#I prefer Jesse while understanding all the reasons they didn't want to leave it

[agereoneshots]

(Y'all remember that unspecified period of time in season one where Larry and Rita moved out and had a house? This is meant to be set during that time.)

Larry sighed. He and Rita really needed money. Rita could get jobs but she struggled to keep them. Larry struggled to get jobs but when he did, he was good at keeping them...until people stopped coming in because of his appearance. Larry got an idea. Danny! Of course he could get a job on Danny Street! No one would judge him for his appearance, just his skills!

Two weeks later and he had a steady job at a flower shop on Danny Street. While the customers where usually very nice, today he dealt with someone who must have had a bad day. Larry sighed as he watched the customer leave. He whined quietly as that weird fuzzy feeling he felt on and off throughout his life filled his brain. He pulled his coat, one that he was surprised he was allowed to wear over his uniform (well, his uniform was just an apron but still), tighter around him and hid his face in the fluff a little.

"Larry? Are you ok?" Larry's boss, Jess, placed a hand on his shoulder.

"I-I'm fine..." Larry mumbled. God why did he sound so childish when he was like this? Jess sighed.

"Go clock out and check into the regression daycare."

"What's that?"

"Its a daycare for regressors." Larry knew what a daycare was but...

"What do you mean by regressors?"

"Do you not know what age regression is?" Larry shook his head. Jess sighed.

"Hey Al! I'm stepping out for a bit, you're in charge!" Jess clocked both of them out and led Larry to the daycare.

"Hey Jess!" The person at the desk greeted them.

"Hi Jeremy."

"What brings you here today?"

"I'm pretty sure that Larry-" Jess pointed at Larry. "is regressed but he doesn't know what that is."

"Ah. Don't worry, we'll take care of him." Jess nodded and left Larry behind.

"Hi. I'm Jeremy. I have some paperwork you're going to need to fill out, I can help you with it if need be." Larry nodded as he took the clipboard. He was certain he wouldn't need help, but it was common for help to be offered on Danny Street. The questions were normal, for Danny Street at least. What was your legal name, what was your preferred name if it was different, what was your gender, what were your pronouns...the first question that confused him was asking if he was an age regressor or pet regressor.

"What di-does this mean?" Larry asked.

"Oh. Regression is an act where someone mentally regresses into another state. This is usually done because of stress or trauma but there are many reasons for why someone would do so. Age regression refers to mentally becoming a younger age while pet regression is when they regress into a more animal like headspace." Jeremy explained. Larry stared at the question for a moment. It fit, especially the age regression, but he wasn't entirely sure.

"I...I don't have an answer for this question."

"That's ok! Just leave it and related questions blank." Larry nodded and looked at the remanding questions. They were questions asking about what the staff were allowed to do with him. He was new to all of this so he decided that they could do things like hold his hand or take off his shoes but couldn't do things like undress him. He looked over the papers, noted how his handwriting got more childish as he went on, and gave Jeremy the clipboard back.

"Do you think your more like an age regressor or a pet regressor?" Larry wanted to respond verbally...but he also didn't. Jeremy would understand that, right? He (that's what his pronoun badge said) worked with people who regressed into children, one of them would have gone quiet after being verbal at some point. Larry held up one finger and hoped he understood.

"Age regressor? Ok. We're going to start you in the playroom, ok?" Larry nodded. Jeremy took his hand and led him to the playroom.

"Hey Roman! Got another little guy for you!" Roman looked over. Larry hid his face in the fluff of his coat again.

"Aww. Hi little guy. I'm Roman. I'm the head caregiver for this room for today. I'm going to be taking care of you." Larry waved a little.

"Here's his paperwork." Jeremy handed them over to Roman. Roman looked it over before handing it back.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of him!" Jeremy left the room. Roman took Larry's hand and led him over to some toys.

"Pick out one you want." Larry looked at them before picking up a wooden airplane. Roman led him over to where other regressors were playing and left him to join them. It didn't take long for Roman and the other caregivers to realize that Larry was regressed quiet young. Roman crouched down in front of him.

"Hey little guy. I think you're a little too young for this room. I'm going to take you to the nursery, ok?" Larry made grabby hands at Roman. Roman picked him up and carried him to the nursery.

"Hi Roman! Aww, did you get a little baby?" One of the nursery caregivers walked over and took Larry from Roman.

"Hi Will. Yeah, got this little guy. He's new to this. You can check his paperwork with Jeremy. His name is Larry." Roman left.

"Hi little guy!" Will turned their attention to Larry. Larry didn't say anything. Will sat him down with some toys. Larry happily began playing.

Three hours later, Larry woke up in an adult crib.

