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#I missed you all
thelugubriousartist · 11 months
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hello i was dead and i’m alive for a bit to post the serotonin injection that is QSMP for my tntduo addled body
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xsunburstx · 5 days
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hi angels! i decided to come back from my little break 😇💕
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purplevhsglitch · 9 months
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maries-gallery · 2 months
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Hey everyone!
Marie here!
I am so so sorry for going MIA for a few months(?), I just really needed the space and some time to focus on myself, my mental health and life outside of tumblr :,)
I missed the fandom though! And I missed writing for you all!
Can't promise I'll be on here as often or writing as often, because I have a lot going on at the moment but I want to make a steady come back into the ikemen fandom <3
Thank you so much for being here and for sending your thoughts! And for staying on this blog while my sorry ass was away <3
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gwendolyn-foxworth · 2 months
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A pirate's life for me…
(Part 2)
13th February
Gwen had been avoiding her brother for days. She was still angry and disappointed that he refused to fulfil her wish. It wasn't even about the drinking itself. Well, yes, but she could also do it secretly with Theo or another of her friends. What she really wanted was to spend time with her brother again. Not in the course of lessons, or for one of her projects. She wanted him to relax a little, to let go of his overprotection for once. 
Sighing, she turned to the side in her bed and snuggled deeper into the warm covers. The morning sun could still wait. She had barely closed her eyes again when the door flew open. The sound of a wooden spoon hitting a pan made the last remnants of her tiredness disappear. By Merlin!
"What the-"
"Get up, sleepyhead! Only landlubbers sleep until the sun is high in the sky," Pascal grinned at his sister with a cheeky expression in his eyes.
"Huh?" Had she misheard him or had he really just called her a landlubber? 
"Don't look like that, get out," Pascal pulled the blanket off her body with a single tug. The cool air made goose bumps run up her skin in seconds. 
"Pas, you mean bloke!" With a simple step to the side, Pascal dodged the pillow projectile. He couldn't stop the grin on his lips. After she had tried so hard to get out of his way, to his advantage, he couldn't wait to see Gwen's face as soon as she came down. 
"Come on, get changed and down you go. Everyone is waiting for the guest of honour~", he teased with a wink and led the way. 
Confusion was evident on Gwen's face.
 It was her birthday, but still, she had never seen her brother so enthusiastic. Especially not after the argument they'd had earlier. What was going on?
Gwendolyn got the answer the second she stood on the stairs. The whole pub was decorated from top to bottom. Nets hung from the ceiling, ropes stretched between the wooden posts and even hammocks had been placed on the side. It looked like the inside of a ship! She couldn't stop gasping in amazement.
Her parents came to see her, congratulated her and led Gwen downstairs. The pub was almost unrecognisable, everything looked familiar and yet so strange. 
"When did you..."
"Your brother had the idea." Her father joined her and patted her lovingly on the head. His gaze was gentle, but she could see the request in it. She should apologise. 
"He outdid himself," she returned, grinning happily up at her father. She had got the message. Half hopping, half dancing, she took the last few steps of the stairs. With a leap, she threw herself at Pascal's embrace and was whirled around by him, making her dizzy.
"It looks fantastic, brother! How did you know?" she wanted to ask, but Pascal put her back on the floor and held a small parcel in front of her nose. 
"A little bird gave me the clue. Here. Happy birthday, you little pest," he winked at her, but his eyes were almost brighter with excitement than her own. 
The little bird had probably been her mum, she thought with amusement and began to unwrap the present. Her parents joined her and watched curiously as the neck of a bottle appeared. He hadn't. No, never in life. But the more she tore off the paper, the more obvious it became that it was indeed a bottle. But it was the content that took Gwen's breath away. Instead of a drink, it was a galleon with hoisted sails. It moved up and down to the rhythm of the waves. 
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Arthur whistled with admiration. His son had really outdone himself. It was no easy task not only to reduce the size of a real ship with magic and put it in a bottle, but also to enchant it so that it sailed forever on the high seas. 
He proudly patted Pascal on the shoulder and watched his daughter as she couldn't take her eyes off the ship. Her face was beaming with joy and enthusiasm.
Even when the rest of the family, aunt and uncle arrived along with the children, Gwendolyn's eyes were glued to the ship in a bottle. Aisling and Finn were the first to ask her about it.  Just like Gwen, the little ones watched the ship as it swayed up and down. 
