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maria-scribbles · 4 years

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glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part three

summary: while mother nature isn’t very kind to the obx, jj’s dad is even worse to him. sailor sees the aftermath, relives a day that changed her life forever, and realizes she’d be down with murder if she could get away with it. between nutella sandwiches, story time, and a shared bed, an unspoken thing slowly starts to become a little more real.

word count: 6.9k+ (oops 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings: abuse/neglect, blood, mentions of parental abandonment/gambling addiction, swearing, whump, hurt/comfort, fluff, blatant references to hocus pocus, the little mermaid, percy jackson and the olympians, and mean girls (and a teeny, subtle reference to stranger things, see if y’all can catch it! 😉)

a/n: i was so excited to write this part, not gonna lie (if you couldn’t tell, just look at that word count). hurt/comfort is my shittt and i’m a pretty big slut for physical comfort/touches so i kinda went ham with it lol. i’m also very happy to finally introduce everyone to peyton, who’s a character i really love and enjoy writing, especially her relationship with her gf alison. both of them will get some time to shine in this part, peyton in the present and alison in the past! as usual, this is unbetaed so all mistakes belong to me. enjoy!

gif credit to @sci-fi

~Masterlist~

part one | part two | part four | playlist

part three: storm surge

It rains the entire week. Scratch that -it storms: the whole island buffeted by howling winds and blanketed by a thick layer of dark and angry clouds that make life just shy of miserable. For someone who spends 99% of her time outside like Sailor, miserable doesn’t begin to cover it. And to think, it’s only the beginning of hurricane season.

The redhead props her chin in one tan hand as she leans against the cool marble counter of The Butterscotch Bonnet Ice Cream Parlor, watching the rain pound against the shop’s bay windows. Across the street she can just make out the rough, gray surf of the Atlantic through a tiny gap in between two buildings and she sighs wistfully, thinking about all the beautiful shells getting tossed onto the beach by the waves. She’s half tempted to just throw off her apron, hop the counter, and make a break for the sand, storm be damned.

She’s almost positive she wouldn’t even be missed. There isn’t a customer in sight and there hasn’t been one since she started her shift three hours ago. Peyton was still in the back kitchen, messing around with whatever convoluted ice cream flavor she thought up for this week; her boss definitely has a knack for concocting weird combinations that somehow work together, at least most of the time. Sailor thinks back to a few weeks ago when they debuted that delicious blackberry balsamic that sold out every day without fail, then followed it with a cilantro lime that was hit-or-miss (a definite miss in her opinion, as cilantro just tastes like soap to her; Peyton had just smiled her infectious smile, shrugged her tiny shoulders, and said, “Can’t win ‘em all, I guess.”) This week’s flavor involves mascarpone and peaches and she can’t wait to steal a sample because if the wonderful smell coming from the kitchen is any indication, it’s gonna be bomb, even though it probably won’t upset the shop’s namesake flavor from the top of her list.

Thinking about ice cream makes her kind of hungry, on top of the fact that she has a terrible habit of eating when she’s bored, so she dishes out a small scoop of Butterscotch Bonnet and grabs a spoon before leaning back against the counter, digging through the cup to find the best part: salted caramel-filled chocolate sea shells, made in house. The days Sailor gets to help make them are her favorite days to come to work, when she and Peyton commandeer the kitchen and have the time of their lives, blasting music and dancing as they slave away. Of course, the little bag of chocolates she gets to take home is a pretty big plus, too.

“That’s coming out of your paycheck, Sail.”

Spoon halfway to her mouth, she sheepishly glances up from her snack as Peyton emerges from the kitchen, fondly shaking her head and sending her inky black braids dancing across her shoulders.

“What am I gonna do with you?” She continues with a wink before starting to make herself a milkshake, dropping two scoops of their tiramisu flavor into a malt cup.

“Sorry, you know I can’t help myself!” Sailor knows the other girl was joking but she apologizes anyway and opens the cabinet to grab a cup and straw for her, setting them on the counter beside the old-fashioned milkshake machine. As far as bosses go, Peyton is one of the all-around best to have and the redhead loves working at her shop. While the Buckleys are rich as shit and total kooks, the family’s youngest daughter is down to earth, kind, and prefers to work hard for what she wants instead of flaunting her parents’ wealth and The Butterscotch Bonnet is proof that, despite her last name and penchant for the finer things, she’s a pogue at heart. It’s no wonder Alison’s head over heels for her.

“I also know you’re bored as shit.” Peyton calls over the sound of the blender, sending a knowing smirk toward the younger girl, who rolls her eyes and shovels another spoonful of ice cream in her mouth as she replies, “Obviously. This weather fucking sucks.”

A loud clap of thunder seems to shake the very glass in the windows and she gestures toward the storm outside, her point proven. Peyton glances around the deserted shop, still bright and cheery despite its lack of movement and life, then back to the relentless downpour, before shrugging and turning back to finish blending her milkshake. “Wanna go home early?”

“Seriously?”

“Why not? You’ve already cleaned this whole place from top to bottom and I don’t think we’re gonna be getting customers any time soon.” Ignoring the paper cup, she plops the straw straight into her drink and takes a big sip, then nods in satisfaction before adding a huge swirl of whipped cream on top.

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best?” Sailor asks, smiling excitedly as she grabs her bag from under the counter and tosses her empty cup into the trash.

“Only every day,” the older girl replies cheekily, smiling as she’s pulled into a one-armed hug of thanks by her employee.

“Well, you’re gonna hear it again: you’re the best.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peyton pats the redhead’s shoulder with one deep brown hand and then gently pushes her toward the kitchen. “Now get out of here, brat. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Sailor throws a peace sign over her shoulder as she heads out the door, cackling at her boss’s offended call of “don’t call me ma’am!” After clocking out, she fishes her keys out of her bag and dashes through the downpour to her beat-up clunker of a truck. A hand-me-down from Alison, Flounder’s nothing to look at with all the dents and chips in his blue paint, but he gets her where she needs to go and has room for surfboards in the back and two other pogues up front on the bench seat -and the other two unlucky ones riding in the bed, hiding under the boards- so she’s not complaining, even though she wishes his radio worked more than half the time.

(Two reasons why John B’s almost always the group chauffeur: the fact that he can legally drive all five of them around without breaking the law -not that they’ve ever gotten caught in Sailor’s truck but anyone with a brain knows that where one pogue goes, the other four aren’t far behind- and good music flowing from a perfectly working stereo.)

Unfortunately, it’s on the fritz today so her drive home is spent listening to the sounds of Flounder’s windshield wipers and the pounding of rain against his roof. She heads inland from the beach, away from Peyton’s shop in the outskirts of affluent Figure 8 and its kook mansions to the more homey, laid-back Cut, passing by the turnoff to the Chateau and through the woods before pulling into the empty driveway of her tiny house. The fact that her mother’s car is no where to be found doesn’t surprise her in the slightest. Waiting for her on the porch is Binx, the stray black cat she’s taken to feeding and more or less adopted, stretching on the blanket she left out for him.

“Hey, handsome,” The redhead says, kneeling down to give him a loving scratch behind the ears; he meows in response and rubs his fuzzy face against her ankles, weaving between her legs as she slides her key into the lock. “Come on in.”

The front door closes behind them with a hollow bang that echoes through the empty house like the thunder outside. Sailor hangs up her keys and follows Binx down the hall toward her room, ignoring the closed door that leads to her mom’s room and a bed that she assumes hasn’t been slept in in months. Not that she would know: she’s made it a habit to spend as few nights as possible alone in the house, instead crashing at the Chateau or Kiara’s place and hoping her mom’s comfortable in her makeshift room at The Sandbar where Carmen doesn’t have to deal with the teenager she’s supposed to be caring for (Sailor’s always been an independent girl and has no trouble getting by alone but fuck, that doesn’t mean she wants to.).

Her father’s green eyes, the same color as her own, stare back at her from a picture hanging on the wall of a better time, when everything was alright and her family wasn’t so broken; the three of them on the beach with a twelve year old Sailor in the middle and surfboards in hand. Carmen looks like the mother she remembers and misses so bad it hurts, and while Ryan wasn’t always the most caring of fathers and only acted like a dad when it was convenient, she’d still do anything to have him back, terrible parenting skills and all. She turns away from the picture and the complicated mess her heart becomes when she thinks about him, continuing down the hall to her room.

Complicated doesn’t even begin to cover her feelings about her dad, though. She’s always believed she was an afterthought to him, never first on his list but still good enough to tag along for company when he was doing something he wanted to do. He was a man who liked the idea of having a kid but never wanted to actually step up and parent when things weren’t all fun and games, instead deciding to take off to Atlantic City for a month or two at a time to gamble away whatever money they earned at the surf shop.

She wants to hate him. She should loathe him and in a way, she does. She hates the way he still makes her feel like everything’s her fault, even when he’s not around. She hates the person her mother becomes when he disappears, someone distant and cold and so unlike the good, caring mother Sailor remembers. She hates that home doesn’t feel like home anymore and it’s all his fault, and she hates that despite everything he’s put her through, all the hurt he’s caused, she still can’t find it in her big, bleeding heart to truly detest her father. After all, he could’ve been worse. So, so much worse.

The only place she can get away from everything is her room, her own little sanctuary from the cold emptiness of the rest of the house and constant reminders of Ryan’s absence. It’s warm and bright, the walls painted a sunny yellow that reminds her of lazy days relaxing on the beach. Her first surfboard hangs on the wall above her bed, tucked away in a corner, doubling as a shelf for her massive shell collection while pictures of her and her friends dangle underneath, pinned to a long piece of twine. Her current boards stand propped in another corner, leaning against a wall plastered with all types of movie and music posters. Through the windows covered with curtains as light as sea foam, the rain steadily pours but in here, she’s safe. In here, she can breathe.

Sailor strips off her uniform, tossing it along with her bag onto the chair by the door and slips out of her worn red high-tops before pulling on a pair of sleep shorts and the first long-sleeve shirt her fingers find in the closet, then flops onto her bed and pulls the soft blue blanket around her shoulders, reading glasses and well-loved copy of The Lightning Thief in hand while Binx curls up at her feet. Every summer without fail she rereads the series (why, she’s not exactly sure: maybe its nostalgia, maybe its because she lowkey relates to water-loving, steadfastly loyal Percy) and she’s fallen behind this year, so she fully intends on reading as much as she can tonight before bed. The storm provides perfect background noise and soon she’s five chapters in before a sudden loud knock on her window causes her head to snap up in alarm.

Oh no. Without bothering to save her place, she tosses the book and her glasses aside and scrambles from the bed to the window, tearing open the curtains to reveal a sight she always dreads seeing. Her best friend stands outside in the rain, soaked to the bone, hand pressed against his side, and the sight of bright red blood trailing down his face and staining the collar of his gray shirt makes her heart drop to her stomach. Wordlessly, she opens the window and helps him climb inside before closing it firmly and drawing the curtains, once again blocking the world from her -now their- sanctuary, then grabs her blanket from the bed and wraps it tightly around JJ’s shaking shoulders after he kicks off his sodden boots.

Her hand slowly moves to cup his face and her heart breaks a little more when he tenses, blue eyes carefully tracking its movement until he seems to remember who it belongs to and lets himself lean into her touch, cheek resting against her palm. Sailor runs her thumb under his split lip and and wipes at the crimson staining his tan skin, her mouth curving into a small frown when she only succeeds in smearing it further.

“Come on,” She breaks the silence with her gentle voice, barely above a whisper, and reaches her other hand out to take his, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”

His fingers hold so, so tight as she leads him down the hall to the bathroom and she’s so laser-focused on the way they tremble against hers that she doesn’t notice the blood left behind on the handle when she opens the door. After flicking on the light she turns to face him and gently pushes the blanket from his shoulders with her free hand, letting it fall to the floor in a damp heap, then blindly reaches behind her to turn on the shower, cranking the heat as high as it’ll go.

“Sorry about your blanket.” JJ says at last, his voice quiet, and Sailor shakes her head, running her thumb in circles on the back of his cold hand.

“I don’t care about that, J.” She replies just as quiet and before she can stop herself, before she can think about what exactly she’s about to admit, she adds, “I care about you.”

The corner of his mouth lifts in a barely-there smile and while it may be tiny, it’s a smile nonetheless and she feels the tight knot in her chest begin to loosen as she lets go of his hand, reaching for the hem of his shirt. “Can you lift your arms for me?”

He does as she asks but his pained wince doesn’t go unnoticed by the redhead when she pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it on top of the discarded blanket, and her jaw clenches at the sight of deep purple bruises in the shape of his father’s fists marring the skin over his ribs.

“Let me know if this hurts.” Oh so carefully she reaches out with one hand and gently touches the darkest mark, where she’d seen him clutching at outside her window, her fingers delicately feeling for any damages.

“A little.” He admits, shaky breath warm against her forehead and she does her best to keep her hand steady as she checks over the rest of him, then feathers her fingers back over that first bruise.

“It doesn’t feel like anything’s broken or cracked, so that’s good.” She says, allowing her hand to linger for a second before letting it fall from his side. “A rib or two might be a little bruised, though, so we’ll put some ice on them later, just in case. Sound good?”

JJ nods and watches her with those ocean blue eyes as she pulls her own shirt over her head, leaving her in a plain black cami and shorts, before grabbing his hand once again and pulling him into the shower with her. The water’s just a tad too hot and it instantly starts turning her skin red but Sailor doesn’t mind, instead choosing to embrace the heat and the way it burns everything away, leaving behind brand new skin that’s ready for a new day, new adventures. She reaches up and gingerly wipes the blood from her best friend’s face; in a mirror of earlier, he leans his cheek into her palm, eyes slowly closing while both arms wrap around her waist and pull her close.

