#I think the abuse is well-handled and treated like the fucked up shit that it is

[bananastarion]

Rambling headcanons about how Astarion's trauma could manifest in your relationship.

Disclaimer: I am not fetishizing trauma or PTSD here. I have C-PTSD myself, and have dated others with it as well. So some of this is (loosely) inspired by my own experiences. It's not pretty, it's not fun, but I'd say it's pretty realistic. So yeah, fair warning! Anyway, let's gooooo

Astarion isn't fazed by much, but he IS claustrophobic- having to claw your way out of your own coffin, being trapped in a mindflayer pod and being trapped in a tomb for a year straight would do that to anyone. If he is ever unfortunate enough to be stuck in a small space again, he'll go into a blind panic. He'll hyperventilate and try to force his way out any way he can, and if he can't get out in time he'll just completely mentally shut down for a bit. If you plan to pull him into a little broom closet for a sneaky fuck, just forget it ok? You will probably get your eyes accidentally clawed out.

There is a long period in your relationship where Astarion is gradually getting more comfortable with being vulnerable around you, but he's also very self-conscious about it. He doesn't want you to pity him or think he's weak. You will be tempted to give him lots of validation and praise to make up for all of the psychological abuse he endured, to reassure him that he's finally safe and free, and that you love him for more than just his body. That his problems won't ever drive you away, and that you don't judge him. He appreciates your words deeply, he wants and needs them more than he cares to admit. But at the same time, they completely overwhelm him. Finally being in a good place with a caring partner is such a stark contrast to what he's been through, that it forces him to see even deeper into the void inside him and recognize just how badly he was treated, how deprived he's been. They hit him hard in both good and bad ways, and sometimes he'll tell you to stop because he just can't handle feeling so much right now. It's best to stick to mostly surface level stuff and ease carefully into the deeper, more meaningful observations.

The sweeter your words, the more his mind races with fears that you are idealizing him and eventually you'll come to see him for what he really is- and then abandon him. Fears that he'll come to depend on your kindness only for it to be ripped away, whether by you or by circumstances beyond his control. Fears that you don't really mean it, that you're just manipulating him the way he did to others. Deep down he hopes and trusts you're sincere, but it's just so hard to accept when Cazador's voice is in his head, countering all of it. This is all so new to him, so unknown. And the unknown is terrifying. He gets frustrated that your kindness does this to him, he wants to be able to embrace your words, he's so impatient to heal and finally be over this shit already. He judges himself so harshly for still struggling with all this. Cazador's dead, he is free, he has someone who truly loves him- why isn't that enough?! Why can't he fully appreciate it, is he just going to feel broken forever? He worries he'll take too long to get over his past, and you'll get tired of it and leave. Expect to give him lots of reassurance about all of this.

He doesn't like to cry around you, but over time you will lower his guard enough that he'll stop fighting back the tears quite so much. Sometimes it's a bad dream, sometimes you say something that just hits him hard (even if it's in a good way), and sometimes he has no idea what triggered it. You tell him he can wake you up any time if he needs you, but often he chooses not to wake you and just suffers through it alone. When it happens while you're both awake, at first he would roll over and face away from you when the tears started flowing if he couldn't collect himself, and you'd just hug him from behind. But eventually he feels comfortable enough to bury his face in your chest and just let it all out. When it's really bad, he'll be trembling and hugging you so tightly as he sobs into your shirt that it's almost hard for you to breathe. The best thing you can do is just be there with him, stroke his hair, caress the tears off his cheeks. It can be dicey, but eventually you learn to read him well enough that sometimes stroking the scars on his back very gently can be healing for him. There are other times though, when this will be too much for him. Same goes for kissing. Also, don't even think about telling anyone you've seen him like this. But of course, why would you?

Don't go into therapist mode with him when he's that vulnerable, and if he decides to talk, just let him talk. Hold space for him and be there with him. Afterwards, help ground him in the present and reconnect him to his senses by pointing out things in the room, remind him that it's not all happening to him right now. Realize how special it is that he feels safe enough with you to be so vulnerable. There are times when he even breaks down during sex, and he'll say that he's fine and you can keep going, but it's for the best to stop what you're doing and check in instead. He often dissociates when he's triggered, and doesn't realize something is wrong until it's too late.

Trauma isn't always pretty, and there are times when it does strain your relationship. When he's really triggered, he might take it out on you. He'll try his best to push you away, and say terrible things he doesn't mean. Perhaps things Cazador said to him. His articulate manner of speech can be sharper than his blade when wielded against you in the heat of the moment. He doesn't believe you can love this side of him, that he is fundamentally broken and unlovable, so it's a test of sorts to prove his own fears. He doesn't necessarily realize what he's doing, he's just lashing out from a point of pure fear. Trauma is an explanation for this behavior, but not an excuse, so it's important you set very firm and consistent boundaries when he gets like this. He might not appreciate it in the moment, but he will once he calms down.

It takes some time for him to feel truly secure with you, but he's getting there. In the meantime, he's starting to get a little clingy and codependent. He's not used to having so much freedom, and doesn't always know what to do with himself when you're not around. Being in your presence is when he's closest to feeling safe and at ease, and being apart for too long can cause his mind to race, especially when he has nothing to distract himself with. It drives him crazy that it gets to him so much- he's never been dependent on anyone before, and this side of him surprises himself. He hates it, which only stresses him out more. He tries to play it off, but it's very obvious he is struggling with separation anxiety. You don't want to overindulge him, but to ease his fears you decide to get a pair of magical rings. You can make each other's rings glow whenever you want- so if Astarion is feeling lonely, he can make your ring glow and you can make his glow back. Sometimes, just that is enough to get him through a rough day without you. Once he has done some more healing, eventually he will come to enjoy his alone time in a way he's never gotten to before in his life, and as much as you enjoy spending time with him, you'll be so happy for him to finally have that.

#astarion #headcanons #baldur's gate 3 #astarion/tav

[rainylana]

“Don’t you ever let me hear you say that again.”

Eddie Munson x reader

summary: you were not the kind to show weakness. you didn’t want to be babied, but you can’t help but show up to eddie’s with a messed up, bloody face.

warnings: physical abuse, alcohol use, swearing, depictions of blood and bruising, crying, soft eddie, fluff galore, vomiting.

a/n: i know this is sad, but i’ve had a bad couple of days so here we are lmao. also, i wanted to take the time to thank everyone for all the support i’ve gotten with my writing! i appreciate every kind comment, reblog and new follow i get! you’re all so welcome and loved here! feel free to send me asks and requests!

“You’re a fucking moron, Wheeler! You cost us this campaign!” You banged your fist on the table, leaning over as you shouted profanities.

“Me?” Mike scoffed. “How did I cause our downfall? You rolled a four! A four, y/n!”

Dnd nights with the hellfire club weren’t exactly family friendly, but you had to admit, they were fun as hell. The kids were annoying, especially Mike, but they did hold a special place in your heart. Eddie, your boyfriend, sat at the head of the table, giggling and bouncing as he watched you defend yourself against the table.

You and Eddie were known as one of the most chaotic, outgoingly rambunctious couples of all Hawkins High. You became best friends in middle school when you transferred from California, and started dating your sophomore year. It was rare for you two to be apart. You were always together. Whether it was at school, hellfire night or just out on the town, you were together.

“Children, children, children,” Eddie stood dramatically, waving his ringed hands. “Never forget that it’s not about loosing, it’s about how you lose. They’re is no shame in running.”

“Oh, shut it, Munson.” You rolled your eyes, causing everyone to laugh, including him. His pearly teeth shined in giggles as you fought your smirk, collapsing back into your throne like chair.

He stretched out his arm, grabbing you by the collar and pulling you close, placing a loud, smacking kiss against your lips. You both smirked as the kids cringed at your action. Eddie was terrible when it came to pda. The man had no shame, and never gave a shit who could see when he decided to man handle you, and hell, neither did you.

“Are you coming to my place tonight?” He pulled away, whispering amongst yourselves as everyone else loudly scooted out of their chairs.

“I want to,” You sighed, fixing the collar of his jean jacket. “But I’ve been gone all weekend. You know how dad is, he’ll worry.”

Eddie nodded, offering a small smile. “Sure. No worries. I’ll just miss you, is all.”

You smiled at your lover, knowing how lucky you were to have such an amazing person by your side. Hawkins treated him unfairly, because despite his status known as “The freak metalhead”, he won the national boyfriend award every year in your mind. He was thoughtful, considerate. He treated you like goddamn royalty, even. He was the most artistic, creative person you knew. You loved him with everything you had.

Your mother had died the summer before you left California, the reason why you had moved, and your dad had never been the same since. You loved him with all your heart, but sometimes, he scared you. You hated thinking that, because he was your dad, but the alcohol scared you. It had never gotten that bad before, though, and you believed he could keep things under control. When his evenings were tough, he needed a drink. And things, lately, had been especially tough.

His job wasn’t going very well, having been docked pay and hours. Money wasn’t a strong suit in your family, one of the many reasons why Hawkins high liked to pick on you too. A lot of the time, you practically lived with Eddie. You didn’t like sleeping at your house, and usually snuck out when your dad was passed out asleep.

Eddie knew your relationship with your father was strained, so he tried to be considerate as possible, offering his support in any way he could.

You helped him clean up everyone’s mess, putting away the game pieces and throwing away trash. You two always did it alone, because usually, things got a little heated. The kids knew better than to stay. “You want me to drive you home?” Eddie cleared his throat, pushing the last chair in. “Those brakes of yours make me nervous.”

You smiled as you turned, wiping your dirty hands together. “I’ll be okay. I’ll call you in the morning, k?”

He nodded as he watched you grab your bag, rolling his toothpick between his teeth. He gulped, feeling almost nervous about you leaving. But that was Eddie. He was always nervous for you to go home, because he knew how stressful the environment was for you. You chalked it all up with a brave face, pretended it didn’t get to you. He could read you, though. On mornings he picked you up for school, he could tell just by looking at you if the night had been difficult.

You walked over close to him, smirking at his sure sign of anxiety. He would always roll a stupid tooth pick. “Don’t worry about me, Ed’s. I’ll be fine. I’m sure he’s asleep by now.” You grabbed his chin, watching as his brown eyes bore into yours. “Now, are you going to kiss me goodnight, or what?”

He smirked softly, loosely wrapping his left arm around your neck, pulling you to his lips. You sighed into the kiss, his lips warm against your own, noses scrunching against each other’s. You placed your hand on his shoulder, fisting his jacket. You felt that familiar bulk of sadness build up in your chest, but you knew you had to fight it. You loved your dad, but you hated going home. You wanted to stay with Eddie, but you knew you had to go.

You pulled away from his lips, but only to bring your body his. You wrapped your arms warmly around his back, his scent buried into your chest. His arms wound tightly around yours, his head placed alongside yours. Hugs like these made him realize you were stalling to leave, he knew tonight would be difficult for you, but he long since gave up trying to convince you to move in with him actually. You were too stubborn, and liked to pretend everything was okay.

“You okay?” He mumbled, his hand moving softly at your lower back. You nodded against him, muttering a weak ‘yes’.”

You eventually pulled away, and you both smiled at each other. He gave your hand a squeeze, holding it until you walked away and broke the contact. He watched as you pushed open the basement door, and he sighed. Hopefully tonight would be okay.

•

Your breath punched it’s way out of your lungs so loudly, it created clouds in front of you. Your heart hammered so quickly, it barely made you capable of walking. Sobs cracked their way through your throat, making hoarse burns that caused you to wince. Your feet dragged along the ground, your hand holding your stomach to keep from throwing up.

The stale taste of iron filled your mouth, and though you weren’t aware of it, also dripped down your forehead. So, to some it up, no, the night had not gone well.

You weren’t even sure all of what had happened. He’d been asleep, your dad, just like you had suspected. You were nearly asleep, until you heard the loud crashing coming from downstairs. You kept telling yourself over and over to stay up stairs. Stay in bed. It’s not worth it. But you didn’t listen to yourself. You went, and you payed for it.

Your mind was in a total state of shock and disbelief, not being to handle nor process what had happened. You weren’t even able to defend yourself. It had happened so quickly, so suddenly that you barely had time to react, only your muffled screams and cries being heard. A part of you wondered if it was even your dad, maybe it was just someone who looked like him? You highly doubted it.

He had been completely hammered, as per usual, and when you tried to calm him down, your face was met with his fist, your ribs shoved into the side of a table, your throat marked with dark, purple fingerprints. Blood nearly coated your face, making you seem like an entirely different person. You were certain he was going to kill you, but it seemed like he was just bored with you.

He left you to lay there, sobbing and shaking like a traumatized animal. Eventually, you’d mustered up the strength to get up, and that led to now. You should have called the police or the nearest emergency room, but the only thing your mind screamed was Eddie. You tried so hard to keep the boy from worrying about you. You tried so hard to pretend your life wasn’t nearly falling apart.

But now, you didn’t know what to do. You were just wandering, and all you wanted was Eddie. You were in so much pain, your entire body ached and throbbed. It took nearly a half hour until you got to the trailer park, and you flinched as the loud dogs barked at your presence. You sobbed in relief at the sight of his trailer, happy to see his uncle wasn’t there. You loved him dearly, but the last thing you wanted was an audience.

Usually, you would have felt hesitant for his help. You never liked for him to see you cry, because you could see in his face how much it would affect him. Your pain caused his. But, you were running on adrenaline now, you weren’t crying anymore, only bloody and bruised. Eddie had no idea what was coming.

You didn’t bother to knock, and you used your shoulder to push open the door. “Eddie?” You tripped inside, voice cracking. “Eddie?”

You saw his bouncy, black curls first, the shine of his rings that flared in the orange tinted light of the kitchen. “Eddie.” You stumbled, sobbing dryly when you saw him.

“Y/n?” He rushed out at the weak sound of your voice. “Holy- oh, shit, what happened!” His face dropped completely, running to you and grasping your shoulders.

You opened your mouth to speak, but your throat filled with cotton. You shook your head, your eyes blurring together as he grabbed your face. “Y/n, talk to me! Talk to me! Who hurt you?”

It was starting to catch up to you, everything that had happened, and your mind seemed to go blank. Your vision blurred and it was harder to see, his words became harder to hear and make out. Your breathing slowed, and your head spun. You were finally in his presence, the only person in the world that you felt comfortable to let go around. So you did.

Your knees buckled and smacked against the floor, and the rough, burning pain of bile scorched it’s way out of your throat and onto the floor. Your chest heaved and hyperventilated, and you could barely hear Eddie beside you.

“Okay, it’s okay.” His voice nearly shook at how scared he was, holding your waist as he took in your form. The blood on you was cracked and dried into your skin, the bruised turning into a dark purple. He was trying his damnest to not loose his cool, but you weren’t complying with him.

You dry heaved one last time as you coughed, your senses coming back to. The pain in your ribs was too intense to be able to hide your tears, and you let out a painful, noisy sob as you tried to lift yourself up. “Y/n, please, what’s going on? You’re scaring me, talk to me! Who did-”

“Dad.” You sobbed, grabbing at his chest for support.

That was all it you needed to say, and you watched as the color from his face dropped, his brown eyes sinking as he took in your broken face. You looked down, breaking down in tears as you hiccuped. “I don’t- I don’t know w-what happened.” You shook. “Eddie, I don’t- I don’t understand, I can’t-”

“It’s okay, shh.” His face went back to that loving, passionate gleam that you fell in love with. He was fighting every instinct to go to your house and kill your father, to knock him on his ass and make him pay. He too, was in shock, because you looked terrible. But he couldn’t, because you needed him. You were freaking out, and he needed to clean you up.

“Shh, honey, it’s alright,” He reassured you, gathering your close so he could view your injuries. “Calm down, I- shit, y/n, tell me what hurts? Should we go to the hospital, I-”

“No!” You pulled away, standing up. “No, I can’t! Nobody can know a-about this! Dad- he, he didn’t mean it!” You flailed your hands, and he approached you slowly.

“Okay, okay, just-” He swallowed roughly, feeling powerless. “You need to sit down, baby. You’re bleeding, just..sit down, alright?”

He guided you sit down on the couch behind you, watching you like you were a wounded animal ready to pounce for it’s last fight. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He kissed your head softly, rushing into the bathroom and opening every drawer he found.

