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#I miss you too yes I've never met you but I still do!
coldasyou · 10 days ago
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Taylor Swift wins Most Popular International Artist award at 2021 ARIAs
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five-rivers · 4 months ago
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Prompt: People now know that Danny Fenton is a ghost/half-ghost, but not that he’s Phantom. People assume that Danny is a fairly weak ghost. People are about to be proven very, very wrong.
"So," asked Mikey, "have you ever been to the Ghost Zone?"
"We've all been to the Ghost Zone," said Danny, raising an eyebrow. "The whole town was sucked in, remember?"
"That doesn't count," said Mikey. "We stayed in town the whole time. We didn't go anywhere."
Danny sighed and put down his sandwich. This was going to be another Q&A session. "Yes, I've been to the Ghost Zone."
"Is it scary there?" asked Star, leaning in.
Danny leaned back, and Sam and Tucker nudged him with their elbows, a silent promise to back him up if he wanted to run for it. He'd been outed as a half-ghost a week ago, thanks to one of his parents' inventions, not long enough for the novelty to wear off. He wasn't, quite, popular, but by some strange alchemy of social pressures and the local fascination with ghosts, he wasn't a complete outcast anymore, either.
"I mean, it is full of ghosts and there are some dangerous spots, but... Not really. It can actually be calming to float there."
"You can float?" asked Mikey, eagerly.
"Yes...?" said Danny.
"Do you have any friends there?" asked Star.
"Yeah!" said Danny, distracted from Mikey apparently not knowing he could fly. "A bunch! Most of the ghosts that come here are the really aggressive ones who are looking for a fight. But most ghosts in the GZ just want to be left alone to do their own thing, really, just like humans."
"What are they like?" asked Star. "Have you met any cool people?"
"Hah!" shouted Dash, who was passing by. "Fenton couldn't meet cool people if it killed him!"
"Wow," drawled Danny, resting his cheek on his fist. "What does that say about you, I wonder?"
"Huh?"
"Never change, Dash?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
The bell rang. Danny sighed. Time for class, he supposed. He shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth.
"That's gross, Danny," said Sam.
Danny shrugged in response, mouth too full to properly respond. They walked out into the courtyard.
Then Danny's ghost sense went off, an interesting sensation with a full mouth. He swallowed.
"Great," he said. "Hey, everyone! There's about to be a ghost attack! Or, at least, a ghost will be here. Soon."
"Wait, is that how you always run off right before there's a ghost attack?" asked Mikey.
"I'm not exactly running off-"
"Alright, everyone evacuate!" said Mr. Lancer, who had been the lunch monitor today. "You know your plans! And you can come with us for once, Mr. Fenton."
"But I've got to fight the ghost?" said Danny gesturing.
"I know you have a few special abilities from your condition, but this really isn't the time," said Mr. Lancer.
Danny stared as other students ran from the courtyard. "Okay, what? I feel like we're missing something here. A few powers?"
"Today will be the day, whelp!"
Shaking off the strangeness, Danny turned to his enemy. And transformed. Because why not? Everyone knew he was half-ghost, now.
.
"Are you seriously telling me that no one knew I was Phantom? It's been a week."
"We know," said Principal Ishiyama, tiredly.
"And you're telling me the school was okay with me being half-ghost, but they're drawing the line at me being Phantom."
"Well, we obviously had a very different conception of what half-ghost meant," said Principal Ishiyama, rubbing her temples, "and you aren't expelled or suspended or anything. Just. We feel like it would be better for you to go home early today. For us all to... process. Besides, your... life? Your life was threatened by a dangerous ghost today."
"He does that once a week," said Danny, unamused.
"Still. You can come back on Monday. Please."
The office door slammed open, revealing Jack and Maddie.
"YOU'RE PHANTOM?"
"How did you guys also miss that?"
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of-foolish-and-wise · 3 months ago
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a uni survival guide: tips from a phd
if there's one thing i know about, it's college. i've done it, i've taught it, i've lived and breathed it. these tips are for first years in particular, but honestly for everybody. i think it's so important for people to have balanced lives in these years -- academics are not everything. you know what didn't help me in the real world when i was afraid i wouldn't live through it? my fancy college note-taking format. you know what did help me? the friends i made there who i knew would get on a plane and fly across the country in a matter of hours if i told them i needed them.
academic
- figure out where class is held ahead of time: don't be that kid who's late on day one, i beg of you
- use the writing center: especially for basic grammatical editing, which a lot of professors don't have time to mark on papers
- speak up in class: talking through ideas helps you work through them, and asking questions about something you don't understand can open up great lines of conversation
- find a regular schedule that works for you and stick to it: my college schedule was morning free time, class, lunch, class, practice, homework. that consistency was a life-saver
- keep a planner: it's so important to have a central place to track deadlines, assignments, and engagements
- annotate your reading: when you're stressing about a paper topic, being able to go back to what you've highlighted and written in the margins is a life-saver
- color-code your coursework: i use the same color highlighter, pen, and notebook for any given class. it's super helpful
- if you can't focus while studying with friends, don't: i reserved group studying for days when i didn't have important work because i can't be in a room with other people without talking to them. if your school has one, the quiet floor of the library is your best friend
- treat yourself to a "fun" class: art was always my place to just sit back and chill, a way to end the night all zen in the darkroom instead of conjugating russian verbs in a fluorescent-lit cinderblock prison. for you, it could be gym, it could be pottery, it could be some random course about, like, the history of cooking or something -- explore!
- profs are people too: don't be too nervous around them. also, know that if you're struggling -- even b/c of something in your personal life -- you can admit it, and they'll almost always understand why you missed a deadline or bombed a test
- go to office hours: it's the only way to get to know professors in big courses, and it's so helpful for both your grades and learning how to navigate relationships with authority figures
social
- don't let academia keep you from your friends: it's a case-by-case basis, but sometimes it's okay to let the reading slide and spend time with friends. i graduated seven years ago and my college group text still talks every day. that's so much more important to me than the fact that i never finished brideshead revisited
- joining a club is one of the best ways to make friends: i played ultimate frisbee through college and it was the source of so many lasting relationships, as well as the way i met all my local friends when i was abroad
- say yes to things you don't know if you'll like: you'll surprise yourself. me? turns out i love drinking games. and theme parties. and skinny dipping. and rock climbing
- don't be that person who looks down on their peers for partying: honestly? that person kind of sucks. you don't have to party if you don't want to, but actually, a lot of those people are super nice and also good at school -- don't just write them off!
- show up for your friends: go to their games, their concerts, their art shows, their standup nights. show them that what matters to them matters to you, too
- set aside a night to do a group activity with others: whether your vibe is wednesday night trivia, a weekly "terrible movie" showing, or a get-high-and-watch-nature-documentaries-type thing, these are great ways to liven up the week and de-stress
- this is a great time to figure out who from high school really matters to you: you don't have to force relationships that were built mostly on convenience if there are friends at uni with whom you click more. people you became friends with purely based on the coincidence of where your parents lived do not have to be your forever friends. they can be! but they don't have to be
personal
- don't expect too much of yourself: a 4.0 is not the end-all, be-all. if your family or somebody tells you it is, tell them to call me, and i will personally talk some sense into them
- take advantage of university support services: mental health counseling, free yoga classes, multi-cultural societies, etc
- drink water: please, please don't get kidney stones in the middle of the semester, says the girl who got kidney stones in the middle of the semester
- let yourself take breaks: if you need to lie to a professor and say you're sick when really you're just feeling down and you need to sit in bed and watch a movie, that's totally valid
- don't freak about individual assignments: my students come to me freaking over a B+ and i tell them, honey, no job interviewer is ever going to ask you about your second paper from communications 101. i wish i'd known that
- go see speakers if there's someone interesting coming to campus: these talks are always cooler than you expect. i'll never get over the fact that i didn't go see anita hill when she came to my undergrad
- do your laundry on the same night every week: i can't explain why this is so helpful but it really is
- keep up on the news and the memes: read the school paper, the school blog, the memes page -- college politics and inside jokes are fun and convoluted and fascinating
- set the groundwork for long-term self-care: all of the above is really just to say -- university isn't just for learning about the french revolution, it's also about learning how to balance, how to handle failure, how to ask for help, how to make a salad that doesn't totally suck, etc
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palimpsessed · 4 months ago
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Hey. You post a lot of great stuff about Carry On. Can you talk about the biting in AWTWB. The Baz/Simon scenes.Trying to wrap my head around it to understand why Simon did that. Why he bites Baz and keeps biting. Bites his fangs through his cheek. Is it because Simon wants to be bitten? That he wants Baz so much and Baz can't be harmed? I'm really trying to understand it but . . . what do you think?
Anon, thank you for this ask, and also for liking whatever I'm doing on my blog.
Can I talk about the biting? You bet I can!
Why does Simon bite Baz? Is it because he wants to be bitten? In a word, yes! But of course, there's a lot more to it than that. And this went off in another direction than I thought it would, so I hope you can stick with me on this journey! Under the cut because it’s a bit long.
There is a motif running throughout the trilogy of love being a consuming force. So much of Simon and Baz's identities are tied up in hunger very early on: Baz, as a vampire, constantly craving blood; Simon, as the Humdrum, constantly sucking up magic; both of them starved of love and intimacy. There's also a lot of fire imagery, going all the way back to when they first met, and fire is another consuming force.
Simon and Baz are obsessed with each other. The only thing they think about is each other. ("Trying not to think about you…S'like trying not to think about an elephant that's standing on my chest.") They are consumed and they want to consume, and, at least in Simon's case, they want to be consumed.
In WS, Simon reflects on misunderstanding his feelings for Baz prior to eighth year, and the way he does it has always stuck out to me: "I thought about him all the time. I missed him so much in the summer. (I thought I was just lonely. I thought I was hungry. I thought I was bored.)" The second item on that list is what catches my attention. Simon missed Baz and he thought he was hungry. I think it says a lot about how Simon's love for Baz feels if he mistakes it for actual hunger.
In the biting scene you mentioned, Simon says to Baz: "If it were me, if I were you…I'd drain you fuckin' dry, Baz, and it still wouldn't be enough." That's intense. And it's absolutely Simon. We know how much hunger he's capable of; his hunger was so potent, it became a whole other being! I've long maintained that his hunger for magic is a metaphor for his hunger for love. Because Simon is so full of love, and just utterly bereft of people to give it to, and once he has people to love, he doesn't know how to do it without also hurting them. He's never had good relationship modeling. (He thinks Baz should know he loves him because of how many things he's killed for him.—He thinks about teaching Baz how to break someone's neck like it's a fun couples' activity.—He gets turned on by killing things and watching Baz kill, too.—Date night is helping Baz hunt down rats.) Simon is a mess. He wants to love so badly, but he just doesn't know how to do it. ("Is this what people do?")
Simon loves Baz so much, he can't fathom ever getting enough of him. Ever being able to consume enough of him. He can't stop biting and smelling and grabbing because he wants more, more, more. He fits his teeth over Baz's old scars because he needs to claim him—make his own mark on Baz, possess him.
Part of this, as you said, is the fact that Baz is a vampire. Baz can take the roughness (which is not to say that he should just because he can). Simon's fixation on Baz's vampirism, which used to play out as paranoia, has changed into a desire to be bitten. Simon is thinking about Baz's vampirism, thinking about draining Baz dry if he were the vampire, and Baz, the human.
The other part of this is that Simon is unfettered, but really only in the aggressive, physical sense. He's long hidden his desires behind aggression without realizing that's what he was doing. (In CO: "I just want to run him down and knock him over and figure it all out." In AWTWB: "I wanted to jump on you, I didn't really think past that.") He doesn't know how to be unfettered in the vulnerable, emotional sense, and that's what keeps him from being able to be intimate with Baz. ("I don't know how, Baz…To get enough.")
Simon desperately wants to have sex with Baz. Which is what he's trying to do in the biting scene, but all of his desires are warring for control, and he can't sort out what he wants, and what he should be doing in that moment, with Baz.
What this is all leading me to may be a bit off topic, but I think it's all tied up in Simon's head.
Simon doesn't know how to be gentle.
His hunger and his desire for Baz have never been gentle. It's aggression, it's violence, it's possession; it's a forest fire, it's not a hidden waterfall.
Simon has never learned how to be at peace. In a recent interview with Vanity Fair, Rainbow said she made Simon "fight of flight"—literally, he has wings! There's a reason that Simon couldn't handle the inaction at the beginning of CO and before the events of WS. There's a reason that Penelope thought that they were "being lulled" because there was no war actively being waged. There's a reason Penelope tells us in WS: "Lesson learned: Relaxation is the most insidious humdrum." These are characters who are so traumatized by childhoods being foot soldiers in a war waged by the adults they trusted, they don't know how to live without fighting! They don't know how to live in peace.
We all have "I can touch you less gently, but I won't love you less kindly" burned into our eyeballs by now, but let's move earlier in that conversation to what sparks this: "What if I asked you to be less kind to me?" —What if I asked you to be less kind to me?— Simon doesn't feel comfortable with Baz's kindness or gentleness, because it "makes me feel like I'm being turned inside out. Like I need to get away." Let's sit with this for a bit. Baz's loving touches make Simon want to run because they're kind and gentle and he doesn't know what to do with kind and gentle. His mind isn't programmed for kind and gentle.
It makes complete sense that Simon would show Baz affection in a way that Simon understands, considering, as I said before, that he hasn't had anyone in his life to show him a healthy way to do this. What does Simon most want from Baz? Love. What does Simon understand love to be? Consumption. He wants roughness and aggression, he wants the inferno, because these are things he understands.
Simon wants Baz's teeth, so he gives Baz his teeth.
This is how Simon feels comfortable. I made this post while processing my feelings about AWTWB. It talks about Simon trying to love Baz the way he wants to be loved, and Baz trying to love Simon the way he wants to be loved. They want to give each other everything, but they haven't actually communicated their needs to one another, and that's what keeps them from being able to work through their problems. It isn't until they voice their needs that they're able to be intimate. This is what I'm really trying to get at here.
"Is this what people do?" Simon asks, over and over again. When Simon was in therapy, he learned a technique to break up "life into bites you can swallow". He tells us he's doing this again in AWTWB "because [the future] is too terrifying. Too uncertain. There are parts of it that are too bright." —There are parts of it that are too bright.— Simon doesn't know how to be happy. He doesn't know how to cope with happiness. "Is this what people do when they're in love? Do they just keep touching and talking? And then what? Like what is it all leading to? I don't mean sex, I mean… If I knew what I meant, it wouldn't be so frightening." When Simon is having all these overwhelming feelings about his future with Baz, they're on the Tube, and Simon sees a guy giving him and Baz "a dirty look". He interrupts his introspective on therapy to tell us that he wants the guy to cause trouble "because I would dearly love to punch something right now. That's a decision I could wrap my brain around." He can wrap his brain around punching someone, but not around a bright future with the man he loves.
Simon doesn't know how to be at peace. He doesn't know how to be in love. He doesn't know how to be happy. I think this is what we're seeing at play when he bites Baz. He wants something so badly, but he doesn't know what it is, can't articulate it, can't get at it. In a way, when he bites Baz, Simon is trying to ask for what he wants, without words, and without really knowing what it is that he does want.
He can't figure out how to let himself be happy and feel good while being happy. He can't stand gentleness, or softness. In his head, he can't give that to Baz, because he can't handle it himself.
So, yes, Simon bites Baz because he wants to be bitten. And he bites Baz because he knows Baz can handle it. And he bites Baz because there's an emptiness inside of him that he's still trying to fill, and he doesn't understand how to do that. Someday, he will fill it. He and Baz are going to figure that out together.
I hope this makes sense. With your indulgence, Anon, I'm going to tag in @theflyingpeach who is all around brilliant, and I know has their own thoughts about this scene (and demon Simon 👀👀👀) that I would like to see more of. 🥰
A follow up to this ask can be found here.
Further reading on the relationship between consumption, food, and love compiled here.
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hollyhomburg · 7 months ago
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Before I Leave You (Part 1)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: Yoongi Disappears- leaving behind a shattered pack. 8 months later, Jimin finds Yoongi in an H-mart of all places. 
Pairing: Beta! Yoongi, Omega! Reader, Omega! Jungkook, Omega! Seokjin, Alpha! Namjoon, Alpha! Hoseok, Alpha! Taehyung, Alpha! Jimin,
Tags: Angst, hurt/comfort, low-self esteem, themes of abandonment, betrayal, anger, anxiety, panic-attacks, brief implied suicidal thoughts (Tae) but it's heavily implied, not the slowest of burns but it’s as slow as im willing to make it. 
W/c: 7.0k
A/n: It’s a little early but I hope you like it! alot of angst but the ending is worth it I promise! you guys finally meet the m/c! the next few chapters will show how yoongi and the m/c met and all that shit. PLEASE READ THE PROLOGUE BEFORE YOU READ THIS PART. 
Previous part --- Masterlist 
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Part 1: Sweet Regret 
He was only supposed to be gone for a few days.
When he’d left to visit his familial pack (the pack he’d been born into), It was a sudden trip, one-day- Yoongi had given himself one extra day at home, the last day he’d get to love them before he’d left. It was all his anxiety would allow. 
To his packmates, it had felt a little like Yoongi was just distracted, often they’d turn to ask him and found him anxiously looking down on his phone. And then in the morning he’d had to get on the next train, No one had thought anything of it- of course they were okay with him going. Of course Yoongi had to go for his family. 
He’d left a heavily scented shirt for Jungkook to hold onto to make sure his seizures didn’t get too bad while he was gone. But the omega had his whole closet too.
The best lies are one part lie and two parts truth. Yes, Yoongi's grandfather was dying and telling them that didn't feel like a lie. But on the other hand saying "I'll be back in 2 weeks, maybe 3 at the most" tasted like acid on his tongue. 
It’s not a lie when Yoongi looks at Jin and pouts, because even if he wants to cry as he drinks in his omega getting ready for work thinking it could be the last time he sees it, tears aren’t expected of him and It would give it all away.
 “I’m gonna miss you.” Jin kisses the frown off of his lips.
Maybe looking back on it, Seokjin would recognize the heaviness in his gaze as something that wasn’t caused by a simple three week absence. They’re kinda used to having their nest absent of at least one of the packmates (Jimin has a buisness trips sometimes, whenever his clients necessitate it). And Sure it’s going to suck but they’ll be alright. 
(They won't be, and Yoongi knows this and leaves anyway, because he doesn't have a choice.) 
“I’ll call you if it's any longer okay?” he’d kissed Seokjin so quickly. Seokjin would have pulled him in for longer if he’d known this was the last he’d see of the beta for so long. (Seokjin would have also probably tied the beta to the bed if he knew he was about to leave, but that's neither here nor there, it's not a true kink if it’s born out of desperation).
Yoongi walks out their front door, trying not to cry. He Calls Namjoon to let him know. Namjoon can barely hear the betas voice over the noise in the emergency room. A three-car crash just come in. Blood on the linoleum and the bottom of Namjoon’s shoes. “Yoongi? I’m sorry baby but I can’t hear you?”  If Namjoon had known it was the last time he’d hear Yoongi’s voice. he’d have gone to another room, would have begged and bartered. Would have run out of the hospital to drag Yoongi back. 
he hears static, and then disconnects the call, sending him a quick text back where he tells him he’ll call on his break, if he even gets one today. Weeks later Namjoon will sob as he realizes he never got to say a proper goodbye.
But they hadn’t known. None of them had. In later months they’ll hold onto that and hate it. “If it was the last time we were supposed to see him- we would have felt something minnie” Hoseok will say, always the most superstitious one in their little family.
Yoongi had always been so cagey about his family that the others never knew too much beyond the fact that all but his brother were dead and that he hadn’t been home since he was 18. They didn’t even know their names or have a number to call when a week passes without any calls from their beta, only a text here and there, Yoongi stops responding to the messages after the 5th day.  
And then the day Yoongi said he would return passes without the beta showing up at their door and they all know that something has to be wrong- irrevocably wrong. Yoongi used to say even if he was dying in a ditch somewhere he’d still claw his way towards them.
They leave dozens of calls and voicemails, pleading long form texts. Some that they regret and some that ring with truth. “Please, can you just tell us if you’re okay?” “I hate you for this, I swear to god Min Yoongi if you do not call us soon im going to drag you back here by your ear” 
That was the only explanation for it. That he was hurt- or hurting somewhere. The only other possibility is that he left them- and that just isn’t possible. They’d always counted on one truth; that Yoongi loved them, And now not even that seems true.
Every call to Yoongi’s phone going to voicemail until the box is full and then it just beeps dolefully until the number gets disconnected on the third week. Hoseok doesn’t want to hear “this number has been disconnected” anymore. He just wants to hear the voice of his beta. Misses it. He tries to be strong for the others but Jungkook still catches him sniffing over his phone late at night.  
After the first month, they have to address the possibility that Yoongi isn’t going to come back.
Maybe he was trying to let them down gently. Maybe Yoongi had found a new pack and moved on to them- had figured this one was complete enough without him.
One of Hoseok’s Coe workers at the record store- the one that filled Yoongi’s position catches Hoseok crying in the bathroom during his break. and when Hoseok makes the mistake of confiding in the other alpha, he dares to say, “What did you expect to happen? That he’d stay with you forever? He’s a beta Hoseok.” 
Like that justifies it at all, like gender holds a candle to love. A Love like they had but don’t now that Yoongi’s broke it. Hoseok doesn’t know what he’d do if he saw the beta again, if he’d fall into his arms and beg him to take him back or if he’d bite his head off.
Namjoon makes him quit the job at the record store when Hoseok tells him what the coworker said. Hoseok wants to hold onto the one place that was just his and Yoongi’s but it’s not really healthy. Hoseok looks for Yoongi in the stacks of records, always about to turn- about to comment on the weird album art or on one vinyl over the other, only to find the store empty accept for him, Yoongi’s name hovering on the tip of his tongue. 
So Namjoon encourages him to leave- Because Hoseok is having a rough time in general. They all are. Some time off will be helpful for Hoseok, and Jungkook too honestly.
Jungkook cries all the time, and it doesn’t have anything to do with the seizures coming back with a vengeance. He ends up having to take a few weeks off of work, just until he gets a better handle on his diet and sleep schedule again. But it’s hard when he can’t sleep- keeps reaching out for a scent that’s slowly fading from their bed.
Jungkook's seizures feel more like withdrawal symptoms, a barely susceptible tremor in his hands. Namjoon has seen his fair share of addicts at the hospital. And he can't help but recognize the same in Jungkook, only Namjoon can't fix this with love or medication.
Even when Jungkook's doctor tells the younger about a new medication that could help him. "Kookie” Namjoon had pleaded, looking at Jungkook like he’s more of a pup than an adult that can make medical decisions for himself. He’s pack alpha, Jungkook has to remind himself (though he’s never had to remind himself of that fact before Yoongi left) he’s just doing what he thinks is best for me. Even if it pisses him off when Namjoon treats him like a child. 
“I've seen these medications in action before, a lot of the time their symptoms are worse than the seizures," the alpha had gripped Jungkook's sleeves. hands hitting the sensitive scent glands at his wrists to try and comfort him. "Please kookie, we can find a better way to handle this, you've got us" Jungkook doesn't say anything, but Namjoon can read his expression. They might be able to support Jungkook, but at the end of the day, they're not Yoongi.
He just wants Yoongi back. To say ‘Koo’ when he walks in the door from work and sees Jungkook sitting at the coffee table. The words are so cutesy and make jungkook feel like melted chocolate (not unlike yoongi’s scent- the one he saves just for Jungkook that makes him feel like he’s melting too). 
It starts to feel hollow when the others call him ‘Koo’ instead of ‘Kookie’. He yells at Tae about it. Koo was just for them- Just for Yoongi to call him. It doesn’t sound the same when they say it.
Koo- soft and sweet, the same way he’d said Minnie at the end of a long day too. The Jimin of years ago would have scoffed and growled at being referred to as anything but his name. So used to having to posture to prove he was alpha enough for his mates. But now Jimin craves it- the way the elder would bring him down to his lowest and most hidden instincts. The part of Jimin that was just a puppy- that wanted pets and kisses and everything in between- to be a good alpha for his beta. 
Those hidden moments when Yoongi’s dominant streak seemed a mile wide and Jimin was nothing but a pliable force under his hands. “There you go baby- I knew you could be good for me.” Jimin wakes up more than once with those words ringing in his ears. Memories of Yoongi’s voice play like a song that he can’t get out of his head. 
Jimin struggles not to close up for the others, they still need him. But it’s hard to be the same way when they’re all this sad, when his inner alpha is yelling at him that he’s failing to keep them happy. Jimin can’t fulfill his most basic instincts as an alpha and provide for his pack. Certainly couldn’t provide for Yoongi.
Namjoon helps. Twines his finger with Jimin’s under the table and doesn’t ask him what's wrong except to pull him in for a scent mark. Jimin lets himself get hazy, tries to believe it when Namjoon says, "There we go Minnie, let alpha make it all better" when he finally lets out a choked purr. Reluctantly brought into a scent happy haze. 
There is something intoxicating about the pack alpha; how much larger he is than jimin and the way he drags Jimin in and reminds him how to be soft after he’s spent the week bickering and getting angry over the small things. Jimin might spend his 9-5 protecting people, but it's nice to let someone else do the same for a change.
The others relax. His isn't the only unhappy scent at the table but Jimin's gunsmoke angry unhappy scent has always been one of the more pungent. Making Jimin relax helps all of them do the same.
Through dinner Namjoon’s phone sits on the table waiting for a phone call that never comes.
Their predicament isn’t exactly uncommon- most betas have a few packs that they stay with periodically. Maybe he finally got too frustrated with putting down roots. Wanted to branch out. They couldn’t fault him for that- even if they are angry he left without a word. 
As much as Jungkook tries to think through it, it just doesn't make any sense. Yoongi wouldn't do this to them. He would never leave them hanging unless he had to. But that anger becomes bargaining as the weeks become months.  
Taehyung puts his longing for Yoongi into words.
It’s been years since he wrote so much, since college when he finally got tired of the pessimist attitudes of his professors (according to them his works were always a little too grammatically incorrect and fanciful, a cross-section between poetry and prose). His creativity was too intimate and vulnerable to survive an appraising eye for long. He decided to protect that soft side of him that had something to say and save it only for Jimin.
The pieces of his sensitive heart hidden in longhand love letters that they’d sent back and forth before Jimin had finally signed with a protection agency and moved to the city with him. 
Now he writes those longhand love letters for Yoongi- shoves them in-betweens pages of books so that he doesn’t have to think about them. compartmentalizing his hurt into sentences and paragraphs. No one loves me quite like you did he writes, red ink that might as well be his blood for how much it hurts to pen the words that Yoongi might never read. 
And yet, that pain is still a papercut compared to how much Taehyung hurts without Yoongi by his side.
These letters aren’t like the ones he wrote for Jimin all those years ago. No- those are saved and shared between the two of them when Jimin snaps at him and they fight (this happens more after the stress of Yoongi leaving and a very bad rut season- a perfect storm for their worst fight in years). They only open the shoebox that holds the love letters when he and Jimin need a reminder that the foundation of their love isn’t something that can be damaged by petty words.
But Jimin had never abandoned him the way that Yoongi has; not when he wanted to go to an expensive school in the city away from their hometown. Leaving Jimin to work at the same martial arts studio as always. Not when they were so poor that they could only see each other when jimin saved up enough money to take the train into the city. Once a month if they were lucky. 
In one of the first love letters Taehyung ever wrote, it goes; ‘I wish I could meet you at the train station my love. I crave the easy look you give me the first time you see me in months, where I am the earth and you the moon. And it feels dizzying like I am the person who you love most, your tornado and your torrent. under your eyes, I feel like a force of nature. Kissing you tastes like colors I don’t have words for.’  
Losing Yoongi feels sort of like that- disorienting, and Tae is unable to find a pattern in life without him. Sometimes he goes weeks without writing letters, other times he writes Yoongi three times in the same day. The papers and backs of receipts and napkins Stained with as many tears as they are stained with ink.
One night Namjoon finds Tae asleep at their dining room table, back hunched over some of them with a pen still in his hand. Tae wakes with a start when the pack alpha skims a hand down his back. Waking him up softly to drag him back to the nest. And Tae knows just from the soft look in Namjoon’s eyes that he’s read some of the words. Maybe the ink has bled onto Taehyung’s cheek where it was pressed to the letter. 
Words like the tattoos on his soul, each of their names written over and over again. There is no more room left on Taehyung’s soul, no more room for another name and no room left for another person to make a home out of his heart- the same way Taehyung had found a home in Yoongi’s. 
(That’s a little bit of a lie- Taehyung just hasn’t met you yet). 
Tae’s worried about what namjoon might have read, he doesn’t know if he could handle Namjoon trying to talk to him about his feelings right now. He hopes that Namjoon didn’t read “You were the knife to my cadaver. I understand that you had to leave, but what I don’t understand is why you had to take so much of me with you. if you weren’t planning on treasuring me, the least you could have done is leave me whole. Tossed me back into the ocean like a piece of sea glass that needs more polishing.”
Or even worse, the lines that aren’t as pretty but just as true, “if I ever see you again, I think I’ll start crying on sight because I don’t think we’ll ever really meet again. Maybe we were just soulmates that met a lifetime too soon. Maybe in the next life, I will hold onto you better. Maybe at the pearly gates, you will be my only sweet regret. If you’re already dead, I’ll wish I was too. I wish I could hate you as much as I love you.”
Because no matter the words- Tae knows he’s better off having known Yoongi. however fleeting their love story was. 
But that doesn’t mean he’s not fucking angry.
