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seriouslysam8 · 1 year

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Hey Sam, in Brumous does Molly have any reservations with her children living in the same household as Harry who’s being possessed by Voldemort? Does she have reservations about Ron and Harry’s friendship? Or realizing Harry and Ginny have feelings for one another and it could dangerous for her to get involved with him (especially after what she went through with the diary and Voldemort recognizing her)? I know she loves Harry but wouldn’t every mother want to protect her own children before someone else’s?

This is long. I started to ramble because this is so fucking personal to me and I’m going to explain this the best way I can.

Family is complicated.

Connections and bonds are just as powerful (or in some cases more powerful) than blood.

Molly is very family-oriented. She loves her children more than anything in the entire world. They are quite literally her entire life because she never had a job nor does she have many friends before the Order. We see her always talking to Tonks in canon and meddling with Remadora, so one can assume she was amazingly close with Tonks out of everyone. She lost both of her siblings in the war. We know nothing about her parents so I gave those two a backstory as well for the AU but we can assume they’re not in the picture for one reason or another.

But another thing we know about Molly is that she is willing and happy to accept people into her house and treat them like family. Harry and Hermione being the big two. She welcomed Tonks and Remus into her home for Christmas. She moved her entire family into Grimmauld Place (and it couldn’t have just been for protection reasons because they were right at the Burrow the following years) but I think because she genuinely wanted to be with Harry and knew Harry, if he was leaving the Dursleys, would go with Sirius. I think she knew Sirius needed a bit of guidance and a calming presence. While they fought over Harry in the book, there had to have been respect and friendship there. She trusted Sirius to watch her kids when Arthur was attacked and Sirius did it without even batting an eye. I like to think, though we didn’t see it, there was some mutual respect and friendship between those two during OOTP. Because Molly collects strays and cares for them. Sirius is one of the biggest strays to ever exist.

Molly counts Harry as family. She saw this abused and scared eleven year old alone at King’s Cross. Ron must have written to tell her all about Harry and she knitted him a jumper for Christmas to make sure he had a gift - a gift that she always makes for her family. She allowed him into her home during the summers, giving him a safe haven and making sure he was taken care of. There’s no way she didn’t fret all of POA and GOF. I mean… the hug after Voldemort came back… MY HEART.

Look, I didn’t have the best upbringing. I’ve mentioned that before. I have a found family. I have a MIL who treats me like I’m her own kid and is overprotective of me. She’s willing to throw down arms if my egg-donor comes anywhere near me. She is my Molly Weasley. And I love her as though she were my own mother. She showed me how a proper mother should act and I am more grateful for her than I could put into words. She met this anxious and abused girl who was dating her son x amount of years ago and decided I was as much of a daughter to her as her real daughters. She treated me like that since day fucking one. I remember, to this day, the warm hug she gave me the first day I met her. I smile every time she introduces me as her daughter. Not her daughter-in-law but her fucking daughter. I remember her going with me to pick out my wedding dress and seeing her cry. I laugh every time she says she’s out running errands and she’s near my house so if I’m home then she’s fucking on her way and to put on coffee so we can chat. She is the very embodiment of Molly Weasley a person can get.

So no. Molly isn’t worried for Ginny or Ron to be around Harry. She’s ecstatic at the prospect of Hinny to officially have Harry into the family. Though that doesn’t really matter because he’ll always be family. She worries and cares for him like any of her other kids. She has accepted those in Harry’s orbit into her fold. (Even in canon she did this by living at Grimmauld and then having Remus for Christmas during HBP). She saw this abused little boy who is steadily growing into a man she respects and admires. She loves him. She fucking loves him. He is her family.

Bonds and connections… they form family. Blood means fucking nothing. Harry is her family. She loves him. She’s not abandoning him or separating her kids from him because of the dangers. They are at war. They are a part of a vigilante group. They’re all in danger.

Harry is her kid. End of discussion.

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these-conquered-woodlands · 2 years

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some 70s hp kids incorrect quotes in honor of the characters that got me into this fandom in the first place-

(this is also kind of a mildly deranged everyone-gets-along-and-then-lives-past-the-war au)

peter: What makes you all smile? james: Friends. remus: Snacks. lily: Success. severus: Face muscles.

peter: Don't go to the kitchen. sirius: Why? peter: I saw a spider. sirius: Well, did you kill it? peter: It has 8 arms and I only have 2, it's not fair...

severus: Dracula had it right. Sleep all day, live alone in a castle, and explode into bats to get out of all social situations.

sirius: I have good news and bad news. minerva, sighing: Oh, Black. what’s the bad news? sirius: The kangaroo won’t get out of the tub. minerva: minerva: We don’t have a kangaroo, this is Hogwarts. sirius: Now onto the good news!

severus: I keep a picture of all of us in my wallet. Whenever I face difficulties, I take it out and stare at the picture. marauders: Awwww- severus: And I tell myself, "If I can deal with these idiots, then I can deal with anything." marauders:

james: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me :,) How did you even get here so fast? severus: Several traffic violations- remus: Three counts of resisting arrest- sirius: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks- severus: Also, that’s not our car.

sirius: The clock is ticking! We have awfully little time for this asinine tomfoolery! severus: This unmitigated poppycock! lily: This extravagant hogwash! james: Okay stop-

- lily: She was poetry, but he couldn't read- severus: His name was Jared, he's 19- sirius: When his parents built a very strange machine- peter, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen- james, singing: Eyyyyyyyy, Macarena! flitwick, leading choir practice:

severus: Why isn’t the statue smiling at me? james: It isn’t smiling at anyone, they’re all just imagining it. remus: Three of us saw it, james. How do you explain that? james: (points at remus) Sleep deprivation. (points at peter) Paranoia. (points at sirius) A simple case of the excessive consumption of alcohol.

lily: So if our plan goes poorly, where should we meet up? remus: The afterlife, I guess?

severus: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, James Fleabag Potter, are a fucking cactus.

sirius: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK. peter: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG. sirius: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO. peter: NaBrO. remus: I'm done with all of you.

sirius: You're a lying piece of shit! remus: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD! james: I'm leaving and I'm taking Sirius with me! lily, gathering toy cash: -Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.

sirius: We’re getting married, bitches! remus: And we're about to make it everybody else's problem.

sirius: So, Lily is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night. severus : Why? sirius: Because I've caught them trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row. lily, scowling: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your arse next time you get into a headlock with Marlene.

peter: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins? severus: Can't relate. james: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

marlene: Man, they look like a real handful. How do you deal with them? severus, watching james screaming, lily trying to set a sleeping sirius on fire, remus making the leaning tower of Pisa from chocolate frogs in the common room, and peter choking on air: I don't know honestly.

lily: Can we talk about the school-wide letter you just sent out? james: It's a critical update. lily: This just says, "I'm back on my bullshit" james: People need to know

sirius: I never make the same mistake twice. lily: That is true. sirius: See? lily: He makes it four or five times just to be sure. sirius: Exact- WAIT NO-

lily: Severus took the wheels off of my heels and I feel like Lucifer being stripped off his wings lily: I have to walk down hallways like a common wench now and I am LIVID

#yes i have made lily a feral one indeed #severus snape #james potter #lily evans #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew #marauders #harry potter #hp incorrect quotes #marlene mckinnon

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come-along-pond · 1 year

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TEN FACTS ABOUT EVERY HP OC YOU HAVE GO

Are you ready for 80 facts??? NDKDKEKEK. EIGHTY.

Under the cut because good lord. Thank you for indulging me❤️. I may actually have another OC I want to introduce 😭

Universe 1:

Grace Marsh:

The sorting hat nearly put her in Ravenclaw

Her marauder nickname is ‘Felis’

Her Animagi is a grey tabby cat

The first friend she makes at Hogwarts is James

Marlene is her best female friend

Became the girls dorms pet as a cat and The Marauders tease her endlessly for it

She got pregnant a few months after leaving hogwarts

The first person she told about her pregnancy was Remus

bought Sirius a promise ring in seventh year

born March 1960

Amelie Black:

Is actually amazing at non verbal magic (it’s the Black family vibes djdkke)

She becomes a transfiguration teacher at hogwarts

Her middle name is Marlene

Urged Harry to complete his 7th year with Hermione, and then to become to DADA teacher

Fell in love with Fred in her 4th year when he comforted her through her father’s escape from azkaban

She was born in May 1979

Runs away from the malfoy’s in the summer before her fifth year

destroys the black family tapestry after the war

Never felt close to her mother until she realised she was also pregnant at 19

is the best auntie to the next gen weasleys

Flynn Early:

Muggle baby

Fell in love with Amelie the moment he saw her

Legit spent 5 months trying to figure out if any of the random men picking up the twins from primary school were dating Amelie (later found out it was their long list of uncles)

Became a massive Quidditch fan, Amelie takes him to one of Ginny’s games after she reveals the magical world to him and he is HYPED

When he and Amelie get married, he takes her surname

He’s irish!

He’s a teacher! He’s a trainee when he meets Amelie

Asked for George, Ginny and Harry’s permission to propose to Amelie (and the twins but they were like 7)

Once saw a picture of Sirius and went ‘God your dad was hot’

Went to Harry ‘Jesus Christ man you need therapy’

Grace Weasley-Black:

She’s a ravenclaw!

Cried when she saw Fred’s portrait at Hogwarts

Is very much a mummy’s girl, although her relationship with Amelie is rocky at times

actually loves Flynn, thinks he’s the best step dad ever

Loves uncle Harry

Middle name is Minerva

She’s a Ravenclaw!

Is James Sirius’ bad influence

Older Twin

Is a tea person

Ginevra Weasley-Black:

Her nickname is ‘Dora’ as her middle name is Nymphadora.

She’s a Gryffindor

Looks up to Ginny SO MUCH

Misses a father she never met because she KNOWS she would have been a daddy’s girl

Younger Twin

is a coffee person

Gets on with George SO well. This girl is a weasley through and through

teases Teddy about him being her god brother and god uncle dkdkkdkek

is the gryffindor team’s chaser

born on the 25th of Jan 1999

Universe 2:

Freyja Trelawney:

Ravenclaw girlies unite ndjdjd

Her singular seer vision is of Harry dying in Deathly Hallows

In her 20s she starts doing tarot readings in the muggle world

She was always a little bit jealous of the golden trio, she wanted a friendship like that

Her and Luna are besties

Her aunt gives her pocket money in her hogwarts years

Her father took her mother’s name

Her fav season is Spring

She hates drawing, just can’t get the hang of it

Harry took her to a pottery class once and she adores it now

Lucy Porter:

She was homeschooled

Her father’s a muggleborn

Her mother a pureblood

She comes from a family of hufflepuffs

her dad sent her to a primary school as a kid

She wanted to become a hairdresser when she was little

She identifies as queer

owns several pairs of heart shaped sunglasses

her fav colour is yellow

she hates hot chocolate

Universe 3:

Violetta Black:

Cried when she heard the news that Sirius was a gryffindor, because she knew her family would never forgive him

used to sneak out of her room when she had nightmares and go to Sirius

This changes to Regulus in Hogwarts

James saw some Gryffindors giving her shit and absolutely demolished them. neither mentioned it ever again

Narcissa teaches her how to be a ‘lady’, how to lie and keep your personality in the face of powerful men

Sirius taught her how to do eyeliner

She cut her hair in fifth year after Regulus’s death, eventually letting it grow over the next 2 years.

Never believed Sirius betrayed The Potters

She was in her seventh year at Hogwarts when Sirius was arrested

Remus finds Sirius sobbing in Violetta’s room after her death, clinging on to a locket she wore, he never knew it held a portrait of him and Regulus as children until after she died.

#it has taken me all day to do this lol #tw: hp #oc: Freyja Trelawney #oc: lucy porter #oc: grash marsh #oc: amelia black #oc: Ginevra weasley black #oc: Grace weasley black #oc: violetta black

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atlasdoe · 2 years

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Just Survivors snippet

Atlas is bored so you know what that means, here's a long snippet of my Emmeline after the war WIP

Nobody really reads my writing or cares that much but i'm posting anyway For context it is the 23rd of December 1981 and Emmeline is attending an traditional drink for former Ravenclaws

She did, in the end, go to the drinks. Pandora had welcomed her with open arms the moment she saw her enter the small pub.

“I’m so glad you could make it,” she beamed holding her close. “I already got you a drink. C’mon, we’re sat over in that corner,” she pointed to a table in the back where Kingsley, Xenophilius, and Hestia were already sat. They waved when they saw her, she tried her best to smile back.

Hestia Jones was always someone Emmeline was unsure about. She was her and Marlene's roommate in school, but she spent much more time outside of the dorm than inside. Mostly because she and Marlene didn't get along.

Emmeline couldn't remember when their rivalry began but over their years at Hogwarts Marlene and Hestia had probably said more horrid things to each other than they did nice.

Emmeline had always been the middle man. It was clear to everyone involved that she was Marlene's friend first and foremost but she never took anything out on Hestia. She never had anything against her, in fact, Emmeline was usually the one pleading Hestia's case most of the time. If it wasn't for Emmeline then Marlene would've never put Hestia on the Quidditch team in ‘76. But Hestia didn't know that, and they had never really been friends.

Despite this, Hestia's smile was still wide as Emmeline approached them. She acted as if there was never any conflict between the two of them ever, and Emmeline guessed she was right, it didn't make it any less weird though.

The first hour or so was spent talking about anything other than the war. Multiple people came to their table to catch up and take pictures but none of the five ever went looking for anyone themselves. However, Emmeline quickly learned that with her and Kingsley as members of the Order of the Phoenix most people found themselves putting them on some sort of podium for actively fighting in the war. After that, it was easy to figure out who exactly needed to be at the bar to get drinks bought for them.

In total Emmeline had fifteen drinks brought for her that night (Kingsley twenty.) She was on her fourth when the war was finally brought up.

“Did you ever find out what happened to Caradoc?” Was the question that brought the conversation of war up, asked by Pandora who Emmeline was sure wouldn’t be asking so casually if she was sober.

(When Emmeline thought about it when she got home that night she remembered how close Pandora had been with Caradoc and figured it was a question she had been dying to ask all night.)

“No, we never found out,’ Kingsley answered. “He’s presumed dead, but there was no body to bury.”

“There was also no family to bury it,” Emmeline added in a mumble. “Parents were killed weren't they?”

Kingsley nodded while Pandora sighed, leaning back in her chair. “It would’ve been nice for Benjy to have the closure though.”

Emmeline shook her head, “Would’ve done him no good. He didn’t die long after that.”

“A month,” Kingsley supplied. “A week after Dorcas.”

“Still,” Pandora continued. “Maybe things would’ve been different if he knew.”

They were silent for a second and Emmeline thought that the subject would be changed. But after quickly drinking all of what was her fifth drink she realized that this would probably be the only opportunity she got to properly discuss everything that had happened, and get any answers that she needed. So she asked the question that had been on her mind for months.

“Is Remus dead?” she asked bluntly.

Hestia, Pandora, and Xenophilius all turned to look at Kingsley who shook his head but kept his eyes on his glass. “No, he isn’t dead.”

“I thought Black had killed him,” Xenophilius commented.

Kingsley finally looked up and finished his drink. “You and everyone else in the fucking wizarding world - Nah, Black didn’t kill him… Not physically anyway.”

“Have you seen him?”

He nodded, “Briefly… We had him come into the ministry for questioning. Y’know with Black and all it could’ve been possible that he knew something that we didn’t.”

