#I need to write more but ugh

[ofallthingsnasty]

I think we don't talk enough about some good old trope subversion with fat readers. You've been told your whole life that you're undesirable, that rarely anyone wants to fuck you - which has its perks. You blend in with the masses, you don't get groped on the bus, don't get followed home. Your fatness is security, an abstract shield that wards off a lot of unwanted attention.

Until it isn't. Until it's the very reason you wake up chained to a bed, with someone you've never seen before cooeing down at you. How horrifying it has to be, how sobering. You're a slab of meat like anyone else, in the end. It's just a matter of perspective.

#chubby reader #fat reader #tw.dark content #ugh i love that stuff... need to write more

[theloveinc]

Barbarian!Bakugo is a little bit… obsessed with lactation.

No, it’s not a new concept to him—he’s seen mothers feeding their children before, in fact, hardly ever put a thought to it.

But now that it’s you, now that it’s his child… it’s interesting to him. Beyond interesting, really. That someone he loves and desires so carnally can provide an almost irreplaceable service, one he is incapable of replicating despite how much he wants to provide for the both of you.

And he’d want to be present for most feedings anyway, both to bond and help ease the parenting load off your shoulders… but the whole time, he can’t take his eyes off your chest, where the little one is latched so safely and happy, suckling away as he stares in a protective haze, in awe. Blinking when baby blinks, wincing when you wince, his hands balling into fists when you sigh and the soft fat of your bosom jiggles.

He’s shy, though. Shy to admit his fascination despite how he asks to touch you one night, after the babe has been fed, swaddled and put to rest, and then rubs his fingers so gently against your nipple it starts to leak.

Bakugo looks at you under thick lashes, no blush because he’s seen you naked endless times, was there for the birth, but hesitant, almost… to do more than feel your raw areola underneath the rough pads of his fingertips. Even if, no sooner, does he put a thumb into his mouth to taste the few, silken drops of milk that escaped onto his skin.

Baby always eats first, of course, until plump and sleepy… but after that first touch, barbarian!Bakugo is no longer above licking up what’s left for him until your tits are relaxed and soft, then massaging you til there’s milk in abundance once more.

#bakugo #bakugou x reader #I wrote something similar to this before but I didn’t actually write the #toddy s*cking #but I also can’t really remember what I said #and also this isn’t very descriptive #so 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ #anyway it just makes me laugh to think of this big honking beast of a man to be staring at u all dumbfounded/concentrated #when ur nursing his kid #I wish there were emojis to describe the face I’m imagining 😐😲😠 combined #but he’s just so… intriqued #even if he knew that’s how it worked it’s like #that’s my wife……… my baby mama…… #😳 #esp cuz he’s always hunting he’s upset he can’t do more to help feed babba except keep u company #he’s so used to doing more #stick him with loin cloth duty LMDAOOOO KIDDING #anyway ugh have a brand new phone charger that keeps doing the unpluggy thing #might need to get that fixed #also my cat just took a fat sh*t and I can smell it #LOL I’m so tired #hope this was … tolerable!!! #caitie post #tw:lactation #fem reader #kids tw

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[fishyartist]

Ui idea tests, thrown together bc im eepy. Was planning on doing more but I spent all my days energy on the second one oops

#Danny phantom #I need to draw more or I’ll die <- guy who’s meds exhaust them #writing is so hard how do u not make everyone sound like you through a bad filter #Ik that’s unavoidable in some ways (like how art style will always look like u did it+not someone else) #but ugh. I’ll figure it out eventually takes practice+learning+all that #was planning on writing today but then I though ‘huh it might b fun to make some fake ‘’screenshot’’ concepts #also the portal basement has a more complex design but again #eepy #I think the gimmicky MySpace-inspired boxes r fun but idk how well I could keep that theme going w/ some characters #I also never used MySpace so that’s maybe just a kill issue #*skill lol #the command prompt one would basically just be for the portal #I keep saying that this project isn’t feasible buy my hyperfixated ass keeps trying anyways

[paimonial-rage]

Ask meme - 6 and 9 for the dragon men (zhongli and neuvillette) please!

This took so long I am so sorry, but here we go!

[Character Analysis Ask Meme]

What is Neuvillette's biggest insecurity?

Neuvillette’s biggest insecurity is not something he's ever tried to hide. Anyone that has spent enough time with the Iudex has probably heard him mention it before. Simply put, Neuvillette doesn't understand the emotions of humans very well. He never has and sometimes he doubts if he ever will? How many times has this flaw of his costed him dearly in the past? How many mistakes has he made? And how many are there yet to come? How he dreads the thought.

What can’t you trust [Neuvillette] with?

To chase after you - Iudex Neuvillette is many things—polite, kind, intelligent—but he is not a man without faults. Only a few know him well enough to realize he holds many regrets upon his shoulders, majority that were never his burden alone to bear. Should you ever become the source of one of these regrets, you can surely expect to know. With somber eyes and a weight upon his shoulders, he will apologize to you. But don’t expect anymore than that. Not understanding human emotions is not only his weakness, but a prison. He will not attempt to make things up to you nor will he try to make things how they used to be. You’re best off where he can hurt you no more, even if that means he will be left alone to the rain.

What is Zhongli's biggest insecurity?

Who knows lol.

What can’t you trust Zhongli with?

With mora - As knowledgeable and talented Zhongli is with many things, it is a surprise to many to hear that businessmen don’t exactly enjoy making deals with him. How can they when contract discussions always leave them with the [shorter end of the stick]? How many [unforeseen business expenses] do they end up incurring in such a short amount of time? In the end, they always lose more than they gained. What they don’t know is this unfortunate occurrence happens with any Mora dealings with the man. But what can you expect for someone that, by contract, has the Traveler liable for all expenses during his outings with them? It's simply best to leave all matters of mora out of any relationships with him.

With your heart - If there's one thing true about Zhongli, it's that, while he may withhold the truth, he does not lie. So when he speaks of a person warmly, they can very well believe his words to be true. That being said, it is important that one does not mistaken his warmth with depth. One cannot simply entrust their heart to him and expect his in return. How could anyone hope to understand the weight of many a millennia, after all? So while the desire may be cute, it'll never be something he would even consider to reciprocate.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #zhongli #neuvilllette #zhongli x reader #neuvillette x reader #character analysis ask meme #my writing #i am so sorry this took so long anon i have no excuses #not the happiest with these set of responses either #neuvillette’s insecurity answer is severely lacking #it’s so obvious that it feels too easy but like #the reason why i feel that way is because the answer doesn’t answer WHY tha5 is his biggest insecurity. WHY does it matter to him so much? #the obvious answer is that it is because he cares about humans but why?? #the answer i came to is that deep down he wants to be accepted by humans which is why he seeks to understand them but i am not sure #granted that’s just my gut answer. i need to do way more research but i already left you waiting too long #as for zhongli like….. ugh #my first answer for what you can trust him with was a cop out but like!!! #that’s because my second answer is like something i talk about alllll the time when i talk about zhongli OTL #i have a whole series surrounding it orz #i didn’t think anyone would want me to talk about it again so i came up with the cop out answer #but the cop out answer was such a cop out i ended up typing my original idea haha #so you get two answers that are kind of mediocre. i’m sorry. ;v; #all of my other answers for him would be more humorous #you can’t trust him with: common sense… bringing appropriate party cups… arriving to events on time #tho there’s no proof for it you gotta admit that he gives off the vibes of someone tha5 is chronically late to everything #and as for his insecurity like… typically old and ‘spiritually actualized’ people are of the hardest to analyze in terms of insecurities #he has no chinks in his armor #i will be working on your next ask though! hopefully it takes less time ;v;

[littlepissbabee]

