#I will do the others and call this serie be not afraid lmao

[wandasfifthwife]

(2) the curse of living in a small town | I got a bad idea series

—> masterlist

southern!wandanat x fem!city-girl reader

tw: allusions to sex (didn’t happen, r just misunderstands), discussion of w&n undressing r while she was drunk bc r threw up on them, slight angst, two separate minor injuries (r), blood mention, mentions to past drunkenness (r), incorrect scared horse description?

a/n: in true me fashion this is published without being proofread. so excuse my choppy ass writing lmao

The sheets wrapped around you were too warm, and it often pulled you back to sleep. Any time you begin to stir, all you had to do was twist your body and you were falling asleep again. The sun was high in the sky by the time you actually opened your eyes.

The curtains were closed, but the air conditioning would push the corners so they’d flip up and let the light in. It didn’t take long to recognize that the room you were in was not a room you recognized.

You froze, dread piling within you as you took in each individual difference between the room you were in versus the one back at your grandparents. The coats hung behind the door, pictures laid on the vanity in front of you, a hand-made blanket thrown across the edge of the bed frame. Not to mention the smell—though pleasant—it was unrecognizable.

It took looking down at your current sleep wear to make you freak out. It wasn’t yours.

Everything on top and underneath wasn’t yours. Your heart rate seems faster than normal when you crack the door open. It’s quiet, and a sign for you to run out the door.

Your feet are bare, so the sound of the bottom of your foot sticking when it picks off the floor is embarrassingly loud. You’ve almost reached the first floor, feet about to meet the halfway mark on the stairs when you hear a voice beside you.

No rational thought came to mind as you rush down the stairs. Your left foot slips and you miscalculate the distance between the last step and the bench sitting across from you. It collided into the bench’s leg with a solid thud.

The wind gets knocked out of you, forcing you to hunch over and wait for the sting to leave. You don’t want to see who’s greeted you, ignoring it even as you miserably make it to the front door.

Across from you in the middle of their yard is Natasha. Though with how fuzzy last night was, she’s become a stranger to you. You turn to the left and book it towards the one thing you recognize at the moment, your grandparents home. You hear her call out to you, but you don’t waste any time running through the warm grass. All emotions related to embarrassment, regret, and shame fill you and force your adrenaline to kick it into overdrive.

Your grandma’s having a field day, laughing as she sees you through the kitchen window. She calls her husband over, the sight of you in almost nothing cracking him up hit he attempts to save your dignity.

He opens the door for you, not saying anything because he knew you’d rush past him and shut yourself in a room. Which is exactly what you did.

“That’s pretty early for a night owl like her,” your grandma laughs, looking to your grandpa. He has a sympathetic look on his face, still looking off where you ran up the stairs.

“I feel bad, honey.“

“It’s not that I don’t feel bad, I just think she’s a grown adult. She choose to get drunk, I’m sure she’s just embarrassed to find out she drunkenly cried over someone congratulating her for graduating college.”

That’s not the reason why you felt embarrassed. You had zero chance of knowing what happened last night until you talked to one of them. Confrontation wasn’t your strength, avoidance was. That’s why you’re caught up in this mess with your boss at work, you can’t tell him to give you a raise because you’re afraid of getting fired.

That’s how you feel now. You’re afraid of asking what happened last night because you’re scared of the possible situation. There’s no obvious physical signs of anything happening other than your clothes being changed. That being said, you still left your clothes over there. At this point, they can keep them.

The picture frames that covered the walls were photos from their marriage. Them smiling, a few of them kissing. It was beautiful and you were terrified you were to ruin it, what they have, after last night. Your home was even quieter than theirs, that was until your mother had begun to bang against your door.

“Get dressed, you’re coming with me into town.”

You realize then that all of your sudden movement from earlier catches up to you. Your mother realizes it too and thankfully allows you to sleep in more. After a few home remedies you’re feeling better, but not fully healed. When she finds you in bed at 3PM, she’s hurrying into your bedroom and pushing you to get out

“Tomorrow?”

“No,” she pulls the sheets off the bed, “fall for stupid tricks get stupid consequences, come on.“

You shy away from the laughs coming from your brother and grandparents when you make it downstairs. There was a small tray in the kitchen with a varying fruits. A small sticky note beside it with a personalized message towards you, telling you to take whatever’s left.

“Want to visit the diner in town? I’d like to visit my friend for a minute, you can get lunch?”

Your mom navigates the plans, pushing beside you. You make a small plate and grab more meds from the pharmacy tray in the furthest cabinet to the left.

“I don’t care, mom.”

She grabs the keys off a small hook and wonders off outside. Her actions telling you get yourself in the car within the next few minutes. You bother finds himself stumbling into the kitchen, “to set the record straight, I won.”

“Fuck off,” you mumble, grabbing your phone and tumbling out the door. Your mom pulled the car out front with the window’s down.

“Buckle your seatbelt.”

“We’re going down St Peters?”

“You’re still sobering. I’m scared you’ll pull the door open and fly out.”

“Mom,” you point towards where the city is, “the streets are 25, it’s slow. Just go.”

She still replayed her comeback to you, going on about how over drinking is terrible for you. Meanwhile her yapping was making everything hurt worse. You rest your head against the window as best as you can, trying to be mindful of the constant bumps due to the rock road.

“—you had cried like a baby.”

“I did what?”

“Cried last night.”

You groan, “I can’t believe I did that.”

“You did a lot of things,” she says eventually once you’ve gotten onto the road. Her sentence doesn’t help the downfall of emotions you’ve been experiencing since this morning.

“Have anybody in your sights lately?”

“Nope, still single.”

She prods further, asking, “are you going to get married? I don’t care how or when, just sometime before I die so I can have grandchildren.”

“I understand. You’ll be the first to know if I find someone.”

She turns down the street, onto where the most amount of buildings lie unless you want to drive for hours. It’s a thirty minute drive, decent enough to get what you’re needing. Food, supplies, send mail, or to set up market. There was a spot in front of the town’s diner, the one your mom chose and the one right by where a certain someone’s car was parked as well.

You climb out of the car, unsuspecting and following your mom into the diner. She pulls away from you almost immediately to talk to her friend who’s sat at a booth towards the back. You thought to introduce yourself, include yourself in the conversation between an old acquaintance. The both just behind her was where Natasha was, your eyes finding hers. You grew defensive, turning on your heel to sit at the bar instead.

The lady behind the counter takes your brisk order. The look on her face is also wondering why you’re this bothered by her presence. If it were a one night stand, it’s fine, they happen. Usually they don’t and with one running out into the field barefoot though.

She hands you the tea you ordered. You’re sure your expression is still tense judging by the fact her eyes never leave you until she’s rounded the corner. Whether she’s concerned, or noisy, it doesn’t matter. If she could tell you’re tense, you’re sure Natasha can tell if she so much looks your way.

You’re unsure about why, but you look over your shoulder. It was with a purpose to look at your mother, but you glued onto her again and freaked when you saw her get closer. Hands growing sweaty around the cold drink in your hands when she sits beside you. She wastes no time getting straight to the point, narrowing you with a stare.

“Why’d you run off this morning?”

The conversation you’ve been dreading was unraveling. You keep your eyes on the old tv, not sparing her a glance. She doesn’t budge. You finally turn towards her, meeting her stare, “do I know you?”

It was a complete lie that she seemed to beleive for a split second. She backed up, giving you enough space and time for your mother to come back. You were gone by the time she put the pieces together. The way you looked back at her, nervously swallowed when she got close, and sat still when she spoke to you. You definitely recognized her.

You ran into them again at the market a day later. Whoever they went, you copied, hiding behind anything you could to avoid being seen.

You ran into them again when Natasha was getting gas at the station you liked off Westview. You went above and beyond to push your seat back, putting yourself out of the span of her line of sight.

You ran into them everywhere. The only place they had yet to wonder into was your grandparents land. It felt like your safe zone, the area where they couldn’t roam.

That proved to be wrong when you crept into the stable at sundown, visiting the newer addition to the stable. You met him a day ago when your grandfather took you out to see him for the first time.

You sat in the corner of his pen on a stool, watching as he ate the feed you poured into his food mound into. Your grandfather mentioned needing him to get used to new people as they wanted to train and sell him eventually to a rider.

“Why’re you up so late?” wanda had asked almost as if she came out of nowhere. It startled you and the sound your hand made when it hit his feeder had him freaking out as well. Wanda’s quick to unlatch the door, pulling you into her. The wooden edge caught onto your skin, dragging and pulling it until it bled.

“Thank yo—“

“No need, my apologies for scaring you,” she looks towards the terrified horse, “and him”

“Ah no worries, he gets scared often,” you brush the hay off of your jeans, “why’re you in here?”

“We bought half the stable two years ago.”

Of course they did.

“Oh.”

“Guessing your ma didn’t tell you?”

You shook your head, reaching an arm out to slide it down the side of his snout, bringing him to eventually stand still. She waits patiently beside you, looking between you and the horse.

“Got yourself cut there?”

“I did?“

Her fingers weave under your arm, pulling it up and showing you the slice your arm took a minute ago. She looks saddened, “I’m sorry, angel, I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”

“It’s just a small cut. I barely even knew it was there I’m so immune to them.”

She doesn’t look pleased. She invites you to her house, and you want her to leave. It’s not her, it’s you. You can still feel your nerves spike after all these days when you see them time after time again. Going back to their house would mean you’d have to see how the two of them are doing, and lately, they haven’t been in the same room.

If there’s one thing you remember from last night, was that they came together and were almost wrapped in each other’s arms.

“At least let me cleanse it before anything tries to infect it.”

You agree and she sits you down on the chair in the tack room, coming back a second later with a small bag. The cut did not draw any attention to you when it happened, but you’re thankful she noticed or else the blood could’ve spread onto your clothes or anything else you touched.

Neither one says anything while she rubs disinfectant on the gash. The horses in their stalls were making much more noise in how they huff and walk around. Being cooped up in a little cell would drive you crazy. Like being cooped up in this room with Wanda was suffocating.

“Have you had any meds since last night?”

“Yes,” you rush to look away when she glances at you, “ma has a supply in her cabinets.”

“Good.”

Oh my gosh you want to run back into the house and stay in there until you fly back to New York. She’s entirely calm and her fingers are steady, something you’re trying to copy.

“If you need anything, come visit.”

It was the undertone of her statement that confused you. It was inviting. She put the cotton pad into the trash, coming back to sit beside you. Her fingers were so gentle, hovering over your skin and unintentionally giving you chills.

“Thank you.”

Her smile so soft. She finishes putting the small bandage over your arm and walks back out to put it away. You don’t want to run now, partially because you’re with the one who’ll lay the truth down in a kinder way.

“What happened last night.”

You know she heard you when she laughs out loud, the sound light and airy. It confused you, bringing you to ask more questions. She motions for you to leave the room, the key going into the lock after.

“You got drunk and cried if Natasha or I tried to leave. We all decided it would be best if we just brought you to our house for the night. You fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow. Natasha heard you being sick late into the night, I believe it was 3AM? She left to help you—“

“That’s a wonderful story,” you cut her off in hopes to not hear the rest, but you’re incredibly relieved to find you hadn’t slept with them that night, “I am so terribly sorry you had to deal with that.”

“If you’d like your clothes from last night back they’re folded in our laundry room.”

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“We wanted to.”

You walk past the first few stables to grab your phone off the table you had set it on when you walked in. You flit it into your back pocket, “would you be alright if I stopped by to grab my clothes tonight?”

“Not at all.”

The front gate to the stable shuts. Wanda pulls a small flashlight, shining the light to help you both walk back towards their house. Her eyes were focused ahead, shorter hair covering half of her side profile.

“When I first met you, how long had you been married?”

“About three years,” she explains, “we got married in the summer.”

“The pictures in your home are beautiful.”

She thanks you, walking ahead to open the door to her estate for the both of you. The moon’s full, providing enough light that almost puts the flashlight to shame. It shows the shorter path ahead of you, marked by dried dirt and stones.

The door to their home opens and Natasha walks to stand in the doorway. The two greet each other with a kiss, whispering small pleasantries. It’s only for a second, but it singles you out and makes you feel you’re imposing. Natasha holds the door for you to enter, letting the screen door swing shut once you’ve all entered.

Wanda walks you through their house towards the laundry room, indirectly giving you a tour of everything you ran past in a blur that morning. The emerald green backsplash in their kitchen and wooden cabinets. Little miscellaneous items thrown about like a stack of papers and a random hair clip.

“Here,” she peeks into the laundry room, setting the clothes onto your open arms, “sorry they’re all cold, I promise they were warm this morning.”

You laugh awkwardly, the shy sound getting cut off from Natasha calling for Wanda from another room. You two found Natasha standing in the living room, holding an opened envelope. Shreds of paper were on the floor, results of her careless attempts of opening the letter.

