasive. Plus, it was on Wattpad.
What's your favorite fic you've written?
Again, don’t make me pick please!! I truly have had a lot of fun with Rosebury and I think it is a testament to how much I love it that I was able to keep the idea on hold for a full six months before I started writing it. I love the Downton setting and the Edwardian dialogue is a lot of fun to me. But I also have a soft spot for the In Another Universe original oneshot I submitted to the RFF2020— that work awoke my love for Muggle AUs (which I like to think I’m most known for), inspired me to start work on my first multichap fic, and keeps me coming back to it anytime I have doubt in my ability to write swoonworthy scenes. It was the oneshot that started it all. 
Tagging: @accio-broom @be11atrixthestrange @folk-melody (and anyone else who would like to!)
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firefam · 3 years
Text
My 911 Fic Writing Masterlist
(Last edited May 28th 2021)
I’ve finally decided to do a masterpost of all my writing for the show 911 which is the fandom I’ve written the most for. There are 33 fics in this post, holy crap.
(If anyone is interested, I’ve also written for Star Trek AOS, Leverage, the MCU, among many other fandoms.)
As a general note, I’ll say most of my fics have Buddie elements and I also try to have at least one Firefam moment. Also, please check each fic’s warnings.
This is going to be long so most of it will be under a read more.
Last thing, please! If you like any of these stories, please consider leaving a comment and reblogging this post.
Multi Chapter
Reaching In The Dark | 38.7k
It all started innocent enough but Buck can no longer deny it.
He has a stalker.
Someone so obsessed with him that they would spend hours and hours following him, unnoticed, taking pictures of him, taking notes of his habits.
But life has been so good lately, and Buck doesn’t want to worry anyone. So he tells no one about it, he can deal with it on his own.
Leave My Body | 23k
"Do you want to see how it could have been? You are so sure you've been a burden on everyone you've ever met, but I can show you the truth."
.
Buck dies but it's not the end.
(Inspired by the movie It's a Wonderful Life)
Encore | 20.1k
“I’m going insane.”
“Did something happen?”
A dark, bitter laugh bubbles out of Buck – a mockery of joy.
“Everything keeps happening, and it’s still the same fucking day. It’s always the same and every time it’s different and I can’t do anything.”
.
Or
Buck keeps reliving the same day, over and over again.
Hurt/Comfort
Death, Be Not Proud | 10.1k
There are moments barge loudly into your life and, even as you’re going through them, you know they will change everything.
There are other moments that happen quietly, unnoticed, and it’s only afterwards that you know, looking back, that they have changed your life.
When the 118 is called to a decrepit house, they don’t think much of it.
Yet this will change their lives forever.
Silent Storm | 4.4k
Buck wakes up in the hospital.
Except he can't move. He can't speak.
But he can hear everything.
Dying Of The Light | 4.1k
If Purgatory was a place on Earth, it would be a hospital waiting room.
Or
Buck is in a coma, brain-dead - or so that's what the doctors say anyway.
(Silent Storm told from the Firefam's POV)
No Kingdom To Come | 8k
Days pass, then weeks that soon turn into months. Buck doesn’t call, he doesn’t text.
They don’t even know if he is still alive.
Maddie files a missing person’s report. Athena checks for any mention of his name anywhere in the country.
Nothing pops up, no one calls.
Buck is gone.
The Courage To Heal | 1.4k
He remembers her perfume. Thick, flowery – it makes him retch.
Why does he remember her perfume? Every time he smells anything like it, he wants to throw up, he wants to rush in the shower and try to wash away the stink of it.
Why can’t he move on?
He’s had sex with countless people over the years, especially back in his Buck 1.0 days, so why does that encounter remain? Why does it make him sick?
Why does he feel so ashamed?
.
Buck opens up about Dr Wells, the therapist from season 1.
The Loneliness Never Left Me | 2k
“Buck is afraid he is gonna end up like Red, without friends, without family. He thinks the job is the only thing he’ll ever have and that he’ll always be alone.”
Silence falls around them, heavy and suffocating.
“We need to show him that he’s got us."
“Not show him,” Chim says. “Tell him.”
Forever Day | 2k
The man pulls a gun out.
He aims it at Buck’s head.
“If you take another step I will blast your brains on the ground."
Hollow | ~300
Bobby on the day of his late wife and kids’ deaths, with Athena by his side.
Those Days | ~600
A look into Eddie and Christopher having a bad day made better by having each other.
Little Hope | ~500
A moment of support between two friends, Karen and Eddie, as Hen lays unconscious in a hospital bed.
Firefam Feels
Alone Again | 1.2k
Post S04E04
After standing up for himself to his parents, Buck feels hollow.
He isn't sure how he finds himself at Athena and Bobby's home, but maybe that's exactly where he needs to be.
Make It Three | 3.2k
It takes him twenty full minutes to realize what he has said, and then it hits him like a goddamn freight train.
Oh no. Oh no.
Buck just hung up on the phone on Athena Grant telling her that he loved her like he’s been doing it every day of his life.
Oh no.
.
Or
Buck slips up and tells Athena he loves her. He has a bit of a freak out.
Words Unsaid | 2.2k
“What’s going on?” Bobby and Buck say in unison.
“You two,” Athena announces, “are going to talk things out.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” Buck says, like a liar. “Everything is fine.”
.
Buck overhears Bobby say that he's not his kid. He doesn't take it very well.
Lay You Down | 2k
Buck is sick and can't be left alone in his feverish state, but everyone is working.
Everyone but Athena.
That Which We Carry | 2.1k
Bobby stops in his tracks.
Buck is sitting on the ground, next to his own car, his keys and phone forgotten next to him. His breathing is loud and short and he has his head in his hands so that his face is hidden.
He’s having a panic attack.
To Be Loved, To Belong | 3.1k
5 times Buck almost tells his family what they mean to him.
+1 time he does.
Buried | 2.3k
It’s supposed to be a simple call.
Of course, everything goes wrong.
Just As It Was | 2.3k
After the lawsuit, Buck overworks himself trying to prove his worth to the team.
One day, he pushes too far.
Sunlight | ~500
The Buckley siblings have a bet about what Maddie and Chim’s kid’s first word will be.
Family Matters | ~500
A look into the future at Bobby’s retirement party.
Humor & Fluff
Freedom In Love | 1.1k
“You can’t keep ignoring this,” Maddie says – again.
She says it a lot. His answer is pretty much always the same.
“Actually, I can. And I think I will. This is working great for me so far. It’s like Schrödinger’s confession, if I don’t say anything, Eddie can’t reject me.”
Green Heart | 3k
Buck starts seeing a man.
Eddie worries he is being a bigot, because the idea of Buck kissing another man makes him want to punch someone.
What else could it be?
The Most Perfect Moment | 1.7k
After Shannon, Eddie never thought that he would ever want to get married again.
Yet, a little red box lays in his pocket until the perfect moment to propose comes around.He has been carrying it for weeks now, waiting.
He wants his proposal to be perfect because he knows that this is the last time he will ever be asking this question. Buck is it for him. There will never be anyone else.
Blame It On Chimney | 1k
“So anyway, that’s how Chimney saw me full-on naked.”
Eddie chokes on his beer.
How It Looks | ~400
Someone is back to haunt Chim. Well, not exactly someone. Hen is tired.
The Rest Of Our Lives | ~500
One night, one conversation that changes everything between Buck and Eddie.
Tumblr Prompts
lover, be good to me | 7.1k
This is a collection of unrelated prompts first posted on my tumblr.
(Summary of each story in the first chapter's notes)
Eddie touching Buck’s birthmark | ~300
Eddie in a relationship is a clingy Eddie | ~200
Halloween at the station | ~500
Buck & Maddie being their cute selves |  ~400
Misc.
from the bottom i come running | 3.7k
Co-written with the endlessly talented ksmalltalk / @letitialewiss​
Crossover with Lone Star.
Just a soccer match for charity and two men cheering on their boyfriends.
Wait, no. Eddie and Buck are not dating, no matter what Chim and Hen can say.
Or
In the stands, Eddie befriends TK whose boyfriend is playing alongside Buck. Out on the pitch, Buck and Carlos are a force to be reckoned with.
Oh, and someone gets hurt.
safe inside | 5.6k
Co-written with the biggest-brained and most talented chasingobligion / @starlightbuck​
World-famous actor TK Strand and his bodyguard Carlos find themselves seeking shelter from fans and paparazzi in a bakery Carlos knows very well.
Or
Baking leads to a few life changes.
Breathe You In | 2k
Eddie can’t stop staring.
This selfie is going to be the death of him.Buck is shirtless, and giving the camera an intense look that leaves Eddie panting.
Or
Buck sends a picture that tips their relationship into something new.
139 notes · View notes
darawonplease · 3 years
Text
trauma. ch9 – wrong judgment.
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Dara and Jiwon are ordered to spend more time together by YG sajang-nim himself. Jiwon finally learns the truth about that night.
chapter 9 - wrong judgment.
a.n. I feel bad making the characters go through such hardships and drama, I know you all want them to be happy (together or not). I initially thought of this series to have a k-drama tone to it, it might get frustrating, but I promise you I’ll try to be more light-handed and give more space for them to shine so that we can actually root for them.
[3 days before the script read-through]
「Dara's POV」
I took a sip from the cup of tea, maybe I was hoping to escape from Chae’s questions, truth was I was too embarrassed to explain the whole situation to her. How could I when I just couldn’t make sense out of it myself?
She lived at 500 thousand miles of distance from me, but her boiling rage could be felt through the cluster of pixels of our unstable videocall.
.
“Just explain it to me so that I can understand it right, he literally said you tricked him into going out? Is he out of his mind? What a lunatic bastard!”, Chae nervously pet Pudding In an attempt to calm her nerves but the poor cat didn’t seem to be interested in that sudden display of affection, eager to be left on the floor.
I left the reg mug on the countertop as I whined at my phone, “I don’t know Chaerin-ah~ He literally said I did all of ‘that’ just to go with him”,
“What does he mean by ‘that’ anyways? Did you ask for explanations?”.
“I meant to ask him but we were interrupted by his manager and despite that… I don’t dare to ask him anything at this point!”.
“Unnie, you shouldn’t receive accusation without defending yourself! As if you forced him to go out with you! The nerve to accuse you like that! I told you, men only give headaches!”.
“He really looked disappointed tho…”.
“Stop defending him, you should start defending your feelings, first that selfish idiot of ji, then that opportunistic actor and now this compulsive liar of Jiwon oppa? You seem to attract bad men only”, she concluded.
.
[…]
.
“I told you, I predicted Jiwon oppa’s love-life will be troublesome as he’s always surrounded by women! Better stay away from men like that*”. Narae commented as she checked the colorful design the nail tech was executing.
(* //On an old tv program, an 18y/o Narae, pretended to be a shaman and predicted Eun Jiwon to always be surrounded by women, making his love life messy and troublesome.)
I glanced at the selca we shot at the tent bar, I just couldn’t take my eyes off from his eye-smile and his slightly flushed cheeks. He usually carried around a brooding look, that’s why the cheeky smirk on his face felt so much unlike him. Perhaps, that’s how the real Jiwon looked. Well, how could I know anyway? I knew nothing of him.
It seemed as if I had told him everything of me and yet, I really knew nothing of him outside his career. Our relationship was one-sided from the very start.
(//refer to chapter 3)
.
“I preferred it when you didn’t even look my way”, I sighed.
For once, I thought I became mature when it came to love. For once I knew what was better for me, I knew I had to keep distances, admiring him from afar to avoid hurting myself, not to ruin the perfect image I had of him. Just like a majestic fire, I got too close and got burned.
I almost surrendered at the thought, “He must really hate me right now, doesn’t he? Was I a fool for believing there was something between the two of us?”.
Some part of me didn’t want to blame him although his scenario didn’t look any different from the disappointing ones I had experienced before. He seemed different, but then again, the other all seemed different when I first met them. “Stupid me! How come I fell for that again!”.
I finally understood that I had to give up all my feelings for him at once to protect my heart. I had to go back to admiring him as a junior. No fantasising, no assuming.
How I wished I could’ve avoided him just enough to heal my broken heart, yet he kept appearing in front of me.
Why was fate so cruel to me?
「End of  POV」
.
[…]
.
[The day after the script read-through]
.
“Come on Hyung, I promised the others you’d come”, Mino whined on the phone, working his best aegyo against an uninterested Jiwon on the other side of the line.
“Is Seungyoon-ie coming?”, he sighed before asking.
“I told you, all members are coming, we’re going to eat barbeque right after-…I’ll pay”.
Jiwon had planned a long session of World of Warcraft for the night, but his favorite junior’s insistencies and a good free meal were good enough for a change of plan.
“Send me the address”, he surrendered before closing the call.
.
.
Jiwon lazily sat beside Mino once arrived at the Karaoke place, immediately resting his tired body on the red cushions.
“Oh no”, the hoobae thought to himself at the sight of Jiwon’s eyelids slightly closing.
“Hyung, choose something to sing while we wait for Seungyoon-ie!”, Mino quickly shoved the music book on Jiwon’s lap, he perfectly knew that he’d be capable of sleeping right there and then and there was no way in hell all four members of Winner wanted to lift his dead-weight again out of the room.
“Hi guys!”, a female voice could be heard from behind his back.
“This can’t be it”, Jiwon cursed Mino with his eyes.
“Dara unnie! You finally came!”, Jinu exhorted as he made his way to go hug her.
“I’m going”, Jiwon immediately stood up only to be stopped by Hoon’s arm, “You just got here Hyung! Where are you going?”.
He silently sighed and sat down again,“Why didn’t you tell me she was coming too?”, Jiwon lightly slapped Mino’s arm with the back of his hand to catch his attention. He wasn’t ready to face her, not when he had such mixed feelings in her regards.
Mino tilted his head, “Eh? Why? Is anything wrong?”.
“No, nothing”, Jiwon’s expression was gloomier than ever.
