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vaguely-smart · 2 years

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A very subjective ranking of the Superman and Lois characters

Love

Jonathan Kent

Ok I love this child so much. He's the epitome of gifted kid burnout and I relate to him to an unhealthy amount. I hope the writers give him more plot in season three and that they actually follow through on the storylines they write for him. Jon deserves to be treated better by the showrunners and most of the characters. He either need to get in a better place or just, like, spiral downwards and become a villain and/or just leave his family for a solo story (preferably either in a Disney sitcom with Jon-El or in a vampire hunting/befriending adventure) 10/10 Good Boy

Natalie Irons

Nat is a very close second to Jon in my opinion. She's just so nice. Her vibes are immaculate and I would want to be her friend. Her story is so interesting and I hope next season focuses more on the Irons rather than the Cushings. I love that they actually show her being smart and how they give her autonomy (unlike Jon). Her (and her dad's) hero moments feel the most earned to me and I would watch an entire show where they were the main characters. 10/10 good vibes

John Henry Irons

I'm sad to say this but I think John Henry Irons is probably the only actually good parent in this show, named after two parents. He actually talks things out with his daughter and treats her like a capable person?!? What a shocker. I gotta say, whenever he was fighting Clark in the first season I was rooting for him. All I can ask is that they stop hospitalising him, considering he's going to be working against intergang, hopefully he won't get sidelined into the ER next season. 10/10 best parent

Jon-El

I debated whether or not to put Jon-El higher than John Henry Irons. I think I like Jon-El more but in a more detached, point and scream "boyyyyyy" way than any actual feelings. He is great, though, and I'm pissed he didn't make it into the finale. He better be back next season. He doesn't get super developed but he's definitely a dramatic gay theatre kid with daddy issues. I am here for it and I will not hear otherwise. I just want the writers to give him screen time, therapy and a boyfriend tbh. In the words of Luz Noceda he is a "bad but sad boy" 10/10 dramatic disaster gay

Tah-Rho

I was indifferent/bored with him in season 1 but I'm season 2 I live for him. He's literally just vibing. He just wants a family. I just want to watch whatever random shenanigans he gets up to instead of helping the main story. He's just the weird uncle. I want to know what goes on in his head. He's so fun to watch. 10/10 chaotic bastard neutral

Denise Olowe

I have nothing against Denise. She seems like a chill person. She'll probably end up dating Jon and I wouldn't be opposed to it (she'd definitely be the best he's had). I'd totally be down to see her get more character development down the line. Like if they want to have a 'civilian' storyline, I'd much rather follow her family than whatever we're meant to call Sarah's disaster of a family. 10/10 seems nice

Kyle Cushing

Kyle gets an unnecessary amount of hate. Cheating is usually one of the only unredeemable actions in my eyes that good characters can take because it is just a wholly selfish action but I'm willing to give Kyle a chance. Sure he did cheat but it was in his bad phase when he was also being a bad parent and (possibly?) an alcoholic. He stopped of his own volition, though, and worked on himself to make sure that he could be a good father and husband. As far as I'm concerned the only thing he should really be trashed for is not telling his wife. I genuinely don't think the Kyle we see in season 2 is the same person who had an affair. Another thing is you can see how much Kyle genuinely loves his family. He's so supportive of both Sarah and Lana and he is their number one supporter. I honestly think he's the second best parent in the show. Sure he's an absolute idiot in some of the things he does and says but he is trying to work on himself and he just constantly gets sh*t on. (I do think a lot of this is tied to the fact that Eric Valdez plays home really well) 10/10 he's trying

Jordan Kent

I don't have that much to say about Jordan. He's chill for the most part. I want him to succeed and be happy and stuff. Sometimes his vibes are off and vaguely serial killery but for the most part I like him. 10/10 I like him

Mitch Anderson

It's fun to watch him suffer. I live for whenever his bad decisions decide to come back to bite him. It's just so fun to watch. I did feel really bad for him in episode 10, though. It broke me when he and Jordan-El were trying to talk about Bizarro Superman. I really wish he didn't die in that episode. I would have preferred it if he died in the final battle with Ally. It just felt anti-climactic, how it played out. I literally didn't even realise he died. 10/10 should have died in episode 15

Indifferent

Sam Lane

I don't know what to say here. He's there. He does stuff. It is interesting how he sometimes switches between a minorly antagonistic role and a protagonistic one. I don't have any strong feelings about him except that he should have been a better dad. 10/10 he sure was there, wasn't he?

Lois-El

She's there. She doesn't really get much screen time. I really felt for her when she was leaving Kal, though. 10/10 girlboss?

Lois Lane

Pretty similar to her dad, honestly. Seriously though it really feels like she drops the ball with Jon so much (not as much as Clark, though). I have faith that her character could be good if she wrote her well, so I more hate the execution rather than the actual character, if that makes sense. I hope they do her better next season 10/10 could have potential if literally anyone else wrote for her

Jor-El

He's there. He looks sad. 10/10 he needs a hug

Kal-El

I'm sympathetic towards him but also it pains me to watch his scenes. Like stoooopp you pain me. 10/10 second hand embarrassment

Chrissy Beppo

People rag on her too much. Like sure, she definitely is annoying and feels too entitled about information but put yourself in her shoes. Her idol just came in and bought half of her newspaper so now they are co-owners but Lois doesn't treat her like an equal and she definitely is keeping a tonne of secrets. From the audience's perspective Lois's actions are understandable but Chrissy has every right to be pissed at Lois, especially since their profession is all about telling the truth and journalistic integrity. Of course she doesn't want to be lied to. 10/10 annoying but not wrong

Dislike

Sarah Cortez

I'm a lot more forgiving of Sarah because she's an actual teenager and at least she told Jordan basically straight away that she kissed Aubry (though it shouldn't have happened in the first place). The whole trying to make Jordan and Aubrey friends thing is kind of strange but I can see where Sarah's coming from. Aubrey can relate to what she's going through, which she feels like she can't really talk to Jordan about because as far as she knows his home life is pretty great. There's also the fact that Jordan in no way expressed how upset he actually was about the kiss to Sarah's face. It's easy to say that Sarah literally thought Jordan wasn't too hurt. I know at least with my friends when we were 14/15 a bunch of people had dated or confessed crushes on other people and we were still all friends. You can totally be friends with people you've had/have romantic feelings for and Sarah might have been thinking along those lines. All in all, some of Sarah's actions are rude/annoying but she seems like she's trying but is just finding a little hard to see things from Jordan's perspective because she's so caught up in her own drama (which I might add, a lot of which has been publicised to the entire town) 10/10 will probably be better once she knows the secret and grows up a little

Clark Kent

Clark, what are you even doing?!?! Whatever it is, it pains me! He's just so dense. And blind (you sure you don't actually need real glasses, my dude?) He just is just such a bad parent to Jon. Can we please go back to season 1 writing for him? Please?!?! Hopefully the showrunners look at people's reactions to Clark and do something about it!!! 10/10 do better you idiot!

