#I usually try not to answer hate

[shopcat]

i think in the hamster wheel of my mind a big part of where people go wrong with eddie and his shitty garage band as an extension is that they for some bizarre reason think he's gene simmons metal when he's jack black metal. heavy metal. he's tenacious d metal. he's school of rock. he's stoner lord of the rings metal he nearly wore blue jeans and plaid. jack black literally in real life once said eddie was the best character bc he's heavy metal like him. LOOK AT THIS

#🍦 #answer it's bc people think he's some mishmash of all alternative scenes without any actual knowledge of where the mashing occurs 😭 #eddie is . a heavy metal guy. A cool one. a nice one even. he likes rock and roll #it's so funny when ppl try and describe it and they've never heard the stuff he actually listens to in their lives for some reason #literally so much of the appeal of eddie's character within his subculture is that its theatrical and dramatic but its still grounded #he's very alternative and Out There but he's still just some guy. he's not wearing spiked leather jackets #in fact he's not wearing any of the other kinds of leather jackets i've seen people say he would ... TO ME #sts #if u haven't seen the clip he then proceeds to air guitar the MoP melody then shouts heavy metal is everywhere #i don't even know how to explain this bc it's like ... okay #the general .. VIBE? aestheticsm? is kind of similar to what people sometimes portray but they're missing thst it's tongue in cheek #like it's like that buff poster of him being this anachronistic homage to heavy metal album covers #fire and satanic imagery and skulls and lightning and big drama and ROCK AND ROLL #it's rock and ROLL man... #and people r making him this weird sanitised dork LOL 😭 when he's a dork in a different more fun way.. imo #and it's not that those types of people don't exist and that they're not cool in their own way cuz they are sure but that's not THIS GUY #he is an 80S METALHEAD... and yeah i try and ground him in thinfs and poke and prod at it until it fits my own understanding of alternative #scenes better but that's bc i've had a hand in the punk scene for years and years #i dunno sometimes i feel like ppl r just not doing the full potential and then going way too hard in this super specific direction #and he ends up first of all usually just a massive douchebag not sure what that's about. But a guy who he would in canon HATE 😭 #YOU ARE MAKING HIM A POSER. is what i'm saying #he is alwyas some guy before he's anything else and before he's that he's a 20 year old loser #you need to reflect this... You need to bottle it. ugh. ugh #so much of this reminds me of the time someone was like he would never wear PLAID #like are you kidding me. are you actually kidding me rn #ppl have this weird arstheticised mostly modern and mostly literallt just eboy Idea of what he'd wear it's crazy to me sorry #also it's ugly #i also think. this is so long lol . anyway . i also think going too ''authentic'' in the 80s metalhead direction also lands u w different #problems. my advice to people trying to write or draw alternative characters is they are People. before they are anything else #🍏

[iraprince]

Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow

hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.

like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.

anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better

#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages. #or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it. #i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') - #- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action. #also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally) #u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not-- #--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control #as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of' #'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important' #bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem #but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine #i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and- #inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR #i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be #-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that #ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind

[thottybrucewayne]

No, real question. How you a transmed and nonbinary?

#thotty speaks #They said 'oh people don't take you tenderqueer nbs seriously cause yall won't get on hrt/get surgery to show us youre serious #Look I want to get on t. I wanna do a lot of things to make me feel more at home in my body that I'm not sure about yet #Safety wise etc and it just...as a Black person for you to not understand other Black trans people being hesitant abt jumping into surgery #or worrying about pricing and post surgery care and being under medicated etcetc #Not to mention that I shouldn't have to do these things at YOUR pace to prove that I'm trans like... #You got top surgery money? You tryin to nurse me back to health when I take days to try to heal? #I just hate this argument cause you can ask any nb who medically transitioned if people 'take them seriously' and usually the answer is #A resounding no! Most people see nbs who medically transition as 'just trans with extra prns' and 'still about clothing' #idk I just hate the idea that I have to 'earn' legitimacy by rushing into something I haven't even found a proper safety net for #I feel like if you doin all this yappin but you not going out of your way to look out for people just starting hrt or need help post op #just shut the fuck up #idk it just find it funny like you do not benefit from that transmed shit at all but do you ig

[simplydnp]

I’ve never had boba before, is it good?

anon i need to tell you that i thought this said 'ive never had boobs before, is it good?'

re: boba, i've never had it either! stereotypical white person response, for sure, but i also don't like tea in general so there's that too. i've heard good things--milk tea is supposedly very good! but i can't speak on personal experience. i do think i'd be like phil in that i would not enjoy the surprise factor of the tapioca balls.