“Sail,” He whispers her nickname into the humid air between them and she barely registers the tremble in his voice before his knees buckle, sinking them both to the shower floor until they’re face to face, sitting in between each other’s legs. He clings to her, arms even tighter around her waist and face buried against her neck, and she feels the shake of his shoulders when she winds her own arms around them. One hand moves to steadily run through wet blond hair, over and over, comforting in the best way she knows how, the fingers of her other hand tracing circles on the bare skin of his back as water continues to rain down on them like the downpour outside.

She’s eerily reminded of another time they sat like this, sobbing in each other’s arms five years ago, the first time she saw just how cruel his father could be, the first time she realized she’d do absolutely everything and anything to keep him safe, and it was both one of the best and worst days of her life.

Eleven year old Sailor shoved her math textbook into her cluttered locker and kicked it shut with a scowl. She hated math, her math teacher, and especially whoever made her schedule- who in their right mind would put math in eighth-period? She swung her backpack onto her shoulder and grunted softly at the extra weight it carried. JJ hadn’t come to school that day and Sailor had volunteered to take his missed work to him; it made sense, considering she lived closest out of the pogues and it’d make her feel better if she got to check on him herself -there was a reason the rest of the group called her the mom friend, after all.

She’d already collected assignments from the classes he shared with Pope and Kiara as well as herself, so now she was just waiting for John B to drop off his own. As if summoned by her thoughts, the brunet boy rounded the corner and waved, weaving his way to her through their fellow middle-schoolers. “Sorry, you know how Mr. Jefferson likes to go on and on and on...” He said, pulling some papers from his backpack and handing them to the redhead. “Do you remember where J’s house is?”

Sailor rolled her eyes and carefully slid the homework into her own bag. “Considering I live, like, five streets away, I sure hope so.” She fired back, ignoring his cackle of laughter as they joined the rush of students, excited for the weekend, flooding out through the double doors of Kildare County Middle School. She lingered by her friend as he unlocked his bike from the rack and then climbed on, asking, “You’re helping out at the shop on Saturday, right?”

She nodded, scanning the sea of waiting cars and waving when she spotted her ride. “Yeah, why?”

“My dad and I are gonna hang out at the beach that day so we’ll stop by and say hi.” With a casual salute in her direction he slowly started pedaling down the road, calling back over his shoulder, “Tell JJ he can come too if he’s feeling better!”

“Tell him yourself!” She yelled after his retreating back, not surprised in the slightest when he didn’t turn around and disappeared into the trees. Alison’s beat up blue truck pulled up to the curb seconds later and the older redhead leaned out the open window, a shit-eating grin on her face as she joked, “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!”

Sailor laughed and climbed into the passenger seat, dropping her backpack on the floor with a loud thump. Alison winced at the sound, raising her eyebrow as she waited for the younger girl to put her seatbelt on. “What the hell do you have in there, rocks?”

“One of my friends missed school today so I have his homework. Do you mind driving by so I can drop it off? He only lives a few streets away.”

“Sure,” Alison replied, flicking on her turn signal and merging into the stream of cars leaving the school’s parking lot. “So who skipped: Smarty Pants, Bandana Boy, or Surfer Bro?”

The eleven year old giggled at the nicknames -she’d never admit it, but they were honestly pretty accurate- and replied, “Surfer Bro. And his name is JJ, Ali.”

“Rightttt, JJ. What do you think it stands for, huh? Jesse James? John Jacob?”

“Oh my Godddddd!”

The high school senior continued to come up with names, each more ridiculous than the last until Sailor exclaimed “There!” and directed her to park near a small, run-down house on a quiet road. She pulled a folder from her backpack and was out the door before the older girl could blink, calling over her shoulder, “I’ll be right back!”

The redhead slammed the truck door behind her and made her way toward the porch and what she assumed was the front door; she’d never been inside JJ’s house but he always came out to meet them through there so she figured it was a safe bet. The smile fell from her face, ears registering the sound of horrible, angry yelling just as she brought her fist down to knock and she anxiously fidgeted back and forth on the step, her heart starting to beat fast in her chest. What the hell was going on?

"Fucking hell!” An enraged shout came clear as day from inside and as she heard the person’s stomping approach, something in her, a feeling, urged her to hide the folder in her hand behind her back. She jumped in surprise when the door was suddenly ripped open, revealing a fuming, red-faced man who glared down at her with heavily lidded eyes and one hand clenched in a fist at his side, the other holding the threshold in a white-knuckled grip. “What the hell do you want?”

“H-hi, I’m Sailor, one of JJ’s friends? He wasn’t at school today so I came by to check on him.” She said, proud of herself for keeping most of the tremble out of her voice while she studiously avoided his cruel gaze, instead subtly trying to peer behind him and hopefully catch a glimpse of her friend. The man, who she realized with sheer horror had to be JJ’s dad, was absolutely terrifying, with breath reeking of booze and mouth curled into a vicious snarl as he moved to block her view into the house and snapped, “Kid’s fine. Now get the fuck outta here.”

“Can I just see-”

She was cut off when he slammed the door in her face with the hand that had been by his side and her eyes widened, stomach sinking with dread as she caught sight of the splotch of bright crimson left behind on the wood. Oh, God. This could not be happening. She remembered John B’s warning about JJ’s dad, saying he wasn’t a very nice man when she became friends with them last year but she didn’t recall him ever saying anything about this and it hits her like a freight train: he probably didn’t know. Her heart pounded against her ribcage. If JB didn’t know then Pope and Kiara definitely didn’t and a sickening feeling started to churn her belly, both at the thought of JJ facing all of this by himself and the fact that she alone had the power to help.

Inside the house, she heard his dad resume his screaming, every other word accompanied by a sickening thumping noise she’d only heard in person once before, a few years ago on the beach with her parents when two drunk tourons started wailing on each other over a spilled beer: the sound of a fist hitting flesh. Sailor started to panic, both hands flying to cover her mouth in terror. Underneath the screaming and punching, she couldn’t hear anything, any cry or yelp or whimper from her friend and, mind racing with million terrible, awful thoughts, she turned and ran back to the truck, flinging open the door and scrambling inside to grab Alison’s arm, folder in her hands falling to the floor.

“Ali, please, we’ve got to help him-”

“Whoa, where’s the fire?” The older girl joked as she looked up from her phone, smile falling from her lips when she caught sight of the eleven year old’s pale face and wide eyes. She reached over and placed her hands on Sailor’s slight, trembling shoulders. “What’s going on?”

Her lip quivered terribly as she told Alison everything she saw and heard, watching her expression slowly twist into outright dismay, the fingers on her shoulders tightening their grip when she finished, “Ali, what’re we gonna do? We have to help him right now!”

“Fuck, okay, first off let’s calm down- don’t give me that look, kid! We can’t just burst in there like Wonder Woman or something, let me- oh, look!” Alison pointed through windshield, where JJ’s dad furiously stalked from the house to his truck, climbing inside and violently slamming the door before taking off in a cloud of dust. Sailor quickly ducked when he drove by and stayed down until the older redhead gave her the all clear, “He’s gone. That was perfect timing, huh?”

She didn’t reply or even wait for her to unbuckle her seatbelt, taking off at a sprint and bounding onto the porch in no time, furiously knocking against the door. “Hey, J, are you there? It’s Sailor.”

There was no reply and her heart dropped to her stomach. Alison joined her on the front step, her face blanching when her eyes landed on the blood stain on the corner of the door. One of her hands reached out to grab the handle while the other found Sailor’s smaller one and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Come on,” With no hesitation and the bravery Sailor wished she had, the eighteen year old pushed the door open and pulled them both into the dusky house. The younger redhead wrinkled her nose at the sight of beer cans and pill bottles littering a circle around the couch but she pressed on, calling his name as the girls moved room to room.

“Sail?” The sound of JJ’s pained voice coming from the room at the end of the hall made her heart skip a beat and she dropped Alison’s hand, running forward and bursting through the door in a rush, not even thinking about what state her friend might’ve been in. Feeling like she’d just been sucker punched right in the gut at the sight of him lying face down on the floor with a small puddle of blood forming under his mouth, she dropped to her knees beside him and delicately took his hand in both of hers, nearly crying in relief when his fingers gripped tight to her palm. Behind her, she heard Alison’s sharp intake of breath as she entered the room, darting over to kneel on JJ’s other side and place a gentle hand on his shoulder, and together they carefully helped him roll onto his back, then up into a sitting position with the older girl’s arm behind him as a brace.

Her jaw trembled as she tried and tried to say something, anything; her head was filled with so many questions -what happened, how could he do this, when did this start?- but the only thing she managed to ask was a simple, “Why?”

“It’s just what he does.” He replied with a shrug, wincing at the movement, “I’m sorry, Sail.”

“What the hell are you apologizing for?” She asked incredulously, then followed his finger as he pointed at a pile of jagged yellowish-brown pieces on the floor by his bed.

“He broke the shell you gave me.” He looked so upset, so distraught over the broken whelk and she felt her heart swell with waves of affection for her friend, who was more concerned about her broken gift than he was about himself.

“Hey,” She said softly, turning away from the mess to look him in the eye with a small smile, her hand reaching out on its own accord to brush a lock of fine blond hair away from a cut near his temple. “It’s just a shell, okay? I’ll find you another one.”

The sight of blood on his teeth when he returned her smile reminded her of the task at hand and she shook her head, wrapping her thin arm around his waist. “Let’s get you out of here. Think you can stand?” At his nod, both girls put one of his arms around their shoulders and slowly stood, shuffling out the door with all the grace and speed of an old man with two bad knees, but hey, they were moving and getting JJ out of that terrible place, so she’d go as slow as they needed to, even if her anxiety was getting worse and worse with each passing second they spent in the house.

After loading the kids onto the bench seat of the truck, Alison quickly drove them to the empty Flynn residence -Carmen and Ryan still working at the shop- and helped Sailor move JJ into the bathroom. “I’ll go grab you some towels and dry clothes, okay? I think some of your dad’s old stuff might fit him.” She said, watching as the young girl kneeled beside her friend and started untying his shoes.

The eleven year old nodded at her older friend and sent her a small smile. “Thanks, Ali.”

“No problem, kiddos.” With a quick smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes she was gone, heading down the hall toward the laundry room.

Sailor reached over and turned the shower on as hot as possible. “Okay, um, take as long as you need, I guess. I’ll wait outside.” She jerked her thumb toward the hall but before she could even take a step, his hand darted out and grabbed her wrist.

“Stay.” It was more of a demand than a question and JJ seemed embarrassed to even be saying it, the uninjured parts of his face turning an endearing shade of pink. “Please?”

She just nodded and reached a leg out to gently kick the door shut, her mind racing. She stayed but what the hell should she do now, keep her back turned? Get in the shower with him? From the way he was fidgeting back and forth and avoiding her eyes, he was probably thinking the same thing.

“Oh, come on.” She finally said after a minute or two of decidedly not looking at each other and kicked off her sandals, darting forward on impulse to grab his hand and pull them both under the spray. The water uncomfortably soaked into their clothes and made their movements sluggish as they clumsily shuffled around -stepping on each other’s toes and mumbling identical apologies- before finding a position that was only a little bit awkward in the confined space, his arms on either side of her waist and bracing against the wall, her hands tentatively resting on his shoulders.

“This okay?” She asked, feeling her cheeks reddening from more than just the steam curling around them and frizzing her hair, and JJ nodded, swallowing thickly and blinking away a droplet of red-tinged condensation that slid down his forehead. Her hand, moving on its own accord, slowly reached for his face until her palm gently came to rest against his flushed cheek, the tip of her pointer finger just brushing a small cut that sliced through one eyebrow.

“How...” Sailor shook her head, taking a deep breath before finally asking the question that’d been on her mind since this whole thing started, “How long has this been happening?”

Once again he avoided her wide-eyed gaze, eyelids fluttering shut as he answered hesitantly, quietly, “I...I don’t remember a time when it didn’t.”

His answer chipped away the last brick in the dam and the floodgates broke. She flung herself into his chest, arms wrapping around his shoulders and fingers twisting in the sodden fabric of his shirt, sobbing into the warm skin of his neck. He froze in her embrace, whole body stock-still until something in him seemed to break too, and his own arms encircled her waist, bit by bit, pulling her close as he buried his face into her shoulder and two sixth graders slowly slumped to the shower floor in a tangled mess of limbs.

“J, why didn’t you say anything?”

His body trembled in her arms and she inhaled sharply at his reply of, “Because I’m not worth it.”

Pulling away from his neck to rest her forehead against his, she cupped his face in both hands and forced him to look her in the eyes, her voice quiet but adamant, insistent as she said, “Don’t you dare say that again, got it? You are worth it. So, so worth it.”

The look behind his red-rimmed, ocean blue gaze was made of pure, unadulterated disbelief and Sailor, at a loss, wracked her brain for something, anything she could do to make him see himself the way she did: loyal, adventurous, funny, and oh so brave, already a beloved, dear friend to her in the short time she’d known him. How could she help him realize he was so much more than his father’s abuse?

‘What can I do to make you believe me?’

An epiphany came to her like a bolt of lightning straight to the heart. It was more than a little crazy and the thought of actually doing it was lowkey terrifying but she’d seen it work beautifully for Alison and her girlfriend Peyton that one time and hell, she was so desperate to help her friend that she’d do just about anything. And so before her anxious mind could start to overthink she surged forward, both hands still holding his face in a gentle grip, and firmly pressed her lips to his.

JJ’s eyes were almost comically wide while he stared, frozen still at her touch, and her own eyes were just as huge as she held the kiss for a few seconds and then abruptly pulled back, her face slowly changing into a shade very similar to her hair.

“Y-you, I-” He stuttered, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water as a deep pink flush started to color the tan skin of his neck. “Wh-why-”

“Because you are worthy, J. Promise me you won’t forget that.” Her words were as fierce as the hug she pulled him into, only letting the tension bleed out of her when she felt him gradually return her embrace and nod against her shoulder.

“I promise, Sail.”

