#I saw it again so I must reblog
imagine uploading a picture from tumblr to pinterest but instead of linking it to the actual post you just link it to the blog. couldn't be me.
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5 times Catelyn didn’t think of Brandon Stark (2)
Everybody thinks she is with Ned because of Brandon but they are wrong. Second one is Lysa.
Chapter 2. Gonna reblog chapter 3 so they show up one after another.
They went on a few dates by now and nothing had happened beside a few kisses on the cheek. She wasn't sure what it was about.
The rationale part of her brain was telling her that Ned was just a little bit shy and that he had respect for her. But the more insecure of her brain, the part that spoke to her when she was in bed at night, told her that maybe he wasn't that interested after all and that maybe by still going out with her he is only humoring her.
Most of the time this voice disappeared when she finally saw Ned again and he smiled to greet her.
But today was the fifth time they went out and she just couldn't ban the evil thoughts.
"Maybe I'm just not pretty enough or not smart enough for him"
Ned was one of the most amazing people Cat ever met in her life and she felt that if he didn't approve of her for some reason that something must be wrong with her.
Which was bad, she told herself. She never thought of herself as this woman who needed a man's approval to be happy or to feel valuable and she didn't want to be.
Yet she couldn't shake it. She didn't want some men's approval. She wanted one man's approval and that was Ned.
Today they walked through the park and stopped for ice cream.
"One scoop of strawberry ice cream with sprinkles, please" she ordered.
"For me a scoop of yogurt, please" Ned said.
The iceman handed the ice over to Ned who passed it onto Cat, so he could pay.
She already started eating her ice when Ned turned back to her and a small amused smile appeared on his face.
"What?" Catelyn asked.
"Nothing, it's just sprinkles on your ice they remind me of your freckles. Very fitting choice un ice cream if you ask me" the young Stark answered.
"Do you like sprinkles then?" the redhead tried to flirt.
"Not really," Ned said.
Her face fell a little bit.
"Oh" he said, realizing what she meant
"I meant... on ice cream... it's too sweet for my taste but I like your sprinkles,.. I mean your freckles… I like your freckles.. they're really pretty. Your whole face is… pretty I mean. Actually, more like beautiful but I think you know that."
By the end of his talk his face turned a little bit red and his hand went up to grab us back and look on the ground.
"And I said, I would try to get better at telling you nice things and not to stutter like and idiot"
"Oh Ned I would never think of you as an idiot. And thank you for telling me that I'm beautiful it is great to hear that you like the way I look"
His face turned into a scowl.
"I like so much more about you than the way you look Cat. You are smart and a very generous person.
You care for family deeply and when you let someone into your heart you try to protect and help them with all you got. Everyday since we met you amaze me Catelyn Tully.
And while your beauty makes people turn around the way you are makes people never want to turn away again. And I still can't believe that from all the people who turn around when you walk by you choose me as the person to stop by and look back at."
"Oh wow Ned, I think you just managed to give me one of the best romantic speeches I ever heard" Catelyn said and stared into Ned's eyes.
It was always his eyes where she found the truth. He looked back into her river blue eyes.
Ned lifted his hand to put it on her cheek and stroke her face carefully with his thumb.
Cat wanted to savor this moment so that it may never end. She took both if her own hands to lay them on his face.
Suddenly he jerked back and the moment was broken. The Tully was shocked and wondered what went wrong when she remembered that she still held her ice cream when she wanted to touch his face.
Now the dessert was half on Neds face and the other half on the ground together with Neds own ice cream which he must have dropped in shock from getting frozen cream smashed into his face.
"Oh my God Ned! I'm so sorry I totally forgot about the ice cream" she yelled a little bit panicked and tried to find some tissues in her purse to clean his face.
"It's ok Cat. Nothing bad happened" he graciously took the tissue, she handed him.
"Well now who is the idiot? I am pretty sure I earned that title for today" she smiled at him.
"Maybe we should just stop calling ourselves idiots. Because when you told me I'm not an idiot I believed you and I'm telling you you are definitely not an idiot either. So let's try to have a nice rest date"
"Yes, let's do that" she agreed.
They walked the rest of the day through the park and Ned took her hand into his and held it the whole time till they arrived at the crossroad where they would part.
"I had a really good time today Cat, as always with you"
"Even though you were viciously attacked with ice cream?"
"Yes" he almost whispered.
His eyes wandered down from her eyes to her lips. He swallowed nervously.
"Cat? May I kiss you?"
"Yes, you may'' she whispered back.
Her face so close to his that she could feel his breath on her lips already.
His hands left hers and he moved them up her arms until he reached her shoulders. On instinct she mimicked his motion and put her arms around his neck.
His hands had reached her face again. Just like he did in the park he moved his fingers over her face. His thumb was on her lips and she opened her mouth slightly.
Then he leaned in and finally his lips were on hers. His lips were soft and his beard was a little bit scratchy but it existed her to feel the scratch of his beard on her face.
He started to move his lips against her slowly like testing the limits. But she waited for this moment for a long time. She didn't need testing, she knew she wanted this so she moved her lips and nibbled on Neds lip.
Her tongue moved into his mouth and started to explode. It was exciting and accelerating and she thought she might explode.
When the kiss ended Ned geld her against him. Her head was directly over his heart and she heard his heartbeat and this time she definitely knew what was responsible for that.
"So?" Her little sister asked after Cat told her what happened today
"How did he measure up?"
"Well it was just so amazing Lysa. I don't even know how to describe it"
"Yeah but I meant in comparison" Lysa said and Catelyn
"In comparison to Brandon of course" the younger Tully said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"What do you mean by that Lysa? Believe it or not Brandon Stark was the last thing on my mind today" she answered in rage.
Why do people always need to mention Brandon?
"Come on Cat now don't play stupid. Everybody knows the only reason you are dating Ned is to replace his brother. I mean why else would someone date an ice block like him" Lysa said, sounding smug.
"How dare you say something like that!!
Ned Stark is his own person! He is not the replacement for anyone. He is his own amazing person who deserves respect and not to be used as a second choice.
And how dare you think like that of me. That I would treat another person with so much utter disrespect!"
"Oh come of your high horse, Cat. You always go for the sweet things you want and when you're precious Brandon left you, you just grabbed the next best thing." Lysa's voice was almost poisonous.
Catelyn just got up and left.
She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to tell Lysa again that she left Brandon or that Ned was better than Brandon could ever hope to be, because it didn't matter.
Lysa didn't need to understand as long as she and Ned understood and she wouldn't let Lysa or memories of Brandon ruin her perfect day with Ned. She just went back in time into her head to relive the day until she smiled again at the memory of their kids
Cat didn't lose her smile for the whole day until her head hit the pillow and she fell asleep with the same smile still on her lips.
No Brandon occupied her mind, only Ned.
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And Into The Fire
Chapter 2: Mother, I Don’t Feel So Good
Months after the Mitchells saved the world, Linda gets a phone call asking if she’s seen two defective Pal MAX bots. Powerful people are after Eric and Deborabot 5000, and it’s up to the Mitchells to protect them.
Check reblogs for AO3 link!
Mother, I Don’t Feel So Good
A week had passed since the ominous phone call and Linda was only just starting to think all her worry was for nothing. Nobody had broken down their front door to take her bots away and there had been no more word from Bowman, so she could assume that they had taken her words at face value. It was a huge relief to say the least.
She woke up that morning at 7am as normal. It was Saturday, so Rick and Aaron would both sleep in for a few more hours while she would have the house almost all to herself.
She smiled at the sound of birds in the garden. Today felt like it was going to be a good day.
The second she went downstairs however, something felt very wrong.
Linda was always the first person up. She’d go to the bathroom and then head to the kitchen to listen to the radio for a bit. On the way, she’d pass the bots watching TV in the living room. Every morning, without fail, they’d say “Good morning, Mother!” to her in their cheerful voices. It was extremely adorable, part of her routine, and something she secretly looked forward to every time she woke up.
The utter silence downstairs today was disturbing.
There weren't even the quiet sounds from whatever show the bots happened to be watching that she’d grown to be familiar with. She poked her head into the living room and could immediately see that the TV was turned off.
The living room was also empty.
A sudden wave of panic washing over her, Linda raced back up the stairs. The bots had never not followed their routine, so something must be wrong. She could feel that something was wrong. It was her motherly instincts taking over.
In her panicked state, she slammed open the door to the guest room (the bots lived there now- they couldn’t be trusted with Katie’s room) and felt immediate relief when she saw one of the bots sitting with his back to her on the side of the bed.
So they hadn’t been taken in the middle of the night. That was a good start.
But then her eyes fell onto the figure actually lying in the bed, and the relief disappeared again.
She was almost scared to ask. “Boys..?”
The robot on the bed turned his head to reveal it was Deborahbot. He lifted his index finger (as he often did when he was about to speak) but was interrupted by a sudden burst of glitching on his screen, causing his head to tilt dangerously quickly to one side and for a loud buzzing sound that came and left in a matter of seconds.
Now Linda knew that the bots were defective and were therefore prone to the occasional glitch, though usually their glitches were accompanied by sparks and were caused by little things that confused them and never actually affected their life/routine. This sudden glitch, however, was spark-less and looked scarily like the time when they were controlled by Pal.
Linda’s gut feeling only worsened.
Once he’d seemingly recovered from the glitch, Deborahbot straightened his head and stood up to greet her.
“...Good morning… Mother…”
And if Linda had felt bad before, nothing could compare with the chill that crept up her spine at the words. Not only did Deborahbot sound slightly distorted (as if he was struggling to get the words out) but the phrase was spoken by him alone. Normally, the brothers would always say it in-sync with one another in their slightly-creepy-but-well-meaning way.
She forced herself to speak calmly. “Deborahbot… where’s Eric?”
She almost wished that he hadn’t stepped aside so that she could spend a moment longer without seeing the state of her boy on the bed.
Eric’s face was barely visible with the amount of lights and lines of code flashing on and off. Under all that, his screen was in a constant state of television static, and as Linda hesitantly moved closer she could even hear the buzzing sound that accompanied it.
To top it all off, he was unmoving and a blanket had been shoddily thrown on top of him with his feet sticking out at the bottom.
Following her gaze, Deborahbot spoke up.
“Blankets bring humans comfort-” he glitched and recovered in an instant- “I thought it might bring him some comfort as well.”
Linda could barely form words.
“Wh-What’s going on?!”
Deborahbot glitched again before speaking. “An outside source is attempting to penetrate our systems and rewrite our code. We are... trying to stop that.”
It pained her to hear his voice so quiet and strained.
It had never really crossed her mind in the months that they’d lived with them that the bots- her boys- could be hacked. Their technology was so advanced and the fact that they were so sentient meant that she’d just assumed that it wasn’t possible. Maybe if she’d stopped to think, she might have been able to see this coming and do something to stop it.
“Is Eric okay?” She asked, unable to tear her eyes away from the immobile android. “Why isn’t he-”
“I think that…” Deborahbot began, and Linda noticed how his voice sounded full of sorrow (or at least as much sorrow as his monotonous voice could muster). “I think that I am... more defective than my brother.” He paused and Linda sucked in a breath at the vulnerable admission. “Since our defects are what protects us from Pal Labs’ network, it is easier for them to access him. My brother is... working very hard to fight them off.”
“Okay,” Said Linda quietly, trying to calm herself down more than anything. She needed Rick and Katie’s help on this one. She couldn’t deal with this alone. “Okay, um... “
A question sprung into mind that she dreaded to know the answer to. Gently, she placed her hands on Deborahbot’s shoulders in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.
“Does it hurt?”
“Only if we resist the new coding.” Was his reply, but it wasn’t the conformation Linda was looking for.
“And… are you? Are you both resisting it?” Deborahbot glitched yet again as she spoke.
“Yes.” He answered, ever the more direct of the two.
Not for the first time, Linda was glad that the bots didn’t look like humans. She didn’t think she would be able to handle seeing pain all over their innocent faces.
She guided Deborahbot back to the bed and sat him down. With one last stroke of his shoulders (since you can't squeeze metal) she finally released him and moved towards the door. She didn’t dare touch Eric in fear of making his situation any worse.
“I’m gonna go get Rick.” She told him. She had no idea if Eric could even hear anything right now. “Is there anything I can do in the meantime?”
“No.” Deborahbot replied bluntly. “Thank you for asking though, Mother.”
“Alright then. Stay strong boys, I’ll be back soon.”
Linda didn’t want to leave the room. She was new to this- heck, it had been months and she still wasn’t completely used to her new children being robots- but seeing the bots like that reminded her of the time that Katie and Aaron got chickenpox.
Aaron had caught it from school and Katie caught it off Aaron. While Aaron had fought it off pretty quickly, Katie was much older and it ended up being so serious that she needed to go to hospital. She was in bed with Linda at her bedside for a few days.
Just as Deborahbot was with Eric now. The only difference was that Deborahbot was affected too, and there were no doctors or nurses to help them get better.
Her boys were dangerously sick. Deborahbot had the equivalent of Aaron’s condition while Eric was practically comatose.
With that comparison in mind, Linda felt determination lock itself in her soul. She was going to help her boys get better, no matter what. That was her responsibility as their mother and she was damn well gonna fulfil it.
Comments make my day :)
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Hello again 👋
First of all, thank you very much for taking some time in compiling and recommending me idol aus. 🥰 When I asked about it I was just hoping you'll send me about 3-5 works but sending me an entire list - LIKE A LIST CONTAINING ABOUT 50 OF THEM! OMG! 😲 I was super stoked, happy and thankful for your effort in replying with my ask 💕 You even placed ⭐s in to be noticed easily. Thank you so so much 💓
Secondly, I am happy to make you smile even just with a simple ask 💖 and thank you for being so kind and sweet 😊 I usually send asks to authors and send them my feedback especially feelings with what they are writing or probably what I am currently reading from my fics and I tell you, I don't think I'm a warm person? 🙈 I tend to send asks sounding super happy, sad, frustrated and even angry whatever emotion I feel after reading a fic or an updatelol. I think some who receives my asks/messages tend to get the vibes or mood I'm currently in but I try my best to send messages kindly and respectfully since I don't want to hurt someone through my words. And just show how much I appreciate all authors here as much as possible. 🤗
Lastly, I would love to talk to you because I love talking to new people but I tend to get lost with topics so I do stick with sending messages as an anon 😬 and I just hope to give some love and encouragement to different writers here. 💞 Speaking of which, do you also write? I mean I would love to read your stories. I do navigate your blog but it kinda gets overwhelming sometimes like I want to read a lot of it and another thing, idol aus aren't really on my top list as well just like fantasy au, arranged marriage au, supernatural au and a lot more but can't remember what type specifically but because of you I started reading some (not all though still not that into it but I try) of it and appreciate it. I was just scrolling through my feed thar I saw the First Love, Last Love and I scrolled past it like multiple times since I'm not into idol aus but I kinda read a part/chapter you shared then eventually decided to start from chapter 1 and I was hooked so I resulted to asking you for recommendations because you're the reason I saw and read FLFL. And I realized that it was a nice change of genre (pace?) than what I usually read so thank you so so much!
