#I should be finishing up a commission but today was shit
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“I PUT VEGETABLE OIL IN MY CAR” — TR MEN.
featuring: hanma shuji, ryuguji ken.
note: i missed making these. COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN.
HANMA —
when he walks into your shared apartment after not seeing you all day, he’s already confused when he sees the bottles of vegetable oil resting on top of the counter.
“what exactly are you trying to fry?” he questions in a playful tone, removing his jacket and shoes before joining you in the kitchen where you were pretending to stare at the bottle too hard.
“I’m just trying to see if I used the right amount for my car.”
pause.
“you what?” you have to bite the inside of your cheeks to stop yourself from laughing. the look of utter shock that paints hanma’s face was priceless but it immediately morphs into a skeptical expression because he knows— he knows you wouldn’t do something like that without asking him or at least telling him you took your car to get the oil changed.
“I changed my car’s oil today.”
“and you used vegetable oil.”
you nod and his face is in his hands for a couple of seconds before he’s pulling them away and staring at you with his intense, golden eyes.
“baby, why didn’t you text me?” he slowly approached you, hands now resting on your shoulders.
“you were busy, so I figured I would take care of it myself.” you beamed up at him and a smile crept up on your face when you took in how he was holding back a grin himself.
“oh doll, you flatter me. always caring about me, huh?”
“always.”
“great, now put that oil back where it was. I know you didn’t change your car’s oil today.” he kisses your lips softly before pulling away and walking to the bathroom.
“but— how did you know!”
“next time try to hide your phone better.” shit, that’s what gave you away.
“so if it wasn’t for my phone, what would you have done?” following him to the bathroom, your eyes took in the many tattoos that adorned the skin of his back as he stripped to get into the shower.
“bought you a new car. are you gonna join me or what?”
how could you say no to that.
DRAKEN —
you didn’t know if this was a good idea. in fact, you didn’t even want to do it. manjiro dared you to prank the man knowing very well he would have a heart attack and your boyfriend’s best friend lived for causing him trouble . even if it meant using you to do it.
“did you hear that? she tried to change her oil today. you should be proud.” mikey mumbled as he sat on a chair near where ken was working and said man immediately raised his head to look at you suspiciously at the mention of you doing anything remotely related to cars and bikes and not coming to him for advice.
“what do you mean?”
“what he means is that I changed my car’s oil. aren’t you proud of me?”
“oh I am, baby. what oil did you use?”
“vegeta-“ before you could even finish your sentence, draken looks up at you with sharp eyes, almost daring you to finish your sentence.
“what?” you feigned confusion and ken almost instantly took notice of the way you sucked in your lips, something you did when you were feeling anxious about something, or perhaps trying to hide something.
“so you put vegetable oil in your car.” draken spoke flatly, unimpressed with your attempt to trick him.
and when you nodded, his bored expression turned into a “you’re really keeping up with your lie?” with one eyebrow raised.
“my baby isn’t stupid,” he said while staring at mikey this time whose face scrunched in fake disgust when he heard his best friend refer to you as “his baby”. meanwhile, you could only try to hide your face to cover your blush and groan a little in frustration.
“you did that on purpose! you knew it would throw us all off!”
“then don’t try to trick me next time.”
2023 © all works belong to slttygeto. do not repost my work anywhere else.
#moon's works#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers#tokyo revengers headcanons#tokyo revengers x you#tokyo revengers fluff#hanma x y/n#hanma smut#hanma shuuji smut#hanma fluff#hanma x you#hanma x reader#tokrev hanma#hanma shuuji x reader#draken fluff#draken#draken x reader fluff#draken x reader smut#draken x reader#draken smut#tokyo revengers draken
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📸 CONFESSIONS [DANNY JOHNSON X GN READER]
A/N: this feels like it should be a fic but i don't wanna write so it's "headcanons" instead. i need this man.
WARNINGS: blood, slight violence, make out sessions.
TYPE: headcanons, gn reader, romantic
---
Grass and dirt cover your backside as you're forcibly pushed to the ground. Sparks fly from the generator you were just working on, stuttering and smoking.
It was almost finished too. You look up to glare at the looming shadow on top of you. The Entity's choice of the killer for today was Ghostface himself, just perfect. You try to pry away from him but it's no use now, with your arms being pinned above your head to keep you from struggling.
"Oh, no no no! Can't have you scattering off again, now can we," Danny chuckles out while wagging his finger. God if you were able to move, you would punch this asshole so hard he would be out of commission for weeks.
He seems to notice your scowl and raises his knife to your throat, inches away from slicing. "Look how helpless you are. It pairs real nice with your pretty face," he says with a teasing tone of voice. You call him out, a smug grin plastered on your face as you point out the effects you must have on him. He must be head over heels for you if you're still alive and not on that dreaded hook.
Your taunting works as he grips his knife in anger. If only that mask was off, perhaps he was all flushed. Seems like your guess was correct.
"You're going to regret saying that, you little shit".
---
☆- as much as he doesn't want to admit it out loud, he really is obsessed with you.
☆- you're the only survivor with both bark and bite, always coming back with remarks and teases. it drives him mad.
☆- danny tries so hard to push back the giddiness he feels when he sees you during matches.
☆- seems like the type to subconsciously go for everyone else and save you for last so both of you are with each other for longer (which he does).
☆- always likes to take pictures of you whether you notice or not. when you're working on a generator, helping your teammates, or simply just sitting at the survivor camp laughing and smiling at your friends. likes to string them up on the walls of his cabin to admire your wonderful looks.
☆- he can't tell whether it's some weird obsession or genuine love. he doesn't have much experience with those types of feelings so it's not the easiest to pinpoint. you guys are just going to be stuck in this little cat and mouse game if neither of you make a move.
☆- danny grows on you as time passes by. while you don't show your interest in the same way he does, you just like to play along with his games. he loves a challenge, so you'll give him one.
☆- despite witnessing how shocked and flustered he gets whenever you say something back to him, you can't help but question if he truly feels the same way. you'd think he would've made a move by now.
☆- it starts to get to you. you're tired of running around in circles and having your thoughts plagued with questions and wonders about what he feels, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.
☆- during one of the many matches you had against ghostface, you were the final one left. desperately trying to listen for that glorious low drone of the open hatch.
☆- you clutch your bleeding sides, palms stained red. an attempt to unhook dwight let to you being attacked by danny (he blows you a kiss right after).
☆- the hatch is in your sights now, exhaling a breath of relief as you make a run for your exit. before you can reach it, a knife is dug into your shoulder.
☆- you cry out as you stumble onto the floor, danny's laughter ringing in your ears. you hit the ground in frustration as you hiss in pain.
☆- he lowers himself to look you in the eyes all the while taunting you, reaching in his pocket to pull out his camera for another picture.
☆- perhaps it's time to throw your thoughts out the window, you think to yourself as you pull him down to kiss the mouth part of his mask. you hear him make a noise of surprise as he drops his camera and jumps off you.
☆- for once in his life, danny is at a loss for words. he brings a gloved hand to his mask, breath heavy and heart racing. he was so caught off-guard that he didn't notice you crawl into the hatch, ending the match while he stands there dazed.
☆- when you spawn back at camp, the others congratulate you for making it out on your own. a couple of them ask you how you managed get out, yet you can only mumble out that it was pure luck, hoping they don't see your flushed face.
☆- danny is no different of course. he immediately makes a beeline to his cabin to think about everything that happened, the kiss replaying in his head over and over. he falls to his knees and glances up at your photos, wondering how this moment ever came to be.
☆- it's complete radio silence from then on. you haven't gone against him for about a week and you didn't even catch him stalking the survivor camp like he usually does.
☆- you start to wonder if you went to far, guilt creeping up on your mind. maybe he didn't see you that way. this whole situation made you seem out of it and unmotivated, your fellow survivors questioning your state of mind.
☆- you decide to stay on the outskirts of the camp one night. the others are making idle chat around the fire while waiting for the next match to finish. you kick a pebble as you stare at the grassy earth, lost in your thoughts.
☆- suddenly, hands cover your mouth and eyes as you get dragged into the forest. you thrash around violently and swear into the hand to let you go but the perpetrator's grip never falters.
☆- soon enough, you're being dragged into a cabin in the depths of the woods. you get dropped to the floor, the wood creaking below your weight. quickly raising to your feet, you yell various profanities and questions at the kidnapper before stopping to see danny standing in front of you.
☆- his mask is nowhere to be seen, yet his face still remains hidden underneath his hood. fist are balled to his sides as you feel his eyes gaze into your own. you think it's time to apologize for what you did.
☆- before you could even muster a word, his lips are on yours. they're chapped but you can't bring yourself to care as arms wrap around your shoulders, pushing you against the wall. you stumble a bit at first but quickly return the kiss with the same desperation.
☆- tongues dance together sinfully as you both make up for lost time, hands grasping whatever they could find. you don't know how long it's been going on for, constantly taking breaks to catch your breath before kissing him again. but god, something deep in your mind begs it for it to never stop.
☆- the air is too hot for your liking as you pull away (holding back a chuckle in reaction to danny's whine at the loss of contact). even when you're this close to him, his face is never shown. you would ask to see, but perhaps that's for a later time when you gain more trust.
☆- he looks at you, eyes filled with hunger and adoration. you try your hardest not to look away in embarrassment, and instead stare back with lidded eyes.
☆- "i think i'm in love with you." danny finally breaks the silence in the air. you raise an eyebrow as if to ask "you think?"
☆- danny grumbles and turns his gaze to the side. "give me a break, things never got this out of hand." you're confused about what he meant but quickly realized he meant love in general. it makes sense to you, seeing his stalking habits and actual murdering sprees.
☆- you give him a warm smile, affirming him that you plan to help him through the roller-coaster of love. he rests his head on the crook of your neck in silent thanks as you feel the smile against your skin.
☆- yeah, you could say that he's into you.
---
#📃 headcanons#💥 not a request#❤️ romantic#🔪 blood n' violence#dead by daylight x reader#dead by daylight x gn reader#dbd x reader#dbd x gn reader#ghostface x reader#ghostface x gn reader#danny johnson x reader#danny johnson x gn reader
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Linguistic Divide
Zhongli sometimes has a bit of trouble understanding your way of speech.
★彡basically when a modern-day person like you now lives in teyvat, colloquialisms are bound to confound. poor zhongli. (he still loves you)
“Gosh, Zhongli,” you breathe, eyeing your husband as he gets ready for the day, “you really are the drippiest man in all of Teyvat.”
At this, Zhongli wipes his upper lip, confused. “My nose doesn’t appear to be dripping, darling.”
You giggle, shaking your head and adjusting his tie. “Ah, you. You’re so adorable.”
“I should be saying that about you,” he responds with a smile, taking one of your hands and kissing it tenderly. “Will you be heading out soon for your commissions?”
“Mm, not quite, I got a rather interesting letter from one of my clients at the Guild. He decided my assistance yesterday wasn’t up to par, even though it’s thanks to me that he got out of it alive, and now I’m living rent-free in his head.”
It never occurred to Zhongli that people had to pay rent to be able to harbor thoughts about others, but he supposed there were still many things about humanity he had yet to discover. “I see. And what does his letter say, my love?”
“Nothing but him being salty as hell. It’s literally all salt.”
“Oh, what an unagreeable man,” Zhongli mutters with a frown, scorning this person for putting plain salt in an envelope.
Shrugging, you add with a snort, “It’s fine, his response is sending me.”
“Oh!” Zhongli, instead of laughing along with you, merely softens his gaze sadly. “Sending you where, my love?”
“Sorry?” You tilt your head, frowning.
Pulling you closer, your poor unsuspecting husband hugs you tightly. “Why did you not inform me of this earlier? Where is this man sending you? Not too far, I hope? You will be back soon, yes? And how much is he paying?”
Giggling, you shake your head. “Oh, my silly man. I meant that his response was very entertaining!”
Zhongli’s lips part in realisation. “Ah...yes, another one of your colloquialisms, I take it?”
“Yes sir.” You kiss him and sit down. “Anyway, I’ll have to come up with a suitable clapback,” you say, starting to pen a response. Your poor husband stands around and watches, wondering how exactly applause is meant to serve as a good rebuttal. But if that man had put salt in the letter, then anything was possible, he thinks. He watches as you scribble a response letter to the client, standing up when it’s finished. “I’ll send this out later today. Chances are I could also run into him at the Guild, and shit could hit the fan.”
“I pray that no feces make contact with anything, darling,” Zhongli offers helpfully, as he gathers his work-things and smoothens his outfit. “As for me, I must be off now - do take care, my dear, and if you run into any trouble, come see me at once.” He stands near the door and holds his arms out to you.
You hug your husband tight, and kiss him on the cheek. “Bye bye, I love you! By the time you get back, I’ll probably have lots of tea to spill!”
“Oh dear!” After Zhongli kisses you back and heads out to work, he makes a mental reminder to buy a new mop to clean up all the soon-to-be spilled tea with.
#sini writes#zhongli#genshin impact#zhongli x reader#genshin#genshin x reader#zhongli x you#fluff#drabble
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Monday of Appreciation: Part 102
Hello everyone, Smite here!
First MoA post in the new era. What has changed? Not that much, really. I'll still list a couple of stories I found good below and tell you why you should read them and leave love for the writers. It's insane to me how many writers are attempting Kinktober and really release fics every damn day. One of those (mostly short) smuts is even on this ranking!
Update: I am writing. Slowly. My work is spread across multiple pieces so I don't know when one of them gets finished. Patience, friends.
Here we go!
-1-
@iznsfw: Day Off ft. Xiaoting
IZ when normal smut: GOAT-esque
IZ when commission: LITERAL GOAT
I can't stretch how fucking GENIUS this 10k threesome with fucking Xiaoting is. Really, I can't stretch it, like I can't stretch her pussy. okay wait what. IZ has done it again, and I'm soooooo close do doing a Kep1er agenda post, because there is 0% pureness in that group.
-2-
@ggidolsmuts: Bases Loaded, Holes Filled ft. Xiaoting, Yujin, Mashiro
Ahem, agenda time:
WE. NEED. MORE. KEP1ER. SMUTS. And if you think there are enough, you are wrong, and you will be wrong. The best way to write more Kep1er is to write more Kep1er in a Kep1er fic. The more members, the merrier. Thank you, dear comrade ddeun for doing your part, now it's up to YOU to spread the Kep1er agenda!
-3-
@okaylikesmomo: Exchange Pt. 1: Behind the Stage ft. BLACKPINK
BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS OKAY QT<3 BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS BLACPINK SLUTS
-4-
@essentiallyleaf: Kinktober Day 6: Dacryphilia ft. Karina
This mf posts like 100 things a day and has literally done Kinktober up until this point, so you might wonder why I picked this part. Well, it's because Karina, deepthroat and fucking dacryphilia. Fuck, shit makes me rabid.
-5-
@existslikepristin: Joy, but Genie index ft. Joy
This is more than just a simple one shot story or series. Our dear ELP does voting at the end of each part which determine in which the story might go. It's a great mixture of decision making and unpredictability because ELP has a blooming fantasy. The premise is basically that Joy is a Genie, you have three wishes and it's definitely gone sexual.
-6-
@dreamcatchers-husband: Don't give in ft. Handong
Oh, you better give in and read this, because there is [REDACTED] at the end.
What? You thought I'd spoil what happens in this fic? No, definitely not. Give Handong some love and some dong (otherwise she'd only be Han (haha (I'm in misery, kill me))).
-7-
@braaan: In all the ways that matter ft. Yunjin
So idol x fan fics are... like the simplest, most basic stereotype in kpop fanfiction. Put a couple of twists on it and it's already getting more interesting, but if you can actually do a unique story that has me engaged in more than just "Yunjin is literally sex incarnate, breed" you got yourself a good fic.
Look, this is a good fic, reeeead it!
That's it for today. Feel free to send me asks. Have a nice time, until we meet again on MoA!
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👉👈 could i request another lil ficlet that includes steve getting comfortable with his body as it changes over time, that shit is so healing
Hi anon, of course you can!! I love getting requests, even though I might take a bit to answer them!!
I'm going to take this one in a slightly different direction, if that's alright with you. I've got a couple of thoughts about Steve and migraines that I'm using this opportunity to share.
(For those who missed it, this ficlet is the one anon is referring to!)
Steve thought, like most people, that his twenties would be filled with adventure. He'd get to party, make mistakes, learn about himself, and have fun. He'd go places and find a place to call home and maybe even a person, too.
