#I remember reading somewhere that’s they weren’t really focusing on relationships this season and then Episode 6 came on

[angelst4re]

It makes me so happy to see someone as feral over Jamie as I am🤣 could I please request another Jamie x trans masc!

Reader has never had a proper relationship before because people fetishise the fact he is trans rather than seeing him as a man (fucking RELATABLE) but after a few dates and some reassurance from our fruity Jamie, they become an item and Jamie introduces him to the cast of stranger things as his boyfriend <3 (let's say they're preparing to film season 5 and Jamie is bringing his boyfriend to set for a few days <3) sorry this was long asf <3

ofc!! we're all feral for jamie here my love!! also i ended up writing quite a lot for this!!!

First Dates- Jamie Campbell Bower x transmasc!Reader

summary: you were drunk at a party and overshare to a man you just met, which happens to lead to a relationship...

warnings: none?? :)

notes: transmasc!reader has my heart!! i do so much research whenever i write for different readers because i feel like everyone deserves to have a fic where they actually ARE the reader, as i know how special that can feel (even though that sounds so silly!) so i hope you like it!! <3 (p.s i haven't proof read this and the majority was written when i was overworked and underpaid and EXHAUSTED so bare with me, I'll be editing it soon!!)

‘Hey I’m going to a party tonight, if you’re not up to anything I’d love for you to come with me! :)’ 

You stared at the text, thinking of how to say no politely. But you knew it would be good to get back out, and perhaps even meet someone new. 

You were let down yet again by a guy you were talking to on tinder. You didn’t think it would’ve gone anywhere anyway, but you were still quite upset by it. You really liked him.

You texted your friend back, telling them to let you know when it starts and where it is, but they offered to pick you up from your house at 6, so you quickly jumped into the shower and got ready. 

You never really cared for parties, the music was too loud and the conversations were too boring. But this one felt a bit different, and there was a guy who caught your eye. You could’ve sworn you recognised him, you just weren’t sure where from. 

You told your friend he looked rather hot, and they immediately dragged you over to him to introduce you. 

“Jamie! I didn’t know you were going to be here!” They smiled, glancing at you before continuing, “this is my friend, y/n! He said he thinks he recognises you from somewhere.”

The two of them chuckled, as if it was some kind of inside joke, but Jamie then reached his hand out to shake yours. 

“I’m Jamie,” he smiled, “you’ve probably seen me on-”

“He was the guy from stranger things! Remember?!” Your friend tried to explain, but you didn’t have the guts to tell them you hadn’t watched the newest season yet.

“Oh!” You pretended to realise, “so how do you two know each other?” You asked, trying not to mess up your words as you felt Jamie’s eyes on you as you spoke, yet you felt your cheeks heat up. 

“Through my brother, Sam.” Jamie said. 

“Remember Sam? My old friend from-”

“Oh Sam!” You didn’t have to act this time, “I remember him, how is he?” 

Jamie answered, telling you how he’s really focusing on his music at the moment, and that he’s currently away so he couldn’t be at the party tonight. The two of you continued to talk, and your friend slipped away at some point, leaving the two of you alone. He was such an easy person to talk to, and you felt comfortable speaking to him, unlike many other people you’ve met at parties. 

You got onto the conversation about his career, and you had a sudden realisation. 

“You were Jace?!” Your eyes widened in shock, as Jamie grinned and nodded his head, “no way!” 

“Well, you better believe it! I’ve still got the ring from that movie.” 

“What?!” You did have quite a few drinks, and they seemed to have hit you all at once. And then you suddenly felt something, it felt like guilt in a way, as if you knew this moment wouldn’t last, something was going to happen, it made you feel a little sad. This is how it always went. 

“Hey,” Jamie smiled softly, “is everything okay?” He asked. No one has ever asked you that before and sounded so sincere. He was truly something special, you could already tell. 

“I need to tell you something." You began, already beginning to feel overwhelmed by thoughts rushing through your head, "I don’t want it to change anything, I don’t want you to think-”

“Hey, hey, don’t work yourself up, love.” He said, sensing that you were getting overwhelmed by what you were trying to say,  “what do you need to tell me?”

“I’m trans.” You blurted out, "I don't want- I mean, I knew I had to tell you now because, you see, I’ve never been in a real, proper relationship and... well, I went on a date the other day, I really thought it was going well but- shit, all the dates I’ve been on have ended terribly," you knew you were rambling on, but you couldn't stop, the alcohol in your system seemed to have taken over. "I’ve never been out with the same person more than once. They don’t see me as me, y'know, it's so obvious they just want to get in my pants. I’ve never actually spoken to someone the way I’ve spoken to you, knowing that's all you want. Knowing what they're thinking just feels so... I can't explain it. But with you I feel comfortable, I don’t know, it just feels different- Oh fuck! I’m so sorry! I’m oversharing and we’ve only just met and-” 

Jamie took your hands into his, causing you to stop speaking, and your eyes met his. He rubbed his thumb over the back of your hand, and began to speak. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he smiled, “and don’t ever apologise for oversharing, I do it all the time, it can’t be helped… If you want to talk about it I’m here to listen. Don’t bottle things up, okay? Trust me, it’s a terrible thing to do. We all need someone every now and then.” He paused for a moment before carefully asking, “so y/n is the name you choose to go by, right?” 

You couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face as you said yes, and told him your pronouns. He really made you feel so comfortable, and so safe. You found it hard to believe you’ve only just met. 

You spent the rest of the night talking to Jamie, you shared things you thought you would regret with him, but he was perfectly comfortable talking with you. And nothing changed after you told him about everything, which was extremely rare for you. 

Jamie really was something special. 

At the end of the night, you had already begun sobering up after having something to eat, and you began to apologise to him again for oversharing, as the two of you had only just met, but it felt like you had been friends for years. 

“Do you know how you’re getting home?” Jamie asked as everyone had begun to leave. 

“Yeah, my friend’s taking me back. It was really nice talking to you tonight. And thank you again for listening to me, I think we both needed someone to talk to. Sorry if I-” 

“Don't finish that sentence!" Jamie chuckled, "I told you earlier, you don't need to apologise for anything. Tonight was really fun, it's been nice getting to know you,” he smiled, “I’d love to meet up with you again. Are you free on Friday? I was thinking maybe I could pick you up and show you that record store I was talking about?” 

“Sure!” You grinned, “what’s your number? I’ll let you know when I’m about!” 

You handed your phone to Jamie and he typed in his phone number, and even took a silly picture for the contact photo. You smiled to yourself as he handed it back to you. 

“Text me something quickly, I want to make sure I put the right number in.” 

You sent him a ‘hello :)’ and his phone pinged. 

“See you on Friday, Jamie.” You said, spotting your friend waving for you to hurry up. 

“See you on Friday, y/n.” 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

Friday came along quicker than expected, and the two of you spent the day together. You went to the record store for a while, then Jamie took you to another store he frequently visited. It was full of all sorts of jewellery and oddities, and you enjoyed looking around. You couldn’t help but pick up a few things to buy, and neither could Jamie. 

You went for drinks after, and Jamie opened up to you about his past with drinking and you suddenly felt terrible for the night you met you. However, he didn’t seem to mind, he had been sober for quite a few years now. 

At the end of the day, as Jamie was driving you home, you had wondered what today really was. Was it just a fun day out with a friend, or could it have been considered a date? You didn’t think far into it, it was better that way. 

“I’ve had a great time today.” Jamie said, one arm resting on the open window, his other hand on the wheel. 

“Me too, it’s been fun.” You smiled. 

“If you’re not doing anything this week you could always come to mine? I’ve got some friends over for a couple days but that doesn’t matter, I know you’ll love them. We could watch that movie I told you about?”

You couldn’t say no to that, and you visited him the next week. You made sure you arrived after his friends left as you weren’t sure about meeting them yet.

Jamie’s house was just so… him! There were a few horror movie posters on the wall, fanart he had been given from all different conventions around the world, many, many books. But there was one thing you wondered about. 

“I remember you saying you still had the ring from the city of bones movie?” You mentioned, hoping he'd take the hint. 

“Oh! That’s right here!” He grinned as he picked it up. 

“I can’t believe you still have it!” You gasped as he handed it to you. 

“Neither can I if I’m being honest…” he paused before saying, “it’s yours now. From one stunningly attractive man to another.”

Your eyes widened, there’s no way he would let you have it, would he?

“No way.” You shook your head. 

“Try it on. See if it fits.” He said, placing his hands on his hips, almost in a sassy way. 

“It does…” You furrowed your eyebrows as you tried it on, and it fit your middle finger perfectly. 

“Then you should have it!” Jamie insisted, “I’m not the same guy I was when I was 24. It doesn’t fit me anymore, and it looks better on you.” 

“But Jamie-”

“Nope!” He insisted, a grin on his face, “I don’t want it back, love. It’s yours.”

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

A couple months passed, and you were still meeting up and going out with Jamie every week or two, and when you weren’t with each other, you were texting each other. You honestly thought he only thought of you as a friend, nothing more, when you would go out for dinner with him that was just two guys hanging out. But your friends thought differently. 

“C’mon! It’s obvious he has a crush on you!”

“I don’t think so,” you said, “I thought he was straight, he’s only dated women before.”

“Are you serious? He literally said it himself that he was ‘fruity’, he gave you the ring from a movie he was in, you own two of his t-shirts, he bought the cologne you use because it reminds him of you, he takes you out for dinner, what more proof do you need! Y/n, that man is in love with you!” 

“But he can’t be!” You argued. 

“Why not?! You’re the coolest person I know, you’re so fun to be around and spend time with! I can see it, he can see it.”

“I just don’t think I can accept the possibility,” you admitted, “that he might actually be interested in me as more than a friend, because I’ve only ever thought of him as a friend!” You lied, you spent the last few months daydreaming about what it would be like to wake up next to him. 

“Well you better accept it pretty fast.” Was the last thing your friend said before hanging up the phone. 

Jamie was taking you out again tonight, and you had called your friend in a panic as he referred to it as a ‘date’. You wondered whether all these other times he had taken you out were also dates. However, they must have been for Jamie to ask a certain question during said date. 

“So, I was thinking…” he began, as he was walking you home, “I really do like spending time with you, and I’ve loved getting to know you, and I hope I’m not moving things too fast but…” you could Jamie was a little worried about asking you this, and he was stumbling over his words a bit, but he did it anyway, “do you want to become exclusi- fuck it- do you want to be my boyfriend?” 

You felt tears begin to gloss your eyes, happy tears of course. The question came as a shock, and you almost thought you were dreaming. 

“I…I thought we were just friends-”

“That’s okay, we don’t have to-”

“No, no! That’s not what I’m saying- I’d love to be your boyfriend, I-” You couldn’t believe what you were saying, you couldn’t believe he had actually asked you. 

“You would?” A smile spread across Jamie’s face, it was unlike any other time you had seen him smile. The look he gave you, one of pure happiness, is what set you off, beginning to cry. However, he wiped them away, placing a kiss on your forehead. “I know I’ll be your first, and if things go right then I may be your only, but I’ll make sure I treat you better than anyone else ever could, okay? I love you so much.”

You nodded your head, you couldn’t believe you finally had a boyfriend. You didn’t want to think about what your friends would say, you were expecting a lot of ‘I told you so’s from them. 

“I was also thinking about asking you to come with me when I leave for Georgia, when we start to prepare for season 5. It’s the week that you said you weren’t at work. I thought it would be perfect, like our first holiday as a couple.” He suggested, and you smiled. 

“I’d love that,” you said, “you’re such a romantic!” You teased, shaking your head as you got in his car. 

“I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends- just don’t listen to anything Joseph says about me, and don’t believe anything he says about our trip to Brazil either! I only joked about him eating it, I didn’t know he was actually going to!” 

You looked up at your boyfriend in confusion, and he simply smiled back at you. You both felt like the luckiest people ever, so grateful to have found each other. You could never imagine yourself with anyone else. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

“Guys this is my boyfriend, y/n!” Jamie introduced you to his castmates, you gave them a wave from your spot at the table.

You all went out for lunch after the readthrough of part of the script for the new season of stranger things. Jamie finally got you to watch season 4 with him before you both flew out, and you were hoping so desperately to see him come back as Henry. You wouldn’t have recognised Joseph without his Eddie wig if it wasn’t for the thousands of pictures Jamie had with him, and you held yourself back from fanboying over Joe Keery. 

You joined Jamie and Joseph for a smoke break, Jamie quickly had to answer a call, leaving you to talk to Joseph, and as he lit his cigarette he said,

“We’ve heard so much about you,” he smiled, “you really do make Jamie happy, y’know. He texted me the day before he asked you to be his boyfriend, he was really nervous about it in case you said no. He cares for you so much.”

“Awh,” you weren’t sure what to say, but Joseph’s words really touched your heart, “I never thought it was possible to love somebody this much.” You said. 

“That’s just Jamie, mate.” 

“So, I was told about a trip to Brazil?” You enquired, “Jamie told me not to believe anything you say about it?”

“He’s just embarrassed because he-”

“What are we talking about?” Jamie turned around, putting his phone back into his pocket. 

“Nothing!” You smiled, kissing Jamie on the cheek, “I might go back inside now, it’s a bit cold out here.”

“You can have my jacket, love?” Jamie offered, but you shook your head. 

“I kinda want to get to know Maya and Joe a bit better, but thank you.”

As you walked back inside, Joseph handed Jamie a cigarette and told him, 

“Don’t mess it up this time, man. He’s a great guy, don’t do anything stupid, and don't let him go.” 

When Jamie and Joseph finally went back inside, Jamie couldn’t help but chuckle at the questions you were asking the others.

"I'm starting to think he only said yes to flying out with me for a free meet and greet.” Jamie said jokingly to Joseph, who also began to chuckle. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

When you and Jamie got back to the hotel room, he’d gone into the bathroom to take a shower, you stole a t-shirt from his suitcase, got changed and got into bed. 

When Jamie got out of the shower, he had the towel around his hips, revealing his v-line, and you didn’t realise quite how hard you were biting your lip until it stung a little. 

“See something you like, do ya?” Jamie teased, watching as your face pinked. He placed a quick kiss on your lips before getting changed. And although you’ve seen his ass a thousand times before on the internet alone, you still looked the other way to give him some privacy. 

“You know, I was thinking the other day, I almost didn’t go to that party- the one that I met you at. But there was something that was telling me I just had to go, and I’m so glad I did.” You said, “you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” 

“Is this just because you got to meet the rest of the cast?” Jamie teased. 

“No!” You grinned, followed by a quiet, “but that too.” 

“I just knew from the beginning that you were going to be a big part of my life,” Jamie explained, “it’s like, when we first met it felt like I was talking to an old friend, not a stranger.” 

“That’s how I felt too,” you confessed, “it’s like it was meant to be!” You joked, but there was an ounce of seriousness in it.  

“Perhaps it was.” Jamie said, kissing you on the cheek as he got into bed next to you.

#jamie campbell bower #jamie bower #jamie campbell bower x reader #jamie bower x reader #jcb

[track-staryaz]

Yasmina & Sammy in S3

“Take care of Sammy until I get back.”

“Wait Yaz, the Scorpios went that way.”

“I don’t care what’s out there! I’m saving her.”

#camp cretaceous #camp cretaceous spoilers #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #sammina #Yasammy #O H BOY #narrowing this down to just 10 was hard #I could have made 3 whole ass sets #these bitches gay! #I remember reading somewhere that’s they weren’t really focusing on relationships this season and then Episode 6 came on #my posts

[fangirlingtodeath513]

The Cockles Breakup Theory - Jensen

So I’ve previously posted here about the Cockles Breakup Theory, but that focused more on Misha’s side of it since Misha’s side was a bit more obvious. I’ve gotten a few requests to do one specifically focusing on Jensen, so here we are. 

First of all, under no circumstances is this to be brought up with any of the cast or crew. Discussions like this are born in the fandom space and they’re meant to stay there. Please do not use these posts, or posts similar to this, to push an agenda with the actors, their families, or anyone else. This is purely speculative and purely for fun.

Throwing this under a cut because it’s gonna get long.

I’m gonna start out by giving a rough overview for those of you that don’t remember. We’re hovering between October of 2011 and somewhere around August of 2012. So we’re in season 7, where it looks like Cas has been removed from the show permanently. 

Misha shows up drunk and ornery all through Asylum 7, which was the following weekend. Jensen looks relatively unfazed. We don’t see much from him until well after fans were made aware of Misha’s return around December of 2011. 

The whole thing starts with this tweet from Misha:

[A screenshot of a tweet from Misha Collins on October 21, 2011. It reads: “I’m not normally one to talk coworkers, but Jensen jus let me take this picture of him shirtless.” This is followed by a link that leads to a very close-up picture of the left side of Jensen Ackles’ face, from his forehead to the bottom of his nose.]

This is pretty on-the-nose (pardon the pun) even for Misha, who’s typically very flirty and jokey with his friends. I’ve seen people theorize that this particular post is what spurred their breakup, in addition to the other factors of Misha being let go from the show and not being on set in Vancouver with Jensen anymore. My personal theory is that their relationship, whatever it was at the beginning, was as much of a comfort thing as it was a relationship. They were there for weeks at a time, away from their families, and I don’t doubt that they took comfort in each other. When that factor was removed, that relationship basically fell apart. I’m sure Misha being so jokingly open about their relationship didn’t strike Jensen in the best way either. He’s always been an intensely private person, though he has opened up to fans more recently, and I’m sure any insinuation that he’s living anything other than the life of the normal American male makes him nervous.

The Jensen side of this is generally thought of like this: from mid-October 2011 (the time of Misha’s tweet, which is thought to have started the breakup) to roughly February 2012, Jensen was super tight-lipped about Misha and Cas. He hardly says anything, which some people write off because Misha and Cas weren’t on the show. However, the fans knew Misha would be back in December of 2011, so J2M probably knew before that and Jensen was still tight-lipped about Misha and Cas. 

Somewhere around February, though, something happened. Jensen’s a lot more open with talking about Cas and whenever he brings up Misha, he always mentions how much he helps to carry the show and how great he is, almost like he’s trying to praise him at every opportunity. Throughout panels between February and August 2012, he does just about everything he can to get Misha’s attention. He flirts with him, pulls him into the conversation as often as he can, and brings up Misha/Cas even when he’s not around.

There’s this set of gifs regarding Jensen speaking about Cas and the loss of Cas during season 7. He’s overly nice in them and gushes about Cas, leading some people to believe he was trying to get Misha’s attention and show him that he really did care. 

In this set of gifs from February-ish 2012, you’ve got him saying he’ll take Misha back on the show with a pleased smile.

At Nashcon in February, Jensen is asked what it’s like to have Misha back on set and he says “It’s very refreshing, you know, he’s one of the family.”

And of course, there are the various statements about Dean taking Cas’s trenchcoat from the water, which wasn’t scripted. Misha said at an earlier con that he thought Dean was overly obsessed with Cas and that it was super creepy which, if you pay any attention to Misha at all, is super out of character for him. As far as I’m aware, he’s always been super supportive of Deana and Cas’s relationship (romantic or not). Also at Nashcon, Jensen says he discussed the move with the director, Guy Bee, and “if [Cas] ever comes back, he’s gonna need the trenchcoat.”

And then we’re onto JIB3 in April 2012. This one’s… rough, to say the least. For anyone who watches the Cockles panels at JIB, you know what they’re usually like: fun, flirty, usually with drunk Jensen and Misha. Misha almost always takes the lead in their panels because he’s always been the one more comfortable in front of fans, but this time he just sits back and watches. It’s the panel Cockles fans look forward to all year, but this one was… well, see for yourself.

Jensen kinda carries the whole thing. It’s pretty clear Misha’s not at all into being there.

And then there’s this exchange, which just speaks for itself:

[A set of gifs from Jus In Bello Convention in Rome. The exchange is as follows: Jensen: I-I had a great time. I really did. It wasn’t you, it was me. Misha: It’s funny, I just thought that, for me it was really special, so. Jensen: That’s, um… that’s too bad. That’s too bad. But maybe we can give it another shot! See if the creative juices get flowing. No? Okay. During this exchange, Jensen is very animated, moving his hands to punctuate his points and tilting his body toward Misha at times. At the end of that exchange, Jensen turns in his seat so Misha is slightly behind him. Misha, throughout this exchange, is incredibly reserved. He only moves to bring his microphone to his mouth and he turns his head to look at Jensen, but his body stays facing the crowd.]

I mean like what... how are you even supposed to interpret that any other way than a breakup? Look at Misha’s face, he looks devastated. His head is down, he doesn’t move at all while they’re talking, and he’s facing the crowd the entire time. His legs are straight out in front of him, unlike Jensen’s relaxed sitting posture.

Then there’s this whole thing, where Misha is so obviously trying to make Jensen jealous. It’s not until Misha sees Jensen looking over that he really goes for it, groping Sebastian and pretty much dry humping him on stage. Jensen just looks around awkwardly during this encounter, like he’s not really sure what to do with himself.

There’s also this debacle, which was also at JIB3. I’m not sure whose duck it was (I think Cliff’s, J2’s bodyguard) but Misha had autographed it with “Cliff, I want to give you my big d*ck”. The entire cast had been messing around with it all day, then Jensen walks on stage, sees Misha’s autograph, and almost immediately takes a sharp object to the duck to ruin it. I don’t want to assume this is because of Misha but like…………… I have eyes and a brain. 

As far as how it was resolved? We don’t really know. I doubt we’ll ever really know, to be honest with you. Around the time of filming 8x05, they had VanCon, where they were both visibly in much, much better spirits. Misha kissed a poster of Jensen, Jensen was so much more open that even at the time, some fans who attended the con remarked on it. This brings us to August of 2012, where it appears they mended whatever went wrong. Was it that Misha wasn’t on the show? Was it something more, like Jensen thinking they were becoming a little bit too public? We’ll probably never know.

I’m not going to tack my thoughts on the end here since I want this to primarily be an informational post, so if you’d like me to go in-depth with my own theory of what happened and what went down, I’ll certainly do that in a different post :) These are some other really great resources for the breakup theory that cover things way more in-depth than I have, especially with the conventions. There’s this one, which is basically the Cockles bible, most (if not all) of the pertinent info about the breakup is listed there. Here’s a youtube playlist of all the key moments we’ve discussed here as well as some others. You can also check out my cockles tag or my cockles breakup theory tag for more delightful cockles info.

#cockles #rps for ts #cockles breakup theory

[iffeelscouldkill]

The Strange Case of the Iris Express

[ID: A picture of a tan train car door with the text "The Strange Case of the" in the window, "Iris Express" on a white band of metal below the window, and "enchantedsleeper" on a plate of metal in the center of the image. All of the text is in all caps, dark brown serif, except for "enchantedsleeper," which is edited to look like it is embossed onto the metal plate. The door is very dirty. /end ID]

Summary: Violet Liu, a scientist working for industrial corporation Republico, is travelling on a brand new steam train called the Iris Express when she finds herself sharing a carriage with Kay Grisham - a young woman who says she grew up in the same small town as Violet. But as things start to go wrong with the train, Violet realises that the journey, and Kay, might not be what they had seemed.

Length: 11,583 words

Relationships: Violet Liu/Arkady Patel, Alvy Connors & Brian Jeeter

Read it on AO3!

A/N: Here is my fic for the TSCOSI Season Two Hiatus mini-bang, @tscosi-minibang! I am stoked to have worked with two brilliant artists AGAIN for this fic, @demonic-kitkats (whose fantastic artwork you can check out here) and @caedogeist-rights​​, who has made a podfic! of my fic!! which you can listen to on AO3! Ae also made the wonderful title card you see above 😍

Innumerable thanks are also due to Ehlana, whose tireless beta work made this fic so much better than it would have otherwise been.

Detailed content warnings and the full fic can be found on AO3, but read on for a small taster!

The brand new steam train was state of the art, or so her supervisor at Republico had told her – a fact that did very little to calm Violet’s nerves as she walked along the gleaming length of the Iris Express looking for an empty carriage. Or, failing that, a less-crowded one.

You might think that the presence of other passengers would have been reassuring, but as she took in the idling, hissing locomotive, Violet could feel the edges of a nervous attack tugging at her, threatening to drag her down, and if that happened she’d prefer to have as few people around to witness it as possible. Especially men making ‘helpful’ comments about female hysteria.

Finally, she drew level with the last carriage – the farthest away from the engine – and was relieved to find it mostly empty, with only a group of elderly women seated in a corner, talking quietly. Taking a last deep breath of dusty air, Violet boarded the Iris Express, gathering up her skirts so that they wouldn’t catch in the doorway. She made her way to the far corner and sat down, placing the leather case the company had entrusted to her on the seat beside her.

They had ten minutes until the train was due to depart. With any luck, no-one else would be getting into the carriage before then. Violet turned her head to look out of the window and tried not to think about the upcoming departure.

Get a grip on yourself, Violet, she thought sternly. Dozens of people have travelled by steam train without any problems. The corporation’s top engineers designed this and certified its safety. What are you afraid is going to happen?

“Hi!” a cheerful voice broke into her thoughts, and Violet did not almost jump out of her skin. She looked up to see a woman of around her age beaming down at her. “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb your thoughts – I just wondered if you’d mind some company?”

Violet stared inarticulately at her for a few moments, thrown (and wondering what was wrong with the numerous other empty seats in the carriage), before her manners kicked in. “No – no, please have a seat.”

The woman’s face relaxed into a smaller, almost relieved smile as she sat down across from Violet. She had kind eyes, Violet thought. She was tall, her skin a few shades darker than Violet’s, her dark hair braided and wound into a knot at the back of her head.

“Kay Grisham,” the woman introduced herself.

“Violet Liu,” Violet said.

“So, what brings you aboard the Iris Express, Violet?” asked Kay.

Violet was about to reply when a loud whistle from outside made her jump again and clutch at her seat. The train was getting ready to depart.

“First time on a steam train?” Kay asked knowingly as the train began to slowly move away from the station, thick clouds of smoke obscuring the view outside the window.

“Is it that obvious?” Violet asked, aiming for self-deprecating humour. Her voice only shook slightly, and Kay was gracious enough not to comment on it.

“I know the feeling,” she said. The train was now picking up speed, the whole carriage rattling as it moved over uneven joins in the track, and Violet focused on taking deep, even breaths. Hearing Kay’s voice actually helped – there was something calming about it. Maybe having company wasn’t so bad after all. “I doubt a steam train would come within ten miles of the town where I grew up – it was tiny. More of a village, really.”

Violet smiled. “I was born somewhere like that,” she said. “You either knew everyone else who lived there, or you knew someone who knew them. It was… a little confining, but cosy at the same time. Not a bad place to grow up.”

Kay laughed. “That sounds like Harmony Creek,” she said, and Violet froze.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Have you been there?”

Kay frowned slightly. “Harmony Creek? Yeah, that’s – where I grew up. Well, nearby anyway. My father had a general store on the outskirts of town, Grisham’s.”

“But… I grew up in Harmony Creek,” Violet said slowly. “We’re from the same town?” Her head was reeling slightly at the incredible coincidence – that hundreds of miles from her former home, she could have met someone who grew up in the same small, insular community. And yet – she couldn’t remember ever hearing about the Grisham family, or a general store on the edge of town. Could she? She racked her brains.

A broad grin was spreading across Kay’s face. “I thought your name was familiar!” she exclaimed. “Violet Liu – do you have a younger sister? Juniper?”

Violet’s eyes widened. “That’s right – we’re several years apart in age. Six years to be precise.”

Kay nodded like this had confirmed what she’d expected. “I have younger siblings, too – I think my brother and your sister used to play together. Jack Grisham?”

“Jack…” Violet tried to remember the names of any of Juniper’s playmates, but couldn’t. She’d been at the age where she was far too self-interested to pay attention to what her little sister had been doing, except when Juniper tried to play with any of her toys. “Sorry,” she said, embarrassed. “Clearly my memory is worse than I thought. You must think I’m so rude, not remembering you or your family.”

“No, no,” Kay rushed to reassure her. “It was more than a decade ago – it would be ridiculous to expect you to remember. My family did keep to ourselves – we weren’t heavily involved in town life, aside from the store.”

She paused, and then said with a bashful hesitancy, “I did see you around town once or twice and – think that I might like to talk to you. Ask you for a drink, even. But I never had the courage. Maybe if I had, I’d have been more memorable.”

Violet stared at her, aware that she was blushing fiercely. “W-well – it’s never too late,” she said. “Maybe after we get to the end of this hellish journey, we could… get a drink together.”

