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#I think we all know how this is gonna end
vexwerewolf · 1 day
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why is it that we only have like two licenses from any mech producer that’s a good guy? For a game where like there are clear good and bad guys (even if who you play isn’t necessarily linked to that) it seems strange to me that the only loot and XP you get is… more benefits from the bad guys
I can tell you the answer, but to do so, we're gonna have to talk about a completely different TTRPG.
If you've read @makapatag's truly excellent Filipino martial arts TTRPG Gubat Banwa (and if you haven't, here it is), you may notice that every single character class description (with one notable exception) ends with one of these babies:
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I am not Makapatag, and I cannot write with quite as much grace and eloquence as he can, but I will try:
If you choose to become a Lancer, ask yourself why you mock the name of peace with these weapons of war. You call yourself a saviour, but your steed was forged from the murder of a world. You stride across the sky in a colossus built in your own image, so why are you too cowardly to give it your face? Why do you believe these machines of death can preserve life?
It is important to note that the admonitions in Gubat Banwa are not just there to make you feel bad; they are there as legitimate questions. The Sword Isles have seen so much blood, death and tragedy. Wars are not glorious and killing is not a game. So, knowing all of that, why have you taken up this discipline - no matter how noble and virtuous it might claim to be - to shed more blood, to bring more death, to write more tragedy? What could possibly drive you to this? What need is so great that you must kill?
The thing with Gubat Banwa is that there are legitimate answers to these questions! There are bad people doing bad things, and some of them will not be stopped with words or kindness. Sometimes, as sorrowful as it is, killing is the correct choice to prevent greater suffering and deeper tragedy - but adding less misery and death to the world is still adding some amount of it. Even the most necessary wars will drench the ground in the blood of the innocent.
A sword is a tool meant to kill humans; while it can be used for other things, it is not well-suited to anything other than this. A mech is, in its most basic essence, just a very complicated sword: it's usually used on things larger than a person, but it's still a tool built to kill.
So why have you taken up this path? Humanity was saved from the brink of extinction and has created wondrous technologies like printers, cold fusion and mind-machine interface, and yet you use them to play soldier in a giant metal man. Why do you choose to take up this machine of death, built by the greedy and pitiless? Why do you think these machines can ever make things right?
Because sometimes, despite everything, they can.
Warhammer 40K shows an awful world full of monsters and monstrosity, and in the darkest moments of its history, Lancer's world looked just as bleak, but Lancer's world differs in one crucial way. Warhammer's world has long given up trying to be better, but Lancer's world never did. Lancer's world kept insisting a better world is possible, and it used what tools it had to make it so.
Sometimes the correct choice, no matter how bitter it may seem, is to kill someone. When you need to do this, a sword is a perfectly good choice for the job.
If you find yourself discomforted by the fact that all the people you can buy mechs from are corrupt and immoral - good! You have correctly engaged with the text. You have understood that the sort of people who would make giant walking death machines and sell them for profit are not good people. But you still have a job to do, and you need the correct tools, and those people have them.
Lancer is not a game about a perfect world - it is a game about a deeply flawed and imperfect one that does not let its imperfection stop it from trying. You have to try to make a better world, even with imperfect tools made by unpleasant people.
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youaintnothinbuta · 3 days
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“I’m willing to bet you’d make some pretty little noises.” — Austin Butler x reader
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Summary: You and austin are co starring in a movie which you’re currently in the process of filming for. After a particularly long day, he walks back to the hotel with you. You confide in him, explaining that you’re nervous about the sex scenes you have to film. You invited him to have a drink with you before he headed back to his own room, and one thing lead to another. Needless to say, filming a sex scene will no longer be the most intimate you and Austin have ever gotten.
Pairing: Austin Butler x fem!reader
Word count: 1,600
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, mature language, she/her pronouns, unprotected sex, p in v, oral (f & m receiving)
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“Hey.” Austin greeted you as he pushed open the door to your trailer, letting in some of the cool night air. It was late, it had been a long day shooting and you and him having leading roles meant you had the most screen time, and consequently the most hours on set.
“Hey.” You replied, sighing.
“Just came to ask if you wanted to head back to the hotel together? I don’t feel right letting you walk back alone this late.” He spoke as he sat down in your hair and makeup chair, as you were doing up your shoes.
“I’d really appreciate that. I have an unopened bottle of wine there, if you’d like to have a drink with me.”
“Of course.”
He fiddled around with all the things scattered over the surfaces, opening and closing a compact as he waited for you to get your coat on.
The pair of you left your trailer and began your way back to the hotel that most the cast and crew were staying at, which was barely a 10 minute walk from your shooting location. You could’ve had a car pick you up if you really wanted, but it seemed sort of pointless, especially now that he’d offered to walk with you.
You accidentally let a heavy sigh slip from your mouth, lost in thought.
“What’s up?” He asked.
Damn, didn’t mean for that to be out loud.
You decided to fess up to him. “I’m nervous for tomorrow.” You sighed again, looking up at him.
Tomorrow was day one of two, of shooting the few intimate scenes your character and his shared. The thought of having to pretend to— it was just slightly humiliating to think about. Austin smiled a little, placing a hand on your hip momentarily to guide you towards the lobby of the hotel.
“It won’t be any different to rehearsal,” he chuckled, “and we can have a closed set.”
“It will be different, there aren’t cameras in rehearsal,” you argued.
“You do know we’re not actually going to have sex?” Austin teased as you headed to the elevator.
“Obviously!” You gave him a playful shove, “it’s just embarrassing. I don’t wanna make those weird faces and noises.”
He laughed as he pressed the button numbered ‘14’ after you stepped inside. “What weird faces and noises?”
“I’m not doing them in front of you.” You protested.
“Why not? You’re gonna have to tomorrow.”
“So will you.” A wry smile tugged at your lips as you exchanged glances.
“I know, I’m not embarrassed,” he took the keycard out of your hand, scanning it at opening the door for you.
“Besides,” he paused, “I’m willing to bet you’d make some pretty little noises.” His demeanour changed as he dropped the keycard down on the table, looking over at you, sitting on the end of the bed.
You looked up at him, “how much?”
Your heart pounding in your chest as he knelt before you. He extended his arms out, undoing of the buckles on your heels, gently sliding them off your feet.
Austin's smile widened, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Enough to make it worth your while.”
He stared at you for a moment longer, trying to read your expression.
The room was bathed in a soft, warm glow, the muted hum of the air conditioning providing a soothing backdrop. Austin stood up and moved towards the kitchenette. He reached for the bottle of wine sitting on the counter, the one you mentioned earlier, pouring two glasses.
He handed you a glass, his fingers brushing against yours, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You took a sip, the rich, velvety taste of Cabernet washing over your tongue, before setting the glass down on the table.
Austin moved closer, his eyes locked onto yours, a silent question in his gaze. You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest as he closed the distance between you. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close, the heat of his body radiating through your clothes.
His lips met yours, soft and tender, a gentle kiss that helped your body relax, the tension of the day releasing as your lips parted to make room for his.
Austin's hands roamed your body, exploring every curve and contour, as if committing you to memory. You ran your fingers through his hair, his soft strands falling through your fingertips like silk.
He pulled back, his eyes dark with desire. “Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
You nodded, your heart pounding in your chest. “Yes,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
Austin's lips curled into a soft smirk, a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Then let's take our time.”
He picked up both glasses, handing you yours. After sharing a couple more drinks, he scooped you up in his arms, carrying you towards the bed, the weight of your bodies sending the mattress sinking beneath you. He laid you down gently, his eyes never leaving yours, before joining you, his body pressing against yours, as you both relished in heat and want.
As the night went on, your bodies grew clumsy, your movements slow and deliberate. Austin's lips met yours again, his kiss deep and passionate.
Austin pulled you into his lap, his hands settling on your hips as he ground against you, still fully clothed, apart from his shirt which you encouraged him to take off earlier. You let out a soft moan, your body responding to his touch without a second thought. Austin's breath hitched as he felt your body move against his, his hips rolling up into yours.
“I'm not gonna last very long,” he whispered, his voice strained with desire.
You tugged on his pants, urging him to stand up. Austin obliged, guiding you to your feet as he did the same. You watched as he freed himself from his pants, his cock slapping against his stomach as he did so. His body was perfect. It was exactly as you imagined.
Without hesitation, you undressed yourself, shedding your clothes until you were standing before him, bare. Austin's eyes widened at the sight, his breath hitching as he took in every inch of your exposed skin.
He laid you down on the bed, settling over you as he brushed his lips against yours. “We can stop at any time, remember?” he mumbled, his voice soft and gentle.
You nodded, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair. “I know, Austin,” you murmured, your lips meeting his in a soft kiss.
Austin slowly inserted himself inside of you, your body tensing as you adjusted to him. He waited, his lips brushing against your cheek as he held still, giving you time to become comfortable with him inside of you. Once you were ready, he began to move, his hips rolling against yours as he thrust into you. His cheek brushed against yours, each other’s skin feeling hot to the touch. Each of his thrusts came with a soft, yet masculine moan.
“Where do you want me to cum?” Austin asked, his voice strained with pleasure.
You looked up at him, your eyes meeting his. “My mouth,” you whispered, your lips brushing against his.
Austin nodded, pulling out of you with a soft moan. He settled onto his knees, his cock in his hand as he stroked himself. You knelt before him, your lips wrapping around the head of his cock as you took him into your mouth.
As you sucked on him, his lips released a strung-out groan, and Austin came undone, his body shaking as he spilled himself into your mouth. To his surprise, you swallowed it all, your eyes meeting his as you did so. He chuckled a little at you, he wouldn’t have expected that from you.
You smiled, settling onto your back. Austin looked down at you, his eyes filled with desire. "Do you want to sit on my face?" he asked, his voice filled with need.
You nodded, your body trembling with anticipation. He laid down, propping a pillow up underneath his head. Without hesitation, you straddled his face, he rested his hands on your thighs, your pussy hovering over his mouth. Austin's tongue darted out, licking at your clit as you moaned with pleasure.
You gripped the headboard, your body shaking as Austin held your hips, his tongue exploring every inch of your pussy. You ground against his face, seeking out the release that you knew was coming.
As Austin licked and sucked at your clit, his fingers exploring your pussy, you felt your body trembling with pleasure. You closed your eyes, your head thrown back as you rode his face, your body moving in time with his tongue, moans and profanity falling from your lips.
With a loud cry, you came undone, your body shaking as Austin held you against him, his tongue lapping at your juices as they flowed over his lips and chin.
As you caught your breath, you looked down at Austin, your eyes meeting his. "Shit, you taste amazing," he whispered, his lips brushing against your pussy. He helped you off of him. He brushed his thumb over your cheeks and your chest, both of which were bright red and hot to the touch with sex flush.
“You’re beautiful,” he mumbled, taking in the sight of you in your post-orgasmic state.
"Will you stay with me tonight?" you asked, your voice soft and gentle.
Austin smiled, his arms wrapping around your waist as he settled beside you. "Of course, I will," he whispered, his lips brushing against your forehead.
“By the way,” he spoke, “I was right.”
You buried your face into the crook of his neck, shyly.
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niningtori · 2 days
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supermodel | part two
part one
pairing: choi beomgyu x you
summary: after finding out one of your closest friends sabotaged your relationship with beomgyu in hopes of having him all to herself, you end up spending a night with him. you may come to regret it when you realize beomgyu may not have been as innocent as he initially seemed.
genre: romance, angst, MELODRAMA, yandere, smut (MDNI!!!)
warnings: MDNI!!! yandere!gyu (super manipulative!gyu at least), more (justified imo) cheating, unprotected sex, oral (m. receiving), creampie, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, pregnancy kink, voyeurism (ig?), dom!gyu, sub!gyu, if i'm missing anything lmk
word count: 6.2k
notes: alright ;_; after much debate i'm reposting this probably only for a few days just so everyone who wanted to read can read it before i (probably) delete again! posting this made me feel rlly insecure for some reason but thanks to my moots and anons i feel a lot better ab it :) at least for a little bit. also, i know the direction may have taken quite the turn but this is genuinely just how it came out 😭 if you don't like it i'm sorry ( ཀ͝ ∧ ཀ͝ )
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it’s hard to reason with beomgyu as he presses hot kisses down your neck, but it’s not like you’re not trying. you think you’re trying really hard, actually, but it’s nothing in comparison to the effort he’s putting in to make you lose your mind. you have no control over your moans when he sucks a hickey into your neck. you feel heat pooling in your stomach as he grabs your ass and snakes his other hand up your hoodie to catch one of your hardened nipples between his fingers. he’s finally tasted you and, like a man starved, he’ll be damned before someone takes away what’s his.
“b-beomie, we can’t! let’s go back to my place, at least,” you try to reason, but your resolve is weakening as you feel your pussy wetten under his caresses. 
“shh, hana’s not gonna be home tonight,” he whispers. “just want you so bad, can’t wait.” he looks so earnest, you can’t bear to part from him. his puppy eyes look devastated, so what else can you do besides relent? and he knows it, too. now he’s got you. 
he leads you to hana’s bedroom, where he’s spent countless nights listening to her talk about how much she loves him, has loved him for years. he wants to roll his eyes at this, but he doesn’t want you to misunderstand, so he keeps it to himself. he’ll admit, she really did pull the wool over his eyes when she said you didn’t like him, so he can’t wait to see her reaction when she realizes you two have finally figured it out. if she wants to play dirty, they can both try their hand and see who wins. 
and it feels an awful lot like he’s winning when he sees you undress once again, body bare with traces of him on every part of you. even if he hadn’t marked you up so much, and he has, there’s still evidence of his impact on you leaking out of your pussy. you letting him come inside was truly unexpected, but welcome, nonetheless. he knows, when you’ve sobered up from your lustful daze, you’ll ask him if he’s ever fucked hana raw. you’ll probably cry again and rush to get plan b, but he’ll tell you he’s not stupid. he’d never fuck anyone without protection, especially someone he likes as little as he likes hana. he just likes you so much, he couldn’t help but want to feel you. you’re everything he dared to wish you would be. even better, actually, and now that he’s tasted you, he never wants to stop. 
the feeling of wanting to be close to you reemerges when he sees you dropping to your knees for him. you fiddle with the zipper of his pants and he sighs when cool air meets his bare cock. and you're so perfect with your makeup smudged, hair in disarray, and mouth open, prettily presented for fucking.
you start with a lick of your lips and he’s already rock hard from the anticipation. you grab his base and tease little licks up and down his length. he never thought he’d be particularly into that, really, but you look so hungry for him it makes him whine. finally, you lick the precum off of his tip and he moans when you shallowly take in the tip of his cock, hollowing out your cheeks. you bob your head shallowly and it’s taking every ounce of self control he has not to grab the back of your head and shove himself down your throat. but he doesn’t want to hurt you, so he lets you tease him. for now, at least. you take more and more of him into your warm mouth until you can feel his tip searing the back of your throat. you can’t possibly fit all of him into your mouth, so you take the rest of him in your hands. you look up at him with watery eyes, almost like you’re asking for his approval, and his already thinning patience snaps. he grabs your hair and pumps himself in and out of you. you try to meet his thrusts with teasing swipes of your tongue, never once breaking eye contact. the combination of your gaze and the sight of your drool mixed with his precum dripping out of your mouth drives him crazy. 
“baby, look, you’re drooling all over my cock.” you hum in agreement, but a nasty thought crosses his mind as he remembers that you almost went out with another man tonight.
“mmm, who taught you how to use that slutty little mouth?” he asks, riling himself up for reasons unknown. the thought of someone else seeing you like this is enough to push him to madness. he fucks himself into your mouth mercilessly. you’re coughing and slobbering all over his cock, but it’s only when hot tears pour down your face that he registers what he’s doing. how can he bear to hurt you? he pulls out and you’re gasping for air. 
“shh, it’s okay, you’re okay. c’mere,” he coos, leading you to the bed.
you lay down shakily and he takes a moment just to admire your body and the work he’s done to it. he can’t control the want in his gaze when he sees your pussy dripping on hana’s comforter. it’s sick to see, in a way, but it excites him even more. 
“turn around,” he commands, and you would, you really, really would, but your limbs feel so weak, it’s a chore. he sighs and roughly turns you on your stomach himself. he manhandles you into kneeling on all fours and it’s all you can do not to buckle under such force, but you can’t deny the way it makes your pussy clench around nothing when he does this. as if he can read your mind, he lets out a soft laugh as he lines himself up with your entrance and pushes himself in. you’ve obviously just fucked, but you’re still as tight and hot as the first time. slowly, he feels you stretch and spasm to accommodate his length – pussy gripping him like a vise. he shakes when he feels himself completely sheathed in you. 
“g-good girl,” he praises. “so good for me.” then, without giving you another moment to adjust, he begins thrusting into you. his hips meet your ass and he’s awestruck by the sight of it as the tip of his cock kisses your cervix relentlessly. as he’s pumping into your heat, you don’t mean for your arms to give out from under you, but they do. he’s just fucking you so good you can’t help but feel weak. he chuckles at how you’re becoming undone after just a few strokes, but truthfully? he’s endeared. you were so brave in talking back to him earlier, but that attitude is completely gone as you lay there and let him take you over and over again. 
“nghh… not so hard, beomie,” you moan. 
