#I want to be able to feel like the people who follow me actually do give a little bit of a shit about my stuff | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

disneyprincemuke · 20 hours

Text

what if i told you that i've fallen? * ls2

[part one out of eight]

and what do you do when you fall in love with the person you swear is your best friend in the entire world?

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!driver

notes: u don't have to be acquainted with the original series to read and enjoy this i promise there's context here like i swear i swear i-

this is also A STANDALONE FIC OK THIS Is juST THEIR MEGA TIMELINE FIC WHERE whaT IF i entertained the idea of them ending up together xoxo <3

wc: 6.2k

(series masterlist) | (through the years)

2020

girls and guys can always be just friends for the rest of their lives. realistically, it isn’t that difficult to prove it: her friendship with oscar has always been the one remaining evidence that it is possible. and for years, her friendship with logan also told everyone that the phenomenon of ‘opposite gender friendships are impossible’ is simply a lie.

that was when she stepped out of her university campus one evening: a breeze blew her hair back, stray leaves swirling on the ground as logan leaned against the hood of his car. she felt her heart drop to her stomach when he looked up from his phone to smile at her.

suddenly her best friend didn’t seem like much of a best friend anymore. suddenly, she got giddy at the thought of sitting in the passenger side of his car; blushing when he put a hand on the back of the headrest as he reversed the car out of their parking spot. all of the things that he does have got a deeper meaning to them — is he doing that mindlessly or is she crazy to think that he could possibly feel the same?

truthfully, she has no idea where the feelings came from. up to now, she’d only ever seen logan as a best friend with whom she had several things in common. not to forget 1 of the 2 people who drove her around in their fancy cars whenever she needed them to. and not only that, one of the kids her parents let stay with them in their house during times they had to spend apart from their families back home.

“hey, feeling alright?” oscar elbows her gently.

the girl perks up slightly, turning to him with a wide smile as she blinks rapidly. “yeah, why do you ask?” she follows his gaze down to the untouched cup of mojito sitting on the table. she meets his eyes again with a sheepish laugh. “i just don’t really feel like drinking tonight.”

the sheer thought of having feelings deeper than the surface level for logan was enough to make her stomach churn.

oscar raises his eyebrow, glancing at the mojito again. “i don’t believe that.”

“i swear!” she shrieks, eyes widening as she waves oscar’s concerns away. “i’m just not feeling the club at all, actually.”

“really? but you’re usually in your element when we go clubbing,” oscar frowns, taking the mojito into his hands and starting to drink it immediately. it’s odd that she’s not out on the dance floor, creating a small dance party with random goers. “is something wrong? you can talk to me.”

she looks over her shoulder as the sight of her best friend on the dance floor with another girl greets her once more. it’s only complicated because she got him that girl the minute they stepped into the club. it’s what logan always teases her about being able to score him dates and girls even better than he could all by himself. she has this way of talking him up where girls immediately fall for him. it’s a power, even.

he praises her for that all the time.

as much as she’s convinced that this crush would never develop into something more than it is, it worries her. this one is different. she knows by heart because she’s never been kept up all night by anything before — not even her toughest days in school had gotten her this stressed.

racing, maybe, but nothing else.

and she knows she can’t talk to oscar about this. so she takes a deep breath and shakes her head again. “it’s nothing. i think i’ll just order some bar food.” she scooches out of their booth. “do you want any?”

“i’m alright, mate,” oscar grins. he waves goodbye to her, watching her disappear into the crowd. he turns to lily. “did you notice that? she was acting weird, wasn’t she? it’s not just me?”

lily nods, taking a sip from the mojito that the young girl left behind. “it is. we should try and figure that out soon before it gets bad.”

logan couldn’t tell you when he started seeing his best friend as more than just a friend. it came randomly.

the last time he remembered feeling normal about her was the night they all slept in his room the night before her first race in formula 3. someone was shivering and it sure as hell was not the guy sleeping next to him on the other bed with a blanket strewn over his shoulders tightly. when he sat up, he snorted when he saw the younger girl curled up into a ball as her teeth softly chattered.

he sighed as he got up to his feet, picking up the blankets that she’d conveniently kicked down to the ground sometime during her slumber. he would never have noticed if he hadn’t stepped on it, her stuffed animal lying on the ground, abandoned and betrayed by her after she discarded everything on the bed with her initially.

he remembers that he laughed as he lifted her arm, placing the stuffed animal under her arms. and he thought that she looked so adorable nuzzling her cheek into the plushie, falling into an even deeper sleep.

what got him was when he laid the blanket over her. she pulled the blankets around herself a little tighter, smiling in satisfaction as she felt her body start to warm up. “thanks,” she whispered before abruptly snoring again.

he felt his heart go heavy at the sight, thumping against his chest as she sighed heavily. suddenly his head starts to spin and he feels something he’s never really felt for anyone before.

and, oh, god. he needs to sit down.

he sat at the edge of her bed, scratching his head as both of his friends slept. he looked over at her and felt something tugging at his heart and he knew instantly that it was over for him and the way he looked at her.

he thought it was just a fleeting crush and something that would eventually go away. but it’s been 2 weeks and he still hasn’t been able to push away the nagging feeling in his chest. everything just leads back to the girl with the seemingly brightest smile and most hypnotising eyes.

it wasn’t long until he felt like he could burst from the way he felt. which is why he’s now sitting opposite oscar, at brunch, while they wait for her and lily to arrive from stopping by at a bakery not too far away. he’s bearing holes into oscar’s head, waiting to catch his attention, but the australian seems to be too caught up with what’s on his phone than his friend quietly breaking down across the table.

“oscar,” logan finally says, hand darting out to try and catch his attention. “mate, i need to tell you something. it’s important.”

“oh, you never really have anything serious to say.” oscar puts his phone down on the table, pressing his lips together. he folds his arms and leans on the table. “did you do something bad again? you have to tell her dad this time, i can’t keep doing that for you, mate.”

“no, no,” logan sighs, shaking his head. “i’m serious. this is serious. like, you can’t tell lily at all.”

“wha–“

“i know you tell lily everything, no shame in that. but you really cannot tell her this one.”

oscar furrows his eyebrows. “you’re kind of scaring me. how serious is this thing you’ve done?”

“insanely serious.” logan puts his palm on the table. “mate, i think i’m in love.”

out of all the girls that logan has ever been with, he’s never once said that he’s in love. or at least said it out loud. if oscar is hearing about it for the first time since they met years ago, logan must be pretty serious about this.

logan’s just never been the type to commit to anyone, more or less ever claiming that he is in love with any of the girls that he’s gone out on a date with.

oscar looks around, worried that the girls may have already arrived and overheard his friend. “you’ve never ever said that before. are you serious?” logan nods. “like for real, serious? you’re sure about this girl?”

“that’s the thing.” logan starts to play with the menu, opening and closing it as he tries to play off the severity of his feelings. “i don’t know. but it’s been bugging me for weeks now. i can’t get her out of my head.”

“it must be serious if this has been going on for weeks,” oscar scoffs with a small smile. “how long have you known her?”

logan contemplates telling oscar the truth. will oscar ever slip up and tell her about his feelings? and what will happen if it changes everything and he loses his best friends? literally, the people he knows are his ride-or-die.

“you have no idea the severity. it’s–“

“why are you hunched over whispering like a bunch of schoolgirls with gossip?” she snorts, patting logan on the shoulder as she slots herself in the empty spot next to him in the booth. “anything to tell me?”

logan shakes his head, moving in further to give her the spot. “nope, nothing.”

without anything said, oscar feels like logan’s already told him everything. typically, she’s always in the knows of anything feelings-related, or anything that has to do with a crush. and he knows logan doesn’t mind that lily knows. the arrows are only pointing at one possible person present in the room.

but it can’t be. they’re all best friends.

“ah, keeping secrets now, i see,” she hums, narrowing her eyes down into a suspicious stare.