"Let's go to the beach!" Aisling suddenly suggested enthusiastically. Watching the ship from the shore  with the sun on the horizon would certainly be something even more magical. Gwen was all too happy to agree to her cousin's suggestion. Pascal overheard the words and proposed that they all go. After all, the birthday girl couldn't just disappear at her own party.
The girl had an eye for aesthetics. In the light of the sun and with the real sea as a backdrop, it almost looked as if the ship was in front of them and not in the bottle. 
"Gwenny? How did the ship even get in there? It doesn't even fit through the opening" 
Finn asked with a tilted head and inspected the bottle to find out the trick. Giggling, Gwen took the ship from his hand. 
"Do you think so? Maybe they put it together one by one with a pair of tweezers," she teased the boy. When he firmly doubted it, Gwen's grin only widened. 
"Shall we have a look?" she asked and began to pull out the cork from the bottle. 
"GWEN! NOT THE CORK-" shouted Arthur and Pascal in unison. The warning came too late. Smoke rose from the bottle and with a bang the bottle exploded in her hand. She put her arm protectively around Finn's terrified face to shield him from whatever was happening.
Everything was silent, everyone held their breath.
"By St Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory!" Pascal's swearing broke through the tense atmosphere and all eyes turned to him in shock. 
 Arthur was holding the bridge of his nose, Aisling's ears were covered by a shocked Eleanora who stared at her son with her mouth open. Gwen detached herself from Finn to see if he was hurt anywhere. 
"Are you all right, little one? Finn?" but her cousin's gaze remained fixed on something behind her. Confused, Gwen turned round only to share the same expression. 
"And I told you we should give her some instructions..." Pascal muttered behind her. But Gwen's focus was firmly on what was in front of her. Her galleon was floating in the water, just so that it didn't run aground.
Arthur explained the situation to the rest of the group while Pascal put a hand on Gwen's shoulder and snapped her out of her daze. Full of astonishment, she turned to her brother. Her eyes sparkled like the sunlight in the sea. He knew that expression. He knew that expression too well. 
"Don't even think about it," he warned her with a low growl, but was already aware that it was too late. 
"Mother, Father! Can we go on a sailing adventure?" she asked, bouncing up and down with excitement. 
"I've got a ship! I've got a bloody ship!" she almost shrieked with joy and began to run frantically back and forth. 
Pascal let his eyes wander to the sky, sighed and caught his sister in the middle of her zoomies.
"Hold still and calm down Gwenny. You realise that wasn't the actual plan...".
With wide, innocent eyes, his sister looked at him like a sweet kitten that couldn't hurt a fly. Until the curtains showed signs of scratching. His father's words came back to him. 'you *both* inherited your thirst for adventure from me'. He couldn't deny the tug he felt in his heart. Like the infamous song of a siren, the thought of setting sail was luring him. How long had it been since he had thought about what if?  
The little voice inside him seemed to have decided it has been far too long. Gwen also sensed his change. Her lips pulled upwards, imitating the grin of a Cheshire cat. Both children turned to their parents with bright eyes full of adventure.
 And with that, the matter was settled.
Arthur and Pascal made the ship ready to set sail. Both men used every spell in their transfiguration repertoire to pull a useful crew out of the ground. Eleanora and Gwen packed the essentials into boxes and suitcases. 
"I want to come with you!" 
"Me too. Me too," Finn and Aisling shouted in unison. As much as Gwen wanted the two little ones on the ship, even she had her limits. Muggle children, even if they knew what magic was, still had no place on a magical boat on the open sea. 
"Hey, maybe when you're a bit older. I know it's a lame excuse, but it's really too dangerous for you two," Gwen patted the two children affectionately on the head. How often had she heard that phrase herself? She knew exactly how they felt, but that didn't make her words any less true.
Aisling glared angrily at Gwen. Barely avoiding bumping into Gwen, the girl ran off. Fin followed his sister after a moment's hesitation.  
" She will calm down," her aunt gave her an encouraging pat on the shoulder. 
"I know..." Gwen smiled gently. Maybe she could find something for the siblings on her little trip. Then she wouldn't feel quite so bad that she couldn't take them with her. 
