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#I was gonna do the undateables in the same post
beelsbignaturals · 9 months
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HoL and their preferred cuddling styles?
AN: omg posting twice a day look at me go! I WAS gonna queue this but I have no patience sometimes. Also lmk if anyone is interested in a part two with the undateables!
😴SNUGGLY DEMONS💗
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Lucifer wants to be the little spoon so damn bad but would rather die than admit it. Please just hold him. If you can ignore his grumbles of "Honestly, MC, I am not a child!" One of two things will happen. Either you let go, to which Luci will respond with an indignant. "I didn't say you could stop." Or if you are a little more persistent, after a small huff, Lucifer will relax in your arms. Regardless, you will have an all-powerful demon melting into your embrace by the end of it. He also enjoys when you plop yourself down on his lap while he deals with another never-ending mountain of paperwork. Don't worry, he's happy to work around you if you just promise to stay. It makes the long hours much more tolerable. 
Mammon loves resting his head on you, using your body as a pillow. Doesn't matter if it's your chest, thighs, stomach, or shoulder. You are the great Mammon's personal headrest. That is your sole purpose in life. Why does he like it so much? Well, aside from the fact it usually leads to your hands gently massaging his scalp, it also means he only has to tilt his head just a little to press a quick kiss to your skin. If you do the same, laying your head against him while watching a movie or just in general, Mammon will probably freeze for a moment before his hands find themselves in your hair. 
Leviathan is way too embarrassed and also just overwhelmed by physical contact at first. If you want any hope of something that resembles cuddling before you have managed to convince Levi you're not pretending to be into him as a joke, you will need to initiate. Try linking your arm through his while he is playing on his NintenDevil Switch. He'll short-circuit but recover when you say you just want to watch him play. He can only handle so much tactile stimulation before he taps out and needs to lay in the dark for 1-3 business days to recharge so please just… when he shakes you off without blushing and stuttering that's your cue to listen. Once Levi is comfortable enough with you to sleep in either your room or his bedtub, you become his replacement body pillow. Sometimes, he will subconsciously wrap his tail around you in his sleep.
Satan tends to sit in strange positions while reading so honestly, just… wherever you can fit. Find a way to squeeze into his arms without blocking the book, and you're golden. He's upside-down with his legs over the back of the couch? Lay your head on his stomach. Sitting like some sort of contortionist? Wrap your arms around him from behind. Sitting like a normal person for once? That is an invitation, my friend! It's his way of saying, "Get over here and cuddle me now or else." He tends to stay up late reading so… if you are the type to cuddle at night, I will pray for your poor spine.
Asmodeus loves you, but he needs space. Beauty sleep is important! If you share a bed, he wants to hold your hand to feel close to you, but he has to lay on his back so his overnight mask can do its thing without making a mess. You will just need to get by with entwining your fingers with his as you both drift off. He's happy to cuddle up with you any other time, though! If you are lounging anywhere, your lap is fair game for the Avatar of Lust. He can and will sit on your lap regardless of the situation. It's his favorite spot, after all. 
For practical reasons, Beelzebub prefers to cuddle you in a way that, when he inevitably gets up for a midnight snack, it won't disturb you too much. But if it won't bother you too much, he loves it when you lay on his chest. He will even go the extra mile and carry you along for his late night kitchen raids. He's strong enough that he can hold you in one arm and his food in the other. Also! Cuddling so that his arms are wrapped around you and you are curled up against him, facing the demon. For the love of all that is good in this world! Just let the man hold you! Beel is just a giant teddy bear. Like the one from ikea. Feel free to initiate cuddles any time, any place. Just watch out for an annoyed Belphie who is not impressed you took his spot as Beel's favorite cuddle buddy.
Belphegor moves around so much in his sleep. The ONLY way to stop this is to fully lay your entire weight on top of him. Like a living, breathing weighted blanket. Careful though, he might get so used to your presence that he will demand you join him because he's just oh so tired but he can't sleep without you sprawled out, completely crushing the demon underneath you. Alas, sometimes your efforts are for naught, and in the middle of the night, sloth incarnate has completely flipped the two of you. And… somehow, he's also upside-down? It's rather hard to sleep with a kneecap digging into your ribs. The picture you managed to get of Belphie hugging your legs like a teddy bear is totally worth it.
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avatar-news · 1 year
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Exclusive: Avatar Studios' slate will consist of a new animated movie AND show debuting every year starting in 2025, including the adult Gaang movie and new earth Avatar show in 2025, and the now RE-CONFIRMED ZUKO MOVIE and KYOSHI MOVIE, both now UNDATED
Here’s the followup to yesterday’s big news that a new animated series following the next earth Avatar after Aang & Korra is coming in 2025.
Today, we can provide a more complete picture of the long-term animated slate and some specific updates to previous projects we reported on.
First: the big picture. Starting in 2025, Avatar Studios will release an animated movie to theaters AND an animated show on Paramount+ every year.
The current animated slate is concretely planned to cover the first three years (2025-2027) but there are more projects than slots in development so it will likely continue beyond that as well if the franchise is as successful as we all obviously hope it is, which we’ll get to.
Here’s an idea of what I’m talking about:
2025
Animated movie: adult Gaang - 10.10.2025
Animated show: next earth Avatar
2026
Animated movie
Animated show
2027
Animated movie
Animated show
This is the exact information I have right now from Paramount, what I don’t know is whether the shows will be cumulative, i.e. whether 2026 will have Season 2 of the earth Avatar show AND Season 1 of the 2026 show. I do know that the 2025 show and 2026 show are two different things, so either the 2025 earth Avatar show will be a one-year limited series, or 2026 will have both and 2027 will potentially have all three. (I will say the 2026 show is NOT a mainline entry in the franchise. Bryke said they were exploring different mediums, styles, audiences, and this one is more of a side thing, so I’m personally guessing the earth Avatar show will continue, but that’s just my guess. I haven’t been given permission to share any of the 2026 or 2027 shows/movies yet.)
Onto some more specific things I can share...
The Zuko movie still exists and is separate from the adult Gaang movie
So glad I could finally sort this one out. For a long time it’s been unclear whether the “project with a Zuko-focused story” and the adult Gaang movie were the same thing or not. I can now say that the newest info I’ve gotten from Paramount is that they’re two separate movies. It’s fairly safe to assume that the Zuko movie is still second in the slate, meaning 2026, but without 100% hard evidence I’m gonna call it undated for now, which in this case means maybe 2026, maybe 2027, maybe post-2027.
The Kyoshi movie still exists and is now undated
So we arrive at the big confusion, which I will address in depth below. 😂 But first I wanted to say that based on new info shared with me, a Kyoshi movie definitely was one of the earlier projects in the works earlier this year. Based on the wider picture of the slate I have now, it seems that it has been delayed to outside of the first-three-years slate and is now undated, which in this case means actually undated and post-2027.
(Source for Kyoshi movie *update*: DanielRPK)
(I haven’t heard anything new about Korra stuff in a while so I don’t have an *update*, but I strongly assume she’ll still have movies and/or shows at some point post-2025.)
So there you have it! We now know the cadence of Avatar Studios’ slate is one movie and show per year, and we know both the movie and show for the first year. We also know some of the other projects without certain dates yet.
If you’re just here for the news, that’s what I got for you today. If you’re interested in a long, super nitty-gritty explanation of the whole “Kyoshi movie first” mistake from earlier this year, a mystery I mercifully FINALLY solved thanks to yesterday’s and today’s news, read on!
Finally an explanation for the Kyoshi movie debacle from earlier this year
With the new info I learned and shared yesterday, I finally got the last piece of the puzzle explaining what happened with the whole Kyoshi movie vs Aang movie mistake I made earlier this year.
I’m doing this because I was wondering what happened as much as everyone else, because I would never lie or make something up and have no reason to and no desire to, and I can finally give you an exact play-by-play of what went wrong.
Here’s how it all went down:
1) Avatar News on May 16: “Animated Avatar prequel and Zuko theatrical films in development”
Entirely innocuous, I never said any dates or orders, just that these were two of the projects in development. One thing I want to clear up here is that I never said that they were only working on these two or that they were only working on two at all, just that two of the many projects happened to be these. So the fact that they later publicly said they’re currently planning on releasing three is completely orthogonal to this post, I never said how many they were doing, just... at LEAST two, because we knew of two.
2) Avatar News on June 17: “Paramount and Avatar Studios’ slate of animated Avatar movies coming to theaters: Kyoshi (2024), Zuko (2025), Korra (2026)”
Obviously where it went wrong, but we didn’t know it yet.
So this is what happened.
By June 16th, I had publicly said
A prequel movie was in development
A Zuko movie was in development
Privately, me and my sources knew, but I didn’t have permission to post publicly:
An Aang-era movie was in development
A Korra-era movie was in development
The first movie was targeting a 2024 release
The second movie was targeting a 2025 release
The Zuko movie was definitely the second movie
All of this was directly from Paramount, none of it was a guess in any way.
We didn’t know how many movies total were currently planned or what the first was. We didn’t know whether the Aang-era movie and Zuko movie were the same. We didn’t know if the prequel movie was the same as anything else either.
On June 17th, Avatar Studios announced that they were working on three movies. This meant that we knew the second movie but not the first and the third.
They also released a teaser for their first project exclusively for attendees of the 2022 Annecy International Animation Film Festival. I spoke to one of the audience members (an Avatar fan that already followed me, which is quite common because of how big my accounts are, ffs this is not a conspiracy lol) and they told me what the teaser contained (which is explained in post 2). The main takeaway: they told me it ended on the earthbending symbol. I also had no reason to distrust them as they were a public-facing journalist invited to the festival.
So with all this new info out, I reached out to my sources to see if we could put together what the three movies were (specifically, what the first and third were).
That day, the main new thing I got confirmed was a certain movie in development: a Kyoshi movie (which was probably what the “prequel” movie was, but that was never really a point of controversy).
So we now knew:
A) First-year movie B) First-year earth element project C) Kyoshi movie in development
These were incorrectly conflated into one thing during this game of telephone:
First-year (A+B) Kyoshi (B+C) movie (A+C)
So there you have it... a really boring, mundane explanation lol. I apologize for incorrectly conflating them and thus believing Avatar Studios’ first project was a Kyoshi movie. BUT. At the time it was not spelled out literally as easy as ABC, it was lots of small bits of information from different sources in different contexts. Another really important thing to note is that it would have been nearly impossible for Avatar Studios to make more than one project by 2024, so we assumed there could only be one in the first year, which psychologically made it the natural human outcome for all info about first-year projects to be treated as one first-year project.
I also want to note that I was aware of all this which is why I said very clearly in the post that the order and dates of the projects could change. It was still fact that a Kyoshi movie was in development, a Zuko movie was in development, and a Korra movie was in development. The dates were also fact (well, 2024 and 2025 were, 2026 was a preeetty safe assumption).
And now I’ve explained why the subject of the first movie was wrong, which I only myself finally figured out yesterday with that new info, so I’m personally really glad the mystery was finally resolved.
3) Avatar News on July 22: “Breaking from SDCC: The first Avatar Studios movie coming to theaters in 2024 will no longer be about Kyoshi, but rather Aang! And, exclusive from Avatar News: it will be set in a time period where Team Avatar are young adults!”
Avatar Studios publicly announced the subject of the first movie at SDCC, contradicting my June 17 post.
I always knew the schedule could change so I didn’t really think this was a huge deal. Keep in mind that they literally had a teaser with the earthbending symbol a month earlier. I assumed that in that month the plan had just changed.
At some point between June 17 and July 22, I also learned that the Gaang would be adults in their first Avatar Studios appearance. This gave me the PERFECT place to announce that, and I want to point out that as of today that’s STILL an Avatar News exclusive that hasn’t been contradicted. The official statement is just that it’s “Aang and his friends”. Them being (young) adults is not official and comes only from Avatar News.
4) Avatar News on November 10: “BREAKING: Avatar Studios’ first animated movie, featuring Aang and Team Avatar as young adults, hits theaters on October 10th, 2025”
This was publicly officially announced in the film industry.
As I mentioned before, the launch year target of 2024 was directly from Paramount, I didn’t guess it or make it up (which I also said in the original post!).
Movies take a long time to make so it’s no conspiracy that by the time they made a public announcement the release date was one year later than their earlier internal estimates.
5) Avatar News on December 22: “Exclusive: The next Avatar animated series, featuring the earth Avatar after Aang & Korra, is coming in 2025 from Paramount and Avatar Studios”
and
6) Avatar News on December 23: “Exclusive: Avatar Studios' slate will consist of a new animated movie AND show debuting every year starting in 2025, including the adult Gaang movie and new earth Avatar show in 2025, and the now RE-CONFIRMED ZUKO MOVIE and KYOSHI MOVIE, both now *UNDATED*.”
(You’re reading 6 right now lol.)
FINALLY it all came together.
Their plan is one movie and show every year. This will start in 2025 and it makes complete sense they wouldn’t be able to do two projects by 2024.
We’ve known about the first-year movie since July (adult Gaang), now we know that the first-year show is the next earth Avatar.......... which explains the teaser at Annecy with an earth symbol, and the domino effect that caused everything I explained in section 2 above.
Once again, I’m glad this mystery was finally solved and that anyone who cares is satisfied by the explanation, I know it was insanely satisfying for me to finally get that last piece of the puzzle yesterday!
To any troopers who made it this far, thanks for reading, thanks for supporting Avatar News, and get hype for all the cool projects on their way in the years to come! :)
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no-psi-nan · 2 years
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The Most Dateable Dudes in Saiki K: Survey Results!
With 119 votes from viewers like you, we can finally crown the most dateable dude of the Saiki K main cast...
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Congratulations to Kuboyasu Aren for being the most dateable, and to Nendo Riki for being a close second! 
Fun fact: Nendo was actually ahead for most of the voting time!
Of course, we can’t leave out the rest of the Saiki K dudes, so here’s the lineup:
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More statistics and voter comments under the cut! Thanks everyone for playing, and to everyone with the laugh-out-loud quotes: stop being funnier than me wtf.
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From the main cast...
Saiki Kusuo (16)
he's just like me fr. we wouldn't date we'd just be in a qpr.
He cares
Give coffee jelly and best boifriend
im aroace and so is he so we can just not date eachother
He'll settle for the most average bitch: me.
I'm personally too old to date these high schoolers but Saiki is genuinely the most fun to hang out with, plus he's such a giving and caring person that he'd be a great partner to someone he could trust and that could make him feel human again. It's not saikis fault he exudes capybara vibes.
He's respectful and I like how he doesn't really have expectations for anyone. I would like to play a video game with him at some point in time or just read books in the same room without talking.
Because i love him (though aren is a close second)
He is really considering and caring even if he hides it. He can revive time for any objects and thats a huge help with cleaning and healthcare. And he never judge his friends so thats a huge anxiety relif. And he is ace
I love Saiki!!! Yeah!! Love that guy!!!
Will have no huge problems as his friend and in his proximity, will be in proximity often. focused on me and my problems while trying to escape from dating. Every day a new adventure
Saiki Kusuo (without powers) (2)
without his powers kusuo is just a little guy. so horribly out of touch in a way that isn't obvious but EXTREMELY funny + less psychic fuckery means i don't have to worry about the negatives, and it's not like i was going to expect anything like that from any other partner. plus we're both aspec. it will be a lavender marriage, except neither of us have a secret gay relationship on the side
Nendo Riki (24)
im aroace and he is too and i want to hang out
Himbo. Enough said.