Your hands shook in your lap, and you felt the back of your head with your shaking hand. Blood stained your fingertips, and you let out a cry. One by one, sobs began pouring their way out of your throat. You hunched over, your cries sounding hoarse and nasally from the bruises on your throat.

Eddie crouched down below you, his eyes glancing up at you as you cried. He lifted your chin up, bringing a wet washcloth to your bloodied cheekbones. His other hand rested on your knee, and he tried his best to concentrate on cleaning you up. “It’s my fault.” You finally spoke, making him flinch with your sharp sob.

“What?” He narrowed his eyes, bringing the rag down.

“I shouldn’t-” You choked on your sob, grabbing at his wrist. “I shouldn’t have gotten up. I should of just- I should of j-just ignored it. I pushed him it’s m-my fault.” You cried.

His face hardened at your words, and he sat taller, grabbing your face. “Don’t you ever let me hear you say that again.” He shook his head.

“You listen to me and you listen good, this is not your fault, you hear me?” He lifted your chin, wiping away a stray tear. “This is not your fault, sweetheart.”

He stood, moving to sit beside you. He pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you softly, careful not to hurt you. You cried into him, hiccuping into the material of his shirt. “I won’t let him hurt you again, I swear it.”

He held you throughout the night, taking care of you gently and lovingly. And he was right, because he’d never let him hurt you again.

#eddie munson imagines #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson #joseph quinn #stranger things season four #stranger things

[dumbbitchenergy17]

Where the Wild Things Are - Chapter 4

Chapter Four: Snow Angel

Plot: Wild men or monstrous infected creatures, the world is wild and ravaged by Cordecyps but some are raised in it and flourish becoming a wild thing.

Word Count: 4.7K

Pairing: Joel Miller x Platonic!Teen!Reader, Ellie Williams x Platonic!Reader

Warnings: canon-typical fighting/violence, injuries, harsh language, tw: violence/abuse towards minors and unwanted comments from men

—————

I'll make it through the winter if it kills me. I can make it faster if I hurry. I'll angel in the snow until I'm worthy. But if it kills me, I tried

Tension is thick and heavy in the Miller home as Joel steps away from the door his failed attempt to open it with it locked before he hears something being pushed in front of it. He had seen the panic in your eyes, and he knew it wasn’t from the fight you were in. The older man looks over seeing his child and her friend standing where you once stood before you took off. “Joel.” She starts but he’s turning away moving to the kitchen,

“I don’t wanna hear it.” Ellie follows after him Dina trailing behind,

“No fucking listen to me. That wasn’t her fault you hear me!” Ellie points outside defending you and Joel places his hands on the counter.

“She broke a kid’s arm. Almost beat Seth’s kid to death if we didn’t show up. How is that not her fault?!” He yells as Ellie glares at him.

“She was fucking protecting us!” Ellie yells back, “They were harassing Dina, and when I tried stepping in they started messing with me. I didn’t think she’d beat the shit out of them, but she was protecting us.” Ellie explains and Joel looks over at Dina who nods anxiously being in the very tense home. The door slams open and Tommy quickly enters the kitchen.

“This is fucking great! Jesus Christ,” Tommy says gripping his hair as he kicks a chair that slides away from him, “Half the council wants her out, but the other part knows the raiders are gonna find Jackson because of her.” Tommy hisses.

“What the hell was that girl thinking?” Tommy says as Joel shakes his head leaning against the counter.

“Girls said she was protecting them,” Joel says gesturing to the girls who nod frantically.

“Ellie tried protecting me from Derek and the boys but they wouldn’t stop, when they brought up Ellie’s parents, she just jumped in. We didn’t expect it to go that far,” Dina explains as Tommy listens to her story,

“Those fuckers started all of this by bothering Dina.” Ellie spats and Joel gives her a look at her language. Tommy sighs pinching his nose, “I’ll talk to Maria and she’ll talk to the boys to get them to fess up but I gotta talk to the kid, she can’t do this if she wants to stay.” Tommy moves to your room twisting the handle not feeling it budge before knocking on it,

“Kid, it’s Tommy can you let me in?” He calls out only to get silence. “She barricaded herself in there,” Joel comments and his brother lets out a curse knocking his fist to the wall.

“Okay just keep me posted when she comes out, I gotta go let Maria know about all of this. Dina, you better head off as well.” Tommy says and the younger girl nods bidding her goodbyes while Joel leads Tommy to the porch, “Christ Joel I don’t know what the hell to do with that girl. Is she better out there than here safe with people?”

Joel is silent, he thought he and Ellie had a rough transition when they arrived in Jackson. A harsh attitude towards everyone but at least he had Tommy to help adjust then Ellie had gotten those friends. You had no one, you were brought here then kept locked up like an animal for almost a month to be brought out and just assumed to assimilate instantly. He felt a bit of guilt with how he treated you. You were only a kid from what Ellie told him you were only two years older than the girl. He felt torn in two, one was the fearful side of what he knew could do, but the other side he thought had died many years ago but was brought back by the sixteen-year-old girl. The one that wanted to protect and keep you safe, that paternal feeling that he felt towards Ellie but he was confused why he felt it so deeply towards you. So he covered it with anger and ruthlessness with curses and insults thrown your way only for you to return it.

“Tommy, you go figure that stuff out, I’ll keep you updated.” He pats his brother's shoulder and nods heading off his porch and heading back towards the main street. The day moves too quickly as the streetlights begin to turn on with the sunset. Joel turns back inside finding the young girl sitting against your door with a sad look on her face. His heart aches to see his surrogate daughter upset and knows he had a factor in it.

“Come on kid,” He calls out to Ellie as she looks up at him, “Get some rest you had a long day.” Joel watches the girl pull herself to her feet silently moving past him climbing the stairs slowly completely not Ellie-like and this only makes him feel worse. Joel sighs moving to the kitchen his hand grabs the glass and amber liquid before pausing and putting it away and the glass in the sink and moving to make himself a cup of coffee.

You were frozen as you sat in the corner of the dark room, outside was quiet and the house was silent as well. Slowly moving to stand your face aches in pain same with your bloody knuckles. You were only making things worse here, people were only to get hurt because of you. Looking in the boxes you find an old tattered backpack and you start shoving some clothes in the bag. You would worry about food and supplies later. You would head back to the cabin and get stuff then leave. Head north as you planned, go to Canada, and live there away from everyone. Grabbing a shirt and ripening it into strips wrapping them around your knuckles the fabric already soaking the blood using another piece pressing it against your lip hissing in pain from the split skin. You move to the door cringing at the loud noise the dresser produces as it scratches against the wood floors and you pause trying to listen for anything before you open the door and enter the dark hallway. It was dark but you knew all you had to do was walk forward and you’d reach the door and you’d be outside. Your footsteps are silent listening for any movements from anywhere in the house as you pass the opening to the living room.

“What are you doing kid,” A voice calls out making you freeze you look over spotting a shadowy figure and you see an arm move before light fills the room from the small lamp on the table next to him. Joel sat a mug in his hand no longer a glass of amber, was he waiting for you? “Where are you going?” He asks and you tighten your grip on the backpack strap.

“I’m leaving. You’re right I’m a problem here..I’d rather take my chances with the raiders.” You say turning to grab the door handle.

“Stop it, kid.” He stops you once again your hand on the handle, “Listen…shit...I’m... I’m sorry.” He says and your hand falls from the door as you turn to face the man who looks quite anxious under your gaze unlikely the times he looked so intimidating. “You shouldn’t be forced to make these kinds of decisions and I shouldn’t have treated you like an adult when you are a kid.”

“I’m eighteen.” You retort and he gives you a look before continuing, “You were brought here to just be locked up and then forced to act normal around people you just met. You reacted a whole lot better than I would’ve.” He says and you give him a look.

“I broke one guy’s arm and some guy’s face, how is that a whole lot better.” You say and his look darker slightly, “I probably would have killed the guys.” The room grows silent at his confession as he looks over you.

“What I’m trying to say is you weren’t given time to adjust and your actions are justified,” Joel says and you slowly nod, “So if you’re going to leave I won’t stop you, but you won’t be safe out there I can tell you that. But if you decide to stay you’ll be protected here I promise you that.” He brings the mug to his lips taking a sip as silence once more fills the room as you are torn between two places. You were more in your element out there where it was ruthless and chaotic, here it was normal though you never knew of normal, it was like the outbreak never happened here. Families could live and grow, and children wouldn’t be in fear of Fedra or infected attacking anyone. It was protected and that was something you’ve never experienced before. You protected yourself but you’ve never once in your life been protected by others. The rational part of your mind tells you to leave, you knew what you were doing. You survived eighteen years of your life without the help of others but the irrational part is the one that looks at the calm man before you. The older man who urges you to stay and be safe…to be a kid again. That part of your mind that wants that normalcy, to have friends, to not fight every day to survive, to be taken care of due to the lack you received as a child. You stare at the door handle in front of you calling for you to leave but the backpack slides off your shoulder hitting the floor and Joel lets out a small sigh of relief.

“This doesn’t make us friends or whatever…you or your family,” Your voice cold that thick boundary place and he watches the small glimpse of you disappear replaced by the girl from outside the walls. The one that murdered a group of raiders alone and only cared about herself and her survival, “I don’t need any of you.”

He doesn’t get to answer as you turn to head back to your room the door closing behind leaving him alone. Joel thinks of the event that led all of them here. Would things have been different if they left you in that cabin or if Tommy or Jesse never met you? You both would have lived in your separate worlds maybe at one point in time met but it would have been as enemies. Either them putting a bullet in your head or you get them first. The tough-hitting thoughts create a pain in his head and he sighs finishing up the drink before retreating to his room. He pauses at the foot of the stairs looking down the hall to where you rest before he heads upstairs to try and get some sleep.

It was weird sleeping in a bed after weeks of being in that cell with that concrete bed. It was too soft and you sank into the mattress. You did feel much warmer under the thick blankets, unlike the single thin and scratchy blanket in the cell. The sunlight woke you up hitting you directly in the eye, you grimace feeling the dry blood on your face and your hands. Looking around the room and finding the bag you packed last night resting on the dresser you knew you hadn’t brought it back here. You open the pack and grab some clothes before you exit the room. It’s relatively quiet as you enter the bathroom that’s right across from your room glad you didn’t have to go upstairs. It seemed stocked up as you stripped jumping into the shower. It took you a second to figure out the mechanics almost shouting from the sudden cold water that drenched you but it soon became warm and you quickly accepted. You lather your hair in the shampoo and conditioner as you clean the rest of your body, the water once clear runs red with the blood you had to scrub off your body. Once done you dress and find a brush getting all the tangles and knots out of your hair letting it rest naturally wet against your neck. The bathroom seemed stocked with everything you would need some items you’ve never seen before or hadn’t had quite the luxury of having. You never were more grateful for a stick of deodorant enjoying the fresh scent of it plus the soap. Leaving the bathroom happy with the fresh feeling when you hear voices coming from down the hall in the living room.

“So she tried leaving?” You hear Tommy’s voice and the hum of another man. “Thought it would be easy for all of us. Think she’s still sleeping.” Joel’s voice calls out as you slowly creep down the hall looking through the doorway that enters the kitchen giving a clear view of the connecting kitchen and living room. Joel and Tommy sit on the couches in both men's hands a mug and you can see the steam coming off them.

“I’m glad you convinced her to stay,” Tommy says taking a sip of his drink, “You know she kinda reminds me of you. Not sure if that’s a good thing, you are a pain in my ass.” He says and Joel glares at him as Tommy cracks a grin. You don’t listen to more as you hear someone you assume Ellie come bounding down the stairs and you quickly retreat into your room as the conversation with the new edition becomes muffled. It was drawing near the time for breakfast at the mess hall, Ellie getting her shoes on as he made his way to the room at the end of the hall. Knocking before giving it a second before he enters. You sit on the edge of the bed, wrapping strips of fabric around your knuckles.

“We have bandages if you need them,” Joel comments on the homemade wrappings but you shake your head moving to wrap your other fist.

“I don’t need that.” You remark and the adult watches you struggle slightly to wrap it around your non-dominant hand. “Here let me hel-” He moves forward to grab your hand and you pull your hand back with a sharp look.

“I can do it.” You hiss and Joel takes a step back watching you slowly restart but after two failed tries he moves forward ignoring your protest grabbing the wrapping and doing it with ease around your knuckles. Glancing briefly up at you seeing you looking away your other hand digging into your pant leg your foot fidgeting. Finishing with the wrapping spotting a discoloration on your skin on your forearm but you quickly pull down your sleeve past your wrist.

“All done…” Joel says standing back up and you seem to relax the tension in your shoulders when he creates distance, “It’s close to breakfast so start getting ready.”

“You don’t need to make me breakfast,” You murmur fixing your sleeves on both arms, “I can do it myself.”

“Well we ain’t having breakfast here so get your shoes and coat,” Joel says and you stand up hearing this news. You didn’t want to go out there and see all of them. You rather be holed up in here until you could leave this place. “I’m not going.” You cross your arms and Joel throws you a look.

“That isn’t your decision, Tommy and Maria said you have to be there,” Joel says slowly growing frustrated mirroring your pose. They weren’t allowed to make those decisions they didn’t fucking own you. “Well, you can tell Maria and Tommy to fuck off.” You spit and Joel steps forward and you are ready for the screaming match.

“Hey!” “Joel!” The young voice of Ellie pops into the room hanging onto the doorframe looking between the two of you, “Hey! You joining us for breakfast?” Ellie says a look of excitement on her face.

“No.” “Yes.” You and Joel both speak at the same time glares thrown at each other.

“Great! Tommy and Maria are waiting outside.” Ellie takes Joel’s answer before she heads outside leaving the two of you. Joel and you stare at each other waiting for the other to break and it pisses you off seeing the lack of remorse or patience for you. Grabbing your coat and shoes from the end of your bed heading to the door not before slamming your shoulder into Joel’s.

“Little shit..” He whispers under his breath as he heads out to the entranceway spotting you finishing the laces on your boots before throwing the door open and heading outside.

“Finally. Hurry up I’m fucking starving.” Ellie calls out from the steps of the porch and you spot further behind her Maria and Tommy. You stiffen seeing the small child in the woman’s arm looking at you innocently. It made you uncomfortable seeing her hold that child so gently and with a small smile on her face in the presence of that infant. You felt sick.

“Glad to see you kid,” Tommy greets you as you keep staring at his child with wary eyes. He clears his throat getting your attention, “When we get to the mess hall you’re going to have to see Derek and the boys. I want you to apologize to them.”

“I’m not doing shit. They fucking started it! Why the hell should I apologize.” You scoff and the three adults give you a look.

“Look Derek is Seth’s son he runs the mess hall and the Tipsy Bison, just be the bigger person please,” Tommy pleads and you roll your eyes starting the unfortunate trip through the streets of Jackson. You walked between Tommy and Ellie your hands shoved in your pockets a bitter look on your face.

“They should fucking apologize to me for being dickbags.” You sneer, “Hey language.” The three adults say as you reach the main street. Burning eyes of people milling on the streets watching the girl that has been trouble since coming here. You see a group of older women standing together whispering to each other and glancing back at you.

“The fuck you starin' at?” You call out to them and they all give appalled looks as you walk past them Joel sighs and Tommy groans apologizing to the women on your behalf.

“What did I just say…” Tommy says and you glare at him, “You said to apologize to dickwads not the group of hags gossiping.” You spit and the man groans trying to prepare himself for when they reach the mess hall. You barred your teeth at people snarling at kids who looked at you run leaving before scared adults and some crying children.

“Jesus, you got half of Jackson either pissing their pants or running to their mothers,” Ellie comments seeing you death glare at two men who stare at you for too long for your liking.

“Just get to the damn hall,” Joel says sighing already fatigued by the trip here and how much of an impression you were doing for yourself. The hall was slowly filling with people coming for that morning rush. People get out of your way as the six of you enter, the friendly atmosphere dropping as they see you standing in the doorway. Finding a table you shove yourself in a seat far in the corner away from the glaring eyes of people. Ellie sits beside you followed by Joel, Tommy across from you, Maria next to him, and their son sitting in the woman’s lap. Tommy seems to scan the room before spotting what he wanted to find and turns back to you seeing you picking at the wood of the table.

“Stop that. Alright, Derek and the boys are over there I want you to go over and apologize. Keep it sweet and simple, avoid the language, a simple ‘I’m sorry’ and you’re fine.” Tommy points over to the table on the other side of the mess hall as you follow his finger before you spot them. Derek’s face is bruised with bandages on sections of his face, another one of them has their arm in a sling and a large split in their lip, and the other one has a fat bruise across his cheek. They looked like they got their ass handed to them, while you walked away with a cut on your temple, a split lip, and bruised knuckles.

