Things batfam stans need to leave behind in 2023:
Jason's Lazarus pit rage
Thinking Tim's parents were horribly abusive and hated him
Only caring about Stephanie in terms of her relationship to another person (ex: Tim's bestie/ex/gf or Cass' gf/bestie)
Treating Jason or Stephanie like they're stupid
Feral Demon Child Damian
Permanent sunshine boy Dick Grayson
Any "[blank] was the real violent Robin" discourse
Really just any reducing or sectioning of certain traits to certain batfam members and not allowing other characters to exhibit those same traits (ex: see sunshine Dick Grayson)
But also stealing traits from other characters and projecting them onto someone else (ex: Jason getting Dick's personality in fics. He is not the same type of big brother Dick is canonically)
Purposefully mischaracterizing characters for angst (ex: Dick sent Tim to Arkham, my beloathed. also again see Tim's parents)
Trying really hard to nuclearize the family. They are an unconventional family for many reasons, and that's why they're interesting.
"Alfred solos the batfam"
Making Duke "the normal one" and completely forgetting to give him an actual personality.
Cass using sign language because she can read body language (note: does not apply to YJ Cass who has damaged vocal chords)
Cass being used as a prop for her brothers
Tim being weak, woobified baby
Feel free to add on ~~
Don't send hate over these things because idgaf, they are harmful mischaracterizations, and many are built on total ignorance and often racism, classism, ableism, and sexism.
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Dick and Jason talking on a rooftop
Dick: So you just, like, told that crime alley kid you guys are family now?
Jason: look Dick, if you don't like someone's family, you gotta become their family. If I'm those kids' big brother, then I know they have at least one family member who cares about them.
Dick: You're turning into your father
Jason:
Jason: I will give you 5 seconds before I beat you to a bloody pulp
Batman: *suddenly standing over them* You will do no such thing
Jason and Dick:
Jason and Dick: *both hanging onto the roof, trying to pull themselves up*
Jason: I can't believe you summoned him
Dick: Me? It was you and your 'beat you to a bloody pulp'
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bman and jason have a seriously strained relationship as is, and our braindead coma patients at DC have no interest in fixing it because Drama Sells, so what do you think would genuinely help these two get back to something real?
Ooh, great question, Anon! Thank you :)
So, right if the bat (pun intended) we know that Bruce and Jason don’t get along well, specifically because of their dissimilar morals.
In DC comics, Bruce only sees in a black or white, this or that way of thinking. It’s either ‘continue to fight crime and leave the rest to the justice system’ OR ‘focus on controlling crime and killing criminals to protect others’. Jason on the other hand sees both of these as opposing morals, and he also recognizes that there is a middle ground which is ‘get rid of the absolute worst of them’. Because Jason understands Bruce, he knows that nothing will make Bruce take a life or do things differently (I mean, his own death didn’t make a difference to Bruce’s morals), but Jason also believes that Bruce doesn’t have to change who he is, he just needs to accept that Jason’s methods are right for Gotham. Ultimately Bruce killing Joker for Jason would have helped their relationship, because Jason would have known that he was loved and his life was worth more than the clown’s. And in UTRH Jason says “I’m not talking about cobblepot or riddler or Dent… I’m talking about him, just him” Bare with me, I know that Jason says this regarding Bruce killing Joker for a different reason being -Joker’s crime was a lot more personal. However I still feel like regardless if Joker hadn’t killed Jason, Jason would still feel the same way about Joker- meaning he’d still think Joker deserves to die because of the sheer brutality and sadism and absolute power the clown has on Gotham & it’s people. (More than any other Gotham city rogues!)
So back to the point, if Bruce acknowledged (like Jason does!) the middle ground of killing the worst of the worst, then that would bring the two closer together.
Listen, I get that Bruce killing would forever change ‘The Batman’, but Bruce doesn’t have to kill people to accept the ideology because he knows Jason is right, he knows crime is down because of Jason. But NO!, DC has to make him beat the shit out of his son instead of having a fucking conversation.
Which brings me to this point. For some reason DC seems to think that these two have to fight no matter what. If they went to have soup with Alfred they’d still end up punching each other for whatever reason. It’s ridiculous. Is this what they think readers want? I completely agree with you, Anon. Drama sells, unfortunately.
The next point is that Bruce needs to actually have faith in his son because guess what?, Jason needs his father’s support to do good. Actual good. Bruce second guessing Jason and not trusting him with missions is exactly what gets Jason frustrated, causing him to feel inferior, worthless, or unlovable in Bruce’s eyes. From a psychological perspective, if Bruce trusted Jason and told him he trusted him, Jason would feel so much better about himself and their relationship. It’s so much better for a child to prove their parents are right for trusting them (motivating them positively) than having a child strive to prove their parents wrong (motivating them negatively). Bruce needs to stop being so condescending and Jason will finally feel heard. Bruce treats him like a child which is just so wrong and demeaning.
