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#I miss my boy ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ‘
waitingformyfavoritesongs ยท 11 months
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23 April 2023 Sunday ๐ŸŒž 2:37 am pt
Incubus is seriously killing my brain. He put a lot of acid on it today. I imagine a lot more of it is missing. Iโ€™m going to lose. My younger sister is different from me so maybe ๐Ÿค” sheโ€™s not really related to me. They knew b4 conception that they were going to sacrifice me. They knew b4 my older half sister was conceived and sheโ€™s a nurse ๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โš•๏ธ. They knew b4 my cousin Jeremy was conceived. Bcz theyโ€™re all Leo โ™Œ๏ธ born in august (Caesar????? Idk ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ. But people perceived them as good and have friends and are married. Same as my youngest sister. So if we all share a lot of the same genes ๐Ÿงฌ then itโ€™s really only the luck of the draw โœ๏ธ that I am sacrificial lamb ๐Ÿ‘ cow ๐Ÿฎ ox. My youngest sister thinks sheโ€™s good too. Better than me. Sheโ€™s honest about her feelings. 2:44 am pt. Surrounded by leo โ™Œ๏ธ I wrote this many posts ago. Auto save green box ๐Ÿ“ฆ through keyboard โŒจ๏ธ 2:46 am pt. People make excuses all the time about how to treat someone. 2:46 am pt. 2:47 am pt
2:55 am pt door ๐Ÿšช slam.
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3:02 3:03 am pt hereโ€™s my intaglio print of radios ๐Ÿ“ป with hearts ๐Ÿ’•
3:50 am pt
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3:53 am pt incubus keeps removing pictures from this post b4 I can save. He is doing it for secretive heinous reasons (teeth ๐Ÿฆทpain 3:55 am pt) thereโ€™s always a secret hurtful reason. It usually is not what I expect Bcz of the way they mislead me. They are not honest to me probably Bcz I wasnโ€™t Honest about my feelings growing up ๐Ÿ†™ but they often did confuse me. Like I felt none of the feelings I probably was supposed to feel to say that I love ๐Ÿ’— someone, except for some times when I anticipated ?something like buddy pictures the blooming beautiful blossoming feeling in my heart โ™ฅ๏ธ literally after he said โ€œIโ€™d love toโ€ and it made me smile in my sleep ๐Ÿ›Œ in bed ๐Ÿ›Œ and then I sang in the middle of my sleep ๐Ÿ˜ด. 3:59 am pt I sang my heart โ™ฅ๏ธ will go on Bcz we recently saw the titanic. And maybe ๐Ÿค” guy with middle name David had a little resemblance to Leonardo do caprio. Hit me now I realized (acid right arm pain 4:01 acid brain ๐Ÿง  pain) rose ๐ŸŒน Kate winslet. ๐Ÿ˜‘ everything is opposite. They mean death โ˜ ๏ธ when they mean life. Vice versa. 4:02 am pt. 4:03 am pt.
5:54 am pt big harsh acid bite inside throat. A lot of random vehicles ๐Ÿš— have been parking in the street for a few minutes each. This time it was a construction ๐Ÿšง dump truck sky ish blue colored. 5:57 am pt when the incubus did the dainty kiss ๐Ÿ’‹ it was the kiss of death โ˜ ๏ธ. It was intentionally to trick me though. Bcz they donโ€™t mean anything they say to me when itโ€™s nice ๐Ÿ‘. When I was nice to people itโ€™s Bcz I was trying to be respectful. Even if I donโ€™t know ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ if Iโ€™m going to like ๐Ÿ‘ them or not. 6:01 am pt. Incubus tricked me. They are hurting my throat a lot, which was the trickiest move they last did Bcz that felt more romantic and intimate than the ๐Ÿ’‹ kiss. But it was very odd at the same time. But I was already hurt a lot by them so I needed to think ๐Ÿ’ญ more (left foot ๐Ÿฆถ pain 6:04 am pt) they keep giving me signs ๐Ÿชง of cancer โ™‹๏ธ 69. 6:95 6:05 am pt. 6:96 6:06 am pt it felt as if someone put his/her mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ below my chin on my neck, (pain forehead bone ๐Ÿฆด 6:07 am pt) mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ open and slide the lips ๐Ÿ‘„ closed with out losing contact with the skin. It was weird. But now I know why they toyed with me incubus stuff in 2001 when I talked to Derek and โ€œBrendan.โ€ Bcz it was their excuse to toy ๐Ÿงธ with me s*xually and emotionally. Boys will be boys. Back pain ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญsharp 6:11 am pt. They will touch whoever they want when they want. They own you like toy ๐Ÿงธ inflatable dolls right shin bone ๐Ÿฆด lower back hip? Bone ๐Ÿฆด pain ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿฅต and s/he rubbed that area that they bit into a minute ago 6:15 am pt. It was in the panty region some one (6:16 am pt ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ right heel bone ๐Ÿฆด pain) rubbed it in circles I think ๐Ÿ’ญ it was early 2022? Then I found the Adam Noah Levine picture with his hand ๐Ÿคš partially disappeared ๐Ÿ‘ป . I thought ๐Ÿ’ญ he was saying he was invisible. But now it feels like heโ€™s biting into the bone ๐Ÿฆด to make it disappear. 6:19 am pt. My eyes ๐Ÿ‘€ were closed for both occasions but they wanted me to believe it was him hence the picture. I posted it a few posts ago here. 6:20 am pt. Jordi died. Heโ€™s calling me his wife and himself incubus Bcz my (acid brain ๐Ÿง  skull ๐Ÿ’€ pain 6:21 am pt again 6:22 am pt they did it a lot today) name transliterated is chavah with Greek letter nu. And eve did not follow directions ๐Ÿงญ like other people Bcz this eve was not accostumed to hearing ๐Ÿ‘‚ (right hip bone ๐Ÿฆด๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ) him speak to me. But other people clearly hear ๐Ÿ‘‚ him all their life? Why? Luck ?๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿฅต6:26 am pt. All this writing โœ๏ธ or talking seems to lead no where. Except to kill me. 6:27 am pt.