But he's twenty years old, and at least once every two weeks, he's out of commission because his brain decides to scream at him.
Scream is probably too kind of a word. Jackhammer through his eye socket fits better, but that takes too much effort to say.
Today is one of the jackhammer days, and Steve doesn't even get all the fun warning signs and the aura before it sets in because he wakes up to pain so bad that opening his eyes feels monumental.
Woo-hoo, twenties!
He rolls over to smash his face into his pillow. It blocks out the light, and the pressure helps, but being face-down is going to make him nauseous in a few minutes.
What he'd give to be normal.
A hand snakes its way into his hair, lightly ruffling it, and while, normally, Steve considers himself exceptionally lucky and ahead of the curve (for once) for already having found his person to call home, right now he wishes he were alone.
Not really. The hand in his hair has to go, though. It's too much when breathing hurts.
He groans and tries to move out of the way, but that hurts, too.
"Oh, shit," Eddie whispers, taking his hand away. "Migraine day?"
Steve hums, though it ends up being more of a whimper.
"Okay," Eddie says.
The bed shifts next to Steve, and the sound of footsteps appears and disappears. Before Steve musters the courage or willpower to turn back over and open his eyes, the bed dips again, and gentle hands are rolling him over.
He groans in anticipation of the light, but it doesn't hit his eyes. Eddie must have closed the curtains.
"Water is on the nightstand, along with your meds. I don't know how much they'll help now, but if you can stomach them, I think you should take them," Eddie says softly. "Do you want the ice pack?"
Steve nods, just barely.
Gently, Eddie places the ice pack, already wrapped in a towel, on his forehead. Steve sighs when the cold makes contact with his skin.
"Sorry," he rasps. He's glad Eddie brought him water, even if he can't make himself grab it yet. His voice is a wreck.
"What for?" Eddie asks, lightly running a hand up and down Steve's bare arm.
"Making you do this."
Eddie huffs. Steve cracks his eyes open to see him frowning, like he expected.
"You don't make me do anything," Eddie says. "Do I make you do anything on the days my nerve pain flares?"
"No," Steve mumbles.
It's just not fair. The monsters are dead and gone. Steve is young and strong and hot and able, except for the days when he isn't. He shouldn't have days when he isn't, not when the shit that caused them is dead.
He wishes this was something like the Mind Flayer. Something that could be exorcised from him or cut out like a tumor. Something that can be killed.
Steve is good at killing things. He isn't good at fighting by standing down.
"So, we have a day in," Eddie says, still quiet. "I wanted to finish my book, anyway. Mind if I read next to you?"
"Sounds good," Steve says.
He closes his eyes again, hears the rustling of sheets as Eddie gets settled in next to him.
It does sound good. Eddie has a way of spinning things, of distracting them both from both of their pain.
Steve wishes he could see himself in Eddie's eyes. He wonders what he'd look like. He wonders about the thoughts that Eddie doesn't share.
He's long grown past the misguided belief that those thoughts are bad.
Steve isn't good at fighting by standing down. But he thinks, as the light sound of Eddie's steady breathing and the blissful dark and the pleasant cold of the ice pack start to lull him back to sleep, despite the pain, that he doesn't have to fight. That this is just a condition of existence, just something to be lived with.
Not an enemy. Just baggage. And Steve can use his arms to hold it instead of swing.
He isn't normal. Neither is Eddie. And that's okay, too.
#ria writes#asked and answered#thanks for asking!!#anon#steddie#steddie ficlet#stranger things#stranger things ficlet#st#st ficlet#steve harrington#eddie munson
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i need money
haven't been able to work 'cause family's got covid
can't borrow money from my stepdad 'cause he's been jobless last 2 months after the project his team was working on finished. he's got interviews lined up but i got bills. commissions for money are a no-go i've been so mentally ill the past two years i have an insane backlog and besides that my tablet pen's buttons broke and the cord's finicky and i hurt my drawing shoulder today. (honestly i should open donations for a tablet too but bro i need to get out of the red first)
reblogs appreciated. don't feel pressure to give to me if there's someone else in greater need and all that.
if you play ffx!v i will straight up sell you g!l for money i am not kidding hit me up. its better than losing phone service irl or some shit
$striehart
pp helioboros
edit: i got money. still not 100% solidamius cause the future is always grim but don't need donations so urgently. still offering to sell g!l cause. well.
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Got asked if I had any tips for new artists during my stream today and I figured I'd put them here too:
Draw, seriously, just do it. This is the hardest part and also the most crucial. Just run at it screaming and refuse to back down. You just gotta do it.
Always do your wrist/arm/shoulder stretches before drawing and make sure to take breaks to stretch/re-center yourself if you've been going for a few hours or more! (Here's the stretches I do, and they help with gaming and writing and desk work too, they're just a good idea all around!)
Try to draw less from the wrist and more from the shoulder(move your arm more and your wrist less basically). That and stretches will help you avoid carpal tunnel which is never fun.
Consistency is only something you need to worry about if you're like, working in the industry/doing some types of commissions(like an twitch emote bundle or a comic book). If you're just starting out or only drawing for yourself it literally doesn't matter. Like, I don't think I've ever drawn a character exactly the same way twice, it's fine.
Don't do warm up drawings, do warm up scribbles. Doodles circles and squares and lines and swirls until you feel nice and lose, then start actually drawing.
If you're between 50-90% done with something and you REALLLY start to hate it, keep going. You just gotta power through, cuz chances are it's perfectly fine(or even really good) and your monkey brain is being a jackass coward chugging that impostor syndrome juice.
If you finish and you still hate it put it away until tomorrow or the day after and then look again. Never EVER trust your negative opinions about your art(or anything) if it's after like 8pm.
Re: the above points, as an exampke last night I HATED my new pngtuber model that I'd spent literally all day on. Went to bed and in the morning was like "oh this is good actually". Trust me, tired burnt out you is not a good judge of quality, especially the quality of something you've been staring at for like 4-5 hours.
If, after all that, you still hate it, that's okay too. It's a bummer, but don't try to force yourself to like something just cuz you spent a lot of time on it. Chalk it up to experience and move on to the next thing!
Do everything in your power to not compare yourself to others. It won't get you anywhere. Instead learn to look at other people's art and find what you like about it and try to break it down or do it that way yourself. Dont fully copy/trace ofc, but really think about how something looks and see if you can figure out why you like it and/or how it's done.
OH MY GOD USE REFERENCES. Anyone who says not to use references is talking out of their ass. You think figure drawing classes are bad?? That artists draw from life just for shits and giggles?? No, its because you need to know what shit looks like to draw it!!! USE REFERENCES!!!
Same with youtube tutorials, especially for learning to use digital art programs. Do take everything with a grain of salt ofc(we've all seen the "masculine vs feminine eyes" shit or the trash trend of "I fix my viewer's bad art uwu" ignore that crap) but you can learn all kinds of shit for free on youtube.
If you can feel yourself burning out fucking stop drawing a take a break. Even if you're in the middle of something, or part of you wants to keep drawing. Burn outs suck and it's gonna take a lot longer to get over it if you push yourself until you crash instead of just acknowledging that you're hitting your limit and stopping for a few days. The art will be there when you get back, your health should always come first!
If someone tells you thick line art or anime style or whatever is bad, ignore them. All art is subjective. Draw what you want how you want. Even if it's all thick line art or you stick to sketches or only do anime stuff or chibis or humans or furries or goddamn stick figures just draw literally whatever. If this is just a hobby for you there's no reason to push yourself. Draw what makes you happy, fuck everyone else.
Anyway that's all I've got for now, might add more tomorrow when I'm less tired(and I encourage additions for other artists as I'm self taught and had to learn most of this the hard way and thus I'm sure I've missed stuff) but yeah, just draw my dudes, this is supposed to be fun. You deserve to have fun.
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Mera, i honestly dont know you put up and manage so many people asking you for stuff-
like today, ive only ever gotten one request (that i realised was a full on commission once i accepted) which i then spent atleast 3 HOURS on. not even to get paid T-T
so i just gotta say on behalf of the Mera crew, thank you so much for putting up with us and our shit.
Thanks I appreciate inte that. 🙇💗
I hope they weren't rude, that you still had fun, and that you learned something from it on how you want to proceed going forward with people requesting things from you.
I dont think people who approach me are shit or anything, it can be a little rude or disrespectful at times, but I boil that down to a few people. It's not the majority. Most people are nice and behave like they would if this had been in person.
I like drawing things, and it helps me fill my day with something.
Sure, It can be a little hurtful when people take advantage of that by just throwing a request/ptompt at me like they're putting paper into a copy machine, without consideration or empathy for me and my time.
Some people come in with the energy of "since you have the time you should do things for me, you're nobody without my attention, and if you don't appease me I'll be upset and think you're a selfish bum." Which is, yknow, unpleasant to put it mildly.
Like, sure, I've put myself here. I post things online, and I like when people are interested in my work - who wouldn't be? I do think it's fun to take prompts. It gives me cause to be social and creative at the same time. But just because I'm willing and open for something doesn't mean it gives people an allowance to be entitled to demand things. They speak as though they have paid me enough with their approach alone.
Yes, I spend between 10min-5hours on pieces depending on if they're doodles, fully rendered pieces, or comics.
I think it is especially a bit entitled to go "I NEED PART TWO GIMME!!!!!!" Right after something like a comic, as though I didn't just finish something that took a while to make. It's not very empathetic.
But I don't take it to heart. People show who they are in their actions. I'm within my right to ignore, block, or politely decline. It doesn't serve me to sulk or get sad over people getting mad, calling me names, or get too pushy about what I should or shouldn't draw.
I understand its excitement, but please behave, yknow? You're not a toddler at the toy isle who hasn't developed a temperament resistance yet. Some people, I think, have an issue with instant gratification.
Have some respect in how you treat and speak with people online. The way you treat others reflects who you are.
If you wouldn't yell at someone irl to make you something, don't do it here either. I promise it doesn't reflect well on you, and I don't care that this is online and we are time zones apart; I will judge you. As will others.
You don't treat people like that.
And I won't let anyone treat me like that either. I've had enough of that in my life, and I'm tired of people calling me gullible and dumb for being polite and kind or giving people a benefit of doubt.
What I have is self-respect. It has taken me a lifetime to build it up, and I still wobble a little on whatever or not I can defend myself sometimes when people are mean. But nowadays, I can more confidently say, "You don't get to treat me like that. It hurts, and it is mean."
If you are the sort to take advantage of someone who is willing to do things for the fun of it, and who don't mind the effort it takes sometimes: then you are most unwelcome here and I host no guilt in removing you however I see fit.
But, like I said, the majority of people who approach me are friendly and level-headed, even when they're awkward or excited.
There is a difference between; "I need X so give me X!! Raarghargh Im going to die!!!" And "aaaa! I really enjoyed Z, if you have the time, I'd love to see more of Z!"
You know? <:T
Just food for thought I suppose.
I hope, though, that you keep doing right by yourself and don't let others discourage you.
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hi, i really hope you don't mind me asking this, but i love candor and i absolutely love seeing author behind-the-scenes stuff, so i was wondering if we could maybe hear more about how the original premise of candor changed to what it is today? it seems like it was originally very different. it'd also be so cool seeing how you outlined candor (if you did?), because seeing how other ppl do it is so so interesting, esp when you're a writer yourself
if you don't want to though, it's no trouble. i hope you have a wonderful day!
i finished typing the og idea up and it goddamn forever so the tl;dr is, it was the same simulation idea but with more contrived rules, ending with izuku outsmarting a bastard vestige afo. the long version is underneath the read more section. it should be a heading, its also underneath all the outline bullshit.. which, speaking of:
okay. so. how did i outline candor.
truthfully, i had a rough outline that i just. had in the original document and that i deleted + added to as i continued writing. which is partially why it spiralled out of control, because i just kept adding more stuff. my outline was very vibe based. at the top of my outline i had a rough direction of how i wanted to go through the holders, like so:
Sixth → Second → Sixth → Fifth → Seventh → Fourth → First → loop between death a few times → Third → Nine
and then i had important scene outlined underneath that describe how it jumped from one holder to another (for example, fourth and first had interconnected themes of isolation, so i could easily jump from fourth's loneliness to first's vault scenes). the beginning, the thread of which ofa users i was moving through, and the ending was the most outlined and concrete things i had planned. everything else was just. vibes. me vibing. me going insane. what motifs i wanted to express and what lessons i wanted the holders to teach izuku, basically.
obviously i changed a lot because my outline was very superfluous. much of what i outlined in the beginning changed, although the ending remained a constant goal in my mind, so i wasn't all that concerned.
here's a (snippet) of an active outline i still had 110 pages into the project:
OUTLINE BULLSHIT
Sixth → Second → Sixth → Fifth → Seventh → Fourth → First → loop between death a few times → Third → Nine��
“Boss said it himself”-- “his quirk doesn’t react well to people who pry where they don’t belong”
Izuku experiences all the holders’ deaths
SECONDS DEATH PLS PLS PLS
Cycling through all the quirks
Smile motif
Idealism
Bullet bounces, bounces, bounces
Sixth meets up with them, asks if he’s okay
They see the event where workplace discrimination is outlawed based on mutant quirks
Someone hugs Izuku and is so happy that they cry
Screaming and hollering for pure happiness
Cheering and singing
Katsuki as a kid (very cute, very small)
Monoma asking if the projection is necessary
All the suits in the wash
Underground heroes were their own thing, had their own hero gestures not even the Commission could crack. Not always legal, blurred the lines, played the bigger picture so they could get shit done
Commission hated them bc they knew everything. If they tried to not pass a bill protecting heroes, the undergrounders knew immediately. Had a underground hero family-sys, anyone too competitive/recluse/sellout would be excluded from information networks and could fail/die (created a culture of very loyal, buddy system, etc of heroes)
Ofa not helping as much bc theres a villain fight
Your quirk will blow off your own limbs if you tried to use it right now
When’s the first time you used it??
The entrance exam
“I predict in a few holders… it’ll kill them within just 3 or 4 years. Having the quirk, I mean”
Youve had your quirk for two weeks and all of your classmates have had them for 10 years
You need to catch up
Everyone is stronger than you right now
You have maybe two years before All For One comes for you
He doesn’t know you have OFA now but he will soon
He’s like a child using his quirk for the first time
Broke all the bones in your body… you wont ever have function of your hands the same way
“Performance is abysmal..”
Monoma: “Lucky, you have a strength quirk! I’m sure you’ve always been loved and supported! Could you imagine having a quirk society actually hates…?”
Shinsou: “You don’t know what it’s like to be hated for something you don’t have any control over”
Sixth saying “Hopefully in a next life I’ll get another strength quirk instead”
“We need stronger quirks. Quirks that can overpower All For One”
Scene where Izuku stumbles into a park, it’s calm, and a younger Katsuki is staring at him
“A hero?” Katsuki is barely 5 when he looks at Izuku. “Don’t make me laugh. You’re just a quirkless Deku.”
Garaki: “It’s because of the double joint, you see. It’s a common marker for those who are quirkless.”
Mom: “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”
“Quirkless statistics say that less likely to be hired, more likely to commit suicide, etc.”
“I don’t think it’s discriminatory, I think it just makes sense. I mean, if you have a choice between identical candidates and one’s quirkless and one whos made of slime that smells like shit, I’m going to choose the guy who makes the office a little more interesting! It’s not that deep!”
“We’ve become a eugenecist society where we want to hide or villainize quirks that aren’t ‘good’, and we want the quirkless to disappear entirely”
Slime Villain slowly chokes him out, makes him lose his consciousness slowly
Mom’s “I’m sorry, I’m sorry”
His advisor’s glazed eyes skim across the page. When he reaches the bottom, the man looks up at Izuku.
“You understand why this isn’t rational, Midoriya,” the man says. “Heroism is a very dangerous field. It’s impossible if you’re quirkless.”
“I—” Izuku stutters out.
His advisor pushes his glasses higher up his face and crumples the piece of paper in his hand. Izuku watches as his words and dreams get smashed and curled. The advisor throws it into the trash by his desk.
Izuku stares at the pink crumpled ball.
The man reaches across his desk to pull out a fresh slip of paper and a simple black pen. He slides both in front of where Izuku sits.
“We still have a few minutes,” the man says tiredly. “Write something more realistic down. Like, I don’t know… a librarian? You like reading, don’t you?”
