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noahmullariii · 3 days

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do I believe any character's trust in Dumbledore could potentially be broken? yes. have I ever seen anybody write it in ways that make sense for those characters' unique perspectives and personalities? no.

and a lot of times it's still compelling as hell when the most devoted characters start seeing cracks early or when they fight for something else in the first place, not regarding Dumbledore as their guiding light at all. it turns those characters into different people though.

but what strikes me more is the immediate shift of the atmosphere of the first war and everything that happens throughout.

because when I think about the first Order of the Phoenix and Dumbledore, my first association is, surprisingly, cult of personality. USSR cults, specifically. they were sort of unique, initially crafted to give more power to the Party instead of the Leader.

Order is similar, in a way. on the surface it's just resistance. an organised war effort. a mishmash of people from different backgrounds uniting to fight for personal reasons. James fights for the greater good and his righteous ideals. and James fights for Lily. Lily fights for herself and those marginalised like her. and Lily fights for her muggle family. Sirius doesn't fight for, but against - against his blood family, against Slytherins, against everybody like them. and Sirius fights with James. those 3 are simple. what about others?

Remus doesn't fight for or against. Remus fights with Dumbledore. because Remus' world revolves around Dumbledore and when he says "go die in a war" - Remus goes, no questions asked. he owes Dumbledore that much. Peter doesn't fight for or against. Peter fights with Dumbledore. because Peter wants to be safe and Peter wants to win. Dumbledore promises a win. Peter believes him until he doesn't.

but James also fights with Dumbledore. because Dumbledore is the greater good personified and shares James' righteous ideals. Lily also fights with Dumbledore. because Dumbledore fights for marginalised the loudest. Sirius also fights with Dumbledore. because Dumbledore fights against everybody who's like Sirius' family.

Dumbledore, Dumbledore, Dumbledore. the centre of it all, the bonfire of hope, the beacon of light, the daimon of good. Order is Dumbledore, first and foremost - not Moody, Alice, Frank, Dorcas, Marlene, Prewetts, Caradoc, James, Lily, Sirius, Remus or Peter. not any of the others. it's Albus Dumbledore and the blind, the devoted.

it doesn't fall apart until it's too late. it's only Sirius who gets a chance to notice but he promptly denies it, locked up in a cell for 12 years, carefully tucked away by Dumbledore. he trusts Dumbledore.

he trusts Dumbledore when he escapes, he trusts Dumbledore with Harry, he trusts Dumbledore when he tells Sirius to hide at Lupin's, he trusts Dumbledore when he locks Sirius up in his childhood house of terrors, he trusts Dumbledore when he assembles second Order. he joins Dumbledore, he fights with Dumbledore again, even locked up and angry, and the only time he doesn't trust Dumbledore with either Harry or himself he goes, and fights for Harry, and dies.

others are dead, or tortured, or new, or Remus. Remus who is the blindest and the most devoted. Remus who owes Dumbledore, believes that he owes Dumbledore everything and more. the new don't know any better yet, but Remus does and ignores it. he trusts Dumbledore. trusts him with Harry, and with Sirius, and with himself.

Remus joins Dumbledore, fights with Dumbledore again. sees Dumbledore destroy Sirius - looks the other way, sees Dumbledore destroy himself - deifies him even more in his death, sees Dumbledore's ghost destroy Harry - wants to join him to be destroyed too. because there's nothing left - Dumbledore gifted him his heart at 11, and it died piece by piece in the span of 16 years, and then Dumbledore dies himself, and he can't gift Remus another heart, another life. so Remus blinds himself some more, fights with Dumbledore's ghost and dies. probably for Dumbledore too.

and if all of that can happen when a small group of people simply trusts one mortal man, it's going to take a lot more than a wayward thought in one of those devoted heads to see the cracks. it's going to take a lot of thoughts, a lot of heads, a lot of cracks. a lot of discussions and a fair share of arm-twisting and change of faith. it surely must be a group effort in one way or another, preferably with the help of those who aren't as devoted. if there are any.

because as lovely and as gratifying as it is to read about Remus or Sirius or even Minerva blowing up at Albus - if you don't write them getting to that point after deconstructing their prior canon beliefs... then those characters aren't really Remus, Sirius or Minerva. especially not Remus who was always the most devoted of them all.

#albus dumbledore #anti albus dumbledore #i'm sorry man it wasn't my intention but i gotta tag this now #remus lupin #sirius black #james potter #lily evans #peter pettigrew #order of the phoenix #harry james potter #minerva mcgonagall #marauders #marauders era #the marauders #the marauders era

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annoyinglandmagazine · 2 days

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@silmarillionepistolary Lord Maedhros of Himring

Prince Nelyafinwë Maitimo Russandol of The Noldor

I’ve sent my latest ledger alongside this and I believe you know by now that there is no chance of you finding a fault with it so let’s not shall we? You will not be able to prove anything with any group of accountants you can cobble together from those battle fixated imbeciles in your employ and it’s not as if I intend to withhold aught from you.