"Can we go?" Pascal asked as the last crate was brought below deck. 
"YES!!!" Gwen twirled around excitedly. She could hardly wait. She would be able to breathe in the salty sea air, feel the swaying of the waves and feel the wind in her hair as described in the books she had been devouring for weeks. 
"Not so fast you two wannabe sailors," Arthur waved his wand around his children. Magic enveloped them, changing their clothes until Gwen let out a cry of joy. Real pirate clothes! 
"Oh Merlin, haha that's fantastic," stroking the fabric of her blouse and the tight trousers that dangerously emphasised her legs, turning back and forth to see every detail of her new outfit. 
"I could get used to this," commented Pascal, tying his ponytail so that it sat better with the tricorn.
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Her brother looked exactly like she had imagined the wicked sailors to look. Even his confident smirk fitted perfectly. Her gaze wandered to her parents, while her mother looked like a fair lady pretending to be a pirate, her father looked like a captain commanding an entire fleet. The slightly disreputable look suited Arthur almost better than the strict suit he always wore at the Ministry.
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Properly dressed and thirsting for adventure, the family hoisted the sails. The rest of the family waved goodbye as the galleon sailed towards the horizon. 
The wind whipped her in the face. Waves crashed against the bow of the ship, splashing the salty water up to the deck. It was fantastic. Gwen's face shone like the sun, glistening on the surface of the water. Her heart beat wildly in her chest as if it wanted to leap out and, like the ship, enjoy the adventure freely and recklessly. Pascal stood with her on the deck. She had never seen her brother so relaxed. His usually stern furrow between his eyes was smoother as he turned his face to the sky and savoured the sun's rays combined with the sea air.
"I have to say sister..." he began. His smile was full of excitement and genuine affection as he slowly turned to her. 
"...every now and then your little mishaps lead to unexpected results that aren't quite so terrible." 
What a compliment! Giggling, Gwen shook her head. But the cheerful atmosphere between the two of them was interrupted when they heard their father stomping onto the deck, swearing softly. Her father and swearing? What had made the otherwise so collected man do such a thing? 
Both siblings turned in the direction from which the noises were coming. The large heavy double doors of the old red oak opened and Arthur emerged from the shadows into the light. Two small, wriggling children in his arms. 
"Oh, you're kidding me," Pascal grumbled. 
"Finn? Aisling?... What are you doing here?" Gwen came up to the three of them and looked back and forth between the kids and their father. While the girl defiantly averted her eyes, her brother looked up at Arthur and Gwen, intimidated. Uncertainty was written all over his face. Gwen didn't even have to ask who had the idea of sneaking onto the ship. Finn had probably only come along because he was worried about his big sister. Sighing, Gwen put her hands on her hips and looked at her own father.
"Guess we've got two landlubbers on board, Captain," her lips twisted into a wry grin. 
"Maybe we should let them walk the plank. I'm sure the sharks will be happy about the little snack~"
She couldn't help but make her voice sound raspy and scary to frighten the children a little. 
"Plea...Please, Uncle Arthur... Gwenny, we didn't mean to..." stuttered Finn, his eyes already glazing over. Any moment now he would burst into tears. Gwen lovingly and reassuringly tousled her cousin's hair and smiled sympathetically. But the expression on the older man's face was anything but joyous. His eyes pierced down at them. 
"What didn't you two want?" his voice cracked like the crack of a whip. It took a lot to make Arthur Kenndrick Foxworth really angry. The light teasing from Gwen didn't help to defuse the situation. Finn was the first to flinch at the harshness of the voice. Tears began to well up in the boy's little puppy eyes. Aisling also seemed to understand the seriousness of the situation. The girl winced as well, her cheeks flushed with shame.
"Father... I think",
"I think...", Pascal interrupted his sister and joined the small gathering, "that there's no point in giving out big rebukes now". 
Gwen looked up in surprise. Arthur also raised one of his thick eyebrows. 
"Your suggestion?" he asked, slowly lowering both children to the ground. Crossing his arms, he glared down at them. Both turned under his stern gaze and looked uncertainly, but with a spark of hope, at Pascal and Gwen. 
"They're already here and we can't just turn round. Why don't we send a message to Aunt Mel that the two of them are safe with us?" Gwen could hardly contain her astonishment. She had expected everything, but not that Pascal would be so merciful with the two rascals. Where was his mercy when it came to Gwen? She couldn't stop the pout that crept onto her lips. 