John dory and guy diamond would be sooo interesting together because like their first interactions would probably be something like guy diamond yelling things like "YOU LET MY BABY DRIVE YOUR VEHICLE" at JD and hes just like "um her name is rhonda" and guy diamonds like "YOU LET MY B A B Y DRIVE YOUR R H O N D A" and its very wild and guy diamonds questioning why he ever liked brozone and then TINY DIAMOND pops uh like "daddeh stop yelling at uncle JD, i had my learners permit!!" And guy diamonds turns to look at his son so gosh darn quick and he yells out "W H O??!!??!!??!!" And its a whole mess

#why dont i write fanfiction #i have so many ideas and so little time #curse you job #AUUUGGGGGGHHHH #trolls #trolls band together #trolls world tour #? #ig #john dory #guy diamond #tiny diamond #itd be sooo fun to write this out #and omg imagine JD and floyd move in with branch and that causes the two to now be seen more around pop village #and guy diamonds quietly screaming inside because oh my god the guy who put my child in absolute danger now lives just a few steps away omfg #he'd be so dramatic abt it omg #ugh i love me #i also need to rewatch the movies

[cptnleviackerman]

╰─▸ ❝ jean kirstein ❞ ˋ*ੈ*⁀➷

content - dad jean, shy jean, cheating, divorce, jean has an ex wife, x f reader

I watched a movie last night and now all I can think about is single dad!jean who is just getting over his messy divorce. he's got a wonderful daughter who means the world to him, and he does everything he can to keep her safe and happy, and even though it's hard for him, he still makes sure she sees her mother as regularly as possible—even though it causes him massive amounts of pain to see how happy and carefree his ex wife is with her new partner.

best friend connie who keeps begging jean to go out to a bar for a couple drinks with him. he asks every single friday (and saturday), and jean is always adamant that he's just not ready to get back out there and start dating. but one night he finally caves and says yes, his daughter is spending the night with her mother and he doesn't want to sit alone is his small, despressingly bare apartment by himself. so he dresses up as best he can and meets connie for a drink. and that's where he meets you for the first time.

you catch his eye as soon as you walk in the room, and he's not the only one who's watching you. he sees a couple of dudes try and buy you a drink, and you shoot them down before they've even had a chance to introduce themselves. connie catches jean staring and practically drags him towards you, pushing jean into the chair opposite you and leaving as soon as he's introduced jean to you.

jean completely fumbles the interaction, he tries to use numerous pick up lines on you—all which fail—and his compliments are completely over the top and it's clear he has no idea what he's doing. you try to excuse yourself, but he practically begs you not to leave. upon realising what a terrible flirter he is jean decides to tell the truth about his situation, rather than pretend to be a flirt and a ladies man. he tells you it's his first time trying to pick up someone in a bar, and that he's never been any good at flirting. he tells you all about his messy divorce, and how he was cheated on and that it basically wrecked his entire life—the only positive from his marriage being that he has the most amazing daughter in the world. he tells you that he hasn't been on any kind of first date since he was 15 and that he has absolutely no idea how to approach a woman as beautiful as you.

you think his honesty is sweet, and that he's a much easier guy to talk to than anyone else in this stupid bar, so you ask him to take you home. he's embarrassed to take you to his apartment but you aren't paying the rooms or decor any notice. as soon as you get past the door your lips are attached to his neck, and you find out that although he cannot flirt for the life of him, he is an amazing kisser, and probably the most giving guy you've ever been with.

you leave the next morning, and he promises to call you. his heart hasn't felt as light as this since...he can't even remember. he thinks about you for days, but is so nervous to call you. all he can manage is sending a short text to you, saying [hi! hope you're doing well, thanks for the great night. I would love to see you again.] you smile when you receive it, but your job is so demanding that you don't get the chance to reply for a while and the text completely slips your mind as you prep for an important night of meetings.

jean doesn't feel good about how long it's been since he texted you, and he wants to see you again. soon. so he decides to call you after his daughter's parents teacher conference. he sits with his ex wife, awaiting their turn, outside of the classroom door. but when the teacher calls out to let them know that they can enter the classroom, he walks in and is met with the sight of you, standing behind the desk, arm extended ready to shake hands with the parents you'd just called in.

the woman he'd hooked up with from the bar was his daughter's teacher?

you sit in front of jean, utterly humiliated at the situation, and you watch as his face reddens when his ex wife notices the tension and begins to ask if the two of you had met before. you speak before jean can, and assure her that you've never met before, and that you're just feeling overwhelmed from all the parents you've met today. she seems to believe it, but when jean catches your eye and smiles uncharacteristically shyly, she feels a bubble of jealousy rise in her chest.

luckily the meeting goes without a hitch after that, their daughter is doing perfectly well in class, all she needs to do is try to participate in class discussions a bit more.

jean and his ex wife were your last meeting of the evening, and you watch as he hastily bids farewell to his ex, stumbling over his words and looking around nervously. you smile when he hangs around in the doorway after she's left, seemingly trying to find the courage to come and say something to you.

you finish collecting your things and walk towards jean, who's now pacing back and forth in the corridor. he jumps when he sees you, but smiles warmly at your presence. before you have the chance to say anything about how awkward that meeting was, words are tumbling from jeans mouth:

"im so sorry I haven't called you yet, I had absolutely no idea what to say to you and I didn't want to say the wrong thing and scare you off. which I now realise is stupid because you wouldn't have asked me to take you home if you didn't at least like me a little bit but I didn't want to come on too strong and—"

"jean, it's okay. just ask me to dinner."

"yeah? okay. will you have dinner with me...tomorrow?"

"yes, I'd love to have dinner with you."

the two of you walk out to the car park together, and jean opens your car door for you. he bids you goodbye, and tells you how much he's looking forward to dinner tomorrow. and you smile, a warm feeling blossoming in your chest as you reply that you can't wait to see him again.

tagging: @cowgirlikets (tysm for asking to be tagged !! love to u)

#he's so....babygirl #i adored writing for dad jean #i want to write for him more #imagine him all shy and blushing when the two of you go out together #ugh but also imagine dad jean dating someone younger than him and how conflicted he would be.... oh god i need him #want to come onto him and show him that just bc im younger doesnt mean he cant fuck me... #want to corrupt his morals...and have him corrupt me... #fuck i have to write this #anyways #jean kirstein x reader #jean kirstein fic #jean kirschtein x reader #jean kirschtein fic #jean kirstein x you #sage.blurbs

[so-long-soldier-writes]

Feeding 101

kai parker x reader

summary: damon was a great teacher during elena's transition, but he's less than helpful when kai escapes hell and needs to feed. luckily, you're there at the right place, right time, and offer to teach him, (much to damon's disapproval). | heretic!kai

tags: based on s08e13, mention of twilight, blood drinking, blood sharing, feelings, confessions, arguments, protective!damon but also protective!kai, mention of sex but no sexual content, almost kiss

word count: ~2.7k

You’re too busy texting to look where you’re going. A nervous text from Alaric; a warning, judging by his unusual use of the red exclamation + question mark emoji. You stumble to the bathroom to read it, wanting your reaction to be out of sights from the crowded diner. Mystic Falls has been a mess lately; no doubt it concerns the next big enemy. 

But as you burst open the nearest door, you catch the sight of two bodies occupying. Right as you turn to leave, you realize it’s Damon by the sink. 

“Oh, shit, sorry - wait, Damon?!” 

This is an uncommon place to find him. Usually, he’d be at the Mystic Grill or the Scull Bar. Never at the rather unkempt small diner on the end of the street. You, however, go there often, whenever you need to escape wandering eyes and small-town chatter. Damon, often both the cause of the eyes and the chatter, enjoys being in the center of attention. 

However, when you catch his gaze this time, his throat tightens in fear. “Y/N, out! Go!” 

