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nicksbestie · 1 day

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hi hi i hope you’re having a great day/night i was wondering if you could do a comfort nick x masc autistic reader where the reader is super interested in sea creatures and they go to the aquarium and the reader gets overwhelmed please

also love your work even though i just found it

Jellyfish - N. Sturniolo

Summary : A special date out with your boyfriend <3

Warnings : mentions of overwhelm but not negatively!

Word Count : 1215

Pairing : Nick Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : This is written with a male and neurodivergent reader!

You absolutely adored the ocean.

It was your biggest passion, and everything that it contained were things you loved. Being autistic, your special interests could sometimes get overwhelming, but most of the time, you really enjoyed all the things you read about. You had always dreamed of cute little aquarium dates with a partner, shared sea creature stuffed animals, decorating things ocean themed. Your childhood bedroom wallpaper was covered in jellyfish, as that had always been your favorite of the animals that lived under the water. You had moved in with Nick recently, and you had your own room, due to the fact that sometimes you both just needed personal space, but Nick had helped you decorate it.

It had taken days, but Nick had never complained, and had patiently listened to all of your infodumping with a smile on his face, enjoying how happy you looked. He helped you paint, put up wallpaper, hang things from the ceiling, and hang up blue fairy lights around your window. When you were both done, your room truly looked like something out of a Pinterest board, and you were both absolutely obsessed with it. Nick spent a lot more time in your room than his, and you would eventually help him redecorate his own when he decided he needed a change of pace. What you didn’t know was that Nick had a surprise planned for your anniversary date in just a couple of hours, and he was so excited to see your reaction.

He had bought tickets to the aquarium just a town over, and had made sure to pay for the dolphin encounter as well. They weren’t your favorite, of course, but he knew that you would still be so excited about it. There was a jellyfish portion as well, and he had pored over every brochure to make sure that it was absolutely perfect. So, as you were getting ready to change into clothes to go out that night, he told you to dress comfortably over dressing fancy, because he knew you weren’t going out to dinner at some high end place. You seemed confused but trusted him, being happy you didn’t have to get too dressed up.

You had been on aquarium dates before, but this one was arguably the biggest one in the state, and you hadn’t been there yet. It had been too much of a drive, or you didn’t have the time to experience all of it, and you didn’t want to go and only be able to see half, or even less than that, so you had always put it off. Nick knew this, so he thought that it would be a perfect fit for your first anniversary, and he could argue that he was almost as excited as you were. A giant smile stayed on his face the whole time, and he held your hand the entire way there, thumb caressing the back of your hand, smiling at the light blue polish on your fingernails, a compliment to his own white ones.

He avoided telling you where you were going, telling you that it was a surprise that you would love. You really weren’t big on surprises, but you trusted him, and you knew that if he wasn’t telling you, it was something really good. He had put in the address on his phone, but split screened it over to his music application so that you couldn’t see the final address. The look on your face when he pulled into the parking lot and you registered what the large building in front of you was, was completely worth the struggle of keeping himself from telling you during the long drive. The smile that spread from ear to ear and the genuine happiness in your eyes made him smile just as wide, putting the car in park and unbuckling his seatbelt in favor of leaning over the center console to gently kiss you.

“So, are you gonna sit here in shock, or are we going in?”

You felt like you couldn’t even speak, returning the kiss before immediately getting out of the car, grabbing Nick’s hand as he made it around to walk next to you.

“I love you.”

He smiled, the joy on your face spreading into his own, squeezing your hand.

“I love you too.”

As he scanned the tickets on his phone to go in, you both grabbed a map. You didn’t think that you would wander off from each other at all, but just in case one of you lost one, you had two. You pored over it for a bit before Nick started to speak.

“Just so you know, I have something booked here in about an hour and a half, and we can’t be late to it, but if we’re looking at something when we have to go over there, we can absolutely come back. And no, I’m not telling you what it is.”

You closed your mouth, having been about to ask what he had planned. Smiling but shaking your head, you pointed to a spot on the map, locating the jellyfish.

“Can we go there first?”

Nick grabbed your hand again, putting his map back in his pocket.

“Of course we can.”

About an hour and fifteen minutes later, you had wandered around half of the aquarium, and you had been non-stop talking about your favorite animals. Nick had listened to all of it, asking questions so you knew that he was listening, and had even comforted you when the overwhelm of seeing all of your favorite things had gotten to be a bit too much and you had cried a little. He had offered for you to go home, but you had of course adamantly refused, and you both had continued through the aquarium. You had gotten to pet a stingray, which Nick was a little worried about doing himself, but he did it with you anyways, and the smile on your face was worth the fear.

When you got to the dolphin section of the aquarium, you lit up, them being your second favorite sea creature. Third place went to the octopus, and you had already gotten to see those, as they were near the stingrays. At this point, you had seen almost everything that you wanted to see, and were now really enjoying your time with Nick, feeling so grateful for everything he had done for you tonight. As you entered the area of the dolphin encounter, you stared at Nick with shock in your eyes, as he just kept pulling things out of his pockets, surprising you in the best ways.

“You’re kidding. I get to pet a dolphin?!”

Nick laughed, kissing the top of your head.

“You’re adorable. Yes, you do. Come on, our group starts in about ten minutes.”

