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btawizzle · 3 years

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Guide to : Essentials Career Path in A nutshell

What makes the most sense to you right now for your career development? Since I’m taking a Journalism major in Uni, I really think that the most sense decision I’ve ever thought about ( right now) is being a journalist and a screenwriter. It may sound silly, “you’re a Journalism major, of course you’re going to be a journalist”, but I seriously have many other things in mind when it comes to my job ( I really wanna be in a rock band, you know. I can play the bass or be the front man, but yeah )

And the things I have to do to develop my career will be everything that is related to writing. I can write fiction, children's books, essays, travel and beauty blogs, or maybe write a news/article. Looking forward to it~

What will complement your interests, skill set and the lifestyle that you want to have?

P-r-a-c-t-i-c-e

Okay, since I really want to have an extra boujee-parisian-lifestyle, I really have to work my *ss off. I honestly have many interests in things that’ll make money such as building a business, baking, drawing and also writing, but sometimes I just have 0 interest in practicing them. ( I guess i really have to) but for the things that I’m excellent at and don't really need a polish, that’ll be public speaking and it applies for any speaking related matters, like storytelling, and also speech ( If I have the material, too lazy to do the research)

I really want to work in entertainment, being a screenwriter and producing some work there, being a news anchor or PD at a radio maybe? but then if I finally knocked some sense into me, I guess i want to be a lecturer in a university that writes cool scenarios for their drama club and bake when bored

What do you find to be the most compelling thing to explore at this moment in time?

Honestly, figuring out what I want to do with my life. Maybe practicing some of my hobbies that I wish has a relation with my future career,like how digital video and design are supposed to work (whole adobe thingy), how to write an article/novel/blog/essays, coding? The most complicated thing I know on earth, that I wish I could just understand in a blink and also think about what I am going to do if I want to move to france.

The path you choose to follow will help you develop your career and achieve your ideal job. Therefore, it’s important to explore the different approaches available before you begin. In the next step, you will start to look at some of these approaches.

Do you already have an idea of what your ideal job is?

I really think that the idea of an ideal job is something that gives you enough money to live but not really draining you out of energy. I mean, if you’re that busy you never get the fun anymore in those jobs, the money , it has to be worth the energy that you drained, you know.

People often talk about how your passion should be your source of money blah blah blah, but sometimes, we just don't get the fun anymore if everyone pushes us to make enough money for living everytime we do what is called our passion.

I’m thinking about being a teacher with ok money and then do my hobby/dreams as the side hustle ( you know, if i’m not pass out because m’too tired), that’s my ideal job

But if we’re talking about dream jobs? Oh how I just want to be in a rock band and do gigs until the day I die, or maybe marry Damiano David from Maneskin and become a housewife? Yeah, sounds good.

What do you think the path to it looks like?

Before we finally become a lecturer, we have to-at least- have a master degree. So, because it’s 21th century and the school tuition is not cheap, I plan to take a scholarship, and hopefully I can go to europe.

I plan to be the best at uni, not that ambitious, but just to make sure I graduate on time. Until then, I plan to do my best as a uni student, like joining some organisation , doing some internship, and obviously practicing my writing abilities. I plan to find a part time job that is related to journalism ( applying to a magazine/online zine/newspaper) or something like that really, anything ( photographer, make up artist for newbie models) and keep a little amount of money for future me.

After that, I’m going to take a B1 placement test on my german, and then maybe korean/french? And of course, IELTS so i can go to europeeee for my master studies

Ok then after uni, i want to work at a magazine while I’m applying to those scholarship studies. Ok then I got the scholarship, quit the job, went to Europe having my studies and living my best life. Hopefully I will be able to still work there and get my PR maybe? And then do literally what I want. Lecturing maybe, or get a job on some movie production ? become their screenwriter. yeah

Have you previously considered that there might be different approaches to your career path? Or is this a new concept for you?

Yes, and I am super open to it. I’m just going to try my best and the rest is not in my hands. Whatever happens later in the future, that’s what my work pays off, or that’s just what god wants me to have in my life. I’ll accept it with open heart ( hopefully)

#I really want to be rich and happy.

Before you explore these further, there are a few key areas you need to keep in mind:📷

Career goals

Knowledge

Skills

Personal characteristics

Experience

In order to start on the career path you want for yourself, you need to make a plan about what you’re missing in each of these areas and what you need to acquire. Identifying purpose or focus in this way is called ‘ikigai’ in Japanese. You can read more about ikigai by visiting the links in the See Also section.

Whichever approach you choose to develop your career, these are areas you will need to focus on to see what could be further developed as you build your career.

Now let’s explore five different approaches:

1. Matrix

The matrix approach is about having skill sets in different areas and bringing them together to create a profile that is distinct to you. You may have a variety of interests you want to pursue. With the matrix approach, you can explore how to combine these interests into a role which is unique to you.

For example, someone who would like to study web programming, as well as design, could look to combine these interests and become a web developer for any company or organisation with an online presence.

2. Ladder

The ladder approach is better suited for those who know exactly what career or job role they want. They have a dream job in mind or a dream company they wish to work for, so they’re willing to work their way up the ladder to get there.

For the person that aspires to work in television, that might mean starting out as a runner on set. They may then work their way up to get a role as a director or an executive producer, or whatever that ideal role might be.

3. Entrepreneurial

The entrepreneurial approach is about turning an idea into a business and learning along the way. You apply your current skill set whilst rapidly growing your capacity in all areas of business. It takes a lot of work, patience and courage, but can be deeply rewarding for anyone who finds this path to be of interest.

4. Network

The network approach is geared around building a network of contacts that will be mutually beneficial. For example, if you were at a tech networking event and you met a few founders, this would be a great opportunity for you.

What is key in the network approach is to ensure that you’ve thought through what you can offer someone, so that it’s a mutually beneficial and authentic relationship.

5. Portfolio

Creating a portfolio might be more commonly associated with jobs in photography or graphic design. However, it is both relevant and necessary across many disciplines. Many employers will want and need to have an idea of the type of work you can do, so the portfolio approach is a great way for you to demonstrate your skills.

If someone were looking to build a career in public relations, for example, they would be at an advantage if they had a portfolio of their previous coverage. This highlights not just their contacts but what type of work they are capable of doing.

A portfolio is just as valuable a commodity as your CV, so you should build one in line with the career you are interested in pursuing. It is also a great way to share your work and skills with people beyond a job application. For example, you could add it to your LinkedIn page, website or any other medium.

Summary

Choosing the best approach for your career is an essential component of your lifelong career development. There’s no guidebook or master plan for building your career. You can take a sabbatical, be a stay-at-home parent, or even move down a position.

The important thing to remember is that your approach is your own. If you find that multiple approaches like those mentioned above appeal to you, find a way to combine those to take the right approach for you.

Share your experience:

Have you already been using any of the approaches mentioned in this step?

Can you find any examples of other approaches for developing your career? Not for this moment, but I’ll definitely go with Matrix combined with a portfolio approach. I am building my portfolio in tumblr, wix and wordpress.

Why not have a go at exploring a few of these approaches further? I wish to explore more and I will do it thx.cash

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dear--charlie · 3 years

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Dear Charlie,

It’s been a while. I know. I’m sorry. I hope you are okay, that you are healthy and that your loved ones are okay too.

I was feeling better, genuinely. Even with a global pandemic and despite the fact that I have not hugged my girlfriend in a year, I feel better. Happier, somehow. I think it’s because I told my parents about A. They took it pretty well considering the fact that I kept it from them for more than two years and that my dad is quite homophobic - turns out he is not when it’s about his own flesh and blood. I don’t know if I told you that I told them. But here you go.

Did I tell you that I started dance classes again? Well due to Covid they stopped again, like in march. I miss it. They usually keep me sane. Now, since yesterday, I feel like I am going crazy. I finished my last exam but I still have to work on my thesis. Mind you, I even applied for an Erasmus Mundus, Glasgow, Aarhus and Barcelona, maybe even Vancouver are the cities I would live in for six months each more or less. It sounds really interesting but it’s so expensive. In some weeks they tell me if I’m admitted to the scholarship. If I don’t get that scholarship, paying might get tricky. I am looking for apartments right now and I found one I really like. It’s around 50cm2, has a kitchen/living room, a bathroom, a room and a tiny room. It looks amazing but it’s expensive. Then again, it’s cheaper than anything else I saw. It’s 400 000€, when all the others started at 600 000€. Housing situation in Luxembourg is hell. It’s so expensive. The apartments I went to take a look at aren’t even in a central region. They are all on the countryside and so so so expensive. Did you know that for an apartment that size in the capital you nearly pay a million? In other countries you get an entire house for that prize, but hey… that’s life I guess. Well, when I saw this particular apartment, I fell in love. And if everything goes right, I will buy it and borrow money at the bank, hello depts for 15 years, but hey I’m only 22. I saw the apartment and I imagined A living there with me. We have talked about names for children and Samira or Alia are the ones we stuck with. What do you think of those? I know they aren’t typical names and if I’m not wrong they have arabic and/or hindu origines, but we fell in love with them. We’d like to adopt a girl, but there are many procedures until that can happen. She will probably move in with me as soon as we both finish our studies. We want to marry. Who would have thought that? It makes me genuinely happy and the distance has made us stick together even more.

I also finished my internship with the extra third graders. It was exhausting but I miss the kiddos. They turned out to be great as soon as I found out how to handle each of them and their extra behaviour. Some of them told me they wanted me to be their teacher till the end of the year. I nearly cried when I heard that, but hey, I held back the tears.

Not-Rose and I are sometimes talking, I am on friendly terms with Sally again, and I just completely dropped the 9. Lena is distant (yea, we share that name, I’m not talking about my secret alter ego) and never wants to do anything. I told Laura and Daniel about A too. They took it well. And Lisa is like always. They are my friends I guess. But I don’t think we will stay in touch after uni. We just don’t have many things in common and some of their thoughts and ideas are… quite challenging for me. I don’t want to say they are utterly stupid, but they kind of are dunderheads. I love them though, I just don’t feel like we have a lot in common. I hope the Glasgow will accept me… because that Masters degree would give me a chance to work in a higher field, maybe even research, so that I can bring about the change I strive for. Sometimes I do feel weird for telling you all of this. I’m sorry for oversharing (if it’s bothering anybody).

