#I really hate cauliflower

[nerdpoe]

cauliflower wings are better than buffalo wings

don't try to change my mind because you can't they're just better texture and flavor wise.

#food #fuck yeah cauliflower wings #the good shit #not a vegan or vegetarian btw i just really like cauliflower wings #tried going vegetarian but it turns out i do not produce enough iron and i really #REALLY #need to eat meat #like muscle spasms and everything #could i go vegetarian and do bloodwork to find out what the hell my body isn't producing? #yes #will i? #no i hate getting my blood drawn

[miekasa]

when your children are still babies, they get so so upset when gojo comes home and doesn’t immediately pick them up. your baby has recently learned that the sound of the front door opening and closing usually signals the return of their father so tonight, when the door opens, your baby’s head perks up. when he finally takes his shoes off and makes his way into the home, he spots his little angel on the couch. “hi baby!” he coos at them with a smile on his face and his hands full with some packages. “let me go put these down and i’ll be right back!” he tries to explain, to which your baby just obliviously smiles at, just happy to see their father and know that he’s giving them attention. but when they realize that he’s leaving their sight and didn’t immediately pick them up… oh have mercy. it becomes a shit storm because who does he think he is?? to not give his baby all his time and attention! gojo comes running back into the living room confused as to why they’re crying but as soon as he picks them up, they stop crying and start giggling. what a dramatic little baby you’ve been blessed with. the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree ig

— doc dad levi anon

SHUT UPPPPP because you know Satoru loves the attention too, they’re a perfect match together bye. All you can do is stand, bemused, as Satoru picks up the baby and almost instantly quells his crying, rocking him back and forth before stretching his arms to hold the kid at eye level with him and cooing, “Oh, I’m sorry my love, I missed you too, soooooo much,” Satoru bends his arms to brush their noses together and grin at the giggles the baby emits, “You missed me too, yeah? Aren’t you the sweetest little thing, missing me like that? So precious.” Satoru covers the baby in kisses and sweet words for nearly five straight minutes and they both love to bask in each other’s attention (you have the videos to prove it).

Something kinda funny tho is… you’re 98% sure your son can tell that Satoru will give into quickest lmfaoo. Your baby cries sometimes when you have to leave him, sure, and can definitely throw a fit when he wants your attention—but he seems to know to cry (or squeal, or babble, or screech) on demand for his sucker of a father. Nanami, Shoko, Megumi, and Yuuta (your on rotation band of baby sitters) have noticed that the kid loves to be held and has no shame gesturing for it—but they’ve never experienced the baby crying when they so much as step away for a moment, unless he’s hungry or needs to be changed. You don’t have the heart to tell Satoru he’s being played tho, so you just let them have their moment <333 (not that it would matter, Satoru can’t stand to see your kid cry in any capacity, so he’d go right back to giving in; plus it’s a win-win in his book anyway: baby stops crying, and he gets cuddles from his son).

(Then again, you think the need and love for attention might just be genetic, because Satoru has cried big tears a handful of times just leaving you and your baby at home for a few hours).

#anonymous #satoru ‘i’m not crying i’m just. really fucking SAD OKAY I MISS THEM!!!!’ gojo #satoru: maybe my eyes are misty!! so what!!! there’s a lady and baby gojo waiting for me at home and i’m HERE! I HATE IT HERE!!!!!!!! #can we talk about your lineup of babysitters tho LMFAOO #you have basically a father number 2 (the one u call on the most bc let’s be real. why wouldn’t you) + the kid ADORES him #also you can leave the kid w nanami for like. more than a day shoukd something happen. he’s the best #he’s gentle he’s reliable he’s safe he just. best godfather fr #shoko who the baby is obviously Safe with in the literal medical sense but god she needs a nap more than he does LMFAO #baby seems to like her tho and she’s always like ‘i can’t believe this is /satoru’s/ spawn’ #megumi is basically the kids older brother for all intents and purposes and the baby loves him :( #megumi gets the most squishes (see gently smacked with a baby palm) and kisses and megumi just. allows it :((( so cute :((( #yuuta whos always like you..:. are you sure you want ME to babysit? and then is a natural bye #like wdym you got him to eat the steamed cauliflower AND not spill his yogurt AND only have one outfit change? #anon u make me YEARN #gojo x reader #satoru.ask

[maretriarch]

have started to add chopped cauliflower and garlic and onion powder to my daily salad in a dish i like to call the "herby fully loaded" or the "breakroom buster" because it makes the breakroom smell like an olive garden. and by extension me i guess but i try and not let it get to me

#i really like cauliflower and once u add 2 tons of garlic and onion powder u can almost pretend its like croutons. crunch #sometimes i add broccoli too but i only really love broccoli stalks i know its lower calorie/higher volume than cauliflower but again. #crunch. #i know fully well i must smell like garlic i hate smelling like anything almost to a pathological extent and i know garlic is particularly #unpleasant to others....but also i really like garlic so

[hyperfixat]

hey!! I really love ur blog so so much rn! If you can, I'd like to request a neurodivergent MC? One that has certain foods they hate and have never told anyone since their family had forced them to try them since they were little? (Ex. Cauliflower, brussel sprouts, blueberries, bananas, carrots) and so, one day, when theyre all eating (at the HoL or just out) and they notice MC eating all but those foods on their plate? Sorry if this is a bit too specific, I just really can't write it properly for myself and i would like to have some form of comfort-

Anyway, have an amazing day!!

anon i am holding you so close rignt now this cured my writers block this is the first ask i’ve got in like two months TT 

i am incapable of writing anything not hurt comfort so there is some ‘oh man im so sad :(‘ at the beginning but yk if u said u like my writing i imagine u kinda expected this

warning for mentions of throw up and actually eating the bad foods :(

and yes yes yes i love writing explicitly nd mcs!! i added in another obstacle to the req; freaky demon food bcs thats always fun to consider. That way u can kinda make the demon food similar to whatever food u want in ur mind, anyhow, the words u wanted;

/

You push the pile of purple (purple!?) mashed… something from one corner of your plate to the center.  First you had to go to a strange demon school where all of your peers are so much scarier and larger than you and now you’ve been presented with whatever the hell this is for dinner.

You think Leviathan (Levi — it feels so odd referring to him so casually having just met him) was the one that made it.  There was a protein on the plate, you ate that with no issues, but. 

Urgh. This?

It’s your second night sleeping in the House of Lamentation and you don’t feel nearly comfortable or safe enough to get a snack on your own, especially at night. You’ve had such a long day at RAD and your body is dying for some food.

Disguising your disgusted reluctance with a carefully blank face, your grab some of the.  The stuff. 

Ah, nope.  You set your fork down quietly after taking a slow bite / swallow and grab your cup to drown the leftover flavors and textures.  

Luckily all the demon brothers seem pretty into their dinnertime banter and didn’t notice your… less than satisfactory reaction to the food.

Gosh, you don’t want to offend any of them, especially not so early on in the year you’ll have to room with them.  

It’s a good thing that Beelzebub is practically a food vacuum and doesn’t question the nearly untouched pile of. Well you know. Left over on your plate.

/

…It’s official. You hate Devildom cuisine.  

Is the universe playing one big, cruel joke on you?  What the hell is wrong with demons?  Why must the eat the worst things in the world?  Why… why… why?

Lucifer wouldn’t let you starve under his roof, and provides you with full meals and makes it clear what parts of the kitchen are free to raid (as not to take anything designated to anyone else).  You feel like the most ungrateful human in the whole wide world right now.

It’s been quite a few months since the start of the exchange program and you’ve been… getting by.  Okay, that’s not exactly true, you’ve been having a blast in most aspects of your stay in the Devildom.  Most.

There’s still the teeny tiny issue of the cuisine not quite fitting your tastes.  You’ve tried talking to Solomon about the Devildom cuisine and he tried to cheer you up with some authentic human world cuisine, but as it turns out his cooking is far worse than Devildom-style food.

Not to be dramatic, but you’re suffering in silence.  You get by, as in you’re not hungry – the demons you’ve grown oh so fond of wouldn’t let that happen.  They always seem willing to fetch you anything.  

You’re trying so hard not to hurt any feelings, because you love them and want to support them.  It’s just.  You want to throw up almost every meal.  (Barbatos’ little treats have been your saving grace – he always seems to have some yummy little snack on him.  One that you like and doesn’t make you feel like your throat is crawling out of your mouth.)

Most of the time the brothers don’t pay much thought to what you leave on your plate – as long as you eat some of what was served they seem content.  Even on nights where the meal is more nasty than good, it’s easy to just say you’re not that hungry.

This night was bound to happen at some point.  Your plate is uneatable.  It’s edible, just uneatable.  It’d be more humiliating to choke down a few bites than it is to go to bed hungry.  You wrinkle your nose when you think no one is looking and stab at the meat chunk.

Your eyes are downcast and you drag your knife lazily through the food.  It’s mesmerizing in a way, so much so that you don’t notice at first when Asmo calls your name.

“MC, is something wrong? Are you feeling alright?”  At this point he’s drawn the attention of his brothers as well.

“Yeah, you’re barely eating,” Mammon supplies.

Ah, the moment you’ve been dreading and hoped you would never have to face.