The rest of the date went so perfectly, and you were so in love with your partner. You had no idea how you were going to repay this to him, and it seemed like he could read your mind, as he looked right at you on the drive home, a soft smile on his face.

“Your happiness tonight was worth every single penny spent. I hope you had fun.”

“I had the best night of my life.”

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lunar-years · 23 hours

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okay. at risk of being too harsh on Ted...

I genuinely do not think he's a very good coach. And I do not mean that just in the obvious "well he doesn't even know anything about the sport he's head coach for" way, even though like, yeah, duh that really is a crucial point. I mean it in like, he's genuinely not as good at managing and delegating and working alongside his fellow coaches! The way he acts and the ways he manages the team so rarely feels...collaborative? I've been thinking about it a lot after reading posts from other blogs about how he constantly brushes off/ignores Beard's advice and also sends Jamie mixed messages and stuff and it's like. YEAH. It's all very "Ted makes the final decision" about everything and that's deeply goofy because Ted literally knows the least about the game out of all of them!!

We see him ignoring Beard's advice to bench Roy, and ignoring that Beard is actually trying to help the team win, as it is their job to do, until Beard finally snaps at him in s1. When he decides to reject Jamie he doesn't pause to consider it or discuss it with anyone, and even afterwards when he does have the coaches "take a vote" it feels...very performative? Like no matter what they said, it was always going to be Ted's decision in the end, and if they disagreed with what he'd already decided he wanted to do, he was just going to do it anyway.

Then he gets in Jamie's head about being a team player and passing the ball a to the point where it's actually hindering Jamie's role on the team and the strength of his performance. And even though Roy recognizes that, rather than going to Ted about it and making different suggestions, he comes up with the whole signal thing which in hindsight sort of feels...very much like Roy trying to package his complaint in a way that will be digestible to Ted's approval? Like, "oh we'll give him the signal so he doesn't feel bad about playing the way we need him to play. but ONLY when we give him the sign don't worry we'll still control it!" Instead of just being like Ted, look, I don't think your strategy for Jamie works at all and here's what we need to do instead.

It almost feels like none of the assistant coaches really feel comfortable questioning Ted's judgement...because he doesn't foster a space for them that welcomes that kind of feedback from them. Even with the Zava thing, he doesn't listen to Jamie, and Roy and Beard don't question it, BUT Roy offers to individually coach Jamie. Because Roy knows what's happening with Zava is bullshit, and he'd rather pull Jamie aside and deal with the problem himself in the way that he can, rather than talk to the head coach about how it's bullshit. And the ONE time Beard and Roy go off and try something against Ted's wishes (showing the Nate video), it massively backfires and they scramble over themselves to apologize while Ted feels even more vindicated in never valuing their input. It's like a never ending cycle of bad management. and the WORST part is that Ted will TELL them he wants to know their thoughts and hear their strategies, but then he doesn't follow it or he just goes off and does his own thing, so it results in like...a level of unintentional condescension, I think.

At the end of the day, I do not think Ted has bad intentions or is going into this stuff intending to walk over the other coaches, but it happens because his purpose and goal for the team is fundamentally misaligned with what the other coaches value. Ted wants to make the team better by changing the culture at Richmond (at least until he checks out and loses interest in even that) and Beard & Roy (& Nate) want to focus on helping them win matches. I also DO think there's something in all of this that could have been a very compelling major factor in Nate's downward s2 spiral. I've always said that to me the most lackluster part of Nate's arc was not his redemption but his downfall--which had a basis that was severely under-explored onscreen. When he leaked Ted's panic attacks, it felt so severe and sudden a leap because there wasn't enough to back up Nate's headspace throughout the season, even thought the basis is THERE. The foundation for Nate feeling ignored as a coach and having his input constantly undervalued is THERE. They just don't ever let the characters properly explore it, or god forbid allow Ted to reckon with how he's ostracized all of his coaches to some extent.

#ted lasso #roy kent #ch: ted lasso #coach beard #nate shelley #ted lasso critical #i do not consider this a hate post but i'm gonna add the anti tag to be safe #anti ted lasso #basically I don’t want to take up a character tag with criticism

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kaylinalexanderbooks · 2 days

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Character voice

Thanks @elsie-writes here, @willtheweaver here, @mk-writes-stuff here and here, and @illarian-rambling here!

Rules: rewrite the given line in your characters' voices

Got long, under the cut

“Are you okay?”

Lexi: "Omigosh are you okay? What happened???" [Probably panicking herself]

Maddie: *squints, tilts head* "What's wrong with you?" (Genuine worry)

Ash: *tries to read them telepathically* "You're upset. Why?"

Gwen: "Hey, are you feeling alright?"

Robbie: *clears throat* "You good dude? Been worried about you."

Akash: "Are you okay? Been worried, man."

Jedi: "Are you feeling alright?"

Carmen: *pretends she doesn't care, even when she does* "What happened?!"

“I overslept!”

Lexi: "WHAT?! What time is it?? Oh no oh no oh no I overslept my alarm! How is that possible?! Now I'm gonna be late oh no --"

Maddie: "Hm? It's [time]? Hm. Overslept I guess."

Ash: "Wow. I was more tired than I thought."

Gwen: "Oh, no, I overslept!! Guess I have to go to bed earlier or set more alarms next time."