#i'm also not a jelly person either so i wouldn't even be able to get by on the jelly cubes instead of the balls 😔 #i am a stereotypical white person who was raised in a very white family eating very plain food and as such i am a very picky eater ☹️ #ive gotten better at trying things sometimes. but it usually ends up with me hating it :(( i want to like things but i cant :(( #people with boba experience fill us in! what are we missing out on #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #answered

[not-poignant]

Hello! I read some of your reposts about importance of comments and that any can be usefull to self evaluation as author. My question - is it weird and uncomfortable if people bring too many personal problems commenting your fics? Like, do you distant yourself out from comments that bring a lot of person's drama, does it feel uplifting in the end, if comment is a lot about reader's not so happy history? Can you still feel joy from that kind of comment?Thanks for unswer if you do.Have a nice day!

Hi anon,

So, this is kind of complex. I would say the vast majority of people don't overshare at all, and when they are sharing from their lives, it's in a way that makes complete sense and is very 'contained.' I can tell they're not expecting emotional labour from me, and that they're sharing because they found a point of resonance between themselves, the story, the situation, or the character/s, or a combination of all of the above.

And like, that's a part of why I write, y'know? I want to strike up that sense of resonance in folks who relate to these characters, so when people share that it has resonated, that's like... purposeful and meaningful to me. I feel like I've made a connection. I also sometimes feel sorrowful - like when someone explains they relate to Efnisien because of abuse they've also experienced, or when someone explains that they relate to a character's chronic illness because of their own.

But I can also generally tell through tone and language that the commenter doesn't expect labour from me, they're speaking their pain into the world in a way that's like 'this is me, and here's this character, and we both share this thing in common.' In a perfect world, none of us would know what this kind of pain is like. In this world, a lot of us do, and we get to feel less alone when we read stories where we feel seen.

And that is, by and large, the general experience when readers share something personal that they resonated with in a comment.

That being said, I do also maintain very strong boundaries with people's personal matters, because I'm not someone who's 'healed and above all my own issues who is sharing what I've learned to people still going through it' I am someone who is still going through it. And often folks have no idea what kind of day I'm having or how I'm feeling when they comment, and so... on the very very rare occasion I do get a comment that feels like it's pushing for some kind of emotional labour that's beyond what I can give... I will not give that labour. I will acknowledge their comment, thank them for reading, and not...give energy I don't have to spare.

And like, honestly, 99 times out of 100, everyone is very respectful of that and even caring towards it.

I can probably count on like two hands, in ten years, the commenters who I felt had become very self-focused or what I felt was over-sharing in comments in a way that sort of...was no longer about me or the story, where they just treated the comment section as a diary instead. In those cases I tend to leave very brief acknowledgements, as a kind of 'I see this, I know this is painful, but this is not my lane, and I don't want this to be my lane.' But a more compassionate version of that.

If anything, the most personal stories, anon, come to me in Asks that are sent via Tumblr, off anonymous, so I can reply privately. These folks are usually very...aware that I might not be in the space to hear them, and are frankly the most 'if you don't have time or energy to reply please don't pressure yourself', so I feel no burden or obligation and that usually makes it easier to reply in my own time.

The ones that come to me via anon, I only reply to selectively, and that depends on a few factors. Some things are extremely personal and frankly I'm not comfortable replying because even if I did it would be to say 'I think a professional needs to handle this.' I've also - very rarely - had a few people do things that were not cool, to manipulate me into caretaking them, usually because they want the comfort feeling that one of my characters creates, and then from there thinks 'Pia made that character so they can give that to me instead.' This doesn't happen often, but it's very distinct when it does.