“They looked fucked up,” You comment a small curl of your lip happy with the damage you did. They fucking deserved it for what they did. “Hey!” Tommy snaps his fingers drawing your attention back.

“Go over and apologize. We’ll grab food afterward. Just be yourself.” He says and you give him and look, “Actually be the opposite of yourself.” You scowl at him as he waits for you to move and you groan standing as your chair scrapes back shoving your hands in your pocket.

“Ellie make sure she doesn’t just insult them,” Joel says and the young girl nods standing joining you and you look at Tommy. Did you have to do this? The impatient look has you tilting your head back with a groan before you trudge your way across the room. You could feel the people’s gaze tracing after you their conversations growing quiet when you passed by them. Reaching the table you see the injured boys notice your presence as their conversation grows quiet as you stand before them Ellie a few feet away. Your attention was less focused on the others but mainly on Derek as he was apparently the guy who runs this place’s son.

“I…” Your hands curl up into fists as the words feel like lead in your mouth as you force them out, “I wanted to…apologize for my actions…it…it was wrong to hurt you.” You grit the words and you see the pleasure on Derek’s face knowing you were forced to say those words. Derek leans forward a smirk on his face, “And..” You feel your blood boil as your nails dig into your palms. It took everything in you to not grab his ugly mug and slam it into the table.

“And…I’m…I’m sorry.” The words grit through your teeth and he nods as he brings a hand to his chin.

“Sorry speak up, I didn’t hear what you said.” He holds a hand to his ear as the two idiots chuckle beside him enjoying the anger and the embarrassment on your face for having to apologize to them when you both knew you were justified to whoop their fucking asses.

“I’m…” “Speak up still can’t hear you.” Derek says and the boys chortle your nails digging deep into your palm, “I’m sorry.” You articulate the venom clearly in your tone as you’re forced to look at him as he takes in your words. You turn ready to head back to your table when he speaks up.

“Why don’t you come to the back and you can really show me how sorry you are.” He says smugly and you hear the snickers coming from his friends at what he was insinuating. You freeze and your eyes meet Ellie she couldn’t hear exactly what was said but saw the anger deep in your eyes before they moved to the table across the room with the adults watching the situation. Your gaze meets Tommy and his face morphs realizing what you’re about to do as the boy behind you speaks up, “Come up I’ll be sure to put that mouth to wor-” His head snaps back a large crack filling the air and you welcomed the pain in your already injured knuckles and seeing the blood freely falling from his rebroken nose.

“Eat shit.” You hiss quickly heading for the exit leaving the commotion behind you as the hall is quickly filled with shouting. Good job being the opposite of yourself.

Your back pressed against the boxes in your room as you sat in the corner. It felt like the only place you could hide and avoid the fight you knew was to come. You hear the door open and the heavy footsteps followed by the lighter ones but the heavy ones move towards your room. Joel opens the door at first not seeing you before spotting the tips of your shoes peeking from behind the tower of boxes. Moving until he sees you sitting against the wall your knees to your chest as you flex and unflex the hand you used to punch Derek.

“What the hell was that? What happened to apologizing and leaving.” Joel says crouching down to your level as your gaze is glued to the wall in front of you as you focus on the blood soaking the ‘bandages’, “Are you listening to me?”

“He wanted me to suck his dick.” You mumble and Joel grows silent sure he misheard you, “What?” He says and you don’t even glance at him, the lack of emotion in your voice as you sit huddled in the corner away from view.

“He said he wanted me to come to the back to show how ‘sorry’ I was. He was sure to put my mouth to-” “Stop.” Joel cuts you off before you can finish he feels disgusted hearing what was spoken to you. He wanted to go back to that mess hall and beat the crap out of that punk if that’s what he thinks about treating women. But the rational adult part knew that wasn’t the reason they brought you over to apologize.

“I’m sorry he said that. No man should talk to a lady like that.” Joel says and you scoff finally making eye contact with him though very briefly, “Like I’m a lady. Besides I’ve dealt with worse than some limp-dick teen.” He couldn’t help his mind run with slight concern, what was worse than what happened together that made this incident now insignificant? Joel stands looking down at the girl who continues to stare at the wall. It was moments he felt like two different people were in you; One was a ruthless girl who killed multiple adults twice your size and beat up three teens on her own, but the other was this timid girl who hid in corners and avoided care or help and was an insecure shell of a person.

“I think it’s best if you avoid the mess hall. Let this all simmer, I’m sure we have some leftovers to eat.” Joel says and you hum absentmindedly your gaze staring at the wallpaper that was beginning to peel in the corner. Joel looks at you one last time before retreating from your room finding the other Millers waiting on the couch for the information. Tommy felt like he was going to gain grey hairs too early from how much stress you put him through. The other brother sits up seeing the other enter the room seeing the exhausted look on his face as he rubs a hand on his beard.

“So what did she say, 'cause I don’t think Seth is going to accept a second time of her assaulting his son,” Tommy says as Joel leans against the wall rubbing the back of his neck nervously. He peeks around the corner trying to spot the younger girl who retreated upstairs to her room before turning to the couple.

“The kid…he had suggested some inappropriate actions as a form of forgiveness.” He felt sick saying it trying to be as PG as possible with the presence of the two-year-old in Maria’s arms. The looks of disgust and horror are clear on the two parents' faces as Tommy sighs pushing his hair back and Maria looks furious her motherly instincts reacting.

“I’ll speak to the council, though she shouldn’t have laid her hands on him. We don’t excuse harassment of any kind. Derek will be punished accordingly,” Maria says, and both brothers nod, “But so will Y/n for today and yesterday. Tommy and I spoke about this last night I think it’s best we get her to do some work for the community. It will keep her preoccupied instead of cooped up here, but for the safety of others until she grows more comfortable around others probably a job away that can be more secluded.” She explains and Joel nods. Ellie had her classes to keep her busy and if not if was hanging out with her friends. You technically didn’t need school so giving you work would keep you busy.

“What did you have in mind?”

#the last of us #tlou fanfiction #joel miller x teen!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller #ellie williams x platonic!reader #ellie williams x teen!reader #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #tommy miller x platonic!reader #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Midnight | Chapter 17 | S.R

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Chapter Summary - Luke arrives in Crested Butte and meets some locals. Spencer has his own problems to deal with.

Pairing - unsub! Spencer Reid / Fem! Reader

Category - dark angst | smut | very eventual happy ending

Warnings - drinking, brief mentions of sex, swearing, bribery, false allegations, sexual abuse. WC - 5.8k

Chapter 17 - Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

You didn’t remember much about returning to the cabin last night as upon arriving back in Butte you and Spencer had indulged in one two many drinks at The Eldo before finally stumbling home well after midnight. 

Judging by the fact your body was sore and you were naked, you’d probably had sex more than once and your head was throbbing when you opened your eyes, but you felt at peace. 

Spencer stirred next to you, pulling you closer to his body and kissing your messy hair. 

“I swore I’d never drink that much again.” He grumbled. 

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a freight train.” You agreed. 

“I think that was more my fault than the alcohol. I’m fairly certain we had sex at least five times. And from memory it got pretty rough.” He pulled you even closer. 

“Worth it.” You smiled sleepily, resting your head on his chest. “I feel like shit, but I also feel on top of the fucking world.”

“Hmm, me too.” He agreed, nuzzling his face against your head. 

“Don’t get excited, I don’t think my body can handle anymore sex right now.” 

“Trust me when I say I don’t even think I have the energy to get it up.” He chuckled. 

“That is music to my ears right now.” You giggled. 

“Give it time, I’m sure there’s only so long I can lay next to a beautiful, naked woman before it happens of its own accord.” 

“Fair enough.” You giggled again. “I can handle that. But I never want to drink again in my life.” 

“Agreed.” Spencer exhaled before adding. “You know, until next time.” 

You snuggled into him, wrapping your arm around his waist and slinging one leg over his. In that moment you felt invincible. 

***

McGill’s Diner on Elk Avenue had a traffic camera positioned between the ground and first floor windows, capturing every car that passed by. It was the same camera that had witnessed the little blue Nissan purchased by Andrew Burnett in Franklin County, Virginia, drive up and down the street multiple times over the last week. 

With no better place to start, Luke parked up at the curb and headed inside. He was under strict instructions from Prentiss that he was to not treat this like a federal investigation, they had no idea what they were dealing with and they didn’t want to alert the townsfolk to FBI presence. He was simply a concerned friend. 

To stave off temptation, he left his creds in the hire vehicle he’d driven the forty minutes from Gunnison-Crested Butte Regional Airport. He did however keep his firearm visible in his holster on his hip. 

A little bell chimed above the door as he entered the diner. It was late enough that the breakfast rush was over and early enough for the lunchtime crowd not to have surfaced yet so it was reasonably quiet. There was an older couple in a booth over the back and a younger man and woman sitting at the counter. 

Luke made his way over to where a guy around your age was fixing a pot of coffee behind the counter. He looked up when he heard Luke approached and offered him a friendly smile. He wore a green flannel shirt over a black tee which had some kind of stain down it. 

“Hi there,” he put down the coffee pot and gave Luke his full attention. “Can I get you a table?” 

“No, thanks. I’m actually looking for some people. My friends, I think they might be here.” Luke dove straight in. 

“Sure, I might be able to help. Most people come through here even if they're just in town for a day or two. Our coffee is pretty good.” 

“Is this your place?” 

“No, my dads.” The man wiped his hand on his jeans before extending it towards Luke. “Jesse McGill.”

“Luke Alvez.” Luke shook his hand. “So like I said, I’m looking for my friends. Rose and Andrew Burnett. I can show you pictures if you like?” 

“No, that’s ok.” Jesse rolled his lip between his teeth. “I know them. Well, I know her better than him, never really spoken to him but I’ve seen him around.” 

“They still in town?” Luke asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Uh, I guess so. Haven’t seen them for a few days so I can’t be sure. People come and go, you know? This place is a bit of a tourist trap.” Jesse shrugged.

“A ski resort isn’t much of a tourist trap in spring time.” Luke narrowed his eyes on Jesse, feeling as though the man was hiding something from him. “You know where they’re staying?”

Jesse straightened his back, running a hand through his thick beard while he contemplated how to answer that. Luke could tell he knew exactly where they were staying but for whatever reason, didn’t want to share the information. He knew all it would take to get it out of him would be to flash his FBI badge, but of course Prentiss had ordered him not to.

Jesse was mulling over what you’d told him the other night about Rose not being your real name and not really being married and now a stranger had shown up looking for you, that couldn’t be good.  

Something happened and we had to leave our jobs, our homes, that’s what you’d said to him. Were you running from someone, someone like this man in front of him? He didn’t want to risk your safety or betray your trust. He didn’t get a good vibe from this Luke Alvez character.

“No, sorry I don’t.” He shrugged again. “Like I say, haven’t seen them in a few days, they may have already left town.”

Luke wasn’t buying any of this. Jesse knew exactly where you and Spencer were but he wasn’t going to tell Luke. Why, Luke didn’t know, but without his FBI creds to back him up he knew he wasn’t going to get much further. Maybe he’d reassess, call Prentiss and tell her that no one was talking to him and he needed some authority on his side. 

“Well, you also said most people come through here right? So I’ll take that table now and a cup of that coffee and I’ll wait.” Luke smiled smugly at him and subtly put his hands on his hips to draw attention to his firearm. 

Jesse glanced down at it and the fear he’d felt for your safety only doubled. What the hell kind of trouble were you in and how could he alert you to it without arousing suspicion? For now he nodded, motioning Luke towards a table and following him over with the pot of coffee. He left him alone after that but kept a watchful eye over the stranger in his diner.

Luke pulled out his phone and texted Prentiss to let her know that he’d arrived in the Butte but hadn’t had much luck yet. He sipped the coffee, which he couldn’t deny was pretty incredible and stared at the door as if it would magically open and you would stroll in. 

He was only sitting there for about a minute before a young girl with bright red hair who had been sitting at the counter slid into the booth opposite him. She had a curious look in her large green eyes as she leant on the table with her elbows.

“I know Andrew Burnett pretty well.” She cut to the chase.

“Really?” Luke cocked his eyebrow at her. 

“We hooked up a few times.” She shrugged, her words causing Luke to pull a face.

“You and S…Andrew?” 

“Yep.” 

“How old are you?” Luke’s brow furrowed heavily, thinking there was no way Spencer would sleep with this girl. 

“Twenty seven.” She sat straight and puffed out her chest but Luke’s disbelieving look caused her to huff. “Fine, I’m twenty two.” 

“Yeah, uh, no offence but I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t sleep with a twenty two year old.” Luke clucked. 

“Well, he did. More than once.” She smirked smugly. “I promised I wouldn’t say anything because of his little wifey, but he couldn’t keep his hands off of me.” 

“Wifey as in Rose?” 

“Uh huh, between you and me she seems kinda like a stick in the mud.” 

“That stick in the mud is my friend.” Luke scowled at her. 

“Don’t get me wrong, he’s no better. She might be boring but he has some anger issues.” She picked at one of her nails.

“Anger issues?” Luke frowned, it wasn’t the first time someone had inferred that about Spencer recently.

“Yep. I think he controls Rose, she always seems a little timid round him. And then there was the time he practically threw me against a wall.” 

“He…are you sure?” Luke was frowning so hard he felt a headache pinching at his temples. 

“Yeah that’s not the kind of thing you forget. He couldn’t keep it up, tried to blame me for it. So I told him he probably couldn’t keep it up because he was old…no offence.” 

“None taken.” Luke pulled a face.

“Anyway so he just freaks, gets me up against the wall and yells in my face and I swear he’s going to hurt me.” She finished with a shake of her head.

“Did he?” 

“No, but I think he wanted to.” 

Luke pulled out his phone and got up a photograph of Spencer which he turned to show the girl. 

“Is this the man you’re talking about?” 

“Yep, that’s him.” She nodded. “You say you know him, you must know what he’s like.” 

“Yeah, see that’s the thing, I don’t know him to be an angry or violent man. So what I’m wondering is maybe you had a little crush on him and he rebuffed you and so you’re making up stories to tarnish him and make yourself feel better.” Luke picked up the coffee mug and lifted it to his lips.

“I’m not five.” She spat. “I know what happened. I was just trying to help but if you don’t need-”

“Ok, Mary, that’s enough now.” She was cut off by a hand on her shoulder and she looked up to see Jesse standing over her. “You can leave now.”

She rolled her eyes and huffed, sliding out of the booth and sulking away. Jesse soon took her place, sitting down opposite Luke and exhaling through his nose.

“Look, I don’t make a habit of agreeing with her, but I think she might be telling you the truth.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek. “Rose told me something bad happened to them and that she had get away and when you strolled in here looking for them, I thought maybe you were the something bad, you know?” 

Luke nodded slowly, sitting forward in his seat. 

“But you don’t think so now?” Luke narrowed his eyes on Jesse. 

“No.” Jesse shook his head. “You’re a cop right? Shoulda noticed that before, you scream law enforcement.”

“FBI.” Luke whispered so no one else would hear. “I’m not here on official capacity though, I worked with Y/N and Spencer, they’re my friends and I really am just trying to find them.” 

“Y/N and Spencer?” Jesse frowned. “She told me Rose wasn’t her real name but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. They’re FBI?” 

“They were, until a while ago when they just skipped down.” Luke ran his fingers through his hair, knowing he shouldn’t be telling Jesse any of this. “You said you thought that kid was telling the truth? Why?” 

Jesse exhaled again, looking sceptically at Luke as though he still wasn’t sure he trusted him. He ran his fingers through his beard and pulled a face that Luke couldn’t place.

“When I first met Rose…Y/N, she told me her “husband” was a drunken bully. I got the impression she was scared of him. I asked her if he hurt her and she said no but she did say that he had a temper. He’s a skinny dude but there’s something about him that makes me think he wouldn’t hesitate in kicking someone’s ass. He doesn’t strike me as stable, if that makes sense.” Jesse looked uncomfortable sharing this information, like he was betraying you in doing so.

“It makes absolutely zero sense, but if you knew Spencer Reid, it wouldn't make sense to you either.” Luke shook his head.