Robbie: "What time is it?! Huh. Guess I needed the rest."

Akash: "There's no way I overslept--guess I didn't set my alarm. *Checks* I did?! Oh no, what are they going to think?!"

Jedi: "I overslept? Oh, dear, this never happens... I rarely sleep as is."

Carmen: "Did someone turn off my alarm? Change it?? There's no way I forgot to set it or slept through it. I don't do that. I don't need the sleep. I made sure I got my schedule working to get the maximum amount of work done. And now, I won't be able to do everything today." (This may continue)

“No, I don't want to eat that [insert food]!”

Lexi: "No, thank you. I'd rather not eat that. I ate too much already, and am full. Also not the hugest fan of it--it isn't your cooking."

Maddie: "I don't like that food. The texture is all wrong."

Ash: "I don't want to eat this--I don't care for it."

Gwen: "Sorry, not that hungry for it. Thank you for offering, though."

Robbie: "Nah. Not in the mood. Thanks, though."

Akash: "I, uh, hate to disappoint you, but I don't like this food. Nothing to do with you or your cooking abilities, it's all me."

Jedi: "Thank you for considering me when offering this, but I am afraid I am not fond of this particular dish."

Carmen: "Ugh, it's disgusting, I'm not eating it."

"That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen someone wear."

Lexi: "Oh... Um, here's the thing: I think we can do better. With the outfit. It's, like, cute and all in a... Unique way. Grotesque maybe. It's the color, I think. We can fix it though! I'll help."

Maddie: "What are you wearing? Are you going to the town in that old Dr. Seuss movie? Or like a Star Trek vacation spot?" *Grins at joke*

Ash: "Why would you wear that? It doesn't really look good."

Gwen: "Oh wow. Um. Sorry, I--your outfit. It's... Interesting. Haven't really seen anything like it."

Robbie: "Oh my GOD! Sorry. Your outfit just took me by surprise. It's...dude, I can't -- it's awful. For your sake, please go change?"

Akash: "Um..." *runs hand through hair* "Look, buddy, I love you, but *grimaces* I think you can do better. Frankly, it's not good. It's...bad? For you. How about I help you pick out something that's more...you?"

Jedi: (silent for several moments) "That is certainly a very interesting choice of fashion. I have certainly not seen anything quite like it, that's for certain."

Carmen: "What in the world made you get into that - it's hideous. Never seen anything worse in fact."

Bonus for this one, because I have a couple specific fashion oriented characters I wanted to react to this--

Rose: *several seconds of panicked crisis* "Okay, we can make this work. Let's spruce up this outfit."

Alex: "Oh honey...darling. Babe. Sweetie. Treasure. Sweetheart. Sunshine. Baby. I'm running out of synonyms. We need to help your look. It's not that good."

Sam: "...this is weird for me, I usually have something to say here. Well, uh, that outfit isn't working for you. Sorry. Don't want to hurt your feelings. But I think your feelings might be more hurt by others. You're glad you're with me. I'll help you."

Niri: *several seconds of contemplating what to say, if anything, he can't talk, he has an excuse, but oh no they're expecting a response, any longer and he will be rude!!!* (hesitant signing): "I don't want to be rude, but I...don't like it. Sorry. Do you want me to help you? I'm good with fashion."

"I hope you stub your toe."

Lexi: "Y'know what? I wouldn't care if you stubbed your toe." (She thinks this is an insult)

Maddie: "I really hope you stub your toe. Cause that hurts. A lot. You've done it before, right? It's bad."

Ash: "Leave me alone and go stub your toe."

Gwen: "You're such a rude person - I hope you run into something and stub your pinky toe. Maybe that will teach you." (Akash: Gwen, babe, how would that teach them? Gwen: I don't know, it sounded better in my head.)

Robbie: "You wanna know what I think about you, Jason? You're a pompous prick bus stop. And the next time you turn a corner, I hope you slam your tiny toe right out of the joint. God, that's painful. And maybe you can get the nail caught on something too. And I hope someone wearing shoes steps on your bare toes as well. And I also hope--" *Akash probably pulls him away*

Akash: *gets as close as possible* "Why don't you go stub your toe or something. I hear that it hurts."

Jedi: "If you were to stub your toe, I will not make a promise to not enjoy it."

Carmen: "I cannot describe how much I want you to STUB YOUR TOE RIGHT NOW!"

Woo, that was a lot!

Tagging @foyle-writes-things @drchenquill @monstrouswrites @mysticstarlightduck @talesofsorrowandofruin @sleepyowlwrites @sleepywriter00 @sarandipitywrites @theeccentricraven @leahnardo-da-veggie + anyone else!

Y'all's sentence is, "Is anyone going to drink this?"

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

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rxttenfish · 2 months

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you know, i think the thing about miranda that most make or breaks if any given writing for her is any good, is that you just can't tell if she's doing something on purpose or not.

she switches hard from cute, innocent, head full of fluff and so oblivious and kinda stupid that she matches scott, to having such expertise and cruelty in manipulation and being able to not only get her way but to get it with such violence that it takes everyone else aback — and there is NO way for any other character in the situation to tell if both really are true and equal aspects of her personality and who she is, or if she really is planning this all along and all the innocence was just a farce.

both are given equal weight by miranda, both seem equally likely, and both are roles that miranda inhabits so wholly that there's not really any flaws anyone can find in either one of them. you expect one, the other one catches you off guard. for someone who makes such a show of wearing her heart on her sleeve, it is incredibly hard to actually tell what's going through miranda's brain at any given moment.

