#I probably never will

[henry-fox-biggest-stan]

Art by @vkelleyart

Alex does the thing with his leg

So canon so true

#no I’m not over this fanart #I probably never will #when the collectors edition come out I will die #bury me and do not weep for me #know I died happy #rwrb #red white and royal blue #casey mcquiston #firstprince #alex claremont diaz #henry fox mountchristen windsor #red white & royal blue

[ikeepwatchinghelicopters]

Ignoring that homophobia exists (because it's all bullshit), let's imagine that Napoleon and Illya met a long time ago (maybe during the war, or, perhaps more realistically, during one of Napoleon's first missions for the CIA). They were young and in love and they got married in secret (now, when I'm thinking more about this, I realised that they could have met during the war and fell in love, but they didn't have enough time to develop a relationship, but then they met druing one of Napoleon's first CIA missions again and that's when they got married in some small, random European town). They planned to run away together, but with the Cold War and CIA and KGB in the way, they didn't manage to do it. Maybe they had to cease all contact for a few months to ease suspicions and make sure they wouldn't be discovered (just imagine all the angst and longing). Over the years, they maintained a long-distance relationship where they tried to communicate and meet as much as possible without arousing any suspicions. They were very good at it and the KGB and the CIA never had even the slightest idea.

And then the events in the movie happen. I think the espace from East Berlin would play out pretty much the same way it did in the movie. Them being married kind of gives Napoleon's line: "Somehow it just doesn't seem like the right thing to do," new context. I think that would 100% be his reaction when someone asks him if he doesn't want to shoot his secret husband. Also, imagine how much of self-control poor Illya had to exert to keep a poker face while he was being briefed about Napoleon by the KGB. I bet he really wanted to be like: "Please, can I have some of these photos of young Napoleon? For nostalgia's sake. He was so adorable." Also, also, Napoleon would feel pretty bad for dropping Illya in the minefield, but Illya forgives him after Napoleon bakes him a few cakes, satisfying Illya's sweet tooth.

And during their fight in the bathroom, they totally snuck in some kisses when Oleg and Sanders weren't paying too much attention. And their little exchange about who picks which lock ("I take top." "I'll take the bottom.") was definitely followed by a dirty joke from Napoleon. Also, Illya had to be so jealous and hurt when he heard Napoleon and Victoria together. Like, he rationally knows that Napoleon does honeypot missions and that he also has to keep up his womanizer persona, and it's not like he doubts Napoleon's love for him. He just never had to witness it so closely and it's painful. And this scenario also opens up the opportunity for lots of comforting after Napoleon gets rescued from Rudi, because he doesn't have to act like a tough spy, but he can be a bit vulnerable in front of his husband and let Illya fret over him (at least for bit; they still have a mission to complete afterall). I also imagine that Waverly acts like he is absolutely clueless about Illya and Napoleon's marriage, but in reality he knows about it, because he managed to find out when he was doing a background check on them before he hired them for UNCLE.

Now I really want to read a fic which is a rewrite of canon where Illya and Napoleon are secretly married.

#tmfu #napoleon solo #illya kuryakin #napollya #alexander waverly #fic idea #feel free to write the fic #i probably never will

[dcfanforever]

I've been wondering for a while if James Gunn was gonna, bring in just Damian or if there would be other members of the Batfam in the upcoming Batman: Brave and the Bold movie. I hadn't looked it before now, but I just did..

AND THEY ARE!!! FUCKING FINALLY!! I want Jason and Barbara and Dick and Tim and Stephanie and Cassandra and anyone else Gunn will allow!!!

#i would have added damian to the list of characters i want #but we know for a fact that he'll be in the movie #so i didn't feel the need for him to be on the list #damian wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #i still don't understand how he's okay with going by “dick” #i probably never will #why cant he just go by rick or richard or something? #tim drake #timothy drake #batfam #batfamily #my dreams might come true when batman: the brave and the bold comes to theaters #cassandra cain #spoiler #bruce wayne #batman #batman the brave and the bold #james gunn #robin #nightwing #luke fox should also be in this movie! #batwing #oracle #DC #DCU

[localdiscountgoth]

“hello. this is all so confusing

but who knew i had such a strong girl living under my roof this whole time?”

when i tell you i started sobbing

#the owl house #camila noceda #vee noceda #i had to pause and take a minute because oh my gosh that hit to close #i never came out to my parents #I probably never will #and heres this fictional mother scared shitless #and has never seen a demon before #and just accepting this child #telling them how brave they are and being so kind #and i want that #screaming crying throwing up #mommy issues #daddy issues #mommy and daddy issues #im a different breed of messed up baby

[avengerofyourheart]

*Me, an American scrolling through tumblr*

Me: what the….

Me: ….why—- oh right. Eurovision is a thing. I forgot.