“I’m scared for her.” Jesse admitted, leaning on the table and lowering his voice to barely a whisper. “They’re staying on Gothic Avenue, big cabin right at the end. Come out of here and go straight up 4th, take the second right onto Gothic. Keep going for about a half mile and it's the big one on the corner right before the large rec.” 

“You did the right thing.” Luke smiled at him, reaching into his pocket and subtly sliding his card across the table which Jesse quickly took. “If you see either of them, please call me.”

“Sure.” Jesse nodded, soon sliding out of his chair and walking away.

Luke downed the rest of the coffee and got to his feet, making quick work of getting outside and back into his hired car and following Jesse’s instructions, drove towards the Gothic Avenue cabin. 

But he wasn’t the only one on that particular mission and he didn’t notice the redhead following him outside and heading the same way on foot. 

***

It was just before lunch time, after some extremely lazy sex that you finally dragged yourself out of bed, your hunger getting the better of you. But you soon came to find the cupboards were empty. 

Spencer bribed you with sexual favours you probably would have gotten anyway, to go down to Scout’s as he physically couldn’t prise himself away from the bed. Reluctantly you’d agreed, taking a quick shower to wash the stench of sex off of you before dressing and heading outside. 

You got about a third of the way down Gothic Avenue when you suddenly felt as though you were being watched. The hairs on the back of your neck stood to attention and you felt something was wrong in your gut. You picked up your pace, partially wishing you’d had the forethought to bring the Colt with you. 

Just before you made it to 4th Street a hand clamped down on your shoulder. You were trained for this. You knew exactly what to do. 

Without even so much as taking a breath, you spun quickly on your heels and sent your fist flying into the face of your potential attacker. They stumbled backwards with a loud groan of pain, hands flying to where you’d just punched them in the nose.

“Jesus Christ, Y/N!” He yelped, glaring at you as he held his nose. 

You stared at the man you’d hit wide eyed as the air felt like it escaped your lungs. 

“L-Luke?” You stuttered, wobbling on your feet. “What the fuck are you doing here?” 

“Nice to see you too.” He grumbled. “I should have known better than to sneak up on you.” 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” You repeated. 

“Where’s Spencer?” He let go of his nose and dropped his hands to his sides.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You didn’t miss a beat.

“Sorry, I meant Andrew. Andrew Burnett, your husband.” He nodded his head towards the wedding band. 

“Goddamnit.” You growled, pinching the bridge of your nose. “How did you find us?” 

“We’re profilers, Y/N. Come on.” He rolled his eyes. “Garcia found Reid’s car. We tracked you to a used car lot and the car you bought with Spencer’s fake licence. We put out an APB on the Nissan and found it had been picked up on cameras in this town several times.” 

“Are the rest of the team here?” You folded your arms across your chest.

“No, just me. We’re shorthanded, remember?” 

“Good. You need to leave, you have no idea what you’ve walked into.” 

“Y/N,” he softened, stepping towards you. “Has Spencer done something? Has he threatened you?” 

“What? Why would you think that?” You scoffed.

“I spoke to some people in town and they seem to think he’s this violent, angry man.” 

“Who told you that?” You frowned at him. 

“That doesn’t matter. You need to tell me what’s going on. You understand that this looks bad, right?” Luke pleaded with you. 

“We just wanted to get away. Spencer’s been struggling since prison and I was feeling stifled at the BAU. So we decided it might be a good idea to just get away from it all for a while.” You tried to insist but you knew Luke wasn’t buying it.

“I might believe that if it wasn’t for the burner phones and fake IDs and burnt out cars.” He spat. “You were an FBI agent for a long time, you know what that looks like, don’t you?” 

It looks like two criminals on the run. It looks exactly like what it is.

“What are you implying, Luke?” You frowned heavily at him.

“If Spencer has done something, to you or to anyone else, you can tell me, Y/N. You can tell me anything.” He looked deep into your eyes and you felt for a brief moment that bond between the two of you. 

You could tell him anything, you knew that much. Luke Alvez had done nothing but stick by your side through everything and you knew this would be no different. 

You reached up and fiddled with the rose gold heart pendant around your neck. Did you love Spencer enough to protect him from this? Or was this finally your way out? 

***

Spencer threw the pillow over his head and groaned deeply as a heavy knock sounded on the front door. The alcohol from last night that still seemed to be drowning his brain cells meant it felt like whoever was knocking was doing so directly against his skull. 

His plan had been not to leave this bed all day. His drive to and from South Dakota plus an exuberant amount of sex had drained his energy and the scotch he’d consumed left him feeling dizzy. 

The knock came again, followed in quick succession by the doorbell. Whoever it was clearly didn’t plan to go away easily. He groaned, his head spinning as he forced himself out of the comfort of the plush bed. His eyes were blurry and made trying to find any semblance of clothes almost impossible. 

As a third knock sounded he managed to locate his boxers and stumbled trying to put them on. His legs wobbled frantically as he slowly crept from the bedroom and down the stairs. 

His stomach lurched as he walked and he briefly thought he might throw up but thankfully it passed. He continued through the living room towards the door as the doorbell rang once more.

“Jeez. Alright I’m coming.” He belched rather unceremoniously. “Jesus I’m still drunk.” 

He threw open the door, keeping hold of it to help steady himself. He blinked a few times against the bright red assault of colour on his retinas before focusing on her face. He groaned, suddenly wishing he’d made an effort to put more clothes on and that he wasn’t standing here in just his boxers with her on his front porch.

“Fucking hell, what do you want?” He leant against the door jamb, not trusting his wobbly legs to stand unaided. 

“Well that’s just rude.” Mary smirked at him and there was something menacing to it. “I just want to talk.” 

“We have nothing to talk about.” He stood back up, moving to close the door in her face only in his state she was faster and she shoved her hands against the wood to stop it from closing. 

“Oh I think we have a lot to talk about.” Her smirk grew. “Why don’t you invite me in, Spencer Reid?”

***

“You can tell me anything.” Luke repeated when you were silent for some time. 

You rolled your eyes and scoffed.

“Oh please, Spencer couldn’t hurt a fly and you know it.” You shook your head. 

“So he didn’t give you those bruises on your neck?” Luke looked quietly smug. 

You unfolded your arms and one of your hands went to your throat. You’d gotten used to them being there if truth be told and didn’t think much of them most of the time. 

“It’s not what it looks like.” You brushed your fingers over the bruises.

“Oh really? Because to me it looks like he tried to strangle you.” Luke hissed.

“Fucking christ, Alvez,” you spat back, grinding your teeth furiously. “You really want me to stand here and tell you I like it when he puts his hand around my throat when he fucks me?” 

You swore you saw the exact moment Luke’s heart shattered in his chest. His eyes softened and he stumbled backwards, his mouth falling open as a pain washed across his face. You instantly regretted your harsh choice of words but it was too late. 

“You’re…you’re sleeping with him?” He couldn’t hide the upset from his voice despite how hard he tried. 

“Yeah.” You nodded. “We’re, uh, together I guess.” 

“You are aware he’s sleeping with some young redhead, right?” Spencer spat. 

“What? How do you know about Mary?” You glared at him. 

“I met her! She told me that Spencer got aggressive with her when he couldn’t get it up. I didn’t believe her at first but then that McGill guy said you’d told him that your “husband” was a bully.” Luke sounded exasperated. 

“You talked to Jesse?” You spat. “Luke, you had no right! You had no right to follow us here in the first place. We’re happy here, just let it go.” 

“Happy? Happy?” He scoffed, stepping towards you. “You’ve got a fucking trail of bruises around your neck and I’m starting to think they aren’t the only ones.” 

Before you could reply, Luke was grabbing one of your hands and pushing the sleeve of the pink wool sweater up your arm revealing more finger shaped bruises circling your wrist. 

“Goddamnit, conejito, really? You’re happy? You’re happy being abused?” He dropped your arm and stepped back, sadly shaking his head. 

“It’s not abuse, jeez. We like rough sex Luke, so what?” 

“Oh my god, please stop talking about you and Reid’s sex life.” 

“Are you jealous?” You scowled at him. “Are you jealous because he’s got all you ever wanted?” 

He frowned at you, looking at you like he didn’t recognise you anymore, like he was standing in front of a stranger. He took a step back, shaking his head in disappointment. 

“Maybe once this is what I wanted, yeah. But you aren’t the same person anymore, are you? You’re not my conejito.” He rolled his lip between his teeth. 

“I was never your conejito, Luke.” You spat. “You need to leave, you shouldn’t be here.” 

“I’m not going anywhere until you explain to me what’s going on. What has Spencer done? What are you scared of, Y/N?” Luke begged.

“Spencer has done nothing but love me! We wanted a fresh start, away from the BAU and all the bullshit. I don’t need you anymore Luke, I don’t need you protecting me. Let me go, for the love of god just let me go!” You raised your voice. 

“I think something happened,” he stepped closer to you. “I think Spencer did something really bad and you’re covering for him because you’re scared. You don’t need to be scared, Y/N. Just tell me what he’s done and I can help you.” 

He reached for you but you slapped his hand away. 

“Don’t touch me. Spencer has done nothing wrong, Jesus just because you’re an FBI agent doesn’t mean you always have to think like one. Sometimes the simplest explanation is the right one. And in this case it’s as simple as we wanted to get away and we knew we’d never be able to do that as Y/N Y/L/N and Spencer Reid.” You growled at him, your back well and truly up. 

“You’re lying.” He bit back. “I know you better than you know yourself and I know when you’re lying. We’re the best goddamn profilers in the world and I swear to you, Y/N, we will find out what he’s done and we will come for him. Don’t let yourself become collateral damage.” 

“Burden of proof.” You shrugged, a wry smile on your face. You remembered so well having a conversation with Spencer in his apartment about the same subject not so long ago. “You say you’re the best goddamn profiliers in the world, but so are me and Spencer. And if, hypothetically, he'd done something, do you really think he’d leave behind any evidence?” 

“You could save yourself a lot of trouble if you just tell me what I need to know.” Luke continued to plead with you. 

“You need to know nothing, except for the fact Spencer and I love each other and we are in this together until the bitter end. So why don’t you hop back on the jet and leave us the fuck alone.” You spat so venomously that Luke was actually a little scared of you. 

“You’ve changed.” He shook his head sadly. 

“And you never will.” You pushed past him on the sidewalk, deciding to forgo Scout’s in lieu of going home. 

Your blood was boiling in your veins as you marched back towards the cabin, furious at the BAU for tracking you down, angry at Luke for coming all the way out here. 

But it was only the beginning. 

***

“What do you want from me?” Spencer sat on the couch while Mary stood over him, wishing he weren’t still tipsy and clouded by last night's scotch. 

“I want to know why two FBI agents are hiding out in our town using fake names.” She folded her arms across her chest. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He tried to insist but he wasn’t able to control his facial expressions the way he normally would. 

“Does the name Luke Alvez mean anything to you?” She scrutinised him and Spencer fought with his expression not to give anything anyway but the scotch was in control.

“No.” He shook his head, swallowing thickly.

“Hmm, I don’t believe you.” She spoke in a sickly sweet tone. “Because I met him and he seems pretty convinced that you and Rose…or should I say Y/N are FBI agents who just dropped their whole lives and ran off without a trace.” 

She met Luke? Luke is here? Why the fuck is Luke here? What the hell is happening? 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He folded his arms across his bare chest. 

“Let’s try this again,” she came closer to him. “And I swear to god if you’re not honest with me…”

“What? You'll do what?” He scoffed at her. 

“I’ll tell everyone the truth about who you are.” She shrugged.

“And you think they’d believe you?” He chuckled. “You think they will believe a story as convoluted as this? Sweetheart, they will think you’re crazy.” 

“Maybe. Maybe not.” Mary shrugged. “Fine, I’ll tell everyone I know that you sexually assaulted me.” 

Spencer stared at her in utter horror of what she was saying but she looked nothing by smug. His heart started hammering so hard in his chest he felt even sicker than he already had done. He searched for a sign she was bluffing but saw none. 

He was taken back to an interrogation room at a woman’s correctional facility. He could see her so clearly in front of him, Cat Adams telling him she was pregnant with his child. He could hear her wicked voice in his ears. 

I had Lindsey dose you in Mexico. You lost time. And I gave her very specific instructions to get you in the mood. 

“W-what?” He stammered. “That’s not the kind of thing you lie about.” 

“Tell me the truth then.” She shrugged. 

“I’m not telling you shit.” He shook his head, pushing himself up to his wobbly legs. 

“Well then, I guess I’ll go. Who should I start by telling? My dad? My brothers?” She started towards the door but Spencer quickly moved and grabbed her roughly by the wrist, somehow able not to fall flat on his face. 

“Listen you little bitch,” he shook her by her arm, growling in her face. “Do you have any idea how many people are actually assaulted every day? How many don’t report it because they’re scared they won’t be believed? And you want to use their real pain for your own sick gain?”

“You know you’re not helping yourself right? If you bruise me it’ll only make my story seem more believable.” She glanced at his hand on her wrist and he quickly let her go. “And don’t think I haven’t seen the bruises on your lovely wife. I’m sure she would back up my story.” 

“The only story she would back up is the one where you’re a desperate little whore who shamelessly wanted to fuck a man you perceived to married.” He snapped at her. 

“Well I guess we’ll see won’t we? Who’s going to believe the strange out of towner over the young, innocent girl.” She pouted. 

Stop being the boy who cried rape, Spencie. It’s not a good look. 

“What do you want? Why do you care who I really am? Fine, if it’s going to shut you up, yes, my name is Spencer Reid. I was an FBI agent and so was Y/N. We changed our names and left town. Why do you even care?” He sighed in exasperation. 

“I guess FBI agents make pretty good money, right?” She mused and Spencer felt his stomach coil into knots at the insinuation.

“That’s what this is about? You want money?” He scoffed.

“I told you I want out of this town. I work three jobs and I am nowhere close to having enough. Finding out your little secret is the best thing that could have happened to me. So if you don’t give me what I want, I will disgrace the former FBI agent Spencer Reid and tell everyone that you raped me. Ten grand should do it.” Her smirk grew tenfold and Spencer felt the anger rising throughout his whole body. 

But his brain was still clouded in a thick fog of alcohol. If he’d been at full capacity he would have easily been able to figure a way out of this, but right now all he could think of was killing Mary. The only problem with that was his guns and hunting knife were upstairs.

He could strangle her to death, feeling as she took her last breath. But he knew better, even in his state, that killing someone close to home would only come back to bite him in the ass. He’d been so careful up until now and he couldn’t ruin everything because of this stupid bitch. There had to be another way.

Mary was a wolf in sheep’s clothing, much like he was. He’d tricked everyone in this town into thinking he was just the mild mannered Andrew Burnett here with his wife to escape the big city. But in reality he was a violent killer, an injustice collector of sorts. Maybe Mary was his karma and now was his time to pay up. 

“Let’s just talk about this, please?” He begged her, eyes flickering somewhere off to the side as he sensed a movement by the kitchen. 

“No, no more talking.” She shook her head, clearly not noticing he was distracted. “You pay me now or I will go straight to the cops.” 

If she heard the sound of the gun being cocked, it was too late. And then suddenly the reverberation of a single gunshot filled the room and the bullet pierced straight through the back of Mary’s head, exiting between her eyes and continuing into the wall next to the front door.

The last sound Mary made was a small gasp as she collapsed on the floor in a pool of her own blood at Spencer’s feet. The shock was written all across his face as he looked up at you, still holding the smoking gun in your hand. 

You tucked it in your waistband and strolled closer to Spencer whose mouth was hanging open and wide eyes glared at you in a stupor. 

“W-what did you…? Why did you?” He croaked out as you stepped closer, not a single hint of remorse in your eyes. 

“Karma’s a bitch.” You shrugged simply. “And so was she.” 

Hahaha, this is about you.

Beware, beware, be sceptical,

Of their smiles, their smiles of plated gold.

Deceit so natural,

But a wolf in sheep's clothing is more than a warning.

Baa baa, black sheep, have you any soul?

No sir, by the way, what the hell are morals?

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick,

Jill's a little whore, and her alibis are dirty tricks.

So could you,

Tell me how you're sleeping easy,

How you're only thinking of yourself.

Show me how you justify,

Telling all your lies like second nature.

Listen, mark my words, one day (one day),

You will pay, you will pay.

Karma's gonna come collect your debt.

Aware, aware, you stalk your prey,

With criminal mentality.