But that's rare! Super rare!

It might be that others read the comments of folks in fics and think 'I would never share those kinds of details about my life like that' and that's fine for them - but some folks do need to share, and want to feel seen because they felt seen during the fic, and I have no problems with that in general.

I have learned so so much about the human condition, about the fact that things that I thought literally no one would relate to are things that actually a lot of people relate to, etc. through the grace and vulnerability of the folks who comment on my fics with personal anecdotes or even just 'I've been through something like this, and I thought you showed it well / it's a painful thing to go through.'

I know a lot of authors wouldn't have much patience with that maybe? I don't know. I'm literally writing trauma recovery, mental illness and chronic illness, queerness and neurodivergence, and people going through tough times. I don't think an author ends up writing that stuff if they're generally not looking to make a connection with fellow folks who have also gone through some tough times! And even if I can't be those people's support systems, I think all of us having these ephemeral moments of effectively saying: 'Same bro' through the comments, is pretty powerful, and magical, actually.

Caveat: If a person brings personal problems into my fics with the expectation that I will then fix them, that's something I don't really do and don't enter into. That's where my boundaries are firm. Sometimes I won't even acknowledge those kinds of situations at all. If a person reads something for free and then seeks to obligate a complete stranger into being their support or therapist, there's a much bigger issue going on there that isn't my business, and I generally will maintain significant distance in those situations.

TL;DR - I don't think I'd write these stories if I didn't want to make connections with folks who have also gone through some hard times. The vast majority of people who bring up personal stuff aren't necessarily bringing me 'joy' - but I don't just look for joy in the comments, anon, I also look for connection, resonance, moments of feeling less alone, and sometimes that's not easy, but it's still very special. As for the very rare occasions where someone wants me to personally hold their hand, I step back, because a) that's not my job, and b) I don't think folks realise sometimes just how much proverbial hand-holding I need as well lol - I might sound like I have my shit together, but I do not.

#asks and answers #pia on writing #pia on fanfiction #honestly i think like #collectively my 'readers' are some of the best people in the whole fucking world #they're often insightful and deeply attuned to people's issues #they're usually dealing with some shit #they're often recovering people pleasers and/or people #trying to find value in themselves by following characters who are learning not to hate themselves #they're people who want to believe in hope amongst messy lives #while there's always exceptions #the folks i've met via my writing have been some of the best folks i've ever met in my whole life #and even if i only ever know them by their usernames #i'm grateful to have gotten to know them at all #if someone tells me they have a surgery and my fic is helping #i'm relieved and i hope they recover well #if someone tells me they've had a hard year in health #i'm sad on their behalf and hope they can find comfort #idk it's just dsalkfjdsa it's just what it is i guess

[famewolf]

im punching and punching and punching my anxiety today

#[static] #man i need a new job but im gonna try my best to stick it out for the next year and a half so that im 'vested' - #- or whatever its called for my little tiny 401k money lmao #im starting to get anxiety about work on my days off more than usual #they just changed it from 5 years to 6 years fjgkdlghd #and im nearly at 5 years #also i think im gonna try and stick it out with the full time up until October and i'm going back to 4 days a week for my sanity #and also theyve been cracking down on ppl missing work and the winter time i have to call out a couple times a month for snow #they used to be understanding about it but it sounds like they arent anymore :) #in one breath they'll be like 'yeah it's no worries we work at a grocery store who cares! we're stacking cans this isn't life or death' #but the moment you gotta leave early due to snow so you can actually make it home in one piece they get butthurt lmao #mind you I have put my car in a ditch BECAUSE of work doing this to me and i ended up missing a week + covering repairs because of it #like ... would you rather i go home 2 hours early or miss 4-6 days of work and be in debt :) #and the answer is the 2nd one for them lmao i fucking hate them

[zickmonkey]