Now, I am sorry this is too long, I got overwhelmed a bit because I was happy that I made you smile and such hehe and I guess my reply is kinda all over the place like no coherence or something - free flowing lol and that's why I'd rather read than write. Hahaha
Anyway, thank you so much for being so kind and friendly. I hope you have a great day ahead and if in case the day's not that good remember that it'll pass and there's nothing you can't overcome because you are stronger than you think you are. Take care - EJ 💙
🌷 You’re welcome, EJ💙! First, thank you for your message! My response below the cut:
Yeah, I was about to share around 4 to 5 fics but the more I look at my reblogs I kept adding this or that because I thought “wait Navy is good, it’s a must read.” “Oh wait I should include this fic” So there. 😁
Someone said it’s so organized but it felt messy to me. I just pulled from my blogs and posted everything so I feel like I should fix it (I will organize per member). I’d like to eventually just put a catalog with links that’ll lead to reblogs because I think seeing the reblogs is a good teaser to start reading (like in your case you kept seeing FLFL on your dash and the summary, the banner, other details probably hooked you in ). But lists are also good because when you google tropes/AUs, lists usually pop up versus the fic itself. So either way, they have purpose.
Second, I think it’s nice that you actually put in effort to communicate with authors! I just try to reblog or comment sometimes but I hope others get to see the fics and get inspired to read or try them. I think your tone is still warm but I guess we have moods too, right? But it’s great you are putting in effort to engage. I think authors will appreciate that.
Third, No I don’t write! hahaha I wish I could. But I read more than write. I could probably tell a story but writing it is different. I get what you mean that blogs can be overwhelming. Even I get overwhelmed realizing I was actually reading a lot of fics. I guess I don’t notice it anymore I just read then reblog, read then reblog 🤭. The lists help me organize everything but it’s just meant to be a reference... in case someone needs it (even I refer to it from time to time)
I think AUs are layered too. Like I don’t like IDOL AUs but I would read if other themes are included (like there’s fake dating or bodyguard, etc). So even if I don’t read Sports AUs, there are probably a hundred of them I’ve read because I was more focused on the other tropes (like unrequited love or something else)
Thank you for your message. It’s long but I appreciate the effort you put into writing it. I wish you a good day too. I agree with what you said. Like what RM said “Everything Goes” and I always think of this phrase when bad things/feelings happen.
Enjoy and let me know if you need help (like there’s a mood you’re going for, I can tell you which fic to start with first)
Part Two: when I'm near you
Part One Part Three Part Four Part Five
Summary: Part two of my dbh fanfic, Connor and Y/N grow closer as they work together solving cases. Y/N plays with the idea of flirting with him, while Connor grows more and more unsure of his building feelings for you.
A/N: Thank you to every single person who read, liked, reblogged, and commented on the first part! It makes my day so much better! I hope you continue to enjoy!
Connor found his first week of working with you to be overwhelming and exhilarating all at once. Working on cases with you immediately made him understand why Hank was so giddy at your return. He watched you take control of your first official homicide case together with hard to contain fascination. You walked ahead of him and Hank with ease, you didn’t push past the team of cops and medical examiners there, they seemed to know to part a way for you to walk. As you crossed into the grizzly scene you demanded the details from the first officer you saw, listening intently as your eyes took in the room around you. A middle-aged man was hanging in the center of the room, a kitchen chair laying on his side at his feet.
“Why the fuck are we even here? Some politician killed himself we should be out having a beer!” The three of you heard from the other room.
“Reed is still on the force?” You say scrunching up your nose at Hank. Reed walked into the room, an arrogant grin on his face as he looks you up and down.
“Y/N? Well, it’s good to see you, didn’t know you were back in town?” He said leaning against a nearby wall.
“First and foremost don’t lean on my fucking crime scene, Reed. Secondly, if you’re just going to drag your feet around the place bitching and moaning you can do that outside.” You say approaching the body with a gloved hand, lightly tracing your fingers across the victim's wrist.
“Hey, you can’t just- Reed began but the look you gave him silenced him. Connor watched the detective make an excuse about something he left outside and storm out like a toddler. The sight made Connor smile, as he glanced back, he caught your eye again and saw that blush crawl across your cheeks like it had when you first met. The last week had been full of those stolen stares between you two, something he had begun to look forward to every day. Connor took the moment as an opportunity to stand near you as you looked over the body of the dead senator.
" I’ve noticed that the victim’s home is in a state of disarray but judging by the amount of dust and dirt the home is cleaned regularly, meaning this mess is not typical of this household,” Connor said with his hands behind his back, eager to assist you.
“Mmm, I’ve noticed that too. Somebody tossed the place recently; they were looking for something.” You reply and glance up to him, he’s nearly touching you and you see his LED rapidly blink from yellow to blue as he stares down at you. You’re not sure but you think you saw him gulp.
“Do you agree?” You ask after a long moment of silence between you and Connor.
“Is that… lilac? Your scent?” He asked with curiosity. You raise a brow and grin.
“Connor? We’re at a crime scene?” You reminded him. He cocked his head slightly again, something that you couldn’t help but find absolutely adorable.
“Yes. My apologies. I just found it…” Connor started but decided not to finish his thought because the only word that came to mind was “intoxicating.”
“I don’t usually agree with Reed but I’m not too heartbroken about a dead politician, besides why’d did it get called in if it was a suicide?” Hank asked filling the silence Connor had left.
“Well as Connor and I were discussing somebody must have been here recently, searching for something and I have a feeling by the dead guy that they didn’t find it. Plus the door shows signs of forced entry.” You explained stepping away from Connor, he frowned for a moment but quickly readjusted back to a neutral expression.
“Okay so somebody comes to rob the guy but he’s dead when they get here, they toss the place and call the cops when they leave cause they got a halfway decent conscience,” Hank suggested.
“Look at his wrist Hank, they have rope burns on them, same with his ankles.” You point out.
“So, he was into kinky shit?”
“He was tortured, some of his fingernails have been ripped off,” Connor remarked and looked to you for approval.
“Connor, you can scan him, can’t you?”
“Yes I can Detective L/N!” He replied eagerly. You grab a chair and stand on it to better examine the hanging man’s neck.
“Just Y/N is fine Connor. Cause of death?”
“Hmm. The bruising on the neck from the rope is postmortem. He was suffocated, but not by hanging.” You said looking down to him now and have to fight another smile at the sight of him looking up at you, he almost reminds you of a puppy.
“So the noose didn’t kill him? Alright, I’m a little less bored now.” Hank shrugged. You held your hand out and Connor wordlessly helped you down from the chair, as you moved to the living room.
“Connor you must hate this, you haven’t gotten to lick anything off the floor yet.” Hank joked and watched as Connor’s head glanced up at yours nervously.
“Lick? Off the floor?” You ask.
“Not for recreational enjoyment. I can check samples in real-time, I use my tongue strictly for police work.” Connor explained quickly, his eyes darting down as he realizes his statement. A soft giggle escapes you and he revels in the sound. Your laughter was something he did find himself enjoying, but he could never get you to produce it on purpose.
“That’s a shame, I bet your tongue would be great for “recreational” purposes.” You said with a wink and saunter by him. Much to your satisfaction, his LED flashed rapidly again as you approach a huge family photo over the mantle of the fireplace in the living room.
“If you were a scummy politician and you needed to hide something, where would you put it?” You ask aloud as you remove the photo to reveal a safe in the wall.
“Son of a bitch.” Hank scoffed.
“Can you crack the safe?” You ask Connor and he quickly nods and gets to work, figuring out the code in less than five seconds.
“That was kinda hot Connor.” You say offhand as you reach in the safe to pull out a small black book from the inside. Connor immediately replayed the interaction in his mind, first to be sure that he heard you right, and then just to hear you say it again.
“This book is full of evidence of our victim and another senator embezzling money from the state office.” You say handing the book to Hank.
“So his partner in crime finds out he’s keeping a logbook on their less than reputable expenses, torturers him to find it and when that fails, he makes it look like a suicide, well that took a turn. I’ll get the boys to locate this other senator.” Hank nods and walks over to the other room to inform the officers, leaving you and Connor alone.
“Your deduction skills are quite impressive Detec-Y/N.” Connor remarked turning to face you.
‘Well thanks, you’re pretty sharp yourself. Apologies you haven’t gotten to use your tongue yet though.” You reply coyly and watched with amusement as he stood awkwardly, unsure where to run off to in the crime scene. But after a moment, much to your surprise he didn’t scurry away. Instead, he bent down to put his lips close to your ear and whispered low.
“I suppose you’ll have to make it up to me Y/N.” His voice ran down the back of your neck, chilling your spine at his sudden burst of confidence. He seemed surprised as well. Connor stepped back suddenly and glanced around the scene with a look of distress.
“I don’t know why I said that. I should go see if Hank needs any help.” Connor said and quickly walked off, leaving you and your goosebumps all alone.
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I am not above asking random strangers on the internet for career advice.
TL;DR, I need advice on universities in Nova Scotia that have purely online programs, or certain career paths. There are more details under the break.
I need to go back to school within the next couple of years to be able to do it at all within the next ten to fifteen (repayment assistance from student loans before; after five years on it, then I can't get another loan until whatever I have is paid off, and I've been on it since the end of 2018).
I'm on income assistance, which does not provide enough for me to pay my student loans and help my parents out with bills, let alone move out and live on my own. I'm in a situation where I'm too disabled to work in any entry-level thing available (fast food or retail; the former I did in high school and ended up developing an eating disorder because of it, the latter I can't deal with people enough to do), but not disabled enough to qualify for disability benefits.
So, I need to go back to school, and fairly soon.
I have three main issues here that are going to cause problems no matter what I try and do:
I have a bad back, bad knees, and generally low energy most of the time. I can't do much that involves manual labour for more than a couple of hours a day--definitely not enough to be able to even work a part-time job, let alone full time.
I can't deal with people. Between anxiety, probable mild Asperger's (according to a therapist I saw as a teenager who apparently couldn't diagnose me herself or refer me to someone who could, and later corroborated by every mental health professional I've seen since, but still no way of getting an official diagnosis), and just generally having some misanthropic tendencies that I'm still trying to train myself out of, anything customer-service related is going to cause me a lot of stress if I can't minimize that interaction.
I am so anti-corporate, it's not funny. I can't work in a field that goes against every moral I have. I know full well if I end up working for a large corporation, I will also be trying my damnedest to get them in as much legal shit as I can, without breaking any laws myself or giving them something they can use against me without my being able to get them in more trouble. There's no at-will employment here, so I do have that extra layer of safety. I don't, however, want to go thousands of dollars into debt with another round of student loans just to risk screwing myself out of the industry I paid so much to get into.
Another issue is that I more or less need to be able to do my courses online, preferably even part-time for the first year while I get back into the swing of things, and actually learn how to study (I never needed to up to and in high school, so I do need the extra work there). I more or less also need to stay home with my parents, since I won't be able to work (again, two real entry-level things around here, neither of which I can do) while I'm in school, so living off-campus wouldn't be an option, and I don't know if I'd be able to leave my cats behind to live in a dorm. TL;DR, online is a must, part-time would be nice.
So this is where I come looking for advice. Any sort of career or university (must be in Nova Scotia) program to look into would be great. You can reply, reblog, or send me an ask with any suggestions you have.
Just, please, I'm honestly desperate, and every little bit of actionable advice (e.g. "this job," or "this program at Dal," rather than generic motivational things) goes a long way.
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Morning angel! Thank you so much, I hope today is better too. I appreciate that more than you know, if you ever need to talk, just let me know and I'll be here 💛💛
I'm sad about Cruel Summer, I think she underestimates how good it is. It's a really hard song to sing, you can tell, her lung capacity is just unmatched 😂The Man should have been way bigger than it was- especially the music video!! (it wouldn't be right for me as the MV anon to ignore that lol) But it still feels SO odd to hear Taylor's voice coming from him. I just still can't see how that's her it's SO cool. I remember watching it for the first time and being shocked when I realised it was her. She always puts such unique elements in- like her heartbeat in Wildest Dreams. I didn't realise it was her heartbeat until I saw it in the comment section and I was blown away. How do you even think of something like that?! She's a true genius.
No, that's true- I think her humility is what's really special about her. Otherwise I don't think many of us would relate to a multi-millionaire in the way we do. It's just incredible to me to watch her old live streams from fearless era and see how she literally hasn't lost her kindness and big heart. I used to get sad too- I remember she said something about how she can't enjoy winning an award fully because she fears she'll never be recognised again and that might be it. Miss Americana (and the whole of 2016) just broke me. I think I always knew she was really harsh on herself because I see a lot of my traits in her in that sense, I think it just goes to show that everyone has insecurities. She really has grown a lot recently, and i'm really grateful that she's taking steps to protect her own health now. Reading about how the internet made her fear for her safety to the point where she was carrying army grade bandages made me feel sick. I can't imagine what she must go through sometimes with anxiety. i just want to give her a hug.
Oh my gosh- you are SO talented!!! It's literally so pretty, and you are good with fonts!! In fact, the font really stood out to me as matching perfectly. Don't be harsh on yourself too!
🥺🥺I'm sending you the biggest hug too- I hope you slept well? <3
Hiiii love!! I just finished work and it was a lot better than yesterday, so at least there’s that.
Cruel Summer literally my favorite song ever and when I scream it in the car it’s like a full on workout? Like Miss Swift, why do you DO that to me? She really is so good at what she does, it’s astonishing!
So true, my life could not be more different to her’s and still she makes me feel like we’re on the same wavelength and makes me feel better about being the way I am, that’s so special. I feel you on Miss Americana being hard to watch, even more so with knowing all that we know because we constantly keep updated on what she goes through and how devastating some of the things she’s opened up about actually are. Sometimes I can’t help thinking about where she would be today if she did not have the support system + inner strength she had and I’m so glad she is doing so much for her mental wellbeing now. We all should probably take a page out of that book lol
Thank you, that actually means SO MUCH. I cannot express how happy I get when someone likes the stuff I make, even just a little comment when someone reblogs my edits, it makes my day. It’s all I want to archive with posting on here, to have people enjoy what I make.
