#I really do think that people should understand and be ok with the fact that

[where-theres-smoak-2]

I was watching a reaction on YouTube to dune part 2 and when I looked at the comments section there were a few people saying that they didn't understand why chani was angry and felt betrayed at the end of the film, that she should have recognised that Paul's proposal was political and been OK with it. Honestly I was a bit flabbergasted because how do miss the point that badly, how do you get to the end of the movie and not understand why chani is so angry and why she feels betrayed by paul?

Like to me it's very obvious why she's rightly upset and heartbroken and it actually has little to do with paul proposing to irulan, like chani knows it's political and this isn't a jealousy thing, its what the action represents, that paul is making a play for more power. Throughout the film paul makes a series of statements or you could even call them promises that he then breaks.

The first is that he is not the mahdi and that he doesn't want to lead the fremen. He says this at least twice, the first time after his mother drinks the water of life and the second after he and chani make love. He then breaks this promise at the war council when he publicly declares himself the Lisan al gaib and says he will lead them to paradise, making himself their leader.

Speaking of when they made love, in that scene he also promised her that he would always be with her, as long as he breathed, then when he drank the water of life he risked her losing him, she went through that moment of grief and trauma when she thought he was dead. Also he couldn't guarantee before drinking the water that he would survive it, so understandably, she is angry about him taking that risk.

He also promised her that he didn't want power and then he grasped for power again and again, he took on the family atomic arsenal, he took control of the fremen fundamentalists, he made a grab for the throne of the Known Universe when he proposed to the Princess, this was the issue that chani had with paul proposing.

Finally he promised to be her equal. Right before their first kiss she tells him that here on arrakis they are equals and what they do is done for the benefit of all. His reply, his promise to her is that he would like to be her equal but come the end of the film he has placed himself in a position of power over her and her people as the Duke of Arrakis and as Emperor of the Known Universe. Not only that but by asking for the princess' hand he has placed a foreigner, another woman in a position of power and control over chani and her people. The cherry on top is that paul also then commits her people to a holy war that most definitely does not benefit them.

I think the fact that a few of these promises made were done at vulnerably open and emotional moments between them, their first kiss, after they've just made love, makes him breaking them even more painful for her. It's like it now taints those moments because now whenever she thinks back on those moments she'll be reminded of those promises he broke.

I think the situation is so much more complicated than just the man I love has proposed to another woman and now I'm smad and I think that was made really clear in the film. If a guy made you a series of promises and then broke everyone of them you'd be upset. If that same guy had found his way into your heart, if he knew how passionately you felt about your people and how much you hated this prophecy and then still embraced the role of prophet and used your people for his own gain, you'd be upset. Him proposing to another woman was the least of her concerns. Sadly I think the only promise paul does/will keep is the last one he makes her, that he'll love her as long as he breathes, but it's not enough.

And I'm saying all of this as a die hard paulxchani fan who hopes they somehow find their way back to each other.

#paulchani #paul x chani #paul atreides #chani kynes #dune part 2 spoilers #dune part 2 #dune part two #dune part two spoilers #dune

[olderthannetfic]

I think for me, one of the big stumbling blocks I had for a long time with understanding the problem with antis and how they act is that I came from the world of anime fandom, and I have seen all the time how the idea that you're expected to be tolerant and accepting to straight men who are really into lolicon or slavery isekai or whatever in the name of "sex positivity" does in fact lead into a lot of normalization of genuine creepy IRL behavior, and ignoring red flags for those. Because I've never met a man where doing a lot of apologetics for his interest in fictional 10-year-olds as a grown man or why you just need to understand that in this fictional culture sexual slavery is totally normal etc. didn't come along with some grosser attitudes about real women in girls - look at how a ton of the guys in the first group, for instance, are always trying to argue that "Japanese culture" is actually A-OK with relationships between young teens and grown adults and it's just your mean feminist American bias that's getting in your way. (None of that shit's true about Japan, btw.) Like if it were a purely fictional-preference thing, they wouldn't be saying that about real-world relationships as well.

But see, I have literally never seen those kinds of arguments from, say, women who write fanfiction about teen/adult relationships. To me the problem with a lot of anti behavior is not just that it's pro-censorship (which I oppose on principle, I don't think any of the stuff mentioned in the previous section should be censored, for instance, much as the prevalence of lolicon in anime squicks me out) and that it's puritanical and sex-negative, but also that it goes after the wrong people. There IS a huge creeper problem in fandom but it's largely not coming from the predominantly AFAB and queer world of fanfiction and shipping, most of whom are pretty good at separating fantasy from reality. Or their "fucked up" ship might not even be "their" fantasy but just thinking a particular character dynamic is really interesting and it happens to fit into some particular "problematic" broader dynamic. Sometimes it's specifically that it's fucked up that we like, that's what makes it interesting!

But I do get uncomfortable sometimes when people take the fact that censorship is wrong, harassing people for what they ship is wrong, what you like in fiction is not necessarily what you want in real relationships.... and take it to the extreme of "fiction has no impact on reality / there is never ANY connection between what gets you off in fiction vs. real life" (I do think it's rarely an exact 1:1, but for some people there is a connection), or feeling like you're never allowed to just privately judge people for what porn they're into or they talk about or post about when they go horny on main, or decide you don't particularly want to have, say, cis men who are super into loli as a part of your social circle.

Because I've seen cases where men use that, and other people being shamed for taking issue with how they talk about it because it's not "sex positive" or "you're just like an anti" etc., to raise the temperature on what kinds of creepy and red-flag behaviors are allowed. Or like, people start to get suspicious of things these guys are doing to real people, and question themselves because they worry they're just judging them for liking loli.

I mean, is it wrong to think that a guy who is really into underage girls AND talks a lot about how culture needs to "normalize" it AND makes people feel bad for being uncomfortable with that particular interest of his, is throwing up a lot of red flags for how he's likely to view real women and girls and IRL sexuality?

Once again, I've basically never seen cases where a fanfic writer (other than in some cis-man-heavy fandoms like MLP) who is into some "squicky" dynamic feels like they have to constantly talk about it even to people who are uncomfortable, or feels like they're not "accepted" in a space where they can't constantly bring it up. Maybe they exist. But then maybe it's fair to say that behavior is creepy in a way that just peacefully shipping [whatever "problematic" dynamic] and writing and reading fic for it is not.

But I've seen people be like "a lot of you act like 'well that behavior is only problematic when cis het white men do it' well no i think you're still sex-negative if you're against ANYBODY liking it" and like I'm sorry but power dynamics matter, and HOW you talk about this and to WHOM matters and I think it's just kind of ignorant to act like there isn't a huge difference between how a lot of cis men in anime fandom talk about this shit vs. other kinds of people in fanfic fandom, and that the former is very much informed by the fact that cis men and especially cis het men have cultural power that they are throwing around in the way they influence those spaces.

--

[shieldofiron]

When I first joined this fandom in late 2022, I had some traction with some stories. And some people reached out to see if I wanted to join a discord server that was owned by a person who at the time had over 1000 followers and posted quite frequently. She was popular, though she presented herself as much more popular than she was. Let’s call her Z.

I did not connect with everyone there, in fact I was uncomfortable for reasons I will go into in a moment, but there were some people I really did connect with, and I stayed to be close to them. And then one day, my closest friend there was kicked out of the space with little to no explanation. He begged the mods and Z, formerly his close friends, and was blocked. I combed the server, but I couldn’t find anything that he did that in my opinion was worth kicking him out. Then he began losing followers and receiving many hurtful and upsetting anons on his tumblr. Angry, because I suspected they had something to do with it, I stopped posting in there and later left. I was disgusted that this was going on and they were acting to my face like it wasn’t, and still sucking up to me about my stories. He said he was worried about me believing him, believing that whatever he did, he didn’t understand what it was. But having witnessed Z’s behavior in her server I had no problem believing it was her and her friends.

Z used to find fanfiction or art of ships that she didn’t like, and @ everyone in the server to come look at it, despite knowing it was extremely distressing for some members. If you protested that you had no issue with these ships in fiction but that maybe you didn’t want to see that on a Tuesday at work in the general chat, Z and her closest friends would harass you (me) to say that it was bad, and evil. She often called for people to unfollow these artists, or block users who she had found and showed to us without any participation on our part. Despite this she frequently became interested in dead dove subject matter, but it was always ok when she did it. Boundaries did not exist to her, except for the boundaries of her taste and how she thought the world should be. Z would routinely make jokes about sensitive subjects like trans rights, and let's just say it felt like it wasn’t her place. But don’t worry, Z would say, I have friends who are [joke she had made] [from country she had insulted] so it’s fine. There’s only so many times you can hear a joke like that and not wonder why it’s being made over and over. If you were offended, everything was a joke, or there was something you didn’t understand.

This server was a deeply uncomfortable space. Many times I felt harassed over my politics, over my opinions in fiction, and it was often easier to just swallow this. When I met my friends there, they showed courage standing up for themselves and I am so glad that I found them. With them, my experiences of this fandom lightened enormously. Z and her friends had made me so paralyzed, paranoid and unhappy. I had been afraid to even talk about my race however tangentially. I was afraid to make posts against anti behavior, because they had so twisted the way I thought the Billy fandom would perceive them. Thankfully I do not think that the majority of the fandom agrees with her views.

Z apparently has been presenting harassing my friend as a misunderstanding. Perhaps the misunderstanding is that she thinks any of this is harmless. Misunderstandings can be overcome, discussed, apologized for. If someone is confused, you can explain, you can be civil. There was no discussion.

Z made no effort, except to further talk about him and others behind their backs. She never reached out to clear anything up at any time. Her excuses when she made them were frankly shocking. And she never explained to me why my friend was so dangerous, but hid behind fake apologies and more popular friends, lying to my face like things were all good. My friend made a post when he felt safe with her username and the username of another person who harassed him. My friends that I kept from that server are the bravest people I know who understand that reputation means nothing if you can’t look at your own actions with conviction. And Z went away for a time.

Until I earlier this year, I was invited to a very large Billy server. Immediately I was confused by a user I had seemingly never seen before who had me blocked. It was Z, with a new name. She had me blocked until she saw me interacting positively with a very popular artist. Then I somehow became unblocked. Which was very interesting. I came to find that she was very close friends with them or tried to be. She appeared to be very close with the owner of the server too.