Emmeline nodded along as he spoke, her chin now resting in her hand as she held onto his every word. “People in the Order thought he was a spy,” she said, remembering the arguments that had gone on during some of the Order's last days. Nobody trusted anyone, and with Remus constantly going in and out it seemed like the only person to trust him was Dorcas. Even the Marauders were keeping their distance.

Kingsey nodded again, “Apparently we worried for nothing,” he told them, anger filling up his voice slightly. “Dumbledore knew what he was doing the entire time. He just never told anyone.”

Hestia’s face scrunched up when he said that. “Why wouldn’t he tell anyone?” she questioned. “If Dumbledore had been honest about Remus then maybe someone would’ve been able to spot the differences in Black.”

Kingsley only shrugged before getting up. “I need another drink,” he announced. “What’s everyone getting?”

They all gave him their orders and he left to the already crowded bar.

Once he had left Emmeline wasted no time with her next question. “Do you reckon Mary knows? Do you know if she’s come back yet?”

Mary MacDonald, a Gryffindor in the year below Emmeline, was a dear friend to most of the Order. She was a muggleborn and after she was attacked in her fourth year at Hogwarts became very active in muggle's rights. In 1979 she was set to join the Order with the rest of them but sadly didn't make it past her first mission.

Emmeline was on the mission with her. The two of them, along with Lily, Alice, Marlene, and Dorcas, were sent to Lestrange manor to save a family of muggles who was being held captive there. This family of muggles in particular were relatives of the current Minister of Magic and freeing them was anything but a walk in the park.

They had failed the mission and the family had been killed right in front of them. If it wasn’t for Dorcas’ quick thinking the witches would’ve never made it out alive themselves. They had gotten too cocky and because of it, four innocent lives were lost. They all took it to heart, but none like Mary.

Emmeline had never seen anyone truly break down before that night. She hadn’t known what to do when Mary fell to the floor of the Orders headquarters screaming and sobbing and she clung to Marlene like she was some sort of life jacket.

It was possibly one of the most heartbreaking sights she had ever witnessed, and the stuttered gasps that left Mary's mouth were more warning of how hard this war was going to be than Dumbeldore had ever given them.

Marlene and Lily took her into the other room for privacy and when they came out they told the others that Mary had decided to not officially join the Order. The news left everyone on edge. Mary was the best of them, she was confident and proud and fearless. Mary was braver than any one of them, she was a lioness, to see her cower away was something that nobody was ever expecting and her departure caused more members to question how far they were really willing to go for the war.

Emmeline wasn’t surprised when Marlene told her that she was one of those people. Marlene was a lot of things, protective, clever, and the strongest person Emmeline knew. But a fighter she was not. If Marlene was seeking justice she was making signs, having important conversations, and preaching rights. She wasn’t dueling strangers and she definitely wasn’t putting everything she held dear on the line because an old guy told her that it was the only way. Marlene wanted to find another way, and she could’ve - if Mary had never sent out those goddamn letters.

She had sent out five. One to James, one to Lily, one to Dirk, one to Remus, and one to Marlene. Emmeline didn’t get to read any of them in full but from what she gathered they all said around the same thing.

I’m leaving the wizarding world. I refuse to put my family in danger. I love you. I will be back once Voldemort is gone.

Upon hearing the news Emmeline had been fearful that Marlene would follow, but instead, she had done the opposite and decided that the sooner the war was over the sooner Mary would come back.

Marlene had pledged her allegiance to the Order the next day.

And now it had been almost two months since the end of the war, and Mary still hadn't come back.

“She must’ve heard,” Hestia said. “It wasn’t like anyone was trying to hide it. There were reports on the muggle news about shooting stars and owls, only an idiot wouldn’t have figured it out.”

“But maybe Mary didn’t see the news,” Xenophilius added. “Did she say where she went?”

All three girls shook their heads. Xenophilius nodded and took another swig of his drink.

“I don’t think she would’ve stayed in England,” Pandora said. “Or anywhere in the UK for that fact. There's no point in running away when the death eaters were attacking up and down the country.”

“Could she have gone to Ireland?”

“No,” Emmeline responded quickly. “No, Ireland wouldn’t be safe. Marlene was from Ireland and she was killed in her childhood home.”

“Who did kill Marlene?” Hestia asked suddenly.

Emmeline looked at her with furrowed eyebrows. “I don’t know,” she told her in a small voice. “I was never told. I didn’t want to know in all honesty… Didn’t want to do something stupid.”

Hestia let out a small chuckle, “Well that didn’t stop Dorcas did it? From what I heard at least.”

Emmeline’s eyes hardened as Pandora's hand reached out to hold her knee. She was asking her to bite her tongue, to let it go, and maybe if Marlene and Dorcas were alive she would’ve. But neither of them had given their lives to the war for a prat like Hestia Jones to make jokes about it.

“Bold of you to laugh about a war you didn’t fight in,” she said as calmly as she could muster. Emmeline had never liked conflict, she could feel her heart beating out of her chest already. Still, she went on. “Remind me again why you chose to just sit by and watch the world go up in flames.”

Hestia didn’t look phased; like she had been expecting it. “Because I’m not an idiot who will do anything Dumbledore will say,” she said simply.

Emmeline opened her mouth to respond, but Hestia wasn’t done there.

“I understand that some people are so scared of being irrelevant that they will join a war just to make their lives interesting, but unlike you, Vance, I don't need a thumbs up from the Ministry to make me feel good about myself. Because later on tonight while you’re still here finishing off all those drinks you got brought for you I will be home with my very much alive family and friends thanking all the gods above that we didn’t let our egos get us killed.”

Neither girl hesitated when they saw the other move. They both stood up, pushing the table slightly towards each other. Emmeline didn't know if she wanted to hex or hit Hestia, but unfortunately, she didn't get a chance to do either as the moment they stood, Kingsley came back with the drinks.

“You two better not be leaving,” he joked. “These drinks just coast that gentlemen at the bar 15 galleons.”

“No,” Hestia said confidently before sitting back down. “I’m not leaving.”

“Neither am I,” Emmeline added, also sitting down but much more slowly.

“...Okay then,” Kingsley drew out clearly sensing the tension. He put the drinks on the table and also sat down, keeping his usual smile stitched onto his face. “What are we talking about?”

Pandora didn't miss a beat, “Barty Crouch,” she said, quickly adding, “Jr. Have you heard anything on him?”

Emmeline took note of how Pandora’s voice lifted slightly, her eyes were wide as Kingsley shook his head. “No. Why? Should we?”

“Yeah, wasn’t he friends with a bunch of death eaters?” Hestia butted in.

Hex her. Emmeline wanted to hex her. With a really good one too.

Pandora shook her head vigorously as Xenophilius took her hand from beneath the table. “I was friends with him during school, wasn’t I? Was just checking that he was okay, he’s been… quiet.”

“Probably to do with his father,” Kingsley replied and a cheerful tone. “He’s starting up at the Ministry for the new year.”

“But he was friends with a bunch of death eaters,” Hestia repeated. “Shouldn’t you look into that?”

Kingsley shrugged, “I don’t see why. He was a Slytherin he was bound to make friends with death eaters. That doesn’t mean that he’s one, just look at Dorcas and Benjy.”

“Yeah, but Dorcas and Benjy had friends outside of their house, from what I know Barty didn’t.”

“Barty did,” Pandora snapped, her face going bright red. “Barty had me.”

Hestia rolled her eyes but backed off.

They had changed the subject after that, never even mentioning the war again until Hestia, Pandora and Xenophilius had left. Kingsley and Emmeline had attempted to leave at least twice each but every time they went to standup yet another person would come up to them offering to buy them a drink.

It was one in the morning when they finally managed to get out, and despite them heading separate ways, Kingsley insisted on walking her home.

They walked in silence for the most part, until Emmeline spoke up.

“Do you regret it?” She asked as they entered her street. “Joining the Order.”

Kingsley shook his head without hesitation, “I helped take down one of the darkest wizards the world has ever seen. I prevented so many deaths that it would be selfish of me to want to take any of it back.”

Emmeline took his answer to heart.

#Harry Potter #the marauders #the marauders era #the marauders fanfic #emmeline vance #pandora lovegood #kingsley shacklebolt #hestia jones #barty crouch jr #regulus black #James Potter #Remus Lupin #Sirius Black #wolfstar #jily #Edgar Bones #marlene mckinnon #dorcas meadowes #Mary MacDonald

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inthewild-flowers · 3 years

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Remus is twenty-one years old, and he’s fighting a war.

He barely sees his friends anymore, and when he does, each one looks more exhausted, more hopeless, than the last.

One day in June, while Remus is bouncing Harry on his knee and Sirius is sitting on the couch next to him, cooing at the baby, and they’re feeling almost happy for the first time in months, James tells them “we’re going into hiding.”

He asks Sirius to be the secret keeper, and Sirius agrees, but Remus doesn’t miss the shifty look in his eyes. He hands Harry back to James.

Later, he asks Sirius why he seemed nervous.

Sirius tells him it’s because it’s a frightening thing, to be responsible for his best friend’s safety. Remus doesn’t push the subject.

They spend the next two months dancing around that conversation, Remus wanting to bring it up and Sirius dodging his questions.

Then, Sirius disappears for an afternoon and comes back looking almost relieved. He smiles at Remus when he comes back, and Remus can’t help but wonder where he was, what he did. He kisses him anyway.

He kisses him because he loves him, because loving Sirius is a habit he’s never been able to break, not in school when he thought that loving Sirius would kill him, and not now when he thinks that Sirius might kill them all. It keeps him up at night sometimes.

It’s late August when Remus is sent on his mission. He doesn’t know how long it will last. He can’t tell Sirius about it, isn’t allowed, just tells him that he’s leaving and he’ll try to send him an owl before he comes back.

Sirius looks at him like he doesn’t believe him, and Remus can’t find it in himself to care, but at the same time he cares so much it hurts.

“I love you,” he says. He touches Sirius’s cheek, and Sirius leans into it. His eyes are shining with tears. Remus knows that his match.

“I love you too,” Sirius whispers, and Remus hugs him with all the strength in his body. He worries that if he lets go, he’ll never hug Sirius again.

Sirius’s arms are so tight around Remus that he can hardly breathe. He doesn’t mind. It hurts a bit, but it reminds him that he’s real, that they’re both real, and that their love is real and good and worth fighting for.

Sirius moves back, but his hands still rest on Remus’s waist as he stares at him, drinking him in.

“Stay here for a moment.”

Remus nods. Sirius gives him a small smile, then goes into the bedroom. He comes out a moment later holding his camera.

Remus raises an eyebrow.

“Please, Moony? I want––I need this. I need to remember you if––” He doesn’t finish the sentence, but Remus knows. If you don’t come back. It’s all everyone’s thinking about. If someone doesn’t come back, if they’ll have another funeral, if they’ll be left with nothing but memories of yet another classmate. Remus nods.

“Yeah, Pads, go ahead.”

Remus can’t manage a smile. All he can think about is how Dorcas keeps a picture of Marlene tucked in her pocket, proof that she did exist once, that there was a time before the war, before all of this hurt and grief. Remus wonders what Sirius will do if he doesn’t come back. He wonders what he’ll do if one day Sirius doesn’t come back.

The camera shutter clicks, and Sirius smiles at him. It’s a small, sad smile, and it’s the one Remus is used to now. It hurts to remember that there was a time when he had never seen that smile. He wishes he had never become so familiar with it.

Sirius kisses him before he leaves, pulls their bodies close, holds Remus tightly.

“Come back to me,” he whispers.

“I will,” Remus promises. “I will.”

It’s the last time he sees Sirius.

It’s November when he gets back, and Dumbledore tells him what happened. It’s a dark, cold, wet day when he bursts into the flat, unable to believe it, but Sirius isn’t there, and the picture of Remus is on the kitchen table, and on the back Sirius has written Moony, my love, and Remus starts sobbing, and he’s curled up on the floor as his body shakes and the rain pounding against the windows matches the tears pouring down his face, and all he can think is that they’re gone, they’re gone, James and Lily are dead and it’s Sirius’s fault.

It turns out that love is an easy habit to break when it turns into hate.

part 2

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messers-moony · 3 years

Text

Tomorrow | S.B

Paring: Sirius Black X Wife!Reader

Summary: James is nervous to marry Lily so he asks his best friend how he managed to marry his wife.

A/N: I know that this is vote number one instead of number two (which won) however, I decided to scrap what I had for number two because it wasn’t good. This is better and I’ll continue to rewrite number two until it’s to my standards. I hope you understand.

His hands were sweaty. He was nervously pulling his hair which received multiple slaps from his best friend for ruining his hair. James stepped foot in the full-length mirror readjusting his bow tie while Sirius stood behind him, chuckling at his nervous best friend.

James sighed, “How’d you do it, Pads?”

“Mm?”

“How did you marry Y/n?”

Sirius chuckled, “Have you turned daft?”

James tilted his head in confusion, “You were my best man! You were there the entire time.” Sirius replied playfully.

“No, no, I mean, how did you really do it? Like step on the altar and marry her?”

“I just did?” Sirius answered, and James gave him a look, “Bullshit.”

“Okay, fine! Fine!” Sirius relented, “I was practically shitting myself. Y/n means a lot to me, ya’ know?”

James was silent, letting his best friend rant about his wife, “Y/n means everything to me. She’s been with me through thick and thin. There’s nothing more I wanted than to marry her even if it was in the midst of this war.”

“You’ve been chasing Lily for years, mate. I can promise you that she wouldn’t have said yes if she didn’t really want to.” Sirius assured.

“You’re sure?” James inquired insecurely, “I’m one hundred percent sure.”

A knock resonated on the door with a soft voice on the other side, “It’s just me!”

The female voice on the other side of the door walked in, styled h/c hair and makeup placed upon her face. She was greeted with Sirius, and a hug pulled tightly into his chest. She saw James looking at them nervously, and she let go of Sirius to hug James tightly.

“You’re going to be okay? I promise.” She stated, pulling apart to look at his hazel eyes, “Lily loves you. Godric, she loves you more than anything!”

“Thanks, Y/n.” James smiled softly, and Y/n pulled her lips to his ear to whisper, “Lily’s liked you since second year.”

James and Y/n laughed as they pulled apart, “But that stays between us!”

“Oi!” Sirius interjected playfully, “Taking my wife, are you?”

“Never.” James replied smiling, all nerves having left, “Thank you both for being here. Seriously it means a lot to me.”

They smiled, “Anytime.”

Someone cracked open the door and spoke, “We need the maid of honor and the best man so we can start.”

“Suppose that’ll be us?” Sirius questioned teasingly, “I think so.” Y/n smiled.

Y/n kissed James’ cheek, “You’ll do fine, and we’ll see you soon.”

“Of course, Mrs.Black.”

Sirius wrapped his arm around Y/n as they walked out to the aisle and altar. Sirius took his spot on the right and Y/n on the left. Smiling at each other from the side, remembering what it was like only a few months ago when they got married. When Lily was in the maid of honor spot and James was in the best man spot. Now roles were reversed.

James stepped out, gaining a reassuring smile from them both. Lily following not too far after with her father. James and Lily looked like lovesick puppies. It was adorable. Vows were exchanged, and tears were shed, especially from James and Lily. On the alter, someone took pictures of the four of them together. Sirius told an absurd joke making them all laugh. A picture was taken at the exact moment.

