#I randomly started crying. Just felt so much sadness and anxiety and suddenly there are tears falling down my face.

[paige-fierce]

Ello ello

Oh how the TIMES have CHANGED. Let's go through a quickie review of my ever-evolving storyline since we last chatted...which was August 2023?

July-August 2023

Existential crisis is just forming, like a small acorn, dropped from a giant oak tree last autum, cozily nestled under just the right amount of earth...and try as I might to fight the feeling or burgeoning nihilistic turmoil and crippling self-doubt, nature finds a way *out bursts the first sprouting of a tree*

My deepest fear, that I wouldn't know shit about fuck at my new job has come true! I am surrounded by brilliant, kind, wonderful people who are so intimidating in their relevant-to-the-field accomplishments that I barely ask any questions for fear of revealing how much of a fool not only I am, but they have been for hiring me. My personality is all I have now...and that's starting to suffer as a result of basically everything else I post from now til December

My best friend (not drunk girl definition of best friend, but the proper definition of best friend akin to what is described in Aristotle's Nichomachean Ethics) goes off the handle in a way that is only worth diving into if I create a spin-off blog dedicated solely to that Game of Thrones-level plot twist that was without a doubt a significant effect modifier in my emotional and mental fissuring this side of 2023. Agnes and Tangerine by Glass Animals are played on repeat.

I cry almost every day on the train, sometimes going to Rotterdam, mostly on my way home after expertly compartmentalizing my like a bento box of emotions that I sample from throughout the day. After 5 pm is when the soy sauce (my salty tears) flows.

I attempt dating at the encouragement of my roommate, only to find it is fertilizer for the inner unrest eating away at the fibers of my morality.

I do, however, manage to make some friends along the way, in spite of my downward spiral

September 2023

I start Dutch classes as an attempt to quell my inner demons that are pressuring me to assimilate HARDER, better, FASTER, stronger (important note: no one is putting any pressure on me, just myself, per usual) ((now I am curious what the ratio of my accomplishments/successes/moments of overcoming adversity are results of high-functioning anxiety)) (((at the risk of my inner peace and sleep, I PERFORM)))

Work is very much a deep stressor of my life, though I have gotten better about vocating my need for clarity, which releases enough pressure on the valve attached to my sad/scared mind so that I do not explode.

I'm very sad about aforementioned best friend, but coping...we've stopped speaking but it's what I need in order to not be a puddle of weird leftovers from the craft store mixed with beer.

I'm finding it hard to talk to people in a way that's natural. I don't feel like myself. In fact I can't remember the last time I felt this unlike myself. I am so thin and sad...it's pathetic, and almost funny. She used to be mine by Sara Barielles plays on repeat.

I started going to therapy and she's amazing. Can I just become this woman? Is that part of her treatment? She is the stabalizing force I desperately need. Like a kindly-meant slap to the face for a poor sap babbling about nonsense, Marion brings me back to reality.

October 2023

Dutch is coming along fine...Ik denk?? Maar het is heel mogelijk to learn a new language while also learning a new job that essentially has its own language components (and if you count when I randomly use R, that is a language SO)

A reset in the progress with grief-fueled by BFF breakup. Fuck I'm sad.

Mom and godmother come to visit...mixed emotions. I'm not at my best therefore I treat my mom poorly. We have a very important but hard conversation surrounding that. All for the best. Getting old is weird, giving my mom advice is strange ?

I turn 29. Just fast forward me to 30, I'm over being in my 20s. I suddenly understand Jenna Rink's desire to fast forward from 13 to 30 based on the fictional magazine Poise's promotion of being 30, flirty, and thriving.

29, saltier than brine, and crying :,)

Everyone at work thinks I'm 22. I suppose I should be flattered, but it just encourages my suspicion/paranoia that they think I'm a simpleton and personality hire.

November 2023

Jesus this weather sucks. It's cold, it's rainy, and I should be writing melancholic poems or pulitzer winning prose in this kind of weather. Instead I'm NOT working out, I'm sleeping with an absolute fruitcake who brags his intimidation tactics at work and plans to get crown moulding put into his apartment (are you there god, it's me Paige)

I'm making friends with colleagues and other people! I suspect it's because I'm feeling like myself again...She's been lurking, coming out at random moments and surprising those around me. "who is this exotic creature, so odd yet fun, so nice yet blunt, she's attracti--wait what the fuck did she just do with her face?"

Have I mentioned I have a crush on a colleague? His face looks like it was carved by Michaelangelo, he dresses like someone with a good relationship with his parents, and is very serious but always cracks a smile at my jokes. Consequently, I am spinning out over my lust.

December 2023

Halfway through this ragged, damp, brisk month and I'm back in the US...

Somehow what sticks out to me most in the highlights of this month is the fun AF office Christmas party??? All the office personnel who I (very likely, incorrectly) perceived as having sticks up their billen (Dutch, look it up) let the walls comes down and the singing and dancing come out. Karaoke is the great unifier baybeeee

Annnnnnnnnd Florida for 2 weeks...that was nice, but why do I feel an inarticulable sense of dread? I am happy and a bit excited to go back to NL but but but something about seeing both my siblings families and their general stability is not sitting well with me.

[elles-writing]

.

#I randomly started crying. Just felt so much sadness and anxiety and suddenly there are tears falling down my face. #I don't feel like doing anything at all what am I even supposed to be doing when I am sick of most my hobbies #because I'm just at home all the time #but also anxious of going out and meet new people and i feel like I'd be behind in so many things when I'm almost eighteen #i don't know what to do

[batlingsstuff]

|| DREAM SMP HEADCANON|| Ranboo with Dementia

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

AYYY WHAT'S UP GUYS it's me :) i'm sorry this took so long to make, school is fxcking me over

okay okay now onto the headcanon

this will be pure angst, so be ready boys ;)

also, this is completely platonic.

insp: Everywhere at the End of Time - The Caretaker

TW/CW // anxiety, death, panic attacks, hallucinations, dementia

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

┌────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┐

GENDER NEUTRAL

└────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┘

✦ - STAGE ONE

at first everything was normal, you two were best friends and did basically everything together

he ocassionally forgot little things, like where he left his pickaxe and other stuff

it was harder for him to concentrate so you always were there for him to help him with everythimg, even just little things

and he appreciates it so much

then the behaviour changes, like suddenly getting more angry and/or impatient

and being more cheerful than usual

then the anxiety, he was always scared and one time he had a really bad panic attack

you were absolutely concerned about him and decided to take care of him

you never left his side

he always talked about how scared he was

and ranted for hours

until he forgot about his problems

✦ - STAGE TWO

everything stayed like that for two years, then he started forgetting major things, like people's names

one day you two went to visit your friend, jack manifold

he couldn't remember his name or who he was

you noticed there was something wrong with him, and decided to take him to several hospitals and clinics

after several check-ups you got the results

he was diagnosed with dementia

you cried for hours while he was sitting next to you patting your back, constantly asking why you were crying

he would ask the same question several times, making you cry harder

you moved in with him to make sure he was taking his meds

"why am i taking these, (y/n)?"

'for your own sake'

one day you took him to a walk around snowchester and he looked disorientated, not knowing what was that place

✦ - STAGE THREE

everything was worse, so much worse

he lost his memory book because he misplaced it somewhere, but you don't know where

he had trouble with speaking and stumbled with his words most of the time

tubbo, his platonical husband, came to visit every now and then to check up on ranboo

but ranboo forgot who was him

"your husband? haha oh no, i don't rem...ember getting engaged, i'm sorry."

"why are you crying?"

tubbo stopped visiting after that

he often had problem differentiating colours

one day he was so depressed that he couldn't get out of the bed for two days

after that, he seemed to have trouble recognizing you

'ranboo, it's me, your best friend (y/n)! don't you remember me ranboo? please remember.'

"i... don't know who you are... i'm sorry. i don't even r...ecall having a b-best friend."

you couldn't stop crying

your best friend was slowly losing his memories, and you couldn't do anything about it

i guess it's over, isn't it?

✦ - STAGE FOUR

his memory problems got so much worse, he forgot that water could actually damage him

he was curious about the rain, so he got out one day when it was raining and put out his hand to reach the droplets

he hissed in pain when the water damaged his skin and stormed back inside

hopefully you treated his wounds quickly and told him that it was better if he stayed in bed for now

while he was in bed and you were trying to get some rest besides him, he allucinated about a whole ass wave drowning him and he started to scream, like if he was in pain

you woke up due to the screaming and tried to calm him down, hugging him tightly and shushing him

he calmed down after a few minutes, sobbing loudly and returning the hug

he was scared, he didn't want to die

he couldn't talk at this point, every noise that came out of his mouth was incomprehensible, he was unable to communicate with others normally

you couldn't understand him, he couldn't understand you

your friendship was falling apart with the time

but afterall, you were there for him.

and that warmed his heart, even if he wasn't aware of that.

✦ - STAGE FIVE

he stayed up late multiple times, just watching you sleep or looking at the window, not able to think about anything

he felt like he was disconnecting from reality, like if his soul was slowly leaving his body

everything was foggy in his mind as he started to forget who was he, what was his name and occupation, who were his friends

who were his friends? is a question that he often asked himself

he looked at you one more time while he repeated that question simultaneously

"they're my friend."

he repeated that sentence several times, like if he was reassuring himself so he wouldn't forget that you were his friend.

he wrapped his arms around you while you slept, pulling you in a gentle hug

"thank you."

why was he thanking you? he felt like you were doing something important for him

but he couldn't remember what it was.

and that frustrated him, so he started sobbing uncontrollably

but he managed to calm himself down thanks to the relaxing sound of your heartbeat

he felt like he was dying slowly, but he didn't care about that

he had a friend who cared about him, and that's what matters to him.

✦ - STAGE SIX

ranboo was worse than ever, he forgot how to eat food properly and the basic movements of the mouth to do so

so you had to help him by gently moving his jaw up and down so he could munch the food

deep down his heart, he was thankful.

he didn't understand what was happening to him or who you were, but he knew that you were his friend.

he would randomly start crying, but it wasn't out of sadness

they were tears of joy

he was thankful that you were his friend

as no one else came to visit anymore

so he spend up his last years snuggling with you, always trying to remind himself that you were special.

and he loved you dearly, platonically speaking

✦ - STAGE SEVEN

ranboo couldn't even get out of bed as he forgot how to use his legs properly, not being able to walk

so you brought him food to his bedroom and started talking with him everyday and you didn't care anymore if he didn't answer you

you knew he wasn't able to speak anymore

you even stopped caring about your life, like work and friends

you wanted to spend every single minute with ranboo so he wouldn't be alone in his last days of life.

the days passed by slowly and one day everything ended abruptly.

ranboo forgot how to breathe, his body reacted roughly to the lack of oxygen and started moving his hand uncontrollably

you were beside him scared and paralyzed, watching how the life drained slowly from him

after what seemed to be like a few minutes, he stopped moving

he gasped loudly as he remembered everything; his name, his friends, his origins, his house, his cats, his crown, his husband, l'manberg, his memory book, you.

after that, he whispered his last words:

"(y/n)?"

and boom, he was gone.

gone from this world, forever.

you shaked him in horror, screaming his name multiple times as you cried.

your best friend was gone, and you couldn't do anything about it

so i guess this is it, huh?

✦ - AFTER RANBOO // BONUS

you hosted his funeral and everyone except dream was invited

everyone cried for him, they felt guilty as no one except you were there for him when he most needed it

tubbo was heartbroken, he was in denial and left the funeral early, probably gone to spend time with michael, his son

after that, everyone went home and you noticed that a strange book was lying in your house's entrance

you went to inspect what was it and noticed the book was dusty so you cleaned it to read what the title was

the title was 'DO NOT READ'', you recognized that book as ranboo's memory book

you gasped and stormed inside the house to read it

you sat on a couch and flipped the first page, reading carefully every single page and making sure you didn't skip anything

while you were reading, a small note was found in one of the pages and you started reading it, noticing that his handwriting was more messy than usual

it read: "Hello, if you're reading this then this is embarrassing. I wanted to write out my feelings in this small note because I was scared to talk out this with (Y/N). The thing is: I'm scared. I've been losing my memories and it's scary, I'm scared of forgetting who am I or who are my friends, I don't want to lose them. I know I promised Tubbo and Michael that I would protect them, but I'm not sure if I can keep that promise anymore. Tubbo if you're reading this, I'm sorry, for everything. Things seem to go downhill everytime I forget about things, even if they're just small things like forgetting where is my crown, and I'm scared that I will eventually forget who are my friends. I don't want to lose (Y/N), they're my best friend and I'm not ready to lose them yet. I know it sounds stupid but I just wanted to write about how I feel, goodbye forever Memory Book."

oh no, you were sobbing again.

"why didn't you tell me sooner, ranboo?"

"why?"

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

IT'S FINISHED, FINALLYYyyY Yy YY yes i love angst i love making people suffer

ANYWAYS thank you if you readed all of that shit, also big thanks to my friend moony for helping me with the grammar since i don't do english

moony if you're seeing this i love you /p

ANYWAYS THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!! I REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!!!

#ranboo x reader #ranboo #dream smp #headcanons #everywhere at the end of time #dementia #mcyt #angst #angst fic #eateot #NOO SHIT I FORGOT MY HOMEWORK

[hyeonbun]

gone

↠ prompt; you listen to her song after the breakup 

↠ group; blackpink

↠ pairings; rosé x female reader (main), jennie x female reader

↠ genre; angst

↠ content; a breakup with no happy ending

↠ word count; 3.2k

“Hey baby.” Chaeyoung greets you by putting her arms around your waist and giving you a back hug. “Whatcha doing?” She says in a sing-song voice while resting her head on your shoulder. You couldn’t help but smile at how cute she is.

“Just getting a few textbooks out of my locker.” You answer while pulling out two books that were buried in the back of your locker. Once you were done getting the stuff you needed for your homework out of your locker, you close it shut and put your bookbag back on your shoulders. It was the end of the school day and you couldn’t wait to leave this depressing place.

“Yay! Let’s go!” Chaeyoung claps excitedly and grabs your hand so that you could hold hands while walking down the halls. As you are walking you notice your best friend Jennie, who appears to be upset. She accidentally makes eye contact with you and then quickly looks away. Although you were confused, you decided to just brush it off anyways because she was probably just having a bad day.

…

“So what are we going to do for this project?” You ask Chaeyoung, followed by a long sigh. Neither of you were looking forward to this project considering it is worth half of your final grade.

“I’m already stressed out. How about we take a little break first?” Chaeyoung suggests and you notice the mischievous smile on her face.

“But we haven’t even started yet.” You interject, already anticipating her next move.

“I know. We can worry about it later.” She assures you, causing you to nod in response. She grabs you by the hand with a smirk on her face and leads you over to her bed.

Chaeyoung motions you to lay down, and you follow her command. Your face starts to heat up as she straddles you and she notices how flustered you are. The look in her eyes tells you everything that’s going on in her mind. Next thing you know, her face gets closer to yours and she’s pressing her lips against your lips. You feel her smile into the kiss which subconsciously causes you to do the same.

The kiss deepens as she slips her tongue past your lips. Your hands end up tangled in her hair while one of her hands slides up the bottom of your shirt. Your tongues battle for dominance and you can feel yourself melting at her touch. In this moment, all you wanted was her. 

“Hey bestie!” Lisa enthusiastically says while barging into the room. She stops in her tracks after seeing the both of you. You and Chaeyoung look at her like a deer caught in headlights. “Oh… I think I interrupted something… I’ll leave you guys to it then.” Lisa continues as she awkwardly starts backing out of the room and closes the door behind her. 

“I forgot that she has a key to my house.” Chaeyoung mentions with a horrified look on her face. “I also probably should have told her that we were working on a project today.” You simply nod in response, still embarrassed by the whole situation.

“Maybe we should get back to working on the project now.” You comment and she nods in agreement.

…

After returning home later that night, you check your phone to see a few missed texts from Jennie.

J: We need to talk

J: Please facetime me when you get the chance

You read the texts over again and ponder the situation. You had no idea what these messages could be about. Jennie has never randomly sent you texts with a serious tone like this before. You tap on her contact and hesitate for a few seconds but ultimately decide to press the facetime button.

Jennie picks up almost immediately, looking extremely distraught. You notice she has bags under her eyes and her mascara is all smudged. She hurriedly wipes away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. You give her a sympathetic look and she takes a deep breath before speaking.

“I really don’t know how to say this.” She admits and begins fidgeting with her hands.

“I promise you can tell me anything, it’s okay.” You try to comfort her, earning a sniffle in response. You watch her attentively as she looks down at her lap before deciding to speak again.

“Well… I-I’m in love with you. I feel really guilty for doing this right now because you are in a relationship with Chaeyoung but I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to let it out. I’m sorry.” She confesses and instantly ends the call, leaving you to stare at her contact in total shock. 