Listen, I'm a kaido stan but the answer is literally nendo. He can cook. He's good w/ animals & kids. His face would scare away creepy guys. His brain is so empty it makes more room for ~love for friends~. All he had to do was get a haircut and the entire class found him irresistible. When love expert Imu told saiki her vision of the perfect man he literally pictured nendo before she mentioned a perm. Wake up people.
NO EXPLANATION NEEDEAD HE'S LITERALLY THE BEST. you just gotta keep it a secret from him 'cause he thinks dating is only for the bad stuff. or explain to him that it's not just for the bad stuff
The lesser of 10 evils
Best Boy ever
The propaganda posted yesterday was very convincing. Also he's genuine and kind
good cook, loyal, friendly, has personality, himbo
he would treat me well i think
hes the only one with the emotional maturity. Saikis too angsty. Kaidous wayyy to angsty. Hairo maybe, but hes never gonna have a good work life balance, he'll put his training over you being his partner. idk whod ever pick toritsuka. kuboyasu was literally in a gang, im gonna give him a bit to learn how to be a functioning member of society. saiko is a bitch. satous boring as fuck, i love him but not as a date. akechi has never learnt how to talk normally in his life, love him but that doesnt make him dateable
Nendo
Kind himbo
Big heart himbo who can cook
He's just gorgeous and manly, he's peak male performance
i was told to put him
is it not obvious?
nendo beloved, no thoughts
I need a weird guy in my life. I need a guy who will lick door handles with me.
tbh honest the most normal. He's only undatable bc he's gross but idk. kuboyasus a close second maybe
Can cook, loves animals, is athletic. The whole package except for his haircut.
he is kind :)
Kaido Shun (10)
He's super sweet, shy, throws himself in to protect people, and he's a chuuni dork and I think that's a feature not a bug 😌 Also his studious nerdy side is cute. I will stand by this.
I might be choosing kaidou bc I'm a lesbian and he's the most femm guy ngl
He's absolutely adorable and I feel like he would be reliable.
He be cute
idk bro i just like pathetic dudes. i feel like he'd be fun to play video games with and bond over our terrible moms lol
Least likely to cause me physical or psychological damage over the course of our relationship. He's so awkward with romance dates would probably just be LARPing Jet Black Wings, seriously doubt anything romantic would actually happen and y'know what I'm cool with that. I wanna rp as my edgy middle school OCs too cringe culture is dead
We have similar levels of goblin- I'd say saiki but that is the most aroace guy I've ever seen. Love to be in a qpr with him tho 👍
he's so pathetic <3
Hairo Kineshi (13)
i feel like this isn't even a question like??? He's the obvious right choice. He'd treat you right
he's nice :)
hes not my fave BUT hes the most normal if you don't count satou, and satou is a little TOO normal so itd be boring. also hes hot and popular and he would put a lot of effort into the relationship
Drinks respect women juice (unlike some), not stuck up nor unattractive
He's break my heart w the most motivational speech ever +_+
He's a good guy, he'd never lie, and would be his partner's biggest cheerleader.
Hairo is the most likely and reasonable option to choose out of all the Saiki K men. We all know how Saiki reacts to others trying to date him. Nendo's oblivious, and Kaido is very kind but hes not ready for romance. Toritsuka is.... Toritsuka. Saiko tries to buy people. Aren is too much of a try-hard. I can't really imagine how Touma or Satou would be relationships. Hairo is the most respectful and compassionate man in Saiki K. He listens to people and speaks whats on his mind (even if its a little blunt). He can be much but thats ok
he's the most normal and least worst
he is so supportive and even if hes rlly intense he would be such a good bf
he's nice. & hot i guess (if you're into that)
He is the most considerate and seems to be the most ready for a relationship, though the bar is very low.
Toritsuka Reita (3)
;) i love me a man who is Awful (im gay)
Kuboyasu Aren (31)
hes not too much of an idiot (unlike nendou, kaidou(im sorry lmao), saiko) + he respects women (unlike toritsuka) + i dont headcanon him as aroace (unlike akechi and saiki) + hes not boring (im sorry satou) (+ i dont deserve hairo tbh)
Side characters think Saiki is bland, Nendo is so ugly that nobody will give him a chance (:() , Kaido has his whole chuuni side to him which is annoying for most (:(), Hairo is Hairo, Toritsuka is Toritsuka, Saiko would probably be third place because of his money status but he is still insufferable to a lot of people, side characters know that Satou is bland (though that could be a good thing who knows, he is my 2nd place) and Akechi would just talk and talk and talk which most people would find annoying. Kuboyasu is pretty good at masking his delinquent side nowadays and has become just an average guy who isn't bland. Some people also prefer bad boys, so there's that I guess.
He could drive me around with his motorbike and could wrestle with me, that's really all i need in life. If powerless Saiki could still ride a motorbike he'd be my second choice, because we actually have a lot in common. Or maybe that's not a good thing…
who else tbh
he's a badass
Can start shit and hide behind him.
Season two episode two where he gets a fake love letter he admits his loyalty to love and care about his spouse forever and is willing to just drop school to marry them. Also he's really handsome and strong and good at art
Loyal. Will beat up anyone who decides to look at me in a bad way.
With how he reacted to one single (fake) love letter I don't doubt the fact that he would take care of his s.o. very well
Seem like he would be fun to hang around without it being absolutely insane...i think...maybe...
LOOK AT THE DUDE!! mans was ready to marry and be loyal to a woman his whole life over a single love letter absolute husband material I tell ya plus, he's trying to be good
He would be DEVOTED to his partner. He's cute. Also bisexual.
Big and buff and kind
An all around good guy. Has proven he isn't afraid of commitment and sacrifices for a life together,  even dropping out. Is more than capable of protecting his partner, and also understands that his fighting lifestyle could put undue stress on his partner and their relationship and is willing to fully stop for them. He is respectful and has basic notions of what is and isn't socially appropriate, more than can be said about other members of the cast. He isn't desperate, or a pushover, a relationship with him is unlikely to be average to the point of boredom and he isn't excessively embarrassing to be with in public.
He’d make a genuine effort to be a good bf and make you happy. also weirdly i think he's the most normal one
Aren is a kind and loyal person, to his friends, his family and especially his lover. Aren doesn't need to constantly rely on people to become a better person, we've already seen from when he first appeared that he showed great discipline and restraint when he was trying to move on from his old delinquent life. His lover doesn't have to worry about about him 24/7, knowing that Aren can restraint himself and stay out trouble, he only ever really gets into fights with people that are awful. He always looks like he gives strong hugs and is very handsome.
He's hot n would treat me right. Need me a man that can kick someone's ass for me
hnnfg,,;,
Hes respectful but can also kick ass. He drinks his respect women juice everyday.
deeply dedicated to his potential partner + great at violence
H e's a dedicated and passionate guy.  He's someone who's actively trying to better himself, and personally I find that really admirable and kind of attractive dldhldhskd.
Remember that time when someone sent him a (prank) confession letter, he was so nervous and serious it was so funny and cute. Honestly all I could think about at the time was that I would love to date a guy who would take the relationship seriously, but still be nervous that I can tease him a lot lol.
The only con with Aren that I can think of is his background, realistically I dont think I want to date someone who has gang relations (not v sure. been a while since i read the manga, i dont remember if Aren was really in a legit gang or just a delinquent gang sorry. if he was in a legit gang, id be more scared).
Uhh other dateable characters I like are Nendou, Saiko Metori and Teruhashi Kokomi. Tbh Nendou's would be THE BEST boyfriend. But the reason why he's second place to me is bc he's too tall for me. Seriously. I'm 5ft and a half. I dont see what you guys see in 6ft men. I am Not craning my neck to kiss or even Look at my man. So sorry T_T
I also really enjoyed seeing Saiko slowly redeeming and becoming nicer and caring towards the end of the series. Honestly so heartwarming. I like him. Would date him actually, despite the attidude. I've dealt wih worse lol.
As for Teruhashi, honestly she's the one I can imagine what it's like dating her best. I can go on for much longer here but I already think my response is too long T_T. Just uhh yk if theres a girls section I maybe would pick her lrbrkrbkdndm.
Because I might get along with him better than anyone else. We also have the same goal of spending our lives loving one person.
Saiko Metori (1)
no one else is gonna vote for him <3 actual answer: he's cute he's rich and i can fix him
Satou Hiroshi (11)
the rest are insane i think. i love  them but if i were to date any of them there would always be something.  second best option would either be kaido or kuboyasu i think
Least bad option, and dating him  seems like a guarantee for a good relationship.
he's just a normal, nice dude who  won't drag you into insane situations or get you arrested or whatever
Respects women.
Satou? Nice normal dude, Ideal nice  quiet life with him and a nice simple romance that I want :)
not much will happen, you get  together, go on average dates, meet family, live average lives, over all  it'll be ok, a break up will probably be just as average too
normal. just a guy
He is the most normal out of them  LMAO (I love the others so so much but holy hell dating any of them would be  atrocious askdjksjd)
Idk man he's just a guy (not  blorbo)
I'm gonna sound like Saiki but he's  average and we have common interests. Not a lot of drama but life's not  exactly dull around him either. He can care the conversations but he'll also  let you ramble on.
Bro is the only man thatd treat me  right
Akechi Touma (7)
I need someone to ramble more than me... Also I need someone to deduce what happens next in some fanfictions that isn't finished yet because I can't wait and doesn't have insane deduction skill. I mean Kuusuke can do it but Kuusuke might kill me so no. Also I need more Akechi ramble, I like those, got me interested in blood-type personality pseudo-science influence in japan, and since Akechi asked people to not harass him because of his blood type, it would mean that he is likely not type A (+and-). His purple eyes also implies that he has actually some supernatural skills, since traditional folktales associate this with eyes colored purple. It is also a deep dark purple. Interestingly, his pupils dilates whenever he goes into rambling mode. This is to be noted, people in sknpn dilates their people when they're furiously crazy (see Kurumi). Crazy Akechi? I am all here for it. Also he would be useful if I want to blackmail someone, so I would of course try my best to be on his side. I am not the brightest person in the world, but I am not stupid either. Next would be Kaidou. Kaidou is a totally relatable dude, since I have the same weight and same height as him (159cm and 45kg). Kaidou has a normal caring mom, who is overbearing but very well care about him genuinely. He is the only mom who Kusuo has never say anything negative about (Midori being a ""capitalist pig"", Kurumi being ""an idiot""). I would do anything to have his mom as my mom, though my mom is good enough, just a little bit more physical. Kaidou is also basically as weak as me (sadly), and would share a passion for hating sport. I am interested in drawing his fantasies and would happily be with him, since he is a sweet, pure, genuine person. I think I should end this here since there're more comments and questions to answer below I suppose.
He can info dump on me as whitenoise to combat my tetanus. I could Info dump back on occasion. I think it would be fun. Plus he's good with bugs.
I dont want to date him im an adult i just want to be friends with this dude thats all
I have problems
is datable meant to mean for everyone? cause this answer kinda hinges on the fact that me and him have two flavors of neurodivergence that i think  would complement each other but thats just in my specific case. which is weird because im also aroace i just think wed get along?? i would give him a litol kissy on his head and then we'd go on wikipedia dates or something. i wish Akechi Touma was real because i absolutely would question my romantic/platonic attraction over him (something not a lot of people irl can claim ive done for them)  But if this question means datable in the sense of like, ideal guy i would recommend to others? it would probably be Nendo. hes sweet and doesnt have as much baggage (for lack of a better word) as the others. He would treat you right and hes tall which i guess is a characteristic people are interested in, no judgement to them of course lol
 Best of the Rest
Matsuzaki the Gym Teacher (24)
well matsuzaki is a nice guy and also i rewatched his introduction episode a few days ago so
another man who would treat you right
He's hard working (seemingly runs PK academy himself), cares deeply about his students, stable career
trustworthy, athletic, honorable
I wouldn't date him personally(see age), but he has good intentions
hes athletic with a stable job and idk i just get the vibe hed treat me right, y'know?
Im an introvert, he got my back
dilf. sorry the stubble and the lines under his eyes got to me.
He's cool and I like him.
you know. miss saiki close second
would NOT date him personally as i am not interested in people with DILF energy but he seems like a very good partner. go king shit.
he's neat
Respectful dude
himbo
dilf
He's cool.
look i just have issues
dilf energy
dilf
Similar reasons to Hairo; he's the most mature one and is very respectful, even if it does get lost in translation sometimes.
Id date Matsuzaki. Honestly dont know if we would be compatible but I really do like honest dudes. Remember that one time when some kids pranked him with a confession letter, and he really waited for someone to show up and rejected them kindly. Dude. I was like. Woah. That. That was genuinely so cool. That was genuinely so attractive. What the hell. I would love to date someone like that. I would also consider the mangaka, though honestly I feel like we are too similar it would almost be looking at a mirror (despite looking like complete opposites T_T). Hey maybe it would work out? But like. We could also be besties.
Kusuke Saiki (17)
Alright hes the worst and I want to study him
My taste in men is horrible
The insanity
He be psycho
Anime Kusuke, just to state. HES SO. AND FOR WHAT. thats it thats my truth
The mad scientist tm aesthetic
Brains?? rich?? idk man
He'd actually be awful to date he's just insane and I like that in a man
get married. high risk high reward. i am a lesbian though and if he was a lesbian mad scientist he would be extremely hot. but as is I'm just all about planning my divorce outfit and attempting to dodge certain death
Korosensei from Assassination Classroom (17)
I was going to choose Kusuke, because I've slowly realized that he's my blorbo, though he's trash. He's smart and I like passionate guys,,, if we could, redirect it a bit maybe. But then I saw Korosensei and all bets are off. Reaper form is hot, and as a teacher he's just so caring, and again, the passion for me.
Alien boy that likes teaching, what is there not to love?
Everyone else I either didn't know, didn't remember enough about to know if they were safe, or knew to be DEFINITELY not safe. Don't know much about Assassination Classroom, but my sister read the manga so I asked her if he was a decent person and she said yes. Asked if hanging out with him risked damage to my physical or mental health, she said as long as I was a good guy I'd be fine (and possibly benefit mental health?) so. He's probably good.
Korosensei is literally the ideal guy
Process of elimination
I uh,, I um, well, ya know ?
with or without tentacles he's still care for you and it wouldn't be as overbearing as the other options. I was originally going to choose Kusuke but I don't want to end up a lab rat
Shiragami Fudekichi (Mangaka of Silent Cyborg) (12)
I'll be honest here: I should have voted for Mr. Matsuzaki, but Fudekichi is really, really good-looking. I can be very shallow.
he's a mood
Could draw you.
Introverted artist thats says no to women objectification? Yes please. And he is a great artist and writer that even has a team of helpers and thats really impressive, u know?
hes pretty
he looks a little pathetic and i think its funny
Chono the Magician (7)
i want to roll him up into a ball and shoot hoops with him
i think itd be funny
Only one without any obvious terrible flaws preventing him, and he does seem to have both a stable job and a good amount of creativity and loyalty.
Nice dude! Has his life together!
He's sane
Kuniharu Saiki (6)
im about to embark on the greatest "i can fix him" project of all time
Kuniharu is hard-working, even if he is quiet useless. He is very loyal, and to be fair he does manage to provide for his family in the end with his shameless shoe-licking. He seems like the type to be devoted also my hands are tired. He is weak and won't be able to hurt a fly, and sweet person with questionable litterature skill. Nonetheless he is an admirable enough person, who enjoys the lovely domestic environment at his house rather than focusing on his career. Focusing on his career for money, etc would probably end at best as a normal divorce, in the workacoholic society that they live in. Thug-smile Shirigami is my scond choice. Young, successful and the best trait: he is so funny lmao. Just look at his passive aggressive doings towards Kuniharu. How could one not respect this man lmao.