It was nice. Y/n and Sirius sat at a table together. His arm was around her shoulders as they watched their best friends dance together and laugh together. Sirius took the clips out of his wife’s hair and scratched her scalp, causing her to move into his hand. Multiple hours of clips in Y/n’s hair gave her headache, and Sirius was relieving it.

“Feel nice, love?”

“Yes, these bloody clips. Make sure you save them. I’m going to throw them at Lily later.” Y/n stated, and Sirius chuckled, “Mhm, okay.”

Hours later, James and Lily began to act like fools. Y/n picked up one of the clips from the table, aiming precisely with some help from Sirius - a former Quidditch Beater - and threw it at her. At first, she didn’t notice, but after the third one, she did. The smile on her face was unmistakable.

Lily picked up the three clips and turned toward her maid of honor with her hair down completely. Another one was thrown at her, and Lily laughed loudly. Then one was thrown at Y/n and Sirius. Fortunately, Lily threw it and missed Y/n completely, instead hitting Sirius right in the face. James, Lily, and Y/n were laughing like the only people in the building.

“Oi!” Sirius yelled, “Control your wife, Prongs!”

Y/n stood up, reaching a hand out for Sirius, “C’mon Siri. Let’s go join them.”

Sirius smirked and took her hand, joining their best friend dancing together, jumping around like fifth-year Gryffindors in the common room. They looked like complete idiots, but that didn’t matter. Lily and Y/n holding hands, twirling each other around, laughing together. James and Sirius began to throw the clips at each other. Remus and Peter were on the side watching the idiots.

Lily and Y/n traded. Y/n danced with James, and Lily danced with Sirius. The girls could remember back in sixth year complaining about their boyfriends in the girl's dorms but always remembering that they love their idiots. When the night was over, just the four of them at Godrics Hollow, they just laughed the night away.

“So, Mrs.Potter, how’s it feel?” Y/n teased, “Surprisingly, it feels great.” Lily replied.

“How about you, Mrs.Black?”

“Being married to Sirius is a dream.” Y/n joked, “No, no, but in all seriousness, he’s delightful, sweeter than I imagined.”

Lily’s eyebrows quirked, “What’s he like?”

“Perfect?” Y/n replied, “Does laundry, cooks, cleans, makes my coffee every morning before order stuff?”

“Mother of Merlin! I never would’ve expected-“ Lily exclaimed, “I know! It’s crazy!” Y/n interrupted.

“We got lucky, didn’t we?”

“Indeed we did, sister.”

They clinked their glasses of firewhiskey together. Both girls finally married, finally together. Lily and Y/n hit the motherload with their husbands. Both were gentlemen and chivalry experts. Both girls fell asleep together on the couch, leaving both boys to bring them to bed. Sirius and Y/n in the guest bedroom. James and Lily in their bedroom.

The following morning the four of them woke up. Lily and Y/n were making breakfast while the two men tried to help despite having no knowledge of cooking. Two hours later, breakfast was made and being eaten at the dinner table. Clinks of forks and sounds of chewing were the only sounds coming from the table.

Until Sirius spoke up, “So, how was yesterday, newlyweds?”

“Perfect.” James answered, Sirius then turned to Lily, “Despite everything going on, I think we really needed it.”

Y/n nodded, “Completely agree. It was nice to let loose for a couple of hours.”

The conversation then went quiet, “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” Said James solemnly.

“Yesterday was great, but what we don’t know is the future, and I know that right now it’s a dark time. It’s probably one of the lowest points I’ve been in my life. My parents being terribly sick, the Dark Lord on the rise supposedly. Everything seems to be going in a downhill spiral.”

“But for the first time in months, yesterday I felt like a first-year at Hogwarts performing my first prank. I felt like that second-year who blew up Y/n’s cauldron for fun. The third-year who decided it’d be a brilliant idea to dye Sirius’ hair pink.” James stated as everyone laughed, “Let’s just say I didn’t have hair for a week.” He murmured.

“Fourth year when I stole Remus’ book, and he nearly killed me. Fifth-year, when I turned into an animagus for Moony. Sixth year when Lily finally decided to give me a chance. Seventh year when we blew up fireworks in the Great Hall for the graduating class of 1978.”

“Not knowing what tomorrow brings leaves us anxious and nervous. But there’s one thing I’m sure of.” James informed, “That if anything ever happens to me, just know, that every second we’ve spent together, every memory we have together, I hold them close to my heart. They all mean something to me. Even if it’s as simple as sitting in the common room together.”

“James-“

“I’m not finished.” He interrupted, “This is a scary time, but I’ve always been certain of one thing, that thing is you guys. You guys have always been constants in my life. Always been there for me through thick and thin. Sirius being my brother, Lily being my wife, and Y/n being the little sister I never got and my shoulder to cry on.”

Y/n chuckled, “Hey!”

“I still love you.” James replied teasingly through his tears, and she smiled, “I know, Prongs.”

“I’ll eventually have to repeat the same speech to Moony and Wormtail, but for right now, I haven’t felt happier. I wanted to say all of this at the wedding, but Lily didn’t want to dampen anyone’s mood, which I understand. Yesterday was a breath of fresh air for what’s to come.”

“But tomorrow, we will all go back to our Order missions and meetings. One thing I can be sure of is that I can always trust you guys, through and through. If for some reason something happens to me, just know I love you guys.”

“We love you too, James.” Lily replied.

Sirius sniffled and smiled through his teary eyes, “Nothing will happen to you guys. Not with me here. You guys have given me too much to let you guys go without a fight.”

“And that’s why we love you, Padfoot.” James stated, smiling at him.

“Everything will be okay. We’ll get through this.” Y/n said with hopeful optimism that would always brighten her friend's days.

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martelldoran · 3 years

Note

WHAT'S THE CAUSALITY LOOP THEORY

Why Emma, thank you so much for asking. I’m not going to waste time before jumping into this because this is gonna get long so without further ado...

Steve Rogers’ Ending and How Endgame Doesn’t Support a Causality Loop and other such rambles

Last month, I came across a TikTok that proposed that Steve’s ending made sense because it existed within a causality loop. I would link the TikTok but I didn’t save it at the time and trying to find videos on that app is impossible. You think Tumblr’s search function is bad? 🙄 But I digress. The TL;DR of the video is that due to time travel and Steve choosing to go back in time to be Peggy’s husband, it created a causality loop where he was always meant to be her husband because he went back in time and stayed there. The TikToker supported his argument by using Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (PoA), another film that uses time travel and has a clearly defined example of a causality loop. However, his argument is fundamentally flawed so I’m going to combine my knowledge of my two biggest fandoms to tell you why.

Continued under the cut because I have no chill. Beware, it's long.

To first tell you how Endgame (EG) doesn’t support a causality loop, we must establish how PoA does establish one and does it successfully. The TikToker specifically mentions the scenes that take place at Hagrid’s Hut surrounding Buckbeak the hippogriff’s execution, so we’ll look at those first. What the film does really well is establish early on that there is something weird going on well before anyone actually goes back in time. There are three things that happen in quick succession during this scene which sets up the causality loop we see later in the film. First, a rock flies through the window and breaks a jar. Second, another rock hits Harry in the back of the head. Third, once outside, Hermione hears a branch snap and thinks she sees ‘something’. There are also two additional moments later on in the film once the Harry, Ron, and Hermione have come out of the Shrieking Shack which should also be noted: a wolf howl that distracts Remus Lupin in werewolf form from attacking the group and somebody casting a full-bodied stag patronus at the edge of the lake to save Harry and Sirius from the Dementors.

Of these occurrences, the first is arguably the most important because it does the most to establish that there is something going on outside of the Trio’s current understanding of their situation. The film makes a point to frame the jar breaking as Important Information the Audience Must Remember because it shows a visibly confused Hermione reacting to it as she picks up the rock for closer inspection and we the audience are given close up of it in her hand. Not only is it framed front and centre in the shot but the rock itself is very distinctive. It’s almost wholly smooth but for a swirl of fossil, thus marking it as not just any rock but An Important Rock To Be Remembered. This was an intentional choice by director Alfonso Curon because he uses this rock to connect this moment to its mirrored scene later on once Harry and Hermione use the Time Turner.

The audience and the characters find out about the causality loop at the same time. There are clearly stated rules of time travel that say that they aren’t to meddle with time but when Harry and Hermione see that Dumbledore, the Minister for Magic, and the executioner are on their way to Hagrid’s hut they panic because their counterparts aren’t leaving. Then, we see Hermione notice something in the pumpkin patch: a distinctive rock, smooth with a swirl of fossil. Again, we see have a close up shot with the rock centred to show its importance. Stylistically, it’s very similar to the shot we saw earlier in the film which gives the audience an emotional pay off for noticing the connection. When Hermione throws the rock and breaks the jar, it sets the causality loop in motion. The jar was always going to break because they went back in time to throw the rock that breaks it.

And it’s the same with all the other instances. Hermione throws the second rock that hits Harry in the back of the head to alert him to the fact they need to get out of the hut. Hermione snaps the branch and is almost seen by her counterpart in the past. Hermione makes the wolf call to distract Lupin from attacking. Harry, and not his father as he had assumed, casts the patronus to save himself and Sirius from the Dementors. But each of these moments are set up clearly in the ‘first run through’ to set up their payoff when the characters realise, ‘Oh, I did these things. They were always meant to happen.’ From a narrative standpoint, these are planned out moments to clue the audience into the fact that there’s something bigger at play. It keeps them ‘in the loop’ as it were.

This doesn’t happen in EG.

To successfully have set up a causality loop that made sense and had the same kind of set up and pay off as we see in PoA, it would have had to have been established as early as 2014 in Captain America: The Winter Soldier (CA:TWS). This does not happen. One of the main themes of CA:TWS is moving on from the past. Peggy Carter herself even says, “I’ve lived my life, my only regret is that you didn’t get to live yours.” Then saying soon after, “Sometimes the best thing we can do is to start over.” Peggy’s character in Captain America: The First Avenger is set up as someone who acts as the backup/back bone of Steve’s own moral compass. When Steve falters at Azzano about what to about the captured 107th, Peggy is there to remind him of what is right. She serves a similar narrative function in CA:TWS. Steve is struggling with life in the present. He’s just seen the helecarriers and argued with Nick Fury about protection vs fear after the botched Lumerian Star mission. Morally, he’s in turmoil and has turned to Peggy for council because he’s trying to find purpose in world where his rigid morality seems to have no place.

From the point of view of creating a causality loop, one would think that this scene in the hospital would be the place where an initial set-up could be made and alert the audience to the long term plan for Steve’s character. Instead, we have Peggy mourning the fact that Steve didn’t get to live his life the way it should have played out, and why would a woman who has supposedly been married to another version of Steve tell him to move on? In addition, when Steve visits the Smithsonian, he watches a video where he sees Peggy talking about how he influenced her life and how during one of his missions, he saved the man that would go on to become her husband. This is the only mention of Peggy’s husband in the entire franchise until Steve reappears as an old man at the end of EG.

Captain America: Civil War (CA:CW) also offers an opportunity to set up the causality loop at Peggy’s funeral but again, this does not happen. The only family we are introduced to is Sharon Carter, Peggy’s grand-niece. When it comes to filmmaking, every choice made is intentional. From the hair and makeup to the clothes, to the music used, everything in a film means something whether it is to further character development, world-building, or the plot. Filmmakers have a limited amount of time to convey a story and anything that doesn’t matter isn’t shown. Therefore, we can conclude from the text of the film that Peggy’s husband doesn’t matter to the narrative. The person in Peggy’s family who matters to the narrative is Sharon Carter which is why she is given prominence during CA:CW’s funeral scene. Had the causality loop been set up here, there would have been a defining moment like in PoA where the audience is clued into the larger story arc. Maybe someone says something, or he meets his older self, but that doesn’t happen. It should also be noted that apart from a small scene in Ant Man, Peggy isn’t mentioned again until EG.

In Endgame itself, the film still fails to set up a causality loop. It could be argued that this is the most important film for the set-up because this is when the audience gets the payoff. The first thing we see after the 5-yer time jump is Steve in a group therapy session for those that survived Thanos’ snap. Survivors share their stories and Steve talks about Peggy, a woman who has been dead in canon for 7-years and who died of old age. It’s incongruous and sticks out because narratively it doesn’t make sense for him to talk about her and not someone he watched disintegrate in front of his eyes. Steve watches his best friend and hundreds of others turn to ash around him and that film ends on his horrified face as he sits by his best friend’s ashes. Narratively, this is the thread that should carry through to EG but instead, he talks about missing his chance with Peggy. However, unlike PoA, there is no indication whether through dialogue or framing that clues the audience into Steve’s eventual ending at the end of the film.

Even when he goes back to the 70s, we see him looking mournfully at Peggy through the blinds in her office and a picture of him, pre-serum, on her desk. Steve and Peggy’s relationship prior to Endgame is supposed to represent the bittersweet loss of the life he could have had had he not sacrificed himself to the cause in CA:TFA. Then, since the audience knows from Steve and Peggy’s conversation in the hospital in CA:TWS that she moved on from Steve to live a happy life, we can assume that this picture is meant as nothing more than a fond memento of someone that meant a lot to her. Once more, there is no indication that Steve is ever meant to be her husband.

It’s impossible to infer a causality loop here in the same way as we saw in PoA. In PoA, there is a payoff for every single unusual or weird moment the story presents the audience before and after the use of time travel but this is something that’s completely absent from Endgame’s narrative. Steve himself doesn’t even vocalise a desire to go back in time at any point in EG nor at any point during the other films he appears in. In fact, when questioned by Tony Stark about the possibility of ‘going home’ in Avengers: Age of Ulton, he says, “The guy who wanted all that went in the ice 75 years ago. I think someone else came out.” While it is indicative of his unhappiness in the modern-day, it does indicate a level of acceptance of the fact that this is his life and he has to make his peace with it. He’s taken what Peggy said in CA:TWS on board. He’s starting over and moving on.

With time travel, and Steve choosing to stay in the past came the fan theory that one of the pallbearers carrying Peggy’s casket in CA:CW is Old Man Steve, her husband. When presented with this fan theory, writer Christopher Markus said during an interview with the LA Times at SDCC 2019,

“I would very much like that. There is no set explanation for Cap’s time travel . . .I mean, we’ve had public disagreements with [directors Anthony and Joe Russo] about what it [time travel] necessarily means, but I love the idea of there being two Steve Rogers in the timeline. One who lived a long life with Peggy and is in the background of that funeral scene watching his young self carry his wife’s coffin up. Not just for the time travel mumbo jumbo of it, but for the just weird, personal pain and satisfaction that would be happening between two Steve Rogers there. I kind of love it.” [emphasis mine]

This shows that unlike in PoA there was no intention of creating a causality loop prior to Markus writing EG with his writing partner Stephen McFeely. In fact, it makes clear that the actual rules of time travel were in contention and that even those making the film didn’t have a unified idea of what they wanted to create in the first place. The fact that there is confusion surrounding EG's time travel is due to the fact that the people behind it, didn't seem to know what they were writing or consider the consequences of it.

What all of this shows is that an argument of a PoA style causality loop doesn’t hold water. The film doesn’t support it, nor do any of the previous films, because there aren’t any indicators for the audience to latch onto. There is no moment of the rock breaking the jar, or the patronus chasing away the dementors, no moment where that the audience is told to hold into this information for later because there’s some timey wimey stuff going on. Ultimately, when examined, there is no set-up for a causality loop that supports the theory he was always supposed to go back and be Peggy’s husband, particularly when examined against a film that successfully lays it out from the start.

