#I need to cut my nails yikes
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Marco vs. the Forces of Love Episode 6: White Light
Summary: It’s a hoot and a holler when Marco and the girls take a short break on the beach. Meanwhile, Marco isolates himself more and more.
Star vs. the Forces of Evil belongs to:
© Daron Nefcy
© Disney Television Animation
[The episode starts with Marco and the girls at Star’s parents private bathroom wearing nothing but towels. Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo are talking to each other while Marco is sitting at the corner trying to catch his breath]
[to Janna and Hekapoo] Well guys, I’ll be the first to admit it: Although I had my doubts, this little experiment of yours turned out to be a complete success.
Couldn’t agree with more with Jackie. You guys totally nailed it this time, I’ll give you that.
Thanks, but... to tell you the truth: I’m just as surprised as you are right now. I mean, who would have thought that Marco could have THAT much libido?
Wait, now I’m confused: Weren’t you the one who said that Marco was capable to take care of FIVE clones at a time?
What? No, no, no, you got me completely wrong. When I said he could “take care of” I meant it as “in combat” not in this type of way...
[looking concerned] Oh… Uhm, are feeling okay Marco?
[Marco looks completely exhausted as he tries to raise his head to respond]
[gasping] Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just… I’m just a bit tired, that’s all...
Dude, you look far from okay. Do you need some help to…?
[standing up] No, no, it’s fine… You don’t have to worry about this… ouch...
Yikes, looks like we REALLY pushed you over the edge this time…. We’re sorry Marco, it wasn’t our intention.
Yeah, we just wanted to have some fun too...
If there’s anything we can do for you, don’t be afraid to tell us.
[dressing up] Girls, please… There’s no need to apologize. I’m fine. I just... I need a break from all the action. In fact: I’m feeling thirsty, do you know where I can get something to drink?
Well, you can go to my personal snack room and take whatever you want. It’s right down crossing this hallway, second door of the left. There’s a statue of my father next to it, so you can’t get lost.
[Marco opens the door and leaves the room while limping and complaining. The girls just look at him with a concerned look]
Alright, girls: I think we need to tone down this whole deal for a while… We need to give Marco some time to adapt. It must be hard for him to have so many girls to choose… Let’s take it easy.
I was about to say that.
I agree with Jackie. Marco is full of energy, so there’s no need to dry him up so quickly.
Mmmmm… you have a good point... but you gotta admit: It was pretty awesome...
Sure it was. [she and Hekapoo high five each other]
Best three hours of my life...
Yeah, all that goes without saying… but seriously: We have to show Marco that he can trust us, to make him feel comfortable.
What do you have in mind?
I don’t know... a little vacation would be nice.
[They think about it for a moment until Star comes up with an idea]
[snapping her fingers] I got it.
[Cut to Marco walking down the hallway with his hands in his pockets]
[thinking to himself] Ugh, I take it anymore, it’s like if a steamroller just ran over my pelvis, but as long as it makes them happy, then I guess I’ll have to take it as it comes. I just hope to gain enough strength to endure the fatigue, or else… I don’t even wanna think about it.
[He finds the place he was looking for, but also finds Lady Whosits standing guard at the entrance while holding a spear]
Uhm, excuse me ma’am? Is this Star’s snack room or...?
[Lady Whosits puts the spear at Marco’s throat as soon as she sees him. Marco just shivers and take a few steps back]
Identify yourself stranger!!!
[sweating] M-m-my name is M-Marco Diaz. I’m a friend of p-p-princess Star Butterfly, here… let me show you...
[He takes out his wallet and shows her a picture of him and Star. She immediately takes the spear out of his throat]
[smiling] Why didn’t you say so? come on in… feel like home.
Uhm, thanks… [whispering] I guess.
[Marco opens the door and gets inside a giant room full of refrigerators with labels. He gets amazed of how big the room is]
[thinking to himself] Wow, take a look at this place. I think there’s enough food to practically end world hunger. Okay Marco, stay focused. One of these fridges must have what I’m looking for… okay let’s see: cupcakes, fried snacks, frozen yogurt… A-ha, I found it.
[Marco stands in front of a giant refrigerator that says: Refreshments]
[thinking to himself] Hmmm… I wonder what kind of refreshments people drink here on Mewni. Perhaps they drink soda, or O.J, or purple stuff, or… [he opens it and finds endless files of corn beer] Well, this is interesting...
[Marco takes one beer and contemplates to open it]
[thinking to himself] I know I shouldn’t, but… I’m so thirsty and there’s nothing here but beer… Maybe if I take a small sip...
[Marco turns around and sees Pony Head right behind him which makes him fall on the floor]
Princess Pony Head:
‘Sup Earth Turd?
Pony Head? What are you doing here?
Funny, I was about to ask you the same question...
Star sent me here. She said I could have something to drink.
Right, and I was born yesterday...
Listen, I don’t want troubles with you right now, okay? I’ve been very busy lately and dealing with you it’s the last thing I want to do, so… Can you just leave me alone?
Yeah, sure… It must be so hard for you to play with Star’s feelings, right?
Uhm, I don’t think that concerns you, so... scram!
If my bestie is involved, of course it concerns me...
Oh come on, you don’t even know what’s really going on. In fact, I think you’re doing this simply because you’re jealous.
Me? Jealous of an Earth Turd like you? Ah-ah, no way...
Yeah, keep saying that. It won’t change the fact that Star likes me better than you...
Give me a break, I’m like… her best friend in the whole world...YOU on the other hand, are nothing but a piece of meat to her.
Oh, you really think so? [he opens the beer can and starts drinking]
Why else would she take you to her parent’s private bathroom?
[Marco spits out as soon as hears this]
Did… did you see it?
Well duh, of course I do. Also I saw the other girls too...
Okay Pony Head: What do I have to do to buy your silence?
Are you crazy? I’m not gonna tell anyone about your little adventure...
Wait, are you serious?
Yeah, but don’t you even think that I’m doing this for you Turd. I’m doing it for Star. If her parents find out about this, she would be like… in huge, HUGE problems, and I don’t want to be responsible for that, you got me?
Yeah, I do… But thanks anyway. It’s very nice of you.
You welcome… [she prepares to leave but then she turns back] Oh, by the way...
What is it now?
Well, I was wondering if… maybe one of these days… you and I could… you know… go to see a movie or maybe...
Wait a minute: Are you… flirting on me?
What? No, no. no, of course not… you wish...
Oh, thank God... because the last thing I need right now it’s a sassy floating head trying to get into my pants… no offense...
None taken... and come on, how would it even work stupid? I don’t have a body.
Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s kinda stupid when you think about it.
I mean, the only thing I would be capable to do is suck your dick, but YUCK! Why would I wanna do that?
[Pony Head and Marco laugh for a while]
Unless you want me to...
God, I hate you so much.
[Cut to Star and and the Girls already dressed coming out of the bathroom]
So, let me get this straight: You know a place where we can spend the whole week and it’s completely isolated so we can get all the privacy we want, right?
Not just the whole week, we can spend all the time we want because it’s one of those dimensions where time works different. Just like Hekapoo’s dimension...
And you also said it’s was a beach. Is it like a magic beach or…?
Don’t worry about that. It’s like any regular beach on your dimension. I think you would love it Jackie because there’s a lot of waves you can ride on your surfboard.
In that case, count me in for the trip.
The only thing we need is someone with the power to open dimensional portals. [she looks at Hekapoo] I wonder where we can find her?
Yeah, I don’t know. I have work to do on the commision and stuff and...
Oh, come on... You can ask Rhombulus to take care of it, right?
Ah-ah, no way, I don’t trust that guy at all. He’s a complete mess and could ruin my perfect record...
Well, in that case ask Omnitraxus, I don’t know. We need you for this...
Yeah, we would like you to join us for this trip. Sure work is important, but so it’s relaxation. After all, you deserve to take a time off once in a while...
Besides, you have the chance to see Marco wearing a swimsuit. [winks at her]
Mmmm, sounds tempting… let me think about it. [she thinks about it for a few seconds] Alright, I’ll take you there…
Great... now the only thing we need to do it’s to tell Marco the good news. I’ll go find him, you wait right here... [she dances and sings while walking away] Lalalalala...
[Cut to Marco at the snack room trying to drink another beer]
Ugh, it tastes so bitter. I don’t know how so many people can enjoy it… oh, well... [takes another sip]
[Star appears right behind Marco]
[Marco gets scared and spills all the beer over his hoodie]
[sigh] Why did you do that? Now my hoodie smells like a dive bar on saturday night.
I’m sorry Marco. It wasn’t my intention, but guess what? the girls and I have a little surprise for you...
[raising an eyebrow] What kind of surprise?
I’ll tell you when we get there, so come on… follow me.
Wait just a moment. There’s something very important I need to talk with you.
What is it? Are you... going to confess to me? [she blushes while staring at the floor]
[blushing] What? No, no… it’s… it’s not about that.
Oh, I see… he-he… silly me...
I’m talking about your drinking problem?
My drinking problem? I don’t have a drinking problem.
Don’t deny it Star... having a giant refrigerator full of beer it’s NOT normal behaviour. You’re gonna ruin your life if you keep drinking this much...
What? Oh, you mean this… [laughs]
What’s so funny?
Oh, Marco… sometimes I forgot how naive you are...
Wait, why do think I’m naive?
Us mewmans cannot get drunk with alcoholic drinks. Our metabolism allow us to resist it’s effects. For us it’s like drinking soda.
Really? I didn’t know that.
We can get high on sugar though.
I’ll keep that in mind...
You can keep it later, come on I want to show you the surprise...
[Star grabs Marco’s hand to take him with the girls]
Wait, I’m still thirsty...
I’ll buy you a soda later...
[As they leave the room, Pony Head watches them from behind a fridge with a hostile look. Cut to Marco and the girls talking at the hallways]
A trip to the beach?
Yeah, isn’t it great? We can do a lot of things...
[winking at Marco] A LOT of things, he-he-he...
It sounds great and all, but... all the beaches are closed this time of year...
But we’re not talking about a place on Earth. It’s an isolated beach on another dimension. I think you would like it.
I’m not saying that I’m against the idea, but we need to get organized first: I need to make a list with all the food, all the equipment...
Oh please, don’t start with all that safety kid mumbo jumbo. We’re gonna be fine...
Yeah, don’t worry about that. We’ll take care of all that. Promise.
Are you sure about that? because if you need some help to...
Marco, look at me: We’re fine. We can handle this, so you can just relax and enjoy the fact that a group of beautiful girls are inviting you to a trip to the beach. Stop being such a downer.
[taking a deep breath] You have a point. I need to stop overthinking.
[grabbing Marco’s arm] Not to mention that I just bought a new swimsuit that I would like you to see…
[grabbing Marco’s arm too] You know what? I’ll get a new swimsuit too, and I can model it for you later if you like... [winks at him]
You see Marco? You can trust us. I mean, think of all the fun we’ll have surfing, building sand castles, playing volleyball...
And it’s all for free. So what do you say?
[Marco thinks about for a moment]
Alright girls, you convinced me. Let’s have fun at the beach.
I’ll get some surfboards.
I’ll get the sunscreen and sunglasses too.
I’ll get the equipment to camp.
And I’ll get the snacks.
Now the only thing we need is a list to get us organized...
[The girls look at him with a brooding expression]
[Cut to Marco and the girls arriving at the beach through a dimensional portal]
Well, I have to give you credit Star: This place looks amazing. I mean, take a look at this…
[The camera makes a panoramic view of the beach]
I know right? It’s just as beautiful as I remembered...
And the best part? We’re ALL alone, so we can have this place for ourselves as long as we want...
So, what do you think Marco? Marco?
[Marco is too busy carrying all the luggage to pay her attention]
Ah, the sun is warm, the sand feels smooth and the sea breeze is so refreshing. Maybe this was a good idea after all...
You see? This is exactly what you needed, and if you want I can teach you how to surf.
That sounds like a lot of fun. Count me in.
[After carrying all the luggage, Marco sits on the sand and lies down spreading his arms and legs]
Are you okay Marco?
[gasping] Yeah, I’m okay
Maybe we should gave you hand with the luggage.
No, I said I would take care of it and I did it, so it’s fine.
[rolling her eyes] Whatever you say...
[The girls take off their clothes to reveal their swimsuits. Star and Jackie wear regular bikinis, Janna wears a skirted bottom bikini and Hekapoo wears a black slingshot swimsuit that accentuates her figure]
[to Hekapoo] You know, I kinda like your swimsuit.
Thanks. I bought it a long time ago, but I’ve never had the chance to use it.
I’m sure Marco must be enjoying the look, am I right Marco?
[She notices that Marco is sleeping on the sand]
[to Jackie] Do you think this bikini makes me look too thin? because at first I was thinking to wear a one piece swimsuit, but then I thought: “this makes me look fat” so I’m not really sure if it was the best decision. What do you say?
I think you would look great regardless of the choice. Trust me, you look amazing.
Yeah, easy for you to say. You have a fantastic body and your bikini matches your hairstyle. What is your secret?
I don’t really think about it that much, I just wear whatever I like depending on the occasion. You need to learn to be more confident.
But I am confident. I just don’t know exactly what I want.
Just be yourself Star. Then you’ll see the results speak for themselves. [gives Star a pat on the back]
[to Star and Jackie] Hey lovebirds: You wanna join us on a Volleyball match?
Great idea, maybe we could ask Marco if he wanna play too.
[Meanwhile, Marco is still sleeping on the sand]
I wouldn’t count on it.
[Cut to Star and Jackie playing volleyball match against Janna and Hekapoo. Jackie serves first and Hekapoo returns]
I got it. It’s mine...
Star, be careful. You’re about to...
[Star runs backwards to receive the ball, but falls on the sand and loses the match. Jackie holds her hand and helps her up]
Alright… [she and Hekapoo high five each other]
Are you okay?
Yeah, I’m fine.
You need to pay more attention, otherwise you’re gonna keep falling.
I’ll keep that in mind.
[They start another match. Janna serves, Jackie receives and passes the ball to Star]
It’s all yours Star, you can do it.
[thinking to herself] Come on Star, you just need to focus...
[Star hits the ball too hard and falls outside the boundaries]
Aw, man. We lost again.
Don’t give up, you’re getting better every time.
You really think so?
Of course I do. Just try to not hit the ball too hard next time.
Okay. I’m ready.
[They play the third match in a row. Hekapoo serves, Star receives and passes the Ball to Jackie which manages]
We did it. We score a point.
I knew you could do ti. High five. [they double high five each other]
Don’t sing victory so soon girls, this game isn’t over...
Yeah, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.
But... you’re not wearing a shirt.
Anyway… let’s continue, shall we?
[They play a few matches on which Star gets significantly better as she manages to score a couple of times, but also gets hit on the face and bumps into Jackie at one point. They keep playing until the sunset]
[gasping] Okay, I think that’s enough for today.
Yeah, I agree. I haven’t played a match so intense since I was in junior high.
You know? I didn’t realize how much I needed this. It’s been long time since my last vacation. Thank you for inviting me.
[Meanwhile, Marco wakes up and sees the girls resting on the sand]
Hey girls, what did I miss?
Oh Marco, it was awesome: We were playing volleyball and… at first I didn’t score any points and I was very clumsy, but just when we were about to lose the game… again, I hit the ball SO high that you wouldn't believe it... and the next thing I know is that it fell on the other side and we won the match. It was so cool… [whispering] so cool.
Wow, it looks like you had a lot of fun while I was sleeping.
Indeed. Star is a tough player I tell ya.
I know I’ve said it before but… I’m so proud of you Star. Congratulations.
[Marco hugs Star and she blushes in response and hugs him back. Jackie winks at Star as they hug]
Does anybody else want a drink? I’m thirsty.
Yeah, me too. I wouldn’t mind a soda to celebrate our victory.
“Your” victory? Yeah, right...
I’ll get the cooler.
But it’s true. We won the game.
How? You can’t really tell. We didn’t even use a scoreboard
Well, how about a rematch? This time we’ll have Marco to be our referee
Fair enough. [shakes hands with Star] We’ll settle this argument once and for all...
Girls, come on… save your energy for tomorrow’s game.
[bringing the cooler] Jackie’s right. Now it’s time to relax and enjoy a cold, sweet, refreshing...
[Marco opens the cooler and reveals that is full of beer]
Hey, what’s going on here? Why is the cooler full of beer?
I don’t know. Star was the one in charge of the snacks and the refreshments.
Star, what happened?
Well, you see: I was packing all the food and snacks and… it turns out it might took me longer that I expected, so...
I asked Pony Head to get the refreshments for me. I’m sorry.
Now, that’s just great. Now we have enough beer to serve at a frat party in California...
Oh, come on Marco. It’s not so bad.
What? Are you a drinker?
Well, not exactly, but...
Oh girls, It’s all my fault. I should have been more responsible.
Well, you can still go to the store and buy some soda.
I will. I just need to get the cooler...
I’ll take care of it, hold on...
[Marco puts all the beer on a bag to empty the cooler and give it back to Star]
There you go...
Okay, now I just need to open a portal to the store...
I’m on my way.
[Hekapoo opens a portal to the store]
There you have it. Now hurry up, I can’t contain it for too long.
Hold on. [grabs Star’s shoulder] I’m going with you.
That’s really kind of you and all, but...
Who’s talking about kindness? I wanna be sure you’ll choose the right drinks this time.
[rolling her eyes] Whatever...
[The girls dress up as it’s getting dark. Star and Janna enter the portal carrying the cooler]
[picking up the bag with beer] I’ll be back in a moment...
And where do you think you’re going?
Uhm, I’m gonna throw away all this beer. Duh.
But where? There are no dumpsters in this place...
I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just dig a hole and bury it.
[Marco walks away taking the bag with him. Meanwhile, Jackie carries some sticks she found to prepare a bonfire]
So… It’s been quite a day, isn’t it?
Tell me about it. Looks like you were having fun playing along with Star...
What can I say? I love team sports.
That’s not what I meant and you know it. Don’t try to fool me...
[lighting the fire] But it’s true. I like to get along with Star. She’s such a team player and a good friend. Is it really hard to believe that?
Okay, If you say so...
And what about you? Do you get along with Star too?
I wouldn’t go as far to say we’re friends since I work for her family, but… yeah, I guess you can say we get along...
I’m glad to hear that, because... the more I think about it, if it weren’t for you, neither Marco, Janna nor I wouldn’t met Star in the first place. After all, you’re the one who created those dimensional scissors, right?
Mmmm… I never thought of it that way before. For me, create dimensional scissors has always been only a job. But I’m glad that it makes you happy.
Yeah, Star is very special. She may not be as bright as she think it is, but she has a big heart and really cares about Marco.
Well, Marco is very special too you know...
Indeed, he’s a real gentleman: kind, good natured, dependable...
Not to mention a wonderful lover...
And always willing to turn the other cheek. To be honest with you: I’m kind of jealous of Star and Marco’s relationship...
Get out of here...
I’m serious. In fact: The reason I started this open relationship is because I know that deep inside Marco loves Star more than he loves me and I want them to be happy together, even though I still love him...
Wait, are you telling me that you’re willing to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of Star and Marco’s relationship?
It’s the least I can do. After all, and as much I hate to admit it, I would never stand a chance against Star when it comes to Marco’s true feelings.
But you can’t give up just like that. You have the right to pursuing your own happiness too...
I know that, but… I’m not really sure anymore. That’s why I prefer to live the moment and let Marco decide for himself. But the important thing is: Regardless of his decision, I don’t wanna hold any grudges against anyone.
I can’t say I agree with you, but I respect your point of view.
Thanks Hekapoo. I’m glad to know I can trust you too...
[They smile at each other as the sun goes down]
[thinking to herself] So Star thinks she owns Marco’s heart, huh? We’ll just see about that...
[In that moment, Star and Janna return carrying the cooler. Hekapoo finally closes the portal]
We’re finally here. Sorry if it took us so long, Star and I had a little argument with the cashier, but it’s okay. Now we had enough soda to spent the entire week.
And it's all sugar-free...
[Janna opens the cooler showing the soda to Jackie and Hekapoo]
By the way: Where’s Marco?
He went somewhere else to throw away all the beer.
All by himself?
Well, you know how Marco is: He likes to do things his own way.
Yeah, he can be a little bit proud at times… Oh, there he is.
[Marco returns with his head down and his hands in his pockets]
What happened to you? Looks like you haven’t slept in days...
If you carry more than 32 cans of beer all by yourself, you would be tired too. That reminds me: We forgot to put up the tents... and it’s already dark...
Marco, what did I told you? We can handle this. You sit down and drink something. Here, take this… [she gives Marco a soda]
Don’t you start with me.
[Star, Jackie and Janna are pitching the tents, but Janna notices something]
Hey Hekapoo: How many tents did you pack?
I packed two big tents. One for Marco and one for us...
Well, there’s only one tent here...
What? But how can it be? I clearly remembered packing two.
[They look for the tent everywhere, but is still missing]
The bag I used to carry all the beer cans, that was the other tent. [sigh] Don’t worry, I’ll get it back...
Wait, you don’t have to do that. We can all sleep together in the same tent.
Janna, don’t be ridiculous. I can’t sleep in the same tent with all of you...
I don’t mind...
Neither do I...
I’m okay with it...
I’m okay if she’s okay...
Well, in that case: I guess I’ll have to do it.
You know, if I didn’t know you better, I might think this was your plan all along...
[sigh] Janna, get outta town.
[Cut to next day. Jackie teaches Marco how to surf, Star and Janna build a sand castle and Hekapoo takes a sunbath while reading a magazine]
[riding the surfboard] Hey Jackie, look: I’m doing it.
That’s great Marco, just don’t forget to bend your knees and keep your feet centered at the board.
What did you just said? I couldn’t hear you for the wave.
I said: Don’t forget to bend your...
[Marco loses the balance and falls off the surfboard]
Aw man, this is third time I fall off. I’m starting to think this is hopeless...
Don’t lose your faith Marco. You’re doing great, you just need to pay more attention, otherwise you’re gonna keep falling...
Yeah, but I’m nowhere near as good as you Jackie.
Hey, this isn’t a competition. Come on, let’s try it again.
[Jackie extends her hand to Marco. He smiles while grabbing it]
You’re right Jackie. I can’t give up just like that.
Now, that’s the Marco I know and love.
[Cut to Star and Janna still building their sand castle]
Oh, yeah… this is gonna be the best castle ever made.
And as soon as I finish this tower it will be ready for a picture.
Hey Hekapoo, are you sure you don’t wanna help us?
[taking a sunbath] No thanks, I’m fine. Besides, you’re building your castle WAY too close to the shore. The waves will tear it down.
Oh, please, as if you know how to build sand castles.
I’m done with this tower.
Great, now go and get the camera...
You better hurry because the tide’s coming in...
That makes no sense. Look how peaceful the shore is right now… There’s no way that something like a giant wave can destroy our...
[In that moment, the tide rises and completely destroys the castle before Janna could take a picture]
[holding a camera] Oh, dang it...
[Janna uses the camera to take pictures of Hekapoo]
Hey, eyes are up here buddy...
I know. I was just wondering how are you so pale considering you’re taking a sunbath. What kind of sunblock you use?
I’m a magical entity who is immune to any kind of heat. I don’t take sunbathes to dark my skin, I take them because I like it...
I get it, but nonetheless it’s fun to take you photos. And who knows? maybe I’ll use them to persuade Marco or something...
Oh yeah? Then why don’t you take pictures of yourself if that’s the case?
I could do it, but… where’s the fun in that?
You can take pictures of me if you want...
Sure, the more the merrier... [she takes pictures of Star]
[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo preparing themselves for another volleyball match. This time Marco takes the role of referee]
Alright girls. You know the rules: We’ll be playing with a three out of five system. The team with most points will be the winner.
Works for me...
I agree with Jackie.
Now, let’s get it on...
-The girls play volleyball. At one point, the ball accidentally takes off Hekapoo’s swimsuit resulting in Marco having a nosebleed.
-Later on, they’re all playing in the water and Janna steals Marco’s swimsuit. He tries to take it back while the other girls just laugh.
Then cut to a scene where Marco is putting sunblock to Star while Janna just look at him with a mischievous look as he blushes.
Finally, cut to a scene where Marco and Jackie are watching the sunset together while the other girls are just chasing each other.
[Cut to Star, Jackie, Janna and Hekapoo sitting next to the bonfire eating marshmallows]
...and then she said: “that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen”, but then the next thing you know is that the mother was next to her and then: POW! she gave her right in the nose… Can you believe that? I’m telling you, there are very rude people in this world.
Well, if you ask me, Pony Head should have been more polite. You can’t call a baby ugly just like that
I agree with that.
Yeah, me too...
Oh, come on girls. I know that Pony Head can be a teeny bit rude at times, but you got to admit that woman completely overreacted. I mean, you should have have seen that baby to understand.
I know what you mean, but also you have to put on that woman’s situation. No one likes to have their baby called ugly, especially by a total stranger.
You have a good point. Marco, what do you think?
[Marco is too busy contemplating the moon to pay attention to her]
Uhm, yeah sure… whatever you say Star.
[to Star] You know, Marco’s been acting weird lately.
What do you think is the reason for that?
It looks like he’s waiting for something to happen.
Perhaps he wants to go into action.
Really? But today we’ve done it a bunch of times already.
For some boys it’s never enough.
[thinking to herself] Oh Marco, if only you would let me know what’s inside your mind. It only makes me want you even more...
Are you worried about Marco?
Maybe we should let them rest for today. I’m sure by tomorrow he will be good as new.
[Cut to Marco and the girls sleeping together inside the tent. Marco opens his left eye and makes sure that everyone is still sleeping, then he gets up and leaves the tent without being noticed]
[thinking to himself] It seems like they’re still sleeping, but I don’t know for how long so I better hurry...
[Cut to Marco entering a cave a mile away from the camp. Inside the cave Marco puts his hands in a pond and pulls out the bag of beer]
Finally… come to papa he he he...
[He opens several cans of beer and drinks all of them almost uncontrollably]
[thinking to himself] I know this wrong but… I can’t help myself. It tastes so good...
[After a while, he stops and puts the bag of beer back into the pond]
[thinking to himself] Okay, that’s enough for today. After all, I have to save some for tomorrow. [he starts wobbling as he walks and falls to the ground] It’s gonna be a long way back, isn’t it?.
[Cut to next day. Star and Janna are building another sand castle while Jackie and Hekapoo are taking sunbath and resting. Marco is sitting next to them wearing sunglasses to hide his hangover]
Okay, so we give the finishing touches to this tower over here and… voilà… there you have it: The Butterfly’s royal castle...
Uhm, Are you sure that your castle looks exactly like this?
Of course I am. What kind of question is that?
I just noticed that there’s something eerily familiar about your castle...
Whatcha talkin’ bout Janna Banana?
Well, first of all: It looks suspiciously similar to Edinburgh’s castle. [the camera zooms out and reveals that is an exact replica of Edinburgh’s castle]
Wow, isn’t that a wacky coincidence? Am I right?
[Star gives Janna a pat on the back, but she just look at her raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms in response]
[sigh] Okay, you got me, This is not how the Butterfly’s castle actually looks like. I’m not very good remembering things so I copied something I saw on TV, okay?
Hey, don’t be so mad. It’s not a big deal...
You really think so?
Of course I do. Besides, who am I to judge anyway? I’ve never been really that good at arts and crafts.
Well, if you say so...
Perhaps we should ask Marco if wanna helps us to build a pit or something. He’s always been good at these kind of tasks...
Great idea... [to Marco] Hey Marco, you wanna help us build a pit for our castle?
[Marco suddenly wakes up as he hears Star calling his name]
What? Uhm… yeah, sure… I’ll be there in a moment, just let me...
[He stands up and walks towards Star and Janna in a very clumsy way]
Are you okay Marco?
I’m fine. I’m just a bit tired, that’s all… All I need to do is...
[Marco trips and falls over the castle]
Star, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened...
Oh, boy… you really messed up this time Marco.
Relax, I’ll build you another one.
I’m afraid that won’t be enough this time...
What do you mean?
[Cut to Marco with his whole body buried in the sand while the girls look at him from above]
Oh, come on Star. There’s got to be a better way than this...
I’m sorry Marco, but there’s a lesson that needs to be learned from this...
What lesson? I’ve already said that I’m sorry.Don’t you think you’re exaggerating?
Probably, but look at the bright side: You’ll have a great view of our new castle as soon as we finish it.
GET OUTTA TOWN...
Am I really THAT predictable?
[sigh] Should have seen it coming...
[Cut to midnight. Janna is telling a horror story at the campfire. Star is completely horrified and grabs Marco’s arm while he looks unimpressed by it. Jackie and Hekapoo are eating marshmallows]
...that was when Evelyn got lost in the woods. Her cell phone was dead so she couldn’t make any call for help, so she kept walking through the dense forest in the middle of the night with nothing but a small flashlight. And it was quiet, so quiet that the only sounds she could hear at that particular moment were the sound of nature AND the beat of her own heart. Then, suddenly she heard some steps coming right behind her back... her blood got cold as she started running through the darkness without looking back… and then BAM! she stumbles upon a tree and fall into a pit. A few minutes later she woke up with her left leg broken, so she turn on the flashlight and saw the one-eyed killer all covered in blood, wearing the skin of her boyfriend. And then… [uses a flashlight] BLAM!!!