“is it good, baby? i can feel you milking my cock. tell me it’s good, or i’ll stop,” he threatens.
“mmm, ‘s good! too good!”! you cry.
you’re so busy moaning out beomgyu’s name with your face mashed in the pillows, you really don’t hear the apartment door open and keys being thrown carelessly on the table, but as for beomgyu? he hears it all and it brings a mean, lopsided grin to his face. you’d think he would, at the very least, slow down, but he only rams harder and harder into you. the sound of wetness and skin slapping skin echo throughout the room. hana really wasn’t supposed to be home, this much is true, but what beomgyu didn’t tell you is that she had texted him saying her plans have changed and that he should come over. truly, he couldn’t have conjured up a better outcome than the one unfolding before him.
“beomgyu?!” hana shrieks. you’re so surprised you nearly jump out of beomgyu’s grasp, but he holds your ass in place as he continues his thrusts.
“don’t listen to her, just feel me,” he says in a raspy tone. and what can you do besides listen when he drills himself even harder into you? when you feel the veins of his cock dragging against your insides, you’re tuning out hana’s desperate cries, intentionally or not.
“coming inside, okay?” he, well, you would say ‘asks’, but it’s more of a statement of fact rather than a question. “take it all, baby,” he says as his hips begin to stutter. he smacks your ass — just because he can — and you feel it pulsate throughout your entire body as you clench around him, seeing nothing but white behind your eyelids as your release finally comes along with his.
you’re gasping for air when you finish. he carefully pulls out and watches as your cum and his mix together in the most sinful way. it’s a truly a sight to see, and if he had more time, he would be whipping out his phone and capturing the moment to revisit the next time he’s alone, but hana’s words are cutting into his bliss before he can fully appreciate the sight before him.
“b-beomie? w-what’s going on?” hana asks, tears streaming unabashedly down her pretty face. beomgyu is far too preoccupied to appreciate them, though, as he gently helps you sit up and thoughtfully wipes the drool and tears off of your face. 
“‘what’s going on?’” he begins mockingly. “do you really need me to show you again?” he sneers. 
meanwhile, you feel like a deer in headlights as you meet hana’s gaze. you feel dirty and small as you try your damndest to cover yourself up. hana’s soft eyes harden while she stares at you. 
“you. you did this, you fucking slut,” she spits. you break your gaze and stare down at your naked body. you feel incredibly vulnerable because, as you already know, she’s right. you feel your eyes heat up with tears, this time from guilt and humiliation rather than pleasure.
“you’d better watch your fucking mouth,” beomgyu says, eyebrows furrowed and voice even deeper than usual. 
“i just don’t understand. why? why her? and how could you do this to me? you said you loved me!” she shrieks, grabbing beomgyu’s arm. he harshly pulls away and instead collects your sweats and hoodie. you can’t help but stare. he said he loved her then he turned around and fucked you? oh no. 
“well, i lied, if that’s not clear enough,” he shrugs, gingerly dressing you like you’re some kind of catatonic doll. and, right now, you might as well be as you let him do what he wants. his callous words don’t match his gentle actions and it’s making your brain short-circuit. 
“if and when he does the same shit to you,” she says, looking at you with more hurt than you’ve ever seen on a person, “don’t you fucking dare come crying to me. or any of our friends, actually. just wait ‘til they hear what you fucking did.” you shiver at her ominous words. she’s right, after all. beomgyu dropped her the second you showed interest in him, who’s to say he won’t do the same to you? sure, he’s acting lovey dovey now, but you’ve seen firsthand how quickly his tune can change. you’re absolutely fucked. it’s your word against hers, and with the evidence of your betrayal seeping into her sheets, you don’t like your odds. you can’t help but stare at beomgyu, and, as if he’s reading your mind, he says his next words patiently.
“i love you. i would never hurt you like this.” he loves you now? you continue to look at him doubtfully. his words seem cheap after hana’s unforgiving speech, and he realizes he’s losing you when you don’t respond. hana doesn’t stop there, though.
“if he did this to me, i can’t wait to see what he’ll do to you,” she laughs. hana is, objectively speaking, a lot more of a catch than you are. and to the very bitter end, she won’t let you fucking forget it.
“shut your fucking mouth!” he exclaims and she flinches, as do you. you’ve never seen him so angry and it’s enough to scare you. 
“... i should go,” you croak.
“yeah, you should,” hana ridicules. you do an incredibly shaky walk of shame as you quickly gather your things. 
“hey, wait!” he pleads, but you’re already booking it out of the door. he goes to run after you, but hana grabs him forcefully by his shoulder and he spins around to face her. you slam the door, not wanting to know what kind of makeup sex they will probably be having relatively soon. as soon as you’re gone, hana begins.
“are you fucking crazy? her, of all people?!” she hisses.
“i thought i told you to watch how you talk about her,” he says lowly. his eyes are so intense, she’s momentarily stunned, but he’s crazy if he thinks that’ll shut her up. perhaps to her eventual regret, she says her next words.
“if i tell everyone, she’ll be fucking ruined. she’ll have nobody after this.” 
“so?” 
“so, stay with me,” she says softly, while, to his disgust, grabbing his hands and pleading with him. “stay with me, and i won’t tell anybody.” she looks as pathetic as a dog right now, and her words make him laugh in her face.
“tell them,” he says. 
“w-what?” she sputters.
“tell them all. i want you to tell them how i fucked one of your best friends and got her pregnant. tell them how i fucked her raw in your own bed. go on, i’d love to see their reactions when they find out.” 
“you’re… you’re fucking crazy,” she gasps.
“maybe, but not crazy enough to stay with you,” he shrugs. “i got what i wanted, i don’t need you anymore.” for once, she shuts her mouth. the puzzle pieces finally fit together and her jaw drops in awe.
“you did this on purpose?” 
“maybe you’re not as dumb as you look,” he sneers, and with that, he zips up his pants and pats her cheek. “you were okay in bed, but that’s about it.” 
her tears are falling, but that does nothing to mar her beauty. still, his heart remains unfazed. 
“when she finds out, she’ll leave you,” she sobs.
“and who will she believe? her ex friend who’s out to get her, or me? the only person she has left? i’d love to see who she believes.” his words leave her in even more tears, but he does nothing to placate her. he just grabs his shit and slams the door behind him.
-
hana wastes no time in telling your friends about your scandal. your incoming texts range from “what the fuck is wrong with you” to “is it true?” to “you’d better not show your face to us again”.
you attempt to explain yourself, but to no avail. even if hana lied to you first, you committed the ultimate betrayal with a smile on your face. nobody wants to hear your sob story about your forbidden love with beomgyu. nobody, not even your best friend, dares to defend you now.
the one person who’s on your side has been texting you relentlessly, though. beomgyu’s insistence on making sure you’re okay does little to quell the uneasiness in your heart. hana’s words resound in your head. “if he did this to me, i can’t wait to see what he does to you.” you don’t want to give him that chance, but your resolve is weakening when you feel yourself becoming more and more isolated from the people you used to call your friends. 
for days, you don’t leave your house except to go to work. where else can you go? you don’t have anyone to go out with you anymore. still, beomgyu texts and attempts to call you through it all. his messages are all about how much he loves you, how much he misses you, how much he needs you. how much he promises to make things right with you and how you’re the only one he’s wanted all along. more and more, you feel yourself slipping away. even though you never respond, you still sift through his messages and it’s enough to bring smiles, no matter how small, to your face. he loves you, wants you, needs you. who else do you have in your life to say things like that to you? 
still, the thought of trusting him scares you to your bones. what if he does the same shit to you? you don’t have a support system anymore. you don’t have anybody to rely on when he inevitably hurts you in the same way. why wouldn't he, after all? you’re no match for the kind of girls who come his way. what happens when he gets sick of you and wants to fuck another girl in your bed? you’re stuck with these thoughts as you nurse a bottle of vodka, alone in your apartment with nobody but yourself. this is what you deserve, you think. 
a knock on your door is enough to pull you out of your drunken haze. is it one of your friends? could they have finally gotten over their intial shock and disgust and understood that you didn’t mean for any of this to happen the way it did? you stumble to the door and you’re too drunk to even think about checking who it is before desperately swinging open the door. you are not met with the familiar face of one of your friends, however. instead, you see the face of the boy who’s been haunting your dreams for the past few nights.
“beomgyu?” he looks absolutely devastated, eyes reddened and wet with his face ghostly pale. he reeks of alcohol and he stands almost tremblingly. he doesn’t respond to you, just stares at you with the same intensity that entranced you from the very beginning.
“what are you doing here?” you ask. 
“can i come in? please?” you’ve never been able to say no to him, and you especially can’t in his current pathetic state. you move from the doorway to allow him access and quietly shut the door behind him.
“what do you want?” you try.
“want you,” he sobs, tears finally flowing from his sad brown eyes. “only ever wanted you.” your heart aches when you see him like this. you thought hana’s reaction was devastating enough, but he looks absolutely wrecked right now, putting her despair to shame, really. 
“i don’t know what to say,” you admit. “we fucked up, plain and simple. and i don’t know how i can trust you after what we did.” you’re not a victim in this, to be clear, but you’re far too vulnerable to accept the heart that he's holding out for you so carelessly. 
“i know, and i'm sorry. i'm so, so sorry. what can i do to make you trust me?” he begs. your already soft heart softens even more at his words, but you have to be realistic.
“i… i don’t think i can. if you had just talked to me in the first place things could've been different,” you reason. this only puts the boy in an even worse state. he’s almost wailing now, and he looks to you for comfort.
“p-please, just please. give me one chance,” he cries, looking absolutely frantic. “i’ll prove it to you, just let me.” he reaches for your face and you didn’t even realize you’re crying until he swipes away your tears. well, you’re already going to hell. what’s the point in atoning for your sins now? 
as if he can read your mind, he musters up a shaky smile before leaning in and giving you a chaste kiss. his lips taste salty, but sweet, and he’s kissing you with a passion you’ve never felt before. you almost believe him when he says you’re the only one. almost.
“h-how do i know you’re not going to do the same thing to me?” you ask unsteadily. 
“i would never,” he says immediately. “i would never hurt you.” at least, not like this. but you don’t know that yet. 
-
in the weeks following his drunken appearance at your door, being with beomgyu is even better than you thought it would be. it’s like a switch has been turned back on and he’s back to treating you like a princess, almost like the months since your “breakup” never happened. he randomly brings you flowers, showers you with kisses, and he can’t seem to keep his hands off of you along with declarations of love, which you never directly reciprocate. no matter how well he treats you, though, there’s an underlying sense of unease. you still find it difficult to fully trust him, and he can tell. it’s driving him to the brink of madness trying to come up with ways to show you how much he cares.
you’re in the middle of pensively reevaluating the nature of your relationship with beomgyu for the 100th time when you hear a knock on your door. at this point, you don't even bother checking who it is because you already know it'll be beomgyu. no matter how desperately you wish it were one of your ex-friends, you’re always met with his face, instead. you open the door and you’re shocked, to put it mildly. standing before you is not the beomgyu you know and (probably) love, but hana.
“we need to talk,” she grumbles. almost as if you’re possessed, you let her in without much fuss. is she here to rekindle your friendship? to tell you she’ll forgive you after what you’ve done to her? 
“hana, listen i’m so incredibly sor—” 
“save it,” she says, lifting her hand. “i’m only here ‘cause i have something i need to say to you. it took me weeks to come here because i don’t even wanna look at you.” you gulp and nod, genuinely anxious as to what she has in store for you.
“i’m just going to tell you straight up. beomgyu’s not who you think he is,” she deadpans. 
“w-what do you mean?” if she’s talking about how he’ll eventually betray you, you’ve already thought of that. why she thinks this is news to you, you don’t know.
“listen to me, he planned this whole fucking thing.” what could she possibly mean by that? he planned to get caught by her? that doesn’t even make sense. “i told him i’d be home the night that i walked in on you.” your jaw drops in horror, but she continues as if she doesn’t notice.
“i think… i think he heard us over the phone and knew you’d be there before meeting with jay. he told me he wanted our friends to find out and to see who you’d believe if i told you. whether you believe me or not, i really don’t give a fuck, but it’s true. he said he got what he wanted, so he doesn’t need me anymore.” she chokes on her last words and you can't help but feel sorry for her, but that feeling is overshadowed by the feelings of anger towards beomgyu. you don’t think hana would lie about this. she looks so flustered and heartbroken, you don’t believe for a second that she’s lying just to rile you up. before you can reply, the door opens and beomgyu’s figure appears in your doorway. he has a smile on his face, but it drops lightning fast when he sees who’s standing there.
“what the fuck are you doing here?” he says with a scowl.
“i’m on my way out,” hana mumbles, pushing past him. he doesn’t even attempt to stop her. he registers the mixed emotions on your face and he can guess what she said to you without much effort.
“let me explain,” he says lowly, already heading towards you to placate you like you’re some sort of wild animal he has to coax. and you’re so angry, you might as well be.
“explain what? that you ruined my fucking life?” you spit. he flinches at your tone, even more so at your next words. “what i don’t understand is why? is my life a fucking game to you?” his face crumbles at this. 
“n-no! never!” he sputters.
“then what is this? what’s your reason for planning for hana to walk in us? is this a kink or something?” he shakes his head frantically. 
“you don’t understand, i just wanted it to be us,” he pleads. “i don’t like them. they’ll just try to take you away from me.” 
“take me away from them? beomgyu, i’m not some fucking toy. i’m a person. a person whose life you fucking ruined for no reason!” you exclaim. you’re so frustrated you could cry, so you do. does he not realize how badly he fucked you over? “you promised you’d never hurt me,” you sob.
“i-i did it for us! they wouldn’t care about how we feel… they’d just take hana’s side without even thinking about it!” he argues, grabbing your hands. you want to pull away, but if you do, that means you’ll be completely alone. 
“you didn’t even give them a chance,” you reason. “now it’s really over,” you say between sobs. “i… i could’ve talked to them, but you ruined it!” 
“i just want you all to myself, is that so bad?” he asks, as if he genuinely can't understand why you’re so upset. he’s actually sick in the head.
“why?!” you ask again, ripping your hands from his grasp.
“because i love you,” he says desperately. “i just love you so much. i’m sorry, i’ll never do anything like this again,” he promises. 
“yeah, you won’t,” you reply bitterly. “because i won’t give you that chance.” 
“w-what do you mean?” he asks, lips trembling and eyes red.
“i’m not doing this with you anymore. this whole thing was doomed from the start,” you reply firmly. he shakes his head as if denying it with fervor will undo what you’ve said, tears now flowing freely from his reddened eyes.
“no, p-please,” he cries. “i only did it because i love you so much. ever since i first saw you, i only ever wanted to be with you. i… i know i fucked up, but it was the only way. believe me, please.” your already soft heart is softening even more as you listen to the desperation in his voice. he sounds so lost and scared, as if he really doesn’t know what he’ll do if you tell him no. you briefly wonder if he’s ever heard the words: “no, beomgyu. you’ve gone too far this time.” but as you watch him come undone before you, you don’t think you’ll be able to be the one who tells him no, anyway. 
“i’m giving you one, and i mean one, last chance. if you fuck up this time, i promise you, you’ll never see me again,” you declare. you don't know what you’re expecting, really, but the sight of even more tears streaming down his face is not it. he grabs you and pulls you in his warm and trembling embrace.
“th-thank you,” he cries. “you won’t regret this.” 
“i’d better not,” you mumble. even if you do, you can’t deny the way your heart skips a beat at his pure, unadulterated need for you. even if you do come to regret it, it’s impossible to look at him right now and say he’s not being sincere. he pulls away from you and hurriedly captures your mouth, and as if your next words will take back what you said, he seals them in your throat before you can manage to get anything more out. as the kiss becomes more heated, you feel something hard and angry poking into your stomach.
“already?” you tease. he actually blushes at this.
“can’t help it. need you,” he replies sheepishly. 
“you need me, huh? is that why you’ve been so bad?” you ask, palming him deliciously through his pants.
“n-not bad! just love you so much, couldn’t stop myself.” your temper actually flares a little at this. you palm him more harshly and his breath catches when you do.
“really? but you’ve been so bad, i don’t think you deserve me,” you say menacingly, pulling your hand away. he audibly whimpers at this.
“no, no, no, please! i’ll be good from now on,” he pleads as he grabs your hand and begins to snake it under the waistband of his pants. you let him, but you don’t take his hardened length into your hand like you usually would. instead, you tease the sensitive area around it, even going so far as to ghost your fingers over his balls, but you conveniently avoid giving him any sort of friction or attention, so he’s gasping when you give him a mean and unexpected tug. 
“p-please stop teasing me,” he cries, eyes so beautiful and watery. “i know i’ve been bad, but i can make you feel so good.” he’s right, in a way. you’ve never and will never feel as good as you do when beomgyu pumps into you and shoots his hot load in your pussy, but he’s deranged if he thinks you’ll let him have you so easily tonight. not after what he’s done.
“hmm, i’m not so sure about that,” you hum. you lead him to your bedroom as if he’s hypnotized. you haven’t even let him enter you yet, if you’re going to let him do so at all, but he’s already acting like he’s drunk on you. 
“strip,” you command simply. without any questions or doubts, he eagerly takes off his hoodie and shoves his pants down, stepping out of them and closer to you. it’s sickeningly sweet to see how possessed he is by you. he tries to take your own clothes off, but you smack his hand away. 