Kay looked surprised, and then favoured her with another delighted smile. “I’d like that,” she said. “Is it still a “hellish” journey, then?”

“I—” Violet stopped, and realised that it had been several minutes since she’d even thought about the fact that she was on a train – and the anxiousness that had been pressing against the back of her throat had faded significantly. “I’ve realised there are… some definite upsides to it.”

Read more 1800s gay flirting on AO3

#TSCOSI #The Strange Case of Starship Iris #tscosimb21 #Western AU #Steampunk AU #fic #just a useless gay outlaw and a disaster bi medic flirting on a train #well and also there's a plot but it's mostly there for decoration #Krejjh is an in-universe steampunk cosplayer #also gunfights! and automatons #all things you can enjoy in the full fic :D #mentions of period-typical sexism #but no period-typical homophobia or racism #this is a queer diverse 1800s damnit #also Doc Robinson became a surprisingly cool character in my fic and I dig it honestly

[welllpthisishappening]

Hello there, I see you're back on blue-line drabbles! I love them, I am obsessed with this universe. I don't know if I ever came back to say hi after I read all your big fics, but somehow I liked each even better than the last! I don't know how that's possible! But anyway, I think one of the best signs of a good writer/good story is when you're not ready to leave the world once you've finished, and Blue Line is one of the few fanfics I've read where even well after I've finished it, (cont)

(cont) I want to keep living in it and I end up writing my own fic of it in my head (strange, I know). Anyway, for whatever reason, I got really invested in Roland and Lizzie's relationship. Like, how did they end up dating after knowing each other for literally Lizzie's entire life? How did the adults react? Do you have any Lizzie/Roland stories up your sleeve? They would not go unread :)

————

Hello, yes, listen, this ask has lived rent free™ in my head since I first got it and I cannot properly convey how absolutely, goddamn wonderful it is. I am a broken record of outdated references , but it continues and will always amaze me that people are not only interested in Blue Line (more than three years!!! after I originally started posting) but are also interested in other characters in the story who are, for all intents and purposes, original characters at this point. Like the overall size my heart becomes when reading something like that could potentially cause a serious medical condition.

But, like, in a nice way.

So thank you, thank you, thank you. It genuinely warms the cockles of my entire soul. And, like, if you wanna share those fic ideas of the fic, you’ll never hear me say no. Just like I will never turn down the opportunity to write more stuff. Which is what’s under the cut. This stuff includes:

Roland and Lizzie’s first kiss, what I hope is some legitimate banter, more kissing, obvious flirting, and Roland being something of a sap.

Also, uh, it’s entirely possible that I have also already written: Roland and Lizzie’s first “I love you,” their wedding and some other stuff where their kid is involved. Seriously, guys, I am always down to write other relationships in this ‘verse.

————

It was, she figured, something almost passably close to, sort of resembling, definitely inching somewhere nearer to—

Assured. 

Unavoidable. 

Inexorable

Inevitable. 

That was a bad word. That last word. The third one was pretty impressive, honestly. Vocabulary, wise. She’d have to remember that one later. The last one, though. Made teeth Lizzie wasn’t even aware she possessed ache as she ground them together, a pronounced tension in her jaw that was likely affecting her shoulders as well. That word. An awful word. Boasted less-than-positive connotations, letters practically dripping with lack of self-control and overtly aggressive infatuation, but if the world expected her not to be a little in love with Roland Locksley by the time she turned fourteen and noticed that slight indentation in his right cheek every time he smiled, well, then the world had another thing coming. 

Dimple, that was the appropriate description. Another word. More words. Too many words. All of them bouncing off the slope of her skull and scratching at the back of her brain, nearly distracting her from what should have been the very pleasant buzz lingering beneath whatever biological thing made up her top and bottom lips. 

Which were parted in an emotion very similar to overwhelming surprise. 

That was stupid. 

The whole thing was stupid. God, maybe she was stupid. No, that wasn’t true. She’d made Dean’s List last semester. Stupid was—

A stupid word, really. Despite the blush rising in her cheeks and the wide eyes practically boring into her soul, bated breath that didn’t make any noise because that was what bated entailed, and no one else glanced in their direction. Not once. No one else noticed. 

That the whole world had flipped upside down.

Or right-side-up, maybe. Depending on how the next five minutes or so went. 

Because the last two minutes and twelve seconds, give or take, had seen Roland Locksley tilt his head and let his eyes flutter closed before his mouth found hers for the very first time — at midnight for God’s sake. On New Year’s Eve. Or New Year’s Day, she supposed. His parents were standing on the other side of the room.

Suggesting that Lizzie had ever been just a little in love with Roland was a rather monumental lie. 

As far as those things went. 

“So, uh—” she started, only to find blood in her mouth. From her teeth. Wayward and unpredictable, as they were. Biting down on the side of her tongue and Lizzie hated going to the dentist. Doing irreparable damage to her teeth on what was now legitimately New Year’s Day, in the middle of an annual party, was not on her schedule. 

Metaphorical as it might have been. 

She liked schedules. Had plans. Focus, even. People always said that about her — how focused she was, liked to throw around the word drive with startling regularity, as if they were amazed she wasn’t simply willing to rest on her laurels or the pair of last names she proudly toted around with her. As if Lizzie expected doors to swing open on a glance. 

Rather than consistently preparing herself to knock them down. 

She liked the challenge of it all. Appreciated the way disbelief always spiked something in her blood, and that was likely equal parts genetic predisposition and a product of her childhood, but right now, Lizzie was simply prepared to fight for the schedule she’d never allowed herself to mention to anyone else before and it wasn’t like they weren’t friends. 

Talked outside the group chat, even. 

That meant something. Definitely meant something. Had to mean something. Her lips felt like they’d been doused in liquid nitrogen. 

She didn’t know all the scientific properties of liquid nitrogen, but it always made that rather impressive cloud of steam-type stuff on cooking shows. So, it seemed very likely that it did something similar to cause whatever was happening in the region directly surrounding her mouth. Buzzing and tingling, and whatnot. 

When had Roland last blinked? Lizzie couldn’t remember. That would have been impressive in any other situation. Right now, it was sort, kind of, totally— Pissing her off. 

Color dotted his cheeks, no sign of the goddamn dimple because he wasn’t smiling, presumably couldn’t do that when it was clear he was so intent on pulling his lips into his mouth, and that felt a little insulting. Her tongue had just been in that mouth. 

Lizzie was fairly confident in the abilities of her tongue, so she wasn’t all that pleased to be replaced by a pair of lips that could have been doing much better work against the side of her neck. 

“If you sit here right now and tell me that you are,” Lizzie lifted a finger, “one, sorry,” another finger, “two, anything even remotely resembling regretful,” another finger, wiggling close enough to Roland’s nose to make him just a bit cross-eyed, “or, three, too old for me, I will throw my heel at that bruise I know exists on the back of your left calf.”

His lips twitched. 

He really had impossible eyelashes. Seemingly made so he could glance up from underneath them, to meet Lizzie’s steely expression with what she refused to believe could be cautious hope. Passable optimism, maybe. She’d have to look up what liquid nitrogen did, later. 

“I’m standing.” “I hate you.”

“You wanna go in order, or how do you want to work this?” “Where else are you bruised?” Roland laughed softly, a shift of his shoulders and tiny burst of air between barely parted lips. Feeling that tiny burst meant they were standing very close to each other. How they were standing remained another mystery. 

One of those great ones, Lizzie figured. The kind referenced when people talked about the sweeping potential of life and love and— Ah, fuck. 

“Please don’t threaten to attack me anywhere else,” he muttered, before quickly adding, “you gotta know this was not my end game, Liza.” Narrowing her eyes did nothing to temper the…tempest. Swirling in her gut. Threatening the back of her throat. Eating away at vocal cords and vocal boxes and the structural integrity of her entire goddamn larynx. Possibly her tongue, too, just to be especially efficient. 

“Really? Might’a been mine, actually.”

She’d always liked his eyes. 

How they could widen, and it wasn’t like...a normal brown. Nothing about the way he looked was ever dull. Drifted toward regularly excited, and the sparkles were probably a figment of her over-active teenage imagination, but Lizzie liked to think sometimes the sparkle came from her. Because of her, even. When she’d call because he always wanted to hear about her latest lecture and he’d call because sometimes Western swings were exhausting and loneliness-inducing and—

She knew. 

He knew. 

They knew each other.   

Grand scheme, the sparkle-prone eyes still weren’t particularly close to the dimple. On the list of things Lizzie liked. What left butterflies fluttering in her stomach and her heart hammering against her chest. Sparkle was probably a solid fourth. Behind the precise way his curls fell toward his eyebrows when he didn’t have time to get his hair cut. Which rarely happened during the season. Right now, it was happening right now. Well-defined strands that Lizzie knew felt even smoother than she’d ever theorized between her fingers, and she wasn’t sure what she was going to do with that information. 

Obsess over it, probably. 

For at least the next week, or so. 

Still. Eyes. Eyelashes. Too long and too bright, and that was the wrong description order and she was starting to teeter. On the edge of a rather dramatic free-fall. Into feelings and possibility, and this was way too dramatic. For both of them. 

“Don’t do that,” she mumbled, a scrunch of her nose that apparently demanded his thumb. Brushing against the bridge, and there wasn’t any caution there. No obvious fear or concern. For the way it left Lizzie’s lungs pinched, and there must have been a limit. 

To everything her internal organs could cope with in a limited span of time. 

“What was the last one on the list?” She swallowed. “Too old.” “Yuh-huh.” “Pretty flimsy as far as excuses go. You realize I’m not asking you to marry me right now, right?” He choked. On what, she wasn’t entirely sure. Only that it made her stomach heave and her teeth dig into her lower lip, and that was— “Because I know I said, end game,” Lizzie continued, giving in to the need to fill empty space with the sound of her own voice, “but that sounds like several pop culture references all at once, and you know how much I—”

“Hate to come across as disingenuous.” “Mattie’s the pop culture reference machine, anyway.” “Please don’t talk about Matt when I keep thinking about how much I want to kiss you again.” Her eyes, that time. Widened. Bugged. Did something unnatural. “Yeah?” “You’re kidding me, right?” “You’re not an old man.” Rolling his eyes, Roland’s tongue dragged across the front of his teeth. To torture her, apparently. “I was in college when you were a freshman in high school.” “Yuh-huh.” “Liza.” “Nah, nah,” Lizzie shook her head. Crossed her arms. Tried to stand up to her full height, but even the heels didn’t do much to add to the overall intimidation factor. Roland was doing an awful job of fighting off his smile. “Pulling out ancient nicknames is not—” “—It’s not a nickname; it’s literally letters in your name.” “Nick,” she leaned forward, “name. All personal-like.”

Making mistakes was not something she enjoyed very much. It was that Jones competitive streak. Plus, the Vankald stubborn streak. Created a monster of determination, who knew what she wanted, and feeling Roland’s fingers graze her cheek as a strand of hair hung limply in the minimal space between them was the result of Lizzie’s mistaken movement. 

Even as much as she might have wanted it. 

Goosebumps prickled her arms. Stole whatever oxygen she’d managed to get in the last forty-six seconds, or so. Her eyes fluttered. Head tilted. Towards the touch and the warmth, and for someone who spent so much time on the ice, he really was impossibly warm. 

“This is your fault.”

He didn’t move his fingers. Cupped her cheek, instead. “You were doing that eyebrow thing.” “Expand on that for me.” “Lifting ‘em. Happens sometimes. When you’re listening intently. Like you’re a little amazed by new information. They’re these stupid little arches on your face. Drives me nuts.” “The compliment was in there somewhere, I’m sure of it.” “I am so much older than you, Liza.” “Shouldn’t’a played out a bunch of teenage daydreams at once, then.” She was legitimately worried about the state of his tongue. Barely biting back her laugh, Lizzie let her eyes lift. To find Roland gaping at her, drooped shoulders and puppy-dog eyes. And that goddamn dimple. “C’mon, this isn’t...do you think I haven’t made out with people before?” “Wouldn’t classify what we just did as a makeout.” “No?” His eyes darkened. Shivering was probably not a good move, right? Right. Definitely. She wasn’t shivering. It was just...January. And inside. With dozens of people around them. “I would not, no,” Roland said, and the drop in overall volume was some sort of trick. Or, something. 

“How many people do you think you’ve made out with? Ballpark it for me.” “No.” “Is the issue a lack of appropriate numbers to tally that mark, or—” She bit her tongue, again. At the flash of amused frustration sweeping his face and polluting the molecules of whatever air was hovering between them. Permeating was a better word. Lizzie really needed to work on all of that. Words. Being slightly less jealous of potential make outs that didn’t have anything to do with her and definitely happened because there had to be other people out there in the world who simply could not cope with the existence of that dimple. 

“How many people have you made out with, then?” “Scores,” Lizzie snarled, only to get immediately scoffed at. “I’m really, incredibly popular.” “Oh, I’ve got no doubt.” “Boatloads of guys. Lining up to,” she pointed an imperious finger at her mouth, “make out with this.” “Your well-defined chin?” “I’m going to take my shoe off.” “Draw attention with a move like that.” Whatever fight she had didn’t immediately die. It just, sort of, fell. At her feet, threatening all the bones there and there were too many. All of them far too fragile. For whatever metaphor she was running with at the moment. “And we’re not trying to do that, huh? Draw attention.” “Shouldn’t you be out sowing wild oats?” “Really know how to charm a girl,” she grumbled, and that got her a smile. No scoff. Not even the hint of a smile. The whiplash was hurting her neck. “Trust me, the oats have appropriately sowed. If I was ever particularly inclined to farm work.” “I’m starting to be vaguely embarrassed by all of this.” “Good.” Wasn’t quite a scoff. Was more like a half-hearted laugh, and a tinge of desire and that was better than the other emotions, but the decreasing level of Roland’s eyebrows gave her pause. “What about the status of your oats?”

“Well sowed, rookie season,” Roland said. 

“You’re going to change the name on your jersey.” “Not sure that particular fact has a lot to do with anything else. Seven years, Liza.” “I’m perfectly capable of doing math, you know I took that stats class once.” “Because I double checked everything you turned in.” “Makes you slightly less of an idiot than the vibe you're giving off right now.” “A freeway or compliments.” Pulling in a deep inhale through her nose, Lizzie didn’t miss the way Roland’s gaze fell. To the neckline of her dress, lingering on the jut of her collarbones for a few seconds longer than a strictly platonic friendship should allow, and they were friends. Still. She knew that as well as she knew that he believed she thought he was simply being clever with nicknames. 

And not making vaguely incorrect My Fair Lady references. 

Because he’d always been a little annoyed that Eliza had gone back to Henry Higgins. Instead of Freddie.

It was really impossible not to be a little in love with him at all times. 

“You’re really going to hyphenate?” Roland nodded. “Think of all the new jerseys they’ll sell.” “By the box-load, and Gina’s gonna buy the entire stock. She’s—that’s really nice, you know.” “Just a fact. Little late, but—” He shrugged. Lizzie’s smile threatened to split her face. In that same nice way, she’d been talking about. Her lips were still buzzing. She might have been buzzing. With adrenaline. Happiness. The near-desperate desire to find some type of closet and get her fingers back in Roland’s questionably long hair. 

“Of naming conventions.” She couldn’t begin to guess what the record was for shoulder shifts in an emotionally charged conversation between two people who were simultaneously ignoring the point of the conversation, but Lizzie also knew her eyebrows had been halfway up her face as he’d detailed the reasons for making his jersey say Mills-Locksley. From here on out. 

Maybe that was the top of the list, actually. 

He was a good guy. 

Had always been a good guy. The best guy, really. 

Falling into that chasm wasn’t nearly as terrifying as Lizzie expected it to be. 

“Why’d you do it?” Roland’s lips disappeared. His tongue moved, again. She was staring at the area around his tongue. So, like, his mouth. Directly at his mouth. “Because, I uh—have wanted to?” “Oh, don’t phrase that like a question.” “Wanted to,” he repeated, a statement of fact with a certain amount of conviction. Enough to make Lizzie’s pulse sputter. “Which is kind of freaking me out.” “Come back with more compliments.” “Your dress nearly made me fall over.” “Better, actually,” she laughed. 

He ran his fingers through his hair. “Made sense at the time.” “Be more specific.” “Kissing you,” Roland said, enough emphasis that he leaned forward half an inch as well. It was a miracle their noses didn’t collide. Not the most impressive miracle, but—counted. “If I tell you that you might be my best friend does that make the lamest professional hockey player alive?” “Yes, absolutely.” “Matt might challenge you to a duel if he hears me talking like this, you know.” “God, Locksley, didn’t we just talk about the Mattie rules? Also, that made it sound like Mattie wants to kiss you too, so...”

He chuckled. Fingers still tugging on the back of his hair, like he was trying to ground himself in the pull and the self-inflicted tension, Roland looked up. Back at her. And Lizzie didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink. Held her position and prepared herself to defend the schedule she’d only ever allowed herself to hope for in the silence of that one corner in her brain. 

Filled, as it was, with memories. Of conversations that didn’t have anything to do with hockey. Others that did. Arguing over blue line placement in the brownstone and college rankings. Of movies watched on two different laptops in different corners of the country, bad jokes, and consistent updates, that deep-rooted understanding that came from a life full of expectations and the exact opposite. No overt pressure, but the need to prove yourself anyway, if only because of the name on the back of the jersey, and Lizzie was going to have to buy a new jersey. 

“You like me? Yes, or no?” Roland smiled. Wide and honest, the kind that ensured the dimple was on prominent display. “Yes.” “I am a grown adult? Yes, or no?” Crinkles appeared around his eyes. From the smile. 

“Yes.” “Meaning I get to make my own choices. Romantically, or otherwise. Yes, or no?” “Obviously.” “Wasn’t one of the options.” “Yes,” Roland corrected, fingers trailing over the bend of her elbow. Lizzie hadn’t uncrossed her arms. Or remembered when she’d crossed them in the first place. 

“Ok, good. Same page, then.” “Liza.” “Locksley.” Lifting her eyebrows wasn’t a challenge, per se. Was closer to instinct, really. Specifics didn’t matter, honestly. She did that thing with her eyebrows, and he did that thing with his mouth, the same one she was staring at and hoping would move closer to her, and then—

Well, it did. 

Hands found Lizzie’s hips, pulling her forward sharply enough that she let out a soft grunt. From the feel of hips bumping against hers, and she honestly wasn’t sure who hissed in their next inhale, only that it did something to the flutter-like state of her pulse and the erratic nature of her heart, and it was slow and fast and good and great and not a single person noticed. 

Miracles were arriving en masse, apparently. 

Pushing her fingers into Roland’s hair got Lizzie another hum of approval, the first brush of his tongue making her lips part and her head fall to the side, but then his hand was wrapped around the back of her neck, and she could not be expected to pay attention to anything except the semi-consistent swipe of his thumb against her skin. It left more goosebumps. Caused another chuckle, the kind that rumbled through her and resonated around her, a tiny bubble of that same cautious optimism from before. 

Like a spark. 

Fanning flames and threatening to burn everything because if this didn’t work, then Lizzie wasn’t sure what would, and that was scary and overwhelming and terrifying was a synonym, but she really was working with very limited word-based resources when Roland’s thumb kept moving. Tracing her. Committing the feel to memory, and she wasn’t sure when they’d established the rocking pattern they were moving in, but something deep in the center of her trusted it. 

Someone who regularly strapped knives to his feet and raced around at top speed knew how to stay balanced. And she was a stubborn idiot. Who got what she wanted. 

“Is part of liking me because I told you I didn’t think it was embarrassing that you still got a little emotional about Miracle on 34th Street?” Laughter pushed past her lips. Took root in the pit of her stomach and the spaces between her ribs. Laced through her heart. In the kind of way that cemented itself. Right in the middle of Lizzie. Right in the middle of this. Them. 

There was a them, now. 

“Was definitely a factor, yeah,” Roland said, not bothering to pull away. “You, uh—you snuck up on me a little, Liza.” “Peak romance.” “Want me to talk about your dress some more?” She shook her head. “Unnecessary. And you didn’t.” “That might be part of the problem.” “Nursing old crushes, you mean?” Her hair hit her cheek. And his hand. He couldn’t seem to let go of her. “Nah, this wasn’t like...there was no torch, not really. I—I wasn’t hanging posters of you on my wall if that’s the picture you’ve painted for yourself.” “Kinda disappointing, admittedly.” “Pick a lane, babe.” No sparkle, that time. Just flash and want and the very thin line Lizzie’s lips had become. “Be more specific,” Roland repeated softly. “You’re not standing on a pedestal. Just you, Rol, as is.” He waited. That was fair. There should have been more. Should have been a detailed list of all the reasons the grown-up version of her liked so many parts of the grown-up version of him, but that all felt a little extraneous when she was still thinking about closet-type possibilities and that stubborn streak was a mile wide, anyway. 

Roland nodded once. “Good.”

Both of them jumped. At the pop of another champagne bottle and Lizzie never understood how Regina managed to order so much champagne every year, but she felt a bit like she was floating on the bubbles, and they didn’t decide. Explicitly. To keep the whole thing—

Secret. 

Another bad word. With bad connotations and shadows that clung to the definition, but this was them and only them and, for right now, that was enough. And if no one noticed the way Roland’s hand drifted over the small of Lizzie’s back during David’s speech, then that was a miracle she was willing to accept. 

#blue line rambles #blue line one shots #these really are just original characters at this point #i have also written: #matt and claire meeting for the first time #henry and ella meeting for the first time #stuff about peggy and jeremy humbert #and i've got a whole list of will x belle stuff #in case it wasn't ovbious people still aren't responding to my emails #oh! also roland and lizzie's engagement #i wrote that too #also if you are so inclined: wilder days by morgan wade played like four times while i wrote this #mylifeisalifestyle #laura rambles

[ladyherenya]

My favourite thing this year has been the Korean drama Crash Landing on You (2019-20).

It has something of a ridiculous title (I’ve ended up calling it Crash Landing or sometimes just Crash). But, to be fair, North and South was already taken.

“I can go to Africa and even Antarctica but not here. It’s a shame that you live here.” “It’s a shame that you live there.” -- episode three

To my great amusement, every month or so, Netflix has sent me an email that’s said: “Don’t forget to finish Crash Landing on You” or “Remember this? Watch it again: Crash Landing on You” or “Rewatch your favourite moments - Watch it again: Crash Landing on You…”

And I’m like: NETFLIX! Seriously, WHAT do you THINK I’M DOING?

I have now watched Crash Landing on You five times.

There are several reasons for this:

I successfully dragged other family members down this particular rabbit hole, and in a pandemic season, when things have been unpredictable (or cancelled), rewatching Crash Landing has been an appealing and comfortably-familiar distraction, as well as the source of many, many long, analytical fandom-y conversations, which has been fun.

I needed to watch it more than once to straighten out all the pieces of the story in my head. With 16 episodes, each over an hour long, it’s one of the longest stories I’ve ever watched. I’ve seen other TV series with more episodes, but nearly all have been much more episodic, rather than telling one continuous story.  

I kept noticing details that I’d previously missed because I’d been focused on the subtitles or that I hadn’t properly understood some cultural nuance. And some things are ambiguous in translation -- in a good way, a fodder-for-discussion way.

I have ALWAYS rewatched (or reread) my favourite stories. And Crash Landing fits right in with those. Someone in my family described it as: “Like Lord of the Rings on steroids!” However, I think it actually has far more in common -- visually and thematically, and also in terms of my willingness to discuss the characters as if they were real people -- with my favourite historical dramas.

In terms of story, Crash Landing is easy enough to summarise: A South Korean businesswoman is paragliding when a freak storm blows her across the border; she’s discovered by a North Korean captain, who hides her and helps her get home.

But I’m going to need more words to explain why I fell in love with it.

It is fascinating and, first time round, tense and unpredictable. It’s funny and very meta -- very aware of the tropes it’s playing with and of parallels and contrasts within the story. It’s visually and aesthetically pleasing, and the soundtrack grew on me.

There are a number of coincidences and a few ridiculous fight scenes, but the emotions are intensely real and so are the consequences. It has camaraderie and found-family and thoughtfully-complicated family relationships. There are characters I love, and characters who surprised me, and so much time given to character development!  It’s romantic. There’s a fake engagement (a favourite trope of mine) and while I’m not a fan of love triangles, I liked how this quadrangle-tangle is handled. And the obstacles to the romance are satisfyingly realistic; characters have sensible reasons for the choices they make.

I love how the story uses flashbacks, particularly the post-credit scenes.

The final episode isn’t perfect, but given that a perfectly happy ending would, realistically,  require the reunification of north and south, I thought it came very close.

Let me elaborate.

Cut for sheer verbosity, rather than spoilers. (I’m not allowing myself to list spoiler-ish examples or dive into analysing my favourite scenes, because then I wouldn’t just be here all night, I’d be here all week).

⬦ Fascinating, tense, unpredictable: I knew almost nothing about life in North Korea, so that was fascinating and made the story harder to predict, as I couldn’t anticipate what options the characters had or what obstacles might arise. And that isn’t the only reason I found it tense -- at different times, different characters are greatly at risk if discovered; there are occasions when characters are in danger of physical violence or are injured; and they have a couple of dilemmas to which there are just not easy solutions (See also: Obstacles for romance).

While I’m on the subject of the setting, although I cannot judge how accurate this portrayal of the north was, it’s portrayal of people as people was incredibly convincing. It’s a society where people have differences in personality and in circumstances. There are orphans begging in the market, people who can afford to stay in fancy hotels -- and a lot of people somewhere in between. In the military village, people have varying attitudes, tastes in clothes, privileges, standards of living, etc. Their lifestyle differs from that in Pyongyang, and also in other parts of the country. Amongst the military, some men are compassionate, some are corrupt and some are not obviously one or the other.

Moreover, it’s clear that corruption and villainy isn’t just in the north. In the south, as in the north, we see a range of humanity -- selfishness, good friends, complicated families, happy marriages, criminal behaviour, and so on.

I’ve read an article or two suggesting that the least realistic aspect is Ri Jeong Hyeok being such a sympathetic and honourable officer. I think it’s interesting that he clearly isn’t a typical captain -- he wanted a different career, he’s spent time studying overseas (in a democratic country), and, perhaps most importantly, his father’s position gives him protection from pressures many others face. He has the privilege of being able to afford to act with integrity, and of encouraging such behaviour in the men he leads.

⬦ Humour and meta: I’ve included these two together, because so much of the story’s self-awareness and intertextuality is humorous. I am very amused by so many things -- the village women’s interactions, Se-ri’s wit and banter, Jeong Hyeok’s facial expressions, the duckling's reactions, the way Ju Meok keeps comparing things to South Korean dramas:

Ju Meok: “I haven’t seen any drama characters that don’t fall in love in that situation. That’s how they all fall in love.”

(Because my knowledge of Korean drama is limited, there are a few cameos and references which I suspect would be amusing if one was in the know. The exception is the taxi driver singing, who was funny even without recognising the actor.)

I love the commentary that comes from all the moments when other characters witness the unfolding romance. Others’ reactions are often memorably hilarious -- some of my favouritest scenes fall into this category. (The customs officer! Jeong Hyeok’s dad!) They introduce humour and self-awareness into these moments, allowing the story to acknowledge “Yeah, we know these two are being ridiculous/sappy/emotional”. These moments reveal people’s attitudes towards displays of affection, particularly in the north, and their different attitudes towards Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s relationship.  

And as their relationship changes, Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok’s awareness of being watched and commented upon changes, too.

Which leads me to…

⬦ Contrasts and parallels: So many scenes which echo/parallel earlier scenes. Most obviously, this allows the story to compare and contrast the north and south, but it also shows changes in time, differences between characters, and differences in relationships too. Sometimes all at once!

 It means some plot developments weren’t totally unexpected -- it was Oh, of COURSE, we’re going to now see that character in this situation! or OBVIOUSLY we now have to see what this is like in the south!

But I thought it was really effective storytelling and I so much enjoyed spotting and analysing these moments.

⬦ Yoon Se-ri and Ri Jeong Hyeok: These two are the heart of the story and there are so many things I love about them. Like how, even though Se-ri is dependent upon Jeong Hyeok to hide and help her -- even though they’re initially hesitant about a romantic relationship -- they quickly become very protective of each other. Often to the point of willingly risking their own safety. Often to the point of exasperating the other. It’s great.

 That’s not the only thing they discover they have in common. They share some interests. They’re both highly intelligent, driven, successful leaders (he’s a captain, she’s a CEO) who are very private, lonely people carrying around grief about their family and their past. Neither of them likes to reveal their emotions -- he tries to conceal his by suppressing his facial expressions and avoiding answering questions, while Se-ri hides behind play-acting.  