"Did you have a good nap?" One of the caregivers asked. Larry looked at them.

"...yeah....I....I'm going to leave now..." Larry mumbled.

"Ok! You can always come back and check yourself back in for the day!" Larry nodded, made sure he had all of his things, and left. He went back to work but was told to just go home for the rest of the day. He nodded and left. Maybe he'd go back to the daycare in the future.

#age regression #agere #fandom agere #doom patrol #larry trainor #rita farr

[masterjedilenawrites]

I will throw 10$ (No joke) at you on Ko-fi if do a kiss and Make-Up for that Break Up post 🥺

P.S regardless if you do it I’ll give you 10$ cause honestly gotta support writers! XD

Ahh... I see reading those headcanons hurt as much as it did to write them...  Well how about that lol 🙃 Thanks though, anon, for requesting a more positive spin on the subject. I much prefer happier endings to sad ones.

(Also for the record, I'm writing this for free because it's fan-fiction and I don't own any of these characters... but if you want to give me money for other/unrelated reasons I won't complain 😅 hehe. I appreciate your support!)

First, some set-up: His ex comes to him after just a short time away, sobbing and regretful. They hadn't been in a good headspace when they left. They'd been dealing with their own issues and for some reason felt it was best to break up with their clone boyfriend in the process. It hadn't taken them long to realize what a huge mistake that was. How much they still loved him and needed him in their life. They pour their heart out, maybe even have it in a letter for him to read and come to terms with in his own time. But they are asking for another chance. They want to try again....

Kix, Hunter, and Echo are hesitant and definitely need some time to think about it. They were seriously hurt over the breakup and aren't sure they could handle something like that again. They want to be absolutely sure this relationship will last if it's re-started. Once they talk things through and come to the decision to get back together, they will take things slow and ensure stronger communication between them in order to build something that lasts this time. Their makeup kisses are cute and clumsy, like it's their first all over again.

Cody, Rex, and Tup are confused, but willing to reconsider. They'll hear their S/O out, maybe ask for a little bit of time, but they don't drag out the decision either. Of course they'll take their S/O back. They are understanding and empathetic. But they are also cautious going forward. Things won't be exactly as they were. They'll need time to rebuild trust but are willing to put in the effort if their S/O is, too. Their makeup kisses are quick and soft, like they don't want to break the peace.

Fives, Hardcase, and Wrecker are elated. Maybe they should be more cautious and thoughtful about this, but they can't help it. They had been struggling with getting over the breakup, dreaming and praying that it was all some horrible nightmare they'd soon wake up from. And now they pretty much are. They dive right back in as if it hadn't ended, though there may be a few heart-to-hearts about how the situation really took a toll on them. Their makeup kisses are eager and sloppy, like they've been starved for too long.

Jesse, Dogma, and Crosshair are irritated at first. Why did they have to endure a broken heart only to find out it was a mistake? But deep down they're also relieved. They hated being alone, hated having to get over the one person they were able to be vulnerable with. Their return to the relationship seems reluctant, and they won't actually want to discuss anything for a while. But once they do, it's very freeing, allowing them to truly start over. Their makeup kisses are heated and desperate, like they're afraid this isn't real.

Wolffe, Fox, and Tech initially turn them down. Why would they just get back together when there'd been a reason to end it? Those reasons didn't just go away. And all that work they'd put in to heal and move on? No. But as the days go by, their S/O's words really start to sink in and they wonder if maybe they could try again. They make them promise to never leave like that again, and then they're all-in. Their makeup kisses are tender and lingering, like they're making a statement.

Clone Tag List: @damerondala, @marvel-starwars-nerd, @dangerousstrawberrypie, @pandora-the-halfling, @misogirl828, @darkangel4121, @sobstea, @rintheemolion, @dionysuskid21, @jesseeka, @hanbedumbaf, @fallingforthem, @harleyevanstan, @imabeautifulbutterfly, @justanothersadperson93, @thatmultifandomdumbass, @sarahtanmarvel, @itsagrimm, @call-me-a-fool, @lackofhonor, @error6gendernotfound, @theclonesdeservebetter, @hannahhearttcw, @Techie-bear, @Lottemoppie13, @salaminus

+Bad Batch Tag: @bowtiesandsandshoes, @softlymellow

(Join my tag list here)

#star wars #the clone wars #the bad batch #make up #back together #kissy kissy #tender loving clones #commander cody #commander wolffe #commander fox #captain rex #kix #tup #jesse #fives #hardcase #dogma #crosshair #echo #tech #hunter #wrecker

[docholligay]

Cole Cassidy is....less bad than I was imagining. I literally know a gay cowboy named Cole, I fuck you not. Last name isn’t my favorite, but it’s like, fine. 

I admit to a touch of shock. 

#I prefer Jesse while understanding all the reasons they didn't want to leave it #it looks like they're framing this as his choice to be someone else #different #better #and that's an interesting idea even if my own take would have had him dying as atonement #anyway I doubt the narrative they write around this would be as good as it could be #but ISN'T THAT THE WAY #anyway now to decide what I'll do #Doc this dropped like minutes ago why are you still in OW hell #LISTEN JUST LET ME ENGAGE IN ACTIVE SELF-HARM #I LOVE THIS STUPID BOX OF GI JOES SO FUCKING MUCH

[ziracona]

What do you see happening after Josh is being rescued? Does he meet everyone of his friend eventually or some of them keep their distance? I read one of your answers about them abandoning him and honestly I don't think they didn't care at all about him, but the events were so traumatic and scary that they probably had a hard time taking into consideration that small possibility of him being alive. Plus I guess it's also part of the smooth flow of the game if it makes sense, Mike doesn't go after Jess either after he sees her falling into the mines and accuses Josh of killing her without being 100% sure that she is dead and without seeing Josh around when shit happened to her. But if I were Josh maybe I would be upset knowing they didn't come for me at all. So how would a reunion go?

That’s valid! You can interpret the lack of an interest in rescuing Josh to multiple things—that they are very sure he’s dead, if you want to be as generous as possible to them. That they think he’s probably dead and are afraid of dying too more than willing to save him, that they’re (sans Chris) too mad about the prank he pulled, etc. And I can see why people would go for any number of them. I think to me it has always read like they think he is probably dead, and the whatever he has, 30%, 20% chance? Of still being alive just isn’t enough for them to feel motivated to face very likely death to go hunting for him, especially with flamethrower dude just dead doing the same. Which makes /me/ angry, because Mike went batshit after seeing Jess wounded and dragged through a window and more trying to save her, multiple characters can kill themselves trying to save the others in the finale, etc, and I just think if you /can/ save someone who is your friend—or like, you have a shot anyway—you don’t know it is too late. You should. (& true Jess can still be alive and Mike will assume she is dead, but in his defense, so do basically all blind playthroughs she looks like she falls four stories or something while already almost dead I can’t fault Mike for assuming that was a 100% death there. Boy really tried. Whereas Josh’s vanishing from the shed is much less confirmed. There is no ‘I watched him fall’ here. Just a neither he nor his dead body were still in the shed so /something/ happened). Like I do get it, that’s a terrifying situation and not helping doesn’t = not caring, but I will hold it against characters if they don’t risk themselves to save their friends and I will be unhappy with them. Loyalty is very important to me. But it is a truly terrifying situation.

But I also get why they’d be terrified to go out there. I don’t think it makes them evil to not want to risk it till they have to, it just makes me disappointed in them. I don’t think I said I think they didn’t care about him—typo if I did, because I certainly don’t think that at all! I think Chris was traumatized and felt very sure he was dead, Ashley didn’t care (she explicitly says she thinks he deserves it and tries to stop Chris from saving him the first time), Emily doesn’t care a lot one way or another and is mostly on her own trauma right now and thinking about Matt and the awful shit she saw, that Sam does care but thinks he is probably dead and is in team mom mode and cares more about trying to keep as many friends alive as possible right now than anything else and doesn’t want to lose the others, and Mike is still pissed but also feels very bad and would prefer for Josh to make it but is also more focused on group survival and not losing anyone else since he just lost someone he loves horribly (based largely on how his reaction to the safe room scenario is either to kill Emily and feel awful but do it because he very vocally and visibly doesn’t want the others to be killed and she won’t go peacefully, and he’s terrified of losing them, or to try but not be able to because he loves Emily, and instead give the gun to the others to try to save themselves with in the event she /does/ turn). And although he’s a right coward bastard for leaving Josh if Josh gets grabbed instead of killed, down in the mines, I do think he cared about Josh. He seems truly sorry to some extent when he finds him, and does /try/ to lead him out of the mines. At the point they make the decision to go for the cable car key, I don’t think they don’t care at all, except Ashley. I just think they should care more. Although I tend to give Chris a pass because he just watched a man get beheaded, has strong reason to think Josh is dead, is injured, and spends the entire rest of the game more or less in traumatized mode quiet in the corner.