His urgency scares you. Your eyes bounce around the room for the threat, wondering what’s so imperative that you hurry on your way out the door. 

You settle your attention on the figure beside him. Well, not one, but two. 

One man slouched against the wall, diner apron still loosely around his waist. Another man is holding him up by his shoulders, feeding on his neck.  

You startle at the sight, not expecting it. 

“Get out, Y/N!”

The man feeding is too caught up in his gig to notice your presence, but you soon start to recognize his shoulders. 

You stop, feet planted into the cement; fear becoming curiosity. “Is that Kai?”

“No!”

At the same time, the man in question lets the diner cook slump to the ground. He turns to Damon, unsuccessfully wiping blood off his face. “So that was-” he finally sees you, “hey, I remember you.”

“She’s leaving,” Damon answers. “Y/N, go!”

“Y/N, that was it!” 

You’re having trouble tearing your eyes from his face. Jesus Christ, he’s a messy eater. 

“Is this the big emergency Ric texted me about?!”

Damon shrugs, “probably.”

“As much as I love talking about Ric, I need to feed on more than just this big guy. I’ve been in hell for a long time, Damon, and-”

“I know! You’re hungry; I get it. We’re having a little problem right now of finding people that you can eat. It’s not like there’s a line outside of willing participants.”

You swallow hard.

Kai’s always made you feel a type of way you couldn’t explore. His bloodstained lips and teeth multiply that feeling tenfold, reminding you why you came to Mystic Falls in the first place. Vampires, witches, werewolves. You started out as a Twilight enthusiast looking for adventure, attending Whitmore College, but then became a valuable asset to the team. 

God, if Kai ever knew how hard it was for Elena to keep you away from him, you’d probably die inside. You fell for him hard. And now, staring at him in his full transition, you can already feel those tingles returning. 

“What are you guys doing?” You ask, genuinely curious. 

“Kai here says he can bring back Elena, but he needs to be strong enough to do the spell.”

Ah. You shift your feet nervously. Even despite what he did to your best friend, you can’t help your desire for him. “So you need to go,” Damon continues, “and not be a witness anymore, and we need to go find more bad people.”

“Why only bad people?”

“So that Damon doesn’t feel guilty for eating good ones,” Kai answers, to which Damon gives him a distasteful smile. 

“And, because like I said, you don’t exactly have anybody willing to be fed on, especially not by you. So we have to get a move on it if we’re to reverse this spell quickly, before Cade gets his hands on you.”

“Cade?”

“He’s coming for me, because I escaped Hell.” He glances down at the diner cook again, wondering if any of his blood is still fresh for a second round. “I really don’t want to go back there, to Hell, and every time I feed, I can feel myself getting stronger, so that’s great, in case I need to fight him.” Kai takes in the sight of you one last time before tearing his lust-filled eyes away. “So if we can find more people-”

“Feed on me.”

“What?”

“What?!” Damon repeats Kai’s question, but with extra dismay.

“You need to feed, but are having trouble selecting people. I’m a willing participant; feed on me.”

“Yeah, that’s a no.”

“C’mon, Damon, you want Elena back, and so do I, and I don’t know… I trust Kai won’t kill me.”

“Y/N, do you not see the dead guy slumped on the floor?”

“Yeah but Kai knows me. You both do. I’m not some villain, or some unimportant cook.”

“That man was very important,” Damon fakes, “he was doing his job, serving burgers-”

“He was forcing his hand on an underage girl,” Kai interrupts, “that’s why we picked him.”

“See? Eating people with a good cause. C’mon, Kai, I trust you. Just heal me back up when you’re done. Has Damon taught you how to do that yet?”

“No.”

“Okay, then I will.” You shrug off your coat, exposing your neck. “Come here. Pierce this vein,” you point, “and drink from it.”

“No!” Damon lunges for Kai when he steps closer to you. “Y/N, this is insane!”

“It’s fine! You’re being dramatic!”

“You’re being under-dramatic!”

“That’s not a thing.”

“It certainly is!”

“He isn’t going to drain me, I’m just giving him enough to make him stronger. You want Elena back, right? So do I. Kai, drink.”

The vampire steps closer, flicking his tongue against your neck. When your knees buckle at the sensation, he grabs your waist to hold you up. 

“You okay?”

“Mhm. Go ahead.”

Damon can only watch as Kai follows your instruction, biting down carefully into your jugular vein and beginning to suck. He was never so careful with his previous victims, and would let himself tear messily into their skin before finding his latch. Blood would stream down their neck and his chin, staining them both. You showing him where to latch makes his bite a lot cleaner. Instead of worrying about hurting you, he can focus his attention on keeping you upright. 

“Are you okay, Y/N?” Damon asks, also noticing your weak knees. 

“Mhm- yes.” You grab onto Kai for support. He pulls off to look at you, but latches back on when you nod the consent to continue. 

“Doesn’t look like that from here.”

“It’s just… intense. I’m okay.”

After a minute or two, your skin pales. Your body is weakening under Kai’s strong grip, and he realizes quickly, detaching his teeth from your neck. 

“Hey, what do I-”

“Bite here,” you point to his own wrist, “feed me your blood to heal me.”

“Bite here,” he repeats, situating his teeth on himself. He bites, then it bleeds. “Like Damon’s done?”

“Exactly.”

“Okay.” He pushes his wrist up to your mouth, almost force-feeding you. You would’ve grabbed onto his wrist and fed yourself, but the way Kai does it, like he’s desperate for you to heal, makes you wonder if he could really feel that way.

Within seconds, you start to feel like yourself again. The color returns to your face, and you get a little of your strength back. Most of it is turned to mush at the fact that he fed from you - he literally fucking fed from you; your heart is racing - but not all of your weakened state is due to overwhelming feelings. 

“Are you okay?”

“Mh- yes.”

“Are you sure?” Damon overrides, coming up behind you. 

“I’m good. Fuck,” you’re still trying to catch your breath, exhilaration coursing through you, “felt good.”

“Well it isn’t supposed to feel good,” the elder vampire comments. 

“I, um, I just meant… the healing part of it did. Felt good to have my strength back.”

“Mhm, sure.”

“I didn’t hurt you?” Kai asks, head tilted.

“No, you didn’t. You’re okay.” He smiles, then brushes a loose hair from your face. You have a suddenly overwhelming urge to kiss him, but doubt Damon would like that very much. Instead, you point towards the sink, then at his bloodstained mouth. “Let me clean you up, okay? Can’t go anywhere with dead line cook all over your face.”

Kai takes a step back to let you reach the sink, while Damon tries not to be dumbfounded at how okay you are with this whole situation. 

You wet a paper towel and add a teensy bit of hand soap, then beckon Kai forward. 

“Thanks for teaching me how to feed properly,” he says, watching the first bit of blood wash down the drain. 

“Of course. I don’t know why Damon didn’t-”

“-because that’s not my job, Y/N. And it wasn’t yours, either.”

“Still. There’s a huge bloodstain on the wall now, and that one certainly isn’t my problem.”

“We’ll just leave it for the cleaning lady. Put an ‘Out of Order’ sign on the door.”

“Nice,” you reply dryly. 

“Hey, while I was feeding,” Kai says suddenly, “I felt this rush go through your body that I hadn’t tasted before. Is that normal?”

Damon’s heart drops to his toes. “It was fear,” he tries to say. He knows you had a crush seven years ago, and Kai does not need to learn about it now.

“I’m asking Y/N.”

“I, um… yeah, I mean, normal sometimes. Blood sharing can be really personal, so since you weren’t feeding to kill, it’s not…” you glance over to Damon, who’s making gestures of cutting off a head to make you stop talking, “it’s, uh, normal.”

“It’s personal? Like how?”

Damon’s eyes roll all the way to space. He slaps a hand to his forehead. 