Oh, also, I cleaned my emails (went from 6000 to 120, huge, huh?) and I stumbled upon some form my Spanish teacher (2014-2017) The way I wrote made me cringe, but her messages were kind. I think she is one of the people who made me change for the better. A is too. And me changing my way of thinking and being more open. It think it has helped me improve a lot. I reached out to a therapist for my dermatillomania and have an appointment in march. It’s public therapy and they have long waiting periods, but at least I reached out. Right?

I wrote the TOEFL again and the DELE C1, I hope to get my results soon. The DELE is taking 3 months already, and TOEFL should arrive in about 5 days. I think I did good. I hope well enough to be admitted at a university in Madrid if they don’t take me for the Erasmus Mundus programme.

You know what? Writing to you always makes me feel serene. I’m calm right now. Freya Ridings’ Lost Without You is my company and I am okay. Yesterday I wasn’t. A’s mom might have cancer… and it might be spreading. She was destroyed and I wanted to help but I don’t even know when the next flight are going to Spain from here… I mean, there are flights, but what if no plane flies back and I am stuck there with uni starting again here… I cried. Because of her and her mother and because some days ago she asked me to read to her out of my “Essays” (aka the crap I have been writing on my phone since 2015, which mostly is utterly depressing and consists of the things I don’t really tell people. That, and some letters to you, that is. And she asked me to read the bad parts about her to her… so I did. And oh I hated myself for those words. She is okay with them, says they make her learn what to do and how to improve, but I felt like a huge a**hole because those things were not fair towards her. I was so deep into my own misery that I didn’t realize how bad I was treating my girlfriend, even though it was only on the screen and my head. That’s too much. After reading some to her, she had to leave, and I read through the entire 268 pages again and deleted every single bad thing I ever wrote about her. That didn’t make the bad feeling go away though.

I’m sorry for having written so much. It’s just been a while. I truly hope you and everybody reading through my thoughts is okay (and hey, thanks for having read until here, I know it was a lot this time).

Be safe,

Love always,

Lena.

P.S. Listen to Daughter (“Tomorrow”, “Youth”, or whatever really. The band is great and has been my company for a loooong while now)

(22.01.2021, 11:09h)

#dear charlie #Lena.

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joolshallie · 5 years

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Applying to medical school

I’m now a third year medical student (eek) and thought I’d do a bit of updated reading into applications, along with using my own experience to make a post all about applying to med school (undergrad) in the UK :D

Grade requirements

Medicine is hugely competitive so this drives grade requirements up. Having said that, universities put a lot of emphasis on you as a person, so it’s not all about having the most A*s.

Different universities put different emphases on different grades. Some focus more on GCSEs than A-Levels for their filtering systems when selecting for interview (e.g. Oxford) - and vice versa

Universities often specify grades in certain subjects at GCSE (e.g. asking for As in maths/sciences).

The best advice is to check the university’s own website for their specific requirements for GCSEs, A-Levels/IB etc. and how they use this in their selection process.

The general A-Level offer is AAA, but quite a few universities requiring A*AA now, and Cambridge requires A*A*A.

The university of Buckingham (private), Kent and Medway (new from 2020) and UCLAN require AAB

Some universities also offer AAB for some applicants with specific contextual markers (e.g. from a school with below average performance, certain postcodes).

Personal statement

I have a whole other post on “How to write a bomb ass personal statement” for anyone generally (not medicine specific) - find that here

The medical personal statement is a bit different from other subjects, and the content will vary depending on which universities you are applying to.

Generally you want to include some evidence as to your consistent interest and commitment to medicine. This can be in the form of regularly volunteering at a care home, or being a supporter of a charity. Work experience also shows clear interest, especially if you can write something that shows you went beyond just turning up (e.g. researched or went and read a book on a condition you saw there).

Many medical schools also want to know about your interests and hobbies - to show that you are a rounded person. The exception here is Oxbridge; if you are applying to either Oxford or Cambridge I would recommend having a more academic-heavy personal statement.

I included a sentence on playing saxophone in bands/orchestras to grade 8, and a sentence on being in my city’s youth council - but I think everything else related to volunteering/books/work experience etc. (I did write quite a few sentences on my blog as that is also related to medicine/motivation etc.)

I’d recommend not opening with some profound quote or “I realised I wanted to be a doctor aged 3 when holding my baby sister after she’d been in ICU” etc. cause that won’t set you apart - the admissions team will have seen it all before.

It is important to look at the university admissions site as their selection criteria changes often! When I applied Bristol medical school weighted the statement 70% in selection for interview BUT from 2019 they no longer use it AT ALL before giving offers out (unless candidates have identical scores at interview)

Work experience and volunteering

All medical schools like to see some form of volunteering or experience - they want to know that you have had exposure to the NHS/heath provider environment and actually enjoy it.

However, it is is hard to get experience in a hospital and on a ward (there are legalities up to 16 about going on wards) so it isn’t necessary.

I got experience on a hospital ward through my mum’s friend who is a doctor. I suggest using your contacts - most of you will either have a (distant) family member who is a dr/nurse/midwife etc. or know a friend who knows one!

While on work experience use your lunch break (or any spare time) to write down interesting things you've seen. This doesn’t have to be scientific and about patients; it could be about the dr’s bedside manner, or the organisation and teamwork between the different health professionals.

If you can’t get onto a ward then care homes are usually happy to have volunteers. I volunteered at a special needs children’s daycare, which was super fun and useful for my application - so do some research about volunteering opportunities near you.

Your volunteering is useful to show you are reliable and dedicated, so the earlier you start (and longer you carry on doing it) the better! Try and start somewhere as soon as you’re 16 (as often a lot of places require “over 16″).

Extra-curricular activities and hobbies

Medical schools love to see that you are a ‘rounded’ candidate with interests outside simply studying and medicine. It’s important to get this across to the person reading your personal statement/interviewer as they want to accept people who are gonna be an asset to the university, not workaholics.

This doesn’t have to be the classic sport and/or musical instrument hobby (although these are brilliant and you should definitely shout about them). Mention being interested in photography or blogging! I mentioned my Tumblr in my personal statement and was asked about it at the interview stage.

It is good if you can use you extra-curricular activities to demonstrate something about yourself - e.g. blogging regularly shows that you can be committed and consistent; being in the local youth council shows you are reliable and have interest in the local community. This is a good way to show your best qualities.

University choices

Applications to uni through UCAS involve making 5 choices. You can fill up to 4 options with medicine, and the remaining choice can be left empty or filled with another course. It is common for people to fill this with a biomedical degree or to leave it blank, but you can go completely off-piece if you want.

It is so so important to be strategic with your choices. This requires some reading into how universities weight different aspects of the application process (admission tests, grades, personal statement) when selecting for interview.

E.g. if you score well above average in the UCAT it would be sensible to apply to one or two (or all!) universities that weight this heavily when selecting for interview. Newcastle only looks at UCAT prior to interview, simply ranking the scores and inviting the top people for interview. Therefore, if you score well they are ‘banked’ interviews already!

UCAT (UKCAT)

The UCAT (UKCAT) is the University Clinical Aptitude Test which is required by the majority of UK medical schools (and for dentistry).

It is taken between July and October (before application) and consists of multiple choice questions completed on a computer in a registered centre (I did mine where I did my driving theory test - there are loads of places).

The name changed this year from UKCAT - but the content of the test has stayed the same. See more information here

Verbal reasoning - 44 questions in 21 minutes

Decision making - 29 questions in 31 minutes

Quantitative reasoning - 36 questions in 24 minutes

Abstract reasoning - 55 questions in 13 minutes

Situational judgement - 69 questions in 26 minutes

There is no negative marking so you may as well put something down for every question - leave nothing blank!

The results are printed as you finish the test. This is the advantage over the (October) BMAT - you have a lot of time to think about your result and where it falls in the distribution of scores generally. If you do above average it is worth applying to unis that weight UCAT strongly, and if you don’t do so well you can apply to BMAT unis or those that weight it less.

The student room always has huge chats about it - this can be helpful to you to see where you lie (ish cause obviously not everyone posts there) but can also stress you out, so be cautious with this!

Your result is only valid for the year you apply, so if you take a year out after results and re-apply, you will have to re-take the test.

It costs £65 for tests between 1 July and end of August, and £87 for tests in Sept/Oct, so better to do it earlier! This also gives you more time to think about where to apply with results in hand.

BMAT

The BMAT (BioMedical Admission Tests) is a test required by a few unis in the UK. For the full list see their website.

I have a more detailed post about the BMAT here. Where I talk about resources you can use to revise and the exam content. Essentially it is a 2-hour pen-on-paper test that consists of 2 MCQ sections and 1 essay.

BMAT can be taken in August or October. The advantage of taking the test in August is that you get to know the results prior to sending off your UCAS application, so you can (as with UCAT) be strategic about where you apply.

Oxford is the only university (UK) that only accepts the October sitting of the test - aka you will not know your result before sending in your application.

However Oxford does accept the August sitting if you apply to graduate medicine (A101).

Deadlines

Unlike most applications to university via UCAS, your deadline for application is the 15th October at 18:00 (GMT) of your final year of school (or the year before you want to begin studying)

The earlier deadline is in line with applications to Oxford, Cambridge and to veterinary science and dentistry.

If you want anyone to look over the personal statement (e.g. get your English teacher to check grammar) then get onto them early - ideally as soon as you get back to school from summer.

Also make sure that your school is fully aware that you are going for early entry, and that your reference is written well in advance so there is no last minute rush or confusion.

The last UCAT deadlines are published each year on their website. The end of registration is usually mid September and last test is early October, so make sure you’ve registered and booked a test in time!

The August BMAT test occurs right at the end of August (31st 2019), with registration closing early-mid August. The October test occurs after the UCAS deadline, with registration closing end of September/beginning of October (see website for exact dates).

#joolshallie #studyblr #medblr #medicine #applying to uni #uni #university #studying #medical school

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studyingatyork · 5 years

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Writing English lit essays at undergrad degree level (UK)

Have a focused argument. Your essay should be based around one particular idea.

That idea doesn't have to be super complex!!

The first time I received a mark of 70+ for an essay, the argument was literally "this character is intended to be likeable" - I picked up marks because I supported my argument with historical research & close analysis.

Always always always pick a topic/idea that genuinely interests you. Something about the text (book/poem/play/song/whatever you're studying) that stands out to you, personally. Something you find yourself rambling about to your coursemates/friends/family.

Once you have an idea of what you want to write about, find primary material/extracts - i.e. quotes from the text that support your argument.

Do close analysis of your extracts for literary techniques.

Each point of your essay should be based around your own close analysis of the text, integrating bits of secondary research as you go.

