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baronessblixen · 7 months

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Today's prompt: 7. "Do you recognize this?"

Hurt/comfort AND humor after "Pusher": Mulder doesn't mind Scully showing up at his apartment after the case at all. Only problem: she's not alone. (wc: 874)

Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2023

Fictober Day 8: A Very Queequeg Morning

"Do you know what this is?" Mulder asks. He tries to be quiet for Scully's sake, but it's early morning and he's irritated.

"Do you recognize this?" he asks now, pointing. "Wouldn't blame you if you didn't because I barely recognize it. You have no idea what you did, do you? You don't understand a single word of what I'm saying." Mulder sighs. How deep has he sunk? Trying to have a conversation with a dog. If Queequeg can be called that. He's sitting in front of him, his ears perked up, and he's slightly panting. He looks harmless, but Mulder knows better. His latest crime is just further proof.

When Scully showed up here at his apartment late last night, Queequeg at her heels, he only had eyes for her.

"I- it's silly," she'd said, blushing. "I don't want to be alone tonight." She didn't ask if she could come in, and he didn't make a big deal out of it, letting her inside. She had food for the dog, and her meticulously packed overnight bag. She came prepared.

They didn't speak. What was there to talk about? Scully said all there was to say in the hospital. They shouldn't let Robert Patrick Modell take up another minute of their time. Easy to say, much more difficult to achieve. Before she showed up, he'd already given up on the idea of sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he heard the click of his gun, and felt Modell in his head like a fly, trying to make him do what he couldn't even fathom.

Shoot Scully.

But he hadn't. She'd saved herself, and him.

"I'm glad you're here," he said after a while because it was the goddamn truth. But he had to remind himself that it hadn't happened. That whatever Modell had tried, he hadn't succeeded. Scully just smiled at him.

That was last night. After everything, he'd barely taken notice of Queequeg. But while Mulder had ignored him, the fur ball must have already been plotting his crime. With his bedroom still a mess, and his bed hidden somewhere in there, there had only been one place to sleep for Scully. His couch.

Gentleman that he is, he offered to sleep on the floor, but Scully had said no. And when Scully says no, you listen. So they shared the couch. A few "is this okay" and "are you comfortable" later, and they fell asleep wrapped up in each other, needing each other's warmth and presence. Even if neither of them would admit it. There was, naturally, no space for Queequeg on that couch. And that, Mulder figures, was the last straw for the Pomeranian.

"You have zero regrets, huh?" Queequeg is still staring at him, sitting still. "You know, I thought I'd take you with me on my morning run. Give you some exercise. What are we gonna do now?"

"Mulder?" Scully's sleepy voice comes from the living room. So much for letting her sleep in. It had already been a gamble disentangling from her earlier. He didn't want to get up. Her hand over his chest, her solid form pressed against him, he just wanted to lay there. But he'd heard Queequeg's nails on the kitchen floor, and a noise he couldn't place, and decided it would be better to check on the dog. If only he'd woken up sooner.

"Is everything okay?" Queequeg, his tail wagging, greets Scully by licking her hand.

"Your dog has a very strange palate," Mulder says.

"Hm?" She turns to him, and for a moment he forgets everything. Her hair is tousled and her freckled face fresh and devoid of makeup a sight to behold. She's barefoot and wearing her pajamas, in his apartment, as if this were the most natural thing in the world.

"He doesn't just eat people," Mulder says once he's gathered his thoughts. "He apparently also likes the taste of running shoes." He shows her what's left of his shoe. There's a huge gap where the cap of the shoe should be.

"Oh Mulder," she says, and he knows she's trying to remain serious, but her lips are twitching. "I'm so sorry. I'll buy you new ones."

"I suppose I still have an old pair somewhere. But all that plastic he ate? Do you think he's okay?" Queequeg shoots him a look. A truce, Mulder supposes.

"I'm going to take him to the vet. Just to be sure."

"I'll drive you."

"Mulder, you don't have to."

"I want to. Queequeg ate my weekend plans. Let's have him checked out and make sure his unusual breakfast choices aren't causing any problems."