“bad boy,” you say, and he whines like a dog. “lay down.” he does what you say, lying completely exposed on your bed as he gives a few pulls on his throbbing cock. “stop fucking touching yourself or you’re not getting anything from me,” you add, and he whines even louder. 
“please touch me,” he begs, cock standing all red and weeping. 
“you don’t deserve it,” you shrug. you take off your pants and he leches at the image of your pussy dripping wet for him, and so soon. all he can think about is how warm it is and how fervently he wants to be in it. he thinks you’re going to sit on his cock, because that would be the most natural course of action, but all you do is lay next to him and pull something out of your nightstand drawer. a vibrator. are you fucking serious? 
“no!” he begs, already knowing how this is going to go.
“you can take what you get from me or you can beat it,” you bite back. that shuts him up. he’s biting his lip, trying not to get scolded again, but he can’t help but whine again when you spread your legs and turn your vibrator on. 
“ah,” you moan as the rubber tip hits your clit. “feels so good.” 
“i’d feel better,” he insists, eyes widened and desperate like a madman. 
“touch yourself,” you say in response. “i'm not touching that dirty cock of yours, so take care of it yourself.” he doesn’t need to be told twice. he immediately spits on his hand and begins to wildly jerk his weeping cock. he whines at the friction. you, however, are so lost in the feeling of the vibrations pulsating throughout your pussy, you couldn’t seem to care less about what he does. this only makes him whine even louder. he’s experiencing pleasure, sure, but the sounds coming from him are exaggerated and theatrical. he’s just trying to get a rise out of you. he just wants you to look at him, is that too much to ask?
you open your eyes at his petulant noise and say your next words so quietly, if he wasn’t paying more attention, he’d miss them. “kiss me.” so he does. the kiss is filthy and nothing more than the tangling of tongues, but that combined with the stimulation on your poor pussy is enough to make you near the edge. 
beomgyu can tell you’re close, and his kisses become even more heated as he abuses his cock under his hand. he’s moaning into your mouth, showing you, in no uncertain terms, just how badly he wants to be in you instead. 
“let me do it,” he begs. “come around me, instead. it’ll feel so much better.” his dirty words break you out of your trance and you annoyedly shut the vibrator off while tossing it god knows where. you tear his hand away from his cock and mount him, teasingly rubbing yourself against him, but refusing to put it in. he whines and pouts, but you’re far too busy trying to get yourself off to appease him. then, as if he’s possessed, he raises his hips and his tip catches on your entrance. you both gasp at his shallow intrusion. 
“p-please sit on it, it hurts,” he asks rather pathetically. 
“i can’t, beomie. you haven’t even fingered me yet — you’ll break me in half,” you say provocatively. he whimpers at the imagery. “and you've been so bad, how can i let you get what you want? you’ll never learn if i do that.” 
“i’ve learned! i promise, i’ve learned! just, please, help me,” he cries, bucking his hips up and holding your waist so hard you’ll know he’ll leave bruises. 
“mmm, i don’t knowwww,” you drawl.
“please!” and with that, you angle your hips and begin to sink on his thick length. the stretch burns and you can’t help but cry out as you feel your pussy enveloping every inch of him mercilessly. he’s in tears when he feels you throbbing around him, pussy stretching to accommodate how big he is. when you finally, finally take him all in, he can’t help but begin to fuck into you wantonly. 
“b-beomie, slow down!” 
“c-can’t! feels so good,” he says, tears streaming down his pretty face. he grabs your waist even tighter and flips you around so you’re lying beneath him. his cock continues to hammer into you and you’re seeing stars. his mouth is open, drool pooling out of the corners of his lips, and he’s moaning out your name like a prayer.
“pussy so good, so perfect,” he babbles. “missed this. missed feeling you like this.” 
“i missed it too,” you admit. 
“wanted you, wanted you for so long,” he continues. you don’t even think he knows what he’s saying, but you can tell he means every word. he reaches to your stomach and presses down where his cock is ramming into you. your eyes roll back at the pleasure that comes with the pressure. 
“my baby could be in here,” he muses. “our baby.” this should scare you into sobriety, but it does nothing of the sort. you find yourself tightening even further at the thought of him breeding you like a bitch. 
“i’ll take care of you, i swear,” he says as he thrusts so hard your head nearly meets the headboard. “i’ll give you everything you need. sh-shit, baby, wanna fill you up so good you feel me for days,” those words in addition to his sloppy thrusts are what send you over the edge. you clench around him and he hisses at how you’re even tighter than usual. you feel his thrusts become even more sporadic and he’s emptying himself into you unceremoniously. as he softens, he pulls out and you wince at the feeling. to your surprise, he moves down to your pussy and begins to lap up all of the cum like a starving animal. then, he pulls you in for one last nasty kiss. 
-
you don’t know if you necessarily trust beomgyu, but it’s hard not to at least try to when he basically prostrates himself in front of you on a daily basis. he lets you walk all over him, really. if you call him, he comes running. if you’re mad or upset, he soothes you. when you’re being unreasonable, he reasons, anyway. you still haven’t heard from your friends, but you’re starting to accept the fact that you never will. he introduces you to his friends, and surprisingly, they actually welcome you with open arms. apparently, they didn’t like hana very much and knew beomgyu always had a thing for you. you’re not sure how to feel about that, but you’re flattered, nonetheless. 
you call beomgyu crazy, and maybe he is, but he always says it's because he's crazy in love with you. you want to playfully smack him when he says such cheesy words, but you're starting to really believe him.
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mncxbe · 1 day
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Heyyy! I hope you are taking care of yourself and touching grass once per day! Don't want you to get isolated that much😔
I request a NSFW prompt 3! With our fav suicidal maniac! DAZAIIIII!!!😊😊😊😊😊😊
Take care girly! Pwease take care of yourself🥺🥺🥺
you're so sweet🥺🩷I did not only touch plenty of grass today, but also drank water and spent time with my besties (health queen fr). hope you're taking good care of yourself too♡
3– fingering you under the blanket during movie night with friends
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The film Ranpo chose for the Ada's monthly movie night rolled in the background, but you had a hard time paying attention. I mean, how could you, when your boyfriend's hand was shoved down your panties, his skillful fingers toying with your clit.
You were snuggling Dazai on one side of the couch. The cushy blanket wrapped around your bodies at least provided the tiniest amount of privacy but despite how risky the whole situation was, Dazai wasn't planning to stop his ministrations too soon. Fuck, he was such a tease...
You were a blushing mess, rubbing your thighs together to release the tension between them. You were pretty sure you've never been wetter in your entire life– the heat provided by your bodies paired up with his incessant touches made your cunt a sopping mess, sticky slick coating his digits. Your fingers dug in Dazai's forearm as he gave your puffy clit a harsher flick, making you tremble in pleasure.
"What's wrong, bella, are you cold? Do you want me to bring an extra blanket?" asked your boyfriend in a casual tone but you could see the taunting smile etched on his lips from the corner of your eye.
The man really had some nerve– mocking your sorry state when he was the one who caused all of it. As you squeezed your thighs together Dazai slowly pried them back open with his thumb, using the side of his hand as leverage to keep your legs apart. He dragged his middle finger along your slit, slowly working his way up to your clit and drawing loose circles on it again.
You shifted your body closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder "Please, 'samu I can't–"
"I know you like it, sweetie, you're drenched. Plus, I know how much you love it when I touch you like this in public, you're such a dirty girl" he whispered against the shell of your ear, masking the brief interaction with a chaste kiss to your temple. His words made your pussy flutter and of course he didn't miss it.
"I want you to cum for me. Can you do that, pretty girl?" he cooed, pressing his ring and middle finger on your needy clit as you nodded eagerly, burying your face in the crook of his neck.
The moment you gave him the go he resumed circling your clit, occasionally rubbing it between his fingers. Each little touch pushed you closer to your high, but what did it for you were the downright obscene things he was whispering in your ear.
"There you go, baby. Can't wait to get home and eat this messy pussy out. I don't think you're gonna get much sleep tonight."
You were so damn grateful that Ranpo turned up the volume of the TV a while ago so no one could hear the choked moan that slipped past your lips when you came. Your hips jolted up and Dazai cupped your pussy, slowly rubbing your clit with his hand, helping you ride out your high and preventing you from squirming too much.
"Shh keep it down, bella. Don't want everyone else to find out what we just did, do you?"
You would've slapped the obnoxious grin off his face if you hadn't been so weak and fucked out– though you were ashamed to admit, this was probably one of the best orgasms of your life.
Your boyfriend carefully removed his hand from your panties and wiped the excess of slick on your inner thigh before wrapping his arm around your waist and snuggling closer to you. The innocent smile on his face was enough to calm your nerves. Yea, Dazai was an obnoxious bastard sometimes and his teasing never ended, but he was still the love of your life so you couldn't bring yourself to be mad at him.
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to win or not to win
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chris sturniolo x reader
summary: chris and his girlfriend do a twitch stream together and compete at who’s the better fortnite player, request
warnings: fluffy, language
it wasn’t unusual for you and chris to get into friendly competitions. most of them ended in a temper tantrum from one of you, but they were innocent nonetheless.
todays topic of discussion was ‘whos the better fortnite player’. although chris had been playing for a significant amount of time longer than you, you were sure you could hold your own. especially, because chris was the one to teach you how to play.
you both we’re confident in your skills, so the only logical way to decide was to take it to twitch and let the viewers watch the showdown.
“okay guys so here’s what’s happening today. y/n and i are having the fortnite championship and you guys are here to witness” chris said as he took the seat next to you. a very serious look was etched on his face
you looked at him with a raised eyebrow and a look that said ‘really?’
“while we wait for mr. dramatic to calm down i’ll tell you why we’re really here. chris thinks he’s better at fortnite then me.” you said. there was a slight pause before both of you broke into laughter and fell into eachother.
you continued as chris placed his head on your shoulder and watched the chat, “i don’t think chris is better a fortnite then me. so we’re gonna play a few rounds and see who has the best outcomes.”
“yeah so basically we’re gonna be playing 3 rounds, and when we finish we’re going to see who had the overall higher placings.” chris explained.
“that’s quite literally what i just said. thank you for repeating me, love”
“that’s quite literally what i just fucking said” chris mimicked as he poked your side to agitate you.
“stop it” you said giggling, trying to slap his hand away from you.
chris had the split screen set up on his pc. it was a tight fit but you guys were going to make it work. this argument needed to be settled.
the first two games went smoothly. trash talk was being thrown and so were elbows. you both didn’t mind playing dirty. lines had been crossed to many times to count, but it was all in fun.
“it all comes down to this, ma. so far we each have a first and second place finish” chris said cracking his knuckles. no matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t intimidating anyone.
the game went smoothly for a while. you were both able to get through with out any scratches. it was down to the last ten when chris noticed you leg start bouncing in anticipation and nervousness.
as much as chris hated to admit it, he didn’t want to see you lose. he loved seeing how excited you got whenever you win a competition between the two of you, and this was a game chris was willing to throw.
chris looked at you, then at the game before him, then back at you. he could see the distress on your face and he hated it.
“dude i don’t even fucking know where these guys are coming from!” you exclaimed as you started firing random shots to try to hit someone.
you guys were now in the final four. chris made his way over to your character and quickly took out one on the guys shooting at you. you were able to get the other one out not long after that.
“oh fuck chris. please don’t shoot. please don’t shoot. please” you repeat over and over as you tried to get the perfect aim on chris’s player. without warning chris pretended to fumble his controller, dropping it to the ground.
“oh shit!”
this gave you the perfect opportunity to kill chris’s character and win the game and the overall competition between the two of you.
“yes!” you yelled as you threw your arms up and jumped out of your chair.
“oh my fuck. no chance. i just fucking won.”
you did a celebratory lap around chris’s room. chris winked at the camera and held his finger up to his lips telling the chat to not spoil the fact that she is let you win. when you made it back to him you held his face in your hands.
he looked up at you as you said, “you we’re good. simply just not good enough.” you leaned down to place a short peck on his lips and held out your hand for him to shake. he instead grabbed your hand pulling you down to sit on his lap.
“you know chris, me winning really just proves how good you are at fortnite because you taught me everything i know”
chris groaned in joking frustration as he nuzzled his head into the crook of you neck. he placed soft kisses around the area as you watched the chat congratulate your win.
chris finally picked his head up, “thank you guys so much for watching me get my ass kicked by my girlfriend i-”
“kinky.” you interrupted.
“okay that’s it” chris stood up, picking you up by your waist at the same time. he walked over to his bed and gently threw you down. swiftly, he ran back over to his desk chair, taking a seat.
“as i was saying, thanks for watching and we’ll see you again soon”
“bye!” you said blowing a kiss to the camera.
an: this one’s cute. i didn’t want it to seem identical to matt’s so i hope y’all enjoy it🤍
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accio-victuuri · 2 days
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i was supposedly gonna address this by end of month and with my april candy round up but i think might as well do it now. only because it is being shared primarily on international platforms and i feel the need to put out this reminder. i wouldn’t even dream about controlling how one chooses to participate in this fandom but sometimes people need a wake up call.
so, there has been a video going around of GG filming Legend of Zanghai and there is a staff there that people are saying is WYB. it showed this person talking to GG while he is on standby and shooting etc. first of all, these two are notoriously good at hiding and being professional in their workplace. especially now. i doubt they will flaunt each other on set with one acting like a PA for the other. not only that, they both hate to cause any disturbance on set or have unnecessary eyes on them — much worse, gossip, so this is a no.
and in the very low chance that it is WYB or that whatever rumor we have of XX visiting XXX on set is true, the last person who should be outing their secret meetings shouldn’t be turtles. if there is one thing i really miss from the beginnings of this fandom is how much people protected them. even if at times we became obnoxious, you know that the reason is because we wanted to keep them safe. nowadays, i feel like more turtles don’t even care at all. they will show off anything to prove a point. but at what cost? seriously, how far would you go? how much disregard for their rights as human beings will you allow?
which leads me to the main problem here: sharing leaks. i personally sometimes can’t avoid it, especially on weibo cause it depends on who you follow, it will come up. or worse, the leaked videos/photos goes on hot search. xz has been very vocal against proxy shooting for this project so idk why some turtles continue to disrespect his wishes. it’s one thing to see it accidentally, but for international fans to share it and then make it out to be this “scandalous” video proof is so questionable. what makes them different from professional weibo paparazzis who out celebrity couples? who follow them in their homes and even their parents? how are they different from ss who put trackers on their cars and obsess over their personal itinerary? it’s so sus to call yourself a fan who care about them but applaud this kind of behavior. these kind of fans honestly don’t see xz and wyb as people. leave them the fuck alone. i don’t think i can stress that enough. let’s speculate all we want from the materials they willingly give us and try not to make it harder for them to live their personal lives.
i understand how material like that can make someone happy and affirmed but think about them first.
and if you are someone who needs solid video proof to support the boys and be on the bjyxszd train, then please leave this fandom now. i can tolerate alot of behaviors but never ones that endanger them like this. this need for constant validation is dangerous. it’s their relationship, not ours. they are real people and not fictional characters.
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barrenclan · 12 hours
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Pretty much since the beginning I had this question of "how the hell are any of the cats going to survive Defiance?!" at the back of my head and I'm so excited to see how this part of the story will play out! So in the meantime, here are some of my predictions for who will live or die: -The kits- should be safe (Egretkit is the safest though). -Pinepaw- assuming the finale will be from his POV, he will either survive or die last before the epilogues. I feel like any non-Pinepaw POV chapter may be his last (not the very next one though, he still has some unfinished business). -Cootstorm- SHE DEAD. Either because of her pride and refusing to run for her life, or saving someone and redeeming herself slightly (leaning towards the former). -Mallowstar- probably will die early (but not first) protecting his family from Deepdark himself. -Blacknose- survives and keeps forgetting Mallowstar (or other dead cat) is dead :( -Cormorantpaw- probably will survive and take care of the kits (or die sacrificing himself, but I feel like that would be a bit too predictable). -Slugpelt- will likely die, but not before killing Rainhaze (let my girl have ONE W!!!) or Ranger/Hacksaw. -Rainhaze- I think we all collectively agreed he's not making it to the end of the story alive (gets killed by either Slugpelt or Pinepaw with assistance OR dies by accident). -Beeface or Plumstripe- oh the tragedy of losing your sister before you can make amends for the petty drama you had... -Daffodilpaw- she survives. She has to, right? -The elders- they will likely die but not before dropping the last piece of lore (or doing some absolutely insane shit like killing Spike). -Deepdark- if the story has a bittersweet ending he has to die, or give in to his prey instincts and run away (which I don't really see happening, there is nothing from a normal deer left in him). -Egrettail and Redpelt- I'm leaning towards "survives" but I really don't know...
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GET YER FINAL VOTES IN, FOLKS! WHO'S GONNA KICK IT?
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luizd3ad · 2 days
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When in Doubt, Blame Damian | Jason x Reader One shot
ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ࣪˖⤷ .𖥔 ݁ ˖ ࣪ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 ˖ ⤷
Pairing: Jason Todd x GN! Reader
WC: 928
TW: Swearing, over thinking. It’s mostly kinda fluffy. No use of Y/N.
