#I still think it was all worth it though

[activatebutterflyshield]

I was compelled last night and I’m quite honestly scared of whatever 11:59 PM me intended for those middle sections. At least I still know my colors when sleep deprived, and I’m sure someone else on here can fill the blank spots out better than I can on a full eight hours of shut-eye.

#oh god on high what do i tag this with #the crane wives #the paper kites #cosmo sheldrake #fish in a birdcage #the arcadian wild #the oh hellos #dirt poor robins #the amazing devil #venn diagram #me running my mouth #im pretty sure you could put all the text boxes in this file in a jar shake it to hell and back and pour it over the diagram #and itd still make some degree of sense #says a lot about my music taste eh mates? #anyone who sees this and relates to any degree please o please say so #i have essays worth of analysis i can spit out about most of these musicians #not on command though i need to get kinda existential first #theres three paragraphs about the eurus ep hanging out in my drafts and i think my motivation for that is somewhere behind the couch #with the spiders and my childhood nail clippings

[somegrumpynerd]

Started reading The Bad Wingmen by @topazshadowwolf and @paddie-ut and it utterly possessed me for a few days so I needed to draw some of my favourite bits

#UTDR #UTMV #Dadmare #Dust Sans #Killer Sans #Nightmare Sans #Balance Toriel #You ever read a fanfic so good you have to draw 4 pages worth of moments from it? #I think I probably could have done more but I needed to have some self control so this post wouldn't be enormous lol #I didn't expect to get so invested in this one but the Dust and Killer interactions really fascinate me #They're so chaotic and they get at each other's throats even though they're not that different but they have each other's backs deep down #I'm just. They're brothers your honour and I love to see it #Almost all of these are from one chapter but the whole thing is so good #Fuzzynight is growing on me I'm excited to see more of these two #And don't get me started on Nightmare's unruly kids trying to set him up because they want him to be happy #It's eternally sweet but also hilarious #The real question is are they still grounded now that Nightmare and Lyra have agreed to date? #The answer is almost certainly yes but I feel like they'll still argue they should get a reduced punishment for being right (and helping) #Also I tried to do the dappled sunlight effect you described with the last picture because it was so vivid to me #And I love to see a rare moment of Dust and Killer at peace with each other #Oh my god there are four million tags I'm sorry tldr I love this fic I want to print it out and eat it okay goodbye!! #My Art

[fernlessbastard]

hot take moment cwilbur is literally just psychotic as all hell and i think people got way too comfortable villianizing the shit out of a man who was clearly portraying signs of severe mental illness. cwilbur was like im so fucking paranoid and scared and i think everyone is out to get me and hurt me and ive spiralled to the point i cant reach out to the people closest to me because im so afraid and lost in this spiral and im having constant panic attacks and hurting myself because i dong know what to do with myself and the only way out for me is to die. and everybody was like EVIL MAN WHO ENJOYS HURTING OTHERS AND IS ABUSIVE ON PURPOSE AND A VILLAIN AND SHOULD NEVER BE TRUSTED AGAIN. and then he came back and was like im still deeply troubled and afraid but im desperately trying to make up for the wrongs i did in the past and the people i hurt in my own way and communication is really hard for me but i hope people know that im truely sorry and i love them. im going to try my hardest to fix this in the only way i know how and then respectfully remove myself from the situation because i feel thats the kindest thing i can do to the people ive hurt. and people were like ABUSER ABUSER ABUSER EVIL MAN ABUSER. like girl

Yeah no based true real no questions asked

I'd hope I manage to portray Wilbur the way he deserves in my content, cause that man is heavily bpd coded and he just needs therapy and someone who genuinely loves him but also can handle his bullshit (which has exclusively and reliably been Quackity like, canonically)

But yeah no completely agreed. The man has issues and has definitely fucked up a lot but at the end of the day he really does need love and care and patience, but also boundaries (and therapy and meds, obviously)