The heavy sigh from her father, who shook his head resolutely, brought her focus back to the situation in front of her. 
"How are they supposed to learn their lesson like this?"
"Well, if you want to be part of the crew, you'll have to lend a hand," a cocky, crooked smile graced Pascal's lips. Like a true pirate, he bent down to the youngsters, his voice dark and menacing with an insane glint in his eyes as if he had discovered a treasure. 
"Scrubbing the deck, or maybe rowing when the wind dies down. And don't forget that mum needs help in the kitchen". 
The children's eyes widened in horror at the thought of the hard physical labour Pascal was about to impose on them. 
"Come on, Father, we're three magically gifted people here on a magical ship," Gwen finally interjected. ""What's the worst that could happen?"
It took Arthur a while to weigh up all the pros and cons. But finally he placed one of his large hands on each of the children's shoulders. 
"Then I guess we have two new sailors on board!" he finally announced. This time, Pascal managed to dress Finn and Aisling appropriately. The two were amazed when magic wrapped them up and changed their clothes. 
"I'll send a message to their parents. Melissa and Shawn will probably have turned half the pub upside down by now..." muttered Arthur to himself and disappeared back down to the deck, after all he had to break the news to his already upset wife. 
"So... now that we've sorted that out..." Gwen patted the little ones' heads affectionately. The mood definitely needed to be lifted again. And Gwen would be a disgrace to her ancestors if she didn't know just the right thing to do. 
"How about some sea shanties fit for our adventure?"
As if her brother had been waiting for this, he conjured his guitar out of nowhere and let it ring out. The two children's blood immediately began to boil with joy. Conjured up a vivid red colour on their cheeks. Their eyes began to glow just like Gwen's when she couldn't control her emotions. 
She wiped away the last remnants of tears from Finn's face and smiled cheerfully at him. 
"So my scary little pirate~ what do you have in mind for the beginning of our little song?"
The young man frowned with deep concentration. He bobbed his head back and forth until he finally spoke with full enthusiasm.
“Fee-fi-fo-fum!
I smell like the bones of a English man”  
Gwen grinned broadly and began to use Finn's lead and add her own touch.
“Fee-fi-fo-fum
Crossbones, swords and a bottle of rum”,  Gwen began to sing, while Pascal followed the melody. His foot set the beat for her.
“Heave-high-ho-hum
No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum.
From the dawning of the day to the drowning of the sun.
No rest for the lily-livered pirate scum!”, she pulled Aisling and Finn into a tight hug. The youngsters smiled at her behaviour and followed with a twinkle in their eyes as Gwen gave her little performance.
“Salt on my tongue from the spray of the sea.
Drunk on the sun beating down on me”, Gwen leapt up the mast with such vigour that you would have thought she was going to fall off the boat at any moment.
“Bound for a treasure that's never been seen. Where dead men lay their bones”, the playful girl returned to the children and smiled sombrely while they small ones giggled. Dancing in circles around them. Finally, she grabbed both of them and danced around the deck. Pascal clapped and banged gis fists on the hardwood of the railing in a steady rhythm. The crew, summoned by Arthur and him, joined in the song, singing in raspy voices or stomping to the beat. 
The ship sailed calmly on the sea, laughter and singing accompanied the adventurers on their journey into the unknown.
One of the pleasant things about the constant rocking of the ship and the soothing melody of the waves was that children became tired incredibly quickly. After only a short time after discovering the ship and playing with Gwen and Pascal, the little ones became exhausted and sleepy. The tension of the day was making itself felt. Eleanora, now calmer again, took them both below deck. She made a little nest of cushions and blankets for the pair in the hammocks. 
"Here, Gwen," Arthur approached his daughter and held out a small leather satchel to her. She looked up at him quizzically. 
"What's that?" A strange odour came into her nose that made her sneeze. 
"You haven't got my present for your birthday yet," the man simply grinned and watched as she hesitantly undid the ribbon. 
"You're bloody joking father! Did you know all this was going to happen?"
How many times had she seen her brother forget his manners today? By now it was only amusing for her. Her father looked nonchalantly at the bewildered Pascal and even dared to grin smugly at him. 
