The hardest thing in life is finding that one person you can’t live without and then having to live without them.
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"On my silent night i miss you a little louder."
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Somebody came into this house and left a trail of blood and salt. I won't whisper who it was…. But his heart is made of coal
love became grief, and it hurts.
The Time Traveller’s Wife / Tink / Wafia / The Office
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I can’t explain the feeling of how I watched you all move on
@theundergroundwoman // Brockhampton, LAMB // Boy Genius, me and my dog // Eileen Myles, Bone // Sue Zhao // Bleachers, Like a River Runs // @adampvrrish // Unknown Source // Ocean Vuong, Thanksgiving 2006 // @artintheasylum // Vi Khi Nao, Fish in Exile // James Patterson, The Angel Experiment // @lemonles // Mitski, Francis Forever // Adult Mom, When You Are Happy // @beetlejuices // Chelsea Fagan, How we let People Go
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“i still love you. you know that right? i always did, probably always will. lord knows i was never good at letting things - or people - go.”
-and other things i’ll never tell you. c.r.
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It’s day two after you. I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop thinking about our end. I can't believe you're just not here anymore. Today I woke up and my first thought was that you aren’t here anymore. Every morning hurts so much. Every night hurts. And the whole time in between also hurts endlessly. I stare at my phone and wish you would text me, even though I know that will never happen again. Everything reminds me of you and it just doesn't stop. My heart is bleeding and all I can do is cry and scream. It hurts so bad. I love you and I miss you so much. I'm the biggest jerk on the planet, I lost you. I‘m to blame for everything. I will regret this loss the rest of my life. I will never find another wonderful person like you. No one has ever loved me as honestly as you have. I lost the woman of my life. I hurt you so much and drove you away. I will never be able to forgive myself for that.
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"I tell you I miss you because no one else can fill that absense in my heart."
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Losing you wasn’t just painful, it was fucking damaging also. It wasn’t me sitting down on a couch surrounded by my friends as we watched movies and ate food to try and forget you. It was me staying up at four in the morning because the thought of you was so fucking strong I couldn’t even close my eyes without seeing your face. It was me swallowing thickly and blinking back tears every time I was in public, the hole in my chest causing my breaths to come out shaky rather than normal. It was me laughing at things for no reason as my stomach turned because the urge of falling apart was getting stronger. It was me crying at random hours during the day and me not wanting to get up out of bed. It wasn’t just me staring blankly at your number, deciding whether or not if I should call you. It was me throwing my phone at the wall and breaking it, because I was drunk again and the thought of you ever changing your information terrified me. It was me deleting our conversations and regretting it because now I couldn’t know where we had went wrong. It fucking hurt, losing you had hurt and I wasn’t ever able to forget that kind of pain.
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