#I thank god every day that ao3 added options to filter stuff out

[turbles]

(I posted this on twitter back in early March but since that platform is going down the tubes rn I'm reposting here as well for archival purposes)

Some background here. 6 years ago I took up reading fanfic as a hobby. Very quickly I realized I'd need a way to mark which fics I'd already read or tried to read and dropped, so I wouldn't keep running across the same ones over and over and forgetting I'd already read them. So I started bookmarking EVERYTHING regardless of my actual opinion on it (I'll come back to this)

Anyway eventually I realized that, via the filtering options AO3 provides for your bookmarks, I had a pretty good way to collect pointless data about my reading habits and make some really pointless graphs. So when I reached exactly 2000 bookmarks I decided to do that. as a reward to myself.

data for the original 2000 was collected from whenever I started doing this, through March 6th 2023

Caveat: obviously the possibility of human error in this data is significant. I was never consistent on whether I should bookmark all individual fics in a series or just the series itself if I read the whole thing, for instance, and I've surely forgotten to bookmark plenty of things I did read over the years. this is just for fun though so I'm not sweating it.

thank god for how detailed ao3's tag system is tbh

Anyway here's a pie of all fandoms (with over 50 bookmarks):

For some temporal context of the above, I fucking counted every bookmark from the top 9 categories there and arrayed them by month-bookmarked so I could make this chart of growth rates:

Genshin impact will of course continue to grow because the game continually releases new stuff and characters. Numbers spiked in October coinciding with sumeru's release. we'll see if another spike happens once fontaine releases in a few weeks from now. interestingly to me, I started been playing genshin like 6 months before I started participating in the fandom because it took me that long to get accustomed to the uh.. genshin-ness of the characters and the story, enough to start making inroads towards actually caring about the characters.

looks like FE3H grew the fastest, but it will eventually plateau like yoi, dragon age, and ffxv before it. Still kinda going strong though,since there's just lots of people writing for this fandom, and helped by the fact that it has a really large cast.

This next chart will take a little background info. So to indicate to myself something about the quality of the fic, when bookmarking I would choose to "Rec" it or not. As I said previously, I am literally bookmarking everything I read whether I loved it or hated it or it caused me pain or whatever. My criteria for whether I Rec a fic or not has never been set in stone, but THE IDEA is that recced fics were ones I overall quite liked, felt were well written and would be willing to go back & reread or had something else that made them stand out from the crowd. A recced fic isn't necessarily one I would literally recommend to people to read, and non-recced could mean anything from it was good but had one part that bothered me, to I had just read a bunch of that author's other works and this one was weaker than their others, to it was horrendous and ruined my whole day, to it was just kinda boring.

HOWEVER I did add my own more curated tag, Greatest Hits, for the ones that I really loved, that stuck with me after reading it, that I regularly desire to go back and revisit. While I rarely ever adjust my recs, I have often added (even sometimes removed) the Greatest Hits tag from fics years after first reading them.

Anyway that means this chart could be said to express in a really general way my opinion on the general quality of the writing in a given fandom:

I found it interesting that AA has such a high proportion of recs. I think its overall lower number of total bookmarks works in its favor here, as I tend to dip toes into a new fandom by first looking at top-kudosed fics and then when I find authors I like, trawling their bookmarks for more and branching out that way. So I tend to find pretty good fics earlier in the process. the longer I'm looking through a more stagnated fandom, the less good fics I find, is I guess the logic here. So in the case of AA, I suppose I didn't get much deeper than skimming the cream of the crop before I moved on?

Comparing genshin and fe3h vs. dragon age and ffxv, which all have more similar total bookmarks, was interesting too, to explain why genshin/fe3h's ratio of recs is higher. Both genshin and fe3h have really large casts, and therefore lots of different characters and pairings to read about, so it's almost like each pairing is kind of its own pool of fics that I'm skimming the best ones out of. with DA and FFXV there's really only a couple ships I'm interested in, and their ratios are similar accordingly

because we all know. that the main draw for fanfic tends to be shipping. so here's the top 10 most bookmarked ships pie:

and because genshin and fe3h are sizable enough to warrant a further breakdown of ships for that fandom alone, here's some pies for that:

it makes me laugh that dimiclaude is statistically significant when really I was just trying it out and ultimately decided I really don't even care for that ship

And a growth rate chart for genshin impact ships specifically:

so funny story, as I was playing through the liyue story chapter I was NOT a fan of childe at all, in fact I passed up two of his reruns before reading on the wiki (almost immediately after his 2nd rerun ended) a key piece of his backstory that all of a sudden caused his whole characterization to fall perfectly into place in my mind and he shot up the list to being my top fav character in the game literally over the course of like ten minutes. and yeah that was november 2021 and as you can see that's when I started really reading genshin fics LOL

forecasts have haikaveh and cynonari continuing to trend up for a little while, though the next region and thus a whole new cast releases soon and could stymie those trends. zhongchi is a staple genshin ship and imo a bit more flexible content- and dynamic-wise than many of the other pairings here, so I predict it maintains a regular gentle incline even in the face of shinier newer pairings.

The less stacked roster fandoms don't have as interesting breakdowns, but here they are just for curiosity:

and yeah that's all I made at the time! I only thought of it after but I'll be recording data on Ratings from now on as well. I'd also considered looking at things like average word count on recs or greatest hits fics, but absent of even more highly specific filtering tools that would probably fall under diminishing returns. maybe someday.

