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#I was an atheist until I found out I was a god
haemosexuality · 6 months
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most of the schools i went to were catholic to its rlly surprising that i never had any type of religion class. it didnt actually affect anything other than us being made to stand in line and pray before class (and also sing the national anthem) but like you could just, Not do that and be chill
#i did go to catechism classes as a kid but that only lasted for a few months#i was 9 i think or 10#kinda diff subject but i have a lot of memories of being 10-11 and figuring out religion#a lot of my memories for that time period are Gone I Am Memory Issues Man but not those for some reason#babies first independent thought <3#i remember first doubting what i knew about god when i was like 7? but i shelved that until 5th/6th grade#as ive repeatedly brought up in this blog my sister died when i was in 5th grade which caused my parents to double down on the catholicism#at the same time i had found Atheist Progressive Facebook Pages and doubting everything#they made a routine of every day before bed reading me a passage from the bible and i had to sit there like yas queen so true#but me and this friend from school were heaving deep philosophical talks about religion dailyyyyyyyy#she reached the conclusion of god not being real a bit before me and i remember mentioning to my parents how i dont think thatd mean she#was gonna go to hell in one of the Nightly Bible Sessions#before i reached that conclusion i actually adopted the line of thinking thay god Was real#he just sucked ass and was a terrible being. and also fuck christianity#tho a few months later i went full atheist#one time me and that friend were on a fucking amusement park ride discusding religion. thats still funny to me#also a while later my mom started dipping her toe in other religions mostly as she tried to figure out how to deal w my sister dying#she got into spiritism and took me to like a. idk. lecture???? sermon??? i did not care so i daydreamed lesbian ever after highxmonster high#fanfiction during it. 👍#my dad also gave me a very long talk about how my mom was being tempted by the devil at that time which like. ok#also at age 11 the last time i went to church happened. it was on the 1 year anniversary of my grandpa dying (which also happened in 5th#grade) and his name was gonna be mentioned. i was already atheist then and i felt Very out of place. also intried convincing my younger#cousin the tooth fairy was real doing it#oh and i can never forget how i posted on facebook telling my extended family that i was an atheist and then my aunt held a prayer session#at her house while me n the other kids were playing and Loudly talked about how parents who let their children be atheists are doing the#devils work or whatever. or the family friend that told my mom the reason my sister died was bc my mom didnt go to church regularly#my mom didn't go to church regularly bc my sister was dying and she was busy trying to prevent that. lmao.#my sister dying actually had nothing to do w me questioning religion but literally everyone seemed to think so at the time. theyd be like#i know you might be angry at god because of your sister.... and i was like? no bitch theres just no scientific proof that guy exists what#oh there are so many typos and mistakes in these tags im not editing that. good luck
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farfromstrange · 2 months
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Mismatched Bridesmaid | Matt Murdock x F!Reader
PART 2 of The Vault
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See this post for more information on my Valentine's Day Special & Follower Celebration, but these fics can be read separately!
Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader
Summary: Deciding to go to your old college roommate's wedding turns into a bad idea when you suddenly have to function as a bridesmaid until you're paired with a very handsome groomsman.
Warnings: Fluff, attempt at humor, SMUT (18+ MINORS DNI), oral f!receiving, use of "good girl", One-Night Stand, shameless flirting, kind of "horny at first sight", so cheesy it might make you hate cheese
Word Count: 4.3k
A/n: I was wondering why this didn't post until I saw that I hit "save draft" instead of schedule, so this may come on time for some and too late for others, but I'm still awake, so it counts as the 15th. Also, when I wrote this it was after hinting at it on here, and I was excited at first, but I'm not too happy with it now because it's just silly and falls a little flat, in my opinion. This is why I went back in and edited a hell of a lot, adding some things, etc. Nevertheless, I promised to clear out the vault for this event, so this is it. I got inspired by seeing the She-Hulk clips when the episode with Matty came out. It may or may not be noticeable. We're also working with the Nelson, Murdock & Page narrative. Enjoy!
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You are not made for white-veil occasions. 
While weddings, in their essence, symbolize unity while covering different facets of romantic beauty, they are also inherently stressful for nearly everyone involved in the proceedings. Over the years of adulthood, you’ve found that weddings tend to end in disaster when you attend—and you are not particularly fond of engaging in drama.
When your old college roommate sent you an invitation to her wedding in June, you considered responding with no. You’ve been close for a few years, but then you graduated, found separate careers, and then never talked again. You weren’t sure why she would send you an invitation until you called the number on the back of the card and you began catching up. She told you that she wanted to invite you because you were a vital part of her early twenties, and it reminded you that you are both adults and you have both grown beyond what you thought possible, so you couldn’t find it in yourself to tell her that you couldn’t make it to her wedding. Instead, you told her that you wouldn’t miss it for the world. That answer though seemed to have turned destiny against you. 
You were excited when you arrived at the chapel this morning, but as soon as your foot touched the holy ground, everything went wrong. Maybe it is because you’re an atheist and God hates you, or maybe Karma just really fucking loves toying with you. Either way, when your friend’s maid of honor—also one of the few people you hung out with during your wild college days—came up to you, looking pale and panicked, you knew that the curse you always bring to weddings was only continuing to wreak havoc. 
She said to you, “One of the girls got into a car accident on her way here. Don’t worry, she’s not dead, just a broken wrist, but that means we are one bridesmaid short. I need someone to step in before Janet finds out and cuts off my head for ruining her wedding day,” and she was deadly serious about it, too.
You knew that it was a mistake to come to this wedding, especially without a date or a plus-one to fall back on. 
You were so focused on marveling at the beautiful white and golden decorations living the aisle, fantasizing about the day you might be walking down one of those that you didn’t think anything could go wrong since everything had been going so right. You should have known better than to trust that treacherous feeling of excitement that you made sure to nurture before breakfast so you could enjoy the ceremony and the party afterward without making it dependent on the open bar—although that fact did help.
Instead of dreaming about free drinks though, you’re being squeezed into a satin green dress with a low cut in the front, and someone you don’t know is slathering burgundy lipstick onto your lips. They are purposely trying to turn you into a copy of all the other bridesmaids, and you hate it. You hate it so much you get the sudden urge to scratch your eyes out and tear the skin off your lips. 
Janet, the maid of honor, comes back up to you. She’s aged at least ten years since you last saw her when she pulled you away from the aisle. You feel for her. The entire weight of this wedding rests on her shoulders. 
She eyes you, checking your outfit, before giving you a curt nod. “Thank God, you’re hot,” she mutters. You’re not sure if you were supposed to hear it. 
“Thank you?” you answer awkwardly. 
“Alright.” She fixes the corners of your lipstick. “We need to pair you with a different guy than Miss I-Don’t-Know-How-To-Drive was supposed to walk down the aisle with. Your looks don’t match. You’ll get Kathy’s partner,” she says. “And we need to line up, like, now because shit is happening in five minutes, not a second later. We can’t give Bridezilla the time to kill us all.”
With a frown, you ask, “Is she aware at all of what’s happening?” 
Janet shakes her head. “No, and it’s better this way. Trust me.”
You stop questioning her. She knows what she’s doing. 
When she guides you outside to line up, you’re not sure what to expect. You don’t know the groom, and you don’t know his friends. You’re here on your own, and now you’re part of a bridal party that you are also barely familiar with, wearing a dress that you were forced into for the sake of aesthetics. You hate when something is reduced to aesthetics because beauty has many facets, and you would have walked down that aisle with anyone as long as you could get it over with. 
Until you see him. Strikingly dark hair in a perfectly cut tuxedo that underlines the muscles hiding underneath the fabric. His eyes are hidden behind round, red glasses that reflect the sunlight coming in through the already stained glass of the chapel’s windows. In his hands, he’s holding a white cane, leaning his entire weight on it as he waits. And he waits for none other than you. 
Janet paired you with the most beautiful man on this planet, you can’t deny that. The way he stands there, his sharp jawline on full display—he looks ethereal. Just looking at him makes you sweat, and you’re starting to panic. What if she made a mistake? You can’t do this. You can’t—
“Matt,” she says and shoves you beside him into the line of bridesmaids and groomsmen. 
Janet introduces you, and then she’s gone. She pushes you into the cold water, forcing you to learn how to swim. 
He tilts his head in your direction. “Hi,” he says. The sound of his voice resembles the purr of a black cat as it reverberates, but his grin reminds you of the Devil himself. 
Fuck. Me. 
You either did something very wrong to land here, or you did everything right. 
“Hi,” you stammer. One look at him, and the blood rushes to your cheeks. Your face is burning. 
He offers you his hand. “I’m Matt,” he says as if Janet didn’t already expose that to you.
Still, you take his hand. It’s the polite thing to do. “And I’m not supposed to be here.” Mentally, you curse yourself for being so stupid.
Matt chuckles. Even his laugh sounds bittersweet. Like dark chocolate. “I, uh, gathered as much.”
“I’m sorry,” you bite your lip, “I’m not—this is really weird. I don’t even know what to say.” You pray for the ground to open up and swallow you whole, maybe that will make it less embarrassing.
His features soften. There is no judgment. You can’t see his eyes, but there is a certain softness about him that throws you off guard, but you no longer feel like you’re drowning. “If it helps, I’m only here because I helped the groom graduate law school by writing his essays, and he feels like he owes me, so…I also don’t want to be here,” he says, and he reaches up to adjust his glasses. You get a small glimpse of his eyes. They’re hazel. Beautiful. He has an aura that draws you in; it’s not just his physical beauty that strikes you.
This man—this magnetic force of a man called Matt—is a stranger. He’s a man you were paired with to walk down the aisle even though you were never meant to be a bridesmaid in this wedding in the first place. So many things are happening to and around you at once, and you can feel the flames starting to burn and sizzle away at your skin. 
You should pull yourself together. You shouldn’t stare at him. You shouldn’t listen to your heart which is hammering against your ribcage. But the emotions are already running high and you can’t possibly focus on anything else. He’s like a lifeline to you.
And God, you want him to put those calloused hands on your skin and take you to bed. But that’s not something to think about in a place of God. On the day of someone else’s wedding. Except that you can’t think of anyone else, and his proximity isn’t making the situation any better for you.
Another blush threatens to take over your features. “Oh, you’re a lawyer?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he says. “I have a firm. Nelson, Murdock & Page.”
“Here in New York?”
“Hell’s Kitchen, yeah. Me and my associates just reopened our doors to the public after a rough year.”
“Oh, that’s...cool. I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you. And what do you do, if I may ask?”
His interest takes you off guard, but you don’t hesitate to answer his question. You tell him your profession, and how you met the bride, and he listens without another word. No man has ever paid you this much attention before.
Though Janet meant it when she said that you will have to start walking in exactly five minutes, not a second longer. She passed by everyone, handing out bouquets. Green with hints of red and gold. It fits the theme. They’re beautiful, but the flowers within the bouquet become a problem when she hands you your own set. 
“Janet,” you stop her from leaving. “I can’t take these.”
“The fuck you can’t,” she retorts. 
“Seriously, I can’t. I’m allergic to Jasmines. I’ll sneeze.”
She glares at you. “Then fucking hold it.”
There is no arguing with her, and she passes by you to continue putting everyone in their places. You stare down at the bouquet, your nose already starting to itch. The smell alone is enough to make you nauseous.
To your surprise, Matt reaches for the flowers. “May I?” he asks, but he has already grabbed a hold of them.
“Sure,” you answer, curious about where he’s going with this.
“Hold this.” He guides the top of his cane into your hand.
His fingers feel along the red ribbon. He takes a whiff. There are so many scents that would be overwhelming even to someone without heightened senses due to a lacking fifth one, so you’re even more surprised when he finds the Jasmines without a struggle. He traces the petals just to make sure, and he quickly pulls the flowers out of the bouquet, tightening the ribbon around the now smaller girth in the process.
Tossing them behind one of the pillars in the corridor, he hands them back to you. “Here,” he murmurs. “For you.”
Words elude you. 
“Are you allergic to anything else?” The question is valid, considering you’re still not making a move to take the bouquet from him. 
You exhale a shaky breath, reaching for the flowers, and answer without missing another beat, “Weddings.”
That elicits a giggle from him. The sound is enough to make your heart melt. Does he know what he’s doing to you?
Matt opens his mouth to respond, but the sound of heels clicking against the marble floors stops you both dead in your tracks.
Your entire body recoils when the bride’s voice rings out, echoing, “Who the fuck mismatched my bridesmaids?”
A hand rests on your bicep, and you don’t even have to look down to know that it is Matt’s. He’s the only one standing to your right, anyway. He squeezes as though to let you know that you won’t lose your head, but you’re not so sure now that your college roommate is glaring at you in a white dress that reminds you of a pastry, and her eyes are full of fury. He can’t see it, but he would cower in fear if he did.
Thankfully, Janet pulls her aside, explaining the situation to her. 
“She what?!” she screeches. “On my wedding day? Are you kidding me?”
“Yes, because car accidents respect timing when it comes to special occasions,” Janet counters.
You snort. Matt beside you digs his teeth into his bottom lip, but even he can’t hide his amusement.
“Oh, snap,” you mutter under your breath. 
“Shots have been fired,” he says.
“I think we’re witnessing a double homicide.”
“I’m not a very credible witness. I can only describe how it sounded, unfortunately.”
Your snort turns into a laugh. The bride’s head snaps around, and you go quiet. “Sorry. I’m sorry,” you choke out.
“If she decides to throw a punch at your pretty face,” Matt’s breath tickles your ear, “I can be your attorney and sue her ass.”
This time, you’re conscious enough to slap a hand in front of your mouth to stifle your reaction. “How do you know I’m pretty?” you whisper back between little giggles.
He shrugs with a smirk of his own. “I just know.”
He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, and you have no choice but to submit.
Janet manages to bring some calm back to her friend eventually, and then it’s showtime. Right on the second, it’s time for you to walk down the aisle, and you have never been happier about a strict schedule and someone adamant about keeping that schedule for the sake of all of your lives.