I was obviously wary but who knows. People can change. I really believe that. Unfortunately I do not believe that she has changed yet.

All of her old behavior was back as was my paranoia and fear. And it appeared that, emboldened by her friendship with the owner of the server and others, she felt safe going even further. Here was finally what she had craved, a large platform and popularity to continue her previous behavior. I later came to find out that the owner of the server had her own issues with bullying others, twisting the truth, and other, much more serious things. They showed the same character that Z always did, sweet to my face and sour behind everyone’s back. Yet again people said that they worried they wouldn’t be believed. They were afraid of the fandom famous people who were their friends.

Perhaps it’s just me, but if I had been called out in the past for bullying a trans person online I would distance myself from any appearance of transphobia or bullying or lying. Not Z. She in fact announced that she would bully the mods and “everyone” in the server when people joined. I am not paraphrasing, she said he was a bully so often that it was almost comical. She openly said she was an anti when someone confronted her over AGAIN trying to publicly shame authors and create mass unfollowing campaigns. There were no or minimal consequences for this. She would casually bring up the same old jokes and dogwhistles that she used to, uglier with time, and to me pathetically stripped of anything that could have excuse them.

Nobody told me these things. I saw it with my own eyes. But still, somehow, she was the hero, the popular beloved person in every story. I was afraid because she had very powerful friends. Or at least she pretended she did. Because she was friends with a server owner who hurt people I cared about. I am still afraid now. But I’d rather do it afraid for my friends than watch this happen.

I would give up every stupid note on every stupid meme if it meant trans people, and all vulnerable people, felt safe in fandom spaces. I am tired of dishonest communication and trying to play some stupid game I never fucking cared about. If some popular person wants to crush me like a grape for believing my friends, they can go ahead and do it already.

Everybody wants to be liked, everybody wants to be believed. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But I’m done waiting for people to believe me or like me. I’m done waiting for people to wake up and take a look in the mirror. To explain and to deign themselves to listen. I believe in my friends. I believe my eyes, and I believe in my own convictions. That’s enough for me.

I believe people can change. I hope they do. But I hope they do away from vulnerable people who they can hurt carelessly.

I’m not blocking you. Clean up your own mess.

#fandom wank #but is it tho #harringrove #fandom discourse

[wild-at-mind]

After some events this weekend it made me really realise that my mum taught me the following my whole upbringing: if someone has mental health problems and/or trauma, and they treat you cruelly, then it's because of what they are dealing with and they can't help it. Instead of standing up for yourself and asking for and making sure you get treated better, you should allow them to treat you however they wish. After all, surely your love and care for them will help somehow, because you are showing them no matter what that you will be there.

....In reality, what this actually does is make you into someone who it is 'safe' for them to treat cruelly. Maybe they find it makes them feel a tiny bit better to do this. Of course, they may also feel frustrated that you just take their abuse without reacting, and as a result experiment with new ways of harming you. This is incredibly unhealthy for both parties. I had to learn this after I finally left home. (I lived at home well into my 20s because I didn't really believe I could live independently. But in the end it turned out I could. I wish I could go back and make it so I left earlier.) When I was 12 and my mum introduced me to a kid close to my age who needed a friend, just like I did, the above situation began to play out between us within a year. I endured everything he wanted to throw at me because I thought me being a friend to him was helping, and I had no one else. His unmet needs that should have been attended to by his guardians and other responsible adults were instead taken onto my 13 year old shoulders because of the absence of help for him from those people. I saw that there was no one else there for him and I really thought I was doing the right thing by setting no boundaries in our relationship. Not that I'd had much practice setting healthy boundaries at that age anyway. And also, my church indirectly taught that suffering was somehow a good thing. (Ironically my youth leader became pretty frustrated at me about my unhealthy dynamic with x and my inability to make any other friends, and was quite unkind about it. It was like he had never seen a socially stunted child before, which is odd as he claimed to have been one. I think after a certain age teenage situations start to look like unsolveable pointless drama to older people. I wish this were not the case though.)

I'm nearly 34 and I've been free of the above shit in a practical sense for about 8 years (and am now mostly free in an emotional sense, though clearly not fully or I wouldn't be writing this). It took a while to heal because I struggled with people's reactions to others who behaved like me. They often appeared to take the side of my abuser from my point of view, as they pointed out the type of way I had behaved was enabling and discouraged the other person to treat people better, maybe even made them worse. This was a major block of mine for a long time- that maybe it had all been my fault. Now I'm a bit stronger and on better meds and I can see: they weren't saying it was my fault. Just that it's not virtuous or morally good to be a full time emotional shock absorber for someone else. It's a situation that sucks, and can be difficult to break out of, but it's not a morally right way to be. And it's frustrating, and often triggering, for other people to see someone they care about being treated badly and saying no no, it's ok, they can't help it and I can take it! Now I'm on the opposite side of this dynamic when I go home and see how my mum is on full time emotional shock absorber duty for my dad. I've seen other situations where someone I cared about was being treated badly and insisted everything was fine, they don't mind, they can take it, the other person can't help it....and now I was the one wanting to express that this isn't good and it's not helping and it's not morally right!! But I know that didn't help me when I was in that situation so all you can do is offer perspective and how you see the situation from an outside place, and try and reinforce the person being harmed's humanity. But the situation with my parents is much harder because it's basically been going on as long as I can remember. My mum's excuses for why he behaves like this at home keep changing. She says things that out of context would be very offensive, such as that everyone who has anxiety must treat their family like this behind closed doors. But she has to believe that in order to cope with the way my dad treats her. (I told her it wasn't true but it won't have helped.)

The past weekend she even blamed me. I was staying over and when I asked her about the way he had spoken to her and if he always does it, she said my presence annoys him and makes him treat her worse. It is true that I don't get on with him. He's not a nice person. I'm done with the reassurances that he loves me because he's never shown it. His presence stresses me out and the eggshells everyone around him has to walk on puts me on edge. Whenever he's acting nice it feels like an act becuase you know he could say something nasty at any minute without warning, and no one will ever expect him to apologise because that's never been an expectation for him as long as I've been alive.

It was hurtful that she said that. I think my siblings also feel that way about me, that I make him worse by being upset at him and stuff. I plan to avoid him and only see other family members when he isn't there for the forseeable future. This should be possible. Though the idea that I am the family problem is very sad to me.

It wasn't until I was living away from him that I learned healthy ways to have conflict with someone you care about. I learned the difference between someone I care about lashing out in a state of mental distress, and how it can be addressed afterwards and things can return to being ok again, vs someone consistently behaving badly in a dynamic where they have never had any consequences for this. I learned what you can expect from others with regards to emotional self regulation. Most of all I learned how to manage times when I have lashed out at people I care about, and that I can make it right afterwards. It's not easy. But it's possible and I resolve to keep working at it and never get in another dynamic like the above. It makes being in contact with a dynamic like that triggering, and that's probably the main reason why I can't cope with my dad. I can't do anything about his behaviour except stay away from him I guess. I just wish things were different for my mum, and anyone else I care about who I can see is in a similar position.

#emotional abuse #tw emotional abuse #cn emotional abuse #abuse dynamics #this could read as victim blamey but please understand that it is not meant to be so #i fully understand why sometimes there's no good solution to these situations and people stay in them as the best of a few bad options #plus you really really do love them #that 'friend' of mine? i loved him dearly and would do anything for him #so i had to make up this world where everything he did was ok and it was my fault #i still get stuck in it sometimes #anyway i don't believe people who are the abuser in these dynamics are beyond help or should be condemed and shunned by all #in fact i think the best thing for them is to be surrounded by people with incredibly healthy boundaries that also care about them #who can say and enforce messages like 'i care about you but i will not allow you to treat me this way' #i never want to minimise this kind of abuse but i do want to acknowledge that much much more serious abusive situations exist #these dynamics can and must be broken in order to allow both parties to become healthier

[fatliberation]

If its ok to ask; how do you feel about fat kinks? I havent seen any fat acceptance blogs talk abt it. /genq

I know it's a sore spot for a lot of fat liberationists (and yes, I'm quite familiar with why so please do not take to my inbox), I think people are scared to talk about it. personally, I think it is crucial that people with fat kinks are able to access fat liberation spaces so long as they leave the kink at the door. I say this not only because the majority of them are fat people, but because that community is steeped in a deep shame and feeling of brokenness for taking delight in fatness and/or weight gain, which perpetuates rampant fatphobia. and fat liberation is what will heal those wounds. I don't understand it when fat activists tell kinksters/fetishists/feedists, whatever you want to call them to stay out of the fat liberation movement. because what is the alternative? do you want them against the movement? that doesn't make sense at all. I think people are so uncomfortable, disgusted, or afraid of this community they don't understand, that they just wish they wouldn't exist. they aren't going away. kink is akin to sexuality, to identity, to queerness. I think what people really mean when they say feedists should stay out of fat lib is, "kink should stay within spaces designated for kink." we aren't talking about kink when it comes to who can belong in a movement, we are talking about people. it is wrong to equate every person who has a kink or a fetish to a predator. it causes very real harm to those people, because they internalize that message that their kink makes them a bad person who is inherently worthless, who has to hide. if feedists aren't welcome in fat liberation, they aren't welcome anywhere.