“Good.”

And with that they fell silent, holding each other tight until the shower ran cold.

Sailor didn’t know it at the time but that hadn’t been just her first kiss but JJ’s too, as they never talked about it until two years later, during a game of truth or dare with the rest of the pogues. Neither actually told the truth, both giving a vague answer about a bet that seemed to placate their friends enough to let the matter drop, never to be brought up again.

The only kiss that happens today is the light brush of her lips against his forehead as she holds him close, even as the water slowly begins to lose its warmth. His embrace is tight, their limbs intertwined so fully that it’s hard to discern where one ends and the other begins and when he speaks, she has to strain to hear the words mumbled against her neck over the pounding spray of the shower.

“I don’t know how much more I can take.”

His confession cuts her deep. Hearing him admit something so utterly heartbreaking and vulnerable, coming from the side of him Sailor alone gets to see, ignites a fury that simmers under her skin and burns her from the inside out, thoughts turning venomous and, dare she say, downright homicidal. Fuck his dad. Fuck his dad and everything he’s ever done to hurt her best friend, both with and without fists.

“If I could get away with murder, I would.”

It’s true. For JJ, she’d do anything and everything to keep him safe without hesitation, up to and including maiming his dad so he could never touch him again (and if she happened to take it a little too far and straight up kill the bastard, she’d most definitely be fine with it.). He laughs, but it’s empty, hollow, and sorely lacking the joy, the carefreeness, the pure life that it normally radiates.

“You’re not the only one.”

Some time later, after the water raining down on them turns ice cold and their tears have dried, they reluctantly disentangle themselves from each other and towel off before making a quick detour to the kitchen to grab an ice pack for his ribs and have a meager dinner of sandwiches made with the last of her bread and a near empty jar of Nutella. He laughs, for real this time, when he reads the note she writes herself on the fridge future sailor, as much as you want to, you can’t live off just nutella and sheer spite, okay? please go shopping. love, past sailor <3 and grabs the marker out of her hand, adding +past jj and a little smiley face that makes her smile brightly.

They return to her room where they change, back to back, into dry clothes -one of her dresser drawers is full of his things she’s stolen acquired over the years- and, after throwing everything wet, including their discarded shirts and blanket retrieved from the bathroom, into the washing machine to be dealt with some other time, they lie on her bed side by side, shoulder to shoulder, wrapped up together in a spare throw stashed at the bottom of her closet. Binx slinks up from his spot at their feet and lazily drapes himself across their laps, purring like a motorboat when Sailor starts running her hand along his back.

“I almost sat on those,” JJ says, handing over her glasses, “and this.” He holds her forgotten book in his hands, casually flipping through the pages before turning it over and scanning the back cover.

“Have you read it before?”

He shrugs, a barely-there grimace briefly twisting his features as the motion jostles his sore ribs. “Started it, never finished.”

“Well,” She starts, slipping her glasses on and snatching the book out of his grasp, “how about we fix that? I’ll read, you pet the cat.”

Sailor’s voice is soft and steady as she starts to read aloud, a content smile on her face that’s echoed by the boy lying beside her when she settles against his side, head pillowed on the arm he curls around her shoulders without a thought. JJ’s the near perfect listener, only snickering once or twice at her total butchering of some of the more difficult Greek names (how come she can say Hephaestus just fine but gets tripped up on Dionysus?) but otherwise hanging off her every word and the relaxed ease with which he runs his hand through the ends of her damp hair fills her with a warmth, a happiness that she can’t describe but never wants to stop.

Hidden away from the rest of the world, curled up together on her bed, they forget the day’s past horrors and replace them with bright hopes for the future, exchanging comforting touches, deliberate yet played off as unintentional, in the soft glow of the bedside lamp -a caress of knuckles here, a brush of a palm there- as she reads into the night, until the cloudy sky darkens to black and they’re both fighting off the languid pull of sleep.

“I think that’s enough for today.” He plucks the book from her hands without waiting for a response and marks their place with a gas station receipt she was using as a makeshift placeholder, and setting it on the beside drawer.

“It’s your turn to read tomorrow,” He takes her glasses off with gentle fingers as she speaks into what little space still exists between them (that’s not otherwise occupied by Binx), smiling at the slow graze of his thumb along her cheek and nestles further against his side. “I’m done botching the names of deities for a while.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Damn it, Sailor kind of hates it when he says that cause it makes her feel things that she’s not quite ready to think about yet. Thankfully, her blush is swallowed by the darkness as he turns off the light and settles down beside her, arm slung low over her waist; her hand carefully brushes against his bruised ribs over the old shirt he wears, ice pack long ago thawed and thrown somewhere onto the hardwood floor.

“How do these feel? Better?”

She feels JJ nod, his chin brushing the top of her head. “Much.” There’s a pause, long enough that she starts to feel like she’s about to nod off, then he whispers, “Thank you, Sail. I know I don’t say it enough.”

She takes a deep breath, fingers stilling on his side, “Because you don’t need to, J. Remember what I said earlier, in the bathroom?”

He nods again but doesn’t reply, instead drawing circles on the small of her back, so she takes it as a cue to continue, “I care about you, okay? You don’t have to thank me for that. I’m just...doing what feels right.”

After a beat, the arm she’s using as a pillow curls and pulls her tighter against him as he says quietly, almost shyly, “I care about you, too.”

The rain outside had slowed to a drizzle without either teenager noticing and the gentle pitter-patter against the roof casts a somnolent spell into the air, dazed and dreamy. It wraps around the pair, not unlike the way they wrap around each other, and slowly, easily, safely, they drift off as one.

let me know what you think!

taglist ❤: @jiaraendgame @hmsjiara @heavensalreadyheres @obxsummer @maysbanks @alexa-playafricabytoto @sunflowerbecca @obxlife @obx-adventures @sexualparkour @mortifiedposts @coltonparayyko @miawantsapuppy @jjmaybanky

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0225pm · 4 years

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hellooooo i just got home after a long day out and felt like i should type everything while i’m still awake rn hehe

so a few days back we actually alr planned to have dinner with the gang today so that’s what we did lolol cus seanna alr booked a table for us as well so that we don’t have to wait in line.

i’m just gonna start the story of the day from the very beginning.

so yesterday night farhan told me his plan was to go pay for his bike and then he’ll come over to meet me but what time he’s coming would depends on what time he’s gonna be awake. i don’t mind cus as long as i can to spend some private time with him for the day it’s fine by me cus since we’re meeting the gang lol ok does it sound nice when i say gang cus it doesn’t seem right but wtvr nvm i guess we shall just say squad instead so yeah we were gonna meet the squad at 6pm so i felt like if i were to meet him like maybe 5pm it felt so late? in a sense that i’m unable to spend private time with him much for the day considering that by the time we head home he has to leave bc of his curfew. so yeah i think he reached my place around 3+?

so before he reached my place i alr picked out what to wear and this time round i knew what i wanted to wear like i think i made this decision is like a split second hahaha even tho i’m actually quite fickleminded but yeah i chose to wear a dress cus it was ezpz 😂 i just have to wear safety shorts instead of having to think of what to wear for the bottoms. actually i had two outfits in mind but considering how hot it was today i felt like jeans was out of the idea even tho my dress was black in color lol. and then i forgot that my hair dryer is a spoiled wtf so i had to sit in front of the fan and let it dry a little bit before i used this comb dryer thing to comb it out. honestly i much prefer using a hair dryer cus it’s faster and i guess there’s less hair fall i’m actually quite insecure about my hair lol i think i mentioned before in a prev post. and using the comb dryer makes me feel like it’s tugging a bit too hard onto my hair follicles since my hair itself is alr so fine and thin but the finishing is so pretty la. paired it with a hair oil and you’ll have nice smooth salon styled hair but still ya hair dryer la for now. then i prepped and all of sudden farhan was alr outside waiting hahaahha i actually saw that he alr arrived so i asked him if he’s coming up and before i knew it, he was alr outside knocking on my window. btw bb pls knock gently!! it’s louder on the inside than on the outside 😂😂😂 so then i let him in and i think he was a little frus? cus i wasn’t fully prepared or maybe cus he saw that i was just laying down on the bed before he came hahaha but ya so i let him in and this time i was perspiring like heck wtf. it’s rly damn humid today bruh ugh 🥵 then i went to do my hair and then changed into a home clothes since i has a feeling that we won’t be heading out yet and idw to sweat in my dress.

and then i came into my room and i saw that he was eating subway and then i looked down and he passed me one!!!! haissss ;-; he took note of what i wanted wtf and even took note of the kind of bread i like which is flatbread cus it rly is like a pita bread so damn soft and chewy i love it!!!! my next fav bread is honey oats hehe take note ah bb if flatbread ever sold out LOLLLL 😂 as for the mains i’ve only ever tried a few on their menu and by far i think for chicken i rly like their teriyaki chicken. so he got it for me and without veggies omg. we were having a conversation about it cus he said that he ordered subway to eat at home first before coming over and then we talked about the kind of sauce and the mains and veggies etc etc and i guess he was sort of taking notes also??? or maybe he saw my tweet hahaha cus the other day i posted that i wanted subway 😂 either way it’s so sweet la hais hahaha so easy to make me happy hahaha just feed me food and let me complain that i’m gaining weight and then tell me that it’s okay you’ll still love me even if i grew like a balloon lololol 😂😂😂 and they rly tk lokek with the chicken sia wtf it was so sedapppppp legit cravings satisfied but now that i’m typing this i got the feels to have subway again wtfffff maybe this time their subway melt main or the chicken ham hehe or maybe i should try their chicken breast cus i heard that one is good if you add extra cheese but i scared the chicken breast will be too dry tbh so that’s why i never rly got the strong feel to try it.

#adaywithhan #augustwithhan

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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783

Are you afraid of lifts? Enough to make me never want to get on one alone. I honestly can’t remember I wasn’t on an elevator with anyone, and I prefer dragging someone along.

Who did you last talk to in person? Is that person attractive? My sister. I feel like pretty is a more suitable word for me to use as attractive feels somewhat creepy lmao.

Have you ever had a deep, personal conversation with a stranger? Yeah. Back in my internship I had to be present to assist one of our clients who was gonna be a guest in a morning talk show, and after his segment we had breakfast at a nearby restaurant where he talked about his life and his struggles to get to where he is now. It was such an insightful conversation and he was incredibly wise. As shy as I was then, I never forgot that talk and I’m really grateful for the experience.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your own appearance? Why? Idk, an 8 maybe? I’m generally ok with my looks, minus my teeth and how frizzy my hair can get sometimes.

Who was the last person to send you a message on Facebook? When was the last time you saw that person? Angela. The last time I saw her was when we went out to BGC to drink and party, whenever that was. I think it was the last weekend of February?

If you decided, at this moment in time, that you were going to make a sandwich, what would you put on it? Ham and cheese.

Let’s talk about the person you had your first kiss with. Do you still talk to that person? If so, do you still like them? Would you kiss them again? Yep, I’m on the phone with her right now. Yes and yes.

When was the last time you saw your ex? No ex.

Are you good at controlling your emotions, or do you tend to let them get the better of you? I can be good at controlling them, but once it gets personal I allow them to take over me.

At this moment in time, what do you want the most? Sushi.

How many times have you cried over the person you love/like? Too many to count on one hand, and for various reasons. Not to say she makes me miserable, it’s just because she has the ability to affect me the most.

How exactly are you feeling right now? Why do you feel the way you do? I ammmmmmm feeling a little hungry because it’s been a while since we had dinner, and very awake thanks to the cup of coffee I just finished. I’m also comforted by the fact that my girlfriend is just on the other line at the moment.

What’s the relationship status of the last person that put their arms around you? He is married.

Has the last person you held hands with, ever told you that they love you? So many times.

Is there someone you used to hang out with all the time, and now you don’t anymore? If so, do you ever miss that person? Why do you think your relationship changed? Yeah dude, a lot of people. I miss some and I don’t miss some. The reasons are different for everyone; like I grew apart with Sofie because college had just physically torn us apart there was no way for us to be able to keep up with each other; Katreen found her own circle in college and slowly stopped talking to me; Athenna simply turned into a really bitter person after high school; Macy had personal issues to fix and she just sort of tuned a lot of people out in the process, including me. I’m just glad I’ve learned to not be resentful about these failed friendships.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘H’? What color are that person’s eyes? I think it was Hannah. Brown.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘M’? How did you meet that person? Angela’s first name is Maria so I’m counting that hahaha. We met in first grade. We were seatmates and I accidentally stabbed her palm with a pencil, making it bleed. The rest was history.

The person you love/like is offered a job in another country. Would you let them go, or try and convince them to stay? Let them go. We’ve discussed this a bunch of times.

Is there anyone you dislike so much, that you actually can’t stand to be around them? I don’t always actively dislike her, but after years of verbal abuse I can never be comfortable being alone with my mom for more than a few minutes. I’m incapable of keeping up a conversation with her and I also don’t like it when she reaches her hand out to touch me, and I always automatically flinch just enough for her not to notice.

When was the last time you wanted to cry, but didn’t, because you didn’t want to show that you were upset? Why? Uhh I guess this morning lol. I was watching a compilation video of emotional segments in WWE but with my siblings in the same room, I didn’t wanna show that I was crying. Super trivial but yeah.

If you found out that someone had been talking about you behind your back, would you confront them? Depends what they’d been saying, but honestly probably not. I’d just bitch about it to my friends. < Pretty much. This is exactly what I did when I caught wind that Patrice was talking shit/spreading a rumor about me behind my back. OMG I’m so glad she’s out of my life

Which do you think is the worst - saying something and then wishing you hadn’t, or not saying something and wishing you had? The first one, because then the damage had been done.

Do you know anyone who seems almost incapable of showing their emotions? Uh not really? Everyone I know is expressive in some way.

What are 3 things that are guaranteed to make you smile, or put you in a good mood? Dogs, when I meet up with Gab and I see her, and pretty views.