Your roommate has always been a very dominant personality, so you’re aware of the things she can do when she doesn’t get what she wants. 
An 80s pop ballad begins to play. You make sure to match your pace to everyone else but also make sure that you’re not running away from your partner.
You may have been a mismatched bridesmaid, but you can’t complain about the company. 
Against all odds, the service is beyond beautiful. It’s not often you get to stand so close when two people who seem to truly love each other make a vow to be there for each other for the rest of their lives. You can’t help but shed a tear. They complement each other perfectly. Is that ever in the cards for you? Will you ever be able to have what they have? Or will you always feel like you’re not worthy of this kind of unconditional love and endless devotion—of someone wanting to spend the rest of their life with you?
You look over at Matt. The hint of a cross necklace is starting to peek out underneath his dress shirt. Of course, he’s Catholic. 
He carries himself with such a grace that puts everyone else in this room to shame. Does he know that you’re staring at him? You hope not.
After the ceremony, you lose sight of Matt in the masses. He doesn’t owe you a goodbye, but you still feel a little disappointed when you return to the dressing room and finally peel the satin dress off of your very sweaty skin. 
At the party afterward, he’s still nowhere to be found. You give up. Not that you want to spend the evening with him anyway, but you kind of do. You drown your sorrows in a glass of vodka cranberry and a bowl of olives. They taste like rotten meat, but there are too many people by the buffet for your liking. The last thing you want to do is mingle and get asked stupid questions by people you don’t even know. So, you stay back, and you watch from afar as everyone is having the time of their lives not so far away from you, but far enough for you to breathe.
“And here I thought weddings were supposed to be a joyous occasion,” Matt pipes up beside you, and you twirl around in your chair to face him with wide eyes.
You didn’t expect to see him back here. “Hi!” you exclaim. “What’re you—I thought you left.”
“Nah,” he says. “I just had to take care of some things.”
“Oh, yeah? Like what?”
He smirks. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”
“Yes, that’s why I asked.”
Folding his cane, Matt lowers himself down on one of the chairs beside you and orders himself a beer with the bartender. “Let’s just say that I have an important court case coming up and I had to make a call.”
You take another sip from your drink. “That sounds a lot more exciting than my life, to be honest.”
“You are sulking at a wedding. Thinking about an ex?”
“More like life in general.”
“Ah, yes, the eternal fear of dying alone.” He raises his bottle to yours. “I’ll drink to that.”
A laugh escapes you. “That was cynical,” you say.
“And you’re not?”
He beats you at your own damn game, and he finally gets that smile he has been vying for. 
“Are you smiling?” his voice is barely above a whisper. 
Your tongue darts out to wet your lips. “Maybe.” But the smile is audible in your voice, giving you away.
Matt smirks, nodding his head. “Good girl.” 
The sharp vodka runs down the wrong pipe. You cough. Did he just—
He did.
He pats your back, and his hand lingers a lot longer than it should. He looks so smug. Pleased with himself. That part of him is stupidly attractive to you, even though you would usually hate such cockiness in any other man. But Matt isn’t like any other man.
You apologize for your reaction, but he should be the one apologizing to you for throwing you off your game. What is he doing? You can’t read him. You wish you could because that would make this so much easier, but that’s probably the point. He wants to tease you. He wants to mess with your head. He’s a dick. A fucking attractive dick that could tell you to do just about anything and you in your flustered state would go along with it without hesitations. That’s the kind of control he has over you, and you just met. It feels like a twisted form of destiny, but you can’t quite believe it. Yet.
“Do you always do that?” you dare to ask.
He frowns. “Do what?”
“Flirt with women who were forced to be bridesmaids even though they were only supposed to be guests?”
A playful smirk plays on his lips.  
“It’s been known to happen,” says Matt.
You poke your tongue against the soft tissue of your cheek. “Cheeky,” you murmur.
“That’s also been known to happen.”
“What, being cheeky with—”
“—with women who were forced to be bridesmaids even though they were only supposed to be guests? Yes.” He’s catching on quickly.
You laugh and nod. “Yeah, that.”
“I do have to say though,” he adds, and for a second you think he might ruin the joke instead of playing it out further, but Matt is full of surprises, “Out of all the mismatched bridesmaids I’ve met in my thirty-something years of, um, living, you’re my favorite so far.”
With your hand, you start fanning your face rather dramatically. “I feel honored,” you say. 
Again, he chuckles. “You should be.”
“Why, because you’re so irresistible?”
“I was going to say that I don’t like a lot of people because, you know, they’re dicks, but that works too.”
“Wow.” You take another sip. The liquor burns its way down your sore esophagus. “You have balls, man.”
“Is that a problem?” he counters with a question.
The answer comes naturally. “No,” you say. “I like it.”
“Good.” Hearing you clink the ice cubes against your empty glass by swirling it around, Matt concludes that you need a refill. “Can I get you another drink?” he asks.
The question sounds so innocent, but the look on his face renders you speechless. His hand inches dangerously close to yours on the counter, his knee brushing yours, and the heat shoots straight to your neglected cunt. 
Fuck this.
“You could do that, or we could skip that part and just…you know.”
One brush of your hand against his thigh, that’s all it takes for him to know. 
Pushing you through the door to his apartment a few minutes later, his lips are on you. The door falls shut with a loud bang, and he presses you against the wall of his hallway. 
His lips feel like a silky cloud of lewdness. The way he kisses you is utterly erotic. Your lips part in a delicious moan that he swallows with a grunt of his own. He swallows it all, shoving his tongue into the tight confines of your mouth, and exploring every inch he can reach. He tastes you. He consumes you. 
His hands desperately search for an ounce of bare skin. He’s tugging at your clothes, sliding and tearing them aside. Once his fingers finally brush over the bare skin of your stomach, he melts. 
You tangle your fingers in his hair, pulling him impossibly closer. Your leg hooks around his waist. You can’t wait. He has ignited a fire within you that no one has been able to light before. He’s touching you with a precision that puts your former lovers to shame. He’s paying attention to your every breath and heartbeat, and with every touch, he asks, “May I?” 
You don’t even make it to the bedroom. Once he has successfully removed the bottom half of your clothes, he falls to his knees. He is a sight to behold. The disarray of colors that shines into his apartment illuminates his face, bathing it in a selection of hues that bring out his best features. 
Matt has yet to take off his glasses, and you take the opportunity to tear them away from his face. You’re gentle though. You ask him, “May I?” mirror the question he has been asking you throughout the night, and after a thick swallow, he nods.
You caress his cheek as you remove his glasses, and when you finally see his hazel eyes in all of their glory, you have to bow down to capture his lips in a soft kiss. 
“You’re beautiful,” you whisper. “So fucking beautiful, Matt.”
He whimpers. You could have sworn to have imagined it, but when you stroke his cheek with such a gentleness it almost makes him recoil in anguish, you know that you didn’t imagine the sound from his lips. You kiss it away. You kiss all of his insecurities away. You want him to feel as good as he is making you feel. You don’t know him, but you want to get to know him, and if he’s ready to surrender himself to you, you are more than ready to do the same for him. He can feel that with every brush of your fingertips and every kiss you deliver to his plump lips that taste like heaven and hell in itself.
Your words don’t leave him cold. His cock is aching in his pants—you take note of his impressionable size, which only makes you more excited for what’s to come—but he refuses to take it out. Not until you’re fully satisfied. To be honest, you could come just from staring at him on his knees in front of you, looking like he would lay the world to your feet and kill everyone who has ever dared to hurt you, but that is not enough for him. 
He needs the experience. Feeling your skin, tasting you, and breathing in all facets of your natural scent mixed with the artificial one from your shampoo. He can’t get enough of it. Of you. Of everything about and within you. He’s as attracted to your body as he is consumed by your soul. You’ve got him in a deadlock, but he would never complain about that.
You gasp when Matt grabs your thigh and throws it over his shoulder. Your panties are gone within seconds, torn on the floor somewhere. You’re completely bare to him. 
You want to warn him that you didn’t shave, but he doesn’t care. 
Before you know it, he has flattened his tongue against your pussy, and he licks a long stripe from your hole to your clit. 
“Fuck!” you cry out, reaching for support on the wall behind you.
He flicks the sensitive bundle of nerves with the tip of his tongue, testing the waters before he sucks it into his mouth. 
His grip on your thigh becomes bruising. Matt eats you out like he has been starving for years and you are his first and last meal. He sucks on your clit, and he fucks you with his tongue. Your pussy is the altar he worships at. Your arousal is his holy water. He dives deeper and deeper into the wetness between your thighs, and he moans loudly when you pull at his hair.
“Fuck, Matt–” You’re clawing at whatever you can find. It feels so good. You’re higher than you have ever been.
The sound of his mouth working your slick folds toward eternal bliss is obscene and utterly sinful. His stubble scratches against your inner thighs. The pain grounds you in the here and now, making you focus on the tidal wave that is about to crash into you and tear you to shreds. 
You can’t even warn him before your orgasm takes over, and it takes you into another dimension. You come with a shout of his name. It’s nothing short of explosive. The orgasm drags on through his mouth on your clit, relentlessly sucking until the nerves jump, and you’re begging him to stop. 
His face glistens. With every kiss up your body, Matt marks you. By the time he has reached your quivering lips, he still tastes like you.
“You did so well,” he whispers. “Such a good girl for me.”
You exhale. Without his shoulders to hold onto, you would probably lose your footing. “You’re crazy,” is all you can say. 
He smirks. “In a good way, I hope.”
“Yes. Fuck.”
“Regret coming home with me?”
“Absolutely not.”
That’s all he needed to hear. He lifts you with ease. “Then I’m going to make it worth your while.”
And when your back hits the soft mattress and silk sheets of his bed, you don’t doubt that he is going to make good on his promise. 
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Matt Murdock Smut Tag List: @acharliecoxedfan @gpenguin666 @linamarr @mcugeekposts @itwasthereaminuteago @norestfortheshelbywicked @yarrystyleeza @littlenerdyravenclaw @etanordoesbullsh1t @thychuvaluswife @harleycao @schneeflocky @imjustcal @pipsqueakkitten @merlinbtch @sya-skies @amberritonicole @ravenclaw617 @pigeonmama
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hadesrise · 1 year
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meet the addams.
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previous part.
summary ➳ the bat family meets the addams family
pairings ➳ jason todd x addams!male reader
warnings ➳ fluff, strong language, pet names, hesitant bruce, weapons, typical addams family behavior ( homicide, dark humor, weird, etc ), jason and reader being a simp for each other, the addams being wholesome as always, implied reader’s atheism (i think the entire addams are atheist tbh), mention of torture
author’s note ➳ wow, hades updated !! shocking, i know. i'm sorry for the long hiatus and inactive, i wasn't okay and it was difficult for me to write when my mind was in such a messed up state. mental health can be a bitch, you know :D i'm trying to recover, and went back on writing again. hope this was a good comeback.
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Letting his family meet you hadn’t crossed Jason’s mind at all until that very day when his annoying older brother caught him by the ice cream truck buying a dark chocolate and a mint chocolate flavored ice cream.
Dick was on officer duty patrol in undercover civilian clothes that afternoon, walking around the streets of Gotham in hopes of catching some shady business going around the city or just someone doing a simple act that goes against the law, being a good police officer that he is. Though, instead of seeing criminals like he assumed he would, his most rebellious little brother dressed in bad boy-ish clothes as usual buying ice creams caught his eyes.
He was supposed to walk right past since there really is no reason to approach Jason, but seeing him sit down next to a mysterious, old fashioned, well-dressed, expensive looking guy in all black with sunglasses resting on the bridge of his nose and give the dark chocolate flavored ice cream to? Now, Dick certainly can’t walk past without knowing about you because he’s a little shit who just can’t help but stuck his nose into his brother’s business. That and, well, he also found you really cool. There’s not a thing in this world that can stop Dick Grayson from wanting to befriend someone who seems cooler than the Dark Knight himself.
So, in all his glory, Dick approached Jason with his usual charming smile dancing across his lips.
“Oh, god...” Jason groaned in annoyance as soon as he spotted the grinning male, rolling his eyes. Peace seems to never be an option whenever he takes you around the city for simple walks.
“Jason, are you uttering your all father’s name religiously or simply as an expression as of the moment?” Your elegant yet soothing, deep voice speaks out a sentence composed of well thought words and syllables, innocent curiosity behind the gentle tone.
Dick takes a mental note that your way of speaking sounded similar to the way humanity used to speak centuries ago, when everything was still old-fashioned and technologies hardly ever existed. It made him feel like you came from the past, as if he was witnessing the existence of a time traveler. Stopping in front of you two, he gives you a charming grin as soon as your eyes catches his. A hint of curiosity and wonder flashed within them behind the dark shades of your sunglasses before they were gone in an instant, replaced by a questioning look instead.
“May I help you?” You simply asked, but Dick doesn’t fail to notice the sudden drop in your previously soft tone and the piercing, calculated gaze holding wariness as well as subtle suspicion.
“Sorry, I’m Dick Grayson. I was curious about the person Jay’s hanging out with, I couldn’t help myself but approach.” He elaborates himself while trying his best to ensure he wasn’t a threat through body language, relaxing his figure. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out a little.”
Recognition flashed in your face, brows raising only barely to show subtle surprise, “Jason’s older brother. The name’s (Y/n) Addams. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.” You smiled, and even something just as simple as that looked graceful in Dick’s eyes.
Somewhat unsurprisingly, you were enchanting to look at as everything you do or say was captivating. How Jason managed to pull you was beyond him.
“Nice to meet you too,” He says back with a soft smile.
Even though his little brother hasn’t introduced you yet to their family, at least you seemed to know about them. Hopefully, nothing unpleasant has been said, but Dick doubts Jason would hide his trauma from you, considering how he was leaning to your side now subconsciously, as if being away from you will bring back awful memories.
He was worried about his practically traumatized-for-life little brother living alone, but it appears he didn’t have to worry at all.
