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#I swear I’m gay— he just has dyed hair
verstappen-cult · 3 months
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HOW YOU GET THE GIRL | CL16
— 03. THE DRAMA
PREV. PART | NEXT PART — [ SERIES MASTERLIST ]
summary: in which charles has an embarrassing crush on alex's childhood best friend and everyone meddles. content warnings: faceclaim is taylor hill but you can picture her as you’d like! some cursing and a tiny bit of angst because why not. time jump of a month approx.
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INSTAGRAM POST
📍 LONDON, ENGLAND — JUN 27, 2023
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Liked by alex_albon, landonorris and 897,455 others
yourusername i kinda like it here. ⛳️
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user66 uh excuse me? the second slide???
user67 IS THAT CHARLES ???? user68 I THINK SO
alex_albon i feel betrayed.
yourusername stop being so dramatic
user69 my parents are together i still can’t believe it
user70 oh my god okay it’s happening
user71 everybody stay calm OH MY GOD user72 are they together? user71 girl go on twitter and see
landonorris let’s play and see who’s better
yourusername me ofc
charles_leclerc ❤️
user73 relationship goals
user74 lol we don’t even know if they’re dating user75 they kissed in front of thousand of people AND on live tv what are you talking about
user76 he’s too good for her
user77 who is she anyway. user78 stop being so childish, he’s never gonna date u
user79 who wouldn’t want to date her i mean just look at her
user80 all these people saying charles is too good for her like ??? SHE’S too good for him
user81 she will get bored in a few days mark my words
danielricciardo Ok but who won?
charles_leclerc i won! yourusername charlie don’t lie maxverstappen1 I don’t believe anything he says ever since I won fair and square playing FIFA and he threw the controller at me. landonorris he did that to you too? pierregasly that’s nothing. he threw a padel racket at my head, i still don’t remember anything from that day. charles_leclerc ffs shut up yourusername leave him alone you bullies
user82 i love how all the drivers are calling charles out lol
Y/N’S iMESSAGE
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“that’s not how you make pasta!” you’re dying with laughter at seeing charles trying to cook.
“i asked you if i could cook!” charles can’t help but join you in your laughter, leaving the burned pasta aside.
“because you said you knew how to!”
“you better not believe anything i say.” he takes a sip of wine. the one he brought alongside the beautiful flowers that are now adorning your terrace.
“not even when you say how much you like me?” you pout, looking at him beneath your eyelashes.
charles walks the short distance to where you are sitting in the kitchen counter and you happily make room for him between your legs, arms finding your waist in no time.
“you should a hundred percent believe that.”
“mh i don’t know,” you tease, playing with his soft hair. god, you love his hair so much. “i think you should show me.”
“oh i’m definitely going to do that.”
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INSTAGRAM POST
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Liked by sabrinacarpenter, gigihadid and 566,328 others
yourusername 💐
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user83 that’s one hell of a bouquet
user84 charles knows what he’s doing
gigihadid Can’t wait to see you this weekend!
❤️ by author
user85 i wanna be her so bad :(
user86 If it weren’t for Charles nobody would know who she is. He put her on the map.
user87 this is a grown ass man by the way user 88 i swear to god men are so in love with charles is getting kinda scary
carmenmmundt What a beautiful picture 💛
user89 tired of her comment section being all about charles
user90 fr like they forget she’s her own person user91 I just know she doesn’t like this at all, she’s always speak up about these kind of things user92 if this were to happen the other way around everyone would be insulting her
user93 CHARLES IS WITH HER RN OHMYGOD
user94 what are you taking about user93 LOOK AT CHARLES STORIES HE LITERALLY JUST POSTED THE PICTURES user95 if it wasn’t for the close up of the flowers we wouldn’t even know they’re together user96 he def did it on purpose
user97 the boys, the girls, the gays, they all like Y/N
INSTAGRAM STORIES
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landonorris has replied to your story
landonorris: *chandler bing’s voice* can I BE any more obvious? charles_leclerc: just stop watching friends, i beg you
maxverstappen1 has replied to your story
maxverstappen1: Uh, so that’s why you wouldn’t travel with me. Interesting. charles_leclerc: can i use air max for the next race? 🥺
pierregasly has replied to your story
pierregasly: you guys make me sick charles_leclerc: Y/N says to shut up pierregasly: 🤮🤮🤮
yourusername has replied to your story
yourusername: i like this soft launch/hard launch thing charles_leclerc: i bet you like me more yourusername: debatable charles_leclerc: i can make you change your mind 😏
TWITTER — JUN 28, 2023
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TWITTER — JUN 30, 2023
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TWITTER — JUL 02, 2023
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ALEX’S iMESAGGE
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TAGLIST (bold means i couldn’t tag you) — @leclerc16s. @willowpains. @berrnuu. @minkyungseokie. @1655clean. @sassyheroneckgiant. @scott-mccall-could-lift-mjolnir. @nessacarty1. @a1leexxa. @storminacloud. @lovstappen. @littlehoneyfreak. @paintedbypoetry. @thatoneembarrasingmoment.
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note: hiii besties, take this as an early new years present! this was supposed to be posted after dec 31st but couldn’t leave it in the drafts. there is at least one or two more chapters, so if you still wanna be added to the taglist let me know! <3
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rkivepetals · 4 months
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oneshots.
The witch sisters (jjk)
When your seven witch sisters come across your almost- boyfriend.
Pumpkin spiced latte (jjk)
Jungkook loves pissing you off. Really
I think we’re soulmates (jjk)
When a stranger comes to your workplace everyday to ask you out On a date and his reasons are bells ringing when he saw you. Interesting.
Blooming (jjk)
When Jungkook has a MASSSIVEEE crush on you, but he is equally massive in embarrassing himself on the first date.
Jacket (jjk)
when the rich boy of the campus suddenly came up with a favour; borrowing your jacket
Dress you up (jjk)
your (very) awkward arranged husband helps you dress up after you injure yourself.
Happy honeymoon, babe (jjk)
It’s a very awkward honeymoon season time with your very awkward lawful husband. Who was, In fact, a dildo to half the females in your university.
Overthinking (jjk)
Talking about miscarriage
Take me home (jjk)
you and your husband decide for a divorce, but, after his family reunion dinner.
Blackout (jjk)
your husband makes up to you after getting in an arguement
Do you know how to dance? (Jjk)
dancing under the rain with your husband as a stress relief
Soju (jjk)
you surprise your husband with his favourite meal on a Tuesday.
Cool beans (jjk)
a (very) handsome basketball player asks you out after you win against him.
Age gap (jjk)
your parents get you forcefully married to a guy who’s eight years older than you. And the problem is he doesn’t know it.
navigator (jjk)
When your gothic vampire boyfriend gets a revenge on a boy who harassed you. But, he needs a navigator.
sick (jjk)
Your husband is sick. And gladly, he’s extra cute when he’s sick.
napping together (jjk)
You just have a terrible day, I swear.
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inspired by musical pieces.
lavender haze (midnights) (jjk)
Meet me at midnight
maroon (midnights) (jjk)
so scarlet, it was maroon.
midnight rain (midnights) (jjk)
He wanted a bride I was making my own name, chasing that fame.
Labyrinth (midnights) (jjk)
Oh no, I’m falling in love again.
mastermind (midnights) (jjk)
What If I told you none of it was accidental?
would’ve, could’ve, should’ve (midnights 3 a.m edition) (jjk)
Give me back my girlhood it was mine first.
my tears ricochet (folklore) (jjk)
I swear I loved you, ‘till my dying day.
closure (evermore) (jjk)
guilty, guilty, reaching out across the sea
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series.
the son of Aphrodite (jjk)
* ˚ ✦ Worst things manage to occur to you everytime you get tipsy in your life. Like the first time, you lost your ninety dollar engagement ring of your high school boyfriend who left you after that, and no, you didn’t return the money of the ring nor you found the ring. And the time when you got drunk and had a lesbian sex with a gay woman. Next morning they threw you out when you told that you’re not even gay at the first place, and that you thought they were your ex because of their dark blue hair. They were pretty serious about the sex. And the last time, when you woke up to get filled up with shit like you’ve sold yourself to a Greek god blah blah blah. * ˚ ✦
the secret history (jjk)
* ˚ ✦ I sip my chamomile tea, scenting thick cinnamon in the air of the cafe I sat in. The sky was done crying, though, its petrichor lingered in the air. Wet, sloppy grounds of London as I stare at it. The mansion, that held secret history no one knew. I smile. * ˚ ✦
‘tis the valentine (ot7)
* ˚ ✦ It’s nottt a series but a chain of different romance / love tropes I wrote in different shots of each member. None of the fiction is related to each other so they’re basically stand alones 🫶 * ˚ ✦
rkivepetals on tumblr.
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perotovar · 2 months
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baby, i'm-a want you — (prologue) "session zero"
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gif by me
pairing: javier peña/shane morrissey (just this time. main pairing is still javi/joel) rating: E (18+) mdni word count: 1.6k content: unprotected p in a, one (1) use of the word "daddy" (this is gay porn what do you expect), shane being the biggest goth twink, javier being a good dom, swearing, smoking dividers: @saradika-graphics beta: @qveerthe0ry (ily ♥)
summary: javier peña has been doing this a long time. he's really good at his job. joel miller? not so much. he started doing this to get some extra cash to support his daughters. what happens when they're supposed to do a scene together? aka, the au where most of the ppcu boys are gay porn stars~
series masterlist
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Javier Peña was good at his job.
“Fuck, harder–”
Really good.
He got millions of views on his page every month, and made enough to be comfortable as well as spend a little extra if he wanted to. He also got to have sex as frequently as he wanted because of that. He wasn’t bound to a schedule, but he filmed often just because he liked to. 
“J-Javi, I’m gonna come, please.” The cute young thing below him moaned weakly and turned back to Javier, looking up at him with the biggest and wettest eyes. That would probably be the thumbnail of the video.
“Yeah?” He grunted, a smirk plastered on his lips. He lifted a hand and landed a hard slap against the young man’s right cheek, the left one gripped tightly in Javier’s free hand. The young man – Shane – whimpered and trembled below him, arching his back to fuck himself on Javier’s cock. “Mmm, si lo eres,” Javier hummed, rubbing Shane’s tattooed side comfortingly. He landed another loud slap against Shane’s tender flesh and watched the skin ripple with heat in his eyes. (Yes, you are.)
Javier made it a point to take care of whoever he was doing a scene with. Especially if they were pretty green. This was only Shane’s second ever official one, after a scene where he gave Din a blowjob. He leaned over Shane’s clammy skin, pressing chest to back and tangled his fingers into Shane’s sweaty, dyed black locks. “You doin’ okay?” When he asked, the hairs above his lip tickled Shane’s ear a little. His voice was soft enough that the mics or cameras wouldn’t pick up on it. He kept up the pace of his hips, the sound of skin slapping against skin echoing in the mostly-empty “bedroom”. 
Shane bit his lip, eyebrows downturned in pleasure and nodded as subtly as he could. He let out a weak grunt, a single tear falling from one of his eyes. “J-Javi–! There!”
Javier grinned and kissed along Shane's shoulder blades before he gripped the younger man’s hips tightly and started slamming into him, angling directly where Shane needed him most. Shane’s head hung heavily between his arms as he put most of his weight on his elbows. The chains and earrings he wore clanged against each other with every rhythmic beat of Javier’s hips, making him moan and whine louder. 
“C’mon, pretty boy,” Javier grunted, pressing a large hand to Shane’s lower back to keep him steady. “C’mon.”
Pre-cum dripped onto the sheets from Shane’s throbbing cock as it swung between his legs, lightly slapping against his lower tummy. Shane let out one last pathetic whimper before he stilled and came hard, thick ropes hitting the sheets and head thrown back, mouth open in an obscene O. Perhaps a little overdone, but Javier didn’t think the young man was faking anything. He’ll get there.
Shane’s entire body trembled as he looked back at Javier. “I-inside,” he panted. “Please.”
“Yeah? You want me to fill you up, pretty boy?” Javier grinned, hips still moving rhythmically.
Shane’s cock twitched in overstimulation, but he nodded anyway, whining weakly.
Javier knew his own body better than anything in the world, so he knew that it would only take a few more strokes and he’d be finished. “C’mere,” he grunted, gripping onto Shane’s torso to heave him up onto his knees so he could press Shane’s back to his front. Shane wailed as Javier sped up the beat of his hips, now only focused on getting what Max, the director, called “the money shot”. Even if he’d done this a hundred times, it always felt good, and a depraved little part of him loved seeing himself stake a claim over his scene partner.
Javier let out a punched out breath, grunting as his hips stilled, then moved in a slight staccato, pumping Shane’s ass full of his cum. “Fuck,” he groaned, rolling his hips in slow waves until the last drop left his cock. Shane let out a weak sob as a final, pitiful spurt of his own cum landed on the sheets in front of them. Javier hummed and gently laid Shane down on his side away from the mess, and slowly turned him onto his stomach a little.
One of the camera men got closer to zoom in on Javier’s cum trickling out of Shane’s cute little hole, Javier’s big hands spreading his cheeks. “Good boy,” Javier hummed happily, teasingly prodding at the top of Shane’s puffy, used rim. Shane giggled shyly as he looked back at Javier, a blush high on his cheeks. His eyeliner and mascara was completely ruined, faint tracks running down his cheeks.
“Thank you, daddy,” Shane recited shyly, biting his lip.
“And, cut! Very good, boys.” Max’s booming voice cut through the tension like a knife.
Javier’s shoulders deflated a little, a tired smile crossing his features. “You alright, kid?” He asked, voice rough. 
Shane smiled and nodded up at him, that deep blush still present. “Y-yeah. You’re amazing, Javier.”
Javier snorted and held a hand out for him as he stood from the bed. Slowly, Shane crawled off the bed, the cum trickling down the back of his thighs. Javier took him by the hand over to the small rack of robes and handed him one. “Thank you. You weren’t so bad yourself. They’re gonna love that face of yours,” he winked, nudging Shane’s chin with the knuckle on his index finger.
Shane smiled shyly and nodded, eyes downcast. “You’ve got a scene with Joel tomorrow, right?”
Joel. He was an interesting one. Javier had done a scene with him before and it went… really well. It’s one of Javier’s most viewed videos on his page. Javier doesn’t get a chance to bottom very often, and if he does, it’s usually with Pero or Dave. But after Joel… Well, he had to take a couple days off after that one. He didn’t get to talk to Joel much after their scene, but he seemed to… change once Max called cut. He wasn’t quite so… intense. While filming, Joel seemed to shift into a completely different person; he was all grunts and furrowed brows and some of the filthiest dirty talk Javier had ever heard. It was one of the first times Javier actually felt… submissive. Small, but not in a bad way. Like Joel would take care of him. Javier may play the part of the aloof, dominant top, but he likes being held sometimes too. The idea of getting to do that again was attractive to him, but more than that, he wanted to see if he could get a chance to properly talk to Joel. He seemed almost as new as Shane, but showcased it in a completely different way.
Javier cleared his throat and nodded, tying his own robe around his waist. “I do,” he hummed, turning toward one of the assistants, a young red headed girl whose name he couldn’t place at the moment, and motioned for a cigarette. She nodded and took off toward where he left his things.
Shane sighed dreamily, “I wanna do a scene with him.”
Javier smirked and laughed lowly. “Maybe get some more under your belt and you will. Think he’d like you,” he winked.