You sink your teeth into the people you depend on,

Infecting everyone, you're quite the problem.

Fee-fi-fo-fum, you better run and hide,

I smell the blood of a petty little coward.

Jack be lethal, Jack be slick,

Jill will leave you lonely, dying in a filthy ditch.

So could you,

Tell me how you're sleeping easy,

How you're only thinking of yourself.

Show me how you justify,

Telling all your lies like second nature.

Listen, mark my words, one day (one day),

You will pay, you will pay.

Karma's gonna come collect your debt.

Maybe you'll change,

Abandon all your wicked ways,

Make amends and start anew again.

Maybe you'll see,

All the wrongs you did to me,

And start all over, start all over again.

Who am I kidding?

Now, let's not get overzealous here,

You've always been a huge piece of shit.

If I could kill you, I would,

But it's frowned upon in all fifty states.

Having said that, burn in hell, yeah.

Oh, oh, oh.

So tell me how you're sleeping easy,

How you're only thinking of yourself.

Show me how you justify,

Telling all your lies like second nature.

Listen, mark my words, one day (one day),

You will pay, you will pay.

Karma's gonna come collect your debt.

Karma's gonna come collect your debt.

Karma's gonna come collect your debt.

@bubblebuttwade @jay-2s-world @daddy-dotcom

#spencer reid #unsub spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid smut #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem! reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction

[the-owl-tree]

its SO obvious that they wanted nightcloud to be some evil harpy so we’d feel bad for crowfeather and want him to be with leafpool (who he also mistreats because she had the audacity to choose her friends and family over him. crowfeather would have emotionally abused leafpool truther). crowfeathers trial feels like it wants nightcloud to also fess up to being bad. its so obvious when you read any author statements like from the field guides or websites

I'd say CT is pretty good towards Nightcloud (with my only non-issue criticism being that it does unintentionally and obviously not endorsed by the narrative sort of reaffirm the idea that it was her presence that was stopping them from bonding. obviously this is not the takeaway from the text, but eh, past decisions will always haunt the writing team). Breezepelt loving his mom sooooo so much makes me happy.

Po3 is really kind to her....because she's barely in it LMAO, she doesn't have much character outside of "Breezepelt's mom". She also doesn't really appear in OotS besides background appearances and that One Scene which people will unquestioningly cling onto, remove any context of, and not do any reflection on why they do that in the first place. Because when Nightcloud grabs Crowfeather (yes, she just grabs him), everyone is acting like a drama queen. Lionblaze and Breezepelt are FIGHTING and LEAFPOOL JUST PROFESSED HER LOVE TO CROWFEATHER AGAIN.

No mention of blood, she just fuckijng. grabbed him. if there was blood, we would have known it because breezepelt and lionblaze are beating the shit out of each other on the side lol

So even at her worst, she's still nowhere Crowfeather's level (seriously, if you can't think of the difference between hitting your kid for mouthing off vs. grabbing you partner during a brawl while his ex is going on about he loves her.....come the fuck on. this in no way puts these two on equal levels not at anon just a nebulous 'you'). Even then, this can be explained by everything that happened! That her aggression and unhappiness is from the whole reveal and the crumbling marriage. But this isn't a Nightcloud analysis, my point is that any and all of Nightcloud's actual behavior isn't nearly as focused on as Crowfeather's by the narrative and I don't think Po3 or OotS was trying to convince you otherwise, however, I do think Nightcloud being written more aggressive and "clingy" should be taken into account that the finale of this trio's arc is Crowfeather putting the blame on his wife and then subsequent field guides painting him as correct. The main arc books are fine, you can glean why Nightcloud behaves the way she does but the field guides paint her as a whole other character that we DID NOT SEE!!!! Po3 had plenty of opportunities to show this but they didnt, and instead the field guides invested themselves on a narrative that DID NOT HAPPEN.

The books have a trend of abuse apologia for their father characters, and I think that should be remembered when discussing how the authors and the books chose to handle these three. I know the field guides aren't considered heavy canon, but they're well worth considering to better understand how the writing team understands these characters and "the blame".

Also god yeah, the way Crowfeather treats Leafpool whenever she stopped playing into his fantasy...gross. Very glad more people know he said that shit about "mixed blood" JUST to hurt her, definitely not any red flags here!

#deer rambles #this turned into a rant because this topic sends me OFF lmao #but it annoys me so bad people are so unable to discuss this topic #without the fucking posturing of “yes crowfeather was bad but we cant be *shudders* nightcloud apologists” #SHE'S BARELY IN THE BOOKS #SHE BARELY SHOWS UP I PROMISE YOU IT IS NOT A PROBLEM

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

Closure

"We like Steve, but we don't love Steve," Murray said mockingly.

A wave of fury rose up in Nancy. What business is it of his? Steve has been there for her more than anyone. He didn't have to go to the dinners with her but he did, every single one of them. He walked back into the house and fought the demogorgon when he didn't have to. He could have run. He was there for her, and she was just going to let this asshole mock him? No.

"I don't think it's any of your business," Nancy snapped. "And I love Steve. Maybe not in the way that he loves me, but I love him."

"Okay, okay," Murray said, holding up his hands defensively. "Sensitive, very sensitive."

Later that night, she lay in bed thinking about Steve and Jonathan. She also thought about Barb. She should feel victorious, but there was a guilty feeling in the pit of her stomach. She thought about the gate, how it was still open, and spreading into Hawkins. They weren't the same scientists, not the ones that killed Barb, and they were trying to stop the spread, but they were failing. . . They were only keeping it at bay momentarily. What if what she did puts them at risk because all she could see was getting justice for Barb? What if it swallows the entire town? What if it kills Holly? Or her mom and Dad? Or Mike? Oh, god, what did she do? What if the lab shuts down, and they can't stop it? Will was still getting treated by the doctors when no one else could possibly help, and she dragged his brother into this. Nancy rolled out of bed and rushed to the bathroom, emptying the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. Jonathan popped his head into the bathroom.

"Nancy?" He asked as he knelt next to her.

"We fucked up. We shouldn't have done this. It's still open, Jonathan," Nancy said. "I didn't think about it when I saw it, and why didn't I? Why wasn't that enough for me to wake up? I was so angry. I was just so angry."

"Nancy - " Jonathan started to say.

"It's too late. I don't think I could get that creep to turn over anything now," Nancy sniffled. "God, it was so weird that he was pushing us together like that."

"Well, I mean, the idea of us isn't totally crazy, is it?" Jonathan asked.

"Jonathan. . .I'm still with Steve. . .and while I do have feelings for you, I don't think it would be a good idea. I'm still dealing with Barbara, and I could really use a friend, and I know that's not what you want to hear. I need friends to talk to. . . like you. . .like Steve. I don't think I can handle a relationship right now, not with either of you," Nancy sighed. "And I think that if you pulled your head out of your ass, you and Steve could be great friends too."

"Nance, he said some awful things - " Jonathan started to stay.

"Yeah, he apologized for those," Nancy snapped. "And you nearly killed him for it, so I think you're even."

"He's a douchebag," Jonathan scoffed.

"And you aren't? Need I remind you that you took those photos of me," she said. "And I just put everyone at risk! None of us are perfect, but do I really have to remind you that Steve put his life on the line for both of us? I could really use both of you. . . I can't lose anyone else. Can't you at least try?"

"Nancy. . . "

"Come on, you both like to cook!" Nancy said.

"He cooks? He doesn't have people do that for him?" Jonathan asked with a scoff of disbelief.

"His parents leave him alone all the time. He kind of had to fend for himself, kind of like you did, except your mom actually gives a shit," Nancy said and then paused. "Don't tell him I told you that."

"Damn it," Jonathan muttered and sighed. "Fine. I'll give the guy a chance."

"Thank you," Nancy said softly.

"I never actually apologized for taking those photos. It doesn't matter why I took those photos, I still took them, and I shouldn't have," Jonathan said. "I'm sorry, and I'm not taking it back this time. I actually mean it. Not only did I invade your privacy, but I also abused my skills as a photographer."

"Thank you for saying that," Nancy said softly. "And thank you for meaning it. There's a part of me that's always going to be a little weirded out by it, which is another reason why we shouldn't be together, but I want you to know that I do forgive you."

Nancy and Jonathan stayed on the floor in silent contemplation.

"You know, I don't think I'm ready for a relationship either," Jonathan said.

"Yeah," Nancy said softly.

There was another long moment of silence between them.

"You know, you would make a better journalist than that guy," Jonathan said.

"Yeah?" Nancy asked.

"Yeah."

When they got back to Hawkins, things had gone to shit. Will was now possessed by what the kids are calling the Mind Flayer, Steve’s like their guardian now, and El was alive, getting ready to close the gate with Hopper. Meanwhile, Steve and Nancy were looking through the heaters out on the lawn to use to get the Mind Flayer out of Will.

"You should go with him," Steve said.

"What?" Nancy asked.

"With Jonathan," Steve said.

"No, I'm not just going to leave Mike," Nancy scoffed.

"No one's leaving anyone. I may be a pretty shitty boyfriend . . . But I'm a damn good babysitter," Steve said.

"Steve. . . "

"It's okay, Nance. It's okay," Steve said softly, and her eyes filled with tears.

"You were not a shitty boyfriend! You were the best first boyfriend I could have asked for, and I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like you were. I was drowning and . . . You helped. You were there. After this we'll talk properly, okay?" Nancy sniffled and hugged Steve tightly. "Just want you to know that nothing happened with Jonathan. We're just friends. I don't want to lose either of you from my life, okay? Promise?"

"I promise," Steve said.

After freeing Will from the Mind Flayer, they met up with Hop in front of Jonathan's house. Hop was pulling El out of the car when they approached. Nancy opened the front door for him, following him into the house. When they walked in, they found the kids arguing with Steve over a knocked out Billy Hargrove. Steve’s face was bloody and beaten.

"I say we bury him outside with the other demodogs," Mike scowled.

"Mike! He is a person, and he's still alive!" Steve yelled. "He's also Max's brother."

"Stepbrother!" Max corrected.

"He slammed Lucas into a wall!" Mike screeched.

"He did what?!" Joyce asked, appalled.

"What the hell is going on here?" Hopper asked as he set El on the couch.

The kids started talking at once until Steve whistled, hollered, and clapped his hands.

"Hey, shitheads! Let me do the talking," Steve replied, putting his hands on his hips.

"You really are a good babysitter," Nancy grinned.

"More like a mom," Jonathan whispered loudly, and Nancy snickered.

"He's my stepbrother," Max spoke up. "He came looking for me. He didn't want me to hang out with Lucas, and so he attacked him. Steve stepped in to help, but Billy nearly killed him, so I used the ketamine to knock him out."

"I mean, I don't think he would have killed me," Steve frowned.

"You were unconscious, and he was still beating on you," Lucas said.

"You didn't see the look on his face!" Dustin exclaimed, his face pale. "He enjoyed it!"

"Okay. I need to deal with Hargrove, but first, I need to take you to the hospital," Hopper sighed.

"I'm fine," Steve said.

"Fine?! Fine?! He smashed a plate over your head, Steve!" Dustin exclaimed.

"What?!" Nancy, Jonathan, and Joyce exclaimed.

"Uh, I'll take Steve to the hospital, and you can deal with Hargrove if it makes it easier, Hop," Jonathan said, and Hopper nodded.

"I'll go with you," Nancy said.

"I'll go too!" Dustin and Lucas exclaimed.

"We're going to need to take Will to the hospital, anyway," Joyce said.

"I'm fine," Will said.

"Is there an echo in here?" Joyce scowled. "Max and Mike, you can ride with us."

"Yeah, we can go to the hospital," Will said.

Nancy practically pushed Steve into the passenger's seat before he could protest and climbed into the back seat with the two boys.

"Hey, Steve?" Lucas asked.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks, man," Lucas said softly.

"Anytime," Steve said with a grin.

Lucas lunged forward and hugged Steve from behind before plopping back down into his seat.

"Aww," Nancy, Jonathan, and Dustin said in unison.

"Oh my God! Shut up and drive!" Lucas exclaimed.

After Steve was admitted into the hospital as the doctors wanted to keep him overnight for observation, Jonathan went to check in on Will. On the way out of Steve’s room, he pulled Dustin and Lucas out of the room, leaving Nancy alone with Steve.

"You know, I have a hard time putting into words how I feel about someone. Steve, you're an important part of my life, and I want you to continue to be a part of it. I do love you, Steve, but not in the way that you want me to. I'm sorry I couldn't say that before, and I'm sorry that I hurt you. Don't say that I didn't because I did, Steve. You were there for me when not a lot of people were and you went to every dinner when you didn't have to. You held me as I cried, and you listened to me talk about Barb. I think if Barb hadn't died that night, I think I would have fallen head over heels for you, but too much has happened, and I don't know how to forget," Nancy said, crying.

"I don't think you ever forget. I think you just put one foot in front of the other and I think you'll find that it is easier to walk even with all the weight that you carry. You just get stronger," Steve shrugged and paused. "I don't want to lose you either."

"You're pretty smart, you know that? Why don't you bring it out more often?" Nancy asked.

"Some people just like me for my pretty face," Steve tried to joke.

"You're beautiful inside and out, Steve Harrington," Nancy said.

"Back at you," Steve smiled, sniffling. "I love you."

"I love you too," Nancy smiled and hugged him tightly.

Jonathan tentatively knocked on the door and popped his head in. His shoulders were a little tense.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

"Yeah," Nancy said.

"I just want to say, Steve, that it was pretty cool what you did. Those guys mean a lot to Will, and he's very grateful to you. So am I," Jonathan said.

"Thanks, man," Steve said, and then he grinned. "I guess you heard that I'm single now. Do you want a piece of this action? I have to say I'm still very fragile."

"Fuck off, man," Jonathan laughed, his shoulders relaxing. "I don't do jocks."

Nancy giggled, looking gratefully at Jonathan. It was a good start for all of them. A very good start.

#stranger things #stranger things s2 #nancy wheeler #steve harrington #steve x nancy #stancy #steve & nancy #platonic stancy #jonathan byers #jonathan x nancy #jancy #jonathan & nancy #platonic jancy #steve & jonathan #platonic stonathan #steve & nancy & jonathan friendship #they all get closure #nancy tells murrary off #steve is a good man who's always been there for nancy #whether you think they're romantic or not you have to acknowledge that steve was there for her #i fixed it #nancy needs friends so do jonathan and steve

[bonefall]

So, since BB!Ivypool will use her newfound deputy status to force a confrontation with Dovewing- how would she react if Dovewing snaps and told her to her face that she never, EVER wanted to speak with her again after everything? Like, would it click for her that even if she deeply regrets the way she treated her sister, no matter how sorry she is its up to Dovewing if she's ever forgiven? Or does she blame Heartstar thinking she turned her sister against her?

Let's pop open the hood of BB!Ivypool and her fucked up little life, and every person she's been leading up to the end of BB!TBC.

All of this starts with her father, Lionblaze, raising her with this axiom; That you are given strength to serve your Clan.

While he used Dovepaw and her powers in service of ThunderClan (often fighting with her mentor, Birchfall), Lionblaze encouraged his daughter to involve herself in Dark Forest training. Ivypaw felt like this was how she "earned" affection from her Ba, with hard work.

Just as Lionblaze believed that his physical abuse at the paw of Ashfur made him stronger, Ivypool also came to believe that growing up thrown to the wolves made her stronger too.

So when Dovewing first started to... not even REJECT the idea, just display any resentment towards it at all, it's like a personal slight.

No one ever fucking listens to Dovewing. No one cares what she wants. Just what she can do for them.

And Ivypool was super part of that. Her mentor is Brightheart, who often overexerts herself as an expression of PTSD. She saw Hawkfrost "die" turning against Tigerstar for the greater good. She sees Bumblestripe "working so hard" to "help Dovewing adjust" while she's losing her hearing.

In her eyes, Dovewing was being selfish. Look at all these people who give EVERYTHING to their Clans-- how dare you try and make it about yourself?

Tigerheart, in and out of their life constantly, gets blamed because it's a lot easier to pin it all on the Evil Codebreaking Foreigner than admit that maybe Dovewing has a point. Ah HA! THERE is the villain responsible for making my sister act weird! I knew it all along!