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#monster prom #miranda vanderbilt #yes i still have thoughts about miranda as i always do #ofc my answer to this in my writing is ''its both at the same time''#''both manipulation and her being genuine''#because i really like that as who miranda is (and most of my writing deals with who IS miranda really)#but also. i think it really does need to be an open question in text #you need to be able to argue both at a single moment using everything that miranda has done up to that moment #and still feel like you arent getting it Right #which is also exactly the thing i love about writing miranda #open questions and ambiguity are FUN #(this is also where the miravi comes in because that too. is answering the question. of who really is miranda.)#(specifically focusing on who miranda is beneath the crown and the title)#(and who she actually wants to be)#(both with aaravi being able to be the hero and save miranda from her situation and even from herself)#(but also with them both thinking to the future and having no fucking idea what they want or what will happen)#(but deciding to tentatively trust each other to work towards a shared and better future)#(this is also why both miri having an eating disorder and aaravi directly trying to help that)#(and aaravi having an interest in food and cooking is so Important)#(you have to deal with the question and all the problems it raises if you want the solution to grow and become something beautiful)

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givemewallywestorgivemedeath · 1 year

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your tags on parenting make me super emotional <3 that's exactly the kind of parent I want to be one day

Thanks! I feel the same way honestly. I have a lot of opinions about parenting and I can't say that I will be the perfect parent because that doesn't exist. I can't even say that my hypothetical future kid/kids will be perfect because children don't grow in a vacuum. I can only control what I do and say and try to be the best version of myself and hope for the best.

#i often hear people say that involved parenting is too difficult to be realistic or that modeling behavior is too hard #and yeah. yeah it is. it is one of the most difficult things a person can do. but who the fuck has a kid thinking it'll be easy?#kids are hard work and commitment. they should never be something done on a whim. you should never half ass raising a kid #and not to say that people should be perfect all the time or that people shouldn't have 'me' time #its just that i genuinely don't understand people who shove their kid into as many activities as possible to get away from them #or put all their hopes and dreams and expectations on them. if it's so easy and attainable to live up to your expectations as a parent #then do it first. you want your kid to have straight A's? great. show me your report card at that age #im just... kids are just people. and they just want to hang out with their parents and receive love and attention #and anyway ive lost my point im just very passionate about this topic #very passionate #when im older and financially stable I want to foster teenagers i think. i want to be there for them and model healthy adult behavior #and help them make that transition. i want to be that person for them. because everyone needs help and love and family #and honestly? my parents fostered kids my entire life. THEY MODELED THAT BEHAVIOR #i understand that family is not a given. i understand that family is above all else forged. and that applies to everyone #not just found family or fostering. if you don't know your bio child then can you really call yourself family?#family is *forged* regardless of the context. and if it isn't? if you skip that step with your bio kids? well thats a major fucking issue #anyway nothing but respect for my parents who bought groceries for my foster sister when she was out of care. FOR MONTHS #nothing but respect for my parents who took me with them to give my foster sister their old stroller when she needed it #nothing but respect for my parents who take in my old foster brother every weekend to 'babysit' because they know he isnt in a loving house #nothing but respect for my parents who adopted my siblings without a word when they asked #honestly they are why i am who i am today. i was a kid with adhd and learning disabilities who hated school #and now I'm an honors student and getting my doctorate. because they did the academia with me #and im not saying they did my schoolwork. im saying that they assigned books to read over the summer and we would read them as a family #and we would discuss the literary concepts and themes together as a family. i love dissecting media! and thats because of my parents!#it was a family activity! same goes for science and art and music #and coding and history ect ect #anyway im going off on a tangent but basically what im saying is that my parents didn't ship me off to camp every summer #we just did things as a family together. i remember the time and bonding with them. and i modeled that behavior #and not to brag but i think I turned out alright #anyway tangent over!

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torchickentacos · 7 months

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anyways. having fun with the album project thing I mentioned. Using the flat small brush from here for krita. One brush only, no undo button, all done on 1/54th of a 1.5k x 1k canvas. it's actually pretty therapeutic, I listen to the album I'm drawing while I draw it. This does mean that for AM I got to like. track 2 though and most of that was bc of formatting issues lol.

#vent in tags though bc i need. somewhere that isn't yet another 4:30 am vent google doc. too many of those and they're not helping #i don't want to talk but i don't want to be fully alone right now but i can't just spring this on someone in dms either so . tags it is #tw death. like really not a fun time over on torchickentacos dot tumblr dot com right now. genuine warning here #but i'm not doing well and i need this right now. anyways told my therapist i feel like i should be more okay right now than I am #and he was like. you. think you should be MORE okay after someone you knew died?#like. ah. hm. i see. now. how that might not be rational thinking.#i mean in my brain it was like. okay we're approaching day three and i haven't reached back out to my other irls #and i'm awake at 4 am #and i feel like need to pull it together because other people need me for stuff #and like. this happened before but harder. i should KNOW that there's no way to expedite this #because unfortunately I've been through this before!!! people make that choice to leave and it sucks and that's that!#like i KNOW how hard this is especially since it's a very personal topic.#but i'm still trying to rush myself here #it stresses me out to think that I'm not there enough for myself to be there for other people right now #sigh. i wonder how much of it's because i feel like i should have been there for those friends more even though it's irrational.#because that's genuinely not how it fucking works and I KNOW THAT PERSONALLY yet I still put that on myself.#people can have all the support they need and still choose to not take it. and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.#well. tomorrow i return to socializing and being a human person again #little bit at a time.