Candice Pergande

I dislike every one of her scenes except for the last one. When she goes to talk to Lois and Sam she does actually look remorseful and like she is trying. It feels like we were meant to see more scenes of her like that but they were cut or something. Obviously she should have taken accountability but she's doing it for her father so she's not doing it from a strictly selfish standpoint and it's very easy to see how she might feel stuck and scared in this position. She feels like she could have potential and I hope if she is kept around (unlike Teagan) that the writers will expand more on her character and actually make her likeable. 10/10 let's hear her out

Hate

Lana Lang

I don't even know what to say about Lana. I feel like most of it has already been said by other people. She's just so insufferable and rude all the time. She's so entitled and I hate how she reacted to Clark's secret, especially by being mad at everyone except for Clark. Like b*tch just shut up!!! Please! I get Lana's under a lot of pressure but it's so obvious that she doesn't care about her behaviour and neither do the writers. It's so annoying. I hope she gets sidelined so much more next season 10/10 please, either get a reality check or just leave

Lucy Lane

She's just annoying and is given too many chances. How come Lucy who was the right hand man for a litteral world ending cult gets forgiveness easier than Jon who took drugs like three times. 10/10 shouldn't she be behind bars or something?

George Dean

I couldn't decide whether to put him or Ally at the bottom. He is intentionally insufferable and, I gotta say, the writers finally succeeded at something. He's so smug and annoying and I can't stand him! 10/10 of course he's in politics

Ally Allston

Booooooooo. Not that intimidating. Really annoying. I hate how she talks. I hope she doesn't return and just stays in prison for the rest of her life (this goes for both of them) 10/10 I hate her (squared)

Best Boiiii

Timmy Ryan

"Even Chads deserve character development"

"And love"

10/10 deserves an enemies to lovers arc

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lilyvines · 3 years

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Ideas for fun plot lines the Syndicate I think should be doing instead of whatever’s happening right now:

- Niki and ranboo have a teenager moment and decide to sneak out to las nevadas. Quackity knows they’re anarchists and he won’t let them in. They come back 5 minutes later with terrible disguises and British accents. He lets them in. Niki reveals that she didn’t bring any money and ranboo has to fund everything. He plays the diamond lights machine we’ve seen and weaponizes his main character energy. He has to be escorted out of las nevadas before he accidentally collapses the economy

- ranboo finds Charlie in his house. Charlie tells him that he’s always lived there and has been a member of the syndicate for the whole time. Ranboo believes him and they have a fun day out together. Charlie is obviously weird as hell but ranboo is too polite to comment. Eventually phil shows up and is like ‘I have never seen this dude in my life wtf ranboo’ but Charlie manages to get away scot free because he’s child shaped and Phil adopts anything that stand still in his periphery for too long.

- ranboo builds a space for Tommy and tubbo in his house. It is a very sweet idea and moment. Tommy and tubbo spend 5 minutes in it before deciding that the house is theirs now and they demand rent from ranboo. He pays them rent for weeks straight before someone shows up and is like ‘this doesn’t sound quite right’

- Wilbur builds a house and decides to have a passive aggressive neighbor relationship with ranboo. He shows up to make snide comments about ranboos rosebushes. Ranboo takes it in stride until he witnesses wilbur being kinda mean to Tommy. Ranboo does not stand for that and decides to create a homeowners association. He sends Wilbur strongly worded letters about his lawn everyday. No matter what Wilbur does to the lawn he won’t stop. Eventually techno puts a stop to it saying that HOA violates anarchy.

feel free to add more!!

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aimmyarrowshigh · 3 years

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Dark Greetings this Spooky Season Ms. V. Can we get a list of your favorite Halloween movies and specials? I know you have seen *everything* and I am trying to go beyond my usual rewatches this holiday month.

V. AIMMYARROWSHIGH’S CRITERIA FOR HALLOWEEN EPISODES

Does the Halloween element combine convincingly with the usual universe of the show (ex: Lizzie McGuire 2x09 “Those Freaky McGuires” is not good as a Halloween episode because it changes the rules of the Lizzie McGuire universe, whereas Community 2x06 “Epidemiology” is a GREAT Halloween episode because it manages to logically introduce zombies to the regular Community universe)?

Does the Halloween element advance the plot of the episode/series (ex: the reason Boy Meets World 5x17 “And Then There Was Shawn” is literally the best Halloween episode ever made is that it uses the horror movie tropes it satirizes to provide a CRUCIAL turning-point to the plot of the show)?

Is the Halloween episode in the forefront enough that it’s clearly a holiday episode (ex: HAVING ONE JACK-O’LANTERN ON A DESK DOES NOT A HALLOWEEN SPECIAL MAKE, LAW & ORDER 16x03 “GHOSTS”! You gotta go ALL-IN, like Bob’s Burgers 3x02 “Full Bars”!)?

Does the Halloween theme balance well between spooky and warm-n-fuzzy (ex: Criminal Minds 11x21 “Mr. Scratch” is too fucking bleak, but Criminal Minds 12x06 “Elliott’s Pond” has a joyous/celebratory tone to the ending despite being a genuinely scary episode)?

Is it generally a well-written, acted, and designed episode of television (ex: Saved by the Bell! 3x26 “Mystery Weekend” is seriously, not exaggerating, the worst thing I’ve ever watched in my life; Psych 1x15 “Scary Sherry, Or Bianca’s Toast” is a triumph of the medium)?

THE BEST, bar none, Halloween special ever made is Boy Meets World 5x17, “And Then There Was Shawn.” Period. There can be no argument, except MAYBE Community 3x06, “Epidemiology,” but I like “And Then There Was Shawn” better because the parody and homage as less… biting? And because I think it continues and addresses the emotional core of the regular BMW season better than “Epidemiology” does for Community s3. “Epi” DOES plant the seed (…heh) for the Season 3B major plot arc of Shirley’s pregnancy and Chang Deciding To Murder, but it gets some major minus points for mocking Yvette Nicole Brown’s weight with other characters’ responses to her costume, tbh. And “And Then There Was Shawn” is just fucking iconic. It is THE Halloween episode manual, IMO, if there were to be a textbook on how to write a perfect Halloween episode for your sitcom.

HOWEVER, I also have to give major props to Bob’s Burgers and Psych, as complete series, for their CONSISTENTLY excellent Halloween episodes. A lot of series that have multiple Halloween eps really phone it in after one or two, because they don’t have any more ideas for how to incorporate Halloween pastiches while maintaining the overall feeling of the series (tbh B99, while the Halloween Heists are excellent in general, is/has been coming very close to this line, and I think that if they HADN’T had to switch out the Heist to Cinco de Mayo in s6, they would have jumped their Heist Shark [and I think they know it, too, because it was lampshaded in the episode itself]) or they just straight-up don’t have any more ideas for what or how to have the characters they’re bound to parody or pay homage to a Halloween thing after they’ve already done one or two. And let’s be real: those one or two have probably been either The Shining or Rear Window, because those are pretty much the two that every show starts with.