“Oh, I don’t have much of an appetite right now.”  Which certainly isn’t a lie.  

“You didn’t eat much at lunch, hon.” Asmo reaches across the table to put the back of his manicured hand on your forehead to feel for a fever.

You cringe, “uhm, well.  I’m.”  You fail to think of a decent lie quick enough – nothing you say will be believable as you mentally blue screen.

“Honest answer?”  Satan prods.

“I’m not the biggest fan of some Devildom foods.” “Not the biggest fan?”  Beel questions, “you dislike them enough to forgo eating entirely.”  

“I’m trying not to sound like an ungrateful jerk right now.  Give me a moment to word this properly.”

Satan scoffs. “Just say it.  Whatever you have to say can’t be worse than what we’ve put you through.”

“Damn, okay.  The food makes me wanna throw up when I eat it.”

Levi, the chef of the night, folds in on himself, face darkening with shame or embarrassment.

“It’s not a personal gripe, most meals have something that makes me feel that way, hon.” It seems your attempt to comfort him isn’t appreciated though, as Levi shoves his face in his hands.

Lucifer sets his fork down. “And why haven’t you said anything to any of us about this?  We want you to feel at home here.”

“You can’t expect me to be comfortable barging into what was at the time a strangers house and demand they make special accommodations for me, then once I was comfortable enough to say something I felt I put up with it long enough that it’d be odd to bring it up out of nowhere.”

“Fair enough,” Satan nods along.

“No? Not ‘fair enough’!” Mammon scolds.  “You shoulda said something to me!  Do you even like half the snacks I give you?  I spent good Grimm on those!”

Memories of bribing Beelzebub to do certain errands in the earlier days of your Devildom stay flicker through your mind.  “They got eaten.”

“MC,” Lucifer brings the conversation back on track.  “Let us know foods you don’t want to eat, we may be demons, but we’re here to provide you with a comfortable stay.”  You nod under his sincere gaze.  “Now, give your plate to Beel and order some delivery.  I’ll cover the costs, as long as you eat.”  

As you shove your plate across the table you see Lucifer pulling a shiny black card from his coat pocket.  He gestures for you to come and take it.  You walk to the head of the table and he presses the card into your hand. 

“Order whatever you’d like.  My treat.”  There’s a glint of humor in his eyes and you look down to see Goldie in your palm.

#verified hyperfixat post #obey me #obey me x reader #obey me x mc #om hcs #obey me hcs #obey me hurt/comfort #obey me headcanons #obey me headcanon #obey me x you #obey me demon brothers #hyperfixat answers

[legendofmorons]

I was walking to class and had an idea, hopefully it makes you smile. But thoughts on how the chain would react to reader letting them borrow soundproof headphones/earbuds? I could see a funny game of telephone happening.

Ooooooooh!!! This!!! I like this!

I think all of the chain would be interested in soundproof headphones/earbuds. I also think telephone would be kind fun too.

Four is delighted by how effective the soundproofing is! He has a lot on his mind so often it's nice to lose the background noise

Hyrule is curious and a little confused until he tried the soundproof headphones. He isn't interested in using them most of the time but if he were really overwhelmed he'd like it

Legend can now finally drown out the stupidity (joking, of course he's fond of the chain and of reader.) But he appreciates them on nights he stays in an inn

Sky is amazed at how well they work but dosen’t really want to use them often. Only when he can't stand something.

Time is surprised they exist, but he likes them. Sometimes, it's nice to only have your thoughts (sometimes it is not).

Twilight thinks their great if he's overestimulated, especially since I figure being Wolfie has left him with enhanced senses.

Warriors only likes them at night if someone is on watch. They're nice but he hates losing any of his senses

Wild likes the concept but dosen’t like that his ear still rings with them

Wind thinks their great! He's probably the one who suggested telephone with them to be honest

As far as telephone goes, once everyone has the soundproof headphones or earbuds on and gets in line you chose the phrase.

For this one, we'll say it's "Look at all those chickens!" (Yes, it's from what you think)

You tell Wind, who seems a little confused but happily turns to Legend and says "look at all clothes chickpeas!"

This does not get better. Hyrule is bat at reading lips, and Time purposefully reads Warriors lips wrong

You end up with Sky, who, after all the boys are free of their soundproofing, confidently reveals that he thinks the phrase is "cook that cauliflower coffee."

This is very wrong, but it's worth it when everyone laughs

When you tell them the actual starting phrase they are delighted

They will play this again

#lu #linkeduniverse #misty answers #lu four #lu hyrule #lu legend #lu sky #lu time #lu twilight #lu warriors #lu wild #lu wind #lu x reader #peepthatbish

[dearmrsawyer]

my GARDEN is DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It took 2 years but we made it 🎉🎉🎉 its life story under the cut

last year i dug up all the roses that the previous owners of this house had planted in this space. I HATE ROSE PLANTS. They're VERMIN. It took me a year (interrupted by la niña) to finally get them all out because i had to dig so far down to remove as much root system as i could. i learned that after the first attempt at removing them, where they all simply grew back because i left too many roots in tact 🙃 due to continued la niña last summer i wasn't able to get the space all the way ready so i spent autumn weeding everything that grew in the rain, digging about a foot into the ground to remove as much old dirt (and more roots) as i could, and tidying up everything we'd dumped there while the space was disused. I had pictures of that stage in the process but i can't find them, just know it looked like a garbage dump hahaha. i got all that done right as the temperature started to drop so i laid out a bunch of tarps to minimise the number of weeds that would grow back over winter and waited.

and then! SPRING. I ordered the soil back in September, 8 cubic metres of it which was definitely more than i needed sdkjlgfdkj but how am i supposed to know what a cubic metre is 😅 i was SO excited when it arrived (first photo), quickly followed by 'oh god i need to move all of this myself.' thankfully we had great weather in september so i could use every free moment i had for two weeks shoveling it into our wheelbarrow and then wheeling it down to tip into the garden area (the conclusion of my work in photo 2 lol). It was only at that point that i was like oh boy okay i REALLY have too much soil here. i filled up every single pot i could find and i added some more dirt to to our citrus tree garden in the courtyard since the existing soil had settled by that point and could use a top up. it still felt like way more than i had planned to buy BUT i thought you know what would be good, i could create tiers to organise the vegetables by how deep their roots grow! i laid down a couple of layers of newspaper to deter anything from the existing dirt growing up into my new soil and then started flattening it out. when we first moved in here there was a tonne of random building material around that the previous owners left behind, and we never got rid of it because we figured a purpose would eventually arise. and my garden was it. i collected all the cement blocks and bricks down the side/behind the house, plus the random lattices that had been piled up where our yard meets the neighbour's, and a scrap of fence leftover from the one we put alongside our driveway last year. There were also heaps of random planks of wood, and some logs from a tree that we trimmed earlier in the year. and i used ALL of it (picture three).

Then a couple of weeks ago i finally got to plant my seeds :D (final product, final photo) the tall section up the back is for the deep root veges, so i've planted pumpkin and cucumber there. in the middle i've planted zucchini, cabbage, cauliflower, silverbeet, radish and green beans. and the shallowest area down the bottom has beetroot, celery, lettuce, broccoli and snow peas. also a passionfruit plant in the corner :) i've also scattered flower seeds all over as i've read that it helps to attract pollinators/insects that will eat other insects that want to eat my vegetables. i've put a couple of flowering herbs into pots down there too, and i marked where i planted everything with sticks so i can remember dskfdklj also i drew myself a map.

i'm so thrilled with it :') its such a good space and now it will be useful! there's a good chance some of my seeds won't sprout as they're a couple of years old, but some of them are new and anyway i don't care, whatever grows will grow and whatever doesn't i'll try again in autumn. its just so exciting to have a garden to tend again, i know that i need to be able to just put my hands in dirt sometimes, it is a very helpful outlet, and also will maybe save us grocery money \o/

#i love staring at it through the lounge room window #i go and stand there everyday and just look at it lol #im so proud of it and so excited its finally come together!!! #its feel so good to see a vision realised #tp

[hopeamarsu]

congratulations on your milestone!! i would like to request Clyde Logan with “Your eyes are beautiful” fluff or angst or a little in between. Whatever you feel fits the prompt.

Thank you so much! ❤️

I decided to combine angst and fluff and so this ended up as exes to lovers situation where it hurts in the start, but hopefully feels good at the end. I hope you enjoy!

Beautiful eyes

Clyde Logan x gn!reader

Word count 1,4k

Rating Teen

Warnings: Exes to lovers (or breakup to makeup), angst, fluff. Reader has a favorite drink.

Summary: He misses you, but most of all, he misses your beautiful eyes granting him calm. Using the prompt “Your eyes are beautiful”.

Your eyes are beautiful.

He just hates that now whenever he sees you, you hide them from him. Every time your eyes accidentally meet, you lower your gaze or look the other way and it breaks him.

And the worst part is that Clyde now sees you everywhere. In the market, leaving the local library building after your shift when he’s entering the place, every night in his dreams and now here, in his bar where your friends must’ve dragged you to. You haunt him, your beautiful eyes now sad and it’s all his fault.

Well, his and his brothers stupid cauliflower plan. The plan Jimmy promised him would do no harm. But it did the worst kind of harm because that single word, cauliflower, cost him you.