Author's Note: I got this idea while giving my dog a bath sooo here you go idk lol hope you like it🖤
Summary: You get a dog!! … but you didn’t tell Jason.
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Not my picture
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You blamed Damian.
You normally blame Damian for a lot. More than you're willing to admit, sometimes for stuff he wasn't even involved in.
But this time you think it's actually his fault.
How could you not blame him? If he hadn't asked for a ride to the pet store. If he didn't insist that Titus absolutely needed a new friend. If he never put that little puppy in your arms basically forcing you to fall in love with the little baby that was giving you kisses, then you wouldn't be here right now.
You wouldn't be in yours and your boyfriend's apartment trying to figure out how to tell said boyfriend that you guys now had a dog. 
Would Jason be mad? Honestly? You didn't know. The topic of getting a dog or a cat has came up a few times.
He would usually say things like ‘Maybe’ or ‘Now's just probably not a good time’ it was never a definite yes or no.
So maybe it wouldn't be that bad, you thought to yourself trying to give yourself some confidence. 
I mean it was your apartment too. You contributed. And it would feel nice to have something to keep you company while Jason was on patrol or had to go somewhere for a while.
You'd hyped yourself up at this point you had some good arguments lined up for why it was a good idea.
You felt confident about your choice, especially when you looked down at the little puppy sleeping peacefully in his bed that was in your shared bedroom. You got this, you told yourself and you really believed that. You genuinely did.
That was until you heard the front door unlock. 
You rush out the room, closing the door softly trying not to wake up the puppy. 
You walked into the living room to greet Jason who was out all morning and most of the afternoon training with Dick, Cass and Duke. 
“Hey Jay.” You say giving him a soft kiss.
“Hi my love. How was your day?”
Jason says, giving you a tight hug, holding you for a moment. 
“Umm it was you know. It was fine. Hung out with Dames. Nothing crazy you know? How about you?”
You rambled pulling away from Jason trying not to sound suspicious while walking to the couch in the living room. 
Jason gives you a questioning look but ends up just dropping it and following you to the couch.
“It was fine. Just the normal shit. I missed you though.”
Jay pulls you into him while giving you a kiss on your head. You feel kinda guilty at this point.
You don't like keeping things from Jason. He has a lot of trust issues so it was important that you guys had a lot of honesty and communication in your relationship. 
You pull away from Jason and look at him, giving him a slightly guilty look.
“Jay, I have something to tell you. Don't be mad.”
“Did something happen when you were out with the Demon Spawn? Did he do something? What did he say? I'm gonna kick that little brats ass.”
Jason runs his hand through his hair already mad at Damian for whatever Jason thinks he did. 
“Jay calm down Dames didn't technically do anything. I did something, and before you get mad-”
You were interrupted when you heard a puppy bark and a slight clawing sound at the bedroom door and judging by Jasons face he also heard it. 
“What was that?”
“What was what?”
You give a little chuckle, now trying to play it off. Hoping that this isn't how Jason finds out but knowing that it is. 
“Babe Is there a dog here?”
“Um technically..? Yes?”
Jason sighs and gets up to the bedroom and opens the door letting the dog run up to you as he tries to climb up on you. You pick him up, putting him on your lap while he starts playing with your hand. 
“Babe, who’s dog is that?”
“Umm… Ours?”
“When did we get a dog?”
Jason says wide eyed and raises his eyebrows at you.
“It's all Damian's fault! He told me how lonely Titus gets sometimes and I felt bad and just look at how cute he is!”
You try to explain picking the dog up so Jason can look at him.
 “Don't be mad jay..”
You say putting the puppy on the floor so he can run around a little all while you look extremely guilty.
“Mad? Why would I be mad? Wait baby, is this what you were trying to tell me?”
Jason says sitting next to you on the couch while looking at you concerned. 
“Yes… I felt bad making a choice like that without you and I know how you don't like it when people hide stuff from you and I just don't want to make you mad.”
“Baby, I'm not mad. I'm not thrilled that you got a dog without me, especially because it was with the Demon Spawn. But I'm not mad.”
Jason says pulling you into him kissing the top of your head.
“You're not mad? Really?”
“I can't be mad at you baby. You mean everything to me.”
Jason says while the puppy runs up to you guys laying down at your feet.
“I'm still sorry Jay.”
“I know you are, baby. It's okay, promise. Now what's this little guy's name?”
Jason says picking up the puppy and looking at his face while you smile at them.
Maybe you shouldn't blame Damian… this time.
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118 notes · View notes
forsworned · 2 days
Note
That Keegan post you made had me clutching my PEARLS! Your use of words was so masterfully done! I really loved the new vocab I learned while reading your work.
Your depiction of the relationship was also so so nice. Very loving and attentive and just so sweet. I could tell they loved one another and had already established boundaries that they knew they shouldn’t cross. The ending was lovely as well, a great way to tie things up.
Thank you for writing it! I’m excited to see what else your lovely brain comes up with!
-🧢
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Whispers in the Woods: A Stranger's Shelter ft. OfftheGridCowboy!Keegan Russ
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Sypnosis: When Keegan finds you petrified, running for your life from creatures unknown to you in the Haunted Appalachia trails after sundown, he takes you in for the night. Things get a bit crazy...
Warning(s): Mentions of Sexual Content, Violence, Petnames (?), Blood, Supernatural Horror (?), Eventual Smut, Barely Proofread, Reader is 28 and Keegan is 30, Reader is also AFAB
Word Count: 7.5k (enjoy keegan lovers ;)
Author's note: Blue cap anon thank you so much for inspiring me to write for Keegan. Honestly, I really love how this fic turned out and I hope you do too. I am so sorry I took so long to reply to you but you seriously warmed my heart so sosososo much when I read your message. I did not mean to put you on the back burner for this long/ Just know I have put so much effort into this to provide you a solid work so I hope that is a good enough excuse to have such a delayed response. Also so glad that you learned some new words LOL that really tickles me tbh, but I want to work more with the relationship that reader builds with Keegan in general or with any character x reader I write. So please enjoy this :)
edit: i think it's lowkey not living up to my expectations but ummm fuck it we ball
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Sparks fly as the firewood in the pit crackles, casting an orange ember over you and the stranger sitting in front of you. His eyes, reminiscent of the cool, blueness of winter are lingering on you, and his heavy, leather jacket drapes over your shoulders to shield you from the chilliness of the early April evening. With his black cowboy hat slightly tilted upward, you note the black bandana covering most of his face, adding an air of mystery to his appearance.
"You really shouldn't be out here." His voice edges a precarious tone, though you cannot determine if it's toward you or whatever lurks in the abysmal woods. Maybe it was both. Your fingers curl around the distressed tanned hide, fiddling with the stitching of the material. A shudder careens through the columns of your spine, goosebumps trail over your skin, and the fuzz across your neck rises briefly.
"Don't look. Don't even acknowledge it." He instructs, steadying his gaze on you as he tinkers with the butterfly knife in his gloved hand. "W-what?" You gasp out, eyes reaming as your quivering vision sets on the embers of the pyre. A sinister presence harks over your convulsing body, heart palpitating out of your tightening sternum. But as soon as it arrives it departs and you're left heaving for the oxygen that was stripped from your lungs.
"I'm not gonna ask you again, what are you doin' walkin' around aimlessly in these mountains?" He repeatedly latches and unlatches the metal object in his hands, his gaze fixates on you. Truthfully, you were lost. When the engine of the old Dodge that you inherited from your grandfather abruptly cut out as you passed through a dead zone, it was all hauling ass from there on out. Classic damsel in distress situation.
Your father and he had both warned you about the Appalachian mountains. How apex predators inhabited the woods, preying on the innocent, ripping flesh apart on sight, or disappearing into the ghastly woods to never return. But, of course, you wrote it off as fearmongering. Never had you experienced the soul-crushing, harrowing existence of unidentified, cryptids lurking within the lacunas of the evergreens.
"My truck it—" You start to say, but the sound of him exhaling loudly cuts you off and you glance up at him with misery strewn across your features. Doe-eyes glimmering from the wetness that was welling in your oculars as your lips tremble. He outstretches his arm to the lantern on the perched log, "I've heard enough."
He begins to get up, extinguishing the flame, smothering it with what seemed to be a bag of salt and you felt fear creeping back into your system.
"Come on." As the pyre's embers fade, the lantern's switch emits a squeak, coaxing the oil flame to life, while the blood-curdling shrieks send shivers down your spine, ringing in your ears. And as if on cue, you cling to his side and he lets out a soft huff, feeling your arm coil around his.
The inferno acts as a bulwark from whatever is skulking around the both of you in the obscurity of the night as you move through the forest. You catch glimpses of shadows trekking about, seemingly running away from you now. A stark contrast from the previous frantic sprint through the woods in your petite, white frilly prairie dress that was now tattered at the edges and puffy sleeves. Now, you were safe. At least you certainly hope so.
A tiny light enters your line of sight in the distance, and you can only assume that that is his home. But you were still heeding the noises and images being molded in front of human eyes. It was as if the veil was lifted here, a supernatural existence in the vast mountains and woods of the Appalachia. You don't know whether to be terrified or fascinated, but you keep quiet as he silently leads you down the desire path to his home that is etching itself a little more into the horizon.
Approaching the home, you begin to notice the clandestine features of the house. A zephyr sweeps past you and the distinct smell of lavender and sage gently brims into your senses. You visibly shudder as the steps creak under your weight, your arm remains tucked into his own as he fishes out his keys and unlocks the door. Like a gentleman, he gestures to allow you in first and he follows closely behind, shutting it behind him.
"Shoes off at the door." He directs, treading past you as he tosses another piece of firewood into the lit fireplace.
What the fuck?
Is he just not going to acknowledge the paranormal manifestation that incurred upon them just now? The shadows of unearthly skinwalkers who infest the woods, who are prowling out there now as they barricade themselves from the outside? What is stopping them from forcefully intruding into his home?
You finally catch your breath for a moment, still feeling your heart hammering against your chest before you speak. "Are we not going to talk about what we just saw?"
"Nope." He simply replies, from another room and you blink back in surprise. Then it sinks in.
Of course, how could you forget? How can you forget the rules of the Appalachia, that were engrained into you as a child?
If you see something strange in the wilderness, no, you didn't.
If you hear something call your name, no, you didn't.
If you hear screaming in the Appalachian mountains, especially a woman's scream, no, you didn't. 
If you feel something stalking you, do not run.
Never, ever, whistle at night. 
Never go into the woods at night.
Never leave your windows open at night, even in the summer and honestly, the list dragged on and on and on.
Most of it falls on deaf ears never believing in the legends, and yet, here you are shaken up by things you never thought existed in a stranger's home who found it in his heart to shelter you until what you suppose would be dawn.
A wavering breath escapes you as you take a long gander at the well-maintained colonial home. The timeless and heirloom quality of the home becomes evident upon analyzing the vast array of paintings and framed photographs adorning the walls, each depicting individuals with strikingly similar features—dark brows, thick lashes, and mesmerizing steely blue eyes that seemed to penetrate your soul. You can't quite make out the framed artwork through your muzzy vision, but it's eerie the way you can't quite pinpoint why the face was so recognizable to you.
Exposed wooden ceiling beams motion your eyes to the inherited items and the mounted deer skull above the hearth. The warmth emanating from it felt different, soothing, lulling your quivery limbs. You oblige and kick off your boots, padding behind him as he draws out his gun from his holster and places it on the mahogany table. He removes his cowboy hat, hanging it on the horseshoe hat rack adjacent to the fireplace revealing his tousled short black locks. As he begins to unmask himself, a small gasp leaves your lips, fixating on his newly exposed features. And he was goddamn handsome and unusually reminiscent of someone from your childhood embarked into the backlogs of your memory, but of course, you brush it off.
And although he hears it, he does not acknowledge it as one hand grips the wooden chair and the other runs over his dark stubble. He's pensive. The last thing he needed was some heretic woman living under his roof for Lord knows how long. At this point, he decides that you are his responsibility and he cannot shirk from that for that would be unbecoming of a man like himself and he was raised better than that.
He glances up at the painting of his father above the hearth and you take note of the reflective state. His daddy was the embodiment of a Cowboy. Gentlemanly, charming, nifty, and always genial, providing the best hospitality a person could provide. No way, he'd accept Keegan kicking you to the curb, leaving you out for those creatures to rip you apart. Plus, his father would simply rise from his grave and kick his ass.
"You hungry?" He pays no mind to your lingering, bewitched eyes as he moves to the kitchen and you like a lost puppy trailing behind him. "Got some leftover potato leek soup."
And as if on cue, your stomach growls and he glances at your hand over your tummy. You flush from the embarrassment of your stomach being that raucous. He cocks a brow at you and you can't tell if he's amused or annoyed. Probably both. "Go sit." He points his chin to the table by the fireplace and you pad back to the living room, the tempering sensation of the flames causes you to become drowsy. You loll your head to analyze his stature. His figure towers over all of the antique appliances in the kitchen, muscles flexing as he prepares to reheat the soup on the stove. Rolling up his sleeves to reveal his taut, tanned forearms to open the cabinet and pull out the loaf of handmade sourdough, slicing it evenly and efficiently before tossing it in the toaster.
His form becomes a bit hazy as you lay your head against the top rail of the chair, mesmerized by the allure of his broadened shoulders, and soft pink lips that all by hide the peeking tongue indicating his concentration in preparing you a homecooked meal. Keegan never has guests over, in fact, no one is ever daft enough to come running around this way anyways because locals know better and tourists are too scared shitless to even enter this part of the Appalachia. He likes it like that, away from everything and everyone, being able to maintain his family's ranch that was inherited by him at the ripening age of 18.
His mother moved out to the suburbs because the death of his father was far too devasting on her already weary soul to continue living her days out on the farm. But Keegan doesn't mind it. He handles the livestock with ease, providing care to the birthing cattle, and maintaining the operations of the facilities as a whole to keep his honest living thriving. It's all in a good day's work for him. So caring after you shouldn't be too much of a hassle right?
You're suddenly awoken to the soft clatter of the bowl being set on the wooden table, the savory aroma of potato leek soup, and freshly toasted sourdough bread. He sets a glass of water beside you before he pulls his seat adjacent to you with his food.
"Eat." He orders, waiting for you to take a spoonful of thick soup. You hesitantly lift the spoon before glancing up at him. He blinks back at you, realizing the weight of his indiscretion, and whisks the soup with his spoon before noshing on it as if to tell you that is not poisoned nor drugged. Your other hand takes the bread in between your fingers and he mirrors your actions, claiming a bite from his own and you visibly relax.
The soup is scalding to the touch, but you welcome the sensation when you get a taste of the heavenly whipped soup. Not a single lump, just the smoothest, most savory supping of such a simple hearty soup instantly heartening your disconcerting body right down to your unsteady hand.
"I'll fix your truck as soon as dawn breaks." He flashes a glance before breaking his bread and scooping it into his soup. "Make yourself comfortable in the guest bedroom." He gestures with his hand to the upstairs.
"Oh, I couldn't—" You begin to say, but he will have none of it.
"You're not going out there until the sun's out." He replies simply, as he lifts his glass of water and sips from it. You observe the way his Adam's apple oscillates under his stubbly throat and you swallow thickly when you realize he's gazing at you keenly.
Warmth spreads to your cheeks and your eyes are now following the pattern of the wood grain. "That's…very kind of you."
"'s just the human thing to do." And there is an emphasis on the word 'human'.
You begin to play with your soup, scooping it up and letting it fall back into the bowl. "Right." Your voice is soft as you try to block out the memory just moments ago.
He narrows his eyes as if to study you. "What's your name?"
You glance up at him, and you're almost a bit hesitant to tell him. You almost want to lie, but you decide otherwise. "[Name], and yours?"
"Keegan."
"Keegan what?" You press. He raises a brow at you as he chews on his bread.
"Russ."
Russ. An esteemed surname that was echoed throughout your household during your adolescence. Presley Russ was a handsome and genial man who appeared at your father's porch steps every so often, tipping his hat at you with that charming smile and those glacial hues that made your heart jump. He'd invite your daddy out for nights at the rodeo or sipping on Highland Gaelic Ales on the porch from the afternoon til midnight, biding his time between Maryland and North Carolina.
You never quite caught glimpses of his son when you were living out on the ranch before you moved out for college, but you did remember a time when you ventured out past sunset in the abandoned village in the Black Hills you knew better than to be in when your daddy had to travel to Wheaton for the grand opening of his old buddy, Presley's restaurant accompanied by his reclusive son who you never remembered the name of. But for God's sake, who was stupid enough to go treading alone around the same location as the filming of the Blair Witch Project?
But you were a skeptic at best until you heard the unrelenting repetition of your name being called which led you astray, causing you to stumble over your own feet and ultimately collide with a rock that rendered you unconscious. Soon enough, you felt yourself being carried back to your home in the arms of the Russ boy with the hardened steely gaze that intently stared down at the knot forming on your forehead. You had never shut your eyes so quickly and the sound of his soft chuckle, caused you to be even more embarrassed as you were being handed off to your worried parents who were more than relieved and thankful to have retrieved you.
Of course, you had to act like you were unconscious. It was already humiliating enough that you were old enough to know better, but being ferried by a cute boy like you were some helpless damsel in distress was just mortifying.
But that was long forgotten by you in hazy summer days during your teen years before you went off to college and moved out into the city. In reality, you had written it off as a dream, a hallucination concocted by that vivid and graphic imagination of yours. That was always the case with you and the Appalachia. Always the non-believer.
But part of you was hoping that maybe he didn't recognize you after all this time, and yet the way he is staring you down is beginning to feel like otherwise.
"Blair." He suddenly says matter-of-factly as he taps his finger at the table and nods again. "Blair." A small toothy grin creeps on his lips before he chuckles.
Your eyes reaming as your heart drops to your stomach. "What?"
"Black Hills, you're the daughter of the farmer right up in Garrett County."
You feel the warmth blooming on your cheeks. He knew. "I—How do you remember that?"
"Knew you looked familiar." He dives back into his steaming soup. "Was tryin' to figure out where I'd seen that necklace of yours." He juts his chin, pointing to the family heirloom that kisses your clavicle. It had been passed down for generations to the women in your family as a symbol of health, wisdom and longetivity. You feel for the 20k gold pendant with lilac and sage engraved into the soft metal.
He looks as if he's stifling another snicker. "Think you pissed yourself a little when I found you unconscious."
Now that gets you real flared up. The abrupt change in mood was beginning to wrack your nerves. You sigh knowing that at the very least you were in good hands. Familiarity begins to set in as he breaks the ice, creating a more comfortable atmosphere between you two.
"I did not!" You puff your cheeks out at him and he's tickled pink by your endearing, agitated reactions.
His gleeful grin only grows to his eyes. "Now, who willing goes into the woods by themselves when they know damn well what kind of activity breeds over there, hm? Gotta death wish if you ask me, kid."
You open your mouth to say something, but it clamps shut. You don't know whether to be abashed by the way his face lights up like the stars in the heavens above, or by the fact that he remembers that you pissed yourself a little through your favorite pair of khaki parachute shorts in a known marked area where people have gone missing. The stark realization of it being a tangible memory was mussing at your trepidation towards him. But he's teasing you now and it stirs a strange kind of desire in your lower belly as you uncomfortably shift in your creaky wooden seat.
Pushing your bowl away, you avoid responding by guzzling down your water and then calmly placing it back down.
"I'd like to get ready for bed now, if you don't mind."
He jovially raises his eyebrows as he munches on the last of his bread. The smirk still curled up on the corners of his pinkened lips.
He wipes the crumbs off his hands and thumbs either side of his mouth before he gets up, gesturing to you. " 'Course not."
You stand up and politely push your chair in as you track behind him up the croaking staircase. Your body is practically heaving with every step and by the top of it, you're feeling a bit winded. Keegan decides to keep his comments to himself as he ushers you down the grandiose hallway. The walls are painted ivory, and wall sconces are tapered candles on held-up aged tin nailed into the parapet. Hardwood floors are well kept, but the small divots in between the grain quickly reveal the age.
He jingles the knob to what you suppose is the guest bedroom, but it seems to be locked. His fingers fish into his pocket and you watch as he phalanges through the set and then finally picks out the antiquated rusty skeleton key. It's honestly a bit jarring that it requires a key to fasten the door, but at this point, if you're being kept away from the monsters lurking outside you'd be happy to be his little prisoner for now.
He pushes the door and it moans open, though much to your surprise it's polished and orderly. In the middle of the room is a wooden four-poster queen-sized bed, with a princess-like sheer white canopy that surreptitiously envelops the bed. The furniture is a bit more romantic with detailed carved patterns on the bookshelves that line up against the wall to the vanity that sat adjacent to the bed. The carmine curtains that drape over the large window, easily maneuver you to the balcony, and the soft calling of your name beckons you to open it…
A sturdy hand clasps over your shoulder and you jolt as you turn to him. He's shaking his head as he towers over you and you look so goddamn feeble with those damn bambi eyes of yours shimmering in the tiny sliver of moonlight that peeks out from the window. He tears his gaze away to tread over to the window, squeezing it shut with the velcro he sewed into the fabric and reinforces the window shut.
A sharp exhale leaves his nostrils and his eyes are on you again. "I totally can see why you ended up the way you did." He glimpses over your dirtied and frayed dress, skinned, bloodstained knees, and contusions running up and down your legs. God, he makes it so easy to feel self-conscious.
He licks his lips as he hovers his hand over the knob to his right, and signals you over. You begrudgingly stride over and you're just as impressed at the bathroom. From the massive mirror above the traditional wooden undermount double sink vanity to the wine-red clawfoot freestanding bathtub. Little golden trinkets pinstripe the rosy walls with the soft warm lighting of the hanging flowery ceiling light fixtures. You squint your eyes when he adjusts the radiance to a white glow with the dimmer light switch before he opens the drawers one by one.
"Towels, robes, spare clothes, toiletries. Gimme a shout if you need anything else."
You open your mouth to say something and his eyes playfully narrow at you. "—within reason, missy."
Your bottom lip reflexively juts out. You hate to admit it, but you were quite the spoiled child. Never receiving more than a gentle chide from your parents and always silver-spooned to the nines by your grandparents. The truck was an exception. More of a parting gift from your grandfather that was left to you for the sole purpose of memorabilia scored into every inch of the tarnished vehicle. You hope that Keegan is capable of fixing it since most parts were made by discontinued distributors and they were definitely not easy to come by as they were expensive.
"Christ, spoiled rotten, weren't ya?" He ribs, nudging you a bit and you frown at him.
"Was not." You childlessly retort, but the small smile on your face betrays your feeble attempt at contempt.
Fuck, she is so cute. Keegan thinks as he assimilates your hilly yet winsome appearance. Just as cute as he remembers when he was seventeen, ignorant of the malignancy that poisoned his father's lungs.
"Not as much as your daddy spoiled you." You shoot back and cover your mouth with your hands as his brows lift in half surprise and half revelry.
"Blair's got jokes now, huh?" The elicitive nickname indicative of your former years sends another rushing warmth to your face and you begin to shoo him out.
"I'd really like to be clean now, thank you." You cast a scowl his way and he's putting his hands up in surrender as he backs out of the bathroom followed by the bedroom.
"I take it that the lady needs her privacy now." He leans against the doorframe with his hands stuffed into his denim jean pockets that are dusty and darkened with wood ash and the smell of the campfire lingers on his skin.
"And her beauty sleep." You add on, folding your arms. His jacket is still resting over your shoulders and he chuckles at your Hello Kitty print socks. The way your hair was mussed up in the soft glow of the lantern lamp on the night table was starting to arouse him a bit.
Fuckkkkkk, you were so adorable. It might have taken every atom in his body not to bend you over the mattress and spank you for being such a dotty woman before pressing his cock past your velvety folds as he makes you apologize in the form of incoherent, dirty little whimpers.
But the thought is quickly dismissed as it's formed in the sullied cogitations of his mind.
"Good night, [name]." He murmurs in his husky voice yet there is a hint of mischief in his tone that sends a frisson up your spinal column.
"Good night, Keegan." You susurrate, as you slowly shut the door and his expression remains the same as your view of him narrows until it disappears behind the threshold.
"Christ." You mutter to yourself as you begin to get ready for bed, as you feel the rush of collywobbles in your stomach start to well up a craving for the cowboy. The time on your cracked phone screen reads 2:03 AM and a wave of exhaustion crashes over you at the realization. Had you really been out there for seven hours?
The warm water soothes your aching bones and forming scabs scattered across your body as you gently exfoliate your skin. Thankfully, Keegan had enough sense to drop off a first aid kit by your door before you slipped into the bath. You weren't looking forward to the sting of the antiseptic, but you were more than grateful to be alive and have all your limbs attached. As you close your eyes and let the sudsy bath take away your worries, a coaxing voice is entrancing you. At first, it begins as a hushed lull intermingled with what sounds like your name and a bit of white noise that makes your brain all fuzzy and warm, but it becomes audible. Forming coherent luring words that resemble Keegan's deep, raspy voice.
Drown, drown, drown.
And you promptly find yourself submerging into the tub and the stillness of the water is subduing, but something is instigating you to open your eyes. You push away the thought, taking in the tranquility, settling into the comforting sensation of weightlessness. And yet, the feeling is not leaving you. You internally sigh as you move your body to the surface, but you remain dormant. Your eyes shoot open and your blood runs cold.
Above is one of the most fear-inducing creatures that you have ever laid your eyes upon holding you down on either side of your shoulders with slender claws digging into your flesh. It resembles a caribou skull with elongated antlers but its eyes were a violent vermillion that penetrates your soul. Its body was dark, rickety, and harrowing. Bones astute against the matted onyx fur and its tongue hanging out of his jaw like it was ready to devour you. Panic surges through your veins as you thrash about but it drives its talons further into your skin and you shriek out in pain. Water enters your lungs, your heart is stammering at cardiac arrest speed and you're choking out for dear life. This is it. This is how you die and the worst part about it is, you couldn't even call out for hope from the man who saved you just moments ago.
But just as you're accepting your fate, the muffled sound of a gunshot pierces through the air and within seconds the skinwalker is incapacitated and then dead. Soon enough, you're being hoisted out by Keegan's strong hands, as you cling onto him naked, wet, and heaving for oxygen.
Water expels out from your esophagus and you're trembling even harder than you were before when he found you, grasping to him and he's immediately talking you down.
"It's alright, you're okay. You're okay." He soothes, one hand tenderly caressing your soddened hair and the other is gripping your body tight as he pulls you out of the tub. He wastes no time unplugging the drain and wrapping you in a large towel to cover your naked body. In all seriousness, Keegan didn't even take a second to gander at your naked form when he was gathering you out of the tub and he makes that clear that his sole objective was to eliminate the wendigo that trespassed into your sanctuary.
He could've sworn that he had locked up every single opening in the house as he does every single night. It was like clockwork to him ever since his father had shown him the ropes to the place.
"…Kee-keegan." You splutter out as you continue to clutch onto him and your body is saturating him with water. He doesn't care though, that was the least of his worries. Your eyes are reaming and glossy as you dare to peek down at the creature that was seconds away from letting you meet your maker, but there's nothing but ash on the tiled floor.
"It was—" You begin, peering up at his harking steely eyes and his jaw tightens.
"It's gone."
"I don't understand." You shake your head, trying to make sense of what just happened, but the soft clatter of the rifle hitting the bathroom counter delineates your scattered mind. "Oh. But—"
"Get dressed." He softly prompts and you shakily let go of his t-shirt and he hands you an eggshell-colored peignoir as he averts his gaze. He's cognizant of the post-distress and panic you're in, so makes no indication of reallocating himself away from you as you slip on the fabric nor does he provide an explanation for what just occurred.
And to be honest, you didn't want to know. There was nothing more disturbing than the encounter with death in the form of a mutated caribou that leaves you shaken up. Everything just seemed too difficult to wrap your little head around, so let him take care of you.
A fresh towel is on your head, soaking up the wetness tangled into your hair and you relax at his balmy touch.
"Thank you." You mutter as your eyes are cast downward, eyeing the imbued, darkened spots on his nightshirt.
He delicately hooks his index finger and thumb between your chin and lifts it upward as he dabs at your features with the towel. And then it lingers. His intense yet pensive gaze, his stout calloused thumb that is now brushing against your jaw shortly followed by your quivering bottom lip. His jaw ticks.
"I'll sleep in here tonight."
Your heart jumps rampantly against your chest. "What?"
"You almost died if it weren't for me."
"Yes, but it's not—!" You fall short of words yet again and you're tearing your gaze away from him. As dire as the situation was (and it was), Keegan cannot help himself from being just the tiniest bit entertained by your endearing little mannerisms.
"I'm not gonna sleep next to you in bed." He deadpans. Normally, he would let you stumble over your words, but exhaustion is seeping into his bones and even as a noceur himself he was in desperate need of some z's. "The armchair over there quite comfy."
You follow his eyes to the brown leather recliner that was beside the bed and then back to him.
"I'm tired, Keegan." You profess, leaning your head against his chest and he's absentmindedly rubbing circles into the small of your back.
"I know."
Typically, you wouldn't be this comfortable with a stranger but given the unusual circumstances that were currently trying to slaughter your ass, you found yourself seeking solace in him.
"Let's get you into bed."
And soon he's leading you back to the bedroom, his hand is still on the small of your back as you walk on wobbly legs. He peels off the comforter and you sink into the mattress feeling like royalty in your crisp, clean nightgown, in your large princess-like bed, surrounded by plush pillows as the light in the lantern flickers. It casts shadows over his dashing features. The flame turns his glacial eyes into a soft apricot and an expression flickers over his visage—concern.
He's harping over your safety and the intruder that happened to bypass his heavily guarded home. No tripped wires, no movement detected on his cameras, and not to mention not a single sound was made until he heard your thrashing in his room across the hall. If he hadn't been there in time—
"You saved me, though." You drone, shutting your eyes as you tuck yourself into the cotton sheets.
His hardened glare softens at your words and how you look at ease now. A testament to your full, unshakeable faith in him. God, you were so quick to trust, it honestly scared him a little for you.
He scoffs. "How can you be so sure that I wouldn't hurt you?"
"Because your father would resurrect and beat the absolute shit out of you if you even dared to think about harming me." You state with a sly smirk on your face.
Keegan's expression briefly falters before he lets out a snicker, acknowledging the truth in your bold proclamation. "Crafty little critter, aren't ya?"
You giggle as shift under the sheets. It's almost a bit disturbing how you are seemingly fine and brushing off the situation. "Maybe."
He peers down at you for a moment and the welcoming feeling of your radiance starts to crawl into his chest. Almost like you were right where you needed to be, in his home, in his bed under his safeguarding. He wants nothing more than that. It's almost a bit perturbing how you are seemingly fine.
"Go to sleep." You mumble.
"You go to sleep."
"No, you first,"
"Who else is going to shield you against creatures of the night?"
You pause for a moment. "Good point."
He smiles as he walks over to the armchair, gun propped up against his left leg as he sits to face you. You're already curling up in a ball, and your chest rises and falls at a tranquil pace.
"Good night, Blair." He feels his eyes drooping as his vision becomes bleary.
You chuckle at the idiotic nickname. "Good night, Cowboy."
The remnants of tiny, foolish smiles are left on your faces as you drift off to sleep in your respective spaces. The last passing thought that crosses your mind is Keegan's tender gaze and his fingers brushing against your lips. Keegan wonders what is making you so giddy before the world around him fades out.
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As morning breaks, sunlight filters through the curtains, casting a gentle glow on the room. The spring breeze wafts into the wisps of your hair and your eyes flutter open. The seat in front of you is now empty and the balcony door is wide open, and yet you're calm as you rise out of bed. Birds are chirping and the incessant droning of cicadas buzzing loudly against your eardrums is merely white noise when you recognize the low rumble of your truck's engine pulling up. There is an urgency that surges within you and soon you're sprinting out the door, and the heat of the cobblestone stings at the soles of your feet but you don't care.
The engine cuts and Keegan climbs out of the truck, sleeves rolled up in his army green henley, and he's wearing a clean pair of relaxed, light-wash jeans that skim the leather of his Tecovas. He peers up at you with wintry hues, tipping his hat, and in that instant, you're transported back to your childhood—Mr. Russ, tipping his hat with those same eyes and that glorious smile that always made your heart race.
The resemblance was both striking and uncanny, but damn, you were totally not complaining.
"Mornin', little lady. You're up quite early." He puts his hands on his hips and he's no longer the stone-faced, vendetta-filled Cowboy that you met last night. He's your friendly Appalachian Cowboy who provides you the sweet, sweet southern hospitality with a charming smile and a bit of a North Carolinian twang that sets your groins on fire.
"Mornin', Cowboy. Fixed my truck, did you?" You lean against the French iron wrought railing with your ruffled hair and white nightgown, rippling in the slight draft that carries the healing scent of sage and lavender. The fabric forms around your body and Keegan notices how it traces the outline of your curves and how the sun is hitting you just perfect enough for you to look like a literal angel.
But it's still the unrelenting, disconcerting feeling that creeps up on him when he looks up at you so unbothered, airheaded with that buoyant grin on your face. Was it really just a facade?
"Fixed it good enough for you to get back on your way." He turns from you to the truck and then back to you. "By the way, where were you headed?"
"Back to the old man." You cross your leg over the other, waiting for his response. He watches as the skin of your legs peeks out from under the peignoir and it's a bit enticing.
"I didn't contact him if that's what you're askin'" His hand acts like a sun visor to block the light out of his sensitive eyes to take a good gander at you.
"I would hope not. Don't need to send him into cardiac arrest." You joke and you see his shoulders shaking a bit, suggesting a chuckle.
"Made you breakfast."
"Yeah?" You simper, leaning a little more against the railing.
He can't help the way his grin broadens as he peers up at your flirty form. "Careful now, can't have you comin' back home with a broken neck, can we?"
Shit. Shit. Shiiiiit.
Goddamn him and his pretty face. He's already heading inside as you're locking in on him, but Keegan isn't one to give you the satisfaction. He'll play the long game and he'll enjoy every minute of it. From the way you're sitting next to him at the table with your dress bunched up to your thighs to the way you sensually lick your spoon covered with cream and he's internally chuckling at the mess you've made on the corners of your lips, feigning gullibility to get a rise out of him. Admittedly, it's hot. He wants nothing more than to lick your fingers clean and sloppily kiss your sweet cream-laden lips.
Mmmm.
He doesn't say anything. Just enjoys his breakfast and keeps his gaze lowered like a gentleman. The company of a beautiful woman is enough for him on a fine Sunday morning like this.
You can only wonder what he's thinking as you act like a giddy schoolgirl who's trying to get the attention of her professor. Not that you had a significant age gap with Keegan, but in his original line of work there was a massive lapse. Being a retired Marine had probably mentally aged him over give or take 10 years would have been your best guess. And leaving the farm to his cousins in his absence probably impacted him even more, well, according to your gossip girl of a father at least.
He made trips down to NC every so often to check on his favorite, reclusive cowboy, sometimes tending to his facilities when need be. You never tagged along though. In your mind, you were a city girl who didn't mind dressing up as a cowgirl if she saw fit. So coming down from your city job, in the comfort of your sweet loft that overlooked the NOVA skyline didn't exactly make you miss the Appalachia trails.
Still, it is nice being back here with a somewhat familiar stranger in a home you had only seen the outside of because, for the majority of your life, you had so desperately tried to force out the rural in you. Call it toxic, but leaving the mountains always felt like the haze had lifted from your brain. It was unsettling to be here for too long.
"You're nervous."
You glance up from the runny eggs that you have been working on for the past twenty minutes. You give him a sheepish grin. "This place makes me nervous."
"Itching to go back to the city, huh?"
That elicits a small chuckle from you. "And what do you know about me?"
"Well, according to your father," He says in a knowing tone and you narrow your eyes at him as he gives you a coy smile. "you love the city too much to move back."
"I don't think I'm too good for it. Here, I mean."
"Didn't say that. The Appalachia isn't for everyone." He butters his toast and then munches on it and soon it vanishes into his mouth. The night before is washed away from your memory, but Keegan loses track of his thoughts as he stares at the leftover jagged lines embedded into your skin from a creature that he knew you wanted to forget. A glance at his watch and he's up, wiping his hands and mouth with the serviette that was on his lap before he places it on the table. "You ready?"
"You got somewhere to be?" You raise your brows, not quite ready to leave yet.
"Matter o'fact I gotta date with an employee from Tractor Supply Co in about an hour, and it's thirty minutes out."
"New livestock?" You sip at your coffee.
A sad smile graces his lips. "Yeah, my last eldest cattle just passed away a few weeks ago."
You frown. "I'm sorry."
For a moment you swear you saw him get teary-eyed, but he quickly shakes himself out of the grief, grabbing his keys as he downs his glass of ice water. He stops himself for a moment as you get up to push your chair in and he can't help himself from tracing his fingers over the claw marks on either side of your shoulders. You shudder from the remembrance and his touch.
"[name]," He starts to express but your mood sours.
"Stop."
His expression falters and so does his hand as he lets it drop to his side. You didn't want to remember any of it. He notices how you clutch onto your necklace and he drops the subject.
"Your trucks waiting." He takes your hand and deposits the keys into your palm.
You give him a tight-lipped smile. "Thank you."
You begin to approach your truck and you feel relief washing over you as you run your hand over the tarnished, rusted hood of the Dodge before you open the driver door. As you climb in you notice that all your belongings remain untouched. Scattered cassette tapes, polaroids, and the little Hawaiian girl that swayed with every movement still plastered onto the dash. The leather seats seem to have abrasions, revealing the cushion beneath, but you write it off as a bear maybe deciding to try and access your vehicle after you had abandoned it.
"…[name], ….[name]….!"
You're snapped out of your stupor, recollecting your thoughts as you glance over at him leaning his body against your truck. "I checked the vehicle, it's all clear for you to go. Should make it back alright."
"Why wouldn't it be if you fixed the engine?"
The look you give him is blank, free from concern and any worry that may have been left on your face from last night.
He nods, pushing his hands into his jean pockets. "Right, well, it was nice seeing you all grown up."
That provokes a reaction. Heat is rising to your cheeks and Keegan is standing there looking cool as ever as he takes off his hat and wipes the sweat off his brow before putting it back on.
"Thank you." You say with more feeling, only your eyes acknowledging the horrors of last night. And that's enough for Keegan.
"You take care now." He tips his hat with a good-natured grin and you snicker at his little cowboy bit.
He waves to you as you back out of his driveway and you glance over from your rearview mirror as his towering figure disappears and so does any anamnesis from the evening prior. Or at least, you told yourself that.
And that was April. Months have gone by and Keegan doesn't exactly expect you to keep in contact. He's even surprised to hear a, '[name], says hello, by the way.' from your father during their weekly check-in.
And he definitely does not expect to see your truck in his driveway when he's coming back from milking his cows for the day with his new set of eyes that's in dog form, wagging her tail in anticipation as she sits.
"German Shepherd, eh? Suits you." You simper at him, leaning against the pillar of his home with glossy lips, and a cutesy red paisley swing dress that just barely covers your thighs. Your boots are hardly broken in as they dig into the grassy field and your hair is a little disheveled in an endearing way.
"Name's Miley." He peels off his gloves, shoving them into his back pocket. He's completely taken aback by your sudden presence, though he's not one to complain about a pretty lady showing up at his door.
"Hey, Miley." You coo, holding your hand to her and she's immediately reciprocating your energy tenfold as she jumps up and down, causing you to giggle and pet her soft fur.
Keegan doesn't even need to say anything as he glances down at the German Shepherd and she's already sitting on the ground between you two.
"Miss me?" You ask, coyly.
"Could ask you the same thing, Blair." He tilts his head to the side, eyeing you suspiciously. Something was off.
"I was just in town."
"Uh huh."
It doesn't take long before the act drops and distress is carving into your features. Lips are trembling in fear as your eyes begin to water.
"Something's been following me, Keegan." Your body naturally falls against his chest and his breath hitches a bit at your contact and the smell of your perfume wafts into his senses.
Fuck.
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mini taglist: @keegansshark @soapsgf @milkteaarttime
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sanguineterrain · 7 hours
Note
Your writing is so damn good, you execute every request perfectly 😭
Could you maybe write something where Dick's insecure partner wants to break up with him because their self-image is getting worse cause they feel they can't catch up to the Golden Boy reputation, superheroes, billionaires and so on?
hi, thanks for the request! I hope I did it justice :) a brief interlude from jaytodd before we return to our regularly scheduled program lol
dick grayson x gn!reader. low self esteem, an almost breakup, reader feeling insecure, threatened, sad. happy ending! 2.1k words
****
You've been tugging at your outfit for ten minutes. At this rate, you'll have to concede that this is as good as it's going to get.
"My love, you almost ready?"
You sigh and watch your reflection fold its arms.
"Yeah," you say softly. "'M ready."
The door opens. Your heart swoops.
Dick is beautiful, as usual. Your boyfriend can do a lot, including fill a suit. Both your and his outfits were tailor-made because that's one of the perks of being the son of a billionaire.
Over and over, you'd insisted you could wear off-the-rack, and over and over, Dick had said that was silly, that Bruce wouldn't mind.
And it's true that what you're wearing flatters you better than anything from Macy's or Marshall's would've. But you know it won't help tonight. Not in a room full of Gotham's elite.
"Just as I suspected," Dick says, immediately draping his arms over your hips. "You're gonna steal the show tonight."
He's lying.
That voice in your head has gotten louder recently, and you don't know how to turn it off.
You kiss him instead of responding. Dick enthusiastically reciprocates, always delighted when you touch him. You used to think it would be enough.
But ever since you found out that not only are you dating a billionaire philanthropist with a face that makes angels weep, but that said guy is also arguably the most beloved hero in Gotham, maybe second only to the Batman (who's his freaking dad?!), you've begun to have doubts.
You pull back. Dick's tie perfectly sets off his eyes. They're bright as they look at you.
"Everything okay?" he asks, brushing your cheek with his thumb.
"Uh-huh," you say, trying to smile. "Just nervous."
“Hey, it's alright. I'll be by your side all night. I'll save you from any and all small talk, promise." He winks. "And we can duck out early, get hot chocolate from that place you like. They won't care."
Dick's always doing that. Always catering to you. You're just some nobody who happened to stumble into the best relationship you’ve ever had with a golden god.
Dick never reminds you of that. That he could do better. He doesn't have to—you know it all on your own.
You swallow. “Okay. If you're sure. I... I would like to leave early, Gray."
“‘Course, baby,” Dick says, attaching his cuff links. "Anything you want."
You turn back to the mirror, wondering if you can reinvent your personality before you go and remind everyone what a mistake Dick Grayson has made in choosing you. 
****
The party is tasteful, though a little stuffy. You're only here because Dick is going to give a speech, and he asked you to come support him. And while you know it's better for him to go without you so you won't dull his shine, it seems Dick hasn't quite figured that out.  
You hold onto Dick’s arm as he makes his usual rounds. Dick doesn't enjoy these events, you know that, but he's fluid in his interactions. There is no doubt he’s Bruce Wayne’s prodigy. With his suit, his hair, his easy posture, Dick is almost unrecognizable from when you woke up with him this morning. 
He's in his element. All you can do is peer in and watch. 
Dick leans in and slips a hand around your waist after the fourth interaction with a donor. A donor who, again, acted like Dick may as well have been dragging around a coat rack with how intently they ignored you. Not that you give a shit about what the one percent have to say about you, except sometimes they say a lot of mean things, things you're pretty sure they don't let Dick overhear, and sometimes you start wondering if Dick is the only person who can't see truth in what they say, and sometimes—
“Hey.” Dick leans in to talk in your ear. He's warm and solid. You wish that was a comfort. “You okay?”
You're exhausted. 
“Uh-hmm.”
He is going to wake up one of these days and realize he can have it so much better. 
Dick moves like he's about to say more, pull your closer and permeate your senses with his gold.
“Dickie!” 
Sweet, tinkling laughter echoes across the room. The crowd parts for this new woman, an obvious socialite, dressed to the nines and gorgeous. 
Her dress matches Dick's tie. You feel sick.
When she reaches you two, she wastes no time grabbing Dick and kissing his cheek. He extricates himself from her, like he's done a million times before with everyone else who thinks they're entitled to a piece of Dick Grayson. He shoots you an apologetic look. You look away.
“My God, it’s been what, ten years?” she says. Then she sees you. “Oh! Where are my manners? I’m Caroline Banesbury, Duchess of Middlesworth. I heard the Dickie Grayson was going to be here, and I had to come.”
“Been a while,” Dick says, smiling blandly. “How are you, Caroline?”
“Spectacular! Father just bought another castle. You should come and see it sometime.” She plucks a flute of champagne off of a passing tray and smiles behind the rim of the glass. 
“Dick and I go way back,” she says, gaze roving over him. “I hear you're transforming Blüdhaven. Taking a page out of Bruce's book, hm? You always had a big heart, Dickie.” 
She grabs his arm and links it with hers. You sigh and take a sip of your own drink. You half-wish Poison Ivy would come in and gas the room or something.
Dick clears his throat and maneuvers out of her grip once more, letting go of her with a light pat. He returns to you, snugly holding your shoulders.
"This is my partner," he says about you.
Caroline hums, looking over you. "I see. Pleasure."
You nod. She turns back to Dick.
“If I can be of any help to your project, you let me know,” she adds, glancing down at where her empty arm now hangs at her side. “Anything.” 
“That's generous of you, Carrie.” 
Dick and I go way back.
Oh. Right. You're stupid. They've dated. 
“We should have dinner,” she continues. “Catch up. I'm dying to know what Gotham's darling has been up to.”
“I feel sick,” you announce. 
Dick and Caroline turn to you. Caroline looks perplexed, like you've just said you like to chew concrete. 
“Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,” she says, hardly sparing you a glance. "Perhaps you ought to lie down."
You feel Dick's eyes on you. If you don't leave soon, he'll know you're lying. Possibly the worst part about dating Batman's protégé.
Suddenly, leaving this hall is the most important thing you've ever had to do. You feel like you'll die if you don't.
Your feet start moving.
"Baby—"
Anyway, this is Caroline's chance. She can swoop in with her trust fund and while you think Dick can do way better than her—he can always do better—anyone is better than you. For Dick Grayson, who has been a master acrobat since he was a child, son of Batman, leader of the Titans, indubitably intelligent, capable, beautiful, the best goddamn guy you'll ever know—
You've lost your way. You're out of the gala, away from duchesses and doom. And you meant to get your coat but this hall that Bruce rented is enormous. You've no idea where you are. But you're alone.
Bruce must've known too, how unfit you are for his son. And why wouldn't he tell Dick? Unless Dick ignored him, because Dick, for all his smarts, is stupidly in love with you, thinks you're where he should put his heart, is certain you won't fumble and drop it.
Warm, callused fingers catch your wrist and you remember, suddenly, Dick telling you once, after you'd nearly stumbled into the street, that he'd never let you fall.
You meet his eyes. Why does he look at you like that? Who gave him the right to look at you like-like you—as if you could ever deserve—
"Hey," he says, squeezes your hand. "Hey, hey. What's going on?"
Dick Grayson is not a trusting man but he trusts you and good God, you're about to break him.
"I need to break up with you," you blurt.
"What?" he breathes. "What—why would you say that?"
You wish he'd give you the slip he gave everyone in that room, gently separate your arm from his hand. You never learned how to evade Dick's touch.
"Because it's true. Dick, please understand—"
"No, I'm trying to understand. Because yesterday—no, tonight, you were fine—"
"No, Dick, I wasn't fine! I haven't been fine in months!"
You wrench your arm away. He looks like you slapped him.
"You know anybody I talk to in there means nothing, right? You know that, honey." He's pleading.
You curl your fist into your eye. "It's more than that, Gray."
"Then tell me what the problem is," he says desperately. "Tell me and we'll fix it. I promise we can fix it."
"You can't!" you say, voice cracking. "You can't fix me."
Dick shakes his head. "I don't—"
"Why can't you let me break up with you with a little bit of dignity?" you ask. "Do you have to be better at this too?"
"I don't want to break up," he says, tugging at a handful of his hair. "This doesn't make sense. We're happy. You're happy, aren't you? Don't I make you happy?"
"Of course," you choke out. "Of course you make me happy. But you don't see I'm bad for you. You're wonderful and perfect and golden, Dick. And I'm a stain. I need to be scrubbed away."
"Wh—that's not true!"
"Everywhere we go, people see me with you and are immediately confused. I'm not a superhero, I'm not royalty, I'm not a socialite, and yet somehow I've managed to snag Gotham's darling. This is a mistake. I'm trying to do you a favor and wake you up!"
Dick's face is hard with anger. How could you have thought this would be easy?
"I don't need to be woken up! What is it that makes you think I have no agency over the people I choose to spend time with? Everyone I meet thinks they're entitled to touch me, demand me. Everyone but you. You, the person I chose to love, who I love everyday. Do you think you pulled the wool over my eyes and you're snapping me out of it? Is that what you really think?"
And isn't this the most puzzling thing? That he's not sad or gently accepting; Dick is mad.
"I just—" He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't mean to yell, but really, I can't bear it if you see me as some god on a pedestal, unattainable and inhuman, like everyone else sees me. I love you on purpose."
"You're so accomplished, though," you say weakly. "You're..." You wave your hand over him. "You're fucking Nightwing, D. You were Robin, you have superheroes for friends, Batman for a parent, you're beloved by, like, all of Jersey—"
"My love, you know those are just parts of me. You see all of me. You know me. And that's not a one-way privilege, okay? I'm so damn lucky to know you, to love you, to be with you, to fight with you. To fight for you. Knowing you isn't something I take for granted."
"But I'm boring," you say, tears spilling over. "Jesus Christ, Dick, I'm plain and untalented, barely a dime to my name, so painfully ordinary that—"
"Listen to me," he says, taking your face in his hands. "Flying around or shooting lasers out of your eyes, sure, it's cool, and it's helpful for taking down an alien dictator. But I don't need you to do any of that, honey. I don't need nor want you to be anyone but you. I wasn't tricked or swindled into loving you. We caught each other halfway, just like we were meant to."
You let him pull you into his arms, let him press your tear stains to his silk pocket square, let his hair fall around you.
His embrace is solid, firm, but when he inhales, his shoulders shake.
"Do you—" He swallows, throat against yours. "Do you still want to break up?"
His heart beats against your cheek.
"I'm just afraid you'll get tired of me," you whisper. "Bored. Annoyed."
"I won't," he whispers. "You're the least boring person ever. It's never boring to be loved."
You squeeze your eyes shut. Dick's warmth encloses you.
"No, I don't want to break up. I'm sorry."
He holds you tighter, and you realize you never had to match Dick's tie. Not when you've got his heart.
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gi4hao · 15 hours
Text
☆ in which a bag of groceries make seungkwan measure the extent of your love
☆ seungkwan x gn!reader — cw: food, seungkwan’s tits are out (._.)
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there’s a tension growing in your upper back from carrying so many grocery bags on your own. giving yourself a quick shoulder rub, you make your way to your bedroom whose door is still shut.
carefully opening it, you’re relieved to see it’s still pitch black inside; you’ve apparently been quiet enough not to wake seungkwan up. or at least you have been until now:
“hey sunshine”, his drowsy voice greets you from the bed. in the dark, you can barely make out his arms stretching over his head. “where were you? what time is it?”
he leans to the side to turn on your bedside lamp; the sight of his messy hair and sleepy eyes make your heart swoon just a little.