Right, the more academic (lol) part of this post is done. I just want to address one more TikTok that bothered me because I have opinions and MCU Captain America is my Mastermind specialist subject.

The TL;DR of this one was that Steve’s ending made sense because he got out of the fight and was at peace and that that has been the ultimate goal of his character arc. This person argued that Steve used the Avengers to distract himself from the fact that he’s this man out of time and he can’t find peace without a fight which to some extent, I agree with. I don’t deny that that is a major driving force to his story. We see that in Age of Ultron with his WandaNightmare. I don’t deny that that is key to his character. However, this creator then made a comment at the end of this video to the tune of, ‘bUt BuCkY iS hIs StOrY aRc’ and tried to play it off like this wasn’t true or that people were wrong to think that this is the case.

These two things aren’t mutually exclusive. They’re both true. They’re intertwined. But you cannot say that Bucky Barnes isn’t at the heart of Steve Rogers’ story. Bucky was the catalyst for every single one of Steve’s movies. He becomes CA because of Bucky. He goes against SHIELD because of Bucky. He defies 107 countries and the Sokovia Accords because of Bucky. You take Bucky out of the equation and what do you have? What happens in those films if you take Bucky Barnes out of the equation? Viewing it objectively, and even without shipper goggles on, you simply cannot sit there and claim that Bucky Barnes isn't a defining component to Steve’s story. Steve Rogers is motivated by Bucky Barnes. Steve Rogers is motivated by the depth of their relationship and the fact that Bucky Barnes is one of the few things connecting his new present to his old life.

You can definitely see the fact that Steve is uncomfortable in the modern world. He doesn’t address any of his trauma but he still attempts to move on. However, if they wanted him getting out of the fight and finding life as a civilian to be the natural end to his story arc then there was a way to do it which didn’t require him going back to Peggy. It would have been a better and more satisfying ending if he’d actively chosen to retire because I often see the argument that him going back to Peggy is him finally allowing him to be selfish after shouldering so much over the past decade or more. If Steve chose to retire and put himself first, then that sends a better message. He’s still getting the chance to ‘be selfish’ but he’s not throwing the life he’s built away. At this point in EG, he’s spent a huge portion of his adult life in the modern-day. This isn’t the future for him anymore, it’s the present and he’s lived a life and made real connections with people. The MCU does a piss poor job of showing the interpersonal relationships between the Avengers but he is at least shown to be friends with Sam, Nat, and Bucky.

But he goes back to a delusion. Or an idea of something that was never his in the first place.

When I see people make these videos and share their opinions, I can see their points but it’s like they’re taking EG on its own when that's impossible. Endgame only ‘works’ if you have the context of 10 years’ worth of films. You have to at least be somewhat familiar with the characters, who they are and what they’ve done up until now to be able to make sense of it.

However, in saying that, they wrote and filmed the movie in a way to make you think you didn’t have to take into account anything you’ve seen in the past ten years. If you only watch Endgame, you only see a grieving man mourning the love he never had. You see a man, regretful that he didn’t get to be with woman he loved. So at the end, of course it would make sense that he goes back to her. But you can only do that if you completely divorce Endgame from its ten-year canon and in a franchise like this where they make a big deal about everything being interconnected, it simply doesn’t work. Steve’s story arc in Endgame is incongruous to the narrative arc we’ve been presented in previous films.

Ultimately, Endgame is a movie you’re supposed to watch once and then not think about again. It’s made for that first viewing when everything is shocking and exciting because if you stop to think about it even a little bit, it falls apart under scrutiny.

Finally, I think that the downfall of a lot of these ‘Steve’s ending makes sense’ posts is that made by people who are most certainly MCU fans but not Steve Rogers fans and it shows.

#in this essay i will #endgame wank #anti endgame #for the filters #steve rogers #my writing #because this i didn't spend my afternoon on this for nothing #marvel #stevie #angelblue007

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up-to-some-good · 2 years

Text

31 October 1982

“It’s a dumb idea,” Remus said.

“It’s a brilliant idea, Moony,” his boyfriend responded. “And it’s too late to change anyway.”

Sirius was right, of course. They had already apparated to Godric’s Hollow and were walking up the driveway to the Potter’s home. It was too late for them to go home and change, no matter how ridiculous Remus felt in the fluffy jumper and fake ears. Sirius was completely at home in his costume, the red cloak gliding behind him as he swung his basket back and forth.

“Just take a deep breath, Moons,” Sirius continued as they reached the door. “You look great, and everyone will love it.”

Remus looked down at his boyfriend and sighed, resigning himself to a night full of wolf jokes. He shook his head and gave Sirius his best fake smile.

“Grandma, what big teeth you have!” Sirius said with a grin, moving closer to Remus.

“All the better to eat you with, my dear,” Remus returned, leaning down for a brief kiss.

They broke apart as the door opened to reveal James – wearing a white sheet with eyeholes, his glasses giving away his identity.

“Moony! Padfoot!” he yelled. “I thought I heard someone out here!”

“Prongs, are you dressed as a sheet for Halloween?” Sirius asked as James pulled him in for a hug.

“He’s a ghost, Pads,” Remus responded, getting his own hug. “It’s a Muggle costume.”

“Right you are, Moony,” James said. “Lily insisted on doing matching Muggle costumes.”

The redhead appeared behind her husband a moment later, dressed in a short black dress with fishnets and a witch’s hat. Harry, wearing a deer onesie rested on her hip, stretching his arms out for his godfather the second he saw him.

“Padfoot!”

“Hello, little one,” Sirius cooed, taking the toddler into his arms. “Are you dressed as your old dad? Don’t worry, next year you can go as me and be much cooler.”

“What are you two dressed as, anyway?” James asked, suddenly. “I didn’t even look.”

“Are you…?” Lily added, stifling a laugh.

“Little red riding hood?” Sirius offered, glancing briefly at Remus.

Immediately, James burst out laughing.

“Brilliant!” he said. “Well, come in, you two. It’s just us five tonight, and I want to get going before it gets too dark.”

The previous year, the Potter’s had been in hiding in Halloween. They were attacked, both James and Sirius ending up badly injured before Remus was able to bring backup*. As such, the friends had decided to celebrate their favourite holiday that year properly, treating it as Harry’s first. He wouldn’t remember the trick or treating or costumes, but they all knew that it wasn’t really for him. They needed their holiday back now that the war was over, even if they had to continue with fewer friends.

The group gathered in the entryway, where James had nearly bled out just one year before, to take photos. Sirius and Remus took of the Potters, who returned the favour before setting up the camera for a group photo. None of the pictures even hinted at the previous year's events. They just showed a happy family, excited for their first Halloween together.

They set out into the neighbourhood, carrying sweets for Harry as they went house to house. Eventually, the toddler himself had to go to bed, so the adults sat down and reminisced about their school years, toasting certain names – and leaving out others.

As Harry grew up, Halloween became his favourite holiday. His parents and godfathers dressed up every year in progressively more ridiculous costumes and invited his friends to join them for trick or treating around Godric’s Hollow. His first Halloween, though he didn’t remember it, was his favourite, the picture on the mantelpiece showing his family, happy and whole for the first holiday since the war.

*backstory

#there's enough angst in the world #have some fluff #fanfic #wolfstar #jily #marauders #marauders fluff #baby harry potter #jily fluff #wolfstar fluff #halloween fluff

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zaina-xoxo · 3 years

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Harry Potter headcanons (sad)

That Hermione and Ron always wanted a huge family. Like, 5 children filling a burrow. However, they ended up with only two. Why? Hermione’s torture at the hands of Bellatrix left its marks, and she couldn’t have children after Hugo. Dark Magic always left marks.

That Dumbledore never really left limbo. He stayed there forever, unable to allow himself to move due to the blood he had on his hands, lives he sacrificed for the greater good.

That George dyed his hair blue after the battle in order to stop reminding himself of Fred every time he saw a mirror.

That Grindelwald never stopped loving Dumbledore, and during their final duel, he actually had an opportunity to kill him, but couldn’t gather the will. Dumbledore used that moment to win.

That during Snape’s death, those tears with the memories, were also a sacrifice. Those tears were the memories themselves. So, when he died and went to the afterlife … he didn’t remember the person most featured in those memories, the one they focused on. In death, he never remembered Lily.

After the battle of hogwarts, Dennis Creevey becomes a photographer …. which was what his brother, Colin, had wanted to become when he grew up.

That Sirius willingly fell into the veil, which only kills if you completely were thrown into it. What happened was that half of his body went to the other side, and he was immediately assaulted by whispers of his dead loved ones, especially lily and James. He died with a smile, as he jumped in to his next great adventure.

That for the first fifteen years of his life, what Tom Riddle saw in the Mirror of Erised was himself with his parents in a rich household, in a loving family. All he wanted was to be loved. All that changed when he made his first horcrux.

That Dumbledore’s boggart was himself. And, that it really was him who killed Ariana, something he found out in the afterlife.

When Ron was a little boy he overheard his aunt Muriel talking to her friend that how amazing Ron's elder brothers were. But she called Ron ‘Molly's failed attempt for a girl’. She also said that Ron was worthless and he was no one compared to his elder brothers. Ron had developed insecurities about not being good enough from that overheard conversation.

When Ron left in DH Hermione wrote a letter. Conveying EVERYTHING she felt for him. She was almost certain that she would never see him again. She would never be able to tell him how she felt for him. She kept that letter in her beaded bag. Years later Ron found out that letter. And he cried.

Once during an auror mission Ron was injured badly. He almost died. Hermione didn't leave his side for once. When he was slightly better, Hermione told him that she was pregnant. That was when Ron had decided to quit his job.

When Ron and Hermione were staying at the shell cottage Hermione had a long conversation with Fleur. Hermione told her that there was a huge chance that she wouldn't survive the battle of Hogwarts. She was a muggleborn afterall. So if something happened she wanted Ron to move on with his life. She wanted Fleur to promise her that she would help Ron to move on with his life.

When the flashing green light came rushing at James Potter's way he didn't see death, but was reminded of two pairs of vibrant green eyes staring lovingly at him.

Death works differently in the HPU. Once you die, you have the choice to stay in limbo for as long as you want, or to take the train. You could also become a ghost. However, along with that there’s also the choice of becoming a creature which is the embodiment of death - a thestral. This is why Luna has a favourite Thestral, and why there’s a huge influx of them in the forbidden forest after the battle of hogwarts.

Neville kept visiting his parents. With every milestone that he hit — graduating Hogwarts, marrying Hannah Abbott, being hired as a professor — he made it a tradition to see them. It was not until he visited with a baby girl in his arms, Alice Francesca Longbottom, that he saw a flash of recognition in his mother’s eyes.

The day Harry was born, all the marauders found themselves in St. Mungo’s. Hours later, Remus awoke in his chair just in time to see a black-haired man with a crooked nose regarding the new-born. With a last glance upon Lily he left, seemingly unseen.

As a child Teddy had a huge crush on his Aunt Hermione, and he would often give her flowers and ask her if they could get married someday. Once he grew up, he was commonly teased about his childhood crush on his aunt (not sad)

During the first few years that Severus was teaching at Hogwarts, all of the other teachers were very uncertain of him. They all thought that Dumbledore was mad for hiring him, as they all knew of his reputation as a Death Eater. But eventually he struck up a very playful rivalry with Minerva. They would sit together at Quidditch matches and pass snarky comments back and forth, both of them snorting in amusement. It also wasn’t uncommon to find them sat together in the evenings, having a cup of tea or a glass of firewhiskey. By the time Harry Potter came to Hogwarts, Minerva believed in him almost as much as Dumbledore did. (He often urged Severus to tell her the real reason he defected from the Death Eaters, but Severus always refused.) His hatred of the young Gryffindor was often a point of contention between the two unlikely friends, but their friendship remained strong. It withstood Voldemort’s return and the reformation of the Order of the Phoenix. But in the aftermath of the Battle of the Astronomy Tower and Dumbledore’s death, Minerva was completely shocked and outraged. She couldn’t believe she’d ever befriended him at all and swore she’d never forgive herself for trusting him. During the last year the two taught together she avoided him at all costs, talking to him only when it was absolutely necessary, and when she had to she did so rather stiffly. After the Battle of Hogwarts ended and he was dead, however, she learned the truth about his actions from Harry, who told her about his tragic tale. She cried on and off for days. And the first time she came face to face with his portrait she completely broke down.

Had Fred not died, the twins would have had an overly casual double wedding [and would probably switch places to mess with their brides]

When Remus woke up in Harry’s compartment in POA, he saw Harry giving him the same comforting and concerned look as James. For a moment he thought he was seeing James again. Then in sunk in that his dear friend was dead and it was James’ son.

Teddy saw Sirius’ picture once. He didn’t know who he was, so he changed himself to look like him. It was only when he grew up that he understood why Harry started crying when he saw him.

Once Professor McGonagall was made headmistress, she let Hagrid become a student. Harry saw Hagrid’s Patronus for the first time in his life three years after the war. It was Hedwig.

When Petunia and Lily were little, they would read Alice in Wonderland. Petunia would read Dudley the book, fully knowing he didn’t like it. She was reading it for Harry, who was listening from inside his cupboard. Petunia believed she owed this to Lily.

When Harry was a baby, he didn’t know his own name. Each of the marauders gave him a nickname. (James called him troublemaker.) When he lived with the Dursleys, and they called him a “troublemaker”, toddler Harry would get excited thinking that his dad was going to take him away from these horrible people.

During the Battle of Hogwarts, Nearly-Headless Nick’s head finally came off. Hence, he had to join the Headless Hunt. Thus, Gryffindor needed a new applicant. The new house ghost was a 17-year-old redheaded man and a large group of 12 students were excited to meet their beloved uncle.

When Teddy Lupin was a baby, his color turned into the person he wanted to hold him. Occasionally, it was Harry or Ginny or any other Weasley. But one day it turned pink and he could do nothing about it.

The Marauders used to take turns babysitting Harry, and it became a tradition to pass the baby and say, “You’re it. Good luck.” And the last thing Sirius saw as he fell through the veil was Remus holding Harry, and the last thought that went though his head was, “You’re it. Good luck.”

After Fred’s funeral, George does not return to the Burrow until about a year later. He refuses to go upstairs where his and Fred’s old room is and barely says a word. His hair is some wild outrageous color, cropped short and crooked, and Mrs. Weasley goes into a fit. She loudly asks why he would do that to himself, and is not prepared when he says, “I kept seeing him in the mirror.”

It’s the year after the Battle of Hogwarts. The school is still being repaired and the class size has dwindled down to pitiful numbers. And the Thestrals are so excited about the newfound attention they’d been getting.

Dobby wrote a will in which he sent Harry over 200 pairs of socks, Ron a pair of trainers, and a misshapen hat for Hermione.

No matter what he was doing or who he was with, Harry would always stop and pet any stray dog that he came across. If he could, he would give them any food he had. Eventually he became known as the man with the treats. Not Harry Potter or the Chosen One; just the quiet man with dogbones. When dogs would bound up to him, throwing their paws onto his chest and barking with glee at his arrival, he was reminded irresistibly of Sirius.

At Colin’s funeral, Harry didn’t say a word. He had been to so many funerals recently that pleasantries felt like a waste of breath, and how terrible would it be for him to waste his breath when he was so lucky to have it? He stood silent and watching, and as the last of the attendees left, Harry placed a tiny picture on Colin’s grave, taken by the late boy himself. It was the only autograph Harry Potter would ever give.

