#I really wish they gave us more of seb's story because I thought he was such a good addition to the show like when he came oh my goodness!!

[rubynationwins]

Sleeping With A Friend (18+)

Soft!Dark!Bucky x PlusSize!Reader

Summary: When Bucky sees what you’re wearing for pajamas–or lack thereof–he can’t help how his body reacts. You’re a heavy sleeper anyway.

Main Masterlist

Warnings: Soft!Dark!Bucky, smut, non-con via somnophilia, intercrural sex(thigh sex), oral/fingering-f receiving, nude pics taken w/o consent, drunk & horny bucky, Bucky POV so a whole lot of dirty thoughts, pining, wet dreams, basically pwp, fluff, angst, poor self-esteem/body image issues. 18+ Minors DNI. DNR if you do not like or are triggered by such topics. Read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3,515

A/N: I’ve been working on this one for awhile, but I’m still calling it a “celebration” fic for Seb’s 40th b-day (ha!) I feel like it’s been forever since I wrote for one of his characters so this was the perfect motivation to finally finish this one up. Hopefully y’all are into this absolute filth I’ve written😘 Like, comment, reblog, I always appreciate feedback so plz let me know what u think!

This story should not be posted anywhere else without my express permission.

Thanks for reading!

-Ruby

Bucky stumbled through the front door of your flat, trying (and failing) to keep quiet in his semi-drunken state. He knew you’d be asleep at this hour and didn’t want to wake you. His night out hadn’t gone quite as planned, but if he couldn’t go home with someone from the bar, the next best thing was crashing at your place and hanging out in the morning. It also helped that he had a spare key, and that you lived 10 minutes away from the bar he’d been at, which may or may not have been planned in advance.

His original plan had been to crash on your couch, but when he laid down on it and barely fit, he knew he’d have to find a different option. He’d forgotten that your “couch” was more of a loveseat. A good portion of his legs hung off the armrest and only half of his body could fit on the cushions. Suffice to say, not an optimal choice for getting a good night’s rest.

It made sense you didn’t have a giant couch, though. You lived alone and whenever Bucky came over he just curled up next to you, normally with your legs slung over his nap. He wasn’t big on personal boundaries anyways. It’s a good thing you’d gotten used to that part of him. Because, in his opinion, when in his presence you should always be within arms reach and preferably already within his arms. He had never found someone so perfect for cuddling. You were just so soft, plus your scent made him dizzy. He really was lucky to have you as his best friend, and especially to have you as his cuddle buddy.

With the thought of your hugs in mind, Bucky rolled off the sorry excuse for a couch and tiptoed to your room. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d bunked with you, so it was fine, right? Bucky cracked open the door, and peered inside. He could just make out your covered, slumbering form in the middle of your queen-sized bed that was pressed into the far corner of the room.

He pulled off his jacket as he walked towards the bed, leaving himself in just his short-sleeved shirt and black joggers. They’d have to do for the night since he didn’t think you would appreciate waking up to his naked ass curled up next to you in the morning. He wished he’d left some pjs at your place, though, since your room was unusually hot. There must have been something wrong with your AC, because he knew you hated sleeping in the heat.

When he got to the side of your bed, he grabbed the thin sheet covering you and pulled it back. He stopped dead in his tracks.

You were curled up on your side, one leg lifted over the other, your arms wrapped around the wolf plushie he had bought you for your birthday this year.

That was not what gave him pause though. What made him still his movements and all the blood in his body drain to his crotch was what you were wearing.

More like what you weren’t wearing.

Only a thin crop top covered your torso. It stopped just above your navel. The only other thing on your body was a pair of pink panties that rode up your backside, covering a strip of your belly too. They weren’t fancy, looked like the simple cotton kind that was worn for comfort, not seduction. It didn’t matter what mainstream purpose they served, Bucky had never been more aroused by the sight of underwear in his life.

He gulped and his hand instinctively moved to his cock, palming it over his pants. A low groan emitted from his lips. You shifted at the sound and turned over on your back, exposing more of your front. Bucky felt close to bursting. Your shirt had ridden up and he could just make out the underside of your breasts. He gripped his cock tighter, this time holding in his groan.

Normally, around him, you wore comfy clothes: sweatpants, oversized shirts, leggings-he loved the leggings-but you never showed much skin. Sometimes you would wear shorts, but those stopped at your mid-thigh, denying Bucky any glimpse of the treasure that lay above. This sudden exposure of your soft skin unencumbered by fabric was too much for Bucky’s brain. His eyes couldn’t take in all your enchanting curves, gentle rolls, and adorable dimples fast enough.

The synopses in his brain were short-circuiting. He was running on pure adrenaline and primal instinct, so he couldn’t have possibly stopped his hand from plunging beneath his underwear. He gripped his throbbing cock and started hastily pumping his throbbing length, his steady breaths morphing into uncontrollable pants. The pressure of his tight fist felt so good but he soon needed more. How could he be satisfied by just looking at you when the temptation of your voluptuous body was right within reach?

He pulled down his pants with the hand that wasn’t wrapped around his dick before he tentatively brought up a knee to rest on the bed. When you didn’t react to the weight shift, he brought up his other one. He was now kneeling just a foot away from you, still hesitating to cross that last line between you two.

When you shifted in your sleep again and opened up your legs to reveal your clothed core, he threw all caution to the wind. Fuck it. You were a heavy sleeper. 

He placed his metal hand on your knee to test the waters and see if you reacted at all to the slight touch. You didn’t move. He slid it down to your hip and gave a gentle squeeze followed by a little shake. You dozed on. Sucking in a deep breath, he brushed his fingertips over the thin fabric covering your center. When you still didn’t react, he rubbed them over your folds, cock pulsing with want when he felt the warmth radiating from beneath your underwear. He brought his fingers back up and breathed in. Your intoxicating scent rolled over him like waves.

He had to taste you.

He hooked a finger on the side of your panties and pulled it over to reveal your naked pussy. Bucky could have passed out. You were perfect.

He leaned forward and slid his tongue between your folds, lapping at your damp core. When he flicked his tongue over your clit you let out a soft moan he stilled, his heart beating a mile a minute. He waited with bated breath, but the only thing that happened was a sudden increase in your arousal. Your juices coated his tongue and he lapped them up, savoring every last drop.

So your body was reacting to what he was doing… Bucky smiled at that revelation and focused his tongue on your clit again. He rolled the sweet bud, playing with it tenderly. His teeth grazed it and your thighs suddenly clenched around his head, caging him in. You were still asleep though. The pressure on the sides of his head didn’t bother him at all—he was a super soldier for god’s sake.

He continued lathering your bundle of nerves with attention as he slid his hand between your thighs and stroked over your dripping entrance. Slowly, he dipped his middle finger in, moaning into your cunt when he felt your pussy clench around the intruding digit. He imagined the feeling of your tight walls squeezing around his cock and he felt pre-cum leaking from the straining member. All of his focus stayed on you, though. He was fixated on your pleasure, needing you to come on his face and fingers.

He added another finger, but made sure to keep his movements languid, not wanting to jar you awake with a harsh, roaring orgasm. Instead, he rolled and sucked your clit gently, keeping the rhythm of his fingers slow as they curled up. A soft moan left your lips and he knew he’d hit the spot that would do you in.

He ground his fingers against your g-spot, and when he felt your walls clench around him, he sucked just a little harder on your throbbing clit. Your thighs trembled around his head and you gave a breathy gasp as a gush of your arousal spilled onto his fingers. He pulled them out and moved his mouth to drink up the heavenly liquid. After that, he popped his fingers into his mouth, sucking your sweetness off of them one by one.

Bucky glowed in the ecstasy of what he’d just accomplished. He had drawn a slow, deep orgasm from his best friend without you waking a wink. It was actually pretty impressive that you were such a heavy sleeper.

Your murmured sounds of pleasure as you floated down from your high made his dick throb with need. If you had slept through that, maybe Bucky could push the boundaries even further.

He pressed your thighs apart, gazing at the way your cunt beckoned him for more; to take as much pleasure as he had just given you. He furrowed his brow in thought. As much as he wanted to bury his pulsing cock deep in your tight heat, he knew if you woke up with an aching pussy you would know what happened. Because he knew you’d feel it in the morning if he stretched your little hole around his thick cock. Bucky didn’t want that. He needed to move slowly with you, tonight was just a little blip that arose from an opportunity he couldn’t have possibly denied.

Still, jerking off while looking at you wasn’t good enough. He squeezed your thighs as he contemplated his options and his heart skipped a beat as he came up with a perfect compromise. His eyes flew to the plush appendages. He pushed them together and dipped his hand between the apex of your thighs. He sucked in a breath when he felt just how warm and soft it was. This had to be the next best thing behind actually fucking you.

He reached down to your pussy and scooped up some of your fluids and rubbed them on your inner thighs to get them nice and wet. The pre-cum leaking out of his dick would help too. Still on his knees, he scooted closer, his metal arm wrapped around your legs holding them over his shoulder.

He looked down at your wanting body. The afterglow of your orgasm shone across your entire being. Your shirt had ridden up even more and your breasts were now on full display. He leaned forward and blew on one of your nipples, grinning when it stiffened. He plucked it gently with his fingers before returning to the main event.

With your thighs held together, he slid his cock right in between them, directly over your mound; he was barely able to hold back an animalistic growl at the vivid sensation. He pushed his dick further, and watched as it was engulfed by your velvety thighs. When his pelvis finally rested flush against them, and the tip of his dick stuck out the other side, he let out the breath he had been holding in.

He slid his hips back and started to slowly, but steadily, fuck your thighs.

The thighs he had spent countless hours fantasizing about. The thighs he would get secret pleasure from touching whenever he could. The thighs that were now swallowing his dick so perfectly it was a miracle he hadn’t cum yet. As he methodically thrusted, heady with the incredible feeling, he reached his hand out and plucked at your nipple. He couldn’t resist. You let out another faint moan and he rolled the little nub with his thumb before pinching it lightly.

“Bucky-”

He stilled when the sound of his mumbled name came from your lips. You had woken up. He’d been found him out. What was he going to do? You were going to kick him out and he’d never see you again.

After a few seconds of waiting for your to wrench away from him in disgust, he finally peered down at your tender face. Your eyes were still closed and your breathing hadn’t changed. Maybe he had misheard you.

“Bucky-fuck yes, please. Bucky-”

Your back arched slightly, pushing your breast further into his palm. You purred in your sleep, and he felt your thighs rub together-which felt like heaven. Your head flipped to the side and you let out more moans, your volume gradually increasing. His very name was uttered every few words. You slightly bucked your hips and your arms tussled in the covers. 

Oh god. You were having a wet dream. About him. Bucky could have jumped for joy. He would, if his dick wasn’t shoved between your thighs and he wasn’t as hard as he’d ever been in his entire life. Instead, he let out little pleasure-filled murmurs of his own, whispering your name like a prayer that was finally being answered. He splayed his hand out on your chest feeling the rapid beat of your heart. When he felt the rumble in your chest as you, in your sleep, begged for him to fuck you, he went feral.

It was a sign, if he was in your dreams and your body was this turned on, it wouldn’t be long until you were actually his. Just the thought of you awake, staring up at him with lust filled eyes as you opened your legs, ready for him to slide into your dripping cunt, set him on fire. His hand left your tits and he wrapped both arms around your thick thighs as he pistoned his cock back and forth. With every quick stroke, it brushed over your needy clit, making you buck your hips slightly.

Bucky could tell you were right up there with his own mounting orgasm. He angled his hips down slightly to give you more pressure and he must have hit something just right because your whole body spasmed and you let out a curdled groan, practically shouting his name.

“Buckyyy!”

Your cry pushed him over the edge and he came too, coating your stomach in his seed. All he could do as his cum spurted out of his aching dick was chant endless words of praise for how good you felt, how he couldn’t wait to one day fill your pussy with his cum too. He wanted to dominate every part of you, claim what had been his. When he had spent every last drop, he pulled away and gently set your legs down. He slid a finger through the mess he’d made on your belly and a shudder ran down his back. He’d finally done it. Bucky had marked you with his seed.

Panting, he jumped out of the bed and headed to the bathroom to grab something to wipe up his cum. He came back, but paused before he cleaned you up. He bent down and swiped up his phone from his jacket pocket.

He flipped to his camera app. The open window and clear sky cast just enough light for him to capture your mostly naked state without using the flash. You were a picture of pure beauty, skin glistening with sweat and covered in his cum. He reached forward and pulled your shirt up further, getting a snapshot of your incredible tits, your nipples were still stiff peaks.

He felt his dick stirring again, but took in a deep breath to calm himself. The next time he came with you in the room, it was going to be inside of you while you screamed his name and clawed at his back. These photos were just a memento to mark such a special occasion. And to help him wade through the tide as he waited for you to open your legs willingly, or at least knowingly, to him.

With his new treasures saved to his camera roll, he tossed his phone back on the pile of clothes. He cleaned his cum from your stomach, making sure he got all of the sticky fluid. He walked back to the bathroom and tossed the now sodden rag in the trash under the sink, hidden from sight. Tomorrow, he’d be a dear and take the garbage to the dumpster for you.

He walked back into your room and pulled on his pants before hopping back into bed beside you. He fixed your shirt and underwear so that they were back in place. He ran his hands over the wet spot blooming on your panties, but there was nothing he could do about that. Oh well. He pulled you into his chest and quickly dosed off into the best sleep of his life, dreaming of delectable curves and the sound of his name on your lips.

________________________________________

You were having the best dream. Cool, metal fingers were moving between your thighs as heated lips melted into yours, taking your breath away. The sensations felt so good. So right. You were about to whisper the words you’d been wanting to say for years, but a beeping pinged through the lusty fog. Just like that, the lips and hand were gone, though a warm presence still lingered.

You kept your eyes screwed shut, heeding the images to return, but they were gone. You were not happy that your, now silent, alarm had chosen that exact moment to wake you up. Though that wasn’t the only dream you’d had with a certain dark haired super soldier that night. It had been filled with your beautiful best friend; the two of you intertwined in lecherous passion.

Finally, you squinted your eyes open and soon realized that the heated presence from your vanished dream wasn’t just imagined. You blinked, surprised to find Bucky sleeping right next to you. You would have wondered why he was in your bed when he definitely hadn’t been there when you’d gone to sleep, but you were too distracted by his slumbering face.

His long, black eyelashes dusted cast faint shadows across his slightly pinkened cheeks, and a dark strand of hair had fallen out of place. You brushed it back behind his ear and smiled at how soft he looked like this. The fact that he could relax and be so open and vulnerable around you made your heart swell. You felt the same way around him; safe and secure. You trusted him with your whole being, he truly was your best friend.

A part of you saddened at that last thought. Deep down, you yearned to be so much more, but you were too scared to make a move. You knew Bucky loved you, but you didn’t know if he could love all of you. If he could want all of you. It was hard to look at his sculpted body and chiseled features, and believe that a person so attractive could possibly be interested in you.

You sighed, trying to shake the unnecessary thoughts from your head as you sat up, gently lifting his arm from where it rested across your waist. As you shifted, you felt a dampness between your thighs, and the realization that you had been dreaming about him all night shot through you like a flame. Oh god, what if you’d said anything in your sleep? What if he’d heard you? You didn’t know how long he’d been there. 

Another realization sprung in your head and you looked down. You actually gave an audible gasp. You were practically naked from the waist down. He had seen you wearing your ugly granny panties and your old t-shirt from college that you’d cropped a just little too short.

The fact that he had seen you in such a state brought tears to your eyes. There was no way he was going to be even slightly interested in you romantically now that he knew what you looked like underneath all the modest clothes you normally sported around him.

You leaped out of bed, not caring if you disturbed him, and scuttled to the bathroom; grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a long-sleeved t-shirt from your closet on your way. You didn’t care that your AC was broken.

You rushed into the bathroom and shut the door, springing into the shower. Thoughts spun through your head, but you just kept telling yourself that it had been too dark for him to see anything. That he had been too tired when he got there to take notice of all your imperfections on display. That you really didn’t need to worry. When it felt like you could breathe again, you stepped out of the shower. You grabbed a towel, but caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you dried off. You frowned and quickly looked away from the glaring image.