He secretly threw a glance at her. She looked melancholic, no matter how much she tried to conceal it around Winner.
“Dara Nuna? Is everything ok? Why the pouty face?”, Jinu didn’t take long to actually notice, he wasn’t her cherished dongsaeng for no reason.
“Huh? Did YG sajang-nim scold you?”.
“N-no it’s nothing like that, I’m okay, I swear you guys! Come on let’s sing”.
Jiwon glanced at her for a second too long,  she sure sucked at concealing her true feelings.
.
[…]
.
[Jiwon’s solo mv shooting – DAY1]
.
“You clearly told me about your feelings the other day, since we’re professionals let’s just pretend it never happened and get it over with. I won’t bother you anymore so don’t get in my way either”.
The coldness in her tone took Jiwon by surprise, there was something different about her that day. It seemed as if he could see his own self reflected onto her. Cold, unreachable, stoic. Being on the receiving end sure felt hurtful.
How could such a phrase be told by her gentle cherry pink lips? The melancholic expression he had seen on her at the karaoke room completely vanished, replaced by an emotionless glance that somehow felt aggressive.  
“Sure”, he pierced her through with the same energy but that didn’t seem to faze her at all.
.
.
“CUT! That didn’t seem right, let’s do it again!”.
The stylist hurriedly fixed their hair before disappearing behind the film director.
“Ok, now get closer, slowly!”.
Jiwon cupped Dara’s cheek, shifting his weight on his right hand as he carefully descended into the velvety couch she was laying on. Their eyes met for a few seconds before Dara panicked, scattering her attention anywhere but on Jiwon.
.
“CUT!”, film director Kim yelled.
The managers looked at each other, concerned by the grim expression on Mr. Kim’s face.
“This is no good, why can’t I feel the chemistry between the two leads? When you interact, I feel uncomfortable too!”.
“I apologize, Director Kim! I’ll try harder!”, Dara quickly bowed with her head.
“Let’s switch to the individual shots, quicky!”.
.
[...]
.
Director Kim trapped the managers in an empty spot of the set.
“Dohyun-ssi, Wonjun-ssi, I’ve called you here because I think we made a mistake casting Miss Sandara for the female role, I thought Mr. Yang chose her because of their strong affinity but it just feels like they’re worse than enemies on screen! This won’t work, we need to recast someone else, I won’t put up with this again!”.
“Mr. Kim, I wish I could avoid putting you in an uncomfortable spot but… please look at this”, Dohyun raised his phone, showing the main Naver page, his gaze purposely avoiding the director’s.
“Sandara Park confirmed an appearance on Eun Jiwon’s solo M/V”
“Huh? This is not good, this is terrible! I need have a serious talk with Mr. Yang!”.
.
[…]
.
「Dara's POV」
I couldn’t believe YG Sajang-nim actually convoked me to the 7th floor with him.
I glimpsed at President Yang: the moment he adjusted his old gray cap right after crossing his legs I knew I would be nagged at.
.
“Dara-yah, I thought you were excited to finally work with Jiwon, then why did the director have to complain to me?”.  
“I’m sorry president, I’ll try my best”.
“What’s the problem? You don’t like each other? Why are you seated so far apart from one another?”.
.
maybe because he makes every cell in my body uncomfortable, but I can’t really say that aloud, can I?
.
We exchanged guilty looks and proceeded to silently scoot a bit towards the center of the long sofa that ran through the CEO’s office.
“The scenes looked fine to me though”. Jiwon interjected, scratching the back of his head as he leaned back onto the seat.
“Fine is not enough. If we want this promotion to work it’ll need to look like you two are very close, that’s why I decided to take action with your respective managers”.
.
Dohyun rarely had me wondering about his whereabouts, lately he had been fixing my schedule without informing me, that’s how he agreed to my appearance in Jiwon’s MV without my approval.
-
I nervously started fidgeting, “What do you mean by that President Yang?”.
“They’ll arrange you to participate on the same shows so that you’ll have the time to know one another, become comfortable and also make some public appearance, the shows will air right before and right after the release of Jiwon’s solo album, to increase the public’s interest”.
“I-is that really necessary Mr. President?”, he objected.
.
as if I wanted to spend any more time with you, Mr. Precious.
.
“It wouldn’t have been if you had worked harder on your affinity on screen, but you two left me no choice, It’s decided”.
.
And at that moment I realized, I was done for.
「End of POV」
.
[…]
.
[The day of Sechskies’ concert]
.
“Dara-yah! I didn’t know you came, why didn’t you tell me?”. Suwon immediately sprinted towards the disguised Sandara, the white mask covered her features well and yet- you could really tell her identity because of her unique timid demeanour.
“She’s here too? When will she stop appearing before my very eyes? This is becoming ridiculous”, Jiwon thought as he rolled his eyes away from her image reflected on the mirror right in front of him.
“Was she forced to come here too because the CEO asked us to spend more time together?”. Jiwon couldn’t help but quietly huff alone at the hair-styling station while all the other members and staff were busy smothering Sandara with attention.
“This is the first time I pre-order a ticket by myself, I wasn’t sure how it worked so I waited to tell you, in case the purchase didn’t go through”, she chuckled, slightly embarrassed at her own computer illiteracy.
.
“What? She did it by herself? No way”, Jiwon continued to silently judge her.
.
“Why haven’t you contacted me? The staff would’ve provided you with a VIP ticket for free”, Suwon pointed out after helping her carry a basket to the glass tabletop in the middle of the waiting room.
“It was difficult, but I really wanted to support Sechskies since it’s your last concert for the tour, and also- I’ve recently visited the Philippines, so I decided to bring you something to snack on!”.
.
“Does she ever stop smiling like that? Aren’t her cheeks sore?”, he unknowingly found himself scrutinizing her, all the attention was diverted onto her anyway, why bother ignoring her presence?
.
Dara readily informed the staff that the big basket of Filipino delicacies was there for them to enjoy and proceeded to distribute individual paper bags to each member.
“Here”, she extended her arms and offered one to Jiwon. He glared at her straight away, not averting his gaze for a second.
Her heart was about to jump out from her chest, “Why is he staring so intensely at me?”, she was not sure if that was meant to make her uneasy or was just his way of dealing with people.
“Here you go!”, she forced a smile and immediately dropped the bag in Jiwon’s hands.
.
“That’s very thoughtful of you Dara-yah, you’re the best!”, Jaeduck opened his own with anticipation, clearly moved by that simple considerate act.
Jaejin waved a yellow post-it he had just found and questioned: “Is this note supposed to be here?”.
“Oh- that! I figured a couple of encouraging words would be nice!”, she beamed warmly, making her eyes disappear in two cute half-moons.
Jiwon looked down and casually searched for the piece of paper in question amid the packets of chips and fruits, but failing to find it. His eyebrow twitched a little, why was he so bothered by it? Not that he should really care about a stupid note. But why did everyone receive one but him? Was she being petty out of revenge?
.
Suwon proceeded to attentively read his: “Mine says ‘Thank you for being such a good friend, you improved a lot Suwon-Oppa, fighting!’ ”
“Oh no- don’t read it out loud! It’s embarrassing-… I’ll get going then”.
“I’ll escort you”, Jiwon suddenly stood up and closely followed behind her with a couple of pink hair rollers still attached to his black hair.
.
An awkward silence wrapped the two of them as they silently walked beside one another through the venue hallways.
“You were the one who told me to get it over with. So why are you being so petty to act in such a childish way?”, he stopped in his tracks.
“Did you accompany me just to say this?”. Dara turned around to face him, glaring at him like she never did with anybody else before, “I’m tired of being accused like this, I’m going”, she turned her back on him without hesitation and crossed the door.
.
“That woman is unbelievable”, a growl left Jiwon’s mouth as he angrily stomped back towards the waiting room.
“Oh- look hyung, there’s a sticky note attached to your sole”, Jaeduck pointed out as soon as Jiwon sat down at the styling station.
He lifted his shoe only to find the yellow post-it he was searching for.
.
[Jiwon Oppa fighting! Congrats on your solo debut, enjoy the snacks!]
.
He sighed at the sight of those supporting words. Why did she have to be so kind for? Perhaps he had a hard time accepting she was more mature than him, in fact, it seemed like he was the only one who didn’t “get over it” between the two of them.
.
No, she was the cunning woman who manipulated his friend into helping her orchestrate that date.
“Was she?”, he shook his head. Of course, she was. And yet, this time Jiwon was the one at fault. He had just accused her of something she didn’t do. He felt apologetic, but how could you ask forgiveness for something so irreparable? As he said, some things are better left in pieces or you’ll get hurt fixing them.
Wasn’t that exactly what he was hoping for? That annoying woman would definitely stop bothering him. And yet, he couldn’t accept it.
.
“Come on hyung~ I know you’re trying to keep it a secret, but you’re so obvious, why would you accompany her otherwise?”, Jaeduck interrupted his reflection, playfully nudging his leader to make him spill the beans.
“Suwon-ah, we need to talk”, Jiwon grabbed his member’s arm and dragged him along towards the next room.
.
.
“YOU BASTARD TRAITOR!”. Jiwon’s voice was so powerful that it could be heard through the thick wall separating the two waiting rooms.
“Do you think they’re doing fine hyung?”. Jaeduck tilted his head at Jaejin, slightly concerned for their dear maknae.
“It’s fine as long as we’re not involved”, the rapper chuckled calmly while Jiwon’s voice got louder and louder.
.
“J-jiwon hyung, you’re ruining my stage clothes…”, a droplet of sweat dribbled down Suwon’s forehead as Jiwon didn’t seem to release the grip on his collar any sooner.                                                                                             .
“How could you help her and set me up for that stupid date?!”.
.
(//Poor Suwon-…)
.
“H-help her? What are you talking about hyung?”.
“Just admit it, you bastard! We’ve known each other for 23 years old but you sold me to her!”
“Wait- are you talking about Sandara?”.
“I see you’ve stopped playing dumb Suwon”.
“I just told her to let you loosen up a bit! Why are you so mad for hyung?”, he protected his face with his arms as his last resource, ready to get beaten by the leader, “It’s not even me who sent that message, it was Jaeduck hyung!”. He didn’t hesitate to throw his hyung under the bus.
Jiwon’s fist dangerously got nearer to the maknae’s face.
“N-no Hyung! You must be mistaken, I never helped her go out with you!”, Suwon’s voice cracked under pressure.
.
[after a throughout and embarrassing explanation of the events leading to the misunderstanding…]
.
“How could you even believe we set you up Hyung?”.
“It’s not my fault I kept seeing you huddled up with Sandara at all times”, Jiwon protested, not even looking at him.
“I wasn’t huddled u—wait, have you been spying on us?”.
“I-it’s not like I was spying on you! You two were always in my way!”, the leader complained, scoffing at Suwon’s assumptions although they were in part true.
“You’ve become so diffident throughout the years Hyung, you always feel the need to push everyone away”, Suwon leaned on the wall behind him, a sudden sense of calm and wiseness possessing him, “She’s different, isn’t she?”, he continued.
.
(//Suwon dropping truth bombs is everything we ever wanted)
.
“What are you even talking about…?”, Jiwon nervously rebutted.
“You usually straighten things out with women, you’re upfront If you’re uninterested in them. With her? You even came up with a reason to despise her because you can’t accept the fact you actually like her”.
“L-like her?”, Jiwon was suddenly reminded of how intrusively her face kept appearing in his thoughts, “W-what the fuck are you even talking about?”, a weak murmur came out of his mouths, he was almost embarrassed by how non-confidently he was denying it.
“I’m sure you’ve been acting strange around her because of this”.
Suwon wasn’t wrong, he had been unkind to her, whether in his mind or verbally when she didn’t deserve any of that.
“You sure don’t know Sandara very well, she’s a good and honest person, just be kind to her from now on hyung”, he sighed.
“I-…”.
“Jiwon, Suwon? You’re on stage in 5 minutes!”.
.
[…]
.
「Dara's POV」
I hurriedly got back to my seat, careful to put my disguise on not to be recognized by the fans. I was a yellowkie that day.
The huge led cubes turned fiery red were accompanied by a suspenseful beat that slowly grew, just like the anticipation of the audience.
A figure appeared at the center of the rising platform, hidden by a thick cloud of smoke. My heart skipped a beat, it seemed as if I was catapulted back into the 90s, I wasn’t Sandara Park the celebrity anymore, I felt like the sensible teenager who squirmed at Sechskies’ posters in her room in the Philippines again.
The crescendo stopped, the roaring of the crowd making itself heard. I held my breath for a second until the opening song started.
My place was among the crowd, cheering him from afar. Not on stage with him.
.
♪  I’m dizzy, I’m spinning I wanna close my eyes now I’m dizzy, I’m spinning I’m getting vertigo from thinking about you ♪
[Vertigo – SECHSKIES]
.
I jumped at the beat, waving the lightstick like crazy. If that was the energy I was consuming for the opening song, I wasn’t sure how could I survive the rest of the concert.
.
♪ Like the TV that’s turned off   We’ve ended   But I’m here   What am I waiting for? ♪
.
“We’ve ended, but I’m here. What am I waiting for…?”.
My pace slowed, why did I relate so much with the lyrics? I shook my head to get out all of those intruding thoughts. Why was my heart even acting up?
.
♪ I wanna run away but I’m at the same place every day   My head is about to break from thinking of you ♪
.
I wish there was a switch to turn it off. That wasn’t the right time to start thinking about him again, I just had to enjoy the show. I was there for SECHSKIES, not to feed my sadness over him.
I was left in awe, his energy was explosive. My eyes were naturally drawn to him, there was no point in denying his charisma. He was born to be a star.
.
How I wished I could stand on a stage again. Just wishful thinking. Seeing him perform with such infectious energy reminded me of why I wanted to become a singer in the first place.
Seeing Sechskies perform together made me feel hopeful; no matter how lost I felt. I secretly hoped I could find my own way only to go back to sing with 2NE1.
