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#I want to see what I can learn from it and also like maybe keep an antler
moonit3 · 18 hours
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How about a Yandere! Monster Mimic, where falling in love with a human reader...
(The mimic is a shapeshifting monster that can transform into an object or anyone it has seen, of course it can revert to its true amorphous form if it wants to.)
another non-human of for my blog? yes, please.
MY NON-HUMAN HUSBAND IS PERFECT!
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➽ context warnings: male! yandere but he can shapeshift, fluffy content, gn! reader, mentioned cheating but nothing happening, also there isn’t much warning in this one.
➽ word count: 1.8k
➽ synopsis: your monster husband is the best thing to ever happen to you and there is no way you could forget him for that.
➽ yandere! mimic monster x gn! reader
➽ a/n: so you know when shows/anime have small segments inside the same episode (like saiki kusuo and the way of a househusband)? if the answer is yes, then i can tell you that i have write this since i watch them recently and got in the mood for something different compared to my past works. also, shot out to me if there is any mistaken down here!
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tv show!
a soup opera is at the tv and smash can’t take his eyes off the screen, not even hearing you calling him to eat. instead, he just keep changing his appearance every time a new actor show up at the scene.
“nash!” you called him, but falling to gain his attention when he doesn’t even bet an eye at you. “it’s time for dinner, remember?”
no answer, he keep watching the tv on his own as the show continues to show the leads going to a wedding between another characters. the humanoid creature returned to his original form when seeing the groom and the bride kissing each other at the altar, afterwards he turn to see you and it was easy to understand what he wants to learn about the scene.
“to make the marriage officially end, the groom and the bride have to kiss each other after promising to spend their lifes together.” you replied. “but something they don’t work together and split up after. it’s common to happen, just like it happened to my uncle and aunt.”
he nodded, taking your words to consideration before going back to watch the soup opera, but this time with a bowl of rice that he began devouring without hesitation. nash always acts like he hasn’t eaten in days, when in fact, he had breakfast and lunch not long ago.
decided that you won’t dry the dishes for now, you took a place next to nash on the couch, watching the tv with him in silence. without taking his many pairs of eyes of the screen, he pulls you closer by his crawl, making you rest your head at his arm.
a smile grown on your lips when he does that, not only that makes you feel safer, but also relaxes your mind. it’s a sweet reminder that nash cares about you, even though he never spoken a word to you and the fact of him being whatever he is doesn’t change how much you care about him.
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the cat
it already the third time that nash ended with his face full of cuts and bruises after another failed attempt of petting the stray cat that comes around home. you would be laughing if the whole event wasn’t sad, well at least, to his eyes.
“don’t cry, baby.” the sniff coming from the creature has become a common scene since the first time the stray cat has visited you and the cat always left after making nash’s face their newest canvas. “i’m sure that one day, the stray will become more docile and let you pet their fur. maybe even entering our house to sleep with us.”
he continues to sob regardless of yours words, but he remains still under your care when applying another band aid to his face. it’s a unique scene to have a two meter creature full of colorful band aids on his face, like he has been a victim of children’s drawing.
after you finished taking care of him, nash move away from your touch and made his way out towards outside the cabin, where he began sunbathing and stare out into the sky. to make sure he won’t get in trouble, you took a seat at the couch from the front porch, watching nash resting the sun and not giving much thought to the the wild animals that live around the cabin.
the breeze hitting your body makes you drowsy and your eyes can’t hold much longer, not after working hours and hours to fix the roof before the winter comes around. a yawn escapes your lips before you start feeling tired and your mind begging you to fall asleep after working long hours, but another side of you is forcing your mind to stay awake to spend more time with nash. and speaking of him, the monster approaches you with something in his arms.
“what it is, nash? another worm or grasshopper?” you asked, but seeing his smile reaching both of his ears confirms that it’s something even better. “show me.”
and he does. in his arms rests the stray cat that has been visiting the cabin for the past few weeks, but today it seems friendly, showing no signs of aggression towards nash as it usually does. because of that, he looks happier with the cat peacefully sleeping in his arms like a baby.
the scene itself is an adorable one, something that could easily come out from a kids’ shows and you could smile at nash for finally befriending the cat. your husband look so happy when snuggling the small animal, almost like he wasn’t crying just moments ago from being rejected from said animal.
the smile on your face grown more on your lips when you patted the stray cat, seeing the tiny animal enjoying being on nash’s laps only made you relaxed more, specially when he sat next to you to let you pat the cat even more.
“do you want to keep it?” he nodded, enthusiastic about the idea. “then, we should get a few things for the little one tomorrow when going to the town. got it?” he nodded again.
another yawn came out of your lips, making nash ware of your tiredness and he adjusted your head to be the one laying on his shoulder. even with your eyes closing, you can feel his form shape into a soft fur that makes you wonder if he knows that you love when he does that.
“im going to take a nap, wake me up in a hour or so…” and with that, you began dreaming on nash’s shoulder and he couldn’t be happier to have you by one side and the cat in the other side of his arm. the two most important things to him in the same place.
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the old lady and the store
“i know your secret, young blood.”
your eyes widen open when the old lady’s words reached your ears, it’s only seven in the morning and there is already a problem that you need to solve...did nash got in another trouble with the town people? you hope not.
“my secret?” you played like you didn’t know what she is talking about, pretending to be a fool is an easy job for you. “i think you are mistaken, lady. i am nothing, but a mere normal hunter that lives in the woods.”
she didn’t buy your words, not when a grin suddenly emerged at her thin lips, you could already guess the many words that she would say about nash and you can imagine how the townspeople will hunt down nash. however, you stood quiet in front of the balcony, pretending to be a normal hunter while the old lady just stared at you.
“don’t play the idiot, kid.” she got up from her seat, even being shorter than you, the lady knows how to make her presence known and scary. “i know that young hunters like you always have your dirty secrets inside those wooden cabin.”
you only stared at her, not saying any words as she walked closer to you to take a better look at how shaken you have gotten with her intimidation. it’s hilarious that a hunter would be a the mercy of an old widow lady like her, one that barely hits your shoulder, the others would laugh at this scene.
“tell me, young blood.” her voice is now like a thunder stomping inside your head. there is no other clients at the store, so she didn’t need to low her voice at you. “how many people are you sleeping with?”
.
..
….
“excuse me? i-i am not sleeping around!”
the old lady laughed at your reaction, not caring if her loudness would reach outside the market, everyone of the town knows better than spying at her. it’s clear to those who could hear outside that you have become her newest victim to her attention and curiosity.
“please, kid.” she patted your shoulder when returning to her seat behind the balcony, this time with the biggest smile you ever saw at her lips. “i know everything about everyone at this small place and i know that you have been *hanging out* around with different people by every week that you comes to the town to sell your goods.”
“you are mistaken, lady!” you tried to make her rethink about the subject, but you quickly realized that she won’t hear you, not when she already looks absolutely certain about your ‘affairs’.
“don’t worry, kid. i won’t tell your husband about it.” she winked, giving you an even big smile when referring about your so called ‘partner’. “after all, i was just like you during my young days. full of beauty and grace, ready to make anyone fall to my feet and trust me, i was good at it~”
her rambling gains an extra awkwardness when you remember that nash did took many humans forms when coming to the town for the past months with you. he would often take different appearances when accompanying you, sometimes he would resemble a bombshell girl from those old magazines or maybe a good looking man from those old spies movies that you often caught him watching instead of sleeping.
well, at the bright side of this situation. the old lady believes you are sleeping around, not that you share the house with someone not human…so things are going good for you, right?