Bob’s manages to make every Halloween episode feel very fresh and organic to the series, which I think they do have some leeway to do because of the nature of cartoons keeping the Belchers living a kind of loop of never aging, yk, but amazingly they’ve only done the “Tina feels too old to trick or treat, maybe? Nope, she’s not 14 yet, so there’s still time!” thing in a way that felt tropey once (in 3x02 Full Bars). They’ve been able to address Tina being 13/in 8th grade, and worrying about it being almost too late for her to keep trick or treating, in ways that were in-character and added to the overall episode in 4x02 Fort Night, 5x02 Tina and the Real Ghost, and 9x04 Nightmare on Ocean Avenue Street, without me rolling my eyes at the screen and going “TINA, EVERY SINGLE SHOW WITH A TWEEN IN IT HAS ALREADY DECIDED THAT THE AGE AT WHICH YOU MUST STOP TRICK OR TREATING IS FRESHMAN YEAR OF HIGH SCHOOL, COME ON NOW” which… at this point, is a Feat. Because like, I’ve POSTED over a thousand Halloween episodes, right? But I’ve watched and screencapped ::checks folder:: 3,905 Halloween episodes since 2014. Which is, um, a. lot. The ACTUAL BEST Bob’s Burgers Halloween episode is 6x03, “The Hauntening,” which is just… achingly perfect television. I know I’ve posted about it before (probably a couple times tbh) but the way that it aired originally back-to-back with The Simpsons 27x04, “Halloween of Horror,” so that the evening of Sunday cartoons juxtaposed eight-year-old Louise whose family worked so hard to scare her like she wanted with nine-year-old Lisa’s family working so hard to keep her from being too scared and make sure that she felt safe… reader, I FUCKIN CRIED. Little girls being deeply loved while also Spoopy Things!!!!!! IS WHAT HALLOWEEN SPECIALS ARE!!! FUCKIN!!!!!! ABOUT!!!!!!!

Psych, though, has the benefit of not really having any, like… central tone to the series? Beyond “friendship” and “having fun with joking,” tbh? So it’s able to do what a lot of series get docked “points” for in my Foolproof Halloween Special Ratings System That Is Completely Subjective To My Tastes And Mood, which is really just run full-tilt into parody and homage without really worrying about overall tonal connection to the rest of the season or series. 1x15, “Scary Sherry, or, Bianca’s Toast,” while it DOES fall victim to the way-too-common Halloween episode trap of making mental hospitals into a Scary Thing (they are a medical normality and a necessary thing for health for many people and should not be feared), is delightful Spooky Fun AND has the benefit of having Shannon Woodward in it.* We all know by now that if an episode of any show has Shannon Woodward as the guest star, it will by default end up being one of the best, if not THE best, episodes of that series. It’s just how having Shannon Woodward as your guest star rolls. I also really like, with Psych’s Halloween episodes, that quite a few of them understand the underlying thematic scope of Horror, which is “The Monstrous Feminine Is A Thing And All Horror Tropes Are Actually About Women’s Interior Lives Because Men Can’t Write Women And Fear Women Always,” yk, in a way that is neither TOO Actual Horror, which I am too afraid of to Do, or too trite and demeaning, which is the other basic trap that Halloween stuff falls into A Lot. Like, Scary Sherry is very much about women villainizing other women, avenging other women, and being in very specifically-female pain, even though Shawn & Gus are still the lens through which we solve the mystery, and so are 4x04 The Devil Is In The Details And The Upstairs Bedroom and 6x03 This Episode Sucks. But they give their Monstrous Females dignity and breadth, which is impressive, ESPECIALLY since they’re one-off guest characters. Also, 3x15 Tuesday the 17th is just plain funny and well-done, like, just give it props for the title alone.

*(Speaking of Shannon Woodward, another amazingly good Halloween episode is Raising Hope 4x07, “Murder, She Hoped,” which is among my very favorite Rear Window homage episodes and has probably the funniest gag in ANY Rear Window ep, in Martha Plimpton floating across the screen in the Grace Kelly silk nightgown and peignoir and announcing that it was on sale at Walmart, can you believe?! and honestly, yes. Perfection.)

Also excellent:

• The Addams Family (1991) + Addams Family Values (1993) • Scooby-Doo and the Ghoul School (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU WERE GAY FOR SIBELLA AS A CHILD!) • Scooby-Doo and the Witch's Ghost (RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'RE GAY BECAUSE THE HEX GIRLS!) • Halloweentown + Halloweentown II: Kalabar's Revenge • Mom's Got a Date with a Vampire! • Z•O•M•B•I•E•S (to a lesser extent, Z•O•M•B•I•E•S 2) • Clue (1985) • Coraline • Corpse Bride • 6teen 2x00 Dude of the Dead • Arthur 21x00 Arthur and the Haunted Treehouse • Lamb-Chop in the Haunted Studio • Arthur 8x04A Fern-kenstein's Monster • Arthur 10x02 The Squirrels • WandaVision 1x06 The All-New Halloween Spooktacular (I KNOW YOU, SPECIFICALLY, DEAR @plavoptice, HATE MCU!WANDA AND I DON'T BLAME YOU, YOUR REASONS ARE VERY VALID! But this is a good Halloween special so I'm putting it on my list In General.) • Boy Meets World 2x06 Who's Afraid of Cory Wolf? • Ghostbusters (2016) • Gravity Falls 1x12 Summerween • Leverage 4x02 Ten L'il Grifters Job • The Loud House 2x40 Tricked! • Mockingbird Lane 1x00 Unaired Pilot • It's The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown! (Classic, etc.)

I'm SURE I'm forgetting some that I'll rewatch this year myself. I'm a big Halloween Baking Championship fan, tbh, which is on Discovery+ now so I recommend that if you like mostly-relaxing nice people baking cakes that look like bats and such.

I'm also IMMENSELY INTENSELY EXCITED for The Muppets' Haunted Mansion on Disney+ next week!!!

#halloween #**halloween

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years

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SO’s Guide to JAM (The Office)

And no, I don’t mean preservatives. ;) For @redheadgleek - because she wanted to know.

So - the thing about the Office is that, unlike lots of sitcoms where you can jump right in during the middle, The Office (at least at the beginning) benefits from character development - and a lot of things later on don’t resonate as well if you don’t have the context and backstory to set them up. There are plenty of things to skip, but it’s worth sitting through some of the uncomfortable things to appreciate the story. That said - hopefully, this guide will help you decide if you want to pass or not.

I am going to use a ** to designate episodes I think you should watch.

Season 1

I think Season 1 is the hardest for people to get through. They were very much trying to model the British version, but the British version is very dark at times, and the American version just won’t allow itself to get that way, so season 1 feels really weird tonally -- and honestly different than the rest of the series. Plenty of people skip it all together, but there are some things worth watching.

Pilot - They used the script from the British pilot, and even that was kind of bland. I find this episode boring, and while it introduces Jim and Pam, it’s entirely skippable.

Diversity Day - So, there’s a lot of cringe here, but this is what made me really enjoy Jim and Pam, because Jim’s entire day sucks, and then at the very end, he and Pam have a special, sweet moment. This worked for me, but I can understand wanting to move past all the Michael.

Health Care - There are some fun Jim/Pam hijinx against Dwight in this one. The Michael plot is entirely skippable if that’s too much. But not huge in the Jam story.

**The Alliance - I would recommend this one, if only because the show comes back to it a lot. Jim and Dwight form an alliance, which is really Jim messing with Dwight. Again - the Michael portion of this episode is entirely skippable - so you can fastforward through that if you don’t want to endure it.

Basketball - Everyone plays basketball. It’s not really that interesting - but there are some flirty moments between Jim and Pam.

Hot Girl - I think this is the funniest of Season 1. Amy Adams shows up to sell purses at the office. There are great little Jam moments, but the only thing to really take away from this one is that Jim ends up asking Amy Adams out, which sets up season 2.