“Why are we still getting mail from the Parsons? We finished their payment last week.”

Wanda takes it from her hands, scanning over the letter for only a second, “it’s possible they’ve forgotten, they’re entirely too old.”

Natasha mumbles under her breath and goes to place it with the other thrown about papers on their dining room table.

“I’m probably going to head out now,” you look behind yourself, ensuring that you’re actually walking backwards towards the door, “thank you for everything.”

“Course, angel. Have a good night.”

You smile, feeling like you’re being drowned underwater as you step down the porch. Their conversation can be heard even as you’re halfway down their driveway, the screen door doing nothing to separate building from the rest of the world.

You grow cold as you walk back home, the light and warmth their home brought escaping you with each step you took walking away from them. It’s loud back at your grandparent’s home, most everyone is situated in the backyard, but a few remain in the living room.

Your aunt greets you first, asking where you were before asking if you could help your brother with the dessert since apparently he’s “still recovering from last night.” You doubt that but you’re in no mood to fight.

Your grandparents are sitting on a one person couch. Legs are intertwined and hands held and it brings back a memory from last night in their home when you were laid over Natasha’s waist in a similar position. You leave the room with an aching feeling in your chest.

There’s times when you were unsure of how you were feeling. The reason why you felt off sometimes never making itself known. You were home with family, a plate with crumbs laid on the table between you all. It was fine, you were safe and in a warm building with food and water and everything necessary.

When the lights turned off in the house and everyone had gone to bed, you still felt a tight squeeze in your chest. You labeled it as a combination of so much happening the past couple of days, and the fact you drank more than usual just the night before. When you climbed in bed, you fell asleep looking at the little lit-up house down the road.

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#i got a bad idea series #southern!wandanat x reader #southern!wandanat #southern!natasha #southern!wanda #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda x fem!reader #wanda x you #natasha x wanda #wandanat x reader #wanda x natasha x reader #Natasha x wanda x reader #marvel natasha romanov #natasha x fem!reader smut #marvel natasha #natasha x fem!reader #natasha romanov x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanov x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanov #marvel natsha romanoff #natasha romanoff #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x you #marvel wanda maximoff #wanda x natasha #natasha x reader

[crystalflygeo]

Last of her kind Emperor!Alpha!Zhongli + Slave!Omega!Dragoness!Reader-

cw/tags: mentions of slavery and past sexual abuse on fem!reader, A/B/O dynamics, mating bites, fingering, scenting, pet names, zhongli has a knot and alpha fangs and is not afraid to use them lmao, some nip and clit stimulation ig?? emotional roller coaster ngl.

notes: So remember a loooong time ago when I held a poll and one of the options was "dragon" and it WON?? well actually it was this, (dragon READER heh) it just got WAY out of control. 5.6k words and now I wanna make it into a whole series //head in hands// anyway ye have this weird lil funky AU I poured my sweat blood and tears into (also my heart and soul) idk why I am just so attached I love it so much plsss I have ideas fot other scenes with them already aaaaaaaaa <3

Partially inspired by some of @silentmoths' fics holy shIT I LOVE DRAGON READER AND I LOVE OMEGAVERSE NOD IF YOU AGREE!!

Last but not least if y'all wanna be part of my pinglist uhh I'm making one now so :3c

Part 2 ->

Strange yellow leaves fall around you all over the courtyard…

“Fix your clothes, you have to look appealing… well, as appealing as a creature like you can be.” The voice of your Master calls out harshly, pulling and tugging at details in your outfit. It was a flimsy and silky thing, mostly see-through, rather elegant, but very revealing.

You’re used to it.

“And stop looking so miserable! You better smile and please this Alpha. He’s not just anyone, you know?”

You nod meekly, trying to hide the slight trembling on your body. This will be just another bonding attempt. Nothing else.

It will fail. Just like all the others before.

Silver chains clink and tug the collar at your neck, it shakes you back to the present as you stumble forward.

Master guides you through a maze of corridors, with sleek surfaces of dark wood, decorative lanterns and paper screens. They’re strange, covered in even stranger symbols that look nothing like the ones back in the desert. Your bare feet, used to rough hot sand, now walk along polished wood with your draconic tail dragging behind. Everything looks so lavish…

You’ve been brought all the way to Li- Liu-… Li-yue? A foreign country, to meet a potential client. Well, a client to your Master. You are just the merchandise: a dragonblood Omega. Rare, unique even, “exotic”.

But defective.

Your fists clench in nervousness. How rough will this Alpha be with you? You dread to find the answer. Alphas were cruel, ever since you remember you’ve been taught to please, be gentle, obedient and look pretty, but they were never any of those things. Alphas just took their pleasure and used your body as they wanted, usually until you were crying and screaming, begging for mercy. You just hope this Alpha would give you some pity and be quick… or give you time to rest in between attempts.

Though you had learned since long that your wishes don’t tend to come true.

What a disappointment. After I spent so much money and resources on you.

Such a waste of time, what use is there in an Omega that can’t bond?

Why do I even bother with you? You’re just good for the reproduction camp. Maybe that way you can produce another dragonblood.

This is your last chance, mutt. If you fail again, I won’t be bothering with you anymore.

You feel anxiety creeping on your chest, heart jumping to your throat as the dark thoughts invade your mind. Last chance… your last chance at bonding. At proving you’re not useless and stupid. At serving your purpose as Omega. What was happening to you was fair. You deserve to be punished and you should be grateful you have one last chance after all your failures.

You just want to… to…

Tears prickle at your eyes and you breathe in deeply, trying to contain your distress and hugging your own tail, rubbing your face on the fluffy tip.

Whatever happens today, your fate is going to be sealed.

The nest room is nice.

Like the rest of the place, it is rather elegant, dimly lit with neutral colors and wooden walls, filled with pillows and blankets that had a very subtle flowery aroma to them. Small cabinets to one side with some decorative objects on top and a full-length mirror on the other side. So much different from the barren cold stone walls and tents from the desert camps.

“Hm, pretty fancy.” Master says taking off your collar, your soft unblemished neck now on display, free from any claim. “Now…” He pulls at your hair and you wince, whining and lowering your ears on a submissive display. He wouldn’t hurt you right? You have to look pretty. “The emperor will be here shortly. Make sure to do anything and everything he wants. And you better smile, I told you.”

“E-Emperor?” You pale, eyes widening.

He scoffs and pushes you back, you stumble back into the mess of pillows. “That’s right. I don’t know why but he was very adamant to see you it seems. Perhaps he just wants the prestige of owning the last known dragonblood, hm? Another novelty for his collection, I’m sure. You should consider yourself really lucky. So…” He flashes his Alpha fangs at you with a growl and you whimper again, cowering. “I would suggest you do your best and don’t disappoint this time, he’ll pay a pretty penny for you.”

And with that he leaves, muttering something and almost slamming the strange sliding door.

And so, you’re alone.

Immediately your brain goes into overdrive. An emperor? You had been presented to various Alphas of high status before, wealthy merchants and high-ranking tribe members, but this… this was probably a whole other level.

An emperor had to have an empress, right? Someone of noble birth and high status such as himself, not a lowly sand lizard like you, with weird ears, scales, horns and a tail. Why would he want to see an Omega like you? Perhaps Master was right, he intended to keep you as a trophy in his collection, another pretty thing.

It was humiliating.

But anything was better than being doomed to the reproduction camp…

Maybe the emperor had a harem? You’ve heard of them before, some Alphas liked to boast having many Omegas bound to them. Living in this luxury, not having to worry about much anything except looking pretty and pleasing him once a while. Hell, maybe he wouldn’t even pay attention to you, you’d be just a glorified pet.

You could… do that.

Without noticing, your tail starts swaying after you, this could be a chance. Your chance. You just had to make him like you. Forget the bond. Don’t think about it. All you have to do is please him.

You start frantically arranging the sheets and pillows around, building the comfiest nest you ever had with all the extra material, scenting it with excited happy pheromones. You could do it, this was your chance.

You won’t fail this time. You’ll be pretty, obedient, submissive, the ideal Omega. You’ll let him use you to his heart’s content, sure you may be a little sore but it’ll be worth it if he chooses you. He won’t even care about the bond.

…Right?

You jolt when you hear the door slide slightly open again, your heart leaps to your throat as someone walks in.

Oh.

Is… he the emperor? … He’s handsome.

To be fully honest, you expected some fat pompous middle-aged man not this… perfect specimen of an Alpha.

Your tail sways a little with curiosity.

He looks only slightly older than you, tall, wearing elegant robes in brown and golden hues. His eyes are like a sunset: golden, warm, almost glowing. A red liner accentuating them. Long chocolate hair faded to amber at the tips. His scent was earthy and pleasant, subtle unlike most Alpha musk. Almost comforting and… familiar?

He seems to stare back at you with the same surprise, frozen for a moment, eyes slightly wide, he says something you can’t quite hear and it shakes you out of the spell. You suddenly feel a little self-conscious, curling your tail around you, ears down and resisting the urge to brush (hide) the scales at the corners of your eyes.

It occurs to you that you’ve been just staring like an idiot, you don’t know very well how to address him, nor know his foreign tongue. So, you simply lower your head in respect. “My Lord…”

You suddenly feel nervous. This is it.

You turn around, following the motions ingrained in your brain. Body splayed on the nest, arms tucked in, head down. Submissive, obedient. Your hands are shaking, you feel dizzy, heart thrumming in your chest, blood rushing in your ears.

You lift your butt just slightly, tail curling elegantly over your back, out of the way to expose the flimsy fabric covering your privates, properly presenting to the Alpha. You focus on trying to control your pheromones, letting out just whiffs of a needy sensual scent, worried of mixing in your anxiety and fear and displeasing the emperor.

You had to be pretty, enticing, compliant, and he would, h-he would…

A rather awkward cough has you tense. “There is… no need for that.”

You blink for a moment, taken aback at the rich deep baritone of his voice, so hypnotizing you almost don’t register his words. He speaks common tongue, but still, what does he mean? Isn’t this just… standard protocol for bonding? Isn’t he going to mount you?

You dare peek over your shoulder and see him sitting elegantly over his knees at the floor. He’s outside of the nest range.

He’s also slightly pink at the cheeks and pointedly avoiding looking at you.

Is this a trap? Is he testing you to see if you’ll misbehave? Your hands clench, nails digging at your palms, your breathing and heart increasing pace.

“I just want to talk, I promise.” He tries.

You hold the position.

He sighs, and then-

“Omega, relax.”

You almost squeak at the Alpha command. His voice, his will, seeps into your skin, your nerves, your very bones. You feel your muscles loosen up, tension leaving your body like a bowstring snapping and you lie on the sheets sideways.

Right right right, you’re tense, you have to be soft and pliant-

You look over at him and he’s… heading over to the little cabinets. He picks up a kettle of some kind and little cups that sit on the top, moving around calmly and elegantly as he seems to prepare something. Your head tilts and you gingerly sit up straight. Tail and ears down, curled up not unlike a wounded animal.

“Do you speak the common tongue?”

“Y-Yes!” You nod. “A little…”

“Good.”

The emperor seems… pleasant, he is calm and unguarded, so different from the cold intimidating Alphas you’ve met who like to show off, who immediately order you around. He even used an Alpha command on you but it felt… grounding. There is something equally eerie and entrancing about him and you feel yourself as much drawn to him as terrified of his imposing aura, and you couldn’t explain why. It’s a bit unsettling but also comforting at the same time.

He pours two cups and turns to you. You stiffen and he offers you one.

“Qixing tea is one of the most refined Liyue teas. It tends to be very bitter but this blend has a more pleasant taste, a little floral even. It is also said to help relax one’s mind.”

You carefully take the cup, not wanting to insult such gracious offer, though you’re utterly confused, shouldn’t you be the one serving him?

The cup is warm.

You stare at the golden liquid, small black dots sit at the bottom. This has no alcohol… right? It can’t be worse than snake wine at least.

You carefully take a sip, trying to imitate how the emperor is holding his.

It is… nice, a strong sharp taste but not bad, and very aromatic.

He’s looking at you expectantly and your tail and ears twitch. “I-It’s very good. Thank you, my Lord.”

He smiles and your heart skips a beat. “I am glad. Some say Qixing tea is for older people, but it’s frankly one of my favorites.” He stares at his cup with a somewhat nostalgic gaze, as if it brings him fond memories. “Ah, you can address me as Morax.”

You nod quietly and take another sip. Past the tea’s powerful flowery scent, you can now sense his Alpha pheromones, with him being so close and the air less tense. They’re strong but not overwhelmingly so, sharp and tantalizing, a refined foreign scent you can almost taste in the back of your throat. It stirs something in you, something warm and alluring.

“Do you know where were you born? Who are your parents?”