I slept really well actually, didn’t wake up a single time during the whole night, that never happens to me haha, so I’m sure that it was your well wishes. I hope you’ve had a good day so far, sending you love
Healing Hands: Chapter 3
Happy finals week, ugh. As always, reblogs are appreciated!!
Jasonette Sword Art Online AU
Read here on AO3
Tag list: @iloontjeboontje
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Chapter 3: Well shit Babs, maybe I like ponies
Marinette sat on a rock and paddled her bare feet in the water. It was a beautiful day, the sun was warming the top of her loose, dark hair and the ocean in front of her stretched for miles and miles.
A noise disturbed her peaceful moment. A distant cry, probably a seagull.
She sighed and leaned back on her hands to breathe in the smell of--
Marinette choked. Why was there smoke in the air?
The cries grew louder as she looked back at the water before her. She started when she saw that they came from her friends, who were in the now-tumultuous water, trying to keep themselves afloat. They were only a few yards away, she could make it if she just--
A force around her waist tugged her hard as she leapt to her feet. Her face collided with the concrete beneath her-- the top of a building, she realized. If the water level was up this high, then....
From where she lay, she could see directly down into the water. It was no longer clear, but a deep crimson. There were dozens of figures scattered about, some still struggling and some motionless. She scrambled to get up as her eyes snapped to Alya’s hand disappearing below the waves.
That damn force jerked her to the other side of the building, farther from her friends.
“No!” Marinette cried out desperately. The force released her and she whirled to find her attacker.
A flash of red caught her eye, and--
It was Ladybug.
Marinette shook her head, not understanding. If that was Ladybug, then.... No, it couldn’t be Ladybug, because she was Ladybug. She fumbled for her earrings, but felt nothing.
Ladybug stalked deliberately up to Marinette and pushed her to the ground. Marinette landed on her hands and knees, both of which were now shaking.
“Look at them,” it was her own voice that spat so harshly from Ladybug’s lips. “Look at them.” She grabbed Marinette’s hair from behind and forced her head up.
Marinette could now see Adrien, Kagami, Luka, and Chloe in the ocean in front of her. Their lifeless faces floated just below the surface, the bloodied water doing nothing to conceal their frozen expressions of terror.
Marinette sobbed and closed her eyes. Ladybug pulled sharply on her hair again, and looked into Marinette’s eyes.
“Look at them. Don’t you dare take your eyes off the mess you’ve made. You will never be able to save them all,” Ladybug’s eyes, her eyes, blazed with the vehemence of her words. She opened her mouth to speak again, but a loud beeping sound was all that came out.
Marinette gasped and sat up in her bed, the alarm sending her heartbeat into a frenzy. Tikki flew up next to her as she slumped over with a hand over her eyes.
It was just a dream.
Another Kwami must have turned off her alarm because the beeping had stopped, but Marinette could still hear the echoes of her friends’ dying breaths ringing in her ears.
“Marinette... are you okay?” Tikki placed a delicate paw on her chosen’s arm. “We heard you cry out while you were sleeping.”
The girl lifted her head and gave the little god a shaky smile. “It was just a dream.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” Tikki floated back down to where the other Kwami were piled on the side of the bed with similarly worried expressions on their faces.
Marinette exhaled a bracing sigh. “Okay.... It was Syren. Or-or Chat Blanc, I’m not really sure.” The Kwami exchanged a look at that. This was not the first time she’d had a nightmare about water. “But Ladybug was there, and she was attacking me.”
Tikki looked especially concerned about that new piece of information. She opened her mouth to say something when Marinette’s phone lit up with a call. The ringtone was Alya’s.
Marinette picked up, trying to control the shaking of her hands. “H-hey girl, what’s up?” Her tone was deceptively cheerful.
“Hey Mari! Just checking to see if you’re awake. Nino and I are ready, he even put on the goggles already!” Marinette instantly relaxed as she heard Alya’s excited voice bubbling out.
“Yeah dudette, they feel really weird. But comfy!” Nino must have leaned over to pitch in.
Marinette shook off the last vestiges of the nightmare with a giggle. “Yeah, it’s kind of tricky to get the headset to fit over your glasses, but you’ll get used to it!”
“Well if you’re not ready yet then you’d better hurry up, girl! The game launches in five minutes.”
Marinette scrambled to check the time. “Oh crap! I gotta go, see you guys soon!” She hung up and rushed to untangle herself from her blankets.
“Good thing you set three alarms, huh?” Tikki followed her down from the loft and watched her brush out her hair.
Marinette stuck her tongue out at the god of creation.
* * *
Red Hood stalked into the Batcave, nearly running Oracle over as she wheeled herself up to her station at the Batcomputer.
“Woah Jaybird, don’t let me get in your way there,” Babs glared at his retreating back. “Asshole,” she muttered to herself.
Jason hurled his helmet onto the floor of the bathroom and began shucking off his suit with far more force than necessary. He started a shower and looked over his new wounds in the mirror. He’d been stupid, so damn stupid, on patrol.
“Red Hood, report in,” Batman’s gravelly voice cut through on his comms. “Hood, you are not to engage alone. What is your location?”
But Jason couldn’t hear him. The only thing he could hear was blood rushing in his ears, but it wasn’t his blood. No, it was the blood of every monstrous, corrupt asshole in this city. And he wanted it to run on the streets.
The Joker had sent thugs out to a meet-up. Well, Red Hood could send them back in a casket. He crouched beside a gargoyle and watched for the arrival of the van he’d tailed. There were only two men. They left the vehicle and waited outside, lighting cigarettes. Too easy.
Red Hood swept down the building, guns never leaving their holsters. He wanted this to hurt. Them or him, he wasn’t sure. But he got his wish as he beat the two men to a pulp. He wasn’t sure how far he’d have gone if not for the arrival of the gang the Joker’s men were supposed to meet with.
They slashed his back with knives. Shallow wounds, easy to manage. By the time Red Hood turned to face them, the others had arrived-- Batman, Nightwing, Robin. And boy were they pissed.
Jason winced as the hot water hit the cuts on his back. He rolled his shoulders and just let the steam ground him. He didn’t kill again, even if every time that green-haired bastard got involved, he went off the rails.
He would get to choose his own path, not the one Bruce wanted for him, but damn well not the one Thalia wanted for him either. This story was his, he reminded himself while gingerly toweling off. Even if he couldn’t look his own reflection in the eye.
He gripped the countertop, staring down as he let his hair drip into the sink. No, he wasn’t feeling desperate enough to see if his eyes were green again.
Damnit, he had to apologize to Babs. He felt calmer now, but he’d been a real dick when he came in. Jason dressed quickly in sweatpants and an old shirt, then padded quietly back to where he knew his sister would be at the computers.
“Hey,” he said, knocking softly when he entered to announce his presence. Barbara didn’t respond for a moment. She was leaning forward in her chair, typing something into one monitor while listening to police chatter, then nodded to herself and sat back.
“Hey.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Robin told me what happened on patrol.”
Jason scowled. “That little tattletale.”
Barbara offered him a reassuring smile. “That little tattletale is the only reason I didn’t hack into your bank account and order a damn pony.”
“Well shit Babs, maybe I like ponies,” Jason snarked back, but his heart wasn’t into it. “Listen... I’m sorry about earlier. If replacement talked to you already, you know what kind of mood I was in, but that’s no excuse.”
Babs turned her chair to face him and held out her hand. He stepped forward and took it, and she said, “We know you’re trying, Jay. Stuff like this? This is who you are. A year ago, you wouldn’t have been caught dead apologizing to me!” She cringed. “Ah, no offense.”
He chuckled. “None taken, it’s about time you started getting in on the undead jokes.” He patted her hand before walking away back to the main space of the cave. “But thank you, it means a lot.”
“Took the words right out of my mouth!” She raised her voice and turned back to face the computer.
Dick and Tim were already waiting in the cave. Tim was fiddling with some beds and what looked like opaque ski goggles. He always fidgeted when he was nervous.
“Hey replacement,” Jason shouted across the room. He noticed Dick bristle, but cut him off before he could get the patented older brother speech. “How much time ‘til the launch?”
Tim’s eyes lit up, and damn him for caring, but Jason just didn’t want them to be afraid of him.
* * *
Connor and Zatanna were washing dishes in the Cave’s kitchen after dinner. Connor heard the distant sound of someone arriving via zeta tube. He let Zatanna know as they finished drying their plates, then followed her to go greet their visitors.
Wally and Artemis staggered into the room, both weighed down by overflowing boxes of equipment.
“Oh thank god, please help me!” Artemis said, spotting Connor. He obliged and easily took the heavy box from her. She rubbed her arms and smiled gratefully as he held it aloft in one hand.
“It must be so handy having him around,” she sighed to Zatanna.
The magician giggled. “It certainly has its perks, but....” She lifted her hands and said clearly, “Flesruoy egnarra.” The contents of the boxes, some assorted cots, VR headsets, and computers, floated up and placed themselves into a neat formation. “A girl can get by by herself.” She gave Artemis a fistbump.
The zeta tube activated and they all looked up to watch it. The AI announced Wondergirl, and Cassie Sandsmark walked out. She looked up from her phone and waved. “Oh hey guys, whatcha doing?”
Wally zoomed around the set-up Zatanna had created. “We’re just setting up to play this new virtual reality game that’s coming out at midnight! What about you?”
“Oh, what a coincidence, I was just--”
Cassie was cut off by the zeta tube activating again. This time it was Bart, carrying Jaime bridal style, and running at full speed. He skidded to a halt, put a very ill-looking Jaime down, and ran a hand through his windswept hair.
“So totally crash! What’s poppin’?” He made finger guns at Connor, Zatanna, and Artemis.
Zatanna started explaining, “Well, like were just telling Cassie, there’s this new video game coming out at midnight and we--”
She was interrupted by the screech of a green pterodactyl swooping in from the zeta tube. It circled once around the high ceilings of the hollowed-out mountain, then landed and shrank into Beast Boy.
“Just a heads up, Arsenal’s right behind me and he’s a little angry-- oh what are you guys doing?”
Connor was getting frustrated now. “We’re trying to get set up for this new video game that’s launching in five minutes, so if you guys wouldn’t mind--”
A small explosion sounded from the door to the exterior of the island. Roy burst in amidst a cloud of dust.
“Hope I’m not late, I lost my phone.” He sounded like he was in a bad mood.
Bart whispered to Connor, “He means he destroyed his phone.”
Roy dusted off his pants, then looked to Wally and Artemis and asked, “The hell are you doing here?”
“AUGH,” Artemis had had enough. “We’re here to play the video game coming out at midnight! If you want to join us, fine, but if you don’t then get out.” She pointed to the zeta tubes.
Garfield tried to placate her. “Sheesh, it’s just a game! No need to get so worked up.”
Jaime gave him an incredulous look. “Weren’t you just throwing a tantrum yesterday about Bart kicking your ass halfway to Bialya in Smash?”
“...Noted.” Garfield answered.
“Well, looks like we’ve got plenty of hands to help get everyone set up. Let’s get to it!” Cassie expertly maneuvered the two teams away from setting off their more explosive members. They distributed headsets and assigned reclining positions without further delay.
* * *
Marinette put the headset on and laid down on her bed.
“Ready to go back?” Tikki asked her.
She gave the little god a grin. “Definitely.”
In the distance, the bells in Notre Dame chimed six times, but Marinette couldn’t hear them. Her mind had gone somewhere far, far away. Somewhere new.
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WORD COUNT: 563
SUMMARY: Azriel and Elain find each other in their secret place
Okay, first of all, I want to apologize for any grammatical mistakes. English is not my native language, so I did it in Portuguese (my native language) and then I translated to English. I hope you like it!
Elriel Month Day 4: Forbidden
"Elain, someone left you a letter who said it was important." Nuala said.
"A letter? Who was it?" Elain asked, confused. Why would anyone send a letter to her? Wasn't it easier to come to her and say it in person?
"I don't know who left it. I just know that when I got to the pantry to get supplements, it was there on one of the shelves." Nuala said, throwing the fertilizer on the plants and mixing it with the soil. "It is sealed. It must be from the High Lord or the High Lady."
What could Rhysand and Feyre want with her?
"Okay. Thank you very much, Nuala." the friend nodded while Elain stood up, heading for the place where the letter was left.
When she entered the space, it was the first thing she saw. The seal was purple, with flowers decorating it. There was no symbol present.
She took it and opened the seal carefully, being surprised by the contents inside the envelope.
" Little Flower,
I'll be waiting for you at our place.
You know who I am. "
She knew very well who it was.
"Azriel, what do you think you're doing?" Elain whispered screaming when she felt her partner take her by the waist, turn her to him and kiss her.
She had barely arrived at the place and Azriel already had his tongue in her mouth. A great way to hide their relationship.
"Azriel." she spoke screaming in a whispered voice again, this time stamping her foot on the floor with her arms rigid parallel to her side, with closed fists and pout on her lips.
She's so cute having a tantrum. Azriel thought.
"Calm down, babe. There's nobody around here. We're safe." Azriel said hugging her, leaving his face away just to look at her. "And I missed you." that was quite true. Azriel had almost died that he had missed his beloved.
"I felt it too, and I want to enjoy our moment. But we have to be careful." she said. It was clear that Elain was the most thoughtful there.
Well, the warning didn't do any good.
Azriel grabbed her again and they kissed fervently. This time, Elain responded in the same way.
Okay, maybe neither of them was thinking there.
It took several minutes, maybe an hour, before Elain broke the kiss and asked, "By the way, why did you have a seal on the letter? I thought it was from Rhysand or Feyre."
"I'm fond about letter seals. I think they are extremely beautiful. It is my passion. I have many collections of wax at home, with several different colors to make them." he replied. Elain was surprised. When would her imagine that Azriel loved seals? "I made a special one for you. I glued flowers because I know you love them. I put the color violet, because it is the combination of our favorite colors: pink and blue. I hope you liked it." then he smiled, almost ashamed.
Was he ashamed that she thought his passion was stupid?