Ever since Clyde got out of Monroe Correctional Facility, he’s been living in a world where you no longer greet him with sleepy kisses when he crawls into your bed after a night shift, a world where he no longer can scent you on his pillow, a world where burnt bacon doesn’t taste the same since you no longer cook it for him. A world where he no longer can gaze into your beautiful eyes and tell you just how much it brings him calm to do so.

He knows now he should’ve let you in on the plan from the start. He trusts you with his life, even now, and he should’ve let you in. But hiding the truth, evading your attempts at visiting him at the prison, actively lying to you when you begged him to speak what was troubling him, those were the little moments that chipped away your trust in him.

Even if all those moments were done because he wanted to protect you from harm, Clyde can’t blame you for wanting space, for wanting to figure out where you stood with him and eventually choosing to part ways. It kills him, makes him wither away like a flower without a sun, but he’ll shoulder that pain because it’s what he deserves.

He’s always wanted what’s best for you and if being with him isn’t the best, then you have made the right call. Even if his heart lies shattered on the floor, crumbled into dust, Clyde wishes you will get everything you want in life. He’s had his moment with the sun, but being a creature not worthy of the rays long term, he will slink back into the shadows. It’s his place and he cannot ask for more than his place.

“Clyde?”

“Hmm?” He turns to his bartender, the one Mellie had hired during his absence and the one he’s kept on board afterwards since the guy is good. Really good. Maybe even better bartender than Clyde. He’s kind, friendly to the patrons and never loses his temper. He’s never late, doesn’t complain about anything and Clyde thinks Mellie struck gold with this one and he’s not about to mess that up.

“The group in the booth,” The man gestures at your table, keeping his voice low. “They wished for the…” He rattles off the name of the bottle, before he continues”…and, ummm, it’s on the list but I can’t find the bottle.” He grins sheepishly before shrugging.

“Before I tell ‘‘em the bad news, I wanted to check with you.”

The name makes Clyde swallow audibly. It’s your drink. The one you had when something went especially well and you wanted to celebrate or to complete hell, so you needed a pick-me-up.

He has one bottle of it and he keeps it in his office just for you. Even after your breakup, Clyde didn’t have the heart to move it in with the rest of the bottles, holding on to a silly reminder of you.

“Yeah,” He gruffs. “Ah ‘ave it. Is in mah office. I’ll serve it fer ‘em.” His colleague nods and disappears back into the comfort of the bar top, smiling at the next patron and Clyde lets out a long breath.

He can do this.

He can pick up the bottle from his office, walk over to you and your friends, check that the bottle is correct and pour the drinks. In and out, two minutes tops. He’ll be polite, bask in your warmth without it being creepy and if he’s lucky, that will sustain him for a good long while. It will be alright, Clyde tells himself as a weak prep talk.

It takes but a few moments to pick up said bottle and make his way across the bar. He’s a ball of nerves but he holds it in, keeping a tight lid on his emotions. There’s four people sitting in the booth with you and all the heads turn in his direction when he stops in front of the rounded table. Clyde picks up the bottle, holding the neck with his metallic hand - his new, improved hand - and places it on the table with a soft click.

“I’m sorry ta keep ya waitin’, it took meh a moment ta ge’ ‘his. How many glasses fer yeh?”

The one he thinks you call Cam winks at him, not so subtly before rising up from the booth. “I need a change in music.” The others follow, citing a need to go to the bathroom or going out for a smoke, whatever. They are clearly doing it to give Clyde a moment alone with you and by the way your beautiful eyes shine with a small flicker of hope, you are not opposed to talking with him.

“Hi.”

“Hi darlin’.” The nickname slips out automatically but before Clyde can retract it, you grip his flesh hand softly. You find his eyes and once more he’s swept into the endless depths he thought he’d never get the privilege to look upon again.

“Can we talk, Clyde?” You ask softly, still holding his hand and he nods just as softly. You gesture for him to sit next to you and he quickly does. He knows he’s no good with words, but for this, for a chance like this, he’ll try his hardest to say what he’s hoped to say for so long.

“Darlin’, I’m so…” Your finger on his lips stops him before he can even formulate his words and Clyde is sure his eyebrows reach his dark hairline. Your finger leaves his lips, the ghost of a touch making him shiver and the smile you grant him makes his ears burn with delight.

“I’m sorry Clyde.”

Wait, what? Clyde is sure his eyebrows have completely disappeared by now in surprise. He doesn’t understand, why are you apologizing to him? You did nothing wrong! Before he can voice his protests, you continue.

“I was mad and upset when you didn’t tell me what happened. And when you refused to see me when I tried visiting the facility, the hurt burrowed a large hole in my chest. Every day it grew larger and larger until I couldn’t take it anymore. That’s why I left.” You sigh, before shaking your head. “But I know you Clyde Logan, I know who you are in your heart. And I judged you before I even let you explain to me, which left us both hurting. I am so sorry I hurt you.”

”No need ta apologize, darlin’. There’s nothing ta forgive. I’m the one tha’ should be sorry. An’ I am darlin’, I’m so sorry I didn’t let ya in. I should’ve and I didn’t. Please, can ya forgive a bartender so in love with ya tha’ he saw no other way of protectin’ ya?”

He breathes the words out quickly, wanting you to understand he holds nothing against you. You are far too good to him and he’s the one who messed up. He messed up so bad. All he wants is to do it right this time.

“Oh Clyde…” You sigh, the abyss of your eyes changing and evolving. He’s transfixed. He’s always been transfixed by your eyes and how they are unable to hide anything you feel. It makes you a lousy poker player, but it’s the one thing he’s always loved about you the most.

“Can I kiss ya, darlin’?” Clyde's voice whispers, barely loud enough for you to hear. He leans a little closer, sharing space with you as the bar falls away “Ah, I’d like ta kiss ya, please.”

Your eyes flutter closed when his lips press on yours, a soft and gentle kiss that is unhurried, solid yet shy. But there is no rush, this kiss is perfect now, Clyde hums, letting his senses be filled with you. Your beautiful eyes might be hidden from him now but at this moment, he’s okay with that. The kiss is a promise that he can get lost in them again and again.

*

(please let me know if you want to be added or removed from the list any time!)

Everything taglist @clydesducktape @miraclesabound @10blurredsmoke10 @caillea @princessxkenobi @sixshooter665 @amneris21 @greeneyedblondie44 @beecastle

ADCU taglist @historyandfandoms50 @sacklerscumrag @daydreamsofren @fizzywoohoo @direnightshade @joyfulfirefury @cornmousequeen @eagerforhoney @leatherboundbirate​ @loganluckylover @mariesackler @a-true-janian-reply @themuseic @strangunddurm

#hopeamarsu milestone celebration #clyde logan #clyde logan x reader #clyde logan x you #clyde logan imagine #logan lucky fanfiction #adam driver character fic #fluff #angst #my writing #Hopeamarsu

[illegiblehandwriting1]

21

I was going to make a joke about how 9+10 isn't 21 but me+hyperfixation is, but eh

---

Four: Small creatures are much more vicious because they have a smaller body to bottle up all their emotions. Warrior: Ridiculous. Give me some examples. Wild: Wasps? Hyrule: Terriers? Four: Laavi.

---

Laavi: Just be careful, Four! ch15 Four: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Laavi! Four: It's everything around me that's careless.

---

Four: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli. Laavi, eyes wide: I know what I saw.

---

Laavi: That's not funny. Shadow: I thought it was funny. Laavi: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

---

Four: Why are you guys acting like this? Laavi: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

---

ch15 Laavi: Fine! I don't give a shit! Four: You seem to give a lot of shit for someone who claims not to give a shit.

---

Laavi: Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life. Sky: Fluffy and dead with a gust of wind? Laavi: Unapologetic. Hard to kill. Feral, filled with sunlight, bright, beautiful in a way that the conventional and controlling hate but cannot ever fully destroy. Stubborn. Happy. Bastardous. Friends with bees. Highly disapproving of lawns. Full of wishes that will be carried far after I die. Hyrule: Edible.

---

Festari: Where have you been all day? ch15-[redacted] Laavi: Oh, just dealing with things way beyond my maturity level.

#i think it's funny that i had to re-edit a couple of these to avoid spoilers lol #s&a laavi #minish oc #lu sky #lu four #linked universe #source: incorrect quote generator #lu incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #smoke & april #smoke & ashes #chicken scratch

[utilitycaster]

Do you have any tips for a level 8 light cleric on how to be better at preventative healing? For context, I just joined a campaign where there's a house rule that healing from unconsciousness gives the healed target a level of exhaustion. Many guides for clerics tell you to wait until people are unconscious to healing word them, which would be detrimental in this campaign. When I asked a thread of self proclaimed dnd "optimizers" for advice, I was told by 3 people to wait until level 9 and stock up on diamond dust for greater restoration.

Hey anon,

So, to be honest, I hate the unconscious exhaustion rule, and so while I think the “optimizers” you spoke to aren’t dealing thoughtfully with your reality or actually listening to you, I do get where they are coming from. I also want to apologize for using this as an opportunity to vent a lot of stress, and have given you a brief summary in which I try to be normal and placed the venting at the bottom where you can ignore it.