But that said I can also see why people would interpret the reactions to mean they all believe he is very dead, and mean they’re going after his corpse! I can see lots of basis in-game to interpret in quite a number of ways. And be generous to the fool kids if you want to! I /super/ hold abandoning Josh in the mines wildly against Mike, but Mike is still one of my favorite characters in the whole game. I love how flawed the cast is and that you go in hating most of them and only slowly grow to care because you don’t want them dead-dead, which keeps you there long enough to see some of their good sides. *cheff’s kiss* the great ability of the horror genre. The bar to initially invest is so low, it lets you have such a multi-faceted cast.

Okay anyway, original question! What do I see happening after Josh gets rescued and exorcised.

I think he meets up with all of them again eventually. Interesting to think from Josh’s pov how he’s going to feel. I expect to some degree he does feel abandoned, and fairly, and in RoB it is very clear he is afraid to some extent of Mike and Chris after being dragged off and tied up and left in the shed, and the things they said to him. He also /definitely/ feels massively guilty and self-blaming about all of it. He’s telling himself through Hill that no one will come for him and it’s his own fault by the final chapter. And mostly he’s just afraid of Mike and in ptsd dissociating mode by the time Sam and Mike find him. So, mixed feelings on his part I expect. Lots of fear and pain and hurt at being abandoned and so universally believed capable of murder, hurt, left to die alone in the mines. Pretty damn betrayed, and that on top of the hurt from what happened to his sisters and the inherent paranoia of paranoid schizophrenia. Hurt that they just left him. Hurt they didn’t believe him. Hurt nobody came for him until it was too late. Hurt he got betrayed again. Probably pretty miserable overall. But with that, also feels really bad about going too far and hates and blames himself intensely for everything, and I expect is also kind of not just traumatized but ashamed of what happens to him, and everyone knowing about the possession and the cannibalism. Probably he wants to lock himself in a room in the corner of a big house and never come out. But also is intensely and miserably and hopelessly lonely. Probably feels all of his friendships are likely broken beyond repair.

I don’t think they are though. Chris “I’m not your bro” six seconds later “bro are you for real?” Hartley almost dies trying to save him and wouldn’t care about the possession stuff except to be worried about him. Sam is angry and harboring some resentment, but clearly reacts to Mike reporting he is gone with regret. Mike would probably feel very guilty for leaving him and be hesitant to reconnect and then defensive doing it, but I think he cares. Jess wasn’t even there for this shit so probably she does. Same for Matt maybe? Ashley and Emily are harder to guess for. I think Ashley would be incredibly angry and resentful—I mean she wants him dead in-game, but might eventually join the others if the others got over stuff? Bc she’s also kinda a joiner? Really it’s hard to say she is a very...hair-trigger character. Volatile and intensely and massively changeable. Probably the least predictable of all. That kind of person scares me deeply in real life because I have been very backstabbed by them before. >.> But anyway hard to say. Also a lot of this depends on what ending, even assuming they all live. But I usually assume that like, Mike almost shot Em, didn’t, Matt tried to save her, Sam saw the workshop, etc ending. Emily I really don’t know. She’s a very self-reliant and hard person. She didn’t have anything very specifically for or against Josh with her experience, but wasn’t that close to him before, so I think she just kinda falls wherever she falls.

I think mostly though that they’d reconnect. Definitely Chris would jump to it, and I think Sam would too—she’s a well educated, empathetic and understanding person. She’d know he needs her. And Chris is his childhood best friend and cares the whole game. I think Mike would try to go too because of guilt, and because he’s a decent guy. Probably so would after not much time those least effected by what Josh did. I think Josh would be alone while being exorcised and probably reocvering in a hospital some after, and Chris would be the first, or Chris and Sam possibly. I think he’d be afraid to see them, and it would be complicated and messy and painful for them all, but it would be okay and sort itself out and they’d find old ground quickly. And having them there would be /incredibly/ vital to helping him recover. I think eventually he’d get back on his feet, and a lot of his old friends would be around and stay in his life. I think things would get better. I’d say the OG ExorJosh comic writer I think did a good job of guessing about what a lot of it would be like. Hard, and slow, and messy. But a lot of them care for him, and I think that would matter enough to help things get okay between them again.

#ask #anonymous #until dawn #long post #Josh Washington #spoilers #exorjosh #exor-Josh

[literatigifs]

I think it's just another dumb argument they love to use for the sake of trying to find some sort of reason why liking Jess more than L*gan is still somehow fundamentally wrong from fans or trying to dismiss Jess's development because "well we didn't see him change, but we saw Logan change!". First of all, that argument itself has numerous flaws to begin with, the biggest one being that yes, we did see Logan change throughout the series, but it definitely wasn't always for the better and it wasn't nearly as positive as his fans love saying that it is.