"My son, what kind of father would I be if I didn't know my own daughter's nature".
Preoccupied with her father's gift, Gwen lifted the green, glitchy... herb (???) into the air. The smell was salty and yet somehow bitter, sour. No, not sour, but definitely unpleasant. 
"Ok I'm lost, what in Merlin's name is that? Seaweed?" she asked, sniffing it carefully as if it would come to life at any moment. 
"That my adorable, clueless sister is Gillyweed," Pascal commented, earning a scowl from her. 
She was familiar with the herbs she needed for potions, but everything about the deeper levels of herbology was a mystery to Gwen. Her cluelessness was written all over her face. 
"Just eat it," Pas urged. "Trust me, you'll love the effect of this herb."
She wasn't so sure about that. Undecided, she peered at her father. After all, she didn't want to hurt his feelings, but how could she just eat something like that? 
Arthur nodded with encouragement. Gulping heavily, she moistened her suddenly dry lips. Never in a duel had she been so nervous before. Come on, Gwen, she chanted to herself. She took a deep breath and stuffed the herb into her mouth just as her mum came out onto the deck. 
"Gwen, what have you just ...", but Eleanora didn't get any further. She watched in shock as Pascal picked up his sister, who had grimaced in disgust, and walked towards the railing. She saw her daughter swallow before Pascal simply threw her overboard. 
"Pascal!!!" she shrieked and ran towards the two men. Arthur grabbed his wife by the waist and held her tight. their son waved his wand to slow the ship across the sea to give Gwen time. 
"ARTHUR KENNDRICK FOXWORTH!!! Let go of me right now! Our daughter... How can you?" despair choked the woman's throat. 
"My sparrow, trust me. Gwen must be in the water for the effect."
His wife shook her head stubbornly. She couldn't believe what her husband was saying. How could he be so calm? Just let Pascal throw his sister into the depths of the sea. She turned round in his arms with a furious look on her face and hit him on the chest. 
"How can you let something like that happen! How can you-"
"WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!"
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Gwen shot up out of the water, laughing and squeaking alive. She landed back in the depths with a splash. 
"What...?"
"Gillyweed, my darling," Arthur explained and held one out to Pascal as well. Grinning, he took off his shirt, put the herb in his mouth as he went to the railing and jumped into the cool water. 
Gwen swapped up again, jumped wildly into the air like a dolphin and laughed with joy. Her hands and legs were strangely shaped. Fins, Eleanora thought. Gwen had been given fins and gills. 
Pascal followed his sister shortly afterwards. They both jumped out of the water, did flips and backflips then plunged back into the depths. Gwen could hardly believe it. She could breathe underwater. Her legs were like fins as she swished through the water. She felt like a mermaid who was said to live in the Black Lake.
She swam with Pascal deep into the ocean, through a swarm of little fish. In amazement she watched as a shark went on the hunt and made short work of the little fry. Together they jumped out of the water with a school of dolphins and played with the adorable sea creatures. 
Curious to see how far they would get, the siblings dived deeper and deeper. At a coral reef, she took a closer look around. She wanted to bring Finn and Aisling something. Who could claim to have received something from the depths of the sea from their enchanted cousin?
And Gwen was not disappointed when she found a huge shell. She carefully broke the shellfish out of the coral. Perhaps she would be lucky and find a pearl or two inside. 
Her friend wanted to show Pascal her find and was greeted with a long sea cucumber, which he held teasingly in front of her face. Screeching underwater, especially with gills, was not exactly the most pleasant thing imaginable. She hoped her brother would suffocate underwater when he started laughing hysterically. 
Despite everything, Gwen couldn't describe how she felt right now. Her emotions were a jumble like a raging storm. She had never felt so happy and joyful. Never so free and carefree. It was the best birthday she could ever have wished for, could ever have dreamed of. 
She spent the rest of the day in the sea until her skin resembled that of her grandmother. 
The sun slowly but surely began to sink behind the horizon. Colouring the sky a fiery red. Aisling and Finn had also awoken from their slumber. Naturally, they were a little disappointed that they had missed the spectacle, but Gwen's find turned out to be successful. A shimmering pearl had indeed been hidden in the shell. 