His hand crumples up one edge of a newspaper before namjoon has the chance to see it. The words that Namjoon absolutely cannot see. The ones he doesn't let any of them see. I think it's a good thing that I never showed you that side of me, knowing how indelicate you where with leaving. At least you loved me once, This version of me. I guess I shouldn’t be so angry..
Afterall, I lied to you first. 
Namjoon doesn't notice Tae throw out the tiny slip of paper and Tae knows from experience that it will go unnoticed and unturned over in the wastepaper basket.  
They look back and try to remember the last few months Yoongi was in their lives and think through what might have gone wrong but none of them can put their finger on it. Why did Yoongi leave and where did he go? Sometimes they’d settle for just knowing that he was alive and safe. Seokjin can't shake the feeling that something must have happened to Yoongi, something bad, for him to leave.
Four months pass without a word. Sometimes Seokjin wakes up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, the taste of blood and rainwater on his tongue.
They all feel like they did before Yoongi collected them and made a home out of their house. Made people out of the fragile souls that they are. And they don’t move, they can’t move because what if Yoongi tries to find them again? What kind of packmates would they be if they went to a place where he couldn’t follow?
Maybe they should have expected this Seokjin thinks, maybe it was all they could do to keep Yoongi for as long as they could- hold onto a star until it burned out and he wasn’t theirs anymore.
“Do you think he’ll ever come back?” Jungkook asks Seokjin late at night- curled up in the nest room. Their alphas are all piled in the living room for a movie night. But both omega’s agreed they would rather just get some quality one-on-one cuddle time. The youngest omega has always been so so sweet and that sweetness seems twofold underneath the light of the moon spilling through the window, the lights off because it just seems warmer that way.
In the darkness- Seokjin can pretend that Yoongi’s there. The memory of yoongi haunts all of them in different ways, right now he’s a ghost in their room. 
if Yoongi were here would he be asleep between the two of them? Would Jungkook pull the betas legs between his knees just to get a little closer. Hands playing on the half almost abs softness that Yoongi's always had on his tummy, the perfect medium between plush and hard. Would he toy with the softness while Seokjin tucked his face into Yoongi's neck? Would they each take one of his hands in the darkness? 
Yoongi's hands where always a sensitive part of him. And now- Seokjin grasps at the bedspread and pretends, just for a second. This far into the city there aren’t a lot of stars to see this far into the city outside the window- But the moon is always there.
“I’m not sure” Seokjin kisses the distressed curve of Jungkook’s jaw, smoothing away the listlessness as best he can with his hands. He and Jungkook made the nest earlier to curl up in just the two of them. And yet- it doesn’t ease the pain in Seokjin’s heart. Doesn’t comfort them as much as it should. 
Items of Yoongi are put sparingly in the nest, They don’t smell like him anymore. they’ve given up preserving Yoongi’s scent for Jungkook’s seizures. Unlike those first few weeks when it still felt like he was all around and Seokjin only had to close his eyes and pretend that his life partner- the man he’d been with for almost 5 years- was still there.
No one aches over Yoongi’s loss more than Seokjin, and no one misses him more. The others do their best to comfort their oldest omega, to be home at certain times so that he doesn’t get too nervous. But it only takes a small break in their schedule to get Seokjin pacing back and forth in front of the door. Nearly brought to tears at the thought that they might not be coming home.
His anxious spirals take him to dark places. There is no limit to tragedies that could befall them, hit by a car, or a victim of a train derailment. Many a day when they get stuck in traffic have the others stumbled through the door and into Jin’s arms. 
The eldest omega bursts into tears the second he sees them, “You were late- I thought you were- I thought I was-“ I thought i was alone again, “I know my love I’m so sorry- it was just an accident on the road, traffic- you know I’m safe- you know I never speed.”
Seokjin couldn’t handle losing another one of them. It would destroy him and he knows it. He knows what this is, a common symptom in omegas after they lose a pup or a packmate. He learned about 'nest anxiety' when he was in university, but knowing what it isn doesn't help him cure it in himself. Making a nest doesn't give him the same satisfying rush it used to. And won’t again until all his packmates are inside of it- and impossibility now. 
Regardless, Seokjin holds Jungkook but even then he wishes he had his beta there to hold him and guide him, to show him the best way to do this. Maybe it was a terrible breach of the pack contracts to want a keep to beta for your own especially when it wasn’t in their nature to be sedentary. But Seokjin would always want Yoongi as his and only his. Seokjin feels sourness in his heart at the fact that he wasn’t able to hold onto Yoongi.
Whatever way you cut it- they weren’t enough. The 6 of them didn’t give Yoongi enough love- that he had to go find it somewhere else.
Missing Yoongi has carved a hole out of his heart- a space where nothing can fit besides fond memories, placed there delicately. Like to remember them too frequently would dilute them, make the love they had feel less real. The more Seokjin wants him back- the more he feels like it never happened at all.
like their love story was only a good dream.
They all feel like they did before- before Yoongi was there and made a home out of their house, and a person out of the souls wants, and desires that lived inside of their bones. They feel like graves, shaky and unsettled. The fallow ground where once there was fruitful love.
Hoseok and Yoongi planted flowers in the window boxes on the balcony last spring- and when they come up again Hoseok can’t even look at them without crying. It gets a little bit better when he starts to notice them around the city, spring is starting to come. And every hint of yellow in the grey winter landscape feels like a soft reminder of healing. 
Hoseok gets a job at a flower shop, and it feels good to have a reason to go outside of the apartment again. To make bouquets that make people smile. roses and peonies, daisies and daffodils, like Yoongi and Hoseok. It didn’t matter that distance separates them. Hoseok will always be the sunflower pointing in the direction of his sun. 
Hoseok lets himself smile and Heal with the coming flowers of spring. He knows to appreciate a good thing even though it’s gone. He’ll always have memories of Yoongi; how he was the kind of lover to make your intrests his own. Yoongi was always the kind of person who’d do something with you just to make sure you didn’t have to enjoy it alone, the perfect company. 
Hoseok rides the train to work, always with one headphone in, the other headphone is meant for Yoongi. The same way they did when they worked at the record shop together. 
(He’d never know because he switched jobs, but on the rainy days when fog sinks into the city like a fresh sheet, there is a figure outside the windows of that record store looking in. The record store owner is just closing up the day Yoongi finally decides to confront him. locking the door when he lifts his head against the rain. “He quit.” is all he says, all he needs to say before the figure slinks away without a word.)
Yoongi finds the flower shop, and Hoseok. the stolen moment when he lets himself look through the foggy windows at the unmistakable red head bobbing to unheard music. One headphone in like always, it makes Yoongi smile. He leaves before hoseok can spot him looking in. A spare 10 feet away, but Hoseok would never know.
Yoongi is their ghost- and he haunts them in more ways than one.  
When Hoseok looks up from his phone, he finds a palm print pressed into the fog of the window. But when he goes outside to look- the streets are completely empty. He doesn't tell the others. Can’t- he won’t get their hopes up when it was probably just some creep looking in. Hoseok needs to stop seeing Yoongi everywhere he goes, really. He feels like he’s gonna go crazy if he doesn't stop daydreaming about the beta. 
They never move apartments- they can’t. What if Yoongi tries to find them again and he shows up at their door? What kind of mates would they be if they went to a place where he couldn’t follow? Months pass. And Namjoon wakes up on the 6-month anniversary of the last time he saw Yoongi and just feels off. he goes to work and sifts through the day, the rotation of patients in different rooms but always namjoon.
On his way home, he passes the parking lot that he and Seokjin and yoongi did donounts in the first night they met. it’s being ripped up to make room for more retail space. namjoon remembers the way it had smelled, chocolate and cream mixed with the smell of burning rubber and french fries. 
Namjoon’s hands tighten on the wheel and all he knows is that he’s crying too hard to drive home. He calls his pack so someone can come and pick him up because he can’t drive right now and though they hold him so gently. Wiping away his tears. Namjoon is a wreck- absolutely destroyed. He cries so hard he burst a blood vessel in his nose, staining the front of hoseok's shirt with blood in the back of his car while Jimin drives. 
At every red light, he meets hoseok's eyes in the mirror. silently reassuring him that everything will be okay even if they both know that's a lie. things haven’t been alright since yoongi’s left.  
He needs a full week off work to get back to where he was before; a different one of his mates uses their sick days on a different day of the week so that Namjoon’s not alone. 
They’re all healing at different speeds, and for Namjoon- it just took a second for it to hit. To know that they’d be okay even when he broke. Even loving the others doesn’t feel as sweet. No hand is complete without Yoongi there to hold the other one.
Namjoon craves the ease at which the beta used to find his hands at the worst and at the best of times. How Yoongi’s hand always seems to find his in the happy moment. He remembers it sliding down his palm, tracing the lines there when they used to watch Jimin and Hoseok dance in their crowded living room- everyone keeping their feet tucked into their seat to give them both more room. Yoongi pressed tight against his side.
Namjoon remembers holding Yoongi’s hand when they would walk through the neon streets at night, a bottle of soju that they would switch back and forth, from lips to hands, to another set of lips. Indirect kisses.
The others never let Namjoon feel neglected when he pulls away. It takes him a while. But eventually, things start to feel a little bit normal. Not quite the way that they used to be. But not straight terrible either. Spring is coming again. The daffodils are just starting to come up. And Namjoon gets up in the morning, knowing that even if Yoongi never comes back, he’ll be okay.
And then after nearly a fucking year- Jimin sees him- at a fucking h-mart grocery store at 4 pm on a Tuesday.
For weeks he'll think through what would have happened if he'd come into the store just a few minutes later, he could easily have missed Yoongi. Would have if he hadn’t been weak to the requests of his packmates who’d sent Jimin out for the usual stables as well as papaya and melona ice pops because it was starting to get nice out. Jungkook looking up at him and whispering “Please hyung?”
Jimin stares at the crowd of people and picks him out in a second, for a second Jimin just stares- blinking, not believing it as he recognizes the way the beta moves. Watching his ex-pack mate move slowly around the store, almost like he’s trying his best not to hurry. Jimin's mind has been trained to pick up the little details like that, Yoongi's foot taps an anxious rhythm as he waits for an old lady to move her cart.
He picks up some 3 for 2 green onions then moves onto the fruit aisle. Someone asks Jimin to move his cart and he just leaves it, tailing the beta. keeping pace with him on the other side of the aisle, trying to make sure that yes, that really is Yoongi. Alive, in the flesh and in a moment of unexpected domesticity.
There are bags under his eyes that weren’t there before- probably from stress. His hair a little overgrown too, black and falling into his eyes tickling his shoulders and the back of his neck, His burgundy long grown out. But it's him.
He’s buying more food than could possibly be for one person, Yoongi’s never been a big eater and the amount of food in his cart is more than could be for just him.
He reaches the end of the isle and Jimin doesn't think, just crosses the store and grips Yoongi by the lapels of his shirt, pushing him up against a stand of tangerines hard. pinning him there. A few of them fall, rolling across the washed-out linoleum floor like little suns.
He needs to know that Yoongi was real- that their love wasn’t just a figment of his imagination. Jimin needs to know- needs to see in his eyes that recognition, to feel Yoongi under his palms. Jimin sees his expression shift from open-mouth shock to understanding. His chest aches with the strength of- what are those? sobs or growls? Jimin's hands dig into his shoulders hard. Like he's trying to imprint the feeling of Yoongi on his fingertips. 
The anger of an alpha is a fearsome thing and several people shoot Jimin looks at the aggressive angry pheromones sparking out, gun smoke- as aggressive and angry as any alpha scent can be. Several people shoot him worried looks like he might try to punch the beta. Wondering if his anger is because of a rut or because of something else. 
Between the apples and the fucking bitter Melon- Yoongi and Jimin stare into each other’s eyes for the first time in months. Jimin’s anger extinguishes just as quickly as it came when Yoongi’s palms close around his narrow wrists.
Jimin opens his mouth, grasping at words, he doesn’t know what he wants to say first. And what comes out isn’t a demand or an accusation of why he’d left them. Why had he left Jimin to pick up the wreckage of their family? why hadn’t he stayed and fulfilled his promises? 
There are no accusations or demands for explanations. Instead- what comes out is a sob and Jimin is scrambling to pull Yoongi close and get all of his Scent on him. The coolness of the ocean quieting him, salty tears that smell like the ocean brought to life by Yoongi’s presence. And Yoongi, like always, holds him up. A hand coming up to lace in his hair and hold him close. Jimin presses his nose to Yoongi’s scent gland, a noise that is half snarl and half sob wrenched from between his lips. 
“I’m sorry” is the first word that comes out of Yoongi’s mouth- pressed against the place where Jimin wants kisses. A spot Yoongi’s kissed countless times before. The grannies and mothers with pups give the two reuniting men a withering look and then move onto their shopping. Whatever scene they're making not as important as the food in their carts.
Jimin can’t speak through the tears, can’t do anything but let Yoongi soothe him with his endless stream of those same two words- I’m sorry- over and over again. like a mantra that will suddenly make things better.
Jimin won’t leave his side. And Yoongi wouldn’t want him to. Jimin pretends not to see the moment when Yoongi reaches out to grab his hand or when the beta turns away to wipe at his eyes in the check out lane. 
Jimin doesn't know what to say, doesn't know how to ask, where did you go and why did you leave? His instincts flare, telling him not to let his beta out of his sight again. Clogging his throat and making it impossible to demand the answers he's owed. If Yoongi leaves his sight for even a moment jimin will go feral. 
But Yoongi doesn't make Jimin leave, no, Yoongi accepts his help to carry his groceries home. Yoongi leads him to a wealthy neighborhood (all places where you can buy a house even remotely close to the city are wealthy)
Jimin thinks he should be more surprised by the house but it’s so Yoongi, the beta had always been a fan of fixer-uppers (both people and places). The outside paneling is chipping in some places, it’s garishly painted a dark teal with lime green and yellow trim thats coming apart from their sills and eves. But still, it’s an impressively large house even if it looks like it’s on it’s way to being condemned. With A second story that Jimin can see looking windowed and bright, a balcony that looks over the street below. Half of the wrot iron railing missing. 
Yoongi’s a little too close to his neighbors- the quiet sound of movement from next door as they linger on the porch while yoongi digs through his pocket for his keys says as much. But Yoongi says the walls are thick and you can’t hear much from the inside. Jimin isn’t really thinking about that- more wondering after just how much money Yoongi had needed to buy a house so big, Even lots of land without houses go for 500 thousand dollars here.
And Where Yoongi had gotten that kind of money only confused him further.
There are pizza boxes and takeout containers stacked up just outside the heavy wood door- the old-fashioned door knobs that jiggle with metallic clinks. Yoongi says that the house is old- nearly 150 years and in need of some serious restoration.  
Jimin’s first impression of the inside is that it’s a little empty. At first, it seems kind of like a cave with high ceilings and not enough windows but Yoongi jumps into his plans for the house instantly when he sense that Jimin is less than impressed by the interior. Yoongi is the first to admit that the house needs a fuck ton of work. 
It has nice bones he says, most of the windows are too rotted out anyway so it only makes sense to make them larger. There will be more natural light once Yoongi’s decided why style he wants. Jimin has always been a fan of natural light, and Yoongi knows this. 
They still don't address the elephant in the room, its easier for jimin to ask questions about the house. 
Jimin definitely doesn’t say that that would only lead to privacy issues. Here in suburbia where the houses are on top of each other- but the thought sours when it hits him. It’s not his house- he won’t be living here with Yoongi- so why does it matter what Jimin thinks of the space?
But that only begs the question of who will be living here. It’s too large for just Yoongi. There are too many questions between the two of them. And though at first Jimin had been silent except for his sniffles now he feels like the questions are going to burst out of him.
But it sort of feels like Yoongi’s waiting for Jimin's approval. He makes a non-committal noise as he tries to kick off his shoes. but they’re closed with a zipper and Jimin doesn't even move to set the groceries aside before yoongi’s stooping to his knees to unzip Jimin’s heavy combat boots. Yoongi looks up from below Jimin, and for a moment Jimin thinks that maybe this is the moment that Yoongi will beg for forgiveness. 
But then Jimin see’s the shoes by the door, a second pair. The oversized chunky shoes are something that jungkook would wear. But they’re not in Yoongi’s size, They’re- someone else's.
trying not to let himself cry Jimin extinguishes the moment by juggling the paper bags in his arms, “where should I put these?” Yoongi straightens, hiding his blush in his too long hair. “Over here, the kitchen’s a mess but we’ve got a makeshift set up.” 
Yoongi doesn’t call out to anyone when he leads Jimin through the house.  Whoever they are- whoever Yoongi loves in this house they’re probably not here, why else would no one come to the door? Why else would Yoongi not call out to them?
The kitchen is the first thing being redone- the walls and the floor already gutted and ripped up. Part of one wall taken out to make the space more open, connecting the kitchen and living room spaces. Most of it is carefully sealed by a layer of thick plastic.
“To keep out the dust,” Yoongi explains when he sees Jimin looking. “We’re not really sure if this has asbestos yet- thought I had someone come in and test it, we won’t know for a few more days.” a large wooden table holds a induction cooker and a microwave, the fridge tucked into a wall. a makeshift kitchen in a place that should be the living room. Jimin sets the bags there, a little hard. 
Jimin’s noticed the constant ‘we’ in Yoongi’s sentences. How could he not? The owner of those shoes that has already taken more from Jimin then seems possible for a stranger. He can’t help but feel some hatred towards the person who stole their Yoongi away from them. “You’ve got to be careful with your- person” he tries not to let the words come out aggressively but fails by a mile.
Jimin feels vindictive, he wants to talk about how Jungkook’s seizures got worse, about how for the first few months, they were ghosts but then they were fine. They don’t need Yoongi to love each other no matter what Jimin’s treacherous heart says.
Yoongi doesn’t look surprised at the anger. And Jimin doesn’t say anything more than that- he doesn’t really want to hurt Yoongi even though he could. Jimin has never been one to be cruel. Jimin is owed answers, and he could wait until now- until they weren't making a scene in public but now he needs them.
He opens his mouth to ask, but before he can- he hears a small intake of breath and turns. But Jimin can’t get a good enough look before the figure is retreating, only catching the sight of blue fabric as trailing on the ground, quickly disappearing around the corner.
You take off in a run- away from the new alpha- away from the threat.
You wish you could stay- Yoongi could need help- this strange sweet-smelling alpha could be sent to kill the two of you and yet your instincts of self-preservation are thundering in your ears. Your instincts saying to go into the back room crawl into the little cabinet or something- hide until they’re gone. Or maybe the attic. Any space they couldn’t find you.
Yoongi calls your name but you’re already hiding.
Yoongi gives Jimin a tired but sad look. Setting the unpacked groceries onto a lone chair, And gestures for him to follow. They tread back through the house, past a few doors and a steep set of stairs.
Jimin doesn’t know how he knew to look in the closet, but one-moment Yoongi’s nostrils are flaring and the next he’s uttering comforting words. Yoongi’s voice is soft, like he’s trying to calm a startled animal. “Baby, it’s okay, Jiminie’s not here to hurt us. He might look scary but he’s actually really kind. Don’t you want to meet him?” 
Yoongi turns to look at him, an encouraging but gentle look on his face, a face that says 'please don't say anything too harsh' “And I’m sure he’d love to meet you too. Will you come out sweetheart?”
Jimin bristles, because honestly he can’t imagine anything he wants less. He used to call me sweetheart Jimin thinks bitterly. Stomping down the grief and yearning as Yoongi slowly nears the closet door. Jimin can hear slow shifting inside.
Yoongi should have known that bringing a strange alpha home would startle you and make you hide, any surprise tends to do that to you- least of all your worst nightmare. Someone you don't know and don't trust in your only safe haven. But in the moment all he was thinking about was Jiminie- that he missed them and that he’d do anything to get a few more minutes with the alpha again, a taste of that life back, just for a moment.
He has a lot to do in order to earn them back in his life- Yoongi knows that. And Seeing Jimin again today had felt like seeing shame and damnation, a stolen special treat. 
Once he opens that door again he’ll have a lot to prove, a lot to heal. This- Yoongi does on the daily- when the hurts he had and hadn't caused were one in the same with you. There is a lot to mitigate, balancing his hope and your feeling of safety. It's not easy.
You’ve seen Yoongi sit up late at night more than once- staring out the windows at the rows of houses. Out here in suburbia where the 18th-century homes have been turned into Large packhouses that stretch into the distance just like this one. Each window that shines with light is a seperate love story. 
You and Yoongi are just one box of light in the sea of houses. Your house is dark with just the two of you, but it aches to be filled with like like the others. This is a pack house, made for 6 people that live across the city, maybe it’s falling down But Yoongi’s going to make it a home if its the last act of love he’s allowed. 
In many ways, this house will be his apology. Jimin just wasn’t supposed to see it until it was done. 
The empty places in Yoongi’s heart hurt almost as much as the broken places in yours. A house is not a home without love and you know Yoongi loves them. And you guess, if Yoongi trusts him- then you can trust this alpha too. 
Yoongi feels the release of tension when you let go of the doorknob and takes it as permission to open the door.
Yoongi opens the door, and you’ve got the edge of a sleeve on your head from the jackets hanging in the closet. The blue blanket clasped around you hides your mouth as you and Jimin lock eyes, his appraising and yours scared. You're terrified, but you can handle being scared for Yoongi.
He's your mate after all.
Jimin feels his heart skip a beat. /Oh/ he thinks, just /oh/, And tries not to let the world fall down around him. The room is spinning and Jimin can breathe, he  like someone just tore a rug out from underneath him.  And then- his foot actually does hit a soft spot in the floorboards.
A crunch, a crack, his foot goes through the floor and Jimin loses his balance. 
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sunflowerdaisybee · 4 months ago
Text
In The Woods | Technoblade X Reader
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Summary: Technoblade meets an odd person while looking for his horse
Genre: None really :/
Pronouns: They/Them 
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A huff escaped Technoblade's lips as he searched for Carl, the horse had gotten spooked and ran off into unfamiliar territory. Techno was quick to go after the horse but Carl was most definitely faster.
"Fuck, how far did he run?" Techno took a second to stop and look around, hoping to spot the horse somewhere within the trees.
"If you're looking for the horse he's down by the creek over there." The voice chimed out from behind the piglin, prompting him to turn around. With no hesitation, he swung his sword at you, though rather than connecting with your figure his sword whipped right through a gathering of butterflies.
"That's not very nice, I was simply trying to help you." Your voice came from his side this time and again with no hesitation he swung. And once again he hit nothing and instead was met with a swarm of fluttering butterflies.
"Who the hell are you?" Technoblade frantically looked around, though there was no one in sight. His aggravation only intensified, not only was Carl missing but now he was being punked by some random jerk.
"Well maybe if you weren't constantly trying to kill me I'd tell you." Technoblade looked upwards, finally seeing you rather than butterflies. You were sat atop one of the higher branches in a nearby tree, legs swinging lazily and gaze trained down on him.
Watching him carefully you jumped from the branch, landing on the ground too softly for his liking.
"What the fuck are you?" Techno raised his sword, pointing it in your direction.
"First it was who am I and now it's what am I. You never seem to stop asking questions. Well since you're oh so eager to know, I am (y/n) god of all living creatures. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Technoblade, god of blood." Rather than lower his sword Technoblade only raised it higher and got more angered.
"How do I know you aren't lying, and how do you know who I am?" With a sigh, you stepped forward and moved the sword away from your face, only for Techno to put it right back where it was.
"Well obviously turning into butterflies and jumping from great heights isn't something that just anyone could do, and I know who you are because I've spoken with a little birdie friend of yours." You let out a soft laugh, finding humor in his distress.
"You know Philza?" Techno lowered his sword, but still kept his guard up in case of a surprise attack.
"Well of course, what other bird would I be talking about? Anyways back to your horse." You let out a long and loud whistle, then simply stood there for a moment.
"What was that?" Though before you even needed to answer, Carl came galloping into view.
"Carl!" Technoblade was quick to greet his four-legged friend, glad that he was ok. Upon turning around though Techno found that you were nowhere in sight. Where did you go? Were you even real in the first place?
Deciding not to think on it too much Technoblade hoped onto Carl and started on the ride home.
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Getting home was easy, as was putting Carl away. Though what made going into his home so difficult was that white letter taped to his door. The envelope had no markings on the outside, the only key to who it came from being the butterfly stamped into the wax seal.
Rather than go into his own home Technoblade marched over, and into, Philza's home. Not even bothering to shed his cape or boots Techno marched right over to where Phil stood in the kitchen and started speaking.
"Have you ever met a god by the name (y/n)? They're the good of all the animals or something like that?" A surprised look crossed Phil's face before he nodded and smiled.
"Ah yes, I do remember someone like that, though it's been a while so we've talked last. Why do you ask?"
"Because I met them today. They knew who I am and helped me find Carl, that's not why I'm here though. They somehow left this letter at my door and I want to know why."
"Well did you read it? How are you so sure it's them?" Phil looked at the envelope in Technoblade's hands and quirked a brow.
"I know it's them because of this," Techno raised the letter and pointed to the wax seal.
"It's the same butterfly as the ones they turned into. And, uh no I didn't even think to read it, just came right over here." Technoblade contemplated reading it, what reason would you have for sending him a letter anyway.
In one swift motion, Philza reached over and yanked the letter from his hands. Now with it in his own hands, Phil immediately opened the envelope and pulled out the paper inside. Though before he could unfold and read what it said, it was yanked from him by Techno.
"The letter's for me, not you." With that said Techno cast his gaze downwards towards the paper, might as well read it now.
The letter was short, only a few lines written on the paper. In summary, it said that (y/n) was thankful for Techno's appearance and that they stop by sometime soon, whether intentionally or not.
After reading that letter Techno handed it to Phil, he was sure the winged man would want to read it anyways.
"Hm, maybe you should." Techno looked confused at Phil's words.
"Should what?"
"Go visit, not only will the change in scenery be nice but it would be nice for you to have a friend."
"I have friends."
"Not counting me and the syndicate." Technoblade rolled his eyes, what does he need friends for. He has Phil, the dogs, Carl, and the syndicate, he doesn't need anything more.
With a quick goodbye, Techno grabbed the letter and left. Though as he undressed and changed into nightwear for the night he couldn't help but think of (y/n). Technoblade had never read anything about them in any books or heard any stories about a nature god by that name.
With one final sigh, the piglin climbed into bed, determined to find out if you are who you really claim to be.
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mggswhorificlover · 9 months ago
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never go back
Summary: spencer notices how your boyfriend takes advantage of you and finally does something about it.
TW: titty sucking, oral (female receiving), cheating, dom!spencer, scratching, slapping (only one), cursing, choking, spencer dirty talk lol, penetrative sex, creampie. *let me know if i missed anything*
WC: 3,724
A/N - i'm using noah as the 'other man' schtick in probably all of my future one shots bc i can't find it within myself to create a new character each and every time. so your douche of a bf will always be noah miller. if you ever get a nice bf i'll be sure to change his name but for now this is what we're working with. got it? got it.
masterlist
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there are many things that people should go back to. schooling, maybe an old job, an old vacation spot.
your boyfriend was not one of those things.
mostly because your boyfriend sucked.
it was now a fact that spencer reid himself had come to believe quite a while ago and now, well now he had reason.
he had always felt as though you were too good for noah, similar for practically anyone in existence (himself included). he was always a complete ass to you no matter the circumstance.
there was one time the entire team had been back really late from a case that took a toll on all of you. it was emotionally and physically draining. the flight back had been delayed because of weather issues in the state you had been in, meaning you couldn't leave until days after it was solved.
any time you had gone to answer the phone, spencer would be able to see your stance and body language through the glass window. you had been apologizing for something you couldn't even control. you would narrow your brows the way you only did when you were being yelled at. you bit your lip the way you did when you were being made to feel guilty.
he was guilt tripping you for something you couldn't even control.
when you had gotten back it wasn't any better. noah had been giving you the cold shoulder. he was defensive when you asked what was wrong.
and that was only 3 weeks into the relationship.
after being together for 2 months, you had gotten flowers delivered on your desk. you assumed they were from your boyfriend, reasonably so, and went to go thank him. spencer saw the shock in your eyes when you saw your boyfriend huddled in the corner with some new intern. spencer saw the look in your eye change from sadness to anger in the blink of his own.
you took a deep breath, and walked away from the situation, completely missing the way he tucked the intern's hair behind her ear as he leaned in to whisper something to make her giggle. when you got back to your desk you threw the flowers in the garbage can, not even bothering to read the note.
it was pretty indirect, but looking into it he realized it was an issue that should've been addressed. every time the team would go out together, everyone was clearly invited. you would always decline because 'noah wanted to take me out tonight' or 'noah said he needs me, so i'll have to rain check'.
it wasn't because you were a bad person, the opposite actually. it was because noah was taking advantage of your kindness.
because any time you needed him, 'noah's out with the boys' or 'noah had to work late' or, here's a kicker, 'noah had a hard time at work'. as if you don't have a hard time looking at dead bodies while he just has to write up reports.
even when you got injured during a case, shot in the shoulder, noah seemed as though he couldn't have cared less. he wouldn't even go to your apartment to visit you while you were in recovery because 'noah didn't have time to visit'.
spencer could even recall when you went out with the girls one night, spencer being the designated driver, that you had told them how 'noah didn't want you to dress too provocatively so you had to wear something more modest'.
now, spencer doesn't care all to much about what you wear because, frankly, it's none of his business. but now that he heard how noah cared oh-so-much, he decided to wrack his brain for the 'provocative' outfits you've worn. there was not a single one that anyone should make a comment about. you looked stunning no matter what you wore, so you'd grab any man's attention no matter the clothing on your body.
but spencer? he made sure to never be that much of an asshole to you. he made sure to make up for him being an asshole.
he would grab you some morning coffee like you always had before you had a boyfriend. he would make sure to tell you that you looked lovely when you were able to go out with the team. he would visit you when you injured yourself and were lonely, he even stayed back for a few days with you to help you get through it.
hell, he was the one to get you the flowers. you had been having a rough week and spencer thought it might cheer you up. he had gifted you a bouquet of 12, blue chiffon flowers because those were your favorite.
but this was his breaking point. you had come to his apartment, once again in the middle of the night, talking about noah fucking miller cheating on you.
he had done it once before when he was 'out with the boys' you decided to stop by when he said he'd be back, wanting to just be the amazing girlfriend that you are. so when you walk in and hear your boyfriend moaning along with another woman that isn't you, you immediately run back out. you run back out and drive all the way to spencer's.  
and here you are again. spencer wasn't mad at you, it was noah he was mad at. he couldn't believe what he was hearing.
spencer had always liked you, no, he's always loved you. everything about you. how could he not? you're perfect.
but loving you how he does and seeing you being used as a toy to fuck for a certain noah miller not only made his heart ache but also made his blood boil.
spencer wasn't an idiot. he had heard the way the old morgan had referred to women. the thing is, noah is way more of a fuckboy than the old morgan ever was. and that scared spencer to pieces. he knew that you would only be missing out on team outings just to get fucked by a douchebag. he knew that the only reason said douchebag wouldn't visit you was because you couldn't fuck. he knew that the reason said douchebag was cornering that intern was to fuck her, too.
so when you arrived at spencer's place, this time you weren't crying. you were furious. you were angry and upset, as was spencer.