(Plus Tigerheart and Ivypool got pitted against each other a LOT in DF training because Ivy was Hawkfrost's apprentice and Tigerheart was Tigerstar's, for some incredibly fucked up projection reasons you'd expect of Tunnelbunstar. Ivypool will nonsensically blame Tigerheart like she's a Dinkleberg.)

(Also tbf tigerheart would 100% let her believe it, 1. Because it's funny, and 2. Because it takes the heat off Dovewing)

And Ivypool was VICIOUS about this. AVoS is still getting shuffled but if anything vindictive she did towards Dove in that arc gets removed, I will replace it with something just as bad. She would actively sabotauge ShadowClan if it meant keeping Tigerheart away from Dovewing.

She can't handle the thought of losing Dovewing. At some point, it became about control. It's her insecurity towards herself, towards her family, towards all of her losses, and even towards service of her very Clan.

And then Dovewing booked it. Couldn't handle this shit and panicked and BAILED.

And THEN it's about getting Dovewing BACK. She's even dragged Fernsong into this and tried to leverage his friendship with Dovewing to this end. She'll even support Bumblestripe when he tries to argue for an invalidation of Queen’s Rights on technicality.

Ivypool: "Those kits are Bumblestripe's! He has a claim! They even have HIS MANE"

Heartstar: "Hmm. No, it is very clearly MY mane."

Ivypool: "You can't-- wait what?"

Heartstar: "Lightkit even has my beautiful smile <3 so fuck off, maybe?"

For a long time that's where Ivypool was. She was the awful, vindictive sister-in-law constantly trying to weasel in to make Dovewing feel bad. When she had kittens of her own, she was still in this mindset.

It didn't end well. In BB!TBC, Bristlefrost needed her. Ivypool stepped in to prevent her from being the impostor's pawn, but refused to do anything when she was caught and imprisoned for being in a HalfClan relationship. She needed to be punished as a codebreaker.

Brought to the next Gathering, the impostor reiterated the need to enforce the code, and desperate times calling for desperate measures. He called for SkyClan to punish their own warrior. They refused to make this a public spectacle.

So he sliced open her throat, right on the branch beside him.

Ivypool didn't imagine she would be KILLED. Suddenly her whole world shattered. The moon stayed clear and bright. Her daughter was dead before she hit the ground and she had HERSELF to blame.

Dovewing and Ivypool served in the rebellion together, and eventually Ivy went into the Dark Forest as a Light in the Mist. She watched Bristlefrost die, AGAIN, knocking Ashfur out of the sky and burning them both up in orbit, and how brave Shadowsight had been in pinning him in place.

Ivypool NEEDS Dovewing to know now that she's different. She's learned a lot. She understands so, so much more now...

But DOES she? She still hates Heartstar's guts. She still feels abandoned. How different ARE you now, Ivypool, with your renewed interest in finding some petty reason to skirt around Dovewing's direct wishes? When you're still here getting into blowout arguments with Heartstar?

So to answer the question, if Dovewing told her directly, "I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR DESPERATION. IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR FEELINGS. PISS OFF"

Ivypool would not be able to accept that.

It just wouldn't stick, ever. It really is desperation. Dovewing NEEDS to know that Ivypool loves her and misses her, and that she understands, but also that Heartstar is delusional, and this is still kind of Dovewing's fault. And Ivypool will do anything to make her know this.

But I also DO want to say; this is a very unique weakness. It is Dovewing Derangement Syndrome. Ivypool is a competent deputy, and she is a devoted and respected warrior of ThunderClan. It will be no surprise she's being picked for deputy, especially considering (god willing) Squirrelstar is seeking war with ShadowClan.

She is a good friend, mate, and leader. But BB!Ivypool is so, so fucked in the head about Dovewing. This family can fit so much trauma in it

#BB!Ivypool #Better bones au #BB!OOTS #bb!TBC #BB!Dovewing #BB!Heartstar #Ivy is both a victim and a perpetrator. I do have sympathy for her #Which I think is what really makes this so juicy #But your pain doesn't mean you get to have whatever you want #Or even whatever you think you need #I think it's hard to explain it because it's not logical AT ALL #It's a boiling soup of strong and desperate emotions that Ivy has not unpacked #And how can you even? SO much has happened to Ivy #So many awful and DIFFERENT things #I want to study her #For the record btw I am on Dovewing's side in this conflict tho lmaoooooooo #Dovewing I'm so sorry. It's extremely fun watching Ivypool try to break into your house to rearrange your fridge magnets to say 'TALK TO ME #You deserve better. But I cant look away. #Dovewing is trying so hard to become a background character it's hysterical #Girl you are in the Main Character Family (for bb at least) you are not allowed to have a peaceful life with your beautiful wife

[genderqueerdykes]

Have you heard about the thing where Etsy is going to change its terms so people can't participate in class action lawsuits against them?

thank you for sending an ask about this, i wanted to make a public post about it but couldn't think of what to write

yes i did! they're massive pieces of shit! i'm in the process of shutting down my shop- I have been running this store for a year now and it has been a nightmare the entire time. from the start, i have been dealing with endless bullshit on etsy's behalf. for the first 3 month of owning my store i had to wait for every single payment to clear, well over the projected amount of time they would tell me it was supposed to take.

i was in desperate need of money to pay rent and not be homeless during that time and etsy ended up not even coming close to paying for my necessities because of how steep their fees are, how deep the cuts they take, and how expensive shipping labels still are on their platform. they cut you a deal, but you're still paying something to the tune of nearly $4 for each package. that adds up so fast.

etsy is an absolutely horrendous site to vend for. people have been saying this for years, but it's only continuing to get worse. etsy is genuinely abusive to its shop owners. did you know they won't give you a 1099 form to file your taxes in the US unless you've made more than $25,000 in a year on their platform? i am aware that etsy handles a lot of taxes for you but fuck them for this.

they do not care about a single person who works for them. they are horrible. we are shutting down our etsy store and either vending our art IRL only, or migrating to ko-fi for a digital storefront for our art. this is the final nail in the coffin. let etsy die. fuck them for treating the people who built them like this

have a good day, thanks for reaching out, we appreciate it a lot! we're going to be closing our store as soon as we're able to refund some orders we weren't able to complete, due to etsy not letting us generate shipping labels for those orders, and issues with being able to afford materials.

#asks #answers #etsy

[ravenzeppeli]

You Dare Disobey Me, Girl? |Silva x Reader Angst|

Warning: brutal spanking, language, nudity, humiliation, sexual themes/discussions, physical abuse.

      Silva stood in front of you, his huge 6'6 form towering over you like a skyscraper, his blue eyes hard and menacing, body ripped with muscles. He made you feel so small and fragile- he could tear you apart if he wished.. that was the exciting part about working here- the rush of always being just so close to death. "I don't like when you act out Y/N, I found you nine years ago trusting you and taking you under my wing. Treating you as my own. Why would you dare to break my trust? Look at you now, in deep shit."

       You were completely naked, humiliation being apart of the punishment as your hands were tied above. You looked up at the metal bar, a sigh escaping your lips as you studied the rope. "I wasn't breaking your trust, I was just overwhelmed that you wanted Illumi to marry me. I didn't mean to run

away, I was going to eventually come back once I had time to think." You didn't like Illumi at all, he had no personality. You sound much rather marry Milluki, at least he speaks kindly to you.

         "You dare disobey me, girl? In my own damn house, acting so keen about everything. You are going to pay," he snapped, taking his thick leather belt off. He shook his head, silver hair resting on his broad shoulders. "You will marry Illumi and you will have my grandchildren. You knew that I would seek that in you, you knew Y/N. That is why I trained you so brutally for all of these years." His bright blue eyes traced down your body, staring at your womanhood with intensity.

         Your cheeks flushed red at the utter humiliation of all of this, knowing that he stares on purpose to humiliate you. Ever since you turned 20 he had begun a new phase in your punishing.. it was painful and embarrassing but in a way you liked it. The pain that once made you go insane was now turning you on wildly, making you grow wet with anticipation for your beating. "I'm sorry I disrespected you."

        His eyes traced up your body, full focus now on your breasts.  "You're going to be very sorry once I'm done with you. I was generous enough to allow you a warning the first time but that came with a promise that you wouldn't run away again. You broke that, so now I am going to beat your ass. Do you understand me?" He questioned, his black shoes padding against the hard ground, now standing in front of you. The leather belt was at his side, taunting you.

          "Why do you have to stare at me like that? What's the reason of staring at someone you will never have anyways? I belong to your little son, shouldn't he be the one to do this since I'm being forced to marry him?" You questioned, tone sharp.. you quickly regretted smarting off to him by the look in his eyes. Suddenly, you were fucking terrified.. your heart rapidly skipping a beat.

          "I could have you and take you right now if I wanted, my wife and I would use your body up.. separately and together. We would break you and next time we will, rather you are Illumi's wife or not. You will be handled," Silva snapped, slapping his large palm across your face with force, a snap gasp escaping your lips as your legs went weak. If it wasn't for the chains that tied your hands you would have fell to the ground. "You will marry my son and you will have our grandchildren. Or you will have mine, and I won't treat you well. Illumi will, do you see how well I treat my wife? I've never put my hands on her unless she asked."

         You shook your head weakly, "how could I marry a man that I don't love? At least give me more time to love him Silva, he hardly speaks to me. He hates me." You looked down, blood dripping onto the floor in front of you, the left side of your face throbbing. You wanted more.. why couldn't you just marry Silva or Kikyo? Damn it, this sucked.

         "He will be back in a week, you will marry her next day. You had seven years, I refuse to wait any longer. Now it is time for me to punish you," he said, walking behind you, his hand resting on your back. "He will learn to love you and he is willing, I already asked him and he said that he would treat you well. You will live rich and you will never be out of work. You will have a great life, just as you do now. Stop being stupid, now apologize to me."

           "But what if Illumi wasn't the one that I desire? What if the one I desire is someone else, someone that I owe my life too," you said, staring into his eyes. It was wrong to love Silva, so wrong.. but everything in this world was wrong. You were wrong. "I love you Silva, please let me be with Kikyo and I promise that I will make the both of you happy," you begged, tears falling down your face. You haven't cried in so long. "I love you so much, please love me back."

           Your desperate and lonely heart clung yo both him and Kikyo those seven years ago and you've been in love with Silva and slowly falling in love with Kikyo ever sense. You usually spent every waking moment with Silva.. how could not fall in love with him? It was impossible to avoid, now you are stuck marrying his stupid son who has the personality of a fucking plank. That was why you ran, you had to escape all of this but instead of letting you go he had to find you. This just wasn't fair at all.

         Suddenly a whip sound filled the air, the hard leather belt crashing on your ass with such force that it knocked the wind out of you, a loud sob escaping your lips, your legs trembling. The motion repeated two more times, the two harsh smack causing your entire body to tremble, a harsh burning sensation lighting your ass on fire. Again. Again. Again. He wasn't letting up, leaving your confession unanswered as he beat you, a low grunt escaping his lips.

         "W-why?" You sobbed out, your legs finally collapsing and giving out. You were hanging by your hands, that being the only thing keeping you up. Despite how uncomfortable it was you couldn't stand.. you were in too much pain as the leather whoosh began to attack your spots.

          "I don't love you in that way, Kikyo and I love you but we have no romantic feelings towards you. Illumi does and he is who you will be with- a man your age. He's my son, if you love me then you can love him," spoke Silva, continuing to harshen his blows. You felt the welts forming on your ass, the bruises that wouldn't heal for a month.. this was your reality. "Apologize and I'll stop. You're bleeding, it is only going to get much worse for you." 

          "I-I apologize!" You cried out, causing the leather belt to finally drop. You sobbed, entire body now shaking.. it hurt so bad, your ass throbbing, hands cramping.. you shouldn't have said anything. You should have never ran away.. you knew that this was bound to happen sometime.

          "Good, I'll come let you go and clean up in a few hours. For now just think about rather you want to wear white or another color next week. Perhaps red, it compliments you" he muttered, walking out the door and leaving you alone to suffer in pain.. just as he always did.

#tw spank #tw whipping #tw beating #tw nudity #ravenzeppeli #ravenzeppeli other #ravenzeppeli hunter x hunter #tw abuse #tw nude #tw adult themes #tw blood #tw torture #tw humiliation #tw slapping #tw chains #tw tied up #hunter x hunter #hunter x reader #silva zoldyck #silva #anime #fanfic

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#346

“Hey boy get out here.  This is my bud Scott.  He and I go way back to my hauling days well before I married your momma and took the both of you in.  Do you recognize him?  No?  Well he recognizes you.  He said you sucked his dick down at the docks, and that he was one of many men who used you.  That shocked panic look on your face tells me everything….

“Jesus fuck!  Right before your momma passed away, she got me to promise her that I would take care of you.  We knew you were queer.  Hell, I’ve been fine with that.  You know that.  I’ve taken you to some parades.  I went to your fundraisers.  I supported you as if you were my own son.  Your mom would have been proud.

“Now I hear that you are a faggot.  And if you were servicing men at the docks, you were probably whored out by Big Dale.  Am I right?  You meet up with Big Dale and he brings the men to use your holes?...  Answer me!...  For fuck’s sake.

“I can’t believe it!  I have a faggot whore under my roof in my home.  How long have you been a faggot?...  Don’t give me this ‘all my life’ shit.  How long…  Wait a minute.  Do you know the difference between a queer and a faggot?...  You don’t.  A gay boy or a queer boy is what I thought you were, someone who goes to parades and shit like that.  I thought you were going to find another gay boy to date or something.  A faggot on the other hand is a whore to men.  A faggot needs to serve men.  No matter how the man wants to use or abuse a fag, the faggot complies.  A faggot will get smacked around, pissed on, spit roasted, just to get the cum loads.  Cum is the faggot’s motivation.  Degradation, humiliation, and debasement is how it gets it.  So again, are you a faggot?

“Aw, that nod was barely noticeable.  You can do better than that.  Just say it.  We all know it’s true.  Big Dale wouldn’t have taken you in if you weren’t ready to be used.

“About time you admit it.  Jesus fuck.  How long?  How long have you been a faggot?...  Four years?  Fucking hell.  I had a faggot living in my house for four years?  I don’t fucking believe this….

“Why the fuck are you crying?...  Oh for fuck’s sake.  I ain’t going to kick you out.  I didn’t when I knew you were gay, I’m not now.  No, I would have treated you the way that you need to be treated.  I would have been training you…

“Wait a minute!  Wait a minute.  You’re nineteen.  And you have been a fag for four years.  Since you were fifteen?  Jesus Christ!  Maybe it was for the better that I didn’t know.  Don’t need nor want any of that underage bullshit.  Oh my, all those men at the docks and wherever else you went to spread your legs were fucking you underage….  Shit.  I’m not going think about that.

“Well starting today, you are my faggot.  You are no longer my stepson Brett.  You are Faggot or Cunt or whatever I feel like calling you.  I’m going to be a controlling asshole to you going forward. 

“Get the fuck naked.  You will wear what I tell you, and that is nothing.  You will do your chores, cook, yardwork, and so on naked. 

“No hair?...  Did Big Earl do that?  Figured he would.  You are to keep that up.  Bow your head.  You should limit your glances at your superiors. 

“Your pecker is rock hard.  Faggot you really are a faggot.  OK.  Here we go.  I want you to bend over and grab your ankles.  Show us your cunt….  Holy hell.  That is one used cunt.  You still have the cum stew in there from last night, or did you clean out when you got home last night?

“Scott, it’s going to be a mess.  I can break out the hose to clean it out….  Thought so.  Have at it. 

“Faggot, Scott and I go way back, back to my truck driving days.  We used to ride together and tag team faggots across the country.  He knows how to handle a true faggot.  You are going to with him for a four-day run.  You will follow his orders.  He will keep me informed of how you adapt to life as a faggot on a 24 hour a day.  I need to make some adjustments to the house now that I have me a faggot.  You’ll be moving down to the basement for starters.  Got to get a rimseat.  Shit like that.  When you get in, I will break you in properly.

“Damn boy, you are really handling Scott’s beer can dick.  If you think his is fat, just wait, mine is just as fat and two inches longer.”

[hawkogurl]

in the genuine way possible, Why do you like Raimi verse MJ?

Would like a description of your thoughts.

So I just woke up (I know it’s 6PM I work night shifts) so this might not be as well verbalized as it could be. (Update: I put this in drafts and am now adding to it at midnight but I have had a day so prior warnings apply)

But for me, she’s a nuanced and flawed female character who isn’t given the credit for that she deserves and I think she kicks ass as a result. I don’t need characters I like to be good people, I need them to be interesting. She’s interesting.

But in terms of what people normally hate her for, I don’t really tend to agree for a variety of reasons. The main thing people get on her about is cheating, which is very much true, but that feels unfair when Peter also cheats! And he doesn’t see nearly the same amount of shit thrown at him that MJ does! (Wonder why that is?) Hell, he hits her while he has the symbiote but I barely see people bring it up. But on the note of her cheating, I don’t mind it because we’re given a reason as to why she’s got such bad commitment issues that I find interesting. She grew up in an extremely unstable home with a seemingly chronically ill mother and a verbally and likely physically abusive father. She’s a dysfunctional person for sure, but we as a community are more than willing to read into and analyze far worse behaviors in Peter, Harry, hell, people outright ignore Norman being an abusive father. It’s bs to me that she’s not given the same treatment. Shes someone who grew up in an unstable environment. Shes used to that. Her entire life in her formative years was that. As a result, the way I see it, she either gets into relationships with people who tend to continue not treating her well (Flash and to a degree Harry.) and when she’s in more stable relationships that hurt her less, (like John) I theorize that the reason she does so much to put them in jeopardy is that her, stability with men in her life is always something that has ended inevitably, but abruptly and probably violently. Being the one to destroy a relationship her trauma screams at her will inevitably end with her being hurt again gives her a sense of control.

And on top of that, I find her emotional responses to Peter’s behavior while he dates her extremely human! Sure, she definitely makes mistakes in how she handles it, but I personally absolutely hate the degree to which people ignore Peter’s own mistreatment of her. I’m not gonna claim she did nothing wrong, but people in this fandom have a tendency to remove responsibility or the ability to have done something wrong from Peter. At that point in the movies, Peter has everything going for him. His life is finally going well and as a result of his own inflated ego and the fact the world has revolved around him he sort of seems to forget that she has her own life and her own problems that she wants to be heard and understood and supported through. His ability to do that is one of the things that drew her to him in the first movie and she’s watching him as it becomes apparent he doesn’t really have that anymore. Everything in his life revolves around him and has for years, so when her life problems get brought up and he makes them about himself and remains somewhat unempathetic and so absorbed in his own joy he doesn’t notice how poorly she’s doing, I find it personally hard to deny that’s exactly how I would feel in that situation. I hate that people refuse to empathize with her, or when they do on a surface level they still refuse to acknowledge any blame Peter has there. Hell, I find it hard to deny that I’m irritated that it’s basically overlooked that Peter kissed another woman in front of her face but people will rip her to shreds for kissing another man one time. I’m not gonna say she didn’t fuck up, but I find the way she’s treated unfair and I frankly think the opinion wouldn’t skew the same if she was a man for both of these topics.

I also just like that she’s a person? She has emotions that feel real, she has a life and a career outside her relationship with Peter, she has compelling trauma that informs her decisions. I frankly find her to be a more nuanced and interesting character than MCU MJ or TASM Gwen simply because she feels more well rounded and flawed. They’re better and more likeable love interests, but I frankly think she’s a better character. Everything that people praise in them as something that makes them Better Than Raimi MJ either feels like rather shallow traits or things that feel somewhat misogynistic towards Raimi MJ, a character who they claim they don’t like due to misogynistic writing. No hate to those to ladies, I see the appeal to them and I think people should like them, but Raimi Mj has more depth to me.

In conclusion: To like a character I don’t need them to be a good person I need them to be interesting. Shes interesting. Also everyone in this trilogy, including Peter, is at least somewhat a bad person. So I don’t know why she specifically is being treated with so much less grace other than the obvious reason.

#raimiverse #raimi trilogy #spider man #peter parker #spiderman #spider-man #raimi mary jane watson #mary jane watson #mj watson

[princess-of-the-corner]

Amnesia!Dabi: Twice (and assorted random thoughts)

I like to imagine that Jin ALSO ends up living with the Todorokis, or at least under their protection. Hell, maybe he stays at U.A.. Maybe Magne comes out of hiding to give them a hand. Who knows. But, like. Like, the Hero Commission absolutely want to throw him in jail. Like. A Hero Student got kidnapped. All Might has retired. The LoV is still at large. The recent upheaval - Kamino, the Togas trial, Toya, maybe a few information leaks - have really hit their public image. They are probably suffering a drop in public trust, and need a win (or a scapegoat). And like. I imagine they give it their best shot.

However:

1) By the time the HC get wind of it, Jin is at U.A., being treated by Recovery Girl. On paper, Jin has “surrendered” to U.A., just like Himiko and Dabi did, an incident the HC largely let U.A. handle independently. Like, did they want to get involved? Oh absolutely. But one of those villains was Endeavour’s kid, the other was a malnourished fifteen-year-old, they know to pick their battles. However, it’s created a pretty obvious precedent that U.A. can use.

2) Their big argument would be that Jin’s Quirk, combined with mental instability, makes him highly dangerous. Well, guess what, his Quirk is GONE. And they can’t claim ignorance, because there’s a pretty recent precedent for that too - Ragdoll. Her medical records probably shows her Quirk factor being damaged or something, and Jin matches (or might even be WORSE). They also could have Monoma try to copy Jin’s Quirk, to prove its really gone, cause he can’t copy what isn’t there. 

3) They still try to make an argument for mental instability. However, with U.A. in the way, they’d definitely need to take this to court, get a proper ruling on Jin’s mental health, prove that he’s a danger to others. Not only is he NOT a danger to anyone right now (except himself) the Hero Commission wants to avoid that as much as possible. Why?

Himiko’s trial.

Cause this is happening right in the middle of the Togas fighting U.A. about Himiko. And that Trial is making all kinds of waves. Like, I imagine part of the reason Dabi went public with his identity as Toya Todoroki, got himself declared “not dead”, was so he could testify in court. Like, yes, he probably could have as Dabi, but it’s most likely EASIER as Toya, if that makes sense? So not only is the public getting “Pro Hero Phoenix Rises From The Ashes!” they’re also getting “Toya Todoroki to testify in upcoming abuse case”. There’s media attention on what would otherwise be swept under the rug. It’s getting a LOT of publicity, and I imagine that the Hero Commission aren’t coming out looking too hot. Why?

So I mentioned some info leaks, right? I like to imagine that the mission Toya went on where he “died” wasn’t just any old mission. It was issued by the Hero Commission. Now, do I think anyone in the HC was part of AfO’s plan to yoink Toya? No idea, but not the point. Those info leaks were about that mission, so now everyone KNOWS that the HC sent Toya on the mission where he “died”. They also have the follow up stuff, which when looked at all together, seems pretty sketchy? Like, why this decision? Why send him alone? Why these heroes, they wouldn’t be great for search and rescue? Why only this long of a search? Hold up, is this autopsy dated the day BEFORE? Shit like that.

(Now, besides the autopsy, I imagine most of it at the time could be explained by “Enji is panicking, grabbing whoever is closest, and not really thinking straight”, but looked back on by the public who don’t have context, it seems REALLY SUSPICIOUS.)

So, there’s all of THAT, but I also imagine that the HC did, at some point, try to get an … “interview”, with Himiko. Like, to ask her about the League. I imagine Himiko, wanting desperately to please the Todorokis (they’re all heroes, if she cooperates, will they keep her?) says sure, she’ll do it.

It goes REALLY FUCKING BAD.

I don’t know who they send to ask questions, but whoever it is, is used to dealing with hardened criminals, not emotionally damaged teens. The “interview”*cough*interrogation*cough* ends with Himiko in a panic attack, Dabi ready to burn a motherfucker to death, and Enji ready to help him. The HC back off so fast they leave tire tracks, and are trying their best to mitigate the situation. Only maybe, perhaps. Himiko’s parents are just rich enough, just influential enough, to know some people in the HC. To find out about the interview.

WHICH THEY DECIDE TO BRING UP IN COURT TO PROVE THEIR DAUGHTER IS A CRIMINAL - I MEAN, THE HC THOUGHT SO, RIGHT?

The Hero Commission is scrambling to fix this, and to do that, they need a win. Or a scapegoat. But they also realize that it’s 50/50 whether taking Jin to court would even work for them right now. So, eventually, they back off, and Jin moves into the Todoroki spare room.

(Please note, all of this is just random thoughts, not sure how well any of this would work?)

*And now, for something, completely different*

So, in the manga, they state that (at least physically) Magne hasn’t transitioned yet. Just … hasn’t been in a place, financially or socially to do that yet, was the impression I got? I like to think that Magne, after leaving the LoV, still in some of her “fuck this shit” phase, decides you know what? I am stuck in a weird place, have no idea what I’m going to do with my life, but I want to be happy. Now’s the time to transition. When she shows up properly at the end to help fuck shit up, Katsuki takes one good look at her, and goes “oh. THAT’S what I want”.

*

If Miruko is already dating, or at least friends, with Fuyumi, what if that’s how Hawks gets pulled in to the Dabi/Toya thing? I like to headcanon that the two are pretty good friends (youngest proheroes, both have animal Quirks, both get a lot of shit from similar places), so when Miruko needs another Pro, she calls him, like, “K, I need your help, but you can’t ask any questions, you can’t tell ANYONE, and aren’t allowed to arrest anyone.”

-

Hell yeah hell yeah HELL YEAH

I just LOVE the Commission being hoist by their own petard.

We can also end up with some bonus info reveals when Dabi eventually remembers The Thing™. Because the Commission tried to cover that up and then cut their involvement when they realized it was a lost cause even though the problem technically continues.

Swinging to the Hawks and Miruko thing:

I think they both got dragged in differently because like. They’re friends but also the social circle is a circle if that makes sense? Like yeah they might’ve told each other, but Hawks got involved because he’s on the list of Heroes that Enji trusts to deal with this sort of thing. (And also in a more personal way Enji was slightly projecting and seeing Hawks as another kid, so  it’s like ‘ah yes tell the family he’s also family’. The Dabi situation quickly turns this into a ‘the only reason I’m not filing adoption papers is because he’s a future in-law now’)

But also Hawks and Miruko get along great and definitely talk about many things.

#submission #amnesia!dabi

[harlequin-hangout]

The Winter Storm: Part 3 (Finale)

Series Master List | Bucky Barnes Master List

Part 1 | Part 2

Pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x f!Reader

Warnings: so many guns, violence, ⚠️Intimidation⚠️, screaming, injury, kidnapping, smut, this is the one where we go to murder town kids, let me know if I missed anything

Contains: Angst, fluff, Anger, temper, abuse depending on your trauma, mildly extreme injuries, sexual tension thicker than America's Ass

Word Count: 4.6k

Dividers are made by me! Want some for yourself? Send me an ask!

I do not nor will I ever give permission for my writing to be copied, pasted, reposted to other sites, or edited in any way shape or form. Seriously, just don’t.

Summary: You find yourself in the middle of the Wolf's Den with no way out. With chaos raging around you, it's time to Do or Die. The Winter Storm will always claim a victim.

Bucky sighed, feeling a new weight. After at least an hour of panic, Steve was okay and sleeping off the day in Buckly’s room. None of his wounds had been very deep, thank god. Y/N had been right, he could see that now that he’s calmed down. Steve’s injuries weren’t life threatening, there were just a lot of them. Coupled with the effort it took to get to the safe house, he had passed out from exhaustion, not blood loss. The biggest risk had been infection. 

 . . . He yelled at her. He had thrown her. She was trying to help him, and he treated her like shit. He may have known Steve longer, but she was Steve’s friend too. Steve had been handling their undercover plants within Pierce Enterprises. Both were brilliant at their jobs, but having a handler watching their back in case something went sideways was non-negotiable. Bucky glanced sideways at the guest room door, trying to let her come out at her own pace. Calling it a ‘guest room’ felt wrong now. That was her door. She was the most incredible person he’d met in a long time. She was quick, both mentally on her feet. She had prioritized Steve’s needs and been able to come up with a plan that would have worked while he was still panicking. And he had thrown her. Fuck . . . he wouldn’t blame her for wanting to leave. She really couldn’t leave, not safely, but he could arrange for a different guard. Sitting on the couch, Bucky groaned, resting his elbows on his knees and running both hands through his hair. He didn’t want her to leave. He had thrown her. Why did he like this woman so much? She was smart, quick on her feet, took to the training well, sure, but he’d met countless women like that and they didn’t get to him like this. Bucky leaned back as he tried to think. His mind began to wander back to when he’d first met her.

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes. Y/N, I’m assisting Mr. Pierce tonight. Mr. Pierce, I finished up the donation financial reports like you asked, and scheduled meetings with Zola and Rumlow, as requested,” She said. “Is there anything else that you need me to complete before I enjoy the party?” she glanced briefly over at him and bit her lower lip.

 . . . That’s it. She wasn’t afraid of him. From the beginning, she wasn’t afraid. Sure, there were moments when he’d scared her, but threatening to shoot someone will do that. Yet, even when he’d threatened to shoot her . . .

“What the hell is going on here?? Three days ago I’m a fucking secretary, and now I’m somehow a pawn for a drug lord and whoever you are? And don’t even fucking try to deny it, Barnes, you both offered me the same deal: compliance or death.” Bucky glared and leaned forward. He’d killed people for less than this. She looked scared, terrified even, yet she didn’t back down.  “You keep talking about these different pieces. The White Watch, Mr. Pierce, and an infuriating need to know the timeline, so what’s your game? You’re probably going to kill me anyway, so at least be decent and connect the dots before you take me out.”

That’s what had attracted him to Y/N in the first place. When pushed, even though she was out of her depth, she still stood her ground. She looked him in the eye and called him on his bullshit even with the threat of death hanging over her head. Bucky checked his phone. She’d been in her room for almost three hours . . . He was trying to be patient, but he was starting to worry and he NEEDED to apologize. Whether or not she accepted it was up to her and he would deal with the consequences of his actions, but he needed to at least try to fix it. He couldn’t bear the thought of leaving her hurting like that . . . he had seen the pain in her eyes. Okay, just check. Make sure she’s physically okay, then don’t pressure her. Bucky got up and strode over to the door. He knocked, to no answer.

“Hey, it’s me. I just want to make sure you’re okay . . . I was so, so wrong to do what I did, and I won’t push the conversation until you’re ready. Will you let me know when you’re ready?” Silence. “. . . Hello?” Bucky’s intuition told him something was off. Usually when people didn’t respond, there was still sound. Movement, a groan, a sigh, something. The room just felt . . . Still. Bucky tried the door and found it unlocked. He slowly pushed the door open, reaching for the gun that was usually in the underarm holster. He peered around the door, finding the bed empty except for the phone that Steve had been clutching. Odd . . . he peeked around the corner of the door frame. Maybe she was in the comfy chair he’d moved in to give her a place to watch the snow. Bucky froze. The room was empty and the window was open. 

“FUCK!!” He screamed, the panic rushing back. He had told her to get out of his sight and out of the building. He hadn’t been thinking straight. He hadn’t meant literally. She was missing, and it was all his fault. 

“Okay, Buck,” he thought to himself, “You fucked this up royally last time. This time you need to focus. Clues.” Bucky picked up the phone on the bed, turning it over in his hand. It was the Witch’s phone . . . Wanda’s burner. He had insisted that she take a burner when she went undercover at Pierce Enterprises . . . but where did the charm come from? He knew her passcode – standard practice for situations exactly like this. He sat heavily in the chair by the window, and began to thumb through the photos. Cat . . . Cat . . . Meal . . . Not the lingerie he would have chosen . . . He paused. The background of that lingerie photo . . . it was a mirror shot, and there was a second person. He zoomed in, and felt his stomach drop when he recognized Y/N’s face. She knew Wanda. That’s why she had been so insistent about the phone, she realized there was more to this. Angry at his own incompetence, Bucky quickly readied himself. If she had left, then the only place she would have safely known how to get to would be the Base. She’d been there enough times, and there was running water and heat. The rain had stopped, he just hoped he could still find any muddy footprints. Slipping the burner into his pocket, Bucky grabbed two of his SIG-Sauer P220STs, his CZ Vz. 61 E Skorpion that strapped to the back of his tactical vest, and extra ammunition for both models. If Steve had been followed, he wanted to be prepared. He may have to try to protect Y/N if there were enough of them. Bucky added a couple of knives and a stun baton for good measure.