I agree begrudgingly that we must approach things from a united perspective, why I even agreed to give Celegorm a loan recently, for military matters apparently though I have my doubts, and I certainly won’t see a coin of it returned without having to write him much more persistently than I like to. He’ll yield eventually, he always does. Though it would be faster if you applied some pressure as well I’m close to getting Ambarussa on side and he’s always been putty in their hands so your assistance isn’t strictly necessary this time.

I am aware that when you talk about the risks of fighting amongst ourselves you are including the Arafinwean and Nolofinwean elements but I am simply electing to ignore that excessively ambitious request. The only ‘us’ that matters to any extent here is the seven of us and our followers and I think, considering I would say those relationships are all in a relatively good place presently, you should cut your losses and accept the win on that front.

You can’t fix all the Noldor, Maedhros, and the sooner you manage to accept that the better as far as I’m concerned. Besides, from what I hear of your own particular diplomatic skills in regards to a certain Nolofinwean you should have an in there no matter what the rest of us do. Curufin and I think you don’t take advantage of it anyone near regularly enough when all of Beleriand knows he would not refuse you any favour you may ask of him but I suppose that’s your own prerogative; we can count on his support on the more dire situations for your sake which is something in any case.

I trust my last shipment of wool will have reached you by the time you receive this; which is all for the better considering I have heard from reliable sources (Maglor but even so) that the weather has taken a sharp turn into an early winter. It was your decision to settle so far north when you could have shunted it on to those Arafinwean brats so you shan’t get my sympathy on that matter but it wouldn’t do for us to lose our mannish recruits to the cold, without all the soldiers we can get our position in the north will quickly become untenable.

In reference to your last letter I do wish that you would stop nagging me about said Arafinwean brats, Nelyo, I have been entirely well behaved in my dealings with them in recent months and am entitled to place whatever taxes I wish on my own exports. If they are unhappy with this they can go elsewhere, they certainly shouldn’t go whining to my older brother to get a discount on my perfectly standard rates.

The disparity you pointed out between their rates and your own was entirely unfounded as I am naturally giving you a discount as head of the house of Feanor and my boneheaded older brother who decided he’d like to freeze to death while fighting off Morgoth armed only with fury. So really you should be thanking me but I am used to receiving no gratitude for my efforts with this family so I shall let it slide.

As for the comparisons you drew between other rates and their’s, if you had time to peruse them I have a list of criteria for which I give lower prices and why they apply to specific groups, ledgers upon ledgers of meticulous, complex calculations, Nelyo dear. Dorothion just happens to meet none of them by pure chance.

On the matter of my trade to the west I think the plan you detailed in your last letter sounded quite satisfactory. I assume you have already begun on having the diplomatic groundwork laid down so we receive ample credit as the benevolent saviours of their economy for the deal I ran by you?

It’s rather ingenious I have to say, I’m sure your end of it will work perfectly and you needn’t worry about the wording of the deal itself, it’s quite brilliant if I do say so myself. Irreproachable really, Fingolfin won’t be able to find any justification to turn it down without looking hopelessly petty. Maybe have Maglor spread a bit of propaganda, some catchy song with subliminal messaging and the like, he’s quite useful for that I suppose. It’s a pleasure doing business with you as always.

I should pay a visit to Himring next summer if all goes to plan, I would only be staying about three months mind; it’s looking to be a busy year and I’ve already got two important trade deals lined up for the autumn that I should be east for at the final stages. I warn you this far in advance because I know your Fingon tends to travel north in the warmer months and I’m sure you would like to avoid any overlap after last time with Curufin.

I recommend you issue an official invitation for a state visit soon, it makes it simpler to write things off as diplomatic expenses on my payments to Fingolfin and it is going to be a hard winter after all. I look forward to it, I haven’t seen you in quite some time now, I miss you. Keep an eye on Maglor, his expenditure has been lower than usual recently and while it hasn’t crossed the threshold of a concerning change best watch for anything out of the ordinary.

No I am not giving you a source for my information on his accounts, I have my ways and I’ll leave it there. On an entirely unrelated note now would be an excellent time to see if Belegost may be more open to a military agreement with Himring than it was previously. I have my ways.

The Lord Caranthir of Thargelion

Prince Morifinwë Carnistir of The Noldor

#silmarillion #tolkien #silmarillionepistolary #caranthir and maedhros #caranthir #maedhros #sons of feanor #feanorians #Background Russingon

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mrpsychokiller · 2 days

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i am actually so suspicious of this god damn moth post but i cant find any concrete evidence to prove theres something wrong with it other than my gut feeling and i feel insane

like of course first of all this post is from 2013 and im not really willing to believe any given post from 2013 is true specially when the post is this amazing coincidence of this person coincidentally finding those two coincidentally aesthetically pleasing moths and managing to get them coincidentally snuggling together for a picture. yknow. it does feel too weirdly good to be true

BUT SECONDLY im so weirded out by these two moths specifically.

ok bear with me. the little one is very obviously a rosy maple moth. (which is also coincidentally one of the most famous moths specifically for being pretty)

but im willing to believe any given english speaking tumblrgirl at the time could find one considering they live seemingly accross the united states and canada. fair enough

BUT my problem is the big one. of course everybody even in the notes seems to be classifying it as a luna moth (ALSO a famous moth species for being pretty) you can also feasibly find them in north america, ok.

theres also the point of their lifespans

luna moths as adults live only for about 7-10 days, and i had a harder time finding info for adult rosy maple moths but it seems its about the same

the source of this is an old article from someone actively breeding maple moths x but i believe its the same with moths in general, since they literally dont have mouths and cant eat so they just mate and die.