Season 2

Season 2 gets rid of a lot of the cringiest stuff from season 1, and lets the show be itself. While there are definitely Jam heavy/focused episodes, a lot of why the story line works is that there are little moments that build up in each episode that make it worthwhile.

**The Dundies - This is a great introduction to the show. Michael is more tolerable than he usually is. A ton of great Jam stuff in this one. Really a must see.

Sexual Harassment - There is a lot of cringe in this one. However, Pam’s mom shows up, and there are a few smaller Jam moments.

**Office Olympics - Michael (and Dwight) are out of the office and everyone goofs off. It’s a fun episode, and the Michael subplot is entirely skippable (though it’s not really that bad)

The Fire - There’s a fire in the office, so everyone goes outside and they play games. Lots of fun Jam stuff, though nothing life changing. The Michael/Ryan stuff is a little awkward. But the episode is good at expanding all the side characters so it’s recommended, even if it’s not a must see.

Halloween - Michael has to fire someone, so it is cringy in that regard. Jim and Pam have a subplot of getting Dwight to go to another job, which leads to some delicious angst.

The Fight - Michael and Dwight physically fight. Jim and Pam kind of parallel with a mini-fight of their own. The episode as a whole I’m a little meh on, but if you just watch the Jam scenes, you’ll get what you need.

**The Client - Michael goes on a sales call - and is actually a good salesman. Meanwhile, the office reads a script Michael wrote. It’s great, classic Jam stuff in this one.

Performance Review - I personally find this one funny because it’s fallout from The Client, but not Jim/Pam heavy. They have a minor subplot where they prank Dwight.

**Email Surveillance - Not entirely essential, but Jim throws a BBQ at his house, and there’s some good development here. The Michael plot at improv can be completely fastforwarded through.

**Christmas Party - I actually used to find this episode difficult (until I became really desensitized to it), but it is sitting through the terrible Michael stuff to get to the Jam stuff that will be relevant for years to come.

**Booze Cruise - The office goes on a Booze Cruise. Yes - watch this, feel angst, feel joy, feel all the things.

The Injury - there’s really zero Jam in this, however, it is incredibly funny and Pam and Dwight become friends, and I love that. Oh, the plot is Michael cooks his foot. I do recommend it, even if it’s not essential.

**The Secret - Jim tells Michael his feelings for Pam. Yes, lots of Jam-y stuff in this.

The Carpet - Someone puts weird stuff on Michael’s carpet forcing Michael to work in the office. I like it - there’s a lot of good Jim stuff (and a lot of angst) but not a lot of Jam. The ending is classic, though.

Boys and Girls - Jan throws a women in the workplace seminar. There’s some good Pam development in this one, so I recommend at least watching the women scenes.

Valentine’s Day - There is zero Jam stuff in it, but that’s the point. I think it’s really cool what they do with this - but not essential. However, it does have one of my favorite Pam/Dwight scenes.

Dwight’s Speech - Dwight wins salesman of the year. I’m a little meh on this one, too, tbh. Jim decides he’s not going to Pam’s wedding, but that’s the only Jam stuff in the episode.

Take Your Daughter to Work Day - People bring their kids to work. There’s some tiny bits of Jam in this one, but another I’m slightly ‘meh’ on.

Michael’s Birthday - No one pays attention to Michael on his birthday. Jim and Pam take a shopping trip that’s kinda cute, but there’s a lot of Michael pouting in this episode that makes it difficult.

**Drug Testing - Dwight finds a joint and grills the office. Has one of the best Jam subplots of the show.

**Conflict Resolution - Michael decides to resolve all the office conflicts. Of course this goes over well. Not a ton of Jam, but some relevant stuff, and some fantastic Jim stuff.

**Casino Night -- Yes, watch this. Enjoy this. One of the best Jam episodes, and one of the best episodes in the series hands down.

Season 3

The thing about Season 3 is -- while Season 2 was kind of Jim’s story, Season 3 is Pam’s story - and it’s one of my favorite arcs of any TV show. Again, while not all the episodes are essential, Pam (and Jam) get developed in every single episode - so I do recommend seeing all of Seasons 2 and 3, but it’s not required.

Gay Witch Hunt - Michael finds out Oscar is gay. Jim and Pam miss each other. Not essential, and does contain one of the most cringy moments of the show, but it does show the resolution of Casino Night, and you’ll probably end up watching it anyway, even if I don’t mark it as essential.

The Convention - Michael and Dwight meet up with Jim at a convention. Pam goes on a date. Good episode, little things sprinkled throughout.

The Coup - Dwight tries to get Michael fired. This one is dark. Pam gets new clothes, Jim plays Call of Duty. It’s well written, but again, very dark.

Grief Counseling - Michael is upset that his former boss has died, and so Pam helps him grieve. Great Pam development in this one.

**The Initiation - Dwight takes Ryan to his beet farm. I love this episode, it’s hilarious. There’s also a huge Jim/Pam thing at the end, worth watching.

Diwali - Kelly invites the office to her Diwali celebration. This one is a bit cringy. Some good bits, though, with Pam coming out of her shell a bit.

**Branch Closing & The Merger - kind of a two parter. I recommend both of them, because they’re both good episodes (though The Merger has some high cringe) and some good Jam development going on.

The Convict - Michael finds out one of the employees has been to prison. I don’t think it’s as cringy as it might seem. Jim gets Andy to hit on Pam by using all the things she hates - it’s classic, and the main plot can be skipped if you only want to see the Jam stuff.

**A Benihana Christmas - It’s hard to explain - lots of Xmas things going on - and possibly the best Xmas special they do, so I do recommend it.

Back from Vacation - Mostly about Michael trying to cover up the fact that he sent a nude photo of his gf to the company. It’s not that bad. There is an essential Pam moment where she breaks down and is comforted by Dwight, but the rest of the episode isn’t essential at all.

**Traveling Salesman & The Return - All the salesmen pair up to go on sales calls, and Oscar returns to the office. Another 2 parter of sorts. Andy gets a bit much, but otherwise, they’re really solid and entertaining episodes across the board, with a bit of Jam development.

**Ben Franklin - Michael throws a bachelor party in the office, and to even it out, throws a bachelorette party for the girls. Their stripper is Ben Franklin. Some cringy stuff here, but not too bad - and I think the Pam story line is worth it.

Phyllis’s Wedding - this has some of the most cringy stuff in the show. However, if you skip the wedding and go to the reception, there’s some great stuff -- including some delicious angst for Jam.

Business School - A majority of this is Michael going to Ryan’s business school, and Jim convincing Dwight he turned into a vampire. Not a lot here - but the ending with Pam’s art show is great in Pam’s arc.

Cocktails - Michael, Dwight, and Jim go out to a corporate party while Pam and the rest of the office go out for drinks. I’m a bit meh on the episode, but some good Pam development in this one.

The Negotiation - A lot of it is focused on Darryl wanting a raise, and therefor Michael asking for a raise. This ties up some Pam story loose threads so worth it for that.

Safety Training - Like the Injury, this is not essential at all, but I think it’s one of the funniest episodes, and I do recommend it on that merit alone.

Product Recall - the office deals with having to recall a product. There is really zero Jam stuff in it. This is really the only one of seasons 1-3 that I have a tendency to skip when I’m just wanting to watch for Jam related stuff. But it’s not that bad (comparatively to stuff later on).

**Women’s Appreciation - Phyllis is flashed, so this leads to Michael wanting to appreciate women more. It’s actually very good, and a great Pam story line.

**Beach Games -- Yes, watch this episode, it’s amazing, and possibly one of my favorites -- plus one of the best Pam moments on the show.

**The Job -- also yes, watch this, it’s kind of the conclusion of the original Jam arc.

I can’t stress it enough, though, in order for The Job to land, I really, really recommend watching all of seasons 2 and 3.

Okay, so because there are a lot of episodes here, and seasons 4+ are a little different, I’m gonna change up this guide a little.

Season 4

Season 4 is shorter because the writer’s strike happened then. There are a lot of delicious Jam moments, and the show is still functioning pretty well as a sitcom (though it steers into more cartoonish when Michael drives literally into a lake). I recommend watching the whole season, but highlight episodes are ---

Fun Run (not the best - but great Jam stuff, and resolution to The Job); Money (Jam visits Dwight’s farm); Local Ad (it’s just a fun episode); Dinner Party (Michael and Jan host a dinner party - considered one of the best episodes of the show, but I think that hinges on knowing the characters, so don’t start here, lol); Chair Model (Michael is annoying but great Jam stuff); Goodbye Toby (season finale, lots of good Jam stuff.

Season 5

Season 5 I also recommend watching all of. Jam stuff in pretty much every episode, and it’s still a funny and solid show. However, highlight episodes include --

Weight Loss; Crime Aid; Customer Surveys; Business Trip; Frame Toby; The Surplus; Stress Relief; Lecture Circuit; The Michael Scott Paper Company Arc (Eps 5x20-5x25); Cafe Disco (one of my favorites), and Company Picnic.

Season 6

I feel like if you reach Season 6, you know whether or not you want to keep going. This the first season where I think you can really see a decline in quality. It’s also the first season that doesn’t heavily feature Jim and Pam as earlier seasons, (they are still main characters, so they do get things in every episode, even if it’s not much) and while there are some great episodes, a lot of this season (to me) feels a little meh and boring. However - essential episodes --

Gossip; Niagara; Murder, Sabre (if you want to understand what’s going on in the rest of the show); The Delivery.

Okay, I guess that’s not a whole lot. However -- this season also features an episode I do not go back and watch -- that is the infamous Scott’s Tots. The less said, the better.

Season 7

I like Season 7 a lot better than season 6 - the episodes are better all around, and it’s Steve Carell’s last season. There’s not a ton of Jam stuff here, but more than season 6. (I also like Jim and Pam’s dynamic in this season more than season 6′s). Essential episodes --

Nepotism; Andy’s Play (it’s a musical!); The Sting; Costume Contest; Viewing Party (for the Glee!); Classy Christmas; The Search (if you want to know where my URL comes from); PDA; Threat Level Midnight; Garage Sale; Goodbye Michael (minus the subplots). I don’t really recommend the season finale - Search Committee - but it does set up season 8.

Season 8

Season 8 isn’t very good. It’s not that Steve Carell left, it’s that the show didn’t know what to do because he left -- and despite having some great characters to work with, they end up focusing on Ed Helms and James Spader, too much. You can probably skip to season 9 without missing much, however, there are a few half-way decent things. I wouldn’t call these essential, but in case you want a taste of season 8

The List; Pam’s Replacement (which is really the only Jam stuff this season); Special Projects, Test the Store.

Yeah, that’s kinda it. The post Florida episodes are really terrible (Get the Girl-Fundraiser), and are possibly the worst episodes of the show, so I recommend burying them in the sand and not thinking of them.

Season 9

I think season 9 is a little underrated, and while a far cry from its heyday (and still way too much Andy), I think overall it’s rather enjoyable. Also, Jim and Pam get a story line spanning the entire season for the first time since, maybe, season 5 - which is a nice change. It’s a little hit and miss but it’s nice to see them treated as main characters again. Honestly, it’s hard to recommend just a handful - so, really, just watch all of it and skip the Andy stuff.

#the office #okay so it's late and i got tired

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theclaravoyant · 5 years

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Enjoying all your trans appreciation fan works and reblogs so much! I'm not sure if you'll know this but maybe some of your followers might? I have a character in an og work that's trans, but I identify as cis. Do you know of any writing blogs or spaces that could give me advice both on writing a trans character well and also on what plot lines I should or shouldn't give them?

Hi! I am so glad you are enjoying the works! Thanks for the ask, I will do my best to answer below the cut.

The first thing to think about is that everyone has different perspectives on what should be expected when writing experiences that aren’t necessarily your own, and what counts as ‘your own’ experiences. The number one piece of advice everyone gives is “do your research, listen to trans people” which is super important but I promise you, it will get confusing and possibly nervewracking trying to do it ‘right’ the more perspectives you hear. Yay. Just do your best and somebody somewhere will appreciate it; as with any writing and representation, remember that you will never be able to please everybody and as hard as that is, it’s just reality. You’re also not pleasing anybody by not writing trans characters at all, so you already can’t win. I will start off to say, as a nonbinary (trans) person, thank you for trying and for reaching out, and I hope others appreciate that effort too.

For me personally, I try to strike a balance which an author described once along the lines of “I can include [x people] in my stories, but I can’t write about being [x].” There are certain inner lives and experiences of people eg. from different cultures, different religions, different gender experiences etc than ourselves that we may never be able to fully capture, so we may be limited in the depths to which we can authentically explore their inner lives, BUT we can and should still include such characters. They may not necessarily be able to be our most main characters, due to these limitations in depth and authenticity, but we can still populate our world with them. I think this is where you should consider aiming if you aren’t already.

Finding this balance feeds into the sort of ‘stories you shouldn’t tell’ idea. The main three to avoid are all somewhat intertwined and they are:

- depression- voyeurism- guilt

Similarly to with a lot of same sex attracted characters, trans people tend to be most tired of our stories being about the Struggle, depression/suicide, abuse etc. It’s a valid consideration since it’s such a reality for many trans people, but it’s pretty much all the stories we have. (There’s also plenty of struggle for the parents coming to terms with things etc......... bit over that focus too tbh). This article calls it ‘the cis gaze’ and it dominates the current media landscape when it comes to trans stories; we’re getting more of them, but they’re all the same. Think of just about any mainstream trans story and then... try something else)

Also, a lot of trans stories still end up being kind of... voyeuristic? There’s a lot about transition, surgery, and especially body parts and sex, and it’s kinda objectifying and gross. There’s also the concept of deadname reveals - a deadname being usually the name assigned at birth, which falls out of use and can even be triggering when a person realises they are trans and/or transitions. I personally don’t mind the occasional deadname reveal and similar in stories, especially when the “trans people are inherently deceptive” trope is subverted, but seriously it is in SO MANY trans stories, usually as a Shocking Twist that doesn’t let trans people have a right to privacy of their backstories. Of course, there’s lots in any character’s backstory that is vulnerable to become a shocking twist, but with trans people it comes with added baggage of being outed against our will and being treated as inherently deceptive for trying to live our lives. There’s extra weight to shocking twists of a trans nature (whereas if the trans character’s shocking twist was, they were born in a different country or they’re actually an expert marksman or something, that’s got less baggage - you can still do twists! just be mindful of ones where transness of the character is the ‘punchline’ if you will). If you can avoid deadnaming altogether, I would recommend that, or at least or subvert it (eg, someone finds out deadname, doesn’t feel need to reveal this to the universe and/or helps keep it quiet) or discourage it (eg. only this character’s abusive parents deadname them).