I think that people who love fat people, love feeding people, love their own fat bodies, who see their fattest selves as their most satisfying selves, would be natural allies to this movement once they find their way to it and feel safe and accepted here. I want to make it absolutely clear that ANYONE is welcome on this blog as long as they aren't harassing or harming anyone. so many of my followers and biggest supporters are kink blogs. some of my closest friends and fat liberationist allies are feedists. I know feedists who are way more educated and passionate about fat lib and body politics than most people I've met. I don’t wish for anyone to feel alienated on my blog - especially fellow fat folks and fellow fat allies. we are 100% FAT POSITIVE AND SEX POSITIVE on this blog, babey‼️

In fact I feel really glad when I see fat kink/feedism blogs engaging with my content bc it means that person is putting the work in to understand systemic fatphobia, how to be an ally to fat people (if they aren't fat themselves), but also healing their community through education and acceptance. and HOT TAKE, BUT: when it does happen?? when feedists aren't shrouded in internalized fatphobia, shame, and isolation, and instead start embracing this innate, powerful appreciation for fatness, it's literally so fucking beautiful? and so very queer?

choosing to gain weight on purpose as an act of self creation. because it feels Right for you. gaining weight to affirm the relationship you have with your body. getting fatter because you feel so much of your identity (even gender presentation!) is attached to your fat body. feeling sexiest when you're fat. someone else worshipping that about you. giving unlimited permission to nourish yourself and/or others - and taking carnal delight in it. releasing food rules and food guilt through centering pleasure. food and fatness as an erotic and sensory experience. finding feedist partners who also have this ingrained love of fatness that can't be replicated, partners who are willing and eager to support and adore your fat body, NOT merely tolerate it. reclaiming tropes used against you through kink, and turning a loving gaze inward. saying "fuck you" to the system and choosing to take up more space in a world that consistently tries to shrink you. never denying yourself pleasure even though everyone is telling you you don't deserve it. feedism is such an interesting facet of the endless spectrum of human sexuality and I think that once people in that community find liberation and heal their relationship to the kink, it can be one of the most radical forms of self acceptance and exercising complete bodily autonomy.

I already know that a love letter to feedism coming from a fat lib blog is gonna piss people off. I'm going to lose a lot of followers, I'm going to get a lot of hate. but. kink in general is SO demonized and SO misunderstood and as liberationists we should also be open to sexual liberation. so much of this discomfort around feedism comes from a lack of education and understanding about kink in general. feedism doesn't = fatphobia in the same way that bdsm doesn't = misogyny or abuse. quite the contrary, if practiced ethically, with informed consent. every community has assholes. especially when those communities are small, ostracized, and so young that there are next to zero resources for self acceptance, safety, education, and accountability. in fact, the assholes are the ones that you're going to SEE because every respectful person is staying away and out of your business. if you've been harassed by someone with a fat kink, that is so shitty and I'm sorry that happened to you. I know it happens a lot. try to remember that what you experienced was abuse, not kink.

what consenting individuals choose to do with their bodies is entirely their business and there is nothing wrong with kink. (and I will not stand for sex-negative, puritan bullshit in my inbox, thank you very much.)

reminder: fat pleasure is fat liberation.

#inbox

[amomentsescape]

hello! Are you ok?, I hope so ❤️ (by the way, your writing is wonderful)

I would like to make a request for Yandere Slashers with an S/O who is a mermaid, who usually kills people who dare to invade her lakes, and she kills these people by drowning.

(I'm sorry if there are any writing errors, English is not my first language, and I'm writing this using Google translate)

Slashers with Mermaid! Reader

Yandere! Slashers x Reader

Includes: Freddy, Michael, Jason, Thomas, Bubba, Brahms, Norman, Billy, Stu, Vincent, & Bo

A/N: I'm doing good, thank you <3 I hope you enjoy! (Also, I decided I'm going to remove Lester from the Slasher requests. I'm still very much open to writing for him when specified, but I feel like he doesn't quite fit in with all the other Slashers).

Freddy Krueger

Meeting you was quite literally the best thing to ever happen in his undead life

He likes to team up with you, constantly coming up with different ways you both can contribute to someone's death

You pull them under, and they suddenly wake up in Freddy's world

Your dynamic is pretty ideal too

Whenever you sleep, you can visit him

And he has no issues with popping into your waters just to say hi

He does this quite often, in fact

He is very aware you can take care of yourself, but he still gets worried

You're his

He doesn't trust anyone being around you

Even if your only intention is to kill them immediately

He understands that where you are now is your home, but that won't stop him from doing whatever he can to have you live in his world

He can create the perfect environment for you

Miles and miles of nothing but water if your heart desires

Which hopefully it does

Since he isn't willing to wait much longer

Michael Myers

He never thought creatures like you actually existed

But the moment he saw your strength and darkness, he was immediately drawn in against his better judgment

He visits more often then you think

He's always around, watching

You can feel eyes on you almost 90% of the day, but you never really know where it's coming from

He enjoys watching you swim and just relax

But he especially loves seeing you drag poor souls into the tide with you

There's something so twisted and yet magical about watching you kill

But this fascination is also paired with extreme jealousy

He hates seeing you touch other people

And he almost envies the way they get to be so close to you, even if it means their demise

He hopes to find a way to take you home with him for good one of these times

You told him you loved him, so you'd be happy as long as you're by his side

Right?

Jason Voorhees

Out of all places to meet the love of your life, this one seemed especially unfortunate for Jason

But his feelings for you were strong enough to overrule his fear

He'll sit by the shore with you, hearing you talk and sing old tunes he's never heard before

He loves listening to your stories about the world underneath the current

But this always leaves him with such a deep feeling of sadness

He wants a life where you both can live together and share those memories

But he knows that's nearly impossible

He starts spending more time by the water side than the camp, finding that irresponsible teens like to be by the beach even more than the forest

You lure them in with your beauty and your words, and Jason finishes the job

He'll let you kill too if you really wish to, but he doesn't like the idea of those types of people being so close to you

He barely gets to touch you, so why should they get what he so desperately wants instead?

Thomas Hewitt

In this desert like area of Texas, Thomas has to travel quite far to see you

But the one time he accidentally stumbled upon you, he was smitten

And you surprisingly didn't turn him into another victim like all the others

He was kind to you

And now, he brings you food and stops by as often as he possibly can

You've made him little necklaces out of bones and shells

He wears every single one of them

Your bond only gets stronger each time he comes to see you

But Thomas can only take so much

Why can't you be closer?

He knows the family would love you

And he could make you so happy

His bathtub is big enough for you, he's sure of it

He knows that you won't want to leave your own home for his, but he loves you and knows what will be best for you

He's just got to be patient

Bubba Sawyer

His own family had to go on a search for him after he disappeared for a couple days

But he just couldn't help it

You make him so happy, and the more time he spent with you, the more difficult it became to leave your side

He's tried to jump in a few times to be with you, but you always persuade him out of it

He doesn't know how to swim, and you don't want him to end up like everyone else

That's when he decided that the best option would be to create your very own pond in his backyard!

That way, you could be with each other, and he would never have to say goodbye again

He hasn't told you this idea yet, but he's sure you'd be happy with it

This would also keep you from needing to kill anyone else

You're too beautiful to get your hands dirty

And it's unfair that they get to join you in the water when you won't let him do the same

He can make you super happy with his family, he's sure of it

Brahms Heelshire

He hates this dynamic between you two

He wants you at home with him so you can take care of him, and he can keep you away from everyone else

No one should get to touch you or look at you besides him

He's actually tried to drag you out of the water before, but the prospect of accidentally killing you was enough to make him stop

He never knew he could envy a body of water as much as he does

It gets to hold you, touch you, and be with you at all times

He wants that too, so desperately

Because of you, he's gone from house dweller to nature enthusiast in just a matter of days

Even when you think he's at home, he's stalking around, watching you

He insists it's to keep you safe

In fact, you haven't had to drown anyone in quite a while

And you can thank Brahms for that

The moment he sees a single soul in the area, he drags them off and disposes of them before you even have a chance to see them

He wouldn't dare let you touch another being that isn't him

Norman Bates

It honestly took him a really long time to believe that you were even real

He didn't think mermaids or sirens actually existed, so seeing you for the first time made him pinch himself to make sure this wasn't some weird dream

He also took a while to trust you since he didn't want to fall victim to your treacherous waters

But once he realized you were genuine, he dove straight in all at once

He visits you whenever he can for however long he can muster

Someone needs to run the motel, but God he wishes he could be with you 24/7

He's "jokingly" brought up the idea of you staying at the motel in a pool he could install for you

He just wants to keep an eye on you at all times

He constantly dreams of finding a way to make you human so you two can truly be together

Until you have two feet like him, it will never be enough

Billy Loomis

Doesn't tell a single soul about you

Not even Stu

And it's not because he's embarrassed or wants to see other people

He's honestly just scared that others will either think he's insane or try to capture you

Visits you every day and makes sure to pack his swim trunks so he can join you in the water

Constantly admires you and wants to run his hands along your scales

He just thinks you're all around incredible

But he has this hidden level of anger towards the situation

He wants to walk around town with you, show you off

He wants you to join him on his sprees so you can see just how powerful he can be

And he hates the idea of not having eyes on you at all times

He knows you kill anyone who isn't him, but he doesn't want you getting that close to anyone in general

He spends his nights studying ways to get you to live with him

He'll find a way to have you all to himself, even if it ends up being the death of him

Stu Macher

He actually first met you while you were seducing some poor soul to their death

And Stu was immediately enamored

He comes to see you whenever he can

He sometimes spends the weekend camping out along the shore just so he can spend more time with you

He thinks you're beautiful of course, but he can't help but fantasize what it would be like if you were human like him

You two come from very different worlds, but there's nothing that could keep you away from him

He likes to bring up the idea of mermaids and mythical creatures in casual conversations with people

How they react to it will determine whether they make his hit list

He likes to bring you jewelry and pretty objects from his victims, showing you items that you've never seen before

He talks about how one of these days, he's going to have a house built on the shore so he can be with you

And if you argue against it, he will shut down

The pent up frustration of not getting to sleep next to you every night makes his killings more brutal and his fantasies all the more darker

Vincent Sinclair

Every time he comes to see you, he brings a new portrait or wax figure of you that he made

You flood his dreams and his mind 24/7

He honestly thinks he's under some sort of spell

He doesn't mind that you aren't human like him

He's always felt very different from everyone else, so it's nice for him to have someone he relates to

But his jealousy constantly gets the better of him

Anytime you tell him of some poor soul you drowned, he can't help but feel his blood boil

Even if it ends in their death, he hates the idea of you flirting or seducing these people

The only one who should be receiving that attention is him

Barely sleeps at night

He has snuck to the shore countless time without your knowledge, just watching you and making sure your stories line up with what he observes

Is overall obsessed even more than you know

Bo Sinclair

If anyone saw you together, it would be enough to make them blush

The way you two can constantly flirt back and forth without any hesitation is otherworldly

You could have sworn he must have been a creature like you in a past life

He's so touchy when he's with you, not afraid to get his clothes wet in an effort to just be closer to you

He truly makes you feel accepted as you are and with where you live

But little do you know of his darker nature

He stalks the shore and kills off anyone that trespasses before you even have a chance to get to them

He doesn't need you looking at anyone but him

And he's already been renovating an old abandoned pool in Ambrose for you

You're going to finally be living with him like he's always wanted

You don't know this yet, but he's sure you'll be happy with the idea

It will be a great surprise

#slashers x reader #slasher preference #slashers headcanon #slashers preference #slashers #michael myers headcanons #michael myers x reader #michael myers #jason voorhees headcanons #jason voorhees x reader #jason voorhees #thomas hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelshire x reader #brahms heelshire #brahms heelshire headcanon #billy loomis x reader #billy loomis headcanon #billy loomis #stu macher x reader #stu macher #stu macher headcanons #vincent sinclair #bo sinclair x reader #bo sinclair #lester sinclair #freddy krueger #freddy krueger x reader #hannibal lecter #hannibal lecter x reader

[stickandthorn]

The way Terry Pratchett handled police in the Discworld continues to be one of the many, many things I love about his works. I certainly don’t have time to describe all the details of why he wrote such good policing, but I think the best summation of it is the arc that Sam Vimes had in many of the books.

