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#I need Sam realizing he’s done wrong and being loved anyways
parkers-gal · 5 months ago
hey honey! how are you doing?
i was wondering if you could write something where the reader is either tom or harrison’s sister, around 19-20 years old, and she hears her brother talking bad about her behind her back and she gets distant towards them and her brother realizes how much he’s missing out on (her first boyfriend and stuff like that)
sorry if it’s long or if you don’t wanna write it lol it was just an idea!!
don’t be sorry! i loved this! also doing pretty good :-)
i didn’t really understand what was in the ending parentheticals so i hope this is what you wanted!
wc: 1.7k
Being the established girl in a group of four boys meant a lot of things. Often, you were confused as a girlfriend to whichever boy you were accompanying, aside from your brother, of course. There was a lot of territory that came with being close family-friends with the Holland family. Especially since your brother used to be Tom’s assistant. It was expected, though, because they had been close friends growing up, especially since being in the same grade. 
You were younger, which meant you were in between ages for the twins and Paddy. You didn’t consider yourself too young for them, though, and found yourself in the presence of the boys for most of your time. 
Today, however, you were with your friend Aisha, walking around the shops. She had to leave unexpectedly early, so you parted ways. You came into the house quietly, setting a few things as you silently made your way into the kitchen. It wasn’t actually your house, but you practically spent all of your time there anyways. You heard voices coming from the den. Though you knew it was wrong, you halted in announcing your arrival, choosing to listen in on what they seemed to be joking around about. 
“Finally got ‘er off your back, huh mate?” You heard Tom’s voice, followed with joined laughter from everyone else. Your mind wandered, thinking maybe Harrison had a girl he was interested in, though he never brought that up, so you stayed quiet to hear more. 
“Yeah. Out with Aisha or whatever.”
Your eyes widened as the realization dawned on you. You purse your lips and think not to assume anything just yet. 
“That her only her friend?”
“Honestly,” Harrison laughs in agreement. “Mum said to be a good older brother but I’m tired of playing babysitter.” They all laugh again and you will yourself not to burst into anger — or worse: cry. “She’s gotta grow up or something.”
“Mate.” Tom snickers. “She needs a life. The boys are a tight circle; can’t let no baby sister in on that.”
“Yeah,” Harry’s voice pops in. “Who else would we spill disgusting secrets to?” They laugh seemingly in universal knowledge. 
“Anyways,” Tom settles down. “Good thing we finally got the superior Osterfield alone, for once.”
You abandon your station near the kitchen door and speed walk out the other swing door. You pick your bags up quietly, making for a quick escape as your tears attempt the same. You’re almost done putting your shoes on when Sam comes down the stairs, brows furrowed while he wipes his damp hands on the front of the shirt. You curse in realizing he was probably in the bathroom. 
“Y/N? Everything okay?”
“Uh…” You glance to the hallway that leads to the kitchen, wearily hoping nobody comes out. “Yeah, just uh… forgot I had to do something. I’ll see you later.”
You quickly make your way out of the house, shoving everything into your car while you can, starting the engine with great speed. Sam was in the middle of saying something else to you on your wait out, but he never got around to finishing because you were already out of the door. 
He didn’t mention anything to the boys, trusting that you were okay and that you did actually have something to do. 
That night, you tried not to cry yourself to sleep in your small apartment, one you shared with Aisha. When you woke the next morning, she wanted to go to the skating rink for some fun, so you agreed, eating breakfast before showering. You spent the entire day there, really, and let your phone in a rented locker, ignoring the texts from a few of the boys asking if you wanted to come over for a movie and some pizza. 
When you did have the chance to reply — over five hours later — you gave them scarce replies in the main group chat, apologizing without much sorrow. From their end, they shook it off, knowing you probably just had other plans that specific day. The five of you were planning on going to the golfing course tomorrow, so you’d get time together then. 
But they were wrong, because you cancelled on them, simply stating that “golf isn’t your mood, today.” They’d accepted that, but Harry knew that was bullshit, because half of the fun of golfing was competing with you.