“way to hold it against me, mate,” logan scoffs, picking up the menu from the table. he glances at oscar across the table who raises his eyebrows at him.

logan, already knowing that he’s caught on, just nods in devastation. in a way that oscar’s never seen him before and that in itself is concerning.

the feeling never stops gnawing at her when she lies awake at night in her bed. she tosses and turns for hours, biting her fingernails as she tugs on her hair in frustration.

her lock screen, a picture of the 3 of them at a track from just a couple of days ago, consumes her. she’s come to overanalyse everything: his hand placements in pictures, their text messages, the way he speaks to her, everything that he does seems to mean more than it used to. and it should not be this way at all.

he is her best friend, after all. and what would she know about crushes and love? she could have been a small percentage of the population that grew up without really having one. it’s not something she concerned herself about over the years.

of course, she allowed herself that one boyfriend when she was 16. but even now she knows that that was not love.

could this be love? surely not — not with her best friend.

not with the boy who moved into her house when she was 13 to live with them for some months of the year, then leaving to spend the holidays with his family in florida. it’s not fair that she is consumed whole by the thought of being his girl.

because when you grow up alongside people, you tend to know the worst side of them. especially when you live together.

but why is it that, as aware as she is of logan’s flaws and everything that made girls want to walk away, she still longs to have him all to herself?

she hears his voice mixed with oscar’s from the next room over. it seems that they are also kept up by something that doesn’t seem to concern her. should she join them for another sleepless night like she typically does?

but it seems to be almost crossing the line of the boundaries of late night conversations they seem to be having. she hums, dropping her phone next to her head as she rolls over to lie on her back.

she looks up at the ceiling and tries to map the past couple of years and how it’s led her here. her heart thumps in her chest as she thinks of the green eyes that have captivated her lately, breathing shakily as the urge to stare into it at this very moment grows.

but she doesn’t know that in the next room over, the older boy feels the same way about her. technically, all her tossing and turning, fears of losing him over feelings that are slowly festering in her gut, are all for nothing. because if she got up right now and just laid it all out for him, he would be okay with it. he’d welcome it with open arms.

not knowing if he feels the same is what scares her the most.

a knock on the door makes her jump, sitting up dishevelled as she turns her attention to the door. she should be asleep for her classes tomorrow — which she would have been if logan hadn’t taken up every inch of space in her mind — so if that’s a test from her parents, it’s over for her.

“it’s us.”

she scrambles out of bed, keeping her footsteps soft to avoid the notion of announcing that she’s out of bed. when she opens the door, it’s come to her surprise that they’re wearing jackets and pants. oscar holds up his car keys with a small grin. “we’re hungry.”

“i’ve got classes tomorrow,” she says in a whisper as she avoids logan’s stare that’s boring holes into her skull.

logan shrugs. “and you’re still awake,” he’s the first to walk towards the stairs and beckons his two friends to follow him, “come on, we were craving ice cream. thank god you’re awake.”

she looks down at herself, in her pyjamas and then glances over at her friends with furrowed eyebrows. “i’m not dressed to head out. could you give me like 5 minutes to change at least?”

“no time for that,” oscar frowns, “do you wanna get caught?”

“besides, i brought an extra jacket for you. your mum would flip if she sees one of your jackets was used, no?” logan stops at the top of the stairs, holding up one of his smaller jackets in the air to show it to her. “i reckon we should get a move before your parents hear you out of bed, dude.”

she takes a deep breath, her gaze softening at the jacket that’s held in the air. it’s not that cold out, so she would definitely do without a jacket. but the thought of being wrapped in a jacket that belonged to logan — with his smell and the whole shebang — almost brings her to her knees. and going to sleep with his cologne all over her? it’s enough to make a typically emotionless woman cry.

“mate, do you wanna come or not?” oscar whispers, still towering over her at her door.

she nods, slowly closing the door behind her as she tries to run silently to the stairs where logan is. “does it smell like you? cause that would be kind of gross.”

a lie: she literally wants it to smell like him. just so she can have a sliver of what it feels like to be his.

“nope. that’s clean.” logan smiles proudly, holding up the jacket with both hands, opening it wide for her to wear it. while normally it would be an issue if it smelled like logan (which is why he took a fresh jacket out of his closet), it’s all she wants right now — to go to bed smelling like him to replace the emptiness of sleeping by herself.

she slots an arm into the jacket, thanking him softly as she feels her cheeks heat up at the gesture. and this is what it’s like suddenly overthinking every interaction she has with logan. did he always used to do this or is everything amplified by the thought of her heart suddenly beating for him?

did his actions always have this romantic intonation in them and she was too stupid to notice, or has it always been this way?

she freezes as logan circles her, pulling the jacket down her shoulders before he zips it up for her. he tugs on it gently and pats her shoulder. “warm enough? i’ve got a thicker jacket if you need one.”

she shakes her head, eyes wide as she looks up at him. he doesn’t seem to notice; turning towards the stairs to make their way to the car. oscar walks past them and shakes the keys as softly as he can. “let’s go. i’m starving.”

she watches the 2 boys walk down the stairs, frozen in the ground at their interaction. she sucks in a deep breath as she tries to process everything: the way he was so close to her and how his gesture was so familiar yet so unfamiliar at the same time.

“mate, let’s go,” oscar scolds, beckoning her from the bottom of the stairs. “i’ll leave you behind if you’re not down here in the next 15 seconds.”

“okay, be patient!” she squeaks, jumping from her spot to rush towards oscar.

by the door, logan keeps a tight grip on the front door as he can barely glance at her happily jumping down the steps. the sight fills his chest with such warmth that he’s never felt before and even forces a small smile on his face that he doesn’t notice.

the gesture with the jacket took everything of his soul to do. it would be crazy for her not to notice the way his hands shook as he zipped the jacket up for her, his breaths shaking as he stood inches away from her. it’s odd because they’ve spent so many years together yet there is this sudden shyness that he cannot seem to escape.

surely she’s starting to catch on as well, right?

he doesn’t even notice that she’s passed him, muttering ‘shotgun’ as she jogs over to the front seat of the car happily. oscar pats him on the shoulder and shoots him a mean glare to snap him out of his trance.

“if you’re going to be this obvious, i’d be more shocked that she hasn’t caught on yet,” oscar mutters with caution before walking out.

logan drags his feet out of the house, slumping his shoulders when he realises that he has to sit at the back. he just shrugs before oscar opens the door to the driver’s seat. “you and i both, dude.”

“see you later, mate.” logan barely lands a pat on her shoulder before walking away, approaching frederik at the other end of the garage.

she looks at the shoulder that he didn’t even touch before her eyes follow the boy now jogging towards his friend. is she going insane or is logan avoiding her?

since they’d gone and grabbed food together 3 weeks ago, it’s been different. logan’s been speaking to her less, keeping conversations short and he barely even looks her in the eye. she can’t say there’s ever been a time that this has ever happened for this long.

she excused it for logan being busy initially, but 3 weeks is too long.

“hey, are you alright?” mick comes up behind her with a small smile and a hand on her back. “you’ve just been standing there for a good minute by yourself.”

“i’m… do you think i’m annoying?” she whispers, eyes wide as her brain goes at a rate it’s never gone before. she starts walking with mick and looks down, bracing herself for his answer.

“what? why would you say that?” he says softly, tilting his head. “did something happen? another reporter get on your nerves?”

she sighs, shaking her head. she looks over her shoulder again where logan walked off before and sighs again as she meets mick’s eyes momentarily. “no… i don’t know… i feel like oscar and logan are avoiding me.”

mick hums, looking around with eyebrows furrowed. surely she is just overthinking it, right? for as long as he’s known any of them, they’ve been inseparable. he can’t think of a time where either logan or oscar went without mentioning her once in a conversation.

it’s like their worlds revolved around her.