The question takes you by surprise for a moment as you shake out of your thoughts. Ah, he must be inquiring about your dragonblood. “I-I’m…. I’m not sure, my Lo- um… L-Lord Morax. As far as I know my mother worked at a-a heat house… no one knew who my father was and she passed away when I was very young.”

“I see… so you have no idea where you got your dragon traits from.” It was a sentence rather than a question and you shake your head meekly, taking another sip from the tea, ears lowering back.

“Apparently it could be due to recessive genes.” You once again repeat the same words you’ve heard all your life. You hate bringing attention to your dragon features, people either treat you like a rare exotic creature or a dangerous one. You didn’t know which was worse.

“Hmmm…” Lord Morax seems pensive for a moment, also drinking some of the tea. “Have you been with your caretaker for long?”

You look down. “Master has been in charge of me ever since I… p-presented as an Omega.”

“Does he treat you well?”

Your eyes widen, the question catching you completely by surprise. T-Treat you well? You are… treated like any other slave omega, if only being singled out by your draconic traits. He feeds you, he gives you clothing and education, he arranges the best matches he can for bonding, he even got you here in the first place. You owe him everything, you’re nothing without him.

So then… Why do you find yourself thinking back on all the harsh words, all the punishments, all the screaming and crying, all the… t-touches…

You gulp. “M-Master ensures I have the best living conditions and opportunities I can.” Is what you settle for.

He hums.

There is silence for a moment and lord Morax settles down his cup.

“I don’t think you’re aware of how special you are.”

Just when you thought he couldn’t surprise you anymore, he utters those words and makes your heart speed up.

Is this anxiety? Fear?

“Judging from what your Master has told me, you’re treated like quite the novelty, an exotic half-blood not unlike the Valuka Shuna or Kätzlein. Here in Liyue however those with traits like yours are called Xiānshòu.” The foreign word rolls off his tongue. His golden eyes fix on you and you freeze. “Also known as illuminated beasts. With immense power and longevity, even the half-bloods. They’re well respected and looked up to, why, some are even revered as deities...”

You? Such a fantastic creature? That can’t be…

“Seems to me like things are different in the deserts of Sumeru, however.” His eyes narrow and for the first time you notice his diamond pupils. They look like a snake’s. The same eerie glint he had a few minutes ago is back darkening the bright golden eyes. Yet, for some strange reason you don’t feel scared this time.

A shiver travels down your spine as you feel your instincts purr in delight. Protective… for some reason lord Morax is being protective of you. You don’t know why or how but you can feel it and it made your inner Omega preen inside. An Alpha wanted to protect you, care for you.

“Such a shame.” He adds, sounding almost disappointed but there is something darker underneath. Word simmering with… frustration? “You are such a lovely dragoness, worthy of every praise and prayer they’d sign in your name here.”

You’re very glad your cup rests at your lap, blushing furiously with trembling hands.

For the next few moments, he continued to ask some more questions. What you like or dislike, what you do in your free time, even something as innocuous as your favorite color. Time seemed to stretch into infinity as you grew a little more comfortable with your answers and the whole situation, as though you weren’t talking to an emperor, or even a potential master or Alpha but rather… someone who saw you for who you are.

You liked that. You liked him.

You wanted to stay with him.

You wished to-

“Alright, I think that’s enough. I will have a talk with your Master and we’ll settle things.” He stands up and dusts his attire a little.

Your breath stops.

He is leaving.

He is leaving.

Did you do something wrong? Didn’t he say he liked your appearance? Are you such a failed disgraceful omega? Your last chance at bonding. You didn’t even get to impress him. You want to call out to him, do something, anything. Panic rises in your chest, drowning you, freezing you. You can barely think, instincts screaming, begging, wailing in despair for him. This kind Alpha, this gentle, patient, imposing, majestic Alpha who’s too good for you and yet something deep inside you yearns for him…!

“I am very glad to have met you little xiānshòu.” A small smile tugs at his lips. Then, he turns and heads for the sliding doors.

So, you do the first thing that comes to your mind.

The empty cup falls from your hands, your footsteps thump loudly on the wooden floors, soft fabric clenches between your fingers.

As soft as the lips you crash yours onto.

…

It only lasts a few seconds but when you back just a little, ears low and tail curled up in apprehension, you realize what you did.

You’d kissed him, you’d kissed the emperor.

You’re shaking like a leaf, clinging to him for dear life. He stares at you with wide surprised eyes but you’d rather die right here for your insolence than live the rest of your days in regret.

His scent takes on an alluring hint to it and your inner Omega is overjoyed. Up so close it is almost irresistible. His face remains impassive, if a little tense, but you can see in his eyes something you identify very well… hunger, desire.

“Lord Morax… t-the nest… please.”

“Y-You don’t have to-”

“Please! Allow me to please you, allow me to show you…how…” You whisper against his lips, leaning in again as your eyes flutter close.

And suddenly his hands wrap around you and pull you close, cupping your face, curling at your waist, there’s something possessive in it and you feel slight vibrations as he growls deep from his chest against your mouth. But there is also something sweet, something delicate…

And for once, you want more. You want this.

How did you end up here? In the most beautiful nest you’d ever constructed, with the most handsome, kind, caring Alpha you’d ever met?

His kisses are deep and slow, completely unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You lie on the soft sheets as he looms over you, exploring your mouth with an unhurried pace, hungry yet not forceful, letting you timidly do the same at your own pace.

This is nice…

His hands run along your body, caressing your skin through your flimsy attire. His touch curious but gentle.

“May I?” He asks, tugging at the fabric off your shoulder.

You shiver, at his voice, as the pure want in it, in his eyes, in his scent.

“Y-yes my lord…”

“Hmm…” His kisses trail down your jaw down to your neck as he starts pulling the garments off. Careful, instead of simply ripping them apart, your heart skips a beat. “If we’re going to do this, you can use my name and not just titles…”

Your top falls off and goosebumps litter your skin, nipples pebbled as one of his hands cups your breast.

“M-Morax…” You try, shakily, as if testing out the word alone on your lips.

“No, little one. Zhongli. That is my name.” He kisses down your shoulders, nipping at the skin.

“Ah!” Your tail flickers around and you purr.

You take the initiative to kiss him this time, and your hands start roaming his foreign clothes, fumbling with knots and pawing at the fabric. He chuckles at your frustrated whine. You want more, more of this feeling, more of him. To touch his skin, cover him in kisses, worship him.

(Show him what a good Omega you can be.)

No…

You want to make him feel good and please him.

Elegant fabric falls down discarded as he shakes off the layers of his top and you blink surprised. The fabric was bulky and covered up his figure. Lean but muscled, tantalizing like honey. You immediately latch onto him, nosing, scenting, nipping and kissing, feeling the faint outline of his abs and muscles twitch under your touch. He smells so good, he feels so good…

Your Omega instincts are starting to cloud your senses more and more.

Suddenly one of his hands gently squeezes a soft breast and you moan at the sudden touch “O-Oh!”

“You’re sensitive here, do you like this?” He asks, massaging your chest.

You whimper and nod frantically, tail wagging behind you. You had never been this responsive to having your chest played with, though then again, it was rare… but his sensual touches were quickly undoing you. Wetness pools at your gut and you rub your legs together.

Lord Mor- Zhongli… leans down then and something wet flicks over your nipple making you gasp, before warmth surrounds your nub. You cry out even louder. He sucks and laps at it and you instinctively tangle your hands on his hard dark hair, your legs wrapping around his waist.

You groan again, too many layers on the way.

“C-clothes… off, please!”

“As you wish, my dear dragoness.”

He continues squeezing, kissing, caressing and lapping at your skin, leaving a couple of hickeys along the way and teasing his Alpha fangs against you as his attention descends through your body once more, continuing his trail of kisses along your hip. His fingers dip down the waistband of your mesh pants and when you raise your hips to help, he pulls them down.

You’ve been naked in front of others more times than you’d like to count. But there’s something oddly intimate and special about this situation right now.

Your ears lower in apprehension, and your tail flicks by your side, resisting the urge to cover up. Lying down with your legs slightly spread around him. Already flushed, sweaty and panting.

“…You’re gorgeous.”

Huh?!

“I’m so lucky to have found you.” Zhongli nips at your hip. “So lucky that you want me too.” He kisses at your inner thigh.

Your breath hitches.

You’re the lucky one. Completely overjoyed that this Alpha likes you, desires you.

The first touch at your core has you mewling.

Zhongli strokes at your folds, still gentle, finding you soaked as your slick coats his fingers. Your body jolts and you moan “A-Ah!” He smirks against your thigh and nips there again as his fingers move in circles, teasing, testing, before moving to your clit. A finger pad stroking it just so, making your whole frame tremble, like every nerve in your body is being stimulated.

“Mngh- please!”

His fingers travel between your folds. First one sliding in rather easily, pumping steadily as you shudder in pleasure, and then two, making you writhe, bucking your hips against the touch, pushing them deeper, chasing that feeling.

Your body feels hot, too hot. Every sensation blocked except that warm wet feeling down there, in your new heaven. Your hands claw at the sheets, a pleasant fog setting in and you can feel yourself slipping into your most primal needs. But oh, oh, not like this.

You want him. Need him.

“You- y-you! please my lord!”

Something snaps in the Alpha’s eyes and Zhongli growls. Golden eyes dark, swallowed by lust and need and you whine when his fingers leave you. You vaguely hear rustling noises and before you can protest again, he pulls you up back on his lap and oh…

He’s big.

His erection stands proud between your bodies, rubbing against you and you shuffle impatiently, nuzzling against him.

Yes, yes…

Zhongli helps positioning you, gives himself a few strokes, and you feel his cockhead kiss at your entrance, you whine and stare at him rather confused. “L-Like this? B-But I have never- This is n-not how-”

He kisses your forehead, your nose, and pecks at your lips. “I can imagine this is very different from how they’ve taught you Alphas mount Omegas, but I my dear, intend to make love to you.” He whispers, hot breath fanning your cheeks as he nuzzles you, so close, so intimate. Your heart hammering wildly in your chest. “Like this you will have more control. I want you to relax, enjoy, my sweet dragoness.” He kisses at your cheek, down your jaw to your neck. “May I?”

You can feel your eyes water. No one had ever told you that. No Alpha had ever been this patient or even asked your permission before. Words die on your throat as you stare mesmerized at Zhongli. Grateful. Incredulous. Completely enamored.

You nod, and he guides you down.

It’s different like this. So much different.

You bite your lip and whine a little once you start to move, his hands hold your hips as you raise them and sink back down on his cock, inch by delicious inch. You feel… full, but warm, good. Your insides clench around him and he groans.

Oh… you could get used to this…

“Hah… ah! … m-my lord... I’m…” You feel dizzy but in a good way, your body tingles all over and it’s exhilarating, addicting.

He leans forward a bit, nosing at your collarbone, soft kisses tickle your skin and he… he’s almost purring in delight, inhaling your scent. “I told you, you can just call me by my name... Would you let me hear it?”

You buck languidly on his embrace, enjoying this…sensual experience, these new feelings and sensations. His tender closeness, his intoxicating pheromones, his deep baritone.

Him.

“Zhongli…”

His name comes out as a needy cry and he growls, Alpha pride clearly satisfied. His hands roam your body just enough to shift position and pull you even closer, hips rolling in tandem, picking up speed, his fangs grazing your shoulder.

Your head is swimming in pleasure, fuzzy like stuffed with cotton, small little “Ah… ah… ah!” moans punched out of you. You’re vaguely aware of your nails digging onto his skin but you can’t even stop yourself, you need to hold onto something, anything.  

Even your tail subconsciously curls around his ankle (and he doesn’t even seem to mind), like every cell of your body is screaming at you to hold onto him and never let go.

Zhongli’s own breathing comes out in harsh puffs and satisfied groans as he buries himself in you over and over, the sound of skin slapping on skin becomes more prominent.

And then, he hits a spot that has you seeing stars.

Your eyes snap open (when had you closed them?) Back arching as if struck by lightning and letting out a high-pitched moan. H-How did he do that?! What was that? You don’t remember ever feeling like this in previous bonding attempts.

“M-more?” You mewl in delight.

Zhongli looks at you with a satisfied smirk and it only fuels the fire in your belly.

“Gladly.”

That same wonderful feeling travels up and down your body again and again as your moans and whimpers rise in volume, calling his name over and over. Zhongli kisses you, deep and passionate. Whispers praises and sweet nothings on your flickering dragon ears. Touches you so soft and reverently. Your body feels so hot, your mind going blank, you can feel the base of his cock swelling with his knot and the familiar coil of pleasure tightening as you anticipate it, crave it, more intense and satisfying than ever before.

And just as you reach that high, his fangs sink into you.

You come with a squeal, body tensing, clinging onto him, clenching on him as he lets out a deep satisfied groan, knotting you. Wet stickiness coats your insides and thighs. And everything feels right, just right. Perfect even.

It takes a moment to come back to your senses, and it’s to Zhongli’s hands rubbing circles at your back comfortingly, while he laps and kisses at the bonding mark he left on you.

And then the high comes crashing down.

The bonding mark.

Tears well up in your eyes and start rolling down your cheeks, your tail uncoiling from him and curling around yourself protectively, ears down.

Please no… this can’t be…

Please stay…

Please.

Zhongli immediately notices your distress, in your actions and your scent, completely different altogether. His own instincts going wild at the lack of a happy sated mate scent. “Darling, what’s wrong? I’m sorry did it hurt that much? Did I… harm you in some way or did something wrong?” Oh, he sounds so genuinely concerned.

You shake your head desperately. Of course he hasn’t.

But you will.

Your body will. Betray you as always.

No bonding mark has stayed in your neck for longer than a few minutes. They all fade.

Just like the alphas that place them in you.

And then comes the anger, the guilt, the disappointment, the despair, the loneliness…

You can’t take it. Not this time.

“S-stay… please…” You sob.

Your voice sounds so broken, so weak and tiny, absolutely heart wrenching.

And Zhongli embraces you.

“I will, my dearest dragoness. I promise you.” He kisses one of your horns.

You want to believe him but you can only cry harder…

The room is dark as your eyes flutter open. It takes a few minutes to adjust and for your mind to catch up. Where are you…? You look around at the wooden walls, nestled in comfy sheets, you see some wooden cabinets and a tea set-

…!!!

You jolt awake, tumbling some pillows from your fancy nest. Your last chance at bonding. The emperor. He was leaving, and then…!

You slap a hand against the junction between neck and shoulder and feel something there, a bandage… you try to stare at it confused, though it’s impossible from the angle. And then fear consumes you. What if… it’s not there…?

Your body is still naked, though you have been covered with a thick fabric while sleeping, as it now pools at your lap, your Omega scent and that of an Alpha mixed together pleasantly, you turn around.

The Emperor. Lord Morax. Zhongli.

He sleeps peacefully by your side, on your nest, after having mated you.

He stayed.

You stare at his handsome features, fair skin, dark long hair, strong jaw, muscled arms. His lips slightly parted as he breathes evenly. So at ease.

You want to reach out and brush at his hair, touch his face, kiss him.

You want this moment to last forever.

Looking up slightly you see the large mirror, see yourself. A tiny thing, with freaky ears, horns and a tail.

It was… good, while it lasted. Almost like a dream.

Tears start falling down your cheeks again and you try to be as silent as possible as you pull and lift at the bandage in your shoulder. And there underneath it is… something?

Your fingers trace a mark, a wound, it stings and you hiss.

No way. There is no way.

Hope flutters in your chest, your stomach flips and you feel dizzy, nervous. A bonding mark? Is it real? Is it still there?

You shuffle out of the nest as fast and stealthily as you can, standing in front of the mirror. Hair a mess, eyes wide, pale in fear.

And there it is. The clear mark of an Alpha bite, still rather tender. A claim. A bond.

You start sobbing as you trace it, touch it, feel it. It must have been hours, there is no way…

It’s there, it’s there, for real. You want to laugh, to cry, you’re still nervous, scared, hopeful, happy, a million things at once.

But how? Why now?

“Hnng… darling? Are you crying again?” You stiffen as you hear the voice, deep and hoarse, laced with drowsiness. You turn and see him sit up and yawn carelessly like a rishboland tiger. Elegant and intimidating like one too with his bright golden eyes, Alpha fangs and muscled figure. Still naked as well, you note.

“T-the bonding mark… it’s still there!” You exclaim to him, gesturing to it.

“You should let it heal nicely.”

“Y-You don’t get it!” You huff. “My Lord… it’s still there! I’m bonded, I’m yours!”

He chuckles. “Rather, I would say we belong to each other, now.”

Belong to each other.

That sounds nice.

You turn back to the mirror, still staring at it, poking it with a finger softly, as if afraid it’ll disappear, as if it was an illusion, a dream.

But it’s there.

“For years… for years I thought I was doing s-something wrong, that there was something… wrong… with me…” You cry softly. “No Alpha had even bonded me…”

Suddenly you feel strong arms curl around your frame, a chin resting at your shoulder where it kisses your skin, and then brushes over the mark. It stings but you welcome it.

It means it’s real, all of this is.

Zhongli inhales, taking in your scent. “Well you see my dear, a dragonblood… a xiānshòu like you, can only be truly bonded by one of its own kind.”

The words take a moment to process, to sit on your brain, and you frown confused, staring at him from the mirror. And then your eyes widen.

Golden antlers crown his head, majestic and almost glowing, small scales appear under his striking amber eyes, the color of burnt ocher. A large tail, even bigger than yours in golden and brown hues, sways lazily behind him, before finding yours and intertwining with it, the feel is foreign but not unwelcome. Like holding hands.

You turn around so fast you almost trip if it weren’t for his hold. The dragonblood features are still there, in plain sight.

Your throat feels dry.

“You… you’re…”

He raises a finger to his lips and shushes you, then smiles. “I am yours my dear. Just as you are now mine.”

You cling to him and hide your face on his chest as you cry. Overwhelmed, relieved.

Yes, this is where you belong.

#zhongli smut #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin x you #genshin impact x you #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin imagines #genshin impact imagines #crys writes #fem reader #PLS I LOVE THIS IDEA SO MUCH???? #this took SOOOO LONG SORRY AAAAAAA #idek what to say here lma just enjoy hope ppl like it bc.... it's so long;;;;; #got a pretty header tho serious business :O #LohK #just in case (?)

[confused-pyramid]

Tell Me Some Things Last | s3

pairing: aaron hotchner x childhood bsf!reader

summary: Hotch and his childhood best friend working together at the BAU: a slow burn across the seasons.

word count: 23.1k

warnings: canon!typical violence, mentions of abuse, mentions of death, specific episodes mentioned in this part are 3x01, 3x02, 3x03, 3x06, 3x08, 3x09, 3x14, 3x16, 3x17, 3x19, and 3x20

a/n: season 3! The slow burn continues:) This was really fun to write, so I hope you enjoy it! (and I promise the chapters won't keep getting longer, this one just got out of hand LMAO) Title is from Heal by Tom Odell

series masterlist

"Excuse me?"

Section Chief Strauss doesn't falter. "You can't expect me to believe you think Agent Hotchner has done an effective job leading this unit."

"You can't expect me to believe that you think I'd willing spy on my unit chief for you."

She sighs and you want to throttle her. "Agent L/N, I know you two share a history, but this is bigger than that. People have died on his watch."

You have been trying to remain neutral since you were called into her office, but every word that comes out of her mouth makes you see red. Yes, this past year has been tough, but none of it was in his control.

"I think you know my answer," you say coldly, straightening your back in her chair. "I have to go, we have a case in Arizona."

She holds your gaze for a second, before nodding and turning back to her computer. You stand up and leave her office without another word, hastening your pace to a light jog the moment you're out of her line of sight.

You want to talk to Hotch as soon as possible, but by the time you get back to the bullpen, the whole team and their go-bags are gone. Grabbing your own bag, you rush over to the airstrip where everyone is settled inside the jet.

He glances up with a thin smile when you take a seat across from him, and you return it, not wanting to raise his concern when everyone is around.

The Flagstaff police meet you at the airport when you land, and everyone jumps into the awaiting SUVs to get to the crime scene as soon as possible.

The victim is another brunette woman on the college campus, but luckily her body was found after curfew, so students aren't milling around.

You step closer to examine the woman's body as JJ glances down at her hand. "She had her Mace out, but she didn't use it?"

Morgan nods, looking around. "And it's well-lit. He's not afraid of being seen."

A bus stop sign catches your attention and you turn to Detective Griffith. "How often do the shuttles run?"

He answers immediately. "Every 10 minutes."

"Were all the other victims posed like this?" Reid asks, bending over to get a better look. "With their arms crossed."

Griffith frowns. "Yeah. Why?"

"It's a classic sign of remorse," Morgan responds, stepping in to take over the explanation. "The unsub kills the victim then immediately feels bad about it, so he poses them like this, so they'll rest in peace."

"You can tell that just by the arms?"

"It's why you called us here. To build a psychological profile of your killer."

After inspecting the crime scene, Gideon and Morgan leave to talk to the dean of the school, and JJ and Reid go to meet with the students living in the victim's dorm. Hotch is still back at the station, and you haven't gotten a chance to talk to him since meeting with Strauss, but you push it out of your mind as you accompany Emily to the coroner's office.

You're so lost in thought that the drive over is entirely silent, and it's not until you've parked that you realize she didn't say a word either.

When the coroner leads you to the victim's body, you notice how much clearer each of the markings and cuts are. Hotch doesn't assign you to speak with the coroners very often, usually sending Prentiss, because of her incredible attention to detail, but not that you're here, you appreciate the second chance to examine the victim.

"Did the other victims have this much overkill?" she asks, pulling out her camera as you flip open your notebook.

"Death was caused by a single, very forceful stab wound to the heart," the coroner confirms.

You lean in closer to see the insertion point and notice the lumpy discoloring on the victim's chest. "Yeah, it looks like he broke through the breastbone."

"And after that he just lashed out at random," he adds.

Emily hums in agreement before snapping a couple of photos. "Well, no defensive wounds. She didn't even hold her hands up to fight him off."

"The first two victims were the same."

A shudder runs through you as the two of you leave the cold room and emerge into the warm sunlight. "Why is it almost harder to look at the victims when they're cleaned up and no longer covered in blood?"

Emily considers your question for a moment. "Maybe it's because they look less human that way."

You remember Jeff's funeral, how lifeless he seemed in his casket, and how you could barely look at him during the proceedings. It was somehow worse than seeing him at the crime scene, blood everywhere. At least then, you could still see the warmth in his skin. Later, he just looked cold.

"I think you're right," you tell her just as her phone chirps with a call.

She stiffens imperceptibly when she sees the number, but you only notice because of how hyper-vigilant you have been about your own tells since speaking with Strauss. "I need to take this. Give me a second."

She walks away from you and answers the call, her tone hushed so that you can't hear her. You know it could easily just be a personal call about something private in her life, but there's something almost familiar about the look in her eyes when she saw the number.

"Everything okay?" you ask her when she returns, but she just sighs and starts walking to the SUV. "It's nothing."

You haven't known her for as long as the other members of the team, but it's not hard to tell that she's hiding something. She looks distracted as she avoids making eye contact, and when you remember how you did the same with Hotch on the plane, the pieces fall into place.

If Strauss gave her the same assignment she tried to give you, then you need to keep an eye on her. You don't believe that she would sell out the team, but you also know how terrifying you thought Strauss was when you first joined the bureau.

***

The profile leads you to take Nathan Tubbs, one of the campus security guards, into custody, and while Gideon interrogates him, you walk with Reid, JJ, and Emily through the quad to get back to the station.

"Everyone is so much younger than I remember being," JJ says, as you all pass through a crowded part of campus. Word must have spread that the team arrested someone, because you can't imagine why else there would be so many students hanging outside after dark.

"Yeah, it's a weird age," Emily chuckles. "You want to be treated like an adult, but you're still used to someone else solving your problems for you."

"All I remember is trying to figure out who I was."

That makes you laugh. "I had no idea what I wanted to do when I was in college."

"Didn't you go to college with Hotch?" JJ asks, her eyes twinkling. You expect she's hoping for an embarrassing, or at least interesting, story from those years, but your past with him feels almost like sacred territory: something you can't breach when he's not around.

"Not college," you correct, "just everything else before and after."

"What was he like then?" Emily asks, genuine curiosity in her tone. You still can't believe that she would spy for Strauss, but you also can't help your suspicions.

"He was completely different, but also the same." You smile as you think back to the early years of your friendship. "He was kind of a cool kid in high school, but he was just as focused and determined as he is now."

"Hotch was popular?" Reid asks in disbelief.

JJ snorts. "Why can't I imagine that at all."

"He was trustworthy," you shrug, "and kind. Even when people weren't kind to him."

The three of them go silent, and you suddenly feel extremely self-conscious, but you're saved when your phone rings with a call from Derek. "Hey."

"There's been another murder."

***

The case ends in a murder-suicide that a part of you believes Gideon should've seen coming. JJ calls the jet to take off at first light, and everyone looks exhausted when you arrive at the airport. You sleep most of the flight back, but when you step into the field office again, you know you can't ignore the talk you've been avoiding all day.

You go to his office in the hopes of having this conversation privately, but he isn't inside when you look through the open door. You turn back with a frown and are about to head down the stairs again when you see him leaving Strauss's office across the hall.

He spots you immediately, and before you can say anything, he says, "I just got suspended."