"he did it again, spence," you breathed out as you paced across his living room floor. "i was supposed to meet him in a few hours but i was going to surprise him and i caught him with another tramp! i didn't even confront him. i just- i just left!"
"cheated? noah?" he asked as if he didn't believe it at first, not wanting to seem like as much of a dick as noah.
"yes! cheated. god! i am so ANGRY!" you ran your hand through your hair, a grunt leaving your mouth. "and... and frustrated! and... UGH!" you sighed aggressively.
"and what?" spencer asked as he stood up, slowly making his way to you. "what else?" he said, his hand now brushing that stubborn strand of hair behind your ear.
"i-i'm..." you trailed off, getting lost in his beautiful eyes.
if you were honest with yourself, you'd admit how much you loved spencer. but you thought he'd never love you like that. not since you helped him through jj getting married. he really thought she was it for him, at least that's what you'd come to think he believed. over the years you had grown so much closer and grown such an attraction for each other that the other person knew about. it was ironic, truly.
"say it, y/n," spencer leaned over you, his lips ghosting over yours. "i need to hear you say it."
"god, just kiss me," you said, your hands flying to the back of his hair to push his mouth to yours.
there was no hesitation from spencer to give you everything he had. his hand on the side of your face remained there as his other hand drifted to your waist to pull you closer to his body. your tongues met fervently with covetous, passion, and longing yet with just gentle firmness that felt protecting and as if it was how everything was supposed to be.
"please, spencer," you quietly whispered once you unlatched from one another.
"please what, princess," he asked, his hand running through your hair.
"i just... i need you," she pleaded with him, her hands still tugging gently on his hair. "please," you put your foreheads together, breathing in each others air as you silently begged him to help you in any way that he could.
"i'd do anything for you," he whispered so delicately as if the entire team were standing right beside you. "you know i'd do anything for you."
"then do something," you demanded.
spencer took action by kissing you just as intensely as before, this time his hands went to your ass. he grabbed your thighs to signal for you to jump, once you did you wrapped your legs around his torso as he carried you into his bedroom. he set you down just in front of the bed before you began to undo his shirt, him returning the favor by undoing yours.
"god, i've wanted you for so long," he growled, nipping gently at your earlobe as he laid you back on the bed. "lift your hips," he ordered, you obeyed his every command. you always would. "good girl," he praised as he ran his hands down your now bare waist.
"please," you begged, your hips bucking up to get any source of friction. "spencer..." you trailed off.
"i know, princess. i know," he said before climbing on top of you, connecting your lips with his once again, this time much more eager than before if that were possible.
as you arched your back, he took the opportunity to unclasp the hook on your bra. you shrugged it off your shoulders to allow him to throw the bra somewhere else in his room. he finally took a breath, removing his lips from yours to admire the view in front of him.
"god, you're so beautiful," he growled before placing gentle but eager kisses along the tops of your breasts, massaging the one his mouth wasn't on.
he pressed his knee between your legs, allowing you to buck your hips up to get that release you wanted so bad. you whined as he took your nipple in his mouth, his tongue flicking past it rapidly as he occasionally nibbled on it gently.
"spen-spencer," you ran your hands through his hair, tugging gently on the roots.
"mmm," he sat his head up, trailed kisses up your throat. "god, i love you so much."
"i-i love you," you moaned, pulling his head up to connect your lips together. "i love you so so much."
"i'm so glad to hear that," he huffed a sigh of relief. "because otherwise it'd be awkward when i did this," he began trailing kisses down your body, leading down towards your center. "i'll show you what it's like to be with a man that actually loves and respects you, yea? show you what it feels like to actually be pleased by a man? what it's like to be with a real man?" he teased.
his fingers trailed around your entrance, gathering your arousal that'd been building for what felt like ages. he pressed gentle kisses around your pussy before finally connecting his lips with your clit, a low groan emitting from your body because of the contact.
"yes, please," you shot your head back, relishing in the feeling of the direct skin contact.
"hey," spencer slapped your thigh, your head shot back up to see him between your legs, a truly beautiful sight that you'd never get tired of. "eyes on me," he demanded before going back down on you, not breaking eye contact as he brought out sounds from you that you weren't even sure you could make. "talk to me, princess. let me know how it feels."
"fe-feels so good," you sighed, taking your breasts in your hands and massaging them. "i-i can-can't even think," you stuttered out, too caught up in the pleasure to form a coherent sentence.
you had felt so good as he sucked on your clit, succeeding in bringing you closer to the edge than noah ever has, but when he inserted two fingers into your entrance...
"oh my fuck!" your hands shot down to grab onto his locks, pushing him further into your body, a low groan leaving him.
his fingers didn't stop their work. he curled them at just the right spot, sending you flying over the edge. spencer used his free hand to grab onto your thigh to keep them from closing in completely on his head, still working you through your high. he placed a kiss on your clit once more before he brought his head up to you, connecting your lips passionately.
"could noah ever make you come like that? huh? could he make you feel so good you could barely even think?" he grabbed your chin in his hands, holding it in place to look at him as you shook your head the best you could. "no?"
"mm-mm," you tried to shake your head 'no' once more.
"did you think of him while i was going down on you? were you thinking about how he fucked that little tramp?" he asked harshly, you shook your head 'no' again. "oh, what were you thinking, princess?" he finally released your face so you could speak.
"ab-about how well you know my body. about how, how good you looked between my legs. about how much i love you," you replied quickly, knowing exactly what to say.
"right answer," he connected your lips once more. "what do you want, love?" he asked, peppering soft kisses along your jaw where his hands once held your throat firmly.
"you. i-i want you in-inside me," you swallowed, your hand finding his and pulling it up to your lips to press a kiss to it, then another, then another, then another. "please, doctor?" you used your best puppy dog eyes you knew he couldn't resist.
"god, call me that again," he rasped lowly.
"what... doctor?" you took his hand and started sucking on his fingers, letting them slip in and out slowly and then moving onto the next.
"fuck, yes," he growled as he pressed another kiss to your lips before lining himself up at your center. "are you sure, princess?" he traced your jaw with the fingers you were previously sucking on.
"yes, sir," you nodded. "i'm sure."
you felt him slowly push inside of you slowly to allow you to adjust to his size. you had your suspicions of how big he was, but feeling him inside of you made it all much more real.
"fuck, you're so tight," he moaned into your ear quietly as he slowly pulled back out, going in just as slow.
"sp-spence-"
"wrong," he slapped your face gently, a whimper leaving your lips before he grasped your face to make you look him in the eyes.
"doc-doctor," you corrected yourself.
"good girl," he said, feeling your pussy clench from the praise. "oh you like that?" he felt it again. "maybe you just like hearing me talk, yea?" his pace began picking up slowly. "you like hearing how this pussy makes me feel? how tight... and warm... and wet it is?"
"u--uh huh," you nodded your head the best you could as he began thrusting much more rapid, hitting that special spot inside of you with each movement.
"it seems like you haven't felt this good in a long time huh? haven't had your pussy pounded like this in a while?" he asked as he was catching his breath.
"ne-never, doctor," you confirmed, hands reaching around his back and dragging your nails down, surely leaving scratch marks all down them.
"fuck," he growled. "noah never made you feel this good princess? never made you forget how to speak in sentences? never knew how to get you going like this?"
"n-no, no! never! god, never!" you cried as you pulled his body even closer to you. "i-i'm close, please!"
"you wanna come all over my dick, yea? you want to show me how much your pussy loves it when a real man fucks it?"
that was it to let that spring burst inside of you, parts flying everywhere. you cried his name as he worked you through your orgasm, holding onto his shoulders and hair to keep you grounded.
"cum inside me, please," you begged. "fi-fill me up."
"fuck, whatever you want, princess," he kept pounding into you at a rapid pace. "god, i'm gonna come inside you, and send you back to that scumbag of a boyfriend so he can see that you're mine now. so he can see what happens when his girlfriend is mistreated and fucked by someone who knows what they're doing, yea?"
"yea, yea!" you whined, nails digging back into his skin as he released his load into you, thrusting it gently back inside after.
"god, i love you so much," he moaned into your ear, pressing a kiss to your cheek by your ear.
"i love you," you replied, stroking his hair to help him come down, him still inside of you. he began thrusting inside of you once again.
"don't want any of it to spill out before you get to him," he felt you clench around him one more time. "you're very responsive, princess. i like that about you."
"it-it's just you, spence. it's always been you," you pulled him in for another kiss.
this one was full of passion but not the kind of eagerness. it was full of desire and longing, pent up emotions flowing out into one another fluidly.
"now let me go see my soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend," you huffed as he pulled out of you, wincing from the overstimulation. "i'll see you later?"
"i'll see you later," he pressed a kiss to your forehead before helping you gather your clothes.
driving back to his apartment, you felt rather giddy with yourself. should you have felt bad? absolutely not. he's a manipulative asshole who's used you for sex on numerous occasions, so he deserved the bittersweet irony of what was coming to him.
*get it, coming to him? lol i'm sorry i had to :)*
you knocked on the door softly, greeted by a rather chipper noah who grabbed your face as soon as he saw you, connecting your lips. his kiss was nothing like spencer's. his lips weren't as soft and tentative. they weren't plump and round, they were harsh and rough and unpleasant.
he quickly led you to the bedroom, not to your surprise. he sat down on the bed, you straddled his hips, acting as if it were spencer instead - which was pretty hard to do after knowing what he was like in the sack.
you felt his boner through his pants quickly after you got on top of him. then when he flipped you over and pulled your pants and underwear down, he was met with a surprise.
"someone's excited to see me," he chuckled before licking a thick stripe from your slit to clit, very aggressive to where it almost hurt to have the pressure. "god you taste so good, doll."
he continued at this for a while, inserting his tongue to your hole very once in a while and licking up yours and spencer's arousal with it. you faked your moans and whimpers as his ministrations became more eager, not really getting you anywhere.
after he was finished with your turn - no, he didn't even make you cum - he laid back on the bed as if he were waiting for you to get on top of him again.
"actually," you stood up from the bed, pulling up your clothes with you. "i'm done with this. we're over."
you watched his face as he took in the information just released to him. it changed from surprised and shocked, to confused, to disgusted, to angry and frustrated.
"what the fuck?" he sat up from the bed, a disgruntled look on his face. "you wait until after you cum to tell me this?" he walked over to you, arms flailing in the air.
"yea. i did. and by the way, i didn't cum," you informed him. "that's something you've never really been good at making me do. although i'm not sure how you've been able to convince me to do anything with the way you treat me."
"what do you mean? i'm a good gu-"
"shut up for one second, please," you rolled your eyes, running your hand through your hair. "i know you've cheated on me numerable times. i stayed because i thought that maybe there was a reason, but i've come to realize that i was just... settling with you," you shrugged.
"you've treated me like crap since this 'relationship' started and i'm tired of it. i know someone who not only treats me with respect and kindness, but can also actually make me cum. shocker," you chuckled.
"who is this asshole? what the hell-"
"i wasn't finished, sweetie," you spat out viciously. "he's not an asshole. you're the asshole. you're the one that's getting dumped. so this is goodbye," you turned around to walk out of his room before leaving him with one more thought. "how did his cum taste with mine?" you tilted your head innocently, smiling at his shocked face as he realized what you meant before walking out.
and you were never more glad that you didn't have to go back to him anymore.
taglist:
@muffin-cup​ @greenprisca​ @averyhotchner​ 
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violetarks · a month ago
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"We're Not Cut Out For Romance."
anime: tokyo revengers
character: sano 'mikey' manjiro, mitsuya takashi
summary: y/n wants no help with her life, not even if it's from the person who has the most experience resembling her situation.
a/n: episode 18 and onwards spoilers, manga spoilers, mentions of suicide, death, domestic abuse, I also do not know the exact model of Kazutora's bike, so I just searched, masterlist for series here
taglist: @chaoticyuna @erishaitto @kenmas-xbox @chosoisbaby @lagrimasdeglitter
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"Wh—..." Mikey begins, feeling is throat go dry as Y/N stares directly at him, "What?"
Her hands are gripping the hem of her shirt. Her smile is still evident, but just slightly. She's looking down at the table. "I said that Kazutora means more to me than the love I have for you." Y/N states, holding her shirt tightly, "Since you were my world, my brother is now my universe."
She's looking up to the night sky, the sound of the times just buzzing around them. Some peace and quiet would be nice. "It's just that..." She begins, finding her throat feeling tight in this situation, "No matter how much you mean to me, I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive you, and it's not because I don't understand."
Mikey watches as she twirls a strand of hair in between her fingers. She's saying these things so easily, as if for the first time. She sighs, trying to loosen up, "Kazutora took your brother away from you, so I don't expect you to forgive him. I'd kill the person who did that to me if I wanted to."
He's shivering at that. Her claim that she'd do the same.
"But that doesn't mean my feelings against it is invalid." Y/N states, halting her movements as she watches the stars, "I miss him everyday, even though he'd hate me for what I am now. You must've heard me at the cemetery. I'd erase all of our history if it meant Kazutora would be here."
But he can't refute that because he knows that he'd do the same for Shinichiro.
Y/N is searching. He can see it in the way she scans each and every star in the sky. He may not know what she's looking for, but it's definitely something.
"You're not allowed to pick both sides. That's the one thing I've really learnt and kept with me from my parents. They always made me and Kazutora pick who we thought was right." She states, arms crossed over her chest loosely as the wind blows. Mikey is looking up too. Maybe he'd find what she was looking for.
She explains, "Our mother would sit next to me and Kazu while we were playing in the living room or eating at the table and ask if we sided with her, all the while our dad was at work." She plays with the hem of her shirt. She's never told anyone about this. "She'd always say 'you two know I'm the victim, right?' or 'you'd choose me over your dad, wouldn't you?', and we'd always have to say 'yes'."
He sees the way her expression turns cold at the memory. Bittersweet, almost the worst kind of nostalgia. "Because if we didn't, she'd cry more and more and go on about how we hated her for everything. Make us feel bad, instead of just getting us out of there. Kazu was eight and I was seven when it started, right after my birthday." Y/N goes on, dropping her smile, "She was always the victim, making Father, Kazutora and I the villains in all these twisted ways. Our father just assumed we were on his side because he was scary as shit. But in reality, it was always just me and Kazutora."
She squints at the sky a little. "We never liked them." She admits, "We'd lie and say 'yes, Mother, we are on your side. We still love you, Mother. We don't like Father, he is a bad man and you are doing nothing wrong, Mother'. We were always the ones comforting, and Kazutora took it upon himself to get me away from that. So I met you and the rest of Toman."
But Y/N huffs out, furrowing her brows, "There's only ever the good and the bad, and it's always up to you to pick which is which. Even if you're wrong, if you fight hard enough for it and just... keep talking and persuading them, you'll be right. In the end."
Mikey freezes. He's hearing Kazutora all over again, and it's freaking him the Hell out. He thought he destroyed every trace of that guy.
She lets out a large sigh from her lips, eyes locked on the star shining the brightest, "I can't side with both you and Kazutora. So I pick my brother." Mikey is looking back at her, heart racing at the similarities between her and her brother. He wish this was a nightmare. "Because he might be right. The Hanemiya siblings are not cut out for romance. Not with how we were brought up."
Y/N suddenly looks to Mikey. She places her hands on the table, holding her drink and drawing the trim of it over and over again. "You asked if I was over you." She recalls, making him glance up at her, "I'd have to say that I'm not quite sure. Because you were such a significant person in my life. You can't forget someone like that, no matter how hard you want to."
Mikey, who has been her first love for the past seven years, is someone who Y/N will not forget. She refuses to. Well, nobody really forgets their first relationship, it's the beginning experience for love.
But Y/N always thought she was way too eager.
Kazutora had always told her that he hated those happy families. Since he was little, he's disliked the idea of romance. Their parents' example that was shown, was all Kazutora needed to realise he hated marriage and all that junk. Sure, he might've kissed a few people or find some of them really attractive, but that was just to fill some void that he wanted to get rid of.
However, Y/N was the opposite. She was seeking a romance better than the one her mother and father held. She didn't want to end up the same, having her daughter hand her ice packs for her black eye and ask if they really loved each other. Y/N wasn't dating for break-up and heartache; she was dating for marriage. For having someone stay for the rest of her life.
There was Mikey.
Kazutora was admittedly hesitant with letting Y/N meet the Toman, since he knew his friends weren't exactly 'good boys'. Baji had met Y/N first and Kazutora told himself that if anyone was to date his sister, he believed Baji would be the best option. But then Mikey came.
The two hit it off immediately and Kazutora had never expected them to. When Y/N admitted to her brother that she had feelings for Mikey, he was going to shut it down, tell her romance was not something they should dabble in after everything they've witnessed. But she was just so hopeful and stuck to Mikey and wanting to find something that could cover the vision of love they were given by their parents.
She needed Mikey. Or she believed so.
Even at that time, Kazutora knew his sister wouldn't be able to make friends the right way, just as he couldn't. Like Mikey, he knew Y/N hung onto everyone who acted remotely like family. Almost too pushy to keep them, so they'd leave.
Y/N, at 10-years-old, had Kazutora as her best friend whilst Kazutora at 12-years-old had Baji. The only person she knew would stay for real was him, after all, they were brother and sister.
So having someone willing to stay and love her involuntarily, was a beautiful revelation. Mikey was a great wonder. Y/N held him so close to her heart, right next to the place Kazutora was.
Losing the both of them in the same day to different causes broke Y/N.
There was no one left.
Yet here was Mitsuya, who stayed with her the whole entire time. The guy who loved her from the moment he made her laugh. Something about her, whether it be how she acted around his sisters and took care of them, or how she looked after him. It broke him to hear that Y/N was with Mikey back then, or rather seeing them.
Mitsuya was always able to eavesdrop on conversations, but with Mikey it was harder. So imagine his surprise when he doesn't get caught listening in on Y/N and Mikey's conversation. The whole 'do you have a crush on me?' conversation. And then seeing Mikey kiss her. Y/N's first kiss, from her first boyfriend.
So he stayed by her side as everything went on. Her best friend who was good at fashion and was able to stitch up anything ruined. Asking him about what she should wear on a date with Mikey. Wanting to borrow his shoes since it matched her outfit. He took that spot reserved for Kazutora while he was gone.
Of course, Y/N always thought that Kazutora would stay the same. She thought she had three people in her heart. Mikey, Kazutora and Mitsuya.
Even at Bloody Halloween, Mitsuya was the first to move to protect Y/N from what Mikey was. He covered her from it, trying to keep her idea of Mikey to what it has always been. He didn't want her to be ruined by this, at least trying to keep her from it. He cared for her, so if she was going to be happy, Mikey would need to stay the same in her eyes. That's why he was running to Y/N as soon as he saw her move towards Kazutora and Mikey.
'I can't have you getting hurt', he told her. He never wanted her getting hurt. He let her stay over that night, and for a few more after that, because he loved her. He loved her enough to let her be happy with Mikey. He could wait.
Y/N sees the way Mikey looks at her. Still in a daze by the proclamation, but now even more worried. He speaks out, "Are you saying there's no way for me to help you?"
"I think you've done enough for me, Manjiro." She huffs to him, leaning forward and holding her chin, "I mean, have you seen everything I am now? Toman's leader, a freaking waitress and I got my shit together. I haven't been late to any of my classes in years, and I'll be taking Toman and Emma to the city. I'll be doing so much."
"That doesn't mean you're better." Mikey says, furrowing his brows as he listens to what she says, "You're obviously not happy anymore. You... You have to do something. No one can live like this for long."
Y/N retorts, tilting her head down, "Well I can't exactly run away from everything like you did." She leans forward, suddenly hardening her glare towards him. "I don't want to make the same mistake and leave everything for someone else to pick up."
Mikey stands up, hands on the table as the chair screeches. A whirl of emotions runs through his blood. "I'm not running away from you. You don't understand how serious this is, Y/N! I don't want to leave you alone!" He calls out, looking the most serious he's ever been, "Not when you need me at a time like this."
Y/N stares at him in such astonishment. "I don't understand how serious it is?" She mumbles out, "At this moment, I believe I'm the only person who understands how serious it is, because you were in my position when you were Toman's leader."
Mikey's silent at that, which makes Y/N sigh out, "I don't understand you. Why are you doing that?"
"Doing what?" He questions.
"Being my counterpart again." She says out in distaste, "It's like you just swapped our positions because you were sick of it or whatever. You didn't want to be whatever... this is. Why weren't you just happy with that? Why did I have to change?"
He crosses his arms over his chest, huffing out, "It wasn't about me being happy... You just—You didn't need me, anymore."
That's when she stands up, pushing the chair back silently before looking at him. She doesn't look mad, not at all.
But then she grabs the collar of his shirt, tugging him forward. He jolts, Y/N staring at him with unforgiving eyes. She scowls quietly at him, "Bullshit! Manjiro, I needed you the whole time you were gone, there was no one else who could've guided me through this better than you would. Did you get all those missed calls, those voicemails and texts left on read? Those dated back all the way to the day we broke up, and stopped once I became Toman's leader."
Mikey is holding onto her wrist gently, careful not to grip too tight. He's looking back at her, looking back into her eyes.
"My parents were gone to shit and split up after Kazutora's funeral, for good this time. None on them wanted to stay and they saw no reason to fight for custody, like I was some fucking loose end they didn't want to deal with anymore." She's hot around her neck as her anger builds up faster. She can feel her hands become clammy. "Because without Kazutora, I'm nothing. Draken, Emma and Takashi are keeping me together. And I didn't even want to speak about anything to them." Y/N claims, shaking her head at the memory.
Her parents were not good for her. Not at all. At some point, she realised this and wanted to get away from them both.
"There was not a single day where I didn't think about you." She tells him, voice wavering as she glares in his direction, "Manjiro, I... I really loved you and you turned me into everything I didn't want to be."
"It's my fault that you said all those things to Kazutora." He mumbles out quietly, "I'm sorry. Everything you feel... belongs to me."
Y/N stops, expression staying the same before she inhales.
She hated that.
"I said that of my own volition, Manjiro." She informed him, letting go of Mikey's shirt and hanging her head. Y/N rubs the back of her neck and closes her eyes tightly. "I would feel the exact same about it even if you stayed. Kazu would still be dead. It has nothing to do with you specifically. Just... me and my brother."
But Mikey doesn't believe so.
He's looking at the table. "I'm sorry for leaving you, Y/N." He says, placing his hands back onto the table. He's trying to seem non-threatening, giving her an unreadable look. He leans forward, letting his forehead rest against hers. "I'll take the blame for everything you've been through and all the hurt you've taken. Just don't keep going like this."
She's holding her breath, not used to being so close to him again. But, in return to what he says, Y/N closes her eyes and hums out, "I only blame you for Kazutora and abandoning Toman and Emma. Everything else that's happened... was me. You shouldn't take responsibility for someone else's work."
He gives a small smile as he feels her shift a little. "Well, I could always help make it better." He says. Hopefully. "Give me some things to do."
"Let me do it myself." Y/N retorts, furrowing her brows.
"Do you really want to?" He questions, not taking his gaze off of her.
She doesn't say anything at first, only closing her eyes. It felt oddly nice to be close to someone again. An old familiar feeling.
Mikey stands up straight in a hurry, making Y/N blink and look up at him. He holds his hands in his pockets and speaks, "How long do you think it'll take to trust me again?"
Y/N looks down to the table before sitting down. "I don't know. You haven't changed that much, you're just less willing to cover your real self... I guess." She states, glancing up to her ex with fingers pinching her forehead, "It's been a long time, I'm not even sure if the others have accepted you being back."
"Takemitchy, Draken and I talked together." Mikey claims, referring to her last statement. He's holding himself up as if this evidence would help. "I explained everything that night and what's been going on. He asked me not to treat you bad."
Y/N scoffs, "As if I'd let you do that again."
"What do I have to do to get your trust back?" Mikey questions, sitting himself down in front of her.
She's looking at her palms, fingers linked together on the table. "Just... don't fuck up, please." She says, knitting her brows a little as she considers her words, "If you're gonna to be back here to stay, then I want to be able to not worry about you. Emma and Draken just want to get to know you again. Please don't give me a reason to shut you out of our lives."
Mikey widens his eyes a little at that. He swallows his nerves before nodding his head, speaking up, "I won't. I promise."
She's hoping that he can trust Mikey here.
Y/N hums in response, picking up her drink and sipping from it, "Good. Can I get some time to myself?"
He immediately nods his head, taking her empty bowl and cup inside after asking if she was finished. When the door shuts closed, Y/N is sliding in her chair, pushing it back from the table and holding her head in her hands.
Her whole exterior crumbles once again, unable to hold herself up for much longer. She hated having serious talks about those kind of things. Usually, she'd wait to be in her room to clear her tension out and just... cry. And Mitsuya would help.
"Fucking Hell..." She mumbles to herself, holding in her tears as she closes her eyes tightly. Her fingers laced through her hair and she sat in her chair, chest heavy and head spinning. "I just want a month off... but I have so much going on at this time."
But, as always, she stands up and takes a deep breath. Maybe a ride around town would help. It's 7:30 PM, she should let off some steam.
"Heading out for a drive." Y/N says, entering the house again quickly and making her way upstairs. She was trying to avoid questions.
But Draken speaks up. "At this time?" He calls out to Y/N, making her stop half-way up the stairs. She turns to her Vice Commander. "It's pretty late, and you have school tomorrow. Are you okay?"
Everyone's eyes are on Y/N. She's got tingles up her neck at the fact they're all so invested. She huffs, "I'll be back at a reasonable time... Need to, um, test something out."
Draken goes to ask more when Emma waves at her friend. "Okay! Have fun, Y/N!" She calls, letting Y/N nod her head at them and return to her room.
Mikey's sitting in the solo chair, watching over Y/N as he drinks from his glass. He used to pick up Y/N to have midnight bike rides and just fuck around. Maybe she'd just be by herself tonight. So he doesn't say anything about it.
Y/N shuts the entrance door of the house, keys in hand and jacket over her shoulders.
She moves towards the garage, pulling it open and staring at her bike. She contemplates grabbing the helmet, but leaves it alone. The best part of night drives was the wind blowing passed your face.
Y/N goes to push the stand out from her bike, a sigh leaving her lips.
Kazutora's bike.
BSA Rocket 3 model. Kazutora's bike. Y/N's now.
She had jobs done on it, adjusting it to her tastes, just as Kazutora did when he first got out of juvie. For example, the tires weren't able to act out drifts on high speeds like Draken's bike. Of course, this was because both bikes had altercations done. So Y/N changed it.
But she kept the tiger symbol that Kazutora had mentioned he wanted plastered on his bike. She out it on once she inherited it after joining Toman.
Her hands graze over the symbol.
"Whatcha' up to now? Seem to always get crazy ideas after dinner."
Y/N glances up to driveway.
Mitsuya is standing there, hands in his pockets as he watches Y/N put the stand back out from the bike. Her hands are shaking on the handles and she's biting her lip to stop the tears from pouring over. But as soon as Mitsuya begins to reach a hand out to her, she'd done for.
Tears are pouring out from her eyes and it's too late to stop it.
"Takashi..." She gasps out quietly, already walking over with her head hung low. She collides into him, face nudged into his shoulder as his arms go tightly around her.
"It's alright." He mumbles out, rubbing her back slowly as tears drench his shirt. She's shaking, and that's the only think that is on Mitsuya's mind. 'Help her, make her okay again', he tells himself. "Tell me what's wrong. Did something happen at Kazutora's grave?"
She holds on tighter to Mitsuya's jacket, turning her head a little. He can feel her shoulders tense at the question, making him frown. "I'm just... I don't feel good, Takashi." She sniffles, furrowing her brows and pulling her head away from his shoulder, "I'm not getting any better. At all."
She wipes her face, forehead resting against his shoulder. "Need to get away." She murmurs.
Mitsuya nods his head, taking the keys from her hands. "I'll drive. Sit in front again?" He says, walking towards the bike with Y/N still in his arms, her walking backwards with her face against his chest. He was warm. So she nods her head.
Y/N sets herself in her spot, wiping her face as Mitsuya sits behind her, turning the key and revving the engine.
They drive out of the garage and Mitsuya makes sure to close it before heading off into the night.