#i deeeefinitely have no reason to have strong feelings about bpd bitches deserving love and care and stability ha ha nooo it's definitely- #-not like I've been dating one for well over 4 years now and even though we've been through so much shit together and I still can't- #-understand why people with bpd and conditions that have similar symptoms are so demonised. It just makes no sense to me. #my bf is the love of my life and i can't imagine /not/ supporting it through all the splitting and episodes and all of that cause they're- #-absolutely worth everything #i don't know not to be too gay on main but tbf it's too late now anyway i think-- #is it unstable? sure. but it's also the most caring and loving person i've ever been close with and it always makes sure i'm ok #and it loves me so undeniably deeply no matter what purely for who i am #i've never had anyone care about me this much and this genuinely and this unconditionally - it'd always be what /they/ can get out of /me/ #but my boyfriend just cares about me - the actual me - no matter if i'm acting how it imagined i'd act. what matters is if i'm /me/ #listen bpd isn't sunshine and rainbows - we've been through some TERRIBLE shit (including s-cide attempts) #but when people claim it makes a relationship toxic/abusive it's so stupid cause ultimately with mutual love support and reassurance- #-and professional help you can have a genuinely happy and healthy life with someone with bpd #love isn't mean to be easy. it's meant to be safe and supportive and genuine but a relationship always takes effort and work on both sides #you should never sacrifice your well being of course! #but when love takes effort and extra care it doesn't inherently mean it's unhealthy or toxic or abusive. it just means you're people. #tldr if you love someone then don't care about some diagnosis - care about the actual perso. #ask #asks #ask fern #tntduo #dsmp #tnt duo #wilbur soot #quackity #quackbur #dream smp #tntblr #c!quackbur #c!tntduo

[writesology]

assortment of little guys

(i think tumblr killed the quality, please click and zoom in!)

#my art #twisted wonderland #riddle rosehearts #ace trappola #ridoace #akito and toya are also there but i don't think they need a tag #still love them though <3 #listen those summer outfits had me in a CHOKEHOLD #I WENT THRU SO MUCH EFFORT TO MAKE THEM LOOK GOOD #BUT IT'S OK BECAUSE RIDOACE IS WORTH IT #doing this kind of collage page is actually kinda fun #i might do it again sometime #if u guys read all this uh. thanks <3

[mejomonster]

On a serious note, I do feel mysterious case lotusbook has a lot of sincere themes about getting older, realities of responsibility and dreams realized, how it's difficult to succeed and not always the direct path one expects, how there's value in little aspects of life. Almost every li lianhua scene seems to be about that to some degree. The murder cases aren't particularly deep as far as super complicated to figure out or Able to be predicted super well (since they don't always give all the details in the initial setup), but the themes about who was killed and why do connect to li lianhuas situation.

#mysterious lotus casebook #lb #by all this i mean: a lot of the positive things li lianhua AND di feisheng say are fairly good advice tbh #like a fei? hes like you need to be fair in your decisions for your actions to be worthwhile and earned #li lianhua: sometimes being the one taking all responsibility was bad for you and the people you led who felt burdened #by You taking the burden. and stepping back can be a respectable choice. #cooking is more difficult than fighting. keeping yourself alive is Hard and its the hardest thing we do #and its admirable even when youll never be a hero never be able to achieve what those around you might #your peers are worthwhile if they choose diffetently than you (qian wanmian isnt lesser for not choosing to lead a sect and instrad #dissolving it. di feisheng doesnt think li lianhua is no longef worth his time even though hes weaker now. li lianhua is still someonr he #wants to see alive see brlieve in himself see passionate about things. the monks think its never too late to #reconnect to people again. that people who love you will want you and accept you even when you fail. #even fang duobing by knowing li lianhua gets the experience of someone who wants him alive #and fondly smiles and Is proud of him. evrn if hes learning and fails and moody #fond of him in a way his family wasnt that strangers lied about due to his status #in a way that he clung to li xianyi for ALSO seeing value in him when he felt he didnt live up to expectstions of the world #its the Kindness of little moments of acceptance. of being kind to yourself and kind to others (even down to #not wantjng to kill suspects but take them to trial. not wanting scapegoats blamed. which arent usually done in wuxia) #its the fact this show is quite about gentleness and healing (i see the Love and Redemption screen writing ismilarities) #rather than about power struggles. do you know what i mean?

[liquidstar]

a friend who'd wait :)

#im posting this very late because i was sort of weary of how it came out and ended up messing w it until it was like 4am oops. #and i have plans tmrw so... oh well! i did my best and ill put it out while i can! #and i tried to make the scene match barnard's colors lol #finn's ocs #finn's art #i know i said id do more sillay stuff with the simpler screentone only style but i had a couple more of these in me #and this is the first piece im making thats like an actual part of the story too rather than just setting stuff for fun #i wanna write something to go with it too but for now ill just sort of briefly explain the context in the tags here: #barnard has a pretty bad case of OCD and his compulsions have made it difficult to make friends in the past #he was never outright bullied or anything but people just didnt really have the patience to deal with it #he has compulsions that include stuff like walking through doors until it feels right and needing things to be perfectly aligned #which in group settings has lead to people having to wait for him to finish his rituals and join them #they might find it tolerable at first but eventually they grow impatient and hes just... not invited to stuff anymore #but juno is a newer member of the guild who ends up frequenting the same library. hes also kinda a little weird #and they dont become fast friends or anything but just sort of naturally spend time in the same place #though they never plan meetups they eventually fall into a routine. around the same time theyd just both be at the library #and read next to each other. and maybe talk a bit. and eventually they end up walking back to the guildhall together #since theyre going to the same place after all. and juno always waits for barnard outside the door #eventually barnard asks if this bothers him. juno kinda just tells him 'of course it does' without any malice or anything. just a statement #barnard is surprised and apologizes and juno says not to. but the next day juno doesnt show up at the usual time. #barnard assumes hes committed somekinda more by bringing it up. he ends up staying there late reading to get his mind off it & not ruminate #but when he leaves juno is in fact still waiting for him down the hall (see pic) having collected a bunch of books literally abt ocd #he fell asleep bc barnard stayed later than expected. and hes an eepy guy generally. and also one very bad at expressing himself #but now barnard gets that juno's 'of course it [bothers me]' had the implication of 'but its worth it' which no friend has previously done. #and from the interaction juno was also able to understand that this isn't something barnard just does for the hell of it so. he studies. #and checks a bunch of stuff out because he thinks it could help his friend too (theres ocd workbooks and such- i remember working w them) #and thats the point where they became more ''friends'' than ''pleasant library acquaintances'' #from there on they also do get into juno's problems. whole other bag of worms. but this specific scene is more about bernard from his pov #sorry about when i said briefly explain. i lied </3 #but compared to the whole sequence im picturing its brief so shhh

[kakusu-shipping]

It’s my blog and I’ll post what I want to even if what I want to post is a Post Mario Movie Mario X Luigi mini fic because it’s my blog and I’ll post what I want to

So far away, and still together.

In which Mario and Luigi move in

“Last box!” Mario called, the loud thud of said cardboard box hitting the floor causing Luigi to flinch. “We’re officially moved in.”

Moved in... Moved in to Toad town, in a world so far away yet just a single pipe from Brooklyn. So far from that apartment they’d grown up in, from their food thief uncles, and mama’s fresh pasta. So far..

Mario’s hand brushed Luigi’s, and the younger flinched, pulling his hand quickly away on reflex.

They’d always been together, Mario and Luigi, as more than just brothers, as long as they could remember. When they were kids it was fine, no one batted an eye. Why was Luigi in Mario’s bed? He’s scared of the dark, and they shared a room anyway. Why does Mario kiss Luigi on the forehead so much? He’s affectionate, let the boy be affectionate.

It wasn’t until Middle school, when their father clonked their heads together, when they’d almost had their first real kiss, when their mother sat them down and talked in her worried, loving voice. She’d explained it like they didn’t know what they were doing, like they were confused, like she’d done wrong by not splitting them sooner.

They got separate rooms after that.

Sense then it got harder. They remained ever the same, but quieter. Secretive. Careful. They didn’t want to disappoint their mother, or get whacked over the head again by their father. They were lucky they were Italian, and affection was the normal between their family. Though somehow it never felt like enough.

“Lu. Luigi. Look at me.” Mario’s hand laced in Luigi’s, there in the living room. Their living room. Their home. Luigi turned to his brother, face red and eyes wet. Here in this house so far away from everything they’d ever know, in a locked house all their own, Mario laid a gentle hand on Luigi’s cheek and pressed his lips over his brother’s.

It wasn’t their first kiss, they’d snuck in a few, and it wasn’t like it’d been forever sense they’d kissed, just earlier today in fact while packing up Luigi’s room they’d exchanged a peck, yet this one. This one. It made Luigi’s leg’s shake.

Luigi wrapped his finger’s around Mario’s overall straps and pressed closer, closer, closer, never close enough. Mario held onto Luigi’s cheeks, bending back into the desk from his bedroom now propped here in their living room, it was all he could do to stop himself from toppling over.

Here in their home Luigi thought this kiss could go on forever and he wouldn’t care. He could run out of breath and keep going. He could starve and still stand there, his lips pressed against his brother’s.

When Mario moved his hands to Luigi’s shoulders and pushed him back, the younger resisted, using Mario’s overalls to pull himself back, pressing back into his lips harder, closer, deeper.

“Lu-” Mario spoke into his brother’s lips, pushing him back again. The older gasped for breath, practically sitting on his old wooden desk.

Luigi found himself snapped out of his trance, immediately retreating three large steps back and he spilled apologizes, wringing his hands together in front of his chest. His cheeks flushed, his eyes stung with tears. He’d gone overboard, he’d always gone overboard. He’s the reason they’d gotten caught in the first place, and nearly gotten caught so many times after. And now here he was, putting Mario at risk again in their brand new home. Why’s he gotta be such a screw up-

Mario’s lips once again pressed to Luigi’s, soft and quick and enough to shut him up. “Deep breath, bro.” He said gently, placing his hand on his brother’s waist, “In and out, nice and slow.”

Luigi took a few steadying breaths before laying his forehead on his brothers shoulder, “I’m sorry..” He shook softly, gripping onto the front of Mario’s overalls.

“For what? Kissin’ the love of you life openly and passionately for the first time in your life? Taking my breath away? Pinnin’ me to my desk like a horn dog?”

“I-I did not PIN you!” Luigi shot up, face deep red as he pushed away from his brother.

Mario chuckled, pulling Luigi back, “You didn’t bend me over the desk kissing at me like you’d never see me again?”

“Shut up!! Shut Up!!!” Luigi slapped his hand over Mario’s face, pushing at him again, “I did not bend you over!!!”

Mario continued to laugh, kissing at Luigi’s hand before scooping him up and spinning them both and toppling onto the couch with Luigi on his lap. The younger buried himself into his brother’s shoulder, ears burning red.

There were boxes to unpack, cleaning and sorting and probably some paper work to be done, but it all could wait.

For now, Mario and Luigi laid comfortably together on their little beat up loveseat they’d bought off some guy in Kings for $250, in their living room, their house, so far away from the little apartment they’d grown up in. So far away, and still together.

#Mariocest #Mario X Luigi #Emile's Writing #It probably can't count as a ficlet huh it's pretty short. Sorry. #I wrote the draft sitting stock still in 20 minutes worth of back up on the highway #and by wrote I mean day dreamed #And lost it all when I got home #So... Sorry #I want to write more though I just have to think of more #All my Mariocest content is just. Soff. Kissus.... #you know???? #Like... bro what if they kissed #What if they held hands... #What if they got wed #What if man what if #I'll try to think of more eventually eventually eventually

[evie-doesnt-write]

My unpopular opinion is that TGCF is the weakest out of all MXTX books (maybe because she didn’t get to edit it until recently unlike the other two). I still love it and it’s an amazing piece of work but as a narrative, its structure is not as strong as the other two (though I think TGCF is stronger in other regards)

#mdzs is strongest obviously #it has the most consistent story and flows the best #one problem tgcf has (which pains me to call a problem) #is too much focus and information on side-characters #ofc everyone including me loves that we know so much of everyone and got so much of them #but looking at it through narrative lens it ends up making the story messier #mdzs also has a lot of side characters but they feel balanced according to their role #like imagine if we got as much information on nhs nmj jzx oyzz ljy and all the other obscure side characters as we did for jgy and xy #that’s tgcf #which i love because all the characters are so complex and very dear to my heart (I don’t think i disliked a single one) and their parallels #but argubly we didn’t need them all (even though I wouldn’t change it because i like having them all) #don’t get me wrong it’s still an amazing novel and i enjoyed it a lot #and it’s not fair to judge it because it’s unedited #but i think it’s worth talking about #tgcf #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #mxtx

[icewindandboringhorror]

Hrmm... put together a roommates quiz finally after years of thinking it would be an interesting idea lol.. Though obviously not meant to be taken super seriously, I just like thinking about this aspect of personality compatibility. Like yeah, maybe you could get along with someone just chatting with them, but living together is such a different thing. .. curiouse...

#Not that I think that many people would really care since I barely know anyone on tumblr in real life and would never live with random #internet strangers lol but... idk.. I made this to give to friends from time to time and thought... why not post it here too #just out of sheer curiosity if anyone takes it what the most common results would be and etc. #My initial assumption is that most people would probably fall into the 'maybe' category and that either extreme of 'best roomates' #and 'worst roomates' would be the least common #very long also since I like to be thorough I guess #THOUGH... upon second thought... tumblr is home of the like Weird Introverts Who Sit Inside All The Time.. so maybe it's more #likely to come across compatible poeple on here. given that many of the questions are about how meticulous #people are with their scehdules or how often they invite friends over or if they like to mostly stay inside etc. #(since personally I think having a roommate coming and going and bringing random people over all the time would be too chaotic #lol... I need a peaceful quiet household) #Also I kind of don't like the way uquiz seems to do results. I was hoping it would be a number tally? I used some sort of quiz making site #before where you weight the question responses with a number (so the 'Best' response is worth a 0 #The worst is worth like 5 points. and all the in between are like 1 - 4 points or something). So then it is actually possible to have a #''perfect score'' category (someone who gets a literal 0 points). and also you could weight some EXTREMELY bad answers #to add like +10 to the score instead of just +5. And someone who got the MAX possible points would be the WORST compatibility. etc. #But uquiz seems to just be like ''which category did you score towards the MOST'. So someone can give some pretty bad answers #that are VERY non compatible. but as long as MOST of their answers landed in a 'compatible' category #then they would still be listed as compatible despite still actually having some dealbreakers in there. Which is also possible with the #'every answer is a number amount' ranking system too. but I feel like that one does allow for a little more customization #and accuracy (like making the dealbreakers add like...+40 to the score or something so that #there's basically NO way that someone could answer with one of those and still get a good score. Or the ability to have a literal #'perfect score' (getting a zero) etc. #BUt anyway lol... inchresting.. inchresting... curious to consider maybe making a uquiz #for the characters in the gameI'm making like.. which npc are you type quiz or something #now that I've made one and seen how it works.. hrmm hrmm.... #(< game will not even be done for like another year but still thinking about nonsense like this lol)

[devilsskettle]

i feel like i’ve been WAITING for the other shoe to drop wrt people’s opinions about watcher for this very reason. not that i think the reaction is completely not understandable but the greater the parasocial relationship, the greater the fallout as soon as public opinion shifts. you don’t have a relationship with these people they’re just content creators, chill

#ready to see all the people coming out of the woodwork to say how they’ve never liked watcher/unsolved/etc #and act like it’s ‘cringe’ now that their fanbase feels ‘betrayed’ #it’s great to have a fanbase but parasocial relationships will bite you in the ass every single time #it’s interesting too though because i’ve seen watcher have a LOT of support as they’ve tried to build something separate from buzzfeed #so this is the first time they’re getting real pushback about a decision they’ve made wrt shifting their platform/expanding their brand #so ig we’ll have to see how they react moving forward #but it’s soooo interesting to see how enthusiastically people dump on buzzfeed #AND how many people dump on youtube and how over the years so much of its functionality has been stripped away #how many ads you have to sit through. how much sponsored content there is now. etc #but when they try to do the same thing with youtube that they did with buzzfeed it’s like how dare you not lick their boots #because if you lick their boots and we lick their boots we can watch stuff for free #anyway. #even if you don’t any to say it’s a bad business decision. it’s not like there’s not precedent for it #1) the move away from buzzfeed was successful and 2) what about the dnd shows or whatever #don’t you guys watch those dnd shows that are ‘behind a paywall’ #don’t you guys have netflix hulu disney hbo amazon etc ad nauseum that are actually owned by billion dollar corporations #don’t you guys get on your high horses about supporting independent artists all the time #it’s interesting that people will profess to be such big fans!!! and feel like they’re friends!!!! #but how dare they think their work might be worth paying for #idk. idk. it’s entitlement though #sorry for the rant i’m ALSO not trying to blindly defend a bunch of people i don’t know #but you guys are being soooo fucking annoying about it lol #anyway i’m still waiting to see what their response is going to be from here before jumping to conclusions #also to be fair i am biased to be lenient about decisions made by independent filmmakers vs big studios etc #like everybody freaking out about the ai art used in late night with the devil. who cares honestly #‘they should’ve paid a real artist!!’ idk maybe their budget didn’t cover that #i don’t want it to become the industry norm but at the end of the day i would rather see indie shit getting made then only seeing #the big studios (who don’t have equitable practices anyway!!) making shit #but that’s another conversation. just to be transparent about my viewpoint on this kind of thing #maybe controversial but also can’t we have nuance. for once.

[catcactusoww]

today's studies! 2 from classes and 2 x 15 min warmups. (I couldn't get rid of the weird bubble on the portrait studies no matter what glaze settings I used. :/ if anyone has any tips pls let me know)

I haven't posted much in a long time because I was ashamed of having the ups and downs in quality from a lack of art education and experience, but there's nothing wrong with needing work on my fundamentals. I want to be more consistent about posting studies AND finished work. it's hard to work through in my head and heart, but it's ok to not be perfect. I am trying to work through that mindset rather than stagnate indefinitely. looking forward to having fun and having some learning experiences.

#I am in study mode #work is kicking my ass but it's good to learn and fail #hopefully I can post some original work soon #I have requests in a list #I will work through them #even though they are just requests I am so scared people will hate them that it was hard to work at all #I spent a lot of time crying while i worked and fell into a deep depression as I recognized my weaknesses #and how ai could very easily surpass me in terms of consistency and quality #but that's not a reason to quit and I am going to work through this #it scares me and i still cry and feel deeply depressed #but it's going to be ok #i have some original work wips that i want to show that really show off how much i have learned #but i am so afraid of ai that i will not share them until they are finished and glazed #i am not terribly happy with glaze as it still kind of messes up my pictures but it is worth it to do i thin #*think #i forgot to nightshade these but alas #my art

[hgrve]

harringrove angst (kind of mean steve for those who aren't into that)

thinking of steve and billy having bad fights after starting a relationship, and during those fights steve always brings up the night at the byers.

steve doesn’t really know why he does it, him and billy have made amends, they’re together now and they love each other. except, he kind of does know why he brings it up. it wins him the argument. billy goes quiet and hurt and they don’t fight anymore.

because billy doesn’t want to be like neil, wants to show steve (show everyone) that he’s better. he knows he fucked up, that he’s not perfect and probably never will be, but he thought steve had forgiven him. that they’d forgiven each other, because steve apologized to him too. and how can billy bring that up without looking like he’s making excuses? can’t say you hit me too or you know what happened before with my dad or what was i supposed to think about what i found?

eventually steve does it so much that they stop fighting completely. and, yeah, steve no longer has to deal with the arguments, he and billy don’t scream at each other until they’re both in tears anymore. it’s the best they’ve gotten along since they got together or, well, ever.

but he’s also lost the shy smiles billy gives him when it’s just the two of them, and the little laugh that billy is embarrassed of, the one that hiccups out of him and scrunches up his nose. and, most importantly, he’s lost the quiet nights where billy opens up to him, about the abuse from his dad, and how he felt when his mom left, how much he misses her and how he wishes she’d loved him enough to take him with her.

maybe steve starts getting angrier, and more hurt as time goes on and billy doesn’t open back up. he decides that if billy is going to withhold things from him, steve should start being able to take things from billy too. they still have sex, billy still sighs into steve’s neck when steve slides into him but steve starts not kissing billy, turning his head away when billy tries, turning billy on his belly when billy gets too persistent. leaves billy to clean up by himself as soon as they’re done rather than stay in bed holding each other, enjoying the afterglow together like they’ve always done before. stops taking billy out with him when he hangs out with the party or the other teens, stops telling billy when he goes out at all.

and so, the resentment starts to build up, for both of them, and they’re right back where they started, fighting and screaming at each other. but neither of them will leave. they love each other, after all. steve refuses to have another failed relationship, because what does that say about steve? that he isn’t good enough, loveable enough, worthy enough, just not ever enough. and as much as billy doesn’t want to be like neil, he also doesn’t really want to be like his mom either. doesn’t want to abandon steve like his mom abandoned him, knows how it affected him, how it made him feel, and he won’t do that to someone he cares about.

so they stay stuck in this endless cycle because maybe steve loves billy and billy loves steve, but they don’t always like each other, and they definitely don’t trust each other.

#*w #harringrove #billy hargrove #steve h #i'm not great at writing so grammar/syntax are probably all over the place here so apologies for that #but i had this thought and it wouldn't leave #bc as much as i love happy healthy harringrove i also love angst and can see them bringing out the worst in each other #i also have so much more i wanted to add to this but it would have made it start to go all over the place so i will be adding here #but in short i think billy gets nasty when they fight but steve gets nasty and /personal/ #steve would regret it as soon as he does it and i feel like he would be the type to love bomb (not necessarily meaning it to be malicious) #but bc he's following the example of his parents (my hc) & also a lot of his self worth is tied into what he can give to/do for his partner #whether that is gifting material objects or an over abundance of attention #and i think most of billy's self worth is tied to his appearance/body and he thinks the way to show he cares is through sex #so even though he doesn't feel like he can share more personal stuff with steve anymore #(or maybe he views steve bringing up the fight as steve saying he views billy bringing up his past as making excuses) #he still feels like he can show steve he loves him by sleeping together #and i hc that sex with steve was a whole nother ball game for billy #that he never kissed with anyone as much as he does with steve or that anyone ever showed as much /care/ as steve does for him during sex #so when steve starts not kissing him or treating him like he did previously it sends billy into a tail spin #and i love emotional billy and emotional billy is canon #but i also feel that billy is so use to hiding his emotions (even if he doesn't succeed at it) bc of what neil would do to him #and he would try to do so doubly for someone he cares for bc he views himself and his emotions as something shameful and volatile and bad #and so those emotions would build and build until he just couldn't keep them in anymore #which of course just starts another fight and so on #they are both deeply insecure individuals your honor #whoops these tags got long sorry

[seoafin]

i started the dungeon meshi anime and was pleasantly surprised

#idk why i thought it was going to be bad... #at least until they ruin the pace but i think it's going to be good #i still encourage everyone to read the manga though!!! still worth it #ryoko kui deserves all the rewards dm rerouted my brain

[katierosefun]

i'm going to be seeing hadestown apparently, and i can't wait to sob my eyes out like a baby in front of my mom