“10 am. i went grocery shopping, figured the supermarket would be less crowded in the morning”, you reply, sitting next to him.
and you were right, there was practically no one in the aisles today; which was more than welcome considering you had to buy enough groceries to feed all twelve members’ stomachs tonight.
“you should have woken me up!” seungkwan protests, but the way his eyes are still struggling with adjusting to the light proves how much he needed to sleep in. “…did you find everything you wanted?” he asks, lifting one end of the covers to invite you in.
you nod as you happily snuggle against his bare chest, something that might be due to the fact that most of his comfy t-shirts are hidden away on your side of the closet.
“i bought some peanut butter for the cookies, of course i’ll also make regular ones for vernon”, you start explaining, trying to remember the items in your bags: “some paper towels too. i also got some mangos to make those smoothies cheol told me about. oh and i found jun’s shampoo! the one that was sold out everywhere! he asked for two bottles just in case.”
cheek pressed against his skin, you can’t really see his smile growing a bit more with every sentence. but something about the way his fingers start to gently rub your scalp lets you know how grateful he’s feeling.
because not only have you made active efforts to remember these little details about the people he loves, you’ve made them happily and willingly. as if loving him and loving the people he cares about naturally came hand in hand to you.
“i think it’s about time i start gatekeeping you”, he eventually blurts out, bringing the covers up to your nose. “i’ll call the guys, tell them tonight is cancelled. i’m never letting you out in the world again.”
a bashful smile tugging on your lips, you prop yourself up on an elbow to look at him: “you can’t do that. you love showing me off too much. besides, we can’t rob the world of our insane chemistry.”
your words draw a chuckle out of him, because not even him and his usual wittiness can’t deny what you just said.
“i love you”, he simply replies, his fingertips lightly scratching the back of your neck.
you’ve been hearing these three words on a regular basis for the past couple of years, yet you’re still unable to suppress the giddiness in your eyes.
“i’m glad you do… because i paid the groceries with your credit card”, you reply teasingly, but it doesn’t take more than a few seconds before you add a sincere: “i love you too.”
basking in the intimacy of your old lamp’s yellowish hues, he leans forward to leave a delicate kiss on your lips, your breaths intertwining as his hand lays a bit flatter on your neck.
his smile echoes on your face when you finally break the kiss, as you watch him readjust his position to rest more comfortably on the pillow.
“you know, i might not actually gatekeep you forever… but i’m gonna borrow your freedom for one more hour”, he says, arms keeping you close to him, “i’m not ready to start the day yet.”
and for the next hour, neither of you can find their way back to sleep. instead, the room fills with waves of mundane conversations, laughter and soft kisses, reflecting the simple happiness of knowing you found the right person to spend a lifetime of mornings with.
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Coming Out
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Emily Prentiss x fem!reader Warnings: some explicit language, mention of an unsub hurting Emily 😱, vague insinuations of homophobia, mostly fluff on fluff, feat. loyal himbo Derek Morgan Word Count: 2k
Summary: Emily gets injured on the job, and all she really wants is you, her girlfriend. But she's not out to the rest of the team yet. Can she be vulnerable enough to share that part of herself with the team? Can she be vulnerable enough to let you take care of her? Takes place at the end of S3.E2.
Emily dabbed at her head and winced, checking her watch to see if it had been long enough to take more pain medication. But despite getting clocked with a plank of wood, she was glad to be on the jet, glad to be back with her team because they really were starting to feel like her team. Who was she kidding? She loved her job.
According to the pilot, the team would be landing at Quantico in a little over an hour. Emily grabbed her phone, discreetly shoving it into her pocket, before heading to the back of the plane. She needed to call you, but the rest of the team didn't know about you yet. Hell, the rest of the team didn't even know she was gay. It felt too personal, and she'd been hurt by people's reactions–people she loved and trusted deeply–too many times. She played her relationships and her sexuality close to the vest.
Reid tapped Emily's arm as she passed by.
"Oh! Are you going all the way to the back?"
Emily tensed. "Yep."
"Could you bring me a Sprite?"
She felt her shoulders relax, and she patted Reid on the arm. "Sure."
After knocking on the bathroom door to make sure that truly no one was around, she called you, her voice hushed as she rifled through tiny airplane soda cans, looking for Reid's Sprite.
"Hey, Em," you said, your voice bright.
"Hey," she said, a goofy smile spreading across her face. "What are you up to?"
"Nothing much. Saw a street rat earlier. I named him Guillermo. I think he's on the prowl for a girlfriend."
Emily laughed, covering her mouth.
"How was Milwaukee?" you asked.
"Good. Really good. We got the guy. We're on the plane now."
She could nearly hear how smug you were through the phone.
"You're glad you went back," you snickered, relishing in being right. She'd sworn that it wasn't a big deal, that it'd be easy to get another good job, but you knew her heart was with the BAU.
Emily sighed. "I am. You were right."
"You're gonna stay?"
"Looks that way."
"I knew it!" you crowed. "I'm glad. You're too good at your job to quit it."
"Thanks, love. Listen, Y/N, can I ask you a favor?"
"Of course! Anything."
Emily winced, touching the swollen bump on her head. "We land in about an hour. Can you pick me up and stay at my place tonight?"
"Wow." You drew out the vowel, milking the fact that Emily needed you for once. "You missed me that much, huh?"
"Well, yes, of course, but... I, uh... I kind of have a concussion?"
Your tone shifted immediately from smug to concerned. "What?! Why?! What happened!?"
"Unsub hit me with a plank of wood," she admitted reluctantly.
"Jesus Christ, Em! Are you okay!?"
"I'm fine, baby, I promise," she reassured you. "I just got a little banged up, that's all. But I'll need you to wake me up every few hours and make sure I'm cognizant."
"I think I have some soup in the freezer," you observed, your voice far away. You'd put her on speakerphone to rifle through the cabinets. "And I have a thermometer. I don't know, do concussions cause fevers? I've never had one."
Emily shook her head, smiling. She loved that your first response, always, was to take care of her. Emily was not used to being taken care of, and she didn't let many people do it. She certainly wouldn't let many people see it either. But she let you.
"No thermometers needed. Just you and your car and more you when we get home."
"You got it. When did you say you land?"
"In about an hour."
"Okay. I'll leave in a few."
"Oh," Emily added quickly. "And you're cleared to drive into Quantico. They know the car you drive and they've got your ID on file. Just show it to them at the gate."
You paused. "Well, that's a little Big Brother of them."
"I gave it to them a few months ago. Just in case you ever needed to come by. Sorry, I should've told you."
"It's okay," you decided, pulling on a jacket and a beanie. "It feels kind of badass to be on Quantico's list."
Emily laughed, almost excited to have a concussion because it meant you'd be snuggled right up to next to her for however long it took to get better. 48 hours at least.
"Alright, baby," she finished, Reid's Sprite in hand. "I'll see you in a bit."
"Bye, love."
Emily wiped the grin off her face before returning to the cabin with Reid's Sprite–it'd look suspicious if she was too happy coming back.
An hour later, the team was going their separate ways in the parking lot, waving goodbyes and slamming car doors under the buzzing lights.
Emily leaned on the wall outside the building entrance, relishing the crisp night air.
"You need a ride, Prentiss?" Morgan asked as he walked out, used go-bag slung over his shoulder. "You shouldn't be driving" He pointed to her head.
"No, that's okay," Emily waved him off. "I've got– uh... someone's... picking me up."
Fuck, she thought. The concussion was not helping her ability to lie well.
Morgan stared at her suspiciously.
"What?" Emily laughed, trying to act normal.
"Why are you acting shifty?"
"I'm not!" she protested.
Morgan smirked and waggled his eyebrows. "Do you have a secret boyfriend?"
"What?" Emily said, laughing a little too forcefully. "No!"
He crossed his arms and waited. "You're seriously not gonna tell me?"
Emily leaned against the brick wall, rubbing her forehead. On the one hand, she was tired of keeping you–and herself–a secret. And if anyone was going to be supportive of someone on the team getting laid, it would be Morgan. But on the other, did she really know that much about him? She didn't know his religious background. Sure, he'd defend a gay victim, but that was his job. This was personal.
Emily sighed before replying. "I have... I have a secret girlfriend."
The silence felt like it lasted hours, stretching between them until Emily was sure the chasm would never close again, and that with just a few words, just by being herself, she'd ruined any chance of a friendship with Derek Morgan. It wouldn't be the first time. It probably wouldn't be the last.
Morgan seemed to think deeply before leaning against the wall next to Emily, turning to look her in the eye.
"Prentiss, why didn't you tell us you were gay?"
Emily was afraid to look at him, but when she did, her heart soared. He looked at her with nothing but love and respect and appreciation, no hint of hatred or disgust. If anything, he looked sad that she'd waited so long to tell him.
"I don't know," she shrugged. "I don't always get a good reaction."
"Well, you know nobody on this team would have a problem with that, right? Hell, Garcia'd probably hang pride flags everywhere."
"I know," Emily nodded. "I just... I don't think I'm ready yet. For everyone to know. Soon, though."
Morgan nodded, then thought for a few minutes before asking, "Is it serious?"
Emily chuckled. "Being gay? Yeah, I'd say so."
Morgan shoved her shoulder gently, mindful of the day's injuries. "No! The girl! How long have you been seeing her?"
"A little over six months."
"So, it's serious."
Emily grinned. She was glad to have someone to talk to about this. She'd held it so close for so long. She wasn't used to having anyone to tell about you. Maybe Morgan could be that person.
"Promise not to tell the others?"
Morgan put his hand over his heart. "Promise."
"I'd marry her tomorrow if she'd let me."
"Wow." Morgan raised his eyebrows, smiling lightly. "Prentiss is in love," he said, teasing her.
Emily fought a wide smile, but lost in the end. "Oh, shut up. And don't tell anyone. Especially her."
"Your secret's safe with me," Morgan reassured her. And she could tell he meant it. Emily trusted him, she realized. She trusted him to be a good friend, to keep her secrets. She trusted him not to out her to the rest of the team. He'd let her go at her own pace when it came to telling the others.
"She better be amazing," Morgan added. "I don't know how anyone could be good enough for you."
Just at that moment, a pair of headlights crept slowly into the parking lot, hesitant and unsure. It had to be you. Emily stepped forward and waved a bit, then turned to Morgan.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow?" she said.
"Not with that head, you won't," Morgan observed.
You put the car in park next to the curb and leapt out of the driver's seat, hurrying over to Emily.
"Oh my god!" you exclaimed, anger and concern washing over you. "I thought you you said you were fine!"
You gingerly touched Emily's face and pulled her head down to examine the butterfly bandage above her eyebrow.
"Look at this," you grumbled, more to yourself than anyone else. "It's already bruising." You glared at the butterfly bandage. "Did a doctor do this or you? If it was you, I think we should clean it with rubbing alcohol at home."
Morgan looked absolutely delighted, both because you seemed like a delightful person and because Emily was beet red at being observed with you.
"Y/N, I'm fine," Emily said firmly, grasping your fingers in hers and removing them from her face. "This is my colleague Derek Morgan. Morgan, my girlfriend, Y/N."
You looked Morgan over and immediately decided you liked him. Mostly because you could tell that he really cared about Emily. But also because he looked mischievous, like he'd tease her. And if there was anything you loved, it was teasing Emily. You shook his hand enthusiastically. "It's really nice to meet you," you said. And you meant it.
But you didn't have time to chat with Morgan tonight. You were too worried about Emily.
"You don't look fine," you argued, looking to Morgan for backup. "Does she look fine to you?"
Morgan grinned at Emily, raising his eyebrows. "She definitely looks like she could use some TLC."
"Oh, and she'll get it alright," you assured him, opening the passenger door for Emily. "Shall we?"
Emily bent gingerly to get into the car, and you were careful to guard her head from the ceiling.
"Derek, it was really nice to meet you," you said, shaking his hand one more time for good measure as Emily rolled down the window, staring bullets at Morgan.
"You too, Y/N," he said, looking over your shoulder at Emily. "I hope you all have a very marry evening."
Emily pointed at him aggressively behind your back, mouthing, "SHUT. UP."
"See you, Prentiss," he called as you pulled away. He laughed and called out, "I hope it's a real honeymoon from work!"
Emily's hand shot out the window, flipping him off.
Later that night, your alarm buzzed and you blinked awake. You forgot for a moment that you were at Emily's, but her strong arms wrapped protectively around your waist were enough to remind you where you were.
You turned slowly to face a sleeping Emily, brushing her hair out of her face.
"Em. Hey. You gotta wake up, honey."
She groaned, placing a hand on her head.
"Sorry," you grimaced. "Gotta make sure your brain's alright."
"My brain is fine," she growled.
"Oh, yeah?" you joked, checking the time before shaking a few pills into your hand from the pill bottle on the nightstand. "Who am I, then?"
"The love of my life, Whitney Houston."
You laughed, which made Emily laugh, too. But she quickly doubled over in pain, groaning.
"Here, take these," you said gently, handing her the pills and a glass of water. "It'll help."
She took the pills obediently and lay back down.
"You know," you said, pulling up the blankets to make sure they covered Emily's shoulders. "I may not be Whitney Houston..." You wrapped your arms around her and drew her to you, and she burrowed her head into the space between your neck and your collarbone.
"But I think I'm a close second," you finished, running your fingers rhythmically through Emily's hair.
She sighed contentedly, pressing into you, then moving one of your arms to wrap it more tightly around her.
"Why are you so good to me?" she asked, quiet. You couldn't quite tell if it was a joke or serious, but you'd reply the same either way.
"Because I love you, you nerd."
She leaned up, planting a kiss underneath your chin. "I love you, too."
Within minutes she was conked out again, and you were setting another alarm, ready to do it all over again in a few hours.
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can i request a fluffy johnnie fic, just like how he would show his gf who is also a youtuber in videos! kinda like the jake fic 'as i suspected'!
thank you and i love your fics <33
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Warnings: fluff, swearing, kissing
As I Suspected | Jake Webber
Enjoy!
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You’re sat on Johnnie’s lap, facing him as his hands hold your hips and his lips are on your neck. You slide your hands up his check, resting them on the sides of his shoulders.
“Jake’s going to be here any minute.” You mumble, closing your eyes as you feel Johnnie’s hands slide up your shirt, “Mhm.” Johnnie looks up at you, his voice in a soft whisper, “You know he’s always late because he forgot something at home.”
You laugh slightly, nodding as you lean in to press your lips to his. Johnnie gives your hips a little squeeze and pulls your body closer to his. He groans lowly as you grind down onto him, lying back as he pulls you with him.
You kiss up his neck, across his jaw and up his cheeks until you finally reach his lips. He smiles and slides a hand up your back, “Are you going to behave in today’s video?”
You nod, “uh huh.” He laughs slightly, “Somehow, I don’t believe you.” You roll your eyes, smooshing your lips back onto his. You make out for another moment or two before Jake’s voice causes your body to fly off of Johnnie’s, “Well, well, well. What do we have here?”
You look at Jake then Johnnie. All three of you continue to look around at each other until one of you finally breaks the silence.
“I. Fucking. Knew it.” Jake points, “You lying little sluts.” He walks in pointing between you and Johnnie, “I asked Johnnie about this, what? Last fucking month and you said no, you were just friends.” He laughs, “I was fucking right.”
“You can’t say anything, Jake.“ you look at him and he rolls his eyes, “Do I have to pinky swear?” You laugh, holding up your pink as you nod, “Yes, sir. You do.” He huffs, looking at you with a smirk as he wraps his pinky around yours.
“Great, now that that’s over. Do you want to explain now or after the video?” Jake looks between you and Johnnie and in unison, “After.”
You’ve made it half way through the stream, and so far, Jake hasn’t said a word about what he walked in on. You’re sitting in the back and Johnnie was up front with Jake.
Every now and then, Jake would glance between you and Johnnie, teasing you subtly and it drove you nuts.
“That was really sour, holy- oh fuck.” Johnnie groans, “I hate this.” Jake picks one up and plops the whole piece of candy in his mouth. Instantly groaning and looking for someplace to spit it out at.
Johnnie holds his hand out and you stare at Johnnie as you think about how you love how caring towards Jake he is - even if it’s allowing Jake to spit his slobbered up candy in his hand.
“Fuck that..” Jake gasps, “Where did you get these?” Johnnie shrugs, “I don’t know, some website.” Jake looks at Johnnie, “What the black market? Now our tongues are gonna fall off.” Jake sticks his tongue out, gripping the end of his tongue, “I need this.”
You roll your eyes and look down as Johnnie hands one back to you, “Do you want to try one?” You shake your head, “No.” Jake whips back, “Do it.” You shake your head, “No. I seen how you guys were, I’m not doing it.”
You laugh and Johnnie nods, “No I don’t blame her. If I could go back and not do this again.” He stops and laughs and Jake joins in laughing, “Nah, you’d still fucking do it, don’t lie.”
Johnnie laughs, “That’s why I stopped.” He pulls the pack up, “I think the worst thing is the shock it gives you in your jaw, like right when you taste it.”
“No dude.” Jake groans, “That shock is soo bad..” he laughs, clearly not thinking, “Almost as bad as the shock of them I walk in on y/n a-“ he stops and lifts his head, making an surprised face as he stares into the camera.