“Your cigarettes, Javi,” the assistant – Amy, that was her name – said, tapping the yellow pack against his shoulder.
“Thank you,” he nodded once toward her, hitting the bottom of the pack against his hand a few times before turning it around and doing the same thing there. He pulled one out and lit it after he stuck the butt in his mouth. Lighting up, he sucked in the smoke and exhaled, his mind clearing already.
“I feel like I should be flattered,” Shane giggled, sipping on some water as he sat, one leg draped over the other. “Needing a cigarette after our scene. How very 70s of you.”
Javier rolled his eyes, but smirked, roughing up the kid’s hair playfully. “Yeah, yeah. You were good.”
“Javi, can I talk to you for a sec?”
Javier turned to Max Phillips, the director and owner of the website, and nodded. “Course,” he mumbled, the cigarette hanging from between his lips. “What’s up?”
Max pulled Javier to a secluded room, which made Javier raise a brow. Max waved him off and smiled. “Just wanted to tell you that the last scene you did? With Marcus? Just hit 2 mill last night.”
“Shit, really? People must really like the FBI/DEA storyline,” he hummed, part amused, part sarcastic.
“Yeah, so we’re thinking of doing a second part. Like a followup, where–”
“When?”
“How’s tomorrow?”
Javier frowned. This is the part of his job where he got to pull rank a little. He didn’t normally, but he really wanted to do that scene with Joel. He wasn’t going to miss his chance to pick Joel’s brain a little. 
“What about Monday? I’ve got a scene with Joel tomorrow.”
Max exhaled, like he knew it was coming, and rested his hands on his hips, popping a knee dramatically. “You sure?”
Javier nodded. “‘M sure. I know my job, Max. And I haven’t done a scene with Joel in a while,” He paused. “You can’t argue with the numbers my last one with him pulled.” He knew exactly which buttons to push with Max. His relationship with his boss was fine, but Max could be a real douchebag at times. Javier wasn’t afraid of him or anything, but he also didn’t want to get reprimanded at best, or lose his job at worst.
Max chewed on his bottom lip for a minute. “Fuck,” he sighed. “Alright, fine. Still wanna do the one with Marcus?”
Javier nodded, a triumphant little smile on his face. “Course. He’s got a pretty cock.”
“Very true. Alright, go get yourself cleaned up, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Javier nodded, sucking another drag off his cigarette. His stomach grumbled and he groaned. Maybe he’ll get Chinese tonight.
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sukiipjs · 12 days
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✮ BLONDIE : PT 2
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader
↳ words - 1961
↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.
↳ contains - swearing, use of y/n, angst, crying, verbal fighting, idrk 😭 [READ PT 1 - PT 3]
↳ song - blondie by current joys
°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•
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°:. *₊ ° . ☆
days after and nick hasn’t texted me since. no more random tiktok’s, no more check ins, just complete nothingness now. i don’t blame him of course, i’d do the same if he was being as shitty as me right now. but honestly i miss those texts so so much, even if i rarely responded to him, or more so i miss the texts we had before all this stupid shit started.
but again, i truly don’t even know when it all started, it was so easy to just brush this off these feelings and whatever as a friend thing before and not think of it too much. why can’t it just be a friend thing now?
actually i think ive just accepted it all at this point though. i love him and no it’s not just a friend thing, it’s way more and it always has been way more. sure i might wish it wasn’t, but it is and i know it is and i cant just ignore it.
i’m not even trying to get rid of it anymore, i don’t have the strength for hiding it. honestly i think if i kept trying to get rid of it, it wouldn’t even work. obviously i still won’t tell him, or anyone, unless he pries it out of me. i know he doesn’t feel the same and i doubt he even looks at me as a friend anymore.
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
i continue repeating my own sad cycle of doing nothing but staying in bed, hiding myself from the world… without nick. i still check up on his socials, being the weird stalker that i am and looking at all the story’s and snapchats he posted of himself, he looks just fine without me, of course.
i lay in bed, staring at my phone to avoid looking at the mess around my room. i scroll and scroll, starting to see a weird amount of videos of people taking care of themselves or videos of people ‘spring cleaning’.
i scroll away, i really don’t need to see people functioning completely fine right now, it’s like their taunting me, laughing at me. but the videos just keep coming back, haunting me, laughing at me. all i see through my scrolling cycle is random ass dog videos, cleaning and organizing videos, or nick edits… and that’s exactly what i need.
i let out a loud sigh, slightly rolling my eyes then rolling over to my other side, having my blanket wrap around me. i choose to just swipe off the app and throw my phone to the side of me before closing my eyes and just trying to get some sleep. that way those videos, my stupid feelings, and not even nick can haunt my mind anymore.
°:. *₊ ° . ☆
my eyes flicker open, the sun shining directly in my face and i finally decide to actually do something good for myself and go out for a walk when the sun and clear weather is still out, it’s been raining almost the whole time i’ve seen dying in my room alone.
i slowly move myself up to sit, leaning my back on the wooden headboard behind me and sitting on some pillows below that cushion me. i stretch out my arms in front of me, yawning and running my fingers through my hair to fix the shaggy mess.
i move myself off my bed, stand up then fixing my off center shirt and trying to flatten out a few wrinkles. i throw the blanket that covered me to the side and decide to just throw the shirt and pants that i wear off me -actually putting them somewhere other than on the floor too- i pick out a clean outfit, already feeling way less gross, it’s the small things that count right.
i walk out my room, not forgetting to grab my phone to come with me before going into my bathroom, splashing my face with water to get me more awake. i run my hands in my hair again, fixing it up with my mirror in front of me so i can actually see what i’m doing before grabbing some actual water giving myself something to drink other than dr pepper.
finally i walk out to go by my door, grabbing a light jacket and pulling it over my arms then putting on my shoes and heading out the door. i start off to go a longer way, turning the corner of the sidewalk. i feel all the small breezes on my skin as i get actual sun and nature.
i continue walking random ways, i just want to be out of the mess that i’ve been living in for so long right now. it actually feels nice to be outside, not sitting in a gross hole of dirty clothes and dishes.
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
i walk, making my way around the neighborhood, my eye catching all the small colorful flowers blooming up and all the small brown squirrels scurrying to run up trees as i pass them. i remember all the times me and nick went out, running around the streets when we were younger. not thinking of anything, just being kids living a simple life. i wish it was still that simple.
as i walk, still obviously thinking of nick, i notice the sky above graying and clouds starting to cover up the sun, shit. i start to walk a little faster, hopefully being able to get home before it pours but as soon as i speed up, small water drops start to fall on me.
i grab the end of my jacket to pull it over my head, holding it over me to shield out the rain. the sides of my jacket block my view as i focus on the path i walk to my place.
i look down at my feet walking, trying not to get too wet as the rain pours more and more, bouncing off the sidewalk. suddenly i feel two hands place on me, pushing me back, “the fuck.” i mutter as i look up, gaining my balance on my feet again. “oh” my face softens as i see nick standing in front of me, his blonde hair damp and drops of water falling from his cheek. he stares at me, i can tell he’s mad and obviously i can tell it’s my doing.
“nick-“ he cuts me off quickly, slightly pushing against my shoulders again as i put my jacket down, wearing it normally, my head now getting pelted with rain. “no, i talk. what the fuck y/n. honestly what has been going gone, you’ve completely ignored me for weeks, you keep blowing me off and i don’t fucking know what i did and the only way i can talk to you about this is randomly bumping into you since you won’t even answer my texts?”
“nick-“ i sigh as i try speaking again but he pushes me back once more. his glassy eyes narrow and i see water pooling in them, i can’t tell if it’s rain or tears. “no! you’re my- you’re supposed to be my best friend and this shit isn’t cutting it y/n! just what is it! what is it. what did i do please just talk to me. if you hate me or something just tell me!” he shouts, his fists starting to clench as i wipe the wet hair in my face away.
“nick stop. you- you didn’t do anything i promise, i’m sorry okay” my voice croaks, i can feel the water pooling in my own eyes now. “then what is it! you can’t just block me out, out of no where.” i shake my head, trying to figure out how to say an actual explanation without saying too much. “nick i’m sorry!”
“stop apologizing! i’m not asking for that, i’m asking for an answer, please. i feel like shit and you haven’t even been there, i kept trying to talk and hang out with you but apparently you hate me now and never want to see me again, i get it!” he scoffs, staring me down as his eyes shut, tears dropping as he takes a breath before opening his eyes back up, wiping off the mixture of tears and rain.
“like i said, if you hate me or suddenly don’t want to be my friend, tell me. i truly, truly, don’t understand this shit your pulling and if you won’t talk now then when will we? you’ll just ignore me again so just spit it out now!” nick keeps rambling on and i just stare at him, seeing how hurt i’ve actually made him. i don’t know what to say, i really don’t.
i just want to shut him up, have him realize that it’s my fault and i don’t hate him. i cut him off as he continues to yell at me, “nick!” my voice feels weak as he shouts back, “what!” i stare at him for a moment, seeing those blue eyes i miss, those star earrings, his grown out roots and before i know it my hands go up to his face, pulling him in as our lips press together.
my hands hold him as strands of his hair poke my fingers, our noses slightly brushing against each others. i quickly step back, eyes wide as i realize what i just did, taking my hands back. “i-im sorry“ my breath is short before i turn around, running away from him to get back to the shit hole of comfort i’m living in to avoid what i just confessed.
i swear i hear him try to call my name but i ignore it, i can’t see him. what did i just do. i can’t even process any of this.
°:. *₊ ° . ☆
i finally reach my place again and i swiftly open my door and walk inside, standing as raindrops slide off of me, creating a small puddle on the floor below. i shake off my hair a little, flicking the water droplets off of me. i take off my jacket, putting it on a hook to let it dry as i take off my shoes too, leaving them by the door.
i wipe my face off with the palms of my hands, wiping off many of my tears that still fall. i walk over to my fridge, getting out another dr pepper then walking over to my couch, slumping down into it as i set my can down and wrap a blanket around myself to warm me up again.
i slowly slide to the side, laying myself down on the cushions. why the actual fuck would i kiss him? what that really the best thing i could do? he already hated me, i did not have to make it worse. i ponder in my head, genuinely trying to find a valid reason of why i just kissed my best friend that hates me. oh. my. god. i’ve ruined my life -not like it was already ruined- i’m never coming back from this.
i stare at the unopened dr pepper sitting on my coffee table, i try making myself reach for it but my arms don’t want to leave the warmth of the blanket i’m huddled in. i hear my phone buzz next to the dr pepper on, i also cannot seem to have my arm reach out to see who’s calling, i hope it’s not who i think but why would he even call me?
rain pelts out on my window, water sliding down the cold glass of it as i lay holding my blanket close to me, pulling the blanket over my eyes as they close, resting as i try forget about my phone continuously buzzing and the drink still on my table.
☆ °:. *₊ ° . °
taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy @matty-bear @venusbabysblog @m0r94n
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dellalyra · 9 months
Note
satoru with little megumi and tsumiki is so cute!! i also can't stop thinking about how funny the reader and Satoru would be juggling trying to have "that conversation" (sex) with the two of them, i swear in my head this scenario was very funny
A/N: OMG this was so fun to write, I had such a giggle writing it THANK U SM also thank u all sm for ur requests, expect them posted throughout the week!!! Ily all
CW: SEX, sex talk, sexual content, mom and dad are cringe and try to talk to the kids about the birds and the bees, talks of sexuality and bodies etc, mdni, I’m bi so I asked my amab gay pal for help writing some parts so I hope I did okay!!!
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Family Formations - Birds and Bees.
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“SATORU” A yell sounds as you come crashing through your bedroom drawer.
“Y/N!” The white-haired man currently lounging on the bed replies.
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Then you start rambling so damn fast that even he can’t keep up with the speed of your words.
“Princess. You’re gonna need to start that again. Maybe throw in some breathing this time round.” He smirks.
“Satoru. Tsumiki - she’s gotten her period. I’ve explained it to her but ‘Toru - we’ve never given them THE TALK. The birds and the bees.” You scramble to sit on the bed with him.
“Baby, they know what birds and bees are,” Satoru says, completely confused as to why you think they need a nature lecture.
“No, ‘Toru. THE TALK. The horizontal tango, matrimonial polka, a bit of how’s yer father, squat thrusts in the cucumber patch, creaming the twinkly.” You stare so seriously at him, his hands clasped in yours.
He just blinks at you.
“Y/N, are you okay? Are you like… malfunctioning?” He asks, genuinely concerned.
“Jesus ‘Toru! Sex!” You say, shaking his shoulder.
His eyes light up.
“Hell yeah, just lock the door.” He says as he begins to unbutton his jeans.
“No! Well, yes! But later! Satoru – we’ve never spoken to the kids about sex, that kind of talk! They’re 12 and 13! They’re gonna start hearing things in school, and they’ll have questions about their bodies – I don’t want them to have an unhealthy relationship with sex! Or their bodies! We’ve spoken to them about the basics, they both know about periods, what boobs are, how to keep yourself clean, what touch is good and what is inappropriate, and that they can say no to someone wanting affection. We’ve done all the basics, but what about like – the sexual parts, like they know what sex is, we’ve talked to them about the physical side of things, like what goes where –” You were just babbling again, you and Satoru were only 24 – how the fuck do you parent teenagers?
“Oh my god, I’ve never explained wet dreams! He’s gonna think he’s dying!” Satoru has realised that this is an issue.
Maybe in 10 years, you’ll realise how badly you’re both overreacting.
But probably not.
“Tsumiki knows there are 2 separate holes – I taught her that when her first period came. Megumi knows what a period is, we’ve never hidden any bodily functions from them – they know the logistics of everything. Wait, what else do we tell them?” You were so close to ripping out your hair.
“Condoms!” Satoru exclaims, and points at you.
“Condoms!” You agree.
“Do we have any? We need a banana – or maybe a cucumber?” He begins searching the bedside tables.
“Satoru we’ve never once used a condom, I’ve an IUD! Oh god, we’re such bad role models.”
This frenzy goes on for another hour before you both have a basket of stuff, and you call the kids into the living room. You already know that you might have to pin Megumi down, so he listens. You both decided that there were no questions off limits, 12 and 13 were tricky ages, and you both decided you wanted them to go into the world armed with healthy, positive information instead of keeping things secret and them finding out stuff from friends or porn.
“Is everything okay?” Tsumiki smiles, as she takes a spot on the cosy sofa.
“I was reading – what do you both need?” Grumbles Megumi – those teenage hormones reminding you why you’re here.
“So! We wanna talk to you guys about, drumroll, please… BOINKING!” Satoru says, with jazz hands for panache.
“What the hell is boinking?” Megumi asks, already disgusted.
“Exactly why we’re here! Your mom and I want you both to know all about the human body and the delightful pleasures it can bring. Your bodies are growing and changing, and soon enough you’re going to start feeling some funny things!” Satoru has sat on the opposite loveseat, with you beside him.
“Oh. My. God.” Tsumiki’s mouth drops open.
“What?” Megumi asks, suspiciously.
“Oh no. Why? Why me? Why today?” She laments.
“Can someone tell me what’s happening?” The young boy grumbles.
“They’re giving us the talk.”
“Oh, please God no.”
“Yes!” Satoru smiles, slapping his knee.
“Guys – I know how much you two are gonna hate this. I hated it when my mom did it too, but this is us keeping you two safe okay? Plus, wouldn’t you rather have all the facts, Megumi?” You knew that appealing to Tsumiki’s emotions and Megumi’s practicality would at least make them sit for a while.
“We’re not getting out of this, are we?”
“Make it quick.”
“Okay! So you guys know what sex is – two people expressing emotions, physically. If between a man and a woman, it can create a baby. But there are loads of types of sex, and it doesn’t have to be between a guy and a girl.” You start.
“Yeah! Like your mom and I are both bisexual, so that means we’ve both – too personal, point taken” Satoru was cut off by both of them glaring.
“So if a man and a woman are having sex…” You begin the explanations of what goes where, the changes that will happen once they start to get older, the science behind things, the fun stuff – masturbation is okay – and healthy! Then that sex can be lots of different things, never feel rushed to do anything with anyone, a quick (and very painful for the kids, possibly scarring) demonstration from you of how to put on a condom (thankfully, you had bananas), different forms of contraception and safety.
All in all, you and Satoru thought it went great
By the end of everything you could think of, Megumi had a pillow on his face and Tsumiki’s eyes seemed glazed over. That means it sank in.
“Okay! So if you guys have questions, never get scared to ask us! Believe us, we’ve probably done way worse!” Satoru says.
“That’s very true! And if you guys don’t wanna ask out loud you can write us a note, maybe?”
“Oh! Important! Megumi – you don’t just gotta ask me, you can ask mom too because believe me she knows her way around a male –” You slap your hand over his mouth. His big, idiotic mouth.
“That’s true though, just because I’m a girl doesn’t mean I can’t answer your questions, and the same goes for you Tsumiki with dad, okay?” You softly smile at them, you’re aware that pretty much everything you and your fiancé do is utterly chaotic - it’s in both your natures, but you hope that maybe – them both knowing that you guys are also absolute messes will make them feel better about coming to you. Because no matter what, you’re their mom and dad.
“Do you guys have any questions?” You ask.
“No holes barred! Ask away!” Satoru chimes in.
“I do. Ehm… can you get pregnant from a toilet seat?” Tsumiki asks.
“No – you can’t. It’s gotta get right up there.” You reply.
Tsumiki giggles at this and proceeds to ask a ton more –very clever, questions, ranging from who grows hair where to do boys have a clitoris.
Tsumiki then excuses herself to the bathroom, and you glance at a squirming Megumi.
“Nothing off limits, ‘Gumi. Promise.” Satoru smiles at him.
“Um… if a guy does… that… with anyone guy – how do they know who, oh my god I hate my life, howdotheyknowwhoputsthepenisinandhowhasitinthem.” He couldn’t have spoken faster. Physically.
You take a second to try and decipher his words.
“Well, that’s an individual thing! It depends on the couple, it alternates sometimes, and sometimes there’s one person who prefers each type of feeling. The best thing to do is just ask and communicate and read the situation.” You speak.
“It’s different for every couple kiddo – and that’s what makes it all fun because what you will have with each person is gonna be unique. Just talk shit out, and see what the vibes are like. Explore different things too.” Satoru says, leaning back on the loveseat, this is a side of Satoru you absolutely cherish – you love all of him, but this vulnerable, soft, honest side is reserved for those he loves the most.
Tsumiki comes into the room. Her face was white as a sheet.
“You okay, ‘Miki?” You ask.
“The sound. The banging sound I heard, when we were on vacation. That wasn’t the pipes hitting the wall, was it?” She asks as if asking if the ghost in her room was real.
You couldn’t help but laugh, because no – it wasn’t. Your rooms in your cottage were all soundproofed, the hotel in Okinawa, not so much.
“So you see Tsumiki – when a mommy and daddy love each other veryyyyyy –” Satoru says with a huge evil grin on his face and you laugh yourself into knots beside him.
“No! Shut up!” They both run like the wind down the hall.
“Parents boink too, Tsumiki! It means we love each other so much we just –”
“STOP PLEASE STOP!” You hear coming from the kid’s rooms. That was them locked away for the night.
Maybe the teenage years will be kinda fun, if you get to keep messing with them. The title of embarrassingly in love parents fits you guys after all.
“So you know earlier… I said ‘later’?” You turn to your fiancé, resting your hand on his thigh.
“Yeah, princess?” He smirks, tilting your chin up with a long index finger.
“It’s later.” You giggle, grabbing his hand and running down the hall with him to your – thankfully – soundproofed room.
239 notes · View notes
Text
I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday
DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”
I literally can’t get over how good he sounds
AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!
Bro these songs SLAP
Damn Mariahs hair is so long
Pete is such a mood
I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad
BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER
Omg hey Kim
When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying
Omg Max likes Grace???????
Wait that’s so cute
Wait why’s he kinda fine
“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀
It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)
Damn these HARMONIES THO
My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her
“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO
I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE
The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.
“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀💀💀
Study date????????
Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️
When Max enters and the crowd cheers
“Rondevuch”
Max literally has a God complex
Why is Kim everyones mom?
“Walen place”?????
“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED
NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN
LITERALLY WHAT
Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️
Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???
Laurens character is bisexual???????
“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character
Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually
Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore
Wait I kind of love Grace now
Mariah slays
“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think
I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…
I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn
“Skele-ens”
I need Max Jagerman actually
Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️
AW FUCK HE DIED
HOLY FUCK HE DIED
GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE
I love how upbeat this song is
WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF
Omg Dan and Donna!
Slay Mayor Lauter
His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”
THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀
FUCK CLIVESDALE
DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM
I like that the football team has only 2 players
I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good
Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP
Im literally so Gay bro
THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!
THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME
When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef
Please let Grace swear
Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away
Grace Chastity said “acab”
Cory needs more songs
MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!
Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍
GERALD OH MY GOD
Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.
Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR
The invisible bird. Literally high school theater
“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”
“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”
Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong
Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true
I know shes about to die rn
The red lighting gave it away
THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD
Why did Kim scream like that
Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️
THE COPS THEME
OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!
He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️
Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still
This duet is EVERYTHING
Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL
“Axe wielding maniacs?”
The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…
OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK
I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL
im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine
WIGGLY
THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????
“Let me check my Christmas list”
“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?
I feel bad for not knowing all their names
Max says bitch a lot
Damn this show is long
Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil
Max is so fucking funny
Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious
Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life
He decides to fuck Grace Chastity
OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART
Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit
Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww
Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????
Oh nvm that’s Jason
I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good
It’s very clean and crisp
In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner
OH FUCK
WHATS GOING ON
WHAT
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squishmallow36 · 2 years
Text
Drawing: the Gathering
Part 1 of Sokeefitz: the Gathering
Written for day 2 of Sokeefitz Week: Family, hosted by the wondaerful @rainbow-frog-earrings and @gay-otlc
Also a big thank you to @uni-seahorse-572 for listening to my rambling about this fic
Word count: 1.4k
Tw: swearing, food, brief sex mention (played /j and not within the scope of this fic)
Taglist (lmk if you want to be added/removed!): @stellar-lune @gaslight-gaetkeep-gayboss @kamikothe1and0lny @nyxpixels @florida-fruity-frog @poppinspop @crystallinewalker @solreefs @never-mourn-the-good @rusted-phone-calls @when-wax-wings-melt @cotyledon-tomentosa @good-old-fashioned-lover-boy7 @dexter-dizzknees @abubble125 @blossomsxgalorex @callum-hunt-is-bisexual @callas-pancake-tree
On Ao3 or below the cut!
   Coming back from the kitchen with a mug of coffee at three in the afternoon, Sophie sits down next to Keefe to watch it draw. 
    A few moments later, he asks, “Hey, you can draw, right? Can you teach me?”
    Fitz’s gaze flickers up from his book to watch Keefe’s response, signing in the reflection of the window. 
    “Does this have to be a now kind of thing?” it asks. 
    “Well, you’re drawing right now, so take a guess.”
    Keefe sighs dramatically. “Fine.” It leans backwards, ruffling Fitz’s hair that’s pink in theory but it’s been a few weeks since it’s been dyed, so the colour has faded significantly. 
    “Yes, love?” he asks, already expecting its answer. 
    “Care to join us?” it signs above his head.
    Putting his book down, Fitz answers, “Well, considering you two are probably gonna make a giant mess with all the new paint I bought you yesterday, I guess so. Even if it is solely for chaperoning purposes.”
    “Aw, is the future Councillor mad?”
    “I have both of you. I’m not allowed to be a Councillor.” Fitz stands, bracing himself on the table for the inevitable discomfort that always plagues his knee when he puts his weight on it. 
    “Not if you don’t get married, Fitzy.”
    “Hm. I’m surprised you don’t want to be legally connected to me as soon as possible so I can’t run away.” 
    “Running away is my personality trait. You can’t have it.”
    He walks over to their table. “You also say your hair is a personality trait and yet somehow I always find it everywhere.”
    “How do you know it’s not Foster’s hair?” it asks, causing Sophie to exclaim, “hey!”
    “Some of the hairballs were blue. Now, with your little photographic memory, can you remember a time when his hair was blue? And do you remember a time when your hair was blue?”
    Keefe refuses to answer, which Fitz takes as a win, sitting down in his assigned seat. “What kind of portal to Exile will we be making today?”
    It smiles. “Well, Fitzy, I’m glad you asked! Foster, do you have any specific requests before we start?”
    He shakes his head. 
    “Okay, then. Fitzy, you like baking. And I like cake. So let’s learn how to draw a cake that you aren’t allowed to eat just to torture ourselves.”
    Is this when I tell it that you can technically eat paper? No. I should not give it more ideas. 
    “Is that a reference to your ID cake from three years ago that I told you to wait five minutes before eating because I wasn’t done frosting it and then the frosting somehow ended up in your hair, which is still a mystery to modern science?” Fitz asks instead.
    “It’s not a mystery, you flung it at me!”
    I’ll take that as a yes. “You were like two inches away from the cake trying to lick the bottom frosting off. It’s not my fault some from the top was pushed off onto your head!”
    “Guys, guys. Can we maybe save this for later? Like, after my drawing lesson?”
    Keefe and Fitz glare at each other, but don’t say a word. 
    It breaks the tension by instructing, “Okay. So we’re gonna start with an oval in the approximate middle of the page. Go around a few times, we can clean it up later. Just try to make it vaguely symmetrical.”
    Its ellipse is absolutely perfect--not a surprise but still annoying--while Sophie’s and Fitz’s are pretty much equal levels of crooked blobs. 
    Fitz tries to erase the worst of the messiness when Keefe grabs his hand, signing, “Not so fast. We finish sketching then clean it up. You never know which line will be the good one once you’re done so stop it. Pick two points on opposite sides of the circle and draw some gay lines going down as long as you want. The longer the lines, the taller the cake.”
    “Are you expecting me to invoke physics to determine how tall it can be before falling over?” Fitz asks.
    “Yes.”
    “Fuck you. I’m too gay for maths.”
    “Fuck me yourself, coward.”
    Sophie sighs. “Please just let us finish this before tearing each others’ clothes off. I’m begging you.” 
    Keefe half stands, leaning over to kiss Fitz for the briefest second, signing, “No.”
    It sits back down, and Fitz tries to ignore the urge to pull it back to him as it signs, “Okay, where were we?”
    “Drawing a cake.” 
   “Cool. Mext we’re gonna mimic the curve of the lower half of the oval on the bottom of the two gay lines to make it a cylindrical cylinder. Don’t worry if it’s wonky or messy.” 
    Sophie and Fitz do as told, and suddenly it’s become an actual something. 
    “Now that technically can be your final cake and you could decorate it from here but let’s make it a little more interesting and obvious as to what it is so we’re gonna cut out and eat a piece. So we’ll start by marking the centre of the top oval with a dot.”
    Fitz uses his hand to measure where the centre would be as close as he can manage to get. It’s probably off but, hey, if he’s cutting a slice out in the real world, it’s gonna be a little off-centre. 
    “Very good. Now we’re gonna draw a gay line from that point to the bottom of the cake. Then draw a line from the centre point to the edge of the oval. It can be as big of a chunk of cake as you’d like, although it is a bit easier if it’s roughly symmetrical. And make sure you save me some. I’m gonna require it as payment.”
    Three wiggly lines later, Fitz is pretty sure he’s doing this correctly. 
    …at least mostly. 
    “Then from the point where the slanty lines intersect with the oval, you’re gonna draw 2 more gay lines down to the bottom.” Keefe instructs, shading something on one of its own projects.
    Fitz really should’ve made this cake shorter, but he doesn’t have the skills to trim it down now. 
    “Aw, look at it. It’s a little thing.” Sophie says, showing it to Fitz, and it is certainly a little thing. It looks better than his cake, that’s for sure. Although that might just be because it’s farther away.
    His would look better from far, far away. 
    “You’re not done yet, you two.” Keefe signs. “Where those two gay lines meet the bottom, draw a line parallel to the top angled lines to the middle line on both sides. Erase the arc on the bottom between those two lines, the bit of the middle line sticking out, and the portion of the oval that’s inside the lines. And now it’s looking pretty good enough.”
    Now that Fitz is actually allowed to use his eraser, it’s getting its fair share of use trying to even out the lines. 
    “Wait, before you start cleaning up your limes and destroying all your work, if you’d like to add some cake layers, add some lines parallel to the top and bottom of the weird rhombi--oh Mx. Stinkbottom, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever used that word in my life. I just lost a bet to our least favourite technopath--anyway, you probably know what cake layers look like I’ll just let you fuck it up yourself.”
    “Thanks,” Sophie responds sarcastically. 
    “You’re welcome,” Keefe signs, smiling. 
     It’s such an ass. And I love it so much. 
    “Now you’re on your own fixing up the sketch and colouring it in because I don’t have nearly enough patience for that. You should’ve learned that in school.”
    “I had the last half day kindergarten my school offered. I am superior to all of you elves.”
    Fitz laughs, bowing slightly to his overlord Sophie before taking a sixty-four pack of crayons that just kind of exist in their house. No one knows how they got there or how many they have. They just suddenly appear whenever they need them and especially when they don’t.
    Fitz inevitably ends up trying to put too much detail into his design which should’ve been expected as he does that normally, but still ends up with a drawing that looks like a seven year old made it. 
    Blame the crayons. Always blame the crayons. 
A/n: (i felt like this deserved end notes and those are exclusive to ao3 so this is what i'm doing) Shoutout to that time in 5th grade when we were doing this in art class and this kid said i like your cake--not to me but the kid diagonally across from me--but rounded the a to an o...i like your cock has now lived in my head rent free for many years.
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ssreeder · 2 years
Note
heads up this one is a Chonky bOi:
ohmygod you UPDATED, you’re so lovely and so is your writing even though it makes me want to Scream (out of happiness and/or rage, it’s a mixed bag)
you do indeed make the The Most delicious cocktail, how could you ever doubt that??? also I got my own leekie tag :’) someone pls explain to me why that makes me emotional lmfao
noooo why do you always DO this sreedieeee “sokka was worried about jet finding out about who zuko really was” YOU BETTER FUCKING BE AFRAID ITS TOO DAMN LATE
“back to his rightful position as sifu hotpants” see this is the lightheartedness we need to see more of bc YOU KEEP TORTURING THE BOYS WITH NO RESPITE
also I may have forgotten that this plot point existed at all so it was a pleasant surprise
fuck you we’re back with another episode of Angst With Zuko, the most canon compliant aspect in this entire fic
lmao leave it to sokka to feel guilty about almost dying (like I Get it but also it’s the kind of situation where you have to laugh at the ridiculousness or else you’ll cry, and there’s already too much to cry about in this fic bestie)
YAY TINGLY LOVE FEELINGS our boys deserve good things <3
sreedie. I swear to fuckery if zuko is going to run away… I don’t have an adequate threat at the moment but I’m gonna be So Pissed my dude
lmfao not sokka’s ongoing shitty spirit luck-
but also >:(( about the letters LIKE THAT WAS SUCH A SMART PLOT POINT BY YOU AND I LOVE THAT YOURE A GENIUS but seriously Fuck this plot point
okay ik that “the big fire bender” is just a way to describe shen’s stature, but it makes me think of zuko being “the little fite bender” and idk the mental image of the big and little fire benders reminds me of a picture book my mum used to read to me where there was Big Mouse and Little Mouse and Little Mouse wouldn’t stfu and go to sleep bc Big Mouse was snoring too loud but the when Big Mouse put a peg on his nose to stop snoring then Little Mouse STILL couldn’t sleep bc he missed the reminder that Big Mouse was there to protect him from the scary things hiding in the dark and idk it’s cute (I’m pretty sure the book is called night noises??)
FUCK YEAH HAIR CUTTING LORE IM ABSOLUTELY THRIVING RN YOU DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND IM SUCH A SLUT FOR CULTURAL DIFFERENCES BEING EXPLAINED (also the way that zuko simply did not inform sokka of any of these implications I cannot with this boy)
smh hakoda pls accept that your son is gay, shen literally just told you they’re metaphorically fucking in public
nooOooOoOo sad bato hours :(((
also not to go off on a tangent, but I’m going to do exactly that actually. anyways. just the whole “kya would know what to do” shtick got me thinking, it’s interesting for characters to make assumptions about how things would be easier/different if another character is around but that wouldn’t necessarily actually be the case and it’s just them projecting onto their loved one the feeling of safety and dependency onto them so it can act as a source of comfort of sorts?? idk if that’s a coherent thought but it’s out in the world now
hakodaaaaaaaa jet hAS ALREADY FUCKING DONE SOMETHING STUPID I hate this I hate it I hate it I hate it why do I love your story so much I hate this
hakoda… there is No fucking way you’re gonna leave zuko behind… right. RIGHT?????? sreeder I swear on my fucking life if your separate our boys-
YO SURELY BATO WILL TALK HAKODA OUT OF BEING A BLOODY MORON SURELY SREEDER TELL ME IM RIGHT
god I love bato. also shen and zuko banter >>>
oh morrak, obviously they’re going to do something reckless this is jet we’re talking about
aaaaand that’s a WRAP
I am so torn between hating you for this ending and pumped for the next chapter bc shit is once again going to go down, and really, what else are we all here for??
anyways, in response to your proposal, I just wanna say that it feels like we’re divorced, but it was an amicable divorce and so we still celebrate holidays together so our children don’t have to choose which parent to spend time with BUT I use the divorce against you for comedic effect, such as you PULLING THE ANGST SHIT WITH ZUKKA and then I get to shake my head and say “this is why I divorced you”
love you to bits and pieces!!
leekie :)
Ohhhhhhhhh leekie I like my asks like I like my milkshakes ,,, THICK <3
Sifu hot pants takes his position extremely serious I don’t know what you mean by lighthearted?? ;)
If Zuko does run away it will be with elegance and grace and likely in the middle of the night so no one will know :D
Do you think if Zuko found out he was the ‘little fire bender’ he would kick Shen’s ass just to prove a point?
Your tangents are my world, but yeah remembering a person for their best qualities is important but it’s also important for him to at least….. TRY to do what kya would do!
If kya were here she would smack Hakoda upside the head because YOU ARENT EVEN TRYING DUDEEEE. Hakoda is lucky kya isn’t there to witness the mess he is making.
oommmgggg I love being divorced to you it’s the best decision we ever made. Mwa mwa mwa mwahhhhh. You’re the best leekie and you’ll probably hate me more after next chapter but that’s okkkkk!
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Anyone With Eyes Can See
Pairing: Robin Buckley/Nancy Wheeler, a little background Mike/Will
Summary: from @beautyisinkonpaper “fic request: everyone telling robin that nancy likes her and robin is head over heels for nancy already but is too scared to say anything because it's 1986. give it a happy ending though please???”
Warnings: none, just a lot of fluff and our gals being oblivious
Word Count: 1585
Being gay is hard, if you ask Robin Buckley. All it takes is one misstep and she’s done for – a permanent outcast, doomed to live on the edge of town in a dingy shack while all of the neighbors whisper about the lesbian as though she’s some sort of alien and not a person. And because Robin would really rather not shatter her entire world, she’s definitely and totally fine to repress and destroy any semblance of non-platonic feelings that threaten to well up in her chest and quite literally ruin her life.
Which is how she finds herself behind the counter of Family Video with Steve, trying to explain that no, she isn’t avoiding Nancy Wheeler because she dislikes her. In fact, her problem is exactly the opposite of that.
“I can’t just ask her out, Steve,” she groans, for once thankful she’s working on a Tuesday afternoon when no one in Hawkins has any desire to work a movie. “Because if I do that, she’ll know I like ladies. And that is a one-way ticket to inevitable torment that ends with me dying withered and alone as the town pariah, which I know I have said to you before. And Nancy Wheeler? You dated Nancy Wheeler. She likes men, and I am not one. So, I’m going to yearn forever until I succumb to heartbreak or until this stupid crush goes away because I really cannot afford to have a crush on someone who has a Reagan sign in their front yard. And another thing–”
She’s cut off when Steve miserably fails to stifle a massive yawn. She waits impatiently for him to finish before taking a breath to resume her tirade when her coworker and best friend finally speaks.
“Look, Robin,” he says slowly, raking his hands through already messy hair. “I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’ll give it a shot. Anyone with eyes can see that Nancy’s into you.” Robin scoffs, but Steve continues. “She has this…smile thing she does. Where she smiles at you, and then looks away and her smile gets all soft and sweet. And she only does it with people she likes. She hasn’t done it to me since we dated, and when she stopped doing it to Jonathan, it was only a matter of time before they broke up. But now it’s like, you don’t even have to be there! Someone mentions your name and she does her crush smile about you when you aren’t even there! It’s getting unbearable, so would you please ask her out so I can say I told you so and we can move on?”
Robin groans, allowing her head to thud on the counter. “Steve, I can’t. Sure it’s great if you’re right, but if you’re wrong then I’m out–“
Ding.
Robin almost passes out when she hears the bell over the door and scrambles to correct her incriminating words. “–out of luck,” she finishes with her teeth clenched and back to the door.
“Oh, hey Wheeler,” Steve says, and Robin almost gives herself whiplash with how quickly she turns to face the door, praying she’s presentable. She isn’t sure if luck is on her side or not when the Wheeler in question turns out to be Mike, Nancy’s younger brother, accompanied by Will Byers. Robin glares at Steve, but he just smirks before turning back to the boys. “Byers. What are you guys looking for today?”
Robin is almost content to leave Steve chatting with the boys when she hears him ask, “Hey Mike. Does Nancy ever talk about Robin?”
She swears her eyes go so wide that they almost fall out of her head. Because yes, she trusts Steve implicitly, has put her life in his hands many times and would do it again. She knows he would never out her. He knows she knows this. She hopes he knows how close he is to being strangled by his co-worker. She’s just beginning to picture the possible headlines for the imaginary slaughter at the video store when Mike answers, “Oh, all the time.”
Robin freezes, too scared to move lest this brief moment be broken. “What?” she croaks, hoping it sounds like she has a cold or something and not a massive crush on Mike’s older sister.
“Yeah, it’s kind of annoying. She talks about how you would hate some of her clothes, or how you’d like a book she’s reading, or how a song reminds her of you, or how she’s so jealous of your freckles, or how smart you are, or a bunch of other stuff. It’s kind of annoying, honestly. Like, I didn’t even talk about Will that much, and I knew him for years.”
Robin watches Will’s face go from shock to embarrassment to something soft and gentle as he looks at Mike, and Mike reaches over to subtly link their fingers together, and oh. Maybe she isn’t the only one in Hawkins.
“Hey,” she says, voice still shaking, but less so. “Me too.”
Will smiles, but Mike’s face lights up like a firefly in summer. “Perfect,” he says. “Will you please ask my sister out before she drives me crazy talking about how cool she thinks you are and how everything about you is basically perfect? It’s getting unbearable.”
Robin can feel Steve’s I-told-you-so look piercing the side of her skull the same way she can feel her face flush a deep scarlet. “I…but…Nancy doesn’t like me.”
Mike and Steve both look like they want to strangle her the second she says it. “Bullshit,” Mike replies, as Steve just stares. Will, who hasn’t said much since the conversation turned to Robin’s (nonexistent) love life, seems to take pity on her.
“You don’t have to tell her anything,” he says thoughtfully. “But if I were you, I probably would. I think Steve and Mike are right – she likes you a lot. Plus, just because she hasn’t dated any girls that we know of, that doesn’t mean she’s straight. And even if she is, she’s still our friend. She wouldn’t say anything to hurt you or out you or anything like that. She was the first person Mike and I talked to when we started dating.” He blushes as he says the last sentence, and Mike bumps their shoulders together while smiling at his boyfriend, and Robin has to smile too. Maybe there’s hope to be had after all.
Mike’s eyes take on a mischievous glint. “Do you work tomorrow?”
“Uhhh…yeah, I’m here from noon until closing. Why?”
“Perfect. Nancy will come return the video we’re renting. You can tell her you have a crush then.”
Robin sputters. “Who said I have a crush on her?”
All three boys fix stern gazes on her, but it’s Will who speaks first. “Robin, you’re just as obvious as she is.”
**
On Wednesday, it’s five minutes until closing when Nancy Wheeler walks into Family Video and Robin’s breath catches in her throat. Nancy has her hair swept up into a ponytail, but a few rogue curls frame her face, and she smiles at Robin like she hung the moon. “Hi,” she says, and Robin remembers her job.
“Hi,” she answers breathily. “Mike said you were returning a video today.”
“Yeah, his video,” Nancy huffs. “I don’t know what was so important that he couldn’t return this but he told me it was really urgent that I bring this back, so here I am.”
“Here you are,” Robin repeats, making eye contact with Nancy and trying to ignore the heat rising in her cheeks and the way her palms are sweating.
Neither of them says anything as Robin punches in the return and checks to ensure the tape is rewound, but the silence becomes heavy when she hands Nancy her receipt.
“So, um, I was wondering…” Robin says, taking a deep breath and bracing herself for her next words. Do you want to go out with me? “Do you want to watch a movie? I’m finished working and my house is like two minutes away and I was just thinking maybe we could hang out?” she finishes lamely, thankful that Steve has already left for the day. He would never let her live that down.
Nancy looks at Robin, and Robin swears those blue eyes are boring holes into her soul. “Like…a date?”
Robin forgets how to breathe. “If you want it to be,” she manages to say, voice just above a whisper.
Nancy’s gaze drops again to Robin’s lips. “I do,” she admits. “If you do too, that is.”
Robin can’t find words, so instead she pushes herself up onto the counter and swings her legs around, bringing herself nose-to-nose with Nancy. She tucks a stray curl behind the other girl’s ear, savoring the tiny hitch in Nancy’s breath at the contact when her fingertips touch skin, and she gently cradles Nancy’s cheek in her palm.
“Nance,” she says, and the word hangs between them, heavy and ripe and delicious, like a forbidden fruit, and Robin is tired of denying herself. And when a glance outside the store confirms there are no lurking strangers to shame them, Robin leans forward and presses a kiss to Nancy’s lips – soft and sweet and gentle, a promise of more to come.
And as the two of them wander the shelves, pointing at various titles and stealing kisses in hidden corners, Robin reminds herself to thank Steve later: for once, the dingus was right.
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linskywords · 1 year
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Taylor Swift Meets Hockey RPF: Advent Calendar Day 24
The 2nd ficciest Taylor Swift song of all time is…
youtube
Song: I’d Lie Album: Unreleased Year: 2006 Lyrics: https://taylorswift.fandom.com/wiki/I%27d_Lie#Lyrics Ficciness Rank: #2
Okay, so this one is probably actually a deep cut. If you’re following along with the playlist, you might notice this isn’t in it, because it was never actually released and (as I realized to my great surprise when I started working on this ranking) Spotify doesn’t have it. I’m not actually sure why a studio recording exists? But it does, and it’s SO FICCY. It’s the passenger seat from “Fearless” times a thousand:
I don't think that passenger seat Has ever looked this good to me He tells me about his night And I count the colors in his eyes He'll never fall in love He swears, as he runs his fingers through his hair I'm laughing 'cause I hope he's wrong And I don't think it ever crossed his mind He tells a joke, I fake a smile But I know all his favorite songs
Is this not a tortured closeted gay boy pining for his seemingly straight teammate? You don’t need to answer because it obviously is.
Here I go, about to quote almost every lyric from this song:
He looks around the room Innocently overlooks the truth Shouldn't a light go on? Doesn't he know that I've had him memorized for so long? He sees everything in black and white Never let nobody see him cry I don't let nobody see me wishing he was mine …And if you ask me if I love him I'd lie
It’s a secret love that feels glaringly obvious and needs to stay totally hidden at the same time. It’s a guy walking through his locker room and feeling like everyone must be able to tell that he’s different and somehow also feeling that they’ll never be able to see who he really is. Praying to be noticed and wanting desperately to hide. It’s the agony of being closeted on an NHL team.
But this friendship with his teammate–it’s wonderful and unbearable, real and solid and yet with this huge secret at the middle of it. Our main character takes in every detail about him as precious and wants that to mean something about what their relationship is, as if he can memorize his way into this guy loving him back.
Fortunately, because it’s fic, he doesn’t need to.
Pairing I’d assign to this song: I’m gonna say Connor McDavid and Leon Draisaitl. Connor is our piner here. He’s so incredibly visible, the highest-profile player of the current decade, everyone sees him–but he can only see Leon. He’s terrified that someone will see him looking, and at the same time, how is it possible no one’s noticed? How is it possible Leon hasn’t noticed? Connor feels like he’s breaking the rules in plain sight every day, and he can’t decide if it’s glaringly obvious and Leon’s just not saying anything to be polite or if he’s really managing to keep this a secret from everyone he knows. Which is almost worse–he doesn’t want anyone to see, obviously, but how is it possible that he’s dying inside and no one can tell?
He manages to hold it together until February, when the Oilers do a retro Valentine’s Day celebration for Instagram where the players give each other those cards from elementary school (note: this sounds awesome, and a hockey team should do this). Connor finds a note in his on folded-up notebook paper: “Do you like Leon? Y/N” with little boxes next to the Y and N. Connor manages to hide it from the camera while he has a full-on freakout about someone knowing his secret. He thought he wanted to be seen but it turns out he DOES NOT. He’s self-conscious every time he’s around anyone from the team. He starts avoiding Leon, not looking at him except when absolutely necessary, and he can tell Leon’s noticed and is hurt by it but Connor just cannot deal. Finally Leon manages to corner him and invites him over, and Connor feels bad enough about all the avoiding he’s been doing that he says yes. At least if they’re at Leon’s place no one else will be watching Connor’s reactions. He gets there, and Leon seems unusually nervous. “So,” he says once he and Connor are sitting on the couch, looking at the TV screen, “I guess you didn’t like my note?”
Lyrics to title this story: Holding Every Breath For You
Masterpost Playlist
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afr0-thunder · 5 months
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[Poor Chronicles Pt. 22]
*STARBUCKS EDITION*
The last batch of wings came out fantastic. Juicy, spicy and so hot they were falling off the bone, almost. Better (lighter) seasoning. Still had to apply sauce during and after for not only making full use of the sauce, but to completely taste the Buffalo BBQ. Never making traditional wings again, realized I don’t even like traditional wings.
I picked up a shift for my former favorite coworker last night. My female coworker and the assistant coach who says, “Nigga” were girly popping it up the whole shift. I’m surprised they didn’t say “Nigga” the whole shift. I swear he did though while singing a song…AGAIN!
I had a dream during my nap earlier. These two girls invited me to this party at their mom’s house. I had my car again, told them I got a flat when I got there and would need some help getting home after. Their friends were all lying on the floor in the living room. There wasn’t very many people there. There was like 13 to 27, not sure. The strange thing about dreams is you can’t imagine new faces, you had to have seen them at least once before, so I’ve seen these girls (only remember one from the dream) and this one tall black guy on the floor. They are all strangers or they’re all friends and I’m the only one who doesn’t know any of them. This also made me realize, house parties are a dying trend. I would like to throw a party, but they take so much effort to prepare. Long story short, if I ever see these two girls again, I think they want me to have a threesome with them. I’ve never had a threesome, but I don’t really want one either (anymore). Something about gay bitches and potential awkwardness don’t sit right with me.
I left for about an hour early to get some extra walking time. I explored west in the River North area. I was walking so fast I almost missed this girl who looked almost exactly like the girl I described from the Tik Tok. At the last second I saw her waist before I looked up. Not as tiny, but still a small waist, also a bit thicker. Didn’t quite see her face, but her hips made me look over my shoulder like 30 ft later. Ass was STUPID! I’ll most likely never see this woman again and will only recognize her for her small waist and ridiculously fat, ass. Amongst the Top 5 asses I’ve seen in the last 2 months, possibly Top 3 in the last 2 weeks. Could be #1, haven’t been ranking. I saw these other two women. They saw me and almost stopped their entire conversation. This happens often, fucking women’s thought process up mid-conversation. These downtown bitches are fucking rich. Blonde one with her hair in a ponytail/bun had a big ass fucking YSL (Yves Saint Laurent, for the broke) purse.
The female coworker may need some time to formulate her game. She looks like a distant cousin of my ex though, just skinnier. I may need to seek other options. I considered someone I knew, but you know how hard it is to get some white bitches from the suburbs to come to the hood? Something is telling me, “There’s a college up the street.”. Fucking Illinois Institute of Technology. Bitch do I fucking look like R. Kelly? We’ll see though, may be some bitches with a fat ass (doubtful) or some fine, skinny, cool, nerd bitches. Also, on my way to McDonald’s today this sexy dark skinned girl was parking her car at the building behind mine. We made eye contact and I said, “…I would fuck her”.
There IS another girl I went to college with who lives in town. I forgot. She’s from the suburbs though, does cocaine, very much an alcoholic and 1000% sure she’s racist. Still would suck my dick (unfortunately). Racism’s worst enemy, this dick.
I remembered this girl from high school (among others), but this one really stood out though. She was really pretty with SUPER big titties and a fat ass. Her little brother was annoying, but that won’t stop me from wanting her throat to meet this dick. Super sexy. I also want that one Cavinder twin. The one with the sexy big lips (Hanna).
Oh, this has taken a raunchy turn NOT because I’m horny, but because my income has been shifting and my daily occurrences have been thought provoking. We’re hitting a cooler season and our sales are expected to continue declining, so I will become poorer again and resume poor talks, but for now I’m trying to figure out who is going to alert my housemate of who’s ending racism
In short, I don’t like traditional chicken wings. Those who say “Nigga” while not black, have an unspoken bond. Dreams about strangers are very interesting. Power walks in the downtown area may become my new favorite hobby. Need to find a bitch who’s always bored. Racist hoes still will suck a black dick. I’m going back to being poor and I think I’ve said enough about sexy bitches I encounter for the foreseeable future, no guarantees. Back to our regularly scheduled POOR-gram.
- MH (2023)
[10/18/2023 - 11:45PM]
[10/19/2023 - 12:53PM]
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frnk-iero-simp · 3 years
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He’s not that cute he just has dyed hair. He’s not that cute he just has dyed hair. He’s not that cute he just has dyed hair.
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likeshipsonthesea · 3 years
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mianmian gets to the lan sect lectures, discovers very quickly that every one of her peers has decided to use this time to figure out how quickly they can get into bed with someone of the opposite sex, and decides almost immediately that she has to pick a suitably unattainable guy to have a crush on.
the thing is, mianmian is lanling jin’s head disciple. she is capable, intelligent, and very very gay. the last of these things she isn’t exactly keen on telling people yet for a variety of reasons up to and including jin zixuan will be so awkward and stubbornly supportive about it and she doesn’t know how to deal with that yet
so when her friends giggle over the other young masters and finally turn to mianmian-- who’s trying to memorize at least some of the fifty-thousand rules before their quiz tomorrow--and they ask her, “who do you like, mianmian?” she says the name that she carefully picked out of a handful of options.
“lan-er-gongzi,” she says, without looking up from her textbook, and she assumes that will be the end of it. 
lan wangji is both incredibly attractive and unrelentingly resistant to all attempts to flirt with him. she, like half the other female cultivators, can moon over him (or pretend to moon over him) all they want and nothing will come of it. it’s perfect. she’s a genius. the worst she’ll have to do now is pretend to be infatuated with him when her friends start gossiping. it’s fool proof.
spoiler: it’s not
it’s not, no, because her friends are horrible and immediately start gossiping about it to everyone, and usually mianmian wouldn’t care but then jin zixuan finds out. jin zixuan, whose marriage complex is being brought to center stage with the forced proximity to his bride-to-be. jin zixuan, who for some reason decided he has to live his stolen crush-addled youth vicariously through his only real friend that isn’t related to him. jin zixuan, who for some godforsaken reason takes it upon himself to contrive situations for mianmian and lan wangji to be alone together incessantly.
it unfortunately takes mianmian longer than she would like to figure out what’s happening. she’d give herself a break for it-- she was being responsible and studying, thank you very much-- but she doesn’t have much sympathy for her own stupidity seeing as she’s currently locked in a section of the lan library with the second jade of lan
and suddenly, suddenly she’s just so fucking tired. of studying, yeah, the tests here are brutal and there’s no one to bribe to make sure she doesn’t lose points on stupid things, but also tired of lying to the people she loves and tired of training this hard and being an amazing cultivator only for people to care more about her eventual marriage-- to a man of all things!-- and also, let’s be real here, she’s been in lectures with beautiful capable intelligent women for like months and she’s losing her gay ass mind
and so maybe, possibly, as she’s locked in a library with a clearly confused and annoyed second jade of lan she kind of, momentarily, loses it and rants all of this at his steadily widening eyes
at the end of it, she realizes with no small amount of panic that she’s just confessed not only her attraction to women but the fact that she’s been letting wen qing’s ears of all things distract her from her studies. if anything, she’s sure lan wangji will fault her for inattention
but the second jade of lan, after a drawn-out moment filled only with mianmian’s labored breathing and rising panic, simply says, “i understand.”
mianmian stops. she squints. she tilts her head. she squints some more. lan wangji’s ears go pink and just like that she realizes -- “you’re a cut-sleeve.”
lan wangji’s ears go even pinker. he doesn’t nod, or agree, or outwardly react in any way, but mianmian is a capable, intelligent cultivator, and she’s sure of it.
mianmian sighs with a relief she didn’t know she could feel. “thank the gods.”
lan wangji doesn’t seem to know what to make of this response, or mianmian’s increasingly frequent trips to the library following their conversation, or mianmian’s staunch determination to befriend the guy, but that’s alright. mianmian is old hat at befriending awkward sect heirs by this point.
it’s not like lan wangji expressed any desire for her friendship, but the prospect of not being the only one with absolutely no interest in the straight shenanigans happening at gusu lan summer camp is enough to let mianmian ignore his obvious confusion. lan wangji is a great listener and only sometimes blushes when mianmian waxes poetic about the beautiful women she’s forced to surround herself with every day
“no but you don’t understand,” mianmian insists, alone in the library with lan wangji, “jiang-guniang asked me to help her with a sword form. i put my hands on her waist. i said something idiotic bc she was so pretty and right there and then she laughed. lan wangji. i’m in love.”
“yesterday you were in love with wen-guniang,” lan wangji says as he impassively turns a page in his book. “has this changed?”
“no, i’m in love with both of them. all of them. lan wangji. they’re all so pretty all the time. it’s horrible.”
lan wangji presses his lips into a firmer line, which mianmian’s come to understand means he’s repressing a smile. “i’m sorry to hear it brings luo-guniang such trouble.”
mianmian groans, fairly undignified, but that’s a lost cause with lan wangji at this point anyway. “i swear, if jin zixuan says one more bad thing about her i’m going to punch him and marry her myself.”
lan wangji says, “mn,” which mianmian takes to mean that he supports her in this line of thinking, which she finds both quite sweet and ridiculously funny.
grinning, she teases, “lan-er-gongzi, if i do end up marrying jiang-guniang, will you bear witness to our elopement?”
lan wangji’s lips press again, this time in the way that means he’s repressing a frown. “jiang-guniang’s brothers wouldn’t allow for an elopement,” he says.
mianmian huffs. “as if yunmeng or lanling will deign to host our wedding.”
lan wangji appears to ponder this for a moment before he says, “gusu will host it,” and it’s at that moment that mianmian realizes she’s actually gone and fucking befriended the second jade of lan.
what is her life.
of course, it’s not long after that that she goes to find jin zixuan and explain that she can’t make their weekly sparring match today because she has plans with lan wangji (jiang yanli tenderly brushed some of mianmian’s hair away from her forehead while they were working on sword forms and if mianmian doesn’t tell someone about it she’s literally going to explode) and she’s trying to be as polite as possible only for jin zixuan to scoff and pout (”i don’t pout”) and say, “i never took you for one of those women who throw themselves so wantonly at a man”
it’s only for having been friends with this absolutely horrible communicator for most of her life that she doesn’t immediately punch him in the face. “what did you just say to me,” she demands, but jin zixuan just sets his jaw and looks away, flushing down his neck in the way his mother describes as unbecoming and--
and mianmian suddenly realizes that her ridiculous best friend is jealous of lan wangji. 
(in a friend way, of course, he’s like her brother, the one time his mother implied that he ought not get too close to women in case it jeopardizes his betrothal to jiang yanli, he insisted he didn’t have any female friends repeatedly as his mother delicately danced around outright saying mianmian’s name until finally she broke and jin zixuan was basically like huh?? mianmian doesn’t count?? she made me eat dirt like six times when we were kids)
the sheer ridiculousness of jin zixuan, to set her up with a guy and then get jealous when she spends all her time with him
and fuck her, but she loves her stupid awkward ridiculous sect heir best friend and she doesn’t want him to think she’s gone and left him for someone else (gods know jin zixuan’s loyalty complex rivals his marriage one (on second thought the two might be connected)) and so, after making a few quick decisions, mianmian grabs her stupid best friend by the wrist and pulls him to the library
he protests all the way there, but he’s been letting her drag him wherever she wants since they were five and it isn’t as if he’s going to break the pattern now. she drags him to the library and sits him down across a startled lan wangji and then finally breaks and gushes about jiang-guniang’s fingertips brushing her forehead and doesn’t look at jin zixuan once the whole time
lan wangji, on the other hand, sends jin zixuan frequent glances, as if worried on mianmian’s behalf, which is super sweet and also how the fuck did mianmian get two awkward sect heirs to care about her platonically wtf. she spares a thought for her poor auntie, who would’ve loved to have a sect heir care about her niece in much less platonic ways.
at the end of mianmian’s rant, jin zixuan is blinking quite a lot. “you like women?” he asks. he’s always been a bit slow on the uptake. mianmian nods. “you like jiang-guniang?”
mianmian shrugs. “more or less. she’s just really pretty and i’m dying about it. it’s fine.”
lan wangji says, “mn,” sympathetically and jin zixuan continues to gape.
mianmian winces. “you’re not going to be weird about this, are you?”
jin zixuan shakes his head quickly. “no, no-- of course not, i--you know that i--you’re my best friend, i don’t care--what does it matter to me, who you want to--to touch your hair.”
it’s probably the most awkward sentence he’s said to her in years, but possibly more articulate than she’d been expecting. it makes her tear up regardless and she punches him in the shoulder to hide it, and that’s basically how the three of them start hanging out in the library nearly every day after lecture.
sometimes they go to the sparring ground, bc who’s better sparring practice than the second jade of lan? and sometimes (once or twice) mianmian manages to convince lan wangji to join her and jin zixuan for lunch in caiyi town when they don’t have lecture, but mostly they meet in a secluded part of the library where mianmian can rant about how pretty all the women at lectures are, jin zixuan can turn pink whenever she mentions jiang-guniang, and lan wangji can “mn” and nod sympathetically at all the right parts
and mianmian thinks that’s going to be the end of it, they’re just going to be friends now and everything else will move on as usual, bc by some ridiculous trick of fate lan wangji and jin zixuan seem to like each other. which makes sense in hindsight bc they’re both awkward sect heirs who care about cultivation and people a lot even if they’re not great at showing it 
(and he’d never say it but mianmian thinks jin zixuan’s easy acceptance of her liking women is probably the first time lan wangji’s ever seen someone accept that kind of thing before (maybe, possibly, other than his brother, lan xichen seems really cool, even if he does smile kind of intensely at mianmian whenever he happens upon her hanging out with his little brother.))
so they’re friends, they’re unexpected friends, and sometimes lan wangji even makes jokes in that dry deadpan way of his and sometimes jin zixuan doesn’t completely trip over his own words and manages to act like a normal human being and mianmian gets two idiots to care about and a perfect place to vent her womanly frustrations, and she thinks that’s the end of it and then wei wuxian accosts her after lectures one day
“do you like lan zhan?” he asks accusingly, eyes narrowed to slits. “what am i even asking, of course you like lan zhan, but do you like-like him?”
mianmian thinks sadly to herself that she’s much too into women to be dealing with all these men’s emotional problems. “lan wangji is my friend,” she says, carefully sidestepping wei wuxian, who continues to squint at her suspiciously. really, he’d been amusing when he flirted with her, but this? this is just ridiculous.
“does he know that?” wei wuxian asks. “because if he doesn’t, that’s just leading him on, and it’s really not nice to--”
“lan wangji knows we’re friends,” she says, trying to enunciate to get her point across clearly. “you can ask him, if you don’t believe me.”
wei wuxian squints a moment longer before he turns and flounces off. mianmian thinks this is the end of it until she’s accosted again after dinner with, “he said you were friends!”
for some reason, wei wuxian seems even more troubled by this than earlier. mianmian tries to suppress her eyeroll. “i told you he would?”