SO youre gonna have a small time span to find one. both moths are also mainly nocturnal, which makes even weirder that op found both of them during the day.

theres also the point of WHEN are they adults. aka maply moths seem to show from from may through the summer

luna moths though, seem to vary in when they show up depending on place. some do include late may or early june on northern regions, ans a generation in july in central states.

which means you could, feasibly, have a span of about a week or so in may, june or july where both maple moths and luna moths are adults and alive at the same time.

BUT THE POST IN QUESTION IS FROM APRIL 16

thats NOT when adult rosy maple moths show up, much less both of them.

though maybe im just being too pedandic with specific dates and theres margin for variation, but its, again, some real big coincidences

BUT FINALLY theres the fact im suspicious about this luna moth IN THE FIRST PLACE.

i might just be going actually crazy here, but for this we've been assuming the luna moth is the species that exists in north america (otherwise these two wouldnt be in the same place at all)

and like this is what the luna moth looks like

(pictures from wikipedia)

and you see how theyre kinda weird compared to the one in the pic.

the luna moths are mostly green, with much less of this pretty pastel pink of the one on the tumblr post. you could argue they have pink markings but in most pictures i see they seem more like a dark red/brown with a remarkable very thick marking on the wings

you see how the moth in the pic just looks kinda weird. but that can also be from filters or editing to make the photo prettier making the colors different.

(i also think the tail looks weirdly long, but there seems to be variation in the tail length in various luna moth pics ive seen, so i cant speak for sure about that)

(i also cant tell you whether the sizes in comparison to each other are right cause i suck at visualizing size comparisons and its not like theres any other pic on earth of the two together so.)

CONCLUSION: i dont fucking know. i spent an hour looking moths up online and didnt get any reasonable answer to my doubts. i guess in the end THERE is, even if small, a chance of you finding both these boths alive at the same time in the same place so i can fully discredit the op. i give up im going to have breakfast

#🧃

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lgbtlunaverse · 6 months

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See, the thing about found families is that generally they provide an escape from the rigid structures and norms that society tends to impose upon traditional families, right? It's why they resonate so well with queer people. The normal rules that they by definition don't fit into cease to matter within these found families.

And then I look at 3zun, and the sworn bortherhood vow. Which is, on its own, a kind of promise of found family, no? We're not related by blood but I am choosing you as my family anyway, etc. Except, by swearing that vow, 3zun turn a relationship that wasn't bound by familiar norms into one that does. Being sworn brothers has rules attached to it just like any other familiar structure.

All of 3zun have, without exception, some deeply major trauma connected to family and, specifically the societal ruels and norms surrounding family. Whether that be following in your familial tradition even though that'll kill you because that's what is expected of you, or seeing your mother waste away alone and trapped, and barely ever seeing your father due to his self inflicted punishment for not marrying the right kind of person, or watching your mother die and having your father kick you down the stairs and refuse you entry to his home because you were born out of wedlock and to the "wrong" kind of mother, unable to fit properly into society's ideal family at all.

And I'm not saying the real historical practice of swearing bortherhood is problematic, abolutely not, could you imagine? What I am saying is that 3zun's vow was meant to be a way to tie these people together, heal bond that had been broken, and generally help them grow close to each other. And it failed at that spectularly.

And maybe that's because for these people, and the bonds between them, trying to fit them into a societally justified and acceptable familial mold might have, fundamentally, been the wrong thing to do.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #found family #3zun #nie mingjue #meng yao #jin guangyao #lan xichen #i'm actually not sure about this because i do think jgy like. needs the security of a societally acceptable and recognized bond #for very obvious reasons #or maybe it's more that he needs to be in a society where his safety doesn't depend on having those #because they tend to not go well for him #something something the villain is society #either way i think it's very interesting that all of 3zun end up recreating their familial trauma within 3zun #and jgy specifically ends up recreating his 3zun problems in his next family unit (his marriage & son)#they can't ever escape!!