"Thank you, Mulder. For- for everything."

"I should thank you," he says. "I wouldn't have been able to sleep last night if it hadn't been for you." She blushes but then she slips her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly. She doesn't want to let go and neither does he. Mulder holds her, amazed how tiny she is without her heels on, and closes his eyes. He doesn't know how long they stay entwined like this, but it's enough time for Queequeg to circle them and throw up the remnants of his running shoe all over his feet.

#fictober23 #the grammar is all over the place isn't it #please be kind <3 #i wanted to try something new #msr #my writing #my fic

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maideninorange · 1 year

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for the ask game, not sure what you would do with this prompt but i'm curious anyway!

16. “You don’t have a choice.”

Oh my! I wasn't sure either for a while there! Sorry about the long wait (even by my standards)! But I came up with a decent idea in the end, so here we go!

(TW: Just some somewhat graphic death threats, choking imagery, and mild blood. Nothing too dark here for this one, because I was more in the mood for something humorous. Also, Maiden getting too into her worldbuilding, even by her standards.)

It was a little embarrassing, in Tenkai's humble opinion, to get so absorbed in their grumbling over misplaced things on the shelves that it took them until the knife at the back of their throat presses in for them to realize it was even there.

They raise their arms up, "Not even gonna bother by the spell card rules?"

"And put myself at a disadvantage? Why would I do that?"

Ah, they recognize that voice. So they've been ambushed by that scoundrel? Well, it was only a matter of time before they got the bright idea to try picking on them. This was gonna be fun.

"Ah, the Black Shitodo has finally decided to threaten me? Remaining a scoundrel I see," Tenkai can't help but smirk as the knife presses a little further into their neck, "Still 'accquaintances' with Saragimaru there?"

"I don't exist." And the snake is here too then. This oughta make their week.

"Shut up and keep watch," Kuroji's attention turns back to Tenkai, "Now Zuifeng, if you don't comply, no amount of danmaku will help against a simple knife. You'll-"

"I'll be nothing but a mere corpse on the floor? Have the snakes been rubbing off on you or something? You can't even be creative in how you're gonna kill me like Orochin usually gets!"

"...?!" Speaking of snakes, that must've got Saragimaru's gears turning. This'll make screwing with these scoundrels extra fun.

"Unlike Yaorochi, you'll find that I prefer much more simple measures of murder. So do you truly want to test me?"

Ouch. And now there's some blood gushing out from where Kuroji pricked them, making their point. They let out a nervous chuckle, "Geez, not gonna even give me the illusion of free choice?"

"You don't have a choice."

They gathered that much. But confirmation is always nice.

Tenkai takes a step forward, not quite sure what direction they wanted them to go in yet, "So what are you guys after this time? Money? Powerful artifacts? My pride?"

"Knowledge, actually," the scoundrel answers with a light hum, "Sources say Azumaterasu has a rare book cataloguing the Senri family line all the way back to the very first priest of Mugenri."

"And by sources you mean some poor village historian you extorted that information out of."

"He didn't even try to fight back. Just gave in begging for his wealth to be spared," Saragimaru grumbles, confirming what they already knew.

Tenkai was even pretty sure they knew who that someone was. Always was a snivelling coward. How anyone could've entrusted him with such important information is beyond them.

But even so...Ooh, this was definitely going to be fun!

They bite down a mischievous grin, "Let me guess, trying to one-up the current priest? I never knew you had any sort of interest in history!"

"I don't," A low growl hisses in their ear, "I simply see the value in learning all I can about this world. The rarer information I know? The more of a bargain it will be, if you know what I mean..."

"And to make that worthless priest they won't shut up about jealous. Or something." They can just hear Saragimaru shrugging.

Tenkai suppresses a loud chuckle at Kuroji's annoyed shout. Oh, make no mistake, it would be awful if they got ahold of it. The untold havoc that scoundrel would wreck simply by having one of the most important pieces of documentation the Senri clan ever entrusted to their family cannot be underestimated. And their superiors would have their head. That too.

