#I think my madness is gone though

[flufallo]

What possessed me to make these 😭

#i had fun tho #jacksons diary #david miller #exer campbell #ronald novikov #timothy jacksons diary #sorry 😭 #there not half bad tbh #im just a little bit mad #i think i post way too much #but i dont careeee #hehe #ive definately gone mad #im just bored #so my first though were to make these #obviously 🙄 #tim looks kinda off tho

[supercantaloupe]

truly detest how pcos tags/forums/etc are absolutely crawling with terfs

#(okay to rb but stay in your lane) #maybe i just want to look and see if anyone else has experienced what i went through today without seeing someone going like #'you'll never be a REAL woman because you DON'T HAVE OVARIES #and will NEVER understand the TRUE WOMANLY EXPERIENCE of having A VERY DISRUPTIVE AND COMPLEX ENDOCRINE AND METABOLIC DISORDER' #like i think there are more important (read: actual) targets to direct our frustration at here than #[checks notes] getting mad at a trans woman for saying she relates to some of the problems caused/faced by having pcos #like. idk. the fucking medical system and lack of research/treatment options #(also. christ. reducing every person w pcos into the 'woman' category automatically bc 'ovary'. #even though it's literally an intersex condition. yikes.) #also i don't know about y'all but i don't wish this on anyone? regardless of gender?? #i actually don't want trans women to have to experience this in order to be considered a True Woman #because i don't want ANYBODY to have to experience this. it sucks! it's not fucking fun! #i just wanted to try and see if other people have gone through the same thing i have. not expand my blocklist by half a mile tonight. #i wanna talk about me #even though i didn't exactly find what i was looking for (😔) and i had to play fucking whack-a-terf while searching #if there's any bright side to be found it's the number of posts/people affirming pcos as an intersex condition/identity #i saw someone say 'if you don't want the [intersex] umbrella for yourself you don't have to take it #but it's nice to have in the closet for a rainy day' #and. man. yeah.

[mieltelecheycrema]

yk no one really talks about the ending glitch thing (from what ive seen) in f and c like yeah its a whole blink and you miss it type thing but the implications !!!!

more in tags

#like ive seen two ppl bring it up so far and get very little notes so sad #this is why im writing a pwish fic or well trying really hard to and idk if it even classifies as that #fionna and cake spoilers #okay so basically the idea is scarab and prismo whole roomate sitch blah blah blah scarab has been avoiding looking at prismo. like basical #y ignoring due to being mad and embarrassed then either smth brings attention to the glitching or scarab notices it and its like whu huh ? #bam prject prismo gone now its og pris and scarab is freaking the fuck out and has to figure out how to deal #then to the meat its gonna be like getting to know each other better backstory stuff and like figuring out what is going on while trying to #keep like the wishmaster position lookinh normal like nothings wrong or smth w/ the big boss #its all notes rn and i haven’t written fic in the longest but !!! i think it should be touched on more #prismo #scarab #yeah thats all im tagging ughh im so busy though idk if ill be able to even write the dang thing #i want to though 🫵 thats the important biz #mielmbles #prismo could die also like idk i got a bunch of steps and dialogue written #now the actual real question is if ill share the fic or just preserve it in my notebook like the other ones

[yikes-ajax]

I so badly wish I could catch my cat running and meowing down the hall at the same time on camera. You can hear each step in her voice.

I had taken her collar off to let the skin there breathe tonight, so when she started playing with it, I let her scamper off with it in her mouth. I think she realized that she was no longer wearing her collar, and in fact packing it around, because hardly a minute later she came running back to give it to me, sounding genuinely distressed to the point I thought something scared her. She just wanted the collar back on :P

#this cat... i have so many stories about her. she just has so much personality #this was he first collar though and when i had first put it on her she seemed SO proud and happy #i think she knew it meant shes part of family now after seeing me put one on the other cat too #(who is DISRESPECTFUL and does not appreciate the hard earned two bucks i spent on his. it was even GLITTERY. what an asshole) #shes been super clingy lately and wants me to do everything with her. been working a lot this week though so shes also been really mad #my mom says she stands in my room and meows at my bed while im gone :( #she acts like shes so over me when i come home though lmao #petblr #cat life #cat lovers #catblr #animals #cat #my cat #cat problems #cat memes #silly cats #stupid cat #storytime #cat stuff #crazy cats