You and Johnnie’s eyes are locked on Jake and the chat is absolutely blowing up.
User 1: FINISH THE SENTENCE JAKE
User 2: when y/n and WHO WERE WHAT
User 3: NAH BABY KEEP IT GOIN
User 4: WHO AND WHO
User 5: JOHNNIE SAVE THE DAY BABY SPILL ITTTT
User 6: WHO BAGGED Y/N!?!?!?
“Yeah, Jake.” You clear your throat, tilting your head, “you wanna..mm.. you wanna finish that sentence?” You try your best not to laugh but you fail and Jake shakes his head laughing, “I said nothing.” He points to the camera, “You all are going insane.”
“The voices are getting to us all.” Johnnie chimes in quietly and you laugh, “For the record, there is nothing to tell, Jake just likes to start drama in my life when he’s bored.” You gently smack Jake on the forehead and he yells dramatically, “Ow! Fuck, oh my god!”
Johnnie reaches over and does what you did and Jake does it back to Johnnie but a little harder, causing a loud smack! to sound through the car. You gasp, immediately laughing, “Oh my god, okay. I think..” you continue to laugh, “I think we’re done with this stream for today.”
“Gotta go guys, my mom is making me get off my game to make me play outside.” Jake says looking know the camera with a sad look, “See ya in the next one.” He waves, along with you and Johnnie, and you all say a quick, “Bye!”
“It’s eating you alive, isn’t it?” Johnnie says as Jake ends the streak and Jake glares up at him, “How did you guys even..” he laughs, “No one suspected anything.”
You shrug, leaning forward, “I guess Johnnie and I are just that good.” You look over at him and he purses his lips. You lean in and press your lips to his and Jake fake gags, “Get a room, you two. Please. I already saw you do it once, I don’t need to see it again.”
You laugh, leaning back and Johnnie reaches his hand back to, lay it on your knee. You lay your hand on his, smiling as you trace his tattoos.
Jake lets out a gasp and fumbles his phone before clutching it to his chest, hand slapped on his mouth.
Johnnie looks over at Jake, “What did you do?” You lean up and Jake laughs into his hand loudly, “Uuuumm.” He drags out slowly, “I really thought I ended the stream it when we all say bye, but it must have not registered because we..” he scratches his head as he tries not to laugh, “we were still streaming.. this entire time..”
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Hello, thank you for reading! Let me know how you liked it and as always, I love yas! 🖤
Likes and reblogs are majorly appreciated!
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alittlebitofsainz · 2 days
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you’re just a boy (and i’m kinda the man)
prompt: “i’m on a one-way trip to take over the world, and i thought you did, but you don’t understand.”
pairing: daniel ricciardo x reader
summary: daniel leaves mclaren, and you decide to put your career first, at the cost of the person you love.
a/n: genuinely made myself sad with this one, sorry :( song is by maisie peters!
masterlist | the spotify wrapped collection
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“I just don’t understand how you can stay with them after everything they’ve put you through.”
you ran a hand through your hair, exasperated.
“that’s just it, danny, you don’t understand.” you sighed, slumping forward on the desk, your elbow resting on the surface and your head resting in your hand. the other hand was gripping the phone held to your ear. “this is my career, it’s my entire life. I might not get another opportunity.”
“you know it’s the same for me, right?” daniel’s voice crackled through the phone after a few moments of silence, his volume quieter now. “this is the end of my career, probably. but it’s gotta be better than staying with mclaren.”
you shook your head, even though he couldn’t see.
“but you’re you, danny. you’ll get another chance, I’m sure. you’re one of the biggest faces in this sport.” you sighed again, “but I’m just me. no one is gonna offer me a second chance.” you tried to explain, raising your head slightly to glance at the rain softly hitting the window.
you heard him mutter something inaudible on the other end of the line, the words obscured by the static of the airwaves. you knew he hated when you did that, talked down about yourself. you’d lost count of the number of times the two of you had sat shoulder to shoulder in your drivers room, trying to boost each others spirits after a bad race. daniel was your teammate, your closest friend, your partner in crime, the love of your life. he’d always been able to see things from your point of view. why couldn’t he understand this decision? a conversation from a few months ago drifted through your mind. whatever we do, we do it together. you’d been the one to say that, and now look at you; reluctant to follow daniel into the unknown because you were scared. scared of the uncertainty. scared of losing your one shot at this career. you’d meant what you’d said at the time, but… no. you couldn’t do it. daniel was nearly the best thing that had ever happened to you, second only to earning a seat in formula one. that had to come first. you had to put yourself first. but it didn’t seem to make this phone call any easier. god, you wished you weren’t hundreds of miles away.
“just think, me, you, the outback. we’ll have all the time for dirt bikes and beach trips that you could possibly want.” daniel’s voice brought you back to the present. you could hear the crack in his voice as he tried to persuade you, the one that told you he already knew this was a losing battle. he was losing you. you tilted your head back, looking up at the ceiling; for the first time you were actually glad that this was all happening over a phone call, that daniel couldn’t see the tears forming on your lower lash line.
“I can’t, danny. you know I can’t.” even if daniel couldn’t see you crying, you were being optimistic if you hoped he couldn’t hear it in your voice.
“I know.” he sighed, the noise soft, quiet. there was silence on the line for just a moment, and you felt inclined to fill it, terrified that the conversation was already drawing to a close. you didn’t want daniel to hang up. you didn’t want to believe that this could all be over just like that.
“I’m really sorry, dan.” you apologised, saying anything to try and keep the momentum of the conversation.
“you don’t need to apologise. it’s not your fault.” came his predictable reply, but his tone was missing the kindness, the affection, you’d come to expect from a phone call with daniel. his voice was flat, monotone, and you found yourself unable to read how he was feeling. it had been a long time since that had happened; you and daniel always used to be on the same wavelength. it felt alien, like you were out of your depth. was he angry? upset? did he just not care anymore?
“we can still make this work, can’t we?”
you’d been avoiding the question, but now there was nothing left to say but that. the pause on the other end of the line didn’t fill you with confidence.
“I want to, god, you don’t even understand how much I want to.” came daniel’s reply, voice no longer monotone, instead betraying the emotions he was feeling. you winced as you could almost hear the ‘but’ on the end of his sentence.
“we can try, right? like, I can come visit you over christmas, then next year you’ll probably be at some of the race weekends anyway, and then I can try and get away from training during summer break…”
the more you spoke, the more you realised how hopeless this was. how could you expect to put enough effort into this relationship when you only had a few weekends spare per year? how could you expect daniel to come and watch and cheer for you at each race weekend, knowing that you were living his dream and he was stuck on the sidelines? your voice faltered as it trailed off, the realisation hitting you. fuck. this was it.
“please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be, y/n.”
you’d never heard daniel’s voice so quiet, with so little power behind it. you didn’t know whether you were even pleased that he was as devastated as you were about all this: how could this be the right decision when neither one of you wanted it? such was the reality of this sport. you swallowed thickly - daniel was right, there was no point in drawing this out, making it difficult. you wouldn’t be reduced to begging; at least you could walk away from this with your pride, if nothing else. you wiped a tear from your cheek with the heel of your free hand, the other gripping the phone so tightly that your knuckles turned white, holding onto it like a lifeline.
“no, you’re right. I’m sorry.” you mumbled in reply, once again glancing up at the ceiling to try and stem the flow of tears. you tried not to picture daniel doing the same thing on the end of the phone; it would only make you cry again.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll catch you at races and stuff, next year.” the finality in daniel’s voice made you draw in a shaky breath, steeling yourself for the aftermath. at least you and daniel had never gone public, you were grateful for that much. still, you’d been best friends in the eyes of the public, practically joined at the hip. people would notice when you no longer spent any time together. you tried to park that thought as your mind started to race; there would be time to deal with all of that later.
“yeah. I’ll see you around.” you couldn’t believe this was the way it would end. I’ll see you around. as if you hadn’t spent the last year and a half in each others pockets. as if every kiss and every I love you meant nothing now. as if you hadn’t spent long nights planning out your future together. none of it mattered now, you realised, tears threatening to fall once again.
“I loved you, y/n. never forget that.”
it felt like your throat closed up at that, unable to dignify daniel’s words with a suitable response. there was so much more you wanted to tell him, wanted to say, but you couldn’t even manage to say it back. you bit your lip, letting silence fill the call for one last time, before pulling your phone away from your ear and hitting the button to hang up.
a tear hit the screen of your phone right next to the daniel’s contact name, before the call ended, and his name disappeared.
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alexxncl · 3 days
Text
‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 34 SPOILERS‼️
masterlist
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i might be getting ahead of myself here, but are we lilith ?? like is that what's happening rn ??? he's not saying mc's name, and raphael doesn't day their name in the next scene...if so then that's actually really fucking sad 💀
it makes sense though, belphie not wanting mc to go into his head bc he's still clinging to the past and doesn't want to lose them forever like he lost his little sister forever, especially since human life is so finite compared to that of a demon or an angel or a reaper
also it's obvious by his choice of words that despite him looking older, belphie is very, very young in his mindscape, just like mammon was. i feel like this also shows how close mams and belphie are even if it's not shown much on screen in the game, or at least how much belphie takes after mammon's, if not all of his older brothers traits, for better or worse
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well nvm...i still think my theory is valid though. belphie wants to go back to his old life and end up not losing lilith, but still have mc with him
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i wonder how similar mammon and belphie's bond in the celestial realm is to their bond in the devildom. is belphie still as reluctant to ask for help and advice openly? is the banter still the same? are there less insults? how does the age gap here cause them to treat each other differently if at all? or the lack of angelic status?
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oh i'm gonna cry
big brother mammon will always have my heart and i need more of him
we know belphie's love of stars and constellations and the night sky in general started when he was in the celestial realm, and seeing it manifest in mammon in his mindscape makes my heart happy, even if mammon isn't the reason he became interested in astronomy (was it michael? lucifer? idk i don't remember)
i also think it's very interesting how belphie's brain is actively working against him "wanting to hide from mc". he literally said "i don't want you to see the inside of my mind" and is hiding away from them. i think, in reality and in his mindscape, he's running from the fact that he has to face his feelings about the idea of mc leaving to go to the "human realm" and the possibility of losing them forever like he lost lilith
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this was (obviously) not beel speaking, but his inner thoughts in the shape and voice of beel. circling back to belphie having the best and worst traits of his brothers, his insecurity and need for reassurance rivals levi's, and we don't get to see it as blatantly because he masks it way better than levi does
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ok so we're here in the timeline...interesting. how much time passed between luci and dia's first meeting and the celestial war? how much time had passed between the celestial war and mc's initial arrival to the devildom? how much had belphie aged?
angels and demons age different than humans do, and belphie doesn't feel any older than like...10 or 11 at the most, but beel seems older than that. maybe its his mind warping things to make himself seem and feel younger, but maybe he really was that young. was lilith even born at this point? how old was belphie during the time of the war ?????
also i'm mad we didn't get to see michael bc i wanna know what he looks like but oh well 🧍🏾
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oh baby :((((
i'm not the biggest belphie fan AT ALL, at least canon belphie, but i think it's necessary to acknowledge how his trauma severely affects the way he acts. he went from blaming himself, to blaming an entire race of people for his sister's death. he feels like he should've been the one to die, even if it meant leaving his twin without him
now, if he got a proper redemption arc after lesson 16, THEN we could talk. i think the devs fumbled his character in that regard, but my hcs about his redemption will have to suffice for now
he didn't want mc to see this dark part of himself because he hates that he still has this mindset, that he's trapped in a cycle of "what ifs" and wishing it were him instead of her, constantly ruminating and letting his anger and grief fester without ever dealing with it properly and letting himself heal. he not only thinks he doesn't deserve to heal, but that he doesn't deserve to live long enough to see himself heal, that he doesnt deserve to live at all
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WHY ARE YOU BEING DIFFICULT????
i mean i knew this would happen since its only lesson 34 and there's still 6 more to go...but damn
i love and hate the fact that he's so smart. like, they could easily just ask barbatos to send them back to the human realm if it was that serious. he's clearly taken a liking to them. lucifer knows something's up, and he won't forge a pact with them until he gets to the bottom of whatever's going on
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initially, i thought it was a spell to bring them back since he'd been the one facilitating the trips into the brothers' mindscapes this whole time, but this is wayyy more interesting
i feel like the barbatoses communicate across timelines, or that their lives intermingle with each others' somehow, so whatever they feel for one person in a specific timeline is felt for ever version of them in every timeline. we know barbatos, at the very least, knows that kayden is an important person in the grand scheme of things, whether it be because of the way diavolo feels about them or because they play a large part in the obey me version of a canon event
if it's more than base level importance, we can assume that there's a level of trust and love that barbatos feels for mc that stretches across time (callback to the login screen's dialogue)
maybe he gave us the piece of the grimoire for a reason outside of belphie's mindscape escapades. what if this is how we gain lucifer's trust? if a demon as powerful as barbatos can give mc a piece of his grimoire, then he should be able to make a pact with them, seeing as they're trustworthy enough to be in cahoots with THE time demon
anyways barbatos is nightbringer and you can't tell me otherwise. unless you think it's michael. then i might hear you out...i'm stuck between thinking either of them is the titular character simply because of the simultaneous lack and abundabce of emphasis on michael's importance
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dazai-ritualist · 1 day
Text
BURNT OUT
— love comes in different forms; some are passionate, and some are quiet. and, some loves are meant to burn out
— this is so me and my ex friends core xx
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out of all the positions in hell to be, being the lover of the radio demon isn’t so bad. he’s quite the gentleman and very kind. he gives you everything you need— materialistic desires, home cooking with his own recipes, even his love.
but, his love— it doesn’t feel real. or moreso, it doesn’t feel genuine. from the people in your lives; love is supposed to be fiery, passionate, and strong. yet, alastor’s love is quiet, but undying. every touch gave you butterflies, yet there was no passion in his fingertips when he’d hold you close. he didn’t treat you differently from how he treats others, why? did he just not see you as worthy of special treatment? of his affection? as stupid as it sounds, you felt neglected and tossed aside like a little lost puppy.
still, you stayed. ‘he just doesn’t know how to show it, it’s okay.’ you always thought. and while true, it started to get harder to reason with the part of you desperate for his time, his story behind the man, his everything. you tried to reach out— hold him and let him be vulnerable, but he refused. after all, alastor is a dignified man, he wouldn’t cry in front of anyone. he has to always keep that calm demeanor of his.
in the end, you started to lash out, picking disagreements with alastor, because ‘if he’s arguing with me, he must care for me to some extent. right..?’. everyday, there’d be another small thing that you’d be angry at. and at the end of it all, everything blew up in your face when you yelled out those three words— ‘i hate you.’
you didn’t mean it, you don’t hate alastor. you just… yearn for him so much, it makes you angry. and, that in turn, makes you think you hate him. “do you now? what is it about me that you loathe so much?” alastor mused, raising an eyebrow at you.
“ugh!” you grunted, your mind running paces as you tried to think of something to say. “didn’t i tell you before, dear? i am a demon to my soul, no amount of love from you could ever change that.” he spat out, almost coldly. “well, you’re right! is that what you want to hear?!” you rolled your eyes. “you’re right, alastor! i couldn’t fix you, i shouldn’t have even fucking tried!” you glared at him, desperately hoping that he has something to say.
“are you done now?” he asked, tilting his head.
“no, i’m not done!” you stomped towards him, coldly staring him in the eye as you vented out all your frustrations. “is that all that matters to you— the fact that you’re right?! i fell in love with you, for god’s sake! you shouldn’t have said anything that would’ve gotten my hopes up if you were gonna let me down like this! i stayed because i thought you could learn to love, but again— you’re right, nothing can fix you!” you hissed out, tears starting to wet your face. “and, one day… someone will love me. and, that’ll make you regret losing me.” you sighed out, a weight falling off your chest, as if you’ve been freed from your shackles.
it was then that alastor held you against him, patting your back as he comforted you. yet still, it was as if he wasn’t there at all. it was faint and cold as his claws kept you close to him. “is that what has been troubling you, dear?” he asked. “no, it’s not just that. i’m done, alastor.” you sniffed through your tears. and from your words, he seemingly tensed. “why the sudden change of heart?” alastor asked.
you stared at him in disbelief, did he believe that after all you’ve said, this was just another quarrel? “for someone so smart and collected, you’re kind of stupid when it comes to this stuff.” you said. alastor sucked a breath through his teeth, as if holding his anger back. “i just can’t keep pretending we’ll work. it’s clear we’re not made to love each other, we both still have things from our past that we need to deal with. and, let’s face it— we can’t recover from this. we’re done.”
“i see.” alastor said, his tone uncharacteristically glum and cold despite the smile on his face. his grip on you loosened as he let you go. “you were a wonderful experience, alastor.” you sighed out. “i don’t… hate you at all, i was just angry. and even though we aren’t meant for each other, there’ll always be a part of me that loves you.”
alastor stared at you, amused by your words. “hm. well, that is just darling of you. i will still try to keep you alive, i suppose it is my job after all, ahahaha!” he laughed as you awkwardly stepped away from alastor’s touch.
and, though you yearn for each other, there’s no use in trying to ignite a flame that’s been burnt out.
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