Last point is that Bruce needs to spend more time with Jason as Bruce and not as Batman. Sometimes Jason needs his father and that’s okay. It’s up to Bruce to be there for him. Whether Jason is an adult or not, he should be able to feel like he can call or visit or ask for help from Bruce without Bruce getting angry or telling him he’s off the mission.
At this point DC just needs to get the whole family seeing some therapists.
In conclusion, things that would help mend Bruce and Jason’s relationship:
Finding a common middle ground among their morals
Bruce should not beat his sons regardless if they are ‘criminals’ in his eyes or not
Bruce killing the Joker (this would bring Jason closer to Bruce, but it does cause some changes in Bruce’s character).
COMMUNICATION (this is the first step in therapy probably)
Having them be partners and act like partners. Bruce needs to get off his high horse and stop being so condescending to Jason.
Similar to the above-Bruce needs to trust Jason and make sure Jason knows Bruce trusts him.
Spend more time outside of crime fighting. Idk go watch a baseball game or go fishing. Have some family dinners and talk about the times when things were easy and fun and silly, before everything went to shit. Jason deserves his dad and Bruce deserves his son.
Therapy (The whole family would benefit).
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do you believe Bruce is emotionally abusive? ik fans prioritise physical abuse and ultimately ignore emotional abuse tactics like parentification etc because it’s not “that bad”. I don’t believe Dick ever resents Bruce for letting him be robin (he’s grateful for it) , but in ntt he mostly resents him for being emotionally closed off, and rejecting him as a partner. Bruce worries for his kids safety so he pushes the whole “if you’re not perfect you’re dead” mentality onto Dick which ultimately is harmful to him. He’ll never regret being a hero but the rift between the two isn’t just a “we want different things” scenario but more that they’re incapable of giving the other what they want.
bruce being emotionally closed off from dick is what’s revisionist about that version of canon though. i think bruce can be bad at communicating sometimes esp when he’s deeply pained (like in knightfall, for example) but for the most part he and dick are shown to have great communication for decades before new teen titans and the adjacent post crisis starlin canon starts to rewrite that dynamic into something else entirely. per that version of canon i do believe he’s emotionally abusive but it’s not a version of canon i particularly appreciate bc it requires overriding the dynamic they had previously where they could certainly be prone to disagree at times but bruce was nonetheless willing to have an open and understanding conversation with dick about whatever the disagreement was. even the whole idea that bruce is responsible for dick believing that he has to be perfect or he has to be dead is one that new teen titans cements (or that issue of batman where bruce makes dick quit and jason is introduced thereafter)
i get that it’s easy to take new teen titans as gospel bc it is in essence the textbook source for dick but i think there should be some awareness too of how it twists that relationship between them and not necessarily for the better. i’m not opposed to bruce having faults he has to answer for. i absolutely agree he’s not cognizant enough of the complexes dick develops as a result of wanting to be seen as an equal, and thereby can’t realize the effect it has on dick for him to still be protective and fearful even if it’s ultimately out of goodwill and love. and there’s also the fact that even if he gives dick the space he desires to lead his own life it doesn’t mean he should be hesitant to reach out bc he’s afraid he’ll overstep by doing so, as a parent he should reaffirm his love for dick regularly regardless of knowing he might get some pushback bc dick is growing into his own (again, knightfall is a really superb example of this). but i also think those are tensions you can wholeheartedly explore without rendering bruce into a controlling and abusive figure, and i’m not sure who it benefits to write bruce as such in the long run
some of dick’s problems have to be his own, and he’ll never escape bruce’s shadow if the only source point of issues in his life is his relationship with bruce. that’s something i would actually apply to the robins at large. hardly any of them are allowed to explore problems entirely unique to themselves and i think that’s in large part bc writers simultaneously portray a mildly to explicitly abusive bruce at their leisure while refusing to ever actually address the elephant in the room that is literally of their own creation. a lot of people believe the bruce shouldn’t be an abuser argument is framed entirely as a resistance to bruce’s character assassination and for me i can admit that’s part of it, but a more pertinent part of it should also be the fact that bruce being written as an abuser is what truly chains his children to him forever to the point that they can never grow beyond that abuse bc writers refuse to allow them to. imagine the problems the robins could be addressing individually in their lives if not everything came down to them being fucked up bc that’s the way bruce raised them or failed to thereby. there’s a lot about the robins as individuals that’s deeply interesting and i think it’s not just a disservice to bruce but to them as well to write the relationships this way bc it obscures their own agency and ability to be explored for more than a haunted legacy narrative
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