On May 2nd, 1998, Hogwarts held a moment of silence for the fallen. Not a single portrait stirred, not a single stair shifted. Even Peeves ducked into a corner and went silent. Then, when the silence ended, millions of different colored sparks took off into the sky.

Tonks is easily excitable and loved entertaining Hermione and Ginny with her Metamorphosis abilities. One day, she found a picture of Harry in Sirius’ room to turn herself into, and ran downstairs to show Remus and Sirius. And it wasn’t until Tonks watched their hearts break that she realized Harry’s eyes were the wrong color.

Harry kept each and every one of the sweaters that Mrs. Weasley had knitted him. One day while cleaning, she saw them folded with so much care in his drawer. She turned to see Harry wearing his newest Christmas Sweater proudly, like it was the greatest honor he could have been given, and she burst into tears.

One day, Harry accidentally calls Mrs. Weasley “Mum” instead of Molly. His face goes bright red, fumbling with apologies, and she (once again) burst into tears.

The first thing Draco Malfoy did after the war was Apparate into Muggle London and march straight into a tattoo parlor. He emerges, his face still bloody and burned, with an arm void of a black skull. Instead, he looks down at the skin covered in flowers and the skull changed into a silhouette of the castle, and smiles for the first time in two years.

George pulls Harry aside:

(“Harry, you’ve died, haven’t you?”

Harry looked up at George and regarded him, careful not to let any incredulousness show in his eyes — he knew all too well of the torment George must be feeling, of the weight in what he was visibly preparing himself to say.

“I have,” said Harry carefully.

George dipped his head; as he did, Harry caught something in his eyes that pained him so deeply, he was grateful George had tried to hide it from him.

“Does it...” George spoke to his shoes, and his voice sounded much older than Harry remembered. “Did... Did dying hurt, Harry? D’you think… that Freddie was in pain when...”

But George did not need to specify. Like he had been smacked right across the face with the words left unspoken, Harry knew, and it was a long time before he answered.

“It didn’t hurt,” said Harry resolutely, like he was deciding it right then and there.“It didn’t?”

“Quicker and easier than falling asleep.”)

When Remus Lupin took the Map from Harry, he sat there for hours, opening and reopening it wrong on purpose just to see the clever insults sprout on the paper. It was almost like his friends, alive and well, were talking to him for the first time in 12 years.

The day Molly Weasley dies, the first thing she sees is a girl with red hair sprinting toward her. She panics, thinking it might be Ginny, but she sees startling green eyes and knows who it is immediately. Lily Potter pulls Mrs. Weasley into a hug and in a choked voice, whispers, “Thank you.”

Harry memorized every name of the 50 Fallen after the war ends. The day he dies, old and surrounded by his children, he repeats their names in his head like a mantra and begs for their forgiveness.

Eleven years later, at Hogwarts, students fill a corridor filled with portraits of those who died in the Battle of Hogwarts. They look for Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, and other famous faces, but there’s a blue-haired first year in their midst, trying desperately to remember what his parents had looked like.

James Potter lost both of his parents at once. The news was delivered to him by Professor McGonagall with Sirius by his side, but James was in denial. He kept insisting that she was lying, and it wasn’t until Sirius broke down into tears that James knew, and it broke him.

Crookshanks was the Potters family cat mentioned in sirius' letter and escaped godrics hollow after Halloween and managed to find the magical menagerie. He found hermione and stayed with her because harry was only allowed hedwig and Ron already had scabbers. This is why he was especially angry towards Ron, due to smelling his masters betrayer on him, and didn't run away from sirius’ grim form.

Hedwig was a guardian angel. Hedwig is smarter than most owls and other animals in the magical world, often appearing to harry when he needs to write a letter. Female snow owls like hedwig are mostly white but they have grey marks and spots on their back wings, hedwig is portrayed as a white male snowy owl. White as an angelic being perhaps Perhaps? Perhaps hedwig was sent by his parents as a guard and friend to him, its why hedwig didn't want anyone else adopting her.

Dementors come from the death eater who were thrown into the Veil. Ever wonder why the veil of death is barley used? After the souls escape to the after life the bodies of those who enter become husks of their former selves, hungry for souls. Unmasked before thrown in with only the cloaks on their backs.

Four years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Molly Weasley was busy preparing food for Ron’s birthday. She mistakenly barked to George, “Get that chicken out of the oven, Fred!” George silently whispered, “Honestly, woman, you call yourself our mother?”

JK Rowling has revealed that Lily Potter was pregnant was her second child when she was killed. Even worse, she had convinced James to make Snape the godfather of the child.

At Luna’s wedding, the whole of the front seats were reserved. Harry went up to her at the end of service and asked, “Luna, who’s sitting there?” Luna smiled her usual smile and said, “Right. They did sit here in a spiritual way I suppose.” She pointed the seats one by one, “Right, that’s for my mother, those are for your parents, that one is for Sirius, that one is for Professor Lupin, that one is for Tonks, then Mad-Eye, then Fred Weasley, then Professor Dumbledore, and then Professor Snape. Right then, bye!” Harry had never felt so touched before.

The reason Bellatrix was so wretchedly insane and slavishly devoted to Voldemort was that she lived for the promise that one day, if she did enough, someone might say “I love you” back. I know that she doesn’t deserve this but for love… wow Bellatrix.

When Harry and Ginny went to search for a house to live in they found an apparently perfect house, Ginny loves it, but Harry rejects with a clear excuse about it being too big for them. Ginny doesn’t notice Harry’s fixed look on the Cupboard under the stairs.

Before the Horcrux hunt, Ron and Hermione decided, that if either of them had to choose between saving each other's lives or Harry’s, they had to choose Harry for the sake of the world. No matter how painful it would be for them to let go of each other.

Sirius and Remus saved memories for Harry. Remus left them for Harry in his will, when Harry got a hold of them he got to see a part of James he never got to see in Snape's memory.

After the battle of Hogwarts, Neville went to visit his parents to tell them about it. After he finished, his mother, who normally spoke nonsense, smiled and said one word: “Proud”

On November 3rd 1981, Sirius Black sat alone in a cell in Azkaban softly singing: “Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me, happy birthday dear Sirius...” whilst tears streamed down his face, wishing he could go back in time.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter, James and Sirius were out in public together one sunny afternoon. The elderly couple was talking to someone with that someone asking, “Oh, are these your sons?” Sirius turned beet red and becoming utterly flustered. Mr. Potter simply smiled and says, “Yes, they are.” With Mrs. Potter nodding proudly in agreement. Never once did they think to reply in any other way.

Harry as a preschooler drew two blond blots and a big black blot with a little black one standing a bit further away beside them with “My Family” scratched over the top and presented it to Uncle Vernon who ripped it apart and threw it away right in front of him.

When Harry and Ginny were married they moved to a house in Godric’s Hollow. After Lily was born and got older, she would visit her grandmother and namesake's grave everyday and leave lilies.

Harry Potter died at the ripe age of 101 surrounded by his loved ones, when he opened his eyes again he returned to the place he parted from his old mentor many years ago, but it wasn't Albus Dumbledore who greeted him at the station this time around. Standing a few feet away from him where a young couple patiently waiting for the son they were ripped away from so long ago to take him home and Harry Potter, the boy who lived, went gladly.

After the war, Minerva McGonagall went into a spiral of depression. It was brought on by watching so many students grow and die before her eyes.

At Ginny’s wedding she danced with George twice so it would feel like she was dancing with Fred.

After the second Wizarding War, everyone who died was given a chocolate frog card. When Teddy Lupin was on the train going to his first year of Hogwarts, he got the cards that had his parents on them, and it was like they were sending him off themselves.

These made me cry when I read them, I just can't :(

#marauders #harry potter #james potter #remus lupin #sirius orion black #lily x james #james potter x lily evans #headcanons #harry potter headcanon #sad #emotional

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j-amespotter · 3 years

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★ exile - s. b.

“you’re not my homeland anymore.”

Pairings: Sirius Black x Reader, Reader x Male!OC

x. x. x.

Summary: Sirius is caught in the middle of a quarrel between two lovers; AU where Harry is raised by his godmother.

Genre/Warnings: angst, language, mentions of death & war, dumbledore-bashing

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: this can be read as a stand-alone, but i plan on writing a part 2 based on the song ivy (for those who would like a semi-happier ending). let me know if you want to be on my general/a character-specific taglist.

masterlist

Sirius probably should not have stayed behind. All context clues pointed to the fact that he probably should leave the dining room. However, it was his dining room. It wasn’t his fault you were having a full-fledged argument with someone that was a complete stranger to him in his house.

To be fair, he was still processing. Twelve years in Azkaban had him always prepared for the worst, but with Remus’s forgiveness and Harry’s acceptance of him, he was on a high. A high that, unfortunately, came crashing down the minute he discovered his girlfriend (Ex-girlfriend? There wasn’t ever actually a break-up, but Sirius got the hint pretty fast) had married in the fourteen years they spent apart.

He supposed he should be thankful. Thanks to you and your husband, Harry grew up in a loving household. Harry had a family.

John. His name was John. The name itself disgusted him. As he got to know John, it comforted him to find out that he was every bit a square as his name suggested. He was nice, though. Sirius couldn’t deny that. Stable. Perfect. Blonde.

It was thrilling, actually. Watching his perfection deteriorate right there, in Sirius’s dining room. And besides the personal delight it brought to see you frown at John, Sirius had a right to be there. You were fighting about matters that concerned his godson, and he had already failed Harry for twelve years.

“I’m telling you, (Y/N). We need to trust Dumbledore,” John argued with his wife. He sounded tired. Sirius hoped he wasn’t smirking, but at the same time, he didn’t really care. As perfect as this man seemed to be, he very obviously lacked the stamina to keep up with you. This fact satisfied him immensely.

Sirius watched as you scoffed. “Dumbledore has got nothing to do with this. He’s my godson. I’m the one that raised him. Dumbledore stepped in when it was convenient for him – now when Harry’s grown up and useful.”

John looked at you with an odd, doubtful expression on his face. “You weren’t the only one that raised him,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” you trailed off nervously. Sirius found it strange to see you back down so easily. He dared to hope that there was some trouble in paradise but was too well-acquainted with disappointment to let it flourish.

The three of you sat in silence for what felt like an eternity. Sirius, having remained uncharacteristically quiet in the encounter thus far, wondered if he should intervene. Before he could form a coherent thought, John broke the silence. “I don’t see why we should tell Harry the prophecy if you haven’t even told me yet.”

For the first time all night, and quite involuntarily, you met Sirius’s eye. Out of the five people who knew of the prophecy’s full contents, only three survived. Fortunately for you, your husband did not notice the interaction – Sirius gathered that John remained blissfully unaware of your romantic history. “Nobody in the Order knows,” you said, “and nobody is supposed to know. I don’t want to tell Harry the prophecy. I just want him to know what to expect. There is danger in the Department of Mysteries, and if Dumbledore thinks Voldemort will try to lure him there, he should know it. You know how Harry is, John. If we don’t give him answers, he’ll go looking for them himself.”

John winced at the invocation of the Dark Lord’s name. “But Dumbledore…”

“I agree with (Y/N),” interrupted Sirius finally. “It is not Dumbledore’s decision; it is ours. (Y/N)’s and mine. We are his godparents.”

John, who had no reason to dislike Sirius, stared at him in irritation. “Fine, if that’s what you think. You reap what you sow, I suppose.” With a firm glance, he turned to you. “I have sacrificed so much for you and Harry, yet you always keep me at arm’s length. Let me know when you’re ready to be a family.” With that, he got up and left the dining room.

You flushed. Sirius felt a wave of fury at the man. How dare he throw that in your face? Selfish bastard. He waited for John’s footsteps to fade away. “Some guy you’ve got there,” he remarked sarcastically.

Your eyes snapped in his direction. “He’s not ‘some guy.’ He’s my husband. And what business did you have, stepping in like that? I can handle myself.”

“You didn’t ask me to leave,” Sirius pointed out without missing a beat.

“I let you stay out of courtesy, Black. You are Harry’s godfather. I can’t change that.”

“Good. Merlin knows you tried,” he said, glancing in the general direction of the door John just walked out. “See, we even argue better.”

“Excuse me?”

“You don’t love him,” said Sirius matter-of-factly.

Anger flared in your eyes. “Yes, I do.”

“Bullshit,” said Sirius, invigorated by your blazing look. “You're forgetting that I’ve seen it when you’re in love. Was on the receiving end, in fact. If you love him, you absolutely worshipped me.”

You looked at him, scandalized by the insinuation. “You’re an arse.”

“Maybe, but one that speaks cold, hard facts.” He watched you, his pale eyes attempting to memorize your features.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you snapped.

“Can’t help it, love,” he said casually. It felt like fitting into an old rhythm. Sirius refused to believe you couldn’t feel the same way.

You sat in silence for a while, but not like the awkward silence that enveloped the room when John occupied the space. You stared at your glass, lost in thought. “At least he didn’t leave.”

Sirius swallowed heavily. “You didn’t stop me.”

You looked indignant. “You must be joking.”

“You’re freaking me out, Sirius. What the hell happened?” You clutched his arm, shaking him for answers.

Sirius was inconsolable. “J-James and Lily… d-dead.” His voice cracked.

Tears spilled out of your eyes. “N-No, that’s not possible. You said they were safe, that everything was fine!”

He was trembling. You could barely make out his words. “The little rat…”

“W-Who?” You were crying. Lily… your best friend… She couldn’t be dead. Bright, bubbly, perfect Lily Potter could not be dead.

Suddenly, Sirius was standing up, wiping his eyes. “I have to go.”

Your eyes widened. “What? Where? Where’s Harry?”

“With Dumbledore. I have to go.”

“Wait, don’t leave me here–” But with a crack, he was gone.

Sirius sighed, rubbing his unkempt beard. “You didn’t come after me. You didn’t stop them from taking me. You didn’t get me out.”

“How the hell was I supposed to do that? You didn’t tell me about switching the Secret-Keepers. You didn’t have an orphaned baby in your lap. And I saw your picture in the paper. Do you even know how deranged you looked? What was I supposed to do?”

“Goddamnit, I don’t know! Everything went wrong…” Sirius said, raising his voice slightly. “I lost my best friend.”

“So did I,” you whispered. “Harry lost his parents. We both needed you.”

“But I wasn’t there…”

You shook your head. “No, you weren’t.”

“And John was?”

“Yes.”

“I’m here now,” said Sirius in a resigned voice.

“I can see that,” you joked with a sad smile. “I’m glad. We both are – Harry and me.”

“You raised him well,” said Sirius sincerely. “James and Lily would’ve been proud of him.”

You smiled at him like never before. His heart thudded against his chest. “I hope so. Thank you.”

“Does he make you happy?”

You stared at a spot over his shoulder, refusing to make eye contact. “It’s none of your concern, Sirius.”

“It always will be, you know that.” You deserve better, he wanted to say. Better than him and me.

You deserved someone who completed you, not just someone who fits the mold. As you bid him goodnight, Sirius couldn’t help the twinge of envy brewing in his chest. Beyond his jealousy and hatred of John, he felt sad. Sirius recognized the unhappiness in your eyes, and he felt helpless. There was nothing he could do for you anymore.

Taglist: @iwritesiriusly @lunalovecroft

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fruitquake · 3 years

Text

The Notebook

Remus had been in such a rush to get to class, he didn’t notice he had grabbed the wrong bag. In fact, in his absentminded state, he didn’t realize before he opened the bag to find Sirius’ things inside: Pieces of crumbled up parchment, a couple of chocolate frogs, a bottle of ink, and his notebook.