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be-gay-do-crime-ahaha · 1 month

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Holy fucking shit the dysphoria is dysphoria-ing right now. I feel physically nauseous oh my fucking god. I’m gonna fucking kill someone maybe myself rn I’m gonna lose my shit holy hell.

Doesn’t help that I’ve been incredibly overstimulated the past few days every sound is like a fucking cheese grater in my ears oh my god.

#dysphoria #gender dysphoria #sensory processing disorder #tw emetophobia #for the nausea mention #idk if that’s needed or not #but yeah I’m about to tear off my fucking skin and jump off a building I am losing my fucking mind #it’s so over #lmao my brain is fucked i genuinely wanna off myself over this shit #and my mother keeps refusing to even entertain the idea of getting my name changed on the school role #even though all my teachers and friends call me Alex and that’s what I’ve been going by for a few years now #and it would make things significantly easier for everyone because it would fix my email name as well #so that’s not helping #and she was talking about my period and being all “it’s okay all WOMEN get these ❤️ you’re just becoming a beautiful woman #and now she keep being rude to my sister because she uses men’s deodorant (because it works better) and doesn’t really wear dresses #(because she finds them annoying and inconvenient)#and is being all “hurr durr you’re copying your SISTER stop being so masculine”#like fucking hell #shit talking me and harassing my sister all at once #man I want to fucking kill myself im so done with this shit #and I’m so overdue on school work and I feel so overwhelmed and stressed this fucking sucks #and I know the school work and stuff is fully my fault for forgetting and slacking off but I can’t bring myself to do them because the #stress of fucking up and just how much of it I have to do is pushing me to my damn limit #I can’t even bring myself to start on my film and media assignment that’s a week overdue because I’m so fucking stressed just thinking about #it and I’m so overwhelmed I can’t fucking do this. I just can’t. and I know I’m at fault for procrastinating and being too lazy and stressed #to bring myself to start working on it #and things are just gonna get more and more difficult #so yeah. rant over I guess. sorry guys #did not mean to rant in the tags this much dysphoria is just killing me and so is general stress #tw suicidal thoughts

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andthebeanstalk · 1 year

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pssst.... there are a lot of queer christians! their experiences and faith are valid. it sucks you weren't able to jive with the church, but don't act like its impossible because of your sexuality when many other lgbt folx have managed just fine

My friend, you do you, but being a faggot dyke tranny helped keep me out of an abusive organization, and for me and all of my formerly religious friends, that is that.

#t slur #f slur #d slur #truly I am working through a rainbow alphabet of queer slurs at this time!#original #listen if you're able to believe that your God loves you then you should do that.#I tried to for many years myself. but it never came back no matter how much I wanted it #and I think the fact that queer people are generally safer in non-religious environments in America is extremely telling #alright i think I've officially hit my limit with this so I'm probably gonna stop responding to anons #I was such a good little Christian Child. but I was so so sad and so scared and so ashamed. and I didn't even know I was gay yet!#I get that there are queer christians but like. there are waaay more former Christian queers for a reason.#seems only a very small percentage of us born into the church grow up to be in the church #I like how Stephen Fry talks about it. a lot of atheist speakers are fucking assholes about it like Bill Maher but Stephen Fry really #approaches the issue from what appears to be a genuine love for other humans and a desire to see them treated well #maybe it's not impossible for YOUR sexuality but for me I'm too nose deep in pussy praise the Lord it's a medical condition XD #in my defense humor also helped me leave the church. things have less power when they can be funny. and i needed it to have less power.#because it was an abusive situation #gods I'm so proud of the phrase 'nose-deep in pussy'. can't believe I thought of that in a goddamn catechism post 😅#actually no wait I can totally believe that

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orcelito · 1 year

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and you know what, i can speak in the language of business people. i can cater to logistics for why we shouldnt fire someone just for pay cuts. im not going to let someone just get fired for such little reasons.

#speculation nation #like if someone is actively performing badly i cant help them #but our employees are all decent employees.#my biggest concern with it from a logistical standpoint would be the demoralizing factor #if we fire someone who for all intents and purposes has been doing their job well #then that's demoralizing to the others. they will lose their sense of job security. and it would make them consider leaving too.#because if one person is fired for little reason. who's to say any of Them are safe either?#boss was talking about how we want our workforce to be the best it can be. so we need to cut out any bad eggs #now that we are no longer so understaffed it's painful #but we just dont have any bad eggs.#some better than others sure. but they're all people. they all deserve a chance.#and the biggest problems are with tardiness and attendance. Not actual performance.#there isnt any one employee i dread being scheduled with bc i know they suck #that's happened in the past. but it's not how things are now.#and tardiness can be addressed. our biggest offenders are already working to be better about it.#and attendance is most commonly bc of things outside of their control.#genuinely very uncomfortable with the idea of firing someone just to 'cut out the bad eggs'#i may not have singular control over this situation but my word is still respected.#i'll do my best to stand up for the employees. bc i really dont want to fire any of them.