Bucky was way too good for you.

________________________________________

In your room, Bucky was sitting on the edge of your bed, waiting for you to finish your shower. He was smiling from ear to ear as he swiped through the photos he’d taken last night.

God, you were perfect for him.

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #soft!dark!bucky barnes #soft!dark!bucky #dark bucky barnes #bucky x plus size reader #bucky barnes x plus size reader #plus size reader #soft!dark!bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky barnes thigh sex #bucky barnes somnophilia #noncon/dubcon #18+ #plus size reader smut #plus size reader fanfic #plus size reader insert #dark smut #mcu #mcu fanfic #mcu smut #My writing #me #rubynationwins

[27emailsicantsend]

Root Beer, Rina, and Change

I made a post about this awhile ago, but I cannot find it for the life of me.

Symbolism is super important in shows. Typically, an object, place, or phrase can stand for or foreshadow something important that will happen in the show. Not everything is symbolic, but there is a good chance that if something is brought up continuously or if it feels like dialogue is stretched/a scene is slowed down: it’s symbolic. One of the biggest things/symbols I have seen in HSMTMTS is Root Beer. It’s not JUST the Root Beer, but the people and events that happen around it. To me it’s the show runners way of saying “hey, you heard the key word! Pay attention!”

I have been trying to link up every evidence of Root Beer appearing in the show (if you guys find anymore, feel free to reblog with them), but here is what I have so far:

Season 1, Episode 7 Thanksgiving

Gina and Nini both go to the kitchen for root beers. Both make up after the “Wonderstudy” catastrophe. Nini had also been jealous of Gina spending so much time with Ricky up to this point. Nini talks about how much she wish she could leave, while Gina talks about how much she wish she could stay put. Nini invites Gina to her first sleep over.

Season 2, Episode 1 New Year’s Eve

While not directly addressed, Root Beer is placed directly in camera shot- label in the foreground. In this scene, Ricky’s dad thanks him for staying home for Christmas (rather than being in Chicago) and then tells Ricky they’re moving. The bell rings, in which Ricky says it’s Nini arriving.

Season 2, Episode 1 New Year’s Eve

Another scene where it’s not addressed, but it is obviously EJ arriving with Root Beer. EJ tells Ashlyn (+Carlos) how much he’s changing from growing a beard (being an adult/senior), taking a break from social media, and volunteering at the soup kitchen. Gina eavesdrops when she finds out EJ doesn’t know what the next play is going to be (which at this point they all thought was HSM2).

Season 2, Episode 1 New Year’s Eve

Gina is sitting down and Ricky sits down between her and Nini. He gives Gina a head nod and she sort of.. glares at him? Is the best way I can put it? She announces she is getting a root beer then asks if anyone wants any. Ashlyn replies saying she is ok. After Gina walks away, Ricky looks back at her giving a surprised and confused face.

Season 2, Episode 10

The girls (+Seb) are sitting around and Ashlyn blurts out about the chocolates Gina thought Ricky gave her (this was right after them all talking about how EJ could have a thing for Gina and Gina getting Ashlyn’s blessing [and somewhat Nini’s because she was hyping up the relationship- didn’t seem upset at all about it]). Gina explains that it was a misunderstanding, but doesn’t neglect to say that she thought it meant more than something friendly. Nini gets upset, wondering why she had never heard about it. Gina tries to say it wasn’t a big deal and Ashlyn tries to say it was just a really funny joke. Kourtney then tries to diffuse the situation by saying they should move on from the subject and at the exact same time, Nini announces she is going to get a Root Beer.

This was all I have seen so far, but these scenes are HUGE. Some common things I’ve noticed with them:

They all deal with the core 4

Ashlyn seems to be widely involved in them as well

When things are awkward, root beer is used as an escape

Each of the scenes involve big discussions around change and main character arcs

So, there are many things the Root Beer could symbolize:

Change (and avoiding/accepting it)

Character arcs

Major turning points in the story

Theory Time

So what does this mean for Rina?

I actually think it means a lot. Every time Root Beer is shown, it is addressing something greater within the story. With Ricky, it shows his unwillingness to accept change (why he didn’t choose Gina instead of someone familiar). With EJ, it shows his desire to be seen as more and growing up (something beyond Gina’s age right now). Nini it shows her separation/need for separation from her life in SLC (including Ricky). And who have we said from the beginning that we think is going to help get Ricky and Gina together? Ashlyn. She is almost always involved in these scenes, asking questions, diffusing awkwardness… anything. I think she is going to have a major part in finally connecting Gina and Ricky. Whether that’s her talking to her cousin (EJ) or supporting her housemate (who she knows about what happened with Ricky) in getting them together… I think she is the piece that will tie Rina together, help EJ let go of high school/relationships with that and grow up, and encourage Nini to write songs/follow her dreams with Gina’s brother (which is cool because Nini discovered Ashlyn playing the piano/writing songs and then they wrote a song together S2).

Root Beer was just the evidence along the way.

#HSMTMTS #high school musical the musical the series #root beer #symbolism #rina #gina porter #ricky bowen #ashlyn caswell #ej caswell #theory

[stayflaminhotmen]

me ranting about legacies in the tags again because I just finished it! 

#okay I'm actually really surprised at how much I actually enjoyed this series so far #like i guess I had such low expectations that it turned out to be pretty good #it did kinda have too much high school stuff drama stuff and just felt super high school which is one part I didn't like #but the new i guess story and part they put was actually super interesting and captivating #like I was here for it and loved the mystery of it especially in season one #Season two honestly was a little weak for me and with the story #it just be me but it just felt a little off and all over the place a bit #but I really enjoyed the addition of alyssa and sabastian #I really wish they gave us more of seb's story because I thought he was such a good addition to the show like when he came oh my goodness!! #I was here for it #I was not here for that josie x landon x hope love triangle though #I really don't like landon with hope and just want her to be with someone else ahem Raf #They way that they really missed it in season two #like Landon and Hope just feel so forced because they literally have all romantic scenes and no them being genuine friends #With Raf there's so much there that could be done and they actually have moments that are so pure #and the fact that Raf had a crush on Hope even after they all forgot her #I was crying omg #Also what the heck happened to Raf the whole of season two actually #I was so upset at how little of a part he played I missed him #I also grew to love Lizze so much like an iconic queen #I really love how they added mental health and had a school therapist #I just wish they took it a little more seriously though #I think they did a bit in season two especially with Lizze but just a tad bit more and less jokes ya feel #I had a feeling Josie was going to turn evil because of how much she repressed #MG was ahhhhhhh #I love his character so much #literally one of my faves #he is such a good actor and is so funny #Kaleb too like gosh I LOVE their scenes #I have more thoughts but this is already long lol

[wenellyb]

My favorite Sam Wilson moment was in TFATWS episode 6, when he said “I’m Captain America”  because we saw him finally accepting the Captain America mantle and got to see the whole process and all the moments that led up to that very moment. 

At first I was disappointed that we didn’t get to see Sam in his suit from the beginning of the show, but after watching it, I was more than happy that they did it this way. They had a whole show and took advantage of the time they had. We got to see Sam’s doubts, Sam’s struggles and also all the reasons why he would be the perfect Captain America, but they also showed us the reasons why Sam was having doubts about taking the mantle, the way Black men and women are treated in the US, the familly issues he had to deal with on top of that, and we also met Isaiah and heard his heartbreaking story. We really understood the reasons why him wondering if he should do it, because we saw what Black men before him had gone through when they had tried to serve their country. All of this made the suit reveal scene so much more emotional and impactful. And the anticipation was so worth it. i was shaking when Sam said: “I’m Captain America”, because the scene was so perfect.

My favorite Bucky Barnes moment was in TFATWS episode 5, when he hinted at wanting to stay for the night, because it marked the moment when Bucky finally decided he was done punishing himself and pushing people away. He was going to try being happy and going for what he wanted. 

Up until then, Bucky had always tried to keep people at arms length, especially Sam. He never admitted to wanting to spend time with him, following Sam because “ he didn’t trust Redwing”, coming to deliver the suit and acting like Sam had to sign something and he was just the delivery guy. Bucky keeps a distance with people, but in that scene he was the one who wanted to stay overnight, and didn’t even try to find an excuse (how there weren’t any hotel rooms available). It was almost out of character because he finally stopped pushing people away and treating them like sh*t just because he was feeling like sh*t. He just accepted that he had the right to be happy and to stay with people who make him happy and even though he doesn’t accept it completely, at least now he’s trying and was working on it.

But my favorite Sambucky moment was in Avengers: Endgame, when Sam looked at Bucky before accepting the shield, and Bucky gave him a reassuring nod, because he knew that it’s what Sam wanted.

Sambucky interactions in Endgame were just so magic, because they shared only two scenes, but both were meaningful. 

At first, Sam touched Bucky during the funeral scene, I just thought it was Anthony just stackying with Seb, but then, in the scene where Sam received the shield, and we saw how close Sam and Bucky were, it was clear that they wanted to show us how close both characters had gotten. And not close like friends who laugh and banter with each other, but close like friends who stay together and support each other in every situation.  They were doing doing everything husbands do, and nobody said anything about it.

That moment was just pure magic, 

The ship was still a small bubble, so there was only the postive, no controversies, and we had husbands! Sambucky, and their bond was undeniable. As a Sambucky shipper, that whole experience felt surreal because, you kind of ship the two but never think it will go anywhere, but then it went somewhere. Before the movie, I was only wishing we could at least see Sam and Bucky talking to each other, or shared at least one joke. But then we got them behaving like THAT. Magic.

I love that we got to see more of Sam and more of Bucky in TFATWS, but to me only a very few Sambucky scenes can compete with those few seconds in Endgame. Where we saw two men who mean the world to each other and offer mutual support to each other, whenever the other one needs it.

#As usual these are only my thoughts #sam wilson #bucky barnes #sambucky

[thebestpersonherelovesbucky]

Falcon and the Winter Soldier: Ep. 4 Takeaway

Uh. No. No, I was not in any way, shape, or form prepared for that heart-wrenching opening. That raw emotion. The gut-punching fear. The devastation. The soul massive relief from under all that fear and pain. No, I was not ready.

“She’s just a kid.” This is why Sam should be Captain America. Look, no one can replace Steve Rogers. There will never be another Steve Rogers. But that’s not the point. Sam isn’t meant to replace anyone. He’s meant to be his own Captain America. A man who has the heart and soul of a person who doesn’t go looking for a fight. A man who will fight when it needs to be done. A man who reaches out with compassion first and fists second. Sam is the Captain America this world needs in these modern times and tbh it doesn’t deserve him.

“Those are our friends you’re talking about.” “The Avengers, not the Nazis.” Thank you for your contribution, Bucky. 😂 No, but, I really liked the our friends. Not just my friends, but our friends and Bucky concurring with that by pointing out who Sam means. 

Sam sharing the story about his TT. His family means so much to him as does community and I think that’s why he can relate to Karli and what she wants to do but also cannot condone how she’s going about it. 

Yes, if anyone wondered, Baron Zemo would sell out his family to the White Witch for some Turkish Delight. 

I do like Zemo stepping back into the more villainous role. While I enjoyed the humor from last episode, it never really sat right with me that they gave Zemo a “tragic” backstory. He was Hydra in the comics and it feels weird to me to change it in such a way. He was a supremacist so his new anti-supremacist ideals is...off-putting to me.  

“It wasn’t just one community coming together. It was the entire world.” Hence why Sam can understand Karli’s goals.

Sam assuming the leadership role so much in the episode. So much foreshadowing to what’s (hopefully) to come. 

When Bucky loses it with Zemo and Sam is like “Don’t engage. He’s just gonna extort you and do that stupid head tilt thing.” Not only is this more leadership from Sam it’s also showing how much he pays attention. He knows all their social cues. He knew Zemo was gonna do that probably before Zemo even did. In other words, Sam Wilson is remarkable. 

Sam calling Sharon for help. I wasn’t expecting her again so soon. Yay!!

As soon as John Walker steps on screen I want to punch something. 

“He’s dealt with worth. And he’s not my partner.” Look at Bucky backing Sam up while trying to play it cool. We all know you love him, Buck.

Sam talking to Karli. Coming to her from a place of understanding and genuinely trying to earn her trust because he does understand her pain. He’s filled with so much compassion and so much empathy and he knows how to employ both of them to better a situation and the world at large instead of coming in guns blazing. He gets it. And he wants Karli to know that he gets it. His approach to getting her to see that she’s going about it in the wrong way. But while she’s okay with acceptable loss, she in fact expects it, Sam is not. “No, it’s not a better place if you’re killing people. It’s just different.” Again, this is what makes him a good Captain America. 

“He knows what he’s doing.” Bucky’s faith and trust in Sam when Walker is literally itching for a fight. That...cold, obsessed look in Walker’s eyes was chilling. (I’ve given kudos to Mackie and Seb for their acting but I should also acknowledge Wyatt Russel’s chilling performance)) 

Thank you, John Walker, for coming in and making things better oh wait, no. Just come in a fuck things up. Super of you. 

Sam’s immediate “no” when Zemo asked if he’d take the serum if he was offered it and asking about Bucky being included in the “super soldiers cannot be allowed to exist.” “Blood isn’t always the solution.” Sam is just. I’m running out of words.

I’m now walking a thin line of patience with Bucky criticizing Sam over not taking the Shield. Like, yes, he’s right in that Steve’s wishes were not honored, but Sam is living the consequences wanting to do the right thing by giving the Shield to a museum. He did not and would not have ever handed it over to anyone to use, especially not a man like John Walker. Sam didn’t give it to him. The government did. The same way they’d’ve given the serum to a man like Gilmore Hodge. The same way they forced it upon Isiah Bradley and then experimented on him and locked him away. The same way they “agreed” that Sam was doing the right thing by turning the Shield over and then handing it to John Walker. This is not Sam’s fault.  

I could take hours of Ayo and the Dora Milaje kicking John Walker’s ass.

Ayo and the Dora Milaje. 

Did I mention Ayo and the Dora Milaje? 

I really want to know what Ayo said to Bucky there**. After everything the Wakandans did for him, I can understand why she did what she did. She helped give his freedom and his mind back to him. I know Bucky only intercepted in that particular fight because Sam asked him to and he didn’t (not totally) want them to hurt Walker but. They gave him this place of freedom and his actions (breaking Zemo out, getting involved in their fight) did disrespect them. 

The Dora stepping on and catching the Shield. SWOON.

“They weren’t even super soldiers.” Oh, boo freaking hoo. You don’t need the serum to be a superhero, dude. And the fact that you’re basing so much of this on that plus your obesssion to gt it just proves you’re not worthy of it. 

“Power just makes a person more of themselves, right?” Vs. “Because a strong man, who has known power all his life, will lose respect for that power. But a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows compassion."

Seriously, the expressions John Walker makes sends chills down my spine.

Karli calling Sarah. I actually thought she’d show up in person. Sarah’s comments about “Captain America” and her assurances that Sam is not working for Walker. 

Sam’s immediate protectiveness when Sarah calls him and Bucky’s worry on his behalf. Sam’s anger with Karli when they meet again and the fact that he didn’t argue with Bucky for him wanting to come rather than Sam going in alone. 

Sam and Bucky working together (anyone notice a lot less bickering??) is so amazing. I love them as a team. 

Sam’s face when he realizes that Walker took the serum. 

Quite honestly, if Bucky Barnes wanted to stab me with knives all night long, I’d let him. 

Not happy with them killing Lemar for white man pain. I’m sure there were other ways they could have had Walker rage out. 

That amazing parallel between Steve slamming the Shield down in Civil War to defend himself and Bucky and Walker killing a person who was just with Karli. 

Speaking of parallels, there was SO many in this episode. The serum vials being shattered. The bursting through the doors Shield first. The jumping out of the window with the Shield. Just wow. 

“The Whole World is Watching”. A quote from Black Panther when T’Challa did not kill Klaue, an actual terrorist. The title of this episode when John Walker kills a man who didn’t even incite his rage. 

And, of course, that final image. I’m still shaking over it. If there’s a better image for what America represents to the rest of the world, idk what is. I just want to cry after seeing what this man is doing with it. This is why he’s U.S. Agent who represents the “power” and “strength” and “might” of the United States. Not Captain America who represents the ideals and hopes of what any country can be. 