Remus remembered buying that notebook with him, in a bookshop in muggle London. Sirius had immediately fallen in love with the notebooks that had silly “inspirational” quotes written on the cover. The one he had bought said “Shoot for the moon; even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars”, which didn’t even make sense. Of course, Sirius didn’t care if it made sense or not.

“Alright, now, students, you will be taking notes today, so get your quills and parchment out,” said Professor McGonnagal as she entered the classroom.

Fuck. Remus didn’t have his own bag, and therefore didn’t have anything to take notes with. He turned in his seat to try and catch Sirius’ attention, but to no avail.

He would have to borrow Sirius’ notebook then, just for this lesson. He could give it back to him afterwards.

But as he opened it, something written on the first page caught this eye:

This notebook belongs to Sirius Black Lupin.

Remus felt his heart rate speed up as he flicked through the pages. On some of them, Sirius had written things like “S+R”, usually with a heart neatly drawn around the letters, as well as “Sirius Lupin” over and over again. A larger block of text caught his eye:

“Why do I feel this way? I know it’s wrong, but no matter how hard I try to make the feeling go away, it’s still there; making me weak in my knees every time I look at him.

He doesn’t realize the effect he has on me. Every damn time he smiles, or ruffles his hair, or bites his lip when he’s concentrating… Someday, one of these things will be the bloody death of me and he doesn’t even realize.

If he found out how I feel, he would surely hate me. He can’t know I’m hopelessly in love with him. No one can ever know.”

Remus stared blankly at the page. Surely, this couldn’t be about himself? Sirius wasn’t in love with him… Was he?

He quickly closed the notebook before anyone around him could see what was written in it, and turned around to look at Sirius. He was staring at his desk, though he didn’t appear to be taking notes, or doing anything, really. Remus couldn’t help but wonder if Sirius had seen him reading the notebook and if so, what was going through his head?

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Sirius’ ears were ringing, his whole brain in panic mode. It was like an alarm inside his head, frantically ringing out:

He knows, he knows, he hates you now, everything is ruined.

He thought of all the possible ways out of this: Fakng his own death and moving to France and live under a new name. Or faking his own death and move to the other side of the world. Or perhaps even better, faking his own death and going into outer space, making a life for himself on Mars. In fact, he didn’t really have any idea that didn’t involve faking his own death.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Remus turn in his seat to look at him.

Alright, Sirius, he said to himself. Keep your eyes down, don’t make eye contact. As soon as Transfiguration is over you can make a run for it.

By the end of the day, he would be Pierre The Frenchman, living on a cozy wineyard in France. Or an astronaut on his way to Mars.

But as the lesson ended and students hurried out, he started to realize he couldn’t leave. Even if Remus now hated him, he still loved Remus, and a life without him, even if he got to meet some cool aliens instead, wouldn’t be worth living.

He stood up, finding himself face to face with Remus. “Hey,” he said, praying his voice wouldn’t betray his nerves. “I think you have my, uh-”

“Notebook?” Remus interrupted in a strangely high-pitched voice. “Haha. What notebook? I didn’t read it. I didn’t even notice it was there. Here’s your bag! Goodbye!” He tossed the bag onto Sirius’ desk, before practically running out of the door, leaving Sirius behind in the nearly empty classroom.

“What on earth was that about?”

Sirius jumped. He’d completely forgotten that James was there too. He turned around to face him, making a desperate attempt at a nonchalant expression. “No idea,” he lied.

James didn’t seem so convinced. “Why was he being so weird about a notebook? And what notebook was he even talking about, anyway?” He reached into Sirius’ bag, but Sirius was quick to snatch it out of his hands.

“It’s private!” he said.

But James had managed to grab the notebook, and had already opened it. “Oh.” he said, realization dawning on his face. “Oh!”

“James, give that back!” Sirius pleaded, no longer able to keep the panic out of his voice.

James looked up at him. “You’re in love with Remus,” he almost whispered. “Shit, mate. Everything makes so much more sense now.”

Sirius looked down, shame mixing with the panic. “You weren’t supposed to have read that.”

But James ignored this. “Sirius, you have to go after him! He clearly feels the same way!”

“No he doesn’t!”

“Yes, he does,” James insisted. “Did you not see him running out of here all red in the face. And how weirdly he acted before… Pads, that is not the behavior of someone who just learned his friend is in love with him and doesn’t return those feelings.”

Sirius ran a hand through his hair, letting out a shaky breath. “You don’t know that,” he mumbled.

“Yes, I do! Listen to me, dimwit,” James said, grabbing a hold of both Sirius’ shoulders, forcing him to look at him. “If he didn’t have feelings for you too, he wouldn’t have acted that way. There would have been an awkward conversation where he tried to let you down gently. ‘I really like you as a friend, Sirius, but I would like to stay just that.” Something like that, you know? He definitely wouldn’t have acted like that!”

Could James really be right? Sirius fiddled nervously with his shirt collar. “So… you think I should find him and talk to him, don’t you?”

“Exactly!” James responded. “Come on, no time to waste!”

Sirius sighed. “Alright,” he muttered, taking hesitant steps towards the door.

“Actually, wait.” James said, grabbing his arm. “Look, Pads, I know I shouldn’t have meddled in this. That notebook was private. And, well… I imagine this isn’t how you planned on me finding out that you like blokes but, uh… I want you to know that I love you just the same. You’ll always be my brother.”

Sirius didn’t have the words to explain what a relief it was to hear that from James. All of the sleepless nights he had spent, after realizing he was gay, picturing James’ reaction. In his imagination, it was usually the end of their friendship. James looked disgusted, angry, betrayed. But as he looked into his eyes, a deep, gentle brown, there was none of that. No hatred, no disgust. “Thank you, Prongs,” he said with a small smile.

James returned the smile, pulling him into a brief hug. “No problem, mate. Now go talk to Moony, for Merlin’s sake!”

Remus had gone to the place he always went when seeking comfort or a place to clear his mind: the Hogwarts library. Surrounded by books, with no people around, except maybe for the librarian, he felt strangely at peace. Today, however, there was no peace. His mind was running at a dangerous speed, way too fast for himself to keep up.

Sirius liked him… maybe. It could’ve been a prank. Could Sirius have meant for Remus to find it? Was he trying to humiliate Remus by tricking him into confessing his own feelings? Or it could all have been something Remus’ own brain, desperate for love, had made up. Either way, he was going to do what he always did in uncomfortable or scary situations: ignore it until it hopefully went away.

“Remus.”

Fuck. It was going to be hard to ignore the problem, when the problem was standing a few feet away from him, nervously fiddling with the strap on his bag.

Sirius shuffled awkwardly next to Remus’ table, eyeing a chair as though he was debating whether or not to sit down. “I thought I might find you here,” he said.

Remus got up, grabbing a random book off the nearest shelf. “Congrats, Sherlock,” he said snarkily, sitting back down again. He opened the book, pretending to read. It was better than having to face Sirius.

“Moony, I- I know you looked in my notebook,” Sirius said, pulling out the chair opposite Remus and sitting down.

Remus kept his eyes on the book, without catching any of what was written in it. Sirius continued:

“I don’t know how much you actually read, but… Well, I’m pretty sure you saw enough to know the truth.”

“No, I swear, I have no idea what you’re…” Remus trailed off. What good would lying do? He had known Sirius since they were both eleven. There was no one more stubborn or persistent. If Sirius wanted to talk about this, that would happen whether Remus wanted to or not. “Yeah, I did,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.”

“I need to know the truth as well,” Sirius said. “If you don’t feel the same, that’s fine. I’ll… I’ll get over it, I won’t make it awkward or uncomfortable, I promise. But if you do feel the same…”

Remus opened his mouth, but no sound left him. He didn’t know what to say. This didn’t feel real. It was too good to be true. A prank, for sure. James was probably hiding somewhere, ready to jump out and laugh at him with Sirius if he confessed.

Silence stretched for what seemed like an eternity, while an internal war wreaked havoc inside of Remus. Should he tell Sirius the truth, or stay silent?

But before either side could win, Sirius had already drawn conclusions from his silence.

“Right,” he said, his voice choked-up and distant. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed there was even a chance you liked me back.” He got up, before Remus could say anything. “Just forget about it, okay?”

Fuck. Remus looked up. Sirius was walking away, his shoulders slumped, his steps heavy. Remus stood up, knocking the chair over in his hurry. “Sirius, wait!”

He had caught up with him in a few long strides. Sirius turned around, his expression hardened like he didn’t dare let himself hope again.

This time, Remus didn’t waste any time worrying about the consequences. He cupped Sirius’ face with his hands, leaning in to kiss him, and oh Merlin, was it the best decision he had ever made.

The kiss was returned almost immediately, like it was all Sirius had been wanting to do for years. And maybe it was… Remus thought that was the case for himself, even if he had only recently realized it.

Both of them lost in the other’s lips, they accidentally backed into a bookcase, sending a few books falling onto the floor.

“Who’s there?” Called the angry voice of Madam Pince.

Sirius and Remus looked at each other, both trying to suppress their laughter. “Let’s get the fuck out of here,” Sirius whispered.

Remus nodded, letting Sirius take his hand as they both ran from the library. He grinned, feeling the rush of adrenaline and euphoria take over his mind. They hid in an unused classroom, both of them laughing and panting.

“That was close, huh?” Sirius said. “Imagine if Madam Pince had seen us. She would’ve lost her damn mind.”

“Definitely.” Remus’ cheeks hurt from smiling. “So,” he said. “Sirius Lupin, huh?”

Sirius groaned. “Shut up,” he said, his face turning red.

Remus laughed. “No,” he said. “Never. It’s embarrassing for you.”

“It is,” Sirius agreed. He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to Remus’ lips. “Will kissing shut you up?”

“Mmh.” Remus stroked his chin with mock thoughtfulness. “You know, it just might. Why don’t keep kissing me to find out?”

#me? writing something????? unbelievable!#remus lupin #sirius black #wolfstar #wolfstar fanfiction #james potter #marauders #marauders era #fanfic #fanfiction #wolfstar fanfic #marauders fanfiction

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heywardsarchive · 3 years

Text

Before You Go - [Harry Potter]

Warnings: angst, grief, death, insecurities, anxiety, sadness, alcohol, if I missed any pls let me know!

Summary: Harry lost his lover to the second wizarding war and his mind is uneasy and filled with regret and sadness as he goes through the last of her belongings.

a/n: Letters are in bold and italics, memories are in italics

Word count: 2.3k+

Based off of ‘before you go’ by Lewis Capaldi for @iliveiloveiwrite‘s songfic challenge! I hope you like it:)

Pairing: Harry Potter x female reader

*****

Harry sat on the sofa of his apartment, nursing a bottle of beer in one hand, staring, dazed at the television screen, not paying attention to the movements of the characters. His mind was wandering. The war was over but he was still reeling from the effects of it. He lost so many people he loved, it wasn't his fault but he couldn't help but blame himself. If only he was quicker, smarter. If he didn't let voldemort in he could have stopped sirius from dying. If he just surrendered himself to the dark lord, he could have stopped Fred's death, remus' and tonks too. So many others would have been saved.

The deaths of Fred, Sirius, Remus, Hedwig and others killed him inside but none hurt him as much as hers did. Y/n l/n. The only woman he truly loved. He loved her with every inch and fibre of his being. There was no part of him that didn't ache for her touch. He didn't want her to die. He would have done anything to stop her death, but he couldn't help it.

He tried convincing himself that he hated her. Hated her for leaving him, hated her for saving his life giving her own instead. Hated her for putting his life over her own, which in Harry's eyes was a hundred times more worthy then his. He tried, but he knew he was just kidding himself. How could he hate someone as perfect as her? She put everything above herself.

Every memory of her faded in his mind. All harry could think of was what he should have said when he had her in his arms, feeling her touch on skin. Staring into her (e/c) eyes. Shining with love looking into his emerald green ones, her fingers in his unruly raven hair. If he thought hard enough, he could still feel her lingering touch. But it wasn't enough. He thought of everything he could have said to her. How he could have told her that he loves her, how he wanted to marry her one day, have children of she wished, how he would give everything and everyone to the devil for her. But alas, there were many things that were left unspoken.

Regret. That was all Harry felt. No other emotion but sadness, grief and regret filled his body. He didn't know how much you were hurting inside, too wrapped up in his own head, forgetting the one he loved. Y/n took care of him although she herself was broken, beyond repair with the heartache she had suffered. Losing her older brother and parents to a death Eater attack wasn't easy on anyone. She smiled like nothing was wrong, it was as if everything was okay in her life, as if no pain filled her heart . Her smiling face plagued Harry's mind. They said time can heal, but that was a would that Harry doubted would ever heal.

Harry wished that there was something he could have said to her before she died and left him and all others behind, going to a happier and safer place, or so Harry liked to think. In his eyes, she deserved nothing but love and support. He wished he was more present in her life, wishing he could have done something to ease her pain.

He took another swig of the beer in his hand and closed his eyes. He thought that her death was worse than anything in the world, but in reality it was the idea that she died hurting inside, completely broken and with the thought that she was alone was what killed him more.

He walked to his room clumsily, not really drunk but a bit tipsy. He walked to his dressing table and removed a box from the drawer. He lifted the lid and went through the contents. It was the last piece of y/n that he possessed. Having no kin left behind, she left all her belongings to Harry, Ron and Hermione.

In the box Harry pulled out a few letters addressed to him. He opened the first one and read it for the tenth time since he got it. It was dated 1994, their fourth year. As he read the contents, his mind flashed back to the day the incidents occured. He remembered it clear as day, the Yule ball. He was clumsy and didn't know how to dance, but with y/n as his date, how could he not have fun?

Dear Harry, I know I will never have the guts to send you this letter, but maybe one day you will get to read this.

Today you took me to the Yule ball, we went as friends, I guess we'll never be anything more than that. I guess that's ok though, atleast I can still be around you. Wait, that's creepy. But you get the picture right? I really like you Harry. I want nothing more than to be your girlfriend but I don't know if you even like me that way. Maybe I'll confess to you one day, who knows? You looked really good today Harry. In the green dress robes, they really bring out your eyes. We matched too! Mother sent me a dark green dress which I love. I hope I get to wear it soon. Hermione is calling me to sleep now, I will see you tomorrow Harry. Lots of love, Yours, Y/n.

Harry closed his eyes and a tear fell from his eyes onto the paper, blotting the ink. He missed the way you smiled when you read a good book, or danced along to sweet music, or how you convinced him to make a snow Angel when it snowed back in 5th year. The memories filled his mind, he didn't know if he was happy about it or if it was too painful to remember.

It was 4th year, the Yule ball was in a few days. Harry still had not got a date. There was only one girl he had eyes for but he was tok afraid to ask her. He saw multiple boys her out but she seemed to decline all of them. He gathered his gryffindor courage and walked up to y/n. "Hey, y/n do you wanna go to the ball with me?" She was about to reply when Harry's nerves kicked in and he quickly added, "as friends ofcourse." He noticed her face fall but he didn't think much of it. "Yes Harry, I'd love to." She smiled and walked to her next class. Harry stood there happy that she agreed but also internally slapping himself that he asked her as friends when he wanted more.

Harry then remembered the time her asked her out, it was their fifth year and y/n had stood up for him against the toad face umbridge. He had to resist the urge the urge to kiss her then and there during class.