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arthur-r · 1 year

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going mildly insane while online thrifting somebody help me (/lh but /gen)

#i need: enough pairs of jeans for two living spaces. stuff to make the apartment feel like home. a record player for there (want not need #but i want it really bad. and also this way i could get one that i take with me for the rest of my life and my mom gets my black victrola #and there’s this combination radio-record player-cd player-cassette player and i kind of really want it for the future #cause like i just have a couple cds but i’m a record collector and radio enjoyer and very close friend cd collector #and anyway there’s the charity gala coming up (winter semi-formal at school) and then senior prom in a couple months #and last year i wore a donated beige suit like that i got for free because i couldn’t get one on my own #and now i have slightly more means but still not going to spend as much as a prom jacket costs and so #that’s how i ended up scrolling poshmark for upwards of an hour looking at everything in the world #there’s also some really cool neckties and t shirts that i really like. for me and presents #oh and there’s these incredible converse that i’m obsessed with like the opposite of my other converse #i have these really cool burnt orange and gold that i’m obsessed with that make me tall and have sparkly #and then there’s these really comfy looking brown and orange converse for not very much and they look so comfortable #but so the point is i genuinely need more items in my life if i’m going to live like this. but i’m also going overkill #and then i still don’t have like. a winter coat that keeps me warm i just don’t have one. and i could really use one but all of them make me #want to cry. because of my stupid color everything. and so it’s like. i’m willingly going cold in life because everything hurts too much #and it’s just kind of. i’m a little bit useless and ridiculous and i hate it. not having a good time of it #anyway i need a shower and then i’m doing a thing with my sister and then i’m on zoom about the script i didn’t sign up to write #and then maybe i’ll eventually have some clarity about what i actually need and what’s stupid #but yeah. idk. it’s just been some several hours of this while listening to dazey and the scouts radio. music to go insane to /gen #anyway i might need help choosing between suit jackets eventually. that’s something i really want to work out for me #and also maybe record player advice actually shdhdf. probably a lot of advice #but yeah i’m just a little bit been-in-my-bed-for-12-hours feeling. wish me luck #ask to tag. just shouting out into the world as my shopping problem (which does not extend to a buying problem) continues #does that make sense???? like i put hours of my life into online shopping. i don’t buy things and that’s not my problem. but i have this #obsessive way of being and i will just go through everything someone has ever sold and just repeat and repeat and it’s a problem. just not #the problem that people tend to have. when it comes to shopping. but it’s been true since i was like ten on wayfair it’s how i waste my life #and so here i am stuck inside that again. for good reason but still not doing it in a normal person way. again wish me luck #with being normal about it and also with finding the things i need. cause i physically don’t have enough clothes here to last me a week #me. my post. mine.#delete later

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yuribalisms · 2 years

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promise this is my last time bitching about all of this ignore it but

#really truly and genuinely just don't want to exist right now every time i think this situation cannot get worse it somehow manages to #i just cried at the dmv and the lady just glared at me like i was the scum of the earth like maam i don't even cry around people #i trust i don't *want* to be crying right now i'm *sorry* okay i just don't know what to do i got given the wrong forms and papers and i #tried explaining all of that and she just looked at me like i was an *idiot* and wouldn't help me with *anything* it was so humiliating #i can't drive the temporary car until it has plates because if i get pulled over for that it's a $500 fine and if i get hit with that on top #of everything else i literally don't know what i'll do i'll probably end up losing my license #but if i can't drive the car i can't go to work and i also can't afford to not go to work right now #i literally feel sick all the time i can't sleep the last few times i've tried to eat anything i feel like throwing it up #and i just feel... so hopeless right now everything i'm trying isn't working or i think i'm getting somewhere and i hit another wall #and one of the most upsetting parts is i feel like no one is helping me and no one cares how hard i'm struggling right now #i literally just want to be allowed to be upset over this but when i got visibly upset at home everyone accused me of taking my frustrations #out on them and being self pitying and 'it could always be worse'#like i don't even know at this point but if i hear the words 'could always be worse' one more time i'm going to maul the person who says the #no one wants me to be upset that's too much to deal with i am *never* allowed to be upset i just want to vent about how shitty this is and #scream and cry at the unfairness of it for a little bit but literally *no one* is letting me do that #'it could always be worse so stop complaining' or if i am visibly upset at all all that matters is it's inconveniencing or upsetting to the #other person.... not that i'm struggling or need help or anything like that #i just want it to be OVER i want it to end i'm so sick of this every time i feel like i'm scraping to somewhere managable in life #something like this happens and this is the scariest and most upsetting thing yet #and i'm not even allowed to be frustrated or upset or sad or angry because then someone else is upset and that matters more than me #so it all built up and a cried at the dmv and every one stared at me like i was annoying and stupid and i want to KILL MYSELF #i want to melt into the ground i want to stop existing i don't want a single person to talk to me because i hate everything right now #but i also desperately want to actually say all of this to a person and them not get mad at me for and tell me it IS unfair it DOES suck and #i didn't deserve this shitty thing that happened or all the other shitty things that happened beforehand #i would also appreciate just pretending it wasn't a thing for a few hours and doing something enjoyable to me with a friend or two...#but that also feels far fetched and then i would feel guilty for not trying to fix this 24/7 even though at this point there's literally #nothing else i could do #i'm just.... so tired and so SO upset and i feel like nobody cares that i'm upset and i'm so sick of EVERYTHING #i'm tired of living

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postalplants · 2 years

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Venting again lol

How can "I don't think I'm more disabled than you," "I can't handle supporting you when you express symptoms of your disabilities," and "I can't handle you getting a service dog when I'm so disabled that I can't get a job" all be true? Throw in the fact that I didn't think that I could handle a job but had to for the sake of finances.