“Be realistic”
“A hero? You can’t just be a hero because you like them. Just because you know every fact about them, isn’t going to make you suddenly strong enough”
“Strong? Deku? Don’t make me laugh”
Izuku applying to UA scene, classroom laughing/Katsuki bullying scene
“Hey, I’ve got a good idea… why don’t you just take a swan dive off a roof”
“Can you become a hero…? No, I don’t think so” - All Might
Youll just get murdered by the time you master your quirk
Everyone’s ahead
“This is your starting line!”
Jeez, he’s like a toddler with his quirk
You have to catch up
“Poor little useless Deku, crying again like a baby”
Youll die in two years
You’re not ready
Screaming
He has all that power and none of the skill. He doesn’t even have his own quirk. He’s wasting every opportunity he has
He’s the Ninth one and he’s the least prepared out of all of us
He’s the last one and when he screws up, this entire legacy is gone! All our efforts go to waste!
“You’re lucky. You’ve never had to understand what it’s like to have a quirk that turns everyone against you”
You’ll never be enough
The heat on his shoulders grows to be unbearable
The voices stop as Izuku stands behind his desk, which has his hero name carved into the wood
Trying to remember who Deku is to him
“You’re Nine,” the man says. “You’re safe. You’re grounded. These are not your memories. We can leave at any time.”
Izuku just stares frozen at it for several minutes
When he sits beneath the desk, he has to stop himself from crying
He reminds himself what his other classmates have been through like Iida losing his brother to remember that its just words
He finally croaks out:
“I’m trying. I’m trying. Isn’t that enough?”
Rubs his face, stands up, hollowly goes back through memories
Goes thru all the memories back and forth, sticks thru All Might telling him he can be a hero to gain some courage
Gets back to the scene where All Might said he couldnt when it finally clicks
“Oh, duh”
“Oh, duh”
“Oh,” Izuku says. “Duh.”
Take a swan dive off a roof.
The reason why he started as Sixth’s memory. If he got it from the start he could’ve avoided it all
When he realizes it, the other holders all arrive and try to stall. Izuku reveals that he knows what he has to do, but he says that they’re not going to like it
Gives them all whiteboards
Wakes up in a safehouse with a kettle and sticky note explaining what’s going on
As you can see, there's a lot going on here. A lot changed, a lot was scrapped. You have some developed scenes and some one-off. The important part was getting a string that connected these in a way that felt natural, eventually culminating into Izuku's breaking point.
this is a very, very small chunk of what the outline was altogether at all stages of the project. but its a good representation of what i put together for each user. this is a very izuku-heavy section. the odds and ends were parts i wanted to go back and add at a later time when i thought of them. manyyyy of the scenes i wrote for earlier chapters were written when i was much further into the fic. i just kept thinking of new things to add.
OG CANDOR IDEA
okay. so basically the og idea was the same: mental simulation, involved the school, blah blah, except Izuku actually remembered he was in a simulation. In the og idea, it was All For One that took control of the simulation and dragged Izuku into the mental vault, basically trapping him away from where the other holders could reach him. The simulation worked the same as in the final version, so that Izuku had to 'complete' a certain objective. AFO took advantage of this by defining the objectives himself, and Izuku accepted those objectives as truth, forcing the simulation to basically.. warp around that contract?
The objectives were this: there were nine cups izuku could drink from, the eighth one was full of medicine, and drinking from the ninth cup would let him escape the simulation at any time. while he drank from each of the other eight cups, the ninth cup would fill proportionally (it was a much taller glass than the other ones), and if it overflowed, the whole simulation would restart. finally, one vestige had to die.
Izuku couldn't see the 'shadowed figure' who was explaining the simulation's rules to him, so izuku didn't know it was All For One. (The fic started with him waking up, sitting a table with nine cups and a shadowed figure across from him.) The first seven cups held the memories of the seven dead OFA holders. as izuku drank from the cups, he would see their memories. however, the 'liquid' in each of the cups was basically a mental poison. so izuku was poisoning himself more and more in different ways, but he couldn't stop drinking from the cups unless he wanted one of the vestiges to die.
in between drinks, izuku basically unraveled the mystery of his 'guest' (which he eventually figured out was afo), and the people he was saving (the ofa vestiges), and where he was located (the mental vault in ofa). it would constantly reference izuku's (the ninth) cup, which was filling up higher and higher, and it also eventually referenced how the ofa holders in the simulation were trying to break open the vault door.
eventually, izuku clears the first seven cups, and he's about to try and stave off the 'poison' that's killing him w/ toshinori's (medicine/eighth) cup. However, at this point AFO relishes in pointing out the 'final decision' he's forced to make:
if izuku drinks from the eighth cup to cure the poison, he'll cause the ninth cup to overflow at this point, restarting the whole simulation.
if izuku drinks the ninth cup, the condition 'a vestige must die' wouldn't be fulfilled, so the simulation would reset.
if izuku did nothing, the poison would kill him
So basically, izuku was going to be stuck in a constant loop of resetting until he gave up and let himself die
but! alas! izuku outsmarts afo because it never said how or which vestige had to die. so izuku goes off the fucking rails bc at this point, the ninth cup has all seven different poisons from the first seven cups, so he throws it on afo and bam! fight scene! and then he kills afo's vestige within ofa, escapes the vault just as the other ofa holders burst into the vault, and then he wakes up in a cold sweat in the gym at UA to all of his classmates being like "what the fuk!"
anyway. aha. there you go. if you were wondering why it took so damn long to answer this... this is why. hope this sated ur curiosity!
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damn.
how’s everyone doing?
okay. these few days have been… interesting to say in the least.
first off, the house: the backstory, in case you don’t know, is that the property taxes here had defaulted about five years ago. to make a long convoluted complicated 95% of it i can’t talk about due to legality story short, they defaulted… and turns out, it wasn’t even our fault. someone dropped the ball somewhere, it totally wasn’t even our doing or our responsibility for that matter. but my mom and i looked at each other, we looked at what was due, and my mom bit the bullet and pretty much used all of her savings to cover it—by the skin of our teeth, too, like the company got the check today. she’s only got about 200 dollars left in her savings account after that, but luckily for us, it’s only a once-a-year thing (meaning we don’t have to think about this again for a full year), and we’ve been through difficult times before (read: we know how to pinch pennies in our sleep) and it’s only for about a month, which is when her job starts with a new assignment.
second, my mental health. it tanked the other day, and there were a couple of things that triggered it: number one was the fact that i kept getting asked about money over on instagram. people asking me about commissions and “dealing” and what have you—i think most of them were ai generated, but who the fuck knows. it’s a deep wound that only those who grew up poor will understand—compounded with the fact that i have a very dysfunctional, very unsupportive, borderline abusive family; on its own, it’s enough to push my buttons. plus—say what you want. every artist goes through this. i’m following a bunch of artists on instagram, good artists, too, some of these people are excellent… but i couldn’t help but compare myself to them. it’s also kind of… clique-y, i’d say? kind of like how tumblr is now, but it’s actually worse because you have art involved, something that should unite all of us. tumblr… as obnoxious as this place is now, i do see where it’s coming from. but within the art community? that just doesn’t seem right to me.
when you take an art class, you’re going in there to rest your soul. tap into yourself and learn some techniques while you’re at it. nobody is picasso out the gate, so you hone your own skill and your own style all the while, so it’s like a leveling of the playing field (and no, showing the biggest piece of shit to the teacher doesn’t count).
but this is uncomfortable. and it’s exhausting, too, like how the hell can you people be posting to your story several times every hour? i post three to mine in one sitting and i feel like i’m overloading everyone.
and, i was getting comments from people who were following me years ago asking me, “you’re still drawing?” like they were shocked that i’m still doing this. i saw that as a bad sign, like… you know when you, a fan of something or someone, doesn’t seem to realize that the thing you’re fan of is still going, that’s usually a sign of things gone wrong. and i had accidentally rehashed some old wounds that are kinda “same ol’” status at this point: my sexuality, my appearance, my body, my not feeling good enough.
so… i woke up one morning, looked at my art, and just started crying. all of that pushed me over the edge and it genuinely made me want to quit. i thought for sure i was finished.
i had to get away. i have to be alone for a while.
(so, if i seem a.w.o.l. over on instagram, you know what happened: i just deleted the app from my tablet, i didn’t delete my account)
third, i looked at my art and i wondered if i just needed a makeover for it. i have a new little project going right now made by some of the techniques i’ve seen on instagram. i won’t reveal it until it’s done, though. it’s kind of abstract, kind of odd, kind of… well, you’ll see it.
as for the “deleted all my art files from my computer” tidbit, it didn’t delete the backup files, so i clicked on those and salvaged every single one, every single one. i’ll admit, it was weirdly freeing to have all that free space on my thumb drive.
and as for neptune’s spear… i was thinking of posting it today or tuesday, but… eh. i think she can wait a while.
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Just to satisfy something that feels like I'm not just existing on a panic attack continum but actually doing things on some level - Finished a zine piece today, received general specs for another, got an almost thumbnail worked out for big bang
Have to to a commission thumbnail tomorrow, respond to two inquiry emails about commissions, maybe do a quick button commission, and ideally make big bang thumbnail less thumbnail
I just wanted to do nice fan community things and also get some money I didn't feel bad about.
International buttons go out this week along with the yeti book which finally got the right shipping envelopes delivered! Domestic buttons also going out Per Usual, but the international folks usually have to wait for a bit because it is an endurance getting through them at the post office.
So there's updates about as many things as I can think of to make updates about. If you are a person waiting on any one of those things there they all are they should be happening very sooner if not slightly later this week.
I also am not enjoying this but the spine leg Continuum is really trying to just fold me in half or something and it doesn't work well for doing anything really! Just crunching up like a shrimp.
Anyway thanks for your patience if you are any of the people waiting for something from me, but feel free to check in and ask what's going on - I will totally understand the urge to ask, though the answer is just "I am overwhelmed with more tasks of all kinds than I can humanly do with the abilities I have at my disposal at present, so everything is getting pushed way back" for pretty much everything.
Take care of yourselves out there, shit is bananas
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Chapter 3: Packing and Penting
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"Got my suitcase. Got Bim's papers. Got my phone-- Where's my phone?!"
"It's in your hand, Dark." The demon face-palmed, sighing harshly, "Don't stress yourself out, babe. Today is your last day before your vacation!" Anti smiled, one hand holding Darks as the other one cupped his scruffy jaw, "Now, I want you back no later than three this time. Our flight is tomorrow and we need to finish packing and if you stay there for a minute longer your curfew, I will drag you back here." Dark gulped, cowering a bit as Anti's eyes flashed a dangerous color, "Understood?"
"Y-Yes, darling." Dark answered, stuttering.
"Good." Anti pulled away, smiling. Before Dark was ready to go, he jumped when he felt Anti kissed his cheek. Dark smiled and gave Anti a quick kiss on the cheek before he teleported to the meeting room, where the Ipliers were filing in the room.
"Morning, everyone." Dark greeted, giving Bim the signed papers and revealed the white board with various of ideas in a web-like brainstorm. "Today, we are here to finalize our plan. What are we going with? And I suggest we make this quick and brief. I'd like to be home in a more timely manner."
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.
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From that point on, everything went down for the worst. Google and Bing had a malfunction. Bim was being a smart-ass. The Jims were being... Well the Jims and Wilford brought his gun for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
"But how does that correlate with the plan, Wilford?"
"WARFSTACHE TAKES SHIT FROM NOBODY!!"
"What are we talking about?"
"My son is still one hundred percent off if anyone's wondering!"
"Where's my peanut butter?!"
"ENOUGH!!!" Dark boomed, slamming his fist on the table, "You all are such children! We cannot have a simple discussion without THAT one getting gun happy, THAT one being a brat, and THAT one being oblivious of our goal!!!" His aura was flaring violently as he panted, the Egos freezing in their place as fear struck them all, "I am sick and tired of you all ignoring my authority!" Dark breathed, trying to calm himself. He definitely needed that vacation.
"That's why I'm taking a break. Anti and I are going on a vacation." Dark blatantly spoke, "If you wish to continue this 'discussion', you'll have to speak with... Bim."
"Uh- Excuse me?" Bim squeaked.
"Google is out of commission. Wilford is unstable and Edward has enough stress on his hands," A smirk crept onto the demon's face, "Besides this should give you practice, you know? For your own meetings with your producers and companies." He seethed before straightening up, fixing his tie and cracking his neck.
"Meeting is adjourned."
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"You finally stuck with your word, huh?"
"Yes, Poison berry." Anti squeaked happily, hugging his husband tightly.
"I finally have you to myself..." The glitch smiled before pulling at Dark's arm, leading him to the room so he can finish packing.
"Okay, so we are going to a penthouse in Florida. I was gonna go for ones in Atlanta, but Marvin told me about the ones in a Florida being in much more gracious design." Anti smiled and leaned against his lover, "We can go to the beach, explore new territories, have quality time.."
Dark couldn't help but grin at the thought, holding Anti's dainty hands into his much larger one as he zipped the luggage up.
"We can finally have time together."
They both smiled, placing a kiss on their lips for the first time in what seemed to be an eternity to the two. They stayed lip-locked while Dark held Anti close to him, gripping his hips while Anti gripped his hair gently. Oh, how Dark missed this. Finally able to hold Anti without a care or a worry in the world. His soft lips against his own as they disconnect and reconnect.
They pulled away breathlessly, panting as their faces were flushed red. They were lost in a daze before Dark shook his head, chuckling and kissed the smaller's forehead before he got up from the bed.
"I'll go and fix us dinner."
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Taglist!: @connected110
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Kamen Rider Deku Mission 14: Coming to Terms
Previous Chapter / AO3 / Master List
Katsuki and Slidin' Go are sitting in a cafe. It's been a day since the events against Plant Nomu, and the two are watching a broadcast on Slidin' Go's phone.
"Yesterday's unexpected city-wide villain attack has now been fully cleared up. It would seem the ones leading the charge against this attack were the Kamen Riders." The newscaster says as they pull up a video of K.E.M. destroying an army of plant creatures.
"It seems the most violent of them, King Explosion Murder, was the most instrumental in the defeat of this Nomu threat. He went around the city, finishing off tons of plant creatures before finishing off the Nomu herself." The newscaster explains, causing Slidin' Go to grin.
"This is great news for you. The bad publicity from your first stunt is finally starting to vanish." Slidin' Go tells his student, but Katsuki doesn't look like he cares about this information.
All the teen has done since they arrived at the cafe is glare at his drink. When Slidin' Go sees this, he lets out a heavy sigh.
"The person behind this Nomu attack is Kimura Kaho. An office worker from Jaku City in the Kyoto Prefecture. She's also a member of several support groups and charities for Mutation-Quirk users. Her link to these Nomu is currently unknown. To try and answer this, we have brought a professional hero analysis." The newscaster explains before a green-skinned man with purple hair walks in.
Slidin' Go raises an eyebrow in interest, feeling he recognizes the man put on from the Meta Liberation Army but is unsure.
"Tell us, you've done quite a bit of analysis on different hero cases and villain attacks. What do you think is the connection between Kimura and the Nomu?" The newscaster asks curiously.
"Unfortunately, I, like the rest of Japan, am uncertain. It may be whoever is creating these Nomu approached her with an offer. It would explain multiple other Nomu, such as that young man from a couple of months back who tried to kill his father." The analyst shrugs with a sigh.
"So, you're saying these Nomu are possibly appearing from something as simple as a back alley deal?" The newscaster asks with a raised eyebrow.
"There's nothing simple about this situation. A lot of secrecy can go into these types of transactions. It's why so many have found it difficult to find any lead on the Nomu. Of course, this is just speculation and is likely not the case. Whoever is behind this operation is keeping their cards close to them, if you understand what I mean." The analyst states.
"I see. Well, thank you for your words today." The newscaster thanks the analyst.
"Thank you for having me." The analyst thanks before Slidin' Go turns off his phone and looks to an annoyed Katsuki.
"Well, it's great to hear your image is improving. That's an important part of being a hero." Slidin' Go tells him with his trademark smile.
Katsuki continues not to say anything. It's becoming unsettling for Slidin' Go, who's gotten used to his student's explosive personality.
"What's wrong with you? You're usually a lot more reactive. Is it about what happened with Chamber yesterday?" Slidin' Go asks with a raised eyebrow.
That gets a frustrated growl from Katsuki, and he glares at Slidin' Go, who raises his hands defensively while smiling.