That will make your tutor go "hell yeah!! this student is v confident in their argument a+++"

If you've done A level English, you'll know the drill for close analysis tbh.

Look at each quote and ask yourself "why does this make me feel this way?"

Is it the connotations of a certain word? Is it the use of rhyme or repetition? Is it the use of a certain lexicon (e.g. a bunch of words that all refer to the same theme)? Etc.

Try to come up with at least 3 or 4 things to say about each extract.

At degree level you need to be aware of the historical context of this literary form/genre!!

Literary forms did not spring into existence at the dawn of time, my friends.

If you're studying Austen, you need to know that the "novel" was a newfangled thing in the early 1800s.

If you're studying Shakespeare, you need to know about the London playhouses opening in 1500s, and why plays suddenly became super popular at that time.

All of that will influence why your text was created, so it will influence your argument.

That's the kind of thing you will learn about in lectures or seminars, but there will be books and articles on literary forms as well, which you should be citing in your essay.

Which leads us into...

Research historical, social, political, biographical contexts

Basically, have a picture in your mind of where your text sits.

Some combination of the author's personal life & social issues of the era & the literary scene of the era - all led to this particular text being created!!

I know that "historical context" can seem like such a broad term & can feel overwhelming to even consider, but you're not expected to be a world class historian, just to show some awareness of these contexts.

It can help to brainstorm all those different contexts, and plan where you're going to mention them in your essay, how they might be relevant to each quote you use.

E.g. you might find a quote which you can link to the author's personal life, another which could reflect a particular social movement.

But always link it back to your argument at the end of every paragraph.

Research critical opinions on this topic/field

What have published scholars already said about this? Has someone already made a similar argument? Has someone made an argument that goes against yours? Have people studied a related topic, but not the exact thing you're interested in?

Don't be afraid to argue against a critic!! Some of my best essays were ones where I threw hands with published scholars.

But make sure you have some solid analysis to back up your argument, if you're going to do that.

In my experience you can REALLY pick up marks here, by showing that you've done your research.

Just by including a few sentences like "Mr Scholar and Dr Academic have both produced acclaimed work on the cultural significance of gnomes in Wonderland, but neither have considered the importance of fairies, which I will explore in this essay..."

There are lots of different ways to actually find this kind of secondary material (I might make another post on research if anyone cares??) but essentially Google Scholar and JSTOR are your best friends. Search those key terms!!

Other general advice

Always go to see your module tutor (who will be marking your essay!) in their office hours, while you're in the researching/planning stage.

Seriously, this isn't A level where the examiner hates you - your uni tutors really want you to enjoy your module and get a good mark.

They're nerds experts in this field, and they'll be able to give you really useful info, about things like which critics are important for you to consider.

Every point/paragraph should serve your argument. No waffle points. If you're struggling to bump up your word count, find more quotes and add more close analysis that supports your argument.

Research =/= reading until your eyes fall out

When you get a big ass book from the library for secondary research, open it already thinking: how am I going to use this to support my argument?

Sometimes that means only reading the introduction and conclusion, to get a general feel for author's general argument.

Sometimes that means only using one chapter that's relevant to you.

Sometimes that means using the index for key terms, e.g. "women" or "death" or "colonialism".

Remember, you'll probably only end up mentioning one or two things from each secondary source, in your final essay.

I cannot stress this enough: record all your research in a research document (Word, Google docs, a notebook, whatever suits you).

And note down the title, author and especially the PAGE NUMBER for every bit of research you do. Every. Single. Bit.

You'll need to quote the page numbers for all your secondary sources, in your references. You don't want to be desperately flipping through a 500-page book looking for one single quote the night before it's due.

Other blogs pls feel free to add more advice!!

#studyblr #university #english literature #english lit student #english degree #essay advice #undergrad #academia #obviously this is subjective to my experience at my own uni and other unis may mark essays differently #but this is the stuff i needed to hear in first year

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danfanciesphil · 5 years

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Hey mum, I need an advice! how did you motivate to actual learn etc. for uni? I’m in my fourth semester but i still haven’t quite figured out how to actually bring myself to do stuff

So, honestly in my undergraduate degree i was pretty unmotivated as well, but when i got to my masters degree i suddenly had a kind of epiphany. I think it’s because i took a year off in between the undergrad and the masters where i worked in a horrible posh shop/cafe in notting hill serving wanky rich people (and once lily allen! can u believe) and was utterly miserable (also going through a three-way breakup lol). Even though the masters degree cost me Soooooo much money and i literally moved countries to do it, i was utterly thrilled that i had the opportunity to escape what was honestly one of the unhappiest periods of my life and be a student again.

I dont think i appreciated student life at all the first time around, but being a student is a wonderful wonderful thing - your only job is to learn. Do you see how beautiful that is? At no other time will you be expected to be so free, at no other time will people not see you as a slacker or a mooch. You are so young, and your brain is so ready to absorb things, even if it’s tough going. Think of all the stuff out there that you don’t know yet, all the people you haven’t argued with yet in a passionate debate where both of you have delicious arsenals of info to exchange!

The reason students get so demotivated in academic institutions *imo* is because the structure of universities and the way curriculums are designed can feel restrictive and overwhelming. Essays and exams are just... honestly awful, there’s no way around that, i have so many problems with academia in general because what?? is the point?? in testing students in these dated formats?

But try to think of it a different way: you are there to discover your PASSION. You are there not to write predictable essays about subjects professors teach over and over again. You are there to find what it is that enthralls you, that motivates you, that gets you excited enough that you’ll ramble to your friends and write a huge fuck off thesis about it no problem. Keep going to lectures and seminars, keep exploring through the mounds of books and papers they give you. Look for the subjects that make you want to read more, to watch more, to research more and PURSUE THEM. That’s what education should be. it’s supposed to be something you want, not something you endure.

i hope any of this helps haha, i know it’s rambly.

#ellen shh #ellen gives advice #education #university #anon #ellen answers

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the-studying-coffee-addict · 5 years

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Hello, students of all ages! Since I graduated, I knew that I wanted to share advice with you guys and it will cover from studying to life and everything in between. So here it is, enjoy!

School:

Figure out what school works for you and your life: This is probably the first thing I normally tell people. Researching the schools that you want to go help narrow down your choices. Make sure that reading details carefully is also important for full understanding. There may be schools that offer specific majors that others may not, so make sure that there’s a full understanding of what the schools offer before making a decision.

Find out your major (and it’s okay to change it later): Knowing of what to major in can be difficult for people to narrow down. There are some people that double major in their college career. If you’re unsure of what to major in, try thinking of what career field you want to be in and find the major that is required. Remember, you choose how you live your life, even choosing your major.

Know what expectations are for the classes you’re taking: Not every professor will be laid back or chill. The work can be difficult and hard to understand. Make sure that on syllabus day you are focused and take notes on the syllabus for later use. As long as you are trying in the class and talking to the professor, you should be fine. Getting a tutor does not make you any less than you are now (I had to have a tutor for my last quarter to help with my French. Was it degrading? No, not one bit. Did it help? Yes.) Talk to some people you may have the class with, join or create a study group. Everyone is in the class with the same goal: to learn.

Find a group, club, or organization to join: This one was a bit hesitant for me because being an introverted person (well, extroverted introvert), it took me until my junior year of college to join something I was passionate in doing. (I’m not going to lie, I didn’t know specifically what I wanted to do until late sophomore year into junior year specifically anyway). I found an organization, Her Campus, that helped me do what I love: writing/editing and helped me learn the skills I needed to learn. I knew that I wanted to work in magazines by the time of me finding HC and when it was brought to Tech (Louisiana Tech University), I knew I had to do it. Since then, I got the opportunity to make my work published through an official online blog that can be seen nationally and internationally, work with the best girl gang on campus, and be able to see what I could create.

Find different study tactics to help you: Ever since I created this studyblr, I found different study tactics: from printables to schedules and everything in between. My go-to for studying were printables. I used ones from @theorganisedstudent ‘s essay planner (I swear by these because I majored in English and used these for every paper I wrote), weekly planner (to help with planning out commuting times, working, and study schedule around class times). I used @studyquill ‘s To-Do List, I constantly used this to make sure I kept track of all assignments and due dates and everything that popped up like random assignments to thought like “ extra credit assignment”. @emmastudies has a lot of wallpapers (which are adorable and amazing) I use those 100 percent of the time. The calendars are chic and available as well, I use the yearly ones. I see in the Studyblr community that people use the bujo templates for journaling, calendars, lists, etc. I didn’t have the skillset, time/patience to try it, but I may over the summer to see how it can turn out. I worked at a ratio of studying for 45 minutes and taking a break for 15 minutes. This helped me stay focused and know when to take a break without thinking about stopping. Remember that everyone is different and use what works for YOU.

Take classes that you’re interested in: When you take classes that are interested in helps make learning fun. Now, there are required classes that are not in your interests and that happens. Try to find something that makes the course interesting. I would watch documentaries for history classes and watch videos (typically short Youtube videos) for psychology. This also helped me with troubling subjects as well.

ALWAYS be prepared: the most important thing I did at the beginning of the quarter I would gather all the info I was giving off the syllabi and make a checklist. My checklist would have “electronics (computer, phone, maybe iPad) and chargers, planner, books, homework assignments, snacks/lunch, and headphones”. I brought these items with me every time I went to school. Now I wasn’t perfect, I still forgot things and I tried to make sure if I had extra chargers or headphones, I put them in a bag or specific holder (similar to this holder). For paperwork of any kind, I kept them in folders of some sort and kept them where I could find them. When I was a freshman, I didn’t receive a curriculum sheet (the paper that had the class requirements) for my major (this was before I transferred) until the last semester before transferring. Since then, I’ve always kept a copy of one for myself and had it with me when I would go to advising for classes. It helped me keep track of what classes I needed to take and where I was at in my schooling. Review notes the night before, even if it’s right before you go to bed. Some professors require that you do the assignments before you get to class and it happens. Merge both previous notes and upcoming assignments in the same time frame to help make sure that you remember the last class’ lesson plus know about the new lesson. Try to plan ahead as best as you can in every way you can. Remember: not everything goes as planned, and there are more letters in the alphabet :)

Find a friend or two in each class: a trend at my university was making a GroupMe chat (or a chat of some kind) for classes in case we needed information. I’ve made a few friends in college and I even made friends with people internationally. Don’t stress over this factor cause sometimes it just happens. If you want to start a friendship or know someone, ask them about something in the class or about their major. This is a common icebreaker for college students. I also made friends with my professors because they were understanding, amazing, and open to helping students out.