So I work, despite being so fucking exhausted by it and getting so fucking triggered every single shift I work. But I can't fucking say that! Because that's upsetting and destabilizing! You want me to be honest, but if you react like this to my honesty, how am I supposed to be honest??

I mentioned needing a service dog because I'm thinking about the fact that I'm struggling with my mental health and functioning but can't tell you that and I know that there are guarding and grounding tasks that a service dog can do that will help me do my job. And you know what! I need to get a second job because I give you the majority of my income and you still need more! You haven't asked me to get a second job but jesus christ you've done everything but.

#vent #im sitting in the work bathroom having an anxiety attack because my least favorite coworker wont shut up about me needing to retrain her #on things that ive already retrained her on while im on my fucking lunch. and it smells like shit in here and i want to cry.#and my body hurts so bad because ive been spending my days off working like a dog on things that need to get done around the house.#but i got told last night that im a deeply selfish person and all of the helpful things i do are just ways that i try to distract myself #from how selfish i know that i actually am.#the joke is that im so selfish because i told them that i need a car because i feel like i need to feel in control of my own life.#and thats selfish because apparently i control their lives by them driving me places and waiting at the hospital for me when im sick.#well. if i had a car you wouldve only had to drive me to & from my colonoscopy. and im really fucking sorry that i make your life harder #because im sick and disabled. im actually genuinely sorry and ive felt guilty for it since it happened and i tried to thank you for it and #ive been trying to do my part around the house to make up for it. and im glad that you finally confirmed that im a burden so that it #wasnt only in my imagination. you really feel like that i guess #god i cant SAY any of this because they didnt explicitly say that im a burden #they said that i controlled where they had to be when i was in the hospital and emergency room and had appointments.#its not a stretch to say that that implies that im a burden right? right?? am i crazy?#god i feel crazy.#and believe it or not these tags have NOTHING to do with the post lol.#also :) my other roommate wont talk to me until im adequately medicated :)#because im too much of a POS when im unmedicated for him to talk to me apparently.#and im the only selfish one because they give their lives up for me apparently? i guess i need to complain more about #how much effort i put in to try to help them? (i wouldnt actually do that because i dont DO things like that. even when ppl do them to me)#FUCK

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fiddlepickdouglas · 2 years

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.

#warning this is just dark depressing shit i have on my mind and i need to just scream it somewhere #i genuinely need help. i need someone professional to help unravel the shit that's running through my brain right now #it is not good that i keep imagining harming myself just to get into a fucking hospital to get things addressed #it isn't serious yet but it's getting more frequent and im really scared of what i will pick when it gets worse #im barely functioning as a human and i don't currently have the resources to help me develop better habits #i don't have a support system irl. when you drop the religion your family raised you in-#-and your friends all live 1000s of miles away it's real fucking lonely #the list of things to address with a doctor is so fucking long and i cannot afford that visit #i only work one part time job and im too stressed to do more than that how the fuck will i ever afford anything #things are so fucked rn im constantly in pain and i keep not eating enough and then my food goes bad and it's such a waste #trying to plan anything scares the shit out of me. genuinely don't know why i make plans anymore #i can't even create or keep promises about the things i said i would create and it feels so purposeless #it's like the only kind of happiness i can get is all just diving into fandom and acting like im so funny #like yeah im hilarious huh for enjoying this shit and being so loud on the on site i ever use #and then i fucking hide from the real world because i can't take an ounce of negativity or i will have a nervous breakdown #i want to be known and loved but god at what cost i do not have the sanity to open up like that #i want to be held and have someone check on ME for once. have someone be kind to me for once.#instead of swallowing everything because im so afraid of being hated instead #i shouldn't even be afraid of being hated but damn if my trauma didn't rear its ugly head #and remind me that the people who should have cared the most didn't give enough of a shit to try #and make me wanna die about it #i need to get out of this fucking room but god it's so hard to make my body move #when it's so easy to just lie here watch reruns of whatever proves im not worth a damn #my room is a mess and i was gonna do laundry and i was going to run errands today #but no apparently any time i have off work is dedicated to either distracting myself with blorbos #or wallowing in my miserable shit #and you bet it feels fucking pathetic. like i should know better. i should be better. im not.#im no good honestly. i can't even let myself scream or cry loud enough so that the roommate i don't talk to will be concerned.#why bug him when we've established being chill and knowing nothing whatsoever about each other #i can't be someone else's burden again. being a burden is what fucking kills me.