Do you look more like your mum or your dad? Half of my face is my mom, and half of it is my dad. I never get the same answer when I ask my friends who I look more like.

When was the last time you saw your grandparents? I saw my paternal grandparents on the third weekend of February, as is tradition whenever my dad comes back home to the country. I don’t remember the last time I saw my grandma on my mom’s side but it was probably the start of the year? because my mom will sometimes drive by the house to check up on her.

Have you ever felt really attracted to someone, but been deterred because you found out they didn’t have a very nice personality? Yeah, like I went to high school with so many pretty people but most of them had a bit of an attitude and just liked to stick with their cliques. Typical high school behavior.

Have you ever hugged/kissed someone you’d only just met? Probably when I’ve gotten drunk and became friends with anyone I’d interact with lolol

Where is the person you would most like to see/be with? She is at home, in the upper part of the city.

When was the last time you bought a CD/DVD? Which one was it? 2013. It was either an Audrey Hepburn movie or a Beyoncé concert DVD.

Have you ever gone against someone’s advice and then regretted it? Probably? Angela will sometimes give me advice only for me to completely go against it hahahahahaha

Would you ever apologize for something that wasn’t your fault? Always. It’s what I picked up after years of my mom accusing me for every little thing...

What’s been the best thing about your day so far? It’s only 2:11 AM, but I’m loving the fact that I’m on a call with Gabie, I guess. We don’t really call a lot, not even during quarantine, so I’m feeling happy right now.

Has anyone ever cried in your arms before? Sure.

Who was the last person you talked to, whose name started with ‘C’? Is that person older or younger than you? Ugh I don’t even remember, Tina probably? Her full name is Christina. She’s a year older.

Do you keep a lot of things from your parents? Pretty much everything.

Who was the last person you confided in? Do you regret it? Gabie. I have no reason to regret it, she’s my girlfriend and best friend.

What was the last film you watched, that you hadn’t seen before? What kind of film was it? What did you think of it? I’ve repeated this answer so many times, but Knives Out. It was a whodunnit/mystery film, and I wouldn’t have watched it if Gab had not personally invited me to see it with her. I hated every second of it, though I’m glad not a lot of people were in the cinema then because it allowed me to pull out my phone and use Twitter without distracting anyone haha.

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you hugged/kissed? Lots.

Using one word only, describe the day you’ve had so far. Short (so far).

#survey #surveys

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toomanysurveys9 · 5 years

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What were you doing 45 minutes ago? almost home probably. What’s the longest you have gone without sleep? almost 48 hours. What was the last thing you said aloud? i told lillith to not hold eliana like she had her. Have you bought anything new this week? i don’t think so. no money. Name one person who made you smile today. my kids. that’s two people. but i’m a rebel.

What’s the last thing you had to drink? a green monster. Ever go camping? eh. i don’t know if you’d count what i’ve done as camping. lol. but kind of? What’s your favorite candy? reese cups. Do you send messages on Facebook a lot? sometimes i guess. What’s the best ice cream flavor? depends where i’m getting it from. if it’s from the chief, their strawberry or peanut butter seems to be my favorite this year. Have you ever gone to a strip club? no. i have no interest to either. Last sporting event you watched? i don’t watch them. What color is your toothbrush? blue and white. Have you ever made a promise you swore to keep? well, yeah. i think most kids do at some point. What were you doing at 8am this morning? trying to get the energy to get up for my second interview/job shadowing for the registered behavior technician position. WHICH I GOT BY THE WAY. i just have to do a 40 hour course and past a test to become a RBT and then i can start. Anything you wish you could change? well, yes. Do you go in at a fast food place or drive thru? mostly drive-thru. jacob doesn’t like to go in. What do you think when you hear Australia? steve irwin. Who’s the last person you talked to on the phone? i don’t remember.. Do you like Chinese food over pizza? not lately. it’s been awhile since i’ve had chinese food. Favorite pair of shoes/boots you wear all the time? i don’t really have a favorite pair. but i usually wear my flip flops. they’re not all that comfy though. What do you see when you look up? the ceiling. Do you have a tan? nooo. Biggest annoyance in life right now? not having our own house. lol. it has its pros and cons. Do any of your friends have children? a majority of them do. Who was the last person you talked to over IM? i don’t know and don’t feel like looking. Are you jealous of anyone? not jealous, i don’t think. although maybe a little bit for people with their lives together or husbands that actually show they love and care about their wife and kids... i definitely have a good dose of envy probably more than jealousy. What color is your watch? i use my phone. Where is your dad? in his room. Any plans today? nope. just gotta wait for jacob to get home so i can feed him, myself, and wyatt (wyatt had a late lunch so he isn’t ready to eat yet or he would). Do you drink your soda with a straw? depends. if we’re out and they give us one, yes. if not, then not usually. Last song listened to? i don’t remember. it was just a song on the radio. Do you take vitamins daily? i should since i’m still breastfeeding but no. Is anyone jealous of you? i highly doubt that. lol. For your next survey, would you rather it be long, short or medium? it’s a little easier to finish the shorter ones. but i prefer medium to long ones. lol. What are you doing tomorrow? no plans. have to make our house payment if i can swing it. What’s your favorite number? i don’t have one. Do you have a maid come in and clean your house? nope. although it wouldn’t hurt if we did. ha. Does it bother you when surveys ask for people’s names? not really. What do you usually do during the day? hang out with my babies. i hate that it’s going to change soon because i had to get a job. and i’m scared because my mom’s health is still not great. but jacob’s not willing to step up and i’ve gotta do what i have to do. Can you say the alphabet backwards? i could. What’s your birthstone? sapphire. Do you love someone? of course i do. Do you use the word “Hello” daily? maybe not hello exactly... but i probably say some form of it daily. Cedar Point or Six Flags? i can’t remember which one i went to. i think it was cedar point though . Have you ever slept in until 1 PM? probably. it’s been awhile though. Do you believe in love at first sight? not romantic love at first sight. but i’m a mom. so i definitely think it’s possible to love someone when you first see them. Do you like the show Viva La Bam? i’ve never seen it. List 5 favorite colors. black, blue, purple, and gray. i don’t know of a fifth i’d consider a favorite. Is it cloudy today? a bit. it might storm tonight. Last CD you listened to? panic at the disco. Is there something you want to tell someone? not that i feel like posting here. When you eat Frosted Flakes, do you add sugar in it? nope. it’s sweet enough without adding to it. Has someone ever hurt you before? yeah. many people have. How many kids do you want to have? i have two and they’re the perfect two for me. Have you ever gone behind your parents backs? yeah. Have you ever lost someone? yeah. it sucks. What’s your favorite thing in your room? hm. my hufflepuff pillow. Where is your best friend right now? i don’t know. Who’s the biggest hugger you know? no one comes to mind. Where did you get your worst scar from? a manager at mcdonalds pushed me into a fryer basket i had just pulled out. What time did you wake up today? it was a little before 7 i think. Do you want to change your name? nope. it’s fine. Have you ever tried to erase someone from your memory? i guess so. it never works. Does it bother you when people don’t spell correctly? i’m kind of used to it. my mom struggles with reading and writing. Last meal? i had a sub for lunch from subway. it was ham, pepper jack cheese, spinach, tomatoes, green peppers, onions, black olives, and mayo. Do you like coco pebbles the cereal? yeah. Last time you saw your father? it was soon after we got home. i don’t know exactly how long ago, but it wasn’t too long ago. Last time you cried? not too long ago. my last really good cry was my birthday because my mom and jacob got mad at me. over stupid shit i had no control over.

#survey #surveys #personal #question #questions #random

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objectlemon · 5 years

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Fat Twig: Part 1

Pen wasn’t the most outstanding contestant. He had never been involved in any type of fight or scandal in the show, and his personality could be summed as average, but if you asked anyone about what they know about him most of them would answer the same thing.

He was really, really, skinny.

Pen didn’t know why, maybe it was his freakishly fast metabolism, or the fact that he didn’t really ate a lot, unlike his other two best friends, Eraser and Blocky, which were more chubbier in comparison.

But he didn’t have any kind of muscle, so he looked like a beanpole to many people. He didn’t really mind all the comments about his slender body, but he would still want to bulk up some extra body mass.

He was currently standing on his room in dream island, admiring himself in the mirror. He stood there shirtless, flexing in order to find even the smallest sign of muscle under his almost-underweight body.

No matter how much Pen wanted to deny it, he was skinny as shit, and there wasn’t even the tiniest sign of any kind of muscle under his arms.

He sighed in defeat. Pen sat in his best, completely disappointed. He took off the blue cap that he always wore.and put it in the nightstand.

“Man… I wish I could bulk up like Blocky and Eraser…”

He suddenly felt his stomach rumbling. How long was he checking himself out in the mirror?

“Maybe I should eat something…”

He got dressed and went down to the cafeteria. Dream island was what the Announcer promised- a paradise of luxury built to fulfill any kind of fantasy the owner wanted, but to everyone’s surprise the mix of the six different restaurants and the robot servants obviously let all the contestants indulge of a lifestyle of laziness.

The change wasn’t noticeable at first. The contestants’ stomach only had gained a small chunk of flab, but as the months went by all of Dream island’s inhabitants started to pack on the pounds.

Apparently, Pen was the only one that wasn’t affected- Snowball had gained even more fat than he already had, Woody had gained enough weight to allow a muffin top to show through his clothes, and Firey had been the most affected out of the bunch. His usual slender, skinny stomach transformed into an actual gut. He seemed pleased with his new body, even if he got weird looks from everyone else, and that was only three out of all the other folks that had gained weight.

Pen grabbed himself a sandwich out of the buffet and sat in the chairs of the cafeteria. Like everything else in dream island, it was a snow-like white color. It seemed like more like a palace than a resort.

He started to munch on the sandwich. With one bite grease started to stain his plain white shirt. Every single food in the island was filled with as many calories as possible. Even something as simple as a sandwich was fattening. The bread was buttered up, it had at least five stripes of greasy bacon, ham, chicken strips, and no sign of vegetables.

As he slowly ate the greasy sandwich Eraser and Blocky sat beside him- Eraser’s tight pink tank top didn’t manage to cover his belly button. Blocky’s red jacket wasn’t able to be zipped, and the white shirt underneath it seemed more like a glorified bra for his man boobs.

“Hey, Pen! How you doing?” Eraser put his arm around Pen, making his gut press against the brunette.

Pen blushed as he felt Eraser’s load of body mass pressing against him. Eraser’s gut was like dough, soft and malleable. “I-I’m doing good!”

Blocky stuffed an entire chocolate donut into his mouth. “Still deciding to not eat jack shit?” He talked with his mouth full, making crumbs fall over his shirt.

Pen nervously chuckled. “Y-yeah… although I’m planning to bulk up a little…” He looked down to his chest, realising he hadn’t made any kind of improvement to gain any kind of muscle mass. He took another bite out of the sandwich, all the greasy meat being chewed and going down his throat.

“Well, eating a single sandwich for breakfast won’t help you any time soon.” Blocky got up and slowly went towards the buffet. “I’m gonna get you something to eat.”

Pen nervously fiddled with his fingers. He didn’t know why, but the way Eraser and Blocky acted at their newfound weight made him feel… weird, but not in a bad way. The good kind of “weird”- something he couldn’t explain. “O-okay…” While Blocky went to the buffet he slowly finished the sandwich, grease spreading across all his hands.

He looked over to the side. Eraser was shoving pancakes into his mouth, not bothering to close his mouth as he chewed. His tank top was just inches away of ripping to shreds. Pen didn’t know why seeing both of his best friends mindlessly eating was… hot. Very hot.

Blocky came back with a tray filled with food- four greasy sandwich like the one Pen was eating, two milkshakes and a muffin. “Here you go!”

“W-wow! All this food for me?! Wow!” Pen was a blushing mess. He had never been more pampered in his life.

Blocky smirked, finding Pen’s reaction cute. “Go on, buddy. Eat up!”

Pen grabbed a napkin and put it around the first sandwich. He took a bite, earning a smile out of his two best friends. He had a hard time eating it, since the sandwich was bigger than the average sandwich he ate during his days in the TLC and the LOL.

Despite having a napkin grease was still smeared all across the brunette’s shirt. Pen accidentally let a moan slip as he forced the sandwich down his throat, but he was too dazed by his own food-driven trance. He didn’t even realize that Eraser and Blocky were helping him to push down the sandwich down his throat.

Pen, somehow, managed to finish the sandwich by slowly chewing it and swallowing. There was not a single moment where his mouth wasn’t full. “Phew… t-that was a lot.”

Eraser had a devilish smile on his face. “Aw… but you gotta eat the rest of your breakfast…” He, along with Eraser pushed the second sandwich into Pen’s mouth.

Pen rubbed his stomach as he felt it being filled, while the pair helped him chew and swallow.

He rolled his eyes in pleasure as he felt meat being shoved down his throat. Pen didn’t know why, but the feeling of being helpless while his best friends mercilessly forced him to eat made him feel amazing, almost erotic-like.

When he finished, Pen burped. Nobody looked at him, having grown accustomed to burps being constantly spewed by all the contestants who stuffed themselves beyond their usual limit.

He didn’t even put any kind of resistance when he felt Blocky grabbing his chin and lifting his face up while Eraser poured the entire milkshake into his mouth.

Moans started to slip more often as Eraser and Blocky continued to force food down their best friend’s throat.

Finally, only the single muffin remained. Pen’s stomach was bright red and stretched like an over inflated balloon. He had never eaten so much before. He was soaking wet with arousal as he rubbed his stomach.

Eraser lifted up the muffin and put it near Pen’s mouth. “Come on… eat.”

Pen hesitantly opened his mouth and chewed. His stomach was about to rupture, and he had never felt more aroused in his life.