“What are you doing here, Dick?” Jason more of grumbled, annoyed that your date has been interrupted. Almost automatically, one of your hands move to settle itself on his thigh to give it a gentle and soothing rub to ease his growing annoyance, while the other held your dark chocolate ice cream that you had begun eating with clean manners. He relaxed in an instant after feeling your touch.
“I think you should introduce (Y/n) to our family, Jay.” Dick suggests with enthusiasm that didn’t match Jason’s, not really answering his question. “They would want to know who you’re going out with. We can all have a dinner together!” There was excitement shining in his eyes as he shrugged his shoulders, trying to remain nonchalant despite his body language practically screaming excited.
Your lover groans, “Why the hell do they have to know who I’m going out with?”
Amusement crosses your face as you smirked, licking off the small bits of ice cream that got on your lips. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that. I’m certain my family will be more than happy to meet them.” Jason gives you a look, to which you responded with an innocent smile. “Oh, mon amour. What could go wrong? I have been looking forward to meet your family, but you’ve never considered to bring me there. It’s a little concerning how you seem too hesitant to let them meet me.” You pout, feigning sadness.
Your lover widens his eyes, panic appearing in them as he gripped your hand that was on his thigh after realizing what you were implying. “That’s not what it looks like, babe! I just don’t want you to meet them ‘cause they can be a bit unbearable. Bruce is the worst person you could ever meet,” He scrunched his nose. “It’s not you I don’t want them to meet, it’s them I don’t want you to meet. There’s a difference. You’re never the problem.”
You chuckled at his quick attempt of elaboration.
Jason feels his cheeks redden at how deeply elegant and amazing your laugh sounded; it never fails to make his heart go haywire even after all this time. You manage to effortlessly make him fall in love with you deeper and deeper every day without even meaning to.
“Worry not, darling. I was just teasing you. I’m far from upset.” Reassuring him, your hand gently cups his cheek to rub the skin comfortingly. “Let me meet them once you’ve gotten rid of your doubts completely, my Jason. It isn’t necessary to rush.” You then let go of his face to push some of his hair away from his forehead before leaning back to continue eating the ice cream.
Dick witnessed a starstruck smile spread across Jason’s lips in an instant, the way his expression was so soft when looking at you, how his emerald eyes that usually held pent-up rage towards the world sparks brightly in love and adoration.
Huh. He’s never seen his brother this happy and content.
Maybe you are Jason’s one true love.
“Dick,” Jason calls out after watching you eat your ice cream with a barely hidden happiness. You looked happy to meet one of his family even though you haven’t said anything, and he was willing to throw away his pride if it meant making you happy.
“Hm?” Dick hummed, smiling when Jason glanced at you and looked back at him.
“Tell the others.”
That was all he needed to let out the excitement he was holding in, beaming at you two. “Right away, little bird!” He doesn’t waste a time to pull his phone out of his pocket, “I’m going then. It was nice meeting you, (Y/n). I’ll text you when!” He waved his hand and walked away, already dialling Bruce’s number.
Jason watched him go incredulously. “Did he just come here to convince me to introduce you?”
You chuckle under your breath, “Perhaps. Your brother has sorted out his priorities well.” However, a frown appears on your lips when you turned to Jason. “Do you genuinely feel comfortable letting my family meet them? We could always cancel, mon amour. There are many other fascinating activities we can bother ourselves with.”
Jason felt his heart swell at your gentle tone and concerned eyes, making him feel loved in many different ways. You don’t even realize that you’re slowly healing his troubled heart with simple things like this. He already knows you love him more than the Guillotine itself (which is a really big deal since nothing except him could ever beat your love for it) as you’ve always told him before, but the way you treat him, talk to him, and look at him just adds so much weight on your words. You don’t just tell him you love him — you show it in the most perfect, best, casual ways.
Intertwining his hand with yours, he brought it up to rest on his chest, hiding how overwhelmed he was with the love for you. “Like what, sweetheart?” Faint amusement laced his tone as he already knew the answer.
“Like slicing or shooting criminals, of course.” You winked before bringing your intertwined hands to press a kiss on his knuckles.
Jason laughs, and you admired the way he threw his head back to let the sound escape. “Knew you would say that!” He wheezed, before calming down to kiss your knuckles just like you did to his. “But it’s really fine, (Y/n). I want to introduce you and your family to mine.” His expression then turns apologetic, “ ‘m sorry if it seemed like I was keeping you in the shadows.”
You shake your head and leaned in to capture his lips in a peck, a gesture to let him know you didn’t mind. “If you were keeping me in the shadows, we wouldn’t be having a date out in the open where any of your family can see me. Don’t be apologetic, chéri. I’m nowhere near upset.”
Letting a smile break out, Jason leans in to kiss you more longer this time before pulling away.
Just like that, you both sat on the bench and ate ice creams in comfortable silence, holding each other’s hand.
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Dick, Tim, Damian, Barbara, Cassandra and Stephanie all stood in front of the Wayne Manor with barely contained excitement, waiting for the infamous Addams family and Jason to show up.
Dick was mainly looking forward for his family to see the side of Jason no one had ever seen before, Tim was occasionally standing on his tiptoes to see if any car was nearing, and Damian was keeping himself still but his body practically trembled with excitement due to being a fan of your vigilante persona for a long time. Barbara had a smile on her face with a hint of nervousness, while Cassandra and Stephanie talked to each other to calm their nerves.
Even without research, the Addams family was quite the celebrity family in Gotham because of their richness that seemed to tie with Bruce Wayne, but moreover, they were rather infamous for being “weird” and gothic as those experts for minding businesses that aren’t their own paparazzi claimed. The Wayne family didn’t really need to dive into the deepest parts of internet in their computer; one newspaper — with the front cover of five people with gothic outfits standing in front of the big ass almost-castle-house — dedicated entirely to the weird family already helped.
Only thing they needed to research about was you, and surprisingly, it wasn’t hard to find information about your vigilantism — which is how all of them realized not only was Jason dating the person Damian idolizes more than his own father, but also the one who brutally tortured and straight-up dumped Joker into Arkham Asylum. Needless to say, it kinda made sense to them that Jason’s dating you, though Bruce wasn’t pleased.
The gates being opened to a black limousine caught their attention, making Cass and Steph break their conversation to watch the car drive closer before eventually stopping in front of them. A butler, who took them by surprise due to his seemingly inhuman looks similar to the Frankenstein monster, got out to open the door.
A man wearing a black suit with white stripes was the first to come out of the limousine as he smiles cheerfully at them, helping his wife to step out. Cassandra’s jaw dropped at the beautiful woman with black, long and silky hair who gives them an enchanting, almost hypnotizing smile.
Next to step out were a boy wearing black and white striped shirt and a girl who had her hair braided on two sides. The boy gave them an all too adorable friendly smile, but his sister only held a blank face as she observed each of the Wayne members. Finally, Jason got out together with you, all of them noticing your intertwined hands.
Your lover raised his brows, “Why are you all here?”
“Well, Bruce said we didn’t have to, but we wanted to welcome you here.” Dick shrugged, nodding at you. “Good to see you again, (Y/n).”
“Likewise, Dick.” You smile. “Greetings, ladies, gentlemen. The name’s (Y/n). This are my parents Gomez and Morticia,” Your parents greet them with a nod and friendly smile. “And my siblings Wednesday and Pugsley.” Pugsley waves his hand, enthusiastic to meet Jason’s family, while Wednesday crosses her arms above her chest and simply nods without a word.
Dick was grinning at your siblings because of their adorableness, not even the slightest bit bothered by Wednesday’s lack of emotion. Cassandra and Tim were gawking at Gomez and Morticia, how they seem so perfect and gorgeous, not only each on their own but together as well. Stephanie and Barbara beamed at you while Damian observed Wednesday and Pugsley, but there wasn’t any hint of malice or bad intention in his eyes — just curiosity. The Addams family sure are good looking individuals.
“Uh — hi,” Tim was the first to speak out of the Wayne’s, awkwardly waving his hand because of the fact he felt as if the Addams were ethereal beings due to their beauty. “You... You all look beautiful. I’m surprised.”
Wednesday’s brows raised as you tilted your head slightly to the side, looking confused. Morticia and Gomez exchanges a glance from not knowing what to say, while Pugsley smiled nicely at Tim despite the truth of being called beautiful feels like an insult. Yours and your family’s reaction immediately worried the Wayne children; none of you seemed pleased or happy with the compliment Tim gave, in fact, you kind of looked offended.
Seeing his siblings getting worried that they might’ve done something wrong, Jason clears his throat to catch everyone’s attention and successfully did so. “What he means is you all look deadly and loathsome. He wasn’t trying to offend you in any way, he just isn’t used to our ways of compliment.” He elaborated with a genuine look, and his siblings looked taken aback that he seemed really calm and gentle with you and your family. Jason have always had anger issues; his rage was explosive everywhere he goes and the main victims of it were criminals, but sometimes it was directed entirely at Bruce because of their unpleasant history.
He was never known as a calm person even in the family. Always seemed on edge, like a walking bomb that’s ticking every second, unknown by people how to stop it from exploding so suddenly. However, as Jason stands with you holding your hand tightly, his entire demeanor was almost completely different from what his family was used to. He was as calm as a wind that caresses the Mother Nature so softly in fear of disturbing her and as gentle as anyone who holds a little kitten in their hands — there was no ticking time bomb, just a soft man caring and pouring his heart and love out to his awesome lover. Jason looked comfortable around you and your family, extremely to the point that he hadn’t noticed practically calling himself an Addams. It made his siblings’ hearts swell with happiness.
“Oh,” Morticia sighed in relief, and even just that felt and looked so heavenly. “We’re sorry, my dear. We weren’t aware of that. I was afraid you found us tolerable.”
Tim chuckles, not really knowing what to say. He was visibly confused, though from what he was able to pick up on, negative comments seems to be taken as positive ones in your family. While most of them were confused just like Tim, Damian quickly understood how compliments worked within the Addams and smirked fondly.
Dick finally gathers his thoughts to clear his throat, “Well, let’s go in now, shall we?”
As your family nodded in sync, you turn to Jason while fixing your collar with the empty hand. “Love, do I look menacing? I have to look presentable when meeting your father. I despise looking good.” You stated, checking your outfit and trying to fix where you found unpresentable.
It’s rare to see you fidgeting and uneasy, making Jason smile. He knew you lose your composure only when it comes to him and it made him feel so loved, appreciated, and important. “You always look menacing, babe. Could scare off any children that passes by.” He compliments, bringing up your intertwined hands and kissing the back of yours.
The corner of your lips twitched up, squeezing his hand back as amusement and adoration shows themselves on your expression. “That’s very lovely. This is why I loathe you.”
The flirting between you and Jason was so natural that even Damian wasn’t affected by it — he’s mostly disgusted and cringed out when people flirt in front of him, but for some reason, Jason flirting with you didn’t bother him at all. Perhaps, because it isn’t a modern type of flirting where couples show disgusting amount of PDA or say things halfheartedly just to make their partner feel good, but rather, it’s one that uses old-fashioned yet romantic language which truthfully comes from the heart. You and Jason flirt with respect for each other, where neither of you objectify nor sexualize the other.
There was a clear unspoken understanding between you, which was shown in just this little flirtatious moment. The way you show your love for each other might be old-fashioned and out of ordinary in this modern day, but it’s honestly more romantic than any of the modernized ones.
“You two always flirt,” Wednesday spoke as she swiftly turned around to meet yours and Jason’s eyes. “It would’ve been more perfect if you were holding a human heart and giving it to each other.”
Barbara, Cassandra, and Stephanie all widened their eyes at her opinion — is she telling you to kill someone, take their heart out, and give it to each other to show your love? That wouldn’t be a romance anymore; it’ll be a dark romance.
However, you only shrugged your shoulders while Jason chuckled in amusement, as if that comment was as normal as seeing trees and nature everywhere. Neither of you were even concerned with what Wednesday said. “There’s precisely a possibility of that occurring, though it’s not yet now.” You responded calmly, as expressionless as Wednesday but slight amusement littered your tone.
The others tensed at your statement with the exception of Damian, who only smirked in pride, as they all remember the news of Joker getting dumped into Arkham Asylum by a vigilante that isn’t Batman. Like mentioned before, Joker was in a really bad shape when he was quite literally thrown into the Asylum, very visible signs of torture coating his body everywhere.
When Bruce visited, it was worse than how the media portrayed it to be. Tongue cut off, fingers broken and two missing, heavily concussed, several cuts along his face and body, and bruises covering most of his body parts. Worst of it all was that Joker didn’t seem like himself anymore; he does laugh — never had been a time when Joker didn’t laugh — but it wasn’t his typical laughter. All the mockery, self-confidence and cockiness weren’t there. Instead, fear and paranoia filled the laughter Bruce was so used to hearing. It was so uncharacteristic and very unlikely of Joker.
He’s finally put behind bars for good, but how the fuck can a vigilante absolutely destroy the Joker? He was indestructible yet you managed to break him so bad that his insanity got flooded with immense fear rather than the urge to kill everyone and everybody for no reason.
And as they stand in front of you now, none of them can even imagine how such a gentleman like you could’ve broke him completely. You seem so respectful, sweet, gentleman, and lovely that it’s almost impossible to believe you were the one who did it. But everyone should always expect the unexpected, right?
“Dick,” Jason’s voice snaps the oldest boy out of his own thoughts as he nods his head towards the door. “Let’s go in.”
The Grayson only hummed, turning around to open the door and gesture inside with his other hand, bowing a little to show respect. Morticia and Gomez smiled pleasantly and brightly, touched by his manners as they enter. Wednesday followed next with a usual expressionless face, and Pugsley said “thank you” first before entering, then Jason pulled you along with him at last. The door closed behind Damian who was the last to enter.
“Welcome,” Bruce immediately greeted as soon as all of your eyes met his, and your parents doesn’t hesitate to smile respectfully and kindly at him.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Wayne.” Gomez steps forward with his hand extended to shake Bruce’s hand before gesturing to his wife standing beside him. “She’s my wife Morticia and these are my children. Perhaps, you already know about (Y/n)?”