After all this time, you couldn’t believe that the person you’ve had a crush on for the past four years just confessed to you. It came out of nowhere. At this moment, you didn’t know how to feel. You felt everything and nothing simultaneously. Deep down, you had feelings for Jennie this whole entire time. None of this was making sense because you were almost 100% positive that she didn’t like you back. As much as you love Chaeyoung, you knew you couldn’t deny the way Jennie has made you feel all of these years. 

The more and more you thought about this situation the more it hit you. You felt sick to your stomach with anxiety. Jennie liked you all along. After all, she was always there to help you and look out for you when you needed it the most. 

Memories start resurfacing and you start feeling even more overwhelmed. There was that one time where you decided to go to a party and got blackout drunk and she made sure you were safe the entire time and even took you home. You also remember that time you had a midterm exam where you knew none of the content and she went out of her way to help you study so you would pass. A year ago when you got your heart absolutely broken by one of your exes, she consoled you and was a shoulder to cry on.

As you look back on all of your memories with Jennie, it felt like you fell in love with her all over again. After burying your feelings for her for so long, they only came back stronger. You can’t help but to feel guilty now that you know she likes you back. Your phone vibrates in your hand and you brace yourself before looking at it.

C: goodnight baby i love you sososo much ❤

Your heart drops as you read the text from your girlfriend. Why did this situation have to be so complicated? You wonder why Jennie couldn’t just confess before when you were actually single. Now you just feel extremely guilty for thinking about being with Jennie.

You: goodnight i love you too 😊

You set your phone down on the table next to your bed and let out a deep sigh. Maybe you should just go to sleep. You hope that this is some kind of messed up dream and that when you wake up none of it will have happened and you’ll feel normal again. You get ready for bed and lay down. Your anxiety keeps you up for a little bit longer than expected, but eventually you drift off into sleep. 

...

Your obnoxiously loud alarm wakes you up in the morning. As much as you want to hit snooze, you realize you have to pick Chaeyoung up and take her to school with you. Suddenly the memories of last night hit you out of nowhere. You remember what Jennie said and you just now realize that you didn’t even send her a message after. To be fair, you had no idea what to tell her. How would you tell her that you liked her back while being in a relationship with Chaeyoung? Reluctantly, you got ready for the day and grabbed your bookbag.

You: i’ll be there in 5

You watch as Chaeyoung walks out the door and happily skips towards your car. She gets in your car and cutely smiles at you. An intense feeling of guilt washes over you, but you force a smile back at her anyways. You spend most of the car ride thinking about the situation and you don’t even realize it until Chaeyoung speaks up. 

“What’s wrong?” Chaeyoung asks out of concern, noticing you’ve been silent the whole time. “It’s not like you to be this quiet.” She adds on, causing you to become increasingly nervous.

“I promise it’s nothing serious.” You lie with a hint of sadness laced in your voice.

“Are you sure?” She questions after hearing your tone. “You know you can always talk to me about anything.” She reassures you, yet it only makes you feel worse.

The truth is you are in love with Jennie and Chaeyoung has no idea. You didn’t have a plan for how you were going to resolve the situation. On one hand you’ll break Jennie’s heart, but on the other you’ll break Chaeyoung’s heart. You knew it had to be one or the other. There was no way you could talk to Chaeyoung about it because you know that will break her. 

“Yeah I’m sure.” You answer, and notice her slowly nodding in response. After what feels like forever, you both finally arrive at school. Chaeyoung holds your hand as the two of you walk through the doors and through the halls. 

While walking past, you glance over at Jennie’s locker and feel your stomach drop. You notice Jisoo hugging Jennie as she cries into the older girl’s shoulder. Jisoo was trying to console her. You know exactly why she is crying and you know that it’s all your fault. You should have sent her a message. 

“I can’t do this anymore.” You accidentally mutter out loud, causing Chaeyoung to quickly turn her head to look at you. 

“Can’t do what anymore?” She questions with furrowed eyebrows. You feel all the color drain from your face.

“This relationship. I’m sorry.” You burst out impulsively, completely shocked by your own words. You begin to panic so you immediately bolt to the nearest restroom.

Once inside, you let out a huge sigh and aggressively throw your bookbag on the floor out of anger. You couldn’t believe that you just did that, it completely slipped out of your mouth. You sit down on the bathroom floor and place your head in your hands. Your anxiety starts to take over once you realize that not only have you caused Jennie to cry so much but now you just broke Chaeyoung’s heart. Tears begin to fall from your eyes. 

The door suddenly bursts open, causing you to jump in your spot. Of course it was the last person you needed to see right now. 

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jennie cries out in confusion and takes a seat next to you on the floor.

“I just broke up with Chaeyoung.” You completely break down while hiding your face in your arms. 

“Oh no… why did you do that?” Jennie asks followed by some sniffles. “You didn’t have to do that. I didn’t expect any of this to happen. I feel awful now.” She rambles while sobbing. 

Instinctively, you put your arm around her and pull her closer to you. She lays her head on your shoulder and your heart flutters despite all of the heavy guilt. The both of you stay just like that for a while, crying in silence. The bell for class rings but neither of you dare to move. 

“I’m sorry for not messaging you last night.” You speak up after minutes of silence. “I saw you crying in the hallway when I came in and it hit me.”

“Honestly, I was just an anxious mess. I was crying mainly because I regretted doing that. I also felt selfish because I knew you had a girlfriend but decided to confess to you anyways. It also struck me that you didn’t like me back.” She admits her feelings with a sigh.

“Who said I didn’t like you back?” You ask, causing her to go silent for a few moments.

“Do you like me back?” She questions and moves her head from your shoulder to look at you. 

“Yes. I’ve liked you this whole time, since the day we met.” You confess while looking in her eyes.

“Is that why you broke up with Chaeyoung?” She asks for confirmation and you nod your head in response. “So what now?” She wonders, causing you to shrug your shoulders.

You make eye contact with her and notice the way she is looking at you. There is nothing but love and admiration in her eyes. Both of you get lost in each other’s eyes and in the moment. One thing leads to another and she closes her eyes and starts leaning in, so you do the same and your lips connect.  

You felt so many overwhelmingly good feelings at once. Not only was your heart pounding out of your chest but there were also butterflies in your stomach. This was absolute bliss. She eventually pulls away and looks at you with that heartwarming smile. Her contagious smile causes you to smile too. 

…

A few hours pass and you dreadfully enter the class you share with Chaeyoung. You feel so guilty and you know that seeing each other’s face would cause so much pain for the both of you. Minutes pass and the bell rings, yet Chaeyoung has still not walked through the door. For the entire duration of the class, you anxiously watch the door but she never shows up. Extreme guilt hits you again as you realize she ditched class because that is something she has never done. 

Before you know it, the school day is finally over and you somehow made it through. You walk to your locker to grab a few things although you already planned on doing nothing school-related for the rest of the day.

“What happened with Chaeyoung?” Jisoo suddenly approaches you, searching for answers.

“I could ask the same thing. She never showed up to the class I have with her.” You nervously inform her, trying to avoid the actual question at all costs. Jennie didn’t mention anything that happened between the two of you to Jisoo which is odd.

“Well earlier this morning before class started she ran out the doors crying. Everyone watched her.” Jisoo tells you, making your anxiety act up.

You start to assume the worst of this situation. Right now she’s probably somewhere crying her heart out all because of your selfishness. Earlier when she ran out crying, you were busy kissing and talking to Jennie. This realization made you feel like an awful person. However,  you were filled with so many conflicting feelings that it felt like there was no right answer. You didn’t realize you were lost in your thoughts until you noticed Jisoo looking at you expectantly.

“Who drove her home?” You ask her hesitantly, not knowing whether she knew the answer.

“I assume Lisa did. Lisa didn’t show up to any of the classes we have together but I saw her earlier this morning.” Jisoo answers and you simply nod your head in response. 

…

When you got home later on, you debated whether or not you should talk to Chaeyoung. You knew that it would probably make things worse if you did. Not only were the emotions and tension high, but you also knew that you were the last person she’d want to talk to right now. After staring at her contact picture for a few minutes, you decide against it and set your phone down. You lay on your bed and instantly get reminded of yesterday and how happy the both of you were while making out. You had no idea how you’d ever feel better about this situation or how you would get over it.

…

A month has passed since your break up with Chaeyoung and things have changed drastically. You’re currently the happiest you’ve ever been with your girlfriend, Jennie. All of the guilty feelings and emotional wounds have since healed and disappeared. Nowadays, you have no idea how Chaeyoung feels because you haven’t talked to her since the day you broke up. You eventually realized that there was no time to dwell on the past so you stopped worrying about her. 

It was currently lunchtime and you sat down at your usual spot at the lunch table in the corner. Since you were early, you watched as everyone else poured into the cafeteria. You see Jisoo sprinting over to your table and you assume she’s just eager to eat her lunch, but she has no lunch with her. 

“You need to see this right now.” Jisoo declares out of breath while shoving her phone into your hand. 

You look at the screen and realize it’s a three minute video that includes Chaeyoung and her guitar. Hesitantly, you unpause the video and you were not prepared at all for what was about to come. 

I thought that you remember

but it seems that you forgot

It’s hard for me to blame you

when you were already lost oh yeah

Your heart sinks from hearing the pain in her voice as she sings.

I gave you all of me now you don’t

Want to be involved oh yeah yeah

I really gotta face it oh yeah yeah

It was only the beginning of the song but you didn’t know how much more you could handle.

I just wanna be the one

But to you we’re already done

Tell me why’d you have to hit and run me

Now I’m all alone crying ugly

You broke my heart just for fun

Took my love and just left me numb

All the painful feelings were starting to resurface. Finally hearing her side made you realize how much you hurt her. 

Another story that’s sad and true

I can feel the pain can you

You had to be the one to let me down

To color me blue

There was no denying that the song was definitely about you.

Hate to see you with someone new

I’ll put a curse on her and you

Ain’t no looking back

Now you’re dead and gone

My love is gone too

She knew that Jennie was the reason you broke up with her.

All my love is gone

All my love is gone

All my love is gone

All my love is gone

Now you’re dead and gone

You feel more and more anxious as the song goes on.

All my love is gone

And the hate has grown

Standing all alone and

I’m searching for something

But I can’t feel nothin’

I pack my bags and go

You broke her. You are the reason she feels this way. All because of your selfishness.

This don’t feel like home

Too much darkness for a rainbow

I feel so used

How am I supposed to live without you

I refuse yeah

Although you feel guilty, you can’t help but notice those last two lines especially. You begin to wonder if she still loves you deep down. As the last few verses were sung and the song ended, you didn’t even notice the tears falling down your cheeks until Jisoo points it out. All the progress you made was destroyed. 

You broke her heart and you were just going to have to live with that fact.

#blackpink scenarios #girl group scenarios #rosé scenarios #rosé scenario #kpop scenarios #imagine #blackpink #rosé #park chaeyoung #blackpink rosé #rose scenarios #rose #blackpink rose #rose scenario #blackpink imagines #rose imagines #rosé imagines

[changkyunswifey]

i will always be there l im changkyun

wc: 1,4k

request: //

genre: angst angst angst, suggestive ( I don't think it is too explicit but if you think so, send me an ask so I can change the category !)

pairing: changkyun x gn!reader

contains: breaking up with changkyun also means breaking your own heart -

a/n: i’m sorry about the angst but i’m in my feels and in need for a good cry (or a hug i don’t know -)

Everything was now clear in your head.

You got up from the couch and headed to your bedroom where Changkyun was working.

"Kyun ?”  you called with a steady voice

“Yes baby ?” he turned around to face you with his signature smile, your heart slowly breaking knowing what was about to happen.

“Could you join me in the living room when you'll be done? I have to talk to you.” you asked looking at his every features, memorizing every expression lines on his smiley face.

“Yeah sure, give me a sec!" he replied as you started walking back to the couch in your living room.

After 5 minutes he finally showed up and sat down next to you.

A long silence took place.

You were looking down at your feet when suddenly, he spoke :

"So, what do you wanted to talk about?” he attempted to ease the obvious tension that was surrounding the both of you. You remained silent.

“Baby, you can tell me everything, okay?” he said gently, looking for your eyes hidden by a few strands of hair.

“I... I think we should break up.” you finally spoke.

“That's - Wait.. What?", his voice started to shake, he was so taken aback by your statement, he thought everything was going well between you two, he thought you were happy with him, he was just so confused and he couldn’t help but let himself be overwhelmed by anxiety and worry.

" Why are you saying that baby?” he asked, hoping he didn’t understand well.

“Listen.. Kyun. When I met you.. I said I wasn't doing relationship but you made me change my mind, you made me fell in love with you. You made me the happiest being on earth and I'm thankful for that but I need more than this.”

“I don’t get it. What are-” you cuted him off, tears starting to fill your eyes. 

“Let me finish please.” he simply nodded silently. “The more the time was passing by, the more I knew I was going to need more. I used to be free as the wind, but now, now that I have you with me, I need some comfort. I need my little home. I need to be able to come back home from a tiring day to my wonderful boyfriend laying on the couch watching a crappy TV show wearing his warmest hoodie and sweats with the messiest hair possible” you stated letting out a small chuckle “but I don't want to stay alone until my boyfriend decide to show up randomly at my door at 3 in the morning because he just left the studio.”

“I'm so sorry Y/N” was all Changkyun managed to say.

“No no! Don't apologize. Please Kyun. Don’t." you pleaded the man that was sitting next to you, now looking down.

You got on your knees in front of him, taking his hands in yours, trying to find his eyes hidden behind the long hair on his forehead. You continued :

"It is not your fault Changkyun. It will never be your fault. I am the one who is sorry... Please.. Look at me." You begged when he finally look at you with a faded smile and watery eyes, in a blink, all your tears started to flow out.

"I - I love you Changkyun. I love you so much I can’t believe how it is even possible. I am sorry things are ending like this but - I will wait for you. When you will have time, when you will be ready to settle down, we will have that little home okay? I will always be there, I promise."

Without thinking, you moved your hands from his hands to his face and kissed him.

This kiss was passionate, desperate, burning but mostly sad, it left a bitter taste on your lips.

Just like the first kiss you shared with him.

And here you were, in bed with him caressing every inch of your body with his hands, breathing heavily against your neck as he tries to express how much he loves you. 

Your body responded in the most beautiful way possible, your lips brushing against his own, a hand tangled in his hair, tugging at the roots every now and then, not failing to earn a grunt from the man above you, while the other one was resting somewhere along the expanse of his bare back, blindly tracing the lines of his tattoo that you loved to admire so much every night.

Light moans and sights were escaping each other's lips in between desperate and passionate kisses, the spark you always felt within you never disappeared, the burning passion was heating your skin, the atmosphere of the room now heavier than ever.

He pulled away and trailed kisses up from your jaw to your neck and collarbones, creating love bites almost of a plum color on the bare skin to print the adoration and ever so deep love he has for you.

He went back to kiss you, his tongue skillfully slipping past your lips, slowing his movements, caressing your waist before letting one of his hand rest on your hips.

After a while, you found yourself laying your head on his bare chest, breathing heavily, growing tired from your passionate love session.

Memories were flowing through your mind as your started to feel your vision become blurry when suddenly, Changkyun started to move, as if he wanted to get up, without even thinking, you stopped him :

"Please.. Don't leave.. Stay.. Just a little more.. Please." you begged, holding on your sobs.

And much to your surprise, he complied.

A few minutes passed by and you wanted to see his face, to look into his eyes, you could feel one of his hand patting your hair gently as his eyes were lingering on you but, when you started to raise your head, he pulled you back into his chest, pressing you tightly against him.

You wondered why he did that until you heard his breath becoming shaky. Then, you understood.

He was crying, he pulled you into his chest so you couldn't see him cry, you had never heard him cry before and it made everything so much worse than it already was.

You knew it was hurting him as much as it was hurting you, so you didn't do anything, you just let him hold you, wrapping in his arms, surrounding by the warmth of his body.

Slowly you drifted to sleep, hugging your - now - ex boyfriend tightly, tears filling your eyes.

You woke up a few hours later and something felt different.

And you knew it was it.

He left, he wasn't here anymore.

You looked around and saw that he took all the stuffs he was usually letting in your bedroom for when he was sleeping over.

Even if you were the one who ended things, you couldn't believe it was over.

You weakly got up, holding the covers over your body not wanting to bother finding clothes and walk until you reach the large window in your living room. It was your favorite place to watch the stars with him.

You sat on the floor, looking at the dark sky, there wasn't any star tonight.

It was all dark, like your home, the only light was coming from down the street.

You took your phone that was on the coffee table near you and look at the time and saw it was 3 AM.

You looked at the door, knowing it was usually the time he was showing up at your place but, remembering all the events of this night, you covered your face with your hands and cried all the tears you had left.

You then took your phone, reach for his contact and simply wrote :

‘I will always be there, I promise.’

After a few minutes that felt like an eternity, you gave a last look at you screen only to realize he had seen your message but did not reply, so you reluctantly blocked his number before crawling onto your couch and closed your eyes, hoping to find sleep again and forget about everything that happened tonight.