A small teardrop of joy fell from my eyes as I kept cheering on them.
.
[…]
.
“Dara-yah! Did you have fun?”, Jaeduck enthusiastically asked me as he held my hands.
“Lots of it! I felt like a teenager again~ ”.
Suwon wiped away the sweat on his neck and joined the conversation.
“You’re here! I still can’t believe you managed to make it to our last concert, thank you so much for the support”.
“We’re grabbing dinner with the staff, are you coming Dara-yah?”.
“I-…”, I looked at Jiwon from a distance and squirmed, “I’ll join you next time! I have a shooting tomorrow morning”. I dismissed myself and left after a round of farewells.
.
.
I stepped out of the elevator and caught a glimpse of my red car under the pouring rain. There it was my luck for that day. “If only I had grabbed my umbrella…”, I clutched the hoodie and pushed it onto my head, quickly accepting the idea I’d definitely get drenched wet. I sprinted towards the parking lot, careful to avoid all of the puddles in my way.
“Dara wait!”.
The sloshing sound of steps in the rain followed behind me as I slowly turned around towards the voice calling my name.
“Y-you…?”.
-
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sandalaris · 4 years
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DVD Commentary A: Lesson in Navigation - The End of Chapter 5? Starting with: "She wakes to the sounds of the shower running and an empty bed across the room." (it may be slightly longer than 500 words, but only by like 60, don't cut off this line: "It reminds her a little of the way he'd case a potential score, half-lost in the calculations and newly revealed details, and she fights a shiver, looking away as she ties her laces and stands." cause it's one of my favorites)
A. Send me any passage of 500 words or less from any fanfic I’ve written, and stick that selection in my ask. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what’s going on in the character’s heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
She wakes to the sounds of the shower running and an empty bed across the room. There’s a pounding behind her eyes, a physical protest against the late night and too short hours of restless sleep, and an irritation at the world under her skin.
This was a mixture between my personal dislike of developing a crush, because it feels awful in the beginning and I don’t get anyone who says they like feeling that way, and my being convinced that Kate didn’t sleep well after her realization the night before that led to Kate waking up cranky and with a headache from a bad night’s sleep.
Not gonna lie, I’m a little proud of the line “an irritation at the world under her skin.” I made a point not to cut it when my editing almost reworded it in such a way that it didn’t work.
She wants to roll over and escape back into unconsciousness for a few more hours but the digital clock beside her tells her its already well into late morning. Her stomach grumbles in hungry protest as Kate slips from the bed, blinking groggily in the muted light from the curtained window. 
I probably spent way too long trying to figure out exactly what time motels stop serving breakfast, especially when I didn’t even specify what time it actually was that Kate woke up, but that’s a big part of writing, doing a bunch of research you never actually use. I spent a lot of time trying to figure out the timeline so that I could stick as close to canon as I could, and I needed it to be late enough that they wouldn’t arrive at Uncle Eddie’s too soon but also wouldn’t have to skip out eating. Parts of the breakfast scene were already written and I really didn’t want to have to chuck them all and make them eat in the car.
The shower turns off and Seth appears a few minutes later clad in boxers and pulling his undershirt on over his head.
Seth was always going to come out in some kind of clothes, but I did amuse myself with the idea of writing him coming out in a towel and a flustered Kate grumpily dealing with that.
It’s such a small thing, I doubt anyone’s noticed or cares that much, but I try very hard to only call Seth’s white tanks “undershirts.”
Lingering patches of moisture glue the thin material along the lines of his chest and torso and Kate’s eyes catch and stick for a moment, a faint echo of heat pulsing low in her stomach.
Because now that Kate’s realized she’s attracted to him, she's going to notice such things in a way she didn’t quite before. And Seth seems like the kind of guy to not fully dry off before pulling some of his clothes back on (but not all, because pants on damp skin doesn’t work). They’ve also developed quite a bit of casual intimacy with each other by the time season two starts, and coming out in what is essentially his underwear falls under that.
I was also wanted to touch on the idea that Kate finds her feelings/attraction to him a bit inconvenient. Not only does she have to deal with everything else going on in her life, she’s now distracted by Seth in a damp undershirt and runs the risk of being caught staring.
I’m also asexual and do not understand the appeal of visual stimuli in a purely sexual context. I read a lot various slowburn romances dealing with sexual attraction in hopes that I could get Kate’s physical attraction/noticing of Seth across in this and the chapters following. I know this is just a short line, but “a faint echo of heat pulsing low in her stomach” was practically agonized over as I tried to figure out if that was something that was plausible. *shrug* It’s easier to imagine/write about when there’s touching and/or emotions involved.
He pauses when he sees her, gaze flicking down to her bare feet before coming back up to her sleep mussed hair.
“Sleeping Beauty finally wakes,” he greets almost cheerfully and Kate scowls at him.
It’s a cliche and I don’t care, Seth one-hundred percent noticed her wearing his shirt and only his shirt, especially with her just-out-of-bed hair. He’s also more than a little amused by Kate’s sleepy state, because sleepy people are adorable and you can’t convince me otherwise.
The fandom refers to Kate as a Disney princess enough that I just had to put a reference in as well. :P And Seth will take a teasing opportunity when it presents itself, especially after last night and her new awareness of him. And I’m stopping there because I do have his version of this scene written and I don’t want to spoil everything that’s going through his head.
And of course, grumpy!Kate.
Seth, she’d discovered shortly into their life on the road, is a morning person. Even when hungover he’s able wake-up fairly alert and ready to get moving, while Kate has always needed time to shed the lingering effects of sleep. “Get dressed. Breakfast ends in forty-five minutes.” 
“Yeah yeah,” she mumbles, rolling her eyes as she heads towards the now vacant bathroom.
I took most of that from canon and just expanded on it a bit. We only see him wake up the once, but he definitely got up and got moving really quickly. It wasn’t much to decide that he’s a morning person.
She finds her clothes folded haphazardly on the bathroom counter, pausing with a flash of muted embarrassment at the sight of her underwear sitting on top of her jeans.
It amused me to think of Seth catching sight of Kate’s clothes on the shower and then having to pull them down and poorly folding them. Just the domesticity of it, of sharing a living space with another person and all those little things that you end up doing/seeing. But it also takes on a different, more embarrassing context when you like someone and you realize they’ve seen your bra and panties sitting out.
It’s ridiculous, Seth must have seen every article of clothing she owns at some point or another, either when doing laundry or because life in one room motels doesn’t leave a lot of space for modesty, but there’s something about knowing he had to pull her delicates down from the top of the shower curtain that leave her self-conscious and eyeing the simple faded green cotton critically.  
I was thinking of those moments when you run into your crush and suddenly you’re thinking about how your shirt still has that coffee stain from this morning or how messy you’re desk/apartment/workspace/etc looks and just becoming suddenly self-conscious of how they are taking in you and your stuff. And again, the whole he saw her bra and panties thing and then had to move them out of the way.
She shakes it off, brushing her teeth and using the restroom quickly before pulling on her panties and jeans.
I’ll admit, this line was mostly because I didn’t want to forget that these are people and they need to do basic human things like use the restroom.
Her shirt from the day before is full of weird wrinkles and her bra still too damp from where the lightly padded cups absorbed their fair share of water and she hesitates only a moment before shoving them both in the plastic shopping bag.
Part of this was an excuse to get Kate in Seth’s shirt for a bit longer (for reasons), although the bra part was more inspired because I noticed Kate wears bras with slight padding and I know they can take too long to dry.
Folding the sleeves of Seth’s shirt up to her elbows and removing the smudges of make-up from below her eyes go a long way to making her look presentable, but she still morns the loss of her few cosmetics and face wash. Or god, even a hairbrush, running her fingers through her hair only does so much.
I hadn’t entirely realized the implications of Kate and Seth running into Carlos right after their dinner and then having to flee until the conversation Kate had with Sonja in the parking lot. (I’m a pantser, I set write something and then think about the consequences after :P) In the first draft, Seth didn’t come back with anything after getting a room so there was no bag or Tylenol for Kate’s headache or toothbrushes. But he also didn’t get much, and I wanted to show the consequences of running with virtually nothing and how much you miss the little things.
Seth’s brows knit together when he sees her, but he doesn’t comment.
Seth and seeing her wearing his damn shirt and the statement it implies... yeah...
He watches her though, throwing on his suit jacket and buttoning it closed as Kate pulls on her socks and shoes, something thoughtful and a bit intense behind his eyes. It reminds her a little of the way he'd case a potential score, half-lost in the calculations and newly revealed details, and she fights a shiver, looking away as she ties her laces and stands.
Seth is a strategist guy, and when he’s casing a job he’s figuring out angles and how to best approach. He knows how to work the job, how to study all the pieces and get everything set up to give himself the best possible outcome. Its a rather focused look he has, his attention devoted on gathering as much information as he can and working out the steps he’ll need to take. Not to imply that Kate is something he's going to steal (although he kind of already did that) or that he’s got some grand master plan here, but rather this newly discovered (on her part) possibility between them and the statement she’s subconsciously implying and just this shift in their relationship... there’s a strategy to courtship and Seth knows strategy.
“C’mon,” she mutters, shoving what little possessions they have into the bottom of her bag. “I’m hungry.”
I’ll be entirely honest, I struggled way too much with how to end this scene. I swear that line gave me more trouble than the rest of the scene combined.
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thebeautyofdisorder · 4 years
Text
The Undone & The Divine (BBC Dracula) - Chapter 5
A/N: Okay...this took far longer than I expected it to, but to be fair for five minutes I was almost convinced to take a break and leave it at four. Five minutes is giving it too much credit, I think. But, either way - here it is. I hope you enjoy it. I labored over the last bits of this for far too long wondering if I was getting too ahead of myself, but... what the hell, right? Please reassure me with comments.
Rating: still T, for blood, language, and a bit of dubious consent/alluding to adult concepts 
Pairing: Dracula & Zoe/Agatha Van Helsing
Chapters 1 & 2 Here - Chapter 3 Here - Chapter 4 Here
Can be found on AO3 - Right HERE -
Chapter 5
It was another two weeks before Zoe saw sunlight again. Not out of any kind of vampiric repulsion, but purely due to the epic workload she had set up for herself. She knew as much as she hated to admit it that Dracula was right. She had a limited amount of time to make good on her intentions and an expanse of scientific ground to break, more than she had ever envisioned for herself. 
Worse, there was a level of occult knowledge that she needed to reacquaint herself with since she’d tossed it in the bin twenty years prior, but Agatha was at least useful in that respect. Granted 1897 was not the most ideal cut off, but it gave her a decent groundwork. What wasn’t useful was the obvious glee that overcame her in the presence of the monster Zoe had been taught from an early age was basically the devil incarnate. And it’s not as though the nun even disagreed with the assessment, save her belief in the literal devil causing a bit of a contextual conflict. 
Zoe had always took pride in her stoicism, but Agatha was quite the opposite. She’d always found some sort of wicked, curious amusement in everything, even in the face of death – and vampires, apparently. Not that she didn’t have a very personal reason to be interested now. No, ignoring Dracula was no longer an option. Understanding him was the only way to fully understand herself, and whoever else the Count was no doubt soon to add to the ranks of the undead. 
As much as she detested to admit it, she could feel herself changing – slowly, but surely evolving past the limits of what it had always meant to be human. Everything was different – the way things smelled, looked, tasted, felt… there wasn’t a sense unaffected. And with it had grown subtle, gnawing hunger that she was determined to repress – or, currently, find a safe way to sate. And she was close. So close. But without a few more key bits of information from the beast himself, there was no way to be sure.
She had let him be for now, since she knew they at least had time in that regard. Dracula was many things, but a total idiot was not one of them, and no doubt he’d taken notice of the pattern just as easily as she did. The longer he spent with each victim, the more ideal the transformation after death. Instant kills were a 50/50 shot at best. If he was on the lookout for another ‘bride’ – even if he’d found one, there was no way he’d waste his newly renewed hope by getting overzealous. Zoe alone seemed to be the outlier of that unspoken rule, but ingesting so much of his blood (and also being on death’s doorstep already) seemed to have been the push.
It wasn’t like she didn’t know where he was. In fact, she found that if she let herself focus on him too long she couldn’t seem to avoid getting a sort of passing ‘update’ of his current actions – whether she wanted it or not. Just the person she wanted to be mentally connected to. Though whatever the connection was, it seemed to be a two-way street as opposed to the sort of controlling thrall that he had over certain others. At least she hadn’t caught herself doodling ‘Dracula is God’ in the corner of any of her notepads, thank fuck for that.
After a couple of weeks, however, the peaks at his consciousness were becoming more involuntary – either that, or he’d found out a way to push them at her deliberately, which wouldn’t surprise her in the least. An array of miscellaneous throats, mostly – with the occasional face to go with them even, but a strangely short order of corpses. Not too surprising given his renewed intent to procreate, but she expected the body count would be still reasonably…abundant. 
Despite knowing she should be relieved, Zoe felt a creeping sense of dread. How many people did he intend to turn? To keep up with his usual appetite he’d have to be keeping a menagerie of donors. Willing donors. For a brief, mindless moment she wondered to herself how the hell he was managing that. Her own voice (more or less) answered in a clipped mocking laugh, echoing out loud in the silence of her office. 
Tall, dark, handsome, well dressed, charming – in a snakey sort of way with no particular sexual preference, in a city full of jaded, power starved people longing to escape from their problems, with a cynical attitude toward life and death?  Christ’s sake, they were in the age of the opioid epidemic and the man was walking heroin. Literally. The world was doomed. 
Ready or not, it was about time she stopped making things so easy for him, Zoe decided, packing up her latest round of experiments and locking them away. Just because she couldn’t kill Dracula (yet) didn’t mean that she couldn’t distract him - a thought that she was well aware originated more with Agatha than herself, but the scientist in her was still fully willing to embrace. 
The methodology was...negotiable, they'd settled on vaguely as Zoe found her way quickly home to her flat. 