Your mouth falls open. "What?"

"Two weeks."

You blanche as you follow him into his office, where he immediately starts packing up his essentials into his briefcase. "Hotch...I have to tell you something. Something I should have mentioned yesterday."

"What is it?" he asks, his voice slightly distracted.

"StraussaskedmetospyonyouandIthinkshealsoaskedEmily!"

He blinks. "Can you say that again?"

You press your lips together, before trying again, slower this time. "Strauss asked me to spy on you, and I think she also asked Emily."

He closes his eyes for a beat, but it feels like years. You can feel the disappointment wafting off of him, but he doesn't say anything, giving you the time to explain in more detail.

"She asked me right before we flew to Arizona," you tell him, your chest aching at the defeated look on his face. "I told her I wouldn't do it, of course, and that you are the perfect leader for this team. But I was watching Emily the whole time we were there, and I think Strauss might have threatened her or made her some kind of offer."

His hands pause their packing and for a moment, you're worried that he's going to be angry you didn't come to him sooner, but then he just sighs, a deeply dejected sound. "I figured she would. It's basically in the FBI playbook."

"You knew?" you say, your voice almost like a gasp.

"I didn't know for sure," he amends, "but I believed so. And I'm usually right about these kinds of things. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. You guys will be fine without me."

You want to shake him; to reach forward and rattle his shoulders until he realizes that this is it. This is exactly why he makes such a great unit chief.

He doesn't get angry, even when he may have cause to be. He trusts his team so wholeheartedly that even under the suspicion of spying to the higher-ups, he still treats everyone the same. He puts the team above himself in almost every aspect, and the intermittent calls you get from Haley when you're in the middle of a long case prove that it may be to his own detriment, but he still does it. Because he cares so deeply, about each of you, and about each victim, and about catching each killer.

"We need you," you say, emphasizing your words as though that will make him understand you better.

"Morgan and Prentiss will be fine," he says pointedly, as though trying to prove a point. "I'm sure they'll even be better off. And Reid and JJ can look to you for guidance. It's practically what they do already."

"Fine," you sigh, throwing your hands up in exasperation. "They'll be okay. But what if I need you?"

He looks at you then, and there's a sadness behind the stern set of his eyes. "You'll be okay."

***

You have to drag yourself out of the house the next morning. The knowledge that Hotch (and most likely Gideon) won't be at the office sucks the motivation out of you, especially because you have no idea what will happen once the team is given another case. Will they assign you a new unit chief? Will they temporarily promote someone on the team?

You push your questions out of your mind as you mindlessly get through security and flop down at your desk. There's a palpable difference with half the team gone, especially since Emily doesn't seem to be anywhere in sight either, and the emptiness of the office somehow feels more claustrophobic.

You finished all of your paperwork the night before, because you couldn't sleep after hearing of Hotch's suspension, so sitting at your desk now, you have nothing to do until a new case arrives.

Reid and Morgan dive into their own paperwork the minute they sit down, and they don't look up except to grab a new pen or refill their mugs.

You can see the tension lining everyone's shoulders, the stress about the future of this team, with its two senior-most members gone.

When you can't take the lack of work anymore, you head over to JJ's office, where she is poring over a stack of case files so tall that you can't see her face until you step in front of her desk. "Hey, JJ."

"Oh, hey," she says, looking up at you. "It's been really quiet out there."

You nod, dropping onto the sofa across from her. "Half the team's gone. It doesn't feel the same."

"I wish I could come out there and sit with you guys, but I have so many new case files to look over."

"Need any help?"

She looks up in surprise. "Actually, that would be great. Can I leave you with a few of them? There's a checklist for what I need you to note down at the top of that stack."

"Of course," you say before she hands you a thick stack of files. "I'll get them back to you soon."

"Take your time," she says, waving you away. "I have like a billion more to go through anyway."

When you're back at your desk, you set down the stack with a small thud and open the first file. You're bombarded with gory images of men who have been brutally stabbed to death, and you read over the case history quickly before opening the next one. This time, the images are of live women, all of whom share a skin tone and hair color, and have been kidnapped in the last week.

You slam the file shut and close your eyes in an effort to keep your head from spinning. You don't understand how anyone could classify these cases. How they could decide that one of these unsubs is worse than another. But there aren't enough teams like yours to cover every case that comes through the door, so someone has to.

You glance up at Hotch's office again, a force of habit, and the darkness in his doorway reminds you of the emptiness in the office. It's the same with Gideon's office, and Emily's desk.

You miss them all.

***

The first week of Hotch's suspension is hell. Gideon still hasn't turned up, and you can see his absence clawing at Spencer, who hasn't gone more than an hour without glancing at his office since he left. Derek doesn't admit it, but you can tell he misses Hotch's leadership over the team.

Strauss has come by periodically to "check in" on your team's work, but with the other units available to take on any new cases, she hasn't assigned you anything. You know she doesn't trust your team, but you're surprised that even with Hotch gone, she's still treating all of you like extensions of him. Not that she's wrong about that.

Without getting called in, you stay at home for the first few days, and even get some use out of your Peloton for once. You've been missing him all week, but it's not until the following Monday that you decide to actually do something about it.

Grabbing the files JJ gave you to look over, you stuff them in your bag and drive up to his house. Both cars are in the driveway when you arrive, and you belatedly realize that you should have called first.

You knock on the door hesitantly, and are surprised to see Jack in Haley's arms when she opens the door. She looks excited to see you, but you still feel bad about just showing up. "I'm sorry, I should have called."

"Not at all," she says, opening the door wider for you to enter. "You know I love seeing you."

"Y/N's here," Haley announces as she leads you into the kitchen and sets Jack back into his high chair. She shoots you a pointed look. "And she's not here to talk about work."

"Of course not," you say with a laugh. "I just wanted to see how the suspension was going. The team really misses you."

He acknowledges you with a small nod, and you take a seat opposite him at the table, where he is feeding Jack his cereal.

"I miss everyone, too," he says, "but it's also been nice to have some extra time at home."

"This suspension has been a blessing in disguise," Haley jumps in, ruffling Jack's hair. You don't miss the way Hotch's jaw twitches.

You aren't sure what to say to that, but Haley just pulls Jack out of his chair and turns to the doorway. "I'm gonna put him down for his nap. It was nice seeing you, Y/N."

"You too, Hales," you say earnestly, before smiling at Jack. "Bye, buddy."

When she's out of the room, you shoot Hotch a look that makes him lean back with a frown. "What?"

"You miss work, don't you."

He huffs, and you take that as an admission. "I've loved being home," he says, his words slightly more emphasized than necessary.

You can hear the candor in his voice. You don't doubt that he loves spending time with his family, you just also know the pull of the job. The fulfillment of saving people from unimaginable horrors, and the desolate ache that comes when you know you aren't doing everything you can.

"You can feel both things," you whisper as he exasperatedly runs his hand through his hair. He got a haircut.

The thought pops into your head against your will, and you glance up at his hair as you realize this is the shortest it's been in a long time. It suits him, but it also emphasizes the hard furrow of his brow.

"Haley doesn't understand that," he says simply, no ill intention in his tone, "but I can't expect her to. I barely understand it, and it's what I'm feeling."

To the outside listener, his words could be construed as complaints, but there's nothing but deep empathy in his voice. He loves her so much, and even though they're having differences about his work life, she loves him too.

You spend the next half hour talking him through each of the cases that JJ left you with, and when Haley returns to the kitchen after putting Jack down for his nap, you pull out a chair for her and tuck the files away.

"We need to have you over for dinner sometime soon," she says as soon as she takes a seat. "I can't believe we haven't done it yet." She looks to Hotch with an earnest sigh. "I guess Jack has been kind of a handful, but I can't believe this is your first time coming to the house since he was born."

"It's been too long," he agrees, draping an arm over the back of her chair. The sight of their casual intimacy is a reminder of what you once had, but the usual mistiness doesn't come when you think about Jeff. Your chest just fills with a liquid-y warmth that feels like melted chocolate and syrup.

"Likewise," you smile, patting Haley's hand. "I don't know if I can handle another night out, even with the mid-evening interruption."

She laughs heartily, and you see Hotch's lips curve up involuntarily. "I think I'm partied out for the year."

His arm slips down to rest against her waist, but she doesn't lean into him like she usually does. You avert your eyes, glancing up at their kitchen wall clock and faking a gasp. "I've taken up too much of your family time. I should go."

"It's okay," Hotch assuages at the same time that Haley says, "I'll walk you out."

They share a small glance, and you suddenly feel intrusive in their home. "I'll see you in a week."

He nods and you follow Haley to the door, where she gives you a quick squeeze and another promise to have you over for dinner soon. The sun starts to set as you drive home, and before you can second guess yourself, you're turning into a local farmer's market that is about to shut down for the night.

You rush through the stalls and stop in front of the flower shop, where you buy a dozen pink carnations. The vendor ties the bouquet with a silky ribbon and you hold the flowers close to your heart as you walk back to your car and start driving.

This time, you're more aware of the direction you're headed. You don't stop your car until you're in the parking lot and you don't stop moving until you're past the front gates and up the grassy hill where Jeff's headstone sits stoically under the waning sunlight.

You take a deep breath as you sink down to your knees, blissfully unaware of the grass stains coloring your slacks. You set the flowers down in front of his headstone, which you haven't seen in months.

                                                 Jeff Adler

                               Beloved Son, Husband, Brother

                                        Until we meet again

The carnations look bright against the gray stone, and you arrange them neatly so that they don't get blown away.

He loved flowers. He knew they were impermanent and likely a waste of money, but he still loved all of the different emotions they symbolized, and how beautiful they could be for as long as they lasted.

He brought you a bouquet of heliotrope almost every week after you got married, and when you asked him what it meant, he insisted that it was something you had to find out in your own time. That time came a quick Google search later, and when the words 'eternal love' flashed on your screen, you knew you had picked the right man.

You brush your finger against the petals of the pink carnations you brought, remembering the rest of what the search yielded. Angelica for inspiration, calla lily for beauty, and pink carnation for gratitude.

You're so grateful you met him. So grateful he loved you as much as you loved him.

"I love you," you whisper, suddenly needing to say the words out loud. There's no one around, and the sun has set far enough that there's barely enough light to see, but your words feel strong as they come out of your mouth. "Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for giving me 10 beautiful years."

You wipe away the tear that falls from the corner of your eye. "Goodbye."

***

He takes his time as he walks through the halls of the Virginia field office on Monday morning. He hasn't been inside in two weeks, and after he and Haley agreed that he should request a transfer, he likely won't be back again for a very long time.

When he walks past the glass doors of the bullpen, he spots you at your desk, pointing out something to Morgan in a case file. He hastens his pace so you don't see him. He still doesn't know how to tell you that he isn't coming back.

"Good morning, ma'am," he says when Strauss beckons him into her office.

"I was hoping you'd do the right thing," she says, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Have you given any thought to what department you'll request?"

He shakes his head. "I was under the impression that if I left the BAU, I'd have my choice of posts."

"Well, I'll consider it after I fully complete my investigation."

She pauses before looking at him again. "You were a prosecutor. What about heading up a white-collar crime task force? That'll get you home at night at a reasonable hour."

That sounds like exactly what Haley wants for them. They spent hours over the last week discussing what the best path forward would be post-suspension, and after countless late-night arguments, they finally agreed on a transfer. It would be best for the team, and best for his family. So why does he feel so guilty?

"Sorry to interrupt."

Prentiss barges into the office, as though she had an appointment. She glances over at him, and he can't read her expression. "Sir, I've decided to resign from the FBI, effective immediately."

"I don't understand," he frowns, taking in her rigid posture. He remembers your suspicions, as well as his own, but this can't be where it ends.

"I'm taking the foreign service exam. With my connections, I'd stand a good chance of landing in the State Department."

"Prentiss," he urges, trying to convey his understanding in his tone. "I think that's a mistake."

She shakes her head with a sigh. "Well, don't try to talk me out of it. Garcia saw my name on the list, and she already tried."

That makes him pause. "If she can't talk someone out of doing something, no one can."

"Sorry for the interruption, but, sir, it's good to see you back." She turns her gaze to Strauss, even as she continues speaking to him. "The team needs you."

She stalks out of the room after a quick "Ma'am", leaving him alone with Strauss, who looks like she's up to her last nerve. "I'll be overseeing this next case until I can assign your replacement."

"You don't have any field experience, do you?" He doesn't mean for the words to come out so critically, but his emotions are a jumbled mess that he can't decipher well enough to fix his mood right now.

"My job is to protect the Bureau. If I have to hold the team's hand for one case, so be it."

Hold the team's hand. He can't imagine that Strauss will be of much help in the field, but he keeps his mouth shut. He's been around enough authority figures to know when to keep his criticisms to himself.