While you were sleeping, you received a message from Changkyun that could’ve changed it all but which you will never see.

‘I will always love you, I promise. ‘

#monsta x imagines #monsta x scenarios #monsta x angst #monsta x smut #monsta x changkyun #changkyun imagines #changkyun scenarios #changkyun x reader

[living-with-pmd]

11 Women With PMDD Share What It's Really Like

Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is the evil cousin of PMS. They share the same types of symptoms—moodiness, increased hunger, cravings, fatigue, cramps, pain, brain fog, and depression, among others—but for PMDD sufferers, those symptoms get so bad they can cripple a woman's ability to lead a normal life.  

While up to 85 percent of women get PMS, according to the US Department of Health, only about 5 percent of women experience PMDD, according to the American Journal of Psychiatry.

We asked women with PMDD what it's really like living with the disorder. Here are their stories:

"I was diagnosed with PMDD last summer. Six months prior to my diagnosis, I started taking a certain birth control and soon every month I was experiencing severe PMS issues. I am a generally happy person, but during those few days I was someone entirely different. I was extremely depressed and anxious, having much more frequent panic attacks, and was super sensitive and lonely. I was even suicidal, which was terrifying. And the worst part was I was convinced that I had always been this miserable, and that I would always be this miserable, and it was never going to change. It felt as if someone had completely burned out the light in me and all happiness and joy and hope was gone. I didn't make the connection that it was related to my period but thankfully a close friend did. I have since switched birth control, which helped a lot, and increased the dosage of my anti-anxiety and anti-depressant meds. Most importantly, I am aware of the way I feel those few days so I know to expect it, and I can logically remind myself that I will stop feeling that way soon. Looking back, I realize that I've probably always had pretty bad PMS or PMDD. The birth control worsened it but it was also causing a lot of issues I wasn't aware of previously as well." —Katherine H., 22, Edmonds, WA

———————————

"PMDD is out of control. I cry really easily for about a week. My biggest issue is that I am convinced that I am failing at everything—being a wife, a mom, work projects, fitness, my whole life! And even though it feels so real I constantly have to question if my feelings are valid or if they are amplified by my cycle. I just set an alert in my phone to remind me to consider my hormones the next time I feel that way." —Krysten B., 32, Toronto, CA

———————————

"A week before my period, I become a complete psycho, completely unlike myself. I'm tearful, want to eat everything that's sweet or salty, have absolutely no tolerance for anything other than perfection, and prefer to be left completely alone. I already take an antidepressant but my PMDD was a complete nightmare so my doctor gave me Prozac to take for just 10 days a month. Basically, I start it when I start to get that irrational feeling and keeping taking it until my period starts. And that's just the emotional stuff. On the physical side, I have debilitating cramps, backaches, and headaches that last for days. Yep. I'm a peach." —Kristen L., 40, Knoxville, TN

———————————

"In the past, PMDD almost made me suicidal and totally broke my spirit. Yes it wasthat bad. Every month. Eventually I got tired of being a 'crazy PMS woman' and decided I needed to fix this. Since I don't like to take pharmaceuticals, I branched out to homeopathic remedies and I discovered St. John's Wort and essential oils, especially clary sage and Doterra Calm-Its. It's a lot better now but I still have my hard days." —Amy S., 43, Zebulon, NC

———————————

"My PMDD got so bad I had to go to a psychiatrist and be put on Prozac along with another antidepressant I was already taking. I was a mess—anxious, crying randomly over the smallest thing, and eating everything in sight. One example is someone made a YouTube mashup of the Age of Ultron trailers with Pinocchio footage and the 'I've got no strings on me' song and that wrecked me for weeks. Every time I thought about scenes from Pinocchio I would start panicking and crying at my work desk. It's been a few years and I'm better now. I'm off birth control and weening myself off the Prozac. I notice a week before my period I will sob during any sad part in a movie or book I'm reading, and a day or two before, I notice I'm more likely to be anxious." —Kate W., 36, Alaska

———————————

"This has impacted my ability to work effectively. My pet peeve is when people say 'it must be close to your time of the month' when they simply don't like what I'm saying. I have run into that problem a lot at previous jobs and it makes it really hard to be taken seriously. It's bullshit because my feelings are valid regardless and also PMDD is not a joke. I am so lucky now to have a male boss who understands but it wasn't always that way. I have also have found a lot of relief with naturopathic and herbal remedies." —Amalia F., 28, Vancouver, Canada

———————————

"My PMS was tolerable until my second child was born and then everything went off the rails. I'd be looking forward to plans with others, happy, and then about 10 to 14 days before my flow would start, my mood would turn on a dime. I'd be horrible—crying, screaming that ~nobody understands~, just so much emotional pain. I'd basically lock myself up in the bedroom for a full day to cry, get angry, and feel sorry for myself. It took three doctors before I finally found one who would listen to me before I was finally diagnosed with PMDD. I took Prozac for three years for it but it made me feel numb, like a zombie and not like myself. So I quit and my family just deals with me now. As I've gotten closer to menopause the PMDD is not as bad, but can be very unpredictable due to hormonal swings from perimenopause. The worst part now is I feel like my friendships have suffered. I always seem to have episodes around major holidays and events and I end up bumming everyone out if I do show up so I end up staying home a lot." —Colleen T., 50, St. Paul, MN

———————————

"I'm overly emotional for the week before my period. Saying that makes it sound like it's not that bad but I get so distraught that my fiance has actually scheduled it in his phone as 'blood sport' to remind himself what's coming. I'm thankful that he's patient because I also feel like everyone hates me that week, too." —Kenlie T., 36, New Orleans, LA

———————————

"All month long I'm fine and feel even and calm and then suddenly, the week before my period, I can't handle even the tiniest little thing. My irritability goes through the roof (which is not great since I have a 5-year-old) and I feel like I have no friends. It really makes me sad." —Jessica S., 28, Broomfield, CO

———————————

"I know my period is coming because all of a sudden all of my joints hurt, especially my knees and ankles. I also get crazy gnarly cramps and once I even had a cyst that ruptured while I was on a date and the guy had to take me to the hospital! It was so embarrassing. Thankfully my husband now is very understanding when this time rolls around each month. The worst part is people who just think I make this stuff up. Some months are better than others and sometimes the pain is completely debilitating! My emotions are also a rollercoaster. Anytime I see something cute or inspiring, I burst into tears." —Ivie C., 21, Rexburg, ID

———————————

"My PMDD manifests in both mental and physical symptoms. From the time I got my period at age 12, I've had extreme cramps and heavy bleeding. I'd leak at school through a super maxi pad every class so I'd tie sweatshirts around my waist and have to scrub my clothes when I got home. It was super humiliating. I'd have to take six to eight ibuprofen at a time to deal with cramps, and if I didn't I'd end up on the floor sweating like I had the flu. Sometimes I'd even throw up. This meant I ended up spending a lot of time sick in bathrooms and knew where every restroom was at all times. Birth control helped manage the PMDD and other issues, but as soon as I was done having kids, I had a hysterectomy. That was the best thing I've ever done." —Mandy P., 39, Mendon, UT

https://www.womenshealthmag.com/health/a19972132/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder/

#premenstrual dysphoric disorder #PMDD #pmdd awareness #living with pmdd #actually pmdd #mental health awareness #mental health #women's health #pms #premenstrual syndrome #afab problems

[arigatouiris]

chasing lights // tsukishima kei x reader

Author’s Note: My country’s been on lockdown for close to a month now and my mind is fried. I haven’t been productive, anxiety has been off the charts so I started watching Haikyuu to ease the tension in my head. Also, the fact that I haven’t been active on tumblr makes me sad, but help a writer out a bit and tell me what you think? You have no idea how strong your comments are. Thanks ya’ll. 

Word count: 2598

Pairing: (soft?) Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Warnings: slight angst to fluff, angsty thoughts, mentions of insecurity

There wasn’t a lot of things Tsukishima Kei regretted in his life. 

Maybe, he sometimes regretted the repressed anger he sometimes showed towards his brother, and sometimes he regretted snapping at his friends (or Tadashi, because let’s face it, he doesn’t easily consider a lot of people his friends). However, one of the biggest things Tsukishima Kei regretted just before entering high school was rejecting your confession.

It had been an entire semester post your final year at middle school. You were close friends with Tadashi, and since it had been a whole year being friends with him, you were introduced to his rather cold and standoffish friend, Kei, in your second year of middle school. You immediately took a liking to this boy, who seemed a challenge in your eyes, not backing down with how unapologetically original he seemed to be. Tsukishima Kei was one of those people you wouldn’t worry about lying to you, because he just didn’t do that sort of thing. 

But, seems like you misstepped when your confession reached the hard end of the stick. Your eyes were wide as Tsukishima clicked his tongue and called it almost moronic to have feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same. He didn’t explicitly say he didn’t like you back, but ridiculed the entire ordeal of it. 

     “I can’t believe... No, as a matter of fact, I can believe that you’d say something like this, Tsukki.” 

Your words haunt him till date. 

He was now in High School, and as fate would allow it (or punish him, for that matter), you were there too. Tadashi never spoke a word in edgewise at how ruined your relationship was with Tsukishima, but left matters to how they should be. 

The fact of the matter was this and it was fairly simple: Tsukishima Kei was borderline obsessed with you. 

It might have had to do with how simple you were yet how elegantly you carried that simplicity. You were openly friendly where he was not, ready to smile, accept a challenge, soft and gentle yet bold and confident in so many ways that it drove him insane when he realized that just thinking of you is enough to pass the time. You were on his mind when he listened to music, or went on walks and Tsukishima would be lying if he didn’t have at least four playlists dedicated to you, each assorted according to the season. 

He even remembered the scent of your hair—that gloriously sweet fig and honey essence from your shampoo. He had no idea what it was, but he remembered calling you out on it. He remembered being so accurate that you called him a creep. He was beaming with pride on the inside, but you would never know. 

Now, one can wonder why Tsukishima turned you down even though he felt this way about you. 

He wondered that and regretted that same detail over and over again. He watched you sometimes, heading to the library with your friends, eating lunch with them, rushing to the vending machine during breaks, reading a book and yawning thinking no one else was looking, almost drifting off to sleep in class—every little detail that you believed no one noticed, Tsukishima did, and god, you broke his heart without even trying.

In many bittersweet ways, he knew he didn’t deserve you. You were beautiful; and it wasn’t just superficial beauty, you were so kind, you were a wonder to both Tadashi and himself—having entered their lives randomly. He would be forever grateful to Tadashi for introducing him to you, but such words couldn’t be spoken because you were someone who needed to face a light brighter than him. 

But it was until high school did he realize that there was one such light. And it scared him to no end that maybe, just maybe, you’d find that burning brighter instead.

*

You would be lying if you said you were over Tsukishima Kei, the boy that broke your heart so devastatingly back in middle school. You still spoke to Tadashi and often asked him about the blond boy, but that was perhaps all you were allowed to ask—you couldn’t ask for more. 

Tadashi could see how much it hurt you to even talk about Kei, but you did, you endured because every inch of you genuinely cared for him—you saw how troubled he was over a few things that he thought you didn’t know; you saw how much thought he put into practice, and you knew how much it shattered him to learn the truth of his brother. Tadashi offered to lend you a comforting shoulder to cry on, but you were not the sort to spill your emotions for self-gratification. You carried them because you did not regret them, and that was perhaps the biggest difference between you and Tsukishima. 

You were lost in thought one day when you bumped into Kei in the corridor. You gasped before letting out a meek sounding apology, battling within yourself over whether you make small talk or not. He probably hates small talk, you told yourself before scooting over and walking past him, not noticing how he was as still as a rock just where he stood. Looking down at your feet, you felt tears well up in your eyes from the pent-up frustration over how ruined things were with your crush and your old friend (who happened to be the same person), but a thud sound caught your ear.

You paused before turning to your right and noticing a small boy, your age perhaps but considerably short compared to a few boys you knew, bouncing a ball against the wall repeatedly. He had bright orange hair and his eyes were dead fixed at the ball, conviction screaming from his fingers and his aura, this boy wasn’t going to be distracted even if a meteor was crashing to the earth. Your lips parted a bit, fascinated at how he kept going—wasn’t it a break right now? What was he even trying to do? Isn’t volleyball a team game? What’s he doing practicing on his own? 

Does Tsukki know him—

You snapped out of your thoughts before rushing to class, unaware that Tsukishima had witnessed this entire ordeal. He would never admit it in a million years but his heart shattered at the sight of your mesmerised gaze at Hinata, the light he was so scared of losing you to. And now—it was actually happening right before his eyes.

He clicked his tongue and walked to class. 

The next day, you spotted the orange haired kid again, doing the same thing. You heard from Tadashi that your team had moved on to the Spring Tournament, something you were a tad bit ashamed you didn’t know on your own, but you tended to stray away from all things Volleyball because of a certain someone. You noticed that this orange kid seemed a lot more exhausted, causing you to blink and look down at what you were currently holding—vanilla flavored milk. Sighing, you walked over to the boy who wasn’t taking a break and stood right behind him.

     “Excuse me—”

Screaming, he dropped the ball on his head, which went tumbling away, causing your eyes to widen with guilt for interrupting his flow. Turning to you, while rubbing the new sore spot on his head, his eyes widened and you noticed his face turned a dark shade of red. No girl had voluntarily approached him and spoken to him—his life was finally reaching a turning point!

You handed him the vanilla milk with a soft smile, “Here. You look tired.”

     “A princess!” He screeched before you giggled at his response.

     “I saw that you were practising yesterday too, on your own. I wondered why you keep doing this? You have a team to practise with, don’t you?”

He nodded before wondering whether to take the milk or not. You giggled one last time before forcing it on to his hands, recalling at last that you hadn’t introduced yourself.

     “My name’s (l/n) (y/n), I’m in Yamaguchi’s class. We used to go to the same middle school.”

     “H-Hinata S-Shoyo!” He stammered before blinking and tilting his head, “Yamaguchi-kun? That means...” His eyes narrowed, “You must know Tsukishima too then.”

Your heart skipped a beat at the mere mention of the blond’s name and you wondered yet again for how long that dinosaur loving boy would have your heart react the way it was. You hoped that your face didn’t show any discomfort, and you smiled softly before desperately wanting to change the subject.

     “I gave you the milk to drink it, Hinata-kun.”

Shoyo let out a ‘gah’ before drinking it—almost as if he were doing it for you—and in a minute looked at you again. 

     “Why did you give this to me?”

You blinked, unsure of why yourself. There was something about Hinata that caught your eye, something that seemed...ethereal. Perhaps, it was because he was working on something he really loved, and he was doing it openly—unashamed of it, and how he contrasted the same love for the sport that Tsukishima seemed to have. Hinata was also shorter, much more cheerful, openly energetic and suddenly, your eyes widened.

You couldn’t be that shallow, right? 

Was your mind trying to compare Hinata to Tsukishima? Just so that you’d see that the difference was extreme? That you really weren’t missing out on anything? 

Hinata’s eyes shone like fire orbs while Tsukishima’s had a coldness to them that you thought you could penetrate with time. 

You could only smile at Hinata and say one thing, “You were shining too brightly.”

But deep in your heart, you knew what you were doing.

*

Tadashi and Tsukishima both witnessed your interaction with Hinata, but before Yamaguchi even could say a word, Tsukishima walked away. He didn’t want to get in between the both of you, but it was clearly only one person’s fault in this entire ordeal and whether it was cowardice or not, whether it was shame or something else, Kei was the one who needed to step up and take action. 

Tadashi could understand that sometimes, people wouldn’t know what to do. But, if Kei really wanted you to understand him better, which Tadashi knew he did, then he had to step up. 

Kei, on the other hand, was visibly seething. It wasn’t just the idea behind their names that bothered him, it was the contrasting personalities. It was how Kei knew deep down that you deserved someone who wasn’t so reserved, that you deserved someone who could unashamedly tell you what they think, instead of covering it up with layers and layers or rude comments or sarcasm. If this wasn’t cowardice, Kei didn’t understand what it could be. Hinata was bolder where Kei wasn’t and that was who he envisioned beside you. And even though Kei wanted to hold your hand and kiss you more than anything else, the truth was staring at him right in the eye.

At times he felt that he had almost rather not be in love with you, for it brought him no peace. What was the use of it, if it was only going to be painful?

And that was when he thought of it. He was going to tell you. He was going to tell you the next time fate decided to have your path cross his. He was going to blurt out everything that he thought of you, whether or not you’d accept his feelings, despite the shortcomings, despite the lack of conviction, despite not being Hinata. He was going to tell you he’s always been in love with you, as Tsukishima Kei, and see what you had to say.

Yet, fate didn’t see that happening any time soon. Weeks passed, and December was coming closer and closer. He was selected for a 5-day training camp, yet there was no sign of fate even attempting to pin you toward him. He knew this was merely an excuse; he knew that putting this on fate meant that he was, in a way, running away from it. He noticed that you were on a first name basis with Hinata and that angered him. He noticed how you’d wave at the orange haired munchkin every time you pass him by, and how you’d divert your eyes away from Kei’s whenever you even came close. 