“Um, like… well… that level of trust that I put in you, coupled again, with the fact that you weren’t feeding to kill. Sometimes it can stir up, uh, feelings.”

“Feelings?”

“Oohkay, Y/N, you’ve done enough!”

“I don’t know how to explain it!”

“Blood sharing is personal because you’re feeding off one another in a really intimate way, sometimes more intimate than sex. Now, Kai, another important thing you’re gonna learn about being a vampire is compulsion. Compel her to forget this ever happened.”

“What?” You step back in surprise, “no!”

“Come on, Y/N, it’s for your safety. He doesn’t have any feelings anyway.”

“No! Damon-”

“For the record, I feel things sometimes. Remember - hello - merge with Luke? And before that, I could feel, I just didn’t know what I was feeling.”

“Neat. Great. Compel her anyway.”

“Damon!”

“No! She doesn’t want it. I’m not gonna force something on her that she doesn’t want.”

“I bet this guy didn’t want to die, did you think about that?”

“That’s different. She’s different. She matters.”

“Oh, great.”

“You just said blood sharing is really intimate, so why would I compel her when she doesn’t want it when we practically just had sex?”

“That is not what I said!”

“It is, too!”

Damon sighs, “you compel her because it’s for her own good! Because she should never be caught doing anything with the likes of you. You’re only gonna get her killed.”

“I didn’t get her killed just a minute ago when I was feeding on her.”

“Because she showed you how! Otherwise, you would’ve just ripped into her neck like this other guy here.”

“No, I wouldn’t have fed on her at all if she didn’t teach me, because I’ve never wanted to hurt her.”

Damon throws up his hands. “God! Kai, why?!”

“Oh, is it suddenly bad that I care about someone?! I thought that’s all you ever wanted from me. And now I do, and I’m the bad guy again?”

“You were never the good guy, I-”

“Okay, just stop it!” You interrupt, putting hands between the men. “This is ridiculous.”

“His apparent, sudden feelings for you are ridiculous!”

“I’ve had a crush on her since the day I merged with Luke,” he blurts out.

“What?” You and Damon say in unison, both now looking at him. 

He sighs. “You were there for Bonnie’s birthday and helped us all send a message to her. But after my sister stabbed me and Damon healed me with his blood, you were the one that cleaned me up and made sure I was okay. I always thought you were cute, but from that day on, I don’t know, I just felt something.” He looks down, embarrassed. “I never said anything because I’m, well, me, and you’re you - this super sweet and gentle and caring person, and I would be nothing but wrong for you. And the only reason I agreed to feed on you today was because I am really hungry, and your blood smells just so good, and you were willing to teach me how to do it without hurting you.” He pauses, “I’m sorry for lying to you, and I’m sorry for causing such a big fight, and for letting this get out, but that’s the truth.”

“You had a crush on me,” you say, not really as a question. Kai looks up, unable to read your tone, hoping your face gives you away. He expects mocking, certainly not the excitement you seem to have instead. 

“Yeah.”

“Damon,” you turn suddenly, “did you hear that?”

“Yep, all three times, Y/N.”

You turn back to Kai, expression unreadable. “For the record-”

“Y/N, don’t-” Damon attempts. 

You ignore, “I’ve always had a crush on you, too.”

A smile tugs at the edge of his lips. “You have?”

“Even before the merge, I liked you, but then after it, watching you navigate the world, I couldn’t help but fall head over heels. I wanted to help you through it more but somebody…” you glance at Damon, “held me back.”

“For good reason-”

You interrupt him again. “But yes, Kai, I like you.”

“Even as a heretic?”

“You think I’d let just anyone feed on me? Let alone a baby vamp who I literally just watched rip open another guy’s neck?”

He smiles. “Got it.”

“If anything, it was hot.”

“Y/N-”

“You learning control on me was hot, too, but that display of near-rabid vampirism was also super hot.”

“Y/N-” Damon warns again, not liking the direction of the conversation.

“And yeah, I wouldn’t share my blood with just anyone. So, yes, Kai, I think it’s safe to say I like you even as a heretic.”

Kai’s hand finds its way to the side of your face. An overwhelming urge to kiss you settles in his bones. 

“Nope-” Damon speeds forward to separate you. “You can talk about your weird, gross, feelings, but we aren’t going any further with them today.” 

“Alright, alright.”

“Damon,” you warn, not liking the grip he has on Kai’s shirt. “Easy.”

“Oh, he’s fine. He’s a big, strong heretic now, right?” He pushes him hard into the wall.

Kai groans, pain coursing through his body for a mere second before any bruises heal themselves. 

“Damon!” You come to his side. “Let go.” Luckily, he does. Kai makes another, lower groan as his body is released from the man’s clutches. You try to not let it go to your head. “Can we just… go do whatever it is you were doing earlier now? This guy is starting to smell.”

Damon looks at him, then at the two of you. “Fine, whatever. Y/N, I’m assuming I can’t shake you off?”

“Nope.”

“Alright. Then let’s go make enemies out of my friends.” You tilt your head in confusion. 

“Bonnie, who’s helping Kai get out permanently. Alaric, with… Alaric in general. Elena, when we wake her, for letting her realize I failed to keep you two apart like she tried so hard to do. Matt-”

“We get it.”

“Good. Then let’s go.”

#malachai parker x reader #kai parker x reader #tvd fanfiction #kai parker oneshot #this is 2/2 things i wanted to post today! #hopefully my writer's block is over with and life will chill out bc ugh #i hate not being able to write and post #anyway the world needs more heretic kai fics i need him to bite me

[herefortheships]

Buffy has totally ruined me for any other show. Because in Buffy there are consequences to things. And I feel like few shows actually give the characters lasting, realistic consequences to things that they have to deal with. It's all a rush to solve everything before they have to move on to the next season's plot.

In Buffy, for example, when Willow went Dark Witch and almost killed everyone and destroyed everything, she had to deal with the consequences next season. Her character is affected in a very tangible way by what happened. And so are all the other characters around her, with regards to her. And they all have to get used to each other again and work through it. The show dedicates time to deal with what happened and for the characters to get through it. Because it matters! It matters to the character arcs, to the story, and to the viewers! We WANT to see the consequences and the aftermath and how characters are dealing with things! Not only because that's where the "juice" is in the show, but also because it helps us deal with our own shit in some way. Like, it's cathartic, I guess.

We want to see the aftermath, because it was a very dramatic, huge thing that happened and we want to see the characters recovering from it; we don't want the show to skip over it.

Then there are other shows where the characters deal with massive, insanely dark things, and then next season they're totally over it because that's last season's plot... It's like they can't "dwell" on last season's plot except for a throwaway line or two because they have to move on to the next big bad...

No! I want to see how it affected the characters!! Don't you see that's where the juice is?? I WANT to see how the characters are dealing and getting through what happened! I want to see consequences and how characters heal!! I want to see them changed by their experiences for better or worse.

Yeah. Buffy totally made me expect other shows to give that kind of attention to detail to their characters and their personal arcs.

#I am specifically looking at Teen Wolf with Stiles and the Nogitsune aka Void Stiles arc #PLease let me see the juice of how that affected him!!! #He's totally over it on season 4 like it didn't freaking happen lol #then season 5 he accidentally kills someone on self-defense and sort of spirals but... it's all ok??? #And so he spiraled with killing one man accidentally but didn't spiral in season 4 with the memory of all the people the Nogitsune killed #using his body? #which Stiles must remember doing with his hands because he admitted remembering twisting the sword into Scott #I needed MORE of that storyline #please tell me season 6 will briefly touch on it... ugh #btvs #shows #writing

[astrobei]

bandaging/stitching up an injury with stonathan PLEASE i need more of them

The first thing Jonathan does when he sees him is let out a long, slow whistle.