"There's my student. But you should be careful if you want to go after him. He may be the Hero Public Safety Commission's chairman's grandson. From what I heard, at least. Trust me, the chairman is not someone you want to be on the bad side of." Slidin' Go warns Katsuki.
When Katsuki hears that, he seems to snarl more.
"Who gives a shit if Pompadour is some old bastard's grandson! That bastard has been looking down on me! I'm going to kill him and then Deku!" Katsuki states his plan to take down Chamber.
Now, most people would be uncomfortable about the idea of a teen with his personality saying he'll kill someone since his personality can make someone feel like he means it. However, Slidin' Go understands he doesn't actually mean to kill Shiki. Violently maim, maybe, but not kill. He's not exactly sure if that's better.
"Well, you better hope he'll give you the opportunity then. Chamber seems to be the more careful one between the two Kamen Riders. He may not give you a chance to attack him." Slidin' Go warns him.
"That's what your damn lessons at the start were for. I'm getting payback on that bastard for what he did?" Katsuki growls.
"Did something else happen besides yesterday?" Slidin' Go asks curiously, having gained some ability to gauge Katsuki's anger levels and noticing this is worse than what it may be if it were only what happened yesterday.
A louder snarl is his answer, signaling that something else did happen.
"Must have happened when he went to the docks." Slidin' Go thinks as he watches Katsuki's anger.
While Slidin' Go thinks this, Katsuki's mind flashes back to yesterday's events and their confrontation at the docks. Chamber is the first person his age who started giving Katsuki a challenge. Even growing up, he was always capable of taking down the older kids, and they were the only ones who gave him some challenge. The fact he's Quirkless like Deku doesn't help Katsuki's temper.
"That bastard. He and Deku are both in my damn way. I won't let him stop me from becoming number one. I'll put that Quirkless bastard back in his place before doing the same to Deku." Katsuki promises himself as he seethes.
With that promise, Katsuki takes his coffee and tries to down it in one go before spitting it back in his cup in disgust.
"Who the fuck gave me the damn black coffee! I ordered the damn spicy one!" Katsuki shouts as he slams his hand on the table and glares at the employees behind the desk.
-------------------
Shiki is sitting in his room, inspecting his new Power Coins with the ones he's already collected. Off to the side are the Chameleon and Rifle Power Coins.
"If how the Nomu used them is anything to go by, I might be able to spawn minions with this." Shiki thinks as he inspects the Power Coin with a Venus flytrap outline.
He then picks up the Power Coin with the outline of a drill running through the ground.
"This one will probably turn my bullets into drills and enhance their piercing ability. That'll be useful against Nomu with stronger defenses like that one Midoriya and I fought." Shiki thinks as his mind flashes back to the battle with Giran.
When he does, he frowns in anger. He then raises an eyebrow in thought.
"Wait, we didn't see them today." He realizes.
-------------------
"Did you manage to get the Time Amplifier?" Dr. Garaki asks Giran over the phone.
"Yeah. I stole it in the smokescreen caused by the violent friend of our friends." Giran tells him over the phone with a grin while holding the inhaler-like device.
"Good. We can afford to lose the Nomu Coins since I made it so they look like ordinary ones after use. But we can't afford to lose any of those. Remember, if you can't manage to both take out the defeated Nomu and grab the Time Amplifier, then prioritize the device." Dr. Garaki states.
"Yeah, I know. Don't worry, Doc. I'll make sure we don't lose any of these. So, should I just return it to the Meta Liberation Army? Or do we keep it?" Giran asks.
"For now, return it to them. We'll keep it seeming like we're working with them until we no longer need them." Dr. Garaki tells him, and Giran nods.
"Alright. Mind having Kurogiri or your little pet send me a portal to Deika City?" Giran asks.
"You can head there on your own." Dr. Garaki states with a hint of annoyance.
"Is this because I called one of your creations a pet? I'm sorry. Can you have one of your children send me to Deika City?" Giran requests again in a more polite tone.
"No. You can get there on your own. You're used to moving around a lot and meeting with people face-to-face anyway." Dr. Garaki tells him before hanging up and leaving Giran on his own.
"He's always so touchy about how someone talks about his Nomu." Giran grunts in annoyance before sighing and preparing to leave for Deika City.
"Then again, he's also testy that those kids managed to see me, and I couldn't erase their memories. That's bad news, too. It's the first hint anyone's gotten about who we may be. Luckily, they didn't see me out of my Nomu form. Still, I'll have to do something about them at some point and whoever they might have told. That's a tall order, though. Who knows how many high-ranking Commission or Uncountable Enterprises members know about this?" Giran mutters as he thinks about everything.
-------------------
"You know, when we developed the Hero Driver. I was expecting a lot. But I never expected so much chaos so soon. We haven't even had a villain steal one, but everything is already going to hell." Hisashi says as he replays yesterday's small fight between K.E.M. and Chamber, with David, Melissa, and his son beside him.
"Sorry." Izuku quietly apologizes to his father.
"It's not your fault. We can blame Abraham for this more than anyone since he's the one who sold a stolen Hero Driver to one of the less-than-stellar members of the Commission." Hisashi tells his son with a sigh.
That causes David and Melissa to winch.
"I'm sorry for bringing Samuel in on this project, Hisashi. He was always a good man and a great assistant. I couldn't have developed our Quirk enhancement technology without him." David apologizes, while Melissa also looks sad.
Hisashi is quick to wave off David's apology as well.
"Will you relax? Like you said, you wouldn't have gotten as far with the research without him. So, it's not like nothing good came out of bringing him here. Besides, I've had a few science partners I'd trust without a second thought. So, it's not like I don't understand where you're coming from. Abraham seemed like a good guy while we were working together. It's just as much my fault for not noticing as yours." Hisashi tells David to calm the man down.
There's an awkward silence between the four after Hisashi says those words before Melissa asks.
"Have they found Mr. Abraham yet?" Melissa asks her father.
David lets out a sigh, and Hisashi shakes his head.
"Nope. Wherever the guy is, he's hidden well. That or we don't have good enough trackers after him. I may have to put in a request to have some underground heroes investigate where he went." Hisashi says with a sigh.
"I see," Melissa says as she looks down in worry.
"Anyway, you may not have to worry as much about that Bakugou brat as you thought, Izuku. It seems he and Hikage's grandson are at each other's throats." Hisashi says in a relaxed tone as he crashes into one of the spinny chairs.
"Isn't that a bad thing? We're supposed to be working together to defeat the Nomu." Izuku tells his father, and Melissa nods in agreement.
"Yeah, Mr. Midoriya. Isn't it important for the safety of Japan for the Kamen Riders to get along?" She asks him.
"It is, which is why I'm surprised at how much trouble that simple task is to complete. Since Bakugou got his Hero Driver, everything seems like it's been going to hell. And, unfortunately, I can't just have the Hero Driver returned to us. Trust me, I've checked several times." Hisashi bluntly states as he idly begins channel surfing while he talks to the group.
"So... what should we do?" Izuku nervously asks his father and David, hoping one of them will answer.
David rubs the back of his head and says.
"I'm not sure. As things are now, I'm not sure how we can improve things without taking Bakugou's Driver from him and giving it to someone else." David tells him.
"That, or have someone shatter the kid's pride into the ground so he'll stop acting like he's the protagonist in a damn story and rules don't apply to him." Hisashi bluntly adds with an annoyed expression.
"Hisashi..." David says with a slight winch at Hisashi's statement.
"I'm telling you it would be for the best. I don't like the kid for what he's done to mine, but I will admit he has talent and could reach the top ten if he put the work in. But he has to do something about his damn attitude before anything else. The guy nearly got people killed when he deflected Hikage's shot so he could fight alone. That's not hero behavior." Hisashi tells his colleague with a slight glare as he points out Bakugou's behavior.
David doesn't have a rebuttal for that, and Hisashi goes on.
"Though, it's not like I don't have personal reasons for this. The brat has been bullying my kid for years. Of course, I don't like him using something I made or Izuku needing to work with him. He's already shown how willing he is to attack Izuku despite them having to work together. Plus, Izuku is nervous being around him, right?" Hisashi turns to his son as he asks this, causing him to jump in surprise at being addressed.
When he fully registers the question, Izuku can't help but look toward the ground while rubbing his arm nervously.
"...I don't know." Izuku finally says while rubbing his arm, causing Hisashi's eyes to widen.
"I-I mean, Kacchan is strong and gifted. He'd be a big help against the Nomu, and we don't know how long it'll take us to figure out who is creating them. If we had his strength, it'd be easier to handle them longer. Y-you know?" Izuku asks nervously as he stares at his father.
Hisashi blinks at his son a few times before letting out a heavy sigh and facepalming. He then runs his hand down his face before looking at his son again.
"Izuku. We talked about your relationship with Katsuki." Hisashi starts as he looks toward his son.
"I-I know. B-but I can't help but think that him having the Hero Driver may be a good thing. I-I don't plan to follow him around again. And I know we weren't really friends back then. B-but, I can't help but think this might be a good thing that Kacchan got the Driver. Maybe he'll change when he experiences what being a hero is like. Like I have." Izuku tells Hisashi while whispering this last part as he remembers his recent observations about hero work.
Not catching this last part, Hisashi sighs heavily and looks toward his son.
"Izuku. You have too much of a hero's heart. You are way too kind and hopeful sometimes." Hisashi tells his son as he looks at him.
Izuku winches slightly when he hears that.
"I think it's nice that he's so hopeful Bakugou will change," Melissa says as she quickly walks toward Izuku and moves her head to examine him from top to bottom.
This sudden invasion of his privacy by a pretty girl causes Izuku's entire head and neck to blush while steam starts to come from his head. Seeing this causes the two men to smirk before David coughs into his fist.
"Melissa, I think you're making the poor boy uncomfortable," David tells his daughter, causing her to blink before giving Izuku an apologetic smile.
"Sorry about that. Sometimes, the scientist and inventor in me take over, and I can't help but be curious. " Melissa says sheepishly.
"I-i-it's n-no p-problem." Izuku can barely get a sentence out as he tries to calm his blush and rapidly beating heart.
"Anyway, that's not a bad thing. But it can get you in serious trouble at some point. Just be careful with it, okay." Hisashi tells his son with an amused smirk.
"Al-alright, Dad," Izuku says after a minute.
Hisashi lets out an amused chuckle as he watches his son's state before deciding to take pity on him and get back on their first topic.
"Anyway, I am worried about Abraham being out; who knows what else that guy knows? If he knows how to make them off the top of his head, there's no telling what he might be able to do. He could have made another one already and given it to someone else." Hisashi mutters in frustration as he thinks about that.
Before anyone can say anything to that, a new voice interjects.
"Highly unlikely." A mature and commanding female voice says.
The group turns to see Mrs. Yaoyorozu walk into the lab with her daughter behind her.
"Hey, boss. You forgot to ring the doorbell." Hisashi says with a slight smirk as he points toward the door.
Mrs. Yaoyorozu rolls her eyes while holding a phone up.
"Don't forget that I have access to all the cameras in the lab. I know when you people are working and when you're not." She tells him.
Izuku and Melissa look slightly lost at who that is while Momo walks up to them with a smile and bows.
"It's nice to meet you. My name is Yaoyorozu Momo, and the person talking to your parents is my mother. She's the CEO of Uncountable Enterprises." Momo explains to the two, causing their eyes to widen as they stare at the older Yaoyorozu.
Mrs. Yayorozu turns to the two teens and gives them a small smile before turning back to the two scientists.
"As I was saying, there's likely no need to worry about that. The parts needed to complete one of those Drivers are expensive and hard to get. You'd need someone with priority for parts to gather most of it. Such as myself." Mrs. Yaoyorozu says as she holds up a list containing some of the parts needed for a Hero Driver.
"It should be impossible for someone on the run like Mr. Abraham to gather the parts unless he has backing from someone else or has stolen resources from the company without my team or I noticing." Mrs. Yaoyorozu states.
"While that may be true. We haven't found Abraham yet. So, that means he may actually have someone helping him." Hisashi reminds her.
"True. So, I'm giving you a new candidate for your next Hero Driver to help the situation." Mrs. Yaoyorozu says as she walks over to her daughter and puts her hands on Momo's shoulders, shocking the girl and the others in the room.
"Here's your third candidate, with that Sero boy and Little Shield. My daughter." Mrs. Yaoyorozu announces.
Momo turns to her mother and says.
"Mother. You never told me you planned to make me a candidate for the program when you told me about it."
"I thought that might be obvious, dear. Besides, you're talented enough to have gotten a recommendation for U.A. You're a perfect candidate." She tells her daughter with a proud smile.
Hearing that causes Momo to blush while Melissa and Izuku look at her in amazement. David is also astonished since U.A. is known as the best hero school in Japan and isn't easy to get into. Hisashi gives Momo an impressed nod.
"Huh. Well, that is impressive. Alright, I'll add her to the list of candidates. Is that all you came here for?" Hisashi asks her with a raised eyebrow.
"Of course not. I also wanted to inform you that your next shipment of parts has been delayed. Apparently, something came up, and it's caused the shipment to be placed on hold for a little while." Mrs. Yaoyorozu informs him professionally while handing him some documents on the subject.
"Great, just what we need. Luckily, we still have enough to make a couple of Drivers and some other experiments with the technology." Hisashi says with a heavy sigh.
"That wouldn't be a problem if we get permission for me to use my Quirk to give you the materials whenever you need them. Given that this project is sponsored by the people who help regulate Quirk usage. I'm sure we can get a special permit." Mrs. Yaoyorozu tells him with a smile.
"And in return, you'd want your daughter to get a Driver above anyone else. We'll talk about that when we run out of materials." Hisashi says with a sigh as he flips through the documents.
"You know me so well when it comes to business. Let me know if you want to go through with the deal, and I'll see what I can do about the parts coming in faster." Mrs. Yaoyorozu says while turning around to leave.
Before she does, though. She turns to her daughter, next to Izuku and Melissa, and smiles at her.
"You can stay to get to know the program more. Enjoy yourself." She tells Momo before leaving after getting a nod from her daughter.
Once she leaves, Hisashi turns toward Momo with a raised eyebrow.
"So, kid. How do you feel about becoming a Kamen Rider?" Hisashi asks Momo.
"It would be an honor to become a Kamen Rider and help against the Nomus. I dream of becoming a great hero and have studied and trained extensively." Momo quickly explains with a determined and proud expression while putting a hand on her chest.
"Well, that's good. I'm glad to hear that. And you also got a recommendation to U.A. That's impressive given your age." Hisashi says as he smiles at the girl.
"Thank you, sir. I couldn't believe it when Mother told me about it. I'm glad to know all my hard work was recognized." Momo quickly tells him.
"Let me guess your Quirk. The same as your mother? You can create anything if you know its structure and have the lipids to make it?" Hisashi inquires.
"Correct." She nods to Izuku's amazement as his eyes shine.
"That's amazing. That's the most versatile Quirk I've ever heard of! You could make any number of capture tools and counters toward other Quirks as long as you have the proper amount of lipids." Izuku says excitedly as he looks at Momo, causing her to blush in embarrassment.
"Thank you. Our Quirk is something my family is proud of." Momo tells him as she gives him a cheerful smile.
"It's clear why. You're Quirk is so amazing, Yaoyorozu." Izuku tells her with an equally bright smile.
"I agree. It would be a massive help to either the hero or support course. You could make a nearly infinite amount of equipment or parts for either course," Melissa tells her.
"Yes, yes, it would be a big help. It's one of the reasons why so many people are after a contract with Uncountable Enterprises." Hisashi tells them, causing David to elbow him in the side while whispering.
"Be nice. She's just excited to talk about her Quirk, and the kids are excited to learn about it."
Hisashi sighs as the trio continues to talk for a little longer. But he can't help but smile as he watches Izuku make friends. Since becoming a Kamen Rider, he's gained more friends his age. It makes the father in him swell with happiness.
After a few seconds, Hisashi thinks of something, and his eyes narrow.
"Actually, Yaoyorozu, I need you to do something for me. Don't worry. It doesn't have anything to do with abusing your Quirk, but it does involve using it for the Kamen Riders." Hisashi tells her, causing Momo to look at him in confusion, along with Izuku and Melissa.
Reaching into his pocket and pulling out a blank Power Coin, Hisashi throws it to her. Momo instinctively reaches out to catch it, and when it makes contact with her, the blank Power Coin changes color as it absorbs her Quirk. After the transformation, it looks like the Kamen Riders' Power Coins with three gear symbols on the front.