They all sat together on deck in the glow of the moonlight. She had never seen the stars so clearly. A sparkling curtain of gemstones, it seemed. She could understand Felix and Amit's enthusiasm a little now. Gwen sighed heavily. A feeling of homesickness spread through her. She missed her friends. She missed leading William around by the nose or plotting the next prank with Eva and Theo. Disturbing the peace in Felix's dorm or sending cheeky messages to Sebastian. Heck she even missed that cheeky little Niffler who let her look like a Saint. Tears threatened to escape inside her. As if Pascal could sense her mood swings, he put a reassuring arm around his sister. 
"Let it out, sister"
That was all it took. She stubbornly blinked away the tears and sat up. Pascal took out his guitar and began to pluck the strings. A powerful melody, like the march into battle.
“Аіm high, ѕwing hаrd
Lеave it оut there, no regrets
Му blood is in the water and the sharks are taking bеts
Тhey сircle in waitіng for my final breath
Вut they won’t see me drown”, Her voice rang out in the depths of the night, the lights on the ship reflected in the water and the gentle waves. Smirking, she looked into the depths and wandered the deck. She gave free rein to all her feelings, steeled her heart.
“І hoist my sails for the treаsurе in the ѕea.
The winds that blow behind me take me where I’m suppоsеd to be”, Gwen stretched her hand towards the sky and saw Hogwarts in front of her. 
“I’m raising hell for the ones who don’t believe.
Their words can’t drag me down”, laughing, she leapt from the ground, little flames dancing around her.
“Whеn the wіnd rips the tide
I will sail, reach the other side.
Let the storm rоll on wild.
I waѕ born for this”, She stared longingly at the more bathed in silver light. Determination in her gaze.
“I’m unsinkable
Woah-oh-oh
Woаh-oh-oh
Wоah-oh!”
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supercutedinosaurs · 4 months
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The last year has been hard. Very long explanation and TL;DR under the cut.
I started a new job in August 2022. I had been looking for a few months, but had more or less given up hopes for the new school year, so It was entirely unexpected. I had taught in the same school for 12 years and, even though it had become toxic and stagnant, I felt very connected to the community and had made a lot of good friends. Suddenly switching to a new school to teach a new subject less than a month before the new year began was stressful, to say the least. My new school community has been generally friendly and welcoming, and, professionally, I am much happier. But I miss my friends, I'm still trying to acclimate, and my new position as a counselor/social-emotional learning educator comes with a heavy emotional burden. I do see this as a largely positive move, but it's been incredibly overwhelming and up-ended my world more than I initially realized.
The real trauma (possibly for lack of a better word) came early in 2023. One of my best friends, someone I had known since we were 14, died of cancer in January. He was 38 years old. To say that the grief has been unbearable is a massive understatement. I pretty much spent the rest of winter crying, and it's still hard to think about him and not feel like my heart is physically breaking. I've always struggled with depression, but there's been a foundation of profound sadness underlying everything I've done or felt this year. I miss him so, so much. We met in our high school drama club and were both close to our teacher, Mr. P., who died nearly six years ago, so my friend's death has also brought up a lot of unresolved feelings about that. (This teacher was a father figure to me.) I've lost people before, but I don't think I've ever been in this much emotional pain for so long, and I don't see that changing anytime soon.
When I was driving to see my friend for the last time and to his funeral, I listened to/read books so I wouldn't have to think about what I was actually doing and why. I read Red, White, and Royal Blue and immediately wanted more, but there was no sequel. Then I read Her Majesty's Royal Coven, but the sequel wasn't coming out for months. I read Anatomy and Immortality and was super bummed that it was only a duology. (I was also really disappointed with the ending.)
I bought Carry On years ago after I read Fangirl, and it had been living in my Audible library along with all the other books I'm "going to get to." And then in mid-March during my school's spring break, I found Carry On again and figured I might as well. It was funny, and romantic, and sad. It was both a distraction and a cathartic release. And I then I learned that there were two other books! And a short story that had come out a few month prior! And an official AU comic/graphic novel!