Oh my god hey besties guess who's having an awful time like mentally

#ironically I have an email to respond to for an appointment with my mental health worker but I don't have the energy to answer #I've eaten approximately one meal and then dessert today. Nothing else. It's 11pm #And the thought of eating just the half a bag (snack sized) of chips makes me want to cry #not to mention the days long urge to take a knife and try to cut out my veins. Like a dissection but I still get to watch #Playing guitar hero last night was great for giving me something to do that didn't make me think #except for the part where every time I missed a note I hated myself more #I ignored my bestfriend for 3 days after proclaiming that everything was bad and I didn't want to be alive #and then when he asked if I was still alive and I replied we had an entirely self deprecating conversation #Ryanna was texting me this morning and I replied but the whole time I had no interest #And at one point I wanted to cry just because nothing was right and it was all too hard #Ryanna is usually my favourite person to talk to #She said she'd text me again tonight (to finish the conversation) and I'm hoping she doesn't #I hope she's too busy #So yeah besties having a hard time lmao #jamie shut the fuck up #personal blog #just vibing #rambling #vent :(

[selective-yellow]

white men be like is anyone gonna be a condescending asshole to this woman and not wait for an answer

#been listening to a podcast and the guy host loves to rile up the gal host by being sarcastic or condescending #or make jabs at her and its clearly their sense of humor with each other like theyre obviously good friends and #if he ever goes too far shes not afraid to tell him to shut the fuck up but god it makes me want to rip my teeth out #the worst part is its usually when shes being earnest and he'll still be sarcastic and make of her and its so fucking triggering #i fucking hate condescension it makes me want to start swinging #cannot tell you how many times ive asked earnest questions just to get a sarcastic answer #please stop trying to make me cry in public

[yesterdayiwrote]

Honestly, we've gone from 'should it have been a red or a vsc' discourse to people falling over themselves to defend race control by claiming it's fine because at least they put out yellows.

If you think that was enough, good for you, enjoy your next driver funeral, I'm sorry that their immediate safety might disrupt the flow of your precious race. I still don't think it was enough, and no amount of patronising additions to my post accusing me of not knowing what I'm talking about, or being over emotional, or my favourite one... 'being a new fan who got a bit of a shock' is going to change that.

A car, on the racing line, with a driver needing extraction assistance and a medical car, should be straight red on sight, no questions asked, no second thought, in order to relay the severity of the on track obstruction and I think race control handled it terribly.

#Seriously some of you have got to get out of the mindset that everyone who disagrees with you is a 'new fan' #I feel like some of you just enjoy bring contrary to make yourself appear better informed #Sure there's no one right answer to any situation that's why this has become a debate in the first place #I usually hate people getting precious about additions to their posts but some of you aren't even having a discussion #You're just being patronising and rude and I'm not in the mood for it #Funny how it's always a certain driver these days that people seem to bend over backwards to try and discredit even and situations like thi #I woke up to shitty notes and I'm pissed so needed to get that off my chest

[whirling-fangs]

[[ this was long overdue :') I did draft about 15 things that I still plan to get to, but there were ghost asks in there and it was really bugging me haha. anyways feel free to fill it up again anytime ♥ ]]

#mask off / ooc post #[[when i get nice things i usually can't word my thoughts well and answer like 1 month later #i hate myself for it but i'm trying my best i swear ;-; ]]

[talentforlying]

father grimaldi: forgive me, lord, for i have sinned. constantine: — understatement of the bloody century, that is. father grimaldi: the chapel is closed to the public! who are you? how did you get in here . . .? constantine: did you know vatican city has the highest per-capita crime rate of any nation state in the world? i'd have thought a touch of breaking and entering's pretty much par for the course around here.

so #1, an undeniable slay.

#2, how long do we think he was sitting in the confessional booth waiting for the guy to wake up from ellie's fake vision quest. like an hour? checking his light, practicing his Big Reveal Pose TM? he probably brought a book with him and just shoved it underneath the seat cushion when it was time to show off.