It's a quite time and the only warmth Y/N is getting is from Mitsuya. His chest is against her back again and he's got one hand on the handle, the other around her waist and keeping her in place. The air blowing against them makes Y/N's tears dry easily. One hand rested on her lap as the other laced through Mitsuya's fingers.
A silent plead for him not to let go.
8:50 PM and they're at the place that she first met everybody. Some old, tarnished overpass of a giant river. Not many people went here, which made it better for Y/N. She just wanted peace and quiet.
She remembers that day so easily. She was dressed for school when Kazutora, who walked with her to class and such, dragged her away. Their parents were fighting that morning and he suddenly snapped. They didn't deserve 'perfect daughter Y/N', who always had good grades and tried to wake up on time after listening to their harsh conversation at night.
So he introduced them to Toman, hoping she'd be able to have real friends. Not those people their parents said would be beneficial to hang around with.
Baji was the first to speak to her. 'You're really pretty! No way you're Kazutora's sister!', he said to Y/N. He was welcoming and nice and very out-spoken. Y/N found it easy to carry a conversation with him.
Pah and Draken were sensible, nodding at her and introducing themselves. Y/N really felt young compared to them, who seemed pretty mature.
Mitsuya was very kind. She could tell by the way he spoke to her. 'It's nice to finally meet you', he claimed, shaking her hand, 'Kazutora's mentioned you a bit'.
And there was Mikey, who seemed like an airhead and didn't want anything to do with her. Said his name and that he was Toman's Commander before stringing the boys along for some game or whatever. Y/N followed.
For years, she followed Mikey.
She leans against the stone fencing, sitting beside Mitsuya. He's holding her keys in his pocket, glancing at her for a moment. Y/N has her knees up to her chest, arms laid beside her. He waits a second for a reaction or a word. But there's nothing. He holds her hand in his.
Y/N still wasn't used to this.
How gentle Mitsuya was with her.
It kind of made her nervous sometimes.
"What happened?" He asks.
"Mikey turned up at Kazutora's grave and interrupted me." She explains, making Mitsuya's brows raise. Her eyes are on the bike in front of them. "He heard what I said to Kazutora and just... I—I can't, I didn't..."
Mitsuya squeezes her hand. "Hey, it's alright. Take your time." He tells her, giving a reassuring smile. She gets a little nervous at that. "Did Chifuyu go with you today?" She nods her head. "Alright. What did you say to Kazutora? What did Mikey interrupt?"
She doesn't want to say. She's scared of what Mitsuya will say.
'Please, not another person to find out', she pleads herself, 'It should only be me. No one else needs to know about this'.
"I gave Kazutora this year's earrings." She finally says, swallowing all the fear in her lungs, "I just said I missed him and that... that I wish I was with him again."
Mitsuya doesn't know what to make of the last one. But at this point, Y/N's cried too many times in the past few days for it to be good to ask. Everyone has limits and she hit hers ages ago. Time heals.
He rubs her outer palm. "I know Mikey's been gone for a long time, but I'll talk to him about giving you that day to yourself." He states, looking determined, "But from now on, I would like to come with you. You need support and I don't like the idea of you being there alone anymore."
Y/N looks at him. Mitsuya is serious. The way her eyes can't tear away from his. "Please, let me accompany you whenever you go." He says, clasping her hands in his own, "I want to help you get better."
She nods her head slowly, allowing Mitsuya to engulf her in yet another tight embrace. She closes her eyes, chin on his shoulder as her arms go around his chest. He's holding her, keeping her together as best as he can.
Mitsuya knows Y/N doesn't tell him everything. But he's trying. He really is. After years of watching Y/N grow and become the person he did still in fact love, this is the hardest period to watch. Her lowest point.
He would rather pick out her wedding dress for marrying Mikey than pick out the right bandages for her newly-given wound.
He squeezes her tighter. Head in her shoulders. Brows knitted as he keeps them together. Sane.
His phone buzzes in his pocket. He pulls away, reluctantly, to see that it's Draken. Kind of weird.
"Sorry, give me a few minutes. It's Draken." He says, hands away from Y/N and on his phone. She's cold again. "We should head home after this, alright? Your on class duty tomorrow morning."
Y/N gives a nod, hands on her lap as she watches Mitsuya stand and answer his call. He takes a few steps away from Y/N, just in case it was something regarding Toman. Now was not the right time to tell her.
"Hey, Draken." Mitsuya sighs out, hand in his pocket as he holds the phone to his ear, "What's up?"
Draken on the other side is a little frazzled. Or at least he sounds like it. "Are you with Y/N?" He questions in a large huff of air, "I've got something to talk to her about but she left her phone here."
Mitsuya looks over his shoulder to see Y/N playing with the hem of her shirt. He turns back away and responds, "Um, yeah, I am. She just needs some time to relax. We're heading back after this." He kicks the rock on the floor. "What's it about?"
"Our meeting is the day after tomorrow, about bringing in that other gang organisation into Toman." Draken stated, making Mitsuya recognise the event, "I've got to ask her about her plan. With the new members and Kisaki."
"Kisaki?" Mitsuya murmurs, "What's Kisaki got to do with it?"
After Bloody Halloween, Kisaki had taken up Mikey's position by being the 'Acting Commander'. The two kept in touch after that event. But one day, Mikey just... disappeared from him too. So Kisaki couldn't give his orders and started doing whatever, manipulating Toman for a few weeks.
Draken and the Captains had overthrown Kisaki because of that, becoming a collective Commander to Toman once Kisaki stepped down from his position. After Y/N's graduation, she became the new Toman Commander after being appointed so by Draken, Mitsuya, Takemichi and the rest of the Captains and Vice Captains.
She was smart and knew a lot about them. So she'd do what she could. No one had heard of Kisaki for years now. Many people thought he left. But it seemed not.
"He's back. He met up with Y/N before her classes a few days ago." Draken explains, making Mitsuya knit his brows in confusion. He didn't know this. And nobody but the Captains and Vice Commander should know where Y/N went to school. It was a problem that Kisaki found out.
"Apparently, Kisaki wanted back in with Toman and threatened to spill her life to everyone. He's a part of the new members joining." Draken states, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't like it either. "But Y/N told me she has a plan for Kisaki, said she didn't trust him still."
Mitsuya is quiet. Why would Y/N bring him back if he was bad news? He grunts, "Shit... Okay, we're coming home now." He turns around, eyes on the ground as he walks towards Y/N. "I'll tell her. Can you pick up Luna and Mana? We're staying over."
"Sure, I'll bring Emma so they won't get scared. Is that cool?" Draken questions.
. . .
Silence.
. . .
"Mitsuya? Hey, you there?"
Mitsuya grunts, hands pushing into the stone of the fencing as he shakes. He's breathing heavily and his vision is blurry. He can hear Draken's shouts from the phone at the feet, but he can't reach down to grab it.
He sucks in his breath, arm hurting like Hell, "Shit... Damn it..."
"What the Hell is going on? Answer me!" Draken calls, only hearing Mitsuya's hefty inhales and exhales, making him worry.
Takemichi and Hinata had already gone home, a few minutes after Y/N had left. It was just Mikey, Emma and Draken at the Sano-Hanemiya residence now. The siblings had heard the commotion and entered the living room to see what was wrong.
"Is that Mitsuya?" Emma questions, holding onto Draken's overcoat.
Draken clicks his tongue in worry, "Yeah, fuck... He's not answering me."
Mikey widens his eyes. "Is he with Y/N?" He questions in anxiousness. Goosebumps arise on his skin when Draken nods his head. He rushes to the door. "Grab your bike, Kenny. We have to find them."
The Vice Commander wastes no time, grabbing Emma's hand and tugging her along. He knew Emma would be able to help with Y/N in any situation. Mikey worried. Because this was not the right time for things to go bad. Not when she's out there feeling like that.
"We'll split up." Draken says, seating Emma behind him as he starts his bike, "You take North, we'll take the South end."
Mikey doesn't hesitate to head in his direction. He needed to find them quick.
The overpass was high, the river beneath deep and always moving. They knew this because when they were little, the Toman Founders and Y/N and Emma would hang out at the river. It was cleaner at that time, even though it was fairly kept now. The boys would splash around and swim a little. Emma and Y/N would laugh and talk the whole time.
But the point was that the river was deep.
Mitsuya grit his teeth, fingers gripping harshly on his side of the stone wall, body over the top of it as he furrows his brows. He's still heavily breathing and he can't hear Draken. He probably hung up. It was for the best, because Mitsuya needed to focus.
"Tch..." He scoffs out, feeling his shoulder begin to hurt too quickly, "What the Hell...? I—... shit!"
Y/N is watching him intently, both hands shaking as she sees the scene in front of her. She can feel the tears bubbling up inside her again and holy shit, she wants to stop. She wants to end this feeling in her chest that tells her that it's her fault.
Mitsuya is looking directly back at her. His heart is pounding in his chest so loudly that he can't hear his phone ringing over and over again. Mikey's name pops up on the screen. Hundreds of times. Mikey's calling him. But Mitsuya is not listening. He's busy trying to rid of the pain growing in his shoulders and arms.
He's got his own tears welling up in his eyes. And they fall down.
Onto Y/N's cheeks as she stares up at him.
Mitsuya scowls, gazing at Y/N intensely, "Don't you fucking let go, you hear me?" Her gaze is blank against him, making him grit his teeth again. "Y/N. Hey! Are you listening to me?"
He can't stop the tears from dropping, all dripping down his cheek and hitting her face. One lands on her own cheek, as if she was crying. Her eyes stay on his.
Y/N's forearm is squeezed tightly in Mitsuya's right hand as gravity tries to drag her down into the river.
The only restraint is this lovesick boy holding her up and clinging to the stone barrier for their lives, trying to stop her from dropping into the water.
Y/N's breathing slowly as Mitsuya's fingers hold tightly onto her limb, brows furrowed and lip wobbling. His face is red as tears continue to pour over.
Mitsuya suddenly calls out, stopping the ringing in Y/N's ears, "Y/N! Listen to me! N—Nothing will ever be the same if you're not there with me!" He's never felt so emotional in his whole entire life. This moment — this is what he was meant to be here for. To protect Y/N. "You mean too much to me and I—I promise that whatever you're holding, I'll carry it for you! I said I'd help and I meant it, I will! Just... Just please give me a chance! I can't lose you!"
Another tear falls on her face. Mitsuya's tears are hot against her cold skin.
He's pleading.
'Please, God, I will do whatever I need to, just let her be okay. I need her here and I wouldn't be able to handle it if she leaves too. I want her here, with me, or not even with me. Just here. Please save her.'
Mitsuya's brows tilt upwards as he watches Y/N's face. She's watching him in awe. His reaction time was quick.
"I love you." Mitsuya calls out, trying his hardest to keep his voice straight and without cracks.
But he fails. Over and over again, he has failed. Not only with this.
Eyes blurred with his running and everlasting tears. He can feel his heart race. "So, please—"
She smiles, tears finally releasing from her eyes. "Let me go, Takashi."
221 notes · View notes
xpeachesncream · 8 months ago
Text
remy martin | one shot (jjk)
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first drink: remy martin
⇢ this is part of the ‘liquid courage’ mini series
summary: bars aren’t your thing, especially meeting men at said bars.
words: 7.1k
warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, y/n and her bestfriend playfully call each other 'bitch,' bar scene, alcohol consumption, intoxication, men and their assumptions, making out, unprotected sex (pls protection is your friend), clit play/pussy eating, fingering, nipple/breast play, hickeys, sprinkle of dirty talk, multiple orgasms, missionary, riding/straddling, some cum eating, size kink/mentions of a big dick, use of pet names, aftercare
tags: @we8joon​ @preciouschimine​ @miinoongi​ @thebeebi​ @bluesharksandfish​ @asweeetdisposition​ @ggukkieland​ @unicornbabylover​
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Never in your life [as of recently, at least] would you have expected to have a fine, fine man balls deep into your pussy like this, but you know what, we'll get to the details later.
Your day started off slow, with work picking up mid-day and quite frankly, all you wanted to do was head the fuck home and catch up on Being Mary Jane with a huge glass of wine. Being Mary Jane was your shit because you wanted to channel your inner MJ after your own sad, cliché love story of boy cheats on girl. Your ex was a dumbass and you used to loathe Taehyung for what he did to you. You needed to get over this feeling, this void, this feeling of being empty and unwanted. But, shit gets tiring so fast— even with the post-its full of positive affirmations posted on your bathroom mirror that you've followed from Mary Jane's routine. All the countless and useless hookups, casual flings, dates, etc etc., that wasted your precious time over these years— you didn't need this shit. You didn't need men. You didn't need any of that soft, boring, vanilla shit you had always encountered— Taehyung and post-Taehyung. The same dates. The same restaurants. The same corny, over-used pick up lines. The same missionary position [which, don't get me wrong, isn't bad if it's with the right person]. The same 'let me make you feel good' but dude comes before you can even cum. Same old shit.
You always put up this front like men needed you, and you made that loud and clear with the way you walked the walk and talked the talk. Hell, you had achieved your goal of becoming a genetic counselor, working at one of the top hospitals in the city. Your bestfriends were always around you to support you and vice versa— Cathy living her dream as a nurse practitioner and Yoongi as a social worker. You were set, and you were always driven by your strength and independence. So driven you would never admit that sometimes, you did just want someone to actually need you, want you. Almost beg for you to be around, sexually or not. It was that longing and that need that you craved for, yet you couldn't find it and you were tired of looking.
So, you just stopped worrying all together.
It'll come when it's the right time, says Cathy. But, you thought it was all bullshit at this point. You hated dwelling on it and thought of it was a waste of time. This is why you channeled your inner MJ so you wouldn't be so in your fucking feelings.
"Guuessss what!" Cathy says in a sing-song manner as she rushes over to you and Yoongi in the courtyard. You watch as she pulls up a chair and smiles at you, batting her eyelashes like she always does when she's up to no good.
"Oh god, what did you do?" You ask, poking at your food.
"So, you know that guy I've been dating from Bumble?"
"You've dated like, four guys from Bumble in the past week." She glares at Yoongi and rolls her eyes.
"Anyways, this guy I've been dating— his name is Marvin, for those of you who have forgotten even though if you were truly my friend you'd actually pay attention—" She looks at Yoongi again. "He's trying to set up his bestfriend with someone." She smiles at you.
"And what does that have to do with me?"
"You're gonna be that someone he hooks his bestfriend up with!" She says excitedly, playfully [and gently] shaking you by the shoulder.
"No thanks, I'll pass."
"Well, see, that's kind of the issue." You drop your fork and glare at her.
"Please, tell me. What's the issue here?"
"I kind of said you'd go and meet him at the bar tonight." Yoongi snorts, almost spitting out his water.
"Ohhhhshit." He responds. "Here we go."
"Why in the fuck would you do that, Cathy?!" Your tone slightly rose.
"God, because you can use it! Live a little will you? Stop being boring and going home just to binge watch Being Mary Jane over and over again."
"I don't do that!" You lie.
"Sure, whatever." Cathy shrugs it off. "Point is— you need some fun too, okay? Who knows, you might enjoy it. I've met him and he seems like a really good guy. He's a co-founder of this tech company too, so you might have goodies to play with." She wiggles her eyebrows. "You know what I'm saying?"
"No, Cathy. I don't." She groans.
"You work so fucking hard, just take one night to see how it is. If you don't like it, then you don't. But at least you tried, right?"
"I don't wanna try, though."
"Besides, you need to get your pussy wrecked. You're in a fucking drought, bitch. Don't think I forgot all those texts of you complaining about your drought season." Yoongi makes a sour face.
"The hell, dude. Can we not?" Yoongi covers his face with his hand.
"Cathy, we're at work. Can you keep it down?!"
"You're right, I'm sorry—" She clears her throat. "YOU—NEED—TO—GET—YOUR—PU—" You cover her mouth with your hand.
"You must be out of your fucking mind!"
"Look wait, wait. She kind of has a point, Y/N." Yoongi says as he puts his hand out to alleviate the situation in some way. "You should do something outside of your ordinary routine."
"Yoongi! I'm comfortable with where I'm at, I don't—"
"Wait, just shut up and listen for once!" See, the thing with your friends— as you can tell already— they keep you grounded. They know how to deal with you. They know how to deal with the fire in you and when to put it out. They know when you just need a moment to yourself, and they know when you're comfortable. This right here, was beyond comfortable to Yoongi and Cathy, and not in a good way. You were stuck in this boring routine, afraid of trying anything new because of the time you 'wasted' in the past, especially pointing fingers straight at Taehyung. You just didn't want to ruin that routine. You didn't think anything was worth it.
For the most part, it's not. They do admire your independence and the way you can shut shit down.
However, miss girl, they know you, and they know you too well. They know that some part of you still longs to be loved because you do deserve to be loved. In all sorts of good, pleasurable, wonderful ways.
"You okay? Am I good to speak?" Yoongi asks you for reassurance and you simply nod. "Damn, woman. As I was saying, I don't think there's any harm in trying it out. Just like Cathy said, if you don't like it, then you don't. He doesn't own you, you can just tell him you're good off of the whole thing and leave." He shrugs before pointing at Cathy. "However, you still should've asked her first."
"Yeah, Cathy." You agreed before rolling your eyes and shaking your head.
"I'm sorry, babe. I just got excited and thought it would be fun for you. Don't be mad." She pouts. "I love you and I just want the best for you."
"Fine. But he better understand when no means no."
"Yes, I know. He won't be crazy." You shake your head.
"I can't believe you."
"Yessssss you can, I love you!" She squeals. "What're you gonna wear? Wanna shop really quick after work?"
"Can't I just go in sweats?" You chuckled, tracing the rim of your cup.
"No, this is like, a high-end bar. We need to get you in a sexy black dress, sweetie."
"Perrrrrfect." You let out sarcastically with a sigh.
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"Look at this! Tight and will hug you in all the right places." Cathy hands you the dress. "Try it on!"
"Okay, let me just pile it onto the others." You furrow your brows as you pile it ontop of the other 5 Cathy had handed you. "Don't you think this is maybe a little overkill? I have dresses."
"This is a special occasion, sweetie."
"What's the occasion?" You snort.
"Getting back out there!" You don't say anything. Even though you got on her ass earlier, you can't say you were entirely pissed that Cathy was trying to put you out there again. You know she was only coming from a good place, and both Yoongi and Cathy have always tried to look out for you in any way possible. Her execution though, a little questionable.
After a short while, you take the dresses into the fitting room and try on everything that's been handed to you. You actually do really like the last dress Cathy handed to you, and you take a minute to look at yourself in the mirror.
Truth be told, it's been awhile since you've felt completely sexy— Sexy enough to be wanting to flaunt your shit. You tried really hard to reassure yourself, pushing back all the negative thoughts that came rushing to your mind about Taehyung and those old feelings of betrayal and hurt. Ooh, the hurt.
Fuck that.
Nope, listen. This might be good for you. This really might be good. Even after the debates and pushing Cathy to cancel tonight, a tiny part of you thinks it could be good. It could be good enough to get him in bed and get a good fuck. Maybe it could escalate into something more over time, but that was kind of pushing it for you.
You finally settle on a dress and part ways with Cathy, not really in the mood to eat a full meal before meeting up with the guy. You take a quick shower, dry your hair and fluff it up a bit— giving it a lil umph compared to your usual routine of simply running your hand through your hair and calling it a day. You dab on some clear lipgloss to your lips and step through an invisible cloud of perfume before slipping into your Louboutins and throwing your shit into a clutch bag.
Fuck. We're really doing this.
"I can't believe you're making me do this." You slipped your Louboutins back on before stepping out of the Uber. God, you really couldn't last in heels— what were you thinking? "You know I have a million other things to do, why do I have to—"
"Hush and go find him, Y/N." Cathy says on the other line. "It's too late to turn back now, you're dressed and literally at the entrance."
"I swear, Cathy. If this doesn't end well—"
"It'll be fine! Don't whine before you try, silly." Cathy lets out a breath. "Okay, so, he's supposedly in a white button-up and grey slacks." You check the picture Cathy sent you of Andrei, Marvin's supposedly bestfriend. He was good looking, you couldn't lie. However, you just hoped he also carried himself well.
This bar is completely high-end and absolutely extravagant, and sits in the lobby of a very expensive apartment complex. It almost confuses you how you don't need a specific badge, ID, invitation of some sort to get in. But, you weren't complaining. If you were to meet a man at a bar, this is where you'd prefer it— and not those grimy, chaotic, small-spaced bars on Polk Street in San Francisco where people don't recognize personal space. If we're being completely honest.
The lights are dim, and the bar is decked out in dark aesthetics from ceiling to the floor. There aren't too many people present, which feels a bit of a relief. You don't have to shove your way past people if you need to make an unexpected escape. Ahead, there's a small table with a tea candle as the center piece. You see Andrei standing in front, looking at you with glowing eyes and a small smile on his face because he must have figured it was you, and that makes shit easier since you don't have to look dumb playing the what if's when searching the crowd for a familiar face.
You give him a small toothless smile in return and start walking towards his way, clutching your clutch bag in your hands. He definitely looks like the picture Cathy sent you, except hair a little trimmed and more cleaned up.
"Y/N?" He says, coming around the side of the table to greet you.
"You must be Andrei." You were expecting a handshake, but he pulls you into a pretty firm hug that catches you slightly off guard. His hand trails down to the small of your back before he breaks away and steps back towards the other side of the table.
"Wow, it's finally nice to meet you. You're even more beautiful in person." You smile.
"That's sweet, thank you." You look around, a little shy to keep eye contact with the guy. "Do you come here often or something? I honestly didn't know this place existed."
"Uh, yeah, sometimes when I wanna grab a drink after dealing with people's stupidity at work." He chuckles. Mm, kind of a strike one for you because you know damn well his ass doesn't know everything about the world around him. Sure, we all have bad days, but let's not get ahead of ourselves and start acting superior. Just cause you have the "co-founder" title to your name doesn't always mean shit.
"Hmm, tough days at work come pretty often?"
"It's just hard to manage people who are incompetent. Lots of people look good on paper, then when you ask them to do simple tasks, they need their hand held." You slowly nod.
"I see. Sounds like being a co-founder is a tough job for you."
"Oh no, it's great. Nothing but a breeze. Feel like this was made for me." He plays it off. Great start, honestly. Absolutely fantastic. "Anyway, I'll have Hennessy on the rocks. What can I get you, beautiful? Some of those girly Sex in the City kind of drinks? Martini, a glass of Sex on the Beach?" He chuckles as the waitress comes to take orders for any appetizers and drinks. Strike two— never assume a lady can't handle herself. You subtly roll your eyes before looking up at the waiter and smiling.
"I'll actually have Remy on the rocks. Thanks." You look back at Andrei, his eyes slightly widened before he a does a slight head tilt.
"Wow, was not expecting that."
"You sure weren't."
"No, that's cool. I like a woman who can handle hard liquor." You let out a sigh when the corners of your lips turned in a fake, half-assed smile. "So, Cathy and Marvin tell me you're a genetic counselor."
"Sure am."
"How's that like?"
"Good. I get to help people and that's all that matters."
"That's sweet."
"You like what you do?" You took a big sip out of your Remy.
"Yeah, besides the people I guess."
"But then what's your company without the people?" You cocked your eyebrow as you continued to sip.
"I guess so. It's hard to explain, I don't know if you'd get it."
"Why would you assume that? Try me."
"It's just a whole different world in tech, you know?" You shook your head as you downed the glass of Remy.
"Mm, no. Not really." He nervously chuckles and scratches his temple.
"Sorry, maybe we shouldn't discuss work."
"It's cool."
"Why don't you tell me some more about yourself?" Suddenly, the waiter comes back with another glass of Remy, catching you off guard.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't order another—"
"It's on the house, miss." He gives you a tight-lipped smile before walking off.
"Hm, looks like they're a fan of you too." You shrugged as Andrei laughed at his own joke. Looooord. You're not even trying to sound mean, but jesus. "Anyways, back to the question."
"I like to read, binge-watch shows, work-out, the usual." You give him a half-assed answer.
"Yeah, what kind of workouts are we talkin'?" He smirks. "I'm just playing." Sooner or later, you're downing the free glass of Remy and the alcohol is starting to run through your veins. The room feels a little hotter than when you first came in, the walls slowly starting to blur and become one with the ceiling and floors.
"What about you?"
"Same, I guess. Beating my friends at video games, winning bets at how many women we can snag. I always win though." He laughs. "Okay, I was really just playing about that. Don't get all worked up." Strike three— why in the fuck would you even say that type of shit? He was for sure some bratty frat boy in school. No doubt.
"Haaa." You fake laugh as you look off to the side. Andrei kind of picks up on the vibe and clears his throat. "Don't worry, I'm not pressed."
"Mind if I use the restroom really quickly?"
"Go for it." You shrug.
"Alright, I'll be back. Don't go anywhere, beautiful." He flashes you a smile that almost makes you sick. Everything he's been saying all night, his vibe, the way he carries himself, you already know this shit wasn't worth it. Point blank period. This was the same fucking issue you've run into before. All of this shit was a waste of time.
As soon as he clears around the corner, you pick up your phone to dial Cathy's number because right now, you feel like giving her an earful.
"Heyyyyy bitch, how's it going?"
"Why the fuck didn't you tell me he was a goddamn narcissist?"
"What? No he's not!"
"Oh yeah, and just how long have you actually spent time with him?" Silence. "Exactly!"
"What did he say?"
"He's just weird as fuck, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be mean but he's like, trying to come off as high and mighty, but dumbing it down in a way? I don't know, I just know that I'm not feeling this and I'd rather be kicked into the next dimension than be here." The waiter pops up with another glass of Remy on the rocks, causing you to furrow your brows.
"Maybe he's just nervous, Y/N. Look at you, you're the baddest woman I know. Give it a little more time— "
"Wait, give me a sec, let me call you back." But Cathy doesn't hear you and continues to talk about Andrei and how you should give him a chance and to stop being so quick to judge and blah blah blah. You hang up otherwise, slipping your phone back into your clutch. "Okay, I honestly think this is a mistake."
"No mistake." The waiter nods towards a male figure towards the back of the room, sitting alone at the end of the bar. "It was ordered by the gentleman over there."
"Oh?" You raise an eyebrow as the waiter leaves. You look at the individual who's now staring at you, eyes full of curiosity. The first thing you truly noticed was how fine he was sitting there. His black, curly-ish hair fell to the sides of his face, his jawline so sharp it could cut someone miles away. He simply raises his glass at you with a tiny smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips. You can't help but stare, and he catches the questioning look on your face. He calls you over through a small nod, gesturing over at the empty seat next to him. You turn behind you and notice Andrei is still gone, and to be honest, you could care less if he came back because this 'date' had been over since the moment he opened his mouth.
Let's be real.
You quickly grab your clutch bag and the third glass of Remy before making your way over to the incredibly attractive individual at the end of the bar.
"So, you're the one who's bought the past two drinks." You say as you slip into the seat next to him.
"Looked like you needed it." He chuckles before eyeing you from his peripherals and sipping on his drink.
"Well, thank you. I appreciate it." You give him a small smile before sipping on the third glass, even though you know damn well you shouldn't be. "I'm Y/N, by the way."
"Jungkook."
"Nice to meet you." He looks at you with a smile.
"Date gone wrong?"
"Let's just not talk about it." He chuckles.
"I'll take that as a yes."
"I wouldn't consider it much of a date, or anything really at this point."
"Drink up then."
"Trying to get me that drunk?"
"More like, relaxed." You chuckle and bite onto your bottom lip. "I've been watching you since you walked in. You've been nothing but tense."
"Is that so?" You sip your glass, feeling even more intoxicated than earlier with this third glass coming to an end. "Do you watch everyone that walks in?"
"Only you."
"Why me?"
"You're gorgeous, that's why." You blush and turn away to prevent him from catching you. "What are you even doing here with someone like him?"
"God, don't get me started."
"I have time." He looks up and sees Andrei coming back to the table confused. "But you can explain while we head out of here." He drinks the rest of his glass before turning to you. You quickly glance at Andrei and you feel a little bad at how lost he looks right now. But honestly, Jungkook caught your attention in a matter of 0.5 seconds and there was no sign of you letting up any time soon. "Unless, you aren't down, then no hard feelings."
"I am. Please." You down the rest of your Remy before getting up and clutching your bag close to your side.
"I got you, pretty lady. Follow me." He smiles as he throws his leather jacket back on and holds out his hand for you. You take it without question, holding his hand as he escorts you out through the back way of the bar, cutting through the back hallway and passing the doors to the kitchen. Sooner or later, the two of you are exiting towards the back end of the building. Jungkook takes you into the elevator, pressing the top floor as you walk through the doors. You press your body against the cold wall, the dress suddenly feeling tight as the third glass of Remy is starting to make your body numb, your eyes starting to really glaze over. It was probably a bad idea to not fill up on food beforehand.
"Thanks again for getting me out of there." You say as Jungkook stands against one side of the elevator, his hands resting on the railing behind him. He licks his lips before his head dips and chuckles.
"No need to thank me. You needed it. I'm only doing what I can to help." His head swings back up, his chocolate doe eyes locked onto yours. "So, how'd you end up in there with 'em?"
"Fuck." You shake your head and pinch the bridge of your nose. "My bestfriend tried setting me up on a blind date. She's dating this guy from Bundle, or whatever the app is, and found out he was trying to hook his bestfriend up too."
"Bumble?"
"Yes, that thing." He scrunches his nose at you.
"Cute."
"I guess, I mean she didn't even ask and just shoved my ass right into the pits of hell. That's what it felt like." You say, the alcohol giving you a little more courage to open up and vent to a complete stranger.