There must be a reason why he bagged a baddie
he'd lick my boots 😜
idk i just picked the person i knew it's been a hot minute since i watched the ol saik
The sniper Saiki summoned (6)
he does a good job :)
snipers are hot
gun
Ike-san the Magician's Assistant (4)
He just chillin ya know
Arguably the most fuckable on this list
 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ seems nice
Iguchi Takumi (the new teacher from Reawakened) (4)
my standards for men are: is not a pathetic creature or a creep
He seems nice ig, even if he looks a lil creepy he's got his heart in the right place.
Because Kuniharu is a taken man, and, though sweet, a tad pathetic. Iguchi Takumi is prejudged as a pervert every day by society and still he doesn't let it get in the way of providing the best guidance he can to his students. He is fair, not a pushover, not over strict, gives second chances and forgives children easily for the mistakes children usually make. He's patient, respectful, has never been condescending to the students, goes up and above in his dedication to his work. These are all qualities of a high quality man. He works in his true passion, and I bet he'd do his very best to maintain a healthy work/life balance if he finds someone to share his life with. His students would probably go first, but a man with such ironclad priorities is also respectable and admirable.
Rean Kuboyasu (3)
Dilf.
I like Matsuzaki and mr. Ike but rean seems to be in the healthiest marriage of the show. Him and his wife kicked ass together, taught their kid what they know, then all turned to the straight and narrow path as a family. A tattooed family man who can ride a motorcycle and saves kittens on the side of the road.
 Aren gotta get it from somewhere
The Café Mami Manager (2)
He seems like a nice guy. The others are all a bit quirky for some people, especially Kuusuke, Makoto and Aren's dad
Can deal with cockroaches. A little emotionally unstable but who isn't. Plus perpetual sweets and coffee shop dates. I wouldn't mind working with him in his business or being a girlboss taking care of the bills so he can maintain his business.
Kuniharu Mannequins (2 for the price of 1) (2)
They can't backtalk
Other (2)
Kokomi Teruhashi – she’s pretty
Mr. Kaidou – Wooed Mrs Kaidou and also works a high end job.
The sumo wrestler Saiki summoned (1)
WRESTLE MEEEEE!!!
Peanuts Ueda (1)
No Votes
Makoto Teruhashi
Takahashi (classmate)
Nendo Sr
The magician Saiki summoned
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centrally-unplanned · 10 months
Text
Let's post some of the cool stuff I learned from reviewing the FLCL Initial Proposals and Draft Story Outlines! Some big thoughts to start:
As is mentioned in other sources (Like FLCLick Noise) and implicitly confirmed in the draft material, FLCL was always going to have 3 'main' girls; its essentially a marketing decision, more girls = more sellable appeal, and while its no rule or anything having just 2 doesn't really let a product cover its 'type' bases in the 90's anime world. However, as FLCL was conceived in the initial drafts, Haruko and Mamimi were there right from the beginning but there was no third girl. Ninamori is added later, in the second version of the "New Anime Proposal", her name scrawled in hand-written on the otherwise typed document:
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The first version of this document is from March 31st, 1999 (the revisions are undated) - and production would start soon after. It is probably part of why Ninamori's role is much smaller than Mamimi and Haruko's, as it was not originally her story. Though funnily enough you might not have known that from the marketing; in the three Newtype spreads that appeared in the lead up to the show’s release in April of 2000, Ninamori got a full one to herself:
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(Interestingly, in the pre-release marketing it seems like Mamimi gets the most focus; I am only guessing but I imagine that has a bit to do with the fact that in the early drafts her role was a little more equal to Haruko’s, and only faded a little as the production went on)
Anyway, all of the characters of FLCL changed over the course of its conception, as one would expect. This isn’t in the FLCL initial notes & proposal, but from the 2005 “Gainax Interviews” book Tsurumaki discusses how he “pitched” the idea of Haruko, and described her as like the character Kuzuhara from the 1997 sex & shock comedy manga Enomoto.
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Kuzuhara is cold, stern, bossy, and also a closeted dominatrix because of course she is. But that..isn’t like Haruko at all is it? You see the elements, sure, Haruko is bossy and aggressively sexual, but she is an emotional chaos gremlin and would never be caught dead in the dark, formal attire of Kuzuhara. Haruko started here, but by no means did she end here.
[I am aiming to acquire a copy of this book, will see if it has more details on this thread]
Also a cool note, since Enomoto has absolutely no presence in the west, there is a tiny chance you saw Kuzuhara in a random omake new years comic Fujimoto drew for Chainsaw Man:
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Which is quite amusing to me given that Fujimoto once described Chainsaw Man as "a wicked version of FLCL" - FLCL fans are absolutely a Type of Guy.
But back to FLCL - Haruko moved past Kuzuhara, but Tsurumaki didn’t - buried in the “Ideas” section of the March 1999 New Anime Proposal is this bullet point:
Part-timer girl at the bakery. Pretty girl with glasses. But a Kuzuhara-san (the Enomoto character). Private life is a mystery.
This isn’t Haruko, Haruko is named at this point in development. It's an idea for a “third girl”, this one an adult (the English doesn’t reflect that, but the Japanese makes that clear) modeled after the same character. It is also from a time when Ninamori didn’t yet exist in the story; this is from the first version, before she was written in.
While Haruko does not share a lot of traits with Kuzuhara, Ninamori actually kindof does? Not the dominatrix side obviously, but FLCL just isn’t that kind of story, that wasn’t gonna carry over. She is bossy, cold, reserved, but with that kuudere-style ‘secret affectionate’ side. Plus, “wearing glasses” was one of Ninamori’s earliest aesthetic traits and her whole theme, and this is the first mention of a glasses girl in the concept notes.
Ninamori is certainly not this girl (she is a 12 year old classmate, for one), but I think this is a proto-Ninamori in the story role sense - a sign of experimentation around the “third girl” concept. Tsurumaki clearly liked Kuzuhara, wanted to preserve Haruko’s initial influence somewhere, and so tried to fit her in here. And while not too much of it did survive in the end, enough came out in Ninamori that you can draw a line from Kuzuhara through the bakery girl to her.
Which is, uh, cool, I think that's neat. Hope you did too!
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tapedsleeves · 1 year
Note
for the WIP game, tripped and fell on you if you haven't done it already (if you have, haunted max AU, I always love the imagery you post for that one!)
hiiiiiii, I haven't done any of them yet so you're good gonna put them under a readmore so ppl don’t gotta scroll
tripped and fell on you - the hookup to enemies to lovers 6167 (Mark Stone/Max Pacioretty) au where!!! for some reason, the summer before Mark gets drafted, he hooks up with max for like. three days straight, and THEN they have their whole like. thing where they're rivals (mutual rivals, even) and then they both end up in Vegas.
Mark is 18 in this fic and Max is about 21:
But Max isn’t storming off in a huff, rolling his eyes and muttering like the other people who have decided he wasn’t worth their time have done before. He’s dragging Mark along, hand warm and firm on Mark’s wrist. He doesn’t look angry - well, more angry than strong eyebrows and a serious face does in general, anyway. It’s a serious face, Mark thinks, but no less pretty for it. His lashes are long and dark, fanning over his cheeks when he blinks. 
Max looks over, acknowledging Mark’s attention with a small upturn of his mouth. Mark thinks, a little stupidly, that he’d probably follow Max anywhere, right now. 
Max doesn’t drag him all the way back to the parking lot, instead stopping short at the narrow opening between two buildings. He stops abruptly, so Mark almost topples over him, but Max reroutes his momentum and pushes him into the narrow alleyway. 
Before his mouth can form any protests, Max has him pressed against the brick wall, rough against his t-shirt. Max lets go of his wrist, and instead moves to put one hand behind Mark’s neck, and the other on his shoulder. He looks at Mark, almost eye to eye. 
“Uhm.” Mark finally says. His brain stalling out on what Max’s plan is. Mark’s blood is thumping through his brain, a one word refrain - kiss kiss kiss. 
and, just for kicks: the haunted max au! (titled tentatively, no home for a hollow man) I have so so little of this one actually written. it's mostly just vibes in my head lol. (a 6167 hanahaki/half amnesia (part of the surgery to remove the flowers also erased the memories of the person Max loved) heavy on the angst! Max thinks, very truly, that he's haunted. This part is from where Max reads Mark's journal, and then, later, after they become nameless pen pals.
Mark’s Journal, excerpted, page 6, undated. 
It’s all supposed to be fine, you know? It’s always been fine before. People come and go, good people, bad people. Exceptional people. It’s never felt like this, though. Like a hole in my chest. Like a blind spot that I don’t even remember is there until something hits. Or doesn’t. 
I hate it. 
There, I admit it. I know Kelly is my friend, but he made a stupid decision. A series of them, culminating in the dumbest decision of them all like a big avalanche of shit. 
And the only person I want to talk to is the one person I can’t talk about.
– 
Max looks at the letter, holding the paper in his hands. He can see where M had scribbled something out - can feel the indentations on the paper, and read what had been written underneath. 
“I love him. I know he’s right there, but he’s gone. And I still love xxx him.” After that, the letter had picked up back where it left off, talking about the Vegas Powerplay, and how it seemed to be limping along. The part that was marked out with x’s was impossible to make out, the paper so saturated with ink it had warped and almost torn. 
Max thinks about that crossed out line, and grabs a pen. 
I don’t know you, which makes this easier to tell to you than anyone else: It feels like I died, but my body kept going. Am I even here? I must be, because I’m writing this letter. But am I the same as I was? I’m not even sure what happened to me. Every time I try to think about it, all I can see is how I am now, like a two-way mirror. Is he on the other side watching the things I do? Does he look at me and see the way that I am? Is this what he wanted? Does he know why I feel so empty? Did he feel whole? 
Was he happy? If he was, why am I like this now? 
The doctors say everything looks fine, normal, good. Every time they say that, I see the pity in their eyes. Poor Max, he survived. That’s not how it usually goes, I don’t think. 
I hate not knowing how things were and still missing them.
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petnews2day · 1 year
Text
Anand Mahindra shares dog video, asks followers to make T20 World Cup predictions
New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-news/dog-news/anand-mahindra-shares-dog-video-asks-followers-to-make-t20-world-cup-predictions/
Anand Mahindra shares dog video, asks followers to make T20 World Cup predictions
All cricket lovers in India are hooked to the ongoing ICC Men’s T20 World Cup matches. On Sunday, India beat Zimbabwe by 71 runs and Pakistan beat Bangladesh by five wickets to secure semifinal spots.
On Sunday, Anand Mahindra, the chairman of Mahindra Group, shared a video of a dog and used it to ask for T20 World Cup predictions from his 9.9 million Twitter followers. In the undated video that he shared, a dog is seen oddly balancing itself between a wall and a tree. It appears that the dog is stretching and in the process peaking across the wall.
While sharing this video, the industrialist wrote, “I asked this pooch to look into the future and tell me who would be in the finals of the #T20WorldCup2022 It figured out this ingenious way to look over the ‘wall’ of the present. What do you think it saw? ”.
I asked this pooch to look into the future and tell me who would be in the finals of the #T20WorldCup2022 It figured out this ingenious way to look over the ‘wall’ of the present. What do you think it saw? 😊 pic.twitter.com/a5H5OPRiVU
— anand mahindra (@anandmahindra) November 6, 2022
— Saravana Prabu K.M. (@maski_sara) November 6, 2022
Sir look like all fix india n Pakistan in final …. because icc want to earn money 🤑 n this both team is hot in favour in cricket world so deffenatly both gonna play final 🙏🏻
— mvc (@mangeshchokshi1) November 6, 2022
I asked the same question from my dog #panther He said i love to see #INDvPAK ♥️ #T20WorldCup pic.twitter.com/L3YOzyiA4z
— Kapilksharma (@itzkapz) November 6, 2022
The teams using which the broadcasters can mint money which they would have spent in getting those teams to the final as there were hardly any audience to watch even their home team matches.
— chandrashekar (@shekar_gc) November 6, 2022
Replying to Mahindra’s tweet, a Twitter user jokingly wrote, “It couldn’t see much it seems Sir… But from what it could hear, it’s guessing Pakisthan is in the finals…Well, it’s just a guess though… Never know. My guess: India vs Pakistan”. Echoing a similar sentiment, another person remarked, “it saw/heard 2 neighbors arguing.. So cud be an india/pak final ”. [sic]
Anand Mahindra has often expressed his love for cricket publically. In January 2021, he gifted Mahindra Thar SUVs to six cricketers who played in the India-Australia Test series that India won.
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joonie-beanie · 4 years
Text
The Demon Brothers + College AU + (Cliche?) First Meetings
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So an anon sent me the above ask, and it may have gotten a little out of hand ;;;
I also kind of switched it up and made it college instead. Hopefully the meetings I came up with are still somewhat cliche! Or, at the very least, cute lol
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Lucifer:
You’re running late for class on the first day of the semester and he holds the elevator door open for you when he sees the desperate look on your face, and how you’re making a dash for the closing doors.
“Thank you,” you breathe out as you try to get ahold of yourself, hoping that the tall, handsome male beside you doesn’t see or hear the way you’re struggling for air. (It’s 8am, okay? Your body isn’t ready to be running so early.)
“Which floor do you need?” he asks, smiling politely. You respond “four”, and he hums to himself while hitting the button.
When he doesn’t press a different button, you assume he’s heading to the same floor.
“Thanks, by the way,” you say, flashing him a small smile. “You really saved my ass.”
“No thanks needed,” he responds, gaze shifting to look at the small screen above the door. The second floor moves past with a quiet beep. Silence falls for a couple of seconds.
“May I ask what class you’re heading to?”
“Ah, it’s a psychology lab,” you respond, laughing to yourself after a beat. You pull your phone from your pocket, trying to find the screenshot you’d taken of your schedule. “I signed up for this one because Rate My Professor said the TA is hot.”
“Oh? Is that so?” You’re not paying attention, so you don’t see the smirk that tugs at his lips.
The next moment, the elevator stops and the two of you step out together. You exit first, flashing the male one last smile before you turn your attention to your phone, double checking the room number. Lucifer brushes past you without saying a word, and you don’t realize that you’re headed in the same direction until you glance up, and find him holding the classroom door open for you.
“After you,” he says, and while you’re confused, you dip your head in thanks and make your way in. Since you’re one of the last ones in the classroom, you get stuck sitting in the front row.
As you unpack your things, Lucifer steps to the head of the room and sets his computer bag down onto the desk.
“Good morning, class,” he says, his gaze shifting to you when you look up and see that it’s him who is speaking--a vibrant blush rising to your face as you recall what you’d told him in the elevator.
“My name is Lucifer, and I will be the TA for this lab.”
Mammon:
You’re in the large, open eating area at the campus student union when he bumps into you.
Instantly, the greasy, cheesy pizza on your tray jumps up and lands on the front of your shirt. You freeze in shock, wide eyes glancing down as the personal pizza slides down your chest before flopping back onto the tray.
“Oi, watch where you’re going,” a voice says behind you, and you slowly turn around to face the apparently dumbass man who doesn’t even have the sensibility to apologize to you.
Despite that fact that he sounds pompous, you can’t deny that his styled white hair, and pierced ears are kind of charming.