#3, knowing how intensely he studied & continues to study in order to teach himself magic at such an absurdly advanced level without any teachers to formally guide him? and how that level of dedication would absolutely carry over into researching a mark / making sure he had every corner of a confidence scheme nailed down pat? i like to imagine that the day before this meeting was spent with his severely under-caffeinated ass parked at a public library computer, squinting at articles for 'most important things to know about vatican city before you travel' or 'top 10 little-known facts about vatican city' and using the back of his boarding pass to take notes on what would be the best throwaway line to blow off all the usual questions with.

also, he probably woke up still in his travel clothes less than two hours before this scene and had to hustle to get suited up in time for his Dramatic Apparition. the demon blood was boiling so bad in that chapel that it was giving him a killer migraine. he didn't get breakfast so his stomach was growling the ENTIRE time. but all that meant was he had plenty of room to eat UP the runway and that's EXACTLY what the fuck he did.i'm

#( ooc. ) OUT OF CIGS. #always torn in half between 'john is a freaky little weirdo who just Knows Things and Picks Up Vibes and it usually works for him' #and 'john is the most Normal Dude in the whole london occult scene he just works w/ magic like a grad student prepping for finals week' #and you know what? the answer is always 'Both. Both is good.' #also on the one hand i'm truly obsessed with the idea of john just?? Always having a bunch of weird trivia available w/ his eidetic memory #like he read about the apostolic palace once in a book when he was with the peace convoy and his brain latched onto it forever #and it just Happens to become convenient later on and this happens VERY often and no one ever really knows how he does it #but there is a real real charm in considering that he's still Just A Guy beneath all the layers of false confidence and mysticism #still someone who had to work to get to where he is now and who will always have to work to Maintain as well #i like the mental image of him pacing around his temporary digs with index cards and drilling all the necessary details for the scam #or him and ellie getting blasted the night before and dramatically playing out their Big Final Confrontation to iron out all the beats #you just Know they were laughing til they cried workshopping shit like 'MY OLD ADVERSARY! WE MEET AGAIN!' and 'DO YOUR WORST HELLSPAWN!' #still trying to keep straight faces the day of the fake fight while drastically improvising to try and throw each other off their game #idk!!! i always enjoy the Strange and Off-Putting things about him but all of the Really Really Human stuff is also just. so so precious #we always get to see The Myth The Legend as shaped by the errors of The Man. but especially in later years actually SEEING The Man gets rar #all this to say that for every perfectly executed and properly horrifying loom out of the shadows with a glimmer of his freaky glowing eyes #there is always at LEAST half an hour or more practicing angles + expressions + mood lighting in the mirror going on behind the scenes #and that is very very special to me!!!! #( headcanons. ) I'M JUST LIKE THE BASTARDS I'VE HATED ALL ME LIFE. #( visage. ) AND I'M A BASTARD. #sched.

[greenerteacups]

hello!!! i wanted to ask if Lionheart will mirror canon so there will be 7 books, or if you’ll extend the story to eighth year and their early careers!!! also, would you be ok with sharing if Lionheart will be a HEA or nah? 😭 i love you, i love your work 💖

Ah, thank you, you're so sweet! As of right now, my plan is to cover seven books, ending with the conclusion of the Second Wizarding War (whatever that looks like). The summary sort of tells you up front: Draco Malfoy meets a girl on a train, and then he ends a war. That's it, that's the story.

#i am trying to decide how to approach the HEA question #on the one hand: I don't want to spoil the later books #on the other hand: some people don't read non-HEAs and probably would not read something knowing it's not #so it's like. I consider it mildly against etiquette not to tell someone if your story's going to be a tragedy #at the same time — I think genre makes promises by nature. fantasy usually promises not to be a tragedy #lord of the rings promises to be a story about the triumph of good over evil. but it's COMPLICATED #i think harry potter makes essentially the same promise... and it's supposed to be complicated #i guess i'll put it this way: i'm not interested in writing game of thrones here #and at the same time: just because a work is not a tragedy does not mean tragedies do not happen in it #this is a very pretentious way to answer your question. i am aware #basically: i promise not to punt draco off a cliff in chapter 3 of book seven and finish the fic with 80k words from neville's POV #i also promise to write an ending that will feel capital-R Right for people who love the story. #the ending will be written with great respect and love for the readers who have made the incredible commitment to stick around #i fucking hate shock value endings they're gross and condescending. they're outlawed here