Once she decided to figure out his location, it didn't surprise her that the count was 'on the prowl', but she did have to roll her eyes at his choice of venue. Apparently he was going to make following him inconvenient. It definitely wasn't a club she could just waltz into dressed like a science professor and blend in. 
But this is good, he won't be expecting your intrusion. 
...Or he's expecting me to show up in a lab coat and give myself away Zoe countered internally, becoming arguably far too comfortable with disagreeing with her own inner voice as she yanked out a little black dress from the back of her wardrobe and tossed it on her bed, along with her far more lived in leather jacket.
Fine. This was fine. If she could keep randy 20-year-olds focused on studying science instead of each other on a regular basis, she could certainly handle putting a wrench in a 500 year old man-child’s seduction techniques. 
------
Of the numerous intrigues and conundrums the 21st century had wrought upon the Count, the notion of the vampire being not only a cultural topic of admiration but practically a fetish was one he had never seen coming. He was actually embarrassed it had taken him this long to fully comprehend and, in turn, utilize this phenomenon. It was true none of his earlier victims had really been surprised when his teeth sank into their necks, but the full scope of it had never really ‘dawned’ on him until baring his fangs had inspired one too many bouts of earnest excitement. It was frankly hilarious, not to mention convenient, though truth be told he was beginning to miss the charms of inspiring unholy terror. 
Not that the initial euphoria didn’t quickly evolve into proper panic once the reality of exsanguination occurred to them – if he allowed it to. He sometimes did, particularly since he was losing patience with being told it wasn’t Halloween just before ripping into their throats. He opted not to keep those idiots around, more often than not. The undead didn’t need any more denial in its ranks - Zoe was already proving to be so far immune to his influence in every way, he did not need any more deviance. 
It luckily hadn’t taken Dracula long to finally hit the smorgasbord: an entire dark room, filled almost entirely with dozens of willing, believing victims. So many nocturnal souls, full of wickedness and naïve delight at the mere thought of a creature such as him walking amongst them. Many of them even liked to already call themselves vampires, some in jest and others in actual earnest - artificial fangs and all! It was downright adorable. Now why should he, of all people, ruin their fun? 
It never took very long to capture someone’s attention, and that particular night was no different save for the fact that his potential prey had suddenly turned their attention away from him and was having some unknown words whispered in their ear by a woman he vaguely recognized as the bartender. 
“I…um, I need to go. Emergency,” The young woman stated in the broken persistence easily identified as that of an unpracticed liar, and she dissolved hurriedly back into the darkness from whence she came. 
Dracula’s head tilted briefly in confusion, but then in realization he sighed as his eyes scanned and locked in a glare on the slender figure at the far end of the bar who was smirking at him. 
Striding over with exaggerated reluctance, he leant against the surface at her side.
“What did you tell her?” 
Zoe shrugged, still clearly pleased with herself. “Just enough to make you sound revolting. Not exactly hard to do.”
“No one likes a cock block, Dr. Helsing,” he accused with a raise of his brows, looking down at her.
Zoe chuckled aloud. “I think we both know your cock isn’t something to worry about,” she replied, eyes rolling at his apparent need to show off his modern vocabulary. 
“Ouch,” he rumbled, amusement still glinting in the black pools of his eyes despite his attempt at a pout. “Should I be offended?” 
“Is there even anything to be offended about?” She found herself asking, and briefly cursed Agatha’s ever-greedy curiosity.
The Count’s brows shot upwards, in either genuine surprise or a good ploy of it as he turned his body to face hers. “Are you asking if I’m, as you say, ‘fully functional and anatomically correct’? Oh dear, now I am offended.” It didn’t falter his smile.
“I just assumed you saw everyone as little more than happy meals with legs,” she said in, granted, unnecessary explanation for the question. Never in anything she’d seen or heard of his attempts to seduce or charm did he seem to be in pursuit of anything but dinner.
“I’m a man of many appetites, some just supersede others,” he replied simply, at first, though quickly amended. “And certain aspects of being a vampire does make it difficult to find a partner who will remain conscious or even survive the experience through to its conclusion.”
“Sounds like a self-control problem to me, though...I wouldn’t have thought the killing part to be an issue for you,” she uttered in return, more of Agatha’s intrigue popping out without her consent. 
His eyes narrowed knowingly, as they always seemed to do when he sensed Zoe’s words were not always her own, though it didn’t stop him from responding.
“I may be undead, but I am no necrophile. I told you I like the lively ones, and I meant that. Even if the vast majority are ‘happy meals with legs’ that’s no reason to ignore what’s between them. Where do you think all that blood flows to when you’re aroused?”
“Sorry I asked,” Zoe clipped, eyes rolling again in sheer avoidance of his probing gaze.
“Maybe I ought to try some restraints,” he mused thoughtfully, ignoring her comment entirely and refocusing on his current ‘conundrum’ she’d been so kind as to bring to the forefront of his thoughts. “I fed from an interesting little dominatrix the other night…”
“For them or for you?” Zoe found herself snarking back, beginning to wonder if it was a better or worse choice to let a nun have this conversation in her place.
“Oh, them. It would keep them conscious a bit at least. When your saliva is a sedative, over-eagerness just breeds trouble. I don’t even know if they make anything strong enough to restrain me. Silver…if you believe the stories, though I’ve never tried it.” His brow quirked upward lasciviously at her, an obvious lure. “Perhaps you would do the honors?” 
“Perhaps I should try to stake you, just to be sure. You never know, I could get lucky.”
“Now, now. We both know you’re not going to do that. Come on Agatha – don’t think I don’t know when it’s you, you always were a curious cat - if things went your way I’d still be locked in a box to prod at for the rest of eternity, all for the sake of extending your morbid curiosity. I was extending a courtesy with that offer. It could be the closest you’d get to satisfaction in that regard. Or any regard," he drawled, punctuating his already not-so-subtle meaning by moving in closer still, deliberately intrusive. He lived to infuriate. 
Agatha’s first instinct was to aim a slap at his absurdly smug face just for the audacity, regardless of Zoe’s opposing instinct to ignore him entirely. Apparently the nun won out, though the speed in which her hands zoomed forward was an impossible thing, and as Zoe feared, a grave mistake. The older vampire caught her hand in his massive fist before it came within an inch of his flesh, with a look of pure satisfaction. In the same gesture, his other hand shot to grasp her throat and by the force of the movement alone urged her back from the bar and into the shadows just beyond it. The music was melancholic, but loud and just chaotic enough to drown out the faint growl erupting from his throat. 
“Ooh. Look at you go. I think my blood really did do the trick, didn’t it? None of my brides, before or after their full transformation, could even come close to my speed. And you’re already halfway there. Not to mention completely immune to my power of suggestion yet still able to locate me, it seems – very, very irritating, but impressive. Any fangs yet?” 
Struggling briefly in his grasp, she bared her teeth at him spitefully, showing off her teeth’s lack of points. 
“Aw. What a pity,” he sighed, letting go of her hand, but kept her neck in his grip – not squeezing, but present and unmoving, nonetheless lest she try to attack him again.
 “Still trying to fight it, aren’t you? Zoe’s just a stubborn thing, she wants to prove me wrong. But you…you are trying to protect her. From me…herself, I don’t know, but it’s only going to end up driving her mad.” 
“It’s completely feasible to resist the blood lust,” Agatha persisted, meeting his steely gaze with her own. “She’s figured out how it works, what the vampiric body needs to function.” 
“And I suppose you’d be the expert at resisting lusts, wouldn’t you?” His fingers tightened minutely around the long column of her throat, and his words were a harsh whisper that’s effect on her body mocked the very virtue it was pretending to praise. 
“For once, Dracula, stop flattering yourself,” she spat, turning her head as much to look away from him – at anything but him - as his hold would allow.
“I never flatter myself. You stop elevating yourself. You’re not a nun anymore, you’re just another wayward soul. You’ve died twice trying to rid the world of me and we’re both still here. Take a hint.” 
“Perhaps I’m still here to stop you,” she suggested, finally turning back to face him with a challenging lift of her brow.
The Count met her challenge with a look of utter acceptance , his face leaning down to hers in what to anyone else would be a clear threat - and to anyone else, it was exactly that. To a normal, non corrupt human his kiss meant instant submission, the predator incapacitating his prey. 
“Then, by all means, stop me.” 
She stood stiff in the face of his intimate approach, for a moment able to ignore any further context and simply prod at him. 
"Your delusions won't work on me anymore," Agatha reminded him blandly, pushing breath out with each word just because she could. 
This gave him pause for all of a moment, but it was seemingly only to observe her stubborn face with faint amusement. 
"Good," he uttered against her lips with mocking simplicity, but before she could take another breath he was kissing her hard and to his utter relief, didn't get limp, clouded acceptance in response. 
She let out a frustrated growl of her own in protest, more human than beast, though her attempt at clamping her lips closed in protest came a moment too late. He'd captured her lower lip between his own and she felt the sharp scrape of his canines as he pulled, still prominent without the animalistic haze of hunger. 
Her initial will to resist buckled to make way instead for an aggressive refusal to be dominated - whether those forces had names or were shared equally between the Van Helsing women, he couldn't say, but instead of allowing him to ravage her mouth unopposed, or even to attempt to fight or flee as the Count half expected, she'd responded with equal fervor - out of lust or spite or both. Her blunt teeth bit down hard where his had only nipped and her previously limp hand found its way to the back of his head and anchored itself in his locks to counter the tightening of his grip on her neck. 
The snarl that reverberated from his throat and into her mouth was every bit as bestial as hers was human, and his grip tightened dangerously just before forcing her backwards and away from him like he was embracing an open flame. She barely caught herself before crashing into a wall, but still looked on with unadulterated satisfaction as Dracula looked twice as shaken as she did in the face of his first kiss in 500 years that didn't end in immediate surrender. Men - alive or dead - were all the same. 
After a moment, he caught himself, letting out a wicked chuckle in the face of her smirk. "We'll make a monster of you yet, Van Helsing," he assured her raggedly, bluster gradually returning to his stance and the set of his jaw as he watched her.
Zoe - and fully Zoe at that moment righted herself from where she leaned against the wall, adjusting her jacket, the satisfied look still in her eyes. 
"Happy hunting, Count Dracula. Just don't expect me to make it easy for you."
And without looking at him again, she walked passed where he stood and headed in a leisurely stroll towards the exit, forcing her heart rate back to its normal deathly calm. 
----
I’m not even sure what to say to this other than either I’m sorry or your welcome. I’m just going to tag everyone who’s nerding has inspired me to continue, regardless if you’ve showed any interest in reading or not. If you want to be tagged, let me know
Tag List: @charlesdances @bellamortislife @carydorse @break-free-killer-queen @imagineandimagine @my-fanfic-library @punk-courtesan @ohveda @wannabebloodsucker @hoefordarkness @mymagicsuitcase @crazytxgradstudent @itendedbadly @theplumsoldier @gatissed @allfandoms-writings @littlemessyjessi @vampiregirl1797 @desperatefrenchwriter @iloveclaesbang @ss9slb @dreamerkim @mephdcosplay @violetmarkey @alhoyin @thozaarmitage @girlonfireice@cipherwheeldecoder @crowley-needs-a-hug @mr-kisskiss-bangbang @iloveclaesbang
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maggyme13 · 4 years
Text
Sugar (6/?)
AN: Here is the next part. What do you think will happen now? WIll Loki relent, or will he stay the asshole he was?
Wordcount: around 16000
Warnings: I think not
Masterlist
Sugar- Masterlist
Sugar 5
Wearily you stepped into the mentioned bath.
The floor was laid out with dark wooden planks; Tub (inset for half its depth in the floor, filled with steaming water) and sink made of black marble with silver inlays.
With fearful eyes you looked around for any hint that Mr Laufeyson had lied, but you couldnt spot any electrical devices apart from the lights in the ceiling.
Finally you found it to be save and started stripping off the offending clothes starting with the shoes and String; the dress would wait until you had entered the water. It was sad for the fabric, but you did not feel well otherwise.
Emerging yourself under the water, you realized the water to have the perfect temperature and once you had peeled off the once beautiful dress, you began scrubbing your skin to get rid of the ugly feeling the man left behind on your body.
Skin raw and water cold you were almost satisfied with the state of your body. You then grabbed a (huge) soft towel to dryddd and returned to Mr Laufeyson´s Bedroom where you found your most comfortable clothes laid out on the bed. After one last glance around, you quickly got dressed.
It was then that an intoxicating scent entered your nose and both your brain and stomach realized how hungry you were in reality.
Pizza? He got Pizza?
__
“Feeling better?”, Mr Laufeysond asked once you had entered the living-area.
“Yes, thank you.”, you nodded, looking at the scene in front of you:
The whole kitchen was filled with pizza-cartons of all different sizes with different pizzas in it.
WTF?!
“I did not know which one you liked, so I ordered one of every kind I have heard of.”, he explained with a sorry look in his eyes, “Eat whatever you like.”
Hesitant you searched for your favorite kind and took a bite; it tasted wonderfully and for a little moment you were able to forget why you were there.
“It is time for me to explain, right?”, the man breathed, his eyes first cast to the floor only to move to the ceiling before settling on yours, awaiting your approval.
“I am what people call a Dominant. I like being in control. But what I like and need just as much is to take care of people; that they are depending on me . You may call it me a Sugar Daddy, if you have ever heard of it.”
“I don´t understand- Does that mean, you like forcing people to follow your every order, and to have nothing? You enjoy the suffering of others, just so you can play the knight in shiny armour?”, you hissed, your fists balled in anger.
“No- and yes. Usually this arrangement is made in both sides consent. The Sugarbaby gets monthly or weekly allowance, presents or getting things payed for. In the meantime, she offers her Daddy favors like joining him to dinners, parties, holidays and other things-”
“-like sex?”, you finished his sentence in shock.
“Yes, like sex or other sexual favors. But listen, before you panic, there are borders set- not negotiable boarders .”