With that done, Hisashi walks over to Momo and takes the Power Coin back before taking it to a scanner specifically made to analyze Power Coins and possible functions. As he does, he thanks Momo.
"Thanks. I only want to check how this type of Quirk will work with the system. Wouldn't do us any good if we didn't know how well this Quirk would mix with the system." He tells her while putting the Power Coin in the scanner.
The scanner does its job for a few minutes before the computer screen next to it shows the data on the Creation Power Coin. Hisashi looks at it before letting out an impressed whistle.
"This really will be useful. Hey, Yaoyorozu, do you think my son can use this Power Coin in the field?" Hisashi asks the girl.
"Of course. If it will help." She nods.
"Thanks. Catch, son." Hisashi says before throwing the Power Coin toward Izuku. Izuku tries to catch it, but it slips through his hands and hits his chest. He blushes at his inability to grab it before picking the Power Coin up and giving Momo an embarrassed smile.
"Thanks, Yaoyorozu." He says while pocketing the Power Coin.
"It's no problem. Midoriya. I hope my Quirk will help you against your future opponents." Momo tells him with a nod.
"I can guarantee it will. That Quirk with our tech can bypass your weakness and do some pretty useful things. Take a look." Hisashi says as he moves the screen into the view of the teens.
The three walk toward the screen curiously, and their eyes widen in astonishment at what the data says.
"This is amazing," Melissa says in surprise.
"To think my Quirk would have such an effect," Momo says as her eyes shine excitedly.
"Amazing. With this kind of ability, it opens so many windows." Izuku doesn't know what to say as he looks at the data.
"Exactly why I want you to have it. It should be a good secret weapon for when you see whatever you saw before. Try not to use it until you see whoever attacked you at the docks. It's always good to have an ace up your sleeve and not reveal it if you don't have to." Hisashi advises, causing Izuku to nod.
"Right. I'll try not to use it." Izuku says before he gets a text. He pulls out his phone to see it's a Nomu alert and panics.
"I've got to go! It's a Nomu alert!" Izuku shouts before running out.
"Be safe!" Hisashi shouts after his son ironically.
"Is he going to be okay?" Momo asks the other occupants of the room worriedly.
"He's dealt with Nomu before. Besides, he'll have backup." Hisashi tells her to ease the girl's worries.
When he sees Melissa is also worried, Hisashi changes the subject.
"On the subject of backup. The fourth Driver is almost done. When that happens, we can test you two and Sero to see which of you might be the best choice for the current situation. Of course, we don't have to. Are you two interested?" Hisashi asks them, surprising David and the girls for different reasons.
"Of course. I'd be honored to take part in an exam for the Hero Driver and help your son and the others." Momo quickly nods in agreement, while Melissa is a little uncertain.
"S-sure." Melissa nods after a few seconds.
"Girls, can you give Hisashi and me a minute to talk about something?" David quickly requests the girls.
They quickly leave, and David gives Hisashi a suspicious and angry glare.
"What are you up to, offering my daughter this without asking me?" David asks Hisashi.
Hisashi isn't intimidated by his friend's gaze.
"You told me how much Melissa wishes to be a hero and how you want to support her. I figured you'd want this offered to her, too." Hisashi shrugs.
That causes David to pause and rub his head while looking at Hisashi worriedly as he thinks.
"I don't know. I want to support Melissa's dream to become a hero despite being Quirkless like you do with Izuku. But I can't help being happy that my daughter is relatively safe acting as a hero by making equipment for them." David tells him honestly as he sighs.
"I know the feeling. I often wished Izuku would follow in my footsteps and be someone who helps heroes over being one himself. But I realized that wasn't what he wanted, and he'd always take the chance to be a hero over helping them." Hisashi tells his friend, who sighs.
"You're right. I know Melissa is the same. She's uncertain now about it because she is getting used to the idea that this is the only way she can be a hero. But I know she'll take the opportunity in time. She takes after Toshinori that way." David acknowledges with a bitter smile.
"How are you feeling about that, by the way? I remember your first reaction when we learned about All Might possibly retiring in a few years." Hisashi asks David.
That causes David to sit down and put a hand to his head.
"It's hard. I've been with him for so long and know his strength better than anyone. I can't believe that he may be retiring or getting weaker. He's the pinnacle of strength and heroism, after all." David says with an expression of slight despair.
"All Might is human too. People forget that because of his god-like strength. But he is. It was only a matter of when he would instead of if he ever would." Hisashi shrugs as David lets out another heavy sigh.
Seeing his friend's reaction, Hisashi takes pity on him and tries to cheer him up.
"Look on the bright side. He was willing to tell you that he may be retiring at some point. Now, we can work on something to ensure the world and Japan don't go to hell because of it." Hisashi tells him as he motions to all the technology around them.
David smiles when he hears that and looks toward Hisashi.
"Yeah. You're right. But I don't think anything we make will ever live up to All Might." He tells Hisashi with a hint of bitterness still in his tone.
"Maybe not right now. You never know what kind of advancements we'll make. Maybe in a few years, it'll be possible." Hisashi tells him with a shrug.
"Maybe." David agrees in an unconfident tone.
-------------------
With Izuku. He transforms into Deku and rides on the Plus Striker in unicorn mode toward where the Nomu is.
When he arrives on the scene, he witnesses Death Arms and Kamui Woods fighting against a Nomu with preying mantis-like features. Kamui Woods tries to trap the Nomu with his wood manipulation Quirk, but Mantis Nomu swings their bladed arm forward and sends a blade of air toward the hero, cutting through the wood meant to capture him as it does so.
Kamui Woods panics when he sees this and barely manages to dodge the wind blade before it can cut him in half. It still hits the side of his waist and causes him to hit the ground while holding his side in pain.
"Kamui Woods!" Death Arms shouts in worry before having to duck under another blade of wind sent at him by Mantis Nomu.
"You don't have time to worry about him!" Mantis Nomu shouts as he goes for a downward slash to try to cut Death Arms in half.
However, Death Arms jumps to the side in time and charges in without fear. He tackles Mantis Nomu before wrapping his arms around his opponent and using his enhanced strength to throw Mantis Nomu high into the air behind him.
While Mantis Nomu is falling head-first toward the ground, he launches another wind scythe to try and hit Death Arms. Luckily for the hero, the feeling of being upside down without any foundation messes with his aim, and he avoids it easily. Once Mantis Nomu crashes into the ground, he's stunned for a second, causing Death Arms to charge at him again.
He doesn't have time, though, as Mantis Nomu quickly recovers and launches another attack that Death Arms doesn't have time to dodge. Death Arms instinctively raises his guard when he sees the attack and manages to block it before it can hit him in the chest, at the cost of a deep cut to his arms.
"You're dead, you bastard!" Mantis Nomu shouts at Death Arms as he prepares to charge before getting hit by one of Plus Striker's lightning bolts.
He gets sent flying again, and Deku stops before Death Arms.
"Are you okay?" Deku asks worriedly as he looks down at the injured hero.
Death Arms winches as he tries to lift his injured arms while nodding.
"I'll be fine. I'm glad you came when you did, though. I don't know if I could keep fighting for long." He grunts to Deku as he picks himself up.
Kamui Woods is doing the same while holding his side while Mantis Nomu recovers from the shock of the unexpected attack, having skidded backward on his feet instead of getting sent to the ground.
"Finally. One of the main attractions has arrived. Good. I was getting bored testing these abilities out on these dogs of society." Mantis Nomu laughs as he stares at Deku.
"They look like a praying mantis, and it looked like they can fire blades of wind from their claws." Deku analyzes as he summons the Power Blade and prepares to charge at Mantis Nomu.
"Let's see if you're worth all your hype." Mantis Nomu says as he prepares to charge.
"Plus Striker should be able to get me in close to beat him." Deku thinks before pulling out one of his Power Coins.
He looks at the Overdrive Power Coin and inserts it into the Power Blade while thinking.
"Let's see how this Power Coin works with the Power Blade."
"Overdrive Power Finish!" The Hero Driver announces as light blue energy envelops the Power Blade, and Deku rides toward Mantis Nomu to slash him.
At the same time, Mantis Nomu charges toward Deku while constantly launching blades of wind at the hero to at least knock him off the Plus Striker. However, the Plus Striker's reflexes and speed allow them to jump over, move to the side, and intercept them with lightning bolts. Soon, Plus Striker closes in on the Nomu, and Deku goes for a swing with his Power Blade.
It cuts into Mantis Nomu and leaves a light blue cut on his chest before Mantis Nomu crashes to the ground in pain.
"Gah! You damn brat! That hurt!" Mantis Nomu shouts as he tries to pull himself off the ground.
It's difficult for him, though. Deku's finisher did a heavy amount of damage to his body. He's barely able to turn around, let alone chase after the hero. Seeing this, Deku charges at Mantis Nomu again, with the finisher now dissolved.
Mantis Nomu sees the Plus Striker charging at him, and it looks like he can't do much to defend himself. However, Mantis Nomu secretly smirks as the Plus Striker closes in. He quickly falls into a crouching position with one of his palms touching the concrete. Suddenly, blades of earth protrude from the ground and stab into the underside of the Plus Striker as it's about to hit him, causing the Plus Striker to be launched back and for Deku to fall off it.
"Thought I could only make blades of wind, didn't you? Too bad for you, my Quirk lets me sharpen and manipulate anything to make it into blades." Mantis Nomu grins before launching a blade of wind at the prone Deku, hitting him dead on and causing him to roll across the ground.
Deku groans from his place on the ground as he tries to get up while Mantis Nomu keeps firing wind blades. His armor stops any scar-worthy injuries like with Death Arms, but they still take their toll on the young Kamen Rider.
Panicking slightly, Deku summons the Mighty Knuckle in the hand he lost the Power Blade with and throws a sloppy punch at an incoming blade of wind to give him time to stand up. When the shockwave-producing gauntlet makes contact with the sharpened wind, the clash destroys the elemental attack while Deku's arm is forcefully reeled back and slams into the ground. But it still gives Deku time to recover and get back on his feet.
After getting up, Deku sees Mantis Nomu about to launch another attack before getting shot by the Plus Striker. Seeing his chance, Deku inserts the Rabbit Power Coin into the Hero Driver and turns the key for his next finisher.
"RABBIT POWER FINISH!" The Hero Driver announces as green energy builds around Deku while taking a crouching position.
Mantis Nomu sees this and tries to stop him but can't, as Plus Striker keeps him from doing anything.
"Get out of my way!" Mantis Nomu shouts as he launches another set of earth blades at the Plus Striker to stop it from getting in his way.
However, Plus Striker bought their master enough time to build up his finisher.
Deku charges at Mantis Nomu before jumping in the air and launching a flying kick toward the Nomu. Mantis Nomu tries to stop the finisher by firing as many blades of wind as possible, but Deku breaks through any attack Mantis Nomu uses to try and stop him. Finally, Deku crashes into Mantis Nomu's chest and causes him to explode. Deku goes through the explosion and lands behind Mantis Nomu.
"Woo!"
"That was awesome!"
"Go, Kamen Riders!"
People shout about Deku's victory and inadvertent showmanship with his finisher. While listening to the cheers, Power Coins fly into Deku's hand with the black outlines of a sword and praying mantis head. He then runs to Death Arms as Kamui Woods helps the other hero move.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?" Deku asks him worriedly.
"Yeah. Don't worry. I've faced worse than this while being a hero." Death Arms tries to calm him down.
Deku sighs in relief before looking around toward the crowd blocked by police.
"I'm sorry if I keep stealing the attention from you guys. I look up to heroes and think you're amazing." Deku says while bowing toward Death Arms and Kamui Woods.
The heroes are surprised at the sudden genuine apology for getting the attention over them. Most heroes would be happy to have more attention on them, especially young ones like Deku and Kamui Woods.
"It's fine, kid. It's part of being a hero. Sometimes, you get overshadowed. Sometimes you do the overshadowing." Death Arms assures him in his usual grim tone.
"I just feel bad because you two are such great heroes and have done this longer than me," Deku says, rubbing his head.
"Thanks for the compliment, kid. You've got a good heart. Try not to lose that as you rise through the ranks like some pros." Death Arms tells him with a nod.
Deku can only nod as the Plus Striker comes over for him to get on. When he's about to leave, Death Arms says one last thing.
"And kid, try not to let your mistake with the Paper Nomu crush you." Death Arms advises.
"O-okay." Deku stutters that last one from shock before riding off.
As the two watch Deku leave, Kamui Woods looks toward Death Arms with interest.
"You usually get angry with young heroes for making rash actions." He tells Death Arms.
"I know. But that kid seems young. I feel like he went into hero school after graduating and went to being a hero, skipping being a sidekick. If I had to guess, I'd say hearing about someone dying because he tried to stop the other guy from brutalizing the villain was a big shock. I can reprimand him later for such a dangerous mistake. Right now, I still want to give him time to adjust to what happened." Death Arms explains to his fellow hero, who nods in understanding.
Unknown to those on the ground, above them is a drone, with the symbol of an emoticon smiling while giving a thumbs up, recording everything.
-------------------
A tall, lanky man with long black hair that goes down to his waist with bangs that cover his eyes and strands that go to his chest is watching the drone's camera feed on his laptop. The man has a relatively long nose, although nowhere near as long as Re-Destro's, and a wide mouth.
The man is dressed in all black with a black turtle neck under a black formal jacket, dark pants, and long-toe black shoes.
"How interesting. I had hoped this warrior would be able to handle the Kamen Riders, but it wasn't unexpected given what we know of their abilities. Luckily, this one was merely a scout meant to help us gather more data on the Kamen Riders' abilities and whoever it is taking out our warriors." The tall man mutters as he goes over the recording and backs it up.
With that done, he pulls out his phone to inform Re-Destro about the new data while changing the camera feed on his laptop to Re-Destro's office. However, he pauses his plan to inform Re-Destro when he notices the man meeting with a suspicious individual he almost recognizes from his talks with Curious.
Suspicious, the tall man has his laptop recording while putting his phone away.
-------------------
"May I ask who you are and how you got in my office despite security?" Re-Destro asks cordially as he stares at Giran while silently preparing to attack if things get dangerous.
"You already know who I am. Well, we've met several times. However, I constantly have to erase all data of my being here due to how secretive our operation runs." Giran jokes while taking out the inhaler-like device he grabbed when Kimura was defeated.
"I'm just here to return this. You must be more careful with them. Unlike the Nomu Coins, these have the chance to help others discover more about us even if we have them self-destruct. They're not as easy to hide, you see." Giran says in a friendly tone as he gives Re-Destro a relaxed smile.
"I'll keep that in mind. Thank you." Re-Destro calmly states as he de-activates his Quirk due to remembering parts of their previous meeting, like how ineffective his last attack was.
"I'm glad to hear it. This will be the only time I retrieve these for you. Next time, we'll be having them self-destruct. Don't ask me why we didn't before; I can only assume it's as a show of power." Giran says with a shrug before standing up.
He quickly erases Re-Destro's memories before leaving the room to erase the security footage. Not realizing it's too late. The tall man is already making a backup of what's been recorded.
-------------------
The tall man looks at the laptop furiously because of what he witnessed. His leader was blatantly threatened and attacked in his office, of all places. From the sounds of it, it seems this person has been taking out his security camera data. That's something that angers the man more.
He quickly realizes what Giran plans to do and saves what he's witnessed on his laptop. There will be no way for Giran to figure out this since the tall man understands how to cover his technological footprints.
After saving the data, he glares underneath his bangs at the man.
"I need to inform the other executives about this. We finally have hard data on the person attacking the Grand Commander." The man slightly grins as he imagines what they can do with this data.
With that thought, he makes preparations for the executives to secretly meet up so he can share this data with them. While doing that, he's also preparing to send the video of Deku's fight against Mantis Nomu to Re-Destro so they can work on possible strategies to take down the Kamen Riders with it and what they already have.
"The next meeting will prove to be interesting. We'll have a lot to talk about with our situation and the condition of our warriors." The man says to himself as he prepares everything.
-------------------
At Uncountable Industries, the group analyzes the new Power Coins Izuku got after his fight with Mantis Nomu.
"They're not the best but will at least be useful. Especially this Razor Edge Power Coin. It'll add a bit of a sharpness to your attacks." Hisashi jokes with a grin as he looks at the data of the Power Coins.
"Nice job defeating the Nomu by yourself, Izuku." David compliments the boy, getting nods of agreement from his daughter and Momo.
