#I never thought the day my favorite characters would be literal cult leaders but life is life

[quackats]

Cult of the conductor yeah...

#digital art #illustration #fanart #infinity train #infinity train fanart #infinity train s3 #infinity train book three #artists on tumblr #grace monroe #infinity train grace #I never thought the day my favorite characters would be literal cult leaders but life is life #they’re just so well written #especially Grace #quacky’s rambles #quacky draws #Grace’s flowers tagged: #amaryllis #marigold #chrysanthemum

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 127

Annnnd a-one, and a-two, and a queue-queue-queue!

This chapter has one of my favorite things in the world to write - Interpersonal relationships (if you are surprised, I’m going to assume you are new here....).

Specifically, one of my biggest pet-peeves is when friends or siblings are written in a way that shows that the author doesn’t actually have any friends or siblings they are close enough to that all rules of societal politeness go whizzing into some far-off dimension as soon as they are in proximity.

When I get to write a chapter with such close friends/ersatz-siblings and also have @baelpenrose cackling and egging me on, it literally makes my whole day.

P.S: If anyone has wondered about the ages of the characters, several are clearly lined out in this chapter......

EDIT: Fixed some insane formatting issues.

“The food festival, Sophia? Really?” an incredulous voice asked before the door to my office even opened all the way.

I resisted the urge to scream, but did surrender to pinching the bridge of my nose and breathing slowly. “Hello, Arthur. Do come in. Long time no see.  Of course I’m not busy…” My one day each week to have a few hours to myself - no mentees, no assistant, even Tyche was off work….

“We saw each other last night when I came over for dinner after sparring with Conor, and  you’re never busy on Saturdays, Alistair makes sure of it.” He dragged a chair in front of my desk for what I felt was the sole purpose of putting his boots on my desk instead of the conference table.

“I thought you two didn’t even like each other, how did you - “

He waved a hand dismissively. “Enemy of my best friend’s enemy is my friend, that sort of thing. Anyway - “

“Did you just call me my own worst - “

“You are, let’s not pretend otherwise. Anyway.” Arthur arched an eyebrow at me and waited for any further objections, but I couldn’t think of any. “The Food Festival. It’s my one favorite tradition on this ship until armed combat becomes a spectator sport, and you are putting Parvati and Hannah in charge of it?”

After a beat pause to make sure he was done, I glared at him. “Everyone has asked me that, and I don’t understand the issue.  They’ve both helped in the past, even before they started training to replace me.  I’ve handed more and more off to them each time, and they did great! Plus, they have three months, it will be fi - Wait, why do you even care, Arthur?”

He held up one finger with the authority of a deity who would have smited me if he could. “One, Parvati Fletcher does not like mapo tofu. You do. Specifically, you like it from that one vendor who grows her own Sichuan peppercorns and uses them like they are an infinite resource. Two, I spend entirely too much time working with Zach Khan, and he won’t shut up about how stressed Hannah is. Three - “ I was seriously starting to get concerned he actually could smite me at this point - “As much as I love you in the most platonic way possible, you are an obsessive, compulsive perfectionist who insists on doing everything herself and running herself into the ground so that everyone else has the time of their lives. So why are you trusting this, the largest and oldest event on the Ark, entirely to other people?” Dropping his boots from the desk, he leaned forward, palms down until we were nearly nose to nose.

“Sophia Reid, I swear on any god I can kill if you are dying…”

“WHAT!?” I squawked, jerking back and standing so fast I knocked my chair over. “For the love of little fish, I’m not dying! I haven’t had a near death experience in four years, thank you.”

“Three, not counting the fact that there is a reason Alistair makes you drink anything through a straw anymore.”

“How did - Nevermind.” I shook my head and tried to focus on the topic at hand. “No, I’m not dying. Nor am I injured, having a midlife crisis, rethinking my life choices any more than I ever do, or so much as in possession of a stuffy nose.” Taking a deep breath, I rolled my eyes and started counting off before I could stop myself. “Conor and Maverick and I are fine. No, I’m not arguing with Tyche again. Yes, I’m still going to therapy. Else is fine. No new sentient plagues or rogue cult leaders that I’m aware of. Nor have I become immortal, queen of the universe, savior of humanity, pregnant by Noah, or possessed.” Carefully, I picked my chair back up and sat down.

“Good...to… know?” He gave me a funny look. “Who asked the most disturbing one?”

“Immortal or Savior of Humanity?” I asked for clarification. “Those were Maverick and Derek, respectively.”

The look only got worse. “I meant ‘pregnant by Noah’, but fascinating to see where your priorities lie….?”

“Oh. That was Charly.”

“Dammit,” he swore softly. “I had her pegged for ‘possessed’.”

“I’m pretty sure she is, but the suggestion that I am came from Tyche, on no fewer than 3 occasions, by 4 different entities. She seemed pretty hopeful that Else was potentially mind-controlling me in an effort to make me take a nap,” I admitted.

“That tracks.” A nod of approval prefaced the question I had been avoiding - successfully, thus far, I might add. “Now that you’ve ruled out every possible plausible reason that you would entrust this to literally anyone other than a clone of yourself, why?”

“Why what?” My face was composed in an expression of innocence so convincing that I probably deserved an Oscar.

“I can and will convince Charly to turn all your coffee to decaf, so help me, Sophia.”

Realizing that he was, legitimately, worried about me and at the limits of his usually-impressive patience, I held up my hands in surrender. “Fine. You get the scoop.  Please record this and send me the loop, so I can just flick it at people who ask, please?” When he nodded, I exhaled slowly.  “It is no secret to anyone that I never wanted this job. I made the mistake of establishing the Food Festival, which as you point out is the largest event of the cycle on the Ark - the last three years, literally everyone attended in some capacity.” When he opened his mouth to argue, I held up a hand to stop him. “Don’t get me wrong. I love the Festival. What basically started out as a potluck because we were homesick and needed to meet - you know, the rest of humanity - is a huge, three day holiday.  It’s amazing!” I spun in my chair, arms flung wide for emphasis, before stopping to face him. 

“It also consumes my life, for months, to prepare for.  And that’s just implementing changes to make it more accessible so people don’t miss out! That doesn’t include adding things to make it more interesting or keep it from getting boring, or whatever. I literally don’t have time to do any of that!”

“So, you’re inflicting this on them instead?”

“Inflicting?” I snorted.  “Hardly. This is their final exam, their capstone project, their dissertation.  If they pull this off, I will gladly hand the entire office over to whoever is elected, cheerfully and knowing the Ark is in good hands.  But, they have to pull this off.  It’s the only major part of being Councilor of Resources and Relations that they haven’t done yet by themselves.”

He rubbed his face, looking somewhat impressed. “That’s honestly not what I was expecting.”

“I don’t think it ever is, honestly.” I shrugged at the question he glanced towards me. “For Evan, it was coordinating the weapons exhibitions.  Charly managed to pre-empt her own by designing more efficient aqueducts and filtration for when we reach Von - you know, the ones that also produce light?”

“Of course she would invent glow-in-the-dark plumbing. Who else?” Something caught up with him. “Evania Josue got away with planning an event? Seriously?”

“Oh, that’s right… you weren’t on Level One…” I murmured. When he only looked more confused, I clarified. “She was Maverick’s co-pilot when we needed people to pilot the Ark, which was not designed to pilot manually, via dead reckoning, using cameras pointed out the few viewports we have, for several weeks after the sensors were sabotaged.”

“She was whose co-pilot?”

“You really never heard this story? You practically live with seven people who were there…”

“Usually I get the bits about ‘Sophia nearly got her brains bashed out’ and ‘that traitorous bitch’, then start tuning out while I try to decide what it would take to get Charly to teach me necromancy… If Evan was the co-pilot, then why is Maverick….”

“Not in line to replace any Councilors? Arthur, we know that would be a disaster for him.”

He nodded reluctantly. “Your younger partner is a nice boy.”

“For fuck’s sake, he’s thirty seven!” I groaned.

“Nice man, whatever,” he waved off. “Which is exactly what I would like for you as a partner. You need nice partners, and blunt siblings. But I see what you mean about him being a Councilor… he’d be miserable.”

“What was yours?” I asked mischievously, dropping my chin onto my hands.

That earned me a flat stare, until he finally surrendered when I didn’t flinch. “The Twentieth/Early Twenty First History curriculum.”

“Seriously?” That had literally been the first thing he had done when Eino tapped him as a possible successor.

“I didn’t budge on points even he admitted he would have, out of fear of offending people.”

“Which is a fear you very much lack,” I pointed out.

“The truth is the truth. Coating it in sugar only makes it taste worse.” He shrugged nonchalantly before suddenly looking dangerously like he was thinking again. “There’s two of them.”

“Yes, Arthur. Hanna and Paravati are, in fact, two distinct and separate women-type-lady-people.”

“Thank you, Fee, I was well aware.” I suppressed a growl at the nickname - he knew I hated it. “I meant, only one can win the election, smartass.”

“Better to be a smartass than a dumbass,” I muttered.

“Sophia, you are forty five. Please grow up just a hair?”

“Tyche doesn’t want to be HR forever, you know.”

That brought his mind to a visibly screeching halt. “Wait, what?”

“What what?” I asked. “She does it because she is phenomenal at it, but it isn’t her passion.  She only stuck around as long as she did to make sure I didn’t trip over a chair and brain myself while I was at work.  When I’m gone, she’s gone, loser take the spoils.”

He whistled softly before shaking his head. “It’s bizarre to think of you two retiring around the same time I’m just starting the position.”

“I’ll have been a Councilor for a decade when I step down,” I pointed out.  I almost included unless I die first, but that never seemed to be as funny as I thought it was.

“But you aren’t that much older than me,” he sighed dramatically. “Anti-aging technology is frustrating.”

“Annnnd this is a natural extension of your career, with a ten year break thereabouts the middle.”  My grin was so bright it made him scowl before I finally got a begrudging smile.  “Think of it as getting elected head of the school board.”

The groan he let out probably echoed for several levels throughout the ship. I had basically just pointed out that he was becoming that which he most hated.

Or not. He seemed to recover with a gleam in his eye. “Pfft. Dean of Students, at the very least.”

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#the miys #humans are weird #found family #siblings #humans will pack bond with anything #aliens #post apocalyse #post post apocalypse #science fiction #original science fiction #haw #hfy

[angelicmichael]

God is a woman

(Fem!Michael Langdon x reader)

Summary: After being stranded a few days before Halloween, Reader resorts to going into the forest to look for help and instead runs into our favorite blonde antichrist and instantly becomes infatuated.

Words: 5.5k+

Warnings: This fic gets rlly fucking dark and this is lowkey dark! Michael, very detailed sacrifice scene in the beginning, stepping on someone’s neck, manipulation, neck bruises. No smut but LOTS of sexual tension hehe.

A/N: I’ve never written anything this dark before so I’m lowkey nervous to post 👉🏻👈🏻 also this is my first wlw fic! 🥳 plz reblog or heart if you enjoyed and let me know if you wanna be on the taglist! I saw a prompt about where a main character hates Halloween so that inspired me to write this. Also, romance doesn’t rlly happen until the second half of the fic so I guess this could be considered slow burn haha.

It was exactly three days away from Halloween night. In the past, you and your friends always had a ‘get together’ right before Halloween but by the looks of things; you weren’t going to make it. On the car ride over to your friends you had gotten lost, and when you stopped to look up directions on your phone - your phone died. And then.. as if the night couldn’t get any worse, your car refused to start either. You were fucked, in the middle of fucking nowhere, scared out of your mind.

So now - here you were. Lost and left only with the choice to test out your survival skills. You went into the forest to try to go find help or maybe find a house.. After all, you heard rumors about how teenagers would often go into these woods to conduct rituals, but those were just rumours.. right? Those rumors were especially prevalent near Halloween and it was only a mere three days away. It was nearing on midnight too which only seemed to make things even more creepy and set you even more on edge.

The gentle breeze that shook the trees and the brush almost made it sound like as if you were being followed. Everytime you swore you heard footsteps behind you - you would see nothing execpt a nearly black, dark green landscape instead. Shadows started to dance in your peripheral vision, you felt as if you were going crazy. You breathing quickened and you took faster steps, wanting desperately to find any signs of life or to run into another main road.

The sound of your heavy breaths and the leaves crunching under your feet seemed to be the only thing that occupied your senses; until you saw a light. In fact, it wasn’t one light but several little lights - you counted about ten of them. They seemed to be spaced out strategically, it almost looked like a circle but the shape seemed to be more intricate than that. The flames stayed low to the ground, and as you cautiously took steps closer and closer, it was easy to tell that the flames were attached to small white candles.

It wasn’t until you slowly crept forward when you noticed that in between the candles were several hooded figures. You couldn’t make out faces or any distinct details, but you could tell the robes that were a silky red satin, and that all the figures appeared to be holding hands around the odd circular shape with.. something that almost resembled a body in the middle of the circle.

You brushed that thought off about quickly as it had came; there was no way that could be a human body.. right?

You took a silent deep breath before taking more quiet steps toward the mysterious individuals.

You finally stopped venturing forward and settled on leaning on a tall tree that was only a couple feet away from the group; just close enough to see what was happening but - still concealed by the leaves so that they couldn’t see you.. unless you made a sound of course.

You jaw dropped once you realized your suspicion was right, it really was a fucking body that the group seemed to be huddled over. Trying to breathe quietly was now more a struggle and you could feel your body start to shake like a leaf once you started to get a horrible idea of what was happening here.

The genders of the small congregation was mixed but, the leader - the one who previously had sat in the center or tip of the ‘circle’ and had now sat crouched next to the civilians body - was female.

There was no denying how beautiful she was. Her hair fell to about her shoulders in perfect golden ringlets, it was as if she had curled her hair but it seemed to looked natural - like it had just happened to naturally fall down her shoulders in that way. Her eyes were a light crystal blue and were framed with thick black eyelashes which were angled down; staring at the body that lay in front of her. And finally, another unforgettable feature she had were her lips. Her lips were full and you couldn’t stop yourself from daydreaming about how soft and plump they looked until you were brought back into reality - when you saw this woman grab a dagger that was lying next to the random civilian.

This random person; whom you knew was random because unlike the other members of this odd ‘cult’, they wore normal street clothes - like how you did. This made your blood run cold, you could be next. What made you different from this person who - by the looks of it - was about to be killed in cold blood? Absolutely nothing.

You knew it was cowardly to just hide and watch but you felt terrified, and in denial. This person was tied up with their hands and ankles bound with some kind of cloth, along with a cloth gag around their mouth. Although they looked to be unconscious - so maybe the woman was grabbing the dagger to free them? You could only hope.

You couldn’t help but think back to the rumours that always seem to float around this time of year about a local satanic cult, but those were just rumours.. stupid fucking rumours. And you were just paranoid because of the fact that it was literally midnight and you were stranded.

You tried to shake away these irrational thoughts as you remained at the tree; holding your breath as you watched the woman hold up the knife. She let out a slight giggle, and you swore for a second she almost looked childish - the way her eyes lit up and how the corners of her mouth turned in a small closed mouth smile. For a second she looked genuinely happy and excited, and then she did the unthinkable.

All it took was three seconds for her to plunge the knife right into the center of the persons chest cavity, blood instantly spurted out from the mans chest and if he wasn’t dead ealier.. He certainly was now. she ran the knife up a bit in his chest before quickly throwing the knife out of the way, somewhere in the forest. She quickly plunged her hand into the persons chest with no hesitation - it was obvious by the way her armed moved that it was as if she was searching for something or a certain organ?

Your reaction was immeadite, you couldn’t help but to gasp and let go of the tree in shock - shaking harder than ever. But yet; you still stood and watched. Like a idiot. You could slowly feel your body succumb to shock and you knew you only had so much time to move and get the hell out of there before you passed out but you felt frozen in place. You couldn’t bring yourself to move your legs or any other part of you. Maybe it was some kind of fucked up fate or destiny that you were meant to be here and witness this.

You flinched at the awful squishing sounds that omitted from this woman’s victims body, it was clear to you now what she was looking for in the chest.

The heart.

You started to shake with fear as you watched her forcibly rip the heart out of the chest cavity and away from the blood vessels that previously connected it to the body. Blood continued to ooze off of it as she slowly raised it up closer, and closer to her. She wore a sly smirk but her eyes seemed to be turning darker and darker; which made it impossible to read her emotions but for some reason; you felt if you could see her eyes - that they would still hold the same wonder and excitement you saw in them ealier.

That thought made you dizzy.

“Ave satanas”. She spoke.

Her voice was clear and smooth, the murder and this horrific dissection didn’t seem to disturb or affect her in any way, or any of the members that were witnesses.

The rest of the members watched her as diligently as you did, their eyes daring to not leave her body for a second. They also repeated her sick mantra.

She swiftly raised the heart up to her lips and took a bite, blood instantly staining her porcelain skin and cascading down her mouth and neck. Her eyes rolled back into her head - her entire pupil was now pitch black, even the whites of her eyes seemed to turn black as well.

This image was almost seductive to watch. Your not sure if this was your way of discovering you had a blood kink, or if it was the way she bit into the heart.. or maybe it was how content she looked after the bite.

But, you knew that this was fucked up and that if you wanted to make it out alive - you had to leave NOW. It was a human heart, she was a fucking murderer and possibly a cult leader at the very least. It didn’t matter if she looked like Aphrodite - she was a fucking killer and you would be next if you didn’t start to think logically.

You turned to leave; your intention was to walk away as quietly as possible but as soon as you moved your legs - it only took a couple seconds for you to break out into a clumsy sprint. Very clumsy.

It felt as if your heart had temporarily left your chest when you tripped (a stupid tree branch had fallen onto the pathway), and you felt scared out of your mind. Your breathing turned heavy and erratic as you opted to lie on forest floor; too terrified to get up.

You weren’t that far away at all from the tree you were previsoily standing at, you knew there was a good chance they had heard you fall.

You could hear hushed voices.

“Did you hear that”? You heard a male voice ask and immeaditly you heard a quiet chorus of voices that seemed to affirm his suspicion.

You listened as he offered to go look but a female voice spoke up again.. for some reason you felt as if it was the woman you saw ealier and you don’t know if that excited you or scared the shit out of you.

“No.. I’ll go”. She replied.

You heard a subtle rustling of clothes and a distant crunching of leaves as she approached and your heart leapt in your throat. You couldn’t breathe. You screwed your eyes shut; fighting every single instinct you had that was screaming at you to stand up and run for your life. The earth underneath you seemed to grow extensively more uncomfterable, the rocks, mud, dirt and the scratchy grass made your urge to leave even more stronger.

For a second; this state of being uncomfterable made you forget about the predicament you were in and how a literal cult leader was approaching you. It wasn’t until you smelt something new; a slight musky scent with a hint of floral that you knew she was nearby even though you couldn’t hear footsteps anymore.