My personal issue with Logan's "development" that consistently some of his fans also use is that he did change some aspects of his behavior and life for Rory, and while that's not strictly a bad thing, the only time we ever see him change his own life for his own good is when he decided to distance himself from his father's company right at the end of season 7. And even this change isn't all that positive to me because right after he succeeds in getting a new job, he takes to proposing to Rory all of a sudden and when she doesn't agree to it, he breaks up with her for no reason. All the development he had before this also felt like it was a lot at Rory's expense, too. That's my biggest gripe with all this ongoing praise towards Logan's "development" in the series: it had to take Rory being in a relationship with him for 2 years, nursing him back to health after he almost died because of his own recklessness, never get to be angry at him for breaking up with her and then sleeping with multiple girls without even letting her know, and paying more attention to his own emotional problems than he ever paid attention to hers in order for him to even become a semi-functioning member of society that has a stable job and isn't just blowing money because he can. Logan's development is a result of Rory's presence in his life, but it's so often at the expense of her own emotions that by the end of it, I really couldn't be patient anymore with him when he just randomly decided that obliging to Rory's wish for them to continue dating but not get married immediately was not good enough for him. As if Rory doing long-distance dating while also having to sort out the beginning of her own adult life was in any way easy for her, and all the while she only ever offered him support.

The difference between this and Jess's development is that yes, Jess did hurt Rory, and his actions aren't in any way excusable because of his previous issues, but the show took to addressing this the best way that it could and actually showed the beginning of his turn for the better near the end of season 4, right when Luke said that he won't try to intervene with his life anymore and when Rory rejected him when he wanted to run away. Jess changed his life for the better for himself, he didn't change it just so his relationship with Rory could continue and he didn't change just because of Rory or at her own expense. As much as I hate Jess's leaving in season 3, I also understand why he didn't just want to reach out to anyone and in a way it makes his development all the more meaningful to me. It took the two people who believed that he could do better giving up on the idea to help him for Jess to consider changing his life for the better, and he did that all on his own. And the biggest difference between his and Logan's character trajectory is that we see Jess continue to have that stable life, regardless of where he stood with Rory, whether they were just friends or a missed opportunity of being with each other. It's not Rory's job to maintain her boyfriend's positive development or sense of responsibility, and this is why I prefer Rory and Jess especially after season 6 because I believe that she wouldn't have to. If anything else, you could even argue that by season 6 their places in their relationship have changed: Jess becomes the person that cheers Rory on as she grapples with her own problems. In every scene that we get of them after season 4, however sparse, this is what it basically comes down to, and why it's so easy to understand why people would prefer Jess's development in comparison to Logan's. Also to note, Jess managed to build a better life for himself at the age of 21 while also having no stable resources, whereas Logan only decided to branch out at 25 while having an abundant amount of them. Logan can easily change for better or for worse without his accomodations changing because of who he is, so it shows less of a positive message that you can always start again and try for the better, and more of a "as long as you can rely on daddy's money, you can do anything!".

And to comment, I really doubt that any of the people that take to arguing this would've ever actually cared to see Jess's development, especially when it relied more on him finding his own way and less on Rory and Luke. You'd just know that these same people would just complain about the show not focusing on the Gilmores or on Rory and her relationships specifically, and if Jess's development had been more tied to Rory, then it would've been the opposite of this argument and they basically would've complained about how Jess only changed so that he could have his second chance with her. Basically, most Logan fans that I see don't actually give a shit about this, they're just grasping for straws and trying to argue that Logan only changing when Rory was in his life is actually a good thing, when it's obviously not. A relationship like that is more codependent and relies on only one person's stability than two, and an adult relationship like that would be even worse.

#answered #anonymous #anti logan huntzberger #just in case

[guigz1-coldwar]

'Panic': New chapter for "Redemption in a Spirit in a Cold War" is out !

'Panic'

"Jess Blackwell...but call me 'Bell', it's...nice to meet you, miss Park!"

Chapter Summary: Yirina is still struggling with her mental breakdown, staying hidden in Zasha's apartment, wanting to be better...she just want that...but why everything must be bad for her?

Link of the Picrew used !

To read it on AO3, click here!

Words : +3000

Taglist : @snowgoldwaylon , @clxudtea , @efingart

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July 6th, despite my attempts to get over my mental breakdown, the memory I got back with Freya yesterday didn't really help me at all, seeming that the memories I was recovering were mainly focused on hurting me deep inside of me, slowly taking apart what I'm trying to rebuild: my very life...my memories were coming back but some could make me appeased, some would take that role to destroy me, giving me revelations that I never thought to have but I couldn't fight that fact, they were coming back...but at what price? My sanity? My reason to fight?