[ivyithink]

back to my roots (drawing alfred and aethelflaed interactions, cause they melt my heart)

also the 1st season squad is very important to me, i love them a lot

+ moments from books that were stuck in my mind while i was drawing))

#my art #my doodles #yeah i am ignoring the golden hair description cause even though it might’ve been even more visually striking i reference the show #for characters’ looks #my brain won’t let me break this self-imposed rule sorry #but aren’t they so sweet? #i’m definitely not thinking about how it would feel to remember a moment like this after they both are gone #absolutely not thinking about that uh-uh #and yeah i’m #trying to depict more historically accurate clothes while using 21st century language #mad lad behaviour #i love the interactions between uhtred and little aethelflaed in the books #there aren’t many of them but they are kinda hilarious #love the one where he basically wants to tell alfred to fuck off but can’t do it cause aethelflaed is laying in her dad’s lap and watching #uhtred like a hawk #and the scene where she tells uhtred she wanted danes to come closer to their hiding place so she could watch him chop their heads off #what a kid right? #i don’t actually mind their relationship in the show and 5th season absolutely broke my heart #but fond uncle uhtred and bright little menace aethelflaed is one of my most beloved headcanons for sure #wholesome #the last kingdom #tlk #tlk alfred #tlk aethelflaed #tlk uhtred #tlk leofric #tlk iseult #tlk hild

[chickenisamazing]

This is the first time I've gained weight during Ramadan

#T #I've actually gained so much weight since December it's really bad #I've done no exercise I've gone on exactly one (1) hike this year #I'm the heaviest I've ever been #I'm short of breath going up the stairs #I'm not too mad about the Ramadan weight as long as I can lose it after Eid #It simultaneously feels weird and normal at the same time #I feel like me and not like me #I mean look gaining weight is kinda working I haven't been very hungry #Though isn't part of the point of fasting to feel that hunger a little bit #I think the reason is that I've actually been eating a proper suhoor #Usually I don't eat much for suhoor bc I hate eating in the mornings #But I've been eating a lot #Bc I want my brain to be working in the evenings while I'm at work #(Though often it still doesn't work)

[nostalgia-tblr]

I had another fic idea and the brain was like "no, that's too fluffy and romantic and YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO WRITE NICE THINGS, PEOPLE WOULD JUDGE YOU" but then I went "but what if it was kind of... comedy fluff?" and brain went "...yeah, okay, if you really must." Which I fucking HATE! Why can't I write nice things, brain?! Everyone else is allowed to! FFS, it's fanfiction, it doesn't have to be ~deep~ or any of that shit!

This has actually been a bit of an issue when I'm trying to write The WIP because while I told myself yeah sure go ahead and write the massively self-indulgent epically long (by my own odd standards) fic but still sometimes I get stuck because I'm not "allowed" to write something that appeals to me and my own sometimes niche interests??

Like angst I can do because that's "proper" somehow? WTF is that about? It's not proper! It's still daft! And comedy I'm allowed because I dunno apparently if it will make someone laugh that means it has "value"? It's very annoying, I don't like it.

Do other people have this? How do you deal with it? You'd think after all this time I'd be okay with writing any old shit that I want to. If anything it might be worse now. I remember years ago I could tell myself "Look, if you've spelled most of it correctly then it's already in like the better half of all the fanfic on the internet" which isn't really TRUE but I could go along with that and let myself write whatever-the-fuck I wanted to.

You know how many of us go "I'll write this fucked up thing... but I'll post it as Anon"? I get that with fluffy fic ideas as well. Or with things that are "too shippy" (WTF?) It's just such a stupid and weird form of self-criticism and it bothers me a lot.

#ranting at myself #writing stuff #possibly this is a mental illness thing but i don't think it is but it might be? #i am Quite Mad but it usually manifests related to fic as the usual “you suck!!” or irritating OCD things about wordcounts or such #this is a VERY SPECIFIC thing and i don't even know where it came from? #maybe i'm just pretentious? do i look pretentious? i might be? #(the fluffy thing was sylki fic where spinning off on the 'oh no unable to express feelings!' they have to pass each other notes) #(the comedy element was that this is Bloody Stupid and also Mobius attempts to Help (oh no) and etc) #(will i ever be able/“allowed” to actually write that thing? dunno!) #the Frigga thing also suffers from “that bit is despicably adorable you should be ASHAMED of yourself” #.The WIP? currently stuck at “okay now he needs to Hold The Baby. this is an important bit you can't skip it. but babies are Too Twee” #“so you may NOT just write someone Holding The Baby because that's like something people might actually want to read!” #“the murders are fine you can write murders. murder isn't twee. babies are VERY twee though.” #PROBLEM: there are several babies in this fic and the next chapter is like... ENTIRELY baby-based #(the end of the entire fic is already written and it's Too Twee as well but i've kind of gone immune to that because it's existed a while) #(oh no did i just spoiler a Happy Ending?!) #(SPOILER: kind of. it depends who you backed in this race and whether you wanted them to Become Better People) #anyway am gonna post this now before i change my mind as i probably should #fic related

[craycraybluejay]

i saw my therapist and it was so amazing and then i got immediately un-therapized by a horrible person

#literally whats the point of therapy if im getting harassed and put in a bad mood all the damn time #like. i was so happy there and then.. gone #but im just gonna think about it harder and how nice it was and just how understood and seen she makes me feel #she is the kindest human being ever. ever. just the kindest #and i want to carry that kindness instead of all this misery people keep trying to shove onto me #you know what! #brick walling it! your shitty behaviour will not continue to bring me down! #you are a bad person and im glad you got yourself worked up over literally nothing! #enough to pick a fight with me and then get even more insane and threatening when after ignoring you for awhile i took the bait! #i gave you! every opportunity! to shut up and leave me alone with your nonsense! #i tried to set a boundary and you kept pushing. so no im not gonna let your horrible attitude make me sad for the rest of the night #you deserved to be reminded that youre a bad person even though youll continue blaming everyone but yourself #for what by all means you did #no one forced you to do it. #even my therapist who is supposed to be impartial sees how ridiculous you are #everyone around you sees it. you are a pathetic laughingstock and you dont deserve space in my head #i just wish it was Easier to ignore the constant barrage of madness #i wish i felt more stoic and put together than i present myself #and i wish you would shut the fuck up and leave me alone

[meggettes]

my mom died a year ago

#grief #technically I’m about 4 hours early from the exact tod but yeah #i was probably up til 3:30 or so that night #I could double check bc i wrote a journal entry that night when i couldn’t fall asleep #it’s been 365 really busy days but shit right now it feels like no time has passed at all #but shoutout to palliative care nurses everywhere #and mad props to the oncologists doing bonkers scifi treatments and trials #keep up the good work #mom’s final cancer was a hell of an eldrich beast but medicine keeps developing #and bringing on night nurses for those last three nights of hospice was such a help and a comfort I don’t think I have words for #someone asked me earlier in the afternoon if i was through it having been a year and all #and i straight up said No I Am Still In The Thick Of It #my cousin (who lost her dad/my uncle 8ish years prior) said at the funeral reception “it doesn’t get better” #and she was right #it doesn’t get any better at all #you just get used to it #the lack of that person becomes familiar #even though your connection to them still feels active #like a phantom limb #it still feels horribly horrendously wrong that she’s gone #the world is certainly poorer in her absence #if I could offer any advice for anyone it would be to talk to your loved one(s) about this all ahead of time #don’t wait til they get sick don’t wait til they get old or whatever #start talking through it now #(certainly legally but also logistically) #unfortunately it’s a certainty that you will lose the person most important to you #or they will lose you #so don’t hide from it or put it off. it’s part of any relationship. it’s there and no one can escape it. #but yeah #right now this hurts

[mbat]

ive been bingeing the pie playlist lately and. ghost really does have to say toast is his partner every single time huh. okay fruit