I haven’t read all the watch books, but in the ones I have, there’s often a similar plot structure. We meet a truly detestable criminal Vimes is chasing down (think the Deep Downers in Thud, or Carcer in Night Watch). They show themselves to be truly awful people who do awful things, and they’re also just plain jackasses. They’re characters you hate to read about, the grind the audience’s gears. They also grind Sam Vimes’s gears. 

Throughout the story, they commit more and more crimes. Horrible crimes, like torturing and killing innocent people, or practicing violent religious extremism. They do things that personally target our protagonist, like go after his wife and son, or relentlessly taunt him and try to kill him and his past self. They consistently do bad things, and even as Vimes is chasing them, they do more bad things. You want them to be punished.  Finally, at the climax, we get some sort of final confrontation between the villain(s) and Vimes. In a different book, Vimes might kill the people who sent people to hurt his infant son, or tortured and killed innocent people, and the audience would probably cheer. In fact, Vimes wants to kill them. 

But he doesn’t. Every time, he suppresses the urge to enact his own justice, and he doesn’t kill them. He arrests them. Because, as he says many times, if you’ll do something for a good reason, you’ll do it for a bad. Even when there’s every excuse as to why this particular villain doesn’t deserve to live, he just arrests them. It’s not his job to decide how they should be punished for their crimes.

I think this is a masterful takedown of police brutality and Punisher style characters. Vimes isn’t a perfect person, it’s not that he could never dream of killing the bad guy. He can, and he does, often. But he never follows through, he understands why he can’t do that, so no matter how tempting it is, he doesn’t.

Because in this story, the hard boiled cynical cop truly believes in following the law. The message is always that law enforcement killing a criminal is never ok, even if they’re undeniably guilty of something truly dreadful. Hell, police brutality is personified as a millennia old demonic quasi-deity possessing Vimes, one that’s never been beaten before, but he beats it and doesn’t give in. I think that’s a really unique message in cop stories, and another reason as to why Pratchett was such a good author. 

#Discworld #Terry Pratchett #night watch #the watch #sam vimes #thud! #not cr #tw police brutality

[xiaq]

Hi, I have a bit of a personal question, so if you don’t want to answer this, I completely understand!! no hard feelings at all! long story short, I’m demisexual, and I just entered my first real relationship. My girlfriend lights me up inside in a way I’ve never experienced before, but being demi I have no sexual or romantic experience and I’m a little stressed about First Times. Do you have any tips on how to relax? Or at least how to be comfortable with that unfamiliar territory? Your little tidbits about your relationship with B really opened my eyes to my own situation, so I thought I’d maybe see if you had any tips for me. Thanks in advance!!

First: Congratulations! That's super exciting!

Second:

Talk 👏 to 👏 her👏 (!!!)

My partner and I talked A LOT before even the slightest hanky-ing of panky-ing occurred. (In fact, our first conversation about it consisted of me telling him I likely would not enjoy sex and wasn't willing to submit myself to things I did not enjoy anymore and him being like, "ok, no sex, then." Which gave me the time and inclination to feel things out further.) So, when I got to a place where I was like, "ok, conceptually, I do actually like the idea of physical intimacy with you, I'm just not sure I'll enjoy it in practice," we kept talking! I told him things I thought he should know about the past experiences I'd had that might color things we did. I told him about how anxious I was because this mattered in a way that was new and scary (because I was in real actual love and, as you might imagine, not handling it well). I let him ask questions and we made a plan to try things slowly in a low-stress, no-expectations kind of way. It was super valuable A. in making me feel like we were approaching an unfamiliar territory together rather than me entering it by myself and B. it apparently eased a lot of my partner's concern that he'd do something to hurt or scare me when he knew what was off-limits, what was ok, and what we'd need to figure out.

I'll be real with you. Our "first time" sucked. I was a nervous wreck. He called things only shortly after they'd started and was like, nope, time to cuddle and watch a movie instead. And the fact that we'd talked about this probably happening, and him confirming the initial promises he'd made that he wouldn't push me, and he wouldn't get mad if nothing sexual actually happened--that made me a lot less nervous during the next attempt. And each time was an improvement until things were, you know, better than I ever could have imagined. Fireworks. Rainbows. The whole 9 yards. It just took a lot of talking to get there.

Also, people seem to think that talking about sex-- test results, dislikes, preferences––is somehow not sexy. But I found it to be the opposite. 1. I love planning things. So knowing what "the plan" is ahead of time is very nice. 2. Talking about an action before trying it out can be... titillating. Let's say.

Anyway. Communicate! If she's as awesome as she sounds, she'll be honored and pleased to tackle the situation with you rather than being a part of the thing that's giving you anxiety.

#answered asks #cw sex #love #demisexual #mylife

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Symptoms of a System Error: The Manifestation of Myungha's Depression in Love for Love's Sake

Ok I will almost certainly have more thoughts about this when I go back to rewatch Love for Love’s Sake in the next couple weeks, but I’ve been thinking about the finale for the last couple of hours and I want to get some stuff out of my head. Before I get too far in to this, I want to say that I think most of the ambiguity in the show is brilliantly executed in a way that allows people to take whatever meaning they want to from it without contradicting each other, without stepping on toes, and without having to twist or bend the narrative beyond all recognition to  make it make sense. 

So I want to talk about the use of depression in this show, because the way Myungha exists in the world is recognizable enough to me that these moments of choice, and the system errors were extremely legible. That doesn’t mean my take is the correct one (and I honestly don’t think there is one right answer here anyway) but it’s what I got out of it, so with the needless ramble complete, let’s get to it. 

Prologue

gif by @dramascene

I connected rather quickly to Myungha as a character from right near the beginning of episode 1 because of how passionate he was about the character of Yeowoon and how much he hoped for a happy ending for that character. As someone who processes a lot of my feelings, and who understands myself better through media consumption, I was quick to appreciate the fact that Myungha recognizes the parts of himself that speak to Yeowoon and to know that because Yeowoon is fictional, he has a chance not to suffer with merely a stroke of a pen. The Author could have chosen from the beginning to give Yeowoon a happy ending, and did not because he believes that there are people for whom bad things will never stop happening. But from the perspective of a fictional story, the Author should consider who he is writing the story for. Myungha connects to Yeowoon, and it sends one hell of a tragic message for how Myungha’s life will end up if even in fiction the people who suffer have no hope of happiness. 

Myungha tells the Author that someone like Cha Yeowoon, someone like him [Myungha] with awful lives can still be happy. Looking back on that statement with the knowledge that Myungha kills himself, sends a very clear message, at least for me, of the hope that he was clinging to and finally lost his grip on. The Author asks if Myungha can change the outcome, and thus begins our story.

Debuffs

Now, I don’t know that I will have much more to say here than what @jemmo said in their very brilliant post, beyond the fact I agree with their interpretation of the debuffs. But I am thinking about the debuffs as it relates to mental health and to Myungha’s independence. One of Myungha’s first missions is to befriend Cha Yeowoon, and we see the difficulties associated with doing so when it comes to the Fondness Level meter and the debuffs that happen as a result. I love what Jess said about the dichotomy there: the debuffs mean that every time Myungha gets close to Yeowoon, something bad happens, Myungha uses that as a reason to stay away from Yeowoon to protect him when in fact, being around Myungha and increasing his fondness for him is the only way to really keep Yeowoon safe. 

gif by @dramascene

And here again there is something recognizable to me in this dichotomy. Myungha likes Yeowoon, Myungha wants to be friends with Yeowoon, every time something bad might happen to Yeowoon, Myungha is there to intervene. But Myungha is convinced that the potentially negative events that might occur during a debuff are because of him, and so he avoids Yeowoon as much as he possibly can. To me this makes the debuffs a stand in for depression symptoms. Myungha has convinced himself that he is the cause of the bad moments in Yeowoon’s day. Myungha has convinced himself that Yeowoon would be better off if they weren’t friends, because he only makes things worse. And that is not something he can easily shake off, it’s not something he can logic his way out of, that’s the game, that’s just how it is. And so he withdraws until Yeowoon comes to him. 

And honestly thinking about it, nothing bad really happens during those debuffs. The light doesn’t shatter, the boys back off on the bus, Yeowoon doesn’t punch Sangwon. Maybe the reason why nothing at all happens is because Myungha intervenes. Maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there, the light would have broken, maybe if Myungha hadn’t been there Yeowoon would have punched Sangwon. But that is not a lens that Myungha is capable of viewing himself through, that is never an option that crosses Myungha’s mind because he is too focused on feeling like the cause of Yeowoon’s problems. 