This was dumb but very engrossing and fun to make and I learned how to use google sheets out of it so we'll see if that ever comes in useful in my life

#fanfic #ao3 #op

[invisible-teacup]

Making the Mob Psycho 100 Ao3 page bearable starter pack

Featuring an essential new addition:

#mob psycho 100 #mp100 #shout out to all the fantastic writers that make digging through the mess that is ao3 worth it #I thank god every day that ao3 added options to filter stuff out #*puts on my hazmat suit* oh boy time for fan fiction #if I need to put some kind of warning tag on this let me know

[kingreywrites]

Kiss It Better?

@runningracingdancingchasing​​

Fandom: Tangled

Word Count: 3426

Prompt: “Kiss it better” kiss

Summary: "Kiss it better"... Rapunzel liked that idea, she decided. It might not be magic, not like her hair had been, but giving love and affection to comfort someone who was hurting was definitely its own form of healing.

Note: I haven’t posted anything in a while oops fdsghg Thank you Bex for the prompt!! I hope you’ll like this!! This is half fluff half hurt/comfort so everyone should be happy :’) 

Read on ao3

"Ouch," Eugene said quietly, startling Rapunzel out of her concentration as he sucked in a breath. 

They were in the library, their favourite place since they had been welcomed in the castle less than one month ago. They had a common passion for reading, though their tastes widely differed, and they both loved to spend quiet afternoons in each other's company, reading whatever story interested them that day. Today, Rapunzel had been learning a lot about the history of medicine, reading passionately an immense volume detailing the progress humanity made in this field - at least, until Eugene broke the silence. When she raised her head to look at him, she saw him pouting in the direction of one of his hands, more precisely towards his raised pinky. 

"Are you okay?" she asked worriedly, putting her book down and scooching over to be closer to him. 

"Yeah, I just got a papercut," Eugene grumbled. "These are the worst, such a tiny cut shouldn't have the right to sting that much." 

Gently, Rapunzel took his hand to inspect the wound. It really was nothing more than a little line on the tip of his finger. She never had to deal too much with papercuts; even if she did hurt herself during the day, she had always known that by the evening, she would sing to Gothel, and would heal every of her own ailments at the same occasion. But that wasn't an option anymore, of course. 

"You okay Sunshine?" Eugene said, interrupting her thoughts. She must have looked a little too intense - thinking about Gothel always did that to her. "You can always kiss it better if it's worrying you so much," he grinned. 

She frowned at him, his hand still in hers. "I'm pretty sure a kiss won't make it better. Actually, I don't recommend getting your wounds kissed at all, do you know the-" 

"Oh no, that's not- It's more of a… belief thing, I guess? I don't think a kiss can literally heal wounds, don't worry," Eugene explained awkwardly, and Rapunzel felt her cheeks darken at this. Of course Eugene wasn't seriously suggesting something like that. She should have known she was missing something - there was so much she still didn't know, so much she hadn't lived through, and she didn't feel like she would be able to catch up any time soon. Every place, every sentence seemed to hold a new concept she had never heard of before.

"Ah," she tried to chuckle, "of course." 

"Hey, it's okay," he smiled softly, his free hand gently pushing her short hair behind her ear. "It's something you do with kids mostly, to distract them from little hurts they might have. You're right though, you shouldn't kiss the wounds directly." 

She nodded emphatically, but kept herself from reciting all the exciting stuff she had learnt on medicine and bacterias today. She wanted Eugene to finish his explanation first. 

"Basically, a lot of kids cry after getting hurt because they got scared, not because they're still in pain. Applying a "magical" kiss distracts them, and that makes them stop crying most of the time. Well, if the kid isn't stubborn," Eugene muttered. He was definitely speaking from experience here. 

"It's not really magic then but it's... comfort?"

"Yeah exactly. It's both a distraction and a way to show a hurt kid affection, to make them feel better. I said it mostly as a joke," Eugene added.

Rapunzel hummed, mulling it over. This was… This was really nice, she decided. It might not be magic, not like her hair had been, but giving love and affection to comfort someone who was hurting was definitely its own form of healing.

Eugene's hand was still in hers, though she had lowered it on her lap during their little discussion. Slowly, she raised his hand again, smiling at the way he let her do it, and guided it to her lips. She put a soft kiss on the arch of his knuckles, eyes closed, thinking about all the love she felt for him. When she lowered his hand and opened her eyes, she saw the way Eugene looked at her, his cheeks bright red and his mouth half open.

"Have I done something wrong?" she asked worriedly. "Oh, maybe the kiss should be closer to the wound-"

"N- no, no," he stuttered out, "it was perfect, I..."

The red on his cheeks intensified and, with some amusement, Rapunzel understood that he was more moved than embarrassed.

"Are you feeling better?" she asked cheekily.

"Yep," he squeaked, "definitely."

"Good," she smiled, before taking the opportunity his distraction was offering to press her lips against his, drawing a soft noise from him. Her hands sneaked around his neck, and his own ended around her waist, any thought of papercuts - or reading, for that matter - forgotten.

------

Though Rapunzel knew the trip to the Dark Kingdom was dangerous, and that the future of her kingdom was at stake, she couldn’t help but think that life on the road was really exciting. She discovered so many new things each day! And, even if it always made Cass grumpy, stopping to explore was one of Rapunzel's favourite things to do. 

That was also why she treasured her dates with Eugene so much - not only did she love spending time with him without anyone else, but he also always made sure Rapunzel would be able to explore the most interesting places around. She sometimes worried he would grow bored of seeing her run everywhere, but he kept assuring her it wasn't the case - and going by the smile he always had when looking at her, she tended to trust him on this. 