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arctic-hands · 9 months

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I've had more than one anarchist I associate with be surprised to learn I'm actually not an anarchist. But like. I'm a huge proponent of the Welfare State, and you kind of need a state for that

#welfare #welfare state #food stamps #Medicaid #medicare for all #universal healthcare #ubi #ssi #if a government isn't going to take care of its people then the government has no use to the people at all #so like I'm down for dismantling a system that only exists to rule and oppress and watch us die #and i don't mean 'fascists are okay if they make the trains run on time' type shit bc I'm staunchly antifascist #but like i do think a government can take care of even the most vulnerable of its populace if it really wants to. it just doesn't want to #undesirables who can't turn the cogs of capitalism are to be disposed of in most governments. esp the United States via #passive eugenics #anyway #revolution or not if the medical infrastructure goes down for any reason then me and a fuckton of other undesirables are dead #also this next statement is less towards anarchists specifically and more for like utopic commune people but anyway #if your utopia is based on 'work to live/earn your place' you are not a leftist you are a capitalist with a woke vocabulary #and i hate you

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 7 months

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Okay lowkey loved that one

Like it wasn't just "temples are important" it was also "you're part of the church no matter where you are"

#like the uniting of the gospel of christ and such #but also the part about hearing it in their own language like we are unified but that doesn't mean we're all the exact same #and here's elder gong talking about languages!#lovely :)#anyway :D #ldsconf #love y'all <3 #also just gotta say the part about the members being welcomed :') <3 #it got me #I didn't cry but it got me lol #also can confirm as someone who lives close to the temple that I specifically think 'I should go when I have the chance'#otherwise I probably would take it for granted #and I probably still do a bit

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rohirric-hunter · 2 months

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any character + outlandish quest reward(s)?

"I don't want this," you say flatly.

Eywind pauses in his merriment to give you a quizzical look. "What's wrong with it?" he asks. "It's nice enough. Good resale value, if you don't want it. But I thought you would. It's old, and you seem the type to like that kind of thing."

"It says 'Túrin' on it," you point out.

"Yes, well," he says. "Isn't that just its name? What does it mean, anyway?"

You take a deep breath and pinch your nose, closing your fist over the ring in your hand. "It's an engarn," you say. "An owner's inscription. Túrin is, or was, the name of its owner. And yes, it is very old. How it came here I know not, but I want nothing to do with it."

Eywind blinks, no understanding on his face, and you take a deep breath. Dwarves are long-lived, by the reckoning of mortals, but not so long-lived that they recall the Elder Days with any sort of clarity. It's not polite to speak of such things directly, not in casual conversation, but the Dwarf ought to have some explanation -- if for no other reason than to warn him off picking up old strange rings. You wonder where he got it.

"A great deal of malice was bent on the owner of this ring on a time," you say. "I cannot say whether any of it has clung to the ring, but it's not a risk I wish to take."

Eywind still looks confused. You lean on your staff, pulling your cloak tighter around you against the cold of the Misty Mountains in October, and honestly try very hard not to heave a sigh, to limited success. "It's cursed," you say. It's not, or rather, you don't know whether or not it is, but perhaps saying it bluntly will drive the idea into his skull.

"Oh!" he says. "Well, if you don't want it, then I'll take it back."

"Excuse me?" you say.

"The goblin I took it off of walked straight off the edge of the cliff back there," Eywind says. "I thought it must have had a sight too much to drink, but perhaps --"

"No, it's of scholarly interest to some," you say, and you quickly pocket the ring and walk away, without looking back.

~*~*~*~

Túrin is such a completely bizarre and out of nowhere quest reward, attached to a totally random sidequest that seems to have nothing to do with the events the item evokes -- except that I think Eywind just might be the sort of crazy who would witness Túrin's decision-making process and wonder if he could weaponize it.

At first I thought it was unlikely the ring was directly connected with The Túrin, and then I remembered that this game is always trying to pawn Barahir's underwear or whatever off on its players, so no, I think it's pretty plausible, actually, that this is an actual item he may have owned. As to whether or not it's cursed... well has anyone actually kept it long enough to find out?

The POV character for this is my helf LM Pegweneth, who is honestly a bit of an ass when it comes to what she expects other people to know about, at least at this point in her story. Maybe I'll have her keep the ring. Might be something there.

#lotro #the wind will set me racing #ty for the ask friend!#i was initially going to do something with the statue of candaith and the many questions that raises #why does halbarad have a statue of candaith. how has he been carrying it. when did he have it commissioned. did he make it himself #is he giving it to the pc specifically so he doesnt have to carry it anymore #does rohan have storage units i can rent #but then i realized thats actually a deed reward #which in my mind is different #it doesnt come with the implication of the questgiver handing you the item right then and there #at least not to me

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defectzim · 8 months

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TaTr is real and good. <- have a whole story in its head that would NOT fucking happen in canon.