“i don’t know, mate,” mick slings an arm over her shoulder as they talk, “maybe just give it some time? it’s a busy weekend and you know they’re your best friends.”

she shrugs. “i guess you’re right. maybe they’re just busy.”

but she can’t just shake away the feeling of something not being right.

“i’m gonna tell her.”

“are you stupid?”

“what? no.”

“then don’t tell her.”

logan puts his hands on his hips, chewing on the inside of his cheek. he stares at oscar with a bewildered expression. “why not?”

oscar mirrors his expression. how stupid can logan be right now? “if she doesn’t reciprocate, then what are you going to do? we literally live with her. tell me what you’re going to do when you tell her you’re in love with her and she doesn’t feel the same way.”

the american throws his hands into the air. “i’m not in love with her!”

“it doesn’t feel that way lately!”

“i have a small crush on her. doesn’t mean that i’m in love with her, okay? and in my head, if i tell her and she doesn’t feel the same way, then it’ll make it easier to move on.”

“babe, i– crush on who?” lily tilts her head, walking into the room with a curious stare. “logan has a crush on somebody? i swear i had this same conversation speculating just 5 minutes ago.”

oscar turns around wide-eyed at his girlfriend. “nobody.”

logan sighs. “oh, lily’s not stupid. you know who i have a crush on.”

the brit blinks blankly at the 2 boys in the room. “no, i don’t.” she tilts her head as she threads the room cautiously. “am i supposed to kn– no way.”

logan nods. “yes way.”

“and you knew this whole time and you’ve been lying to me?” lily shrieks, smacking oscar’s shoulder. “why didn’t you just tell me?”

“so you could tell her and mess up our dynamic? no way!” oscar scoffs, scratching his head in frustration. “listen, i actually like living in her big house with her family. and i actually also like being best friends with her — she’s nice to me.”

“she’s nice to me too,” logan points out.

“that’s different — you’re actually in love with her.”

“i’m not in love with her!”

“you guys have got to start talking to her again,” lily mutters as she climbs into the backseat of oscar’s car. she inches forward and glances out at the window where the younger girl slowly walks over to them. “you’re killing her.”

logan turns around, shaking his leg as he keeps his hands on the steering wheel. “you’re asking too much of me!”

“i do talk to her!” oscar defends himself, throwing his hands into the air. “but i can’t keep a straight conversation with her without wanting to tell her that our best friend is in love with her!”

the urge to tell her gets worse every single time. she’s just blabbing on all the time oblivious to the fact that their best friend spends countless hours talking about how majestic she is.

“i’m not in love with her!” logan scolds, reaching out to smack oscar on the shoulder. he looks at lily and presses his lips together. “and i try to talk to her, okay? but it’s hard.”

and he really does, but she’s got this need for eye contact when she talks to people; it makes it all the harder not to start rambling about how she’s got him wrapped around her fingers currently. it’s just so unfair how she doesn’t know the effect that she’s got on him.

he can barely keep a conversation with her, his defences crumbling when their eyes meet, stuttering and losing his words. and for a guy like logan, feeling like this for someone is beyond his comprehension. it’s just not something he thinks he can get used to.

“well, you’ve got to keep it together! she’s been really upset lately!” lily mutters, smacking both of their shoulders.

logan sighs. “surely, it’s not that–”

the back door opens and the girl slides into her seat with a polite smile. “hi,” she greets them with a small nod. she doesn’t wait for a response before she puts her airpods in and starts to type away on her phone.

“i told you,” lily mouths to the two boys in the front seats, rolling her eyes as she sits back with her arms folded over her chest.

her jaw drops slightly, eyes watering at the conversation she was definitely not meant to overhear. she steps away from the doorframe she hid behind and slumps her shoulders. "you what?"

the two boys, engaged in a whispering conversation just seconds ago, widen their eyes as they turn their heads to the source of the shocked voice.

she had fallen asleep on her couch as they played video games on the playstation, and they had to have a private conversation about logan’s lingering stares and silent pining.

immediately, logan starts stuttering and flailing his hands around to come up with an excuse for what she could have possibly heard. "i- i mean.. like-"

"the girl you fancy is me?" she asks slowly, then turning to oscar. "and you kept this a secret from me the entire time?"

"no, just let me explain, god," logan smacks his forehead, trying to calm the girl down. "will you listen to me for a second?"

oscar presses his lips together and drops his head in disappointment. "i couldn't tell you. don't be like that."

"you guys made me feel like i was going crazy thinking you didn't wanna be friends with me anymore," she complains, stomping her foot into the ground. "i felt like i didn't even know you guys so well in the past month. i felt like you guys were pushing me away."

"what? no, please just listen to me. this is all my fault."

"i thought you guys didn't even wanna be friends with me anymore. all of that to find out that it's because you just suddenly realised i'm cute?" she bursts, giving logan a look. "seriously? you didn't notice that years ago when we first met?"

oscar lifts his head, his look of disappointment quickly replaced by confusion. logan also drops his hands, head tilting at her response.

he had a list formed of possible ways she could react if his secret ever came out. this was not one of them.

"pardon?"

"we've been friends for so long growing up. you think that i never had a crazy puppy crush on either of you?" she scowls at them, wiping the few tears that managed to escape her eyes. "get a grip, my dudes!"

"what?" logan screams. "you're telling me i've been in over my head for literally nothing because you've had a crush on me too?"

"had?"

"you've got a crush on him right now? and me before?" oscar exclaims in disbelief, pointing at logan. "and we never knew? seriously?"

she shrugs, folding her arms over her chest with a smug smile. "i'm just better at keeping secrets compared to you guys, i guess."

she turns on her heel and walks out of the kitchen. “you’ll get over it. trust me. i’m actually in the process of getting over my crush on you, lo.”

but she’s never been more wrong about anything in her life.

logan leans on his car, elbow propped on the roof of his car and chin in his palm. he taps away on his phone as he lazily enjoys the breeze of oxford while he waits.

“i thought you were going to be late?” she hums, tilting her head as she approaches him. she’s got his jacket around her shoulders and an eye squinted from the sun shining brightly above them. “i took all the time i could walking out of campus.”

he shrugs, pushing himself off the car and slips his phone into his pocket. “traffic cleared up a while back. where’s lily?”

she shrugs back at him with a soft giggle. she jogs over to him and wraps her arms around him momentarily before quickly pulling away. “thanks for picking me up, by the way.”

logan throws his head back with a snort, folding his arms over his chest. “did i have a choice?”

he knew better than to decline her wide eyes asking him to please pick him up from campus after an entire day of classes. that, and that fact that it’s just so difficult to say no to her when it came to things like this.

“very funny,” she laughs with a playful eye roll as she rounds the car to the other side. “lily has something on with another module. let’s head out to dinner, you and i?”

he grins and unlocks his car. “yep. let’s go.”

"what's wrong?" worry paints her face as he starts acting calmer than before. her eyes follow logan's hands, lifted up to her face as he tries to brush back her stray hair behind her ears. "are you alright?"

"have i ever told you," he pauses to trace a line down her cheek with his fingertips, "how pretty you are?"

"only when you're drunk," she whispers back with a playful smile. "did you ingest some kind of poison and you've only got a couple minutes to live? is that why you're like this?"

"no," he shakes his head. a small smile appears on his face, tucking a finger under his chin to lift her eyes up to meet his. "i just think you look very pretty. i don't tell you that often."

she admits she almost felt her knees buckle at his words and melt on the ground at his words. logan had never been a very outwardly affectionate type unless he's drunk, so while this is expected behaviour out of him, it's never gotten quite as intimate as this.

she's had him fall asleep with his head in her lap before on the couch, but never has he been this close to her while whispering sweet words at her.

"it would be weird."

"it shouldn't be."