The short-ish answer in which I am normal:

It’s ok and good to just heal people after they’ve taken a hit, and I actually disagree quite strongly with the strategy of waiting until people go unconscious to heal; pre-emptive healing is actually very smart. Also, talk to your party members! It is not metagaming to say “how are you doing”; it’s an acknowledgement that you cannot actually see the imaginary blood from their imaginary wounds. Build a strategy in which you use your cantrips and channel divinity, or if your stats permit, weapon attacks, to deal damage; and spam healing word. Alternately, if you’re willing to get up close and personal, Cure Wounds and Spiritual Weapon pair well together.

Buffing the party, particularly their HP, before combat is very useful. The spell “Aid” is your best friend. Casting Sanctuary on yourself and then focusing ONLY on buffs is not a bad idea either; Warding Bond and Beacon of Hope are also your friends.

This rule sucks and is very poorly balanced. It is worth talking to your DM about how it really hamstrings healers in particular, and has the potential to become a massive death spiral, and honestly isn’t fun or interesting. Ask them why they’ve chosen to use this house rule, and see if you can’t make the case for getting rid of it, because it is terrible.

The long answer in which I am unhinged, but am hopefully funny to someone other than myself, and largely say the same thing as was said above, plus more, is below the cut.

The good news? Always waiting until people are unconscious to heal them fucking sucks as a strategy even without this rule and people who say to do it are wrong. It presumes the DM isn’t going to have a particularly bloodthirsty enemy hit when you’re down; it presumes the wizard doesn’t throw an errant fireball; it presumes they won’t roll a nat 1 on the death save; it presumes the healer doesn’t get stunned or knocked out before they can get to people. Like, yes, sure, the last hit point is the only one that matters, but if they have 10 HP, and you heal them for 5 HP so they have 15 HP, and then they take a hit of 11 HP, then they are still up! Do you only fill your car up when it’s on empty? Do you only go grocery shopping when there’s nothing in your house but freezer burnt cauliflower, uncooked brown rice, and baker’s chocolate? Do you only go to sleep when you start swaying and being utterly unable to focus your eyes? Or do you ENGAGE in some fucking PREVENTATIVE MAINTENANCE and SELF CARE from time to time?

So I don’t have a formula or anything, and anyone who does have a formula is either psychic or overconfident, but having played a main healer, heal people when they seem to have taken a few hits or when they say “I’m in rough shape.” Lean heavily on decent damage cantrips (you’ve got potent spellcasting) and don’t hold back on using Radiance of the Dawn. If someone’s taken a lot of hits? Healing word them.

Some other things to consider:

Aid is an under-utilized low-level cleric spell that grants 3 of your allies 5 temp HP for 8 hours, without concentration. If you upcast it you increase the temp HP by 5 per level, ie, if you’re willing to use a single 4th level slot on this, that’s 45 HP you don’t need to healing word bit by bit.

In general, look at buffs. See below for why I think the actual solution is to tell your DM that this rule is hot garbage and they should get good; but until such time as that has been resolved I strongly advise taking advantage of the extensive passive damage options available to you. The reason why I think that telling clerics, specifically, to only heal when a PC goes down is so fucking bad is because the cleric spell list is literally fucking built on the presumption that you cast one thing and then spam heal. Spiritual weapon is a bonus action so that does assume you’re doing cure wounds instead but Spirit Guardians, Sanctuary, Beacon of Hope, Warding Bond, and Protection from Energy will all either protect you, do damage without you having to cast a spell, protect your allies, or optimize the healing you get. Also, pick up Mass Healing Word so that one person going down doesn’t turn into multiple people going down.

Tell your DM that this rule is dumb and bad. Maybe be more tactful than that, but also, maybe don’t! Because this rule fucking sucks. Even Rusty Quill Gaming, which was run in the far more unforgiving pathfinder, by someone who delights naught but misery and subpar financial management skills, did not have this rule. It really does make the role of the main healer about a thousand times less fun, particularly for a light cleric who has access to such things as scorching ray and fireball. I like playing a healer; I was a primary healer bard main for several years which really is perhaps the most non-damaging character you could play, but I still do not actually wish to be a healbot, and this pushes the healer towards that, and it’s fucking stupid and unfair and if I find whatever Reddit knuckledragger came up with it, I will make them require healing and take a point of exhaustion, that’s for fucking sure.

It’s a radical concept, I know, but what if the rules of D&D as written were, perhaps,  means tested by people who considered both game balance and player enjoyment! The overwhelming majority of house rules are made by people who think their cheeky little addition makes them fucking Marcel Duchamp creating L.H.O.O.Q. but they are in fact a toddler drawing on the wall with a crayon that they are then going to stick up their nose, and then try to eat. 

I mean, this is wildly out of scope for this question, but I think a lot of people see D&D Ideas (TM) on the internet that, at best, are made for very specific scenarios and should be used sparingly, in those specific scenarios, after serious discussion with everyone at the table and ideally unanimous approval, and should be frequently reviewed to see if they still work for everyone. At worst they are just like, things that suck that someone added because they lacked the self-control to simply admire the shiny red fire hydrant that is Dungeons & Dragons 5e and instead just had to piss on it to mark their miserable little territory. And I think people are reluctant to say “hey this house rule sucks” because it’s something someone created, but on the whole I think the majority of house rules suck and shouldn't have been created! And house rules you find on the internet usually SUCK MORE because you’re NOT EVEN IN THE HOUSE THEY WERE INTENDED FOR.

The exhaustion rule is also particularly stupid because I think the motivation is often said to be “realism” and it’s like, well, in real life people cannot cast Eldritch Blast, you fucking idiot, and not becoming exhausted by a little concussion from a troll's club is part and parcel of that same fantasy world.

One of the many really good things Brennan Lee Mulligan said recently on Adventuring Academy is that players learn the logic of the world from the DM. If every NPC attacks the party, suddenly the party will begin attacking first. If going unconscious grants exhaustion…well then why get in fights? Why not focus on assassination or deception for encounters? Why not fucking quit and become potato farmers? Why not take two nights rest after each fight, saying “well we know the world is ending tomorrow, but consider: we have a level of exhaustion because of YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT”? Why not start stealing health potions, if this is the logic of the world you live in? Why not run away from encounters if your health is getting low - monsters do that all the time!

I think people forget that D&D is actually a relatively delicate balance, and this is looping back around to what I said about means testing. Like, have a mature talk with your DM like an adult and give them a chance to say "oh, that makes sense" because it could be that they are well-intentioned and merely inexperienced. But if they still cling to this rule after you tell them that it sucks, I am giving you carte blanche to engage in blisteringly malicious compliance in and out of game. Conspire with the rest of the party to all take the tough feat. Bully the magic shop owner for HP-boosting items. Generally become the living worst, because this house rule is AWFUL.

Anyway: tell your DM to rethink this, heal early and often, use buffs, and if your DM does not rethink having this as their house rule then burn down their house or at least rethink having them as your DM.

#answered #Anonymous #d&d mechanics #long post

[seiko-yume]

Bishop headcanons

This is a long post, so I'll cut it here for anyone who isn't interested.

EDIT: added Narinder since he's technically a bishop too, and I have a few more HCs for him that I didn't make during the time of the Narinder and Lamb HCs.

Leshy

Physical age is stuck in his early 20's

Absolutely minuscule in size compared to the other bishops and followers (Shorter than Heket and Lamb)

Likes to put his hands in a raptor formation

Hates being touched in any manner (ex: being pet, or picked up)

Experiences sensory overload more often than before becoming a follower due to his heightened sense of smell and hearing when he went blind.

Burrows underground when he feels discomfort, or on the verge of a meltdown.

Vegan, cannot digest meat or any animal food product.

Enjoys gardening, even though he can't see. He likes the different smells and textures of plants.

Extremely quick to resort to violence in disagreements with other followers.

Goes apeshit over rain (he really likes rain)

Heket

VERY subtly petty, and knows exactly what'll make you tick.

Can crack open an ostrich egg in one punch

Will absolutely hold her own on a crusade, without being turned into a demon.

Learned sign language from the Lamb, since speaking causes her pain.

Transgender MtF

Food-motivated, loves to cook. Developed from a famine-causing goddess to hating seeing any follower go hungry.

The only one in the Old Faith family without any kind of food allergy, or dietary restriction.

Heavyset build. Height is similar to Narinder's

Sleeps long hours, and is late to nearly every sermon.

Exclusively T4T due to bad experience with transphobic people.

Physical age is stuck at 25

Loves bathing and soaking in water.

Narinder

Middle child syndrome (gets forgotten by the other bishops, but is legally allowed to bonk them for it.)

While chained, his legs were broken to prevent him from escaping easily. They weren't able to heal correctly. He currently uses forearm crutches, or a cane to get around.

Second tallest next to Shamura

Very thin build from naturally high metabolism. Heket tries to feed him more, but his body just turns it all into pure rage instead of fat.

Demiboy. Uses both he/him and she/her pronouns.

Lactose intolerant, but eats dairy-based dessert anyways. Constantly has IBS from this and can fill an outhouse halfway. Followers beg him to stop eating dairy (he doesn't and earned the "Poopshitter" nickname from Lamb.)