"Yes. It was an amazing feat." Momo tells him while nodding.
"T-thank you. But it felt weird. The Nomu didn't seem as strong as a few of the other ones." Izuku tells the group with a slight blush and an uncertain expression.
"They can't all be winners. Don't forget, while they're strong villains, they're still people and will come in different shapes and sizes. Not all of them will be as big a threat as the other." Hisashi tries to ease his son's worries.
"I'm still worried since all the Nomu have been after us. It feels weird that this one was so easy." Izuku tells him while looking toward the ground in thought.
Hisashi decides to pause and think about his son's words with the others in the room. Melissa and Momo aren't sure either, but the adults think they might know what's going on from experience.
"So, you're saying they might have sent someone only to get more data on you?" Hisashi finally asks his son.
Izuku thinks about his words before nodding.
"They might be. It would make sense if they want to beat us, right?" Deku asks curiously.
"He's not wrong, Hisashi. It would make sense that the creators of the Nomu would want to see the weakness of the devices meant to defeat them. Plus, you guys were attacked at your apartment complex along with Hikage." David tells him.
Hisashi puts a hand to his chin before agreeing.
"You're not wrong, but I'm hoping you are." Hisashi scowls in worry.
-------------------
Katsuki scowls at Slidin' Go as he sits behind him in the hero's van while Slidin' Go drives Katsuki home. He's angry that Deku got to the Nomu before him because Slidin' Go didn't realize he got a Nomu alert.
"I'm sorry Bakugou. You get so many calls and texts from people as a hero that I sometimes put my phone on silent while trying to do something. It's become a habit at this point." Slidin' Go apologizes in his usual cheery tone for what feels like the fifth time in the past hour.
"Because of you're damn habit, Deku got to the fucking Nomu before me! And what's with that damn tone!? It doesn't make you sound sorry at all!" Katsuki shouts at the hero in anger.
"Sorry. I'm just a naturally cheery person." Slidin' Go laughs, angering Katsuki even more.
"Tell you what, I'll look into how I can make it up to you. I have quite a few connections from my hero work, and I'm sure I can come up with something." Slidin' Go tells him, not changing his tone from before.
"Whatever," Katsuki growls before turning to scowl out the window, not noticing the mischievous and cunning turn Slidin' Go's smile takes after he says that.
Power Coins
Deku
Rabbit, Draco-Breath, Charge, Marsh, Solidification, Unicorn, Overdrive, Wheels, Division, Bull, Barrier, Creation, Razor Edge, Mantis
Chamber
Rifle, Fierce Wings, Shadow Stalk, Gatling, Chameleon, Dragonfly, Sonar, Burrowing Drill, Sprouting
King Explosion Murder
Explosion
#my hero academia#kamen rider#kamen rider deku#izuku midoriya#katsuki bakugou#momo yaoyorozu#melissa shield#hisashi midoriya#david shield#re destro#meta liberation army#giran#skeptic#death arms#sero hanta
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7/30/23
I'm going to write this and then do yoga to wind down before bed. I'm... angry. I'm upset. So I'm going to just start with that and get that out and process those emotions before moving on to the positives.
If I never hear another person say "I'd love to help you with your work" and then fucking suggest I get into another line of work, it will be too soon. Get fucked. Seriously. I'm just really fucking done being polite about this. Get fucked. All of you.
"I came to you specifically because I love your art style, I always have!" (Has never bought a single one of my pieces, won't even go on to Instagram to see what work I've been up to since fucking college.) "You know, you should really get into graphic design. Then you can make your real work in your free time that you won't have because your commissions will take up all your time and creative energy now!"
Hey, guess what. If I wanted to learn a new medium right now, it would be 3D modelling, not fucking designing logos. If I wanted to design logos, and it was something that creatively called out to me, something that I didn't struggle with... I would probably start with MY OWN FUCKING BRANDING. But yeah, I'm just some hack dime-a-dozen wannabe artist who's just doodling and playing with hobby projects all day... who should get a "real job" like designing a label for Grandma Margaret's Jam or some shit. With a program I've never used. In a style I've never done.
Here's the fun part. You ready? Just the tip of the iceberg with the fun part, don't worry, it gets much better as it goes along. So... a huge defining line for me between working as a fine artist and working as a designer for someone else is... ready for it? I have to draw what they are looking for. They are not approaching me for my vision. They are approaching me for my version of their vision. However... 90% of these people are not creative enough to come up with shit that looks good enough that I'd want to put my name on it. That I even want to sink hours and hours into making it, and learning the techniques required to make it. It bores me. It is, by definition, uninspired.
I, as an artist, have a very broad stream of inspiration I'm working with right now. I have many projects being developed simultaneously right now, to the point where some have been put on hold (like two of the mini-Zen gardens). I'm already overwhelmed. And the advice I'm given... to help me with having too much inspiration and not enough time, resources or manpower to get them all done before more ideas start spewing out... and nowhere to put the finished pieces so that people can even find them... The advice is... "fill the majority of your time with making someone else's ideas." "Cut your studio hours in half (at least), fill the bulk of it with paid gigs where you draw someone else's 'cool idea', then squeeze in some 'fun time' to work on your cute little 'passion projects' on the side."
I said it gets better. You ready? Not only is graphic design arguably the most competitive artistic field in human history, but I am going into that field with a net total of about 4 hours of experience with the required medium. I do not have an eye for logo design, in fact... quite the opposite. I went over this on the phone today, I have no clue if he actually processed this. Logos really need to be simple and minimal, with reduced detail in order to be legible. Especially when being scaled. They tend to need to be low detail. My specialty is hand-crafting and detail work. I specialize in literally the opposite of this. And it makes me start to think he was just blowing smoke and fluffing me up in order to get me onboard by saying he wanted my art style. I'm not sure he entirely knows what artstyle is even going to work with what he's looking for.
Okay, I gave fair warning... here's the best part. Of all of the artistic jobs that are currently under threat of being lost to AI, this is by fucking miles the biggest. If there was any artistic field that would be obliterated by AI, it's graphic design. Why? Grandma Margaret can just go on that website and type in "jam label that says 'Grandma Margaret's Jam' that looks like _____". And an AI will instantly produce multiple drafts of that for her. For free.
What I'm getting at with all of this is... my friend contacted me for a task that, to me... is kind of the equivalent of me calling him up and asking him to help with a clogged sink. He works in pipe fabrication and specialty welding. I mean... it's all pipes... right? And offering to pay him for it. And when he says "sure, for a friend" and we get to talking about his business and he starts talking about how he's kinda struggling a bit to get things where they need to be in order to keep the bills paid, my way of "helping him" is to tell him he should quit his fucking job... do it as a hobby in his free time... and be a plumber.
Does he have a right to say "I don't want to be a plumber?" If his business is struggling, can he really afford to turn down taking on a primary gig of unclogging peoples' toilets?
Better than all that, let me just come out and say it. HOW THE FUCK IS THIS "HELP"? You know what helps an artist who has been struggling with mental health stuff that makes social interaction difficult? Help with the social side. Fucking DURRRR. How about you BUY A FUCKING PAINTING?! How about that? How about you get a piece of my original art, a piece of jewelry, maybe commission me to paint something on your guitar case? Something like that? And fucking show that shit off. You don't support a tattooist by telling them to get into fucking web design. That's how you create another website designer. Fucking imbiciles, I just don't understand how people make these logical leaps. I mean, it has to come from a lack of familiarity with the field. It has to. They must have no fucking clue how different freehand painting and carving wooden staves with hand-tools is from working in fucking Dreamweaver.
"Oh, you went to culinary school and trained to be a chef? And you're very talented? But you struggle with crippling social anxiety, agoraphobia and PTSD? Oh man, let me help you! Here, here's your help. Give up on being a chef and go be a fucking bartender."
Fuck you.
That doesn't even help me work towards my goals. In fact, it requires me to put my goals aside in order to focus on something else. And then I'll "learn to love it". And then 10 years later, I'll look at a calendar and see 2033 and see myself at 46 still barely squeezing in time to make my own work. Realizing I haven't drawn anything inspired by my own thoughts, my own inspiration, since X was called "Twitter".
That sounds like Hell.
I'll take my chances, thank you. I'd rather go get rejected at art galleries over and over than do that shit, thanks though.
And on top of this... and this is pretty par for the course for this guy... but he told me to plug my ears when we were in a social/business call... so he could shoot a fox with a .45 pistol with hollow point rounds. Because it had been fucking with his chickens. Here's an idea, Mr. Handyman. Build a better chicken coop.
I'm a bit upset that I was present for that. I love foxes. I really do. They get such a bad wrap. One of the last times I cried about something that wasn't the loss of a family member was witnessing the corpse of a fox in my old neighborhood that used to visit my house that got hit by a car. I was mortified. We had met in the driveway several times. Foxes are lovely animals. And he took it out with one shot, one handed while on the phone and bragged. And I just nodded and smiled and went along with it, blending in. I actually told him, if he felt up to it, I'd be willing to take some of its remains (pelt, teeth, claws, bones) to make something out of it. I'm not sure what, probably jewelry from teeth or claws, not sure about the fur, the bones would have to be cleaned but I could carve or paint them. His response? "I don't think there's much left of it, to be honest." Like... the most modern American answer imaginable.
It really upset me that he didn't even try there. And that he isn't entertaining the idea of potentially using a smaller caliber or a trap in order to... have the remains be usable. I don't like that he feels he needs to resort to killing it. Let's get that straight. I'm vegetarian, so I figure that would be implicit... But I do understand that he feels that's a more effective, practical solution for him. And I'm not willing to confront him on that. What did deeply upset me was that he didn't even make an effort to try to preserve the remains to show that animal respect. I really would like to find a way for us all to take a more "use every part of the buffalo" approach to life. It's so wasteful, so disrespectful, to not only treat that creatures life as though it is absolutely meaningless to you, but to overkill it in such a needlessly cavalier way and refuse to honor their remains by having them turned into something precious. How savage. The cowboys you mimic would be ashamed. The pioneer industrialists would give you a standing ovation. "Throw that in the garbage pile where it belongs."
Welp, don't be surprised if what you put out into the world - a smug sense of superiority, a lack of compassion or empathy, a detachment from ethics - ends up facing you someday. I don't know how I keep ending up face-to-face with these people. Maybe I just never filtered them out. I don't know.
In the past, I would've normalized his behavior. "Haha, that's just what he does." Now? I'm not going to stop him, I'm not going to shame him - it is not my role to play - but I'm absolutely not approving or downplaying. But man, if you've got any sense about you... I'd say the number one thing you do NOT want to piss off by being disrespectful? It's Nature. So... maybe show a little more respect?
So yeah... not really sure if he's still... "friend material". Maybe with limits? But I'll try to give his logo thing a shot. As a favor for a friend. A paid favor. But, to be completely honest... I don't want him going around and recommending me for graphic design. I do not enjoy this process. I don't like having to read the mind of a non-creative. I do not like having to submit endless drafts by a person who is acting like an artist, using me as their creative puppet. It's not enjoyable. It's not my work. And it's really not how my creative process functions. It's something that utilizes my trained skills that I've developed over the years, with little smidges of creative influence. And it's something very visible. So yeah, I don't mind if he tells people he got it done by a local artist who doesn't usually do this kind of stuff. In fact, that would make it much more special and impressive, so he can brag about it. And god knows, if it's one thing that man likes to do, it's brag and show off. Always has been. I just really hope he doesn't go around saying "you should get my friend to design blahblahblah for you". It's a very different thing than saying, "you should see my friend's art exhibit," or "you like that painting? It's one of a kind. My friend made it. You should check his shit out."
And on that note... I think I'm going to take down my derelict unused print shop finally. It cheapens my work. And, again, it's not what I do. It's a perfectly fine thing to do if your intention is to make prints. But my intention has never been to make prints, it has been to make one-of-a-kind pieces. I was peer-pressured into selling prints. And only sold single prints to... the people who peer-pressured me. Oh fuck. So... Wow... Okay... So... I pulled up my sales on that shop. I only sold one duplicate. A mandala I made for my aunt, which was purchased by my aunt, and by my mom. So... Jesus Christ, the reality of this really hurts. That piece. That I made for my cancer survivor aunt, but my mom wanted a copy and convinced me to scan it so they both got prints from an online print shop... that piece netted me $20, it took me at least 6 hours to make. A mechanical dragonfly piece that I drew for my younger brother as a tattoo design but he "didn't want"... was bought for $11. One of my trademark pieces, a realistic chipmunk that I drew in college... I sold one to my brother and one to my Mom. I never should have cloned that piece, it's too special, it's 15 years old. It has netted me $20 total. And a copy of the tattoo design that I made for the ex-wife of this friend I'm doing graphic design for, that was sold to my former best friend for $10. So... total, my body of work from this print shop has netted me about $60 since the start of the pandemic. Ready for the mind-fuck?
The chipmunk original... could likely go for over $2000. Alone. More, if someone valued it higher. That's how art works. The mandala? Maybe $150? I don't know about that one. I'm not very good with pricing at all. Point being - all of these pieces were bought by family members or former friends. All of them were bought for pennies, only two of them were duplicates. So... if one of them had bought one of my original pieces... I would've made probably bare minimum 3x the amount that I ended up making total for all of them. And it would not have made any negative difference, that original is just sitting in a fucking portfolio right now. As long as that piece has a good home where the owner loves it, that's where it belongs.
But I live in a world where people don't value my art. They don't mind buying a cheap copy, but they don't want the original. I have personally been witness to my own pieces being propped up in a closet next to a litterbox and draped over a rocking chair in a hallway with a hole torn in the middle, and shoved in the back of barn with scrap wood.
I don't need to ask people "how can you help me?" I don't think I ever have, honestly. I can tell them very clearly how to support me. Buy my shit. And be a goddamn fan. Stop being a fake fan. Show a genuine interest in what I do. Ask me if there is any story behind the mandala on my skateboard. Guess what? There is for every fucking piece. Hell, ask me what the fuck I'm working on! Tell your friends about how cool my work is.
You know what's depression fuel? Having to explain to people how to support you as a creator... right after they've sung the praises of another one. I don't have to teach this guy how to sing the praises of his favorite tool company, or his favorite brand of survival gear, or his favorite beer or cigarettes, or his favorite restaurant. Or, bringing this more back in-genre, his favorite podcast or music. You don't need to coach someone on how to share things that they genuinely enjoy. Because... they do it willingly. So... you get where I'm going here? When they say that? It very overtly, to my face, tells me that they don't like my shit. That they say they like my shit, but they don't even know what I do, and really aren't willing to put in the time or effort to even find out what I do. They just know that I can "draw good" and if I draw for a company that's already established, or get a drawing on a fucking beer can or something, that equals $$$. That's all. That's all they process. And they look at me like I'm stupid for continuing to pursue my career, my life, rather than follow their out-of-nowhere unsolicited career-swap idea. When all they'd need to do to help my business? And help my life as a whole... Is to be a good friend.
How deeply, deeply sobering.
Welp, until he brings up "The Path" unprompted... I'm going to charge him full price. And I'll have to brainstorm what that number actually is. Not a smart idea to tell me you get paid $90/hour... while in a business meeting where you're going to be paying me... That fox's life alone is gonna tack a few hundred onto the end of this gig.
All of that said... it was good to talk to someone again. And he did seem... generally supportive. He saw my side with how I got scammed by the dealership and lost my car. He was sympathetic about how the old house I was renting was falling apart and filled with mold and how that was fucking with my health. He seemed optimistic about me living in an area with more younger creative people.
He just seemed more concerned with sharing his opinions than asking questions, so... yeah. That's a thing. I'm sure he's having quite a few relationship problems because of that nasty trait.
So... I'm not going to take that too close to heart. He means well, but if he's not helping me pursue my goals... then he's trying to set new ones for me. And that's not support, that's coercion. I learned that from my family! Yay! They actually taught me something! Supporting your artist/musician son by saying "of course you can make your art... in your free time... but in the meantime you need to get a 'real job', like working in the stock market, like we happen to do and consider a 'real job'." Yeah man... um... that's supporting someone to do something you want them to do... not what they want to do... that's not... support... it's more of a veiled threat. The veil being - the generosity. The threat being - if you pursue art full time, we will not support you. And they get away with it by just acting as though being a full-time artist is... not a career. But convincing your friends to give you their hard earned money, so you can just... give that money to brokers to invest it in successful companies... and taking a slice off the top for choosing those companies? Now that is a career. That's a "real job".