Perhaps, what really drove him to the edge was one small incident. It was something Kei believed he was the only one allowed to know. 

     “Your hair smells like... honey?”

Before you could say anything, Kei’s voice reached out louder than you’ve ever heard him be.

     “(y/n)!” 

He wasn’t too far behind, and it was very, very unlike him to yell out your first name when he hasn’t even spoken to you properly in close to a year. Your eyes widen as your gaze lands on Tsukishima’s, Hinata was baffled as well but was quiet for his own reasons, and you could feel your insides shaking.

     “Tsukishima-kun?” 

He hated it. He hated how he had suddenly fallen from being ‘Tsukki’ to a name that reminded him of how close you were with Hinata, no, Shoyo-kun instead.

     “I need to talk to you.”

His words were convincing enough, and you quickly followed him. No one else paid any attention to the weird interaction, lunch breaks were fairly noisier than Tsukishima calling out your name by standing just five feet away from you.

     “Tsukishima—”

When he decided you two were alone enough, he turned and looked down at you, a scowl plastered on his face. You knew that this was sometimes a default expression, but it’s been months and you didn’t want the boy you were so helplessly in love with to look at you like you were trash.

But then, something miraculous happened. His expression waned and you could see a hurt look sit on his features, his hand reached out to you, almost hesitant, and touched the tip of your fingers. He took a deep breath and you almost smelt it. 

The thought you had when you first met Shoyo. Of their names contrasting. Tsukishima didn’t have to say a word.

     “I’m afraid...” He let out, gulping. “I’m afraid I can’t catch up.”

To what?

Shoyo.

Oh.

You looked up at him and wondered if this was why. If this was why he had turned you down, if this was what was haunting him then was he really, really so hellbent on punishing himself as if no one else noticed?

     “I think,” Your hands wound around the fingers close to you. “I like this light better.”

Tsukishima hated the way you always caught his breath the way you did. He hated how accurately placed your emotions were, he hated the way you felt, he hated how good your shampoo smelled and what he hated the most out of everything was how he desperately needed your affection. 

He craved it, all for himself. You were made for him, and that was how he saw it and as cheesy as these thoughts were, it was a balance he was yearning for and he saw it all in you.

     “Tsukki,” Ah, you were going to kill him one day. “Please, don’t push me away?”

A question. 

He sighed. He looked at your linked hands. Stepping forward, his lips ghosted over your forehead before placing a soft kiss there, feeling the back of his eyelids burn as he shut his eyes.

Fig and honey. 

     “I don’t think that’s possible now.”

#tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #tsukki #tsukki x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #hinata shoyo #tadashi yamaguchi #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima #kei tsukishima #kei tsukishima x reader #reader insert

[mcfreakin-bxtch]

Here

The Mandalorian x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Some angst, A happy ending because I couldn’t bear giving them a sad one

Word Count: 1.7k+

A/N: After a million more years I finally finished it. Thank you to all who have been sticking with me and the story!

*Italics - Flashback

Out of Love // Lovely // Start Over

-

Din watched you from afar. 

Your smile radiated throughout the small little valley. He used to think it was the most beautiful thing in the world; your smile, your laughter, your eyes, your nose, your—he could go on and on. 

It’s not that he didn’t think any of that anymore, oh definitely not. He couldn’t imagine his life without you. 

But, there was his little girl. His little girl, with his hair and your eyes, grabbing a handful of flowers with small, grubby hands. The Child ran behind her, or as much as he could; he was having fun regardless. 

His little girl, who brought him nothing but happiness. Who gave him a whole new meaning to his life, who saved him from his own self destruction. The little human girl that Din would undoubtedly and unconditionally love for the rest of his days, and even after if that was a possibility; the one he would give up everything for. 

So yeah, you used to be on the very, very top of that list of beautiful things he’d seen in his lifetime. That was before she came along. And when he first laid eyes on your daughter, his daughter, he couldn’t stop crying after getting over the initial shock that this beautiful baby girl was a part of him. It amazed him that someone like him, hard, vicious, quiet, and dangerous, could create something so precious and small. 

Din, however, never planned for any of this. He never prepared himself for a family. For a quiet, settled life in a nice little valley. For you. Even watching his small but perfect family ahead of him, he still couldn’t fathom that fact that this was his. At first, it just didn’t seem… right. 

“Din?”

Cara thought she was going to have to grab Mando and shake him. Slap him even, if it woke him up from his anxiety induced trance. You stood there, swollen belly and a fury of emotions; shock, a double take, comprehension, grief, acceptance, then anger. Pure anger that even had the ex trooper scared. 

“Y-Y/N.” Din breathed. It felt—good, saying your name like that again without the pain punching him in the gut. The guilt, yes that was still there of course. But you were there, standing in front of him, carrying his child and looking like you were absolutely ready to murder him. It kinda made him feel whole again. 

“Cara,” you said with a calmness that made Cara shiver. “Can you please leave us alone for a minute?”

Din was rightfully terrified. You may have been heavily pregnant, but he knew without a doubt that you would and could destroy him. 

You were seething in your silent rage. He could sense it. And because of that, he didn’t dare say another word until you did. 

“Why?” You said calmly; a hidden storm waiting to explode with devastating rage.

That one word, so simple and short, was enough to make him shudder out a breath, so filled with unshed tears and a heartache so strong that it was going to kill him.  

“I had t—”

“Don’t,” you snarled, your voice layered with the tears streaming down your cheeks. “Don’t you dare say that, Din. You didn’t have to, you wanted to.”

His heart broke all over again. He made the love of his life, his rock, his world, believe that he—he didn’t want her. You truly believed him when he said it, and he knew it was no one’s fault but his own, but hearing it from you was a whole nother thing on its own. It made it feel even more real, a sin he couldn’t cleanse. 

“So tell me,” you continued when he didn’t speak. “Tell me why you’re here. If you didn’t want me, or…” she gulped, furiously wiping away the tears, not that it did much good. “Or love me anymore. Why are you here?” Then realization dawned on you. “Cara.”

“She brought me here. I didn’t know…” That probably wasn’t the best thing to say, but it was the truth. 

Your face hardened and your eyes became colder. “How long are you staying?”

He shrugged his shoulders. He couldn’t find the words he wanted to say, the words that crippled him and ate away at him. The words he wanted to say to you. 

You laughed humorlessly, all the while cradling your bump. Din couldn’t stop staring at it, and at the same time he had a hard time looking at it too. 

“Fine. Just… just leave me alone, Din.” You said and started to walk away. 

It’s like time slowed down and his life flashed before his eyes. His heart pounded with a vengeance and everything just… stopped. 

And he couldn’t do it. Not anymore, and not this time. He let you go before, practically threw you out, and this had to be a chance, right? His second chance at redemption. Not just for leaving you, but for everything bad thing he had ever done in his life; every life he’d ever taken, every bad decision he ever made, it was all screaming at him, taunting him. 

“Stop!” He shouted. 

You halted right in your steps, stiff and back turned towards him. You didn’t turn around, only tilted your head to the side to let him know you were listening. 

“And why should I Din? You made it perfectly clear last time—”

“I’m sorry.” He stopped you. “I’m so fucking sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for leaving you, for not being there for you. I’m sorry that I thought of myself, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you…” He could’ve kept going if you didn’t interrupt him. 

“Didn’t tell me what?” You demanded, now facing him. 

Your eyes held so much in them. Blurred and red from your tears but still just as breathtaking, especially in the sun. Din couldn’t take his eyes away from them, despite the fact that you couldn’t see, and took a step forward. When you didn’t flinch or step back, he took another, and another and another until your stomach barely touched him. 

“I—there knew your name.” He finally said. “Quarries, dangerous people. And I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you. Before, well it wasn’t as strong before—kriff you know what I mean, right?   Along the lines I… I fell in love with you and I never stopped. I’m weak. I’ve become so weak in my desperation to—to save you, that I just…”

He didn’t know how to finish it. He hoped that you could understand what he was saying to you. He hoped that you could see beyond his helmet, his armor, like he was so convinced you could do. He hoped that you could forgive him. It didn’t have to be now, but he hoped. 

You didn’t waver, only looked him over with hard eyes. He let you assess him, even growing increasingly nervous under the cover of the unknown. Your jaw clenched and you bounced on your heel; Din immediately recognized this as you breaking. 

“Din,” you suddenly whispered. “I can’t… if you have no plans at all, of staying and fully committing to this child.” You shook your head, biting down on your lip to keep yourself from sobbing. Sobbing at the image of Din walking away from you again, the man you gave practically everything to, the one who opened himself up to you—it was a sight you couldn’t stand, but you would do anything for your baby, and you would not let anyone, not even the Mandalorian, hurt him or her in any way. 

Din nodded. “I know.” He took a deep breath. “This is all… very new to me. I can’t say I’ll be a great father, or a—a lover.”

“Stay,” you said. “I—I’m not going to entirely forgive you right away, and there’s gonna be a lot of moments where I’m going to be very pissed off at you, and they’re going to come randomly. There’s going to be moments where I may not trust you to the fullest extent. We’re going to have to really work at this if we want it to work. Understand?”

He nodded to the point of giving himself a little headache under the weight of the helmet; the joy of another chance overweighed the uncomfortableness. “Yes. Thank you.”

You gave him a final stare and hard nod before saying, “Alright then, tin can.”

You smiled then, small but fuck. It was perfect. A whole new light of hope that he could touch. Speaking of—

“M-may I?” He asked nervously. 

It took you a moment to register what he meant, but when it clicked your face relaxed and warmed up. “Yes.”

It felt so… he couldn’t describe it. You were like an foreign object to him—no, it was the baby growing inside of you. His baby. He wasn’t sure on how to touch you, or how he was supposed to eventually hold this special creature. Din was going to try his fucking damnest to make it work. 

He recalled that memory with a fond smile. It brought him to this moment. Now, without the familiar weight of the Creed on him, he took a deep inhale of fresh, sweet air and exhaled with a tilt of his lip. 

“Din?” You said again.

Din blinked down at you lazily, smiling in his haze. “Yes, cyar’ika?”

You wrapped your arms around his waist with a lopsided smile and squinted eyes; there wrinkles around them now, and you were just as beautiful as the day he met you. His own wrapped around yours, holding you tightly to him.

“I think there’s a storm coming.” You mumbled into the crook of his neck, lips barely brushing against the juncture of it but still giving him shivers. “We gotta get the kids inside soon.”

“Hmm.”

You looked up at him curiously. “Hey,” you whispered. “Where’d you go?”

The laughter of his children continued to echo. It used to bring nothing to him other than an occasional longing for something more than the life he had. But now, it was so much more and he had you to thank. It all started with you. 

“No where’s.” He whispered back. “I’m right here.”

Tags: @scarlett-berserker​, @justlovetoreadfics​, @lil-baby27​, @mando-vibes​, @beepbeepyabitch, @that-void-witch​, @im-the-music-whore​, @certifiedhunter​, @softpedropascal​, @domino-oh-damn​​, @okaydacre​, @lemongrove​, @appreciating-chase-brody, @iwontforgettheapplepie, @mybabyboytony​, @olyamoriarty, @pcrushinnerd​, @elusive-ivory​, @dizzydazed​, @bluejeancntrygrl​, @dadzawas-eyebags​, @moonstruck-witchy @our-mrlangdon, @parody-the-emi​, @evalynanne​, @purplewaterbird​, @vikingqueen28​, @tedpicklez​, @blunt-cake-yes​, @agoldin​, @lustriix​, @readsalot73​, @kateb013​, @eupphoriaaa​, @imalovernotahater​, @everything-lost-and-unsaid​, @dlmafa1, @hoodedbirdie​, @drunkenliterary, @fioccodineveautunnale​​, @fangirlfree​, @mrsparknuts​, @amarvelousmandalorian​, @ironheart-hanako​, @bunniotomia​, @thisisthe-way, @sando-rann, @meganoid1997​, @adikaofmandalore​, @cahooter​, @charliepeaceout, @dreamgirl-67, @phoenixhalliwell​, @acrylics-and-sunshine​, @sunkissed-winter​, @oloreaa​, @equalstrashflavoredtrash​, @dyn-djarin​

#omg i finally did it here you go #the mandalorian #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian x you #din djarin #din djarin x reader #pedro pascal #star wars #out of love #fanfic #the mandalorian imagines

[maomao-words]

I have already posted this on my other blog @hejer-maomao​ as my first work in the MLQC fandom but I thought it would be best to re-post it here for the sake of order. (Please note that this has been re-posted with a few changes and alternations)

I will be soon opening my ask box and posting my rules for requests (❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

Until then, I hope you enjoy these!

Victor, Gavin, Kiro and Lucien: Hugs/Kisses/Special touch Headcannons

Victor:

Hugs or Kisses?

Neither.

Victor is not exceedingly touchy or overly affectionate, at least when it comes to public settings. Tender kisses and warm hugs are often kept behind closed door, as Victor is not keen on displaying the intimate side of your relationship for all to see. You are his after all, and he’s too possessive to let anyone see how red your cheeks get when he claims your lips or how you slightly tremble between his arms every time he tightly embraces your figure.

However, this does not mean that Victor’s affection is absent altogether. It’s subtle, faint but it is still there. It’s a hand on the small of your back to gently guide you among crowds. It’s the soft smile that grazes his lips whenever you smile brightly at him, eyes twinkling in pure happiness. It’s the way he never fails to wrap his long, slender fingers around your wrist every time he senses your anxiety or nervousness, silently promising that he’s there for you and he’s not going anywhere. It’s everywhere. It’s there every step of your way, providing you with the strength you need to move forward and with the reminder that you are loved. Incredibly and passionately so.

Special touch?

Sleepy touches.

Every time you doze off, your head nestled against Victor’s sturdy chest,his hands will automatically seek your skin. As if all of the affection he held off during the day finally broke free, Victor will thread his fingers into your hair, poke at your cheeks, caress your thighs and whisper into your ears. Any exposed patch of your skin will be pampered and spoiled with attention. Victor’s touch is feather-light, not enough to wake you up from your sleep, but unyielding enough to satisfy his hunger for you and maybe even make you softly moan in your sleep. Victor is just too careful not to let you catch him in the act, and you will lose your head trying to prove that you felt his hands touching your body the whole night. This man will deny it with all of his might til the end of the world, but even your suspicions won’t stop him from doing this all over again every night.

Gavin:

Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs.

Gavin loves absolutely nothing more than to hold you within his arms, bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there even if the world was crumbling around you both. The minute he sees you walking down the stairs of you apartment to meet him, Gavin has already his arms wide open to tenderly embrace you before even uttering a proper hello. The last thing he never fails to do when it’s time to separate for the night is to pull you closer to his chest and rest his head on top of your head, chuckling in satisfaction each time you complain how heavy he is. Hugs allow Gavin to feel your warmth, sense your steady heartbeats against him and your warm breath in his ear. Every time he holds you, Gavin’s tense muscles and anxious nerves instantly relax. You’re there. You’re fine, and you’re with him. And nothing can make him any happier.

Special touch?

Holding hands.

It might sound too mundane and common, but Gavin simply adores holding hands with you. He loves it. He loves how warm your skin feels against his, how your hand fits perfectly into his own, as if it was made just for him. He likes to be connected with you, while walking, while talking, while doing nothing at all. Only when your hand is in his, the wind surrounding you both, gently playing with the strands of your hair, does Gavin feel at peace

Sometimes, Gavin would let go of your hand only to caress your palm, tease your fingers one by one, and tenderly kiss your knuckles. He adores looking at your reaction every time he does it, likes it when you blush and stutter, before entrusting yourself to him, drowning in all of the love Gavin pours for you.

Kiro:

Hugs or Kisses?

Both.

This man is in a state of constant thirst for your touch, in any form you offer it. Whether be it soft good luck pecks before he goes out on stage of one of his biggest concerts, or those congratulatory passionate kisses you excitedly give to him each time he wins an award, or those sleepy, sloppy good morning kisses you drop on his lips before dragging yourself out of bed to seek your cup of coffee, Kiro loves each and every one of them.

He loves your tender yet short hugs when you send him off to work, the long and tight embraces you envelop him in when he comes back at midnight to you, tired and exhausted. Kiro feels safe within your arm, loved, appreciated and treasured.

As long as he can touch your skin and feel your warmth on his flesh, Kiro is satisfied.

Special touch?

A soft peck on your nose.

These special kisses are reserved for the days where you’re feeling so down you can barely muster up the courage to smile even at Kiro, the days where your heart feels like it’s being shredded into pieces and your demons come to haunt your every thought, leaving you feeling hollow and weak.