The sharp, blowing pain you felt on the back of your neck threw you off guard so much that you couldn’t help but let out a soft scream - choking on air, your lungs grasping for more of that sweet delectable oxygen. You thought you were dying at first but you quickly realizing that she was stepping on your neck. You could feel her body weight shift as she crouched down, closer so that she could talk to you.

“Your not a very good actress. I know your not dead; I can hear your heart beat.. pathetic”. The woman above you mused, you could hear it in her voice how she was smiling.

You continued to wheeze for air desperately and you let out a weak, “please”! And miraculously, you felt her shoe slightly let up. Just enough so that you could breath but the agonizing shooting pain still remained.

“Please?! That’s all you have to say for yourself? Use your words. Beg”. Her voice stayed cool and confident as she spoke.

Meanwhile you could feel tears at the edge of your eyes as you gasped at the relief of finally being able to breath properly again. Your voice came out as rough and you stuttered at first as you struggled to find the right words.

“P-please, I just need help. I’m stranded - I only came out here to look for help. I don’t want any trouble”. You said.

You tried to push yourself back up - to see if she would let you atleast sit back up but you felt the pressure remain, even come back a little more forceful than before.

“Why should I let you go? You really think I didn’t notice you the second you started watching? You didn’t just happen to stumble upon us - you watched for a solid fifteen minutes”. Her voice held rage and fire as she started to speak, however by the end of her statement she maintained to retain her cool tone.

However there was a hint of urgency in her voice, as if she knew that her members would be coming back any second to see what was taking their dear beloved leader so long.

This entire time you were looking at her shoes - and the forest floor. You crained your neck in a way that was awkwardly painful just so that you could make eye contact with her before you spoke. Sure enough, it was the same woman who you had watched eat the human heart of the poor civilian ealier. The same.. undeniably gorgeous woman.

Most of her forefront was still stained a messy daunting red, most notably from her lips down to her chest. You also noticed how some of the ends of her hair was also dipped a messy matching red.

“Look - I couldn’t help it. When I saw you, I had to stay”. You replied dumbly as you continued to make eye contact; praying that she would pick up on your cue of what you meant.

You knew how fucking stupid it was to even try to flirt with her when she had the perfect opportunity to kill you. Out of all the stupid stunts you had pulled off in your life this had to be the worst - you didn’t even know if she was gay. Fuck, you didn’t even know her name but to be honest - you didn’t really care. You were simply enchanted and enthralled by her presence alone.

You two continued to make eye contact until you could hear the voices of the congregation start to grow louder and louder.. she didn’t looked exactly panicked by this but she looked bothered and annoyed.

You felt the pain on your neck subside as she retracted back her foot; standing up as she turned around and quickly left. You took that as your cue to get the fuck out of there, and that she wasn’t going to hurt you.

You laid on the forest floor for a couple minutes as you gathered your bearings and mustered up the strength to stand up, and attempt to find a way back home away from this hellish nightmare.

~

That horrid night of your run in with the satanists not only plagued your dreams to turn into nightmares, but it also become your go to story to tell at parties.

You knew telling ‘rumours’ of a satanic cult (espically around Halloween) was incredibly cheesy and you doubted anyone really believed you, but it always made people laugh and kept them intrigued. Hence why you were at currently at your own party on Halloween night, telling the same story yet again but worded a bit

The party you decided to throw remained somewhere in the middle between a casual friendly house party, and a frat party. This left you (and your friends) with a cup of alcohol in hand, in a somewhat revealing angel costume. You wore a silky white dress along with a cheap pair of angel wings and a halo to go along with it; along with makeup to match. Right now you just happened to be conversing amongst some acquaintances but more and more people seemed to be filing through into the house; people you didn’t know.

You knew you were just borderline tipsy because you couldn’t help but laugh at every line that this person whom you were talking too was saying but they seemed to look amused too.

“No way that happened”! The person you were talked too replied.

“Yes way! Why do you think I’m wearing this scarf? The number she left on my neck wouldn’t exactly go with the rest of my outfit”. You said with a small giggle at the half truth you told.

That definitely wasn’t a lie. When that woman had stepped on your neck she left a trmendous amount of bruising on your neck. Your neck was painted dark blues and purples, the real tone of your skin barely peeking through. Luckily you were able to pin wearing scarves on just the cold weather, and no one really think twice or seemed to question you over it.

You took another sip of the beverage you held, preparing to tell more of your notorious story before you heard the doorbell ring. You excused yourself as you walked through the dense crowd, wondering who the hell it was.

All of your dearest friends and everyone else that was invited was already here.. you could feel fear and anxiety start to nag at you but nevertheless you quickly opened the door without a second thought.

And you were speechless.

It was her. The woman who was the main character of the horror story you were previously telling stood in front of you, and she looked pissed.

You immeaditly felt in shock as you stepped outside with her and shut the door. You would’ve invited her inside but who knows what the hell her intentions were; you knew what she was capable of.

“How did you find me”?! You asked, the words came out as if you were angry but you really weren’t - just in shock and a bit scared.

She looked amused when you said this, like she could almost laugh but she just smirked at you instead.

“You made it too easy. It was common knowledge you were throwing a party this weekend, all I had to tell them that I was some relative of yours and I got your address just like that. Do you like my outfit”? She mused, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she did a quick spin for you.

It was obvious she was attempting to dress as the devil, she wore a headband that had small devil horns on them along with a beautiful red dress that clung tightly to her skin, showing off the best parts of her body. She also wore a black cape on with two metals clasps on either side with a chain connecting them; she looked beautiful. Although this did nothing to the fact of how confused and mildly annoyed you were at her appearance.

“I know your not here for the party. What do you want? If you wanted to just see me, or find another victim - this is not the place or time to do it” You said.

You two stood outside by the front door, the air was just cold enough to make you want to go back inside but not to the point where you were uncomfterable. The sounds of halloween filled your sense, the vague smell of pumpkin and the sound of kids roaming the neighborhood for candy was a comforting distraction. However it wasn’t enough for you to forget about the woman standing in front of you. She lost her smirk and amused look completely before she replied to you.

“Who exactly do you think you are to know what my wants are needs are? And what makes you qualified to fulfill them?” She asked and you stood there.. utterly speechless.

She took a step toward you and looked at you directly in the eyes - clearly not intimidated or scared of you at all. It was almost as if she was teasing you; taunting you.

You felt so fucking stupid, you didn’t have a good answer to her question. In fact you don’t really know why you even asked her that. You took a deep breath and even though she was a mere foot or two away from you; you refused to back up and look as if you were intimidated.

“It’s just, I don’t even know your name. I don’t know the first thing about you or how you even found about this party. I just.. don’t know what your intentions are”. You stated dumbly.

You had no expectations or guess for what she would do next but you felt your soul leave your body for a split second as she advanced toward you even closer - almost like she was going to kiss you only for her to just brush up past you and open your front door. She got so close to you to the point where you felt her soft blonde hair brush up against your face for a moment.

“I can’t talk to you about it out here”. She stated and grabbed your hand, pulling you inside behind her. You held onto her hand as walked you into the house, not even letting you shut the door which stayed open ajar.

You couldn’t help but blush at how soft and smooth her hand felt, yet the feeling also made you shudder since her hand seemed to be ice cold.

You were worried about getting weird looks from people about holding another girls hand but everyone seemed to preoccupied to notice, or merely just didn’t care.

She led you into one of the first rooms that was visible from the front door, clearly not caring whether it was a bedroom, bathroom or some other kind of room. She quickly opened the door and closed it after nearly pushing you in. Almost immeaditly she pulled off her headband and took her heels off, throwing them carelessly in the room as she rolled her eyes.

“I’m so glad I don’t have to wear that shit anymore”. She said with a slight chuckle.

“Why dress up then if you hate it?” You asked, genuinely curious.

“Because I had to look the part in order to come to this party to get to you. Anyone not dressed up on Halloween always looks suspicious, I thought you knew that”. She answered.

You blushed at her first sentence but out of being shy you decided to ignore that part, assuming she was probably referring to something else - there was no way she would’ve came all the way here just for the sake of asking you on a date. The thought was stupid and irrational.

“You could’ve just dressed up in your satanist outfit, you did look beautiful in it”. You said.

As soon as the words came out of your mouth you felt stupid for even admitting that you thought of her as attractive let alone beautiful.

“Beautiful? Even with blood dripping down my neck you think I looked beautiful”. The second part was said as if it were a statement.

She took a couple steps toward you, putting her fingers lightly on your cheek as she gently pushed her thumb under your chin - forcing you to look up at her. It didn’t hurt by any means but it definetly felt uncomfterable. You waited for her to make a move; either to kiss you or say something but she did neither. She merely stared at you. To break the suffocating silence you spoke.

“You know, you never answered my question ealier”. You said as she still held her face gently on your face. She looked at you as if she was studying you, observing - waiting for you to do something.

“The one about why I came here? I already told you - I came for you. I’ve heard all of the crazy bullshit rumours you’ve been telling - and if you were anyone else I would’ve just slit your throat and sacrificed you by now but.. I think I’ve already tainted your beauty enough with those delicious bruises I left on your neck”. She said, she eyes traveling down to the scarf that you wore that covered the bruises.

You felt beyond bewildered and as if the air had been completely knocked out of you once again. The fact that she was trying to gaslight you into thinking that what you saw that night wasn’t even real was the most shocking. The next was how she commented on your beauty, was she returning back your feelings or was she just trying to lead you on before she murdered you? Under your own roof? You wouldn’t put it past her.

“Take it off”. She spoke, her hand that was on your face slowly traveled down to the end of your scarf, giving it a gentle tug.

You gave her a slight smirk, you figured you might as well flirt - who knows how this night was going to end after all.

“Your not even going to buy me dinner first”? You teased.

Your hands gently started to unwind the scarf that you had tightly wrapped around your neck and she watched intensively, almost like she was in a trance.

“Sorry angel but I’m not really the type who likes to go on dates, or let alone has the time or patience for them”. She said, making eye contact with you again.

A darkness gleamed in her eyes but you still tried to stand your ground and not let her intimidate you.

You threw the scarf on the floor. You still were fully clothed but you couldn’t help but feel naked and exposed, your embarrassing bruises on full display. She pushed your chin up and got even closer. Taking a finger and very lightly traced the outline of one of the more prominent bruises. It didn’t hurt but you felt on edge, and scared at the fact that your neck was on full display for basically a cannibal. What was stopping her from pulling out a knife or doing something crazy such as biting into your throat?

The idea of your life ending so suddenly with this woman you didn’t even know the name of made your heart start to beat rapidly, and you felt sick.. anxious.. you needed to get out of this room but you stayed put.

It was almost as if she could sense this and she drew her hand back, as you lowered your head back down in its normal position.

“You look divine, beautiful isn’t even the right adjective to describe your beauty. You would put a real angel to shame with your looks”. She said. For a second, you completely forgot it was Halloween or that you were even in a costume to begin with.

She only strayed a inch again away from your face now. She slowly approached closer and closer, you felt her cold hands gently grab at your waist - and you couldn’t help but jump just slightly at the suddenness of it. You couldn’t help but breathe faster when you felt her nose gently bump against yours - knowing what was about to happen.

“Are you okay”? She asked you, barely whispering.

You swore you could almost taste her breath and feel her lips moving at how close she was. Close but yet not close enough.

You wanted this; you wanted nothing more than to close the gap between you two but you also knew deep down this was wrong. This woman was a murderer, she didn’t deserve love.. right?

Everyone deserves compassion and acceptance - sure. You could offer her that but you knew certainly it wasn’t your place to forgive her for her acts but.. after all that’s not why you were currently in the posistion that you were in. You weren’t about to kiss her because you felt sorry for her, it’s because you felt hopelessly drawn to a woman you barely even met. A woman you didn’t know the name of.

Like a moth drawn to a flame, you knew she was dangerous but yet.. that almost made you want her more.

It felt wrong to speak out loud so you merely nodded your head very slightly, the posistion you were in made it hard to move but you were still able to move your head a little bit. You doubted her eyes were open to see your movement but you were hoping maybe she felt you move instead; and that was when you heard her soft sultry voice ask you,

“Can I kiss you”?

You swiftly wrapped your arms around the back of her neck and you moved in a inch closer, just enough so that the distance between you two was finally closed.

The kiss was wet, and short lived. The taste of her lipstick lingered as you pulled away rather reluctantly. The way how her lips lingered on yours told you that she didn’t want to stop but you knew you should pull away; this chaos had to stop.

This was a dangerous fucking game you were playing, what were you thinking? That you would somehow be different and that she would decide to spare you for some reason? You removed your hands from her shoulders as you awkwardly stumbled back. Your heart started to race and you could feel yourself start to turn backwards, getting ready to open the door and just dip. You could never explain how you feel, how would she understand? More importantly - why would she care?

Just as you felt your feet move to turn your heard her voice, it was soft yet still held onto her confidence that her voice typically held but.. she sounded a bit defeated.

“Your scared”. She stated.

You froze as you took a deep breath, now facing the door with your back facing her.

“Scared of what?” Your words hung in the air for a few dense, quiet moments.

Scared of what she would say, yet scared of the thick silenceness that seemed to be your only other option. You decided to muster up the courage spontaneously to turn around and face her and that’s exactly when she answered your question.

“Of me. Your scared of me. I can hear your heartbeat, I can tell your terrified of me”. She stated.

Her words felt like they cut you as if she had thrown knives at you; you immeaditly felt embarrassed for how you felt, the urge to just leave was stronger than ever but you had a feeling she wouldn’t just let you go so easy.

The mention of her hearing your heartbeat seemed to fly right over your head, you didn’t give it a second thought.

You wanted to move to leave, or to hug her but you did neither. You stood frozen, as you felt tears start to well up in eyes and run hotly down your cheeks.

I’m sorry. I-I don’t want to be scared of you but it’s not fair for you to assume that I can just ignore what I saw”. You answered.

Taking another deep breath you looked up and met her eyes, she looked at you curiously - still as if she was studying you.

She took steps toward you, up until her hand gently rested on your cheek and you couldn’t help but foolishly lean into it ever so slightly.

“Baby, I’m not expecting you to ignore it - all I want is for you to keep quiet about it. I can’t have the entire town thinking I’m a satanist anymore darling”.

You wanted to argue but you merely giggled and smiled.

“That’s understandable. Speaking of.. your hobby.. shouldn’t you be elsewhere on Halloween? Like at some elaborate death ritual or some kind of Halloween ceremony”? You asked.

You felt completely shocked when you felt her hand suddenly pull away and you felt her tongue lick a stripe directly from your chin up to your cheek, licking up your precious tears. She kissed the side of your mouth before pulling away.

“Halloween was never my favorite holiday. My job.. requires a lot out of me. Some of which you’ve seen but celebrating a holiday that practically mocks who I am and makes it into entertainment just isn’t my style”. She explained.

“Then who are you”?

She gave you a smirk, and just as you heard a crack of thunder (or lighting, it was impossible to tell) you swore you saw her crystal blue eyes turn a jet black, before returning to their typical appearance. You swore maybe it was just your mind playing tricks on you or maybe a trick of the light.. you supposed you would never know.

She wore a shit eating grin as if she wanted to say ‘if only you knew’. She swiftly walked past you once again and opened to the door to let herself out;

“Call me Mikey”.

The door slammed shut and there you stood, feeling defeated, hopeless but determined. Determined to find her again, even if all you had to go off was a appearance and a nickname.

You were going to be this woman’s girlfriend whether or not it killed you.

#my fic #my works #Michael x reader #Michael Langdon x reader #fem! Michael #fem! Michael x reader #fem! Michael Langdon x reader #I also posted this on AO3 #AHS #AHS apocalypse #AHS fics

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

BFCD Reviews by Nesha: Grace Monroe & The Infinity Train on HBO Max

Disclaimer: Post includes spoilers and also, this viewer does not deem Infinity Train as a children's show and my views are not subjected to the idea that this is a children's show, but I do regard the characters as children.  

I’m not a psychiatrist. I haven’t taken a psychology class in many years. My work with children has been primarily trauma centered children, and I haven’t worked with typical children for a decade, so most of my opinions are from my personal life experience, my work experience, my children’s rights advocacy and activism, and the guidelines from my childcare specialist work for children in the system in the state of Texas. I don’t have a lot of information these days on typical children and I don’t know the culture of children all over the country or world, but I basically know a little something about traumatized children.

And as always, be nice, because I can be mean too (and will). 😉

Special thanks to @i-am-a-passenger for listening to me and being a SOUND sounding board for my thoughts through this experience that was season 3 of Infinity Train.

To be honest, I thought that it was extremely brave of the creators to go the route that they did with the story line. Not everybody can be saved is a take that we don’t see nearly enough, and whenever we do, usually a POC, oftentimes a Black girl is on the losing end of the tale. That didn’t happen here and despite some problems with some of the way that things played out in front of us, it was STILL a monumental moment for many fans and Grace’s redemption arc was valid and reasonable, so I loved it and I live for it. Now, I’m gonna give my review of the season and what I noticed about the characters...

First off, I think that the writing of this season was phenomenal. The style of the way the story was told impressed me from start to finish. There were moments that I didn’t expect, but I understood from a writing standpoint and for the characters presented. I’m not a professional writer, but it’s been a passion since I was 7 years old, so I have some experience with passion for writing and stories and a great narrative is my WEAKNESS, and I do believe that Infinity Train provides great narratives. 

This season has been my favorite thus far. I would have appreciated it for the story content, even if they had switched the characters’ arcs or went in a different direction with the redemption arc, but the fact that I was able to see an example of a Black girl being able to BE HUMAN, at my age - 38 - is still such new content that I was honestly overwhelmed by the simple fact that the creators decided that this Black girl was worthy of not only redemption, but the attention to detail and consideration was enough for me to love this season.   

The girl in question: 18 year old Grace Monroe, whose been on this train for something like 7 years.

It’s rare to see a dark skinned, brown skinned, Black girl with natural hair be shown in anything but stereotypes and/or plot devices for other characters. This character has a story of her own. A beautifully written and fully realized story of a child who got confused, made bad decisions, did terrible things, learned the truth, and sought to change.

Whenever we first meet Grace and Simon, she’s announced as the leader of the Apex, and Simon is announced as her second in command and given the credentials from her, “I trust him with my life.” Something that is later a bittersweet thought as he becomes the biggest threat of her life since she got onto this train. They’re clearly very close and only seem to disagree on how they respond to negativity.

One of my favorite things about Grace was that she was given layers. One of my LEAST favorite things about Grace was that she was given unfair head canons by the fandom extremely early on (all of which nobody ever proved but remained diligently devoted to believing). 