“that’s nice to hear, lady.” your lips curves into an nervous smile when she hands the products and that you quickly put inside your bag, wanting to leave fast as possible. “but i got to go, you know, to meet one of my ‘contacts’.”
she stares at you, again with her classic smile that reaches both of her eyes, “don’t forget to tell me about it when you come back to shop!” and with that, you finally leave the market with your bag full of stuff for the incoming winter.
the path back home was a peaceful one, no wild animals has tried to approach you and the rain didn’t start yet, so nothing has happened during your walk. once you have arrived at the cabin, nash welcomed you with open arms and brought you to a hug and began acting so happy, like you haven’t seen him in years.
nash brings you inside the cabin to show that he didn’t mess with anything during your absence nor has the cat destroyed the interior like you would expected, the small feline is still asleep in the same place you saw before going to the town. showing that he did succeed with his goals, nash helped you organize the things you’ve brought around the house.
it’s always a nice view seeing him becoming taller than you to organize the higher shelves of the kitchen and the storage room. thanks to him, you don’t need to bring the ladder from the basement. and with his assistance, the two of you arranged the foods rapidly and efficiently, leaving time to the two of you relax for the rest of the day.
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@moonit3 writings
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hotvintagepoll · 2 days
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Propaganda
Deborah Kerr (Bonjour Tristesse, An Affair to Remember, The King and I)— For several decades she held the record for most Oscar nominations without a win (6 in total), and she was a prolific leading lady throughout the 40s and 50s. She's best known today for the romance An Affair to Remember with Cary Grant, and as the governess in The King and I. Many people have this erroneous perception of her as extremely prim, proper, and virginal, but this could not be further from the truth. When she first came to Hollywood under MGM she was typecast into boring decorative roles, but broke sexual boundaries for herself and Hollywood generally in From Here to Eternity, when she made out (horizontally!) with Burt Lancaster (on top of him!) in the famous Beach Scene. She went on to play many sexually conflicted women, a character type that would define most of her post- Eternity work. She continued to break Hays Code boundaries with Tea and Sympathy, which addresses homosexuality/homophobia head-on, and even did a topless scene in The Gypsy Moths 1969!! One of the only classic stars to do so. She deserves a more nuanced and frankly a hotter legacy than she currently has!!!
Hend Rostom (Cairo Station, Eshaat Hob)— Egyptian movie star called the "Marilyn Monroe of the East", need anyone say more
This is round 2 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Hend Rostrom:
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Deborah Kerr:
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I think she was one of my first crushes before I realised I was bi in The King and I when I watched it as a kid honestly. The kissing scene in From Here to Eternity is iconic for a reason. Actually tried to learn the accents for the characters she was playing if they weren't English which is more than pretty much anyone else was doing then. Played very restrained characters who frequently seemed to be desperate not to be so restrained. Did horror movies without venturing into hagsploitation tropes. Gave Marni Nixon the credit she deserved for her share of the singing in The King and I.
Anne Larsen is a peak late 1950s bisexual with big MILF energy. Have you seen the behind the scenes pics of her wearing a suit?? Have you????? Vote Deb as Anne Larsen.
Nominated for an Oscar six (6) times and never won, but besides her having actual talent (hot), and besides her looking Like That (very hot, also beautiful), she was always playing women who are, like, crazy repressed. Which makes it fun and easy for me to read these characters as queer. Icon!!!! You know what's hot? Playing ambiguously gay in vintage Hollywood.
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Her face and talent and body, yes, ofc, duh. But also!!! Her HANDS!!!! I may be but a simple lesbian, but she is the best hactor (hand actor) that ever lived and that's HOT! For propriety's sake I feel I must redact a large portion of my commentary on this subject. Anyway. She's hot in her most famous roles (mentioned above), and also some of her sexiest hacting is on display in An Affair to Remember (her hand on the bannister when Cary Grant kisses her off-screen??? HELLO???), Tea and Sympathy (when she's trying to persuade Tom not to go out and she keeps flexing her hands like she wants to reach out to him but can't??? ALLY BEHAVIOR! WE STAN!), and The Innocents (which opens and closes with extended shots of her hands bc director Jack Clayton was also an ally and he did that for ME). Much of her appeal also lies in the fact that she often played deeply repressed characters and you know what's hot? When those uptight characters finally unravel. It's sexy. It's cathartic. It's erotic. Plus, she's beautiful to look at in both black & white and technicolor, and the more of her films you see, the more you can't help but fall in love!
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Literally is in thee most famously sexy scene of all time (or maybe just during the hays code era which is what we're talking about HELLO), which is the beach scene with Burt Lancaster in from here to eternity. To quote a tumblr post of a screen capture of a tweet of a video of joy behar on the view: "y'know, there used to be movies where they were kissing on the beach... From Here to Eternity. They're kissing-- Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr are Kissing on the Beach and then the WAVES crash!! You know exactly what they did!"
She might have a reputation of being chaste and virginal or whatever, but we all know it's the quiet ones who are certifiable FREAKS
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astonmartingf · 3 days
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REAL LIFE RELATIONS — THE FIRST
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mick schumacher x reader x liam lawson
series summary— the world of motorsports is vast, yet it is also very limiting. like an intricate web of relationships, connections can get you everywhere, and underneath the pinnacle of motorsports are the secrets waiting to be unfolded.
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CHAPTER ONE — BABY IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD
news catches to your parents while you spend time with them during the break, and new rumors begin at the start of the season
warnings: daddy issues, reader has nervous breakdown, even more conspiracy theories
previous ★ masterlist ★ next
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“I’m surprised you found your way back home.” 
Your father’s voice is cold and distant as you enter the front door, no bother sneaking around your own house. After your late night trip to a taco truck and two orders of fries, you decided to stay over at Yuki's, a place you both shared together when you wanted to get away from your own house.
Entering the living room, you catch your father at the dining table, in his pajamas, glasses adorned on his face with his hair unkempt, a cup of black coffee on one hand and scrolling through his iPad on the other.
Old you would’ve caused a ruckus by now, shouting in the early mornings causing your father to reply in the same fashion. One thing you learned late, is that you are your father’s daughter, no matter how you may act around each other, you’re both made from the same pieces of string. There’s no denying that, not at least to you.
The best way to avert the situation is to play it cool and keep calm, walking past him making your way in the kitchen. You situate yourself on the kitchen island making your own breakfast, the same butter and honey on pumpernickel toast since you came home from college. It became a comfort food, reminding you of home, rather, your father.
“I slept at Yuki’s, I planned things with him way before the dinner and I was running late, it’s rude to be late at plans.” Your father scoffs, nodding his head slowly. Your face falls flat. You’ve seen that expression before, disappointment, doubt, suspicion. Your appetite weans off as you drop the toast back on the plate, avoiding his gaze.
“I see… Care to explain this then?”
Raising your head, eyes following the screen of your father’s iPad— a news article of you, well Mick’s but you could see yourself in the blurry pictures. You sit frozen, trying to gain composure, hiding your own nervousness to your father. There hasn’t been a close call like this, not in the last five years at least.
Your eyes wander, rereading every paragraph double-checking, triple checking if your name is mentioned. The thought leaves your mouth dry as your hands begin to shake under the table, eyes flickering through the screen. Taking slow and deep breaths, you avoid your father’s eyes. Knowing for sure he’ll have another outburst- this time it was truly your fault.
Your father cares too much about you to not let this slide, he always put your privacy above everything else, to the point where you began to think if he wasn’t proud of you, or if he didn’t want to be associated with you. 
It didn’t matter what you did, he always let you do whatever you want, as long as you're careful around the public. Your identity, a mystery to everyone, maybe it’s why you didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, maybe that’s also why you’re always with Mick or Yuki, you can be yourself around them.
Your perception of your own father confuses you sometimes, he would do all these contradictory things, like Pavlov’s dog you’d learn when to react to his affection, and when to keep distance. He’s always controlling what and what not to do, act, say, at some point you find yourself an extension of your father and not yourself.
It was whiplash, one second he’s singing you praises, the next he’s looking at you like the piece of shit under his shoes. Nonetheless, you’d learn to understand that it was all for your safety, as much as you loathe him, he’s your father.
There are things that can’t change.
“Of all the people… Mick? God YN, when will you stop acting out everytime things don’t go your way and grow up-”
“Stop it this instant.” You glance at your stepmother and step sibling as they walk into the kitchen. You stay frozen in your seat, hands trembling as tears slowly pool on the corners of your eyes. You look at her through your blurry eyes, desperate to leave, you didn’t want her to see you like this.