Eraser patted Pen’s bloated stomach. “Good boy…”

They carried him to his bed and left him on his bed, almost passed out. They stood on the outside of Pen’s room, both of them incredibly aroused.

Blocky bit his lip. “He’s so cute when he’s trying to shove food down his own throat…”

“I know! I wonder… If we can help him pack on the pounds…” Eraser had a perverted smile on his face, dripping with lust.

“You just read my mind…”

#battle for cream island #battle for butts #stuffing

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kfawkes · 6 years

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You Ready, Luv? (Part 4) - [Eggsy Unwin x Reader]

[Hoooly shit lol. This is so damn long, and I could have even made it longer but I forced myself to stop lol. I’m seriously getting myself so deep in this, and now I just… well I’m going a little ham lol. Hope you like it guys, as always I love reading your comments and stuff! You’re why I do this, so I want you happy ;.; <3 ANYWAY ENJOY!

Pairing: Eggsy x Fem!Reader

Words: 3.6 I’m so fucking sorry hahahaha.

Warnings: Cursing! Lots.

—Read on Ao3!]

You’re with Eggsy and everything is quiet… You can smell him and feel him, and you’re sure that he’s real. There’s so much you want to say to him but, you stay completely silent. You don’t tell him how much he means to you because, well, you never do. You always just assumed he could tell. That he just knew…

Now, you’ll never be able tell him that his smile is what keeps you going.

Now, you’ll never be able to tell him that his laugh alone could brighten even your darkest of days.

When you looked at him now as he sit quietly besides you, he smiled that cheeky grin you’d grown to know as yours; and you knew wholeheartedly that you loved him.

You’d known for awhile now though, hadn’t you? And as you scan those azure eyes and that perfect jawline, you wondered why you couldn’t just say it… Why couldn’t you just… tell him?

Only, you already know you hadn’t told him because you’ve always been too afraid. You’ve always been a coward, and now you wished you had the guts when it mattered… And you realized that there was something worse than loving, and that was losing it.

Having it taken… ripped—

“You in there?”

Now you’re beginning to realize you weren’t with Eggsy at all… That you had been off in some hallucination of a seemingly perfect night you’d had months ago. You looked around, and you realized you were still locked in that damn room with this toothy son of a bitch. Whatever was in that gas really messed with your mind— bad, and you didn’t like how it felt one bit.

“Where did you go?” Artemis asked with curiously lining his voice, once again reminding you how stuck you really were.

“Doesn’t matter… I think you were in the middle of threatening me?” You asked pointedly avoiding his question as best you could. You were hoping for strong, but you feared you looked more weak than anything. “I think it was something like…’You’ll see’?” When you replied your voice was just above a whisper. “This is getting boring, Artemis. Get on with it.”

You knew right then that being a bitch wasn’t your best bet, but you felt a fire light and could hardly control the words leaving your lips. Your mind moved a mile a minute, overlapping with question after question: All of them pressing against your temples as your pulse elevated with each short breath in. But instead of asking any of them, you were silent— like you always were, watching the way his chest rose and fell trying to figure out the best way to play this game.

“Your little boyfriend, Galahad, has made quite a few enemies, hasn’t he?” Artemis narrowed his eyes as he half sat on his desk; crossing his feet at the ankles. He tilted his head slowly, leaning forward to point at you with the smallest smirk spread tightly over his thin lips. “There are many that want to see him dead… But there are some that would pay a lot more just to see him suffer.”

There it was.

The fear. Biting you sharply; sinking its fangs in as a inky poison spread into the wound. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t keep the terror from slipping across your face.

You wanted to ask who, but you weren’t looking to get laughed at. There was no way he would tell you anything you could use, and if he did— you knew that conversation would likely end in death.

You also sort of already knew the answer… Everyone and also no one at all.

With how many missions you two had been on these last 9 months, and the types of people you usually went against— the options were almost endless.

That uneasy golden smile spread showing you once more how dangerous being with Eggsy could be.

You may have loved him silently in attempts to make things appear less serious than everyone knew they were— but deep down you knew you weren’t fooling anyone.

Here’s where the guilt kicks back in… You start asking yourself questions like how could you be so stupid. How could you be so damn careless and how could you have been so fucking selfish?

It didn’t matter what you said or did, because ultimately Artemis laughed at you anyway. And as that maniacal laugh taunted your sanity it reminded you that this all could have been prevented.

There hadn’t been a day that passed where you didn’t wonder if that mission would be it… the one that ruined it all. The big fat ‘I told you so’, when someone got smart enough, and finally played this card. You had imagined a million and one scenarios, but this wasn’t even close to those and now as it taunt you, you didn’t know what to do.

Artemis shook his head at you, sending out the universal sound of disapproval as he walked to the bolted door. He raised his hand and began tapping his knuckle to the metal with a few hollow thuds. “You actually love that bloke don’t you…”

You didn’t have to say a word for him to read the answer written across your face.

“Good…” He pushed his hands together before his chest, rubbing them excitedly. “I think we better get things going, don’t you? For this next part… I’m going to need your help.”

And now it was your time to laugh… did this idiot seriously think you’d just agree to help him?

But after a second the way he eyed you like a toy shook you to your core and showed you that he did. A cold chill spread over you instantly, freezing you in place as your laugh died in your throat.

“Let’s get one thing clear here, Artemis… You can do anything you want to me, but I will never help you.” Your words came out as dark and threatening as you could muster, and you hoped it was enough. And you meant it, there was no limit to the amount of torture you would endure if it meant keeping Eggsy safe.

You’d die before you’d let anything happen to that man… Now you realize, you probably will.

“Thought you might say that, and honestly I wouldn’t mind having some fun with you. But my— let’s call her my partner.” When he started again his tone insinuated in a whisper. “Well, she wants things done a certain way, so it really is best for everyone that things go according to plan.”

“I don’t fucking care about your partner, or what she wants. She can go fuck herself.” You growled spitting on the ground at his feet. It was a bit much considering you’d never done that sort of thing before, but you just sort of acted and honestly no limit was too low for you right now.

Artemis just laughed at you again before looking to his feet with a face full of disgust. A second later he raised his hand and slammed it into your cheek; you felt the popping as your skin split, followed by the warm beed of blood trailing your cheek. To be perfectly honest it’d been awhile since you’d been hit that hard, but you didn’t show him him that.

“Sorry… but I really,” He lied rather poorly making a face while he eye his shoe unhappily. “really hate germs.”

You watched as he raised a hand, snapping his finger to the side. Within a second a mechanical piece popped forward from the wall, then slid up revealing a narrow walkway.

A tall thin woman walked out, bent down and wiped anywhere you’d spit without saying a word. The room was completely silent aside from the soft clicking of her heels followed by the hissing of the door pulling down; sealing shut once more behind a seamless wall.

There was a part of you that knew you should have been paying more attention to that woman, to what she looked like— where she was going. But with a brain still full of smog, and a mouth nearly bursting with questions you barely remembered a thing about her.

“Now… where was I?” When Artemis spoke this time, he sounded almost confused as he squint his eyes; searching the back of his lids for direction.

After a literal ‘Ah ha!’ moment he started again, but there was something strangely casual about his voice now. That tone was more unnerving than his creepy fucking smile had been.

“Oh, right… I was just about to show you what your darling Galahad has been up to while you’ve been sleeping. Are you interested?”

Just at the mention of Eggsy’s codename you felt a flicker low in your gut. Your eyes sent a soft twinge and you wanted to scream in his face, but instead you swallowed down the lump forming in your throat as you stare at him unwaveringly.

“Who am I kidding, of course you do. You are probably just worried sick, aren’t you?” Artemis turned to the computer placing his hand over on the tiny dragon on the screen; pressing a certain combination with his fingertips across its 8bit body.

You tried to watch… to remember the combination— but you could hardly focus on anything at all. How would you be expected to remember this if you couldn’t even remember what color hair the woman had?

When Artemis finished two more screens slid up from the desk and began projecting various areas of the base. At first you didn’t want to look because you knew this was all a game to him and by looking; you were letting him win in a way. But once you heard Eggsy’s voice echoing through the speaker you couldn’t help but dart towards it almost desperately.

‘I gotta get her outta there, but I’m fucked, Merlin…’

And there he was… in the middle of a screen standing in some control room. The walls was lined in tall conduits with large monitors and machines attached to them. Eggsy seemed to be locked in while he type away at the center consoles and when you slid your eyes to the other screen you saw just what he was hiding from.

“My men have been waiting for awhile now… They’re getting pretty bored, if you can imagine. But they’re good dogs, just waiting for me to give them the go ahead. And if I don’t tell them, well, they go anyway after about— five minutes now.“ He paused looking at you almost apologetically. “Oh, I’ve really been wasting your time…”

This is the part where confusion sets its root, and all you can see is a big fat timer counting down from five. But you watched with anxiety resting under your bust as Artemis drew your attention to a few areas on the screen besides Eggsy. “You see these? I like to call them Billows… These little guys are something I came up with. They act sorta like a bomb— in a way. But instead of causing a great big fiery explosion, they sends out a wave,”

Artemis pointed to another few small black dots on the screen as he smile wildly at you; and now your heart is pounding so fast you can hardly separate one thump from the last.

“Sort of like— an ultrasonic wave it you will. They’re petty small, but they pack a big punch and they just-” He slammed his hands together in a loud bang while making a loud popping noise; causing you to jump in the seat you were strapped to. “It’s veeeery messy, and honestly we’d rather not have to do all that. Galahad is very important to this whole thing, and our success depends almost entirely on his making it out of here with you. But, ultimately you get to decide…”

Artemis exhaled still holding a smile as he pushed a hand forward signaling your choices in his hands. “What’s it gonna be?” He made a loud rumbling sound mimicking an explosion not moving his eyes from yours as he continue. "Or… do you want to go home? Back to your perfect life with your perfect boyfriend, and your perfect dog…”

The way he ended was far too good to be true. There was no way Artemis was just going to let you walk out of here like nothing had happened. This had to be some kind of trick, another trap, something.

“Bullshit.” You called, not believing him for a second. But… you also didn’t want to watch Eggsy turn into a fucking omelet in about 4 minutes; So there was a part of you that you couldn’t stop from continuing. “There’s no way you’re letting us leave… just like that.”

“I can see why you’d say that. In your position— it’s not really that believable. But you don’t really have any other choice, do you? And time is ticking…”

Now you couldn’t believe your thoughts, but you wanted to ask Artemis what exactly he wanted from you… How much was it going to cost to get Eggsy out of there. The worst part was that you almost didn’t care what it might be.

“Wh… what do you want?” When you finished Artemis muted the computer turning towards you with a smile more chilling than the last; and immediately you missed the sound of Eggsy’s voice.

Your eyes were glued to that screen, each second Eggsy’s mouth moved inaudibly brought you closer to giving in… It was somewhere around 3 minutes now, and you watched painfully as his lips moved— cursing up a storm no doubt. You watched as he slid a hurried hand through his hair, panicking and pleading with who you could only assume was Merlin… His face pulled somewhere between confusion and distress while he try everything he could to get out of this mess.

God, he looked so… scared. And as you feel the seconds slipping away like sand, you realized you two never even stood a chance.

This plan was perfect. Whoever the hell set all of this up knew you— and they knew Eggsy. They knew he’d never leave you, they knew you’d do whatever you had to for him… And now, they were going to win.

As those seconds passed you felt a hopelessness cascading under your skin viciously, pulling you down until you were stuffed in the ground. Buried 6 feet and losing air… and you knew what you had to happen: You had to play your part. “What do you need me to do…”

Artemis released a relieved sigh, still sporting that mischievous smile as he answered you. “We just need you to drink this, that’s all. I mean… we could force it down your throat. But— it’s important that you do it willingly.”

You watched in near awe, trying to understand his words as he reached into his jacket pocket, pulling out a thin blue vial; tilting it back and forth in the light.

“Wh… what is it?”

But part of you didn’t even care what it was or what it might do yo you… As long as Eggsy was okay after all this you’d pay whatever price you had to. You owed it to him after all, didn’t you?

“It won’t kill you… Honest.” Artemis reminded you with another smile, holding the vial out to you once more. A second later he scoffed, rolling his eyes while he signal to your bound arms. “Guess I should untie you first.”

It was strange how nonchalant he acted, and you watched him as you would a spider making its way across the floor. He let out another loud snap to the side as the woman appeared once again through the mechanical clockwork. This time you could see her face… and you could tell she was absolutely not human.

She looked human— sort of. But, there just was something off about her; uncanny… wrong. And those eyes. They were a bright silver; far too silver to be natural and your own eyes widened in disbelief as she untied each of your arms carefully.

A moment later you pulled your wrist between your other hand, rubbing the rawness away as you stare up at the both of them under furrowed brow. Your instincts kicked in and you jumped up ready to fight your way out of this mess— but before you even pushed yourself from the chair; the woman shot her leg straight out and into your chest, pinning you back to the chair painfully with a sharp heel.

There was no way the force you felt came from a human— So what the fuck was she? No matter how hard you pulled at the heel that punctured deeply into your shoulder; it didn’t budge. You started to feel as the warm blood slide down your chest; ticking you as Artemis lean forward dangling the vial before your eyes.

“You’ve got about a minute now, Tristan…”

Now you realized that you were not going to get out this, and that in about 60 seconds Eggsy would be blasted to shit… That was if Artemis wasn’t lying, of course. But something deep told you he wasn’t the type as strange as that sounds.

“You take this, you drink it down like a good girl,” He emphasized, pressing the vial towards you. “or I kill him, then lock you in with his bits and pieces until you starve to death.”

You grabbed the vial forcefully, staring down at it as your hands tremble ferociously at your choices. Clearly he wasn’t playing nice anymore, and now it was hard to keep those warm tears from slipping. You looked at the monitor one last time as the sharp pang in your chest rumbled. “What will it do to me…”

“Times running out… luv.” Artemis said far too pointedly to be accidental as he signaled over his shoulder to the screen Eggsy decorated.