"Ma'am," he says gently, hoping he can turn his thoughts into useful advice. "In order to function effectively, this team needs stability."

She clasps her hands together on her desk, and he knows it's done. There's nothing he can do to fix this for the team, at least not on this case. "The BAU has some very talented people, and they're Bureau assets, and I believe it's time that they were out from underneath the leadership of you and Jason Gideon."

***

Hotch was supposed to come back today. It's not until you're on the plane that Derek informs the team that he's requesting a transfer.

"What?" you burst out, unable to keep your composure even with Strauss seated a few rows behind you.

"He didn't tell you?"

You shake your head with a forlorn frown, and Derek jumps back in quickly to remediate the situation. "I only found out because I ran into him on the way to the jet. He didn't seem like he was in the mood for talking."

But he tells you everything. At least you thought he did.

"It's okay," you say, forcing your face into a neutral expression. "This isn't about me. I just can't believe he's leaving."

"Yeah," JJ grimaces, "and I can't believe we're stuck with her now. You know, from this angle, she looks almost human."

You all glance behind you, but thankfully, her face is still buried in the case file.

"Emily didn't come in today, either," you point out, turning to the empty seat next to you. "We're down two agents, and Gideon's MIA."

Reid blinks, and you curse yourself for being so cavalier. You know how hard Gideon's absence has been on him.

He recovers quickly and leans in to the center console with a raised eyebrow. "Has Strauss ever even been out of the-"

A chorus of shushes come from Derek and JJ and he shuts up as Strauss walks down the aisle and sits across from you all. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe it's protocol to brief everyone before we arrive at the crime scene?"

JJ turns red and she nods hastily, opening her file. "Yes, ma'am."

Strauss has only been here for ten minutes and you already want to strangle her. JJ explains the case details succinctly, and when the plane lands, you all head over to the crime scene to find Detective Wolynski, who called your team in when the murders got out of hand.

Within minutes of meeting them, Strauss manages to ruin your relationship with the local police by questioning their decision to wait so long to call in the BAU. JJ immediately takes matters into her own hands as she explains that we have to work with them if we want to be included in the investigation at all, but she doesn't seem to care.

You get a call from Penelope as you're heading back to the SUVs, and you step aside to get out of Strauss's earshot. "What's up, Pen?"

"I tried everything I could," she wails. You can hear the distinct clicking of her keyboard in the background. "I tried to convince him to stay, but he's so stubborn."

You sigh, glancing over at the scene, where Strauss looks positively nauseous. You can empathize with her emotions, because you know how hard it was for you to see your first crime scene in person, but this just further proves how unfit she is to understand what being on this team really means. "If he made up his mind, there's gonna be no changing it, unless he changes it himself."

She huffs, before audibly perking up. "I gave him the Milwaukee case file before he went home, and I also, uh, saw that his transfer hasn't passed through the system yet."

You're almost certain she had something to do with that, but your mind immediately starts going through the possibilities of what this could mean. If his transfer isn't in the system, then that means he technically still works on this team...which means him not being here is in dereliction of duty. If there's anything that can convince Hotch to show up, it's duty.

"You've been more help than you know," you tell her, before hanging up and hopping into the SUV.

***

When he arrived at his house with the case file Garcia gave him, he immediately stuffed it in his bag and tossed it onto the floor. He definitely didn't think about reading it the entire time he was changing out of his suit, and making a quick lunch for Haley and himself. When she went upstairs to put Jack down for his nap, he couldn't help himself any longer.

Reaching into his bag, he pulls out the file and flips it open slowly, being careful to angle the gruesome photos away from the stairs in case Haley came down without him noticing. Women taken in the afternoons and killed. Bodies dumped in the morning. Hearts cut out of their chests. The words pop out at him as he skims the page, and he's so engrossed in the material that he doesn't hear her until she's standing over him. "I thought this was over."

"It is," he sighs, closing the file. "I'm just curious." He doesn't know when he started lying to his wife, but he doesn't like it. The bitter taste of it in his mouth.

He can see her gearing up for a fight when their home phone rings. He picks it up and clicks the button to answer, but even after saying 'hello' a couple of times, no one responds. For a split second, his mind flashes back a year to the Fisher King and the secret message left on his home phone, but he pushes the thought away.

He clicks the phone off, looking up at Haley again, but then a shrill ringing sound starts again, this time from her purse across the living room.

An unfamiliar queasiness fills his stomach, and he maintains eye contact with her as her eyes flicker back and forth a couple of times. He promised himself he would never profile his family, but the analyses come before he can shut off that part of his brain. Shifting eyes. Rigid posture. All indications of lying and shame.

"What did the Section Chief say?" she asks, her hands going to her hips. Stance of power to overcompensate for-

He shakes the line of thinking from his head. "She suggested that I transfer to a white-collar-crime task force."

"Would you have to travel?"

"No, I'd have a nine-to-five life."

She nods, and he can see the finality in her stance. "Then, it's a no-brainer."

***

You haven't been able to focus as well as you'd like to with the knowledge that Hotch isn't coming back hanging over your head. When you get a spare moment at the station, you step out of the conference room where all of the evidence has been scattered around and press the first number on your speed dial.

"Hello?" It's Haley.

You stumble over your words as you say 'hello' back. You weren't expecting it to be her who answered. She clearly wasn't expecting you either, because she sighs dramatically when she hears your voice and you hear a quiet "It's Y/N" before the phone is handed over.

You can understand where she's coming from. When Jeff was about to start his undercover assignment, you were so angry at him for choosing to be away from you for so long. But then rationality won over, and you remembered why he was doing it...for the same reason you are.

"Hey."

He sounds guilty. You can imagine.

"Hey," you say simply, waiting for him to fill in the gaps. He owes you at least that much.

"I'm sorry," he says after a long pause, "but you knew this was coming. You know Haley hates what this job turns me into, and you know sometimes I hate it too."

That wasn't really the explanation you were expecting. Not willing to let him off the hook, you turn your face away from the conference room windows to hide your expression and lower your voice. "You should have told me, and you know it. That's why you're hiding behind this false justification...but I guess you know that too."

There's a small rustling sound over the receiver and you can imagine him running his hands through his newly cropped hair. "This doesn't change the fact that I'm leaving."

Sometimes you forget that he was once a young boy with an alarmingly developed moral compass that didn't always point in your direction. It's times like this that remind you.

"Fine." You feel like an irritable teenager again, but you can't contain yourself around him. Even when you want to hide a part of yourself, you can't.

"How's the case going?" he asks finally. His voice has gotten softer and you know he feels bad about how this call has been going, but with neither of you willing to concede, you decide to ignore it for now.

"Well, Strauss just offended the lead detective 45 seconds into her first crime scene."

He chuckles softly. "I'm not surprised."

"This isn't about to get any better, is it?" you ask, huffing out a forlorn sigh.

"I doubt it," he agrees. "I'll keep looking at the file from my end. Any idea how he's getting control of these women? Is he blitzing them or coercing them?"

"So far, we're coming up blank," you admit, glancing back at Morgan and Reid, who appear to be in a productive debate.

"All right. Keep me posted."

***

Another victim turns up and you're not any closer to figuring out who the unsub is. Derek steps away from the group a few minutes after you and you see him pacing the halls of the precinct, his phone pressed to his ear.

A break in the case comes when Garcia identifies school records of children who exhibit signs of perfectionism and co-dependence, leading you to a profile for the unsub. You're all listening to Garcia as she reads off the records when the door opens, with two figures standing in the entrance.

"Look who's here," Morgan grins, shaking Hotch's hand. Emily looks sheepish as she glances over at Strauss, who is downright fuming.

"How fast can you get us up to speed?" Hotch asks without another greeting.

Morgan scoffs. "How fast can you sit down?"

Strauss opens her mouth to say something, but Hotch beats her to it as he takes a seat next to you. You ignore the gesture. "We're only here to help."

She sighs. "We'll deal with this later."

With two more members back on the team, at least for the time being, the SUVs are split more evenly, and you join Emily, JJ, and Strauss in the first one as you head to the crime scene. Strauss is the first one to walk up to the scene, but the moment she sees the mangled body, she breaks down, her face contorting into a sob that she tries and fails to hold in.

You make a move to go and help her, but you're surprised when Hotch is the first to step in. "If you need a second, take a second. This is what it is. Just don't let the public see you break down."

He's so kind to her, even though she's the reason for all of his professional stress. You suppose she's not the only reason, but that isn't something you get to have an opinion on.

The devolution of the dump sites leads to an update of the profile, which gets you an address for a young boy who left school early with the nurse on duty. It doesn't take long to get to the house, and Derek and JJ coordinate some of the local police and SWAT as you strap on your kevlar vests.

After an initial argument about the probable cause of entering a house you don't know is dangerous, Emily pipes up with an idea. "Let me go in alone."

"Wait..." you start but she steamrolls over you, clearly needing to compensate for not being here before. "The boy's in the family room. He's looking for female authority figures. If he lets me in, I can signal as soon as I see anything that gives us cause."

"Technically, you're not even in the FBI," Reid points out.

She nods. "All the better."

Strauss steps in with a frown, to no one's surprise. "She's interfering with a federal investigation."

"Well, if I'm no longer in the FBI, then you have no authority over me." Emily shrugs and turns to Hotch for the approval she actually wants. "I'm just a civilian knocking on a little boy's door."

He nods and she pulls her hair back into a ponytail. Derek hands her his gun, and you suddenly remember that Hotch doesn't have his gun either. Reaching into your other side holster, you pull out your second firearm and hand it to him without a word. He doesn't lift his hand at first, but then he nods at you and takes the gun, his eyes filled with an earnest gratitude, and you know you've forgiven him.

Once she goes inside, you all wait in silence for the signal to breach the home. It takes almost too long, but eventually your earpieces fill with a loud beeping, and Derek yells "Go!"

You find her in a back room, where she's on the floor, her forehead bleeding from a thick gash. You enter just in time to see Hotch leap forward and take Emily's weapon from the little boy, before lifting him up and carrying him out of the house.

"I can't officially approve of how that transpired," Strauss says when you all come outside. You sit next to Emily and squeeze her hand as the paramedics patch up her forehead.

Hotch shakes his head, clearly done with the bureau politics. "The arrest was clean. It would be a mistake to break up this team."

She looks at him pointedly. "None of you will ever move up the chain of command, you know that."

"Why would I ever want to leave the BAU?"

You almost believe him. It's not that you don't think he wants to stay. You know he does. You just also know how much his family means to him, and how thin Haley's patience has worn.

Morgan asks if he means it, and he gives a vague answer that you expect, before turning to look at you.

"Here." He reaches into his waistband and pulls out your gun. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

His hand brushes yours when you take it back, and the warmth of his skin makes you shiver against the slight breeze. "You're welcome."

***

When he gets home, the lights are off.

"Haley?" he calls out into the empty silence. He tries to convince himself that he didn't see this coming, but after her last words to him before he left, it's a futile exercise.

"Make sure to give your son a kiss before you leave."

He left, even when she begged him not to. Now his wife has left, and she took their son with her, and once again, he is utterly alone.

***

Gideon's resignation comes through and you find yourself missing him more than you thought you would. If Hotch is the backbone of the team, he was the stoic foundation. He formed the roots of the BAU as a unit altogether, and you owe your life's work to his intelligence and foresight. But more than that, you can't help but remember the fact that out of all the members on the team, Gideon knew Jeff the best.

He attended countless lectures about past unsubs that Gideon put on at the academy, because he believed understanding why people do things was just as important as knowing how or what they were doing. He even went to Gideon's home for the occasional dinner, and he brought you along once after you got married.

You're not sure what the team will look like without his guiding hand, but you don't have to wait long to find out when JJ calls you with the notice that you're going to Portland.

Spencer is reading a piece of paper over and over again when you get to the office, and when you peek over his shoulder, you see the familiar scrawl of Gideon's handwriting.

Taking a deep breath, you reach forward to put your hand on his shoulder for a moment of comfort, but think better of it and pull back at the last second. Derek sees your indecision and cocks his head towards him.

You walk over to his desk and perch on its edge with a sigh. "I can't believe he would leave just like that."

"I can," Morgan shrugs, his eyes hard with contempt. When you shoot him a look, he softens. "I just mean that he's been showing signs of withdrawal for a while now. It still sucks for the kid, though."

You both look up at Reid across the aisle, where he is still scanning the letter. "At least he got a letter." You try to bring humor into your tone, but it doesn't work.

"It's not about us," Derek says gently, in a show of empathy for the older agent that is unfamiliar coming from him. "He did what he had to do to keep himself sane. We just have to let him."

You nod, just as JJ emerges from the hallway with Hotch on her heels. "We're starting the briefing."

***

"You must be the BAU."

A handsome man with a thick East Coast accent comes forward to introduce himself when you all enter the Portland field office. "Special Agent Bill Calvert."