I'm sure people have differing schools of thought on that respective to what kind of family they grew up in... I am firmly standing by that statement. If your child wants to be a firefighter, and you say "maybe you can be a firefighter in your free time..." You are not supporting their goals. You are literally telling them to put it on the backburners and find something else to do. Something more realistic. That's not support. That's not helping them come up with a plan. That's not quantifying resources. That's not finding out what you have to offer, seeing what social resources or connections you can provide. It's saying "I don't believe you are going to succeed at that, but I don't think you should give up entirely... I just think you should give up... mostly."
And here's the thing. Adam Duff said it really well, it stuck with me really fucking deep and it's been ringing through my head for days now. Being an artist is not just a job, it's a way of experiencing life. That's not just fruity language or a fun little quote to throw out there in a conversation to "sound deep". That's a literal truth. The way that artists experience life itself, they way we think, the way we learn. It deviates from the norm. We are different. And that is what makes us gifted. That is our gift, our unique vision of the world. Our unique voice, our unique perception, our unique way of thinking. Our identities are what make us artists.
This is not just technical skill. It's a way of thinking and expressing yourself. The conversation you have with an CPA is going to be vastly different from the conversation you have with a fine artist. Why the fuck wouldn't it be?! So when you take an artist and you cram them into a place in life where their creative flow, their way of thinking, their way of living... gets in the way? What the fuck do you think is going to happen?
You're going to get problems. You're going to get failure to meet deadlines. You're going to hit barriers in mutual understanding. You're going to get people wandering around daydreaming on the job. You're going to get existential crises.
Okay, let's connect to a point from earlier. (The dog next door has been barking for at least 20 minutes now, and it's 1:30 AM. I feel so bad for the poor thing.) So... if being a "traditional artist" (I fucking hate that term, just say art for all of it) is actually still a real job... a viable career... I'm simply not going to get support, and the "support" I get is a recommendation to get into graphic design. So... let's say I'm dumb enough to do that, to give up my creative calling and adopt someone else's. I get into graphic design. I get a bunch of commissions, but in 2 years - fuck it, look at how fast ChatGPT blew up, let's give it 1 year - in 1 year, AI graphic design is the new hot thing. Squarespace has their hands in it, Adobe has their hands in it. Graphic designers are dropping left and right. So... what are those graphic designers supposed to do with their now obsolete job? Hmm? I'll tell ya. Go make fucking coffee, bud. Until they smarten up and turn those into self-serve machines.
Yeah yeah, "they took our jobs!" I know. But this is actually happening. And... I was just the other day expressing such deep relief that I don't work in digital art. That my forms of creative expression are so far from being replaced. Because I'm doing the opposite of what AI is built to do. I don't use the most modern tools... in fact, a lot of the time I don't even use tools at all. I do not aim to produce work as fast as possible, I give it all the time and attention it calls for until the piece itself is satisfied. Like a good lover should. <wink> I do not aim to mass-produce work. I focus on individuality, character and end up with a one-of-a-kind product that has an actual story behind it, that has a soul. And, most importantly, I do not rely on user input to create a piece. My work comes from inspiration, from my connection to my own subconscious and the collective unconscious. All I have to do is keep that connection clear and be willing and ready to capture the ideas when they come to me.
THAT is what I do. THAT is what I have been doing since I was a teenager. And I'm getting really fucking good at it. I literally do it in my sleep.
Again, this is not to besmirch other forms of creativity, every medium and process has its place and every one is valuable. This is simply the form that meshes best with me, that has created my best works. This is the process and form of work that leaves me looking at pieces I did years ago in awe and joy. Like, "I did that. I finished it. I made that real. I brought that into the world." I can't even explain the level of healthy pride that I felt when I finished The Path. So much that I rewatched it yesterday (or today, it's all blending together due to sleep deprivation) and it brought a tear to my eye. Even the music I wrote for that piece is fucking... it's just all right where it belongs.
And I simply feel like the people in my life do not even really understand what it is that I do. Thus... who I am. And, they clearly do not see value in what I do... otherwise they would... watch my videos... or listen to my music... or read my poetry book... and want to have my art... or at least support me on Patreon or something... So... if they don't see value in my art... and my art is a reflection of my experience of life... they would surely struggle to see value in me. And they clearly picture me as... a person who does graphic design. And... I am not. I am not a graphic designer. I'm just a good friend who is willing to go outside my comfort zone for a friend, and for a personal challenge.
So yeah, despite the several setbacks... the conversation was not bad. We were able to get some headway and I was able to get a clearer vision of what he's looking for. I hope. I got Illustrator and started mocking something up. I... of course... started doing it all manually, line by line. Then... after I finished the lion's share of the work, found a bunch of shortcuts to clone stuff. And... I went to it like a moth to a flame. And then spent like 2 hours trying to figure out how to use these processes... to clone details... to turn what would be like... 1-2 hours straight of detail drawing into literal seconds. And I just... didn't know how to do it. I couldn't figure it out. Even with googling.
I made progress with it, but like... it just got frustrating. And I just really feel... this clash. Graphic design and logos and shit are supposed to be about like... being sleek and clean and legible from both close up and a distance. And the piece he wants would look great with lots of detail. I had so many ideas that were detail based. Realism styles, lots of shading, lots of color. But... it's going to end up looking like an ink-stamp. Because it's a letterhead logo, and a t-shirt logo. So... yeah. If I put too much detail in, it gets lost on the letterhead. If I put too little, it looks bland on the t-shirt. It's just a very different language than I've ever really thought in. It's definitely a challenge. And... the end result is not going to reflect "my style" at all. So yeah, it's a confusing situation. But I made progress, quite a bit, actually.
I just really need to make sure I don't put the skateboard on the backburner for this. I have to finish at least the mandala, so I can actually go out and skate. I need the exercise and the stress release.
Hmm. I came out of that conversation feeling like it was a good conversation and nice to catch up with a friend, but looking back at my reaction here? I guess it was actually mostly not good. Quite a few red flags there. I want to say... "I don't think he's a bad guy, I'm just not ethically in the same place as him in some places, we're very different people, and I think he's a bit self-centered and doesn't really seem very empathetic." I'm genuinely unsure if this unqualifies him as a good potential friend. I mean, he did seem on my side with the car dealership thing, and the old house falling apart, but... he didn't entirely ask about that. He just kinda asked how I ended up here. I don't know. I'm just trying to be cautious. I fear I have been a bad judge of character in the past... because all of my past friends turned out to be eerily similar to this... and... I'm seeing those similarities pretty clearly. So... yeah. We'll see.
I cant' tell if I was blinded by reconnection, the whole Ace of Cups emotional blinding of reconnecting with an old friend... so that I overlooked the bad things that happened... or if my hangups with the bad things that happened are making it harder for me to see the potential here. I don't know. It's clearly both, but the proportion is pretty important.
I'll try to sleep on it. I only got like 5 hours of sleep, after 2 the night before. I need to do yoga and go to bed. But hey, at least my entire apartment got spotlessly cleaned for an hour and a half phone call, right?
I re-read this back. I need to find a positive note to end this on.
I went way outside of my comfort zone. And socialized. And tried a new program and actually reached success, I got a successful sketch mockup in a new piece of software on day one. And it's actually pretty damn decent. That's big. And... and... I did that on massive sleep debt. And the only fuck-ups I made was... I may have been too nice. Too forgiving. (story of my life) Wow, my depression really needed to get a word in there... XD That's not bad. I'm usually really insecure about all that. But I did a bang-up job. I showed up on time, I brought my A-game, I went above and beyond. I drew up 2 pages of concept sketches and notes unprompted. I went super in-depth. I asked all the right questions. So... from a professional angle? I did a spectacular job. From a friend angle? Maybe I would have better results with friends that align with my ethical values and goals a bit more? Maybe keep it more at an acquaintance level? That sounds like a fair compromise. And now that I've cultivated more confidence, I can try to go to the model drawing session.
OH MY GOD, HOW DID I FORGET TO SHARE THIS! Okay, so I did the deep tissue massage last night. 2 hours on just my feet, shins and calves. XD My Soleus muscles are just... fucked. Good lord. They're so tender and tight. I could barely walk after. I'm still sore. I'm going to wait at least a week before going back in for more. But they actually started loosening up. But man, that process was just... so intense. I had to dig really deep into my muscles, find the spots that I were just like "nope", and then take a breath and just work those spots until I didn't feel it anymore. And it worked. Until my hands started giving out and I was just getting wiped from all of it after 2 hours.
But I had the idea of bringing up anatomy pictures to help jog my memory of what I was working with under the skin, and to make sure I was getting all the muscles. To get an anatomy refresher as I went. And it really helped. And the picture I chose was a picture from a study guide for people studying to get qualified for massage therapy. XD And it actually passed through my mind... "could I do that?" And I honestly... I mean, that would be good money. And I would be really good at it. And it would be great for my knowledge and study of anatomy for my art. (that's what jogged my memory, the figure drawing classes and anatomy study) But that would be a gigantic plunge for me as far as social anxiety and physical intimacy goes. To go from struggling to shake peoples' hands to... massaging mostly naked strangers? I don't know. I mean, nudity is barely even a sexual thing for me at this point, it's not a problem with that at all. It's just how insanely sensory overwhelming it is for me to be in physical contact with other living beings, it has been all my life - it's a big part of why I bond so insanely deeply with people I have been physically close with. But it's something to think about. One of 50,000 potential side-gigs, along with guiding barefoot hikes, doing tarot readings, hosting improvised drawing groups, being a creative coach/mentor, giving lessons, shit like that. The more on the pile, the better. Then, if the opportunity comes along for any of them, fuck yeah. (note that graphic design and web design are not on the list... XD)
Okay, yeah, so... I'm absolutely seeing the value of anatomy study and refreshers with that, and that's making me feel much better about going to one of those model drawing sessions. I might see when the next one is and try to go. :) That's a good note to end on.
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Cal Kestis x Kyra Yarmot
'Revenge and Redemption:
In the Name of Love'
Pt.5
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I got nothing to add to my laziness and procrastination today, wait I do.
I spent 4 hours being distracted by an Adult Coloring Book instead of finishing this early :)
Enjoy! :)
Word Count: approx. 4.167 Words
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You left the now shared living quarters, head snapping left and right to perhaps be lucky and spy one of these Commission Troopers ahead of time, turning up with empty hands as you – instead of listening to Cal first – walk down the hallway of the Inquisitor Floor. Against your initial beliefs, the floor was much bigger than just the donut shaped outlay of the living quarters. Makers, it's been ages you had a good Donut bun-
Focus, Kyra.
"We can go to the canteen after we went to the Commission, okay?" Right, he heard that, of course he did. Somehow that's worse than hearing someone's growling stomach: Hearing someone drift off to think about their inhuman, feral hunger for fatty snacks…
"Why? It's more human than you think. And while we are at it, your idea about donut buns made me hungry too!" Human? You’re the farthest from human, but maybe…it made you seem more human? "That's what I meant, dragonfly!" He laughs, catching up with you so he doesn't have to shout through the hallway anymore and possibly cause another fight in them. Last week got him and another Inquisitor into enough trouble already. While it was nothing more than play fighting…really.
"I doubt that." "Of course you wou- wait."
Some slow beeps around the next corner stopped Cal in his sentence and for a moment you thought he was scared to get caught by a Droid. "No, not that. That sounds like one of the…yes! It's a Commission Droid!" Do they work as well? Wondering how you should intimidate a Droid of all things, a heavily programmed one unlike BD at that, you follow him around the corner.
It was a black Astro-Mech and makers did you find these models annoying…
Your master had one of these follow him everywhere but apparently it was legally karking blind! You lost count of the times that stupid bucket could've ran you over had you not realized it coming closer every time.
"You had an Astromech? I always wanted one!" "Trust me, not worth the pain…clunky pieces of shit." Your foot went out in reflex, Cal instinctively dodging to the side as you kicked the lower body of the Droid, hard. It immediately went into what you would call "Panicking Screams" whenever your Master's one fell over or something. Karking banthashit…
"Tell me where the Commission Center or a Commission Trooper is and I won't kick you again!"
Unresponsive as it was too busy to scream and beep some more…
Was this going to be the first instance of you torturing someone, a maker's be damned DROID? Because you sure were moments away from...kark it. The bucket gets it now.
Holding it by the top to stop it from rolling away, you sent another, quite personal, kick with a sneer. "Talk or break. I will make sure that they won't be able to fix you back up either!" That at least stilled the Droid in its rattling shaking, probably because it is still so self-assured that they would just repair its hull and everything else if it got destroyed. Not on your watch.
Can't repair something when you can't recognize what it even was, could you now?
"Last chance." You tell it ominously as Cal had to turn away, body heaving…he was trying to hold back his laugh. Was it that funny to see you argue with some metal? After all, you and BD did so regularly!
"Because you drew more personality out of these things than anyone else yet. I have NEVER seen one of them look or sound genuinely scared, it probably would pee if it coul-"
Oil leak...
Couldn't Cal keep that thought to himself? But you ended up laughing as well as you grab the Astromech on both sides of its round head, keeping it from turning rapidly, your open crooked grin, your wide eyes, the fangs and your almost maniac laugh probably the scariest thing it has seen in its insignificant lifespan.
"Karking TELL ME-" 'Trooper #49669E is stationed on Floor 20, Area 25G! A Commission Trooper!...please…spare…me'
Shouting worked out in the end, unlike Master Tegra tried to teach you. With some dark oil sticking to your new boots now, leaving an odd sticky sound whenever you lift your feet to walk. Small prices one has to pay…
"I don't think I can forget this interaction for a while, that was hilarious for some reason. Who the hell shouts at an object like that?!" Cal snickers, shaking his head as you both returned the same way you came from, past your rooms and to the same pair of elevators from yesterday. "What was I supposed to do? It's not like it would've told me just like that…" Cal said Commissions weren't allowed to be placed by anyone so- "Well he might've…" He mumbles, hoping you wouldn't hear it, but unfortunately for him the Kaluk have pretty good hearing. "And you just let me go on like that? Look at my boots!"
Yeah, the oil spill was probably your biggest problem of everything that just happened. You didn't really care much for Droids themselves, BD-1 wa- is one of the few special exceptions. He is much more than a Droid to you, he is family. Part of your thrown together but nearly perfect small family.
"You think of us as family…?" He inquired hesitantly, like it was difficult for him to belief, when he had pushed the elevator button to the Floor the Droid told you two. It wasn't directly on tour, you would have to get out on the 10th Floor to walk to the Elevators that actually went to the 20th. You hated such maze-like structures, how could you possibly coordinate this all while perhaps…drunk? Did this Base even have shit to drink?
"You're the closest people I have left overall and you are my mate. I would love to call you two my family if you're comfortable wit-" "Of course I am!" He reacts loudly, clearly worried that his question might've been taken in the wrong way.
"I told you before…before I left, that I want to give you a place to make your dream and goal come true. Your dreams are now also mine by extension. I will do everything so we can be the family you wish for. WE wish for…" He really had a way with sweet words, if he wanted to, lovingly caressing your waist through the black uniform as he steered you both towards the next elevator. His answer made you feel a kind of feeling you always looked forward to when around him. At ease, hopeful…reminding you that your life wasn't at a dead end with where you are now.
You're only at the beginning of your life, so young and ready to finally enjoy it like it's supposed to be. Even if in the ranks of another organization, but someday you would find independence for yourself…and your new found, hopefully growing, family.
Passing a few normal Troopers and Purge Troopers, the first of the two not usually stationed here and just on the way through basically, from what Cal explained to you while on your way to the area the Commission Trooper is supposed to be at.
25G, 25G…25…G! Found it!
And the Trooper was an even easier find, Cal pointing out their black armor usually with Yellow Shoulder Pads instead of the same black as the rest. He was working on his holopad – probably writing down a request he was given by one of the Droids that just turned a corner – as you approached him from behind, clearing your throat behind him. It caught him off guard badly enough that he almost dropped his pad before turning around.
Had he not worn his helmet, you would've sworn his eyes became wide as saucers when he realized which kind of two people stood in front of him, your own unique Uniforms sticking out in between all the normal ones around you. Especially between the white ones of the researchers on this Floor. Where you near the medical center?
"Eleventh Brother! Twelfth Sister! W-what can I do for you?!" Skittish creature, maybe he is just as new as you?
But that couldn't stop you from your mission, to get your hands on the tools and parts Cal needed. That BD needed.