[Star screams at the top of her lungs while holding Marco’s arm]
Star please, you’re screaming next to my ear...
Jeez Star, calm down. It’s just a story. None of that actually happened… [puts a flashlight on her face] Or is it?
[Star screams again next to Marco’s ear]
Janna, would you please cut it out?!
Okay, I’ll stop. I had enough fun for today...
It was a good story, but there are some things just didn’t make much sense.
Yeah, like that part where Evelyn’s boyfriend was checking the cabin and saw the head of old man Philips on the table. Why he didn’t run instead of going upstairs?
I think the whole thing was a complete mess. The characters are idiots and the story makes no sense whatsoever.
Or maybe you just didn’t get it.
What do you mean? I got the idea. I just didn’t think it was very good.
Marco, horror stories aren’t meant to be “good”. The point is to scare people, and I just scared Star so I consider this campfire story is complete success.
Whatever… [he stands up and walks away]
Where are you going?
I’m going to… uhm… look for more firewood...
But... we’re on the beach.
You’re right… I… I need to go to the bathroom.
[He walks away leaving the girls alone at the campfire]
That was a great story Janna, although it was scary. I don’t think I will be able to sleep tonight...
And who said anything about sleep? [winks at her]
Oh, now I get it… he he he...
Now, don’t forget to tell Marco that you want to sleep on his sleeping bag because you’re so afraid...
You girls are crazy...
Hate the game not the players... High five. [she and Star high five each other]
[Cut to Marco back at the cave checking the bag of beer]
Oh, come on man... You gotta be kidding me… [he realizes that there’s no more beer left] Aw, goddamnit...
[Cut back to Star and the girls]
Why is it taking Marco so long to get back?
Beats me. Maybe he’s feeling sick or something.
Do you think we should go to check if he’s alright?
Nah, he’s probably fine and he’s just teasing us...
[Cut back to Marco walking on the beach very drunk while he returns with Star and the girls]
[thinking to himself] Man, what I’d give for a drink right now… wait...
[He sees a group of dolphins swimming at the sea, but mistake them for bottles of alcohol due his drunken state]
Oh, yeah: Come to papa… [he walks into the sea]
[Cut back to Star and the girls. Jackie notices that Marco is walking towards the sea]
What is Marco doing?
[The girls turn around and see Marco drowning while trying to reach the dolphins]
[They quickly stand up and run to the shore to see where he is]
We gotta take him out before he goes underwater… Hekapoo, can you open a portal to reach him?
I can’t open a portal underwater, especially now that my powers are low.
Wait, I got it: I’ll use my wand to levitate him back to the shore.
Now, where do I left my wand? [she checks her backpack, but can’t find it] Hold on, there’s gotta be somewhere… Oh, come on...
[Marco finally drowns. Star keeps checking her backpack while Jackie quickly jumps into the water to rescue him. She goes underwater and find Marco unconscious, so she grabs his arm and swim back to the shore]
Is he okay?
I’ll check him out.
[Hekapoo lends her ear over Marco’s chest and checks his pulse to see if he’s okay]
At least he’s still breathing, but we need to give him mouth to mouth quickly...
Let me take care of it.
[Star gives Marco mouth to mouth and notices something strange]
There’s something odd about Marco’s breath… like he’s been drinking booze or something...
[Janna notices a can of beer on the shore and picks it up]
I think you might be right on this… look...
[Janna shows them the can of beer. In that moment Marco wakes up, vomits and falls unconscious again]
Just as a suspected. He’s totally drunk.
But how can it be? He said he got rid of all the beer.
Apparently he lied to us.
Oh my god, I think this was all my fault...
What do you mean?
I forgot to tell Marco that the alcohol from Mewni is ten times more addictive than the regular human alcohol from earth.
Wait, are you telling us that you saw him drinking mewman beer and forgot to warn him about that huge HUGE detail?!!!
[sigh] Yeah, I know. I messed up big time, there's no need for you to shove it on my face...
Well, one thing’s for sure: We have to go back home. The break is over.
[Cut to Marco’s house at night. Hekapoo opens a portal and everyone come out of it. Star and Jackie hold Marco’s arms while he is still sleeping]
Well, this was… entertaining.
Yeah, I have a lot of too… you know, before… this...
Sure we can do this again… some other time...
I can’t wait for it… yeah… he he he...
Are you sure you can take care of Marco right now?
Don’t worry, he’s in good hands… good night everybody.
Good night Star...
[Everyone return to their homes while Star carries Marco back to his room and gets him into bed]
I just want you to know that… If there’s anything, and I mean ANYTHING you need right now, just let me know. I’ll be next door in case you want something, okay?
[Marco just slur his words and makes incoherent sounds]
Okay… I think I’ll just leave you alone. Good night Marco... [whispering] I love you...
[Star closes the door and leaves Marco alone in his room. The camera zoom on Marco’s half-closed eyes for about 20 seconds before cut to black]
MARCO VS. THE FORCES OF LOVE - EPISODE 6: WHITE LIGHT
tuxedo, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader, mentions of previous jungkook x reader
summary: Your cat turns into a man. No, not, your cat was always a man and turned back into a man. Your actual cat turns into an actual man and neither you or your cat (man? cat-man?) have any idea why he's human now. Also, he's naked, so that’s a problem. Also, he’s kind of attractive. Yikes.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, mentions of the coronavirus pandemic; possibly full-on crack; Yoongi still thinks he’s a cat; mentions of smut (fem reader, m-receiving oral (choking on a dick, but not in a sexy way), doggy, spanking, wall-fucking, unintentional??? voyeurism); non-idol!AU - cat!Yoongi x human!reader; ft slightly cocky Jeon Jungkook and you being mad horny for him, what’s new; breaking of the fourth wall; are YOU a furry? you decide
an anon asked for cat hybrid Yoongi, although instead this is some voodoo witch doctor shit, whoops
yes, I do reference BT21, Bob Ross, the lady-pointing-to-the-cat-accusingly meme, list goes on... and there is a cameo of 2021 Seasons Greetings Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin XD
Your lungs were being crushed.
You were bundled in your duvet, wrapped like a mint-colored burrito, on your back, head nestled comfortably in your memory foam pillow. Warm, cozy, snuggly. All things considered, a comfortable position. So comfortable that you were blessedly asleep for many hours until your lungs started getting crushed.
You cracked one eye open.
A giant tuxedo fluffball was causing this slow and painful death.
You glared with slitted eyes, voice cracking from sleep. The fluffball did not move. Velvety, pointed black ears flicked back and forth. The little pink nostrils flared a bit, breathing evenly and contentedly. At least one of you was. You grunted in irritation. The minty-green eyes opened, black slits for pupils.
“I’m going to die.”
Your cat meowed in your face.
“Shut the fuck up. Get off.”
You narrowed your eyes and lips into lines. Stared at your insufferable, not-so-subtle tuxedo cat that was killing his owner. How long had he and his seven-kilogram ass been sitting on your tits? Too long because your sternum was already aching. You rolled over and he gave you a disgruntled meow as he tumbled off. You pulled your arms out and gave him a soft scratch behind his ears before reaching around to his white belly and patting his chest. He started purring, rolling to his side, white sock-like paws sticking up.
“Ugh, my chest hurts, Shooks. You’re a dick.”
Your cat gave zero fucks.
You were still petting him. Sigh.
“I’m getting up,” you announced to no one except your cat.
You tugged yourself out of your comfy, mint-colored duvet and winced, rubbing your breastbone. Did you buy this bedding set because it reminded you of your cat’s eye color? Yes. Were you a crazy cat lady? Maybe. In your defense, you hadn’t meant to become a crazy cat lady. You were innocently walking on the street when the tuxedo-patterned cat started following you. A large cat with big minty eyes surrounded by black fur like black bangs. White snout and jaw, pink nose, and a raspy meow. The tuxedo pattern was pretty similar to an actual suit, with a white chest and black fur over its back and limbs. White, sock-like paws, on the bigger side. Cute pink toe beans too. At the time, he was skinny and dirty, no collar around his neck, but you could tell he was long-limbed. He had a cut on his right eye, caked with blood.
“You alright, little guy?”
The cat seemed to scoff at you disapprovingly, as if to say, do I seem like a little guy to you?
“I guess you’re not a little guy. You have an owner?”
The cat’s response was headbutting your calf.
You took him back to your apartment and then it was doomed.
Why was his name Shooks? Well, actually, your cat’s name was Shooky, and it was because you tried many names to get him to respond to you – including, but not limited to, “you little shit” – and he responded to none of them except Shooky. For some reason, Shooky made him turn his black-and-white face around and look at you.
Shooky it was.
The first encounter was cute, but after you had fed him and given him a few pats, you gave him a good, hard taste of reality. Shooky was very upset about getting a bath for the first time. There had been a lot of angry meowing, although thankfully he hadn’t swiped at you very much. As soon as you got mostly undressed and sat in the bath with him, he seemed to relent. Maybe it was because you closed the glass door and he couldn’t leave.
“Do you see how dirty you are? You need a bath.”
He gave you a disapproving meow.
“Look, I even bought pet shampoo and you’ll get treats after. Come on, you.”
He was very displeased.
In any case, Shooky was now your primary companion, a large, long-limbed, fluffy tuxedo cat, following you around as you brushed your teeth and made breakfast, his new black collar jingling with a tiny silver bell. Every morning, you handed him his dry food first – he chomped down immediately – and made yourself some breakfast as he ate. Somehow your life now revolved around him, spending time looking up the best cat food (without paying an arm and a leg, you weren’t a sugar momma), making sure he was brushed (his hair got everywhere), telling everyone you needed to get home because you couldn’t miss his dinnertime (if you were a second late opening the door, Shooky would start meowing very exaggeratedly, like he was dying, what a drama queen). Was he annoying? Yes. Was he the best cuddle buddy? Also, yes. Kind of like a boyfriend, but better, because Shooky didn’t talk back.
You arranged your small dishes on the table. Tofu. Eggs. Pickled squash. Just enough for one. You sat down, holding your bowl of steamed rice.
A tuxedo furball jumped onto the table, licking his chops.
“Look here, this isn’t for you. Shoo.”
He settled onto the tabletop and stared at you as you ate.
Live with a cat was pretty similar to life without one.
Except for that weird habit Shooky had of sitting on your bathroom rug when you got out of the shower, scaring the shit out of you the first time. You lived alone, so you didn’t really bother closing doors, but you considered changing that. But it was just a cat. Also, he walked in here of his own volition. Not your fault if his eyes were scarred.
Shooky was a normal cat, but also a weird cat.
He slept a lot. Normal. He bit his paws sometimes. Weird. You figured maybe it was his nails, so you learned to trim them and he seemed better about it, but sometimes when he was stressed, you would notice fur missing from his little white socks. A lot of things could stress a cat. The internet taught you that. You brought him toys and played with him, but mostly he seemed to want you to sit down so he could plant himself in your lap. This make life rather difficult, so you decided it was time to invest in Netflix so you could at least use your time wisely.
This was for your cat, remember.
Yes, binging shows on Netflix was for your cat.
The weirdest thing was…
Shooky was always stressed when you invited a man into your home.
Maybe he didn’t like men. Something in his past, maybe? Could be. Come to think of it, did you even like men? That was a question for another day, but in any case, your cat always gave you this accusing stare when you brought a guy over, no matter how nice the guy was, even if the guy petted him very gently. Shooky never attacked them. He just glared at you like you had betrayed him somehow. How could that be?
What a needy drama queen.
You figured, eh, it didn’t really matter. He wasn’t trying to sabotage your chances of finding true love and all that stuff.
Who are we kidding?
You’d settle for a simple good dicking.
Well, there was that one time.
That time you were in the middle of giving a guy a blowjob. It was going great. You were naked, he was naked, he had a tattooed arm – hot as fuck – and he was very vocally enjoying your tongue technology. Hey, you didn’t have many talents, but you had that going for you. Even if a guy was mildly apprehensive about banging you, once you got your mouth on his dick, it was game over. You mentally patted yourself on the back for doing such a good job.
Positive reinforcement, right?
Your cat jumped onto your back and made you choke on his dick.
All seven kilos right between your shoulder blades. Oof.
“Are you okay?” He was half-worried, half-laughing, and Shooky was climbing up your back, pressing onto your neck, one paw on the nape, trying to murder you by dick suffocation. It took both of you to lift you off the dick – sad – and Shooky left a few scratches on your neck, as if to communicate his distaste of your infidelity. The guy was really nice about it. Actually, he found it hilarious. You scowled at Shooky and he gave you that deadpan stare that all cats seemed to have. The rest of the night was hot and heavy like you wanted and you even eventually got to complete said blowjob, which brightened your spirits.
It was a little disorienting that your cat was watching you from his cat tree the entire time.
Honestly, you would have kept dating that guy if he didn’t move to a different city. Sigh.
Eventually, you stopped bringing men over.
One, because Shooky. Two, because worldwide pandemic.
The night that changed everything was ordinary.
You were passed out on the couch, halfway into season six of American Horror Story, somewhat peeved because you wanted to watch the other seasons, but geez, season five had such a poor story and hard focus on gore that it slightly turned you off. That it was a lot, even for you. Season six was better, but slow. The first four seasons had really hooked you and the idea of them all being connected? Nutty. You wanted to watch all of it.
Idea of season five? Awesome.
Lady Gaga? Yeah, why not, you’d be seduced.
Execution? Eh… could be better.
Shooky hadn’t watched any of it. He just slept in your lap.
Subtitles really helped you out here. You didn’t understand how the English-speaking audience could hear the whispering parts, but maybe that was because your English was garbage. You could read better than listen.
At the moment, you weren’t reading shit.
You were half-tucked in a fuzzy black blanket with a tuxedo cat pattern. Did you see the tuxedo cat pattern and buy it immediately? Yes. Were you a crazy cat lady? Maybe. In any case, your head was cocked at an awkward angle on the couch cushion and your mouth was open, snoring away. Attractive. You were wearing mint-colored, striped pajamas, one arm hanging off the couch and the other on Shooky’s furry butt, because you had been petting him.
Netflix was doing that annoying thing where it was asking you if you were still watching or not.
You couldn’t respond.
Shooky was awake.
Your cat was staring at your laptop on your coffee table. It was open. An HDMI cable connected it to your television. Not a clean setup, but an effective one. Again, you lived alone. Who was going to judge you? Your tuxedo cat?
Your cat was awake.
He got off your lap and hopped to the coffee table, peering at your laptop. Then he did what any sensible cat would do.
He walked all over your keyboard.
Circling around and around, smashing all the buttons with his cute pink toe beans, looking for a comfortable spot before settling down and planting his fluffy body on top of it. Windows closed, tabs appeared, the volume got muted, your display settings got fucked, the usual.
The unusual part was that your cat was looking at the screen.
Your internet browser was open.
A video was playing on a mysterious website.
A handsome young man with a boxy smile was wearing a sienna floral dress shirt and sunglasses, oddly paired with flared violet pants. He was standing next to another young man with an angelic face who, for some reason, was wearing a pastel floral handkerchief around on his head and a white-and-navy tracksuit with black, red, and green stripes. They were standing in some weird set with a black tablecloth covered round table and a lavender crystal ball, crystal-like beaded curtains glinting in strangely colorful lighting.
There was no volume.
Your cat tilted his head at the screen, curious.
The man with the boxy smile was speaking excitedly, gesturing to the angelic-looking man who seemed to be in awe. A retro, old school graphic popped up, flowers surrounding a blocky orange and green serif font, mildly tacky but somehow endearing in its own way.
COULD WISHES REALLY BE GRANTED?
Your cat tilted his head the other way.
Your cat didn’t know Korean.
Well, you did mostly speak to him in Korean. Maybe he was secretly fluent. He definitely knew, don’t fucking do that, because you would witness him doing the very thing you told him not to do right after you said it. Bastard. But you couldn’t bear witness to this now. You were knocked out on the couch.
Boxy-smile guy placed his fingers elegantly on his forehead, mock dismay on his features, acting as if he couldn’t believe the viewer’s skepticism. Angel-looking guy placed his hands in prayer position, the text now reading, I won’t believe you unless you prove it! Boxy-smile guy flourished to the camera, showing off his brilliant pearly-white smile, mouthing words unheard. Text appeared once more.
Make a wish, any wish!
Your cat closed his eyes and appeared to be asleep.
The video turned black and disappeared into purple sparkles.
Your internet browser unexpectedly closed.
You woke up with a painful stitch in your neck and Shooky nowhere to be found.
You tried to get up, but underestimated the cramp in your back and fell onto the hardwood floor.
You blamed the pandemic for fucking up your sleep schedule. Also, getting old. Fuck getting old and being an adult. Time didn’t stop just because you didn’t go to work. Well, not true. You did go to work; your work was just different now. You were YouTube video editor, which meant you were mostly edited video game montages now instead of travel vlogs. The work was slower now. People were getting discouraged, taking breaks, because, you know.
Anyway, not the point. You were grateful that your work was mostly internet and computer-based. Not everyone was so lucky. You were also grateful that you didn’t work in an industry that was too negatively affected by the pandemic. It had started off as a hobby, but then the creators you were helping unexpectedly blew up, needing your help more and more. You fell into it by accident, but that’s how life was. Happy little accidents. You couldn’t complain. As long as you had some income to feed your cat and you, that was enough.
Speaking of cat.
He normally would meow or trot over to you when called. He was weirdly affectionate like that.
You were still on the floor, on hands and knees, crick in your neck and back aching. Ah yes, age was just a number until your back pain flared up due to repeated nights of unintentionally falling asleep on the couch. Lovely. You stretched out your back with a groan and yawned, cracking your neck.
That hurt. Ugh, you really needed to stop sleeping on the sofa. You untangled yourself from your blanket and headed to the bathroom, rubbing your neck. You still didn’t see your fluffy, seven-kilogram, kind-of-an-ass tuxedo cat, but whatever. He had to be in the apartment. He couldn’t exactly leave. He was a cat. What was he going to do, grow legs and opposable thumbs?
You shoved your toothpaste-covered toothbrush in your mouth and began brushing your teeth. You hummed, trying to remember if you had any deadlines. Eh, they were on your Google calendar. You would check it after washing up. You spat and brushed for a few more minutes, thinking about nothing. This was nice. Sometimes it was nice to think about nothing. No major problems to address, simply a chill and routine morning.
You reached over to the spit cup and put some lukewarm water in it before taking your toothbrush out and sipping some water to gargle the minty suds out.
You heard a deep, raspy voice call your name.
You looked in the mirror.
Your mouth was full of dirty toothpaste water, cheeks puffed out.
The voice called your name again, quietly.
Your eyes widened, staring into the mirror in shock.
A pale man was standing behind you, wearing your mint-colored duvet over his shoulders. Messy black hair to his rounded cheeks, dark brown cat-like eyes, small pink pout. His nose was a little red, as if he was cold. There was a black choker on his neck, with a silver bell. He was taller than you, and he looked very confused.
Pointed, velvety black ears on top of his head, white tufts of fur sticking out, flicking back and forth.
You spat all over your mirror in shock.
The man jerked back as you threw your head into the sink, hastily taking another cupful of water to rinse out your mouth because, WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON? Why was there a man in your apartment? With fucking cat ears? That moved? What kind of kinky shit was that? Were you dreaming? What the fuck?! You grabbed the hand towel from its hook and furiously wiped the dirty water off your mirror, completely convinced you were having sensory and auditory hallucinations. Did you drink last night? Accidentally buy groceries laced with LSD? Snorted three kilos of cocaine off a hooker? Who the fuck knows, but there was no fucking way that you let some fucking man in your home, because, one, pandemic and, two, Shooky–
The pale man with black hair was still there, standing in the doorway of your bathroom, looking slightly disgusted, but also scared.
He said your name again. A question, almost like a raspy meow.
You violently wiped your bathroom mirror some more, nearly cracking the glass.
The man was still there, wearing your mint-colored duvet.
Slowly, slowly, you turned around to face this man, your neck cracking loudly, sending searing pain up the back of your head and reminding you that, nope, this is not a dream, and if it was, it was a very shitty dream because at least in a dream you shouldn’t actually feel pain. You looked up at this man, at his fluffy black bangs shading his dark attentive eyes and pale face, chewing on his lip, clutching your duvet around his body like a giant mint cloak.
The cat ears on his head twitched.
You blinked at him, watching the ears.
“Do… I know you?”
He gave you an eerily recognizable deadpan stare. “I think you do.”
This wasn’t possible.
You’re drunk, high, or in purgatory.
(You did have sex before marriage.)
“S… Shooky?” you croaked.
The man took a deep breath and shook his head.
“Actually, my name is Min Yoongi.”
You blinked at him. “What? You have a name?”
He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
Relief washed over you. “What do you mean, you guess? That means you’re a human being! With a birth certificate! Thank God, I thought you were my fucking cat for some reason, haha, that’s so fucking ridiculous–!” For some reason, the idea of a random stranger being in your home was much more comfortable to you than you damn cat becoming a human being, because for a hot second, you thought… but no, no, that’s stupid. “Speaking of ridiculous, these ears are crazy dude, they look almost real–”
You reached up and yanked on one of the velvety ears.
“Ow, what the fuck!”
Oh my God.
“What the FUCK?” you bellowed and a large pale hand shot out of the duvet to clamp one of his cat ears down, shrinking away from you.
“Stop yelling, please, I have sensitive hearing,” Yoongi winced, ticking his head, as if he was trying to flatten the other ear too, but couldn’t. His other hand was holding tightly to the mint duvet.
You saw a glimpse of a pale chest.
Your eyes widened into the size of saucepans.
His hand darted back into the duvet and clamped it shut from your bulging eyes, frowning. He quickly bundled himself up and straightened, thinning his mouth into a line. A few seconds passed. You gawked at him, jaw slack. The pale man sighed heavily.
“My name is Min Yoongi. My parents gave me that name. I don’t think I have a human birth certificate because I’m not a human. I am a cat. You used to call me Shooky, but Min Yoongi is my name, so I would appreciate it if you called me by my given name.”
Your jaw went even more slack.
“Cats… have names?” you squeaked.
Yoongi made a face at you. “Of course, we do. We are not savages.”
“B… But…” You frowned, shoulders falling. “You seemed to like the name Shooky…”
Yoongi shrugged his duvet-covered shoulders. “It sounded better than all the other names you suggested.”
You puffed your cheeks, placing your hands on your hips. “What was wrong with Tata? Or Chimmy? Or Cooky?”
Yoongi gave you a disapproving glare. “Well, perhaps in a parallel universe the name Shooky is somehow important to me. In any case, it was the best suggestion.”
You narrowed your eyes, frowning. “You little shit.”
“I especially disliked that one. Seemed a bit discriminating to our size difference…” He paused, looking down at you. “At the time anyway.”
Your hands fell, looking up at your cat. Er. Min Yoongi. “So, uh… Yoongi…?”
He tilted his head, peering curiously at you under his black bangs. “Hm?”
You pointed at him, gesturing up and down. “Why are you, uh… a man?”
He looked down at the duvet covering his body. You stared at your bedding wrapped around him. Why was he wearing it anyway? In fact, all you could see was a black choker with a silver bell. The mental lightning bolt suddenly hit you. Oh. Your neck began to heat. Your ears began to heat. Your whole face began to heat. Oh. Oh? Oh! Shooky – er, Yoongi? – whatever, your cat didn’t wear clothes. He only wore a collar… which meant…
It felt like your whole body was on fire with abrupt realization.
Yoongi looked up at your mint-pajama-wrapped, now tomato self still pointing at him.
“I don’t know why I’m a man.”
One of his eyebrows raised. Then Yoongi smirked.
An open-mouthed, amused smirk.
“And yes, I’m naked. Your clothes don’t fit me. I tried.”
Your cat, er, man? Cat-man? What even... never mind, Min Yoongi was sitting on your bed, still wrapped in your mint duvet like a key lime cake roll, waiting as you rummaged around in your dresser, searching for literally any piece of clothing that might possibly fit him. The problem was, you worked from home, so you didn't exactly own a plethora of different clothing options. Your daily wardrobe consisted of slinky black leggings...
"They're stretchy?" you suggested timidly.
Yoongi had blinked at you. "I don't think so."
"It could work?"
He pursed his lips together. "I think you're forgetting something."
You gave him a blank look. "Huh?"
Yoongi gave you his deadpan stare. "I believe you are well acquainted with human male genitalia."
He had a dick.
You turned red and robotically shoved your leggings back into their place. A sudden thought flitted across your brain and you spun back to face him, blurting it out before filtering yourself.
"Hahaha, good thing I never got you fixed, eh?"
Yoongi blinked very, very slowly. It was hard to tell if he was annoyed, amused, or wanted to murder you. In conclusion, typical cat behavior.
"I'm not fond of the idea of castration, so I suppose so."
Your vet had suggested it, but since he had been an indoor cat and you weren't intending on getting another, you figured you wouldn't put him under the unnecessary surgery and it would help you avoid the cost. A little irresponsible? Maybe. But you were very careful not to leave the front door open and, so far, he hasn't had the chance to get some poor lady cat knocked up.
He knew you considered permanently removing his nuts. Yikes.
Sorry, Shooks. Er, Yoongi.
In any case!
The other half of your daily wardrobe was sweatshirts, but Yoongi's shoulders were too broad for them and he was too tall. Why was he so big anyway? Well, he wasn’t exactly big, just long-limbed. You guessed he was actually on the leaner side, judging from the way the duvet wrapped around him and the brief flash of long fingers, slim forearm, and toned chest. He had been a larger cat.
Seven kilos turned into... him?
You suddenly started and yanked open your underwear drawer, shuffling through it to get to the back and pull out a neatly folded dark gray blob.
"I have this–"
The response was so forceful and dismissive that you froze, the dark gray fabric unfurling in your loose grip. It was a large men's sweatshirt, soft, charcoal, slightly acid-wash, covered with white paint stains. Eggshell white, to be exact. The exact paint color of this very bedroom, because you had worn it to repaint over that original disgusting beige color.
"Why not?" you inquired, holding it up by the shoulders. "It'll fit you, for sure. It used to be..."
Yoongi kept his completely neutral expression trained on you as you reached your revelation, his dark eyes observing every detail of your body's reaction to the memory. Your grip on the sweatshirt tightened. You felt your cheeks and ears heat, pulse roaring in your ears.
Er, right, so…
That one time that Shooky – no, Yoongi? – jumped on your back and made you choke on a dick? Yeah, that guy. Tattoo guy. Yeah, well, before that incident, tattoo guy was the friend of a friend who offered to help you paint your apartment because he had experience working construction – “helped my dad fix-up a house to resell for a couple months,” he had said with his disgustingly cute, cheeky grin, making you nod like an idiot and your pussy throb with his endearing adorableness – and you had moved all the furniture out so you two could get it done quickly.
You had to put your cat in the bathroom.
You didn’t want him to breathe in the fumes or get paint on his luscious fur. It was for his own good.
Tattoo guy had appeared in said charcoal sweatshirt, black ripped jeans, and the most attractive thighs in the whole damn universe, just out and about, giant holes exposing tan skin and taut muscle. Your eyes widened, frozen at your front door.
Oh yeah, he had paint rollers too. You hadn’t given a shit about those in that moment.
He had noticed you staring and laughed sheepishly. “Sorry, I just wore the ugliest pants I own. It might get messy, you know?”
No, tattoo guy. No one thought your pants were ugly.
You sure as hell didn’t.
“Oh, yeah, that’s why I wore this gross t-shirt,” you said absentmindedly, referring to your four-sizes-too-large, free t-shirt that had been chucked at your head while walking past your university common area. It was a hideous chanteuse with magenta writing, a color combination that absolutely deserved to go to hell, and could not even be saved by the quirky, stylish, thrift-savvy TIkTokers of today. It was the ugliest thing you owned, so you wore it to repaint your bedroom.
Now you regretted it.
Tattoo guy looked you up and down. He smirked under his long black hair.
“Your body still looks great though.”
Didn’t really matter that you couldn’t conjure a sexy response, because, clearly, tattoo guy had made his decision leagues before arriving here. Painting a bedroom? Oh, yeah, you did that, and with way too much sexual tension. A man should not be that flirty while holding two paint rollers and speed painting your walls. What were you supposed to do? You barely knew the guy. All you managed to do was make awkward small talk to get to know him better. Then he took off his sweatshirt.
“Wait, that’s illegal.”
He had smirked at you, spinning the paint roller in his hand, white t-shirt molded to his body. “Hm?”
You were being mildly disrespected, but also you were gawking at his tattooed right arm and his blindingly beautiful forearms. Cough, no. You didn’t have a thing for attractive forearms. Wasn’t like staring at this muscular pair was making you weak at the knees or anything. Okay, maybe. But you weren’t going to say it out loud. Tattoo guy ticked his chin below you, to the floor. Your job was to paint the little nooks at the corners, ceiling, and baseboards. You spent a whole lot of your job sneaking glances at him and getting caught.