Make a studying playlist: the best way to study is with classical/instrumental music because it keeps you focused and it won’t cause distractions. You can find playlists on Youtube, Spotify, and Pandora. Even create one for yourself. Music like soundtrack scores can also help

Look for internships and jobs ASAP: always be on the lookout for jobs, internships, even ask around to job shadow to see if you would like the career path. I found internships and I job shadowed while I was in school and it helped out tremendously. I did mine through Her Campus here.

Find your favorite spots on and off campus: there will be days when you’re going to be studying. Sometimes, being cooped up in your room doesn’t help you focus. Find a place that you’re comfortable being in: a coffee shop (mine was off campus), a student center, a place outside, anywhere where you can enjoy your surroundings and help you study. This can also be a sort of “time out” spot as well. If you have two places you like to be in, you can pick one to be a study spot and the other can be a wind-down spot.

Be realistic with yourself: know yourself, know the workload and responsibilities that are at task. If you can’t handle it, find ways to break it down and handle it. If it gets overwhelming, reevaluate yourself and your situation. College is NOT easy, it will test you and push you to become better- that’s the point.

Change is not always a bad thing: change can be scary and it can either push you to be better or scare you. Pick your decision on if the change will scare you or let it push you.

Know everything you sign up for: Financial aid, work-study, any contracts, etc. Know everything about anything that you sign up for because you want full awareness of the situation. You don’t want to be in a situation where you don’t get what you need or end up owing more than what you bargained for.

Keep receipts of EVERYTHING: when I got my first debit card, I was told to keep my receipts for bookkeeping. If there were a situation where I would need to return something, you would have the receipt. I use this method for everything in my life from keeping my bank statements in a binder to keeping up with any large payments like tuition payments. It helped me keep up with everything I needed to. If you feel like you should have a copy of something, ask for one. Never doubt your gut.

Look for deals on textbooks: there’s always somewhere where textbooks are cheaper. I used the school’s bookstore, Chegg, and Thriftbooks- these were all lifesavers.

Life:

It will not always be perfect: when I graduated from high school, I pictured that I would immediately jump into university like people would do in movies and books. Despite my efforts (and an endless amount of money and time in tutoring), I found myself not going into university and was able to go to community college (side note: there is nothing wrong with community college. If you are in this predicament, you are doing amazing and there is no shame in that). One: even though I was upset that I couldn’t make it how I imagined, I made a backup plan. My plan was to go to c.c. (community college) and then move up to uni (university). Two: I also found out that transferring was possible while in c.c. Even though it’s been four years later, I earned my Bachelor’s Degree and I don’t regret it.

Your situation may change: After my sophomore year, I made the decision to commute because it became expensive for me to live at uni. This may happen to you and that’s okay. I don’t think that moving back home was a bad choice. It did come with some up and downs like living an hour away from uni, spending more money on my car and its maintenance (plus gas), saving money for tuition, and being closer to family. Nothing is wrong with moving back home or even deciding to stay home during uni days. Don’t make matters worse for yourself for any reason.

Have fun, I mean it: college isn’t spending 24/7 on studying and going to classes (yes, please go to class- don’t skip class to have fun). You’re allowed to have fun. I managed my fun. I know myself enough to schedule my fun (and I had understanding friends that knew I took my studying seriously). There were some days where I would have no classes and would decide to use that time to work on assignments, papers, etc so that I could relax later. Or some weekends I would plan not to do anything (especially on Sundays- I call “Sunday Bumdays”) and take the day to unwind, work on self-care, explore, etc. If you can afford for one day of total nothingness, great. If not, try to attempt at a half-day. If you don’t have fun within your journey, it will look back on with either regret or disappointment.

Save money (and be strict about it): every penny matters. Save money for food, gas/ transportation, tuition/books, emergency savings, etc. There are going to be times where you will need money, even if it’s to grab lunch or go grocery shopping. Always have money in the bank and in your pocket. Find odd jobs to do or find a job if you need money. Most college students work part-time and go to school full-time. Don’t forget to treat yourself, and keep in mind to manage it so it doesn’t become a burden.

Learn things outside of the classroom: learn things about your campus, people, the town you’re in, everything. Learning about things around you can help make you feel comfortable, even if you live away from the campus. It’ll help appreciate the environment around you and give you a better experience.

Find a healthy hobby to do: I know college can be/will be exhausting. There is a solution to make sure that there is a healthy outlet for stress relief. Healthy hobbies such as exercise, photography, and exploring new things (crafting classes, movie nights, etc) can help relieve burn out and stress. Personally, I made this studyblr, I free wrote (writing with no agenda/reason), went to the gym, and walked around campus during sunset. I also wrote a short article on it here.

Make a routine: I made a routine to help keep myself busy, know what was going on for the day and to be prepared. The routine would vary for the days depending on my schedules for work and school.

If you need extra help, ask: there is nothing wrong with asking for help. Ask for it and don’t be afraid to.

Take care of your body in ALL forms: mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, etc. From skincare to getting check-ups. All of it matters and your body and mind are important.

Make a resume and keep up with it: you will learn how to write a resume and clean it to help get you jobs and track your experiences and skills. Don’t slack on it because it is an important tool you will need.

Work:

Don’t overwhelm yourself: work and school can be intimidating, especially when you’re involved with extracurriculars. Get a planner and make a plan for yourself. Remember: make time for yourself too.

Quirky things/ Etiquette:

thank you cards- I sent thank you cards to a bunch of people for different reasons. Like teachers- for teaching me things that helped me graduate, organizations that came to our booth for our organization that we hosted this year, people that gave me things like presents/ advice, and any job shadow/ internships- because it’s always nice to thank people that helped you along the way.

find things that are productive that doesn’t involve studying- you’ll go crazy without it and here.

organize your workspace- tips here

find stationary you love- it makes studying enjoyable even the worst subjects

say your “please”s and “thank you”s- I promise, it will go a long way. Even if you don’t use them, it can help a bad experience turn into a good one

don’t be afraid to think outside of the box- I’m serious, not everyone is traditional and that’s okay. Be comfortable with your life.

know the rules- yes there will be rules and weird ones that you will need to know/follow. There will also be protocols and policies to keep up with as well for things like on-campus living, rules of clubs/organizations, etc. Read them thoroughly.

don’t be rude- just don’t.

make business cards- it’ll make it easier for you in the long run and it’ll help you network

branch out- look for new things to get involved in like poem slams, video game battle meetups, yoga classes, things like that to help expand your taste and experiences.

College will be different for everyone. It can be a different journey that is taken and it can make all the difference. Make it the best years for you.

#college tips #college advice #studyblr #collegeblr #student help #thestudyingcoffeeaddict #collegelifehacks #lifehacks #college #tips and advice

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biopsychs · 6 years

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What I Learned From University (2nd Year)

See what I learned in first year here

Adjust how you study → I have a different study method for each class. Even if the content is similar to another class or you’ve had the prof before, you have to personalize your learning.

You can skip class sometimes → My introductory microbiology class was the worst class I’ve ever taken and I love microbiology. The prof sucked and I found I could just catch up on notes on the bus and have extra time to sleep in. I rarely skip class but I realized my time was much better spent working on other things. Only skip classes if catching up on notes is more efficient/a better use of your time than actually going to lectures. Also, don’t be afraid to take a day off (when you can) if your mental or physical health is suffering.

Group projects suck → I knew this already but nothing could have prepared me for what I had to deal with in my one semester long research methods class. I wish I had talked to my TA or prof earlier to explain what was going on and how I could fix it. (Side note: Use Google docs for group projects!)

Mentoring programs are a great thing to be involved in → I got involved with a mentoring program for women in stem at my university and it has been such a valuable experience! I have access and connections to upper year students and women working in academia and industry who are there to provide help and guidance. My only regret is that I was too timid to ask for help at the start -- take advantage of the opportunities you have!

Get larger projects like reports and essays done as soon as you get them → My organic chemistry lab reports always took so long to write so I would delay working on them. However, I eventually got into a routine of finishing my lab report (or at least 95% of my report) on weekends (my labs were on Fridays) and it made my life so much easier! Just get it done and you won’t have the looming stress of a big project or report hanging over you.

Go to social events on and off campus → You can be social in so many different ways at university! Find something you’re comfortable with or go just outside your comfort zone. I went to a pizza party for psych majors and it was chill. I also went to a pubcrawl and it was so much fun. If you’re hesitant, drag a friend along the first time but make sure you talk to new people!

Apply for summer jobs early → Lots of good summer jobs for university students are posted early! I check my university’s job board and also look for jobs that are meant for students (where I live the government will provide funding for summer students to certain organizations). Make sure you send in your applications in as soon as possible too! Even if the deadline to apply is in two weeks, some places will get in touch with applicants (and could potentially hire someone) before that deadline. Find out if your uni has a career advising office (or something like that) and check it out, if you need help with resumes, cover letters, interviews, etc.

Leave your options open → If you’re unsure about your major or career path, leave your options open as much as you can! Use the time you have now to explore what you really like. Last year I made the decision to do a double major in biology and psychology, because I wanted to go to med school but also wanted to leave the option of research (in bio or psych) open. Now, I’ve decided to major in psych and minor in bio, with the intent to pursue clinical psychology. I took classes and got research experience that helped me make an informed decision about what I really like and want to do.

Get involved in research and use your connections → Get research experience as early as possible. This will help you figure out if you actually want to pursue research or not, and will be so helpful with applications if you end in a position where you’re doing your own research! I have found it much easier to get involved with research by having connections (like talking to a prof, grad student, or upper year undergrad student who is already involved with a lab) rather than sending out cold emails to profs and hoping they’ll reply. If you are sending an email to a prof/lab you don’t have any connections to, make sure your personalize it -- mention any prior experience you have and why you’re interested in that lab specifically.

Check your email constantly → As a general rule, you can never check your email too much. Make an effort to reply to emails as soon as you get them, because otherwise you might forget about them. In general, reply to emails within 24 hours anyways.

Take a summer class → I took a summer class on the psychology of motivation and it was totally worth it. I knew I would have to take a summer class at one point and I knew I would prefer to do it earlier in my degree (taking a summer class in my last year does not sound like fun). It was refreshing to see how well I could do when one class was my only priority and I was able to learn/retain the content so much better. It was also nice that I was able to take an upper level course (my previous psych courses had been only 1st or 2nd year level) by itself so I could get used to the increased demands. One thing to note is that summer classes go by really quickly (in my case 3 lectures were equivalent to 3 weeks of classes) so make sure you’re keeping up with the material.