“but how,” wei wuxian says, suddenly whining. “i’ve been trying to be his friend for months and he refuses to acknowledge me.”
oh, mianmian realizes with a quickly dawning horror. she and lan wangji are not the only cut-sleeves at cloud recesses this summer. (she has suspicions, of course, but no confirmations on any of the others, but this. wow.)
she also realizes, decides really, that she has enough repressed sect heirs in her life and she cannot deal with wei wuxian’s cut-sleeve crisis or his evidently large attachment to lan wangji right now. she turns decisively and walks the fuck away. not her problem.
the lectures end eventually, of course, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to lanling with a horde of golden robed disciples, freshly deflowered and not all together more learned. it’s what, she thinks grimly, their sect leader would want.
the first few weeks go by and she realizes that she’s missed unloading about her frequent and fast falling-in-loves. jin zixuan just doesn’t sympathize right, bless him, and so mianmian takes to writing letters. she sends two without receiving a reply and just starts to write the third when a letter with the gusu symbol is delivered to her room.
she’s almost expecting to find a single mn written on the page-- she would’ve been delighted with just that, actually, the sheer hilarity of such a thing-- but instead she finds several pages filled with lan wangji’s perfect calligraphy.
it’s more than he’s ever spoken out loud, but it seems that propriety dictated that he return mianmian’s extensive letter with one of his own and he’s done so admirably. he responds to the events mianmian detailed in her letters-- most succinctly summarized as, woman are gorgeous and i’m dying-- and then writes about his own life in cloud recesses. apparently, he went on a little night hunt with wei wuxian and also nie huaisang and jiang cheng were involved? seriously, mianmian misses out on all the fun.
he’s also apparently taken in some rabbits, which mianmian immediately decides she needs to see. lan wangji, sitting prim and proper, with a bunch of rabbits in his lap? amazing. wei wuxian would die on sight, she’s sure of it.
he also ends his letter with a warning about qishan wen that has mianmian frowning. she takes it to jin zixuan who reads the paragraph and frowns. “i’ll talk to my father about it,” he says, which she can tell by his hunched shoulders he doesn’t expect to do much.
“talk to your father’s general too,” she suggests, because that man at least thinks with his head and not his dick.
jin zixuan nods but doesn’t hand back the letter. he skims it instead with a barely concealed surprise at lan wangji’s previously hidden expansive vocabulary. mianmian snorts and grabs the letter back. “you can write to him yourself, you know.”
jin zixuan flushes down his neck. “i know!” he insists and then turns and runs away because he’s a coward. mianmian shakes her head, smiling. what an idiot.
still, another week goes by and a letter arrives from gusu and, when mianmian takes it, assuming it’s for her, she finds it addressed to jin zixuan in lan wangji’s impeccable calligraphy and she grins to herself like an idiot. look at jin zixuan, making friends
(she suddenly understands why lan xichen gave her all those intense smiles during the lan lectures)
they go on in this way, writing letters to lan wangji from lanling. sometimes mianmian steals jin zixuan’s letters before he sends them so she can squeeze in some ranting in the post script without wasting a whole second thing of paper, and lan wangji replies dutifully, more verbose than he ever was in person, and it’s nice okay, like. she and jin zixuan have been best friends since they were kids but neither of them has ever been any good at listening and lan wangji is just so honest and earnest in everything, like they didn’t realize that people outside of lanling were actually not always plotting your downfall??? who woulda thunk
and then of course the wens go and ruin everything. they go to the wen lectures bc jin guangshan doesn’t want to “anger our trading partner” like the guy isn’t obviously going to burn carp tower to the ground the first chance he gets, and mostly mianmian and jin zixuan are just vaguely annoyed and put out about it
then lan wangji shows up with a broken leg and a burned sect and they are ready to murder some dudes
after years of breaking in and out of carp tower she and jin zixuan are old hats at this breaking and entering stuff and they manage to sneak into lan wangji’s guest quarters and tend to his wounds, ignoring all his silent glares and ranting furiously about how they’re going to murder wen chao by making him choke on his own dick (mianmian) and how they’re going to war with the wen sect even if he has to threaten his father with acknowledging all of his bastards as proper siblings in public to do it (jin zixuan)
lan wangji just says “mn” and makes various muted, distressed expressions, but mianmian thinks he’s touched.
“are your brother and uncle alright?” she asks, when she’s set his broken leg and forced pain medication down his throat.
“brother escaped with our sacred texts,” lan wangji says. “uncle is... unwell.”
mianmian knows lan wangji hates touch but the way he says it, with this horrible little frown, emoting more than she’s ever seen him, his barely suppressed anger and grief literally making his hands shake into fists, mianmian can’t help it, she hugs him. “we’ll make them pay,” she swears into his shoulder, ruining the lines of his robes with how she clutches at them. “i promise you.”
jin zixuan awkwardly pats lan wangji’s shoulder, which is a lot for him and mianmian spares a moment to be proud of his growth.
unfortunately, wen chao seems to delight in torturing lan wangji on his injured leg and lan wangji refuses to show weakness, which both impresses mianmian and pisses her the fuck off. she approaches wen qing (and her still gorgeous ears, sigh) and asks her to tend to lan wangji, since she’s like actually a doctor. wen qing does bc she’s beautiful, intelligent, and kind and mianmian spends most of that night sighing deeply as she relates this to a significantly drugged lan wangji
the cave of the xuanwu goes about the same as you’d expect. wei wuxian saving her from getting her face branded off is pretty rad of him, though he could’ve just like knocked the brand away instead of throwing himself in front of it but whatever, you do you boo. when lan wangji gets left behind the two of them don’t even have to wait for jiang cheng to grumble and ask for their help, they’re already on their way to carp tower for an army, thank you very much
when they rescue wei wuxian and lan wangji and lan wangji immediately turns to walk back to cloud recesses on a broken leg mianmian says, “fuck no, that’s not happening, you’re getting medical attention and then someone will fly you back home, okay, wtf wangji, sit down.”
and lan wangji is a stubborn bitch so obvs he’s like no but he’s also severely starved, dehydrated, and injured, so it’s not like he can just shake off mianmian holding him down and this goes on long enough for wei wuxian to wake up and see mianmian touching lan wangji, and something in his poor little brain just like breaks and he demands says, “lan zhan, come back to lotus pier with us.”
his argument, as he explains it, is that lotus pier is closer (it’s not; they’re just as close to carp tower as lotus pier) and that it’s closer to gusu for when lan wangji has to return home (it’s not; same deal) but then jiang cheng starts yelling, possibly in support possibly not mianmian’s not sure, and jin zixuan starts getting awkward, probably about the whole golden army behind him bc he’s a nerd and hates being overdressed at functions (this is basically the same thing), and mianmian looks at lan wangji and she sees--
something. she isn’t sure what exactly, but lan wangji looks at wei wuxian as he argues with his brother and he presses his lips into a thin line in the way that means he wants to smile and mianmian thinks, oh. maybe wei wuxian isn’t completely unrequited in his lan wangji obsession.
growing up in lanling, she knows how to use information to her advantage, so she immediately says, “young masters wei and jiang, what a great idea. lanling’s disciples would be pleased to accompany you and second young master lan to lotus pier to ensure everyone’s safe arrival.”
everyone splutters, indignant, confused, awkward (jiang cheng, wei wuxian, and jin zixuan, respectively) but lan wangji narrows his eyes at mianmian and doesn’t try to convince her to let him walk to gusu again, so she counts it as a win.
sect leader jiang and his wife seem surprised and annoyed, respectively, to be taking in so many guests, but sect leader jiang merely smiles pleasantly and directs them to some guest quarters and mianmian and wei wuxian ask, simultaneously, for doctors to tend to lan wangji and wei wuxian makes a face at her and mianmian sighs to herself that she really is too gay to be in the middle of his thing with lan wangji.
turns out, walking a lot and fighting a cannibalistic turtle on a broken leg doesn’t do wonders for healing. lan wangji is also the worst patient ever, he keeps trying to sneak out and get up even though word came from his brother that he’s safe and alright and that cloud recesses is starting to rebuild after qinghe nie and lanling jin came to its aid and pushed out the wen
but with the combined efforts of mianmian, jin zixuan, and wei wuxian (and even jiang yanli at one point, bc who could say no to her soup??) they manage to get lan wangji to just rest for a fucking second, really which results in the jin disciples and lan wangji staying in lotus pier for longer than anyone could’ve expected
mianmian spends most of her time (when she isn’t forcing lan wangji to just fucking stay in bed) working with the jiang disciples, practicing archery, sword forms, and mooning after all the beautiful women here.
(”lan wangji, i know she’s scary, but have you seen madam yu? she could whip me with zidian and i’d thank her” “luo-guniang, please don’t ask madam yu to whip you” OR “lan wangji, i’m almost positive madam yu’s maids are a thing, do you think they’d let me join them just like once” “luo-guniang, could you please pass me my sword?” “why” “i’d like to put myself out of this misery” OR “she made me soup. lan wangji. lan wangji, i know you’re not sleeping, wake up, you have to listen to me, this soup”)
they end up staying so long that when wang lingjiao shows up threatening a child about a kite while sect leader jiang is away, she has a lot more to deal with than madam yu. since none of this had been a “sanctioned visit” no one actually knew that there was nearly an entire troop of jin disciples staying at lotus pier, so when the wens attack they are sorely unprepared for what they’re going to face.
(and ofc lan wangji breaks out of bed heroically and keeps madam yu from whipping wei wuxian, which means they aren’t down one of their most powerful fighters and mianmian has to suffer through the moon eyes they’re making at one another in the middle of a battle no less, she knew wei wuxian had no shame but she’d been hoping lan wangji would have some)
after the wen attack (and defeat) on lotus pier and the jin’s inarguable part in it, the war starts in earnest. lan wangji, after his long rest, heals fine and goes back to gusu to help rebuild his sect and plan for war, and mianmian and jin zixuan return to carp tower to plan as well, ignoring jin guangshan and focusing instead on his general to ensure lanling supplies necessary aid in the war effort
and war is always shitty, of course, and mianmian hates watching her sect family die on the battlefield, hates waiting for updates after every battle to see who’s still alive, hates the politics and jin guangshan trying to wheedle his way out of fighting when there’s fucking lives on the line
(and she could never know, how much easier it is, with yunmeng jiang at its full strength, with one of the brightest minds of their generation there to plot and help, with two of the best fighters not out searching for someone and instead focused on the front)
they reach nightless city after months of fighting and mianmian is ready to just fucking stab wen ruohan herself when they’re suddenly trapped. blocked in on all sides by puppets, their fallen soldiers rising again to turn on them, and it--it looks like they’re gonna die.
“this sucks,” she says to lan wangji, stifling her fear and choking it down. “i never even got to kiss a girl.”
lan wangji just says “mn.”
jin zixuan, beside them, says, “i was an idiot about jiang-guniang.”
lan wangji just says, “mn.”
then wei wuxian pulls out a fucking flute and a-- floating piece of metal?  the army of puppets and corpses stops advancing, held in place by-- music, apparently? and wen ruohan emerges from his lair, black energy falling off him in waves, wei wuxian the idiot flies forward to meet him, gets wen ruohan’s hand around his throat for his trouble.
lan wangji yells, “wei ying!” and mianmian thinks, really not fair that lan wangji is gonna get a boyfriend before i get a girlfriend
and then wen ruohan gets stabbed by jin zixuan’s half brother of all people. wen ruohan, along with his puppets and wei wuxian, fall to the ground. lan wangji rushes forward to catch wei wuxian, mianmian runs after him, finds herself in company with jin zixuan and jiang cheng. when they get there, wei wuxian is barely conscious but he’s-- he’s fucking grinning up at lan wangji from the cradle of lan wangji’s arms
“lan zhan,” he says, “you caught me.”
lan wangji nods, says, “mn,” which is basically his equivalent of i’ll always catch you, wei ying.
“really,” mianmian says aloud, “it’s so unfair.”
the aftermath of the war is more annoying than the war itself, what with all the politics and in-fighting and jin guangshan trying to be the biggest dick there ever was. jin guangshan tries to name himself chief cultivator in wen ruohan’s stead but nie mingjue suggests jiang fengmian instead and the lan sect backs him. jin guangshan tries to demonize the wens but at wei wuxian’s loud rebuttal and sect leader jiang’s backing (which is then backed by both gusu lan and qinghe nie) he’s once again shouted down. and then jin guangshan tries to propose to jiang-guniang for his son and the poor woman just seems so awkward and her father doesn’t seem to know what to say and--
mianmian elbows jin zixuan whose eyes widen ridiculously but, after another, harder hit, he suddenly stands. all eyes go to him, which mianmian knows he hates, but he bows to his father, then jiang yanli, and says, “jiang-guniang, forgive my father’s impertinence. this is not the time or place to be making such an offer, but he--” jin zixuan winces visibly. “--he knows of my feelings and wishes to make his foolish son happy. please, do not feel the need to respond.”
then he promptly sits down, flushing down to his neck, and mianmian shares a disbelieving glance with lan wangji from across the horrible nightless city palace room.
she’d really only meant for him to suggest jiang yanli answer privately, at a later time, but wow, jin zixuan really went for it. also no way jin guangshan knows his son has fallen in love with jiang yanli, so nice save face there. maybe he has been paying attention in all of their etiquette and political espionage classes.
jiang yanli flushes way prettier than jin zixuan and nods politely, stands and bows and thanks the jin clan for being considerate in this time of turmoil, perhaps they can discuss this matter at a later date (jin zixuan looks like he nearly faints at this, and mianmian feels vindicated in all her forlorn ranting. overreacting her ass)
when everything has been settled, wen qing has been appointed the new sect leader of qishan wen with promises to return land to those who lost it and pay reparations to the hurt civilians, as well as have the yin iron destroyed for good. during the final ceremony where all the sects have tea and pledge to be loyal to one another (until the next great war, of course) mianmian leans close to lan wangji and sighs, “her ears look even lovelier with her hair tied back by her new sect leader hairpiece.”
lan wangji says “mn” because he’s a cut sleeve in love with wei wuxian and has nothing even closely resembling taste.
mianmian, on her own, decides to make them both happy. before the jin clan departs from nightless city, she goes up to wei wuxian and asks for a moment of his time. wei wuxian seems confused but follows and, once they’re alone, he says, “mianmian, are you about to get me into bed, because i must tell you that i am a respectable young cultivator and you’ll need to marry me before--”
mianmian gives him her best unimpressed look (she’s had much practice with it, thank you jin zixuan) and cuts him off with, “i like women.” 
wei wuxian’s eyes go wide. “but you and lan zhan--”
she cuts him off again before he can say something so stupid she has to stop talking to him to refrain from breaking all laws of propriety. “look,” she says, “you’re friends with wen qing. now that she’s sect leader, your brother can’t go after her. i, on the other hand, very much can. if you promise to figure out a way for me and her to get close, i’ll tell you a secret you’ll like very much.”
wei wuxian seems hesitant for all of half a second before he breaks. “tell me.”
“do you promise?”
wei wuxian raises three fingers. “promise.”
“on your sister’s life?”
begrudgingly, wei wuxian nods.
“on her soup?”
“just get on with it!”
mianmian smirks, pushes onto her tiptoes, and whispers the secret into wei wuxian’s ear. with that, she returns to the pavilion where all the sects mingle as they wait to depart, wei wuxian trailing behind her in a daze, his mouth hanging open.
lan wangji, who had been watching since mianmian asked wei wuxian for a moment to talk, frowns nearly imperceptibly. mianmian grins at him and his frown grows.
ah, whatever. she walks over to him, unbothered by the quickly growing alarm in his eyes. once next to him, she turns around to see wei wuxian staring unabashedly. her smile only widens.
“you’re going to thank me for this,” she says.
wei wuxian shakes himself, his eyes focusing, and immediately starts walking towards them.
lan wangji, voice flat but wavering, asks, “luo-guniang, what did you do?”
mianmian laughs, says, “i get to give a speech at your wedding,” and walks away just as wei wuxian reaches them.