In this season, when the two are taken out of their comfort zone and traveling with outsiders, Grace and Simon are faced with lives that they haven’t thought about previously and wind up choosing very separate paths. Honestly, these paths they went on made perfect sense to me. I see both of them as traumatized children without any guidance and while one of them is very careless and reckless (Grace), the other is deliberate about what he does and has goals and plans. 

The biggest influence, I think, was their interactions with denizens prior to forming the Apex. Grace admittedly never got to know any while Simon was betrayed by one whenever she left him behind to potentially die. Simon carried this rage inside of him while Grace had nothing but apathy to guide her attitude of the denizens. Grace needed attention and she was able to get that from Simon and the Apex, so she made a life built on what that gave her.

While Grace tends to seem to try to sweeten the issue or charm people. Simon is more short with others and a bit rude. They handle things much differently, though they have created a lifestyle together and formatted a society of children that they lead.

All too frequently, if a character looks like Grace, she is there as fodder for whoever her (usually white) counterparts are. But Grace has a unique situation in which she shares center stage with her white male counterpart and we watch them develop together from two peas in a pod to mortal enemies. It is a sad separation, but one that felt necessary for the direction of the story. But here’s why Grace matters so much, despite the fact that she and Simon built a child army and killed we don’t even know how many denizens:

Grace changed for the better. When both of them met and got to know a denizen, she began to change. She didn’t understand it at first and took some time to admit to herself that she was even changing. She thought that something was wrong with her because her number was going down and that wasn’t supposed to be how it was. What she thought was that it made her look weak and she didn’t want Simon or the Apex to see her that way.

And saying that Grace changed for the better is sort of shaky, too. Because Grace wasn’t a bad person to begin with. She was a child who got on the wrong track. Going from being extremely alone to having one friend to having hundreds or however many Apex kids of followers changed her for the worse, but she was a good kid at her core. She was lonely in the real world and she acted out, then wound up on this train, had a life changing event by having to see “The Conductor” and translate what happened to her as someone saving her, and she went on to help save others, or so she thought, to some degree. 

Whenever she saved Simon, she had literally no reason to, other than she saw a kid in trouble and she knew she could help.She had just as little life skills and social skills as this kid in front of her, but... he was crying and she reached out to try to make him feel better, reminding him that even though life on the train was hard, he was alright now. Then, another life changing thing happened - Simon noticed that her number was higher and asked her how she got it so high. She knew just as much as him, and said that she was really good at life on the train, and the way she took that ghom out - she wasn’t completely wrong, but them being children and having only time and their limited views started a cult.

What I found interesting about this memory was the fact that Simon was telling Grace’s story for her. She tagged her charm onto it, but Simon (the writer of their laws and apparently a trilogy that not even Grace, who likes to read things wanted to read while they were besties) is telling the story to the kids. Probably embellishing, and Grace loves to be noticed, so she keeps this up until they’ve formatted an entire belief system. It was basically just I presumed whenever I questioned the reputation this fandom gave Grace as a manipulator who filled Simon’s head with hatred for denizens and Apex theology.It confirmed that people were wrong about her, which unfortunately didn’t make them change their minds, but they ain’t gotta. Grace lived and Simon died and that’s how this turns out sometimes.

I was able to at least acknowledge that his death was atrocious and it’s very unfortunate that he didn’t change for the better. He wanted control. He wanted power. He wanted to reign. Those things were more important to him than believing anything that went against his ideals. They were more important than Grace and his relationship with her. Meanwhile, Grace, up until even after he was gone cared about him. She defended herself whenever he attacked her, but she tried not to hurt him. She even tried to talk to him and he once again refused to listen. She saved his life AGAIN, and he still tried to kill her. Despite it all, when he was gone, she cried. Her friend was gone. Another life had been taken, and life meant something else to her now. 

Even paper birds mattered now, and thanks to that difference inside of her, she didn’t die. But, I expected her to. Not even because it would’ve made sense or helped the story in any way, but because that’s how it usually goes for characters like her, characters who LOOK like her. The fact that it didn’t brought tears to my eyes. This season was amazing. This ending was amazing. This character was amazing. I’m so pleased with it and it was more than I expected, because instead of setting expectations, I let them tell me the story. They did an excellent job.

I've been asking people since she first appeared in season 2 why they thought that Simon was some helpless and she was this dominating figure that bossed him into this lifestyle and mostly it came back to her higher number. i didn't think we were being shown that, so I've been suspicious every time someone has suggested that Grace got Simon started in this or taught him this and now that it's been debunked, I'm even more irritated with the suggestion that her redemption doesn't make sense or wasn't right. 

The thing about Simon was that he seemed fine. He seemed innocent, at times. He seemed like someone to sympathize with... What a lot of his fan base doesn't seem to realize is that is the case with every abuser. That is the case with many killers. Bad backgrounds and hard times coming up don't make for an excuse. Just because I GET his personality, doesn't mean he deserves respect or consideration. But then, we have Grace, on this other end who can't even get the recognition she earned through her decision making when she literally had the same childhood as him whenever they got there. Idk. Shit feels suspicious to me to not acknowledge Grace's redemption as well written. And the idea that Simon was doing these things for or because of Grace was proven as untrue, so there should have been a shift in her favor and there wasn't and my god that's some top shelf bullshit to me...

People frequently speak of Grace's manipulating Simon, possibly because they haven't had to try to use what you have to smooth someone over. The fact that Grace has been consoling Simon since they were children (THEY WERE CHILDREN), Because I see "Simon is a child" everyday, and always speak of his trauma, like Grace had none and like she's not the same age or near it. But, that's another thing that gets done to Black girls - they're aged up in people's prejudiced minds and expected to be more accountable than their peers. This GIRL has been repeatedly blamed for the issues of her friend.

And her "betrayal?" A lie she told to preserve life.

Simon proceeds to use her tape against her, leave her trapped inside of it (knowing it was dangerous, because the cat told him), sow lies about her in the Apex, pressure children that she knew to kill her, literally tried to beat her up and murder her, and kicks her as hard as he can after she saved his life AGAIN... He still gets more grace than Grace from the audience. I don't think people see Grace's humanity. People even assumed that her number was higher because she killed so many denizens... Like literally every wrong move doesn't affect numbers. And when faced with the story, which gives us a vulnerable Grace with flaws but also compassion, she's still been sidelined by fans of the show and nobody has given me any good reason as to why, so you already know, like we been knew. 😒

People have even tried to downgrade Simon's toxicity towards her because she led the Apex (and these people pretty much had similar things to say as people who didn't believe that my ex sexually abused me because of some examples of me being strong while arguing with him)...

THIS was triggering as fuck, but I've barely seen a PEEP about it. I'm going to presume that problematic takes of Grace are from a place of discrimination and dehumanization against another Black girl character like fandoms usually do.

But that just makes her matter more.

Good job, Grace. I knew there was good in you all along, and I didn't have to make up anything about you in my brain. ♥️♥️♥️

*Grace mourning a man that just tried to destroy her multiple times for telling a lie to keep him from killing a small child...

SPEAKING OF... The man double kicked her off that damn train in front of the kids AFTER they all saw her rescue him. Them kids might be messed up because of the Apex, but you can't tell me that Simon ain't further fuck them up with his reign. At least we know Grace was always nice to them. I'm glad they'll have each other to figure it all out.

#BFCD Reviews by Nesha #Infinity Train #Nesha Watches Infinity Train #Grace Monroe #Nesha Watches

[lonelyghosts-stuff]

Avengers Infinity War-First Time Watching Reaction Play-by-Play (Pt. 2)

Part 1

I wonder how many people Gamora has killed? What made her finally snap to not serve Thanos anymore?

How DID Gamora find it? Like, who told her?

How did Thanos capture nebula?

Poor nebula. She’s literally been through hell and back.

Ohhhh she snuck on board...

Thanos you suck so much. You favor one daughter over another.

Oh. Where was said map to the soul stone?

Gosh I feel so damn bad for nebula. She was raised as his daughter too but he tortured her and tore her apart. Nebula never had the chance to be her equal. She deserves so much.

Taught groot as an elective? What about all speak?

Buckle up rocket. It’s gonna get emotional.

Thor is literally all alone. He needs a time to sit alone and cry and break a whole building.

Rocket and Thor friends? Please

1500 years old? Jane, honey, you escaped.

Gotta give it up to Hemsworth’s acting chops here. Especially talking to nobody in reality. Just a bunch of cgi

Ew ew ew eye socket

Should have washed that yikes

Snuck it out by hiding it up your? Huh? You watch too many movies rocket.

Huge title card. Thank you. I wouldn’t have known where we were despite them saying their location many times.

How is that video game battery not dead?

Perceptive rabbit

I LOVE that they used a dwarf to play a giant character!!! This is brilliant! (And that dwarves are giant for some reason lol.)

Soooo again Thanos killed everyone EXCEPT Eitri despite his “morality” supposedly being balance

Poor hands

Poor nebula

Smart nebula

Maybe should have waited to be fixed fully first

Ah crap. SOMEONE PICK UP THE SPACE PHONE

MANTIS

Love how Stark asks for peters help in steering and not Stephen lmao

Nice parking job

Peter, stop popping pop culture refs

Lmao ITS ABOUT TO BE THE ICONIC SCENE

YES PLEASE

Blanket of Death. Capey has a new nickname.

Where’s Gamora

Who’s Gamora

Why is Gamora

What master do you serve?

Jesus?

I mean, yea I do. So does Pratt lmaoo.

LMAO PARKER’S FACE WHEN QUILL SAID THOR WASNT HANDSOME

Storm breaker time baby

“In theory it could summon the bifrost” who theorized this? How do you only theorize and not know?

Oh my gosh mantis is just bouncing around

Mr. Clean lmao

Kick names, take ass

Hey now, these guys saved the galaxy and universe from Ego so lmao

Oh no I know the scene coming up

Poor quill lmao

“I’m half human. So the 50% of me that’s stupid, that’s 100% of you.” “Your math is, blowing my mind.” What’s funny is that Quill’s math was actually completely accurate lol

Stephen having a stroke or a seizure? You good homie?

Soooo if Strange looked to the future and so possible outcomes, what does that mean for the TVA? According to them, there’s ONE sacred timeline, so all other branches are erased (which again messes up what smart hulk eventually says in end game. See kids, this is why you don’t mess with time travel in stories. There’s no way to go back in time without creating a time loop). Ehhhhh I’ll let it slide. Just ignore it... sigh... I can’t help it if I’ve studied paradoxes

Hmmmm not good odds I’ve gotta say...

Watch like, outside of the millions of realities that strange saw, there were like a million or billion more he missed where they won with no casualties lol

Hey Red Skull. Long time no see. How did he get here anyways and why?

Yea you’re prepared all right...

Gotta say, Lord Elrond has seen better days

I’m not ready to say good bye to this Gamora. Gamora and Loki and Nat go down as my favorite characters, gotta say. I know that Tony does and it’s sad, but his feels more satisfying because his sacrifice directly results in them winning. Loki is murdered. Gamora is murdered. Nat died just for a stepping stone for the avengers. She has no idea whether or not they will actually win in the end.

I’m hopeful they may bring Nat back like in the comics, red room clone style.

We got back vision, Loki (kinda), variant Gamora, a new captain America, why not Nat? Yea we have a prequel, but gosh I love her so much.

“You must lose that which you love.” Couldn’t that apply to like an object or something? Could I not throw my Nintendo switch over the cliff? Or my dog? (I would hate that just as much as a person, don’t get me wrong, I’m just curious about the rules)

Yea boohoo sad for Thanos... loses his favorite daughter. I don’t care about him. He deserves suffering.

Poor Gamora doesn’t think he’s willing to do it.. GIRL RUN!!!

Thanos deserves all the suffering.

He does love you Gamora... but that love... it’s selfish. It’s blind... Thanos seems to be a chaotic vigilante who is narrowminded, tunnel vision on his goal with no regards of the cost. But he is evil. If there is ever an alternate route to an end that doesn’t result in the loss of innocent lives, and you know that but you willingly choose the once that costs innocent lives, that is an evil decision. Maybe Thanos isn’t evil, but he’s not good. Far from it. He’s obsessed with this idyllic Utopia but he rushes to one method of getting there. Yes, people suffer. It sucks... it’s unfair... it’s horrible. But it is never the right of someone else to dictate whether or not said person would be better off dead. Who lives, who dies. If Thanos truly was neutral and not selfish, he would have thrown his own life into the mix of the potential 50/50 snap. Thanos is not good. He’s not misunderstood. He’s a murderer. A genocidal cult leader. I have no tears for him. Only for those who suffered more at his hands.

Rant over, time to try not to cry about Gamora...

Her face of realization

Gamora run please

Thanos, I hate you. (Great character her, but not a good person)

Poor Gamora

Oh my gosh the emotion here is great but I’ve heard this sound used as a meme on TikTok too many times aghhhh

Gamora!

What a way to die

I’m crying again. I miss her already...

Who the hell designed this place and put the stone here???? Who did this?

Cry Thanos. Suffer. My only comfort here is that you are sad. You deserve suffering. You really do...

The TVA is laughing here and I’m not okay..

Poor Peter Quill... he’s also lost a lot like Thor, but has had the “luck” of not knowing his family too close.

Wakanda babyyyy

No, you don’t want Starbucks, you want Dutch bros

Lmao I love rhodey. Poor Bruce.

BUCKY BUCKY BUCKY

HUG

NO CMON HAVE A LONG HUG

MALE FRIENDSHIPS ARE SO IMPORTANT.

Yea Shuri show em up.

Okay quick pause, I love love LOVE how Shuri is smarter. It’s a powerful moment for females BUT it’s not done in a way that’s condescending to males! It’s not saying women power because men bad, she’s just good! (And she has had access to technology they never could have but I digress). More of this please Hollywood. Don’t let being a female be the power. I don’t want strong female characters, I want strong characters who happen to be female. Ones who hold their own, have faults like anyone else, struggle, have weaknesses and strengths, but are strong without putting down others. Just a comment, just because a woman character may not be as strong as a man character, that is not saying she’s weak. If you’re the second strongest human in the world, you are NOT weak. You’re just not as strong as the strongest human ever, but that’s nothing against you. LET WOMEN STAND ON THEIR OWN MERITS WITHOUT SEX AFFECTING THEM!

Anyways

I love Shuri

I wish they had more time. She definitely could have done it. But stupid Thanos

Ughhhghhg

I know what many scenes are upcoming... with quill and peter and vision and everyone else

Let👏🏻Bucky👏🏻Have👏🏻Peace👏🏻

Thank you Nat!!! I love that Nat is so protective and selfless.

GET THIS MAN A SHIELD

Bucky needs love please. He’s my stand in, manipulated, greasy, long haired, dark and mysterious, stabby boy. (Also I need Bucky and Loki to meet. But let Loki finish his show (and come out of it alive because if he doesn’t I will sue) and be the antihero hero we need. Please. If he doesn’t get reintroduced into the mcu as a hero I will sue.

Thor, sweetie, are you a masochist?

Back to wakanda

Oh no, bad CGI, floating head Bruce banner. I’ll let it slide... sigh....

Can’t like, you just rain bombs on them forever?

JIBARI TRIBE YEA BOYYYYY

Sorry Proxima Midnight, you look like a frog and your name sounds like a middle schooler’s OC.

How nice. Diplomatic meeting.

“Thanos will have nothing but dust and blood.” Reeeeeeally wish you didn’t say that, T’Challa...

Yay big CGI battle commence! It’s like a really expensive animated cartoon at this point

WAKANDA FOREVER!

Poor Bucky. Forgot this dude doesn’t know much about the modern world.

Ahhhh Kamikazi aliens

I just wanna say that I love that Wakanda still has the artistic culture in their clothing and tradition all the while having badass, super advanced technology.

Why can’t they just rain bombs down the whole fight lol. Rhodey has those super nice bombs, like, do that they he whole time? Please? Why do you not have a barrier around the entire king.

No M’Baku, it’s not the end of wakanda. But half of all life, yea

WAKANDA FOREVER YEAAAAAAA

They should honesty all have nano tech suits like black panther lol. Or iron man suits. Fine maybe the most powerful one with the best quality material for the king, but besides that, yknow.

Wow Steve is hot with a beard.

So much happening at once. Thor, Wakanda, Vormir, Knowhere, am I missing anything?

Okay, but what IS the full force of a star? Like in Newton’s or something? Juls? Is it heat?

What’s this metal? How does it fare with vibranium?

Get off your wooden butt, groot.

“He needs the axe” are you Thor, the god of axes?

Soooo, I thought Thor didn’t NEED the hammer, it just helped him concentrate his powers or act as a conduit. Is that retconned already?

Cmon groot, put down your game. Soooo, is Groot worthy? He technically lifted it. Or is it a technicality because it wasn’t fully finished yet?

Cmon bucky, use that fancy arm of yours.

Wow they’re getting destroyed.

They need wanda to help.

BADASS ENTRANCE BABYYYY

How did Thor know to come to wakanda?

Floaty head Bruce

“BRING ME THANOS!”

Ahhhhhahahaha yeaaaaaa

Cry Thanos. Do it. I hate you.

Much more of a purple grape nutsack.

Oh gosh... I know what Peter Quill is going to do. I still don’t hate him.

“With all six stone I would simply snap my fingers. They would all cease to exist.” Orrrr, now hear me out, I know I sound like a broken record now but... MAYBE DOUBLE THE RESOURCES INSTEAD?? That’s not mercy. That’s not up to you to decide whether or not someone’s better off dead.

Smoosh

Yea quill has experience with the power stone

AIM FOR THE HEAD

Cmon it’s basic zombie tactics

I love peter quill lmao

Go capey!!!

Magic with a kick!

Poor Peter

CAPEY NOOOOOO

Wow he’s OP

Ouch quill just got majorly clotheslined

NEBULA

“Where’s Gamora?” 😭😭😭 SHE CARES AGHHHH

Restrain him! Work it mantis!!!

Why even remove the gauntlet, just slit his throat... kill him....

Quill no... stop being cocky...

Oh no

Quill please don’t

JUST SLIT THANOS’ THROAT

Quill please....

Poor quill. Just lost the person who really really loved him

Okay, I still love star lord. Idc what others think. He reacted realistically. If you hate peter quill for how he reacted, you better also hate Tony Stark for how he reacted to bucky when he learned bucky killed his parents despite knowing for a fact that bucky was brainwashed. Yes it was annoying... yes they were so close, but quill is so human here. I don’t hate him. He gets too much hate for acting like any normal person would have. Distraught, grief filled, he lost his love. Someone who helped him open up and finally move on from his mother’s death and fathers villainy.

Spider man saving mantis gives me life

How did that power stone blast not kill them?

Clearly Thanos has played Majora’s Mask. At least he has good taste.

So close vision.... but I know... I know what happens.

YES BUCKY AND ROCKET GUN CIRCLE.

Lmao give rocket Bucky’s old arm.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.” Comedy gold

Cmon Thor, go after the big one first.