Especially your stepmother, but things don’t ever go your way, as much as you want to leave, your legs are stuck on your seat. Your heartbeat dampening the sound of whatever your father might be talking about, it only dawned then the gravity of your mistake. Not being with Mick, but the mistake of being seen.
You learned to live for so long away from the camera, you got used to not being seen. Sure you went on races but it was easier to control variables in the paddock. Seeing yourself on the front pages of a local newspaper-
“YN-” Standing on instinct, you face your stepmother, “if you want, you can leave.” 
Wasting no time, you burst through the door- leaving your bag, you had nothing but it didn’t matter now. You walk around avoiding the main streets to the nearest park in the area, feeling grateful how you chose to sleep at Yuki’s last night. It was still early enough, not a lot of people your age, mostly elders and their breed dogs walking around the park.
You don’t know how long you spent adorning the lake, it could’ve been minutes or hours— not that it mattered, you’re enjoying the solitary time. From the corner of your eye, you catch a familiar figure, a blondie panting as he points in your direction. “You’re hard to find you know.”
Watching him sit down beside you, he pants catching his breath before situating his head on your lap, lying down on the grass. “I know what you’re thinking… but you need to wait until I catch my breath… I’m— I'm not letting you leave this time.”
Instinctively, you move your hands at the stray hairs sticking on Mick’s face. Wiping the sweat off his face using the sleeves of your sweater, observing his face, the sweat dripping off his forehead as he catches himself in labored breaths, eyes closed. Smiling to yourself, you relax in his presence, leaning back on the heel of your palms copying his actions.
Closing your eyes, you feel the cold air rushing through your face, the warm sunlight peeking through the branches of the tree, shining light on both you and Mick. Your breaths, slow and steady, taking in every moment, when you open them, you watch Mick’s intently gaze upon you.
“How’d you find me?”
Mick smiles before showing you his phone, a message from your stepmother saying you left. You roll your eyes hiding the laughter growing in your smile. “Of course she told you…”
“Who else if not me?” Mick shrugged, clearly not caring if your stepmother called him early in the morning, or late at night. 
“If it’s you, of course I’ll come. I’m always one call away YN, for you especially.”
His statement earned a scrunch from your nose, cringing at his cheesy lines, “Even while you’re racing?”
This time it was him who grimaced at your statement, “Okay don’t play smart with me, if I could answer my phone during races, why not. But you know what I mean YN.”
You sit still in silence at his answer, playful or not, you knew Mick was sincere with his words, there are few people who you trust with all your life— Mick was one of them.
Which made it even scarier to you as you continue playing around with fire like this. Moments like these are a wake-up call to the burning fire already spreading out in your mind. Moments like these which make you think if you'd been a normal person, maybe your chances with Mick might be better.
Unlucky are you.
Pushing blondie away from your lap, you stretch your legs ready to leave. The blonde senses this and follows through your actions, timing his movements with yours, making sure he’s steps behind you leaving you space. It only frustrated you more, knowing how observant he is—
He who knows your quirks and the little things you do, your mannerisms, what you like and don’t like, he’s constantly there, showing up. Slowly picking up the mess you leave every single time you fuss or mess up, always the first one you call and talk to, always the one you look forward to seeing.
He’s always there.
And it hurts more knowing that one day, he might get up and leave— off with someone better, someone normal. Someone who isn’t you. And you’ll be left alone, still used to him, still looking forward to him, still you’ll be waiting for him.
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“How does it feel to have offers left and right?” You bump your shoulders against Yuki as you walk around the Bahrain International Circuit with him. Your friend scoffs, looking back at you, “You mean to ask that to yourself?”
You press your lip into a thin line, hiding the smile growing from your lips slowly feeling bashful at his words. “My offers are yours Yuki, you know I won’t leave without you. I’ve been training to be your race strategist since forever, I think I’d rather be with you.”
“I heard from Helmut they’re interested in taking in a new race strategist for a second driver.” Your eyes widen slowly walking closer to Yuki, head glued beside him.
“A second driver for Tauri? Are they replacing you?” You shake his arm, whispering right by his ear.
Yuki scoffs, pushing your head to the side, “It’s for Red Bull, apparently they’re looking for a second driver for the next season.”
Raising your brows, you pull Yuki to the side of the track letting other members of the team walk first. Looking left and right, you check for other staff in the track doing their own session. Once the coast is clear you bring Yuki closer to you, “Where’d you get that? The season has yet to start, why are they looking for a second driver?”
Yuki shrugs his shoulders, “I have no idea, Helmut was asking about you since Newey wants to talk to you about something, I haven’t got a clue.”
You both continue walking, but your head is still stuck on the conversation earlier. How could Yuki know about that? You knew Helmut’s preference towards Yuki, he sang him with praises, which automatically puts Helmut in your good books. But is their relationship even that close to sharing information?
Apparently it is, but you can’t stop thinking about it, especially since Newey and Helmut asked for you— Yuki’s race strategist. Why would they want to talk to you? Unless…
“YUKI! Oh my gosh! Why didn’t you tell me sooner!” You pinch his arms, jumping in the middle of the track leaving the Japanese confused with your sudden outburst.
“You’re getting the Red Bull seat aren’t you?” You exclaim in full confidence, albeit a little loud for your own preference, it seems like no one noticed your scandalous statement as everyone continued walking along the track.
This time it was Yuki’s turn to burst out laughing, “Where are you getting those ideas from, like you said it’s the beginning of the season. I thought I heard crazy shit, but here you are spouting crazy nonsense.”
You deadpan, slapping Yuki’s arm— “Think about it, why would they ask to talk to me? A race strategist? Obviously this is about you. Yuki, I swear you’re getting this seat.”
Yuki nods along, not fully convinced, “Okay, let’s say they’ll be talking to you but they may just poach you away from me, so let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”
The more you think about it, the more you feel upset about it. “I don’t want to be separated from you. I’d rather stay in Tauri than move up.”
Yuki raises his brows, patting your shoulders, “As much as I admire what you’re planning for us, it’s not as bad as you think. We still have a whole season in front of us, let’s leave those thoughts for later and focus on what we have now.”
Gasping, you throw a hand in front of your mouth, fake crying, “When did you get so mature Yuki? I can’t believe we’re already acting like serious adults, thinking about our career perspectives.”
Earning a groan from Yuki as he shakes his head in disbelief, “Like I said, forget what I said and let’s focus on the upcoming season. Also, don’t you dare tell anyone about it, and expect a call sometime now. I haven’t told anyone as well.”
“Not even Pierre?”
Yuki shakes his head left and right, leaving you flabbergasted, “This is serious, serious isn’t it? Why would you tell me something like that? Who am I going to talk to about it?”
“No one. Not even…” Yuki raises his eyebrows hinting on the person he’s implying.
Another gasp escapes your lips, “HECK NO! Especially not blondie, if he knew, then he’s contractually allowed to tell you know who…” you trail as your thoughts eat you alive.
Yuki twists your body, making you face him as he grabs both your arms, “Which is why I beg of you, don’t tell anyone. I know we already talk way too much, but you can only talk to me about it okay? And maybe Liam…”
Your face morphs into a blank expression, eyes dilating at Yuki’s deliberation, “I happen to tell him… but that’s aside the matter. Do not tell any other driver, promise me.”
You gulp at the seriousness, usually these rumors fly around the paddock all-season round but I guess this was something that will actually come to fruition in the upcoming future since they’re keeping it hush hush. You nod your head, afraid to speak anything out into existence.
What’s not adding up is how Yuki knew, at first you thought it was Gasly who told Yuki who told you. But this— this was from Helmut directly to Yuki and then to you.
How you got involved into all this is shocking, even to you. By now Yuki is probably regretting telling you, but you admire his honesty in telling you beforehand rather than getting blindsided by Helmut and Newey calling you to the main office. Suppose you knew about both teams picking drivers from the same pool, but staff?