“Jesus,” he mutters, crossing the living room in three quick steps. “What’s wrong with your face?”

“Got beat up by a racist piece of shit,” Steve mutters, leaning back against the sofa cushions and holding a bag of frozen peas to his face. Ow. “But don’t tell anyone. It can’t be good for my street cred.”

Steve’s got his eyes mostly closed, still, but he sees Jonathan’s face do a funny twitching thing, like he was about to laugh. “What street cred,” Jonathan says, and he doesn’t laugh, exactly, but Steve hears one in his voice anyway. “Your street cred died out a long time ago.”

“Yeah, okay, very funny. Chuff it up, Byers,” Steve grumbles, adjusting the bag of peas and trying to find another cold spot. It’s mostly room temperature now, sloshing around wetly with each movement, which is more disgusting than anything else. Steve lets out a frustrated noise. “Great. And now my peas are warm.”

“I’ll get you another bag,” Jonathan says, because right, this is his house, and Steve is getting blood all over his couch like the world’s actual worst houseguest. If his parents saw his appalling lack of manners, there would be some words to be said.

Well maybe about the bloody face first. And then the manners.

Maybe.

Jonathan opens the freezer door and stops dead in his tracks. “Steve?”

“Mm?”

“Why is there a– Jesus, I don’t even know what this is, and I’m a little afraid to ask– why is there a thing in my fridge?”

Ah. Right. 

“Listen,” Steve starts apologetically. “Henderson was just shooting me these giant puppy eyes and going on and on about scientific discovery or some shit and honestly I didn’t really want to have to deal with taking it outside. Like, what do you even do with the bodies? Burn ‘em? Bury ‘em? Ritual sacrifice?”

Jonathan peers at him over the refrigerator door, and blinks. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Ritual sacrifice,” Steve says again, waving a noncommittal hand in the air. “You know. You’re always listening to those broody, scary guys with the weird hair and the– uh, the guitars. You know.”

“I think you’re concussed,” Jonathan says simply, pulling a face as he presumably reaches around the Demodog’s body for the peas. “Did you hit your head?”

“I hit a lot of things,” Steve laughs, which is maybe answering Jonathan’s question.

“You ruined the good quilt,” Jonathan frowns, letting the door fall shut. “You owe me a new one.”

Steve extends his arm as Jonathan walks back, pressing the new bag to his face with a relieved sigh as he says, “Sure, yeah, come over to mine and take your pick. My aunt just took up quilting actually.”

Jonathan peers down at him. He’s still standing up, hovering, somehow managing to look uncomfortable in the middle of his own living room. “Did she really?”

“No idea,” Steve admits. “Haven’t heard from her since last December. I think she got cancer and died.”

“Steve,” Jonathan laughs, a little shocked, “that’s morbid,” and, okay, maybe Steve is a little concussed after all.

“Whatever,” he says, then pats the sofa next to him. “Sit down, man, it’s your house.”

Jonathan sits. Steve tilts his head back, presses the peas to the bruise he knows is blossoming a dark and vibrant purple around his eye. Jonathan’s watching him, silently observant like he always is. It should be unsettling. It used to be unsettling, back before Steve exchanged a proper, actual sentence with him. Now it’s kind of comforting, knowing that he doesn’t need to fill up the silence with meaningless blabbering.

Doesn’t mean he won’t do it anyway.

“You look like shit,” he blurts out, eyeing the way Jonathan’s shirt has gone all streaked with dirt and is still a little patchy with sweat. His hair is sticking to his forehead, and he looks like he’s been up for three days straight, but he still seems more awake than Steve is feeling. Alert. The usual slouchiness to his posture is gone, replaced by something less, uh, tortured. A little calmer, maybe. “How much do you sweat?”

“Well, we had to sweat the Mind Flayer out of Will,” Jonathan says casually, like he’s recounting a Saturday afternoon out on the town. “And we cranked the heat up to, like, a hundred thirty or something so yeah, I’m a little sweaty.”

Steve stares. “You’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“So he’s– he’s okay then? Where is he?”

Jonathan plucks at a stray thread sticking out of the couch. It’s old upholstery, and Steve can see a smattering of old, faded stains across the cushions, but it’s soft and worn and comfortable, and nothing like the ones in Steve’s own living room. “Well, Owens is hurt so he had to call someone in and it’s a whole mess that basically means the fewer people the better for tonight.”

Steve isn't really sure who Owens is, and he can't really discern from Jonathan’s tone whether or not he’s supposed to be happy about this guy being unexpectedly incapacitated. “Ah,” he says anyway. “Is he okay?”

“Yes?” Jonathan offers. Steve watches him out of the corner of his eye. He fiddles with his thumbs. Steve wants to reach out and grab his hands, just to still them, calm him down. “I can go first thing in the morning, it’s just– Hopper has some pull and my mom is– well, she’s our mom, and– I don’t know, okay, I just look at him and I see this thing that had its hands around my mom’s throat and I think to myself, hey, that’s my little brother. You know?”

Steve feels a little blown away. A little– flabbergasted, maybe. He’s not sure he’s heard Jonathan Byers say this much at one time in his entire life, and as it is, he stops talking suddenly, biting down on his lower lip like he had more to say but just isn’t.

“Yeah,” Steve croaks, even though he doesn’t know. He’s an only child and he’s spent most of his childhood alone and he guesses he has the Henderson kid now, but that’s not the same. Jonathan and Will– they’re something else. He isn’t really sure what to say other than that, so he just reaches out, places a hand on Jonathan’s knee, and squeezes. Like maybe this can say something he can’t. “I’m sorry. He’ll be okay. He’s a tough kid.”

Jonathan looks down at Steve’s hand on his knee and then back up, meeting his gaze. Something flits across his face, lightning fast and then it’s gone. “Thanks,” he says, a little quieter than before. 

Steve wonders if maybe he should move his hand, but Jonathan doesn’t seem to be all that bothered by it and Steve thinks, privately, that he likes the steady weight of him under his palm. Heavy and solid. Strangely anchoring. Maybe it’s the possible concussion talking. Maybe it’s not.

“Yeah,” Steve whispers.

A moment passes like this. The house is quiet. Everyone else has gone home, to the hospital, wherever they have to go, and Steve is here because he’d taken Dustin home and then thought about his own house– dark and empty and wholly more terrifying than any of the monsters or the blood or the douchebag assholes in open-front shirts and mullets– and he’d ended up here.

“Let’s get you cleaned up,” Jonathan says after a second. “You’ve got– it’s a lot of dried blood.”

“Sorry about the couch,” Steve says pathetically, as if he hadn’t been getting his messed up face all over it for the last thirty minutes. “You can get the blood out of it, I think.”

Jonathan is digging something out from under the sink– a first aid kit that looks like it’s been sitting there since the first World War. “Believe me,” he says. “It wouldn’t be the first time.”

Steve lifts the bag of peas off his face. This one’s starting to go warm too, and he blinks blearily in the living room light as he peels his particularly sore eye open. “Be honest with me, Byers,” he calls out after Jonathan as he ducks into the bathroom, then pops back out a second later with a clean washcloth in hand. “How many murders have you committed in this house?”

Jonathan laughs at that, sudden and sharp, and then he makes a face like he’s surprised with himself for doing it. It’s unexpected, the sound, and it’s even more unexpected the way something swoops low in Steve’s chest. Like it’s some kind of victory, making Jonathan want to laugh so badly that he surprised himself by doing it, like he really just couldn’t help himself. “Zero,” he says, making his way back to the sofa. “So far. Here– come here.”

Steve isn’t really sure where here is, because then Jonathan is sitting down next to him and their knees are touching and there’s not really anywhere he can go that isn’t already as close as he can physically get to him. So he just leans his head in a little, turns his face up towards the light. “Good?”