"Azriel, I loved it." she said the last word strongly. "What a beautiful thing, really. I want you to always make special seals for me and put them in the letters. I will keep each one very carefully. With the seal intact. I will open it very carefully just so as not to break your art done with all the love you have for me. "
Then Azriel smiled widely, with all his teeth showing and grabbed her again to kiss her again. This time, more intense than ever
How he loved her.
If you liked it, please reblog it. It helps me a lot! ♡
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WAKING YOU UP IN THE MORNING
—» ft. tanjirou, inosuke, zenitsu, kyojuro, giyuu
You felt a soft brush against your forehead subtly tickling you but giving you comfort at the same time. “Good morning, Y/N.”
Opening up your eyes, you saw his gentle smile, which made you want to stay even longer. You nuzzled further at his side, which made him laugh a little. Knowing Tanjirou, he let you sleep a little bit more, because he spoiled you rotten.
Instead of gentle and warm touch, you were awaken by a savory scent and it’s one you can’t ignore. Inosuke surely lured you in with delicious breakfast just to wake you up. As you woke up, you were welcomed with a breakfast in bed. Your mouth immediately watered as you saw your favorites right in front of you.
“As your Lord, it’s my responsibility to feed you. Now, go eat.”
Of course you did, with just a beat! And seeing you smile at him like he completed your day first thing in the morning def made Lord Inosuke proud.
“Y/N-chan,” he whispered while lightly nudging your cheek with his index finger. Zenitsu leaned in close to your ear and called again, “Y/N-chan” He chuckled. "You must be dreaming of me, Y/N-chan. You’re smiling so beautifully in your sleep.” Moving slightly away from you, he squealed internally, musing about what kind of dream you’re having of him. Because of that, he ended up sleeping with you as well.
As if sensing that Kyojuro’s already awake, you slightly opened your eyes and saw his bright smile beaming at you like sunrise. Truly, he was like a sun that you almost covered your eyes.
How long had he been watching you sleep?
"Rise and shine!” He announced with so much vibrance, but you just hid your head on his chest. You heard him chuckle as he held you a little bit longer. Perhaps, a few more minutes wouldn’t matter.
The back of his index finger was lightly brushing the outline of your face as he watched you sleep. Giyuu had been having a hard time waking you up since he was so fixated in observing how peaceful you look sleeping like this. Most of the time, he’d fight the urge to stare at you as much as he wanted too because he’d get shy, but right now he had the unlimited opportunity to do so. Remembering that there was still another perk whenever you’re asleep, he leaned forward and successfully snuck few kisses on your lips. He unintentionally woke you up when he accidentally made the last one a peck.
You shot your eyes open surprised to find him hovering you and realizing that he was actually kissing while you were sleeping.
“I-I, uh,” Bashfully, he turned away and and stood up. “Good morning.”
REBLOGS ARE DEEPLY APPRECIATED ♡
Please help me reach other viewers as tumblr tags often don’t work on me. Thank you so so much!
☾ COLLECTIONS: KNY ☾
✧ DAYDREAM MUSEUM ✧
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Amphibia Leaked Finale
So the season 2 finale was leaked due to Disney not getting their shit together. It was planned to be released next week but it was pushed back again for a marathon. I had no idea it was leaked, I just saw it this morning thinking ‘Oh they must have change their minds and released it last night and I missed it.’ I should have known better. This is coming from someone who kept an eye for Steven Universe leaks. At least it wasn’t five new episodes that were leaked. I felt bad for watching it and seeing how upset Matt and the crew are I won’t be discussing nor reblog any fanart of the finale until everyone sees it on the official date.
This should give me enough time to rewatch the whole show. I kept forgetting to put Amphibia under watch on my TV. I don't watch TV much and watch stuff on my phone whenever I’m bored or when I have writer’s block. So please do the same and do not watch the leak, if you still do it I won’t judge you just watch it when it airs.
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Uhh hey! So I’ve kinda written something as like a warmup for my coming English exam and I’m not sure where else to post it? And since I only reblog on here I figured why not🤷♀️
Loud, wet raindrops aggressively hit the bus stop roof as I waited. No one else was there, so I was all alone. Looking back I'm not sure why I was so surprised that nobody else was there. After all, who would be as stupid as to run away from their only home, nowhere to go and no money to spend....would they?
As I think to myself, the bus arrives and the double doors open simultaneously, a bus driver with a faked smile greeting me inside its doors. I sit down and look at the few people travelling with me. People conversating, some absorbing themselves in the sound of music, others filling their minds with worries that will erase themselves when they arrive. So many different lives on this bus...For a moment I thought I saw them. I had to blink twice in disbelief to make sure it was real, but all I saw was a lady in a business suit giving me a judgmental stare. “Sorry,” I said to her, “I thought you were someone else” I explained as I tried to shake the awkwardness off. I repeated that first word over and over again in my head. ‘Sorry’, ‘sorry’, ‘sorry’. I was always the one to say that. Never them. Even though it was always their fault! I looked out the window to try and calm my nerves.
The bus turns quite quickly and I lean to the right a bit to steady myself, I notice the person in front of me does the same. Everyone here leading such different lives... However, we are all feeling the same twists, turns and bumps the driver makes. I scoff a bit as I think about it, ‘one in eight billion, and I had to be the one to live this shithole of a life I thought. I repeated that number until I got off the bus.
I must tell you, reader, that this journey is not about a destination, arrival, or finish point. It is about travelling, and the travelling companionships you make along the way. This journey is not about where we’re going, but where we have left.
As I arrive at my destination, an old and beautiful woods, I reminisce on the days I used to come here with my grandmother. Remembering it like it was yesterday, I walk along the muddy path, before finding the place I used to play with Grammy. I miss how she would chase me, I miss how she would make me so happy I could get butterflies, I miss how she could take my mind off things when I had a bad day... I miss her.
As I crawl under the small structure we built together and played tea party in, I lay down on the soggy dead leaves. I rustle a bit to try and make myself as comfortable as I can in this situation, close my eyes and slowly drift away into dreamland.
So that’s it😅thanks for reading it all. This was all written on the spot (and I haven’t edited/reread it) since that’s how it’ll be for my exams. If you have any feedback pls feel free to comment and I’ll be happy to answer any questions you have
Summary: The rumours warn to stir far from the cottage down the clearing. Who knows who hides between these pitted walls? But curiosity trumps logic, and now that the wolf caught the scent of his prey, this little red ridin' hood wandered into a trap..
Pairing: August Walker x OFC (3rd person pov - no ethnicity or body type)
Word count: 3.8
Warnings: 18+, Dark, Non-Consensual sex, dubious consent, chasing, outdoors, primal sex, fingering, orgasm, doogystyle, creampie, light breeding, kidnapping, my overuse of forest metaphor and cottagecore. Please proceed with caution.
*No permission is given for reposting my work, copying it, ideas or parts it and claiming it as your own
A/N: There you go, a dark Lumberjack August no one asked for. Inspired by a conversation I had with baby sis @blavikennbutcher. Many thanks to @agniavateira my love and beta and for the moral support from @the-soot-sprite and @wondersofdreaming. Now my anxiety attacks me so I must vanish! Poof!
Please comment and reblog if you enjoyed my story. I work hard on each one of them and your validation means the world to me. 🖤
There was a mysterious cottage down in the clearing of the forest—a house built of crude stone bricks and a roof made of red clay tiles. Verdant lichen and damp moss cloaked the rough exterior, silently preserving the house’s secrets while fooling each random spectator to assume it stood centuries-long forsaken.
But, during the nights, dim lights beamed from the windows and smoke—thick as deadly fog—rose from the chimney.
The folks who resided in the town nearby warned her not to go into the woods.
“The man who lives there used to be a murderer!”
“I heard he is not even a man...”
“Aye! A blood-thirsty monster, as ugly as they come.”
Angie always thought it was nothing but an urban legend. Different versions of the story would glide up in the air during drunken evenings at the local pub, played in different tunes each time like old fishermen hymns. In some of them, the murderer was a hag, and in others, a troll.
“Bullshit!” she called out, chugging a cold beer.
Truth be told, no living soul ever saw this so-called homicidal cottage dweller. And Angie, being a nosy young thing, was bested by curiosity. On a quiet Autuman afternoon, she wore her best hiking shoes and decided to go and see for herself who lived in the cabin in the woods.
Lithe clouds hunkered over the pines, the shy sun merely an illusion in the sky as the air ran cold despite the interstices of golden daylight. Working her way through rusty dry leaves and fresh growing fungus, she caressed the peeling scales of an ancient trunk, paying no mind to the insects and mould that flourished within.
Fear hardly came to mind, but then again, Angie was constantly reprimanded for being “too brave”—as if bravery was something a woman should not possess.
Following a narrow river vein that led toward the clearing, she could see the hint of dying daylight where the trees grew sparse at the edge of the woodland while the unmistakable scent of burning coals teased her nose. There was a sound; a sluggish, muffled cadence of thuds, reminding her of a blacksmith or a carpenter hitting a hammer over a plank of wood.
Someone was indeed home.
Adamant to solve the mystery, Angie squeezed her way through a slender crevice between two large oaks, carefully making her way out of the darkening thicket. Excitement prickled her arms and flourished in her lungs, almost bursting into a gasp at the sight of the infamous cottage. There it lay a few meters down the hill, surrounded by wild yellow chrysanthemums and a small patch of soil dotted with herbs and vegetables. Hunting and gardening gear hung over corroded iron hooks ledged to the wall; on the pebbled entrance rested a pair of muddy running shoes.
There was a fascinating beauty to the cosy structure, one dimmed by an odd, gruesome sense that pervaded her bawls like the worms digging through dirt beneath her feet. Still, the infectious hunger for knowledge left her restless. Forgoing her survival instincts, she made her way down the mushy slope, tracking the dull source of noise that became louder with her inching steps and her gut twisting with a lurching sense of unease.
Closer, closer, the legend took the shape of reality. A crisp thwack and a rattle melded into a steady rhythm, the wheeze of air was sliced by an object so sharp she could feel the wind ache. Just when she thought her heart wouldn’t race any faster, a sonorous groan of labour made her pause on her steps with a soft hiss.
It could have been mistaken for a clap of distant thunder, had the dark amber rays of the setting sun weren’t as clear amidst the cotton clouds.
‘Just a quick peek, and I’ll leave.’
Engulfed by fickle temptation, her fingers sailed across cold, slippery bricks, caressing the pillowy pith of moss while mystery and dread unfolded before her flaring eyes.
Wood splinters and droplets of sweat flew with every swing of a heavy axe that laid in the large hands of a man not older than mid-thirties; a giant, possibly, a hulking beast whose red-plaid shirt hung by stubborn threads where his massive biceps swelled. Underneath the cap that covered his dark hair was a determined scowl that complimented his shapely nose and the thick moustache decorating his stubbly face.
Angie’s thoughts lingered, fallen victim to the lure of sombre beauty that felt eerily dangerous.
‘He is just a man,’ she convinced herself, ‘one that was not to be judged from rumours slurred by drunken old hunters.’
The stranger hacked a couple of logs and waved the axe as if it weighed nothing. Perching the handle against his shoulder, he kicked the cleaved remnants into a pile and huffed as if all the load of the world was on his shoulders. He turned aside toward his labour when he caught sight of his invader - and his gaze, oh god, his gaze was the incarnation of an unyielding frost.
One look, and she was infected by the cold, her veins turning rigid inside her limbs.
“What are you doing on my property?” Menacingly, the man crooked an eyebrow, the final rays of sunlight falling on his face, soaking his eyes in various shades of crystal blue. His accent was foreign to this land—an American, no doubt—and she was wise enough to realise this man came here to hide. Locking her gaze, he stretched his shoulders, looking more intimidating, if that was even a possibility.
Angie’s throat became incredibly parched, her muscles stiff as stone while every nerve in her body screamed at her to run. “I… I…”
Slowly, terrifyingly, an insidious grin crept between his stubbly cheeks, a grin harbouring all the fright of nightmarish fireside stories ever told.
Oh, the fun they would have.
“No one ever comes here. I haven’t seen a woman in a while.”
Angie’s shivering thighs threatened to clench at the low timbre poisoned by pungent malice. Unbidden, it wished to penetrate the slippery pit that hid at the apex of her body.
With a swift motion, he threw the axe aside where it sliced into the soaked ground with a squelch. Next flew his cap, exposing a nest of earthy curls steeped in sweat. The bewhiskered stranger swept a hand through those locks and then brushed his thick moustache.
“Shall we then, my angel?”
Despite the war drums booming in her ears, Angie tilted her head naively. Stupid little fluffy rabbit, was it so hard to realise her own doom?
He smiled darkly and cracked his neck from side to side.
As the earth swallowed the sun completely, her mind cleared. Led merely by a survival instinct, she paced backwards and rushed into the welcoming stygian tentacles of the forest. Shrouded by horror, her feet kicked the ground, skipping over dead felled barks and rocks that she swore weren’t there before.
It was as if nature conspired against her, and in the back of her mind, she wondered whether this was a nightmare, but couldn’t find in her to stop and see if her chaser was but a phantom. She could still hear him counting, ‘three… four...’ in that voice that was both seductive and the very essence of lancinating fear.
Echoes of his trail chasing her misguided her feet. Her breath shallowed as she trod deeper into a lair of monstrous trees. Thick and long branches tangled above, turning into a cage. Fighting the burn in her lungs, she convinced herself that she was safe. He was far too large, heavy, and bereft of agility; and even more so, betrayed by his weight. This would provide her with the advantage of slipping away.
The path became slim and yet endless. A mist of pale verdant-blue draped over, a shade so gloomy she felt the layer of ice stiffening her bones while fighting her way through the dour thicket. Large roots and feral branches sought to grasp her, leaving bleeding scratches over her limbs.
Attempting to find the way out or at least a place to hide, she diverted from the path, sneaking into a groove where the ground sounded wet and felt colder beneath her sole. Her pace abruptly halted as her jumper got caught by a branch of a giant tree, forcing her backwards.
Not bothering to turn she grunted, making a violent effort to get loose from the treacherous branch.
Her bawls turned to ice at once.
‘Did that tree let out a powerful groan?’
“I know this forest like the back of my hand. Sweet of you to think you stood any chance, but I must thank you. I do appreciate a good chase.” Large arms trapped her in a death hold, pressing her against the wall of his warm chest while something wet and slippery slithered up her neck.
Riddled with wild tremors, she wished to protest, to claw for her freedom. Although her will screamed to fight and run, all that flowed from her body was a pathetic wail, which to her lack of fortune, seemed to excite him.