“You missed a spot.”
You whipped your head to the floor, craning your head to look for it. A paint roller appeared beside you, pointing to a small sliver for nasty beige. He had a clear, silvery voice.
You frowned at it and raised your paintbrush in warning to the offensive beige, ready to strike.
You started and fell over.
You sputtered, legs tangled, oversized shirt flipping up, trying not to drop the paintbrush and drawing a fat streak across the unpainted wall. You shook your head roughly, clutching the handle of the brush, cool draft floating up your shirt.
Tattoo guy appeared above you, grinning, his front teeth slightly too large and giving him the appearance of a rambunctious bunny.
You felt your neck and ears heat. No, you were not alright. Yes, you were older, but that didn’t… that wasn’t the time… You didn’t expect it, that’s all. You tried very hard not to look at his thighs. Or his face. Or his chest. Just didn’t look at him. Also, you were pretty sure you were flashing him and pretty fucking sure you didn’t give a shit.
You coughed awkwardly. “Yup, I’m good.”
Back to copious sexual tension complemented by paint fumes.
Once the first coat was down, you two stood in the center of the room, surrounded by the plastic drop cloth, him banishing a paint roller and you a paintbrush. Challenge complete and it didn’t take you very long. Nice.
“We have to let it dry and then we can paint another coat,” he was explaining.
“It looks fine like this.”
Tattoo guy clicked his tongue, shaking his head. “Once it dries, it will look uneven. Trust me.”
You frowned. “Okay. How long should we wait?”
“Couple hours, at least.”
A couple hours? You frowned more. “What are we supposed to do until then?”
He didn’t reply. You turned your head to face him and tattoo guy was staring at you with a smile.
He was spinning the paint roller with one hand. You felt your ears and neck heat. He switched from his left hand to his right, seamlessly. Incredibly sexy. Were the paint fumes getting to you? You gulped, awkwardly gesturing to the paintbrush.
“Let me just… put this down…”
You turned around and balanced your paintbrush in the paint tray, only to gasp as your felt something foamy roll down your back, covering you with the strong stench of paint. It stopped above the curve of your ass, unable to roll smoothly any longer.
“Hmm, can’t get past your juicy ass, noona,” he teased.
You spun around, cheeks flushed, sputtering.
No, no. You didn’t forget tattoo guy’s name. You remembered it, even now. Remembered saying it in multiple different ways, even.
In surprise, streaks of paint in your hair, him smirking, dropping the paint roller on the other plastic tray and somehow not tipping it over, thank goodness, him walking up to you, taking the bottom of your paint-covered chanteuse university t-shirt, leaning down to whisper hotly against your lips.
“Ah, sorry, it seemed like you didn’t like that shirt very much,” he breathed, sending your brain into overdrive with the heat against your skin, his knuckles brushing your thighs. “You can wear my sweatshirt instead, if you like.”
Your eyes widened, staring at him in shock.
In breathlessness, heart pounding in your chest, gaze locked with mischievous dark chocolate orbs, his teeth catching his lower lip, tiny mole underneath revealed.
Why was his voice so deep? The tiny tip of his pink tongue darted out, licking his lips enticingly.
This man was illegal.
Your hands darted down and gripped his, catching your lower lip in your teeth as well, matching his lip bite, seeing the eagerness growing in his eyes.
Someone should call the police. Or an ambulance.
You grinned, cocking an eyebrow. “I don’t want to wear anything around you.”
But not for you.
There was a very loud meow from your bathroom, but before Jungkook could ask, you yanked your shirt up and over your head. He gasped and instantly it was lips on lips, messy kisses and stumbling to the living room were your bed, dresser, nightstands, bookcase, knickknacks, everything scattered everywhere, but Jungkook and you were too busy yanking off clothes and getting frisky to give a shit.
You stared at Yoongi now, red from head to toe, clutching the dark gray sweatshirt. He rolled his eyes and looked away from you.
“I… washed it?” you offered weakly.
Yoongi’s dark brows raised from under his black bangs. “Mmm, you forget that I have quite keen hearing. I’m not deaf like you, human.”
The color drained from your face.
Maybe, just maybe, Jungkook got you to wear his dark gray sweatshirt, forcing you – respectfully, he called you noona, after all – to get on your hands and knees for him, then make you wait in said embarrassing position with his sweatshirt bunched around your neck – because, er, gravity – while he casually made you watch him roll the condom on, highly amused by your impatient glare, only to move away and slowly shove his dick inside your soaking wet pussy and spank your ass until you backed up into him enough times to make yourself cum on his stiff length without him moving his hips.
Respectfully, of course.
“Fuck, noona, that was so fucking hot…”
“Jungkook,” you gasped breathlessly, ass stinging in glorious pain. “F-Fuck me, please.”
He made you scream.
He fucked your hard, making the bed creak, pounding you so roughly into the mattress that your fingers curled into the mint sheets, and when you gasped that you were close, he fucking stopped, the damn sadist, causing you to slam your fists into the bed and buck back into his crotch, Jungkook chuckling at your desperation. In your haze of begging for Jungkook’s cock, you heard a judgmental meow from your bathroom, but before you could address it, Jungkook seemed to have accepted your pleading and began to thrust into you once more, making you lose your train of thought and all thoughts in general, except your dire need to orgasm.
Jungkook had made you moan for hours.
Right now, however, Yoongi’s sharp look was making you mute. You were so mortified that you swore your soul stood up and walked out of your body, too ashamed to be in Yoongi’s presence any longer.
“Mmm,” the dark-haired man mused absentmindedly, pointed ears flicking.
From spitting onto the mirror to mentioning his possible castration to remembering that you had locked Yoongi in the bathroom for hours to have mind-blowing sex with Jeon Jungkook under the guise of repainting your bedroom walls…
Too bad life doesn’t have an undo button.
You suddenly remembered Jungkook pushing you up against the bathroom door, your leg hooked around his waist, his cock plunging in and out of you, lips on your neck, and your wrists pinned to the door, rattling it as he fucked you, whispering against your skin.
“You sound so fucking sexy, make more sounds for me, I’ll fuck you as much as you want, fuck you until you can’t think, can’t move, just to hear you say my name over and over…”
“Jungkook… f-fuck, you f-feel so fucking good, o-oh, Jungkook…!”
He pulled his lips away from your neck and smirked in your face.
Your back arced against the bathroom door as you came, pussy throbbing and spasming, the top of your head touching the wood, gasping Jungkook’s name in ecstasy, slamming your wrists against the door, Jungkook moaning as he came inside you, cock jerking inside the condom and swelling it with his orgasm, lips crashing down on yours and you whining pathetically into his mouth as he sucked on your tongue roughly.
A quiet, disapproving meow below you.
A master yikes.
You deliberately shoved the dark gray blob back into your underwear drawer.
Yoongi pursed his lips.
“Why is it in your underwear drawer, anyway?”
You slowly closed it, the wood snapping as the drawer touched the dresser.
A crow cawed in the distance.
“You know what, let me make a trip to the convenience store…” was your hollow reply as you mechanically walked out of your bedroom, followed by a mint duvet.
“Do you know what size I would be?” came the husky, amused chuckle behind you as you pawed around your apartment for your wallet, two masks, hand sanitizer.
“I’ll just… buy a variety…”
“Or you could measure.”
You heard a rustle and you whipped your head around, only to see Yoongi’s cocked eyebrow and a slight bit of his exposed shoulders, collarbones on display, silver bell jingling. He yanked it back up, frowning at you.
“Are you a pervert?”
You jerked away and hastily hooked the masks on your ears, fumbling with your sneakers before declaring, “I will be right back!” And then you threw yourself out the door.
Yoongi sighed, finally releasing his hold on the duvet.
“Ugh, so stuffy…”
His long black tail whipped about.
The door suddenly jerked back open and you plucked your keys from the side dish.
Only to see Yoongi fully naked, sleek black tail whisking around, blinking at you.
He was naked.
Very, one hundred percent, naked.
The mint duvet was pooled around his legs on the ground and Min Yoongi, who was formerly your cat Shooky, was a fair-skinned, long-limbed, lean-bodied, very attractive tall man, with velvety black cat ears and tail and – urk! – completely intact human male genitalia. Your neck, ears, cheeks, chest, ancestors from generations long ago, all turned red in embarrassment. Once again, you soul completely left your body in pure mortification.
“D… Don’t leave!” you blurted, snapping the door closed.
Yoongi just stood there, sighing as he heard the door lock and a body bolt down the apartment building stairs.
“You didn’t even change out of your pajamas…” he muttered, picking up the duvet.
"I can't wear these."
It was a few hours later. Thankfully, when you arrived home with your purchases, your cat... man was asleep, wrapped like a mint cake roll in your duvet. You tried not to think about his naked body on your bed, therefore ending up thinking about his naked body on your bed.
"You need to wear pants! For..."
Dark eyebrows raised.
After getting home, you had spent the next thirty minutes hand-washing a black t-shirt, black boxer briefs, and loose black pants that were definitely too short but it was the only size available that could fit that waist, so you had to make do. You put the other shirts and underwear in the washing machine, but you needed to wash at least one outfit and hang it to dry. You tried to use the hottest water your hands could handle to sterilize the clothing, wincing at the blistering heat.
You didn't know if Yoongi could get coronavirus but you weren't going to risk it.
Eventually you placed everything on the drying rack and positioned your space heater on them to dry them off.
Then you passed out on the couch. You deserved it, after working so hard.
Only to be woken up by Yoongi poking your shoulder roughly and telling you he couldn't wear the underwear and pants.
He was still holding the duvet around his body and your neck was still regretting every second of sleeping on the couch. Ow. Too much physical labor. Quarantine had turned you into a formless potato. You sat up halfway, wincing. Ugh, pain. You jabbed your finger at Yoongi, who gave you a displeased narrowing of his eyes.
"Put the pants on, you animal!"
Yoongi swept around the sofa, mint duvet and all, determined glint in his dark orbs, lips pursed in annoyance. You started, cracking your neck by accident, yelping in pain as you fell back against the couch.
Yoongi planted himself on top of you nimbly.
Partly because you were shocked, but mostly because your neck seized a bit.
His legs were on either side of you, body still wrapped up, perfectly balanced despite the sudden leap, surveying you with a disapproving and discerning eye. The silver bell on his neck jingled with his movement. You could feel his calves against your knees.
His bare calves.
"Are you dumb?"
"What?" you croaked in response.
Yoongi rolled his eyes. "You always forget things."
You blinked at him, confused, neck heating. "What are you talking about?" you snapped impatiently.
You felt something long and furry hit your leg. Your body almost jerked up in surprise, but Yoongi hissed at you, making you lurch back, somewhat stunned at how cat-like it sounded. It was definitely a warning. You were still in your pajamas, slightly thinner material than your usual clothes. It had been cold outside, but your everlasting embarrassment had kept you toasty warm.
Like it was now, because you realized your clothed outer thigh was touching his inner thigh.
His naked inner thigh.
You let out a noise between shock and confusion.
The long, furry thing brushed against your legs as Yoongi watched you reach your slow realization.
"O-oh... Right. You have a tail..."
He grunted, thinning his eyes into slits. "Yes, because I am a cat."
Highly debatable at the moment, but you were too busy remembering your cat also had a human dick and nuts. Well, not also. Only had? Well. Maybe if you had a seco–
No. No, never mind that. Yeah.
You gulped, trying to suppress the rising heat in your ears and failing. "I can sew?"
Yoongi tilted his head, nose wrinkling a bit. Then he got off you, circling around the couch. You sat up, neck still hurting, but the warmth of your embarrassment somehow helping. Yes, great, trading temporary physical pain for lifetime mental embarrassment, only for such moments to be remembered at the most inopportune times to throw you off guard.
You visibly cringed before standing up, seeing Yoongi's hand snake out and nab the boxer briefs, making them disappear into the duvet. You saw the fabric rustle and then the briefs reappeared, chucked at your face.
Your head snapped back at the force, arms flailing.
"Should be about four or five centimeters. Make it quick. It's hot under here."
You yanked the underwear off your face, scowling. "I'm not your maid!"
Yoongi raised an eyebrow, black ears flicking. He was smirking at you. You narrowed your eyes. What was this guy so high and mighty for? If anything, he should be grateful that you even car–
"You're been cleaning up my literal shit for a few years now, so you are practically are my maid."
... Wait a second, he's right.
You growled and hauled yourself up.
An hour later, your cat was dressed.
Min Yoongi was finally wearing clothes and not your duvet and your fingers stung like a bitch.
You ended up snipping a hole and using bias tape to seal off the raw edges. You didn’t own a sewing machine, so this was the next best thing you could think of without destroying your fingers by trying to imitate zig-zag stiches, although you ended up destroying your fingers anyway because you had to sew small, delicate stitches to attach the bias tape. The area was too high traffic to not reinforce.
“Please tell me you know how to use the bathroom by yourself from now on.”
Yoongi had raised an eyebrow.
“Of course. I’ve watched you enough times to know how to expel human excrement.”
Right. Because he was your cat. Don’t think about it too much. You were trying to take everything one thing at a time so you didn’t overwhelm yourself. Those were future-you problems. Why does he talk like that anyway? You didn’t even know how he knew Korean. Was it because you watched too much television? Yikes.
You rubbed your forehead, dismissing the discussion. “Good talk.”
You realized you would have to cut openings for his tail for all the underwear on the drying rack but, again, that was a future-you problem. Instead, you let him change in your bedroom and went to retrieve the laptop on your coffee table. Plugged it in and turned it on.
All your settings were wack.
“The fuck?” you muttered, resetting your display, volume, brightness, sigh, nearly everything. This only happened when a certain someone stepped on the keys when you weren’t looking. You raised your voice, still looking at the screen. “Did you fuck with my computer last night?”
“No. Oh, well, I did sleep on it,” Yoongi was saying as he stepped out of your bedroom. You growled in your chest, annoyed, but setting everything back into its place before opening your Google calendar. Nothing due immediately, thank god. “Er, maybe you shouldn’t…”
You looked up.
Yoongi mussed his black hair, scratching at his velvety black ear. You noticed he didn’t have a set of human ears. Well, duh. That’d be weird. He was still wearing the black choker with the little silver bell on it. The t-shirt was nicely loose on his frame, the black standing out against his fair skin. The sweatpants were a little short on the ankle, the slim fit showing off his leanness. The sleek black tail swished back and forth.
He was… handsome.
Yoongi looked apprehensive, twisting his lips to one side. “Hmm.”
You blinked at him. “What?”
He shrugged. “Well, when I woke up as a human, I was cold, except for…” His hand ghosted towards his crotch. He pulled it away, waving it aside. “Mmm, never mind.”
You gave him a confused look and went back to your keyboard, typing away. Yoongi winced but you were too busy replying to an email to think too much about it.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to inform you of the following.
Min Yoongi had woken up on the coffee table, fucking freezing because humans didn’t have fur, and because his nuts and dick were getting roasted by your overheating laptop keyboard.
Upon waking up, he had a mild mental breakdown as you continued snoring loudly and unceremoniously, before scurrying away to the warmest place he knew – your bed, where he claimed the duvet and tried to figure out what the fuck was going on.
Is this real life?
He had poked at various parts of his new body, trying to figure out if this was a dream or a horrific nightmare.
As we all know.
Life is a horrific nightmare, so indeed, this was real life.
You jumped as Yoongi slumped down on the sofa next to you, sticking his head and ears into your view, blocking the computer screen.
You gawked at him.
“What a-are you d-doing?” you sputtered.
“I’m hungry,” he repeated. He had a bit of a raspy, almost growly voice at times, reminding you of a cat’s meow. His meow, in fact.
You scooted away, neck heating. Yoongi followed, prodding you.
“Why are you like this?” you grumbled irritably, smacking his hand. Yoongi persisted, as if you did nothing at all.
“This is how I get your attention, because you humans will ignore me if I don’t.”
“You’re a human too!”
“No, I am a cat.”
“Hello?” You grabbed his hand and jabbed at his palm, pointing to his thumb. “Cats don’t have thumbs!”
Yoongi yanked his hand out, shockingly similar to how Shooky used to pull his paw out when you were massaging his little white socks and he was over it. You noticed his cuticles looked a bit dry and torn up. Lately, Shooky’s paws had been a little chewed up too. You frowned at it, tilting your head.
Yoongi stood up and his tail whacked you in the face.
You scowled, rubbing your cheek. Yoongi stared down at you, face expressionless.
Okay, your cat might be a man now, but he was still a borderline asshole, so not much had changed.
You both stared at the bowl of dry cat food.
Yoongi raised an eyebrow.
“What am I supposed to do with all this cat food then? I just brought it last week!”
“That’s your problem.”
You threw up your hands and cooked you both some lunch.
This was too much.
You know what you did when it was too much?
You took a nap.
You had dishes to clean, underwear to make tail-holes for, a cat that was now a man, an existential crisis to address, but you know what? You took a fucking nap instead. You left Yoongi with your computer and Netflix and told him to do whatever as long as none of it involved him leaving the house.
Yoongi had snorted. “What do I need to go out there for?”
“Awesome. I’m taking a nap.”
And you passed out.
Only to wake up groggily because your lungs were being crushed.
Actually no, it kind of felt like your whole torso was being crushed.
You fought with your sleepiness, somehow worse off than you had been before the nap, scrunching up your face ad blinking blearily. Head on memory foam pillow, check. Back on soft mattress, check. Black hair with sleek cat ears and pale face pressed on your chest? Check.
You lurched and the head grunted, shoulders solidly pinning you down. He was under the mint-colored duvet. Yoongi, your cat that was now a man, was under the duvet.
UNDER THE DUVET.
“Stop yelling. Is that all you humans do? Yell?”
“Why are you – what are you doing here?” you hissed shrilly, trying to wiggle out from under him, but it was impossible. Yoongi was far too big now for you to throw him off.
“Sleeping, obviously,” he grumbled. “Or I was, until you started shouting.”
“Yes, but this is my bed,” you emphasized, realizing you could move your hands so you grabbed him by the waist, fingers grasping the black jersey fabric. You pressed inwards, hands molding to his sides.
Yoongi raised his head, squinting down at you.
An oddly familiar gaze of accusation and uncaring. His eyes were dark brown, not the recognizable mint, but the effect was the same. Pink lips upturned, slightly annoyed.
You suddenly remembered he was a man.
A man who was pressed down against you, long legs around your legs, broad chest to your chest, and shockingly attractive for someone who used to be a cat.
“I sleep in your bed all the time. What’s the difference?” Yoongi muttered.
What’s the difference?
You’re a man!
A HOT MAN!!!
You struggled to find words, completely entranced by how close Yoongi’s face was to yours, watching his ears adjust slightly to pick up all the small sounds around him. You opened your mouth and it only made a tiny squeak. The pressure on your chest was becoming unbearable. You were so shocked that you completely forgot that you were still dying. You cleared your throat as Yoongi looked increasingly displeased.
“You… You used to be over the duvet…”
Yoongi yawned, nodding a little. “Yes, but it’s colder now. No more fur. I don’t know how you humans survive. Must be why you buy these warm things.”
Your hands were still on his waist. You pulled them away quickly and Yoongi frowned.
“Y-Yeah, but… you weigh a lot more now…” you croaked. “Can’t… breathe…”
Yoongi sighed heavily, as if this was a great disappointment. He slid off you.
“Hmm, I suppose that’s true.”
He nestled close to you and you still stunned, pin-straight body.
“Guess it’ll have to be like this instead from now on.”
From now on?
Oh. Oh no.
Yoongi’s velvety, pointed ear flicked against your cheek, a low hum resounding in his chest.
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Spoiler-Filled Reaction to the 1st Ep of TFATWS: ‘New World Order’ ...
Okay, so I may switch up and do weekly recaps via audio. Either way, I’m getting something out before the weekend is up...
It’s a been a few days, so I can go a bit more in depth with my thoughts on that pilot ep.
~ So, that opening was quiet and down-to-earth. For me, it was hammering home not only the humbleness of Sam (despite the bravado, the man is naive in his optimism and *not* superpowered), but being stuck in his initial thoughts about the shield.
...That it didn’t feel like it belonged to him.
Sam’s personality, has been established as super-loyal and almost childlike in his feelings that things will work out and doing the right thing because it’s right (which is why he didn’t get paid enough BTW naive pride).
-which comes into play w/ his conflict w/ his sister later... I’ll come back to that.
~ We jump into a dangerous mission that shows off Falcon’s personality. He’s gonna get it done with style and optimism even when working with equipment that needs a few updates.
The stunt coordination here was fantastic! I legit whewed! aloud at Balroc paragliding into *multiple* helicopters... Sam’s hair-pin turns milimeters from canyon rock, propellers, and rockets...
~ I *loved* Torres’ fanboying. It felt like a parallel to Sam fanboying Cap, in CA:WS and evoked the well-established superhero trope of a person *marveling* aloud at what you’re doing making it so. much. cooler. (as an oldhead, the random black dude emoting about Superman’s suit after he comes out of a phonebooth, in the Reeves movie, is my earliest memory of this trope).
~ Then we see the Tunisia titlecard, which yea! it didn’t just say Africa, but ehh, once again “yellow tint” is code for “exotic” country full of brown people.
It did cut through the typically more alt-right-tinged military propaganda w/ the Tunisian man thanking Sam for saving his wife, the bare minimum of humanization... but it saved the scene from just “backdropping” the people/culture w/o any humanity, at all, as is typical...
That and the way these two BIPOC spoke to one another (there is a certain kind of rapport we non-white folk have w/ each other) was my first hint...that this showrunner ain’t a white dude. The joking about him knowing Arabic...like cheering/teasing when we show our range to one another.
Mainly, this interaction was to show that Sam is to Torres what Steve was to Sam in some ways...with a bit more “brazen kid” on Torres’ part, along w/ introing the idea of the Flagsmashers.
~ Then, naive Sam decides to donate the shield to the Smithsonian...because he doesn’t feel like he’s earned it and because in his mind it still belongs to Cap and because he’s out here trusting this governement even after all the B.S. he’s done lived through. Even Rhodey was having his doubts... Maybe being around during the blip makes a person more savvy and cynical, IDK.
~ So, then we see Buck in therapy and since I’ve been through trauma, I know that mindset. Sticking to routine is a big “win”. Not really caring about anything beyond the bare essentials (yall saw that man’s apartment).
And the feeling of being displaced would be amplified by the fact that this man is more so than anyone who has existed(!).
~ I noticed that Seb leaned into his Rom-Merican accent, which was a great acting choice, it evokes his sense of having traveled without a solid sense of self in a place, because he was essentially, asleep all those decades, while the brainwashed aspect of himself was enslaved to Hydra.
I LOVE his therapist.
Fannishness for a cute guy, means a lot of people don’t like her being “mean” to him... But I’mma tell you, as someone who actually has been in therapy for a good bit, you *need* someone who will call you on your bullshit so you can properly work on it. I love that she’s also a vet and there’s nothing cutesy and coddling in a male-gazey sexy or motherly way.
She’s doing her fucking job and not letting his ass slide. To me, that read as a hat-tip to a woman drecting this.
So, we see Buck manifest his trauma w/ profound discomfort in his own skin. He doesn’t know how to interact anymore, how to swagger in this strange time and place (because dude had all kinds of 1940′s swagger and juice back in CA:TFA) So, he’s just awkwardly honest, and beating himself up for that.
But... he’s still alive, so he totally perked up in the presence of this attractive server and Yori notices and like so many old people, just busted his chops and skipped all the what he wasn’t gonna do and did it for him, w/ Leah’s confidant acceptance -ahhh, I luv her!- as an assist.
~ Then we flip back to Sam in Delacroix and we meet his sister and his nephews and his community(!) which really nails down Sam the man, the person, the human apart from his underwritten assists to the Avengers.
We see that Sarah knows and loves this naively optimistic ‘I will find a way to fix it because it’s the right thing to do’ hard-headed brother.... but good-God! he doesn’t know shit about real-world day-to-day struggle...
If you’ve seen Anthony Mackie in The Hurt Locker... one of the big themes explored, is how tough it is for vets who have been through explosions and firefights in another country... to adjust to day-to-day struggle in “normal life”.
THAT is what Buck’s therapist was calling out when she said BULLSHIT to him saying he wanted peace (lol, no he doesn’t, like Sam he wants that righeous kind of adrenalin only being in action for “good” gives) and what Sarah is frustrated w/ is regarding him not understanding or respecting the kind of struggle she had to deal w/.
~ As an aside I *loved* her *nose-scratch* “Can I talk to you for a minute??” Whew! That is a black-ass way to let you know someone is pissed w/ you and wants to hash all the shit out.
That’s why Sam avoided it, lol...
~ So, the date with Leah, who does all the right things...Goes terribly, because Buck is still too deep in his trauma focus on anything about how great she is.
Note, that just about everything that happened on that date reminded him of aspects of his trauma to the point where Buck, (being an absolute dick!) just fucking, walks out on her!! I NEED her to chew his ass out for that and I need him to *not* be able to make it up to her (and I’d also love some fanfic, where Buck actually does *ahem* treat her well... I know Asian women be shorted in fanfic too!)
~ So, he goes to Yori’s apartment and stares like an obvious knucklehead (still dealing w/ being stuck in his trauma) at the alter to the man who was just in the way of that brainwashed aspect of himself, pays for the lunch and walks off...AND, NOTE!!
YORI DID NOTICE ALL THIS. So, this will eventually come to a head...yikes!
~ Then we’re back to Sam, and Sarah who tries to have that talk, but old boy ain’t trying to hear it. Insisting that he’s the man to swoop in and save the boat and the business *sigh* by some magic (hanging with magical beings...will do that, I guess).
And Sarah smartly is just frustrated and skeptical, but lets him go on and try and fail in the same ways she already did so. many. times... in those five years.
~ And then we see bb Torres being brazen kid stupid amateur spy w/ the Flagsmashers. I honestly thought old masked dude stomped him to death, at first... The camera pan showed the cliched dead-man pose, after all. I guess he pulled that (super!)stomp, which means... Flagsmashers aren’t the lethal villians here IMO.
I think they escaped from the *real* villian.
~ And then comes some real world racist bullshit... This scene at the bank *nails* a particular kind of frustratingly infuriating racism that is common. Where they will act like they are doing you a favor because they like and want something from you... but still won’t serve you in the same way they would a white person.
It’s this strange willfullly “I like you negroes, you entertain me! -but fuck you -but I still like you!” patronizing thing that we know all too well. *whew!* That was real.
And then that heartbreaking scene where after Sarah rightly told-ya-so’s. -Sam is working on that mess of an engine and reality *finally* sets in when the key didn’t even attempt to turnover.
~ Then Torres messages Sam (and he’s alive!) and we all know Sam knows these Flasgsmashers got super-serum, but isn’t saying. Even TORRES knows (bless his heart).
~ And from there we go straight to the U.S. government rubbing salty dirt in Sam’s wound with the new/fake Cap holding the shield aloft and winking like “It’s mine now, bitch!”.
---And the credits, I won’t get into except to say if you want ALL the spoilers in the credits, watch that linked video, I posted earlier.
But they are SIGNIFICANT spoilers.
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we on a spree today!
Would you rather be twice as smart or twice as happy? Give me the happiness, please.
What happened the last time you cried? I was having a PTSD episode.
What happened the time in your life when you were the most nervous to do something? I think the most nervous I've ever been was in elementary school when I won the D.A.R.E. essay contest and had to read my paper in front of the whole 4th and 5th grade in the gym. There may be something else, though, there's just a LOT of instances where I've been an anxious mess.
What was the greatest television show of all time? Meerkat Manor, man. I canNOT wait for it to resume, I believe this summer.
What one thing would you be most disappointed if you never got to experience it? Maybe petting a meerkat, particularly a descendant of a Meerkat Manor character, Flower Whiskers in specific. I would cry, and that is a promise. I am just... so thankful for those little creatures. Because of them, I've met so many irreplacable friends and developed a hobby that was a way to dump my creativity into since I was what, 10 years old?
What celebrity would you trade lives with? BITCH let me be Amy Nelson (Mark's gf) for OBVIOUS REASONS. Haha on a serious note though she is an INCREDIBLE person that I'm so glad Mark found. :'''')
What story do your friends still give you crap about? Nothing, really.
What is your weirdest dealbreaker? I'unno... define a "weird" dealbreaker. I find mine to be pretty reasonable.
What’s the first thing you’d do if you were the opposite sex for one day? Well, look at myself in a mirror? See how I look.
What is the weirdest quirk your family has? We have this thing where we say "I love you mostest period" at random to imply we love the other person more than they could love us, indisputably.
How old is the last person you kissed on the cheek or lips? On the cheek, it was either my niece or nephew, who are 4 and 6. The person I last kissed on the lips is 22.
Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? Not anymore, no. I don't wear jeans.
Do you think you could live with your best friend? I would fuckin LOVE to.