On those awful days, Kiro gently would cup your cheeks with his two warm palms, stare at your eyes for few long seconds before dropping a sweet peck on the tip of you nose. He then watches with absolute satisfaction as you scrunches up your nose, softly chuckling at his actions before tenderly telling him how silly he is, all the while looking at him with so much love in your eyes, the weight on your shoulders suddenly feeling lighter, demons banished from your mind.

You believe that Kiro’s kisses are magical, and no one can convince you otherwise.

Lucien:

Hugs or Kisses?

Kisses. All types of kisses.

Whether it’s a tiny peck on your cheek or a French kiss that steals your breath away, a fleeting touch of lips on your neck or an open-mouthed kiss that sends shivers down your spine, Lucien is constantly pressing his lips against your skin. His kisses come randomly and spontaneously, and you can never predict them. You can receive them first in the morning, when you’re drowning between your work papers or even when you’re crying your eyes out over a sad movie. No matter how good or bad you are feeling, Lucien’s first reaction to console or praise you is to kiss you.

It has become such a natural routine, that you started expecting Lucien’s kisses, turning your face towards your lover once you see him walking up to you, earning you a low, amused chuckle from him as he bends down to kiss you on whatever spot he fancied at the moment.

Special touch?

Hugging you from behind.

Using his height to his advantage, Lucien would come up to you while you’re applying your make-up in front of the mirror, trying (without avail) to cook him a simple dish in the kitchen, or simply staring out of the window as a small drizzle falls from the sky, and embraces you from behind, settling his chin on top of your shoulder. Lucien would hum dismissively at your questioning glance and urges you to resume your work and not pay him any attention. He’s simply content by nestling his face in the crook of your neck, breathe in your soothing scent and feel your warmth surround him.

Lucien can stay like that for hours upon hours with no end in sight, following you with his arms still around you, as you move around the room completing different tasks. You got so used to these hugs to the point you didn’t mind him hanging off of you anymore, and you simply let him do what he wanted, spoiling him as much as possible.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mr love lucien #mr love kiro #mr love gavin

[tuttifuckinfruttifriday]

Sending lots of love to my gorgeous @randomly-a-fan 🥺💖💖💖💖💖 If you ever send hate to her(correct me if I’m wrong on the pronoun, bby), you’re going to have to go through me 😤😤😤

🌺I got you🌸

Pairing: Jason Voorheese x MJ, MJ x Malon and Malon x Jason

Warnings: Violence, gore, small angst, lots of fluff and cuddles <3

Like always, don’t hesitate to tell me my mistakes 💕

Songs: <3

—

Today was a really sunny day, so a smile appeared on MJ’s face as she felt the rays of the sun on her sleepy face through the open curtains. It was probably her husband who opened them, wanting her to wake up on her own or see the beautiful weather. Thinking about him, MJ wasn’t surprised to see that he wasn’t there, but a small person was sleeping peacefully beside her, the person being her Malon. The light enlightened her messy red hair and sleeping face, making MJ smile. If there was a camera somewhere, she would have took it and taken the cute moment in picture. Not wanting to wake her up, she tiptoed out of the room and changed her clothes for something less warm, after she kissed her forehead gently, eating a little something. She didn’t bother making breakfast, since Malon would probably wake up in maybe 2-4 hours and Jason was on patrol. Putting her bowl of yogourt/berries into the sink to wash later, an idea came to her. Since it was really nice outside, she would take a small walk to sketch some other things, but she would take a small bag with her because she didn’t want what happened to her first sketchbook to happen again. Putting everything she needs in the brown homemade bag, she swung the strap over her shoulder and opened before closing the door carefully, telling herself that nobody would come here anyway so she didn’t need to put the lock. Her gaze drifted towards the sky, the sun peeking between the leaves of the trees and looking strait at her. It made her feel at peace, the light making small cream dots on her skin.

The crunching of the leaves under her shoes distracted her from thinking about anything bad that could happen, her smile still resting on her face—

Before it vanished as she saw a camping tent where she would normally sit. There was obviously at least one camper inside, the sun showing a shadow through the impermeable blue fabric. It was like her insides where moving around and she felt sick to her stomach, fear making its way through her brains as she took a big breath, walking backward slowly as to not alert the person... only to freeze as she stepped on a branch and felt the twig and leaves snap and rustle, the noise obviously stopping the person inside. “Hello? Who’s here?” A male stepped out, at least 10 years older than her. His hair was almost all grey and he had a really good built, but not too much. His blue eyes drifted towards MJ who decided to be brave and he tilted his head with a frown. “Hello... H-hi! Huumm... Sorry to bother you, mister.” Listening to her with an eyebrow raised, his eyes never left her form as she got a little closer, now almost in his campement. “Hi? What do you want..?” Snapping out of her shy phase, she took a deep breath and started to tell him that it was a private property, and that he couldn’t camp here. “I’ll camp wherever I damn please, lady!” He suddenly snapped, making her jump a little. “I-I’m sorry—“ She desperately tried to explain to him, putting subtle Camp Blood hints to try to scare him away.

It went like that for some time, the adrenaline making her look calmer and stricter than she was. In reality, her heart was still beating really fast, and she could see her shirt moving up and down because of the rapidity and strength of it. She was absolutely terrified, the man having terrible anger issues. But before he could become violent, they heard the rustle of leaves from somewhere. The man stopped abruptly his angry yelling, jumping a little. He was so frustrated that he didn’t see the big shadowy figure coming towards him, a barbed wire in his hands. Before he could have the time to react, the person put the wire to his neck and brought it back, choking him and cutting his throat successfully. Blood splattered on her face, but her body was still frozen in place as she breathed heavily and rapidly, her eyes fixed where the man was standing. Everything buzzed, the gurgles and strangled screams of the man blocked, as water came to her eyes, her anxiety and stress getting the best of her. Before she could do anything else, Big strong arms wrapped around her, supporting her body from behind as she felt all her strength leaving her. She couldn’t say anything else, her eyes moving rapidly and she tried to breath normally, feeling comfort coming from the person that was obviously her husband.

Seeing his wife so distressed and scared made the undead man want to cry, so he took her in his arms bridal style and walked slowly toward their home, cradling the best he could her shaking body into his chest. He would get rid of the man later, right now, he had to take care of the love of his life, not wanting her to feel scared anymore. When they got inside, Malon ran towards them, only to stop with tears in her eyes as she saw her mom shaking, trying to stay strong and not let the tears fall down her face. “Mommy...” She followed them as Jason put her on their bed, coming up on the mattress to hug her mother, feeling her shaking arms wrap around her. MJ’s never been so scared before, not even when she was hurt and kidnapped multiple times. Her thoughts were cut when heard her little girl trying to comfort her, her face buried into her neck. “It’s okay, mommy... Everything’s okay... Me and daddy are here and we’ll protect yoooouu.... “ Instantly, a sad smile appeared on her face as she forced out a small chuckle, seeing that her girl could read her like a book and is so brave.. With that, she calmed a little, cuddling with Malon as Jason tried to make some food for the three to eat. He didn’t know a lot about that, but he tried to remember what his mother would make... Thinking about her, since he met MJ, he never heard from her anymore. Maybe she had finally crossed over, if yes, he was really happy for her, but still really sad..... Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he continued on the task of making food, his hands working carefully as he remembered his mother doing the same, her hands working skillfully as he looked at her cooking from the table. His didn’t look as good, but at least they could eat it. So he separated the food into plates, putting one on the table as he saw his daughter coming in the kitchen happily, hopping on the chair and eating with a smile towards him. Not seeing his wife, he decided that he would take the food to her and did just that, placing the plate on his lap as he hugged her and obliged her to eat, watching carefully as she did her best, her body still shaking a little, tears coming to her eyes now and then.

After that, they played her favourite board game, MJ wining most of the time and them smiling as they saw her cheering. It was a really nice night, and the family were happy, almost forgetting about the dangerous encounter. When it was finally time to go to sleep, MJ and Jason kissed Malon before they tucked her in gently, the little girl hugging her mother one last time before she was out like a light. Then, the couple went to their bedroom, closing the light when they considered themselves comfortable and closing the blinds. But as MJ tried to sleep, she seriously couldn’t.... the encounter with the trespasser coming back to her, his pale bloodied body on the forest ground....

Big strong arms wrapped around her, her body melting under the soft and protective embrace. Her husbands large body spooned hers as she suddenly felt all her worry melting away, happy tears coming to her eyes as she closed them, feeling a very gentle kiss on the top of her shoulder before she fell into sleep, her body one with the other behind her, feeling like she was floating...💕

#jason voorheese #randomly a fan

[kidney9-9]

Meeting peter after the snap and being his escape from his high key PTSD

Hi anon! hope you enjoy! Thank you for sending this in :) I used this website for sources about PTSD. Please do not read if you are uncomfortable about PTSD or behaviors displaying PTSD.

Masterlist

Peter Parker x Reader (Angst/Fluff) Warnings: poverty and ptsd, anxiety (please Do NOT Read if you are uncomfortable with these warnings)  Word Count: 1.7k

Peter found himself staring off into space for minutes upon hours. He would sit anywhere and do it. On the train, at home, in the car. Absolutely anywhere. He didn’t know what to think about now, other than the war, and watching Tony die. Seeing his face on billboards still, made Peter cry. It was horrible for the media to use a dead man to motivate the world to be positive. It was sick and disgusting.

Today Peter found himself at a bridge, sitting on the side and gazing at the cars passing by. It was maybe three or four in the morning now; he didn’t really track the time much. But no one looked back to him, as he started counting his breaths, recalling every second of the time he stepped out of the portal. One step forward, as he looked out to everyone confused and amazed, and he tapped his hand against the ground, huffing out a slow breath.

He stopped himself from thinking about it now.

Peter glanced up as a car slowed down in front of him, making him sneer at it, with a bout of irritation. Were they going to bother him? Who knows? It just made Peter feel uneasy and upset. The window rolled slightly as an older man stared back at him, making Peter roll his eyes. “What do you want?” Peter exclaimed in anger, making the man shake his head, and roll the window back up, and drive off.

“Why do people in cars always act like we’re the zoo animals?” A voice asked Peter, making him flinch in surprise. He looked up once he saw your feet next to him. His face softened when he saw you pouting down to him, upset by the car as well. “Maybe because we are zoo animals.” He responded, pushing his hands into his face and groaning, suddenly feeling tired.

You grinned down to him, and bent down, sitting a little away from him, on the sidewalk. “I like that. I’d rather know I’m a zoo animal, instead of speculating about it. Changed my perspective a little bit.” You spoke up, causing Peter to move away from his hands, and to stare at you.

“You’re strange.” Peter observed, tilting his head back to you. A car zoomed by, splashing water on the both of you, making Peter cough out in shock and anger at it. “Asshole!” He screamed at the car, standing up suddenly. You giggled at his actions, gazing back at him as he looked at you, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Hey,” You called out to him, as he took a seat by you again. He glanced at you and shrugged, “Yes?” You grinned back at him, “Change your perspective a bit- it’s a free shower.”

Peter found himself going back the next day, a little later this time. He wanted to know who you were. You smiled at him, like there was nothing wrong in the world, but there was so much darkness and pain. He wanted to know how you managed to smile like that, and why. You were already there when he showed up. You were picking at the sidewalk, between the cracks and smiling when you saw a bug slither up, and randomly crawl places. You let an ant crawl onto your hand, as you stared at Peter with a bright smile.

“Why?” He found himself asking when you stood up and held his hand, letting the ant crawl onto him. You shrugged back, “If we’re really zoo animals, then what are bugs to us?” Your question caused Peter to pause, and blink back to you, muddled by your behavior.

He sighed out, as he felt the ant tingle up his arm, crawling randomly around his elbow, as you stared at it with fascination. “You’re strange.” Peter found himself repeating from the day before, but he added on, “What’s your name?”

You gazed back up to him as the ant crawled back onto your arm, letting go of his hand. “It’s Y/n. What do you go by?” You questioned back, as the ant danced along your fingertips. Peter smiled at your name, finding it beautiful. “I’m Peter.” He answered, glancing back behind you, anxious to see if something was going to happen. You nodded back and stepped away.

You glanced up to the sky and frowned, seeing the sun start to rise, making Peter’s face fall. “I like it when you smile.” He mumbled, making your attention snap to him. You smiled softly at his compliment, “I have to go.” You responded, grabbing onto his hand again. The ant littered onto his fingers instantly, as if following your directions. Peter frowned at your words.

“Why?” He found himself asking, wanting to go with you. “I need food. Zoo owners are probably stocking right now; got to get there early to get it.” You responded, giggling slightly at the mention of the zoo again. Peter shook his head, confused by you, once again. He couldn’t find any words, so he just shrugged back.

You began to walk away, but you turned back to him again, calling back, “Watch our pet. Meet me tomorrow here at noon.” Peter nodded back to you, smiling brightly, and looked down to the ant, now feeling his affection grow. A honk knocked him out of his thoughts, making him step back in shock, glancing back up to the road, as it started to become busy.

The next day, you were already there when Peter arrived. The ant was in a small jar, covered in plastic wrap, and still alive. He set the jar on the floor as you stared at him with a tiny smile. “Where’s your set up?” You whispered to him, making Peter cock his head in confusion. “What’s a set up?” He questioned lightly, feeling a flash of panic rise randomly. He coughed, trying to keep it down as you scooted closer to him, taking the ant jar in your hands.

“Oh, nothing. Peter, what’s your favorite color?” You asked, feeling confusion rise in you. Was he not…? You shook your head to yourself, and bit your lip, opening the ant jar and laughing when he crawled onto your hand. Peter grinned at you, as you both launched into conversation.

Over time, it started to happen. He’d feel safer around you for some reason, at ease. He’d smile whenever you were around, and the bridge started to become one of his favorite places. People would ask where he was, what he was doing, but he never wanted to tell them. He wanted to keep you out of the world of superheroes and death. You were the only person that brought him hope, he couldn’t lose you too.

Maybe it was because you would never ask him what was wrong, or never asked what he was feeling, but he felt normal again with you. He managed to stay sane with you, feeling hopeful and happy about the future. You and Peter were similar in many ways, but as much as you knew about him, he barely knew anything about you. You were an angel in his eyes, always helping him in ways he didn’t even think about.

When he’d ask more about you, you always shrugged it off, pushing the attention on him. He had no idea why, but just being with you made him happy once again.

One day, he couldn’t find you. He sat at the bridge for hours, before getting up and strolling around the blocks, trying to find you. There was no sign of you, and he started to feel panicked again, thinking the worst. “Y/n!” He called out again, looking down an alley. Why did you never give him your phone number? He had no idea where to look for you, how to reach out to you. He searched for the rest of the day, which bled into the night very quickly. He paused, realizing he had to go home again.

The next few hours, he went again to the bridge. It was around 1AM now, and he found you resting against the railings. “Where were you?” Peter exclaimed, feeling relieved to see you here now. You gazed up tiredly to him, shaking your head. “Someone stole my stuff…got into a fight.” You mumbled, holding your aching head as you glanced to him.

“What? Are you alright? Who did that? What stuff?” Peter rushed out, dropping to his knees next to you, looking at your head worriedly. You grinned slightly to him, trying to laugh the pain off, but it was too much.

You winced from it, making Peter more worried as you rested your head into his shoulder. “I need to tell you something.” You mumbled glancing up to him. Peter nodded, holding you with shaky hands. This was the closest the two of you had ever been together.

“I’m homeless.” You whispered, watching for Peter’s reaction. He gasped in shock down to you, how did he not know? His eyes searched in front of him as he started realigning the signs and he cursed to himself, feeling stupid and now even more worried for you. “I- wh- do you want help? Do you want to stay with me for a bit?” Peter rambled nervously and confused.

He didn’t know what else to say. You moved out of his embrace with another wince and shook your head to him. “I…I don’t want to intrude in your life. I just want you to stay safe and happy, Peter.” You mumbled; thankful he didn’t scream at you. You were scared he was going to be disgusted with you, even though the two of you have been friends for so long.

“I have PTSD.” Peter confessed, blowing out air and gazing at you, while shaking his head. “Well, fuck.” You laughed back, as the two of you comforted each other from the struggles. Peter held his hand out to you, causing you to squeeze it back with a sad smile.

He leaned in closer to you, sighing in amazement. “You’ve helped me a lot, and I…yeah you are an angel. My offer still stands, for now and every day after.” He whispered to you, eyes watering at the emotions he started to feel.

“You’re an angel to me too, Peter. And maybe I will take that offer, sometime.” 

--

Marvel Taglist: @lozzypoz321 @peepeeparkerr Peter Taglist: @itscaminow @belleknows  All Taglists are open! 