#seriously what the fuck #😂😂😂😂 #i don’t understand #I probably never will #eurovision #have fun with that

[collaredkittyboy]

#meme #if you dont understand this you probably have really boring shitty sex #not sorry #oml one of my stupid vanilla friends is arguing with me about this #he says because top and dom usually coexist means theyre basicslly synonymous #no #hes dumb and if he didnt live in canada id punch him #thank god i never fucked this guy it would be so boring

[greykolla-art]

Charlie: “I’m so glad my most villain-coded friend is at full power again! 🥰💕”

*throws this to you angst goblins like raw steak* ❤️

(No I will not do a part 2!❤️)

#grey art #hazbin hotel comic #hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #hazbin alastor #alastor #auntie grey needs to take a nap now Jesus Christ #I’m really happy this fixation is pushing me to do grand comic projects like this- but I’m TIRED. #😂😂😂 #my theory is that alastor wants Charlie’s soul cause she’s insanely powerful or special #and she could probably take him out in one strike #but she would never do that cause she is so sweet and lovely #she’s like a gentle giant in terms of power #but she’s not stupid or childish or meek #she’s such a compassionate leader and good friend I love her so much #and then there’s alastor with his manipulative charismatic energy #I think he’ll underestimate her in the end #man i’m so tired #hazbin hotel fanart

[murderballadeer]

people are so weird about babies like calling them crotch goblins, reducing being a parent "letting someone cum in you" etc etc etc like those are tiny little humans you don't have to want to have any of your own but they are literally just small people & it's weird to constantly describe them in crude sexual terms and/or as subhuman

#it bugs me. like i'll probably never be a mom but i genuinely rly like kids including babies #& obv not everyone does & that's fine but like it weirds me out how crude people choose to be abt them #soapbox #suggestive

[mileshehimwhite]

oh god is this gonna be another situation where the americans complain about -33 while canadians are experiencing -55 and still have to go to work

#i never forgave you for how you reacted when the canadian forest fire smoke traveled to nyc #i probably never will

[lino-nyangi]

right now as we speak the IOF are kidnapping palestinian male civilians from the north of gaza in dozens, stripping them out of their clothes and shoes, blindfolding and lining them up. women and children are kicked to the south while men are taken hostage to military bases in israel. please continue to be loud about palestine.( x , x ) links contain images of events described above.

#do we realize how fucked up this is #i have no words #this is not making headlines and probably never will #they were taken from a UN SCHOOL SHELTER #palestine #free palestine #gaza

[ikeepwatchinghelicopters]

I need a 5+1 fic with 5 times Illya and Napoleon argue over who gets to drive and 1 time they don't. I imagine that when Gaby is not around, they can never decide on who gets to drive (I've also read fics with missing scenes where they're deciding about the vespa or about the van after the electrolution, so this idea is kind of inspired by them). Anyway, I imagine Illya'd be the I'm-the-better-driver kind of person, so he'd insist on driving even under ridiculous circumstances, like: "Cowboy' I'll drive." "Dammit, Peril, you were shot and currently are bleeding out. No way you are driving." Maybe, for a change, one situation could be when neither of them wants to drive for some reason (like the car is very crappy and unreliable, or maybe it's a car that Gaby was tinkering with exeprimentally and neither of them is sure whether it's really operational). And the +1 has so much angst potential. Like, they don't argue because one of them is unconscious and dying. Or one of them died some time ago and the other one is missing their arguments over who gets to drive (I usually never read major character death fics, so no idea where this came from). Or Gaby is injured and they have to take her to the hospital urgently, so they both know there's no time for arguments. It also has soms fluff potential, lol. For example, Gaby comes to pick Napoleon and Illya up after a mission, and they are both a little banged up and totally exhausted, so they just both get in the backseat without complaint and fall asleeping leaning against each other.

#tmfu #napoleon solo #illya kuryakin #napollya #fic idea #feel free to write the fic #i probably never will #i just have lots of ideas but never feel like writing them

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[ilovedthestars]

there really are few emotions i find more compelling in a story than "you should be afraid of me. please don't be afraid of me"

#this is why i will never forget that moment in Exit Strategy when Mensah grabs MB by the collar and tells it *No* #murderbot #this was also the core premise of a character in #my novel wip that shall remain unnamed #probably more characters i'm forgetting about #fun tropes #tropes #stars rambles

[yuneu]

every girl should be given a 6tb hard drive for free so she can store her little collection of illegally obtained 4k ultra hd movies

#gatherer genes etcetc #have i already made a post like this before. i probably have. ive never had an original thought in my life

[cosmicisbored]

#martin 100% fell for jon in this moment and never forgave himself for it #he was probably thinking this guys a fucking moron I want to kiss him so badly #tma #tma podcast #the magnus archives #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #jonmartin #jmart #art #sketch

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole