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indigoflorals · 1 year

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Hi! Could I request JJ X reader where it’s readers first time and he’s just sweet with lots of fluff?

Sanctuary (18+)

JJ Maybank x Reader

Warnings: Loss of virginity, unprotected sex, pet names, biting, aftercare

It’s your first time, and your boyfriend is more than happy to make it as special as possible for you.

Please do not repost my works on any platforms!

꧁༺ ༻꧂

Today was the best day you could possibly imagine. JJ had planned every surprise, pulling out all the stops for your birthday.

You spent the day laughing and surfing with the pogues. Things were fantastic, and JJ even made you a little shark tooth necklace to match his.

You figured there was no way things could even get better than that. JJ walked you home, and you invited him in for some time just for the two of you.

“J, you have no idea how amazing you made today for me.” You cuddled into him, and he wrapped and arm around you.

You were watching some random movie he had picked. He loved to show you stupid comedies he had already seen at least five times.

The blond turned away from the movie to play with your hair. “It’s really nothing. You’d do the same for me, love.”

You sat that way for a while, cuddled into each other. Your parents were away that weekend, and per usual JJ be would be staying the night with you.

You watched his face as he watched the movie, so focused yet so soft. You were sure he did absolutely nothing with his skin and yet it was always so clear.

“What’re you staring for, stupid?”

You snapped out of your thoughts, now noticing him staring back at you with those blue eyes. A blush threatened to creep across your cheeks.

“Just you.”

He smiled, leaning in to kiss you softly. You loved these moments, however scarce. You and JJ hadn’t gone very far yet, he didn’t want to push you into anything you weren’t ready for.

With a burst of confidence, you slid into his lap to straddle him, not breaking the kiss.

A low groan escaped his lips at the feeling of you against him, and he pulled away. “Baby, we don’t have to do anything you don’t wanna do. Promise I’m happy with whatever we do.”

You giggled, leaning in to kiss his neck. You kissed upwards until reaching his ear, letting out a soft, hot breath. “I want you, J. I’m ready.”

At your words he grabbed your waist gently, picking you up to flip you underneath him. You gasped at the unexpected change of position.

He ran his hands up your shirt, pushing it to expose your mid-drift and bra. Peppering light kisses to your stomach and chest, he smiled and gave you reassurance. “I’m gonna take good care of you baby, just relax and let me do everything for you.”

You nodded, lifting yourself just a bit off the mattress to give him access to the clasp of your bra. He undid it with ease, slipping the straps down and discarding it to the side of the bed. You sucked a shaky breath as his hands now roamed your bare chest. “I trust you. Just go slow okay?”

He nodded, slowly thumbing at one of your nipples, sending a chill up your spine and earning a quiet moan from you. “We’ll do everything at your pace, baby.”

Moving his hand aside, he leaned down to your chest, taking one nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it. He looked to your eyes for any signs of hesitation, but only found your eyes closed and eyebrows drawn close together in pleasure. “That feels so different. Feels good, though.”

He hummed, still sucking on your tit, eliciting a particularly loud moan from you. He released your nipple with a quiet ‘pop’, meeting your eyes which were full of a look of disappointment.

“J, that felt so good. Why’d you stop?” He let out a soft laugh at your remark, running his fingers along the waistband of your loose shorts.

“Because I think you’ll like this a lot better.” He lifted your hips gently, again looking to you before pulling your shorts and panties down in one go.

You were now only in your t-shirt, which was pushed up above your breasts. You sat, fully exposed to him, and he groaned barely audibly.

He ran a hand over your now bare waist, and goosebumps flushed your skin. “You are so beautiful baby. Thank you for sharing this with me. I promise I’ll make it memorable.”

“You’re the only person I’d ever want to be my first, JJ.” You smiled up at him from your place on your back. “Now take off some clothes because I don’t wanna be the only one here naked.”

You both laughed at your words, and he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing toned muscles you loved so much. You hummed in delight at the sight, and he blushed lightly at your reaction.

“Can I touch you?” His fingers danced near your inner thighs making you ache for the obvious.

You took a shaky breath, nodding slowly and taking his free hand in yours. You laced your fingers with his as he slowly pushed two fingers inside of you.

His fingers were bigger than yours, longer, and they reached more than you ever could. You whimpered at the feeling of him curling them ever so slightly before beginning to pump them in and out of you.

You squeezed his hand, overcome with pleasure, but he paused, afraid that he had hurt you. “Was it to much?” He quickly retracted his fingers but you grabbed for his wrist.

“No, need more J. Please more.”

His eyes locked with yours, and for a moment you swore he was the most attractive person alive. He inserted three fingers his time, and you clawed at his bicep at the feeling of fullness. The stretch burned, but the pleasure overshadowed it.

You knew you wouldn’t last long as he pumped his fingers in and out of you, curling against your g-spot. He flipped his hand, creeping his thumb up to toy with your clit as he continued rocking his fingers in and out of you.

You threw your head back, eyes fluttering closed as your orgasm came over you. You rocked your hips into him, whimpering and begging for him to continue.

He placed his fingers into his mouth, licking and sucking your juices off of them. Blue eyes meeting yours, he rubbed your hip, helping you calm down from your high. “You were so hot. We don’t have to go any further if you don’t want to, baby.”

You sat up slowly, taking his lips with yours in a chaste kiss. Your hand met his cock over his pants, feeling the definite wet spot at the tip. He tried to muffle a groan at the feeling of your hand on him, but it slipped out anyway. “J, you’re so hard. I wouldn’t leave you that way. I told you I wanted you. I’m ready for all of it.”

Without another word you were both pulling his pants and boxers down. This being the first time you had seen his cock fully, you gawked at it a bit.

He laughed at your obvious staring, taking your hand in his once again. “I’ll go slow baby, I promise.”

You leaned back, and he placed a pillow under your hips to alleviate any pressure.

You weren’t nearly as nervous as you thought you’d be. You were terrified that your first time would be an awkward mess, something you’d just want to forget and get over with. This was nothing like that. This was a beautiful moment with your boyfriend, your best friend, the person you trusted most in the world. You could laugh while naked with him and not ruin any part of the moment.

He rubbed the back of your hand with his thumb and leaned down to place a kiss on your forehead. “I’m gonna do it now, okay? Tell me if it’s too much.”

You held your breath, and he lined himself up with your hole. Slowly, he pushed the tip in. The feeling was foreign, and you were so overwhelmed.

He squeezed your hand, pushing in a bit more. You hissed at the feeling, the stretching and the burning being almost more than you could bare. “You’re doing so good baby. So good for me. Not too much more.”

You nodded for him to continue, and with one thrust he pushed himself the rest of the way in. You cried out at the feeling. Not quite all pain but not yet pleasure. He shushed you, rubbing you temple.

You both relaxed their for a moment, him grinding his hips into you and you adjusting to his size. After a minute you gave him a light tap on the arm to signal him that you were ready. “You can move now. I can handle it.”

You were tight. To JJ, really, tight was an understatement. You were basically strangling him. He was determined to make your first time perfect, but if you didn’t relax he wasn’t so sure how long this could go on for.

Pulling out, he moaned loudly at the feeling of you gripping his cock, coaxing him back in. “Baby please, you have to relax. You’re so tight.”

He leaned down into you, pushing back in all the way, and you moaned at the fullness of him inside you. He held you with one hand under your waist, and pressed his face into the crook of your neck.

He continued his slow thrusts, muttering quiet ‘I love you’s’ and praises in your ear and you moaned a chorus for him. A feeling was beginning to build in you, different than the one you had felt before.

“J, I think I’m close. Feels weird, feels good.” You cried out loudly, biting into his shoulder as you rocked your hips to meet his thrusts.

His pace increased almost two times its original speed, and you felt that coil start to snap. You whined loudly for him, and his thrusts stayed unwavering.

In seconds you were cumming for him, as you felt the unfamiliar sensation of him finishing inside you. His body stilled, overcome with pleasure as you both finished together. He whimpered into your shoulder, “So good baby, did so good for me. Felt so good.”

You felt the warmth between your legs begin to drip down the inside of your thighs, and the blond pulled away from you, shaking slightly.

He reached for your nightstand, pulling out some wipes to clean you off with, taking extra care to be gentle with your now sore parts.

He dressed you after dressing himself, planting a kiss atop your head. “You were amazing baby. Did so good. I’m gonna get you some snacks and water and then we can finish the movie. Just relax here for now.”

You watched as your boyfriend walked out into the hallway, content with your place now tucked under the blankets. You looked back to the TV screen, seeing that the movie had been playing the whole time. You were sure your boyfriend knew exactly where you had left off, and where to rewind to.

You giggled to yourself, hearing his footsteps running up the stairs, humming to himself. You wondered really how you got so lucky.

#outer banks #outerbanks #obx jj #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #obx netflix #obx2 #obx imagine #obx #obx smut #obx season 3 #obx fic #obx3 #obx pogues #obx x reader #rudy pankow

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teacasket · 9 months

Text

august

genre: angst au: high school au, summer love au warnings: swearing word count: 0.8k pairing: gn!reader x lee minho song: august by taylor swift mini series: cruel summer // august // betty // cardigan // the 1 a/n: the reader for this is not the same reader for betty or cardigan. this reader is minho’s summer friend.

SO MUCH FOR SUMMER LOVE AND SAYING “US”

This love has been living on borrowed time. You knew that the night you kissed Minho, his lips sticky with the bubblegum bubble you popped. It was a stupid decision, yet he kissed you back.

Kissed you until your lip gloss got lost among the splatter, until the remnants of his strawberry-flavored gum found their way into your mouth, until you both forget how quickly this has to end.

That didn’t seem to matter. Sand dune chats and bottled sunscreen burnished the days golden, pilfered wine and tangled bedsheets left the nights in a thick haze. Walks on the pier became a ritual, and you eagerly waited for him on the bench underneath the streetlight every evening. Whenever he draped his arm across your shoulders, you knew you had him. After many summers of pining, Minho is finally yours.

You throw his duffel bag into the trunk of his parents’ minivan. Suitcases pile on top of one another, and last-minute miscellaneous items have been shoved into tight corners. For the next nine months, his family’s beach house will sit empty and you’ll drive past it every day when you go to school. It’ll be your only connection to him in your hometown.

“You’ll call me, right?” you ask him. “Being busy with a school isn’t an excuse because I know you don’t do homework.”

“I finished all my summer reading. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You groan, eliciting a smile from him. “Call me, okay? I wanna hear all about your fancy high school and your city friends. You never tell me anything. C’mon. It’s not fair at this point.”

“Alright,” he laughs, putting his hands up in defense, “I will. I’ll see you next year.”

Barely audible over the breeze, you say, “I’ll miss you.”

“Here’s something to remember me by then.”

He tosses you a half-empty pack of his signature bubblegum, and you catch it with two hands. You could buy this at any surf shop, but you can’t help but hold it close to your heart. When you wave goodbye to him and his family, the gum burns in your palm, reminding you that he’s still with you. You won’t chew on any of the gum; you’ll leave it in your nightstand drawer, look at it every night, and wonder how why you didn’t kiss Minho sooner.

For two weeks, you wait for him to call you. He sends curt texts every once and while about being busy unpacking or getting ready for his classes, and you reply with updates about your own life. The ice cream parlor’s new seasonal flavors, the mind-numbing chapters you have to read for English, and the seagull you fended off are just a few of the stories you send.

However, you can’t wait forever. You’re so relieved when he picks up.

“Hey! How’ve you been? I missed you.”

Something rustles on his end, muffling his voice. “Hey. Uh, been better, I guess. First week of classes, so you know.”

“Oh, I forgot you start earlier than us. First week isn’t too bad, right? Just syllabi and introductions. So, any plans for a Friday night? If not,” you slyly say, “you can come visit me for the weekend. There’s hardly anyone in town, so we can try all those tourist trap restaurants you wanted to go to.”

“That sounds fun, but I can’t. I'm heading to a party right now, so I’ll call you back?”

You feel yourself wilting but put on a bright voice for him. “Yeah, sure! Tell me everything tomorrow. Have fun.”

He ends the call, and you sink into your mattress. It’s too early to go to bed, but part of you wants to sleep the time away. Instead, you sneak downstairs to the kitchen and pour yourself a cup of red wine. Something light, something to remind yourself of Minho. You scroll on your phone until your eyelids droop and then curl into bed. Your dreams are sweet, ocean waves and Minho kissing you relentlessly.

Even though Minho said he would call tomorrow, your phone vibrates, the name minho lighting up the room.

“Hi,” you whisper, trying to conceal your sleepiness. "How was the party?”

“I got back together with my ex—”

“What?” You didn’t know he had an ex. You never even knew he had dated someone before.

“—so this is it for us. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but the party and—”

You hang up and stare at the ceiling, now fully awake. Tears well up in your eyes and glide down your cheeks when you blink. Your face grows hot. Are you sad? Embarrassed? Angry? You can’t tell, and that somehow makes everything worse. You loved him for ten years and only had him for June, July, and August.

Only for the summer.

‘CAUSE YOU WEREN’T MINE TO LOSE.

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peterparkers-bad-youtube-apology · 1 year

Text

Rogue Wave

Wipeout - Chapter 8

Pairing: Surfer!Tom Holland x Reader

A/N: Hi lovelies! I’m gonna try and slam out these last few chapters since they’re all almost done already. I hope you guys like it! Feedback is always appreciated and encouraged, love you all!

Warnings: A touch of angst, jealousy

Summary: Tom has a terrible day

Taglist

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

❀ ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

“I don’t wanna go to work,” you whined, throwing your head down into your mattress after you checked the time.

“I won’t object to you calling out,” Tom hummed.

“I can’t, Anya would kill me,” you rolled onto your back rather dramatically, “I have to go shower, I’ll try to be fast so we can finish this episode before I go.”

“Oh so I have to suffer because you have to work?” he raised a brow.

You nodded, “Yeah, because it wouldn’t be watching a show together if you watched it without me,” you stuck out your tongue as you crawled over him and out of the bed.

You two had started binging Chainsaw Man after an early morning surf session. You’d been hoping you could catch up before you had to go to work, but unfortunately duty called about halfway through the latest episode. So you left Tom alone on your bed while you got ready. He stared at your laptop for a minute, debating how angry you’d be with him if he finished the episode without you before ultimately deciding it was best to turn his attention to his phone.

Tom had only got to scroll through a few TikToks before a familiar ping forced his eyes back to the computer. The first few lines of an email were visible at the top of the screen. Tom squinted as he read over them, his heart stopped as he read over the name. It was the firm you’d applied to in London, but with just the first few lines he couldn’t tell if it was a good or bad email. He clicked on the notification, disregarding the nagging feeling that it was wrong for him to do so. His eyes scanned the email quickly, part of him wanted to find a yes. He wanted you to exceed in everything you did and be successful, but he was selfish. What he really wanted to find was a no, confirming that you wouldn’t be moving away from him.

Luckily the universe didn’t care about Tom’s more selfish desires and he found the email was a congratulatory one. The internship was yours if you wanted it, and while he was happy for you, it was a nightmare for Tom. His stomach flip flopped uncomfortably, a sudden wave of nausea hit him, it was like the whole room was spinning. He had no idea how to cope with even the thought of you moving away. Sure you said you didn’t want to move, but he couldn’t be sure you’d still feel that way after you found out you actually got it. It would be a dream come true for you, of course you’d want to go.

As he stared at the screen the idea of deleting the email crossed his mind. It wasn’t that he wanted to hurt you or sabotage you, he just didn’t want anything to change. He wanted to erase the idea of moving from both of your minds and just keep everything exactly how it was. Maybe if he were a worse person he could have erased the email, but he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if he did something to sabotage your future. Unlike Tom you had plans for your future, you had specific goals you wanted to reach and you knew what you needed to do to get there. The internship was the best move for you and your career, and there was no way Tom couldn’t support you in that. He was selfish and hedonistic, but he cared about you too much not to put you first. He just wanted you to stay with him. He hated the thought that he’d end up just a memory to you, just some boy you hooked up with one summer. You two were supposed to be together always, things just worked best that way.

Tom pushed your laptop closed and rolled onto his back. He felt guilty just for having the thought, and he was worried about what would happen when you left the shower. You’d obviously be excited and he’d have to force himself to be happy for you, as much as he wanted to just tell you to forget it. He thought about what he could say or do if you told him you were going to take it. The thought alone made his chest ache and his cheeks burn.

“Oh come on, I was gone for like ten minutes, you better not have passed out,” you scoffed as you returned from the bathroom.

Tom had been completely lost in his own thoughts, taking no notice that you’d already left the shower, “Sorry, I promise I wasn’t sleeping,” he sat up. You’d already dressed yourself in a pair of shorts and a bikini top. He watched as you pulled a shirt over your head and began packing your bag, “I, uh, accidentally opened your email, sorry, the notification just popped up…”

“Oh, whatever, I don’t care,” you shrugged it off and glanced at him with a little smirk, “Was it a steamy Adam and Eve email?”

He hummed and nodded, “No, uh, I think you should probably just open it.”

You knit your brows, Tom didn’t get nervous often, it made you suspicious, “What is it?”

“Just open it,” he pushed the laptop across the bed towards you.

“Okay…” you opened the computer and began reading the email.

Tom watched your face flash from confusion to excitement in a matter of seconds. A big smile overtook your lips and you slammed your hand over your mouth, “I got the internship,” you stated in disbelief.

“Yeah, you did,” he did his best to sound excited, but he wasn’t sure he was faking it very well.

“Holy shit…” you kept gaping at your computer, “Holy shit I actually got it,” you turned your attention to him, smiling wider than he’d ever seen, “Oh my god I can’t believe I actually got it, this is like… Holy shit,” you stepped back from the computer, your eyes started to water and you made a quick move to wipe them, “I’m so happy.”

It was a bittersweet moment. Of course Tom was happy for you and it made him so happy to see you so excited, he just dreaded what it meant for the future.

“Of course you got it, I told you would,” he stood, “Congratulations.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck, jumping and squealing excitedly, “I’m so happy Tom, you have no idea,” you had to wipe your eyes again as you looked back at the computer, “I just can’t believe this, it’s like, the best thing that’s ever happened to me!”

He couldn’t help smiling when he saw you so happy, “Well you deserve it, you work harder than anyone.”

You hugged him again, this time pressing your lips to his excitedly. He was happy to catch you and kiss you and hold you close. He just couldn’t help himself from asking about what was to come though, “So you think you’ll take it?”

He was anxious for you to answer, but you were too elated to really consider the question.

“Yes, no, maybe, who cares!” you sighed happily, “I’m just so happy right now, it’s so validating and just… I don’t know, it just feels like I’m really doing the right thing, like I’m really gonna be able to do this…”

“I could have told you that anytime Flower,” he smiled back at you, “I’m really proud of you.”

Your cheeks flushed and you pulled him down to kiss you again, “I love you!” you declared before snatching your laptop off your bed, “I’m gonna go tell Grace, she’s gonna freak!”

You ran off, leaving an absolutely stunned Tom all alone in your room. It hit him like a brick wall. Of course he loved you, and he knew you loved him. You were best friends after all, but you hadn’t said it out loud to each other. It was an excited outburst on your end, but he couldn’t help imagining a confession. It was just so strange to hear you say it. He told his other friends he loved them, and he never flinched when Harrison or Grace or anyone else told him they loved him. It was just a little different with you, because your relationship wasn’t just friendship, not really. There was something deeper than that, something deeper than just sex. Saying I love you couldn’t be platonic, not when it was you and him.

“Fuck,” Tom sat on the edge of your bed and gripped the edge of your mattress.

He thought back to when you’d decided to see each other exclusively, when he’d accused you of catching feelings. You weren’t the problem though, he was. He knew it now and he had known it then too, he was just in denial. He denied being jealous about Riley and Adrien too, but deep down he knew the truth. He just hated the idea of you being with anyone but him.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard you and Grace start yelling from across the hall. Rather than face his own feelings or try to sort himself out he got off the bed and went to join you. He leaned in the doorway while the two of you jumped around and squealed and hugged. Grace started tearing up and you spun each other around like some cheesy sitcom. Tom just smiled. He was happy he was there to see such a happy moment of yours. Whatever was going on with him was his problem, and he’d sort out his feelings some other time.

তততততততততততত

Tom had gotten pretty emotional on his short drive home. His mind was reeling with what ifs and he wanted nothing more than to just shut it off. So he started packing up his surfboard as soon as he got home, hoping to hit the waves and clear his mind. He was planning on driving up to little north beach he sometimes took you to in hopes that he’d be the only one there. Harrison was at work and Adrien had been in his room when he got home so neither of them would try to tag along. Which was perfect, the last thing he wanted was to talk to anyone.

“Hey Tom,” Adrien stepped out into the garage while Tom was trying to quickly clean his board, “Can we talk for a minute?”

Tom fought the urge to roll his eyes. He didn’t want to talk to anyone at the moment, but especially not him, “What’s up?”

“You know I’ve been thinking about the other days a-”

“I was kind of a dick, I know, sorry,” he apologized quickly, hoping to end the interaction as quickly as possible, “And I’m sorry for cutting you off too. I was just in a bad mood after all the flying.”

Adrien nodded, “Right, I get that…” he trailed off for a second, “Are you good man? You seem a little rushed. If you're running late or something I can just catch you later...”

“I’m fine,” he forced a smile, “There’s just supposed to be some really good waves tonight, I’m anxious to get out there.”

“I’ll make it fast then,” he cleared his throat, “Thanks for apologizing, I know I was kind of prying too, I shouldn't have done that, it’s just that…” he trailed off again, “Look you were right, I’m into (y/n). I just didn’t want to make things weird you know?”

Tom pursed his lips. He was tempted to yell, he couldn’t blame Adrien for developing feelings for you, but it still pissed him off, “Yeah, I figured. No offense, but you don’t hide it very well.”

“I know,” his cheeks tinted a few shades darker, “Look man, I was just trying to figure out what’s going on with you two cause I’m into her, and I wanna ask her out. I know you guys were hooking up and I wanted to make sure it was just that before I made any sort of move. And you know, I figured I should make sure that’s cool with you first so there’s not any sort of weird tension in the house,” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s not cool with me,” Tom gritted his teeth. He really wanted to yell at him but he tried his best to stay composed, “You barely know her, you just think she’s pretty.”

“That’s not true, we hung out while you and Haz were gone,” he argued, “I mean I always thought she was pretty sure, but helping her with all her application stuff made me really into her. I don’t know her as well as you sure, but the whole point of dating is to get to know someone better.”

“Well if you want my approval or something it’s not happening,” he shook his head and grabbed his board off the table, walking away to go strap it to his car. He hoped that would be the end of it.

“Why not?” Adrien pressed, “I mean I get it if you have feelings for her or something but-”

“I don’t,” he denied it quickly.

“Right, you’ve said that,” he pursed his lips, “I’m not gonna hurt her or anything if that’s what you're worried about.”

“Well that wasn’t even a thought until you brought it up,” he scoffed, “I think it’s a bad idea. Like you said, it’ll just make things tense. I’m not trying to be a douche here Adrien, just don’t do it. It’s not a good idea.”

“I wouldn’t be weird about it Tom, I know you guys were hooking up, it doesn’t bug me.”

“You’re saying that like you already know she’ll say yes,” Tom looked down at him from the top of his Jeep, “What I mean is that it’ll be weird and tense when she turns you down and then she comes over to see me. It’s best if you just try to move on.”

“You don’t know that,” he bit back.

“I do actually, so just drop it,” Tom swung into the driver's seat of his car, “Like I said, I don’t wanna be a douche here, but I will if you don’t back off.”

“Oh don’t worry you already are,” Adrien crossed his arms, “Whatever man, I was just giving you a heads up.”

Tom laughed. The idea of you two going out was so absurd to him that he didn’t know what else to do, “Right, well you let me know how that goes for you.”

“Yeah, whatever, have fun out there.”

“Oh I will,” he flashed a condescending smile, “I’ll see you when I get home.”

Adrien walked back inside without another word.

next chapter

❀ ゜.・゜-: ✧ :-　　-: ✧ :-゜・．゜❀

Taglist:

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cutest-big-dragon · 11 months

Text

Anhedonia & Apathy playlist:

Title - Artist format

Give me ideas for songs to add/remove!

I just don't care that much - Matt Maeson

Me and my friends are lonely - Matt Maeson

Hallucinogenics - Matt Maeson

Under my skin - Jukebox the ghost

This is love - Air traffic controller

Choke - I DON'T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Lent - Autoheart

Agoraphobia - Autoheart

Sweet Hibiscus Tea - Penelope Scott

Is this what you wanted - Grandson

Great vacation - Dirt poor robins

Do I wanna know? - Arctic monkeys

Why'd you only call me when you're high? - Arctic monkeys

Achilles come down - GANGOFYOUTHSBAND

Sweater weather - The neighborhood

Pigeon - Cavetown

Home - Cavetown

Devil town - Cavetown

Poison - Stick and poke

21 guns - Green day

Breezeblocks - Alt-J

Stolen dance - Milky chance

Black hole sun - Soundgarden

Blackboard.edu - Arlie

Didya think - Arlie

Big Fat Mouth - Arlie

Tossing and turning - Arlie

Too long - Arlie

Water damage - Arlie

Freaks - Surf Curse

Why do you feel so down? - Declan McKenna

Chasing cars - Snow patrol

Mr Loverman - Ricky Montgomery

Line without a hook - Ricky Montgomery

This December - Ricky Montgomery

Can't the future just wait - Kaden MacKay

Blow my brains out - Tikkle Me

Washing machine heart - Mitski

Nobody - Mitski

Lost kitten - Metric

Birds (feat. Terrence Williams Jr) - Thomas Sanders

Misanthropic drunken loner - Days N' Daze

Oh Ana - Mother mother

Hayloft - Mother mother

It's alright - Mother mother

The stand - Mother mother

Verbatim - Mother mother

Temple grandin - AJJ

Candy jail - AJJ

Sick boi - Ren

Money game - Ren

HMU - Tobias Dray

Still feel. - Half•alive

Arrow - Half•alive

Creature - Half•alive

What's Wrong - Half•alive

The fall - Half•alive

Tip toes - Half•alive

Aawake at night - Half•alive

Young - Vacations

Chasin' Honey - Wild Party

Icarus - Jason Webly

Map - Jason Webly

Dance while the sky crashes down - Jason Webly

Last song - Jason Webly

Love me, normally - Will Wood

Kombucha - Winnetka Bowling Leauge

Curses - The crane wives

Tongues & Teeth - The crane wives

Wolf - First aid Kit

Interpol - Evil

I think I like when it rains - WILLIS

Space song - Beachhouse

I'd rather sleep - Kero Kero Bonito

Flamingo - Kero Kero Bonito

Safe and sound - Capital cities

THE BOTTOM - MICHELLE

As the world caves in - Matt Matlese

Everything's Fine (Nuke Song) - Roe Kapera

Hello my old heart - The oh hellos

Constellations - The oh hellos

Trying my best - Anson Sebra

"Two" - Sleeping at last

Two Birds on a wire - Regina Spektor

Wittgenstein's Arm - Niel Halstead

I see fire - Ed Sheeran

Float on - Modest mouse

No children - The mountain goats

This year - The mountain goats

Up the wolves - The mountain goats

Steal smoked fish - The mountain goats

Going to Georgia - The mountain goats

Damn these vampires - The mountain goats

Woke up new - The mountain goats

Love love love - The mountain goats

Old college try - The mountain goats

Twin size mattress - The front bottoms

THE EDGE - Panicland

Let me down slowly - Alec Benjamin

Water fountain - Alec Benjamin

If I killed someone for you - Alec Benjamin

Gabriel - Alec Benjamin

Paper crown - Alec Benjamin

I'm not a cynic - Alec Benjamin

Must've been the wind - Alec Benjamin

If we have each other - Alec Benjamin

Gotta be a reason - Alec Benjamin

Outrunning Karma - Alec Benjamin

Boy in the bubble - Alec Benjamin

Sleepwalk - Forrest Day

Handlebars - Flobots

Stuff is way - They might be giants

Ship in a bottle - Fin

Far from home (The Raven) - Sam Tinnesz

Trouble's coming - Royal blood

Can't stop - Red hot chili peppers

Californification - Red hot chili peppers

Under the bridge - Red hot chili peppers

Snow (hey oh) - Red hot chili peppers

Otherside - Red hot chili peppers

Scar Tissue - Red hot chili peppers

Wonderwall - Oasis

Might be right - White reaper

Cyr - Smashing pumpkins

The middle - Jimmy eat world

Say it ain't so - Weezer

Dissolve - Absofacto, NITESHIFT

Kids - MGMT

Little dark age - MGMT

Overwhelmed - Royal & the serpent.

Cradles - Sub urban

Out of style - The wrecks

This life I have - The wrecks

Freaking out - The wrecks

Typical story - Hobo Johnson

Peach scone - Hobo Johnson

Subaru Crosstreck XV - Hobo Johnson

Uglykid (ft. Elohim) - Hobo Johnson

I want a dog - Hobo Johnson

Moverawayer - Hobo Johnson

My therapist - Hobo Johnson

All in my head - Hobo Johnson

Trashbag baby - SWMRS

Cash machine - Oliver Tree

Miracle Man - Oliver Tree

Alien boy - Oliver Tree

Upside down - Oliver Tree

Introspective - Oliver Tree

Life goes on - Oliver Tree

All that - Oliver Tree

Enemy - Oliver Tree

Let me down - Oliver Tree

Hurt - Oliver Tree

Slingshot - Goodkid

Die happy - DREAMERS

Dead inside - Younger Hunger

Dying in a hot tub - Palaye royale

Lonley - Palaye royale

Terrible things - Brick + Mortar

War - GRMLN

Pretty little head - Eliza Rickman

Better. - Super Whatevr

Runs in the family - Amanda Palmer

Oh, death - SUGR

Better than me - Brobecks

Are you bored yet? (ft. Clario) - Wallows, Clario

Messy - Twin XL

Elevate - Public Theatre

1000 - Your neighbors

Fools - ufo ufo

Dirty imbecile - The happy fits

Dirty night clowns - Chris Garneau

Bridges & Balloons - The Decemberists

Constantinople - The Decemberists

Downhill - Lincoln

Here we go again - Tea

Ally - We the kings

It rains in nyc - Dalynn

The fox - North bloom

Mississippi Swells - Nana Grizol

Cemetery - COIN

Felt like I had died - Left at London

Angel eyes and basketball - Foot Ox

I've been dead all day - Bayside

Wait a minute - WILLOW

High dive - WHY?

Echo in the corner of the room - The frights

I'm gonna win - Rob Cantor

Holy fuck I'm finally done thank god

Fun music tho <3

#music #playlist #mental health #vent

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the-iceni-bitch · 3 years

Text

Let’s Make a Mess

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x fem!Reader (OTP)

Summary: You’re right in the middle of your period when Ransom wants some lovin’.

A/N: I watched Ali Wong’s special Hard Knock Wife ans there a little anecdote towards the end that immediately brought to mind our OTP so I had to knock this out. Was originally gonna include the actual smut but that got a little weird. Maybe I’ll add it later. I’m of course tagging my OTP babes @chrissquares @stargazingfangirl18 @subtlebucky @egcdeath

Warnings: explicit language, period stuff, mentions of period sex and oral sex, 18+ ONLY

It was day three of shark week, and Ransom had decided he needed to see you.

You’d spent the first two days curled up with your heating pad and a never ending supply of tea and now you were feeling up to fooling around a little. Which was good because Ransom had been bitching about not seeing you for the past 36 hours.

“Hey babe.” He called after walking through your front door, tossing his coat over the back of your couch as he started to search for you.

“I’m in the bedroom!” You called, frowning as you slid into a pair of leggings.

“Perfect.” He muttered, grinning to himself as he strode through your condo, pulling his sweater off on the way. “I’ve missed you so fucking much.”

“God, Ransom!” You yelped as he curled around you from behind and buried his face in your neck, his hands coming up to palm your breasts harshly. “It’s only been two days!”

“It’s too long.” He mumbled, throwing you on the bed and climbing on top of you. “Need to be inside you all the damn time.”

He didn’t give you a chance to respond before his mouth was devouring yours, tugging at your lips insistently with his teeth as he slid his tongue against your own.

“Ran, Ransom wait.” You murmured as he moved his lips to your neck, sucking a bruise against your throat as he slid his hands down your sides and ground against you.

“What? Baby I just wanna make you feel good.” He whispered against the shell of your ear while he ripped open your blouse.

“And, god, I really appreciate that sweetie.” You purred as he rubbed his erection against your clit. “But I was thinking I could just suck that pretty cock of yours.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna do it for me.” He growled, tucking his hand under your ass and pressing you into him further as you whined. “Wanna feel that perfect pussy strangle my cock.”

“Shit, Ransom.” You muttered as he tried to slide his fingers under your leggings. “I’m on my period.”

“What?!” He said, pulling back and gazing at you. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, Hugh, I’m seriously on my period.” You said as you rolled your eyes at him. “Didn’t you wonder why I was putting you off for the past few days?”

“I mean, kind of.” He said as he chewed on his lip, still pinning you to the mattress. “I thought maybe I had done something to piss you off.”

“If that happened, I would’ve let you know.” You huffed at him, drumming your fingers on his biceps. “Just my period though.”

“Right.” He muttered before he broke out in a wicked grin. “Let’s make a fucking mess then baby.”

“WHAT?!?!” You shrieked, cackling as he ripped your blouse off and buried his face in your tits. “Ransom, I swear to god, if this is a joke, I’m going to kill you.”

“Not a joke babe.” He murmured as he pressed soft kisses to each of your breasts before standing up and walking to the bathroom. “I’m gonna grab a towel.”

You just laid there panting as he rifled through your linen closet. You felt lightheaded and a little giddy and you had to tell yourself that it was just your hormones making you crazy, not that you were absurdly turned on that your asshole boyfriend was about to fuck you while you were in the middle of surfing your crimson tide.

He came back with a towel and the wastebasket from your bathroom and gripped both of your ankles, lifting you up and sliding the towel underneath you before ripping your leggings and panties off and kneeling between your thighs. You moaned as he ran his hands over the inside of your thighs, grazing his thumbs over your puffy lips as gazed at you.

“You look so good, sweetheart.” He said, sucking his bottom lip between his teeth as he moved to undo his fly and step out of his jeans. “Can’t wait to pull out that tampon and replace it with my dick.”

You had to clap your hands over your mouth as you started laughing hysterically, the sensations running through your body making you feel insane as you felt your pussy throb with need.

“You ok, babe?” He asked as he paused he ministrations, giving you a look of concern.

“I’m, shit, I’m ok.” You said, finally starting to calm down a bit. “I just, I love you so much baby.”

“Fuck, I love you too.” He muttered, bending over to press his lips to yours softly. “Now let’s make that mess.

Tags!!!

@slothspaghettiwrites

@captain-asguard

@starlightcrystalline

@harrysthiccthighss

@quxxnxfhxll

@bonkywobble

@macgruberrr

@chubbybuckydumpling

@travistheaussie

@StanAllStarks

@dacreswhoree

@quxxnxfhxll

@slytherinandoutasgard

@blackestpinkworld

@wanderinglunarnights

@wandering-spiritash

@Cavilsgirltaurus

@bval-1

@chris-butt

@beck07990

@badbleep88

@muzzyandbusy

@sizzie9

@slytheriin2002

@isysen

@babyb3ar

@WanderingAlice00

@whxre4cevans

@harrysthiccthighss

@kaleeelizabeth58

@angrybirdcr

@Unsaltedalmonds

@amerikakapitanyy

@lizette50

@patzammit

@dwights-new-plague

@tenaciousperfectionunknown

@daughterofthenight117

@obsessivereaderchick

@before-we-get-started

@missmintyross

@mariaenchanted

@Marvel-baby

@iwanttobekilledtwice

@banditmarkymark

@wayward-blonde

@travistheaussie

@thiskindahotkindamusic

@stan-all-the-things

@drabblewithfrannybarnes

@stargazingfangirl18

@starlightcrystalline

@jack-skellingtons-stuff

@chrissquares

@msmarvelwrites

#natalie writes #chris evans #ransom drysdale x you #ransom drysdale x y/n #ransom drysdale x female reader #ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom x you #ransom drysdale fanfiction #chris evans characters

625 notes · View notes

1engele · 3 years

Text

daybreak | sal fisher x fem!reader - 3. frogger

Previous | Next

[warnings: cursing, smoking, light violence, blood]

"i don't want to be friends. i want all of you."

—

"Can I get your number?"

You and Larry both whip around to face Sal, the person who'd spoken that sentence. You're stood at the foot of Addison's Apartments.

"What?" You blink. "Me? My what?"

You assume Sal mirrors your nonplussed expression because he bats his eyes just as startled as you did. "Uh- your phone number. So we can be in touch easier. You know, for school and stuff."

Eager anxiousness in the form of butterflies batted their wings in your gut and your ribs. You reached into your back pocket, flipped your flip-phone open, and handed it toward the blue-haired boy. "Here," you blurted. "Put it in there." You gloss your eyes toward Larry. For some apparent reason, he's wearing a wide, shit-eating grin.

"You can put yours in too if you want."

He waves a tan hand. Your attention is on Larry, but it somehow drifts and you're glancing toward Sal. His veiny hands are jerking which each movement of his thumbs as he presses numbers on the keypad.

"No, that's okay," Larry replied, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "I'll get it off of Sal."

"Here," Sal holds the flip phone out to you. It's small in his hand.

He has long fingers, you thought.

"Oh, thanks." Your fingers brush his as you reclaim your phone and return it to it's place in your back pocket.

Your heart is beating unnecessarily loud by the time they've walked you to your apartment. Your hands are in your coat pockets to conceal the mild trembling in your hands. You're almost nervous that they can hear the rushing of your blood as your heart rapidly pumps it through your body—because you know you certainly can.

"I had fun today," you smiled, your expression nothing but sincerity. "Thanks for everything. I appreciate it."

Larry grins. "That's cute. No need to thank us, alright?"

You twitch the corner of your lips upward and nod towards him.

Sal tucks a strand of blue hair behind his ear—you'll never get used to the color. In a good way. You could look at it for hours—and fiddles with his backpack strap. "See you tomorrow, yeah?"

"Yeah," you respond, your teeth making an appearance. "Goodnight, you guys."

With that, you're inside of your apartment and shutting the door behind you. You hear their muffled voices and unintelligible words through the wall as they retreat from your door and towards the elevator.

You drop your bag at the door and make haste to your room. You sit on the side of your bed and hurriedly open your phone.

The first phone number you'd ever had—save your mother, which doesn't count— was "c you tomorrow :)", sitting right beneath "Mom" on the contact list. After changing his name to "Sal :)" you breathed out shakily, and slowly pushed enter on his contact.

Should you send him something? Isn't that a bit weird? You'd just seen him a few minutes ago. Should you wait a little longer? What if he's still with Larry, and they see what you'd sent a message so quickly and make fun of you?

You shake your head. That was unlikely. All they'd been was great to you.

"c you tmrw."

You inwardly linger over the thought of pressing the send button.

Why the fuck were you so nervous, anyway? Because a boy with nice hands and a pretty laugh said he'd see you tomorrow?

Yeah.. okay, maybe that was it.

"c you tmrw." The message was sent.

You slapped a hand over your face. Should you have said something else? Should you just have not texted him at all? You fell back into the mattress, draping your arm over your face and blinking into your wrist. The feeling of exhilarated dread churned in your gut.

A subtle vibration reverberated on the comforter. It buzzed in your ears momentarily. You paused, before lurching upward and snatching the phone back into your grasp.

"you too. let's try not to rouse mrs. packerton's suspicions tomorrow like we did today lol."

You grinned, and replied before you could stop yourself. "might not be possible. you may need to answer another math question for me."

Sal replied after a pause. "can't say no to that. goodnight, y/n"

You breathed out slowly, typed out a goodnight message, and slowly dropped your hands back down to the comforter.

Your fingers shook and your heart was beating itself against your rib cage. Not long after, you dozed off into sleep thinking of the way your body felt when the warmth of his palm was flush against the nape of your neck.

Getting up the next day is a bit harder than getting up the previous one. You couldn't seem to rub the sleep away from your eyes, and, for some reason or another—you'd waken up in a cold sweat, and your sheets stuck to your body. Not only that, when you'd went to shower, the water was freezing, for no apparent reason. You'd come to terms with the fact that this building had multiple personalities.

Standing beneath the shower head felt like being pricked with itty-bitty pitchforks. Topped with miniature ice cubes.

You'd gotten dressed in an oversized black sweater (over a long-sleeved, black top for added warmth), along with an a-lined plaid emerald green and blue skirt on top of your sheer black tights. The skirt was not short—not amongst your standards, it was mid-thigh—but nowadays teachers were weird about how girls dressed so you'd have to keep an eye out about that.

Also, surprisingly—instead of the usual beat up and raggedy sneakers you usually wore you decided on some of your chunky Mary Janes you'd thrifted not long back. You'd never given them a go outside before. The only time they'd been worn was in your room and by yourself.

When you were fully dressed, you let yourself examine your outfit in the mirror. While doing so, your phone chimes in your hand. You snap it open hastily and read the notification.

"it's larry. sal gave me your number :P meet us outside when ur ready"

You grinned and walked out of your room. You grabbed your bag and made for the door. When you'd gotten outside, what greeted you there was not exactly what you'd expected.

"Oh! Ashley, is this yours?" You inquired, gazing over the pale silver Ford Fiesta that sat in the driveway. It was a cute car. Ash sat in the driver's seat with the window down and her forest green eyes attentive and on you.

"Yeah! My little brother had an allergic reaction while eating out at some big corporate food chain and we got it in compensation. We already have a family car so it was given to me."

What a nice story, you thought, making sure you maintained your pleasant expression.

"Oh," you passed your gaze over the vehicle again. "Cool!"

You noted Todd's place in the passenger seat. You met his eye and gently waved. He returned the wave, with that neutral look on his face he always seemed to have.

"You're going to be cold," a voice behind you says rather abruptly. You jump, whirling around.

"You scared me," you laughed, your face burning as you made eye contact with none other than Sal Fisher. "What do you mean?"

"Your skirt," he replies, glancing away momentarily. Your eyebrows raise comically.

"You don't like it?"

"No-" he rushes out, a bit too fast. "Uh, no. It's g- it's nice. I meant you're going to be cold in it."

He was right. It was nearing the end of August.

You pass your eyes over your legs, from the a-lined skirt, the sheer black tights, and the chunky Mary Janes. You return your gaze to his—not before catching a glinting glimpse of what seemed to be rings adorning his fingers—and shrugged.

"Oh well. All I'm worried about is being dress coded," you look to Larry, who's near Sal. "Good morning."

"You too," he grins. "Let's get in the car. It's chilly."

You all clamber into the backseat. You're in between Sal and Larry. Hot air blew from the car vents and hit you in the face as Ashley turned the temperature up further. While doing that, she turns on the radio and channel surfs until she's found some sort of soft rock station. She turns it up to a moderate volume.

A car freshener in the shape of a red tree dangled from the rearview mirror and swayed as Ashley put the car in reverse and pulled out of the driveway. It had a charming illustration of what resembled two strawberries on the front.

The car smelled nostalgic—like the smell of the hair on one of those Strawberry Shortcake dolls you owned as a child.

The wistful scent is abruptly overpowered by the smell of smoke and the autumn air. Larry had rolled a window down and had just lit a cigarette to your left. On your right, Sal has pulled out his flip phone and is playing some sort of shit quality version of Frogger.

Interested, you lean over.

"How'd you get that on there?"

He looks over at you. He's close. You can hear him slowly inhaling and exhaling through his nose. "Todd did it for me," Sal replies. He gestures toward you with the phone. The phone makes a sound. The digital frog had fallen into the water. "Wanna play?"

"Oh," you pause, and smile. "I like watching you."

His eyes flicker over your face. "Okay."

He returned to the game. Finally, you had an excuse to stare down at his hands. Multiple silver and black rings adorned his hands. They fit him perfectly—snug on his pretty fingers and accenting his veiny hands perfectly.

During your examination, you hadn't exactly realized it but your cheek was now flush against his shoulder and your hair was tickling his neck.

No, you weren't smelling him, but it was hard not to scent it when you inhaled through your nose. He smelled of delicate laundry detergent—fresh, clean—and of minty vanilla. Breathing that in made you feel what was probably the most at home you'd felt in months.

You glanced up from his hands, to his Adam's apple, to his prosthetic face—his gaze remained attentive on the flip phone, dark lashes moving along to accommodate his flickering eyes. You looked away before he'd noticed, and paid attention to the game.

"You're good," you commented.

He didn't reply immediately, almost as if he'd looked over at you. The side of your face remained on his shoulder and your hair still brushed against the skin on his neck.

"Well, it's only Frogger," he remarked. "I bet you're better. Try it."

The sudden scent of ashy smoke consumed your senses. Larry must have exhaled halfway inside of the car. The vapor floated for a moment before dissipating into nothing.

You took the phone from Sal's hands and shifted in your seat to sit straight up. You pressed play on the game, and within seconds your frog had fallen into the water.

"I suck."

"No, you don't. You're just not trying hard enough."

"Potato, Potahto," you reply, shortly laughing at yourself and pressing play again nonetheless.

Suddenly, the vehicle slammed to a halt. You held onto the phone tight in one hand and steadied yourself on the passenger seat in front of you with your other one.

Sal seemed to have the same idea, except he seemed to panic and had braced yourself on your knee instead. You could have sworn you saw white for a split second, your insides jumping and chills fluttering down your spine. He quickly retracted his touch, catching your eye immediately.

"Sorry," Sal uttered.

"That's okay," you'd done a fine job gathering yourself together. "Perfectly fine."

"Jesus Christ, Ash! What the hell was that?" Larry calls from your left, the cigarette between his pointer and middle fingers. He was halfway through exhaling his smoke when he spoke again. Vapor spilled from his lips as he stared at the front of the vehicle. "Trying to kill us?"

"Whoops! Sorry guys, I almost missed the red light."

"That wasn't very wise," Todd remarked from the passenger seat, turning his head to look at Ash. You couldn't help but shortly giggle, looking back down at Sal's phone.

You heard Sal slowly exhale a breath of relief beside you.

"Yeah, anything but fucking wise," Larry scoffed. "Thought I was about to die, dude."

"I said I was sorry," you could hear the roll of Ashley's eyes in her voice. "My parents would kill me if I got a ticket. Also, who told you that you could smoke in my car?"

"I did." In your peripheral vision, he was staring blankly. "What're you going to do about it?"

In the rearview mirror, Ashley squinted her eyes but said nothing.

"This is a shit show," Sal murmured, looking back to his phone in your hands. You'd returned to the game, still attempting at getting past the first level. The digital frog continuously leaped over lily pads and logs. It was almost therapeutic.

"Sorry you don't want me back here, Sal." Larry's tone had transformed from mildly annoyed to slightly bitter. His cigarette had been held unattended for a decent amount of time so it had begun to burn out. "I didn't ask to third wheel."

You blinked and convinced yourself you'd heard him wrong.

You weren't looking at Sal's face. He was silent for a few seconds.

"Just chill out, alright?"

"I'll say what I want."

"It's too early for this, Larry," Sal bit out. "Cut it the fuck out."

Your heart pumped furiously.

"Where do you want to take this, Sal?"

Ashley jumped in incredibly quick, the car jerking as she turned the wheel abruptly, pulling the vehicle into the school's parking lot. "Fuck no. What the fuck are you thinking, Larry? Going to fight Sal because you're in a pissy mood?"

"I'm not going to fucking fight him, Ashley," He shook his head. "It's just- apparently he's got some kind of vendetta against me today so I guess we could talk somewhere else-"

"That's in your head, Larry," Sal said honestly. "I don't know what makes you think I have something against you today, but I don't. I don't know how you want me to prove that to you."

Larry settles into silence as Ashley pulls the Ford Fiesta into a parking space.

"Just- put the cigarette out and calm down, okay?"

It didn't look like the smoke had much left in it, but Larry still drew one last hit out of it before he stepped out of the car and crushed it beneath his shoe. He throws his bag over his shoulder and slams the car door behind him.

You look over at Sal, who was reaching for the door handle. Ashley and Todd had already exited the vehicle, and Ashley was standing by and waiting for you both to get out so she could lock the car.

"Hey," you murmured before he could leave. The blue-haired boy turned his head and inquired you with raised eyebrows. "Try to be patient with him, when you two talk it out. I haven't known him long—but I can tell he's the sort of person that wouldn't act like that unless something's bothering him."

Sal looks down at you thoughtfully, his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. You hear him swallow thickly. "Yeah," he muttered. "He is that type of person. I'll keep that in mind. Thanks."

With that, you both exit the vehicle and Ashley locks the car. Todd and Larry had already walked up a measured distance ahead of the three of you.

"Do you know what that might have been about?" Ashley asks, directing the question toward Sal by holding eye contact with him. You walk to Sal's left, looking ahead as to not be intrusive on the conversation.

"Uh.." he trails off. A cool breeze filters past your face and legs and it makes you shiver. "Not really. Usually, it's about his mom. Whenever they've argued about something, it puts him in a bad mood."

Ashley seems to give herself a moment to reply.

"Anything else?"

Sal does the same.

"Not that I know of."

Your eyebrows twitch downward.

Ashley walks slightly ahead of the two of you. She calls your name, and you look up from the ground, startled. "How are you liking the apartments? Anytime I've been there, they're kind of creepy."

You giggle. "Yeah. You could say that. I'd say they're alright—it gets kind of cold. The water was fucking ice cold today. Could barely shower."

Ashley mirrors your laughter. "Anything else?"

You pause. "Larry has this really great treehouse. I don't know if you've been, but it's honestly pretty cool. It's homey."

She looks up to Sal in surprise. "She's already been? When did you guys show her?"

He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear. "Uh, well, we didn't necessarily show her.."

Ashley looks at you curiously. You sarcastically pout towards Sal, finding his eyes to be twinkling with amusement. "I may have broken into it."

"Oh, you didn't break into it," Sal protests, exhaling sharply through his nose in a gentle chuckle. "You just didn't realize it was inhabited."

You look towards Ashley. "Long story short—I found a cool treehouse. Thought it was abandoned. Climbed into it. Coincidentally, Sal and Larry climbed into the treehouse while I was in it. It was embarrassing."

"It wasn't. It was funny," You could hear Sal's grin. "She smoked for the first time that day."

Ashley's jaw dropped in faux-astonishment. "You've tainted her innocence."

You smile. "It was honestly kind of horrible at first."

Before you knew it, the three of you had entered the school. After a few more minutes of banter and friendly conversation, you and Sal parted ways from Ashley to head towards your first class of the day: math.

Once again, Mrs. Packerton had given the class a math sheet. For god knows why she expected you to know all of these things off of the bat and get all of the questions right with barely any assistance. You were stuck on one problem like it always went.

Someone nudged your arm. You looked to your left and smiled at who was looking at you. He glanced down at your paper. "The answer's-"

"Is there something you'd like to share with the class, Mr. Fisher?"

Fuck, you thought, slowly looking up to your elderly teacher. Glancing over to Sal, his eyebrows were raised and he peered up at the woman at the front of the classroom with something akin to surprise in his eyes. "Uh-"

Before he could explain himself, Mrs. Packerton's entire facade did a 180 and her eyebrows were suddenly furrowed and her frown was deep-set. It was almost comical, and you strained to keep the laugh in. You weren't looking to break a rib, so you unfortunately giggled beneath your breath.

Her dark brown eyes slid over to you. After a moment of being examined and feeling extremely uncomfortable, she sighed.

"I'm administering detention for both of you, after school. I will let you finish the test, but next time this happens it'll be an immediate fail for both of you. Understood?”

You and Sal exchange both equally supposed expressions, before nodding together.

Before class is over, you see Travis giving Sal another sour look. Oh my god, you thought, twirling your pencil around in between your fingers. Is this going to have to be another talk, Travis?

The bell rang. You and Sal jumped up and fled the class as quickly as you could.

"Oh my god," he breathed, as you both stepped into the hallway and began maneuvering through the countless amount of students flooding the halls. "She's super fucking scary. I was so wrong."

You abruptly laugh. "Yeah. She's got that look in her eye." You pause. "I'm sorry, Sal. You wouldn't be getting a detention if it wasn't for me."

Sal tilts his head just slightly. "It's no big deal. It was my fault, anyway. It's not like you asked for my help either times I helped you out. It's not like my dad's going to be mad, anyway—he'll probably be relieved. I've never really got detention for anything, especially involving talking to another person. Probably'll be glad I'm being more social, haha."

You frown. "I'm still sorry."

"I appreciate it, but you don't have to be-"

"If only your friend wasn't so dumb, Sally Face. It's a shame that your perfect record is all tarnished."

Sal appears as though he knew who was talking a few words in. He inhales, turns around to face the blond boy behind him, and backs up a step. "What do you want, Travis?"

Your fingernails sink into your palms. It stings. You told him yesterday!

"Nothing. Just wanna know why she's so stupid."

Sal's eyes flicker. "Mm, think you're forgetting about how close you were to failing mid-terms last year. You're not very bright yourself."

Travis grows a bit red but he looks as though he's trying to ignore his growing frustration. It boggled you—the fact he was so easy to anger because of the fact Sal was defending himself. Defending.. you?

"Whatever. Why am I fucking arguing with a fucking satan worshipper, anyway?"

That genuinely surprised you. What kind of insult was that? And where did it come from?

"Whatever, Travis. God doesn't like bullies, either. I hope you don't kiss your daddy with that mouth-"

You're glad the hall is relatively empty because the crack you hear when Travis' fist meets Sal's prosthetic face is loud and startling. Your heart is in your throat. You place your hands on Travis' chest and push him into the lockers. The metal cages rattle beneath the sudden weight.

"What the FUCK is wrong with you?" You shout, red hot anger coursing through your body and pumping through your veins. "Get the fuck away. I swear to god, I'll-"

Sal murmurs your name, gripping your wrist. "Stop. Don't push him."

You give Travis the bitchiest expression you can muster. He scoffs and walks away. You're surprised he didn't throw one last insult into the air—but he instead walked down the hall with heavy footing, turned around the corner, and disappeared.

As soon as you're done watching him down the hall, you whip around to Sal with wide eyes. He was cupping the place where the mask cut off, collecting blood that dripped down.

"He's got a mean right hook," Sal breathily laughed.

The rage you currently felt made your head hurt. You quickly grabbed him by the wrist and hurried him towards the restrooms at the opposite side of the hall. On your way, the bell rings. You couldn't care less whether or not you were going to miss your class—it's not like you didn't have detention already.

"Hey, what're you-"

You pull him into the girl's bathroom, which was empty. You make sure to turn him away from the entrance. His eyes are as wide as two dinner plates.

"Huh. Smells nice in here," he comments. The fact that's the first thing he says tells you he's clearly in shock from being clocked in the face.

You grab some paper towels and look him in the eye.

"I'm going to clean you up now,"

You reach around his head.

"Hey, I- wait, you don't-"

You unbuckle the clasps at the back of his prosthetic and pull the prosthetic off of his face. You set it aside, and set it on the edge of the sink.

He slowly meets your gaze. The amount of internal fear that's held inside of those eyes—fear you know that's been held in for so long—is astonishing to you. Your eyes soften. You slide your gaze over his face, and all you can feel is an unbelievable amount of happiness and satisfaction.

Butterflies swarm your insides and beat against your ribs at the sight of his mouth.

It's just as kissable as you'd imagined.

Shut the fuck up, you snap back at yourself. Not the time.

You're unable to hold in the large smile that grows on your lips as you bring the paper towels toward his face and wipe away the blood that dripped from his nose, down his mouth, and fell down his chin—there was so much of it that it had made its way down to the collar of his shirt, staining the material scarlet red.

"You can give that to me later," you uttered. "I know a thing or two about getting blood out of clothes, haha."

His lips twitched, but he remained silent and let you do your thing.

After thoroughly cleaning his face off, you return the prosthetic to him, handling it with care.

"Here you go."

After he'd put it on, you met his eyes.

"Hey, Sal, I'm-"

"It's okay." He peered at you sincerely. "That went.. better than I thought it would. I just hope you don't think of me differently."

The thought appalled you.

"No!" You exclaimed, a bit too forceful. You gathered your composure and tried it again. "No. Um- I could never. Seriously. Your face doesn't change who you are, Sal. It doesn't make me think of you any different. You're still you. Besides, I- um... I liked it."

His eyebrows jump and he jerks his head upward. "What?"

"I liked it. I liked your face."

He was silent like it was taking him a little bit to process that. Your eyes wandered during this time, and they landed on the collar of his shirt, again. You cursed.

"Shit. Hold on."

Suddenly, you'd crossed your arms around your midriff and began pulling the sweater upward. The noise Sal made was almost comical.

"No, uh, you don't have to! It's fine, I can-"

Before he could stop you, the shirt was up and over your chest and it was off of your head. Thank god that you'd remembered the black top beneath, or else you'd feel really bad that you couldn't give him the sweater—it wasn't like you could walk around in just a bra (as much as you'd like to sometimes.)

He grabbed the article of clothing from you, hesitant. "You're sure?"

"Yep!"

"Alright," he murmured, cautious, pulling your sweater over his head and pulling it down his torso. Once he'd done so, he looked back to your eyes and inquired you with his own. "So? What do you think?"

Heart beating so loudly it thrummed in your ears, you replied: "You've never looked better," and grinned wider than you ever have before.

#sally face #sally face x reader #sal fisher x reader

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Text

Caffeine Rush: Chapter Seven / Decaf

W/C: 4k

Warnings: language, dirty thoughts, all of the dirty thoughts because Javi is a horndog, male masturbation... general spice. pining that could make a pine cone tremble.

A/N: welcome to pining central, enjoy your stay :) (ps when Steve says “Javier Peña” I need you to read that in the voice of Anthony Mackie going “SEBASTIAN STAN”)

Previous Chapter || Next Chapter || Masterlist

ordinary coffee that has had most of its caffeine removed from it before the beans are roasted.

You are a goddamn test on Javier’s self control. He feels like those biblical stories of men fighting back against temptation to prove themselves to God, except the only thing he has to prove is to himself. To you.

He’s always been enraptured by you, captivated by your smile and laugh but since you went ice skating, he hasn’t been able to get your body out of his mind. The way you fell asleep on him last night, nuzzled in like it was the safest place on earth. He could feel your breasts press into his skin, the warmth of your thigh hiked across his abdomen. If the past week has been some caffeine-induced fever dream, it’s becoming real now. You, a figment of his imagination before, maybe, are all flesh and blood and God, is he desperate for it.

Javier hangs around your apartment when you’re gone at work. He doesn’t have much else to do, considering you’re gone and he knows hardly anything about the city. He watches the daytime television on your couch, usually meanders to the coffee shop for a drink, spends some time there, and returns to the apartment.

He feels like he’s couch-surfing, like he did for a summer in his college years. He feels guilty occupying the space in your home, especially without payment. As he walks to the bathroom, he takes a long glance into your bedroom. The queen-sized bed is mussed, unmade before you left for work. The fitted sheet is pooled in the middle beneath where you sleep, the various blankets tossed about. It looks like the coziest damn thing he’s ever seen, especially after a couple of nights on a couch.

Javier almost thinks about giving in, waiting for you to ask him to sleep in your bed tonight then jumping at the chance. Maybe he will, if he’s tired enough. Maybe he won’t, but maybe he will. He can think of nothing better than the endless whir of the radiator as your perpetually-cold body nuzzles against him, brushes your nose against his bare chest.

It’s been a long time since Javi has fucked anyone, and he’s starting to feel it. He’s a little antsy, and the image of your body, your ass as you ice skate past him, haunts him like a bad dream- or rather some illicit fantasy he knows he shouldn’t be having.

Would you want him yet? You’ve told him you love him, but that was an accident. When he kisses you, you kiss back harder. Hell, you initiated the first kiss. You seem like you’ve been all-in on this relationship, taking things at a rushed pace that Javier certainly doesn’t mind. He spends a lot of the day contemplating that, standing on the tiny balcony of your apartment and smoking a couple of cigarettes.

At this point, he needs a distraction or he’s going to have to take matters into his own hands, quite literally. What better to kill the horny buzz making his head spin than to call Murphy?

The phone is in your bedroom, on the nightstand. Javier dares to sit on the edge of your bed, and actually moans aloud at the plush comfort, the way his ass sinks into it. Goddamn, he’ll have to get one of these. He wants nothing more than to lay back and fall into the bed, wait for you to get home and pound you into the comfortable mattress. But he doesn’t. He stays strong and picks up the phone, dialing the new Murphy residence in Miami.

After a couple of rings, a familiar voice answers. “Murphy’s.”

“Hey, bastard,” Javier chuckles, and he can hear the blonde man’s laughter from across the receiver.

“Javier Peña,” Steve drawls, dragging out the name. “Good to hear your voice, man. You finally come out of a ten-day celebratory drunkenness?”

“Don’t talk to me about binges,” Javier teases, but he smiles a little. He’s missed the man. He’s glad neither of them got in any trouble over the entire Los Pepes situation- God, that feels like ages ago now. It’s hard to believe he’s only been in D.C. what, eleven days? If Steve’s math is right, yeah. “No. I’m in D.C. still, if you can believe it. Just… bored.”

“Oh really?” the man scoffs, leaning against his kitchen counter in Miami with Olivia on his hip. “And why’s that? What are you still doin’ up there anyway? Thought you were goin’ to visit the old man.”

Javier shakes his head. “Plans changed. There’s, uh… there’s a girl.”

Steve lets out a wolf whistle, laughing. “And how much does she charge a night?”

“Not one of those. She works at a coffee shop around here,” he informs him. “She’s… she’s really something. Nothing I ever thought I’d be into. She’s gorgeous, man, and so energetic all the damn time. Seems like she has an IV of coffee from her shop,” he chuckles, looking off into space. He takes a pause. Steve doesn’t speak. “I wanna be with her Steve. I don’t… I don’t know if I can go back.”

He’s silent a little longer. “This is some kind of practical joke, right?” Steve says after a beat, barely holding back a laugh. Never has Javier been so sincere, so real and honest and open. And more specifically, he’s never been like this over a girl. Almost… mushy. Soft. “Tell me more,” he says, hoping the joke will give up.

Javier talks about you, describing every little detail with a grin on his face. He tells Steve about Tie Guy and ice skating and your piece of shit car, how you can spin in circles on the ice and how you remind him of a busy little bee, fluttering about the coffee shop.

Steve is genuinely rendered speechless; a hard thing to do. He blinks down at Olivia then straight ahead at the refrigerator, covered in photos and magnets and drawings. He can’t imagine Javier ever wanting something like this, like what he and Connie have, but he sure sounds like it. “That’s… something. Good for you, Javi,” Steve chuckles, resigning to sincerity. “I’m happy for you.”

Javier grumbles back. “Don’t get too happy. I have to go back to Calí in three weeks. She doesn’t want me to leave… I don’t know what to do, Murph. I can’t bring her with, you know that, but I can’t just leave her here. And I sure as hell can’t quit.”

“You could quit.”

“I’m not going to, how’s that?” Javier huffs and crosses his arms, annoyed by Steve and his goddamn wording loopholes. “I just… fuck. I’m gonna go think about it before she gets back.”

“She comin’ to your hotel? You sure you aren’t paying per night?” He smirks.

Javier’s quiet and Steve isn’t sure what it means until he talks. “I’m, uh, staying at her place. She insisted.”

Steve whistles again. “Damn. You’re whipped, Peña. Well, I’ll let you go. Call again soon. I miss ya, bud,” he tells Javier in a moment of earnesty then hangs the phone back on the receiver, bringing Olivia to her nursery to change her diaper.

Javi sighs and falls backwards on the bed, admiring the way the mattress holds his body compared to the couch. Yeah, he’ll definitely need to sleep in here tonight or he’s going to crack his spine.

The issue will be you. He could handle it on the couch; it was like a soft, adolescent form of love, innocent and warm. Of course, it could still be the same in your bed. But would it? Is there not a different set of implications that come with the two of you sharing a bed?

Snuggling with you on the couch was nice. Wonderful, perfect even. Javier loves falling asleep with you in his arms. But in your bed, arms curled around him, maybe even being his little spoon… that perfect body pressed flush to his own, your soft ass against his groin, your breathing pushing back into his chest… that would be an entirely different thing. And he wants it, he really does, but he isn’t sure he’ll be able to control himself.

He slept like shit the last night, to be honest. You on top of him prevented him from moving, and Javier is an active sleeper. His neck was at an odd angle and his back twisted. His body feels like it did after that fight with Tie Guy. He can’t- wouldn’t- invade your privacy of your bed without you home to give him the go ahead, but he’s so damn tired. Not even the coffee helps.

So Javier indulges in one of life’s little pleasures he rarely gets to experience: a nap. Curled up on his side on the couch, blankets pulled snug around his fetal-positioned body, Javier drifts off to the sound of the noon news on the television.

That’s how you find him when you come home. He’s peacefully asleep, his lips parted and mustache moving with his exhales. Well, he’s clearly alive. That’s good.

You’re not sure how long he’s been asleep, so you leave him, making yourself something to eat in the kitchen. You avoid the living room as you get settled in, changing out of your espresso-stained clothing and into something more comfortable.

When you’re all comfy, makeup removed and a warm sweater on, you sit at the other end of the couch. Javier’s curled into a ball, his feet just inches away from your legs. You hope when he moves, he’ll feel you there and wake. If not, oh well. He deserves the rest.

It’s gray and cloudy outside, and you snuggle into the corner of the couch while reading your worn copy of The Great Gatsby. It’s the one you’ve been re-reading recently, what you were reading that first day Javi wandered into your coffee shop and subsequently your life.

Javi wakes not long later, maybe half an hour, to the sound of your book crinkling. The paperback’s spine crunches with wear, and his eyes flutter open to see you tucked against a pillow. God, you look like an angel, the light from the cloudy day filtering in and illuminating you from the back. Your face is calm and peaceful, focused as your eyes trace the words of F. Scott Fitzgerald. “Hi,” Javier mumbles groggily.

Your expression turns to a smile and you set down the book. “Hey.” You take his legs and drape them across your lap, tracing your fingers across them. “How’d you sleep?”

He groans. “Okay. Neck hurts.”

“That wouldn’t be an issue if you’d just sleep with me,” you sing-song to him, stroking his legs through the comfortable pants he wears. “My bed is super cozy.”

God, does Javier know it. It felt like your love itself when he laid down and the warmth of it swallowed him, practically whole. “Maybe I’ll give in,” he sighs, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. “How was work? Sorry I didn’t visit.”

“Boring as always,” you chuckle. “What did you do today?”

Javi frowns as he thinks about it, his brain fogged with sleep. “Not much. Called Murphy, talked a while. He’s doing good.”

“Good,” you nod and smile. “When will I get to meet this elusive Steve?” You ask, softly kneading at his legs through the blanket and frowning as you realize he’s wearing… jeans. “Wait, pause. Are you seriously wearing jeans?” you ask him and laugh, lifting the blanket to confirm what you already suspected.

He frowns defensively, crossing his arms. “Maybe.”

“Why the fuck would you take a nap in jeans, Javi?” You laugh.

Javier looks away, frowning. The stubbornness shows. “I don’t own many comfortable clothes besides what I wear to work, if you haven’t noticed,” he retorts, but you can’t help but giggle. “Plus I thought I’d only be here to get fired.”

You smile at him lovingly and cup his face. “You sweet, stupid workaholic. Let’s go shopping later, get you some cozy stuff.”

Javier warms against your touch but maintains a pout. “I like jeans.”

Rolling your eyes, you huff out a laugh. “Would a pair of sweatpants be detrimental to your wardrobe, Javier?”

“Stop using big words,” he groans. “I’m barely awake.”

The large mall is annoying to Javier, full to the brim with last-minute (or maybe prepared, he never holiday-purchases) shoppers. He holds your hand, shooting feisty glares at anyone that dares to bump against his or, god forbid, your side. “Relax,” you tease and squeeze his free hand. The other carries a bag containing two hoodies, three t-shirts, and two pairs of sweatpants. “You’re not on a mission, and you certainly don’t have the knuckles to pitch another fight.”

He looks at his hands and scowls. You’re right. They’re no longer black and blue but faded yellows and greens, a spare bit of purple over the bones. The fight wasn’t that long ago, really, even though it feels like an eternity.

You drag Javier into a favorite shop of yours. He follows you around like a lost puppy while you search through clothes. He even hands you one or two tops he thinks you’d look nice in. You kiss him on the cheek and he dares to smile for a moment before returning to his stone-faced annoyance at such a packed area.

The dressing rooms are nicer, much more spaced out and offering places to rest. Javier sits in a chair across from your little cubby as you try things on. Every time you find something, you come out and model it for him. He comments, always positively, gives a little applause and smiles at the twirl you give in the big trifold mirror.

There’s one pair of leggings that hug your ass tight. Javier nearly salivates at them. “I like those,” he comments. “They look comfortable.” The same follows with a pair of jeans, even more flattering. He crosses his legs and nods, giving you similar comments.

Then come the dresses and tops. They’re all low-cut, not the wintery clothing Javier’s always seen you in. They show off your cleavage, and one scarlet colored blouse with a low neckline and fluffy sleeves makes Javier’s eyes simultaneously light up and darken. “How’s this one?” You ask, tugging at the sleeves.

“How much is it?” He asks, leaning back and looking at you through lidded eyes.

“Uh…” you tell him the cost and look back up at him, expecting a comment. “Why?”

“I’m buying that for you myself,” he smirks up at you, eyeing you up and down in a way that makes your skin feel intensely hot. The sight is stunning to him, and your flustered smile makes the smirk a little more devilish.

Javier does end up buying you the shirt, and you purchase a few other things you liked. But that scarlet shirt is stuck on Javier’s mind in replay: the subtle valley between your tits, how they filled out the shirt just perfectly and tugged at the cloth covering them, the way they look painfully soft to the touch, especially through that soft fabric. He wonders if you were wearing a bra under it. Then he has to stop himself.

You eat dinner late, chatting mindlessly over everything and nothing. Javier has no work to speak of now, so he tells you tall tales of the hunt for Escobar, some exaggerated and some underplayed. He mainly listens to you, asks about your past and your future, your family and your job. He could never tire of your voice, the soothing lull that warms him from the inside out, just like your skin flushed in that goddamn red top.

He drives the both of you home, humming softly to the songs on the radio. He’s beginning to recognize more and more of the top-40 hits on a certain preset station, songs he’d never listen to on his own. He glances over at you, gazing out of the window, and feels his body warm again- not just in his heart, but his stomach and lower too. He dares to steal a glance down, at the soft swell of your tits in that sweater. God, he wants to get you naked.

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t know what you want and he’s too afraid to ask, too afraid to shatter this blissful phase of adoration without the sexual attraction. He wonders if you feel it too, if your clothes suddenly feel too restricting and too warm when you run a hand down his bare back.

The nightly routine ensues: you shower. Javier changes, this time into a new hoodie but leaves his legs bare, wearing only boxers on the bottom. He waits on the couch, and when you exit the bathroom, he takes his turn. He returns and sits next to you on the couch.

Tonight, when you ask him to share your bed with you, he doesn’t say no. In fact, he doesn’t say much of anything, just yawns softly and stands, taking your hand.

It’s a sacred space, your bed. Javier knows it. He rarely fucks women in his; whether it’s for his own privacy or fear they’ll fall asleep there, he can’t say. But your bed is such an intimate expression of you, and he can see it. He can see the divot in the mattress where you sleep, the way you arrange the pillows just right for your own head. It is a queen size, but it’s single-occupancy: until now, that is, and Javier feels honored you’re willing to share this holiness with him.

He gets into the bed on the other side of you, the warm blankets enveloping him, and he nearly lets out a moan at the comfort. Compared to the hotel bed and the couch, this is sleeping on a literal cloud from the heavens. He lies still, waiting to see what you do first. Not wanting to overstep anything.

His prayers are answered when you snuggle into his side. You rest your head on his chest, kissing his sternum through the soft material of the hoodie. A hand rests on the other side of your face, and your legs both encircle one of his. Javier smiles, wrapping an arm around you. He presses a kiss into your hair and murmurs a goodnight, letting his head fall back. He has no time to worry about this situation before he falls asleep.

He falls asleep almost immediately, which makes you chuckle through your half-conscious state. He seems to always radiate heat, Javier. Your layers of blankets upon blankets suddenly feel unnecessary when a heat source the strength of the summer sun fills your bed. His chest is strong and firm beneath you. The rise and fall of his chest is like a boat rocking on the ocean, putting you at ease and allowing you to rest.

Fuck. He knew this was a bad idea. Why did he do this?

The clock reads 1:48 and Javier is wide awake, staring at your popcorn-stucco-whatever the fuck it is ceiling. He wasn’t able to process this before sleep overtook him, before his consciousness was wiped and with it, his inhibitions.

Your body is pressed to his so perfectly. You sleep without a bra, and Javier can feel his arm being slightly sandwiched between your breasts, the way they press further into it every time you inhale. Your thighs are warm with sleep, and he can feel your core pressed against his hip, even while you sleep and even through the layers of clothing.

Javier feels like the embodiment of slime. You’re asleep and all he can think about is how fucking hot your body is, how much he wants to press you into this mattress and wake you with an orgasm. He wants to palm your tits and make your nipples harden through that flimsy shirt, to slide his fingers beneath your pajama bottoms and-

He can’t take it. He feels so wrong, the smell of you surrounding him and choking him like a thick perfume, even in its subtlety. He does not deserve to sleep next to you, innocently, like someone you love, when all he can think about is his own carnal desires.

Pushing back the covers, Javier gets out of bed before any more blood can flow to his slowly hardening dick. This is all wrong. He should not be doing this, thinking these things without knowing you feel the same.

But the guilt is as strong as his arousal. He watches you for a moment, torn between his options, before meandering through the darkened bedroom and finding his way into the bathroom. He turns on the bright lights and forces himself to stare at the bulbs, to make his pupils shrink from their blown state of sleep mixed with desperation. He’s fully awake now.

He needs to get the hardened length down. He can’t do this, can’t allow himself this suffering while you sleep in the next room.

The sink. Cold water. He gasps silently at the splash of the ice-cold water against his face, dampening the edges of his hoodie. It doesn’t work enough. Again. Nothing. He feels like a teenager, unable to control himself. The cold water is a good idea, though.

Javier strips down, trying to avoid the urge to take himself in hand and fix this here and now. Turning the water as cold as it can go, Javier turns on the shower and steps in.

Agony is the best term he has. It makes him want to squeal like a fucking pig as he shudders from the cold. It doesn’t work to force his erection down, but what use is it when it’s not something physical but mental stimulating him? The cold shock didn’t do shit. Javier’s still achingly hard. He turns the water warmer and sighs as it gradually turns to a tolerable temperature, one that he can relax under and allow himself to let out a deep sigh.

He has no other options, unless he wants to wait it out. Leaning against the wall, Javier strokes himself, biting his lip and hoping the water pressure will cancel any soft moans he can’t avoid. It doesn’t take long when he’s this aroused, when he knows exactly what the fantasy in his head would feel like.

Javier is panting and sweating, from the effort and the growing heat of the water. He feels disgusting but it feels so good, and he can’t help imagining you doing this to him, you spreading your legs and feeding the fire between his own.

It only takes a few minutes. He gasps as he cums, with a force he’s never brought forth with his own hand. He bites his lip so hard he’s sure he might cut it off, not allowing the desperate sounds to reach a level you could hear. When he’s done, he groans and cracks his neck. “Oh, little bee,” he whispers, agonized as he lets the water wash the evidence of his sins down the drain.

When he’s done, Javier walks into your bedroom, silently, in the dark. His previous boxers were stained with a patch of his precum; he can’t put those back on. He drops the towel and puts on different boxers.

After he’s changed, he looks at your bed longingly for a moment. The soft sheets, soft mattress, the soft body between them. But in Javier’s head, he’s forsaken his right to the warmth, the comfort.

When you wake in the morning, hours after you thought you heard the shower running, you find Javier is not in your bed. There isn’t even a warm spot where he lay, just your body shifted further from your normal sleeping position. When you wander out to make your morning coffee, you find him. He spent the night on the couch again.

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

Text

Danger Days - Chapter fourteen: "Love, hate, love"

Word count: 8,8K

Summary: The band is decided to take care of Joey, and for once, she is ok with that. Gerard is trying to find a way to get closer to her while Matthew... gets drunk again.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, cheating, angst, a lot of crying.

A/N: I want a friend like Mikey in my life. Do you guys think Joey will forgive Matthew? Would you do it? also, I love how honest Frank is with Joey. Gerard really hates him at this point hehehe.

Not my gif, and all this shit is fiction.

Masterlist

::: Valencia, March 11th, 2011 :::

Joey's eyes were wide opened as she laid on her bed. She hadn't slept at all. Mikey was snoring next to her. He had stayed over to take care of her after everybody left. But he fell asleep, and the girl stayed up the whole night, not able to move or to do anything but to stare at the heart locket on her bedside table. It felt like bullshit to her now. What seemed to be so romantic was now nothing but a pile of lies.

Memories kept coming to her head. All of the times together with Matthew, their whole happiness. All the days they spent working on the house he had bought for them, and all the nights they sat in their new back yard to look at the stars, drink some wine and sleep in an inflatable mattress they had put in their bedroom. But what she remembered the most was the day they met. The day their whole story together had started, and how now Joey wished to go back in time and change it all. Ignore him, never talking to him, not even being in that studio that day. Anything that might keep her from the pain she was feeling now.

She had reached the studio early that morning. She had a meeting with a band at ten to record a demo. They needed a studio drummer, and Billy, the producer, contacted her. She had learned the songs; there were just three on the setlist. That shouldn't take more than three days in the whole process, including production.

Joey went through her warm-up and stretching before Billy walked in with two cups of coffee.

- "Thank you."

- "You are gonna need it,"- he said and cut her a short smile- "As far as I can tell, these guys are hyper"- the girl smiled and nodded.

- "Noted, hyper kids."

The drummer already had a lot of practice recording with random bands and some pretty known bands too. Yet, she wasn't ready for the tornado of energy that was about to go through the door that day.

The band was pretty funny and easy-going. Their music wasn't really in Joey's favorite playlist, but she was professional enough to give her best no matter what. Their friend, though, that guy was driving her insane. This very tall thin guy with light brown hair kept jumping with every song they played. He was sugar rushed or in coke. There was no way anyone would be that energetic on his own. And he had an opinion for every part of every song. Their friends loved him, it was clear, that's why they brought him along, but Joey was trying to do her work.

- "Hey,"- he said to her at the end of the session. He hadn't talked to her in the whole day- "That was pretty cool what you did back there."

- "Thanks"- she simply answered and looked for her backpack.

- "I mean, you played amazing, but the way you managed not to kill me through the whole day, though it was clear I was driving you insane, that was outstanding"- and the girl chuckled, she hated it 'cos she didn't want to, but that had been funny indeed.

- "It took a lot of will and mental strength, I must confess, you were pretty annoying,"- she answered with a snarky smile.

- "I'm sorry in advance for the next three or four days then"- the girl sighed and nodded.

- "Thanks, I guess."

- "Hey, can I try to make it up to you?"

- "By not to eat anything with sugar or take any coffee before coming tomorrow? Because that would be awesome"- and Matthew laughed. An honest big, and sincere laugher.

- "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get a coffee now with me..."

- "How much coffee do you have during the day?"- the drummer asked, raising an eyebrow.

- "A lot"- he simply answered- "So, what do you say? I promise I won't be annoying, or at least just the decent amount of annoying to be tolerable."

Joey didn't know what to reply. It had been ages since anyone had asked her out, and that guy was breathtakingly hot. Was it a prank? Why would he want to go out with her?

- "How are you planning not to be annoying?"- she asked and narrowed her eyes.

- "You can pinch me every time I get annoying,"- Gubler grinned, looking pretty excited to go out with her- "I know you want to pinch me."

Joey smiled and kept her eyes on his. He gave her the most adorable puppy eyes, and not even thinking about it, she accepted.

And that was the first of a thousand coffees they shared in almost a year together. They had even talked about getting married around the same date they had started dating. But now, none of that mattered anymore.

- "Mother fucker"- she whispered and slowly got out of bed. Mikey was still asleep. She wondered around the room, not knowing what to do. She went through all the things the guys had left upon a dresser: chocolate bars, filled chocolate, M&M, fun-size Snickers, all of her favorites candies. Frank's whiskey bottle, even a Pride and Prejudice Bluray.

- "You guys are awesome,"- she whispered and grabbed a bunch of candy. She looked through her things as she ate. It felt nothing was hers anymore. It felt that wasn't her life or her clothing. Not even her mind. She was out of herself. Her phone was nowhere to be seen. Probably Mikey had it hidden, just like she had done for him when he broke up with his wife. Now the tables had turned. And it felt weird. Wrong. Bad.

Joey had a knot in her stomach as she kept eating Snicker after Snicker. Still, she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. She found Matthew's shirts among her clothes, and her body shivered at the smell of his perfume still in the fabric. She could almost see his face, hear his voice, feel his hands on her skin. The same hands that had cheated.

Tears started falling right away. Still, she couldn't stop smelling the shirt. She couldn't stop thinking about him, about his face, his kisses, everything. But yet, she was so mad, so sad, so confused. Her stomach started aching, and the girl started retching. She ran to the bathroom and puked the few candies she had eaten. That was all that was left in her stomach.

- "Bug, hey..."- Mikey appeared running and kneeled next to her.

- "I'm ok, I just... I'm still..."- the girl sighed and wiped off the tears from her face, flushing. Mikey reached the mouthwash for her- "Thank you"- Joey clumsy stood up and spat in the sink.

- "Did you get any sleep?"

- "Not really"- the honesty of her answer surprised him. He was ready to deal with a girl in denial of her state. Instead, somehow, she just answered the truth. He decided to take another shot.

- "Are you hungry?"

- "Of course not. I just puked."

- "What do you wanna do today?"

- "Stay in here, in my pajamas, and watch shitty tv. How is your schedule for today? What do you have to do?"

- "Stay here in my pajama watching shitty tv with you,"- she cut him a sweet smile as she crawled into bed again.

- "You don't have to do that, Mikey. You have to work."

- "I know I don't have to, I want to do it for you"- he made a pause, grabbed the phone, and called room service.

- "Thank you,"- she whispered and heard him asking for two breakfasts.

- "Besides,"- Mikey added, after hanging up and getting into bed with her- "It's not like I have to show up and answer questions I've answered a million times before. That's why Gerard's the lead singer. He loves the attention."

Joey smiled and hugged Mikey, resting her head on his chest as he surfed channels.

- "Yeah, he is a little diva sometimes."

- "A little? Sometimes?"- Mikey chuckled- "Oh Bug, you have no idea..."

Gerard was walking on his own after the first interview. He asked for a few minutes to get something, and Worm came along to make sure he made it alive.

- "Dude, help, what can I give Joey?"

- "Is her birthday again or something?"

- "No, she broke up with Gubler, and I need something that might cheer her up."

- "Fuck! How is she?"

- "Locked in her room... what can I give her?"

- "Chocolates."- Worm answered right away.

- "Mikey got her a million of her favorites."

- "Booze."

- "Frank got her favorite whiskey."

- "Shit... movies to kill time?"- the man looked at Gerard and nodded- "So Ray got her movies?"

- "They had like a "break up kit" in their fucking bags or something. They know what to do, what to say to her, how to comfort her. And I ended up looking at her from a distance like... awkward and out of place."- Gerard was opening himself up at his friend.

- "Well, think of something that might help her use her time and mind to refocus her into something other than the breakup. Maybe a book"- Gerard nodded and kept looking at the window glazes. Instinctively he stood outside a stationery shop. He thought about it as he looked inside. To draw was an excellent way to kill time. Would she like that?

- "Why not?"- he said and walked in. After a few minutes, he stepped out with not two but three bags filled with art supplies.

- "Did you leave anything left in the store?"- Frank asked when he saw his friend carrying so many notebooks and pencils, you could think he was starting a store of his own. The two of them, plus Ray, got into the van to go to their following interview.

- "Funny. I just got Joey a few things to help her think of something else."

- "Cool man, good idea"- Ray smiled and took a look inside- "I just checked with Mikey. They were watching a movie."

- "How is she?"- Gerard asked as the van traveled through Valencia.

- "She didn't sleep, she hasn't eaten, Mikey was fighting to get her to eat some cereal... she was crying and puking when he woke up."

Gerard's heart ached in his chest as he heard Ray's words. He needed to find a way to make her feel better. But how? How if he never got to talk to her?

- "Any news from the asshole?"- Gerard asked, and Frank nodded.

- "Mikey has her phone off, so no one knows anything about him."

- "Do you think he is gonna show up?"- the singer asked, and both Ray and Frank looked at each other.

- "I think so,"- Toro said- "He is in love with her after all."

- "After all?"- Iero turned to him and frowned- "The fucker broke her heart! I don't want him near my little Bug in a thousand years."

Gerard wanted to hit Frank after calling her "his little Bug."

- "What the fuck is his problem? She ain't his. She is mine."

- "Frank, we are her friends, and we have to support her, but if she ever decides to get back with him again, even when we both know that's nearly impossible, we have to respect her. Ok?"- Ray was very rational about it, mostly 'cos he had lived it with other friends before- "So if he gets here, we can't do anything."

- "What do you mean "we can't do anything"?"- Frank frowned right away, frustrated- "I'm not gonna let that asshole near her."

- "Me neither, man"- Gerard adds- "And I can't believe you are saying this amount of shit after how she was yesterday."

- "It's called experience, Gerard. So remember, this whole shit ain't about how mad we are with Gubler, but about how much we want our friend to be happy, no matter what!"

Ray used his "dad" voice, and his friends couldn't argue with that. That was Raymond Toro's superpower: Super Dad.

Matthew looked at his mom and sighed. He still had three more days of shooting, and he was about to quit. Gubler barely had the strength to get out of bed that morning. He hadn't eaten. He looked like shit. He didn't want to be in the movie anymore. He gave a fuck about everything. So his mother came along to work with him and sat closely, reading a book, trying to comfort him in any way. Yes, that's how much Matthew loved his mother. And he cared shit if anyone made fun of him.

- "I can't do this, mom,"- he said as he walked to her by the end of a scene, he had some time to wait for things to be ready at the following location- "I mean, what the fuck am I doing here? I have to go to her! I have to tell her that I'm sorry"- he grabbed his phone and dialed- "Still off... Yami, please listen to me. I need to talk to you. This can't be it. I need you to listen to me."

- "Voicemail full"- a computer voice warned and finished the call.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- the young man hit the wall next to him a couple of times as his face turned red in anger and desperation.

- "Matthew, please calm down, you are gonna go, but you need to be calm when you meet her. You have to put yourself together first. What are you going to tell her? How are you going to approach her?"- he sighed and walked around in front of his mother.

- "I just need to talk to her now!"- he whispered, pouting. He had never needed anyone as much as he needed Joey at that moment.

- "She has to make her process too. If you run to her now, you are both going to be still hyperventilated with what happened, you are going to be irrational, you know you will, and she is going to be still so hurt and mad she won't think straight"- Matthew sighed and looked at the ground- "Let the things cool down for a few days."

- "I still need to talk to her. I have to call her."

- "Just make sure you don't sound like a madman when you get to talk to her, ok?"

- "Do I sound like a madman now?"- his mother smiled at held his chin for a second

- "As I had never heard you before... you are in love, baby, it's ok to be a madman... just... try to keep a mind straight when it comes to talking to her, don't scare her away."

Matthew nodded and sighed. His mother's words made sense, but how to calm himself down when he felt he was dying inside? He grabbed his phone and dialed. Still off.

- "Can you come over tonight?"- he wrote and sent the text to Paget, his best friend.

- "Sure, is everything ok?"

- "Tell you tonight."

The band reached Joey's room at lunchtime. They brought pizza and beer, but she didn't want either. They talked to her about their day, the interviews, and Gerard gave her his present. That was the one thing Joey was excited about. She loved drawing and coloring, though she sucked at it.

- "Thank you, Gerard!"- she said and cut him a shy smile- "I wanted to get some of these things for a while and never did"- and the singer smiled proudly. He had finally done one thing right.

- "Hey, if you want, I can teach you a few things so you can start your comic,"- he said and sat next to her.

- "Thanks..."- she nodded but didn't look into the idea. Gerard was probably pushing too hard. But he had gotten so excited with her reaction he thought it was the solution to the whole situation. Nothing was farther from the truth.

- "Come on, Bug, we brought your favorite pizza,"- Frank said and sat next to her- "It has all the bacon in Spain."

- "I'm not hungry,"- she whispered and didn't take her eyes from the art supplies.

- "You've barely eaten,"- Mikey said and held her hand, looking at her so worried, it made Joey feel guilty for having her friend like that. It wasn't fair.

- "Bróðir, I am ok. I ate that cereal you gave me."

- "You threw it up twenty minutes later"- she closed her eyes and sighed- "Do you always throw up when you are upset?"- and she nodded. She didn't want to say a word about it. When Joey was a kid, she had many anxiety problems; she always threw up when she felt stressed. It was the way her body worked to cope with whatever it was that she was feeling.

- "Just a slice, I don't care if you vomit it,"- Frank insisted. She held it and took the tiniest bite possible in a poor attempt to make her friend happy. He just kept looking at her, forcing her to take another bite.

- "Do you have to go to work after lunch?"- she whispered and looked at her fingers playing with the bacon on her pizza.

- "Yeah, Bug. Mikey should probably go shower, but I'm gonna stay with you."

- "I'm not a baby, Ray"- the girl frowned- "I can be alone."

- "I know you can, I just feel like staying here, watch a bunch of movies... maybe sleep a little, I don't wanna go to work,"- Ray simply replied.

- "Guys, I know you are being too cute and adorable right now, and from the bottom of my heart, I am forever grateful for it, but I can stay alone. Nothing is gonna happen."

Mikey moved closer to Joey in the bed and wrapped an arm around her.

- "Sure, you are gonna be ok, but right now, we just wanna be with you... just today, ok? Tomorrow you are on your own,"- she turned and raised an eyebrow at him- "I promise."

- "Fine..."

- "Now eat"- he commanded and moved her pizza closer to her.

- "When are you going to give me my phone back?"- she asked after a while.

- "Tomorrow"- Mikey simply replied.

- "What's the plan for tomorrow, by the way?"- Joey asked and looked at her friends- "Do we have to be at the festival the whole day?"

- "No, but we have to be there early,"- Gerard said and chewed his food- "We have to do some press there, and you should come along."

- "I'm good, thanks."

- "No, really, it was great when we did that radio with you, and you've been great all along this tour, so... it would be great if you were there with us... how many times did I just say "great"?"- Joey smiled at Gerard and looked back at her pizza.

- "Like a million times, dude,"- Frank answered- "Hey, where's the veggie pizza?"

It was very heartwarming and, at the very same time, very overwhelming for Joey to feel that amount of love from her friends. She didn't see it coming. That afternoon, she and Ray watched Pride and Prejudice together, and she even allowed herself to share a few tears during those 90 minutes. Ray pretended he never noticed, and that made her happy.

She picked a bunch of other chick flicks she liked, and her friend watched them all, sleeping a little bit from time to time. Joey wasn't able to close an eye. Every time she took her mind off the movie, she thought of Matthew and started crying again.

By the time the rest of the band arrived again, with more booze, more food, and a whole bag of candies, Ray had watched Clueless, 10 things I hate about you and Ever After. He was pretty surprised to know Joey could recite from memory most of the dialogues in those movies. He never thought she could be so... girly.

- "Hey Bug!"- Mikey practically ran to her- "What are you doing?"

- "Coloring this mandala book Gerard got me"- it felt like she was a little kid and Ray was her nanny- "I don't know why people say this is relaxing; I find it pretty stressful"- Mikey looked at it and smiled.

- "Looks pretty cool to me."

- "Let me see"- Gerard said and walked to her, sitting for the very first time, next to her- "Yeah, that looks stressful"- he whispered, and she smiled- "But there was another coloring book in the bag."

- "I feel like I'm five years old,"- she whispered and looked at the singer in the eyes. He cut her a big smile and grabbed a notebook from his bag.

- "I stopped to buy ten comic books today, so that would make two of us."

- "What did you get?"- that conversation kept going. Gerard couldn't believe it.

- "I saw a few X-Men issues in Spanish, and I thought it would be a nice addition to my collection."

- "Nice..."- Frank moved closer and messed with the girl's hair.

- "I brought you a Dr. Pepper,"- he whispered and kissed her cheek.

- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "I also got you fries"- he smiled and raised an eyebrow- "You can't say no to fries..."- and damn it, Frank was right- "Cheesy fries"- he added with a low sexy voice.

- "I hate you, Frank."

- "It's time for you to face it, Iceland, you love me, you can't live without my pretty face making you laugh"- he teased her and chuckled. She kept her eyes in his and cut him a short smile.

- "Fuck you, Jersey"- she whispered but smiled and snuggled closer to him- "I love you. You are a psycho brother with the ability to make me want to punch you."

- "You are that hot second cousin I would nail,"- Frank answered with a chuckle and a low voice. Joey giggled and hit him simultaneously. Gerard froze, thinking there was no way Iero could be so honest with her about his thoughts, not making her mad.

- "Shut up. Why do you always ruin every single moment we've got together?"

- "'Cos... you laugh when I do, and I love to hear you laugh"- the girl chuckled and blushed.

- "Just give me the damn fries."

Gerard looked at his friend in shock. He had flirted, and she smiled. What the fuck was that? It was so clear everybody was closer to her than him... and she told him she loved him.

- "Damn it! You are not going anywhere tonight until you get fucking closer to this girl."

Around midnight, Ray and Frank stood up. Joey was still laid on her bed, wide awake, watching Lethal Weapon with Mikey.

- "Kids, you should go to bed"- Ray announced and put on his shoes- "We've got a big day tomorrow, and you should all rest, especially you, Bug. The dark rings under your eyes will not be covered with makeup, and we will be on tv tomorrow."

- "I'll sleep, I promise"- she whispered and nodded.

- "Are you going to be ok with these two?"- Frank asked after kissing the top of her head.

- "These two are leaving soon, so I'll be ok"- she made a pause and held Frank's hand- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "There is nothing to thank, Iceland. You are my friend, and I'll protect you no matter what."

- "Yeah... what you did yesterday when you yelled at... at him"- Joey couldn't even really say his name- "Well... thank you-" he smiled and winked.

- "Anytime"

- "I love you, dad,"- the girl said as Ray walked over. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him kiss her forehead.

- "Please, try to sleep."

- "I will ... and thank you for watching chick flicks with me."

- "Anytime you want."

- "Really? You won't get sick of the clichés?"- she smiled and wrinkled her nose.

- "No, maybe next time I'll pick a couple when we are on the bus."

- "Dad, it's a date."

- "Sleep tight."

Joey nodded and watched her friends walking out. Mikey kept his eyes on the tv as he ate a bag of M&Ms. Gerard was sitting at the other side of the bed, drawing in silence. The girl sighed and watched tv for a while, but her mind was somewhere else.

- "You should take a bath,"- Gerard whispered suddenly- "If you are going to try to sleep, maybe a hot shower can help you."

- "I thought I smelled so bad you were gonna force me"- Joey answered, not even looking at him.

- "Joey, I've lived with you for a lot of months so far, and I've been locked with you after playing shows covered in sweat"- Gee made a pause and smiled- "You've never smelled bad"- she rolled her eyes, but a slight smile appeared on her lips.

- "You've never been close enough to smell me."

- "She is right, she gets nasty"- and Mikey got smacked by a pillow after those words.

- "Fine, I'll shower..."- but before moving an inch, the girl looked at her friend and asked- "Can you give me my phone back?"

- "Tomorrow."

- "I want to call my parents"- Mikey took his phone from his pocket and gave it to her.

- "Use mine"- she huffed and dialed.

Gerard watched her walk around the room, speaking half in Spanish, half in English with her mother, and then half in Icelandic, half in English with her dad. It was a funny scene to see; he had never seen it. He had never seen a lot of her habits, and yet he had fallen in love with her. Why? How?

- "Dude, I'm talking to you"- Mikey said and threw him an empty bag of candy.

- "Sorry, what?"

- "Can you stay with her for a while? I have to go to my room and take the biggest dump on earth"- Gerard frowned, disgusted, and nodded.

- "Using the bathroom would have been enough, dude."

- "No, it wouldn't, you need to know the disgusting details of my organism..."- Mikey started gathering his things, and Joey frowned as she watched him.

- "Where are you going?"

- "To take a shit"

- "Please don't use my bathroom. You are gross. It's like there's a corpse coming out of you every time"- Joey simply says, and Gerard burst out laughing.

- "Best description ever!"

- "Here's your phone, bróðir."

- "Thank you, Bug"- he grabbed it, put on his shoes, his backpack, and hugged his friend tight- "I love you."

- "I know. I love you too."

- "I'll leave you with Gerard. Are you gonna be ok?"

- "I'll be fine,"- his older brother answered and never took his eyes from the paper, scared of looking at Joey under the circumstances. He was finally going to be alone with her. What was going to happen?

- "I was talking to her, dumbass"- Gerard flipped the bird to Mikey as Joey stayed hugged to his younger brother. He wished she could hug him like that one day. That night maybe...

- "You are the best brother on earth"- she whispered- "Now please go to your room and sleep."

- "Eat some chocolates, take a bath and fall asleep, ok?"- Joey nodded, and Mikey left the room.

Suddenly she realized it was just her and Gerard. For the first time in weeks. But her mind didn't have room to think about anything else but the pain she was feeling. She missed Matthew so much; watching Lethal Weapon was the best idea at the moment.

Gerard kept drawing in silence, and Joey watched the movie until it was over. She ate a few more Snickers and went through the pages of one of the mandala coloring books Gerard had given her.

- "Are you going to take that bath?"- he asked her. But she didn't answer. She had spaced out, staring at her hands in front of her- "Joey? Are you ok?"

- "Yes,"- she murmured and took a deep breath- "Yeah, I'm gonna shower."

- "Do you need me to run the shower for you?"- the singer asked, standing up, but the girl excused herself, moved out of the bed quickly, grabbed a clean pajama from her bag, and locked herself in the room.

Gee looked around and sighed. He knew she wasn't ok at all, so he cleaned the room a little, threw all of the empty bags of chocolates into the paper bin, called room service to take their dinner dishes away, and made the bed.

- "Hey babe"- he whispered as Lynz picked up the phone- "How are you?"

- "Good baby, you?"

- "So fucking tired"- he might have exaggerated that a little bit- "We had an eternal day today, doing a lot of press for the festival tomorrow."

- "My sweet baby, are you in the hotel?"

- "Yeah, already in bed "In Joey's bed, asshole."

- "And how's everybody?"

- "We are all exhausted. It's been forever since we've been home."

- "I know, honey, I miss you so."

- "I miss you more, baby."

Joey sat under the hot water of the shower, crying her eyes out. She held those tears for so long that day. She needed to get them out of her system when no one could see or hear her. Under the shower was good, with water running down her whole aching body.

She felt so much pain inside it seemed to be endless. She was never going to overcome it. Joey knew it. She actually thought she could die of sorrow. And her friends had been so nice to her. She felt she had to be better, so they were calmer. She didn't want to make them sick worry about her.

- "You to put out a show from the next day and start acting like you are getting over this whole deal"- she whispered to herself and whipped off her tears- "They deserve better than a broken drummer. You have to be professional, you are here to work, and you have to fucking do your best work."

But still, she looked at the ring that was still on her finger, and the tears came back. She didn't want to take it off. She wanted to hold onto the memory of the days she was happy. But it was so hard. She had been broken-hearted before, but not like that. It had never been like this. It felt like the end of her world, and she was sure she was never going to recover from it. She wouldn't be the same woman that she was before. She just didn't know how much of the old Joey was going to survive.

- "Joey, are you ok in there?"- Gerard asked from the other side of the door- "You've been in the shower for a long while."

- "Yeah, I'm coming out in a minute,"- she answered and cleared her throat- "You can go to your room if you want to, I'm ok."

- "I'm not leaving until you are tucked and asleep into that bed, Joey."

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He had brought this to her. She deserved him to be nice to her. Nice, he could do nice. He just had to turn his dick off, and everything was going to be ok.

Easier said than done, clearly.

Joey walked out of the shower in her pajamas, hair already dried, and night cream on her face, 'cos she had done nothing for herself in the whole day, and a part of her needed to feel a little human again.

- "You didn't have to stay,"- the girl said as soon as she saw Gerard sitting on her bed, his back resting on the headboard.

- "I didn't want to leave"- he simply answered and tapped the bed beside him- "Come here... "- she sighed and thought a few months ago she would have been shaking as jelly under those circumstances. Now it seemed Joey couldn't even think of Gerard in any way that wasn't a friend.

She crawled into the bed and looked at what he was doing. He had been working on a sketch for a long while now.

- "What are you doing?"

- "Not much, just trying to ease my mind, I think"- he answered and showed Joey his drawings- "I've been working on characters for the stories I wanna write, so I keep making sketches of random thoughts and ideas I've got for them"- Gerard opened another folder and showed Joey some more of his work- "These I've developed for a long while, but I still don't feel they are ready."

- "How do you know they are ready?"- he hesitated for a second before answering.

- "I guess they never really are. You are constantly changing little things about them with time."

- "Like songs?"

- "Yeah"- the girl looked at the drawings in silence for a few minutes. Gerard looked at her as she stared at each sheet with detention. He analyzed her eyes, her lips, and her cheeks. She was still very pale, black rings under her eyes. But yet, for him, she was gorgeous. He was dying to hold her.

- "They are pretty cool,"- she said and handed them back.

- "Hey, did you ever finish the song you were writing the other day?"

- "The other day, you mean five months ago?"- he nodded, thinking it felt it was just a few weeks ago- "Yeah, I did."

- "Can I hear it?"

- "Sure, one day you'll hear it, not today, dude. Today, I don't want anything"- he nodded and watched her sighing.

- "Another movie?"- and she nodded- "Do you wanna pick it?"

- "No... I don't care what's on the screen as long as I don't think"- Gerard grabbed the remote control as Joey kept playing with the ring on her finger- "Are you going to..."

- "I'm not talking about it,"- she answered right away.

- "Sorry..."- he muted and surfed through the pay-per-view options until he picked up "The Goonies." Joey didn't say a word. That was one of Matthew's favorite movies. But she wanted to watch it. She wanted to feel he was close. She was so mad and so in love that she didn't know what to do.

Gerard put all his art supplies in his bag and cuddled next to Joey. He did it just like Frank had done the night before: like it wasn't a big deal at all. He wrapped an arm around her neck and moved closer. She didn't do anything against that. Instead, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. Gerard felt triumphant. She was in his arms, finally. But Joey had cuddled for one reason only: it was the best position to hide the tears that started falling slowly as the movie began. She remembered clearly the first time Matthew "forced her" to watch "The Goonies." It was a Saturday. It was raining outside. They spent the whole day in bed, watching movies, making love, eating chocolate chip hotcakes, and s'mores. It was the perfect day. Now it was just a hurtful memory.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Gubler could feel the anger coming from Paget's eyes as he came clean and told her the whole story. They were at his house drinking beer and talking. Mostly Matthew was doing all the talking, while his best friend decided which was the best moment to hit him.

- "You are fucked"- Paget simply said as he kept talking. He stopped and frowned. But nothing came from his mouth- "I can't believe you did that! You are disgusting, Matthew!!"

Paget lost it for a second. She never, in all the years she had known her best friend, ever thought he could do such a thing.

- "I know"

- "I just... why did you do it?"

- "I was drunk!"

- "That's not an excuse!! You've been drunk before! And your cock hadn't ended up in your ex-girlfriend's mouth, so be honest with me and tell me what the fuck happened?"

- "I don't know! When I noticed it wasn't Joey, I stopped it all!"

- "You thought your girlfriend was sucking your cock?"

- "Yes!"

- "And why did you make out with those girls at the dancefloor?! Everybody saw you!"

- "I lost it for a second, 'cos I was scared Joey might cheat!"- Matthew murmured and looked at the floor, so ashamed of his own words.

- "And you did it 'cos you were scared she would?!"- Paget yelled and smacked his head- "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

- "I don't know!"- the boy rubbed his hands against his face feeling the anger filling his whole body- "Don't you think I regret it?! I hate myself! I was stupid!"

- "Yes! You were fucking stupid! Do you know what it takes to get someone to love you the way she does?! Do you know how hard it is to find someone as weird as you?!"

- "I know it's hard! I know it's fucking impossible, and I know I fucked it up! But I need you to help me fix this!"

- "You could start by going to see her and beg for forgiveness!"

- "That's what I want to do, but mom said I have to give her a few days to calm down."

- "She is right, and you have to calm down too."

- "She said I sound like a mad man."

- "Madder than usual, yes"- Paget nodded, still serious- "And where is she now?"

- "Spain, she has a huge festival show tomorrow, it's gonna be televised..."

- "So you get to see her live?"- he nodded- "And after that?"

- "Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, she is only staying one day at those places, she is traveling by bus, so she is going to be stuck with the band all the time. And those guys hate me."

- "Right now, I hate you too."

- "Please stop hating me and help me find a way to get to her 'cos I know they are not gonna let me."

- "They have nothing to do with this whole situation! What are you talking about?"

- "Well, they've always been very protective of her, which used to bother me a lot, until I realized they loved her like a little sister, and she is happy with that 'cos she doesn't have many friends."- Matthew was talking very fast, as the words kept coming nonstop- "Eventually, we got closer, especially with Mikey. He is like her older brother on the road, and he is so fucking nice to her for a moment, I thought he was in love with her. But it turns out he loves her as a sister, which made me happy 'cos it meant she wasn't alone in that tour."

- "To the point, Matthew."- Paget sighed, annoyed.

- "Yeah, sorry. What happened was I called her after our fight, and Frank picked up the phone and told me he is going to kill me if he ever sees me again, and threaten me to beat the shit out of me if I ever try to get near her."

- "What at asshole!"

- "I know!"

- "You completely deserved that!"

- "Paget!!"

- "You would do that for me if someone breaks my heart, so deal with it"- Gubler nodded and for a second, then chuckled.

- "A few months ago, Joey told me the same thing..."- he sighed and stayed in silence- "I miss her so much it hurts."

- "I know"

- "I need to get her back..."- his friend didn't say a word, just rubbed his arm gently and cut him a short smile.

Paget couldn't promise him he was going to get her back 'cos she knew how much it hurt being cheated on, and she had never forgiven a guy for that. And by everything Matthew had told her about Joey so far, she knew she wasn't going to do that either. But she couldn't tell him to give up either. She knew he wasn't going to.

Joey sighed. The movie was over, and she was starting to feel tired. She was afraid to sleep though, she knew she would dream with Matthew Gray, and it hurt to even think about it.

- "Ready to get some rest?"- Gerard whispered. She didn't move- "I know you are awake."

- "Are you a psychic?"- she whispered, and he just smiled.

- "I can see your reflex on the screen"- he caressed her hair softly- "Do you need anything?"

- "No... thanks."

- "Do you want me to stay over tonight?"- Gerard simply asked, making sure it sounded like no big deal, though he could hyperventilate if she ever said yes- "I wouldn't mind."

- "I think I could use some time on my own"- Joey answered and moved on the bed, sitting next to him

- "I get it..."

- "Thank you, though. Thank you for taking care of me today and for bringing me so many things."

- "Hey, don't thank me for it. I'm glad I could make you smile even a little bit"- Gerard murmured and tuck some hair behind Joey's ear softly- "I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be so happy."

She didn't move, mostly 'cos she had spaced out thinking about Matthew again. She didn't seem to have room in her head for any other thought but him.

Gerard saw this as a chance to move a little further. He kept his hand in her hair and moved it slowly down to the backside of her neck. The girl chilled and looked into his eyes. That look, it wasn't a friendly one, and she just noticed it.

- "Joey, you deserve so much better than what he did to you, and if it were for me, I would give you everything, my whole life."

- "Thank you, Gerard"- she whispered and smiled- "You are a good friend."

- "I wasn't saying that as a friend."

Way smiled and moved closer to her, his nose touching hers. She didn't move. She didn't know what to do, actually. She had always thought he was incredibly hot, but she never wanted to cheat on Matthew. But now, that didn't matter anymore.

Gerard moved a few centimeters closer, and his lips touched Joey's. Electricity ran down his back as he kissed her slowly, just to make sure she wasn't going to move away. She didn't. And slowly, she kissed him back.

His hands cupped her face carefully as Gerard increased the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips. They tasted like chocolate, and they felt warm against his. It was blissful. It was like all the months he had to wait to feel that kiss had been completely worthy. That was the best kiss he had ever given, and his heart was rising so much, he thought it was going to escape from his chest.

Joey wasn't thinking. She wasn't at all. She just went along with the kiss 'cos it felt nice. And it also felt like payback. Like if by kissing Gerard, she was getting sweet revenge for what Matthew had done to her.

Gerard increased the kiss a little more, biting her lower lip and moving her closer to him. He wrapped an arm tight around her and kept a hand playing from her cheek to her neck slowly. Joey was enjoying this, Way was a pretty good kisser, and it was honestly a kiss she had thought about a million times. But it felt empty, like the kind of kiss you give to a random guy when you are drunk at a party. And this wasn't a random guy. This was her colleague, her married colleague.

- "Stop"- she whispered and broke the kiss.

- "What is it?"- she landed her hands on Gerard's chest and pushed him away softly.

- "This is wrong."

- "Why?"- Joey frowned as he held her hands and looked confused.

- "Well, apart from the obvious"- she said and pointed at his wedding right- "I'm at the lowest point of my life, and we work together. I can't afford to lose my job right now, so kissing one of my colleagues seems like a pretty shitty idea to me."

- "Not to me."

- "Gerard... that's your cock talking,"- Joey stood up and looked at him.

- "I've longed to kiss you for a long while"- he confessed following her and standing right in front of her- "And I've got the feeling so did you."

- "That's not the point. This it's wrong."

- "But it felt good, and you know it."

Gerard leaned to her, held her face, and pressed his lips against her, this time in a passionate kiss that made Joey feel weak on her knees. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his hands on her waist, moving her closer. So close that she could feel his erection, rubbing against her body.

- "You should go"- Joey whispered, gasping for air as she moved from his lips.

- "But I wanna stay"- she shook her head immediately.

- "You have to go, Gerard."

- "But, Sugar"- he murmured and rubbed his lips against her. She let him go slowly and looked at him, shaking her head again- "Ok..."- he grabbed his jacket and his shoes and landed a soft kiss on Joey's cheek- "Good night, sugar."

- "Bye, Gerard."

The singer walked out of that room and sighed. That had been the best kiss of his life. But Joey was right; it had been a mistake. However, it was a mistake he wanted to make ever since he first saw her. Still, he had just cheated on his wife. But that was a thought he needed to ignore at the moment. He had kissed the girl he loved. And he was in heaven.

Joey was in hell. She hated herself so much she wanted to die. She brushed her teeth over and over again, tears falling from her eyes. Her head hurt after so many days of crying. She had kissed another guy. And though Matthew had done the same to her, she still felt guilty and dirty. She was so sorry for what she had done; she knew it had been a terrible mistake. She didn't even want to face Gerard after that.

He was so eager for her, he had been holding that kiss for a long time, and he simply confessed it, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It meant Matthew had been right all along; Gerard had a thing on her, something that had ended up being a hot kiss. A very hot kiss. And if she hadn't stopped him, it was clear where Gerard wanted to go.

- "He had a boner for Christ Sakes!"- the girl argued, walking back to bed- "A fucking boner!"- she got under the covers, wrapping her arms around her legs, biting her lips so hard she nearly drawn blood.

Kissing someone else while still in love with Matthew didn't feel right. She didn't want to do it again. No matter how hot Gerard was. She missed her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. How was she ever going to get over him? She knew it was impossible. You don't love someone that much and successfully take him from your heart.

It was a good thing that Mikey had her phone, 'cos she felt the urge to call Matthew at the moment. That would have been stupid, and she knew it. But still, it physically hurt to miss him so much. She needed to talk to him. But Mikey had her phone... he didn't have her computer, though.

She looked for it in her backpack and started it on right away.

- "What the fuck are you doing?"- she asked herself out loud as she stared at the screen- "You can't talk to him... you are going to cave in."

Joey brushed her hands against her face and closed the computer. But after a few minutes, she poured herself a glass of whiskey and opened it again. She had decided to check her mail, and maybe Twitter, nothing related to her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

But her inbox was filled with emails from Matthew. At least twenty. Her stomach tightened as soon as she saw them. She took a sip of whiskey and opened the first one. It was sent the night before, probably after Frank had yelled at him and turned off her phone.

"I'm so sorry Yami, I know I was stupid and drunk, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. But I need you to know you are the only woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much it hurts to think of a day without even hearing your voice."

Joey was already crying. This wasn't healthy. Why was she doing it? She needed to sleep. She needed to get her mind from Matthew. But the memory of Gerard's kisses was right there hunting her too. She poured herself another whiskey and walked around the room. Maybe she could drink herself to sleep. But, she had a huge gig the next day, and she had to be professional.

- "Fuck! I wanna die..."- she sobbed and opened the next mail.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, and I get it. I just need you to understand how much I love you and that I'm willing to do anything to fix this, anything you want, everything you ask; I'll do it, but please, please don't leave me."

- "I have to stop this..."- she took another sip of her whiskey and whipped off her tears. She walked to the phone and talked to the front desk.

- "Hello, sorry to bother you, but can you please connect me with room 1201? Thank you"- the girl waited in line for what felt like ages until she heard Mikey's half-asleep.

- "Joey, are you ok?"

- "No, I'm not ok. Can you come and sleep with me, please?"

- "I'll be right there"- Joey stayed still, eyes glued on the screen, reading over and over again the last mail she had opened.

Mikey didn't even knock. He still had her key, so he just walked into the room in boxers and shirt, shoeless and with his hair made a huge mess. Mikey didn't say a word either; he just took the computer away from her and closed it, grabbed the glass, drank what was left of her whiskey, and got Joey under the covers of the bed. She was shaking and crying quietly.

- "You are gonna be ok Bug, I swear, please try to get some sleep"- he said and held her tight, spooning her- "I'm right here, I'm going to take care of you, ok?"- she nodded and sighed- "Now close your eyes and sleep, I've got you, ok? I've got you."

Joey sniffed and sobbed a little, feeling how her brother's arms tightened around her.

- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You did the same for me. I owe you my life at this point. I'm never going to leave you."

Back in Los Angeles, Matthew was drunk, calling and calling Joey without any result. Her phone was off, her voicemail was full. So he continued writing emails. At least he could put his heart out in a way, though he had no idea if she was ever going to read them.

Paget, next to him, tried to stop him. But it was useless. The boy wanted to write and ignored everything else.

- "Matthew, Matthew"- she said and shook her arm- "Buy the fucking plane ticket to see her!"

- "Yes!!"- he kind of shouted and took a paper from his pocket- "This is Yami's tour schedule... the movie ends in two days, I can go take a plane straight from the set... so I have to go to Oslo if I wanna catch her."

- "Nice! Bring souvenirs"- his friend smiled, trying to cheer him up

- "Deal"- the boy grabbed his credit card and booked the first flight he found to Norway- "You know it is our anniversary next 17th, if everything goes right, we could actually celebrate our first year together."

- "Please, Matthew, and I need you to listen to me"- Paget said seriously and looked into her best friend's eyes, making sure he would understand her, though he was wasted- "Please, whatever you do, don't fuck it up! ok?"

- "Yes."

- "'Cos this is going to be the only chance you'll get to talk to her and fix everything. Trust me."

Gubler nodded with widened eyes. He was drunk, tired, and devastated, but still, he got how serious and honest Paget was with him. He knew he wasn't going to get many chances to get Joey back. And maybe that was going to be the only one.

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#mcr #matthew gray gubler #gerard way #mikey way #frank iero #matthew gray gubler x oc #ray toro #three cheers for sweet revenge #babymetaldoll writes

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insomniamamma · 3 years

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“Surf City Goodness”: Ezra x F!reader w/Cee

A/n: This is the same AU as “Ferris Wheels Are for Old People” and “Liminal” but you don’t have to read those to read this one. Ezra loses his arm in an automobile accident which kills his brother, Damon and orphans his niece, Cee. Reader lives across the street from Ezra and they’ve been friendly for sometime but now it’s something more. Set after “Ferris Wheels Are For Old People” This is for @autumnleaves1991-blog and @clydesducktape ‘s Writer Wednesday.

Warnings: Language. Mentions of sex. Mentions of drug abuse. Mentions of traumatic injury/surgical scars. Mentions of Reader’s ex. Cee needs her own warning, but mostly this is just fluff. Ez and Cee and Reader enjoy a trip to the beach. I will include some songs from Cee’s playlist at the end.

Iggy Pop's voice warbles out of the speakers. "I wanna go to the beach, I don't care if it's decadent, I don't know where my spirit went, but that's alright..." "This seems a bit bleak, Birdie," says Ezra. "Quit your griping, you'll get your surf city goodness soon enough," says Cee and grins. Part of the deal they've worked out is that Cee gets to pick the music for any road trip longer than two hours, otherwise it's NPR until the signal fades and then whatever classic rock they can pick up. The three of you are crammed in the cab of Ezra's battered Ford Ranger. Cee is the smallest so she sits in the middle. The truck's bed is full of gear, air mattresses and sleeping bags and towels, a cooler filled with food and another filled with beer. I don't know what conditions we'll find exactly, Ez told you, We haven't been back here in some time. "If there's spiders I'm sleeping in the truck," you said and Ezra smiled, and pressed his remaining hand over his heart. "Never fear, Sunshine, I will protect your from our arachnid friends."

"Hey Sunshine!" Ezra calls from his front porch. You look up from your laptop to see Ezra and Cee laden with grocery bags. "Hey, Ez, you need a hand?" He smirks. This is an old joke between the two of you. When Ezra first came home, with Cee and without his arm, they were unloading Cee and Damon's things, bags and boxes and you, without thought had asked if he needed a hand, it just came out and you'd clapped your hands to your mouth, and then spluttered, I'm so sorry I didn't mean--and Ezra laughed, of course I need a hand. I'm down to just the one. "Always," he says. You loop the plastic bags over your arms, sweating packages laden with ground beef and bratwursts and chicken thighs. "You all having a party?" "We're going to the beach," says Cee. "You should come with us. It'll be fun." "Jesus, Cee," he mutters and then collects himself and smiles, "I had meant to ask you before this one jumped the gun-" "It's fine. Really." "You still working remotely?" asks Ezra. "For now. There's some talk about keeping my department remote." "Good thing or bad thing?" "Good thing," you say, "I like working in my pajamas." "Good thing because you could come with us," says Ezra. "Ez--" "I'm dead serious," he says, "Cee's got a four day weekend. We've got decent internet. Damon saw to that before...well, before. Mind you, this will probably be something of a working vacation. Ma's house has stood empty sometime. Damon used to keep it up but..." Ezra trails off. It's a small town. Damon's drug problems were more or less public knowledge. You think of the files you still need to edit, but for once you're ahead of the game. None of that is due until midway through next week. You've got some wiggle room if things go south. "Yeah? Yeah, fuck it. I'm coming with." Ezra smiles wide, revealing his dimples. And that's how you end up in the cab of Ezra's beat-to-shit truck listening to Cee's fun and somewhat baffling playlist.

"Talk to me, baby,I'm goin' blind from this sweet, sweet craving, whoa-oh, Let's lose our minds and go fucking crazy, I-I-I-I-I keep on hopin' we'll eat cake by the ocean..." "Is this a parody?" Asks Ezra, "Like a Weird Al Yankovic thing?" "No," says Cee, "It's an actual song. One of the Jonas brothers did it." "Someone greenlit and recorded this on purpose." "Yep." "A song. About eating cake on a beach." Cee gives you a sly look. "It's a metaphor, Ez," she says, "They're eating something but it's not cake." You have to hold in a laugh, watching the gears in Ezra's brain grind, watching his eyes go big. "Ohmygod! Cee!" Cee cackles and you snort laughter. "You are fifteen years old! You are a minor child! You should not be going there! You should not even know that there exists!" Ezra's cheeks go red. Cee is wheezing, eyes screwed shut with laughter, her own cheeks flaming, "You. Should see. Your face," she says. "It's not funny!" "Oh, it's funny," you say, "She got you good." "Come on, Ez," says Cee, "You think I can't recognize a poorly veiled sexual reference when I hear one? It doesn't take a genius--" "You are a terror," says Ezra, and Cee grins, proud of the title, "And you--" he arcs and eyebrow in your direction--"Are not helping matters." You give him your brightest smile. "What can I say? I thought it was just a song about some goofballs eating cake by the ocean." He huffs, but you can see the smirk creeping up his cheek as he drives.

The house at the end of the driveway is small, a cottage really, single storied and built up on stilts like the others around it, painted a faded robin's egg blue with white trim. The garage is underneath the house, room enough for one car and next to it is a room built to shelter the water heater and plumbing. A wooden staircase snakes up to a deck that wraps the entire structure. Sea grass sprouts in clumps from the sand. It's hot inside, a stale heat, and the first thing you do is open all the windows. "I think there's a couple box fans in the storage space," says Ezra, "I'll go fetch them." The back deck overlooks the ocean, pale expanse of sand and the gentle lap of blue-green sea, a wooden staircase reaches down to the sand below. The day is bright and hot and shot through with high cirrus clouds. You and Ezra have stripped the sheets from the beds and popped them in the washer, loaded the dishwasher, put fans in the windows. "This is cleaner than I expected," says Ezra, "Maybe Damon cared more than I gave him credit for." Ezra's face clouds. You take his hand, squeeze his fingers in yours. You know little about Damon other than the town gossip and what Ezra himself has told you. You don't understand the convolutions of their relationship, you just know that Damon is a slow-healing wound, and that it does Ezra no good to pick at it. You tug at him. "C'mon. Let's get changed. Cee's already got her suit on."

"Turn around, Birdie, let me get your back." Cee rolls her eyes but does as she's asked. Ezra sprays sunscreen across her bony shoulders and rubs it in. "I found a boogie board under the deck," says Cee, "And some toys from when I was real small. I found those floaty things you all used to put on my arms, remember those?" "I do," says Ezra, "Damon chucked you into the surf without so much as a by-your-leave. It scared the hell out of Ma but you laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world. You're good to go, Little Bird." "Thanks, Ez." And she's down the stairs, heading towards the surf. "Your turn, Sunshine," he says and you turn your back to him. He presses a kiss against the juncture of your neck and shoulder, that one place that makes you squirm and shiver, right on the line between erogenous and ticklish. "Menace--" you say and then squawk when the cold spray hits you, soothed by the passage of his calloused palm across your shoulders, gently gripping the nape of your neck, and you lean back against him briefly, relishing his solidity, his warmth, his hand rests lightly on your hip. "Let me get your back," you say. Ezra turns his back to you and shucks out of his t-shirt. He's already ditched his prosthetic arm. Don't know how seaworthy it is, he'd said, as expensive as it was I don't care to find out. You shake the can of sunscreen and blast him with it. "Christ! That's cold!" "We gotta make sure Cee reapplies after a couple hours," you say, smoothing your hands over his broad back, relishing the slide of his tanned skin beneath your palms, "She'll burn to a crisp otherwise." You press your fingers into the tight muscles of his neck and he makes a contented sound like a purr in his chest. "You're always so tense right here," you say and dig your fingers in, feeling the thrumming muscles loosen somewhat under your touch. Ezra leans back into you as you did to him moments ago, your arms snake around his shoulders, tuck your face against the side of his neck. This thing with you and Ezra is soft and languid and you're not sure how to define it. This is not the fevered, clawed territory of young lovers, the sort of push and pull you had with your ex, the idea that love had to keep proving itself somehow. With Ezra there is nothing to prove. He seems content to ride this gentle wave, to let things play out in their own time. "Turn around," you murmur against his skin, "Not done with you yet." "Now, I am perfectly capable of applying--" he starts, but you see his eyes drop, and know it for what it is. You've known Ezra for a while. The two of you were always friendly, since you moved in across the street from him. Ezra before was even more exuberant, had a swagger about him, confidence in his own skin that is only just now trying starting to return. Ezra before would preen under your gaze if he caught you looking at him while he repainted his deck or put down mulch in his garden, Ezra now shrinks from your eyes. You can see the self-doubt seep in. The worry about his scars, that the loss of his arm makes him less, somehow. "I know," you say, "Maybe I just want an excuse to get handsy." He arcs an eyebrow at you, that brief flash of doubt replaced with his more familiar smug smirk. "Well, have at it, by all means," he says. You spray him with the sunscreen and start rubbing it in, smoothing over his freckled shoulders, down his upper arms, mindful of the tender skin at the end of his stump, the dips of his clavicles, his broad chest, littered in angry pink scars that shout in contrast to the rest of his skin. Punched indentations along his ribs where they'd stuck in tubes to drain the air and blood out of his collapsed lungs. You work your way down along his soft belly and back up his sides, a hissed intake of breathe and you stop. "Does that hurt?" "Nah. Tickles." "Mmm-hmmm. I'll have to remember that so I can use it to my advantage later." "Oh and I'm the menace," he says, his arm curls low around your hip, pulling you nearly flush with him, and you complete the motion, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him tight against you, your chin notched over his shoulder. Cee is creeping up the stairs with a battered plastic bucket in her hands. She shoots you a grin and you know exactly what she has in mind. You back up a little, cup Ezra's stubbled cheeks in your hands and kiss the tip of his nose. "Surprise," you say and take a big step back. There's just time enough for that little furrow to start between his brows and then Cee dowses him, a whole bucket of seawater poured directly over his head. He splutters. His eyes go big and round. Cee is doubled over laughing. "Oh," he says, blinking salt water out of his eyes, "Oh that's it. Today's the day, Cee! I am going to drown you!" "Gotta catch me first, old man!" says Cee and pelts down the beach. You run after them, their bright laughter peals through the warm summer air. Ezra grabs Cee and dunks her into an oncoming wave. She emerges splashing great fans into Ezra's face. "It is only proper that I took my vengeance," says Ezra, holding his hands out to deflect the spray. "I don't think the Geneva conventions apply here, you douche-canoe," says Cee. "Oi! That language--" This is your opening. You grab Ezra around his waist and push off backward into the oncoming wave, pulling him down with you. The two of you come back up, coughing and laughing, arms slung around each other. There's no shadow in Ezra's eyes now, you press your lips to his, the waves roll over you, the tide dragging at your bodies while you and him remain still. Press of your lips to his, your tongue licks out and tastes salt on his lips and he opens for you, his hand cupping the back of your head, guiding you against him, his tongue stroking against yours, no battle for dominance, this, just the plush heat of his mouth, the heave of your chests when you finally break apart, waist deep in the ocean. "I--" says Ezra and Cee's splash hits at face level. "Gotcha!" she crows, and starts running. "You miserable little rat!" He hollers, chasing her through the surf. You stand hip deep in the water and laugh. You're not sure what you and Ezra are to each other. Lovers? Friends? Family? Whatever it this is, it feels right and good. It feels like being home.

A/n: Here is a sampling of Cee’s beach trip playlist:

“I Want To Go To The Beach” by Iggy Pop

“Telstar” by The Tornados

“Cake By The Ocean” by DNCE

“Rockaway Beach” by The Ramones

“Misirlou” by Dick Dale and his Del-Tones

#writer wednesday #ezra prospect x f!reader #ezra (prospect) x f!reader #ezra and cee #prospect au #prospect contemporary AU

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angellissy · 4 years

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a constant worry

Based on these requests: Hi could I have a jjxreader imagine where she is having a sleepover with kie and sarah and something happens where they have to go and get jj? Thank you your writing is amazing!!! and this one angst 13 with jj?🥺

13.“If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” JJ Maybank x reader Warnings: anxiety, stress but also cute JJ :) lmk if I missed any

A/N: I would like to say that this is the imagine that I am most proud of. I poured my soul into this one and really gave it all I had. I have struggled with generalised anxiety disorder for most of my life but got diagnosed last year. It’s hard and looks different for everyone, so this imagine is based on thoughts and worries I have. I don’t want to romanticize anxiety and I really hope I didn’t, but remember it looks different for everyone. I also want to point out that getting the help I needed was the best thing I ever did for myself, so it’s worth a thought if you are struggling. If you struggle with anxiety (or anything else) and need someone to talk to, I am always here!!!! Also hope it was okay that I combined these requests :) thanks to @outabanks for motivating me to post this <3

Your fingers were trembling slightly, making it visibly hard to keep a steady grip on the fork in your hand. It was shaking back and forth, the pasta that you had just dug your fork into was falling off. You watched how it slipped off, how it dropped on to the plate disappearing in the midst of all the other food. “You okay?” You looked up to meet the eyes of your best friend, hers shone with concern. You nodded, trying to shake away the feeling that had been plaguing you for the last couple of hours. “Yeah yeah, I’m fine.” “Is the food okay? We can get something else if you want?” A small smile tugged at your lips while you shook your head at her. “Kie it’s fine, really. I just got lost in my thoughts.” That was one way to put it, getting lost in your thoughts seemed to be the only thing you had been doing lately. You didn’t mean to really, it just kind of happened. It would start with something small, near insignificant, it wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. But to you, it could be the start of the ongoing circle where you got trapped in your mind. Unable to find solace or escape. As a child you would worry about getting trapped in quicksand, shivers would run through your body at the sole thought of not being able to get out. Your mind would be stuck on thinking about what would happen if you ever did get stuck in quicksand, even if the possibilities were narrow. It was only when you got older that you realized that you should have been worrying about your mind and it’s constant attempts to draw you in and keep you there. It worked a lot like quicksand in that sense, the panic that rose felt much like the one that would arise if you ever found yourself trapped knee-deep in the sand that constantly dragged you down.

“So you’re ready for this sleepover then?” Kie asked, giving you her brightest smile, the one that tried to tell you that everything was okay. So you nodded and forced a smile, faking it was better than nothing right? You hoped that the more times you would do it, the smile would stick and never disappear. But the second Kie looked away, it faltered. You were now on said sleepover, lying on a mattress in Sarah’s room with a blanket wrapped around your body as you listened to your friends talk. “I actually think we all should get matching dolphin tattoos, it would be like a memory for whenever we go to college.” Kie excitedly nodded at Sarah’s proposal and they both turned to look at you, faces filled with anticipation and hope. You cleared your throat and gave them a small nod. “Sounds like a great idea, we’ll definitely do that.” Just like with your fingers, your voice couldn’t help but shake. Your eyes quickly found something else to look at other than your friends, they stuck on the picture standing on Sarah’s bedside table. It was a photograph of all of you, your friends, your family. You were all were standing on the beach, your feet were covered in sand, and droplets of water were running down everyone’s body, a consequence of spending the whole day out in the water. You didn’t exactly remember who had taken the picture, but it was most likely a tourist passing through town. The tourist had passed by at the exact right time, managing to snap the loveliest picture of you all. Sarah was standing in the middle, one hand keeping her sunglasses in place while the other was intertwined with John B’s. Next to her was Pope, a large grin played on his lips as he tried to keep his balance, on his back sat Kiara. Her curly brown hair was getting in John B’s face, hiding his eyes. You could almost hear her laughter through the picture. “Guys, guys I am ruining this picture,” Kiara yelled which made Pope stumble ever so slightly, her loud voice had cut through his ears. “Jesus Pope, keep your balance.” She was laughing now, not caring about her hair anymore as she wrapped her arms around him, trying to hinder them from falling down in the sand. They had managed to keep their balance for the following ten seconds. Giving the tourist just enough time to snap the picture. Your eyes moved to the edge of the picture, where you were standing. One of JJ’s arms was wrapped around you, the other one was draped around the surfboard he had been standing on that day. You were wearing his red cap, he had forced it on you when he noticed how tired you had become from the sun. “I don’t need it, baby, it’s fine.” He scoffed at your words, situating it on your head once again. “Be still pretty girl, otherwise we’ll be the blurry couple in the picture.” You had laughed at that, and you would forever have that laugh captured.

He was looking down at you, a smile on his lips as he had heard the way your laugh echoed over the beach. “Reminiscing, huh?” Sarah’s hand was on your arm, bringing you back to reality. “Yeah, I suppose.” You shook your head, trying to come back to what was happening right now, but a part of you lingered in those memories. Sarah and Kie propped down beside you, squeezing themselves in under the blanket. A part of you enjoyed their closeness, while another part of you was starting to wish for the comfort of your own home. You fiddled with the hair tie on your wrist, trying to distract yourself from the discomfort that was growing in your body. What would you do if something happened at Sarah’s? You didn’t know her house like you know your own. If there was a fire you wouldn’t know where all the potential escape routes were. You looked at the clock that ticked on the wall, it was almost midnight. You all were probably going to bed soon, getting tired of gossiping and dreaming about dolphin tattoos. You swallowed hard as you thought about waking up in the middle of the night, you always woke up in the middle of the night. At least for a couple of months you would wake up, feeling the need to go to the bathroom. You wouldn’t wanna disturb all the others, could you even flush without waking up the whole house? “What are you thinking about?” Sarah said, nudging your shoulder. “Um, can I flush the toilet in the middle of the night if I wake up?” Sarah and Kie let out a small giggle at your question. “Of course you can, silly!” You nodded, letting a breath you didn’t even know you had been holding. The girls sitting beside you, got up after a while, changing into pajamas and brushing their teeth. You did too, but not before sending a text to your boyfriend, telling him goodnight, and asking if he was okay. The latter was something you did every night, a habit you couldn’t break even if you wanted too. The lights had been out for thirty minutes now, the lack of light had lulled your friends to sleep. Leaving you alone in the eerie quiet that filled the room. You couldn’t fall asleep, not yet, not before you heard the comforting sound of your phone receiving a message. He still had not answered, not it had almost been forty minutes since you sent it. JJ usually answered right away, unless he was surfing, which he wasn’t since the remnants of the last storm still lingered. You twisted and turned on the mattress, chasing that position that would grant you with the feeling of heavy eyes and calmed breathing. You didn’t find it, rather the opposite. Your eyes were wide open and your breath was far from calm, every time you breathed it felt like you got less and less air in your lungs. You couldn’t wrap your head around why he wasn’t answering. Had he gotten in a fight? No, he probably just to forget to charge his phone again, he did that a lot. But what if his dad had done something to him? You threw the covers off of you, pulled on your pants, and then you were out the door. It was pouring down, the hair on your arms arose, protesting against the cold water and the lack of a jacket. You hadn’t even thought about that, your mind was solely focused on JJ. You wrapped your arms around your body, a way of keeping you warm and trying to slow down the quickened beats of your heart. Where could he be though? He was either at his dad’s or at the chateau. You bit your lip in concentration, debating your options. As much as you hated yourself for it, you didn’t dare go to his house. So you trudged towards the chateau, hoping to find him there.

It was a long walk, it felt even longer when you were shivering with every step that you took. When you finally reached the small house it felt as if the rainwater had become a part of you, if you traced your finger against your arm, all you would feel was water.

The sounds of laughter made you stop in your tracks, but you almost started running when you heard JJ’s voice answer to something John B had said. They were sitting on the backside of the house, almost fully shielded by a sheet that they had hung up in the trees. They were sitting in front of each other on a pair of mediocre camping chairs that looked like they would break any second. You stood still, feet burying themselves in the wet grass. A feeling of shame had washed over you, it had been silly of you to trudge all the way here just because your boyfriend didn’t answer your text. Maybe you could just a turn around and go back? Surely Kiara and Sarah hadn’t noticed, they slept like two old men. “y/n? What are you doing here?” John B’s voice boomed through the stillness surrounding you. “Uh I was just gonna go, I’ll see you guys.” You answered the shame in your veins made it almost impossible to move, it felt like your limbs were being controlled by someone else. You were a puppet, the strings were in the hands of your mind. “Hey hey! You good baby?” JJ was in front of you, hands on your face while he gave you a once over. Searching for something that would indicate if something had happened, he wouldn’t find anything on your body. It was all in your eyes really, the pain and confusion were clear as day in them. You silently wished that all your thoughts and emotions would intertwine with your tears and disappear as they flowed, they didn’t. JJ’s eyes found yours and his thumbs were quick to wipe away the water that streamed down your face. “Oh, my pretty girl.” He whispered the soft tone in his voice made you choke on a sob. “I don’t know why I am like this.” You cried, the frustration made you turn away from him and you hit your palms against your face. Why were you like this? Why couldn’t you just enjoy a night with your friends without worrying about the most absurd things? “If you don’t hug me right now I think I might fall apart.” His hands were suddenly wrapped around your shivering body, trying to keep you grounded, it was as he knew that your thoughts had been mere seconds from flying away with you. “Hey, you’re okay, I’ve got you.” and he really did. His body was pressed against yours for the next couple of minutes. Forcing you to be reminded by his presence and that he really was there, he was okay and so were you as long as you let yourself remember that. Forty minutes later you were laying in his bed, the lights had gone out in the chateau, leaving you both in the darkness. His arms were still around your body, they had only let go when he forced you to change clothes. A too big of a shirt now adorned your still shaking body, but at least you weren’t in rain-soaked clothes, which was all your boyfriend cared about. “I’m sorry that I am like this.” You whispered, your voice breaking through the layer of quiet that had been towering over the two of you for the last hour. His hands were running soothing circles on your back. “Don’t say sorry for something that you can’t control.” He paused, probably thinking carefully about what his next words would be, something he rarely ever did. “I know it is hard for you, and that’s okay. If someone should be sorry, it should be me. I shouldn’t have forgotten to answer you when I know how much it means to you.” You shook your head at him. “That literally just proves my point JJ, I shouldn’t freak out the way I did and then have you tell me you’re sorry.” Your turned your body away from him and curled up in a ball, tears brimmed in your eyes as you stared right into the wall. “I just wish I could turn my brain off.” You whispered into the night. His arms found their way around your body once again, holding you tight to his chest. “Well, I don’t wish that. I love your brain, I love the way you always come up with new ideas that everybody loves. I love how you notice things nobody else would. I love the way you care about me. I love getting those goodnight texts because that’s a first for me you know?” You nodded into his chest, biting your lip as an attempt to stop crying. “If turning your brain meant losing all those things, it wouldn’t be worth it. But that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t get help.” You shut your eyes close at his words, this conversation was one of many, and it always ended with you both fighting. “I only need you.” You muttered, and he chuckled ever so slightly. “I wish that was true, and I wish I could be enough for you, but we both know that’s not the case.” You groaned and turned around so that you were facing him. “Can we talk about in the morning?” He nodded, a small smile played on his lips as he watched your small pout. He leaned his face closer to yours, his forehead rested on yours, noses touching. You wish you could’ve seen his eyes, but the darkness prevented that. But if you had been able too, you would’ve seen the love and admiration that shone there, all for his girl.

#jj maybank #jj x reader #jj maybank imagines #jj imagines #obx jj #obx #outer banks #outer banks imagine #outer banks x reader

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milazka · 4 years

Note

Hi!! 218 from the smut list with JJ please :D

character: jj maybank

prompts: “come to my room, there’s this thing i wanna try”

warning: smut

─── °• ❀ ───

you were all seated by the fire with a beer in your hands, brainstorming about how you were going to get the gold out of the ocean. you were sitting on jj’s lap with his arms around your waist and his chin resting on your shoulder. he had put his infamous red hat on your head, whispering to your ear that it looked hot on you. his hands were now resting on your naked tummy under your sweater and you could feel him slowly moving them up to your breast to tease you. he had teased you all day on the boat and even when you went to eat at the wreck. seeing that the other pogues were in an advanced state of drunkenness, you turned your head towards him and placed your lips against his, biting his lower lip, making him let out a low grunt.

“hmm baby, come to my room, there’s this thing i wanna try,” he whispered to your ear, nibbling at your lobe.

once in his room, he laid you down on the mattress and hovered over you, catching your lips again in a heated kiss. his hands slipped under your sweater and quickly pulled it off, revealing your breast covered with a red lace bra, jj’s favorite color and the same color as his hat that was still on your head.

“fuck, you look hot,” he said, devouring your body with his eyes. he kissed each of your breast with an open mouth before removing the black bandana around his head.

“why did you remove it? i love seeing you wearing it,” you pouted, slipping your hands into his blond messy hair that we’re still a little bit wet from your surfing time.

“i wanna blind you with it while going down on you,” he said in a raspy sexy voice, his eyes filled with sparkling stars. a heat wave immediately invaded every inches of your body and you nodded. you liked it when jj wanted to try something new with you, he was much more experienced than you in this field and he made you discover pleasures you would never have imagined. he gently placed the bandanna over your eyes, plunging you into the darkness before dropping a quick kiss on the tip of your nose.

“relax and enjoy, pretty girl,” your back arched as soon as you felt his tongue slip between your folds and you tried to suppress the pornographic moans everyt time his nose pressed against your clit.

#mila’s blurbs #jj maybank blurb #jj maybank smut

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ckret2 · 4 years

Text

Your Morning Wake-Up Call

So it's @halfshellkayla's bday today and I was like "o heck do u wanna gift?" and she was like "fluffy radiosnake with them being mushy dorks in the morning even though Alastor's gotta get to the hotel in an hour" and I was like "yes."

I wrote this in like an hour so it's not proofed yet, and I'll crosspost it to AO3 uhhhh soon.

Happy bday Kayla, have a deer and a snake being cuddly goofs. No Substance All Fluff. It’s cotton candy from here on out.

###

Sir Pentious was woken by the sound of a voice pressed to his chest mumbling, "You can go to Hell."

"Hhh?"

"Not you." Dry lips pressed a kiss to Sir Pentious's collar bone.

Across the room, Alastor's microphone cane irritably snapped, "You're the one who asked for a wake-up call. Don't blame me!"

"We've already gone to Hell," Sir Pentious pointed out sleepily, just in time for a pile of fabric to hit him in the face as Alastor pulled the covers up over his head.

"Listen," the microphone tried again. "They're gonna expect ya at the hotel in an hour. If you wanna have time to clean up, have breakfast, and get dressed—"

With only his ears sticking out from beneath the covers, Alastor's muffled voice called out, "I can skip my shower."

Sir Pentious didn't think Alastor should skip his shower. On nights when Alastor visited, the compromise they'd reached on the bedroom thermostat to save Sir Pentious from freezing and save Alastor from boiling was still warm enough that Alastor kept two glasses of water on the night stand and sweated heavily enough that Sir Pentious needed to shower in the morning. But if Alastor wanted to skip his shower, that was going to be the hotel's problem, not Sir Pentious's.

The microphone fell silent, accepting these new terms. Alastor tugged the covers back down far enough to let him breathe. Sir Pentious cracked open the eye on his chest, squinting sideways at Alastor's face as the static noise of his breathing evened out into a steady sound like the surf washing on and off a beach. Alastor's eyes had already dropped shut again. The leg Alastor had flung across Sir Pentious's tail twitched, fur rubbing lightly over scales.

Sir Pentious wrapped his arms around Alastor's shoulders, coiled the tip of his tail around one of Alastor's ankles, and was graced by the sight of Alastor's drowsy half-smile unconsciously stretching out into a genuine one.

He looked so sweet when he was asleep.

It was so delightfully misleading.

Alastor yawned sleepily, exposing vicious yellow fangs an inch from Sir Pentious's chest eye; and when his mouth shut, his lips remained parted where his face was pressed against Sir Pentious's chest, causing his teeth to press against the scales. To Sir Pentious's displeasure, he noted that Alastor had started drooling on his chest.

Sir Pentious considered how to address this without waking Alastor up, then lightly dragged the tip of a claw over Alastor’s cheek, hoping it would tickle enough to make Alastor roll over so Sir Pentious could spoon Alastor until his next wake-up call.

It didn’t make Alastor roll over, but he did shifted slightly, causing the tips of his teeth to rasp on Sir Pentious's scales like he was trying to idly nibble him in his sleep; and with a burst of warm affection blooming in his chest, Sir Pentious decided being drooled on was an acceptable sacrifice for the pleasure of having Alastor’s head on his chest. Sir Pentious was already going to have to shower when he got up. He let all his eyes slide shut and drifted off to sleep again.

The microphone said, "Gotta get up now if you want breakfast."

Alastor chucked a pillow across the room.

Sir Pentious flinched as his head hit the mattress. "That was my pillow."

"You can have mine."

"My dear, I'm your pillow."

"Oh?" Alastor was quiet for long enough that Sir Pentious nearly thought he'd fallen asleep again. "Well, there's a quandary, isn't it."

Sir Pentious huffed. He slid his tail out from under Alastor's leg, pressed a hand to the small of Alastor's back, coiled his tail around Alastor's legs, and rolled them both over.

Alastor's eyes flew open, blazing like twin traffic lights in the gloom, and he flailed his arms against the mattress in confusion until Sir Pentious unwrapped his legs. (Alastor didn't like being constricted for more than a few seconds at a time. It drove Sir Pentious mad that he couldn't just wrap around Alastor four or five times and keep him trapped there all night long.) "What...?"

"Substitute pillow." Sir Pentious wriggled his tail in between Alastor's knees, nuzzled his face into the patch of red fur on Alastor's chest, and flared out his hood to block out the meager morning light. "I'm not moving again. Start making up your excuse for why you'll be late to work."

Alastor considered that, then wrapped his arms around Sir Pentious and called across the room, "If you wake me again I'm going to replace you with one of those little mics they clip on newscasters' shirts."

The microphone scoffed. "You'd never." But it dutifully fell silent.

Sir Pentious half-opened a couple of tail eyes so he could locate and pull up the covers again, nuzzled more securely into Alastor's chest, and let out a content hiss.

#radiosnake #alastor #sir pentious #hazbin hotel #fanfic #halfshellkayla

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thatbloodymuggle · 4 years

Text

the one with the deal

Tongue Tied (jj maybank) 10/?

masterlist

word count: 2.7k

warnings: filler

playlist

Rosie was a procrastinator in all aspects of life: school, work, errands, you name it. She'd push things off until the very last minute; until the anxiety ate her alive and she just had to complete whatever task it may have been. One of the worst feelings in the world was that nagging, anxiety-ridden one in her gut she got from ignoring whatever it was she had to do.

Today, however, Rosie was getting rid of that knot in her stomach.

She stood in the doorway of her mother's old room, staring at the work she had to do. Despite her reluctance, she forced herself into the room and stood next to the bed. Rosie ran her fingers along the freshly-washed bedding (thanks to JJ). With a long sigh and shake of her head, she ripped off the covers and set to work.

Goosebumps erupted all over her skin as she slowly stripped down the bed. Rosie created a neat pile in the corner of the folded sheets and covers. She worked until a bare mattress stared back at her. Next came the closet. She worked meticulously, taking clothing off the hangers one by one. Rosie would fold them and place them into one of two piles: keep or give away.

Normally when Rosie cleaned or worked around the house, she liked to play a CD in her boombox. Today, however, she was content in the silence.

Rosie smiled as her fingers brushed along the silky, smooth fabric of the long, red dress her mom had worn to a Midsummer's when she was just a baby. She folded it even more carefully than the others into the keep pile. The give away pile was rapidly growing, while the keep one remained small.

She wasn't sure how long she stood sorting through the seemingly endless rack of material. It had to have been an hour, at least. But Rosie was in no rush.

Rosie, John B, JJ, Pope, and Kie were all waiting for good weather to go out and search for the sunken ship with the drone. Until then, there wasn't much else to do, so Rosie decided to spend the day clearing out her mother's things; something she'd been putting off for months now.

She pulled out the last item in the closet: a UNC sweatshirt that had belonged to her dad. Rosie began to fold it and place it in the keep pile, but paused. She stripped off the t-shirt she was currently wearing and pulled on the oversized sweatshirt instead. It felt odd wearing it. Rosie could remember her mom wearing it nearly every Sunday and her dad wearing it on boating trips before that. While it felt weird, it also felt right; like it belonged on her body.

Enveloped in the memories of both of her parents, Rosie moved the stack of give away clothes into a large cardboard box she'd pulled out. She then loaded the stack of bedding into an identical box. Rosie's ears perked up as she heard a car pulling into her gravel driveway.

Right on time, she thought to herself.

Rosie hauled the box of clothes out of the room and to the front door of her house. She kicked it open just as Kiara hopped out of her car.

"Need help?" Kie smiled.

"Yeah," Rosie huffed, handing her the box of clothes, "You can load this and I'll go in and get the rest."

Kiara nodded and took the cardboard box from her friend, loading it into the trunk of her car. Rosie didn't particularly want help getting rid of her mother's things. However her car was far too small to fit it all, so Kie offered to drive everything over to Salvation Army with Rosie in her larger car.

Rosie hurried back into the house to grab the box of bedding. She handed it to Kie at the front door to load. Rosie walked back into the front room and eyed the peeling paint of a red rocking chair. Her mother had always loved the chair. Every night before she went to bed, Rosie would find her reading in it. Rosie had always thought it was the ugliest thing. She tried to haul it out of the door, but it proved to be too heavy and bulky.

"Gonna need help with this one," she called out to Kie.

She came running over and the two girls loaded the large chair in the back of Kie's car.

"That it?" Kie clapped her hands.

"Just one more thing," Rosie ran back into the house. She returned with a box of broken pots that had been super-glued back together. "That's the last of it, I think."

"Good stuff," Kiara replied. She hopped into the driver's seat and Rosie in the passenger's. "You sure you wanna give it all away?"

"Yeah, it's a bunch of crap anyway. Gonna convert her old room into a guest room," Rosie shrugged. "My house my rules," she added with a grin.

Kie laughed and started the engine, driving out of the driveway and onto the road.

"I have a question. But you have to hear me out before you say no," Kiara spoke while looking at the road ahead. At least she was a better driver than John B, Rosie thought.

"Shoot."

"So Midsummer's is coming up-"

Rosie opened her mouth to protest but Kie held up her hand, signaling for her to wait.

"-and my parents are making me go. I know it's gonna be all Kooky and awful but it'll be so much less Kooky and awful if you come with me," Kiara shot Rosie a hopeful grin.

Rosie rolled her eyes, "No."

"Oh come on, Rosie. It can't be that bad! I'll let you borrow a dress and everything. All you have to do is show up!"

"I love you Kie, but hours of socializing with ignorant, self-centered assholes just isn't appealing."

Kiara sighed, "I know! But we'll have fun together, I promise!" Rosie still didn't look convinced.

"If you come with me I'll take over one of your shifts at the Wreck," Kie offered.

Rosie's ears perked up a bit, "Two and buy me an ice cream."

"Deal," Kie laughed.

Rosie turned to face her friend, "Will they even let a Pogue like me in?"

"Of course they will, you're a family guest," Kie quickly glanced at Rosie before looking back at the road. "And you're the only one of my friends my dad actually likes."

Rosie laughed at this. She'd really grown on the man since she began working for him at the Wreck. Mr. Carrera had also known and respected Rosie's dad before he passed. Sometimes, Rosie thought, Kie's dad forgot that she was a Pogue.

"Whatever you say," Rosie laughed.

A few minutes later, Kiara pulled the car into the parking lot for the Salvation Army store of the OBX. With the help of some workers, Rosie and Kiara unloaded the boxes and chair. Rosie ignored the twinge in her heart as the boxes and her mom's favorite chair was carried away.

"Where to?" Kie chirped as they got back into her car.

Rosie opened her mouth to say home, but the grumbling of her stomach stopped her. "Ice cream?"

Kiara laughed, "Ice cream it is."

The two girls chat the whole way to the ice cream parlor. It was refreshing spending time with just Kiara. Rosie hadn't realized how overwhelming the male energy of their friend group could be. So Rosie sat contently on a bench outside the shop, licking at a strawberry cone next to Kiara who had a vanilla.

"So," Kie spoke in between licks, "Did JJ ever apologize to you after the kegger? I know it was a while ago, but we haven't gotten a chance to talk about it."

Rosie scrunched her brows together. She'd done her best to forget about that night.

"Some way or another," Rosie shrugged, not indulging her in details.

Kie nodded, "I don't know what's gotten into him lately. He's always insane, but recently it's like he's on crack too."

Rosie snorted at this, accidentally wiping some of her pink ice-cream onto her nose.

"Wouldn't be shocked," she mumbled, wiping the ice-cream off with a napkin. "How 'bout John B? Forever friendzoned?"

Kie shrugged with a sigh, "I think so. I don't know. It's complicated."

"Well he's under the impression he's in the friendzone," Rosie began to eat her cone.

"He is! I mean, I'd be lying if I said there wasn't a part of me that wanted to try something with him, but there's a bigger part of me that feels wrong about it, you know?"

Rosie knew. She definitely knew. But she simply nodded instead.

"Speaking of John B, I told him I'd go surfing with him at sunset. JJ and Pope will probably join too. Wanna come?" Kiara asked her friend.

Any other day, Rosie would be jumping out of her seat to go surfing, but not today. She was weirdly exhausted; not physically, but mentally. All she wanted was to sleep for 15 hours when she got home.

"I'm honestly really tired," Rosie finished off her cone. "I think I'm just gonna go to sleep early tonight--like, really early."

Kiara frowned, but nodded, "Let me give you a ride at least."

The two girls returned to her car and set off towards Rosie's home. It only took about five minutes to reach the small house. Rosie shot her friend one last smile, "I miss hanging out just us two. We should do stuff more often."

Kiara's eyes widened in agreement, "Definitely. Too much testosterone."

The two girls laughed as Rosie unbuckled her seat belt and exited the large car.

"Good weather tomorrow, right?" she called out, holding the car door open.

"Yep. Going deep sea exploring. 11:00. Don't be late," Kie winked and Rosie shut the door with one last wave.

Rosie smiled softly as the car drove away. She then entered her house with a sigh. The first thing she noticed was it felt much emptier; but not in a bad way. Before it had felt suffocating. Now, Rosie could finally breathe a little easier. She peeked out the window to glance at the setting sun. Rosie's eyes drooped and head ached from exhaustion. Not just from today, but from the past few days. She'd had too many sleepless nights thinking about the treasure hunt, her mother, JJ. All Rosie wanted was one dreamless sleep. She longed for the gears in her brain to stop turning. So, with no hesitation, Rosie prepared herself for what would (hopefully) be a dreamless sleep.

"All right, JJ. Pin it here!"

"Roger that! X marks the spot."

Rosie leaned against the side railing of the Heyward boat next to Kiara, looking out at the horizon of calm water. Anticipation was thick in the air as the teenagers got ready for what could possibly be one of the greatest days of their lives. They were about to find gold.

John B walked over to where Kiara and Rosie stood, preparing the drone to go underwater.

"All right ladies and gentlemen," he hovered the contraption over the edge of the boat, "to going full Kook!"

Rosie watched as he lowered the drone and handed off the wire to Kiara. Rosie watched with a piece of chalk in hand as the other girl continued to lower it in the water. John B had moved over to the digital map to direct JJ, while Pope took charge of moving the camera of the drone.

"All right, JJ, we're right over it. Ten seconds northwest," John B instructed the blond who was steering the boat.

"Got it. Ten seconds northwest!"

Rosie watched the wire Kiara was releasing until it hit a red mark signaling 100 feet. Rosie took her piece of chalk and made a tally along the edge of the boat.

"100 feet!" the two girls called out. Kiara continued releasing the rope.

Rosie looked up at the sky to see it was much darker than a minute before. She frowned, and anxiety began to settle in her. She did not want to get caught up in a storm and lose the drone.

"And to quote The Hobbit, "Down, down, to Goblin Town. Down, down you go my lad," Pope, who was manning the blank screen, spoke.

Rosie and Kiara continued lowering the drone and counting the number of feet.

"400 feet!" Kiara called out while Rosie marked her fourth tally with the chalk.

The previously calm water was beginning to stir.

"The tide's turning," Rosie added with a wavering voice.

"JJ?" John B grabbed the blond's attention. "Ten seconds easy. South-southeast. Alright?"

JJ replied without turning back, "Copy that!"

The water seemed to be getting rougher by the second, and John B's directions reflected that.

"JJ, 20 seconds mid-speed south!"

"Aye aye!" he affirmed, but the boat was having difficulty turning. Dark clouds darkened the previously bright sky, and thunder rumbled.

JJ turned back towards the two girls, "Keep the tether out of the prop!"

"I'm trying!" Kie panicked

"700 feet!" Rosie called out and made another mark along the edge of the boat.

The waves were now rocking the boat a great deal. Kie released the rope even faster than before, and Rosie stumbled slightly underneath he shifting weight.

"JJ, hold steady!"

"900!" Rosie yelled, struggling to maintain her composure.

"JJ, we'll turtle in this storm!" Pope verbalized everyone's concern.

The two girls continued with the rope, "920!"

"John B, there's too much current. We're gonna lose it!" Kie cried as the rope was pulled away from her. Rosie rushed over to her friend and pulled back with her in an attempt to regain control.

John B yelled at his friend behind the wheel, "Southwest, JJ. Hard!"

While the two girls held the wire steady, Pope and John B scanned the screen.

"What do you got Pope? Come on, man. What do you see?"

"Nothin'. A whole lot of nothin'."

Kie and Rosie released the rope a little more, "960! 970! 980!"

Pope shouted in excitement, "I'm at the bottom! JJ, hold steady!"

Suddenly, the water seemed to calm and the thunder stopped. It was as if the storm knew they'd found it.

"Good God," John B breathed in awe.

Rosie and Kie rushed over to the screen John B and Pope were staring at. It took a moment for their eyes to adjust, but sure enough, there it was. The Royal Merchant. The four teenagers watched silently as Pope moved the camera around, searching for the gold. But the more it scanned the ship, the more their hopes dropped.

"It's not there," John B sighed, "just pull the drone up."

He hung his head in disappointment.

"We can do another pass. Recharge the battery. We can go back down!" Pope tried to remain optimistic, but John B and JJ weren't having it.

"Guys we've been through it 3 times. There's nothing there!" JJ yelled.

"Shut up!" Rosie hissed.

The blond whipped around to glare at her, "What? It's true!"

"The gold could be buried, we don't know!" Kie sided with Pope, but it wasn't convincing enough.

"If it was there, it would've been found on the metal detector, okay?" John B yelled in distress. "Somebody beat us to it."

The anticipation that had filled the air morphed into disappointment. But no one's disappointment was greater than John B's. Rosie would be lying if she said she wasn't a little let down, but she felt much worse for her friend. His motivation for doing all this had been his father--it wasn't about the money.

So the Pogues rode back to shore slowly in silence. No one spoke. They all just listened to the distant rumbling of thunder and the splashing of waves.

taglist:

@tangledinsparkles @lovelymaybankk @my--heroine@thelonelyumbrella @floretsoleil @flick24 @books-netflix-and-pizza@dad-ee-drea @dolanfivsosxox @anahgiedd @love-bean @maleriefay @mrs-maybank @shawnssongs @downbytheouterbanks @lostwnoah @2410slb @daygiowvibe @thesailbells

another filler oops! next chapter is gonna be BIG though ;)

#jj maybank #jj maybank smut #rudy pankow #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fanfic #jj maybank fanfiction #jj x reader #jj maybank x oc #jj x oc #outer banks #outer banks fanfic #outer banks fanfiction #John b #John b routledge #pope heyward #rafe cameron

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reaperintheroses · 4 years

Text

When I’m Ready part 2

Word Count: 5217 Warnings: Angst, Fluff, mean reader, Bisexual reader A/N: Hello! So part two is finally here and I’m sorry it took so long! I ended up having to work a lot this week when I wasn’t supposed to. I was so surprised at all the love part one received and it makes me feel super happy and joyful inside that everyone liked it! I am opening requests for oneshot ideas as well as just blurds/ drabbles. Also feel free to either just pop in and say hi or ask me questions to get to know me better! Also feel free to let me know if you want to be tagged in future works about outer banks! Beta’d by the baby pogue queen @uwubonebabie As you all know I took some inspiration from lots of her baby pogue works. She just updated her masterlist and theres like so many more fics to read. Go check out her page. Take my word for it you won’t regret it! Part One

It had been about forty minutes before you heard two sets of footsteps barrel down the hallway and two more sets walk a little more calmly. You were still crying but at this point, you had quieted down a little. You heard someone pound on the door. Knowing that you wouldn’t be able to face any of them for a few days you decided to just let them knock and hope that they would just eventually get the message. After a few minutes, the banging still hadn’t even died down and was accompanied by your brother’s voice begging you to just talk to him. Rolling over in your bed you faced the wall. Soon JJ’s voice started to accompany John B’s. “Come on (y/n), we just wanna know your okay,” you could hear him say with desperation in his voice. You could feel your throat getting tight again. “Please just go away, John B.” You sniffled as you felt a new round of tears rise to the surface. You could hear a few small shifts in the floorboards and made a guess that they were looking at each other trying to decide what the best course of action was. Eventually, the tears fought their way through your resistance and you started to sob loudly again. Hearing the floorboards creak once more you knew that you were alone. You knew that you needed to get some Advil and water but they were probably all sitting around in the kitchen and you just couldn’t face them right now. You looked over to the framed picture on your messy bedside table of your dad, your brother, and you. You were on your dad’s back and John B. was jumping up behind you trying to photobomb. You still didn’t know what happened to him or if he was ever coming back. You grabbed the picture and studied it for a moment before clutching it to your chest. You started to cry even harder. A few moments later you fell into a restless sleep.

When you woke up it was one in the morning. You could hear JJ’s snores and your brother’s mattress moving. Your head hurt. Like a lot. You slowly sat up from your bed and frowned when you saw that the picture had fallen onto the ground while you were asleep. Bending down to put it back up on your bedside table and then stretched. You looked around for the off chance that you still had Advil in your room from your last headache. No such luck. Grabbing your empty water bottle you threw on a pair of socks to try to stifle your footsteps. First, you opened the door and looked down the hall to see JJ sleeping on the pullout couch. John B.’s door was closed. Walking on your tiptoes you crossed the hall into the bathroom. Opening the cabinet door you grabbed the pain relief. Walking down the hall into the kitchen you filled up your water bottle. Setting the two items on the counter, you looked over at JJ’s sleeping form. Even from where you were standing you could smell the weed. Good. He wouldn’t wake up at a small noise. Opening the cabinet as softly as possible to grab the bread and then the peanut butter. Opening the fridge you grabbed the grape jelly and as an afterthought, you grabbed an apple. Making your sandwich you grabbed a plate for your food. You cut your apple and then after everything was on the plate you washed off everything and put it back in its proper place. Walking back to your room plate in one hand, Advil and water bottle in the other you tried to open your door as silently as possible without dropping anything. Setting the bottle of pills on the dresser you quietly ate and tried to have some water. You heard your phone vibrate against your bed. Looking over to the device in question that you had discarded there earlier you wondered who was texting you at this time of night. You didn’t really talk to many people regularly. You didn’t have a whole lot of friends and your brother only texted you when you weren’t going to see a lot of each other that day just so you knew where he was. It vibrated again and you reached across your bed to grab it. Giving your eyes a few minutes to adjust to the brightness you munched on your sandwich. You looked at who the sender was and you felt the downturned corners of your mouth straighten out. It was from Anna. You were surprised she was texting you already after what happened before. Then you scrolled up on the screen and saw she had replied to your earlier texts about what happened and your apology. She was wondering if you wanted to go to the beach in a few hours to watch the sunrise and talk. You texted back a yes and looked at what time you would need to leave. Grabbing your backpack that was at the foot of the bed you took out the book that you bought earlier and opened it. You allowed the fictional world to swallow you whole and wrap you in its calming embrace.

Looking over at the clock you saw that hours had passed. Throwing on a swimsuit in hopes of being able to get in the water for a few minutes, you repacked your backpack. Checking that your door was still locked you hopped that they had the decency to leave you alone at the early hours of the morning and that they would just think that you were sleeping in. Opening your window you grabbed your longboard and threw it out the window. Then you moved everything on your bedside table onto the dresser and put on your backpack before you positioned it against the window. Climbing on top of the table you grabbed the window sill. Pulling yourself up you swung one leg outside. After making sure you had a good foothold you moved the other and dropped to the ground. Grabbing your longboard you stalked off the main road trying to avoid the gravel in case someone was sleeping on the porch or JJ was already awake and moving around. Making it to the main road you set off in silence. You tried to keep your thoughts quiet. They would only make everything worse. You knew, deep down, that you needed to talk to them. Or at the very least you needed to talk to your brother. He deserved at the very least to know you were alive. It was dusk outside. You looked around as you emerged onto the heart of the cut. The only people you saw were early bird fishermen. You nodded in acknowledgment to everyone you came across. Letting yourself breathe in the smell of the ocean in the morning you looked out onto the horizon starting to see just the very top of the sun. Pushing off once more to gain some more speed you stuck up one hand to feel the wind. As you came up onto the dock from yesterday you came to a full stop. Swallowing hard you shut your eyes and let the memories from yesterday wash over you and play like a recap. You could hear Kie asking you to talk, could feel your brother’s shocked gaze. Brushing away the stray tear that had fallen you turned back.

Pushing onward you made it to the familiar place where the pavement broke off and the sand started to replace it. Picking up the board you walked to the familiar hidden entrance. Moving the trees that covered the walkway you ducked down to avoid getting branches stuck in your hair. Emerging onto the beach you looked down to the spot from yesterday and saw Anna gazing out to the waves. “You know you should come to the boneyard sometime to go surfing.” You smiled and walked up to her blanket. She looked up at you and gave you a small grin. “That’s pogue turf, are you sure I wouldn’t get chased off the land?” She laughed quietly. “I’m sure you’d be fine if they knew you were with me,” you replied. She breathed in and smoothed down the spot next to her offering you a place to sit. Setting down your longboard you shrugged off your backpack and set it down next to the blanket. She gave you a small frown before she looked back out onto the ocean. “You know (y/n), we need to talk about what happened yesterday.” She looked back over to you to display that you had her full attention. You sucked in a breath. “If you’re not out to your family, I’m not going to pressure you to say anything to them,” She gazed down at you, “but I still want to know what that means for us.” You closed your eyes and just listened to the ocean for a few seconds before you made eye contact with her. “You’ve obviously heard the horror stories right?” You asked her. “I’ve never told them because I didn’t want it to not go well and me not have a place to go if something went wrong,” you swallowed down the thought of something like that actually being your reality when you finally got around to talking to everyone. “As for what that means for us, I’m not ashamed to be seen around you,” you swallowed and looked at her, “I just think we should lay low until I can get around to talking to them.” You finished and stared at her. “So that’s a no on changing my Facebook status to ‘Dating an awesome surfer dude-bro pouge’?” She giggled at you. “Probably not.” You laughed back. You both settled back into a calm silence and watched as the colors of the sky change from dark to light blue. You felt yourself thinking. Telling yourself that you could do it when you got home. Say to them ‘I’m bisexual, I like men and woman,’ you knew that was wishful thinking, that you could just go up to them and say it. The sky looked like a painting, you wished you could enjoy it without all this weight on your shoulders, knowing that when you go home you were going to have to make a decision.

The sun had almost fully made its appearance. Anna turned to look at you. “Would you want to grab some food with me?” She asked looking hopeful. You pulled out your wallet to see where you could go with what you brought. Your face fell. “Anna, I would love to but I don’t have enough money with me.” She looked thoughtful at you for a moment. “Don’t be serious, you’re giving me surf lessons consider it payment,” she grabbed your hand in hers, “Also this way you don’t have to go back to your house.” You considered the pros and cons for a minute and came to the conclusion that it wouldn’t hurt. Besides afterward you and Anna could spend the early afternoon in the cut because the other pogues were helping Pope deliver groceries today. They would almost definitely take out Heyward’s boat for a spin. Standing up to dust off the sand from your clothes, you offered her your hand. “Why not,” you asked, “and later we can spend the early afternoon in the cut.” Her grin twisted into a frown. “Oh I would love to but my parents need me to stay in the 8 today.” She replied looking disappointed. Damn. You thought about who Pope delivered groceries to on Wednesdays. Okay. It was all fine. The probability of them even seeing you were slim. “Okay, then I guess we’re just going to spend the day around the 8,” you replied trying to get her to lose the frown. You quickly gathered up your things and helped her fold up the blanket. Walking hand in hand you made it to the small entrance of the beach. You looked out at the sky. Inside your head, you were saying to yourself ‘please don’t let me regret this.’ You were having a great time. You and Anna went to eat breakfast at a small cafe. You felt super bad that she paid for you as well even though she spent the latter part of the meal convincing you that it was fine. You let her lead you everywhere because you had no idea what to do on that side of the island. Tugging your hand she led you inside a store with lots of surfing apparel. “I know I need more than a swimsuit most of the time, I just don’t know what I need,” she glanced around, “Will you help me pick some stuff out?” You gave her a small smile and walked over to a rack or rashguards. You had her pick out three. While she was trying everything on you grabbed a wetsuit and threw that over the door and explained what everything did. You were glad that this was something she was genuinely interested in. She came out of the dressing room with a smile on her face. While she bought everything you looked around to see if there was anything you wanted that you could save up for. You felt someone behind you. “Are you ready to go?” She held out her hand to you. Grabbing it and lacing her fingers in yours you let her guide you out of the store onto the street. You placed down your longboard and pushed off the ground lazily. She pulled you out to the docks where the kooks kept their boats. That’s when you saw it. The Heyward’s boat. Goddamnit. Why couldn’t you just enjoy yourself and act like a normal teenager? When she felt you not moving she turned to you. “Hey what’s wrong (y/n)?” She followed your line of sight and looked back at you confused. “That’s my brother's friend's boat,” you said solemnly. Realization dawned on her face. “Oh, should we just part ways right now?” She looked sad yet understanding. You knew that if you turned around right now you could hide in some boutique until the boat moved along. “I’m sorry,” you apologized, “once I can talk to them I promise things will be different.” You glanced back to the boat as if you could see them around the deck. She spread her hands as if to give you a hug. You leaned in and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She shifted everything in her arms and looked at you. “I’ll text you tonight, ya?” She asked with disappointment clear on her face. You were about to reply when you heard someone shout to you. “Hey, (y/n) I thought you were at home.” You heard your brother yell, catching the attention of some onlookers. “That sounds like my cue to leave, I’ll see you soon.” She looked over her shoulder before swerving past you. You grabbed your board and readjusted your backpack. You turned around trying to pretend that you hadn’t heard him but just as you turned to walk away you heard footsteps running towards you. John B. grabbed your shoulder to keep you from walking away any farther. “I know you heard me, (y/n), don’t act like you didn’t.” He kept his hand heavy on your shoulder. You turned around to look at him. “What, so I’m not allowed to leave the house without telling you now?” You tried to play dumb and plastered a shocked look on your face. He sighed. You looked over his shoulder to see the other pogues staring at you two. “You know for a fact that’s not what I meant,” he gazed into your eyes, “I just want to talk to you, that’s it.” You knew deep down in your mind that being mean to him wasn’t going to solve anything. It didn’t stop you though. “You know what JB, I don’t owe you jack shit,” you seethed, “ I don’t need to tell you anything so regardless of what you have buried in your thick skull that I need to tell you about what you saw yesterday it’s wrong.” You could see the hurt in his eyes. You brushed his hand off your shoulder and turned around. “I don’t care about what you want John B.” You stalked off. After you turned around the street you felt a few tears slip down your face. Brushing them away, you kept on walking. You hopped none of them would follow. You knew you had been horrible, but at the moment you didn’t care.

Opening the chateaus screen door you kicked off your shoes. Walking into your room you set down your longboard and tossed your backpack onto your bed. You walked over to your window and moved the bedside table back over to its normal spot. You moved all the little trinkets that you moved earlier back to their original spot. You shimmied out of your shorts and pulled your shirt off. Throwing them into your closet to be dealt with later. Grabbing a towel out of your closet and snatching your sunglasses off of your dresser you decided that you would go for a small swim in the marsh since you didn’t get in the water this morning. Walking out through the back door you saw that John B.’s van wasn’t in the driveway. Good. He drove and probably gave the other pogues a ride. You would be able to tell when they came home and with luck, you would be able to make yourself less noticeable. Hopping on the deck of the pogue you moved to the side to make sure that the boat was anchored. After checking that it wasn’t going to launch itself into the water after you jumped off you walked to the bow. You pencil dived off and let the water wash over you and cool you down. Climbing back on you spread out your towel on the deck and laid down on top of it. You tossed your sunglasses next to you and you shut your eyes, you felt the sun kiss your skin and calm you down. You started to feel tired and found it hard to try and open your eyes. You let unconsciousness overtake you.

You felt cold droplets of something fall on your face. Groaning you threw your hand over your eyes trying to will yourself to fall asleep again. The droplets just switched to your stomach. Moving your hand you opened your eyes ready to grab your stuff and move to the hammock so the rain would stop hitting you and you could continue your nap. Turning over ready to grab your sunglasses you were greeted by three pairs of eyes and JJ with his hand outstretched ready to flick more water onto you. Shrieking you backed away and clutched at your chest trying to get yourself to calm down. “What the hell is wrong with the three of you?” You hissed. You watched Kie’s face move from a questioning glance to an angry frown. “What the hell is wrong with us,” she asked sarcastically, “What the hell is wrong with you (y/n).” After calming your breathing you sat up and glared at her. “What are you talking about, Kie?” You asked knowing that maybe for once playing dumb would actually work in your favor. “You know exactly what we’re talking about,” Pope chimed in. “You were super mean and rude to John B. when all he wanted to do was talk to you.” Pope glared at you. Folding your arms over your chest you looked at Kie in the eyes. “I don’t know what you want from me,” you replied. Kie sucked in a breath of air and opened her mouth but JJ set an arm on her shoulder to stop her. He looked at you. “We just want you to talk to him is all, what you said really hurt him.” He looked down at you. Your thoughts were turning. All you felt was unjust rage. You tried to shut your mouth. It didn’t work. “I don’t owe him, or any of you for that matter, anything.” You looked at each of them in turn. “I don’t know what it is that you think I need to say because unfortunately, you guys make a huge deal about the smallest things that go on in my life.” Kie’s eyes softened and she seemed ready to give you a small pep talk but that just fueled your fire. “I’m so done with each and every one of you-” once the words started coming you wished you could take them back- “you can’t make me talk to him and explain what he saw yesterday, maybe if he had half a brain he could just put two and two together and we could just avoid this altogether.” You breathed out. “Now, if you’ll excuse me I was trying to sleep.”

You grabbed your towel up from the ground and moved around the helm of the boat and stepped off onto the ground. You heard someone, probably Kie, move to try and follow you. You heard the footsteps stop and then some murmuring for a few seconds. Walking over to the hammocks you jumped up into one and wrapped yourself in your towel as if it was a blanket. You looked up at the trees and watched as the sunlight that made it through the canopy of leaves danced on the ground. You thought about everything you had said that day to your brother and his friends who were basically family and cringed. Sometimes you wished you could shut your mouth before you said anything. Or better yet just never talk at all. You heard crunches as someone approached you sat up to see who it was. When you saw JJ approaching you with a small frown on your face. You looked off to the side. He set his hand on the hammock. “Can I sit,” he asked. Opening and closing your mouth for a second you decided he would do it regardless of what you said. “Might as well,” you replied. Looking out again you felt him rub his hand over his face. “You realize that you’ve been a bitch right?” He folded his hands in his lap and stared at the side of your head. You realized that there were two routes you could go with your response. You could continue to be rude and succeed in your quest of becoming a professional jerk or you could just let go and accept that this wasn’t just some small thing that you could let go and pretend never happened. You decided that the latter would get you farther. “I know.” you looked down at the towel that had pooled around your waist. He grabbed your hand and cupped it around yours. “I understand that this is gonna be a difficult conversation for both of you but I can promise that he will be nothing but supportive.” He exhaled. “You know if he wasn’t we would kick his ass.” That got you to give him a smile. “How about this-” you turned to look up at him- “if you go talk to him we can all watch some chick flick together, you can pick.” You started to play with a loose thread at the bottom of his shirt. Deciding that it would be best to just go and apologize. “Where is he,” you asked quietly. “In his bedroom,” he glanced towards the bushes that were blocking his view to the boat, “I’ll keep them outside till you come to grab us for the movie.” You moved your hand away and pecked him on the cheek before jumping down.

Opening the back door you walked into your house. Passing the kitchen into the hallway that your brother and your bedrooms were in. Walking past his room you walked into your own and got dressed into some comfy clothes. Braiding your hair you tried to take as long as possible. When you finally finished and tied it off you decided that now was as good a time as ever. You reached for your door handle before you turned around and threw open your underwear drawer. Digging threw to the back you grabbed the small bisexual flag that Anna had given to you a few months back. Stuffing it in your pocket you shut your drawer and put your hand on the knob. Twisting you walked out and shut the door before you could stop yourself. The hallway seemed to almost double in length. You shut your eyes and walked down the hallway that you had memorized. Stopping in front of his door you raised your fist to knock. You hesitated. Maybe in the time, you had taken to change he had left to go to the store and it would be pointless to knock. Maybe he was asleep. Maybes swirled around in your head. Your hand fell. You stuffed it in your pocket and felt the fabric of your flag. You tried to control your breathing. In. Out. You knocked against the door twice before. Stepping back you leaned against the wall. You balled up the flag in your hand. You heard shuffling around before the door fell open and John B. looked at you with wide eyes. He moved aside and gestured for you to come in. Making your fist tighter you walked inside. You hovered by the door and made sure that it was cracked in case you needed to bolt. He sat down on the bed. You looked at him and felt a small frown grow on your face. “Aren’t you going to say something,” you asked already feeling a pit of dread grow in your stomach. He looked up at you and smiled. “I’m not going to say anything until it’s okay.” He gestured for you to come to sit on the bed. Walking over you sat as far away from him as possible. You were expecting the worse. You shut your eyes and gathered your thoughts. Finally, you looked over at him. “So I guess the cats already out of the bag,” you started. He made a keep going gesture with his hands. You knew it wouldn’t be that easy but you still had a very tiny sliver of hope. You were trying to think of how to best put your words together. “So the girl you saw me with, her name is Anna.” You started to play with your hands so that you wouldn’t have to look at him. “She’s my girlfriend.” You tried your hardest to keep your voice even. “I met her at school,” you were staring at the covers now trying to do anything to avoid his gaze. Looking over at the door to make sure that it was still cracked, you glanced up at him. Here came the hard part. “I’m-” you hesitated, if this went wrong that was it- “I’m bisexual, I like men and women.” He moved towards you. You tried really hard to not shy away. He pulled you into a hug. Hiding your face into his shoulder you felt a few tears start to slip down your face for the third time today. You felt something cold fall onto your forehead. Looking up from his shoulder you saw that he was crying too. You hugged for a while. “You know, if dad was here he would be really proud of you.” He peered down at you with a small smile. You leaned against him and tried to not start crying again. You cleared your throat. “You know everyone else is waiting for us to come to get them, so we should probably go do that.” He laughed. You moved away from him and heard the sheets rumple. You heard him stretch and crack his back. Picking up your gaze you saw that he was holding a hand out to you. Grabbing it and groaning you let him pull you up with little resistance. Stretching out you heard him play with his hands for a moment. “You do realize you need to apologize to everyone right,” he said with no hint of scolding. Breathing in deeply through your nose, you sighed. “I know,” you replied. You walked hand in hand to the back patio. He went first and opened the door. When you followed you saw everyone sit up a little straighter. John B. nudged you with his toe. You turned to glare at him for a second before you turned back to them. “I-” you got flashbacks from the entire day and cringed- “I’m sorry I was such a bitch today.” You tried to think of how to best phrase everything. “I shouldn’t have acted so childishly.” you started to talk with your hands. “I was upset and wasn’t thinking right.” You looked at each of them in turn. “I feel super horrible and I’m hoping you can forgive me.” You let your hands fall down to your sides. You saw them look at each other before they looked back at you. “You were forgiven the moment you walked out that door with your brother,” Kie replied giving you a tiny smile. You felt the relief flow through you. “Though I do believe I promised you a chick flick and it’s starting to get cold out here.” JJ gestured for you to lead the way inside. Opening the screen door you held it open for everyone as they all filed inside. John B. and Kie walked over to the kitchen to start making snacks. Pope and JJ started to fold away the pull out while you walked over to the small shelf of movies. Grabbing Dirty Dancing, you walked over to the small T.V. to set it up. After you popped the DVD in you stood up and brushed off your legs. Turning back around you saw a half of the blankets in the house had been pilled on the couch. Walking over to the kitchen you saw that Kie had set out the snacks on the counter and was smiling over at the setup the boys were trying to make. Smiling with her you walked over to the hallway. Reaching your room you grabbed your phone off the bedside table you texted Anna the good news. After a moment of thinking, you added that you were going to hang out with your family tomorrow. Walking back out to the living room you saw that they were all waiting for you. Going to sit on your usual spot on the end you felt a sharp tug before you realized you had been pulled into the middle of the couch. Seeing your brother glance down at you for a second before looking back at the screen. Snuggling into him you felt JJ rest his hand on your thigh and start to rub circles into your skin. You turned and saw that the sky had turned into a nice pink. Turning back to the screen you smiled thanking all your lucky stars you got an awesome family by choice. @beth-winchester21 @losers-club6

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