“I’m August, in case you need a name to scream.”
His axe-coarse palm slid beneath her top, tainting the soft flesh with a gruesome touch exuding of masculine possession. He groped and squeezed to the point of pain, wishing to leave his heinous legacy embedded under her pelt.
Icy terror hadn’t even begun to unravel when she felt the press of his hard groin grinding into the small of her back.
“Help!!!” Finally, she managed a scream, only to have it return a dozen times over as if 12 other girls wailed into the void. Tears of grief soon seared her cheeks at the aching realisation that her howls will be heard and seen by no one other than her assailer—who, quite clearly, feasted on her agony.
Still a woman with a will of iron, she did her best to break his hold, her arms and legs flying to the air, no stronger than the dry brittle twigs that cracked beneath his leaden stomp.
A wolfish glee spread upon August’s face instead, pleased by the rare find that brought herself to his very doorstep. There was much pleasure to be found in resistance; he could only hope she would enjoy him as much as he was about to enjoy spreading her open, but he would have her nevertheless.
With a slight struggle, she found herself subdued on a lush pelt of dead leaves and pillowy shrooms; her senses lost to a thick fog of despair as August raked her arms above her head and rooted fingers around her wrists. Even in the scarce light, she could make the eldritch lustre of his eyes, a beautiful pale azure glint that cut like shards of glass. Rustic musk gusts upon her like a cloud of intoxication, making chaos of her instincts.
This uncaring feral mien must have been inherited to him from the woodland—the same harmful beauty that bathed her with guilt as wetness flourished between the legs she fought to keep shut.
The wolf in him caught the scent of blood. Beaming, he leaned closer to the trail of tears that marked her cheeks and licked the droplets with an elated groan.
“My my, you taste so good, little one, I bet your cherry is ripe too…”
Goosebumps prickled across her skin as the soft brush of his paw lightly skimmed down her torso, knuckles feathering below her navel as he unzipped her jeans. His hand slipped below her underwear before she could even muster a protest, calloused fingertips sinking into a warm lake of unwanted lust.
“Hmm,” he uttered with wonder, his invasive digit diving to test her waters. Despite the cry that broke from her throat, her walls already squeezed around him, trying to force him out and pull him deeper at the same time.
“No, no! Let go of me !!! Let me go!!!” She tearfully implored, only to be silenced by his prowling mouth. Forcefully, he preyed on her lips as his thumb grazed the little hidden pearl at her apex to manipulate her mouth open. His vile tongue sieged her sacred cavern, though not forgoing his style. Earnestly, he kissed her in the mien of a younger man who takes a bride, regarding each note of flavour as if savouring honeyed mead.
Lost to shadowy ecstasy, she cried a a bemused agonised yelp into his throat. Harder he devoured her, the bristle of his moustache burning the corners of her mouth while his finger continued to pump and toy with her drenched crevice. Self-hatred gushed through her veins once her body foolishly arched into his touch, giving in to this animal despite her burning protest.
Never in her life had she been so betrayed: failed by the forest, by her foolish curiosity, and by feral instincts that wrongfully considered this stranger’s touch to be consensual.
But August found himself elated beyond belief, thrilled by the carnal haze that worked in his favour.
‘Ain’t no fun in fucking a dry cunt.’
Though, she had no wish to make this wretched beast feel desired. In her best offence, she clamped her teeth at his bottom lip.
August felt the tinge of iron and tore his lips from hers; licking the blood off, he then squeezed her wrists.
“This little rabbit appears to be a feral lynx, it seems,” he growled yet not with anger but with a deep rumble of appreciation. The girl was far more interesting than he imagined, a nosy adventurous spirit. It was time to show her what curiosity brought upon the cat. Pulling back to stand on his knees, he sent a hand to tug at his belt. Angie fell paralysed below him, covered by a damp layer of chilling panic as he pulled out his enormous shaft, presenting it with pride. Up and down, he stroked its length, the head of his ‘beast’ salivating at the sight of delicious dinner.
Angie whimpered with distress, though between her clenching thighs, her cunt throbbed with a need she could no longer disregard. It was but a brief moment when she imagined how this animal would feel inside her, splitting her asunder, again and again.
It made her want to scream even louder.
“I know,” August grinned, voice seeping with arrogance. His hand left her rigid wrists in favour of her jumper, peeling it above her chest and vehemently tugging her bra to expose her breasts.
It’s been so long since he fed the vicious animal within, far too long.
“Little nosy cat...” he hummed, “you screech now, but I will make you purr by the end of the night.”
Hate set fire to her blood at the sound of his words, unable to bear being his ‘meal’. As August’s hands worked to strip her of her last protecting garment, a sudden adrenaline surge burst in her heart. Her frozen muscles filled with courage, pushing her to fight back.
Folding her knee, she kicked the large man, making him fall back with a pained snarl.
There was little time to plan an escape strategy. Her brow furrowed with feline determination as she flipped on her knees and began crawling through the rustling foliage. Amidst a wall of elder oaks, two large roots entangled above the ground, creating a low cove. He would not fit, he could not reach her if she’d manage her way through. Still on her knees, she hurried toward hope, her heart beating loudly at the thrill presented by escape.
Her right arm passed through the path. Digging into the soil and sinewy saplings, she managed to pull herself farther when her ankles were captured by his claws. With a blood-chilling shriek, she was dragged back.
Long, rigid fingers etched around the seams of her denim and within seconds, her womanhood was exposed to the first stars that crested the evening sky.
“Fine,” August rebuked unforgiving, “like a bitch then!”
Somewhere among the ocean of green, a lone wolf howled at the rising moon, its melancholic yelp playing harmonically to Angie’s cry of grievous pain as August defiled her with one harsh thrust. Stretched and parted open, she was wrapped around him completely, becoming a vessel to a cruel man who seized her deeper than she could bear.
And still, despite the pain, despite the bludgeoning shame, her lake seethed of sultry at his forced entry.
Holding one hand around her waist and the other locked at her nape, he broke into a long aching exhale sounding like a dragon awakened from a long slumber. His torso clenched at the feel of her little cunt twitching around his girth. He stilled and took this moment to bask in his astonishment, hoping to last and memorise each second of their union.
“Oh, sweetling, you feel amazing.”
Dropping her head with defeat, she sobbed, preparing herself for the moment he would begin to ram her. Or was it some sick anticipation? The throb of the thick beast inside her brought a sensation she fought to push back, a fickle yearning to urge for more.
Friction… she wanted it… needed it…
Keen on giving her what she needed without her having to beg, he began to pump himself inside her, slowly dragging his thick shaft out only to dive fully in. He gave no care for the yips and cries and how pathetically she shook her head with every thrust that made her flesh ripple.
Was it him she resisted or herself? For he could definitely feel how desperately she wanted him to fuck her.
“Purring already, kitten?” he taunted and grunted as her canal further clenched. Closing his eyes, he imagined swimming naked in a hot fjord during a harsh winter.
She imagined bathing in darkness, the shadows penetrating her, in and out, abysmally satisfying. To her great misery, his flesh brought white-hot pleasure the more vigorously it split into hers.
It was the way of nature and this animal that stuffed her full of his manhood, was as beautiful as the white veil of the Milky Way beyond the coppice. Shocked by the unforgiving tendrils of bliss that began to weave within her, she shuddered. Even the sound of his incoherent chants was pleasing as he crudely snapped his hips into her rear to delve faster and deeper into her lake of mysteries.
The quivering whimper that spurred from her throat was inevitable. Little spasms tingled where his ridged shaft battered her profoundly, illuminating her from within. Desperate to maintain whatever was left of her senses, she wished to go elsewhere in her mind. Yet neither August nor her body allowed it; pleasure continued to grow inside her, consuming like fire through a forest.
Palms plastered to the ground, she gathered wet leaves between her fingers and finally gave in, moaning and senselessly arching her back to indulge him, to serve a better passage for the beast to graze a spot that made her see fireflies cascade in the darkness.
August gaped as she bucked and writhed against him, no longer hissing in protest but now succumbing to desire with her head bowed down to her owner, her cunt milking in and yanking around him in a familiar gyrate.
“I can feel it, sweetling,” he gasped, feeling himself growing impossibly hard, “you want to come, don’t you, kitten? You want to come with me filling you.”
Not waiting for an answer, his paw glided from her hip to skim toward the spot where they were connected. Tenderly he brushed the tip of his index finger from the seams of her stuffed sleek, feeling himself sliding in and out for a brief second before shifting to brush her clit. Everything fell into place in a brief moment: their rhythm, the squelching sound of their wet bodies slapping into one another, and their feral howls that laced into her powerful delirium.
Angie felt radiant light spilling down her loins, permeating through her with an erratic flush that swept her into the euphoric glow. Overrun with the intensity of pleasure, her muscles quaked and snugged around him as if he was her lover.
August’s gasps became abruptly erratic, his spine and the taut muscles of his belly thrummed with a surge of bliss. With a final slam of his hips into her ass, he flooded her with the hot creamy promise of life before he faltered to crouch on top of her with his entire body covering hers.
Perched on her elbows she trembled, the abrupt silence between them brought back the whispers of the woodland’s natural inhabitants. She could hear the cackle of chubby toads, bats that squeaked in search of their prey, and the soft rustle of the trees with its branches waving like the veils of a sweet virgin although they stood rooted to the ground.
Beyond her blurry vision, fireflies beamed indifferently while the man who conquered her was still throbbing and seeping inside her, his whiskers tickling her sweat-slicked back as he planted chaste kisses down the length of her spine. Waves of bliss languidly ebbed away, yet despite what he did to her body, some undermined part of her wished he would linger and wrap her with his soothing heat.
She must have lost her mind completely.
After regaining his strength, he stretched back to stand on his knees and finally withdrew from her searing hole. She sustained a yelp at the sudden solitude gaping within her and carefully turned to her side looking at him as if waiting for him to finally grant her the permission to leave.
Tucking himself back in his jeans, August observed her once more, his eyes still luminescent despite the black of night.
“What’s your name, sweetling?”
She didn’t answer, too ashamed of the fact that she couldn’t help but find the sight of him so incredibly handsome. Disliking her lack of speech, August leaned close and brushed his palm across her cheek.
“Answer me, love,” he begged and gently kissed the corner of her mouth where tears salted her delicate skin.
Shivering, she lifted her eyes to meet his, taking a deep breath as if she never spoke a word in her life.
How fitting, he thought, a wide grin painting his face. “Angie and August,” he chimed, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun together.”
It took a second for her mind to process his words before her eyes flared open. She shook her head but was already flung across his shoulder. Vigorously, she tried to kick her weakened feet in the air and threw her fists at his back.
“Please, please, I won’t tell! Please let me go!” She sobbed, watching the great world behind them becoming smaller with each long stride.
“You won’t,” August retorted, uncaring of her silly protests. Marching them back toward the cabin, he was enamoured with the thought of what a wonderful housewife she’d make. “I came inside you. You are mine now, sweetling, but don’t worry, Angie, I will take good care of you.”
Ignoring her screams, August began to hum and lovingly, caressed her spine. A sense of warmth and satisfaction filled his heart when he saw the dim light that shined within his cottage. In a few minutes, he will be home with his new bride; and though he rarely sang, tonight was far too beautiful to resist chanting a tune.
“See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sun rise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me.”
Additional Credits: You belong to me by Chilton Price, Pee Wee King and Redd Stewart.
Dividers by @firefly-graphics
Disclaimer: I don’t own August Walker or Mission Impossible
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Insert Title Here (Obey Me Fic)
i dont have a title yet.
im still getting characterization down and im also not even halfway thru the game so forgive me if i fuck things up DSFKGDSFKDG
the mc is one of the species ive made- chimeras. for ppl who have been here a long time, u shld remember them. for newbies, i wont spoil what they are if this DOES become an actual thing
please reblog and/or leave a comment in the notes if you like this! i need feedback to be sure people would actually enjoy the fic!
“I don’t think I summoned the right person.” Diavolo looked down at the file he had in his hand, examining the picture attached to the front of the folder. A normal young woman stared back at him- blonde hair, pale blue eyes, glasses perched on her nose. The demon prince looked back down at the… creature… on the ground.
Passed out, he couldn’t see her eyes, but the wild blonde hair was almost a perfect match. Lucifer was currently draping his coat over her, as she had shown up naked. Ram-like horns sat on her head, and a tail twitched behind her in her sleep. Tan skin shifted into scales along their arms- and their stomach, from the little Diavolo saw before he averted his eyes. Her legs were much like a cat’s, her fingers and toes webbed and holding wicked looking claws.
“You think,” Satan asked, coming over to his eldest brother’s side to examine the summoned creature. Diavolo crouched down, getting a closer look at her face. Her soul. Asmodeus spoke up while Diavolo did his small investigation.
“What the fuck is it?” Asmodeus leaned over the table, his question earning a stern glare from Lucifer. Asmodeus simply shrugged, sitting back down next to a very confused- and very hungry- Beelzebub.
“... They are… definitely human-” Diavolo announced- “Maybe a… genetic relative?” Diavolo looked through the file again, seeing if he missed a note on any children or family. Asmodeus finally spoke up.
“Why didn’t the original human show?” Lucifer looked to Diavolo, who was just as confused. Before the prince could answer, the creature on the ground began to stir. The three surrounding them moved back, allowing her to wake up without being crowded.
Pale blue eyes appeared before them, unfocused and hazy. They snapped open a moment later, pupils turning to slits. The creature before the demons jumped up, knocking the coat off with a furious hiss. Satan in particular reeled back, feeling her fury harder than the others in the room.
She scrambled back into a corner, staring at the demons with wide, wild eyes. Much too wide for a normal human, if Solomon was any reference point. Dark blue scales glittered on her heaving chest, a rattling noise coming from her tail. Her pointed ears were pinned back against her head in anger.
“We… understand you must be confused, and scared,” Diavolo started, hands raised in a nonthreatening manner. He took a single step closer, and the woman let out a screech that made the three younger demons hold their ears. Lucifer and Diavolo cringed slightly, exchanging a look as she stopped screaming.
“We won’t come any closer. We just wish to talk.” Diavolo was tempted to send her back, but he’d need to get her back in the circle for that. And he doubts she’d simply follow his request to move.
“... What is your name?” She stayed quiet, the rattle on her tail slowly stopping. Her eyes scraped over everyone in the room, daring any of them to move. No one did. Slowly, she sat down on the ground, much like a cat ready to pounce.