Do you have someone who you can be your complete self around? I'm most comfortable with myself around Sara.
What were you doing when you found out Michael Jackson was dead? I was swimming in the pool while Dad was grilling lunch.
The last person you kissed, was it a drunken or sober? Sober.
Have you ever introduced yourself with a name other than your own? Online, I've introduced myself with my account name, but generally, I say I'm Brittany.
Are any of your siblings married? I don't know about the half-sister I don't know, but two are married, and one is engaged.
Do you use an umbrella when it rains? Not usually, no.
When was the last time you had a lot of fun? A lot of fun? That's one damn good question. Probably not since I last hung out with Sara.
The last time you cried, who was there to comfort you? I was alone.
What was your most recent reason for smiling / laughing? I chuckled at something in a John Wolfe video.
Are you attracted to the last person you talked to? Um, that would be my mother. So no.
Do you like your middle name, or does it embarrass you? It's pretty, but I hate having it. It's one of the most common white chick middle names ever.
Are your toenails painted? No; I don't paint my nails.
When was the last time you couldn't stop laughing? Why? Probably a funny YT video, I dunno.
Any ways in which you're very different from the person you love/like? We have some differing political views.
Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? The timing felt right and I love(d) her.
Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Yeah.
Who was the last person’s voice you heard? Besides via YouTube, my mom's.
Who do you get along with best in your family? Mom.
Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah.
Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Oh, absolutely my mother.
Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? Oh god no, I'd die.
The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I never do. It adds oil to your hair, and mine is naturally oily enough.
Do you prefer light or dark jeans? DARK.
Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a good handful of those.
When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? I just listen, usually.
Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? Yeah.
Does more than one person like you? *shrug*
You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? I fucking hate that my answer is "Jason."
If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? As far as I'm concerned, my hair will never be long again. I love it so much more short.
What if you were told that your life has to stay exactly as it is right now, and nothing will ever change? How would you feel about that? I'd... honestly probably kill myself. I don't know that with certainty, but yeah. I'd be pretty damn devastated.
What’s the most expensive thing you own? Probably my snake.
Name something you really can’t wait for? MAY!!!!!!! GIMME MY TATTOOOOOOOO!!!!!
What do you want in your future? E.g marraige, kids… A great career, a healthy and permanent relationship, lots of pets, adventure, life satisfaction...
Got any major celeb crushes? m a r k e d w a r d f i s c h b a c h
Do you have any glow-in-the-dark items in your room? If so what? No.
Have you ever stalked anybody? Yeesh, no.
If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? I'll just hypothetically say I WANTED to be on television for this, because irl, I don't. Ummm. I guess That '70s Show, because I love the '70s, and it'd be so cool to have a big group of friends like that.
What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don't use hairspray.
What is the last thing you tripped over? Our doorstep, lmao.
Do you were glasses or contacts? If so what color are your frames/contacts? I wear black-rimmed glasses.
Do you like stickers? If so what kinds do you like? Yeah. I used to collect them as a kid and put them all over my dresser.
Do you like coloring? Yes.
What is in your backyard? Some bushes and a shed. Maybe a tree. I've been out there like, once.
Do you own a globe? No.
What is your favorite wild cat? Snow leopards are the prettiest, imo. As animals in general, I find lions the most interesting.
How many continents have you been to, and which ones? I've never left North America.
How many continents has your best friend been to, and which ones? She hasn't, either.
How many continents has your dad been to, and which ones? Same as above.
Have you ever been so terrified that you felt paralyzed? Yep.
What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The community college I first went to. Particularly where Jason and I took his senior prom pictures.
Who was the last relative you visited? Grammy, before she passed away. My uncle was with her, too.
Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Oh, certainly. I wonder all the time what would have happened if Jason didn't leave. I could still be horribly depressed, or dead, considering ultimately, the event led to me finding the help I so desperately needed. Or maybe I'd be perfectly happy with kids and know how to be an actual adult. I was only a teenager, and yet with him, I never felt more mature and just... capable.
When you’re home alone, do you still shower with the bathroom door closed? Yes.
Have you ever bought something really expensive and ended up returning it? I don't believe so.
If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Amy Lee is the brazenly obvious answer.
What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, rock, indie. Same general category, I know, but it's almost all I listen to.
Is there anything you’d like to say to your last ex? We're best friends, and I talk to her regularly, so I can tell her anything.
Where did you buy your dishes from? No clue. We've had the same plates and bowls I think my entire life.
Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No.
Have you ever been on a ship? Boats, yeah. I think ships are just the really big ones, right? Sails and all?
Do you ever take intentional breaks from checking/posting on social media? No.
Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David Lee Roth. He's an arrogant bastard, but boy can he sing.
Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? I don't know. Maybe the Joker.
Do you watch The Office? Gossip Girl? Grey’s Anatomy? None of 'em.
Name someone you know with a birthday in December: Sara!
What color was the last vehicle you were in? White.
What is your dad’s name? Kenneth, but he's just called "Ken."
When was the last time you slept in a bed with someone else? Not since I last visited Sara.
Do you have any indoor pets? Both my pets are indoors.
How do you feel about teenagers claiming to be in love? It's entirely possible. I was; nobody could EVER convince me I wasn't.
Are you dating anyone? If so, for how long? No.
Do you know anyone with Down's Syndrome? I think so?
What animal that is endangered is your favorite? Oh yikes, I don't know. I don't really know every endangered animal, y'know, and I love all animals SO much. Maybe elephants or tigers.
How do you believe the Earth and life on it was created? I feel like there was SOME sort of ultimate intelligence that created the universe, but I don't know anything about it/him/her/whatever. Then I believe in evolution. Basically, some sort of conscious creation, and then let life do its thing.
What’s your religion? I don't have one. You could say theism, but is that even a proper religion?
Do you like your teeth? No. During my worst depression, I was very bad at taking care of them, and now they have a yellowish tint.
Have you considered getting contacts that change your eyecolor? What color? Oh yes, I've wanted to have more sapphire blue eyes.
Do you wish you lived somewhere else? Yes. Living in the suburbs just isn't my jam, but it works for right now.
What’s the craziest color you’ve seen on a house? I think I've seen a pink house before?
Don’t you hate the texture of lotion on your skin? Yes.
What’s the prettiest cat you have seen? There's this brown British Longhair with beautiful green eyes that I adore on social media. Name's Smoothie.
What is your favorite doughnut? Chocolate frosted or glazed.
Do you have a hot tub? If so, where is it located? No.
What is your favorite party game? Man, I don't even know popular party games, haha.
Do you or your parents rake your yard? Neither of us do. No matter where we've lived, ever since Dad left, no one rakes.
Do you buy drugstore make-up or high-end make-up? We always buy drugstore makeup.
What’s the last good love story you read? I don't think I've read a love story since The Notebook.
Do you own a lava lamp or disco ball? No, but I wish I had a lava lamp.
When was the last time you went to the roller rink? It's been many years.
Do you own a kaleidoscope? No. I did as a kid, though.
Have you ever made an inspiration board for your room? No, but I absolutely plan to once I get a big enough board to hang on the wall, and my "office" is cleaned out. I want that room to be full of motivation.
Who is the best-looking male celebrity? Take a wild guess.
Where would you like to travel to next? Yellowstone. I want to spread Teddy's ashes there in an area with wolves to rest in his roots. Less importantly, I want to take looooooaaaaaaaddddddsssss of photographs.
Where are three places you go to relax? Just my room, really.
If you became famous, would you change your name to something exotic? No.
What color is your favorite pair of shorts? I don't wear shorts, ever.
List five items on your current wardrobe wish list. I've wanted a black, studded leather jacket since I was in high school. I also really want big, spiked leather boots, too. Then there's tons of band tees I want.
Who makes great song covers on YouTube? JONATHAN YOUNG!!!!!!! GO!!!!!!!!! LISTEN TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!!
Who is one of the best songwriters? Otep Shamaya.
Painting or drawing? I strongly prefer drawing.
Painting that shows brushstrokes or painting that looks like a photograph? The latter. The former can be quite stylistic, though.
First thing you wash in the shower? My hair, but if you mean my actual body, my chest.
Brown or white egg? I don't even know the flavor difference.
Favorite time of year? October-December.
Do you own a gun? I legally can't due to a suicidal history.
Have you ever been in a castle? Excluding the Disney World castle, no.
Are you a clingy person when it comes to relationships? I honestly am.
Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean, I've had hickeys before.
Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes.
If you found a baby randomly by itself what would you do? Call the cops and stay with it until they arrived.
What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? I'd rather not repeat it.
When was the last time you wished time would move faster? Literally every waking moment of my life. It's so sad, thinking about it. I'm just rushing my life away.
Are there any owls in your room (as decor, of course)? No.
If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara.
Do you enjoy hearing birds chirp? I do.
Have you ever hiked a mountain? No.
Where did you meet your first crush? School.
Who is your favorite little girl? My sweetheart niece.
What is your favorite song by the last band you listened to? Oh boy, don't make me pick.
Does your best friend have kids? No; she doesn't want any, either.
Where did you go the last time you drove for longer than an hour? The beach, I think.
If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl.
How often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? Rarely, but every now and again.
Who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? Mufasa.
What junk food can you never pass up? Donuts came to mind first. But I think that's because I'm craving donuts, haha.
Have you ever had a UTI? Yeah, multiple. I don't drink nearly enough water. I've had one so bad my kidneys hurt like a bitch.
What's the last color you dyed your hair? Red.
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YouTuber!Yoongi X NailTechnician!Y/N
Title: Fingernail Cocktails!
Genre: fluff, humour, youtuber!yoongi, nailtech!y/n, kind!y/n, panicked!yoongi, nail salon adventures, stupid brain.
Word Count: 1.1
Summary: “Hi! Welcome to Fingernail Cocktails! Are you here for an appointment or is there something else you need..? You- oh! You want my number?-”
Warnings/Rating: a bit of swearing! | PG 13
Notes: hi! So I thought if this story and I was like “wow I really need to write this down! So I did. I hope you enjoy because I really enjoyed writing this! I’ll probably make a sequel to this but we’ll see.... also, please don’t mind the title....I might change it, but I was just looking for something that rhymes with fingernails....soo. Please keep in mind that this (and the BTS drabbles that I will write in the future) are works of fiction and are not meant to be seen as anything other than that. This story/post is not meant to portray the people in it or their characteristics, emotions, personality and mannerisms. Sorry this is so short.. but other than that, enjoy! ^^ (also if you could tell me if there are any mistakes or anything, it would be greatly appreciated..!)
The strong smell of chemicals attack Yoongi’s nose immediately, as soon as he has the glass door to the nail salon open. It makes him feel a little bit lightheaded, if he’s being totally honest.
You see, he’s not used to this sort of thing, and he’s feeling a bit nervous, due to not doing enough research on what mysteries lie inside a nail salon.
He’s a YouTuber, for fuck sake, he should have at least known he’d be outside a nail salon at one point in his career. At least it’s not for acrylic nails, those things look like they’d cut you in half.
Before stepping completely inside the open door, he checks the stickers stuck to the glass. A price list, he figures. He has more than enough money with him, after all they’re only going to be painting his nails with some cheap, scrappy paint worth-
He doesn’t even want to be here and yet he’s spending more than he spends on his meals for a three days on a cheap manicure that will probably only last two days!
Hell to the frickin’ no.
Yoongi decides he’s not going to stand for these bullshit prices and walks through the glass door and right up to the vacant front desk, ignoring the dirty looks he gets thrown his way from a few other customers for having disturbed their nail painting sessions, an aura of power around him when he slams a palm down onto the flat surface.
Suddenly, a head pops up from over the top of the desk, figure straightening their clothes and drawing up to their full height, a kind smile on their face.
“Hi! Welcome Fingernail Cocktails!”, you chirp in your best customer service voice to the frozen man on front of you, “do you have an appointment? Or is there something else you need...?”
Your number, Yoongi’s brain supplies.
That’s real helpful, brain, thanks.
(He decides to just not acknowledge the name of the salon he’s currently in, though his mind wanders to some of the delicious cocktails he’s had throughout his life-)
“Uhhh”, the man standing on front of the desk looks awfully familiar, maybe you’ve seen him on TV...! Oh! Is he famous!?, “my names Min Yoongi, I, uh, I’m booked in for a manicure...?”
Yoongi can see you looking at him so he rushes to explain himself.
“I just need it ‘cause some of my viewers were yelling about my hands and nails looking weird and I guess yeah, it’s not that nice looking at raw bitten nails when you’re trying to watch an unboxing so, I kinda get it but-“
You cut him off, trying reassure him.
“Oh! I wasn’t judging you! We get quite a few male customers here, I was just trying to see where I recognised you from, but you’ve said something about unboxing videos, and yeah you said your name before so it should’ve been obvious but-oh god I’m rambling... so, you’re here for a manicure, yes?”
You try to save yourself before you look like more of a fool on front of such a popular YouTuber, switching back to being professional and trying not to squeal in awe.
You’ve seen quite a few of Min Yoongi’s, alias Min Suga, videos about him unboxing and reviewing a few top brand nail products that people like Rihanna, Britney Spears and even Celine Dion have sent him to unbox and review.
Yoongi is still in awe, unmoving as you ask something through your pretty pink lips, your beautiful voice forming words he’s not even taking in. He just stays there, still, listening to the sound of your voice.
He’s always been a bit of a hopeless romantic, but would it really be a terrible thing to ask if he could just have your number? Cute good morning texts, beautiful walks on the beach, meme sent to each other on the daily. Is that really too much to ask for? Is it realLY-
Your voice snaps Yoongi out of his daydream.
“Yes! Manicure! Let’s go!”
He lets you lead the way over to some sort of desk, piled high with nail polishes and other things, completely forgetting about the crazy prices he was meant to protest about.
“So, all you have to do now is pop your hands into the UV nail dryer, wait for the clear coat to dry, and the your outta here!”, you explain to Yoongi the process that going to happen, already having filed down his nails, shaped them and took care of his cuticles.
Yoongi would be happy that the process went by quick and painful (though that spiny thing you used to drill down his nails was quite scary...) but there’s just one problem.
He doesn’t have your number yet.
He can’t possibly leave without your number.
And yes, he knows he’s being dramatic because there’s plenty of other fish in the sea, but to him, there will never be another fish like you in this treacherous sea. Yoongi believes in love at first sight and when he first saw you, it was like all the chemicals that were aggressively raging war on his nostrils suddenly disappeared, because as cute as comparing eye contact to fireworks is, it’s not safe indoors so.
You didn’t make fun of him when he flinched when you started to file his nails down nor did you treat him like he was different because he was a YouTuber. Yoongi feels secure with you and he’s really like to keep that feeling for the rest of his life, especially if you’re by his side.
He tries to think, trying to reach back far into his memory for any smooth pick up lines, watching the timer on the UV lamp go down, Yoongi getting increasingly more panicked by the second.
Could I, em,
Have your uhhh,
“Now you’re all finished!”, you take his hand gently out from under the UV lamp, wiping down his hands before gesturing to him to follow you back to the front desk.
“So, your total today will be...”, you calculate all of his purchases together, coming to a total, “$47.84!”
He pays you, looking a little glum you can’t help but notice, and you get the machine to print out his receipt.
Yoongi hasn’t asked for your number yet.
You coward, supplies his brain..
Thanks brain, thanks a lot.
He watches as you print out his receipt, scribbling something down in blue ink before handing it back to him, bidding him goodbye and wishing him a good rest of his day with that big, beautiful smile of yours.
Yoongi leaves, with a last look over his shoulder, staring longing as you smile to the rest of the customers in the shop.
It’s not until he’s seated in his car that he realises he forgot to bring up the outrageous prices. He takes the crumpled up receipt out of his pocket, searching for the total, when something scrawled in neat, blue ink catches his eye.
Call me! ^3^
- Y/N (AKA, the beautiful nail tech)
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Cutting A Deep Slot In Wood
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wood Chipper
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wooden
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wood Lathe
Keyhole slots are a great way to hang a picture or plaque on a wall and are cut using a router and a keyhole bit. Learn how to set up your router and cut a keyhole slot.
Place the wood in the miter box with the cut mark lined up with the appropriate slot for the angle, or for a straight cut. Place the saw blade in the slots and line it up with the mark. Cutting deep tight slots can be problematic for this type of cutter sometimes. – Compression: A compression cut is a combination of upcut and downcut. It has the spiral set to pull up at the bottom of the material, then it reverses direction at the top. One approach is to cut a 1⁄8'-wide × 3⁄8'-deep groove on the tablesaw before attaching the table legs. Alternatively, cut the slots after assembly with a biscuit joiner set for a #20 biscuit or with a router outfitted with a 3⁄8'-deep slot-cutting bit and bearing (Photo D). When woodworking plans call for cutting curves in thick stock, typically the tool of choice is the band saw. Band saws can be easily adjusted to accommodate most thicknesses of stock, and the blade stays straight throughout the cut (a challenge when cutting thick stock with some other tools).
I’m working on a new woodworking project that involved cutting through-slots for bolts in a couple of boards. The two boards will act as adjustable arms to hold a dowel handle for a garden cart.
I have cut shorter and narrower slots using a table-mounted router for a coin bank. These bolt slots were considerably longer and 1/4' wide so I was reluctant to use the same technique. I don’t have a plunge router – which would probably be the fastest and easiest way to do this.
After checking a couple of woodworking forums for ideas – including one where someone trying this on a router table said the board 'shattered' (yikes!) – the general consensus seemed to be todrill out most of the material and clean up the slot later with a coping saw.
That sounded good (and safe) to me.
Since my slot was only 1/4' wide, I decided best approach was to use a 1/4' Forstner bit in a drill press to define the slot and remove most of the material, then clean up the slot with a file and sandpaper.
The shaft on the 1/4' bit was larger than the bit itself so I had to flip the board over to drill all the way through the 3/4' material. It’s probably a good idea to do this anyway to avoid tear-out unless you have a backer board underneath when you’re drilling.
What to do
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wood Chipper
Mark the centre points for each end of the slot in the blank and use a nail or awl to punch a small hole for orienting the bit.
Set up the drill press with a Forstner bit the same size as the slot you’re cutting. You’ll need to attach a fence to the drill press table to maintain a straight line as you drill along the length.
Place the blank against the fence and lower the bit. Adjust the fence and blank so the point of the Forstner bit enters the small punched hole. Clamp the fence in place, slide the blank to the mark at the other end of the slot and check that it’s aligned properly.
Put a mark on the edge of the board that’s against the fence. Keep this edge against the fence when you flip the board over and drill the other side. This ensures the holes are in line even if your a hair off centre of the board.
Turn on the drill press and drill the each end hole to define the slot – drilling about two-thirds to three-quarters of the way through the board. After that, just keep drilling holes and moving the work piece along the fence, overlapping holes just enough to keep point of the bit entering new wood. The slot will fill up with shavings which you should clear out if they get in the way.
Once you’ve drilled the length of the slot, clean it out with a screw driver or something similar. Flip the board over (keeping the same edge against the fence).
Repeat the process starting with the end holes. It doesn’t matter which direction you work in.
A COUPLE OF NOTES:
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wooden
If you’re making a wider slot, you may want to make an additional pass to remove the 'peaks' between holes.
If you have a mortising chisel & bit you could swap that in once you’ve drilled the end holes.
Cleaning up the slot
After the drilling is complete, clean out the shavings with an awl or small screwdriver.
Clamp the work piece on edge to your bench and use a flat file to remove the high points left between the drilled holes being careful not to hit the rounded ends of the slots.
Wrap a small piece of sandpaper around a drill bit (smaller than the slot) to sand the ends of the slot.
After filing off most of the rough surfaces in the slot, wrap some sandpaper around the file and use it to finish cleaning up the slot.
Cutting A Deep Slot In Wood Lathe
If the slots were 1/2” wide or more, I probably would have used a jigsaw and straightedge to clean up the slots before sanding.
Can you also do a scenario for Levi with Hanahaki disease?
I haven’t written a scenario for Levi since 2018 and this is what I come back with. Um...I’m so sorry. Angst is my forte and it’s easy for me to write, so...yikes. I also listened to drivers’ license on repeat to set the ambiance for this piece and now I’m sad, lol. Sorry! Maybe I’ll write something happier for Levi to make up for this one, lmao. Enjoy!
It was happening again.
The tightness in your chest constricted your lungs like a snake had coiled around the base of your throat and squeezed, cutting off the air to your lungs. Your head spun, black dotting across your vision, and the uncontrollable urge to cough itched in the back of your throat. You had to hold it down. ‘Please, not here,’ you mentally begged to any entity listening above the skyline to not expose your dirtiest, darkest secret to your colleagues. Your nails dug into the wooden table, leaving behind crescent-shaped marks in the cherry-colored lacquer and the color drained from your cheeks.
No one would notice your struggle if you kept it together, you reasoned. Hange was going over something about Marley and you had, admittedly, tuned out about thirty minutes ago. Whatever it was had to be important because they had everyone’s attention, to your knowledge. Out of the corner of your eye, you were vaguely aware of Levi’s sharp, piercing gaze lingering on your face, but you squeezed your eyes shut and internally begged him to just look away.
Inside of your chest, the flower that bloomed burned like a kindling ember, the stems brushing against your lungs and taking up space you needed to breathe. Experiencing this was painful, but it was nothing like the white-hot agony you felt whenever you realized that the person you loved would never return your feelings.
You had tried to let go—had tried to release your feelings and live with your fragmented heart—but nothing had worked. How could it when the person whose affections you desperately wanted worked alongside you every day, helping and caring about you in his own awkward, weird way? It wasn’t fucking fair that you had to live like this.
Except you didn’t. You knew about the removal process and, as a soldier, you knew that it was what you needed to do for yourself, for the future and for humanity. Every time you thought about getting the surgery performed, the aching of your fragile heart—the singular bloom of hope still lingering in the pit of your stomach—protested against the idea. You had never felt this way for anyone before in your life; how could you just ignore that and have the flower removed? How could you forget about happiness that the feelings gave you, or how it felt to just be by his side in silence of the night?
Living with this flower growing inside of you was painful, but the thought of having to give up Levi Ackerman was excruciating.
“That’s all I wanted to talk about today! If everyone could follow me, I want to discuss some improvements to the thunder spears I’ve been working on…” Hange’s voice flooded through your reverie, snapping you back to reality. Your knuckles were stark-white from the tight grip you had about the wooden table, your fingers easing from the leg once the feeling of having to cough seemingly passed.
As the group shuffled out of the room, there was one person who waited—one person whose unreadable facial expression made you tense up where you sat. “Four-eyes was that boring?” his flat voice drawled and, even without looking up, you knew his slate-colored irises were glued to where you sat. It had you anxious, the sensation of having to cough flaring up in the back of your throat once more. Instead of answering verbally, you shook your head and prayed that Levi would take the hint that you wanted to be alone. The sound of his shoes reverberating off the flooring allowed the tension you had been holding between your shoulders to dissipate, a wave of relief washing across your body. You were finally alone to cough in peace.
The instant you opened your lips to try and draw in a shaky breath, it began. A powerful cough strangled your breathing, the sensation of something lodged deep inside the back of your throat causing your body to lurch forward. Tears pricked your eyes as your coughing turned into violent dry heaving, the wheeze from your lungs desperately trying to push out the planet inside of your body echoing throughout the room. Hange and rest of the Survey Corps’ higher ups were probably in the weapons room by now, leaving you alone to your own suffering. Your fingertips dug into the stone flooring, your sputtering finally expelling the first fist-full of bright-blue, blood-slicked flowers from deep within your chest. Once it began, it didn’t stop. Over and over again, you threw up the bright flowers, their beauty tainted with the crimson blood dribbling from each and every petal.
At some point, you became aware of a hand resting against your back, dread serving as an anchor tethering you to where you knelt on the floor. When your gagging calmed down, you sharply sucked air in through your teeth, desperate to catch your breath and stop the feeling of your head swimming. You knew you were covered in spit, blood, and forget-me-not petals, but you didn’t care about your physical appearance. The person at your side didn’t have to speak—you already knew who was at your side.
“Please,” you croaked, voice husky and hoarse from having just coughed up over a dozen flowers in one go, “don’t say anything. Please, Levi.”
“You want me to sit back and watch you kill yourself?” came his blunt remark, much to your dismay. He wasn’t going to let it go; of course he wasn’t. The two of you had been together for a decade at this point and the worry that he felt for you buzzed through the air like electricity.
Your wild eyes met his taciturn expression, tears streaking down your face. “I don’t want to talk about this. Why did you even come back in here?”
“If you were hiding this, you did a shit job. You acted weird throughout the meeting. How long?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
Levi clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth. “Is that something you could be saying?” He was quiet, gaze flickering to the pool of flowers on the ground before tentatively bringing up in a quiet tone that was almost uncharacteristic of him, “You’re dying, and you didn’t say anything. Were you just going to lie down and not fight this?”
A laugh bubbled from the back of your throat, disbelief written across your face. Pushing off the floor, you sat back on your knees. “I don’t want to have the surgery.”
“…That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard you say.” Levi brought himself to his feet, hands brushing off the imaginary dust that clung to his clothing. Without much warning, his hand hooked around your arm and hoisted you up, his strength guiding you towards the door. “You want to die? Then do it under someone else’s watch.”
“Let go,” you demanded, yanking your arm away from his grip. Frustration simmered inside of your veins, your hurt and anguish for this man finally spilling out in one fell swoop. Hot, fresh tears gushed from your eyes, yet you made no move to conceal them. Your heart was, for the first time in over ten years, on display for Levi to see and the fear of his rejection wasn’t enough for you to keep your silence any longer. “You don’t get to dictate what I can and can’t do! So what if I don’t want the surgery? So what if I’m being stupid? Even though I’m like this, I can’t let go! So, what am I supposed to do, Levi?”
The raven-haired male was silent for a moment, drinking in your broken features with a glint of concern etched into his body language. It was faint and difficult to see, but you knew him like the back of your hand; it was easy to tell and see what he was thinking, at this point. His lack of response prompted you to shake your head, your voice small and as fragile as splintered glass as you asked, “Is there really no way you’d love me back? Am I putting myself through hell for nothing?”
Levi was tight-lipped, body tense and unmoving as he continued to study you. Desperate, you latched onto the sleeves of his jacket, voice thick with tears. “I fucking love you, Levi. If there’s even a chance for you to feel the same, please tell me.”
A long, drawn out pause filled the air until Levi’s fingertips—calloused from years of training and fighting—uncurled your hands from his frame, features pressed into the same, apathetic expression you were so used to him wearing. “Get the surgery,” he said firmly, his singular sentence tearing you asunder from the inside out. Your face crumpled, the flower inside of your chest throbbing painfully at the notion that he would never love you back.
No matter how much you wanted him, Levi Ackerman wasn’t in love with you.
“I’m telling Hange when I walk out this door. Once it’s over, things can…go back to the way they were.” Helplessly, you watched Levi exit the room, missing the way his features twisted in misery as he listened to you collapse into yourself, your sobbing playing again and again inside of his head.
How could he promise you something when everyone he ever loved withered and died underneath his touch? You were too precious to lose, even if it killed him in the end.
Inside of his chest, a familiar burn pulsated, the urge to cough becoming more and more difficult to ignore even as his legs carried him down the hall.
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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 32
💖 first time reader click here 💖
Summary: Stephen Strange being a grown-up. Reader being a grown-up. Kind of. Revenge plot starts now - don't be like the mercenary, don't threaten reader's family. Avengers being good.. bros? Good found family idk. More smut + plot coming soon.
The silence hung awkwardly over us. Stephen wasn't the one to wax poetics, usually, and I wasn't in the mood to do anything but curl up somewhere warm, chug a bottle of liquor and fall asleep. Sleep is like death without the committment and after my little outburst, I inwardly prayed and begged for the ground to open up and swallow me whole. Instead, I was directed to sit and drink my tea by the sorcerer, who, by the way, was beginning to look like a kicked puppy.
It was starting to become unbearable. "I'm listening," I finally croaked out, shocked at how raspy my voice sounded. As if someone had forced me to choke on some nails - and I felt like it, too. My hands were shaking, all but spilling the hot tea onto them.
"Princess..." His mouth did the thing when he was worried, lips pursed, their corners upturned. "What we did was not... Right, you were drugged without your consent. I am sure Tony feels the same way."
My eyebrows rose, words bubbling up to the surface as I fought the urge to simply start calling Stephen some strong names. Had he been blind the whole time I flirted with him, had he not seen both me and Tony ogling him when we thought nobody could see? Every time I joked about the sexual tension between them - you know what they say, every joke has a little bit of truth in it.
Or maybe the sorcerer had used the incident as a convenient excuse for our little fuck-fest to be a one-time thing? I expected more, I won't lie, but I wouldn't put it above him. I knew all too well that some men tended to simply... Avoid.
I was angry, probably rightfully so, but it was not the time for me to comfort an adult man. My own life was going to shit, I had no mental energy to unburden his baseless guilt. It was selfish and it made me feel even more like shit, but it was as if someone had flipped a switch inside of me. I just didn't care about someone's heartbreak. I needed to solve another problem, a much bigger than a man that couldn't make up his mind.