Severe allergy to fish and shellfish.

Likes to do makeup, and is actually really artsy with it.

Had an emo phase (and still is)

Severe guilt and self-loathing around his siblings. Feelings of guilt are especially intense around Shamura. Shamura tries their best every day to show him that they forgive him.

Gets stuck in a tree at least twice a week

Kalamar

The most dramatic of cult drama-queens. There's a new crisis happening with him every week.

Got a septum piercing after learning he couldn't reattach his amputated (pierced) ears.

Refuses to learn sign language, despite being deaf. He's exceptionally well at reading lips, however.

Monologues about how handsome, and beautiful his temple was, usually to himself because he doesn't realize that other members had walked away.

Accidentally discovered Narinder had a deadly allergy to seafood while Nari was a kitten. (He had to babysit him, and fed him fish stew because he thought cats liked fish.)

Doesn't like to do assigned work in the cult, but enjoys forging weapons and jewelry.

Very picky eater. Almost everything makes him sick. No known food allergies, but is known to be intolerant to meat, fish, dairy, certain vegetables, mushrooms, most fruits, and bread. He usually eats cauliflower soup to stay on the safe side.

Had several near-death experiences due to illness as a child.

Very lithe and underweight. Tentacles give the illusion of being heavier than average.

Physical age is stuck at 33.

Shamura

Severe migraines and memory problems.

Tries to dissent against the Lamb due to often forgetting the entire chunk of their life from Narinder's betrayal to dying at the hands of the Lamb.

Has crying fits upon recalling parts of their life they forgot, and fears the next time they'll forget.

Clings to the other siblings, needing constant physical reassurance they're still alive. They're unable to sleep alone.

Had to re-learn basic motor skills including how to speak when they were first indoctrinated.

Knits and crochets in their spare time.

Likes to watch dance circles, but avoids any activity that might cause a migraine.

Allergic to camellia flowers. Avoids farming and seeking the medbay when sick.

Taller than Narinder (HC Narinder is the tallest member before his siblings were indoctrinated)

AFAB

Has always yearned to become a parent during the time they were a god, but could never bear any children due to being infertile. When they found several infant gods, they couldn’t help but take them under their wing.

Physical age is stuck at 40

#headcanons #cult of the lamb spoilers #spoilers

[blushblush-readerinsertsnthings]

Hello there! Are you doing requests? If yes, can you do some dating headcanons for Seth, Poe and Scale pls?

yes, absolutely! some of my favorite bois <3 <3 <3

POE

Honestly, dating him is about what you’d expect, with a few little surprises sprinkled in for fun. Gotta keep things fresh, can’t have you getting super bored of him. He’s the kind of guy who likes to hang out in graveyards and he’s a bit morbid… but at the same time, he’s definitely down-to-Earth. Compared to some of the other guys, he’s almost normal.

Writes poetry about you sometimes? While he doesn’t advertise it, he’s a romantic at heart. He likes doing those sappy things, comparing the touch of your hand in his hair to the cool breeze of a mausoleum, and your kiss is like the first breath that the dead take upon resurrection… perhaps he keeps writing these things because you’re the first person to truly appreciate his dark, flowery language.

He texts you a lot, especially if you have a job or studies that keep you away. He’s got more free time, being a student (one who can admit to slacking off somewhat in areas which don’t interest him), so he can get slightly bored and when he’s bored, his mind wanders to you. To see Hey. Hanging out in the library. And I’m thinking of you. I might check out this book… wanna come summon demons with me later? ;) with a picture of him smirking behind some ancient-looking tome makes you very happy. Maybe you’ll even consider it! Would be a hell of a way to spend a Saturday night, huh?

‘Melancholy flower’/’melon cauliflower’ for a vegan emo isn’t the only pun he has up his sleeve. He’s also got other small references too, and puns aren’t his preferred method of one-lining. If it’ll get you to smile, however, he’ll use them. Particularly if he feels awkward and doesn’t think he has much else to say, he’ll pun. A well-timed quip of, “Well, look at that. Good for them; they’ve got one foot in the rave.” in response to a couple of elderly partygoers decked out in glow sticks will have you giggling, at least. Or he hopes it will. He almost wishes you’d never stop laughing, it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

In addition to just texting you a bunch, he also loves to send you naughty pictures. Nothing too bad that anyone else would be appalled to seeing on your phone… just tiny things to tease you. Photos of him wearing a new pair of skeleton underwear accompanied by a caption of, What do you think? Too many bones? 😉 Or maybe a pic of his hand resting on his bare thigh, with the excuse that he wants to know what you think of the nail polish he just put on. All’s fair, isn’t it? He definitely wants you thinking about him.

For all that he pretends to be a dark and troubled bad boy, his ideal date night is… getting some takeout, watching a horror flick, and falling asleep on the couch cuddled up in your arms. (Or with you cuddled in his. He’s not picky about that part, as long as there’s cuddling going on!) Often when that happens, he’ll wake up in the middle of the night, gaze fondly at you for a few minutes, and then drift off with a hint of a smile on his face. It’s so disgustingly domestic and he hates how much he loves it.

SCALE

A relationship?? What’s… what’s that??? He’s clueless. And he’s not clueless by virtue of not being intelligent, because he’s very smart. He just… has struggled in connecting with people, for a very long time. Before you, he never really had romance with anyone. His mind was laser-focused on his job, so it was as if he never had time for anything else. Just… be patient with him. He loves you, but he’s very much still learning how to exist inside a romantic relationship.

That said, he’s surprisingly good at knowing how to be a partner. That might be mostly because he’s aware and observant, to the point that he just… notices things about you. He knows what your preferred morning drink is, and he knows what it looks like when you’re tired or in pain, and his heart has begun to beat to match the cadence of your speech. And if there’s something he doesn’t know, he has no shame in asking. (Well… usually.) He brings you a drink or painkillers if you need, encourages you to rest when it seems you’ve been overworking, and he knows how to make you laugh. He very much takes pride in being the best partner for you that he can be.

Uh. Well. It’s. It’s just. He’s an assassin! He’s a serial killer who takes commissions! His lifestyle, while entirely badass as far as he’s concerned, is also dangerous. He’s excellent at what he does, but the fact is that sometimes he has a bad day or his target has a good day. To say nothing of rivalries or competition between assassins, particularly during ‘open’ hits that directly pit them against each other. He will come home injured, it’s just a matter of when it happens. Hopefully you’re not too attached to your carpets, because he’ll stagger in dripping blood all over them, begging you to let him take care of himself. Of course, that’s impossible, so there will definitely be times you’ll have to patch him up in the bathroom. He can’t go to the hospital, right? He… he trusts you to take care of him.

He has quite the singing voice, even if he vehemently denies that he likes to sing. Often he’ll start by humming while the two of you are relaxing and snuggling, and if you insist on watching a musical during movie night, he’ll usually start to sing along in a low voice. For whatever reason he’s embarrassed by it! Although the urge to sing ‘rose’ when he got transformed into a dragon, that is absolutely not to say it wasn’t there before. Singing relaxes him, and it might just be because he’s unpracticed in being vulnerable around people that singing in front of others, even you, flusters him a bit. Though… he likes it if you fall asleep to his singing. That’s flattering.

He can get… possessive. Nowhere near Cole levels of possessive or anything, but his one sore spot is that he is petrified of the idea that he might not be ‘cool’ in your eyes. He’s convinced that you’ll wake up one day, look at him, and go, “Oh, my GOD, you’re so boring.” before walking out of his life forever. And he can’t take that. He will do literally anything in the name of keeping you interested in him. Actually, up to and including admitting that he’s afraid you think he’s boring and that you’re going to leave him. However, it’s a win-win; you get the emotional openness and some meaningful intimacy out of him, and he gets the reassurance that you’re super fascinated with him and you’re not going anywhere. Honesty is SEXY!!!

SETH

Is it getting hot in here, or is just because he’s dragging the essence of hell behind him? Who knows at this point? It’s really his game and you’re just along for the ride. Maybe that’s how you like it. If that wasn’t how you like it, you probably wouldn’t be with him. He likes to do dangerous things, so you’ll have to be careful exactly which ones you do with him. He forgets sometimes that humans can’t take the kinds of abuse that demons can! So if he mentions a ‘vacation’ to his ‘hometown’ by ‘a beautiful lake’, guide him toward something else. That beautiful lake is made of fire, down in hell, and to you it’d be less a vacation and more like a nightmare. Oops! He tried.

Shockingly okay with the whole arrangement he has going with you. It’s a shame he can’t manipulate you, because you sort of see through all his tricks and no-sell any of the bad ideas, but he’s not too broken up. He’s convinced he’ll eventually find something you’ll fall for, so now he’s just biding his time. Except… during that time, he finds himself actually falling for you. That comes with not wanting to hurt you or betray your trust, which means that slowly he loses the urge to manipulate you at all. He goes from wanting your soul to just wanting your heart. Awwwww~!