Today was one of those great days. They were currently making their way into a really cool cave Rapunzel had spotted, and they had both gotten a little wet because it had been hidden away by a small waterfall - they sneaked behind it thanks to a narrow path leading to it. Eugene had grumbled about his hair, but he was cute when he did that, and he still followed her in despite the splashing water. 

"Uh, Sunshine," he called when she rushed inside. "Careful, it's probably slippe-" 

The last part of his warning was left unheard as Rapunzel slipped on the wet floor with a yelp, and fell heavily on her hands and knees. It stung. 

"I'm okay!" she exclaimed, grimacing as she got up again. Eugene was already next to her, and he gently took her arm to help her straighten up. "Ouch," she muttered when her knees contested said straightening up. 

"Come on, it's drier back there," Eugene noted, before guiding her further into the cave. 

She felt like she was walking like a penguin, trying to not bend her knees too much to avoid making it hurt more. The cave wasn't even that fun, or mysterious, she thought with a pout. Finally, Eugene helped her sit on a bigger rock, and kneeled before her extended legs. 

His eyes flickered up. "Can I...?" he asked, gesturing to her now dirty and slightly wet dress. 

"Of course," Rapunzel smiled - Eugene had seen way more of her body than just her knees, but she loved that he always made sure she was okay with whatever he was doing. 

Gently, Eugene rolled up the bottom of her skirt. He had to tug a little when he got to her knees, because it had stuck to her skin. Her skin probably broke in the fall, Rapunzel understood. 

"So? What's your pronostic, doc?" she joked as he inspected the wounds. 

"Your odds aren't good," Eugene declared dramatically, searching through his satchel, "but I think we can still save your legs." 

"Oh thank god," Rapunzel laughed, leaning forwards to see the scratches on her skin. One was a little deeper than the other, but it was nearly nothing. Eugene showed her the bandages he had packed triumphantly, and she laughed again. "Do you always carry that on you?" 

"Hey, I know my public! Although, it's not often that you're the one falling Sunshine." 

He took his cantine too, and poured water on the wounds, probably to get rid of the dirt and the pebbles. Rapunzel hummed quietly as he worked, mulling over what he said - he was right, she might be a little clumsy, but with her hair, rare were the occasions when she couldn't catch herself. 

There were worse situations to be in, though. The sunlight was filtered by the waterfall, illuminating the cave with a soft, dark blue colour. It was as if night had fallen in the middle of the day, and there were only the two of them in the entire universe. Eugene's slightly wet hair seemed even darker here, but his tongue popping out as he concentrated on her also made him look adorable. Rapunzel had come to explore this cave in search of adventure and mystery, but to have Eugene on his knees before her, taking care of her, loving her - that was perhaps the greatest treasure this cave could have ever possessed. 

"It's all good," he grinned, proud of himself. 

"Not exactly," she smiled. 

"Really? 

"Kiss it better?"

Eugene raised his head to observe for a few seconds. Without taking his eyes off her, he placed a soft and quick kiss on the top of her right knee, then on her left one, his skin warm against hers.

"And now?" he asked, putting his hands on the rock around her legs to get up and be closer to her. "Is it better?"

"I may need another kiss," she breathed, voice drowned by the rushing water and the feel of his lips against hers.

------

Rapunzel was thinking about these moments, right now. About the soft and careful kisses in the library, when their relationship was still so new, and they didn't quite know how to say I love you yet. About Eugene's tongue and his hands and his hips, all pressing against her during one of their rare moments of privacy on the road, cold drops of water falling on their heated skin. 

She was also thinking about the way Eugene's eyes smiled when he was happy; about the blush on his cheeks she knew exactly how to provoke, the laugh in his chest she could feel if he was close enough. She was thinking about it, because right now, Eugene didn't look happy at all, and she didn't like it when he wasn't. 

"Hey hey hey Rapunzel," he called her from above, sounding more scared than she had ever heard him, "stay with me please okay? Just- Just breathe, it's gonna be fine, I swear." 

Eugene always babbled a lot when he was freaking out. She found it adorable, really, but here, he seemed terrified, and she wanted to know what was wrong. Why was he- Why was he above her? No, wait, why was she laying on the ground? 

She tried to say… anything, really, but she felt something press harshly against her shoulder, and the intense pain that erupted from it took her breath away. For a second, she couldn’t see anything, couldn’t hear anything beyond the fast beating of her heart, before the world slammed back into focus, too bright, too loud, too painful. The sun was shining right into her eyes, it felt, and everything was nauseatingly hot - especially her shoulder, pulsing with a pain she didn't understand. There were voices all around her, and she heard Eugene snap at someone to back off, and she- the weight came back on her shoulder, and she gasped, feeling too tired to do anything else. 

"I'm sorry Sunshine, I'm so sorry," Eugene said quickly, something breaking in his voice. "You're gonna be fine but I need to do this, okay? I'm sorry, I know it hurts." 

"S'okay," Rapunzel croaked with difficulty, her throat dry. Eugene looked about to cry, and she tried to move her other hand to cup his cheek, but only her fingers twitched. Huh. 

Eugene's eyes left her to look at something she couldn't see without moving and, to be honest, she didn't intend to move at all if no one forced her. She was so tired. She could feel her eyelids flickering, her vision starting to blur, but she didn't want to make Eugene even sadder by falling asleep on him. His frown was only cute when she knew he was playing it up. 

Her head hurt. She could feel a slick warmth spreading under her shoulder, and she wondered what happened to the trip in town she was sure to have planned for today. She loved talking with the Coronans directly, and Eugene always managed to accompany her as a "security detail", so she would never miss it for anything. She was exhausted, though. Maybe it could wait for tomorrow... 

"No no no no, Sunshine, Rapunzel, hey." Her right shoulder -the one that didn't hurt- was shaken roughly, and she had to blink open the eyes she hadn't even realised she had closed. "Yes, look at me, you need to keep your eyes open until the doctor arrives, can you do that for me Sweetheart?" 

She tried to hum, but she wasn't sure he heard her. All around them, other people were moving, talking too loudly and too quickly for her to follow. She was... She was lying in the street? Eugene gently pushed aside her hair, but his usually white Captain glove had specks of red on it. Did he- no, she was the one who got hurt, she was pretty sure of that. Her shoulder hurt. But she couldn't- she didn't remember what happened.

"Eugene-" she gasped, feeling like she couldn't breathe right.

"I'm here, I'm right here Sunshine." He plastered the most unconvincing smile on his face, but she could see tears building up in his eyes. "I'm not leaving you I promise."

"I…" she tried, brain scrambling to find anything that could make Eugene look happier. 

She hated it when he was sad. She hated it when she was the reason for his sadness, because if there was one person she never wanted to upset, it was Eugene. But as long as she was hurt, she also knew he wouldn't be able to cheer up. 

"May- Maybe kiss it better?" she whispered hoarsely, blinking against the stars in her vision.

Eugene laughed tearfully. Her mission was somewhat accomplished, she thought with a small smile.

For a brief moment, she thought he wouldn't do it; then he leant over her gently, the sun illuminating his hair as his lips found hers with a tentative softness. Comfort. She remembered that this was the goal, to offer love and affection, to help overcome the pain. And, although this pain was still there, Rapunzel wanted to believe it was working, because she felt infinitely better when he kissed her. The kiss tasted salty. Eugene was crying, or maybe it was her, she wasn't sure. All too quickly, he ended it, leaving a piece of his heart with her.

She smiled, or at least tried to. "All better now," she intended to say, but her own words were lost to her when her vision tunnelled. Eugene cried out for her, and she wished so badly she could answer him, but her consciousness was playing a dirty fight, and she didn't even remember losing it.

------

Rapunzel woke up to whispers. The world was far less confusing, in this instant; there was no bright light, no burning pain, no loud voices - nothing but the quiet of the night… and these whispers. At first, she thought they were prayers, low and intense requests to be listened to. However, as she concentrated, through the mist covering her mind - as she listened, she understood that they were apologies. 

She understood that it was Eugene, holding her right hand in both of his, softly asking for her forgiveness, voice so quiet it felt like he didn't want to be heard. 

Despite the exhaustion, Rapunzel opened her eyes, feeling how heavy they still were. She breathed in deeply, and her shoulder twinged, but the pain was dull compared to earlier. She glanced to her right, and saw Eugene hunched over, looking at her hands as he muttered strings of apologies. He wasn't in his Captain uniform - just his regular clothes, and he looked... He looked small. Tired, too, even though she couldn't see his face. 

"This shouldn't have happened," he breathed, squeezing her hand tighter. "I should- I should have protected you better. I'm sorry," he repeated again. 

There were a lot of things she wanted to say. She wanted to tell him that no one could predict these kinds of things, and that no matter the protection, someone who wanted her dead could always find a way to harm her. She wanted to tell him that she loved how he trusted her, she loved that he never tried to coddle her like other people in her life did, and she knew that, despite how scared he was right now, he would never do anything to impair her freedom. She wanted to tell him that this was a good thing. She wanted to tell him that she loved him. 

"Hey," she said instead, her voice so hoarse she sounded like a grandma. Eh, she did her best. 

Eugene's head snapped up, and his eyes widened visibly when they met hers. A myriad of emotions played on his face, the guilt and the joy and the fear all mixing together for an instant, until a bright and disbelieving smile broke on his face. 

"Rapunzel," he breathed out, biting his lips as he held her hand tighter and leant to be closer to her. "I- Hi," he laughed, though it looked like a sob. "You're okay." 

She grinned as best as she could, revelling in the way he immediately cupped her cheek, like he always did. 

"Love you," she murmured, and it was all it took for his emotions to get the better of Eugene. His face contorted as he fought it, but it was too late; he lowered his face on her bed when the first tear fell, shaking slightly. 

"I thought- I- I'm so sorry, Sunshine," he said, chest heaving as he looked at her again. His face was a mess. There were dark circles under his eyes, a flow of tears staining his cheeks, and, most of all, he still seemed terrified that she might close her eyes again, not wake up this time. 

Eugene wasn't supposed to look like this. Eugene should be smiling, because she never wanted him to suffer from anything. But he was hurting right now, and if she couldn't make everything right again, she could at least make it better. 

She could bring him comfort. 

Rapunzel breathed, and used all her energy to raise herself slightly on her right arm. She didn't go far, but Eugene immediately came to support her, and before he could try to put her back on the bed, she raised the arm that was supporting her quickly, and latched it around his neck. 

He didn't let her fall. She had known he wouldn't. 

But now that she was close enough, she crossed the remaining space between them, and gently kissed the top of his cheek, feeling the salty taste of his tears on her lips. His eyes fluttered closed, and she felt his arms hug her tenderly, as if he was afraid she would disappear. 