It’s all too coincidental that they asked for you, even as Yuki’s race engineer they could’ve just gotten someone in Red Bull to replace you, if it’s Yuki they want. Especially with your personal circumstances, a secret daughter of an F1 Team Principal, people in the smaller circles of the grid knew who your father is.
You don’t want to jeopardize what you built for yourself all these years. But like what Yuki said, it’ll be another problem in the future. Maybe then you’d have the answers to your questions. Especially when you know how he isn’t your true father.
For now it’ll be better to keep your head down on the low, and focus on Yuki— because at the end of the day, it’ll be just you two. Just then your phone pings, receiving a message from a person you haven’t heard in a long time.
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amgf ★ superstars @woozarts @minkyungseokie @iienstein @eugene-emt-roe @laura-naruto-fan1998
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jordifaedia · 2 days
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oh yeah, pluma operation record analysis time. let's go.
content warnings: spoilers for la pluma's oprec; general lore about pluma, dossoles holiday. this will be divided into two sections, because read the header for this post, also pluma is referred to as 'pluma' instead of 'la pluma' or 'rafaela' throughout this post if you even care.
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I. the la pluma analysis
there are multiple things you learn about la pluma in her operation record; she's a daughter of many (not blood related), she dislikes trouble, and she and pancho have a more seemingly closer bond than pancho does with tequila.
the general summary of the operation record is that la pluma is at dossoles, there's a couple people who want to break her dad out of jail, and she has to try and stop that before candela's guards well.. you know, kill them or try to imprison them.
"why can't she just let them go break her father out of jail?" while la pluma is extremely close to her father, and i personally think that even if she loves him deeply and wishes he was probably by her side.. that doesn't mean she wants him to be broken out of prison! listen, you can love your family members as much as you want but when you know they're in trouble for something. you know they have to pay the consequences for it. also, a free dad at the cost of dead true bolivarian soldiers? yeah no, not worth it (in pluma's eyes, in which it's pretty implied that the bolivarian soldiers are close to her. see photos below)
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right, so what makes la pluma's operation record different from, i don't know, everything else about her?
in her operation record you learn that this takes place a little after, or shortly after (like hours, maybe) tequila's own oprec. so there's a timeframe for you.
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in order to understand tequila, you have to understand one thing. do. not. seperate. the. dossoles. siblings. like, not even in a "they're a duo so cute!" way, no like there's a crap ton of lore about tequila in la pluma's oprec and his family, and there's lore in tequila's file about la pluma. in order to understand one character, you have to go to the other. that's how deeply connected they are. even if you want to like one character solely out of the duo, you're going to have to go to the other persons file and find information about them that you can't find through their sole file/oprec. because yes, that's how much they care about each other.
you learn that the flower that was pinned on pancho's wife's chest was a lilac, which i already talked about it's significance in another post. you also find out small quirks about pluma, like that she can still make some pretty damn good food, and that she's just genuinely kind-hearted despite you know.. being apart of the salas family.. having to kill others. all that jazz.
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pluma manages to show kindness towards everyone in the oprec, despite the fact that yes, they're trying to break her papa out of prision. and she doesn't want that to happen obviously, yet it's clear that she still.. cares for everyone that's trying to go through the stupid plan. she doesn't want them to get hurt, she doesn't want them to come home dead. we don't know if tio, or the other soldier have a family back at home (though, i wouldn't be surprised if they do) and for them to give up their lives for said family would be heart wrenching.
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pluma, despite being considered 'aloof' by most, is smart. she knows that if they go ahead with this plan, they'll end up just making pancho pay the price even more. candela is keeping a close eye on pluma anyways, since she kept talking to the true bolivarian soldiers, which had already settled as a red flag in her eyes. pluma knows that candela doesn't really trust her after the events of dossoles holiday. you know, where candela basically found out pancho including his children plotted to blow up a fucking city behind her back, and they could of gotten away with it almost. sort of. not really.
i'm not the best at explaining things, so i have to bring up a major point to follow smaller points. so here, i'll go with a big point. it is a massive misconception that pluma is "air-headed" like, only filled of pure air. and that is solely because of poor writing in dossoles holiday, as well as the fact in her voicelines.. it's just unironically doctorbait for those who go goo goo ga ga heart eyes at her. which yeah, i don't mind that. pretty women deserve to be loved, but people don't really understand her character beyond that point. luckily, pluma's oprec helps clear up some of these misconceptions. and provides a bigger view on pluma as a whole instead.
you learn about the things i've already told you, she's the emotional bandage between the rip that was left by mrs. salas's death, she's a daughter, a sister, and a good caretaker at that too. she genuinely cares for those around her, and does not like the idea of resorting to criminal acts (most likely because of dossoles holiday, and the bad association with them.) and oh boy, does she make this clear to the reader.
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pluma has a strong connection to her family, after all this entire oprec is mostly centered around her family if you haven't noticed. she wants to be involved in family affairs, she wants to be understood. however, most of the time people undermine her consistently and just assume "she's a little girl", and that "she doesn't know what she's doing" basically, even though.. like i said before, that's not true. she's smart, she knows what she's doing. and there's always a reason why she does the things she does. this is one of her major conflicts as a character, is the fact that everyone wants to continue thinking of pluma as some sweet innocent angel who got dragged into war, when she isn't.
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innocent? no. angelic? far from it, she assisted helping tequila and pancho attempt to blow up a city. sweet? yeah, that's pretty true. even so, she was a child soldier. of course she was innocent back then, what do you expect children to be like? but even so, she went into dossoles holiday with a clear mind, knowing what to do. she wanted to help her papa, and her brother, and help the true bolivarians with their victory. there is no "she's the damsel in distress", because she never was in distress in the first place. in her files, she literally says she wanted to be apart of the plan because she kept getting pissed off that she was being left out practically.
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in the best words possible, she is a hard shell to break. she doesn't give up, and when she knows what's best for her, she will keep pushing through until she reaches her goal. most people are under the impression that la pluma doesn't have a single clue on what's she's doing, and that she's just some airheaded little sister (which feeds into the mischaracterization of pluma that is already rapid across the fandom.) she's not, hope this helps!
also to note, candela also knows that pluma is not some "sweet behaved" girl that her brother (tequila) seemingly told her, which should say enough by itself.
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but even despite the fact she's aware of the consequences of helping her brother, for continuing to affiliate with the true bolivarians past dossoles holiday, and just.. i don't know, existing? she's still a girl.
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la pluma's operation record provides answers to unanswered questions, (ex. what flower is pinned on mrs. salas' chest, what is pluma's relationship with her father, what happened after pancho went to jail, etc) but it also still manages to not be purely about pluma's family. because as much as she's associated with them, and they're a pretty big portion of her character.. she's still her own being.
la pluma has emotions. she gets sad, mad, happy, all of the above or some other feeling i didn't list. she's still human despite the fact people see her as a hardworking woman on the battlefield, protecting herself and her brother. or whether people still think she's some aloof cute scythegirl, she's much more under the surface.
when she defeats pancho's soldiers, it is obviously stated in the above image that she was crying. sobbing? no, just a couple tears. it's clear to the reader that pluma had no intentions of wanting to hurt tio, or people she considered close to her. in fact, it seems like that thought entirely probably was a thought she never wanted to conclude to.
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she could of let them attempt to save pancho from jail, possibly get injured or even worse die, but she doesn't. she wants to keep them alive, and hope they eventually change their ways (obviously this doesn't happen, as they try to keep going with the plan yet fail miserably due to pluma probably hurting them herself.) pluma knows the only way despite her internal feelings is to either:
as you can tell, she picked option b. while we don't know what exactly caused her to cry, we can assume one thing. it was most likely because she felt bad for hurting them, or just doing a 'bad' act (not the best wording, trust me on this one)
a) try to resolve this through conversation (doesn't work)
b) step in yourself and even if it hurts them, stop them (works)
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she doesn't want to be, i suppose, 'the bad guy'. but when push comes to shove, she has to do whats right. even if it contains hurting those around her. however, it's not like that'll have no consequences on herself.
between the dossoles siblings, you can safely say pluma can be considered the more emotional one out of the two. while tequila does in fact have his own emotional moments, he masks it all under this "happy-go-lucky" mask, compared to pluma who doesn't really repress what she's feeling. she is more empathetic, at least.
under tequila's mask is a more hardened, blunt soul compared to pluma, who i'd like to say is like slime. she's solid, unlike water, yet she can still be meshed around. just like her emotions, she can be tough while maintaining her true feelings about situations. sometimes, those feelings will arise.
i wouldn't say pluma hates violence in its entirety because that would be wrong. what she hates is people being a threat to her family, or hurting those close to her.