Bruce’s unreadable gaze shift from your father to you, attempting to figure out your characteristics by just looking. However, despite the nervousness you’re feeling, you didn’t fail to compose yourself and appeal confident with the usual emotionless expression on your face. Your gaze sparkling darkly under the light made him feel uneasy somehow, as if you knew all of his dirty little secrets and his entire characteristics as well as personality and attitude without analyzing that much.
Truth be told, you heard Bruce’s attitude from Jason when he opened himself up to you. Your Beloved was extremely traumatized by what happened with Joker that it affected the way he saw the world; it should’ve been that way too with Bruce because he’s Jason’s adoptive father — yet what really happened was the complete opposite.
Bruce may not have had an ill intent of dismissing or ignoring what happened to Jason, but to continue living like Joker didn’t kill his second son made him unlikable on your list. You’re a very respectful person as Gomez and Morticia didn’t raise you to be an awful entity, and you would never want to go against your lover’s adoptive father — although, that does not mean you accept his morals.
Hiding the unsettled feeling building up in his stomach, Bruce attempts to smile at you and shake your hand. “So you’re (Y/n). I’ve only ever heard once about you.”
Only the corner of your lips twitched, a barely formed smile appearing as you shake his hand, eyes still piercing through him like a dagger. “And I’ve heard a lot of... things about you, Mr. Wayne.” The calculative tone in your voice set an alarm within Bruce’s head and he would’ve pulled his hand away from your grasp if it wasn’t for his conscious mind forcing himself to calm down. “Be not afraid — You’ll see no judgement here.” You gave him a pointed look.
Jason quickly goes behind you and wraps an arm around your waist, the soft look on him being noticed by everyone present in the room. “Babe, let’s have dinner first. You’ll absolutely love Alfred’s cooking. They’re hella tasty.” He compliments, winking at Alfred who stood at the side. Alfred smiled with gratitude.
Bruce notices the way a small bit of light shine on your dead-like eyes as soon as you looked at Jason. “Well then, may we?” You shift your soft gaze from Jason to Bruce as you tilt your head slightly to the side.
From then on, the peaceful dinner began with mainly your parents and Bruce sharing thoughts about their own children while the others watch with a smile as Damian starts a conversation with you, the one he idolizes the most. It’s surprising to see Damian being really talkative — for the first time ever, he was being an actual child, asking you questions after questions with his eyes sparkling in joy. Not wanting to ruin this seemingly precious moment for Damian, everyone just decided to listen and chime in only once in a while when they feel like it. You were extremely patient with Damian the entire time he was bombarding you with questions, answering all of them without getting annoyed.
Jason felt relieved to witness the dinner going smoothly.
Truth be told, he was secretly worried about it turning into a disaster due to your vigilantism — Jason knew how Bruce felt about you after realizing you were the unnamed vigilante that nearly killed the Joker, and he thought Bruce would bring it up right away soon as dinner started. Luckily, he didn’t. It made Jason sigh in relief and relax on his seat, smiling as he watched you talk with his siblings.
However, perhaps it was too soon.
“(Y/n), how long have you been a vigilante?”
Jason immediately froze at Bruce’s question. The chit-chatting within the dining hall quickly falls into silence as everyone, too, froze — except the Addams family, who were still eating calmly and quietly, unbothered.
You first swallowed the food you were chewing before wiping your mouth elegantly with a napkin and not even hesitating to meet Bruce’s piercing eyes. “Since I was a child, Mr. Wayne.” You answered simply.
Bruce leans on the table, taking it slow. “Why did you become one?”
You felt Jason squeezing your hand under the table, as if to say you don’t have to answer everything. Though, you still did. “One of our ancestors was a vigilante, although he was hanged alongside his wife’s burning body when a rumour spread that she was a witch. He’s quite the legend within our family, you see.” Dick, Stephanie and Barbara’s jaws dropped. “I could say I was inspired by him. Although the sole purpose of my vigilantism is to bring justice to those who were rejected, neglected, and ignored by our unpleasantly ridiculous, worthless justice system.”
Feeling nervousness radiate off of Jason from how he squeezed your hand even more strongly, you gently hold and knead his hand to give him relaxation. After he stopped squeezing and slightly calmed down, you readjusted his hand so your and his fingers would intertwine with each other. You could feel him staring, but you never avoided eye contact with Bruce.
“To bring justice...” The Billionaire trails off meaningfully, as if it was something he wasn’t expecting to hear from you. “Was that your way of bringing justice?” The sharpness in his tone clearly gave everyone an idea of what he’s talking about.
However, despite the tension thickening and Bruce’s eyes narrowing in judgment, you kept your composure with an expressionless face, nerves surprisingly as calm as water flows. There wasn’t anything you were feeling at the moment, just the patience you need to deal with Jason’s shallow-minded father.
“I’m most definitely certain yours and my understanding of justice varies.” You immediately responded without missing a beat. Bruce’s eyes pierced through you, but your (e/c) eyes were much worse. It was reading him thoroughly, looking into his soul, his mind, feeling as if you knew everything.
“Though, I must admit for everyone’s knowledge, just so no one is left unaware — I tortured Joker not to seek justice for my lover, but to feed my vengeance and urge to revenge.” Your dark eyes glinted in amusement under the lights as the confession slips from your mouth with no restraints, like you’re just talking about nonchalant things. That’s not the only thing that made a cold shiver run down everyone’s spine; it was also the way your supposedly expressionless face completely shifted for the first time only to form a dark, prideful, egotistical look, accompanied by a smirk which obviously stated you weren’t regretful.
Now, there’s no way Bruce would take it lightly.
Sensing the events had turned out more worrisome, Jason tries to tug on your intertwined hands. “(Y/n), sweetheart, we should—”
Your cold gaze avert towards him, and it softened only a bit. “Apologies for interrupting you, my love, but leaving our dinner without finishing them would be disrespect to the person who cooked them for us.” You placed a gentle kiss on the back of Jason’s hand to assure him. “Worry not so much. Your father and I are only getting to know one another.”
As soon as your cold and piercing eyes returned to him, Bruce immediately feels an unsettling feeling in his gut as his heartbeat quickens. He could see it’s easy for you to deal with him or this kind of confrontation — the dangerous thing he noticed about you is that you never lose composure and patience regardless if the situation at hand benefits you or not. The only time you’ve probably ever lost your collectedness was with Joker, whom you actually had every right to get absolutely livid at. You love Jason more than words could ever tell, Bruce can easily see that, but your actions not lining up with his morals made it difficult for him to accept you willingly.
While the Addams simply minded their own business by continuing to eat, the others couldn’t find it in themselves to act like there was no tension rising in the air. They knew this confrontation was coming, but witnessing it unfold before their own eyes isn’t easy. Most of them had to swallow the lump that formed in their throat, with Damian being the only one who isn’t nervous in the slightest.
“Mr. Wayne, I have a deep understanding of your morals and the regulations you’ve set in this home... how none of your family is allowed to kill criminals.” You stated with a smile that was barely visible, though respectful nonetheless. However, it instantly vanishes. “But I must remind you one thing — just because you believe your morals are correct does not make it righteous in any way.”
That certainly struck a core in Bruce.
“We, humans, are incapable of finding the correct morals that all of humanity would agree on. You may believe your morals are absolute and there could be a wonderful soul who has developed the same belief as you, but it would never be everyone.” Your hand gracefully gestures to the people in the dining room to emphasize your point before it comes to rest on the table as you intertwine it with your other hand. “You see, humans are not humans without distinctive differences, and pushing your own standards on others likely causes more harm than it should help put them in control.”
The way you’ve said every word with such grace and elegance was nothing but fascinating as everyone found themselves suddenly voiceless. Your every gesture and movement showed an exquisite manner no other human beings were blessed with, alongside your use of sophisticated language that silently told your high level of intelligence. Other than that, Bruce was speechless from how much your words contained truth and wisdom only a philosopher has. He had never seen nor met someone so wise as you.
Perhaps, that’s why you’re so intimidating — every bit of your intelligence and attitude is your very own power no one else could ever have.
Taking a deep breath, Bruce clears his throat to find his voice and meets your eyes. “Are you implying I should accept how different yours and my morals are?”
“Precisely,” You answered without hesitation, sipping the wine Jason had poured for you when the dinner started. “My morality is concerned with the victims, not the perpetrators nor myself. Your morality is concerned with your inability to control your murderous urges when committed.” Bruce inhales sharply, making your eyes glint since he proved you right.
Gomez and Morticia smile to themselves as they felt proud of how you’re always able to point out things others usually don’t or can’t. Despite your brutal honesty, there is clearly respect within the way you speak to Bruce, which is why neither of them stopped you from defending and proving yourself. Helping you was not in their options; they knew you can handle yourself perfectly fine with the number of times you’ve put people in their place physically or verbally.
“(Y/n), baby... It’s okay,” Jason quietly attempts to stop you, knowing those words were intentionally spoken to strike a nerve in his non-biological father.
He knew how your blood boiled when you found out Bruce didn’t kill the Joker because of his ridiculous morality. He can still remember the way your eyes always darkened at even the slightest mention of Batman or Bruce Wayne. It took two years for you to overcome your wrath on the billionaire before you went after the Joker.
Before you could respond to your lover, Bruce caught your attention again with a simple question — “Why did you do it?”
You look back at him, seeing him staring at you and waiting for an answer. The corner of your lips lifted. “Well, wouldn’t we do anything for love?” Bruce's brows raised at the warm look on your face, not knowing your face was capable of making such expression. “No one hurts my soul and live freely without heavy consequences.” You shrugged, looking heavily smug.
Wednesday scoffed, “You should’ve just put a curse on him. It would have saved you all the trouble and exhaustion.” She looked at you as if what you did was the most incorrect thing in the world.
“No, should’ve electrocuted him!” Said Pugsley with a grin. “It didn’t make me insane when Wednesday did it to me, but it could break his mind.” Everyone’s face shifted into a look of shock at the sudden revelation.
“Now now, children.” Morticia interrupts, “What (Y/n) does to his enemies should be decided by him and him only. You don’t decide for (Y/n).”
“Well, Joker hurt Jason and he’s our brother. Nobody hurts my brothers and lives.” Wednesday responded immediately with empty eyes seeking vengeance, stabbing the steak with a fork and making Dick, Tim and Stephanie flinch.
You threw a knife at her with a single flick of your wrist, just narrowly missing her face, stabbing the wall behind her. She doesn’t flinch and instead gives you a look, which you ignore and reach for another knife to cut your steak with. “Manners, Wednesday. If you wish to stab something, search for someone that would be worthy of it, not a supper.”
“You missed on purpose,” Wednesday complains, annoyed.
You sarcastically smile, “Perhaps, I wouldn’t intentionally miss again if you’re respectful towards a supper.”
She glared, “Miss again and I’ll dump you in a paint full of pastels.”
You just rolled your eyes at her tactics while Jason bursts into laughter, knowing how much you and your family hate pastels. To the Addams, pastels and joyful people are the most insufferable matters in the world. There’s nothing you all hate more than that.
His father and brothers couldn’t believe what happened in front of them. None of the Addams, even Jason, cared that you just threw a knife at Wednesday. In fact, your parents were far from concerned as they only watched with warm smiles on their faces, because truthfully that was just you and Wednesday bickering. It’s nothing serious although others might disagree.
“Apologies for our children, Mr. Wayne.” Morticia says casually after Wednesday had returned to eating her dinner, making Bruce turn to look at her. “They’ve always bickered even when they were just a child. (Y/n) and Wednesday in particular, they liked to attempt burning each other alive ever since hearing the story of one of our ancestors who got burned at the Salem Witch Trials. Children love those stories, you know.” She places a hand on her chest, right above her heart, smiling at her children.
“Wait, hold on— You tried to burn each other alive?” Dick was the one who questioned what everyone couldn’t find their voices to ask about, too shocked and horrified that attempting to kill each other seems so natural and normal within the Addams family.
“Yes, for the record.” You answer without looking up. “Being burned alive is classified as the most painful, agonizing way to die, which is why it had been the perfect punishment for those who were accused of witchcraft in 1692 and 1693. My sister and I were intrigued to see whether this was a fact or just merely false information, so we would always attempt to burn each other in hopes of discovering the truth.”
“Funny thing is, they never did.” Jason cackles as Wednesday shot him an unamused look. “(Y/n) still wishes he could die being burned alive, though.”
The corner of your lips merely twitched in a soft smile as you kissed the back of Jason’s hand affectionately, eyes closed. “Have I ever mentioned I want you to do the honor?” You say with such a loving and adoring tone that Jason felt his heart swell, knowing this is somewhat a proposal that only an Addams would understand.
It was a traditional Addams way of showing they love the person rather than wrapping it up in just three words that rarely comes from the bottom of one’s heart. You would die for him, and only he could bring your ultimate demise, no one else. You were offering him your heart and soul, as well as life, permitting him to hold and treasure it for the rest of your lives. It was an implication that you would dedicate your life to him with nothing in return — you will do everything for him. It’s easy to kill — you’ve nearly done it with the Joker — but it’s not easy to live and die for him, but you will and you would.
Feeling overwhelmed with all the love you endlessly give and show, Jason couldn’t help but hide behind his empty hand in an attempt to hold his tears in, always being emotional whenever he gets the love he doesn’t think he deserves. But he does. You’ve never failed to show him he deserves everything you offer. God, how did he even end up with you? You’re so good to him, so loving and giving, Jason didn’t even expect you’ll be like this back when you two were just strangers building friendship. Jason can’t let you go anymore, and he would never even if you asked him to. He loves you just as much as you love him, although yours seem bigger than his.
The Wayne family witnessed Jason, the usually insufferable Todd who thrives off of violence, cry at the mere love and affection his lover gave. Jason was crying because you reminded him of how significant he was to your life. The big bad wolf, the ruthless Red Hood, the boy who had an immense thirst for vengeance, the boy whose blood is filled with utmost rage towards the world, was crying at the simple showcase of love.
And that’s how Bruce — no, his entire family — knew they failed to love him enough.