They tried not to think much of your absence while they were on the field, but it was weird and awfully quiet without you. They’d figured it might be different throughout the week, but they were still wrong. You were with other people throughout the week while you could be, and it only made it worse for the boys because you were posting it all over your social media. Not in a flaunting manner, but just for the aesthetics. They didn’t find it very pleasing, though. 
Harrison knew something was off, knew you didn’t normally just start ghosting people unless you had a real reason. He intended on figuring out what that reason was, and Tom was hell bent on learning it too. They drew up a plan to get you to come over, telling you they had a few of your missing things. You complied, figuring you’d have to face them at some point. 
Strolling up to the house for the first time in ten days, you opened the door as casually as you could, only to be met with four pairs of eyes staring in your directions from seats in the open living room. 
“Uhm,” You cleared your throat. “Where’s my stuff?” Tom wordlessly points to a bag on the head of the couch, and you pick it up wearily, sifting through it while you hummed. “Thanks, I’ll just take this and get out of your hair.” 
“Well, wait-” Tom stands abruptly. “Why… why don’t you hang out for a bit?”
“I mean… do you want to?” The tone in which you speak catches him off guard for all of ten seconds before each of the boys are nodding their heads.
“Of course we do.” Harrison smiles and you nod wearily. 
However, you don’t make any move in settling down for the long run, and Tom huffs. “What’s going on here?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re avoiding us!” Harry concludes. “Why?”
You clear your throat, looking at your feet while your tongue clicks. “I, uhm, I heard you guys talking the other day.”
Harrison raises his eyebrows as a silent message for you to elaborate a little.
“You said you were tired of babysitting me, so I gave you guys some space.” They all physically defeat and you begin to defend yourself. “I just thought it’s what you wanted! You don’t have to explain.” You’re unknowingly beginning to tear up, and they all know it before you do. 
“I think we should talk.”
“No, I- uhm…” You glance out the window to your car. “I should really get going.”
“No!” Harry pleads with you. “We just… we miss you.”
You stop short in your tracks, turning around slowly. “Well I don’t really think you get to. Not after what I heard.”
“That’s not fair, Y/N/N, and you know it.” Harrison’s stern with you, and you can feel the tension beginning to set nicely like a creamer. 
“None of this is really fair for me, so why should it be fair for you?” You point a finger up in their direction while you shrug offendedly. “I mean, if you’re gonna say one thing don’t act like you don’t mean it.”
“But we didn’t,” Harrison says. 
“Really, we didn’t. It was a stupid thing to say.” Tom adds on. 
“Yeah, we’d never say it knowing you were there.”
“Oh, but you’d say it if I wasn’t around?” You’re making this more difficult, you realize, but you don’t much care, because when feelings get hurt, things get difficult, and you’ve come to terms with that. 
“That’s not what I meant.” Harrison crosses his arm. 
“No, but that’s what you implied.” You jab him back with your next words. 
“Stop making this hard.” He’s reminding you of what things were like when you were young and arguments were regular. 
“I’m not the one that started this.” You huff angrily, hand finally gripping the handle of the front door, swinging it open and slamming it harshly with an “I’ll see you all around.” 
Tom blinks, glancing to Harrison in question on what to do next. Harrison sighs and so does Harry. 
“I saw her leaving that day she heard you guys.” Sam speaks calmly, almost nervously. “She was- uh… she was crying.” “Oh jesus.” Tom groans, hands running through his curls. “We made her cry, Haz.”
“I know, I know.” He speaks hastily. “C’mon, I know what to do.” He picks his coat up, opening the front door as the rest of the boys follow him out. 
You’re coming home that night after spending the rest of your day at the country club with some friends. You’re alone, of course, expecting to eat dinner with Aisha, though the two of you normally dine separately because you’re always with the boys and she’s always with her girlfriend. Things are different now, though. 
As you open the door to your flat, you expect to find it dark and empty, but you’re met with your favorite take out meal and four very sorry boys, a large teddy bear sitting on the couch for you. You drop your bags and glance at each of them. 
“What’s all this?”
“We’re really, really, really sorry.” Harrison steps forward with an apologetic smile and three DVD disks in his hands, all of your favorite movies. “But me especially. I love having you around… even if you are my baby sister.” You slap his arm playfully and he laughs. You let a smile creep onto your face at his demeanor. “We really missed you this past week.”