You watched the man you loved as the seconds ticked away… this was it and the dread was so heavy that it ached in your chest and you thought for sure you’d get sick from the pressure alone.

But then, you just knew what you had to do. You sort of always knew though, didn’t you?

So you lifted the vial to your lips, tiled your head back and swallowed whatever that shit was in one quick gulp; gripping the vial tightly between your fingers when you finished. It tasted like metal, and was cold as ice as it slid down your throat. You could even feel a coating lining the way to your stomach, and that thought was almost too much for you to handle.

Moments later you felt a sharp prickle over your entire body as you looked to your hands, your body filling with sharp pressing fear… if this wasn’t going to kill you, then what was it going to do?

“Wh…what’s happening— to me?” You felt the coldness encase you, spreading up your throat as the room began fading to black. Flashes of light and Artemis’ smile blurred together and sometimes you could even see Eggsy in there.

You felt as the woman, or whatever she was— slide her heel from your chest and in that moment you were sure you would vomit from the pain. The ache threw your chest forward towards your legs as you press your hand to the wound strenuously.

When you looked up with heavy eyes, you expected to see Eggsy on the screen… but you only saw flashes of that stupid fucking dragon flapping its wings most happily behind the bastard before you. The rest of the room looked exactly how it had before you were gassed now too… everything you’d knocked over was put back perfectly. Anything that broke was pieced back together… It looked like nothing happened at all.

“Wh… whadid…”

“Another something I made just for you, Tristan…” Artemis cooed, and you could sort of see the woman walking through the door; her arms full of the bindings that had once held you to the chair and several broken trinkets.

“Don’t worry, you’ll be alright— just like I promised… But you won’t remember any of this. You won’t remember meeting me, or talking to me… you wont even know what you’ve done until it’s too late.” He whispered malevolently— those words echoing around you until they were a part of you. Rumbling through and through as you fought with the darkness that called your name so sweetly.

“We will see you soon very soon.” Artemis’ voice traveled as if on air, and you could barely make out his footsteps as he retreated through the door.

And then… he was gone. The door was gone and it looked just like a normal wall… it looked just like a normal room. Everything was perfect.

For half a second you wondered if maybe you’d just made it all up… that the gas had just mixed your brain and you were hallucinating like before… Only the dull pang in your chest and the bright red blood reminded you otherwise.

Reminded you of a choice between this vial and Eggsy, and you pleaded with yourself to just focus. To hold onto that bottle, and to any bit of information you could…

But as the seconds dwindle away you’re not sure what to think anymore and you can’t shake the feeling that you’re starting to forget something… Something very important… If only you could just focus, then maybe you could remember what you’re not supposed to forget…

Except it’s hard to focus with the room fading into darkness… and it was hard to remember with a thick fog creeping in through your mouth and nose; erasing things it doesn’t want you to know…

And as you look to that fucking dragon one last time… You watched a bright golden circle flicker behind its wings before they both faded away; leaving you in complete darkness.

Cold, empty… darkness.

#eggsy x reader #eggsy imagine #eggsy unwin x reader #Kingsman #Kingsman fic #fanfic #update #eggsy #Eggsystential Crisis

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lavidaatravezdeunavion · 5 years

Text

Week One

June 15/16

The long and grueling travel is finally over; I’m in Buenos Aires!! Let me mention that my flight from MIA to EZE was delayed an hour but coincidentally, my roommate and another friend were also in MIA because their flight was also delayed...five hours. They had been there since 6pm so i couldn't really complain too much about my delay but I got on the next available flight and was delighted to get the aisle seat. I settled in with my free pillow and blanket, I browsed the free inflight entertainment and watched Captain Marvel (it was as tony the tiger would say “There GRRRRRRReat!”). I fell asleep soon after dinner was served around 2am and thankfully was able to sleep for about five hours, but that last hour and a half was full of turbulence.

When we finally landed, I was a little sad since it was rainy and dark outside. On top of that, there was a country wide black out (our taxi driver said that the dam that generates the power for Argentina was broken! He said it might have been an accident but he wouldn't doubt that someone might have done something to it on purpose...) We were in the taxi for about 40 mins; I was too tired to keep my eyes open and had fallen asleep! As we pull up to the residence, the taxi driver yells “levantase mija ya llegamos.” I got into the room and wanted to take a shower immediately; I felt like after traveling for 12+ hours you just feel so nasty. Of course I hopped into the shower using my phone flashlight to make sure I didn’t slip, but to be fair our shower is like 2ft by 2ft so there really is no room to fall. I got out the shower and then took a four hour nap, and thankfully when I woke up the power was back on.

I got ready to go to dinner with our group at a restaurant called “Rietti” (Jorge Luis Borges 2205) it was a cute cafe a couple blocks from our residence. I ordered a “Milanesa de Carne con Puree de Papas” - which I would rate about a 6/10. The meat wasn’t as flavorful as i thought i'd be, and the mashed potatoes were pretty plain. Thankfully I had a glass of red wine; I couldn't tell you the name but it was great!

After dinner we went back to our residence and made friends with other people who also live and go to school here. We met some Peruvians, an Ecuadorian, a Costarican, a Chilean, and of course some Argentinians. They were all studying here and had been away from their families for months but were determined to finish school so they could have a career and help their families after. I admired them for being brave and studying in a different country where they don't know anyone. Now being 2 hours from home doesn't seem too bad. This was the end of my first night here, I went to bed feeling excited that I had made new friends and that they welcomed me with open arms.

June 17

This morning we walked to the Subte, which is what they call their metro, and bought and loaded cards so we can be prepared for our first day of school tomorrow. We took the Subte to Las Heras and went to grab lunch at this cute cafe that had dog paintings all over the walls. It kind made me feel like I was in the “Dogs Playing Poker” painting. I got a ham & cheese omelet which was subpar; maybe because I wasn’t very hungry it wasn't that appetizing, but it was just not for me. On the bright side, I ordered orange juice and let me tell you it was BOMB.COM. Honestly, that was probably the best part of my meal.

After lunch, we went back to the residence and proceeded to take a nap. After the nap, my roommate and I went to a restaurant that a friend recommended about fifteen minutes from here and it was called “Chicken Bros”. As my roommate and I were deciding what to order, the guys behind the counter asked us where we were visiting from. Usually, I tell people I'm from right outside of DC just because people know DC. Anyway, turns out that one of the guys was from Woodbridge, which isn’t too far from where I’m from in VA! It was cool to see an American-owned restaurant in a foreign country. Besides the owners being really cool, the food was great and the ambiance of the restaurant was really amazing. The table markers they were handing out were people from american pop culture so it was funny to see that. After this, we went home and went to sleep since tuesday would be our first day in class.

June 18

If you know me at all, you know that I am NOT a morning person. I am THE queen of sleeping in and sleeping for hourssssss. With this being said, waking up at 7am was not the most exciting thing to do. We got up to eat breakfast, and I tried my best to eat something because I knew it was going to be a really long day. For transportation, we use the Subte (their version of the metro) to get to class. It takes us about half an hour to get to school which isn’t too bad; the only thing is that the Subte is really crowded with everyone trying to get to work and school so you kinda have to be aggressive to just push yourself onto the train. We got to Expanish which is where all of our classes are being held. The first two weeks of classes are a crash course of spanish, so they did an oral exam to make sure they were placing us in the right level. Being a native speaker, it wasn't too difficult for me so I was placed in the advanced class. There were only two other kids in my class: an Italian girl and a Swiss guy. I was kind of nervous that our class was so small but throughout the day it felt better because she was able to pay more attention to how we spoke and we were also able to have more in depth conversations about different topics. Today was an exception because we had to take the oral exam but usually class starts at 9:30 and went till 1:30 then we had an hour break then class started again at 2:30 until 4:30. It sounds excruciating, and it is, but the class is fun and time goes by pretty fast. As the class finished, everyone was drained and we all went home on the Subte.

Once we got home, my roommate and I decided we wanted to go find a snack so we walked out of the residence and just started to walk. If you didn't know, street art is a big part of the culture here and is legal, so here in Palermo everywhere you look there is graffiti on the buildings. We started to walk all over the neighborhood and just took pictures and looked at all the beautiful art around us. We ended up walking around for about two hours. Once we got back home we took another nap and then got ready for dinner. We went to this bar in Palermo called “Ragnar” I got myself a burger, and because im legal here i got my first mojito which was really tasty. I really enjoyed the view from the rooftop that they had. Overall it was a really long day but we were finally getting on some kind of schedule. After dinner we went back home and got ready for bed.

June 19

I had a normal school day today but since the women's Argentinian soccer team was playing in the World Cup, we headed over right after class to my teachers favorite bar to watch the game! I later went with Gloria (the italian girl from my class) to eat at a sushi place about a block from our school. I got myself a Mexican Poke bowl which was absolutely delicious. It was my first time eating a poke bowl so i didn't have anything to compare it to. After lunch, we went back to Expanish and waited for everyone to get out of class.

After class we all signed up for a tango class. We waited for our teacher to come and she taught us the basics of Tango; I learned that Tango is not a dance where the point is to move all of your body but it should be a continuous motion (not sure if this makes sense but its not like merengue where your hips, legs, and shoulders move). I think after this class I have more of an appreciation for tango just because I had never really been exposed to it and it didn't look that interesting to me, but dancing it was a whole other thing.

After the tango class we all hopped on the Subte back to the residence. We all took naps (as you can see naps are a crucial part of our routine here lol) and then got ready for dinner. We all decided to go to a bar and to be able to watch the Argentina-Paraguay game. Not sure what bar we went to but it wasn’t too special; I got a quesadilla and some nachos on the side. The most exciting thing about dinner was seeing everyones excitement when argentina scored. The bartender even had a vuvuzela! Since we didn’t have class Thursday, after dinner we walked about two blocks and went into a club. The thing about Argentinian nightlife is that things don’t start poppin till 2am. This is something that we all questioned but it makes sense because they eat dinner at about 10pm. A group of us were just hanging upstairs until about 1:30 and then finally the music started to get really good so we all went downstairs to dance, it was one of the funnest nights so far. We left the club at about 3:30am and got home and all knocked out.

June 20

Waking up at 9:30 after a night out was not ideal, but you do what you gotta do right? Since we didn't have school today our professor from JMU (and our mom for the trip) took us to La Boca which is where the city of Buenos Aires first was established. It’s now very touristy but let me tell you... it is beautiful. All the buildings are so colorful, and craftwork and artwork they sell on the streets were mesmerizing.

We went to the“Museo de Bellas Artes Benito Quinuela Martin,” this museum was in Benito Quinuela Martin house that he lived at the time. The gallery is free to enter and I definitely recommend going if you have time.

The exhibits they had were really interesting my favorite exhibit was the one they had for Roberto Cortes. He is able to depict perfectly what La boca entails and also the struggles and oppression that argentina has faced. The museum also had the rooms made up like how Benito Quinuela Martin had them while he was alive and it was interesting to see how someone lived during the early 20th century. I'm not much of an art person but this entire museum was really interesting, especially to see how different artists show the oppression they have faced as a country.

After the museum, we went to lunch at a restaurant down the street called “La Perla”. I was not the biggest fan of this restaurant just because their service was bad, and the food was mediocre.

We later hopped on a bus back to Plaza de mayo. I'm going to give a little back story for this next part:

During the 1970s, Argentina was facing a “Dirty War” where anyone who was against the government was persecuted. Most of the people speaking out against the government were college students, and because of this students started to disappear all over. Once mothers started to notice that their kids were not the only ones missing they started to organize themselves and want to get answers. This government was obviously very oppressive and because loitering was illegal, mothers would get into groups of two and march in circle in front of La casa rosada (equivalent to our white house) they would wear white scarves on their heads as symbols that these were mothers looking for their missing children. In total over 30,000 students went missing during this dictatorship. There is so much more to this but I personally do not want to write a whole dissertation on how horrible this situation is so here is a link to more information: https://www.history.com/news/mothers-plaza-de-mayo-disappeared-children-dirty-war-argentina

To this day, every thursday, these mothers still march on Plaza de Mayo. We all had the honor of seeing these mothers, family members and activists march in front of la casa rosada. There are now two groups from my understanding one group is still looking for answers for what happened to their children and so this group would walk around La Plaza de Mayo and they would read the names of the disappeared students outloud and after each name the group would yell “Presente” (Present) just to show that their kids will never be forgotten. The other group is now more politically active and strives to make more changes so that this never happens and they walked around the plaza saying different chants. It was remarkable to see that even fifty years later these mothers are still the front of the movement.

After seeing them march, we walked over to a cafe to get some coffee but I personally got a Submarine which is THE best hot chocolate you can drink. It’s basically a bar of chocolate that melts in the boiling milk its delicioso! After we all finished we went back home to the residence, and you guessed it, we took a nap. After our wonderful nap we went to go get dinner at a restaurant around here called “el Galeon”, not my favorite but it was a 6/10, to be fair I only got a salad but the chicken in the salad was a bit questionable. After dinner we went home and got into bed.

June 21

Today was our last day of having class till 4:30; we had two holidays this week since we had to make up for the class time missed. But I am so,so,so happy we do not have to be in class for seven hours anymore. Today in class, I realized that my vocabulary needs to expand more so now i'm glad that we were talking about topics I usually don’t discuss in spanish like the economy and politics. Other than that, class had been fun but I was a little sad today since my friend Gloria was graduating from the program and won't be in class but since shes still gonna be here for another five weeks we plan on hanging out so i'll update you guys when I get to see her again

After class we all went home and then later that night we got ready to go to dinner at a restaurant called “La Robla,” this was a spanish inspired restaurant in Palermo. I shared a Milanesa Clasico with Mashed Potatoes and we also got a side salad. This has been one of my favorite meals so far. The milanesa was to die for and those mashed potatoes really had me begging for more.