#taleblr #my post #am i insane to say that- nvm i shouldnt say it. nvm i will #why are all of jordans characters kinda fruity. hello #IM SORRY #its been killing me #papa acachalla is like the least fruity though #i do mostly just think its funny to call any of the characters that cause i know it would probably piss off jordan #and i think it would be funny to make him mad #the puppet arc really does emphasize ghost and toasts whole thing though doesnt it. truly a 'you dont know what you have till its gone' #please tell me someone else sees what i see. like i know almost all of us agree about toasted ghost but. #i would like to clarify that aside from it being funny. theyre so fruity though. the characters

[iero]

Joined the Cool Kids Club (Permanent love and dedication to Edd*e Muns*n) today!

#myself #and I #Hello. This is me. #Living alone means I can’t take a picture of it without it looking awkward so you guys get mirror selfies. #‘But isn’t his tattoo on his right arm.’ ‘That’s not the correct spot-‘ Consider this: Leave me alone and let me do what I want. #I WAS gonna do it in the spot on my right arm and decided to make it a gap filler on my My Chem arm instead. #See the bats are clearly an Eddie reference but they can also be a My Chem reference too? #Unleash the bats…? Bat buckle…? Anyone following me? #So I’m not even mad putting them there at all. I actually quite like it. Looks nice and is a nice contrast to all my colorful tattoos. :) #Its so fucking funny though… #I had to think about getting my Mickey Milkovich tat for months before I decided to pull the trigger. #This one? Literally fuck it we ball. #I think I thought about getting them tatted as soon as I found a clear image of them. #Eddie was one of those characters I absolutely loved the first time I saw him though. #Literally he did that ‘MURDER!’ magazine slap down and I was gone already. #So yeah. :)

[chiropteracupola]

looking outwards to the stars

#em draws stuff #doctor who #jamie mccrimmon #local fool gains courage; tags artwork properly; does not fear the soup &c. #[pointing to self] He Has Fallen Into Madness Again #or rather has fallen into Letting His Current Self Have The Fun He Did Not Allow Himself To Have When He Was 12 #so many of the things I've gone a little silly about lately are things I was very forceful about not letting myself like when younger #and on the whole I think I am having a much more pleasant time currently! let's just have fun #despite the fact that I have been looking at so many Actual Photos I think my command of his face is not so great yet #and even though I have probably a dozen playlists of character-suitable music I only had one playlist on for the duration of this #and it was Girl Group Punk For Acts Of Violence #lots of breaks for wildly dancing around/headbanging/&c had to be taken #this is in fact a study for another drawing which got very out of hand. expect further madness tomorrow :3

[atsu-i]

.

#can I just release my anger and frustrations out? lol #sooooo an argument happened bet me and my twin #am gonna fucking tell my side okay? #today i got another appointment with an ent #and sooooo I did what i can do with chores before I leave #and okay there was supposed to be someone whose coming here today to do laundry and she is late #and my twin asked me to call someone who knows the one who did the laundry and I DID #i was getting ready and all of a sudden my twin cursed me out and got angry with me #all of a sudden #I was so confused #then since i didnt know what she was mad about i just kept quiet and then she asked me what's the number of that someone who knows the #laundry girl..she said that to me in an angry tone..i told her I already called and she coulve asked me normally about it #but she is mad and suddenly called me paranoid and all that shit? and am like where is this coming from? #she thought that the laundry girl wont make it and since am leaving for quite some time she will be the one who will do laundry #and I told her if that's whats making you mad you dont have to do it..call mom and tell her if the laundry person isny gonna come she will #find smone else and she said no if I wont do it no one will and am like ?????? but i was so frustrated atp i was yelling back madly lol #and now i realized that maybe she was mad at me coz she is left with some household chores since am gone for a while? coz of my appointment #but she still mad at me though and I also am and I dont think i can ever ever talk to her again #like seriously i thought it was just the phone call but she has all other issues with me and i dont understanf #i feel so bad and am mad and idk am just crying rn #idk if am the one in the wrong #like seriously #this is so long but idk where to dump this shit