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #peter parker x you #peter parker x y/n #peter parker/reader #peter parker/you #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker fanfiction #spiderman #spiderman x reader #spiderman x you #spiderman x y/n #spiderman/reader #spiderman/you #spiderman fluff #spiderman angst #spiderman fanfiction #avengers #avengers x reader #avengers x you #avengers x y/n #avengers/reader #avengers/you #avengers fluff #avengers angst #avengers fanfiction #marvel #marvel x reader #marvel x you

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Disarming Voice

[Tour!verse]

One of, like, three gifts for @the10amongstthese3s because I love them so much and they mean a lot to me and I just 💚💘💙💖💚💖💚💘💙💘💚 I was supposed to wait for their birthday in June but they were sad earlier today and so I gathered the remains of the Adderall in my system and wrote this bad boy

I love you, Duckie!!!!!

also: i couldnt think of a title so i frantically searched up Pokemon moves and now this will be the second fanfic with a title that is a move from Pokemon (the first is Quiver Dance)

Word count: 3175

TW: Blood

———————

Haus of Holbein concluded with kaleidoscope of strobe lights and cacophony of giggles from the eager audience. They watched as the queens pranced over the risers and staircase for the next bit, unbeknownst to a small pop in the back that was deaf to even the Tudor ladies themselves. They just went on with their performance like they always did.

“It’s time for you to choose your bride, your highness!” Aragon declared in her high pitched, Welsh-tinged voice, and that was enough to pop a metaphorical balloon that cut Howard off from saying her next line.

Okay, well, it wasn’t really the metaphorical balloon popping that halted the show, but the sharp cry of pain that came from the upper right.

Joan was hunched over her keyboard, rocking back and forth slight and clutching at one side of her head. The sound of her soft whimpers and keens resonated in the earpieces each of the queen’s wore.

“Joan, what are you doing?” Anne hissed softly. She can hear the audience starting to murmur in confusion behind her.

“Stop the show,” Joan croaked weakly.

“What? We can’t-”

“Please!” Joan cried, her voice cracking. Her head snapped up and the spotlights caught on some kind of fluid running down the side of her face. Anne makes a sickened look and backed away, thinking that it may be blood. Aragon gave her an exasperated expression—how could a woman be afraid of the sight of blood? Or did Anne just pass out every time she had her period?

The golden queen’s internal nitpicking came to an abrupt halt when the director suddenly came on the speakers and announced a momentary intermission. A few people in the audience grumble in annoyance, while others groan, and the majority whispered even louder. A couple of stagehands are leering at Joan from the wings.

“What is going on?” The director suddenly stormed onstage, looking frazzled and aloof at the interruption. He was probably already imagining all the negative reviews and the money they’ll lose from people not wanting to come anymore, which definitely would not happen with how popular the show was. “Why did we stop? Joan, what did you do?”

“My-my ear—” Joan choked out. She’s rocking herself more prominently, as if she thought the movement would comfort her, but it clearly wasn’t working the magic she thought it would.

“You made us stop the show for an EARACHE?” The director barked.

“Hey, get off her ass.” Aragon growled, puffing out her chest to the obnoxious man and gathering herself up to her full size—which was easier taller than the director. And if she didn’t beat him in height, then her muscles and abs surely did, and she made sure to make that known to him.

“N-no, it’s—” Joan winced. “I-it’s—” She was stuttering too much for anyone to understand what she was saying, although nobody was really surprised. It was a habit of hers.

“Woah,” Maggie suddenly piped up. “What’s that on your face?”

Someone called for the main lights to be turned on, and the white-yellow fluid coating one side of Joan’s head is revealed. It was mixing with trails of red—blood. Anne stepped back dizzily and Aragon shot her a ‘get over it’ look over her shoulder before returning her full attention to the injured music director.

She could see that the fluids seemed to be coming from her ear and were dripping all the way down her jawline and onto her chest and shoulders. The droplets disappear against the dark material of her band uniform.

“Ew,” Jane wrinkled her nose and Joan looked dismayed at her reaction, then embarrassment. Pink did not go well with whatever color that liquid was supposed to be.

“What happened?” Cleves asked, incredibly curious. She was looking at the residue as if it were liquid gemstones.

“I-I had an—ear infection.” Joan explained, and each of her words are punctuated with a wince or whimper. “I took—pain killers, but—” She made a miserable, pained sound and clenched tighter.

“Your eardrum might have burst.” Cathy said bluntly.

Joan went very pale, and the fluids suddenly look a lot darker. Or maybe that was just because of the increased sputtering of blood that’s coming out.

Slowly, so slowly, she pulled her hand back, and they all saw the drooling maw that was her left ear. The interior was completely coated in a thick amalgam of water, blood, and something that looked like pus, and the hole seemed to be clogged by the same concoction, although that looked a lot more /red/. It was weeping the foul-smelling liquid; Anne gagged loudly, but Aragon didn’t know if it was because of the sight, the smell, or both.

“Yikes,” Maggie winced. “That looks painful.” At her side, Howard tentatively touched her ear, as if she thought that her eardrum may randomly burst and put her through the same pain the music director was very obviously feeling.

“What do we do?” Aragon asked, waving her head around to everyone.

“Well, if I remember correctly,” Cathy said in her infamous know-it-all voice, “burst eardrums usually heal on their own.”

There was a collective sigh of relief—and then Cathy started talking again.

“However, sometimes surgery is needed. I’ve heard of cauterizing being used as a form of treatment, too.”

Miraculously, Joan’s face managed to get even whiter. If Cathy noticed, she doesn’t relent with her fact-stating.

“And hearing loss is sometimes possible. Which, when working in show biz, doesn’t seem to be a very good th-”

“Thank you, Cathy!” Aragon said loudly, batting her goddaughter away. She set a hand on Joan’s shoulder and her heart broke a little when she felt the girl trembling. Ice blue eyes stare up at her in fear.

“I-I don’t want t-to get my ear cauterized.” Joan stammered. “O-or go deaf!”

“You won’t, honey,” Aragon assured her. I hope. “I’ll take you to the doctor’s.”

“What?” The director squawked. “You can’t leave!” He wheeled around to Joan, bug-eyed and desperate. “You can still perform, can’t you?”

“My EAR is LEAKING!” Joan cried, holding out her pus-soaked hand to the man, who reared away in disgust. Anne gagged again from somewhere further away and Howard begrudgingly leaves the commotion to go comfort her soon-to-be-ill cousin.

Aragon raised her eyebrows with a pleased smile. She didn’t often hear Joan snap at people, but she was always very impressed when she was around for it. It just proved there were thorns under that shell she’s always hiding in.

“Can you walk?” Aragon said softly, then wanted to slap her. She was on the side with the injured ear—Joan probably could barely hear from that side.

“Yeah.” Joan still said, making out the queen’s words. She wobbled to her feet, and although it was her ear that was the part that hurt, her legs were still hindered by the waves of pain and discomfort washing over her.

“Ow,” She whispered, wincing.

“Come on, darling.” Aragon said to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “I won’t let you fall.”

“What about the show?” The director warbled woefully.

“The swings are here, aren’t they?” Aragon said dismissively. “Get one of them to do it!”

There’s a reply, but Aragon was already leading Joan off of the stage, through the wings, and out the back door to the staff parking lot.

“What did it feel like?” Aragon asked as she was driving to the hospital. She glanced at the shuddering form of Joan in the passenger seat. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Um,” Joan looked a little uncomfortable. “Sorta like a water balloon popping? I kinda heard, like, umm—this pop, I guess? And then splitting pain and, ahh—there was stuff—coming out of my ear.”

At least, Aragon thinks that’s what she said. She liked to think she was good at discerning Joan Stutters, but the girl was just stammering so badly that even she was having a hard time understanding what exactly she was saying. She reached one hand off the steering wheel and touched Joan’s shoulder, hoping it may help comfort her.

“It’ll be okay, darling.” She told her.

“P-please focus on the road,” Joan said, glancing anxiously at the hand on her shoulder.

“Right.” Aragon pulled her hand away. She should have known—Joan hated when she didn’t drive with both hands on the wheel.

How was it possible to hold so much anxiety in such a scrawny little body?

They soon arrived at the hospital in a whirl of rhinestones and sparkles, seeing as they were both still in their show costumes. The people in the waiting room were dazzled at the shimmering gold outfit Aragon was stuck in, and one person even recognized her and got up to possibly ask for a picture, but then immediately sat back down when they noticed her determined, ‘do not fuck with me’ expression. If her leotard was breaking some kind of hospital dress code, nobody decided to say something.

Aragon explained to the woman at the reception desk about what they were there for, gesturing vaguely to the coagulated mess on the side of Joan’s head in the process a few times. After getting checked in, they took a seat in the waiting room, much to Aragon’s displeasure. Sure, Joan’s injury was no broken bone or heart attack, but the girl was clearly in a severe amount of pain. If the way she wouldn’t stop shaking didn’t give that away.

“Snowflake?” Aragon gently touched her hand. “Are you alright, baby?”

Joan merely replied with a soft “mmm” and kept her eyes shut. Aragon frowned. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a boy with his parents staring at the mess on Joan’s head and shot him a look that nearly made him keel over dead.

“You’re going to be okay.” Aragon told her girl, keeping her voice warm and soothing. “I promise.”

Joan just nodded this time.

It took almost twenty minutes and an extra squirting of ear water and pus, but Joan was eventually called for examination. Aragon followed her, sliding past the several gazes she got as she went along.

As Cathy predicted, there wasn’t much the doctors could do for something inside of Joan’s head, and they were sure she didn’t want a sudden surgery to repair some pieces of frayed tissue. However, they did clean up her head and ear (which was a painful process when a q-tip was used), and prescribed her some stronger antibiotics since it was clear she was in some discomfort.

On the drive to her apartment, Joan looked terribly guilty.

“What’s wrong, snowball?” Aragon asked, glancing at the sulking girl.

Joan mumbled something. Aragon leaked over slightly.

“A little louder, baby. I can’t hear you.”

“I made you miss the show for nothing.” Joan said. “And then you paid for a pointless doctor visit.” She hunched over in the passenger seat and put her head in her hands. “You wasted so much for me.”

It took all of Aragon’s willpower to not veer the car off the road and start laying into Joan about how she’d give up everything for her, but she kept her cool and continued driving so she wouldn’t freak the girl out even more. Her added car anxiety wouldn’t make anything better.

“Honey, I chose to take you to the doctor’s.” Aragon said. “It was my idea. You didn’t force me. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Joan pulled her head back and nodded slowly. Aragon wished she would smile, or at least stop frowning guiltily like she was. The girl was always too hard on herself, always blaming herself for things she didn’t cause and always losing her mind over the most minor inconveniences. She thought she was to prove herself or live up to the queen’s greatness, Aragon realized awhile ago.

They parked in Joan’s apartment complex and Joan didn’t even try to convince Aragon that she didn’t have to stay like she usually did. She just trudged up the two flights of stairs to her flat- Argaon always wondered how she got all her furniture up there, as she was sure the girl was too shy to ask a moving company for help. The image of her darling snow fox trying to haul an entire wardrobe up the steps was quite funny, albeit a bit pitiful.

Stepping into Joan’s apartment, however, was even more pitiful.

Aragon never got over how barren Joan’s home was. She stumbled through a dark corridor, kicking off her shoes as she does so. She saw Joan turn on a lamp instead of the main lights (they hurt her eyes, she had said before), and the glow it gave off was dim, as though the bulb was about to go out. It was enough to illuminate the bare and cold living room, dining room, and kitchen, which were all empty of decorations. Joan was terrible with money, fearing that buying a simple potted plant would leave her bankrupt. She did have a small cactus in her kitchen, though—its name was Prickle.

Joan grabbed a light blue cup from the sink, the only dish in the basin, and filled it up with some water before swallowing one of the painkillers, despite already having taken one while at the hospital.

“Joan, baby?” Aragon called out gently. “Does it hurt that much?”

She worried about the pain being that severe and the chance that Joan was just taking more pills because she liked how they made her numb. She once said she liked not feeling—it made her forget about her worthlessness and stress.

Joan sorta just shrugged in response, staring ruefully down into the cup. Aragon came over to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“How about we watch a movie?” She suggested. “Or do you want to rest?”

“It’s only lunchtime.” Joan pointed out. “I can’t rest already.”

“Haven’t you ever heard of catnaps?” Aragon poked her in the stomach, which made her giggle and squirm away. It was music to her ears. “Let’s make lunch, then. And THEN watch a movie.”

She detangled herself from Joan and walked over to the fridge. Her eyes widened when she saw what was inside.

“You went grocery shopping!” She spun around to Joan, clasping her hands in her own. “I’m so proud of you!”

She had been so worried to see the fridge empty like so many times before, but this time there was /food/! Sure, it wasn’t much, but it was something! Joan had bought fruit and milk and cheese and eggs and that weird LaCroix drinks she insists are really good but Aragon just thinks they taste like static and a single cherry skittle that’s been dissolved in water for three hours. There was food in the pantry, too—bread and crackers, biscuits and cereal, canned soup and packets of macaroni. Joan had even bought herself ice cream!

Joan blushed shyly, looking away.

“It’s not that big of a deal,” She murmured.

“It is to me!” Aragon whisked her up in her arms, causing Joan to squeak and cling to the ruffs on her shoulders.

“That’s itchy,” Joan said after she was set down, wrinkling her nose at Aragon’s costume.

“Tell me about it,” Aragon laughed. “Do you think any of your clothes will fit me? I’d watch the movie naked like I usually do, but I feel like that wouldn’t be proper guest etiquette.”

“Oh, I actually have—”

Aragon burst into laughter at the double take Joan does.

“Wait. What?!” Joan blinked at her, probably picturing that image in her head and then immediately being horrified when it actually materializes in her brain. “Don’t you— Doesn’t Anna share a room with you?”

“Then I guess I’m the award-winning film she’s watching.” Aragon smirked.

“Ahhh!!” Joan slapped Aragon's arms frantically. “Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!”

“What? You don’t like hearing about my-“

“LA LA LA LA LA LA LA!!!” Joan covered her ears, although softly with her injured one. “I CAN’T HEAR YOU!!! MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB, LITTLE LAMB!!!”

Aragon laughed until her chest hurt. She wiped one of her eyes and set a hand on Joan’s head.

“Okay, snowfall, I’m done.”

Joan carefully removed her hands, peering up at Aragon suspiciously.

“You’re gross.” She poked her.

“Not gross. H-”

Joan slapped her hands back over her ears.

Which was a big mistake.

“You dummy.” Aragon said when Joan keened sharply in pain. “Shouldn’t have done that.”

“It’s your fault!” Joan said miserably. She carefully rubbed the space next to her injured ear, but stopped when Aragon started to do it for her, leaning blissfully into her touch. “You’re the reason Maggie likes to tease me about having mommy issues.”

Aragon snorted. “I’m not surprised.” She said. “Now. What were you saying before?”

A blush dusts Joan’s cheeks. “Oh. Right.” She fidgets with a rhinestone on her costume. “I, umm— Well, seeing as you come over a lot— I— I got you some spare clothes.”

Aragon perked up, smiling. “Aww. That’s so sweet of you to do, Joan!”

Joan blushed harder and then scurried off to go change while Aragon started to make their lunch. She changed soon after, and then they sat down on the couch with their grilled cheeses.

“How’s your ear feeling?” Aragon asked as Joan was flipping through Netflix (technically, it was Aragon’s account. Of course Joan wouldn’t by her own—financial anxiety and all. And of course Aragon had to share with the girl!)

“Better,” Joan said, then touched it tentatively. “But it’s kinda, like...ringing.” She curled into Aragon’s side. “I don’t like it.”

“I’m sorry, baby girl,” Aragon wrapped her arms around Joan and she marveled at how perfectly she fit, as if that spot had been shaped by the universe just for the girl. She didn’t think even Mary had fit that well.

It was a sign, she realized: This is where this girl should stay. In your arms. Forever.

Aragon smiled. She liked the sound of that, even if she knew it would definitely be questioned by other people. They wouldn’t be able to wrap their heads around her loving some anxious mess of a music director more than her birth daughter she had fought tooth and nail to be with all those centuries ago. But it was hard to feel a sliver of love towards Mary after hearing about the horrors she’s done—she was just ashamed. Ashamed to be her mother, so she disconnected herself from the bloody ties of her child and went searching for someone who needed her more.

And that’s how she found Joan. Her perfect, weird little moon. Every inch nervous and shy, with so much room to be loved, and everything Mary would never ever be.

Sorry, Mary, Aragon thought with a chuckle, imagining her daughter throwing a fit in her place in hell.

She snuggled Joan closer and set her chin on her head. She felt Joan lean in closer and she smiled lovingly.

“So, what are we watching?”

#six the musical #six the musical fanfiction #six the musical fanfic #six fanfic #six fanfiction #catherine of aragon #tour catherine of aragon #joan on the keys #tour joan on the keys #tour anne boleyn #tour jane seymour #tour anna of cleves #tour katherine howard #tour catherine parr #tour maggie on the guitar #uk tour fanfiction #six uk tour #uk tour six #tw: blood #disarming voice

[qtyanan]

Flashback

Summary: “You and Mark hadn’t seen each other in years. Now he’s famous, and you didn’t think he’d recognize you.”

