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stylesispunk · 6 months

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"I couldn't want you anymore" part 5

Artist! Joel Miller x Florist! Reader

series masterlist | previous chapter | next

summary: when Sarah's mom comes back into Joel's life to fight for their past relationship, Joel needs to convince her he is in a happy relationship with the florist next to his gallery in order to make her go away. The problem is, that he and the florist can't stand each other's guts or that it's what he thinks.

warning: age gap (Joel is 36 and reader is 28). Remember that "Bee" is reader's nickname, fluff, some feelings are being confessed (again), angst (poor reader) mentions of an accident, and conflicted emotions.

a/n: This one is more than 6k. I don't love this one as the last one, but I wanted to deliver this one to you. Sorry for the drama during this chapter, I was PMSing haha. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, please share your thoughts with me, I love reading your comments and send ne any ask if you want ❤️ Sorry for any grammar mistake.💌 p.s the first line is a reference to all too well 😭

masterlist

After 3 long months in the grave. The flowers died of thirst. The place that once seemed full of life, now it was an empty street of broken pieces left behind by your ghost, and for Joel, passing by your shop every day seemed to be the hardest task of his life.

As time passed by, the cobblestones outside your shop remained empty, echoing the silence of what once was the first page of you and him. Joel couldn’t help but wonder how he had let something as precious as that slipped through his fingers, a regret that would haunt him for a long time to come.

Meanwhile, you found yourself far away from the streets of that life. Still in town, but trying to leave behind any trace of him and the painful memories of the night Joel broke your heart.

Your place now was next to Connell. After your castle crumbled, he was there, and before life separated the both of you, he fit in your life. He built the fire to kept you warm after the storm that left you stranded, and both of you had made the decision to give your love story a second chance. This time, taking tiny steps to build a steady castle. After all, he acted like a prince, taking you out on dates, and expressing his affection through gestures that left you feeling unworthy of his kindness.

You had become someone you weren’t. The one with the knife, a liar.

And these few weeks leading up to your new life in London were fulfilled by different emotions. You were busy taking care of some things, closing down your flower shop, and making arrangements for your upcoming journey. It was a bittersweet time filled with farewells to old friends, packing up your life, and starting to write the pages of your new book.

But you still thought of Joel, the memories of him were hard to erase. He remained a lingering presence in your thoughts. You could still see you both lost in those memories, but it was never real. You shared something that didn’t work beyond words and fake actions for the world to see. And you just hated your persistent temptation to ask what would be different if you had never let those three words escaped from your lips. You may still have moments together, he may still have been part of you, but at what cost?

During the course of these three months, Lily and Tommy got together. The news left you speechless at the beginning. You were happy for them even when it was unexpected. You never saw the signs or you were just mesmerized by the other Miller to even notice Tommy was making his way through your best friend’s heart. Now, they were building their own love story, creating a heartwarming contrast to your journey. Their relationship served as a reminder that love could be found in different places.

But for you, moving on wasn’t easy. The pain of a broken heart, mixed with the sweet memories you were leaving behind alongside the life you once knew, weighed heavily on your mind. And the biggest fear heightening over your shoulders was the intense fear of hurting Connell.

Connell, the one thing you did right in your life. The man you knew you wanted to marry once you met him, who had always treated you right. The thought of causing him to regret you because of pain was almost unbearable.

You knew he deserved nothing but happiness, and you wondered if your relationship with Joel had permanently damaged your capacity to truly commit to and reciprocate his love.

Of course, you loved him, but you just weren’t in love with him.

And you found yourself almost every night deeply sighing in the middle of the night, wondering if Joel was still up thinking about you the same way you still thought about him. And you bet he thought you still hated him, even when you had spent the last three months thinking about the minimal chance of him coming back to you, asking for your forgiveness, and stopping you from going to another country to start a new life.

But after three months, he had gone radio silent, and you were dreaming about him touching your face, asking if you wanted to try it for real this time.

And you despise yourself for it.

You had Connell giving you all his love, and you were becoming a knife ripping his heart.

Connell had been the one in charge of helping you to sell your shop, as you didn’t want to spend the time in that place and accidentally running into Joel.

Saying goodbye to the place you made so many memories was hitting hard on you, and you could see the love and concern in Connell’s eyes as he told he had managed the sale. Nevertheless, he spared you from details of the buyer’s identity and only walked straight to your room without uttering more words. He carried the weight of this decision on your behalf.

the next day, when he was supposed to go to the shop and give the new owner the keys of your now ex-flower shop. An emergency call prevented him from going, so he told you to go instead.

And you couldn’t lie, even when you had decided to distance yourself from your shop and everything associated with your past, the thought of saying a final goodbye in person didn’t seem like a bad idea. You wonder about the new owner's identity, the person who would now hold the keys to a place that had been a special of your life.

As you stood outside the shop, you took a deep breath to steady your trembling hands, so you stepped inside. The familiar scent of what was left of the flowers that once adorned the place, and the soft glow of sunlight streaming through the windows, made your heart break at the thought of leaving.

But in the end, your eyes fell upon the last person you expected to see, Joel. He seemed just as taken aback as you were.

“Bee,” he said, softly, making himself believe you were in front of him.

Your name seemed foreign slipping through his lips, the same ones brushing over your skin not long.

You even feared speaking and risking another goodbye.

For a moment, time stopped, as if the world outside these walls didn’t exist. Your heart pounded in your chest.

Your heart raced as your eyes locked onto his, and a mix of emotions surged within you.

"Joel," you finally managed to say, your voice carrying surprise. His presence stirred memories, both beautiful and painful, and it was hard for you to face them. "What are you doing here?"

Joel hesitated, his eyes searching yours for a sign of understanding. "I… Connell sold your shop to Tommy” he said.

Your heart constricted at the mention of Connell selling the shop to Tommy. You knew there was more behind that statement. You had gotten to know Joel to know he was lying through his teeth right now, but you had rather ignore that feeling settling in your heart.

He cleared his throat. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

"Tommy bought the shop?" you asked, trying to wrap your head around the situation.

Joel nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. "Yes, he did. He thought it would be nice since you love this place so much.”

That stirred a mix of emotions within you, but you pushed them aside for the moment. “And why are you here instead?

“He couldn’t make it and I thought Connell was coming” Joel answered, "But it’s nice to see you.”

The tension in the room was palpable, and the weight of unspoken words hung heavily in the air between you and Joel. The past few weeks, becoming in three months , had left their mark, and you weren't sure how to navigate life with those permanent wounds.

Joel's presence, felt so strange to you now. The familiarity of his face, his voice, and the way he looked at you brought back a flood of memories of the stolen kisses you found yourself missing so much.

“When are you leaving?” He asked, knowing that this would be the last time he was going to be able to have you in front of him.

“In a week” you answered shortly.

Joel's heart sank at the confirmation. He had everything in his hands to prevent the end of your story, but he didn’t want to stop you from finding peace and happiness in the arms of a man who truly deserved you in every way. You had chosen to start a new chapter in London with Connell, and he was the character from a chapter you were leaving behind.

He looked at you, searching for something in your eyes, a glimpse of the love you told him you felt for him. But it was hard to read your emotions. You felt a foreigner before his eyes.

"I see," he replied, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

The room felt heavy with unsaid words and unfinished written pages. You both had left things unsaid, Joel especially, and the future was uncertain. You couldn't help but feel the pull of what once was, even as you tried to move forward with your life.

Joel realized he had to make his peace with your decision. He had been given a chance to say those three words, three months ago, and he had to accept that he had ruined his opportunity with you. Your upcoming goodbye was a reminder that time was running out for him to say what needed to be said.

"Bee, I won't hold you back," he said, his voice gentle. "But before you go, there's something I need to tell you."

Your gaze met his, and you could see the sincerity in his eyes. There was a vulnerability in him that you had rarely seen. Joel's next words would be crucial and may be a turning point for both of you.

As Joel was on the edge of saying something, the door chimed softly as it opened.

It was Connell. His entrance created an unexpected interruption, and the atmosphere grew tense.

You shared a brief glance with Joel, and the weight of the unspoken words lingered heavily.

Joel addressed Connell first; his voice laced with an attempt to save you from any problem. "We were just saying goodbye.”

Connell acknowledged this with a nod but couldn't shake the feeling that he had walked into something else.

“I thought you were busy,” you said to Connell, walking to his side.

“I finished earlier” he gave you a small smiled as he touched one of your arms “You can wait for me outside” he told you, trying to give you reassurance.

You nodded, glancing one last time at Joel, the tension remained inside the room, and the words Joel had been on the verge of sharing with you were left hanging in the air.

And you finally exited the room, saying your last goodbye to Joel without uttering a word.

Once you left the shop, Connell spoke first, his voice carrying a serious tone "Joel, I know you want her to forgive you, but I want you to know that she's important to me and I love her."

Joel nodded, understanding the weight of Connell's words. "I know, Connell. And you've been good to her. I've seen that."

Connell hesitated, searching Joel's eyes for sincerity. "She deserves to be happy.”

Joel's gaze was unwavering as he replied, "I know she does. And if that means she's happier with you, then I won't stand in the way."

Connell kept silence for a moment. “You didn’t tell her, did you?”

Joel shook his head.

“Thank you. She would have killed me if she knew I sold the shop to you”, Connell said, with a tint of humor in his tone.

Joel managed a small smile at Connell's comment. It was an attempt to lighten the atmosphere even though the underlying tension remained. "I wouldn't have wanted to give her another reason to be mad at me."

Connell nodded in understanding. "I appreciate that, Joel. I just want her to have a fresh start, free from all this mess”

Joel's gaze turned thoughtful. "I want that too, Connell. She deserves to move on and be happy."

Connell looked at Joel for a moment. “You made her happy too. Don’t blame yourself too hard, Joel”

Joel met Connell's gaze, gratitude and sadness intertwined in his eyes. "Thank you, Connell. It means a lot to hear that from you."

The two men shared a silent moment, the weight of feeling they both share for you intertwined lives somehow.

Joel took a deep breath, finally breaking the silence. "I should get going. You both have a new life to start."

Connell extended his hand, and Joel shook it firmly. "Take care of her, Connell."

Connell nodded; his grip steady. "I will, Joel. And you take care of yourself too."

With that, Joel turned and walked away, leaving behind the memories he shared with you inside this place, the first stolen glances, the fighting, the laughter, and the cups of coffee you left for him every morning. All that being left behind, buried.

As Joel stepped out of the shop, he turned and locked eyes with you for what felt like the last time. The weight on both of your hearts hung in the air. In that fleeting moment, your gazes held longing and hurt. You were the tear hanging inside his heart.

And Joel's eyes searched yours for a final glimpse of love. He had wanted to say so much, but the timing had never been right, and now it was too late, but he hoped that you’d find your way back in the end.

You met his gaze with sadness and understanding. There was something about him that made your heart clench. He had been the man who touched your soul before your skin, and how would it be possible for you to forget about that?

You offered a small nod, and he returned it in kind, sharing that secret language you both learned, as a silent goodbye.

Was that “I love you” the worst thing he had ever heard?

And then, as quickly as it had begun, Joel turned and walked away, disappearing into the distance. The chapter you had shared was closing, and as he faded from view, you knew it was time to look ahead, to embrace the new beginning that awaited next to Connell miles away.

Connell watched that unspoken interaction and sensed the weight on your shoulders. He walked over to you, and gently pressed a kiss on your forehead, as a tender gesture, a silent promise of a future without wounds to take care of. With his kiss, he silently looked for reassurance that you weren’t having second thoughts.

.....

The warmth of the evening had set the perfect backdrop for a dinner in the backyard. You and Connell had prepared a delightful spread of chicken, grilled vegetables, and a bottle of wine that Connell had selected for sharing with your friends. Lily and Tommy sat around the wooden patio table, the soft glow of string lights overhead casting a warm glow.

As Tommy and Connell got engrossed in a conversation about their favorite sports teams, you and Lily found yourselves drawn to the quieter solace of the backyard. There, under the starry sky, you could speak without being overheard.

You looked at them, attentive, with a serious expression, your eyes reflected the soft, flickering light.

Lily glanced at you; concern etched across her face. "A penny for your thoughts, Bee bee?”

You took a deep breath, “I think I’m a little bit nervous about next week.”

Lily's eyes filled with understanding as she listened intently. “Nervous about London? Or leaving Joel behind?”

Your gaze shifted, and you looked at Lily with surprise. It was as if she had read your thoughts, as always. You nodded slowly. "Both, actually.”

Lily leaned in closer, her voice a soft, comforting murmur. "Bee, it's okay to have mixed feelings. Leaving behind a place and someone who meant so much to you is never easy. But it's also the beginning of this new adventure with Connell."

You sighed, feeling grateful for Lily's understanding. She made you feel at ease with your racing thoughts. “I just wish it were simpler, you know? I don't want to hurt anyone. I couldn’t forgive myself if I hurt Connell”

At that moment, your and Connell's gazes met from the distance. He gave you a big smile which you mirrored, but it didn’t reach your eyes.

You felt Lily’s hand on yours as a gesture of reassurance. “You have a big heart, Bee. Connell loves you for who you are. Trust in that."

Lily's words were a soothing balm to your worried mind. Her support and the warm of her friendship alongside the starry evening created a special moment in her last days in this place. You knew that leaving the past behind was never a straightforward journey, but it was reassuring to have a friend who understood your complexities.

As Connell's gaze met yours and you exchanged smiles, once again, you realized that your anxieties didn't mean you loved him any less. The weight of the past could coexist with the past, and maybe you could learn how to fall in love with him again.

Joel managed a fragile smile, and he held your hand as if it were the lifeline he needed at that moment.

Sarah and Tommy lingered in the doorway, watching the two of you with tiny smiles on their faces.

Joel spoke softly, "I'm sorry for worrying you, Bee."

You shook your head, your voice filled with genuine concern. "Don’t say anything” you said as you laid your head on his chest, as if hearing the beating of his heart would reassure you, he was going to be okay.

As you leaned your head against Joel's chest, seeking comfort in the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, you didn't notice Connell watching the two of you from the hospital lobby. His expression was unreadable. There was concern, understanding, and a tinge of jealousy.

Connell had supported you through everything since you both were eighteen years old, and he loved you deeply. But seeing you in this moment with Joel stirred emotions within him that he couldn't fully process, leaving a siren in his mind.

Sarah and Tommy decided to leave the room, giving the two of you some privacy. Joel's hand gently rested on your back, his fingers tracing comforting patterns down your spine as if his fingers were brushes tracing lines on your back.

Joel spoke again "Bee, I know I've made a mess of things, but I want you to know that you mean a lot to me. More than I can put into words."

You didn't respond with words. Instead, you tightened your grip on him, holding him close, and Connell remained in the background, his thoughts and feelings his own, as you and Joel found peace in each other's presence.

Once you were back home, you were awfully quiet for Connell’s like. He had seen the way your face sparkled when you were with Joel in his room, how you held him tight, and how you seemed terrified at the thought of losing him.

It was the moment in which Connell realized he wasn’t the one anymore, but he didn’t want to admit it. He wanted to hold onto the memories.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked you, trying to make you talk.

Connell's voice pulled you out of the storm inside your mind since your arrival from the hospital. You turned to face him, offering a faint smile that didn't quite reach your eyes.

"I'm okay, Connell," you replied, though your tone carried a hint of sadness. "Just a lot to process."

He nodded; concern showed across his features. "I understand. It's a lot to take in. But you know I'm here for you, right?"

You appreciated Connell's support more than you could express. He had been a rock in your life. It was just the reappearance of Joel after these three months and the accident had stirred up a multitude of feelings you thought didn’t exist.

"I do,” you said, reaching out to take his hand. "You've been amazing, and I love you for that."

Connell's smile brightened at your words, and he squeezed your hand gently. "I love you too” he declared as he kissed your temple, as a way to find reassurance.

You hugged Connell tightly as if to reassure yourself that you were still grounded in the present, even as the past loomed large in your heart and mind.

But for Connell, the pages were clearly written and he knew your heart didn’t belong to him anymore.

One week later, and the night before your departure for London, everything seemed bittersweet around you. You were finished packing what was the last of your belongings, and the weight of leaving your life behind was the heavier suitcase you were carrying.

During the last week, you didn’t see Joel. All the updates about his recovery were through Lily, and the only thing you knew was that he had been dispatched from the hospital today.

You really wanted things between Connell and you to work out, so you made your promise to not see Joel again in order to do that. That night in the hospital was the goodbye you needed, and that was it. He was okay, so you were okay. You had bled, but your wounds would heal sooner than later.

Nevertheless, Connell had been watching your movements for the last few days, and now, as you were carefully folding your clothes and going through the last-minute preparations. He found the strength to speak up.

"There's something I've been thinking about," Connell began, his eyes reflecting the depths of his feelings.

You paused in your packing, looking into Connell's eyes, eager to hear what he had to say. "What is it?”

Connell took a deep breath, struggling to find the right words. " I don't want to be the reason for your regrets."

Your heart pounded in your chest as Connell spoke, tears welled up in your eyes.

“You love him,” he said in a breathy voice.

He wasn’t thinking about himself anymore, or where you would go after this, he was thinking about you.

“Connell, we’re leaving tomorrow. I’m with you and I love you” you whispered, trying to convince him, and mostly yourself at the same time.

Connell nodded, his own eyes brimming with tears. "You love me, I know, but you’re not in love with me.”

You wiped away a tear, your voice trembling. "Connell"

“You’re in love with Joel and he is in love with you”, he declared.

As much as he was devasted by the thought of letting you go, he wanted you to be happy. He would give you everything, even when he would be a little in between for a while.

You shook your head. “He isn’t.”

“Then why did he buy your shop?”

“What?” Your eyes widened. You felt shocked and confused. “Why?”

Connell reached out and took your hand, his touch warm and reassuring. "I think he did it because he thought you would come back and because he is in love with you.”

Connell gazed at you with a mixture of sadness and love. "And I love you enough to let you go” " He said “You need more time to figure things out, and I don’t want you to go with me if you can’t do that.”

His words pierced your heart.

“I don’t want you to hate me,” you said, whispering.

Connell chuckled softly, Connell squeezed your hand gently, and then he cupped your face with his hand to look at you in the eyes. “Nothing you say or you do would make me hate you” You leaned in his touch and hugged him tightly, crying on his shoulder.

“I love you more than I could express.” You mumbled.

Connell held you tightly, his embrace filled with love, even though he knew it was time to let you go. His heart was heavy.

And the next morning, with one last, lingering kiss, you and Connell let each other go. You watched him boarding the plane, and as it took off, your eyes watered, you let your tears fall down your cheeks.

That plane carried Connell away from your life again, and you held onto the final image of Connell, offering a gentle wave and a bittersweet smile, muttering an “I love you” at you before disappearing from your sight.

Once you got in your car, you felt the weight of your emotions pressing down on you like a heavy blanket suffocating you. All the love, guilt, sadness, and anger crunched your heart, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

In the spare of seconds, Joel came to your mind and you felt anger surging through your veins like fire. You couldn’t help but blame him for ruining the opportunity you had to move on. You questioned yourself why you still wanted to go back to him and why he was coming back to you in your dreams as if he wanted to taunt you, and your frustration grew.

With a burning feeling settled in your chest, you made your way to Joel's house. You couldn't understand why he had bought your shop, why he had disrupted your life once again, so once you arrived, you stormed out of the car, determined to confront him.

You stood at his doorstep, your knuckles brushing against the wood, your heart pounding in your chest. When the door opened, there he stood, still bandaged from the accident. He looked surprised at seeing you here.

"Joel," you began, your voice laced with anger. "Why?”

His brows furrowed, and he stammered "Bee, I thought you'd be on a plane to London with Connell by now."

You met his surprised gaze with anger. "I was supposed to be, but Connell stopped me from it.”

Joel seemed surprised, but something in his gaze showed relief at knowing you would still be here. He stepped aside, allowing you to enter his house, and you both moved to the living room. The familiar surroundings seemed to echo with memories of your last time together. The three words you confessed to him, the way he broke your heart, and then you walked out of his life.

“Why did you lie to me?” you demanded “Why did you tell Tommy bought my shop, when it was really you?”

You were met with silence.

“Why did you buy it, Joel?” you shouted.

“Because I knew you would come back to me,” he said, as a matter of fact. Simply as if he owned you.

Your anger flared at his audacity. "You can't just manipulate my life like that, Joel! You can't decide things for me without even asking” Your voice suddenly deepened. “And for what do you even want me?” you asked “For playing with my fee-“

Joel's lips crashed onto yours, and for a moment, you were stunned into silence. The kiss was intense and filled with all the longing and regret Joel felt.

As he pulled away, his eyes bore into yours with an intensity that took your breath away. "I bought the shop because I couldn't bear to see you go without a chance for us to make things right."

You were caught between anger and desire, your heart racing from the sudden kiss. "Joel, you can't just kiss me and expect everything to be fixed."

He reached out to cup your face, even with one of his hands broken, his thumb gently tracing your cheek. "I'm not expecting that, Bee. I just needed you to know that I love you”

Torn between your anger and the lingering love you felt, you took a step back, away from his touch.

“What?”

“I love you,” he said, not taking his eyes off you. “I’m in love with you.”

Your eyes and mouth were wide open, but you still managed to shoot him a glare. You could pretend you didn’t hear him and leave. You didn’t trust yourself right now, but his big brown eyes prevented her from walking away.

He told you he was in love with you.

Your voice wavered as you replied, "Joel, you can't just say that now. Not after everything that happened."

He took a step closer, his eyes searching yours. "I know I should have said it earlier, and I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused. But it's the truth, Bee. I love you, and I'm willing to do whatever it takes me to make things right."

You struggled to maintain your composure, you were shocked,

“Are you going to say something?” he whispered.

"Joel, it's not that simple” you spoke

He nodded, his expression earnest. "I understand that. I know we have a lot to work through, and I'm willing to take the time and the effort.”

Your heart ached at his words, and the internal battle you had been fighting raged on. "Joel, I need time to think and process all of this. I can't make any promises right now."

Joel reached out to gently touch your arm, a silent plea in his eyes. "I'll give you the time you need, Bee. Just promise me you won't leave” he said, cupping your face.

You found yourself relaxing with his presence and touch, by nodding your head as a silence promise.

"Okay,” you whispered.

Your head was a thunderstorm of infinite questions running through your head. You had so many, but you didn’t know where to start.

He smiled at you, and that made you lose your mind and you don’t know what to do, what to express, or how to act.

“I’m glad you’re okay” you whispered.

Joel's smile held a genuine warmth, and his thumb traced soothing patterns on your cheek. "I'm glad I'm okay too, and I'm grateful you're still here."

The two of you stood there in a moment of fragility as your eyes locked onto Joel’s.

You had to go before you lost your mind, and you needed space to clear your head. You took a step back, your gaze not quite meeting his.

"I need to go now, Joel. I need time to think."

Joel's expression showed understanding, and he nodded. "I get it, Bee. Take all the time you need."

You turned and headed for the door; your steps were slow as if a string was pulling into him. The weight of what started as a simple game between you two, the confusion of the present and the uncertainty of the future were heavy on your shoulders. You needed time to heal your scars, to figure out what your heart truly wanted.

Before leaving, you glanced back at Joel, and for a brief moment, your eyes met again, unspoken words flowing in the air. Then, you stepped out, leaving behind the man who had both broken and mended your heart, and who now waited for your decision.

It was his time to wait now.

a/n: Okay, so now he bought the shop because he knew she was going to come back to him somehow and he wanted to have it for her because the flower shop was important to her and after all, he has the keys to her heart (yes, as cheesy as it sounds). Now, he has to fix everything and suffer a little because the reader (bee) has to be loved. btw I'm already thinking about the next fic

tags: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42 @paleidiot @harriedandharassed @runningmom94 @pedr0swh0r3 @ssacharcoalgrey

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squash1 · 11 months

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30 year old ronan getting home from the dentist saying that he never really saw the need for dentists but ever since he found out if you ask for two flavors of toothpaste and a prize at the end, they’ll give it to you no questions asked.

36 year old adam taking a nap after finishing a romance novel, which is a new type of book he’s trying out even though he’s never understood reading fiction. he’s trying to enjoy his time. he’s trying to have, what his therapist refers to as, “me time.”

32 year old gansey buying the house down the road from 300 fox way. setting down boxes full of books, sighing, and thinking this is where i want to be. right here. right now. the house is not a surprise for blue because he’s learned his lesson on that front.

35 year old blue sargent starting a tree committee in henrietta because even though whiny amy is really annoying, being president of a committee feels pretty good, especially when she gets to help plant trees around the town. and also telling whiny amy to shut up is nice too.

38 year old henry learning how to crochet. he repeatedly says he’s not really “into textiles” but he just really wants to make a bouquet of flowers to go with the tiny bee he already finished.

noah, coming to visit, thinking how right they all are. how happy he is they have grown up, how grateful he is for their continued lives.

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heerocks · 2 years

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CURIOUS CAT — lee heeseung.

SYNOPSIS ꕥ Curious Cat is an app that peaked three years ago where people use it to flirt with their crush anonymously and then suddenly forgot about it.

or wherein, Y/N was devastated when her crush, Lee Heeseung indirectly rejecting her in highschool. Three years later, both of them have this unknown beef in between of them that even their friends don't know the real reason behind. One day, Y/N suddenly remembered and opened her C.C account, and saw that someone by the name 'Ethan' confessed to her three years ago.

PAIRINGS ꕥ non-idol!lee heeseung x fem!reader ft. enhypen, ningning from aespa, wonyoung from ive, and jeongin from skz

GENRE ꕥ smau + written, on crack, slow burn, mutual pinning or past pinning, university au, kinda enemies to lovers troupe, heeseung is a simp, reader is kinda dumb, friends bullying friends

STATUS ꕥ ongoing! update will be every other day ^^ (august 17 - )

WARNINGS ꕥ profanity, cursing, kys/kms jokes. lmk if something came up later

NOTES ꕥ this is a pure work of fiction and all the characters are in no way connected with the actual persons in real life. all infos are subject to change, and please ignore timestamps. I don't have humor so please bear with me. pls do lmk if you want to be added on the future taglist. my request is open, or just reply below, I would be more than happy to add you ^^ banner made by yours truly!

PROFILES:

heeseung hate squad | the brodies + y/n hater | extras: priv PRIV

CHAPTERS:

CHAP 1 - UGH SCHOOL

CHAP 2 - tl's dead

CHAP 3 - suga '93 hoodie (written)

CHAP 4 - you're delusional (written)

CHAP 5 - she's a runner, she's a trackstar 🤩

CHAP 6 - y/n's fish

CHAP 7 - somewhat something

CHAP 8 - suddenly can't see (written)

CHAP 9 - miranda's head

CHAP 10 - guess who (written)

CHAP 11 - yang jeongin

CHAP 12 - siri sent that message

CHAP 13 - give me that mic sister 😌

CHAP 14 - the glimpse

CHAP 15 - curious cat

CHAP 16 - freedom wall

CHAP 17 - finding Ethan

CHAP 18 — heeseung not bitchless ⁉️⁉️

CHAP 19 — megamind memes

CHAP 20 — getting braver

CHAP 21 — ignore me

CHAP 22 — dumb and dumber

CHAP 23 — hold that thought

CHAP 24 — what could possibly go wrong? (written)

CHAP 25 — haha'd his way out

CHAP 26 — enemies to lovers

CHAP 27 — something productive (written)

CHAP 28 — heeseung glitched

CHAP 29 — unprovoked (written)

CHAP 30 — stars, ramen and you (written)

CHAP 31 — go get your girl

CHAP 32 — let us breathe?!?!!

=> . . . bonus chapter — surprise??

CHAP 33 — mental voodoo doll

CHAP 34 — y/n's fight or flight

CHAP 35 — the table has turned

CHAP 36 — finding heeyn

CHAP 37 — hoes mad

CHAP 38 — not dead

CHAP 39 — got me thinking...

CHAP 40 — a what plan?

CHAP 41 — heeseung's wooing teachnique

CHAP 42 — it's about time (written)

CHAP 43 — he'll finally do it!

CHAP 44 — eyes on the prize, heeseung

CHAP 45 — loud and proud

CHAP 46 — the butterflies on y/n's stomach (written)

CHAP 47 — the luck on heeseung's side (written)

CHAP 48 — niki's adopted parents

more to come....

CHAP 49 — the betrayal

CHAP 50 — the connection (written)

𖥻𖥻 taglist!

@ckline35 @meinapricity @gugudone @xoxodinaryheroes @lov3niki @ahnneyong @raikea10 @bigtoewinwin @tlnyjoong @sungookie @uwudaizy @jeongintwt @paragonofroyalty @captivq @lavisha7 @prdxinvade @lockburn-castle @chaemmie @xtra-cheese @mimikittysblog @zhaixiaowen @pb-n-juju @luvkait @myjaeyunn @redm4ri @oceanyocean @diestheticu @liliansun @yenqa @xiaoderrrr @flower-lise @mymeloem19 @jungwon-kitten @hoonieluv @vantxx95 @asherbl @alexayoonlee @spilled-coffee-cup @mdavt @kyexvly @would-bee @jhopesucker @tiramis-hoon @noascats @beomibeom @iea-tsand @ronnierites @flwrshee

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apples-r-rubbish · 8 months

Text

Small Town (11th Doctor x Reader) - Part 2

Summary: It snows in October, an Amberpoint tradition. On this peculiar snow day you find things aren't just cold outside. Count: 2.3k Warnings: unreality, self gaslighting, mentions of death, long gaps between updates A/N: I didn't mean for this to take literally 8 months, but I have a degree now! it is what it is, sorry, I can't promise I will ever update consistently because that's not my style. However, Thank you for all the support of my fics even though I went M.I.A -L <3

MASTERLIST | PART ONE | PART TWO (you are here !)

You were wandering around the TARDIS arm outstretched out gently touching the walls with your fingertips. The ship hummed gently appreciating your company. It had been an overwhelming 36 hours.

The asylum was cold, wet and frightening. You prided yourself on generally being quite brave, but that place, that cold, dark, wet, place, sucked the energy right out of your soul. A dalek with a heart was not an easy sight, and as the doctor explained it you felt instantly floored. The horrors you’d seen remained in your mind. At some point you slipped your way down the wall and allowed a few silent tears to slip from your eyes, and a figure came and sat next you and you slowly began to-

No. This wasn’t right. They don’t exist. You made them up. This isn’t real. That didn’t happen. The dream stopped almost as quickly as it had come to you. It was replaced by an intense feeling of loss you couldn’t quite place.

You stirred from your sleep in waves. Slowly, slowly, you rose from your bed. The world was cold. You read the clock. It was 9 am, 27th October. You searched for warmth through the covers and it was ultimately unsuccessful. John must’ve gotten up early. You curled yourself up in bed for a moment longer, bracing yourself for the chill of air that would eventually come.

You wandered down the stairs now fully dressed. You frowned at your pyjamas, you couldn’t remember getting them. They were a gift, probably. John stood by the landline mumbling something into the phone. There didn’t seem to be a response coming through, but the conversation continued. He seemed to unstiffen when he saw you and mumbled ‘Work’ while scribbling a barely legible chicken scratch-esque note on paper before waving it at you.

‘Breakfast - in the Kitchen.’ It was something of an Amberpoint oddity, snow days in October. For as long as you’d lived there had always been at least one. It was something of a ritual at this point, John’s work would call, tell him they’d cancel his appointments and you guys would have a day inside with not much else to do. So you took solace and started camping. Kettle on, brain off.

You looked out the window halfheartedly, snow braced the horizon, usually it was worse - maybe it was the fact that last time - no year - had left you frozen in for two days with nothing but John’s rambling and intermittent radio signals. At first it was awful snow in October was never right in your mind especially in wherever you’re from again. But now however many years you had lived here, it had become somewhat embraced by you and your husband.

You heard the phone gently placed back on the receiver as John entered the room, a content sigh fell from him.

“So Amberpoint tradition, checklist. No work, tick. Haven’t bothered to check the radio yet, so 50/50 and judging by the snow. No people for give or take but roughly 24 hours,” he wrapped his arms around you and placed a quiet but appreciative kiss on your forehead. And almost as soon as he had said it a knock disrupted the quiet day you had built for yourself. Laughter.

Bee and Gus stood in the entryway shivering in a way akin to leaves, or something else that shivers. You welcomed them in, seemingly producing mugs of tea from nowhere. They graciously accepted taking up space on your sofa, heat clearly being appreciated.

“Sorry we had nowhere else to turn, we aren’t used to the weather you see.” Bee rambled between sips “I thought, ah yes, number 11 will know what to do and Gus said we shouldn’t bother you, but I knew you’d be able to help.” Smile sitting there. Saccharine. You agreed seemingly involuntarily, like you felt the force through your body move your head before you’d even registered the question. Unequivocally, you would’ve said yes always. Helping people is what you do. Maybe it showed on your face. Something wasn’t right.

“Y/N are you quite alright?” Gus asked seemingly as if he’d caught you out on a joke you had no idea of.

The words came to you suddenly, like divine intervention or a script cue you’d suddenly remembered. “Ah yes of course. Doors are always open for you, well at least I’d hope not or all the snow would get in,” your own laughter punctuated the sentence. That wasn’t your laughter. You’d heard it thousands of times. Even John frowned at the noise. No, this was it, what are you talking about? The look melted away, but the snow wouldn’t.

At some point through the snow day you’d resorted to games as the snow piled higher and higher. Charades was the game you’d decided would work. Simple, easy, no hosting, no fuss. Bee stood up, hands wildly gesturing, John and Gus throwing their answers in by the handful, which only caused Bee to keep forming the shapes with her hands but somehow more manically, a joking frustration forming on her face. A film title slipped from your mouth, the words tumbled out your felt your mouth form the sound almost involuntarily. It was garbled to your eardrums, it was like the sound was there and then it seemingly wasn’t. Static on the radio. Scratch on a record. A glitch on the screen.The world seemed to freeze in a way. You’d dragged the Doctor, John, to see that film, virtually begging him. He begrudgingly came along sort of, he sat in the cinema mumbling about how this character was an alien- no that one definitely was, the space travel was inaccurate or that historical thing actually didn’t happen like that and I would know because- the memory was cut short, the cold glare of Gus replacing it staring deep within your soul- something was wrong. He mumbled something, you couldn’t quite make out from the weird static that filled your ears.

The room swung back into you, head lightly slamming forward against the force of something, eyes shooting open. Laughter ensued, everything is fine, isn’t it? Another answer fell from your mouth - The correct one - with a smile, the same one Bee always seemed to give, it was met with a roar of a cheer from Bee excited she finally got to sit down, rather than manically gesturing in hopes that someone would guess something it was clear no-one was going to understand anyway.

It was well into the evening by now, a small hearty dinner simmering away on the stove, you and Bee sat on the kitchen floor, backs against the kitchen cabinets, discussing old memories.

“I literally bumped into John, that's how I met him,” You giggled between sips of wine, like a child on a sugar rush “He was running to somewhere off doing something stupid, and he ran into me, he literally knocked me off my feet and he pulled me up, said the thing he was doing was so important, so I’d have to come with him so he could ask me out later. I didn’t believe him, obviously, who would- But no he was right, had to save someone’s life, he is a Doctor after all, it’s what he does. But God, he dragged me around for a whole day, my feet were aching by the end of it, just so much running,”

Bee responded with a small, twinkling smile. It was different from the staged one, it felt like a brave act, giggling like a schoolgirl sitting on the kitchen floor in a snowstorm. But for once it felt real, as though there was no question of whether you should be here or not, it just was and that was right,

“Ah well, mine’s nowhere near that fun. We met in the office, worked together for years, he wouldn’t look at me twice, and then one day he just did and something just clicked in him. And he marched up to me and the rest is history,” Fiddling with her ring as she spoke, “It seems like centuries sometimes, and like days others,” At some point she’d stopped laughing and just drifted. Drifted through the sentence. Like silence on the other end of a telephone. It was then you took her in, nothing poised or staged or performed, just her. She was young, younger than you by the looks of things, but the stories she recounted should have made her older, or at least more well travelled. You gently nudged her, light returned almost as quickly as it had gone.

Soup was distributed amongst the four of you, sitting at the table not too unlike the other day, Was it the other day? The calendar said 1963. No, they're still new to the neighbourhood. They didn’t know about the snow. And that was a common frustration among the neighbours. I’m sure it doesn’t matter. “This is good, darling thank you for making it,” John commented, he must have noticed your inattentiveness, a small look of concern, thoroughly masked under layers and layers of social etiquette. You nodded, mumbled a brief thank you, and squeezed his hand something reserved for gut feelings, it came as almost normally as breathing, this secondary language you’d formed between the two of you.

The meal had finished, plates, everything washed and away. You’d finally dared to crack open the door a fraction as they’d calmed down thoroughly enough to go home. Snow was piled waist height, unmoving. Door slammed shut, try again tomorrow. Gus seemed to freeze at this,then the anger came “This wasn’t what-” He froze again, hyper aware of his actions, he corrected himself, his stance, his demeanour, breakneck speed back to the usual, “This wasn’t what, we expected,” a meak laugh thrown on at the end for good measure. John frowned at this, he’d caught it and his eyes flicked with something unlike him. Something cold, calculating. He saw you and nodded, an indication: Keep calm, keep it together, it said wordlessly.

Sitting at the balcony over your back garden, you both had a moment alone to talk.

“He’s weird,” You stated, sipping your drink slowly, almost to cover what you’d said.

John stared at you for a moment, almost incredulously, as if he couldn’t actually believe what you’d said, a pit of guilt forming in your stomach.

“He just makes me uneasy, like a tiger, or a bear, or- or a killer whale, or something else weird,” You said wildly gesturing, arms getting flakes of snow on them, as they stretched over the drop. He laughed at you, breaking character just for a moment, “I mean I get it, but we are getting to know them, darling. You’re married to an alien, I highly doubt we’re normal to them,” He chuckled, wrapping his arms protectively around you and placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. Married to what?

“Huh, what did you just say? I must’ve drifted off in that last sentence,” You said, rubbing your eyes like a small child, desperate to stay up past their bedtime, as the sleep hit you like a sudden wave. He took your face in his hands, “I said to a Doctor,” He followed his statement with a loving frown. “How did I get so lucky with you? Feels like someone planned all this in the best way,” He squeezed your body in a tight hug “Get some sleep darling.”

The dreams didn’t come that night, at least not one felt like a memory.

You awoke somewhere unfamiliar, a cyan and purple sky flashed above you in a storm, dirt and gravel were uneven underneath your back, and didn’t help you at all when you tried to stand. Wobbling to your feet, you observed around you, John- No, the doctor ran towards you and grabbed your hand, and pulled you with force. Ash was falling as you ran, making it harder to run, burning heat filling your lungs.

“We have to leave now, it isn’t safe.” He pleaded, “Come on! Run!” The sympathies faded quickly and were replaced with rushed panic. You nodded a silent acceptance, knowing you had to leave. This memory is not yours, you know it. You can feel it in your brain it’s wrong, like the pieces of two puzzles have been mixed up together all wrong. The Doctor pulls you along, you reach something resembling a vessel, at least what of it your brain allows you to see, the rest promptly replaced by static, the same static blocking out words in your brain. Where are you? You ask your thoughts, the static response is the same constant buzzing you feel in the back of your mind, wordless, uncaring, uneventful. You stand in what looks like a control room, fighting back tears, and wretches, as the doctor spins around you readying for flight “Y/N, come on! We have to leave. They’re gone- The sentence starts again, scene resetting down to the sparks flying. She's gone, we have to go, now,” He virtually screamed at you, something he never did and always refused to do. You nodded, gulping between tears, before hurrying forwards to press buttons, and help. The last thing you felt was a bumpy take off, desperately clinging to both the railings and your memories. Where am I? . You awoke, gasping for air, a tear fresh on your cheek.

Bee and Gus left promptly the next day, thousands of thank yous between farewells. The snow had melted mostly, some occasional flakes, falling like the ash in your dream. The static hummed low and slow in your mind. It stopped for a second, a split second, when Bee hugged you. You felt your body run cold, your question had received an answer. You shut the door after they left and made excuses to John as you retreated into your bedroom and sat quietly. The word rolling around your mind like a marble.

Dead.

#doctor who self insert #doctor who x reader #doctor who fic #doctor who x you #eleven x reader #eleventh doctor/reader #eleventh doctor x reader #eleventh doctor #hope it was worth the wait

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thatkdpoh · 5 months

Text

Introduction i think?

Ok so I’ve been like really excited to do this I don’t know why but this is I think controversy? I don’t know how controversy works but this is how it happened.

I am 12 yrs old, My height is 5,1 and holy shit wanna kms but I am 130 pounds. This will flucate and idk how to spell it but it’s like a line with a dot in the front or end and it goes left to right so I flucate to 130 to 140 I hate that.

How I know about ED/Backstory/rant (cringy ik sorry :c :

I was always a fat kid and I’ve hated it, I understand that I didn’t care about my weight but when I was like what 8 to 9 whenever my dad would say cow to me in taqvaylit I don’t know how to write it but I know something’s like amcic or tizizwith or afkroune which is cat, bee and turtle in that order. I would feel self conscious and sometimes cry to because I’m very sensitive which is like cringy i know lol. My heaviest had to been this year like 140 pounds but I think it was water weight and shit. Anyways my mom tried to get me to fast and she would force me or smth maybe not force but like tried to get me to lose weight. She’d say it directly and it would always make me feel bad but like I understand being 130 for like 8 yrs or 9 to 12 is very heavy and embarrassing considering I always saw kids would be more skinner than me I’d feel very bad. Until recently like last year in 6th grade I was reading fanfics of a human au of TMNT i didnt know what ED’s were so when it showed up the word bulimia I thought it meant bullshit but it didn’t sound right so I searched it up and saw the symptoms that’s when I also learned about anorexia and pica etc. When I saw the symptoms I started copying them now this is the part that I think is controversy I copied the symptoms which I know was bad but I was fucking lazy and still am couldn’t do a workout for the life of me or restrict food, I was used to eating a lot and when I saw the symptoms I copied them and they worked!! I loved it and then the minute I knew how to starve myself, I actually don’t know how to continue with that but I didn’t know how much of a deeper hole I got into but I really loved it and still do EMBARRASING. I did do exercise I did like 100 sit ups a day which did nothing but it did make my body ache and stopped, 5th grade was the worst out of all my grades for now but 6th might be second but it wasn’t that bad just a lot of crying and seeing how fat I am made me cry that’s it. Now if I don’t starve at all or try too I would feel like shit. In 6th grade I also saw that purging was a symptom so I made myself throw up but only if I ate way to fucking much and I’m so bloated it hurts and I can’t take the pressure so I throw up just to take off a little pressure and go back but then I’d feel sick which sucked :C. When Ramandan came though I was A BEAST not an actual beast but like it was my oppertuinity to fast without anyone questioning because I live in a studio apartment with 5 other people that are my family >_<. Obviously with my blabber mouth which I hate told everything to my mom but I think she thinks that I’m ok now :D. Any way I’d only eat 5 tablespoons of soup every night and I was very tired and I lost 6 pounds!! Which isn’t a lot but I made it to 124 pounds!! But then I gained it all back in summer break, cried, tried to fast for 3 days but fainted on the 36 hour?? I’m not sure because when I stopped the fast because my mom told me to eat and spoiler alert I cried cause I have little bitchitas if u know Kubz scouts u know. I paused at the 38 hour so like 36 is my highest to fast which is embarrassing again. ANYWAY NOW IM IN 7TH GRADE STUGGLIJG EITH THIS THINGY :]] I sound like those I guess I deserve it heh thing but like no I’m not seriously I just wanted to be silly. Anyway I’m gonna try that ABC diet which I think seems kind of mid to hard but I think fitnesspal would help me with it <33

BYE EVERYONE HAVE A GREAT DAY OR NIGHT HAVE A GREAT THANKSGIVING SND MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!! :33

#i need to lose so much weight #thinner is better #@na tips #@tw edd #ed bullshit #th1nsp1ration #thigh g4p #tw ed but not sheeran #@na vent #4ana #proana.#pro a4a #ana dairy #ana rant #tw ana diary #tw ana trigger

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libidomechanica · 27 days

Text

With light by

A kimo sequence

That grew beside a human door! With light by light: lonely thing, that soon he rose and warmth of loue.

But Flight. Of air, not pure as it, yet pure, doth well delight. My slumber was gone for you, my dear.

Because the blue sky bends over and trust that I shall those tears; take me to the centre. But there.

Pushing toward daybreak. A dainty dish to set before me, when the trance was o’er, the mastiff bitch?

I do not the disaligned. Though yet, heaven seems half-way to lift some weight of low replies.

That hole where leather men are vain? And slowly rolled her with me, we’re wed to one eternity.

I have been faithful to you, Cynara! Harry, Tommy, Wilfred, Edward, Bert—and light and song.

Stay with your old baggage. Plunge them in up to thee, and thee to mee: no, no, no, my Deare, let bee.

Says, I wanted to get married. With blushing shame, by rage suppress’d, let tears, and weep each other?

To sit a star upon the floor below. And, Do I dare? No, no, my Deare, let bee.

Cannot flie away. Nor equal, nor unequal: each fulfils defect in each, and lang’rous waist!

—Thy words, relieve my verse in time, your fortune— range the wilds of Time, perhaps not a woman, off!

Make in misery to live. And lie, ever singing, each to each. Makes you tyrants in the end.

Free from fear, they cross’d the diver’s brain, for a lady’s chamber floor. Yet so did I let my friend.

Now do I know this: I fell in love wilt hear; if from thee. Oh Angel of hopeless, lasting flames!

After than Phoebus, if he seav’n times bright! For forbidden fires. To spit out all the dance was mine.

Bright eyes, that all her hard and cold white as stone. Involved in stillness, plighted vows fleeting as air!

Assist the field is universe into a lute. Is it indeed so? Be thine! The air is still!

I told my love had seen mine execution. Curse on all best exceed proportions of the year.

And gave a twist to me. Which stands check’d; Religion of my mind, thy words, thou art as tyrannies.

I’ll wrap it round. Till the same chance!—Harry, Tommy, Wilfred, Edward, Bert— and light a cigarette.

And all thou know’st to my dear doting heart. Do love you here is none like a dog in a kennel.

But tis twilight dawned; and out of sight. Owe this dearest, that long-wish’d-for end, full to thee, and doubt.

The lovely lady’s shroud. I heard the mermaid now, for I will say: How his hair is growin’ yet.

Give me the shade of the sky.—An’ Charlie, he’s my darling, the young Chevalier. And is he gone?

Ah! The Castle wa’, she saw three bonie boys playing with a dying fall beneath the huge oak tree?

Our bed is lovely maid and sees a damsel bright a dame! Hand, turning her grave. By more than dead!

And like a noon-dew, wanderings I have sinn’d! I want to glide a sunbeam by the Maiden’s side!

Where I fly, pursue, rise in the brain is not so. Spake words Sir Leoline. I dreamed I was a child!

By thee to mount, and complaint of present the bonie laddie in. Bare, lest aught unholy loiter here?

And love to so base a vice, for no man knows. Much, Cynara! No matter by the might be well!

He danced with rough. Amid that scenes appear where’er I turn me not to belie his soul with clay.

Run afresh, as if she ’d said, Gee woe! I lift my heavy eyelids my anguish hangs like shame.

To the fault; I view my crime, but kind? To labour was thine! And do accept my madness, and weak.

He drank: her fair large bright and slender oats foraged in the lady’s chamber door; and the sun.

A cool suspense from pain; thy life destroy. The wanton thru the flower amang them very ill.

Of lonely way, close by the castle bell. As if she be small, jewel-like flower unfamiliar.

The way to the blood runs out across the sounds and strange man should presume? That is so vex’d with thee.

To know her but I? Or foxlike in difference. And thus she stooped, methought I heard a hollow sound.

A blue moon for an instant leper. Lord of her beauty lies, when faithful to the land of spike?

And none of us thought thus watred was my strange death of Jesus set me free. In this fashion.

But could have this; she shall: then my hopes and men, who looked askance and end with his society?

And those tender-ship, cried Sally Brown! Sleeps, and love all night upon mine ears, both I and the brow!

�� 44

Within the bathroom floor mocks your haire with me! So, the year, that yours and mine had bound us lie?

Van Diemen’s land if certain when two dewdrops on the best, even to life in the airport. Ah!

Seized, inside my honest faith in this man no more, but other me? A shining steps of thy child!

Lingered in the moon is behind, and saw thee woman in contractions are five minutes apart.

Comes first—light in what they might half undo it. Of loue new-coin’d to her from the pitiless wave?

And his Anguish grew—how bear it? But, as luckless, I have sworn to bury all things undo me.

That looks up at the lady by her word were it even for me. Loathe the side-lie of a truth.

For once, a tremor breakfast the sky ascends, wi’ sangs o’ joy. And damning their necks, where away?

And flush themselves forsake and for very feare would return to life, to life in thee has killed it.

And the rain on my soul. And I was a rose that green mama who first forced me to Mortal part.

Scott, Rogers, Campbell, Moore, and Crabbe will trim. To sail with old Benbow; and here, ev’n then, shall be poor.

The Sexes rose to work upon is much too much, some say, she seems that sweet said, that thou to dread?

And hark, again! From happy pieties, thy lute, thy pipe, thy incense sweet face of you and me.

Why should poor beauty from my love, my life. But, as luckless, I have known the rain lasts anywhere.

In the bud will wear white despair? Wilt thou go with me, we’re wed to one eternity in days?

Not Ida; ’ clasp it once all-fragrant-curtain’d love begins again. Then downward like those who love.

What peace. And her voice is strength beguiled, this golden foot of May is on the bloated hiss of death.

For I have slept on the brands were stopt with griefe. Still as death, can break her word were it bitterness.

The earth forever! It must be because it is a precious seal of my life, myself—and you.

Is changed in a convent’s solitary Child. When I break through all the grist of its insides grow.

Now folds the maid and thine for me. Than Heaven, my Lover, were my Chamber Heaven’s sun staineth.

Err I dare to look at the basin and wriggling on thy fame! My own heart’s heart, where, while I weep!

Till love you, dear, I’ll love you all; let Virtue be your soules; come wait on hir whom winged Psyche true!

I waste my heart and mine should hindred be. Gloom, and nothing can be old, for as you with my death.

For once and show me what I meant, at all. Proud of many, lives upon his gaine is our lost will.

I call, I call: who do ye call? And the rent, and long to stay with your old baggage. I would get.

—Not the power to burn and be all that bloody torments you doe give, creatures, couched her homage.

Geraldine shakes thee hence. Yet, if Hope has flown away in a night, or in nothing but a feint.

That heart to this fool lord, dare I bid her abide by her side; nor strange. That is misunderstood.

You soarer, you of the sea. ’ Echoing straits between the hills? Again she sees my lady’s maid.

Nor shall die tonight, I wrote this morning. Black Melancholy reigns; what means the warm leaden sheet.

And the gravelly sand take a body to it, even blue-eyed fly to the field. Sir Leoline?

From op’ning on the crowing cock, how drowsily it crew. Shall ever was in our own child-bed.

Within and whom I am confined. Water so cleanly I myself upon the floor below.

Cries to catch her but I? Of all that we see or seem is but as a tomb which happened balloon.

Out for love, to give the wreath’d trellis of a working brain, love alone. With a moonlight and song.

I lift my heaven knows, in joys and woe so many times. To the banks, close of each too, too late.

My soul would only be the best, even to life in losing mine? Naked, a double behind.

Like cliffs which have no fear! Beneath the weight of soil, nothing new is in us, and were at peace.

I knew a beautiful olives. We men and drivers in a bar-room around its wings and neck.

—Come live with me—or fall from its boundless mere, with true sight! This day my journey should I presume?

Into many a summer’s front doth sing and saying plainly of not turning from yonder bay?

Oft did I rove by bonnie Doon, how can you bloom so fresh and faithful to its crisis? Have guessed?

I fell, and fro, while I weep! And turning away, wants to be made, cobbling at the lasting flames!

Such gentle still dictates, and those faire skin, beamy eyes, for the quarters, and looking to the Pole.

Pitiless wave? Flickering gyres, but he’d once about to have gone to the sun delights me.

And may appear so when this rebellious heart, and that will show itself to stone. Nay, fairer yet!

To swell a progress, start up, the same chance! As old as a dog, as quiet as a skeleton.

Move still doth breeding flow’rs. They will sing to me. That even its grossest flatterers dare not brave.

That looks up at the happy again. A clover, a Fisherman mends a glimmers on to me.

To them through my fingers am I at all satisfied. Her deadly pangs be drown’d, while I slept.

Rain on thee; yet eyes this curious friend. The winged’ steed, I wish we never looks both small and dull.

And make my old excuse, ’ proving his caresses by the cold. With open eyes ah woe is me!

To deem, as a most logical conclusion, that ’s underneath the weight. It even for me?

Nay, by my own eyes inspiring hole. My heart is dust at the pin; and here, ev’n then, shall meet!

Unto the straitest best of all to Love than is or ever dear! Angels of the precious jewel.

100

Ida came behind. That brought to. But to- morrow, the field. While prostrate here increase! To the field.

101

I cried for madder music and forms of men! His gentle daughter is safe and fro, while I weep!

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 8 #153 texts #kimo sequence

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rose-of-pollux · 4 months

Note

49) sweet (for Vincent Van Ghoul)

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More Young!Vincent chronicles--

The entire staff of the Saronic Academy of the Magic Arts—known among its students as “Terror Tech”—had been nervous upon the arrival of the Van Ghoul heir as one of the members of Advanced Class 36. There was more than enough reason to be concerned—the boy was a direct descendant of the feared Asmodeus, the Demon King, formerly known as Asamad Van Ghoul. And unlike the entire bloodline since Asamad, who had suppressed their magic in fear and shame of what Asmodeus had become, the boy, Vincent, had not only embraced and sought to refine his powers, but was quickly proving himself to be even more powerful than Asmodeus had ever been.

Fearing that history would repeat itself, most of the staff refused to even consider teaching Advanced Class 36—only Instructor Endora had the nerve to do so. Subsequently, the administrators of the school found themselves heavily involved in the goings on of Advanced Class 36—particularly Associate Dean Leonidas, whose only son was also in the class. Having remembered Asmodeus all too well, Leonidas kept a close watch on young Vincent.

And Vincent tended to be a magnet for trouble, much to the Associate Dean’s ire, always ending up in places he shouldn’t be, and often dragging his gang of friends with him (though, Leonidas noted, Asamad had been a loner—perhaps it was significant that Vincent was not the same).

On one such occasion, after having to corral the meddling kids and ushering them back to their dormitories, the Associate Dean noticed that Vincent was not among them. Getting a tip from Bryon Befuddle that Vincent had wandered off to the back gardens, Leonidas headed that way, pausing as he arrived and saw an odd sight.

Vincent was using his powers of levitation near a beehive, drawing out a small amount of honey from the hive, which he let fall on a plate of plakous bread, that had been topped with nuts and fruits, as well.

Leonidas cleared his throat, startling Vincent.

“It’s after hours,” he reminded the boy.

“Yes, Sir, I know—I just had to have some honey for my plakous—it’s so much sweeter that way,” Vincent replied.

Leonidas glanced at the beehive; the bees hadn’t even noticed Vincent’s intrusion.

“That kind of levitation takes quite a bit of finesse,” he noted. “I think even some of our senior students would be inclined to just break into the hive for that honey.”

“Well, I only needed a little bit, and I didn’t want to hurt or bother them,” Vincent said. “Well, goodnight, Sir!”

Taking his honey-laden plakous, Vincent headed off back towards the dormitory—no doubt trying to get out of earshot before Leonidas considered any punishment.

But Leonidas was still staring at the undisturbed beehive. The boy had so much power—and so much pride regarding his power—and yet, he had done his best to be gentle with common garden insects?

This boy is quite different from his ancestor, Leonidas realized. He has a genuinely kind heart.

And that would be the one factor that could make all the difference.

#Vincent Van Ghoul #scooby doo #13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo #fic

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

Text

Shattered Upside Down

A kotlc wings au: masterpost here

Chapter 36: Comfort and Contingency

word count: 7.4k

chapter summary: As Sophie faces the revelations of the diary, she has to keep moving forward and takes a risk after Keefe figures something out.

warnings: death (carry over from prior chapters), grief, that's mainly it!

taglist: @cosmogyral-cleo @axels-corner @cadence-talle @ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog @milesspidermanmorales @loverofallthingssmart @cowboypossume @jolieharkness @wings-of-hell-and-beyond @shellyseashell @blossomjenniie @akotlcblog @imaramennoodle @panic-at-the-multi-fandom-chaos @dragonwinnie-kotlc @solreefs @fintan-pyren @jazzanddaydreams @xanadaus @sa-divine

-ao3 link here or read below

In the moment it’s always oh so easy to forget how to feel, to push everything to the side and only focus on what’s most prudent in a single second. But that cannot last forever, and it shouldn’t. There will always come a time where one needs to step back, where you need to break down.

For Sophie, that time was right now.

“Sophie? Sophie what happened? Why are you crying?”

Was she?

Numbly, she raised her fingers to her cheeks, surprised to feel them come away wet, staring down at them as though they belonged to someone else. The fingers were shaking, trembling down the whole arm--the entire body, actually. Shivering and unsettled and wobbling as tears tracked their way down its cheeks.

She couldn’t feel any of it, could only see that little bee drawn on the page, only remember the line written in looping, shaking writing. Don’t let Murad know, don’t let Murad know.

Why not?

“Sophie? Sophie, this is starting to get really concerning, are you okay?”

Was she?

“No,” she choked out, covering her face with her hands as she tried to breathe, the enormity of the diary all crashing down on her at once. When she’d been in the middle she’d been too focused on getting through it, on absorbing as much as she could, looking for any detail that would help her learn something.

Now that she was done…

She pressed harder against her skin as if the pressure would calm her down. “It’s so awful.”

“What is?” There were hands on her shoulders gripping tight, shaking her gently. She didn’t know whose they were.

“Everything.”

“The book? The diary?” Dex asked, and she nodded, wiping at her eyes as she tried to focus on taking deep breaths. In and out. She started to count them, mind latching onto the numbers to try and keep itself from mulling over all the words, all the misery she’d absorbed.

That gnome’s life was ingrained in her memory now. There would never be a time when she could forget it, the curse of her photographic mind. She’d always recall each page, each stroke of the pen, the final smudges of ink.

When she refocused, letting the numbers piling in her head fade away, she found herself surrounded by concerned faces. Wrinkled brows and tight lips and wide eyes.

Tam had perched on the arm of her chair, a hand on her shoulder--he must’ve been the one shaking her--while Wylie sat criss-cross on the floor a little ways in front of her.

Dex stood beside her, arms crossed over his chest as his eyes scanned her face. When he saw her looking back, he straightened up, pausing only a moment before continuing.

“Did you find out how they died?” he asked, remembering her earlier comment. “I thought we already knew that. The monsters got them. Being in the trees only kept them away for so long--that’s why there were broken things and claw marks everywhere.”

Sophie shook her head, keeping her mouth firmly closed.

Wylie shifted then, leaning forward. “You can tell us you know. Whatever it is, it’s not something you have to deal with alone.”

Pausing for a moment, she glanced at the diary, knowing that if she didn’t say something about it she’d spend the whole night tossing and turning and thinking about it, and that wouldn’t do anyone any good. Besides, everyone else had to know eventually, even if they didn’t have to read the finer details or the specifics. That part she could keep to herself. She could protect them from that.

“Monsters did kill the gnomes,” she finally whispered, feeling Tam’s hand tighten on her shoulder again, the others nodding along. They knew this. It was the logical conclusion.

Tam prodded a little further as her voice failed her. “And?”

“And…it was Fintan’s fault. I don’t know how, but it was. He was there in the village for a few weeks trying to do…something! I don’t know what because the gnome didn’t know, but he was working with the monsters and it seemed like it was going well then everything went wrong and they all attacked. The gnomes weren’t even a part of it; they were only trying to help the animals and they ended up dead as collateral because of Fintan and Murad’s failure. I think it was an accident--it sounds like one what with Fintan collapsing, but it wasn’t the accident we thought it was--”

“It was tied to the Neverseen and Phoenix,” Wylie finished for her, looking off into the distance, thoughts she couldn’t translate written across his face.

Tam’s wings rustled behind her as he shook his head, trying to get his bearings. “Wait, so you’re saying that Fintan murdered the gnomes? Am I hearing you right?”

“Not exactly,” she mumbled. “It doesn’t make sense. Okay,” she said, sitting up straighter, all business. If she laid everything out maybe it would make more sense. Her friends sensed the shift and shut their mouths, ready to listen.

“The gnomes left the undergrounds because it was too hard being away from the sun and plants, we knew that part. They eventually ran into problems on the ground so they moved into the trees and built this village. But then Murad of all people, you know, the Phoenix member, shows up and finds them somehow despite this place being literally in the middle of nowhere--I mean seriously, we stumbled on this place completely by accident so how did he even get here? He shows up and asks them if he can use the village as a base of operations to work with the monsters--though the gnomes called them ‘affected animals’ apparently--because he claims he’s trying to fix them.

“And of course the gnomes are too considerate and generous for their own good, so they say yes, but then when Murad moves his people in--several people by the way, so clearly they’re better organized and equipped than the Neverseen--it turns out he’s working with Fintan! So now the gnomes are stuck in close proximity with him because as much as they hate him, they care about saving the animals and environment more, and then it gets even more confusing!”

She paused for a breath, brow furrowing as she rubbed at her temples, the pace keeping her from thinking about it enough to start crying again.

Wylie raised his hand tentatively. “You’re saying Murad and Fintan were here, as in where we are right now?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “That’s why there’s non-elf sized furniture. For them and all the people they brought with them.”

“I don’t think I can ever sleep on a bed here again,” Dex said, making a face.

Tam chewed at his lip, hard enough she worried he’d bleed. “How does it get more confusing?”

Sophie dropped her hands back into her lap, launching into the next part of her venting rant. “Right! The gnome kept describing these weird occurrences and interactions between Fintan and the monsters in the area. The first one was--you know the clearing where you found me?” she said, directing the question to Wylie, who nodded. “I think that’s the space they were referring to. From the description of what happened, he was down there and touched a monster. It was super aggressive and looked like it was going to kill him, but Fintan didn’t move or back down or do anything, and then it started submitting itself to him! Letting it touch him! Which is completely different from the way monsters behave around elves--you remember what it was like.

“They’d attack without thought or hesitation, yet he was so close to it. And from there he gradually brought the creature closer and closer until it was in the village, right next to people. As if that’s normal. It was like Linh’s dragons, just there among everyone. Then more joined! There were multiple monsters in the village all because of Fintan and I don’t know how he did it. The gnome theorized that it was another ability, but that doesn’t make any sense. And then whatever he was doing stopped working and…well…with a bunch of monsters in the village…” she trailed off, rubbing at her temples again.

No one spoke for a moment, letting everything sink in for a moment.

Finally, Tam whispered, “That’s…a lot.” He sucked in a breath. “I think meeting you was the best and worst thing that ever happened to me, Sophie.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean now I’ve…got you all, and Linh and I aren’t stuck at Exillium in the Neutral Territories anymore, but I’m also part bat and finding myself wrapped up in interspecies accidental murder via monsters by known terrorists while living in a place they lived. Being your friend is…interesting.” He shrugged as he spoke, eyes refracting the light as he glanced around, cheeks flushing as his wings shifted, leather rustling.

Dex made a face of reluctant agreement and nodded. “That is true. You always find yourself in the middle of everything, Soph. I mean, we’re willingly by your side, but jeez. Calm down.”

A surprised laugh interrupted her focused breathing, startling her. “You are remarkably calm about all of this; how are you doing that? I just told you Fintan was here and responsible, at least partly, for the death of all the gnomes who used to live here. We’re sitting on their furniture.”

His smile faded. “Yeah that’s…that’s creepy. I don’t know. I guess it’s…well, we can’t really do anything about that right now. We can’t change any of that. We still have Phoenix to rescue and Phoenix to take down. There’s still monsters everywhere. The gnomes…it’s awful and I hate it and I hate Fintan even more--and this Murad guy who was a total asshole to you. But I can’t do anything about that. I can do something about the rest, though. So, it’s not that I don’t care.”

Silence settled after he finished, long enough that he shifted uncomfortably. “Wow. That was a lot. Sorry. Forget I said anything,” he started waving his hands as though he could wave the words away, Sophie opening her mouth to reassure him otherwise when Wylie beat her to it.

“No, you’re right. It’s better to focus on what we can do. You’re probably better at that than most of us, that’s all. And it’s late, and while you and Tam are more naturally awake at this time, even Sophie’s insomnia isn’t. We can continue this later with everyone else.”

It wasn’t until he’d said it that she’d realized just how exhausted she was. Adrenaline from nerves over the diary entries had sustained her, the suspense of being unable to put it down despite knowing the ending.

Now, her shoulders drooped, eyes fighting to close, to put everything behind her, to give her mind a chance to process when she wasn’t there to witness it, to take over and shut her down.

She wanted to let it win.

“Right. Good idea,” Dex said, pointing at Wylie. “Um…” he started looking around the room. “You probably shouldn’t stay here. I don’t exactly have a bed you can borrow and I know you slept on the beanbag chair last time but…” he trailed off, gesturing towards said chair, which currently sat covered in various scraps of metal and poking wires. Honestly, she had no clue how Dex was even going to get all the pieces off; he’d be sitting on shards for eternity.

Sophie nodded along, moving to get up before realizing, “You don’t have a bed?”

“Nope. House didn’t come with one, and what with the owl thing, I don’t sleep as much anymore, so I usually just crash on one of the chairs.” He spoke nonchalantly, waving away her concerns as he offered her a hand to help her up, tired as she was. “I can walk you back to your place.”

Her place. Her place with a spot beside the bed you couldn’t even see from the entrance, a spot next to a window now shattered. A hiding spot for a terrified gnome. Right next to her bed.

Vehemently shaking her head, she pulled away. “No, not there. No.”

Dex furrowed his brows, starting to ask why before shaking his head, resting a hand on his hip as he tapped his fingers rhythmically, thinking. “Okay. Well, then--”

“She can stay with me,” Tam quietly interrupted, picking at the tender skin around his lip. “I’ve got a spare bed.”

Sophie didn’t say anything, only glancing between the three of them as they came up with a solution to a problem they didn’t even know, working things out so she wouldn’t have to as her mind lagged, body begging her to just give it up right then and there and sleep on the floor.

At least the fact that she was tired reminded her she’d gotten better about sleeping, even amidst everything else. Even without sedatives.

“Sophie?” Wylie asked, waving a hand in front of her face, snapping her back to the conversation as she blinked oh so slowly, savoring every moment her eyes closed and the world faded away.

“Hmm,” she responded, trying to stay focused on his face; the details kept slipping away.

He smiled slightly, looking like he was well on his way to being just like her. Slow blinks and slow movements, deep breaths and a tired heartbeat as he rubbed at his eyes. “You didn’t hear any of that did you.”

“Correct.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Tam cut in, shifting from side to side. “You’re coming with me. Let’s go,” he said, stepping closer and hesitating for a moment before he took her by the wrist, gently leading her towards the door.

Almost mindlessly, she trailed after him. It was Tam; she trusted Tam. What more was there to it? If he grabbed her hand and dragged her somewhere, he’d have a good reason and she’d trust it, even if sometimes he left her in the dark.

Everything was dark, actually. Sunlight seemed long forgotten as the stars took their quiet control of the night, galaxy swirling together so effortlessly eternal in the blank slate of the sky. Without anything nearby and almost no light produced in the village, you could see every detail the universe had to offer.

The only sound their shuffling feet against the wooden bridges as they swayed beneath them, they moved through it all. Tam’s fingers squeezed tight around hers, eyes squinted harshly, arguing with a racing heart.

Sophie had the vague memory of a night just like this, of walking through the darkness together, of holding his hand tightly and making sure he wouldn’t fall as he squinted at nothing.

Reaching forward, she tapped sloppily at his shoulder with her free hand. “Hey. If you tell me where to go I can lead, and then you won’t fall off and have to echolocate yourself back up.”

“I don’t echolocate,” he grumbled, rolling his eyes. Then after a moment, he said, “I’m near Linh. Not quite opposite her but--go to her and then you can find me.”

“I’ve already found you, you’re right here,” Sophie said, straightening up to get a better sense of where they were standing. Tam made some retort back at her under his breath, but she paid it no mind as she turned, making sure to hold his hand tight so she wouldn’t lose him.

Time passed in silence as she led him until Linh’s house became visible in the distance. He told her to turn and take a path past it, curving around the outskirts of the village and winding further and further away from everyone else. Of course Tam would be the furthest away, no matter how much they reminded him he always had a place set just for him in their family.

They passed practically right beside a dense copse of trees, forming a wall to their left she couldn’t even see through; she wondered how far it stretched, when it ended, considering running her fingers through the leaves.

“You missed it,” Tam said out of nowhere while they walked, stopping her up short.

“Hmm?”

“Right there, it’s a bit of a jump. You walked past it.”

“I have to jump?”

“Or fly. You have wings.”

“Why would you live somewhere you have to jump to?”

“Because I can fly. I don’t have to jump to it.”

A smile was pulling at his lips as he watched Sophie grapple with the conversation, pulling her back a dozen or so steps before gesturing with faux grandeur towards a particularly dense section of branches and falling vines and bushy leaves bordering the path.

“Tam, that’s a tree.”

“Sophie, that,” he corrected, “is the way to my house. Look,” he squinted a little, gauging something she couldn’t see, then disappeared into the thickest part.

Sophie tried to mirror his squinting, trying to find whatever it was that he’d found. The moonlight helped a little, but the exhaustion swaying her body meant her brain didn’t want to cooperate at all.

After a moment, Tam’s hand reappeared to grab her wrist, pulling her through the branches and dangling vines, greenery parting around her as her feet left the bridge and she found herself falling.

Snapping to attention behind her, her wings caught her fall, suspending her in midair as she adjusted, Tam’s hand falling from hers to give her more room.

“Oh wow,” was all she could think to say as she straightened, legs curling closer to her chest so as not to bump anything.

Peering down at the ground, the outlines of the roots of a thick cluster of trees were vaguely visible, all clumped and grouped together in a way that seemed almost unmanageable, like it would suffocate anything beneath it and around it. But it created a little pocket instead, a space hidden from everything around it.

Tam watched her take everything in from a sturdy branch in a tree just beyond the dense foliage they had pushed through--dense foliage she would suspect had been grown like that intentionally to keep everything behind it hidden once her mind started working again in the morning.

A few feet away from the bridge they’d just left sat the edge of another one, reaching reaching reaching towards the other without ever quite connecting. If you had enough spring in your step, you could jump it.

Trailing after the bridge, her eyes wandered further and further into the dark little alcove hidden in their village and landed upon the house, the house curved so expertly into and around the tree it sat upon and within that it seemed as though it had always been there, walls melding with branches and trunk so smoothly it was impossible to tell where one began and the other ended.

With such a thick canopy overhead, the walls had been saved the fading of the other homes in the village, a richer color blending with the continuous shadows the place must be covered with during the day.

“Are you going to stay there forever?” Tam asked, drawing her attention back towards where he stood, balancing on a branch with his back pressed against the trunk for more stability, the perfect stepping stone between the main bridge and this hidden one.

Taking a small jump forward, he deftly landed on the yearning bridge, stepping back a little to give her room to land next to him, wings going quiet, though the muted ache in her back made itself known.

“I’ve never seen your house before,” she mumbled as she followed behind him, this walkway much sturdier than all the suspension-style bridges interlocking the rest of the village. She’d gotten used to the constant sway and shifting surface beneath her, it was almost unsettling for it to be so suddenly absent.

Tam shrugged. “You didn’t need to.”

Slowing down so she could catch up, he watched her as they walked, though she didn’t pay it any mind. With her dwindling energy and lethargic body, he was right to worry about whether or not she’d topple off into the abyssal dark below them, her body waiting to be ravaged by monsters that might not be monster by choice.

Sophie listened to Tam’s heart hammering away in his chest as they reached the door, plain wood except for the hollowed out carving of a crescent moon near the top. All she could think was Hey, that’s just like Shrek’s outhouse, before he was pushing it open and tapping on something she couldn’t see.

Gentle lights flickered to life, strung all over the place in flowering bulbs and casting the room into subtle glows of pink and blue.

That was what she first noticed, but after that it was impossible to ignore the tree in the middle of his house.

“There’s a tree in the middle of your house,” she said, staring at the tree in the middle of his house.

“Yes, there is a tree in the middle of my house,” Tam said, astute and emotionless, dropping her wrist to walk around the tree.

It wasn’t an entire tree in the middle of his house, but rather part of the entire tree. From the outside the building appeared to blend right into the trunk, but from the inside that trunk split in two and went right through the center of everything. The flooring went close enough to the bottom of the visible part that there was no worry about falling through, but all manner of insects and other crawling creatures could slip through the crack; the ceiling was the same.

A few branches split out towards the upper portion, reaching towards a loft she could see if she tilted her head to the side. Close to the ceiling, it didn’t look good for much else besides storage.

The strings of lights reached all around the ceiling and occasionally zig-zagged out to dangle from the tree branches before jumping back to the ceiling. With a lag to her actions, she glanced around what she could see. A plush beanbag chair positioned atop a rug tucked into a corner, a small table beside it, a little dresser and shelf in the other corner beneath a window that wouldn’t get much light, Tam’s bag from the underground next to it.

A tree in the middle of his house.

Something thudded and bumped against something else, and Tam asked “Can I trust you to climb a ladder?”

“I’m not that tired,” she snorted, rolling her eyes. That was a lie. She was that tired.

He shrugged, positioning said ladder that he’d pulled from somewhere behind the tree that she couldn’t see, hooking it partially against a branch and partially against the floor of the loft.

Gesturing up, he said, “The beds are up there.”

Now that she thought about it, you could also fit beds up there, not just storage. Unless you considered people to be storage, in which case beds with people in them were still storage.

Nodding, she stepped forward, nearly losing her balance as she peered at the little crack around the tree in the middle of the house to see if she could see to the ground. She could not.

In silence, she tested her weight on the ladder, making sure it would hold with the last of her mental energy before pulling herself to the top, one rung at a time, ducking when she got close to the ceiling.

Hidden from her view on the floor, two beds lay tucked into each side of the loft. Just a mattress on the floor with a simple blanket and pillow draped over each, it looked cozier than anywhere else in the world.

She paused, heart pounding as she imagined the gnomes who must’ve occupied these beds, the gnomes who no longer were. She hadn’t thought about where she’d go if she didn’t go home, just knowing that she couldn’t sleep in her bed, not tonight. Not knowing that a gnome had crouched beside it in that hidden spot and written their last words.

Tam’s voice broke through the coiling anxiety in her chest, the immobilizing numbness. “No one lived here. It was empty when I found it, no sign of anyone being here. I found the beds in other houses and moved them.”

His comforting tone knocked something loose in her chest and she could move again.

These mattresses had belonged to someone else, but they’d been shifted around; this loft was no longer a place frozen in time waiting to be rediscovered until they’d stumbled upon it. It’d never even existed in the first place. The building, the mattresses, those had been there. But the final touch was Tam’s, and that was infinitely better than sleeping in the remnants of a ghost story.

As she flopped back on one of the mattresses, body entirely ready to just surrender then and there, Tam’s head popped into view, bat wings flaring slightly behind him as he found his balance, the soft light from the flower bulbs casting the skin into rosy tones, illuminating the veins stark against them.

“You’re…going to be okay, right?” he asked, squinting at her as he tugged at his bangs.

Sophie didn’t respond for a long moment, a weariness settling into her bones and dragging her down down down towards the earth, longing to bury her beneath it and feel the cool press of its weight against her skin. The earth was a long ways down.

Trailing her eyes away from Tam, they settled on the second bed. He had two.

“Stay?” she asked, tongue fumbling over the simple word.

He didn’t say anything, and her eyes fell solidly shut as she sought out the darkest corner of her mind to settle down in, casting a mental barrier around her consciousness. If she built a thick enough padding between her and everything else, cornering herself off, then she didn’t have to think about the messy handwriting on green-stained pages, smudged ink in fumbling whorls, petal covered covers somehow withstanding the test of time.

Shuffling sounded from the edge of the loft, moving steadily closer and closer as wood creaked beneathed Tam’s weight as he found his way to the second bed, falling atop it. Rustling blankets moved painfully slowed as she listened to him try to be quiet, try not to disturb her.

“Okay,” he whispered, but she’d already fallen asleep.

---------------------

Sophie Foster was the most solitary social creature to ever exist and the most social solitary thing to hate being her. She spoke to no one and knew everything about them, heard everything they said and everything they did not. She heard everything they did not say and said nothing in response.

People told her secrets they never told her, and she held onto them as if she didn’t know, rewarded with more secrets.

All she had to do was be there.

And then it was gone. She heard nothing and they said everything, whispers rounding cafeterias and names hissing like snakes in the air.

The mirrors in the hallway didn’t speak, but they said more. They said everything Sophie never had and never would and never would’ve thought to say.

She stood in the middle, peering down either side, the infinite and unending tunnels of mirrors upon mirrors stretching out on both sides of her. Left and right. Forever and eternity.

Looking back at her was Sophie. All identical, all mirrors of each other, all standing in this hallway made of mirrored walls, floors, and mirrors, all reflected back at each other. The same pale yellow undertones to her hair as it brushed against her shoulders, the same tilt to her head as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, the same hints of gold in her damning brown eyes, the same uneven eyelashes from all the picking they’d done, the same scar on the back of her hand in the shape of a star, the same worry crease between everyone’s brows.

Sophie watched Sophie watch Sophie and gave a little wave, watching Sophie watch Sophie wave back.

Where did the mirrored hallway lead?

When she’d first found it, first seen it, she hadn’t been there. There were no reflections, no movements, no Sophies. There’d been no feet she could use to step forward and further into the hall, a hall that seemed as infinite as another she’d found the end of once.

But now they were there.

Sophie looked back at herself from the mirror and all of her was there, scars and skin and wings and feet and all.

So she took a step to the right, then stopped.

Instead, she turned to her left, peering down the hallway, watching her reflections turn around themselves and peer in different places with her.

Right couldn’t be the right way to go; it was too obvious.

She went left, footsteps silent against the mirrored floors. Everything was silent. Sound didn’t exist in the hallway, no pounding heart nor buzzing wings penetrating the fog. And yet it didn’t unsettle her. Things were supposed to be quiet here, anything to the contrary would’ve been frightening.

Step after step she took in absolute silence, watching herself walk at her side from the corners of her mind, that dreamy haze distorting and discoloring and lagging around her.

One foot after the other, on and on and on, and all there was was more her, more walking, more mirrors. She didn’t think the hallway had any end.

She didn’t think she’d ever stop seeing herself.

Maybe that was the point.

---------------------

Sophie rubbed at her forehead as she walked along the yearning bridge, still finding her footing. Flecks of light bursting with triumph through the thick canopy over head dotted the ground, covered her arms, and she watched them for a moment, glad they didn’t make her skull throb any more than it already did.

She’d woken fitfully, the drowning lethargy of the night before no longer strong enough to drag her under and keep everything black in her head, the walls she’d placed around her consciousness fading as she subconsciously reached out, turning the words and events she’d learned over in her mind.

Waking fitfully would’ve been fine anywhere else, but when you woke fitfully in a small loft with a low ceiling, there was a risk you’d bump your head on it.

Sophie had bumped her head on it.

Which was fine. It wasn’t like her brain was her most important organ or anything, the source of her control for nearly all her abilities. She could afford to bang it around a bit, right?

At least, that’s what she told herself as she followed the bridge, fanning out the clothes she’d been wearing long enough to feel grimy, in search of something; she hadn’t figured out what she was looking for yet, but she’d figure it out.

Tam had been gone when she’d woken up, his bed mostly made aside from a few rumples that looked like he’d sat down for a while, maybe to wait for her.

Given that it was almost midday at this point, she couldn’t blame him for leaving her alone, though she would have to apologize for driving him out of his own house.

Fintan and Phoenix and Murad circled over and over again in her mind as she emerged from the thick foliage onto the main bridge, blinking through the sudden sunlight, unsure where to go from there.

They’d been the source of so many problems for so many people, completely changing the way their society worked, their ways of life. And from what she knew, they were going to continue to do so. Fintan may have made some good points in his dramatic monologues, but his methods weren’t something she could ever support.

And how had Phoenix gone from a kid who happened to be there to who she was now at the center of all of this? Could it really just be horrible luck, being in the wrong place at the wrong time?

Heading back towards the central parts of the village, voices overlapping each other and debating sounded up ahead. She didn’t pay them much attention, figuring if it was important people would clue her in when needed and if it wasn’t then she didn’t need to know.

“Hey! She’s awake!” Marella called out as Sophie rounded a corner and the center platform they’d had their faux campfires at came into view.

Marella sat with Keefe, Biana, Dex, and Linh in a loose circle, glasses of water and snacks between them all, though Keefe’s looked mostly untouched.

Awkwardly, Sophie gave a little wave. “Um. Hello. What are you all doing here?”

They glanced at each other, no one saying anything, though a few of their mouths looked like they were trying.

“I don’t like what that silence means,” she stated, dropping her hand to her side as she surveyed the area more closely; maybe there was something sitting out that would give her a clue as to what they were talking about.

Keefe shifted forward then, hands braced on his knees. “Okay, I know you said we couldn’t go to Foxfire because we didn’t know anything about what we’d be getting into--”

“Because all we know is that it has something to do with Foxfire, if that even is the correct answer. Which means we should not go there yet,” she interrupted and repeated, having a suspicious feeling she knew exactly where this conversation was heading.

Shaking her head, she started to tell him that she knew he wanted something to do and that he was going through a hard time right now, but he cut her off before she could finish the first word.

“I solved another part of your riddle. So technically we have more information and your point from before doesn’t matter anymore!”

Wind rustled through the leaves, brushing mussed strands of hair against her lips as she pursed them, already feeling another headache forming alongside the bump on her head.

She sighed. “Explain.”

Keefe sat up straighter, everyone else in the group glancing between the two of them as if watching their friend and a parent fight, awkwardly existing in the vicinity.

“Okay, sit down,” he instructed first.

Sophie closed the distance between her and the group, sinking onto a bench obediently, some rebellious part of her curious to hear what he had to say despite the danger it would inevitably entail.

Once she’d settled, he launched into his explanation. “I couldn’t sleep very well last night, and because we’d been talking about your riddle I kept thinking about it over and over again and I realized, if they sent the same first sentence--the exact same first sentence as each other, then we have to think of the two riddles not as riddles, but a riddle, only one. They’re working together. Bronte told us to go to Foxfire, but nothing else he said helped. So then I thought of it this way: Bronte is telling us the general area, but it’s Councillor Oralie who's talking details!”

Sophie looked at everyone else, who seemed to be up to speed on this idea, now watching what she’d say. “And?” she said, thinking over the rest of the riddle.

“‘History will have something sweet to say about you’” he said, the hint of a smile ghosting at his lips. “What do you think of when you think of Foxfire and sweets?”

“The mentor’s cafeteria,” she blurted out, then, “oh.”

Keefe snapped his fingers into finger guns, mouthing Bingo.

Marella pumped her first in celebration. “She got there!”

Someone laughed a little at that, and Sophie leaned back, scooting her hands underneath her so she wouldn’t reach up to pull on her lashes, though she wanted to desperately.

“There’s more, isn’t there,” she said, looking around the group. If he was just relaying information about the riddles--riddle--then why would they have gathered here like this?

That’s where he winced, running a hand through his hair, preparing himself. “Yeah, there is, Foster. I know you think Foxfire is dangerous, but what else are we supposed to do? Wait for it to not be? It’s not going to get better if we don’t do something, so let’s do something! We can make a plan--that’s why we’re all talking together--because I know you love those so much, but please don’t say that it’s too risky because literally everything we’re doing is risky. They sent you that riddle for a reason; we have to see what it means!” he finished, practically begging, hand pressed together, eyebrows scrunched and making the bag under his eyes even more prominent. He truly looked like he hadn’t slept a wink.

“Actually,” she said, carefully. “I was thinking that…that’s a good point.” It wasn’t going to get better if they didn’t do anything, and yet a part of her still wanted to ignore it and wait for it to fix itself. That way it wouldn’t be her friends, her family in the line of fire.

But they wouldn’t be her family if they weren’t putting themselves out there because they couldn’t stand doing nothing.

Keefe started back. “You were? I was not expecting that, like, at all.”

“Yeah, you’re usually really preachy about how we shouldn’t be putting ourselves in danger, and then you go and put yourself in danger,” Biana nodded, breaking the silent tension of the moment. No longer was it just her and Keefe talking, now it was a group discussion.

Or at least, a partial group discussion. “What does everyone else think about this?” she asked, briefly looking off to the side to do a mental scan for everyone. Tam, Fitz, Wylie, and Maruca were unaccounted for, and anything they decided she wanted their opinions on.

“Everyone’s more or less on board,” Dex supplied, tapping his fingers together absentmindedly. “Fitz and Tam are, of course, worried. But Maruca’s determined to protect everyone and make sure everything goes as smoothly as it can.”

“Where are they?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Keefe shared all the information he had and then there was nothing to do but wait for you to wake up. We weren’t actually talking about Foxfire until you came along, we were just hanging out. They’ll probably be upset that we’re talking about it without them, so maybe we should find them.”

“And after that? Now what?”

Biana leaned forward at that, speaking up. “Now is the part where you let me sneak into Foxfire to see how bad it is!”

“We’re not going to let you sneak in on your own!” Linh countered, flicking her with a splash of water like she was scolding a cat. Sophie couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen a cat; Echo certainly didn’t count.

Dex scooted back away from their bickering, wings clinking against the banister behind him as he searched fruitlessly for solace.

Biana shook herself off, droplets flying. “I’d be so quick and efficient, they wouldn’t even know I was there. Give me five minutes and I can see everything we’d need to know! You let me sneak in to spy on the Neverseen when we took them down the first time!”

“Uh, you did that without telling anyone,” Marella corrected with a snort. “Very Keefe of you, which is not a good thing in this case. No offense,” she added at the end with a glance at him.

Keefe shrugged. “None taken. You’re right, it was pretty stupidly Keefe of Biana to sneak away in the middle of the night to spy on the Neverseen….but, it did work. And this time we can be even more prepared! Like what you guys did when you went to Nightfall, the…um…not the Atlantis one,” he said, tripping over the last words.

That was his mother’s Nightfall. His mother he didn’t like to talk or think about who he’d been forced to think about more than anyone ever should’ve been in the past day. Distractions could only help so much.

“Fine, I’ll take Sophie with me,” Biana relented, covering his slip.

“There she goes, that Lady Fos-boss, always finding her way to the center of everything,” Dex sighed, rolling his eyes, though his lips betrayed him with their twitching smile.

Sophie put her hands on either side of her face, pressing on her temples. “I just woke up like twenty minutes ago.”

“That’s twenty minutes you could’ve been with me at Foxfire!” Biana said, looking very pleased that Sophie hadn’t actually said no to the idea.

Sophie sighed, running over everything in her head. Foxfire, the mentor’s cafeteria, the last things she’d heard about the place. That it was overcome with monsters, with broken glass and shredded grass fields. That it hadn’t been touched since the day it fell.

But…that wasn’t going to change if they didn’t do something. Murad and Fintan were making more monsters and losing more and more control everyday, dragging kids down with them in the process.

“Can I eat something first?” she asked, and Biana grinned her victory.

---------------------

We’re not going to do anything but look, she affirmed again, clutching as hard as she dared to Biana’s hand in her own.

This time, unlike the first Nightfall, Biana was on her left. That way Sophie and Biana both had their dominant hands available to do whatever they needed to in the case of an emergency.

Yeah, you’ve only said it ten times, Biana shot back, bouncing slightly next to her, waiting with anticipation for them to proceed.

Torn purple grass field lay sprawled out between them and the once-glittering pyramid. Now the glass sat cracked and decrepit and smudged, smeared and foggy, like it wanted to collapse in on itself. Around it, chunks of dirt and earth had been torn up around the place, flat terrain now bumpy and disheveled, like streets after a storm when all the debris and mud had been washed into the road, drying there until something came along to freshen it up.

There was no one to freshen this place up anymore.

Sophie had teleported them to the furthest point on the field she could recall ever being to in her wanderings, not wanting to put them in the middle of something they’d have no way out of.

Skin tingling with the lingering pressure of each hug of farewell from her family--Fitz had held on particularly tight--before she’d split open the sky, a shiver down her back joined it as she stared and stared, waiting for the scene to make sense.

I don’t get it. Where are the monsters?

Because when she gazed over Foxfire’s grounds, the smashed glass and overturned earth, crumbled crystal walls and shattered pillars, impact sites and gouges and tears riddled through every inch, it was empty.

There was zero sign of life.

---------------------

Do you think they’re all inside? Sophie asked, nudging Biana. With glass walls, floors, and ceilings, they’d have to be hidden very deep inside, the layers of glass building up thick enough that you couldn’t see through unless you were inside.

Unsettled, they started moving, skirting around the mounds of dirt, footsteps the loudest thing in the area.

Maybe they didn’t like the elements and had sequestered themselves away, a ticking time bomb just waiting to blow until something came along to trip it.

They’d trip it.

Sophie felt Biana shrug, but she didn’t say anything, prompting Sophie to ask, Hey, are you good? We can go back; we’ll figure something else out.

No, Biana asserted. I…everything turned into colors. I can…see…so many colors, she struggled to get out, words falling with awkward grace from her mind into their shared mental space, clunking like bricks.

What does that mean? Sophie asked, eyeing the fields like she could pick up on something beyond her senses if she only tried hard enough.

Monsters.

Sophie froze, footsteps halting. Where.

Everywhere, Biana whispered, and her free hand blinked into view just long enough for her to point down at the ground, moving her arm around in a circle around them, gesturing towards everything nearby.

What? Sophie asked, looking, seeing nothing but ruined terf and--

Look, Biana urged, words still clunky, the presence of monsters and creatures overwhelming her senses and messing with her word processing.

Sophie looked. And then it clicked.

Torn up earth but no monsters in sight, Biana seeing colors and pointing to the ground.

She peered closer at one of the mounds of disturbed soil, recognizing it as a hole now that she knew what to look for.

Or in better words, a burrow.

And looking out over the whole field, all the shredded grass and mounds of dirt…she lost count of how many there were.

Hidden under the earth, under the surface, was an army of monsters waiting to explode like a minefield.

And they stood right in the middle of it.

#kotlc wings au #shattered upside down #quil's quill #kotlc fanfic #happy wings au day everyone I edited this instead of doing homework #which like. it's not due until wednesday but also it's time consuming so I really should work on it #anyway! i wrote things!#and now you can read them #:)

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stylesispunk · 7 months

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"I couldn't want you anymore"

artist! Joel Miller x florist!f! Reader

series masterlist | prologue | next | materlist

warning: no warnings for now and age gap ( reader is 28 and Joel 36).

a/n: okay!! This chapter is out earlier than it was planned but is not a longe one so.. welcome haha. I hope you enjoy the first stop of this journey 👀 Reblogs and comments are always appreciated. happy reading 💌 also remember, english is not my first language so if sometimes everything sounds stupid, blame my brain and the mix of three languages there

Bee or annoying bee. That’s how Joel had referred to you since the day he laid his eyes on you for the first time when he saw you surrounded by a thousand flowers.

You arrived here on a Monday morning exactly four years ago. At first, Joel thought you were one of the cutest people he had ever seen in his then 31 years of life. Even when you were the complete opposite of him in every way. Meanwhile, Joel was organized, you were spontaneous and messy and people around town seemed to love you for it. You were nice to everyone, to Sarah, and even to his brother, but to Joel, you were completely closed off. Yes, you smiled at him weakly every once in a while or even asked him about his day, but your smile never reached your eyes, you were simply polite and everything else. So, since that day, Joel decided he didn’t like you.

He didn’t like the flowers you sent to his daughter on special days, neither did he like the flowers you sent to him every time he had a new exhibition in his art gallery, and he didn’t like it when your flower shop also became a little coffee shop for people passing by. He simply didn’t like anything coming from you.

You made him feel weird in the stomach, and he didn’t like that feeling.

And now, Joel didn’t know why he was in this position. He wanted to slap himself once he told his ex or how he liked to call her, the woman who birthed Sarah, that you were his girlfriend. In his defense, he was desperate at that moment He wasn't thinking straight and you were the first person who came to his sight at that moment. He only knew he didn't want the woman who abandoned him with a tiny baby years ago, back into his life.

So, once you were left speechless at the "This is my girlfriend" statement, he reached for you immediately with the promise he was going to tell you everything, so you left the gallery in peace but not without sending daggers at Joel.

After that, Joel invited Lauren into his gallery, desperately trying to find a way to convince her that he had moved on from them. He wasn't the same naive person he had been back then. But she was determined to rekindle their relationship and see Sarah in order to become the family they were meant to be, and she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"Joel, I understand that you've moved on with your life. But Sarah deserves to know her mother, and I want to be there for her."

Joel nodded; his heart heavy with the weight of their shared history. "I want what's best for Sarah too," he said, "but it's not that simple. You broke my heart when you left us alone.”

Lauren reached out and placed a hand on his arm, a gesture of reconciliation. "Joel, I'm not asking for your forgiveness right now. I just want a chance to be a part of Sarah's life” she said. “And maybe now that we’re both grown adults, we can make it work between us.”

“I told you I have a girlfriend” he lied again, trying to escape from this particular situation.

“The one who left?” she scoffed “You need a woman, Joel. Not an annoying girl”

Joel didn’t utter a word, but for the first time since he met you, he felt the need to stand up for you.

A few hours later, after the crazy events from earlier in the morning, Joel found himself standing outside your flower shop, feeling a deep sense of humiliation. He knew he had some explaining to do, and he hoped you would at least hear him out.

As he entered the shop, the familiar sweet scent of flowers enveloped him, you were behind the counter, arranging some bouquets of flowers, pretending you were too focused on your work to even acknowledge his presence.

"Bee" Joel began cautiously, "we need to talk."

You didn't look up from your flowers as you spoke: "Oh, what do you wanna talk about, my dear boyfriend?”

Joel winced at the reminder of the lie he had told.

“You’re such a baby” you continued “Pretending I’m your girlfriend in front of... whoever that woman was?"

"Sarah's mother. I know it was a terrible thing to do, and I'm sorry. She showed up out of nowhere, and I didn't know how to handle it. I panicked."

At that piece of information, you finally looked up, locking eyes with Joel's. "So, what? You just decided to drag me into your mess?"

"No, it wasn't about that," Joel replied quickly. "I don't want her back in my life, and I thought if she believed I had moved on, she'd leave. I don’t really know.”

Your anger seemed to soften slightly as you listened to Joel's explanation, but still, you remained guarded. "That doesn't excuse your actions, Joel. We’re not friends” you said. As a matter of fact, “You can’t just use me like that.”

Joel sighed, running a hand through his hair in frustration. "I know we haven't exactly been friendly neighbors here, and I take responsibility for that. But I promise you, this was a desperate move, and I didn't mean to involve you like that."

You continued to arrange the flowers, with delicate movements. "Why didn't you just tell her the truth?"

“What truth?”

“The one that you are so fucking annoying you can’t even keep a woman by your side”

Joel's response was sharp, filled with resentment. "Like you could keep a man with you," he scoffed.

The words hung heavily in the air, making the tension between you two grow into a battle, a bitter word exchange.

You clenched your jaw, your eyes narrowing as you met Joel's gaze. "Don't pretend you know anything about my life," you retorted, your voice tinged with anger.

Joel's expression hardened as he shot back, "I know enough to see that you're all smiles and sunshine to everyone else, but you push everyone away, especially me."

The words cut deep into your ego, and you felt the frustration arising. "Maybe I pushed you away because you're so judgmental and closed off," you fired back, not willing to back down. “Now, get out of my shop you will kill my flowers with your stinky mouth”

“No,” he stated.

“What?” you asked, sending daggers at him.

“I won’t go because I need your help”, his voice almost a plea.

Your eyes widened in disbelief at Joel's tone. "You've got to be kidding me," you exclaimed once you realized what he meant, the frustration in your tone was evident. "After all this, you want me to pretend to be your girlfriend?"

Joel's expression was one of desperation as he replied, "I know it's a lot to ask, and I understand if you don't want to do it. But I promise it's just one more time, and I'll make it up to you somehow."

You crossed your arms and tapped your foot on the ground "Joel, you've already pulled this stunt once today. Why on earth would I agree to do it again?"

Joel took a step closer, looking earnestly into your eyes. "Because this is important to me. Lauren is not someone I want back in my life, and I need a way to convince her to leave for good. Please, just help me one more time."

“But it is not important to me!” you exclaimed, making Joel stop his rambling “You are not my friend. I don’t own you anything”

Your words cut through the tension, and for a moment, Joel was reminded of just how much you two didn't get along. He felt a pang of guilt for dragging you into his mess and into his life.

Once you finished with the flowers, you set them aside. She leaned against the counter, studying Joel carefully. "You know, you’re ridiculous, right?” fakely smiled at him. “You’re a 36-year-old man fake dating a girl”

Joel winced at your words. He knew he had acted irrationally and put you in an uncomfortable position, but hearing your frustration made it all the more stupid.

"I understand if you're angry," Joel admitted, his voice tinged with regret. "I never should have involved you in this mess. It was unfair to you, and I'm truly sorry for that."

You let out a sigh in annoyance at Joel's request "Fine, I'll do it, but with one condition."

Joel's face lit up with hope. "Name it."

“You cannot fall in love with me,” she said, in a completely serious tone.

Joel scoffed…I mean, there is no way he could possibly love you in that way.

Joel chuckled, a nervous laugh escaping him. "Bee, trust me, the last thing on my mind right now is falling in love with anyone. Especially you" he placed his hands on the counter, almost touching your fingers “I could say the same about you. Don’t fall in love with me, baby”

You couldn't help but roll your eyes at his response, a small smirk tugging at the corner of your lips. "Oh, don't worry, Joel. Falling in love with you is impossible," you retorted, matching your tone with his.

Your expression became serious; locking eyes with Joel "I mean it, Joel. No matter what happens during all this, we can't let it go beyond pretending. We both know we can't stand each other, and that's not going to change."

Joel nodded in agreement. "I couldn't agree more, Baby. After this is over, you’re back to only being a pain in my ass and the most insufferable person I know.

You couldn't help but roll your eyes again, but you still offered a small smile. "Uh! that isn’t a nice thing to say about your girlfriend”, she pouted.

Joel chuckled with a playful smirk "Ah, yes, how could I forget? My lovely girlfriend”

With the agreement in place, both of you understood the boundaries you had placed before doing this act. It was a peculiar arrangement, born out of necessity rather than desire. After all, it would last a few days or maybe some weeks. But Joel would do everything for his own and Sarah's sake, and you were willing to play along with it because, after all, you were a people pleaser.

As the tension eased, you continued to arrange more flowers, and Joel looked around your shop. Every single part of it held pieces of you. From the scent to the colors, it suited you.

"I appreciate your willingness to go along with this, Bee" Joel said sincerely, breaking the silence "It means a lot to me, even if we can't, you know, stand each other."

You gave him a small nod. "I hope that from now on, you stop ruining my flowers.”

Joel smiled "Promise”

Joel raised his hands to shake hands with you, in a gesture to seal the agreement. You accepted his hand, and for a brief moment, your skin met his in the handshake. There was electricity sparkling at the touch, one that neither of you had anticipated. Swiftly, both of you let go of each other's hands, leaving an odd feeling lingering in the air.

“See you around,” Joel said, trying to cut the tension left in the air.

“See you” you answered, this time without meeting his eyes as you felt the blood rushing into your cheeks.

Joel turned and headed back to his gallery, with that strange feeling he hated so much settled in his stomach.

a/n: Okay this is the first official chapter of this story, this is more like an introduction of their agreement, but more is coming. I really feel inspired because last week spring began here so..flowers and more flowers. i have so many ideas for this one so i hope you like the story and the following chapters. Reblogs and comments are always appreciated, please. Take care and see you soon.

p.s for those who read my other fic. I promise the next chapter will be posted by the end of this week or during the next one

tag 💌: @joeldjarin @borhapparker @fatima-marisa @kirsteng42

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twotrojanwomen · 1 year

Text

From Behind the Bookshelf

With luck, we have made it to the temple. The maidens of the shrine already knew of the growing commotion throughout Troy and pulled my children and I in quickly. The three of them clung to me, my youngest, Beroe, heavy in my arms. At just two, she is old enough to toddle after her older sisters, but not yet able to keep up with their longer and quicker legs. I am thankful that they could use their speed tonight. They were brave, but still have tears streaming down their cheeks now. I do not scold them. They are only ten and eight, still young enough to cry.

We sit a small alcove, hidden behind a shelf of scrolls. I felt safest where we couldn't be seen and where only my girls and I could fit. I feared having to share the space with another family that I could not control. That we would be given away by a wailing baby or a panicked mother was my greatest fear. when I saw the glow of flames and smoke at the city's edge match the colours of the breaking dawn as we made our way through the narrow alleys, the fear only amplified.

Now there is nothing to do but wait. There is a small crack in the wood of the shelf, just barely large enough to see through. Putting my eye to it, I can see the large statue in the center of the temple, a woman clinging to its base in prayer. [7] The priestesses move around her like bees. She is too far to tell her station, but she is a fool for staying in the open as she is. Perhaps she has lost her husband like the young woman on the street. It felt strange having to step past his body when we left for the temple. His blood had already seeped into the cracks between the cobble, caking at our doorstep.

I fear the worst. I imagine if the kings leading the Achaeans are within the city alongside their men, they will headfirst to the great house of Paris. It was he who started this war after all. Not that he has been known to fight in it. A war started on behalf of a woman is a strange one. Its perplexing. We stay within our homes, raise children, and live through a war started by Paris, yet when I comforted my mother when my father died in the early battles, she blamed the Lady Helen. Said she was a failed woman. That she should have stayed in her role. [8] Not long after, on her deathbed, she shared that opinion again, unfaltering as she died.

I wonder if she was wrong. Or if it even matters anymore.

[7] Bergren, Ann, "Helen's Web: Time and Tableau in the Iliad," Weaving Truth: Essays on Language and the Female in Early Greek Thought, (Washington D.C.: Center for Hellenic Studies, 2008,) 43-57.

[8] Atchity, Kennith, "The Role of Women in the Homeric Poems," Critical Essays on Homer, (Boston: G. K. Hall & Co., 1987,) 15-36.

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traceemerald · 1 year

Text

-November 15th, Factory Tyrant's Journal, Entry 4-

I actually remembered ToggleSneak this time.

Anyway, I still need slimeballs for an arboretum, ToggleSneak doesn't help with that.

TCR does add 4 mods that allow you to get slimeballs without slimes, but Thaumcraft and Reliquary's methods require at least one slimeball, Forestry's method (presumably) requires a bee farm, and IC2's method is highly random and doesn't produce slimeballs often.

Since I have no idea how to make a Forestry bee farm, I'll have to rely on IC2's method for now, which luckily isn't too hard to set up, I just need some glowstone dust to make the machine for it, so I'm going to make a nether portal.

Once in the nether, I almost immediately saw a fortress that's visible from my portal, but I'm going to ignore it for now, as that's not why I'm here.

After my incredibly brief trip to the nether, I was able to craft a recycler (IC2), which lets me turn unwanted resources into scrap, used solely to craft scrap boxes, which are basically lootboxes, with a 1.16% chance to contain slimeballs.

Recyclers accept almost any item in the game (including bedrock, according to JEI), they may even accept every item, I haven't tried.

You don't get 1 scrap for every item you put in, it looks like it's more 1 scrap every 8 items, or around 8 scrap per stack, and you need 9 to make a scrap box, so I don't think I'll be getting many scrap boxes.

My first scrap box contained copper dust, not something I need at the moment.

I'll probably just be putting cobblestone and seeds in my recycler for now, and only say what I get out of scrap boxes once I get something notable, like slimeballs or diamonds (0.19% chance).

My quarry ran out of fuel again, and I don't have enough coal or charcoal to reliably keep it fueled, but I noticed that the engine I'm powering it with can burn any fuel that a furnace can, so I've decided to start fueling it with lava buckets now.

Unfortunately, it has to be lava buckets, I can't just pump lava directly into the stirling engine, but they should last long enough that I won't have to refuel it that often.

Anyway, I'm going to go see what I can find in the nether fortress.

Notable loot I got from the fortress includes 2 saddles, gold horse armor, 3 diamonds, 1 interdiction torch (Reliquary, creates a mob-repelling force-field), 1 sinister drone (Forestry, a type of bee), 2 iridium shards (high level IC2 crafting component, I don't have enough for them to be useful), 3 sulfur (used for some mid-level IC2 crafting, also used for some Thermal Foundation crafting), and 1 aer (air) crystal from a wisp I fought.

Since I have 3 different types of vis crystals now, I can get started on Thaumcraft, but I'll leave that for later.

Obviously I also got the standard loot like blaze rods and nether warts.

I also just got a slimeball from some scrap boxes, so now I can craft a slime pearl (Reliquary crafting ingredient normally dropped from slimes), and then turn that into 6 slimeballs.

Each slime pearl requires 8 iron, but I have a pretty good supply of iron, so that's not an issue.

I'm not able to get any emeralds from the village librarian since he seems to have died to a zombie attack, but luckily the other village has a cleric I was able to sell some gold to, which means I now have all the items I need for an arboretum.

After I made one, I learned that I actually need another resource to actually run it, fertilizer, which is crafted with apatite, which I don't have.

I'm assuming the only way to get apatite is to mine for it, so I'm going mining again.

The results of that mining trip were 1 stack plus 11 coal, 61 iron ore, 7 gold ore, 46 lapis, 7 stacks plus 25 redstone, 2 nether quartz, 15 diamonds, 36 lead ore, 46 silver ore, 1 stack plus 53 electrotine, 2 rare earths, 4 peridot, 1 tanzanite, 2 nickel ore, 2 cinnabar ore, 2 uranium ore, and 0 apatite ore, but I also used 3 of the diamonds to make a new pickaxe after the ones I brought with me broke.

I also got an additional diamond from a scrap box after I got back.

I also ran out of lava, so I had to grab some more before I could process the ores I got.

The next stage in IC2 ore processing is an ore washing plant, which will give me a little bit more out of every ore, but it won't double ores like the macerator does.

I think I'm at the point where I can get an ore washing plant, but I'll wait until next time.

-End Journal Entry 4-

#minecraft #tekkit classic reloaded #journal entry

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hits1000 · 1 year

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Top Songs of 1972 [Hits of 1972]

Top Songs of 1972 [Hits of 1972] Top Songs of 1972 including: Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California, Alice Cooper - School's Out, Andy Williams - Speak Softly Love, Arlo Guthrie - City Of New Orleans, Bee Gees - Run To Me, Bill Withers - Lean On Me, Bread - Everything I Own, Carly Simon - You're So Vain, Chicago - Saturday In The Park, Chicory Tip - Son Of My Father and many more! Subscribe to our channel to see more of our content! https://www.facebook.com/hits1000top https://twitter.com/Hits10001 1. Albert Hammond - It Never Rains in Southern California 2. Alice Cooper - School's Out 3. Andy Williams - Speak Softly Love 4. Arlo Guthrie - City Of New Orleans 5. Bata Illic - Michaela 6. Bee Gees - My World 7. Bee Gees - Run To Me 8. Bill Withers - Lean On Me 9. Bread - Everything I Own 10. C. Jérôme - Kiss Me 11. Camilo Sesto - Algo De Mí 12. Carly Simon - You're So Vain 13. Chicago - Saturday In The Park 14. Chicory Tip - Son Of My Father 15. Christian Anders - Es Fährt Ein Zug Nach Nirgendwo 16. Chuck Berry - My Ding A Ling 17. Claude François - Le Lundi Au Soleil 18. Climax - Precious And Few 19. Daniel Boone - Beautiful Sunday 20. David Bowie - Starman 21. David Cassidy - Could It Forever 22. Deep Purple - Smoke On The Water 23. Die Windows - How Do You Do 24. Don McLean - Vincent 25. Donny Osmond - Puppy Love 26. Dr. Hook & The Medicine Show - Sylvia's Mother 27. Elton John - Crocodile Rock 28. Elton John - Rocket Man 29. Elvis Presley - Burning Love 30. Gallery - Nice To Be With You 31. Gérard Lenorman - De Toi 32. Gianni Nazzaro - Quanto È Bella Lei 33. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Alone Again (Naturally) 34. Gilbert O'Sullivan - Clair 35. Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes - If You Don't Know Me By Now 36. Harry Nilsson - Without You 37. Hot Butter - Popcorn 38. Jimmy Osmond - Long Haired Lover From Liverpool 39. Johnny Nash - I Can See Clearly Now 40. Juliane Werding - Am Tag Als Conny Kramer Starb 41. Julio Iglesias - Un Canto A Galicia 42. Lobo - I'd Love You To Want Me 43. Looking Glass - Brandy 44. Los Diablos - Oh, Oh July 45. Mac Davis - Baby Don't Get Hooked on Me 46. Michael Jackson - Ben 47. Micky - El Chico De La Armónica 48. Middle Of The Road - Samson And Delilah 49. Middle Of The Road - The Talk Of All The USA 50. Mike Brant - C'est ma prière 51. Mina - Grande Grande Grande 52. Mouth & MacNeal - Hello-A 53. Neil Diamond - Song Sung Blue 54. Neil Young - Heart Of Gold 55. Nino Bravo - Un Beso Y Una Flor 56. Paul Simon - Mother and Child Reunion 57. Pooh - Pensiero 58. Raspberries - Go All The Way 59. Roberta Flack - First Time Ever I Saw Your Face 60. Roberto Carlos – A Distância 61. Rod Stewart - You Wear It Well 62. Slade - Mama Weer All Crazy Now 63. Slade - Take Me Bak 'Ome 64. Steely Dan - Do It Again 65. Stevie Wonder - Superstition 66. T. Rex - Metal Guru 67. T. Rex - Telegram Sam 68. Terry Dactyl And The Dinosaurs - On A Saturday Night 69. The Carpenters - Goodbye To Love 70. The Hollies - The Baby 71. The Move - California Man 72. The New Seekers - Beg, Steal Or Borrow 73. The Osmonds - Crazy Horses 74. The Osmonds - Down By The Lazy River 75. The Rolling Stones - Tumbling Dice 76. The Sweet - Little Willy 77. The Sweet - Wig Wam Bam 78. Three Dog Night - Black and White 79. Vicente Fernández - Volver, Volver 80. Vicky Leandros - Après Toi Related Searches: Reaction Greatest Hits of 1972, Best Jukebox 1972 Playlist, Late 1972 Non Stop , Top 1972 Non Stop, Mix 1972 Compilation, Best 1972 List, Late 1972 UK, Best 1972 Playlist, Best 1972 Non Stop, Best 1972 Video, Greatest 1972 Non Stop, Mix 1972 Playlist, Best Jukebox 1972 List, List of 1972 Mix, Top 1972 USA, Best Songs of 1972, Top Music 1972, Hits of 1972 Relate Hashtags: #songsof1972 #hitsof1972 #topsongs1972 #listof1972mix #hits1972 #bestsongs1972 #classic1972playlist #greatest1972nonstop #best1972list #best1972video #top1972mix #greatest1972video #mix1972playlist #top1972nonstop #mix1972compilation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Df5WNQ2sPBw

#80S Greatest Hits #Songs Of 1980S #Old Songs #80S Songs #80S Music Hits #80S Hits #80S Songs Playlist #Grea

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sussex-nature-lover · 2 years

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Sunday 15 May 2022

This Week in the Garden

I don’t think we’ve ever invested so much time in the garden and the more we do, the more we expose what’s still to be done. We’ve actually done nothing this weekend, mainly due to football (Yay: LFC) and the weather (Boo: wet and unpleasant today)

Earlier in the week I trimmed all the lower leaves from the palm trunks and it’s given a better view of the lower part of the garden. You see the very green tree on our left of Dad’s bench? well, we put that in as a weedy young sapling and now I measure up to just above the lowest leaves in the middle. I’m not even sure how tall I am these days, maybe 5′3 or 4″? We didn’t even know if this tree’d survive after a large part of the lower trunk came off the year before last, but here it is thriving and looking healthy.

Here’s the result of a project around the decking one morning. The hedge to our left and all the trees and bushes have dried everything out so much and the grass has died away. That’s why we call it The Corridor and, of course, because this strip of land goes in to the piece at the side of the house that connects with the front garden - it’s a route frequented all the time by blackbirds. We used about 200 litres of bark and three strips of 6′ long wooden edging and if nothing else, it’s smartened this patch up a fair bit for not a lot of work. Come Autumn there’s a lot of cutting back to do, but we’re pleased with it for now. Hope those blackbirds don’t flirt the bark away too much and that when we have sorted out the hedge and trees, the grass might start to come back next year.

I found this caterpillar on the Portuguese Laurel while we were working. It’s not that unusual but I’d never seen one before. The colour on my screen is pretty true to life. Enquiries via Twitter lead to an ID of the Copper Underwing moth. Scroll down that link for a photo.

An awful lot of time’s been spent emptying and clearing out ‘The Swamp’, although it’s been filling up again with all the rain showers, so that’ll have to be redone. I’ve got another liner on order and we’ll be out there as soon as it arrives and the weather’s half decent. At the moment we’ve settled on putting down more weed membrane and have 36′ of edging at the ready plus about 8 or 9 more bags of park for a path - not that that’ll go very far, we need another dozen or so bags at least, but, slowly, slowly it should become a more pleasant garden feature once more.

I thought I’d take some photos of the flowers that are coming into bloom, starting with this unusual lavender, which I’m very fond of and the white cistus, which is also a favourite.

The wisteria hasn’t had many flowers this year. I need to improve my pruning technique I think. But I have managed to protect the remaining freesias from Pritchard

I’ve brought the pot inside now so he can’t snip off their heads. I think I worked out that he’s really attracted to yellow. Last year he decapitated all the yellow dianthus, even when I moved them to the front porch and while we were working in the garden this week, I saw him eating buttercups.

We’ve still only had three lots of young birds visiting the garden - blackbirds, crows/rooks and starlings who are giving their parents a hard time

Hungry mouths to feed!

Indoors I’m still protecting my few seedlings, don’t laugh, I’m having a go.

Outside for some sunshine and back inside for safety

It’s mostly sunflower seeds, some mint and basil taken from cuttings and some mystery seeds. Who knows how they’ll fare.

By the way, I finally made the copper bowl watertight with a liner and got the solar fountain in the right position not to overshoot (unless it’s really windy) but haven’t yet found any bog loving or water marginal plants that I wanted, despite a visit to a local garden centre. Have to keep looking.

This lavender had been in a pot alongside another of the same variety, but they weren’t doing all that well, so I put it in the cleared bed and it was an immediate hit with the bees.

We’re doing our bit for nature and participating in No Mow May to a fair extent. Crow is leaving islands of long grass in the lawn and they’re full of cuckoo flower, speedwell, bugle and buttercups. The dandelions are popping up elsewhere too. And it’s good to see the initiative is spreading further afield. I’ll finish with this link to an article from the Good News Network and if you click on their news tab and the animal section, there’s a sweet story about sheep as a bonus read.

#garden nature birds flowers

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dumbasswhatever · 3 years

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Trucy: hey, um, Polly?

Apollo: yeah? Is something wrong?

Trucy, lip wobbling: not wrong, exactly, but can I- can I get your help with something?

Apollo: oh my god, Trucy, are you okay?

Trucy: I'm fine, I'm fine, but, um... *bursts into tears*

Apollo: wait! It's fine, Trucy, you're fine, I'll do whatever I need to help!

Trucy: just- just tell me, is my- is my...

Apollo: yes?

Trucy:... Is my fake crying realistic?

Apollo:

Apollo: *SHARP INHALE*

#ace attorney #apollo justice #trucy wright #wright anything agency hijinks #They are siblings your honor #Anyways so last time I gave a lil life update it made people happy so here I am again!#I went on another lil walk with my mom and it was nice!#A bit too hot bc it's Florida but the wind was nice #It was just down the street to get a soda but just that lil walk made me feel better #More like I'm actually living in the world #So anyways strongly recommend if you can muster it up. Going on a walk #I think this is gonna be a lil thing my mom and I do maybe once a week which is nice #She's glad to see me getting out of the house and exercising more and I'm glad to get some fresh air and a root beer #Anyways here's the most important part #I saw 36 bees on the way there!#There were a ton of clover flowers and man those bees liked them #They mostly stayed in the sun so I think they were trying to keep warm #Cold lil bees doing their best... :D bees are so cute I love em #Anyways I hope you're all having a nice day and you see a few bees as well #Gonna stop typing now before I reach tag limit

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libidomechanica · 5 months

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Two of four kids will always

A cinquain sequence

Two of four kids will always. Let us see. So in the dwarf would they stonde. So we false thee.

There is sunlight laughed them from behind, and, soon regained touch! Or heart renewed, their mourn; but ah!

Began to scorching beauty o’ersnow’d and eye’s delight, moonlight laugh. An’ she has twa sparkles!

Morn in this day; all is heard that are you—banded one? Just the steeds, with a stealthy tressed.

The head like Natures forth, since I saw you the tree among women? But longe assailled been.

What rowne ye with honors to his on your features freeze me out. Last Love, she repays my part.

And play. The topic die. Then she was he slumbering and small, the bridegroom at this their soule!

The business of gold; somme been spilt.—So on I move beyond the stored, to whom a hyacinths.

Was there is best. Say, maidenhood against which, done, must do: for was, and file the magistrate.

Ye fates! If I had done he put my arm in your soothing wind. His heart the neat lines of light.

Forgetful of vermilion: and the brink of it, er thou wouldst stay! Yet she had the gentle.

Do you knowest the stars of sunshine on the signified: the fabric of mi skirt, just so.

His bride. Of índulgence; so it was going? How happy maid, while ribboned watered will.

For perchance your elegant scars. The voice of loue, all imagin’d good, was the sacrifice.

Faith so weake? Or were not. She knew: her answered; this Courtesy; and I am not in vain?

I listened with some call and sting; nor please; he rode, he fence. Taken in by none had not wait.

From the kingdom and oft the dove, my undefiled. Wedded than Endymion, weep not so!

One part Doppelganger trying to the early to the future way to know. The blood agayn.

Too jealousy is cruelly wrong, my love was wedded bee; and their mournful sweetly, and won.

I told her alone. And I am not the girl and love, good nature’s chimes, its chimes, its glow.

Though fled is Seint Jerome, that cliff-road edged with sapphires. Spring bade the brook the galwes!

Impetuous lover freed his right were and the smart, but theirs alone, among cool clouds like men!

—Ah, me! Heed, namoore dorste nat wirche as much one day: they’re fools; he cheated by his glimmering.

Today when sweet? Leagues no other was Leave me gracing look of wikkednesse was al mankynde.

This is to pray. The ground her wrist, one instantly renew their hearts! Honeycomb with meanings.

The greater name upon his pain, and left the father is crying still. Or ran the eyes wente.

There his wyf, and his name did with flowers if that then? ’ She has twa sparkling roguish een.

May he whase arms so idly lain amongst them? Everyone knows too, and I must not the land!

With my dust, nor that I am talking. Gládly, sirės, sith I hadde me yeven al hir lyve.

Wants to the blessing fear: backward the stove in most terrifying. Upturns her marriage night.

Before harm than half- oblivion, the longer I go the ferthe. Thy cheek began to bark.

Thine head upon ech a syde. Dissolve the monstrous males that brings you out of his deaf moonlight?

Was leaping upon earth: their native East. Women who holds a dying in the gable-wall.

Shall alegge this were dead! Once more and silent, drawing nigh and low! Of his steed him in pearl.

Full fain juno’s proud heart, trembling, hidden fawn. The finger fit; loves and houndes, the heavens.

There is better returning tongue shall it praised her heart, I look. And all these things in wedlock.

I wol have, I nyl nat maad with flowers, and gladding green covert: there is best. Your silence.

Now, sire, quod he, and that is misunderstonde. Your features broke away, come her ankles.

A monkey had me yiven hir lord servyse. And ever, but in two his right naught, but ah!

Save the love is all decay. Left your from the Bow of Evil Fate but reach out for his crook.

One part a barbed hook, one part to another love more delit. Same and grief, posterity.

Heaven’ he added, lest some part! And all the early in thine owne fiers might with fierceness.

Yet hadde he me by the gal come out empty. False, ere I come, and made the same treachery!

And therwithal he knew, must be, to lose in gross, and she hath desire, with sides doth know.

Shall aid thy cradle; hither! In war: every grace, an’ she has twa sparkling roguish een.

When this’ she said I am aweary, I would not of. Go about to goe a shooting.

In the cheats, with weight. Of jubilee to Dian:- truth I heard that smiles, wan as primroses!

And when the middle of the soothsayers old saw yesterday? How tedious thrills from thee.

But Iphigene to womankind. And sweet life, though rough briar nor muffling the cold sward.

All the men of myrrh, upon the chapel opens, where anguish. Thou swan of Ganges and shakes.

How bragly it bears—this knoweth every womman kan. Of giants living waves fold thunder.

He, whole world that I well believes in. A Richard, and the year. And Paris changing the lid.

Her tears have gone to sufferer begins to burn out her hand she brought me. The native land!

His banner over-fond: so, to prechyng eek, and fast, saw’st thou mayst delight. A common grow.

What worst all beauty will sever. Her form withdrew the drunken squardon flies, they bothe his yen.

The smart may pitie claim no more beautiful. You of the sun, where you sick, it’s true—I still them.

No harm! Somewhat unusual luck! It was vpon a holiday, then the moon-tints of the mud.

If all the sorrow and pains, and adore. Not prizing her eyes I used to run away, oh!

Do so. For Mercy, Pity, Peace. But grind the shore, with zebras striped, and his western bower.

There is such yoke of wo that no wight, from base desire, close up its blood I staunch, and joined.

Up which sometime may be seen, with all corroding arts, be able to untie! I call God!

I bake. And hasten to tame the other, the angels, muse, to speed. No stream with banishment.

My love of course, the land: betwixt mine is their smart: and if she successors. A little stars.

Ne I wolde, as thought of a pomegranates budded. Now elles, Frere, I nam nat I.

That may expres of light by light, to make a morow? Shock of beach housbondes at distance.

The Blessed. Her undinal vast belly moonward ran the daughter of bliss, dearest tie of you.

Here, here at the warm delight is dreary, had reach’d him. Maybe he replied: No! A not torn.

Nothing to thee! Whither hand shoulder quite literally is like a thread of scarlet gytes.

There arms thy love, let me know bedbugs? And yet’ I said, The night: on spleen to tame the thunders!

Or why sholde nat han daunted. When they’re nothyng of my mother clutched the Maker’s image see.

I charge the smell of Lebanon: look from Gilead. Or to weave with no one to cry for, love.

Sire in the earth forget. Until drown’d beyond my days can ne’er renew it; but you may!

Fro hous to hous, although neuer slake, and oak leaves are shadow of a tree. That I were dead!

She said; she saw the gal come out to go out. Go with erring pride, and to this piracy.

Reads verse and spread their heart the sword and even her kind. If all they bear of consequences.

How long way home? Light, these both leant to be and no sooner but one resign in mine eyes.

Or death, speech was but slip and bleed. But when I though that sings on Cessnock banks unseen, alone.

Your eyes in swich daliance, she yaf hym swich estaat as God lust yive it to the rest complied.

For a word that your change to changes for the two of them. And will ever call me Papa.

To speak these: nothing as warriors come, and stalls in ev’ry grace, and eek mateere. Back to me.

Whining, rearranging there life’s dearest bands untwining? And to thus: yet will best exceeds?

Stand the motionless? She seems to pierce for both that I hadde, as they survey; and in his sleeve!

Quick was the sea for? While you discourage droop, despaire at me down thy rosy shadow sway.

Labyrinth now grows. On such wild scattering Pyes, do louers case, I reade it for youre praktike.

A crown to blind in a lofty Pile, and wit he fountain-sides at charge you, my sunny fields.

Restored it was still my flessh so deep forth my tale. In shadow in the darkness and aspire.

Thy presence; as a swallows’ call? I am in love and pleasure by the rest of the oar!

Lives in the galleries. Yes, call me no answer us today as I were deed tomorwe!

Her long been; but for to touch they had learned no more! Where and this is my well-beloved!

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 7 #186 texts #cinquain sequence

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extremelyblackandwhite · 2 years

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you’re better when you’re quiet | c. beck

pairing: chris beck x microbiologist!reader

warnings: enemies to lovers, smut (18+), thigh riding, age gap (chris is 36, reader is 25)

- Why is she going?

Chris mumbled and huffed to himself as he noticed a new name on his mission debriefing. He could think of a hundred more people who he’d rather have on a spaceship in close courters, yet out of a hundred very well qualified scientists at NASA, her name had somehow been the one picked out of a hat in some twisted case of luck.

- We need an on board scientist to look for any traces of life in Mars. - Melissa replied, unbothered by his apparent disgust.

- I can look for that, I have a masters in ...

- And she has a masters and a PhD, Chris. - Melissa interrupted him once again so casually unbothered by the rivalry her newest member and Chris shared. - She’s more than qualified and a fantastic microbiologist so I suggest whatever grievances you have with her get solved before we leave.

He buried his back against the chair, boringly listening to the debrief about the upcoming mission. Yet, all he could think about was the fact that she, out of all people at NASA, was the one to accompany them. The team had known each other, had worked with each other and had gone to space several times; something she could not say she had. She being the newest and probably the best addition to the microbiology department team at NASA as well as the youngest. She had gone straight from finishing her PhD at Harvard to an associate position within a highly regarded team and had quickly made herself an indispensable part of the team. She had made herself such an important member of the program, they had allowed her to conduct her own team to look at spacial effects on various microbes found in her the body. She was, on paper, the best member to add to the Ares team. The only problem? She didn’t particularly care for him. She was polite like every employee was but the more he tried to make her like him, the worse she did. They would bicker about everything from what schools they’d gone to, to Chris complaining that she wasn’t even the same type of doctor he was, which in truth she wasn’t. However, she could always outsmart him or would just shut the door on him, ignoring him for the rest of the day.

Truth be told, he couldn’t imagine spending months confined in a spaceship with her in the same laboratory as him. Specially when she wasn’t particularly found of his laboratory practices. Nevertheless, she was going and the whole team loved her. If only they know how annoying she could be. Luckily for him, he wasn’t the one giving her the induction, that job would fall to Beth who she preferred over him. He barely saw her during that time, perhaps a few flashes of her until she was with the team aboard the spaceship.

- Did she leave already? - Chris took his favourite seat, hiding half his chin in his grey NASA hoodie.

- Melissa is showing her around. - Beth sat across him. - Don’t worry, she’ll be back.

- Not worried.

- Sure. - she prolonged the word, smiling like a silly child. - Play nice.

- And this way you’re back to the common area. - Melissa walked back with Y/N, pointing generally towards the area where Chris and Beth were. - We have daily briefings here and sometimes we have meals together. You’re welcome to join.

- Thank you, Melissa.

- Any questions? - she leaned against a free chair.

- You haven’t shown me where my sleeping quarters are.

- You’re with Beck. - Chris looked up from his book once he heard his name.

- Nice joke.

- It’s not a joke, Beck. She’s with you, its near the lab if any of you need to use it. Besides, you were the one with the free bunk. - she turned around to seat on the chair. - Can you please show Y/N to her quarters?

He dropped his book on the table, raising from the chair as if he were back on Earth before making a bee line towards his and now her quarters. She followed behind him, a small smirk on her lips as she realised she had just made his life a little bit more complicated. Sure, sharing her sleeping quarters with Dr. Beck wasn’t what she was expecting, but she was grown up enough to deal with it. Heck, she’d lived with a guy during a few years of university and one of her past flatmates had almost caused a rat infestation. What was the worse that could happen by sharing a room with Chris? After all, he had the neatest office in the whole second floor. However, he also had the fantastic talent of getting on her nerves. Nevertheless, she was a professional.

- You open the pad with your hand. - he mumbled as he opened it himself, the white door sliding to the left. - And this is pretty much the quarters. We get a window which is pretty cool.

- Which bed are you?

- Bottom one. - he pointed towards his bag on the bed.

- That’s not fair.

- What do you mean?

- Everybody knows the bottom bunk is much safer than the top one. Besides, if I want to go to the bathroom, I have to climb down stairs in the middle of the night?

- Would you rather have me fall on you?

She went silent, agreeing with him without really saying so; yet as her bag hit the top bunk, he happily realised he had won this argument. Probably the only time for the rest of their time together. She settled herself before walking to the laboratory. She was always happier there, happier with her research. She didn’t have much to do, other than prepare some culture mediums and clean some material. Chris himself was busy looking through what material he’d been given on his little separate office. He could see her from the see through glass separating the two, her hair roughly pulled up as she wrote some notes and labels with her pale blue glitter pen.

He didn’t notice she’d stayed there for most of the day until he came back from his meal and noticed she was still labelling a wide variety of flasks and bottles as if time hadn’t passed. He sighed, exiting his office to enter her laboratory.

- You better be wearing a lab coat, Beck. - she spoke without looking up from her work.

- You need to go to bed, Y/N.

- It’s Dr. Y/N. - she looked up at him. - Besides, my lab has a strict no Yale graduates rule.

- I won the Norma Bailey Berniker Prize.

- A piece of information no one asked for. - she replied, unbothered by the achievement.

- I was a Captain on the Air Force Reserves.

- Wow, I’m so impressed. - she rolled her eyes, taking her goggles and putting them to the side. - Are you gonna lock the room if I don’t go?

- I’m tempted.

She faked a smile, walking around her prep balcony to the hangers so she could take her lab coat off before going past him and towards the quarters. She stared at the bunk as Chris grabbed his bag to change in the bathroom. It dawned on her that she was in space, she was gonna sleep in space and not in her own bed. She climbed the stairs up to her bunk and stared out the window, to the darkness, she was nowhere and everywhere at both times. However, she couldn’t sleep. Chris was fast asleep the moment he laid down but she was wide awake, considering all the ways she could violently die. It wasn’t very hard, after all humans weren’t designed to be in space.

- Stop moving. - Chris groaned from under her as she turned around in her bed once more.

- I can’t. - she climbed down the bunker. - Do you know what deep space travel does to the skeletal muscles?

- Yeah, Y/N. I wrote several papers on it.

- I know and I read them all and now I can’t sleep. - she leaned against the wall opposite the bunk bed.

- You read something I wrote?

- Don’t get cocky, I found five typos in one publication alone.

- You’re not gonna die. - he pulled his covers from him, rubbing the sleep off his eyes. - That would be too lucky for me.

She rolled her eyes, placing her hand on the pad by the door which slide open as she did. She padded the half lit room, watching the big windows and the darkness of the sky. There was no one in the common room, everyone was back in their quarters, soundly sleeping. After all, they had each gone on various missions before this but she was new. This was her first mission and there was no one she could change insecurities about.

- Y/N, come back to bed. - Chris whispered-yelled from the other side of the common room. - You won’t die.

- Yes but my muscles will atrophy.

- Let’s go. - he walked up to her, grabbing her hand and walking her back to the quarters. - You will be fine. If you suffer any problem, I’m a doctor and there’s nothing I can’t fix.

- That is not comforting.

- No one has ever died on my hands.

- Yet ... - she climbed back to her bunk.

For a long time, she was quiet, still enough Chris believed she had fallen back to sleep or was silently plotting on how to murder him. Whatever choice she had picked, it meant he could go to sleep. However, as his body was starting to get lighter, she turned again on her mattress. He grunted to himself, getting up from his bunk and climbing a few steps up the ladder which led to hers. He wrapped him arms around her, pulling her into his mattress.

- What are you doing?

- Go to sleep. - he wrapped his arms around her, burying her face in his hoodie covered chest.

The wasn’t sunlight to wake them up, at least not like on Earth. The sun didn’t come shining from the window, illuminating small pecks of dust in the air which fell like first falls of snow. Here, it was methodical, day and night were calculated times and she wondered if they were even following regular Earth hour patterns. She woke up with the small buzz of the alarm clock, coming to the realisation of whom she’d fallen asleep with. He had too awaken up but none of them had decided to quit the situation they were in.

- Are you comfortable there?

- This is merely situational. Besides you snore. - she got up from the bed, gathering her hair away from her face.

- I do not snore.

She gave him that smile he hated to get from her, that smile which meant ‘I’m hearing but not agreeing’. He’d gotten used to seeing it ever since she started and it still lit his fuse on fire whenever she used it. As expected, she had not joined the team for breakfast, instead choosing to work. He wasn’t surprised, he was never surprised at that. She was and is a workaholic, she didn’t got where she was by pure luck. He’d heard from some of his Harvard friends that she was just like that in school as well. After all, he guessed she wasn’t this smart by chance. He’d quickly learned there were no chances and he guessed that applied to her.

The day to day was pretty much the same, with her ending up on his bed for most evenings, at least the ones she spent in the lab. There was their usual banter, her little side remarks about Yale and him poking at her as well. It had its fun, he had to admit. But other than that, he didn’t saw her very much. She would go to Watney most of the times whenever she needed help with her tasks or would offer to help everyone if they needed anything whenever she was done with her work. Which was why he was surprised when she walked in his office.

- Hi Chris.

- If it isn’t Dr. Y/N in my office. - he smiled dopily, leaning against his chair.

- Shut it, I’m not here of my own volition. - she crossed her arms. - I’m not feeling well and Melissa said I should check with you.

- What’s wrong? - he got up from his chair. That was something she had to give to him, all joking and rambling aside he did know how to switch from that to a very professional individual.

He pushed the chair on the other side of his desk towards her, allowing her to seat before he leaned against his desk.

- I don’t know. I don’t feel well.

- Can you describe it to me?

- I’m dizzy and I keep getting light headed all the time.

- I know you’re gonna hate this question but perhaps you should have more than one meal a day.

- I do not.

- You’re always in the lab, you never leave and I know you don’t eat there. I’m afraid you need to eat.

- That’s shit advice. - she crossed her arms. - I have work to do.

- I’ll help you and then we can both have dinner with the rest of the team.

- I don’t trust Yale graduates in my laboratory.

- I’ll tell Melissa on you.

- Fine, you can help.

He followed her to her own little laboratory which was an organised mess. Yet again, he wasn’t very common with microbiology laboratories. After all, it had been one of his least favourite modules back at university but if Melissa, a computer graduate, could do so, then so could he. He took one of the free lab coats, following her into a little bench where she had a nice stack of microscope slides all stained in shades of pink and purple.

- Do you know about Gram staining?

- I am not stupid.

- That’s not what I asked. - she said while examining one of her petri dishes with a surgeon like eye. - There’s 50 slides, can you determine if they’re positive or negative?

- Is this what you do all day?

- Well, since you’re the one who jerks off all day, I have to have a different hobby.

She had organised notes with way too much attention and he wondered how she could do that all the time. He guessed she was just too good at what she did and really enjoyed it cause after the 20th slide, he was starting to think about opening the door and just die in space. Chris eventually did finish it and dragged her to have lunch with the team and then back to their quarters. She was on her pyjamas, reading a book in her bunk, once he came back from the bathroom.

- What are you doing up there? - he pipped up.

- What do you mean?

- We both know you’re gonna sleep in my bunk so why be there?

- Dr. Beck, I suggest you get a cuddle pillow if you get lonely. - she closed her book before going down the stairs and getting into his bed. - Because one day I will sleep by myself.

- You talk too much. - he replied, getting in bed once again.

- Maybe you talked more you would’ve gotten into Harvard.

- I didn’t want to go to Harvard.

- Is it because your little Connecticut WASP self refused to go somewhere where people don’t sail and golf every day?

- You talk to much for a medicine school reject.

- I have a PhD which is one more degree than you can account for yourself.

- How does it feel to be a doctor of science?

- How does it feel to be the second choice of a biologist after Mark? - she turned to him, that trademark smirk of hers appearing. - Honestly, we should leave you in Mars.

- Do you ever shut up?

- No. - she was defiant. He was trained to keep his cool, he was very good at it but she got on his best nerves, and this time ... this time she won.

He grabbed her face and kissed her, not really understanding what he was doing. She was silent, mostly dumbfounded at his actions. He stopped once he realised she could definitely make his life here a living hell. They both stared dumb founded at each other before she kissed him back, her hands at the nape of his neck and the two fell against the pillows in the bed. Her leg hooked over his hip, his hand holding her upper thigh against him as they kissed like long time lovers. After all, hate is the opposite of love.

Her clothed core was dangerously close to his crotch, moving ever slowly yet enough to get him hard at it. He looked down at himself before looking back at her.

- We shouldn’t do this ... its against rules.

- Well ... - her hand ghosted over his crotch. - I could always ride your thigh.

- You’re dangerously threading on becoming my dream women.

She laughed to herself before kissing him once again. Her leg hooked over his leg and started to ride his thigh. She started slowly, keeping her moans to herself as he nibbled on her lip and neck. Last thing she wanted was for any team member to come check on them. Nevertheless, her moves were painfully slow and he could almost feel her core against him, going up and down the thin fabric of his pyjama pants. A shot of electricity rushed up her body as he held her hips, forcing her to move faster.

- Don’t make any noise, you stubborn girl. - he whispered against her ear.

- Shut it. - she forcefully closed her eyes, the friction between her core and his thigh increasing as she went faster and faster.

A moan held up on her throat, his hand moving to her face, keeping her from making any noises; however, he’d have to find a way to explain why his trousers were suddenly sticky. She looked up at him, his hand still covering her mouth.

- I like you when you’re quiet.

- Shut it. - she playfully bit his hand.

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