"Hi, Jennifer Jareau," JJ smiles, extending her hand. "This is SSA Aaron Hotchner. This is Dr. Reid and Agents Morgan, Prentiss and L/N."

He smiles at each of you but his eyes linger on yours for a moment before he takes JJ's hand. "I appreciate your help on this case."

"You're from Boston?" you ask, trying to place his accent after having heard nothing like it since you landed. 

"The accent's kind of hard to miss in Oregon, right?" he grins, before reaching his hand out to you. "Agent L/N, was it?"

You shake his hand, shooting him a thin smile. You can already see Emily and JJ's smirks behind your back.

"We'd like to take a look around Jenny Wittman's apartment," Hotch steps in, moving forward to stand beside you.

Calvert nods. "I'd take you myself, but I'm waiting to meet her family, so I'll have another agent drive you."

"Thank you." Hotch rushes off with Reid and Morgan, and you stay back with JJ and Prentiss to work the victimology.

"Can we set up in here?" you ask Calvert as you start moving the boxes of case files and evidence onto the conference room table.

"Of course," he says, before leaving the three of you alone.

The first ten minutes of looking through the evidence is silent, and for a second, you nearly let yourself believe the other women won't bring up the elephant in the room, but then JJ lets out an involuntary giggle and they pounce.

"He's definitely into you," she says, making no effort to hide her gaze as she unabashedly stares at Calvert through the window. You want to retort immediately, but after seeing her check her phone about a dozen more times a day than she usually does, you suspect she may actually know what she's talking about when it comes to love these days.

Emily nods, biting her lip. "He couldn't stop looking at you."

"You're profilers," you argue, tossing the file in your hand onto the table. "You notice all kinds of insignificant stuff."

"So are you," JJ points out. "What do you think, then?"

They have you boxed in, and you can't think of any answer that would sufficiently appease them so you just groan.

"She's into it, too," JJ grins at Emily, who replies with, "I can't believe Y/N's gonna date someone from Portland."

Without thinking, you huff. "He's from Boston." All three pairs of eyes widen as you realize your slip in not denying her statement.

Emily laughs. "Ohh, it's so happening!"

***

When the men return from Jenny Wittman's apartment, Hotch instructs JJ to televise a statement warning possible future victims who fit the unsub's victimology. When Emily and Derek later find an ad hung up in a local laundromat that suggests he's been killing for longer than you'd previously thought, you decide to head back to the trail where the first bodies were found.

When you arrive on the scene, a dozen new bodies have been found further down the trail and near the water.

"How did we miss this before?" you think out loud, not realizing that Calvert has come up behind you.

"The trail's 40 miles long."

You jump when you hear his voice, and he apologizes after a small chuckle. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"Special Agent Calvert," you say, your voice slightly airy as you catch your breath. "No need to apologize."

"Okay," he smiles, turning to stand in front of you, "and you can call me Bill."

He's a good looking man, and you don't dislike the feeling of someone showing interest in you, especially as clearly intelligent and qualified as him.

"Sure," you say, returning the smile. "I'm Y/N, btw."

"That's a pretty name," he says, his eyes glinting with mischievousness, before he turns back to the scene before you. "They dug up eight new graves before you got here."

You frown. "So the unsub didn't stick to the pattern."

"Guy had a busy year."

You nod, pondering what this change in M.O. could mean, when Bill interrupts your thoughts. "I'm interested to hear more about how this profiling thing goes."

You give him a quizzical smile, and his lips quirk up. "I took a class in criminal psychology in college, but I don't remember enough to be useful in this area."

"We observe human behavior," you explain, ignoring the subtle smirk Emily is flashing you from behind his back. "Profiling is about making connections and predicting future actions based on history, victimology, and behavior."

He takes a moment to digest your words before huffing out a laugh. "Sounds to me like we called in the right team."

When another agent comes by to ask him about the crime scene procedure, you take your leave and walk up the hill of mulch by the open graves. You are nearly to the SUV when you spot Morgan beelining towards you.

"Not you too," you sigh, rolling your eyes dramatically as you stalk away from him.

He catches up to you easily and throws an arm over your shoulders with a grin. "I'm not gonna give you the giggly girl talk that JJ and Prentiss clearly have covered. I just wanted to say one thing."

You look at him expectantly and he brings you both to a stop by the cars. "You're a catch, L/N." You start to roll your eyes again, but he shakes his head. "You are, so if you want to have a little no-strings-fun, then I'll have your back through and through."

You have no idea what no-strings-fun would look like, but you glance back at Bill, who is speaking animatedly with another agent about the change in digging patterns of the graves.

"I don't know what I want," you admit as Derek drops his arm and turns to face you.

"That's okay," he says, before the corner of his mouth quirks up into a smirk. "But figuring that out can be just as much fun too."

***

He would be lying if he said he hasn't noticed you talking to the Special Agent on the case. Calvert, he remembers as he thinks back to the capture and subsequent suicide of the unsub from the roof of his old therapist office.

They were able to find the final victim before she died, so even with the unsub's death, the case feels like a victory, and the whole team looks light on the way back to the jet.

He has been trying to keep himself light too, but every time he gets a moment to himself, his mind reverts back to the silent darkness of his home after he returned from the last case. The reminder that he hasn't seen Haley or Jack in days.

When he reaches the tarmac, he spots you talking to Calvert again, but the conversation looks different than before. The special agent looks nervous, and he tries to gauge whether you seem comfortable, before realizing how relaxed you look.

When he gets closer, he catches the end of a question that likely started with "Can I have your number?" You smile at the man, and he turns away, trying not to eavesdrop.

He can't tell what he wants you to say. He knows it's been enough time since Jeff's death that real dating isn't out of the question, but he can't reconcile the protective instinct flickering in his gut.

Regardless of the distance he tried putting between you and himself, your voice carries over the tarmac, and he hears you say, "I'm sorry." before the rest of the sentence gets jumbled in the breeze. Something that feels alarmingly like relief settles in his chest and he frowns at the foreign feeling of it coursing through his veins.

He boards the plane and purposefully chooses a seat with an empty spot next to it, knowing you'll choose to sit beside him after he practically ignored you all day. He really wasn't trying to shut you out, he just doesn't know how to broach the topic of separation with anyone, let alone someone who had as stable a marriage as you did.

When you board the jet and take your seat next to him, he glances over at you sheepishly and murmurs, "I overheard the end."

He's surprised when you laugh lightly. "It's okay. Everyone was going to find out soon enough, especially with how excited Prentiss and JJ were about it."

He nods, glad that you aren't angry about his invasion of your privacy. Then, before he can stop himself, he looks at you and asks, "You didn't want to see him again?"

"I don't think I'm looking to just date for dating's sake anymore," you explain, your eyes flitting around the cabin at the sleeping forms of the rest of the team. "I had a true love...I don't want to settle down again for anything less."

He understands that completely, but he can tell there's something else bothering you, and not just because of the rhythmic bouncing of your knee that you don't seemed to have noticed. "What else?"

You shrug, not meeting his eye. "I used to have my usual excuse, but I can't really say it's too soon anymore, can I?"

He frowns as he notices the visible strain on you that this burden has caused. "You get to decide that for yourself."

"I know," you sigh, rubbing your eye with a loose fist. "I just worry sometimes that I use Jeff as an excuse to keep myself closed off." Your knee stills, and Hotch scoots closer, even with the armrest in the way.

"You don't seem closed off to me."

Your eyes crinkle with laughter. "I'm not sure if that means much coming from you. You're not exactly the picture of openness, Hotch."

He knows you're mostly joking, but your read punches him in the gut in a way he doesn't expect. You must see the shock on his face, because you immediately lean in closer. "What is it?"

He shakes his head, trying to delay for as long as he can. If he doesn't say it out loud, maybe he can pretend that he's still a happily married man. That he didn't fail his wife and son by being as absent as he had wished his father had been, early in his life.

"It's not about Gideon leaving, is it?" You scrutinize him for a moment before shaking your head. "No. Hotch, what's the matter?"

"We agreed not to profile each other," he sighs, gritting his teeth against the pain of having to vocalize one of the lowest moments in his life.

"Aaron," you whisper. Your voice is soft and gentle, and he breaks.

"Haley left."

Your mouth parts in surprise, and he looks down at his lap, taking a deep breath. "And I don't know if she's coming back."

***

You've been waiting in the arrivals lot of the airport for almost an hour. You're assuming his flight got delayed, and you're grateful for the time to get yourself ready to see him, but the wait hasn't made your jitters any better.

You haven't seen Hotch since you left for college last year, and with his pre-law internship that he somehow snagged as a first year, it was a lonely summer.

When he called you last week with profuse apologies for not staying more in touch and a somber tone that had to be about more than his regrettable phone habits, you had told him that you would love to see him, but your winter break doesn't start for another month. After a few hushed breaths and a second of thinking, he told you that he had bought a plane ticket out to California for the following weekend.

That's why it's Friday afternoon, and you're still waiting for his familiar mop of dark hair to appear through the exit doors. A boy walks out right then, with the same raven hair and fit stature, and your heart rate hastens for a split second, before you realize it's not him.

You look down at your car's radio and twist the dial to change the station. It's been playing the same Madonna song nonstop, and you shut off the volume when the other stations are no different. Your shift in focus takes your attention away from the airport exit, so you jump in your seat when a quiet knock sounds at your passenger side window.

He's here. Your lips curve up into a bright smile and you unlock the door, letting him get in.

"Hi," you say, your voice weaker than you'd like.

"Hey, Y//N," he replies, pushing his long hair back from his face. The simple motion sets off butterflies in your stomach and you turn back to your steering wheel to keep your emotions off your face. He could always read you so easily. "It's good to see you."

He grins at you and leans forward to give you a quick, awkward hug over the center console. You involuntarily inhale as he pulls back, and the scent of his natural musk mixed with whatever new cologne he's been wearing smells dreamy on him.

You said you were over it, you tell yourself in your head. He has a girlfriend who he's going to marry, and you are his best friend. At least you were.

You don't really know where things stand between you two now. A year is a long time to go without seeing someone, and you're sure college has changed him in similar ways that it has changed you.

"I have one more class today," you say quickly as you pull your car out of the lot. "It's criminal psychology, so I figured you wouldn't mind coming to the lecture with me."

"Sounds fun," he says, before leaning his cheek against the window to watch the scenery that zips by. "God, the weather here is crazy."

"It's definitely warmer than I'm used to," you agree, struggling not to glance over at him. "We never had 70 degree winters growing up."

"Which do you prefer?"

You grin. "Home, of course."

"Of course."

You look at him then, and his expression is one you don't understand. It's the same look he gets when he's in the library and he finds a book he's been looking for.

The drive doesn't take long, and you bring him to your lecture, where he proceeds to pay more attention to the information being presented than you do. The class usually feels too short for you, but today, the time ticks by, because you can't focus.

It's been so long since you've sat next to him in a class, and the sight of him jotting down notes on a scrap piece of paper takes you back to high school, when he was still the more attentive one.

After the lecture, you both grab a quick dinner in the dining hall and settle back into your double dorm room, which you painstakingly cleaned up before he arrived.

"So, how long have you guys been friends?" your roommate, Katy, asks him as he drops into your desk chair. You've been watching her ogle him since he arrived, and if he's still as perceptive as he was in high school, it hasn't escaped his notice either.

"Forever," he says, looking at you with a grin. "We met when we were eight. When she judged my taste in The Beatles, it was over for me."

You can't help the heat that flames in your cheeks, even though you know this story by heart. Katy keeps glancing over at you as he explains how you guys met, and eventually she gets up and flops down onto your bed next to you. "You're bringing him to the party tonight, right?"

Your eyes widen as you remember that was today. "Oh, I don't know. We might just stay in."

"You have to come!" she squeals, shaking your arm. She turns to him with a pointed look. "We already have outfits picked out."

"I guess we gotta go, then," he smiles at her, before looking at me with a small raise of his eyebrow. You okay with that?

You dip your chin into a nod, and he stands up. "I'll head out for a walk as you guys get ready."

"Sounds good!" Katy says, grabbing your hand and sliding off the bed. "We'll see you in an hour."

Once the door closes behind him, Katy turns to you, her mouth agape. "You never told me how cute he is."

"What?" you sputter, your cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

"You also didn't tell me you're, like, in love with him."

You scoff involuntarily, your usual diversion technique when someone brings up a topic you want to evade. "What are you talking about?"

"Okay," she shrugs, reaching into your closet and tossing you the dress you were planning to wear. "If that's how you want to play it."

You go into your attached bathroom to change into your outfit, but after seeing Hotch, the mini sundress you picked out feels like too much. You hate how much you're overthinking something as stupid as an outfit for a party.