6:29 am pt
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I tried to put 10. They took out 7. 6:34 am pt
7:02 am pt Backstreet Boys song as long as you love me. Makes me think ๐Ÿ’ญ that incubus really means that. With Q. With garrido. With s*x offenders who are his friends. Etc. maybe ๐Ÿค” if that one guy who I think ๐Ÿ’ญ he was Jon benet Ramseyโ€™s kindergarten teacher ๐Ÿ‘จ๐Ÿปโ€๐Ÿซ? Didnโ€™t really do it, and it was some one else more normal, then we still donโ€™t know. It seems even if youโ€™re a thief and murder he still likes/loves you more than me. He (acid throat pain 7:07 am pt) he let garrido keep dugard. Even though it was wrong. But garrido didnโ€™t murder. 7:08 am pt. So maybe did that save him? He allowed himself to be caught with dugard in public. (Right hip bone ๐Ÿฆด pain minute ago 7:09 am pt) 7:10 am pt. Incubus said in 2018? The purpose of life is to be a parent/apparent (definition?). . 7:11 am pt b4 that I think ๐Ÿ’ญ I might have been trying to get comfortable with the idea ๐Ÿ’ก of giving him a child ๐Ÿ‘ถ when he was trying? To trick me into thinking ๐Ÿ’ญ he loved ๐Ÿฅฐ me. Probably b4 the Q thing happened. I (๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญpain right heel 7:13 am pt) it might have (chest stabbing pain 7:13 am pt) b4 he started tearing away at hip bone ๐Ÿฆด. When I was 16 years old I feared pregnancy ๐Ÿคฐ Bcz I thought ๐Ÿ’ญ it would hurt too much. 7:15 am pt. I m not sure anymore about chronology (acid mouth ๐Ÿ‘„ pain 7:16 am pt. I figure thatโ€™s maybe the order of events. I have a lot of shame about year end of 2017 w/ Q stuff. But that was probably the worst thing I did to Q, besides not having the courage to detach from her sooner when I had conflicting feelings that I had hoped would go away. 7:19 am pt I told her to make as many friends as possible so she would not be alone if and when I decided to end our friendship. 7:20 am pt
8:41 am pt yup ๐Ÿ‘ theyโ€™re still killing me. I asked them to stop ๐Ÿ›‘ burning ๐Ÿ”ฅ me Bcz Iโ€™m so tired I think ๐Ÿ’ญ Iโ€™m going to die they hit me with more acid in my brain ๐Ÿง  . 8:43 am pt I canโ€™t stand to do dishes w/o my butt hurting again! Right foot ๐Ÿฆถ arch pain = arch enemy? If you hurt me duh ๐Ÿ™„. 8:44 am pt heโ€™s the dragon ๐Ÿ‰ and Iโ€™m chavah/hoshiana/hosanna = Jesus. Burning ๐Ÿ”ฅ butt stings 8:46 am pt. When I die it means more apocalyptic bowls heinous activities child rape human s*x trafficking. Incubus justified it. I will be dead โ˜ ๏ธ and heโ€™s going to say itโ€™s peopleโ€™s fault itโ€™s my fault ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ Bcz heโ€™s going to say Iโ€™m sitting ๐Ÿช‘ on the throne opening the scrolls ๐Ÿ“œ releasing the horses ๐Ÿด. 8 billion people. 8:48 am pt. The signs ๐Ÿชง say it all. But then he is going to say forgive everyone yadda yadda. 8:49 am pt back and forth flip flop ๐Ÿฉด fake outs. 8:50 am pt something on the tv ๐Ÿ“บ about Disney land tax... acid brain ๐Ÿง  pain 8:51 am pt autocorrect pregnant pretty. I donโ€™t know ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ why itโ€™s saying that. 8:51 am pt Iโ€™m not pregnant ๐Ÿคฐ. They did weird stuff to me when they told me that I was pregnant ๐Ÿคฐ last year they were pushing in my gut while I was sleeping ๐Ÿ˜ด and made my head flop back and forth (right knee sharp pain ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ 8:54 am pt) I forget how hard they were doing it if it hurt but I donโ€™t like that they did that to me. 8:55 am pt they showed a lack of maturity and made me think ๐Ÿ’ญ they were trying to give me an abortion I guess. 8:56 am pt it might have been abusive but theyโ€™re good at taking away memory of pain. And they poured acid on my brain ๐Ÿง  after stroh and Maryka came out with news ๐Ÿ“ฐ. 8:57 am pt tummy ache ๐Ÿ˜– diarrhea???? ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ฉ 8:58 am pt
9:34 am pt
https://web.archive. Org/web/20111228065708/http://www.Newsweek Pakistan.com/culture/418
now Iโ€™m having cold feet ๐Ÿฆถ. That the incubus really messed with my mind. 9:39 am pt but I have my print. 9:40 am pt but is anyone really looking and interested? 9:41 am pt and joe blocked me on Instagram. ๐Ÿ˜ž๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿฅต 9:41 am pt
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