“NO- nonononononono. So I am a glorified whore?”, you broke with a sob.
“NO! As I said, these things are made in consent of both sides. I would and will not ask that from you, or anyone else, without being 100 percent sure it is what they want as well.”
Tears streamed down your face when you spoke again, “ Then why threatening me in the first time.”
“You would not have accepted any help if I had offered, right? It is part and job of a good Sugardaddy, or any Dominant in particular, to know what is best for his Baby or Submissive. Even if they don´t or do not want to know it.”, he continued,”After I had kicked you out Bucky and Sam asked me if I had seen you. They told me what had happened and I realized my mistake. When I med you again, I decided to act. I admit I thought you to act and turn out like the others. I tried to make you show your real side . I failed in realizing you are who you are not not pretending to be someone else. If you want: you can leave. No police and you will never see me again. I will arrange for you to move towns of you wish. But my offer stands. You will join me at functions, dinner and lunch or other things. In return you keep your allowance, your  rooms and everything you already have at the moment. No sex or any sexual favors unless you offer them on your own. I can arrange for you to work a few hours if it makes you feel better. Your own apartment. Think about it. In the meantime I leave you alone and will stay somewhere else until you have decided. Just let Pietro or one of the others know when you are finished. The leftovers will be given to people living on the streets. Let me know how you decide. Until then this apartment is yours. Just, please do not go through my things.”, the man nodded almost submissively, before leaving you alone.
With the men´s words still lingering in your mind, you ate as much as you were able to , before sending Bucky a quick ´Thank you` and retiring into your room.
You settled onto your bed, no noises around you (except the one time when Bucky or Pietro must have entered to take the leftovers away), but sleep was evading you with everything running through your mind.
In the end, you called your aunt for advice. She knew you better than you knew yourself sometimes, and she was the only one (next to your mom) you had still contact with at home.
“So, you got this offer as a PA. It requires you to move into the same house as your boss. Join him at functions and other things for  15k a month? And you don´t know if you want to, because he was an huge asshole at the beginning and you feel like selling yourself? Do I understand  that right?”, her gentle voice repeated what you had just told her over the phone.
“Yes.”
“Furthermore your asshole boyfriend left you the day before you were supposed to move in with him, and on top of that you lost your job, because someone with a gun was robbing your workplace?”
“Yes.”, you sighted, hearing it made it all sound even worse.
“One last Question: is he good looking?”
“I. I guess.”, you answered and were able to see the smirk she must have on her face that second through the phone.
“Then go for it. Put enough money aside , in case you need to quit, and enjoy it as long as it lasts. God knows you always work hard and care of others. Now care for yourself. Your Ma would say the same.”
“Hows her cancer?”
“The same. And now with your brother in Jail again- But enough of that depressing stuff.”, your aunt sighted.
“I will send you-”
“-nothing. My sister won´t accept a penny and you know that. The lot of you is just too stubborn for your own good.”
“Then at least let me give you money for me while I lived with you. Please-”
“Fine. But not more than 500 s month-”
“-a week-”
“Fine. As stubborn as the rest of us.”, she laughed ,” Love you munchkin. And stay strong in that big city of yours.”
“Love you, too Aunty. Call you once I have made a decision. And hug Ma from me.”
“Always. See you later.”
With your thoughts sorted, sleep stopped evading you and within minutes you had drifted into a deep slumber.
____
Your eyes sticky, you slumped into the kitchen, with your whole body still tired from the evening prior.
Fresh fruits and and different kinds of freshly baked goods (like bread rolls and croissants) greeted you the second you placed foot into it.
You knew Mr Laufeyson was behind this.
Shewing on a bite of bun with cheese topping , you typed a Message the owner of the Apartment and hit send.
´I made a decision. I will accept your offer, if I have your word to be allowed to change my mind at any second; without repercussions.´
It took less than a minute for him to answer: ´Of course. Pietro will bring you to my office once you are finished with your breakfast.´
You answered with a quick ,´okay. What should I wear?´
´Whatever you like and is suitable for an office.´- came his reply and your forehead almost hit the top of the table you were sitting at.
Office-friendly. Office-friendly. Let´s see if I can find anything in that closet of mine. I though with all that cloth-missing stuff in there that might turn out hard. Urg. I will need to go shopping. I hate that.
To your little surprise, did you find a pair of skinny jeans, a simple black t-shirt and a black strick-jacket.
This might work. Better than nothing I guess.
A knock sounded from the door between the floor and your room.
“(y/n), this is me, Bucky.”
“Come in.”, you called back and he did as you had told.
“How are you feeling?”, he asked at once, his voice warm but sad.
“Better, thank you. Again.”, you smiled.
“No, you should not thank me. I should apologize. If I had done my job correctly-”, he started though was interrupted by you at once.
“Stop. Just- just don´t let it happen again, okay?”, you hummed, “I am not mad with you.”
“I can do that. I am here to escort you to the boss.”
“Okay. Lead the way.”
Part 7
AN2.0 How will this turn our for the reader? And will her family make an appreance again in later chapters?
REBLOGS and comments are appreciated:)
Thank you very much.
~MaggY
Taglists:
Permanent:
@jadepc​@pacifyhxlsey​ @thankyoukarenclifford​
@thankyouforanonymity​  @punkrockhufflefluff​
@scarletraine @buckycaptspideypool  @markusstraya @graveyard-groupie @markusstrayya @randomgirlkensy @the-soulofdevil
@marshyrebelcloud
MCU:
@yknott81​    @banner-and-bucky-are-life​ @forext20​ @dyanlzbb​  @so-finster-die-nacht @emmii4​ @bitchwhytho​ @ladyofmyst​   @jilldsumner​ @momc95​ @appreciating-fanfics​
Sugar:
@bits-and-bobs-and-kawaii-stuffs @mimmie666​   @fullranchwolfoperator
@cluelessnitwhit​ @youknowitsclouds @his-paradox @purplerainharry​
@spootgaai2000 @iamsuperjenna​ @nikkipea​   @alexakeyloveloki @timelordy-fangirl2 @girrafeeeeeee
I couldnt tag a few of you… sorry.
Want to get tagged as well? Comment, Reblog or send an ask to let me know.
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Chloe
It had been a few weeks since school had started.  Chloe and Aubrey had more than doubled down their efforts to recruit new members.  They’d posted flyers in every building where they had classes, and Aubrey had even gone so far as to post flyers where neither of them had class.  Chloe had tried to talk to every female in her classes that wasn’t already in an a cappella group. She’d even tried to convince Aubrey to talk to every female - not just the ones with “bikini-ready bodies.”
She’d been having a good time with her mysterious shower duet partner as well.  She had yet to see her, and she still didn’t know her name. She couldn’t always get her to sing.  She seemed to know most pop hits, although many were only by the chorus. She didn’t join in on songs from movies most of the time.  Anything sung by Justin Bieber or any boy band was met with a sharp exclamation of “No way!” every single time. She knew every single Broadway hit Chloe sang, though.  This morning, Chloe thought she had just the right duet. She hoped the girl didn’t have any roommates and that Aubrey wouldn’t kill her for how loud it was likely to get.
Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.
Sure enough, her duet partner didn’t miss a beat.
No, you can't. Chloe: Yes, I can. Mystery Girl: No, you can't. Chloe: Yes, I can. Mystery Girl: No, you can't. Chloe: Yes, I can, Yes, I can!
Chloe was thrilled.  The song had always made Chloe laugh, and she’d had a feeling the mystery girl knew it.
They went through the whole song, and Chloe was sure she heard a laugh when the song was over.  She almost made a comment but thought better of it. Anytime she’d commented before, she’d ended up singing solo the next day.
Chloe lingered for a few extra minutes outside her front door.  She hoped that she’d catch the girl. She just wanted to put a face to the voice, maybe learn her name, and get her to join the Bellas.  Okay, so that last one might be pushing it, but it didn’t hurt to hope for the first two.
Chloe waited about as long as she could before heading to her car in time to park and get to class, never seeing her mysterious duet partner.
Beca
Beca started her shower and chuckled to herself as she heard the opening lines of “Anything You Can Do” from Annie Get Your Gun .  Whether it was the redhead or the blonde, Beca wasn’t sure.  However, she knew they’d discovered her weakness for Broadway.  Beca happily joined in, not missing a beat.
She couldn’t help but chuckle at the end.  Her grandmother had helped her discover a lot of older Broadway shows, and she loved them all.  Singing it had brought up happy memories of her grandmother, especially the brief period of time she’d spent living with her in New York when she was twelve.  She waited for her duet partner to comment, but she did not.
Once Beca was dressed and ready for school, she stood at her front door and looked out the peephole.  The redhead was just standing there. Beca wondered if this meant the redhead was her mystery duet partner.  It didn’t matter, really, because she wasn’t planning to tell the girl. She wasn’t joining the Bellas or any other a cappella group, and she didn’t want to listen to her pitch the idea again.  Besides, she was nearly positive the blonde girl hated her - all the more reason not to join.
Come on, she thought.  Just go.   Finally, she saw the girl blow out a sigh of frustration before heading down the hall.  Once she saw the door to the stairwell close behind her, Beca left.
A few minutes later, Beca sat in her car, stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.  She was mad at the redhead for making her late, and then she was mad at herself.  She really should have just sacked up and left when she needed to. Why was she avoiding the redhead?  It’s not like the girl could force Beca to join the Bellas.
By the time Beca finally arrived on campus, she’d already missed half of her Introduction to Philosophy class.  She also realized she’d skipped breakfast, so she headed to the dining hall to grab something quick before her next class.  She set down her coffee and bagel and pulled out a few papers, figuring she’d at least try and do some of the reading to catch up on what she was missing.  Just as she was finally relaxing for the first time since getting into her car that morning, her dad walked into the dining hall. He took a seat at her table.  Beca put her bagel down and folded her arms.
“Gee, Dad, why don’t you have a seat?” she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
“Funny, this doesn’t look like your ‘Intro to Philosophy’ class,” said her dad.
“I’m posing an important philosophical question: If I don’t actually go to that class, will it still suck?”
“Look, honey, college is - it’s great.  You get to create memories here. I see it every day.  You just have to give it a chance. You’ve been here - what? A month now?  Do you have any friends?”
Beca simply folded her arms.  She wasn’t sure what she’d call Jesse, and she didn’t even know her mystery shower duet partner’s name.  Even if she did, that wasn’t something she was going to tell her dad.
“You gotta get out there, Bec.  You gotta try something.”
“I got a job at the radio station.” 
“Oh, great, that place,” said Dr. Mitchell. “Yeah, it’s dark and dirty and has, like, what, those three weirdos working there?”
“Well, four, now.”
“You gotta try something new, Bec.  Join one club on campus. Like that,” he said, pointing to the flyer for the Bellas that must have fallen out when Beca pulled out the textbook she’d been studying.  “Do that. Or run in a circle. Wait, don’t do that. Those kids aren’t right. Just do something new.  And if, at the end of a year, you still don’t wanna be here, you still wanna go off to LA and be P-Diddy, well, then, you can quit college.  And I-I will help you move to LA.”
“Seriously?” asked Beca.  She couldn’t believe what her dad was saying.
“Yes, seriously, but I really need to see it, Beca.  This is college. Join in!”
He left the dining hall after that.  Beca took a moment to collect her thoughts.  She finished her bagel and looked at the flyer again.  Auditions were in two days. It was definitely worth considering.  Besides, her dad didn’t say she had to like it.
Chloe
It had been a really frustrating day for Chloe.  First, she’d gotten stuck in traffic on the way to school, causing her to arrive halfway through Russian Lit class.  She’d slipped into the back of the room, only to be completely lost as to what the professor was discussing. Her English professor assigned a lengthy term-paper, and her Statistics professor assigned a huge project.  Both would be time-consuming and due on the same day. She wondered if any of her professors realized their students had other classes, and Bellas rehearsals would be starting the day after auditions. It was the one day of the week she had an evening class, so she didn’t even leave campus until close to 9 at night.
Her first thought when she finally got home was to see if Tom was down for her absolute favorite way to relieve stress.  The two of them had dated early in their freshman year, but they’d soon learned they were really better as friends - sometimes with benefits.  They’d had a loose arrangement over the past few years. One would text the other when they needed to relieve some stress or the like, and they’d hook up.  It only happened when both were single, and Chloe was really hoping Tom was still single.
C: Had a rough day.  Care to help me de-stress? T: I’m down.  Be over in ten. C: Don’t forget your toothbrush! 😉
When Tom arrived at the apartment, Chloe immediately grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him into her bedroom.  She grabbed her Bellas scarf and tied it around her doorknob - the sign she and Aubrey had agreed upon to tell the other they had an overnight guest in their room.  Aubrey had been holed up in her room studying when Chloe got home, barely acknowledging Chloe’s greeting, making this an excellent night to have Tom help her out.
Beca
Beca headed to the radio station after classes.  She was glad she’d remembered to bring her headphones with her that day.  Her taste in music clashed big-time with that night’s DJ, so she decided she’d listen to her own music instead.  She’d been stacking CD’s for a while, listening to some of her music mash-ups when she felt someone slip the headphones off of her head.
“What the hell?!” she exclaimed, trying to take her headphones back from Jesse.
“I just wanted to know what had you bobbing your head while stacking CD’s,” said Jesse, holding them up where Beca couldn’t reach.
“Jesse, cut it out!”
“Come on.  I need to know what makes our Becky smile and bop like that.”
“You know that’s not my name.”
“Then, why haven’t you told Luke?”
“He’s never let me finish a sentence,” said Beca.
“I’ll give them back if you let me listen for just a few seconds.”
“Fine,” said Beca, rolling her eyes.
Jesse put the headphones on and Beca saw his mouth spread into a wide grin.  “This is amazing!” he exclaimed and handed back her headphones.
“You think so?” Beca asked quietly.
“Oh, yeah,” said Jesse.  “You should try and get Luke to play it.”