System Errors

I know there is a lot of confusion or at least uncertainty around the system errors. Why are they happening? Where are they coming from? For me, I think the answer is Myungha himself. The first time we get a system error, it’s in Episode 6, what I think is the day after Yeowoon and Myungha have their first kiss and very soon after Yeowoon and Myungha kiss on the rooftop at school. The first error isn’t subtle, but it’s not explicitly stated. Myungha walks in to a room to take a phone call and walks in to the middle of band practice, falling through the world as he tries to remove himself from the situation until he (literally) runs in to Yeowoon. Myungha goes home that night and gets his first moments in the black abyss, and the first explicit mention via pop-up of a system error. I have not gone through (yet) to track every instance of what happens before a system error pop-up occurs from that point on, but I will say moment that was most legible for me in terms of indicating that these system errors were stemming from Myungha himself were when he gets the notification both times that Yeowoon looks directly at him and tells Myungha “I love you.” 

gif by @dragonsareawesome123

That moment was a guy punch for me because I was not able to see it any other way except that Myungha is so incapable of believing that people could actually love him that someone telling him directly and sincerely that they love him cannot exist in his world. He literally cannot compute it, and thus an error occurs. Again from the perspective of depression, or trauma, or what have you, this is familiar to me. It is perhaps the most reflective part of Myungha to my own psyche. Neither of us know how to be loved. 

Myungha is called out on this repeatedly, he is nice to everyone, he does so much for everyone and refuses to ask for help himself. I’m the same way, I will bend over backwards as much as I can to help the people that I care about, but it is a rare occasion where I can ask for help myself. I’m not sure if this is the case for Myungha, but for me at least a lot of that stems from needing to make myself useful to people in some way so they keep me around. And so I end up feeling like a commodity to the people that I care about and help, and merely tolerated by anyone else that I do not help but that interacts with me any way. Myungha is called out consistently by multiple people, real or NPC about this similar habit. Myungha does not want to be a burden, Myungha only cares about other people’s happiness, Myungha is not happy himself and has maybe never been happy and so he pours everything he can in to lightening the load for others. 

He loves Yeowoon, but to be loved by Yeowoon is different. To experience any moments of joy cannot possibly be real. Maybe I am projecting too much on to the character, but it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha’s worldview would break down upon having someone state wholeheartedly that they want to be a support system for him. 

Cruel Choices

gif by @dramascene

With the enmeshment of depression and video game mechanics in mind, I want to talk about the scene at the end of Episode 6. I love this scene so much for a number of reasons: 

It turns the game on a head for me as we slip further and further in to a nightmare scenario

It raises the stakes and attempts to get Myungha to make a hard choice 

It forces Myungha to think about what is important to him 

It’s ultimate purpose and who is posting the mission is ambiguous/uncertain 

I’m going to focus on number four. I think it is a perfectly valid read to see this and all video game mechanics as designed by The Author in an effort to help Myungha change Yeowoon’s story in which case this mission feels particularly vindictive and cruel. @lurkingshan posed the question in a conversation we were having about Love for Love’s Sake, where she wondered why the game could not hold two sources of love for Myungha at once. I love that question because it made me realize how differently this show can be read and how important who you choose to read as the entity in control of this game is for what this scene specifically means and I love so many interpretations of it, I love the interpretation that is was simply cruel, I love the interpretation that in retrospect this was the Author being angry at Myungha for dying, I love the reflection from @jemmo that said this felt like a choice between staying rooted in the past (sparing grandma) or choosing a future (sparing Yeowoon)

For me, I think I am leaning heavily in to the pop ups are under Myungha’s subconscious control, his mind, the missions he thinks are important, the problems he thinks he is causing are what is driving the base game. Because of this my base instinct is to lean in to the depression/anxiety/trauma tent where things have been going a little too well for him lately and he has convinced himself that he is due for something bad to happen. I am happy to once again acknowledge that this probably projection, but I know that my own mental illness(es) does not let my peace linger for long. Myungha is spending so much time with Yeowoon, Yeowoon who grounds him when his world is literally falling apart. Yeowoon who cannot contain his smile whenever he is around Myungha, Yeowoon who is downright desperate to bestow love and support upon Myungha, Yeowoon who has accompanied Myungha to the hospital late at night to be there for his boyfriend in a stressful time, and Myungha can’t have that. He loves his grandmother, he loves Yeowoon, they both love him and so obviously means that something bad is going to happen to them. 

gif by @25shadesoffebruary

[As an aside I am thinking about what the Author said in the final episode about wanting Myungha to be able to see himself from the outside, and how I took that to mean Yeowoon is supposed to be a reflection of Myungha and a journey to self love, and how Yeowoon told Myungha that something bad always happens to the people around him in relation to this hospital scene]

Secondarily, I do think being confronted with this choice at all allows Myungha to have a moment of reflection, and is clarifying for him to know that both Yeowoon and his grandmother are important people in his life that he doesn’t want to lose. That’s fucking huge, in my opinion at least. And for all this mission was cruel, it was the first time Myungha refused to complete the mission. He was asked to save one, he decided to save both, and the game could have been cruel and taken his grandmother and Yeowoon away for refusing to choose, but it didn’t. They both got to live, and sure Myungha’s mission to make Yeowoon happy was shortened significantly, but I do think fifteen days was enough time to be successful in his mission if the depression and the grief had not gotten to Myungha instead. 

Grief 

gif by @my-rose-tinted-glasses

Something about grief that my therapist told me once was grieving people love helping others. And I think that is the case of Myungha here just based on the way he throws himself in to helping as many people as he can, especially Yeowoon. He knows Yeowoon is grieving, he knows Yeowoon is struggling, and he can distract himself from his own shit by helping Yeowoon instead. But once Myungha is confronted with the possibility that either one of the people that he loves could die, the penality for failing in his mission to make Yeowoon happy looms over his head like a knife. Just like Myungha considered himself the problem with the debuff, he knows how high of a likelihood it is that Yeowoon would regress, would isolate, would sink into a massive low. 

And it would be Myung’s fault (in his mind). 

Especially because Yeowoon keeps saying that even thinking about going on dates with Myungha is making him happy but Myungha’s mission isn’t complete. Myungha has started to get low, he is not as engaged in his relationship with Yeowoon, he’s convinced himself he is going to fail, and is thus setting himself up for failure because he decides 15 days is not enough time to find happiness, but it is enough time to break somebody’s heart in preparation for a devastating loss. And maybe, maybe Myungha would have snapped out of it with enough time to spare initially, but any hope of that being the case was shattered the second Yeowoon admitted that he wasn’t happy because Myungha wasn’t relying on him. 

Myungha is so used to be self-reliant there is no way for him to break out of that habit in just two weeks. Myungha knew his death would hurt Yeowoon, but the final nail in the coffin for him was learning that his life was hurting Yeowoon too. And he almost got there, he almost did it, he admitted that he didn’t know how to, but he withdrew at the last second. He has spent all this time, all this energy, all this focus in to changing Yeowoon, he does not have the space to do that for himself. 

The Choice 

gif by @supanuts

The last moment I will really speak to as it relates to my interpretation of this game being controlled by Myungha as a manifestation of his depression is the author’s pen. Considering the fact The Author asked Myungha if he wanted to try again, I do not think if the Author was controlling this game world that he would have had Myungha disappear from it. Because according to the Gaga subs, the change that Myungha writes is that he wants Yeowoon to be happy, and immediately upon finishing that request, Myungha starts to fade. 

If we hold these game mechanics as manifestations of Myungha’s depression, which I do, it makes complete and total sense to me that Myungha would fall back in to the pattern of believing that Yeowoon would be happier if Myungha wasn’t there. Yeowoon has a modeling deal now, he has some modicum of fame, he has friends now, he has supports in place that he did not have before, so what need does Yeowoon have of him, when his inability to let people love him is what is now causing Yeowoon to feel sad. 

And I think that massive server error at the end where the world is burning and the universe is melting in to the game is a result of Myungha realizing too little, too late that this isn’t what he wanted. But it can’t be undone. The line he says when he is sinking in to the water about how at the last minute before he died, he regretted it. The game, the drowning here are one in the same to me. 

And for me there was just something so beautiful and hopeful from Myungha telling The Author that he wants to try again. We started the show with Myungha telling The Author miserable people can be happy, and we end the show with Myungha and Yeowoon finally getting the happy ending they never thought they would have. 

gif by @junghaesin

God I loved this show.

#love for love's sake #lfls #love for love's sake meta #love for love's sake analysis #one thing about this show is that it almost certainly will lend itself well to a rewatch! #and I *love* rewatching shows #wka long post

[k-pepp]

With the final season of YR coming up, I’ve been thinking about Wille’s journey again. Because he’s 16, we won’t know if he actually chooses to renounce his title or remain in his role as future king, but I have a feeling this season will give us an indication which way it will go. So, before we get any type of confirmation, I want to get my current thoughts out. I’m aware that a lot of YR Tumblr skews toward King Wilhelm so my pro-renounce post might not resonate with anyone and that’s ok. I just want to put all my thoughts together before S3 comes along with something that totally blows all my opinions and assumptions out of the water 🙂 I understand the idea of wanting Wille to be King because he could be such a great leader. He is kind and compassionate and can be good at taking charge. BUT just because a person could be good at something, doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. My number one reason for being in favor of Renouncing his Title is the sheer fact that Wille doesn’t want to be King. He doesn’t want the title. He doesn’t want that life. Wille has been shown a multitude of times talking about how he struggles with the duties that come with being a prince. Whether it’s with Erik:

Or August:

Or Boris:

(honestly, this boy will spill his guts to anyone who is willing to even half listen to him. My god. I’m so glad they gave this poor kid a therapist) He's also talked about how he feels trapped in this position. For him, to renounce the throne would be freedom. Freedom to live a life he actually wants.

Even the mere idea of staying in his current position makes him physically ill.