You wanna wear his hoodie? He’ll let you wear his hoodie. Hell, if his clothes fit you, he’ll let you wear all of them. Not only is he totally fine walking around wearing very little or nothing at all, demons are possessive creatures by nature. It hits that button to see you covered in things that are his, which makes him a very happy little shit-stirrer. You’re so hot wearing all his clothes, (or, indeed, wearing replicas of them if his happen not to fit you), he might just decide to pin you down and kiss every inch of you.

Yes, he’s a demon. And a troublemaker. However, he’s also the Avatar of Woe. Being that he is that, he… has this strange kind of depression. His boredom and anguish and occasional apathy drive him to seek thrills, usually. Other times, though, the woe part overtakes him entirely. If he’s allowed himself to be vulnerable with you, there are times you’ll find him in bed, sobbing uncharacteristically, bunched up in the blankets and completely lost in sorrow. How you react will determine whether or not he lets you see that side of him ever again. As much of a front as he puts up, when the woe hits, all he really wants is to be held and comforted and know you’re there for him.

He’s kind of always touching you in some way, almost as if to stake his claim on you. If the two of you are out walking, he’s holding your hand. If you’re sitting around, he’s got an arm around your waist. He likes to have his hands on you, he likes to be touching and kissing and cuddling. In some ways he forgot what it was like to have a real romance with somebody, and apparently, he’s missed all those small, normal, soft touches. He’s making up for lost time and massive amounts of touch starvation, sue him!

#Blush Blush #Poe #Scale #Seth #headcanons #romantic #fluff #hurt/comfort #yes yes yessssssss <3

[snootlestheangel]

Can we get more bout Truck please

I love all your OCs dude they are the best

This honestly took so long at first, but I am really excited to share this! Truck is my big boy!

I'm gonna break this up actually, cause his backstory got way out of hand from my original thing so I'm gonna do a quick physical description/some of his little quirks before I get into the mess of his life!

He's probably like 42 in my head, so old compared to most of the Shadows but close to Graves's age. Around 5'8", broad build, an absolute unit of a man, hooked nose that has been very clearly broken several times, left ear is a cauliflower ear from a fight he got into as a teen, green eyes, looks angry all the time, has so many callouses on his hands and knuckles, so many scars from fights on his face. Those are little scars, but they're still there. GINGER TRUCK!! He so ginger in my head now and it makes me so happy!

Family: Momma is still alive, and he calls/writes her regularly, visits when he can. Pops died not long after he joined, which hurt like hell but he stayed on his course. His family supported him the whole way through. He's got two sisters, both younger, and he'd commit some pretty bad war crimes if anything bad ever happened to either of them. Surprisingly, he's married. He loves his wife but never talks about her; his life is his and not anyone else's. They don't have kids (yet? can't decide if I want him to have kids or not) but they do have 2 shelter dogs they adopted, and they're the cutest freaking things.

Hates anything carbonated, like sodas and stuff. Either drinks water with a little bit of lemon in it or straight black coffee. Doesn't do sweets (unlike Ness and Flash who live off of sweet stuff). Generally keeps a really good diet and workout routine when he's not in his shop. Such a routine oriented guy that it could only take 2 days to learn his full routine. Day two is just to verify everything.

As I've said before, he struggled a lot in school. It wasn't just his dyslexia (that he didn't know he has until sometime after joining); it was his anger issues. He was constantly getting into fights as a teenager. He had been bullied a lot as a kid. He's a ginger, so already was an easy target for bullying, but then you add that he was really poor compared to a lot of kids in the area, and he just became prime bully real estate. That is until he hit puberty and got tougher and stronger. Then he became a bully to his bullies.

He had to pick up a job in high school to afford lunch, and life was just really difficult in general for him. His parents were incredible people, he still has such a great relationship with his momma, but it doesn't change how difficult life had been for him.

His Pops taking him under his wing and teaching him mechanic things was a huge respite from all the icky stuff life threw at him. He got to spend quality time with his dad, which he rarely got to do as a kid cause of how much the man worked. He got to learn in a way that didn't stress him out and make his head hurt. He got to do things and sometimes his strength was necessary to get something fixed. The mechanic shop and the time with Pops probably saved Truck from getting into much more serious trouble as a teenager, so he feels he owes his Pops his life.

He has a lot of ways to cope with his anger issues that don't lead to either self destruction or hurting others. It's actually why he joined the military in the first place. He was once told by a really horrible teacher that if he didn't "shape up and start acting right" then he'd get shipped off to the army and they'd set him right. It was meant to be demeaning, kind of a way for the teacher to tell him that he's too stupid for the real world, the only people that would take him is the army. But for Truck? Free food, free housing, free education (should he want to try his luck at that again), a lot of benefits like insurance and stuff? Hell, decent pay??? Sign him the fuck up!

Not to mention, he wanted the military to shape him up, to make him "act right". You think other people don't like dealing with his anger issues? He loathes his anger issues. It cost him a lot of good friends and ruined trust with a lot of people cause he'd blow up over something stupid and the relationship would never recover. He ended up in the hospital one too many times (literally only once but given his family's financial issues, it was too many), and that was a low point for his family. He believes/knows it's his fault, and the guilt still hangs around.

The assignment that got him on Graves's radar for Shadow Company is actually how he met his wife. It was several years ago, probably around 6-8 years, but his wife was one of the nurses on staff that helped patch up the unit afterwards. Truck wasn't injured but she had been so worried and insisted on examining him. His teammates tried to discourage her from pushing him, cause he's got a super short temper, but they all were shook when he simply said "Okay, fine." and allowed her to examine him.

He insisted on getting in touch with her afterwards because "she's the one person that can push all my buttons and I'll never blow a fuse" *catch me crying in the corner over this fire sentence that I wrote*

Anyways, that's our boy Truck!!! I love him to death even more so now!!

#thank you for letting me rant about my boy Truck #I didn't know I needed it until just now #snootles's shadow ocs #shadow ocs #shadow company oc #shadow oc truck #snootles's askbox #snootles answers

[possession1981]

actually so i think most of u know i grew up fat right like i was fat by the time i was like 4/5 and it was remarked upon all the time by adults and my parents were trying to diet me+my sister our entire childhoods until i acquired an ed when i was 15 and lost a ton of weight in 3 months and since then it's only been my sister getting that shit from everyone in the family. but anyway, when i was like 10 and my sister was like 8? i think around that time, my mom was told by my uncle who'd always been fat (even after a gastric bypass) that she should look into LCHF (which, fun fact, is a term I guess he coined?) for me and my sister because he had been working with this alternative doctor out of a town 2-ish hours away from where we lived and he was like an expert on this new amazing method for weightloss which is actually the Healthiest Way To Live and Eat. so my mom drove me and my sister all the fuckin way there for a meeting in which this doctor basically just told my mom oh they need to eat max 50g carbs a day and just SO MUCH FAT. and my mom just swallowed that shit whole like she restructured our entire diet and forced my sister and i to eat like a pack of bacon + scrambled eggs cooked in bacon grease every single morning and we were absolutely not allowed potatoes, pasta, bread or rice. she tried to get us to have spoonfuls of butter as a snack. she tried to get us to drink heavy cream instead of milk. and neither of us lost weight despite going through all of that, which my sister didn't mind it was food to her taste but it made me so fucking sick and miserable i didn't know what to fucking do, and then she just got even stricter with it and that shit went on for like 3 years until she finally gave up. and the entire time she was making my dad different meals including carbs n shit because he absolutely would not change the way he ate just because his kids were fat so i had to watch my dad eat potatoes with his dinner wishing i could have one because cheese-baked cauliflower gets really nauseating when you eat it nearly every fucking day and sometimes you really want a fucking carb with your meat and cream-based sauce. anyway that's why i hate low carb diets i know they work for some people but they press my fucking buttons intensely.

#p

[fluffypotatey]

Leverage Ep 11 >:3

Pre-game thoughts:

ngl the last episode was a lot of fun! got to see Nate at his breaking point, Sophie being the best (as always), ALEC AND ELIOT DUO!!!!!

also it looks like this one focuses on Parker? (at least, that’s what the blurb says 🤷��‍♀️) so praying for more moments for my ot3 🥰 either as duos or altogether, I do not care. just want them to have screen time 

anyway, can’t really think of anything else to add???

I mean, this is the last episode before the 2-parter finale, so I’m curious if this will touch on…..the ✨insurance company✨and that uh Crowley-looking dude (unrelated to GO!Crowley, a show I should also watch)

BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT ON WITH THE SHOW ✨ 

Reaction:

ooooooh a flashback 👀

Ok that was not a safe dose

AHHHHHH THE STOVE

NOOOOOOOOO ERNESTO

is he dead?????

oooooooooh team drama 👀

lmaooooo parents (Nate/Sophie) using jury duty as a lesson

“Yeah, I know jury duty, this seems legit” <- has only gone once

OooooOOOoooooOoOooh defendant is wearing colored shades, he must be an asshole 😂

WAIT WHAT

WHO IS FILMING THE CASE???? IS THAT LEGAL????

babe, please step the fuck away from the jury panel. i would not be in favor of you anyways with you standing so close wtf

oop! she knows!!! fuck they’re gonna strike her out 

ok but seriously who are those camera people???? are they even a real legal team???? the ick is strong, I hope they burn this other team to the ground

YES PARKER

CONVINCE THEM

SHUT NATE YOU WERE A SLIMY INSURANCE MAN BEFORE YOU DONT GET TO TALK

everybody giving Nate the stink eye, yesssssssssss 

(You would think, with how much I yell at this man, I hate him, but tis the opposite! Love him. He’s just an asshole, and I would never like him in person, great character <3)

OMFG ALEC BACKSTORY??????