Cmon wanda, save them. We need some scarlet witch magic up here to stop these

Okay that was so cool. AND THEN SHE USED THE BLADES

Oh no but now Shuri is alone

So close yet so far.... Dangit... vision was almost good

Ouch. Bonk to the head

YEA BLACK WIDOW

BADASS TIME

AND OKOYE!!

LETS GOOOOOOO

BADASS WOMEN

Ouch poor vision

Cmon Thor back up vision

Please

Hulk is in his feels

Cmon hulk grow up

Ooooh smart move banner

Aaaaand he’s gone

Giant blade look oit

Corvus, screw off.

YEA STEVE

WHERE IS THOR WHEN YOU NEED HIM

CMON NAT

Oh dang. Nice one wanda. But also, sheesh. Helluva way to go. But no big.

Yea vision. Stabby time.

Now vision and Steve, kiss.

Spider man saving everyone’s lives.

YEA STRANGE

Where was this in New York???

MULTIPLYING

WHY DIDNT YOU DO THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE????

Oh no

Well then... ouch. Soooo where’s the real stone???

Hey look Tony, you have a fan.

Okay I’m just pissed odd they didn’t just kill Thanos when they had him subdued. Like, worry about the glove AFTER he’s not longer a threat

Oof

Tony is taking a beating

HE WAS STABBED

WHAT

I don’t want your respect Thanos. That’s an insult.

They will remember him. They will remember him Thanos. When he kills you.

DOCTOR STRANGE WHAT?

You really doing this??? I guess he knows what needs to unfold for them to win... dang. I wouldn’t trust him tho.

Peter Quill in berserker mode

Where’d he go?

Name dropping the second movie

Strange knows everything about to go down. Who dies, who lives, what Thanos is about to do... he’s accepting his soon dusted demise because Stark needs to live...

AIM FOR THE HEAD UGHHHHH

Stop teleporting. That’s Loki’s gimmick.

KILL THIS RAISIN LOOKING NUTSACK UGH

Homie way too OP

Poor wanda and Vis...

HER LIP TREMBLE

PHENOMENAL ACTING

SAY I LOVE YOU

I JUST FEEL YOU

AGGHHHH IM CRYING AGAIN

Poor wanda. To have to kill her love... this.. this is a sacrifice Thanos... not your murder....

Wow Steve is holding back Thanos with pure brute

WANDA IS SO STRONG

HOLDING BACK THANOS WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY BREAKING THE MIND STONE

I LOVE YOU

AGHHHHHHHHH

And I know what happens next...

Poor wanda

Piss off thanos you understand nothing

You lost more than she could know? Bull crap. You are causing everyone to lose...

Cruel reality. Wanda has to see him die twice. RIP Vision

RIP half of all life...

AIM FOR THE DAMN HEAD

IF THOR KILLED HIM THEY COULD HAVE USED THE GAUNTLET TO BRING EVERYONE BACK TO LIFE. USED THE TIME STONE TO REVIVE THEM ALL.

How did that not kill Thanos tho. It may not have been a head shot but still.

Lil Gamora

What is this place?

Is this the soul realm?

Thanos, I hope you suffer forever. You deserve all the pain...

Rest In Peace: Vision, Loki, Bucky, T’Challa, Groot, Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter Parker (I don’t feel so good), and everyone else...

Thank you Nebula.

Thanos, you do NOT deserve to retire peacefully—wipe that smile off of your face

Oop, Rest In Peace Maria Hill and Nick Fury too... Motherfu— (so close Sammy boy...)

Yea Thanos you didn’t really think that through. Much more than half will died since other people rely on other peoples lives

Good thing he hit that button last minute huh? I wonder how captain marvel would fare in the TVA? are her powers considered magic? I mean, she clearly doesn’t know everything since she only just learned about Thanos (which is funny because she was supposedly traversing the universe to protect people)

Welp... onto movie two!

[regrettablewritings]

Podcasts, Youtubes, and TV Shows to Distract Yourself With Because Why Not, and Also Because I Wanna Blab About Some of These

Since I can’t go to work and horrify my coworkers/make them realize I’m a mess and/or nerd by telling them about the type of media I’m into, I’m foisting my recommendations on all of y’all who choose to read this. I frankly do not care how many people have actually heard of these things because I’m also sure there’s plenty of people who, like me, are very slow and oblivious to entertainment, or who have heard of the property but were never that convinced.

Kipo and the Age of the Wonderbeasts

Type: TV series

200 years after a mysterious yet earth-shattering event, much of humanity has taken to living beneath the surface in communities called burrows, wherein life goes on, if effected somewhat by the bizarre fauna that exists above them (referred to as “mutes”, short for “mutant”). One burrow girl, Kipo, founds her world turned almost literally inside-out when she finds herself not only separated from her father and the only world she’s ever known, but on the surface, no less. What ensues is her trying to find her way back home with the help of a stony-faced little girl with a massive chip on her shoulder; a music enthusiast and his literal gadfly friend; and some . . . unusual allies that only an oblivious optimist like Kipo could make. All to a kickass soundtrack, a beautiful backdrop of art, and a world where animals have basically evolved into gangs under a looming threat known as Scarlemagne. If you can’t already tell, I love this series to bits and now is the perfect time for people to get into it and encourage another season of it. Just . . . don’t think too hard that whatever happened to cause the Event in the show happened in October 2020 . . .

Available on: Netflix

My Dad Wrote a Porno

Type: Podcast

This should go without saying, but this podcast is definitely meant for more mature audiences. Or somebody with a strong stomach. Not that it’ll always be easy to tell with the type of content this series gives. When Jamie Morton’s father handed him his manuscripts for his self-published books, he had no idea he was being given a pinnacle of a polished turd: It was erotica. Really, really, really bad erotica. But the ear’s trash is the heart’s pleasure with this bad girl, as Jamie enlists the company of friends Alice and James to provide commentary on “Rocky Flintstone”’s series Belinda Blinked, a drama chronicling the sexcapades of Belinda Blumenthal as she climbs the ladders (and men and women) both in and out of the cut-throat world of pots and pans sales. What follows is a goldmine of awkward metaphors, strange bedmates, and just an overall stampede of whiplashing events that somehow exceed expectations. Listen in if you dare . . . And make sure you’re in good company for it. Fun Fact, though: Daisy Ridley, Ben Barnes, Lin-Manuel Miranda, Michael Sheen, Mara Wilson, Elijah Wood are but a few well-known fans of this series! Nobody is safe . . .

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

Lore

Type: Podcast

Sometimes, truth is stranger than fiction. And what better way to be reminded of that, then to have the dulcet tones of Aaron Mahnke tell you about the lighthouse incident that the 2016 movie The Lighthouse was loosely inspired by? Suffice to say, this podcast could also be interpreted with some advised discretion, but definitely in a way that’s different from My Dad Wrote a Porno. In the centuries humankind has existed, we’ve managed to create a menagerie of beasts, both fictional and in ourselves. Lore explores all the many different kinds of events and persons and creatures we have to offer. In any given episode, we could be talking about anything from the bizarre story of a lady who convinced 18th century physicians that she was giving birth to rabbits, to something more disturbing like the life of H.H. Holmes. Or something as relatively innocuous as the relationship between gremlins and flight. Regardless of the subject, however, you’ll definitely walk away knowing something new, if bizarre. And perhaps slightly terrifying.

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

The Amelia Project

Type: Podcast

Congratulations: You have been made aware of The Amelia Project. If you’re not interested in this, exit the page. Now. If you continue, there’s no unhearing it. Good choice! A new interest awaits. If you don’t enjoy it, please consider the whole thing a hoax. Okay but in all seriousness, there’s no way to do The Amelia Project justice in just a simple description. The plot sounds quite simple, really: People want to disappear and start a new life, The Amelia Project is there to help – with a price. And that’s if you can actually get a hold of them! What really makes the show, however, are the people and the writing, and I’m not just talking about the almost childlike Interviewer with an obsession for hot cocoa. I’m talking about the clientele: I’m talking about the macabre-obsessed theme park owner who’s out for revenge; the cult leader who’s in way over his head; a Santa impersonator stuck in a miserable marriage with his own manager; an actual podcast character trying to outrun his creators. And obviously this would all be nowhere without the spectacular writing! I really can explain this series without blabbing on and potentially spoiling things; The Amelia Project is an experience!

Available on: Wherever podcasts can be found

LegalEagle

Type: Youtube channel

To be frank, I just like learning for the sake of learning, even if I may not always necessarily understand the topic or have any plans to use it in the foreseeable future. The big difference here being that at least this channel makes learning about the law fun and breaks it down. Headed by a certified lawyer (because what an age we live in, where professionals actually take time out of their lives to teach us common folk), there’s a multitude of series D.J. Stone uses to help break down the complex world of law, from reviewing the realism of procedural favorites (Law & Order, The Good Wife, HTGAWM, etc), to analyzing real-life situations, to even watching childhood media that has nothing to do with the law and determining how much money, say, Willy Wonka would owe in a lawsuit. In short, it is one of my worst subjects done in one of my favorite ways to learn! Plus, Stone hates business students and is perfectly willing to poke fun at law students so it’s all fun, frankly.

Available on: Youtube

Nando v Movies

Type: Youtube channel

Sometimes, movies are bad. Sometimes, they’re good. And sometimes, they could use a few adjustments in hindsight. Especially the nerdier movies where the directors may or may not have tried way too hard or way too little. And that’s where Nando comes in: Whether it’s explaining why a different villain might have worked better for a hero’s origin story movie, or analyzing how one seemingly small adjustment could’ve potentially made more sense in explaining characterization, this channel is always providing a new perspective on a movie or show you’ve probably seen and maybe weren’t necessarily too pleased with. (Or maybe you were – I enjoyed Justice League okay but I love the version he rewrote more.) Oh, yeah: Sometimes he does rewrites of movies or even series. So if you’re anything like me and you’re way into that, this is a channel you don’t want to miss out on.

Available on: Youtube

DEATH BATTLE!

Type: Youtube channel

Does anyone remember Deadliest Warrior? No? . . . How about that one time during lunch where you and your friend got into it over who would win in a death match between Superman and Goku? Good news: A buncha geeks did the math for you and have come out with the results! Specifically, hosts Wiz and Boomstick have analyzed the weapons, armor, and skills of each combatant in every episode, resulting in an ongoing series of absolute nonsense and satiation of bloodshed. The description is admittedly nothing crazy, but the amount of detail applied is honestly where it’s at: From calculating how loud Black Canary’s screams are to approximating Scrooge McDuck’s speed (I’m not kidding you), there’s actual thought put into the characters being assembled and how they might fair with their respective combatant. And it all comes together for an actual fight, often animated but always amazing. So if you’ve ever wondered if Thor could beat Wonder Woman, or if McGruff the Crime Dog stands a chance against Smokey the Bear (I’m…I’m being honest), then this is the show for you!

Available on: Youtube

Sideways

Type: Youtube channel

If there is music in that movie or show, it will be analyzed to a degree that, unless you’ve been trained in music, you would’ve probably never thought about. There isn’t necessarily much rhyme or reason to Sideways’ videos in terms of themes beyond music, but really, must they? Is it not enough that this man is screaming to the internet these wack and awesome trends he’s noticed in certain pieces associated with movies and musicals and the genius behind them? Could life not just be him explaining the symbolism of the instruments associated with the Crystal Gems of Steven Universe, or breaking down the cultures explored by way of the Black Panther soundtrack? Also, here’s a fun drinking game: Take a shot every time he mentions leitmotifs or the Dies Irae.

Available on: Youtube

Craig of the Creek

Type: TV show

In the woods of suburban Maryland, there exists a kid’s utopia: A place where horse girls are free to roam the fields, where a boy can be a king of garbage, and where children travel the sewers completely unsupervised. That is, until the dinner horn rings; then they have to go home until the next time they can return to The Creek. The show focuses on one specific trio (Craig, JP, and Kelsey) as every day, The Creek (and their own childish naivete) brings them new hijinks to experience. There’s a blissful lightheartedness to the show, in addition to a lot of creativity that feels like it was ripped straight out of your own imagination as a child (robots made from cardboard boxes, building portals using lights, etc). But beneath it all, there’s something just plain wild brewing. I don’t want to spoil anything, but CotC has some G-rated GOT shit going on the further along the series goes and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!

Available on: CN app, wcostream.com

And that’s probably enough for now, I think. Lemme know if you want any other suggestions, or how you’re findin’ ‘em if you take any of them up! Stay safe, stay healthy my dudes!

#quarantine #entertainment while in quarantine #podcasts #podcast recommendations #tv show recommendations #youtube recommendations #the void's crap #podcast suggestions #tv show suggestions #youtube suggestions #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #kipo #mdwap #belinda blinked #lore podcast #the amelia project #craig of the creek #cotc #sideways youtube #legaleagle #death battle #you WILL suffer my bullshit!!!!

[letterboxd]

Family.

“We’re trying to say: stop thinking about Manson as the embodiment of all evil. If he got a record deal, maybe nobody would have died.”

Jack Moulton talks cults, Trump and noise-cancelling headphones with American actress and screenwriter Guinevere Turner. Charlie Says is her latest film with frequent collaborator, Canadian director Mary Harron.

Of the serial-killer films currently in release, Charlie Says is the one that puts a strong focus on the women who often remain in the background of these retellings. Leslie Van Houten (Hannah Murray), Patricia Krenwinkel (Sosie Bacon), and Susan Atkins (Marianne Rendón)—the three women who killed for Charles Manson (Matt Smith)—are imprisoned in isolation in a California penitentiary, as well as psychologically imprisoned by Manson’s delusional ideas.

Then graduate student Karlene Faith (Merritt Wever) is given the job of rehabilitating the young women—as long as they are prepared to confront the horrors of their actions.

Turner co-wrote the 90s urban indie lesbian feature Go Fish directed by Rose Troche, which preceded her meeting with Harron. Charlie Says is their most recent collaboration, having partnered previously on American Psycho and The Notorious Bettie Page.

What interested you in writing a film about Charles Manson? Guinevere Turner: When the producers met with me they said they wanted to focus on the women as we definitely never got a sense of a story told from their perspective before. Once I found Karlene Faith’s book The Long Prison Journey of Leslie Van Houten [Faith’s study of the rehabilitation process and elongated incarceration of the three Manson Family girls], I saw a whole side of the story that literally never gets represented.

I got very excited that I could make a good movie out of this and it would also be an interesting commentary on what it says about society that we always treated these women like they’re interchangeable. Nobody’s ever asked “what happened to them?”, “what made them do what they did?” and more importantly “why did we stop talking about them?”. We never stopped talking to Charlie! There was a real opportunity to talk about men and women, who and when we pay attention to historically.

Did you get the chance to work with Karlene Faith in person before she passed away [in May 2017]? Yes, she was fantastic. It took a while to persuade her into talking to me at first. I slowly gained her trust via email, then we would talk on the phone, and eventually I would be visiting her apartment in Vancouver and we became friends. For about two years we were as thick as thieves.

Her book was obviously a huge resource but she was also useful for research as she was a woman of that time. She gave me a great visual, listening to her activist life outside of prison. When she met the girls for the first time she had all these assumptions that they were gonna be freaky psycho-killers and she was blown away by how sweet they were. She was immediately turned by them and she wanted to help them.

What were some of the unexpected realities of living in a cult environment that you wanted to portray? So I grew up in a cult environment as you probably knew so I assume that’s why you ask that question. [Ms. Turner spent the first eleven years of her life as part of the Lyman Family. They were devotees of Mel Lyman who believed he and his commune members would eventually live on the planet Venus. Though parted from her mother after birth, she and her younger sister were ejected from the Family when her mother eventually decided to leave. Ms. Turner considered returning at eighteen but chose to go to college instead.]

Yes, I read the article in The New Yorker. For me, I was excited to bring this knowledge in my DNA of what it’s really like living in that environment to represent both the good and the bad parts. You have those semi-orgy scenes and people doing acid, but also scenes where everyone is sitting around for dinner. That grounds it a little more. At the end of the day, it is a family—albeit an infamously weird one—but it is a bunch of people trying to live together.

While there’s the “everyday” quality to it I also wanted to show the volatility. It can be beautifully tranquil one moment and then turn on the dime into something scary and destabilizing. I feel like those things were true of my childhood. Mary Harron heard me talking about my upbringing for decades and she would always say “you should write about it”. I didn’t want to write about it specifically, but when I found this movie I thought I could bring something personal to the project that no other screenwriter could.

We’re curious about how you like to write. What music do you listen to while you work and are there any films you used as inspiration? I can’t listen to anything when I’m writing. I have noise-cancelling headphones that don’t cancel noise enough. I could live in an actual sensory deprivation tank while I write and I would be so happy, but unfortunately you can’t bring computers underwater. So, no music.

I watched a lot of movies of the era, especially unconventional movies about Jesus such as Jesus Christ Superstar (1973). Those were interesting aesthetically.

There’s a shot in the movie where they’re walking up the side of this mountain and I just loved that iconography. We were short for time on the day and I pleaded with Mary to make it happen. It made me so happy that it became one of the images they use for the promotion of the film. It does feel like this biblical journey and we were trying to capture that vibe.

What do you do to ensure the female gaze is considered from the script? I find a lot of that is intuitive. For example in this script, there has to be nudity but you notice that every time someone is naked in this movie it’s really uncomfortable. That’s one thing in terms of subverting male gaze, is that there’s no way that any person could see those scenes as objectifying the body for more than a nanosecond because of what’s happening.

It’s all about power, so I like that it’s portrayed as being uneasy. Even when Matt Smith is naked, Charlie is exerting power over someone else and she’s repulsed by him. That’s one of my favorite scenes in the movie.

How does your acting background feed into the way you write your characters? I think because I’m an actor I deeply feel the reality of what’s available for the average female actor to play. There’s tons of “someone’s girlfriend” and all the tropes, so for me when I’m writing I’m asking myself what about this is going to make an actor say “yes please, let me play that part!”.

I need to present something complex and challenging that they don’t often see. As someone who’s auditioned for many characters that I thought were poorly written, I try and give even the small parts something that will make an actor excited to play them.

What makes your creative partnership with Mary Harron work so well? It’s funny because we’ve never really asked ourselves that. Of course in the last week we’ve been asked that a lot while we’re in the same room and we look at each other like confused animals going “why does it work?”.

We realize that we have a similar sense of humor so we laugh a lot even while we’re writing all this dark stuff. The main factor is that we really trust each other. One of the hardest things about collaborating is that you’re not sure if someone is shooting down your idea because it doesn’t work or they’re jealous that it’s good. You need to trust that you can test stupid ideas with them.