"I hope it still doesn't feel that way." You giggled.
"No, no. Not at all. I know I've been saying it but I really do appreciate it."
"Course." He chuckles.
"What were you doing in there alone?"
"Ah, it's kinda lame. I live here, but I've never paid attention to the bar. I figured I could at least see what it's about." He shrugs as the elevator doors open. "Come." He grabs your hand and leads you to the stairs.
"You're not gonna kill me, are you? Or kidnap me, whatever comes first." He shakes his head as he leads the way up a flight of stairs and through the roof access door.
"No, jeez." He laughs. "I've always wanted to come up here but never had a good enough reason to." He turns to look at you. "Looks like tonight is my lucky night." You look at the view of ahead of you, the breeze slightly hitting your face but giving you just enough of a refresher.
"This is beautiful. You live here?!" You turn towards him while he nods in response.
"Sure do."
"Damn, what the fuck do you do?" He smiles.
"I'm an entrepreneur. I run a business with my good friend, Namjoon. We focus on event promotions for the night club scene. He works a little bit more on the music aspect of things too, recruiting top djs and entertainers to perform all while promoting."
"Wow, that's pretty cool." You nod. You had no idea what it really entailed but it seemed fun and Jungkook didn't seem to be giving off any negative vibes about it.
"Yeah, it's fun."
"So, do you work every day?"
"Most of the time, yeah. But I made sure to make time for myself tonight."
"That's good. I should do that."
"You should. What do you do anyways?"
"I'm a genetic counselor."
"That's pretty fucking cool." He nods, his bottom lip poking out. "I'm sure you help out a lot of people and that takes a lot. I commend you."
"Thanks." You bite onto your bottom lip again. "How old are you, if you don't mind me asking?" You boldly ask just to make sure you weren't feeling something you shouldn't be.
"I don't. I just turned 25 in September."
"I just turned 27 this past January."
"The night just keeps getting better, doesn't it?" He chuckles. You keep your gaze on him as he continues to look back out silently. You don't turn away when he looks at you, almost willingly letting him catch you checking him out. "What?"
"I'm sorry, I'm just gonna say it. I'm drunk and I don't know— I might regret this later since I don't really know what I'm doing, but fuck it."
"No, go for it Y/N." He laughs, watching you ramble on.
"You're really fucking attractive."
"I was just thinking the same about you." He smirks, his tongue poking the side of his cheek. You swallow the lump in your throat because you don't know if it's the fucking cold that's heightening the level of your intoxication right now, but your pussy is throbbing. You feel it pulsing against your panties, the fabric of your dress. You went from not wanting to be here, to suddenly wanting to be here solely to throw yourself on this man. All of you. He could have it, hands down. You wanted him.
You didn't really know what it was about him that drew you so quick, that made your guard come down, that made you put aside your Mary Jane front.
But, fuck.
"Fuck, I'm sorry." You say, cursing yourself under your breath as you walk away and try to create some distance. This whole situation, the alcohol, a fine ass man by the name of Jungkook— it was all bad and you knew it too, but your ass waned to be dramatic. You wanted him to want you just as bad.
"What is it?"
"I just— I honestly shouldn't be near you or else my thoughts start to run wild. I know it shouldn't matter though because I came all the way out here for this stupid date and I'd hate for the night to go to waste. Ugh." You groan. "Sorry, I hope you get what I'm saying." You slightly pout, realizing how much you've rambled on.
"Mm, I'm not sure I do." Suddenly, you feel him behind you, his breath trailing down your neck. "Care to help me understand?" You silently hiss to yourself as you shut your eyes, trying to silence the demon on your shoulder. All it was tempting you to do was give in. Giving you the little nudge that you need, that hype. You hadn't gotten dick in awhile, Cathy was right. You had complained time and time again about being in this fucking drought, and now here we are.
Do we go for it, or not? Do we let the devil take this?
As if something snaps [quick, too], you turn and cup his cheeks, roughly pressing your lips against his and he takes it. He kisses you back, his hands pulling you close by the elbows as he tries to deepen the kiss.
"God, fuck." You whimper into his mouth.
"I know it's a cliché ass line, so forgive me. But, are you down to take this back to mine?" He pulls away briefly just to scan your body language. He's a man with needs, and fuck, he's been eyeing you since you walked in. Everything about you, the way the dress hugged your body tightly, those red bottom heels. God, your beauty drove him crazy, especially when he caught other men looking your way too. He watched patiently as you sat with Andrei, doing your best to endure the horrible date and he just knew he needed to step in. Not only for you, to be honest. But he knew he could do better and give you what you need. He knew exactly what that was from the moment he laid his eyes on you.
Andrei thought he had it like that, but Jungkook definitely did have it like that.
You hurriedly follow him down the flight of stairs and into the elevator, Jungkook instantly pressing you against the wall to continue kissing you. His hands roam up your dress, gripping your ass tightly as your tongues dance together in a wet, sloppy kiss.
Sure, the both of you are drunk right now but who gives a flying fuck? You hadn't felt this alive in such a long time. You hadn't felt things in months. This was the first time you've felt the desire to be fucked, the need to have someone touch you, feel you. Make you feel good. Because typically, you could care less. None of this hooking up, casual dating scene was worth it to you, but somehow Jungkook has gotten past that even though you barely knew anything about him.
You drunkily kiss up on his neck, your tongue trailing from his neck mole up to his jaw as you giggle and continue to pepper him with kisses while he fiddles with his keys.
"Fuck, baby." He says, the pet name sending shivers down your spine. He swoops you into his arms, continuing to kiss you deeply and sensually as he carries you to his room. He gently lays you on his bed, removing his jacket and setting it aside. His hands begin to roam up your body, taking every bit of you in. "Take this off, yeah?" He says, slipping off your red bottoms and tossing them aside. He begins to press light, feathery kisses down your leg before tugging it over his shoulder in order to lower himself onto you.
"Get me out of this dress, Jungkook." He smiles into the kiss he's pressing below your jaw.
"Don't have to tell me twice." He says, helping you wiggle out of the dress and tossing it aside to join your heels. He sits up and removes his shirt before admiring your body. You weren't wearing a bra underneath the dress and the realization sends a slight shock to his dick, making it twitch. You, on the other hand, wanted so badly to drool at the sight of his chiseled abs, his arms, his face. Fucking everything.
He gets himself out of his jeans before he lowers himself back down to you and starts to gently rub your clothed clit. Your back arches at the sudden sensation, a small hiss leaving your mouth as he tugs lightly on your panties with his teeth, his lips pressing gently against your clothed nub.
"Such a fucking tease." You spit out, eyes slightly shut from how bad you're yearning for him to do more to you.
"Just wanna make this last for you. You were tense all night, sweetheart." He hooks onto your panties, and brings them down, his arms about to hook around your thighs so he can get a better angle on your pussy. He licks a stripe up your folds, causing a small moan to escape your lips. His nose is nuzzled near your clit as he begins to suck, his tongue poking your entrance from time to time. He makes his way up to your clit, tonguing it slowly before latching on fully with his soft, plump lips. Your hands are in his hair, tugging away as you jut your hips upward into his mouth to feel more of him. "You're soaking wet, baby. All this for me?" You nod with a small whimper.
"Feels so good, Jungkook. God, please keep going."
"Can't wait to feel you wrapped around me." He says lowly as he pulls away to start fingering you with three of his digits. He curves upward, tickling you in all the right places before his lips come back down to meet your sensitive nub.
"Ohhhhshit, yes, like that, like that!" You moan, hips almost going crazy trying to feel more but Jungkook does a hell of a job keeping you steady. You feel the pleasure bubbling in your core, ready to tip over and take over your entire body. God, it feels like it's been decades since you felt this good and it's almost embarrassing how a stranger can make you cum quicker than your ex was able to.
"Let me feel you cum." He groans against your pussy. You feel yourself snap, your body trembles under his grip as you moan his name loudly, explicit words trailing behind as you try to ride out your high with his mouth constantly latched onto your clit. "That's it, pretty girl."
"Fuuuuuuuuuck." You turn your head sideways and groan into his pillows as you come down from your high.
"So good for me." He removes himself from your sensitive clit, and makes his way to your breasts, groping at the right pressure before taking your nipples into his mouth one by one and pulling back with a pop each time. He starts sucking on the surface of your skin, leaving dark-reddish marks along your breasts and up to the base of your neck. "You look so fucking pretty being marked up like that."
"Wanna feel you." You whine as your hand rests on the nape of his neck, bringing him down onto your lips for a sloppy kiss. The sounds of wet kisses fills the room, Jungkook moaning into it as he removes his hardened member from its confines and starts to pump himself a few times.
"You ready?" He asks. You watch as he sits back on his knees and strokes himself. He was deliciously big, and you wanted to feel every inch of him inside of you. You bite onto your bottom lip and nod, causing him to smirk. He presses his tip into your entrance and sinks in just a bit before he comes back out and taps his cock against your pussy.
"Stop fucking teasing."
"Tell me what you want then, baby."
"I want you to fuck me. God, please. Just fuck me good." You moan, grabbing at your breasts to ease your neediness.
"I'll fuck you real good, princess. Won't let this night go to waste for you. Don't even worry about that." He glides his cock up and down your folds a few times before he lets his tip sink in fully. He lowers himself onto you and bottoms out, both of your moans filling the room and bouncing off of the walls. He hooks his arm around your waist and gets a good grip on your ass to keep him steady as he fucks into you deeply. Your hands are tangled in his hair as he buries his head into the crook of your neck to plant wet kisses on the surface while he fucks into you.
"You feel so good." You moan into his ear, causing him to groan.
"Shit, baby. If you keep moaning like that, you'll make me cum." He moves away from your neck and faces you, now attacking your lips with his. He sucks onto your bottom lip and tugs back gently before he's sinking his tongue back into your mouth. You pull on his hair, the pleasure bubbling in your core once again as your hips try to work against his.
"Hmmmmmgfffuck, you're gonna make me cum again."
"Good." Is all he says as he's picking up his pace and becoming more aggressive with his movements. His fingers are digging deep into your ass, gripping tighter to support him while he begins to ram into your pussy.
"Jungkook, please." You plead.
"Use your words, Y/N."
"Fuck me harder." He smirks and bites onto his bottom lip as he raises himself up and spreads your legs wider. He holds them against your chest, making sure you're wide enough to feel him deep inside of you. He picks up the pace and his movements are rougher now, causing you to cry his name and plead for him keep going.
Begging for him to keep fucking you the way he is.
Begging for him to make you cum again.
And he does just that. With one more roll of his hips, he sends you hurdling over the edge, your body trembling under him harder than you've ever trembled before.
"Fuuuuuuck, you're so fucking tight. Feel so good coming all over my cock, doesn't it?" He tilts his head back in pleasure to gather himself for a moment, your wet pussy pulsating around him driving him to insanity. "Can you ride me, baby?" You nod as you watch him pull out and fix himself against his headboard. He strokes himself while he does the same, watching as you swing a leg over to prep yourself. "Taste yourself for me." He says, slipping two of his digits into your mouth. Your hand rests on his as you suck on his fingers, tongue swirling around them one by one before you position yourself over his cock and slowly start to sink down. "God, so perfect." He moans, his head hitting the headboard behind him.
"You're so big." You whimper, feeling completely filled, almost bloated from the way his cock is sitting in you. He grips onto your hips, immediately having you work on him in quick, fast-paced motions. His moaning becomes louder, like music to your ears. He tries to spit out words, but they come out broken with the way the pleasure is becoming overwhelming for him.
"Sh-shit, oh-shit—" He stutters as he watches your hips sloppily grind on him.
"Jungkook." You moan. At this point, you hear your phone going off a couple of times, most likely due to Cathy trying to figure out where the fuck you went and why you left Andrei at the bar.
Oh, well. You're too into Jungkook and he's too into you to even give a fuck about how annoying it is.
"B-baby, b-baby, baby—" He repeats, his panting becoming more consistent. "I'm gonna cum, tell me where I can cum please." He pleads as his breathing becomes heavy.
"Inside me." You clearly don’t give a fuck with how drunk you are, and god, thank you for birth control but this is not how you would usually go about it.
"Shit that's so fucking hot." He groans.
"Oh god, oh god, Jungkook, god!" Is all you can moan out when you're coming for the third time tonight, your clit aching from the sensitivity of it rubbing against Jungkook's pelvis this entire time. You fall against his body even though your hips are still working slowly to ride out the rest of your high.
"Look at me." He gently grabs you by the jaw to make you face him after you've ridden out your high. "Keep your eyes on me, want you to see me cum for you." You nod as you continue to ride him until he fills you up. You watch as his brows furrow while his eyes shut close. His fingers are digging deep into your hips, a slight hint of pain shooting through your body but quickly leaves when you watch as he groans your name loudly and tilts his head back. He opens his eyes once he's finished filling you up, the both of you panting to regulate your breathing and not breaking eye contact. "So fucking good, princess." He says at a whisper, pressing his lips against yours and smiling into it. He lets out a small hiss when he feels you slip yourself off of him, but holds you there. "Wait."
"Hm?" You watch as he grabs a tissue from the nightstand next to his bed and wipes you up. You slightly chuckle as he finishes cleaning you up, plopping onto the open space next to him. The exhaustion suddenly hits you hard, the alcohol still running through your veins but not as bad as it was earlier.
"You okay?" He asks, slipping himself further into the covers.
"Yeah, I'm just tired as hell now." He chuckles.
"Go to sleep."
"You don't mind?" You ask as your eyes slowly close while you fix your position and lay on your side, facing away from Jungkook.
"No. I just have to be up early because—" He looks over to see that you had fallen asleep already. He smiles to himself as he listens to the small, soft snores coming from your side of the bed and tucks himself in before shutting off the lights.
This was definitely unexpected, but he was quite happy with how shit had turned out tonight. He didn't think his plan of buying you drinks to get you out of your situation would turn out to this, but he was glad he tried.
What this meant afterwards, he wasn't sure. He's had his fair share of one night stands and fuckbuddies in the past, but the routine always got boring for him. This though— it felt different. He just wasn't sure what it was, he didn't even know you felt or what you would feel the coming morning. He wanted to see you again, though. How he'd keep that up, he'd figure it out.
So that's how a fine, fine man was balls deep into your pussy tonight. And at the moment, you didn't regret a fucking thing. One thing turned into another, and you had thought that maybe, this is what was supposed to happen all along. All because of a failed blind date with a dude named Andrei and three cups of Remy on the rocks.
That fucking Remy. Strong and bold, just like you. And Jungkook caught on quick.
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chosonore · 6 months ago
Text
infatuation
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infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]
pairing: kamo choso/f!reader
summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]
wordcount: 23.3k
content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]
a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)
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"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"
you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).
even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.
"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"
"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"
"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.
you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?
"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.
"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.
"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."
"really? you can hire tho-"
"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.
"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."
"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"
"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."
"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.
"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-
"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.
"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"
"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."
nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.
"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."
"i see. is this a formal event?"
"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"
"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"
"uh i-"
nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."
you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.
"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.
"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."
"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."
"i don't-"
nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"
"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."
"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.
"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.
"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"
"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."
"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.
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the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."
"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"
although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.
not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.
"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"
"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."
"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"
you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.
"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."
"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"
you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.
“is everything okay?”
“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”
on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.
“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”
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for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.
“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”
nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.
"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.
“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”
the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.
“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.
“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.
“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”
you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"
“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.
“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”
humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”
“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”
“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”
“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”
surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.
"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.
“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.
as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.
"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?
“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.
seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.
“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.
“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”
“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.
“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?
“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.
“i’m sorry that-”
“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”
giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.
when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”
“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.
before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”
“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”
choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.
“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”
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nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.
the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”
“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”
“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”
“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.
choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?
to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.
you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.
"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.
wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.
"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.
"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.
choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.
“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”
a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.
seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.
dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.
“oh.”
“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”
“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”
choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.
carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”
your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.
“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”
you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-
his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”
“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”
choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”
“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”
choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.
“if you want to, of course.”
-----------
now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.
choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.
you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.
silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.
“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.
the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.
choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"
"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.
"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.
"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.
“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.
“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”
before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.
with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”
choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”
“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”
steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.
something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.
you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"
"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."
"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.
"thank you."
"for what?" choso sounded surprised.
"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."
“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”
he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.
“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”
you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”
“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”
sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.
thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”
“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”
“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.
your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”
“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.
after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.
“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”
“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”
“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.
“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”
choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.
“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.
“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”
----------
“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”
“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”
“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”
“nope! not at all!”
“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.
“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”
wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.
“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.
“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”
you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.
everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.
knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him
“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”
your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”
“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”
choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”
“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.
choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.
pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”
reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.
“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.
"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."
you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.
languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.
it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.
“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”
you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”
“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.
choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.
choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.
“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.
slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.
while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”
“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.
slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”
you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”
“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”
“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”
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“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.
you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again
“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.
“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.
your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”
“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”
you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”
“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.
“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.
“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”
“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”
you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”
“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”
one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.
the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”
choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”
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the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.
“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.
“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”
“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”
“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”
“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”
deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.
as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.
it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”
“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”
“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”
choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”
“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.
choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.
“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.
“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”
“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.
“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.
eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.
unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.
choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.
“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.
choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.
you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.
it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.
"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.
"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"
choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"
you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?
"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."
"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."
"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"
"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."
his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.
“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”
choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.
sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.
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weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.
out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”
“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.
“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”
“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”
all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?
“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.
“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”
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in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.
“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”
“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.
“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.
“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”
“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”
a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.
“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.
you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”
“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”
“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”
swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”
“that’s-!”
your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”
suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”
choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”
your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.
“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”
“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.
you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.
“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”
you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.
“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”
you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.
“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”
choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”
over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”
“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”
“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”
“it would be an honour, princess.”
with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.
he was perfect and he was yours.
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p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!
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theosbucky · 9 months ago
Text
the hair - jasper h.
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request : i can’t find the request, but i can say that the person that requested the imagine, asked about doing a fluff imagine with the reader loving jasper’s hair.
pairings : jasper hale x fem!reader
summary : in which y/n’s got a small obsession with jasper’s hair and he figures this out and teases the crap out of her for it. 
warnings : teasing!jasper, embarrassed!reader, sensitive!reader, fluff!
word count : 1.7k.
a/n : this was requested and i've been wanting to write an imagine about jasper for awhile now, so i’m really excited about this imagine, hehe! gif creds to owner!
IT HAD STARTED OFF AS an innocent question. 
jasper and y/n were laying in her bed, on a late saturday afternoon. it was one of those rare weekends where nothing was going on that demanded the blonde vampire’s immediate attention or where y/n didn’t have a pile of homework to work on all weekend. 
throughout the past few weeks, there hadn’t been any free time for them to hang out or to go on any dates. 
jasper had been dealing with the few supernatural issues that had ensued, with his family. and usually, when the two would hang out, y/n would still have homework to do. but, jasper usually would have time for her, so when she’d have homework, he’d help her with it. he’d also make her food, since she’d always have the habit of forgetting about staying hydrated and eating snacks.
but, this saturday, in some miracle, jasper didn’t have to worry about dealing with anything with his family and y/n had shockingly didn’t have any new homework assigned for the weekend. 
jasper had come over late the night before, just really missing his girlfriend and decided to spend the night with her. so, the next morning, they’d decided that they’d just have a lazy day. 
that’s what they’re doing as of now. they were cuddling; jasper, holding her in his arms and y/n, wearing a soft look in her eyes as she plays with his curls. and then, a random thought begins to draw jasper’s attention. the question racks at his mind, not being able to shake it off. 
his curiosity starts to become so distracting, that even, y/n pauses her actions and pulls away from his embrace. she leans her head on one of the pillows, looking up at him with curious eyes as he looks down at her, brows furrowing.
“jas? what’s up?” the girl asks, starting to sit up, directing all of her attention to her boyfriend.  
he looks up at her, cocking his to the side, confusion taking over his features as he starts to sense her worry and confusion. 
she notices his expression of confusion and sighs. “i mean, you look like you’ve got something on your mind.” she states, raising her brows in question. 
his mouth shapes into an ‘o’ shape, before he nods in acknowledgement. without another thought, he decides to just blurt out his question, rather than beat around the bush about it. “what was the one thing that attracted you to me, when we first met?” he asks curiously, his southern accent evident in his tone. 
y/n’s y/e/c eyes go wide in shock, before a red tint colors her cheeks in embarrassment. out of all the questions he could’ve asked, he asks this one.
“um...” she sputters, trailing off as she looks away from her boyfriend, who looks at her curiously. her cheeks flush redder, if that’s even possible.
“darlin’.” he says, chuckling as she refuses to look up at him. “what’s got you so embarrassed about?” the blonde vampire asks, turning her towards him by turning her cheek.
“babeeee, it’s embarrassing. can’t we talk about anything else?” she mumbles, moving to bury her face in his chest, too embarrassed to face him. 
“c’mon, princess. it can’t be that bad. just tell me.” he murmurs, rubbing little soothing circles on her back.
sighing, she realizes that he’s going to be persistent with the question, until she answers him. “you promise that you won’t laugh?” she asks in a child-like voice as she pulls away from his chest, playing with the collar of his shirt, instead of looking up at her boyfriend. 
he chuckles again, grabbing a strand of her y/h/c hair and playing with it. “sweetheart, i promise, i’ll try not to laugh.” he murmurs seriously, before looking back at her as he lets the strand of hair fall back onto her shoulder. 
“it was your hair.” she says in barely a whisper, still thinking that her vampire boyfriend is going to laugh at her. 
“what?” he asks, wondering if he misheard his girlfriend. 
“it was your hair.” she grumbles, still looking down as she pulls her fingers away from his shirt. 
a small sound, like a giggle, leaves his lips. at this, y/n snaps her head up in his direction, glaring daggers at him. this causes him to snap his mouth shut, a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“you said you weren’t going to laugh.” she grumbles, cheeks red as a tomato as she shoves him lightly.
“i-i’m sorry, darlin’. i just- w-why my hair?” he stutters in between laughs. 
she sighs, refusing to look up at her boyfriend, completely humiliated that this conversation has gone from normal to humiliating. she groans as he lifts her chin up, forcing her to look him in the eye. 
“sweetheart, i promise, i won’t laugh anymore. just tell me, please.” he states seriously, gaining a little bit of her trust. 
“it’s stupid, but the first day i saw you at school, i saw your eyes, which drew me in. but...then, i saw your hair; it was hanging just above your shoulders, and i don’t know what came over me, but i caught myself wondering what it’d be like to run my fingers through your soft hair. and i’d found myself thinking like that, on countless, different occasions.” the now-flustered and nervous girl admits, taking the blonde vampire’s hand from her chin and placing it in her lap. she begins to fidget with them, before looking up, upon not hearing a response. 
as she does so, jasper struggles with not trying to laugh. but, eventually his mouth uncontrollably opens as the laughs escape, chest rumbling, only finding amusement in the situation. 
he continues to laugh, failing to notice the very sensitive teenage girl’s eyes clouding up with tears or her hurt emotions. 
of course, the two usually had inside jokes and teased one another, but this was different. she felt as if he were making fun of her, over something that she was taking the time out of her day to tell him about; just to answer his question that she didn’t even want to answer in the first place.
a trembling sigh leaves her lips, catching her boyfriend’s attention, as she starts to get up. once she’s standing at the edge of the bed and is turned away from him, she hurries her way to the bathroom. “y-you’re mean...” she chokes out in a sob, walking inside.
“sweetheart-” he starts, getting up very quickly, after hearing her tone of voice. but, he’s interrupted when she slams the door shut.
she slides down the door, locked away in the darkness as the hot tears start to stream down her cheeks. she tries to tell herself that she’s overreacting, that jasper has nothing to be at fault for. but, that just makes more tears escape. 
she starts to ask herself, why am i so emotional? he didn’t do anything wrong!
but, she’s interrupted from her thoughts as jasper calls out from behind the other side of the door. “darlin’, i’m sorry. why don’t you come out for a second, so we can talk about this?” his voice is filled with regret and gentleness. 
after hearing the anguish in his voice, y/n instantly becomes guilty. and after a few seconds, jasper sighs, starting to think that she’s not going to come out, as he silently yells at himself for making her cry. i mean, he may have laughed about it, but he was going to try and lighten the mood and convince her that she had nothing to be embarrassed about. 
but, just as the blonde vampire stands up, preparing to walk back to the bed, he hears the door knob of the bathroom twist, before y/n slowly pulls open the door. he snaps his head up, worry and guilt evident on his features as she slowly emerges from the darkness of the room, dried up tears on her cheeks and her cheeks redder than ever. 
he stays frozen, not sure of what he could say to make up for making her feel so bad. he opens his mouth, as if he’d found the right words, but before he can even speak, she rushes to him and presses her head into his chest, arms wrapping around his torso. 
“i’m sorry, jas. i o-overreacted and i didn’t mean to make you feel so guilty.” she mumbles, the tears welling up in her eyes again. this is the moment where he starts to notice the guilt and regret radiating off of her. 
“you’ve got nothin’ to apologize for. i was goin’ to try to lighten the mood with a few jokes, but i’m now realizin’ that i didn't work fast enough.” he murmurs, his accent becoming evident in his small tone.
she pulls away, sighing, as she lifts up her hands to her cheeks to wipe away the remaining tears on her cheeks. “babe, you don’t need to apologize. i know you’d never make fun of me on purpose. but, sometimes i just get too sensitive about certain things. i’m sorry.” she mumbles, feeling embarrassed for acting the way that she did. 
he shakes his head no as he grabs her hands and presses them to his lips. “sweetheart, it’s quite alright. you are allowed to get upset over things. i love you so much and i hope you know that i’d never make fun of you like that.” he murmurs against her knuckles, which brings her to let out a few giggles; giggles that absolutely warms his heart. 
“i know, jas. and i love you, too. how about we just forget this misunderstanding happened and we go back to cuddling?” she murmurs, after she stops giggling. 
he nods, a smile tugging at his lips. “yes, ma'am.” he says in his accent, causing the girl to bite her lip, in order to hide her smile as butterflies flutter in her stomach.
after that day, he’d tease her about his hair; which, didn’t bother her, because she’d realized that he wasn’t holding it against her. but, it’d quickly become one of their inside jokes and he loved that his hair had become her biggest weakness, and it did come in handy sometimes. 
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donutloverxo · 10 months ago
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Forever
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*gif is not mine*
Note - this is for @buckyownsmylife 's 2k celebration and birthday. Congrats and happy birthday! I've never done a breeding kink so it's very new to me but I hope you like it.
Dividers by @whimsicalrogers
Summary - You've been in a secret relationship with Steve for two years. What happens when he tells you he wants to be with you forever?
Warnings - 18+ ONLY PLEASE, smut, breeding kink, sir kink, cum play, anal play, d/s relationship, deepthroating, boss/employee relationship, loosely edited.
Pairing - CEO!Steve Rogers x reader
Word count - 2.6k
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You watched him carefully, on the edge of your seat to see how he’d react, although you had a pretty good idea of what he’d say.
“Mm,” Steve made a face, scrunching his nose up, “What is this?”
“Why, it’s pumpkin spiced latte!” you gushed, “Starbucks most popular drink,” trying to hold in a giggle to not give away your little scheme of annoying him.
“I--that’s not my drink, doll,” he frowned.
“Yes! I remember, your drink is iced black coffee, no sugar or cream. I’ve been working for you for two years, sir, it'll be pretty hard to forget.”
“Then why did you get--whatever this is?” he put the cup on his desk, too disgusted to even hold it in his hand.
“I thought you’d like to try something new! Be a bit more adventurous!”
It’ll be pretty hard to get your sir to be anything like that. He has always been so uptight and set in his ways, he had a rigid routine, a clean and proper house which was frankly kinda boring looking which is why you refused to live with him. He had asked you so many times. But you always refused. There’s no way you could live in a house that looked like it was taken out of a magazine catalogue. Where you’d be afraid to even eat anything on or near his expensive and spotless furniture. You’d probably murder him in a month or so.
But maybe he can be more open to other possibilities, he was with you, he should adopt maybe a little bit of your personality as you had done his.
“I’ve got all the adventure right here,” he smiled, wrapping a hand around your waist and pulling you into him, putting his cheek on the softness of your stomach.
“Hm, your next meetings in thirty minutes,” you hummed as you felt his fingers massage your hips, tempted to run your hands through his golden hair but not wanting to mess it up or make him look sloppy for his important meeting.
“Well, princess, I didn’t have my coffee so now my days off to a bad start. How will I sit through a meeting with Tony Stark? It’s impossible to keep up with that man.
“Um...” you bit your lip, “I didn’t really think of that... maybe I’ll go run and get you a new one right now!”
He chuckled, shaking his head at your naiveté, you were too innocent for you own good, even after being with him and doing the most depraved of things for so long.
He leant back in his chair, spreading his legs, “There is a way you can make it up to me and help me clear my mind.”
You blinked for a moment trying to process his words, “Oh,” you let out when you realised what he meant. “I’m, but...”
“What?”
“My implants expired. I need to get a new one, I’ve got an appoint in two days and I don’t want to take a chance...” you trailed off. There was no way you’d make him come in a condom or anywhere that wasn’t inside you either. So sex was off the table.
“Doll, you need to use that brain of yours sometimes, I know you can, you’re so much more than a pretty face,” he taunted you.
His harsh words really shouldn’t make your panties wet, so much so that you could feel slick running down your thigh but they did.
“You act as if you’ve got just the one hole,” he gave you a faux pout, a hand trailing up your thigh, up your skirt and past your stockings, “I can just use your mouth
....or your ass.”
“What? My ass?” you jumped, wanting to get away from him but he firmly held onto your hip.