Some people take the end of episode 2x06 to mean he’s moved beyond all that and accepted his role as the future king. I didn’t personally see it that way. I saw it as a combination of a few things. 1) When come face-to-face with it, he just couldn’t let August give the speech (But the fact that he was initially willing to let someone who distributed revenge porn against him become king really speaks to how much he definitely doesn’t want that position) 2) He didn’t want Simon to have to compromise his happiness and give in to a situation he didn’t actually want 3) He didn’t want to hide anymore. He wanted to be himself. Wille is a person who craves authenticity. Which brings me to a bigger point… Life as the Crown Prince / King is inherently inauthentic. One of the main pro-King arguments is that he would blaze his own trail and do things his way. But how? Being a member of the royal family is a job. The basic responsibilities of that job are to do things like diplomatic visits, hosting events, being part of photo ops, schmoozing with people… pretty much all things having to do with putting on a public persona. It’s great that he could be himself in the sense that he would be the first queer Crown Prince / King, but the baseline duties he would have to fulfill are still inherently inauthentic. And I don’t know how he would “do it his way” aside from just not doing it. He hates putting on fake smiles

the photo ops

the schmoozing with people

Erik even told Wille, the way to get through that stuff is to just pretend to be someone else.

We know he’s capable of doing it. We saw how charming he could be at Parents Day weekend. But that was because he wanted to sit with Simon and impress Simon’s mom. Other than that lunch, he mostly hid in his room. And it goes back to my original point. Just because someone may be good at something doesn’t mean they should be forced to do it. (And yes, even if he walked away from the line of succession, he could still have familial obligations, but it wouldn’t be anywhere near the level of what is expected now) At this point, Wille is only continuing as Crown Prince because of a commitment to his family. Mainly Erik.

He doesn’t want to let him down or feel like he’s betraying his legacy. To Wille, Erik was perfect. We only saw two full conversations between them and in both conversations, Erik was telling Wille to get his act together because “it’s not that hard”.

That quote is probably something he told Wille a lot. So much that Wille later regurgitates it to Boris. Three different times.  

Going on to say that Erik could handle everything easily.  

Based on the fact that Erik was going to Boris, he probably wasn’t managing everything with ease. But in Wille’s perception, he was. Wille is basically chasing a ghost. Self-imposed pressure of unattainable perfection. He bears a guilt that pushes him to want to be someone he thinks Erik would be proud of.   The problem with that is, Erik was a monarchist. Maybe he struggled a bit (which is why he went to Boris), but based on the things he would say to Wille, he backed the monarchy / family completely.

Ultimately, I just want Wille to be happy. Maybe S3 will completely change my outlook and I’ll root for him to become king because that’s what he wants. But right now, I think he only wants it out of a sense of obligation to Erik. And honestly…maybe my most controversial opinion…if he did stay in his position because of Erik, he probably wouldn’t change that much within the institution. I mean, he couldn’t change much even if he wanted to. He wouldn’t be allowed to do big things without the consent of the Swedish parliament and maybe a public referendum. And I doubt he’d even have the capability to make small changes. As already pointed out by @piebingo in this great post, Kristina didn’t actually want August to be next in line. But she was overruled. The Royal Court has a lot of power and making any sort of reforms or independent decisions is not that simple. Especially within an establishment that relies on keeping everything exactly the same. But even if that weren’t true. Even if Wille could snap his fingers and make all these huge changes… part of me doesn’t think he would. I know a lot of the folks who are pro-King Wilhelm want him to become the king just so he can completely destroy it from within. But to me, in Wille’s eyes there would be no bigger betrayal to Erik’s legacy than Wille burning the institution to the ground. And if he wants to live up to Erik’s legacy. Not betray him. Not let him down. He will act as he thinks Erik would act. If Wille becomes king because of Erik, he’ll maintain the establishment because of Erik. And he would be miserable doing it. Miserable and without Simon. Yes, my other controversial opinion. If Wille stayed as king, Wilmon wouldn’t make it. Simon is described to us as a socialist. One of his introductory scenes is him calling the monarchy the country’s biggest welfare scammers. I can’t imagine Simon giving up his musical dreams to join an institution that he hates. I also can’t imagine Wille letting him do that. That was such a big part of Wille’s growth in Season 2. Wille wouldn’t let Simon sacrifice his happiness for the sake of his own happiness (being with Simon). Even if Simon didn’t end up pursuing something in music, he made it clear in his talk with Rosh and Ayub that he wants to work hard to make something of himself.

I mean, look at him. Look at this sweet baby angel’s face when he’s told he has an opportunity that will open doors to his future. I can’t imagine him giving up his ambitions or autonomy to become prince consort. Having to live every day under royal rules and protocols. Maybe he would. I personally can’t see it. And finally, I know a main reason people like the idea of King Wille is because we like the idea of a queer king. But as much as we all want queer representation; I don’t think it should be anybody’s responsibility to be the political representation that people want to see. Wille shouldn’t be in a position he hates because he’s queer. A queer person living their life and getting out of a toxic situation is also good representation. A person can’t fix the problem by becoming part of it. Having him be the face of an institution that’s been about exploitation and oppression isn’t going to solve it. It's always been said by Lisa and Edvin that Wille’s problem is not that he’s queer. It’s that he’s a prince. Everything about what’s making him unhappy is about him being prince / the future king. Him walking away from his title would be about him escaping a future that would make him miserable. Personally, that’s what I’m hoping for.

#I’m sure all of this will be useless when S3 comes out #Since Wille is only 16 it’s pretty useless now 😅 #But I’m happy to finally have these S1 and S2 thoughts out of my head #young royals #pro (eventual) abdication

[master-muffinn]

That time i got reincarnated as a slime

When their s/o sitting on their lap in public.

The first time you sit on their lap they get extremely nervous and blushing. They look around them to see peoples reactions “What will they think? Is this really ok?” are their thoughts. Poor souls aren’t used to this kind of thing. They probably tell you it is inappropriate but they don’t have the heart to push you away, they love you too much for that. Where are they going to put their hands? On your shoulders? On your thighs? Around your belly? Or should they first ask for your permission to even touch you? Help them s/o!! Try not to do it around too many people or even in front of their friends/leader, they might die of embarrassment!

Even when you have done this a couple of times they are still blushing and are a little nervous, but now they can put their arms around you and be a little more confident.

^ Benimaru, Souka, Geld? ^

These people LOVE it when you sit on their lap! You can do it whenever you want! When they sit and talk with their friends? Yes! While they are working? Of course! During the meetings? No problem! They will basically drag you to their lap and hold you with such pride and happiness. If you decide not to sit on their lap they might even look a little hurt and pout, but it gets over quickly.

If anyone questions it, they will be greatly offended. Like “How DARE you question us?” Is pretty much their reaction. (They might even start a fight, depending on who it is). They will continue to hold you anyway, it’s none of other people's business, they do as they want. 

^ Veldora, Milim, Shion, Rimuru, Ranga, Rigurd ^

They get surprised at first and blushing, but they adapt pretty quickly. They don't mind at all, in fact they think it’s cute and nice that their s/o want to sit on their lap. It makes them feel happy that you trust them enough and want to protect you even more. It’s fine anytime, as long as it’s not in the way of work or during meetings. These people are pretty confident so they don't care what people think and say, what are they gonna do? Push you off? Then they must be very brave. However if their leader (if they have one) would tell them it’s inappropriate then they would simply tell s/o so, but if not then they would continue holding their s/o and looking at them with that loving and found smile of theirs. 

^ Souei, Diablo, Shuna, Treyni, Guy, Kaijin, Shizu, Rigur, Carrion ^

“No dear s/o! No PDA, all cuddles and lap sitting is only for privacy!” They probably told you already from the start. If you decide to do it anyway, they will push you off and give you a glare that pretty much says “Not now. Later”. Teasing won't work either, sorry. BUT when it is finally just the two of you, they go all out! They hold you while they work, giving you a little peck sometimes. Putting you on their lap and might even feed you little sweets <3. If anyone disturb them while they have their bellowed alone time with s/o they will glare at however disturb them, still holding on tightly around their s/o. “Is it very important? Someone dying or what? No? If so, please leave”. 

^ Leon, Gazel, Luminous, Hinata ^

These people are most likely the ones who are sitting on YOUR lap. Don’t get me wrong, they LOVE it when you sit on their lap, but they prefer to be the little spoon and getting ALL their s/o attention. They don’t care if people stare, in fact they get a little cocky and get a confident/ego boost. “Yes this is my s/o, aren’t they amazing?! And only I get their attention. It’s fully understandable if you get jealous”. They would most likely be a little jealous if you pay your attention to someone else but them.

^ Gobta, Milim, Gabiru, Ramiris, Rimuru? ^

Thank you for reading! If liked, reblogs are very appreciated! :) 

I do not take requests.

Post made by @master-muffinn

#that time i got reincarnated as a slime #that time i got reincarnated as a slime x reader #rimuru tempest #gobta #gabiru #ramiris #hinata #luminous #gazel #leon #guy crimson #souei #shuna #diablo #treyni #kaijin #shizu #rigur #carrion #veldora #shion #ranga #rigurd #geld #benimaru #souka #ttigraas #ttigraas x reader #ttigraas headcanons #that time i got reincarnated as a slime headcanons

[outivv]

You know that saying there are plenty of fish in the sea can I request this with the octavinelle trio

Like there s/o saying it is a saying for their world how whoud they react to it

Synopsis: reactions to the phrase, “there are plenty of fish in the sea”

Warnings: not proofread

Characters: octavinelle

Pronouns for reader: gender neutral/ not mentioned

A/n: hello hello!! Sorry this took so long for me to get to, I was planning on writing it before the holidays but got overwhelmingly busy :’). So I am sorry about that, but!! This was fun to write and I hope you enjoy!! Take care of yourself :]

— Azul —

“That’s a stupid Phrase.” Azul blurts out without thinking, he’s not one to usually be quite this… harsh, but he does think that it’s a stupid stupid phrase. “How so?” You Tilt your head, he’s looking up at you, as you’re sitting on his desk. He sighs, and fixes his glasses, “well…” he starts, but doesn’t finish.

He really doesn’t know how to come up with an excuse. Because the real reason he hates that phrase, is because he wonders if you believe it. If you believe there’s more out there for you than him, because he knows for a fact that you’re the only one for him. You notice his face turning into one of pondering, and embarrassment, “but- there’s only one octopus for me!” You say, with a bright smile. Azul furrows his brows, with a small pout appearing in his face, “that’s quite cheesy…” a blush creeps onto his face, “but thank you for reassuring me.”