But they don’t have to make it up to him anymore. They can’t, because you’re already showering him with love and adoration and appreciation and everything he deserves. You did everything what they were supposed to do — what Bruce was supposed to do.
“Oh, mon amour...” You let go of his hand to gently hold his face with both hands, kissing away the tears that overflowed from his eyes. Jason stayed still, relishing how good you are, how soft you treated him as he gripped your gentle hands. Once you’re done kissing his tears away, he buried his face into your chest while wrapping his arms around you, embracing tightly. You kiss the top of his head, caging him in your arms as you gently run your fingers through his hair.
Jason closes his eyes within your embrace, inhaling your calming scent mixed with a cooling hint of cologne. It’s funny how you’ve always associated yourself with death and darkness, yet for Jason, your mere presence is a light at the end of the tunnel that makes him alive every day. “Thank you, (Y/n)...” He murmurs into your chest, barely audible, but heard by you nonetheless.
You gently scratch his scalp, not caring about your meals and attention solely focused on your lover. “For what exactly, chéri? I have not done anything for you to give me such gratitude, at least not that I remember. I have only been attempting to drown you in my love and affection, haven’t I? Are they worthy of your gratitude?”
He chuckled, “You know damn well they are.”
You tilt your head, a smile tugging at your lips. “Even so, do you truly believe it’s significant for me more than just your presence?” Jason slowly looks up at you, his mesmerizing eyes meeting yours, before shaking his head quietly. A satisfied look crosses your face at that, “There you go. It isn’t difficult to figure out now, is it?” Jason shakes his head, burying his face into your chest once again.
As you continue to comfort Jason, Damian stares at the sight with a weird look. ���Todd is extremely quiet when he’s around (Y/n). It’s... weird.”
Dick nudged him, “Hey, let him be. Jay’s probably just very comfortable with him.”
“It’s still weird, though.” Tim insists.
Barbara and Stephanie watched with smiles while you kiss Jason’s forehead, too willing to accept you despite finding your family quite strange. People have different traditions and cultures anyway; they figured yours are just too extraordinary and unusual that don’t fit society’s standards. Being different doesn’t matter when it’s clear that you love Jason too much, in your own special way.
Cassandra glances at Bruce, who seemed to be in deep thought. “I don’t think you have any other choice but to accept him.” Her voice snaps him out of his thoughts, “Look at them. They’re very much in love. More than in love, I’d say. It looks like they were meant to be with each other. Like destiny’s the one who wrote them together.”
Bruce looked at the two of you, who obviously saw nothing but each other in your little world.
“Besides, he basically called bullshit on your morals. And you know all too well he’s beyond right.” Cassandra smirks, “I hope your pride doesn’t get in the way of welcoming a new member, dad.”
Bruce sighed.
Well, it’s inevitable that you’ll be a member one way or another. Cassandra was right about that, and although he didn’t want to admit it, Bruce knew he accepted you the moment you stood up against him. It’s not always there’s someone who is brave enough to speak up against the Bruce Wayne.
Though, he may have to teach you not to strangle literally every single person who mess with Jason.
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© ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴅᴇsʀɪsᴇ. sᴛᴇᴀʟɪɴɢ, ᴘʟᴀɢɪᴀʀɪᴢɪɴɢ, ᴏʀ ᴜsɪɴɢ ᴍʏ ᴡᴏʀᴋs ғᴏʀ ᴍᴏɴᴇᴛᴀʀʏ ɢᴀɪɴ ɪs sᴛʀɪᴄᴛʟʏ ᴘʀᴏʜɪʙɪᴛᴇᴅ. ᴀsᴋ ᴘᴇʀᴍɪssɪᴏɴ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛɪɴɢ ᴏʀ ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪɴɢ.
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xjulixred45x · 2 months
Note
Can I please request the female douma in hasbin hotel I just saw the new trailer and thought about my favourite demon lazy demon .
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Ohhhh, Hazbin Hotel! That pretty cool! Deal ;)
Thanks for the Request ❤️
Hazbin Hotel x Douma Reader
Genre: Headcanons
Reader: neutral
Warnings: Douma itself is a Warnings (Cults, cannibalism), Hell, Alastor, mentions of alcohol, long work.
You died during the Taisho era, in Japan. having lived a fairly long and…full life, so to speak.
You were born with a unique appearance! with Rainbow irises that made you extremely popular in the area where you lived.
So much so that the people in your family believed that you had a special gift for speaking with the gods, so they formed a cult around you.
without knowing that in this way they would be awakening the darker side of your being.
As you grew up, being worshiped by the cult your parents had made, you couldn't really learn to differentiate emotions, which was frustrating. You wanted to feel SOMETHING, anything. have the experience.
and you tried everything.
do good things, do bad things, help the cult people with words you didn't really mean, scam, hurt, hurt animals, hurt yourself, hurt others in multiple ways, etc.
Even if they generated a certain feeling of emotion in you, you wouldn't say that they filled you up.
until you decided to try killing certain disciples and eating them to get rid of them.
and it was a success!You finally started to feel the emotions that others talked so much about!
Although of course, not all good things come for free, when you died there was no doubt that you would fall to hell, and so it was.
Honestly, You were very surprised to have fallen into hell, not because you didn't deserve it, but because you were an atheist all your life, believing that everything you preached was a lie.
And it turns out that it was true?? How curious.
but it didn't mean you wouldn't take advantage of your new playground.
With your natural charm, your unique and striking appearance (almost the same as you were when you were human) you were able to convince several low-ranking demons to trust you with their souls, rising in rank exponentially.
To make it easier for you, with your demon abilities you created a place similar to what your cult was like, there you could more easily control the people who gave you their souls.
In record time you became an Overlord. one quite well known but very mysterious. One that had a striking appearance and powers, but was rarely seen.
You could do anything you wanted in hell! which made the scope of your misdeeds increase exponentially, you couldn't be happier!
If we're talking about interacting with Hazbin Hotel's rl cast, of course you did! You were somewhat curious to know how Lucifer's daughter's attempt at humanitarian aid would fail. Also, bother Alastor? You are in!
Technically you already knew Alastor, you two died at similar times (you died before) and you saw how he rose very strongly among the Overlords, you liked him.
Unfortunately Alastor did not enjoy your company in the least, precisely because it made it very difficult for him to read you, either because of your lack of GENUINE emotion or because, like him, you used the trick of always having a smiling and pleasant facade.
Still, of course, he would rather be killed again than admit that.
But it was really a shame, he found some aspects of you pleasant.
For example, your taste in Canibal cuisine, Alasror recognized that you had good taste in that aspect.
Apart from that, you came from a VERY rich culture and spoke fluently in both English and Japanese, which was a great sight. Alastor normally wouldn't think that someone (at first glance) so airheaded would be able to speak a language like that so fluently.
but he is definitely something like your Akaza.
I mean, every time you push him out enough, Alastor will use Elrich magic on you and destroy you in the most grotesque ways possible.
That's until he realizes that you like it when he does that! That you make him hurt you on purpose because you're a masochistic son of a bitch!
The worst thing is that he doesn't realize this until Husk tells him...having already known you for years.
Speaking of, Husk doesn't trust you, not in the slightest.
he thinks you're a freak, a second Alastor but even worse, at least Alastor is honest about how horrible he is unlike you.
He serves you drinks when you ask, but if he can, he throws the glass directly in your eye or head, simply because he can. for your delight.
He is quicker to realize your intentions than the average person, and if he realizes that you want to turn one of the hotel members into your "dinner" he is drawing the cards SO FAST---
lots of offensive nicknames, to counteract the "affectionate" nicknames you give to people you know.
Don't touch it or ask it by surprise. Have you seen how cats do when they step on their tail? that's Husk when you surprise him.
Charlie...she's insecure about you.
and she feels BAD about it! She is supposed to be impartial and that everyone deserves a chance to change their ways! but you...well, it's you.
Charlie is not so naive, when more than one member of the Staff warns her that you are bad news, she is considerate of them and tries to make you leave, they have already had incidents with Overlords before, she wants to believe that you are different.
but it proves quite quickly that not when you show your more... somber side.
She tries to be cautious, failing miserably because she wants to know everything about you. You are someone very interesting!
Charlie definitely didn't have much of an idea who you were when she met you, your name did ring any bells, but she didn't think it was that important ---
until you casually blurted out the information that you had a fucking cult.
and that you eat demons.
FROM THE SAME FUCKING CULT YOU HAVE.
There Charlie decides to put into practice everything given in "setting boundaries" and tells you that although she likes how... you liven up the atmosphere of the hotel (and the air conditioning in some way) she DEFINITELY does not want to associate with you having Alastor.
if she KNOWS that you are trying to do something against the hotel or any of the staff members (especially Vaggie)...ohohoho buddy, prepare yourself for an ANGRY Charlie ready to show you WHO'S THE BOSS HERE.
(She definitely tries to get several members of your cult to go to the hotel with her to protect them from you).
You get on Vaggie's nerves. A Lot.
not only because you cool everything you touch, but because you are very similar to Alastor.
She knows you're hiding something, that you want something from them but she can't get it out of you easily, so she's content to just watch you from a distance and make sure you don't mess with anyone.
VERY PROTECTIVE WITH EVERYONE WHEN YOU ARE THERE, it increases the hotel's defenses by 130% and keeps you away from where others are.
You definitely like to annoy her by calling her names that are too friendly for your type of relationship or even using her as an armrest. In these types of cases you usually receive a few good punches in the ribs or a headbutt.
If you try to get too close, she applies the pilot's weapon to you, that is, she takes out her angelic spear and threatens you with a lot of violence. cursing you in Spanish in the process.
She's not as intimidated by you as she is by Alastor, but she definitely doesn't think you're safer for any reason.
less after finding out what you do with the people in your cult.
good luck keeping Vaggie from killing you!
Angel Dust is scared of you, like, really scared.
It's not because you're similar to Alastor, or because you're a Cannibal, or because you're a powerful Overlord. not at all.
It's because you are very similar to Valentino.
You pretend to be a good person, that you give a shit about what happens to the people at the hotel, but really no, it's all fake. REALLY fake.
you feel nothing.
and that terrifies him. He doesn't know how he acts around you. so Angel avoids you as much as he can, going near the fireplace since you don't like the heat, or near Husk.
he keeps making jokes at your expense, but it's really his way of handling the situation.
apart from the fact that Angel genuinely thinks you're pathetic, because you couldn't find any other way to enjoy your life and another life other than hurting people.
that's pathetic.
Yes, she won't let you be near the most vulnerable residents, like Niffty (when she's drunk) and she definitely won't let you be near Fatt Nuggets.
Try him and he will show you what he lived by while he was alive.
Niffty isn't scared of you in the slighleast.
In fact she is attracted to you on many levels, but Alastor will NEVER LET you be even a kilometer close to her in his presence.
In fact, there is a high possibility that you and her will secretly become friends, but Niffty better take care of herself around you.
She makes you use your ice powers so she can make things in the snow, snow angels, dolls, kill bugs with snow picks, etc.
she likes you and you like her :) surprisingly.
Sir Pentious is quite similar to Angel with you.
Sir Pentious is very aware of your reputation as a fearsome Overlord and definitely does not want to join the list of victims with his Eggboys, so he stays as far away from you as possible.
He has tried to make inventions resistant to your frozen currents, since it costs Charlie quite a few resources (because you don't pay a shit for what you break, you cheapskate) and certain artifacts that counteract your ice powers.
He brings several of his smoke machines to the hotel when he knows you're coming to visit (and if you come as a surprise, most likely everyone will hide in Pentious's warship because it's very hot in there.
Yes, he doesn't let his Ehgboys be near you in the slightest, he tells them horror stories with you like the big egg-eating monster.
and if you try something with his Minions PREPARE FOR THE DEATH RAY--
In general, you are a pain in the ass for everyone, everyone, always :)
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^when they find out You come to visit
Thanks for the Request ❤️
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anna-the-undertaker · 8 months
Text
Are there any Obey Me! writers who are willing to write darker themes like religious abuse, physical abuse, or mutilation? I just watched apostle again, and there is a scene (spoiler) where the mc is branded with a large cross on his back and it made me start to wonder how the obey me cast would react to finding out that their mc had the same thing done to them by their overly religious family...
Like, mc disobeyed, or spoke out against them and their ways, or refused to follow their teachings/admitted they were an atheist, or commited an act that was in their eyes a sin, and that was their punishment because they believe they are doing gods will.
The cast finds out because, as a result of the trauma, mc doesn't like to be touched, and being around these biblical beings makes them severly uncomfortable and something happens and sends them into a panic attack and the feeling of their clothes touching the scar makes it worse forcing them to claw at themselves until they can get it off, revealing it to the person present or they are found that way curled into themselves.
I dont have the energy to write it myself cause im recovering from a kidney stone 😩 and I dont know who I could request this from because I know there are people who would be uncomfortable writing something like this since it can be a very sensitive topic, but I am really craving some obey me content that really shows the horror aspect that would be abundant being surrounded by demons. The game opens the perfect opportunity to delve into such matters, and I need it to scratch my brain.
If anyone knows of a creator who would be willing to write it, please let me know.
Picture of the scene im talking about below -
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clanwarrior-tumbly · 5 months
Note
Could you do John and Gary x a demon reader with memory loss?
A powerful demon that got a head injury, and after being taken in by a human hospital, comedicly thinks they're a human, despite being a little too big for that. When they say "oh I'm a normal human, like everyone else", they're saying it genuinely, because they think their "condition" (being a demon) makes them look weird.
I think it would be funny to see headcanons of John trying to go along with it like "sure buddy, that house fire you were TOTALLY in sure messed up your face bad, glad that you're working well at the local library- sure man your face 100% doesn't scare me-"
While Gary is trying to convince this extremely powerful demon of his past only to be hit by "Oh, Sorry. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in demons, or god." By the poor oblivious demon lord.
I love this idea fhhshfw Demon!Reader just forgor
.......
John Ward
He was visiting the library to look for any leads regarding Gary Miller and finds you just,,,,chilling at the register.
It's broad daylight, it's semi busy, and everything seems a bit too normal.