I had to find that damn mercenary. It was the only real threat hanging over our heads; unlike any mission that I've seen the team go on before, they had thrown all the forces into catching the man that had gotten into their safe space, their home. That threatened to take what they thought as theirs. Long gone were the days of comfortable domesticity.
"Okay," I replied, nodding curtly. "I wanted it, if it helps any. I thought you were attractive the first day I saw you." I spoke bluntly, beginning to feel like myself more and more with each word that I spoke. "And again, no strings have to be attached. I'm sure Tony will understand it too, it's not his first rodeo."
Stephen's head shot up from where he was examining his clasped hands, to study me with furrowed brows. Cloaky moved where it was wrapped around me, attracting the sorcerer's attention - I, unfortunately, did not understand the Cloak's sign language and what it told Stephen remained a mystery to me. I was just delighted to be out of the cold and and wet clothes.
"I think you misunderstood me," Stephen eyed me with surprise. "I want more, but..." He trailed off, unsure. "I don't know. I'm surprised Banner hasn't gone green on me yet. I'm a doctor, I should have known..."
So, he was pulling a me and wallowing in pity. Is this really how pathetic I looked when I used to mope around the house earlier? No wonder my mother thinks I'm a baby. "Stephen, I'm really not in the mood to listen to bullshit. I wanted it, you wanted it, great, we can move on. Because with everything that has happened to me, I really have no energy to convince you I like you even while sober when you're sabotaging yourself." Sure, I might have ripped off the motivational speech from a self-help book my mother used to have laying around. My patience was wearing thinner with each second. "There, I said it. I like you, my boyfriends like you, you're welcome to the club if you decide to believe the fact that I am telling the truth." And if he wouldn't, well, I could get over it. I was planning to never act upon my feelings for both Tony and Bruce, it hadn't been as hard as I thought it would be. Especially with me being busy enough to just ignore the feelings.
At some point, I had grown attached to Stephen. Perhaps, if I and Tony hadn't decided to mess around with the sorcerer at the party, my feelings wouldn't have bloomed into anything more than physical attraction. Murphy's law had a particularly strong affinity on me, I noticed, because over and over I found myself falling head over heels for emotionally unavailable men. It worked out with Tony, which wasn't as surprising as one might expect, considering we're two halves of a whole idiot, but then Bruce also decided to pucker up - Stephen was bound to be the rock that I trip on.
Or not? Soft lips pressed against my forehead, beard hair softly tickling the tip of my nose. I was pressed against a solid chest, surrounded by warmth and comfort. "I'm sorry, I'm an idiot," Steph whispered, voice quivering.
"Well, it's not like this... Relationship... I've got going on is something commonplace," My arms wrapped around him, a deep sigh relaxing my body into his. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. It wasn't right."
Stephen chuckled, all but pulling me bodily into his lap. "Don't worry, Princess. I deserved it." As he spoke, the Cloak carefully unwrapped itself from me, drifting away with a parting pat on my back. "Now what happened with your parents?" Large palms pushed the hair out of my face, stormy blue eyes looking at me with worry.
"I should probably assemble all my significant others for this conversation," There was little enthusiasm in discussing the incident. I was an adult and had enough money to get by for a few months, at least until I could patent one of my inventions. I had plenty of knick-knacks that should be able to interest buyers, that much I knew, and while the legal side of the process was a blank slate to me, I knew I could be charismatic enough to have someone work it out for me.
"I don't think I'll be able to take Steve seriously when he says 'assemble', now," My third boyfriend chuckled, which - wow, I didn't have boyfriends and now I had three? Should I be considering opening a factory or something? Stephen adjusted his hold on me. "Let's go, I'll portal us in."
"My car's out there with all my stuff. I'll have to drive," I protested but made no move to get out of his lap.
"Tony is a billionaire, he can pay someone to retrieve it," Shrugging carelessly, he produced a golden circle of magic, the common room couch in plain sight at the other side of it. I heard voices and then Clint's head peaked through, a curiously tilted eyebrow morphing into full fledged face of confusion upon seeing the two of us.
Yikes. I had forgotten about the state of my dress and the bruise on my cheek. "Hey, bird. I need a drink," I said the first thing that popped into my mind, causing both Clint and Steph to laugh as the sorcerer carried me into the tower through the portal.
"I'm starting to think you go out there and look for trouble on purpose," The archer sighed, pulling out his phone and texting rapidly. Mine vibrated, too, once he was done, which meant he'd called for a family meeting. Blergh.
In no time, Tony appeared, dark circles under his eyes and yesterday's shirt on, towing a worried Bruce behind him. One after the other, the Avengers tickled in, looking restless and exhausted. Loki's frown was well on its way to becoming a full sneer.
"Talk, please," He requested, eyeing me with concern.
"Good news is I got our rogue wizard back," I poked Stephen in the chest. He was blushing. "Bad news is my mother threw me out and my father didn't pick up the phone, so technically I'm homeless and parent-less," I decided that spitting out straight facts was the easiest way to go about it. I mean, there was no good way to tell what I just told them.
The storm that I anticipated didn't appear. Just a lot of disappointed sighs all around, especially from Tony, who looked twenty years older after I'd confessed to the current state of my affairs. "You're not homeless, you live here," He pointed out, rubbing his face and muttering some very strong words under his nose. Particularly, the expressions involved my mother and various methods of fornication.
"We got your back, doll," Bucky nodded, coming over to wrap me in a gentle hug. He was like a brother from another mother to me at this point, kind and goofy and sensible. "I would propose to teaching that harpy a lesson but I think she's beyond it."
"Perhaps it's for the best," Loki mused suddenly. "If I recall correctly, your mother was against your career of choice, which is idiotic. Science is a noble and prospective path." The Asgardian, too, gave me a hug.
I wasn't crying! There were ninjas, in the vents, cutting onions! "Stop it guys, I'm gonna cry. I already look like shit!" The protest was silenced by Bruce's lips on mine, his tiny smile briefly covering my mouth with tenderness. After that, everybody somehow decided it was their job to try and make me cry; like a bad bitch, I resisted, but eventually broke and started sniffling when Tony began rambling about building me my own lab and Wanda offered to help me decorate my new apartment.
No matter how much my mind screamed at me to refuse, I forced that noise down. Fighting against myself, accepting help despite feeling unworthy of it - it was probably the hardest thing I've done in my whole life.
Bruce volunteered to carry my prone body to Tony's bedroom which was quickly becoming the master bedroom for the three of us - ever since the incident, both of my scientists stuck close to me whenever possible, aggressively cuddling me whenever they decided it was time to get some sleep. Which wasn't much these days, if I was being honest. Persuading Bruce to stay with me was a novelty - usually he didn't resist, but that time, I had to repeat myself multiple times that the team could handle business even without him being present.
I had my ulterior motives, of course. Tony and Stephen needed to talk. I only hoped their egos wouldn't clash without me to mediate - having two boyfriends start a fight wasn't something I wanted to experience. I had zero experience in those matters and had no idea how to manage all that. Are there handbooks for polyamorous relationships? I stuck a mental post-it note inside my brain to check it out.
I fell asleep with Bruce wrapped around me and woke up in the same position, having been too exhausted to move even in my sleep. Voices, rough and quiet, were the first thing I heard upon syncing my brain into a resemblance of a working order, instantly recognizing Stephen's deep baritone and Tony's teasing drawl.
"Expect either Reindeer Games or Kim Possible to come and terrify you," My engineer didn't sound particularly ecstatic. His voice came from somewhere around my feet; the hand wrapped around my ankle, thumb gently stroking the skin, must've been his.
"Duly noted," Stephen's reply was equally sarcastic, sounding a little closer. The warmth coming from my side was him. I could smell the faint spices that surrounded him, smell that I'd come to associate with the Sanctum.
Bruce snored away, not a care in the world.
My body, on the other hand, felt rested for what felt the first time in years. A pleasant ache in my muscles had me begrudgingly squirm out of Banner'd grasp, shamelessly pushing up into Stephen as I stretched with a juicy yawn. "What's poppin'?" I rubbed my eyes, finding the men awake looking at me with fond amusement.
"Just watching," Tony smiled, causing me to giggle at his accidental meme-ing. Was it even accidental? I refused to believe that a man well versed in IT was oblivious to meme culture.
Stephen, on the other hand... "We've discussed some things, wanted to talk to you too." His hand stroked my hair, face expression soft unlike anything I'd ever seen him have. "But you were sleeping. So cute."
Me, cute? There was a puddle of drool the size of a dollar bill on my pillow, I was pretty sure some of it had even gotten in Bruce's hair. Banner's sleep was quiet except for every five minutes when he'd let out a snore with a force somewhere between a Mack truck and a whale in mating season.
Bruce groaned, a tell-tale sign of him waking up. I met his eyes, brown, shiny, a narrow edge of green around his irises. Huh. Do I have three boyfriends or four?
THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @sleep-i-ness @capbrie @lillsxd @agustdowney @dee-vn @justanotherblonde23 @fanngirl19 @persephonehemingway @softie-socks @schemefrenzy @letsby @romeo-the-cactus @jelly-fishy-babie @mikariell95 @gladiosamicitias
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hi babe, hope you slept well.. ♥️
answering on the phone is just *takes screenshots* *opens tumblr app* *switch between screenshots and answering* do you also put on my messages on the laptop and answering with your phone usually, because that’s what i do lmao sjshdks. thank god for technology.
(I LOVE BEING CALLED BRO.. i believe that i would’ve been a dudebro in another life tbh..) there is? i’m not super immersed in the fandom actually so i had no idea, do you have any examples? ofc only if you wanna talk about it i know these topics can sometimes be annoying to think about. also you’re right! ‘don’t like don’t read’ is the law. follow it. i can’t believe how some people have the nerve to talk about what other people do creatively... yikes
you should if you ever find yourself not knowing what to read! i think their fics were some of my first in the fandom and they set the bar so high hehe. dude i love how oikawa just wants to see kageyama burn it’s so funny..... he’s so cocky about it while kageyama’s just his moody self. speaking of; one of my fave fics of yours is the swapping jerseys one!
WTF 😭 BABY POOLS AND POOL FLOATIES..... razor please come back to us please. sidenote but do you also think that his powers are 5 star level? hes soo powerful it’s so odd how he’s only 4 star haha... or maybe it’s just me being biased.
YEAH! THE SAVING SCENE IS SO AHHHHH. god especially if they have dialogue while person a is hurting and person b just spills all their feelings and becomes so erratic and scared and person a is like holy shit you love me.... and after everything is okay there’s still some awkwardness and tension and aaa.... 💢💔
OOO. sadly the ps5 is always out of stock it’s crazy how fast it sold out. but i mean it makes sense it’s arguably the most popular console so.. hopefully they restock soon. last of us is such a fun game! and the second part is ~gay~ which is always a plus. i’m not sure which memes you mean? tell me 👁 HAHA that makes sense actually omg... lumine and aether reunion won’t happen until like two years if the updates keep coming the way they are (STOP THAT WOULD ACTUALLY BE SO FUNNY.... like hello if you want to unlock the rest of the story you either gacha $pin for it or you imagine it yourself love ♥️😗) talking about this makes me wonder what the other worlds might look like....
your followers are just here to witness us planning our co-op date sjsjdkdjskz. speaking of,,, hehe. i have some fantastic news. i’m at ar level 11 right now and co-op unlocks at level 16... i might just reach that tomorrow (today for you) so i’m just saying hehehehehehehehehehehe.... 😏♥️
BOWL CUT. my cutie little baby. also mullet? sounds nice omg you will probably rock that look... 😳 i’m a non mullet supporter but if cluna has a mullet then call me a yeehaw mullet lover i suppose. can’t believe my wife is a cowboy. OMG YEAH IT MUST FEEL SO NICE your head went bzz bzz. how long did it take for them to accept it? and yeah god ikr some people take hair so seriously which is fair but also i’ve never understood it... like it grows out..? wow you really went from a ballet girl to punk rock style huh. i feel like you’re the both sides of the ‘she was a punk she did ballet’ meme.
memo fic is a jealous fic? mmm smells good. I FIGURED jshdjdkhsjs slow songs are just not your forte, huh? rip. langst is the best yet worst thing ever tbh. and YEAH I DO we’re truly 🤝 ok literally mood sometimes it’s just nice to talk about how much you love a character through another character in a fic yk? so what if this 2k fic contains 1k words about how beautiful oikawa looks? it’s what iwa feels <3 (YOU’RE LEARNING!!!!!!! THATS SO EXCITING!! i guess you just have to drive me around, huh?)
oh i’m in love i’m with that fic my girl. and i knew about that spoiler it’s kind of hard to miss it since it’s everywhere skdhdkdhdk... god, that sounds so good thank you for sharing it. pining iwaizumi hajime >>>>>>>> the air i need to exist 🥺 ￼
THE DAY IS SO SOON CLUNA, it’s literally here soooo soon holy shit i just can’t wait. i played for almost 6 hours today in a row like an idiot and now i never wanna see hilichurls again in my life but hey, one step closer to my baby. prepare yourself.. 😏
AWWW i had a feeling you’d be a tea person. but omg tea effects your sleep? how late is too late for you to drink it? what’s your favorite flavors? 👁 and i’m addicted to both shdkdhsks. i say addicted bc i literally have 6 cups of tea per day easily and like.. 1 or 2 coffee cups per day. it’s really bad but i can’t stop so.. 🙇🏽♀️
COLLEGE BOYFIES CLUNA. COLLEGE BOYFIES WITH DIP DYE HAIR. imagine them doing each other’s make up and nails before going to concerts together. imagine xiao in euphoria kind of make up. holy shit. here’s something for your overwhelmed heart jsdhjshska. xiaoven soulmates girl, no doubt about it. THE EDIT THE EDIT THE EDIT!!!! they just look so beautiful. we need scenes with them like Asap. the edit is based on a fic... notes down.
can’t wait to see your screenshots. super excited!!
xo, m.a. (i almost wrote my name down in a haste shshskdjdk... although you’ll find it out soon...)
hiya!! i slept alright~ ahaha
:o that’s smart! but no i don’t LOL whether i’m on my phone or my laptop i just continuously scroll up and down fhdskjfkhsdf i think that’s why i come close to missing some paragraphs some times oops. yay for the ~wonders of technology~
(AIGHT NICE AHAHHA fhsdkjfsh does that mean you’re a bit of a tomboy?) actually coincidentally i came across this thread: https://twitter.com/maxatsuomi/status/1350145589296685057 which gives you an idea lmao (also some things on there i wasn’t even aware of wtf) EXACTLY??? it’s even worse when non content creators try to come for content creators like?????????/ um you’re getting all this food for FREE and yet?????? lmfao the nerve of some people
i def will!! FKJSHFDSKJ yeah that do be their dynamic lolol. and thank you!! i too think i snapped on that one 😩😩 glad others agree ahahah
i actually haven’t really seen him in combat... and when we could trial him i was too busy trying to pass the quests to focus on how he fought fhdkfhsdkfjshf but i do think his abilities are cool!! he have wolf above head 🥺
YEAHHH BOYEEEEEEEEEEE god that reminds me of a scene from a drarry fic (What We Pretend We Can't See wink wonk)
oh damn!! hope they restock soon for your sake~ yissss ive watched a playthrough and omg lev.... my Son. i don’t think i can find the memes again but it was just about the bugs like how if you throw a grenade on the highway everyone will run out of their cars like a flashmob or something hfskfhsdjfkds. (LMAOOOOO) there’s actually a trailer with the other worlds! https://youtu.be/TAlKhARUcoY (it has spoilers tho supposedly lol. none we understand rn at least)
hdsfkhjs. omg you absolute legend!!!! but i also hope that you’re taking care of yourself and prioritising the important things too fhsfhdksdhf. but i am excited hehehehehe
AHHAAHKFHDSKJFSD pls... once i saw someone with an actual proper mullet on the bus and i was like “ew... keith would look like this irl?” FJSDHKFSAHKDASHDFSDJFKJFDSHFKJS. but what can i say i got influenced by all the kpop bois 😔 and hmmm idk? i think my dad didn’t care too much but ik my mum did/does fhsfskfsdfhkf so who knows lollllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. IT REALLY DOES GROW OUT LMAO LIKE. fhkshkfsdkj my cousin called me a rockstar when she saw it LOL so you’re prob right 🤪
yeah slow songs really just. aren’t LMAO ‘behind this mask of mine’ was based on a slow bts song and i put it in the playlist i had for it (bc obviously) but i wanted to skip it every time hfksjdhfskjdfhskfdkfhkslfhadksfjsdjhfkashkfjsdh. EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!! you are so correct. (hehehe i was gonna say that too that you don’t need to drive bc it’ll take you around 😏 LMAO)
fhkdsj thank!! legit pining iwa.......... more like pining ME mayhaps i just be self projecting 🤪🤪
lolol dw i can fight the hilichurls for you 😩 also who’s your fave enemy to fight! i used to like fighting the treasure hoarders most but the hilichurls are cute.. FHSKJDHFSDFKJSD plus i need their fucking masks my god why are their drop rates so shit hfsdhjfks
i’m not too sure actually? i’ve never been up early enough to test it but i like drinking tea like after dinner... which is the problem AHAHA. hmm well i like matcha a lot LOL but also chai? and then like black tea.... all the other ones too... i used to drink some fruity ones which were nice but we have a lot of the like basic chinese ones at home too and i enjoy those as well lol. wbu?? omg.... m.a........... dfhksdfkjhfkjshfksjd that’s a lot!!!!!!! do you even need to drink water then HKDSJFHKSDFHDKDSHFJKSDH
omg............. ive never seen euphoria LOL but ............. omg ...................... i cannot process thoughts rn.....
xoxo!! c.r. (you mean bc we’ll be playing co-op? you don’t have to if you’re uncomfy fhdskjf my genshin name was literally ‘aether’ up until yesterday FHDFHSDKFSDFJSHFKSDF)
Another excerpt from upcoming Sporting Life chapter - Nothing Can Possibly Go Wrong
CW: Swearing, Abuse mention, Internalized Homophobia, Injury, Drinking, Child Abuse mention, Drinking mention.
please note that this does talk about trauma that both Akechi and Futaba have, so please keep that in mind as you read! it’s a little heavy. (if there is anything else you want me to tag, please let me know)
If one had to spare the details, Goro spent the next hour getting hammered on shitty vodka that tasted like candy. However, if one had a wealth of time on their hands, then the full story would reveal how he got drunk and a few more catalysts that would eventually add up to make the Worst Hangover Goro Akechi Would Get, Ever.
It really started as he pushed off the wall, leaving Haru behind in a sea of people that he didn't really like, marching into any other room he could find. Somehow, Makoto's restraining wasn't enough to keep Ann from the party, and she waved at him as she expertly carried out the maneuver for a physically perfect kegstand. Her girlfriend watched on in disgust, admiration, and quite possibly (but inexplicably) attraction.
"I'm very impressed. Mildly scared, but impressed." He said, watching Ann remove an arm and wave to someone in her gathering audience.
Makoto took a long gulp of her beer, and nodded dismally. "Tell me about it. I have to deal with this when the party's over."
The cheers reach a crescendo, and Ann, somehow coherent, did a little cartwheel onto her feet. "Yeah! Beat that, Iida-from-AP-chemistry!"
Iida-from-AP-chemistry did not, in fact, beat that.
Traipsing over to Makoto and Goro, Ann flicked her pigtails over her shoulder and scanned the linebacker's face with an eerie stare. "What's eating you?"
"Nothing is," He cleared his throat, encapsulating his next words with air quotes, "'eating me.'"
Shrugging, Ann made a noise of half-hearted agreement. "Fair enough, keep your cards close to your chest. Though some card games are played better with two, am I right?"
Makoto rolled her eyes as Ann's face shifted into a mischievous smirk. "Ann..."
"What, babe? I'm just trying to help things along for our dear Joker." She said, nuzzling her face into the crook of Makoto's neck like a tired cat.
Tired of her antics, Goro stormed through to the next room, the lights a different color than the others. It felt a little like walking through the layers of Hell. Still, he proceeded through all of them, looking for an empty one, taking a small bottle of alcohol as he went.
Finding another wall to slump against and brood, Goro watched the glistening pool in the Takamaki's back yard, taking off the bottle cap with his teeth. The look on Haru's face as he left, the sound of the quiet whimper of fear from Futaba as she sat outside his door when he was upset, the way he felt when Akira fucking Kurusu looked at him through his eyelashes, all of them felt like consecutive punches to the gut. Goro's head hit the back of the wall with a dull thud, and through the darkness of the room, he could see the reflection of the water on the ceiling.
After finishing off the bottle, Goro knew he should probably have given Futaba a message about how much fun he was not having. Futaba's chat icon stared up at him, a tiny cat in a frog hat, and the worst thing he could possibly think of doing was letting her hear his voice. He knew Shido didn't have an issue with alcohol, and he was more or less still coherent enough to pass as only slightly tipsy. It didn't help that on the night of his anniversaries with Wakaba and Goro's mother, Shido broke out the heavy bottles, and they sparkled like dangerous jewels behind the glass cabinet he kept locked. Slurring words and biting tones were all Futaba needed to hear to start shaking, twisting her shirt in her hands, and cowering away from any sharp movements. Goro had too many memories of applying bruise salve to her face, and on quite possibly the worst night of their lives, the dark, hand-shaped bruise that clasped around her neck.
So instead of calling his sister, Goro spared the pain and texted her.
"There you are." A voice called out, a tall silhouette standing in the doorway. "Was wondering where the introverts' room was."
Goro snorted, knocking back another bottle and leaving it by the other one. Checking again, he found that yes, there were two bottles there. How he got his hands on that other one was beyond him, but the fact he was actually inebriated really sunk in then.
Walking into the cold light reflected from the pool, Akira walked over to him, a can of beer in one hand and the other tucked into his pocket. "Can I join you?"
Waving his hand in indifference, Goro made a noncommittal noise. Sucking in a breath through his teeth, Akira crouched down next to him, poking his cheek.
"Yikes, you look like you could use some fresh air." He slid his shoulder underneath Goro's arm, pulling him to his feet. "There we go, up and at 'em, champ."
"Don't call me champ. It makes you sound old." Goro frowned, believing he could walk just fine without Akira's assistance, leaning away from him and opening the door to Ann's balcony.
Placing a hand between his shoulder blades, Akira hissed sharply. "Shit, be careful. We don't need any casualties at a Takamaki party."
Rolling Akira's hand off his back, the linebacker gave him a sour look. "I'm perfectly capable of moving without your assistance."
"Looks like you sobered up enough to be smart-mouthed." The dark-haired boy snorted.
Goro sighed, watching the rippling lines trace the underside of Akira's face, playing across his skin like liquid moonlight. His chest tightened painfully, and he looked away, instead choosing to run a hand through his hair. At one point, he was sure it was tied back, pulled out of his face, but it hung loose, just brushing his shoulders. Akira hummed a noise that Goro couldn't decipher the tone of.
"Your hair," He stated, "it's long."
Giving him a slow clap, Goro nodded. "Ever considered a job in, say, the detective business? They could use a sharp brain like yours."
Akira laughed, somehow taking Goro's scathing insults like water to a duck's plumage. "I meant it in, like, a nice way. Long hair suits you. Makes you look pretty."
The wry smile immediately fell from Goro's face, and he dug his nails into the palms of his hands. The way his chest was fluttering was simply, irrevocably wrong. There were rules he had to play by, and letting himself get swept up into Akira's charming whirlpool of "nice" was breaking every single one of them.
"I probably need to cut it, then. Gets in the way, you know." He mused, ruffling the back of his head.
Suddenly realizing that Akira was close enough for Goro to smell the scent of his fruit-flavored beer, his fingers twisting through the longer strands of his hair, a hot flush crept up the back of his neck. Almost as if he was transfixed, Akira's hand stayed at the base of Goro's neck, the heel of his palm barely touching his jaw. Distractedly, Akira's grip tightened, and Goro sucked in a breath, leaning into the touch.
As if struck by lightning, they sprung away from each other, attempting to regain their composure by leaning against the balcony railing.
"Sorry," Akira muttered, taking a sip of his beer.
Goro made a face. "What even is that? Smells like melted candy."
A short laugh left Akira's lips. "Says the guy who inhaled two bottles of Ann's disgusting lime vodka."
"Well, that's entirely the point," Goro explained, "it's disgusting, so obviously, I want more."
Throwing his head back with laughter, the quarterback leaned his head on his hand. "That makes no sense whatsoever."
A beat of silence fell between them, the summer night's breeze running across Goro's skin like water. Guiltily, Akira turned around, leaning his elbows on the railing, and giving Goro a look that read "sad puppy."
"So, hate to bring this up again, but you and Haru, huh? You're really broken up?" He asked, training his eyes on the doors.
Scowling, Goro gave him the iciest look he could muster. "Oh, of course. That's why you're here. Trying to make a good impression on your new conquest's ex? She's not a fucking vase, Kurusu. She doesn't need my permission to do anything, much less my approval."
Sighing, Akira ran a hand through his hair, a pained expression on his face. "No, that's not why I'm here. It's not even why I brought you here. I wanted -"
Anger flared like a snare drum in Goro's bones, and he snapped his head around to properly look at the dark-haired boy, clenching the railing of the balcony tightly. "That's all you do, isn't it? Want everything, ignore everything you already have, pretend that what you're asking for is trivial."
"That's not -"
"You will never, ever understand," He finished, "that you already have everything."
Neither of them spoke for a moment, and the only sound between them was the quiet whirring of the pool's chlorinator and the hollow sound of bass-boosted music.
Breaking the silence with an equally fragile voice, Akira didn't even look at him. "I wanted to tell you that it was never about Haru. I'm sorry if that got mixed up, but honestly, I could never see her that way. I guess it backfired."
"You fucking asshole." Goro hissed. "You really dislike me that much that you literally tear me away from -"
Rolling his eyes in exasperation, the quarterback turned on his heel, standing up straight. "If you would just let me finish speaking, you'd hear that I don't hate you! Not in the slightest."
Helplessly lost, Goro pushed off the railing to stand in front of Akira, glaring furiously at his face. A mere inch separated them, and he could smell the sweet scent of that stupid beer on his breath. "Then what the hell do you think you're doing?"
"For someone so smart, you're so fucking stupid." Akira breathed.
Then, sliding his hands into Goro's hair, he cupped his face and leaned in, kissing him.
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“your head upon a stick would look really sick, but they would call me crazy for the way i spoke to it”
Hey bitch, what's your fucking name? What a start, jc lmao. Brittany.
What color are your nails? They're not painted.
Last time you got some ass? Well this survey's gonna be a journey. Many years ago.
Do your parents like your style/music choices? Yeah, at least most of it. Some music my mom really doesn't like or just hates, while I can't even imagine Dad's reaction to some bands I enjoy.
Ever seen your parents make out? tbh would rather slam my ankle on a Razor scooter.
What's your dream height and weight? Forget about my height, if I could just be at least 120 again...
Do you put your hair up a lot or down? It's too short to put up.
Most of the time do you straighten or curl your hair? Neither.
What do you do when your house loses power? Light a bunch of candles and carry flashlights.
What piercing do you hate? I'm not a fan of cheek piercings.
Were you raised in a religious house? Yes. I grew up going to Sunday school and church, even though I hated both.
Do your parents get mad when you're on the computer for hours? Gah... it was a very, very big source of argumentative fuel between Mom and me all the way up to my late teenage years when she just gave up; now, it's to be expected and is completely "normal." I always wanted to be on the computer once I was introduced to it; she tried to limit my time on it, and it was without fail what she would take away whenever I was grounded. I'd even sneak onto it when I wasn't allowed to if she wasn't home and Dad was in their room. My mom really did try to keep me from being hooked on technology, she really did, it just didn't work, but dear god I wish it did. I just about turn into a caveman without some form of it, and it's pretty pathetic. Dad meanwhile has never really cared much, but he'd make a comment here and there that would make me self-conscious about it.
Have you ever been asked for a nude picture? No, and guess who would be ignored for the rest of their lives if they did. It's so fucking disrespectful and objectifying to me. If someone wants to send a partner something like that by their own volition, that's cool, but asking, that just seems incredibly rude to me and turns the person into an object of lust.
Ever been so scared you pissed? Caaan't say I have.
Can you watch scary movies at night and not be scared? Yeah, they've never really fazed me.
Last reason you got your cell taken away? I actually don't know if that's ever happened, given the aforementioned computer thing. I was never hooked on my phone.
Could you handle working on a farm? Nooooo, that is way too much physical exertion.
Have you ever been attacked by an animal? No.
Have you ever had to put an animal to sleep? ugh
Do you have a favorite type of firework? Well, visually I really just like the big colorful ones, but I don't endorse the use of fireworks anymore. Some animals literally die from fear, they can be seriously upsetting to veterans with PTSD (you could have one in your neighborhood and never know you indirectly gave them a panic attack), and they're a large source of litter.