After dinner we went to a bar called “Chupitos,” we paid 140 pesos to get in and the entrance fee comes with two shots. I got a shot called “Poseidon,” it had tequila, lime juice and some blue liqour in it but i thought I wasnt going to like it but it was really good. I also took a picture of my friends beer because i mean just look at it...

After the bar we went to a techno club which was really cool to see EDM in a different country. We stayed out till about 5am with everyone and some of the guys from our residencia. After that we all went home and went directly to bed.

P.S.

I know this was a really long post so I may try and keep it to three or four day a post but I just am living in the moment an enjoying life right now so it might be a bit difficult so you all will have to bear with me. Thanks for your support!

Con mucho amor,

T.L.

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dejaaalm · 5 years

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Grandma

The last two weeks has been a blur! I went through a roller-coaster of different and mixed emotions—grief, sadness, sorrow, heartache, relief, joy, comfort, and even confusion. My husband’s maternal grandmother passed away peacefully and unexpectedly on President’s Day—Monday, February 18, 2019. It has been quite the transition for Scott’s family and I think we’re all trying to find our feet and get back to living a “normal” life again.

I can still remember Scott and me getting our kids ready that Monday morning because we were so excited to have the day off and take our kids to the Children’s Museum for a fun family day. Right after my husband buckled Evan and Lily in their car seats, he came inside and said that he was going to call his dad back because he missed his call. I told him okay and finished packing the kids’ snack bag. All of a sudden, just as I put my coat on, my husband opened the door, walked inside, and immediately grabbed me and cried on my shoulders. I asked him what was wrong. Then, I realized Scott said that he missed a call from his dad and that he was going to call him back. I started panicking and saying “No, no! Don’t tell me! No, no, no.” Scott whispered, “Dad texted and said that grandma passed.”

When I was a little girl, I was always so envious of other kids when they talked about how much they loved their grandparents or how much their grandparents loved them. I wondered a lot about what a grandparent’s love was like, and I often wondered what my grandparents were like. I never met any of my grandparents and I longed for one.

My paternal grandfather died when my dad was a young kid and my paternal grandmother remarried and left my dad and uncles behind with the Lee clan due to cultural restrictions. My maternal grandfather died from an illness shortly after my family arrived in the United States and my maternal grandmother was killed by Vietcong soldiers. We have no pictures of them—only vivid memories shared by what my parents can recall about their own parents. Were they loving? Were they funny? Were they good hunters and farmers? How did they meet each other and fall in love?

When I was in high school, one of my teachers asked the students to share a favorite memory of their grandparents. Everyone had a memory to share except me. When it was my turn, I said “I wish I had a memory to share but I never met any of my grandparents.” The teacher and some students were taken aback. “Not even one?” The teacher would ask. I would quietly nod and then we moved onto the next student.

Scott and I started dating in September of 2008. Two months later, he introduced me to his grandma—Grandma Blanche. She was the second person in his family that I met. I was so nervous to meet her. I wondered if I would be accepted or if she would like me because I was a different skin color. Grandma was, well, not what I expected. She was so funny and talkative. We clicked right away and the rest is history.

I have so many memories of her—barbequing in her back yard, raking her leaves, cleaning her basement, grocery shopping with her, Scott and I doing surprise visits, eating chicken chow mein in her dining room, and etc. Speaking of chicken chow mein, it is not a fancy Chinese dish. Most Asian people do not go to a Chinese restaurant to order chicken chow mein because it’s a boring dish. However, after meeting Scott and grandma, eating chicken chow mein grew on me. The only time I ate it was when we visited grandma.

Before Scott and I had kids, we would go over to cook dinner and play board games. Grandma loved watching us play Sequence and Phase 10 and she always cheered for me.

(Playing a fun game with grandma. I can’t remember the name of this game.)

One time at our Anoka home, I decided to invite my in-laws and grandma over for dinner. I cooked my first pot roast in our crockpot and baked my first apple pie. I think I did okay. I didn’t burn anything. Hopefully, they all enjoyed it. I can still remember sitting next to her and she said “This is delicious.”

Grandma and I had a lot of fun conversations about love, relationships, God, and even random stuff like trying to keep up with the Kardashians. There were nights where we just sat in her living room and talked for hours and laughed our butts off. We definitely shared a lot of funny moments. I loved hearing the stories about her and her husband and their quarrels of the past. Grandma loved learning about the Hmong culture. One time, PBS played a special documentary about the Hmong people and grandma was so excited to tell me all about it. She reminded me of a little child who drew a picture and couldn’t wait to show an adult what they drew. I could never forget how excited she was.

Grandma once told me that she knew Scott and I were meant to be together because she can see the twinkles in our eyes when we looked at each other.

When I was pregnant with Evan and Lily, grandma would always say “You are glowing” even when I didn’t feel that great about my physical appearance. I can still remember dropping off the kids for grandma to watch and picking them up after work. After work, I would stay around for a little bit to chat and hear her tell me about the day. One time, I dropped off the kids and grandma gave me a brown paper bag and said “Here’s your lunch. Take it and enjoy it.” She packed me a ham sandwich, apple, and some slices of cheese. Lol. Slices of cheese? That was random but my heart was so full that day.

(This was the brown lunch bag she packed for me. I posted this photo on my Facebook on 9/22/2014.)

Sometimes, after Sunday church service, my kids would beg to go see Grandma Blanche. As soon as we got there, Lily would quickly take off her shoes and socks and start digging in the fridge and Evan would quickly chat away with her about all the new things he’s learned. They loved visiting her.

After every encounter, grandma would hug me and kiss me on the cheek before leaving. Little did I know that this Valentine’s Day would be the last time I get a hug and kiss on the cheek from her.

On Valentine’s Day, we ordered two bouquet of flowers—one for my mother-in-law and one for grandma. Evan gave the first bouquet to my mother-in-law and then he quickly picked up the second bouquet and ran to the kitchen to give it to grandma. Scott decided to record this very moment too. We captured Evan handing grandma the bouquet of red carnations and Evan said “This is for you. It has a heart on there.” Grandma was ecstatic. We stayed for a little bit to hang out. Grandma baked some cupcakes and said that they were for Scott’s belated birthday. I was pretty hungry so I ate 3. The last conversation I had with Grandma that night was about the eye gel pads that I got her for Christmas. She wanted to know how to use them. I told her that all she needed to do was open the packaging and placed the pads under the eye and leave it there for 15-30 minutes and then discard it. The serum in the eye pads will make the appearance of the under eye look less dull. She was so excited and told me that she couldn’t wait to try them out. Before we left, we did our usual thing of hugging each other. I hugged grandma and she kissed my right cheek and said “I love you” and I replied “Love you too.”

My kids slept over on Valentine’s Day and spent the next day with my in-laws and grandma while Scott and I went to work. In case you didn’t know, Grandma moved in to live with my in-laws near the end of December last year, and then she sold her house the first week of January. Anyway, I was supposed to go have happy hour with my co-workers after work but I decided to stay home and bake an apple pie. Scott came home and wanted to go pick up the kids. I told him to wait for me because I wanted to share the apple pie with my in-laws and grandma too. Scott said that 50 minutes is a long time to wait for a pie so he left without me. I would have gotten to see grandma one more time and she would have gotten to eat my apple pie too.

Grandma Blanche was a blessing to me. God blessed me with a grandma for 10 years. I was showered with love—the kind I always yearned for from a grandparent.

I know that no one can escape death; it’s just part of the design God created. I’ll admit I am a bit greedy and I didn’t want grandma to go yet…or ever! Grandma only got to see our new house once. I told Scott that I regretted not being more aggressive about hosting Thanksgiving at our house last November. Grandma made a comment to us last summer that she didn’t want to host Thanksgiving anymore. She said “Let’s do it at your house. You guys have such a beautiful house.” The weeks prior to Thanksgiving, I urged Scott to invite everyone over and we can host Thanksgiving but he said that it wasn’t his decision to make so we let it go. Darn it!

I miss grandma. Even as I’m writing this, I miss her. I miss her big bright smile. I miss hearing her comforting voice. She was a giver, a supporter, and a comforter. Whenever I felt like I needed a boost of confidence, grandma was there to give that to me.

One of my favorite memories of grandma was after I gave birth to my daughter. We brought Lily over to grandma’s house so that she could see her. We told grandma that Lily’s middle name is Jane which is her middle name. The look on grandma’s face was priceless. I could tell that she was delighted and honored to hear that we named our little girl after her. I’m so glad that Scott and I decided to include that at the last minute because Rose was going to be Lily’s middle name. Our little Lily Rose Jane.

I’m sad that grandma isn’t here to be with us anymore. I’m sad that I won’t get to see her smile, hear her talk, or play games with her.

I’m happy that grandma lived a good life and was surrounded by people who loved and cared about her. I’m happy that she doesn’t have to worry about this crazy world anymore and can dance with the angels. I’m happy that she can be with her parents and husband again.

Thank you for all the love you’ve shown me and for being my grandma too.

I love you grandma and I hope you know that.

(Grandma ringing the bell at our wedding and pointing at us to kiss. Good times!)

#grandma #life #love

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floofsta-x · 7 years

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(the first set of original questions I’ve answered in forever tbh)

I was tagged by @ameehhhhh, yas it’s good to have you back :). Your tags are always great ahh <333

Rules: Complete the survey and say who tagged you in the beginning. When you are finished tag 5 people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!!!

1: Are you named after someone? No, my parents found Bryony in a baby name book. It’s in the dictionary, too, it’s a flowering vine.

2: When is the last time you cried? Yesterday. I was in a mental crisis but my choir teacher helped me through, I appreciate him so much c’:

3: Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes, depends on how careful I’m being, how stable my mental state is, and what kind of writing I’m using. (I have several different variants, on numbers and letters (especially e) lmao.)

4: What is your favorite lunch meat? Honey Ham, mmm

5: Do you have kids? No, I want them someday but not now (o/////o)

6: If you were another person, would you be friends with you? (I think I’ve seen this q in an ask game or something lmao) Yes I would! Though I’m reclusive, I’m pretty friendly and kind :)

7: Do you use sarcasm? sometimes, more frequently for sure since I started college haha

8: Do you still have your tonsils? Yep, never a reason to take them out.

9: Would you bungee jump? Uhhhh I don’t really know.... I don’t think so butttt

10: What is your favorite kind of cereal? Honey Bunches of Oats, Blueberry Muffin Tops, or Cocoa Pebbles

11: Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Nope, I don’t. I tend to slide them on and off.

12: Do you think you’re a strong person? What do you mean by strong? Physically, kind of; mentally, no, and emotionally, certainly not!

13: What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Mint chocolate chip~ or pumpkin pie x chocolate oh God

14: What is the first thing you notice about people? I really don’t know... their voice I guess

15: Red or pink? Red. No fancy reason.

16: What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? the fact that my tummy sticks out beyond my boobs. It would be ok if I was fat and had bigger boobs but nooo

17: What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Pastel print (owl print) pajama pants and no shoes but white socks

18: What was the last thing you ate? A piece of ice, I know it’s bad for my teeth but I’ve always munched ice

19: What are you listening to right now? I had this weird urge to listen to my Spotify EDM playlist tonight so

What You’re Waiting For: Tiësto & Ummet Ozcan

Don’t Run From My Love: 1WayTKT, Cossy & Mark Borino (great and underrated track pls stan)

Ping Pong - Gary Caos Remix: Ryan Riback, Lowkiss, MC Flipside, feat. Stef Cima

Superwave: Ummet Ozcan (Ummet Ozcan is the best ok just go listen to Spacecats pls)

Fade Away: Reez, Mandy Jiroux (another great underrated Armada release)

Split (Only U): Tiësto & The Chainsmokers

Badgal: Rob & Jack, Sanjin (SANJIN IS THE BEST OK I JUST LOVE EVERYTHING HE FEATURES IN)

Big Bird: Blasterjaxx (love love love love love Blasterjaxx)

On the Floor Like: Bassjackers, Joe Ghost, MOTi

Strong: R3HAB, KSHMR (these two together are amazing :oooo)

20: If you were a crayon, what color would you be? I don’t know... I’ve always been curious as to what my aura is though, I think I’d be that color.

21: Favorite smell? Saxophone. Yes saxophones have a smell and it is glorious.

22: Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? I kind of spoke over speaker phone to a representative from the education office the other day, my teacher was asking her a couple of questions and I clarified what he was asking her.

23: Favorite sport to watch? ooh.... probably either baseball or Formula One

24: Hair color? Honey Brown

25: Eye color? Dark Brown

26: Do you wear contacts? No, I can’t stand the thought and never have been able to; I wear glasses constantly instead.

27: Favorite food to eat? Lasagna is my favorite food, but I love eating shrimp (even the tails yum) and Kalamari too.

28: Scary movies or comedy? Don’t have much experience with both tbh so either is fine. I don’t care whether I laugh or cling to my roommate for dear life

29: Last movie you watched? Um probably The Island with my dad, we had a movie night right before I went back to school and watched Demolition Man too

30: What color of shirt are you wearing? Orange with the Samaritan’s Purse (charity and aid organization) logo

31: Summer or winter? I’d much rather be cold than hot so winter.

32: Hugs or kisses? Both are fine, but kisses tbh~ I miss kisses so much still and it’s been like 3 years since I had a boyfriend ugh

33: What book are you currently reading? None, I haven’t read a book in a while tbh. I don’t have time

34: Who do you miss right now? My dad. Since I got thinking about our movie night /sigh. Also my friend Curtis who is student teaching this semester.

35: What is on your mouse pad? I’m on a laptop so I’m using a track pad hahah. But down in the room where I work I have a manila envelope as my mouse pad and I think it’s got the name of a piece on it, ‘Suzanni’ I think?