"but she hurt tio, as well as another soldier." when people you love are doing stupid shit and are too far deep in for conversation, and trying to get them out of said shit peacefully doesn't work, it's okay to be a little mean. it's okay to raise your sword. sometimes, you need to be a little harsh on an individual so they can get it through their head.
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as nearing the finality of the oprec, the themes of family grow louder and louder. it becomes clear to the viewer that the assumption people have from a skim in pluma's files begins to become.. something else. she's confident, and knows what she's doing. and you get to see her care for her family even more than she already has during the final scene of her oprec, in which she purchases lilacs for her family, the same flowers that were associated with tequila's mother's death.
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III. final thoughts/conclusion (misc thoughts)
a must-read, pluma's oprec is a read you have to read in order to understand both tequila a little more, but especially pluma on. the amount of screentime she got in dossoles holiday was humiliating, and did her so dirty that people can't even seem to understand her correctly. luckily, pluma's oprec attempts to amend those poor writing tatics used in dossoles holiday, and make it much clearer that she has a bigger impact on tequila and his father than expected.
they're not going to rewrite dossoles holiday and release it as a 'rerun of a rerun' as much as i want that medal set, and better characterization of pluma, plus many more factors. so, you have to make do with what you have.
pluma in general, is a lovely character. her design is unique, and isn't too complex that it becomes an eyesore. the color pallete choice is wonderful, pleasing on my eyes, and her personality itself is very adorable. and i really like how family-associated she is. i really do wish more people liked her, and i know most of the time people are quick to brush her under as 'fanservice for the doctor' or 'tequila's little sister', but she's seriously interesting.
so yeah. go read her oprec.
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gigigle · 2 days
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I really hate how ursa is done in the comics idk
Like I'm done with the arranged marriage and her and ikem but I hate the other stuff.
1. Her and azula
I kinda wish they made her and azulas relationship more complex and nuanced instead of it being that ursa loved her all along and never favored zuko
Because I just think that's a little lazy. I feel like if ursa had favored zuko it would've made sense like if we keep the ikem part of all of it then I think it would be interesting that ursa favored zuko because he reminded her of her past and ikem. Also that with zuko she could at least pretend he wasn't ozais.
But with azula she couldn't pretend at all. And then coupled that with the fact that azula had a spark in her eyes that zuko didn't and she saw how ozai reacted to that and how he treated zuko that she would feel like she would need to protect him even more. I think it would be an interesting thing if zuko reminded her of her old life while azula reminded her of her present life.
And that would cause a rift between them. And then we would have azula acting out for her mothers attention and acting more and more similar to ozai which would just further increase the rift. Because ursa would struggle to separate her daughter from her abuser like she can with zuko. Especially since azula would also spend most of her time learning from ozai and listening to him.
Im also not saying she would a horrible mother either. Because I think even with this scenario that she is still nuanced because she got forced into a situation she would have never chosen and is just trying to get through it day by day. I think it would be that like ursa, azula was just a casualty of azulon and especially of ozai. Because had ozai not been there I think she would have been a much better mother.
Like idk I just feel like with how the comics wrote ursa and ozais relationship this would make even more sense than her being just a slightly flawed mother but she was trying her best. Idk I'm not very articulate.
2. The forgetting thing
It sucks. I hate it so much actually. It's just so bad, like I feel like the writer couldn't think of anyway to make it make sense that ursa would never go back to her kids but tbh I can think of some ways.
Like ursa is definitely terrified of ozai and he knows where she went and she would still go back to her hometown.
So maybe ozai knows this and every now and then he sends soldiers around there to just do a bit of patrol maybe even have them raid her parents house as a way of telling ursa that if she does something her parents and ikem are gonna be the price. Which I think would work.
Also I think with azula and zuko that she just kept telling herself that zuko had Iroh and that azula was ozais favorite. She probably just repeated those constantly like how zuko does with azula always lies. And soon after like a year she believed it.
Also I think she wouldn't get any information on them because ozai would make it harder and like we see in canon not that many know of or recognize azula and zuko. Like in the beach episode kids who seem to have noble parents don't even know about them so I think it would make a lot of sense that the royal family is way way way more private esp during ozais reign. Because yk ozai killed his father,stole his brothers birthright, and In ozais opinion had a failure of a first born. And maybe ursa was also too terrified of what shed find out or just to leave hir'a/her hometown.
Also part of me thinks it was lazy writing so that they wouldn't have to have ursa have difficult conversations about why she never went looking for them or just a conversation with azula because we never actually get a real ursa and azula convo.
3. Kiyi
I hate her. Like she just feels like such a a replacement and lazy writing. Like they wanted zuko to have a healthy brother sister dynamic with someone and they didn't know how,didn't think of, or just didn't want to write that with pre established characters, they decided to make a character that was everything azula wasn't and was the perfect little sister and daughter.
Like I think she could be fun but I also think she was just so that zuko could have that dynamic without having to put in the work of writing azula a semi redemption arc or smth.
But also I think maybe they could've given zuko that brother sister dynamic with katara or toph. Like we see zuko jealous of sokka and katara and maybe we get stuff we're zuko and katara will act like sibling or like the relationship he always wanted with azula but then gets reminded that he can't have that.
Also It feels like a way to also give ursa the perfect daughter but I do think rewritten she could work. I think she's a fun concept.
End
Tbh I just wanted to rant because I feel like so much was done that was just kinda boring and lazy.
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BBC Merlin Prompt:
ok; so we know next to nothing about Dragonlords in canon, because there's literally 2 of them in canon, Balinor and Merlin, so the whole inheritance thing isn't really fleshed out. Can only sons inherit. if a Dragonlord has multiple children does only the oldest inherit. I only the oldest inherits do the others have Magic and so on. For this idea I took the option of all the children have varying degrees of Magic, but only the oldest would inherit the actual commanding a Dragon.
Anyway back to the actual idea:
VERSION 1#
Balinor wasn't an only child. He had a younger brother. A younger brother who by the time of the Purge was already married and had a son. He like all the other folks gets arrested and burned at the stake. His wife then immediately remarries to protect her son from being drowned and is like "my child, son of a sorcerer? oh no sir" and lies about having stepped out on her husband. So at the end not even her son knows who his real father is.
This child also doesn't know he has magic, because like Morgana he repressed it. Being marginally less powerful than either Merlin or Morgana he never notices. He joins the knights and one day he unknowingly meets his younger cousin. No one sees the resemlancy, because unlike the rest of his family he inhereted his mothers blond hair.
Now you may be wondering who this son is. It's Leon. And one day After s2e13 The Last Dragonlord, but Balinor survived and is hiding at his families old Keep. So anyway Leons mom meets Merlin and is like "Balinor?" cause Merlin looks a lot like Balinor did as a teenager. And that's how Leon learns he has magic and a stupidly powerful cousin. And later meets his grumpy uncle and together they might manage to teach Merlin some swordfighting.
and at some point there's the typical magic/dragonlord reveal.
VERSION 2#
In my second version the younger brother survives the Purge and flees to Cearleon where he changes his name etc. and joins the knights there maybe falls in love again and has a second son. He later dies in the Kings service. Leaving his second wife and son penniless.
Because of magic and destiny and what not. The second son also meets Merlin later in his life. He like Leon is part of the Knights of the Round Table. And Leon is like wtf THAT'S?! my little brother?