Pairing&Rating: NCT Mark Lee + female reader ; FLUFF, slight angst

a/n: this is longer than expected, and super sappy, and it took me forever to finish it... but wow, soft mark hours are REAL and im gonna cry over him gn

“Where do you think we’ll be in five years?” 

“Mark, it’s like 3am, I thought you were asleep.”

“Well, you’re not asleep.”

You blindly reach towards Mark in the darkness, trying to hit him with a stuffed animal, causing him to snicker. Weekend sleepovers together were pretty normal, sleeping in the same bed wasn’t a worry from your parents since you’ve known each other for so long. Mark randomly saying things and asking questions about the past or future in the middle of the night was more common than sleeping

“Really, though. Do you think we’ll still be friends in five years?”

“I don’t know, probably,” you weren’t really sure on the answer, but you didn’t really have doubts. You two had been friends are as long as you can remember - classes, clubs, and sports were taken on as an unstoppable duo. Now you’re in eighth grade, half a year away from high school, and you’re closer than ever. It seems like nothing could tear you apart - and you liked it that way.

“I bet we will. I hope so, at least,” his voice sounds so sincere, it seems as if he had been thinking deeply on it for a while before he spoke of it. 

“Yeah, me too.” With that, he let out a delighted chuckle, and you both fell asleep. 

It had been six years. Six years and that conversation still plays in your mind late at night when you can’t sleep, painfully missing your favorite childhood friend. 

Not even a month after that sleepover, he moved away, seemingly never to be heard from again. All of your friends in class pestered you about where he went, and it only upset you more - because he didn’t tell you he was leaving. 

Him becoming a kpop star was probably the last thing you thought would happen to him; it was quite a slap in the face. BTS got you into kpop, then EXO, GOT7, now you’re into many different groups, including NCT. When you found them, and saw your prepubescent best friend, all grown up, dancing and rapping, you thought it was a dream. 

Now they’re on a world tour, and Canada is one of the stops. You could never pay for a fansign ticket, but finally, you managed to save the money to be able to attend. 

There were so many people around you. Many had some kind of merch, a lightstick or a sign. You could even count maybe 5 girls crying about meeting NCT. 

Your hand was in your pocket, nervously sweating and gripping your ticket - second row, 5th seat. In your other hand, was a baby pink gift bag with a little stuffed animal in it. Years ago, Mark had left the little bear at your house, and it seemed like a nice time to give it back to him. The wait in line outside seemed to take forever, and it added to your anxiety. 

You couldn’t understand why you were so anxious. He was your best friend, shouldn’t you be happy to see him? But you were so scared - what if he didn’t remember you? What if you went up to meet him, and he doesn’t even look twice? If you told someone, would they believe you? Of course not. The negatives in this situation made it hard for you to breathe. 

The girls sitting next to you on either side both shifted excitedly. One had a mask on and didn’t turn your way, but the other smiled at you. 

“Who’s your bias?” She asks, and you couldn’t control your smile. “Mark,” you say, and she smiles and nods. It was hard not to bias him, since you knew how he was off camera. 

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’s my bias too, he seems like such a sweetheart!” She squealed in delight, causing you to blush a little bit. 

This is it. As your row stood up and walked towards the fansign table, you felt like you could pass out. Yes, you were so excited to say hello to the other members, but it was almost the moment of truth - and you could only think of the bad. 

As you took the seat in front of Mark, he didn’t look up at you at first. For that half second, you really admired him. He looked so grown up, you realized just how long it’s been. You suddenly felt a wave of so many emotions wash over you.

“Hi! What’s your name?” 

“Y/N” 

He had his sharpie in his hand, your album in the other, ready to sign it like everyone else - but he obviously froze. Your stomach dropped, gulping hard. He slowly looked up at you, his eyes wide and mouth open. You almost really did cry, but then,

“Y/n... [your full name]..?” He went quiet, and you smile, nodding at him, trying to hold back your tears. 

“Hey, Mark, long time no see,” You chuckle, trying to joke so you don’t actually cry. 

“Wow, yeah, oh my gosh, how have you been!?” He said quickly then started scribbling something on the inside of the album cover. You laugh at his awkwardness, shrugging at the question with a little “eh.” 

“Here, I brought this for you.” You put the gift bag on the table, causing him to raise a brow at you. “It’s actually yours, from forever ago..” He looked inside the bag, and you noticed him take a big breath. He looked at you with big, glassy eyes - he felt this emotion too, he never thought he would see you again, or if you would even know where he was. 

“Y/n... I’m sorry I didn’t tell you-” He spoke quietly, but you were being pushed along to the next member by the manager and the girl next to you. You gave Mark a small smile, then shifted over to Johnny.

“Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.” Johnny gives you a little smile, causing you to blush madly. You glance over at Mark, who’s blushing as well, and he gave you a quick glance with a happy smile. 

When you finally arrive home, the day seemed like a dream. It was late at night, the drive home was only an hour, but you were tired. You kept playing the day in your head - he recognized you. Right away. That alone made you happy, but what you wouldn’t give to spend more time with him. 

Oh yeah, he signed your album, but you didn���t look at it yet. When you opened it, you knew his writing - his signature, and then... a number? He wrote ‘Whatsapp’ in messy letters. Of course, you message him right away, hoping at this hour, he’d answer.

And he did. All you said was ‘hey.’ 

‘you still live in the same house, right?’

‘yeah, why??’

‘go to the park, i want to see you’

Your heart was beating in your ears. You didn’t think it would lead to that, but at the same time you expected it. It was late, yes, but you hurriedly slip your sneakers back on and go back out to your car. 

You remember the park of course. It was mostly fields and trees, but you two would sneak out and play on the swings when you were younger. The last time you two went, Mark fell off his bike and hurt his ankle, so you had to call your mom and you two got in trouble. As you were driving, you snickered thinking about it. 

But... You couldn’t help but to feel nervous. It had been years, you didn’t think at all that you were ever on his mind. 

There wasn’t a single car on the road. The air was a bitter cold, it had snowed when you were on your way home, but none of it stayed on the ground. Every time you stopped at a red light, your stomach would turn again. You tried to calm yourself, but for some reason, it was just hard. You didn’t realize that you missed him this much. Now he had asked you to meet up at your childhood hangout place, and none of it seemed real. 

The gates to the park were closed, and a padlock kept them shut. You knew it would be like that, so you parked down the street and cut through the trees to the lonely swing set. You looked around, you didn’t see anyone. But, sitting alone on a swing, was a single person. In the bright moonlight, you could just barely make out that it was Mark. His back was turned to you, and you could see that his head was hung low, and he was holding himself from the cold. 

“Hey, Mark Lee,” Your voice startled him, but he stood and turned to face you. You couldn’t read his expression in the dim light. Neither of you walked closer for a moment, and the tension in the air made your shoulders go rigid. He didn’t say anything for a bit, he just stared at you. 

“You look exactly the same.” He finally said, taking slow steps towards you. You look away, afraid to see the look in his eyes now that he’s close enough to see it. His words oddly made you feel warmer, but you still shivered when the wind blew. 

“That’s surprising, it’s been six years.” You didn’t mean for your words to sound bitter, but they did. You hear him take in a heavy breath, and when he says nothing, you finally look up at him. His brown eyes glistened in the moonlight, and the shadows on his face made him look mature and defined. “You look different, though.” You say, a dry laugh following. “Older.”

“Well, it’s been six years.” He mocks you in the joking way, and you couldn’t hide your smile. This makes him smile as well, and while you looked away again, he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“It’s been... six years...” He sounds breathless this time, like it finally settled on him how long it’s been. This forces you to look back up, and he now has a sad smile. His eyes are apologetic, same as when he tried to speak to you at the event. In a way it hurt you. His face holds pain in the situation, but in a way, this was his doing.  He was the one that left to be an idol. You didn’t hold that against him, but you were still upset that he left without telling you. You didn’t think that you two were ever going to part, and you still can’t believe that now his life has gone so differently from yours. He seems to be having an amazing life, but you’re lonely without him, and for some reason... mad.

But the way he looked at you, you didn’t show your anger - it melted away when he put his hand on your arm. 

“I’ve missed you, Y/n. You don’t have to believe me, but I think about you all the time.”  You wouldn’t believe him normally, but even Johnny said it.  “Y/n, huh? Mark talks a lot about you.”

You chew on your lip nervously, you have no idea what to say to him. What does a person do in a situation like this? You just stare at him for a moment. He’s closer to you now, and you see just how tired he is. His blonde hair is messy, different from how you saw him earlier. 

“Are you okay, Mark? You look... so tired.” 

“Mark, please, calm down.” Johnny tries to make Mark sit down, but the younger is pacing across the hotel room, almost pulling out his own hair.  “I am so stupid!! How could I not have said more?! It’s been years and I barely said anything!! She probably hates me for leaving...” Mark’s almost on the verge of tears as he speaks frantically, and all he wants to do is scream.

“She came today, so she doesn’t hate you. Just talk to her some more-” 

There’s a ding from Mark’s phone. He quickly picks it up, then looks at Johnny. 

“It’s Y/n. Oh god, what do I say?!” 

“Maybe you should go and see her. You said we’re pretty close to your hometown right?” 

“Yeah...yeah! But how will I meet her anywhere?” 

“I’ll drive you, just tell her to meet you somewhere.” 

The moments that happened before he came here played in his head, but he said nothing to you about it. He just gave you a small smile and shrugged his shoulders. 

“I just haven’t been sleeping well. Surprise, surprise, right?” You just give him an awkward smile. This made you chuckle. He’s always had trouble sleeping, he used to tell you how his mind was moving too fast for him to fall asleep. He always wanted to listen to soft songs to sleep, or he would ask you to sing along to a song you knew well. 

“I guess things like that will never change.” You say, and for some reason, your words lingered in the cold air for a moment. Without any thought, you put your hand over Mark’s, feeling how cold his fingers are. You took both of his hands into your jacket sleeves, something you used to do as you two waited for the school bus during winter. 

He feels another wave of emotion flood over him, and this time, he can’t seem to keep the tears away. He sucks in a shaky breath, looking down at your hands.

“Mark...” You feel this aching pain in your chest at seeing him like this. 

“I-I’m sorry, Y/n...” His voice cracks, and he can’t bring himself to look up at you.

“Mark, look at me.” Your voice is soft but stern enough for him to obey, his body relaxing slightly at the sweet look in your eyes. “I’m not mad at you. I never was.” You tell him, holding on tightly to his hands now. 

“R-really?”

You can see his tears glistening in the moonlight, and you release one of your hands to wipe his cheeks. He flutters his eyes closed, resting his face against your hand.

“Really, Mark. I’m so proud of you. I just want you to be happy.” 

His lip quivers at your words, and he closes his eyes tightly. “I’m not happy. Not without you being my best friend.” 

The feeling his words gave you made you want to burst into tears, but instead, you threw yourself into his chest, wrapping your arms around his neck. He doesn’t hesitate to hold you, gripping your jacket with a death grip, as if he knows you’ll disappear any second. You stand in silence for what feels like forever. His embrace doesn’t loosen at all, and you’re okay with it. You miss his hugs, his smell and his warmth. He’s taller and more muscular now, making the way he holds you make you feel even warmer. 

“Please... keep contact with me, okay? Please...” You say into his shoulder, feeling a little ridiculous that you begged him like that. He takes a deep breath into your hair as if imprinting your smell into his soul.

“I promise, Y/n. I don’t want to leave you again. God, I’ve missed you so much...” He loosens his arms around you just enough to be able to look you in the eye, watching how the moon and stars seemed to be held in your eyes. 

The thought of being able to see and talk to him more made a weight lift off your shoulders. A happy smile forms on your face as you nod at him, and he nods back. 

“So, uh... I had to sneak out to see you... I should probably get back before my manager kills me.” He awkwardly chuckles, but even with saying that, he doesn’t let you go - God please, not yet, just a little longer.

“Yeah... My mom might kill me if she finds out I’ve stayed out so late.” You giggle, making his chest warm up. You wouldn’t believe how much he has missed your laugh. 

“I’ll text you, okay?” He finally lets go of you, and you shiver from the cold air once again. He nod at him, waving goodbye to him as he runs to Johnny’s car. You stand there for a moment, watching as they pull away. It takes a moment for you to actually comprehend what just happened, and you ended up standing there for almost 5 minutes.  Your phone chimes, and you look down to see another message from Mark.

‘get home safe. I love you, dork.’ 

bitch im so fkin soft 

#mark lee #mark lee scenarios #mark lee fluff #nct #superm #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct one shot #kpop #mark lee au #nct dream #nct u #nct 127 #kpop writing

[hejer-maomao]

Hewo everyone! ｡◕‿‿◕｡ Guess who’s back to her hellish university and is feeling like dying once again? Yep, same as each year, it’s your girl over here!

Jokes aside, I’ve been SO damn busy lately, I’ve barely had any time to properly sit down and respond to my asks. However, today’s update is a little... special.

It’s actually going to be my very first work in the MLQC fandom!

I’ve been dying to write something for this splendid game for some time now but I never gathered enough courage to do so. And when I finally asked my lovely soulmate @shizenushi for some advice, she immediately encouraged me to write what I desired and even made her personal request, a fiction in the MLQC fandom! 

And who am I to refuse my wife’s request? Her wish is my command.

I hope you enjoy the result! Do tell me what you think, if you want to see more of my writings for MLQC! I’ll consider opening up requests exclusively for it maybe? We’ll see!

Victor, Gavin, Kiro and Lucien: Kisses/Hugs/Special Touch:

Victor:

Hugs or Kisses?

Neither.

Victor is not exceedingly touchy or overly affectionate, at least when it comes to public settings. Tender kisses and warm hugs are often kept behind closed doors, as Victor is not keen on displaying the intimate side of your relationship for all to see. You are his after all, and he's too possessive to let anyone see how red your cheeks get when he claims your lips or how you slightly tremble between his arms every time he tightly embraces your figure.

However, this does not mean that Victor's affection is absent altogether. It's subtle, faint but it is still there. It's a hand on the small of your back to gently guide you among crowds. It's the soft smile that grazes his lips whenever you smile brightly at him, eyes twinkling in pure happiness. It's the way he never fails to wrap his long, slender fingers around your wrist every time he senses your anxiety or nervousness, silently promising that he's there for you, and he's not going anywhere. It’s everywhere. It’s there every step of your way, providing you with the strength you need to move forward and with the reminder that you are loved. Incredibly and passionately so.

Special touch?

Sleepy touches.

Every time you doze off, your head nestled against Victor’s sturdy chest,his hands will automatically seek your skin. As if all of the affection he held off during the day finally broke free, Victor will thread his fingers into your hair, poke at your cheeks, caress your thighs and whisper into your ears. Any exposed patch of your skin will be pampered and spoiled with attention. Victor’s touch is feather-light, not enough to wake you up from your sleep, but unyielding enough to satisfy his hunger for you and maybe even make you softly moan in your sleep. Victor is just too careful not to let you catch him in the act, and you will lose your head trying to prove that you felt his hands touching your body the whole night. This man will deny it with all of his might til the end of the world, but even your suspicions won’t stop him from doing this all over again every night.

Gavin:

Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs.

Gavin loves absolutely nothing more than to hold you within his arms, bury his face in the crook of your neck and stay there even if the world crumbled around you. The minute he sees you walking down the stairs of you apartment to meet him, Gavin has already his arms wide open to tenderly embrace you before even uttering a proper hello. The last thing he never fails to do when it’s time to separate for the night is to pull you closer to his chest and rest his head on top of your head, chuckling in satisfaction each time you complain how heavy he is. Hugs allow Gavin to feel your warmth, sense your steady heartbeats against him and your warm breath in his ear. Every time he holds you, Gavin’s tense muscles and anxious nerves instantly relax. You’re there. You’re fine, and you’re with him. And nothing can make him any happier.

Special touch?

Holding hands.

It might sound too mundane and common, but Gavin simply adores holding hands with you. He loves it. He loves how warm your skin feels against his, how your hand fits perfectly into his own, as if it was made just for him. He likes to be connected with you, while walking, while talking, while doing nothing at all. Only when your hand is in his, the wind surrounding you both, gently playing with the strands of your hair, does Gavin feel at peace 

Sometimes, Gavin would let go of your hand only to caress your palm, tease your fingers one by one, and tenderly kiss your knuckles. He adores looking at your reaction every time he does it, likes it when you blush and stutter, before entrusting yourself to him, drowning in all of the love Gavin pours for you.

Kiro:

Hugs or Kisses?

Both.

This man is in a state of constant thirst for your touch, in any form you offer it. Whether be it soft good luck pecks before he goes out on stage of one of his biggest concerts, or those congratulatory passionate kisses you excitedly give to him each time he wins an award, or those sleepy, sloppy good morning kisses you drop on his lips before dragging yourself out of bed to seek your cup of coffee, Kiro loves each and every one of them.

He loves your tender yet short hugs when you send him off to work, the long and tight embraces you envelop him in when he comes back at midnight to you, tired and exhausted. Kiro feels safe within your arm, loved, appreciated and treasured. 