(she does, actually, give a speech at their wedding. she may or may not be drunk during it, jin zixuan gets embarrassed for her, and she starts tearing up and has to hide it in the shoulder of her wife’s lovely well-tailored robes. it’s alright, though, wen qing doesn’t mind)
EDIT: now on AO3 with a real fic version from lwj’s pov!
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WELP, I have in fact not yet finished my Episode 10 review, so today y’all get a moodboard instead :P
Look, you can’t just give me Canon Purple Hawk, and then...what??? NOT expect me to moodboard it???
Lowkey been wanting to make a purple-themed moodboard for these dudes for a while now (what better combination of Red Gay and Blue Gay???), but I was waiting to see if I’d get an actual purple-mohawked Hawk to pepper it with. AND SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH, HERE WE ACTUALLY ARE
I swear, Purple Hair Eli was one of the few things S4 gave me, and then of course they immediately took him away again D: I hope he dyes it back when it grows out, because it looked rad af!!! For the five minutes we got it, at least ;____;
Also have I mentioned how hysterical it is that Cobra Kai deadass dyed this man’s hair the most iconically gay color in existence AND has canonically dyed his hair ALL the colors of the bisexual pride flag, and they still tell us with complete seriousness that he is just a normal heterosexual dude who only likes kissing women??? Absolutely insane. Like do they NOT realize the insanely queer implications that purple hair has or
Also speaking as a bisexual who once dyed my entire head of hair cyan...if there’s one thing I’ve learned about the hair-dyeing scene, it’s that NO ONE who dyes their hair bright-ass colors like Hawk does is straight. NO ONE. I have never met one person with colored hair Like That who is not queer in some way, and I would testify this in a court of law. It’s like...so widespread among the LGBT+ community that it’s become essentially an accepted “I’m Not Cishet” signal. Yet ANOTHER reason why dyeing this man’s hair bright purple and then claiming he does not want to kiss any men is a truly outrageous and honestly not at all believable writing choice. Anyways Cobra Kai, let this fucker come out of the closet PLEASE. Anyways, more purple moodboards for these lads coming up soon!
Pic credits available upon request!
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transformhim · 3 years
Text
Wake Up
‘hey man, wake up.’
Jerod tossed and turned in the heat of the sun. The nude beach had always provided for a good opportunity to nap on the beach wrapped in the warmth of the sun. It was hypnotizing.
“Hey, come on man, rise and shine.”
He heard the distant urges above him, but his rest was deep and the air was warm and salty, enough to keep him in the grip of sleep. He felt lighter, as though he were floating on the sand, or as if his body no longer had weight.
“Dude, hey! I said wake up!”
Jerod groggily opened his eyes but they shot open as soon he saw who was standing over him: himself.
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“Good, finally! Damn, you’re a heavy sleeper, I’ve been trying to get a rise out of you for a while. Listen, don’t panic, but I’m just gonna need to use you for the night... maybe the next several days, actually.”
‘Use me?’ Jerod thought in confusion. ‘The fuck does that m—‘ Jerod’s eyes widened and he looked down at himself. His heart sank as he came face to face with a set of tits. He shot up into a sitting position with panting breaths, whimpering and noticing that his voice was completely unrecognizable to the voice of his imposter standing over him. He felt himself all over, panicking at his new, golden, spotless skin, thin limbs, and jet black long straight hair, groping worryingly at his flat crotch. His breathing was dangerously rapid.
“Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill! Look, it’s temporary! I’m totally giving you back, okay? Just chill...”
Jerod stopped and sat staring at himself incredulously. He couldn’t believe he was being told to chill in a situation like this. Looking up at his own nude body who was telling him that he was overreacting?! What the fuck!
“Let me explain: I’m here with some girlfriends and they’re looking to get some dick. I don’t want to go through the whole process of telling them that they’re the ones I’m here to fuck, so...” his imposter did a sweep of their body with one of his beefy arms, “I figured I’d borrow someone who they’ll easily invite back to our rooms. But don’t worry! This is so not my first rodeo in a man’s body. You’ll get it back, I swear. Aannnnnddd... seeing what you’re working with, it’s not that difficult to get an invitation.”
Jerod watched his old body grab his package and flop it around. Jerod’s jaw shot open and he stared at himself with shock and disgust. This person thought they could just steal his body?!
“I know, I know, I should’ve asked, I’m sorry—but even if I did ask would you have let me?”
Jerod realized this was a genuine question being asked of him and he just shook his head slowly. Of course he wouldn’t have! He doesn’t even find women attractive! And now some chick was using his body do get freaky with her girlfriends!
“But, uhh...” Jerod started in a very high, very feminine voice. “I’m g—I’m gay, so...”
“Oh! Well, I am too, obviously... But that doesn’t seem to be an issue in your body. I mean...” she rubbed the back of his head, glancing down at her new, slightly swollen member, “I’m sure you can tell I’m getting a little chubbed up here looking down at myself. I’ve always thought of myself as too petite and seen my tits as too small, but now that I’m getting a good look at myself... mmff, damn...”
Of course, he could tell. It’s a nude beach and he definitely has the biggest cock on the shore, by far. He watched his own rod swell slowly and lifting itself away from his body the entire time he had been standing over himself... Yes, it was hot, of course it was! Who on earth ever gets opportunities like this? His eyes—the eyes on his former body—suddenly lit up with realization.
“No fucking way! You’re staring! You’re turned on by yourself, too, aren’t you?!”
Jerod blushed. In his new, high feminine voice answered, “Well, yeah, I mean... Look, I take good care of my body and I’m not too proud to say that I look damn good.”
“Well, I’m a dyed in the wool lesbo and even I can agree to that... You do take pretty good care of yourself. As I’m sure you can tell, I take care of myself pretty well, too.” Jerod watched as she squeezed his pecs and rubbed his abs with admiration. Jarod could see that his cock was fully erect now. He could feel his body growing warmer and felt a pulsing in his groin, turned on by his own likeness. He’d always wondered what it felt like to be horny as a female and it wasn’t a bad feeling at all. He absentmindedly started rubbing his flat crotch.
His old body looked down at him and smirked, knowing that they were both in the same position, “How about a little you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours? I’ll make it worth your while! We both know where and how we like it, so it couldn’t be a better match. And trust me, this will only be for 1 full day, 2 days tops.”
Jerod thought it over. It could be interesting... I mean, how many times would he get an opportunity like this again, if ever? Plus, everyone’s always going on and on about how the female orgasm is way more intense than the male orgasm... As if she could sense him mulling it over in his mind, she seemed to give him a little convincing. She popped a few flexes of his arms while wiggling his hips around to make his hardened cock slap each thigh. Jerod bit his lip watching his body on display like this and she responded by bouncing his pecs a few times with a cheeky grin.
That’s it. Sold.
“Fine,” he responded as he shot up on his knees, wrapped his arms around his body’s tree trunk thighs, and took his cock into his mouth.
She took a gasping breath and laughed in his body, “Woah, slow down there!” she reached down and pushed him away, dislodging his cock from her former mouth. First time she’s seen her lips wrapped around one of those, that’s for sure.. “We’re a bit too public at the moment. Let’s head to the changing tents and do this right.”
She scooped up Jerod, cradling him in his own meaty arms as she carried him like bride into one of the beach’s changing tents. She set him down on one of the plastic benches inside and knelt down in front of him.
“Ladies first!” she joked as she bent towards her former crotch as Jerod felt his own huge tongue, warm mouth, and lucious lips start pleasuring his new genitalia. For this being the first time his body was working with a pussy, he could feel that it was doing a damn good job working it. In his body, she used his huge tongue to lap up and down her own vagina, plunging her tongue in and out several times, swirling tongue around her clit and gently sucking it, pleasing her own equipment in the ways she knew her body liked it. She kept reaching up to squeeze on her own body’s tits, giving even more waves of pleasure to Jerod. After several minutes of this, while moaning loudly and writhing with pleasure, Jerod could feel climax coming as he squeezed her petite thighs around his own head and felt like his lower abdomen started to burst and pulse with pleasure. He grabbed onto his body’s head and felt the barriers within his new body burst and he came, and came, and came, for what felt like a full minute. She didn’t stop going to work on her own genitals until Jerod was left spent and panting.
After collecting himself and catching his breath, Jerod propped himself up and grinned widely down at his former body, who was licking his lips and wiping his mouth and jaw off, soaked with his new body’s juices. He looked down at his body’s hips while she was still in a crouched position and saw his own cock bobbing hard and thick in the air.
“You’re turn,” he said, still slightly out of breath. He saw his former body grin as he guided her by the shoulders to sit in the bench where he once sat. He knelt in front of his body and swallowed his cock, slobbering all over it, getting it nice and slick, as he used a hand to stroke it while bobbing her head up and down it. She gripped onto the bench in his body and threw her head back and groaned in ecstatic pleasure. He did what he knew he liked and focused on the underside of his huge mushroom tip, playing with it with her tongue, teasing the cock slit slightly and swirling her tongue around his tip while sucking. She shuddered and backed her hips away, not yet ready to cum.
He felt his massive hands go under her arms as she lifted him up off his old body and stood, bringing him up with her. Oh shit, she was gonna put it in! She swung a powerful arm around her back and under her butt and held him against his torso as she focused on clumsily aligning her new cock towards where it needed to go. Jerod took in a slightly pained but incredibly surprised and pleased gasp as he felt his former cock slide into his new pussy. It felt absolutely fucking insane. He wrapped his hands around his body’s neck to support himself as she started humping away, still holding him up against her by her new powerful arms. He focused on his groin muscles as much as he could to tighten around his former cock to please it as much as he could, as she continued bucking and moaning loudly in his voice.
The two of them were sweating intensely in the warmth of the tropical sun and the heat of their fucking. They could both smell his body’s powerful musk permeating their senses, driving each of them wild. She took on deep, feral grunts in his body, really getting into the moment as he squealed and moaned in pleasure. He used a hand to grope his own huge pecs, shoulders, and arms, and she brought him closer to motorboat and suck her own titties. He could feel his old body beginning to approach orgasm and he tried to dislodge his cock from his new body but she tightened her grip and quickened her pace. ‘Welp, guess I’m becoming a breeder,’ he thought with a hint of humor and resignation. He could feel his cock beginning to vibrate and pulse larger inside of him as she threw her head back and shouted in ecstasy up into the sky as she began unloading a torrent of hot jism into her own pussy, flooding her body with spunk that was not her own. She continued bucking and moaning as more and more of Jerod’s seed squirted out of her and flooded her insides. With panting breaths, she leaned down to her old body and planted a rough and sweaty kiss against it, which Jerod eagerly accepted, welcoming his own large tongue into his new mouth.
While still locked in a kiss, she began to chuckle. Jarod broke from the kiss, “What’s so funny?”
“I can’t believe we haven’t brought it up until now, but we should probably clear up what each other’s names are for the weekend.”
Jerod couldn’t help but laugh, too. She was still inside him and this was the time they decided they needed each other’s names. “Jerod, Jerod Williams,” he responded with a grin as he dismounted from his body, extending a hand in comical formality.
She used one hand to shake off her dick and extended the other meaty arm with a grin, “Akemi Yamamoto, friends call me Kemi.”
“Pleasure. Hey, kinda late to bring it up, but what if you got yourself pregnant in my body?”
Akemi thought about that for a moment, “Huh, well wouldn’t that be something...” She stared off into space, absentmindedly considering the possibility. “Thank god for morning after pills, I guess! I suppose I should probably start using rubbers. Kinda late now, since I’ve already fucked two of my friends while you were napping.”
Jerod’s heart sank. The possibility of three kids?? Thank god for the morning after pill, indeed.
She could sense the worry in him, “Sorry, sorry! I’ll foot the bill for anything, I swear!” Jerod laughed and waved a hand in dismissal.
Jerod started cleaning his new body off a bit as Akemi opened the flaps of the changing tent to step out. Several onlookers quickly turned away, not wanting to make eye contact with the people they heard fucking up a storm in the tiny changing tent. She looked back to Jerod, “Round 2 later? I’ll keep it wrapped this time.” She punctuated her offer with a wink.
Jerod thought for a moment... Suddenly, he remembered the multiple sex toys he brought with him that were in his bag in his room. Had Akemi ever let someone hit her prostate when she was walking around as a dude? Tonight he would find out.
“Don’t worry about wrapping it, stud. Tonight I’m gonna claim that ass.” he slapped his own muscular ass playfully but sharply and his old body jumped excitedly. ‘Fuck, I’m gonna have to use gay guys more often on this trips...’ Akemi thought to herself.
“Damn, okay! Don’t threaten me with a good time.” she rubbed his ass with a wincing grin. She then stretched intensely, twisting her new body to the left and right and brought her mighty arms down in a powerful flex, ending her stretch and obviously knowing what she was doing to Jerod.
She looked back at him with a seductive grin, “Guess I’ll be seeing you around, Kemi.” She alternatingly flexed her new massive hamstrings, making her new muscular ass jiggle invitingly.
Jerod felt a flush of arousal sweep over his new body. Fuck, could he cum again just by watching himself? “Guess so, Jerod.”
She gave one last wink and started walking away back towards the shore. Jerod could hear her greeting other women in his own rich, deep voice.
He watched his own huge ass jiggle with every step she took. He wondered if he could find a strap-on somewhere before the nighttime.
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robinofgothamcity · 3 years
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♡ starting prompt: “were you ever going to tell me?”
♡ pairing: dick grayson (S1 YJ Robin) x fem reader
♡ lyric inspiration: “take a ride up to Malibu, I just wanna sit and look at you, look at you. what would it matter if your friends knew? who cares what other people say anyway.”
♡ note: not checked for grammar or spelling mistakes 
both you and Dick walked out of Gotham Academy, laughing at some stupid joke he made as the two of you walked to the nearest coffee shop. the two of you religiously bought coffee and hung out every Thursday after school until it was time to head home.
you and Dick, unknown to each other9, had commitments to the YJ team and usually had to meet the team later in the night and today happened to be one of those days. 
you really weren’t in the mood to go out for a patrol tonight but on Saturday, you had accepted to be Dick’s date to the winter formal Gotham Academy was holding and you had to excuse yourself from patrolling duties for the night. 
you knew Diana would have no issue in you missing for one night but the team on the other hand would probably throw a fit for it. 
whenever there was time to lounge around, you usually hid behind a domino mask and a beanie to cover your hair. your uniform on the other hand was very much like Wally’s. it pulled over your head and covered some of your face and most of your hair so it went unnoticed by everyone. 
you were very similar to Robin in that aspect. the two of you hid your identities extremely well and no one outside of your mentors knew who you truly were. Wonder Woman had especially emphasized that a kid still in school should not reveal their real identity and if you wanted to once you turned 18, you could, but until then, she made you swear to never reveal who you were.
“what has you in such deep thought?” Dick asked, giving you a smile. you shook your head, “nothing. just stuff with school,” you replied. Dick had saw the bruises and cuts on your legs that you tried to hide, “you have more bruises?” he asked. 
“I told you my MMA training went hard last night,” you exclaimed, “I had a partner that was double my size and she nearly wanted to kill me,” you tried to joke. 
you could tell that Dick wasn’t believing what you were saying, “but you shouldn’t be the one to talk! you have a gash running down your arm! don’t think I didn’t notice,” you retaliated. he immediately tried to explain himself, “acrobatics is an intense hobby!” he replied. 
you gave him a look before shoving him playfully onto the grass. Dick pushed you back as the two of you finally arrived to the coffee shop. you put your bag down in the booth before meeting Dick at the line. 