The acting in this is utterly incredible. The story has me reeling. My mind has been blown by each and every episode and I can’t believe there are only two left. 

**Edit: Got it now! Thanks to those who messaged/replied!! 

#Sam Wilson #Bucky Barnes #John Walker #Falcon and the winter soldier #Lemar Hoskins #Baron Zemo #marvel #Sharon Carter #mcu shows #fws spoilers #mcu #long post #my stuff #thoughts

[itspufflehuff]

Spidey Part3 - Sebastian Stan X Holland!Reader

Summary: Things are going great with you and Sebastian but what will happen when he has to leave to film a movie?

MATERLIST // TAGLIST

Part One| Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | 

Thank you all so much for being patient for this part three! Its not as long as part one or two but I think it is just as sweet. If you would like for me to continue this series let me know! If you have any suggestions or request for what I should do next my inbox is always open. 

I would also like to give a special thanks to @star-gazing-game​ and @not-another-fangirl​ who requested part three and always give my post so much love. Thank you both! 

Word Count: 1,648

You decided to keep things away from the media at first.

Of course Tom was the first to know, not only because Sebastian asked for his permission but because after your date you immediately called Tom to tell him. Sebastian talked to Mackie about the date. You were both so happy you needed to talk to someone.

Soon the entire marvel cast knew and surprisingly Tom wasn't the one who spilled the beans.

About a week after your fourth date with Sebastian, he got a text from Chris Hemsworth.

C.H: Congrats man! I heard about you and Y/N. I knew I saw sparks flying at comic-con.

Coincidentally you happened to be at Sebastian's apartment when he got the text. You were both laying on his couch watching a movie. He was sitting next to the arm of the sofa as you snuggled up to him resting your head on his shoulder with a blanket tossed over the both of you.

When he read the text he looked at his phone confused, "Did you tell anyone we're together?"

"Only Tom. Why?"

You felt him move, a second later his phone was in front of you, "Hemsworth? Who told him?"

Both of you immediately thought of Tom but before you texted him asking why he told everyone you decided to do some digging. You took Sebastian's phone and replied back.

Sebastian: Thank you but quick question... how did you know?

Less than a minute later he responded.

C.H: RDJ

Immediately you both texted him from Sebastian's phone. Soon you all found out who the culprit was, Mackie. Turns out he was so proud of himself for playing Cupid the night Sebastian saw you after your show he bragged Chris Evans that he helped set you two up. Then Evans mentioned it to Mark Ruffalo who then let it slip to RDJ. Of course him being Robert Downey Jr. he told everyone else.

Neither of you were mad at anyone or even upset, you were just confused about how the word got out. The both of you even though it was a bit funny. Still, you wanted it to be out of the public eye for a bit. You both loved being able to go out without paparazzi following you and trying to get a picture of Hollywood's newest couple. The entire cast was so sweet and kept everything private.

For a few months, you were lucky to have Sebastian all to yourself. After rehearsal, he would meet you at your place with food and a bag of games and movies. At the end of your shows, he would always bring you one single flower to add to your growing collection. On your days off you would spend the night at each other's apartments making pillow forts and sneaking out to the balcony to lay there and watch the stars.

Then the time came again for him to start filming Endgame. He wouldn't be gone for too long as he only had a few scenes to be in, but that didn't stop the both of you from being upset at having to part ways for a bit.

You were scheduled for a tv performance with your cast the same day Sebastian would leave to fly out to LA. He asked you to spend the night with him that way you could say your goodbyes the next day in private. Luckily you had no show to do so you went over to his apartment early in the evening to have a romantic night with your boyfriend.

When you should up he was dressed in his lazy clothes. He pulled you into his apartment, grabbed you by the waist with one hand, and with the other he shut the door before placing a loving kiss on your lips. You could feel him smiling which made your stomach bubble up with joy. He pulled away then took your bag that had your clothes for the next day, "Let me take that for you, my lady. Wait for me here." He gave you a dopey smile and placed a soft kiss on your forehead. You listened to him and stood by the door slowly taking your coat off. He came back less than a minute later still with his dopey grin he placed his hand on your lower back, "Now if you would just follow me outside my songbird."

You couldn't help but giggle at his behavior, "Hello to you too. Are you feeling well? You're acting a bit strange Seb."

His hand still rest on your back as he walked you towards his patio, "Of course I'm feeling well. What? I can't be happy to see my lovely girlfriend?" He faked being offended.

"No, of course, you can it's just-" But when he opened the door to his patio you stopped with a small gasp. There were blankets set out on the floor along with a couple of pillows. He set out a picnic basket and next to it was a small tin bucket with a bottle of wine and ice. The sun was starting to set but you saw fairy lights and candles set up.

"Surprise!"

"Seb, this is amazing." You stood there in shock. Sure he's taken you out on dates and you've had lunch/ dinner out on his patio before but he's never taken the time to set it up nice like this before.

"I want to have an amazing night with you before I have to leave for a few months." He took your hand and sat you down on the blankets with him. "So, I didn't want to ruin tonight with my horrible cooking so I got us food from the restaurant we had our first date at. It's not as romantic as a home-cooked meal but I thought it would be pretty close."

You smiled at him as you put your hand on his cheek, "This is amazing Sebastian. Thank you."

"Anything to keep my girl happy." He leaned in kissing you sweetly. When you both pulled away he rested his head on your forehead wanting to stay as close as possible.

The evening went by quicker than either of you expected. You both sat out there talking and sipping on wine for hours. Neither of you even noticed when the sun went down or when the air got colder. He noticed you beginning to shiver. Quickly he unzipped the sweater he had on placing it over your shoulders. Once you had your arms through the hole he pulled you into his embrace to keep you warm. You both sat there in the quiet for a few moments just enjoying each other's presence.

"Do you have to go tomorrow?" You turned your head to look up at him.

His eyes were closed as his head was facing up at the sky, "I wish I could stay or you could go with me." You shivered again as the cold wind blew, "Let's go inside now my songbird. I don't want you getting sick."

"I want to stay in your arms." You whined.

He chuckled, "How about we head inside we can cuddle under the blankets?"

"Do you have more wine?"

"Yes?" He said more like a question.

"Ok, let's go." You got up and headed for the door. His head dropped as he laughed.

After the both of you put everything away Sebastian took a bottle of wine from his fridge and walked you to his room hand in hand. You kicked your shoes off as he turned the lamp by his bed on. "I'm just gonna change really quick before we cuddle." You opened up the bag you brought then groaned.

"What's wrong?" Sebastian perked his head up concerned.

"I didn't bring clothes to sleep in."

He laughed walking over to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and bent down to rest his head in the crook of your neck, "It's ok you can just wear my shirt and the shorts you left the other night."

"Thank you."

He kissed your neck quickly then pulled away. As he walked over to the dresser he pulled off the shirt he was wearing and tossed it over to you.

"What?" You held the shirt up confused.

"I said you could wear my shirt."

"Yeah, but I thought you meant you would give me a new one."

He just shrugged, "You know I sleep shirtless anyway." A second later you felt another piece of fabric softly hit your head. You grabbed it seeing he just threw your shorts to you, "Thanks." You said sarcastically.

You began pulling off the shirt you were wearing to replace it with his. As soon as he saw you lift your shirt he turned. You've changed in front of him before but he always keeps his back turned to give you some privacy.

"Ok, I'm done changing." You sat on his bed as he followed suit. He grabbed the bottle of wine and began taking swigs of it then offering it to you.  For the rest of the night, you both sat on his bed drinking and talking about your horror stories of past relationships. Much to your dislike Sebastian ended up drinking more than half the bottle. He laid back on the bed and pulled you down with him. He grabbed one of his blankets then threw it over the both of you. You both laid there silently. You listened to him breathe as it looked like he was falling asleep.  

"Y/N?" He softly spoke.

"Yes, Sebastian?"

"I'm glad we met. I don't know how I survived so long without you."

You blushed, but he couldn't see it as the room was dark.

"You make me so happy Y/N. Thank you." He kissed the tip of your nose then pulled you closer to him. Soon he drifted off to sleep. You listened to his heartbeat as you thought to yourself.

I love this man so much.

#sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan #sebastion x reader #mcu #marvel #bucky barnes #bucky fanfic #mcu imagine #fanfic #imagine

[angstysebfan]

PR Stunt Gone Wrong - Chapter 28

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: You are a fellow actress in the MCU, Bucky’s love interest. You met Seb during the CA: WS and you guys hit it off. Chemistry on and off the set, but never dated until after Infinity War. During filming of FATWS, the pandemic caused everything to shut down. Seb offered you to spend quarantine with him, but somewhere along the lines, things go wrong and Seb makes a PR decision.

A/N: I was going to to this in a Bucky story, but then I decided to keep it Seb. With everything going on with Seb over the last several months, I came up with this story in my head. Obviously a lot of this is made up, but it is using what we know Seb has been doing over the last several months.

After Sebastian left, you spent a great deal of your time back on the beach, thinking. You were thankful that the area was quiet and empty and you could have time with your thoughts as you walked up and down the long beachfront with Tucker. You started thinking about everything, and got very overwhelmed. You decided to break everything down.

You started with Chase, since you both had a newer relationship, so not as much to think about. Chase was the one that was there for you when you fell apart. He came to your rescue like a knight in shining white armor. He held you when you cried, he told you all your feelings were valid, and he made you pick yourself up when you were down. He respected your ongoing feelings for Seb and never pressured you to move on.

When you both kissed the first time, you didn’t know what to think. Of course you liked it, but you immediately stopped it. You assumed it was because you weren’t over Seb. You convinced yourself that you didn’t have feelings for Chase. You tried to shut down anything that would have made you feel more for Chase, because he had become your best friend. You, eventually, let your walls down and allowed yourself to give in to temptation. 

At first you didn’t regret it, because nothing changed between you. As time went on, however, you started to have some feelings, and knew he did also. When he left you to film, you missed him, a lot. But now that you think about it, you did pretty well on your own. You were calling him every day, only when you needed advice. Most of the time you were too busy with work, or talking about the trial to talk to him. 

Going out to LA was amazing, and you are honestly happy you did it. Seeing him again, being with him, letting him in more, was perfect. You thought you were going to be out there for awhile, but you chose to leave. You wanted time to think. You were confused by your feelings for him, and for Sebastian.

Now Sebastian was a whole other matter. You have known him for so long, and have had so many ups and downs with him, you don’t know where to start. I guess the clue was when he didn’t choose you at first to be with. You were his fuck buddy, and nothing more. It took awhile for you both to get on the same page, and you decided to give him another chance. It was still rocky, but for the most part, you were happy.

You feel in love with him, hard. You started picturing a long life with him. Marriage, kids, growing old together, the works. You were too scared to tell him how you felt, thinking he would run away. Another clue, I guess. It took awhile, but he said it first. As mad as you were at him, your heart lit up like Christmas when you heard those words. When you finally said them back, you felt like the Earth shifted and everything was finally in their right place. 

The pandemic brought a lot of struggle for you both, but you kept going, together. It wasn’t until he was given the ultimatum of doing this PR relationship, or your career was going to be ruined. You still wish that he would have spoken to you. That he would have told you what was going on, so you could fight it together. But, “to protect you” he left you. Leaving you broke you, and then find out that he was with another woman, who was younger, and thinner, prettier (in your head), broke you more. 

Why would you believe that it wasn’t real? He didn’t answer your calls, texts, or any other communication. He only reached out after he saw you and Chase together, because he was jealous. Seeing him again for the first time, and seeing his sad eyes, all you wanted to do was run into his arms. You always wanted to protect him, just like he always wants to protect you. You can’t fault him for that, though you wish you could. 

But he fucking slept with the bitch! That is something you are not sure you can forgive. You swore you would never sleep with him again, but obviously that didn’t work out. You want to know why! Why did he have to sleep with her? He even admitted that he liked it. That is a smack in the face like no other.

You will never forget that day in your trailer, when he told you what was going on. You finally told him how you felt. That you hated him, which a part of you really does. You hate that he took it upon himself to do this without talking to you. You hate that he broke your heart and acted like it wasn’t a big deal. You hated that he slept with her who knows how many times. Your emotions got the better of you and slept with him. You made sure that there was no emotions except anger in that moment.

Since then, he has been patient, and understanding, and kind. Almost like the old Seb that you fell in love with. He has let you be a part of everything with the case, and has been behind you with all decisions you have made. Even telling you if you chose Chase, he would support it. You feel tears in your eyes thinking about that. 

Chase gave you up. Didn’t let you figure out your feelings. What if you want to be with him? Will be reject you? Is he with someone else now? Did he end it because he was jealous of the pictures with you and Sebastian? You’re glad you have this place to run away to, and still Sebastian found you. He came for you. To make sure you were ok, and safe, and that you knew you were not alone. 

Today when you slept with Sebastian, you knew it wasn’t just sex for him. He was making love to you. He took his time and worshipped you; just like he used to. He made you feel loved and cherished, and you would lie if you said you didn’t enjoy every second of it. You know Seb loves you, even though he was shit at showing you before, he has shown it recently. But is it enough? Can you trust that he will continue down this path of being open, honest, and truthful with you?

When you called Chase, you thought you just needed closure, but after the conversation, you feel like you still need to consider your feelings for him. You have 2 men who you care for greatly. You have a broken heart that was caused by both of them, you need to protect. What is the right way?

You start heading off the beach toward the house. The sun has practically set and it was getting cold. You feel like you have made your decision, but you want to sleep on it and see if you still feel the same way in the morning. Then you need to get the courage to tell everyone involved. 

No matter the outcome, you are doing this for you. You are making your own decisions now. You control your own destiny.

--

Chapter 27 / Chapter 29

What do you think her decision is? Oh and don’t worry, we will find out what happened to Ale. 2 more chapters and this one is in the books! Feedback is appreciated.

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#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x y/n #seb

[luninosity]

Catching up on @evanstanweek ficlets again! Here’s Day 3, prompt: on set.

Read at AO3 here - 2,336 words of on-set love confessions, set during The First Avenger - or read on tumblr below!

#

Sebastian’s watching Chris. He often is, can’t seem to help the track of his gaze—can’t pull away from the magnet-tug that’s Chris Evans’ loud laugh and gesturing hands and philosopher’s eyes, and if he’s honest he doesn’t want to. Right now the low hazy grey lighting of the broken bar sits on Chris’s shoulders and turns him into a grieving supersoldier: a man hollowed out by loss, left with a gaping hole right through his chest.

 Chris is so good. So brilliant at emotion, at getting character. So thoughtful and so generous with his feelings, the kind of bravery that holds nothing back. He is Steve Rogers, through and through: a hero, shining blue and gold.

 Sebastian’s not that brave. Not that brilliant. Good at angst and pain, or dry humor, or intensity, maybe; but he’s in character for it. He does love people and stories, and he thinks he’s funny, sometimes, and he thinks he might want to be a writer, sometimes, and he can shove an entire pizza slice in his mouth when he’s comfortable around friends, but.

 It takes him a while. Exhaling. Stepping out. Speaking up. He wouldn’t say he’s shy, because he isn’t, not once he knows people. He’s just…not Chris Evans, who wears joys and vulnerabilities openly, with pride, unafraid.

 Sebastian looks at Chris, and aches with emotion, and says nothing, every day and every minute on this film so far.

 He’s technically done for the day, though he’s not at all done on this film; he’s spent the morning running around with Howling Commandos and being a young and terrified sergeant thrown into war. They’d filmed Bucky’s fall from the train the day before; Sebastian had honestly loved it. The emotion’d been easy: love and loyalty, throwing himself in to fight alongside the other half of his heart, the moment of sheer shock, a small but gloriously physical drop onto thick mats. They’d let him do that one, because it wasn’t a long fall and they needed to see his face. He hoped it’d been good; everyone seemed pleased, at least.

 He shifts weight, wishes he had a pillar or a wall to lean on. He watches Chris some more.

 They’d caught the stunned disbelief on Chris’s—Steve’s—face at the fall, yesterday. Chris is so incredible at nuance, at blazing emotions, even in a few-seconds-long shot. Sebastian had said, after, “That felt really good, that last take?” and had meant, I think you’re a genius, I think I want to work right next to you forever, I think I love you.