Where would/did you get your first tattoo? My right wrist.
What's your favorite kind of pet? Snakes.
Favorite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is obviously the coolest. It's always been my fave.
How many pets do you have? Sigh, just two. Our landlord doesn't want us to get anymore pets than what we came in with.
What were two of your favorite Disney movies as child? The Lion King and Finding Nemo. They're still my favorite Disney movies.
When carving pumpkins, how do you decide what you're going to do? I haven't carved a pumpkin in years... so idk.
Do you own any art supplies? Some, yeah.
Do you believe you have a higher IQ than most? Definitely not.
What is the name of the doctor that delivered you? I have no clue. Mom knows him for sure because she's mentioned him from my childhood, but I don't.
Have you ever seen a Lamborghini in person? Hunny, I live in rural North Carolina. You don't see that level of bougie here lmao.
Shane Dawson: funny or annoying? I honestly think he's fucking hilarious. I just have such conflicting feelings about him after "the drama," hearing so many people's opinions (particularly from those who know him so well, like his fiance and Ryland's sister), fact checking, audio cutting and mixing, the whole "people change" philosophy... I don't know.
When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last? I ain't touchin' strawberry. Gross.
If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick? I'd wanna be a shapeshifter/druid.
What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers? Yikes, sex toys. Given my age, I'd say if I bought adult diapers, people would assume they weren't for me. I'm awkward enough with all things relating to sex to begin with, so.
What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Yo wtf I never have and never will (intentionally) kill an animal. Well, correction: I've killed bugs before, the biggest probably being some spider or something, but I really try to avoid this now.
Could you win the Hunger Games? lol hell to the fuck no, have you seen me???
For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing? ... Maybe? Not saying I wanna find out, though.
Have you ever been punched in the face? No, plan on keeping it that way.
Is morality universal or relative? I question this myself.
Who is your favorite late night talk show host? I don't have one.
Where do you put your keys when you get home? They stay in my purse.
Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? Neither. The sheer variety of questions relating to coffee and tea in surveys boggles my mind, always feel left out that I can't answer 'em lmao.
What’s your phone background picture? My lock screen is this pretty, soft aesthetic screen that has "i am strong, i am loved, i am enough" written in the center. I've really needed it for my mental health lately. My home screen is some meerkats. I know, can you believe neither are currently Mark?
Have you ever seen a snake in the wild? Plenty.
How do you cope with anxiety? Deep breathing, mindfulness and grounding exercises, confiding in my mom, listening to music (usually my favorite calm, instrumental soundtracks, like from the Silent Hill franchise - particularly the second game! - or Shadow of the Colossus), try to nap, play a game as a distraction, watch my favorite YouTubers (typically something funny)... I'm lucky to have learned a lot. Now, if only I could cope with social anxiety...
What was the last takeout food you ate? Oh Jesus, how embarrassing is this timing, seeing as it was one of my unhealthiest fast food orders: Son of the Baconator and Baconator fries from Wendy's. It was so fuckin good tho.
Who makes you laugh the most? My friend Girt.
What does a successful relationship look like to you? One with great communication and total honesty, and when you are able to build each other up and bring out the best in your partner. It's also imperative for you to feel safe being your authetic safe for me to consider it "successful."
What do you like to put on your baked potato? "Salt, pepper, butter, cheese, bacon bits." <<<< That's how we do it, lads.
What was the most memorable birthday you’ve had? My 16th, but not for good reasons.
Would you rather go to the beach or the mountains? That's easy as hell, mountains. I don't like the beach.
Do you look in the mirror before you leave the house? Yeah. Not gonna like what I see no matter what, but I'd like to make sure I don't look worse whan what's normal.
Have you ever seen someone quit their job in a dramatic way? No.
What do you like to dip your fries in? It varies between ketchup and honey mustard.
What’s your favorite kind of museum? Science.
Do you believe in alternate universes? Nah, I don't think so.
Whose house did you last visit? My older sister's.
What games do you play on your smart phone? Mostly just Pokemon GO nowadays. I haven't touched Dragons of Atlantis in a long time...
Do you know anyone who is colorblind? Jason's older brother is red/green colorblind, I think?
Are you the youngest, middle or eldest child in your family? Middle.
What’s something you’ve been meaning to do but keep putting off? Ugh, I need to finish decorating my damn room... Got most of the stuff on the walls now, but it's still pretty skeletal in self expression. My motivation is abysmal.
Have you ever flown a kite? Oh yeah, I loved to fly a kite with Dad as a little kid when the tobacco field just across the road was barren.
Who was the last person you talked about sex/relationships with? My doctor.
How many brothers does your father have? I'm almost certain he doesn't have one, just one sister.
Do you think you act older or younger than your actual age? It depends on the situation. When it comes to "adulting," I don't have a fuckin clue what I'm doing. I doubt anyone would believe I'm a month shy of 25. In terms of general maturity, I think I act my age, if not older.
When was the last time you swam in a pool? It's been years.
What are your parents' views on your relationships? Mom is always very supportive so long as they treat me right; she's taken to all my previous partners very well and treated them like family, too. My dad is also supportive as long as I'm treated properly and happy.
Is your best friend dating anyone? No.
Have you ever babysat before? Twice, but not really willingly. Way too stressful.
Do you delete pictures of you and your exes off of Facebook? It took a very, very long time, but all pictures with Jason are forever deleted.
Ever had a huge crush on someone who still doesn’t know? Not a huge crush, no.
Ever watched porn? No. You do you, but I don't see the appeal of watching some random people fuck.
Ever performed in a talent show? No.
Would you audition for a reality talent competition? Nope.
How many celebrity crushes have you had? I'd say Jesse McCartney, Link Neal, and Mark Fischbach are my only BIG celeb crushes I've had.
How many non-celebrity crushes have you had? I dunno, don't feel like reaching back and counting.
Ever been compared to a celebrity? Not visually, but with my adoration of animals.
Have any embarrassing pictures on Facebook? Oh, I'm sure. None that are horribly embarrassing though, or else I would have deleted them.
Ever seen a therapist? I've regularly seen a therapist since the 6th grade.
Ever purposely ignored a text? Yep.
A Facebook message? Sure have, when I was beyond done arguing with a former friend.
A friend request? No, I just decline or accept it. My page is private, so you can't see my activity, and it's not like they get notified if it's declined,
Would you say you read into things too much? I am the fucking sovereign of this.
If you turned out exactly like your mom would you be pleased? I love my mom to death, but no. I'd be disappointed.
Ever had a credit card denied? I've never had one in the first place.
Ever had the lead in a play? No. I do remember though in elementary school, I was real bummed that I wasn't Snow White for one we did for Music class.
What about a solo in a concert? Never been in a concert.
Would it bother you if you found out that your mother was pregnant? Well. One, she's long past menopause. Two, because of ovarian cancer, she had all those organs removed. So, that would be impossible.
Have you ever had a threesome? No; I'm personally strictly monogamous and would feel it to be disloyal, even if my parnter was okay with it.
What's the last game you used dice for? Not a clue.
Are you interested in surfing at all? Have you ever been? No.
What brand of bottled water do you prefer? Essentia.
What is your favorite type of bird? Barn owls.
What is your favorite chocolate candy? motherfuckin REESE'S
Have you ever been called a racial slur? No, considering I'm Caucasian.
Why did you last stand in line? I was at the doctor's office, I think?
What is your favorite pirate movie? /shrug
What is your favorite character from Orange Is the New Black? I've never watched it.
What was the most unsettling film you’ve seen? Watching the ending to Paranormal Entity was VERY uncomfortable. It was a decently scary movie, but the ending was seriously intense.
When was the last time you were snooping, and found something you wish you hadn’t? I don't recall.
Which celebrity or band has the worst fan base? I don't know.
What are you interested in that most people aren’t? The sheer degree of my love for meerkats would definitely be missed by probably most people.
What smartphone feature would you actually be excited for a company to implement? I dunno. Anything I could think of, the most current products probably already have and I'm just uninformed of them. Like, I use a Tracfone lmao.
What’s something people don’t worry about but really should? Their plastic usage and disposal. I'm certainly no saint when it comes to plastic either, but I try to do all I can.
What movie quotes do you use on a regular basis? Hm, ARE there any?
Do you think that children born today will have better or worse lives than their parents? This depends on what you consider "better" and "worse." Environmentally, I honestly don't think mankind can maintain itself for that many more generations at the rate we're currently at, so that's probably just gonna keep getting worse. On the other hand, advances in medicine and things like that will certainly continue to improve quality of life in that sense. Human rights are getting better and better. I do fear that we're becoming too comfortable with laziness and convenience, but I hope that's a decline we don't continue to venture down.
What’s the funniest actual name you’ve heard of someone having? I had a college classmate named Apple.
Which charity or charitable cause is most deserving of money? Oh, come on now. It's not a competition.
What game have you spent the most hours playing? So. When you type /played in World of Warcraft, it will show you your total playtime, and mine is YIKES. Like, around a year's worth of time of pure playing since 2014, I think.
What’s the most comfortable bed or chair you’ve ever been in? I don't recall.
What’s the hardest you’ve ever worked? When I did WiiFit religiously and lost around 40 pounds in HS. I was in the best shape of my life.
What movie, picture, or video always makes you laugh no matter how often you watch it? Oh, there's certainly something. Probably some Unus Annus clip. That channel was a fucking blessing and a curse all the same.
If you could have an all-expenses paid trip to see any famous world monument, which monument would you choose? Oh boy, I'd have to think, but probably somewhere in Rome or Greece.
What’s the coldest you’ve ever been? I'm unsure. Probably jumping in the pool as a kid. My sisters and I would nag Dad to put the pool up on like the very first day of spring, so of course it was cold, but as a kid, I didn't mind that.
What’s the most ridiculous thing you have bought? Hm.
What’s the most depressing meal you’ve eaten? Ha ha yiiiikes, struggle foods... I don't know, but I've had some.
What outdoor activity haven’t you tried, but would like to? Herping, though I change my mind on-and-off about it. I'm not very into the idea of disturbing wildlife just because they're cool and you wanna check them out. I'd totally go exploring with a camera, though, and not actually pick anything up.
If you were given five million dollars to open a small museum, what kind of museum would you create? Hm... I actually think something like an art museum for the mentally ill would be pretty interesting and educational? Even something that could build empathy. Maybe mix some psychology in there to understand conditions.
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Clear Shell Football Helmet Restoration
Vintage clear shell helmets are by far my favorite type of collectible helmet. Like most old helmets, however, most of the ones we find are in bad shape. Restoration is much more difficult because you can’t just sand and paint - you have to remove the paint while trying to maintain the transparency of the shell.
Once the paint has been removed, dealing with replacement decals and painting can be just as challenging:
What to use for decals? They have to be applied to the inside of the helmet, before the paint, securely to avoid paint bleeding, and colorful enough to adequately show through the plastic shell.
How to prep the inner surface for paint considering you want the shell to be as clear as possible?
What paint to use?
How to avoid paint bleeding into the decals?
If you mess up any of this once you start painting, the only way to recover is to go back to step one and re-remove the paint and decals...yikes.
Over the last several months I've worked (and reworked) a few 1970s MacGregor helmets. I thought I'd share my experience. Some of this information may be obvious but is included for someone starting with no experience. This is by no means a complete guide, just some of what I have learned.
This work is not for the faint of heart and this information is presented without any guarantee of success. If you don’t want to deal with the heartache and disappointment that can come from trial and error (and almost certainly screwing something up bigtime) then I would recommend sticking with refurbishing regular plastic shell helmets. Those can be challenging enough just getting the paint to look right. But if you really want a reproduction of that sweet helmet worn by the likes of Joe Washington or Hollywood Henderson, without doling out hundreds or thousands of dollars, refurbishing an old clear shell might be worth it.
Always test a small inconspicuous area before trying to do the whole helmet.
I found that Motsenbocker's Lift Off Paint & Varnish Remover works very well and does not damage the clear plastic shell. I applied it to a 1974 MacGregor that was painted silver and after a few minutes the paint literally peeled right off with no damage to the plastic. The helmet had red horseshoe logos under the paint and that material was actually harder to completely remove. See sanding and polishing info below for the solution.
I also used Motsenbocker's on a helmet that I had repainted with Krylon spray paint. After applying the remover and letting it sit for an hour the paint came off cleanly using a plastic scraper. Again, no damage to the plastic.
I have only done this on a few vintage MacGregor helmets so results may vary if different paints were used originally, if the plastic is in poor condition, etc. I have not tried this on Kelley, Maxpro or any other older clear shells.
If you're going to try Motsenbocker's, the only place I could find it was ordering online from Home Depot. $25 for 64oz. A reseller on Walmart.com has it listed for $100 which shows how hard it is to find. As stated earlier, test it in a small area first.
I also tried CitriStrip Paint & Varnish Stripping Gel and it was more harsh, melting the clear plastic if left on more than a few minutes (similar to nail polish remover). I would not recommend it.
Cleaning up the plastic shell after stripping paint
There will be some residual paint after the Motsenbocker's. I have had success wet sanding with 400 grit to get rid of the residuals. Follow that with wet sanding with 600 grit, then 800, then 1000. Go to 1500 if you like. A spray bottle filled with water is very handy. Also, if you have stubborn paint you can use 100 grit dry to start, followed by 220-320 wet, then 400, etc., and it will clean up OK.
After wet sanding, the shell will be hazy but should be scratch free and smooth. To restore the clear shell I use Novus 7100 Plastic Polish Kit with a cordless drill with foam polishing head. #3 (heavy scratch remover) followed by #2 (fine scratch remover). Polish each step until the material dries up or wears off. Wipe out the residual after each step.
The Novus does a good job but the residue left behind, while invisible, adds to the challenge of painting. You can wash the helmet with Dawn dish soap to remove the residue; however, you will consequently lose some clarity and get some haziness (which is when I redo #2 polishing). Balancing the transparency of the shell vs. having the best surface for painting is challenging. I have applied decals (see below for details) then wiped the exposed inside with rubbing alcohol to prep for paint. I've had mixed results.
Logos and stripes
This step is probably the hardest. One option is to not use decals or vinyl at all - mask off the inside of the helmet and paint logos, stripes and then the shell. This is a viable option but painting scares me enough that I try to only have to do one color, that of the shell, and use decals for logos and stripes.
I purchased Sunnyscopa Waterslide Decal Paper from Amazon. They offer white and clear. White is only useful for white stripes or simple white logos (like Oklahoma). Anything bigger and it's very hard to work with. And of course you can't print on the white because the sticky side has to face outwards.
The clear labels are good for small things printed in black (reversed of course), like the MacGregor or Kelley logo for the back of the helmet. I have not had luck with colors on the clear decal paper, as they do not print with full opacity (washed out). That is not to say it’s impossible - maybe I don’t have the right printer. Also, the larger the decal, the more stretching needed to fit the curve of a helmet. When stretched, the ink widens with the label and you’ll eventually get gaps in the colored areas.
I have heard there are companies that print custom waterslide decals but I have not found been able to find any in my limited Google searches. Sounds expensive (relatively) and it might be hard to find anyone that will print what may be considered copyrighted material.
I have a Silhouette Cameo 4 vinyl cutter and have had some success with Oracal 651 vinyl. However, I have also had some problems with paint bleeding inside the label. I have tried applying vinyl decals with strips of clear waterslide decal paper along the edges to act as a seal against bleeding. This does a good job of preventing bleeding but:
Applying the material along all the edges can be challenging. Depending on the decals there might be a lot of edge to cover. Also, working with larger pieces of the waterslide decal paper is difficult. The edges fold over and it’s very hard to undo that, often forcing you to start with a new piece.
The decal paper keeps the paint from adhering to the plastic because, obviously, it is a layer of material between the paint and the shell. If the waterslide material lifts or is removed, the paint goes with it.
I have also purchased 8 mil white Convex GearWrap (SKU C8155W), which is thicker than Oracal and also seems more adhesive. It is possible to place decals cut in Oracal on the sticky side of the GearWrap, thus using the GearWrap adhesive to hold the decal in place on the helmet. This is an acquired skill however.
Painting clear, smooth, glossy plastic is definitely a challenge. You want to keep the plastic as clear and smooth as possible so the decals, stripes and paint show through as clearly as possible. But that goes against the normal process of prepping a surface for paint by sanding it.
That said, I have had good success with Krylon Colormaxx paints (labeled for metal, wood, plastic...). Make sure you inside surface is a clean as possible. Try wiping a small area with alcohol. As mentioned, however, you’ll probably get some haziness in the plastic when cleaning it with alcohol. Keep in mind, though, when the paint is applied it seems to “moisten” the surface, thus removing the haze.
Spray several light coats, waiting the recommended minute or two, or even longer, between coats. After several coats, hold the helmet up to a light source and examine the entirety of the inside. If you can see any light showing through the paint, focus subsequent coats on those areas. Interestingly, even if you end up with some light spots, they are not often noticeable in the finished product.
One of the advantages of painting the inside of a helmet is that if you end up with drips they won’t be visible from the outside (unless it’s metallic paint - see below).
If there are spots inside the helmet that are not properly prepped, you might see some patches where the paint “beads”. Like drips, however, this is not as big of an issue as it might seem. Try letting the coat dry for a few minutes and reapply paint. Eventually the patches will be covered. How well the paint has adhered is another story, though. Try to ensure the inner surface is as clean as possible before painting.
Metallic paints present additional challenges and I would recommend avoiding them. If you run into drips or beading, you will most likely see these defects in the finished product. Because of the metal flecks in the paint, if it is not applied evenly the finish will be uneven, and drips will be obvious. Also, if the paint is not mixed (shaken) consistently it will come out of the can in different mixtures, further hosing up the finished product. I don’t know anything about the makeup of different spray paints but I would not be surprised if metallic paints have additional ingredients that don’t mesh will with smooth plastic.
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A/N: I’m warning y’all rn, straight up. This chapter is about to get confusing and long. It’s mostly going to be dialogue and there’ll be a lot of explaining. I know this chapter will seem boring but I promise it’s necessary and it’ll help advance the plot.
Also welcome to the taglist @obsssedwithjustaboutanything
ok, on with the chapter.
Back | Chapter 18 | Next
Five had finally changed into his sleepwear and went to bed while you insisted on getting something to drink before sleeping but instead you came down to the sight of Allison rushing to leave the academy with car keys jingling in her hand.
“Allison?” You called out to her, making her stop in her tracks before looking back at you with a worried expression. She tried to mask her surprise with a smile before wiping away at the tear that obviously came from her red eyes.
“What are you doing up? It’s late.” Her voice was quaking and you could tell she was trying to hid the keys in her hands that were folded over her chest.
“I could say the same to you.” You replied to which she just shrugs. A habit you noticed on both her and Five when they can’t come up with a better lie. But you knew what she was trying to do, you’re her sister after all. “Where are you going?”
She dropped her arms before taking a step forward, ready to admit the truth to you since there was no point hiding it or trying to get you to believe in a lie. “I need to save Vanya. Eight, if Harold Jenkins gets away again, I don’t think I could live with myself knowing my sister is dating a psycho.”
You were still in pieces from everything you learned from Five but all that went flying out the window when you found out Allison was about to charge into the fight without at least a sidekick. Five had filled you in on the whole “Harold Jenkins” thing a little while back before he went to bed but this was still insane. “Allison, you can’t just charge in there. You said it yourself, this guy is dangerous, you can’t just go on your own. What about Diego? or the others-”
“Diego got arrested...” That very statement that came form her mouth made you stagger back on your step. She took a step forward, a bit worried to how you would further react. She knew hoe close you two were and how much it hurts you to know what mess he’s gotten himself into. “While you were with Five, he convinced me to go after Harold Jenkins.”
You wanted to just fall on your knees and let guilt consume you, if you has used your future vision you could’ve warned Diego. At this point, you’re not even sure if you could call it that. You haven’t even wrapped your head around what was going on with you and your powers but one thing you were sure of, you would’ve still abused what’s left of Five’s ability in you to save Diego. You looked up at Allison, finally finding your composure and making a decision. “I’m coming with you, as soon as we get rid of Jenkins the sooner we can fix this whole mess and stop the apocalypse.”
Allison nodded at you and two hopped into the car before driving into the rainy night. You looked out, worried that Five might wake up to find you gone or Diego being blamed for crime he didn’t commit. You looked over to see Allison nervously chewing on her nail with one hand on the wheel. She didn’t need to tell you, but you knew she was worried about Vanya as well. “It’s my fault, you know?”
Allison looked over at you, a bit shaken by how your statement pulled her out of he train of thought before looking back at the road. “What do you mean?”
“If I had just stood by Vanya instead of chasing Five around, I could’ve stopped her from even meeting this psycho.” You stared out the window, only able to dream of being the sister Vanya deserved. Now she threw herself into this mess because she was seeking love and validation to the only man she thinks understands her. “You know, I attend every single one of her shows and she was amazing. I always thought she didn’t need to powers to be extraordinary but I guess I still doubted her deep down. I never wanted to pull her into this mess of a family that we are.”
“You’re not the only one...” Allison added, thinking of the short time she spent with Vanya after years of not so much as contacting her to see how well she’s doing as a writer or a musician. “I-...I told her she didn’t need powers to be special but we excluded her in everything because powers is all we are. Our lives and names were built on being different yet, we’re the ones who don’t fit in yet...we made Vanya feel excluded.”
You slightly nodded, showing agreement to the statement but you knew that there was no point in dwelling in the impossible now. Your priority was to save your sister and stop the apocalypse.
By the time you got there, Allison stepped out of the car with you close by. You watched as the windows shake and the chandelier swing violently to the wind from inside the house. It was unnatural and you knew there was something weird going on, Allison finally makes it into the cabin where you saw Vanya playing the violin but stopping when she was alerted by your presence. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to find you.” Allison said, a sense of relief when she finally saw her sister standing in front of her, safe. But there was this unreadable expression in her face that made the girl stumble a bit on her words. “Are you ok?”
You simply sat back and watched as the two converse before Vanya reveals how she actually had powers. “Turns out I had them all this time.”
“Vanya that’s amazing.” You said, with a smile and you take a cautious step forward. You wanted to hug her but you weren’t so sure she had forgiven you after the last time you two had fought. You could tell she was taken back with your excitement and you felt guilty, remembering how you treated her. “Vanya, I’m sorry. You were right, I doubted you when I shouldn’t have. And I’m not telling you this now because you have powers, I’m telling you because you’re my sister.”
Your voice cracked and tears started dripping from your eyes and you saw Vanya open her arms and you ran to her before burying yourself into the embrace. You were so glad you could finally have your sister back. When you pulled away you smiled at her before looking back at Allison. “Now we can finally go home.”
“Home?” Vanya cuts you off and you look at her, remembering that she didn’t know about the truth. You took a set back and watched as Allison began to explain everything to her and she falls back into the chair.
“Vanya, I know how confused you are.” You crouched to the floor next to Allison, placing your hand on Vanya’s leg to comfort her and you watched her shake and tug on her hair which broke your heart. “I found out that I never had future vision...”
“What- what do you mean?” She asked with a shaking voice that reminded you of the same confusion and fear you had felt when Five told you about your Future vision or lack thereof.
“I found out that Dad has been injecting me with Five’s power so I could replace him but I failed.” For some reason, it was easier to say then to hear. You sympathized with her and you knew that during these times, family was the only one who you could count on. “Just know that I’m here for you and I understand.”
You wanted to tell her so much more, you wanted to tell her everything but you knew now was not the time. You looked over at Allison ang came to an agreement that you had to look out and catch the real threat so you got up and left Vanya to Allison.
You stepped out and went to grab the files from the car to skim over and see just how bad this Harold Jenkins was. You held the file in your hand but ultimately felt that there was no need for that so you threw the file back into the car. You had promised to trust Vanya but there was this unsettling feeling in your stomach so you used your ability even in your moment of doubt and saw a future where Allison falls on the floor with blood spilling form her throat. You snap back to reality in fear and looked back to see the house shaking, with this unsettling feeling pitting in your gut so you made your way to run back to the cabin but instead you were blocked by two men in a masks, different from the two that you had encountered in the department store.
You quickly jumped over to kick one guy in the chest and punch the other but it’s been so long since you fought you had lost your lingo, not to mention you’ve never fought in this body before. Your legs and arms were shorter than anticipated and you kicks were sloppy. The two ultimately gave up on the fisticuffs and pulled out a knife, which results in you taking five deep cuts and a solid stab on the thigh. The pain made your knees weak and you were barely holding yourself up, the blood from the cuts were leaking like a faucet. You fell to your knees and watched as they pulled a gun to your head. You closed your eyes, embracing what’s to come only to hear them run and disappear as a car pulls up and you saw your brothers and Five come out of the car. You tried to call out to them but the blood loss made your consciousness slip in and out.
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erotica ii, m | myg
pairing(s): yoongi x reader
summary: Thanks to witnessing each other’s masturbation sessions, Min Yoongi ends up 34+35′ing on the couch with his female roommate. But not before attempting to cut onions first – no, really.
warnings: rated M (18+) for language, smut (fem reader, a good ol’ 69); non-idol!AU; pretty fluffy; mostly Yoongi’s POV, only a little of your POV
Min Yoongi woke up slowly.
Very slowly. And he didn’t really want to get up either. Surprisingly, he had a very satisfying night’s sleep which was rare for him. He wanted to stay asleep as long as he could.
He shot up from his bed, eyes snapping open.
His female roommate was eating a bowl of cereal on his fucking bed.
Wearing only her pajama shirt.
What the fuck? Has she been staring at him all night? Had she–
Yoongi froze, the past night’s events crashing back down onto him. Her wet body masturbating to the bath faucet. Him jacking off and her appearing, licking his cum off and sucking on his fingers. He looked down at his crotch. Thank God, he had rearranged himself before passing out. The cum stains were still there though, reminding him this wasn’t a dream.
She chewed deliberately, his phone beside her.
“You shouldn’t make your pin the same numbers as your username,” she remarked absentmindedly.
He started. “Wha– did you look though my phone?” he rasped; his voice croaky from sleep.
She spooned more cereal into her mouth and crunched some more. “Mhm. Had to make sure you weren’t taking pictures of me without my knowledge or something.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes. “Why the fuck would I do that?”
She shrugged, swallowing a big bite. “Why would you open the bathroom door while I’m washing up, ogle me once you realized what I was doing, and then jack off right after?”
Ah. Point taken. Yoongi realized that looked very bad.
“I was going to suck you off in the morning, but that seemed like an invasion of privacy, so I decided to get cereal instead.”
He stared at her.
“And going through my phone is not an invasion of privacy?”
She pointed her spoon at him and licked her teeth. “That was for my personal safety.”
He just gawked, slack-jawed, as she calmly bought the bowl to her lips and drank the rest of the milk. She removed it from her mouth, white milk clinging to her pink lips. She slowly licked it off, making eye contact with him.
His cock twitched.
She placed the bowl on her lap, covering her crotch. She tilted her head at him, cocking an eyebrow.
“You look like you want to ask me something,” she said.
He swallowed. “Are you… actually the writer of that blog?”
She nodded slowly. “Mmm. You want to check my computer for the drafts?”
She smirked. “Can’t let you do that though, because then you’ll get spoilers for what’s next.”
Holy shit. He’d been jacking off to his nerdy roommate’s writing for… how long? His ears turned red at the thought.
She cracked her neck loudly and stretched her arms, sighing softly. Yoongi’s eyes widened, realizing she must not be wearing a bra because, holy hell, he could see her nipples and they were, er, definitely there. Big. He hadn’t gotten a good look when he ran into her in the bathroom – he was looking at a lot, honestly. His mouth watered and she straightened.
“So, anyway,” she continued as if nothing had happened. “I realize things between us might have changed a little.”
No, really? Yoongi thought wryly. Did you think that before or after you sucked the cum off my hand?
“Are you, uh, disturbed about what happened last night?”
She went straight in, addressing it point blank. Yoongi was fully prepared for the awkward ‘let’s-just-pretend-nothing-happened’ stage. He saw her slight hesitation, eyes serious as she watched his body language.
“Are you?” he countered.
She raised an eyebrow. “No.”
“Not even when I…”
She shrugged. “I mean it was weird, but it was sweet of you to check up on me if you were concerned.”
Yoongi furrowed his brows. “You don’t care if someone sees you getting off?”
She gave him a pointed look.
“There was always going to be that chance when I moved in with you.”
Silence. She leaned back on her palms.
“And you were jacking off with the door open, so chances are you knew that too.”
Yoongi felt his cheeks heat up. Her hair messy, dried while she was asleep. Her pretty, unmade face, with slight dark circles and upturned lips, amused at his realization. He remembered the body under that purple pajama shirt, his desire to touch it. To see it better, up close.
“Do you want me to initiate?” she asked calmly.
“Do you, Min Yoongi,” she repeated, slower this time, just as languidly, just as measured. Eyes on his, so focused and clear that he could not be mistaken. “Want me to initiate?”
His heartbeat skipped a little as her lips formed his full name.
“Hah…” Yes. Yes. Yes. “S-sure.”
She nodded. “Cool.”