You were well aware of his unhealthy obsession with your ass. He had ate it and fingered it, made you wear all sorts and colors of butt plugs so many times, sometimes even in the office. But you absolutely refused to take his dick up your ass.
Nope. Never. Absolutely not. No. Nada.
No matter how many times he’d ask for it, you were not taking his nine inch dick up your poor small ass.
“Relax, doll,” he grinned, “Get to work. I don’t have much time,” he motioned to his bulge.
You simply nodded, quickly scrambling to get on your knees. There were many ways to have sex than the good ol' penis in vagina--even if that was your personal favorite. You could just blow him for the next couple of days and ride his face.
It was honestly ridiculous how you literally couldn’t go just two days without his dick.
You were using your hands to pump his throbbing shaft, giving light kitten licks to his tip to rile him up and to maybe get a taste of your favorite creamy goodies.
“No hands,” he commanded.
And you almost whined. He always does this! Ruins your fun by taking away control from you.
“Not fair!” you mumbled, putting your hands behind your back as he held onto your face to properly use it.
“I decide what’s fair and what’s not, princess,” he stated, pushing your head down on him.
Lifting his hips up, cooing when you choked on him, tears streaming down your face and ruining your sweet makeup.
He tutted, brushing them away with his thumb, “Look at me, doll,” he told you and like the subservient secretary that you were, you immediately looked up. “What the fuck do you spend thousands of dollars on Sephora for if you can’t even get waterproof makeup?”
You frowned in confusion because you didn’t he if he was seriously asking or not. Did he expect you to answer? With your mouth full of dick?”
It wasn’t surprising that he knew what you spent money on, he let you spend as much money as you wanted on anything you liked, but he insisted on having a joint account so you both could be transparent with each other.
He shushed you when you tried to speak--to explain that you’ll try a better mascara next time.
“You look so pretty with your face stuffed,” he groaned, his hips stuttering as he emptied his load in your mouth.
You swallowed it all, knowing well and good by now that sir didn’tlike it when you let anything go to waste, “Thank you, sir,” you smiled up at him as you popped his dick out of your mouth. “I’ll go clean up.”
“You go do that. And remember to be at my place at seven sharp for dinner.”
“Yes sir,” you answered as you tried to stand on wobbly legs.
💍💍💍
He looked at the ring in the turquoise blue box, so bright and shiny and beautiful, so much like you. A big diamond with smaller ones on the band. He was sure you’ll love it. With the fortune that he had spent on it--you have to.
He just wasn’t sure if you’d say yes.
Or how he should go about asking you.
He couldn’t do it at a public restaurant. Even after all this time your relationship was still very much a secret. If people found out you’d have to stop being his secretary. And he wasn’t sure he could bear going so many hours everyday without you. YOU were his life now. How did he ever even live without you?
“Guess who,” he smiled when he heard your sweet voice, and felt your soft hands over his eyes, closing the box in his hand on instinct.
“Oh my god!” you squealed, removing your hands and jumping up and down in mirth, “Is that Tiffany’s?! Is it for me!”
All the screeching and the screaming made him flinch, he got up from his chair, turning around to see you, “Who else would it be for, doll?”
You squealed again, clapping your hands, you tried to snatch it away from him but he held it away, making you frown. You whined like a petulant child when he held it above his head, too tall for you to get your hands on.
“Sir!” you stomped your foot.“Please give it to me! What is it?” you jumped, hoping to snatch but with Steve being over a foot taller than you, it proved to be difficult.
“Uh... honey, you’ll have to wait a bit...” he had planned on cooking a five course meal for you and asking over candle lights, but you decided to show up over an hour early.
You stopped your ministrations, your lip wobbling, “Why...”
He sighed, his heart breaking at the mere thought of upsetting you, “You just have to, princess. Do you trust me?”
You nodded without a second thought. You most definitely did.
“Then you’ll just have to wait.”
💍💍💍
“Oo sir...,” you moaned, pushing on his wide shoulders when you felt his tip brushing against your pussy lips, “Not on birth control. Remember? Just... um.. just.”
He released your nipple from his mouth with a loud, obscene pop, his elbows on either side of your face as he looked down at you, “Just what, princess?”
“Just... um... well could you just eat my pussy tonight? I was so good in the morning to you!” And you missed having his talented tongue on you. Even though you were pretty sure he made you pass out by eating you out just two days ago.
“Of course I can, princess, you know I love the way your cunt tastes.”
Your cheeks heated up as he moved you onto your stomach, propping your hops up with a pillow.
Shivers running down your spine as he pressed kisses to it with his soft lips, over your butt before biting it and making you gasp.
“Love how I can pull all those sounds out of you,” Steve mused. There was no way in hell he could ever be with anyone who wasn’t you. He looked up at your empty hands, how he should have out a ring on it ages ago. He can’t let you go.
He wanted to do this forever. To be with you forever. What was he even waiting for?
“I want to give you my name,” he blurted.
You looked back at him over your shoulder, meeting your lust blown dark eyes, “Huh?” you asked, not sure that you heard him right.
“Mrs Rogers. It has a nice ring to it don’t you think?”
“Um, yes, maybe,” you immediately pushed your head into your pillow, too shy to even look at his beautiful face.
You had thought about being Mrs Steve Rogers the moment you met him. You loved the idea of being his wife and bride. You liked practicing your signature with his name, write your name along with his whenever you wanted to doodle or pass time. He had caught you more than once but never mentioned it.
Since he didn’t even want to tell others about your relationship, you doubted he’d want that kind of life long commitment.
Which was okay. For now.
It sucked but you were never going to beg him or even ask him to marry you.
“Are you just teasing me? If so... then that’s very cruel.”
You knew he wouldn’t play with your feelings like that but then why would he bring that up out of nowhere?
“You know I never lie, sweetheart,” he said, spreading your cheeks to reveal your glistening cunt and your small hole to him. “In fact I think I should prove it to you. Pump you full of my come tonight and knock you up.”
You propped yourself up on your elbows and looked back at him, stuttering over your words and gaping at him like a goldfish.
“What? Are you serious?”
“Hopefully I can we can conceive tonight itself.”
“I – uh – I don’t wanna be pregnant on my wedding day, I don’t want anyone thinking that it’s a shotgun wedding or that I’m trapping you,” you stammered.
“Then we can get married in a month, or even a week. I can’t wait anymore. I want a family with you, I want the whole world to know that you’re mine.” What better way to do that then to literally make you round with his child?
Before you he hadn’t really given having kids any thought. But now he knew he wanted to have a little you. He imagined having just one kid with you. He wasn’t too keen on sharing you so maybe one would be more than enough.
But he hadn’t thought about this aspect of it. The trying phase. How he'd get to keep you full of his cum till you got pregnant.
And how much more beautiful you’d look when you were round with his child, carrying his seed.
“Uh, okay,” you whispered you couldn’t really think straight, it was all happening so fast, but there was one thing you knew for sure--this was all that you ever wanted. To be married to the love of your life and to have his kids.
“What? You’ll have to speak up, doll.”
“Yes, sir, I want to have a baby with you. I want us to be married. Please make me yours,” your eyes watery as you bore yourself to him.
He smiled, moving up to press a kiss to your temple, “That’s all I needed to hear,” he promised.
Turning you to your back, “Wanna see your face when I come in your pussy, doll.” He told you.
Your face was heating up, with the way he was looking at you--as if you were the most precious thing he had ever seen, you couldn’t bear to keep facing him but decided to look into his eyes, dig your nails into his biceps as he entered your channel.
“You’re squeezing me so tight, doll, will make me come, ugh,” he groaned, pressing his forehead to yours once he was completely sheathed in you. He wrapped you up in his strong arms, slowly rocking into you.
“Steve,” you whimpered, “wanna come...”
“I got you, baby,” he hushed you, pecking your lips before being his hand down between your bodies to roll your bud, which had you squeezing him even tighter.
Your entire body quivered as you clenched around his length, gushing all over him. Laying limp in his arms as he started fucking into you.
“You’ll make such an amazing mother... your titts,” he looked down at them, bouncing due to the force of his hips driving into yours. He latched his lips onto a hardened nipple, imagining them fuller and heavier.
“They’ll be even bigger, your hips too...” he whispered against your skin, his nails digging into your skin, sure to leave scars.
“Oh... you’d... you’d...” Make good dad too. He had all the qualities it took to be a good father. And where he lacked you flourished.
You sighed, feeling his warm cum fill you up, he stayed inside you, a leg between and under yours as he laid on his side.
Wiggling his hips to make sure his softening cock was as deep as it could be, so his spend would stay inside you. He collected some that leaked out of your joined sexes with his fingers, bringing it up to your mouth, “Don’t let it go to waste, sweetheart.” As you eagerly sucked his fingers clean.
“Hopefully it takes,” he said, drawing random patterns on your stomach.
“Mhm, guess I can cancel my appointment...” you murmured before drifting off to sleep.
💍💍💍
You yawned widely, sitting up and stretching out all your limbs, aching so painfully since Steve was hell bent on keeping you full of his seed, you could still feel it seeping out of you, he made love to you three more times before he finally let you get some shut eye.
Something sparkly caught your eye, you looked in at your hand and the diamond on it. Smiling in awe at just how lucky you were.
“Wonder if it worked,” you said to yourself, rubbing hand over your tummy.
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kuroos-babie · 8 months ago
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falling in love with a single mom hcs
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INCLUDES: nishinoya, tsukishima, yaku
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you spent a good part of your childhood with nishinoya, chasing away the dogs that had a penchant of scaring your best friend shitless, climbing trees and playing treasure hunt
it was funny, to say the least, seeing how he grew from such a scaredy-cat to the energetic and confident noya everyone knows
throughout highschool you watched him chase girl after girl and he watched you turn down guy after guy
the dynamic you two had was that of a feral gremlin child and its chill owner holding the leash and everyone, including you two, thought you would always be together
everyday was fun with nishinoya's energy hanging around you, no doubt
but when he asked you to travel the world with him right after graduation, he was met with a hesitant refusal
"i'm planning to go to college, yuu"
"it'll be fun, y/n! like going on an adventure!!"
"visit me once in a while"
his heart clenched at the way you smiled at him with teary eyes, "i can't change your mind can i?"
with a soft shake of your head, he sighed
he leaves in three days
the first few months of him being away were filled with calls and pictures of his trips, smile seemingly wider and brighter than before and a part of you regretted not coming with him
but college starts in a week, and with that came missed calls and ignored messages
at some point, neither of you just remembered to hit the other up, caught up with the stresses of your own life and before either of you knew it, 5 years have passed
he came to visit home for the first time in years, no longer the boyish noya you knew but he still had that warm aura around him
you were the first thought to come to mind the moment he step foot in town, his whole body buzzing with excitement at the mere thought of seeing you again
so of course he went straight to your house, feet taking step after memorized step and hands clutching bags of things he got from his travels
"Y/N!!!!!", he calls out as he enters your house which was answered with a harsh shushing
turning a corner he saw you in the living room, lovely as ever-- he thought, and with a baby sleeping soundly in your arms, "the baby's sleeping, yuu"
"whose...?"
you laughed at the cracking in his voice, "mine, who else's?"
man, he looked like he was about to cry
he quietly approached you, careful as to not wake the baby
"for you", he mumbled while handing you the bag of snacks and stuff
the room was filled with silence after you hummed a short thanks
he was looking at the child's face, it looked like you, he thinks
he asked when you got married, "you didn't tell me, didn't even invite your best friend to your wedding", he whined
"i didn't, i'm not married"
his eyes were wide as they looked at you
you told him about getting pregnant shortly after college graduation and getting ditched
he thought of himself selfish as he heaved a sigh of relief
"it's fine though, my parents are helping me a lot", he notes how you looked at your baby with such fond eyes and his heart swelled, he felt like crying
you chuckled at the look on his face, "hey don't look so sorry for me, can't be happier to have her"
"what's her name?"
you looked at your daughter's face and pet at her cheek with a finger, "yui"
nishinoya couldn't hold it in anymore and so he let himself cry and pulled you close
and for the nth time since the day of your college graduation he asked you again, "come with me, y/n, let's travel the world" but you have a child "i'll stay with you here until she's old enough", he said while kissing the tears that slipped down your cheeks
"then we can all go travel the world together"
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he liked working at the museum, he really does
at least that's what he tries to tell himself as he led the group of preschoolers through the sendai museum
they were cute, yeah, but also very chatty
especially this one little boy with the frog hat
"what's this called?"
"it's a fossilized remain of--"
"how about this one?"
"it's--", and before he could answer, the child was already running to the other side of the exhibit
he just sighs
the tour ended and he was getting ready for his lunch break, proceeding to the cafe by the entrance as he always does
his eyes almost caught the flurry of green that passed beside him but he chose to ignore it
but of course it wasn't long after he sat down with his order when he heard a familiar bubbly voice
"mama that's the dinosaur guy!", he heard the little boy whisper loudly, "he's so tall, like a brachiosaurus!"
he couldn't supress the chuckle at the child's remark and he turned in his seat, "so you were listening, i thought you were just bouncing all around the place"
"oh sorry, did he give you a hard time?"
your voice drew his attention and he smiled at the sight of your worried face, something that surprised even him, "not really, no"
he invited you two to sit and eat with him and he listened to your son ramble all about dinosaurs and prehistoric animals
"a smart one, i like him"
your son really liked him too and asked you to take him to the museum again and see tsukishima
and so it became a habit for you to visit the museum every friday with the little boy, waiting for the tall blonde to get off work so you three could grab something to eat
and every time he sees you in the little cafe by the entrancne with your son, tsukishima couldn't help but smile a little and pat at his chest to calm the subtle fluttering as he push the door open
it was a weird feeling he never knew would come so naturally at the mere sight of you two
he bought your son picture books and and figurines and copies of the "walking with dinosaurs" documentary
"we should watch it this weekend..." his eyebrows shot up for a moment at your meek suggestion
of course the little boy was elated, excited to have him over at your house "yes! let's go now! i wanna watch it with tsukki now!!!"
tsukishima returned his gaze on you, "if it's not too much trouble then i'd love to go now"
and so the rest of the friday night was spent on your couch with all the lights turned off and a narration of al the allosaurus' life
you looked over at the other side of the couch to see your son laying on tsukishima, eyes fluttering shut with the man passed out and lightly snoring
he must've been tired
you draped a blanket over the two of them and waited for sleep to visit you too and it soon did
morning came and you woke up to the smell of coffee
"i borrowed your coffee maker, i hope you don't mind", his voice was still low, trying not to wake the little boy
"yeah, sorry i didn't wake you up last night... you looked tired"
he chuckled as you walked over to the kitchen to take out two mugs and prepared some toast, "i don't mind, it was the best sleep i've gotten in a while. i hope it wasn't too much of a bother for you though"
you leaned on the kitchen counter as you took in his appearance; hair ruffled and eyes puffy with sleep, "i don't mind it one bit"
he huffed a laugh and looked over to the sofa where your son still laid
"he likes you a lot"
"so it seems, i hope you do too", his face was smug but you didn't miss the red that tinted his cheeks when you told him "of course i do, in fact i was thinking maybe we should do this more often"
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his smirk grew, "just say you want to wake up everyday to the sight of me and leave it at that"
you rolled your eyes at his comment but smiled nonetheless, "oh shut up"
he had just come back from the nekoma volleyball team reunion, head lightly buzzing from the few bottles of alcohol kuroo forced down his throat
making his way through the carpeted hotel hall, he could barely make out the sound of little feet hurriedly padding on the floor and quiet sniffles
taking out the keycard to his room with the blissful thoughts of finally sinking into the soft mattress was interrupted by a soft bump on his thigh, a muffled thud and a small "ow..."
it took a few moments before the sight of the little boy on the hotel floor registered properly in his brain
it was well past 2 am... why the hell is there a child running around the halls
"uh... hi?"
big bright eyes looked up at him and he can't help but sigh at the sniffles increasingly growing louder
"where's your mama, little guy?", yaku crouched to the little boy's level, careful to keep his balance as the booze and exhaustion was catching up to him
however, at the mention of his mother, the little boy's eye filled up with more tears and was ready to burst anytime, "mama..."
"oh no no no no"
yaku's too tired for this
so with a sigh and a groan, he took the boy in his arms and entered his room
"let's look for her in the morning, okay? i think i still have some cookies in my room, would like some?"
the little boy nods his head, earning a relieved sigh from yaku
the rest of the night was spent with cartoons playing on the large hotel room tv, yaku leaning against the headboard with the little boy snoozing away while being tucked in his arm, cookie on his hand and crumbs all around
morning came and panic surged through your body the moment you realized your 3 year-old son was nowhere inside your hotel room
your hurried to the security desk to report and hopefully make an announcement, head reeling and aching with the sudden rush of adrenaline first thing in the morning
with your head in your hands, you let out a groan while trying not to cry at all the possibilites flashing through your mind
your wallowing was cut short with an "excuse me, i found this child last night"
turning your head back to the security desk, you see a man in his pajamas and slippers, hair ruffled from sleep and a sleepy little boy laying on his shoulder
"oh my god"
the whole conlict ended when you came up to them and introduced yourself, the little boy quickly recognizing your voice and whipped his head over to you, "mama!"
your son reached out for you and yaku couldn't help but notice how pretty your glossy eyes were despite how disheveled you looked
"mama, yakkun gave me cookies and we watched cartoons aaaaall night!"
yaku's eyes widened at the little boy's words and let out a nervous chuckle, "you make me sound so suspicious"
he turned to you and explained how your son bumped into him at 2 am and he was just too tired to bring him down to the security desk
"my tired tipsy brain thought it was a better idea to just let him sleep in my room and look for mama in the morning", he ended with the tips of his ears tinged red
you laughed at his nervousness, "well we can talk more about it over breakfast, what do you say yakkun? my treat"
with the way you were smiling at him, how could he even refuse?
the rest of the morning was spent with coffee and waffles, juice and fruits and chatter
he learned you and your son were in town for a few days, "i wanted to go see the fishies in the aquarium!", the little boy quips
with the new volleyball season just around the corner, yaku knew he'd have practices but he offered to tour you two around tokyo
he wanted to see you two again
briefly taking care of the toddler last night and having breakfast with you, he realized, were very much a welcomed change of pace in his hectic pro volleyball life
"are you my dad? mama told me daddy was working in tokyo" he remembered your son quietly mumbling last night, "i haven't seen him though, not ever"
the rest of your stay in tokyo was spent hanging out with yaku, your son growing more and more attached to him and slept over at his room every night
as promised, he took you and your son on a tokyo tour and even brought you to practice, introducing you to the national team and teaching your child receives
of course your trip eventually reached its end, promises of meeting again drowned in the little boy's tears as he tried to reach out to yaku
"we'll meet again, little guy", he says while ruffling the boy's hair, "i'll even go visit you and we'll play lots, okay?
of course he made a point of contacting you frequently, often video chatting during meal times and bedtime and a few more hours after, relishing in the time he could spend talking alone with you
"i can't wait to see you two again", he always says right after "good night"
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sam-hollandsgirl · 6 months ago
Note
Can you do a smut fic about professor tom and y/n is his student and he takes a liking to her and yes smut lol
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Dear Teacher
Warnings: reader over 18 (between 19 and 22 years old) teacher-student relationship (please don't get involved with your teachers, this is wrong) Smut (Oral -Fem! Receiving- fingering, thumb sucking?? doggy style, hair pulling, breathing kink)There may be some grammatical errors, English is not my primary language
Word count:2283
N/A: I've been gone for a while, I was kinda sad these days and wasn't getting around to writing, so apologies for the delay in requests. I loved writing this one shot, it was for sure the filthiest thing I've ever done and I'm already planning a part two for it.
Part 2
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You look at the time one more time. 23:40. He should have been here two hours ago. You didn't know why you still ended up in these situations.
At the beginning of the week a boy had asked you out on a date, he had been kind of insisting on it for several days and then you finally gave in, to be honest you thought it would be a good idea, you were really trying to get over someone else. You had gotten all dressed up for the date, wearing your new red dress matching the color of the lipstick on your lips, but of course something had to go wrong, without even sending a message warning you that you would be late leaving you there alone at the bar for two hours.
Your cell phone beeps inside your purse and you quickly pick it up seeing a message notification.
"Sorry, I won't be able to make it" the message said.
"Asshole" you say to yourself taking the last sip of your third glass of wine that night already getting ready to leave. As soon as you get up from your chair you feel an arm hitting you, the person quickly turns around and if you thought the night couldn't get any worse you were completely wrong.
"Excuse me" He says still without looking at your face, but as soon as he does he gives you one of those "Miss Y/N" smiles.
"Mr Holland" you say a little nervously.
Tom was too young to be a college professor, he was barely out of one, but he was able to quickly show how effective he was at doing this. It had been over a year since he had started to be your literature professor, you still remember your first day when he walked into the auditorium and you could tell how nervous he was, it was so cute, the way he talked and nervously put his glasses on his face, but after a while he built up a certain confidence, and all that confidence caused not only you but all the female students in that class to sigh.
You had been avoiding him for two weeks or so since you realized you couldn't contain your feelings, you always sat in the back of the room hoping he wouldn't see you and now fate decided it would be a good idea to put him and you in the same bar.
"It seems like it's been so long since I've seen you" he says "I know you're going to my classes because I always get your assignments, but still..."
"I'm sorry, I've just been a little distant these last few weeks" you give a shy smile.
"Got it" His gaze goes down your body looking at your dress before looking back into your eyes "so, did you come to meet your boyfriend?"
He couldn't have been more discreet than that. Tom had been in love with you since the first day he met you, always paying attention in your class like it was the best thing in the world and answering your questions correctly and after you started helping him at the end of class he got even more caught up in your fingers, you were so smart and so beautiful, you were everything he wanted and could never have.
"I don't have a boyfriend" he almost lets out a sigh of relief at your answer "I'm alone today".
"Me too..." He watches her for a moment again "You could sit with me" he offers gently.
"I don't want to bother you".
"It won't be any bother, you know I enjoy your company" He lets slip.
"Perhaps I could stay here a little longer".
He sits down right next to he at the table and orders a drink for the two of them.
"Don't worry, I'll buy it for you." From another one of those charming smiles that sent shivers down your body.
You notice, the black pants that fit so well on his body and the white social shirt with the first few buttons open, he had probably just finished his last class of the day before going to the bar.
"I read your latest work on the Brontë sisters, it was impeccable, as always" he compliments making you smile.
"I think it was the easiest assignment of the year, I love their books".
"I'm sure you do" he speak with a smile.
"What do you mean?"
"I think I know you pretty well, I'm sure I can tell all your favorite books just by looking at your eyes."
"Really?" He asks laughing.
"Yes" He says smugly.
"Then Mr Holland" you say in a tone of challenge approaching him "Tell me by looking into my eyes what my favorite books are" He looks at you, watching you intently in silence for a few minutes.
"I'm sure you love classics, Pride and Prejudice or Emma must be your favorites, and your favorite Brontë is Emily, surely you've read The Hill of Howling Winds more than once" He answers with surprising certainty without breaking eye contact, you blush over his gaze, he seemed to be reading you "So did I get it right?"
"Almost, really my favorite book is Emma, I love classics, but I am also passionate about books like Twilight" you both laugh together " but you got one thing wrong, my favorite Brontë is Charlotte, nothing will ever compare to Jane Eyre"
"I was almost entirely right" he defends himself as a joke.
"You are almost always right Mr. Holland".
"We are not in college, you don't have to call me Sir, you can call me Tom".
"Sure, Tom" You look down at your cup taking another sip of your drink.
He watches you intently as you bring the drink to your lips, the dress fit so well on your body, as if it was made exactly for him, and those red lips were driving him crazy, he wanted so much to kiss you, to taste the flavor of that wine on your lips.
The hours pass quickly as they talk, soon it is already 02:00 in the morning and the two of them are still there together.
"Why are you here alone on a Friday night?" You ask curiously after a while.
"I was correcting the last assignments of this semester and needed a stiff drink after I finished" he says before taking a sip of the whiskey in his glass "And you, why are you alone here? Shouldn't you be at some frat party or something?"
"No" you laugh "I had a date" you say shyly.
"I thought you hadn't a boyfriend."
"I don't, it was just a date, but he kind of dumped me, so I ended up alone here."
"What an idiot, I would never let you get away" He says and your eyes meet for the thousandth time that night. You were already sitting very close together "I'm sure he'll be very sorry later" he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear.
"Why?" Your breath starts to get a little shallow with the closeness, your lips were already so close, you bite your lower lip making his gaze go straight to your mouth.
"Because you're perfect, any guy who has you is going to be so lucky" he takes a deep breath for a moment "God, you're so beautiful."
You finally break the distance between the two of you and kiss him. You pull away soon after, thinking that you had misinterpreted the moment and that maybe he was just being nice to you, but then he kisses you again, but intensely this time. One of his hands goes up your thigh, slowly lifting your dress and leaving a firm grip on it.
"I've been waiting for this for so long," he whispers with his lips still close to yours.
"Me too..."
•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•
Tom closes the door of his apartment and puts her against it kissing her again, his hands going all over her body, now his hands find her hair pulling it lightly making her moan between the kiss.
Their hands finally reach the zipper of your dress opening it and letting it fall on your feet leaving her only in lingerie, he looks admiringly at her body biting his lip.
"More beautiful than I ever imagined."
"Do you imagine me much without clothes Mr.Holland?" He asks in a cheeky tone.
Tom was already used to you calling him that way, but not with that sexy tone of voice you used this time, he felt a sting in his cock when you ask him that, like he was getting harder just from your words.
"More than I should dear."
"What kinds of thoughts go through your head?"
"Don't worry honey, I'll show you" he says suggestively.
He begins to spread kisses down your neck, down to the top of her breasts, then down her belly, until he is on his knees in front of her, Tom runs one of his fingers down her still clothed slit.
"You are so wet, princess, is this all for me?" You just moan in response "I'll take that as a yes".
His hands pull your panties down removing them from your body, he places one of your legs over his shoulder leaving kisses along your thigh without looking away from your face. His kisses finally reach her center, he runs his tongue slowly from her entrance to her clit trapping it between his lips as soon as he finds it.
"Fuck, Tom" his hands grab her hair making him moan, the vibrations increasing your pleasure.
He would take her close to her apex and stop before you could cum and then repeat it all over again.
He holds your clit between his lips again, running his tongue over the little pink bud, but this time he decides to add his fingers to the tease, you were already so wet that the first finger goes in easily and then the second, in and out of you making you roll your eyes with pleasure.
"Please Tom."
"Please what princess?" He asks after taking his mouth off your intimacy without taking his fingers off you.
"Please Mr Holland" you say innocently "I need to cum".
"Good girl" he sucks you again until you finally reach your climax in his mouth and fingers.
He stands up quickly showing you the fingers that were inside you and placing them over your lips.
"Suck" He says authoritatively, you open your mouth quickly sucking your own furrows from his fingers, tongue curling around them as if you were sucking his cock. You moan in protest as he removes them from you, missing the weight on your tongue.
Finally they arrive in your room, placing you on his bed as he removes your clothes, and he makes you turn around, your belly and chest against the bed and your hips thrusting toward him. You hear the sound of the condom packet being opened before you feel him brush his cock against your pussy, from entrance to clit without penetrating making you moan slyly.
"Are you ready princess?" He asks.
"Yes please" you practically beg to have him.
His hands grab your hips, he finally enters you making you both moan loudly, Tom throws his head back feeling how pleasurable it was to have you.
"So tight, you feel so good around me" He says.
Moving in and out of you slowly, just to tease you, you roll your eyes and moan against the sheets, he finds your G-spot quickly increasing the pleasure.
"God, so so good"
His fingers curl into your hair pulling you in and the other hand finds your throat choking you slightly and pulling your body until your back is glued against his firm chest, the hand against your throat was the best part, the fingers squeezing on top of your pulse point and turning your face to him kissing you deeply.
"You like it when I fuck you like this, don't you princess?" He whispers in her ear.
"Yes" she replies almost voicelessly.
"You're a good girl for me, so wet..."
"Tom, please" she begs throwing her head back over his shoulder.
"Do you want to cum baby?" You ask penetrating her even faster "Cum for me."
Your body seems to obey his command and you are cumming seconds later, he comes soon after.
He pulls out of you and helps you to lie down on the bed, you fall tiredly against the pillow breathing quickly. Tom gets out of bed and goes to the bathroom attached to the bedroom. When he comes back already dressed in his pits and with a wet towel wiping you down, he then helps you put on your shirt before lying down beside you.
•─────✧─────•─────✧─────•
When you wake up, the first thing you see is Tom, his arm around your body keeping you close.
"Shit," you say softly so as not to wake him.
Remembering everything that happened last night you are desperate, you can't regret what happened, it was certainly the best sex of your life. But it was so wrong.
You get out of bed slowly, pulling his arm away from your body, luckily he doesn't wake up and you manage to get up. You grab your clothes and quickly get dressed and get out of there. This couldn't happen again, it certainly couldn't.
You wouldn't fall into temptation again.
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tomhollandisabae · 7 months ago
Text
Request; strangely enough, nope🤭
Masterlist
Fandom; Six of Crows & Shadow and Bone
So, i'm kind of obsessed with Kaz lately and i see that tumblr lucks of some Kaz ffs, so i decided to write one...
Tell me if u want a part 2!!
You can send me your requests about Kaz here!!
Lose you to Love me- Kaz Brekker x Reader Part 1
Part 2
Summary; After a long time of Kaz ignoring you, you decide to free him from his misery... you.
warnings; angst... like i am so sorry if u cry, mistakes here and there
words; 1.7k
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You hated your life. You hated yourself. You hated every little detail about you. You hated everything about you and all because of him.