The main thing with this is, don’t make the trans character feel guilty about being trans, or seem shady/deceptive or incomplete for being trans. Don’t frame it like it’s some terrible secret, or that they Must reveal that they are trans or else they’re lying to their friends/partner/etc. This is one of the reasons why deadname reveals are so problematic, whether they are done by another character (outing someone against their will... don’t make good guys do this) or by the character themselves out of a sense of obligation, fear, or shame.

DON’T, DO NOT HAVE TRANS VILLAINS PLEASE. I just don’t think we’re at a place yet where there’s enough balance for this to be equal. It tends to get at the whole “men disguise themselves as women to rape women” thing which is a big ew especially because real transphobes really exist and really think this.

Also, avoid “she used to be a dude” jokes or similar, especially when met with unimaginable horror/being a dealbreaker (sitcoms i’m looking at you)

Don’t worry though, there are a lot of things you CAN do to make good trans rep. A few things that I think are good are:

- if your character has physically or medically transitioned in some way, reference that; it doesn’t require mentions of genitals. maybe someone has to shave their face more often, take injections, wear or not wear a binder

- treat transition as an ongoing processes rather than a single cathartic moment

- maybe the character has an odd or unusual name, or goes by many names in different contexts

- maybe the character has a dark past that may include some of the above, but now they are living healthily and happily; this is more important than never having gone through the above

- the character is likely to be sensitive to misgendering (eg. if they are a man, being mistaken for a woman or described in feminine terms)

- give the character dreams and goals outside of transitioning

- explore and respect the diversity of trans experiences; it is not as straightforward as being ‘a man/woman trapped in a woman/man’s body’ (and while we’re at it, not every trans person aggressively hates or is traumatised by their body - if you want more on dysphoria I can definitely talk about that but this is getting a bit long so I’ll press on for now)

- involve the characters in loving romantic relationships; trans people, and especially trans women, tend to be really hypersexualised (even when seen as simultaneously repulsive), not as complete beings with love lives (and/or regular, healthy sex lives that aren’t inherently perverted pornographic messes). mixing this up is refreshing

- don’t only have one trans character. not saying that you have to think up a whole gaggle of trans folk in detail, make trans mainstream in your mythical society, or have 3/9 squad members be trans or something, but for example, maybe the trans character lives out of home with other trans characters, or maybe if they are feeling isolated from other trans people over the course of the story, they seek out an environment where other trans people are and all they need to mention is “I went down to [known queer hangout] the other day” or “this is my new friend, [new trans person]”. maybe a character finds out this character is trans and goes “oh yeah, like aunt such and such.” I know the struggle as a writer that comes with trying to do everything in depth and well and all, so something like this is a good way to signal that trans people aren’t alone in your world - which is something that many of us feel irl

- and above all, give them ‘normal’ character storylines that don’t revolve around them being trans, and then weave the transness through, rather than treating transness as their entire plot/point of being.

There are some more articles here and here, I have heard this is good, and there is more and more coming out lately (eg this tag) which may help you from here. I am happy to give further advice or detail if you like, but I hope this is a good starting point for you!

#writing #writing trans characters #trans characters #asks #replies #Anonymous #ask me stuff

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fracturedsword · 5 years

Text

MUNDAY.

GENERAL

Name: Karin Birthday: August 27th Sexual Orientation: Asexual Dad’s Name: Göran (but I’d be perfectly happy to pretend he doesn’t exist) School Status: too old for school

YES/NO

Drink?: No Smoke?: No Eat cake?: Yes Believe in True Love?: I believe true love is something you create, not that you find. Afraid of the dark?: I got anxiety, anything can make me jump, but no the dark doesn’t make me more jumpy than anything else Cat person: Sure

FAVORITES

Shampoo: Currently trying tea tree oil, my hair smells like mint! Disney song: Oh dear this is a hard one, but The Elephant Parade is stuck in my head at the moment for reasons (skip to about 1:50) Actress: I don’t pay enough attention to TV and movies to have one tbh. Person: My husband. He’s the kindest, most patient person I know and always manages to make me feel a bit better when I’m down (which is more often than it should be cause depression) Type of Weather: Right now? Autumn. September - October when all the leaves are starting to turn, it’s still warm but you can get those biting cold winds. Color: Black and certain shades of purple 90s Sitcom: Literary hated all of them, sorry.

QUESTIONS

What is your special talent/skill as a roleplayer? Random headcanons and ideas. If we’ve written together at all odds are I have a bunch of random little ideas and headcanons for our muses i’m just dying to share. And if I don’t I’ll be happy to do a random info dump on headcanons about my muse when you least expect it.

What is your favorite type of roleplay genre, and why? I’m a sucker for hurt/comfort things but I try to balance it with having at least a few fluffy things going on at any given moment. Overall I’m way more interested in exploring how characters get along and what might happen if you change just one little thing here or there than I am in writing a big, action driven plot.

Why did you pick your muse? It was a pretty slow process that started out with me writing fanfic. At first I wasn’t a big fan of Michael but I found it easy to get into his head for writing. Then I ended up wanting to get into roleplaying, and after some encouragement from a dear friend I ended up here, with Mikey as my main muse.

If you could write any other muse - but know you don’t have the muse for him/her - who would it be? Lucifer. I love him but he hates being written by me, it’s like pulling teeth.

What is one thing you think you need to work on for a partner? Consistency in my writing, both quality and length. I have an ugly habit of letting my replies get shorter and shorter when I write and I can easily shrink down a multi paragraph thread to one or two line replies if I don’t watch it.

What would be your warning label to other roleplayers? Will throw random headcanons at you at three am.

What is your favorite episode/scene of your muse? I mean there aren’t that many with him to begin with but I did adore his little chat with Dean back in season 5.

What crack!ships do you have for your muse? None, even crack ships tends to go serious roughly 5 seconds after I think of them.

What is your senpai blog for someone who plays the same muse as you? Theloyalangel ofc. :3

tagged by: taken from @kemuele tagging: @ampersandmuses @thekingsparty @fallcnintohell @dcddyrecper and the rest of everyone.

#dash games #about mun

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jaylos · 7 years

Text

Rant - Rise of the Isle of the Lost

(alternative title: i read rise of the isle of the lost so you don’t have to)

first off i’m probably biased but if you got something out of my opinions in the past then maybe you’ll find this interesting as well.

there are spoilers, obviously, but if you ask me, you really don’t have to read the book, save your money. (i put a short summary under the cut so you know what’s going on)

i’m gonna be honest this turned more into “i’m picking this book apart” than just a rant lmao. i blame the excessive amount of cinemasins i’ve been watching over the past few days.

and be warned - this is gonna be LONG and not very nice.

~summary if you haven’t read the book~ Arabella (Ariel’s niece) snatched the trident to fuck around, causes a storm, and loses it in the ocean. Waves carry it through the barrier to isle territory, because the barrier is penetrable for a short amount of time due to Arabella’s magic fuckery i think.