“Shit.” Jonathan makes a sympathetic noise in the back of his throat. He cups a hand around Steve’s jaw, tilting his face a little to the right. “He got you good, huh?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Steve mutters, and Jonathan lets out another one of those sudden, quick laughs. Steve bites back a smile. Good, he thinks, a little absently. Good.

“I see what you mean about the street cred,” Jonathan murmurs. “Nice bandaids, by the way.”

“Courtesy of your brother’s idiot friends,” Steve sighs, and then winces as the cloth makes contact with a cut on his cheek. “Shit. Ow.”

“It’s a little one,” Jonathan smirks. “How is it that you can’t deal with a little–”

“It’s the fucking rings,” Steve bemoans, this time focusing very hard on keeping his face neutral as Jonathan dabs the dried blood away. “What kind of asshole wears that many rings on one hand?”

“The kind of asshole that goes around punching people?” Jonathan offers, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Very funny.”

“I don’t know,” Jonathan continues, ducking his head down and finding a clean spot on the towel. There’s a smile playing on his lips, even if he thinks Steve can’t see him. “I’m pretty sure I remember doing some damage even without any rings on.”

“Congratulations,” Steve says drily, “you’re better than the guy who rubs himself down with body oil before leaving the house.”

Jonathan laughs at this, a real, loud laugh, and Steve thinks, for a fleeting second, that he might like this laugh even better than the other one. “I should hope so,” Jonathan is saying, and then he’s leaning in again and dabbing at Steve’s forehead. “That doesn’t seem like a very high bar.”

“You should do that more,” Steve murmurs, watching Jonathan’s mouth twitch in concentration. 

Jonathan frowns, then glances down, meeting Steve’s gaze. “Do what?”

“Laugh,” Steve says, the single syllable halfway out of his mouth before he has any inclination to, oh, I don’t know, maybe not say that? He’s thinking about the way Jonathan had lit up for a moment there, the way the weariness he always seems to carry around him sloughed off his shoulders, even if for just a second. What comes out of his mouth though, instead of any halfway eloquent manner of saying this, is, “It makes your face look nice.”

Maybe he is concussed. In a very real, serious way, maybe Steve Harrington is currently suffering from a grade-A concussion.

Jonathan looks a little bit horrified, but mostly kind of confused. He shakes his head. “It makes my– okay, you definitely have a concussion,” he says at last, which, yeah, Steve had been coming to this conclusion himself, actually. “So try not to get any major brain damage before we can get you checked out, yeah?”

“I’m trying,” Steve says, and then, “ow, dude, you can be a little more gentle, you know.”

“Sorry,” and Jonathan does sound a bit apologetic as he says this. He’s got one hand still cupped under Steve’s chin, fingers resting lightly against his jaw.

Steady hands, Steve thinks, closing his eyes as Jonathan wipes over them. Steady hands. A more gentle touch than he would have expected from someone so rough-looking. All broad shoulders and frown lines and a piercing kind of stare. “It’s just not coming off too easy.”

“Yeah, it’s dried down,” Steve says, “it’s been a few hours.”

Jonathan hums in acknowledgement and turns Steve’s face towards the light some more. “You should have cleaned it up before,” he says softly. “Your face is all swollen.”

“I told him not to hit the moneymaker,” Steve says in a deadpan. “He didn’t listen.”

Jonathan shoots him an exasperated glare, then hands him the squishy bag of peas again as he digs around in his ancient first aid kit. “Ice.”

“No, those are peas,” Steve says without thinking, and then Jonathan groans and drops his head into both hands.

“When my mom gets back with the car, you’re going to the hospital.”

“I’m fine,” Steve grins, placing the peas back over his eyes. “Seriously. My dad always said I had a thick skull.”

“I’m not sure that’s a compliment,” Jonathan says. He pulls out a tube of ointment, something thick and pasty, and beckons Steve forward again. “Come here.”

The ointment smells about as bad as it looks, and Steve pulls a face. “Dude,” he crinkles up his nose, “what the hell is that?”

“It’s gross but it works,” Jonathan says, frowning in concentration. He smears a thin layer of it over the cut on Steve’s forehead, all cleaned up now that the blood’s washed away. “Trust me.”

“Trust–”

The tube is almost empty. Steve swallows lightly and looks away.

It feels like he’s intruding on something, having Jonathan be so close to him. Being close enough to see the little spots where he’d nicked himself shaving, or how his hair is streaked through with a little blonde, the kind you can’t tell apart from ordinary brown until you’re really, really up close and personal. Which Steve– totally is. Oh, okay.

Steve swallows again, and closes his eyes.

“One down,” Jonathan murmurs, making his way over to a cut on Steve’s temple, “ninety nine to go.”

“He didn’t land that many hits,” Steve whispers, eyes still squeezed tightly shut. “Give me some credit.”

“Mike says you got him really good once,” Jonathan says, “so maybe there’s hope for you after all.”

It sounds like he’s smiling a little. Steve is tempted– so tempted– to open his eyes, just to see that.

He doesn’t. 

“You just got lucky, Byers,” he says instead. “You caught me off guard.”

“And then I caught you off guard again. And again, and again,” Jonathan says, and he’s definitely smiling now. “Two down.”

Steve lets out a long, slow exhale. “At this rate, I’ll have graduated by the time you’re done.”

“You should be thanking me,” Jonathan huffs, but it doesn’t sound malicious at all. He strokes a thumb over Steve’s cheekbone, and Steve fights back a shiver.

“Thank you,” he says, as genuinely as he can muster, then opens his eyes. Jonathan is staring straight at him, eyes a little wide, cheeks a little red. Steve grabs his wrist, the one that’s right up by his face, and says, “That’s– I’m being serious, by the way. I’m not trying to fuck with you.”

“Sure,” Jonathan gets out. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry I made you hit me,” Steve goes on, and if he has a concussion after all, he can blame whatever he’s saying on that. And he must be, because it’s getting hard to think in a straight line, and every train of thought just keeps circling back around to this. Warm fingertips moving over his face. So gently, like Steve is– like he’s something delicate. Something to be handled with care.

“I– it’s okay.”

Jonathan doesn’t blink. It should be more unnerving than it is. He’s got pretty eyes, Steve thinks, from a little bit out of his body. They’ve got some green in them. A little gold, too.

“I was an ass,” Steve says, and Jonathan’s eyes dart between his. Trying to see, maybe, if Steve is trying to fuck with him. If there’s a punchline at the end of this, somewhere, and whether or not that punchline is him.

Whatever he’s searching for, he must not find it, because he sighs and says, “I know.”

“You–! Okay,” Steve mutters. “Low blow, but I guess I’m the one apologizing here, so I should be able to take it and not expect a–”

“I’m not mad,” Jonathan interrupts, and then moves down to Steve’s jaw. He hadn’t even known he got hurt there, but because he’s him, of course he did. “That’s five.”

Steve blinks. “You’re not?”

“We’re different people now.” Jonathan shrugs, dips a finger through the ointment and smears it across the skin there. The smell of something strong and medicinal hits Steve head-on, and he wrinkles up his nose. “You, me. You’re not a total piece of work, and I’m not a–”

“Brooding loser,” Steve cuts in, and Jonathan gives him a look.

“I was going to say guy whose brother went missing,” Jonathan says, and then he rubs the pad of his finger over a particularly tender spot– a deep part of the cut underlaid with a bruise Steve doesn’t even have to see to know is there– and Steve lets out a startled hiss of pain.

“Ah–”

“Sorry!” And he really does sound sorry, and Steve figures they’d just been having a nice little talk so it wasn’t, like, mean or an act of petty revenge or anything. “Shit, yeah, let’s get you a bandaid for that one.”