You nodded, fiddling with your fingers. “It just… hurt. You broke the one rule I thought…. The rule I thought we all swore to keep.”
“I know.” He sighs, looking at the boys as everyone says it simultaneously. “The circle before yourself.”
You’d seemingly all established it during your first all-nighter as a group of five. You vowed to put them before your own silly ego or public facade. Obviously, some things are harder for others.
“Can you ever forgive me?”
“Can you ever forgive us?” Tom speaks up, eyes deep.
You smile softly, voice laced with feelings. “Of course I can.” You don’t miss the smiles that break out onto their faces, and when everyone comes in for a group hug, they know things are going to be okay. 
read the spinoff! - circles before yourselves - rule #2
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wenellyb · 2 months ago
can we talk about the police scene? yes Bucky didn't recognize his privilege. but a lot of people wrote he was awful and while he does need to educate himself and do better, he knew that Sam talking back to the cops could end up badly, and he was focusing on anything that would get Sam out of that situation "Give him your ID so we can get out of here" and I don't see any of them being the kind of people who say do you know who I am to get anything and he literally says "Do you know who this is?"
Hi Anon, 
Of course, we can talk about the police scene but you may not like what I have to say. I hope you will read this though and think about it and let me know how you see things now that you've heard/seen my perspective.
For the first part, I have been through most of the Sambucky tags since the show aired and I haven't seen anyone call Bucky "awful" for that police scene but I have seen people rightfully calling him out for his behavior during the police scene. Bucky not only did not realize his privilege yes, but also sided with the police.... You say that you "don't see any of them being the kind of people who say do you know who I am to get anything" but this is just finding excuses for Bucky.  You make it sound like he didn't have any other option but he did. He did. He could have pulled out his phone and started recording the scene...He could have put himself between Sam and the police and asked them why they wanted to see his ID. There are so many things he could have done and he chose another option, he sided with the police and implicitly made their request valid... "It's just an ID Sam... give it to them..." "Who cares if they want to see it only because you were raising your voice?" Did you stop a minute to think about how hurtful/humiliating it could be for Sam? Or how he felt? The police wrongfully ask him for his ID because he was "raising his voice at a White man". I'm not American but I don't think it's illegal  to raise your voice there.
But his "friend/partner" thinks that just giving them the ID is ok... Like...'let it slide Sam" ... "It's ok that these man are humiliating you"... "let it slide so we can get out of here." What's next ..."It's ok Sam let them search drugs on you, we both know that you don't have any on you anyway?"
The police had no right to ask that... but Bucky thought it would be much easier if Sam just complied. You cannot "comply" when faced with an injustice, but somehow that's what Bucky wanted him to do. Also, I don't think you are realizing it here... but by saying "Bucky knew that Sam talking back to the cops could end up badly, and he was focusing on anything that would get Sam out of that situation" you are implying that Bucky was right and was trying to solve the situation, and Sam was wrong because he was the one escalating the situation... And Sam wasn't "talking back" to the police, he's not a child being punished by his parents. He was a man defending his rights. Bucky is not the victim here, being called out for his behavior does not make him a victim... Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are trying to make it sound like he is, and that he had no choice but to behave the way he did but he did have other options. Bucky is not a baby but a grown man who is responsible for his actions.... We have seen that the man owns a TV and watches the news so it is safe to assume that Bucky is aware of how dangerous it can be for a Black man when confronting the police... He also knows Black men get in trouble for the smallest stuff... And you want me to pretend it was ok for him to behave like this? Yes, he wasn't aware of his privilege and he was clueless... which doesn't mean he's a bad guy but that he has a lot of work to do on himself. I love Bucky Barnes so much and I feel for him, and I want him to be safe and protected, but it is takes like these that make me want to shove him aside and never think about him again. The show did a great job of trying to show how Bucky made some realizations and tried to learn from his mistakes. Episode 5&6 Bucky would probably say that his behavior in episode 2 was sh*tty, but the fandom is still to find excuses for him and act like he was the victim... Ep 5&6 Bucky would have had Sam's back if the situation had happened again. (It's the same for his behavior with Sam... Episode 5&6 Bucky is the one taking care of Sam.... But the fandom is still stuck in the episode 2,3,4 dynamic where Sam is concerned about Bucky and nobody is taking care of Sam...Please stop babying Bucky... They both need to be taken care of) We are taught to forgive White Men for literally anything and condemn Black men for even the tiniest fault.  You don't believe me? I was there when some people tried to "cancel" Anthony because of an old interview where he made a joke about women and sandwiches, but they didn't have the same energy when Renner and Cevans were openly talking about Black Widow being a wh*re for having had several boyfriends and Sebastian Stan making a problematic instagram post when Colin Kaepernick was kneeling before his games.