But that implies they plan on letting them get ahold of it in the first place.

"Can't let ya pass on that one," they exclaim, trying to sound at least a little worried, "Even if I wanted to, that book is under lock and key. Sorry!"

"Allow me to repeat myself, just this once: You don't have a choice in this."

"Or what? You'd actually slit my throat? I mean, you are a scoundrel, so..."

And there's the knife drawing blood again. Ouch.

"As a matter of fact, yes. Yes I would. So start marching."

Tenkai obeys, legs automatic, "Sheesh! Someone needs to learn better manners!"

"Don't you know manners and this scoundrel don't mix? Not that you would know much more about manners yourself."

Tenkai can only click their tongue at that. Tsurubami would've been proud.

Kuroji drags them deeper into the bowels of the shop. The "Employees Only" scroll on the door was cheerfully ignored, and they were taken in and out of various rooms in less a sinister waltz and more a clueless stumble. They even start making low growls as the charade goes on. They oughta be glad Tenkai was left to their own devices (miraculously) today, otherwise they would be very, very dead right about the second room. Maybe the third if they want to be generous.

Oh, make no mistake, their superiors are gonna be pissed if they find out Kuroji decided to break into Azumaterasu, and at them especially if they find them compromised like this. The aftermath would not be pleasant if they get caught.

But then again... it's been a good while since someone tried to knock those arrogant asses down a peg. So why not give them a little helping hand, by a certain definition?

The dizzying constant shifting of their surroundings only stops when a loud crack rings out, causing both of them to look in its direction.

...Oh darn, the snake knows a thing or two about picking apart barriers. Not much, clearly, as Tenkai can easily bypass that particular barrier without busting it so loudly, but they did know how to destabilize the inscriptions at the very least.

Saragimaru turn to look at them, the blue glow at their fingertips fading away, "...Found it."

And by the grin returning to Kuroji's face, it seems Tenkai's reaction had given it away.

"Oh my oh my Saragimaru, how did you ever know the entrance was right there?"

"The melon took me into this very room when we met the first time. Something about the inscription working best in that room... though they were lying so..."

Saragimaru fixes them with a harsh glare. Tenkai can only give a half-hearted shrug, unapologetic, "So you can remember how to break the barrier like I showed you, but can't keep track of prices. Suits ya pretty well if you ask me~!"

"...! Why I oughta-"

"Put the sword down. We still need them to bypass whatever traps these old farts put in order to gatekeep us."

Saragimaru lets out a loud groan as they sheathe their kodachi, their jaw clenched. Kuroji hums in their ear a moment later, "But don't worry! Once they disable all the traps it should be perfectly alright to take care of them then!"

... Okay, now this is just downright hilarious. Last time they got held at swordpoint, the youkai were all cheerfully talking about dismembering them once they served their purpose. These guys are just being more polite about it!

Needless to say, Tenkai bursted out laughing. As if these two could ever be the death of them! They kept laughing as they were ushered through the library doorway and down the stairs.

It wasn't until their laughter became full blown wheezing that they were asked by their current captor, "...What's so funny?"

"You..." They wipe a tear from their eye, less walking down the steps and more skipping down them, "...You plan to kill me once I've outlived my usefulness. Are you sure you won't consider a career as a comedian?"

Judging by the low hiss, like a little bird trying to sound bigger than it really is, Kuroji was making, they weren't too impressed by their wit. The knife presses into their back, forcing them down two at a time.

"...Huh. I now see why you want to kill them. All this time I thought I was craving bread, not blood."

"I told you they were better off dead!" Their eyes bore into them from behind, "So don't tempt me! I will if I have to, consequences be damned!"

"Bloodthirsty now, I see?" Tenkai snickers, "See what I mean? Utterly hilarious! Seriously, both of you might have a future in comedy!"

"Shut up..." They both mutter in unison. That will probably be the first and last time they ever agree on something, to boot.

Tsurubami would definitely be proud. They've come a long way since...

Their feet touch down on smooth stone. They swallow hard, knowing where they are and what they'll have to do.