"Are you kissing my tears better?" he asked quietly, holding her tightly. 

"Is it... Is it working?" she said, feeling now tired as she rested her head on his shoulder, feeling safe and sound in his arms. 

"Yes." His breath tickled the skin of her neck. Gently, he helped her lie down again, and she was too exhausted to say anything. "It's definitely working," he whispered. 

His hand was playing with strands of her hair, soothing her as she was already half-asleep. She smiled, because she could already see that this was true, that he was feeling better now just from her kiss. And she would kiss him over and over and over again if he wanted, because she loved being able to sooth his hurts just by being there for him, just like he could sooth hers by being there for her. 

She would do it after sleeping, though. For that night, she rested, because she knew she'd have the opportunity to love him tomorrow too, and that she'd do it for as long as it was possible.

#tangled #Rapunzel #Eugene Fitzherbert #tangled the series

[nevernotwriting]

You, Me, and Yancy | Chapter 10: Of Prisoners and Men

Read me on AO3!

Previous chapter

“Come on, come on, pick up,” you grumbled, gritting your teeth as you paced back and forth along the grass. The line continued ringing until it was suddenly cut off by a deep, tired voice.

“… Zero?”

The anger running through your veins stilled the second you heard him.

“… Mark?”

There was a pause as Mark registered your voice. When he spoke again, he was choked with surprise.

“Is that really you?”

“Yeah. It’s me.”

“Oh my god, you have no idea how happy I am to hear from you!” His words were strained, making your throat clench. “How did you get out?!”

You forced your eyes to keep away from the prison gate. “I… I had some help. Listen, d’you think you could pick me up? There’s no one out here.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I think the prison’s about twenty-five minutes from my place. Can you sit tight? I’ll be as fast as I can.”

“Sure.” You swallowed past the lump in your throat, quickly hanging up. Now that he was actually on his way, your anger and nerves were slowly returning. You took deep breaths in and out and sat down on the curb, wringing your hands together as you waited.

Sure enough, a pair of headlights approached from the distance just over twenty minutes later. You stood up carefully, one hand on your lower torso where you could feel your bandages coming loose after your chaotic escape. You pocketed your phone and the key as the car came to an abrupt stop, brakes squeaking on the tarmac. Mark jumped out, locking eyes with you. The relief you’d heard in his voice on the phone was matched with his expression as he strode towards you, and the ice surrounding your heart began to melt again.

You didn’t even manage a hello before he wound his arms around you, more conscious of your injury this time. He spoke softly into your ear.

“Are you all right?”

You nodded in his gentle hold. “Yeah, I’m all right.”

Mark withdrew his grasp, smiling at you. You briefly smiled back.

“Let’s get going then, before it gets too cold,” you said, hopping into the car. Mark followed you, getting into the driver’s seat. You leant back against the headrest as the prison disappeared in the side mirror. Your stomach swam with a myriad of unspoken words and mixed-up feelings, your head feeling the same. Not knowing quite what to say or do, you stayed silent.

That was until something occurred to you that made your head snap upright. “Ah, shit.”

Mark glanced away from the road. “What’s wrong?”

“My apartment keys. They’re in my desk drawer at HQ. And my car’s still there, damn it.”

There was silence for a few seconds as Mark pursed his lips in thought.

“It’s pretty late now. If you want, you can stay at my place and we can head to HQ tomorrow?”

Your face soured at the thought of having to face Shark, but you knew it had to be done. “Okay.”

“How’s your side?” Mark asked, looking down at your torso.

“It’s fine.”

Mark frowned. “You sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah.”

The remainder of the car journey was awkwardly quiet, leaving you plenty of time to stew in your thoughts. Words were brewing at your lips by the time you got to Mark’s place. He sensed your mood as he directed you into his spare room, where tension filtered into the air like thick fog.

“Bathroom’s down the hall on the right if you want a shower, there’s some bandages in the medicine cabinet too.”

“Thanks.”

Mark nodded with a small smile, leaving you to it.

You decided to take a shower first, hoping the steam and hot water would clear your head, but all it did was intensify your emotions as you stood under the stream like a statue. You stared at the floor as the water ran down your face and dripped from the edge of your nose, swirling down the drain. By the time you had finished and returned to the spare room, the bedding was made up for use and one of Mark’s shirts and a pair of joggers were folded on top of it. You scoffed stubbornly, not wanting to wear them but knowing it was better than the prison rags you’d been wearing for the past few days.

With fresh clothes on you made your way into the kitchen, following the faint smell of herbal tea. Mark was pouring hot water into two mugs as you came in. He smiled warmly at you as you entered, but you quickly averted your gaze to the floor.

“The pants don’t fit quite right,” you remarked, fiddling with the drawstring.

Mark chuckled as he slid a mug towards you across the counter top, taking a sip from his own. “Good thing they’re adjustable. You can keep ‘em if you want.”

You didn’t reply, busying yourself by cupping your hands around the hot drink. Steam rose from the surface. You stared as it danced around and disappeared over and over. Tension still bubbled inside you.

Mark put his mug down with a sharp clatter. You looked at him, biting the inside of your lip.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he breathed, smiling and reaching a hand out towards you.

You took a step back from him. A look of hurt and concern immediately struck his face.

“What’s wrong?”

The tension finally reached your throat, making it clench yet again. Your question was quiet when it emerged, every word tinged with hurt.

“Were you even gonna come back for me?”