Find your optimal level of stress → One thing I learned in my motivation class is that we all have an optimal level of stress. Think of it as an inverted U shape, with performance on the y axis and stress on the x axis. The highest point, the top of the U, is your optimal level of stress, where stress is helping you perform to the best of your ability. If you move past that point (either less stress or more stress) your performance is going to decrease. If your stress levels are high and anxiety-causing your performance is going to suffer. I found my optimal level of stress when I was studying for my first motivation midterm -- I was cramming the night before but because I had no other pressing responsibilities (like 4 other classes) I was able to feel stressed without feeling panic or test anxiety also. Find your optimal level of stress and see how well you perform. Remember that feeling when your stress levels are rising so you have a baseline to get back to.

Don’t get stuck as “premed” → Being premed is completely okay but don’t close yourself off from other options. I know so many people who are premeds and are also biochemistry majors. Some of these people don’t even like biochemistry but stick with it because they think it will make their application look better. Please study something you’re actually interested in. Med school is a great option but just make sure you have a plan B (and a degree that is going to suit this plan B). I know someone who graduated with their biochemistry degree and regretted it -- by the end of their degree, their plan was no longer med school and they wished they had done a general biology degree, w classes they liked, while taking a few biochem classes they liked. I used to consider myself premed but I realized clinical psychology is a much better fit for what I actually like/am good at. Just make sure you want to be a doctor for the right reasons is all I’m saying.

Morning classes are actually kind of okay → Everyone talks about how bad morning classes are, but I actually prefer them. I have a hard time paying attention in later classes and it’s really nice to have all my classes done by mid-day. Just make sure you keep a regular sleep schedule (i.e. try to go to bed/ wake up at reasonably early times so your body can recover better on the nights where you get less sleep)

Always come prepared → This applies for so many things. Bring a snack, don’t forget your charger, do your readings. You’re never going to regret being prepared but you may regret not being prepared.

Be ready to register for classes → Know your time and date to register for classes and be ready to click register right at that time! I always make multiple schedules b/c often the lab times or classes I want to take are full. If a class is full, make sure you know what to do. Register on the waitlist. If there isn’t a waitlist, find out who you need to talk to (usually the prof or department head). Check back a few times a week to see if spots open up in classes, because a lot of people change their schedule. Don’t wait to talk to an academic advisor if you’re not sure which classes to take or have any concerns.

Quizlet is a blessing → Quizlet is an app/website that lets you make flashcards and view other people’s flashcard sets. Study flashcards while you’re waiting in line for coffee or on the bus. You may also be able to find flashcards from people who took the same class as you -- use those! If you make your own flashcards be a nice person and share them with your friends :)

A bad grade is not the end of the world → In one class I got 35% on my first midterm and never managed to get a midterm grade higher than 68%. I was absolutely destroyed when I saw that mark on my first midterm and was ready to give up. Please don’t give up! I talked to my prof and was able to have my other midterms weighted more and I used my lab reports to bring my mark up. If you show your profs you’re working hard they’ll do what they can to help you out. It’s really easy to feel like your hard work is not making a difference, especially if you’re continually not getting the results you want -- this doesn’t mean you should stop working hard, it just means you may have to study differently, review material daily, and ask for help! If you fail you need to remember that you will have to work harder -- you have to keep up with the new material and relearn the old material. I wasn’t overly happy when I saw my final grade in the aforementioned class but, when I compared it to my first midterm and my feelings of utter confusion, I was satisfied with my grade because it showed my progress and improvement (and I also used it to motivate me to never let it happen again).

Realize that everyone is at university for different reasons → Some people have big goals, some people are still figuring it out, and some people just want to get their degree as soon as possible. There’s nothing wrong with being any of the above, just don’t expect everyone to have the same goals as you.

Know the deadlines for dropping courses → Even if you don’t think you’ll be dropping or changing any courses, write the dates down in your planner. My friend waited a few days too long to drop a math class that turned out to be extremely difficult and, even though she passed it in the end, she was stressed out all semester and her performance in other classes suffered as a result.

You’ll always be meeting new people and making friends → I lived off campus first year and felt like I had missed my chance to make friends. I shouldn’t have worried so much. Second year was much better in that there were a lot more familiar faces in my classes and I got to know other people much better through smaller classes and labs! Other people are always happy to make friends so just take the first step by starting a conversation :)

You can’t give 100% all the time → Some of the best advice that I was given this year was that you can’t give 100% all the time. You only have so much time and energy (mental and physical) you can give. For some tasks, the outcome from 70% effort and 100% effort may not be too different. Figure out what tasks those are so that you have enough energy to give 100% when you really need it.

#studyblr #university #studyquill #elkstudies #intellectys #etudiance #studyplants #studybuzz #briellestudies #mine

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downn-in-flames · 5 years

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like a deer in headlights

One short little road trip, that's all it is.

One short little eight hour road trip in a tiny car with the girl he's been in love with since his first year of uni. Nothing to worry about, really.

read it on: hpft | ao3 | ffnet

One short little road trip, that's all it is.

One short little eight hour road trip in a tiny car with the girl he's been in love with since his first year of uni. Nothing to worry about, really.

It was her idea, actually. James had been all set to just buy a plane ticket from London to Edinburgh - why Sirius and Remus insisted on a "destination" wedding in the same city they'd all attended school in is beyond him, but that's beside the point - and before he'd had the chance to book a flight, Lily had texted him, proposing the idea of driving up there together.

It'd be fun, she'd said. We haven't seen each other in ages and it'll be a nice way to catch up.

Apparently, her idea of 'catching up' involves spending eight uninterrupted hours alone with each other.

James can count on one hand the number of times they've hung out as just the two of them - all of them in uni, and none of them for anywhere near this much time.

He's definitely more than a little freaked out about it, which is, quite frankly, ridiculous if he thinks about it rationally. He's not exactly trying to make a good first impression or anything (he'd botched that one well and good six years ago) and they spent quite a lot of time together at uni, even if they were almost always with Sirius and Remus and Peter. This shouldn't be all that different.

But James also knows that he's got a fantastic tendency to make an idiot out of himself - something he hoped he'd grow out of once he hit his twenties but never quite did - and a confined space with just him and a girl he's fancied for years seems like a foolproof recipe for that idiocy to make a reappearance.

He's probably prepared for this trip a little... too well. His car is immaculate (scarily so, really, what kind of psychopath doesn't have anything in their centre console?), there are snacks and water in the backseat for the both of them, and he's got a playlist full of artists Lily loved in uni (that he not-so-secretly enjoyed as well) at the ready.

So as he parks in front of the address she'd texted to him last week and pulls his phone out to shoot her a quick text that he's here, he continues giving himself a mental pep talk to prepare for the hours ahead.

Honestly, he's going to be fine. Yeah, she's wonderful and brilliant and he spent the better part of three years making a fool of himself in front of her, but he's over that, for the most part. She's just a girl he liked in uni, but they've grown apart since then and surely she's not as -

The front door of her building opens, and whatever rationalisation had been going through James' mind comes to a stuttering halt. He's not sure if he'd just forgotten what she looked like or if she'd somehow gotten more gorgeous since they graduated, but… fuck.

Her auburn hair, which once fell to her waist in loose waves, has been chopped to shoulder-length, and she's got it in that same half-up, half-down style she wore so often at school. She's wearing a shirt that looks like it's from last year's Camden Pub Crawl tucked into high-waisted jean shorts, fully showing off her long, freckled legs.

And there's just something about the way that she carries herself, shoulders back and eyes bright, that projects a level of confidence he doesn't quite think she had a few years ago.

It has his heart doing all sorts of pathetic things all over again.

Maybe he's not actually over her.

She's got a light purple duffel bag thrown over her shoulder and a garment bag on her arm, and James remembers at the last possible minute that he needs to open the boot of his car for her to put her stuff in.

With literally anyone else, he'd get out of the car and help them load their bags - his mother would be appalled if she knew that he wasn't practising the 'gentlemanly manners' she'd instilled into him from the day he was born - but he knows Lily, and he knows that she'll insist on doing it herself anyways.

She's always had a massive independent streak - coupled with a distaste for anything remotely resembling a patriarchal norm - and it's one of the many (many) things he likes about her.

When she opens the passenger door, she's got a cheeky sort of smile that, were his heart not already hammering out a frantic rhythm in his chest, would definitely send his pulse skyrocketing.

Goddammit, she's so pretty.

"You didn't even offer to load my bag for me," she observes as she slides into the seat across from him. "What on earth would Euphemia say about that?"

"Euphemia probably still remembers the last time I tried that and you immediately smacked my hands away," he retorts, a smirk growing on his face to match her own, even though he's already been thinking about the fact that his mum would, in fact, give him a hard time for it.

"She did tell me later that she'd thought it was funny to see you put in your place like that," Lily muses as she puts her seatbelt on.

His mum had indeed gotten quite a laugh out of it, James recalls. She, Remus, and Peter had come to visit him and Sirius for a week in the summer after their first year, and James' mum had immediately become positively enamoured with both Lily and Remus, and proceeded to spend the remainder of the summer telling both James and Sirius respectively how wonderful they both were, in a not-so-subtle 'you would be perfect together and I want them as my child-in-law' sort of way.

Well, she'd gotten her wish with Sirius, at least.

He realises he's been quiet for far too long, and she's still grinning at him and probably expecting him to say something back to her. He runs his fingers through his hair - a nervous habit of his that he's never really been able to break - and asks, almost on autopilot, "Alright, Evans?"

She laughs at that, no doubt remembering the countless times he'd greeted her that exact way in school. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?" And after a brief pause, "You look good."

He's almost positive he misheard her at first, but the faint pink spreading across her cheeks - at least, he doesn't think he's imagining it - is proof that he heard her right.

"Er, you too," he manages, stumbling over his words and almost immediately mentally berating himself for it. How the hell is he so smooth sometimes and an absolute fucking disaster at others?

If she catches on to his awkwardness though, she doesn't show it. "How's work? Are you still at Sleekeazy's?"

When he'd graduated uni, with a degree in English Literature of all things that he had no idea how to apply in the real world, he'd panicked and taken the first job available to him - which just so happened to be in the marketing department of his dad's massive haircare company.

It turned out he kind of enjoyed the marketing aspect, but working for a hair company was… not his thing, to say the least.

"Nah, I left that about a year and a half ago," he tells her. "Now I'm working as a deputy communications director for a small nonprofit."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," he answers, finally shifting the car into gear so that they can start off on this eight-hour journey of theirs. "It's all about providing resources for homeless LGBTQ youth - I don't know if you've ever seen Albus Dumbledore in a news article or anything, but it's his organisation."