So now Balinor has his cryptid, magic god son, his noble knight nephew and his not so noble tavern-loving nephew, aka Gwaine.
if anyone wants to write this feel free.
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found--family · 11 days
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am i the only one who sensed some jilted lover vibes from jensen? 
#burcon#cockles#thoughts#at the start of the panel and through a few particular interactions he seemed very standoffish#he was giving a little bitter and hurt and perhaps even resentful - maybe he only learned of misha's gf#at this con too! maybe it was news to him. on top of not seeing misha for months i can understand#if he was feeling a bit neglected and out of the loop. there's also the matter of misha's gf not being#in a poly thing with jensen and dee like vicki was ie. what she has with misha is seperate so i'm sure#that's another difficult thing to deal with knowing their time together is strictly separate#i've no doubt he wants misha to have a partner and be happy but there's an adjustment period#letting new people into your life and whoever misha's partner is now or in the future is going to#affect jensen on a personal level and moreover his relationship with misha. it's all very intriguing#and while i like what little i've seen and heard about this woman for misha i just think no matter who#she is it's going to take a toll on jensen's relationship w misha. i thought it was plain to see on jensen's face#during their panel: numerous moments where he was giving a poker face that wasn't covering a laugh#but instead like he was trying to smooth out his bitterness. or so my eyes and brain and heart tell me.#just various moments where things looked uncomfortable and jensen making off-colour jokes that didn't land#and which furthermore were barbed and snarky - not in their usual banter way but like he was lashing out#and using the excuse of chaotic panel convo to explain away his comedic pitfalls. but again maybe i'm#looking to much into it? idk. there are some lovely moments! fun and caring moments - but they#mainly came from misha's direction ngl. it seemed like misha was trying hard to keep the peace#while jensen was just running his mouth on comments and jokes that kept not landing - for me#everyone on my dash is loving their dynamic this panel - and i want to feel that love! it is possible that#learning misha has a gf has skewed my perception a little like i'm putting context onto moments#i otherwise wouldn't. but i also think i would've laughed and generally felt better watching their panel#if that was the case. idk. whatever the reason i do think something was OFF between them on stage#and it was coming from jensen from the start. misha picked up on it partway though but things felt#a little strained throughout. like jensen wasn't looking at misha as much as usual or reaching out for him#misha tried to salvage and not react to things. but both their answers to the last Q were passive aggressive af#and when they left the stage together they weren't close or touching or chatting like they usually are...
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imminent-danger-came · 8 months
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Sorry if you‘ve been asked this before, but since we know you‘re fav lmk characters, I was wondering what you‘re favorite duos and trios were?
And/or however many characters you wanna group together. Just in general, the character dynamics you find neat!
(My guess is that MK and Mei are somewhere on the top of the list- if not THE top)
One of my favorite things about lmk (of which there are many lol), is that you could throw two darts, and whatever two characters the darts land on are bound to have an interesting dynamic.
One of my favorite episodes is the Sandy and Huntsman episode (2x08), Tang and Macaque also have an intriguing conflict in 3x08, and Pigsy and Chang'e (3x07) have such a heartfelt shared passion that you can't help but enjoy their on screen time together.
I'm someone who wants a sort of Ne Zha and Yellowtusk "we reluctantly work together" arc, where even though Yellowtusk may have helped nearly bring the world to it's destruction, he ultimately helped save it, and he also happens to know a thing or too about keeping the Jade Emperor's power contained. I think it'd really fit in with lmk's "past mistakes vs making the right choices now" theme—in all honesty Yellowtusk has already paid his time with an eternity spent in the scroll—and now he can truly help make a better world. I think it'd be a neat way to keep him involved in the story, give Ne Zha someone to bounce off of (they both view power as sacred and a huge responsibility, unlike Wukong for example who is much more flippant with power), and would give some juicy drama ("You would betray your brothers?") between Peng and Yellowtusk later down the line.
Though anon you're 100% right, MK and Mei are at the top of my favorite dynamic list lol (They're whole motivation is to protect each other out of 100% platonic love. Obsessed with them). I'm also really partial for the MK, Mei, and Sandy trio that pops up here and there (1x03, 1x04, 3x04, 3x06). Traffic light trio is a treat, and the sunburst duo has my heart forever and always (I love seeing the way MK and Wukong's relationship has developed over the course of the show, both for the better and worse). Pigsy and Tang are always a delight (thank you 1x04, 2x03, 2x04, 3x05, 4x04, and specifically the line "Sometimes it's that little bit of char that makes for a more flavorful meat! Even if it is a bit tangy."), they're definitely at the top of my list. Obviously I like shadowpeach, and shadowpeach + MK (ooooo the monkeys are such delicious/tragic foils oooo), and I think Mei and Wukong have a really interesting dynamic (Wukong seeing Ao Lie in Mei, Mei viewing Wukong as someone who has hurt MK). Wukong and Azure's dynamic is also super interesting (Azure with his unrequited crush and heartbreak), so is LBD and MK's (could talk forever about these two), however I'll cut this off here since I could probably go on for a long while about this specific topic.
#no one's asked me this before and it wouldn't be a bother if they had!#Sorry I kind of went on a tangent about different dynamics in the show and my Yellowtusk and Ne Zha agenda adsfafs#Come on Mr. "Wukong is not the loner he pretends to be'' see the good in Yellowtusk. Let him help keep the world from breaking.#Do it for me#Am I perhaps a bit too invested in a character that's honestly not had that much screen time? Perhaps#But what we are given is *muah* I love Yellowtusk#''This is not the change we dreamnt of'' lowkey the moral backbone of the brotherhood.#His little ''Azure...no!'' in the s4 special gets me too#He's just like Mei and MK fr fr#Yes. Maybe I DO like characters that would chose the person they care about over the world. What of it?#lmk writers are fucking masters at giving the most characterization with the least amount of screen time#And I'd say they mainly do that through parallels/foils/themes but I'm no expert#You can just usually put together a lot of who a character is and their arc based off how they interact with what's been established#I have a long rant about Pigsy's arc rattling around in my brain that I want to write out at some point#I will say this though: Pigsy being a man of tradition/family (2x04 - 3x07) and then giving him qualms with his family in s4 is. *muah*#Like. The thing that get's him to soften up about Zhu Bajie is learning he worked hard to become someone better#Like DO NOT TOUCH ME. I LOVE THAT PIG MAN GOD#I'm a pigsy stan blog now#Actually I love every single character I'll be real this is just who I am#I just also happen to love MK Mei LBD and Azure a little more than the rest afdasdf#asks#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkie kid#lmk speculation
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batemanofficial · 6 months
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hello upper middle class northern usamerican tumblr user. i want to play a game. you will notice that you are in a super america convenience store in rural kentucky - you have three minutes to purchase a snack and drink of your choice and make normal small talk with the cashier. however, if you use the word "cryptid" or generally make reference to appalachia and its inhabitants as "wild", uncivilized, or lacking restraint around alcoholic beverages during your time here, i will personally tie you to the chassis of a four wheeler and tip it into the river. live or die. make your choice
#speak friend and enter#i can appreciate mothman as much as the next guy but can we stop treating appalachia like it's the subject of a richard attenborough doc#i come from a long line of hillbillies and i like to think i've got a good sense of humor about it but sometimes i am tested#like. this is not a lawless land with a moonshine still in every holler and nameless voices in the woods!! this is a normal town!!#idk maybe i'm reading too much into it but i'm just tired of the cultural fetishization of appalachia by people who aren't from here#and who don't know anything about it. like yeah you know mothman and what hooch is and that's all well and good#but do you know what the opioid epidemic really is. do you know about the structural injustices that keep people like mcconnell in power#i'm not saying you have to apply dialectical political analysis to every issue that occurs in the region to be able to have an opinion#but also like. i'm tired of people looking at places like where i grew up and making them into things they aren't#like. on the one hand we have ''ooh spooky hills!! run if you hear the trees whisper your name''#and on the other we've got ''isn't appalachia so depressing...so hashtag ethel cain core...shame it's got no value beyond aesthetics''#and on yet another hand we have ''i - a person with no ties to the region - am going to take up the cause of every social issue#occurring across the entire appalachian region so the world will see just how bad these poor hill people have it. i am very smart''#and like. it's frustrating#i'm not saying you should never speak about appalachia if something we have is interesting to you#nor am i implying that i want to gatekeep discussion of the region's issues to the community bc that won't accomplish anything#i'm just saying that like any place it's complex. it's got its good things and it's got its bad things.#and you shouldn't isolate the good from the bad or vice versa - especially if you don't know the context in which those things happen.#and for the love of god dont let your own ignorance cause you to boil down those issues into a reductive and inaccurate set of stereotypes#learn about us from us. not from tiktok not from movies and for christ's sake not from hillbilly elegy. i hate that fucking book#anyway that got weirdly serious but i mean it. putting appalachia as a talking point up on the shelf until y'all can speak intelligently#ok to rb
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i crave to be loved so badly but i am so scared of it, maybe even find myself undeserving or not capable of receiving it,
i wrote a self insert character who gets into a relationship with a character who loves so entirely with such devotion and yet find myself unable to write a story where that character does love my s/i enough, the way he has loved other characters in the past. what the hell is that about?