“You backed into me,” you tell him, attempting to keep your calm. You almost lose it when you see his eyes rake down to your chest, staring at the likely un-washable stain on the fabric. He stares much too long, and you’re just about to curse at him when he speaks up again.
“Uhhh...,” he raises a hand to sheepishly rub at his neck, and when you look closely, you see that a blush has spread across his face. “Y-ya know what, maybe it is my fault...can I, um, buy ya another pizza?”
You blink, surprised at the sudden turn around in his attitude.
“That would be nice,” you say honestly, and suddenly he’s smiling, hopping back into the pizza line, which is right beside where the two of you had collided.
“I-If ya want, I’ll lend you my jacket because of, ya know, your shirt,” he says, motioning to your obviously ruined top. You cock an eyebrow at him. 
“You’d give a stranger your jacket?”
 “Well...I’m kind of hoping that you’ll have lunch with me, and we won’t be strangers for long,” he mumbles, gaze shying away. “Or, ya know, that I can get your number at least.”
“You’re really pushing it,” you tell him with a laugh, and you can see his feathers ruffle. He’s obviously embarrassed at you calling out his flirting. “But...maybe we can eat lunch together. Since you’re paying.”
He blinks, shocked at your words, but soon breaks into a smile. Self-satisfied, he continues grinning stupidly even as the cashier calls him up. However, when he pulls out his wallet, swipes his card, and it comes back denied...
“Uhh...can you pay this time? I PROMISE I’ll pay you back.”
You sigh, and debate throttling him.
Levi:
You sit next to him in a lecture hall, and can’t help but notice that the background on his laptop is Sailor Moon. 
When you reach down to dig a notebook out of your bag, you also see the number of anime and video game pins decorating the front of his backpack.
While you don’t tend to talk to strangers, you can’t help but say something.
“Hey, um,” you start, catching his attention. He freezes, amber eyes shifting to look at you--wide with surprise. You smile, doing your best to come off as casual, and friendly. “I noticed all the pins on your backpack. Do you like anime? I started watching Demon Slayer the other week, and I’m in love with it.”
“I...you...,” his surprise shifts to wonder as he regards you. The slightest blush rises on his cheeks. “You watch anime???”
“Yeah,” you laugh. “Is that so weird?”
“N-no, I guess not,” he mumbles, his hands fiddling with the cuffs of his hoodie. You wonder if you’ve made a mistake by talking to him, since he seems so shy--
“Do you play video games too??” he breaks you out of your thoughts as he scoots forward, eyes sparkling. He’s whispering hurriedly, eyes briefly straying to glance at the time on his laptop. “I recently started playing Doki Doki Literature club, and it’s crazy. I love RPG games, and Indie games too--like IB, and Mad Father. Witches House is also good. Of course, I’ll give pretty much any video game a chance, but--”
At that moment, the professor steps up and addresses the class. Levi’s words cut off, and his blush deepens as he suddenly realizes that he’d gone on a mini fanboy rant. However, you just smile at him, hoping that you come off reassuring, and turn to your notebook.
During the lecture, you’re too busy taking notes to notice the way he sneaks glances your way. And when the class finally ends, and you move to repack your belongings, you look up to find him staring at you.
“Is something on your mind?” you ask him. 
“I...um...I-I was wondering if I could get your contact info. You know...f-for class stuff, and maybe, if..if you wanted to, we could also talk more about anime…?”
“Sure!” you say, and he blinks, apparently shocked by your willingness. The two of you proceed to exchange emails and phone numbers, and by the time you arrive at your next class 15 minutes later, 6 new text messages (about anime, video games, and the like) from Levi are lighting up your phone screen.
Satan:
He’s volunteering at the library when you approach him, desperate for help finding a textbook you need to scan for a class. You’ve looked everywhere, but still can’t find it.
“You do realize that this code is indicating that this textbook is online, right? Not physically in the library?” he asks you, a bit of amusement swimming in his eyes when he hands your phone back to you--the screen open to an email your professor had sent a few days before.
You feel heat rise on your cheeks. “Ah, nope. Did not realize...”
“It happens often, actually. I’m sorry for teasing, I shouldn’t have” he says, smiling at you. “If you want, you can come around the desk, and I’ll show you how to access the textbook online. That way, you won’t be confused next time.”
“Thank you,” you sigh, scooting your way around the desk. Satan pulls up a spare chair beside him, and your knee accidentally knocks against his as you take a seat. 
“Here, you just have to search for it in the library portal,” he says, and you attentively watch as he guides you through the online website. However, when he starts going off into a spiel on all of the other cool resources and books available to students online, your attention strays.
You notice the copy of Jane Eyre open on the desk beside the computer. 
“Are you reading a book that’s assigned in high school AP Lit?”
He blinks in confusion, but immediately goes on the defense when he notices where you’re looking.
“Hey, Jane Eyre is a classic. And the help desk is far too slow some days. I need something to keep me busy.”
“Hmm, I guess that’s fair,” you respond, smiling. You move to grab your bag--pressing to your feet. “I can’t blame you either, considering I actually enjoyed reading it once upon a time. The Great Gatsby was probably my next favorite.”
“Personally, out of all the high school literature, I enjoyed Fahrenheit 451,” he responds, grinning when he sees the disgruntled look on your face at hearing the name of the book.
“Really?? I still have no idea what it was about.”
He’s quiet for a moment. You turn to look at him, and find him regarding you with interest. 
Satan smiles.
“Can I buy you a coffee?”
Asmo:
Asmo is working a booth about safe sex in the student union when you approach, hoping to get free condoms (or maybe even donate to support the organization, considering it’s a good cause).
“Well, hello there, gorgeous,” he says, smiling at you as you survey the goodies and pamphlets laid out on the table. He comes off as a little flirty, but mostly friendly, and well intentioned. “Are you here to buy one of our prettily shaped chocolates?”
He motions to the cup full of vagina-shaped chocolates on a stick. Your eyebrows raise. Huh.
“Well, that’s not why I stopped, but I may need to buy one now,” you laugh, making him smile. Asmo leans forward onto his elbows, his eyes twinkling up at you.
“Are you here for the condoms then? If so, feel free to take a handful. We have a ton prepared. People on this campus fuck like bunnies, honestly.”
You laugh. “Oh? Well, good on you guys for protecting all of the precious, needy students.”
He nods sagely, moving to gather you a few of the wrapped condoms, along with some educational reading material. “Can’t have a bunch of students getting diseases, or pregnant. Sex should be fun and safe. Always! And if it’s not both, then find someone else to fuck.” 
“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” you say, smiling as he hands you your free goodies. Your eyes stray back to the vagina chocolates. “How much for one of those?”
“5 dollars,” he says, reaching over to grab one. “Pricey, I know, but the money goes to a good cause.”
“I don’t doubt it,” you laugh, pulling a 5 from your wallet. The two of you exchange items, and you pocket the chocolate. You flash him one last smile, intending to walk away, but he pipes up before you get too far.
“By the way, we’re having a class on BDSM safety tonight~” You pause at his words, turning to face him, and he grins at the look of interest plain on your face. “In case you’re interested.”
“Are you...implying something?” you ask, posing a hand on your hip as you turn to face him. He cocks his head to the side innocently.
“I would never~ But you’ve left a good impression in the two minutes we’ve known each other, and I’m the one teaching the class, so~ I’d be thrilled to see you there.”
You raise an eyebrow, surprised, but amused as well. “Maybe I’ll see you tonight.”
With that, you turn on your heel and head to class. But you definitely end up attending the class that night.
Beel:
You meet during a 1-credit, weekend Yoga class. He puts his mat down next to yours, and you can’t help but stare at his biceps, and triceps, and...wow he’s really built.
Aside from that, though, he looks pretty concerned.
“Have you never done yoga before?” you ask him, smiling politely. Having caught his attention, he turns to look at you--the same adorable frown pulling at his lips.
“No...I like to work out, but I’ve never done yoga...I’m not very flexible.” You watch him as he demonstrations by sticking his legs out and trying to touch his toes. His fingertips only reach halfway down his calves.
“It’s okay!” you tell him. “I’m pretty new to yoga too! And this is just an intro course, so I wouldn’t worry. Most of the grade comes from knowing technical terms, and I’ve heard this instructor is really nice.”
At that, he finally smiles--relieved to hear you say so.
“I’m Beel, by the way,” he says.
“Y/N,” you respond, but before the two of you get the chance to talk more, the instructor arrives. You then spend the next few hours smiling to yourself as you watch Beel struggle to get into poses. Luckily, he doesn’t seem to mind that you’re getting humor out of his situation.
“Did you not eat today?” you ask him when lunch finally rolls around, flopping back against your mat. He shakes his head, rummaging around in his bag. You can hear his stomach growling.
“I had an extra large breakfast since I knew I would be burning calories, but I’m starving now…” He pulls an entire sub from his bag, and when you catch a peek at the inside, you realize that the entire backpack is stuffed with only food. Holy shit.
But...you suppose he does need to eat a lot, if he works out a lot.
“I’m gonna grab a soda, and I’ll be back,” you say quietly, assuming that you’ll be eating lunch together, since he’s already turning to face your mat. 
“Okay,” he says with a smile, and you smile back at him, excited to get to know him more. However, before you can even get a step away,  you’re tripping over your backpack
The world spins, and you hold your arms in front of you--expecting to eat shit--but you don’t meet the floor. Two arms curl beneath you and your body rolls--your ass landing between folded legs.
You blink in surprise, blushing when you glance up and find that it’s none other than Beel who is holding you. Concern is written on his face. He doesn’t seem the least bit concerned that you’re currently occupying his lap.
“Are you okay?” he asks, not moving to release you, and oh boy you think your heart may beat straight out of your chest.
Belphie:
You meet him in the library computer lab at 11:48pm, on the last day of finals.
You trudge into the computer lab, bordering on going blind. You’ve spent the last 6 hours writing out your term paper, and had felt pretty fucking proud when you’d finished with a whole 30 minutes to spare, but just as you’d gone to submit the paper online, your apartment wi-fi had cut out
Of course.
So, you pop a squat at one of the many computers--not even realizing that someone else is in the lab until you hear a quiet snore.
Immediately, you’re pausing, standing to glance around the room. A few computers down, sitting parallel to you, is a dark haired male, with his head down on the keyboard.
Honestly, you debate not waking him. He probably needs the rest, but as a fellow student, and considering it’s the last day of finals? You can’t just leave him be in good conscience.
“Hey, uh, dude?” you call out, glancing at him from over the row of computers. He doesn’t stir. “Heyyyy~ It’s almost midnight,” you say a bit louder. “I don’t know if you’re writing something, but you better submit it.”
Finally, he stirs.
“Aw, fuck,” you hear him grumble, and he lifts his head up--his tired gaze turning to look at you. He sighs. “Thanks. You probably just saved my ass.”
“No worries,” you respond, laughing a little. You sit back down in your seat, and put in your credentials....only for the computer to indicate that you’ve put in the wrong password.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” you say, deadpanning, and try another password. Then another, and another. None of them work, and you don’t have enough time left to change it.
“I’m gonna fucking jump off the roof,” you deadpan, holding your face in your hands. Belphie chuckles.
“Something wrong?”
“I guess I don’t know my computer password, so I can’t log in and submit my paper.” You say, glancing up. This time, it’s Belphie who is glancing over the row of monitors at you, eyebrow raised.
“You can come use mine. I just submitted my paper. Just log into the school site with your ID.”
“You’re a lifesaver,” you sigh, and Belphie scoots his chair over as you walk around the aisle to meet him. Again, he laughs.
“Eye for an eye.”
“That’s...you use that phrase with enemies,” you tell him, unable to help the smile that spreads across your face. He blinks, and then groans.
“Fuck, you’re right. I’m still asleep. Just...forget I said that.”
“Actually, I think I’ll remember it forever,” you respond, and he grins, his eyes shifting to look at the keyboard as you type out your password.
“Okay, OppaiLover69 exclamation point.”
You feel your cheeks heat up, and when you see the shit-eating look at his face, you debate throwing hands. He’s lucky he’s cute.
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Text
it’s hilarious to me when people call historical fashions that men hated oppressive
like in BuzzFeed’s Women Wear Hoop Skirts For A Day While Being Exaggeratedly Bad At Doing Everything In Them video, one woman comments that she’s being “oppressed by the patriarchy.” if you’ve read anything Victorian man ever said about hoop skirts, you know that’s pretty much the exact opposite of the truth
thing is, hoop skirts evolved as liberating garment for women. before them, to achieve roughly conical skirt fullness, they had to wear many layers of petticoats (some stiffened with horsehair braid or other kinds of cord). the cage crinoline made their outfits instantly lighter and easier to move in
it also enabled skirts to get waaaaay bigger. and, as you see in the late 1860s, 1870s, and mid-late 1880s, to take on even less natural shapes. we jokingly call bustles fake butts, but trust me- nobody saw them that way. it was just skirts doing weird, exciting Skirt Things that women had tons of fun with
men, obviously, loathed the whole affair
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(1864)
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(1850s. gods, if only crinolines were huge enough to keep men from getting too close)
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(no date given, but also, this is 100% impossible)
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(also undated, but the ruffles make me think 1850s)
it was also something that women of all social classes- maids and society ladies, enslaved women and free women of color -all wore at one point or another. interesting bit of unexpected equalization there
and when bustles came in, guess what? men hated those, too
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(1880s)
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(probably also 1880s? the ladies are being compared to beetles and snails. in case that was unclear)
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(1870s, I think? the bustle itself looks early 1870s but the tight fit of the actual gown looks later)
hoops and bustles weren’t tools of the patriarchy. they were items 1 and 2 on the 19th century’s “Fashion Trends Women Love That Men Hate” lists, with bonus built-in personal space enforcement
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dreamkidddream · 3 years
Note
I’d like to request hc’s of the Brothers and Diavolo reacting to an MC that’s so cute, she could pass off as a doll. If she stands perfectly still, she could pass off as a full sized doll until she moves again. She has adorable doe eyes, wears cute clothes (Lolita fashion or just has an anime girl style), and even makes cute desserts. If the usual MC was weak and frail to them already, Doll!MC seems so dainty, precious, and fragile; these guys would ban paper if she ever got a paper cut.
Oooooo this is really interesting! I can just imagine Doll!MC just making everyone so scared every time she moves because they could probably hurt themselves just bumping into a wall because they look so fragile lol. These were short, so hope you enjoy!
Update: here’s part 2 with the other Undateables!
The Brothers and Diavolo Reacting to Doll!MC
Lucifer
...maybe he made a mistake in picking you for the exchange program after all
You just look so delicate, and just so pure. 
You have definitely made cute little snacks and brought it to him while he locked himself in the office with paperwork
He lowkey highkey likes it no matter how he brushes it off with the usual thanks. Keep doing it, MC, he really appreciates it
When you get in trouble and he gives you the usual lectures, he can’t look into your eyes for long
Geez, he already can’t stay mad at you for long but now he can just feel his resolve cracking
If you get hurt oh Diavolo prepare for helicopter parent Lucifer
As soon as you accidently cut yourself in the kitchen (it would be the tiniest cut, barely noticeable),  you’re no longer allowed in the kitchen unsupervised and can’t handle anything with a sharp end (whether its a butter knife or kid proof scissors that would be safe for Luke to use unsupervised)
“Let me do it for you, I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Lucifer, thank you but I’ll be okay. It’s just a frosting spatula it’s not sharp-”
Will punish his brothers 10x worse and demons 100x more if he finds out you got hurt (doesn’t matter what the injury is, could be so much as a paper cut there will be hell to pay)
Constantly checks on you when he can’t see you in person
Handles you so lightly that you barely feel his touch
Move over Belphie, you’re the baby of the house now 
Mammon
Protective x100000
Is still tsudere around you, but doesn’t insult you as much
Who are you kidding as soon as he looks into your cute doe eyes, he forgets what he’s saying 
Complains about having to do stuff for you but doesn’t mind at all really. He loves it because it feels like you’re depending on him, and that makes him feel worth something.
“C’mon human, let the Great Mammon carry your books! You’re gonna hurt yourself and I don’t feel like hearing Lucifer’s mouth today!”
It was just your planner and a small recipe book that Luke gave you, and it weighed less than 10 pounds but okay. You don’t complain either when you see that he genuinely wants to help and do these things
Basically your loud guard dog and secret service agent rolled into one
He’s gotten into trouble more than once for “protecting you”. A student barely bumped your shoulder and Mammon already tackled him. Lucifer was not pleased (but he secretly understood)
He can’t help it that you’re weak and surrounded by hungry demons! It’s a pain to go through this much effort to just protect you, since you look so helpless
MC he’s just worried that you easily break if a demon so much as breathes on you but he likes that he can protect you because he knows that he can keep you safe. You’re just too cute and sweet okay??
Also stand in his room after watching a horror movie to freak him out and he’ll be sounding like Mariah Carey lmao
Leviathan
RURI-CHAN IS THAT YOU??!
Is for sure having an otaku/weaboo freakout moment
You blend in with figurines so well, every time you come into his room he asks you to stand next to them so he can feel that his collection is complete 
He does it sometimes when he streams so people can think he has a rare limited-edition life sized doll that they can’t get. Makes him feel superior 
DRESSING YOU UP IN COSPLAY 100%
You’re like an anime character but in real life and he does not know how to handle it 
Can’t stare into your eyes, it makes them too flustered because he’s used to seeing it in his otome games and not from an actual person that he likes
Who needs maid cafes when he has you? You even dress and make anime themed desserts (once he built up the courage to ask you to make it for him)
Has to calm his beating heart every time he talks to you, you’re too precious for him MC! 
Your like his very own idol, minus the singing and dancing. However, if you can sing and dance....
Levi.exe has stopped working 
Satan
Thought you were a real doll until you introduced yourself
He really thought that someone brought you to life Pinocchio style
You looked like a princess from the many stories that he read, and he was smitten
Treated you so graceful and elegant like until he had his rage moments, which he told you to stay far, far, far away from him until he calmed down completely
Secretly placed a hex on you to where if someone tried to attack you or touch you with harmful intentions, they would be somehow be subjected to looking at their worst fear
You were wondering why that random stranger was just staring wide at you with extensive terror, but then you saw Satan grinning, so you left it alone. You thought it was just some weird demon thing
Loved when you made him cat-themed desserts
If you wore cat ears while doing it, he will turn extremely red
If you meow for him, he won’t know how to handle himself 
Asmodeus
You are just the cutest thing he has ever laid his eyes on!!
Besides from himself of course, don’t get it twisted he’s still #1
He has most definitely had more than one photoshoot done with you both. And you guys have been trending on the Devilgram a couple of times already
Really you guys trend at least twice a month, and his fans love you!
They always ask where he got the doll from but he always laughs and says that “it’s a secret”
Imagine their shock when they see you walking and talking at RAD, some are amazed and some are downright scared
Fashion shows! 
He lives for dressing you up in cute clothes. Your style already suited you and he had great tastes so the new outfits he got you were just *chef’s kiss*
The cute little desserts that you made for him, he always posted it on the Devilgram before he ate it. They were just so cute MC and he couldn’t not show his fans!
Is the most careful brother when it comes to keeping you out of danger. He refused to let his body or skin damaged, and he wasn’t about to let it happen to you either! You are both way too dainty and fragile to let anything happen
Also spa days and self-care nights weekly!
You’re the perfect match made just for him MC
He finally has someone that can understand his struggle of being beautiful, bless you MC
Beelzebub
Soft boy is scared of touching you :(
He towers over you, and he’s scared to even be near you
It takes some time, but he starts to warm up to you
Is always gentle with you, no matter the scenario
Holding hands? He is hardly gripping your hand, said hand fitting loosely in his
Getting hugs? He’s meagerly holding you, not wanting to crush you
You once complained to Beel that it wasn’t fair to get half done hugs (if you were hugging, you were getting a real hug, not a scared one). 
He made you swear that if he was hurting you to let him know, so now you have your very own signal to use for him just in case
He was very tempted to wrap you in bubble wrap and just carry you around like that
He LOVES your sweets, even more than Luke’s and Barbatos’
No matter the size, he loves them, mainly because you made them and it was made with love, just for him
It always makes him feel so warm inside, and he doesn’t feel his appetite gnawing at him like usual
No one is dumb enough to try anything with you both in his presence and not, unless they want to end up either a: deep into the ground or b: into his stomach
You just make him feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and he just loves everything about you. He just loves you
Belphegor
Hm, you look cute 
For a human
Acts like he doesn’t care, but you’ve caught him blushing before (he still does it too)
Won’t outright admit that you’re charming in your own little way, but he does in his sarcastic way like usual
“MC, you’re such a half-pint. You’re like my personal sized teddy bear.”
Has cuddled with you like you were his personal teddy bear (and still does, but you don’t complain at all)
Has a secret sweet tooth and eat your desserts whenever you make it just for him (and he doesn’t even share it with Beel, that monster)
Demons just have to look Belphie in the eyes, watch him flex his claws, and they all of a sudden forget about whatever they were planning. Good
He hates that you look so fragile, but at the same time he kinda likes it
You just look so soft, and you’re just so kind
It makes him feel like he’s protecting and caring for you, and that makes him feel calm and peaceful 
Please make sure that he’s okay MC, he’s scared that he’s gonna mess up again
Diavolo
The Prince of Hell is both surprised and pleased at your appearance
Do all humans look this charming or is it just you??
If someone as soft as you can survive living and going to school with demons, then this is great
Knew that you weren’t a doll, but still liked to admire you like one
Has asked more than once for pictures, you are just too enchanting!
Wants to have a portrait painted of you so he can hang it up in the castle
LOVES you baking for him! Loves when Barbatos does it too (even though it is kinda part of his job), but it feels different with you. It feels...domestic in a sense. Makes him feel like Diavolo, your friend and very interested in being your boyfriend, instead of Lord Diavolo, the prince that will be residing over Hell in the future
No one would be foolish enough to hurt you. If someone was, they wouldn’t even get the chance to lift a finger before they were directly dealing with him. Don’t take his kindness for weakness, he still is a demon after all, the future King of Hell to be exact
Was scared of touching you at first, but quickly grew out of it! He can handle his own strength, and you guys also have a signal to use just in case he does squeeze a little too tight
Will want to dress you up in royal clothes (if you were okay with it). Nothing is wrong with your current style, as a matter of fact it suits you! He basically just wants to play a fancy game of dress up/have a fashion show with royal clothing
Will take 100s of photos, no exaggeration
Asmo will be jealous, so be warned
Plus, he wants to know how his future lover/ruler would look in a crown so he can start taking measurements. You can never be too ready, right MC?
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alvadee · 2 years
Note
I saw your tags on that one post about sex positivity and I was curious to know a little more of your views on the damaging parts of it? (If you feel comfortable sharing!)
hmm, ok. this is not gonna be a fully formed, well articulated opinion because i didn't think i have to voice it out loud soon lol but i'll give it a try
i think that the feminism that privileged female sexual pleasure (born out of a fight against the puritanical sexual repression of women) has years ago turned into the oppressive expectation that women, especially if they want to be perceived as progressive, hip and cool, should be down to fuck at the third date, into casual sex, be able to have sex with no strings attached/as friends with benefits and open to all kinds of sex acts/kinks. if you're not you're weird/a prude.
sure, there are always people who love casual sex and can do it completely without romantic feelings attached but I do think the majority of humanity doesn't fall into that category. i think most people prefer sex when they have some degree of romantic feelings for their partner or they develop romantic feelings for people they have good sex with. especially women do. but this type of sex positivity gives dudes a free ticket to lay girls but when they catch feelings they can make them feel guilty for it/leave them traumatized because "wtf are they expecting? it's just sex, how annoying, just let me nut".
it's the same shit the dudes in the 60s did with their "free love". this type of "feminist" sex positivity, hookup culture, absolutely plays into the hands of dudes who just want to use women for their instant sexual gratification. it sets the bar soooooooo fucking low for dating. sucks, especially if you're a romantic, because the times of a long courtship are over. societal rules used to force men to at least put work in and make them wait until the woman "gives in" and today men will not take you to a restaurant on the first date but instead take you to their grimy apartment to get it on and see not a single thing wrong with that.
and besides the emotional aspect and how traumatizing it can be to be so intimate with someone/participate in sex acts/kinks because you felt obligated to do so by...the current culture basically, there's also the aspect that sex can only be so casual for men! women are the ones who can get pregnant, who often have to take care of the birth control, who get raped by men who only pretend to wear a condom, they are the ones left with the decision if they want to abort if they get pregnant or if they keep it and have the long term commitment of a child when the dude of course fucks off.
also STDs
i hope no one gets me wrong, of course slut shaming is bad, i'm just trying to say the current normalization in the dating world of expecting women to have to be into casual sex without being allowed to hold men emotionally accountable is also bad. it should be normal that women who have a lot of sex/many partners are not shamed but it also should be normal that for some people sex is not part of the beginning of dating/a relationship and it isn't seen as weird and makes them undateable.
as i said, thoughts are not fully formed yet also that's the view point of a demi-ace. i don't understand everything allosexual people are into. but i also want to add from my purely personal pov that i also don't like how this attitude devalues sex, i think it's more fun to keep some things in life more.... mythical and special. because you have to make some things in life special, even if they aren't, or it's all bland and boring and routine. and i think the way a lot of people have sex (like people who say sex is their hobbies, that's fucking weird??) turns it into that and can in the worst case make them need more and more extreme sex/porn/kinks to get off. like, porn has rotten how many people's brains? even sex is a performance for most now and not a natural expression of a connection. one of the few things imo that should be real and intimate has not to look and be a certain way to meet some imagined expectation set by fiction.
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mageofseven · 4 years
Note
Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with your writing! I have a little request if you don’t mind. The brothers (and undateables I’d you want to) finding MC bruised and beaten and later discovering they got into a fight with another demon. Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!
Awww thank you so much! I might end up doing the Undateables in another post, but I'll just stick to the Brothers for this one.
And thanks for requesting 😊
TWs: violence, vague s*xual assault
Spoiler warning: 1st year spoilers in Lucifer's and vaguely in Belphie's section
~
Lucifer:
Was checking out the area under Diavolo's orders.
Apparently there have been some people sneaking around in the old Colosseum and normal methods to keep other demons away from the historical landmark have been futile.
That and word has made it's way that some criminals have been using the place to secretly make dealings
So when he got there, he had expected to find some such people lurking around
Instead he found MC on the ground in the center, bruised and bleeding with their arm bent in a very concerning way.
He rushed up to them, calling their name and checking them for signs of life.
Honestly, the man was having major flashbacks to the day he lost his sister.
This was exactly where Lilith fell and Lucifer had to watch his sister, all broken and in pain until Diavolo came and he had to make the deal that changed everything
The deal that eventually led to MC's existence
Yet here they were now, in exactly the same place and state and the demon couldn't help but break down for a minute with panic he tried so hard to conceal.
The human let out a groan and the man could only sigh in relief.
"MC, oh thank the Devil..."
"Luce...?"
"You'll be alright." He promised. "I'll take you over to have Simeon heal you."
Despite the internal panic and flashbacks of such a traumatic event, he still handled the situation well.
Once MC was all healed up, he asked them what happened.
Apparently, they found a note that someone had stuffed in their school bag, asking for them to meet at the Colosseum.
They thought it was weird, but curiosity had gotten the better of them so they went and were attacked while exploring the ancient building.
The demon had meant to kill her, but sensed Lucifer approaching so they dropped the human and ran for it.
Ends up getting as much info from them about the attacker as he can.
Even if MC doesn't want the demon to die for what they did, they get no say in the matter.
Because of their status as exchange student, this attack is a political issue and the consequences Lord Diavolo warned his people about originally must be put into play.
Politics aside though, Lucifer would never let any being who hurt MC get away with it.
Becomes a lot stricter with what they can and cannot do
Like, they're not even allowed to go for a walk around the block without either him or his brothers accompanying them.
Even changes up their class schedule to make sure they have at least one of his brothers with them per class and they even have to walk MC to their next one.
Any arguments about this from MC or the brothers fall on deaf ears.
He will never let anyone lay a hand on them again.
Mammon:
School day had ended and he was on his way to pick MC up from their class.
Since Lucifer decided the day they came that he was responsible for their safety, he always had to do stuff like this.
He was late today though since his teacher held him back after class.
Blah blah F on the test, blahh blah summer school, blaah blahh blaaaah. Whatever man; he wasn't listening
And because of them, he was late. So much so that when he arrived at the human's classroom, they weren't there.
Lowkey panicked.
Shit. Shit shit shit, where'd they go???
Practically runs in the halls trying to find them
Knows Lucifer will have his head for this if he can't track 'em down.
Ends up hearing some kind of ruckus in the courtyard
And finds a big group of students forming a circle and chanting "Fight!"
"Oh yell!" Is momentarily distracted from his problem and joins the group. "Fight! Fight! Fight--."
Oh shit. That's his human in the circle!
Mammon's brain just started buffering as he watched MC dodge and weave, even getting some good hits in. The second brother was actually pretty impressed.
The lower demon in the fight eventually lost his footing and fell to the ground, giving an opening for MC to give a big kick between his legs and the demon let out a shrill scream. His green skin started smoking and changed to grey as it hardened and suddenly seemed more like stone than a person.
The circle of students started cheering and Mammon's jaw practically hit the floor.
Holy shit, the human did it!
MC fell the ground, panting heavily and bruised from head to toe.
Mammon finally rushed up to them.
"Damn, MC! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"
All of a sudden, some students started running and others just quickly jumped back, revealing Lucifer and Diavolo.
....yep, he's dead.
The two older demons started asking MC questions as they caught their breath and Mammon tried to sneak away.
Lucifer grabbed his brother by his jacket, but otherwise paid him no mind as MC told their tale.
Apparently this demon that sits behind them in their Devildom History class had been giving them crap for a while; calling them names and pushing them around. Today they even started touching them in places that made them wanna break the demon's hand.
MC snapped and told them such. The demon only grinned. Honestly, he was probably waiting for them to say that.
From there, he dragged them out by their hair and the rest is rather obvious.
Diavolo had some of his men carry the demon away. Apparently, the stone-like skin is defense mechanism, essentially the equivalent of a turtle hiding in their shells for that sub-race of demon.
The prince assured MC that the demon will be dealt with and tasked Lucifer with getting them healed up.
Mammon was hung upside down from the roof for a few hours for letting this happen, but MC was patched up and okay in the end.
Leviathan:
He usually buys all of his otaku stuff off of Akuzon
But occasionally, he likes to go out and by manga at this store downtown.
It's a once in a blue moon sort of thing, but he still does it
MC felt like taking a walk so they joined him
The two explored the shop as Levi fanboyed about seemingly every other series he passed.