Then she got up and walked out of his room, taking her cereal bowl with her.
Alright, now you were in some strange sex pact with your male roommate.
You washed your dishes and went back to your room. Yoongi seemed to be in shock, because he didn’t move from his bed the entire time. You went straight to your room, locking it.
You pressed your back into your door, breathing in deep.
Er, what have you done? Him catching you masturbating in a slightly unconventional manner, yeah, okay. Whatever. Then you heard him getting off and went to investigate. He sounded so… sexy, moaning like that. You always saw boring, focused Yoongi, and then you were greeted with the sight of panting, desperate Yoongi chasing his orgasm., knowing he had just seen you. He must have been thinking about you, even if just involuntarily.
And then you found out he reads your blog? To get off?
That was both embarrassing and flattering at the same time.
There were a lot of things you could have done. A lot of things you could have dreamed up. But seeing his face, uneasy and somewhat ashamed, and you couldn’t. After all, Yoongi was a real person. A real guy. Your roommate. The guy you had to live with.
Now, the guy you wanted to live with.
Hm. What to do?
You pulled off your pajama shirt. Checked your appearance in the small mirror next to your bed.
Your hair looked insane.
Yoongi needed to do something.
Anything to occupy his brain.
Music was out of the question. Yoongi wasn’t really ready to make sexually charged music.
So that’s why he showered, changed into a long-sleeved gray shirt and black pants, and went to the kitchen to cook. Yes. Cooking was an activity that required his entire brain. Holding a knife and cutting onions required all of his concentration.
Apparently not his eyesight, because he forgot onions made him cry.
Yoongi wiped his stinging eyes with his shirt sleeve, squinting at the cutting board. They were mostly diced, right? He put the knife down.
Hands reached around him. He felt something press against his back. The fabric of his gray shirt was quite thin. He could feel everything. The shape of her breasts. Her large, hard nipples. Her stomach against his back. The curve downward against his ass. Her forearms pressed against his, and she reached for the knife.
“You missed a bit.”
“There you go.”
Her breath against his ear. Yoongi shivered, blinking rapidly. Shit. The onions were fucking him up, but he couldn’t move. His roommate’s body was right behind him.
“I checked the ones you marked as favorites.”
Her lips grazed his neck.
“Seems like you like being surprised.”
Yoongi shut his eyes, unable to see anyway, and shuddering as her fingers traced the hem of his shirt.
“That’s not fair,” he panted. “You know because you checked my phone.”
He felt her smile into his skin.
“And I can’t touch you because my hands are covered in onion.”
Her breath so hot, so hot, reminding him of how she breathed into his mouth the night before. She pulled his shirt up, exposing his bare back. Then she pressed her hard nipples into him.
Yoongi gasped, pushing the cutting board up the counter. Oh, fuck. She slid up and down his skin, her large nipples rubbing all over, the perfect mix of hard and soft. He chewed on his lip, trying not to make a sound, muffling his cries. His eyes were stinging but it didn’t matter because she was igniting every flame inside him, her hands on his stomach, pressing him into her. She took a step back, taking him with her, away from the onions.
“You don’t need to silence yourself when I already know,” she breathed.
He opened his mouth, gasping softly.
She spun him around, his shirt sliding back down. Yoongi lifted his hands, trying to keep his oniony fingers away from her skin. Fuck. She was naked. His vision was clearing a little. She reached up and wiped his eyes with the back of her hand. He could see her smirk clearly now.
“Why is that?” she murmured, leading him to the sink. “You read everything I dream of. Everything I’ve experienced, everything I want to experience, every dirty little secret masked in pretty words.”
Her ass stopped against the counter. She leaned back, pushing him down on her so he could wash his hands. Yoongi ran the water as she leaned forward, speaking into his ear. He could feel her nipples press against his clothed chest, her heartbeat against his, just as fast, just as intense.
“If anything, you know more about me than I know about you, Yoongi.”
He sniffed, squirting way too much soap into his hands and frowning as he had to rinse it all off.
“That’s not true,” Yoongi muttered. “You know all the embarrassing shit I like.”
She pressed his hips into her crotch, grinding against him. He gasped, throat tight, feeling her nails sink into his ass and his already hard cock pressed into her body. He bit his lip and pressed his watery eyes into her shoulder, her beautifully shaped shoulder and collarbones, her musky scent filling his nose.
“What to start with then?”
Yoongi really thought his roommate was just a nerdy school kid who only cared about catching up on class. Going for an ambitious PhD in Clinical Psychology, not a PhD in fucking seduction in the middle of his kitchen while he was cutting fucking onions. Her hands slid down to his thighs and rammed them into hers, making him whimper.
And he couldn’t react the way he wanted because, fuck, he hadn’t prepared for this. He hadn’t thought about this. Yoongi hadn’t wanted to think about his female roommate like this because, well, it seemed inappropriate. Even a passing thought was just replaced by him wandering to the erotica blogs to take his mind off it.
“Put any filter on me,” she whispered. “I can be anything for you, Yoongi.”
He raised his head, breathing hard, watching her through slitted eyes. The water was off. His hands were dripping – small, tiny droplets plunking into the stainless steel. Fuck. Her eyes were half-lidded, smirk playing on her lips. So smug and self-satisfied. Her name drifted off his lips. She just quirked an eyebrow in response. Yoongi looked down, finally staring at her shapely collarbones, the curve of her breasts, the hardened peak of her nipples, down her stomach, to the curve that disappeared between her legs, covered in the black fabric of his pants. He found his breath shallow, rapid.
Why hadn’t he bothered to pay attention before?
Ugh, he was a fool.
Yoongi lifted his hands, still dripping water, and placed his fingertips on her chest. She sucked in a breath, flinching as the cold drops slid down her skin, goosebumps appearing. They slid down her body, pebbling on her nipples, swelling slowly at more and more water collected, before finally slipping off.
His eyes flickered back up to her face, her wetly parted lips, pink tongue visible in the darkness.
“Your wet body is sexy as hell.”
Yoongi pressed his palms into her breasts and leaned forward, pressing his lips into hers, moaning as he slid his hands all over her skin, so wet, so slick. Her lips so soft, gently kissing him in his desperation, holding him at length, tongue dancing against his, breathing softly into his mouth. His wet fingers found her nipples, teasing them, slipping them between his fingertips. She moaned, smiling, so infuriating with how much she was enjoying his exploration.
“You seeing me wet?” she purred.
“Yes.” Why was he so winded? She kept kissing him through her words, stealing his breath, pushing him backwards, into the living room, leading him like a string and he was the cat, chasing without thought, not watching where he was going.
“You want me to take over you, make you forget everything but your own pleasure?”
“Yes, please, yes…”
She gently lowered him onto the couch horizontally, all the way down, his head against the armrest as she kissed him all over, so many kisses, tongue licking his cheek lightly, making him shiver. What did he do in this life to deserve such attention? She placed her hands on his cheeks and kissed him, deep, longingly, and his insecurities weakened, fading into the feeling of this kiss, this moment where she held him in her grasp, in her words.
“Let me bring your secrets to life.”
Yoongi opened his eyes to hers, gazing at him through her lashes, piercing and cradling him.
He nodded in her palms.
She lifted her head, licking her lips, sliding down. She placed her hand on his stomach and pushed his gray shirt up, up, revealing his stomach, his paleness, and he reached down to place his hand on hers, nervously chewing on his lip. Her eyes slid up to his face, watching him carefully.
“There is no one to judge you here, Yoongi.”
He looked at her for a long, long time. Then he lifted his hand. She raised his shirt a little higher and dipped down, pressing her hot lips to his cold skin. He gasped, gripping the top of his shirt as she traced patterns with her tongue, around his dark nipple, teasing the nub lightly, murmuring. Sweet nothings, vibrating his skin, lazily flicking his nipple with her tongue before kissing her way to the other to do the same.
“You don’t…” he rasped. “You don’t have to…”
She kissed down his stomach, body hovering over him. Her intense eyes shifted up to his.
“I don’t.” She dipped her tongue into his bellybutton and he inhaled sharply. “But I’m going to.”
Yoongi felt his heart stop.
She went back to kissing down his body, her hands curling around his sides, pressing her fingertips into his skin, nails grazing him. Her teeth nipped him just above the waistband of his pants and Yoongi whimpered, hands sliding down to hers, pushing them down urgently.
One of her brows arched at his impatience. She smiled into his skin and hooked her fingers on the sides of his pants, but not his underwear. Pulling down, down. All the way down, shoving them to the floor.
Then Yoongi frowned, looking down.
He felt his cheeks heat. Oh fuck. He had been running out of underwear. She traced one of the brown bears on his aqua blue boxer briefs, smiling at him.
“I… I need to do laundry.”
She placed a hand on his crotch, his semi-hard cock throbbing at the contact of a new hand. Slow, deliberate, eyes on him the entire time.
“Or be naked and make it easier for me.”
She rolled her palm onto him, cupping his length and his balls through the thin fabric. Knowing smile on her lips he tried to rub against her hand. She lifted it away, raising two fingers from each hand, sliding them up the soft fabric, hooking them over the elastic. Pulling down, forcing him to lift his hips so she could peel them off, down his slim legs and flinging them aside carelessly.
“Are you… some kind of professional burlesque dancer?” Yoongi questioned out loud.
She smirked. “What do you mean?”
He furrowed his brows. “You move so… sensually.”
She laughed, a playful, musical laugh. “It takes practice, just like everything else.” She slid back up his legs, fingers spreading. His breathing hitched as she approached. “But it’s very flattering of you to say so, Yoongi.”
Her head dipped down, licking his thigh. Yoongi stiffened, a small noise leaving his throat. Kissing him, nipping at it, sinking her teeth into his inner thigh and sucking hard, forcing him to open his legs and arch his back, so intense as her tongue soothed the irritated skin.
She smirked. Closer. Closer. She snapped her teeth and he jumped, eyes growing wide. She chuckled at his reaction.
“Oh, Yoongi,” she drawled, tongue sliding out and slathering his balls with her saliva. He moaned, falling back into the sofa. “I would never.” She kissed his heated skin, lips so soft they felt like a pillow. “Not to my Yoongi.”
Her mouth covered his balls, slurping them in. He pressed his head into the armrest, moaning as she sucked on them, lapping, sliding the wet muscle all over. Her brows knotted together as she hummed softly, vibrating them. Holy fuck. Fuck, so much stimulation as she moved from one to another, so wet, so wonderful, heedless to the mess as it dripped down and soaked into their sofa.
“Fuck… so fucking good…” His voice trailed, deepening as she slapped her tongue back and forth, moaning around his balls, adding to it all.
She pulled her head back, slowly, slowly, and his left one popped out of her mouth. Yoongi looked down, seeing her pink lips shiny with saliva, open-mouthed smirk on her lips. Her hand gently pushed his leaking, hard cock to her face. Pink tongue slipping out, licking the tip. He inhaled sharply. She opened her mouth.
She stopped, eyes on him.
“Can you… sit on my face?”
She tilted her head.
“I… want you to sit on my face as you…” He couldn’t finish the request.
“Blow you?” she completed calmly.
Yoongi’s heart was beating a million miles a minute. “I promise I’m better than the bathroom faucet.”
“Ooh, I’m intrigued.”
She stood up, walking parallel to the back of the couch. His eyes followed her and the line of her arm, fingertips trailing on the sofa as she approached him. The whole picture, burned into his mind. Every detail, painting the scene. Eyes like a predatory cat, trailing up his body.
“I really thought…” Her head right above him, looking at him upside down. “You only cared about music, Yoongi.”
He found himself smirking.
“Everyone has to get off somehow.”
Fuck, the light in her eyes as she smiled at him. “You’re right.”
Then she climbed on top of him, snaking down his body, careful with her hands and knees. He lifted his arms so he could catch her thighs, shuddering as he felt their softness, her dripping wet pussy right in front of his face.
The couch was just barely wide enough, but she knew what she was doing, finding a comfortable position before lowering her hot mouth onto his cock. He groaned, tipping his head back and shuddering. Her tongue teased the head before descending, warm, wet, tight, throat clenching around him. Yoongi completely forgot what he was supposed to do, until she planted her hips right down onto his open mouth.
He moaned into her core, her sour-sweet taste flooding his mouth, dripping like honey. He coated his tongue, lapping greedily, drinking it all, the heavy scent of her sex clinging to his skin. A muffled whimper vibrated around his cock, pleading for more. Her head bobbed up and down, a firm steady pace as he licked her slit, gasping as he felt her entrance tighten around his tongue. He thrust it in experimentally and felt it again. Her walls closing in, expert control of her muscles. Her pace quickened, desperate, stifled cries of pleasure as he gripped her thighs tighter as he found her clit, sucking and licking at it.
Ugh, she just tasted so good, so fucking good, so addictive and distinct, making him want more and more, making him want to force more of those distressed pleas from her throat. His cock throbbed, stimulated by her voice and her mouth, so soft and tight. Never, in his entire life, had sex been like this – scent, sight, touch, taste, and her sound – fuck, her fucking sounds, so erotic, pleading for him, wanting him, her hips grinding in his face as she sucked him off. He felt her fingers clutching his thighs, trying not to hold him too tight, losing a little bit of control as he quickened his pace.
Both trying so hard to make the other cum first, both so desperate for more.
Yoongi felt it, the crescendo crawling, threatening, so close, so close. Her nails dug into his skin, the head of his cock rubbing into the back of her throat and the roof of her mouth. Her thighs tightened with strain, moans gurgling in her throat, something between his name and a curse. He tightened his jaw and sucked harder, licking her clit fast and rough.
His orgasm crashed into him, his hips shaking as he came, moaning hotly into her pussy as she swallowed his cum. Thick, vicious liquid poured into his mouth, even sweeter than before, so delicious he could only moan again as it leaked down his throat. He latched his lips onto her, sucking greedily as she whined around his cock, licking it weakly, her hips trembling in his hands. She went all the way down, whimpering, releasing her hands from his thighs and scratching the sofa with her nails, humping his face. He drank it all, licking the sensitive, throbbing flesh.
She removed her mouth from his cock, a sloppy popping sound.
“Holy fuck, Yoongi,” she panted as he lightly continued, nice and soft. “Holy fucking shit.”
Finally, she was at a loss for words.
“I did not pour water all over your front.”
“Just taking creative liberties, Yoongi.”
“Ah, so you want to?”
“… I… I didn’t say that…”
Her hand snaked around him. Yoongi bit his lip, stepping closer to the shelves of snacks as she calmly palmed his rapidly hardening cock through his jeans at the grocery store.
“You want to see me all wet again?”
423 notes · View notes
“Like ships in the night, you keep passing me by”
Do you own a black leather jacket?
A pleather one, yes. Something badass about wearing one haha.
Do you find musicians or athletes more attractive?
I’ve been attracted to more musicians, but that’s cause I’m more familiar with them. I don’t see a lot of athletes as someone who doesn’t watch or care at all about sports. Although, guys in baseball uniforms are nice. haha. Oh, back when I was like 13 or 14 I remember thinking Andy Roddick, a tennis player, was hot. I saw his photo in a magazine.
Are you better at spelling or writing?
I think both.
How many siblings do you have?
If you could have an ice cream sundae right now, would you?
Do you use emoji's?
Yeah. I don’t go crazy, but I like to use them as I see fit.
When was the last time you lost a tooth?
I broke a tooth like 10 years ago and had to get it pulled. You ask this question like it’s the norm to loose a tooth when I’m pretty sure the people who take surveys are past the ages where you lose your teeth.
Do you like bendy or regular straws better?
I like to use coffee stirrer straws cause the holes are small.
If someone signed you up for karate lessons, would you take them?
What's your favorite song?
I have numerous favorite songs.
Click shuffle on any music device. What's the 12th song that comes up?
What's your most used website?
Tumblr and YouTube.
Do you come on this website as much as you used to when you first found it?
Not as much, no. I used to spend like all day on Tumblr back in the day. Now I typically just get on at night as part of my nighttime routine of Tumblr and surveys. That’s also when I watch the most YouTube cause I like to listen to ASMR at night. I feel like I probably go on YouTube more now than before or perhaps it’s about the same.
Do you drink hot tea?
Once in awhile. It’s usually when I’m feeling really anxious or really sick.
“& it’s too cold outside for angels to fly”
Is there anyone you want to see in concert really bad?
I’m sad I never got to see Linkin Park. I don’t know if they’ll decide tour now, but it wouldn’t be the same without Chester. :(
Do you like Abercombie?
Do you still take a survey even if they don't capitalize letters?
Does your computer have word correct on it?
It’ll do the red squiggly line if something is misspelled or it doesn’t recognize the word and if I hit control and click on the word it’ll offer a suggestion if it’s a recognized word.
What's one of your wishes for 2013?
Well, we’re towards the end of 2020 now and I just pray we’re able to get through the rest of the year without anything else crazy coming at us.
Do you fight with your mom often?
No, my mom is my best friend she and I very close. We just bicker sometimes.
Would you rather have your son have the name Daniel as first or middle name?
Sounds more like a first name to me, but meh I don’t really care for the name at all. I don’t even want to have children so it doesn’t matter lol but if I did I’d go with another name.
Have you ever made up a food combo & everyone tired it & loved it?
Pizza rolls and mustard.
What was the last movie you watched? Would you recomend it to people?
Bringing Down the House the other day cause I happened to catch it on TV. It came out in like 2003 so it’s not new, but I’ve always liked it. I think it’s funny.
What is one word you cannot seem to spell?
Every time this question comes up I always say “onomatopoeia” for some reason and damnit I have yet to spell it right without having to look it up. I don’t know what it is about that stupid word that I just can’t seem to remember lol. It’s a word I never use unless this question comes up, so I guess maybe that’s why, but still. I should be able to spell it.
Were you born on an odd or even number?
Do you like Ed Sheeran?
I like several of his songs.
When you type, what hand & finger do you use to hit the space bar?
I use my right index finger. I don’t type the proper way, I use my index fingers lol. I type really fast that way, too.
Do you like to take pictures of you in the mirror?
Only if I want to show the shirt or outfit I’m wearing.
“you are the best thing that’s ever been mine”
Have you read the book Lord of the Flies?
Yeah, it was required in my 10th grade English class.
Would you rather type or hand write notes?
My handwriting is trash, but I feel like handwritten notes are nice.
Do you like the number seven?
I don’t have anything against it.
Do you believe that when you go to heaven, you become an angel?
No. I believe in angels, but not that we become one. Angels are another of God’s creations. They’re ministering spirits. They’re their own thing and humans are another.
How much money do you plan on spending tomorrow?
I don’t plan on spending any money tomorrow.
Are you good at writing poems?
No. I dabbled a bit with it when I was like 16 and angsty, but they’re so cringe. I still have the journal stored away with them and I’ve gone back to read them as an adult and yikes.
Do you come on here daily?
For the most part, unless I’m really not feeling well.
What's one thing you wish you were perfect at?
No one is perfect, but it’d be nice to be a functioning adult.
Can you play the saxophone?
Does it bother you when people breathe loud?
I will say I feel uncomfortable when someone has a breathing problem because it makes me hyper focused on my own breathing and I end up feeling like I can’t breathe.
Are you going to any concerts in 2013? Can you believe it's going to be 2013?
I didn’t. The last concert I went to was back in 2009.
Were you in love with the movie Mary Poppins?
Not in love with it, but I like it.
Do you like breadsticks?
Have you ever been on a mountain?
Yeah, I took a gondola ride up to one.
If you had to get rid of one of your sense, which one and why?
I’d really rather not.
“the first cut is the deepest”
Can you swim?
Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long?
No, I wear leggings all year long.
Do you remember Sesame Street?
Of course. It’s also still very much a thing.
Do you believe every word that comes out of peoples mouths?
Of course not. You have to take some things with a grain of salt or healthy dose of skepticism. You gotta gauge what is being said and who is saying it, too, and make the judgment. That doesn’t mean I don’t trust my loved ones or that I think everyone is a liar or something, but people can give misinformation unknowingly, so it’s not always being done intentionally. It’s just not a good idea to believe every single word that comes out of people’s mouths.
Do you like the questions that really make you think?
Depends on my mood.
What are you asking for for Christmas?
Just a few little things.
What time do you plan on going to bed on Tuesday?
I don’t have a set bedtime for any given day, I go to bed whenever. I’ve talked a lot about my messed up sleep schedule in surveys. It’s certainly not planned.
How many of your friends are online right now on here?
I have no idea who’s currently on. I’m kind of the night owl of the survey community who’s up doing surveys while everyone is asleep like normal people. When they’re getting up in the morning, I’m going to bed, ha. :X
Do you know what Je means in French?
I do, actually.
How often do you write in red pen?
I don’t recall the last time I used a red pen.
Do you cut your own hair?
No. I used to trim my own bangs back when I had ‘em, though.
Do you have any pictures in your room from concerts?
Would you ever name your son Harry?
Again, I don’t want to have children, but Harry is another name I don’t particularly care for.
Have you ever had your nails done in french tips?
Yeah, the one and only time I got my nails done, which was for my 8th grade promotion.
Is it harder for you to type on a keyboard that isn't yours & not used to?
Yes, for sure. I also don’t type as fast on my phone than I do on my laptop.
“I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller”
What shoe do you take off first?
Hm. I think my right.
What do you think a good teen couple name would be for a story?
Uh I don’t know?
If you were coming to the states from another country, where first?
I’m from the states.
Would you pay $82 for facial products?
Do you get a lot of compliments often?
Nope. It’s rare.
Was Mean Girls one of the best movies in your opinion?
I wouldn’t say it was the best movie, but it’s a favorite of mine. It’s just a classic, ya know? One of those nostalgic movies with a lot of memorable quotes.
If it was Sat, 2 in the afternoon, what would we find you to be doing?
I’d most likely be asleep.
Do any of your best friends have red hair?
Would you like to be on the cover of Seventeen magazine?
No. Or any magazine.
Would you rather go to an Adele or Bruno Mars concert?
I mean, I like songs from both so I wouldn’t be opposed to either one.
Would you like to live in Sweden?
No, but I’d love to visit.
Are you concerned about your weight?
Yes. I’m too underweight.
Do you know anyone who has the middle name Sebastian?
I don’t think so.
Do you remember where you got your first kiss at?
Did you ever watch the show 8 Simple Rules?
I watched it here and there cause it was part of the TGIF lineup that had other shows I liked.
“I hope you’re in the mood, because this is going to be a long ride”
Does your computer need to be cleaned?
Underneath the keys badly need to be cleaned.
Would you ever name your child Sushine, Raine, River etc?
I kinda like Raine.
Is it any of your friend's birthday today?
When is the person you like birthday?
I don’t like anyone in the romantic sense.
Do you like yogurt?
When you type, do you ever mix letters around by accident? (EX: ot - to)
Do you like butterflies?
No. I’m afraid of ALL bugs/insects, even the ones people think are cute like butterflies and ladybugs. Nopeee.
Do you consider the tomato a fruit or vegetable?
Tomatoes apparently can be referred to as either one. I always thought they were a vegetable.
Does it rain over where you live?
Yes. It hasn’t rained since like March or April, though. We Californians get excited when it rains cause it doesn’t happen often lol. I hope we get some soon. It’s been cold now at least, which I love.
Is there any snow on the ground?
It doesn’t snow in my city. :(
Do you like soup?
I only like ramen.
When's the last time you made cupcakes?
It’s been a few years.
How many lamps are in the room your currently in?
My lights are off.
Have you talked the person you like today?
Have you ever been bullied?
6 notes · View notes
over the garden wall
... it has occurred to me that i just might pull a lucy liu and when i’m financially stable and debt-free i’ll just... adopt a baby honestly
not that i don’t want to be pregnant or have a child of my own but i also... don’t feel the need to wait on anyone else or do in vitro? i do want to have a kid at some point... that’s literally it
thass all thanks for coming to my ted talk i enjoy children and i will raise them as best as humanly possible but also not now not soon
please know that this all came from that baby photo of min yoongi
i do like having more people at work to spread the work between but like... sometimes i miss just working with me and my boss. like, we spent a really harrowsome year and a half figuring out how to work with each other and there have definitely been times where we don’t get along but that time we spent carrying all that burden together helped us really understand how to work alongside each other? to the point where we know by default how to work in tandem and what to expect of each other. there’s a lot on our plates rn but despite how stressful today was it was also a bit easier with less people in the office to worry about? then it’s just a day of ‘hey can you look at this for me’ or ‘hey can we go do this task in 5 minutes after this is finished’ instead of ‘hey did you get this done?’ bc when it’s just us we always know what we need to be doing individually? idk it’s a lot less stressful when you know the person you’re working with is fully self-sufficient
we’re two supervisor/manager positions who hate micro-managing honestly we’re much better co-op partners
REMEMBER WHEN HIS EX THOUGHT THERE WAS SOMETHING GOING ON BETWEEN US AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GOD YIKES
apparently the elements to a good night tonight is listening to kali uchis and doja cat and singing along??? painting my nails a deep blue, almost black color called midnight drive and restarting horimiya from the top
i would like to make a psa that the only reason i’m living through january 2021 is for the horimiya anime adaptation bc it looks so promising and i’m so excited to see my favorite fucking series turned into a show
the only series i can fully lose track of time with... i started reading and now it’s 1:30am
i don’t mean to offend anyone but... when people cosplay slice of life manga characters why do they take the hair so... literally??? i get styling it if it’s like, braids or something or curling the ends or having bangs but??? miyamura’s hair isn’t spikey??? it’s just a medium length and sometimes he puts it up??? and sometimes it’s in his face???? idk man it’s just... i guess it’s the style of cosplay i know nothing about cosplay but miyamura is so specific and it’s nothing that stylized or cool... he’s just a kinda frumpy dude with feminine features who grows into himself, that’s all
also i was gonna eat the food i brought from home for dinner today at work and then i got super busy and i ate one (1) piece of beef jerky and half a donut and that was it... wow...
the chapters on miyamura’s past are so heavy that i forget sometimes that hori’s parents are the embodiment of absolute chaos... like goddamn i really wanna know what they both do for a living to be that crazy. like??? is her mom a doctor? nurse? does her dad work overseas if he’s gone for like 2 years at a time? i wanna knowwwww
Dream log body aches and chaos edition... I was wandering through a city alone? I think initially I was invited to itsblitz house for something with her and her bf, maybe it was an asmr vid idk but they werent home yet and I was wandering their empty apt alone which was spooky and then they came home and their house had a bunch of windows with automated blinds and it changed the lighting of the house so much. Then her bf showed me this thing under the windowsill where they were holding onto like 3 caskets of people they knew (WITH THEIR BODIES INSIDE) it was like people who worked for them but idk if it was kindness bc they couldn't be buried yet or what but I'm pretty sure he opened one casket and the corpse moved... And then I decided to leave and explore NYC on my own and there was a bakery Cafe thing that was selling bread and no one was there yet and so I went and bought too much bread it was like if pastries were the size of full on bread loafs and so the cashier I think was flirting? With me? I only bought the bread but they gave me a free plate of cut up watermelon and a fork and they were like 'it's really nice to sit upstairs by the windows and eat some fruit while looking out over the city' and so when I turned around after ordering there was a bunch of people in the Cafe and bestdressdt was sitting in a corner working and I had to squeeze by everyone to sneak upstairs and the one window had a view of the ocean??? And then I looked closer and it was a penguin enclosure? They looked like ocean bowling pins... And then i looked even closer and it was the lobby of a children's hospital and they could come out and see the penguins? So I took a walk down there and there was a bunch of security to get inside and Lucy Liu was working/volunteering? At the reception desk and I wanted to go in but I didn't want to bother them so I left
Idk if this was the same dream but then I went to a theme park/downtown area place with family? And we were in line for a ride but the lounge was stupid long and there were friends with us I think j was there and N was there in front of us? We were catching up and she had like, glittery suntan lotion on. And it was stupid hot and everyone was squirting water bottles at each other in line and no one was wearing masks. I think I went inside to another building at some point and someone rode a scissor lift to a second story via ramp and didn't die or break the lift and they were vv proud. Also? Idk where? But piles and piles of letters from my grandma and I only read the ones on top and she was saying that she was leaving for a retirement/care facility but she had all these requirements and it had to be on the ocean and this and that and she already walked to all these places to check it out and stuff. Somewhere mixed in there was a plan to rebrand and combine a bunch of places in the mall/theme park and it was all WEIRD
idk if it’s just years of writing reports and emails but sometimes i look at other people’s reports and emails and i just... it took you that long to word it that poorly???? ://///
there’s so many little nuances in horimiya that are just... so hard hitting that i forget about all the time... the redemption arc for tanihara??? like??? they could have just left him as a villain and walked away from it but there’s so much more to his relationship with miyamura and the trauma they associate each other with, and they let it impact the way they continue to grow and learn... i think it’s effective bc it’s not just drama for drama’s sake, it’s whole handed character development and background that honestly changed their lives forever. no matter how good it may be for miyamura now, that kind of never leaves him? you see his childhood resentment turn into understanding with age and it hurts so much more bc it makes him that much more real
yall ever just feel deeply and inexplicably sad
i don’t know what to do sometimes when it feels like the sadness is crawling up my throat
i feel so so so exhausted i feel like every thirty minutes i’m just taking a deep breath and trying to convince myself to get through the next thirty minutes
me, for the past 10 years of my life: wait??? is this depression thing not normal?