But John still senses a great evil radiating from you and believes every human here is in grave danger.
Yet it's strange seeing you, a big and scary demon wearing their clothes, not have any urge to kill them or paint the halls with blood.
Meanwhile you only see a man who looks lost, forgetting that HE was the one Gary assigned you to eliminate.
"Are you finding everything okay, sir? Ready to checkout?"
"Um..not yet. Thank you." He speaks with great caution, nervously fidgeting with his crucifix. "You wouldn't happen to be the notorious demon-?"
"Demon?" You cut him off with a sigh. "...listen, I know my face looks scary. But that house fire gave me some pretty gnarly scars. I promise I'm a normal human being, just like you."
"....I see." Poor John is terribly confused, especially as you uttered that "normal human being" bs.
It appears you were brainwashed into believing you're human, and you attributed your demonic appearance to burns from a fire you supposedly escaped.
But in reality, you did get a severe head injury while punishing some defecting cultists for trying to burn Gary's writings.
You torched their home, although your physical form got viciously attacked..and a good samaritan found you passed out not long afterwards, taking you to the hospital.
The doctors saw your human skin (aka your disguise) sloughing off but assumed it was from the burns.
By that point you had terrible memory loss, forgetting your time in Hell, Gary's cult, your mission....and even your own species.
But you've quickly adapted to human life, as you began working full time at the library after recovering.
Still, John's not convinced. So he tries asking around, believing somebody was covering for you or was in allegiance with Gary.
Yet he gets only rude stares and remarks of how you were just a friendly volunteer trying to do their best.
He soon realizes you won't be of any use in helping him figure out Gary's plans...as you didn't even know who he was.
All you said was that he sounded like a "nice guy".
Gary Miller
Being just a rank below Malphas, you had the potential to wield great influence over the thralls/cultists on Earth.
So Gary summoned you to weed out the traitors in his cult who spoke of burning his books or revealing them to the public, but doesn't realize what ended up happening to you until much, much later.
A thrall spotted you leaving the hospital, and at first he thinks the cult's cover was blown.
Lucky for him, you apparently made up a story for the human doctors and they 100% believed it.
The next time he meets you for an update, you're happily working at the library dressed in human clothing.
Yet when he privately visits you during your coffee break, he realizes that this little "act" you're putting on may not be an act after all...
You don't remember him at all, and he wonders if this is some trick or not.
Becoming Astaroth for a moment, he forcibly summons you in Garyland, bewildered but trying to stay calm.
He still holds a great respect for all demons, of course.
"Tu es ultor animarum...what has changed? I've done everything you've asked me to and more. Do you grow weary of your duties?"
"....um.." You stare at him weirdly. "Was that Spanish you were speaking just then? And the only "duties" I know of are back at the library, so-"
"You recall...nothing? You don't even recognize the Great Duke of Hell standing before you?" He grows frustrated. "You were a great lord. You've dragged traitors into the Unseen World to-"
"Listen, no offense but...I'm atheist." You bluntly tell him. "It's fine if you believe in God and demons and stuff, but it's just..not my thing. Now how do I get out of here? I don't wanna miss the sweet old lady who comes in every now and then to see if we have any new cookbooks."
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traumacatholic · 1 month
Note
I recently got engaged to the love of my life. We are both still very young, but currently there is a possibility they may have cancer. we cannot currently make an appointment with the hospital because its the weekend, and moreover if we can get an appointment it may be months away. Im terrified beyond belief. My fiancé even more so.
I truly do not know what to do. I'm someone who has been blessed in life in that I have never lost someone close to me. My fiancé pulled me out of the worst time in my life when I met them. My connection to God has never been strong despite my family being catholic. I don't even really know how to pray. We have so many plans for the future, to be married and raise a family together. To try and put a little good back into the world. To grow old together.
I am at a loss. Any prayer you can offer would mean so much to me. I would do anything for my fiancé, and though it feels wrong to come back to my faith because something horrible is happening and not for simply wanting to I only hope God can forgive me for it and protect my Love.
Of course, I will keep you both in my prayers. Never feel like you're turning to your faith for the 'wrong' reason, because this can put you off really engaging and connecting with your faith and using it as a pillar and a support network. Please reach out to a Church, even if you aren't currently attending one. And asking for prayers and for help from the Priest. Even if you did turn to faith for the 'wrong' reason, ultimately by spending time in prayer, spending time reading Scripture, spending time going to Church - whatever things you might be doing. Should hopefully lead to you sincerely connecting with your faith in a way that perhaps feels more meaningful to you. A genuine engagement with the faith. It is better to turn to God in times of desperate situations, than to never turn to Him at all. God never tires of us turning to Him for help.
People turn to the faith in different ways, in many different situations. We should never treat the individual turning to God as 'this is the right reason', 'this is the wrong reason'. Anything that could lead to someone genuinely increasing their faith, no matter how slim that possibility may be, should be encouraged. How many cultural Catholics still turn to St Anthony for help finding a lost item? Or a Hail Mary when they're in the hospital waiting room? As the old saying goes 'there's no atheist in the trenches'. And regardless of how 'silly' or 'insincere' or whatever else term we might use that turn to faith might be, God will use it as an opportunity for you to develop or redevelop that relationship with Him. Our entire life is a conversion process. We are always, every single day, choosing to convert to God through repentance or choosing to slip away from Him. Hoping in God, hoping in His power and His mercy and His comfort isn't a bad thing.
In terms of prayers, if you are feeling up for it. There is an Akathist to the Theotokos for healing - particularly for healing from cancer. I know you don't have a confirmed diagnosis, but please don't feel like you have to wait until then to pray this. You can pray it now. This is a long prayer. It is designed to be read all the way through. Don't worry about the names of Troparion or Kontakion, that's meant for people that are chanting the Akathist. http://www.stvladimiraami.org/sheetmusic/akathistvsetsaritsa.pdf Has the beginning prayers, as well as the full akathist. Generally, the first couple of times reading through an Akathist can make it take a long time. But I found through the Akathist that I prayed daily, that eventually it takes a lot less time because you know the prayer well enough. Don't feel like you have to read this every day. Traditionally, Akathists can be said once a day for a 40 day period. You don't have to do it for that long, just as and when it feels feasible. It does also have three prayers at the bottom. If you're ever not feeling up for praying the Akathist, feel free to pray those individually.
I have attached some much shorter prayers under the read more. Feel free to mix and match between them. I would recommend having at least one prayer, that you pray morning and night. If you can, I would also recommend reading a Psalm a day.
Dear Lord, as my loved ones and I await the results of medical tests about my affliction, let us offer you our anxieties for our good and your glory. Calm us in our worries, knowing these don’t add wisdom but rather stress to this situation. Enlighten us, though the power of your Spirit, to make wise decisions as to treatment. Help us not to turn away from You in these fragile, painful moments, but rather towards you for grace and strength. Comfort us in seeking you now as we place all our concerns in your loving hands as we say “Thy Will Be Done.”
--
Mary, health of the sick, you brought forth into our world Jesus Christ, our Divine Healer. In your caring goodness, intercede for (mention name), who is truly in need of miraculous assistance.
If it be God’s will, I ask this day that the gift of healing from all forms of cancer be granted to (name).
Comfort him/her during times of anguish, pain, confusion and despair. Ask our gracious Savior to grant him/her physical health, inner peace and patience in suffering.
May God’s healing graces grant (name) a life of happiness, health and fulfillment here on earth, and one day the joy of eternal glory in His loving embrace.
Amen.
--
Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.
O Lord Almighty, the Healer of our souls and bodies, You Who put down and raise up, Who chastise and heal also; do You now, in Your great mercy, visit our brother (sister) (Name), who is sick. Stretch forth Your hand that is full of healing and health, and get him (her) up from his (her) bed, and cure him (her) of his (her) illness. Put away from him (her) the spirit of disease and of every malady, pain and fever to which he (she) is bound; and if he (she) has sins and transgressions, grant to him (her) remission and forgiveness, in that You love mankind; yea, Lord my God, pity Your creation, through the compassions of Your Only-Begotten Son, together with Your All-Holy, Good and Life-creating Spirit, with Whom You are blessed, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
Let us pray to the Lord. Lord have mercy.
O Lord our God, Who by word alone did heal all diseases, Who did cure the kinswoman of Peter, You Who chastise with pity and heal according to Your goodness; Who are able to put aside every malady and infirmity, do You Yourself, the same Lord, grant aid to this Your servant (Name) and cure him (her) of every sickness of which he (she) is grieved; lift him (her) up from his (her) bed of pain and distress, and send down upon him (her) Your great mercy, and if it be Your Will, give to him (her) health and a complete recovery; for You are the Physician of our souls and bodies, and to You do we send up Glory: to Father, and to Son, and to Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and to the ages of ages. Amen.
--
O God, our help in time of need, Who are just and merciful, and Who inclines to the supplications of His people.
Look down upon ____________and have mercy on them and deliver them from the trouble that now besets them.
Deal with ____________ not according to their iniquities, but according to Your manifold mercies, for we are the works of Your hands, and You know our weaknesses.
I pray to you to grant ____________ Your divine helping grace, and endow them with patience and strength to endure their hardships with complete submission to Your Will.
Only You know our misery and sufferings, and to You, our only hope and refuge, we flee for relief and comfort, trusting in Your infinite love and compassion, that in due time, when You know best, You will deliver ____________ from this trouble, and turn their distress into comfort.
We then shall rejoice in Your mercy, and exalt and praise Your Holy Name, O Father, Son and Holy Spirit, both now and forever and to the ages of ages.  Amen
--
[Feel free to pray this one for yourself, and to edit it to be a prayer for your fiancé. From my understanding, when we are praying for someone else, we omit any references to them being a sinner. So you would edit it to 'Be merciful to him/her, O Master. Take from them the heavy burden of despair.']
O Greatly-merciful Master, Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me and cleanse me from every sadness and disturbance and cowardice. Drive away from me every spiritual choking and demonic sorrow, that I sense in my body and my soul. For You are our Joy, and the Hope of all the ends of the earth, and those far off at sea. Be merciful to me, O Master, upon my sins. Take from me the heavy burden of sin and despair. Drive far away from me every sadness and laziness. Confirm me in Your Love, and with unassailable hope and unshakable faith in You, through the intercessions of Your Spotless Mother, and all Your Saints. Amen.
--
[I would recommend this one for yourself]
O Master, Lord my God, in Whose hands is my destiny: Help me according to Thy mercy, and leave me not to perish in my transgressions, nor allow me to follow them who place desires of the flesh over those of the spirit. I am Thy creation; disdain not the work of Thy hands. Turn not away; be compassionate and humiliate me not, neither scorn me, O Lord, as I am weak. I have fled unto Thee as my Protector and God. Heal my soul, for I have sinned against Thee. Save me for Thy mercy's sake, for I have cleaved unto Thee from my youth; let me who seeks Thee not be put to shame by being rejected by Thee for mine unclean actions, unseemly thoughts, and unprofitable remembrances. Drive away from me every filthy thing and excess of evil. For Thou alone art holy, alone mighty, and alone immortal, in all things having unexcelled might, which, through Thee, is given to all that strive against the devil and the might of his armies. For unto Thee is due all glory, honor and worship: To the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen
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utilitycaster · 1 year
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Any thoughts on FCG's first commune with the Changebringer?
LOVED IT.
I think my initial frustrations with FCG are extremely well-documented, but I've been a huge fan of FCG exploring faith - as I've said elsewhere, for all this is a robot flipping a coin, it's genuinely one of the more thoughtful portrayals of how grappling with religion as an institution and a philosophy actually looks like. Like, for all FCG has professed so much belief, his first question is "are you real".
I've loved all the explorations of religion on Critical Role, to be honest, and have found that they've covered a wide range of experiences - but until this campaign, it's always fallen into two categories:
people who have been followers of a deity since childhood (Pike, Jester, Caduceus)
people who have been rescued by or made a promise to a deity for something incredibly important (Vax, Yasha, Fjord; to a lesser extent Vex and Scanlan; this is also where Deanna falls)
FCG is just here because they're exploring! They're here because they didn't know how to feel about the fact that they were, demonstrably, put on this planet as an assassin, and killed many of their friends, and the same person who told them about the Care and Culling also said "hey, change and reinvention and finding a different path are possible; I believe this utterly, and here is the token of my belief." He's not really asking for anything other than "is there someone out there who sees me as more than what I think I am." Honestly, while it frustrated me earlier that he had no source for his powers? It means that this is truly entirely coming from him. Like, I don't think it lessens the devotion of other characters that they have gained benefits or abilities from their gods or feel they owe them something. But it's also fascinating that FCG is not (for example) like Fjord, trying to find a way out of a bad deal, or like Vax, trying to save someone he loves, or like the characters who have had cleric powers reliant on their deities from such a young age that it is central to their identity. This is purely voluntary.
In some ways, it's the most realistic depiction of real-world religion because like...man, I don't know if anything's out there. I do not believe there is an old dude in the sky, and I think religion, when it is at its best, is a consolidation of a community-oriented philosophical and moral framework that we hang on a made-up anthropomorphic entity because abstract concepts are hard and concrete things are easy and ritual is grounding. I don't think I will be struck down by lightning if I eat bacon, and especially as someone who has something of a "do what feels right" approach to what practices I follow I in fact know I won't be struck down by lightning if I break some. And yeah, it's an arbitrary accident of birth and circumstance that I am the religion I am. But also, I don't get Guiding Bolt out of it, so it's a wash.
However, unlike me, or any of the many people who fall neither on the "I believe this utterly" or hard-line atheist scale but rather somewhere in the vast in-between, FCG worships a god we know is real and actually gets to ask them some questions. And when they do all they ask for is whether the Changebringer is real, and sees them, and what they can do, and that's an incredibly beautiful moment. Commune is one of those spells you can use to try to just get answers and none of this is about that. It's just about a connection. And particularly in the wake of what FCG has just witnessed, and the fact that the gods have withdrawn slightly, it says a lot that this worked.