"March," Kuroji whispers in their ear. The knife digs into their back, and Tenkai obeys.

Tenkai roams the long corridors of books and scrolls, one foot firmly in front of the other. They knew exactly where the book in question is. Tsurubami had quite a few suggestions for it when they stole that very book the third time they met. Their superiors didn't know it, but they had gleefully heeded their suggestions.

Not that Kuroji knows that. Nor do they intend to let them know and ruin their fun.

Tenkai guided the scoundrels over to the bookcase in question. The one at the very back, the oldest and mustiest.

Oh, and the only one concealed behind a very obvious and visible barrier. Can't forget that part!

"...So what happens if you touch that barrier there?" Saragimaru asks.

"You rapidly age as your future death plays out right before your eyes."

"Even to the ageless...?"

"Then just the vision of your future death," Tenkai smiles as a loud sigh rolls by their ears.

Okay, they've never actually seen what happens when an actual intruder like these two tries to touch that barrier in question before. They do remember only getting a small shock as a kid when curiosity got the better of them though. One of their...more overdramatic caretakers did spin that story to scare them away, so perhaps there's a grain of truth in it?

Not that it really mattered. They aren't hearing any protests from them, that's for sure.

"Well I happen to like being the age I'm at," Kuroji huffs, "So...? Are you going to grab the book or not? Because if you're not, I presume you know-"

"You'll slit my throat and then leave me to bleed out and die. Yadda yadda yadda," Tenkai rolls their eyes, "If you're gonna actually go ahead and kill me, at least do something more fun than a simple knife to the throat."

"Believe me, the possibilities for me killing both of you are endless if I had it my way," Saragimaru deadpans, as if they actually had the power to follow up on that particular threat.

"I'm well aware. You've told me plenty of them already," Kuroji sounds way too chipper when refuting their wayward servant in Tenkai's opinion, "But unless you would rather be the one to try and break that barrier there, I would -"

"I lost the right to share my opinion. Got it," The butt of a wooden pole jabs against Tenkai's back, making them take a step forward, "...Hey melon, if you find a way to throw this scoundrel into that barrier, please do. Preferably at once."

A huff, "Ignore them. Try that and I'll show you 'creative'."

"I make no promises!" Tenkai grins, flexing their fingers, warming up with power, as they strut towards the barrier.

In theory, this barrier, designed to keep important books under lock and key (and far away from the nose of their least favorite apprentice), is one of the sturdiest, most complex constructs second to only the Great Barrier itself. It contains dozens of inscriptions, and many riddles to keep intruders (and certain smart alecks) from easily confusing and breaking it. Few should be able to access it without an elder's say so.

Keyword: should.

In practice, this barrier was merely further proof that their superiors have never actually fashioned a complicated barrier in their lives. Perhaps it was Tenkai's genius getting the better of them, but this barrier was about as complex as the one on their safe box of gag gifts ill fitting for someone like them to hold onto. It does it's job against one who knows jack about breaking barriers, but only serves as a fun puzzle for a professional barrier breaker.

Tenkai just so happened to be one such professional barrier breaker.

The runic inscriptions light up with a quick swipe over the barrier's surface. Glowing orange fingertips scrawl over it, seeking out the vaguest, frailest sentences.

...Found one.

A twisted grin sprung to Tenkai's face as they began to pour all their energy into it. The inscription glowed brighter and brighter, until it was almost blinding. And then, right before this section could crack, disabled, under the pressure, they let up.

They then reach inside the glowing section of barrier, and yank the target book out.

"You insult me," They huff as their handiwork fades, leaving the barrier like it was never touched, "I could break barriers like that in my sleep."

"...All you did was reach through the barrier and make the room smell like melons," Saragimaru pinches their nose, "You less broke the barrier and more bypassed it."

"And alert my bosses that they were being robbed the moment it shatters? You really ought to be thanking me for not blowing your cover!" They let out a small chuckle at Kuroji's low growl, "Breaking barriers is child's play. Now bypassing barriers? That's a completely different skillset! I put in all this hard work for you guys, and you're too greedy to even thank me?"