— Jade —

“Well yes, there are many fish that humans haven’t even discovered yet.” Jade says jokingly, pretending to not understand the meaning. You’re cleaning up mostro lounge with him, and discussing where you came from, bringing up a funny phrase you heard all the time. You snicker, knowing he’s just teasing you, “no jade not like that, like… there’s plenty of people out there… if that makes sense?” Jade looks up from cleaning a table, and pretends to ponder for a moment.

“Hm… I suppose.” He says, and you return to your cleaning, thinking that was that. However, you should know jade by now, but he always surprises you, whether intentional or not. You look over to your left, and see that he’s right there next to you. You jump a little, at his genuine smile, “sorry” he says as he takes your hand in his, “but, I do think I’m the only fish for you don’t you agree?” You were too flustered to utter a single word, as he just chuckled at you, his sharp teeth on full display.

— Floyd —

“But you’re the only shrimpy for me!!” He said, as he wrapped his arms tighter around you. He clearly did not like that phrase, with the pout on his face you could tell his mood was souring by the second, and you had to think of something to salvage it, and fast. You laughed lightly, “yes Floyd, and you’re the only eel for me.”

You pat the top of his head, as he looks down at you and practically whines. You giggle again, saying, “sorry Floyd, didn’t mean to scare you with that” he rests his head on top of your own, “ ‘s ok, just don’t do that again!!”

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst jade #twst floyd #twst azul #twisted wonderland headcanons #jade #Floyd #azul #jade leech #floyd leech #azul ashengrotto #jade x reader #floyd x reader #azul x reader #jade headcanons #floyd headcanons #azul headcanons #jade fluff #floyd fluff #azul fluff #jade x y/n #floyd x y/n #azul x y/n #jade x you #floyd x you #azul x you

[spacebarbarianweird]

something i've found that really doesn't get much attention are drow elves. my first Tav was a seldarine drow and she faced so much scrutiny and verbal backlash just for simply existing, even though she was a follower of eilistraee and lived on the surface. would you happen to have any HC's (SFW or NSFW i'm not picky) about astarion with a Drow elf?

Drows are fucking interesting, people shouldn't ignore them! Especially this rivalry between Lolth-sword drows and Seldarine Drows, who refuse to bow before the Spider Queen.

And since I am in angsty mood, I will write some headcanons abour poor Drow!Tav who pissed Lolth and became a Drider.

Masterlist

Headcanons

Astarion x Drow!Tav

You are an outcast who denied Lolth and embraced the old Seldarine gods of your ancestors.

Your eyes are red, and you can see in the dark.

A native to Menzoberranzan, you were inspired by stories about Drizzt Do'Urden.

Who'd denied Lolth, fled the city of slavers, and left to see the world outside the Underdark.

Of course, as a woman, you have nothing to fear. You are a daughter of a matriarch, an heiress. Why leave the city? Why embrace struggles?

Drizzt was a man, after all, and men are worth nothing in the eyes of the Drow women.

Still, you left.

And saw the sunlight for the first time in your life.

It burnt your eyes and left terrible sunburns on your delicate dark skin, but it was the happiest day of your life.

You got a hood and glasses, and some people think you were a vampire.

Actually, sometimes it's better to pretend you are a vampire than tell the truth about being a drow. Especially, to the elves.

But you are still very afraid. You are afraid of Lolth, who can get you and do something awful to you.

You find yourself with a tadpole in your brains - a tadpole that promises to save you from Lolth and your own kin.

You share your fears with Astarion - who also sees the tadpole as an opportunity to free himself from his evil master.

You actually have a lot in common. You understand his awe when he faces the sunshine - you felt the same when you left the Underdark.

And stories about Drizzt! You are two absolute fanboys!

He's read stories about him, and you grew up in his homecity. You even personally know people who knew him (and you are a bit related). 

You talk about every single story about him, building theories and discussing facts. 

And Astarion makes you tell him about Menzoberranzan. And the Underdark. And drows.

Besides, he has his racial stereotypes, you have yours.

By telling him this, you realize how much you miss your homeplace.

Of course, the surface is nice, but you notice your sight is getting worse and the skin suffers under sunshine.

When you face Oblodra at the Moonrise Towers, she orders you to give her Astarion, considering him your slave and concubine.

You refuse. One of the reasons you left the Underdark was because you hated that men were treated like something less than women (and gender inequality sucks in every form).

Of course, there is a lot of talk about boundaries. As a drow female, you love being in charge, you've been raised like that. Women rule, men obey.

Difficult to change.

Astarion, let's say, is ok not to be in charge, but he just stops talking to you if you command or order.

At the same time, it's something new for you as well. You've had lovers back home, obedient men, smaller in size and weaker in strength.

Having relationships with a man who isn't like that is something new.

When Astarion refuses to ascend and confesses he is afraid to lose his immunity to the sun, you take it as a sign.

Time to return home.

No matter how you love the surface, Astarion will be safe in the Underdark.

And all these spawns who owe you two their freedom. They can become your personal army, should you decide to start a war against the Spider Queen and her minions.

--

Tag list

@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @astarion-beloved @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati

#spacebarbarian headcanon #astarion #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 astarion #astarion romance #bg3 #astarion bg3 #astarion headcanon #baldurs gate 3 #astarion headcanons #astarion x tav #astarion x f!tav #tav x astarion #astarion x gn!tav #astarion x gn reader #astarion x reader #dnd #baldurs gate astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion baldurs gate #astarion brainrot #astarion x female reader #baldurs gate 3 astarion #drow tav #dnd drow #bg3 drow

[yanmaresu]

I have a request please? How would the yandere twst girls react if male darling tries to reject her, but in a way that builds her up? Like telling her that she has so much going for her! “You have a your family, and friends. You’re attending one of Twisted Wonderland’s most prestigious colleges! You don’t need me to complete you, because you complete yourself. If anything I’m the one holding you back!” How would the ladies react? Who would take this rejection well? Please and thank you!

Being honest this is a very unusual yandere scenario I was unsure how to approach it, but it was fun trying to think up how they would react jsjs thanks for requesting <3

━━━━━━━ ∙ʚ♡ɞ∙ ━━━━━━━

Characters: Riddle, Ace, Deuce, Ruggie, Jack, Azul, Floyd, Kalim, Idia, Malleus, Neige.

━━━━━━━ ∙ʚ♡ɞ∙ ━━━━━━━

Riddle will probably throw the ball back in a "You're not going to fix me, I'm going to fix you :)" kinda way. If her darling says he doesn't feel worthy of her then she will make him worthy, everything can be done with hard work and discipline. Just let her take care of it and everything will be fine, her father taught her how to take control. In other words, she trains her darling. However, it sometimes looks like she's molding him more into a househusband rather than helping him.

Ace won't take it that well. She doesn't need that kinda talk ya know? She actually has self-esteem. But if the prefect really thinks that way then there's nothing she can do. Ace will act like everything's ok, but will slowly start manipulating her darling into isolating himself. It's not easy, but if she can mess him up enough so that he depends on her, things would be merrier.

With Deuce it's kind of a bittersweet reaction. The prefect has so much faith in her! She appreciates it, but she was sure she was the one holding him back. What about holding each other down then?

You think Ruggie hadn't considered that? She knows she's lucky to be there, and life isn't going to be all that pretty even if she got a nice education, but she still wants him. It's the hyena's instincts but the fact that she's probably going to be more successful than her darling is attractive to her. She will try to convince the prefect, but if he rejects her, then she will hunt him down.

Jack understands where the prefect might be coming from and tries to talk it out with him, to please don't let himself down like that and that she isn't like that.

Azul has mixed feelings about the rejection. She will try to convince her darling that she doesn't have such dependency issues and that he really is enough. but if he really isn't convinced, then what about making the relationship something mutually beneficial? She really is successful and will continue to grow beautifully in all of her ordeals, but she's left with no time to cultivate relationships, and sometimes having a partner can do wonders when trying to build an image of certain people. Let her darling become her arm candy, she will treat him right, and all he has to do is to be there for her and only her.

Floyd doesn't care, and that lame rejection won't deter her. If he likes her back then what's the problem? They should date, it's not that complicated. Floyd will manhandle her darling around after that.

Kalim will assure her darling that nothing like that will happen! She reminds him of the tale of the princess and her lover who pretended to be royalty. He also thought he wasn't enough, but loving each other solved everything. Really, all her darling has to do is love her :)

Idia was expecting to get rejected, but not like this. What the prefect says doesn't make sense. She can't be completed, nor fixed, she was already messed up from the moment she was born a Shroud, but her darling makes things so much better... He really doesn't need to do much, she already planned to seclude herself anyway, she just needs him with her. So even if he doesn't want to be there, he will.

Malleus will be clear, she does feel like the prefect completes her. He takes up so much space on her mind and her heart feels like it will overflow with how much she loves him, everything feels so much brighter when he's around. She will let him know exactly how she feels, and assure him that with her taking the throne in the future nothing will drag her back, except maybe having her heart broken. If Malleus gets rejected once again, she will abduct her darling. He wasn't meant to rule, so keeping him like a trophy among her possesions works for her.

I like to think the Disney princess thing is strong with Neige. She really is such a positive force, and won't let her darling talk about himself like that. He's wonderful 👏 He's beautiful 👏 He's the love of her life 👏 and he really is completing her, because everyone needs love in their life! and maybe he feels nervous... Neige knows her acting career may intimidate people, with how often cameras glance into her personal life, and how intense some people online may be, but she's sure that once her darling takes his first step into the spotlight, everything will be a trip downhill. Her fans are always so sweet, they will surely hope for her happiness. Just let her take a picture and let everyone know. The scary part will only last a moment.

#yandere #yandere gb twst #yandere female riddle #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere female ace #yandere female idia #yandere female deuce #yandere female azul #yandere female ruggie #yandere female malleus #yandere female neige #yandere female floyd

[xxnghtclls]

A little spontaneous analysis on Sukuna and his view on love and rejection that I blurted out while reading about Heian Era marriage this morning 🤓

That Sukuna panel came to mind with him saying, he’s “a cursed, unwanted little wretch”. (I was told “hated” was another way to translate it, but it’s the same in the end).