Mark stared at you in disbelief. “Wha-”

“If I hadn’t called, would you have come back for me?” The words were louder this time, tears filling your eyes. You blinked them back stubbornly.

“Of course! I was going to, I-”

“Then why didn’t you? I saw the security footage, Mark, you just wandered off and left me!” You scowled at him, anger and hurt filling every fibre of your being. Mark blinked at you, dropping his head to the floor with a gentle sigh.

“Look, I was gonna come back for you, I was working on a plan. But Shark really chewed me out for failing the heist, she’s been piling on assignments and I’ve barely slept cause I’ve been thinking about how to get you-”

You cut him off with an astonished noise somewhere between laughter and a gasp. “So Shark was willing to just cut me out?!”

“This has happened to rookies before, Zero! But I wasn’t gonna let it happen to you!” Mark retorted, desperation clear in his eyes.

“That doesn’t make it okay.” You shook your head at him, tears finally falling down your cheeks. “I’ll go in and get my stuff tomorrow, but… I might have to start looking at other options.”

Realisation dawned across Mark’s face. “If you talk to Shark, she’ll have you back. I don’t doubt it. Even after we failed the heist, she has to know the team wouldn’t be the same without you.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to weigh up your options faster than your brain would allow. Words emerged before you had time to take them back.

“We didn’t fail the heist.”

Your eyes met Mark’s again. He frowned in confusion. “But the artefact-”

“I got it back, before I got out. It’s a skeleton key.”

Mark’s eyes lit up with a spark. “No way, I’ve heard of those before! This is incredible! We can use this, Shark has to let you back in after she sees you have it-”

“No.��

He blinked. “What do you mean?”

“There’s no way I’m letting her have it, not after this. Besides, I know someone who deserves it more.”

Yet more confusion spread over his face. “Who?”

You took a deep breath, lowering your gaze and your voice along with it.

“There’s a prisoner at Happy Trails, his name is Yancy. He helped break me out, and he doesn’t deserve to be in there. I wanna do the same for him.”

You looked back up at Mark, heart hammering. Mark was staring at you blankly, lost in complete bewilderment as he tried to process your words.

“Right, so, let me get this straight,” he started, running a hand through his hair. “You wanna break some guy out of prison, who you’ve known for like three days, because… why, exactly?”

“He’s not just some guy!” You protested. “He was sweet, and I wouldn’t have made it out if it weren’t for him. And like I said, he doesn’t deserve to be in there. He really doesn’t.”

Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Didn’t realise you had a thing for bad boys.”

“Hey, that’s not fair,” you snapped, pointing a finger at Mark. “You don’t know him. He’s not that bad.”

Mark gestured wildly, his eyes wide. “He’s a criminal!”

“And what are we, then?”

Mark stammered, summoning any words to get you to listen. “How do you know he’s not just using you to get out?”

You glared at him, clenching your jaw. “He’s not. He knows the way out.”

“Then don’t you think he’d get himself out if he wanted to?”

Your eyes lost their fire as Mark raised an eyebrow at you. You grumbled and shook your head, draining the last of your drink and stomping over to the sink.

“I have to at least try,” you mumbled, filling the mug with water and hoping the small action would distract from the lingering tension and heartache in the room.

Silence. Mark sighed gently, running a hand down his face. You glanced at the calendar pinned up on the fridge.

“He told me visitation is every third Sunday. That should be the day after tomorrow. I’m going to see him, whether you’re with me or not.”

There was another eternal pause, until Mark spoke once more. “Okay.”

You turned to him. He attempted a smile, glancing at the floor.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m with you. I don’t really get it, but… I’m with you.”

You stared at each other. There was a sincerity in his expression that sent a crack through your heart. You cleared your throat and nodded.

“Thanks.” The word fell cold and flat, only adding to the sombre atmosphere. You averted your gaze and trudged out of the kitchen, leaving Mark alone.

“Hey Zero?” He called.

You turned back around, standing in the doorway. He leaned against the counter top with his hands entwined, looking at the floor again.

“I’m guessing cause of this, you… won’t have time for our date this weekend?”

Your heart sank as he dared a glance up at you. He looked exhausted. You sighed, shaking your head.

“Sorry, Mark. I just don’t think now’s a good time.”

Mark nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line. “No, yeah, I understand. Sleep well. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yeah... see you tomorrow.”

 There were no words exchanged between you and Mark the next morning on your way to HQ, only stolen glances and tired sighs. You thanked him for the ride as you came to a stop, jumping out of the car before the awkward atmosphere consumed you. Mark called out of his window just before you disappeared inside.

“Hey, let me know how it goes tomorrow, yeah? Call me if you need help.”

You stopped and gave him a nod, still confused as to why he was so willing to help you. The crunch of gravel under tyres sounded as you entered the building.

You wasted no time in striding to your desk, retrieving your keys and pocketing them. When you turned around, two familiar figures were watching you from close by, making you stop in your tracks.

Shrike and Gareth were stood together, staring at you in amazement. You sighed as you sauntered over to them, thinking you’d be able to slip in and out easily on a Saturday. Apparently not.

Shrike was the first to speak. “Heard you got shot.”

You nodded. “Yep.”

Gareth scoffed. “No way. You were just using any excuse to spend more time with Mark, rookies don’t make it back after getting shot.”

Anger and impatience bubbled inside you. “Guess I’m not a rookie anymore then.”

Shrike laughed, raising her eyebrows. “Relax, he’s just teasing. You get yourself out of prison?”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. You didn’t have time for this.

“No, a magical fairy broke me out.”