As long as he can touch your skin and feel your warmth on his flesh, Kiro is satisfied.

Special touch?

A soft peck on your nose.

These special kisses are reserved for the days where you’re feeling so down you can barely muster up the courage to smile even at Kiro, the days where your heart feels like it’s being shredded into pieces and your demons come to haunt your every thought, leaving you feeling hollow and weak.

On those awful days, Kiro gently would cup your cheeks with his two warm palms, stare at your eyes for few long seconds before dropping a sweet peck on the tip of you nose. He then watches with absolute satisfaction as you scrunches up your nose, softly chuckling at his actions before tenderly telling him how stupid he is, all the while looking at him with so much love in your eyes, the weight on your shoulders suddenly feeling lighter, demons banished from your mind.

You believe that Kiro’s kisses are magical, and no one can convince you otherwise.

Lucien:

Hugs or Kisses?

Kisses. All types of kisses.

Whether it's a tiny peck on your cheek or a French kiss that steals your breath away, a fleeting touch of lips on your neck or an open-mouthed kiss that sends shivers down your spine, Lucien is constantly pressing his lips against your skin. His kisses come randomly and spontaneously, and you can never predict them. You can receive them first in the morning, when you're drowning between your work papers or even when you're crying your eyes out over a sad movie. No matter how good or bad you are feeling, Lucien's first reaction to console or praise you is to kiss you.

It has become such a natural routine, that you started expecting Lucien’s kisses, turning your face towards your lover once you see him walking up to you, earning you a low, amused chuckle from him as he bends down to kiss you on whatever spot he fancied at the moment.

Special touch?

Hugging you from behind.

Using his height to his advantage, Lucien would come up to you while you're applying your make-up in front of the mirror, trying (without avail) to cook him a simple dish in the kitchen, or simply staring out of the window as a small drizzle falls from the sky, and embraces you from behind, settling his chin on top of your shoulder. Lucien would hum dismissively at your questioning glance and urges you to resume your work and not pay him any attention. He's simply content by nestling his face in the crook of your neck, breathe in your soothing scent and feel your warmth surround him.

Lucien can stay like that for hours upon hours with no end in sight, following you with his arms still around you, as you move around the room completing different tasks. You got so used to these hugs to the point you didn't mind him hanging off of you anymore, and you simply let him do what he wanted, spoiling him as much as possible.

#mr lover queen's choice #mlqc #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc kiro #mlqc lucien #these were so fun to write!! #♥‿♥ #I've been wanting to expand the fandoms I write in for some time now #but it took me some time to decide since I really need to be absolutely in love with a fandom in order to do it! #and MLQC is simply too addictive! #if you guys like these I'll try my hands at more!

[lovingsiriusoswald]

“First and Last Love” [Luka Clemence x MC]

Prompt: “Don’t cry.” (not mentioned at the ask, so I randomly chose one!)

Word count: 1365 words

Warnings: Angst, may trigger anxiety or self-doubt.

Requested by: @leisel-oswald18, I hope you like this fic! Sending love your way (⺣◡⺣)♡*

Prompt List here!

******

He was as beautiful as a porcelain doll — eyes glimmering like gold underneath the sunlight, long locks of plum hair, and the sweetest angelic smile. No doubt anyone would fall for him the moment they lay their eyes on him. He shone just as bright as his brother in the ballroom, but all you could ever see is how the noblewomen of the Red Territory was fawning over his shyness. You can't deny how beautiful all of them looked, they had statuses higher than you could imagine, riches and titles that you could never have, enchanting beauty that almost made you look like a peasant if you stood beside them.

It pained you, seeing how Luka could easily be paired with one of them and they would look absolutely perfect. Not to mention the many gifts that you wanted to buy for him could be easily purchased by these women with one word. He deserved the world more than anything and you can only do so much as an average citizen.

You regretted attending the ball that the ever prestigious Clemence family had organized. Luka asked you to come with him, telling you how much your presence can make him feel at ease, knowing how he would be unable to tolerate his brother's pestering and all the unbearable fancy formalities. Of all the times Jonah's overprotective side went haywire, you wished it was right now, this moment. Right when that gorgeous woman wrapped her arms around his while smiling up at his eyes, the action completely flustering Luka.

You gulped, throat dry and tight as you watched them interact. "Why are you moping?" You let out a breathy sigh when Jonah walks towards you, a disapproving frown on his doll-like features. "This is a party, for goodness sake, you should be enjoying yourself."

"Thanks for the warm welcome, appreciate it." You mutter quietly under your breath as you take a sip from the lovely red wine that was offered to you since you first came. You didn't need his harsh criticism of your etiquettes and behaviour, he didn't need to add more fuel to the flame that burned your heart to ashes.

Jonah notices that you weren't your usual self — the sassy, joyous, child-like attitude he remembers disliking you for. He followed the direction of your gaze and finally sees the distasteful women who threw themselves off his little brother's feet. He was about to speak his mind when you suddenly stood, a quiet huff escaping your lips. "Excuse me, I'll go get some fresh air."

He watched you leave the ballroom, his features softening to worry and he immediately understood what was bothering you. He sighs, admitting a thought to himself despite his dislikes. I'd prefer my dear Luka to be with her, rather than these snobbish, title-glory women.

He made his way towards him, determined to help you in hopes of being able to get closer to his beloved brother. A path parted in his direction, men and women alike bowing in front of him and praising him as the Queen of Hearts. Luka notices this and the noblewomen that once surrounded him makes their way in front of Jonah, the disgust growing apparent on his face. "Leave my sight." He says with authority, catching the ladies off guard.

"But, we would love to talk to you, Queen Jonah—" A noblewoman starts but he pushes himself past them and Luka's frown meets his gaze. Jonah's face melts to a loving smile as he reaches out to hold the shoulder of his brother, but he swats his hand off before he could.

"I told you, I never wanted to be in this party." He mutters under his breath. "They're always like this." He glances over the women who were in a safe distance from them, talking amongst themselves.

"Why don't you get some fresh air outside?" He suggests, hoping he would listen to him. "Alice is outside thinking.. bad thoughts. You should go help her." Jonah found it difficult to say what he wanted to say, he still disliked you after all, but you meant the world to Luka, and he was more than willing to help the woman who promised to make him happy forever.

Luka's eyes grow wide and his feet had already taken a few steps away from Jonah, but he stopped and turned to him. He was frowning and his cheeks had a faint tint of pink, "Thanks for letting me know." He muttered.

Jonah was internally screaming in joy when Luka left the ballroom.

Luka knew exactly how you thought, the same thoughts would whirl in his mind when you're too close with another soldier or gentleman. He knew how you felt and you knew his. It was a match made in heaven, as they would often say about them. You knew exactly how to ease his thoughts and how to make him feel better, but he was a few feet away from you when he suddenly realized, how can I make her feel better?

You were startled when someone leans against the terrace beside you. You meet the gorgeous amber eyes that held so much love for you, it almost didn't feel real. "Surprisingly, Jonah told me you were here." He smiles down at you, but you were already in too deep in your thoughts, you only looked away.

"I love you." He whispers gently and slowly near your ear when he leaned in. The words startle you and your sadness starts to spill from your eyes, your brave facade finally breaking from the long, dreadful night. "Don't cry, darling." His thumbs wipe away the tears that stained your cheeks. "You are my first and last love. You can never compare to them." You finally look at him and he had the most angelic smile that radiated warmth through your cold heart. He pulls you towards him to a warm embrace, gently swaying the both of you as you clutch onto his coat jacket.

"I didn't get to say it enough, but you look absolutely gorgeous. I'm sorry for not showing how much I adore you, its difficult sometimes — the words get all tied up in the air." He chuckles, the vibrations on his chest comfort you to listen to his words. "When you first went out of your room with this lovely gown on, I was so close to losing control of myself. Your lovely hair was styled so elegantly and clean, I could see your beautiful face so clearly. Your gorgeous smile was so bright and beautiful as well, outshining the necklace you're wearing tonight. God, I don't think I could properly describe just how lovely you are." His hands ghosts over the bare skin of your shoulders, sending shivers down your spine. He places a gentle kiss on top of your head, raking his long fingers down your hair. He slightly pulls away from you, his index finger placing itself underneath your chin and he softly tugs it upwards, making you look at the golden eyes that only looked at you with passion, desire, and love.

"I know I say this a lot, but you're such an amazing woman. I still don't know how your heart could choose someone like me, but I'm grateful to be the man that gets to take care of you. I would never dare trade it for anything or anyone. You're.. you're worth so much more than the titles and riches the women inside could ever have. You're my world, and I love you more than you could imagine."

You pull him to another tight hug, hiding your sobbing mess against his chest as he holds you close. You adore him, he was an angel blessed upon you and he saved you from the whirlwind of chaotic insecurities that almost clouded your judgement. His mere presence was enough reassurance that you needed, and it completely swept you off of your feet when he speaks about his thoughts and love for you. He was yours, and you were his — you were sure now. Nothing could ever drift you two apart from each other. "I love you so much, Luka." You say in between sobs, your anxieties finally melting away.

******

Luka is an angel and I love him more than anything, his sweet and loving personality would save me effortlessly when things get too dark (T⌓T)♡

Requests are still open btw! ♡

#luka clemence #ikemen series #ikemen revolution #ikerev #ikerevo #fanfiction #fic #fanfic #ficlet #ikerev ficlet #ikerev fanfic #writing prompt #prompt #fic prompt #fic request #ikemen kakumei #clemence brothers #wowowow soph is writing #luka clemence x reader #luka clemence x alice #luka clemence x mc

[sparklessswift]

19 Things I've Learned in 2019

1. “The desire for positive experience is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience.” — Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck)

I always thought that "How To Be Happy" things on the internet are true and those things can really change your life if you will try to do so. But while reading this book, I've realized that it's not. That the irony behind thinking of ways to be happy and positive just reminds us of what we are not and of what things we failed to have that we've always wanted. The more we try searching for ways on how to be happy, the more we can't attain happiness.

2. The quality of your life depends on the quality of your choices and decisions.

I've learned that you are the only one who's accountable for everything that you choose to do, for every thoughts that you entertain and for every decisions that you make. The quality of your life is shaped on whatever you want it to be. Whenever you feel like you're carrying a huge amount of emotional baggage, it's because you chose to carry it anyway. You chose to entertain the melancholia, you chose to let it enter your life. Do not blame your situation or even other people. Change the way you see things, make good decisions and choices and the quality of your life will be better.

3. Music is a form of enlightenment towards our true emotions.

I found out that longing to hear sad songs that we can relate to whenever we are feeling sad isn't a sign of tolerating sadness, it means we are trying to fill the gap between what we know and what we feel. Finding the perfect song that explains exactly the way we feel helps us figure out the right words to describe our current emotion. It makes us feel that we are not the only one in the world who's suffering. It's relieving to be so connected to a song that you feel as though, it was written for you.

4. Forgiveness is a nice thing to do.

There are times when we feel as though, people and even ourselves are not worthy to be forgiven and that no amount of apology will cease the burning fire. But one thing I do learned this year is that, forgiveness means letting go. Do yourself a favor and let go of the bad memories, what's important is that you took it as a learned lesson. Let go of the grudges that you kept for so long, it will give you a peace of mind. Let go of the idea that forgiving without hearing an apology is not necessary in life, it is. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you've done in life and forgive those people who have hurt you as well. Release the pain by forgiving so you can finally move on.

5. Self loathe is the most toxic form of hate.

I've learned that there is nothing more toxicating in life than hating your own existence and body. It's like badly wanting a poisonous thing even when you know it is bad for you. It's like loving the lyrics to Taylor Swift's song "ME!" because it radiates self-love but there's always a cringeworthy feeling whenever you sing the words "I'm the only one of me, baby that's the fun of me" because you can't feel the message it conveys. And it feels like, no amount of motivation from other people can cure the poison in you. I know it's easier said than done but remember that only you can free yourself from self loathing so might as well start appreciating small things about yourself and sooner or later you will realize that it's fun to be the only one of you.

6. Being 18 is challenging. While it may be true that each year has its own challenge, being 18 is quite different. It's the time when your mind starts forming questions about life, existence, and future. It's like a climax to your own story, exciting as it may seem but it contains setbacks, challenges and a hundred thousand pieces of inspirations needed in order to thrive harder. In order to believe that you can pursue your dream of reaching the happily ever after.

7. Appreciate high school moments while they last. Realizing how fast the time has flown after my journey in high school is something I wish I was ready for. Funny how we're so attached to a moment from the past (e.g. graduation) that everytime we remember it, there's this bubble of thoughts appearing in our heads with the line “it felt like yesterday” and it feels so bittersweet. If there's one thing I can teach the other generations, it is to always appreciate each moment while it lasts. After all, moments will become memories that will forever be stuck in our head so might as well enjoy your high school life and make good memories out of it.

8. We are all temporary in everyone else's lives and that's normal. It feels relieving when you realize that each person that we meet has a temporary role in our lives. We are bound to lose connection with someone whom we thought will never leave us, we're bound to cut ties with people who are not good for us, and we're bound to be left behind or leave not because we want to but because we just crossed paths with each other, we aren't really travelling the same path not as what we thought we are. Learn how to appreciate someone's presence and learn how to accept someone's absence.

9. Do not drown yourself in the thought that internet validation is important. It is definitely okay to dump the idea that you're living in the wrong generation if you think likes/reactions, comments and shares are not important. Most people today still haven't come to realize that the internet has not just open-sourced information, it has also open-sourced insecurity, self-doubt, and shame. And we have to open our minds about it. Life is happier the moment you realize that you should not give a damn about what other people think of your posts.

10. Do not jump on hate trends in social media just because it's in. Cancel culture has made a noise in the internet this year and suddenly everyone are bragging their freedom of speech because they are jumping on the bandwagon (or should I say, we're? 😂) But one thing I do learned from all the hate trends is to be discerning. This is the best time you can practice cherry-picking and only utter a word when you think you really need to or when you think it is appropriate to do so. Just as Taylor Swift said, “You just need to take several seats and then try to restore the peace and control your urges to scream about all the people you hate”.

11. Being attached to someone does not mean you're into that person. Attachment is way too different than love and even infatuation. It needs not to be stereotyped. Sometimes all you have to do is to give yourself the benefit of the doubt about how you feel and you will realize the true value of a person to you.

12. The hardest struggle in life that we can ever experience is something that is related with our family. Indeed home is where the heart is. Family is our major source of inspiration and it can also be our major source of distraction whenever there are unforeseen circumstances going on. And I think dealing with those circumstances is the hardest struggle to face because there will always be a pain in your chest wherever you go that is inevitable. The pain that lies deep within you but bleeds through the surface of your body that you can't hide.

13. College is way too different than high school and you should be ready for it. Of course, culture shock will always be there the moment you enter college. You will start comparing high school and college in every single details, you will randomly reminisce high school memories while walking in the hallway and you will remember how easy passing the exams and getting high grades back then. In my first semester in college, I've learned that you will never survive if you are ill-spirited, proscrastinator, lazy and weak student. I've learned that college is survival and in survival, you should not come with unnecessary gears. I'm sorry Taylor Swift but in college, you should not bring a knife to a gun fight.😃

14. It's okay to have few friends atleast they are real. Making friends is hard and no one can convince me otherwise. People's intentions to you are confusing nowadays and it's hard to trust another set of new people. I've realized that the amount of friends has nothing to do about how you enjoy your life. What's important is that you have friends who are honest as the day is long.

15. Listen more, say less. This year I've learned the value of lending ears to those who are in need of it and even to situations that require much understanding before saying an opinion to avoid any conflict.  Do not be easily carried away by your emotions to the extent that you're no longer thinking if what you are going to say is appropriate to the situation. On the other hand, there are times that people who are venting out their problems do not need any piece of advice, what they need is someone who is understanding enough to spend time listening to their rants.

16. Things that are gonna make your life more interesting are things that you should say yes to. — Taylor Swift

Progress doesn't come in the blink of an eye. You need to challenge yourself to do new things in order to make a progress. It is even more okay to step out of your comfort zone sometimes in order to grow. Life will be more interesting when you accept challenges with conviction.

17. Follow accounts on social media who are good for your mental health. Do yourself a favor and start unfollowing accounts that triggers your anxiety, insecurity and self-doubt. Your feed should only contain things that motivates you and people that inspires you to be like them. It should not be a place to start who-did-it-better or who's-best-at-life competitions.

18. Acceptance takes time. I have learned that it is okay to still question things that happened to you 6 years ago. It's okay to still cry everytime it pops up in your head, it's okay if you are not a hundred percent healed and it's okay to have a mind with not enough understanding about the situations that you've been to even if it happened a long time ago. God put you there for a reason. You have to keep in mind that acceptance has no definitive time frame. Healing doesn't wait for you to be ready for it. It will just happen.

19. Procrastination can ruin your goals in life.

There will be no further explanation, there will just be procrastination. 😎

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