#show doesnt give us anything my brain fills in the gaps #itd I GUESS be an AU but in my heart and mind its real jus lemme have this #Tenn gets re encoded as a service drone after the incident with the SIR units. tallests would rather put the blame on her than admit fault.#They get sent to moo ping 10 not as a prisoner just to work there (i go back on forth on what her specific job is. BUT its low profile.)#something like a custodian. tenn takes it as best she can but she DOES have a bit of that dramatic i want to get revenge feels.#like they've just lost their mission through no fault of her own. its a difficult time for her as she starts to kinda...question things.#like the way the world (or the only one she knows) works around her. but she also knows there isnt much they can do yk.#eventually she meets Tak there. who IS there as a prisoner.#i think theyd bond over the way theyre both victims of circumstance. and how they couldnt do anything to get where they were when meeting.#but hey. maybe being at your own rock bottom isnt too bad if someone's on the same level.#one thing leads to another they start their own “resistance” BUT really it is just them chilling in space.#theres lots of gaps BUT. but....shhh lemme have this i know its corny and would NOT fucking happen but they make me giggle happy smile.#ZIM SPEAKS #oh also mimi is included too. mimi is their emotional support kitty.#kitty mimi is forever i luv her FOREVER.#also i use they/she for tenn jst so theres no confusion ^_^!

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dykefaggotry · 7 months

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have to do a paper focusing on modern religion instead of religious/cultural history i have suffered more than jesus

#all jokes i do find modern religion very fascinating i just tend to get lost in the sauce of ancient history #but this one's going to be a fun one it's gonna be on jewish masculinity and femininity in modern times esp focused in the united states #and how they differ from mainstream western ideas of masculinity and femininity #might talk to this one woman in my classes who's a rabbi in training bc she's cool as hell and knows a ton abt this stuff #possibly my capstone advisor too bc hes got all his degrees in jewish studies and focuses most on Modern judaism #so he may have a few resources i can pick his brain for lmaoooo #it'll be fun ! i'm just so used to focusing on religious history i think so far i've only ever had to write one paper on modern religion #which was to do with trauma in evangelical churches specifically seventh day adventism but.#that was for a psychology & religion class #religious studies rambling

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blujayonthewing · 3 months

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well I just spent an hour digging through my own dnd notes and social media and also almost cried because I mentioned, in passing, something justin had said about one of his NPCs and he, completely lightheartedly, was like '?? I don't remember that at all. [I mean I'm not making it up?] I think you might be making it up 😏'

#me-- instantly stressed and near tears: I know you're joking and it's not even important but. that isn't funny. to me.#I really wish there was a term for 'gaslighting but they're not doing it on purpose'#this is distinct from simply 'being wrong' because 'that's definitely not what happened 🤨' is a key part of it #the other person trying to convince me that I'm wrong and I must be crazy-- not for manipulation purposes but because THEY forgot #and are MUCH more confident in the possibility that I'm completely full of shit than that they maybe can't remember exactly #this is an extraordinarily specific thing that nonetheless happens to me ASTONISHINGLY OFTEN.#I mean clearly often enough that I'm now hair-trigger sensitive upset about it #AND TO CLARIFY QUICKLY-- that's not what justin even did (this time) but 'well I don't remember that' is still...#OKAY WELL I DO. WHY DOESN'T ANYONE EVER BELIEVE ME.#trembling and crying searching for Receipts while explaining to my husband that it's not even that I don't think he believes me (this time)#I just. I just. I just. I'm not fucking crazy. I know you don't think I'm crazy. but I still feel like I Have to prove it.#my mom sending a package to the wrong address and then saying-- confidently and irritably-- 'you never GAVE me a unit number'#when I can scroll back up through texts to where I sent her our new address when we moved and it was complete and correct #my friend during our big stupid fight saying 'no one actually AGREED to that [dnd] plan except you and justin 😒'#going back into my audio recording to that conversation where everyone BUT him agreed #including his fucking pick-me 'yeah jay's being shitty right now' brother whose character said 'this sounds like a good plan' verbatim #like. I KNOW it's not just 'my memory vs theirs and we both assume we're right'#because SO OFTEN when this happens I have FUCKING RECEIPTS. that I'M NOT WRONG OR CRAZY.#no one ever wants to entertain the notion that I might know what I'm talking about.#I can't stress enough that I'm not mad at justin right now he was very much 'no I believe you! it's weird that I don't remember though'#which is fair! honestly! but I'm a LITTLE. sensitive. of the fact that everyone always ALWAYS automatically assumes I'm incorrect #and very often in a way that's a mark against my competence or character.#'well *I* couldn't *possibly* have gotten the address wrong so YOU must have fucked it up'#you know. it's like that. it's like that a lot.#maybe this only happens to me so much because I happen to be cursed with remembering things better than most people #or maybe I'm uniquely viewed as incompetent. who can say.#about me

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starswallowingsea · 7 months

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Putting these two thoughts together bc i dont feel like making 2 separate posts about it but i do think one of enstars strong points is that it has a varied unit size and each unit has their own distinct music style rather than having each unit be 3-4 people and styling them after different subgenres within the same broader category. Wider audience appeal if you can have both 2wink and Undead making wildly different music from each other yknow

And my second thought was i do not understand people who produce 1-2 characters in a unit and then hate the other member(s) like. They are in a unit because they like each other and are okay with spending a lot of time with each other. Do you think anyone in Alkaloid hates Aira or do you just think he sucks because he's a 15yo boy who is still learning how the world works and isn't your perfect little baby you can coddle all the time.