The otaku had already started a pile of manga he planned to buy.
He didn't even notice when MC left his side until he approached the counter to pay
Boy just assumes you bailed on him at first and sinks into self-loathing mode
Until he heard a scream from outside.
He abandoned his manga and raced out, just in time to see another demon run for it and MC leaning against the building.
Their right arm was bleeding from the holes and claw marks made into it.
The third brother started freaking out and rushed them home, even leaving his books there.
When they get back, Lucifer patches them up with a first aid kit and a little bit of a potion.
MC explains how they were shopping with Levi when all of a sudden they saw Beel outside the store waving at them
She went out to talk to him, but then suddenly, it wasn't Beel anymore.
Apparently, it was a shapeshifting demon and, since they specifically choose Beel's form to take, Lucifer assumed that they must have been watching them for a while and planning this attack. They likely chose Beel because they knew he was someone MC would let their guard around.
Levi felt like crap for letting them get hurt, but MC said it was their fault for being tricked.
Lucifer decided it was both their faults and gave them both a long lecture
Satan:
The fourth brother invited MC out for coffee
The blonde actually really likes the atmosphere of coffee shops and wanted to share it with them
The two ordered their coffee and sat at their table while talking about books. He recently read a book on artic fauna from the human world and was comparing the information he read with their own knowledge
It was a very relaxing experience like most of MC's quality with Satan.
Before the two of left, MC had to stop in the restroom.
That demon waited patiently for the human at their table, but when almost ten minutes went by, he became a bit annoyed and puzzled.
Not wanting to be rude, but also ready to leave, Satan approached the bathroom door
He paused mid knock when her heard a low growl followed by a cry from MC
Now in his demon form, the blonde kicked the door off its hinges. It wasn't locked or anything, but the man was super pissed.
Found a demon pressing MC, who had a gash in their head, against the opposite wall
'An eye for an eye' is more or less the philosophy he followed here, or rather, a head for a head.
He took the demon and slammed his head into another wall over and over again.
MC had to run up and tell him to stop after the other demon passed out.
They left the demon on the floor of the bathroom and Satan, with his arms around MC to keep them close, headed back to House of Lamentation
The human didn't want the other brothers to see them like this and worry so Satan snuck them into his room and went to get the first aid kit.
It was quiet between the two as he patched them up.
"I'm sorry for scaring you." He said as he finished with their stitches. "Seeing you hurt like that just made my blood boil. They deserved it, but you shouldn't have had to watch."
"It's okay... thank you for saving me."
The two spent the rest of the night huddled together in his room, reading and just settling down from the incident.
Asmodeus:
Shopping trip!
Asmo was a bit too enthusiastic about it, but that's part of why MC was all too willing to go
He mainly just wanted to see MC in cute outfits, but also bought a few for himself
Any self-consciousness MC might feel on her own is long gone when they spend time with him. He's always hyping them up and complimenting them and overall making them feel beautiful.
Time spent with Asmo is always a good time and well spent.
The fifth brother does actually leave their side for a bit after they found someone hot to flirt with
MC didn't mind and just let the Avatar of Lust do his thing as they continued to look through the racks.
At some point a very good looking demon approached them and started flirting with them
It became obvious that this dude was one of Asmo's demons, another demon of lust
Even with this in mind though, their attention really did make the human feel special, even if they probably said such sweet words to everyone
MC underestimated the demon, thinking that just because Asmo wasn't the aggressive sort that the demons under him wouldn't be either
Ends up following him out of the store and makes out with him against the wall of the building
They didn't understand why they were doing this, but the human's mind had been feeling foggy for a while now.
Suddenly, MC's whole body started to feel heavy and they were so dizzy that their vision was just a blur
Ends up passing out and waking up a few minutes later to Asmo crying as he stood over them and begging them to wake up
"Azzy?"
The man threw his arms around them.
Finds out that the fifth brother went looking for them when he saw that they weren't in the store anymore. He came outside just in time to see one of his underlings try to suck their soul out of their body.
As soon as they heard their superior's voice though, they dropped the human and ran.
The two went straight home and Asmo was extra clingy with them for the rest of the day.
Beelzebub:
The two of them went together to Madam Screams since they were both craving sweets.
Beel was really hungering for a cherry pit pie (though of course he planned on order other things as well) while MC was really hankering for some chocodevil cake.
The two happily got in line to pick out their treats, but MC stepped out to get a clearer view of the case with all of the treats to see if they wanted anything different instead.
Ends up getting attacked by a famished, minor demon of gluttony and slammed down on the glass case containing the sweets.
Beel jumped into gear; he changed into his demon form and threw the other demon off of them.
During the skirmish, the two ended up breaking down a wall and crushing three tables.
When the fight ended, the big guy rushed up to MC to make sure they're okay.
The human was bleeding and had a lot of glass shards embedded in their back and arms.
Though worried, the sweet boy keeps himself together and carefully takes out the bigger shards.
Rushes them home, treats forgotten.
Once home, Lucifer is the one who gets the rest of the glass out of their back and cleans up their wounds.
Beel stays by their side and lets them squeeze their hand when Luce's clean up hurts too much.
Luce gives his younger brother a lecture for all the stuff he had broken back at Madam Screams, but is surprisingly lenient with him.
The older brother didn't say it (and honestly, he should have), but he was proud of his brother for stepping up and protecting MC, but at the same time, expected nothing less from him.
Yeah, Lucifer will likely get sent the bill, but MC's safety is more important.
Belphegor:
Belphie had fallen asleep during class; no surprise there.
The rest of the students left the room when class ended, but the seventh brother continued to sleep at his desk.
MC found his sleeping face cute and didn't want to wake the demon
So instead, they hung around the classroom, waiting for the Avatar of Sloth to awake; the school day was over and the classroom wasn't going to be used for anything else so they thought there'd be no harm in hanging around.
Sadly, they were wrong.
Another student, a jerk from their Seductive Speechcraft class had waited for them to leave the classroom in order to harass them, but when they didn't come out, he came in.
Eventually had them backed up against the wall and forcing their hand up their shirt, causing the human to yelp.
He tried covering their mouth with his other hand, but MC bit them, angering the demon and leading them to putting their hands around their throat as he yelled at them.
The entire time, the minor demon never saw the Avatar of Sloth sleeping at his desk.
Big mistake.
Belphie woke up and saw the scene before him, turning into his demon form real quick.
Didn't hesitate to grab a hold of the bastard and make him let go of MC, who was now gasping for much needed air.
The seventh brother used his miasma aura to weaken the demon as he was now the one doing the choking with the lower demon.
MC covered their face and cried in their corner on the floor.
It was too similar to That Night™️ and the human was bordering on panic attack because of it.
Once the minor demon passed out, Belphie turned and saw MC crying on the floor.
He rushed up to them, but stopped once MC started screaming and begging for him to stay back.
That look in their eyes... it was the same fearful look he remembered from That Night™️
And it killed Belphie inside because he never wanted them to be scared of him ever again.
He waited for the human to calm down and, with their permission, slowly approached them.
He wanted to hug them, but was afraid that they'd just be reminded of it even more so he held back.
Surprising him, the human hugged him instead.
He held them tight for as long as they needed and started to notice the bruises forming on their neck
The two went home after that and reported the incident to Lucifer before Belphie dragged MC with him for a nap.
He chose Beel and his' room since he knew the attic would probably be too much for them right now.
Cuddled close to them and apologized for all of it. For falling asleep and leaving them defenseless. For the other demon's attack. For scarying them. Above all, that he was sorry for That Night™️
~
Masterlist
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voreconnoisseur · 3 years
Note
Ok but I need more Obey me vore- could you do some protective/possessive vore with the brothers? (And if you want the undate-ables to)
Yeeeeah babey this ones protective AND possessive! But for some of these asks I’m gonna be doing one bro per ask, with a long post, so hope you enjoy Mammon!
Getting in Trouble - High Stakes!
“Alright, listen up, human, ‘cause I’m only gonna tell you this once. If you’re gonna come with me, you have to stay hidden.”
As soon as you’d found out about the underground casino, you knew Mammon had to know about it. It practically had his name written all over it. And ever since, you’d been begging him to take you with you. He’d refused, initially, saying that it was dangerous... until your ordered him to take you with him. And then, of course, he’d reluctantly agreed.
“If any of them see you, it’s gonna be a mess. They’ll be all over me trying to get their hands on ya. And let me tell you, it is a TOUGH crowd there.”
You nodded enthusiastically. The main reason you wanted to go was because you knew you’d see Mammon at his peak. He was good at this sort of thing, despite what one might think with his tendency to overspend. You wanted to see how he played when the stakes were high!
And oh boy, were stakes going to get high.
***
Mammon had headed straight for the blackjack table. Peering from the pocket of his jacket, you couldn’t quite see the cards he’d been dealt. You could only hear and feel his reactions as he played. And from the sound of it, things weren’t going so well for him.
“Stand,” you heard him say, hesitantly. You saw the dealer flip his cards over... he had 21.
“...Dealer wins.”
“Shit.”
Mammon heaved a sigh, knocking you over inside his pocket in the process.
“Guess I’m out. I don’t have anything else to bet.”
The dealer spoke again, and the words that came out of his mouth sent a chill down your spine.
“The human in your pocket. I’ll bet everything you lost tonight if you put the human on the line, too.”
You could feel Mammon freeze.
“Eh—what’d you say?”
“The human. In. Your pocket. Why’d you bring it if not as a bargaining chip?”
There was a worrying silence. Surely, he would never—
“Fine. I’ll do it.”
Of course. Of course he’d try to get his money back at any cost. Of course Mammon would do that. You could imagine the *ka-ching* in his eyes.
You squirmed against Mammon’s hand as he grabbed you roughly and pulled you out from your hiding place, setting you down on the blackjack table.
“Mammon, why—“
Mammon put a giant finger to your lips—then brought it to his own; the symbol for quiet. You suddenly remembered your pact with him. You could stop him at any point and he knew it. Perhaps he had something planned...
You sat on the table, hungry gazes of the dealer and a few other demons watching burning into you. Your heart pounded—if something did happen, could Mammon protect you?
Now, with the full table in view, you could watch everything that happened. Mammon had a determined look on his face—a confident one.
The intensity just kept building as they played. A push. ANOTHER push. And now, with low value cards, Mammon was taking hits again and again.
You looked up at Mammon, whose eyes had previously been on his cards. Now he was focused directly at you. You could see sweat beginning to bead on his face, and yours probably didn’t look too different. But for just a split second, Mammon winked at you.
You’d come up with a secret sign a while ago at the House of Lamentation. It meant “cause a distraction.” Usually to prevent the other brothers from noticing something that would otherwise cause... problems. Right now, he was trying to tell you to do the same here.
“Hit me.”
As soon as the dealer started to flip the next card, you began to kick up a fuss. You screamed, cried, hyperventilated—and it worked. A few other demons came over to investigate. Even the dealer’s eyes left the cards for a second.
“Shut up down there,” he said, glaring over at you.
And that’s when Mammon swapped the new card for one he’d hidden in his sleeve.
To your surprise and relief, (and unlike many of Mammon’s plans) it worked. He’d swapped the card with a card that would give him exactly 21, and he’d done so before the dealer had even had a good look at it.
The dealer was forced to take another card and ended up busting. Mammon grinned, sliding all of the stacks of Grimm back into his bag, and snatching you from the table.
“Welp, better luck next time! Thanks for the refund~”
As he headed toward the exit, you scolded him.
“Mammon! That was really risky! I could’ve been that guy’s lunch! And what if he saw you cheat??”
“Aww, relax, Y/N. I would’ve just grabbed you and ran if it came to it. But then I wouldn’t be allowed back. Besides, the guy was TOTALLY cheatin’ even worse than me. He had the deck stacked. Or something like that.”
“...”
“...Come on. Like I would ever let MY human get taken by this random asshole.”
“Okay. I forgive you. But can we get out of here?”
“I’m already on it.”
You could see from your spot that Mammon was heading to the door, but. Uh oh.
“Don’t look now, but that guy doesn’t look happy with you.”
A demon who looked like some kind of bouncer, or bodyguard, or... henchman was blocking Mammon from leaving. His arms were crossed, showing off his rather beefy biceps. You could hear, additionally, someone approaching Mammon from behind. He turned to look and you saw him: the dealer from before.
“Hand over the human, cheater.”
Mammon froze, and you could feel him gulp.
“Wh-what are ya talkin about? I won completely fair and square!”
“Oh yeah? Then what’s this?”
The demon held up a card.
“Found it under your chair. You should’ve lost that round, but you got rid of it, didn’t you? Now. Hand it over, and I’ll even let you keep the rest of your shit. Otherwise...”
He slowly slid his index finger across his throat.
With a lightning fast motion, Mammon turned away, snatched you from his pocket, slid you INTO HIS MOUTH—
And turned back. He spoke, and his somewhat muffled works vibrates around you as you sat in the pocket of his cheek, saliva pooling around you.
“About thaft—shorry, but tat human wash my lunch today, sho no can do!”
You squirmed, kicking Mammon in the teeth, and instinctively he put his hand to his face, pressing against you in your fleshy pocket.
“Yeah right. It’s in your mouth. Spit it out.”
With an abrupt motion, you were sucked back out from Mammon’s cheek, and brought back into his tongue. It ran over you a few times, almost hesitantly, before you felt his head tilt back and...
He swallowed.
You were pulled downward, legs first, into Mammon’s throat, which then squeezed and squashed you downward. As soon as the pressure let up, you gasped, splashing downward, hearing Mammon sigh in relief along with you. Where you were now—his stomach, was glowing a faint gold in some spots, giving you a good look at your surroundings. It was roomier than one might think, rippled and moving and alive...
You snapped back to reality as you heard him speak again.
“Like I said, no can do! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m outta here.”
“Yeah, no. Get him.”
Your world lurched as Mammon broke into a sprint. You weren’t too worried about his situation—Mammon’s true strength was his speed, so he’d be able to get the two himself out of this. You waited it out somewhat uncomfortably as you were tossed about (at least your surroundings were squishy) for what felt like hours but was probably more like a few minutes. Eventually, you stopped being tossed around and Mammon slowed to a jog, panting, before stopping.
“Phew. Think we lost ‘em.”
You could feel something poke you from the outside.
“Y/N? Ya doin’ alright in there?”
Now, to deal with the situation at hand.
“Mammon, why did you eat me?”
“Cause I sure as hell wasn’t gonna let those guys eat you! Listen, if anyone is gonna eat MY human, it’s gotta be me.”
The golden glow intensified around you. It must have something to do with his sin, you thought, based on how it glowed while he spoke.
“Mmhm. But if you were just going to run away anyway, you could’ve left me in your pocket, stupid.” You gave a playful kick to the spot you knew Mammon’s Hans was resting. You felt a rough jab in your general direction in response.
“Er, well—You know what? How about I just leave you there and digest you!? Yeah, that’ll show you. In fact, MAYBE that’s what I was gonna do all along!”
“Yeah, well, you keep forgetting I have a pact with you. So all I would have to do is tell you to spit me out.”
“Grr...”
“...but you know what? I’m pretty comfy. I think I don’t mind staying here for a little while while we get home.”
You could tell he was pleased, because the ripples of his stomach glowed warmly. You let yourself sink into the folds and sighed.
“Where are we, anyway? I can’t see anything in here...”
“That’s a great question.”