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notjanine · 8 months
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i’ve submitted well over 50 job applications this summer. tell me why the one (1) position i’ve made the most progress toward is one i didn’t even apply for???* and THEN. yesterday. one of my preceptors from the internship i just finished emailed me out of the blue like Hey i'm gonna have an open position at my private practice soon, are you interested?** girl what the fuck is going on here***
#* i was interviewing for a part time gig and halfway thru guy was was like Oh we also have this totally different position you might like!!#(i'm two interviews in and it's got big pros and cons but it's full time with salary good benefits and great opportunities#but the job itself is not exactly my bag#but it also def wouldn't be a long term thing#the woman from the second interview said she'd have one of the current RDs in that role give me a call so i can ask more questions ab it)#** honestly a great opportunity but two things give me pause:#1. i really enjoyed my time with that rotation and my preceptor was SO kind and lovely but#it seemed like we were just communicating on different wavelengths. like i'd ask a question and then she'd give me an irrelevant answer.#she'd give me an assignment and it would take me two or three tries to get what she wanted.#it was all just slightly off. but maybe that's ok bc i wouldn't be doing ASSIGNMENTS if i worked for her. i would be seeing clients#and 2. the pay is weirdly not good. like SIGNIFICANTLY less than comparable listings i've seen#but i applied for all those and got rejected bc i don't have experience lol so maybe it'd be worth it for a little while#just to get my foot in the door#and i think it would be very flexible and i would start off with a small case load anyway so maybe i could just do it part time#while i do something else full time#bc tbh i also want to work as much as i can (without burning out) while i'm here in tx to take advantage of the lack of state income tax#and lbr if i learned anything from my internship experience it's that i hate being bored and i like variety#how great would it be to bounce between like inpatient acute care and outpatient counseling constantly. keep this brain ENGAGED!#*** the gatekeeping in this profession is unfuckingreal#like i KNEW this profession in particular was too much about ~networking~ and ~who you know~ but#i didn't think it would be this fucking bad
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itsukicoded · 6 months
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🦇.
#though i do wish ‘i don’t want to go to therapy bc i don’t want to’ was a real statement i can make#now im going into a justification spiral alone in my living room <- annoying#i just want to trust myself and see what i can do i just think it’s unfair bc the only thing i want from a therapist is a diagnosis not much#else so at least i would have that peace of mind#im not really worried abt the processing or unpacking i just want my goddamn diagnosis so i can tell someone im not faking it#but i also know what good is that? it won’t change much and i don’t want to fall into the trap of over identifying with trauma and the like#so i go back and forth#it doesn’t matter how horrifying my past is i wish i didn’t look crazy when saying i don’t want therapy#bc it’s not about learning self care grounding and choosing myself it’s much more serious than that#like institutionalization serious some of this stuff. when i can even see out of my own eyes everything is unrecognizable#and i would lose months of my life in the part of therapy that ‘gets worse’ before getting better i don’t necessarily need to be going#backwards w a stranger i am fully committed to going forwards with myself however#i also just think it’s hard bc i feel better now that ive let myself be more reserved which looks like moving backwards#my biggest issues are sleep and interpersonal these are things that take practice#or maybe im just going on and on abt it bc that person just talks without listening#so now these are things that will go unheard forever#but i said this to them i know they’re hearing ‘denial’ and not hearing ‘me’ bc they keep assuming our brains are wired the same when they#never where. im just a nostalgic dream to them and i hate being pitied#it’s not the same as being cared for#idk i know myself at the end of the day and i don’t have to prove to anyone that im making the right decisions for myself but therapy isn’t#going to fix me and there’s no ‘normal’ i can become that’s why im deciding not to for now i care for myself in the best way i know#and im not necessarily looking forward to fighting with someone i don’t know to believe in me i already have to do this with the people i do#i have little to no memories <- this is my main concern my lack of memory permanence continuous brain fog#when did i get home i don’t remember saying that i thought today was thursday <- these worry me more than they used to since ive started#noticing it i don’t remember my little sisters graduation#but this is the life i was dealt im trying#what the hell am i saying#personal
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The thing with the Mari Lwyd, though, is that it's being... I don't know, 'appropriated' is the wrong word, but certainly turned into something it isn't.
Thing is, this is a folk tradition in the Welsh language, and that's the most important aspect of it. I feel partly responsible for this, because I accidentally became a bit of an expert on the topic of the Mari Lwyd in a post that escaped Tumblr containment, and I clearly didn't stress it strongly enough there (in my defence, I wrote that post for ten likes and some attention); but this is a Welsh language tradition, conducted in Welsh, using Welsh language poetic forms that are older than the entire English language, and also a very specific sung melody (with a very specific first verse; that's Cân y Fari). It is not actually a 'rap battle'. It's not a recited poem. It is not any old rhyme scheme however you want.
It is not in English.
Given the extensive and frankly ongoing attempts by England to wipe out Welsh, and its attendant cultural traditions, the Mari is being revived across Wales as an act of linguistic-cultural defiance. She's a symbol of Welsh language culture, specifically; an icon to remind that we are a distinct people, with our own culture and traditions, and in spite of everyone and everything, we're still here. Separating her from that by removing the Welsh is, to put it mildly, wildly disrespectful.
...but it IS what I'm increasingly seeing, both online and in real world Mari Lwyd festivals. She's gained enormous pop-culture popularity in recent years, which is fantastic; but she's also been reduced from the tradition to just an aesthetic now.
So many people are talking/drawing about her as though she's a cryptid or a mythological figure, rather than the folk practice of shoving a skull on a stick and pretending to be a naughty horse for cheese and drunken larks. And I get it! It's an intriguing visual! Some of the artwork is great! But this is not what she is. She's not a Krampus equivalent for your Dark Christmas aesthetic.
I see people writing their own version of the pwnco (though never called the pwnco; almost always called some variant on 'Mari Lwyd rap battle'), and as fun as these are, they are never even written in the meter and poetic rules of Cân y Fari, much less in Welsh, and they never conclude with the promise to behave before letting the Mari into the house. The pwnco is the central part to the tradition; this is the Welsh language part, the bit that's important and matters.
Mari Lwyd festivals are increasingly just English wassail festivals with a Mari or two present. The Swansea one last weekend didn't even include a Mari trying to break into a building (insert Shrek meme); there was no pwnco at all. Even in the Chepstow ones, they didn't do actual Cân y Fari; just a couple of recited verses. Instead, the Maris are just an aesthetic, a way to make it look a bit more Welsh, without having to commit to the unfashionable inconvenience of actually including Welsh.