“No Star Wars?” Steve jokes, as Jonathan comes up with– thank god– a plain beige one.

Jonathan squints at him, peeling the paper backing off. “Have you ever seen Star Wars?”

“Not once,” Steve admits. “No one I know is into that sort of thing.”

“You know me,” Jonathan says easily, running a finger over the bandaid and then pausing. “I mean–”

“Whoa,” Steve laughs. He tries to go for casual, for good-natured, but it comes out a little too overeager, stilted. “Are you asking me out, Byers?”

Jonathan blanches. “I– no.”

Belatedly, Steve realizes that this joke might have been marginally more funny if it came from anyone but him. “I didn’t mean–”

“I know what you meant.” Jonathan traces his thumb over to the last cut, sideways across Steve’s upper lip. “And you didn’t mean it like that.”

Steve shifts uncomfortably. “Hey, man, look–”

“You can probably deal with this last one on your own,” Jonathan says, but doesn’t move his hand away. “Your lip is busted, but it’s not too bad.”

“Okay,” Steve whispers. He doesn’t move either. “Thanks for patching me up.”

“Thanks for being there today,” Jonathan says back. “I saw you with the kids. You’re good with them.”

Steve huffs out a small laugh, and it gets caught there, somewhere along the line between Jonathan’s thumb and wrist, still snagged onto the curve of his upper lip. “Oh that? It was nothing.”

Jonathan shakes his head. It’s minute, barely noticeable. “They look up to you. Dustin, especially. It’s sweet.”

“Yeah, well, someone had to step up. Not everyone can have a–”

Jonathan raises his eyebrows. “A what?”

You, Steve thinks, heart picking up pace suddenly. Not everyone can have you. 

“They can’t all have–”

The word you never makes it out of his mouth, because then Jonathan is kissing him.

Steve gasps, because he has an open fucking wound on his lip and this is probably a thousand different kinds of unhygienic and an excellent way to spread another thousand different kinds of germs. And then Jonathan’s hands cup either side of his face and he’s pressing in so hard that it can’t be fueled by anything other than instinct and desperation, and then all thoughts regarding germs and sanitation and wow I’m glad he washed his hands before getting all up in my busted face fly right out of Steve’s head.

He’s warm, is the first thing Steve notices. The second and third are, in order, that he’s very broad and he’s very solid. It’s nothing like kissing a girl. There’s no give to him, no softness to the rigid muscles of his arms that Steve had no idea even existed. He’s gripping onto Jonathan’s forearms, apparently, which he doesn’t remember doing but he can’t find the state of mind to do literally anything else.

Jonathan’s arms are solid and rough and the muscles flex gently under Steve’s palms. He’s so solid, anchoring, and he’s holding Steve’s face like that again– like Steve is a delicate thing. Something that needs to be handled with a ginger touch, with appreciation, with trace amounts of tenderness.

Jonathan’s lips press into his once, then twice, like he just couldn’t help himself, and Steve makes what is maybe the most embarrassing noise he’s made in his life to date. This is good, he thinks. And he knows good. He’s Steve Harrington, okay, he basically invented it. But where the hell did Jonathan Byers learn how to kiss?

“Okay,” Steve hears himself say the second Jonathan pulls back. “What was–”

“Don’t freak out,” Jonathan says, sounding like he’s on the verge of freaking out himself. “Please don’t freak out. I need you to not freak out.”

“Who, me?” If Steve’s voice cracks, just a little, neither of them say anything. “I would never. Never ever ever ever– um. So why did you– not that I’m– yeah.”

“Like I said,” Jonathan says, “we’re different people now,” and he looks nowhere near as totally and completely thrown for a loop as Steve feels at the moment. His ears are bright red, though, and there’s a light dusting of pink across the tops of his cheekbones, and it feels like another victory, getting Jonathan Byers to blush. 

“Cool,” Steve says faintly. His lip is throbbing, and he brings a hand up to his mouth and pulls it away to see red on his fingers. “Ah, great,” he winces. “Look what you did, man. You fucked my lip up again.”

#stonathan/stoncy were my first st ship back in 2016 so they are sooooo special to me oh my god #forever fuming about the enemies to lovers potential here wasted #the setup in s1/2 was so good just to have them not talk for like 2 full seasons #ugh #and i'll never understand ppl who shipped steve w b*lly when jonathan was RIGHT THERE and NOT RACIST #jfc ugh thank u for giving me the excuse to write this nic i need more of them in my life #plus this trope w them is >>>>>>> #stonathan #steve harrington #jonathan byers #fun sized fics #fic

[m1d-45]

Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.

Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!

Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.

So he decides to test something.

Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.

His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.

He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!

His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.

They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.

He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.

After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.

He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.

-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)

oh….. he’s so soft…..

xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.

when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.

the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.

you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.

the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.

you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.

“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”

you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.

you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.

the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.

you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.

you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.

your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.

“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”

the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.

you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….

xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.

you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.

who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.

xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.

you…

he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..

xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.

he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.

#m1d : [chats] #m1d : [secrets] #sibling anon #bird!xiao shenanigans #btw he’s pretty in character #you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is #also! let it be known that i too like fluff!! #< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now #dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight #post* whoop #post-valentines day sadness #this got WAY too long #forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have #writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts. #i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS #had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike. #anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice… #the vibes….. immaculate…. #TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK #THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL #FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY. #the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally #i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it. #ugh. #it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY #hate. >:( #also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do #ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP #whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work #fuck it we ball

[melon-official]

She wails as though a part of her has died.

oh man. i picked up the sidestory to @just-a-carrot's five-arc horror epic a couple days ago and i'm so glad i did. i'll probably be talking nonstop and/or drawing about it for days

there's a handful of whiteboard doodles with other characters under the cut, but rly i just wanted to pay a homage to the scene that hit me the hardest... enjoy

#theres already PARAGRAPHS upon paragraphs in my partners dms over this freaking thing but like listen to me (jingle jingle) PAY ATTENTION #i feel like i have to add that visual novels arent really something i take interest in at all this one jus JUMPED me #i actually played the side piece (our cinderella) first + was so in love with the writing i went to check out the main story. worth it #and i DEFINITELY won't be able to fit everything i want to say in the tags but its so refreshing to read/play thru a novel where the protag #are regular ass adults. like middle class thirty year olds barely breaking even. and that still get sappy unapologetically. #need more stories like this fr #that aside it's been fucking crazy to look at iggy's character arc through his eyes considering yk.. everything. #theres no universal asexual experience or anything but sometimes there'd be a line in there that made me like. sit up and go damn what the #i did that. i do that. #it's. i cant explain it in depth in the tags its about the way topics are skirted around and the realization that something is #uncomfortable in a way you werent expecting it to be. or even on your radar. theres so much #ugh. im unwell. anyways. #dewdles #our wonderland #gidget bordelle #iggy maxwell #genzou #genzou ichihara #cecil- does cecil have a last name??? cecil. #blood #injury #ask to tag

[supemaeve]

Why doesn't Vought want diversity? Wow. These are some real hardballs Maria Menounos. But check your facts. Let's take The Seven, for example. We've got A-Train, he's a black man. We got Black Noir he, uhm, well he doesn't identify with any race, really so, they're covered.

#queen maeve #homelander #the boys #maria menounos #i remember the first time i watched this scene like it was yesterday lol #I've watched it hundreds of times since then and it still gives me the same feelings #for that reason it's one of my favorites and i needed to gif it #wanted to gif the entire thing because i love you can see his face when he realizes maria gave him the perfect set up to out her #but it was too damn long and i wanted to focus more on maeve obviously #the way she changes her expression in a second to get her vought mask on #ugh i could write an entire essay about this scene but i won't #my gifs #maeve

[ghost-t-cryptids]

Lost and alone in the desert

(My commissions are OPEN!)