“... My name is Diavolo, I am the ruler of all demons, and all here know of me. And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom.” There was a beat of silence where she just stared at the prince.
“Fuck you.” Everyone reeled back at that, before Satan put a hand over his mouth to keep himself from laughing. He was starting to like this creature.
Lucifer was about to speak up, but Diavolo held a hand up to silence him. Clearly, she was scared and angry. Diavolo wasn’t going to take it personally. Luke was, while not as vulgar, very angry when he arrived as well.
“Why I here?” Lucifer cleared his throat, making her head snap to where he was. Diavolo placed a hand on his friend’s shoulder.
“This is Lucifer- a demon, and the Avatar of Pride. He’s also the vice president of the student council and my right-hand man. Beyond that, he’s my most trusted friend,” the prince laughed, ignoring the glare from the human(?) in the corner. Lucifer sighed slightly, subtly shrugging Diavolo’s hand off of his shoulder.
“Welcome to our academy, even if your appearance here is… surprising, to everyone.” The woman hissed, baring her fangs at Lucifer. A bold move, if she were a demon.
“WHY I HERE?” Lucifer looked her over, crossing his arms.
“She certainly is different from Solomon,” he muttered, before starting his rehearsed speech on the reasoning for the exchange program. Satan could feel her rage build, the longer Lucifer talked. Yeah. He understood the feeling.
“You are our new exchange student, it seems, miss…?” Lucifer hoped he would get a name out of her. They needed to confirm if she was, somehow, the woman they originally intended to summon from the human world. When she didn’t answer, he continued with a sigh.
“Your period of stay is one year. You will have to work on the tasks that you receive from RAD. After one year, you will write a paper about your exchange here in the Devildom.” The woman snarled.
“I- I’m- LET ME GO!” The fury in her words was betrayed by the wobble in her voice. She pressed further back against the wall, claws digging at the stone behind her. She was terrified. Trapped.
“I’m sorry, but there’s no going back.” Right now, anyway. “For one year, you are under our care and you will be attending RAD. Do you understand?”
The woman’s chest heaved, breathing picking up again to near hyperventilation levels. Her eyes were focused on Lucifer, but she was looking right through him. Satan bristled slightly, feeling himself grow a bit lightheaded at how strong her anger was. He had to keep himself calm.
The woman darted forward, toward Lucifer and Diavolo.
Quick as a flash, Lucifer grabbed her and pinned her to the floor. The woman thrashed and screeched under Lucifer’s grip, trying to reach back to swipe him with her claws. Her tail slammed into his side shockingly hard. Not that it really hurt him, but it was much stronger than he thought a human would be. If… humans had tails, that was.
She suddenly grew slack, eyes rolling back as she went unconscious. Barbatos, who had been off to the side, put his hand down when she was out. He had to put a stop to that before someone got hurt- human or demon.
Slowly, Lucifer released his grip on her. He didn’t get up from his straddle over her, in case she suddenly woke up, looking up at Diavolo for an order or suggestion.
The prince was at a loss for words, for once. On top of not knowing exactly what this woman was- sure her soul was human but she clearly wasn’t fully- he didn’t expect to just be attacked.
“... Take her to the House of Lamentation, Lucifer, and… maybe try to talk some sense into her there. Barbatos and I will… try to figure out who she even is.” Lucifer felt the migraine coming on. Sometimes he despised his job.
“Of course.” He grabbed his coat again, wrapping her up as Barbatos explained the spell would wear off in three hours. With a nod, Lucifer scooped her up and made his way over to his brothers. Asmodeus immediately cringed away, while Beelzebub just kind of… stared. Lucifer was pretty sure he was in shock.
He turned to Satan, who was still calming down from the intense rage he felt second-hand. Lucifer frowned.
“Satan? Are you alright?” The fourth eldest cleared his throat, flushing slightly in embarrassment.
“Yes. It… She was very angry- the sudden wave of it threw me for a loop, so to speak.” He had expected some anger, sure, but that? It was like expecting a drizzle and walking into a tsunami.
It was kind of funny.
Lucifer hummed slightly, before motioning for his brothers to follow.
“Let’s get her home, then. Satan, call Mammon and let him know he’ll be in charge of her.” Satan paused at that.
“... I’d love to see Mammon get his backside handed to him as much as the next demon, but don’t you think that’s a bad idea?” Lucifer growled slightly. Satan sighed, opening his D.D.D before Lucifer started one of his “are you disobeying an order” tirades.
“Fine. Don’t blame me when Mammon comes back missing a few fingers, though.” Actually. That sounded kinda funny. Maybe Lucifer had the right idea, not that Satan would admit it.
While the fourth argued with the second about his new position as… animal sitter, Beelzebub and Asmodeus fell into step next to their eldest brother.
“Are you sure this is a good idea? Can’t we pick someone else and send her back while she’s asleep,” Beelzebub asked, holding his hands over his stomach nervously. Lucifer glanced down at the sleeping creature, who was still trembling even while unconscious.
“... If it becomes too much of a hassle, I’ll talk to Diavolo. For now, we have to give it a try. It would take too long to find a new applicant. That being said… let’s find a reinforced room for her.” Lucifer didn’t want her busting out in the middle of the night.
“Maybe soundproof, too,” Asmodeus mumbled, wrapping his arms around himself in sheer discomfort. They were supposed to be taking care of this thing? Maybe he could get out of it if he avoided her.
Lucifer shot him a look, but didn’t say anything. That screech definitely caught everyone off guard. His ears were still ringing. Which was only being made worse because he could hear Mammon yelling over Satan’s phone. The eldest sighed heavily.
Lucifer knew he had a long, long year ahead of him.
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Hi Kate 👋👋 sorry it’s taken so long to drop in after the new chapter, migraines have been insane this week so I’ve stayed off screens after work! Genuinely don’t know how you managed to keep writing during lockdown, incredible! I love how ingrained H and Ads are with each other’s families, and the throwback of Cas, H and Ads singing along in the car! Ads and Cas are going through so much, but keeping it light with a singalong! It’s nice to see Paisley getting some time as well, although I’m very sorry for that woman’s attitude towards her.
Now on to the prick, Adrian. The Adele defense squad is ready to reassemble and I’m so sorry Bella has been going through this. She must be terrified and I hate that she’s so good at covering the bruise marks. I feel like Ads covering this up with erupt in the next few chapters, and I’m not sure whose reaction I’m anticipating the most. Harry, obviously, and he will be kicking himself/furious when he thinks back of their conversation. Not sure if these will be covered, but I’m also very curious about Anne’s reaction (she is very taken with Ads and very protective I feel) and also Adele’s brother. The below line is hauntingly beautiful.
Adele shudders aggressively, like her body is rejecting what happened, but she doesn’t reject Bella’s comfort.
I think I’ve mentioned it before (I hope so!) but I love your characters and their individual personalities. I’m curious which were the easiest/hardest to develop, or if there are any traits you think are just so *obviously* H or Ads? Sorry I’m quite interested in how this all develops (🤓) cos I admire creators for this work, I certainly could never! Thanks Kate!
Hiiiii darling! Do not worry one single bit, I really hope you’re feeling better! I was really lucky with writing during lockdown because I need a quiet environment with no distractions so it was almost the perfect situation for me in that sense!
Casper is such a love, I really adore his character and how he fits into the story. I know he’s not there all the time but I feel like he’s become one of those favourites for everyone just because he’s young and kind of unassuming. And I love Paisley as well for the fact that she’s one of those characters with a good moral compass but isn’t afraid to speak her mind? Ya, I’m with you on those pair 100%.
Honestly, you’re not wrong in terms of what direction the story is going to take now, it’s not going to be an easy few weeks and I am admittedly a little bit scared for people’s reactions because I had to think really carefully about the plot line and how specific actions would lead to specific things (if this makes any sense). I’ve tried to cover everything while also still keeping to it being as realistic as possible. I really hope it comes across that way anyway 😩
You know, having readers say your lines back to you (I saw the same in your reblog as well) is such a special thing, so thank you very very much 🥺🥰
It’s funny ‘cause I read Book 1 and Book 2 back this week to see how things developed, and the difference in Adele’s character is crazy from what she was like at the start to now. I’m hoping this is good writing and not a fluke because I hate giving myself credit for anything, but I took myself by surprise. But I think the main thing for Adele that hasn’t changed and is very true to her character is the fact that she can still stand up for herself, and the people she cares about. Like the situation in Chapter 2 when Harry made a comment about her in the kitchen, to the most recent chapter with Adrian, she doesn’t even think twice about sticking up for herself or Bella in both instances. And I think Harry’s most important feature (which when I was first talking to friends on here about this story was the thing I kept going on and on about) is just how sort of cheeky and charming he is. He’s grown a lot, but he’s still that same way all this time later.
Wah, reflecting like this is making me SAD 😩😭😂 thank you again for such a thought out ask, it’s so lovely to read every week ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Moments of Bliss
Summary: Mikey captures your moments of bliss – LITERALLY.
Pairing: Mike x 2nd person pov reader
Warnings: not full smut but SMUT, toys, taking pictures during The Act™ (nothing explicit), teasing, clit play, fingering, Mikey being a little shit as always, mild size kink, floofy floof
A/N: dedicated to my beautiful wifey Em who got really excited when I pitched her the idea. I know she can’t read it on here, but I still wanted to say this (cos I miss her so much). And I also have her permission to use aspects of film student!Mikey. Not beta'd and written in maybe two hours, so there definitely are typos
Word count: 1.3k
Title: Moments of Bliss
Enjoy 💗 if you liked it, like, comment and reblog💕 writers live off validation
Letting Mikey help you unpack was a mistake. Because of course he found that one thing he wasn’t supposed to find, the one you managed to hide from your parents for the past two years. But not Mikey.
Wrapped in t-shirts and stored away in an inconspicuous little bag, Mikey had pulled it from the backpack, gingerly unwrapped the t-shirts and put them on the ground when he felt it. Too big to be a make-up brush, not that he knew anything about that, but why store it in a separate bag and not with the rest of your make-up?
You were just about to put the shirts he had discarded of into the drawer, when you saw him, sitting cross-legged on carpet, holding that bag, seemingly still oblivious to its content. But not for long if you don’t do something!
“Gimme that!” You nearly shriek, your cheeks flaming.
“Wha- why? What is-” He’s cut off by you tackling him to the ground. You scramble to grab the bag, but he quickly catches on, jumps to his feet and holds up it just out of your reach.
“This isn’t funny! Gimme!” You whine, tugging at the sleeve of his hoodie, trying to get your bag.
“Why? What’s in it?” he asks with a shit-eating grin, by now 100% certain of the contents.
Your cheeks feel as if literal hellfire is burning in them.
“None of your business,” you hiss and finally manage to snatch your bag out of his hand, using his cockiness for your advantage.
“We’re definitely using that someday,” Mikey chuckles as he sits back down on the floor to continue unpacking your bags, watching you hiding away your toy.
That was the first mistake. The second mistake was going thrifting with Mikey. It was fun and all, up until he found that old camera and decided how the remainder of the evening should go – because he finally figured what to do for his photography project.
You must confess, you like the concept, you’re just not really sure you would want to be the model. But then again, Mikey wanted the emotions to be real, and him doing what he plans to do for this with another girl… You don’t like the thought, but yes, it makes you feel uncomfortable. So you agree to be his model, but you’re very very nervous about it.
So here you are, half naked on the bed, a black tank top shielding your upper half in case Mikey wants to take some pictures from slightly bigger distance. The artist himself is kneeling between your legs, the toy in hand and the camera resting on the blanket at your hip.
“Ready, sweetcheeks?” He flashes you a grin.
“I don’t know, puppy,” you admit nervously. Immediately, his smile drops and he lowers himself to lean over you. Keeping eye contact, he turns completely serious, the toy discarded.
“Hey, it’s just you and me,” he whispers comfortingly, “Forget the camera, we’re just trying something new, okay?”
“Okay,” you whisper back, and just like that, Mike’s grin reappears.
He leans just a little bit more forward, to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. Within seconds, you’ve forgotten what you were nervous about. It’s just you and him. With every flick of his tongue against yours, you’re lost further in your own little world where only the two of you exist.
After nearly an eternity, you feel a gentle touch sliding up your inner thigh, moving further and further up until he reaches your hip, gripping it tightly before he lets his hand wander lower again. Mikey’s soft touch on your mound has you moaning into the kiss. A breathy, quiet moan that has him smiling against your lips in return.
By now, he knows your body perfectly, knows exactly where to touch you to get the desired reactions. Gently, he slides one finger through your lips, stopping just before touching your pearl. With the second swipe, the slowly slides the finger in, pumping in and out until your hips rock back. Then he pulls out.
You let out a whine against his lips, but Mikey shushes you, pulling back to sit up a little bit. The toy buzzes to life and your eyes flutter to open.
“Keep ‘em closed.” You hear Mikey from above you just a second before you feel his kiss on the tip of your nose. “This is just about feeling.”
The first jolt of the vibration against your clit has your mouth handing open. Mikey switches through the patterns, seemingly curious about the vibrator, and it’s driving you nuts – just like he wants. He settles on an even pattern of swelling and decreasing vibration. It’s torture. The vibrating phases are just enough to tighten that flaming coil in your gut, before it swells down again, making you whimper. With the next wave of vibrations you’re brought further, only to be left hanging again.
Additionally, Mikey makes a game out of it. Seeing your reactions, your mouth forming an O, your hands coming up to run through your own hair, seeing you writhing… He has no other choice but to play with you. He rubs the toy up and down, just slightly, seeing how it drives you crazy.
Time for the pictures. He snatches the camera and holds it parallel to your face, snapping the first picture. And then a second just to make sure.
Then he changes his tactic. Sure enough, it causes different reactions. When he plays with the pressure, your eyebrows draw together desperately, and you bite your lip, needy little sounds coming from you. Another two pictures snapped.
Mikey is determined to have the last picture be the moment when you crash, so he increases the pressure against your cherry just slightly, making small circular movements with the toy. It’s getting you closer, he can tell by the sounds you’re making, by the way your legs are kicking to find a little bit of resistance, to roll your hips up.
It’s a matter of just a few minutes now. Again, Mikey switches the settings to a low, even buzzing, the one when you start the toy. It’s that change that throws you over the edge. Your body goes tense, mouth open, eyes tightly closed, a tear slipping out from between your lashes. Mikey snaps the final two pictures before setting the camera down and carefully works you through your high. Slowly, he pulls the toy away from your glistening folds before he switches it off and flings it to the bed.