He made record time to the base. 37 minutes. He hadn’t run into anyone on the way and there was no damage suggesting any struggle. That was promising. The burner phone vibrated. Probably nothing, but it may give him more information. 

MESSAGE FROM: BROCK RUMLOW. ATTACHMENT: 1 IMAGE

Bucky immediately opened the text. Staring him in the face is an image of himself, obviously taken moments before. His eyes shoot up to the guard tower where the camera should have been located, but no one is visible. Before he can move in closer, the phone vibrates again.

MESSAGE FROM: UNKNOWN. ATTACHMENT: 1 IMAGE

He immediately began to sprint back to the cabin. On the screen was Y/N. She was barely conscious, her face bloodied. Though definitely alive, Pierce held her head up with the fist that he’d knotted into her hair. She was on the floor of what looked like a helicopter.

Bucky kicked in the bedroom door.

“STEVE.” Steve jolted awake, groaning at the pain. Bucky handed him a couple of pills. And the phone, with the photo still pulled up. “Take these and gear up. Y/N’s gone. Pierce got her. We’re meeting Widow at the Enterprise building.” Steve swallowed the pills dry. He knew better than to argue when his childhood friend was determined. “Whose car are we taking?”

Your head was pounding, and your vision was blurry. After you’d been marched into the helicopter at gunpoint, you’d run into Rumlow, almost literally. 

“Maybe now the little bitch will learn to keep her nose out of places it doesn’t belong, eh, Pierce?” Rumlow laughed cruelly.

“At least I don’t have to sneak up on my own hand to masturbate.” That comment earned you a smack to the side of the head.

You smile at the memory. Though your shoulders ached from your hands being tied and Rumlow had done a number on you, but the comment was worth it. 

“What are you smiling at?” Rumlow barks from across the room. You don’t answer, letting your head roll forward. You didn’t know where you were, but you knew it wasn’t good. Best you could tell, it was some kind of basement. Cinder block walls, exposed metal bracings, and there were chains hanging, some of them with hooks on the end. The floor was the only part of the place that looked clean, and that wasn’t comforting considering there was a drain in the ground. You’d seen enough mob documentaries to have an idea of the purpose of the room you sat in. “Boss is gonna be here soon. That’ll wipe that smirk off your face.” Rumlow continued, his Alpha Male brand superiority complex radiated off of him.

“Hey, Mr. Rumlow?” you choke out, coughing a little bit. The blood in your throat wasn’t comfortable. “May I please ask you something?”

“Fuck it, you’re dyin’ soon anyway.”

“Why do you act so tough?”

“S’cuse me?” 

“I’ve been trying to figure it out. See, most people don’t bother with projecting something so extreme unless they’re hiding something.”

“And what do you think I’m hiding, Doll Face?”

“Honestly?” you can’t stop the smirk from playing on your lips once again. “Probably a fear of another man treating you the way you treat women.”  Now you had his attention. Not in a good way, but something was better than nothing. “Or a fear of another man giving it to you up the ass.” You worked on the rope binding your hands. If you could just remember what Bucky had taught you . . . One hand breaks free. You discreetly shove the rope under your butt and try to keep your upper body as still as possible while you  work on the other. “You shouldn’t worry, you’re the biggest asshole I’ve had the displeasure of meeting. Long as you lube up first, you should be fine.” Rumlow lunges forward, going for your throat. Perfect. You throw your weight back, kicking your feet out as hard as possible. Your right heel collided with Rumlow’s nose, and the chair fell backwards. Alpha males. So predictable. While the writhing asshole on the ground in front of you recovers from the shock, you swung the chair against the wall. This one was a metal folding chair, but as you had anticipated, it hadn’t been taken care of. The rust on the bolts gave way, leaving you completely unhindered. Shit, Rumlow is back on his feet. Luckily, he’s angry. He’s going to be sloppy if he’s angry. You dart forward, putting yourself on a collision course for his torso. In his blind rage, he lunges again. As soon as he’s past the point of no return, you duck down to your right and roll. He falls forward into the wall and you disappear out the door, leaving him screaming in rage.

The Widow strode into Pierce’s office. Winter Soldier and Vortex, as he had re-named himself, were on their way and she needed to keep the package safe until they arrived. Rumlow, or Crossbones as he was insisting on being called, was in the room with her right now. Not Widow’s first choice, but not the end of the world either. He wouldn’t dare cross The Wolf, and The Wolf wanted to do most of the damage. Widow just needed to keep that Wolf busy long enough for her backup to arrive.

“Sir? The basement workout you had planned is going to have to wait. We have intruders.”

“Intruders? Are they here for the Girl?”

“I don’t think so, Sir. They seem more interested in getting to the design levels. Possibly from that new start up.”

“Thank you Natalie. I’ll let you handle it.” Widow nods and closes the door on her way out. It didn’t buy her much time, but it was enough. Pierce wouldn’t risk heading down to the basement if he thought outsiders were in the building. Crossbones may have shot Wanda, but she would be damned if another girl would die on her watch. As Widow made her way down to the lower levels, she flipped to Vortex’s messages.

What about that girl from accounting? Sharon? She seems nice.

Bucky wove through traffic on his bike, Steve not far behind. Ten Minutes. They would be there in ten minutes and could clear the building in less than fifteen. He could see the building in the distance, he just needed to get off the freeway.

“I’m on my way, Doll, just a little longer . . . Hold on baby, please . . . hold on.”

You climb through the industrial sized HVAC duct. They were barely two feet by three feet so you had to army crawl, but it was much preferable to your only alternative. If you had gathered anything about Pierce, it’s that Bucky was his end goal. Based on the conversation in the cabin back in December, he thought Steve was dead, leaving Bucky as his only target. Pierce would use you to draw Bucky out, and you had no doubt he would come. You felt a pang in your heart.

“I don’t give a shit what it is, I have to save the only person who’s ever given a FUCK about me!”

You knew he didn’t mean it, but it stung. You cared. You cared so much. You’d spent five months around no one except him and occasionally Steve. You knew that it wasn’t a conventional meeting, but you would do it again in a heartbeat. He didn’t kidnap you, no. He’d offered you the only safety you’d known since that fateful day you walked into Pierce’s office. You bury your face in Bucky’s hoodie. It still smells like him. A tear rolls down your face as newfound determination to escape fills you.

Shit, dead end. There was a switch off behind you, you just needed to wiggle backwards enough to take it. You could hear crashing somewhere off in the distance. That was probably Rumlow kicking down doors. As quietly as you can, you manage to backtrack and take the turn. Straight. Right at the fan. Two turn offs down. Left. You do your best to keep track of where you are and how to get out, but staying away from Rumlow is your top priority. When you hear voices, you freeze.

“ – and if anyone finds her, you bring her here. To me. Unharmed. The Wolf wants that pleasure for himself. Understood?” A female voice commands the room. No, it couldn’t be . . . you peek through a vent to assess how screwed you might be.

“Yes, Ma’am!” The response comes from three men in full tactical gear. You crane your neck to see who’s standing in front of them. . . Natalie Rushman? She was in on all of this too? You took a deep breath and swallowed your panic. She was a friendly figure before, but things were different now. Just keep moving. As the door opened for the thugs to leave, you readied yourself to make your escape but you froze in place. Pierce was standing in the doorway. Your heart was racing a million miles a minute, this was WAY too close for comfort. He started talking about something, but the blood rushing in your ears made it impossible to hear. You slowly pushed back. Just ease yourself – A creak filled the room. You froze. Pierce and Natalie looked around the room.

“Come out, come out wherever you are . . .” Pierce's sing-songy tone was sickening. You wanted nothing more than to–Wait. You couldn’t see him anymore, where’d he go?? You craned your neck, searching frantically for Pierce. It was imperative that you know where he was at all points in – Another creak. Louder, more strained . . . Please hold, please . . . The vent crashed to the floor. You felt the end of the vent lift up, causing you to tumble to the floor. Pierce was staring down at you, a renewed fire in his eyes.

“Well, well, well. Would you look what the cat dragged in?

You glare at Pierce, the smug look on his face making you hate him even more. His knuckles connected with your jaw. The metallic taste of fresh blood hit your tongue as your lip split. 

“Have you given up yet, bitch?”

“Sorry,” you growled, “It’s gonna take more than a tap from the stone age to break me.” You got a backhand for that one. This time, he managed to knock you out of your chair. You cursed yourself for getting caught. “I thought you said you were going to teach me a lesson,” you spat at him, trying to push yourself off the floor. “Seems like the old Wolf is all out of  new tricks.” You began to laugh. It was cold with no humor behind it. In reality, you were terrified. Terrified of the Wolf. Terrified of Ms. Rushman. All you had to do was hold out long enough for Bucky to get to you, if he was even coming . . . You wanted to think he was, but there were so many variables. Even if he did show up, there was an increasing chance that he wouldn’t make it before you met your end at Pierce’s hands. All you could do was pray you didn’t die tied on this now bloodstained basement floor. Pierce grabbed your hair and yanked upwards. You screamed in pain and could have sworn you saw Ms. Rushman flinch.

“You listen to me, you little whore.” Pierce’s voice was harsh and low. You could feel his hot breath on your ear and the sensation turned your stomach. “Be as much of a smart ass as you want. No one’s coming for you. No one’s here to save you. Do you want to know why? Because you’re a pawn. An asset. You’re expendable. If you think the Winter Soldier will save you, then you’ve convinced yourself of a lie. I killed Avalanche. You should have heard his screams as he bled out on the warehouse floor. I’ll enjoy killing the Soldier while you watch. Every stab, every shot. Every punch.” Tears started flowing from your eyes. Your sobs came in waves. You tried to stifle them, but to no avail. C’mon Y/N, just think of something. Anything. Get one good hit in, and maybe, just MAYBE you can make it out of here alive. You stared daggers at Pierce through your tears, and spit on his face.

“You little CUNT,” he roared, throwing you across the room by your hair. You scream again, but this time, you’ve had it.

“FUCK YOU, YOU COWARD. You sent Rumlow to do your dirty work. Fucking RUMLOW, who had his ass handed to him by someone with only five months of training and couldn’t even handle a fucking finance report.” Pierce immediately strode towards you, but was stopped mid step by a banging noise. Suddenly, Rumlow flew through the door hitting the ground in the middle of the room. You looked up, and you finally saw him. That wasn’t Bucky. No, you were looking at The Winter Soldier.

“Hey, Doll, Sorry I’m late.” Bucky’s tone was even, calculated. His eyes didn’t leave Pierce, even as Rumlow began to stand. “Widow. Vortex is taking on a couple thugs in the hallway. Crossbones is all yours.”

“With pleasure,” Ms. Rushman replied. “This is going to be cathartic.” Pierce’s face was one of shock.

“Natalie? Natalie! I order you to stop right now. I am the Godfather of this operation and I–” In one fluid motion, Natalie Rushman slammed a knife through Pierce’s hand, pinning it to the wall.

“Consider that my resignation,” she stated coldly. Rumlow was back on his feet, and she wasted no time attempting to change that. Your attention turned back to Bucky as you heard gunfire. He was shooting down the hallway – evidently a couple thugs had got away from Steve. Your mind was racing. How to get out? There had to be– wait, Natalie had tied you up. Maybe . . . you start pulling at the ropes, and just as you’d hoped, they fall. You hear the knife clatter to the floor as Pierce rips the weapon free of his hand. He reaches for his gun. 

“Behind you!” You scream, and Bucky turns. He vaults down the stairs pulling his own firearm out of the thigh holster. Behind him, you see one of the thugs making his way into the room.

“No time like the present,” you think to yourself. With Pierce distracted, you’re able to grab the knife that Natalie had left him as a parting gift. You throw yourself at the thug, gripping the handle of the blade so hard that your knuckles are white. You hear Bucky’s voice in your head.

“If you only have a knife, get in close. Guns are great at a distance, but if you get within a foot of their body, it becomes a lot harder to react fast enough with a firearm before a knife can make contact.” You lunge, latching onto his neck. Swinging your bodyweight around, you land on the thug’s back and jam the knife into his side. He drops like a boulder. You stand over him breathing heavily. Not having time to process what’s just happened, you move on. Rumlow has Natalie pinned to a wall by her neck. You creep up behind him, but he spots you. Turning his body, his eyes bore into you. Your skin is on fire, and you almost get sick when you realize that he’s getting off on the suffering in the room.

“This stuck-up bitch turned me down so many times. Now I’ll teach her what happens to bitches who reject me. Then, Sweet Cheeks, it’s your turn.” You try to will your body to move, but you’re frozen. You’ve never encountered someone so evil, so genuinely and maliciously sadistic as him. You can hear Natalie’s choked breaths as he squeezes– a gunshot rings out in the small room and Rumlow crumples to the floor. As Natalie gasps for air, you whip your head around and see Steve, eyes full of rage. Rumlow groans and stirs. Steve almost flies across the floor and places the tip of his pistol to the back of Rumlow’s head.

“Not today. This is for Wanda, you sick fuck.” You cover your eyes, and hear the smack of a head hitting the ground. Steve immediately moves to help you. “Come on, Y/N. Let’s get you out of here.” You lean against him, grateful for the help. You’ve almost made it to the stairs when you see him. Bucky is losing his struggle. You don’t even think. You grip the knife in Steve’s leg holster and make a mad dash for Pierce. You knew you were losing a lot of blood, but you didn’t care. Your Winter Soldier needed you. Throwing all of your weight behind it, you drive Steve’s six inch blade into the middle of Pierce’s back and you can hear the air being driven from his lungs. You twist it violently, trying to do as much damage as humanly possible.

“Get the fuck off him, you prehistoric parasite,” you hiss. Pierce’s body slides to the floor. For the first time since you entered the room, everything’s quiet. Your breathing is heavy, and your vision starts to waver, but Bucky is safe. That’s all that matters. You barely register his yell as you collapse on top of him.

Everything is warm and cozy. You could curl up and sleep for hours. You didn’t think you’d ever be warm and dry again, much less cozy. Your body feels unusually heavy as you try to move. Where were you? Why was it so dark? And what was that faint sound . . .? You focus on the only sensory input you have. A voice?

“ . . .baby. You’re strong, you’re so, so strong, come on, Doll, please . . . Please come back to me . . .” Bucky . . .? His voice seemed so far away. It finally hit you. You were almost dead.

“Babygirl, I’m so, so sorry. You wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me, it’s all my fault . . . You deserve so much better than I’ve given you.”

“Buck . . .” You hear Steve’s voice. “Natasha’s pulled the car around to the back door. C’mon. There’s nothing else you can do here. Pick up her bod – pick her up and let’s head back to the safehouse.” You feel yourself laugh. A sound that turns into a weak cough, then a coughing fit. As the darkness begins to clear, you find yourself cradled against Bucky’s chest. He’s clinging to you as if his life depended on yours. Tears fall onto your skin as hope returns to Bucky’s eyes.

“Doll? Are you there?” You try to answer, but only make the coughing worse. “That’s it . . . That’s it baby. You took quite a bit. Nice and slow.” His tensed muscles relax as you come back to the world of the living. You giggle weakly.

“Giving up on me so easy, Rogers?” Your voice is weak, but Steve smiles. 

“You heard that, huh?” his eyes soften. He was worried about you too. “Good to have you back, Honey.” You turn your attention back to Bucky, who’s taken to running his fingers through your hair.

“Bucky, I–”

“Don’t, please.” He hangs his head. “My actions are what landed you here, and psychotic ex-coworkers aside, how I treated you was unacceptable. I can arrange for a different guard for you if you’d like to stay in the safehouse. I can–” you cut him off by pressing your lips to his. Bucky falters for just a moment, then melts into your touch. 

“We can talk about that later, Buck. You came for me . . . I didn’t know if–”

“I’m always going to come for you, Doll. Don’t ever doubt that. I love you, and I was too stubborn to admit it sooner. From now on, no more kidnappings, no more fights to the death in a basement.”

“Damn,” you mused. “Just when I was starting to get the hang of this mob thing, too.” Bucky laughed. The sound rang in your ears and your heart soared. You loved that sound so much. “I love you, too, Barnes. . .” you whisper as he stands up, lifting you along with him. Bucky touches his forehead to yours, placing a tender kiss on your lips.

“C’mon, Doll, let’s go home.”

Series Tag List: @vbecker10 @caritobbg @the-chocoholic-writer @waywardcrow @aestheticanimegirl15 @prettylittlepluviophile @thomase1 @magnificentgalaxysandwich @vickie5446 @waywardcrow

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