You were tired of fighting for him. You were tired of waiting for a response. You were tired of crying yourself to sleep every night because of him.
Kaz.
The boy you loved but never showed you any kind of affection.
You had met him years ago, they could say that you were the oldest member of his gang. You both started of as friends. Kind of weird but yes, for a small time period you were pretty close friends. A couple years later he started distancing himself from you and you had no idea why he was doing that. Later you found out you had feelings for him, that as time was passing by, were becoming even stronger. And that was hurting you so bad, because he wouldn't pay you any attention.
When you'd be in the same room together, he would completely ignore you, like you wouldn't even exist. When you were trying to talk to him about a mission he either would answer you with a yes or no or he would just shrug you off.
He made you feel worthless, like a burden. You didn't care if he loved you back, you just wanted your best friend back.
Today you were about to execute a very dangerous mission with the others and Kaz would be attending too.
You saw him entering the Crow Club, as you were all waiting for further instructions. This mission was very crucial and you'd be risking a lot. Even your own lives. Never in all those years that you were accompanying him, had you ever attended such mission. You weren't scared though. For your insecurities, you were the bravest of all. That's why you never expected something like what happened afterwards.
As Kaz was explaining his plan, you were all listening very carefully, when towards the end he directed his word to you.
“You are not coming with us tonight.” He said in a cold manner, leaving you and all the others speechless. If only one person was supposed to execute that mission, it was you. You were the most cunning of all and everyone knew that.
“Excuse me?” You finally said, feeling the anger taking a toll on you. Kaz looked at you in shock. Never would he have thought that you would bring any kind of objection to what he was saying.
“What?” He gasped.
“I mean, why would you leave me behind? You know i'm pretty much needed on that mission.” You complained.
“My decision is final. You are not to come with us.” He said coldly.
“Yes, I am coming!” You raised your voice.
“How dare you talk to me like that.” He was losing his temper.
“I am allowed to speak as I wish! I do not owe you anything. I joined in all this shit just because I thought of you as a friend and wanted to help you. After all those things that you have put me through, I am still here and you haven't ever give me any kind of recognition, you have never talk to me in years! What the fuck did I do wrong? Where did I fail you? The only thing I did was to follow every single damn command of what you were ordering me to do.” You were really upset right now and you could clearly see his grip tightening on his cane.
He sat up from his position and approached you slowly. His tall figure stood right in front of you and you could feel his hot breath tingling your ear.
“Don’t you ever dare to speak to me again like that or I will not hesitate to kill you right away.” He whispered through gritted teeth, but for some reason you knew that he was bluffing.
He would never attempt to kill the very first person that helped him become who he is right now. The only person that ever truly cared about him and was there for him through thick and thin. Or wasn't he?
You didn't get your chance to answer back to him though, as he waved for the others to follow him as he left.
You were surrounded by every kind of emotions at that moment. Hatred, anger, sadness, love… yes, love. After everything he had done to you, you still loved him.
But you had enough! You couldn't take any of this anymore, so you decided to do the only thing that felt reasonable. Leave him. Hurt. That was the feeling that was accompanying your decision, but you had made your mind and there was no turning back.
As you rushed to your room, you packed your clothes in a back, took your weapons with you and closed that one door behind you, that had given you once hope for love, many years ago. And like that you started making your way far far away from that place which had broke you. Far away from the man that you ached for, the man that you loved.
***
When Kaz and the others returned from an- strangely enough- successful mission, he thought that he should talk to you. He had never spoke to you like that, he didn't want to. That wasn't his intention, to hurt you. He only wanted to keep you away from any kind of danger. He couldn't bare the thought of losing you. He lost too many men tonight, he couldn't have lost you too. He wasn't going to have your blood on his hands, because… he loved you.
Yes he did. He had admitted it so to himself after years of trying to deny it and push his feelings away, but he didn't last long. That was why he was pushing you away constantly. He thought of you as his weakness. You were the only person that he could ever sacrifice his life for. He would bring the world to your feet to make you happy. But he was scared too.
He couldn't bare the thought of what could’ve happen if someone was to kidnap you for leverage. He was feeling sick in the stomach of what you'd have to go through with those people.
All those thoughts were surrounding his mind as he was making his way towards your room. When he reached his destination, he hesitated. He froze at his feet. He didn't know what to tell you or how you would react seeing him in your room after all this time. But he had to man up and knock on your door. And that's what he did after he took a deep breath. However, he waited a few moments and there was no answer.
He then got worried that something bad could've happen to you and he burst the door open facing a cold- empty room.
Your belonging were gone. Your clothes, your jewels, you weapons… everything was gone. You were gone!
There on your bed he could see a white envelope with your handwriting on it. With trembling feet and hands he made his way towards it and took it in his hands.
To Kaz Brekker.
He could see his name written on the pale paper.
From Y/n.
How has he missed your name, even though it was the only thing consuming his mind every day and every night. He slowly opened the letter.
My dear Kaz,
I don't even know if you will ever read this letter, but it's worth the try. I just want to let you know that I am okay, wherever I might be. I know that you won't even care, or maybe won't even notice that i'm missing, but somewhen you cared. I know you still do, don’t ask me how i do. I can't do this anymore, Kaz. I can't keep on pretending that everything's fine, because it's not, I am not fine. I hate myself, I hate every single thing about me, because somehow that thing, me, made you disgusted. Disgusted of my existence. What did I do wrong Kaz? Where did I fail you? All I wanted was to please you and I am so sorry that I disappointed you. You were my best friend, Kaz. The only thing that matter to me and i've lost you now. I loved you Kaz, always did and will, forever. I have loved you since the day I met you. I love you so bad, that it hurts. It hurts to know that the only thing that ever brought light into my miserable life, hates me, loathes me. I am so sorry to have ruin your days, your life. That was never my intention. All I ever wanted was to show you my affection, my passion, my love. All I ever wanted was to make you happy, make you proud of me, make you see that I truly care about you. I wanted to wake up next to you every single day, to see your smile, to hear your laugh. But you never let me show you those things Kaz.
Why?
Why do you hate me so much? Have you got any idea how bad it hurts to know that you hate me, you see as a burden. Please forgive me for I have made your days miserable, for I have loved you. I hope that you have a good life from now on. Maybe even find a woman that will love you as much as I do. I wish you well, my dear Kaz. I love you. Always…
Yours, Y/n.
At the end of the letter Kaz couldn’t hold his tears in anymore. He had lost you. The only thing that was keeping him going. The only thing that he craved and loved. You!
You were gone and he had no idea where you could have been.
He had no idea that he had hurt you so much. The only thing he wanted now was to find you and hug the life out off you, while drowning in kisses.
He never had known true love. Not until he met you. The only thing that he was left with now was a broken heart. But he deserved it after what he had done to you. His one. His light. His world. His home.
His everything…
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fangirl-everythang · 6 months ago
Text
Mirrors C.T.H
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Summary: Calum and Y/n's schedules haven't lined up in a while. When they finally do, Calum decides to try a reflective persuasion if you will.
Warnings: Daddy Kink, Swearing, Spit, Slapping( well maybe one), Just lots of smut.
Word Count: 2691
A/N: This was inspired by @ContentCalum on Instagram. 10/10 recommend for short blurbs. (ALSO posted on Wattpad)
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Can't wait to see you, princess, xxx.
That was the last text I got from Calum after he told me he was coming home. Today was my day off so I spent the day doing some housework. The four of them really do a number when they're together. Recently our schedules haven't been matching and I rarely see him. Just brief periods between my early work schedule and his unpredictable night/ whenever the fuck Michael wakes up studio times haven't left us much time together.
While that's in the oven I can shower. Deciding against pajamas I just grab one of Calums shirts because it smells just like him. Usually, I wouldn't wear a bra but a bralette won't hurt. With the hot steam rolling down the sides of the shower,  I let the water hit my sore muscles. Work has been overly stressful. Between this new launch and creating a new marketing scheme, you would think we were planning the Met Gala. Putting those thoughts work thoughts aside, lathering and scrubbing every area of my body that has seen this house today. Afterward gotta lotion up because ashyness is not an option, sliding on the matching lace panties and Calums shirt that comes down to my mid-thigh.
Going back downstairs to turn the oven off I get started on the sides. Cauliflower mac and cheese isn't as bad as it seems, hopefully. "Duke do you think your daddy will notice?" He looks at me with those cute eyes, not a care in the world, guess not. The sound of the door opening has Duke happily barking and running away from me. Following not too far behind our fury son I see Calum kneel next to Duke.
"Hey Bud, did you miss me?" he asks playfully petting the sweet creature. He cuddles into Calum further when he looks up at me, "Hi princess."
"You know I think it's unfair when you ask Duke does he miss you when I'm standing right here." I grin. He stands up grabbing my waist "Well I know you missed me love." he smiles.
"Did I? You're kind of annoying." He gasps playfully holding his heart. Leaning my head back I reach up to kiss him. He takes his time bringing his lips to mine so I put my hands on his cheek and bring him closer. His soft lips against mine send me into a frenzy. God, I've missed him like crazy. Parting all too soon he leans his forehead on mine. "I love you." he rasps.
"I love you too bub." I grin going back into the kitchen. "Did you want to eat first or?" I ask looking at him questioningly.
"It's 4 pm Y/n." he chuckles. Well, we can eat later then, he concludes.
"Well, it's our first time together in forever, what now?" He has a smirk on his face and reaches for my wrist. "What is it Cal?"  he walks away and up the stairs leaving me to follow him. I should turn the oven off. Glancing over to Duke he's in his little bed laying down. Being so cute I had to take a picture...or three. Taking my time up the stairs to admire the pictures of the cute doggo, "Cal look at these pictures of Du-What are you doing?" He continues to play with the reflective furniture.
"Do you know how good you look in the mirror? I couldn't stop thinking about all the dirty pictures you sent me," He stares at me through the mirror. "You're lucky I wasn't here babygirl." My cheeks flush as he pushes me closer to see our reflections dancing in the mirror with a tight hold on my hips.
"You're my distraction," he whispers as he slowly begins sucking underneath my ear, leaving kisses down my neck. My heart rate increases as his tongue touches a sensitive spot, shivers running down my spine. "As much as I want to tell you how beautiful you are, well you've been a bad girl hmm?" His hand lightly trails across my neck, his eye contact never leaving as he snakes his other hand towards my front over my clothed womanhood. "Answer me." His grip becoming more firm on my neck.
"Yes daddy." he hums in approval as he lifts his shirt above his head exposing his tan torso. "Look at how sexy you are baby." but he didn't seem satisfied when my eyes stay glued to the ground. He could have any girl he wanted and yet he chose me. I'm not skinny whatsoever. I have more tits than ass and rolls for days. The stretchmarks that litter my body don't bother me but most aspects of everything else does. His hand reaches for my hair in a tight fist forcing me to look up at our reflection, my core aching at the sudden pull.  "I'm speaking to you." he says very sternly, "I guess I'll just have to make you listen."
Stripping himself of his pants and sitting on the edge of the bed right in front of the mirror he opens his legs and pats me over. "Sit." I obey him, anticipation building in my core. His hands roam my body freely lingering wherever they please. He begins attacking my neck slowly dragging his finger across my thigh "Look at you, acting like a good girl hmm?" he moves the cotton fabric up to my waist giving him a view of my panties from the mirror "'gonna be good for daddy?"
I nod silently, he shakes his head in a disapproving manner. "Use your words Love."
"I'll be good for you daddy." he hums in approval, spreading my legs apart. He traces his finger along the outskirts of my panties, my hips thrusting lightly "excited now are we?" he smirks looking at the wet spot through the mirror. Calum slides the thin material to the side, lightly grazing my clit. My eyes momentarily closing at the brief touch before his other calloused hand reaches up, grabbing my jaw, forcing me to to look up. "You're going to watch as I tease your cunt. You're going to cum on my fingers, then you'll watch as I devour your pussy. Close your eyes even once and I'll force another out of you. Got it?" He has a fire blazing behind his golden-brown orbs.
"Yes sir." nodding along as his fingers begin tapping on my clit. "Good girl," he whispers before dipping his middle finger into my sex, the digit easily slipping in. "Nuh that way." he reminds me once more to look up into the mirror. The glass allowing me to see everything at once, the way he looks at me hungrily, his slender finger shining with my arousal. I can see his other hand going to reach for my breast before I feel it, the mere fact causing a moan to leave my lips.
"Awwwe you like watching yourself being played with huh?" he maintains eye contact with me through the mirror, as he adds another finger into my throbbing hole. His length pressing into my back, hardening with every sound from my mouth. "Rub your clit y/n."
My hand following his orders adding more sensation to my building orgasm. The scene before me so pleasingly intimate and erotic.  "Cal I'm goin-" My back arching into him as my orgasm takes complete control of my body, his eyes on me every step of the way.
He brings his fingers to my lips, allowing me to taste myself, whimpering himself when I take his fingers into my mouth, sucking them as if they were his member.  I release them, clean, turning to face him.  "I thought I told you-" I lean forward straddling his waist, kissing him roughly. "I know but I want to please you too Cal." Before he can respond I gently slip off the bed, face to groin. I pull down his boxers just enough to release his straining cock, gently stroking it in my palm.  "Let me take care of you," I smile at him, pressing a kiss to the side of his shaft "Please daddy." He groans, swiping his thumb over my lip and nodding. We've been apart far too long, aching to taste him once more.
I lick his shaft, tasting his pre-cum on my tongue, he lets out a sigh of relief, embedding his hand through my hair.  "Mhmmm just like that princess." He moans as I take most of him in my mouth, cupping his balls and pressing my forefinger lightly on the skin between the two. The feeling of him in my mouth forces my mind to wonder about him being inside of me, stretching me in the best of ways, a moan finds its way out from my throat around Calum causing his hips to thrust more. I clench my thighs together to provide some friction for my thoughts, I reach my hand between my legs relieving myself from all the arousal. "Get up." he demands, seeming almost angry. Not wanting to question him I rise confused by the sudden change of tone, knowing better than to say anything.
He removes any fabric left covering my body aggressively, not saying a word.  Pushing me back till my knees cave against the bed causing me to fall back onto our shared mattress. He places himself between my legs, rubbing his length along my core painfully slow. "Please, I need you Cal."  He continues gazing at me through his lust filled orbs, desire seeping from his pores. He pushes his tip in and then taking it out, the feeling gone as soon as it had appeared. A whine erupted from my lips, he chuckled to himself. "Remind me again y/n," he states in a hushed tone, "Are you to touch yourself without my permission?" He looks at me, his finger dancing over my sensitive nub but neglecting it furthermore. Accepting my silence for an answer, "And yet you did." His head dips down encapsulating my nipple in his mouth, a breathy moan leaving my lips as his hands roam my body freely. My hips thrusting trying to create some- any friction. "Cal I won't do it ever again, just please- please fuck me daddy. " A stinging on my cheek causing a gasp to leave my lips, surprised by this side of Calum. Still shocked, he places his hand firmly on my cheek pushing my face into the mattress. The only thing in view is the mirror with his gorgeously tanned tattooed body on top of mine, hand still placed on my face. He leans in dangerously close, moving a strand of hair aside slowly, his fingertip leaving the slightest touch before putting his hand back with the same pressure as before, "Now watch sweetheart." he darkly whispers.
Before I could question it his entire length thrust in me at once, a broken moan escaping me. With the side view, I can see him pounding into me, each thrust harder than the last. "Fuck- so wet hmmm, such a good whore." he moans, I nod under his hand clenching walls around him, tilting my pelvis to meet his. He removes his hand from my face to apply pressure to my clit, hitting a particularly blissful combination.  "Fuck Cal right there!" I scream as the bedrocks underneath our sweaty bodies. He slows his movements savoring the view before him, his good girl-now fucking onto him, desperate for release. Her hair frizzy, eyes fluttering from excessive pleasure, he never wanted it to end. "I love you y/n."
"I love you too Calum." I reach up grabbing his neck to pull him back to me, our lips meeting once more passionately while he thrust into me again. He presses my body closer to his as my legs wrap around him for dear life, my hands holding onto his as if he'd disappear. "Can I cum please?"  He grunts, nodding his head in approval of my very much needed release. Unable to focus on anything but the eruption of pleasure from my core, repeating a slur of Calums name over and over again like it is the only thing I've ever known. His release following shortly after, the warmth of his seed filling me. His panting is my focal point upon return, watching as each breath falls from his swollen plump lips. I giggle moving some of his sweat-coated hair from his face, "Welcome home Mr.Hood." He smiles laughing at my gesture, "Quite the welcome it is Miss Y/L/N" He pulls my face forward once more placing a soft kiss to my lips, which is happily returned before he pulls me to the edge of the bed, still seemingly connected, placing me dead center in front of the mirror once more. Looking at him with a curious glance, he notions to the mirror as I watch his every move. He pulls his softening member from my core, a gasp leaving my lips due to the newfound vacancy.
His eyes never leaving mine as the smirk on his face grows, kneeling between my thighs. I lean up on my forearms to see both him and the reflection better, the handsome bassist looping his arms around my legs, keeping me in place. "Look how pretty baby." He says watching our fluids drip out of me, his tone of admiration never wavering. My hips jut back as he strokes over my clit, still hyper-sensitive from the orgasm just moments before.  As I retract my pussy away from his devilish grin he rumbles a low growl, attaching his lips to my center, his wide hands gripping my hips with brisk strength-leaving prints in their path. His tongue lapping my hole over and over again. He replaces his mouth with his fingers, the scissoring motion driving me on edge once more.  He leans over me, tapping on my lips to which I comply with his wishes, opening my mouth. He smiles before releasing the cum-mixed spit down my throat, swallowing our combined fluids moaning as he returns his mouth to my pussy. My wetness glistening all over his face as he continues to but himself in me. Seeing his back muscles contract in the mirror each time he moves, watching him devour me in the most sinful of ways. I can see it all, moans leaving my lips between my pleas for him to stop his assault but nonetheless, he persists until my legs are a quivering mess around his head. My bare breast rising with every sharp inhale, my back arching further into him, hoping to get away but he keeps me planted there in front of him.
"I need to- Cal can I-I- fuck please" The words barely able to leave my lips, he stares at me nodding but never removing himself from my core. My orgasm ripples through me, forcing my body to compromise, stiffening as I release on Calum's tongue. My hips riding his tongue exactly where I need him as my fingers grip at his hair, hearing him moan at the feeling sending an aftershock of vibrations through my center.  An unholy slurping noise from Calum is the last thing to be heard as he joins me again on the bed, pulling me into him. His lips providing every emotion needed. "I missed you."
I laugh at his cute post-sex neediness, "I missed you too Cal." He pats my head, letting his hands rake through the mess of hair on top of my head as I trace over his feather tattoo. "Did I ever tell you how good you taste?" he murmurs, shrugging lightly to himself, "Fucking delicious." His hands lingering the curves of my body before he places two fingers on my clit. "No, no, no not again." I chuckle pushing him away as my body shudders from the sensation.
"Hmmm I suppose we'll have more time today." he rasps. "Indeed we will." I smile placing a kiss on his cheek. Let's just say the night was more than eventful, happy to be in each other presence again.
A/N:
WOW long time no see! I can't wait to get back into the flow of writing and now that the semester is over I have more time lol.
I hope you're all hanging in there alright!
xoxo-Janelle
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the-bau-quinjet · 7 months ago
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You're an Idiot
Summary: Bucky panics when he thinks Y/N is catching on to his surprise.
Warnings: angst, mostly fluff
Word Count: 3531
a/n: This request is honestly so cute. It just makes me smile. :)
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"Did you get it yet?" Steve skipped all formalities upon entering Bucky's room.
Bucky's head snapped up from the book he was reading, eyes immediately going to the closing door to make sure nobody was in the hall.
"Well? Did you?" Steve pestered, eager to share in his friends happiness.
"I did." Bucky sighed, knowing there was no keeping this from Steve.
"Let me see it!" There are no words to explain how excited Steve is for his best friend. When he first got Bucky back, a part of him was worried he would never recover from the pain and guilt.
That is, until Bucky met you. It wasn't an instantaneous change, but meeting you definitely affected Bucky.
He was more willing to spend time with the team. He was more likely be found in a common area instead of his own bedroom. Hell, he even smiled more.
Bucky carefully pulled out the drawer of his nightstand, retrieving a dark green velvet box. He opened it, his own eyes taking in the beauty of the ring before he turned it around to show Steve.
"Buck... She's going to love it." Steve smiled, eyes watering slightly. He's always been a romantic. "Have you decided how you're going to ask her?"
Bucky shook his head, quickly returning the box to its place in the drawer. He ran a hand through his hair, a physical manifestation of his nerves.
"I don't know. I have so many ideas, but none of them seem perfect." Bucky chanced a look at Steve, rolling his eyes at his friends exasperated look.
"Bucky. She'll think it's perfect because it's you. Trust me." Steve encouraged him, knowing he needed a bit of reassurance.
"Are you sure?" His recurring self doubt as beginning to peek through.
"Sure about what?" You popped into the room, never one to knock when it came to Bucky. Similarly, he never needed to knock to know he was welcome in your room.
"Just that Bucky deserves to be happy." Steve avoided Bucky's glare as he moved to exit that room.
"Well, that I can agree to!" You plopped down across his lap throwing your arms around his neck. You felt a familiar shiver as he moved his hands, one to your back and the other over your thigh.
"Well, it's a good thing I have you." Bucky pressed a quick kiss to your lips, waving at Steve as he closed the door.
"You make me happy too." You responded in kind, leaning into his embrace.
-
"So?" Steve questioned.
"Not yet." Bucky sighed, still unsure of the perfect way to propose to you.
"Buck. You've had it for 2 weeks! Just ask her!" Steve whisper yelled since the two were in the kitchen. Unfortunately, nosy ears still caught the conversation.
"Ask who, what?" Sam eagerly inserted himself into the conversation.
Bucky and Steve shared a look, only giving Sam a better idea as to what was going on.
"Oh my god. Oh my god! You're going to ask Y/N-"
"Ask me what?" You cut Sam off as you entered the kitchen, heading for the fridge.
"To train with me!" Sam quickly threw out an excuse.
"Okay? We train together all the time..." You looked between the three men confusion evident in the furrow of your brow.
"Well, yeah. But you've never flown before." Sam tried to further explain the lie, earning an excited smile from you and a glare from the two super soldiers.
"Seriously! Sam you swore you'd never let me fly your suit. What changed?" You narrowed your eyes, suspicious of the three men.
"Yeah, well Barnes practically begged me. He wanted to surprise you, but I guess I ruined that. My bad!" He replied, swiftly exiting the kitchen before you could further question him.
"Bucky, that is so sweet! Thank you so much! You know how much I want to fly that suit!" You ran to him, throwing your arms around him in a bear hug.
"Anything for you, doll. Anything for you."
-
"I think he's going to propose." You laid it all out on the line during girl's night. Three margaritas in, and you couldn't keep the thoughts to yourself anymore. It didn't matter how embarrassing it would be if you were wrong. Not when the tequila was doing the talking.
"Oh my god!" Wanda squealed, just as excited as you.
"Wow." Nat smirked, containing her happiness much better.
"I know! I'm just not sure when." You bit your lip, fidgeting a bit.
"Well, what do you know?" Nat asked for details.
"He was talking to Steve about something when I walked in and Steve said he deserves to be happy. Then, this morning Sam was freaking out about a question he was going to ask me. I mean, he covered it with something about letting me fly his suit, but still. I just have a feeling." You couldn't stop the smile from spreading across your face.
"Okay. He's probably just nervous then." Nat replied easily.
"Just drop some subtle hints that you would say yes. Maybe he just needs some reassurance!" Wanda grinned over the glass of her own margarita.
"Okay. Subtle hints. I can do that." You nodded to yourself, thoughts spinning with ways to let Bucky know you would say yes.
-
"I've got it." Bucky rushed into Steve's room, a wide smile on his face.
"You do?" Steve jumped from his desk, excitement overflowing.
Bucky vigorously nodded before explaining his plan.
"Two more weeks?!" Steve was dying for Bucky to just ask you, but if his plan had to wait two more weeks, so be it.
"Yes. It's perfect. She'll be so surprised!" You and Bucky had briefly talked about marriage before, but nothing in detail. Just enough that he knows you want to get married.
"I'm happy for you, bud. You really do deserve this." Steve patted him on the back, as he went through the plan one more time.
-
"Bucky?" You had been looking for him all over the compound before finally checking the living room.
He paused the film, turning all his attention to you. He smiled in greeting, gesturing for you to join him on the couch.
"What do you need?" His brows pinched together in concern, earning a sweet smile from you.
"I just wanted to ask what color you think I should paint my nails!" You showed him the various bottles you were carrying.
"Oh." His pinched brows now showcased his confusion. "Um, okay. Any particular reason why?"
"Not really. I'm thinking of getting a new ring soon, and I want my nails to look good when I take pictures of it!" You tried to sound nonchalant, but your heart was racing. Was this subtle enough?
Bucky's own heart picked up speed at the idea of you finding out before the surprise he had planned.
"Oh, that's nice. I'd go with the yellow. It's happy." He turned his attention back to the movie, trying to cut the conversation short.
"Okay, thank you!" You pressed a kiss to his cheek before leaving the room. Clearly you needed a better plan.
-
"Hi, Doll." Bucky greeted you as he entered the kitchen. "What are you making?"
"Italian Wedding Soup!" You exclaimed, excited to try another hint. "Don't you just love weddings?"
Bucky nearly choked on his water. "Um, yep. Yeah, wedding's are great. I've, uh, got to meet Steve for training! I'll see you later!" he nearly ran out of the room.
"Well, that didn't go well." You muttered to yourself, now angry at the soup.
-
"Bucky, can I ask you something?" He had been practically avoiding you for the last two days, ever since the soup incident.
"Of course." He met your eye, the nervous tone of your voice causing his heart to ache.
"Do you ever think about getting married?" You decided to just bite the bullet and ask him what you've been wondering for the last few days.
"Nope." He panicked. 100% panicked. "I don't believe in marriage."
His nerves caused him to miss the way your shoulders dropped.
"Oh."
"Yep. It's not for me. Just can't picture it." His head was screaming for him to stop talking, but he just kept rambling.
"Well, okay. I was, um, just wondering. Ya know. Wanda was talking about it the other day, so I was curious what you thought." You tried to cover your sadness, at least until you could get out of the room. "I'm actually going to grab lunch with Wanda now, so I'll see you later. Bye!"
You quickly ran out of the room, leaving Bucky to contemplate what the hell just happened.
-
"I was so wrong." You burst into tears the minute you entered Wanda's room.
"Honey! About what?" She pulled you across the room to her bed, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.
"Bucky!" You cried harder as you said his name.
"What about him?" Wanda floundered, unused to seeing you so distraught.
"He doesn't want to propose! He doesn't believe in marriage." Your heart broke even further as you said the words out loud.
"What?!" Wanda's eyes were wide. Her mind went blank at the shock of hearing why you were so upset.
Suddenly the door swung open, Nat entering before quickly closing it again.
"I could hear her crying from down the hall. What happened?" Her own voice was laced with concern as she quickly moved to comfort you from the opposite side of Wanda.
"Bucky doesn't want to marry me!" You cried into your hands. "How could I have been so stupid?"
"Y/N, Bucky is crazy about you." Nat, ever the voice of reason, tried to calm you down.
"I know he loves me, but he doesn't wanna marry me." Your cries were calming down, silent tears streaming down your face as you hiccuped every so often.
"How do you know he doesn't want to marry you?" She questioned further, trying to get to the bottom of this. Nat knew, with 100% certainty, that he was planning to propose. She's seen the ring, even if nobody knows that she's seen it.
"I asked him if he ever thought about getting married..." You took a shaky breath, trying not to sob again. "And he said 'Nope. I don't believe in marriage.'"
Wanda and Nat made eye contact, each expressing their confusion over the words.
"Oh, honey. It's okay. Cry it out." Wanda let you lean into her and cry.
"I just, I feel so stupid." You sighed once more.
Marriage was never something you thought about until you met Bucky. Well, maybe when you were little, but who doesn't?
Ever since you discovered what it meant to be independent, you knew you didn't need to get married to live a fulfilling life. It wasn't something you deemed necessary.
At least, not before Bucky.
There's just something about how much you love him that makes you want to announce it to the world in front of your closest friends and family. You want to share that moment with him, where you express how completely devoted to each other you are.
Finding out Bucky doesn't want the same thing hurt.
"Y/N. You are absolutely not stupid. You love him, it only makes sense that you would think about a wedding." Wanda tried to console you as Nat put the pieces together in her head.
She knew Bucky must have a surprise proposal planned. He must've panicked when you asked him about getting married. Why he would panic that much is unknown to her, but still. That's the only explanation that makes sense. Of course, she couldn't tell you that.
"Bucky's an idiot if he doesn't want to marry you." She settled for blindly supporting your emotions instead.
"It's not me is it?" Your eyes went wide with fear.
"No, of course not!" Nat panicked. "You two are perfect together."
"Not perfect enough for him to want to marry me." You cried into Wanda's shoulder again.
Nat shook her head, silently pleading for Wanda to take over consoling you.
-
"Steve. I fucked up." Bucky couldn't stop replaying the look on your face when he said he doesn't believe in marriage. "And before you say anything about my language, there's no other word for how badly I just fucked up."
Steve eyed his friend with concern. "What did you do?"
"Well, Y/N, she's been hinting at wanting me to propose." He stalled briefly, not really wanting to admit it.
"That's a good thing. It means the two of you are on the same page." Steve tried to reassure him, blissfully unaware of what happened.
"I know. But, she flat out asked me if I ever think about getting married... and I panicked." Bucky refused to look Steve in the eye, opting instead to pace the room.