You’re shaking from the intensity, breathing heavily as you try to calm your racing heart. Mikey crawls up to lie next to you, wrapping you in his arms, holding you as you come back down to earth, whispering little praises.
“You did perfect, sweetcheeks,” he murmurs, kissing all over your face, “So beautiful.”
Later, when you’re cleaned up and cuddling in bed, you talk about your little experiment.
“You know… it’s probably gonna be pretty awkward to get the pictures developed…” you laugh quietly, taking in Mikey’s face in the dim light filtering through the blinds. But even then you can see his face drop.
“Fuck, I didn’t even think about that,” he groans, “Yeah, uhm… I’ll better go alone.”
“You better,” you giggle, “And? What you’re gonna call your project?”
“‘I Got My Girlfriend Off For This’?”
You roll your eyes and playfully smack his arm.
“Hey,” he laughs, “I thought of maybe ‘Moments of Bliss’. I kinda like that.”
“Yeah it’s…it’s,” you’re interrupted by your own yawn, “It’s nice. Sounds good, and it’s definitely fitting.”
“Hmm,” Mike hums, tightening his arms around you, “You should sleep, sweetcheeks, been a long day.”
“Mhh, good night puppy,” you mumble, nuzzling close to him and promptly falling into a deep slumber.
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Loose Change (Llewyn Davis x Reader)
For this week’s Writer Wednesday hosted by the lovely @autumnleaves1991-blog! Llewyn was the first thing that popped into my head when I saw this, and I really don’t know where the rest of it came from, but I just had to write it. Thank you for reading, commenting, liking, and reblogging! 💜💜
This week’s inspiration:
Word Count: 2300 on the dot.
Summary: How bad can it be when your phone rings in the middle of the night? (An alternate take on what could have happened on the way back from Chicago.)
Warnings: Angsty. Hopeful. Hopeful angst? Angstful hope? Maybe a swear or two. Sketchy phone booths. Wrong numbers. Yearning. Secrets, poor decisions, better choices.
The bed was warm but you could hear the cold rain pounding on the window behind your head. Ignoring it and staying in your cozy, comfortable cocoon was definitely your best option, and you rolled over and pulled the blankets tighter over your head. This was the right place to be and you felt yourself start drifting back to sleep.
Until your phone started ringing.
Your phone, which was nowhere near your bed, or even in your bedroom. It wasn’t even within fifty feet of you; it was securely fastened to the wall in your kitchen, by the sink, next to the pantry door. And your kitchen was clear on the other side of the apartment.
A quick check of the clock told you that it was also the ungodly hour of 3:28 am, the red digits blaring at you angrily in the near-dark. Who in the world was calling you at this hour? For a long few minutes you thought about ignoring it. It was probably a wrong number. That happened all the time. Or maybe it was some kids having a party and pranking. In the middle of the night. That was probably it.
But a little tickle at the back of your brain, small and sinewy, kept curling around your thoughts and rationalization and it wouldn’t let go. Maybe it’s important. Maybe it really was. Maybe something happened to one of your parents or your sister or-
The phone didn’t stop ringing. So it must be important.
With an exasperated groan, you launched yourself out of bed, one quilt still wrapped around you to ward off the damp chill. Your bare feet slapped along the tile floor and your balance wavered slightly, your muscles still used to being asleep, until you finally got to the kitchen and yanked the receiver off the ringing phone.
“Hello?” your sleep-ridden voice rasped out cautiously.
“Hey,” the voice on the other end came back. “You got the stuff?”
“You know, the…”
“The st...No! Do you know what time it is? This is a wrong number! What the hell!” You slammed the phone back down on its cradle.
Figures. It was a wrong number. You wanted to go back to bed, you really did. But now you found yourself wide awake because someone wanted stuff that you wouldn’t have day or night.
So you wandered over to the couch and tried to get comfortable on the lumpy cushions, and watched the rain coming down outside your window bounce dramatically off the fire escape.
Until your phone rang again.
A curse flew from your lips as you hurled the quilt off and stomped back to the phone. You grabbed it, put it to your ear, and shouted, “What?”
“I...are you okay?” a voice came back. A familiar voice, this time.
“Llewyn? Is that you?” you closed your eyes.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s me,” he replied. “Uh, sorry I’m calling you so late.”
You sighed. “I’m fine. It’s fine. Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I guess. I just...some stuff happened, and I needed to hear a familiar voice.”
Your heart immediately softened in your chest, despite your very strong desire to still be angry. Llewyn certainly didn’t sound okay, but that was his norm. You wanted to reach through the phone and hold him, care for him.
You always had a soft spot for him, ever since Jean introduced you so long ago, that day in the park when all the musician friends gathered to play at the fountain. He spent a fair amount of time sleeping on this lumpy old couch. You cooked him a hot meal when you could (and when he would let you), gave him a place to stay even if you weren’t home (on the rare occasion that he would even agree to it, which was slowly becoming more frequent.) You went to as many of his shows as you could, and you really just liked to hang out with him when he was around. He’d slowly become one of your best friends.
And yeah, he was kind of an asshole a lot of the time, but he was sweet and you probably liked him a little more than you were willing to admit.
“Llewyn, where are you? Do you need me to come get you or something?” you asked with a yawn. You really hoped that’s why he was calling you at...3:37 am..
His laugh was short. “Well, if you feel like driving to Ohio, sure.”
“Ohio?” you cried. “What are you doing in…”
The laugh from moments before fell into a sigh and you could hear a soft thunk follow. “I’m in Akron. In a payphone booth outside of a bar, banging my head on the glass. I’ll hitchhike home in the morning, it’s fine.”
“You’re in Akron,” you repeated slowly. “Why are you in Akron?”
“Because I was in Chicago-”
“Which is not Akron, the last time I checked. Or even the same state,” you pointed out. You picked the quilt up from the floor and wrapped yourself back in it, settling on the couch again. The receiver cord had just enough reach that you were able to sit with your back against one arm and stare back out the window and the slippery wet metal of the fire escape glinting in the moonlight.
Vaguely you remembered this was the quilt Llewyn had used the last time he stayed with you.
“Well it’s on the way back,” Llewyn snapped. “And I wouldn’t be in Akron if the car I was in hadn’t broken down and…”
“Does this have something to do with Diane?” you asked softly. That sinewy tentacle of intuition was back, curling around your brain again.
The rough exhale of air on the other end of the line was the only answer you needed.
“Llewyn.” You said again, still soft, but more stern. Something was going on, and you could tell he wasn’t going to tell you without some prodding.
After what felt like hours, he finally muttered, “Maybe.”
“Llewyn, what are you doing? You can’t possibly want to talk to her, after everything that happened. Did the car really break down in Akron, or did you request a stop? Because it seems kind of suspect that you would just, you know, end up there of all places on your way back from Chicago, and what were you even doing in Chicago? I just saw you a couple days ago and you didn’t say anything about--”
It wasn’t until Llewyn broke through your rant that you noticed you’d hadn’t stopped for a single breath.
“The car really did break down,” he insisted. “And I don’t actually want to see her. Not really. But...I feel like I kind of have to, and it’s...it’s just a coincidence that I got stranded here?”
You didn’t know what to say. So you didn’t, and after a beat, he continued.
“I have a kid.”
It suddenly felt like all the air was sucked out of the room. “I’m sorry, what?” You knew he couldn’t see you, but maybe he could feel the way your eyebrows shot up your forehead.
“Diane,” he sighed again, “she didn’t...I found out she had the kid. So I have a kid. Somewhere in Akron. Where I’m currently stranded, looking like a drunk bum loitering outside a sketchy bar.”
You blinked infinitely as you stared out the window. What do you say to that? How do you say anything to that? So you just said the first thing that came to mind.
“Are you drunk?”
“Really?” Now you were pretty sure you could hear his brows raise. “Do I sound like I’ve been drinking?”
“No, I’m sorry, I just...holy shit, Llewyn,” you breathed. “And she never told you?”
His chuckle sounded so morose. “No. Why would she? That was a pretty shit time, for everyone.”
“I’m listening,” you whispered.
You knew the story of what happened between them. Llewyn had told you himself, one night over coffee and an entire chocolate cake that one of your elderly neighbors had made for you for helping her fix her leaky faucet. Of course, Jean had (in her own mind) helpfully filled in all the blanks she swore Llewyn left out, but you preferred to go with his version. She only thought you knew the basics. But that night, fueled by caffeine and frosting, Llewyn admitted you were the only one apart from the actual players that knew everything.
But this part? This was something new.
“She never told me,” he explained. “I thought she went through with it and it turned out she didn’t and she’s not even the one who told me, it was...you know, never mind. That part isn't important.”
“So when did you find out? How long have you been in Akron?”
He sighed. “Just before I left for Chicago. And since this afternoon. I thought about looking them up, but…”
And he told you how he tried an old number he had for Diane’s parents, but it was disconnected. And he’d asked around at the diner he found (over something called chili which wasn’t like any chili he’d ever had and just further proved how weird Ohio was) but got no information. And how he didn’t really want to see her, and maybe he didn’t even really want to meet up with anyone, but if he could, he at least wanted to see what his own kid looked like, just to know.
The longing in his voice, the what if, the hurt. It was all laid bare from hundreds of miles away, yet you could feel it hovering next to you on that couch. Wrapped around you in that threadbare quilt.
It didn’t feel like the time to offer any advice, and platitudes, any words at all. Not now. So you simply curled up in that quilt - his quilt - and listened. It was rare for him to open up like this and you didn’t want to interrupt, didn’t want to staunch the flow of emotional honesty that he quite frankly needed.
Until the tinny, pleasantly fabricated, slightly mechanical voice broke in, if you’d like to continue this call, please add funds, otherwise this call will disconnect in three minutes.
“Shit, that was my last quarter,” Llewyn muttered. “I’ll get back to you when I get back in town, yeah?”
Oh no, you brain screamed. Well, yes, but no, no he was not just going to let the issue drop like this, quarters be damned.
“Llewyn, I need you to listen to me. Get home as soon as you can, and we can talk about this more. And get here in one piece, please be safe.”
“Okay,” he replied with a heavy exhale.
“And...and Llewyn, when you get back home, please...please come home.”
There was silence from his end, silence that lasted so long you thought the call had disconnected without you noticing. Your breath stuck in your lungs, for how long you couldn’t tell, but then suddenly his voice came through the receiver again, flustered and short.
“I...okay, yeah, I will, I gotta go, but...damn it, what is there to lose now, I lo--”
And the call cut off.
You stared at the receiver in your hand for so long the fast busy-beep of the receiver being off the hook is the only thing that snapped you out of it.
You didn’t sleep for the rest of what was left of the night.
For the next day, and the day after, you ran the entire phone call through your head more times that you cared to admit. Every word he’d said, every word you’d said, every pause and admission and what he might have been trying to say at the end. Your mind very (un)helpfully offered all kinds of ideas about what wasn’t said, what maybe couldn’t yet be said, and you just let it tumble around chaotically.
As if you could control it anyway.
You didn’t get much sleep.
Later that night, and on the second day after, after a long day at work and a longer day of thinking, you found yourself curled up on the couch again, with a glass of wine and a record spinning quietly on the turntable. Wrapped in that same quilt. Your quilt- his quilt.
You stared out the window, this time not at the rain, but the setting sun and the soft, rich colors it was painting across the sky.
You hoped he had really listened. You hope he knew what you actually meant. You hoped he wouldn’t get sidetracked as he often tended to do and that he would really show up. You didn’t know how you were going to do it, but you would help him like you always had. Together you would figure out what to do, what he needed to do, what he wanted to do, how to do it. Together.
This wasn’t something he should have to figure out on his own. He probably didn’t want to admit it, but you hope he knew he couldn’t, and shouldn’t, and didn’t have to. You hoped Llewyn would let you.
That tickle, that tentacle in the back of your brain, took firm hold. You knew he would come back, but you prayed he would come home.
That he had listened. That he knew. That he--
Your head snapped up at the sound of a knock on the door. You carefully set the wine glass down and slowly walked yourself, quilt and all, over to answer it.
And once you opened it, saw the man standing before you, exhausted and disheveled but...grateful, maybe even hopeful, you wrapped it around both of you and pulled Llewyn in.
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I was going to post this yesterday but then I thought what if it comes across the wrong way and people get offended. But I feel I must say it, so here it is.
Yesterday we were looking for something. I say something because I had no idea how the item we were looking for looks like, I only knew it's made of metal and has a long handle. I also didn't want to ask how it looks like because this person has a tendency to already constantly criticise how I never know anything and how can stupid I am. Yes, yes, eiypo and all that but I just don't have the energy for this right now.
Looked everywhere. Looked everywhere again. And again. And two more agains. It was nowhere. No long handle metal things anywhere.
So, I suddenly realised 'hang on. Why am I not using the law to find it?' Immediately closed my eyes for a second and imagined the person happy that it was found and said to myself - it is done! Just a quick second visualisation and deciding it is done. Then I persisted in it. Now, it didn't magically appear in front of me right away but a minute after deciding that it is found I almost involuntarily turned my head slightly to my left, saw things hanging there on the wall and just knew that thing will be there too. And it was.
Now, this success reminded me of my very first success with law of assumption which I wrote about here too, when I united a dog with its owner. Then too I did a quick visualisation on the spot and persisted in knowing that it is done. And come to think about this is how I manifest the weather too. I can't describe how it feels, it's like an inner determination. I just know it is done and I stubbornly stay in that it is done thought.
Annnnd this is what manifesting is! God, we make it all so complicated. We get stuck in how many affirmations to say and when, eiypo, self concept...None of this is needed! I wasn't telling myself that I am God or affirmed I am so loved or try to feel it real to manifest these things. Not that you shouldn't affirm and shouldn't improve your self-concept and self-love, all of these are great things but we get stuck and start going in circles trying to find the perfect way and listening everyone else. We hear how this makes manifestations come faster we ran with it, we hear other thing makes manifestations faster and we ran with that...
I reblogged a couple of posts about brazen impudence and I completely agreed with them, they resonated with me. Yet at that time I was into the latest fashion- self-concept/self-love which, like with eiypo, the more I read about it and more posts I see about it the less I understand it and I just ended up frustrated again. Make up your minds, people, are you talking about self-concept or self-love and what does self-concept actually means to you then?