"Wait, oh my god, I read his book last year!" Lily says, almost excitedly. "He's incredible, and the work he's doing for those kids is awesome."

"Yeah, he's a pretty solid guy," he confirms. "I really like it - I feel like I'm actually doing something good in the world, you know? And I just - god, so many of those kids remind me of Sirius as a teenager, except without anywhere to go when their parents kicked them out."

He's still not over the way Sirius was treated as a teenager, the way he'd arrived at the Potter's doorstep one January night during sixth form, shivering from the cold and sporting a massive bruise along the side of his face. He's pretty positive that, if he ever comes across any of Sirius' piece-of-shit homophobic family members ever again, he's not going to be able to fight back the urge to punch them right in the jaw, even though he knows that wouldn't accomplish anything.

But this… doing what he does now, it feels like accomplishing something.

"Hm, I'm surprised Remus never said anything about you changing jobs whenever you came up in conversation," Lily muses.

… They talk about him? Lily talks about him?

"I dunno," he says, flipping his turn signal on to turn left on Hendon. "Are you still working as a researcher for that ecological reserve?"

He already knows the answer is 'yes' - he'd panicked and called Remus almost immediately after Lily had proposed this whole road trip thing, and asked him for basically everything he knew about Lily since graduation - but he figures he'll ask the question anyways. Lily doesn't have to know that he's been a bit of a nervous wreck about this road trip, after all.

"I am," she answers cheerfully. "Still spending most of my day hanging out with frogs instead of humans."

"Well, good to know at least one of us actually found a good way to apply our degree," he jokes.

"Please," she replies, and from the tone of her voice alone, James can tell that she's both smiling and looking at him reproachfully all at once. "Don't tell me you don't still throw random literary references into everyday conversation."

He wracks his brain for an appropriate one to say in response, and goes with the first thing that comes to mind. " 'A word is dead when it is said, some say. I say it just begins to live that day.' "

She laughs brightly. "Some things never change." She pauses for a moment, then adds, "Fuck, what's that from? I feel like I should know it, but…"

"Dickinson." he answers, filling in the gap left by her silence.

"Oh, didn't you write a whole essay on how she was probably a lesbian at one point?" she asks.

"No," James defends immediately, immediately thinking back to the incident she's referring to. "Sirius used find and replace to replace every single instance of the word 'literary' with 'lesbian' in one of my final essays that term, and I only noticed ten minutes before I was set to turn it in."

"You should've kept it that way," she tells him. "I feel like most literature tutors would eat that shit right up."

James shrugs. "Honestly, you're probably right."

They fall into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, but it quickly becomes a bit more uncomfortable when it's just the hum of the car's engine and the sounds of the city around them.

"Do you have any music?" Lily asks finally.

He honestly can't believe he'd somehow forgotten about the playlist entirely - there'd just been something about talking to her, catching up and immediately feeling like almost no time had passed at all, that had completely wiped his mind of everything else. "Oh. Yeah," he replies, grabbing his phone out of the cupholder and unlocking it. "There's a road trip playlist on my Spotify - just turn that on."

"You have a whole road trip playlist?" she asks, taking the phone from him and navigating to his Spotify app. "Oh god, this is brilliant."

She hits play, and is already singing along on the first note. "I promise that you'll never find another like me!"

And he finds himself thinking that no, he definitely won't.

***

They're less than an hour out of the city, driving along the M1, when James decides to make their first stop of the day.

"I don't know about you," James says to Lily, who's been alternating between singing along to the music playing through the speakers and exchanging stories about their lives since graduation, "but I desperately need some coffee right about now and there's a Costa coming up."

"Still addicted to caffeine, are we?" she teases.

"Not as bad as I was in uni," he replies. "I don't get four espresso shots in my lattes anymore, at the very least."

"Probably for the best," she agrees.

"Do you still only drink those Belgian Chocolate Frostinos in the summer?" he asks, remembering just how many times he and Sirius had ribbed her for her 'wimpy' taste in coffee beverages.

"Don't say that with such a tone of disdain," she shoots back. "They're basically a coffee milkshake - how could you not like that? But also, I can't believe you still remember my coffee order."

He's not sure he could forget anything about her - even something as simple as her (terrible) coffee order - even if he tried. But he tries to play it off without acknowledging just how many little details about her that he's got memorised. "Your shit taste in coffee is pretty hard to forget."

"Those are fighting words, James Potter," she replies playfully. "And here I was about to offer to pay for your coffee since you're the one driving - but now you've come for Frostinos in a way I can't accept."

"They're not bad," he retorts. "They're just a weak drink."

"Ah right, because you're the expert on strong drinks. It's not like you were too scared to shoot tequila until our third year or anything like that."

He doesn't point out that he still hates shooting tequila to this day, and will only do it when he's already sufficiently plastered as to not remember his distaste for them. "Yeah, well, if you recall correctly, there was one night our first year where I was the only one who didn't do three rounds of tequila shots, and coincidentally was also the only one who didn't end up puking in the bushes in George Square Gardens."

"And you missed an important rite of passage in that moment," she informs him seriously, just as they're pulling into the Costa Coffee.

"Somehow, I don't feel all that deprived," he replies, parking and turning the car off.

She laughs. "Well, you can't miss what you've never had."

They both get out of the car, falling into step on their way into the café. And he's kind of surprised, in that moment, to realise just how easy all of this has been. The way they've fallen into conversation and good-natured teasing so easily makes it seem like it's only been hours since they last saw one another, not years. Being with her is almost effortless - sans the few times she's nearly made him forget how to breathe - and he's…

Fuck, he's not even a little bit over her.

One hour in a car is apparently all he needed to go right back to being head over heels for her, which is only slightly alarming; at this rate, he'll probably be ready to propose marriage by the time they get to Edinburgh in seven more hours.

Which is nothing short of ridiculous - honestly, he doesn't even know if she's seeing someone, for heaven's sake. Remus had said she wasn't, but those things can change at the drop of a hat, and Lily's an absolute fucking catch, so he really wouldn't be even a little surprised if she's somehow in a committed relationship that Remus doesn't know about.

"Okay, but seriously," Lily says, looking up at him, "what do you want to drink? It's my treat."

"You don't have to," he answers automatically.

"You're literally sitting behind the wheel of a car for eight hours while I fuck around on my phone because we both know I hate driving - let me buy you a damn coffee, Potter."

He doesn't actually want to fight her on this - and she'd win anyways - so he surrenders pretty easily. "Fine - I'll have a flat white."

They get their drinks - James' in a tiny cup and Lily's in a much larger one complete with whipped cream and chocolate syrup - and set out on the road again.

The drive itself is pretty nondescript - they're just driving down the same freeway for an absurdly long amount of time - so they have to come up with other things to pass the time. At one point, Lily just starts scrolling through a list of Shakespeare quotes to see if James can give the play they came from - he only misses like two or three, and one of those was from Titus Andronicus, and he fucking hates that play so he feels like that one's an acceptable miss.

And then somehow, they end up in a super nostalgic conversation of some of their most notable shared moments at university.

"Do you remember the day we met?"

If James could bang his head against the steering wheel without putting both him and Lily in serious danger, he would. "Unfortunately."

Then he quickly corrects himself, lest she somehow interpret that the wrong way. "Not because of meeting you - just because of the fact that I made a total arse of myself."

"Yeah, I was pretty convinced I was going to hate you," she replies, amused. "And I'm pretty sure I told Remus that multiple times the first time the two of us went over to hang out with you and Sirius."

"Well, I fucking deserved it."

He'd been a first year, in a starting position on the football team and far too hyped up by the university population than any eighteen-year-old ever should be, and that newfound popularity had completely gone to his head. He'd thought he was on top of the world, that he could get anything he wanted, anyone he wanted.

It had been some freshers party that he and Sirius had pregamed just a little too much, and by the time they'd shown up to the actual event, James felt fucking invincible.

"You must've tried to hit on me… what, five separate times? All worse pick-up lines than the ones before?"

He groans. "Yes, I was a drunk asshole who thought you were the prettiest girl in the room and that as a result we were obviously a match made in heaven. I clearly made some pretty shitty decisions that night."

"So who was the prettiest girl in the room that night then?"

James falters, and it's a good thing the car's set on cruise because his foot might've just fallen off the gas pedal otherwise. "What?"

"You said you made some pretty shitty decisions that night, one of which was that I was the prettiest girl in the room," she answers, sounding nonchalant in a way that James thinks might be forced. "If it wasn't me, who was it, in your much-more-sober-now opinion?"

What the fuck kind of question is that?

He grapples with what she's just asked for a moment - is she somehow trying to gauge who he thinks is the fittest bird they went to school with? And why does she even care about that? And how on earth is he meant to answer this in a way that doesn't end with her getting upset with him?

Eventually, he just decides to go for honesty, but he keeps his eyes steadfastly on the road ahead of him when he answers. "Actually, that was perhaps the only non-shitty decision I made that night. You were easily the prettiest girl there - in both my drunk and sober opinions."

It's silent between the two of them for a few moments. "Oh."

And then a second later, "So you're not seeing Emmeline Vance?"

That might be an even weirder question than the last one. Emmeline had been on the women's football team, and they'd been close, but his feelings towards her have never been anything even remotely more than friendly. "No," he tells her immediately. "Where'd you get that idea from?"

"I… I don't know," she replies, and she sounds almost… nervous? "You posted a picture with her on Instagram a few weeks ago and I just… I don't know, I just thought maybe - "

"We were just catching up over dinner," he explains. "We're definitely not, you know, anything close to… that."

"Oh. That's… good, I guess."

That's good? Honestly, how the fresh hell is he meant to interpret that?

For some reason, the thing that comes out of his mouth next isn't a request for an explanation. Instead, it's a stilted "Are you? You know, seeing anyone?"

"I'm not."

"I… good to know."

Fuck, for all that James had been thinking that they were so good at not being awkward just an hour or so ago, they're sure being whole ass disasters right now. And honestly, 'good to know'? Were they not just talking about the time he'd drunkenly hit on her despite her not showing any interest? And his response to finding out that she's single is to say something that… practically implies he plans on using that information later?

Foot, meet mouth.

They settle into a slightly uncomfortable silence, and it's just John Mayer coming through the speakers.

I want to know the real thing about you, so I can see you in a new light…

***

The tension doesn't last much longer, because James' stomach starts growling and it becomes apparent that they'll need to stop for lunch soon.