Uma hears a rumor that the trident is here, but she has no way to get to it before someone else finds it.

Captain Hook hosts a race where everyone can enter with anything that can swim, the price is a pirate ship. Uma wins the race and now has a ship and a pirate crew consisting of Harry, Gil and a few others.

Through Sophie (Yen Sid’s apprentice) they learn that Ursula’s golden seashell necklace is on the Isle of the Doomed (where Maleficent’s castle is) and they sail there to find it, because there’s enough magic left in it to guide them to the trident or something.

They find the trident but then Mal&Co show up.

While all this is happening Arabella tells the rotten four that she lost the trident, and through the magic mirror they find out where it is, and that a lot of people on the isle of the lost are looking for it, so they set out to find it first. FGM catches them as they try to steal a boat that belongs to Ben’s family, but Ben shows up to convince FGM that it was fine. The five of them then drive the boat to the barrier, where Mal pokes a hole and calls the trident to her, just as Uma is about to get her hands on it, overpowering Uma.

There’s also a sideplot where Ben goes to the great wall of China with Lonnie to solve a conflict between two villages but this is all totally irrelevant.

~end of summary~

and just to get this out of the way - don’t give me that “it’s a book for children” bs. just because it’s for a younger demographic doesn’t mean it can’t be good.

ok let’s start with the things i liked:

- Lonnie has a sword (which is a clear sign of lesbianism)

- Jane wants to do magic and she wants to help people fairy godmother style. i love this because 1. it gives her more personality and 2. it’s exactly how i imagined her lmao.

- Mal uses magic despite the magic ban.

- i like Gil, he’s kinda cute. and Harry too, and the dynamic between him and Uma and Gil. (ot3 anyone?)

now to the cons:

- Harry has this obsession with his hook (which he has to hold in his hand cause he still has both hands) which i find interesting, it has so much angst potential but i already know i’m gonna have to write a fic about that myself cause it’s gonna be hella disappointing in the movie because either 1. it’s not talked about at all or 2. it’s only good for a joke or two. (”oh no! my hook!” cue sitcom laugh track)

- the use of the word “guyliner”

- CJ is Harry’s younger sister, Harriet is his older sister. the gastons twins are gil’s brothers. Melissa de la Cruz *grasping at straws*: conSisTEnCy

- speaking of consistency, the anti-heroes club isn’t mentioned once, in case you were wondering.

- there’s another school besides dragon hall on the isle, it’s called Serpent Prep. like, i know there are characters (mostly Uma) who appear now for the first time without being mentioned before, ever. i can forgive that. but making up a whole new school just adds to the confusion of how big the isle actually is, and it’s also completely redundant. this world just feels like a car accident where more cars keep crashing into the wrecks that are already blocking the street.

- carlos being in favor of the magic ban. what. remember how he was a slave for the better part of his life? “people should learn to live without magic” suck my toe (i made another post about what i think of the magic ban here)

- idk if this is on melissa de la cruz or what but the writing is just. not good. the sentences are boring, the use of adverbs is weird, the characters are shallow, the worldbuilding is.. idk how to describe it. it’s like when you look at the window of a shop and it looks nice, but when you enter it’s empty. or like a cardboard facade.

- all the characters do and say the things that are most obvious for them, but nothing beyond that. there’s no life in the characters and the world doesn’t draw you in.

- also the pacing is awful. in my first reading session i read about a third but it felt like nothing had happened. there’s so much setting up (and most of it is boring, it feels like every character just appears for their mandatory line but it has no relevance) and i’m just waiting for the plot.

- janelos. if you’re a janelos shipper than good for you, but i’m not and i’m salty. they could have such a great platonic relationship, why why why does it have to be romantic? (don’t bother, i already know the answer) they had a scene together, which was kinda sweet (through my platonic goggles), but “her laugh is cute” is not fucking enough to make a romantic relationship believable.

their entire romantic relationship is built on “he was a boy, she was a girl” and nothing else.

- also devie. i’m pretty indifferent to this ship in general but the way it’s portrayed is so lackluster, like. doug shows up (for no other reason than showing up at least once in this book), is called evie’s boyfriend and that’s kinda it. we didn’t see how they got together, we don’t see what their relationship is like (except doug sorta putting evie on a pedestal), it’s just.. kinda there. wow. so much feeling.

there’s so much time wasted on meaningless worldbuilding that there’s no time left for giving life to the characters and their relationships. (actually there would be time, the book is not that long)

- (safe for uma, harry and gil) this book doesn’t even try to get me to like the main characters and completely relies on the fact that i already know and like them from preceding works.

- there’s always a parallel plot with Ben going on in every book, which is.. not terrible, but especially in this one it’s very distracting from the main plot, besides, what he’s doing is rarely all that interesting. he’s travelling with lonnie and they had a nice scene together but it ended before it got anywhere near interesting. (Lonnie was about to get character development but then it was about Ben the end)

- not that i dislike ben, or that i don’t care for what he’s doing, but his sideplot is kinda just there so that is already short book isn’t even shorter. in the last book it had at least something to do with what the others were doing, but this time it doesn’t have any significance to the main storyline whatsoever. imo they should’ve just cut the whole bit out and put this content somewhere else, idk, give him his own diary or something, but now it’s just annoyingly strewn throughout the actual story.

(edit: you know what nevermind, this whole plotline is bullshit i’m not even gonna go into it but they punch a whole into the great wall of china and i crave Death™)

- the room that is taken up by ben’s sideplot could’ve been used to elaborate the relationships between the characters, or the characters’ inner lives. this book does so much tell not show that everything feels flat. “they’re best friends, they’re boyfriend/girlfriend, they love each other very much” ya thanks for telling me but is anything gonna happen to back these statements up or

- there’s an entire page that’s basically a montage of the pirate crew repairing Uma’s ship and it’s hella redundant (just like 50% of the book tbh)

- somehow interesting scenes are left out and when the plot is picked up again it’s “this happened and now we’re somewhere else”.

- the other characters get a sideplot too, which would be nice except they all have like 1 character trait and it’s all pretty meaningless. plus, the chapters are all super short and jumping between plotlines all the damn time is annoying.

- new characters appear just to be a plot device. happened with freddie and maddie in book 2, happens now with Arabella in book 3. she’s the niece of Ariel, but we don’t know who her mother is (based on her being described as wearing purple i’m gonna guess it’s Alana) which is excuable because i guess you can’t expect the readers to know all the names of Ariel’s sisters, but it just adds to her being a throwaway character. $100 that Arabella won’t appear in dd2.

- actually, going off on a tangent about maddie here, wasn’t her background story basically the same as uma’s? that she was a friend of Mal’s when they were little? whatever happened to her, guess well never know cause she’s never gonna appear again.

- new things are made up just for convenience, or idk maybe it’s supposed to flesh out the world but it all feels so disjointed and loveless. the annual seaside festival (i think it’s called?) where king triton whips out the old trident to give Arabella an opportunity to lose the trident in the first place, the R.O.A.R. competiotion (i forgot what that’s short for too, but it’s a mix of parcour and fencing, whatever) just to give Jay some other purpose besides “is also there” instead of, idk, an actual personality and inner life (but the VK’s dealing with the aftermath of growing up on the Isle is probably too serious and scawy uwu) like idk it’s probably the same in a lot of other stories, but instead of giving life to this world it all feels meaningless (like 98% of wicked world tbh)

- Lonnie has an older brother who wants to launch a hiphop career, and his name is Li’l Shang, which is an absolute fucking joke and takes the cake for worst name in this franchise.