When we first met in 1996 [shortly after Harron’s directing debut I Shot Andy Warhol and Turner’s writing debut Go Fish] we immediately had an affinity for each other and started writing together. It was as easy the first time we tried it as it is now. There’s not even much of an evolution. I feel really lucky for that because as a screenwriter it certainly means I have a lot more access to the movie than usual because the director is always checking in with me.

Despite all of the bleakness, it’s clear in the film that these women just wanted to be loved. There’s such a deep sympathy for them. What interests you about the line of responsibility for those influenced by dangerous charismatic leaders? I’d say everything about that interests me.

I’m drawing parallels to politics today such as the alt-right people that Trump influences, for example. We’re seeing echoes where people are mindlessly following a person who is validating evil, dangerous, and disgusting ideas. For these women I had to constantly remind myself that they did commit these horrible crimes.

I feel like Charles Manson and Donald Trump are apples and oranges except for the fact that they strike me as people where their only real fuel is power and that half the time they don’t know what they’re doing or saying, they’re just terrified of losing it. They almost have no internal life. They just feel when they have the power and when the power may be taken away and what they do to keep it makes people do terrible things. It’s like an addiction.

Matt Smith as Charles Manson in ‘Charlie Says’.

I’m sure you’re painfully aware that we have four Charles Manson films coming out in a short space of time. There’s Tate, The Haunting of Sharon Tate, and Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, though I’m certain Charlie Says was conceived before all of these. How do you feel about being a part of this cycle? I started writing the movie in 2014 and most of the time movies are made two years later but that’s not how it worked out for various logistical reasons. So on the one hand, I cringe that it’s the 50th anniversary [of Sharon Tate’s murder] and that’s when our movie’s coming out—it feels tacky but it’s definitely not on purpose.

Which seems to be very deliberate on Tarantino’s part… But the way independent films work is that you try and get them made until you get them produced. You don’t have these luxuries of when exactly they’re going to come out. That said, we have landed in a zeitgeist moment which is nice in terms of people paying attention to the movie. I don’t know much about Once Upon a Time in Hollywood but I’m sure Tarantino has a radically different approach from ours.

While they share some similarities, your depiction of Charles Manson doesn’t work in quite the same way as American Psycho’s Patrick Bateman. How did you decide the ways you wanted to humanize Manson? I think the first thing that’s similar between how we portrayed these two characters is that while they’re these powerful frightening people, we’re demystifying them and grounding them in an essential pathetic loserness. Mary and I don’t talk about how we can make another movie that takes down toxic masculinity, that’s just where we end up sometimes.

With American Psycho the stakes of social responsibility were different. We were asking people to put your baggage with the book away, we’re women making this, and we are trying to turn it into something that’s a critique of masculinity in a funny and dark way.

For Charlie Says we’re trying to say: stop thinking about Manson as the embodiment of all evil. We want to stop giving him that power and show that he was a conman who was just a failed musician. If he got a record deal, maybe nobody would have died.

Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in ‘American Psycho’ (2000).

I have to say, American Psycho holds up really well for the Trump era. One could argue that it works better now than when it came out.

How do you respond to the way you’ve already satirized these sociopaths in power and how that affected the increasing appreciation for the film over the years? It’s gratifying, because [American Psycho] was not particularly well loved when it came out. That’s disheartening when you work hard on a project that you think is more worthy. That said, it being more relevant now is terrifying. I watched the movie again recently and there’s a little part of you that cringes when we make Trump jokes because Donald Trump was a different kind of funny at the time.

‘Charlie Says’ is in US cinemas now, and available on VOD and digital from May 17.

#american psycho #charlie says #mary harron #guinevere turner #female filmmakers #female directors #directed by women #letterboxd

[beatriceinmessina]

The Charles Manson Thread of American Horror Story: An Over-Analysis

(SPOILERS for Murder House, Hotel, and Cult)

(TRIGGER WARNING for murder and general awfulness.  This is Charles Manson and AHS villains we’re talking.)

All screenshots are by me, from Netflix.

So, my second-favorite season of American Horror Story is Cult, the seventh season.  And my love of it led me down the road of studying Charles Manson and his Family, since they figure so largely in the story.  In studying it, I remembered the references to Manson in the first and fifth seasons (Murder House and Hotel) so I decided to analyze as it pertains to story and character.  And it’s fun to over-analyze this show.  So here I go:

The “Manson thread” (as I call it) begins in the very first episode, “Pilot”.  In the scene where Violet is ranting to Tate about Leah beating her up and how she wants to get back at her, Tate suggests that she scare Leah so badly so she’ll never bother her again.  Violet asks how she’ll scare her, and then we get this shot:

“Helter skelter” is a phrase meaning madness, and it’s of course an excellent Beatles song (if I do say so myself), but it’s that song that the cult leader Charles Manson heard and misinterpreted as meaning that he and his followers should kill a bunch of white people, make it look like black people did it, and trigger a race war that would end in him and his white followers ruling the black population (since he was a racist asshole, to put it mildly).  He called this forthcoming race war “Helter Skelter.”  So why does Tate say “helter skelter”?

It’s entirely possible he just means the phrase in its original definition, that to scare Leah it has to be insane.  One of my interpretations is that this is meant to seed the school shooting and is something Tate said to himself while high on methamphetamine (if I’m remembering correctly), and therefore doesn’t really mean anything.  (Or he thought the phrase sounded cool.)  My other interpretation is that he might think Manson was onto something and admire him, hence using one of the phrases most associated with him.  I’ve thought about why Tate might admire Manson, and I think it might be the idea of a family that supposedly frees you.  I interpret Tate as being someone who has a very twisted notion of love and what it is, and given his violent impulses, I can see him liking someone who would tell him to go out and slaughter people.  (It should be noted that I loathe this boy, and that he is my least favorite character in the series, and that colors my interpretations.)  And given his neediness and desperation for love (as seen in his relationship with Violet), he’d be prime bait for someone like Manson, who targeted people with low self-esteem and unhappy family relationships.  So this interpretation boils down to Tate as some kind of 1990s-era Manson follower (though I will say it’s heavily compounded by Tate probably knowing about all of his horrible beliefs and as far as I can tell he’s not virulently racist.  But he might be.  The show never gives any indication that he is or isn’t.)

Now onto Hotel.  In the “Devil’s Night” episode, real-life serial killer Richard Ramirez shows up at the Cortez, and on his way to his room, talks with Liz.  They have this exchange:

So we learn that Manson (a fictionalized version of him) was one of James Patrick March’s proteges, and that March likely taught him and/or influenced him.  Or maybe Manson already had his ideas and March simply encouraged him.  Either way, there was some kind of relationship.  I don’t have nearly as much to say on this one.  Only that I wonder how much influence March had over Manson’s philosophies and methods.  But that’s the stuff a fic, not an analysis.  

And finally, Cult.  In the fourth episode, “11/9″, Harrison tells Kai that he admires how optimistic he is, and Kai replies with this:

This is a direct quote from Manson himself.  (My source is this Atlantic article, which also mentions Cult.)  The connection between Kai and Manson is thus seeded (and Ally even calls him a “modern-day Charles Manson” in the sixth episode).  From there we go to the appropriately named tenth episode, “Charles (Manson) in Charge”, which is getting its own paragraph because this is gonna get lengthy.

Kai first bring up Manson when talking to his men and telling them about the murders of Sharon Tate, Abigail Folger, Jay Sebring, Wojchiech Frykowski, and Steven Parent on the night of 08-09 August 1969.  Of this brutal and inhumane crime, he has to this to say, extolling Manson as he does so:

He literally calls Manson “the master”, therefore positioning himself and his men as disciples who believe that what he did was right.  He also says that they must “take a lesson” (and they will, for their “Night of Thousand/Hundred Tates”) from him, implying that they are the successors of the Family.  To further this comparison, when Kai’s story unfolds onscreen, we see that the actors who play Kai’s followers also play Manson’s:

Billy Eichner plays both Harrison Wilton and Manson follower Charles “Tex” Watson.

Sarah Paulson plays both Ally Mayfair-Richards (who only fakes being Kai’s follower, but this is his point-of-view and he doesn’t know it yet) and Manson follower Susan “Sadie Mae Glutz” Atkins.

Leslie Grossman plays both Meadow Wilton and Manson follower Patricia “Katie” Krenwinkel.

Billie Lourd plays both Winter Anderson and Manson follower Linda Kasabian.

Since this is Kai’s retelling, it’s possible that he’s imagining his own followers as Manson’s--therefore placing himself in Manson’s position.  I believe that my interpretation is supported by a later scene in the same episode, where an increasingly paranoid Kai begins to hallucinate, and then this hallucination pops up:

It’s Manson himself, and played by Evan Peters--the same actor who plays Kai.  So Kai might be imagining himself as Manson just as he imagined his followers as Manson’s, and I believe that this was intentional--there’s meant to be a parallel.  Look at the episode title.  It has a double meaning.  Not only is the Manson hallucination “in charge” of Kai (as it tells him what to do), but Kai is positioned as modern-day Manson who is very much in charge.  The Manson hallucination soon has complete control over Kai, and encourages him to acts horrific even for him, asking him this when Kai’s questioning Winter over the matter of the mole:

“What needs to be done” is weeding out the mole, so Kai kills Winter.  He is at once a modern-day Manson and a Manson follower.  And given that he ends up arrested and in prison (and later dead), the connection is complete.  My interpretation?  Kai is a modern-day Manson.  He may be initially presented as an alt-right madman, but at the end of the day he’s Charles Manson (who was also a madman).  The thread thus reaches its completion (unless we get more references in future seasons).

So why this thread of references to Manson throughout the show?  Probably just to make it scarier.  Manson was a disgusting human being and a monster and the characters become a bit more frightening by possibly being associated with him.  But I like to think it’s more something about these men’s characters--their twisted, unhealthy views of love and family, their need to control others around them, their violent and bloodthirsty impulses--that connect them to Manson, and that gives me a small in into their psyches.  After all, why would they admire such an awful person?  Because he had people who listened to him.  He had control.  He mattered to people.  These guys (especially Tate) don’t feel like anyone cares about what they have to say or do. So they make them care like Manson did.  By shocking the world through violence.

(A note: All of these characters are played by Evan Peters.  Probably a coincidence, but hey.  Maybe there’ll be a future season of American Crime Story where he plays Manson properly, and not as a hallucination.  We can hope.)

Thank you for taking the time to read this absolutely unnecessary and probably ridiculous, all-over-the-place analysis.

#american horror story #ahs #ahs murder house #ahs hotel #ahs cult #tate langdon #james patrick march #kai anderson #ahs analysis #screw it i'm proud of this and of myself #thank you for coming to my ted talk #akh.txt

[nordic-breeze]

I was going through my files and I came over this document I sent to my friend @distant-rain pretty much the same day I realized I had fallen in love with Arthur, after weeks of being in denial or shrugging off my daydreaming of this cowboy as nbd or thought experiments and boy was I confused. 

I knew next to nothing about RDR1 when I wrote this December last year and I didn’t know much about RDR2 post chapter 2 either except for Arthur’s fate, which I had just learned of, and oml was I upset and confused. Though also scaringly accurate about certain things.

Now over six months later, I love this cowboy even more. And I kept true to my word. If anyone wanna read the rambings of a fangirl who had just found her new obsession be my guest.

I was blown away by how massive this game is. The level of detail is incredible and I greatly appreciate the effort put into creating this world. Yeah, we’ve all heard about the horse testicles shrinking in cold weather but it’s not like it’s just one bizarre detail being essentially a dick joke in an otherwise average game. No, RDR2 is detailed enough that it actually makes sense to add in peculiarities like that. The amount of wildlife alone, I mean, ever since the PS2 era I’ve been used to seeing animals in games but R* created whole-ass ecosystems in RDR2, several of’em, from snowy mountains to marshlands, with animals that act so much like actual animals. Just listening to the birds singing, it’s like being out in an actual forest!

Characterization is another thing that amazed me, in particular the protagonist. I knew nothing about the first RDR when started playing RDR2, nor did I know anything about RDR in general other than it was western-themed and made by the GTA-guys. I expected somewhat of a similar characterization as GTA where every character is a stereotype or a caricature. I genuinely liked GTAV’s story for what it was and even though every character was more or less an asshole, some of them were also weirdly likeable and even earned my sympathy (and hint of affection) occasionally.

But it never really went deeper than that nor was it particularly long-lasting (still way more than I expected tho). I bonded with one of the characters more than I thought I would but not nearly as much as I would had the characters felt more like actual humans and not like the epitome of stereotypes. But it is what R* wanted and it worked. I expected the RDR2 characters to be the same but to my surprise the characters, especially Arthur, are fleshed out, complex, even relatable (depending on your actions I guess). Unlike GTAV, they act and react like actual human beings. Well, human beings that have lived their entire life (more or less) as outlaws. In a country and time period foreign to me. But still they felt human. Ofc I’ve not gotten to know any of the NPC’s as well as Arthur but from various missions and eavesdropping on their conversation I’ve gotten to know them a bit. Hosea is my favorite. He seems like a good man despite being an outlaw and I love how everyone goes to him for advice and how supportive he is. I also wish more people (esp a certain Dutch man) could listen to him more. I also really like Charles. He definitely got morals and could be a good influence on Arthur and the others. I haven’t seen much of Sadie yet, but think I’ll like her too. Lenny seems nice. That one scene when he and Arthur went out drinking together was absolutely brilliant! And lil Jack’s adorable ofc. Only one I don’t like is Micha or Miach or whathisname. I know no one in the van der Linde gang are saints but that guy is a total psychopath. I kinda wish Arthur had gotten his way there when he said they should just leave him in jail as he was nothing but trouble and it annoys me how Dutch is sticking up for him. Yeah, speaking of, not too fond of Dutch or that German guy either atm.

But all in all very impressed by the large open world, the level of details to well, everything and the characterization. Soundtrack is great, graphics are stunning, animations smooth, the horse-riding simulation is just extraordinary and you never know what’s gonna happen as you ride through the map. The amount and variety of random events and encounters are truly impressive. Often comical, like that wildlife photographer who keeps getting almost eaten up by the wildlife he’s trying to document, sometimes eerie like the serial killer side story, or sad like when Arthur met with his former love. Or a combination of said elements like the pig farmers I ran into. With no pigs. But were still veeery well fed. You know, when people are just a liiitle bit too friendly? That eerie feeling you get when you just know something’s wrong but you can’t quite put your finger on it. Until you can. I thought they were husband and wife I really did. You shoulda seen my face when I realized they were in fact brother and sister. Me and Arthur had the exact same face. They were living as husband and wife tho. Well, up until I killed them.

I also love the contrast between the more ‘modern’ world and the simpler life. I could go into town, buy food at the saloon and rent a room or take a bath at the hotel. Or I could ride a few mins out into the wilderness, hunt and gather my own food, cook it over a bonfire and sleep under the stars. Electricity exists, but people are still completely dependent on oil lamps and open flame. Trains and trams exist, cars have been invented, but people still mainly travel on horseback. This contrast between old and new as an era is ending and the modern era is about to begin has been an amazing experience considering the level of detail the game has. The colonization of the new land, which has been largely unknown to me, the contrast between this and modern-day America we see on TV. So many people did not even speak English, I often find abandoned buildings, or burnt-down buildings, some with bodies inside, leaving me wondering what happened to them, I found a ghost town whose inhabitants had been wiped out by a plague. It was tough for many I reckon.

In fact, I find the exploration of this foreign but also somewhat familiar, beautiful but harsh world and its many random events and encounters waaay more interesting than the actual main story itself, which is why it took me forever to reach chapter 3. In fact, the story is probably my least favorite part about RDR2, as backwards as it may sound. I’ve never been into western stories or aesthetics, and I’m certainly NOT into the whole ‘outlaws till the end’ stuff ugh. I fail to sympathize with the whole ‘boo-hoo the world no want outlaws like us no more it’s unfair’. Ugh, go cry me a fucking river. And then go get a job. A real job. Yeah, I get it that adapting to society is tough, life’s tough deal with it and stop preying on others. Wow, robbing two trains in short time and staying in the same fucking area actually has consequences, I’m so shook!

So yeah, story-wise I don’t quite ‘get it’ and Dutch is really starting to get on my nerves, which is probably why I prefer to just ride off alone and experience the world. I guess RDR2 story will rely heavily on being torn between gang loyalty and your own morality and principles but since I have virtually no concept of group loyalty that is all lost on me. My own morals and principles all the way. I’m like, ‘these people suck, take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly (maybe John Marston and his family) and leave these bitches behind’.

At the beginning, I did kinda liked Dutch. He seemed genuinely sorry for Sadie, took her in and saved her life, even if it meant another mouth to feed in dire times. And he showed Kiran mercy despite hating the O’Driscol’s. But as I’ve progressed thought the game, his grand speeches about sticking together, sticking with him, slowly but surely has turned from pep-talk to keep people’s spirit up to sounding like a cult leader desperate to keep his following no matter the cost. Yesterday when I was playing, I overheard him quote some quasi-philosophy book to Lenny and used the words to twist them into his own convictions to support his decisions. And when Lenny objected, Dutch literally said ‘you’re breaking my heart, kid’. Wow Dutch, talk about manipulating your protégé.

It was the mission when those lawmen approached Arthur as he was fishing with Jack that really made me consciously see Dutch in a new light. Up until then, RDR2 had mostly been fun and games but that conversation left me feeling a bit uneasy. But I just figured it was the main story finally picking up pace and also, I figured I was near the end of the chapter. I carried on, suddenly eager to see what would happen and was thoroughly surprised by how the chapter ended. In a bad way.

While both chapter 2 and chapter 3 begins with a ‘new start’ vibe, chapter 3 felt very different from chapter 2. Mostly it was that feeling that Dutch’s obsession with ‘sticking to this life’ is going to get people killed. Idk, it’s this eerie feeling something’s wrong but can’t quite put my finger on it-feel again. But thanks to internet being internet I already knew some spoilers so I couldn’t help but to look up something and… well, let me put it this way. I’m never going to finish this game. Ever. It breaks my heart because in so many ways it’s truly an amazing game and a fantastic experience. But I’m just not that into the story, I don’t like where it’s heading and I don’t want to see what’s coming to character(s) I’ve come to care deeply about.

I still want to explore the world more, see what unfolds, do more challenges, add stuff to my compendium, maybe get some trophies… but I doubt I’ll ever progress much story-wise. Quite the contrary, I might reload an earlier save and just stay in chapter 2 forever.

(wrtten a couple of days later)

Seems my instincts was right on the money, esp concerning Dutch. Sad thing, I do believe he is sincere. In the first few chapters at least. He is manipulative but I also believe he’s convinced himself that he’s doing the right thing. And then his obsession will eventually get the better of him and when people and the lifestyle is slipping away from him, he doesn’t handle it well at all. Ugh, it’s so frustrating, I just wanna gather all my favs and yell: “leave nooow, before it’s too late!