The morning when I woke up, I was hoping to find Park on the side of the bed, dressing up in her clothes and giving me a beautiful sight to admire but when my eyes went open on the bed, looking in the direction she was always, she wasn't here at all...she wasn't here. That...it caused me to redress myself on the bed, panicked to that fact, the first time that I woke up alone...since I was in that cell...my arms were like shaking, trying to stop them with my hands, my state not well at all...

"Park?" I tried to call her out, looking around the room even if she wasn't here, gathering the strength I was having at the moment to get up from the bed. "Park?" I repeated, trying to catch my breath before starting to walk towards the door.

Even if I was awake, my vision wasn't actually recovering my sleep, seeing some things around the room blurred, including at some moments my own hands, impossible to look at them perfectly. It was like...something bad was kicking off back inside of me...as someone injected me a needle in the eyes, both at the same time and it prompted me to stop myself near the door as I was having my hands on the handle, blinking a lot with them.

It was slowly reestablishing itself but it wasn't perfect and even with that, I couldn't stay too much on my bare feet, half-dressed with nothing covering my legs and...I decided to open the door of the room to leave it and then, slowly walking inside the hallway of the apartment, linking almost every room of the place, crossing through a few pictures of Zasha, Portnova, Dedov...and me...

"Park?" I spoke up, walking in the direction of the living room, almost shouting out her name widely around, my walk looking like a brainless woman, dragging my bare feet on the ground. "Park?" I asked again, soon entering the living room, wanting to cry as my words weren't answered.

"Yirina," Someone talked in the room, it was Zasha's voice that was sitting on their chair near the diner table, getting up from it to approach. "Yirina, you're alright?" They questioned me, in front of me.

"Where's Park? Where is she?" I demanded, my panic coming back in my voice.

"Hey, calm down, calm down," They advised me, my head feeling dizzy, looking down on the ground as they put their hands on my wrists. "Come and have a seat," They said, making me move to get sit on my own chair at the dinner seat. "Here, slowly..." They guided me to sit down., keeping their hands on me as I was almost unresponsive in my moves.

"Thanks...thanks..." I breathed, my eyes narrowing as I could see with the part of my sight, Zasha going to sit next to me on the chair nearby. "Zed...where's Park?" I asked them.

"Wait, take deep breaths and stay calm above all," They suggested, moving along with their chair to stay near me, putting their hands above my heart and my neck, checking my pulse. "Shit, your heartbeat is very high," They commented, sounding astonished & worried.

"What's..." I was going to ask them what was wrong but I stopped myself, preferring to follow their advice to stay calm, feeling my heartbeat going faster than normal.

"Should calm you a bit," Zasha then moved their hands on the back of my own hands, starting to caressing it in a gentle & friendly way and it was seeming to work, their feeling starting to slow down my heartbeat. "It should be okay, how do you feel?" They questioned me, still caressing my hands in case.

"I'm...I'm better, I think," I told them, my heartbeat not beating like a jackhammer in my chest anymore but my vision wasn't the perfect thing now, still recovering very slowly. "Zed...where is...where is Park?"

"Park? She's not here," They replied to me, making me snort, already sensing a tear going to come out of my eyes. "I'm sorry but...she got to go to Century House in an emergency, it was looking like a big problem," They added, removing their hands from me.

"A problem? What kind of problem?" I asked, taking a breath to look in front of me, seeing an empty white plate with a pack of bread and a strawberry ham near it, making me hungry.

"I don't know, she didn't tell me and she wasn't told about it," They responded, raising their shoulders before they sense that I was going to grab the pack of bread, looking at me extend my right arm in its direction. "Wait, let me help," They proposed, not asking if it was okay for me, taking out of the pack two slices of bread before putting them next to the plate along with the jam that they opened for me.

"And Portnova?" I demanded, not having seen or heard her.

"She volunteered to go with Park earlier this morning as I decided to stay here to wait for you to wake up and see how you were," They revealed to me, my right hand struggling to actually grab up the knife that was near the empty plate as Zasha was looking at me.

"I'm okay, don't worry," I whispered, trying to reassuring them in a low voice as I was grabbing the knife in my hand to pass it inside the jam to put some strawberry on the bread, staying slow in moves. "I'm okay..." I repeated, putting the knife aside before slowly opening my mouth to eat a part of the bread with jam on it, the only thing that was nice in her if we didn't count my state.

"Yirina, you're still facing that breakdown...it's..." Zasha wanted to continue in their words before they stopped themself.