"Panicked how?" Steve's voice was hard. He always thought of you like a little sister, and if Bucky hurt you he would be livid.
"I told her... I told her I don't believe in marriage." Bucky mumbled under his breath, but Steve could still make out the words with his enhanced hearing.
"YOU DID WHAT?" His eyes went wide, mind stuttering with shock. All he could do was yell. "What the hell is wrong with you? Why on earth would you say that? Y/N must be so heartbroken right now! You know that she wants to marry you, and what do you do? Tell her you don't. You've really outdone yourself with the stupid this time, pal-"
"Steve! I know! I didn't mean it! I just didn't want to ruin the surprise. It's supposed to be this Friday!" Bucky tried defending himself, but he knew it was futile.
"Well, you can still do what you were planning... right?" Steve questioned, unsure if you would agree to the date.
"I hope so." Bucky nervously chewed his lip, trying to come up with a back up plan.
-
You were avoiding him. Everytime he tried to talk to you about going on a date on Friday, you somehow evaded the conversation entirely.
If you weren't on your way to training, you had plans with Nat or Wanda. If it wasn't plans with them, you absolutely had to finish a mission report. You always had an escape route, and it killed him that you felt like you needed to hide from him.
Bucky finally managed to corner you in the gym Thursday morning.
"Y/N!" He nearly screamed from the other side of the gym.
You took a deep breath, trying to ready yourself for the conversation.
"Hi Bucky." You greeted him with a small kiss.
It was time. You needed to talk to him. If he didn't want to get married, that had to be okay with you. You'd rather live your life with him as your boyfriend forever than not have him at all.
He seemed stunned by your greeting, having grown used to you trying to escape the second he entered a room.
"Hi..." He suddenly got quiet, not wanting to spook you.
"Um, what are you doing tomorrow?" He hasn't felt this awkward asking you on a date since the first time he asked you to get dinner with him.
"Nothing, I think." You were feeling just as awkward as Bucky.
"Perfect. I've got a surprise for you." He pulled you into a hug, feeling a sense of calm just from holding you.
"Oh, really?" You would have thought a proposal would be the surprise, but because of your last conversation you're left clueless.
"Yep." Bucky relaxed for the first time in days at the sight of your smile. "I'm taking you to dinner. You deserve it."
You couldn't stop the way your heart fluttered at seeing his cheeky smile. I can live my life like this. You thought to yourself.
"Ooh. Okay, well what should I wear?" You were already thinking over outfit options.
"Whatever you want. Something comfortable though." He was honestly nervous you would say no, so this is more progress than he expected.
"How mysterious. Okay, I've got to go. I'm supposed to meet Nat and Wanda. I love you." You kissed him quickly before leaving the gym.
-
"Ugh. I haven't been this nervous for a date with Bucky since... well since ever! I wasn't even this nervous the first time." You whined to Nat and Wanda. It felt like you had gone through every outfit in your closet and you still haven't found something to wear.
"Y/N, relax." Wanda picked out clothes for you, handing you one of your favorite cute and comfy outfits. "Wear this."
"The two of you love each other. That's all you need to think about right now." Nat reassured you as you changed for the fifteenth time.
"Exactly. Just go enjoy your date." Wanda encouraged you as well.
"What did I do to deserve the two of you." You pulled them into a group hug, laughing when they pushed you out the door.
You were still smiling when you ran into Bucky in the hallway.
"Oh. I was just coming to find you!" You kissed him quickly. "I wasn't sure what time you wanted to leave."
"That's what I was coming to find you for. I'm ready when you are, doll."
"Well, then. Let's go." You grinned when Bucky took your hand, leading you out of the compound and down to the lake.
He brought you right up to a picnic blanket that was already setup on the dock.
"I thought we could picnic tonight." He looked at you with a shy expression.
"Bucky, that's perfect. There's actually supposed to be a-"
"A meteor shower tonight." He finished for you. "That's actually why I planned a picnic."
The feelings of doubt and heartache that had been plaguing your mind for the last few days all but vanished in the blink of an eye.
"I love you so much." You leaned into his touch, sitting next to him while he pulled food from the picnic basket.
"I love you too." He pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, handing you various foods.
The two of you fell back into natural conversation throughout the night. Any lingering nervousness left you, although Bucky kept fidgeting throughout the night.
It wasn't until after dessert that anything out of the ordinary happened.
"The meteor shower is supposed to start in a few minutes, do you want to go sit at the end of the dock?" Bucky stood, his hand out for you to grab.
You pulled yourself up, not letting go of Bucky's hand as you walked the short distance to the end of the pier. Just as you took the last step, you could see a few meteors shoot across the sky.
"It's beautiful." you gazed up at the stars, missing the deep breath Bucky took before sinking to one knee.
"Y/N, I think I fell in love with you the moment I met you. I didn't know it at the time, but I felt it. Every minute I've spent with you since then has been a gift."
The expression on your face could only be described as a mixture of shock, awe, love, and annoyance.
"When I was young, I used to think about who I would marry. I never thought of someone as incredible as you. After everything that happened, I didn't think I'd ever be worthy of someone's love. I still don't know how I convinced you to fall in love with me, but I'm grateful everyday that you did. There is nothing that would make me happier than spending the rest of my life as your husband."
He took a deep breath, looking right into your eyes as he asked the question.
"Will you marry me?"
"I- Yes. Of course I will marry you." You didn't even realize you were crying until Bucky wiped a tear from your cheek.
"I love you so much." He whispered as he slipped the ring on your finger.
"I love you too." You kissed him as soon as he stood up. Immediately stepping back to hit him.
"What was that for?" He looked affronted.
"'I don't believe in marriage.'" You mocked the deep timber of his voice.
Bucky laughed, pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry." He pressed your foreheads together. "I really panicked when I thought you were going to ruin the surprise."
"You're such an idiot." You laughed. The two of you were all smiles as you held each other.
"Trust me, Steve let me know just how much of an idiot I am." Bucky shook his head. "He'll just be glad I've finally done it."
"Finally? How long have you had the ring?" You smiled as you glanced between your left hand and Bucky's face.
"A month. Not too long really. I think he was more annoyed with how long it took me to get the ring." He smiled, looking into your eyes.
"We've only been dating for 2 years. I wouldn't say that's abnormally long." Your brows furrowed.
"That is correct..."
"But?" You encouraged.
"But I told him I wanted to marry you the second we finished our first date."
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permanent taglist:
@averyhotchner @jesuswasnotawhiteman @madewithsebstan
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thyavester · 3 months ago
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pairing; Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
warnings; fluff, swearing, smut minors dni, fingering, spitting kink, strap-on, praise kink, aggressive-ness, daddy kink, degrading kink, choking kink.
Summary: your story with love at first sight.
please know that this is not my best work and honestly I don't like it too much. its also my first post here on Tumblr, but enjoy :)
The music was heard throughout the club, super loud music. it made your head throb, and your stomach turn. you hated being out like this, in front of so many drunk people.
You're only out tonight because your friends insisted that you needed to get out of your house. They insisted this because of the fact your girlfriend of 3 years, Carol, had broken up with you.
You absolutely hated this. The dancing, the grinding, the music, the sweaty people. It all sucked.
Pressing your lips together as your friends enjoyed this more than you did, you slipped out the back and took a breath of fresh air. You slid down the wall, your breath heavy.
"Are you okay, miss?" A Russian voice said from nearby. Your head shot up and your hands clutched your knees.
"Yes. Yes I'm alright. Thank you.'' You responded.
The woman's hair was a nice red color, and stopped after her shoulders. She was stunning.
"You look lonely, may I sit with you?'' The woman asked. You stared at her for a long while, trying to seek out her intentions. Finding none, you nodded.
The woman sat next to you, and lightly patted your knee before taking her hand off you.
"What's your name?" She asked.
You looked at her, honestly scared to answer. She could be an assassin for all you knew. Something drew you in though, so you answered, "Y/N, yours?"
"Natasha," She smiled at you and then continued, "That is a very pretty name, Y/n."
You blushed, butterflies filling your stomach, "Thank you, Natasha."
"So, what brings you here? You looked overwhelmed." Natasha looked at you with so much concern, something Carol could never do.
"Um. My friends wanted to go out. Not that find of it." You looked away from her, staring into the alleyway.
"I can take you somewhere, of you're okay with that." Natasha stared into your side profile, her eyes admiring your features.
"Yes. Yes, I would like that.
Natasha's smile widened and she looked at you. Standing up, she held out her hand, "c'mon, miss."
You smiled and took her hand. It was like she was magic, because the second your hands touched, it started raining.
She giggled, and you two ran hand in hand. The rain was sprinkling on your face, but you didn't mind. The woman you had just met made you feel at peace. She was like a safe haven.
''Almost there." She said and the two of you ran across the busy streets of Manhattan.
Moments later, she had taken you up multiple flights of stairs. The two of you were currently sitting on the roof of an apartment building, still holding hands.
It was like love at first sight almost. She held onto your hips when the two of you were going up the stairs, making sure you didn't fall. Now, your guys' hands were tangled together, her thumb rubbing across your knuckles.
"Y/n?" She almost mumbled.
"Yes Natasha?" You looked at her, admiring her side features.
"I just met you, and I've never fallen in love with someone any quicker." She turned and looked at you, her face flustered under the moonlight.
"I think I could say the same." You looked into her emerald eyes, then down at her lips, and back up to her eyes.
"Can I take you out on a date? Whenever you're free." Natasha said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"I'd like that." You said, a goofy grin plastered on your face.
"When?" Natasha asked.
"Thursday?"
"Yes. Can I have your number? So I can pick you up at your house, if that's alright." Natasha played with your hands.
You gave her the information, before she took you back to the club. She smiled at you, and kissed your forehead.
"I'll see you around?" She asked.
"Most definitely, Natasha." You said back.
_____
Thursday came along a lot slower than wanted. The previous morning, Natasha had texted you good morning, and wished you a good day. That night, she had sent you a photo of her and her cat, Sammy, before telling you goodnight. But you couldn't sleep, so she FaceTimed you until you went to bed.
Currently you were trying on outfits. You decided to wear a black half-high shirt, along with some light brown linen pants.
(A/N; if you don't like the outfit, feel free to think of something else )
Natasha had told you to dress fancy because, in her words, she was "spoiling her girl.", the words gave you butterflies when she had said them last night.
You're phone dinged.
Nat <3: omw darling. be ready soon, our reservation is at 6. :)
You giggled, and quickly put on your watch, and slipped on your shoes. Your stomach was filled with butterflies, nervous on what the turnout for tonight might be.
Checking your hair once more, hoping she wouldn't mind that you kept it down, you took a breath. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.
Quickly, you ran over and opened it. Revealing on stunning woman. You gasped at her beauty, and took her in.
She was wearing a nice, black dress that stopped right above the knees. Also with some nice black heels, making her taller than you. At her right hand, a ring lied on her middle finger. It was a simple gold ring. She also held a single white rose in her.
"You're stunning," you both said at the same time. Giggling, she handed you the flower, and the note with it.
"You're not allowed to read the note until you have all 12 flowers." Natasha said, and slid her arm around your waist protectivly.
"Yes ma'am." You said, and wrapped your arms around her neck, bringing her in close, "God I can't get enough of you, Romanoff."
Natasha hummed, before leaving in to leave a kiss on your cheek. You groaned, "But such a tease. Kiss me."
"I did, silly." Natasha let go of you before snatching the wallet out of your hand, "and you are not paying, so this is with me tonight."
"Natasha." You warned and you only received a hum. "Natasha." Again, nothing just a blank stare. "Baby?'' Still she gave you nothing, so you whined.
"Stop babe. This is my treat." Natasha said but handed it back.
"Alright, fine. Now, to the car?"
"Yes, to the car."
______
Natasha ended up taking you to a super fancy restaurant, well looked like it from the outside. The moment you arrived your mouth fell open.
"Stay here." Natasha said and quickly got out, running over to the other side, and opening the door for you.
"Such a gentlewoman." You mumbled and smiled at her before stepping out of the car.
She led you in, and stopped at the waitress who held up a small pad.
"Name?" The woman asked codly.
"Should be under Romanoff." Natasha said, calm, unlike the other woman. The woman looked at you up and down causing you to tense under her gaze uncomfortably.
You slipped your arm through Natashas and looked at her. She could sense your uncomfortableness, and she brought you in closer, kissing your head.
"It's alright baby." She whispered so only you could hear.
The waitress led you two to the table. Natasha quickly pulled out a chair for you, and you smiled at her before sitting. When you say she kissed your jaw before whispering, "She's checking you out." Her voice was possessive sounding, and you are stomach filled with butterflies.
Natasha finally sat down across from you, and the waitress came back with menus and waters. "What can I get started for you, darling?" The woman looked at you, her eyes a dark gray color.
"Water is just fine. Thank you." You ignored the comment and looked at Natasha, along with the other woman.
"Water is fine for the both of us." Natasha smiled at the woman, almost passive aggressively.
She nodded, walking away.
"She can stop looking at you like that now." Natasha said, staring you in the eyes.
"I'm only yours Nat. Even if I haven't known you that long. I'm all yours." You hummed, and slid your hand into hers.
You two had small talk, asking when each other's birthdays were, simple little things. By the end of the night, you two knew about everything about each other.
"Alright, flower 2 for you miss." Natasha handed it to you, while you stood at your front door.
"thank you so much for tonight Natasha." You said, took the flower, and pulled her in, "Can you please kiss me now?"
"If I kiss you, I won't stop." Natasha said, pulling you in close by your waist.
"I'm not complaining. Natasha I want every bit of you. Honestly, I'd go to the courthouse and get married to you right now." You said and stood on your tippy toes, your faces inches a part.
"Then let's do it." Natasha said.
"Wait what?"
"Y/n. I know you're my person, in the 26 years of my life, I've never met someone so absolutely beautiful, and fantastic as you. And youre on my mind all the time. You're the only one I want to love. And why wait if Im gonna spend the rest of my life with you forever anyway? And if you don't want to, and just want to take it slow, I'm completely okay with that. But I am already so in love with you, Y/n." Natasha was rambling at this point.
"Nat-Nat-Natasha!" You laughed, while she kept talking.
"What?" She stopped.
"I love you. Now, to the courthouse?"
And that's how you spent the next few hours, standing in line at a courthouse, absolutely in love with a girl you had just met not even a week ago. The two of you were love-drunk. A feeling everyone said would go away in a month or two, but little did they know, and little did you guys know.
After you got is inside the house that night, the two of you couldnt keep your hands off each other. The two of you were like teenagers in love.
Natasha pinned you up against the wall and smirked down at you.
"Will you kiss me now? We're married and I haven't even kissed you yet." You giggled, secretly intimidated by the way she stood tall with her heels on.
Natasha's green eyes bore into your lips, before she pressed them together with hers. Her lips were soft, and gentle. Her hands, not so much. They had a roughness to them, that held your hands above your head, giving you the inability to hold her.
You kissed back though, opening your mouth and moaning when she slipped her tongue in, fighting her for dominance. Eventually, to both of your surprises, you got out of her grip, flipped her around and pinned her.
Natasha moaned when you pinned her with such roughness, a loud thud heard throughout your home.
Your free hand cupped her boob, and she arched her back, freeing herself of the kiss. Quickly, you attached your lips to her neck, sucking and nibbling.
When you moved away, a dark hickey being left. "Mine." You mumbled before leaving more.
Natasha was a mess, not that you figured out how wet she was yet, but her hips bucked into you, every time you twisted her nipple or sucked on her sweet spots on her neck. She had multiple hickies you left down the sides of her neck.
You pinned her down on her bad, stomach face down. You currently were finishing making a heart made of hickies above her dress.
"Baby please, just finger me already." Natasha whined, unbelievably horny now.
"Oh? That's what you want princess?" You giggled against her neck and slipped your hand in her pants.
You slipped your hand over her clothed clit, and she moaned loudly into the pillow. "Or I have a nice strap ready for you.."
"Oh god," Natasha moaned out, "please fuck me with your strap, daddy."
Your thighs clenched, and you scrambled up out of the silk black sheets. Moments later you were back, the strap tied to your waist.
You slipped back on the woman's back, and flipped her over. "Such a good little slut." You grabbed her jaw and forced her mouth open. Spitting in her mouth, you looked at her thighs, that were clenched together. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she didn't dare swallow.
"good slut. Now swallow." You let go of her jaw at the end of your sentence, and the older woman swallowed.
Grabbing her dress you spoke, "I'll buy you a new one baby." Then you ripped it down the front.
"Oh god." Natasha's eyes rolled back and her hips bucked as you aggressively tore the dress off, and threw it across the room.
"Mhh, such a nice body baby.." You kissed down her body, and undid her bra that was clasped at the front. You looked at her with lust filled eyes before tearing her panties.
"I'll buy you new ones. Let me spoil you baby." You gathered her arousal on your strap, and attached your lips to her nipple.
Natasha's back arched, and you gave no mercy, thrusting in the 9 inch strap into her, bottoming out immediately.
You grabbed her hips, and thrusted fast and rough. Everytime you thrust, she met in the middle. Her hands were gripping the silk sheets, her knuckles white.
"Is this what you wanted, you fucking slut?" You could barely speak, the smaller end of the strap-on was hitting that right spot each time, along with Natasha's. You tried to show that you weren't as close as you were, you held on.
"y-yes! yes daddy!" Natasha's back arched like a bow, an image you saved in your mind. She looked like an angel like this. Her back in a perfect arch, legs around your waist, perfect red locks sprawled out on the bed, eyes rolled back, mouth agape, and her hands above her head, gripping tightly.
Your hand slipped between your two bodies, and you rubbed her clit fastly. "O-Oh! Oh my god. Oh my god." Her pornographic like moans could probably be heard from down the street.
"Let go. Let go baby." You encouraged. And she did. Her legs shook violently, and her hands pulled at her own hair. You continued thrusting, chasing after your own orgasm.
Natasha's hands clawed at your back, surely leaving scratches. As you were approaching your orgasm, Natasha was approaching another.
The two of you came together. Her legs shaking once again, and you biting her shoulder, your thrusts slowing as you came down from your high.
"Such a good girl." You praised as you slipped out of her. You removed the strap from your hips and kissed her neck, before slipping out of bed. "I'll be right back baby."
You went and washed the strap, before putting it back in the drawer. Grabbing a wash cloth and getting it wet, you went back to your wife and crawled in bed.
"I'm gonna clean you, my love." You told her, and spread her thighs. You cleaned her up, and kissed her thighs. Quickly, you got up and threw it in the dirty laundry.
You almost ran back to your wife, and cuddled up to her already sleeping body.
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ggukkieland · 7 months ago
Note
Hi. How are you? I hope you're doing good. 😊 I've been following you for quite some time and I usually check your recommendations and even checked your other link for those. So thank you so much for doing so because I've expanded my horizon to other authors and their stories. 💕
I just want to ask if you have some reco's for idol aus? I've been looking for some to read since I'm already reading Foolish Love, Fake Love so that's recommeded by you and it was written really nice that I've been rereading it and now I'm craving for more Idol aus. Hehe thank you again. Hope you have a great day ahead. - EJ💙
🌹 Hi EJ! I want to say your message and tone overall is just so warm? It made me smile and want to keep conversing with you 🥰. You’re welcome, I try to share as many authors, fics, discoveries, etc. I find interesting and glad others are discovering them too 💛💜.
Ah yes, for Idol AUs I actually panic every time I get an ask about this because it’s actually not part of my top 10 AUs (I listed my top AUs here). I feel like I’m forgetting a favorite fic when asked about Idol!au fic recs most of the time. The Foolish Love, Fake Love series I was drawn to the bodyguard/E2L component and I have to be reminded it’s an idol fic 🤭.
So, please accept this kind of messy quick list 😁  
🌹 Quick List of BTS IDOL AUs*
This is not as organized as I’d like it to be. I sort of pulled all the titles from:
reblogged ongoing series I’m reading (main blog) - tagged as #ongoing
monthly reading lists (main) - I also recommend going through each list and searching (I just know I missed some fics). I tag it well so just CRTL+F the word “Idol” to give you the fics
fic recs by theme (sideblog) - same process, I just searched each list and found the ones with “idol” tags
some of the fichunting asks (sideblog) - I filtered ones I’d like to recommend
Please try the readers’ recommendation too - I think there are some recos that are idolverse
*I didn’t include AO3 fics.
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🌹 reblogged ongoing fics +  from my monthly reading lists (note: most are still incomplete)
Smoke and Mirrors minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong  - ongoing series Solo Idol!Jungkook, Gamer!Jungkook, Makeup Artist!Reader, Manager!Seokjin, Florist!Hoseok
The Dream Anthology @hobiandsprite -  JJK | ongoing, soulmate au, vet!reader, friends to lovers
Just Facts @yoongiiverse - JJK |  ongoing SMAU, E2L, dancer!reader
Foolish Love, Fake Love @manggojooz - JJK |  bodyguard!reader, E2L ⭐
Angel’s Trumpet @hansolmates - JJK |  supernatural au, alternate universe *series complete*
Navy @jjkfire -  JJK | childhood friends, secret identity/pseud  ⭐
Don’t Hold Your Breath @ilikemesometaetaes - JJK |  more of rockstar!au, exes au  ⭐
Open When @iluv-hobi - JJK | letter form, just fluff
Paper Doll @winetae - JJK | exes AU  ⭐
Playmates @scribblemetae - OT7 | 22.6k+ | Idol AU, Sex Worker AU, Strangers to Lovers
Price of a Wish @joonclouds - JHS | idol!hoseok, rich!reader ⭐
ILYSB @rkiverse - JJK | one shot | 11.1k | idol au, broken-hearted jungkook, love clinic staff reader, fake dating but not really (more of part of therapy) | F, A
The Night We Met @leftonraed -  KTH | 18.2k+ | Single Dad AU, Bodyguard AU, Idol AU | A, F  ⭐
Replacement @akinnie75 - KSJ | one shot | 24.5k | Fantasy AU, idolverse, body swap AU | F  ⭐
A Bite of the Apple @jinpire - PJM | one shot | 8.6k |  Supernatural AU, Vampire AU, Idol AU | S
Oh What a World [100k] @cutechim - PJM | A, S, F, fake/arranged marriage au, fallen idol au (being edited and reposted)
Tongue Tied @btssavedmylifeblr - 12k | PJM | S, F, minor A,  crack, demon au, idol verse, established relationship, pwp
Physcom @teawithkpop - OT7 x sex worker!reader
Not Allowed @whatifyoulivelikethat - MYG x Reader x Jungkook, real-time idolverse  
The Accountant @avveh - JJK | one shot | 3.4k | Idol AU, hired to relieve his stress 😉 | S, PWP
Strings Attached  @jimidol  - JJK | one shot | 4.4k | Idol AU, Friends to Lovers, FWB AU | S, F
from ggukkiereads:  completed fics + fichunting asks (will include asks that I’d recommend) + others in my drafts
Bands @xpeachesncream - JJK | Stripper!reader
There’s a section for IDOL AUs in this themed series  ⭐
Lost & Found @alpacaparkaseok - PJM | soulmate AU where OC cut the red string of fate. ⭐this is angsty nice
Book of Soulmates @/alpacaparkseok - JJK |  soulmate drabble that’s really cute
Just One Kiss @bangtsblossom - JJK |  established relationship, one baking day (fluffy smutty)
Appetence @jiminimoon - JJK |  canon-compliant,  established relationship, smut (I think the scenario was after JPN tour)
Owned @7deadlysinsfics -  JJK | secret relationship, interpreter!reader, pwp
Comfort Inn Ending @joonbird - JJK |  break up au, exes au, themes of infidelity, prepare tissues!, but satisfying ending for each character⭐
Hidden Stars @jungblue - JJK x R x MYG |this is so nostalgic to me since this is a classic. funny thing is it never registered on me that it is an idol au because I was so focused on the relationships  ⭐
Lost Stars @smoochkooks  - JJK | childhood friends, fuckboy au  ⭐
Angels and Airwaves @yeojaa - JJK | gamer!jk  ⭐
Recrudescence @chimchimsauce​ - OT7 x supernatural  ⭐
Baby, You’re Bad @forgottenpasta​ -  yoongi x pregnant!reader x taehyung (yoongi as sperm donor)
Sugar High @yeojaa - JJK |  series [16/16] | 33k | unrequited love, slow burn, childhood friends au, idol au |  F
Plot Twist @kimnjss​​ - KNJ | smau | Idol AU, Rapper AU, Rich Girl AU, Enemies to Lovers | A, S, F
Are You Going to Stay @hollyhomburg​ -  JJK | fuckboy, soulmate au, bestfriends to lovers
Be my Baby by @kimnjss - MYG | social media au, angst, exes to lovers au, fluff, smut, idol au  ⭐
Ghost Marriage @akinnie75- JJK | fantasy, idol au, kind of arranged marriage  ⭐
Ripped Jeans @kookiesjoonies - JJK | idol!au x seeing him in ripped jeans 🥵
Bloom + Sequel  @jamaisjoons - PJM | two shot | idolverse, hanahaki | A, F
Dead Roses @guksthighs​ - KNJ | drabble | idolverse, established rel (they’re like dating but no confessions of love), hanahaki | A, F
2 Years of Lost Time @kpopisthereasonihavenolife - JJK | one shot, 5.9k | strangers to bestfriends, idol!jk, hanahaki | A, F
The Fitting @noona-la-la-la​ - JJK | stylist!reader  ⭐
Also try @cupofteaguk​ fics - they have great idol fics in their masterlist  such as:   ⭐  all too well (series) | the endless winter (soulmate pjm) |  take my hand (amnesia)  ⭐
Always in my Dreams @sunshinekims​ - KNJ | soulmate au, dream au ⭐this is so nice, I’ve forgotten that Namjoon is actually an Idol here. I was too focused on the soulmate/dreams part
Make Me Proud @moonscriptsx​ - Agust D, both idols (part of my daechwita fic recs)
Hobi’s girl @v-hope​ - post-concert; hobi noticed a fan
Tactile Amnesia @tayegi - MYG | accident
Through the Night @nightbts - JJK |  stylist!reader, friends to lovers
I think my blogs are difficult to navigate now because tag search don’t yield all results (which I am currently fixing). But I hope you’ll find new favorites here! 💙💛💜
Enjoy and thank you for your kind message. Have a great day too!
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jaycewrites-192000 · 3 months ago
Text
She Warned You...(Pt.2)
Summery: Y/n warned a creep not to fondle her before beating the shit out of him after he didn't listen.
Characters: Chifuyu Matsuno, Nahoya "Smiley" Kawata, Souya "Angry" Kawata
Warnings: Harsh Language, Slight sexual assault
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Chifuyu
Now some might mistake Chifuyu for some geek who likes to read manga too much. Especially if he wasn’t wearing his gang uniform.
But don’t get him wrong, he could kick some ass if he needed to. And when it came to you, he would fight until he couldn’t stand anymore.
Little did he know, that not only could you fight for yourself, but you would do the same if someone were to threaten him.
It was a bit of a shock when he saw you stomping a guy out of nowhere.
“Whoa! Y/n? What are you doing?” Chifuyu rushed to your side. You stopped you assault on the guy and turned to him with an unbothered expression. “He groped me. So I stomped his face in.”
Oh well that was completely understandable. “I see.” He glared down at the now unconscious man, disgust clear on Chifuyu’s face. “Are you ok?” He asks Y/n. She offered him a warm smile. “Yes I’m ok. Let’s go, I know that manga you like is on sale today. Don’t wanna miss it right?” She holds his hand as they walk.
Chifuyu chuckled. “Right.”
Man he was so in love with you.
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Smiley
Oh don’t even get me started with him…On the surface he might look friendly, but it was quite the opposite.
We all know Smiley doesn’t really need a reason to fight someone. If someone as so much as looks at him funny, he’s gonna start throwing hands.
So when he saw a dude that just would not leave you alone. It was his time time to shine.
Or would be if you hadn’t choked slammed the guy as he was just about yo lay his hands on you.
“Didn’t wanna listened did ya?” You spat before dusting your hands off. Smiley laughed at the sudden display of violence. “The hell was that? I’ve never seen you do something like that before!”
“Well I never had to do something like that before. But I’d be damned if I let someone touch me like he tried to.” Smiley’s grin grew wider. “Why didn’t you tell me you could fight like that? Might have to show you off to the others.” You playfully roll your eyes. "What if they try and take me from you?" You ask. You noticed Smiley's grin grow more malicious.
"Then I'll just have to beat their ass, now won't I?"
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Angry
To those who have never met him before, they would just think was a kid with anger issues.
And while they weren't completely wrong, he could be threatening if he really needed to be. And he'd give them a few bruises and broken bones to prove it.
Though he didn't need to do it often, especially when he was with you. It gave others the impression that you were an easy target because of that.
Oh but how they would come to regret it...
When you felt the hand of some random brush against your ass, you grabbed it harshly and twisted it, causing him to scream out in pain. This caught the attention of Angry. "It's rude to fondle a woman you don't know, asshole." You growl before kicking him in the gut. He fell to the ground, unmoving. Angru rushed to your side, ignoring the man for now.
"Y/n..." Angry's expression turned from bothered to surpised. "Since when could you fight like that?" You turned to him, your dark expression softening. "Oh, a while now." You laugh awkwardly. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks. "Because I've always had you to protect me." You brush your hand against his cheek, causing him to blush deeply.
"I just lost it when I kept telling him to stop, and he just wouldn't." Angry felt a tinge of anger at the thought, he glared down at the still unconscious man. "Well, I'm glad you're safe and that you stood up for yourself. Now come on, this place sucks anyway." He took your hand and walked. "Hehe, ok. My grumpy hero."
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