(Piece without text underneath!)

#legend of zelda #legend of zelda OC #legend of zelda AU #LoZ OC #LoZ AU #original character #digital art #my art #OC ESTRIN #im not over Estrin's time in Gerudo Desert... #just...UGH #the hopelessnes #the emptiness of the desert with Gerudo Town...Ganondorf's former home...being the only beacon of hope #i think the irony of that might have been missed by people #that Ganondorf's home...where he was abused for years...is the only place of safety for Estrin in the desert #but Estrin could still feel the abuse echo through Ganondorf's room #ugh......i need to write more of the epilogue NOW

[haru-chi]

Reading the 5th vol of 7th time loop LN .. still on chapter 2 but I gotta say ...

The way both Rishe and Arnold is like "I don't care what anyone says about me but I won't allow them to cross the line nor say something bad about you" then get angry and defensive for their sake is just killing me you had no idea 😭🩵

It has such depth to it that I wanna dig up ugh .. it also reflect both their life and personality or the way they led their life till this point ....

What I mean is ... it's kinda painful and tragic that both of them don't care much about their self-value although showing in different ways/meaning .. that it stems from different circumstances yet the end result is the same ...

Having someone be angry for you and show they actually see the real you is ... liberating .. that everything you did till this point wasn't for nothing .. that you can be you .. the real you and that's okay .. having that one person is enough for you ... that's what it meant for Rishe this kind of action ..

While to Arnold it'll have a different meaning .. he himself will never see any kind of value in himself other than bringing misfortunate maybe, he doesn't even believe he's a kind person ... even his kindness to Rishe serve a purpose to him nothing more or less ... but even so, it's still a real kindness no matter how tainted it is .. he need to realize that deep down he actually kind despite how twisted or tainted he actually is .. his kindness is still alive in him ... Rishe gonna show it to him before anyone else ... she'll let it bloom to show its true self for sure one day ... he believe the bad things people says about him ... he himself also led them to believe most of it ... maybe also deceiving himself before those which led him to actually believe that it's the real him ..

So Rishe standing up to him .. not allowing anyone to badmouth him is just ... nothing he ever experienced that he doesn't know how to feel or react about it ... maybe even feel guilty toward it ..

While I believe Rishe is confident in herself and love herself more than anyone else thanks to all her past lives ... in her first is where she went through that self-worth depression when she thought her life has ended when that idiot prince broke their engagement .. that's why current Rishe won't be that shaken with whatever anyone else says about her. She moved on from all of that.

But Arnold doesn't have that mentality toward himself, he really doesn't see any self-worth in himself. The way he doesn't care about what anyone said about him is because part of it he believe it himself, the other he don't see himself as a good or kind person and to him he doesn't worth anything. The last one is that he truly doesn't care about anyone's opinion of him. He doesn't wanna bother.

So having Rishe defend his image has shaken him differently ...

While Rishe broke her shackles long ago thanks to all her past lives, Arnold is still shackled and not free as she is ...

Ummm ... I feel I went rambling without sorting all my feelings or thoughts, so if I make no sense don't mind me. Also I'm still reading through this but I couldn't contain my emotions or thoughts and had to write it down somewhere (maybe reading on either gonna change my view or confirm it too)

But anyway, I'm in pain, in love, and screaming and I'm still in the start of this vol that I don't know if I'll handle more going forward .. they're killing me 😭🩵

#7th time loop #rishe irmgard weitzner #arnold hein #rishe x arnold #7th time loop the villainess enjoys a carefree life married to her worst enemy #I was planning to only write the first paragraph but then .... I went on and on ... #my thoughts also are over the place and hadn't sort them out .... #it just this had a depth I wanted to convey even for a bit ... #I feel I have more to say but my thoughts aren't sorted at all ... #my feelings and emotions are everywhere too .... #but I hope I conveyed my idea and thoughts in a way that make sense and logical ... #need to take a breath before I return to read .... even though I don't wanna read for it to finish fast ugh

[suckishima]

man i love this sequence so much—and tbh their dynamic in general which i feel like we don't talk about enough

on paper they seem like such opposites—and they kind of are—with tanaka being a mood maker and morale stabilizer for the team, he's loud and boisterous and never holds back what he's feeling ("dial down my feelings?? what does that even mean??"), while tsukki barely speaks on the court, openly admits to disliking loud and excitable people, and seems to calculatedly hide his emotions away. you would think they wouldn't like each other and wouldn't work well together, but i think every interaction we see between them is a positive one

we see them kinda partner up to roast other teams or their own teammates, but also tanaka is one of the few senpai that tsukki seems comfortable openly making fun of directly. but then tanaka doesn't even ever seem mad by tsukki's taunts—occasionally he'll even pass judgement on how successful tsukki was with his comebacks. and tanaka will just throw a jab back easily, which tsukki doesn't really seem bothered by either—tanaka never gets under tsukki's skin the way kageyama does, for example

and then we get a great little sequence like this one that's deliberately pointing out their differences and then using them to emphasize something more, and it's just so effective??

what tanaka goes through in the first set of the inarizaki match of feeling like he's not doing enough and having it shoved in his face that he'll never be the best, is like a speedrun version of what tsukki has been going through since he was in middle school when he found out his brother was lying about being the ace. there are these little subtle callbacks too—with the dichotomy of being lame vs cool (yamaguchi calling tsukki lame for not trying and tsukki thinking yamaguchi is cool for saying so), and furudate even uses the same visual metaphor of a never-ending staircase

it took tsukki years to realize he might be looking at things in a destructive way, and then months more after that until he actually saw the merit of trying—and then even here we can see that he doesn't find any of this easy. and tanaka basically does all of that in thirty minutes or so.

and while tsukki seems perturbed by this, he isn't mad at all. you can feel the respect tsukki is veiling behind his words in the first panel of the page when he calls him "ridiculously mentally tough." it's "frightening" to him because it's something that doesn't come naturally to him personally, when it obviously does for tanaka

of course it's important to note that the situations are completely different in terms of the catalyst for those feelings, tanaka didn't have some world-shattering event he's been struggling with since he was a pre-teen (that we know of). he just had an off day. but what i like is that the emphasis here isn't really about the circumstances, it's about their attitudes, how they each react to feeling down about themselves

and i just love the way furudate put this page in here. we just had this awesome sequence of tanaka scoring a well earned set point by doing a move he's been practicing for months after he spent all match feeling inadequate—sounds a lot like tsukishima winning set 2 vs shiratorizawa with a stuff block that was preceded by months of extra practices from him, but the reader (rightfully) isn't thinking about tsukki at all. until furudate gives us this conversation and we're reminded (not specifically or directly of tsukki's moment but) that this feeling is something other players, other people go through too. like, furudate didn't have to put this page in here, the chapter and tanaka's moment would have been just as epic without it, but i feel like it just adds this extra little emotional grounding to it

it just, it feels so human. getting down, being hard on yourself, feeling or even knowing you'll never be the best, everyone can relate—it's a storyline we've seen in haikyuu before but furudate always manages to make it feel not only fresh but satisfying because of how they present it to us with a new lens every time. tanaka and tsukki are so opposing in their character and actions that it makes their moments feel different and new, so it's just as cathartic for the reader every time, even though the underlying message is the same

whether it's hard or not, it's always cooler to try

#..i wrote an essay again... i always think i have one (1) thought and it turns out a thought is worth 1k words #fun fact ive been collecting screenshots of tsukki and tanakas interactions this whole reread to eventually do *shrug* something with lol #tanaka #tsukki #hq #hq meta #what more do you need #2021 reread #x #long post #if only i could write my fic at these speeds lmao #ugh and this post touches on a ton of themes im trying to integrate into current fic too and its just been. not working lol