Harry stopped y/n outside class. He grabbed her hand and pulled her aside. "Harry, what's up?" She asked him, cocking an eyebrow. "I actually have to ask you something." She gestured for him to go on. "Willyougoonadatewithme?" Harry looked hopefully. "What did you say?" She looked confused. Harry took a deep breath. "Will you go on a date with me?" He repeated, slowly. "Yes." She grinned. "I have potions now, but I will catch you later." She kissed Harry's cheek and left. Harry watched her retreating figure with a smile on his face and his hand on the spot where she kissed him.

Harry was now lying on the bed rummaging through the box, finding y/n's belongings. His breath hitched when he found the pendant that he gave her in their sixth year for their one year anniversary. All their memories filled his mind and all he could think of was y/n's face, which in his opinion was the most beautiful face in the world.

He closed his eyes, dropping the box in the process. He bent down to pick up the contents when he saw a picture fall out of a book. It was a picture of him and y/n. He smiled at the sight of the picture. It was taken in their sixth year after he told her he loved her. He missed the old days when things were a bit better.

He opened the diary and flipped through the pages. It had notes on y/n's life, some random pictures here and there. Harry then reached the date may 25th 1997. It was the date she lost her whole family. He read the words written with blue ink. Each word on the paper was a gaping wound on his body issuing life blood.

I lost everything today. I don't know why I am writing this down but maybe it will help me cope. I can't break down now. I need to stay strong for Harry. For Ron and Hermione too. They're counting on me. I have to fight with my life against that horrid dark lord. I have to. To avenge the death of my family.

I can't be weak. Not now. I can deal with my own problems later on, after the war. I can't let my anxiety and insecurities take over my mind. Not now. Not now.

Once the war is over, things will get over. I know Harry can defeat him. I belive in him. He's so strong, faced so much loss at such a young age. I could never survive that much trauma. I admire his strength, I wish I was that strong. No point dwelling in my faults now, we have a war to win.

Harry shut the book, unable to read further. He didn't understand why y/n felt that way. She never showed it. He couldn't comprehend how someone so strong and brave could put themself down like that. She called him brave, when he was far from that. He kept lashing out, removing his anger on everyone. But she didn't do that, she didn't cry, kept everything inside for his sake. She was the strong one in the relationship not him. Harry felt guilty once again, like it was his fault. He felt he didn't do enough to help his love out of her cage of insecurity.

Harry wished he had done more, said more and stopped her hurting, or reduced it. He wished there was a way for him to reach her once and ask if he could have stopped her pain. He blamed himself for being distracted, leading her to let herself be taken instead.

Harry was dueling a death Eater, not paying attention to what was happening around him. Another death eater snuck behind up behind him and blasted the wall he was standing in front of. Y/n saw him and pushed Harry out of the way, taking the brunt of the falling bricks herself.

"No!" Harry cried, pushing the bricks away from her frail body. "No no no." He whispered. He finally freed her from the bricks and cracked her in his arms. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. "Don't cry Harry." This only made the tears fall faster. "I'm not worth your tears haz." She weakly reached up and wiped the tears off his dirty face. "Why?" Harry croaked. "You didn't have to die for me. I don't want you to die for me." He cried. "Oh Harry, I'd give my life a thousand times over to save yours. I'll love you forever and always. No matter what, I'll always watch over you."

"Don't leave me." Harry pressed a feverish kiss to y/n's lips, forehead, hair , cheeks. She was getting colder every minute. "I'll always be with you. In here." She placed her hand on his heart and smiled. Her hand become limp and dropped down. Her last breath of life taken. Harry freely cried over her dead body.

When voldemort called Harry to his death, he freely went, knowing it was right. He had to avenge the deaths of all those who were killed in the war. But a small part of him yearned to see y/n's smiling face again, and he hoped that he would see her again when he was no more. So he went, went with a brave face to the one he loved most.

Harry sat down on his bed, leaving the box aside. As he closed his eyes he wondered if there would have been a different outcome, a butterfly effect of sorts, if he hadn't been so closed off. If he let his walls down, been vulnerable around y/n, maybe she wouldn't have felt so alone and weak. If he let her in fully he could have let her know that he too was weak in a way, he too needed to let out his emotions. But it was too late now. She was gone and there was nothing Harry could do about it.

He drifted of to sleep, one thought lingered in his mind. If there was something he could have said to make it all stop hurting her. If he could have eased her mind before she went. It truly killed Harry how y/n's mind could make her feel so worthless.

But she was gone. There was a gaping hole in Harry's heart, one that could only be filled by love from y/n. But she was no more with him. He would never hear her voice again, never feel her touch, all that was left in him was guilt, regret and sadness and there was nothing anyone could do to fix it. *** A/n: I am so sorry for the angst, I hope I didn't break y'all too much;) I will be posting a new year fic tomorrow!

It's new years eve y'all! I hope you guys have a fantastic new year and here's to hoping 2021 is better than 2020!

#harry potter x reader #iliveiloveiwrite3.5k #harry potter angst #harry potter x you #harry potter x y/n #harry potter x reader angst

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inpizzawecrust · 3 years

Text

Bonus:

As he watched his Godson and his Godson’s boyfriend Floo back to their flat, a smile formed on Sirius’ face. He turned around to find Remus flipping through one of the photo albums Sirius had brought down hours ago to show Draco.

“Remember this day?” Remus chuckled as he pointed down at one of the pictures. Sirius walked over, but once he was in reach, Remus pulled him the rest of the way to his lap. He grabbed the album again and Sirius grinned when he saw the picture his husband was pointing at.

It was a picture of Harry in a muggle shopping center sitting on Santa’s lap. The page had muggle pictures of Harry crying, but Remus’ finger was pointed at the magic one that showed Harry screaming as Sirius brought him away from the stranger dressed as Santa. If Sirius closed his eyes, he could hear the screams and the conversation that followed with Sirius saying ‘I told you this was a bad idea’ followed by ‘I know, but the pictures are fucking hysterical’ from Remus.

“How could I ever forget?” Sirius laughed, “That was our first Christmas as a family.”

Years ago, Sirius would have probably said ‘it was our first Christmas without them’, but as he grew and grieved while settling into the role of a parent, Sirius found each stage of Harry’s life to be quite bittersweet. While yes, it was their first Christmas without James and Lily, that was their first Christmas as their family of three. He found that viewing each stage of Harry’s life that way to be a good thing. He could either let the sadness consume him or find a way to see the good in the situations, and raising Harry with Remus would always be a good thing—one of the constant things in Sirius’ life that filled him with joy.

They silently flipped through the photo album, smiling at certain pictures as they remembered them clearly, while others felt like a fever dream. When they finished the album, Remus set it on the table and loosely slung his arms around Sirius while Sirius rested his head on Remus’ shoulder.

“Are we not gonna mention it?”

“Mention what?” Remus asked as he ever so gently rubbed Sirius’ back. Sirius pulled his head from Remus’ shoulder and stared into his husband’s brown eyes, a smirk playing at his lips.

“The fact that Harry’s dating Draco Malfoy of all people?” Sirius said, the smirk still firm on his lips as Remus rolled his eyes. “You think it’s a good thing?”

“And you think it’s a bad thing?” Remus mocked, a slight smile forming.

“He’s my cousin—”

“Like once or twice removed or something,” Remus waved off, “Your entire family is built on incest and it’s not like they’re blood related to each other or were even raised as cousins—”

“That’s your defense? They’re not blood related or raised as cousins?” Sirius raised a brow.

It wasn’t that he didn’t like Draco or was even entirely blindsided by the entire thing. Harry did mention Draco quite frequently during his time at Hogwarts and even after the war when he returned to Hogwarts to finish his seventh year. He wasn’t even remotely shocked when Harry insisted on speaking for Draco’s trial. There was always something Harry had to say about Draco and Sirius knew it was the same at Malfoy Manor from the occasional letters he would exchange with Narcissa—even the letters he’d exchange with Andromeda when Draco lived with his aunt after both of his parents were sent to Azkaban. He thought the never ending conversations about Draco Malfoy would finally cease when they finished Hogwarts, and it did for a few years. But when Harry went back to Hogwarts as the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor, the first line in his first letter to his Godfathers was ‘you won’t believe who the Potions professor is’, which only reignited the talks about a certain blonde in the Lupin-Potter household. It wasn’t that Sirius didn’t like Draco, he was just unsure of whether or not the two were a good fit.

“What’s yours?” Remus asked, pulling Sirius from his thoughts.

“Dunno, just not entirely fond of Harry dating a Malfoy.” He mumbled and shrugged his shoulders.

Remus pursed his lips before biting the inside of his cheek. There was only one instance where Remus would do such a thing and that was when he racked his brain trying to find a polite way to disagree with someone. Sirius couldn’t be too offended by the look, for as he watched the gears in Remus’ brain turn, he found himself curious as to what Remus would respond back with. He watched as the narrowed brown eyes eventually softened and the hand that had been rubbing Sirius’ back slowly stopped.

Without saying a word, Remus moved Sirius from his lap and rose before Sirius even had the opportunity to protest. He felt his brows furrow as Remus crossed the room and opened a drawer in the large china cabinet that held the fine china from Remus and Sirius’ wedding, which had also been from James and Lily’s wedding as well as Fleamont and Euphemia’s wedding. He watched as Remus opened and closed the drawers until he eventually found what he was looking for. It was a photo album, one that Sirius hadn’t seen in years, but he recognized the cover all the same. It was the large scrapbook from their time at Hogwarts, pictures dating from their last day of seventh year all the way back to one of the first weeks in first year. It originally belonged to James, but it quickly became the Marauder’s.

Remus flipped through the pages as he began to walk back over to the sofa. His brown eyes were still fixed on the pictures before him as he slowly sank back down on the sofa beside Sirius, his long fingers carefully turning the aged pages. Sirius tried peering over Remus’ shoulder to get a better look at the pictures, but Remus deliberately moved to hide the book from Sirius. Sirius let out a sigh as he continued to watch Remus flip through the pages and how his forehead was creased and his brows were knitted together until he finally found the picture he was looking for.

Remus turned the book around and pointed at the picture, causing Sirius’ heart to swell and shatter all in the same moment. It was a picture of James and Lily a few months before they started dating. It was in the Gryffindor common room, streamers hung around the room and when Sirius glanced at the bottom of the page, he smiled at the date written in Lily’s handwriting; ‘October 1977, Gryffindor won against Slytherin!’.

“Look at James,” Remus softly spoke and Sirius’ eyes flicked to his brother in the picture. He had the widest grin on his face as he stared down at Lily, who was smiling for the camera. Sirius brought his face closer to the picture as tears formed in his eyes and a smile formed on his face at the sight of James grinning at Lily. He had a particular way he stared at the redhead and Sirius didn’t need to go back in time to know that James’ eyes were filled to the brim with love for the redhead, just like they always were when he’d flash that particular grin. “That’s how Draco looks at Harry.”

Sirius’ head shot up to find Remus smiling, his eyes a bit glossy like Sirius’, then he looked back at the picture. He closed his eyes and replayed the events that happened just hours ago. Draco had a firm handshake, but Sirius remembered feeling the man’s hand shake ever so slightly as he pulled away. In the moment, Sirius clapped his hands together and suggested they move to the dining room for dinner, in hopes of easing the tension—Sirius would be damned if the first time Harry brought someone home, the partner felt anything but welcomed and at ease. Sirius thought back to the dinner and how Draco had surprised him by being so un-Malfoyish by relaxing in the chair and filling the room with his loud laugh, even cracking a joke here and there. Sirius thought back to the looks the two shared throughout dinner and how they would smile at each other whenever Remus or Sirius asked a question about their relationship or mentioned their school days filled with bickering with each other. Sirius thought back to the times Harry would speak and how Draco would be focused on Harry and only Harry. Sirius smiled at the thought of it, just like he did in the moment when he eventually realized Draco did that during the entire evening. But as Sirius squinted his eyes to really focus on how Draco looked in any of those moments where his blue eyes would be fixed on Harry, Sirius’ grey eyes shot open once he could see the look of pure love and adoration in Draco’s eyes as though Harry was the only person in the room. Tears silently fell from his eyes as he looked back at Remus, who was in a similar state, because Remus was right; Draco looks at Harry the same way James used to look at Lily.

“Fuck, you’re right,” Sirius whispered as he wiped his eyes. “Draco really does love our son.”

#james potter #remus lupin #sirius black #peter pettigrew #james & peter & remus & sirius #marauders headcanon #harry potter #wolfstar #lily evans #harry potter fanfiction #wolfstar raising harry #drarry headcanon #drarry oneshot #drarry #draco malfoy

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matrixaffiliate · 3 years

Text

Ojalá - Amalgamation

Story Update! FFN and AO3

The @blackinnonweek prompt for today was to write Marlene alive in book 3. =) Enjoy!

Amalgamation

Sirius didn't know if she was alive. Didn't know what had happened after Peter escaped him and he'd been carted off to Azkaban and left to rot while the rat ran free.

But Sirius needed to know.

It had taken him a good bit to track her down after locating Harry at Petunia's home. Long enough that his picture was plastered across both the Magic and Muggle world. Long enough that he'd been able to watch her come and go from her flat for a week. He wasn't sure how much he should hate himself for being glad that it was only her coming and going. He should hate himself for hoping she'd spent the last twelve years waiting for him. But today he'd at least be able to show her what that meant to him. Even if she tried to kill him tonight, or worse told him she had actually moved on, at least she'd know that he'd only thought of her, only wanted her.

Merlin, how his life had flipped on its head.

Her little flat was on a grubby side of town that didn't suit her at all. And as he slinked along in Padfoot's fur he found himself wanting to barge into her flat and take her somewhere better, somewhere more suited to the bright woman he remembered, loved, somewhere with him.

Not that it was an option given he was now a hunted man on both sides of the war.

He clambered up the stairs to her door, sitting before doing something that he remembered had annoyed her beyond almost all his other habits.

He started scratching on the door.

It took longer than he thought it would, but she did finally open the door, and he felt like a hole inside him had suddenly been filled.

Marlene opened the door slowly and cautiously first, her blonde hair plaited back and her blue eyes haunted and guarded. She was a coiled snake ready to strike, but then she saw him and her expression turned to panic.

"You came here! What were you thinking?!" She grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and pulled him into her flat before quickly shutting and locking the door.

Sirius shifted out of his fur and pulled her into his arms and for the first time in over twelve years, everything felt right again.

"That I had to know you were safe, alive."

She clung to him for a long moment before pushing him away with a shove. "Idiot! They'll expect you to come here! They snapped my wand for the fit I threw when they put you in Azkaban! No one believed me! They thought I was a traitor too! Dumbledore told them all I was hysterical!"

"They snapped your wand?!" Sirius felt his blood boil.

"Oh, don't do that!" She swatted his arm, "I snuck out of the country and went and got another one."

Sirius took a deep breath and pulled her back into him.

"I'm sorry."

She shook her head and gripped his tattered prison clothes in her hands.

"No! I'm sorry I couldn't get you out! I tried! I swear I did everything I could think of! I'm so sorry-" her voice cracked and he pulled her tighter against him.

"It's fine now, I'm out and we're together again. Everything's going to be alright."

"They wouldn't give me Harry!" Twelve years' worth of Marlene's tears spilled out onto his chest. "I failed you and I failed Lily and James! And Remus is who knows where now!"

"Marls," he nuzzled her head with his nose, "Marly stop. You did the best you could. You didn't fail."