"The book. Now." Considering the knife now back at their throat, they guessed so. Kuroji is, at least. Saragimaru is more easily manipulated than greedy.

But nevertheless, Tenkai deposited the book into Kuroji's waiting hand, whistling a small tune as they cast their glance at a nearby bookshelf. It immediately vanishes into their electric purple jacket, never to be seen again.

"Thank you. Cooperating wasn't so bad, was it? Less painful," Kuroji's focus turns to Saragimaru, "Now tie up this loose end here. We don't need all of Azumaterasu coming down on our heads, now do we?"

"On your head. This feels a little too easy, knowing Tenkai Zuifeng. Don't you think they got something else up their sleeve? And don't mix me up in the consequences of your own actions!"

"Oh no, they'd definitely come after you too," Tenkai clasps their hands together, doing their best imitation of the grin Tsurubami typically wore when about to discipline troublemakers, "An excuse to go after one of the last remnants of Yamata-no-Orochi's lineage? It would be a crime to let it go to waste! And then both of your families for good measure! ...Just speaking from personal experience here."

They conveniently left out the time they went after Tsurubami once, for the exact same crime by raw coincidence. They were pretty sure Saragimaru and their beloved Yaorochi would be able to keep their hubris unscathed (unfortunately). Now Kuroji? ...A little more debatable. But that scoundrel's upset worse people before and their superiors are all old farts, so who knows?

It did the trick though. Saragimaru's eyes widened a little, "They'd go after Yaorochi-sama?"

"Loose end. Tie it up," Kuroji deadpans, their gaze flitting between Tenkai, Saragimaru, and the room all around them."

"So I can finally kill this obnoxious melon?" Saragimaru's voice lightens notably, a fang nicking their lip as they bite it.

"Tempting, but no. Leaving a body behind is the exact opposite of a clean break-in. You're going to tie their tongue up so they can't say we were here."

They put their naginata back in its sheathe, restrapping it to their back, "Ugh...Why do I always have to cast the curses? You can cast them too. I've seen you do it."

"...Because your curses are more effective, obviously," Kuroji's gaze turns back to Tenkai, nostrils flared.

"Translation: They can't cast magic like you and I can there, Saragimaru," Tenkai jeers, snorting at the death glare Kuroji then gives them.

"I mean, we all know that...I was just wondering why they weren't gearing up to-"

"Shut. Up. Both of you. You've lost the right to speak," They turn their back towards Tenkai, "Now curse them. Then let's get out of here."

"... Yes Your Excellency," Saragimaru grumbles, stepping towards Tenkai. A blue glow, like rainwater, emits from their fingertips, ominously pressing closer and closer to them.

Or at least, it would've been ominous if they haven't been so desensitized to the dark side of magic. Thanks Tsurubami.

"Sheesh, you guys are so mean! Can't take a little joke or-"

The glowing blue hand closes in around their throat, "Shut. Up."

Tenkai suddenly felt like they were choking on something. They tried to laugh through the pain of talons digging into their nape, but every sound they tried to make sounded garbled. A small white cloud puffs from their mouth, like breath on a cold winter day. Saragimaru's teeth gnash together, and soon enough Tenkai's throat felt clogged with them.

They gargle, clouds bursting from their mouth in a rapid stream like bubbles, purging their tongue of what occurred in this library. And then, just like that, it was all over and the magic all dissipated, their windpipe clearing of misplaced weather.

Saragimaru lets go, the glow of their magic fading, and Tenkai's body drops to the floor with a thud, as if they had dropped them. Air flows through their lungs like sand, black spots dancing in the corners of their vision as they watch their tail sway gently from side to side.

"There. If they say anything about our robbery and hostage taking, the heavens shall rob them of the ability to speak the truth. ...Poor thing, I'd feel bad if it wasn't for them being Tenkai Zuifeng..."

"Good enough. We got all that we need, so let's leave them here."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? People are going to know someone was here once they notice your stupid book is missing..."