"logan, are you alright?"

he doesn't respond. and she freezes in her spot when his hand drags along her skin, cupping her cheek as he leans down into her. and he would have done it. he would have kissed her but something stops him.

it could’ve been the sheer reminder that they’re supposed to be just best friends. just that, nothing more and nothing less.

he stops himself right as their noses touch and sighs shakily, holding himself up with a hand on her arm. “i’m sorry.”

she lets out a soft sigh and forces a grin on her face. she grabs his shoulders to stabilise him, “do you need to throw up?”

“i think so,” he mutters with a hand on his chest. he turns to look at her with a heaving chest and puffy lips. “can you help me back to the villa please?”

she chuckles, approaching him with her arms held out. “okay, let’s get you back, mate.”

she stands in front of the bedroom door, stuffed bear in hand with a soft huff as she awaits a response.

the door opens, revealing logan in his pyjamas and dishevelled hair. he blinks for a few moments before realising who’s standing at the door. “oh, hi.”

“i couldn’t sleep,” she sighs softly, pursing her lips and slouching slightly. “can i sleep in oscar’s bed?”

logan blinks. he tries to think of what oscar would say if he consulted the australian about what to say in response to her question.

his heart has a simple answer: yes, let her spend the night in your bedroom. but his mind, clearly going with logic, knows exactly the solution to avoid getting himself into deeper shit: maybe you shouldn’t let her because it will complicate things.

guess which answer logan chooses.

“yeah, of course.” logan takes a step back and beckons her into the room. “what’s wrong? nightmare? watched a horror movie all by yourself again and scared yourself?”

“yeah,” she grins sheepishly, climbing onto oscar’s bed.

lie. she couldn’t fall asleep at the thought of logan and her almost kissing a week ago on their trip to the bahamas. and since oscar’s not here to put a stop to their antics, she did the one thing she knows would put her to sleep, or at least to a calmer state of mind.

“oh, what did you watch?” logan giggles, closing the door behind him. “do you need me to turn the nightlight on again?”

she smiles, shaking her head. “just insidious. i got bored while i was doing my homework.”

“you should really start watching that with someone around,” logan sighs, walking over to his bed on the other side of the room. “you know how insidious gets you all jumpy and weird.”

“yeah, i barely made it to 20 minutes of the movie,” she laughs, sighing as she drops her back on the bed. she pulls the blankets up and tucks herself under them. “anyway, thanks for letting me sleep here tonight.”

“of course, dude.”

logan finds himself at her university campus once more, leaning up against the side of his car as he awaits the girl to meet up with him.

he hears heels clicking against the gravel of the university parking lot, making him raise his head in anticipation with a wide grin.

“aw, happy birthday, dude!” logan cheers, opening his arms to the girl approaching him. “how were your classes?”

she sighs heavily, rolling her eyes. “horrid.”

“you left before oscar and i could make you pancakes for breakfast,” logan frowns, squeezing her slightly as she stumbles into his body. “we’re going to take you out for pancakes instead.”

“wow, pancakes for dinner?” she giggles with a hand on her chest. “how lovely.”

“and ice cream,” logan beams with a grin. he gently reaches forward to take her laptop into his hands along with the bag on her shoulder. “because it’s your birthday–”

“where’s my gift?” she teases, hopping forward to rest her chin on his arm. she looks up at him with puffed cheeks and wide eyes. “you promised me a present this year.”

logan blinks blankly at her. he looks at the way she’s cosied up into his body and then back into her eyes. “it’s with oscar.”

she blinks, taking a step back as she realises how close she’s gotten to him. “so you got me a present? how sweet of you, logan.”

“you threatened me to get you a present,” logan scoffs with a roll of his eyes. he starts laughing along with her, shoving her things into the backseat of his car. “as i was saying, because it’s your birthday, i’m giving you 2 options: to drive my car, or to not.”

he flashes her his car keys, dangling them high enough in the air for her to not reach them.

“i’m getting spoiled this year with options,” she laughs, jumping into the air to snatch the key out of logan’s hands. “i wouldn’t turn down the chance to drive your car and send you into cardiac arrest.”

she walks around logan to run over to the driver’s side of the car. “don’t forget to wear your seatbelt.”

“i wouldn’t ever dare if you’re the one driving.”

gen taglist: @33-81 @darleneslane @namgification @localwhoore @happy-nico @nikfigueiredo

#logan sargeant x reader #f1 x reader #logan sargeant x you #f1 fem!driver #female driver #f1 female driver #formula 1 #formula 1 female driver #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke vr #vettel reincarnate

153 notes · View notes

bearlythere · 1 day

Text

will not shut up about how bluey's 30 min episode gave us so much more lore and references to the real world

the writes really made so much literal and euphemistic use of the word "sign" in this episode

in chronological order! and spoilers below!!

do let me know if I missed anything out!

FRISKY AND RAD'S WEDDING!!!! in the iconic heeler house!!

bandit's bully bucky dunstan being the real estate agent selling his house

English sheepdog buying the bluey house (emigration - would be nicer if they got english voice actors to voice them though)

the bluey house was actually for sale on an Australian real estate website! and as per the time of writing this post, it's been "withdrawn from sale" - the bluey digital marketing team AMAZES ME.

I wonder which city bandit got a new job in - don't know if they'll explore that in future seasons

bluey's friend the brown dog (I'm sorry I don't know his name) having 2 mums!

winton talking about his divorced parents and the terriers' saying their mom likes winton's dad!!!

jack and his army interest! him and rusty playing army!!

the sitting in a tree, kissing thing that kids do

Jeremy the gnome

bobo being the car's name

frisky's licence plate being fr15k

the first time kids sit in the front seat of the car

police officers pulling people on the road over LMAO

rad's profile picture being him goofing around with his 2 brothers

how realistic it is trying not to lose someone you're following on the road

the butterfly from slide!! 🦋 it has a name! flappy!

everyone being afraid of the butterfly except bingo because we know she loves insects!

chilli reminiscing how she and frisky used to go to the lookout to "think" when we all knew she meant drink LOL

frisky's 3rd friend appears!

BRANDY IS PREGNANT???

the canon in d rendition as bgm

the busker being the priest??

also they got mort and maynard to come attend the wedding too!!

frisky's father is a typical surfer dude lmao

we see trixie standing amongst the girls during the bouquet toss. and then we see stripe come in to intercept the toss. does this mean that stripe and trixie are not married yet and have just been cohabitating? stripe grabs the bouquet and celebrates, but we see trixie face palm... what does this mean??

love the photo montage and the huge family photo, how it shows that you can't get everybody to be ready for the photo

AFTERPARTY

GRANDPA BOB WENT TO INDIA TO FIND HIMSELF 😭 man needed spiritual rediscovery

the busker is the music dj too!!

uh oh... stripe and trixie are fighting... perhaps it was about the bouquet toss? and we see socks playing with the cake toppers - possibly mimicking her parents actions

awww Radley quit his job so that frisky could stay in a city she loved ❤️

they brought back the music from dance mode!

NANA AND BOB FLOSSING!!!

chattermax randomly appearing 😭

bingo getting stuck in the railing again

bingo being sad because she has to move and lila won't be able to follow. which is also the moment I realised they won't be moving in the end, because of the montage at the end of daddy drop-off episode where bingo and lila grow up together and be friends "forever and ever and ever"!

the 2 English sheepdogs pushing their fluff away from their eyes to see haha

THEM SEEING WINTON'S DAD'S HOUSE WITH A POOL WHICH IS FOR SALE BECAUSE THEYRE MOVING IN WITH THE TERRIERS AND THEIR MOTHER!! THEY ALL FIT IN ONE CAR!!!

seeing the iconic bluey house empty, with spots where furniture used to be somehow makes me feel a little empty and nostalgic

the montage of them saying goodbye to their old neighbours, bandit having one last chat with pat, the girls and chilli saying goodbye to judo and her mum

Judo still has short hair!

chilli reminiscing the kitchen because bluey took her first steps there

WHO SANG THAT SONG IN THE END PLEASE RELEASE IT LUDO STUDIOS

THE SHEEPDOGS WENT BACK ON THEIR DECISION TO BUY BLUEYS HOUSE TO BUY WINTON'S DAD HOUSE

you can tell how much chilli didn't want to move as she was the first one out of the car running over to hug him when she realised bandit didn't want to sell the house anymore. and the shoulder shakes shows that she was fully sobbing too

iconic kiwi rug! loved the simplicity of the last scene, where even if there's nothing around you, as long as you're together with the people you love, eating the simplest meal, enjoying the moment, that's family.