I'm not defending Anthony's joke or saying Chris and Seb should be cancelled... I'm asking why you would ignore the problematic behavior for some and then call it out for others? I've seen so many people crying "poor Bucky" and I agree with that, I love that character... But  Sam went through so much painful moments, not only the police scene... but Sam's feelings are always ignored by a big part of the fandom. When it comes to defending Bucky, however, or talking about Bucky's feelings, the whole squad is there... Even when he doesn't need defending. White men and Black men are held to a different standard, in real life and also in fandoms.
I'm on my phone so my links might not work properly but I made a post about episode 2 and about how the fandom focuses too much on Bucky and has a tendency to ignore Sam.... I'm not saying that you are ignoring Sam but you seem like you have a tendecy to over protect Bucky even when it's not needed. In this case it was not needed.
You are talking about the police scene, which was awful for Sam and your concern is that some people said that Bucky was awful? Maybe ask yourself why and we can discuss this... 
I hope you don't get defensive reading this and sit on it a little and think about it and then I'll be more than happy to have a conversation about it again (even on anon). You are not the only one to do this, it's just that you sent me this ask so I replied to it the best way I could.
If anybody wants to jump on this and share their thoughts... even if they don't agree with me... Please do it... Just stay polite and we'll make it work.
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overthinkinglotr · a year ago
So, what's your opinion of movie!Faramir? i understand the filmmakers had their reasons for changing his scenes with Frodo and Sam, but I love book!Faramir so much that I really disliked what they did there. I'd love to hear your thoughts, I love your analysis of the movie!version of other characters. This blog is amazing ❤️
Ahh thank you!
I think I’ve talked about this before but I have a lot feelings on it so I’ll talk about again-- the TL;DR is that I like the idea behind film!Faramir’s character, I just have a lot of issues with the way it was executed.
The character they were *going for* in the films is:
Film!Faramir is gentle and kind, like he was in the books. But unlike his book-counterpart, he idolizes/looks up to Boromir too much-- especially because Boromir has died so recently, and you tend to idealize loved ones after they die.
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His character arc in the films is *supposed* to be about learning he needs to trust his own sense of right and wrong instead of trying to do what he thinks his brother would’ve done.
He begins to realize this when Sam tells him that his brother is dead because he tried to murder Frodo---  forcing film!Faramir to confront that his brother wasn’t the idealized hero he wants to believe he was.
Film!Faramir gradually goes from trying too hard to be a Tough Warrior like Boromir(tm) in the Two using his gentleness and kindness to reassure Eowyn in Return of the King, finally recognizing that his good heart was his real strength all along.
And again, I love the idea of that character arc! It’s not like the books, but it’s compelling in its own way!
I also think the “Faramir takes the hobbits to Osgiliath” plotline was necessary for the sake of pacing/giving Frodo/Sam’s plotline a climax, and to actually SHOW the Ring’s corrupting power in action. It also ties into one of the main themes in the film!Two Towers that wasn’t in the books-- the theme of people struggling to avoid confronting their grief directly.
It seems like the screenwriters thought the only way Faramir taking the hobbits to Osgiliath could have tension was if........Faramir was pointlessly violent and even cruel. He’s pointlessly violent to Gollum, and pointlessly cold and cruel to Frodo and Sam. reason.....?
In the books, we are *told* that the Ring has an irresistible power to corrupt people, but are *shown* Faramir resisting it easily.