I like watching Se-ri trying to get to know Jeong Hyeok. She isn’t deterred by his silences (unlike someone else) and she keeps the conversation going even when he doesn’t respond. She watches him closely, and says or does things to provoke a reaction. Poke, poke, poke.

And the time they spend together is really revealing. They share meals, they share a house. They see how the other responds under pressure, but also in various social and domestic situations. They see each other in a range of moods: calm, happy, grumpy, scared, tired, upset, unwell. Crash Landing takes advantage of spending sixteen episodes with these characters. Going through so many different experiences together, they learn a lot about each other -- about each other’s values, tastes and temperament -- and this means the audience gets a deeper, more nuanced understanding of who they are, too.  

Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok are also well-matched in how they show they appreciate each other -- she delights in giving presents, and he is quick to notice things Se-ri might need or like.

And it’s very satisfying when they open up, or when they cry in front of each other, because you know that they don’t do this lightly or easily.

⬦ Obstacles for romance, love triangle quadrangle-tangle: I appreciate that the obstacles in this story are not contrived or fueled by needless misunderstandings.  Se-ri and Jeong Hyeok have really solid, sensible reasons to be hesitant to first recognise, then admit to, and then act upon, a romantic attraction. Even once they realise that getting Se-ri home is going to take longer than they’d hoped and she’s pretending to be Jeong Hyeok’s fiancée, romance between them is still a road that leads nowhere. She isn’t safe staying in the north and he would endanger his family if he defected to the south, and they both accept that. And they’re reticent about sharing vulnerable feelings, and Jeong Hyeok is actually engaged to someone else.

But once they really open up to each other, the narrative conflict revolves around their circumstances, rather than doubts or misunderstandings they have about each other. Because the situations they face are dangerous and difficult, with no obvious or straightforward path to a happy ending, there’s quite enough tension to drive the story forward. They still have a couple of misunderstandings, but I like how they handle those, and I like that they don’t have more of them.

As for the love triangle, it doesn’t have the angst of someone torn between, or even attracted to, two people. Jeong Hyeok’s engagement has been arranged. Having feelings for someone else doesn’t change the foundation of that engagement, nor the pressure to please his family. He doesn’t love or know his fiancée -- not well enough to risk revealing Se-ri’s true identity to her. He’s honest with Se-ri and he makes an effort with Dan.  

(I have a theory that, if he had been in love before, he might be quicker to recognise how some of his behaviour towards Se-ri fosters intimacy and sends her messages he doesn’t intend, but this is all new for him.)

He tries not to mislead or hurt Dan, but she’s hurt nonetheless, and I like that Crash Landing doesn’t gloss over that. It explores why she’s hurt, why she’s so reluctant to let him go and why their relationship never really worked. (Neither of them are good at communicating with each other, and I think she takes some of the things he does for her for granted, rather than recognising them as overtures and as opportunities to get to know him better.)

Dan is not just a romantic rival, nor a narrative complication, but a person whose concerns and desire are taken seriously, and who is given space to grow.

Which leads me to...

⬦ Surprising characters, thoughtfully-complicated family relationships: As mentioned, Crash Landing takes advantage of the amount of character development 16 episodes allows, and not just for its lead couple. I was surprised by how much my opinion of certain characters changed, as I came to understand them better.

The character I was most surprised by was Gu Seung-jun.

Each time I’ve watched this, I’ve liked Dan more. I have a lot of sympathy for her now. I also like her mother, even though she’s embarrassingly over the top, because she cares fiercely about her daughter and about advocating for her.

Se-ri’s dysfunctional family are more nuanced than I expected, too. In particular, I love the attention the story gives to Se-ri’s relationship with her step-mother. I was expecting Se-ri’s father to play a larger role, perhaps because he’s nominally the one with the power and influence, and at first Se-ri’s mother seems so passive. But it was really interesting to understand where she’s coming from, why her relationship with Se-ri is broken and sad. The steps the two of them take towards rebuilding their relationship are believable.

(On a related thought, I appreciate a lot of the choices this makes in addressing these women’s mental health struggles. One or two moments arguably could have been handled better, but on the whole it’s realistically optimistic, with enough detail so that we understand the seriousness -- the impact it’s had on these women’s lives.)

⬦ Camaraderie, found family and the ducklings: Se-ri doesn’t spend as much time with the village women as she does with Jeong Hyeok and his soldiers, and when she does, she’s play-acting, in order to keep her identity a secret. But I like how they nevertheless support her, and how meeting her sparks change their dynamic with each other. They grow closer and become much better at supporting each other. It’s really heartwarming.

We gave many of the characters codenames, so we could discuss them when we were still learning their names. (I was surprised by how long it took me to learn some of the characters’ names.  Because so many were unfamiliar to me, they were harder to remember; I wasn’t always sure, from just reading the subtitles, how all of them were pronounced, and sometimes it was hard to separate the sound of the names from surrounding sentences, especially when, due to honorifics and titles and so on, subtitles don’t always match exactly what is being said.) Jeong Hyeok’s men are “the ducklings”, inspired by something I saw on Tumblr: Gwang Beom is “Handsome Duckling”, Ju Meok is “Drama Duckling” and Chi Su is just the sergeant.) I love how they function as a found-family, especially in contrast to Se-ri’s real family. They’re funny, loyal and caring, and in spite of their different personalities, work well together as a team. I enjoyed seeing the different relationships they have with each other, with Jeong Hyeok and Se-ri, and how some of those relationships change. And they’re so protective they are of Eun Dong!

Man Bok has an interesting arc -- I could have mentioned him under Surprising characters. I really like how he fits into this story, how he’s connected to the mystery Jeong Hyeok is investigating, how he becomes involved with the rest of the characters and has these moments when he plays a significant role. Or gets to be funny. I like the contrast and parallels too -- he’s in a different place in his life to the ducklings, and he gets opportunities to revisit past choices he regrets.

And I’m trying not to write essays about all the characters, and it’s ahhh, I have too many thoughts and feelings about them all!

⬦ Satisfyingly realistic: I like how -- one or two ridiculous fight scenes and an unrealistic paragliding scene aside -- things which happen have believable consequences. Particularly emotionally. We see men cry! A lot! And it always feels like a genuine expression of emotion, not gratuitous or overwrought. (Well, okay, there’s a very minor character who’s a bit over the top but he’s very minor.)

When one of the characters is gravely ill, she looks it, I found it oddly satisfying that she doesn’t have to be pretty all the time.

And I wasn’t sure if this belonged here or under “Visual details” but I love the attention given to Se-ri’s clothes. She cares a lot about fashion and in the north her clothing choices indicate that she cares a lot about her appearance, while making do with a limited wardrobe and still dressing for warmth.  (I’m happy to handwave that she seems to have more clothes than would realistically fit in those shopping bags.) I appreciated the practical streak, and, as winter wore on here, became envious of one of her outfits.

I don’t personally like the style of Se-ri chooses for work, but it’s different it is from what she wore in the north and from what she wears at home -- her power-dressing is like a uniform or a statement of persona she projects in her working life, and not necessarily a reflection of her personal tastes.

⬦ Visual details: I love so many of the visuals. Gorgeous scenery, interesting settings and clever framing for significant scenes. The sky, a place without borders, often becomes a focus and there’s a thematically-relevant flight motif -- paragliders, birds and kites.

I did not start noticing the   product placement until a rewatch, when I stopped to think about how often they went to Subway. The first time, it just seemed like a commentary on south-versus-north, and then I was just baffled-yet-amused by it all. (That sort of thing does not make me want to eat fried chicken...)

⬦ Soundtrack: The first time round, I liked the instrumental score and the presence of piano music actually in the story. As I kept rewatching, the rest of the soundtrack slowly but steadily grew on me, and I found myself liking the songs more and more.  

Now I not only recognise them by name, I can recall most of them well enough to hum them and know which scenes they’re associated with. Which is a lot harder when the lyrics are in a language I don’t speak and so I can’t use them as a prompt for memory.

⬦ Flashbacks: Instead of “previously-on” segments, Crash Landing employs lots of flashbacks whenever it wants to remind the audience of something.

Sometimes, instead of just repeating part of an earlier scene, it takes the opportunity to show the same moment from different angles or from a different character’s perspective,  or to juxtapose it with a different scene or to introduce new information. This was really effective. And when flashbacks were a simple repeat, I was usually happy to revisit important moments in the story (and sometimes, having a different person translating the subtitles meant there was a slightly different perspective on the dialogue).

Then there are the post-credit flashbacks, quite a few of which take places years earlier. I love how they’re puzzle pieces about the characters’ pasts and the connections between them.

⬦ The end:  The first time round, after watching the penultimate episode I was so engrossed in the story and so invested in the characters that I had trouble sleeping and I went around the next day with this tight, anxious feeling, unable to get the story out of my head.

The final episode is an emotional rollercoaster. SO. MANY. FEELINGS. There’s one particular scene which packs a powerful punch -- it’s exceptionally emotional and beautifully filmed. I love it, but I’m  glad we get the aftermath too.

It isn’t a perfect ending, but as I said, I don’t think there was a perfect ending was possible, not one that was both realistic and satisfying. But this comes very close. In the very final scenes, not everything is resolved or explained, and I like how that ambiguity is open to interpretation -- I like that there are some gaps for the viewer to fill in for oneself, however one prefers to imagine the characters’ lives going forward.

I know I could easily write another four thousand words about this story -- there are aspects I haven’t really discussed but this seems like a good place to stop. For now. I really like this story. I expect I’ll watch it all again soon.

#Herenya recommends things #Crash Landing on You #thoughts I have them #Yet another CLOY rewatch

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | June 2020

Another 28th, another fic rec for you. Here are all the fics I read and loved this month. Happy reading!

✸ Caves End | jacaranda_bloom | famous/not famous - slow burn - hurt/comfort - angst - minor injury - miscommunication - fluff - 40k When a recurring injury cuts short Harry’s time as the Captain of the English Football Team, he needs to rethink his career and his future. His best mate and manager, Niall, decides that what Harry really needs is a change of scenery, time to relax, and to get some perspective on his life. What Harry doesn’t expect is for them to end up in Australia, on a farm, with the most gorgeous man he’s ever laid eyes on. OR the one where Harry has lost his future, Louis has lost his past, but maybe together, they can find a way through the dark.

✸ Just for Tonight (I can be yours) | SadaVeniren | a/b/o - royalty - secret identity - secret realtionship - arranged marriage - mpreg - 42k Harry, prince of Cestrescir, has been betrothed to Ludvic, prince of Yorvik, since birth. He'd accepted a loveless marriage as his duty to his country, until an accident threw him in the path of a gentle alpha

✸ Falling in the Wrong Direction | FallingLikeThis | past character death - grief/mourning - homophobia - internalized homophobia - secrets - angst - fluff - hurt/comfort - emotional hurt/comfort - enemies to friends to lovers - 25k When Harry’s fiancé, Liam, passes away just before their wedding, he doesn’t know how to cope. As time goes on, Harry learns to heal, but is left living in the house his fiancé used to share with his best friends and Harry is uncovering a lot of secrets he didn’t know Liam had... while possibly falling for the one person who helped Liam keep them from him. Harry never quite got along with Louis, but maybe he’s the one person who can help Harry bridge the gap between the life he thought he would have and the one he is now living. A Catch and Release au

✸ we can only look behind | hereforlou | growing up together - childhood friends - slow burn - friends to lovers - friends with benefits - pining - internalized homophibia - Coming Out - 66k His mum said there was no getting an idea out of his head once it was stuck in there and Harry thought she was right. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose - his ideas were just really sticky. (Or, the one where Harry fixates through the years.)

✸ somewhere in between lightning | jassy117, nauticalleeds, shiningdistractionwrites | Love Island Au - exes to lovers - angst - pining - miscommunication - fluff - reality show - 99k As Louis took another bite, he thought back to how he had once believed that the hardest thing about being on Love Island would be Liam handling his social media. He had been wrong. It was Harry Styles, peeking over at Louis as he forked a pancake into his mouth, and gauging his reaction. It was having to quench the swelling of his heart, which felt simultaneously like hope and the breaking of a thousand pieces. --- A summer gone wrong (or very right) when, under Liam’s persuasion, Louis finds himself drunkenly applying for Love Island, and getting accepted. Oh, well. A summer spent on an island paradise couldn’t be all that bad, right? Imagine his surprise when Louis arrives in sunny Majorca to find that his first love and ex-boyfriend, Harry, is another contestant, about to capture the hearts of everyone in the villa. Most normal people don’t have to face their ex on an otherwise straight TV show. Most normal people don’t fall for their ex again in front of the whole nation, either. Too bad this whole situation isn’t normal.

✸ Dreams Once Remembered | Chelsea Frew (chelseafrew) | rape/non-con - kidnapping - mpreg - unplanned pregnancy - angst - emotional hurt/comfort therapy - child loss - kid fic - rape recovery - 78k 16-year-old Harry Styles is on the verge of a life-changing moment. He has been put in a band on The X-Factor and he and his new bandmates are about to get ready for a glorious adventure together. In one terrible moment, all of that is stolen from Harry. Kidnapped, Harry spends the next seven-and-a half-years in a twelve-by-twelve shed, suffering repeated assault at the hands of his captor. One of these assaults results in a daughter Harry has raised entirely on his own in the small space they call Room. Now that Darcy is five, Harry is determined that she be allowed to experience the real world, and he devises a plan for them to escape. Should they escape, there are many questions. Can Darcy adjust to the outside world? Can Harry start over? What kind of relationship, if any, can he have with the band that moved on without him? Even with success far from assured, Harry knows he has to take a chance. For him, and for his little girl.

✸ No Friends and An Empty Heart | Maelstrom_Roots | Fleabag AU - mentions of suicide - attempted sexual assault - therapy - sex addicition - angst - grief/mourning - 36k When Louis Tomlinson gets an invitation for dinner with the family he's been estranged from for a year, he has only one goal: to get his sister to talk to him again. But when an unexpected guest in the form of a hot priest is also at the dinner table, Louis may have to accept that the universe has other plans for him. A Fleabag Season 2 AU featuring Fleabag Louis Tomlinson and Hot Priest Harry Styles.

✸ Still the One | dandelionfairies | kid fic - past cheating - post-divorce - 54k Harry was 15 when he met Louis, 17 when they made love for the first time, 19 when they got engaged and married. One would think he has a perfect life, right? It’s what he thought. He was 21 when he learned that Louis had an affair. It was only one time. That’s what Louis had told him. Harry tried to forgive him. He tried to move on from that horrible moment, but he couldn’t. It was his 22nd birthday when he signed the divorce papers, leaving England behind. After finding himself living in a small town in Nebraska, Harry learns to live on his own. He becomes a preschool teacher at the local school and spends his free time continuing his own painting. He’s even been lucky enough to sell a few pieces. He’s 25 when his life is turned upside down once again by the single father who has moved into the house on the property he just happens to park his trailer.

✸ You Left all your Dreams on the Threshing Floor | LadyLondonderry | fashion - journalism - bullying - past sexual assault - 27k Marcel will go home after work and he’ll clean his vest and he’ll bleach his shirt and tomorrow will be a new day. He’s got other things that he can spend his time focusing on. How to fit in a third quote onto the cover of the fall issue of Mod Mag without covering any details in the model’s face, for instance. Maybe he’ll switch to gluten-free banana bread for the meeting on Friday. He knows some co-workers likes to eat gluten free, at least. Someone will have to accept his friendship advances eventually. They’ll have to. Right? - Louis Tomlinson gets a job at Mod Magazine. He’s quickly drawn to the one person in the office who won’t give him (or anyone) the time of day; Marcel Styles, Senior Layout Editor.

✸ Shadows Come With The Pain That You're Running From (Love Was Something You've Never Heard Enough) | Anonymous | a/b/o - emotional hurt/comfort - angst - fluff - pack dynamics - mutual pining - secrets - slow burn - 51k “Thanks, Ni, I guess I needed to hear that,” Harry sighed and wrapped his own arms around Niall and squeezed him tightly not caring if Liam would be mad. He missed Niall so much. “Does it really come as a surprise to you that I’m right? Shaking my head, Haz. You should know me better,” the brunette teased. Harry giggled again. “You know Hazza, you really are so different to all the other alphas out there. You’re soft, caring, cuddly and sweet and those damn dimples. So freaking pretty, it’s almost annoying. I would hate you if you weren’t my best friend. You’d really be a brilliant omega. Nature really did a number here,” Niall mumbled. It was his turn to smash his nose into Harry’s neck and Harry was extremely thankful for that because he wasn’t sure he had his facial expression in check at all. Or a Band AU in which Harry isn't allowed to be who he really is and the North American Tour might bring some unexpected truths into the web of lies and also a bit of heat that has very little to do with the summer in the US.

✸ Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha | Anonymous | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - secret identity - famous/not famous - fake/pretend relationship - rape/non-con - public humiliation - anxiety - depression - sex work - 18k Hearing it now almost made Harry hang up the phone, but he sighed and pressed one to be connected to one of their alpha operators. He’d already committed to this low point in his life and hanging up meant he couldn’t wallow in it and he was in a wallowing mood. “You are being connected to alpha operator number forty-four. Rogue will be with you shortly.” The name was said in a different voice like a voice mailbox someone might have on their office phone. It made him snort out a laugh at how stupid it all was. It felt like a budget sex line. or famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.

✸ Iron Hearts, Fire Souls | hopelesswriter | a/b/o - non-traditional a/b/o - alpha/alpha - co-workers - fluff - 26k "Lou..." “I know, Harry! I know what you’ll say, we can’t right? We can’t help each other’s needs? We can’t be what the other needs? But fuck, what about what we want?! And I say we because you’ve been saying yes to all of our dates and you've been flirting back all this time and-“ He took a deep breath. “And there is nothing that I want more right now than to kiss you.” Or the one where Harry and Louis are two single and unmated Lawyer Alphas that have to share an office and even though they shouldn't be that attracted to each other's scents, it sure isn't a big deal, right? I mean, what could go wrong?

✸ last blues for bloody knuckles | creamcoffeelou | a/b/o - strangers to lovers to strangers to lovers - mob au - religious themes - pregnancy - angst - 34k “Hi, love,” A too-familiar voice greeted him from the other side of the door. He had a cigarette dangling from his lips that he brought between two fingers as his eyes raked over Louis. All Louis could do was stare, wide-eyed at the alpha that he’d left behind so many years ago. “Harry?” His voice felt far away, like it wasn’t him that was speaking. On the other side of the door stood the one man he never thought he’d see again, and maybe the only man he never wanted to see again. A few steps behind him stood Liam and someone else he didn’t recognize, with guns tucked into their front pockets. “I need you to come with me.” OR Styles was a name everyone knew. It had evolved into something of a fairy tale, a far away problem that normal people didn’t have to deal with. Louis never thought he’d find himself falling in love with him. When he finds himself pregnant with Harry’s child, he knows he has to leave the life, and Harry, behind. For her sake. He never expected Harry to show back up on his doorstep five years later. A mob au.

✸ It Feels Different When You’re With Me | Rearviewdreamer | sign language - slow burn - 45k Harry fell in love with sign language as a kid. He never imagined the first love of his life would lead him straight to his second.

✸ let me carry your weight | soldouthaz | trainer Harry - insecure Louis - pining - smut [check tags for specific smut tags] - 28k louis is fresh out of a bad relationship with someone who made him feel awful about how he looked. on his journey to better himself, he meets harry - the ridiculously attractive and fit personal trainer.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly reads #my reads #larry fics #completed fics

[x0401x]

Have you watched Tsurune, by an chance? If yes, what do you think about it?

Finally managed to write down a reply for this! (Told y’all I was gonna do it and I did not give up, lmao.)

So this ask caught me off-guard for two reasons: one is that I never see it coming when people send me Tsurune asks now that the anime is long over and the fandom is inactive, and the other is that nobody has ever asked me this question so straightforwardly. Whenever I got asks about Tsurune, people would question me about the differences between anime and novel, the anime versions versus the canon versions of the characters, fanservice and ship tease, alterations in character relationships and my opinions on specific episodes, chapters or scenes. As far as I remember, no one has ever asked me what I think of the anime (or the novel) in general.

I won’t go into the novel since this ask is just about the anime (I can do that in another one if you like), but I’ll end up mentioning it every now and then because it’s pretty impossible to discuss about an adaptation without talking about its source material. Still, I promise this review won’t be centered on that.

This is actually a very condensed version of my thoughts, because the real thing would be a bible. It’s still a lot, though. Here comes a long-ass ride.

I guess I should start by making clear that I usually follow the history of KyoAni’s productions very closely as I’m a big fan of the studio. This includes reading the novels and mangas they adapt into anime as well. I had read volume 1 by the time the Tsurune anime came out, so I already knew what the canon was like. I must add that I was also familiar with Japanese archery to some degree and I was reading Zen in the Art of Archery when the anime was airing (it’s referenced early in the novel, so I decided to give it a try).

With all of this being said, when it was announced that Tsurune would get an anime, my first reaction was to worry. This surprised even me, because I usually have high hopes for any KyoAni adaptation, even the ones I end up not liking. I mean, it’s a studio filled with brilliant stars and holds the golden standards of the whole industry, so even when the content isn’t good, the quality of the animation itself is enough to make their shows worth anyone’s time. But the choice of director had me very concerned.

Now, this is Kyoto Animation that we’re talking about. In no moment did I fear for the animation’s quality. Most of Tsurune’s staff members, if not all, already had previous experience working on Violet Evergarden. And we all know that even newcomers freshly graduated from KyoAni’s preparatory school can make a stunning visual masterpiece. Yes, I am talking about Kyoukai no Kanata. And yes, I said visual masterpiece, because we also know that what these productions normally lack is the most essential part: the content.

In those cases, the one who actually makes a difference is the director. I’m a firm believer that the more inexperienced the staff is, the more competent a director they should be placed under. If not a senior animator, at least let it be a rising talent with the best prospects possible. But the schedules usually don’t help with that, so these hatchlings ended up under Yamamura Takuya’s wings.

To elaborate a bit further on why I think brighter animators should be the ones leading new packs (no, it’s not discrimination against the less accomplished, because you gotta start from somewhere), it’s because they usually have this knack for bringing the most out of the stories they’re working on. When the story is great by itself, that’s a different thing, but when it doesn’t quite reach its full potential with just the text, then the one to give it life has to be a person with more vision.

Am I saying that Tsurune is one of those stories? Absolutely. Tsurune is about archery, which is an art that is best appreciated when observed. You can’t get everything out of it just with words, and there are many things in it that people who don’t know much or know nothing about Japanese archery wouldn’t understand without actually seeing them, so the series obviously needed an anime in order to reach its full potential. But other than that, I’ll be honest: I love the Tsurune novel for its cultural baggage, the handling of its characters and its fairly innovative views in the repetitive and boring scene that sports animanga are nowadays, but I don’t consider it a well-written novel. Because it isn’t.

This might seem controvesial coming from someone who defends the canon with claws and teeth, but I’m aware of its flaws. I think Ayano Kotoko has a lot of room for improvement, and she’s evolved remarkably from volume 1 to volume 2. But volume 1 is what the anime was based off, so there was a deep need for a clinical eye in that production. One that could measure the original work’s strengths and weaknesses and balance them out by powering one up and overcoming the other. And also a certain level of knowledge about Japanese archery. Sadly, Yamamura Takuya didn’t have any of it.

As much as I admire Yamamura as a key animator and in-betweener, I believe he has a long way to go before he can be considered a good director, and I certainly don’t think he was ready for his debut when he was put in charge of Tsurune. I would rather, and I mean this in a good way, have seen him work as anything else for the rest of his career. Being a series director was too much for him. I say this taking into consideration not only the fiasco that the Tsurune anime was in sales but also Yamamura’s history in the studio before becoming a director.

This might sound funny, but Yamamura had no idea how big Animation Do and KyoAni were before he decided to join. He also was never very skilled. His in-betweening was actually not approved at first when he was trying to enter the company. He even once admitted that his knowledge of animation was extremely limited at the time, and what a time that was, because the studio was busy up to the neck with the making of Lucky Star back then. He didn’t know left and right, basically, and he recalled in an interview from last year that he is still surprised the studio actually hired him.

Despite all of this, Yamamura joined the company with the intention of becoming a director. While he did manage the feat in the end, it took him +10 years and a few frustrated attempts. Animators usually start out at in-betweening and earn other positions through passing exams. Yamamura failed his first exam to be key animator, only managing to pass half a year later. He also failed his first exam to become a director. At his second attempt, one of their colleagues even suggested that maybe he should stay a bit longer as a key animator, and I couldn’t agree more. While he did pass the test, I can only bring myself to think that he did so with an average score.

Now, I did say that this info came from a 2019 interview, when the Tsurune anime was already over. But they weren’t really what shaped my opinion on Yamamura regarding his direction. It was the anime itself. But this interview served to confirm something I had already noticed from his tragectory to series direction: with him being in the studio for so long and having worked on so many titles, it was weird to me that he was rarely an episode director in comparison to key animation and in-betweening. Episode direction is a step that I consider crucial for one to become either series director, animation supervisor or series composer. I do know that quite a few directors take just as long as he did or even longer to debut and actually do thrive in the end, but observing Yamamura’s work always gave me the impression that he was better off following decisions made by someone else rather than making his own.

Yamamura also loses points with me in that he’s backed up within the company by Kawanami Eisaku, another director who doesn’t get rave reviews on his works. He’s the one who replaced Utsumi Hiroko after she migrated to Mappa, and ever since he took over the Free! franchise, its sales decreased to less than 1/3 of each of the first two seasons separately. I personally don’t like that he seems to look down on Utsumi despite his lack of success in inheriting her legacy, but leaving this aside and focusing only on his skills, I’m not fond of directors who opt for simplistic approaches in general. I think animation is a medium that should be used to amplify the appeal of the source material, not water it down. It also feels like these kinds of directors are always trying to play safe, which (they don’t seem to realize) goes against the audience’s expectations and kills the hype. It strikes me as cowardly, to be frank. I also don’t like when they ignore what the characters had been building up and simply retool them to their own tastes. I was praying that Yamamura would be different from this bad example, but turns out he was actually worse.

I got a really bad feeling when the anime PVs of Tsurune were released. My very first impression was that Yamamura was still too much of a beginner and he wouldn’t be able to make Tsurune into a successful anime. I know this might seem like an exaggeration, but here’s the thing: ever since KyoAni started making its own titles, I’d never seen lack of hype for their upcoming works. Ever.

Until Tsurune.

Every time a PV of a KyoAni show comes out, people go crazy. It’s not always a frenzy like it was with Free! in its heyday or Violet Evergarden when the novel commercials were the only pieces of animation we had of it, but there’s usually lots of debate and speculations going on. With Tsurune, almost no one cared. You’d see next to nobody talking about it save from a few people on Reddit. And honestly, why should they bother? It didn’t seem promising at all. Didn’t show much of the characters or the story’s premise, didn’t highlight any particularly interest aspect of the plot and didn’t leave any impression animation-wise. It was very bland, to say the least. Unfortunately, so was the anime series.

It might be blunt of me, but my overall evaluation of Tsurune is that it was a really boring show. Nearly all elements that made the story and characters interesting were either taken out or squeezed into a cookie cutter mold, cliche version of what they looked like they were going to be at first but turned out not to be in the novel. And I say this because one of the things that make Tsurune a good novel is how it turns stereotypes upside-down. It introduces the readers into what seems like is going to be a typical sports shounen and starts out describing the character archetypes in the most common ways possible and puts them in the most common situations possible, then it reverses them all. That’s what’s most charismatic about the books. It’s what incites actual character development and gives us different sides of each relationship, yet the anime makes no use of it.

The anime also hardly makes any use of all the mystic, Zen and lowkey folklore-ish veils of the novel, which are supposed to add up to the archery elements. The Zen part is actually essential since Japanese archery is fundamentally a Zen form of art. Yes, art. Japanese archery is, in fact, not a sport. This is one of the aspects that elevate Tsurune above other works of the sports genre: it’s only categorized as such because it can’t fit anywhere else, but it’s not really a sports novel. That could have elevated the anime to the same status too, if only the studio hadn’t treated it like a sports one. But they made that mistake.