 Chris had gotten kind of pink-cheeked because Chris is too damn self-deprecating, and had said, “Oh—um, thanks, man, you too, I mean it felt good to me too, I mean we’re fuckin’ awesome, obviously,” and had nudged Sebastian’s shoulder, somewhere between a punch and a quick resting of a hand. “Craft services? They got blueberry bagels, someone said.”

 Chris, bagel-focused, clearly had not heard Sebastian’s internal monologue. And if he had, wouldn’t reciprocate.

 Which is fine, of course. Chris never needs to know, and Sebastian’s ridiculous emotions will calm the hell down and go away. Any day now. Sometime. Soon.

 But he’s watching Chris, and Chris is pretending to try to get drunk, pain visibly shredding him inside; Chris is Steve and Steve can’t believe it and has to believe it and wants to scream, to shout, to punch a hole through the world—

 The scene’s fantastic, of course.

 They get it in maybe three takes, rapid-fire, Chris laying out his heart for the watchers. His voice cracks; it’s getting rougher, the third time.

 They do it a couple times more for different close-ups. Sebastian takes a step closer, between takes. His boots—he’s changed; they’re his own boots—are louder than he’d recalled that morning; Chris looks over at the sound.

 And maybe Chris looks surprised, or relieved, or grateful, for a split second; maybe it’s all in Sebastian’s head, though, because the next second they’re right back into it, capturing Steve’s heartbreak.

 It’s a wrap for the scene, eventually. And Chris is done for a few hours too, though he’ll need to stick around; he’s got some close-ups to do inside a mock airplane, being bounced around, for what’ll be the big final self-sacrifice. Sebastian loves the heroism and pain of it; he’s always loved good writing, and he’s got a good feeling about this script and about this universe, which he’s a tiny part of now.

 Chris doesn’t get up right away. Just scrubs both hands over his face, shoulders slumped. Hayley Atwell’s gone off to talk to the director; Joe’s nodding, listening to her. Nobody’s checking on Chris.

 And that’s wrong, that’s wrong and not good and not right—Chris has just been hurting, the way that Chris hurts for the world, and Chris should never be hurting, not while Sebastian’s alive—

 Sebastian’s legs move before his brain makes a conscious decision. He’s picking his way across artistic rubble and taking a few running steps and putting a hand on Chris’s shoulder. “Hey.”

 Chris actually jumps a little, which isn’t the best start. “Oh! Uh, hey, hi, did you, um…have a question? About Steve and Bucky, or somethin’?” The Boston comes out extra-strong; it does that when Chris is feeling a lot, or tipsy, or simply exaggerating to make someone laugh.

 “No,” Sebastian says. “Or, well, yeah, we might want to talk about some of those flashback sequences, so we’re on the same page with emotion and all, but.” He licks his lips, realizes he’s doing it—a nervous habit, one he’s had for years—and stops. He can taste chapstick on his tongue. “I just. Wanted to. I don’t know. Are you…I mean, that looked like a lot.”

 “You…” Chris trails off. He’s looking at Sebastian’s face with astonishing intent; Sebastian would say even desperation, but that’d be ludicrous. Chris doesn’t have any reason to feel desperate about him.

 He tries, “I know you, um, like tea? Not coffee? We could go grab, um, tea. If you want.”

 “Tea,” Chris says, a little blankly. “But you like coffee.”

 Sebastian’s starting to get kind of worried, here. “I do, but you gave it up? We could maybe head back to your trailer, and you can, um, relax for a minute, and I can…try to make tea?”

 Chris stares at him some more.

 “Or not,” Sebastian throws in helplessly.

 “Yes,” Chris says. “Yes, yeah, yes—you—fuck. Okay. Jesus, Chris, get it together,” and he even shakes his head like a puppy flinging off water, and Sebastian kind of wants to grin and also scratch his tummy.

 Well. Maybe not scratch. He can think of better things to do with Chris’s stomach. Mostly involving his tongue.

 And he should absolutely not be thinking of that when Chris needs his help. He sticks out a hand. “To the end of the line? Or at least your trailer.”

 Chris looks at the hand, and then takes it, hauling himself up out of the chair. His fingers are large and strong and a little cold, and they squeeze Sebastian’s for just a little too long, as if wanting to hold on.

 No. Must be Sebastian’s heart thinking that. Wanting what he can’t have.

 He walks with Chris through behind-the-scenes set-ups and teardowns, props and people rushing to and fro, the corners of trailers and the shouts of movie-making going on. The sun’s warm, if light; the ground’s hard beneath his boots. He keeps stealing glances at Chris, who doesn’t seem too talkative. Sebastian’s poor overworked heart wants to take each sensation, each sight and taste and scent of this backstage moment, and fold them up safe deep inside.

 Chris is letting him help. That feels like sunshine.

 Chris’s trailer’s simple, unpretentious, unfussy; script copies and notes lie scattered around, and he’s got some weights, and some Disney-movie DVDs. Sebastian smiles, because that’s so very Chris: delight in the magic, always.

 Chris, still in costume, sits down on his sofa. He breathes out, and looks up. “Thanks.”

 “For what? How do I make tea with this?” He’s poking Chris’s electric kettle. He does sort of know how it works, in theory. His mother has an old-fashioned kettle; he’s got fancy coffee-making machinery; he should be able to combine all this knowledge. “Where is your tea?”

 “Seb,” Chris says. “I—hang on, does anyone actually call you Seb?”

 “Um. Not really? You can. I don’t mind.” He doesn’t. Chris uses last names often, an affectionate Boston-bro shorthand for friendship; Sebastian’s somehow always been Sebastian or Seb, in Chris’s voice. He’s wondered why, though he’s thought maybe Chris just doesn’t feel that close to him. Not deserving of the bro-status.

 “You don’t mind, or you don’t like it, and you’re being nice about it?”

 “I don’t mind,” Sebastian says, too quickly. “I like it.”

 “Sebastian,” Chris says.

 “Really,” Sebastian says. “Either. Whatever.”

 “Jesus,” Chris says, face back in his hands. “I’m sorry. I just…just tell me if I’m sayin’ something stupid, okay? Please.”

 “But you’re not!” Sebastian comes back over to the couch. That damn magnet again. Tugging his bones. “You’re not, it’s fine, we’re good, Chris. I swear. Really.”

 Chris doesn’t look up, so Sebastian drops to both knees, right there at Chris’s feet, and tries not to think of all the times he’s wanted to do exactly that. It’s easier not to think of it, right now, because he’s genuinely concerned.

 He peeks up at Chris’s face. “Hey. Kinda worried here. Not about you, I mean, about your kettle, it’s got all these buttons, it’s like a rocket ship, I’m afraid if I touch the wrong thing it’ll explode.”

 Chris snorts, almost a laugh, and then does look up. His eyes go right to Sebastian’s, so close and so blue; and then all at once he’s moving, leaning forward, one hand reaching out and cradling Sebastian’s head, and then—

 They’re kissing. Oh, god, they’re kissing, Sebastian on his knees in front of Chris and Chris bending down to claim him, hand in Sebastian’s hair—

 Chris kisses like reprieve, like the release of storms, like the dive into a heated pool on a chilly day: wholehearted, devoted, anxious to lick and taste and plunge into every part of Sebastian’s mouth. Sebastian, who’s been kissed before, has in fact never been kissed before, because no other kiss has ever been a kiss, compared to this.

 His knees dimly register the hardness of the trailer floor, and his neck’s at kind of an awkward angle, and Chris is still mostly in the Captain America suit. None of that matters. Nothing else matters at all, because Chris wants him and Sebastian’s whole self yearns for Chris, and Chris’s tongue and taste and tug at Sebastian’s hair are all white-hot gloriously perfect.

 Chris pulls back almost as abruptly. They’re both breathless; Chris whispers, “Oh, fuck…” and takes his hand out of Sebastian’s hair, but then touches Sebastian’s cheek, cups his face, as if unable to stop touching. “I…fuck…I didn’t…I’m so fucking sorry, I just…”

 “Why?”

 “What?”

 “Why’re you sorry?” Sebastian tips his head into Chris’s hand. “I’m not.”

 “You’re…not.”

 “Chris,” Sebastian says, and then runs out of words. He hopes Chris can see it, can read it, in his eyes. On his face. “Yes.”

 “Yeah?” Chris reaches out with the other hand too: framing Sebastian’s face now, tender and awestruck. “You mean that.”

 “I mean it,” Sebastian says. “But—”

 “Oh god,” Chris says, “I’ve fucked this up, haven’t I—”

 “No! No, just…are you okay? I mean, from earlier.” Somewhere amid the kissing his hands’ve ended up on Chris’s thighs; apparently they just want to be there, and now rub along Chris’s legs, soothing and caressing and learning all at once. “I mean, I wanted to—”

 “To help,” Chris groans. “You came over to help—because you’re the sweetest fucking person I know, god, you’re perfect, Seb, the nicest and the warmest and the best—and I fucking, Jesus, practically mauled you—”

 Sebastian cuts that anguished recrimination off by diving forward and getting his mouth back on Chris’s. After some in-depth affirmation, he breathes against Chris’s lips, “Don’t think you’re doing any mauling I don’t like.”

 Chris’s eyebrows go up.

 “Really,” Sebastian tells him.

 “Huh,” Chris says. “Huh. Okay. You—okay.”

 “No,” Sebastian says patiently. “Are you okay?”

 Chris stares at him, and then bursts out laughing. Mid-laughter, scoops Sebastian off the floor. Flops them both down across the sofa, holding on. “God, you’re incredible.”

 “The best, you said.”

 “And I mean it. You just make it all…feel better, kind of?” Chris strokes a hand down Sebastian’s back, over his t-shirt. “That’s what it was, earlier. Like…being Steve, losing Bucky, but that’s you, and all at once I was thinking about losing you, and I just felt like…like someone’d dropped me off a train, y’know? Like I’d never get up again.”

 “I’m here.” Sebastian wriggles against him. They fit together: bodies pressed close, every piece of them learning each other. He’s half atop Chris, but with one of Chris’s legs tangled through his. “I’m here.”

 “I know.” Chris rubs his back again. “And you were there, too. You were right there and I could look up and find you, and it was like I could remember how to breathe. And then you were here, asking about tea and looking at me like—and I just had to kiss you. I want to kiss you. Seb. Sebastian. God, I fuckin’ want—everything. I know it might get complicated, I know we’re in the middle of making a movie, but I can’t not want everything. Together. With you.”

 “Well,” Sebastian says, “good to know,” and stretches to kiss Chris again. It’s that simple, if not easy: the future’ll change, but it does that anyway, sprawling out in all sorts of directions. And he thinks it’ll be a good direction, with Chris at his side. “Because I want everything with you too.”

#evanstan #evanstan week #evanstan week 2021 #my fic #chris evans #sebastian stan #such fluff #love confessions

[mmimagine-40]

High School Reunion

Chris Evans x Reader

I saw @stargazingfangirl18​ post an august writing challenge and was really inspired by the dialogue and scenario prompts. Here’s the first one I’ll be posting a few more soon.

Prompts:Pretending to date & “Oh god. did I say that out loud?”

Warnings: Not really, just talk of having a dark past but not getting into what it was.

F/n - Friends name     O/F - Other or another friends name

“Please Chris!!! I’ll do anything!”, Y/n begged as she took the remote from him turning the TV off so he’ll give his full attention to her. “Y/n you're a famous actress. Your old classmates are already going to be jealous of you. Why do you need me to pretend to be your date?”Chris sighs, finally turning to her. “Cause I really want to rub it into their faces that I’m more successful and have a hot date, That's none other than formal Captain America. Please.”. “SO you think I’m Hot.”, Chris chuckles at her. Y/n glares at him , “ You know what Fine! I’ll go ask Sebastian then!”. Chris' smile fell a little bit but he kept it up. Truth be told he didn’t want to go cause he knows his feeling for her would only get deeper. He’s liked her since they first meet on one of the sets for the Avengers. They grew close fast. And his feelings grew faster, but was too scared to act on it. He didn’t want to lose her, so he thought his safes bet was to just stay friends with her. Which turned to basically best friends, to where she barged into his house begging him to go with her to her high school reunion as her fake date. Chris grabbed her arm as she went to get up and leave. “Wait!..No. I’ll go.”, Chris agrees not wanting to think about Sebastian and her all close. Even though he knows Seb wouldn’t do anything. He knows about Chris's feelings and has tried to get him to just finally ask Y/n out. “Really?!”, Y/n jumps on to the couch next to him. Chris sighs, dropping her arm as he nods. Y/n lets out a squeal as she pulls him in for a hug. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”. Chris couldn’t help but to close his eyes cherishing the way she feels in his arms. ‘What the fuck am I getting myself into.’, Chris thinks. As the hug lasts a bit longer as a wet nose nudges itself in between them. “My bad dodger. How dare we not pay attention to you.”, Y/n says pulling away from Chris to pet the fluff ball. Chris couldn’t help the laugh leave his lips watching as Dodger jumped up at Y/n licking her as she giggled and pet him. “It seems like he didn’t want our attention but your attention.”. Y/n lets out more giggles as dodger climbs up between them. “Can we take him with us,Please!”, Y/n says hugging dodger close both looking at him with puppy dog eyes. “No, Y/n. He would have to stay in a pet friendly hotel or airbnB. And i don’t want to leave him alone in an unfamiliar place.”, Chris says as he snatches the remote back from where she sat it and turns the TV back on. Y/n let out a whine , “Don’t worry dodger I’ll sneak you in my luggage.”. “I doubt you can fit him in.”, Chris shakes his head laughing at her. But it did melt his heart how close they were Y/n and Dodger both loved each other so much, it put a smile on Chris's face. Y/n gasp lightly hitting Chris , “are you calling him fat? Rude!”. Chris lets out a scoff shaking his head at her, “I can’t with you.”. “When is this reunion thing? When do we need to leave and how long are we staying?”. “It’s next Saturday , we will leave Friday after noon and get their late afternoon and we can chill. And I can show you round where I grew up. You can leave Sunday and head back home if you want but I’m going to stay an extra day or two to see my family and some old friends.”, y/n explains as she lays back and rests her feet on his lap. Chris just nods as he unties her shoes, “If you're going to put your feet on me could you at least take off your shoes first?”. Y/n just giggles as dodger cuddles up next to her, “Why? When I know you’ll take them off for me.”. He throws her shoes to the side, “I wonder why I’m friends sometimes.”. “I’ll stay with you. I’d feel bad about going with only for you to have to travel back alone.”, all he got back was a grumble that made him turn to her to see her eyes fluttering shut. Chris smiles as he watches her and dodger both fall asleep. He grabs a blanket and throws it over her and turns the TV down some. He tried watching whatever was on but he couldn’t help but let his eyes roam back over her . He cursed himself out, knowing that going with her might end with him broken even more not having her as his and only having to pretend to do all this stuff he really wants to do with her anyway. 