She took a deep breath, managing to gain control again.

Just like her, always in control.

"Speaking of Harry," Sirius continued, "Wormtail has managed to sneak his way into Hogwarts."

Marlene bristled, "I'm going to kill him."

"Those are my feelings on the matter as well. Feel like helping me commit the only murder I wish I'd managed before I was thrown in Azkaban?"

Marlene gave him a wicked grin. "I'm getting you some clean clothes, a wand, and then yes. I've just nominated us as the new Hogwarts pest control team."

"Merlin, I've missed you," He brought his lips closer to hers and smirked when she met him halfway.

Her kiss was fire and Sirius wanted to be consumed by it. He devoured her, wanting everything she was willing to give him, everything that he'd thought he'd lost forever when they'd thrown him in Azkaban.

"I've missed you too."

"Those clothes and that wand can wait, yeah?" He murmured as he kissed down her neck, walking her slowly back towards the bedroom he could see from the entry. "I'd need to take these off and all anyway."

She pulled her wand from her holster, increasing the wards on her flat.

"You always were impatient, Black."

"I've waited twelve years, McKinnon," he picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his wasit. "I think I've earned some impatience."

Marlene bit down on his lip as he laid them down on her bed. "Twelve years is a long time, think you can handle me?"

Sirius smirked against her lips, "I've never been able to handle you, it's part of what keeps me coming back."

#ojalá #blackinnon au #blackinnon #sirius x marlene #sirius black x marlene mckinnon #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #harry potter fanfiction #marlene lives au

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ashthewaterghoul · 3 years

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Never Again – A Sirius Black One Shot

Let’s say the Department of Mysteries is not where I thought I’d be this evening, my loony cousin Bellatrix just a few metres from me, and right by my side is Harry. I accidentally called him ‘James’ a few moments ago, duelling death eaters bought back some memories, and he is identical to his father, but he has Lily’s eyes.

The battle seemed to be over, but a bright light and an odd sensation in my chest told me that it was just my battle that was over. I looked to Harry, at least my last view would be one of three of the people I love most, the other one was Remus, I couldn’t see where he was, I just hoped he was okay. The view of Harry stayed in-front of me, but I knew I wasn’t in the same world as him. I was hovering above the ground, and Harry wasn’t looking at me, he was crying, Remus is right behind him, holding him, he’s crying now too, and so am I. Harry ran just off, I went to be right in-front of Remus’ face and held it, I wonder if he can feel it, he’s just staring at the veil which I had just fallen through.

“Sirius?” A voice from behind me said softly, a voice I haven’t heard in 15 years, but one I’ll never forget.

“James.” I said turning to face him, both of us crying our eyes out, I raced and hugged my brother.

“God, I’ve missed you!” Lily said, she was standing by James’ side, also crying.

“Evans.” I hugged her as well.

“It’s been ‘Potter’ for 18 years now.”

“What the hell are you doing here?” James asked me.

“Well Prongs, what do you think?” Oh to call him Prongs to his face was the best feeling in the world.

“You shouldn’t be here yet, Padfoot.” Hearing him call me Padfoot again made me well up.

“Harry will be fine! He has Remus.” I turned to where I had left my godson and my boyfriend, I knew Harry was somewhere else in the Ministry, Remus was still staring, my goddaughter, Tonks was trying to guide him away, she was also crying.

“Over here!” Lily called and we all went to see Harry in front of Voldemort himself.

“Not again.” James said as the two intently watched their son.

“Can’t we do anything?” I ask.

“No, we can see the living world, but can’t interact with it.” That wasn’t James or Lily.

“Reggie.” My baby brother was here as well, I gave him a big bear hug, the last thing I said to him before he died raced into my mind.

“I know what you’re thinking, it’s fine, you were mad at me, it was understandable.” He always could understand me in a way only paralleled by James.

“It was foolish of you to come tonight, Tom.” Albus Dumbledore was in the Ministry now.

We watched Harry escape from death again that night, James and Lily said it never gets easier, seeing your loved ones suffer and not going to help them. My and James still transformed with Remus on full moons, even though he didn’t know, James said he always did it. Regulus told me how he rarely left my side while I was in Azkaban, sometimes he would go to see Andromeda, but that was it. He also told me how and why he died, I’m so proud of what he did. Dorcas and Marlene are in the afterlife with us too, it was nearly just like old times.

I split my time between Remus, Andy and Harry, I couldn’t just try and forget about them. Me and Remus knew we could lose each other again, so we promised that we would move on if we did and be happy, I just didn’t expect him to be with my goddaughter, I was the only person Andy said she’d trust with her daughter even though I was only 13 when she was born. It felt like a knife to the chest watching them be happy, I tried to ignore it and focus on Harry but I couldn’t. It would seem that in their shared grief, they found each other. Tonks has had feelings for Remus for a while but he never returned them because he had me. We hid our renewed relationship because Snape was in the Order and he already told Hogwarts about Remus’ affliction, he didn’t need anything else.

When they got married, I felt… I felt…, I can’t describe the feeling.

Harry started dating the Weasley girl, Ginny, James though it was hilarious that his son fell for a red-head. When Harry got the locket from the cave, Regulus hoped that they would find the real one, when Dumbledore died, he joined in on watching Harry, he would spend a lot of time at Hogwarts though. When Ted, Andy’s husband, died he came straight up to me, and cried that he wouldn’t meet his grandson.

When Tonks got pregnant, I knew I had lost my Moony for good, never again would I have the love of my life back. He had a completely new life without me, sometimes I saw him staring at an old picture of us, he loved that picture, god knows why, its blurry and embarrassing as all hell for the both of us. When his son was born, he was telling him about me and James.

“Gotta start them young.” James said. Remus made Harry the godfather of Teddy Remus Lupin, I know he saw James and Lily when he asked. When Peter died, none of us even acknowledged him, he didn’t deserve it. Although, Lily did use some choice word when he tried to talk to us, I won’t tell you them but they do rhyme with ducking traitor, chitty friend and, my personal favourite, mucking runt, I’m sure you get the idea.

When the Battle of Hogwarts came around, we never left Harry’s side. When Fred Weasley died, he recognised me and tears streaming asked me what was going on, why Percy was crying so much, he was a great trickster. When Snape died, he thought he would get a warm reception, but instead it was Lily and James shouting at him for how he treated Harry. When Remus died, he ran over to me and kissed me, I was so shocked I didn’t return it, which made him visibly confused.

“What about Tonks?” I asked him.

“I knew this would happen.” She said from behind him. I ran and hugged her. “You never got over him, Remus. I could see it in your eyes whenever his name was brought up.”

Much to my surprise, and pleasure, me and Remus wouldn’t be separated, never again.

We got to actually speak to Harry, he used the resurrection stone, just before he sacrificed himself. We stood right behind him, James briefly stood behind Voldemort and did the two finger bunny ears behind his head. We could tell Harry had survived, because he wasn’t with us. He had survived the killing curse again.

“That’s definitely who I want protecting my son.” Remus quipped, I hadn’t heard him joke in years, the war and his lycanthropy had taken a huge toll on him, but in the afterlife, he no-longer transformed, I saw the biggest smile on his face when he found that out. He also became the first werewolf to get a Order of Merlin, we all celebrated. Harry and Ginny had three children, his youngest son’s name was questionable, his first son definitely had the best name. George filled the fourth spot that reformed The Marauders, and we figured out a way to manipulate objects in the living world, our first successful go was writing “Hello Minnie” in McGonagall’s notebook, it made her cry and us. We are figuring out more and more about the afterlife each day, it’s a never ending mystery.

But, the Marauders are back together, and we will not be disbanded, never again.

You can view all my one shots here

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unnecessarywriting · 3 years

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Loneliness is Not an Option - Remus Lupin

A/N: Here is my last Christmas fic for this year. I hope you all enjoyed all of them that I uploaded. This is one that I’ve had on my mind for a week now. It’s short and sweet, although it starts a little angsty. It came from the song “Please Come Home for Christmas” and I couldn’t help but give a little love to Remus. Thank you all and I hope you all had a Merry Christmas!

Loneliness is Not an Option

How do we define loneliness? Such an existential question comes with a backstory, so here it is. It was Christmas night. Yes, you had spent the holiday completely on your own, but it wasn’t Remus’ fault. It also wasn’t the fault of any of your friends. It was quite depressing how you had no one to comfort you, or send you fun Christmas cards, or even just wish you a Happy Christmas. They all had duties to the Order. You tried to join, but Remus was insistent that he keep you safe. You still participated in certain activities, but he had wanted at least one person from the friend group to live their dreams. That’s what you were supposed to be doing, except it wasn’t going as planned.

You and Remus had bought a house right out of school. You were excited to start living with the love of your life, but you hadn’t anticipated how often he would not be home. You knew it wasn’t his fault. You honestly thought that he wanted to be home with you more than you wanted him home with you. In the beginning of the holiday season, you thought that you would be lucky, but when he walked into the living with a sunken look on his face, you knew he wasn’t going to be around often. You were rightfully disappointed that you wouldn’t be able to celebrate your first Christmas outside of Hogwarts with Remus, but you understood that the war was a bit more pressing.

The sadness didn’t really sink in until you decorated the tree. You had always dreamed of the situation being filled with laughter, playful kisses, and new memories, but that isn’t how it happened. You were alone, drunk, and singing along to muggle Christmas songs that came on the radio. It was about a week before Christmas when you put the tree up. You tried to put it off so you could decorate it with Remus, but when a letter came from him telling you that he might not be back until after the holiday, you stopped waiting and pulled out the firewhiskey. When everything was on the tree except for the star on top, you sat down on the ground. Your eyes traced over the outline of the tree, but the Christmas spirit avoided your soul. You sighed to yourself.

“This next one is a new release from the Eagles. Here is “Please Come Home for Christmas,” you heard the radio spit out. You laughed at the irony, but listened anyway. As the lyrics flowed through your ear, you felt the first tears of the holiday season start their journey down your face. You were completely alone.

The following days, it seemed like the world was playing some sort of prank on you. Everytime you turned on the radio, you heard that song’s melody flow through your body. It was catchy, you were not going to lie, but the words haunted you as you dreamed of being reunited with your love. Christmas Eve, you sat alone in your home, thinking about Remus. You hoped he was safe, but you wanted to be selfish. Just this once. You wanted him home with you. You stared into the fire and thought back to the last Christmas you spent with him.

“Moony, stop eating all of the chocolate. Share some with me at least.” He smiled with a bit of guilt. He was like a puppy who just got caught tearing up someone’s slippers. He was absolutely adorable. You fell into his embrace on the couch.

“I can’t wait until next Christmas,” he spoke earnestly. “It will be just the two of us, in our home. We will decorate the place to be the most comforting and joyful place. And, we will have plenty of chocolate on standby. Then, we will exchange gifts, and just spend the day with each other. No one to interrupt us.” You giggled at his plans. He was simple, but he meant the best. He wanted the both of you to just have each other. You knew that it was likely that a certain group of boys would ultimately crash your day, but you weren’t complaining. You were just excited to have a future with the man who was holding you.

How naïve you two were. If only you could see yourself and tell you to not get your hopes up. Your bitterness was ruining the holiday. You wanted to turn it all off, and you did. You unplugged the lights, and took down the stockings. The tree remained in its place, but you took off the star. You would take care of the tree the following day. You then went to bed.

The following morning, you slept in. You had no reason to get up early. The rest of the day was filled with moping around the house. You looked at some of the photos that rested above your fireplace. One in particular caught your eye,

“James! Sirius! I swear, if you break anything, I will make your life a living hell. Remus, stop them. I don’t want to have to clean up after them. Thank you for being a good guest Peter, I just wish the other two would learn.” You face palmed as Lily handed you a glass of wine.

“I would try to stop James, but he is truly impossible.” You looked at her with misery written on your face. She laughed at your expression. “On a different note, I love this place Y/N. It is absolutely gorgeous and perfect for the two of you.”

“Thank you Lily, although I don’t think it is going to remain in one piece so long as those two are still here.” You giggled as you heard Remus try to lecture them on what it means to be a respectful guest.

“Do you think you’re gonna have everyone over for the holidays?” You thought for a moment.

“Maybe, although I think Remus might just want it to be the two of us. I will say that if you did decide to just pop by for dinner or something, I certainly wouldn’t object,” you hinted at her. She caught on and nodded as if she was already making plans.

“Darling, those two are impossible. I don’t know what to do.” Remus looked exhausted from trying to stop the other two. You laughed at him and pulled him in for a hug.

“Aww, did the two children break you? What was it, two hours? Lily, I think you owe me 5 galleons,” you joked. She laughed with you as Remus rolled his eyes.

Lily looked at the counter and saw a camera sitting there.

“Hey, let’s get a picture of you two to commemorate your moving in here.” You both agreed with her idea, and got ready for a cute pose. What you didn’t see was the two troublemakers sharing a knowing look.

That photo was one of your favorites. You and Remus looked so happy. That looked changed to one of both fear and confusion as Padfoot and Prongs entered. Yes, the deer and dog made their way into one of your favorite photos. You still hadn’t fully forgiven James for almost denting your walls with his antlers.

You walked into the kitchen that night to start cooking dinner. It wasn’t going to be anything given that you were alone, but you needed to eat something. You reluctantly turned on the radio to hear that dreaded song. At this point, you just sang along to the song that defined your Christmas. Alone, and hoping that the love of your life would return in time to end all of your sorrow and fill it with happiness.

“You know, I think I can make the sorrow, grief, and pain disappear.” You whipped around at the sound of his voice.

“You’re home,” you said as more of a statement than a question.

“I’m home.”

“For real?”

“Yes, for real. We finished earlier than expected, and I rushed home to be with you. I promised you a Christmas featuring me, and well, chocolate. I brought both.” He had an awkward smile as he held up some chocolate.

You ran over to him and practically jumped into his arms. He held onto you as you quietly sobbed into his sweater. You had never been happier. The only sounds in the house were your quiet sobs, and the sounds of muggle Christmas music.

“Dance with me,” he muttered. You pulled away and adjusted your body as you two silently danced to the tunes. It was a peaceful bliss. Some time passed as you two enjoyed each other’s company like he promised the year before.

“You know, I told Lily that she could invade our Christmas, but now I kind of hope she doesn’t.”

“Why is that, my dear?” You looked into his eyes, and then looked at what was left of the Christmas decorations in the living room.

“Well, as you can see, there isn’t a whole lot of joy left in this room.” You were feeling a little guilty for taking down everything.

“I guess it’s a good thing that none of us really care. We just wanted to be together anyway!” Sirius was standing with the rest of the group. Everyone looked happy to be safe in the same room. You smiled and got up to hug all of them.

Was it late? Yes, but none of you cared. You had enough room for everyone, and you weren’t about to kick out the people you desired to see most. Your night was filled with tears from the constant laughter that the group brought, firewhiskey to loosen everyone up, joyful memories that came from the dumb things you all began, and passionate kisses with Remus as the muggle tunes continued to play from the radio.

“You know, as long as I have you, loneliness is not an option. I promise that when this war is finally over, you will never spend another Christmas alone, or any holiday for that matter. I love you so much Y/N. Happy Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas Remus. I love you too, more than you’ll ever know.” You smiled as you kissed him with all of the love in the world to power it.

#harry potter x reader #young remus x reader #remus lupin x reader #remus lupin imagine #young sirius imagine #Sirius black imagine #harry potter imagine #draco malfoy imagine #george weasley imagine #fred weasley imagine

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