#caroline talks #when the tragedy. when the tragedy. when. when the love. the love was always there . . . . #you can't change it! you can't do anything to change it!!! but it was there!!! #god. 2021 caroline's taste was so. #i think 2021 was the year i got into both beyond evil + the haunting of hill house + the haunting of bly manor + hadestown #big year for my tragedy enjoying self. a lot of me standing in front of a bulletin board and looking a little insane #like whatever. you're going to rewatch this show you're going to re-read this story you're going to keep doing the same thing #even though you know it's going to end miserably. you know it'll end miserably. #but you'll go through it again because the love was worth it. even if it ended sadly. the love was there and therefore you are willing to #put yourself through it again. #me pointing to mike ross in suits when he says 'even knowing how it all turned out . . . i would still do it again' to harvey #like. themes. narratives. #except harvey and mike. do have a happy resolution themselves #but like. still. something something. #you know there will be grief you know there will be sadness. but the love somehow outshines it all. OR SOMETHING

[orcelito]

The good news: I will have Chinese food tomorrow

The bad news: I have to see my mom as part of it :[

#speculation nation #negative/ #i guess. i Am complaining. #i did agree to this. better to rip the bandaid off ahead of the family christmas. #but i havent talked to her since like... jeeze. i really think it's been over 2 years by this point now. #ignored all her calls and texts and Letters even #like what am i supposed to say? heyyy ma nice to see you (i guess). why havent i called? well uhhhhh #even in her letter she sent me it was essentially a nearly illegible journal she kept during a depressing as fuck time #something that really shouldve stayed as a journal. but no she wrapped it up stuck a sticker on it and drew some nail polish on the envelope #i am her child and yet she was using me as a therapist. venting things and In The Letter saying she didnt know why she said them #like. mom. you know you dont have to send me everything you write right? you know you can start over right? #but no she just writes with no filter. no consideration for me. #because she's a sad sad woman who sees her children as the only things worth living for #and i do say things. she doesn't fucking care about me as a person. #she just misses the experience of being these little impressionable people's Everything. #no one puts up with her bullshit these days and how sad is that? #so. well. that's the kind of reason why i havent talked to her. bc she's a fucking drain just to be around. #but shes my mother yada yada and something in me still feels maybe even slightly socially obligated to see her #really though i just want to see her Side of the family. i miss them. i haven't seen them in too long. #and in order to see them i have to see her. and i decided itd be best to see her ahead of time #so that family xmas is. at least slightly less awkward. hopefully. #what am i supposed to do if she tries to hug me or something? i dont want to hug her. #either she'll be all weepy that i havent been talking to her or she'll try to act like nothing's changed at all. #or maybe both. who knows. either way itll be entirely about her. as it always is. #i just need to make sure i dont end up alone with her #so long as my sister or grandma are there too she wont be As insufferable. hopefully.

[sonknuxadow]

to be honest i think classic sonic as a separate guy sucks and it should have just been a one time thing in generations that they never tried again. sorry classic sonic enjoyers .

#and thats not to say that i think all of the more recent classic sonic media is bad. sonic mania is good. sonic superstars is okay. #and the comics and animations are cute #but is it really worth it . i think the concept of classic sonic being from an alternate dimension #and certain characters being considered ''classic only'' characters kinda sucks. i dont like it. #and recently they seem to have dropped that idea and switched to ''yeah this is totally the same timeline as everything else'' #which i dont like either. i dont like them going back and inserting more stuff into the area of the timeline #that we already passed over 20 years ago just to appeal to people who wont touch anything with modern sonic in it #its like theres no winning . maybe they should just stop with the classic sonic . leave him alone #if they think they have to keep making classic sonic stuff or theyll die though why does it have to be canon #why cant it just be a silly fun side thing that they dont take super seriously #also theres nothing stopping them from making 2d games that still use the modern designs like the advance trilogy or sonic rush #i think making games like that more often would be a better compromise than whatever theyre doing with classic sonic