"I know, it's hard," I commented, putting my left arm on the table while holding the bread in my right hand. "Each night & day are the same things: going up, eat alone in the day, watching TV, take a rest, eat with you all, go to sleep with Park, and then, repeat," I resumed basically how my days were now to them.

"I'm sorry about this, we should be with you instead of going to work," They apologized to me, giving me a little smile on my face despite that I was still not well inside of me.

"Yes but...someone has to continue the fight, isn't that true?" I admitted, taking another bite of the bread. "I'm not in the shape to fight but you three are, not me," I continued, lamenting myself.

"But without you, it's...weird...not normal," Zasha avowed, looking at their hands. "Last day, I...stepped inside Park's office and...she was crying, I couldn't talk to her, she's...suffering..." They added, feeling bad in their voice and hearing that...it caused a tear to come out, the first one of the day.

"It's painful for me to hear that, it's not helping," I stated as I was no longer hungry to eat that bread in my hands, putting it back on the plate after eating half of it. "My life is only just a damn lie, the truth trying to show up but it can't," I snorted, passing my hand below my nose before looking at Zasha. "You're here for me, you, Park & Portnova, the only things that weren't a lie before everything,"

"I'm sorry, Yirina," They said, looking down at their feet. "We want you to be better, it's painful for us by a lot, I didn't see you like since a long time," They exclaimed.

"Really?" I looked at them with curiosity.

"Yeah but...I don't think that's a good idea to tell you that now," Zasha gently refused to tell me more even if it could help me to know more about me. "No, I can't tell you, I'm sorry,"  They insisted, having seen my face that wanted to know.

"Presuming that it's bad?" They sadly nodded at my sentence I said, causing me to sigh sadly away. "Resuming my whole fucking life: bad," I sighed for good, shaking my head. "Shot, brainwashed, shot again, having a coma, waking up 3 there years later, not the life I wanted but no choice to do it," I recalled, literally saying what brought me to live again now. "Was I even agreed to get out of it?"

"Yes, because you didn't deserve it at all," They replied, a little smile on their face, moving their right hand on the top of my right one too. "No one wanted this but by the odds, you came back to fulfill your promises, to honor them,"

"I'm doing it because this is what's my life now, protecting my friends & love from any dangers," I asserted, trying to sound positive to me, feeling some pain inside of my chest, causing me to get my left hand above it along with where the pain was. "And of course, I took the risk to rediscover how I was before I was left for dead for the first time," I continued.

"It must be hard for you, I'm sorry..." They apologized again before they decided to get up from their chair.

"It isn't something I don't want you to face, you don't want to see each day your life coming back, discovering with who you were friends with, who was your lover, how your life as a lie & went to shit, you don't want that," I claimed and they nodded at me, understanding that I couldn't let them face that situation in my life...no one can hurt them like that.

"No one wants to face that, no one," They muttered, checking up their hands before moving to grab the black jacket from their chair.

"You're leaving now?" I asked them.

"Yeah...I'm...I'm sorry but I would have like to stay here with you but I'm needed too," They responded to me, putting on their jacket.

"It's okay, I know what to do," I reassured them with a grin before they moved to grab their keys on the table near their empty plate. "I should be fine,"

"Fine," They whispered, walking towards the front door to unlock it. "If you need anything, call us, we'll come quickly," They reminded me about it and I nodded, the phone was just behind me near the main couch of the living room.

"Of course, I will," I muttered as Zasha opened the door widely, avoiding Beans that was going to get out, taking them in their arms.

"Hey, you stay here, can't take you at work, you know that," Zasha said, talking to Beans and holding her like a baby as I slowly got up from my chair, staying carefully to approach them. "Here, go with Yirina," Zasha then gently gave me Beans in my arms, now holding her.

"Don't worry, I'm taking care of her...or taking care of me," I scoffed in a funny tone, even surprising me.

"Okay, later, Yirina, take care & stay safe," Zasha waved at me, using my hands briefly to wave at them too before they closed the door after stepping out of the apartment, hearing the lock through the door, locking it.

I was now alone, ready to get myself into another day of loneliness inside the apartment, having Beans to accompany me in my loneliness despite that she couldn't talk, only hearing me telling her my problems, responding by little meows to me. I let her free softly on the ground before starting my day, going to clean up the diner table of the food that was still on it and the plates, gathering everything to put it back in the kitchen.

Once I was finished cleaning up the dishes, still having Beans around my feet with her meow, checking if she was good in terms of food & water, and filling her bowl for water after I found out that she was missing some, I decided to go inside our bedroom, wanting to get myself changed but that idea, I gave it up rapidly once I was inside the room, knowing that I wasn't going to get outside for a long time...badly...