#shay speaks #the last one is specifically abt the weird amnt of hiiroPs ive seen who hate aira's guts #like theyre besties. they're in gay love. what #do you think hiiro would willingly continue to go out with aira and even ask him to go out #if he didnt like him on some level????#do you think tatsumi would actually want to hit aira with his car. absolutely not #this isnt abt like. producing one character but not the others bc like. i do that #tattsunP but not alkP but i actually do care abt tattsun's relationships with alk #and how much they mean to him. i dont think he should leave alkaloid bc they would not be the same #but theres such a weird cross section of these people for every unit like. wh #your fave would hate you for hating their friends

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danielnelsen · 1 month

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always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so.#the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed????????#i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare?#still more sick than i’ve been in……..years?#im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!!#and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like—#starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

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thedreadvampy · 1 year

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not very related but every time I think about LGBTQ progress I think about the equal marriage act (the most high profile legal change since I've been politically aware)

and then I think about sitting with my housemate (later girlfriend. later ex) on her bed in 2012 watching and livetweeting the equal marriage debates in parliament.

and then I think about the person who tweeted, in response to a point being made about the diversity of opinions on the matter in the Christian faith and specifically the firm pro-equality stances taken by the Quakers and the Unitarian Church; "Unitarians aren't real Christians and Quakerism is witchcraft"

"Quakerism is witchcraft" has lived rent-free in my mind for over a decade. my two favourite callbacks to make with friends about my religion are "Quakers ritually bathe in oats" and "Quakerism is witchcraft."

#red said #i can never remember who the other church was bc i mix up unitarians and united reform #even though the urc dragged its feet on same sex marriage into 2017 #anyway i don't think it's just my internal perspective that the Quakers were brought up more during the debate #i think maybe cause the Unitarians had been on board for longer and the Quaker commitment came in 2009 #also bc Quakers are a relatively politically high profile group #like the three faith groups that came up throughout the debate as specifically pro equal marriage #were the Quakers the Unitarians and the Liberal Jews #who i think were the three who most unilaterally took equal marriage as organisational policy #for Quakers in 2009 we agreed to just start recording all marriages equally anyway and sending the paperwork to the government #even though they didn't have the legislation to recognise it #which is a thing we could do bc there's a peculiarity in law stemming from 18th century ghettoisation of Quaker communities #which means that i think uniquely among churches in England? we appoint our own registrars rather than having to use state registrars #and Quaker marriage registration uses different paperwork and processes decided by the Quaker National Meeting #so we write and witness our own paperwork then send it off to the government to make it legally recognised #whereas all other religious weddings you have to bring a civil registrar to fill out a standardised registry form #so. we had a legal capacity that other groups didn't to just say Hey Fuck You We're Going To Marry Them Anyway #and 2009-2013 the government just had to deal with getting sent marriages that were validly registered but not legally recognisable

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skyloftian-nutcase · 1 year

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Giving Report with the Healthcare Boys (LU in Healthcare snippets)

What patient handoff and/or shift change looks like for some of the boys!

Wild stretched as he entered the staff lounge and caught sight of a coworker getting on shift. His feet were sore and he had a headache, but overall he felt pretty good despite the chaotic day.

"How was today?" his coworker asked.

Wild shrugged. "Busy."

His coworker smirked. "Well at least you're actually mostly in uniform today."

Wild looked down at his black scrub bottoms (that he absolutely didn't steal from Twilight), light blue polo, and sleeveless black jacket. "Yeah, I guess so."

"What kind of adventures did you have today?"

Wild laughed. "Only one, thanks. We eventually found MRI."

"How long did it take for you and your patient to find MRI?"

"Um," Wild shifted awkwardly. "Maybe twenty minutes? Didn't mess up her appointment, so it was fine. Besides, she got to see the ambulance bay and a friend of mine showed her the back of the ambulance, which she thought was really cool."

"That sounds like way more than twenty minutes!" his coworker laughed.

"We had fun and got there eventually," Wild shrugged as he crossed his arms. "That's all that matters."

When his coworker continued to guffaw at the entire situation, Wild rolled his eyes exasperatedly and clocked out. He was ready to have some of the dinner that he'd made for himself yesterday, and he was excited to get home and relax.

XXX

"I just fueled her up, she should be set to fly for you tonight," Sky said as he pat his hand against the helicopter with a warm smile. "The only thing I can think of is that you need to watch the cyclic; it's a little jerky if you adjust it too fast. I was going to see if maybe I could look it over but we kept getting calls."

Belari nodded. "Got it! I'll take a look at it with the shift checks. Sorry you were flying all night, though."

Sky shrugged. "It wasn't too terrible. But I'm definitely ready to go to bed."

Belari laughed at that. "Sky, you're always ready to go to bed."

XXX

Twilight grabbed a clipboard and his finger slid down across different names of patients. "So these two are the ones who have been the biggest ones to look out for. Airway issues for this kid, and the parents aren't in there, so just keep an ear out, especially if her nurse is busy. The other is on seizure precautions, everything's set up but he's already had one seizure today."