It’s not for the sake of spacing it out or making it last. I just don’t want to progress in the story at all. I hated losing Horseshoe Overlook. HATED IT HATED IT HATED IT!!!! Yes the new place is beautiful, yes I know it’s the life of the outlaws and RDR2 does show that life for better and for worse whereas most stories tend to romanticize the whole thing, yes as outlaws they can’t stay for too long in one place. But as mentioned I have a hard time sympathize with and immerse myself into that lifestyle. Yes, I got all my upgrades and a whole new area to explore, a bigger nearby town, and closer to that big city. Still hated it. Horseshoe Overlook was my place. The Heartlands was home. And the view was stunning! And I liked Valentine. It was small and dirty but I had good memories from there. Until I had to shoot up half the town. My motivation for continuing the main story is at absolute zero.

It was more what the transition represented, I guess. You never know what will happen in RDR2. And it’s true, for random encounters, and many of the individual missions. But when it comes to the story as a whole, I feel like I already now can predict how it’ll play out. Every chapter begins with the gang on the move, finding a place to settle down and have a fresh start, even chapter 1 (as they were on the run bc a heist gone wrong or something). Then they settle down, go into town to get to know the area and establish connections and looking for easy money, often at the expenses of others. X random events later, they get too overconfident or careless, screws up or get hunted down, it ends with a shootout, then they are on the run again, finds a new place to settle down where Dutch promises that THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT until they’re wanted on the entire map and can’t go anywhere cos the wild west is ending. I really liked it at Horseshoe Overlook and whenever Im in that area again I’ll just get sad.

I had no idea I’d gotten so emotionally invested so I was really surprised at how much I disliked moving camps and all. I’ve also gotten so fond of Arthur. I was so busy with exploring, doing challenges, learning to hunt etc I didn’t even realize it happening. Until one scene had me almost tearing up! I think because, we as the player really have to look out for him. Even though I make sure that he eats regularly, he’s still underweight. When out riding I usually set up camp when night falls so that Arthur can get some rest. Something I’d never think about in any other game. And I always give him coffee in the morning. Then it’s his journal that gives such valuable insight into who he truly is as a person. There’s no doubt he’s so much more than just a mere outlaw. He writes surprisingly well and is open and is surprisingly honest about his thoughts and feelings. How torn he is between the life of an outlaw and wanting to be a better man, a better person. How he admired Charles because, for him it was ‘so easy to just be good’ whereas he himself always feel torn between good and evil. And his journal entries when he meets his long-lost love Mary and saves her brother from the cultists. The expression on his face as he said goodbye to her on the train station… how utterly heartbroken he was… how she still loved him too… man, that one tore at my heart. Still does when thinking about it.

I wish I could take Hosea, Charles, Sadie, Tilly, John’s family and maybe Lenny too with me, run off and start anew. Charles would have good influence on Arthur and encourage him to turn his life around and find his place in society and encourage John to be a better father and role model for Jack and they could all learn how to live as free men and women without robbing or hurting anyone (unless they deserve it). Like, Charles is an excellent hunter and tracker. He’d totally get enough food for the gang and maybe even enough to sell. He could train Jack too. Hosea was always more of a conman/grifter than a brute/robber. He could con bad guys or rich assholes Robin Hood style. If anyone gave him grief, John and Arthur would settle the score. Arthur could sell animal pelts and John could take up carpeting. They’d be such a happy lil family. But, RDR1 is yet to happen so it’s all just wishful thinking *sigh*

#red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #the ramblings of a fangirl #about me

[grayisholi]

@ the DND ask game: ALL OF THOSE QUESTIONS, I CAN'T CHOOSE!! XD (or if not that, the ones you rlly wanna do!!

BOY OH BOY OH BOYIve been answering these throughout the day and I’m too lazy to reread the full document so sorry if I’ve left gaps or whatever but here it is! All 35 questions about dnd! Matt you unstoppable Madman.

1. A favorite character you have played.

You can’t just make me pick between my children!!! I think I might have to say Atticus Sallow, my faeborn bloodhunter, partially because he’s like 100% homebrew content which I LIVE for, but also because he’s probably the most kinda self-insert character I’ve ever played? Almost became the kinda angsty, brooding asshole character before he was like “get your shit together” and learned that loving people isn’t so bad.

2. Your favorite character that someone else has played.

I almost, ALMOST had the pleasure of DMing for @no-more-good-omens and their character was gonna be SO RAD and I’m a little heartbroken he never came to be. A half-drow paladin of Vecna, pretending to be your typical good and wholesome paladin? Dude, I love that kinda two faced backstabbing in a player. It’s such a shame it never came to anything (although if yall still wanna play hmu ;))

3. Your favorite side quest.

Ooh, there’s been so many good ones. Probably when i was playing as Adrian Smirks and went off on a tangent to rescue his brother ? That was the first time I ever got to see Adrian’s more raw and emotional side beneath the suave mask he wears and it was fun to explore his character in that way ^.^

4. Your current campaign.

That I’m DMing? It started inspired by Guy Fawkes and was gonna be “your party blows up parliament” but I got bored of following historical accuracy so it ended up being “blow up the palace in a magical city that just happens to be called London”. I accidentally wrote myself into a hole with this campaign tho, so once they’ve finished this arc I’m handing over the DM hat to my sister @philosophical-wanton because she seems to love it and I kinda miss being a player lmao. I can’t wait for it.

5. Favorite NPC.That I’ve written? Probably Hai Shen, the youngest son of a group of circus performers who were killed and the party got blamed for their murder. He had such a great attitude and his dynamics with the party kicked ass. And the twist that he was actually dead the whole time and it was his soul that had stayed behind to help solve his family’s murder? ICONIC.

6. Favorite death (monster, player character, NPC, etc).

NPC death would probably be Hai Shen, actually. After the party had brought the real killers (A cult to the demon Prince Orcus) to justice, Hai’s time on earth had come to an end. He had really beautiful moment with the party before being reunited with his family. Alternatively, the time I broke my entire party’s hearts? “Artagan’s staff comes cracking into Ellios’ chest, forcing him onto the ground. Artagan raises his sceptre in hand, pointing it menacingly at the young prince. And for the first time, you see him. Like, REALLY see him. He’s not the strong and powerful leader you’ve all come to know him as, he’s not Prince Ellios of the Four Realms. He’s just a boy. A boy who is much too young to be involved in such a grand scheme. And the fear in his eyes. You see the fear he’s managed to keep buried for so long, finally coming to the surface. And then? You don’t see anything, aside from his cold body hitting the ground.” I got punched three times for that moment, but GOD was it worth it.

7. Your favorite downtime activity.

Like in game? A healthy lil bit of vandalising the local law enforcement buildings is always a good time.

8. Your favorite fight/encounter.

Aw man, how can I pick ? I gotta say, that one time we, a level 6 party, managed to take down two earth elementals was pretty rad. The DM kind of expected it to be one of those encounters that we saw and immediately tried to run from, but what she didn’t take into account was that ALL of us had chaotic alignments so we just went crazy. The DM was rolling really badly (thank God) and we were getting really creative (“I use the produce flame centripetal to light my bottle of ale on fire and create a molotov cocktail” “you do WHAT”) and after like an HOUR we won and it was amazing. The rush I got from that victory was better than any drug my dood.

9. Your favorite thing about D&D.

I know I say it a lot, but I legit can’t choose. There’s so many great things about ttrpgs that a lot of people don’t really think of. The creative fulfilment I get from a session is incomparable, the friendships you can build that you couldn’t form in any other way. And like, not to get too real for a sec here, but I grew up with undiagnosed autism and didn’t understand how a lot of social situations worked, and DnD was such a good mechanic for me to try communicating with people without many real world consequences, and I appreciate that experience so much. It’s just such a great thing my dood.

10. Your favorite enemy and the enemy you hate the most.

Can they be the same thing lmao? I mean, I’m obviously partial to Count Cassius, the vampire lord that Adrian slept with lmao. I also always appreciate a good beholder, until I get hit with three disintegration rays IN A ROW.

11. How often do you play and how often would you ideally like to play?

We’ve got kind of a monthly schedule with my main campaign, and I manage to get a couple online games in-between them, but honestly I’d kill to be the kind of group that got together every weekend.

12. Your in game inside jokes/memes/catchphrases and where they came from.

Oh MAN. “I say we do this.” “Yeah, but that’s coming from the guy who decided to tie 3 50ft ropes together to escape the palace.” “iT wOrKeD dIdN’t iT ???” i.e that time I forgot I gave the gnome rogue flying boots so when I planned for them to get arrested at the palace, they managed to escape by tying their ropes together, sending the gnome with it to the top and climbing the wall. I had to improvise the rest of the session. Also “FLINTON BELINDA SKINTON” bc as a role-play exercise I got my party to come up with rumours about their characters and the gnome rogue called Flint AKA Flinton B Skinton decided that one of their rumours was that the B stood for Belinda, and it was GLORIOUS.

13. Introduce your current party.

My current group consists of Flinton B Skinton, gnome rogue. He’s a quick-fingered, silver-tongued gay disaster who can sell anything to anyone. He’s a charming flirt, and a veritable genius in his own right. Kava Daardendrian, dragonborn ranger who loves nothing in life more than her animal companion - her pig Snortin Norton. She’s fun and sassy and shameless, she’s great. There’s Sparks, the fire Genasi Monk, and full embodiment of a disaster lesbian. She drinks, fights, and gets laid, and doesn’t deal with her problems in healthy ways. An icon. And finally Milo, the halfling Bard who falls in love at the drop of a hat and just wants everyone to get along. I call them “The Shenanigang” and I love them.

14. Introduce any other parties you have played in or DM-ed.

A party I joined late? We had Sylvia Moondrop, the half elf sorcerer who was just trying to get along with everyone despite what the world seemed to want. Orland the half orc bard who was just trying to shake off the Barbarian stereotype his family left him with. Rose Morleen, air Genasi fighter who was literally born to kick ass and take names. I joined as Mason Terrai, the Earth Genasi Alchemist with a perchance for explosives. The very definition of chaotic neutral.

15. Do you have snacks during game times?

Of COURSE. What manic wouldn’t ?

16. Do you play online or in person? Which do you prefer?

I used to play online a LOT back before I had friends who were into dnd, but I VASTLY prefer playing in person. The chemistry that’s built not only amongst the players, but also the actual characters themselves is unparalleled. It’s just such a great experience.

17. What are some house rules that your group has?

Anyone can attempt anything, the only restriction is the dice. Don’t question the DM unless it’s out of session, then bully the dm on the groupchat until he’s so pissed off he gives you inspiration just to get you to shut up. And also canon lore and canon rules are bullshit when it’s convenient. That’s about it

18. Does your party keep any pets?

Our ranger, God bless her, has her pack pig Snortin Norton, sold to her by one Flinton B Skinton. And Flint really wants a monkey, he’s been trying to find one for ages.

19. Do you or your party have any dice superstitions?

Not really ? I’m the kind guy that if my dice rolls a 1 I will bench it for a bit, but tbh all my dice are cursed af and I’ve kinda just learned to roll with it by making my characters canonically terrible at everything lmao.

20. How did you get into D&D? How long have you been playing?

Aw man I can’t remember when or how, it’s been so long. I had a couple friends who were kinda into it, but all the games they tried to run were complete disasters. I only really started playing I’m the past year or so? Maybe a little more ? Adrian was my first character, and he was a very RP heavy character in a party of tanks and they all hated him but MAN was it fun.

21. Have you ever regretted something your character has done?

Oh all the time. One time my character was careless and didn’t check for traps on a legendary artefact and it lead to the death of a party member. One time my character got angry at his party and walked out. My characters don’t make good decisions, but that’s part of the fun.

22. What color was your first dragon?

White! I thought it was silver at first and went to go say hi, and it clawed me within half my HP straight away lmao.

23. Do you use premade modules or original campaigns?

Oh dude, original all the way. I live for that shit.

24. How much planning/preparation do you do for a game?

Depends on the session, but usually a good few hours, couple of days if I’m DMing.

25. What have your players done that you never could have planned for?

“You wake up in a mysterious forest. The strained autumn sun shines through the trees. The only thing you can see it each other, the trees, and an old sign post leading to a path that says "Myrrill” on it. What do you do?“ "We walk in the opposite direction of the sign deeper into the forest.” “…of course you do.”

26. What was your favorite scene to write and show your characters.

I wrote a full carnival show one time for them to watch, and then it got derailed when a horrific monster attacked. But writing all the characters and their acts, and watching my players get entranced as I described it ? Magical, my dood.

27. Do you allow homebrew content?

I live and breathe homebrew content. I don’t know what my games would be without it. I LOVE homebrew.

28. How often do you use NPCs in a party?

I make some pretty sick characters if I do say so myself, so I throw them in a LOT.

29. Do you prefer RP heavy sessions or combat sessions?

Oh dude, role play all the way. Fighting and killing stuff is great, but role-play is just so good. We can go from laughing with a bartender to crying over a backstory reveal and it’s just beautiful.

30. Are your players diplomatic or murder hobos?

Depends on the party, but i find the best players are a little bit of both XD

31. What is your favorite class? Favorite race?

Official ? I’m a fan of the hexblade warlock? Bards are always a good call, and to be real playing monks make me feel like an absolute badass. Race wise, there are just so many. If we’re only talking players handbook stuff, half elf is always rad. Outside of that? I’ve been researching the Shadar-Kai lately and I’m LIVING. They’re so rad.

32. What role do you like to play the most? (Tank/healer/etc?)

What would you call the disaster gay? I don’t really gear my characters towards usefulness in combat, so it’s just whatever the class happens to lend itself to.

33. How do you write your backstory, or do you even write a backstory?

I usually write my character, personality, backstory, alignment etc, before I even pick a class or even a race. I basically just make OCs and apply them to dnd rules, and it’s SO much fun. 10/10, would recommend.34. Do you tend pick weapons/spells for being useful or for flavor?

FLAVOUR. My party usually hates me, but what I lack in combat utility I more than make up for in creative out of combat skill checks XD.

35. How much roleplay do you like to do?

Boi, I even RP my combat, and the great thing is it rubs off on my party too. I’ll have a really low initiative and everyone else will be like “I attack and do 10 points of damage” but then on my round I’m like “I use my staff to leap across the battlefield towards the opponent and launch out with a spinning kick to their jaw” and everyone else is like “oh, okay, that’s what we’re doing.” and the battle becomes so much more dynamic and cinematic, it’s amazing !

[commodorecliche]

Gimme all the book recs Please :D

yaaaaaaaaaaaas okay great. i love sharing books i love.  

1. The Thief of Always - Clive BarkerGenre: Dark FantasyBig personal favorite of mine. My father read this to me when I was a kid, and it literally has stuck with me since then. Every now and then I go back and reread it just for fun. It’s a wonderfully spooky little story, accompanied by some really lovely and somewhat off-kilter illustrations. Much like Coraline, it’s a novel that is a fable for children, and a tale of terror for adults.

After a mysterious stranger promises to end his boredom with a trip to the magical Holiday House, ten-year-old Harvey learns that his fun has a high price.

2. House of Leaves - Mark Z. DanielewskiGenre: Postmodernism, horrorHands down an absolute favorite. This is a book I literally recommend to everyone. This is a book that made me viscerally uncomfortable, at times I didn’t even sleep in the same room as it. I made it sleep in the living room. There is nothing overtly terrifying about the book, but its format and its unsettlingly immersive nature will lead you down a road unlike any other. 

In 1997, Johnny Truant has stumbled upon a chest full of scrap papers that had once belonged to a man named Zampono. The papers aren’t just scraps though, they’re a chaotic but detailed transcription of a series called the Navidson Record. The Navidson Record is a series of videos made by a family who has discovered that their new house appears to change dimensions almost daily, it has hallways that shouldn’t exist, doors that should lead outside but instead lead into nothingness. Johnny attempts to re-order and reconstruct Zampono’s papers, and along the way begins to lose himself as well. 

3. The Postmortal - Drew MagaryGenre: Science Fiction, Postmodern DystopiaReally funny, really dark, and full of a surprising amount of morality and humanity in a pre-apocalyptic world. 

Imagine a near future where a cure for aging is discovered and-after much political and moral debate-made available to people worldwide. Immortality, however, comes with its own unique problems-including evil green people, government euthanasia programs, a disturbing new religious cult, and other horrors.    

4. Horrorstor - Grady HendrixGenre: Comedy, HorrorHonestly this book is just balls to the wall fun. It’s a horror novel that’s laid out like the world’s most messed up IKEA catalog. Spooky at times, ridiculous and funny, at times moving, while also offering great social commentary on consumerism and the the current status of retail workers. 

Something strange is happening at the Orsk furniture superstore in Cleveland, Ohio. Every morning, employees arrive to find broken Kjerring bookshelves, shattered Glans water goblets, and smashed Liripip wardrobes. Sales are down, security cameras reveal nothing, and store managers are panicking. To unravel the mystery, three employees volunteer to work a nine-hour dusk-till-dawn shift. In the dead of the night, they’ll patrol the empty showroom floor, investigate strange sights and sounds, and encounter horrors that defy the imagination. 

5. Rant - Chuck PalahniukGenre: Science Fiction, Horror, SatireThis is a book I read several years ago and that I still think about from time to time. I haven’t had time to sit down and reread it, but parts of it still resonate with me today. This is a very peculiar story and it is told in a rather peculiar fashion (it is an oral history, and as such is told in a very conversational way by a number of different characters with a wide variety of thoughts and opinions on the titular Rant. It’s hard to properly describe this book, but let’s just say it’s been in my reread list for a while now. 

Buster “Rant” Casey just may be the most efficient serial killer of our time. A high school rebel, Rant Casey escapes from his small town home for the big city where he becomes the leader of an urban demolition derby called Party Crashing. Rant Casey will die a spectacular highway death, after which his friends gather the testimony needed to build an oral history of his short, violent life. 

6. John Dies at the End - David WongGenre: Comedy, Horror, Dark FantasyHoly god what do I even say about this book? It is just hilariously and marvelously insane. A perfect mix of cosmic fantasy, horror, comedy, and lunacy, and I loved every minute of reading it. I still have the rest of the series lined up to read, too!

The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault. 

7. Sphere - Michael CrichtonGenre: Science Fiction, Deep Sea HorrorThis is one I actually JUST finished, and I absolutely adored it. I had a couple small complaints about it, but overall, it was a wonderful read and very engrossing. Plus, I’m always a sucker for deep sea horror. 

A group of American scientists are rushed to a huge vessel that has been discovered resting on the ocean floor in the middle of the South Pacific. What they find defies their imaginations and mocks their attempts at logical explanation. It is a spaceship of phenomenal dimensions, apparently, undamaged by its fall from the sky. And, most startling, it appears to be at least three hundred years old…. 