Saturday

Chris checks himself over once more in the mirror in their hotel room as Y/n gets ready in the bathroom. They got to her hometown yesterday at around 4 ish. They spent the day with Y/n showing Chris around and telling him stories of her growing up. Ending with dinner at this diner Y/n told him her grandma used to take her to every Sunday for dinner. That night his heart broke a little bit more when the lady you owned the shop came to talk to Y/n and asked her if he was her boyfriend. And laugh and say no that they were just friends. Chris tried to hide the heartbreak that flashed over his face. Not knowing not only the lady saw it but Y/n did too.  Chris sighs checking over his hair one last time before checking the time, “Come on Y/n we have to get going.”. “Okay , I’m almost done.”, Y/n says. She touches up her lipstick as she checks herself over once more. She sighs thinking over tonight. Somewhat regretting asking Chris to come. She asked him because he was the only person she trusted the most and knew would help her out. But as the got here hanging out and Mrs. Johnson asked about him, all those feelings she felt for coming rushing back. Feelings that she buried deep down. Scared that she would lose him, thinking he doesn’t feel the same. But the look on his face when she told Mrs. Johnson, they were just friends, gave her hope that he does. “Y/n?”Chris's voice cuts her out of her deep thoughts. Taking a final breath she headed out of the bathroom. “Okay, I’m ready.”, she says as she checks over her clutch making sure everything was in it. When she looked up she was met with Chris standing there , looking very handsome, mouth open as his eyes roamed up and down her. “Wow , You look absolutely beautiful.”. Y/n blushes looking down as she slips her heels on. “Thank you….Come on let's get this over with.”.  Chris laughed as he walked out of the room to the elevator, “If you didn’t want to go then why are we here? ….Aw were you just trying to spend time with me. Princess , if you wanted to have me to yourself all you had to do was ask.”. Chris pokes at her sides. Y/n lets out a small laugh , slapping his hand away. “You wish.”.  Chris laughs wrapping an arm around her waist pulling her closer to him. Y/n couldn’t help the light blush going over her cheeks as she melts into his hold. Chris bites his lip as he watches her melt into him. His heart starts beating faster with hope that maybe she does like him the way he does to her. The elevator dinging and the doors opening pulled him out of his thoughts as he guided her out to the front of the hotel. Outside waits an Audi R8. A valet guy walks over to them handing Chris the keys. Y/n stands there shocked as Chris opens the passenger's side door for her. “What? You said you wanted to make them all jealous, so I figured we should also ride in style.”. Y/n giggles walking over and getting in. Chris rushes over to the driver's side heading to the school. “It’s so pretty.” Y/n says running her hand over the inside, “Thank you Chris. For not only this but coming with me.”. “ It’s no problem, Can I ask why you make all your classmates jealous?”. Y/n looks down picking at her nails, “Well it’s not really wanting to make them jealous, I wanted to come and see some friends. But I didn’t want to go alone. I didn’t have the best high school experience. It was actually quite dark and I was bullied a lot. The few friends I did have, I only met them senior year. But other than that I went through the years with no friends and no one really talked to me. Even though it’s been years and I've come successful and all this, I’m still a bit scared to see all those people again. … Sorry I know it sounds stupid.”. Chris drives with one hand as he reaches over and grabs her hand. He slightly squeezes her hand comforting her. “It’s not. I understand and I’m here for you.”. Y/n smiles at him, squeezing his hand back.

It took only a couple more minutes to get to the school. Y/n looked up at the building that hasn’t changed one bit. A place that brought a lot of plain that she just wants to forget. Right now is not the time. Now is to show those people what she has become and how she made it in life. It sounds a bit rude but after everything she’s been through she feels like she deserves to drag a bit. About her career , her house, her life, her man. She shakes her head reminding herself that Chris isn’t hers he’s just here to be a good friend. “You okay?''Chris asks, grabbing her chin and making her look at him. Y/n nods, “Yeah let's do this. I gave a feeling we will only have an hour or 2 before the Paparazzi come to get pictures.”. Chris smiles at her getting out and rushing over to her side and opening the door for her. Y/n could already feel the stairs of people watching her step out of the Audi. She couldn’t hold back the smirk on her face as Chris wraps his arm around her waist as they make their way to the gym where the reunion is being held. All around were old classmates who made fun of her with their jaws open as they watched her walk into the gym. Some didn’t think she would show being a big star now and no one expected to see her walk in on the arm of Chris Evans. As they walk in Y/n spots one of her friends , the other sadly couldn’t make it. She squeals as she grabs Chris' hand dragging him other to them. “F/n!”, she basically screamed, rushing over to her hugging her. “Y/n!”, she yelled back hugging her. “I thought you weren’t coming?”. “Yeah sorry I had to keep it quiet with the paparazzi and everything.”, Y/n explains. “Although we might be here for a bit before having to leave. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone already announced us being here.”. “Us?”, F/n ask. “Oh sorry” , Y/n pulls away from her, “F/n this is Ch-”. “Chris Evans! Shit Y/n you really did make it!”, F/n jokes lightly punching her. Her and Chris laugh as he stands behind her and rests an arm around her. “I’m sorry , It’s just my son who is a huge fan of Captain america.. I’m f/n by the way.”,  she says sticking her hand out to him. Chris smiles, shaking her hand ,”It’s okay , I totally understand. We are here for a bit. We should grab lunch or something, I’d love to meet the little guy.”. F/n laughs shaking her head. “Oh no I couldn’t ask you guys to step into your schedule.”. Y/n reaches out grabbing her hand, “F/n it's okay its why we are staying a bit. I want to overdose Chris to you and O/F and my family of course. Pulse would take Jack's mind off of everything for a bit.”. F/n pulled Y/n in for another hug thanking her. They pull away and she wipes her face, “Wow he must be a keeper if you want to introduce him to O/F.”. They both laugh. Chris wraps both arms around Y/n ,” Should I be scared?”. “Probably , O/f is the crazier protective one out of us.”, F/n explains. “Oh great.”, Chris joked, sending both women into a laugh fit. After they clams down and started talking a bit , “I’m going to go get a drink you want one?”, he turned to Y/n who nodded and said please. He turned to f/n who thanked him but said she was good. They watched as he walked over the drink stand. “Wow, Y/n! That man is so in love with you!”, F/n whistles. Y/n laughs shaking her head. Her heart a bit wishing it was true. But Chris was just doing that stuff to make it believable. “I mean the way he looks at you. Even when you're not looking , would make anyone believe in soulmate or true love.”, she says. Y/n bits her lip looking down , “I don’t know if that’s how he feels but that’s how he makes me feel.”. F/n turns to her smirking , “ Does this mean Jacks getting a little cousin soon.”. Y/n gasp swatting at her. F/n’s smile falls as she looks ahead to where Chris went. “Oh no Jessie is going up to him.”. Y/n’s face fell as she looked over to see Jessie , one of the people who made her life a living hell, talking to Chris. Jealous stringed at her. She trusted Chris. He wouldn’t do anything like that to hurt her. What tug at her was the thought that kept screaming at her that he wasn’t really hers. A small smile makes its way on her face as she watches Chris deny her and walk back off to them. He hands her drink. With his free hand he wraps it around her pulling her into and kissing her cheek. Y/n tried holding  back her laugh as she watched Jessie's face fall in shock. But F/n didn’t hold it back. “Oh that was great.”. Causing Y/n to finally break. The cooled down as F/n got a call exposing herself. Y/n rested her head on Chris shoulder looking up at him. “Thank you for that. It was great to see her face like that.”, she giggles. Chris just smiled, shaking his head, “Oh the things I do for you. I wonder sometimes why I do.”. “Cause you love me.”, y/n flutters her eyes at him giggling. “More than you’ll ever know”,Chris says quietly while taking a drink. But Y/n style couches it. Her face falls as her heart starts beating every faster , “What?”. Chris looks down at her shocked, “Oh god, did I say that out loud?”. Y/n nods pulling away to fully turn to look at him. “Do you mean it?”. Chris sighs cursing himself out. He knew he would have to tell her at some point but not right now. “Yes, I’m sorry Y/n. I don’t want to ruin what we have, But I’m in love with you so much I feel like I’m going crazy. I understand if you don’t feel the same and if y-”. Y/n cut him off pulling him down to kiss her. He wraps his arms around her pulling her as close as he can kissing her back. They pull away but not far. Y/n keeps her hands on his face as they rest their forehead on each other. “I love you too, Chris.”. Chris smiles as he pulls her in kissing her again. This one is getting more heated. He pulled away grabbing her hand. “Come on lets get out of here.”.  “Wait I need to say bye to F/n!”, she squeals as he pulls her to the doors. “Just text her, she’ll understand plus we’ll see her later.”. He pulls her closer to him as they rush out the doors past the props showing up to the car. Rushing to the hotel. 

Y/n smiled at herself in the mirror taking in her appearance in the white gown. Thinking about that night their two idiot self's finally told each other how they feel. Now here she stands in a beautiful white dress about to marry the man of her dreams in front of all her friends and family. Smiling, she grabs the final things in her shoes. f/n and O/f both made her wait to put them on last but she didn’t know why and didn’t argue. She opens the box and pulls out the simple but beautiful shoes. Her eyebrows scrunch in confusion as she sees something on the bottoms. Turning them around she chokes on tears as she sees the writing on them. “From friend to best friend to my love and now I will get to call you the best thing I can. My wife.”.

@stargazingfangirl18 @navybrat817  I hope you guys enjoy this!-MM 

#shamelesshoesforchris #Chris Evans #Chris evans imagines #Chris Evans x reader #Steve rogers #captain america #captain america imagines #Chris #Evans #august writing challenge #avengers #avengers imagines #Steve rogers imagines #chris evans fanfiction #Ransom drysdale #Ransom drysdale imagines #andy barber #andy barber imagines #imagines #Chris imagines #evans imagines #High school Reunion #MM

[nooneelsecomesclose17]

I’ll leave what I’m chasing - part 6

This is the part that kind of started the whole fic. I wanted a fic where Sarah went up against Chas. It’s kind of got out of hand, but here it is. I’m the most nervous about this part!

(AO3 link)

“I’ve been thinking.” Sarah announces after their food has arrived. 

“Always a worry.” Robert snorts back a laugh at Aaron’s reply, his husband innocently eating his meal as if he hadn’t spoken.

When they’d arrived the pub had fallen into silence and he still felt uncomfortable, as if everyone was watching, judging. Aaron’s hand had been firmly in his until their food had arrived and that had helped, but now he can’t help notice Chas’s glare in his direction from where she’s standing talking to Sam and Lydia. Sam, bless him, had raised the glass he was holding in his direction when they’d walked in but Chas had said something so he’d put his head down and that was it.

A few people had come over to the table and said hello, some he knew, some he didn’t, but he’d plastered on his fake smile and made polite conversation, mind whirling with thoughts of what they thought of him. He wished he didn’t care so much, wished he could ignore the looks, the whispering. Chas had let Bob serve Aaron and he’d seen the look he’d given his Mum, a mix of disappointment mixed with indifference and he’d just felt bad about the whole thing all over again. If it weren’t for Aaron he would’ve left by now.

“Rob, you listening?”

“What? Sorry.”

“I was just saying, your sister is back next week, so I was thinking, how about having Ana christened?”

“Why?” He’s trying not to think about seeing Vic again, they’d not exactly parted on the best terms and he couldn’t help but feel this trip back to their Gran’s villa in Spain for a couple of months had been timed just so she could avoid him despite his Mum’s assurances that it wasn’t

“Because it’s nice, and it’d show everyone that you’re a family.”

“What happened to not caring what everyone thinks?” 

“Nothing wrong with showing them you’re settled though is there. Besides, like I said it’ll be nice to have a family occasion, and don’t tell me you won’t like the chance to show her off. You could always have Seb christened too if you wanted as Rebecca never got round to it.”

“Do you get a deal, two for the price of one?”

“Charles might actually offer that.” He looks across at Aaron, who surprisingly looks interested in the whole idea.

“Who’s Charles?”

“The new vicar.”

“New vicar? What happened to Harriet?” He hates this, hates that he doesn’t know the people in the village any more, that’s he’s totally disconnected from everything that’s been happening.

“It’s a long story. Charles is ok though, he and his son lived next door for a couple of months until they found a house in the village. You’ll like them.”

“So, the christening? Shall I talk to him about dates? The weather’s nice, we can have people back to the house after.”

“What’s this?” Robert’s annoyed that he jumps at the sound of Chas’s voice as she appears at the table. She makes a show of clearing their glasses but he’s not convinced, he’s sure she’s just being nosy. He sees Aaron look at Sarah, and he’s willing her not to answer. He knows her better though, there’s a glint in her eye.

“We’re talking about a christening for Ana and Seb.” She tells her and turns right back to them, effectively dismissing Chas and a part of him wants to laugh.

“Nice. Where are they then?”

“With their Grandma. Less likely to hear things they shouldn’t with her.” He can’t help himself, hopes Aaron doesn’t mind, the hand on his knee says he doesn’t.

“Are you going to let him speak to me like that?” He catches his Mum’s look, telling him to leave it to Aaron.

“He’s not saying anything that isn’t true, Mum. What do you think it would’ve done to Seb to hear those things you were saying? It was bad enough that I heard them.”

“I didn’t say anything that wasn’t true and you know it. Maybe I’m not the one that needs keeping away from them.” He’s not quick enough to stop Aaron jumping to his feet.

“Don’t! Those children are loved and safe and that’s all any kid needs.”

“With him as a father?”

“That’s enough.” Aaron’s voice is quiet, almost a whisper. “I told you I won’t have you talking like that. Come on Robert, let’s go home. Sarah, I’m sorry, I know you wanted to try and have a nice dinner but I’m not staying here and listening to this.”

“Of course not love. You go on ahead, I’ll collect the children from Diane and bring them home.”

Robert follows him, almost in a dream, still a little stunned. It’s not like Aaron hasn’t stood up for him before but even so it’s still a surprise to him when it happens. 

“Aaron, wait!” Chas’s shrill shout makes him wince and he waits for Aaron to go back like he would have done once upon a time, but he doesn’t, he holds onto his hand a little tighter if anything.

“Ignore her. We’ll get the kids and when they’re sleeping we’ll curl up in front of a film.”

They’re halfway home when he realises he’s left his jacket, assures Aaron he can fetch it himself and tells him to pick the film while he waits. The pub is quieter when he gets inside and as he pushes the door open he can hear why.

“...does whatever he wants. He can’t go around hitting people with shovels and expect to get away with it. I’m just looking out for the children.”

“No you’re not. You’re just holding a grudge you’ve had for years. You never wanted Aaron with Robert, and ok maybe he made mistakes in the past, but not this. They should’ve given him a medal for it, not locked him up.” It makes him feel warm inside hearing his Mum defend him. She always has, but for so long no one else did and now he knows he has Aaron who will always be there.

“He hurt someone!” He winces at how high her voice gets. He should leave, go home to Aaron, but something stops him, something makes him want to hear what she says.

“A rapist who had harassed my daughter for weeks, who taunted Robert to the point of breaking. I’m just sorry I wasn’t holding the shovel myself.” He almost laughs because he knows if she’d been in the village she would’ve done the same as him. It had only been Vic and him assuring her she should stay where she was that stopped her coming back.

“You can’t just take the law into your own hands.”

“Well that’s rich coming from a Dingle! Do I need to point out to you that you sent your brother round to deal with your ex? That you graffitied his car? I always knew you were a hypocrite Chas Dingle, but I never realised quite how much of one you are.”

“You don’t know anything about any of that. You weren’t even here back then!”

“No, I wasn’t, but I still have friends here. It’s really no skin off my nose what you do, but if you don’t want to lose your son and your grandchildren then you’d better do something about your behaviour towards Robert because Aaron’s not going to change his mind”

“Not with you and your son poisoning Aaron against me.”

“Oh Chas, he doesn’t need us to do that, you do a pretty good job yourself. If anything Robert wants you both to make up. This is all Aaron, because despite what you and Paddy think he’s an adult and fully capable of making his own decisions and has been for a very long time.”

“How dare you! You’ve only been here a few months and you think you can come in here and lecture me.”

“Oh I dare. I dare because I’ve talked to him, because unlike you, I’ve been there for him when Ana wouldn’t sleep, when Seb played up because he didn’t understand where his Daddy was, when he just wanted his husband. Where were you?”

“Where was Robert more like. Aaron wouldn’t have been in that state if he’d not cut him off. Left him alone to deal with a newborn baby and his son. In my book you don’t do that to the people you love.”

“Well, I guess you’d know more about that than me. At least when I left my husband my kids knew where I was.”

“Mum.” He’s quiet, but she hears him because the pub is quiet, too interested in the show that’s playing out in front of them. He has to stop them before it turns into something more ugly that they can’t come back from. Not because of him, he can’t handle it. The rest of the customers are agog at them and he’s surprised no one is trying to defend Chas. There’s a couple more Dingles in, but even they’re keeping out of it which surprises him. “Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry love, but it needed saying.” She leaves Chas standing there, fury all over her face and joins him at the door. “Am I in trouble?

He wants to hug her if he’s honest with himself but he doesn’t, just wants to get out of the place. When they’re out on the street he does, holding on that little bit longer. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t say anything that isn’t true.”

“Did leave him though, didn’t I? She was right about that. I left him, and I left Seb.”