- Ursula’s golden seashell is on the isle because for some reason it didn’t make it to Auradon where it was supposed to be displayed at the museum. i get that they want to use what they can from disney movies but this is just bullshit. the seashell being on the isle makes no fucking sense whatsoever.

- the critical overuse of the word “swaggered”

- seriously it’s like de la cruz saw one of those “words to use instead of walked”- tumblr posts and picked two (swaggered and sauntered)

- almost halfway through, wondering if there’s gonna be a plot

the things in this story just sorta happen, there’s no real suspense curve.

- ok this is really subjective but “Lost Revenge” for a name for a ship is so unnecessarily edgy lmao

- i’m writing most of this stuff as i come across it and at this point i’m just groaning in agony. they just introduced a new character, Sophie, who is Yen Sid’s sorcerer’s intern. intern for sorcery. on the isle of the lost. sure. also, apparently yen sid brought her with him when he moved to the isle like???? i mean the people of auradon already didn’t give a shit about the children that were born on the isle, but they just let yen sid take a little girl with him??? what the fffffffff (also sophie is another throwaway character that will never appear again. i’m blaming this on the fact that there are approximately 462 different canons in this franchise and we don’t get the chance to get attatched to characters that only function as plot devices in whatever canon they appear in)

- a new character called Charlie is introduced as the village elder of Stone Village (china, next to the wall) and he’s only a few years older than ben. he’s the descendant of ??? (molly and arthur weasly, probably) (seriously this is a throwaway character if i’ve ever seen one)

- mal’s morals are inconsistent. she has no problem using her spellbook for minor inconveniences but doesn’t want to steal a boat because it’s not the auRaDOn wAy.

- evie scolding mal for using the spellbook too often because that way she’ll never learn to live without magic (yadda yadda) but she also does this when mal opens a gate with magic in order to get to the boat they are going to steal, even though the matter is pretty time-sensitive and they had no other way of getting around that gate. like i get the idea of “solving problems without magic”, but this was really not the time to play moralizer, evie.

- there’s a yacht club building and FGM is giving it a new coat of paint with her wand solving problems without magic eat my entire ass.

she keeps using her wand!!! what the fuck!!!!

- i’m not going to go into detail over this but everything falls into place so conveniently that there aren’t really any obstacles to overcome and every conflict is solved within a matter of sentences.

- there are small cliffhangers every 200 words because it keeps jumping between plotlines. before you even get the chance to get into one of the plotlines it’s over again and it takes ages for anything to move along cause the stories keep interrupting each other.

- i’m losing my fucking mind over here as we speak. FGM catches the rotten four trying to steal a boat and she seriously thinks sending them back to the isle is an appropriate punishment. this is absolutely ludicrous and completely disproportionate. “this is exactly what we feared when we let villains into Auradon” they! are! children! (i know technically they’re teens but this doesn’t change the fact that imprisoning them on the isle again is super fucking cruel) i can’t believe how terribly literally everything is handled in this goodforsaken fantasy world. (not to mention that this is an insult to the character of FGM)

- so it’s been established that Mal can turn back time and she uses it when Uma reaches the trident. mal turns back time, uma doesn’t have the trident yet. so far so good, right?

look, i know time travel stuff is always prone to plotholes, but this is just ridiculous. 1. when she first uses it she comes to the conclusion “those with villain blood appear to be immune”, because evie wasn’t affected by it. it works on uma (though she remembers reaching the trident but doesn’t understand what happened) and it’s not made clear how it actually affects someone with villain blood. the setup for this whole shtick was weak. idk if i explained that well enough but you can ask me if you want a more detailed explanation i still have salt left lmao. 2. through carlos we know the others felt it happending, but what about ben? they don’t explain it to him even though he should have no memory of mal turning back time. 3. this book had all the time in the world to make this universe’s rules of time travel a little more clear (like why did nothing happen to both uma’s row boat and the speedboat? do objects not get set back in time too?) 4. one rule was explained tho: “it only turns back time to the top of the hour, and only if it’s been less than fifteen minutes” so mal might only have turned back time for like 1 minute, which would explain why the boats remain in the same spot, but it doesn’t change the fact that everything conveniently falls into place again because it just so happens to be *just* the right time for it to work (meaning no more than 15 minutes after a full hour) which in turn makes me wonder why this “top of the hour” rule was established in the first place. they could’ve just left that bit out and this whole thing wouldn’t be another case of dumb luck for the protagonists. i guess i’ll just go fuck myself.

- ok safe for that time travelling bs the last third is actually a lot okay-er than the rest. there was a cool scene where harry fell down a hole and was scared an panicking. this and the whole pirate-crew-escapes-from-a-trap-filled-cave was the best part of the book imo.

- after the great showdown between uma and mal (where they’re not actually face to face due to the barrier and thick fog, which is kind of a cool way to safe their encounter for the movie, i’ll give them that) mal stumbles backwards when she caught the trident and accidentally knocks evie overboard, which is completely unnecessarily dramatic, because the climax is already over, and is just there to show once again how gay mal and evie are for each other, without actually delivering. same old. (there’s also a scene where evie looks at mal “with a fond smile” while she’s sleeping like come on. those two scenes contain more feeling than any interaction between ben and mal ever. and at the end there is an exchange between the two that literally, like word for word, draws parallels to an interaction between ben an mal like are you kidding me)

- Evie says several times that Mal shouldn’t use magic, which is not too out of character i guess, i mean Evie has enough baggage concerning magic that this is believable.

she did use her mirror a lot, which is clearly magic, but somehow this is different from mal solving a problem with her spellbook?? hypocritical much. and it kinda retcons on the whole setup of her not being comfortable with magic.

in the end she gives her mirror to the museum, but it wasn’t her idea. it would’ve tied in with her previous statements a lot better if she herself had been like “i should give up my mirror so i have consistent characterization”

- Audrey dumps Chad for reasons unknown. not that i care all that much about that ship (i do think it’s interesting tho) but idk is this just so the movie doesn’t have to explain why they aren’t together anymore? (would be kinda lazy) felt like it was just there for cheap laughs.

- i’m surprised Jay didn’t get an Obligatory Love Interest™ but actually i’m not surprised because none of the writers care about jay.

- you might remember R.O.A.R. (the fencing/sword fighting-parcour-clusterfuck-sport). so chad was the captain of the team and has practised sword fighting all his life, but jay manages to beat him after a total amount of? 3? or so hours of training? and immediately becomes the new captain? bull

- also jay is supposedly really good at parcour, right? but he needed to practise wall jumps cuz his technique was bad or something for some reason. why tho. isn’t parcour his forte and why did carlos make the team before jay did. like not saying he can’t do roar but come on.

honestly tho, i kinda set myself up for this. i mean i already didn’t like the second book but for some reason i thought this one was going to be different.

the writing, characterization, worldbuilding etc. is just really lazy to me, and tbh i think it just exists to squeeze more money out of this franchise.

other people with different expectations and lower standards for writing might enjoy this tho idk

#disney descendants #rise of the isle of the lost #rise of the isle of the lost spoilers #rant

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