In the films, we have a different problem. We’re *told* that Faramir is kind and gentle compared to Boromir, but we’re *shown* Faramir being far more violent and cruel than Boromir ever was.
And it’s like... I really don’t think making Faramir so violent was necessary to add tension? Again-- there was tension when Boromir was falling to the Ring in FOTR, even though Boromir was always kind or at least sympathetic. You don’t NEED to make a character mean and cold for there be tension.
I’ve mentioned before that I think the “Film!Faramir takes the hobbits to Osgiliath” plotline would’ve worked really well if Faramir had just been kind and gentle towards the hobbits/Gollum. That’s literally all I think needed to be changed, lol.  If Faramir ruffled their hair and talked reassuringly to them, .but still insisted on taking them to Gondor anyway because It’s What Boromir Would Have would’ve let us have film!Faramir’s character arc about learning that he doesn’t need to be Boromir/a subplot that was necessary for the pacing of the movie, while actually letting us see film!Faramir as a kind gentle person.
For me it’s like--- I love it when adaptations change things, and re-interpret characters! The problem with film!Faramir isn’t that he’s different from book!’s that he’s written inconsistently.
We’re constantly told he’s gentler than Boromir while being shown the exact opposite, and it really weakens the storyline the film was going for.
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sammyhale · 3 years ago
Supernatural 13x21
Y’all... I had to take a few hours to fully process that episode. I was really angry at Cas at first and for a couple seconds upset at Dean, but I realized after reflecting that it was a simple line of dialogue that actually rubbed me the wrong way. When Cas tells Dean they have to leave Sam because they “don’t have time” my head almost exploded. It made zero sense. As far as they know Lucifer is keeping the rift open permanently; everyone at the camp was just chillin’ when they arrived. There was no “rush,” so the time excuse was way too cold for me.
Overall, I really enjoyed the episode. It was an intense, wild, and emotional ride and the performances, especially Jared (!!!!) and Jensen were fucking amazing. But I wish they had given Cas better dialogue in that scene. Something closer to confirmation that he saw Sam was dead, or that there was a shit ton of vampires and going after his body was a suicide mission, etc. But to just say, “he’s gone” and we “don’t have time” was a sloppy setup for Sam and Lucifer’s gutwrenching and horrifying scene later. I just wish that line had been swapped for another, or that Cas had said more than what he did so that it made sense why they (particularly Dean) would agree to go. 
To be fair, I saw how hurt and sad Cas initially was, and I’m grateful that Misha included that because I’m honestly not sure if it was written. And Dean was clearly in shock; he was empty, lost, and sad, and the only thing he says after Sam’s death is “we have to go back to get his body” after finding Mary. He was a wreck, and it was played beautifully. Just like how Jared nailed his scenes throughout and especially everything related to Lucifer and how he includes those details of Sam’s trauma is just exquisite. 
It was just the one damn “we don’t have time” line that made my blood boil. But that was a slip in writing more than anything. Castiel (for me) is on a timeout, though lol. I love how angry and upset Jack was and then how happy he was to see Sam alive. Some fans I guess were upset at his reaction but??? Sam is the first person after Jack was born to reach out to him, make him feel loved, welcome, and safe. Of course they have a bond and I LOVED seeing Jack’s reaction. 
Again, I loved most of the episode. Lots of strong material and the acting was on point, and it set up a lot for the final two episodes this season, particularly Dean’s inevitable impulsive choice that Sam’s death will no doubt fuel in the finale. With how despondent Dean was after watching his brother get his throat torn out and call for him and Dean not being able to help him? That will for sure impact Dean’s future decisions while they’re in the AU. 
Anyway, I’m done rambling. I’m not over Sam’s death scene, Dean’s tears, and how haunting that entire Sam and Lucifer scene was. Lucifer gave him an impossible choice; to allow himself to be a “gift” to Jack, or be killed brutally and violently AGAIN when he knows he could see his brother and mother and Jack again. The shame on his face after arriving in camp, his little smile disappearing when Lucifer shows up behind him. He doesn’t deserve to feel that way, and if anyone tries to guilt him over it next week I will scream :)))) 
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