YES PLEASE

NANA YOU BADASS

ELIOT AND PARKER DUOOOOOO

FUCK YES

Lmao he took the beer

literally before clicking play I was like “you know, I don’t think Parker and Eliot have been a duo yet” AND HERE WE GO

ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

nO glasses guy 🫢 was a faker?! <- is not shocked

jfc Alec is good 😍

ok what you doing Parker? oh wait nvm 

Chess???? lmao you nerd

“Hmmmm how do we show an evil character is smart…..I KNOW! Chess!”

ohhhhhh big pharma ok (can’t believe it took me this long)

WAIT WE DOING POISONED APPLE

ugh no we’re not

oh shit bribery????

ELIOT PLAYS CHESS???? you fucking nerd 💕

lmao Parker gets a lesson in social interaction (I’m so sorry, girlie, I’d hate it too, but tbh I also befriended an older lady while at jury duty so same????)

it’s ok Parker you tried your best 🫂

“I have a peanut allergy” <- love you Alec 

Nate, I sure hope you don’t regret that honeypot plan

OHHHHHHHHH oh dear ok now the brownface comments make sense

Ok show’s age has been shown

jfc Sophie wtf please tell me this is the only episode where this happened 

“I’m very spiritual” <- 🤢 god how many times have I heard this

Jesus H Christ I can’t even look at her T^T

awwwww Sophie is helping Parker

ELIOT YOU ARE SO CUTE

HES TRYING

PARKER YOU CUTIE 🥰 

i want Parker and the grandma to be friends. Like best friends

lmaooooooo she’s foreman now (I don’t think I spelled that right)

girlie, you sound like you’re giving the old man a job interview 😂

SHE GONNA BUY OUT THE LAWYER???? 

He won’t

Nate noooooooooo

ALEC

YES

MY BOY

HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN A SUIT

but also shit they are treading the legality there (<- she says even tho they do this every episode)

“Do you trust your government, Ms. Vargas?” ALEC 😂😂😂😂 bringing back the old teachings of being a Jehova Witness i see

WE ARE BARELY HALFWAY?????? (Sorry just looked at the time stamp  what do you mean it’s only been 20 minutes????)

“is that a high school yearbook?” oh my god

Alec, babe, love you, but what

ALEC I LOVE YOU

girlie you could say cauliflower steak

Awwwwwwwwwwww Parker has a friend 🤧🤧🤧🤧

Alec’s headshot is beautiful 

“It all checks out unless [says an example of exactly what Alec did]”

Ooooooh outsource mention 👀 

Nate there are cameras!!!!

“You know why they say, ‘Justice has a blindfold’? Because Justice is asleep” FUCKING DEAD

ok bro this isn’t jury duty anymore this is a trial???? did I miss the part where they finished jury selection 

OH SO HE’S AN ACTOR???

lmaooooo he was Scottish 

Awwwwwwwww Parker 🥺 “she likes rainy days” im fucking sobbing

Ok now that’s why we were only halfway 

“We win the trial” LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOO

Hehe Alec has to actually win the trial

“You think lawyers aren’t just pretending and trying to fill in daddy’s shoes” ok, uh, wow 💔 

SHE GOT A BAG LUNCH 🥺🤧

Eliot on another parents trip!!!

wait who is he fighting???? Oh ok

Nate, you look so fucking dumb 😂

*gasp* THAT MEDICAL MAN IS LYING FIGHT HIM ALEC

oh ho ho! bringing up his qualifications I see 👀 why he now only doing cases in Cali 👀

OH HO 👀

HE BROUGHT UP BIN LADEN 👀

GET HIS ASS ALEC! FUCK HIM UP!!! FUCK! HIM! UP!

Alex’s closing statement 👀 omg 🥺 yes babe 🤧 beautiful 💐 take my flowers 💐💐💐💐💐

jfc I’m nervous!!!! I know this will end happy but still!!!! So nervous 🫠

nooooo, she must not figure out 🫠

Oh dear, 

OH YES THEY TURNED OFF THE TV WONDERFUL

lol yesssss girlie, burn that fucking bridge!!!! BURN THE BRIDGE!!!! DIG THAT HOLE!!!!

unrelated but her jacket is super pretty

ok ok here we go. fuck I’m nervous 

YESSSSS LETS GO BITCH

FUCK YEAH MESS WITH THEIR CAMERA

why are you revealing yourself to her????? bro she could find people to get you!!!!

OMG SHE MADE A FRIEND! GET THAT COFFEE

Final Thoughts:

this episode was so much fun!!!! we may not have gotten much of the Parker/Eliot duo but I’m still happy that they got to tag-team! Parker learning how to socialize, be a team player, and lead was just 👌👌👌👌👌👌 wonderful so proud of her T^T Alec was amazing (obviously) and fucking killed both for stalling the case and winning it <3

not as much Nate/Sophie moments besides them acting like parents to their teammates and being a well-oiled machine 😎 so I’m still satisfied! a little disappointed that there wasn’t any hint for the finale but that might just be because of the messed up order again 😔 

overall: wonderful episode, this might be my favorite of the season (tho Miracle Job still has my heart)

#fluffy watches #fluffy reacts #idk which tag I originally chose for this live-blog series #leverage

[angelasscribbles]

Bad Parenting Chapter 1: Welcome to Cordonia

Series: Bad Parenting

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairings for series: (Riley x Liam x Max) + Riley x Drake

Featuring: Leo, Oliva, M!OC Hudson Rys and F!OC Lilith Nevrakis

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: Language

Word Count: 1,996

A/N: Finally, it's here! Thanks to @harleybeaumont and @dcbbw for listening to be rant about my ideas for this series.

My other stuff: Master List.

Character Collages can be found here.

Original series this spun off from: Bad Romance. More specifically Bad Romance Disney Adventure.

“Wow!” Hudson breathed out as they entered the cabin of the royal jet. It was the backup jet, the smaller one, but it had all the splendor and opulence of the main jet.

“Impressive, right?” Leo asked.

The impressed look disappeared from Hudson’s face, and he shrugged nonchalantly, “It’s alright.”

Leo sighed inwardly. He was really trying, but Hudson wasn’t making it easy.

At very nearly thirteen, the boy was tall, lanky, his hair was blonde with side swept bangs. He had Leo’s ocean blue eyes, the same shade of dusky blond hair and by all indicators, his eventual height. He already had a couple of inches on most of his peers and he was athletic. He had just finished seventh grade with mostly good grades. He was on the swim team, he played a variety of instruments, he liked American football, surfing, girls, cars and horses. He hated cauliflower, suits, sitting still and his father. After all, Leo had been around exactly never until six months ago. Suddenly he wanted to play dad for some reason and Hudson wasn’t having it.

He missed his bedroom back in LA. He missed his friends, his BMX bike, his play station and his drum set. He didn’t miss his mother or her flaky fiancée. At least that’s what he told himself as he slid sulkily into his seat and turned his face to stare out the window.

Not that his mom had ever been the greatest mother, but at least she’d been present. Until she decided to ship him off to boarding school. After a year in Maine…fucking Maine….with its bitterly cold winters and sixty degree temperatures that pass as summer, he’d been looking forward to summer in LA with his friends and surfboard, until he’d found out his mother was pushing him off on his previously absentee father. The man whose DNA he shared, but whom he knew very little about.

Leo tried to make small talk and Hudson tried to ignore him.

“Your mom tells me you like to surf.”

“Uh huh.” Hudson’s eyes stayed locked on the window, watching the clouds pass below.

“There’s some good surfing in Cordonia, I’ll take you if you want.”

“Maybe.”

“So…school…how’s that?”

“Ok.”

“How long have you been at the one in Maine?”

“A year.”

“Do you like it?”

“It’s ok.”

“Do you have a lot of friends there?”

“A few.”

“Do you like your teachers?”

“I guess.”

“Have you ever studied anything about Cordonia?”

“No.”

“Nothing?”

“Nope.”

“European history?”

“A little.”

“What do they teach you in American schools?”

“Stuff.”

Leo sighed, “Well, when we get to the palace we can-“

“Palace?” Hudson pulled his eyes away from the window for the first time, “We’re going to a palace?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Why?”

“It’s where we live. Well, where I used to live, but it’s where my brother lives and we’ll be staying with him.”

“Your brother lives in a palace?” Hudson asked skeptically.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Leo stared at him, mouth agape, “I told you this! He’s the king!”

“You were serious about that?”

“You thought I was lying?”

“Well…yeah…”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“I don’t know, to impress me or something? Or to continue the lie you told my mom to get in her pants?”

“Oh, I…no….that’s….I didn’t…I mean, I did….I mean-“

“You’re really related to the king?”

“Yes, he’s my brother. Like I told you.”

“Wow, so you grew up in a palace?”

“I did.” Leo confirmed, “It has a hedge maze and everything!”

“Dungeons?”

“Sort of…”

“A moat?”