“just be careful! those cuts and bruises look intense,” he said a bit more seriously. you squeezed his arm in agreement, “of course but same goes for you. the gash on your arm looks pretty deep,” you stated, running your finger on the now healing gash. 
he paid for both of your drinks and the two of you made your way to the booth and took out your books. 
you had befriended Dick when he first arrived to Gotham Academy. since he was the adopted son to Bruce Wayne, everyone wanted to befriend the son of the man who ran Gotham with an iron fist. you on the other hand had to befriend him because you were the captain of the Mathlete’s team.
that was the club Dick first wanted to join and although he didn’t know exactly how to join, he saw that you were in his AP Calc BC class and saw the jacket you carried around with the medals you on won on it. he quietly followed you to the auditorium that day and scooped out the team before embarrassingly introducing him and explaining why he wanted to join.
you instantly clicked with him and tried him out for the team for a few days when you realized that he was probably the second smartest on the team. he won a plaque on his first round of tournaments and gained honoree status not long after. 
“god, I feel like Brunner is killing us with the amount of work he’s giving us,” you growled into your textbook, “does he not realize that people have lives and jobs?” you continued to complain. 
Dick shook his head, “not like he cares. he’s just a bitter old man who wants to make us suffer,” he admitted. you laughed, accidentally choking on your coffee by the comment, “it’s true! he knows everyone is excited about the formal so he probably piled on work to make us suffer,” Dick continued. 
you threw him your paper as he quickly dodged it. the two of you worked through the worksheets until you felt your communicator go off. you discreetly looked down and saw that Kaldur was calling everyone to Mount Justice for a new mission. 
“hey Dick, I have to go,” you admitted a bit sadly, “my mom wants me home to babysit my niece and she needs me home in a few minutes.” Dick nodded understandingly, “yeah, Bruce seems like he needs me home too. see you tomorrow?” he asked, “of course!” 
the two of you practically darted in different directions as you ran to the nearest zeta tube location. it was inside of an old building as you quickly discarded your uniform, putting it inside of your bag as you pulled on your other uniform. 
as soon as you arrived to Mount Justice, you saw everyone crowding around the table that Red Tornado was explaining the mission at. you stood next to Kaldur and Connor, flashing them an ‘i’m sorry for being really late’ smile. Kaldur patted your shoulder as the table shut off after the instructions were finished. 
“so, the pairs are, Wally, Artemis and I, Connor and M’Gann, and ( your name ) with Robin,” Kaldur explained, “since both of you know Gotham Academy well, the two of you will be patrolling inside the school while Connor and M’gann gather the information we need from the teacher.” 
you and Robin high-fived, quickly getting on the motorcycles and racing towards the school. you weren’t particularly close with Robin but when the two of you were a team, it was nearly impossible to stop the two of you. the chemistry when you both fought together didn’t go unnoticed by anyone and Kaldur tended to pair you up together when he knew Wally and Robin would goof off the whole time. 
“so, you go to Gotham Academy?” Robin asked. you nodded, “I do! I had no idea you went there,” you replied, “I wonder if we’ve ever met each other,” Robin joked. 
you gave him a look, “please, I doubt it. I get the sense that you’d probably be really popular and I am the farthest from that,” you admitted. Robin gave you a look, “trust me, I am not popular. are you in any clubs?” Robin asked. 
a part of you screamed to tell him but another part of you told you no, “I am but for the sake of keeping my identity a secret, I would rather not say,” you said empathetically. Robin waved your off, “no, I completely understand. the Bat would kill me if he found out someone knew who I was,” you couldn’t help but laugh, “yeah, Wonder Woman would lasso me into another dimension if I did the same.” 
once the two of you parked your motorcycles into the parking lot and sneaked your way inside. you both landed by the auditorium and started to walk around. 
the patrolling went by with mild conversation. since you had to inform Kaldur about both of you coordinates every few minutes, that was probably the only time you spoke up. it wasn’t until you passed the glass shelves that held all of the Mathlete trophies that you made a sudden stop. 
“do you know someone on the team?” Robin asked, gulping his nervousness down a bit. “yeah, I have two friends on the team. one of which I think I like,” you admitted sheepishly. 
Robin gave you a smirk, “oh, tell me! tell me! I want to know!” he exclaimed excitedly. you shoved him against the wall, “no! because if you know him? then you’re going to tell him!” you whisper-yelled. Robin waved you off, basically begging you to tell him, “fine, if I tell you then you’re going to have to swear that you’ll never tell him,” you stated. 
he nodded as you discreetly opened the glass door and took the photo out, “it’s Dick Grayson. he’s so....” you trailed off not knowing to what to say as you stared at the photo mesmerized. Robin remained silent, standing as stiff as a board, “really?” he whispered. 
“yeah, is that an issue?” you asked, a bit surprised by his reaction, “no, not at all. plus, I can’t even lie, the person I’ve been dying to ask out is also on the team,” your eyebrows fluttered to confusion as stared at him, “I told you who my crush is so it’s only fair you tell me!” you said. 
Robin shook his head no, “AH! nope! you’re telling me! I told you my crush on Dick and now you have to tell me! plus, I didn’t know you were gay,” you said off-handedly. Robin stared at you now in more confusion, “I’m not? not that there would be an issue with that if I was but regardless, where did you get that idea?” he asked. 
you held back your laugh, “I mean, the team is mostly guys unless you have a crush on her,” you pointed to yourself jokingly. Robin didn’t say anything as the silence basically answered your question, “wait, do you have a crush on her?” you asked a bit more seriously now. 
“yeah, it’s her. she’s in a few of my classes and my god, she’s gorgeous,” he said “everything I look in for a girl.” your heart stopped dead in it’s tracks as Robin’s communicator went off indicating that Connor and M’Gann got what they needed. 
you hadn’t said much after Robin had confessed his crush to you. you had no idea that it was going to be you who he was and although now you were dying to know his true identity, you knew you shouldn’t even bother with it. plus, Robin probably felt the same way you did when you confessed your crush on Dick. 
after all of you told Red Tornado the information, you quickly departed from the team, telling them you had to be up at 6:00 to get ready for school. Robin could tell that after he admitted his crush to you, you felt a certain way about it but if anything, he should be the one weirded out. you had a crush on him! but considering your identity was sealed shut, he would never know who it really was that liked him unless he figured out your true identity. 
the next morning, you woke up and put on your uniform as you ran your fingers over the burgundy colored gown you were wearing tomorrow. you were beyond excited to be Dick’s date to the formal and you had to be at his place at five to catch dinner before the dance. 
once you made it to school, you greeted Dick with a smile, “mornin’ Grayson!” you said happily. he responded by putting his arm around you with the same amount of excitement you had, “what has you so excited today?” he asked. 
“nothing! just something you shouldn’t worry about! how was your night?” you asked. you felt Dick’s body go stiff as he tried to conjure up some lie, “fine! Bruce had me doing some work for Wayne Enterprises and it practically put me into the grave,” he joked. 
the two of you walked to your math class, slumping immediately into your seats as the morning announcements went off. you were doodling in your notebook as Dick kept muttering to himself about something you couldn’t quiet understand. 
throughout the entire day, you could sense that Dick’s attention was not exactly spot on. his mind seemed to be on cloud nine and once the end of the day came, he had a bunch of theories written inside of his notebook about ( your hero name ) and who could she possibly be. 
“Dick, you’ve been off all day!” you said now a bit annoyed, “is something wrong?” you asked again. he shook his head no, “no, I’m more than okay! just excited about tomorrow is all,” he replied. you nodded, “me too! I’ll be at your house around five so we can eat dinner and head to the dance,” you mentioned as you saw your mom pull up. 
“see ya tomorrow!” Dick exclaimed. 
+
first thing Saturday morning, your mom shook you awake. she said that your stylist would be here any minute to get your hair/makeup done and you needed to shower before then. 
you quickly hopped into the shower while you pulled on some pajamas for the time being. as soon as you got out, you brushed your hair and teeth before walking to the living room to see the stylist preparing her things on the kitchen table. 
“ready love?” she asked sweetly. you nodded, “ready as ever!” you replied as you sat down. 
the time she did your hair, you were making small talk until you heard a knock on the door. your mom mentioned she’d get it and went to the door. when she got back, she was holding a bag of food. 
“I think Dick sent you food,” she joked as she read the note, “oh yeah, it was 100% him,” she said as she showed you the note. 
“can’t wait for tonight! your favorite from Scouts is inside of the boxes.” 
“aw, how sweet of him!” your stylist said, “yeah, he’s one of a kind,” you said not realizing what you were saying. your mom could see the love for him in your eyes and swooned silently. 
after your hair was done, you had basically devoured the food before your stylist got to work on your makeup. this time, it didn’t take as much time. by the time she finished, you had about an hour to put on your dress and do the finishing touches to your look before you had to leave. 
the dress was short from the front as it got longer from the back. it kind of dragged but that was what made you fall in love with it in the first place. you pulled the dress from your closet and had your mom help you zip it up as she put on the necklace she wore the day of her winter formal on you. 
“you look amazing sweety! let me take a few photos before we head out!” 
you rolled your eyes playfully as you posed a few times. after you and her got into the car, you made your way to the manor. you had been there countless times and knew the gate code by memory by this point. you had messaged Dick that you were outside and saw him in the suit he was wearing. 
“wow, you look gorgeous,” Dick whispered, taking you in. you tried to shake off the compliment but you couldn’t as both Alfred and your mom told you to hold still as they took photos. it wasn’t long after that Bruce came out, introducing himself to your mom and instantly making her swoon, “I’ll see you tonight,” she told you as she gave Dick a look, “take care of my daughter,” she stated, now more seriously. 
Dick nodded nervously as Alfred led you into the dining room where the dinner was plated and ready to eat. it didn’t feel like a date as eating with Dick was not uncommon. this time, you both were just dressed extremely fancy. 
Alfred had made you steak and the two of you basically downed it like starving caveman. you and Dick made sure that you didn’t stain yourselves as Alfred informed that the car was warmed up and ready to take you to the dance. Dick had excused himself to the bathroom as Bruce stood in front of you. 
you gulped nervously as he basically towered over you, “please continue making my son happy,” was all he said before leaving back upstairs. you didn’t even get a chance to respond as Dick walked in and basically pulled you towards the car. 
the formal was already going when the two of you arrived. you could hear the music blaring from outside and in order to get in, you had to pass the ‘paparazzi’ Gotham Academy set up. you two annoyingly took the photos that were being taken by people from the yearbook team and entered the auditorium. 
you smiled at Dick as you both found a few of your mutual friends and sat down with them. the night was one you knew you weren’t going to forget as Dick had his arm around you the entire time. you could feel him squeezing your shoulder every time he noticed someone checking you out. 
“I love this song!” you exclaimed, hearing ‘New Light’ by John Mayer playing, “wanna dance?” he asked. you instantly nodded and walked onto the dance floor. 
“Oh I want a take two. I wanna break through. I wanna know the real thing about you so I can see you in a new light.”
the two of you danced, a bit closer than you intended but not that you were complaining. 
song after song came and it wasn’t until you heard a beep going off when you realized what was happening. it was the teams communicator indicating that Kaldur wanted everyone at Mount Justice again. you sighed knowing if you didn’t answer, you’d probably get berated for skipping out. 
secondly, you had told Kaldur unless it was an emergency, not to contact you so it must’ve been urgent if he was. you stared at Dick who was standing by the table, staring at something when you realized you had to break the news to him. 
“hey Dick, there was an emergency at home and I need to leave like right now.” you felt tears pricking your eyes as you just wanted to tell the team to fuck off for ruining your night with Dick, “it’s okay! Bruce called me just now and said something happened to Alfred and I should head home,” he said. 
you sighed in relief as you told him you hoped everything with Alfred was okay and you’d see him on Monday. it now had dawned on you that your spare uniform was inside of Mount Justice and you would have no time to get the one from your house. 
the only thing you had on you was your domino mask which you knew would make due until you changed into your uniform. you found the nearest zeta tube and teleported to Mount Justice. 
your hero name rang off through the telecom, catching everyone’s attention. you had slipped on your domino mask but your worst fear thus far came true. everyone was surrounding the zeta tube which you came from and saw your hair. 
“wow, you look great,” Connor and Wally murmured to themselves. Kaldur slapped them in the head as he stared at your apologetically, “I know tonight was your night off but Rob isn’t here either and we both need you for this mission. some of the league is on their way and we need their approval before we go save the kids who are being held hostage,” Kaldur explained. 
you heard Robin’s name ring through the lair as he ran in with urgency. you looked from Kaldur and stopped dead in your tracks when you saw him. it took Robin a few seconds to look at you but when he did, it was like he saw a ghost in front of him. 
behind his sunglass and your domino mask, it was like a stare off. you felt like the wind was knocked out of you and held onto the table to catch your balance as Robin just stood in place. 
“uh is something wrong?” Wally asked seeing your reactions. both you and Robin were stunned into silence as you didn’t know what to say. Batman, Wonder Woman, and Superman’s name now rang through the lair as they entered the main floor. 
they couldn’t help but wonder what was going on as a thick silence was hanging in the air. both Batman and Wonder Woman immediately realized the situation and looked at each other as they put two and two together. the two of you, unintentionally revealed your identities to each other, and Batman more than Wonder Woman knew the two of you were going to be together tonight but what he didn’t expect was that the two of you were going to the lair dressed in the outfits you both wore to the dance. 
“Superman will accompany you on the trip. ( your hero name ) and Robin will stay back,” everyone looked at Batman as Wonder Woman nodded and grabbed you by the shoulder, Batman doing the same with Robin, “why? what happened?” Wally exclaimed. 
“nothing that concerns you Flash, now follow Superman’s orders,” was all Batman said before taking you two into an empty room with Diana following behind you. 
as soon as the door shut, you stared at Dick, his mask now off as you did the same. you didn’t know how to feel. your crush, your best friend, someone you loved dearly this entire time was also on the team and you had no idea what to do. 
“so, as you can see we have a situation. both of you know each others identities and it’s best we keep it between each other. she now knows my real identity and will remain the only one who does know.” 
Diana nodded, “the two of you now hold each others biggest secret and I think it’s best we both leave so you can talk it out,” she mentioned as she escorted Batman out of the room to leave you guys alone. 
Dick stared at you as he tried to read your expression, “all this time we left each other for stupid reasons, we were meeting each other again, just in our different identities?” was what he said. you nodded, “were you ever going to tell me?” you whispered. 
Dick walked up to you and held you close, “truthfully, when the time was right and with the bat’s approval, I was. everything I’ve ever said, tonight, the night we patrolled school together, everything! I meant it. you’re my best friend. you’re also someone I want to keep by my side together,” he finally confessed. 
you stared up at Dick before doing the one thing you always wanted to do. you leaned up and kissed him deeply. he was completely taken back but kissed you back. your arms wrapped his neck as he brought you in even closer. 
“wow, this was not how I expected the night to go,” you murmured against his lips, “for sure but I mean, we have the lair tonight and it’s completely empty. I want to give you that final dance of the night,” he said as he grabbed your hand and led you to the main floor again. 
you stared at Dick and took his hand as he swayed you to the song you first danced back at the formal. 
“take a ride up to Malibu, I just wanna sit and look at you, look at you. what would it matter if your friends knew? who cares what other people say anyway.”
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