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kingofthewilderwest · 2 months
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Moral Orel hit me in a sweet spot. I think it’s beautiful seeing fans on different paths discussing how the show touched them. I’ve seen people who’ve left the church, agnostics, atheists, and Christians all say the show spoke deeply to them. Of course the show’s black humor on religion offended many, especially before its last season aired, but I think the show’s resulting legacy - connecting to people who’ve both left and who’ve stayed - demonstrates successful nuance to how Moral Orel was crafted.
The show’s creators have said it’s not against religion per se, it’s against hypocrites. Even with the first season, I felt that and found appreciation (frankly, joy) for what was satirized. Here was a show speaking up, exaggerating, and lampooning the facets of Protestant American Christian culture I’ve vented about in confidence to relevant friends and family - without, like many modern shows which tackle this subject do, mocking followers themselves, faith itself, and suggesting to viewers one way of life is better than another, one group of people is (ex: intellectually) superior to another.
Some people have stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me when I left church,” or outright, “This show taught me there is no god.” And that’s not an unfair way to interact with Moral Orel because it doesn’t preach what you “should” do there (a sign of mature writing, really). I stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me in the areas I get frustrated,” which assuages my feelings and makes me more confident in my faith and place within culture.
I feel awkward in contemporary culture because I was raised with minimal secular exposure - daughter of a worship pastor, student at a private Christian school until high school. Meanwhile, in adulthood, I didn't attended church functions for over a dozen years. My group of friends have largely been non-Christians who hold negative opinions about the religion and don’t live remotely similar lifestyles to what I was raised with. I love what I've learned from them. Unfortunately, this also means the cultural building blocks that make me who I am seem shared by no one I'm around, which, even though I'm in my 30s, remains disorienting.
On the flipside, I'm the weirdo with the third eye in Christian spaces, too. I’m an ever-thirsty knowledge-seeker who strives to comprehend forbidden topics from all angles. I spent my twenties researching, questioning, rebuilding knowledge, and critically analyzing everything about the Bible. Church attendees and services feel painfully artificial, with mental blockers to topics I feel are critical to understand.
In either community I partake in, I feel “off.”
I’m grateful to have been raised by parents who didn’t pussyfoot around issues, with a father who deep-dives research. Discussions, delving, and digging into the hard stuff has always been fostered. My family spoke to pastors when we disagreed with their theology. I grew up around people who practiced passive acceptance, but my family was not that.
In the last year, I’ve returned more strongly to my faith and have been reintegrating with the Christian community. In some areas, my faith has grown and, humbly, I’ve learned much from peers. Despite stereotypes, I want to note that, in certain fields, the church community has always been deep and meticulous! And there are so many beautiful and uplifting areas in the church. But likewise there are those areas that get assumed, aren’t questioned, and aren’t… responded to well by questioning spirits. There have always been areas in the church culture I find disingenuous, foolish, illogical, limited, oversimplified, denialistic, or susceptible to hypocrisy and immorality. I’m not better than any person on this planet, but I’m rubbing shoulders with a community that has different blinders than I do, who don’t even consider asking the types of questions or seeking out the information I find necessary for a solidified faith.
Moral Orel disparages the toxic elements of Protestant culture, the misinterpretations, the artificial facades, the mindless assumptions, the poorly-hidden underbelly, all the areas Christian community can and does go wrong. It makes me feel justified feeling awkward in two worlds: someone for whom Christianity is deeply important, but someone whose mindset doesn’t jive with the rest of the town. Someone who can find and wants to find the best lessons outside of Christianity. Someone who believes in questioning, rethinking constantly, raising her eyebrows at common notions within church culture, and striving for the actual love, sincerity, dedication, and goodness our faith should be based on.
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ocean-eyed-lovers · 2 months
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No but I have to ramble about this because this is making me go fucking insane.
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"Look for me in hell. I'll be waiting."
"Yes, we'll be together for all time."
I haven't been in the snk fandom for years and just a few weeks ago I stumbled upon this, and goddammit before I knew the brainrot was back stronger than ever (Eremin brainrot, not snk brainrot).
Buckle up because this is going to be a long ass post.
At first I was kinda pissed because it literally felt like queerbaiting. I'm sorry but there's no way in hell (no pun intended) that you would say that to a friend. I've seen Turkish Dramas with less corny(affectionate) dialogue than this fucking shit right here. If Armin or Eren were a girl, this would have been considered romantic without a shred of doubt. Talking about being together forever in hell ? Not simply in the afterlife, in hell !?
Nah, bro. Nah.
You know what this reminds me of? My favorite canto from the Dante's Inferno. The one that tells the tale of Paolo and Francesca.
Summarizing the story shortly, Francesca da Rimini was a young girl who was forced to marry a man much older than her. Her husband had a younger brother of hre same age, Paolo, and the two fell in love. When Francesca's husband found out about their affair, he killed both of them.
Both couples committed the sin to follow their own selfish desires, although Paolo and Francesca's sin is a lot more understandable and wouldn't even be considered a sin by today's standards(they shouldn't have been in hell in the first place fuck you Dante)
Armin and Eren committed the ultimate sin, and will be paying for it in hell for eternity. Likewise, Paolo and Francesca committed the sin of adultery (although a lot less horrible sin) and are bound to spend eternity in hell together.
This canto of Dante's Inferno had me always fascinated for a reason. I've always wondered... is it really hell if you're with the person you love? When I was 13, the way my Sunday school teacher taught us about hell is something I'll remember until the end of my life. She explained hell like this; imagine you're here in this classroom, while in the other classroom there's a party. But you can't go because you'll be stuck here for eternity: that's what hell is, not being able to see God.
I found it funny at the time, because being the antisocial introvert I was, I would have much preferred staying in the empty classroom rather than attending a party in the other classroom. I was also in my atheist phase so I didn't care much about seeing God, whether he existed or not.
If hell really is like this, would two lovers being together really be considered torture? Wouldn't it be more torturous for them to be eternally separated instead?
So supposing hell is the state of missing what you long for the most, wouldn't Eren and Armin's punishment be eternal separation from one another?
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foone · 1 year
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Has anyone written an official star trek novel about Worf's bar mitzvah yet? (long post on Jewish Worf under the cut)
He was orphaned at age 6/7 and adopted by the Rozhenkos shortly after, so he would have come of age in a Jewish household. As for "would Worf have had a bar mitzvah?", have you met the man? He loves him some rituals!
And if you're not sure if Worf's adoptive family is Jewish, two things: 1. His mother is played by Georgia Brown, a Jewish actress 2. HIS DAD IS LITERALLY TEVYE. THEY COULD HAVE NOT MADE IT ANY MORE OBVIOUS
His dad is played by Theodore Bikel, who got his start in acting by playing Tevye in "Tevye the Milkman", an adaptation of the stories that predates Fiddler on the Roof. In 1969 he started playing Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, the role he played more than any other.
Anyway I want to get a story about a klingon girl being adopted by a Jewish family as a child, and having her coming-of-age ritual with her new family. Call it "My Bat'leth mitzvah"
You know it's been pointed out that Worf seems to be more invested in the history and culture of the Klingons than most of the raised-by-Klingons Klingons we meet in Star Trek.
There's lots of fan explanations for this (the Klingons have lost their way, and he believed their propaganda about themselves, so he's more Klingon than Klingons, or he's on the autism spectrum) But I want to see it brought up on trek itself.
Someone asks Worf why he's so invested in Klingon rituals, in their history, in their culture, when so many Klingons have forgotten the same, and let it slip away.
Worf explains that he got it from his father, who always emphasized the importance of... *Worf stands up and begins to sing at the top of his powerful klingon lungs* TRADITION!
Three decks away, a startled ensign drops a sample container. Within hours half the ship has mutated into kangaroos and Data has to save the ship yet again while Picard swordfights Shakespeare on the holodeck
I wonder if Worf ever mentioned to Sisko that he was Moses.
Sisko: What. Worf: You're a prophet to a people just out of slavery, one raised by another culture but secretly one of them. G-d spoke to you and told you of your divine mission. Because of your actions you were told you would not enter the promised land.
Worf: Remember when you entered the wormhole and spoke to the prophets to stop the Jem'Hadar invasion fleet? And they did? Well, what happened to the Pharaoh's army when they tried to follow the escaping Hebrews across the Red Sea?
Worf: Even your name! Benjamin, son of Joseph and Sarah. These are Hebrew names! You are Moses.
And how does DS9 end? (spoilers) Oh, Ben is taken into heaven on a chariot of fire. Like the prophet Elijah.
I imagine a young Worf coming to his father, excited to point out a connection to Klingon religion he found while reading the Torah. His dad is excited that his adoptive son has taken such an interest, and asks him to explain.
Young Worf explains that he was reading about Jacob, who met either G-d or an angel, and wrestled him until he was given a blessing. Jacob was from then on known as Israel, meaning "wrestles with G-d".
Worf points out that Klingons have no gods... Anymore. They were killed by Klingons in the distant past.
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Little Worf balls up his tiny fists. "Don't worry, father! I shall help you finish what Jacob started!" and runs out to practice Bat'leth in the back yard. Sergey covers his face with both hands, then looks upwards and whispers "he doesn't understand... Forgive him, please!"
He'll ask the rabbi for advice later, and they'll be a very unique conversation.
There are many difficulties with maintaining the faith and traditions in the atheist utopian future of Star Trek, but "my adoptive son read the Torah and now thinks it's his divine mission to kill G-d in his heaven and drink bloodwine over his corpse" is a new one.
little did Worf know that the job had already been done, years before he was born, and with Klingon assistance. Yes, I'm going to bring up Star Trek V...
"God" or at least a very powerful being claiming that title, is trying to kill Kirk on a planet named after the James Bond actor. Kirk reaches the top of a mountain (why is he climbing the mountain?) and he's out of options. BAM, Klingon Bird Of Prey, out of nowhere! DIE, GOD!
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But it wasn't a Klingon at the weapon's console. It was Spock! (But he's Jewish too, so it was still someone who Wrestles-with-God)
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From then on Spock was known to the klingons as chotwI’Qun: God Killer.
(the grammar is probably wrong on that, but if you try to correct me on my Klingon (don't you mean tlhIngan Hol?) at the end of a post about how Worf is Jewish, I will simply call you a NERD)
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harrisonarchive · 11 months
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George Harrison, 1968; photo by John Kelly.
Living In The Material World was released in the USA on May 30, 1973.
“You’re taught to just have faith, you don’t have to worry about it, just believe what we’re telling you. And this is what makes the Indian one such a groove for me, and I’m sure for a lot of other people. Because over there they say, ‘Don’t believe in a thing… if there’s a god we must see him, if there’s a soul we must perceive it,’ and so on. It‘s better to be an outspoken atheist than a hypocrite, so their whole teaching is, Don’t believe in nothing until you’ve witnessed it for yourself.” - George Harrison, Rolling Stone, February 1968
Q: “Is there a paradox between your spiritualism and the atmosphere when you’re touring?” George Harrison: “It is difficult, yeah. It’s good practice in a way, to be, as they say, in the world but not of the world. You can go to the Himalayas and miss it completely. Yet you can be stuck in the middle of New York and be very spiritual. I noticed some places like New York bring out a certain thing in myself while I found in places like Switzerland there were a lot of uptight people because they’re living in all this beauty, there’s no urgency in trying to find the beauty in themselves. If you’re stuck in somewhere like New York you have to look within yourself; otherwise you go crackers.” - pre-Dark Horse Tour press conference, October 23, 1974
Lisa Robinson (journalist): “Is it difficult for you to lead a spiritual life and remain in the music scene?” George Harrison: “Yes. The music scene can be… seedy. It’s pretty difficult and I go back and forth.” - Intelligencer Journal, November 25, 1976
“That’s probably the most difficult of all, because I really relate to these people [musicians]. I love them, and they’re my friends, and from time time I’ve really gotten into that — being crazy and boogying… parties and whatever all that involves. I go from being completely spiritual and straight. Then, after a while, I’ve gone back in with the rockers again. But I’ve got a good sort of tilt mechanism in me.” - George Harrison, There Goes Gravity by Lisa Robinson (2014)
“He said, ‘I’m lucky, I’ve got a tilt mechanism.’ And I used to look at him and go, ‘Well, your tilt mechanism goes beyond mine.’ He felt he always knew when to come back, but it can be a dangerous way to live. Because he had an inner anchor and a very pronounced consciousness — not conscience, but consciousness — he knew: This was bad, I’ve got to get back. And maybe that was the Catholic guilt he was always trying to leave behind. Maybe he never did. Maybe that was the tilt mechanism, I don’t know.” - Olivia Harrison, ArtsBeat, The New York Times, September 23, 2011 (x)
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ericleo108 · 9 months
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CosmicLuve.com July 2023 - The Main Thing
Necessary prerequisite posts:
108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness (book)
Sentientism 2022
Cosmic Love Feb 2020 - Emma Watson
Cosmic Love April 2022: Cary Charlotte or Mary
Cosmic Luve July 2022 - Smoke Blunts Response Treatise
Cosmic Luve Aug 2022 - Coast
Cosmic Luve Sept 2022 - Hope
Cosmic Luve Oct 2022 - Folklore
Cosmic Luve April 2023 - Sun
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Into
This is a pivotal post and touches on all relevant cosmic luves (as in persons, as well as ties in many posts). This post builds off the story developed in “Sept 2022 Hope” and especially “April 2023 Sun.” You won’t understand the theory or meaning of this post unless you read the Sentientism post and other log entries to see that these coincidences are common occurrences and how I interpret them. The fundamental understanding of all this comes from my book “108 The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness.” 
The intent of this cosmic luve log is to explain what I see as Gaia/Earth communicating. The basic theory is that the Earth and stars are conscious due to their magnetism. They have abilities like “telepathic randonauting” and “points of realization” to try and communicate which can affect things like evolution subtly but consistently. I show how Gaia could be manipulating our behaviors by influencing our cognition throughout the cosmic luve blog.