Tracey x Franklin: Just Friends
Summary: Tracey De Santa, a college freshman, has a crush on the most popular boy on campus, Chad Dillington. Determined to win his heart, she turns to her best friend Franklin Clinton for help. However, she never expected to start developing feelings for her best friend instead...
Word Count: 5.8k
Tags: Fluff!! And more fluff!! Slow burn. Friends to Lovers. (Post Ending-C)
Read on Ao3
Franklin barreled through the door of my room.
Carefully applying my eyeliner in the mirror, I glanced at him. Chiseled jaw clenched and hands balled into fists, a frown marred the space between his arrogantly shaped brows. His strong, muscled arms wired tight beneath his white T-shirt, he stood at the ready for battle.
His cognac-brown eyes searched my room from top to bottom for unknown threats. “Tracey? You good?”
“Um, duh. I’m always fine.” I returned my attention to my makeup. “I’m gonna need you to tone down some of that masculinity. It’s totally uncalled for, super distracting, and it’s ruining my good vibes—”
His warm hand came down on my shoulder. I stiffened, his eyes shrewd and accessing as they bored into me. “You sent me a text saying that you were dying, that you needed my help. You sure you good?”
His voice was soft, filled with concern. My gut kicked. Maybe I shouldn’t have sent that overly dramatic text, but desperate times called for desperate measures. I needed help. Badly. Dad was always busy doing movie director stuff, Mom was too preoccupied with shopping and yoga, and Jimmy was a complete idiot, so Franklin was the only person I could rely on.
It’s been that way for months. He picked me up from school, assisted with my homework, helped me take selfies for Bleeter, talked me through every one of my frequent mental breakdowns—he was a life saver, literally. Because he was so selflessly awesome, I decided to keep him around. Mostly because he did stuff for me, but he also had a nice personality to boot.
And we looked hella good together. Whenever we were out and about in the city, people would stop and turn their heads to gawk at our beauty. I was a celebrity after all, the sexiest girl in Los Santos according to my Bleeter stalkers. And Franklin was powerfully built, dark-haired with stunningly amber eyes. He was a man who looked absolutely gorgeous just about every day of his life. It seemed effortless for him, and I would’ve resented that if weren’t besties.
I confessed, “I lied to get you here, okay?”
“Tracey…” Sighing, he pinched the bridge of his nose. “You scared the shit outta me, girl. What were you thinking—”
“Don’t be mad. I’m sorry.” I hugged him.
The tension in his muscles relaxed beneath my touch. I took his hand and flopped down on my bed. He sat beside me, our fingers intertwined. “A’ight, Trace. I’m here now, so what’s going on with you?”
“I have news,” I smiled. “The best news. You’re not gonna believe this, but Chad Dillington asked me on a date!”
He stared at me, his expression blank.
“Well?” I tapped his shoulder. “Say something! Aren’t you excited for me?”
“Who the fuck is Chad Dillington?” he asked.
“Are you kidding me?” Energy thrumming through me, I jumped to my feet. “He’s like the hottest, most popular guy at my university! He’s a quarterback for the football team, a committed member of the Alpha Omega Theta Pi—”
“The Alpha Omega what?”
“It’s a fraternity, Frank! Chad Dillington is a big effing deal, literally every chick on campus wants to bone him. He has the prettiest blue eyes and the cutest smile ever.” I twirled on my heels. “I can’t believe he chose me of all people to go on a date with. This is so, like, amazing!”
“That’s cool, I guess.” He shrugged. “You called me over here just to tell me that?”
“No! If there’s any hope in winning Chad Dillington’s heart, I’ll need support. Your support and guidance, in particular.”
His brows furrowed. “Uh…why?”
“Because you can help me understand him! Guys know what other guys are thinking, right? You and Chad have so much in common too. You’re both around the same age, you both like getting sweaty at the gym, you both like getting high—”
“No offense, Trace, but me and that preppy ass frat boy ain’t got shit in common. I’m sorry, but I’m finna pass on this one. Maybe one of yo’ friends at school can help you.” He stood and took off for the door.
“Wait!” I swerved in front of him, blocking the exit with outstretched arms. “You’re right, there are some stuff you and Chad don’t have in common. Like, for example, he’s way smarter than you and his parents are filthy rich.”
Franklin glared a hole into me, a muscle in his jaw twitched. Yikes. Probably shouldn’t have said that.
“But you’re sane,” I complimented. “Sensible, wise beyond your years, and levelheaded. You’re playing with a full deck, Frank. That’s a rarity in Los Santos, you know? Everyone here is crazy.”
“Including you,” he snapped.
“But you love me.” I hugged his muscled arm. “You’re like the ping to my pong, the yin to my yang, the butter to my bread, the chocolate to my milkshake…”
“That was cute until you mentioned the part about chocolate. Now it’s weird.”
“Frank, you have to help me!” I pleaded desperately; my mouth set in a pout. “I’m your best friend, you can’t abandon me when I need you most. It’s not fair! I’ll hate you forever if you do—”
He smothered my mouth with his palm, silencing me. “Fine, I’ll help you on one condition. No more whining and crying like a damn baby, it’s embarrassing. Makes my ears bleed, it’s horrible.”
I smacked his hand away. “Deal. Now shut up and listen.” Standing on the tip of my toes, I spoke quietly into his ear. “Chad invited me to a masquerade ball. It’s a top secret, invitation only party the fraternity is hosting at some old, underground speakeasy—”
“Girl, why you whispering?”
“Because it’s a secret. Mom and Dad can’t know about this, they’ll freak out. Promise me you won’t tell them. You know how overprotective they are, they never let me have any fun.”
“It’s all good, relax. Your secret is safe with me.”
“Swear on it.” I rose my pinky.
“I promise.” His finger curled around mine. “So the most popular douche bag motherfucker in school invites you to an invitation only masquerade ball…”
“Could you refrain from calling him a ‘douche bag motherfucker’, please?” I rolled my eyes. “Anyway, all the cool kids are gonna be there. The party is happening this weekend. Friday night. I only have two days to prepare. This is so short notice, I haven’t even picked out a dress.”
“Hey, you could always cancel.”
“No! A date with Chad Dillington is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I can’t back out now. I have to do this.” My stomach grew queasy and my hands wouldn’t stop shaking. I paced the room, my fingers laced taut until my knuckles turned white. “What if I screw everything up? What if he doesn’t like me?”
Franklin appeared in front of me. I jerked to a halt, riveted to the spot as his searching gaze burned into me, glimmering with golden flecks. Lost in the intensity of his eyes, something shifted in the air between us.
As he stared back, he changed…as if the impalpable wall he kept between us began to chip and splinter. His tough, guarded demeanor crumbled before me, revealing a soft vulnerability in his eyes. A tenderness I had no clue he was capable of.
He patted my shoulder and squeezed lightly, affectionately. My skin tingled from the warm, steady pressure of his touch. “Of course the frat boy is feelin’ you,” he said softly. “He’d be crazy not to.”
My cheeks heated. Since when did he become so flattering? “You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” I mumbled.
“Nah. I mean it.” He reached into his pocket for his phone and started tapping away at the keyboard.
I peeked at the screen. “What are you doing?”
“If you’re going to a ball, you gotta know how to dance.” He pulled up a Bleeter video of dancers clad in silk doing the Waltz. “Think you can do that?”
“Uh, I dunno. Last time I tried to slow dance with a guy was at high school prom. I slipped and twisted my ankle in front of everyone. Super embarrassing.”
“Let’s make sure you don’t trip this Friday, a’ight? We can practice together.” He propped his phone on my desk and took my hand in his, the other rested on the small of my back. “You ready?”
Our eyes locked, I nodded weakly, my breath coming in short and fast. The contact was electric, I could feel the edgy energy radiating from him—like a magnetic pull that grew harder to reject by the second. He started moving, his strapping body gliding across the carpeted floor with confidence and easy rhythm. Jeez, when did he get so good at this? He was a natural! My knees wobbly, I followed his lead to the best of my ability.
I felt so small and insignificant in comparison to him, my movement stiff and awkward. And it didn’t help that I was petite, barely over five feet, and he was huge—a tall, deep brown slab of solid muscle and well-exercised strength. The force of his presence was difficult to ignore in a crowded room, and doubly so in an enclosed place like this, so close to me…
After a few beats, the heat of his direct, prolonged gaze became overwhelming. I lowered my head shyly.
“Chin up,” he instructed, tipping my head upward with a gentle push of his thumb under my chin.
Sucking in a harsh breath from the mind-boggling intimacy, I lost my footing and tripped over my own feet. He caught me in his arms just before I collided with the floor, his strong-featured face hovered over mine. Hit with all that striking masculinity at eye-level, I could only stare. Stunned. His beard was well-groomed, complimenting the hard lines of his square cut jaw, and his lips were like the icing on the cake…the fullness gave his rugged good looks the perfect touch of sensuality.
He helped me to my feet. “That wasn’t part of the dance, Trace.”
“No shit, Sherlock.” Pinching my lips together, I kicked a tube of old nail polish across the floor. “I’m never going to get this right. I’m so screwed.”
“It ain’t the end of the world. You still got time. Don’t give up, girl.”
“I wish I could be as optimistic as you are.” I sighed. “I’m sorry for being a bitch. There’s a lot of pressure on me and I’m taking it out on you.”
“It’s all good. I’m used to you being bitchy. I’m used to the screaming temper tantrums—when you beat yo’ fists against the floor and your legs start flailing like a fish outta water …” He grinned.
My stomach dropped. “It’s not funny.”
His laughter quickly faded. “My bad.”
An awkward silence filled the room. Twisting a finger around the hem of my blouse, I broke the quiet. “I’ve been working on my temperament with Doctor Friedlander. Do you think I’m getting any better?”
He leaned against the wall, his hands tucked casually into his jean pockets. “You haven’t had any episodes recently.”
“Because you calm me down right before I snap. Every time.”
“So why are wasting stacks on therapy, then? You’ve been seeing a therapist for what? Years? And you were still having panic attacks until…”
“Until you came along,” I completed his sentence. “I don’t want to become so dependent on you, Frank. It’s like, totally unfair to you.”
“Shit, I don’t mind. I ain’t going nowhere, unless you want me to—”
“No!” My heart lurched at the thought of losing him. Shocked by the fury of my reaction, I took a careful step away from him. “You wouldn’t leave me. You’d miss me too much.”
He stared at me for a moment, silent and thoughtful, his brow quirked.
I tensed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“Uh, no reason.” He lifted the brim of his black Los Santos snapback to scratch his head. “I should probably bounce. It’s getting late, and you got class in the morning.”
“Wait.” I passed him his phone and gave him a brief good-bye hug. “Do you think you could give me some guitar lessons after school tomorrow? Music class is kinda kicking my ass. I could use the extra help.”
“Yeah. Of course. No problem.” He chuckled, seemingly nervous for some reason. “I ain’t the best with the guitar, but uh, I know a few things so…”
“Are you kidding? You’re way better at it than me.”
“Slightly better.” His teeth gleamed in a smile. “A’ight. I’ll hit you up tomorrow.”
I was a little bummed about him leaving, but he was right. I needed the rest so I could wake up bright and early tomorrow. I returned a smile. “Bye, Frank.”
“Bye, Trace.” He turned to leave but stopped at the door, his gaze shifted to me. “By the way, you don’t have to lie to get me here. You ain’t gotta send no dramatic texts or nothin’ crazy like that. If you need to see me, whatever the reason, just…call. I’ll be here in a heartbeat.”
A pang struck my heart. I swallowed deep, fumbling for words. Before I managed to find my words, he was gone.
With a heavy sigh, I collapsed on my bed. What was the matter with me? Why were my brain cells starting to fry around Franklin? I had a huge date planned with Chad Dillington, but for some reason, I couldn’t stop thinking about my best friend.
My phone vibrated on my nightstand. I grabbed it and found two new texts from Franklin.
Still thinking bout how tripped over your own damn feet earlier.
Girl, you clumsy.
Oh my god. With an embarrassed grin, I texted him back; Wow. You sure know just what to say to boost a girl’s confidence :P
He responded a minute later. What if I told you that I like when you’re clumsy? I get to pick you up whenever you fall.
I read the message with wide eyes and then powered down my phone, my nerves danced wildly in my stomach. There was an ache in my chest, and I rubbed at it. Jeez. Pull yourself together, Tracey…
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Thrawn Ascendancy: Chaos Rising (Chapter One - Chapter Four)
Heavy spoilers below!
Space outside Chiss borders is known as “the Chaos”
Space is very difficult to navigate due to (according to legends within the text itself) a “series of chained supernova explosions” that sent a massive, chaotic chain reaction throughout the region, resulting “in the constantly changing hyperlanes,” hence the need for sky-walkers.
The Chaos also holds “dangers... hidden worlds and tyrants who sought conquest and destruction.” Dun dun dun!
General Ba’kif seems to be on the same level, intelligence wise, as Thrawn. It is a good pairing thus far. Zahn gets to show Thrawn being super smart and observant without it being too much.
Excellent summation of Thrawn:
loves chasing down enigmas and working through puzzles
sees connection where others can’t/couldn’t
higher-ups don’t want him anywhere near them
only sees the surface situation and misses the political subtleties
I like this Samakro guy. No-nonsense and straight to the point.
Thrawn really is the only Chiss, really the only person, who talks the way he does. Making him stick out all the more. Who taught him to talk like that? Where did he learn how to talk like that? I need some more background on lil’ Thrawn!
“subsequent death of Syndic Mitth’ras’safis and the loss of valuable alien technology.”
don’t do that to us Zahn, damn
Outbound Flight slowly coming back into canon, piece by painful piece (Thrass!! Lorana! C’baoth!?... we will have to wait and see)
So, my first impression of sky-walkers is that they are like children caught in a messy, contentious divorce. At least in the case of Ali’astov, she is used like a pawn between fighting parties and kind of neglected until deemed useful again.
world-building: sky-walkers abilities typically last until they are age 14
Thrawn is genuinely nice to kids/tweens and connects with them so well. That is really sweet.
Al’iastov comes across as pessimistic and sulky but to be fair to her - she was taken from her home at a young age, lost her Third Sight ability, and is now being shunted to a new family. That is a lot for a 13-year-old.
Thalias joined the Mitth family because one person from that family showed her a bit of kindness. Yikes.
Her early life suggests it was unstable at best - got punted around to different caregivers.
And does Thalias have a crush on Thrawn or just a strong attachment?
Good to see there is plenty of bureaucratic bullshit within the Ascendancy (I say, sarcastically) on top of the politics.
who alerted Thurfian he needed to help Thalias? I have to assume they have systems in place for detecting this, but he came in at just the right time.
So it had been two decades since Thalias “had to even read a military timetable”... so is she 33-ish?
Thalias finds the sky-walker playing some sort of “tap-click game on her questis.”
Is that some sort of Chiss version of Angry Birds or Candy Crush?
Does this mean there are app/game developers within the Chiss workforce? Interesting...
Che’ri - means “beloved,” “cherished,” “darling”, “sweetheart” in French
nearly 10 years old
odd comment: “sky-walkers tended to be on the short side.” What does that mean?
had eight caregivers before Thalias shows up?! Dang.
cute quote: “I am not supposed to talk like that about people.”
Yeah, just not in public!
nut-paste sandwiches are now canon!
Thrawn must have been a cat in a past life because:
he is sneaky
he is quiet
he has a hard time relating to actual people with few exceptions
he needs constant care because if not, he will inevitably mess something up
Ar’alani: Thrawn, what in the flying fuck do you think you’re doing?! Get back into formation!
Thrawn: reads the message, does not respond
this jerkwad. I love him. And poor Ar’alani, she has been dealing with him for years, if not decades!
Ar’alani: Mind keeping me in the loop going forward?
Thrawn: mmmm... maybe.
Thrawn: “I’ve had the protocols concerning preemptive attacks carefully and specifically laid out for me.”
Yeah, I bet you have.
Samakro thoughts: “Just because the protocols had been laid out for him didn’t necessarily mean he’d listen.”
Irizi’ar’alani - her full name. :) Had to give it up when she joined the military.
Mitth family cannot be bothered to show up for their adopted son’s hearing. Eesh.
Ar’alani has literally been saving Thrawn’s neck since their school days.
Ar’alani is good at reading a room, calling for backup when needed, and condensing/explaining information. No wonder she is a good leader. No wonder Thrawn relies on her!
Senior Captain Wutroow: “bogus. Totally bogus. Bogus to the ninth, factorial.”
I love her already
She and Ar’alani make a solid team. Ar’alani comes across more by-the-book and stately, whereas Wutroow seems a bit more loose and crafty.
I am really enjoying getting to learn more about Ar’alani. Zahn wrote her so well.
Again, the Mitth family letting Thrawn out to dry. Why adopt him then?! You can’t even help out your adopted son!?
Thrawn is known for being that fucking guy who loves art all the way up to the higher echelons of power. He is an outcast and the butt of a joke to his own kind. It’s funny and a bit sad (but mostly funny).
It makes me so uncomfortable that sky-walkers are told/encouraged to push on and on and on some more, despite the heavy toll on them. Reminds me a bit of America’s grind till you die approach to work and of the Soviet Union’s hard push to make everyone perform at impossibly high standards. These are little kids and tweens. Cut them some slack.
Zahn really nailed down the sad/pathetic narcissism kids/tweens have at that age - everything is her fault, everything happens because of her.
Get the girl some therapy, STAT.
A bit weird that a 10-year-old girl needs a bath drawn for her, but maybe the overload spell is akin to a really bad hangover or the flu. You cannot function properly and need some help.
Samakro got some sass.
the chapter ending is so gold:
“You think there’ll be combat at the other end of this trip?”
“Thrawn’s there,” Ar’alani reminded her. “So, yes, I’d say that’s pretty much guaranteed.”
I have noticed Zahn really likes to use the word wince, so I’m going to count all the times the word is used throughout this novel for sh*ts and giggles. Thus far: 5 cumulative uses of the word.
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Watch “Flower of Evil“ with Me!
welcome back to another post of me thirsting over joongi and hojoon and jiwon-jiejie !
last episode we had to see that jiwon-unnie now knows about what joongi has been up to and hiding from her
i have my ramen, i have my water, my laptop is plugged in
as the man who literally cannot catch a break mark lee would say, lezgeddit
joonngi is post accident in ‘05 laying in someone else’s bed
i can only assume it was the
HIM AND FUCKING TAKING OUT IVS I SWEARR TO GOD
lmao i think i have the same bedframe at home lakjdjfdk
AND I THINK ITS THE STYLE THAT ZHOUMI USED IN STARRY NIGHT KOR VERSION
isOH FUCK IT IS
THIS IS JOONGI’S PARENTS HOUSE THO IM ASSUMING THAT THEYRE LYING FOR SOME REASON
i mean we know they are but
he said we grabbing shit now lads
WAIT I THOUGHT JOONGI’S MOM WAS REALLY HIS MOM WHAT THE FUCK
oh no jiwon...
oh he’s back now
OH IS THAT A SHOULDER I SEE *EYES EMOoh s
CONGRATS TO THE BOTH OF YOU
thts a lot of breathing there bud
O H S H I T
“slept in” 8:55 i
it something deffo did get released last night
show the front
why is he so red what
she put a tracker in it huh
if she didnt shes foolish
is that a juiscer?
AWEHHHH EUNHA LOOKS SO CUTEEEEEE
THE LIL PIGGY TAILS OMG
joongi and i are *eyes emoji*
the avoidance but the truth ugh her mind
eunhaaaa!!!! favorite character only
who the fuck is everyone else we only know fuck i dont remember joongi’s last name in this show
FUCK THAT’S RIGHT ITS BAEK
anyways baek eunha only character i care about
not at how i was deffo ready to write cha
oh tractor supply was kinda fun to go in when i went with my friend last year
anyways back to the show
YEAH JIWON I WANT TO KNOW TOO
I WANT TO KNOW WHY THEY ARE TOO
omg her background is flower of evil
oh okay we back in time
ok ok ok
oh i sure do hope that the cleaning lady/witness was able to keep her i.d. a secret
oohhhh reporter-nim cleaned up nice
OH FUCK THATS HORRIFYING
jesus thats terrifyign
oh shit her liscense was revoked too
oh it’s joongi’s sister
the fact that i just realized that jiwon unnie hasnt met joongi’s sister as an in-law but as a suspect instead
who is the second guy i dont lilke this
i want to keep so many of these characters safe gOD
we said blood
oh he replacing the lcok
i just love her phone so
FOOD CHANNELS LOVE ITTTT
THEATS SO DORKY HES SUCH A DORK
but it’s not a dateu is it :(
show me joongi earrings PLEASE HE HAS THE PIERCING HOLES JUST SHOW ME WITH HIM WEARING THEM
@ anyone who’s further ahead of me please tell me it happens
oh dear god
ive never wanted to see something less than drunk karaoke with reporter-nim and his boss
colgate is trying to tell me something about my teeth huh
bold of them to assume >:~[
oh his social media followers
aldskfjlasdk chanting wait a minute im sick
and joongi said Oop
you act like he hasdnt have you tied up but weeks ago
oh jesus joongi....baobei...
reporter-nim took back his trust
ofc its going to glass
LETTUCE AND PEPPER ROBBERIES I LOVE IT
look at hojoon looking like a snack a half im so in loveee
wht a dorky lil man
choi is gonna say ist bs
cutekajf;aksdjf LETTUECE WRPAS
jiwon said y e e t
perks of being a cop i guess
oh baby joongi is lying isnt he
didnt like that part of this show
fuck seeing the blood is better than hearing joongi fake dad cut his nails
YOU LEFT A LOOSE END DUMDUM SUCKER BOY
damn does no one trust him in this fucking town
damn fake!dad said it’s parenting time
two people have told him they dont trust him in the span of like 12 hours christ
i saw the spoler gifs too so i know [redacted] happens as well
literally just like???
leave the country???
yeah you better fukcign look after jiwon and eunha you dick
joongi lips pink i
please let me see the earrings
E W FEET I HATE IT
OH SHIT THE SISTER
ALSDKFJASLDK THE BOSS IS SO FUNNY
you look like shit bud
it his exxxx
FUCKING COMMERICALS I WANTED THE OCMEDY BREAK
FIRST LOVE HOLY SHIT
17 YEARS OH MY GOOD GOD
boss lady said on god we gon get you that respect
lil joongi’s answers sound very rehearsed
like obviously thats supposed to be the point im guessing but still
show all the videos
and she has access to it now
we are looking intently
OH OH THERE IT IS
WITH THE MF KEYCHAIN AND EVERYTHING
WAIT WHAT ARE YOU DOING
its okay i will give you attention
let us hear what the tape is
is that evens till working?
oh this uhhhhh
this is incredibly awkward
OH HEEJIN SHNAPPED BACK UGH I LOVE IT FOR HER
at least i think that’s her name
oops i guess she doesnt pass the vibe check
she really said i am shutting you down
ggirl just like tell him to get over it
literally calm the fuck down bro
its her decison not yours
*insert eye rolling gif*
theres something in the background of the acocomplice audio
oh and we are back to the old boss of joongi
that’s a grip
WAHT IS ON IT
ok me too mr owner guy
pharmacy grandmother aldkjfalksjd
cha-ssi is my favorite she said its payback time but in a subtle way ugh the cha women and their minds
i need everyone to understand that atm i dont necessarily care if i get the naming conventions right
OH M GYODN ALDKFJADSKJ
eunha zip up your backpack
shes so cuteeee hhhhh
i want to squish her lil dumpling cheekies
too advanced alkdfj;asldkj
get her a new fucking workbook
egg tarts work too i suppose
i just realized i can look up on line ‘lee joon gi earrings’
i feel like i know that noise too
its almost like....a clock?
a fucked up clock?
shes here as detective cha not as jiwonnie
man’s got to leave the country now :~/
me and joongi are O.O rn
he is not good at hiding his reactions anymore yinks
oh god her internoal monologe is
do his designs be keep the FUCK THEY DO BE KEEPING THE SAME LOOK SIRRAH
yes the fuck you can
IS FORCING PEOPLE TO RELIVIE THEIR TRAOUMAE
MADAME I AM ASKKING YOU TO NOT FORCE PEOPLEINTO THIS
i dont like it here anymore
i want my old jiwon joongi relationship back
EGGTART TIME YAY EUNHAAA
alkdfj;laskdjf;laksdjf;lkasjdf joongi mom looks so unhappy
eunha and her lil chubby cheekies
aslkdfjals;dk she said i dont want dad to scold you what a cuteie babie
that is uh
oddly out of character
i love that jg mami is essentially now the rosa “i’ve only had __ for x minutes” meme
you arent???? a police officer????
man look at the road
ugh i know they cant just be open about anything but GOD A LITTLE MORE COMMUNICATION WOULD HELP HERE I THINK
bro this is not your uhhhhh
this is not a date
jesus christ this is uncomfy
oh god *rolls eyes*
this needs to end right now plEASE GET MY GIRL OUT OF THIS SITUATION
I NEED HER TO LEAVE
that is so awkward
thats bold of you to assume
is heejin the OH MY GOD IS SHE
OH MY GOD
W H A T
MY JAW IS LITERALLY DROPPED
cant we just have one good fucking relationship dynamic on this stupid show
no one lives there anymore
hey guess what
thats ominous as fuck
that means you should go back in the car and forget all of this
was ist das?
did their mom not be part of this?
ew i cant stand that man
but his hair is a good style i will say that
their house used to look so cute too
i feel so bad for himmmm
google search how to wrap fictional characters up in a blanket and give them hearty soup until they feel better
and arent being physically brought back to their traumatic places by their wife
when am i going to see jiwonnie again im sick of dect cha
i mean thats uhhh
thats a turtle
i mean....we knows that
please hes being such a good actor at being a bad actor i want to see this
ok we back
just say you know
theyre going to the basement arent they
aiyah of course they are
I THOUGHT THAT
ARENT???? GUNS NOT USED?
nevemrind i just remembered choi
i am boo boo the fool
trauma epicenter here we be
:) HATE it here
god shes being
like okay i know obviously she has her reasons
but i am unfortunately super biased towards joongi...
so im like
i HTAE THIS
is that what the recording was
wa sthat his mom?
god my boy
PLEASE STOP BRINGING UP APST TRAUMAS
WE ARE GOING TO HAVE LIKE??? COUPLES THERAPY OR SOMETHING AFTER THIS IS SOLVED RIGHT???
WHY WOUDL YOU STAY WITH SOMEONE WHO DOES THIS?
my guess is either the mami died and that killed something in the dad or the dad killed her
CAN WE STOP PSYCHOLOGICALLY DOING THINGS LIKE THIS PLEASE I DEEPLY DO BE HATING TINGS
god he is literally trying so hard
that doesnt look well
oh hes gonna ralph ???
i really hate this
oh he is
yO WHAT THE FUCK
PANIC ATTACKS FUCK I DO HAT EIT HERE
LITERALLY LIKE YES
YES YOU DID
LADY BUT LIKE
FUCKING BRINGING PEOPLE TO THEIR SOURCE OF TRAUMA IS
IM SO STRESSED OUT FUCK
IM SORRY JIWON-SSI BUT YOU ARE NOW ON MY LESS GOOD BOOKS
and before nyone says anythign i would be saying this if it was like heejin or reporter-nim or like someone random
you shouldnt fucking do this to peopel
OH IT WAS A TEMPLE I KNEW I FUCKING RECOGNIZED THE SOUND
oh? is the ex-boss the acocmplixe?
probs not but wow would it be spicey if he were
aint nobody sleeping in that house peacefully EXCEPT MY GIRL EUNHA
literally bro just escape to some province in china its fine
oh thats what that gifset was about
does their bed not have sheets on it?
what the fuck???
yeah no one is sleeping
and we cut to reporter-nim
heejin...i literally have a list of people who need to be wrapped in blankets and the do siblings are at the top of this list
FUCK HER NAME IS HAESOO WHO THE FUCK IS HEEJIN THEN
i HAETE my brian
i FUCKING KNEW THERE WAS A TRACKER IN IT DIDNT I FUCKING CALL IT
i mean like yeah we knew it was going to happen but
he was so cute then lets go back to cute unstressed joongi
WHEN THE FUCK DID IT TURN TO FOUR THIRTY IN THE MORNING WHAT
OH FUCK OAY I DIDNT ERALIZE
thank go we’re at the end
STOP NO PLEASE DONT BREAK UP I STILL (regretatbley) HAVE FAITH IN Y’ALL’S RELATIONSHIP
anyways that’s the end of the episode we are all feeling it now mr crabs
i am old man screaming at clouds .jpeg rn and i jst want to go back to the beginning where they were cute and in love plesse
anyways thank you for reading!!!
stay safe and stay healthy<333
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