8. I, Lucifer - Glen DuncanGenre: Religious Fantasy, Occult FictionThis book is incredibly well researched, thought out, and characterized, as well as funny and extremely thought-provoking. I’d never expected to see a story that would give me a realistic and modern look into the Devil’s side of the story. I especially never expected to see a story that would make the Devil learn what it is to be human, either. All in all just an A+, fantastical read. 

The Prince of Darkness has been given one last shot at redemption, provided he can live out a reasonably blameless life on earth. Highly sceptical, naturally, the Old Dealmaker negotiates a trial period - a summer holiday in a human body, with all the delights of the flesh. The body, however, turns out to be that of Declan Gunn, a depressed writer living in Clerkenwell, interrupted in his bath mid-suicide. Ever the opportunist, and with his main scheme bubbling in the background, Luce takes the chance to tap out a few thoughts - to straighten the biblical record, to celebrate his favourite achievements, to let us know just what it’s like being him. Neither living nor explaining turns out to be as easy as it looks. Beset by distractions, miscalculations and all the natural shocks that flesh is heir to, the Father of Lies slowly begins to learn what it’s like being us. 

9. The Wasp Factory - Iain BanksGenre: Psychological HorrorLook, I want to say this right off the bat. This book is… not for everyone. Trust me when I say this is an extremely dark book with a lot of dark content. I would say that if you have any potential triggers, you may want to message me first and I will give you a better rundown of what all this book entails. This is a true piece of horror fiction. But it’s also incredible. I ate this book up in about two days and it is one of my favorite pieces of dark fiction to date. So yeah, chat with me if you have any concerns, but if you enjoy truly dark fiction, then this is up your alley. 

Two years after I killed Blyth I murdered my young brother Paul, for quite different and more fundamental reasons than I’d disposed of Blyth, and then a year after that I did for my young cousin Esmerelda, more or less on a whim. That’s my score to date. Three. I haven’t killed anybody for years, and don’t intend to ever again. It was just a stage I was going through. 

10. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams (the whole series, trust me)Genre: Comedy, Science Fiction, Cosmic FantasyJust trust me when I say this is a series that literally everyone should read at least once in their life. They are unflabbably hilarious in a way that only Douglas Adams could be, and they are just truly unique. This series is (rightfully) a classic and shouldn’t be missed. 

Seconds before the Earth is demolished to make way for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is plucked off the planet by his friend Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised edition of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy who, for the last fifteen years, has been posing as an out-of-work actor. Together this dynamic pair begin a journey through space aided by quotes from The Hitchhiker’s Guide (“A towel is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have”).

11. World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War - Max Brooks Genre: Zombie horror, Faux HistoryI beg you - do not judge this book by the very terrible movie that was made about it. It is an entirely different animal than that mess of a movie, I promise. World War Z is a masterfully crafted book that details the zombie apocalypse in ways never before done in fiction. The Battle of Yonkers scenes and the testimony of Tomonaga Ijiro still stick in my head to this day. This book is a triumph of horror, ‘history’, and humanity, all balled into a distinctly unique experience. 

The Zombie War came unthinkably close to eradicating humanity. Max Brooks, driven by the urgency of preserving the acid-etched first-hand experiences of the survivors from those apocalyptic years, traveled across the United States of America and throughout the world, from decimated cities that once teemed with upwards of thirty million souls to the most remote and inhospitable areas of the planet. He recorded the testimony of men, women, and sometimes children who came face-to-face with the living, or at least the undead, hell of that dreadful time. World War Z is the result. Never before have we had access to a document that so powerfully conveys the depth of fear and horror, and also the ineradicable spirit of resistance, that gripped human society through the plague years. 

12. The Raw Shark Texts - Steven HallGenre: Fantasy/Realism, Meta-fiction, MysteryThis is a tough one to put into words. I read this many years ago, and I remember it more as a series of emotional experiences rather than just as a singular plot. Which I think really speaks to its character as a book. This is a book that deals with dissociation, memory loss, our sense of self, how easily we can lose that sense, and our struggle to hold onto or to rediscover the world we know and the people we believe ourselves to be. This book is just… an experience, much like House of Leaves. It’s immersive, and at times quite unsettling. 

Eric Sanderson wakes up in a house he doesn’t recognize, unable to remember anything of his life. All he has left are his diary entries recalling Clio, a perfect love who died under mysterious circumstances, and a house that may contain the secrets to Eric’s prior life. But there may be more to this story, or it may be a different story altogether. With the help of allies found on the fringes of society, Eric embarks on an edge-of-your-seat journey to uncover the truth about himself and to escape the predatory forces that threaten to consume him. 

I think 12 should be good for now! I certainly have more though, if you want them!! 

Bonus, Currently Reading: The Library at Mount Char - Scott HawkinsGenre: Contemporary Fantasy, Horror, Dark FantasyI don’t have a whole lot to say about this yet since I’m not very far into it, but so far it’s been extremely intriguing, and Hawkins’ writing is truly beautiful. 

A missing God. A library with the secrets to the universe. A woman too busy to notice her heart slipping away. Carolyn’s not so different from the other people around her. She likes guacamole and cigarettes and steak. She knows how to use a phone. Clothes are a bit tricky, but everyone says nice things about her outfit with the Christmas sweater over the gold bicycle shorts. After all, she was a normal American herself once. That was a long time ago, of course. Before her parents died. Before she and the others were taken in by the man they called Father. 

Bonus 2, Up Next to Read: Dark Matter: A Ghost Story - Michelle PaverGenre: Horror

January 1937. Clouds of war are gathering over a fogbound London. Twenty-eight year old Jack is poor, lonely, and desperate to change his life, so when he’s offered the chance to join an Arctic expedition, he jumps at it. Spirits are high as the ship leaves Norway: five men and eight huskies, crossing the Barents Sea by the light of the midnight sun. At last they reach the remote, uninhabited bay where they will camp for the next year, Gruhuken, but the Arctic summer is brief. As night returns to claim the land, Jack feels a creeping unease. One by one, his companions are forced to leave. He faces a stark choice: stay or go. Soon he will see the last of the sun, as the polar night engulfs the camp in months of darkness. Soon he will reach the point of no return–when the sea will freeze, making escape impossible. Gruhuken is not uninhabited. Jack is not alone. Something walks there in the dark… 

(also if any of y’all have read these, i’d love to hear YOUR thoughts on them too)

#books #book recs #science fiction #horror #book recommendations #long post #dogwithblogs

[heartofsnark]

Get To Know The Writer

I was tagged by the lovely @lin-ful, just so you know. You’re another writer who I follow on my personal account and who’s work I’ve loved since before I started writing for the kbtbb fandom. 

1. It’s the end of the world (?). You don’t feel fine. You need to burn books to stay warm. Which book off of your shelf burns first?

Bye-bye textbooks. I actually don’t have a lot of narrative books on my shelves. While I was an avid reader, I was also a poor kid, now I’m a poor adult who acts like a kid; character development! So, the public library was a good friend. I really love my for fun books I do own, so textbooks go first. 

2. If your writing could convey a message that you think desperately needs to be heard, what would be it?

Uh, I think the biggest thing I think I can effectively communicate that those in the fanfic writing community could use is that, this is suppose to be fun. I know for me personally; it can feel really easy to get caught up in writing what pleases others, trying to meet perceived expectations, trying to force yourself to be productive, or whatever. Validation and praise is incredible, one compliment can make your entire day,  but if you lose sight of what makes writing fun for you, is it really worth it in the end? So, write what you want and don’t get to caught up in what gets the most notes. If there’s passion behind what you’re doing, you’ll find the people who appreciate it.

3. Has an OC ever said something that surprised you? 

Yeah, as strange as that is to say since it is an original character and I control them. I am a bit of a write by the seat of your pants kind of person, my plots has changed literally paragraphs into the work. So, sometimes I’m caught off guard by the things I write.

4. Do you collect things writing or reading related? Something that supplements your ~process~? 

I am an office/school supply hoarder. I love writing on paper, before I move things to my computer. I have way too many pens, notebooks, sticky notes, binders; literally the second I get my refund money for college, I am go to the office supply sections. I even have one of those little desk organizers and it’s overflowed. I also have a cat shaped sticky note holder.

5. A celebrity author you admire loves one of your books and their praise will appear in the next edition. Now they’ve written a new book, but… it wasn’t your cup of tea. Their publisher wants a blurb about it. Do you tell the truth, or manufacture polite praise? 

I’m not about to rain on anyone’s parade. Like, have you seen my writing? Who the hell am I to shit on anyone else’s work. I also prefer honesty. If it was like 0/10, I could not find a single positive, I would just tell them I couldn’t write the blurb, get someone else. Otherwise, I would just find the positives. Even if the plot isn’t my particular jam; are the characters good, is the dialogue good, does it flow well, etc.

6. BOOM, MAGIC! You are sucked into one of your worlds. The only way to break the spell is to convince at least three OCs that you are their creator and the creator of their world. How would you try to do it?

Who says, I want to break the spell? Ever thought about that? Uh, but legit, it depends on which oc/mc. I’m gonna break the prompt a bit and have 3 MC’s/OC’s from 3 different worlds. Because they’re my favorites.

Regan, my Supernatural OC, would be the easiest to convince hands down. Just by virtue of her being from the Supernatural universe. I would tell her and she’d just be like, “Yeah, fucking probably.” Nothing surprises her at this point. There is literally a plot like this with Chuck in SPN. She’d just throw her hands up in the air and say fuck it.

Haejin, my Mystic Messenger MC, would tell me she believes me even though she wouldn’t; just to get rid of me. I would have to legit, recount her entire backstory to her, then she would just be too freaked out. Like, depending on at what point in her story she’d be at, she’s like asking Jumin for bodyguards. My OC would put a restraining order out against me, if needed. 

Tsuneko, my Kissed by The Baddest Bidder MC, would not be having any of it. She’d just be like; “I don’t have the time or energy for this; did the bidders put you up for this? I’m gonna kill them.” She’d be over it and if I kept bugging her; she’d probably threaten me or call security. I’d probably end up having to convince the bidders to convince her; I’d go for Baba, because the rest of them would be mean.

7. You’re stuck having one of your original villains over for dinner. How does it go?

I don’t think I have a lot of original villains, I tend to use the villains of whatever world I’m writing for. There was Camael, an angel villain within my  not written Supernatural  fic world, which angels don’t eat. So, I doubt she’d come over for dinner.

If it’s okay for me use canon villains. I apparently have a thing for blonde cult leaders. 

Rika is a horrific human being; but she’s a pretty lady, have you seen her bad end in V’s route? Dear god, she flusters me. I could listen to her ramble about paradise, I’ll tune her out and look at her pretty face. Then ask Jumin to send his police forces/security out to arrest her. Never tell V and Yoosung, how much I was attracted to their abusive ex and cousin. I have a fear kink, so villains get to me, I don’t think I would act on it in the reality, but it’s a temptation.

Within KBTBB, Mamoru would hate me forever, but, Aida isn’t a bad looking man. Obviously, he’s a bad man, but he’s easy on the eyes. Again, listen to crazy cult ramblings, make fear kink related goo goo eyes. Then call Mamoru to come get him, before I make a terrible decision. I don’t know why this became me thirsting over cult leaders, but here we are.

8. Has writing benefited you in any way?

Definitely, writing has benefited me. I’ve met people through it, I’ve gained confidence through people’s positivity, I’ve gotten to vent and express some of my issues. I think literally any writer will tell you writing benefits them, otherwise they wouldn’t be a writer.

9. You discover that whatever you write about comes to pass/becomes reality. After securing your own comfort, what do you write?

All financial problems for me and my family are solved, first thing. Not necessarily rich, but enough to always be secure and enjoy life. Second, I become thinner and prettier, cause while it shouldn’t be confidence, is often tied to physical appearance and mine is awful. Third, I  instantly have my masters degree in social work, I have a job I am happy and secure in that still gives me enough time to write and enjoy my hobbies. Last, all of my biases come into existence and I get to be at the center of the best poly-amorous relationship in the history of the universe.

10. Chosen pen name? 

My blog username….? I don’t really call myself anything special. I’ve said what my actual name is on here, I think you guys know my name. Do you all know my name? It’s on my about page, but that can’t be trusted, cause hellsite. I don’t really care that much about what you all call me. You can call me by my first name (It’s Mariah), you can call me by some variation of my username/url, call me fuckface for all I care; what do you want to call me? Go for it, unless it’s something really fucked up and troubling, I doubt I’ll care. I like to think that despite my borderline crippling anxiety disorder, I’m a pretty chill person.

Tagging: Whoever wants to do it? Like, if you haven’t done it yet and want to, go for it.

#get to know the writer #not writing #is it okay to tag the fandoms? #kbtbb #mysme #spn #If not let me know and I'll take them off

[atypicality]

Edye, Kira, Clovette, Vix, and Rufion

Edye

Full Name: okay so none of my OCs have last names,, embarrassing i know. he’s named after a neopet as that’s how i formed his character (this is progressively getting more embarrassing). his name is pronounced “eddie,” and an interesting fact about his name is that the part “dye” (pronounced “die”) is a nickname for dionysus, a god that has definitely influenced his character.

Gender and Sexuality: male, he’s bisexual

Pronouns: he/him

Ethnicity/Species: he’s latino and he’s human(??)

Birthplace and Birthdate: i literally have no idea (i feel like i should look into astrology and choose his birthday according to his personality…he’s probably a leo or a gemini and he was clearly born somewhere in latin america. i was thinking ecuador but i’m biased bc i lived there lmao),, he’s 22 though

Guilty Pleasures: reality t.v. and romcoms

Phobias: (i’m not putting the names of each phobia bc no one knows what that means) emotional intimacy, being buried alive, and abandonment

What They Would Be Famous For: i could see him being an actor with a horrible reputation

What They Would Get Arrested For: anything ranging from drug dealing to kidnapping (he was supposed to return vera to the shadow realm, for example). i wouldn’t put much past him

OC You Ship Them With: aliah and rufion (i like him with vera platonically)

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: nora bc she has to deal with his bullshit

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: action and comedy

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: pointless sacrifices. they died, dammit! let that count for something!

Talents and/or Powers: he’s an illusionist, meaning he can warp reality (or one’s perception of reality) and trick people. he can also make portals and fly/hover to some extent.

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s a party animal and he’s fun to be around. he’s also pretty loyal to the people he cares about.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: he’s a no strings attached kind of person. he can be very apathetic and insensitive.

How They Change: he goes from being a villain to being the sidekick of the MC (vera),, i’m so proud of him

Why You Love Them: he’s the classic asshole/misunderstood bad boy turned good…he’s a huge loser that accidentally became cursed and now has a cult following and he’s just hilarious to think about.

here’s a mix i made for him

and his three shipping mixes lmao (aliah)(rufion)(vera)

here’s the cult mix if you want to listen to that  😂😂😂

alsoo i have a sidekick mix

and i’m literally developing two more for him (villain / hero arc, respectively)

can you tell that he’s my favorite

Kira

Full Name: just kira (hi, just. i’m nina)

Gender and Sexuality: female, heterosexual

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: she’s mixed: japanese and black. she’s a human

Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born in japan (city whomst) and she’s 27. probably a gemini or a scorpio

Guilty Pleasures: chocolate/sweets in general and creeping on social media if that counts

Phobias: she suffers from body dysmorphic disorder and suffers from fears that accompany that, such as not being good enough, etc. she also hates bugs, especially spiders.

What They Would Be Famous For: despite her bdd, she’d definitely become famous for being a beauty vlogger/youtuber. her ‘mask’ (aka whatever it is people with bdd do to help themselves cope with their body’s appearance/perceived flaw) would be makeup and she uses her powers to give herself the illusion that she’s someone else (in terms of appearance, if that makes any sense).

What They Would Get Arrested For: shoplifting (idk if you can be arrested for this but it’s the only thing she would do)

OC You Ship Them With: will a lil bit tbh. they’re the mom-dad pair

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: no one lmao

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: romcoms and horror

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: white people doing stupid things in horror movies, the most aggravating definitely being having sex/making out while danger is imminent

Talents and/or Powers: she’s an illusionist and can make portals like edye. she’s also a makeup artist

Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s super sweet and a good listener.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: people misinterpret her as shallow

How They Change: she betrays the Good Guys for her benefit but is forgiven. she also seeks help for her bdd and stops using her powers to alter her appearance (her makeup still serves as a mask though, her insecurities and anxiety don’t disappear overnight)

Why You Love Them: her struggle with self-love is so heartbreaking and she’s so strong and admirable.

Clovette

Full Name: clovette. some people call her clover. she’s also a neopet.

Gender and Sexuality: female, pansexual

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: she’s asian and a human

Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born somewhere in southeast asia. she’s 20 and probably an aquarius

Guilty Pleasures: sleeping in and staying home all day

Phobias: she has a fear of flying and the ocean. she suffers from social anxiety and is afraid of large crowds.

What They Would Be Famous For: she’d be a kickass video game developer

What They Would Get Arrested For: probably doing something illegal online (piracy maybe?)

OC You Ship Them With: maybe with nora

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: no one!!!

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: science fiction and fantasy

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: white savior trope

Talents and/or Powers: she doesn’t have any powers but she’s great at coding and game design and she’s a talented artist.

Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s really funny when you get to know her.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: she comes off as judgmental but she’s really not

How They Change: she’s initially scared of travelling from her island (boats? Horrifying. airplanes? Terrifying.) but then she’s forced to move and has to face that fear plus the fear that comes when you don’t know anyone and have to form new relationships.

Why You Love Them: she has so much potential for growth and she’s so cute and inspiring

Vix

Full Name: i have to pick out a really basic white girl name for her but she goes by vix and vixen is her villain name (edye doesn’t deserve a villain name).

Gender and Sexuality: female, heterosexual but the kind of straight girl that will kiss other girls for male attention.

Pronouns: she/her

Ethnicity/Species: she’s white and a human

Birthplace and Birthdate: she was born in paris, she’s 21, and she’s probably a pisces.

Guilty Pleasures: kissing girls uwu, eating way too many tubs of cookie dough ice cream, and erotica.

Phobias: she’s scared of birds and the deep sea. she’ll enjoy going to the beach but she won’t go in the water because then she thinks of sea monsters and other unknown terrors hidden in the unexplored ocean. she’ll go to a pool, though.

What They Would Be Famous For: she’d be an actress or a journalist

What They Would Get Arrested For: robbery, possibly arson

OC You Ship Them With: no one

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: edye

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: film noir and slasher films/thrillers

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: love triangles

Talents and/or Powers: she uses love magic and mental manipulation.

Why Someone Might Love Them: she’s clever and really determined.

Why Someone Might Hate Them: she’s a bitch.