#bear watches #bluey #bluey cartoon #the sign

40 notes · View notes

wbswag · 8 hours

Text

To follow-up my last Hardcore Delusional take, I will be discussing the possibility that Chisaki being taken in by the Shie Hassaikai was actually planned. I’m not saying I necessarily believe this to be canon, just how I think it’d play into canon if it was. This post is long as hell, so simmer down and buckle up, if you so please.

Okay so, as was confirmed in chapter 419, Chisaki was in one of AFO’s facilities as a kid. Now the question to be begged is how he got out of said facility, when his quirk obviously holds a lot of power and potential, which makes it feel like AFO would’ve put at least some effort to keep Chisaki within his grasp.

So here’s the thought: He did. Chisaki didn’t truly escape the facility, he was just put into another one. Chisaki being taken in by the Shie Hassaikai was just to put Chisaki somewhere AFO knew about, so that his lesser project could be monitored and molded while he worked on his primary project, Tenko. Also maybe Chisaki proved a bit too rebellious/resistant? So AFO thought the best course of action would be to give him the false security of a new start so that he would be more pliable.

So, AFO got into touch with one of his contacts to take care of Chisaki in the meantime. And considering both the theory that Chisaki accidentally killed someone with his quirk when it manifested (maybe his mother) and also the likely dynamics of the facility he was in, it’d be relatively simple to introduce him to a parental/mentor figure who’d he then attach to and feel like he has to prove his worth to. Which, on top of this, said parental/mentor figure being some flavor of authority figure as well would probably deepen Chisaki’s feelings of admiration and respect towards them. And it needed to be someone who’d be able to easily blend someone new into their home without much suspicion, someone who has a life of secrecy, someone whose lifestyle would be a gradual immersion into crime, and who, behind the curtains, knows how to get people to look up to them and also subtly mold them to their desires. So basically, Pops (a Yakuza leader) was the perfect candidate.

AFO contacts Pops. They make a deal of some sort. Chisaki escaping and being taken in by the Shie Hassaikai is staged.

Now the actual process of Chisaki being in the Shie Hassaikai. Here’s where things get tricky.

They want Chisaki to feel indebted and loyal to the Shie Hassaikai and Pops so that he’ll listen to Pops and have the independent want to help the Shie Hassaikai however he can. They want to make it feel like the Shie Hassaikai are the only people that’ll accept him and care for him. That’ll make it easier for them to project their goals onto him, as they’re already pretty sure this mindset will start by itself in Chisaki’s head, and all they have to do is water it/not stunt it. Which leads into…

“I get that you’re trying to repay me for getting you off the streets, but ya always take things a little too far.”—Pops to Chisaki. One might say this is an argument against Pops negatively influencing Chisaki, but! I present: That’s simultaneously stoking the flames that it’s okay for Chisaki to feel indebted to him, BUT that it’s not okay for Chisaki to be too ambitious with it. If the Shie Hassaikai isn’t declining, there’s no motive for Chisaki to eventually agree to work under the League. Instead of harboring similar feelings of respect and indebtedness towards the LOV because they helped the Shie Hassaikai at their lowest, he’d most likely begin resenting them for “siphoning their spotlight”, or something along those lines, in the case that Pops would sign an alliance with the LOV, if that makes sense.

So yes, the idea was to get Chisaki to be devoted and hardworking, but to also keep him from doing anything too bold. The plan was that hopefully, he wouldn’t branch out too much, and when he did, Pops would simply smack his hand away.

Then Eri came into the picture. Something I think about but don’t really see anyone mention is how easily Pops remanded Eri into Chisaki’s care, despite her being dangerous in ways they didn’t yet know how to handle. Was he not at all worried Eri might accidentally kill Chisaki, too?

Anyway. Chisaki is appointed Eri’s caretaker. He’s assigned to figuring out what exactly is going on with her, and when he does, it doesn’t bode well for his begging-to-overflow ambitions that’ve been getting stamped down for years. He thinks up the quirk-destroying bullets + antidotes to make a monopoly on the market plan. He presents it to Pops.

Pops is decidedly not happy about this. That’s a plan that could completely ruin AFO’s (or so he thinks) and Chisaki is becoming way too enterprising and persistent with it. He finally decides to shut down the whole concept by using a fear tactic he knows will strike directly to Chisaki’s heart—threatening that Chisaki will have to leave the Shie Hassaikai if he considers anything like this anymore. (There’s also the idea that getting him to leave the Shie Hassaikai would make that yearning to be approved of/accepted have to get redirected somewhere else, since Chisaki currently seems the type to thirst for validation, which would turn him to the LOV/AFO more “naturally”. As a potential thought process behind Pops saying that)

This backfires,, to say the least. Pops had underestimated just how devoted (obsessed) and one-tracked (insane) Chisaki already was.

Now here’s the thing. It doesn’t seem very plausible that AFO wouldn’t have found out about Chisaki taking over the Shie Hassaikai—and he almost definitely did. Now here’s the other thing—that doesn’t necessarily mean he knew about the bullets. Especially since his inside source was taken out instantly after learning the specifics of it. Think about it: How did the initial meeting between the LOV and Overhaul go? I think if AFO knew about the bullets, he would’ve at least told Shigaraki, and Shigaraki would’ve told the LOV.

But backtracking, here’s some more quotes of Pops: “That again? You’re obsessed. Straying from humanity means the end of gangster chivalry, Chisaki. And people won’t follow such soulless heresy.” (Ironic on that last one), and another: “I can’t have you straying so far from our way of things.”

And finally, “If you don’t want to follow our way… then you should just leave.”

The language Pops uses can feel a bit strange or off sometimes, in the way that it feels a bit domineering/demeaning. Him ingraining it into Chisaki that he needs to “follow their way” could easily be written off as he just wants him to follow the Yakuza code of ethics, of course. But that’s the thing with pretty much everything Pops says. All of it could be seen as innocent, just as much as it could be seen as ulteriorly motivated. All of these could be genuine, but they could also be a means to try to keep Chisaki in place until AFO needs/wants him again. That’s the thing, ain’t it? It’s all ambiguous.

22 notes · View notes

siderealscribblings · 15 hours

Text

97 Years, 2 Months, 11 Days

“You cannot make anyone like you; you do realize that, don’t you?”

“I didn’t say I wanted people to like me,” Carole said, tongue sticking out between her teeth as she tried to tie her ascot. “I said I wanted to help.”

Despite his unique talent for being a wet blanket, Neuvillette took no pleasure in taking the wind out of the little melusine’s sails. He and his Archon were both idealistic pessimists, always yearning for things to go well and always prepared for when they inevitably didn’t. Too much enthusiasm was a warning sign, and the cheery, almost bullheaded way Carole insisted on inserting herself into the Marechaussee Phantom only added to Neuvillette’s anxiety.

“To help…and one day convince our human subjects that the melusine are trustworthy,” Neuvillette said.

“Well I guess that’d be nice too,” Carole said cheerfully. “First thing’s first; can’t go counting my melusine before they hatch.”

It was hard to tell where the line between naivete and optimism was with Furina’s new subjects; the melusine surprised Neuvillette with how readily they weathered the looks of suspicion, the sneers and jeering taunts hurled at them by the humans they served. He had borne all the scorn Fontaine had to throw at him for decades, though with considerably less grace and goodwill. Where Neuvillette became withdrawn and taciturn with humanity, the melusine only seemed to try harder to win their new countrymen’s support. Admirable, to be sure, but the Fontish were quickly learning that the melusine weren’t going to be chased off by a few hard words or thrown stones. Athena hoped this meant the Fontish were warming up to them; Neuvillette knew humanity too well to hope for that.

“First thing’s first; you will have to learn to tie a proper tie,” Neuvillette sighed, crouching down behind Carole and taking the ends of her ascot in his hands. “Here; watch me.”

Carole’s eyes followed Neuvillette’s careful knots, taking in none of it as she studied his reflection. “...do you think I’ll be able to keep up with M. Vautrin?”

“Of course,” Neuvillette said. “Our detective force needs observant agents; so much of the actual police-work has very little to do with combat, so I imagine you will keep up just fine.”

A dark thought occurred to Neuvillette as he finished affixing the miniature cravat. “...speaking of which, we’ll need to fit you with a very small firearm.”

“What for?” Carole asked. “I don’t plan on shooting anyone.”

“Well…of course not, but you have to have something to protect yourself with,” Neuvillette said.

“How does shooting someone make me safer?” Carole asked.

“If someone attacks you, you have the right to protect yourself,” Neuvillette said. “Or…rather you will; I’m confident that the bill to allow melusine some expanded privileges will pass and then-”

“I thought you said we couldn’t make people like us,” Carole asked, a glimmer of mischief twinkling in her eye.

“Whether or not people like you should have no bearing on the rights you are afforded,” Neuvillette clucked. “Even if humanity never fully accepts the melusine, you still deserve to be treated with civility. With the same liberties and protections as anyone else.”

“And how does having a gun help with all that?” Carole asked, leaning back with a sharp-toothed grin. “Besides, if I end up shooting someone, I would have to help them with the injury; seems like I could just save a step and not shoot anybody!”

“Would you really help someone who tried to kill you?” Neuvillette asked. “Why?”

Carole shrugged, examining her reflection in the mirror. “Would shooting me mean they deserve to be hurt back? That wouldn’t make me feel any better and would probably just make them angrier…besides, I don’t think even M. Vautrin would feel comfortable with an armed melusine walking the streets.”

How can anyone seriously feel threatened by these creatures? Neuvillette wondered for what must have been the thousandth time. His initial hesitation about adopting the melusine melted away as he came to spend more time with them. They reflected the best parts of humanity; clever, brave, and kinder than their human countrymen. Furina might have teased him for his sudden ‘preference’ but it was hard not to prefer a people who wanted nothing but peace and offered nothing but help.

“Well…M. Vautrin will protect you,” Neuvillette reassured her. “You needn’t worry…I’m sure this will be the first of many fruitful partnerships between our people.”

Chapter 1

#my writing #the games of divinity #neuvifuri #furilette #focalette

16 notes · View notes

gibbearish · 6 months

Text

kinda frustrating how we've spent the last few months acknowledging how a lot of well intentioned but guilt trippy social justice posts are like specifically designed to worm into ocd ppls brains and then now every single post abt palestine is "i dont care how bad your mental health is, i dont care how bad looking at all this makes you feel, if you don't read every single post you see on this topic in full you are a horrible person and directly contributing to their deaths. 'waaaah my mental health' well at least youre not being bombed, did you think about that??" and its like. i absolutely get where youre coming from but you dont get to complain that guilt tripping is bad then turn around and use it anyways because you think the cause youre using it for is worthwhile. like. everyone thinks the cause theyre using it for is worthwhile, thats why theyre using it. but its still a shit way to do it

#like when you make a tumblr post to your tumblr blog youre not guilt tripping people who disagree with you #youre guilt tripping your followers who if theyre still following you probably already agree with what youre saying #and esp on a topic with so much brutality involved like. yeah OBVIOUSLY theres people who have to look away #like. yall know a bunch of these posts and articles and videos show graphic injuries in them right?#like i physically cant watch news videos abt this bc i will spend days with my brain making me imagine #peoples deaths in graphic detail specifically because it knows that will upset me. and i would prefer not to do that #in fact me doing that helps palestinians exactly as much as finishing my brussel sprouts helps starving kids #by which i mean none. its just a cheap guilt trip to get you to do something you don't want to #which when it's brussel sprouts thats whatever but when its 'deliberately expose yourself to extremely triggering #things otherwise youre a bad person'. not so much #idk i feel like maybe its due to ppl feeling. agitated abt not being able to do anything abt it #like the government isnt listening and we're a world away so physically /all/ we can do really is sit and watch #so i can understand a) wanting to find someone to lash out at to alleviate that feeling #like if you cant stop the actual problem at the very least you can shout down the people supporting it right?#and b) seeing 'not watching' or even just 'not watching as closely as i am' as a transgression #bc well its all we can do so if youre not even doing that you must be bad #and its like. i really do get it. but the whole world is watching right now‚ like this is THE big news thing happening rn #so a few people choosing to avoid to subject will not make a single iota of difference #idk. i guess what im saying is if youre feeling the urge to yell at someone for not looking close enough #just donate some money to a support fund instead itll do a lot more

31 notes · View notes

pepprs · 5 months

Text

ok so. today i am going to

fly (and travel at all) by myself for the first time since making the emergency return home from br!ghton bc of c0vid 4 years ago (extremely distressing and scary experience). and fly by myself two weeks after a mixed bag of a conference experience / plane ride home that included a massive scary depressive spiral that i had someone there to help me through as much as they could but it wasn’t enough which was absolutely not their fault but was deeply distressing to me at the time. so im about to be in a very similar environment but this time that person won’t be physically with me and it’s going to wreck my brain in multiple directions in part bc i have not yet recovered from the depressive spiral. i am still in it. lawl <3

ride in an uber by myself for the first time. ride in an uber at all for maybe the 5th time. as a very short young woman. which i have been expressedly warned by my parents not to do. lol <3

check into a hotel by myself for the first time

walk in a big city by myself for the first time (technically slightly untrue bc wjen i was last in ch!cago 5 years ago i did power walk from the hotel to the conference venue (like a block away) on the last day bc i was pissed about a situation but that was like… a block and i saw ppl i knew walking in that area. this time i will be in the same city and know no one at least for today

give myself a self care evening at the recommendation of my therapist…. for the first time. (maybe after i take a walk which i will do specifically when it’s still light out to see what the area is like). tonight no one i know will be in ch!cago yet and i have no plans to do anything. im going to play video games and draw and sing and give myself space and time to just enjoy being by myself and see how it goes

#purrs #conference tag #chicago #im very very very scared. that i won’t be able to handle it. i have craved solitude but also don’t know if it’s something i actually want o #if it’s a product of my circumstances. i am not used to being completely alone like that like whenever ive had it there have always been #other ppl in the building that ive had to be cognizant of and that will be true of a hotel too but bc i don’t know the people i will feel #less responsible to them . like obviously im not goi ng to sing at the top of my lungs but i will feel like i can sing which ive never felt #like i can do when ive lived with roommates or at home kinda. idk. my therapist was challenging me to experiment with fear by asking myself #if im really in danger or if im just uncomfortable / about to experience something ive never done before and right now im so extremely #anxious but what i am about to do is not inherently dangerous and i need to recognize im just experiencing something new and do it scared.#like im literally terrified i can’t describe how scared i am in a way that does it justice. but i am going to be okay. and when i tell #myself that i make it so.#trina vega voice im a woman…… [about to be] in ch!cago….. who’s SCARED!#i also have no idea how to be in a big city and be safe. like what do i do if im followed or if someone tries to attack me or something.#obviously the chances of that are extremely slim but ive had it hammered into me that if i am alone in a city that’s what’s going to happen #to me bc i am such a ~weak and defenseless small young woman~ lol. but bc i believed the fear and have had very little experience in citie #i have no idea how to navigate them or to be safe which creates the problem. like it makes it true that i am weak and defenseless bc i have #been shielded from being able to learn how to be smart and strong and cognizant of my surroundings. and i am so angry about it and hope tha #i will SHATTER that sense when im there and come away from it w confidence ive never had before #like i don’t have… pepper spray or anything like that. idk if that’s a thing ppl actually carry on them or if it’s just a thing ppl say. i #genuinely have zero idea at all. and i really really hope i won’t be in a situation where i’ll wish i had some. i doubt i will be but still