"Do you want me to look up some good places to stop?" Lily asks, fishing her phone out of her bag.

"Yeah, that'd be good."

She sits back up in her seat. "Oh fuck, mine's dead - I completely forgot to charge it last night. Can I use yours instead?"

"Go for it," he replies. He unlocks the phone for her and hands it over, letting her find some random little sandwich place near Leicester that looks decent.

They decide to sit and eat instead of trying to eat on the road, and sitting across from her in a little two-person booth unexpectedly feels very much like they're on a date.

He feels his hands start to get clammy as they sit down with their food - despite the fact that his brain knows full well this isn't anything resembling a date and that they're just eating here together out of necessity and a need to stretch their limbs, he still can't help but feel something between them - some sort of energy that he can't quite put his finger on - that makes this seem like perhaps there's more to it.

But he's definitely just thinking too far into things. Lily's shown absolutely no signs of getting a similar vibe from, happily chatting with him as she eats.

The topic of Sirius and Remus suddenly comes up - fitting, really, as it's their wedding that they're headed to at the moment.

"How does it feel, knowing that your two closest friends are going to be getting married this time tomorrow?"

James just shrugs. "Honestly, with the way they act, it's basically like they've been married for a while. I just want the actual ceremony part over with so that mum can stop frantically texting me about it every five minutes."

"Oh yeah, I saw that," she tells him. "You had a few messages come in from her when I was changing songs."

James takes that moment to thank his lucky stars that his mum doesn't know he's driving up to the wedding with Lily; otherwise, he's sure she would've texted him a million times today about her, which would've been… awkward to explain away, at the very least.

"None of it was all that important though - she just likes having someone to report everything back to, and apparently that's my job in this case."

"Somehow, I doubt she'd be pleased to know you were calling her texts 'unimportant'," she teases, taking a sip of her drink.

"And you better not tell her," he warns, but he can't even keep the grin off his face as he does so.

"Fine, I'll keep quiet, if only to save your head," she replies after a moment of thought.

Then she changes the subject entirely. "But man, I'm thrilled for Sirius and Remus. Meeting the love of your life in the first month of uni is basically the dream, isn't it?"

Well yes, James wants to reply, but only when they also feel the same way.

But he doesn't voice anything even remotely close to that - they've only just gotten over their last bout of awkwardness, and he'd quite like to avoid any more of those if he can help it.

He shrugs, playing way cooler than he actually feels. "Yeah, I guess. At the very least, it's convenient for all those themed parties - they always went in some sort of couples costume."

"Says the bloke who wore basically the same costume for like half of them."

"Hey," he argues, "if the theme fits, why not go with an old standard?"

She laughs. "You really did get a whole lot of mileage out of those reindeer antlers."

He reflects back on that fondly - he honestly might still have that same pair of reindeer antlers somewhere, probably boxed up at his parents' house with some other memorabilia from university. "I really think my favourite was that pun party though, where I did the whole toga thing as well and called it 'deer god.' "

She gives him a look like she can see straight through him. "You just liked that one because you got to walk around shirtless and make all the girls in the college swoon over you."

"All the girls? Does that include you, Evans?" It's overly cheeky - and exactly the type of shit he would've pulled the first night they met - and he worries briefly that he might've gone too far this time.

She coughs, and it takes her a few seconds to answer him. "Obviously not. It takes a lot more to sway me than a bloke wearing a bedsheet as clothing."

He's strangely disappointed by that response, but he doesn't really know what else he was expecting either. That she was somehow magically swept off her feet by the mere sight of him?

No, Lily requires much more than appearances to be wooed, something he perhaps knows better than anyone.

"Sounds about right," he replies, and there's definitely a little bitterness in his tone that he wishes wasn't there. "At least mine was better than Pete's costume that night."

"Oh god," she laughs, "that was when he wore the nightstand, wasn't it? He was dressed as a 'one night stand' or something like that?"

"Yep. Seemed to think it would get him laid, for reasons I still don't fully understand."

Lily shakes her head. "Honestly, not his best plan. I'd rather go home with a bloke in a bedsheet than a bloke wearing a literal table."

James almost chokes on his sandwich at that. It probably means nothing, but god, the casual implication of going home with him almost does him in entirely.

He maintains that she really might be the death of him before they even make it to Edinburgh. Sirius is just going to have to find a new best man, because James is going to be fully out-of-commission by that point.

If he had maybe just the tiniest bit more courage - and, er, wasn't going to be stuck in a car with her for another four hours or so - he might say something about that comment. Or about a lot of her behaviour today, really.

But he stays silent, their conversation giving way to the song playing over the café speakers, Lily absentmindedly humming along with the lyrics while she waits for him to finish eating.

And I'm on my way, driving at ninety down those country lanes -

He makes a mental note to add more Ed Sheeran to their playlist.

***

They're more than halfway there now; after lunch, Lily had fallen asleep for what was honestly less than half an hour, but somehow seems like the end of the world to her.

"I'm supposed to keep you company, not fall asleep and leave you to fend for yourself," she says, in the middle of what must her fifth apology.

"I can handle driving alone for a little bit - it's fine, Lily," he tells her.

He doesn't mention that, when she'd fallen asleep, elbow resting on the centre console and head in her hand, she'd practically been resting against his shoulder, and he hadn't really minded that one bit.

"I'll be awake for the rest of the drive though," she insists. "We're only, what, three hours away now?"

"I've not got a map open, but that sounds about right," he replies.

Truthfully, he's just been driving along the A1 without paying much attention to their ETA - he figures it'll be awhile before any driving directions become relevant again.

"Well then, I've got three hours left of not taking any more naps," she answers simply. "Here, let me put on some good hype-up music."

He unlocks his phone and hands it to her again. "I've got no shortage of that."

She scrolls through the playlist for a little bit before finding something she's satisfied with. They start talking again - Lily tells him some story about the bar her roommate Marlene works at that somehow involves a low-level celebrity, a rubber chicken, and a real chicken; it's so absurd that, if she didn't swear up and down that she's got pictures of the whole thing that she'll show him when he's not driving, he'd definitely think she'd invented the whole thing.

"How do you somehow confuse those two?" he can't help but ask.

"I mean, it's a bar. Alcohol makes idiots of us all."

"Somehow I don't think I've ever been so drunk that I put a rubber chicken in a carrying pen and let a live chicken loose in a bar," he replies with a snort.

"Yeah, okay, that part was particularly stupid," she concedes, and the music suddenly shifts to a slow ballad. "Okay, we're definitely changing this."

She picks up his phone. "Shit, it's locked again."

He takes a hand off the wheel and holds it out to her. "Here, hand it to me, I'll unlock it."

"Just tell me your passcode," she replies. "I promise I'm not going to steal your phone or anything."

He lets out a short laugh at that. "Yeah, okay, it's not like you can make a run for it with my phone while I'm going seventy down the freeway. It's Lily: 5-4-5-9."

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her freeze like a deer in headlights, and it's only then that he realises the magnitude of what he just said.

She's his fucking phone password - granted, she has been since uni and he's kept the password for so long because that pattern of screen taps is just automatic at this point, but still.

It's honestly a miracle he doesn't somehow crash the car right then and there.

The silence between them lingers for a few moments longer, the only sound coming from the One Direction song still playing through the speakers.

"Your phone password is… me?"

Much to his surprise, Lily doesn't actually sound entirely repulsed by this revelation; instead, she just sounds genuinely stunned.

"It's nothing," he replies, his words coming out in a rush instead of the cool, casual way he'd hoped they would. And really, if he were panicking slightly less right now, he might've come up with a good cover - some other Lily he knew, or literally anything other than a clear acknowledgement that yes, she is his phone password, but alas.

"No, it's not nothing." She's back to her normal tone again. "And if nothing else, I'd like to at least know why - maybe not necessarily while you're driving, but at the very least, at our next pit stop."

He… yeah, he supposes owes her that much.

But how does he even explain that away without revealing exactly how he's felt about her for all these years? And while they've seemed perfectly friendly for this whole trip - and for a few brief moments, maybe even more than that - he's not sure how confessing that he's basically been in love with her for five years now will affect that comfortable camaraderie of theirs.

"Okay, yeah, that's fair," he concedes, tightening his grip on the wheel and vowing not to look over at her, not to reveal anything just yet.

"We'll stop at the next rest area then?"

"Sounds good," he answers, and an awkward silence settles over them again. Lily obviously doesn't want to type her own name into his phone to unlock it, so the radio continues to play the same slow One Direction love song. And as soon as the chorus starts, he has to fight off the urge to outwardly cringe, because god, what the fuck was he thinking, putting a song that hits quite so close to home on this playlist?

I have loved you since we were eighteen, long before we both thought the same thing...

Luckily (or unluckily, he's not entirely sure which), there's a rest area just a few kilometres away.

It's good that he's saved from spending too much longer stewing in the aftermath of his own stupidity, but not-so-good in the fact that he now has very little time to figure out just how to express all of this.

He's still mentally running through his options - does he tell her the full truth? part of it? a bold-faced lie that he hopes she doesn't call him out on? - when he pulls into a parking space. He takes as long as humanly possible to put the car in park and turn it off, entertaining the vague fantasy that maybe if he stalls just a little bit longer, the perfect way to handle this situation will just pop into his head.

He doesn't get that massive epiphany, but his prolonged silence does result in Lily being the first to speak. "I'm going to tell you something, but in exchange, you have to promise to be totally, one-hundred percent honest with me."

That seems like a massively risky gamble, but James honestly doesn't think it's actually possible to dig himself into a deeper hole than the one he's already dug himself - so what's the harm, really?

"Okay."

And if he thought he even had an inkling of an idea of what she was going to say, he's very swiftly proven wrong. "I've fancied you since our second year at UoE."

She's… "What?"

"Do you remember the night of that pun party we were talking about earlier? When you were dressed up in those reindeer antlers and a bedsheet?"

"Er… yes," he replies slowly, entirely unaware of where this is going.

"That was the night Petunia uninvited me from her wedding, do you remember that?" she adds, and when James looks over at her, she's looking at her hands folded across her lap.

He does remember that, actually, although he'd never thought much of it having any deeper significance until now. He'd found her outside the college bar, sitting on one of the steps and staring numbly at her phone, and he'd just… he'd done what any good friend ought to do.

"You found me outside and just… dropped everything. You left your friends and that girl you'd been flirting with all night and took me to that greasy chippy that we both know you hated and went back to my place with me and watched Heathers with me for maybe the hundredth time and didn't leave until it was almost three a.m. even though you had an early morning football practice because you wanted to be sure I was okay."