"We need to request something from the Droid Repair and Maintenance Bay, if they don't have it, we need it from somewhere else ASAP." You try it the normal way this time, eyeing Cal after just a few minutes ago with the Droid, him oh so casually telling you that it could've worked without-
"Oh…I'm very sorry. I can only accept such Commission requests from Maintenance Staff." And to your ears, it almost sounded...smug. Smug that HE, a mere Trooper, was allowed to deny his superiors…
You didn't come here to let people continue to walk all over you! This was supposed to finally be the point were people respected you!
"Who said that is an option? There are two. But this isn't one of them, #49669E…" you growl the last part ominously as you close the gap between you and him. He was taller than Cal as well, a bit broader too. But that didn't intimidate you. It had to be something of a whole different type and size to effectively put respect in you.
He seemed taken back when you knew of his "name" just like that, obviously still unaware of your encounter with the Droid as he backed up many more steps, ending up against the nearest wall as you sneered in fresh anger building up. Weakling.
"Are you threa- " "Yes I am, in fact." What took a lot of concentration for others was barely more than you reaching out lazily towards him and slightly closing your palm, imagining your actual fist wrap around his throat as he was already sliding up the wall he accidentally trapped himself against. Cal could only watch with his mouth agape, not an ounce of struggle on your face as you began to exert more and more force on the Trooper.
"Send our request right NOW or I'll let you suffer until your Very. Last. Breath. THOSE are your two options." He had just about enough space left within his throat to groan a feeble 'Okay', but for some reason, it didn't make you ease up on this…weak, fragile…useless body…
You could end him right n-
"I think this is enough, Twelfth Sister. #49669E has agreed to sending the request."
You could just make the request yourself, snatch the HoloPad from his corpse-
"Kyra, I said stop!" His tight grip pulling at your raised arm and the familiar scent of him being so close pulled you from wherever you just went, feeling the near graspable darkness at the corners of your eyes recede until you saw clearly again. You let go of the Trooper almost immediately as you saw him struggle against you, helmet clunking against the metal walls. What just happened to you…
Noticing your questioning thoughts and that you weren't fully there to tell the Trooper yourself, he took over for you now.
"Listen to her and place the request for the things on this list. The room number is on the other side of the paper. Let anyone know of this or leave even one thing out and we will return, just that I won't stop her a second time." As threatening as his words were, unlike you Cal was calm and collected, clearly more used to the power he now held with his new position. You had always been at the short end of the stick despite your significant difference in strength towards the ones basically abusing their authority over you, so having so much freedom and authority to yourself now was probably overwhelming you greatly.
"Come, we're done here." Was everything he needed to say for you to really come back to him, eyeing him confused. But you only opened your mouth once far enough away from all the commotion and you waited for the elevator to come back to your floor.
"What just happened to me, Cal…I…it felt so weird. I had full control over myself, I swear. But…" "You're going to get used to it. Easier than me as well, I know you will, even the Grand Inquisitor said it. You're stronger mentally too, not just physically." He didn't say it out loud, but he let you know silently what he meant with that.
He meant the Dark Side of the Force…
Eventually you had to learn how to use it without losing yourself to it, truly master the balance you were planned to get taught by your Master before shit hit the fan. And it wouldn't be easy, as there are barely any books that talk about it even being possible, that there was no way to use the Dark Side to such extent as your powers without succumbing to it.
You would teach them differently, you would show everyone the mistake they made when they found you as disposable, as just another pawn in THEIR games…
One day has passed since then, when Cal reacts to a robotic pre-recorded message at the "front door" of his living quarters. It was a Delivery Droid with a huge load of tools and parts behind him, beeping an apology for the early disturbance but that he technically he asked for it to be delivered as soon as possible. And 2 in the morning was as soon as possible for droids that don't sleep.
"Fine, fine. Here, I signed it. Now go…" Cal grumbles tiredly, pushing the button to shut his door once more, leaving the Droid standing there unbothered. You barely fell out of bed yet when he poked his head back into the bedroom, pulling his eyebrows up when he saw you struggle with the blanket.
He thought about asking if you needed help with that, but he could imagine the answer he would get, 'It’s just a blanket, I'm good!'...only that you needed two minutes to get your claws unstuck. Cal wondered how long it would take for you to ruin that blanket fully. But he wouldn't care, you could request those as often as you wanted. Theoretically, from your sleepless speculations near karking midnight, you two could have ordered as many as to fill the whole room, but that would've definitely caused whispers on the Base with such an odd Commission.
"Better…okay, show me what the Droid dragged in." He dragged all that heavy stuff in, but okay- "It's a saying, Cal!" You laugh at his confusion, blush rising to his cheeks as he realized that he had just been jealous of a karking Delivery Droid while that wasn't even what you meant.
"That's what happens when you immediately expect actual usable thoughts from me after waking up, damn…" He now began to laugh at it as well, shaking his head while he tucked you into the living room and to the entrance where two FULL boxes of packages stood.
"Got a bit of a shopping problem?" You inquire with a barely hidden grin, Cal muttering a 'shut it' with a less hidden smile, gently pushing your shoulder. "Help me check the inventory? Once we can be sure it's everything, I can start." Start to repair and bring back BD…
In an instant, you sat down on your ass with the first pack in your claws, using the rest of their cutting strength to cut – well its more ripping now – the tape open with "ease" while Cal went over to the kitchen first, returning with a small knife before he followed you suit and sat down next to you, side by side.
Ten minutes passed and for the Trooper's luck, it was actually everything Cal had put on his list. So nothing stopped him from almost stumbling and falling while running into the small closet he showed you around just a day ago.
"What can I help? I don't just want to watch!" You were hot on his tail, ironically nearly pulling over one of the nightstands with your actual tail being excited and all over the floor as it was sure BD wouldn't stay that way forever now. "Hmm, can you sharpen your claws with this? While I got a vibro-cutter, you're way more accurate with literal knives attached to your fingers…" Well, yes you could – you eyed the high-grade sanding kit he just held out to you – but for an actual good "end-product" you would take a bit…what if he needed it soon?
"I need you to cut the fresh plating later, so you have all the time in the world. Isn't sharpening your claws like self care as well?" Oh it is, you felt…off…with your way too blunted down claws, as they barely cut anything without enough pressure and strength on your swings, stabs and hits. Now they were nothing more than…long, incredibly hard nails. Like those of the girls you once watched dance in a weird place on Belsavis...
"I will call you in immediately when I need your help with something else ahead of time, I promise." You know he would, Cal…Cal kept his promises. No matter how long it sometimes took to keep them, he still did. He saved you…
"Yes, okay. I'm over on the couch with the sanding kit." You grabbed the small tool kit he ordered specifically for you, he just told you. Long before you woke up on the Infirmary, he got it ready for you since he knew about your grooming needs, regularly having watched you go through all the procedures needed to look 'presentable' again.
Meaning sanding down, sharpening, buffing and applying a high-caring balm to your claws and claw-beds. Or to stand in front of the mirror to also do the same with your horns, but less intensely. They weren't supposed to cut through steel but be able to impale…objects…without trouble if needed.
What he never got to see for himself, because you had to upkeep the illusion that you're not more than friends, was when you went to moisture your scaly body parts, especially your face with the small more sensitive scales. Or washing and caring for your wings after missions, the membranes required extremely high moisture to stay as flexible and stretchy as they are. But too much could cause Wing Mold.
He once asked you how your ancestors – so the actual primal ancestors, not those of the "modern era" on Rhothant – took care of all that without all these fabricated products available to them. For obvious reasons, you had no explicit answer for that but concluded that it was probably with the use of the various plants growing on the Planet. As it wasn't a rocky, dead planet before the Republic came and took their freedom. From some books, you took that Rhothant had been an incredibly lush and thriving planet once. But when the sentient life on it disappeared, so did the energy of the planet, it appeared.
You're an hour into "claw care", listening to the Radio of the HoloScreen at the Living Room wall when you hear Cal's voice calling for you.
The vibro-file is thrown aside as you jump over the couch's back, way too eager to know how to help your mate and his best buddy. "Yes Cal? Can I help?" Barely dodging the blanket still lying on the floor as you stop in front of the open closet, only seeing Cal's back as he is slouched over the workbench. "I need your nimble, little fingers, love." He grumbles, irritated at something in front of him so you quickly press yourself next to him to look at what the problem was.
BD looked much more his normal size when Cal took off the broken and crushed plating to fix his insides. But he also looked kinda...naked.
"All in due time, my dragonfly. Here, first this though. Can you please try and get the cables to poke out from his two legs again? They slipped down and my tools are all too big…" Nodding, you took the two limbs from him carefully, leaving the closest to give him the needed space once more. Once on the bed, you focused on the first leg, the one with his Scomp Link. How did Cal manage to get the cable so stuck?
"I was too hectic, pushed it down further instead of pulling it…"
Oh Cal...
Carefully sliding your middle finger all the way into the slimming out metal casting, dodging other electrical parts, you manage to "grasp" the fringed cable end, well you just pushed it up against the opposite wall of the cast and pushed it up. Can't call that a secure grasp. But it worked well, soon greeting you with a green silicone wrapped cable and you quickly did the same with the other limb. You hand them back to Cal, curiously watching some more over his back as you look for the metal he would use for his new covers. "How are the claws coming along?" "Well, they could probably cut through the base again, in case of a fit of anger…but not yet at their sharpest, maybe a few minutes for the finishing touches?"
After that, you would wield one of the sharpest objects in the Galaxy – that wasn't a lightsaber – again. Kaluk Claws were a…prized…object around the Galaxy as far as the book went to tell you. And you swore you even saw a person having a claw as a necklace once. You were incredibly sure it was a Kaluk Claw…the marks where similar to yours.
"Can you help me with the cutting afterwards? The cables and the connection were surprisingly barely damaged, just crushed together under the old case."
"Of course, Firecrotch." You turned around too quickly to see his physical reaction at the reuse of the forbidden nickname, holding back a snicker when you heard him groan at it. You loved how you could pull all kinds of reactions from the ginger, ranging from happiness to annoyance. But of course making him blush was still your favorite, he did so rarely, it was a true treat.
It passed nearly a full day when Cal felt accomplished enough that you knew he was finished, joining him again in the stuffy closet to look at his work, something he refused to abandon once he started. You had already helped various times with welding the cables during that, learned quite some things about a scrappers life and job – Cal became talkative when someone shows actual interest in something specific of his life, ready to tell you ALL about it – and generally had been able to watch BD slowly but surely look more like his old self.
"The casing looks much better than I expected it at first, did you sand it with the kit as well?" He hums with a nod, squinting at the charging pad he must've kept from the Mantis. While BD was able to recharge without it, having "slept" nearly everywhere by now, it was definitely a quicker job. It looked a lot like the charging port of the small Cleaner Droid that usually zips around the floor here. A small, disk shaped one that wasn't as intelligent or sentient as the rest of the Droid Models, it was literally just there to vacuum dirt on the ground.
You called it Cleanobi for affectionate and sentimental reasons…
Cal did not get behind the naming reason yet, just thinking you had really odd naming conventions for Droids.
BD though was different, to you he had been probably one of the most intelligent, logical and emotional, Droids to cross your life's path. The other had been a blue R2 Series astromech dragged along by that Jedi that told you his lifestyle while getting wasted…
"I think he looks amazing, you think he would like me to paint his casing new after all this?"
While he silently agreed to him probably enjoying that. Cal frowns at your question, clearly something he wanted to avoid but what- "I don't know if his memories are still fully intact. The data chip supposed to hold them looked fine, but crashes like that have shown to erase data…" What…BD was fixed and he still…he could still be beyond saving? After all the time you two put into his repair…it could be all in vain.
Cal was evidently avoiding your gaze now, feeling the same as you as he fiddled with the last bits on the Droid's body, specifically where he would charge himself later on. "We can't know for certain…all I can do is power him on and we'll see…" His mood was lower now than a few moments ago, catching up rapidly on your mood after he realized just how horrible such a possibility would be. It didn't dare cross his thoughts before, but now it flooded him. They were louder than all his other thoughts, making everything else in there unreadable to you as he leaned onto the workbench, fists clenched around the corners and tears threatening to spill.
You couldn't leave him in this mood, BD wouldn't want that either! "Cal, wasn't it you who said we have to believe in him?" For a moment his grip only tightened at your question before he let go of the workbench entirely, sighing with a nod. "You're right. I did. He wouldn't leave us like this…"
Pressing a quite hard to reach button at the bottom of small droid's head, antennas still lowered and unpowered during that, it quickly changed when the panel at the back of BD's head began to light up again, also activating the antennas now. Well, at least you two managed to actually make him work again, a clear struggle in the first few hours when Cal kept messing up with the right cables and chips because they had been so tiny. He was used to taking things apart not to put them back together when he was still a scrapper!
"Please, please, please…" you both chant at the same time, watching the initial start up of his program, the replaced optics moving around to adjust, shortly…stopping on you two…before the Droid monotonously continued calibrating the new attachments for two minutes, keeping the suspension way up there for you and Cal.
Then, he stood still, looking at you both silently…
"B-BD?" Cal asks, genuinely worried now, seeing as there is no reaction at all. He just stared at his ginger friend now…probably expecting nothing but orders...
'Cal?'
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#star wars fallen order#cal kestis#cal kestis x oc#fallen order cal kestis#star wars cal kestis#star wars fanfic#star wars x oc#cal kestis fanfic#inquisitor cal kestis x oc#Inquisitor Cal#Inquisitor Cal Kestis
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April 19 -2023
12:04 AM
I’m trying once again to report the positives in my life, or at least the neutral because today was kind of ass. Work went pretty well aside from REALLY hating the kind of edit I have to do. I prefer to do no edits ideally. I’m hoping I can finish the commission tomorrow like predicted but I might cut it close.
Once again I let myself get a little too pent up but I didn’t have any method available that would have truly satisfied me and I decided to do something anyways. That almost always results in a very unsatisfying performance and it did that this time too. It just sucks and wastes a lot of time.
After that I struggled to get back to work and I only did after round 2 of horny which helped a little bit. I did a grimdark request and was about to skip my personal project time but I figured I’d at least do a little bit which plunged me into doing the whole thing which is kind of good. Its just that the whole time was spent making almost no progress at all because I’m trying to learn how to do something a little bit advanced with almost no help but I think I know where to go from here.
When it was relax time, I played some very irritating Spyro and then hopped on Minecraft with a group I didn’t match the energy of at the time. And this one guy who tends to be an over-familiar asshole REALLY got on my nerves so I muted him the whole time which caused a rift in communication. I HATE that I can’t mute someone without that happening and usually I wouldn’t do that but today was shit enough that I did not want to put up with him. I wanted to end the day with something nice. Other than him Minecraft was okay. I made some progress with the house I’m building for me and my bestie but I worry I should start becoming more active with actually doing stuff together like adventuring.
The day was ended by setting up an emulation of Mother 3 which I am looking forward to beating before TOTK comes out.
Other than all that, I’ve been trying to figure out if some things I find inherently meaningful are actually dependencies. I think I’m starting to overthink this though. I have some belief that most of my meaning should be coming from solo hobbies or something and social values stack on top of that. I don’t know why I believe this, maybe because I think I’m supposed to be able to stand completely alone and be okay? But I don’t think that is realistic. Obviously it’s important to be able to stand alone for some periods of time but I don’t want to believe I’m meant to come to terms with crippling loneliness before fostering my relationships. If I listen to my heart’s deepest desiring while also keeping in mind the importance of my own independence, what I want is to foster a loving companionship. One I can do service for and rely on in turn. I’m tired of being stressed out because I’m worried I’m actually dependent on this idea. Are we not “dependent” on all values? Even if I only wanted to live alone with no friends and only wanted to progress my artistic ability in silence, would I not also be dependent on that idea for happiness?
I think I’ve done too much thinking and too much believing in what I “should” be. The point of listening to my heart is not to think about it too much. My heart knows what I want in the purest way. I want to love. That is a core value. Wanting something like that is normal. I guess in general from an outside perspective it can be hard to tell if someone is looking for companionship for the wrong reasons. For instance someone could want a partner for their status, or sex, or to fill an emotional void that they don’t want to face. But I don’t think I fit that description. I want to pledge loyalty to someone and have that in return. EVERYONE wants that in some form or another. We want a partner, or a group, or a team.
I know talking about this so much is starting to sound like I’m coping but I’m just trying to convince myself of what I believe to be the actual truth. That this value of mine is valid. I don’t want to fight it anymore.
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