17 notes · View notes

kimtaegis · 1 year

Text

finished about 80% of a comp of this run bts special but you know what. no lol

#I’m so full of rage tonight I could really feel it build up over the last few hours #triggered by this – forgive my language – stupid ass fandom #the love I have for those boys is really being tested over and over again #and I don’t know how much longer it’ll hold against the absolute stupidity of a (way too) big part of this fandom #the utter bullshit I have to read makes me want to constantly bang my head against a wall #maybe then I’d be able to nod along and still have a good time #cause boy that has been tough #from hating on every other group over harassing people who dare to say one critical thing about bts to wanting #to ‘boycott’ sk because of the enlistment news #are you actually hearing yourself?#like who do you think you are?#this superiority complex mixed with that utter hate and negativity many armys spread makes me SICK #do you think bts would be proud of you for looking down and hating on everybody #for only supoorting their country and its industry #not because you genuinely like/ enjoy it but because you follow them like cult members that tell you what to do?#for turning them into these untouchable beings that are only allowed to like each other and everyone else is below their standard #and shouldn't even dare come near them. what a lonely life you wish these men istg #suddenly you're all spokespersons for grown adults you don't know shit about #or you're playing polticians who know excatly what's going on behind the scenes cause you read a tweet about it #I genuinely wonder how these people go through their life? are you defending your actual loved ones like that too?#are you capable of not throwing a fit when someone else has a different opinion than you or criticises you. actually YOU. not some band?#how can one abandon every bit of critical thinking like that? I just don't get it #what's wrong with just being sad about them leaving for a while #WITHOUT being the most ignorant arrogant hateful assholes #never in my life have I encountered this much spite and toxicity #just...chill. just listen to their music make cute edits watch their videos but please for the love of god. just shut up for once #I could go on and on but. also no #could already kick myself for even being this affected that I had to write it down #contributing to this senseless discourse and putting my own negativity out there #I feel at least a little bit lighter now

34 notes · View notes

levil0vesyou · 6 months

Text

Having a post get popular enough to be independently reblogged by someone you follow but aren't mutuals with is. Wild

#yes it was the sex poll obvs #given the person is a minor i'm very glad they picked answer one lmao #like i do think minors in general are allowed to want and even have sex (with each other obvs) but when it's a minor i personally follow it #would just make me feel pretty weird lmao. like on a personal level ya feel? i mean when u reach an even closer level it becomes not weird #again like my dear friend ness (17yo) who afaik doesn't actually HAVE any sex but occasionally wants to and i support her hot girl summer.#but as stated this person barely knows i exist i just follow his blog (i used they earlier but this was incorrect but tumblr won't let me e #edit the tag 😔) and he's 16yo so seeing him talk about wanting and/or having sex would have been. uncomfortable. like obvs he'd be allowed #to because my personal discomfort is no indication of morality but you get it. like if my big little cousin (she's 15 now by god the years #don't stop coming) were to talk about sex and stuff to me or within earshot i would ummm. throw myself out the window? but like i'd still t #try to be supportive and if push comes to shove then yes i would give her condoms 😔 cuz like if a minor wants sex i will not be able to sto #stop them lmao but i can at least try and make it somewhat safe y'know #actually i remembered i have literally given a 15yo a condom before lmao she's prolly over 20 now but like as the adult dormmate it was alm #almost like a responsibility y'know like what do you want me to DO?? let her get pregnant?? anyway enough tangent lmao #btw all this is also why in the poll i included 'too young' but didn't specify an age cuz that's individual y'know. some people are p late #bloomers (i was one) while others choose to have consensual sex by 14 y'know. not something i like to think about but that doesn't mean it #won't happen ya feel. i mean what am i the american education system? lmao. so some ppl have interpreted being 17 as too young but there's #also folks like this who clearly consider 16 old enough and that's defo ppl's good right. and again i usually don't mind just the fact that #he in particular is someone i already knew made it uncomfy. but anyway yea back on topic it's very interesting in general when your post #gets big enough to independently make it to ur dash thru a non mutual lmao. love the hellsite honestly where else amirite #personal #mine #ok to rb ig #like the actual body of the post anyway. i'd be pretty uncomfy if said person saw my tags on this cuz y'know it's kind vagueing even if it'#not negative but anyway. anyway #*kinda

4 notes · View notes

theamazingannie · 10 days

Text

I’m a sucker for musical parallels and referencing an old song in a new song but I feel like this TTPD lead up is not just a “this is how I used to feel and now I’m using those themes to show how I feel now” and more of a “those feelings were never real and actually those love songs that were so beautiful before are actually about a bad relationship and full of red flags” cuz it’s honestly ruining my feelings on those old songs. Like Taylor’s whole thing is letting us interrupt the songs and apply them to our own lives and now it’s like even she is encouraging us to only see them through the lens of her most recent breakup and it really sucks tbh

#like when it was just fans being swifties I could ignore it and keep believing they were good love songs #but now that those Apple Music playlists came out and these songs are being sorted through different lenses #it feels like she wants us to look at those beautiful love songs differently and I hate it #taylor swift #ttpd #like I’d make jokes and talk about her personal life #and look at her songs and be like hmmm maybe that’s what she meant by this #but mostly her songs were always separate from her real life relationships #(otherwise I wouldn’t be able to love the speak now era love songs lmao)#I apply her songs to my characters #sweet nothing was the perfect song for one of my ocs who got famous and felt like he couldn’t be himself anymore #expect when he was with his bf who didn’t see him that way #and now I listen to it and I hear all those tweets saying ‘omg he didn’t love her and didn’t care about her and THATS what she was saying’#and having lover being one of the top wedding songs of the 2020s #and the ‘at every table I’ll save you a seat’ now going from ‘I want you by my side always’#to ‘I have to save it but you don’t show up cuz you’re never there for me’#and lavender haze going from ‘we don’t need to be married to be in love and I just want to be with you #and I wish people would stay out of my private life’#now being ‘I actually did want to get married and this was me just being in denial’#it SUCKS #things were much easier when I was just playing my thoughts here rather than following fan pages on Twitter #I’ve met a lot of great people and learned some fun stuff but this is exhausting #I just want to listen to my favorite artist without analyzing every line to figure out if she really meant it like that #I love her for her ability to tel stories I can relate my characters to #that’s all I really want to do with her songs #makes me want to leave the fandom and just listen alone #but also doing that before made me miss album announcements and vault puzzles and other news #idk I’ll probably stay but it just really sours the whole experience for me #and I wish it didn’t

1 note · View note

ticklykisses · 7 months

Text

i probably need a break from this blog lol. i swear i will see any negatively worded post and regardless of who it's directed at or even what the contents of the post itself are, and i will look at it, and i will think, "ah! clearly this is an attack directed at me personally because op hates me specifically and wants me to know that"

#yeah yeah mental illness i know #i'm just so fucking tired of never really being able to tell when people actually hate me and want me to fuck off #like for the love of god i will go away if you really want me to but please just tell me directly instead. please holy shit.#i can not fucking take people making these little vague posts about me thinking i'm too stupid to notice #i promise you that you can word any negative vague as ambiguously as possible and i will still become paranoid that it's actually about me #just fucking. don't DO that.#this is not a vague abt moots or even anyone who follows me or actually even any one at all #i am having a paranoid spiral rn and i am not capable of communicating my feelings in kind and polite ways

4 notes · View notes

mokutone · 2 years

Text

@pax-thuban left these tags on a post:

#well. first of all. this is so. bittersweet #like screaming and crying and throwing up on the floor etc #second of all. maybe i'm looking too much into this but. #it's interesting to see that there's blood splatters on tenzo's face /and/ his mask #if i recall correctly. the mask covers his happuri as well #the implication that tenzo lost his mask during battle. put it back on presumably /still/ in battle. continued killing #idk. just hurts #like something something anbu work forces him to feel more comfortable wearing a mask and conforming to a nameless org and set of ideals#and forgoing individuality #or like. something something maybe he feels worse that his face got 'stained' because it's basically a reminder that 'cat' and 'tenzo' #are one and the same and not two distinct entities no matter how much he wants to separate his identity and his anbu lifestyle #and the fact that the happuri is blank and doesn't have a konoha leaf on it.... he doesn't feel connected to the community even as he kills #for it... #i feel like it's kind of obvious that it's significant that the comic shows tenzo taking off his mask as he shows his weariness/depression #regarding anbu work and then how he thinks about kakashi as a jonin sensei. like representing himself as tenzo the individual rather than#'cat' a faceless tool of konoha in the shadows #i also feel like it's kind of noteworthy that the perspective(? is that what it's called for images?) zooms in on tenzo's face #first panel is mostly black and tenzo's body is off-center(?). like his face is centered but his body's not. and that leaves more room for #the black background. but the second panel fills it up with the kakashi thought bubble and tenzo's body comes into the center to fill up #the bottom half. and then the third panel makes tenzo himself fill up more space. there's less 'darkness' now #not sure how to say it other than. his sole saving grace in anbu at the moment is preserving his self and bond with kakashi ig #i also like how the black background isn't pure black. there's a tinge of red(? idk it could also be orange? but i'm taking it as red) #like one hand. maybe a reference to the whole blood thing. a reflection of how he feels surrounded by that reminder of murder instead #of just it being select patches on his skin #on the other hand (and this might be looking too deep 😔) maybe how allusion to the sharingan. how even though he left root #anbu still feels very similar to it that he feels reminded of how he was watched by danzo? #sorry for rambling. i am in an analysing mood today #but i'm also not that great at analysing visual art lmao

nooo no sorries! this is really useful and EXTREMELY flattering to receive such detailed thoughts, i feel like im back in a School Crit Circle or something, which is really fun and helpful. Critique like this rlly helps me understand what people are bringing to my art when I make it and how it's getting interpreted, which as somebody who wants to tell understandable stories via images, is useful to me beyond what words can describe!

like—there's no "right" or "wrong" when it comes to interpreting art, there is my intention, but my intention isn't necessarily what comes out (like how kishimoto somehow accidentally wrote two teenagers who he meant for us to perceive as straight, in the pains and throes of love for each other. like he wrote that, whether or not he intended to. i dont even actually ship s/n bc it doesn't have The One Ingredient for me, but its...also something thats hard to ignore about the text)

and similarly, since theres no way to objectively read a text, when you read it you're putting it in your own context, finishing the painting yourself with whatever colors you've got in your palette to use

that said! I can answer for my intentions in some of these

The blood and the mask: Practically, you're 100% right! Mask needs to be off to get at the happuri. That he's got blood on both his mask, and his happuri, means that at some point in the battle, he lost his mask and then put it on. In terms of art, I did this because the juxaposition contrast between the blood and the small amount of joy he's taking in thinking about a scarecrow, felt really important, and I didn't want to lose that with the removal of the mask. I also put the blood splatter in the same place, coming in from Tenzō's left, and splattering upward across his forehead area. Practically, this would mean that he was in the same position by a spatter of blood twice, but symbolically this implies that he is or feels like the same with or without the mask—like u talk about them being the same entity. I didn't really do that intentionally though—like I didn't think about it. I just kinda was like "yea that feels right. anyway moving on."

No leaf on the happuri: I AGREE WITH YOU ABT THE SYMBOLISM...he doesnt feel connected to konoha in a Real way until he's co-captaining, I think. He needs to be allowed to LIVE in Konoha to be a part of it... That said, if I'm not drawing Captain Yamato Post-Sunlight-Exposure I straight up forget that he had the leaf at all–I know it's supposed to be a Danzō thing, but I keep thinking it's an anbu thing. Honestly, since I agree with the symbolism, whether or not I forget or make an intentional choice not to depict it really doesn't matter I suppose

The Zoom In: Kind of the same as the last! i felt in my heart that we had to zoom in...I didn't think about it in terms of ''lessening darkness'' although now that I've read you write that I like THAT reading much more—esp since so much of yamato's themes in canon seem to be about sunlight and darkness...there's an interesting reading of darkness lessening (because he takes up more space) without light gaining any footing (he's still, as always, situated in the dark) about like, the little things that one can do to manage their depression or a dark situation, even when they still aren't able to be fully FREE of it quite yet (if ever). I think, when I was thinking abt it, I was thinking about making Tenzō seem very small and alone in the first panel, and then even after thinking about Kakashi, he's not quite so small in the panel, even though he still remains alone. This being said, the darkness reading is much stronger than the loneliness reading, even though they go hand in hand, I much prefer your interpretation.

the red in the black: This is interesting!!!! I like your interpretations a lot...in terms of materials this is only black india ink, so there's no red actually in it, but in the photo I can see what you mean—the ink I'm using is shiny because the "matte" ink is twice the price of it and I'm a cheapskate, and it inevitably creates shines of color when scanned or photographed. Obviously though, the lack of intention or the material contrast doesn't mean you're wrong—I saw the colorful patches in the image and decided it was fine enough to post anyway, they're a piece of the art as it exists digitally! Open for critique and interpretation. I like the idea that the darkness is connected to the blood very much especially, because it is for Tenzō, isn't it?

anyway, ty v much for your analysis, i was incredibly flattered to receive it, and i think you're actually super good at it, in my opinion!

#yamswers #pax-thuban #my jutsu #plz dont take offense to me explaining critique in basic terms ahghdhghds i do it mostly bc i know theres people who follow me who #will be less familiar with what critique is...and tumblr is often a less than ideal teacher for the art of art critique #I think the best thing one can do when critiquing art is to actually engage as much as they can with what they see in front of them #the ''how does this make Me feel'' part of it i think is EXTREMELY helpful—but mostly as a jumping off point #you want to use that feeling like a scent hound i think...it can lead u to the area you need to look at and it can follow the scent so well #but the feeling itself isnt going to be able to explain why you feel that way or what about the art is working or isnt working—#—which is the point of Critique #and you are extremely good at looking at specific factors in the art and both elaborating on the feeling its giving you and why #i've definitely given people critiques where I get stuck with the dog—only saying how I'm feeling but nothing more substantial #''i smell something in this area. not sure what. definitely here tho''#ive also given crit where i just do not engage at all with the feelings and crit solely on analysis—which is good for like anatomy help #but limited in terms of an overall piece #ive definitely gotten feedback on my art which is 100% wholly based on the viewers own personal history + doesnt rlly engage with the #meaning or practical elements of the art in front of them #and in that case its just kind of ''okay! cool! im flattered that you have such a strong + personal connection to this piece!''#but in terms of crit i can't do much with that bc their crit was so personal to them—not less valid + not less important...but also #not something meant for me at all #like um. um. um. the song Man on the Moon by REM is really important to me...but not for anything in the song itself. just where i heard it #and who i heard it with. it doesnt make my connection to the song less meaningful...but its not something that would b useful 2 the band #SDGJDSHGKDSJGH SORRY NOW *I'M* RAMBLING #it was just exciting to see such a thorough critique. it reminded of college back when id get to pin my art to the wall and get absolutely #blasted to smithereens by my teachers and classmates. VERY fun. i miss that energy #i wholly recommend it to anyone who would be okay getting told their art came out wrong (bc it sometimes will)#idk. anyway this is an art blog but more than that its a blog about art #so its fun to talk about the mechanics and decision making sometimes

41 notes · View notes