36: What is the last TV program you watched? Probably the Flash, with my family before I left for college. This does not include listening to my roommate watch Riverdale and Veronica Mars

37: What is the best sound? Any Monsta X track tbh Stan Getz and his tenor saxophone

38: Rolling Stones or The Beatles? More of a Beatles fan tbh--Don’t Let Me Down is a good song.

39: What is the furthest you have ever traveled? to Florida, I was really little though. I’m from Colorado/Nebraska so lol

40: Do you have a special talent? Stanning all these groups at once Not really, I mean I play clarinet and saxophone but that’s pretty common huh? Umm, I draw cute things well??

41: Where were you born? Small Town in Northeastern Colorado

These were pretty good, umm I might have done them on facebook before or something? Some seem familiar.... I tag @fyhjjxxn, @i-u-shi, @missmugiwara, @sugasboyfriend, and @kirspel. lol tagging five people was stressful lolol. If you don’t have to or have already done it, you don’t have to obvs, as always.

#tagged #ameehhhhh #original questions for once wowow #lots of them though lol #also I just went through my followers list and holy heck there were some I didn't see that I had gained!#I always go back through and look at who's followed me recently... and follow back as I see the notifications.#anyways #ok I'm going to bed #nighty <333

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wishingfornever · 6 years

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10/13/2017 – No Contact: Everyone is a Little Racist

Current time. 11:50. I just woke up from a series of naps. Two, so I guess that’s a series. But let me tell you about the dream I had.

I was living in this weird apartment complex. It began with me walking around and visiting with neighbors and these two Chinese ladies. One was older and one was a bit younger (a daughter). They made it clear that they were into some shady shit. They asked if they could use my car for this shady shit and I tell them no. After that, I went along and eventually came back to find an older version of an old roommate’s youngest son (long story there) laying on a bed inside the apartment. It’s important to note it was Halloween and he was upset about something. I offered the support as best I could but eventually left. I was very social and there was this cute girl I was hitting on.

The conversation with said cute girl ended in me remembering, I forgot something in my car. I go to it and it’s not my silver Dodge but an old, blue station wagon. Kind of a short one if compared to other station wagons. Hard to explain. Anyways, I discover the two Chinese ladies STEALING my car. And I say, “...um… can I help you?” They said yes and heavily implied that if I didn’t let them something bad would happen. I was like, “Okay, I guess I’ll call the police when you’re done...”

Except I couldn’t. They forced me into the station wagon and I sat in the back seat as they loaded stuff into the very back. I tried not to look directly at it but it looked like drugs disguised as Chinese food. I was hoping they’d drive by my apartment and the girl I was talking to would see I was being taken hostage, but no. They made their way out of there almost immediately.

Anyways, the older one drove and she spoke like Maria. Broken, barely spoken English. The younger spoke a bit more but was still really bad. We went through the mountains, where there was a lot of snow. The older one became nervous like she’s never driven in the snow before. Upon coming down from a summit, she parked on the side of a road in a TURNING lane and ran across to the other side for something. As she did, a truck lost control and almost hit her.

I don’t know what she did but when she came back I offered them both to drive for them. Because GEEZUZ!!! The dude who was in the truck came up wanting to trade information. The car wasn’t touched so I told him, “Listen, not my problem. Try to get information from her, the person you almost hit.” He complained because we parked in the parking lane but eventually started speaking to the older lady about it. They sorted everything out and we started driving again.

That’s all I remember. Wasn’t that dramatic of a dream, but I think it’d be an effective comedy. KIND OF RACIST, I know. Especially since I’ve been talking about Asians a lot lately. Normally, I don’t include race in my stories. For example, my old roommate’s youngest son? He’s half black, half Mexican. I didn’t include that at all. Most of my stories with blacks don’t mention their color. One of the girls I was hitting on a while back over Facebook? She was black. Why do I mention Asians when their race doesn’t matter?

I guess Asians sort of get overlooked. Don’t get me wrong, they are still targets for racism because EVERYONE is a little racist (myself included). However, they weren’t really targeted by All Lives Matters and people like that. Why would they be? The Asians I know tend to be on top of things. And they’re RIDICULOUSLY talented. Like… fucking hell, that’s their racism trait. Being good at most everything they do. Except driving, apparently.

I’m not sure that’s true, either. Unless they drive a Chevy. Now that I think about it, blacks and whites were the ones involved in all the car accidents I’ve seen in person. One case, I saw one get rear ended by this stoner dude. The stoner was white and they were a black couple. With the exception of that one waiter we had, I don’t really know too many Asians who have actually been in car accidents.

Doesn’t mean you’re a safe driver if you’ve never been in an accident, of course. Still, just something I’ve noticed. I think Mexicans are bad drivers. I look at ALL my cousins as references. Some of them have been in car accidents, too! Thing is, they were in car accidents in… Mexico. So, both sides were Mexican. Drivers in Mexico are just… crazy.

Whatever. Now, what am I going to do. Currently 12:15. I wanted to do something before the naps but I fell asleep watching Game Grumps. Probably food. I grabbed a dragon fruit for Adela to try but she doesn’t want to try it. She has to open up sometime. >:C

I didn’t do my sets yesterday or the day before. I’ll do it today, though. I MIGHT cook myself some eggs. Or I might make a sandwich… an egg sandwich? I don’t know. I’m hungry. I want food. But what food? I don’t want sweet, food. I have enough fruit for it, to be sure. I guess I’ll make myself something with peas, actually. That’s not a bad idea. Then I’ll finish watching the video I fell asleep on from about where I fell asleep. And I’ll have a fruit. Which fruit? ANY FRUIT!!!

Anyways, I’ll be on later. Maybe. I have an update unfortunately. I hate updates… Bah, it’ll be fine. Later.

I don’t think I’m going to be a vegetarian much longer. I’d. Fucking. MURDER. For a god damn burger right now. x.x Like… I think sometime next year I’ll get a burger from Whataburger. Only in a few months. I’ll try to hold out as long as possible… but no promises. Might do what you do. Claim to be vegetarian but still eat meat. ;)

Kidding. Sort of. I MIGHT start eating fish. Then turkey. And eventually work my way back into beef and ham. I just ate. Had a peach and, as opposed to everything in the god damn HEB, it wasn’t on the verge of rotting. Seriously, they need to work on their god damn stocking. Like, only one avocado was edible last time I was there. Disgusting.

Whatever. If you want them to be stocked, go early. I’m going to have the other peach soon. I feel SO hungry. x.x

Eh… The food I got was kind of subpar. I have no onions, tomatoes, or honey mustard. Didn’t feel like cooking some eggs so I basically made a cheese sandwich with spinach. Unfortunately, that proved to be not as good as it sounds. The swiss cheese melted over the spinach and it SEEMED like it’d taste good. So good. The best even. Thing is, the spinach sort of canceled out the savory swiss. It felt… empty. And I grabbed a peach too. That peach was ripe, but it was… eh. Not as good as the other. Just disappointing. Filling? Not really. I have some spinach left but I’m saving that for an egg sandwich tomorrow. I have ketchup and my three spices. Seasoned salt, black pepper, and garlic powder. Put that shit in anything you cook and it’ll be grand. Remember the mashed potatoes? I sometimes put onions in it but you LOVED it. We should have mashed potatoes if you come out.

Ah, I just remembered. It’s not seasoned salt I have but that pink Himalayan salt. It’s… alright, but I have to twist the thing and that makes it harder to guesstimate the amount. Oh, guesstimate is a word apparently. More proof that English is fucking dumb.

Anyways, put that in the eggs, add ketchup, and I’ll have a GREAT breakfast.

You know, I got the eggs for three reasons. Firstly, it’s not meat. Second, I saw a picture where you cooked me breakfast. I posted it on Facebook and titled it the perfect breakfast. It was eggs and pop tarts. People gave me crap because it’s so simple and I said it wasn’t the food but the who. You made that breakfast perfect. Finally, I want to try some of those egg rituals my witch friend suggested. Turns out, the chants DON’T have to be religious to work. So I could say, “No Pasaran” or even “I have nothing to lose but my chains” or whatever and it’d still work. That’s some good news.

As for disposing, if it’s a protection spell, we bury it. If it’s detecting negative energy, we pour it in a river and be on our way. I THINK Adela has a septic tank. I’m not sure about the sewers in Houston. So, we COULD flush it but until we know for sure, I’m not doing that with the eggs.

Apparently, you can also use potatoes for spells. Magic is weird. If this had happened a few months ago, then I would have been like, “Lol, magic is dumb and you’re dumb.” However, I feel there is more to it than that now. I’ve learned a lot from her. Been taking notes. I might use it for writing. I probably won’t, unfortunately. I have so much planned but so little time. :c

Eh… I want a burger. So badly. I want to make an egg sandwich but… I won’t. Ah, well. Current supply in the fridge and pantry for ME to eat (Adela’s food is off limits) consists of the dragon fruit, three apples, a bottle of ketchup, almond milk, a single and final serving of spinach, half a loaf of bread, a can of peas and carrots, a can of corn, various cheeses, and 16 eggs. We’ll go shopping sometime on the weekend. I’ll be fine.

The rough estimate for my food is 60-80 dollars. Per week, that would be 240-320 dollars a month. Not including rent, I estimate my cost of living is about 800 dollars per month. That means if I got a part time job at Starbucks, I should be fine. Might be saving. After this next week, I’ll apply for other jobs. However, I’ll actually go in when Adela takes Max to the groomers. I won’t have to try to get him in a cage or anything. Today, I’ll call. Hopefully at about 11 and let them know what’s up. I’ll talk to the manager and introduce myself. Let them know that I’m interested in a job there.

I’ll get a job. Then I’ll brag about it. It’ll be great. Oh, and I could perhaps save money because I won’t have to eat here. Probably won’t eat out that much. I don’t know. If it’s like Dunkin, I’ll be fine unless they make me work mornings. I SUCK at mornings.

When I worked nights at Dunkin (better than mornings) I usually slept when I got back. Mornings? I had to wake up immediately. I had the sunrise to wake me up. Problem is, I worked BEFORE sunrise and my alarm was unreliable.

Honestly… I loved working at Dunkin. It had it’s moments where it sucked, but it was pretty fun. They gave me free coffee and tea. I hope they do that at Starbucks too. Maybe discounted food. Burgers. Drool

I mean… whatever.

I just realized that the money you’re using to buy pot? You got that from selling your super prized computer. Oof. You sold everything for all of this. In the end? At least you’re a little high.

Sarcasm. I’m suddenly more concerned. Please tell me you’ll stop spending on such trivial bullshit. Fucking pot is not worth the money. :/ Whatever. You won’t tell me that, even if you were talking to me. You’re stubborn. You get told to do one thing and you’ll do the opposite. Human nature… don’t know why. My dad used to have this small outhouse thing that was assembled by all these parts and had a mouse trap in it. The mouse trap connected to the door. When you opened th door to this little outhouse, it’d explode. He LOVED it. He put a little sign on front that said, “Don’t Open” because he understood people don’t listen to signs. He got so many people with that fucking door. I want one. I think I can find one on the internet.

I’ll call my dad tomorrow too, maybe. I really should. Anyways, I’m going to bed. Talk to you when I wake up. Alarm set for 10am. Going to call Starbucks at 11. ;)

Before I go! I asked my witch friend what the deal with brooms are. Apparently, they can clean up negative energy! And brooms you make yourself has a connection and cleans energy better or something. And it can determine people visiting and you put it upside down, it’ll prevent people from coming and if they do come then they’ll leave sooner. And you can bless your vacuum to clean up negative energies. Just gotta empty it and take out the garbage IMMEDIATELY. And apparently you can bless ROOMBA!!! ROOMBA CAN COLLECT NEGATIVE ENERGY!!! OMFG ROOMBA, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD!!! SAVE THIS HOUSE OF OURS!!!

Sorry. Sleeping now. Later.

Current time is seven in the morning… I’m so restless. I hate it. I think any optimism and positivity is fading. I might return to my grumpy annoyed self, which is a shame. Computer is mandatory restarting today. I FUCKING hate that. I have to save EVERYTHING. For what? What update could I possibly need?

My dream was nice last night. Very… arousing. You were in it of course. It ended with us skinny dipping. In my dreams, you’re always so affectionate. I miss that. :/

Anyways… I realized that you blocking me wasn’t to start any drama. You probably felt I was trying to show you how good everything was here. Try and convince you somehow. I was posting a lot of pictures of Max. Still do, mind you, but you don’t need that reminder. You felt that I was trying to communicate with you through Facebook. Not my intention. Otherwise, I’d have to go back and change no contact days to limited contact.

Surprised you noticed. Alternatively, you could have just turned off my posts so you didn’t have to see them. Idea probably didn’t occur to you. Or maybe you wanted to send a message. Unfortunately, that message would be open to interpretation. If you read this, you’ll see I didn’t get the memo. At least, probably not the one you mentioned.

I didn’t call Starbucks today. Woke up too late. I’ll stay up as long as possible and go to bed early. Try and reset my schedule as best as possible. I need to do this before Max is taken to the groomers. I’ll get it figured out. So tired though.

I need to message Shane. See if he’s alright. Might be the food he’s been eating. :/

He’s okay. Whatever he had passed. I’m glad to hear. Could have been something far worse. However, I still believe he should go to the doctor’s but I won’t push it. If I were inflicted with something similar and it went away, I wouldn’t want to go to the doctor’s either. Literally, fuck American healthcare. Nothing but bad times. -,-

So… It’s currently 6:20. I bought a girl some food. She’s the sort who normally says no. I expected her to say no. She said yes. So, I ordered her a pizza. She is one of the girls I’ve been flirting with.

The thought crossed my head that “What if she’s using me?” but then I came to the conclusion that, again, she’ not the type who’d say yes normally. She’s pretty introverted. Spends most her days working and going to class. If I go back to visit, I’ll have to stop by and say hi to her in person. There are some stories with her. I’ll have to share them sometime with you.

#breakup #slice of l #frustration #depression #getting over it #moving on #journal #a year ago today

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