[stargatelov3r]

i'm SO mad we didn't get a "good bye" scene for Teylabeth in adrift/lifeline. SO FUCKING MAD

i mean sure i would have preferred if there hadn't been any *need* for that buT STILL

WHERE IS MY HUG

WHERE MY FOREHEAD TOUCH

MY KISS

WHERE

#i'm having too many feelings so i came to tumblr to make it everyone else's problem #i just... i'm alREADY sad that Elizabeth is gone and then they don't even give us any kind of closer with THE ONLY FEMALE LEAD CHARACTERS?? #i mean the scene with Liz in the infirmary and Teyla in the hazmat suit is living rent free in my head #the way elizabeth leaned forward it was just... so fucking intimate even though elizabeth was furious and worried #BUT TEYLA REACHED OUT FOR HER HAND ARGGHHHHH #i think it's time for a fix it fic #i cannot accept this for fucks sake #it has been how many years since i watched sga for the first time and i'm still not over it #fucking hell #FUCK #teylabeth #elizabeth weir #sga #stargate atlantis #idk what i'm saying and if what i'm saying comes across as what i'm feeling but i'm mad #and i wish they would have given us mor #e #A HUG SPECIFICALLY #FOR FUCKS SAKE WHERE IS MY HUG

[lenjaminmacbuttons]

does anyone have any woman's relationship with her mother leads her to descend into madness movie recs

#talkyllama #I was initially kinda craving/thinking about seladon darkcrystal but I don't have that kind of time tonight #maybe just the one episode where she comes out in the skeksis dress... #nah I want a movie. like maybe hereditary? Is that kind of what hereditary is about? #We were gonna watch fire walk with me today and I know laura palmer has a) a relationship with her mother b) a descent into madness #but I don't know how crucial or direct a is to b #and I'm. in a specific mood. #My mother is an emotionally mature adult who is good at handling conflicts and processing her emotions. And I am mad about it. #so im feeling the need to watch someone else go crazy to catharsize how strongly I feel like going crazy. or like I've already gone. #anyways apparently my dad canon confirmed has seasonal affective in addition to mom's canon confirmed adhd and her family history of #bipolar disorder and whatever the heck is going on with the brains on dad's side of the family #so uh. as deeply joyous and grateful as I am to have been given the gift of life. why the hell did my mother and my father think it was a g #good idea to put their genes together #I gotta trail off here I'm gonna go draft those bomm posts I thought of this morning. legit looking for recs if anyone has some though mwah

[everysongineverykey]

Your Gaster lore breakdown (which was very good!) made me think of something: what are the chances we’ll go through a late-game area in DeltaRune that’s Gaster’s equivalent to the True Lab, with log entries on his experiments / the process of him creating the DeltaRune world? After all, the one we have from him is #17; there had to be at least 16 before that, right? Hopefully not all written in Wingdings

that is literally something i have been thinking about. it might be the bunker! that might be our late-game bunker dark world! i think it'd have like. mementoes/reminders of the secret bosses, with the entries maybe actually being videos or audio files in the style of the true lab tapes showing old conversations between him and old colleagues/friends/associates (sans? alphys? asgore? papyrus?) before he shattered, and then some different, plain english plaques or something on the walls discussing his story post-shattering and how he made deltarune. as for enemies/test subjects, it's been my belief for a while now that the goners and gaster followers used to be normal people who gaster accidentally erased from the timeline, or gonered, in his experiments, and this led him to go slightly mad in a chain of events that led to his shattering. maybe they could be the equivalents of the amalgamates! maybe they wouldn't FIGHT us, but they'd be part of weird puzzles that get us through the map or something. and at the end we meet the doctor himself!

#deltarune #see my completely baseless theory for what happened to gaster #is that he jumped into the core. i don't necessarily think it was a suicidal thing though. #maybe in part it was- eaten up by guilt for what he did to the goners and all that- #but i think mainly he'd just gone a bit mad scientist trying to solve the secrets of his universe #and knew the stuff in the core had weird properties that might give him answers #so he just went ahead and jumped in to see.