Shrike looked taken aback. “Jeez, what crawled up your butt and died?”

“Look, I only came in for my keys. I’m going back home. You can tell Shark I’ll be back in on Monday… probably.”

“Woah, hold on,” Gareth began, taking a step closer to you with an amused smile. “First you fail the heist, then you get yourself stuck in prison, and now you show up just to say you might not be coming back? You’ve got some nerve, kid.”

“Unless you think this,” you lifted your shirt, revealing the layers of bandage still wrapped around you, “means I’m in a fit state to stick around and explain myself to everyone who’s in today, then I’ll be going home.”

Shrike and Gareth stared at your bandage, eyes widening. Gareth took a step back, muttering an apology under his breath.

“Shit. Well…” Shrike spoke for the two of them, concern filling her eyes possibly for the first time ever. “Look after yourself, Zero. I’ll give Shark the low-down.”

“Thank you.”

“See you Monday, kiddo?” Gareth asked.

“Sure, whatever.”

 You breathed a sigh of relief as you walked back into your apartment. It felt like you’d been gone for an eternity, but in reality, it was only a few days, and everything was just as you’d left it. The clock still ticked gently on the mantlepiece. The fridge was still humming. The tap in the bathroom still dripped every few minutes from when you’d not turned it off tight enough. You turned it now, looking at your reflection in the mirror.

Your eyes were heavily hooded, with slight bags underneath them. A withered smile appeared on your face as you tried to lighten your mood, but you couldn’t fool yourself. You looked exactly how you felt; drained.

Realising you were still wearing Mark’s borrowed clothes, you wrestled out of them and jumped in the shower, allowing the water to clear your head so you could hatch a plan for your visit to Yancy.

Next chapter

#a heist with markiplier #ahwm #heist mark #heist mark x reader #heist! mark x reader #yancy x reader #ahwm yancy x reader #ahwm yancy #my writing #nevernotwriting

[hopevalley]

I just want to thank you for keeping this public. I have promoted you on Twitter and will continue to do so. I want to help in any way I can.

I debated all morning on how to reply to this. I know this is reference to Melinda making her blog private for Tumblr users only, and I think it’s important for me to express my opinion on that situation.

But first: thank you for the Twitter promotion! I have a Twitter account, but I admit I rarely use it (because I find it confusing to use lol). It’s @july_skies !

Regarding Melinda’s decision to privatize her blog: I support it. She works hard on her content and deserves to feel that people who like it will be capable of supporting it in a direct way (reblogs specifically). Nothing sucks more than making stuff and seeing that nobody’s looking at it or enjoying it, and whether or not that’s what it seems like to (general) you, that’s how it comes across when people don’t reblog her stuff. It’s depressing. It’s like she’s throwing her hard work right into the void.

While I’m on the subject, I’d like to talk about content creation a little more, to help give you guys a better idea of fandom and your place as a consumer of fanworks; I know a lot of you might be new to the concept, and you can’t know if nobody thinks to tell you.

For my “credentials,” let’s just say I’ve been a content creator for more than half my life and there’s something we lifers call fandom participation or fandom engagement. They are more or less the same thing, and the terminology boils down to us answering this question: “How is the fandom at large engaging with our content?”

In the last handful of years, participation is down across the board. When I first got into writing fanfiction I’d get at least 40 comments on anything I wrote. Many of my works ended up with 60+ comments on them! 

Now I’m lucky if anyone comments at all, especially in this fandom. Again, it’s a problem everywhere, but I still get comments on fanfic I posted five years ago in other fandoms; meanwhile, this one remains relatively silent. 

I post on AO3 for two big reasons. 1) ACCESSIBILITY. AO3′s site layout is easy to read! It’s easy to format! It’s friendly to people with issues seeing small print! And then we have 2) I do it to give people the option of commenting anonymously (in case they’re shy or nervous).

Having an account there isn’t required at all. People just choose not to engage with me when I post fanfiction.

It feels bad to spend hours of your time on something only to see 0 notes/comments/likes/reblogs/whatever on it later. Four ‘likes’ doesn’t feel that good either. Did people actually like it? Are they pity-likes? Do they even care? People mindlessly ‘like’ a lot of things; maybe they did that with your content, too. I’m not saying I don’t enjoy seeing ‘likes’ but a ‘like’ is more or less an acknowledgement that they’ve seen the content, not that they enjoyed it or want more of it.

Also, likes/kudos don’t draw in more readers: comments do. When a reader’s scrolling down the front page of their favorite AO3 fandom, they click on the ‘fics that look like they might be ‘good’ and even though it’s not always TRUE that the ‘best’ stories have the most comments, a lot of readers filter by the number of comments! 

Comments tell other readers: this is worth checking out!

Let’s look at a quick example of one of my ‘fics:

This is from my AO3 account, a random WCtH fanfic. It’s not a long one, but it’s not short either. It’s a reasonable read in terms of time spent to read it, and as you can see 185 people clicked on it, 14 people ‘liked’ it (kudos are “likes”), and I have two comments: one of those comments is @trash-god and the other is me replying to her comment.

Her comment isn’t ‘less than’ because she’s a close friend, but she and I spoke at length about this story on Discord and her comment was just a nice little ‘addition’ to that conversation. Sure, the story’s about characters not many people care about, but look at that: 185 hits on the story. 14 likes. And only one person who read it took five seconds to leave a comment? Really? What about the 13 other people who ‘liked’ it?