“She’s got no room to be lecturing anyone on leaving a child. Or anything else for that matter.”

“How much did I miss out on?” He links his arm in hers as they make their way to pick up the children.

“Oh not much.”

“Oh great. You really went to town didn’t you?”

“I gave as good as I got, yes. Robert, I’m not going to stand by and let her say those things. I’ve not been here all the time I should have been, I’ve a lot to make up for.”

“And you’re doing that by going toe to toe with Chas Dingle? You know, you really don’t have anything to make up for Mum.” He pecks her cheek. “Thank you anyway.”

#robron fic #look away if you love chas #i promise there'll be some actual aaron and robert stuff soon #but sarah has all this stuff to say and she won't be quiet

[achubbydumpling]

Alright, I just finished Destroyer (2018) and a bottle of wine and I have some thoughts about this movie and lots of thots about Chris. Why am I writing this? Why not! I love reading other people's opinions, so here are mine.

Let's get into it!

(if you just want ~800 words of chubby kink brain rot skip to the +++ under the cut)

Thoughts and semi-serious movie review

(I don't know nothing about movies, so this is very subjective, but I'd love to hear your opinions, if you disagree with anything or just have something to add)

First, I went into this film completely blind. I had no idea what this film was about, I only knew that Seb was in it.

It starts off promising. Alcoholic detective who knows more than she lets on, an unidentified body and an old antagonist from our detectives past reappears. Plot is being set up, we get to know Erin, the story advances at a good pace and then 15 minutes in everything grinds to a halt.

The movie is very good at building tension, but has trouble reaching satisfying conclusions. Almost every scene just fizzles out into an anticlimactic or abrupt end. The characters seem static, with no real development apart from a few pieces sprinkles throughout, which makes emotional scenes feel unearned.

The movie drags on through it's 2h runtime. By the end I was honestly wishing for Erin to just die already, which probably wasn’t the intention with this character-driven film. We’re told that she is consumed by anger, but to me she just seemed bored most of the time. Like she was trudging from plot point to plot point.

Most of the characters in this movie felt like less than side characters, even Chris, who’s death is the inciting incident for Erin wanting to get revenge on Silas. Arturo was the only other character that stood out to me, but he only really got to shine in the Russian Roulette scene.

The flashback scene at the end was probably the best part of the movie. Not just because we finally got to see Chris for a bit longer, but because Erin finally has someone to play off of and even though she still seems quite stiff in her acting, this is in my opinion her best performance in the movie. 2/5 stars

"omg Sebastian Stan is so hot in this movie"-review

And now let's talk about Seb's look in this movie, because damn does he look good. Stuff I liked in no particular order:

the beard in the flash backs

the shaved head in the less far back flash backs

smoking. doing drugs! cocaine!!

rings

fake dating?? yes please (giving me ideas)

Seb's fucking silent movie acting, hmm jaw clenching and intense staring (his line delivery wasn't the best in this, but it might've been the phrasing)

"Nice ass." "It's all yours."

the grey sweater

rings

Chris' body language being all loose and open, going with where Erin pulls him, draped all over her back, arm around her waist

hnng Erin pulling down the big sweater and showing of his chest-shoulder-collarbone

+++ (weight gain, belly kink and more feedist nonsense from here on out) +++

that shirt is pretty big on him though, isn't it?

and his jeans are way too loose as well, "Nice ass"?, yeah, it'll be real nice with about fifty more pounds on him, when those jeans look painted on

he could maybe hide his double chin under the beard, but his love handles would be peeking out under the hem of that grey sweater, his belly creasing his waist band where it hangs over it, his lower belly hanging out as soon as he moves his arms and he constantly has to pull his shirt down, otherwise it works its way up until the entire spare tire around his hips is on display

idk if everyone is just short, but Seb looks so tall in this movie, imagine he's so tall that he starts out at 230lbs looking jacked, all brawn, functional strength, low insertion muscles, all stretched out, y'know?

and then he packs on weight, still working, still moving, but putting half the time he used to spend exercises, into eating, he eats what you put in front of him and then some

it's not like it's a burden, eating until he's full and then pushing himself a bit further, but your encouragement and the obvious lust on your face whenever you watch him eat, is an added bonus

when Erin suggests he steal the money with her, he refuses, he's got you and you'd never ask him to risk his life on the off-chance that you might be able to pull this off, so he gets out, back to being an FBI agent, back to you, and finally back to eating what he wants

ohhh he'd thought when you first explained to him how you liked bigger guys that he'd be doing this just for you, settling down, putting on a few pounds, it was probably inevitable anyway, but once you started, once he actually gained weight, he liked it, he really liked it

Chris caught himself sneaking his hand under his sweater to play with the tiny bit of fat that was starting to hang over his waistband

he'd always been confident, but feeling heavier made him feel more powerful, instead of rushing everywhere he took his time, long, unbroken strides, nothing could shake him

he was an excellent fighter, not easily swayed, but they take him out of the field when he gains more weight, he gets out, gets a job as private security instead and keeps gaining

300lbs and he's finally getting a real belly, but you could still see some muscles moving under his ribs when you trailed your fingers over them, he's tall, so all the weight has lots of places to settle

350lbs and his legs are straining aganist his jeans, the fabric between his legs thinning from the constant friction, looking at him you'd guess he was 250lbs, maybe 280lbs

but you didn't care too much about him looking smaller than he was, because when he got on top of you and let you feel all the weight you'd put on him, how heavy he was and you were just struggling to catch your breath with 350lbs of absolute beef cake on top of you, you couldn't really form a single coherent thought

it didn't take long for him to reach 400lbs, and you were all over it, you kept him pinned to the couch by the weight of his stuffed belly every night, riding one of his thick thighs until he'd finally digested just enough, that he could think about anything besides the dull ache in his stomach, you could see his eyes lose some of that hazy fog, his body going from boneless exhaustion to pressing his thigh up into you, matching your rhythm

as much as you loved Chris weighing you down, you had learned the positive sides of being on top of him over the last 50lbs he's gained, he was an impressive man, quietly commanding every room he was in, but you could make him fall apart, come undone beneath you and make him give up all this control

he didn't just do it for you, when you saw his eyes flutter shut and his jaw work to deal with all those overwhelming sensations, you could see him get lost in it, going elsewhere and yet giving himself up even more completely to you

he'd beg for you to touch him, to fuck him, to "please make me come, baby", even though he could easily take all that he wanted from you, he only ever asked for it and how happily you gave it all to him

lotsa text, but he's just too hot in this movie, like you can just imagine undressing him and finding a nice little belly under all those baggy clothes

#rambles #it's almost 5 am #some of this might not make sense but #I love reading this ramble-y type stuff from other people #maybe there's one or two of y'all that do too #might talk about the devil all the time? #write something about Sheriff Bodecker

[rickybowensfever]

The Smoothie - HSMTMTS SickFic

I’ve had this story brewing in my head and saved for a couple months on my desktop, so figured I’d finish it up. 

Set during Season 1 - Ricky gets sick when E.J. gives him a smoothie out of revenge to become the lead in High School Musical. But, Nini doesn't believe him. Read the story on AO3. 

Opening night was just four days away and flu season had struck the students at East High as Spring sprung.

Sniffles, coughs, and tissues, oh my.

Miss Jenn constantly had her students applying hand sanitizer every five minutes. “Hand sanitizer check!” she would shout with the clear bottle in her hands demanding the students to put out their hands.

Backstage, Ricky stood around chatting with the other cast members as Seb and Carlos performed Bop to the Top when EJ approached him holding an orange-colored smoothie in his hand.

“Hey, Ricky!” he exclaimed walking toward the boy.

“Nini asked me to bring this to you. It’s Strawberry Mango, she wanted you to try it” EJ explained him, handing the boy the cold orange drink.

Ricky furrowed his brow, suspicion sinking in. He stood frozen holding the cold drink wondering where Nini was. She hadn’t shown up to rehearsal yet, but he had just seen her in fifth period.

“Alright, thanks” Ricky said grabbing the smoothie from his hand and took a long sip. He let out a refreshing Ahh after pulling away from the delicious beverage.

 Then, EJ ran on stage after hearing a faint call of his name from Ms. Jenn.

Wow. It’s pretty good, Ricky thought to himself and pulled out his phone to text Nini about it.

R: Hey, thanks for the smoothie! Really good.

N: What smoothie?

R: The strawberry mango one u got me?

N:  ??? I didn’t get you a smoothie.

Ricky looked up from his phone in confusion. Why would EJ do that?

R: Oh? EJ gave it to me, and he said you got it for me.

N: What? Ricky, I didn’t even have a smoothie. Are you pranking me or something?

 Ricky threw his hands in the air in distress and locked his phone, leaving Nini’s message on read. Now, he was more confused than ever.

“Ricky! On stage now! Come and get some hand sanitizer!” Ms. Jenn shouted through the auditorium.

 The Next Day

Ricky woke up in his bed shivering and covered in sweat. His throat felt raw, his nose was congested, his body ached, and his head was pounding.

This can’t be happening, he thought to himself , covering his face with his cold pillow.

Then, there as a knock on his door.

“Ricky! Get up. You’re going to be late for school” his father said as he opened the door to see his son lying in bed. 

Mr. Bowen studied his son for a second before he asked, “You okay?”.

Ricky coughed into his fist which just made his throat hurt more.

“No. Not really” he croaked, wincing at the pain in his throat. 

His father immediately walked over to his son’s bed to feel his sweaty forehead for a fever.

“Wow, you’re really warm. You stay home today. I’ll call the school and tell Ms. Jenn you won’t be at rehearsal” Mr. Bowen told his son.

Ricky scrunched his face in annoyance.

“No! Dad, I can’t miss rehearsal. We open in three days” he cried, wincing at the pain talking gave him.

“Then, you have two days to feel better and you have an understudy. I’m sure Ms. Jenn wouldn’t want you coming in this sick, bud” Mr. Bowen said frowning at his son.  

Ricky groaned and threw his head back down into his pillow.

“EJ” he muttered.

“What was that?”

“Nothing, I was just trying to clear my throat,” Ricky said and curled up onto his side, hugging his pillow.

What felt like hours later, Ricky woke from a deep sleep.

“Hey, sorry to wake you. I just wanted to let you know I’m working from home today to take care of you. I know I’m not your Mom and she’s probably way better at this. But I’m trying” Mr. Bowen told his son as he held a bottle of red Gatorade in his hand and two blue capsules. 

Ricky smirked at his Dad’s statement. Since his Mom left, his Dad was trying his best under the circumstances she had given them. He did wish his Mom was here, just like the thousands of other times he wished for her to come walking in the door but never did.

“Thanks, Dad” Ricky croaked and took a swig of Gatorade, chasing it down with the pills.

“Not a problem, bud. Also, I found the only thermometer in our house. It took me a while. I texted your Mom, but she didn’t answer” he said frantically holding up an ear thermometer in the air.

Ricky changed positions in his bed to let his dad put the thermometer in his left ear.

“A little high, but nothing we can’t manage. Get some rest and keep drinking this” he pointed to the Gatorade bottle on the nightstand beside him, “so you don’t get dehydrated” Mr. Bowen explained before leaving his son.

Ricky’s phone buzzed.

1 Notification from Nini

1 Notification from We’re All in This Together GC  

Nini: Where are you?? We have an Environmental Science test today. We were going to study together :/

Ricky: Home sick. Sorry

Nini: Ricky. Are you serious? Opening Night is three days away. Did you even listen to Miss Jenn’s rules?

 What was Nini even saying? Why would he get sick on purpose? He was really starting to like this acting thing.

Ricky: Yeah, I listened to her. Idk how I got sick, but I feel like shit ok?  

Then, the message turned to read. Ricky threw his phone onto his sheets, rested his head onto his pillow, and drifted back to sleep.  

 “Ricky?” a petite voice called to him.

He woke up in a fog feeling groggy trying to make out the person in his room.

“Huh?” he called out to the voice and wiped the sweat off of his forehead.

 Nini stood at the end of his bed.

“Nini? What are you doing here?” he asked, panicked.

“Your texts worried me. I’m going back to rehearsal, I just needed to pick up a few things at home. So, I stopped by” she said smiling softly.

 Ricky coughed into his fist and sniffled.

Nini frowned.

“You sound awful” she mentioned.

“Thanks,” Ricky said sarcastically taking a sip of his warm Gatorade.

“I think E.J. got me sick,” he told her putting the hood of his sweatshirt over his curls.

“What? You’re not serious. E.J. wouldn’t do that” Nini refuted putting a hand on her hip.

Ricky shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know? But I felt fine before he gave me that smoothie. Then, I woke up like this!” he said emphasizing his sickly body.

“It’s flu season. It could just be a conscience. Anyway, I really have to get back to practice. But I’ll be back later” she said standing by his bedside, frowning at his condition.  

“No, I don’t want you catching this. If both of us are sick, there’s no show” the boy expressed in between coughs.

“Ricky. This isn’t my first rodeo! I know how to prepare for flu season during Hell Week” she exclaimed. “Get some rest and I’ll see you later” smiling back at him before exiting the room.

“Bye,” he said and checked his phone filled with notifications from friends and crewmates and Miss Jenn wishing him a speedy recovery.

Maybe: E.J.

Hey Ricky. It’s E.J. Heard you’re not feeling well. Hope you feel better soon and don’t worry about a thing! – Your Understudy

Ricky groaned at the message which just caused him to cough again.

 Then, his door opened again, and his Dad stood in the doorway.

“Hey, bud. How ya doing?” Mr. Bowen asked.

“I’ve been better” Ricky replied snarkily.

“You’re probably due for another dose of medicine” he suggested holding up two new blue tablets and a package of Saltines.

Ricky nodded, silently thanking his father, and took the tablets with the remaining liquid in his Gatorade bottle.

The last time Ricky woke up, his guitar was strumming.

He had to be delirious at this point, he thought to himself. After dreaming he was running around East High trying to make it to the stage but finding a dead-end every time, he was stressed enough.

He rubbed his eyes and saw a silhouette sitting in the corner of his room on his rolling desk chair.  Nini Salazar coming into focus.

“Hey!” she sang softly, putting the acoustic guitar down against the wall.

“Nini. What are you doing here?” Ricky asked, panicked, clutching his comforter tightly.

“It’s okay! I just came to apologize” she said, sitting closer to the boy, now on the edge of his bed.

Ricky shook his head, confused.

“For what?” he asked her.

Nini laughed, “For defending E.J.” she began.

Ricky rose his eyebrow at her. “Today, when I got to rehearsal he said, he was glad the smoothie worked!” she exclaimed, “I couldn’t believe it! I’m so disappointed in him. That’s not the E.J. I know and loved,” she said, slapping the bed as she explained the situation to him.

Ricky winced as the bed shook.  His head throbbing as she explained her conversation with E.J. more.

“I told you,” Ricky snickered hoarsely.

“Don’t strain your voice” Nini said frowning at the state of his voice.

He shrugged at her and yawned.

“So, I’m sorry that I didn’t believe you,” she told him, smiling softly.

Thanks, Ricky mouthed to the girl.

“You’re welcome. Now, you rest up because we have a show to do! And I’m not doing this with E.J.” she said, smirking.

Ricky returned the smirk and got settled back into his bed and closed his eyes.

The light went out in his room and the sound of the door shut.

#hsmtmsts #sickfic #ricky bowen #ricky bowen sick #ricky x nini #ej caswell #sickfic writer #sickfics #hsmtmsts sickfic #hsmtmts season 1

[whitewolfmoving]

Boston Burning Part Two

Explosion

Summary: Over breakfast, Nika recounts the events of the fire for Chris; afterwards, he reminds her that she is anything but useless.

Warnings: description of fire emergency, description of fire-related injuries, description of being trapped in a burning building, slight angst, description of non-sexual nakedness

Word Count: 2218

A/N: Chapter two is here! I had so much fun writing this chapter and developing Chris and Nika's relationship. For the sake of this part of the series, Chris and Nika's dynamic is just as important as Sebastian and Nika's dynamic. Happy reading!