Where we left off… 
When we left off I talked about the semantics of the sun in lil’dicky’s show, how I’m searching for Marcus Lemonis, and couldn’t afford help from Ryini. Well, I said screw it and signed up for Ryini even though it takes my whole music budget for the month. It’s been a couple months and I have found the investment worth it. 
We have a personalized meeting a couple of times a month with a group chat twice per week. This has helped me focus on marketing like making vertical music videos. With their help, we have been breaking them down into segments and running ads through Instagram to get followers and plays on Spotify. They have done things that are invaluable like turning me onto Spotify’s Discovery marketing feature that gets me thousands of plays per month now. I feel like it been worth it and they’re here to help and gonna keep working until I see a good amount of success or at least get my money back. I’m practicing a 7 track set to perform online and at local venues. Hopefully, I’ll have plenty to point to by next cosmic luve entry. 
Marcus and Dave
I stopped looking for Marcus Lemonis because I don’t think he wants to be found. It’s obvious to me he has to know I exist and is just ignoring my request for a meeting. I forgot to mention in the last cosmic luve post that my song called “Process, People, Product” which is taken from his quotes about business from Marcus drops on November 16th 2023. 
It’s worth explaining and furthering the semantics in Dave’s yellow dress. I should of mentioned this in the last post “Sun” but it didn’t come to me until right after I published it. The semantic trope goes as follows and furthers the story of the sun’s communication. Our sun is exemplified as a male. Dave in his yellow dress (exemplifying the sun) came out the same time as my song “Bong hits for Jesus.” Jesus is gods son and based off the myth of the sun (click here for more) as I show in my Atheist Raps blog post. “Bong Hits” is about smoking weed. In Dave’s song about smoking weed “Too High” he talks and makes jokes about the sun (having a dick). This also is a callback to the first Emma Watson post where she is pointing to a letter E in yellow. 
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Looking back
I have a confession to make. Gaia has taught me that when one door closes another one opens. In February I made a tweet along the line of “When they say when one door closes another one opens is bullshit, I quit my job months ago and haven’t found anything.” I quit my job in August 2022 and said that in February 2023. Come to find out that I got my first big royalty check in August 2022 and hadn’t been informed yet and didn’t find out until March 2023. When it was May I have now received my second $1500 royalty check in 6 months. The second royalty check came just after I decided not to go to Marcus’s event. Even with the royalty payment I didn’t really have enough to go because it was $500 plus hotel and airfare. I used the money to pay off my credit card which is full of music production and promotion expenses. 
It seems that financial security is coming slowly, but coming, I just need to focus on building momentum and doing the work. It’s just frustrating cuz I can’t afford anything else and forgo a lot to make all this music happen and I haven’t had real relief for years. The truth is I’m still struggling and have not even come close to breaking even with what I’ve invested, but it’s a start. I am currently desperate for more royalties or financial help.
Looking forward I want 100 tracks by December 2024. If you want to know about coming projects while hearing what I have to say about Big oil, global warming, and blue watch the July 16th 2023 sunday update.
Coincidences
The first cosmic luve occurrence I’ve had since last time was small but was with Taylor Swift. “Karma” is a song that was on The Chalice Mixtape in 2017, I’ve also had it remade and it drops October 6th, 2023. There was a small but unmistakable coincidence in Taylor’s “Karma” video. In my song “cosmic love brownies” that I uploaded months ago and comes out December 13, the lyric is “I got a Saturn in watching over you, cause you’re a supernova girl.” Here is the tweet I made about it. But this lyric reminded me of Taylor standing with Ice Spice lassoing the moon and Saturn in her “Karma” music video.
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Then I had a small occurrence with Hailee Steinfeld when my song “We Make The Party” dropped. I talk about it in my “We Make The Party” blog post but basically, I didn’t realize I would be releasing the song so close to the official start of summer. It has the lyrics “Nothing feels good as her in the summer, we make it hot like global warming.” On the 22nd Hailee posted her magazine feature in The Laterals as their “summer girl.” Unfortunately, I didn’t get a screenshot so you’ll have to look it up. This reminded me of Hailee’s newest song “Sunkissin” which feels like a ‘call-back’ from the sun where Hailee sings “Come and catch a wave, Fade away like it rains in the summertime (In the summertime).”
Although I just published a song called “Vulnerable” responding to a Selena Gomez song by the same name I haven’t seen any coincidences. It's worth mentioning I have thought to myself on many occasions that these women are like the sirens of Greek mythology. Selena reminds me of the ocean and therefore has the strongest association with this feeling and semantics.
Other coincidences since last time include that Cornell West announced his run for President with the Green Party days after I dropped “Philosophy 101” which is based on his Masterclass. And Russ met Dr.Dre right before “Freaky naughty” dropped which is musically inspired by Dr. Dre. I feel like this is Gaia building off my July 2022 Smoke Blunts post.
Emma Watson
Finally, The reflections I got from Emma are so stark and can be interpreted so profoundly that it seems like Emma follows me and is doing it on purpose. But I maintain it’s just Gaia using her as a vessel to reflect my life and work because Gaia and the sun think Emma and I should be together for compatibility and acumen reasons. The truth is for Emma to be reflecting me on purpose she would have to know intimate details of my life which makes me believe it’s much more likely she is being manipulated by some unexplainable phenomenon that I am desperately trying to explain. 
You can follow the tweet thread but basically, I’ve been responding to Emma’s Instagram stories through Twitter. I’m just gonna leave the tweets linked which have pictures of Emma’s IG posts. It started June 1st when Emma semantically reflected my poem in the Cosmic Luve Sun April 2023 post (click here for the tweet). It’s worth mentioning that I love otters, they’re probably my favorite marine animal, and I used to do horse videos on my Facebook page. It seems to have a cohesive message of “I’m loving you without possession” but Emma would have to know I love otters and did my horse videos.
I stopped doing the word of the day rhyme on July 3rd was the last day. Then on July 11th I retweeted about Global Warming emissions and how I no longer was going to create an album to berate the oil industry. On June 11th, the original June 29th post that I made due to the smoke blanketing Michigan from Canadian wildfires that are happening due to global warming, came full circle. This is because that’s when I found out the EPA could cut 90% of emissions. 
The next day Emma posted a cosmic luve response of the “Elementals” movie. I wrote her a poem and said Emma was the “main thing” because she had a picture on her story that also said, “Keep the main thing, the main thing.” Emma has been the whole purpose of my music as Eric Leo 108 since the beginning in 2017 (when I dropped the Chalice Mixtape) and before (Click here to see the tweet). It’s worth noting that my best-performing track in the week she posted this became “Hey Emma.” Keeping with the “Elementals” theme the hook to “Hey Emma” exclaims that Emma can “make it hot, being oh so cool.”  
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I just want to mention that also during this time I put out a call out for a videographer saying I need help and I just wanna say I wish Emma was my videographer. In keeping with the notion Emma would have to know my personal life otherwise, it’s Gaia… about a week or two prior to the Elemental post, I went kayaking for the first time and got drunk on the river in Michigan with some friends. I loved it and have been asking them to do it again ever since. Maybe Gaia and the sun are telling Emma and I that we should go Kayaking for our first date if we ever get there. 
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apollosgiftofprophecy · 10 months
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Your Apollo & Aphrodite response is making me excited and I'm kinda rambling now, but Aphrodite does have the domain of war 👀
HOWEVER, only Sparta, Kytheria, and some other cities acknowledged it while the rest of Greece erased and ignored it so maybe Rome's impression of Venus makes a huge impact on the slight differences between Venus and Aphrodite because this is the first time an entire civilization acknowledges her military aspect? 👀👀
It's very convenient that in my library book about Rome I came across a lil' something interesting about Venus.
Venus was originally an Italian goddess, and the book actually introduces her as "The Great Goddess Venus".
She was the goddess of substantial homely virtues, and was invoked regularly as Venus Cloacina - "Venus the Purifier"
And, well, Cloacina was the goddess of the Roman sewage system so her and Venus were kinda one in the same until younger people began associating her with Aphrodite in Greece.
Until that happened though, she wasn't a large presence in Rome.
This website talks in the Venus section about how her popularity went up during Rome's war with Carthage, and her (Venus Eurcina) cult was given approval via the infamous Sibylline Books.
She also had lots of different incarnations in Rome
Venus Eurcina
Venus Verticordia (change of the human heart)
Venus Genetrix ("the Mother"; mother of Aeneus; lover of Mars)
Her Genetrix aspect was highly venerated, especially by Julius Caesar and Augustus due to the whole "we're descended from Aeneus" thing (although, I'm raising my eyebrow at Julius because also in my book, I found out he was actually an atheist??? And used the religious system to fool the populace??? so I'm going "hmmm" on that if we're talking in-universe ToA canon)
Anyway. Genetrix aspect was even brought into the Imperial Cult because of that and she had many, many many temples in Rome.
(sidenote: that website also talking about the other gods and their Greek/Roman aspects!!! Take a look because I certainly am!)
So here's how I'm seeing it:
Venus and Aphrodite were separate entities up until Rome took over Greece and people began mixing Venus and Aphrodite together.
Venus was made primarily the goddess of love and beauty, while Cloacina took the sewage area, and Venus Genetrix shot up the popularity charts.
According to this website, Venus also actually became a symbol of imperial power, so that is probably where her war influences and domains got a bit of attention.
And the previous website has a bit more to say on it too! Temples were erected to her to gain her aid in battles, and both Julius Caesar and Augustus claimed her ancestry through Aeneus.
(going ToA canon, that mean Augustus has the blood of Venus and Apollo in him. Damn. Man's got a lot going for him)
The website also has a picture of a statue of Venus, and it used to have her bearing a shield - all in all, she was a symbol of military success and civic peace.
Also she took on more of a matronly persona, which led to empresses being regularly identified with her in carvings, busts, and etchings on coins.
Damn. Aphrodite/Venus has quite the resume.
PJO, HoO, and ToA fans give this woman the proper respect and love she deserves we stan a queen.
I found this thing to it's basically an entire essay on Venus's military importance in Rome. I've only read the first paragraph but damn.
I mean, just read it;
"The Roman goddess Venus is conventionally associated with love, sex, and beauty. However, these were only some of her areas of influence. In reality, her role within the Roman religious system was far more complex and multi-faceted, and was not confined to these associations. Venus, in the Roman mind, bore associations with warfare and military success that were just as prominent. On one hand, this is hardly surprising due to her divine status, especially as one of the Dii Consentes. All Roman deities could be thought of as ‘militaristic’ in some sense. However, even the Romans themselves made a sharp distinction between her role as the goddess of love, and her martial qualities. This indicates both her importance as a martial deity, and the surprising nature of her multi-faceted role in Roman religion."
DAMN
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hearth-and-veil · 1 year
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I'm coming at this with way too much experience so it's going to sound harsh.
It is not the pagan community's job to heal people's religious trauma.
There needs to be a space for that, but it needs to be completely removed from religious communities.
Neopagans are trying to have our own, sincere, independent religions -not a rebellion against Mormonism or Islam or the SBC or whatever high-control religion people are running away from. And I hate to break it to everyone, but everything people from high-control are running from is still part of neopaganism. We still have structure, scripture, prescribed belief, sin, judgement after death, and, worst of all, fallible humans running the show.
Neopagans who didn't grow up with religious trauma aren't equipped to help those of us who did. Those of us who already worked through it aren't trying to relive it while newcomers try to process it. Oftentimes new neopagans fleeing from high control religion are destructive and disrespectful towards pagan religions -treating them as a hedonistic, lawless free-for-all because that's what their childhood religion said paganism is - and demanding that anything that doesn't suit them is removed.
That leads neopagan communities to becoming closed off and unwelcoming, as they try to preserve their religion. It's very hard to support some ex-Calvinist who wants to take their hatred of the Abrahamic god out on Zeus and their mommy issues out on Hera. And it is unfair to expect a religion to not be a religion just because you have a problem with religion.
Neopaganism (and atheism) is not a rehabilitation center for religious trauma. Deconstruction, healing, and generalized religious education need to take place before jumping both feet in to yet another religion.
I would like to reiterate that I have an unfortunate amount of experience in this department, on literally all sides. I grew up Southern Baptist (though not nearly as high control as most) and when I left that I got sucked into a very extreme situation I can only describe as an evangelical atheist cult. Seriously. Then I dipped my toes into paganism and was exactly the kind of person that leads pagan communities to not liking newbies. Their perceived mistreatment of me led me back to the crazy atheists and "justified" my antitheism.
It wasn't until I actually put in the work towards healing that I broke out of the cycle, calmed down, made my peace with human behavior, found a religion I believed in, and started building my community.
You are going to have to be the one to heal. We can't do it for you.
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realjaysumlin · 9 days
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Jesus of Lübeck - Wikipedia
When I hear people say that slavery started in 1619 I get confused because I know that slavery started in the first European voyage in 1441 by the Portuguese first encounter with the African Gold Coast.
West Africa and the African continent was thriving and free until the European colonizers arrived. This was the modern day beginning of having any real association with Africa since the first invasion by the Greeks and Romans after their education from the Black African Egyptians.
There were many attempts to destroy Egypt by the very people they trusted to teach and this is the same repeated history that the European colonizers followed. They thought that the Greeks wrote everything according to religion until they found out that Black Africans educated the Greeks and not the other way around so they felt that they had to destroy all Black African History and tell their own made up version of history being exclusively Europeans.
This is why when you see everything according to history and narratives it's centered around Greeks and Romans and never anything about Africa. Christianity like all religions shares an African origin.
Christianity is for Black slavery no matter if you think this is an African origin because it's not really true, this is still Europeans bringing Christianity to Africa after the conquest of Egypt.
But even though many Africans were Christians during colonization the European colonizers decided that Africans Christianity was definitely different from the European Christian God and so under the laws of terra nullius in the new papal bull would justify them to take over Africa in the 1800s the same way and time they took Australia, The Netherlands and the South Pacific.
As you can see why I am an atheist and I hate everything about Christianity and whiteness and everyone who is Black no matter where we live should hate this shit religion too.
The next time you talk about Jesus Christ remember you are calling on the slave ship that took everything from us.
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