I was going to leave the room until someone caught my attention on the nightstand of Park's side of the bed, looking like a little note that I wasn't able to see when I woke up this morning, prompting me to look at it and discovering what was marked on it: -Sorry to leave earlier, I was called by the MI6, got a problem to deal with, I'll try to call you today, be well & stay safe, love...- Park

That note was giving me a bit of comfort despite what was happening with her, she was making sure to inform me of why she wasn't going to be there when I will wake up, I shouldn't have panicked like that but...my head was still struggling to regain consciousness of the bloody situation. I then put back the note where it was before heading out of the room to get myself on the main couch of the living room.

There, instead of putting it on the TV to watch it, I wasn't really in the mood to actually look at it, causing me to lie down on the couch, crossing my arms, preferring in fact to already go have a big nap for the remainder of the morning before preparing my lunch for noon. As I was peacefully sleeping on the couch, I suddenly woke up at 11 AM by the sound of a phone ringing near me, causing me to take it.

"Yes?" I said, my voice trying to retrieve its energy.

"It's...me, Yiri...Park," It was Park herself through it, making me smile at hearing her voice now.

"Oh...Park, so nice to hear your voice," I commented, redressing myself on the couch to sit back on it perfectly, staying near the phone.

"Yes, me too," She affirmed, sounding low in her voice. "Listen, I'm sorry about this morning, we've got called and I had to leave quickly for Century House," She apologized, meaning it in the tone she was using.

"It's okay, what was the problem?" I asked her curiously after referring that it was good since I saw that note.

"It's...well, we got the news that Lukas Ritter and this I.B are in England, the MI5 spotted them in London but we lost their tracks since," She revealed to me as it was since days that we were all waiting for this to happen. "And another thing is that a part of Zasha's team's important files about Ritter & Petrov disappeared," She added.

"How's that?" I raised an eyebrow, looking at the shutdown TV.

"Apparently, someone managed to get in, steal those files, and got away without been seen, it happened last night," She replied to me.

"Shit," I cursed, putting my left hand on my face. "So, Perseus somehow succeeded to get inside Century House...fuck..." I cursed again, looking down at my bare feet, thinking about it.

"Yeah, that's pretty fucked up but...I shouldn't stress you too much now," She said, talking mostly about herself. "You're not in shape to work and stressing about it...no, I don't want it," She added, sure of herself

"At least, I'm...I'm aware of what happened," I told her, raising my shoulders and having a little grin forming on my face. "Is...is everything alright?" I asked her, remembering what Zasha told me hours ago

"Uhm...yeah, yeah," She responded but deep inside of me, I could sense the lie in her voice, finding it too hard to believe. "Okay...I'm not...I can't be right," She confessed to me, using the real tone she was hiding. "I'm looking at the seat you're using and...shit, I can't stand it to look at it without you on it for days, now," She affirmed, feeling that she was going to cry.

"I'm sorry, Park, I'm sorry," I apologized for my absence, blaming myself for it. "You would like to be with you but now..." I checked up myself before seeing my hands, my left one slowly trembling. "Uhm...Park..." I tried to say it as it was something that was weird and couldn't control, trying to wrap my right hand around it but it wasn't stopping. "Park!"

"What? What's wrong?" She asked me through the phone as my right hand was joining the shaking, my head trying to freak out.

"Come...come...I'm...shit...please..." I ordered before I inadvertently hang up the phone to its place, losing control of my hands.

In a panic, feared, I decided to got up from the couch, needing to join up my bed as I was feeling that I couldn't stay on the couch, trying to struggle to fight what was hurting me inside of my head, my chest hurting me and my heartbeat...starting to go faster like it did earlier this morning, no one able to calm it down as I was slowly walking towards our bedroom, needing to lay down.

Then, I started to hear voices inside my ears but it was impossible to actually recognize them perfectly, all muffled and talking at the same time with everyone...it was impossible to stop them, even my hands covering my ears weren't stopping as I was walking, leaned against the wall to find something to hold me back before I opened the door of the room, the voices becoming clear but still unrecognizable.

'You're one of us'...' You're belonging to us'...' We end the asset'...' You're going back home'...that what I was hearing clearly, trying to remember who tell what but now, I was trying to control myself until one clear voice came in...Stitch's voice, his own voice...in my head, getting louder & louder than the others...until he tells it...inside my head...

"We've got a job to do!" That is what I heard and at this moment, I couldn't resist anymore in my moves, causing me to fall on my back on the bed, starting to convulse on it, impossible to control it, my eyes slowly shutting as the only thing I was seeing in my sight...was Park herself storming in the room...impossible to see how she was...

It was impossible to see her too...and then, my eyes closed...

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