Waking up in Boston the next morning was a breath of fresh air for Nika. While she couldn't get her mind off of the fact that she was out of work until her body healed, she had accepted the fact that she was pretty much on a paid vacation. And Chris had upgraded from his small studio apartment in downtown Boston to a fully furnished three-bedroom condo close to the firehouse since her last visit, so at least she wasn't putting him out.

It'd been days since she last talked to her brother, and Nika was more than content to continue her stay in Boston without his hovering. They had always been close, but Sebastian could be a bit overbearing at times, which was the last thing she needed right now. She wouldn't feel guilty for not checking in with him — she was a big girl,  she didn't have anything to feel guilty for...

The scent of fresh waffles wafted through the air, finally pulling Nika out of bed. She stretched, grabbed her hearing aids from the nightstand next to her bed and shoved them in the pocket of her pajama pants. No use putting them in before she was ready, sounds of the early morning were a little too  overwhelming for her and Chris knew sign anyway.

"Hey, there she is! Morning, Honeybee," Chris exclaimed once Nika had made her way downstairs. He pointed to his ear when she sat at the island across from him, she shook her head. He gave her a knowing smile. "I wondered when breakfast would get you out of bed."

"Not just any breakfast… I only get out of bed this early for your waffles." Nika laughed, stealing a strip of crispy bacon from the platter.

"How are you feeling? Sleep okay?" Leave it to Chris to make sure she was as comfortable as possible with her arm in a sling and bandages inhibiting movement even if it weren't.

She shrugged. "Slept okay for the most part, your guest bed is really comfortable. My wrist is sore but manageable, my shoulder and chest hurt more than I care to say."

Chris frowned. Nika was always an unstoppable, immovable force to be reckoned with; for her to admit to being in pain, even a little bit, things had to be worse than she'd originally let on. He took the last waffle off of the iron and set it on the platter with the others, then nodded to the dining table. "Go sit. I'll bring juice and your meds. Let's eat, then we'll see about relieving some of the discomfort on your chest and shoulder, okay?"

Nika had to hand it to him, Chris's hovering was much different than Sebastian's. Her brother often forgot that she was a grown woman who could take care of herself, that she didn't need him constantly looking out for her every second of the day like he had when they were kids. But Chris opted for a more hands off approach to everything — unless she outright stated that she needed help, he let her do her own thing for the most part. Coming to Boston was definitely the right choice.

As they sat down at the table, Nika slipped both hearing aids in and turned them on, setting the volume lower than usual since it would just be her and Chris. She took a deep breath and sighed, adjusting first thing was always the worst part. Once the ringing in her ears died down to where it was bearable, she smiled up at him.

"Why do you always make waffles and bacon my first day here?" she asked, dragging a strip of bacon through the syrup on her plate and plopping it in her mouth.

"Why do you always defile my prize-winning bacon like that?" Chris countered, scrunching his nose up in mock disgust.

"Because you make that face right there," she said, giggling around a mouthful of warm waffles.

"Because you smile that smile right there," he replied sincerely.

They'd had that conversation a billion and one times before, and each time their answers were the same.

They sat in silence for a few moments before Chris waved to get her attention. The distant look in her eyes told him that she'd been somewhere else, and he could already guess where. He poured a glass of orange juice and handed it over to her along with the medication she needed to take that morning.

"Do you wanna tell me about it?"

"Would you believe me if I said I don't?"

"Nope. You forget I know you just as well as Seb does. So, come on, out with it."

Nika exhaled deeply. "Dispatch routed Squad, Truck, and Engine to a four-story house fire on Main. By the time we got there, you just knew we only had enough time to get everyone out before the flash. Mackie and Nova went to vent the back and clear downstairs, I went up to the top. The main floor was clear, the second floor had two. Mackie got them out and I kept going to the third floor, it was also clear. Finally reached the top floor and called out, the smoke is so thick by this point that I can't see not two feet in front of me."

"Why didn't you wait for Mack or Seb?" Chris asked. He could tell where the story was headed before Nika had even started speaking again; a burning desire to kick the ass of whoever had done this to her welled up in his veins, but he held it at bay so she could finish.

"Sebastian was off for the night. We had to clear the building before the ceiling came down, Chris. What else was I supposed to do?" She wished he wouldn't look at her like that. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and continued. "I cleared the front bedrooms, the nursery, the bathroom. I kept calling out but no one responded. I made it all the way down the hall, the heat was unbearable, the smoke was dark and bitter. I could see just enough, and I only had one more room to clear when Chief Jackson made the call to evacuate, saying it was gonna come down. You don't have to tell me twice, you know? Me and Bas have been in enough flashovers to know when to get the hell out of Dodge.

I turned to leave, head back the way I came when the door to my left burst open. A body landed on top of me out of nowhere. He just kept shouting at me, saying someone had to pay for ruining his plan and that it was my lucky day. I kept trying to get him off of me but he wouldn't budge, he just kept looking up at the burning ceiling and counting down. He grabbed my helmet, my mask… I couldn't breathe, I couldn't call for help."

Chris reached across the table and took Nika's hand in his, giving her an encouraging squeeze. There was so much he wanted to say, but the words wouldn't come.

"The only thing I remember before waking up in the hospital is the whole thing coming down on top of me. I blinked and the guy wasn't there anymore; it was just me, alone, under piles of burning debris. I could feel the flames eating through my gear, burning away my skin. And I couldn't do anything except lay there helpless. Just before I blacked out I heard Bas calling me."

"What did he say?"

"What he always says whenever I'm too far away, Întoarce-te la mine, Micuță. And then I woke up in the hospital with a broken wrist and second-degree burns on my shoulder and across half of my chest. If anything else happened between the house coming down and me waking up in the hospital, I don't know."

Chris's fingers opened and closed around Nika's. He didn't have the words to express the mix of emotions running through his body, all he knew was that he wanted to get his hands on the man from the fire and make sure he didn't get to walk away again. He blew out a long breath and looked across the table at her.

"You can stay here for as long as you need to," he offered.

Nika stood, awkwardly clearing the empty plates from the table with one hand. "Thanks. But I don't know how to do this. I'm a firefighter, I don't know how to just be a regular person. Right now, I'm completely useless."

Chris couldn't believe what he was hearing. The pain etched on her face and laced in her voice was unbearable. He wanted nothing more than to take it away, and give her back that sense of purpose she always found in her career, but how could he? Until she'd fully healed, there was nothing anyone could really do. He couldn't imagine the thoughts going through her head.

He took the plates from her hand and set them in the sink, then led her from the kitchen to the bathroom. He may not have been able to change what happened, but he could help her relax.

"What are you doing?" Exhaustion settled deep within Nika's bones. It'd been the first time she'd told anyone what all she remembered from the fire, and she couldn't help feeling like she had screwed up somehow. Why else would someone have been able to get the jump on her so easily? Why else would she have gone down without a fight?

Chris stepped up behind her, positioned her in front of the mirror, and gently pulled her hearing aids from her ears. When she protested, he held his hands up signaling her to wait.

"The woman standing in front of me is far from useless." He grabbed the hem of the t-shirt she'd worn to bed, gently lifted it over her head and carefully pulled it from her injured arm. The unsightly bandages stuck out on her chest like a sore thumb, and he watched as she wrinkled her nose at her reflection in the mirror.

He slowly pulled the bandages away, the skin underneath was raw and bruised. She stood before him half-naked, a look of annoyance clouding her amber eyes.

Chris gently washed over the back of her shoulder and across the right side of her chest with warm water, careful not to agitate the wound too much. Nika's skin was warm to the touch, he often said it was because she had fire in her veins. He looked at her in the mirror as he rinsed the soap from her chest. "She's strong, she's courageous, she's stubborn, she's wild, she's a total badass."

Nika snorted, rolling her eyes. The burn would leave behind scarring along her collarbone, breast, and shoulder blade. Nothing about her currently seemed anything like what Chris had described. "Don't be stupid, Evans."

"I'm serious." Chris used a clean piece of gauze to pat the area on her chest and shoulder dry before bandaging it up again. He moved her hair off to the side and kissed the top of her head. "I see the woman who survived a freak accident, I see my best friend. She may be a little broken, a little bruised, a little scarred. But you are anything but useless, Nik. And you'll get through this."

"Being a firefighter is all I am, it's all I have," she explained sadly. She put her hearing aids back in and followed Chris from the bathroom.

"Somehow I don't think that's right, Nik. That's not all you are."

"And how would you know? You've never done anything else a day in your life either, Chris! You live and breathe being a firefighter just as much as I do."

"Maybe. But you're also my best friend, you're Sebastian's annoying kid sister. And you're a great chef, for one. You have other things you like to do in your down time. It's not the end of the world."

"Those are hobbies. Firefighting is my life. Without it, I'm nothing."

"You're talking as if you've already been told not to go back."

"We both know Bas won't want me to go back. The call was too close."

Chris sighed and pulled Nika into a hug. He didn't have the answer this time, but he wouldn't leave her to figure it out on her own.

Nika thanked whatever god was listening that she'd cried out all of her tears in the hospital bed. And maybe Chris was right. Just because she couldn't work right now didn't mean she wouldn't ever work again. And maybe the time off would do her some good, give her a chance to see what else was out there beyond the fast-pace of firefighting.

But when she thought of what the future had to offer her outside of the firehouse, that scared her more than rushing into burning buildings did. Firefighting lived in Nika's veins.

"Hey," Chris stepped back so he could look her in the eyes. He brushed a stray strand of hair from her forehead and smiled. "Whatever happens back home, you know you always have a place here at 64."

Till The End of All Things Taglist: @arrowsandmixtapes @pinknerdpanda

#boston burning #sebastian stan fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #firefighter au

[wenellyb]

this is probably just me but I’m kind of getting annoyed with directors and producers saying in interviews that they didn’t intend for the characters to be read as LGBT at all...i just feel like it’s always been a given that once you create a piece of fiction (like books or movies), the interpretations of the reader/viewer are just as important as the intentions of the author/creator.

even if the intention wasn’t to make sam or bucky bi and in a relationship, i feel like we are allowed to read them like that without the directors and writers saying “no no we didn’t mean for it to be like that!!”...like it might not have been their intention but it’s still there

and i don’t think it’s wishful thinking that they’re in a relationship either, like the tropes of a romcom are right there...anyway sambucky rights 😭

Hi Anon, I don't think it's just you and I really understand the frustration because I share some of it too but I'm frustrated at the real "culprits"... the executives making the decisions. I'm sorry for replying late to this but I have a lot of thoughts on this topic and I wanted to organize them first😂 First things first... I know we have all been in other fandoms... But we have try to stop applying what happened in other fandoms and what other directors have said in other fandoms to what's happening with Sambucky. For so many reasons, but the main one is: Marvel people cannot say anything.... literally.... They must have a secrecy oath or something but it's not in these interviews that you will find meaningful information.. Remember a while back when Anthony tried to tell us he WASN'T Captain America even though we had all seen Steve hand him the shield in Endgame?? So it was already a scene we had seen? That man was contradicting something that millions of people had seen with their own eyes. Was I frustrated at Anthony ? No. Because that's how anyone involved in marvel projects talks... ( You remember why people make fun of Ruffalo and Holland? Because they are the only 2 unable to follow that one simple rule😂) So my strategy is focus on the content we have and focus on the future content when it's time to focus on the future content... But I really never focus on cast members interviews or directors interview etc...(Only Stackie interviews but you know that already). I think that we are so used to complaining in other fandoms that we complain for the FATWS but the directors did the best they could. Maybe the directors/writers in other shows/movies have a little more freedom in what they said.

I would understand of it were an indie movie or something but it isn't, Kari and Malcom arent making the decisions alone and have some limitations because they aren't allowed to give any hints about the future... and most of the time they don't even know themselves... Directors/ writers change all the time. Besides in Marvel shows the romance is never at the center of the story, I consider myself lucky that we got this much romance in the show... If Sam or Bucky were a woman I don't think we would have had any more romantic moments than what we got (maybe just on little kiss at the end but not much more than that... Sam and Bucky wouldn't have been kissing in every episode I can assure you that). The only difference is that people would have seen the romance right away, and the shippers wouldn't have minded if there had been a kiss or not. Because that's how Marvel projects work... not much focus on the romance itself, it's not even a subplot, more like a sub-subplot.

Sam and Bucky started with only 4 lines in Civil War and then 2 scenes in Endgame... That's it. So what they have now is just amazing.

Another point: If I'm not mistaken, Kari never said that Bucky was never intended to be read as LGBT/ Bi. If she did, let me know and I will read the interview again. What she said was that the Tiger Pictures weren't put there to show that Bucky was bisexual but to show that he was not good with technology. And that there was" no sexuality attached to his character" which makes no sense, by the way, because he went on a date with Leah, so they had to at least think avout his sexuality,... But she didn't say that, she didn't say he was straight or bi. She purposely gave a vague answer...Like all Marvel people do... So I think it's unfair to get frustrated at her for things that are out of her control. She was giving a specific answer related to the Tiger pics, maybe she would have given a different reply to a different question. I know that directors or actors other shows have said what you just mentioned in your ask, and correct me if I'm wrong, but it hasn' t been the case for TFATWS. I don't think any of them said Bucky wasn't bisexual and even less about Sam. They never said anything like that or never said that they never intended them to be read as LGBT. Last point: I don't think that she had no intention of portraying Sam and Bucky in a romantic lighting... I do think it was intentional but I also think that this is the best she can share right now...

As you said... the romance tropes are right there... it's not a mistake or a coïncidence... they put them there for a reason I have said this before but I will say it again because I think some Sambucky shippers don't come from other MCU fandoms and even the ones that do seem to forget this sometimes... y

These writers, directors, etc always talk in riddles and share as little information as possible...We don't know what will happen and they don't know either... So it's very difficult for them to make impactful comments.

Sorry to bring this a lot but am I the only one who remembers the Peggy Sharon and the Peggy again situations...??? Do you think any of the directors or writer knew where the story was going when they were filming the movies? no. I say we just focus on what we liked and ignore the reat until there is real content, Kari said " they love each other and rhey work great as a couple" and Malcom said they are a family .... If I were in their position I don't know what I would be allowed to say... nothing is ever certain in the Marvel universe. As much as I'd like to hope about what happens with Sam and Bucky in the next movies... I don't even think the decision has been made, so why get frustrated over something that isn't even decided yet...What I can so... is the already great and developed love story, I don't care that there wasn't a kiss.

Would I have appreciate an "official" confirmation? Yes, yes yes. But I'm also happy with the story as it is and know that maybe it isn't their decision to confirm or not. But the content is there and it's a love story. People who say Marvel will never go there are lying because they don't know. And people who pretend Bucky and Sam will be together in the next movies are lying too because they don't know either... It's also a possibility that Seb wouldn't be in the next Cap movie... We really don't know enough to be frustrated about anything😂. Even if Kari and the writers had depicted Sam and Bucky as a romantic item (Which they did, by the way). I believe this is the maximum she would have been able to say... Maybe because they are two men... or maybe because that's just the way Marvel operates.

Please feel free to share your thougts on this if you want too and of course: Sambucky rights!!!

#sambucky #sambucky-asks #anon asks #bucky barnes #tfatws #kari skogland

[until-theend-oftheline]

Homework

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader

Warnings: Relationship hard patch, therapy, working through things, mention of postpartum depression, self-guilt, talk of the future - not as bad as it sounds 

Squares Filled: Unbreakable Bond for @goodthingshappenbingo​   

Word Count: 2100ish

A/N: This is thought of as part of my LLL Universe, but if you don’t wanna read them all it can still be read as a one-shot. Though it will probably make the most sense if you know the story a little beforehand.  

Betaed by: @blacktithe7​ - thank you love

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

For the past three weeks, you had been in therapy two times a week. Once on your own, and once with Sebastian. You were working hard on yourself and your relationship. It hadn’t taken your therapist long to suspect you might be suffering from a mild case of postpartum depression. You loved Isabella and hadn’t once thought about hurting her or yourself. That’s what you always thought postpartum depression was, but your therapist had taught you otherwise. 

You felt off. You didn’t feel like yourself. You had distanced yourself from Sebastian because of it. You woke up in the middle of the night worrying about Isabella for no reason, and you didn’t want to leave her with anyone other than her father. 