She looks up, meeting his eyes. "And it's a little ridiculous that it took Petunia's cruelty to make me realise it, because I mean, that wasn't like the first time I'd realised you were capable of being nice or anything - I'd known that, and I'd known I liked you as a person and thought you were fit and all that, awful first impressions be damned, but something… when you left that night and it hit me that you'd magically replaced all that hurt and betrayal with something better, something just clicked."

He's silent for a few moments, processing everything she's just said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

It's the most hypocritical question in the history of hypocritical questions, given his own silence on his feelings for her, but it comes out of his mouth nonetheless.

"I don't know," she answers, looking away from him again. "I didn't know how you felt about me, and I didn't want to do anything while we were at school that was going to mess up our friend group, and then we'd graduated and I'd never said anything and it felt too little too late at that point."

"You… didn't know how I felt about you?" he asks dumbly. "I spent the first night I met you just constantly hitting on you - I feel like that's pretty damn obvious."

"And you were completely plastered and apologised for it profusely afterwards and avoided the subject any time it came up again - it didn't exactly seem like it was a feeling you maintained while sober."

"Because I felt like a twat!" he defends. "And you'd very clearly shown me you weren't interested, so I wasn't about to keep flirting with you after that. But honestly, I'm not great at being subtle - Sirius, Remus, and Peter were constantly giving me shit for acting like an idiot around you. I'm not sure how you never noticed."

"So this is… oh god, this is why Remus was so keen that I drive up to the wedding with you," she says, sounding like she's suddenly had an epiphany of sorts.

He's entirely thrown off-guard by her once again. "What?"

"I was… god, this is embarrassing to admit out loud, but I was talking to Remus a few weeks ago and I started asking about you... and Remus, er, knows about my feelings and he gave me the idea that maybe I should use their wedding weekend as a chance to catch up with you and… fuck, now that I think about it, he was definitely giving really heavy hints that you fancied me back in uni as well."

"Oh my god," James says, realisation suddenly dawning on him, "that dirty double agent."

"Double agent?"

"As soon as you texted me about driving up together, I panicked and called Remus, and the fucker acted entirely oblivious to the whole thing," he explains, his eureka moment entirely outweighing any potential embarrassment he might've felt about telling her that. "Said you probably just wanted to 'spend some quality time with me' or… oh."

That was definitely meant as a hint.

"So all of this was Remus playing matchmaker," Lily concludes. "Or, not even matchmaker really, just…"

"Apparently he came to the conclusion that putting us in a car together for eight hours would be the only way one of us would finally pluck up the courage to say something," he finishes.

"Although I suppose neither of us actually did that… at least not on purpose."

Now that the initial shock has worn off, it starts to sink in that oh my god, she actually has feelings for him - that she's had them for five whole years now.

She looks at him a bit mischievously, and he realises that they've somehow leaned in towards each other over the course of the conversation. "You still haven't told me why my name is your phone password."

Instead of telling her why, he shows her, because they've got so, so much lost time to make up for. One of his hands comes up to cup her cheek, delicately, as he takes in the feeling of her skin against his hands and commits it to memory, and he closes the remaining gap between the two of them and presses his lips against her own.

It takes them a second to get things right - on Lily's part because it takes her a second to realise what's happening, and on James' part because he can't stop fucking smiling and it's making the kissing part difficult, but once they find their rhythm… holy fuck is it a rhythm.

One of her hands curls around the collar of his T-shirt as she deepens the kiss, and they're at such an awkward angle because they're literally in the driver and passenger seats of a car, but none of that even matters because he's kissing Lily Evans and she's kissing him back and it's quite literally everything he'd ever hoped it would be and more.

Everything he has, everything he's felt for the last six years, he's pouring into this. And maybe he should be nervous about that level of intensity of it, nervous that it's too much for a first kiss after she's only just told him that she likes him too, but he… he's never had much self-control when it comes to her, and this seems to be no exception. He doesn't think he could tone it down even if he wanted to.

One of his hands slides down her side, and she makes a soft little moaning sound into the kiss that practically does him in. When he'd thought to himself that she was going to be the death of him, he hadn't exactly pictured it happening this way, but he's quite okay with it.

Although then again, he'd actually like to do quite a bit more of this before dying, so maybe scratch that. He can't snog the girl of his dreams if he's dead.

Her hand slides from his collar and down his chest, and he's hyper-aware of everywhere her fingers touch, and -

BEEEEEEP.

He jumps back immediately, removing his offending elbow from where it had accidentally collided with the car's horn. "Shit!"

Lily laughs, and when James looks at her, she's flushed and her lips are a little swollen, and he did that. "Cars are perhaps not the best place for impromptu snogging sessions," she says, smirking just a little.

"No, not really," he agrees. "Not sure why there are so many songs about it."

"I think those usually involve making use of the backseat instead."

He glances at the backseat of his car, which doesn't actually have all that much stuff in it, but at the same time...

He's pretty sure that, if they keep going, he's not going to want to stop. And while shagging in the back of a car may be another one of those things that people like writing songs about, he'd much rather prefer, say, a hotel bed for that type of thing.

Lily must notice his apprehension, because she laughs again. "I'm not proposing we start snogging in your backseat," she tells him. "We can wait until we get to the hotel."

"How far away is that again?" He knows he asked that question not too long ago, but he's honestly completely forgotten the answer in the time since then.

A lot has happened in that time period, sue him.

"A little under three hours."

A little under three hours. That's practically no time at all. He can do that.

When they finally pull out of the rest area parking lot and get back on the road, James turns the music volume back up again, and it's a rather fitting song for the way Lily's hand is currently reaching over the centre console and resting on his thigh.

Can't keep my hands to myself - I mean I could, but why would I want to?

***

It turns out that three hours actually feels like an endlessly long amount of time when faced with a newfound impatience to get to one's destination.

They're just as chatty as they were before - the only thing that's changed from the first half of their trip is that there are noticeably fewer weird moments between the two of them… which, in hindsight, all suddenly make a lot of sense now. Well, that, and the way Lily's hands will occasionally reach over and rest on his knee, his shoulder, his bicep, and linger there for just a few moments, like she's trying to confirm that he's still real, like all of this is still real.

He doesn't fully blame her; he still can't really believe it's real either.

But after approximately one hundred and eighty agonising minutes in the car, they pull into the hotel where everyone's rooms for the wedding are booked. His parking job is… definitely not his best work, but he's not spending a single moment more in this car than necessary.

He opens the boot and retrieves his own bag, and just like on the way here, he lets her pick up her duffel bag herself. But as soon as the car's locked, he can't stop himself from sliding his free hand into her own, because he's no longer in the driver's seat of a car anymore and he's finally free to do something with his hands besides hold onto a steering wheel.

"I'm assuming… did you book a hotel room with Pete?" Lily asks him, as they fall into step.

"Nah, I got my own room," he answers. He hadn't had a specific reason not to share a room when he'd made his reservation, but god is he grateful for it now.

"So did I," she replies.

He almost wants to ask her to just stay in his, but he's not sure… maybe it's too soon for that? Or too forward?

So he bites his tongue, content to just run his thumb along the back of her hand as they walk into the hotel lobby and up to the desk.

"Hi, we need to check into our rooms?"

The concierge looks up from her computer at the both of them, almost disinterestedly. "Last name?"

"There's two separate rooms," James clarifies. "One under James Potter, one under Lily Evans."

The woman starts pulling up their room details, and James can't help but look over at Lily while they wait. He's spent three whole hours waiting to kiss her again - which isn't that much time, in the grand scheme of things, but they're making up for five years of lost time - and now they're so close. All he needs is their damn room keys, and he can invite her up to his for a little bit before dinner, and -

"It looks like you two are booked in the same room, actually."

James' head snaps up to look at the concierge again. "I didn't - "

She scrolls a little. "It looks like the change was made by the wedding party who owns the block of room reservations."

The... wedding party? That means -

He and Lily come to the same realisation at the same time. "Remus," they both say aloud, almost in unison.

"Yes?"

James whirls around to find both of his best friends, sitting on a couch in the lobby with drinks in hand. How he missed them when they walked in is a mystery, but he supposes he might've been a bit preoccupied with other things.

He blinks at the two of them, trying to form words. "You - you changed my hotel reservation?"

Remus smirks at him. "No, that was all Sirius."

"And technically," Sirius chimes in, "I didn't change your reservation at all. I just cancelled Lily's."

"I - why?"

"Because Remus here had to listen to not one, but both of you go on about each other in the weeks leading up to this weekend, and there was quite enough of you two being mutually pining idiots in university for it to still be continuing to this day," Sirius explains, throwing an arm around his fiancé. "So it felt necessary to take matters into our own hands… although, from the looks of things, you two have managed to sort things out already."

Sirius' eyes drop meaningfully, and James follows his gaze to realise that Lily's hand is still in his.

James opens his mouth to respond, but Lily beats him to the punch. "Finding out a bloke uses your name as his phone password mid-drive tends to do that, yeah. But if you'll excuse us, we've got a shared hotel room to take advantage of, so…"

She flashes the room key at the two of them - James isn't sure when she managed to collect it from the woman at the desk, but she's got it nonetheless - and he feels his heart fill with affection for her all over again.

And he also very, very much wants to follow through on her plan.

"We'll see you tonight," he says hurriedly, and he's quite positive that his friends are going to have a nice laugh at how quickly he drags Lily over to the elevators.

Does he care? Absolutely fucking not.

It's practically a mad dash to their room after that - it seems Lily is just as impatient as he is - and they've only been in the room long enough to set their bags on the floor before Lily has absolutely eliminated even the slightest breath of air between their bodies, rising up on her tiptoes and wrapping her arms around his neck.

"So, what do you say? Worth the drive?" She's got a sly smile on her face, and her green eyes are positively sparkling.

"Without question," he confirms, his hands settling on her hips almost automatically as he drops his head down, resting his forehead against hers.

There's a beat, a breath, and then her lips are on his all over again.

His reaction is instantaneous, one hand tangling in her hair while the other wraps tighter around her waist, and god, it's even better the second time - although that's likely at least in part due to the fact that they're not at some weird angle in James' tiny car this time around.

It's safe to say that absolutely none of this was what he was anticipating when he picked Lily up from her apartment in Camden Town this morning, but he's more than happy with the results.

One short little road trip, that's all it was, and it got him this.

#jily fanfiction #jily fic #jily #james potter #lily evans #hp #hp fic #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #marauders era #modern au #roadtrip au #james and lily

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