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nothorses · 2 months

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I was talking with my dad recently & we got on the topic of People Thinking They Can't Do Things, and like, he is at his core a well-intentioned person who genuinely wants the best for others, but he has definitely internalized some harmful ideas a la "anyone can do anything, the only thing stopping them is their own attitude". so I was like. I see where you're coming from, but let me tell you a story.

last year, I worked with 10 year olds- many of whom had never really spent time outdoors- in an outdoor education program where they came to spend a whole week doing shit outside in nature. the top two scariest experiences for these kids were 1) very tall metal tower, and 2) walking outside at night in the dark with no flashlights.

I tried a lot of different things to persuade them all to join me for each experience: I presented it with enthusiasm and passion, I did physical demonstrations and scientific explanations to help them understands how safe it was, I voiced my absolute commitment to their safety, I invited them to brainstorm ways to help each other and themselves feel safe, etc.

generally I always had at least 2-3 kids out of about 10 who opted out, or if they did join me, would spend the entire experience crying and freaking out. when it was over, they would conclude that even though they did not die- or even get hurt- it was so scary that it wasn't worth it and they never wanted to do it again.

then I changed the question I asked. instead of asking them to tell me whether they could do it or couldn't do it, I asked them to raise their hand for one of three options:

You can definitely do this.

It will be hard or scary or uncomfortable, but you can try to do this.

It will definitely be too hard, scary, or uncomfortable, and you cannot or should not try to do this.

suddenly, almost nobody was opting out of these experiences.

they would try, even if they were scared, because they know that being scared didn't necessarily mean that they couldn't do it at all. and more importantly, they knew that if they needed to stop, that was an option; they weren't trapped in their decision to try.

and the real takeaway here, for me, is in the nuance: people need to be able to challenge themselves and to be uncomfortable in order to grow, and people need to be able to opt out in order for opting in to be a safe option.

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nexus-nebulae · 2 months

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im trying to learn how to better keep & reheat leftovers (bc if i dont know how to do a specific thing my brain won't let me try At All) and im getting better at eating bc im learning how to rely on food i know i like & lasts me at least a few days but is very easily heatable

#frozen meals are quick but i cannot rely on them #because they always either taste really off or i'm allergic to like 5 things in them (BROCCOLI WHY ARE YOU EVERYWHERE)#but if i know a recipe my mom can make at home #then we just make like 4 servings and i eat that for 4 days #and i genuinely do really like eating the same meal every day (it's The Tism™) so it really works #usually i really only know how to reheat things with rice & pasta #because. well. i eat a lot of rice and pasta #but other foods like. my brain goes BAD NO when i get it out of the fridge bc its Not How Im Used To #like i always have a strong reaction to refrigerated chicken bc it smells SO BAD as a leftover but its still fine #but my brain is like *NO!!!! ROTTEN!!!!! SPOILED!!!!!!* i have to like convince it it's fine with Facts and Logic #and so i'm learning how these foods react to being refrigerated so it doesnt freak me out (REFRIGERATED SOUP MY BEFUDDLING)#and learning how to make them last longer (i can save my sandwiches now without the bread getting rock hard!!)#and its kind of helping me eat more often #it doesnt help as much with the days where brain says No Food No Thanks Fuck You #but it DOES help with the days where i dont have the energy/time/physical ability to make something else #usually i don't eat a lot when my mom isn't home because i need her help with Basically Everything now #but if i have something i can quickly shove into the microwave its a lot easier for me to get food by myself #AND i have our crappy old microwave in my room (its 700w lmao) so if i REALLY cant do much #i can just snatch the food from the fridge and sit in bed while it heats up #i'm planning on getting a mini fridge for my room soon to stock emergency meals #the one im looking at is only 200$ plus it has a mini freezer too so i might actually be able to in a couple months #which makes me happy i love finally making progress on accessibility goals

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i-demand-a-good-username · 2 months

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Been playing a TON of palworld and I am so autistic over it 😭 it's literally just me and my little goober animal friends that go around and explore just a beautiful open world map and build and try to survive 🫶 what more could I really ask for

#hope i can just see little art of the goobers in the tags one day #and not a bunch of arguing #its so pretty too like im in love with the red area that looks like fall #and my giant chillet boss i caught 🫶#i honestly thought it was going to be exactly like pokemon but its genuinely a lot more like rust but with little guys 🫶#i would say its like minecraft but minecraft is too far off in its own wag #i only say rust because ive seen my brither play it and that looks about right #i saw people say that they make basically slave farms and like ??? HOW??#if they dont live in the most comfortable and happy environment they will NOT work 😭😭😭#i dodnt know that they liked higher quality meals so i was only feeding them berries and everyone was just angry sleeping or slacking 😭#i was so distraught too because i thought i did everything perfect 😭#THEY HAVE THREE HOT TUB/SPA THINGS!!#WHY ARE YOU MAD ABOUT THE WORK ENVIRONMENT 😭#anyway now they get great meals and i make sure to pet them whenever they help me with something 🫶#tried making a base for only farming materials and i literally spent more mats just making the bare minimum 😭#which still needs at least one hottub 😭😭😭#anyway ramble over #just having a lot of fun and im glad i gave it a shot #if youre on the fence- its a lot more than just pokemon and guns #if you just really like survival overworld games with cute creatures that are reminicent of pokemon #i think youll love it #oh yeah you can capture humans LMAO #useless tho 😒 id rather have a cute little sheep that has the same stats #palworld #ramble #autistic ramblings

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