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The Brothers(Plus un-dateables) taking care of their kids
This is somewhat of a continuation of these https://husky-obey-me.tumblr.com/post/618967886622572544/the-brothers-when-mc-has-their-babyies and  https://husky-obey-me.tumblr.com/post/619064228858527744/can-you-do-the-baby-thing-with-the-undateables (note: if you wish to see the baby as a different gender or as single, twin , triplet, etc, feel free to do so, it’s all about imagination ! As well as names too! these are names mainly just for the post , not all of them say the kids name )
Lucifer
-He’s very nervous  -His daughter is only a few months old , so she’s still very fragile  -He’s constantly holding her in fear of setting her down then his brothers do something stupid that might end of hurting her  -As fearful as he is , he enjoys his precious jewel  -He likes how she tries to play with his pens (takes them away if she tries to eat them)  -If she starts crying, he’ll do what he can but if all else fails, he seeks you  -and she somehow stops crying  -so either she wanted you or he just sucks at calming her down  -He’ll most likely wear a baby holder in case he gets busy but only when you’re not able to watch her  -In free time, he’ll teach her basics and as well as things babies learn to  -Gets very excited when her first word was “dada”
Mammon
-Like before, there are 3 Mammons now -The twins were roughly 2 months but they were very active for newborns -Mammon can’t take his eyes off them without worrying  -”Oi ! Manny! quit pulling at your brother’s hair!”  -”Ollie no! don’t rip that!” -He was in utter defeat, now he knew how his brother’s feel around him expect his kids were worst  -For the most part, the twins would be with you and for some reason they’re well behaved around you  -”oh imma kick their butts-” -”they’re just like you~” -The Twins first words were Mama and Mammon felt defeated 
Levi
-He was scared and nervous for his newborn daughter -He loved his daughter but he had no clue what to do  -you’d always have your daughter but have him be there too so he can learn  - For now, He’s used to changing diapers and feeding her  -Your daughter is interested in the games Levi plays but he makes sure that they’re friendly enough for her  -He’d sometimes give her a non working controller so she feels like she’s participating -His favorite thing to do is have her on his chest while he plays but stops it if she whimpers or such  -Her first words were “ruri chan” -you weren’t happy but he was sobbing tears of joy  -”BABY OTAKU “
  Satan
-He wasn’t afraid at all for his daughter  -during pregnancy, Satan read books about children (mainly human just in case) -He was confident but there will be times he needs your help since you are the mother  -He loves to read to her , it helps her sleep when he reads to her  -Your daughter also loves to  play with Satan’s tail when he’s in demon form  -He mainly doesn’t when your not around but you were lucky to snag a pick of him doing that with her (now you’re homescreen) -He in secret would try to teach her how to say Dada when the time comes  -And he succeed when she said “dada” when wanting him  -but shortly after she said “mama” but he was happy she wanted him first 
Asmo
-Not good at parenting but he tries  -He’s more of a “I must make my child fabulous “ parent while you mainly take care of her  -He loves to get outfits for his daughter like dresses, cute little onsies, etc  -He makes sure to by the best products (for babies) to make sure she stays super soft  -He swoons at her touch , cradling her and humming a melody  -Takes hundreds of selfies #beautifulprincessanddaddy -loves to try to get matching outfits for you guys for a matching family photo -sadly her first words were “mama” -he felt defeated but he still loves her more 
Beel
-Best dad ever to his twin sons  -As much as he’s gluttonous, He makes sure to properly take care of the twins  -He’s good at multi-tasking, so it was a breeze to eat and take care of them -He nicknames his sons “mustard and ketchup”  (mainly because of the color choice you gave them at birth) because of their personality  -Mustard is more hyper and active while ketchup is a little lazy (omg MC did birth another beel and belphie )  -Belphie is often there with him because he loves the twins , Ketchup loves uncle belphie and sleeps on him  -The twins favorite sleeping spot is on Beel’s chest , for being warm and soft , it felt nice when he purred for them  -Both of their first words were “dada”  -He was happy but felt a little bad for you 
Belphie
-He’s lazy but he tried and he was a good parent  -He had triplets , no one else had to right to complain about there children unless they have more then him  - He gets them little cow onsies , they had collars stitch to them and he made sure each had a different color  - “is this A Daddy cow and his herd?~ “ you’d tease  -”moooooo” he’d say and then the triplets would do the same and they’d continue to moo for a few minutes   “please don’t let this be a thing-” you feared while he chuckled -When you both got into teaching them mama or dada , one girl said “mama” , the other girl said “dada” but the youngest boy wouldn’t talk for a while  -WHen he tried to utter his words , you both got excited as he said “M-M...” -you smirked “He’s gonna say mam-” “Mooo” 
Diavolo
-He’s an ok dad, but sometimes makes dumb decisions - He wears a baby holder 24/7 , he’s proud to show off his son  -He’d spoil him so much , with toys, cloths , you name it  -On certain days , He’d take a day off just to spend time with you and your son , maybe have a picnic or go out somewhere fun , sometimes to the human world for places like chuck e cheese for your sons (and Diavolo)  -He would actually try the baby food first , if he didn’t like it , he wouldn’t feed it to his son but  you put a stop to that quickly , espeically since your son could have different taste then him  -He plans to have make Jr a special crown made from Silver and moonstone ,to match him  -When he gets to saying Mama or dada  -He says “mama”  -HE wasn’t mad but a little jealous 
Barbatos 
-Best father there is to his twin daughters -He careful watches their behavior and reaction to all sorts of things, like what they likes/ dislike, how they react to scary or nice situations  -His daughters are identical and look a little like him ,he can tell the difference easily but for others, Melody wears pale Yellow and Hera wears Lime  -During tea time with Diavolo , The girls have their own little chairs and and gives them their favorite cake  -Whenever he gets a day off, he just sits with you and your daughters all snugged in his arms , he just wants to enjoy your guys company for as long as he can  -Melody’s first word was Dada while Hera’s was “mama”  -so it was tie but Barbatos is still the better parent 
Solomon
-Not the worst but the not the best dad -His  daughter was fragile psychically , so he was a little overprotective  -He’d only let someone like you or Asmo go near here, anyone , you better stay 10 feet away or else  -He would try to teach her magic early on, with your permission , mostly basic magic like summoning or teleporting (which might be bad to teach-)  -He enjoys to have fun little trips to the park with you two (and prank people with magic )  -You and Solomon have a dare to see if she’ll say Mama or dada , loser has to wear whatever the winner picks  -He tried to teach her to say dada a lot of times , to better his chances  -but sadly they were for nothing and she ended up saying “mama”
Simeon(Plus Luke as a son)
-A little experienced before hand (with Luke) so he doesn’t have much of a problem -your daughter is very shy and quiet baby , so she doesn’t cry too often  -Luke loves to play with her and brags to other how cute his little sister is ) -Simeon sometimes wears a baby holder so that he can have her close  -He also likes to sing to her , whether to see or calm her down, he just loves to see her relax as he sings her a gentle melody  -Luke tries to make sweets for his sister and sadly she couldn’t eat most of them . he got sad but then looked up recipes safe for babies to eat  -Simeon would always offer to do everything for you , because you already suffered through the 9 months and all he could do was watch and calm you , so he feels he needs to  -When it came to her first words , it was a surprise  -”come on sweetie, say dada!” simeon tried  -”say mama!” you cheerfully said  -”....uke” -”huh?” -”uke! uke!” -She said Luke thecially and he couldn’t help but sob  (Hope you enjoyed!)
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absentplatypus · 3 years
Text
Hey, remember how I said I was going to post a little something writing today? Well, here it is. It’s called ‘The Krakow Tapes’ and it’s a story/document about five tapes found in Krakow, Poland, (hence the name). It’s very inspired by the SCP Foundation, but it is not an SCP, it’s my own original piece. I think it also has some of the vibes of the Magnus Archives, so think of it as a bit of a combo between the two. Full story under the cut, as it’s 3,556 words.
Entry #: 4061---------> The Krakow Tapes
Description:
The Krakow Tapes are a collection of five recordings recovered in Krakow, Poland in 2015. These recordings feature a variety of locations in and around the city. The recurring cast, so to speak, is formed by a redheaded woman, a blonde woman, two men with dark hair, and the man behind the camera, of whom we only get scant glimpses.
The recordings are made using equipment that would date them to the 1960s, but the dress of the people and the tapes they are found on would suggest the 1980s. (Note: The tapes were able to be played on a VCR.) The one exception to the 1980s style clothing is the shirt worn by the blonde woman in one of the tapes, which displays an asexual pride flag, despite that flag’s creation dating to 2010.
The identities of the five people in the tapes remain unknown, but efforts to identify them are continued as of the writing of this entry.
The recordings are of comparably high quality, given the equipment used, but all of the tapes experience audio or visual interference at a variety of points. All those present in the recordings speak in Polish, and translated transcripts are available, attached to this document.
The tapes were found scattered on the ground in an alleyway unlabeled, and no other physical evidence has been found pertaining to these recordings, as of the writing of this entry.
There is no official order, chronological or otherwise, for the tapes. Additionally, as of the writing of this entry, they remain undated.
[End description.]
Transcripts:
The following are the transcripts of the tapes, translated into English. As such, the transcripts may not be fully accurate.
Tape #: 1.
[The recording begins with the redheaded woman, standing on a rooftop. It is late afternoon. The rooftop is painted white. Other buildings are visible in the background. The woman is wearing ripped jeans with a short sleeved shirt and leather jacket.]
Cameraman: “We’re going.”
Redheaded woman: “We’re going? Oh, good, good. Hey everyone! [She spreads her arms wide, smiling.] “We’re back home again, back in the city.”
[The camera turns to show the skyline, and the blonde woman is visible in the shot.]
[The redheaded woman laughs.] 
RW: “We’ve been having a good time so far, much better than we’ve had recently.”
CM: “Yeah, safe to say we’ve been sleeping a little rough.”
[RW nods in agreement.] 
RW: “Yeah. I always have us prioritize food and water over other things.”
[The blonde woman walks into frame.]
Blonde woman: “That’s because you’re bossy. When you get going it's hard for us to get a word in edgewise, much less argue.”
[A vocalization is heard. The camera pans over, and the source is revealed to be one of the dark haired men.]
RW, from offscreen: “What are you doing?”
[The two men are embracing, and swaying back and forth. (Note: Due to what evidence is available, it is believed that they are in a relationship. This theory has not given light to any new leads to the identity of the people, or purpose of the recordings.) The vocalizations are believed to be singing.]
Singing dark haired man: “Having fun, buzzkill!” 
Other dark haired man: “He’s gonna be a music man. Right?”
DHM: “Shut it, you.”
[The other dark haired man smiles and rests his head on the other man’s shoulder. The camera moves back to the RW and BW.]
RW: “Right, back to it. We’re staying here for now, but the view is gorgeous.”
BW: “We love this city.”
[The CM vocalizes his agreement.]
[RW begins to walk, and reaches a cooler, opening it. The sound of heels clicking is heard. She removes a bottle of water.]
RW: “We’ve got lots of water this time, so we’re set for at least a month. Food’s easier to come by, since we’re in the city, so I’m not worried about that.”
[RW takes a sip of her water.]
CM: “Yeah, we’re way better prepared than Paris.”
[RW laughs. The motion shakes her earrings, which dangle from her ears, and the chain attached to her jacket.]
RW: “Paris was a mess! We were stuck down there for days, and then we got separated.”
[RW shakes her head. There is notable visual distortion here.]
RW: “It was a lot.”
[BW fully enters the shot.]
BW: “All because that one guy wouldn't leave us alone.”
[Both RW and BW shake their heads.]
RW: “Some people just don’t know when to live and let live, as they say.”
CM: “We didn’t even take that much from him. And it’s not like any of the stuff was stuff he couldn’t replace.” (Note: This conversation, along with other bits of information found in the tapes, would imply the people in these recordings are involved in criminal activity. No police or court records have been found matching what evidence is available. This aspect is still under investigation.) 
[The dark haired men move closer, and BW greets them.]
ODHM: “It’s getting about that time. Who’s turn is it to grab the night supplies?”
RW: I’d do it, but my ankle hurts so I’m not gonna be up to the climb.”
CM: “If you don’t feel up to it, we’re not going to make you, sweetheart.” (Note: There is evidence suggesting CM and RW are in a relationship. This theory has led nowhere.)
DHM: “You might be willing to let her off the hook. We’ve all done more in worse states.”
BW: “I’ll do it.”
[The camera is set down on a ledge, and the remaining fifteen minutes of the recording is footage of the skyline and the sunset.]
[End transcript of Tape #: 1]
Tape #: 2
[The recording begins on the same rooftop as before. It’s nighttime, and a few stars are visible. There are sleeping bags spread around the roof, duffle bags and backpacks, and a second cooler in addition to the one from the first recording. A fire pit has been set up in the center of the roof, and a fire has been lit. Wood is piled beside it.]
CM: “Beautiful night here. Not too cold, and we managed to snag a fire pit.”
[The sound of heels is heard, and RW jumps on CM from behind.]
CM: “Hey, hey! Careful of the camera!”
RW: “I know, I know.”
[The camera turns to face her, and she is dimly lit by the fire.]
RW: “You can be no fun sometimes, you know that?”
CM: “I’m careful.”
[The camera is moved in a panoramic shot of the rooftop. The dark haired men are sitting in chairs next to the fire, holding hands. The blonde woman is walking on the ledge, making a vocalization that is believed to be humming. She is holding a glass bottle in her hand.]
RW: “Do you want me to grab you a drink?”
CM: “Sure. You know what I like.”
[RW moves into frame as she walks to one of the coolers, and removes two glass bottles. One of the bottles is lit well enough to identify it as beer. RW hands one of the bottles to CM.]
DHM: “Come sit!”
[RW and CM walk over to the chairs, and each take a seat. CM sits across from the three of them, so that they are in frame. The camera zooms in on the night skyline, and remains there for five seconds, and then zooms back out, and the people are again in the shot.]
ODHM: “I love the city at night. So peaceful. Plus, I’m with you.”
DHM: “Yeah.” 
[DHM smiles and gives ODHM a kiss on the cheek. RW smiles.]
RW: “Anyway, we plan on staying here for a while. We’re not going to have the fire on too much longer, but I’m not super concerned as there’s a chimney on this building.”
[The vocalizations from BW grow louder, and appear to be singing. It is noted that there is audio distortion at this time.]
ODHM: “Be careful! None of us are going to catch you if you fall off.”
[The camera is moved so that it is pointed at BW. She is still walking along the ledge with the bottle, and her step is noticeably more uneven. There is slight visual distortion, which may be a result of the equipment used.]
BW: “I’m fine.”
RW: “Just come down, please. You can come sit with us!”
[BW stops walking. The camera zooms to show her mock pout, and zooms out to film her walking towards the rest of the group. She takes a seat next to DHM.]
RW: “Should we talk about our plans for what we’re going to do next?”
ODHM: “Sure. We’re going to lay low for a while. Like we said before, there’s that one guy who won’t get off our backs.”
[RW and DHM roll their eyes.]
ODHM: “Besides that, we never do anything here, in our home city.”
DHM: “Yeah. We want this to be our safe spot, a place we can come back to. Whenever we do something, if the fallout is bad enough we may never come back. We like the freedom to move.”
BW: “We talked a little about going to Moscow next, right?”
RW: “Yeah, we did. Nothing’s set in stone, as if we ever do that, but yeah, I think we should.”
ODHM: “From what we’ve heard, there’s definitely a space there for what we do. Even if it’s not what we do next, we’ll definitely do it at some point.”