I was sad when I finished the series for the first time, so I read it again. Then it was my birthday, so I read it again. Then I had a rough week at work, so I read it again. Then two family members died in a three-week span, so I read it again. The Simon Snow series really did become my emotional support books. I listened to them again and again over the summer. I also remembered that Tumblr existed (I'm kind of a fandom old. Like, a Wolfstar shipper on LiveJournal in the early 2000s old. I didn't discover fandom Tumblr maybe around 2015.) and found a small active, welcoming, and extremely talented Snowbaz fandom. There was so much amazing fic, art, and analyses. I've always had some social anxiety issues, even in online communities, but everyone I interacted with was really nice. I was even encouraged to start writing again, which I did! And I got positive feedback!
I really, really enjoyed writing and the fandom in general. I knew summer was ending and that I had a lot of work that I had been putting off. I also know how my ADHD works, and that I tend to get really into things for a while before ultimately walking away, sometimes forever. But going on tumblr, writing, and generally obsessing over Simon and Baz was extremely satisfying and made me happy. I was even trying to psych myself up to join the Discord despite my aforementioned social anxiety.
And then I told my therapist about it. I love her and she's been incredibly helpful, but sometimes she's a buzzkill. In this case, she mentioned that I was maybe using Simon Snow as a form of escapism so I wouldn't have to think about my friend's death, the upcoming school year, or the general terribleness of the world. And, to be fair, she was kind of right. I backed away tumblr and my writing so I could prepare to go back to work and try to work through my feelings. It was never my intention to disappear completely, but sometimes the only way I can focus is to rid myself of all distractions. Of course, I just found new distractions and ways to avoid dealing with hard things that weren't nearly as satisfying as Simon Snow. So basically, I've been low-key miserable for the last three months. This isn't entirely because I wasn't active in the fandom; the start of the current school year has been insanely busy and kind of rough and I've had some minor family drama. I feel like I've been taking on a lot of negative emotions from the people around me and I'm just tired.
I finally let myself re-read the books again and, again, it was a release and a relief. I missed Simon and Baz, and Penny and Shepard, Agatha and Niamh, and Watford and the World of Mages in general. And I missed all of you. I still don't know if this is the healthiest way to cope with my depression, but it makes me happy, and I'm going to try to be more mindful of trying to find a balance of real life and fandom. I even wrote a little bit today! I'm going to try to use the COC prompts as inspiration, even if I can't stick to the schedule or don't wind up posting anything. And I'm excited to catch up on all of your wonderful work!
TL;DR: I've been dealing with some heavy stuff, Simon Snow and the fandom were wonderful escapes that made me happy, I disappeared so I could get work done and try to deal with my emotions, but wasn't happy, so fuck it, I'm back.
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slytherinslut0 · 2 months
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WE MISS YOU WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN
IM HERE BABY IM HEREEEEEE
sometimes i get drunk and accidentally delete apps off my phone. sometimes said apps tend to act up and not let me log back in. sometimes i have to email support and get them to help me. sometimes i nearly freak the fuck out.
BUT IM BACK AND READY TO ATTACK. YOU BEST RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
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sxbby-prince · 3 months
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hi lovers sorry I was away for so long, I was being a good boy for Santa 🥰
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Hi, it's me 🌻
*taps the mic* Anybody still here? This is me saying I'm still here and I'm trying to be more active. Those of you who know me, or have been following me for a while, know I love to write fluff... and with November and December gone (which are the worst months for me at work and also mentally), I decided I need more fluff - and maybe you do too.
As I don't have a clue what to write next I'm going to ask you - if you're still here that is ;)
The nominees are:
Also if you just want to chat, have ideas or anything: you can message me or send an ask all the time
Tati🩷
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angelgnome · 9 months
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hi besties, guess who is back <333
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azurelyy · 9 months
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Hello, all <3
Just wanted to post this quick little update to let you all know I’m slowly working my way towards reintegrating myself to Tumblr. My mental health has not been healthing for awhile, but I’ve started some new medication and my motivation is coming back! I’ll have to post a proper little reintroduction post/update soon, because I have gained a ton of new friends on here 💜
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abbyslev · 7 months
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guess who’s back and ready than ever
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frogtossing · 7 months
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IM BACK!
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another-white-void · 2 months
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I'm finally back bitches
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thetempleofnyx · 5 months
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rises from the dead…. hello friends 🍓
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oliviawonderfulcat19 · 6 months
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I'M BACK!
Did you all miss me? Well now I'm currently watching Oswald The Lucky Rabbit on Disney+! (Don't forget I can watch Paul Radish's Mickey's cartoons now!)
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