“No, that would be a castle, that’s different.”

“How?”

“Well, for starters-“

“So, your parents were the king and queen?”

“Yes.”

“If your older brother is a king, why are you such a deadbeat?”

“Ok, first of all, he’s my younger brother, second of all, I am not-“

“That can’t be right.” Hudson interrupted him.

“What can’t?” Leo blinked.

“How can your younger brother be king?” Hudson demanded, “The crown passes to the oldest child, or the oldest male child depending on laws of succession of the particular country, but definitely not to the younger brother. I remember that much from history class.”

“Oh, yeah, about that….” Leo rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “I abdicated.”

“You what?”

“Abdicated. It means I turned down the crown.”

“I know what it means. I can’t believe this! You’re telling me that you were in line for the throne, and you turned it down? You could have been king? I could have been king? I’m your oldest child, I’m a real life prince? I should have been heir to the throne! I could have grown up in a fucking palace instead of a crappy middle class suburb with a mom who can barely stand me? Wow, thanks dad!” He applied ample amounts of sarcasm to the last word.

“Ok, but, if I had stayed in Cordonia, you wouldn’t have even been conceived, you get that, right?” Leo felt like he should admonish the boy for dropping an F bomb, but he didn’t feel dad like enough to attempt it.

“Oh, so you’re saying my mom isn’t good enough to be queen of your shitty country that no one’s ever heard of?”

Leo pinched the bridge of his nose. It was going to be a long flight.

Liam, Riley, Max and Drake were at the private airstrip to greet them when they arrived.

Leo hugged Liam first, “Hudson, this is my little brother, your uncle Liam!”

“Nice to meet you sir…uh…your highness?” Hudson offered his hand.

Liam grinned as he grabbed the boy’s hand and pulled him into a hug, “I get called Your Majesty a lot but that’s for strangers and politicians! I’m your uncle Liam, we’re family!”

Hudson accepted the hug then turned back to the rest of the group for introductions.

Leo was hugging the one woman in the group tightly as he whispered something in her ear. She giggled and shook her head.

“Ok, bro, you’ve hugged my wife longer than is socially acceptable.” Liam said.

“Sorry, not sorry, Li!” Leo said, but he pulled away, “Hudson, this is your aunt Riley, she’s a kick ass warrior queen who I’m certain my brother trapped into marriage by sorcery or bribery or selling his soul to the devil because she’s way too good for him!”

Hudson’s eyes flew over to Liam’s but the king of Cordonia just smiled serenely. He winked at Hudson, “I did none of those things. I’m just better than my brother in every conceivable way.”

Riley drew him into a hug, “We’re very glad you’re here. The kids can’t wait to meet you!”

Hudson hugged her back, she smelled good.

The moment Riley released him, Hudson was accosted by an overly friendly man who drew him into yet another hug. “I’m Max! I’m sort of your uncle, but I don’t know how much your dad has told you about that. Dad. Wow, that’s such a weird thing to think about. Leo, a dad.”

“This is why I didn’t tell him about you, Max. Shut up!” Leo said.

Hudson looked over at the only member of the party he hadn’t been introduced to yet. The slightly grumpy looking man with the broad shoulders and aviator sunglasses. He did not look like someone to cross. “Who’s that guy?”

“Oh, that’s Drake.” Leo said, as if that told him anything.

“Are you my uncle too?” Hudson asked.

The grin that broke out across the man’s face made him far less intimidating. “Sort of. But you don’t have to call me uncle if you don’t want to. Drake will work just fine.”

Hudson appreciated not being accosted for another hug. He decided he liked the grumpy guy and the woman. He’d withhold judgement on the other two for now.

Their luggage was loaded into the trunk of a limo. Liam and Max disappeared inside the car first. Drake held the door for Riley. She brushed a quick kiss across his lips before also disappearing into the limo.

“If she’s married to your brother, why did she just kiss that guy?”

“Ah…that’s…so I’ll explain that when we get to the palace, ok?”

Hudson shrugged, “Okay.” He didn’t care who the lady kissed, and he’d already decided he liked the grumpy guy.

“Come on, kid.” Drake called to him, “Hop in!”

Hudson tried to tamp down his excitement at riding in a limo and going to stay at a real live palace. It was pretty cool, but he didn’t want Leo to know he thought that. He wasn’t done blaming him for missing the first twelve years of his life.

Drake climbed into the limo and took a seat. Hudson moved to sit next to him, “What do you do? Why do you have a gun?”

Drake’s hand moved with lightening quickness to catch Hudson by the wrist as his hand darted toward the holster. Drake yanked the boy’s arm up while simultaneously jerking his sunglasses off to give him the full weight of his steely gaze, “Do not ever reach for another man’s gun. That could easily get you killed!”

“I…”

“Geez, Drake, take it easy on the kid, he didn’t know.” Leo said as he slid into his seat.

Drake’s eyes never left Hudson’s, “I will not take it easy on him. Eleanor, Xander and Jax are all younger than he is, and they know better.”

“Because they’ve always lived with you.” Leo protested.

Drake finally looked at Leo, “Hudson may not be in the line of succession, but he’s still technically a prince and as such he will be assigned a personal guard detail. He’s a member of the royal family. Living in Cordonia with you for the summer is going to highlight that and bring attention to him. He will no longer fly under the radar. We cannot risk having him accidently shoot himself or someone else, nor can he distract the guards assigned to protect him. He’s not going to be able to disarm any of Bastien’s men, but in the seconds it takes them to deal with him, he could be abducted or assassinated.” 

Leo wanted to roll his eyes and call him dramatic, but Drake did have a point.

Turning back to Hudson, Drake continued, “Have you ever been to gun range? Have you taken a firearm safety course?”

“N…no sir.” Hudson squeaked.

“We can remedy that this summer if you want.”

Hudson’s eyes widened, “Yes!”

“Assuming your father gives permission, I’ll teach you how to properly handle and fire a gun under one condition. You do not touch one, you do not so much as look at one, without my direct supervision. Guns are weapons, not toys and they must be treated with respect to avoid unnecessary tragedy. Do we understand each other?”

Hudson nodded; his eyes still wide.

Drake released his arm, with a curt nod, “Good.”

“Can’t you do something about him?” Leo asked his brother.

Liam raised his hands in the air, “No, I cannot. I have no authority over him.” Also, he was right.

“What do you mean, you have no authority over him? You’re the fucking king!”

“And he’s head of the queen’s guard! You’ll have to take any grievances up with Riley. I have no say in who she hires or how she manages the people who work for her.”

“How is that possible?”

Riley leaned across Liam to smirk at Leo, “Because I put it in the marriage contract!”

“I knew you were a smart cookie, but that’s fucking genius!” Leo grinned at her.

“I know.” She replied smugly.

Leo looked over at his son, to see how he was handling the dressing down Drake had just given him. But Hudson was doing just fine. He kept sneaking sidelong glances at Drake, the expression on his face looking a lot like hero worship. Well, that’s just fucking great! Leo slumped in his seat.

It was going to be a long summer.

#bad parenting #angelasscribbles #trr #the royal romance #choices fic writers creations #cfwc fics of the week #choices stories you play #drake walker #liam rys #maxwell beaumont #leo rys #riley brooks #queen riley rys #the royal romance fanfic #trr poly #why choose #polycule #choices

[somer-writes]

SILLY ASK

what is each of the boy's least favorite food? As in, throw hands with Hylia rather than eat it?

OK i had to put thought into this for sure!

time - kid at heart right??? in my experience the two foods kids hate are mushrooms and tomatoes. i think time *hates* tomatoes but hes the grown up so he eats around them or pushes them into twilights food. wars and four pretend they dont notice.

wars - seems like he would detest spray cheese. like hes a rich boy used to the finest of condiments. man will go to war for a shitty fast food burger though. also seems like hed hate meatloaf and mint. i think he and wind are the pickiest eaters

twilight - i think hes used to eating sweet vegetables so i think he doesnt like greens very much. spinach, chard, kale. i also see him hating broccoli but he likes cauliflower. like when wild serves broccoli twi is worried hes done something wrong

sky - fish, esp whitefish. its too bitter and he didnt grow up with it. he *hates* cod with a passion. like if you want to piss of sky you give him cod

wild - most adventurous eater so he hates anything under seasoned. im talking mashes--mashed potatoes, mashed peas, mashed cauliflower. he doesnt like the texture or the taste. he does like applesauce

legend - pretends not to be a picky eater but he is. shrimp. its a texture thing for him more than a taste thing. too firm and he hates the ocean

hyrule - least picky eater to an alarming degree. he loves really sweet and really spicy things. i see beef being too savory for him but if you want to make him upset give him a lemon or grapefruit. theyre way too bitter. he does like oranges.

four - the colors have preferences i think but as a whole, they collectively hate rhubarb. its too tart and bitter. they dont even like it when its sweetened.

wind - picky eater bc child. i think he loves taro but hate hate hates turnips and radishes. he prefers foods that are sweet and spicy at the same time.

#somer answers #imagine wars just finding spray cheese in wilds slate #he would riot #wild keeps a spray whipped cream for wind and hyrule #hyrule probably loves fruit cake #i think wars probably also doesnt like pie very much regardless of sweet or savory