CM: “Personally I’d like to go because the city is beautiful. I’d love to take pictures there. City that big’s gotta have a decent place to develop them, too.”
[DHM and BW sound their agreement. RW gets up and tosses a couple of logs onto the fire.]
RW: “We’ll let it get through those and then put it out. Gotta sleep sometime, and we really shouldn’t be sleeping with an open fire around.”
ODHM: “Yeah, I’d rather not go up in flames in my sleep.”
[The next few minutes of the recording are extremely distorted, and when that ceases, RW and DHM are putting out the fire.]
BW: “You guys got it?”
RW: “Yeah, you head to bed. Or bag, rather.”
[The fire is put out, and the camera lingers on a shot of the city skyline. The recording is turned off after approximately a minute and thirty seconds.]
[End transcript of Tape #: 2]
Tape #: 3
[The recording begins with a shot of a rose. The camera moves to show a park, all of the people, save CM, are shown in this shot.]
CM: “You guys can talk now, I’ve got the shot.”
RW: “Oh, cool. I didn’t want to interrupt.”
[BW nudges RW in the arm. They are seated on a bench, and BW is wearing a shirt with the asexual pride flag on it.]
BW: “Didn’t you say we were going to have lunch now?”
RW: “Yes! I left the basket in the car. I’ll be right back.”
[RW gets up and heads offscreen.]
DHM: “While she’s getting that, I’ll give you a brief rundown. We had a bit of time to ourselves, and we decided to hang out in this park and have lunch.”
[ODHM laughs.]
DHM: “Well, I said it’d be brief.”
ODHM: “Yes you did.”
[RW returns with a picnic basket in hand.]
RW: “Did we decide where we’re eating?”
DHM: “Uh, the park?”
[RW rolls her eyes and crosses her arms.]
RW: “I know that, Mr. Sarcastic, but I’m talking about the specific spot. We can eat on the benches, but I did bring a blanket.”
BW: “Just spread it out in front, if someone wants to sit on the bench they can, if someone wants to sit on the blanket they can.”
[RW and BW spread the blanket on the ground. RW sets the basket down on the right side, and CM sits on the blanket, with the others remaining in frame. RW and BW sit down on the blanket, and DHM and ODHM remain on the bench.]
ODHM: “Can you still see us okay?” 
CM: “Yes.”
ODHM: “Cool, cool.”
[The next ten minutes of the recording are of them eating. There is light conversation throughout, but audio distortion makes it mostly inaudible.]
DHM: “So yeah, not eating there again.”
[They all laugh.]
BW: “Fun story, but it is really the one to tell while we’re eating?”
ODHM: “She’s got a point.”
[DHM rolls his eyes.]
DHM: “You’ll be fine.”
[ODHM takes DHM’s hand.]
ODHM: “You’ve gotta lotta snark in you, don’tcha.”
RW: “Yeah, he does.”
[RW pats DHM’s knee.]
CM: “If we’re all done, we should put the food stuff back in the car.”
BW: “Ever the clean freak.” 
[BW smiles into the camera, looking at CM.]
DHM: “I’ll help, if you’re doing it.”
BW: “Okay.”
[BW and DHM clean up. RW and CM get off of the blanket. RW and ODHM fold up the blanket and pass it to BW. BW takes the basket and heads offscreen. The other three sit on the benches while CM stands.]
CM: “Good to be here, with you guys. I hate it when we can’t be together.”
DHM: “Yeah. It almost feels like we’re always together when we are, but when we’re apart it’s like we never have.” 
[RW and CM make noises of agreement.]
ODHM: “I love you guys.” 
[The camera is set down, and all but the legs and feet of the people are out of frame. It is believed that they are embracing each other here. The camera stays on this shot for six seconds, before becoming incredibly distorted. When the recording is clear again, it is on a shot of BW and RW embracing each other. BW is holding out a camera, pointed at them, and RW has her arm draped across BW’s chest and her hand is resting on her shoulder. ] 
[End transcript of Tape #: 3]
Tape #: 4
[The recording begins with footage of the carpeted floor of a restaurant. The camera moves as CM walks. After fifteen seconds the movement ceases.]
DHM: “We’re clear.”
[CM moves through a door into a bathroom. The camera remains pointed at the tiled floor.]
CM: “We’re the only ones in here?”
BW: “Yes, we are.”
[The camera moves up to about eye level. BW is in front of the camera, wearing a deep blue dress with criss-cross cording down the front. RW is half out of frame.]
ODHM: “Everyone’s in here, we’re just behind the camera. Small bathroom, you see.”
[The camera moves in a circle around the room. RW becomes fully in the shot, wearing a knee length silver dress. DHM and ODHM are shown in frame, and they are wearing suits. The camera completes its rotation and stops once BW is in the frame again.]
CM: “Do you want to explain? I stopped on you, but I can move.”
BW: “No, no, I can do it.” 
DHM: “Awesome.”
BW: “If you don’t interrupt, that is, please and thank you.”
DHM: “Sorry.”
BW: “Anyway, this is very impulsive and not what we’re supposed to be doing, we’re working right now but we all look gorgeous and we wanted to preserve it for posterity.” 
RW: “Yeah we do!”
[The camera turns to focus on RW, and she spins to show off her dress. When she’s done, she blows a kiss toward the camera. The camera moves back to BW.]
BW: “So, yeah. We can’t talk about what we’re doing, we’re not supposed to, but we are enjoying ourselves. Can’t say that about every time when we’re working.”
[ODHM voices his agreement.]
BW: “How much time do we have in here?”
RW: “I think about five more minutes. Food is gonna be here soon and we’re already been gone for a while. Don’t want them to get suspicious.” (Note: Whoever ‘them’ is has not been identified. However, the restaurant the people are in has been identified, based on the carpet pattern. The restaurant is no longer in business, but the building still has the same carpet.)
[RW walks in frame. She stands next to BW.]
RW: “Let’s get a shot of us all together before we stop.” 
[RW gestures DHM and ODHM over to the same side of the bathroom as her. CM has to take a couple of steps back to get them all in frame. As he steps back, a brief glimpse of his reflection is visible in the mirror. The facial features are mostly blurred, but the man appears to have light brown hair.]
DHM: “Can you see us all?”
CM: “Yes.”
[DHM and ODHM position themselves on the outermost side of RW and BW, respectively. They stand there and smile. A knock is heard at the door. The camera points towards the ground and is shut off.]
[End transcript of Tape #:4]
Tape #: 5
[The recording begins with a shot of a bridge. Traffic is moving at a steady interval on the road on top. The bridge was painted white, but the paint is peeling, and much of the bridge has been graffitied.  One section has what more closely resembles a mural, with an impressionistic sea scene and birds flying above it. Four of the five people are standing under the bridge.]
CM: “You know, I like this bridge. It’s not the most unique, but something about it is just nice.”
[ODHM spots the camera and jogs over. He smiles.]
ODHM: “I knew you couldn’t resist filming the bridge.”
CM: “It’s a nice bridge.”
[ODHM laughs.]
ODHM: “Yeah, I guess it is. Come on, we’ve snagged some fruit. Your favorite!”
[He turns and walks over to RW, who is holding a plastic shopping bag. CM follows.]
CM: “For your information, fruit is not my favorite. I just like eating healthy food. It seems strange to you because you’re twenty-five percent chips.”
[ODHM and RW both laugh. RW rests her hand on her stomach.]
RW: “Hey, play nice you two.”
ODHM: “We will.”
[ODHM tosses his arm around RW’s shoulders. DHM comes into frame.]
DHM: “Did you get any bananas? I’ve been wanting some lately.”
RW: “Yeah, right here.”
[RW rummages in the bag, removes a banana and hands it to DHM, who begins to eat it.]
CM: “Now, what do we say?”
[DHM snorts.]
DHM: “Thank you.”
CM: “There you go.”
DHM: “You realize I’m, how old? I’m old enough to know when to say thank you.”
RW: “First of all, do you not know your own age? And second, it’s not just knowing when, it’s doing it, too.”
BW: “Manners!”
DHM: “Why don’t you come over here and tell me yourself?”
[BW jogs over to be in frame.]
BW: “I was talking to a squirrel, who was chasing another squirrel that was trying to eat a nut.”
[They all laugh.]
RW: “Yeah, sounds like you.”
[RW reaches out and pulls BW to her side.]
ODHM: “Dork.”
[ODHM smiles at BW, who smiles back.]
BW: “I am. And you are too.”
CM: “We’re all dorks, I think. It’s probably why we get along so well.”
RW: “Birds of a feather.”
CM: “Exactly.”
[BW points behind CM.]
BW: “There go the squirrels!”
[The camera is spun around to catch the squirrels chasing each other. The camera zooms in on the animals running after each other, and eventually up a tree. The camera turns back toward the people.]
ODHM: “Other than watching squirrels and eating fruit, we haven’t been up to much lately.”
RW: “We’ve decided to take a little break, and just enjoy life for a little while.”
CM: “Like this bridge.”
RW: “Like this bridge. And really, would we be proper miscreants if we didn’t hang out under bridges?”
DHM: “I feel like ‘proper miscreants’ defies the whole point of miscreants.”
[BW shrugs.]
BW: “It’s possible.”
RW: “Anyway, we were going to go down to this pond and feed some ducks. I have bread in the bag.”
[RW smiles at CM.]
RW: “Do you want to put the camera down and come with us? Live in the moment, you know?”
CM: “Yeah, yeah, alright. I’ll come along.”
[The closing shot of this recording is of the four people in the frame smiling, until the camera turns off.]
[End transcript of Tape #: 5]
End Notes:
There isn’t much to say, on this one. Most of the information we have is already in this entry, and what’s left is just menial stuff that is filed somewhere else. The annoying thing about cases like this is that unless any new evidence turns up, we’re never going to fully solve it. Usually if cases like this are solved, it’s just people messing around, making one of those ‘alternate reality games’ that are so popular nowadays. It’s rare for it to be something that needs a real investigation.
Well, I guess it’ll just stay open, then. This is just a weird set of tapes with a bunch of time inconsistencies and some possible offscreen criminal activity. Nothing we can turn over as actual evidence of something going on.
If you’re reading this, you know the protocol. If anything else turns up related to this case, you notify the research team. Unless you have specific permission to do so, do not edit this entry. You know the consequences.
[End (End Notes)]
[End Entry #: 4061---------> The Krakow Tapes]
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gastropodpapa · 4 years
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How many characters in the Obey Me verse have Oral Fixations? What about Anal Retentiveness vs Anal-Expulsiveness? Anal-retentive vs -expulsive individuals = overly obsessed with orderliness and being tidy vs very messy and disorganized. Asking because I enjoy character analysis and wonder how you see it. Please include the undateables if you can place them. Thank you in advance! - L
Oooh, interesting. By oral fixation i am going to assume you mean constantly needing/wanting to have something in their mouth to chew or suck on, yes? which can be quite interesting in sexual situations. Honestly same lol. If not then feel free to yell at me.
Also THANKS cause now I desperately need to find my pack of gum lmfao
Lucifer doesn’t necessarily have an oral fixation, but he probably doesn’t mind using his mouth in certain ways, if you know what I mean. Very retentive, I mean come on. Everything has to be the way HE wants.
Mammon might have a bit of one, I suspect he’s a bit of a pen-chewer. He’s expulsive in most things but when it comes to money he’s very calculated and orderly. His room is only clean because Lucifer bitches at him about it all the time.
Levi, I can’t really place for the mouth thing, but I do like making jokes about these guys’ animal themes so I’m gonna say that if you put anything in front of his face and it triggers his snake instincts he WILL bite it and hold on. Very retentive, especially when it comes to organizing his merch and games.
Satan doesn’t have a fixation really. Surprisingly fairly expulsive, we’ve seen the chaos in his room. Lit candles on stacks of books? Enjoy your house fire, Satan. He tries to put up a front of being orderly and tidy but in his own personal space not so much. We all know his true nature is pure chaos, no matter how much he tries to reign it in.
Asmo 100000% has a fixation. It’s an affectation, to a degree, but he does genuinely have one. He’ll put things (preferably phallic things) in his mouth when he knows someone is watching, playing it off as a casual thing. Definitely tries to fellate a popsicle in front of MC at least once a fortnight to see their reaction. VERY retentive, surprisingly enough. All of his products and clothing is meticulously organized, all of his tags on his posts are very consistent, that sort of thing.
Beel. Do I even have to answer this one? Yes, he has an oral fixation. He’ll put anything in his mouth, but if it isn’t specifically attached to someone (like MC’s fingers, for example) he’s very likely to try to eat it. He usually tries to stick to food or gum because of this, but he’s been known to just eat random shit. In the middle of retentive and expulsive. He’s just vibin, but he does like things a bit tidy.
Belphie has one, but it could just be some bleedover from Beel. He’s fallen asleep with gum in his mouth a dozen times. Somehow it only got stuck in his hair once though. Also a bit in the middle, but more on the lazy “ughhh i don’t wanna clean/organize/etc” side. Beel helps him keep tidy though.
Diavolo has one but he’s had it beaten out of him (almost literally) by Barbatos. He still likes to occasionally bite or suck on his pen when he’s doing paperwork though. Naturally expulsive, but due to pure habit (and the looming threat of Barbatos) he keeps his shit together.
Barbatos does nOT have an oral fixation how could you even think such a thing. He is a GENTLEMAN. *smash cut to him staring at a colorful rubber ball and sweating, thinking about how much he wants to chew on it* But seriously, this guy makes Lucifer look like a slob. He’s retentive enough for himself and for Diavolo.
Simeon doesn’t have one really. Unfortunately for my gay ass lol. Keeps organized, but not to a neurotic degree like Luce or BBQ.
Solomon has and will continue to accidentally hex himself by chewing on the end of his wands when he’s thinking. Fortunately, he’s good enough at magic to reverse them before he embarrasses himself. Will just stick marbles in his mouth though. Organized with his magic and stuff, but only really because he knows how dangerous it can be if you’re sloppy.
Luke likes to be organized.
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Text
Sorry if this post sounds like alphabet soup, this is just something I’m dying to get off my chest.
So there’s this new show on Netflix called Love On The Spectrum, which is exactly what it says on the tin: autistic people trying to find love. Sounds like a pretty good concept for a show, right? Well personally it kinda rubs me the wrong way and I’ve just now put my finger on why.
You see, here in the UK we have a similar show: The Undateables (yeah, the title isn’t exactly a good look). Similar concept but, although most of the people on the show are autistic, it focuses on disabled people in general going on dates. Disabled people having not one but two mainstream shows about them  seems great at first until you realise the mindset both shows promote.
Dating is something most people will experience in their lifetime. Of course there are plenty of dating shows, but if it’s a normal part of life then why do production companies think it’s necessary to separate an entire group of people from everyone else? The answer is simple: inspiration porn. Abled people are so wrapped up in the belief that disabled people are completely incapable of living normal lives that when a disabled person does something “normal” (getting a job, having a hobby, dating, etc.) they make it into a big deal when it doesn’t need to be. Obviously they’re gonna eat up shows revolving around the latter. These shows feed into this mindset and end up causing more harm to disabled people than good, whether the people behind them intended it or not.
“But Jess, don’t you wanna feel included?” Duh, of course I do! But this is perhaps the worst way to do so. You wanna be inclusive? Great! Then let us on the same shows as abled people. Let us on First Dates, Take Me Out, Love Island, whatever the hell the American equivalent of those shows are. If you’re gonna include us then you might as well include us with everyone else. Segregation isn’t diversity.
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