How They Change: she’s initially shy, awkward, trying to make her way through life. then she falls in love with someone (*coughs* edye *coughs*) and gives herself a makeover. she goes from innocent civilian investigating something to villainess and cult leader. 10/10 transformation

Why You Love Them: i don’t lmao. i like that she fits the femme fatale archetype. she’s a really interesting character. she also unironically calls herself vixen, so there’s that.

here’s her mix

Rufion

Full Name: rufion (pronounced rough-ee-an). he’s also a neopet (he looks so ugly rn because he’s my lab rat).

Gender and Sexuality: male, homosexual

Pronouns: he/him and they/them

Ethnicity/Species: honestly i have not thought about where he’s from at all but he’s brown (we love ethnically ambiguous characters in this house! /s). he’s a human.

Birthplace and Birthdate: [me seeing birthplace: owo what’s this?] he’s 23 and he’s probably a capricorn.

Guilty Pleasures: does ordering a lot of takeout food count? he stays up all night playing video games and loves reading comic books. he also really likes baking sweets (he’d probably be a really good cook but tbh he’s too lazy)

Phobias: he’s scared he’s going to die in his sleep and stays up all night as a result. if someone told him the effects of lack of sleep on his health he would definitely panic

What They Would Be Famous For: he would definitely be in a band. fuck

What They Would Get Arrested For: He Would Never Be Arrested. Next 

OC You Ship Them With: edye

OC Most Likely To Murder Them: vix

Favorite Movie/Book Genre: he doesn’t really like watching tv/movies but superhero films

Least Favorite Movie/Book Cliche: bury your gays

Talents and/or Powers: he’s good at fighting.

Why Someone Might Love Them: he’s really nice, super optimistic, and honest. he’s hard working and responsible. he’s a huge nerd basically

Why Someone Might Hate Them: people might view him as naive and annoying.

How They Change: he’s a sort of private investigator but then he takes a…peculiar case and then………………..he catches feelings lmfao. there’s definitely some side-switching/ambiguity in his future

Why You Love Them: he’s just trying his best honestly. idk how to articulate it but he’s kind of like xD as a human being.

#ask #clearbluewaters #ref #c

[la-femme-de-stardust]

My favorite DnD story ever: the Tale of Old Man Henderson

"The Origin of Old Man Henderson

Waffle House Millionaire 07/06/10(Tue)06:26 No 10966503

I hate de-railing a thread on accident. Who wants to hear the Tale of Old Man Henderson, the character who 'won' Call of Cthulhu?

Anonymous 07/06/10(Tue)06 27 No.10966512

I do

Alright then, I'd like to start by saying that the GM was a bastard that had it coming. Bullshit tactics to make everyone go crazy like a d6 with only 5 sides. No story, no reason; lose 10 sanity. The others continued to allow this faggotry. We were playing a modern day setting, with the other players being a college professor who found a couple of stray pages of a copy of the Necronomicon and wanted to find out just what the hell it was, a detective who was investigating a missing persons case connected to the local cult and a local athlete (I think it was football) trying to find out why some of his friends seemed so distant lately. And then... there was Old Man Henderson, who was never given a first name.

Old Man Henderson was already a little crazy, and blamed his life's misfortunes on Vietnam.

He never went to Vietnam, he was 12 in 74. (And I will be fucking amazed if anyone gets that reference. (Not everyone does. It is the song "My Brother-In-Law" by Tim Wilson, as far as I can tell.) )

[Link for those without google-fu: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ]

Old Man Henderson wore combat boots, cargo shorts, and an open-front Hawaiian shirt with a wife-beater underneath.

He was dyslexic, and had a lesser case of Schizophrenia. allowing him to assume that the reason he saw crazy shit was because he WAS a little bit crazy.

He had a grizzly adams beard and wore his hair in a mohawk.

He never took off his aviator shades, for any reason.

He had a stuffed parrot on his shoulder named Rupert that he constantly asked for advice, while ignoring the other party members as convenient, assuming they were hallucinations.

He had an Automatic combat shot-gun he knew how to use.

He also had MEMORIZED the anarchist's cookbook. He started the game with a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books.

His motivation was that he thought that the cult had stole his lawngnomes; while he had actually donated them to a charity auction, got high, and forgot about it.

Most importantly, he had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly.

You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in.

The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold.

to ensure the GM would never actually read it and

Since he would never read it except for in excerpts I pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY

Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasn't simply the game wrecking bullshit that it was.

Dickish yes, but he really did have it coming.

First outing of the group. The Detective was spying on the building of the cultists with a camera. The Jock was parked nearby, waiting for the group to let out so he could snoop it out The Professor had joined the cult to try and gain information.

Old Man Henderson very calmly parked his car, got out holding the shotgun in clear view of anyone who happened to be looking (in this case, the detective and the Jock), strolled up to the front door and kicked it in.

While everyone just kind of stopped in shocked silence for a moment, he leveled his shotgun on the lead priest/cultist guy and yelled "MUCKLE DAMRED CULTI 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?"

Did I mention that he had a nigh-incomprehensible Scottish accent that came and went as he drank and/or as amused me?

The leader couldn't understand my simple request to return my lawn gnomes (literally, you think what I typed is hard to understand? imagine it being slurred at you by a drunken Scotsman), he assumed I was trying to cast a spell at him in an elder tongue and summoned a shoggoth by murdering one of his fellows.

One Molotov And about 20 rounds later, the Shoggoth is dead, as is the cult leader, the Professor (he made the mistake of trying to make peace-maker mid murderous rampage) and about 10 assorted cultists.

Old Man Henderson then pissed on the Shoggoth's corpse, got back in his battered '92 Buick Century, and went home. The whole event was over in about ten minutes game time and nobody thought to get the Buick's plates.

The building burned down shortly, along with about half the written plot, and every lead either of the other surviving players had. The GM called a break then to figure out how to fix and/or work around what I just did.

It only got crazier from there."

From 1d4chan: https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Old_Man_Henderson

[lestvt]

me: people need to stop over-analyzing every single detail of [insert title here]

also me: *spends 2 hours writing a 1.5k essay on why i hate when people compare Light Yagami to Lelouch from Code Geass*

Light vs. Lelouch

As someone who thrives on over-analyzing the shit out of tiny details in media, I consider myself to be pretty well versed in the ways of character study. And as much as I am an anime-loving time-waster, I’m also an extremely opinionated anime-loving time-waster. So, as an extremely opinionated anime-loving, time-wasting, story-consumer/teller, I really must stress that I absolutely despise the commonplace comparison between Light Yagami of Death Note and Lelouch vi Britannia of Code Geass. Since you now know that I’m a nerd, I can also tell you two more facts about me: 1. Code Geass has been my favorite anime since I was 13, and I have rewatched it in full about 5 times. And 2. Death Note was one my other favorites… until it became mainstream and the movies started happening and I was completely repulsed by how edgy everyone thought they were for enjoying it… and then 7 years later (like a few weeks ago) I rewatched it and remembered that I really adore Light’s characterization.

Although, I really can’t say I blame people for comparing Light to Lelouch. They are, in essence, very similar characters. Both of their stories are based around the question of whether or not the ends justify the means. They both do some morally questionable things, AKA killing people. They both have a counterpart who disagrees with their methods and actively opposes them. And, most importantly, they both laugh like fucking lunatics on several occasions. I’m not arguing with any of that, in fact I’d readily agree if you were to say “they are more alike than they are different.”

Here’s the thing though, Light Yagami is a narcissistic, sociopath who would kill his own sister to achieve his goals and Lelouch vi Britannia/Lamperouge IS LITERALLY THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THAT. Though their actions may be similarly questionable, the key different between Light and Lelouch is the context of those actions. And, believe me, context matters.  

I’m going to start by talking about Light, because overall his reasoning is simpler than Lelouch’s. Light is a jaded, egotistical pessimist who got fucking seduced by a book that exists solely for murdering people. Let me just say, I love Light; he is one of my favorite anime characters of all time. But if you know anything about me as a person (*waves at my friends*), then you know this means he’s a Terrible Person™. (Disclaimer: Lelouch is not my favorite character from Code Geass [Suzaku is, but that’s a horror story of moral perplexities for another day]).

I think a lot of people like to romanticize this idea of Light being a good person who was saddled with the curse of the Death Note, but that’s simply not true. Even before finding the Death Note, Light was bored and disgusted with life. He was literally the top student in Japan, junior tennis champ –the sport he quit after becoming the best at – and a straight up liar. I mean, no wonder he thought he was better than everyone, in a way he was. I wrote a whole character study on Light a while back that I never posted. In it I talked about why I think the Death Note didn’t make him evil, so much as it allowed him the chance to try to be.

Of course, we know that Light justified his actions by killing only criminals at first, but we also know that he eventually purposefully murdered a number of innocent people who threatened his capture (L, Raye Penber, Naomi Misora, etc.). We also know he killed someone who was literally on his side (Kiyomi Takada), and that he considered killing his sister to keep possession of the Death Note. And we know he then strategically planned to have a breakdown during his father’s last moments alive so he could get him to write Mello’s real name in the Death Note. Yeah, that’s right. He didn’t actually have a breakdown over his father’s death. He pretended to so he could kill somebody trying to oppose him (which didn’t work by the way). I feel like anyone who argues that Light was in the right must’ve stopped watching after L died, because I don’t know how you can think his intentions are honestly pure while knowing these things.

Okay, here’s my totally real breakdown of things; Light is a sociopath who doesn’t want a better world so much as to be worshiped as a God. He does not care about the lives of his family members as much his own, if at all, and literally does not care about anyone else in the slightest. He justifies his actions by saying it’s for the betterment of the world, and he avoids guilt by adopting a God-complex that plays on his already inflated ego, something he’s only able to do because of the “power” of the Death Note. He’s been lying constantly throughout his life, pretending to be the perfect son, student, citizen, and overall person – always polite to your face even though he thinks he’s better than you. He’s the type of guy to compliment you to your face while mentally insulting you in his head.  So basically, Light Yagami is NOT a good guy. He’s a childish genius who tricked himself into believing his own lies. He pretended to be the perfect person so well for so long, that now even he thinks it’s true.      

Lelouch isn’t like that. Lelouch would never allow the people he cares about to die without putting up a fight, even if it means his own downfall. He proves this multiple times. He may have caused the deaths of innocent people, but you must also keep in mind that Lelouch was fighting a war for the independence of a country. Death in war is expected, we all know this. The only lives that were lost by Lelouch’s hand that weren’t soldiers’ (or just overall bad people’s) lives were accidental.

Like Light, Lelouch is an effortless genius and aware of it, but unlike Light, he does not think he is without fault because of this. Also unlike Light, Lelouch cares about people other than himself. Take their family relationships for example. Light has a younger sister, Sayu. As previously mentioned, he considers killing her to keep the Death Note, as she is being held hostage in exchange for it. By comparison, Lelouch’s younger sister, Nunnally, is his sole purpose for living. She is the reason he wants to make the world a kinder place. And he doesn’t want to do this by enforcing a moral code on everyone like Light. He wants to take down an oppressive monarchy led by his own father. Lelouch would – and does – throw all caution to the wind to protect his little sister, often putting himself at risk. Nunnally isn’t the only one Lelouch risks himself for either. He does so for Suzaku, his best friend, as well. What’s more, he does this even though Suzaku is the one actively opposing him and his greatest threat. However, unlike Light, Lelouch’s biggest concern isn’t his “cause,” it’s the people he’s fighting for. He wants Nunnally, Suzaku, and all his other friends to live in a kinder world. And he’s willing to sacrifice himself to achieve that.

That’s another key different between Light and Lelouch though. Lelouch knows that some of the things he has done are inexcusable, but he prioritizes the betterment of the world over himself. Not to give out spoilers for a show that ended a decade ago or anything, but Lelouch plans his own death specifically for that reason. He has no intention of asking for forgiveness for what he’s done or trying to justify it. He’s happy to die a villain if it means the world is a kinder place. Meanwhile, Light’s cause ends with him. Sure, there was a cult following left behind for Kira. But Light’s plans failed with his death, because, as he said himself, he planned to rule over his “utopia” for a long time. Maybe initially he cared about the betterment of the world, but eventually that ideal was lost in the fog of his fucking God-complex. He was more like a cult leader than a God though. There’s no doubt in my mind he’d eventually kill people just for questioning or speaking out against Kira. After all, he’s perfect and good, and therefore anyone who opposes him is evil apparently. He didn’t make the world better, he scared the bad people into hiding. And once the threat of Kira was gone for good, there’s no doubt in my mind they all came out again anyway.  

The comparison between Lelouch and Light is kind of laughable with this in mind. They may both be the morally questionable protagonists of shows that came out around the same time (though the Death Note manga is older than Code Geass). However, while Light is just a plain piece of shit person with an extremely fucking inflated ego – a true villain really – Lelouch is more of an anti-hero. Though both have done terrible things and caused many people’s deaths, it’s important to consider the context of their actions. And stop saying they’re the fucking same. Please.        

#death note #light yagami #code geass #lelouch vi britannia #lelouch lamperouge #me #i just really needed to express this in writing #ya know?

[vagaries-and-caprices-blog]

Notes on the Hugh Dancy oeuvre: “Martha Marcy May Marlene” (2011)

Throughout the entire evolution of conspicuous expenditure, whether of goods or of services or human life, runs the obvious implication that in order to effectually mend the consumer’s good fame it must be an expenditure of superfluities. In order to be reputable it must be wasteful. […] A standard of life would still be possible which should admit of invidious comparison in other respects than that of opulence; as, for instance, a comparison in various directions in the manifestation of moral, physical, intellectual, or aesthetic force. Comparison in all these directions is in vogue today; and the comparison made in these respects is commonly so inextricably bound up with the pecuniary comparison as to be scarcely distinguishable from the latter. This is especially true as regards the current rating of expressions of intellectual and aesthetic force or proficiency; so that we frequently interpret as aesthetic or intellectual a difference which in substance is pecuniary only.

Thorstein Veblen, The Theory of the Leisure Class: An Economic Study of Institutions (1899)

“[Martha] is overtly questioning the track that he and his wife are on, which is [an] aspirational, middle-class lifestyle of trying to hold a job together and earn some money, and get the kind of house in the country. I mean, it’s all pretty reasonable, really, and she just stands up to their face and says, ‘What’s the point? It’s meaningless.’ And it drives him crazy. One of the things I liked about Ted is that under the surface there’s a lot going on […] you’re never quite clear of his motives. He has very mixed feelings about this young, attractive girl who has suddenly arrived in his home, not as clear cut that he is attracted to her, but something is bubbling away. She just touches a nerve in him and it sends him a little bit over the edge in that one moment.” –Hugh Dancy

Screen Team Media, interview of Hugh Dancy about Martha Marcy May Marlene, October 18, 2011

“Martha Marcy May Marlene” is a disturbing and thought-provoking movie about coercion and how easily politeness can veer into violence: in a cult, in society in general, in the company of loved ones and family. It shows what happens to an individual who struggles against coercion in all its forms.

Sean Durkin’s directing and writing are excellent. Elizabeth Olsen, as Martha, brings just the right mix of youthful sullenness, fear, and internal strength. John Hawkes and Maria Dizzia as the cult leaders, Patrick and Katie, are creepy and brilliant. Hugh Dancy and Sarah Paulson, as Ted and Lucy, tenderly and painfully portray a self-satisfied, middle-class couple reacting to Martha’s challenge to everything they hold dear.

The cult scenes are shocking and work so well that I was drawn in with queasy fascination. The cult rejects modern consumerist culture. They do not simply “épater la bourgeoisie,” but literally stab the bourgeoisie with their own (expensive) kitchen knives in their own (expensive) vacation homes.

What makes the movie so effective are Martha’s PTSD-like flashbacks to her time in the cult—her memory and reality start to blend. But, in addition, her reactions are to feeling pressure to conform even in the “normal” society of her own family. The movie encourages us to see parallels in coercion between the two “cults,” so to speak, and to join Martha in her critiques.

Katie: We switch off jobs each day so we all know how to do different things. Do you knit? Martha: No. I can learn though. Katie: Oh no, that’s okay, you’ll find your role. It takes time for people to find their role in a new family.

Lucy: Put this on. Martha: You’re kidding. Lucy: Martha, your clothes are disgusting, just try it. Martha: Why does it matter? Lucy: Because it feels good to put on something nice and comfortable.

Martha: Why is the house so big? Lucy: The house isn’t so big. Martha: It’s big for two people. Lucy: Well, yeah, but we like to entertain. Sometimes friends come up for the weekend, sometimes we have parties. It’s just nice to have space. Martha: So no one else lives here? Lucy: Of course no one else lives here.

Although Hugh Dancy’s part is supporting, the character is important to the story. Ted parallels Patrick welcoming Martha to the cult. Ted acts kindly and shows concern for Martha when she arrives, but when Martha refuses to act as he wants and questions the “system” he has set up, his mask of civility falls and he erupts in rage.

Ted: There are moments in my life when I would love to just go to France and exist. Martha: You can do that if you want to. Ted: It is not that simple. Martha: You know, it’s not your fault but you learned to measure success by money and possessions. It’s just not the right way to live. Ted: Not the right way to live? What is the right way to live exactly? Martha, what is the right way to live? Hmm? Is it, um, vanishing off the face of the Earth and not calling your family for two years or until they are worried sick about you? Is that the right way to live? Or is it, I don’t know, living without possessions until you actually need some and then turning up on our doorstep, where you know you can get some? Is that the right way to live? Lucy: Ted— Ted: No no no no no! You sit there lecturing us about our lives and so far I have not witnessed one sign that you have any values of your own. You should remember, Martha, that you are living under my roof and you are eating my food. And you should watch your mouth because you are rude. Martha: You don’t know anything about it!

Patrick similarly drops his mask of “love” when provoked. After shoving Martha against a wall, he releases her and pulls away:

Patrick: Maybe I asked too much from you too soon. I’ll expect less of you from now on, ok? Martha: I’m sorry. Patrick: No no, shhh. You’re my favorite and I won’t lose you. [He puts his hand on the inside of her thigh.]

This scene cuts back to Ted and Lucy’s house. Martha is dreaming about Patrick threatening her and stroking her thigh. We see a glimpse in the dark of Ted’s hand. It is not clear what he’s doing, but she reacts in fear and ends up kicking him down a flight of stairs. I find it irrisistible that no resolution or explanation is given. That is, Ted was about touch her, either to fondle her overtly or perhaps to adjust a blanket as a subconscious “excuse” to touch her. Sean Durkin refrains from telling us exactly what Ted was doing or if Martha’s response was appropriate. We are left to decide for ourselves.

This movie is one of my favorites of the past decade. Hugh Dancy’s performance is shocking and believable and simply excellent. I’m a big fan.

Gifs for the gif-inclined

ETA: I strongly recc reading Veblen.

#notes on the oeuvre #martha marcy may marlene #hugh dancy #elizabeth olsen #john hawkes #maria dizzia #sarah paulson #acting! #sean durkin #thorstein veblen