Disclaimer: These are just my thoughts using this specific translation. However Sukuna is a complex character and nothing is black and white and I’m probably heavily cherry picking here or reading way too much into this more than I should or would be necessary. 😆 WELL

Somehow it struck to me that one of the FEW things we know about Sukuna, is that he never married or bore any children. This is even more interesting, considering the fact that in the JJK verse, we do have a few absent wifes/lovers to name, that we know little to nothing about. Be it Megumi‘s mother, Kaori or a nonexistent wife of Sukuna. People often claim that Sukuna is a virgin, cause he didn’t marry or had kids. This is a whole other discussion, but this claim kept lingering in my head and made me think about marriage in the first place. Marriage and children often being a wholesome concept of love in our modern understanding, I first thought the marriage thing to be in connection to his claim to love being useless, that he not even once had interest in love. I think there‘s more to that.

(although I do think that someone who claims that love is worthless kinda sounds heartbroken, but yeah anyway)

But then I thought „wait we’re speaking ancient times, did love play any role in marriage anyway?“

We still don‘t know the social status in which Sukuna was born in, but in regards to heian era, marriage was first and foremost a thing to secure and show social status. Marriages out of love weren‘t common, even seen as unrealistic.

Marriages were mostly arranged, often when they were still teenagers even. And this is what caught my attention. Sukuna says he was born a cursed unwanted little wretch and I first assumed this claim purely focuses on his parents and his early childhood.

But given the social norms in heian era, what if it also meant that he was literally unable to marry later on, that he wasn’t just unwanted by his by his parents, but by a possible spouse as well? Him saying he was “cursed and unwanted” indicates that it was a state he was put in, not a state he sought out to be. You could even argue, that him saying he was “unwanted” or “hated” even required him not wanting to be treated that way. Which child would want that? Which makes it even more interesting that he says, that he never thought about needing someone else to fulfill him. In connection to what I said before, it could almost sound hateful. As well as this moment here, which always occurred to me as if he said it from own experience.

Because when you grow up in a surrounding that hates & repels you, it makes sense that you grow indifferent to society, but it doesn’t necessarily mean it was always that way. Him being unwanted makes so much sense in connection with him saying, that he focuses solely on himself and that he has complete disregard to others. Which makes sense, when it’s a result of not having anybody who wants or loves you. It leaves you with yourself and yourself only.

I know a lot of you really wanna fight the thought of Sukuna having a hard childhood but who cares honestly? I don‘t think it would make him less of a strong character. Every human is the result of their surroundings and as stated, Sukuna is human too. Based on that, you could even argue that the only kind of love he knows and sees as the real love, was an aggressive one. This would explain why he sees the slaughter of those who fought Kashimo as love.

Ok back to marriage! When I read about marriage, there was another thing that caught my attention and that was poetry! We know Sukuna is a little nerd, who is eager to learn and it’s indicated that he even enjoyed poetry. (His immediate reaction to Yorozu‘s Haiku being that it lacks the seasonal word.) Back then, when someone was about to apply for marriage, what did they do? Yeah right, they wrote letters to someone.

As I stated above, you could assume that there was a time, where Sukuna was not utterly hateful and indifferent to social contacts (I know that’s a reach, but that’s up for interpretation as long as we don’t know his backstory.)

If we assume, that Sukuna was born looking the way he looks, then it wouldn’t surprise me if there was a lot of rejection involved in the way the proposal was practised as described above. I don‘t wanna paint Sukuna as the poor rejected here, but idk maybe he was.

We all eagerly await Sukuna‘s backstory and I‘m so excited to learn about him. This suddenly turned into an analysis of Sukuna and his view on love and whatnot, but please remember, I’m not saying that any of this might have actually happened.

It’s just some connections my brain made while reading about marriage and thinking about some of the stuff that Sukuna said. I just had to write it down.

Here‘s the source: click

#nighty talks #theory #sukuna #true form sukuna #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk 237 #jjk238

[celluloidbroomcloset]

A good bit has been made of Ed saying that "last night was a mistake" and I get the sense that a lot of people are interpreting things through a lens that he means they shouldn't have slept together, they should have waited, Stede was pushing things too far too fast, etc. So I want to go into some detail on why I don't agree with that, and what I think is happening in the aftermath of Calypso's Birthday, as well as in the love scene itself.

(This is kinda long, because I am not witty and cannot be brief. These are just my thoughts, so of course I'm not trying to tell anyone how to understand what happens in these scenes.)

Them having sex and what happens after is very much related to the things that they've both gone through, and especially Ed's fears and trauma after his depressive spiral. When we first meet Ed in Season 1, he's already borderline suicidal. Stede gives him a new view of life by showing him things that he's never seen before, and emotions he's never experienced before. He falls in love and anchors himself to Stede. Then his anchor breaks and lets him float off. He's alone and heartbroken and quite literally goes insane with grief and self-loathing (spurred on by Izzy) on a ship filled with people and things that keep reminding him of how he wasn't enough.

In Season 2, he knows that if he goes back to being Blackbeard, again, after everything, he might very well never be able to come back. He's still terrified of Stede abandoning him, and I think the fact that he did consent to the sex, that he did want to have sex, that he did feel loved and desired and happy, is a huge part of that. He says it was a mistake because he wanted it so much and got exactly what he wanted and is afraid that, again, he's going to lose the person who made him feel like he was enough. So he's doing exactly what Stede says he's doing - panicking and trying to run this time, so that he's not the one who gets hurt again. That's not the same as truly regretting the night before; it actually says that them sleeping together meant so much that it's frightened him because now he stands to lose even more. (If losing Stede once ripped him apart, after they had just barely kissed and admitted they care for each other, what would losing Stede now do to him?)

Should they have waited? Doesn't really matter. They didn't. Are they overwhelmed with emotion? Well, yeah. There have been other posts floating around discussing the relationship between sex and death and the concept of funeral sex, which are quite accurate IMO.

But...I'd say the moment when Stede first grabs Ed at the door is the "overwhelmed with emotion" part. Remember that Stede has killed before, accidentally, and is absolutely wracked with guilt by it. The guilt is also associated with Ed and with his masculinity/sexuality - "you defile beautiful things" - and Ned's words earlier poked those wounds. The last thing that Ed said to Stede before he killed Ned was not to do it because "you can't come back from that." So Stede does what he did before - he runs and hides. But he's not alone anymore. Ed shows up. He's not angry, he's not rejecting Stede or lecturing Stede; nothing has fundamentally changed in their relationship because Stede killed Ned. He's there to say, "Hey, it's OK, it's hard, I know, I've been there." Stede is overwhelmed with emotion - guilt at what he's done and all its associations with his past, fear that he's ruined something in his relationship (defiled a beautiful thing), uncertainty about what this means about him as a person. And there's Ed, standing there and saying "Are you OK?" Nothing has been defiled.

It's not Ed who crosses the threshold - maybe Stede needs his space and really doesn't need his sympathy right now, so he waits there and doesn't invade the space - but Stede who grabs him and drags him across. That's the impulsive moment, not the sex. Ed is surprised by it, as we can see on his face, and Stede is in pain and almost crying. He seems incapable of speech at that moment, which says a lot about his state of mind since this is a man who cannot shut up. He's not behaving rationally or thinking things through deliberately; he's coming apart and Ed's there and Ed holds him together.

Now, the next cut could've been to Stede throwing Ed down on the bed or kissing him aggressively (as, indeed, has happened in plenty of shows and films with these kinds of scenes). But that's not what happens. The next cut is to the end of the impulsive moment, Stede backing Ed up against the wall. Then there's a pause. Both of them are recalibrating. Stede in fact keeps his distance (wish we could actually see their expressions up close), and he waits. He's done something he likely shouldn't have in grabbing Ed; he's stopping himself from doing anything else he shouldn't. He's making a choice and it's an important one, just like when he stopped the kiss when Ed told him to, when he stopped saying "I love you" because Ed couldn't hear it, or when he asked if it was OK to hold Ed's hand. He didn't do anything wrong in being impulsive, and he's waiting for his partner to help him know what to do next.

Could Ed say no at that point? Yes, absolutely, and we know from the moonlight scene that Stede would not try to go farther. Would Ed say no at that point, with the knowledge of how much this man needs him? Yes, I think he would. I don't think this is a case of Ed going "well, he needs this, so I'll sleep with him." That interpretation I think undermines Ed's autonomy and misunderstands his character - he's not going to do something that he doesn't want to, not even for Stede, and he's not going to damage their relationship by having their first time be a result of pity or sympathy. It's going to be about mutual desire, or it's not going to happen at all.

That pause is where they look at each other (again, wish we could see expressions better) and Ed nods. And even then, when Stede leans in to kiss him, it's not Stede who increases the intensity. I think we could even read this as Stede not consciously planning for the kiss to lead to sex. It's Ed who grabs Stede, pulls him up against him, lets his body support Stede's, who's practically collapsing. It's Ed who snatches Stede's waist and wraps his arm around his shoulders and caresses his neck.

I think it's really important that Ed is the one who ups the intensity. His actions are pretty much the definition of enthusiastic consent. That's needed for the scene, just like all the other scenes where Stede stops when Ed tells him to. It's Ed who wanted to take it slow and so now his choice to go ahead is necessary. There's no indication that this is rushed or only a result of passion and pain.

The next scene, Stede is closing the curtains, and he's shirtless, but Ed is still mostly dressed (and no, that is not the face of a man having second thoughts or being pressured into sex. That's the face of a man who's so in love he can't see anything but fireworks). What's happening is very deliberate on both their parts, and the entire scene is a culmination of their desires and - very importantly - their love for each other. It's not Stede needing comfort or validation and Ed rewarding him with sex. It's them both needing, wanting, and loving each other.

It's really tempting to make this all more angst-y than it is, especially with Ed's later "last night was a mistake!" But once more, this silly gay pirate show gets at something that a lot of less silly films and TV shows don't - that human relationships are messy and complex, and messiness and complexity are not inherently Problematic. Just human.

Tl;dr: seems like neither of them regretted having sex, and not just because it was definitely good sex.

#ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd meta #stede bonnet #ed teach #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #yes i have feelings about the silly gay pirate show #and must write essays about them #our flag means death