What this says to me as a creator is that the ONLY person who is going to comment is the one person who might feel obligated to, and if that’s the case, why don’t I just save my stories to show her privately? Why bother posting them out into the void to hear nothing but silence from everyone else?

This is the direction that @whencallstheheart is coming from. What’s the point of spending hours creating these things when nobody interacts with you? Posting to silence feels bad. And look, to put it into perspective, editing gifs to post, writing fanfic, doing write-ups, maintenance of a blog, site, or social media presence: it’s super time-consuming. 

Melinda and I both work full-time jobs as it is. My job hit full busy season and I’m even getting overtime now. I’m in training to take over the department next year and I’m tired at the end of the day. When I get home I have eight cats, a house to take care of, and a spouse, not to mention my in-laws live right next door and need help sometimes. We also have a property we just planted 1500 trees on by hand that we have to monitor, and my husband owns a house we rent to someone that needs work done on it, too. Sometimes, life is busy.

And don’t get me wrong! I enjoy creating, just like I’m sure Melinda does. I feel awful if I can’t “create.”

But if my choices are:

work for five hours on a fanfic or episode write-up only to get 4 likes on it, OR

play a video game or watch a movie or read a book or sit on the deck watchin’ the sun go down while I work on a crocheting project…

The latter definitely appeals to me more knowing I have to get up in the morning to go back to work again. My time is worth something. Neither Melinda nor I are getting paid to create this content. We put it together for free, in what spare time we have, in the midst of our own chaotic lives. My website costs me a chunk of money every year to keep up and running ad-free, and I could get all 1500 trees weeded in the amount of time it takes me to put together an episode write-up or decent fanfic.

All content creators ask for in exchange for their free labor is a sense of community, and that can be anything from:

comments on fanfics you enjoyed, even if they are just to say, “I read this and enjoyed it.” 

messages that say, “I really like how [this edit you did] turned out.”

reblogs on Tumblr, retweets on Twitter, emails to website owners

you can even create your own blog and use it to begin conversations with those creators!

You guys have been pretty good about engaging with the show itself through us, but don’t forget to engage with the content you enjoy seeing that comes about because of the show. 

Fandom content keeps the show alive even when it’s not currently airing, and supporting content creators keeps them creating. Everyone wins, then!

To talk specifically about written content...

Readers are the ones who ensure more material is created. Hands down.

And again: I love writing!! I DO. I’ve been writing seriously for more years of my life than I haven’t been writing seriously! But it’s disheartening to post a fanfic and get my one obligation comment.

Now, it’s fine if you don’t read fanfiction or even enjoy it. It’s also fine if the things I’ve posted aren’t to your specific tastes. Trust me, I get it; nobody is obligated to comment on my fanfiction, and I don’t want anyone to feel that they should be.

But please know this: if you do enjoy something, whether it’s fanfic or edits or something else, you NEED to engage with it, or it WILL disappear. People don’t like talking to walls. It’s frustrating and it isn’t a good use of their time.

(This is one of the reasons I haven’t bothered doing a novelization of the series. It could be fun, but for 0 comments it’s not worth spending the time on.)

Again, you guys have been great when it comes to engaging with the show material, particularly while the show is airing. It’s been fun speculating with you and hearing all of your different thoughts. I know sometimes Tumblr doesn’t make it easy to communicate, either, and you’ve all done a great job of getting around that.

But in between seasons things get slow on this blog and it’s hard for me (or anyone running a blog) to feel motivated to provide content of any sort if you’re not going to take the time to engage in it.

I’ll never mark this blog as private, but if I get to the point where I can’t get any engagement from the fans, I’ll shut it down. The point of having a “fandom blog” is to interact with other fans.

I enjoy providing content to you guys, but if participation drops off to nothing, I’ll be taking that as my signal that the audience is gone and my time would be better spent elsewhere. 

So if you’re here and you’re enjoying things, don’t forget to take a little time out of your day to let your content creators know! Not just me and Melinda, of course, but your favorite people on Instagram, Twitter, and other sites as well. ♥ You might be surprised how happy they’ll be to receive interaction from other fans.

And another plug for fanfiction, because 1) they always get the short end of things considering how hard it is to amass the creative energy necessary to tell a good story, and 2) I noticed it’s the #2 page on my website getting visited: if you’ve enjoyed anything you’ve read for When Calls the Heart, tell the author! Here’s the section for WCtH on AO3! Is English not your native language/you’re not confident in your ability to write English? No worries! I’ve gotten many thoughtful comments in other languages and from people who spoke limited English, and trust me: I treasured every one. If you’re just not sure how to comment on fanfic, send me a message and I’ll give you some tips!

I don’t intend this as a slight against my anonymous friend up there AT ALL; I think it can be hard to be in fandom, especially if you’re newer to the scene. There’s a lot of history that’s long gone by now and missing out on it means it’s harder to step into fandom without also accidentally stepping on toes.

Sometimes we take for granted that we have an almost unlimited supply of fanfiction, gifs, memes, blogs, and so on at our disposal. But none of that comes from thin air and it never did. It’s the cumulative hard work of millions of people throwing their hearts and souls into something they’re passionate about in an effort to engage with other fans.

I hope this helped put things into perspective a bit!! Sending love at all of you that stuck around this far; I know it was quite a bit of a ramble LOL!

#when calls the heart #anonymously asked #answered mail #thank you for the kind comment but here's my perspective #in the hopes that you'll understand melinda's a little more #the lack of engagement gets me down too tbh #if i felt people would comment on and want to talk to me about #a novelization i'd start writing it tomorrow