[penddraig]

he stands,   arms at his sides,   though itching to raise them to protect the center of his body,   lest she decide that any part of him was an easy target.   he intends to vanish out of any grip she’ll try to get on him.   not once in his life has howl ever thought himself this easy to read.   he has certainly considered the consequences,   were he to somehow be caught in this web of lies he’s been weaving amongst his interactions with the witch.   maybe he had courted her mostly with the intention of sniffing around,   seeing if she could break his contract  …  but it hasn’t all been terrible !   not weeks before had he thought himself at least fond of her.   that has to count for something    that has to count !   it has to count for her the same way it counts for him,   even if it’s not exactly true now.   it’s more likely her unhappiness casts a gloom over that bright and cheery few weeks.   and that’s why,   agitated,   he’s begun pacing where he stands,   shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

@love-charmed.   ‘ let me guess,   you thought a true love’s kiss would help you.   ’ (🤭)

for now,   he must act.   he feels more vulnerable than he’s ever been.   it’s distracting.    ❝    oh  …  there are a great many things in my life that haven’t helped me at all.   i suppose i should have known a true love’s kiss wouldn’t.   i held out hope for too long.    ❞    he knows the brunt of this is his own fault.   he should have somehow known this all wouldn’t work out :   that she would see through him.   even worse,   that she would be angry with him.   he has enough good sense to know that,   anyways.

❝    besides,   i …    ❞    his voice wavers.   there are exactly three ways he can exit    literally    this conversation,   once all is said and done.   he’ll be fine.   maybe.    ❝    i can count on one hand how many bad memories there are between us.   should we never see each other again after this,   i would think you wouldn’t look back on it sourly.   and neither will i.   i was … i am genuine,   you know.   in everything i do.    ❞

.゜––   of fairytales, folklore and faekind.  /  𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐.

#love-charmed #( ;; putting him through the agony trying to use his words. ) #( ;; h vc: i usually just GHOST I HATE THIS. ) #.゜–– iii . * i shall never be able to love anyone properly . #.゜–– ic . * answered .

[theloveinc]

been the case for a while now obvs but I’m not gonna be around this next week or so especially!! I still love u all tho🥺

#just finals and stuff #my schedule is usually packed but I’ve had to time out when I’m gonna do stuff so that it actually #gets done before the deadline LMFAOOO #but after that I’m hoping I cheer up and can be on here again #and answer my asks #I always say that but I really do intend to get to the more recent ones when I have time #I’m sorry for being so wishy washy #I really hate doing announcements like #this bc it feels so formal #and it’s not like I’m not gonna be here #but I really wanna emphasize … the difference Ig #and that I’m not trying to be … idk. flaky #or whatever #dunno what’s going on with my moods really but u know #anyway I hope u can forgive me #caitie blabs

[hickoryhorneddevils]

starting to. feel like maybe my Scenarios are becoming not so helpful

#check in with myself every so often with ‘do i feel like these are maladaptive in some way’ and usually the answer is no but lately! im kind #of getting a little wary. #esp bc. i rely on them heavily to make it thru the day and man i am. spending a lot of time There and not here and while i am trying #to be more present in my life i. really struggle!! #and im kinda feeling like i should bring it up with my psych and talk about it but thats scary. and idk if i trust him w/ that frankly #god. i hate this #.txt

[synonymroll648]

Ty ty I’ve fallen back in my go to writers block Buster

for some reason that sentence is struggling to click in my brain - could you reword? like i've got two or three interpretations of what that means and idk which is correct

#sorry. the autism is autisming #ask #an-ungraceful-swan #oh! speaking of autism! i don't think i've mentioned this to anyone on here but holy SHIT i hate the texture of the grip on my wakesurfboar #everyone else is fine with it. but i get out there on the wave and i squirm there with the rope (or w/o tbh) trying to adjust my feet into #position that's comfy. it never happens. i just have to go ahead and see if i can keep my balance when carving on the wave and the answer's #usually yes. so it's just like. deal with the Bad Texture #and like. you know it's a bad texture when i have issues w/ it because i'm rarely complaining about bad sensory input #i'm usually complaining about not ENOUGH sensory input. in my own quiet ways