“Right,” said Beca.  “He can’t even use the right name.”
“Try anyway,” said Jesse.
“I guess it can’t hurt,” said Beca.
“The squeaky wheel gets the oil,” said Jesse.
“I’m not a squeaky wheel,” said Beca, rolling her eyes.
 When Beca got back to her apartment, she ate a quick dinner before slipping her headphones on and working with her mixing equipment.  She spent the whole evening perfecting what she thought was the perfect mix of “Titanium” and “500 Miles.”
Even if she couldn’t get Luke to play her music, she figured she’d better work on some different mixes anyway.  If she was moving to LA, she’d better be prepared with examples of what she could do.
She sat and thought for a bit before going to bed about her father’s offer.  She wasn’t sure what club she’d want to join. Maybe she’d run in a circle anyway, just to see her dad’s reaction.  She then remembered how strange the students at the activities fair were and agreed with her dad - those kids weren’t right.  Could she join the cycling club? No, probably not. She’d have to get her dad to get her a bike, and she didn’t think organized bike riding was something she’d enjoy.  She wasn’t a writer, so the feminist writing club with the amusing name wasn’t really an option. The Barden Review - the campus newspaper - was also not an option for that reason.  Besides, if anyone learned that her father taught comparative literature at Barden, they’d expect way too much from her.
As much as Beca didn’t want to admit it, a cappella singing with the Barden Bellas just might be her ticket to LA.
The next morning, Beca woke up with “Titanium” stuck in her head.  It had taken her a good amount of time the previous night to match it up with “500 Miles.”
She started singing before she even turned on the water in the shower.
You shout it out But I can't hear a word you say I'm talking loud not saying much I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet You shoot me down, but I get up
Just before she turned the water on she heard two voices in the bathroom - one was her usual duet partner, and the other was male.
“You said we’d try it,” said the male voice.
“I’ll get electrocuted!” exclaimed the female.
“How?” asked the male.
Beca grinned.  Get it, girl, she thought.  She continued to sing and was surprised to hear the neighbor join her.  She thought for sure the girl would be occupied by her boyfriend or whoever the guy was.
I'm bulletproof nothing to lose Fire away, fire away Ricochet, you take your aim Fire away, fire away
She continued the song, her neighbor not missing a beat.  Beca thought it was probably their best duet yet.
“You have a lovely voice!” called the male.
Beca cringed.  She’d been so wrapped up in her singing that she’d momentarily forgotten that her neighbor had a guest.
“Thanks!” she called.
She cringed even more when she could hear rhythmic moans from both voices as she was drying off.  She was glad she’d worn her noise-canceling headphones when mixing the previous night.
Chloe
Chloe woke up in Tom’s arms.  It had felt so good to have his hands on her, and it had been a while since she’d seen any action.  She kissed his bare shoulder and told him she was going to take a shower. She happily accepted his offer to join her.
She’d just turned on the water and was about to step into the shower when Tom walked in with one of her favorite toys in hand.
“Now?” asked Chloe.
“You said we’d try it,” said Tom.
“I’ll get electrocuted!” exclaimed Chloe.
“How?” 
Chloe had vaguely recalled Tom finding her vibrator when he’d reached into the drawer in the nightstand where she kept the condoms.  She’d remembered agreeing to use it with him, but she didn’t remember the shower being part of that conversation. She was about to tell him she didn’t know for sure if the vibrator was waterproof when she heard her neighbor singing none other than her favorite “lady jam.”
Chloe immediately joined her.  Tom was used to Chloe breaking into song, so he didn’t even try to interrupt, opting instead to rub his hands all over her.  She was a little surprised to hear Tom tell the neighbor she had a lovely voice. Once the neighbor had thanked him, Chloe immediately crashed her lips into his.  He reached for the vibrator, but Chloe shook her head, grabbing a condom instead.
She knew they were being especially loud this morning, but that song had made Chloe desperate for release all over again.  Luckily for her, Tom seemed very happy to help.
As they got out of the shower and dried off, Tom gave Chloe a quick kiss and told her he had to go right away.  He was already late for class.
“Okay.  Bye, Tom!”
“See ya, Chloe!”
Chloe grabbed her things and hurried out of the bathroom, knowing full well there was likely a very angry Aubrey waiting for her.
She opened the door to see her best friend, looking every bit as angry as Chloe had anticipated.  Chloe had expected Aubrey to holler at her, but her friend simply angrily stomped into the bathroom and slammed the door.  Chloe knew it was best to just let Aubrey stew in these situations. She’d probably calm down at least a little by the time Chloe got back from classes.
She glanced at the time on her phone and realized she was also running late.  She dressed quickly, did her makeup, grabbed a pack of pop tarts to eat in the car, and headed out of her apartment.  She didn’t have the time to wait up for her duet partner that morning, so she headed straight to the stairwell. She heard a door squeak open just as she was entering the stairwell.  She turned around and was shocked to see the girl she and Aubrey had met at the activities fair - the one Aubrey had deemed too “alternative.” The girl had made fun of a cappella and had told Chloe she didn’t even sing.  Well, their morning shower duets said otherwise.
“You can sing!” exclaimed Chloe the minute she caught the girl’s eye.
The other girl shrieked in response.  Chloe stood in the doorway of the stairwell, preventing the girl’s escape.
“How high does your belt go?”
“My what?!”
“The tone of your voice is so beautiful. You have to audition for the Bellas!”
“Please let me through.  I need to get to class!”
Chloe ignored the girl.  She had to get this girl to audition.
“Just consider it. One time we sang backup for Prince. His butt is so tiny, I can hold it with, like, one hand.”
“I’m going to be late!”
“You were singing ‘Titanium’ right?”
“You know David Guetta?” asked the girl.
Chloe looked at her incredulously. “What, have I been living under a rock? Yeah.  That song is my jam. My ‘diddle’ jam.”
“That’s nice,” said the girl, not meeting Chloe’s eye.
“It is! That song really builds.”  She shot the girl a wink before asking, “Can you sing it for me?”
“Why?  So you can...ummm...right here?” The girl was blushing deep red.  “No way! I’m going to be late for class again!”
“ Again? ”
The girl sighed.  “Fine. I’ve been avoiding you.”
“Why?”
“Because I didn’t know if I was singing with you or...the blonde...Audrey?”
“Aubrey.  No, you’ve been singing with me.”
“And you are…?”
“Chloe.”
“Beca.”
“So, can you sing it?”
“Chloe, I’m going to be late.”
“Well, I’m not leaving here until you sing.  And I can stand here all day .”
Beca appeared to be mulling this over for a moment before sighing and singing the chorus.
I'm bulletproof nothing to lose
Chloe joined her on the next line, harmonizing as she’d done in the shower.
Fire away, fire away Ricochet, you take your aim Fire away, fire away You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium You shoot me down but I won't fall I am titanium
“Wow,” said Beca, grinning.
“Yeah,” said Chloe.
“So?”
“What?”
“Chloe, I have to go to class.”
“Right,” said Chloe, stepping aside to let her pass.
“Bye,” Beca said quickly as she passed.
“See you at auditions!” called Chloe.
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prettywordsyouleft · 4 years
Note
my second question is a writing question. i always struggle with feeling like i'm not giving enough context when i write in short formats (like your drabbles). the thing i've challenged myself with most recently is "ficlets" that are under 1000 words, and i still struggle with those most of the time. it's possible that i just comes down to different writing styles. but i wonder if you had to "train" yourself to write drabbles or if you have advice on how to do better when writing less.
I definitely had to train myself to write less. It’s still a challenge for me (last week, I think only one CC drabble stayed under the limit ugh). Before starting this blog, I only wrote chaptered stories. Sure, I’d do a couple oneshots here and there but reality was a drabble seemed so unfathomable … why did I only need to write 200 words when I could do 2000?! But it’s amazing how writing drabbles can change and assist your writing as a whole. 
As writers, we often overwrite. So few have learned the skill of portraying a scene with precisely the right amount of words needed. I can tell you I just deleted 2 whole paragraphs right now that came before the sentence above, solely because they weren’t needed to help answer this! See! It’s easy to write more than what we need. So it’s really about taking an intentional look at what is needed for a storyline to work. 
Things that you can take out most of the time or just don’t do, as long as it doesn’t affect the flow: 
First, don’t write a complex idea for a short story. If you need more than 1-2 sentences to explain the idea, then it’s not suitable for a shorter story. Simple ideas like “A and B cleaning out the fridge together” as opposed to “A cleaned out the fridge in her apartment with her roommate B for one last time before moving out. When she finally moved out, she realised she missed B and this wasn’t the opportunity for her like she thought it would be. A approaches B because of her feelings.” Of course you could still write the latter but it’s going to need way more words than the original, more simple idea would.
He/she said/replied/commented etc after your character has spoken so long as the reader knows who is present in the conversation.
A new scene if your goal is to remain limited to a short amount of words (ie under 500) - keep it locked to that key scene only. 
Internal dialogue if it really doesn’t benefit being there. Equally a string of feelings when it could be portrayed in their actions.
Lots of description on the setting. Use those words for your character’s development instead. 
Write until you think the scene is done. Don’t focus on word count or anything until you’re done. 
Biggest advice: Don’t plan it out before starting. I know some people need outlines for everything before they write, but for short pieces, the more you plan, the more you’ll write. Get your idea and start it. 
Example to this last one: say your idea is A is in love with B but thinks B loves C. You don’t need to plan out why A thinks this in a small story. A can explain it in its own way. You don’t need to explain in detail (or at all) C’s role in B or A’s life unless it directly affects the storyline. In a drabble that is under 500 words, all you need to do is choose where the confession will come out (or equally not and why) and what B and A’s reaction to this knowledge is. If you plan out all the things and include C’s role in everything, then you’ll lose the chance to be concise on what the main target was for your story. If it’s a ficlet, then of course, there’s room for more information but I’d be more inclined to showcase what A or B does to lead up to this confession and the result and all that as opposed for more of their world. Does this make sense? 
Things I do after:
Leave it alone for at least 24hrs if I can. For CC, I tend to write so basic now that I’m used to the format and editing is easier since I don’t write many words. But if it’s not for CC, I’ll leave it to get it out of the freshly in my head zone.
Look for unneeded sentences first, then read through again looking for unneeded words. Can your sentence structure be altered to maintain it’s message but with 1-3 words less? Take out things we naturally do in longer stories, ie: each and every time, and make it concise: always / every time. You just cut it down by changing such a little thing. 
Be mindful of the flow. Sometimes removing words ruins the integrity. It’s okay if it’s a little over, but challenging yourself to write regularly with a word count makes it easier for you to know what words need to be there and what don’t. 
The more you succeed, the more you will challenge yourself. I always recommend drabbles for success. They can be used as mindless writing tasks and you’ll feel the satisfaction of finishing one. I like to think 500 is a happy medium. 300 is tough and 1000 when under a word crunch to me now feels too much and makes it easy to get carried away and end up with 1200. 400-600 is a really safe zone. You’re going to push to keep it concise so you’ll find yourself feeling you can complete a scene within this space well. It’s one of the reasons I created Challenging Words ( @challengingwords ) with Sem and we decided on 500 words being the word count if people want that as an extra challenge.
The more drabbles you write, the more your series/longer pieces will benefit from it. You’ll start to erase unnecessary words out of habit and be able to focus on all the parts that need attention. You’ll have trained yourself out of this over the top explaining we sometimes can do (not saying we all do it, but I’m sure you get me) and each part will have function and purpose to being there. 
I hope this advice helps! I wrote a lot about little stories! Let me know if you need any help structuring things. I think a beta reader or someone to bounce ideas off is equally vital, especially when it comes to challenging yourself. Good luck Xxx
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nastybuckybarnes · 5 years
Text
Distrust  -  Seven
Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader
Summary: After Bucky gets ‘taken’ on a mission gone wrong, Steve blames you for it, casting you out. HYDRA takes advantage of your vulnerable state and is quick to capture you, the team knowing nothing of anything that’s happened.
Warnings: Fluff (Rare fluffy chapter),  Mentions of Eating Disorders
Word Count: 2K (She’s short)
A/n: I’m exhausted, Emotionally dead, and a little tipsy. Enjoy.
UNEDITED Series Masterlist
~*~
Your arms heal in a few weeks, and in those few weeks you become very comfortable in your new home with your new friends.
"So, what's on the menu today?" Amara asks while plopping next to you in the cafeteria. "I convinced Laurie to get Tacos for me with June. Want one?" You offer her a soft taco, watching as she eyes it skeptically.
"What's in it?" She asks, eyes flashing up to your face. "Meat, cheese, lettuce, sauce... other stuff. I don't remember." She scrunches up her nose then looks over her shoulder at Angie, the nurse who watches her like a hawk.
"I'm sure if you take a small bite she'll be a bit more relaxed around you," you whisper, taking another bite of the taco. She sighs deeply and takes the soft taco, slowly and hesitantly bringing it up to her lips.
She takes a tiny mouse-like bite, chews it almost thirty times, then swallows.
"I hate you so much," she groans, taking another bite of it. "I know. But I'll be here when... you know... you want to get rid of it." She nods, taking a third bite then setting the taco down.
"I don't think I'll be too upset over three bites. How've the nightmares been?" You look down and swallow the food in your mouth. "Bearable. I've been taking some stuff lately."
The first time you asked for sleeping pills was the best day of your new life. It was the first night in over two years that you slept for longer than five hours. Since then you've been on and off with them, using them on rougher days and sticking through the nightmares on better days.
"That's good. Pretty soon you'll be outta here." You laugh softly, shaking your head at her. "Let's keep in mind that I haven't even talked about my issues with anyone yet. Don't go and discharge me so quickly." She giggles and raises her hands up in surrender, her eyes flashing down to the taco.
"You think you don't want it but we both know you do," you whisper sadly, wishing she was better already. "I know. But it's... so hard. The entire taco is like, 350 calories. And it's tiny." You nod, looking at the taco in question. "And if you have a 500 calorie limit, hypothetically of course, then this is fine to eat. What if I eat some of it first, and you just have the rest?" She purses her lips then nods, accepting the terms.