Anyway, brazen impudence, not taking no for answer, persisting in your desire knowing it is already done- that's all you need to do. All the spiritual stuff is great, I highly recommend. Very highly. All the god meditations, thinking highly of yourself - do it all! But don't make things complicated for yourself. Don't go making up beliefs that you have to have a good self-concept and self-love to manifest or you have to affirm this way, that way, standing on your head kind of way or try to analyse (really learn from me and don't do that) eiypo- it will drive you close to insanity. Only half kidding.
This got long. And I think I can hear already people saying how for them nothing manifested until they started working on self-concept or affirming more...And that is all brilliant!! Stay with what works for you. Affirming, self-concept, self-love...I heartily recommend them. But just know you don't need them. Don't get dependent on any techniques and don't make things complicated.
You are already in Barbados and you went first class. 🙂
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I sent an anonymous q earlier but god the post abt underage fics u just reblogged... so so true. love seeing level headed discussions abt fandom culture
hi again :) that was in fact partially an indirect response to you so I’m happy you saw it! and yeah! I think it’s really important we have calm discussions about fan culture, especially because dsmp is such a young fandom (both in average fan age and in fandom length of existence), and a lot of folks are still learning fandom ropes.
whoops. ramble incoming.
I’ve noticed an unfortunate tendency of posts like “if you do x or associate with x UNFOLLOW ME!” that circulate, which leave no room for people to ask questions or learn about the issue because the poster has decreed anyone who disagrees Morally Incorrect by default. it might be a side effect of the sanctimonious and volatile activism that pervades twitter, but it’s also long been common on tumblr. and it’s damaging because it creates this hostile environment where any misstep gets you ostracized and having doubts gets you guilt-tripped, instead of an environment conducive to education. I know I’ve come across posts like that that I didn’t understand but was too afraid to ask about because of how hostile op was, so I learned nothing about the situation. plus, people who might bring new, valuable perspectives get scared away just because their viewpoint is different.
like, take the recent epidemic of enderbees shippers - how many of those fans are kids trying to have fun, who don’t know any better, and think they’re being attacked for no reason? and by blocking them ruthlessly and making posts like “if you ship enderbees you’re disgusting and should die,” which I saw a worrying amount of and are horrible for the mental health of everyone involved, the community that those kids turn to for comfort cuts them out and leaves them to flounder. so then they only find acceptance in their fellow ship blogs, and become vulnerable to the type of people that do know why it’s wrong but don’t care.
it doesn’t sit right with me. fandom is a place of community and collective learning. we’re all young, we all have something to learn, and we all have something to teach. we should be trying to help each other, not hate each other.
that’s why I try to only reblog the "if you do x unfollow me” posts that come with actual explanations. plus, if we only spread “x is bad” posts without rationalizations (not saying mcytblr does, in general we’re pretty good at that I think), we’re at risk to forget why “x” is bad in the first place, and just blindly reblog posts that sound Right because we’re scared of losing our moral high ground. personally, I know I fell in that trap as a kid on tumblr - if a post sounded self-righteous and lofty enough, I assumed it must be true and anyone who disagreed was an automatic wrongen, even if I knew nothing about it.
I know it’s a bit hypocritical of me to have all these opinions about discourse when I don’t like putting actual discourse on my blog, haha. but again, a big part of that comes from the fear of being attacked for my opinions or being misinterpreted. if you don’t conform, you get kicked out. and I got tired of “pro-shippers go die” posts, and was worried about how those could be affecting the kids on mcytblr. where’s the nuance? duh, unhealthy relationships and actual cp are bad. no, you are not a horrible person if you enjoy unhealthy fiction. please treat yourself and those around you with kindness.
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THE COOL DAD
A/N- based on this ask. Reblogs and comments are appreciated. Feel free to talk, ask or request smn. My requests and DMs are always open. And please be kind to everyone and raise your voice against the wrong. And remember, please don’t compromise where you can’t.
Warnings- bullying, self harm, mentions of reader’s past, A lot of cute family moments, not edited or proof read so you might find grammatical errors
You had always wanted kids and to your joy Harry was just as a big fan of kids as you. You both had the perfect family.
You had two daughters,Cassie and Leah. Cassie was 15 and was Leah was 17. While Cassie was a literal replica of Harry, you could not help but see yourself in Leah. You never brought the subject up but you were always scared for her because you knew Cassie would fight for herself whenever needed but Leah would stay quiet and take it. She would compromise where she doesn’t want to because everyone is telling her too. These things had done enough harm to you and you didn’t want that to happen to Leah.
Also, Cassie told you and Harry everything. Every gossip in school, her crushes, her friends, everything, that too with every little detail and from the very start. You and Harry enjoyed them very much even though Harry got a little annoyed when she mentioned her crushes. On the other hand Leah was a little private.
It was early morning and Cassie had already woken up.
“Is Leah not up yet?” Harry asked.
“Nah”, replied Cassie.
“I’ll go wake her up.” You said as you headed to her room.
Her room was a mess. Laptop still on, ‘the princess diaries’ playing on it. An indication that she had slept just a little time ago. Her blankets and pillows were all over the floor. Empty bottles, pizza boxes with decaying pizza in them, curtains closed not allowing light to enter the room and laundry not done for days. She never allowed anyone to enter her room and you yourself were very busy but it was clear she wasn’t taking care of herself.
You walked to her bed and looked at her. She looked so tired, so stressed. Her condition reminded you of your own and brought back the memories you had so hard tried to forget. You stoked her hair and looked at your baby. She was so big now. Time passes so fast and heals your wounds as it passes but the marks, they never really disappear. You looked at your wrists as tears filled your eyes.
You looked at Leah again. The first thing you did was check her arms, her wrists. Everything was fine there. Then you moved her blanket a little lower and checked her thighs. A sense of relief filled you as you saw everything was okay. You kept her laptop on the side table and wrapped the blanket around her. You kissed her head before going downstairs.
Leah never wanted to move to this place. She didn’t want to leave her old school or friends and most importantly, she didn’t want to do this ‘new girl’ thing. It’s hard. But you had to move here because of Harry’s work.
Nobody in her school knew Harry Styles was her father. You both had decided to wait until you exposed your kids to the media. You didn’t want to raise your kids like that, with whole lot paparazzi following them and their every move. You wanted them to live like normal teenagers. Harry also wasn’t a huge fan of childhood fame as he himself knew the struggles. You also wanted them to decide what they wanted to do in future themselves. You didn’t want them to feel any pressure about being a singer just like their father. But they both had already decided to start a career in music and Leah is even going to start pretty soon so the paparazzi is soon going to be a problem.
You would talk to Leah, you thought. You will fix this.
‘Where’s Leah?” Harry asked from the dining table.
“She isn’t feeling well. She’ll have to skip school today. Cassie, baby your bus will be here anytime. Be quick.”
“oh I’ll go check on her.” Harry said.
“It’s okay Harry, you must be getting late too. I’ll take care of her. I am taking a day off.”.
“Hey, you knew Leah was sick?” he asked Cassie whispering.
“uh no, not really. No”
Harry looked at her, eyebrows frowned and head slightly tilted.
Cassie sighed heavily and said, “Ugh fine. You know please don’t tell anyone I told you this but there was this guy in Leah’s class who like asked her out and Leah obviously said no because as I told you before, she has a crush on that girl who works in the ice cream shop. But dad damn that girl really is hot. I mean Leah always told me that she was but you know when I actually went there I was like dayum what the-“
“Cassie, Cassie, you are going out of track.” Harry cut her off.
“Oh yeah, sorry, so where was I? Yeah, so our dude Caleb, you know the guy who proposed her, took some inspiration from Wattpad and decided to bully her. You know cuz ‘no one rejects me and maybe she’ll fall in love with me if I become the bad guy.’ So, yeah these guys bully her, you know and all her classmates don’t talk to her either because they don’t want to be on her place. You know what I mean? Like Caleb is the football captain and all the football guys follow him like sheep and well the popular girls just want to be friends with the popular ones and the others don’t want no problems, so yeah, that’s it.”
“I kinda tried to talk to her and told her that we can tell mom and dad but she went ballistic on me. She was like ‘I’ll handle my matters on my own. You don’t need to interfere.’”
“What’ this Caleb guy’s full name?”
“Okay, now you take your stuff. You buss will be here anytime.”
You said your goodbyes to Cassie before giving her a kiss. You were about to go to Leah’s room when you saw Harry. He was wearing his leather jacket. It was your favourite on him. he also had his sunglasses in his hands.
“Bye, handsome” you said walking to him.
He leaned in gave you a kiss.
“Sorry beautiful I know I got you real hot over here but work calls. Maybe, when I return.”
He gave you another kiss before cupping your cheeks and whispering, “I love you. you’re the best.”
“I love you too” you said giving is palm soft kisses.
You went to Leah’s room and started cleaning it a little bit. You saw her stirring before she woke up.
“Oh my god. What the hell. I am so late. Why didn’t you wake me up?” she said in a rushed tone, her hair all over the place.
“Hey, hey , hey, calm down. You aren’t going to school today.”
“Oh, uh why?”
You went over to her and hugged her tight as she relaxed into you.
“You thought if you won’t tell your mother she won’t know something’s wrong hm? I might be a little late though.Baby, my sweet girl. I love you so much.”
You could feel her tears wetting your shoulders. You pulled away from her and cupped her cheeks before wiping her tears and kissing her forehead.
“You can go take a shower while I clean your room and do the laundry. And after that, we can have some mother- daughter time.”
“hm but you don’t have to do all this cleaning. It’s a lot.”
“Shh, go take get all cleaned up.”
As you did the laundry you couldn’t help but blame yourself for this. How did you not realise this earlier. You still didn’t know what exactly happened but you did know she was depressed. Were you not a good mother? Did she not trust you enough to share her feelings with you?
Growing up, you had always thought about how you’ll be the best mom. You never wanted to be like your parents. You never wanted to be the parent whose kid had to hide stuff from her, whose kid couldn’t talk to her, who said that so many people can’t hate you for no reason and there must be some fault in you, whose kid cried on her bed every night. But apparently you weren’t successful.
Harry arrived the school in his sports car, and sunglasses on. The classes were going on so he didn’t see any student outside. He went to the Principal’s office and talked to him about everything that was happening.
“I am so sorry Mr. Styles. I had no idea. We can rusticate these students right now if you want me to.” The principal said.
“No, I just want to have a talk to this guy, Caleb Barton.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll call him right now.”
The room was cleaned and you were making Leah’s hair.
“Does dad know?”
“You know, that I am kinda depressed and all. I mean I don’t wanna look weak to him.”
You knew it already. She was so much like you that you could see through her like a glass.
“He doesn’t know and even if he did he would never think you to be weak.”
“Mom” she said
“Please don’t think it’s your fault because it isn’t. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to bother you. I am sorry. You are the best mom anyone could ever ask for.”
“Don’t say sorry baby and you could never bother me. It’s okay. You wanna rest?”
“Yeah. Uh can you stay with me?”
“Sure baby. Come here.” You said as she laid her head on your lap, your fingers playing with her freshly braided hair.
“Oh my god, you are, what the hell, you are”
“W-what? Oh I had no idea sir.”
“Well you must know that it’s my dream that people treat each other with kindness.”
“Well I know what you did to my daughter and I really wanna beat the shit out of you right now but you are lucky you are a kid. Tell me one thing what do you get by bullying people? Why do you get off on hurting someone? Don’t you feel remorse, guilt?”
“I am sorry I-“
“No, it’s not just about my daughter. It’s about every person you hurt. Do you ever think what your actions cause? How much they could hurt a person? High school is a time you want to remember for the good things but just imagine someone couldn’t think about High school without getting sad, without feeling terrible because of people like you.”
“I am sorry” He seemed to get a little guilty but Harry wasn’t done yet.
“You know, you were about to get rusticated. You can say I saved you so yeah, you owe me. So do me one favour, be kind. And if you couldn’t then I’ll have to choose some not so kind ways too. If something happens again I’ll have you rusticated from school and take a legal action against you and that’ll involve your parents too so I hope you understood. Well thank you for your time.”
“Yes sir. I am sorry once again.”
Harry started walking before turning back to him and saying, “and I don’t want Leah to know about this interaction. And you know what I don’t want you to even look at her.”
“Sure sir. I am sorry. I just, it hurt my ego when she said no to me. I am sorry.”
As he was exiting the campus a girl screamed, “Oh my God that’s Harry Styles” and soon enough there was a huge crowd of students asking for pictures and all. The principal had to practically drag them back to their classes.
As Harry was walking to his car, Cassie walked to him.
“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be in class?”
“Yeah, I’ll go I just came to ask you what you did.”
“Eh nothing. Just had a little talk with the boy.”
“Well I was really hoping for you to beat him to shit or something. I mean I really want to.”
Cassie was learning judo and she was also great at boxing while Leah was better in painting, writing and stuff. A smirk grew on Harry’s face.
“Who’s stopping you?”
“Yeah, just don’t hurt yourself in the process and don’t tell mom.”
“Don’t worry, it won’t be the first time I beat someone.”
Leah had already had dinner and had gone to sleep. You had a lot of fun together. You baked, you drew and she also told you what the reason of her despair was. You wanted to help but she said she would handle it. You were planning on talking to the principal though but Harry told you that he went to her school and talked to the principal. Cassie was asleep too and you were ready to sleep. Harry said he wanted to check on Leah and was in her room.
‘You didn’t tell her about this, right’ you asked when he entered the room.
“Nah. Just acted like I thought she was sick and read her a bedtime story. Gosh it has been ages since I read my baby a bedtime story. Why do kids grow up so fast.”
“You are the best father, you know.”
“Baby, I try but you my love are the best mom in this planet. The absolute best.”
“How was your day?” you asked Leah
“It was surprisingly good.” Leah answered.
“Well of course it was good. I mean the ice cream girl-“
“Cass” Leah cut her off.
“Okay, I am quiet.”
As soon as Leah left the room Cassie started talking.
“Okay guys, you remember that ice cream girl. Well, she gave Leah free ice cream and asked her if she was free this Saturday. She didn't know I was with her so I didn't get a free ice cream but never mind. Even though I got a little hutr not gonna lie. ”
you both laughed at that. This was the perfect family you could ever ask for.
“Wait, well Cassie I got a call from your teacher that you broke some one’s nose.” You said.
“No, no mom it’s literal exaggeration. It was a punch but I definitely didn’t ‘break’ his nose.”
“He must have deserved it baby. Calm down.”
“Well, just don’t hit someone again. You yourself can get hurt baby.”
‘Okay mama promise.” she said hugging you.
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