The tech he was handing off to sighed. "Poor kid. I thought they'd gotten that under control."

"Yeah, we all thought that," Twilight remarked sadly before continuing with his report. "This one here is a standby with one assist, usually uses a bedside commode for toileting. This one in room 12 needs a sitter, you might get stuck there a bit. He's not really bad, just developmentally delayed and likes to throw things. He's nonverbal, but he understands more than you think, so just redirect him. Loves to listen to Barney, so I've literally just been playing it on repeat all day. Kept him pretty preoccupied. Rooms 1, 3, 4, and 5 are night baths. The 24 hour QCs have been done, I think you'll just have to do the EKG machines."

"Is the lift still broken?" his coworker asked with dread.

Twilight grimaced. "Uh, yeah. But the only one you'd need it for is room 8, and she's pretty light."

His coworker crossed her arms. "Yeah, light to you, Mr. I-Can-Bench-Press-the-Planet."

Twilight couldn't help the laugh that escaped him, and then he spluttered to try and compensate when she waved him off.

"Get out of here, Twi," she said exasperatedly. "It's gonna be a long night and you don't need to be here for it."

XXX

Wind settled beside his preceptor as the night shift respiratory therapist pulled up a chair. He shifted nervously, knowing that Daphnes had said he would be giving report for one of the patients; this was Wind's first time even attempting to give report.

"All right, go for it," his preceptor's relief said, ready for report.

Wind swallowed and nodded. "Okay, so room 12 is a 54-year-old female, post-op day 1 for a CABGx3. She's still intubated because they can't get a good neuro on her, I think? Like for us she's been fine, breathing spontaneously on the vent, but they're afraid she can't protect her airway if we extubate."

Daphnes held out a small piece of paper to Wind, who jumped, realizing what he'd forgotten. "Oh! Right, her last gas looked good, but her lactate was high so that's another issue she's got going on. She's got a 7.5 ETT, 23 at the lips, cuff's fully inflated and intact. She's on 30% FiO2, PEEP of 8, pressure support."

"Tolerating the vent? Suctioning, any secretions you're getting out?"

Wind's heart skipped another beat as he felt like he was messing everything up. "She's tolerating it, yeah. Hasn't really bucked it all. Because, you know, no neuro and the like. She isn't following commands or anything. They're not sure what's wrong. She doesn't have a lot of secretions, last time I went in she was good. Lung sounds are clear, a little diminished in the bases."

The respiratory therapist finished scribbling notes and then nodded. "Okay, sounds good."

Wind leaned back heavily in his seat as his preceptor gave report on the other two patients they'd been caring for. When he was finished, Daphnes put a hand on Wind's shoulder.

"Good job on report," he said with a smile.

Wind watched him uncertainly. "I thought it sucked."

Daphnes laughed. "It's your first report. You went over the broad strokes. You'll get there, Wind. Good work today."

Smiling, Wind perked up and nodded. "Thanks."

XXX

Hyrule tried not to feel overwhelmed when he brought the stretcher into the large room filled with people waiting for him. He could do his job and take care of the patient, but giving report always made him nervous.

He caught sight of Legend in the corner, who gave him a smile and a nod.

Taking a deep breath, Hyrule stood beside the stretcher alongside a tech while Mo and another nurse moved to the other side of the hospital bed where they'd lined up with the stretcher, grabbing the sheet under the patient.

On three, the four slid the patient from the stretcher to the bed, and people swarmed around her as Hyrule stepped back.

"71-year-old female, stroke alert, last known normal was two hours ago at 1945," Hyrule started loudly so both Legend and the physician could hear him as they worked. "She's got right sided facial droop and arm weakness, as well as aphasia. No neglect or vision changes to my knowledge. She hasn't changed for us over transport, she's just been like this since we got on scene. She can follow commands, can't really say anything but she'll track your movement. Vitals have been stable throughout transport, glucose was 112. I've got bilateral 18s in both ACs, one's saline locked and the other's KVO. Sinus rhythm on the monitor. History of TIA and hypertension. Any questions?"

"Does she have family coming?" Legend asked as he labeled blood samples pulled from one of her IVs.

Hyrule nodded. "Daughter's on her way."

The charge nurse walked in. "CT 3 is ready for you guys."

Legend nodded. "Thanks, Roolie. We'll see you later."

With that, Hyrule stepped out of the room as Legend and a few others guided the patient's bed out of the room and headed off to get a head CT. He blew out a deep breath of relief and made his way to his partner, who was cleaning the stretcher.

"Well that was exciting," Mo commented.

Hyrule had to laugh. "Yeah, no kidding. Maybe we can sleep the rest of the night."

"You really think so?"

"...No."

"Me neither."

XXX

"Well you took your sweet time," Legend grumbled as Warriors plopped into a seat beside him.

"I can't help that morning huddle took an eternity," Warrior fired back, rolling his eyes. "I'm not charge today, and the one who is just stood there for like a solid five minutes figuring out where everyone should go. So what do you have for me?"