"But will they be able to tell it was us specifically? Besides, it's not like we can't pin this on Tsubakura when all is said and done. They say the Senri priest has some kind of right to this book, don't they?"

"I thought this whole pointless excursion was to make that dumb priest you are so obsessed with jealous. Blaming them for your crime sounds very counter-intuitive."

"And that's enough out of you. Let's make our exit while this place is still clear of those elders we're supposed to fear."

"...Did I actually curse the right person?"

"Oh you're such a tease! Didn't you know my body can be just as loose as my lips?"

"Ugh..."

Tenkai clamours to their knees, watching the scoundrels march up the stairs, bickering all the way there. Right as they both reached the top, Kuroji whirls around, and tips their hat to them.

Then, the scoundrel and their swordsnake vanish.

Tenkai pushes themself to their feet, coughing up one more cloud as the curse rolls around their throat and onto their tongue, tasting of smog. It was a pretty unpleasant feeling actually, but Tenkai has been under enough of these sorts of curses to know a strong one from a weak one. And if Saragimaru really wanted them to shut up, they'd be coughing up clouds and hail for weeks on end for daring to think of the forbidden object in question.

It would also be much harder to unravel than this, going by the magical handiwork now decorating their throat and along their chin. Though going by their few unpleasant encounters with that scoundrel, that wrench in their plans was well deserved.

Not as good as the one Tenkai threw though. They can't wait to see the look on Kuroji's face when they realize they handed up a rulebook instead of the history book they were actually after.

Tenkai wobbles over to the bookcase off to the side. They pluck a certain book off the shelf, and with a wave of their hand, the barrier vanishes, revealing A Brief History of the Senri Clan in all its musty glory.

(It hasn't been updated since the fifth priest before the current ones. Tsurubami had ranted to them long and hard about that once they finally got their hands on the book.)

Like Tsurubami had suggested a long, long time ago, Tenkai had the book swapped out for a conveniently dense decoy, disguising both with a cloaking barrier as the other. Not even their superiors had figured out the swap, but that won't last much longer once someone finally realizes they're missing a book or two.

Especially not after Kuroji's plan blows up in their face and they inevitably throw caution to the wind over it. Tenkai can just picture their rage now. The way their cheeks puff up and turn red when angered had always made them snicker.

They blow the dust off the cover before tucking it under their arm. Oh, they couldn't wait until their little prank is discovered. People like those two are way more fun to manipulate than some of the other idiots that occasionally try to make use of them. It's going to be great.

But right now...What exactly should they do? Their superiors are going to be pissed either way, even though they have dozens of those bloated rulebooks lying around in here. Should they put this book back and let sleeping dogs lie for a little while? Hm...

Their attention turns to the old forbidden bookcase it should be on. A smirk plays at their lips.

Perhaps the scoundrels can serve one more use to them after all? They may not know it yet, but they've already humiliated their superiors once today with their crime. What's a little more to teach those hags a well overdue lesson?

...Tsurubami would definitely be cackling at what they've done if they were still here. They'll definitely have to tell them about this when they meet again.

#ask and you shall receive (writing requests)#len'en #len'en project #len'en fanfiction #tenkai zuifeng #kuroji shitodo #adagumo no saragimaru #(tsurubami is mentioned quite a bit here)#(because Tenkai)#(but I'm not tagging them lol)#Seriously I'm really sorry this took so long!#This thing was a complete asshole to finish #Ideas would not flow for a while there lol #I wanted to try something new #(and keep from pigeonholing myself)#and decided to flex my skills at comedy #not sure how funny this actually is #but I gave it my best shot!#...and got a little too into my worldbuilding again (Oops!)#the magic imagery was fun though #and hey! Kuroji finally got to be a bitch in a fic I wrote! Hooray!#Victory all around!#(Even if they didn't win)#(but they don't know that lol)#tw death threats #tw choking #(more imagery than actual but still)#gratuitous worldbuilding #a scoundrel and their swordsnake (slaver team)#the old dictators (tsurubami & tenkai)

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