And I don't really know what the answers are to these. I can tell you what I'd like - I'd like art to include the Welsh somewhere, maybe incorporating the first line of Cân y Fari like this one did, to keep it connected to the actual Welsh tradition (or other Welsh, if other phrases are preferred). I'd like people who want to write their version of the pwnco to respect the actual tradition of it by using Cân y Fari's meter and rhyme scheme, finishing with the promise to behave, and actually calling it the pwnco rather than a rap battle (and preferably in Welsh, though I do understand that's not always possible lol). I'd like to see the festivals actually observe the tradition, and include a link on the booking website to an audio clip of Cân y Fari and the words to the first verse, so attendees who want to can learn it ahead of time. I don't know how feasible any of that is, of course! But that's what I'd like to see.
I don't know. This is rambly. But it's something I've been thinking about - and increasingly nettled by - for a while. There's was something so affirming and wonderful at first about seeing the Mari's climb into international recognition, but it's very much turned to dismay by now, because she's important to my endangered culture and yet that's the part that everyone apparently wants to drop for being too awkward and ruining the aesthetic. It's very frustrating.
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allinllachuteruteru · 5 months
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Duolingo is NOT what it used to be.
“Duolingo is ‘sunsetting the development of the Welsh course’ (and many others)”.
I’ve used Duolingo since 2013. It used to be about genuinely learning languages and preserving endangered ones. It used to have a vibrant community and forum where users were listened to. It used to have volunteers that dedicated countless hours and even years to making the best courses they could while also trying to explain extremely nuanced and complex grammar in simple terms.
In the past two years it feels like Von Ahn let the money talk instead of focusing on the original goal.
No one truly had a humongous problem with the subscription tier for SuperDuolingo. We understood it: if you can afford to pay, help keep Duolingo free for those who couldn’t.
It started when the company went public. Volunteers were leaving courses they created because they warned of differing longterm goals compared to Duolingo’s as a company; not long after it was announced that the incubator (how volunteers were able to make courses in the first place) would be shut down. A year goes by and the forums—the voice of the users and the way people were able to share tips and explanations—is discontinued. A year or two later, Duolingo gets a completely new makeover—the Tree is gone and you don’t control what lesson you start with. With the disappearance of the Tree, all grammar notes and explanations for courses not in the Big 8 (consisting of the courses made before the incubator like Spanish/French/German/etc. and of the most popular courses like Japanese/Korean/Chinese/etc.) are removed with it. Were you learning Vietnamese and have no idea how honorifics work without the grammar notes? Shit outta luck bud. Were you learning Polish and have absolutely no clue how one of the declensions newly thrown at you functions? Suck it up. In a Reddit AMA, Von Ahn claims that the new design resulted in more users utilizing the app/site. How he claims that statistic? By counting how many people log into their Duolingo account, as if an entire app renovation wouldn’t cause an uptick in numbers to even see what the fuck just happened to the courses.
Von Ahn announces next in a Reddit AMA that no more language courses will be added from what there already is available. His reasoning? No one uses the unpopular language courses — along with how Duolingo will now be doing upkeep with the courses already in place. And here I am, currently looking on the Duolingo website how there are 1.8 million active learners for Irish, 284 thousand active learners for Navajo, and even 934 thousand active learners for fucking High Valyrian. But yea, no one uses them. Not like the entire Navajo Nation population is 399k members or anything, or like 1.8 million people isn’t 36% of the entire population of Ireland or anything.
And now this. What happened to the upkeep of current courses? Oh, Von Ahn only meant the popular ones that already have infinite resources. Got it. Duolingo used to be a serious foundational resource for languages with little resources while also adding the relief of gamification.
It pisses me off. It really does. This was not what Duolingo started out as. And yea, maybe I shouldn’t get invested in a dingy little app. But as someone who spent most of her adolescence immersed in language learning to the point where it was literally keeping me alive at one point, to the point where languages felt like my only friend as a tween, and to the point where friendships on the Duolingo forums with likeminded individuals my age and other enthusiasts who even sent me books in other languages for free because they wanted people to learn it, the evolution of Duolingo hits a bitter nerve within me.
~End rant.
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mrfoox · 1 year
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i wish i trusted my own feelings more but here i am?
#me: i feel this way (: someone i like: um... are you sure? i think you feel more that way#me: oh shit... maybe i do? binch i gotta think this one through now..........#i dont think my answer will change but its uh... worth another look#oliver said a while ago he thinks i'm in love with fabian.. and immidetly i said very confidently apperantly that i dont#and now ive been thinking about it and im like....... ok but am i?#told oliver again and he was like 'what i thought you said you werent? you sounded very sure about it'#yeah i mean...... at one hand i am but also...... i think my brain can do a lot of shit to keep me away from things that will probably end#badly. and genuinly i do not think me and fabian would have any chanse even if somehow he would be into me too#i'd never feel good enough for him. so i may just have gone into the whole thought of#its never going to happen so you obviously just like him in a friendly way. the end. idk#as usual romantic feelings for me is a mess. i dont divide love in that way naturally. for me love is love. if i love you i love you#i'd do anything for you and anything you'd want with me i'd be down for unless we are very unlike character wise#i just can see myself liking almost#all my friends in a romantic way? i can imagine it from my pov but its theirs i cant#not something i actively think about tho its just.... something i have and i know?#maybe this actually isnt how i think but theres another explanation (like oliver said 'being afraid of others leaving so youre willing to do#anything they want to keep them aorund) but until i learn otherwise this is what i keep thinking.  i feel like a freak tho bc i dont think#anyone can really... understand it unless they feel soething similar ? or are super open or such. the friends ive told i think got a bit#scared. makes sense... but i cant make it sound better or more normal like yeah. everyone is safe from me romantically but also#almost everyone is welcome to hmu if they wanna try dating i guess. i speak big but i do have some exceptions#mainly bc of character meshing :'))#miranda talking shit
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snekdood · 1 year
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Idrc if you wanna find the politics in every piece of media you consume but personally i dont really care to all the time like idk. Like idk sometimes i just wanna enjoy shit w/o constantly thinking about the underlying politics or whatever? Sometimes its hard to ignore if its super rw based but still, a lot of other shit i just feel like im investing more energy into this shit than was intended for most ppl like idk. The underlying political implications of spirited away. Idk i just dont really care lol
#its a movie about an emotional journey so uh thats kinda my focus there bud#also ngl it does feel like ppl bring up this argument so they can keep coming to conclusions abt what the creator meant by whatever#when sometimes its not for that reason or not that deep. idk. i do feel like some of yall are married to being paranoid that whatever ur#consuming will somehow make you take on entirely different politics?? idk. but ill be real consuming things w not perfect politics only#really solidifies in my head that im right when i *do* actually think its worth psychoanalyzing. or maybe i end up neing wrong#in my assumptions. either way. im ok w critical thinking and then also not feel this weird need to shit on the media constantly#like i loathe family guy. some of the jokes are funny. most of the show is horrible. i dont talk about it bc i dont care.#im sorry lol like. what do you want from me#ive already thought about what about the show i dont like. its politics etc. and i dont watch it. but thats bc its kinda hard to ignore#the constantly shitting on everyone energy of the show. w other shit like idk. dora or something like?? im not spending my time#looking for the political flaws really?? probably there to learn spanish lol#ig i personally find tearing apart media all the time and finding its flaws to be like. a hobby people engage in. but they seem to see it#like as... political action..? ig i can see that being good for something like harry potter or whatever. but sometimes its like idk what u#guys fuckin want from me. you want me to analyze every fucking thing i watch always and forever? because for me the problematic and#off putting politics come off bery obviously when they come up. but as far as a lot of childrens shows go? idk. ig id be more focused#on the plot than the politics..?#ig its bc i kinda feel like... this isnt political action to analyze media all the time.......#i think a better use of your time is learning what you can actually do to change peoples minds to be more progressive personally?#ig if you do that w a piece of media often co opted by rwingers or something like that then its cool but idk#ig i worry about shit like. 'spongebob is a fascist' type takes lol. ig i dont feel like this is like... a great way to move ppl to the#left. esp since the only ppl who are gonna read your media analysis on tumblr is other leftists who already agree with you :|
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