"In the twenty years it took you to get here, I discharged one of the patients," Legend explained, getting a good-natured chuckle out of his friend. He pulled up the other patients' charts. "You only have two to worry about. Room 28 is a 24-year-old female, A/Ox4, stable, she's here for generalized body aches, they're doing a flu workup for her so she's on droplet precautions. She's been stable, no known medical history, she's fine in there. I took care of all the orders for her, we're literally just waiting for results."

Warriors nodded, reviewing the chart briefly before Legend moved on to the next patient. "Okay, this other one is the issue. Roolie brought him in about an hour ago, respiratory distress CHF patient, was on CPAP with Roolie and then we intubated him here; he's on propofol for the sedation. He's gotten 60 of IV Lasix and 2 inches of nitro paste, got a Foley in and it's put out like 150 so far, so mostly responsive to the Lasix. But they did an echo on him and his EF is absolute garbage, so even though we're getting fluid off it isn't doing much. They're talking about putting him on a milrinone drip, I've got the tubing and stuff ready if they decide to do it. Big surprise, he's been consistently hypertensive for me, started out at 220/136 now his systolics are lingering in the 160s. He was tachycardic and I think the nitro didn't do him any favors for that, but the good thing about milrinone is that you got reflex bradycardia with it, so hurray."

Rubbing a hand over his face, Warriors grumbled, "You always manage to bring me such great patients, don't you?"

"Hey, I got rid of a stroke patient earlier, you should thank your lucky stars," Legend retorted. "Stroke alerted her and she went straight to surgery. These two are all you got. They're working on getting this one up to the ICU as soon as possible. You've got an 18 in the left AC and a 20 in the right upper arm. Your propofol is going at 30 in the AC. The tube is a 7.0 and it's 21 at the lips. They're alive. End of story."

"Well, that's all that matters, anyway," Warriors muttered, perusing the patient's chart before glancing at his friend. "You okay?"

Legend huffed. "Am I okay? Yeah, sure, we got our asses kicked last night. But it's over. Just going to stay a bit to catch up on charting and then I'm getting the hell out of this nightmare."

"Charting," Warriors said with as much disgust as he could muster. "I hate charting."

"You and me both. Good luck, Wars."

XXX

In the ICU it was typical to have only one to two patients. On a day like this, where staffing was short, however, it was surprising and rarely a good sign when one was lucky enough to be singled with a patient.

It usually meant the patient was a mess.

Four sighed as he grabbed his report sheet and his multicolored pens and sat down beside the nurse who he would be receiving report from. After pulling up the patient's chart, he gave his coworker an affirmative nod that he was ready.

"This is a John Doe, just got up to the unit at 1545 from the OR. He is approximately somewhere in his 30s. Involved in a motor vehicle crash, vehicle versus a tractor. He got extricated and flown here. He was awake and lethargic on scene, apparently, got RSI'd in the field when he couldn't really protect his airway from bleeding with facial trauma. Got 2 units of RBCs in the air, another in the ED, and another in the OR. CT showed right femur fracture, skull fracture with intracranial hemorrhage, multiple facial fractures, rib fractures, and cardiac contusion with tamponade. They placed a bolt in the OR, he v-fib arrested and they shocked him twice. We've given 1L crystalloid for more fluid resuscitation and 1 unit FFP. He's kind of vasoplegic but not by much, still he's on epi at 3 and Levo at 5. Still getting a fluid bolus right now. Ready for systems?"

Four scribbled feverishly, and then he paused. "Wait, who was the surgeon?"

"Time."

Four smiled. Good. That meant the team would be keeping a close eye on the situation. "Okay, I'm ready for systems."

"Neuro, he's a RASS -3 with a goal of -4. He's no longer paralyzed, it was reversed at 1600. He's got the bolt, it's subarachnoid. His ICP has been steady in the..."

The longer the nurse talked, the more Four realized this was going to be a long shift. But he'd get through it. They went through neurological, respiratory, cardiac, gastrointestinal, genioturinary, musculoskeletal, and skin individually before reviewing lab work, and then Four wrote down what points of access he had, including a central line, an arterial line, and three peripheral lines, as well as all the different medications going in through them. After finishing handoff with the other nurse, Four sat in his chair for a moment and just took a deep breath.

Time to get to work.

#I have no idea what kind of handoff pilots do with each other #so I just figured it would be maintenance related lol #at first I was like 'I should make this simple because non-medical audience'#and then I was like 'screw it let's have fun'#so then we just got increasingly more complicated with reports because this is what the boys would be doing for work anyway #so this one's for all the medical nerds #as a general rule ER is more concerned about what's going to immediately kill you while ICU needs to know everything about you #hence the difference in reports #respiratory therapists are concerned about respiratory stuff so they're very focused #techs care for a lot of patients on the unit and have specific things they look out for to assist the nurses and help the patients #I didn't even attempt to do Time's report because I know too little about surgical notes to fake one lol #maybe someday XD #lu in healthcare #writing

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