Still, I think the biggest sin in this adaptation was to try to cling to tropes that are considered successful and ignoring the characters’ personalities, which didn’t match these tropes at all, resulting in both characters and bonds being utterly destroyed and the flow of the story slowing down to a slug pace. By the second half of the anime, literally either nothing interesting happens or the things that were supposed to be interesting don’t hold the audience’s attention enough, which the animators attempt to cover up with queerbait. Everything is so tediously predictable that I’ve seen countless comments from the Japanese side of the fandom about how similar the Tsurune anime was to Free! and how “KyoAni only ever makes male characters like that, don’t they”. They were referring to Seiya and his weird jealousy, by the way. Even first-timers could tell that the characterization was a disaster.

The sad thing is, they were right. The Tsurune anime really did feel highkey like a Free! copycat in the characterization department. The main character is always getting swung about by everyone around him. The best friend is very clearly co-dependent. The deuteragonist is revealed to be bitter because of a deceased relative and is an asshole to the rest of the main cast for a good portion of the series. The rival from the other school is rude as hell for no reason and he’s got annoying groupies on his team who don’t exist outside of idolizing him. There are only four female characters and they have almost no screen time. And the list goes on.

As for the animation itself, I would like to say that it was perfect, but what really rang the alarm in my head was the many beginner mistakes so evident here and there, such as missing frames, the opening theme starting out of nowhere, the colors of the background often being too bland, lack of movement or scenes where the characters are too static, etc. I shit you not that when I saw the title splashing onto the screen all of a sudden in the initial ten seconds of episode one, the first thing I thought was, “This won’t sell well”. Sure enough, it didn’t.

So there you have it. I didn’t like the show. The only things I enjoyed were the archery scenes and the soundtrack. The rest simply didn’t do justice to the original work. I hope this summary has explained why, but if you want more info on it, maybe visit my Tsurune tag. You’ll find me elaborating more on particular topics in response to similar asks. Or you can send me other questions if you feel like.

That’s it!

#tsurune #how cool is it that i finished just in time for the anime's anniversary lol

[revisionaryhistory]

Three Days ~ 55

~*~Sebastian~*~

I stared at her. Stunned. I'm not sure if it's how the conversation went or she wants me and whatever comes with me. Emma is so intentional. Her words carry meaning. She wants to be clear and asks for clarity. This is heaven for my overthinking brain. I’m not stuck wondering what she means nor am I afraid to ask. Because I know she'll answer. Really answer.

"I've got eight years on you, how are you the more mature one?"

"Stabilizing influence and frighteningly direct communication of my second dad."

The expression on her face and deadpanned delivery had me laughing. "I can see that. I'll be the emotionally reactive one and you can be the calming one." Then I remembered. "Although, Eli did tell a story about you laying into some guy in Hawaii at a volleyball game. Ed dumped you in the ocean. I wish there was video."

"There is. You'll have to get dad to send it to you."

Tuesday was a good day. Workout was hard and my abs were already sore, but we'd laughed a lot. Good phone call with mom. The house had come together, she was enjoying some time in the pool, and she'd picked up some piano students. My afternoon was spent in my manager, Emily's, office. Mostly she and I, but a few conference calls. I was about to be busy. The next six weeks I was more gone than home. I was excited about the work. Excited to see friends.

Admittedly, the timing wasn't the greatest, new relationship and all, but I was confident we'd figure it out. This is different. I'd like to say it was because my previous experience is whining and bitching about me being gone so long, knowing I was going to pay for the distance, and trying to front-load my leaving to make it more palatable. While all of those all true, the actual difference is I care. The emotionally unavailable hot and cold thing comes into play here. I put up a wall to block the whining and bitching, not really listening, because it's my job. Bitching at me isn’t going to change anything and I’m not going to feel guilty for doing my job. Well, I do, but it just pisses me off because I shouldn’t.  The expectation of gifts, dinners, or a vacation to make up for being gone made those a lot less fun. And I was never successful at cramming a bunch of stuff in before I left, because my work didn't start when I left. It starts weeks before. I don’t leave for filming for a month, but I’m already prepping: gym reading, watching things, research, and studying the script. I get pretty singularly focused. I don't know any other way. And when pushed I shut down. I don't respond. I brood. And I appear cold. None of this is right. Some just is. Some is my fault. Getting to where I didn't care about her (any of the previous hers) feelings and concerns with me gone was a side effect of shutting down and I regret doing that. It wasn’t that I didn’t care about her feelings. It was feeling ineffectual to do anything about it and my self-protection kicking in. Looking back, saying effectively “deal with it” was incredibly insensitive. Not proud of it.

But now, sitting here looking at my schedule I’m finding places I can find some time for us. We’ll figure it out. I can tell you what won’t happen. Emma won't whine where I block her out. She's not going to emotionally blackmail me for things, which will make me want to give. And she’ll leave me alone to prep, let me bounce things off her, or cook something to remind me to eat. I need all of those. I care how Emma's going to feel about me being gone. I care about what we’ve begun and how we'll keep in touch. I also know that while I'm away she will carry on living the life she had before she had me and be just fine.

Emma had practice tonight and a game tomorrow. It was after eight when she called. She was in a tank top and her hair was wet from her shower. I caught up on her day before leading into mine. "I have good news and bad news."

"OK." Emma drug out the word, wary of my response.

"When I get back from Canada, I've got some time to spend with you. Then I’m gone for the month of July. Fashion show, audition and meetings, comic con, then filming in Rome." Playing off last night’s conversation, I added. "I'm not expecting a bad reaction."

"Well, that's good." Her hand moved toward the screen and I chose to believe she was touching my face. "I'II miss you, but I’m excited for you. And me getting to hear about what you're doing. Living vicariously."

I'd had some time to think. I had a lot of thoughts on plans. This was the soonest.  "You get back Tuesday, doubleheader Wednesday, and I get back late Thursday. What's your weekend look like?"

"Empty. I'll come to you. You'll barely be home if you come here. I can come anytime Friday. I'll be done with work except maybe packing up my room. I can do that whenever."

"Early Friday. Thursday night." I wanted to maximize our time. "I have to do some work."

"I can amuse myself."

"Maybe the shop you liked so much will be having a sale?" I laughed at the way her eyes lit up. "July fourth weekend I'm at a fashion show. Wanna go to Paris?"

"What?" Her face moved closer to the screen. I’d surprised her.

"Not necessarily Paris, but near. The third is the show. Have you been to Paris?"

"Family spent the summer in Europe when we were thirteen. Then Pearl Jam tours. Love Paris."

"Not much more than a long weekend, but museums and I'm sure we can find some romantic Paris shit to do."

"I would love to go to Paris with you."

That was good because I'd already made reservations. "California for about two weeks then straight to Italy for at least that. Depends on how long shooting takes. Hopefully back in time to join you in Chicago. Then nothing until the end of August. Will and I had been talking about a group of us going away. We were waiting for my schedule. What do you think about a group trip and we stay a little longer or go off alone? It would be a beach somewhere."

"You going to rub sunscreen on me?"

"Um yay, part of my volleyball job. Beer bitch and sunscreen applier."

“I’m in."

"End of August is a Disney thing. Labor Day weekend is the Toronto Film Fest. Little stuff in there, nothing big. No idea past then."

She laughed, eyes wide, and moving her head in all directions "It's crazy like a tour schedule. I'm jealous. I love touring."

"I thought about Rome, but the schedule's tight. You wouldn't see me."

"I wasn't trying for an invite. I'll get some of my summer PD hours done so I won't have to worry about them. Make sure I've got time for us."

I leaned back on the couch, "That was easy."

She glared at me. "I thought you weren't expecting a bad reaction?"

I shook my head, "No, no, I wasn't. Just an observation. Thought I might have to talk you into the beach." I held it a second before smiling, "Not really. I do know it’s a lot."

"I will always go to a beach."

"You’re not allowed to play volleyball."

"Did you get the video from dad?"

"About an hour ago." I'd enjoyed it several times. "You're a feisty little thing."

Wednesday was a day of pictures and texts. After the gym, I settled in my extra room to prep. I had my laptop on the table, a stack of books on top of my script, and a huge bottle of water. I took a picture and posted it to Instagram along with one of me with a pencil between my teeth and pulling my hair.

Emma ~ How'd you get a picture of your expression during your last blow job?

Sebastian ~ Hidden camera in bedroom. You should see the other things I have. Coupling Season 1. "The Cupboard of Patrick's Love."

Emma ~ “You really don't have enough blood for both ends of your body, do you?"

Sebastian ~ Very good, Sally.

 Love that she can quote one of my favorite shows.

After lunch, Emma posted a picture of her in the middle of a group hug with her students. "I'll miss my munchkins.”  I sent a sad face emoji.

Then I fell into a hole. I got pulled into my research and reading and the next time I picked up my phone it was one a.m. I need time like this and put my phone on do not disturb. The only thing that comes through is two calls from the same number within a few minutes. Anyone important knows how to reach me. Emma knew, but she didn't. Not even when the Demonic Crickets won their game. She posted several pictures, but I got a much better one in a text. Emma with her back to the camera in her team tank, arm up flexing her bicep, and her looking over her shoulder smiling at me. The gold flecks in her eyes were sparkling and the darker ring made the green more intense.

Emma ~ Hope you're getting a lot done. Internally anyway.  XOXO

Sebastian ~ * 12 hours later * Yeah, I did. I'm hungry. Congrats on the win. Picture is beautiful.

Sebastian ~ You're beautiful

 Her thank you came while I was working out. After a shower, I fell back into my hole until it was time for therapy.

I'd been seeing Celie for a long time. Frequency varied. She had a dark brown bob, glasses, and a round face. At this point, I could read her as well as she could me. If she was looking at me over her glasses, she thought I was full of shit. No words needed. She was about ten years older than me and her style worked for me. It was a great one-sided friendship.

I took my regular spot on the blue couch, "How are you today, Celie?"

Celie smiled. She had the unconditional positive regard thing down. I say that, but she does genuinely like me. Most of the time. I can be a pain in the ass. "I've had a good day and after you I get to go home. You seem to be in a good mood. Tell what's going on with you, Seb."

I was always her last client of the day. Sometimes I needed more than an hour. "I am in a good mood. I met somebody. Last time I saw you I was going to help my parents move. I met Emma there. In a grocery store, if you can believe that."

"Sounds like you can't."

"I asked her to dinner in under fifteen minutes."

She widened her eyes in disbelief. Exactly my point. "Did you? Good for you, Seb. A complete stranger. What led you to ask her out?"

"I was all covered up and she tells me I looked like a rehab patient checking into the clinic up the road. But she was kind to me. A sketchy stranger. She didn’t know who I was until we were outside and I introduced myself. She helped me find the things on my list and we chatted." I put my hands in front of my chest, fingers splayed. "She felt good. I didn't know why, just enough that I knew I wanted to know more.”

“And what do you know now?”

I spent the next several minutes telling Celie the salient points. We’ve been doing this long enough that explaining isn’t necessary. She’ll recognize why things are important. My face hurt from smiling after I was finished talking about Emma. I stopped short of the whole conversation on Sunday.

“Besides the obvious early relationship high, how are you feeling about all this?”

“Good. Happy. Hopeful. The only concerning thing was Saturday I woke up from a night terror, panic attack. I got myself calmed down pretty quick, wrote for a while, and once Emma got up I went for a run.”

“Even with being happy, there’s been quite a bit of emotional activity. I’m pleased that you’ve only woken up once. Much better. What do you suspect triggered you?”

I took a deep breath, “Emma and I wound up in this conversation Sunday afternoon. A couple of my friends at the party had told her I wasn’t acting like I normally do with women, but more like I am with friends. This led to a conversation about my relationship issues. I’m not the same with her. She really doesn’t know that version of me. I think that’s why I had the anxiety. It was the night after the party but before the conversation. First time we’d been around my friends. I think it was not because I’m scared, but because I’m not. Like you said, there’s been a lot of emotional shit going on and I’m good. Remarkably good.”

“Why do you think that is?”

“Emma is different. She’s incredibly kind and is . . . gentle. Not weak though. She’s strong.”

Celie shook her head, “When I think of gentle people it’s a combination. They can be painfully truthful, but their manner makes others able to listen. They have a compassion for others.”

“Exactly! I noticed she knew everyone. She talked to everyone and used their name. I asked and she said she looked at their nametags and you never know what someone’s day has been. That might be the first nice thing that’s happened all day. I know it’s a little thing, but it’s her. She’s like that with me. She doesn’t try to talk me out of being anxious or overthinking. She doesn’t think my insecurities are stupid. They’re all just part of me.”

“She accepts you.”

“Right. The more we got to know each other, the more we talked, I felt safe. She doesn’t do those things I usually shut down over. I don’t feel the need to protect myself. She’s very different.”  Celie was looking at me over her glasses. Uh oh. “You’re giving me the look.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Why?  I thought I was doing good. I asked out a stranger and got this amazing woman.”

“Sebastian, as quick as you are to fault yourself, you’re slow to take credit.”

“Take credit?” I didn’t know what she was talking about.

She leaned forward, putting her elbows on her knees. “You think this relationship is different because of Emma. You lucked out and met an accepting, kind, gentle person.”

“Yes. No. Both. Emma is different and she makes me different.”

Celie made a loud, jarring beeping noise. This was new.

“Ok, I guess I’m wrong.”

“You are. Not completely. You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Any credit. You’ve worked very hard. You’ve read. You’ve journaled. You’ve talked. You’ve done things I’ve asked you to even if you didn’t understand or want to. I’ve seen you grow. To give responsibility for this relationship being different all to Emma is dangerous. What’s going to happen when she falls off this pedestal you’ve put her on? Is that going to be an excuse to shut down and protect yourself? Fall back on old habits.”

I could feel my eyebrows pulled down and the scowl on my face. “So you’re saying this isn’t as good as I think it is.”

“Not at all. I’m saying it’s got as much to do with you as it does her. Previously you would have never asked out a woman you met in a grocery. But that seems to be the furthest you’re going with how you’re different. I do not believe for one second that no other woman you’ve gone out with has been kind and accepting. Or would have been if you would have been able to show them you.  You used to do things to test them. You’d say or do things to see how they’d react. As we’ve talked, you weren’t being real, so you don’t know that their reactions were.”

I nodded then looked down, “I know. Pretty manipulative.”  I felt Celie’s hand on my arm and looked back up. Her face was very soft with a smile.

“Stop, Seb. You need to be proud of yourself. You are doing things differently. You have learned from your past, grown, and come a long way in accepting yourself. Warts and all. You have shown Emma who you are, even the parts you don’t like so much. She can have credit for how she’s responded to you, but you deserve the credit for being brave enough to show her in an honest and authentic way. That allowed her to respond in an equally honest and authentic way.”

I grabbed a tissue from the ever-present box on the table and wiped the wet from my face. Neither the first nor the last time I’d cry in this room.

"If you had met her even a year ago, with her exactly as she is now, this relationship would be very different."

"The wedding."

"Excuse me?"

Yeah, non sequitur. "I was supposed to go to a friend’s wedding last summer but didn't because there was a change in my shooting schedule. Emma was at the wedding. You're right. Had I met her then," I shook my head. “I wouldn't have been ready for her and now could have never happened."

Celie shrugged, "Probably not."

I sniffed and wiped my eyes, "How do I get her off this pedestal I’ve put her on?"

"You seem pretty smitten. Maybe not take her off, just lower it a little." I laughed and she went on. "What you do is own your part. You have been making choices to improve yourself. You have been making choices to go out of your comfort zone. And you have been making choices to let her know you. Emma's been making similar choices to be with you. I'm sure you know what she's come through to be where she is. It seems like you complement each other. Recognize this is both of you waking up and choosing to be with each other. Talk and negotiate what that means. Tell her what you want. And when you're not talking you listen. Listen to what she needs from you. The most important for you is to keep processing the feelings with her. She's the only one who can help those make a picture. And you need to give her the same gift. She has things she’s not so proud of and afraid for you to know about her. We all do. You will need to accept her and treat her with gentle kindness she gives you.”

I was crying again. "She told me. I told her she was different than the others. She asked if maybe I was different."

Celie snickered, "I like her."

"You would. She speaks therapy."

"I want to be very clear, Seb. She sounds wonderful and she may make you better. You sound wonderful and I bet you make her better too. That’s how it should work in a relationship. You help each other along. It takes two people with self-awareness making choices to do what it takes. You both have to choose growth, honestly, humility, vulnerability, and sacrifice. I hear you holding up your end. I’ve not heard you do this before. And while she may be the right woman, you've become the right man. Please, please, do not underestimate how much work you've put in to become the right man for another person.”

"I want to go home and cry for an hour or so."

"I wish Emma was here for you."

I shook my head with a grimace, "It's going to be ugly until I get it out."

"Yes. I think Emma would want to be there to hold you and you'd find more acceptance and comfort in that than you can imagine."

At home, I grabbed a beer, sank down in my favorite chair, and cried. I felt everything all at once but fought to untangle the threads. Sad was remnants of the past and dissipated quickly. Its friends regret and shame fought a little harder to stick around, but they were toxic and needed to go. Pride and relief were together too. Celie was right. I had worked hard. An infinite number of hours had gone into figuring myself out. There have been so many times I thought I'd be stuck forever. Sometime in the last two years that I've been without a girlfriend, all the work must have come together. In the last two years I've been filming almost nonstop. Five movies have come out. Two of which were Marvel circuses. It's like all the therapy (and the work that goes with it) knitted me back together while I was busy filming and living my life. Celie had told me to trust the process. I couldn't rush it or make changes happen before it was time. Patience. I am inherently impatient. Pride was for the work. Relief was for seeing results. Finally.

Next was happy. I’m in a good place. I'm excited about the movie I’m making. I have supportive, fun friends, and a loving family. I don't need a girlfriend to be happy, but one does bring everything together. I like having a person who is mine. Mine in the sense of us experiencing life together. The good and bad. I like that. I want that. And now I have it. The beginnings of it, anyway.

After I pulled my shit together, I wanted to talk to Emma. I wanted support. Maybe not support, but I felt raw. I wanted someone to soothe the raw nerves, to sit with me while all this new stuff integrated. I wish she was here. What I needed was a hug.

Sebastian ~ Can you talk?

I don't like that I asked. It feels insecure and I have zero reasons to feel insecure. I quickly decided to cut myself some slack.

My phone rang and I connected to FaceTime. "Hey." Her bright smile and obvious happiness to see me did wonders to soothe those raw nerves.

Emma's face went from a smile to wide-eyed concern. "Sebastian, what’s wrong? You look like you've been crying. What happened?" Before I could answer, she jumped to a correct conclusion. "You had therapy. Good, bad, or cathartic tears?"

"Mostly the last one."

Her hand went to her chest, "Ok." She picked up what I assumed was her iPad and crossed to the chair in her bedroom. I could see her pull her knees up when she put her feet on the ottoman. She rested the iPad on her knees.

"Mostly a repeat of what we talked about Sunday. Celie said I wasn't giving myself enough credit for the work I've done. My growth."

As Emma had alluded to the same thing, I expected a smile or some acknowledgment of her asking if I was different. Instead, I got, "What do you think?"

"I think I still need to work on not being so hard on myself." I smiled because that statement was me still being hard on myself. "When Celie pointed out how I've changed I could see it and was proud of myself. I can’t see it on my own yet, but I'll get there. I never thought anyone would get past my walls. It wasn't someone getting in, it was me getting out." More goddamned tears.

Emma reached out and touched the screen. "I‘m so happy for you. Proud of you too."

Her words felt like a hug. Close enough for now. "Thank you."

"I know you're a grown man, but I wish I was there. Crying alone sucks."

"Oh," I laughed a little, "the chances of us having a messy reunion are high."

"Why?"

"A lot of you and I talk today. I know me, it's gonna hit me when I see you."

"I should warn you. I have a strict policy that nobody cries alone in my presence."

I smiled at her exaggerated southern accent with the "Steel Magnolias" quote. "See ... gonna be messy."

#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan fanfiction #fanfiction

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

Silver Lining

Summary:  My sketchbook twist on what happened in the episode The Storm while Johanna was alone in her car. You know, technically, it could have happened...

Inspired by something I said in this rewatch post

Notes:  Okay so originally this was going to be something very different with lots of obliviousness and mutual pining, but then it hit me that outside of the angsty hell that is The Mistakes We Made, I have no established relationship fics??? Time to fix that. Also I wanted to jump into the “librarian and Johanna were secretly dating during season 1” bandwagon before season 2 comes along and crushes our dreams.

Read it on ao3

The art supply store had been deserted, presumably because of the storm raging outside, which seemed to only get worse by the minute. Uneasy over the weather, Johanna’s shopping was quick, and she only bought what was absolutely essential, even though she promised herself to come back some other time.

She couldn’t fathom what was happening that day. Even in the height of winter, it never snowed like that in Trolberg, not as far as she remembered. It could be one of those freaky effects of global warming, she supposed, but it still was weird that it had happened so suddenly.

Returning home was not an option. The roads were completely blocked by heaps of pristine snow, and she’d certainly catch her death if she attempted the walk back, thus why she’d called Hilda. She’d wanted to tell her why she wouldn’t be returning home so soon, but knowing her daughter as she did, she also found it wise to warn her not to leave the house. Just in case she had any grand ideas.

After putting down the phone, she looked around only to realize that the stores were all closing, turning off their lights and closing their curtains. Johanna could see where they were coming from, seeing as no customer would face this storm for things like art supplies or doughnuts, but she had hoped at least one of them would be available for her to stay inside and make use of the heating. Seeing no other option, though, she returned to her car.

Her cellphone had no signal, and she was sure that that, too, was due to the weather. The supplies she’d bought weren’t enough for her to get ahead on her work, or even to doodle, so she was stuck with people-watching to pass her time. Everyone she saw looked like they were hurrying somewhere, and Johanna silently wished good luck to each of them, even though she knew that they would only be able to go so far before being forced to find somewhere to stay immediately.

None of the anxious faces she saw evoked more than a brief memory from her, either people who frequented her favorite cafe at the same time as her, or perhaps people she’d helped during her time working at the hardware store. Until one did.

Johanna recognized her colours before her face, because even though she was looking down at the ground, stepping carefully on the snowy street, her black clothes and purple hair always gave her away. She was curled in on herself, apparently clutching something to her belly to protect it from the snow.

Her house wasn’t nearby, Johanna knew this. The only reason she was outside at all was because of the weekly coven meeting that the witches of Trolberg did every Sunday morning. She must have been caught abruptly by the storm when she was already on her way.

Feeling icy wind on her face as she opened the car’s door, Johanna waved her hand in the air and tried to shout to get her attention.

“Maven!” Though she knew the woman to get lost in thought while she walked, Maven heard her right away, and a look of recognition overtook her face when she glanced at the yellow car. “Come here, you’ll freeze to death!”

There was barely a second of deliberation before the librarian crossed the street and headed for the passenger seat. When she opened the door, Johanna was already sitting down again, and she helped herself inside the car.

“Thank you, Anna.” She said, incredibly relieved that Johanna had been there in the exact moment she’d needed her. “You just saved me.”

The smile Johanna gave her stole her breath, making her feel warmer in spite of the freezing cold she’d just come out of. She always had that power of making the room feel like it was filled with a light so strong that it seeped all the way into Maven’s heart, and it was one of those things Maven knew she’d never tire of.

“Well, I’m glad to be of help. How was the meeting?”

Maven shrugged, opening her coat’s zipper to get rid of the icy garment.

“It was alright. Harvesting season is coming closer and we are planning on blessing the crops nearby.” She said, throwing the coat on the backseats. “Heavens know they’ll need it with this storm. The elders also warned me that they’ll be coming to the library this week with a group of children who showed gifts to the occult arts. You know, to teach them about the path. So I guess that will be interesting.”

The most intriguing topic on the reunion had been, by far, the concern over a group of kids who had caused a commotion in the cemetery. One member of their coven had recently made contact with a ghost, only to find it unwilling to help her ‘because of the human children of their town that had been disrespecting their eternal slumber’. Maven had to admit that she’d had to make an effort not to laugh when their spirit worker told this story, but unless she had a death wish, she should not let Johanna in on this. It wasn’t lying, she told herself. It was simply not snitching on Hilda. Besides, since Johanna wasn’t a witch, Maven shouldn’t even be telling her any of that to begin with.

“What about you?” She asked, trying to shake the ghosts away from her mind. “What are you doing out here in this storm?”

“Oh, I came for art supplies.” Johanna pointed at the shopping bag on the backseat. “Wasn’t quite this bad when I left home. I wonder what on earth brought on this crazy weather.”

“Oh, weather spirits undoubtedly.” Maven said as she took off her gloves, rubbing her hands together for warmth.

“Weather spirits?”

“Yes, I can sense they’re the ones behind this. Besides, the coven has been observing some very unusual weather spirit activity in town. We could be here for a while.”

Looking worriedly at the sky, Johanna only noticed that Maven was offering her something when she all but shoved it under her nose. She blinked, picking a cupcake up on her hands. It was still warm and exhaled a sweet apple scent, with cinnamon and sugar sprinkled on top of it.

Maven’s left hand was inside a paper bag, which Johanna assumed was what she’d been trying to protect from the snow when she’d been outside. After taking another cupcake, she folded the bag closed.

“One of the witches made too many cupcakes and brought them to give us. Very convenient to have them right now.”

“Oh, that smells lovely.” Johanna said. “Are you sure you don’t want to take it home for yourself? I’m not going to starve if I have to wait a few more hours to eat.”

Maven smiled right before taking a bite of her own cupcake, shaking her head fondly in exasperation.

“I’m your girlfriend, Johanna.” She said when she finished chewing. “If I don’t feed you, who will?”

Johanna rolled her eyes playfully as she brought the cake to her lips, humming in satisfaction at the sweet taste. Along with seeing Hilda happy and with new friends, her newfound relationship with Maven was what made her be thankful every day that they’d moved back to Trolberg.

“So, these weather spirits.” Johanna began while each of them focused on their sweet. “Any idea of why they went haywire?”

“Hard to tell, really. They’ll pick fights with each other over anything, but for a storm this strong it has got to be an enormous gathering of them. I honestly don’t know what could have caused this, but one of the elders specifies in weather magic. Maybe he knows, I’ll ask him about it when he goes to the library with the initiates.”

Frowning, Johanna felt herself getting more worried.

“So there’s no way to know when this will stop.”

“I’m afraid not.” Noticing her girlfriend’s unease, Maven tried to catch her gaze, but Johanna seemed to look everywhere but at her. “Anna? Are you okay?”

“I’m just a little worried about Hilda.” She answered. “She’s alone at home with Alfur. I told her to stay put, but even so… she’s just a kid, and if anything happens, she has no way to talk to me.”

“Hey.” Maven put a hand on Johanna’s shoulder, trying to ground her to the moment and not leave her to imagine every bad scenario she could. “I know I don’t know her like you do, but from what you’ve told me she’s a smart and brave little girl. She’ll be fine. If you want to worry about anything, I’d suggest worrying about us at the moment. We’re due to become icicles any minute now.”

Johanna chuckled, grateful for Maven being with her in that moment. She always seemed to know what to say to make her feel better.

“Yeah, you’re right.” She sighed, relaxing the weight of her body against the seat and taking one more bite. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw that Maven had taken a pen out of her pocket and was now scribbling something on the paper bag the cupcakes had been on.

“I’m not kidding, if this storm gets any worse I don’t know if the car’s heating will keep up.” She said when Johanna shot her a questioning look. “I don’t have many sigils memorized, but luckily Ruth packed a heat one with the cupcakes. I’ll just activate a few and we should be fine.”

Indeed, on top of her tight there was a small paper square with a doodle in it, which Maven had already copied three times on the bag, and was now doing a fourth one. If Johanna saw that symbol and no one told her of its meaning, she’d wave it off as some sort of stylized drawing of a spider, or perhaps of a flame from a certain point of view, so she was glad to be with someone who knew better.

After finishing the drawings, she put the pen aside and began to carefully rip the sigils from each other. When she had the four pieces of paper, she pressed the first one against her window and recited some words that Johanna couldn’t recognize. Listening to witch language always felt singular to Johanna, like even though she’d never learned it, something deep inside her felt awake when she heard it, like it was in her blood. She’d asked Maven about it once, receiving the answer that this wasn’t an unusual feeling. The language of witches is the language of the Earth, which we’re all part of, she’d said. Johanna couldn’t say in all honesty that she’d understood, but it had seemed to make sense to her girlfriend so she hadn’t pressed any further.

When she removed her hand from the glass, the paper had disappeared, and only the symbol remained on the window, shining with orange light as if it was on fire. Then, it vanished leaving no trace on the window.

Johanna continued to stare at where the sigil had been while Maven maneuvered herself to the back of the car to repeat the process with the back windows. Magic never failed to leave her astonished.

It registered on the back of her mind that the car was indeed getting warmer, especially when the librarian activated the third sigil on the window behind Johanna’s seat. After Maven had done that too, Johanna felt her put her elbow on her seat, near her neck, leaning the other against the passenger seat. She was kneeling on the car’s floor, practically by Johanna’s side in the gap between the two front seats. The look she was wearing immediately gave away to Johanna that she wanted to talk about something.

“Anna, I wanted to ask you…” She began, proving her right. “When do you think it will be okay to tell her about us?”

“Her?” Johanna frowned.

“Hilda, I mean. Obviously I’ll understand if you want to keep our relationship just between ourselves for some time. But what do you think she’ll think of me?”

Johanna opened a smile and leaned towards Maven, kissing her cheek. When she retreated, she had to bite back a giggle at how flustered her girlfriend looked.

“Hilda will love you.” Johanna answered honestly. She’d admittedly thought about how Hilda and Maven’s relationship would be, and she was afraid, just not the way one would expect. Her fear was that they’d get along a little too much and Johanna would have to run after them every other day, trying to stop them from getting killed at the hands of a magical creature they’d attempted to befriend or a spirit they’d summoned. Though it was possible that there would be some unease between them at the beginning, the thought that they wouldn’t see eye to eye didn’t even sound possible to Johanna.

“The only reason I haven’t told her yet is because she seems to have a lot on her mind right now. Some trouble with her friends, I think, but she won’t tell me yet. But it’s a conversation I want to have with her as soon as she’s alright again.”

Maven looked away from Johanna, now feeling silly for having asked. It wasn’t like her to be insecure like that, but this truly mattered to her. Whether Hilda approved of her or not would be decisive for how far she and Johanna would be able to take their relationship. Besides, if Johanna told her daughter about them, then that would mean that she took their relationship seriously, so she couldn’t help but care about it.

At least Johanna hadn’t taken it the wrong way, her pursed smile as she put a stray lock of Maven’s hair behind her ear telling her that her girlfriend was probably very amused. She could practically hear Johanna calling her ‘adorable’, stopping herself from doing so only because she knew how Maven didn’t like being called cute.

“I’m… very happy to hear you think so. And I hope whatever is troubling Hilda gets solved soon.”

“I do too. Are you done with your sigils already?”

Between her fingers, she was still holding one last piece of paper, and she flickered her wrist so that it was in front of Johanna’s eyes.

“There’s one more, but I’ll need your help this time.”

“How so- oh.” Before Johanna had time to wonder in what way she could possibly help Maven with magic, her girlfriend had already deposited herself in her lap.

Johanna wasn’t one to blush often, but she was certain the heat on her cheeks was not because of the sigils.

“Just keep this up. I only need to activate this one near your corner of the car.”

Maven then pressed her palm with the sigil to the window, repeating the incantation. This time Johanna was distracted by more than just the magic, in a way that she barely noticed it when the casting was finished and the car was filled by cozy warmth.

“That’s good.” Maven said, approving her own work. “I can go to my seat now, if you want me to.”

Realizing that she’d abstractedly put her arms around Maven’s waist, interlacing her fingers near her side, Johanna shrugged and then caught Maven by surprise by learning in to kiss her lips sweetly. It would have been a very romantic cenario, snug with her love while snow piled outside, if only they weren’t there because they were trapped inside a car due to a mysterious storm. Still, she was with Maven and she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I don’t want you to go anywhere, dearest.”

_#_#_#_

Maven did go back to her seat eventually, but it was only because Johanna remembered a deck of cards that she kept in the glove compartment and after some time they decided to play something. It didn’t take long at all for the librarian to realize that she was pretty bad at that, but seeing Johanna’s childlike joy every time she won a match, she couldn’t even be annoyed.

Safe and sound inside the car, the storm hadn’t really been on the forefront of their minds. The magic kept them comfortable and the flow of people running from the weather outside was all but nonexistent at that point. But they did realize when the few rays of sunshine that made it through the thick layers of clouds became stronger.

Both of them put their cards down, the change so noticeable that they wanted to get a good look at what had happened. While Maven only lowered her window and stuck her head out, Johanna stepped out of the car to look at the sky.

“At last!” Johanna sighed with relief as the clouds became smaller, making a gap just above them.

From her side of the car, Maven was more interested in another thing she’d noticed than in the changing weather. Either her eyes deceived her, or a thunderbird was flying away at that very moment. What it had been doing in the middle of that tempest was anyone’s guess.

However, they were soon startled by the booming sound of thunder, and watched in stunned silence as one of the remaining clouds seemed to swell unnaturally, darkening at each moment that passed. Johanna closed the door by her side just in time to not get hit by the first drops of water.

They were static while they watched the rain pour down, not believing in the situation even though it was happening right in front of their eyes. Stunned by the abrupt turns, a laugh escaped Johanna’s lips, and soon the absurd picture that she made, laughing like a madwoman while monstrous rain surrounded them made Maven break into giggles as well.

“Well dearest, I think we’re going to be here for even longer.” She said after she had gathered herself enough to form a coherent sentence.

Picking up her girlfriend’s cards as well as her own, she began shuffling them together.

“In that case, I would like a revenge match.”

“Alright, but I warn you that you’ll regret it.”

Huffing in feigned outrage, Maven began distributing their cards, and the ones that were left she put to the side.

“In the end I’m glad, you know.” Johanna said after they began their match, making the librarian frown at her. “For the storm. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t even see you today, let alone spend some time with you.”

“Me too, Anna.” Maven smiled. “Me too.”

#fic: silver lining #my fic #sketchbook ship #sketchbook ship hilda #sketchbook ship fanfic #the hilda librarian fanfic #hilda johanna fanfic

[handlewithkara]

@peggystormborn I think Iris Barry is the exception for a variety of reasons (imo partially race, partially the committment of the writers to the couple). But Oliver and Felicity did A LOT OF triangles before they committed and some of the writing for them was terrible on the romance front. People like to just remember the endgame, but they forget how terrible the road there was (Laurel, Sarah, Oliver marrying another woman, Oliver having a child with another woman, an entire crossover dedicated to a fantasy wedding between Laurel and Oliver, evil!Oliver being married to Kara). Granted in a lot of ways it was because Felicity wasn’t the original OTP and I think it took Marc Guggenheim a long time to finally accept it (I think he’s one of those writers who deep at heart doesn’t really like romance at all, and just eventually only grudingly accepted it, but I think the earlier seasons feel like there was a lot of latent animosity from the writers towards the storyline). 

(and one can debate how Barry/Mirror Iris is something like a triangle, even if it is a triangle made up by writers who desperately want to maintain the “pure” status of an OTP, I mean, as long as you don’t think too hard about the implications of Mirror!Iris [I also think that the fact that Iris and Felicity predominantly don’t have superpowers makes it slightly easier for them to work as a functioning couple])

People thinking that the writers have handled Kara’s Kryptonian relations poorly doesn’t change that if the topic does not interest the writers they are not going to write it (and if they write something really tonedeaf about it, that is usually a sign that they don’t really care about a topic). It’s a very common trait of fanbases to take certain topics more seriously. Criticisms of co-dependency and calls for therapy are very, very common examples of this in a multitude of fandoms. 

You have this all over the Supernatural ending, with people saying “Dean was acting suicidal for years, it sends a horrible message that the show ends up with him dying” and “John Winchester was a horrible father, it’s a horrible message that the show ends up with him being in heaven as part of Dean’s personal heaven and the show never doing a story where Dean recognizes that John screwed him up and fully breaks ties with him” and “the brothers were co-dependant, the show getting rid of all the characters who are not them and making the ending exclusively about them is a horrible message”. 

I think it’s pretty clear that these things weren’t written because the writers intended to send that message, they just clearly see the characters very differently and many things the fans obsess over they see as just not that great a deal. Fans often latch onto characters and stories because they see part of themselves in them and project their own experiences and their emotions about those experiences into those characters (look no further than Lena’s fans and what they think is most important about her character). Fans also love their characters and want their angst to be explored, while most shows just want to keep the plot going. That’s why you will have amost every fandom clamoring how the show should do a therapy plot for their favorite character. To them that makes sense, they love their favorite character, so them sitting on a couch and talking about their feelings of course is going to sound fascinating. Doesn’t mean that the writers tick that way at all. 

Supernatural can show pretty clearly how there can be a fundamental miscommunication between the fans and the creators. Where maybe writers might think that Dean’s dogged loyalty is his most fascinating trait, while fans might think his angsty woobie appeal is his most fascinating trait and his loyalty is boring or just a jumping off point or even actively harmful. Social media and fandom, I think it just has a habit of attracting people who have problems in their real lives and they are likely to project their own problems into these characters, but that does not mean that the writers are anywhere the same headspace (particularly in regards to how abusive or co-dependant a relationship is, I think just like with John Winchester, writers are way more likely to have a more positive view towards relationship and stories like that, because to them, those relationships are something good in their world because they are drivers of drama, providers of dramatic scenes). 

And I think history has shown, no matter how annoying it is to the fans, new showrunners just will not be beholden to the themes and messages of previous showrunners. They will pay tribute to whatever part of previous seasons they like, but they are likely going to come in with their own spin, their biases and their own takes of the characters. 

(for what it’s worth, I theorize season 4 started out with the plan for a sister season, to explore (via Red Kara and Elseworld and Amnesia) what is Alex without Kara, what is Kara without Alex and they just sort of lost the main plot somewhere in the middle between introducing Nia, introducing Lex and poorly thought out political metaphor) 

Right now, what little we know of season 6 makes one hopeful that it could have a significant Alex and thusly sister focused plot, with Alex playing around with being a vigilante and there being rumors of another young sisters episode. 

What is interesting about this is that either of Alex most likely developments, Alex becoming a hero in her own right OR Alex finally getting her baby and family provide interesting jumping off points for Kara to reflect on her own life. This does not mean that the writers will actually take this opportunity seriously, but it is at least possible. 

Alex has been a physical fighter working with Kara since forever, but her getting her own costume could be a signal that she is getting her own hero identity. Alex being her own heroic person rather than just the no-name who supports Kara ideally should be an interesting change up in their dynamics. Either with Kara cheerleading and supporting Alex they way Alex has always supported her or with Kara realizing that maybe she has to step back a little and let Alex be her own hero and trust her that she can handle things on her own (potentially culminating with Kara leaving the protection of the city and Earth in the hands of Alex). 

I could picture Kara having a relationship with William and eventually rejecting him symbolically but I just really wouldn’t expect it to be about Argo. But I could picture a plot where seeing Alex thrive as a hero makes Kara think she has the freedom to kick back and focus on her romantic relationship or focus on being just Kara Danvers for a while (and in the end realizing that that is not enough for her, I just would expect this NOT to be about Kara Zor-El but about Supergirl, Kara realizing that she needs to be Supergirl to be happy even if being Supergirl has made her life more complicated in many ways). 

On the other hand, if Alex were to finally get her child wish fulfilled it could a be a good story to explore what the equivalent is for Kara (while with Alex, she has always been protective of Kara, so her having somebody else to raise and be protective over would also provide good emotional dramatic potential). 

But it could just as equally be that they parallel Alex being happy with a baby and a girlfriend as their little family with Kara just getting William as the nice unproblematic understanding boyfriend, forming their own family unit albeit without a child. Or it could be Kara just getting gratification of being a supportive and loving aunt. You never know. Supernatural shows that just because the fans are convinced that the show will go one way (Family is about more than blood ties! The show will end with showing how Sam and Dean have evolved beyond “the two of us against the world!” and their family unit now includes Eileen, Castiel and Jack) doesn’t mean that the writers see it the same way. 

It’s very interesting in how this reaction mirrors the reaction to the How I Met Your Mother Finale where the writers thought it made sense to circle back to the start and most of the general audience disliked it because they felt the characters had developed beyond the original premise. But it still shows how this particular pattern of thinking is one that writers are very likely to fall into. 

Finales often have a way of exposing whether one’s (or even the audience in general) perception of the characters and their relationships and perceived moral takeaways align with the one’s of the writers. I don’t even think that that is something that can just be “fixed” by telling writers “don’t be the Game of Thrones finale, don’t be the HIMYM finale”. If powerful writers just have a certain perception of characters, that’s just how they see them and they can’t just break out of. 

I guess one can argue that maybe it’s a sign of poor writing (even if it might be good business sense) if a show supports such a variety of readings till the very end (are we watching a story about co-dependant siblings which should end with them lovingly and supportively letting each other go? or are we watching a show about siblings through thick and thin, more powerful than anything?), but I think in some cases it just arises naturally because of the way fans can project themselves into characters in ways that was not intended by the writers and that can’t fully be controlled by them (and since those projections are heavily influenced by people’s very varied personal experiences you also can’t just please everyone).  

#supergirl #kara zor-el #kara danvers #danvers sisters #alex danvers

[nicknellie]

Honestly that’s me, also kinda good night/morning again.

You should be so proud that you were able to finish your school work, that is such an accomplishment! Also cat 👀🥺, but I hope that your kitten didn’t cause too much of a mess! Imagine if we made tallies though, that would be hilarious (also adding yes)

Box stuff

1. Yes, you have described them so well! Reggie is organized but at the same time very chaotic which frustrates Alex so much. (Even more so due to the fact that Luke is just chaotic not organized at all, I mean have you seen his writing) Also agreed, Bobby is middle and I love the drum idea that’s amazing!

2. The baby is an honorary member of the band is amazing, I love that like so much.

3. That is precisely what happens, also because Reggie was going to give it to Alex for food however he needed to put it somewhere and completely forgot

Board games and Jam stuff

1. I love the little detail that you added of matching pajamas because that’s exactly how their game nights go a majority of the time. Yes to all of these, Bobby is the one who flipped a table once during Pictionary and since then the game has been banned. (Also points if Alex did the same during Cluedo because Reggie just kept on saying that he was suspicious) ‘Reggie we are not playing about us, it’s a mystery game with clues’

(Also bring me up suspicious, I remember reading some thing about where the boys play among us and that’s all I can think about. Because they do and the boys just keep calling each other out, i’m not going on a tangent right now but I may in the future 😂)

I haven’t played Articulate before however yes they do! (Also for some reason the fact that the box has a circle which makes me think of the game of life, for I don’t know why reasons, so I’m going to offer that up)

You’re absolutely right they definitely do go to thrift shops and just find random cool stuff. (Alex joins them later on)

I love the detail that you added that Luke on Julie’s team won’t win which is mostly because he won’t stop staring at her throughout the entire game. Reggie is definitely the master, except for in scramble because Luke shines in that game. After people started taking sides and stuff monopoly was banned very quickly, you’re so right.

2. I really wish I could explain why I thought of this but legitimately this all became a thing from me looking at some random thing of strawberry jam. That is so clever and that is the ultimate pun for Reggie. (Since you mentioned different versionsc all I can think about is this song actually starting out with Reggie talking about how much he loves etc. jam and how all the rest of the boys have problems)

Number stuff

2. Yes, (eventually) in the end everyone has a couples jumper as well. Also The fact that Luke stretches Alex‘s hoodie is hilarious, especially because he was doing it to make Julie jealous basically. Also adding on, Willie and Alex are cuddling under a blanket during this whole thing.

3. Yes, Luke just wants to make Julie happy in life and that’s everything to be honest.

4. You know those shows you have where you put it on a watch later and you’re like I’m genuinely interested in this however procrastination is my best friend and suddenly it’s like three years later, well Merlin may be that show for me. I support that AU idea so much, we need that in our lives. (Honestly whenever I think of two halves of a whole I think of yin and yang and I can’t explain why). And I love how this made you think of a fanfic, because I’ve had similar thoughts as well during our conversations.

(Wait yes, Alex is definitely Merlin he has that oh I’m wise so you need to listen to me kind of style. Also definitely takes Luke, Arthur, under his wing to make sure that he is not dumb/dies)

5. I just want more Alex and Julie to be honest, I don’t feel as thought we got to see a lot of that in season one. Thank you, yes my thoughts exactly. (Honestly I like to think that he came out to her as well however at the same time due to the fact that people in the 90s weren’t as accepting I feel like he just doesn’t know how she’s going to react and is kind of saving that for a later date🥺)

6. Exactly, so Bobby has no way that they could technically be out there (how Julie kind of draw strength from the fact that her mom is watching over her which is why she believes that she got the flower during that exact moment) also things would be much different if they had been able to send some kind of sign down to him. Even if it’s something little just to show that they are still there for him and even death couldn’t come between them.

8. I think I now know how you feel when I mentioned him writing ‘we were going to be legends’ on the back of that photo. Because ouch, and you are so right it’s not even funny. Nothing is the same without the boys because they all have little personality things that make simple tasks even better. Luke is able to do the Rubiks cube because he fidgets a lot with his hands, Alex is able to do the puzzles because he has really great concentration and it helps him feel more focused, also same for Reggie he’s able to do crosswords and sudokus because he’s able to focus on the more also he’s really great with numbers. (Also I totally didn’t say that Bobby doesn’t understand sudokus, because I don’t understand them)

That last sentence, you are correct but whoa that is painful.

10. Gotta love our random tangents

Yes, and the boys know that Bobby went on the logflume however they just don’t talk about it. Reggie has so many scrapbooks it’s not even funny legitimately once he realizes that he can take 1000 pictures and they can be stored in one place he kind of explodes (doesn’t stop him from making scrapbook though)

Alex just loves having people be happy, (also I didn’t think about an AU situation in which he does run into someone who has a skateboard )

I cannot describe that ride either however I know exactly what you’re talking about and Alex being impatient to go on rides is legitimately everyone who has ever been in a theme park. Reggie doesn’t talk to Luke for a good amount of time because Luke is the one who said that the ride wouldn’t be so bad, ‘I mean what’s the worst that can happen’ (also I did not say that just so I can reply, famous last words)

(Same energy as ‘street dogs haven’t killed us yet’)

Toffee nut- I’m glad you like the theory because I legitimately have no explanation for why Bobby is allergic to gluten but it just fits. Alex loves baking gluten-free stuff because not only is he reassured that Bobby has some thing that he can eat but in general it’s always nice to find new recipes.

Also random thought but every once in a while the boys will go somewhere go to bakeries and if they have gluten-free options they will try whatever they can.

Once again Alex just cannot say no to Luke and Reggie and they definitely eat the gluten-free food.

11. I love that for us 😂, even if there’s no possible way that I can happen it somehow did. (Also Reggie has a picture with the queen and I have no clue if there is even a way of having photoshop back then however Reggie is crazy enough to pull it off so they just think that it’s Photoshop)

13. Fairytale princess Luke is everything we need in our life. (This is also a band photo that is stored somewhere, because of course Luke wouldn’t do this alone)

14. His fists are like clenched tightly however he’s trying to pretend like he isn’t angry. I love that line with everything I have, that needs to be in season 2. Also the fact that someone who is very tall is trying to pretend to be someone who isn’t as tall is very humorous to me and I cannot explain why.

16. I love how determined Luke and Reggie are in this little scenario that you have painted, which they definitely are. One time Bobby is out and it’s just Alex with them two and he has no clue what to do because they can’t be in the kitchen however he cannot resist their puppy dog eyes.

17. Wait I love this (also Reggie finds baby photos of Willie that are actually baby Willie and shows them to Alex) (no one knows how but to be honest I could definitely see Reggie going to Caleb just ask for baby photos)

Also Willie finds it adorable that Alex is pretending to be embarrassed and definitely teases him about it. Bonus points if there’s a picture of Little Alex with a hotdog shirt and Willie is like ‘I knew there was another reason why I called you hot dog’

19. Water fights all the time, also during winter they have snowball fights all the time as well. (Also they always have water balloons on hand and it is very common for someone to throw it at another person‘s back and or down their shirt)

Yes, I love this theme as well, (despite being a very competitive person) Luke is just not competitive)

20. Same lol, honestly all Alex quotes and just Alex is everything and part of the reason why I love him so much.

(Also sidenote the fact that Owen Joyner performs these lines so beautifully. Maybe this is just me geeking out but the delivery and the pacing and the changing of voices from either high pitch to low pitch or whatever the line needs is just fantastic. Well if you can tell someone has been in any kind of music/acting field it’s that last sentence right there)

Alex is just happy that his friends are bonding with the guy that he likes. Especially because they are all the type of person that if their partner and or one of the boys doesn’t like each other then there is no way that they will be together. Also yes, Alex has a love hate relationship with Willie and Reggie bonding over puns.

Luke is very well practiced at egging houses, anyone who has ever made fun of the boys can confirm, and he is very torn between I want Flynn to like me but this is Julie’s house. Also yes, in the end he does egg her house.

Hear me out, she would’ve won mother of the year for being supportive towards Alex however I don’t feel like she would’ve for Luke because it didn’t really feel like she was supportive of the band which is basically Luke’s entire being. But aside from that yes. (But it got us unsaid Emily so I mean is that really a flaw 😂)

21. Yes, adding onto what you said honestly one thing that I keep thinking about which is the only thing he’s never told Luke is that he actually saw Emily and Mitch one time after Luke ran away.

Honestly for some reason I keep saying to myself he got arrested. Just because for being a person who basically freaked out at breaking into a museum it would be hilarious that he’s actually been in trouble with cops before, but anyways Emily and Mitch are his emergency contact so they have to pick him up and then that’s where they talk about Luke and everything. (I really wish I can explain this, also the fact that I’ve said this like 3 times already is concerning 😂😂)

But going back to what you said, he struggles with that so much because he loves Luke so much but at the same time due to the fact that Alex has such a bad relationship with his parents he doesn’t want Luke to end up on that note.

Mitch having a conversation with Ray is everything I needed and I did not think I would. (Imagine if Kenny Ortega had a secret Tumblr though 😂😂)

24. I want to see Flynn’s reaction to flying solo now it’s what we do deserve. Yes, it’s like you read my mind because that is exactly what happened, I feel like we can kind of see it in all eyes on me, with her face kind of being a tiny bit upset with Julie talking to the boys but she isn’t able to see what’s going on. (Even though the boys have only had one interaction with her they are very devastated, all they want is to be her friend as well)

Love how you meant Carrie, also why am I now thinking about Flynn joining dirty candy just to spite Julie, (I need to stop) also yess this is how the reaction song comes. Possibly maybe even a sad song because Flynn is talking about how much she loves Julie but she’s been feeling so disconnected from her lately. Yes, Jadah Maris is so talent.

Honestly I only know that video because one of my friends was singing the lyrics and I was very concerned 😂. Yes, you should be proud, maybe it’s because I cannot remember titles for the life of me but that is a very accomplishing thing.

25. Ahhh, dad Alex is everything. Also due to the fact that he has quick wit for a bit it would just be him and Carrie joking around with each other. Also I feel like the show does kind of show that although Trevor is supportive he is really bad at discipline 😂. (Honest Reggie wouldn’t be able to able to tell her off at all because he is afraid of somehow becoming like his parents, even though the boys keep reassuring him that will never happen)

26. Honestly the boys are kind of just holding a grudge at this point but it’s Trevor making the hats that has them go into a big group hug and burst into tears also the actual forgiving.

Also going along with the fact that Willie wears a beanie, he also wears a bandanna. I’m glad that’s stuck in your head to be honest.

28. Yes, what if the final product of Reggie raging at Bobby is Now or Never (however this has been re-make and has switch genres by Luke) (I have reasoning)

32. I love just thinking about some fans randomly bumping into sunset Curve. Legitimately they bring stickers and fanart everywhere because Alex is definitely the type of person to go to a grocery store at 3 AM just to look for a particular ingredient (for an example)

Honestly I had no reasoning for Alex being a hedgehog except for the fact that hedgehogs are cute so I most definitely agree and you are entirely correct

Yes, and once Alex finishes the puzzle it’s framed just because not only can he not take it apart but he’s afraid of it being ruined and it is so amazing

34. Yes, precisely and there’s only one photo of Luke that works and it’s him glaring and crossing his arms like an upset puppy (still stuck)

35. (Honestly Ray just adopts all of them, Luke, Reggie,Alex, Flynn, Willie all of them) I legitimately said this for just someone however instead of collecting stray cats Ray takes in stray children. Also, yes just best father of the year goes to Ray for the past 15 years. That is a very good theory because this entire time I’ve just been thinking of Reggie taking pictures.

Also the fact that technically Willie can’t show up on camera I didn’t think about but for the purpose of him looking absolutely amazing in these photo shoots I’m going to ignore that.

37. Yes, and Alex does have to make rules because otherwise he won’t have any clothes. The only reason Willie is allowed to get away with it is because he looks fantastic in the hoodie and Alex just has heart eyes.

39. Yes, she always talks out loud to herself and Trevor just silently encourages her and then he replies this one time and she is absolutely shocked but because the idea so so brilliant she immediately jumps on it.

40. Seeing Alex dance with Luke to dirty dancing with this particular dance in mind is what I need to see in season 2. Also yes, Reggie as well, honestly it just becomes a band thing because

Lol that is so relatable, also 10 out of 10 songs to be stuck in your head.

(Sorry for like the four notifications you got from me liking this post, because of course I just accidentally kept double tapping this and then letting out a gasp because it unliked the post)

Also the fact that this started from jigsaws and now we have three categories is everything

Good morning/night/afternoon/whatever time you’re reading this!

Ok so before I start I realised when I was trying to sleep that I left out a few things. I wanted to include a photo of a couples jumper and also the link to my Mitch headcanons, which I think I mentioned and then just didn’t include.

The only pics coming up were Christmas ones but this is the style I was in envisaging! Two heads holes, comfy, not just a random hoodie like Luke and Reggie try and use!

So here’s the link lol

BOX STUFF

1. Ajskfnskfo I love this like Luke’s writing is terrible can you imagine the state of his bedroom??

Actually, mentioning his bedroom, it was probably a mess and still is because Emily and Mitch didn’t tidy it when he went away in case he came back and then didn’t want to change anything after he died

3. YES definitely Alex being the designated chef of the group and Reggie bringing him recipes, except that’s the one he just totally forgets about, I love it

BOARD GAMES AND JAM STUFF

1. I love that so much omg they all have one game they just can’t play 😂 Bobby did that in Pictionary because he was doing his drawing and thought he’d made it really obvious, but the others were purposely guessing wrong and it pissed him off. And yes lmao Alex trying to explain to Reggie that it wasn’t him it was a random character for gods sake Reggie can you just read the damn rules?!

Omg PLEASE go on that tangent 😂😂

Oh yes totally they play game of life! It’s the only one Alex is really really bad at

Yessss Alex joining them is everything!

Omg yeah Luke is just watching Julie the whole time and she’s trying to help so they can win and he just doesn’t concentrate so they lose. Julie gets mad at him for it but he thinks it’s worth it

Lmao I can just imagine them playing monopoly - Alex is in charge of money and stuff and when Luke lands on one of Reggie’s spaces he can’t pay. Alex wants to just let him off (because he’s doing terribly and can’t win the game anyway) but Reggie is competitive and wants him to pay and Julie is backing him up because she likes playing by the rules. It’s two vs two, ends up in a big argument, and like you say it’s immediately banned 😂

2. Absjdldlajkd yes like the song actually started out about that, they figured out the tune was really catchy and then turned it into an entire song

NUMBER STUFF

2. Yes lol Alex and Willie just snuggled under the blanket like “guys there are easier ways to cuddle y’know” meanwhile Reggie got uncomfortable and tried to wriggle out the hoodie and they all just heard a ripping sound from the hoodie and Alex looked like he would have killed them if they weren’t already dead

4. YES even if you haven’t seen the show yet that’s literally perfect. Alex being one of the only ones who can get away with telling Prince Luke how dumb he is like Merlin and Arthur and keeping him safe. But somehow Luke still ends up dying from eating a bad hotdog

And I totally see where you get yin and yang from tbh!

5. Yes I can totally see that as well! I’ve read quite a few fics where he comes out to her and honestly it’s so cute every time because his reaction to her being immediately accepting of him is amazing. (Also I love it when she accepts him by immediately coming out to him as well - usually it’s bi Julie which I do love but I really strongly headcanon asexual Julie (best when she’s both tbh) and I realise that’s off-topic but yeah)

6. Yes omg now I kind of want to write that AU too 😂 Bobby somehow getting a sign from his friends to tell him that they’re okay and they’re still there. Like they could still come back to Julie, but in the dark room they get a glimpse of Bobby being sad and get to help him, therefore he doesn’t make so many mistakes

8. Absabskksksbf yeah omg 🥺 they all have their strengths and Bobby can’t build his own up to match them after they’re gone. And yes lol tbh I have literally no clue about sudokus either so I relate to not being able to do them, and props to Reggie for being amazing at them 😂

10. Awww yes Reggie just getting super excited when he finds out how much technology has progressed and how many pics he can take 🥺 also I can’t remember what they’re called but Reggie gets one of those portable printer things that’s kind of like a Polaroid but you can print them off your phone? Idk if I described that well but Julie gets him one and he loves it. Also at theme parks he always buys the photos the ride automatically takes

Oh my god oh my god oh my god yes! I love that so much omgggg your mind! It’s the one time Bobby doesn’t manage to pull him out of the way in time and it’s literally the best thing he could ever have done

Lmaooo yes that’s perfect Luke convincing them to go on it is definitely street dog energy. Reggie just refuses to even look at him because he’s that childish lmao

Ooooh yes and whenever they go to bakeries either Alex or Reggie will ask for the recipes of stuff they like (usually Reggie because no one can say no to him, but also Alex because he can be persuasive)

Yes lol eventually Bobby has to have a special like box or container to put his gluten-free stuff in otherwise Luke and Reggie will eat it all.

11. Yes definitely! Idk if they had photoshop either but they’re all convinced that’s what it is but he’s just really innocently like “no I swear I did” and it’s normally Luke who rolls his eyes like “ok sure buddy”

13. I swear if I was better at art I’d draw Cowboy Sunset Curve and Fairytale Princess Sunset Curve but alas no 😂 maybe I’ll just do it anyway lol

14. No I totally get that, it’s the sort of thing that’s funny for no reason lmaooo

16. Yes I love that like he is just moments away from opening the door and letting them back in but then he shakes his head like “no, focus” and the cycle keeps repeating. Also I love how in the scenario they keep moving but all they’re doing apart from that is puppy-dog eyes and that’s enough to nearly break Alex

17. YES. Willie has no idea where he got the photos from but doesn’t really question it either. And I can sooo see him asking Caleb for baby photos - like, he wants a Caleb scrapbook because like it or not he’s been a major part of their afterlives since he wants to remember him! So Caleb is confronting them after he stops possessing Nick and is doing this grand speech and when he’s done Reggie just raises his hand and goes “sorry but do you have any baby photos of you?” and Caleb just doesn’t question it and hands them over the next time they see each other. (Reggie also has Nick’s baby photos. Reggie has literally everyone’s baby photos.)

Ajsbskldl I love that! Little Alex in a hotdog shirt and Willie pretending to have some sort of psychic power like “yeah I totally knew about that it’s the other reason I call you hotdog!”

(BABY REGGIE IN A HOTDOG COSTUME.)

19. Omg Sunset Curve/Julie and the Phantoms snowball fights yessss and the water balloons are perfect - Luke’s preferred method is to sneak up behind someone and slam it on the top of their head so they’re totally drenched

20. Yes exactly!!! I definitely think Owen is one of the best actors in the show and one of the best in anything I’ve seen recently, he just plays Alex so perfectly and everything you said is 100% right I couldn’t have put it better myself

Yes that’s exactly their relationship! Like as sad as he would have been Alex would have dropped Willie if the guys hated him (and let’s be honest, seeing as Willie accidentally played a big part in the thing with Caleb they definitely could have hated him)

Yeah and Luke isn’t really sure if Julie being so mad at him for egging her house is worth it but he had fun so he goes with it

Oh yeah that makes so much more sense you’re totally right, but yeah it got us Unsaid Emily so in the end it was a good thing lmao

21. Ooooh yes! They share everything but that’s the one thing he has never told him

Lmaoooo yes but then what would he have been arrested for?? I feel like some sort of misunderstanding - like someone dropped something, he tried to be helpful and pick it up but then they accused him of theft and called the cops on him. Or he actually did do something illegal, knowing it was illegal. Aww yes Emily and Mitch picking him up and finally getting to see him and find out about Luke again 🥺

And yes exactly took the words right out of my mouth

If Kenny had a secret Tumblr and saw all this I would die laughing. Especially if he somehow included some of it in the show that would be the funniest thing. Sadly it’s very unlikely 😂😭

24. Yesss I agree we can totally see it then! I feel like it’s the really predictable scenario for her to be left out but I also think it would work really well

Oooooh Flynn joining Dirty Candi could be really interesting! I feel like it would only be for one song and then she’d feel bad but I’d actually love to see that.

I can totally see it being a sad song and also I think it would just be her and Julie there, the boys are nowhere to be seen and it’d give them a chance to make up before the boys are let in on it

25. Yes definitely! Because Carrie has such quick wit too their banter would be brilliant. Yeah you’re definitely right about Trevor, he’d do anything for her except discipline her well, and omg Reggie 🥺🥺 you’re so right, he’d be terrified, so he wouldn’t get involved at all when she’s being told off by Alex

26. I feel like maybe that was Bobby’s way of settling arguments back in the nineties (“Luke’s mad at me, guess I’d better make him a hat”) which is why it finally convinces them to forgive him

Omg bandana Willie might be even better than beanie Willie... maybe it’s just any time Willie has headwear, because I love Willie wearing his helmet too lol

28. Oh yes I love that! Originally the lyrics were “pack up your yarn Bobby, now or never” and Luke was like hmmm I like that

32. Omg that’s literally perfect I love that so much. Alex in his pyjamas (and a hoodie) staring at flour trying to remember which kind he needed to buy at 3 o’clock in the morning and the shop assistant is like omg you’re Alex Mercer then hands him a sticker

Yes definitely!!! He frames all his favourite puzzles and has them hanging up around the studio, but that’s his ultimate favourite and he makes sure to clean the frame of dust twice a week

35. Omfg yes that’s brilliant. Ray has two biological kids but actually he has four ghosts and his daughters best friend too (and maybe some other we don’t see, like Carlos’s best friend??) the comparison to stray cats is amazing - they just come in for food and maybe a hug then they’ll be on their way again.

Yeah same lmao I realised as I was writing that they wouldn’t show up but that’s a tiny detail and for this we can disregard it completely 😂😂 (or maybe he does show up sometimes, and even when he doesn’t there’s a golden orb there like in Ray’s photos and it actually looks really good somehow)

37. I live for heart eyes Alex tbh. And yes the other rules include: you must wash it if you get it dirty, if I find any rips I will literally kill you (because Luke once ripped one of his nicest hoodies), and for the love of god don’t lose it

39. Yes I feel like they’d be such a Father-Daughter-Dream-Team you know?? Like they’re really close and they know each other really well and the little things like that are the best part of their relationship!

40. Ahajdnsls yes I need it!

Lol the notifications were fine I literally do that so often bc I forget that’s how tumblr works 😂

Yes I was literally going to mention how we have categories now!!! I honestly find this so funny like how did we get all this from a jigsaw 😂😂😂

#love this for us 😂 #williexmercer #asks #emily answers

[staycatcher]

Cursed 001

Member: Kim Seungmin x Femme Reader (she/her) (Jisung is also in this, we love wingpeople)

Au: (Dorky/Pure) Frat Boy! Seungmin x Baddie! Reader + Unexpected Soulmate AU [in the same universe as Anguish, no need to read it though!]

Genre: Crack, Angst, Fluff? (she’s all over the place, partner🤠)

Rated 14? for too much swearing, kind-of-stranger danger, getting into mentioned kind-of-stranger’s car (don’t do what y/n did!!), suggestive themes & jokes, hangover & leftover tipsiness, cringe, promiscuous bisexual reader, nothing explicit though!! Also, Jisung is too much I’m sorry

Word Count: 4.1k

Notes: special thanks to @staytion-nine for being a bro and reading & critiquing my full shitty drafts and @strayneoculturekids & @hyunjinssmile for thinking my crack parts were good & somewhat funny way back when I wrote them ilyssssm🤗💞💛

ps, I hope you readers liked/found my easter eggs!!🥴

“Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- Curse? Wait, hold up. Hold the fuck up. I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-”

Cursed series 1/?-  ~001~  😈🤓😳~

Growing up, not a single day passed without your single mother reminding you that meeting your soulmate wasn't going to happen for you. The odds were not at all in your favor, not her’s, not your grandmother’s and not even your great grandmother’s mom; being the youngest girl of the youngest in the family made you carry such a burden. The streak that your family had going on for generations was too strong to break at this point. It’d be a miracle and a half if you ever heard of your soulmate for a fraction of a second. You started to accept by the time you learned how to read, that a life with a soulmate was frankly not in the cards for you. 

To say you were completely and utterly blind-sighted when you met your soulmate, would be the understatement of the century. You lived your whole life with no fear or any expectations of long lasting relationships whether it’s with a soulmate or not. You lived the life you knew many people with soulmates or obsessions with commitment couldn’t live. You lived a life of freedom, focused on yourself. 

Now, it's been three months at this university; three months, and you already have a reputation that precedes you. Contrary to popular belief, you don't like the attention. Yet somehow the spotlight seems to follow you. Though, you would argue you weren’t as charismatic as you were careless. Your carelessness seemed to be your charm and charming you seemed to be.

A groan tore out from your throat when as stretched over to snatch your boots. Jelly legs hobbling all over the place as you scrambled to tug them on, stubbornly not zipping down the zipper which only made it harder for you in the long run. Once on, you trudge on forward, not giving a shit if things were inside out or not, all that mattered to you was going back to sleep in your own bed. You have to remain careful though. You don’t want to go too fast and have stomach acid erupt out of you in aggravation, ruining the Sorority’s carpet and your morning. So, you watched each and every wobbly step as you did your best to navigate your way out of the crowded, trashed halls of the post-party filth. Fortunately, it seemed you’ve risen before anyone else, no conscious creatures for you to deal with. 

The clock struck six o’clock as you strut down Greek row, your steps more firm now, waking you up more with each step. However, waking up meant more hangover symptoms, though you weren’t exactly sober. You made it about four more clumsy steps down the sidewalk before a car slows down next to you. This has happened to you more times than you can count, but never when the birds were fucking chirping. You huff out in irritation, walking faster, thus, less firm as you tried to remain calm. 

Who the hell pulls up to you when it’s fucking sunrise?! Unbelievable. 

You only make it two more steps before the right next to you. Even though you tell yourself not to, your head swivels to look at the driver on instinct. He looks vaguely familiar, you’ve seen those cheeks somewhere but his name is lost on you. You acknowledge him with a questioning look as he rolls down the window.

“Want a ride?” He offers like you’ve known him for ten years and your pets were best friends. You were expecting a catcall but his voice was full of awkward sincerity and a bit of reluctance that couldn’t be faked.     

“I thought chivalry was de-ad.” You choked, giving a nudge with your words to test his sincerity.

“I thought you liked girls more and don’t believe in it anyway.” He dished back. Okay, fair. This guy’s a real one. 

“Touché... Ohhh what the helll-” You huffed, “I’ll take it.” You vaguely recognize him and he seems to know you too so what can hurt; that’s at least how you look at it in the buzzed moment. 

His unimpressive car comes to a smooth stop, you hear the doors unlock and you sluggishly yanked the door open and groan as you slide in, kindly ignoring the mess because you’re not much better. 

 “Did you not party last ni’?” You blurted, looking over at him with a dry smile. As you do, you can really take him in. His dark, messy hair and his cute over-expressive face, topped with a pair of doughy cheeks. Despite the cuteness, there’s not a doubt in your mind this is some frat boy on the college team, though you’re not even sure what team is in season right now. One thing was for sure though, his guns were proudly out of a cut out muscle-t like a living, breathing fuckboy starter pack. Infuriatingly, he pulled it off, he looked too attractive for this time, on the weekend especially. With all that being said, he seriously looks like the kind of guy that should be as fucked up as you are right now. And yet, here he is, behind the wheel looking as sober as a slice of bread.

“Nah,” He starts, getting his foot off the brake and turning back into the road, “me and my soulmate stayed in ‘cuz coach is making practice earlier than usual.” 

Well, that train left the station. “Ahh, that-that's too bad.” You heard yourself pettily trail off. 

“Nah, ‘zall good. I think coach is taking it out on us ‘cuz his wife found out he’s doin’ drugs and gambling again-“

“Do ya have any friends like you?” You blurted out again. 

“Huh??” 

“Do ya got any friends that do things like this?” You grumbled, resisting the urge to facepalm at yourself. Fucking hell, Y/n.

“That go to practice this early? Yehh. The whole fucking basketball te-“ 

“No!” You hiss, head pulsing, his voice is too goddamn loud. “Gentlemen!” clarifying and sulkily leaned your head against the cool window. 

“Ohhh!!~” Then he belts out laughing like a blaring fire alarm, making your entire brain rattle.

“Shhhh!” As you turn to glare at him, you realize your turn was coming up. “Wait!! Turn here!!” 

He hissed and stepped harshly on the breaks. “This one?” 

“Yeah!!-“ it was already too late when you unnecessarily clarified, so he had to turn around and go turn in again. Thank god the streets were dead at this date and time. You’re sure he broke at least four traffic laws.

“Shit, man!! You can’t say that and then expect me to make the turn, I got too excited!!” He was beaming, far too excited for your dumb question and not at all concerned about his chaotic driving. 

“What the fuuck?!?! You’ got a soulmate-“

“No, dumbass!!” He whines like you just missed the best play in the whole game, too bad there aren’t instant replies for day to day conversations. “I have a bro who we’ve been trying to get laid.~” And now he makes the turn, good job buddy. 

“Okay, two stops from now you’re gonna turn left.” It is then that you realize the last part of what he just said. “Huh? Li-like frat bro?”

“Yeah, dude. He’s so pissy I don’t think his hand is doin’ it for him anymore.” The dude laughed at his own joke, elbowing you in the side. Normally you would have joined in and punched him but for some reason, your little fucked up heart started to warm up hearing about this cute frat boy.

“Ahhhh.” And then you laughed a little too late, his wingmanning ass didn’t notice.

“Yeah! And he says books are better than pussy so that’s how we know he’s becoming a lost cause. We’re placing our bets that he won’t get it on until he finds his soulmate.” 

“What a swee-eetheart.~” You hiccupped with dazed eyes and chapped smile. You had to admit, you were endeared. You never heard about a dorky, innocent fraternity boy before, and you never would have thought that it would appeal to you.

“Is it this one or the next one?” 

“This one. So whoo’z this friend of yours-“ Unfortunately you were caught off by a ringtone blasting at the fullest volume making your brain wail in pain, for the second fucking time this morning. 

He just snickers. “Sorry, gotta answer this… Yuh~?” You just huffed and closed your eyes, deflating a little bit. 

“Seungmin?!?”

For some unknown reason, that name made you jolt back up into your seat. ‘Seungmin’, why does that sound so familiar?! 

“Well, speak of the devil!!~” He got too excited and looked at you, and gives you an over-enthused wink. You’re assuming this is the frat bro. “Your car won’t start??~~” This dude, you still don’t quite remember the name of, was really playing this up. For possibly the same unknown reason, him talking to this dude has your full attention. Normally you’d eavesdrop half-heartedly but this time your whole heart started to beat a way it never has before, begging you to soak up as much of this half conversation as possible. 

“Of course I’ll drive my wittle brother!!~... -fuck off a few days totally does count!!- Whatever!! Anyway, fair warning, I became a fucking uber this morning, I’m driving this girl too so prepare yourself!!... Shhh, it’s not a joke! And she’s really hot; make sure your heart and dick are ready.” 

You were about to beat this dude before you vaguely heard the muffled voice on the other line chew him out for you. You couldn’t hold in your smile before you realized; even though you were abnormally giddy, now is not the goddamn time to meet this kid. You looked like you were run over by three different military-grade vehicles and you’re more than sure you had lipstick marks from last night smeared in various places all over you. But most importantly, you were in a limbo of drunk and hungover. You needed way more rest and sustenance before you should interact with anyone of importance. You opened your mouth to scream at him but you were cut off yet again. 

“...Yeah, yeah. Anyways, I’ll turn around now, just for you.~ I’m pretty sure we’re close to her dorm but who cares how late I’m gonna be for practice! I’m making shit happen! See ya in a sec, muah!” If you weren’t high key starting to panic, you would’ve laughed at this dude’s unending ridiculousness. There is no way in hell you’re gonna meet this familiar stranger‘s friend that he’s setting you up with at six fucking a.m. in a frankly disgusting state.

“Do not turn around or I swear to fucking Rupaul-“

“No can do, bro. Besides, you seemed interested in him so why not!?! Be grateful! I’m gonna have to run double the fuckin laps cuz a’ this.”

‘“Why not’?!! I just got outta’ a stranger’s bed and I’m still drunk and somehow hungover too and my dorm is just around the corner-“

“Listen; bros before hoes. Frat legacy.” And with that, he chuckled as he turned the car around for the second time today. You take back the gentleman comment you gave him earlier, he’s a pile shit. 

“I’m gonna fucking jump out of the car-“ you groaned with a bluff, tugging at your smeared face and he smugly locked the doors before you could finish. “Cmonnn!~ It’s too fucking early for this shit, man! Why didn’t I just keep walking or just stayed-“

“I'm doing you a favor!~”

“Dropping me off when and where I asked you to is doing me a favor! That’s literally why I’m in your messy ass car that smells like rancid fuckin’ cheesecake in the first place!!”

“Hey, now you’re just being mean!”

You groaned and glared out the window, opting to ignore him now. This argument had you sobering up. This just really wasn’t it. You resisted the urge to pull down the mirror and see how bad you really looked but, you would rather not know how bad it is. Knowing your past morning afters, you’ve looked a hell of a lot cuter every other time. 

It seems like you’re just gonna have to grin and bear it and let this one go. There’s plenty of bitches in the sea. Bitches that never made you heart skipped like this before- and without you even meeting them-

All you could think about how embarrassing and fucked up this whole thing he’s pulling is as you glare at the passing sidewalks and cars parked at the side of the roads. You wish the passing textured and crumbly neighborhood sidewalks could swallow you up. It’s not often that you felt so burdened at an awaiting social encounter these days. You hated this.

“And we’re here!!” He stops and proudly puts the car into park. “Okay, Siri, call ‘Noodle Bitchass’.” 

The fuck-

-“I’m sorry. I didn’t get that. Would you like me to search the web for ‘Nude space app’?”-

“Ughhhhh. Fuck you!! I said, ‘Call~ Nooo-DiLL BiiiiTCh AAAssss’~~!!!”

 -“Okay. Calling Noodle Bitchass nerd emoji, middle finger emoji in medium tan’.”- You were about to cry in shocked laughter but the guy answered too soon so you had to snort into your hand and curl in on yourself. 

“Yah!! Han Jisung!!” Holy mother almighty, his voice is pure sunshine and honey. Your body slowly uncurled back up on its own. Fuck, okay it’s on speaker. Shit, I can’t even breathe, can’t make a sound.

“We’re here, man.” 

“Hhhhh… she’s not still with you is she?” Is it possible to be attracted to a voice? I think I’m attracted to a voice. 

“Hell yeah, she is! Suck it up, bro. You’re already making me late and she’s fine~!!”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Jisung-“ Oh, good lord. Him swearing really just--

“Get in or I’ll leave you here and set her up with Innie instead.” You just heard the guy sigh and the sound of a facepalm, you’re guessing, before the line went dead. And finally. You could finally howl with laughter, or perhaps it was more like manic screaming in infatuation.  

You have never, in all your years of living felt like this because of a person. Is this what it feels like to be whipped? Fuck, fuck, fuck- It’s like I’m at a concert- but not really and-

You were still in the thick of it when a door ripped open. When you reflexively looked over, all the air that was left in your lungs pathetically wheezed out of you like a sad balloon. 

Then the sensations all hit you.

Wow, okay the drunkenness and hangover is gone? I feel good? I feel alive, I feel the cool late autumn air? I feel feelings; feelings I’ve never felt before? You were light as a mother fuckin’ feather and astounded as all burning hell. You were openly experiencing so many intense emotions, something that hasn’t happened in so many years. 

At that moment your mouth and his gawk right open at the exact same time, not that the two of you noticed. Without any volition, your eyes immediately drown in the other. Okay, he’s actual artwork? He was dressed so cute like he was ready to take some cute aesthetic photos for a dumb little blog. Oh god, he smells like a cup of tea in the forest after it rained?! That’s so specific- but. He smells so lovely. 

His hair was pure angelic fluff and his skin was a light, silky caramel. You watched before your tired, dry eyes, the caramel in his cheeks rise into the purest shade of pink and his eyes widening into adorable little saucers. When they met yours, they were sparklier than any ring on any finger; you swear to god herself, you felt electricity crackle in your veins like wood to the fire.  Your eyes couldn’t pull away, you felt like a giddy little kid again. Whirling with excitement and curiosity as you looked at him all bundled up for the late fall weather. Your heart began to sing, sing triumphantly as if you broke some sort of curse- 

Curse?

Wait, hold up. 

Hold the fuck up. 

I think he’s my soulmate?! But I can’t possibly have one-

That’s when your entire body began to heat up in question. None of this made sense to you. 

How is this possible? How is this fucking possible?! The only thing your brain seems to produce in reaction is unending, spiraling questions. For each and every one of them, whether rhetorical or not, you didn’t have a sensical explanation or possible answer. This didn’t make any sense, it went against everything you ever knew to be true. 

You couldn’t have a soulmate, your maternal lineage fucked that up for you, it was what you were born into without a choice. A perpetual heartbreak, something that started out as merely coincidental to grow into a family burden that carried on precariously. How can it be that for generations, the youngest daughter in the family never got to meet their soulmate until now, until you? You were on the brink of a fucking existential crisis. 

Seungmin seemed shocked as well, though leagues and leagues below the ballgame you’re dealing with right now. He looked shocked; appearing delightfully surprised. Shocked as if he wasn’t expecting to be surprised with a present on a random and unimportant Wednesday, not shocked as if he just broke a generations-long family streak. 

Before you can continue these heavy ass thoughts, Jisung blasts out an interruption yet again.

“I CAN’T FUCKIN’ BELIEVE THIS!! I THOUGHT I WAS JUST HOOKING UP MY BOY AT ASS CRACK IN THE MORNING!! BUT NO!! I FUCKIN’ FOUND HIM HIS SOULMATE!! AND IT’S Y/N OUTTA ALL PEOPLE!! Y/N?!? SEUNGMIN?!? THE UNIVERSE REALLY PAIRED THESE PEOPLE TOGETHER?!? OUT OF-” 

“Jisung, shut the fuck up.” To your surprise, it was Seungmin who interrupts ‘Jisung’ and not you, as he gets the rest of the way into the messy car. His put-together ass looks completely out of place in this shitty car, it made you try to hold in a smile as closes the door with barely restrained enthusiasm. 

Before he turns back, you force yourself to face forward and try to calm the hell down and calmly reassess the situation. 

Alright... You met your not plausible-soulmate, out of all places in time and space, in the car of a kinda-stranger who offered you a ride home in the early-ass morning after getting laid at a sorority party. 

Okay. Great. This is great.

You cleared your throat and tried to remain cool. “O-okay, awesome. Where ar-are we heading to first?” Okay, that wasn’t entirely cool but maybe you can blame it on literally everything else wrong with you in this situation. 

“I don’t know, man. I deadass wanna just skip practice altogether and-” Jisung was interrupted by the sound of a camera’s shutter. You instinctively whip your head around towards the sound, only to be met with Seungmin camera-handed. He has the fucking nerve to take two more in the time it took for you to whip around. 

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!?” Your voice ripped out of you, croaking out like an enraged toad. He then takes the final picture as you’re screeching at him. This just kept getting richer and richer. First, Jisung’s bullshit, then life-altering realizations that you broke some sort of generations long streak of not having a soulmate, and now your seemingly miraculous soulmate taking unexpected, embarrassing photographs of you in the worst state you’ve ever been in?

“Taking your picture.” He grinned with a shrug, no guilt or shame to be seen nor heard. You could not hold in squawks of disbelief. His pride and excitement seemed to only grow at your bewilderment, he had the nerve to do a precious ‘hehehe’, the kind that little kids do after they steal a cookie from the jar. 

“Give me that!” You sneer as you go to savagely rip it right out of his perfect hands. However, the two of you seemed to be matched in more ways than one; neither of you would budge, equally as strong as the other. 

“No way! You’ll delete them!!” 

“Yeah, exactly!! ‘No way in hell will I let you keep pictures of me like this!” 

“‘No fuckin’ way will I let you delete them!”

You gritted your teeth. “Then let me take pictures of you!!!” And then you can sneakily delete-

“Yeah and then you’ll delete yours.” How the fuck did he know-

“Seungmin, just give her the goddamn camera so I can drive and drop your hormonal asses off before coach murders me.” 

There was a raging fire in Seungmin’s eyes as he slowly and painfully let go of his forsaken camera so you could tentatively take it. Upon retrieving the camera your fingers accidentally grab unto Seungmin’s. Resulting in a little static shock zap, startling you and heating up your cheeks immediately with a jerk and a hiss. Seungmin reacted similarly, blinking like pink dust blew into his eyes to land on his cheeks. Your hand yanks it back towards you before you even realize it. Jisung was far too excited to watch this drama unfold right before his wide eyes. 

 If this was a normal day for you you’d jump to delete those humiliating pictures of yourself immediately, looking nothing short of the cheshire cat. But this was evidently not a normal day in any sense of the word, so, what you did was unlike you. You huffed out a breath to encourage yourself before slowly raising the camera to your dominant eye and focused the lense as best you could. 

At least I can photograph how irritatingly handsome he looks at this hour. 

You took the first picture, zooming in on his now grouchy, but still stupidly handsome face. Then you zoom out as far as possible, hoping to take in this entire scene in front of you, his angry posture in an adorably preppy outfit, this messy, disgusting car and how out of place he looks in it.

“Only two more.” Seungmin huffs with an eyeroll and by some divine power (perhaps the same divine power that made this odd miracle happen in the first place), you clicked fast enough to get some of that petty behavior visually documented. You pressed down twice, sadly that was your limit you agreed upon.

You didn’t even look at the pictures you took nor the ones Seungmin took so that you wouldn’t be tempted to delete them. It felt like you were committing a saintly act; as if simply taking his picture like you said you would, without deleting anything made you pure and free of sin. Perhaps this twisted reality of somehow defeating the ancestral odds had you feeling undeservingly self-righteous.

“You better not delete yours either.” You sneered once more, before jabbing the camera back into his sweatered chest. This time you were determined not to turn around again, you couldn’t risk him taking any more pictures. You also aren’t entirely sure you could handle seeing his stupid perfect face once more. This was an outrage and this was your way of protest. Also, an unspoken miracle, but enough of that.

You swiveled your head away from Jisung and Seungmin, fully leaning into the cool window and began to count the street lights and stop signs. As the grueling seconds ticked by the more concentrated you tried to be. Soon enough the concentration turned sleepy and before you knew it, you were knocked out. All your adrenaline fueled energy depleted.

All through your protest-turned-snooze, Seungmin couldn’t seem to keep his eyes off of you. He couldn’t help but find it endearing how you could be an absolute riot only to pass out three minutes later. It hurt how cute he found you, no matter how scandalous you seem to be. You seemed so genuinely shocked, it made him want to cry. And he’s also fairly certain that this isn’t new to you, you not only partied all night and regularly. And judging from the markings on your skin, you might’ve done a little bit more than party last night. In fact, it might’ve even enticed him, might’ve gotten him a little hot under the collar. It wasn’t an exaggeration to say that he already whipped and he hasn’t even caught your name.

#stray kids fanfic #seungmin fanfic #skz fanfic #tw suggestive humor #Brewgie's writing!!! #fratboy!seungmin #fratboy!skz #kim seungmin fanfic #skz fic #skz au #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin angst #seungmin fluff #seungmin crack #stray kids crack #skz crack #skz fluff #skz angst #stray kids au #skz seungmin fanfic #frat au #college au

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: “Spark”

What’s the current mood? I would sell all future RWBY seasons for one episode of The Mandalorian.

Okay, I exaggerate. Overall this episode had some really great moments, just (per usual) tied up in a lot of awful implications. Which frankly is a step up from last week’s more overt nonsense, so I’ll take it. I’ve just got Space Dad Fever like the rest of the internet so whenever RWBY does something stupid my brain goes, “Why can’t you be more like Baby Yoda? With non-forced cuteness and consistent writing?” 

Okay, okay I’m focused on the correct fandom. I swear. 

This episode opens with Penny waking the group up extra early. Yang wants to know what time it is. “Time to be huntresses, of course!” Really, the contrast between, ‘I love my job’ and ‘But my job makes me get up at an ungodly hour’ is easily the most relatable thing RWBY has done this season. I was also just greatly amused by the animation choices with in-world implications. Like that Weiss sleeps with her giant braid in. Or that the group owns nothing except for the new clothes on their backs. I wondered after the Volume Six’s train scene if most of their luggage had been up front with JNR, or if they’d lost it all during the crash itself. We only see three bags as they make their way to the farm. 

Did Oscar re-pack everything before they had to hightail it out of that burning, grimm-infested place? I don’t remember and I’m way too lazy to go check. Yang then loses her motorcycle. Who knows, if they did have stuff, whether it got onto the stolen airship. Doubtful. I mean, Weiss showed up with a massive amount of luggage, but that’s for hiding grandmas. Basically, what I’m saying is that I think the group showed up in Atlas, exhausted, and had to tell Penny they don’t have PJs anymore. Cue standard issue t-shirts and strange thermal-ish pants.

We then begin a montage of their different work. It starts out not with the missions they signed up for last episode but anything and everything connected to Amity Arena. Keep clearing out the mines. Protect resource transports. Fill in for the missing soldiers in Mantle, etc. On the whole I legitimately loved these moments showing the various relationships and life as a huntress in Atlas, with the exception of two scenes. The first is during the section where we see Blake and Yang working with Marrow, who makes the mistake of saying a) that they should consider partnering with other people sometime and b) pointing out that he’s not sure their styles are complimentary. 

Look, I get it. A few hours after the episode dropped and tumblr is already exploding with GIF-sets of this scene, celebrating how Blake and Yang are so in love they can’t even stand Marrow suggesting that they might spend some time apart. From a shipping perspective it looks like gold and as someone who also ships them I’d normally be inclined to celebrate too. Except that this is a really unhealthy pattern of behavior. Marrow is right. The group should practice partnering with other people for the simple reason that this is a job and they may not always get to decide who they’re going to work with. It’s a job with endless risks and they may not always be able to control who they end up fighting beside, because when was the last time a plan actually worked right? The advice of ‘Hey. Don’t stagnant by only fighting with the same person 24/7’ is sound, especially in an episode already focused on training and progress. As is the innocent observation that their styles don’t seem to compliment each other. Marrow isn’t being cruel here. He’s not trying to insist he knows better and separate them based on that. He’s just making casual conversation---and gets this in response. 

This scene would read completely differently if Blake and Yang were playfully smug after that attack combo. Then it becomes a moment of bonding where they’re correcting Marrow through a bit of teasing. Instead they’re legitimately mad. Mad enough that Yang’s semblance briefly activates. I’ve mentioned before that Yang has a tendency to think the worst of people and act violently towards them on instinct (Ozpin, bot in the street) and that Blake has a tendency to go wherever she leads, even when that makes no sense for her own characterization (siding with Yang’s anger over her own experiences as an abuse survivor). This is another example of that. Marrow gives them good advice and makes a casual comment? Immediate fury from Yang. Yang’s pissed off? Well I’m gonna be pissed off too. I try not to bring shipping too much into these recaps, but I do think it’s worth mentioning here. Big Blake/Yang fans have a tendency to paint everything they do as the most Romantic Thing Ever ™; anti-Blake/Yang fans have a tendency to make blanket statements about how their relationship is inherently unhealthy. But as usual the truth lies somewhere in between. They’re fantastic together, I think Rooster Teeth is setting up a relationship, and there are also aspects that are unhealthy. Not because it’s queer (which is the basis for most antis’ anger), but because the writing has them enabling their flaws in the name of “support.” Sorry, but if you can’t deal with someone making a comment as innocent as Marrow’s without beating up a grimm in fury about it... then you either need to work out that relationship insecurity or work on general anger management. Because Marrow didn’t deserve those cold looks and these two weren’t justified in receiving his panicked backpedaling. It’s one of those little things that presumably means nothing on its own, but combined with Blake and Yang’s entire development speaks volumes. Let them talk through Adam. Let someone call Yang out on her judgments. It’s ‘fine’ in situations like this; not fine in situations like Volumes 5-6. 

The other part of the montage that didn’t sit well was another ‘joke.’ Just like I’m not inclined to view Yang and Blake’s anger as cutesy romance stuff here, I’m not comfortable brushing off Jaune’s interaction with the kids’ moms as a bit of humor. Yeah, maybe I’m “sensitive,” but was no one else creeped out by that? Jaune might technically be an adult, but he’s, what? Nineteen? So a junior in college. Maybe a sophomore. A young adult is what I’m saying. Is it possible all these women are also eighteen to early twenties (it’s so hard to tell ages with RWBY) and they just had their kids early? Sure. It is possible that these women all decided to become single moms, or divorced their partners, or are open to polyamory? Also sure. But let’s be real here, that’s not the joke. The joke is that a group of older, presumably married women are thirsting over the young, hot huntsmen. People would be more willing to admit that it’s not a great humor choice if RWBY had done that to one of the girls, but when a guy is the target it’s seen as a funny victory. Look at Jaune getting all that older, adulterous attention! As Nora herself says, “It’s totally the haircut.” (Even though that haircut remains atrocious, sorry.) The message is basically that if a guy is hot enough it doesn’t matter that he’s just trying to do his job, that he’s probably far younger than you, that you’re probably married... go gawk at him and give him gifts that clearly make him uncomfortable. 

Again, I realize I’m being “sensitive.” It’s just a web series, just a stupid scene meant to generate a laugh, etc. But I’ve reached a point in my life where I simply don’t find that sort of stuff humorous. As a woman who has had much older men hit on me while I’m trying to do my job, I look at the same thing happening to Jaune and ask, “Why was this supposed to be funny again?”

But anyway, enough about all that. Other moments in the montage include Ruby and Yang fighting grimm together (presumably in their downtime. Nerds), Winter pretending to be unimpressed with Weiss’ summoning, and Ironwood telling Oscar that maybe they can “jog [Ozpin] loose” with a bit of training. 

Yeah, remember how excited we all were that, based on the Volume’s opening, we would at least see Oscar training with Ironwood? Remember how we all thought that this would provide him with some much needed character development? That maybe this would be the moment when he struggled with and potentially decided to come clean about their lies? Or he tries to talk to Ozpin while sparing with an incredibly difficult opponent? You know, since Ironwood himself brought up jogging Ozpin loose, we might actually get some interaction with Ozpin? 

Boy were we optimistic! What we actually get is them charging each other for one hit before we cut back to others training. Namely Jaune. And this right here is the problem with this entire episode: for however cute and wonderful these moments might seem, they’re all flat out ignoring the primary conflicts of the show. The ones the writing keeps refusing to grapple with. Who knows how much time this montage is supposed to cover, but it’s substantial. We get multiple flashes of different days, see the group working on different missions, a couple different moments taking place in the early morning, so I’d wager at least another week has passed. Combine that with however long it took Pietro to make their weapons and you’ve got the group fully entrenched in their lies. No one is questioning Ruby. Ruby isn’t making headway towards trusting Ironwood. Everyone is just kicking their heels, happy with the status quo until something forces them to finally make a decision. They now, officially, have no right to judge Ozpin for the time he took to trust people. We see them doing the exact same thing here and they’re all happy about it. With the exception of those two quick flashbacks in “Ace Operatives,” we’ve seen no evidence that the rest of the group is struggling with their own hypocrisy. I---like many---had hoped that Oscar’s training session would finally acknowledge and expand on the rest of the team’s initial hesitation. But no. 

(In which Jaune’s expression is me.) 

Jumping ahead just a bit, we see this same issue when Ruby, Penny, Qrow, and Ironwood are out driving the supplies. Ruby and Penny finally have some time to themselves! Will they discuss her murder and resurrection? Nope. Ruby vaguely references it with, “You know...” but there’s no actual depth to their conversation (and if you can’t even say ‘When you died’ that implies that maybe there are some lingering feelings about all this). Instead Ruby is interested in whether Penny has made new friends and she says that Ironwood claims she has no time for friends. Slot that in next to the Ace Ops’ ridiculous, “We’re not friends.” 

Second, we have this moment between Qrow and Clover where they reiterate the huge gap between age and experience here. Clover is hoping that “another generation” will do right by Remnant after we’re gone. Namely Ruby and the others. Continuing with that age theme, he reassures Qrow that “those kids wouldn’t be where they are without you” which is all well and good, but is anyone going to tell THEM that? The adults don’t need to know that they’re doing good work---even if it is nice for Qrow to get some validation for once---rather, the whole “we don’t need adults” fiasco came about because the teens refused to acknowledge that work. We don’t need someone telling Qrow that he’s helped keep them safe. Overlooking some insecurities (which RWBY isn’t tackling anyway), he knows that. We as the audience don’t need to hear it because we saw it all happen on screen. Rather, Clover should be put into a position where he reminds Ruby of all that her uncle has done for her. Just like Qrow talking to Ruby about her motivations for moving forward against Salem doesn’t accomplish anything, Clover telling Qrow, as one adult to another, that they’re worth something doesn’t accomplish anything either. These parties know all this already. 

As a side note, this is why you should mix things up. Not just so that Blake and Yang can practice fighting beside other people, but so that people who don’t already agree can be challenged for once. Put Yang with Qrow and have him comment on her anger, continuing Tai’s work. Put Ruby with Clover and let him talk to her about what adults have done to get her here. All these moments of potential development are lost by maintaining the expectation that the original partners have to be the priority. Rooster Teeth had an easy way of throwing new people together by assigning them various missions and they didn’t take it. Yang is still with Blake. Ren is still with Nora. Of course Qrow is with the one other guy his age who we have to pair him with. Reinforcing these relationships is great, but so is pausing them too. 

And then there’s the drinking. 

Hold up one second. I need to grab a bit of writing from my Volume 6 finale recap. Think back to Qrow and Ruby’s interaction in the airship:

And then Qrow lowers his bottle which… what? Alcoholism doesn’t work like that. Much more importantly, no one has tackled his drinking this season. Or the reasons he was drinking in the first place. Literally, Qrow’s semblance, his place in the war, Ozpin’s secret, none of it has been addressed. He has no reason to suddenly put aside his flask like he’s actually learned something. Does RT think we’re going to just imagine scenes that never actually happened?

After I posted this a couple of people pointed out that it doesn’t necessarily mean anything. We’ve seen other times where Qrow goes to take a drink and then thinks better of it, so it’s a reach to assume he’s magically given up drinking now. Which, fair. Now though it looks like that’s precisely what we got. Sometime between being found passed out on the front steps of the Argus house and reaching Atlas, Qrow just decided he was done with drinking and thus far we’ve seen no evidence that he’s struggling with that. Meaning, it’s not a conflict he’s working through. That doesn’t seem to be his arc this volume.  

Yet he’s an alcoholic. Qrow’s drinking may have functioned as a joke for most of Volumes 1-3, but Volume 6 made it abundantly clear that this problem is incapacitating for him, especially after learning about Ozpin and Salem. So what happened? What changed? Even if I choose to overlook Qrow just deciding not to engage with his addiction anymore without help or backslides that we know of (doesn’t work like that...), I can’t ignore the fact that there was no catalyst for this. If the show wanted us to work under the assumption that Qrow stopped drinking because it endangered his family then they should have had him stop after the farm. You know, when he was almost killed by Apathy and had to be dragged out by his nieces. As it is, his drinking continues on throughout their whole time at Argus. He’s not picking up his scroll. He’s passed out on the steps. He’s brushing past Ruby to go get a drink instead of helping them figure out a way past Cordovin. Then a day later they make it to Atlas. So what precisely in that 24 hour period happened to change one of Qrow’s defining characteristics? Or, if this is supposed to be an arc wherein Qrow attempts to get sober and struggles with it, why haven’t we seen that? Again, they’ve been in Atlas for weeks now. This isn’t a one day sober Qrow with a naively optimistic outlook. He’s apparently been managing this for a while now with no downsides, no difficulties, no regrets.

Blake and Yang getting mad at Marrow instead of acknowledging their trauma. Oscar taking one hit at Ironwood instead of grappling with their secrets. Ruby talking about new friends instead of the relationship she already has with Penny. Clover telling Qrow adults are important instead of anyone telling the teens that. Qrow revealing that he’s just not drinking anymore. For reasons. It’s amazing just how much space this episode provides for the characters to start working through their conflicts and we bypass every opportunity. This is RWBY’s primary problem. Beyond the pro-protagonist perspective is the issue that, especially since Volume 5, the show has made a habit of introducing intriguing problems and then either twisting them so they have simplistic ‘solutions’ (we don’t need to tackle Ruby’s hypocrisy. She’s just “different” from Ozpin) or ignores them completely. We don’t need a new friendship vs. professional relationship conflict. We don’t need a new luck vs. bad luck semblance conflict. Not yet anyway. Not until we work through the conflicts that have already been introduced. Let Ruby talk to Penny about their own relationship. Let Clover help Qrow get sober. RWBY is like me when I’m writing fic. Why would I finish the thing I started when there’s this shiny new idea over here? Except I’m engaging in a low-key hobby whereas they’re writing for their livelihood. For the love of everything, please solve the problems we already have before chucking in new ones. You can give us all the same moments and relationships, just tailor them so they acknowledge the things the viewers have been waiting for you to tackle. I don’t need to know why Ruby and her team are Super Special because they’re BFFs when everyone else in Atlas apparently rejects friendship like the plague. I do need to know why a guy who was introduced downing a glass of whiskey apparently got over his alcoholism off screen.

Ugh. You know what we need? Penguins. Everyone look at the penguins for at least five seconds and allow them to cleanse your soul. 

Heading backwards, before the transport scene we get a training fight between JNR + Oscar and Neon’s group. I honestly wonder how a team like theirs feels about them getting their licenses. After all, they fought at the Battle of Beacon too. The only reason why RWBYJNR got into extra, life-threatening situations is because they stupidly went off on their own. I realize that duh, as a story we can’t just have our protagonists twiddling their thumbs, but from an in-world perspective Ruby snuck out of the house to hunt down a woman who would absolutely have killed her and 100% would have been kidnapped if Qrow hadn’t followed to keep her safe. Everything else stems out of that. So not exactly a classically heroic basis for special treatment. All of which Neon and Flynt presumably don’t even know about because it touches on all those secrets. I suppose they just heard something along the lines of, “I, Ironwood, am giving two Beacon teams early licenses because they survived a horrendous battle. You, my actual students, don’t get them even though you did the same work.” It could have been really interesting to have some tension over this and for the group to see another complication of their secret keeping. Here they have to keep Cinder, the Maidens, the Relic, etc. quiet... but because of that it leads to some pretty awful miscommunication between friends. There are repercussions to your secrets and not all of them are things you can plan for or fix. 

We don’t have anything like that though. Obviously. Instead we just get a generic fight with a side of weird Nora/Ren stuff. Meaning, Neon calls him Nora’s boyfriend and asks, “Where’s that energy when he’s around you?” Later Nora asks if they’ll still get sandwiches before work and Ren heaves out an annoyed sigh.

That moment struck me simply because it doesn’t come across like one of his normal, happily indulgent sighs. Ren seemed legitimately annoyed. Which is even stranger when we consider that Nora isn’t being over the top here. Sure, she pops up behind him in a sort of silly manner, but really all she’s doing is expressing that she’s hungry after an intense battle. Can we please make sure we grab something before heading off to work? That’s a more than reasonable request. 

Ren shutting her down over his hair. Seeming to ignore her when she fiddles with it while on patrol. Neon’s comment about his lack of energy around her. Nora getting mad enough about it to give her a black eye (RWBY so rarely shows injuries). Ren seemingly put out by her theatrics. They’re all little things that only seem to paint a picture when put together, but of what exactly? It’s like I said last time, if the show wants to introduce some sort of arc for Nora and Ren this volume it had better do it soon. Really soon. Details that may or may not be setup can only take you so far. 

During this battle Ironwood smiles down at all their progress, which could be endearing or creepy, depending on whether you think he’s hiding something (more on that in a bit). Neon actually acknowledges Oscar’s existence and draws a blush out of him, so thank you for that, Neon.

I thought for just a moment that Jaune might compliment Oscar too, but he just compliments the other team instead. At least they’re letting him train with him. After last week’s episode I’ll take this small step forward. 

Back past the talk between Qrow and Clover, we finally get to meet the infamous Robyn Hill. She blocks the road to Amity Arena with one of her Happy Huntresses, the same faunus who was spying on the project last episode. And who I forgot to mention in my recap. Whoops. I love Hill already though precisely because she’s able to do what our protagonists couldn’t last Volume: stand down when a plan fails. 

Hill takes her shot by putting up the roadblock and asking Clover to be straight with her, but when that doesn’t work and it looks like they’re about to come to blows, she admits defeat and lets them through. That’s how you handle a tenuous ally. Keep the peace and regroup with a different idea. Show them basic respect so that they might help you in the future. Clover’s “good luck” regarding the election speaks volumes about how everyone does want to help each other, they just need to figure out a way to do it. Hill could have attacked the group and stood her ground purely because she believes she’s right---just as Ruby did with Cordovin---but she demonstrates her maturity instead. She didn’t risk lives for the sake of getting what she wanted right here, right now. Despite the fact that what she wants likewise involves the safety of the people. Take note, Ruby. 

Speaking of, everyone catch that guilty look when Ruby learns that Ironwood’s project is taking resources directly from the city that most needs it? Yeah, what did you think was going to happen? At the very least the group saw that they were taking manpower away. Ironwood needs them to help protect Mantle because most of his men are off in the middle of nowhere, so the group is well aware that their actions are causing a negative impact. I highly doubt that the eight of them (including Qrow) can make up for however many people Ironwood is pulling out, to say nothing of the fact that many of them (like Ruby here) are also on Amity duty. They’re allowing Ironwood to put people, money, supplies, and time towards an endeavor that they know is bound to fail. Sure, it would be nice to have communication across Remnant without fear of losing that to the grimm again, but we all know Ironwood is primarily doing this because of the Salem situation. If he knew about her immortality he’d probably go, “Hmm. Well, the first part of the idea is still nice, but I probably shouldn’t pour this much into just a regular communications tower. Defeating Salem potentially justifies me hurting the people to get this done. But not anything else.” I’ll say it again: Ozpin’s secrets didn’t endanger anyone. Everyone from Pyrrha to Yang agreed to put their lives on the line for reasons entirely separate from Salem. Their lives were in danger from the start and, given their choices, always would be in danger. Ruby is the one whose secret is not just threatening all of Remnant in the future, but actively hurting people now too. She has the ability to stop this and she chooses not to.

Or rather, she chooses to keep putting off the decision. We’ll tell Ironwood when we’re ready. Yeah right. I still want someone to challenge Ruby on what this magical ‘He’s trustworthy!’ moment looks like. They’ve spent weeks with this man, fighting for him, training with him, accepting gifts in the form of weaponry, armor, facilities... so what exactly is it going to take, Ruby? I’m not saying Ironwood is trustworthy, I’m saying you can never know until the day they betray you. If that day comes. So when is Ruby going to acknowledge that? That she will never get that magical moment and that she’s just like Ozpin, putting off telling someone because the information weighs so heavily and there’s just too much to risk? 

Hill thematically acknowledges the last two Volumes with, “It doesn’t have to be difficult. Just tell me,” while we all know it’s not that simple. Even if people would like it to be. Clover refuses, Penny spots two invisible huntresses closing in (nice), and as said, Robyn backs down. 

We then end this episode with a long bonding session between Winter and Weiss. We see them fighting with their summonings and Winter comments about how, “You’ve grown up a bit, haven’t you?” We get it. You’re not subtle. Weiss has grown up. “Make no mistake. School is over.” They’re adults now! If only we saw that more than we heard it. Weiss at least is a character who has had legitimate, excellent development over the last couple of volumes. I’m admittedly a bit confused though regarding how that development aligns with the old Weiss. Meaning, we learned early on that she wanted to become a huntress to redeem the Schnee name. Now Winter is talking about how separating herself from the Schnees was the best thing to happen to her and Weiss seems to agree. So is that it now? Is Weiss just concerned with being her own person, or is she still invested in being a Schnee? Just a Schnee who embodies what her family used to stand for? It’s unclear based on the conversation. 

Then. Ugh. They discuss Ironwood’s choices and Weiss snidely comments that, “Everyone thinks what they’re doing is right, but really they’re just looking out for themselves... and their secrets.” Yeah, Weiss. INCLUDING YOU. Are they really so dense that they don’t see how lying about how Ozpin disappeared was looking out for themselves, namely by making sure that Ironwood continued to embrace them with open arms instead of getting pissed? After all, it’s less likely that the group would have gotten a nice place to live, awesome weaponry, high-tech places to train, and early licenses if they’d admitted to their sins last volume. They’re also protecting their own secrets by spending these weeks nice and quiet, just ignoring the Ironwood problem completely. Weiss is protecting their secrets right now by encouraging Winter to question Ironwood’s intentions---subtly casting him and Ozpin in a bad light---while she herself is keeping secrets from Winter. I mentioned before that Ironwood’s smile could potentially be a bad omen if we follow the writing rule of, “If a character insists someone isn’t keeping anything from them... they’re definitely keeping something from them.” Winter’s belief that Ironwood doesn’t keep secrets from her sets up the expectation for the audience that he probably is. But we don’t actually know that yet. Weiss thinks Ironwood might be keeping secrets. Weiss knows for sure she and the rest of her friends are keeping secrets. Only one party is definitively guilty here, so I’m not sure why she feels entitled to act like she still has the high ground. 

With Ironwood’s honor in question, Winter takes Weiss to see the Winter Maiden. We really don’t get to learn much about her except that she still looks young-ish (again: RWBY ages are hard) and seems to like to paint. 

No one else can visit her---and thus we don’t hear the conversation---because Ironwood wants Winter to inherit the power. Okay. So that leaves us with a couple options now:

Older woman can inherit and Ozpin made a very iffy call in trying to foster that responsibility off on a First Year. Which is probably down to more writing concerns than Ozpin’s characterization. Meaning, you want to keep the conflict among the main cast, not bring in a random new character to do the volume’s Important Thing. So you set up Pyrrha as the Fall Maiden, even though in-world that looks like a sketchy decision. To say nothing of the fact that Rooster Teeth isn’t very good at setting down hard rules. What functioned as a limitation during Volume 3 can easily be wiped away in Volume 7. In the same way that we went from Qrow’s semblance being totally passive and range-based to “sometimes I can’t control it.”

Ironwood and Winter are assuming that Winter can inherit, but she’s actually too old now. They’ll be blindsided by this when the power unexpectedly goes to someone else.

Ironwood has convinced Winter that she can inherit but actually has some sort of other plan up his sleeve.

Really, my biggest takeaway is Winter’s speech about how she is choosing this. Regardless of whether fate forced her into a situation with only bad options. Regardless of whether others also want her to make this decision. It’s still her choice. 95% of the fandom needs to listen to that speech and then chuck Pyrrha into Winter’s place. Having only tough choices isn’t the same thing as having no choice. The fact that your choice coincides with what others want doesn’t lessen it. They both chose to take on this power and it’s wrong for others to trivialize that by claiming that the men in their life---Ozpin and Ironwood---manipulated them. It’s implying that they can’t make their own decisions. That making this terribly difficult choice doesn’t come down to their own strength. They know it’s dangerous, regardless of whether they understand every detail of that danger, and actively choose to take on that responsibility anyway. Because they want to do some good in the world. The fandom has worked its butt off to take that away from Pyrrha and I really hope they don’t do the same to Winter. 

Although... the death flags. Yeesh but Winter looks like a particularly enticing target for the end of this Volume. What with talk of destiny and all... I really hope the series doesn’t go the route of giving every Team RWBY member one of the Maiden powers, what with Winter in a position to think about Weiss if she dies with the power, Raven in a position to think about Yang, and Cinder obsessed with Ruby literally all the time... yeah. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m personally more invested in ‘normal’ people managing the impossible through hard work, belief in themselves and each other, all that jazz. Not already overpowered people (at least in Ruby’s case) getting literal magic to solve their problems with. There’s so much more you can do with that.

Finally, Jacques comes online to spew a bunch of BS about how everything ever is Ironwood’s fault and he’s totally suffering just like everyone in Mantle. 

Right.

As Winter says though, the lies are just enough of a “spark” to ignite an already pissed off populace. We close on an angry mob beginning to tear the streets apart. Guess we’ll find out next week how the group tackles that nasty problem. 

Until then! 💜

Minor Things of Note

What was that sandwich gag? RWBY is really pushing the humor in iffy directions this volume.

I enjoyed Qrow and Clover playing cards though. What a mess with their semblances.

Also, I made us a poster: 

#rwby #rwby volume 7 #rwby volume 7 spoilers #mymetas #rwby recaps

[hopewritcs]

going with the flo(w). two.

pairing: jim hopper x reader

word count: 5k

summary: flo had worked for hawkins police department for years.  so much so that when her niece came back to town to visit the woman who practically raised her alongside her parents, she went first to the police station where her aunt introduces her to the chief of police.  except, they’ve most certainly already met--and it did not go well.  

notes: this is like kind of au of season three.  there’s not a ton of details in the fic from the whole season season, like no exact dialogue is used or anything so it’s going off of what i’m remembering at this point.  while it’s an au, there are spoilers for the season so if you haven’t seen the finale of s3 you should not read this fic!  canon events involved ! death mentioned ! don’t say i didn’t warn ya :) 

part one | how duckie got her nickname | part two

hop x reader list: @and-drew-101, @lemursfemur 

stranger things tag list: @thekidsofneibolt, @madhatterweasley, @shaykeijser, @rainy-bookish-days, @and-drew-101 (if you wanna be added to any tag list, let me know!!)

It wasn’t that you were hiding the relationship from everyone, but having your aunt working at the police station and Hopper having his daughter made things complicated.  Neither of you wanted to rush into things and have everyone know.  The problem with a small town was that one person knew, the whole town would know in a matter of hours ( maybe a day or two, if you were particularly lucky ).  So this resulted in sneaking around during the free time either of you had.  

Hopper, who usually ate lunch in his office at the station was suddenly going out for his lunch hour.  No one questioned it, since it was summer and they figured he was going to spend time with his daughter.  But the reality was that most days he was spending the hour with you.  

You usually cooked for him, or ordered in take out.  It was easier that way, because no one had to know there was anyone else in the house and that you two were together.  If you’d shown up at Enzo’s together like you’d talked about a couple of times everyone would be suspicious, rumors would be started and the next thing you know the whole town would know.  This was better.  

Wasn’t it?  

Plus, if you thought about it--the two of you had only really been together for less than a week at this point.  Maybe it wasn’t going anywhere.  

That was a lie.

You knew it was going somewhere.  Both of you knew.  You weren’t teenagers who were stupid and believed that everything was true love, and you weren’t rushing into things either.  You weren’t kidding yourselves when you thought hey, this could be the one at night.  You were both grown adults who knew your feelings and could handle themselves.  After all the time you and Jim had spent together since you moved back to Hawkins at the end of May, you knew that your feelings for each other were more than just like.  But neither of you were ready to admit that to each other.  

You were worried about starting a new job and what your aunt would say.  Plus, your romantic history wasn’t exactly the prettiest of pictures.  Not that you’d been in bad relationships, but the people who you’d been with hadn’t always been the best people.  Some of them were rude or self obsessed or just plain obnoxious and that had been what ended most of those relationships.  You knew Jim Hopper wasn’t any of those things ( even if he could be a smidge hot headed and quick to react ).  In fact, you’d say that he was the opposite--he was a good guy.  The best, in your eyes.  

Which is why it scared you to admit that out loud.  Which is why you’d waited to tell him how you felt--literally until your feelings had been pushed out of you by his daughter.  You didn’t want anything bad to happen, and you’d grown so accustomed to having both Jim and El in your life that God forbid your feelings might muck things up you’d waited and kept them back.

And Jim was worried for a lot of reasons.  He was worried because of everything that had happened--with the labs and the experiments and with El.  He knew you were a journalist and had seen the exposes, but none of that was the whole story.  And Hopper worried that being with you might bring you into danger if anything like that happened again.  Not that he was thinking that it would, because he wasn’t, but if it did he didn’t want you anywhere near it.  

He wasn’t a stranger to the fact that he’d liked you from the moment you’d gotten back to town.  Complicated one night stand or not, you were beautiful and headstrong and exactly the kind of person he could see himself being with for the long term.  But, he knew he’d screwed things up with you by leaving that night and wasn’t going to push anything on you.  So when you’d barged into his office and told him about what El had asked you all his thoughts settled on the words “it’s okay for me to like the guy that i like” and he could have sworn his heart had actually fluttered ( which by the way, he’d deny to this day if you asked him about it ).  

So sneaking around was your best option for now.  You both agreed it wasn’t so much hiding from everyone else but figuring it out yourselves.  There were a lot of variables to consider, and you wanted time to figure them all out before telling everyone.  Both of you weren’t afraid of where this was going, maybe a little apprehensive but not afraid.  Though, both of you were slightly afraid that the other wasn’t on the same page.  

And you agreed that you would have to tell El first.  

And your Aunt Flo too, but certainly El first.  

You’d gone over to spend the night at his place after he called you.  He was furious that El had left a note stating where she was going to be and not told him.  You’d had to calm him down about it, since you didn’t think Hopper showing up at Max’s house was going to be a good idea.  

“El and Max are responsible.”  You’d said, twirling the chord of your phone around your hand while you spoke.  “Jim, they’re teenage girls, what trouble could they get into?  I’m sure they’re just watching some music videos and having some fun.”  

Jim had to bite his tongue as he wanted to say they could get into a lot of trouble.  But he was hit with the harsh reminder that you had no idea about anything that happened in the town.  Nothing supernatural or other dimensional.  You had no idea.  And he couldn’t tell you.  Not now.  

Hopefully he wouldn’t have to tell you about everything--which he knew was wrong of him.  He should tell you ( at least, he should want to tell you ).  He knows he should, because sooner or later you’re going to find out that El has telekinetic powers and she can move things with her mind and maybe it’s better if you heard that from him before witnessing it yourself first.  

But, honestly?  He just can’t bring himself to tell you.  You’re a journalist.  You’re not stupid, you’d have more questions.  And he wouldn’t be able to answer all of them.  He’d signed those damned government non-disclosure forms after both incidents.  Legally he wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone about what happened.  

“I guess you’re right.”  he reluctantly grumbled into the receiver, rubbing his eyes with his other hand as he let out a loud sigh.  “Are you sure I can’t just drive over there and bring her home?”  

“Do you really think that’s a good idea?” you chuckled, rolling your eyes.  And he had the nerve to call you stubborn.  

“It would make me feel better.”

“I’ll tell you what.  How about I bring over some ice cream and I’ll keep you company tonight?”  

He could feel himself relaxing at your comment, the promise of you keeping him company.  Even if he’d seen you for lunch earlier in the day, he’d admit that he missed you and wouldn’t turn down seeing you again.  “Sounds nice.” 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”  

“And you won’t mention El running off to her friend’s and only leaving you a note when I come over, right?” 

At that he grumbled, muttering under his breath a couple of incoherent words.  

“Right Jim?”  

Rolling his eyes he replied, “Right.”  

“I’ll see you soon.”  You’d said sweetly, hanging up the phone and then collecting your things.  The mall was closed, so you couldn’t go to Scoops for the ice cream, but you’d had a container or two in your freezer from the last time you’d gone grocery shopping and you’d splurged to indulge yourself on a couple of treats.  

The night was calm once you got to the Hopper cabin, the two of you had curled up on the couch with some late night television program playing in the background as you ate the ice cream.  There was a blanket draped over both of you, and your legs were stretched out on top of Jim’s that rested on the coffee table.  He had an arm around the back of the couch, and you were nuzzled against his chest.  

Both of you were thinking, hoping, that this would be something you could do often.  Just sitting with each other, doing nothing in particular, cuddled up together.  That was what both of you wanted.  

You could tell he was still angry about everything that happened with El, but he was making good on his promise to you--he hadn’t mentioned it once.  You agreed that the simple note about a sleepover at Max’s wasn’t the best way to handle the situation, but you also knew how thirteen year olds thought.  You didn’t think it was the end of the world as it had sounded when Jim originally called you.  

But as you looked up at him then you quietly sighed, tapping his chest with the back of your spoon to get his focus on you.  “Would it make you feel better if I went in the morning to check on the girls?  I don’t even have to mention you, I could say I was planning on something new and came over here and saw her note to you.”  

He smiled down at you as you spoke.  He was worried that, originally when you tapped him, you were going to call him out on focusing on his daughter.  But you surprised him with that comment of checking on them.  He pressed a kiss to your forehead.  “You’re amazing.” 

Giggling softly, you tilted your head up to kiss him on the lips.  “And don’t you dare forget it, Chief.” 

The next forty eight hours were such a blur for everyone.  

To you, who had never been in a situation like this before, it felt like everything was either going in slow motion or going far too fast.  

It shocked you how well everyone was reacting.  Sure, you could feel the stress levels in the air around you--the tension building up as it at happened--but it was like they had done this before.  

You’d originally gone to check on El and Max in the morning, but found them not at the Hargrove residence, so you’d left and tried to call Jim to let him know only for your Aunt Flo to answer the line dedicated directly to Jim’s office at the precinct.  

“Why are you calling Hopper, Duckie?  Is everything alright?”  she’d asked after hearing your rushed greeting for Jim.  You’d naturally assumed he’d picked up.  And hearing Aunt Flo’s voice you were glad you didn’t call him some dumb pet name or something and blow your relationship out of the waters yet.  

“No.  Yes, I mean.  Everything’s fine Aunt Flo!”  You tapped your hand against your kitchen table as you spoke, biting your lip.  You hoped you didn’t sound as anxious as you felt--it was just the nerves of not finding El where she’d said she’d be and then having to deal with your aunt on the phone when you hadn’t expected her to pick up.  

“You sure, dear?”

“Positive!  I was just calling to see if I was still tutoring El today.”  You lied quickly, through your teeth, as the thought came to your mind.  It was an easy cover.  

“Well, I would think so.  The Chief’s not in, he’s out on business involving the mayor.”  

There was an overwhelming sense of worry bubbling up in your stomach at her words, but you pushed it back.  There was no cause for alarm.  Everything was fine.  

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later Aunt Flo.  I love you.”

“Love you too, Duckie.”  

Hours later, you were driving around town.  It felt like it was deserted, because the whole entire town was down at the fair for the forth of July celebration.  You had decided not to attend, because you didn’t want to go alone.  But you hadn’t wanted to sit around at home either, so you’d gone for a drive and wound up driving past the grocery store when you saw a group of kids getting out of a car.  You slowed down, curiosity getting the best of you, and watched as the glass on the door broke and they all filed in after one another.  

Quickly you pulled up your car to a spot and rushed in after them, hearing voices and people talking about injuries and cleaning wounds.  When you came to where the group sat, you were startled to see El bleeding and immediately rushed to her side and ignoring the looks everyone else was giving you.  

“What happened?”  you exclaimed, putting your hands on either side of her face as you examined her features with worried eyes, your gaze trailing down to your leg.  “What on Earth have you gotten yourselves into?  Not to mention breaking into the supermarket.  I mean, are you kidding me?”  

“Duckie?”  El asked, blinking as she turned her gaze to look at you fully.

“Yeah, sweetheart.  You’ve had me worried sick all day.”  You said, brushing her hair out of her face before turning back to look at the teens around you.  “You all better have a damned good explanation for this!”  

“Oh, we do.  You’re just not going to like it.”  Max was the one who spoke.  Everyone else was simply looking at you with a confused glare.  

“Someone explain what’s going on while everyone else goes to get something to fix El’s leg.”  You gritted your teeth as you spoke, turning your head to look around at everyone else.  No one budged from their positions, so you snapped. “Today!”  

The group dispersed, leaving you El and Mike sitting in the aisle in the grocery store.  Mike, you figured, didn’t want to leave El’s side and you couldn’t blame him.  If it had been Hop--well, shit, your heart was pounding just thinking about that.  

“It’s a long story, Duckie.”  Mike said, turning his eyes to focus on you.  Both of you held onto one of El’s hands as you continued to spare worried glances in her direction.  

“Then you better start talking, kid.  And fast.”  

Mike looked like he wanted to say something else to you and he opened his mouth to protest, but both of you were cut off when El winced in pain.  Once she got over the wave of pain that rushed through her, she looked between the two of you and spoke quietly, “Tell her, Mike.”  

Mike nodded his head and, albeit reluctantly, began explaining as best he could about the goings on of Hawkins, Indiana.  He was doing his best to summarize everything that had happened over the past two years because they were both short on time and he didn’t know how to explain everything at the moment.  He wasn’t even sure if you’d believe him when he finished explaining.  

So you got a condensed version of El is really Eleven and an experiment from a now defunct laboratory experimenting in telekinesis and inter dimensional beings that resulted in El having powers and her running away and lots of death and destruction from monsters.  It apparently also took Will away for a while, then El, and then everything seemed to be okay for a while until things started happening again.  And now, things were happening once more.

As much as you wanted to admit how crazy it all seemed, you were nodding your head along as he spoke and taking it all in.  It really sounded crazy.  Monsters?  Evil scientists?  That was straight out of a horror story.  

But the way he said it, and then El’s input every so often you believed them.  Maybe it was the adrenaline running through your body at the time, or the fact that you wanted to believe their story because ( at least as far as you knew ) the kids had never outright lied to you.  

And that all brought you to where you stood then.  In the middle of the Starcourt Mall with the kids surrounding you as the group met up with Steve and Dustin.  You were standing off to the side, by the car on display as you awkwardly looked around.  

You probably looked dazed because you heard Dustin ask, “What’s up with Duckie?”

“We just told her.”  Mike explained simply.  

“Oh.”  Dustin nodded his head, turning away from you and then refocusing his attention on the group at hand and explaining about the Russian bunker under the mall.  

By the time Hopper and Joyce arrived with someone you’d never met in tow you didn’t even blink.  They’d immediately rushed to the kids and everyone began talking all at once.  You were still there, but not quite there there as your mind was still attempting to process everything that had happened.  You heard your name being called ( Duckie not Y/N--it was never Y/N with the kids ) and turned toward the group that had formed in the middle of the food court.  You got up on your feet and walked toward the group, and everyone seemed neutral to you being there except Joyce and Jim who from the shocked look on their faces, hadn’t expected you to be there and probably hadn’t even seen you there when they originally rushed in.  

“Y/N?”  They both asked at the same time, a similar expression on both of their faces when they spoke.  You turned your head to look at both of them, waving a hand in their direction as a form of greeting.  

You sat down near El, who was in Hopper’s arms, because you figured that was where you should sit down.  It was El who had brought all of this together, and even if you were still processing, it was El whom you cared for and wanted to protect ( even if you had no fucking clue how to protect her ).  

You did your best to look elsewhere as you heard the two of them talking.  El wanted to stay and help and Hopper was pushing her to get as far away from the mall as possible.  Your heart was pounding in your chest because you didn’t want either of them to be in danger.  El reluctantly nodded her head, going off to Mike and Max, which left you alone next to Hopper.  

“How are you doing?” he turned towards you, but his gaze was still on El.  He wasn’t sure if he trusted his daughter to stay away from the fight like he wished she would.  He wouldn’t if the roles were reversed.  

“What kind of question is that?” you hissed at him, turning to fix a glare in his direction.  You managed to keep your voice low as to not draw attention to the conversation, but you weren’t going to hide the anger you felt.  “Were you ever going to tell me any of this?”  You vaguely gestured around the mall before violently allowing your arm to drop back down to your lap.  “I mean, you have to know I’d understand.  I mean, do I still think it’s fucking insane?  Yeah.  But I don’t not believe it.”  

Did you believe it?  At this point you were one hundred percent certain that you did believe the crazy story that the kids had told you.  You’d witnessed a bit of it with your own eyes when you’d seen El yank that thing out of her own leg with her powers.  That kind of convinced you that everything Mike and El had told you in the grocery store was fact and not fiction.  But you weren’t going to sit there and pretend like you were okay with everything--you still had a lot to process.  Your head was pounding with everything you learned and you were trying to make sense of it all still.  

And you were just so worried.  

All Hopper wanted to do was pull you closer and tell you everything was going to be alright.  But, everyone else was around, and he couldn’t.  So instead he grabbed your hand with both of his and sighed.  “I was going to tell you eventually.”  

“Eventually?” you scoffed, looking down at the interwoven hands that sat between the pair of you.  “What does that even mean?”  You hated how angry you felt, and you hated even more that you felt worry in the pit of your stomach.  You didn’t want to worry, you wanted to believe that everything would be fine.  This group had faced other monsters and come out fine, why wouldn’t they now?  “Jim I just...” 

What were you going to say?  So many things crossed your mind but nothing felt right.  

“It wasn’t right to spill all of this out on you when we haven’t even figured out what we are.”  Jim spoke softly, looking directly at you when he spoke.  

“First of all, if this is how you’re asking me what we are it’s not the time, Chief.”  you couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips, easing the tension as you shifted in your seat to look at him.  “Secondly, I don’t think there’s ever a right time to spill all of this.”  

“You’re right.”  He admitted, nodding his head.  “I just didn’t want you involved.  I wanted to, uh, protect you.”  He felt bashful saying that.  He should be focusing on invading the Russian bunker, not pouring his heart out to you.  

But, what better time to pour your heart out than the end of the world?

“That’s sweet of you, Jim.  But I’m a big girl and I’d be involved no matter what.  Because I love your daughter to bits and I,” your voice caught in your throat and you swallowed deeply, shaking your head before you finished, “and I’m really into you.” ( That wasn’t enough.  That wasn’t enough.  You wanted to say so much more.  But now wasn’t the time.  )  “I don’t want you to protect me from this thing.  I’d rather be by your side and not be kept in the dark.”  

“I’ll keep that in mind for the next time a crazed other dimensional monster comes out of the woodwork to try and kill us all.”  

You cleared your throat, “Next time?”

Jim nodded, “Here’s hoping this is the last time.”  Joyce and Murray called Hopper’s attention to them, and he stood up and dropped your hand back down to the side.  He took a step forward to work on everything with them, but then he turned back to look at you.  “I’m crazy about you too, Y/N.  Be safe, okay?”  

“You better come back in one piece, Jim.”  

Waiting was the worst feeling in the world.  You stood over to the side with everyone as the kids all got checked out in the ambulances.  You’d stayed by Max’s side after everything happened, holding onto her when El had gone to Mike.  And ever since then, the redheaded girl clung to you.  

El eventually came back to your side and you wrapped your arms around both of the girls, watching the building to see where the hell Joyce, Murray, and Jim were.  The feeling in the pit of your stomach was raging and you didn’t know what to think of that.  

You just wanted everyone back in one piece.  You’d already lost someone that night.  

“Where are they?”  you heard one of the group ask, but before anyone answered Will rushed forward from where he’d been standing toward Joyce who had come out of the building.  

As Will and Joyce embraced, Joyce’s eyes found you and El standing off to the side.  She didn’t know how to tell you, she couldn’t quite bring the words to her lips.  Hop was gone.  El’s dad was gone.  Your boyfriend was gone.  Yes, she knew about you and Hopper if only because after everything that she and Hopper had dealt with with Murray he’d yelled at Murray to shut up and then grumbled about having someone else--she’d suspected you two were together, but was waiting for either of you to actually tell her about it yourselves before saying anything.  

You felt the shift in the air when you made eye contact with Joyce.  You felt something plummet inside of you.  The ache that swept over you caused you to close your eyes and take in a deep breath.  

Now was not the time to break down.  You had two other people who were looking to you who needed you to stay strong.  

El understood what Joyce was doing, but she didn’t believe it at first.  Maybe she didn’t want to believe that Hopper ( one of the only adults who had ever cared for her ) was dead.  And she felt your posture stiffen and then slink down as you too realized what happened.  She looked around the lot, at the broken down mall building in the hopes of anything.  

Then she saw it, Hopper emerging from the back end of the now collapsed back entrance of the building.  El looked up to you, but your eyes were closed and your head was down.  She tapped your side and you looked at her, but her gaze was focused on something else.  You followed where her gaze was, and saw him.  He was covered in soot, looking worse for wear and a bit bloody, but he was alive and that was all you could ask for.  

Without thinking you tore yourself away from the girls at your side and ran toward him, ignoring everyone else in the parking lot as you called out his name and threw yourself into his arms as soon as you got close enough.  

“I thought you were...” you trailed off, shaking your head as you steadied yourself on him.  His arms went around your back to hold you in his arms, and your legs secured themselves around his waist.  You held his head in your hands as you shook your head. “I thought I lost you.”  And maybe you were crying, maybe your vision was blurred with tears, but you didn’t care because Jim was alive and you were in his arms.  

“I thought I was too.”  Jim said softly, looking up at you when he spoke.  Being in there when everything collapsed, he’d thought he was done for.  He’d really thought that was the end of everything--he’d given Joyce one last nod, silently telling her it was going to be alright, and he’d accepted his fate.  And then, what felt like an eternity later, he’d woken up coughing and sore under some rubble.  

He was alive.  

When he first made it outside, his eyes had searched for you and El.  He’d found you together, but hadn’t seen that El noticed him.  And he was weak, but when he saw you running for him he’d stopped and readied himself to catch you ( and, hopefully, never let you go again ).  

“You can’t scare me like that ever again.”  You brushed the dirt away from his face as best you could before you leaned down and kissed him.  You kissed him once.  Twice.  A third time.  Then you pulled back and looked at him.  “I love you.  And maybe that’s too soon and we haven’t really been dating all that long and we’re still figuring it out but I really love you and you scared the crap out of me Jim Hopper.  I’m never letting you out of my sights, I swear.  You really need to learn--”

Jim cut you off with a deeper kiss than the quick ones you’d given him before you started talking.  A chuckle broke through his lips and he pulled away from you.  “You really need to stop scolding me for a minute so I can respond.”  You opened your mouth to talk again but he shook his head and made a noise.  You rolled your eyes at him, but closed your mouth and looked at him, waiting for whatever it was he was going to say.  “I love you too.  The world could end at any second, who cares if it’s too early to say shit?”  

And you kissed him again.  

You didn’t even realize how much time had passed by until you heard a couple of hoots and hollering in the distance.  You dropped back down to your feet and took a hold of Jim to bring him over to the ambulance bay where everyone else was waiting.  

“I’m fine.” he grumbled when he got closer and realized you wanted him to see one of the medics.  “I don’t need to be looked at.”  

“Everyone thought you died, let the medics check you out.”  You said, sitting him down on one of the ambulances as a medic came over to check him out.  You stood hovering, to make sure everything was okay with Jim and to make sure he was actually there and you hadn’t had some grand hallucination.  

All seemed true, especially when El walked up and sat down in the ambulance next to Hopper when the medic had been checking his blood pressure.  She looked between the two of you and then said, “So you two are dating?”  

You laughed, “I guess that was one way for everyone to find out.”  

You wanted to be mad that that was how everyone found out, and lord you really thought about your Aunt Flo.  You could just hear her now in your head “And I’m the last one to know!  Come on Duckie, really?  The last?!”  She’d be so furious.  But you were just...relieved.  You were happy.  And Jim was smiling at you, and El was smiling and it all just felt right.  

“Just wait til the wedding!”  you heard someone call out, teasing you from where they all stood huddled up together.  

#jim hopper x reader #hopper x reader #jim hopper x you #stranger things x reader #stranger things fanfiction #going with the flo(w)

[clexa--warrior]

Season 5 of Fear the Walking Dead was a rough one for the characters on screen. They started off filled with hopes about providing hope and help to those in desperate need of both, but by the end of the season had been conquered and divided by Ginny’s group — with the last scene showing a shot Morgan lying down alone as hungry-looking zombies descended upon him.

It was a rough one for some fans as well, who complained about the plot and pacing of a season that appeared to have less impact, tension, and drive than those that preceded it. But is that all part of a grander plan? In the fourth and final part of our Walking Dead franchise overview discussion with chief content officer Scott M. Gimple, we spoke about the criticism of season 5, what’s in store for season 6 (including what sounds like a time jump at some point), and news of even more Walking Dead content coming our way. (Also read part 1 of our interview about the Rick Grimes movies here, part 2 about The Walking Dead: World Beyond right here, and part 3 about The Walking Dead having no timetable for ending.)

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: There was some pretty critical takes out there about season 5 of Fear the Walking Dead. When you look back on that season now, what’s your take on it? Is there anything you feel didn’t work as well as you had hoped, or was this just part of this plan and this is a stretch of this plan that you need to go through to get to somewhere else?                           

SCOTT M. GIMPLE: Right there. You just said it. We’ve been lucky enough on that show to be able to do these long-range plans. Season 5 was about setting up this journey that these characters are on through there to season 6, and I think people are going to see the relationship between those two seasons. I think even getting to the very end of season 5, the last few moments, really informing that whole season about reaching for benevolence and reaching for sweetness and art and just life and how in the circumstances they’re in, it didn’t work, and how we leave a person that put that forward isolated, alone, bleeding in a dead town.

I’m curious how people will watch that season in the future. Season 2 [of The Walking Dead], when we did it, we were assailed in a lot of ways. “Why are they on the farm? Why are doing this? Why are they doing that?” I think in subsequent years, people watching that season had different takes. This season 5 as a piece setting up season 6 into a truly serialized entertainment, I think people might see the relationship and the journey, why the journey went the way it did. I was so happy with the way that everybody did. I think it really did come together in the end in this really tragic way that we couldn’t have gotten to without the journey that we had been on.

It’s funny you mention season 2 of TWD, because I remember the complaints during that, but as soon as the barn doors opened, everyone was like, “Oh, okay. Yeah, right. Well, that was worth it.”                           

It was cumulative. I think everybody’s opinion is … as long as their opinion is come to honestly, nobody’s opinion is wrong. It’s how they feel about what they consume. But the one aspect that could potentially temper it is just taking the whole of it together. It is asking a lot of the audience to do that though. It’s an interesting thing that we face, and if you look at The Mandalorian, you look at a lot of shows on Hulu, and I think what Disney+ is now going to be doing, they are showing shows week to week. It is interesting, it’s a challenge that I think people will continue to have because the story might not go the way the audience wants it in the short term, but it’s all towards telling this grander story for them in the long term. I hope that anybody who had an issue with it can see this upcoming season and see how that led to this, because it was always the plan, to tell a story of some serious contrasts.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      How much do you pay attention or modify or pivot because of critical feedback?                           

It’s a tricky thing because, again, as long as somebody is coming at their opinion having watched the show, and as long as they have an open mind to start with, anybody’s opinion is valid. One of the reasons I don’t read them is because it’s endless. It’s not, “Okay, I’m going to read this person, this person, but I’m not going to read the other 15 articles, and these people have the mic.” It’s not quite fair, nor do I think it’s storytelling with integrity to just seek out what peoples criticisms are and address those criticisms without looking at the whole of the audience. And does online criticism represent the entirety of the audience? It is the same sort of demographics that are issuing those criticisms that are watching TV, just as far as their interests or their history with the show or any of those things.

And it works both ways. People are saying awesome things about the show. I also don’t think it’s like reading that and be like, “Ah yes, nailed it.” I don’t think that’s fair either. It’s a tricky thing because I don’t want the feeling that we’re ignoring it, but also I don’t think it’s wise if you print them all out and try to address everything. It’s just not telling a story with integrity. I mean would we have told [episodes 905 and 906 of The Walking Dead] the way that we did if we were just full of worries, if we were just trying to make sure that we weren’t taking a risk and ensuring that everybody in every sort of quarter would be happy with it, with the outcome, with Rick going? Which was happening either way, by the way.

So how do you decide in terms of when to creatively pivot or change course?                           

I truly believe that it is our job as storytellers to take risks, to do the unexpected and not just to shock people. I want to take stories in different directions than that have gone before. In taking those risks, the only thing you’re risking is the audience’s interests or their opinion of you. There’s a lot of people out there who don’t want to do that, who just want to go down the center path and ensure that there’s nothing for the audience to be upset with them about. If you’re truly serving the audience, if you truly care about the audience, if you’re trying to give them something different, you have to take risks.

I know it can be hard, and I know that people can be upset and you don’t want to upset people, you don’t want to make people sad in perpetuity, but you also don’t want to just give them a story where you didn’t try your best to do something special, unusual, something that they might remember the rest of their lives. If we’re not taking risks, we’re not serving the audience, we’re just serving ourselves. We’re just serving, making sure that no one’s upset with us. To really serve the audience, you got to put your neck out there. I’m very proud of these showrunners who have been taking incredible risks, and I’ve been standing right beside them every step of the way with it and sometimes pushing those risks forward very, very much myself.

It’s actually the thing I like most about the franchise. Even when you guys were pulling in the most insane numbers in the history of television on TWD, you were still doing crazy stuff you would never expect such a popular show to be doing. You mentioned that obviously this is all leading to season 6. What can you say at this point about what you all have planned creatively for season 6 on Fear?                          

I don’t know how much has been shared yet, but I’ll share a little of it unilaterally. Structurally, the show is going to change quite a bit. There’s going to be a great deal more focus within the stories, a little less vignette-y in telling 16 little movies. The guys are out of the gate wonderfully with the first two episodes, and it is a differentiating thing. It’s something that separates that show from the other two shows, telling these 16 little movies, being a bit more anthological. It still is a serialized story, but it’s told through these very focused perspectives.

I think that’s going to be something that the audience really digs. There’s these episodes like Al and Isabelle or June and Dorie that were super focused episodes, that were some of our favorite stories to tell, and we’re leaning into that a little more. That’s something that’s very exciting. Just what these characters are dealing with is very unusual to anything we’ve seen on the shows. Last season, there was a singularity of purpose, which is all these characters landed in this place of needing redemption. These characters are going to be in very different places now, and that’s going to add to the variety of storytelling, the conflict between the characters and the drama that springs forth from that.

I was talking to your showrunners Ian Goldberg and Andrew Chambliss about that — how interesting it was that the end of season 4 was all about everyone finally coming together, and now at the end of season 5 you split everyone apart.                           

That was after they couldn’t have been more together, and more on the same page — really just going down the same path completely. They’re on a lot of different paths now, and that creates problems and it creates these very intense reunions. It just sort of widens our frame quite a bit, all these different perspectives telling all these different stories.

When you talk about intense reunions, could one of those intense reunions involve Sherry?                           

It could. It’s a pretty determined character. You never know. You don’t want me to say for sure.

Because I asked if the Commonwealth was part of the CRM, what about this group of Ginny’s that took everyone. Are they related to the CRM?                           

They are not. That’s an example, like when we talk about the Commonwealth, when we talk about Ginny — that is a rich and interesting story, and it’s big. We can have World Beyond touch upon it and actually sort of be living in it, and yet it still has this very, very different life in the movies because obviously Rick was on one of those helicopters. However big that story is, we don’t want that to be the story of The Walking Dead. I think that stuff is going to be super cool and people are going to dig it, but The Walking Dead is The Walking Dead and Fear the Walking Dead is Fear the Walking Dead. It’s not like they might not touch upon it again, but it’s super important that they have their own stories. We are developing other mythologies like the CRM mythology within this universe, and this is sort of the first mythology, but there’s going to be more.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Do you envision a time jump on Fear to get it more in line with the other shows in terms of timeframe or not?                           

That is something we’re playing around with for the future, and time is actually going to be played around with on this season of Fear the Walking Dead. Yeah, who knows? I would love to get to be like Crisis on Infinite Earths. That would be super cool, but that’s way down the line.

When you say time is going to be played with on next season of Fear, what do you mean?                           

We’re going to see a lot of time pass. There is a lot of time that can pass, yeah.

I don’t know how you could have time for anything else while doing all these shows and the movies, but in terms of other forms, formats, video games, whatever — are there are other things percolating in the Walking Dead universe, even if it’s down the line more?                           

Oh, absolutely. We’re working on a big push of something I was working on originally and then I got much more focused on the shows in my first year on this job and developing World Beyond and getting the movie going. We really do want to come out with different TV formats, meaning shorter things, and then some event series, limited event series. I’m trying to get together a number of different things that we can show at different times during the year, and this focuses on characters we miss and we lost. It focuses on aspects of that new mythology. It focuses on stories that occur in our universe and have nothing to do with anything. Nothing to do with the shows or the movies, that are just these little zombie tales that happen in our world with our rules and our timeline but are just really great zombie stories, really great stories of the end of the world. I’ve been working on that with a variety of people, and that’s actually proving to be super fun and interesting.

What about filling in some backstories for characters and characters maybe that have already died along the way on Walking Dead or other shows?                           

That’s exactly what we’re doing. I mean, it isn’t the only thing we’re doing. It’s not like everything is like Gotham, but that’s one of the sort of three kind of categories that we’re tackling. It’s awesome. It’s awesome to be able to play with characters that we’ve lost, and it’s awesome to fill in some of the blanks.

#posted w/o comment #ftwd