The last part your therapist had taken as a positive. Even if you had distanced yourself from him, Sebastian was still someone you trusted. The only one you fully trusted with Isabella. You hadn’t seen any of that before, and that first session had you crying against Sebastian’s chest, apologizing for you didn’t know what. He didn’t blame you one bit, he just held you and reminded you he wasn’t going anywhere. 

Before you left her office you signed up for solo sessions to get your depression under control. Those sessions were going pretty well. Understanding what you were feeling helped you, but you still didn’t want to leave Isabella with anyone other than Sebastian. 

Sessions with Sebastian were hard. He felt as if he should have seen how you were feeling, that he had given up on you too easily. You felt everything was your fault and that you should have told him how you were feeling. Last week you had been fighting a lot again, just like before Sebastian had moved out of the apartment. Only this time it was because you didn’t want each other to blame yourselves. 

This week had been a little better. Things had been awkward, but you had come to an understanding with each other. An understanding that you both needed to let the other go through whatever you were feeling in your own way. 

You hated the awkwardness though, and the homework your therapist gave you didn’t help matters. Maybe that’s why you had invited Sebastian over early to have dinner with you and Isabella. You let your daughter work as a buffer between the two of you, which appeared to work. For a moment you felt normal. Like you were a family again. 

You hadn’t been done cooking when Sebastian showed up, so he had hung out in the kitchen with you, playing with Isabella. The little girl adored her dad and was giggling and making happy baby noises. She kept reaching for him and showing him different toys. Sebastian’s attention never wavered as he happily went along with anything she handed him, even if he still managed to chat with you about the food, what Isabella had been up too, and possible job opportunities. 

Sebastian and you took your time feeding the little girl. When dinner was over, Sebastian offered to give your daughter a bath and tucked her in, while you cleared the table. When you were done, you headed for your bedroom, where you kept Isabella’s crib. You smiled, leaning against the doorway as you watched Sebastian kiss your sleeping baby girl goodnight. 

He smiled at you when he turned around to see you, slowly tiptoeing up to you. You backed up with a smile, letting him close the door behind him after turning on the baby monitor. For a few seconds, you just stood there, looking at each other. Neither of you willing to let this part of the day end just yet, but both knowing you had too. 

“You ready?” Sebastian reached out, gently tugging your hair behind your ear. 

You leaned into his touch, letting him cup your cheek as you looked up at him. You took a deep breath before kissing his hand and nodding. 

“Yeah. I guess so.”

The two of you walked to the couch and sat down across from each other. You felt nervous. You looked down and started to fidget with your hands, only for Sebastian to reach out and put his on top of yours. 

“It’s just me okay?” Sebastian reminded you, smiling softly when you looked up at him. 

“This is weird though. Sit down and talk about what’s on your minds,” you mocked your therapist, causing Sebastian to laugh. 

“I’d rather do trust exercises or something,” you grumbled, even though his laughter was putting you more at ease. 

“Hey if you wanna hop up on the couch and fall backward, I’ll catch ya,” Sebastian teased, laughing again when you stretched your leg, poking him in the stomach with your foot. 

“And just for that. You get to start,” you stuck your tongue out at him, and Sebastian pulled a face back at you. Your childish games made you both laugh before your eyes met, and you both grew serious again. 

Sebastian took a deep breath, before looking down. “What’s on my mind a lot is I really wanna move back home to you and Isabella.”

“Sebastian…” your voice was soft, and your heart hurt for having to reject his wish. You weren’t there yet, and you didn’t want to do anything that might cause the two of you to lose each other for good. 

“I don’t mean tonight or even tomorrow,” Sebastian quickly interrupted you, looking up at you with a sad smile. “I know we still have work to do, but that’s what’s on my mind the most. I miss the two of you when I’m not around and it kills me every time I have to walk out that door.”

“I’m sorry,” you felt yourself tear up as he spoke and Sebastian, quickly moved closer to you, pulling you against his chest. 

“Hey. No. Don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself,” Sebastian tried to put you at ease, but instead you pulled away from him. 

“How can I not? I was the one who told you to go,” you argued, but Sebastian just shook his head. 

“You didn’t. I was the one who offered that…” Sebastian tried, but you interrupted him before he could finish. 

“You offered to move out. To couch surf between your friends and mom’s place for months because you didn’t want me to move across the country with your daughter,” your voice was harsh, and tears were streaming down your face as you spoke. “I never meant to take her away from you, but Seb I almost did.”

“No you didn’t,” Sebastian stayed remarkably calm this time around. Maybe he had been working on that during his solo sessions. “Honey, we were fighting. You wanted the fighting to end, and going to your mom's was the first thing that occurred to you. If that had happened, you would have been back. We would have figured something out.”

What Sebastian said sounded so rational, but you also hated the amount of faith he put in you when you still felt you were to blame for all of this. 

“You don’t know that. You can’t know that.”

“I do. Because I know you Y/N/N.” Sebastian tried to smile at you as he reached for your hand. This time you didn’t push him away. “And you have to stop blaming yourself for all of this. I ran away. I felt something was off between us, and instead of talking to you about it, I ran away to shoot a movie I got an offer for last minute.” 

You nodded and looked down at your hand holding his. You gave it a small squeeze, not wanting him to think you were mad at him as you confessed. 

“I did feel like you abandoned me. You decided on your own, and all of a sudden I was alone with a baby.”

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian’s voice was thick as he spoke and you looked up at him. You could see the tears pooling in his eye. You hadn’t wanted to hurt him. 

“You’re here now. That’s what matters,” you forced a small smile. “And I want us to be a family again someday. We both miss you when you’re not around.” 

“Yeah?” Tears were streaming down his face, and you could no longer help yourself. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his neck, holding him close to you. 

“I love you, Seba,” you whispered, smiling when you felt his grip on you tighten as he buried his face against your neck. 

“I love you too, Y/N/N. So much.” 

You didn’t say anything else for a while. You just sat there; holding each other. Sebastian was the first to pull back a little, looking down at you. Your heart skipped a beat and you felt like you did that night you first met. You wanted him to kiss you so badly and yet something stopped you, causing you to pull back at the last second. 

You saw a flicker of disappointment in his eyes, but he quickly masked it behind a smile as he reached for your hand again. 

“Your turn.”

“I… I think about you moving home, but…” you wanted to tell him. You had no idea why it was this hard. Maybe because this was a huge part of the reason you had pushed him away in the first place. 

“But?” Sebastian pushed, even though you could hear the flicker of doubt in his voice. 

“I don’t feel like myself.” You didn’t look at him as you spoke. “I’m not ready for us to have sex because I hate looking at myself still. I don’t want you to see me when…”

“Stop.”

You looked up at him with surprise written all over your face. Not once had he stopped you sharing anything with him before. 

“Honey how you feel is completely valid, but I promise you. What you see is not what I see. I see the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I see a woman that gave me the most amazing little girl in the world. I see a woman that I have been completely head over heels in love with even way before she realized it,” Sebastian confessed with a smile, and you couldn’t help the smile on your face as you looked down with a blush. 

You knew Sebastian well. He was, despite everything, your best friend, and you knew when he was lying. He wasn’t now. He never lied to you, especially not about how he felt. 

“Hey.” Sebastian placed a finger under your chin, making you look at him. “Is that why you pulled away before. Because you thought I wanted too…”

“Yeah… I… logically I know you weren’t. I know you’re not like that,” you stammered. 

“Brad?” 

You had shared everything about your past with Seb long ago, even before the two of you started dating. He had never met Brad, and still, he spoke his name with so much disdain that it was almost dripping from his teeth. You loved him all the more for it too. 

“I know you’re not him. It’s just…” you tried to explain, but Sebastian just shook his head. He knew. 

“Trauma can be hard to shake. Especially when you’re feeling low,” Sebastian assured you. “I’m never gonna push you into anything you don’t want. I miss you. In every way. But I can wait. Sex is not even close to the thing I miss the most. Kissing you and holding you is up there though.”

His confession made you smile. You bit your lip and looked down. 

“What are you thinking?” Sebastian gently tugged your hair away from your face and you looked back up at him. He looked at you so softly and lovingly, it gave you the courage you needed.

“About you kissing me.”

Sebastian swallowed, licking his lips never taking his eyes off you. “Do you… Can I?” He looked at your lips, making you smile. 

“Please kiss me, Seba,” you asked gently as you leaned in close enough to feel his breath on your lips. Sebastian slowly closed the gap, letting your lips meet.

He kissed you slowly and tenderly, letting you feel all the love he held for you as he pulled you tightly against his chest. He silently promised you everything would be right between the two of you again, and you believed him as you kissing him back, making the same promise right back to him. 

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.  

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr​ @sleepretreat​ @roxyspearing​ @jewels2876​  @hellaqueerangelofthelord​ @danijimenezv​ @rumoured-whispers​ @becs-bunker​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @blacktithe7​ @grace-for-sale​ @averyrogers83​ @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ @sorenmarie87​ @docharleythegeekqueen​ @erosbellarke​ @the-wayward-robot​ @super100012​ @myfanficlibrarium​ @winchesters-favorite-girl​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @igotkatiepowers​ @dottirose​ @deathofmissjackson​ @miraclesoflove​ @badassbaker​

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian x reader #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan fanfiction #lll

[spiders-hth-is-an-outlier]

Okay start us out with those Magicians Opinions!

the first character i ever fell in love with:  LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT QUENTIN COLDWATER.  Okay, but yeah, they really introduced him in a way that worked-worked for me – that whole opening sequence that cuts between Quentin being tense and closed-off and miserable in this hollow, almost angry way in the office of the hospital, and Quentin trying to act normal at a party, making wan jokes while the misery and the anger leaks out of him and makes him just so unpalatable to be around – I mean, Jason Ralph just takes the character by the throat instantly and Goes There.  I remember thinking as I was watching it that this was the first “anxious nerd dude” character I'd ever seen who wasn't being framed as actually funny/weird/charming/vulnerable/the clear audience stand-in, but framed as if he were a real person who's really eaten up by depression and self-loathing, and just as off-putting as that is in real life.  I vividly remember just having that reaction of, “Oh. This is about someone who's really hanging on by his fingernails, not just Hollywood Depressed,” and latching on so hard, because I needed to see that so much, and I needed to root for him to find his reason, not in spite of but because as a character he was resistant to being liked by other people, by the audience. It's not loveable and charming, to hate yourself, to find your life barely tolerable.  It's not a position from which it's easy to see your way forward, and to me Quentin is the most honest expression of that reality that I had ever seen in genre tv.  So like, I get why some people didn't like him in first season – he's intentionally tough to like – but I was ultra-invested from minute one, and literally everything he ever said or did made me love him more.

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: I think I was kind of intrigued by Fen early on – I liked the idea that she was this naive fairy-tale girl who was going to have this harsh awakening when her Destined Prince turned out to be a real person who couldn't fulfill her fantasies, who was going to have to figure out who she was beyond “going to marry the king someday.”  That seemed like an interesting arc, and here and there they were kind of doing it – I love the realpolitik she occasionally comes out with, particularly that one scene on the boat when she's like, “The dipshits from my hometown are going to execute me because of you, so sticking with you is kind of my only option and that's just happening.”  But then...I don't know, she's really irritating, and they got this weird thing in their heads where her problem is that Eliot sucks, instead of that being The Girl Who Will Marry the King Someday is a sucky role to be forced into making a real life out of, and I just gave up trying to like her eventually.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I liked Penny/Kady all right, until they started doing the weird thing where “in Doomed Love with Penny” was Kady's only emotional arc, like – they actually had her say that all she ever cared about was being Penny's girlfriend, and that's the kind of thing that kind of retroactively ruins the pairing for me.

my ultimate favorite character™: So after everything I said up top – it's actually Eliot.  That snuck up on me!  And my love for Quentin never went away, not by any means, but.  God, Eliot.

prettiest character: If I try to take an objective stance, I'd say it's probably Margo?  Like, she's just unearthly beautiful.  But there's something about Jason Ralph's goddamn face that – I don't know, it just enthralls me; he does okay-ish at playing Normal-Looking for TV, but also if I look at him for too long it kind of hurts, he's so stupidly gorgeous.

my most hated character: Hyman.  And I thought we were supposed to hate Hyman, but then season 5 allegedly happened, and everyone was like, aw, Hyman's okay!  But – no he's not?  He's obviously not okay? He deeply sucks?  Ugh, season 5.

my OTP: Hi, I'm Milo, and welcome to my Tumblr.  But yeah, it's Quentin/Eliot, canonical soulmates and The Ditch I Will Die In.

my NOTP: You know, they kind of wore me down to the point of “fine, what the fuck ever,” but I still don't support Margo/Josh.  It's bad, it's a bad relationship, it was a bad idea.

favorite episode: I really love Be the Penny, but the actual answer is Escape From the Happy Place.  I feel allegiance to Be the Penny, I have not a negative word to say about it, but Escape from the Happy Place is just a level beyond, it's astonishingly good.

saddest death: This question is a microaggression and I will not stand for it.

favorite season: I'm about to break your brain, but – it's 4!  It's season 4!  I fucking love the first ten episodes of s4!  I love the Monster, I love Bad News Bear, I love Hard Glossy Armor, I love fucking Santa Claus.  I think s4 has this great propulsive energy where the rest of the series has always been plagued by a tendency to kind of throw everything at the wall and see if anything sticks, the stakes are clear, the external villain and the emotional stuff work together for once, everyone's performances are so strong.  The collapse at the end feels so appalling to me in part because I was totally on the ride for most of the season.

least favorite season: I mean, it's season 5, but it didn't have to be.  I was never going to get over Quentin's death, per se, but I think there were ways to structure the next season that would've been workable, and honestly there are things about s5 that I do like.  I watched most of 5 feeling like it was – messy, but messy in the same way that s2 was messy, the same way The Magicians has always been a little messy, and it wasn't until the end when I really just threw up my hands and was like, okay, I get it, there was never a plan, none of this was going anywhere.  God, the last couple of episodes still frustrate me so much, because right up until that point, there was still time to salvage a lot of character work, but nope!

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: So I don't hate her, and in fact I came to kind of like her eventually, but I did actively hate Julia for a long, long time.  Just.  Like, she really – pushes my buttons in a very specific way, and if she were a real person I would absolutely love myself by having as little contact as possible with Julia, but because everyone except me loves her so much, I really kind of forced myself to delve into her and try to see what people liked about her, and I do think it was a pretty successful project.  I would definitely say at this point that I appreciate Julia as a character, and I have a pretty good sense of what Stuff she activates in me that produces that ruffled reaction, which has allowed me to go beyond Julia Sucks Actually to This Character Is Not Really For Me.  I love and support the 98% of fandom who like Julia!  In my way, I love and support Julia!  But kind of like – a sibling you're sort of forced to into a relationship with, that you love even though they drive you crazy and you're not too sure you will really ever like them.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: The Monster.  I mean, it's not that I wanted a redemption arc for him or anything (although @portraitofemmy has always been onto something with the idea that if the Monster is essentially a child, allowing Quentin to save the world by parenting him would've been a pretty clever payoff for long-term arcs), he's just the kind of villain that is just endlessly fun to watch.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: I mean, that's a pretty succinct summary of the entire Eliot Waugh Experience.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: With the caveat that I still don't believe in guilt because these are just imaginary people in imaginary stories, I definitely still think there's a great romantic tragedy right there for the taking with Eliot/Seb.  I wouldn't say the show should have done it, because that would obviously have been just a very different direction than they intended to go, but as a non-canonical ship, I think it's so potentially rich, and someday I'm going to have time to go back to that story I was writing about them, whether or not anyone else ever gives a shit about it.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: I never could figure out what people's issue was with Julia/Penny23, they seemed to make each other happy.  He was a sweet, supportive dude, and I like their little Wild Thornberrys Interdimensional Adventurers family at the end, although I wish they'd done it on purpose, because “guess what life-changing thing is happening to Julia's body without her consent this week!” was not a well the writers needed to go back to, in my opinion.  But I like the idea that Julia ends up with a good guy and a magic kid and is off doing quests and shit, the whole shebang, I thought that was a nice ending.  For whatever that's worth, and I imagine that from the perspective of a real Julia fan, my opinion at this point is not worth much!

#the magicians