You take two large bites of the soft taco then give her the rest, a small smile on your face as she eats it slowly.
~*~
"Checks. Oh! (Y/n) why are you still up? Would you like anything?" June asks, a worried frown on her face when she pops her head in the doorway. 
"I... I need..." She walks into the room and sits beside you on the daybed. "Someone to talk to?" You shrug then nod. 
"I... suggest calling one of your emergency contacts. I know you've given them little updates every week, but I think you should try talking to one of them in person." A weight settles on your chest as you think of calling one of them.
"But you certainly don't have to. Now, I'll be back around shortly. I hope you get some peaceful sleep tonight." With that, she stands up and walks out of your room, leaving the door open like always.
You pace around for a few minutes, fingers lost in your hair as you hyperventilate. Eventually, you give in and grab your phone, fingers trembling as you press on the familiar icon.
The phone rings a few times before connecting, a voice you haven't heard in weeks answering.
~
Bucky's reading a book in his room when his phone rings.
He's surprised, not having anyone who would call him at this time.
Well, he might have one person.
"Hello?"
There's a hesitation on the other line before the person speaks.
"Bucky? It's (Y/n)." Relief floods him. Although he's been checking in with the doctors and nurses regularly, hearing your voice makes him feel ten times better.
"(Y/n), hi. Are you okay?" 
Another pause before you reply, "yeah... um, no. I really don’t know. Can... can you come get me? I don't want to be trapped inside tonight. You can bring me back in the morning or whenever you get tired of me. And if you don't want to then-then that's fine too. I shouldn't have called. Sorry to wake you. Bye-" "No don't hang up! I'll be there in five minutes and then we can drive around all night. I'll call the nurses and tell them. I'll be right over, okay (Y/n)?" He hears you take a few breaths in.
"Okay. Thank you, Bucky." He smiles while pulling on a pair of pants, the phone tucked between his shoulder and ear. "Anytime, Doll."
You hang up the phone and pull a hoody on, leaving your sweats and slippers on as you wait for Bucky to come pick you up.
True to his word, he takes five minutes. When he walks into your room with two nurses trailing him, you feel a strange type of relief.
"Have her back no later than eight," June says, smiling at you proudly. "I will, ma'am." His rough voice makes you shiver in a way that you haven't in years.
"You ready to go, Doll?" You nod and stand up, following him out of your room and out of the clinic.
It's quiet for a few moments, almost awkwardly so, but when you leave the clinic and are outside under the stars, you forget about that.
"Thank you for coming to get me," you whisper after a moment, not looking at him as he opens the car door for you. "Anytime, Doll." You get into the car and put your seatbelt on, staring out the window as he gets in beside you.
The start of the drive is silent, you thinking about what to say while he notices the changes in your appearance.
Your eyes were the first things he noticed. They're more vibrant and alive than when he saw you last. The dark circles underneath them are less prominent and your skin has regained some of its natural glow. You've gained some healthy weight back and look more like yourself, and your voice is more gentle and less afraid.
"I'm so sorry. About... that day." Your voice pulls him from his thoughts and he glances over at you. "You scared me really bad for a little while there. But you pulled through. Just like I knew you would."
You smile slightly then look over at him.
"How's everyone doing?" He sighs heavily then shrugs. "Good. Everyone's good. We all miss you like crazy but... you're doing much better now. Which is all any of us really care about anyway." You look away. 
"Where do you wanna go now?" You shrug, "anywhere. I just... need a break from the clinic for tonight. I called you because... I need someone safe. Someone I can trust." He feels his heart swell at the fact that you chose him.
"Well, I think I know just the place. But you've gotta promise you won't tell anyone about it, okay?" You nod, sticking your pinky out towards him. "Pinky swear." He smiles and hooks his pinky around yours.
~
The secret place is an old baseball field in the middle of nowhere. It has an amazing view of the sky and is actually quite calming.
"Bucky... Can I ask you something?" You ask while walking around the grass, eyes on the stars.
"Anything."
"Do you think I should forgive Steve? Do you think that... integrating him into my life again is something I should work on?"
He's quiet for a few minutes, thinking about this thoroughly, then huffs out a big breath of air. "Honestly, seeing the progress you've made away from him, away from us... no. I think you should focus on you and nothing else. Steve's decisions landed you in this.... 'mess' and he has to live with what he's done. If that means he’s lost you for the rest of his life, then so be it." You nod and sit down on the grass, slowly laying back until you're looking straight up at the starry sky.
"At the clinic... I have a friend," you whisper, glancing over to where Bucky stands. He smiles at you and lies down beside you, looking up at the stars.
"What's her name?" He asks, looking over at you when you look back up to the stars.
"Her name is Amara. She's turning nineteen soon. She's got these beautiful brown eyes and this curly hair. But she's so so skinny Buck. She has an eating disorder, but she's getting better."
He nods and looks up at the stars again. "What's she like?" You smile as you think of your friend. 
"She's... tiny, for starters. Around five foot four. No more than eighty pounds at most. But Bucky she's got a heart of pure gold. She's sweet and kind and compassionate. And she didn't know me before everything happened. I'm not 'an Ex-Avenger' or 'a shell of who I was' to her. To her, I'm just... me. And I really like that." Bucky finds himself staring at you again, saddened slightly but happy that you have this friend.
"That's good. I'm glad you have someone like that." You look over at him and smile, feeling light and fluffy.
Slowly, so slowly you're not sure you're actually moving, you bring your hand to his, interlacing your fingers.
He's shocked by the sudden physical touch but decides against commenting. Instead, he squeezes your hand gently and looks up at the stars with you, telling you stories every now and then.  
~
“Can we go back to the car now, Bucky? I’m tired,” you whisper, eyes hardly opening as you push yourself to sit up.
“Of course. Do you want me to take you back to the clinic?” You look up at him as he stands up then shake your head. “No. I wanna stay with you. Don’t take me back yet.” He nods and pulls you to your feet, your hands staying clasped together.
You walk back to his car in silence, you almost falling over with exhaustion.
When you sit down, you can’t help but start shivering, the car cold from having been off for so long. 
“Here, you can use my jacket as a blanket for now.” He shakes off his leather jacket and drapes it over you, surrounding you in his almond and mahogany scent.
“Thank you.” He nods and starts the car, smiling over at you as you lean your seat back. “Bucky... can you come visit me more often? Tonight was good.” 
He starts driving, sparing a quick look down to where your hand is reaching for his. “Of course. Whenever you need or want me, I’ll come. I swear. You just call or text. Hell, email me if you want to. I might not be super good with technology, but if it’s from you I’ll figure out how to answer.” You chuckle softly and Bucky basks in the sound, having missed it after all this time.
You fall asleep in the car in no time, your hand in his as he drives around aimlessly, carefully avoiding potholes in the road so that you stay sleeping peacefully.
~*~
NEXT
PERMANENT TAGS:
@smolbeanbucky @wildefire @inumorph @impalatobakerstreet @nanna022 @mummy-woves-you @m-a-t-91 @wtfholland @bookgirlunicorn @beautifulwisdom2001 @deep-sea-glitter @mrhiddles-81 @iamwarrenspeace @bitchacho25 @escapetheshackles @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul @swoonhui
MARVEL:
@fallenangelfangirl @look-to-the-stars-and-wish @maladaptive-ninja-returns @cliffordasparagus @april-14-blog @potteritis
DISTRUST:
@sthorkronstrangy @baebeepeach @phoenix-whiskey-tears @canumoveurseatup-no @marvel13princess @aplolomq @crist1216 @its-ray-bae @littledeadrottinghood @justendlesssummerfeels @whitewolfsnow @multireality @a--1--1--3 @some-random-stranger-007
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comicteaparty · 4 years
Text
July 4th-July 10th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive
The archive for the Creator Babble chat that occurred from July 4th, 2020 to July 10th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:
What was an unexpected aspect of making webcomics you didn’t realize before making one yourself?
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
How much our comic and it's story we're going to change during the years of creation was the biggest and most jarring aspect for sure. There's scripts and thumbs that were all made before we ventured out to make GJS with paths completely different from what we initially thought we would take that have completely changed how we approach not only writing but reading webcomics too. Webcomics as a medium have the biggest connection to time, whether it be production or the consumption, they have this opportunity to exist and transform in the long hours it takes to enjoy and read them. It's honestly one of the biggest advantages imho. To see a story slowly unfold, listening to ur audience reactions, peer critiques, or new inspiration can make such a drastic and intense impact on a long form work- its both jaw dropping and humbling to be apart of!(edited)
Deo101 [Millennium]
For me it was the community aspect of comics. I knew a community existed on the reader side of things (comments!), but I didn't expect the creator side to be how it is! I don't know why, but for some reason I kind of always thought that all of us were sort of throwing our comics out from the void... I guess that was me looking at comics from a reader's point of view! But as soon as I started making comics, I started meeting people who made them too... and it's been incredible!
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
@deo I never really understood what an internet community or internet friends were until I started making a webcomic
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah, I had been in (and quickly decided to not be in 0_0) gaming communities, but nothing really as wonderful as what I've found through comics. Closest I had gotten other than that was comments on social media
Shizamura 🌟 O Sarilho
Community definitely one of the big things, much like Deo pointed. I was kinda expecting to have get connections through readers, but it's much more with other creators, which is super satisfying in it's own way. Also gonna second Krispy's comment about how time affects how you see your story's past and future. A lot of things changed in the past four years that made my comic change as well and having so much time to think each individual scene allows them to be much more complex and interesting than they would when I first thought them through. Having the time really helps. This also kinda touches the topic of personal change too, which affects how I write and what feels most important to focus on and that's interesting to think about as well
eliushi [Keyspace]
How long things will take, the longer the story goes on! I started out being able to complete a page in 2h but then I found more I wanted to try on each page (colours, layout, composition etc) and even wanted to extend certain scenes. With 500 pages planned, I definitely thought I’d be farther along by now, heading into AWT’s first year anniversary in a month. That being said, I’m also enjoying the ride and it’s all thanks to the great community here and making connections with other comics folks/readers. I never expected to get comments and so each one has been a treasure to read.
Desnik
An unexpected aspect of making webcomics is how much people respond to them. I figured I'd be creating into a void but I met so many people as a result of publishing my dinosaur comic
shadowhood {SunnyxRain}
Ditto on the webcomic community. I didn't realize how far reaching it was to have a community that supports each other. And I've enjoyed meeting so many wonderful and creative people who raised each other up. Another thing I didn't expect, however, was how invested I got into my comic.(edited)
At first I was doing it mostly for fun. But the more I delved into it, the easier it was to get sucked into my story and want to draw it out. And as a result taking it a lot more seriously.
Desnik
yeah sometimes I miss my dinosaur comic even though I had some pretty good reasons for moving on. It was created out of desperation and evolved into something that made me feel good about myself
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
How much work and time it takes to keep a weekly update going with no backlog
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yeah same
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
For me, I didn't realize how much it would affect my life to make comics, and vice versa. In a weird way, I didn't know how interrelated the two were, or how easily life could interfere with my comic, or the inverse.
eliushi [Keyspace]
Making comics became a lifestyle for me
@Haruh2 (Colony Life) When I had no backlog I was updating every two weeks with 7 pages per update; so about 14h of work. But this is with a finished script. I am also told I work fast.
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
omg
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
That's soooo much, Eli!
That's at least twice as much as I do (edited)
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
For me, I didn't realize how much it would affect my life to make comics, and vice versa. In a weird way, I didn't know how interrelated the two were, or how easily life could interfere with my comic, or the inverse.
I hadn't realized how much I put myself into my comic! My friends who read it have all said that it's incredibly in my voice and reflects my opinions and worldviews Before I shared it with people I hadn't thought of it in that way at all
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
As an artist, I didn't expect how my comic production and mindset will change. Once I started comics, it brought out my ideas from thoughts to a physical form. I start to invest more time into it. Each project evolved through each chapter. How to balance script writing to a polished piece. I put alot of time and research in my works. It makes me glad to hear other creators do the same. I'm not the crazy artist who's wasting her time. One of the positive change was meeting other creators, how we give advice and receive praise.(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
The support has been amazing. It makes the work less lonely
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Fish, oh for sure! I didn't realize until recently how much my characters are all just facets of myself!
eliushi [Keyspace]
(I don’t work that quickly anymore and I’m making big changes to the format soon so it’s going to be a Transition)
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I've been in school with art students who never made comics, so when I came to CTP discord, reading comic discussions. It was comforting and fun. I enjoy the cooperation our group has, helping each other.
eliushi [Keyspace]
I like to commiserate about the unique challenges comics have
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Hahaha, yeahhhhh
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
I agree, it's different from illustrations. Different approach(edited)
eliushi [Keyspace]
I am perpetually balancing time spent on a panel vs how much time the reader will spend on it
Vs illustration: lemme make all the details
Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]
Oh I agree, each panel takes longer than it takes to read it. Hence I dislike when readers call manga creators 'lazy'
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
how much time does it take to read one of my pages?
20 seconds?(edited)
haha
e.e
wait is that emoji supposed to be someone rolling their eyes??
i jsut looked it up
i might've been using it wrong this whole time
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Pacing
It's way different than in novels, and definitely came as a shock at the start
eliushi [Keyspace]
Yeah have to play to the strength of the medium. Still imagining AWT as an animated movie written from a novel, in the format of a comic
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Haha, same kinda
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
@eliushi [Keyspace] ah haha, that makes me feel better about my update habits, but thats a good goal for me to shoot for now that im learning a new way to make long comics specifically
cAPSLOCK (Tailslide)
I completely underestimated the amount of effort that would have to go into formatting, website design and maintenance, etc. If I got to do it again, a little more research beforehand probably would’ve saved me a lot of time and hassle.
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
I really overestimated the "if you build it they will come" aspect of webcomics lol. Like, you actually have to work to advertise your comic in order for people to read it. Nobody ever got hundreds of readers just from posting their comic onto some hosting site without doing major marketing work.(edited)
dako
yeah, I feel that
I've never really been an advertising type before my comic, im learning to just get used to it
Deo101 [Millennium]
I've not really done much advertising tbh, it makes me uncomfortable
dako
it feels kinda...embarrassing? might be too harsh of a word
i dunno
Deo101 [Millennium]
its just uncomfortable idk! i feel awkward doing it
dako
yeah, same ive done it a few times on reddit but i have to force myself
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
it does feel, odd..hell most of the time it just feels like i open the door to my house and toss a bunch of paper to the wind hoping someone can see it
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah, I dont know if ive done anything other than posting updates on twitter and talking about it in groups like this
and twitter is mostly just me talkin to people who already read it...
idk talking about my work without being asked first makes me feel like im inserting myself where im not allowed
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Self promo got MUCH less intimidating for me when I started thinking of it like: "okay, so my comic is made for readers like me, people who share my tastes. That means I only need to answer one question: what can I say to get me to check out this comic? I don't need to impress anyone else. I just need to appeal to me." (since "me" is my target audience)
Deo101 [Millennium]
mhm ^^
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
But take it with a grain of salt because I'm still not really promoing
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
exactly, thats why i find it hard to tweet about it most of the time, but i get the whole if i dont care about to talk without being asked no one else will either
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah lmao mood im like what would get me to read... hmmm... probably exactly what im doing.... I'll keep it up then :)
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
yea i get excited to draw out certain parts..but wouldnt want to just tweet about all the little tidbits of the story ruining it for others
Deo101 [Millennium]
sweats
dako
i made a whole side twitter for my comic cuz talking about it on my main intimidated me too much
it is my containment chamber
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
hm may do that, just to say i did it and to get my mind away from the thought
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
yeah same
Deo101 [Millennium]
My main is just whatever I want it to be idk. Its kinda for all my comics, since my comics are all I want to talk about
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
though my main is mostly just retweeting from my side twitter lol
Deo101 [Millennium]
it removes a lot of the pressure of like what if my followers dont wanna see this??
cause they wouldnt be here if they didnt wanna see it
cause its all Ive been doing the whole time
dako
thats a good point
i had my main way before my comic so most of my mutuals/followers dont follow for that
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
yea, it can feel abit disorienting when there is no interaction one way or another on anything you tweet (also if twitter has messed up and causes your tweets to not show up)
Deo101 [Millennium]
but yeah I dont really advertise cause it just makes me so uncomfortable >.<
dako
understandable
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I'm kind of somewhere in between. I advertise my comic mostly because it is all I wanna talk about, like Deo. But I also don't think it's gotten me many readers. Most of my readers came as far as I can tell because I was making something that appealed to them. (The whole "if you build it, they will come" thing.) Although, I really don't have a big audience, I do have an audience, and I am certain most of them came from me just posting.
I think it's determined a lot by luck, and also, how big your niche's audience is to begin with (and some skill tbh).
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah like I think "gay sci fi" is a p big niche so ive got a big amount of people I could potentially reach
which makes it much easier to draw people in
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I'm particularly lucky, I guess, that fantasy/romance has a lot of readers (also more competition, but...)
Deo101 [Millennium]
yeah fantasy romance is a damn big one
Haruh2 (Colony Life)
eh i think im in an awkward void with my action/drama story (since im not doing romance drama)
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I just go with the mindset: "what makes my fantasy/romance different from the rest" and go from there.
Deo101 [Millennium]
mhm
tbh I dont think my sci fi romance is doing anything special?
but im having fun so :) I dont rlly care about that hahahha
dako
having fun the most important thing
Deo101 [Millennium]
its not my goal to make somthing mindblowing ^^ truley im just here for a good time
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I mean, LGBT+-inclusive sci-fi is pretty unique
I haven't seen a lot
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
It's clear that your characters are people, and that's special, regardless of how common/uncommon
dako
think if i didnt love my comic as much as i do id have stopped a long time ago
Deo101 [Millennium]
thats true keiiii, thank you <3
also yeah its Sad that theres not more LGBT+ sci fi cause its like youve got aliennnssssssssssssssssssss you can do whatever you waaaaaant
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I knooowww
Deo101 [Millennium]
guess it shows what ppl want or something
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
yup
Deo101 [Millennium]
off topic
so to make it back on topic
I underestimated how much people would like gay sci fi GJKLAGJLAJLKAGJSLAKGJKL
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
One thing I learned specifically with my current comic... I did not realize how much difference the reader's cultural background would make in terms of interpreting my story.
Deo101 [Millennium]
!!!!!
I actually almost mentioned you in class once tbh keiii
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Big oversight, in retrospect
!?
Deo101 [Millennium]
saying "someone I know makes a comic which they noticed, it's interpreted completely differently just depending on cultural backgrounds" kind of a thing
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
like I would not have made the comic any different, but I would have approached the... presentation differently. Like, talk about it differently
Deo101 [Millennium]
cause we were talking about how narratives affect rt
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
I guess another thing that was unexpected about making webcomics was... there are way more people with my exact tastes than I thought
Deo101 [Millennium]
and I was saying that I think the viewer's narrative affects art more than the artists narrative
I mean, the artists narrative obviously is what makes it so.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
In the eyes of the beholder
Deo101 [Millennium]
but interpretations and all that... yeah!!!
so. actually I might have offhandedly mentioned you I cant remember if I did or not
lemme check
I did! very like "second hand" offhandedly mentioning though ahaha
hope that doesnt make you uncomfortable GSKLGSJALGJLGK no one replied to me so e.e
in the class I mean
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I am super uncomfortable and offended !!!!!
j/k
Deo101 [Millennium]
hgjkghsjkagskajgdhsakgjhgjd
but... yeah idk starting out I truly just was making it cause I really love my characters a lot, the idea that other people would like them too is very unexpected :) in a good way
I also definitely didnt expect how important enviornments were e.e
didnt plan those well enough.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
that relatable feel
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I really desperately advertise my comic everywhere. I don't really know how to do marketing effectively though & I don't know if its working
eliushi [Keyspace]
I find what increased readership most consistently is still the feature aspect from the hosting sites. It’s really about finding the right readers/right readers finding you
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Same, I'm basically a rounding error away from being 100% reliant on the features for subs
sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)
I don't think my comic has ever been featured on the hosting sites. My numbers have always been low on Tapas and maybe thast why
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Yeah, features help a lot
I've been featured on Webtoon, but not Tapas, and you can really see the difference in readership there
Deo101 [Millennium]
Ive been featured on both, uhh in a couple of diff places, if you wanted a breakdown of how many readers i got from the diff spots and stuff ever just lmk im happy to share
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I've been featured on both. It certainly got people to check it out and even sub, but retaining those people (even if they've subbed!!!) is a different story. I think my story is just not the right type for the platforms, but eh, even if 99% of the platform users aren't into the kinda thing I'm making, 1% increase is still an increase.
Which is another thing I learned over the course of running this comic, specifically (since the internet has changed so much after my first two attempts). Just because the majority of your subs don't actually read the comic, doesn't mean your work sucks. Today's internet caters to casual users, and there's a bajillion factors affecting who's actually reading your stuff.
dako
i agree
my comic has never been featured on either, and webtoons doesnt have a guideline on what they pick but tapas does and my comic doesnt really meet their featuring requirements so i dont think either site ever will feature mine haha
so i gotta advertise on reddit and use twitter tags a lot
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Don't go too crazy with twitter tags; they can make people zone out and not look at your tweet.
dako
i try to use 5 at the most, i know too many is unpleasant to look at haha
Jib {WIP haha}
Oh huh, my rule of thumb is to use 1-2 on twitter and as many as I can on Insta but I’m no expert lol
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Yeah, IG seems to be where you want all the tags XD
varethane
Webtoon's algorithms are like turning a hose on and off lol
The difference between views and sub growth during periods of being featured vs not is stark(edited)
carcarchu
i've never been featured by webtoons but i've seen series grow from 100 followers to 10k overnight
not an exaggeration
varethane
I put my new comic on webtoon in november 2019, and in 1 month I crawled up to.... maybe 50 subs?(granted I only put up one episode and then paused for a bit)
Then in December I started updating it weekly and got placed in the new and hot section of the app
And bam, 6k subs
It last 2 weeks and then the section updated and all growth stopped, and subs went down by 10 or so over the next week
Krispy §[Ghost Junk Sickness]§
(Omg featured is like the new Daily Deviation goals from DA way back in the day!)
varethane
Until it got another feature on a different part of the website and went up another 2k. It was like playing with the handle on a faucet lol
dako
I got some pretty good growth during canvas week, but beyond that not really
I get 1-2 subs after an update if I'm lucky
varethane
I feel like their algorithms are very reliant on the regular rotation of features that staff have to do manuallt
Outside of that, discoverability is quite weak
Mostly because of the volume of comics on there
boogeymadam
same boat as vare. the only thing i know about webtoons features is they have stated a couple times one of their recquirements is consistant updating, so if u skip a week that disqualifies u for a lil while i imagine
varethane
I wonder what they count as consistent. I was doing every 2 weeks for awhile, but this month I'm gonna try weekly to see if it helps me earn more $$ from ads :U
dako
I wish there was more incentive for readers to check out the new section on webtoons and tapas
carcarchu
i have found some amazing gems in the new section
i swear i've seen stuff in featured that were not at all updated consistently
dako
I have too, there's a ton of good comics that get overlooked because they're not in the front page
some featured comics havent updated in months sometimes
varethane
I definitely would not have considered myself consistent at the time of the first feature, considering there was a gap of a month between episode 1 and 2 lpl
carcarchu
the consistently updating thing is more of a recommendation than a requirement i feel?(edited)
boogeymadam
ooohh good to know!!
varethane
I'm sure it cant be a hard rule, especially for comics that have just launched
boogeymadam
im just going off their canvas qna's from last year
dako
if it's actually a hard rule for staff to feature comics that regularly update they break that rule a lot
i also heard a bot picks up comics too
carcarchu
well i at least think the staff or bots or whatever at webtoons are doing a better job with features than tapas is
tapas is always pushing their premium comics way more than their indie stuff
boogeymadam
tapas needs to bring new comics onto the frontpage more often than it does, yeah
dako
yeah I agree
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I mean, I get why they put premium on the front page. But I feel more variety would help them because it's more interesting for the readers?
dako
I can't tell whats premium or not with tapas sometimes
boogeymadam
i do like that they've been asking stuff like this in the forums tho
carcarchu
more distinction would be helpful to me too dako
i don't think its as clear as it could be
dako
yeah, webtoons at least it's clear what is and what isnt featured or canvas
Jib {WIP haha}
Huh, anyone remember that really popular writing podcast? I forgot the name
Or have any recommendations I guess
Moral_Gutpunch
Terrible writing advice? It's sarcastic
snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)
is this related to the topic?
Moral_Gutpunch
It's a podcast about writing, so I'm going to say yes.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
I think snuffysam meant the weekly topic for the channel
Moral_Gutpunch
Oh
Just for this channel, no. I'm too new to know that.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Please check #rules
Moral_Gutpunch
Sound more like someone forgot context than the rules
That's why I'm hardly here. I don't know stuff people who've been here for a long time know like podcasts or older comics(edited)
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Basically each of the channels under "CTP Activities" on this server has its own topic of the week.
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
It's not a matter of being here for a long time or not. This channel is used solely for discussing the weekly topics, and such information can be found in #rules
Moral_Gutpunch
Kudos then. I came for creator babble only.
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
For general webcomic creation-related advice (either seeking or giving) and such, #shop_talk usually is the place!
creator_babble is for answering the topic of the week
It's not actually for generalized "creator babble" despite the name.
dako
looks like they left
Jib {WIP haha}
Oh my bad, it’s been a while since I read the rules, I brought up the new subject
keii’ii (Heart of Keol)
Happens!
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
No problem, we were just reminding you all :)
Jib {WIP haha}
Ty for that then haha
dako
I think one unexpected thing for me is that no one tells you how crazy the highs and lows can be
well I guess people do but you really don't know until the highs and lows happen to you if that makes sense
Cronaj ~{Whispers of the Past}~
Oh God, that's so true
Burnout is way more dreadful than I could ever guess prior to experiencing it
Feather J. Fern
One unexpected thing for me was how many people I would meet because of my comic. It surprised me greatly that I found so many cool people through the comic community and made the friends I have made now. Love you all
rajmews
The unexpected thing for me was just how much you have to just...predict...what the market will want to read. Like even if you research a whole lot, and you draw really well, and have been doing art professionally, you can still strike out. It's a humbling experience, but being able to just let go of poorly received pages and move on and try things differently is a lot of the battle for doing a webcomic. It teaches you how to fail gracefully because...it's all a process of learning your readers better. Even if they're few at first.
LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)
My major unexpected thing was how much my initial ideas change as I work through a page. Everything from the expressions, dialogue, and layout can change as I look at it and 'solve' it more closely than I did in thumbnails. There are pages I look back on and realize they are ENTIRELY different than what I had first sketched. And they're better for it. Allowing myself the freedom to edit during the artwork... it's created some majorly awesome opportunities.
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yes!!!!! Me too!!!
It's exciting thoufh
Eightfish (Puppeteer)
Absolutely same
Could plan something out meticulously but then change it in the last 2 secs before uploading
Deo101 [Millennium]
Yup... I don't thumbnail much ahead of where I'm at cause of this(edited)
I thumbnail a scene at a time, and then usually I end up changing stuff halfway through ahahfjjdkskdkss
varethane
Same hat, haha. I often make changes at every stage-- even the thumbnails will often depart from the script. If anything, I wish I made even more changes-- I feel like my page layouts tend to be pretty standard, I do a lot of pages with the 3 rows of 2 panels each, and I want to break out of that more. But... well, that's a work in progress.
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