You turn away from the mirror and go back into your dorm, where Katy is applying her signature shade of red lipstick in her little mirror stand.

"He has a serious girlfriend," you whisper, almost too quiet for her to hear you. But she is more perceptive than you give her credit for. "Like eventual marriage-serious."

"Oh, honey," she coos, patting the bench seat next to her. You scoot in until you're side by side and she wraps an arm around your shoulders. "I'm sorry I brought it up."

"It's okay," you shake your head, leaning on her shoulder. "I just need to get over it. It's a stupid crush that I've had since high school, but it's time. Maybe this party will help."

"Yes, exactly!" she grins, turning her head to look at you. "Nothing that a little music and a few shots can't fix."

"A few shots?" you laugh.

She nods. "Each."

~

You down another shot of whiskey before tossing your cup onto the table and following Katy onto the dance floor. She grinds against her boyfriend as you dance beside them, moving your hips side to side with the rhythm of the music.

Being in Los Angeles, the temperature outside is already warmer than it should be in November, but inside the house, your dress is sticking to your skin from the sweat and body heat surrounding you.

You're feeling the alcohol enough to have a good time even in the sweaty throng of bodies around you, and you throw your head back as you close your eyes and feel the thump of the music vibrating the floor boards.

Meanwhile, Hotch can't find you anywhere. He's drunk enough already that he knows he won't be able to find you himself, but he doesn't know anyone else here, so he grabs a half empty bottle from the drinks table and makes his way to the dance floor, where the life of the party seems to be centered.

He's usually a lot more fun at parties, but lately he hasn't felt like himself. Ever since you left for school across the country, it has felt like something in his life was wrong, like he was missing a limb. Then, things started looking up with Haley, and he pushed you away in the hopes that he would forget about any of the doubts he had, but it didn't work. The more he missed you, the worse things got in his relationship, and suddenly he wasn't sure what his life was supposed to look like anymore.

He takes another swig from the bottle and leans back against the counter as he watches people dance against each other in the dim light of the house. His eyes flicker over the mess of bodies until they catch on someone he almost doesn't recognize.

Your eyes are closed and your hands are in the air as you move to the beat. It's not exactly graceful music, but you have managed to find some semblance of a rhythm as you slide your hands down your thin dress, which is sticking to your body in a way he can't take his eyes off of.

He doesn't realize he has lifted the bottle to his lips again until the liquid is burning his throat, and he tears his eyes away from you as his head starts to spin. Maybe he's had enough for tonight. He puts the bottle down just as your roommate spots him. Katy, he thinks, or is it Sadie?

"Aaron!" she calls, stumbling over to him as a man holds her up with an arm around her waist. "Where's Y/N?"

"Not sure," he lies easily, barely conscious of the way his words have started to slur together. "I may head out soon."

"Don't leave without her," she instructs, her voice suddenly getting serious. "I'm staying with him tonight." She pats the man's arm. "So I won't be going back with her."

He nods with a resigned sigh, and slumps down on a couch in the next room, leaning his head back to stop the room from spinning.

~

When you tire of dancing, you push to the back of the crowd and look around to find any familiar face. You can't see Katy or her boyfriend anywhere, but after exiting the room, you spot Hotch asleep on the couch.

You walk forward with a slanted smile and put your hand on his shoulder to shake him awake. "Hotch, get up."

He groans, peeling his eyes open slowly. "I'm awake. Just resting my eyes."

"Yeah, yeah," you tease, looping your arm through his to help him up. "How much did you drink?"

He shrugs and you wrap your arm around his waist to hold him upright as he stumbles forward. "Whoa there. Okay, let's get you back."

You manage to get him out of the house, and once the fresh air hits, he can almost stand up straight on his own. You keep your arm around him just in case, trying to ignore the way his tee shirt is slowly riding up around his waistband.

You make the walk back in silence, and he falls back onto your bed as you lock the door behind you.

"I'm sorry," he whispers when you perch on the edge of the bed next to him.

"It's okay," you say, huffing out a laugh. He looks so young with his hair falling onto his face, and you resist the urge to push it back off his forehead. "Happens to the best of us."

"No, not that." He rolls over with a groan, flopping onto his back and scooting back so he can lay on your pillow. "I'm sorry I stopped calling."

Your heart skips a beat and you tuck your hair behind your ear, needing to occupy your hands somehow as your mind races with a million questions. "It's my fault too."

"No, it's not."

He isn't slurring his words anymore, but you can still hear the earnestness that only comes when one's filter is completely shattered. He was never one to hide things from you, but you also know how truthful people can get when alcohol takes their mask away.

"Haley and I have been having problems for a while," he mutters, making you sigh. So that's why he flew here in the middle of the school year. "We haven't been seeing eye to eye on a lot of things, and we decided to take a break, but I haven't told anyone, because the only person I wanted to tell was you."

You can't look at him. His gaze is too much, his eyes too full of truth and intensity. "Hotch-"

"I miss you so much," he says, cutting you off. "You're the only person I've ever really been able to talk to, but you know that, don't you? It's the same for you, it has to be."

You don't say anything. The air feels thick with tension, and you're afraid that if you say something, the room will explode.

"She's the perfect girlfriend," he says wistfully, his voice tight with an emotion you can't decipher. "I know it's me who's fucking it up, and I hate myself for it, because she's trying so hard to make this work. But every time it feels perfect, and I think I've finally gotten what I wanted, I just remember-"

"Aaron."

You look at him and his eyes are already staring into yours. You have wanted him to love you the way you loved him for years, but not like this. Never like this.

"You can't fuck this up," you whisper, your voice stronger than you expect it to be. "Call Haley tomorrow morning. Tell her you're sorry, and that you love her, because you do. You know you do."

"I love her," he nods as sleep pulls his eyelids down. "Tomorrow..I'll call her."

You watch him as his limbs relax and his breathing evens out, but you don't fall asleep until the sun starts to rise and you physically can't keep your eyes open anymore.

***

"Happy All Hallow's Eve, folks."

Reid pulls his mask off as Derek looks at him with a frightened frown.

"Are you scared of Halloween?" you ask him, trying to keep the grin off your face.

"I didn't say I was scared," he corrects, glancing over at Reid, who drops his mask on his desk and pushes his hair back from his face, "I said I was creeped out."

"What creeps you out about it?" Emily asks, before grinning at you.

"I bet it's the candy," you joke. "Those muscles probably cower at the sight of anything that isn't meat or protein powder."

Emily snorts and Derek frowns at both of you. "It's the masks. I don't like people in disguises."

"That's the best thing about Halloween," Reid chimes in. "You can be anyone you want to be."

Derek grins. "No, I'm pretty good just being me."

You and Emily share a look. "Yeah, why is it that neither of those points of view surprise me?"

"Guys," Reid suddenly calls out, his voice hushed. "He's here."

You turn around to see Hotch walking down the stairs, accompanied by Agent David Rossi, who you've heard a lot about in your years at the bureau. He was one of the founding members of the BAU, and you can't help but wonder what made him want to come back.

JJ introduces him to everyone, before Reid starts spouting off a list of facts from one of the old cases he solved when he was the chief of the unit.

"Reid, slow down," Hotch says with an uncharacteristic smile. "He'll be here for a while. Catch up with him later."

He nods. "Right, sorry."

Agent Rossi doesn't seem fazed. "No problem, Doctor."

This pleasantly surprises you. It's all too often that new people who meet Spencer don't immediately treat him with the respect he deserves.

"Let's start the briefing."

***

The flight back from Texas is hushed. The case went about as well as you could hope, with them catching the unsub and saving the final victim, but the way Rossi went rogue over and over again has rubbed you the wrong way.

You watch him across the cabin as he pores over his little notebook, and you wish you could peek inside his head. You know that the team aspect of the BAU is a newer addition to the unit, but you don't understand how he can keep all of his thoughts to himself.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Gah," you fright, jumping in your seat. "When did you sit next to me?"

Hotch shrugs, his lip quirking up. "A few minutes ago."

"Well, you should really wear a bell or something, god."

"Y/N," he says, giving you a pointed look. He doesn't let you use your evasion tactics anymore. Given your penchant for aimless talking, you suppose that's a good thing.

"I was just thinking about Rossi," you sigh, glancing up at him again. "Lying to the press to get a reaction from the unsub? Taking over that phone call? I don't like how he works, Hotch."

"He's from a different time," he says, even though you can hear the agreement in his voice, "but he worked with Gideon, and if you remember, it took you a while to warm up to him too."

You heave out a breath but it's the only concession you're willing to give in this moment.

"He's used to an older way of doing things, but he's a great agent."

"He clearly has good ideas," you whisper, "but I just worry that you'll have to work over time to keep him under control."

Hotch ponders this, and you think that maybe he knows you're right. Your eyes shift up and you realize his hair has been shorter for a while now, but you're still not used to seeing so much of his forehead. Not that there's anything wrong with his forehead. It's a fine forehead.

"He was the team leader before he retired," Hotch says suddenly. "He may be tough as a subordinate now, but I'm still glad he's back. We needed someone to fill Gideon's spot, we were low on hands."

"Speaking of, why do you think he's back."

He looks at you with a quizzical frown. "Is it really so hard to believe that he may just want to help us out?"

You think for a second, before shrugging. He laughs.

"I don't know," you concede, with a small chuckle. "I think I'm just expecting things from him that aren't fair."

He turns his body to face you. "Like what?"

You press your lips together, trying to formulate your words properly, so you can clearly articulate the tornado of thoughts in your brain. "I know Gideon wasn't a father figure exactly, but he was someone that Reid and Elle latched onto."

Hotch exhales. "I don't know if Gideon is someone I'd want as a father."

You let out a surprised laugh. "Fair enough."

"How is your father doing, by the way?"

You blink in surprise. It's not that he doesn't talk about your family, it's just that the timing is uncanny. You haven't spoken to him in months. After your mom died, you two were almost inseparable, but then you left for school, and you realized how much bigger the world could be when you weren't always bogged down by your grief. "I haven't called him in a while."

"What did he say after Golconda?" he asks, his voice gentle. After Frank, he means.

You close your eyes, guilt flooding your body. "I never told him."

"What?" You don't look at him, but you can see the shock in the stiff line of his posture. "Did something happen between you two?"

You shake your head, your protectiveness over your family flaring up at the concern in his eyes. "Nothing happened. I just didn't want to worry him."

"That's his job," Hotch stresses, scooting his leg over so his knee bumps yours. "If something like that had happened to Jack, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"That's what I'm scared of," you tell him, your eyes flitting over to the window, where the clouds are dancing across the horizon. Sometimes, when you're on the jet, you like to pretend that the time up here isn't real. That as long as the world looks like a series of splotches and blinking lights, nothing can really hurt you. "My mom's death nearly killed him. I learned to cook when I was ten, because he couldn't leave his room for a month." Hotch knows all of this already, but he lets you vocalize your thoughts, obviously knowing how badly you need reassurance for the guilt you're feeling. "Then, when Jeff died, I stayed with him for a few weeks to have some company, but...but.. I was so glad when I left, because then I could finally let myself fall apart."

He reaches under the armrest and clasps your hand in his, extending the comfort you didn't know you needed.

"I've never told anyone that," you whisper, feeling your voice tighten with tears. "I love my dad, I love him so much, but I just needed the chance to recover on my own."

"He loves you too," Hotch says, finally breaking his silence. "You know he loves you. I still remember the themed sandwich baggies that he packed your lunch with all through middle school."

You choke out a laugh. "You would always steal the Spiderman ones."

He smiles, squeezing your hand once. "Maybe you just need to give him another chance to be who you want him to be. He might just surprise you."

You know he's right. Somehow, he's always right.

You nod, flashing him a small smile, and lean your head on his shoulder as the clouds float past your window.

***

He glances at his watch for the tenth time since he sat down in his office. The plane landed just over an hour ago, and he sent you home immediately with the instruction to get some rest. He probably should have gone home too, but ever since he got his new apartment, home hasn't felt the same.

He used to be able to look around any corner and see a memory: the couch where he and Haley made love on their first night at home, the soft carpet where Jack took his first steps, the doorframe where he measured his height on his first birthday as Haley held him up by the arms. He also remembers that he wasn't there to see Jack's first steps; he was in Pittsburgh, working a case and thanking his lucky stars that Haley had had the foresight to take a photo as his son stood upright all by himself.

He lifts the picture frame from the edge of his desk, running his fingers over the cool glass and looking at the blue drawing underneath. Jack had drawn his favorite cartoon character and left it for him on the kitchen table, a few nights before his suspension went into effect.

Putting it back down, he looks at the photograph of him holding onto Haley as she clutches newborn Jack to her chest in the hospital. He still has the photo of just him and her on their wedding, but he pushed it to the back, behind the pictures of Jack, and the one of you and him at law school graduation.

A knock sounds at his door and he looks up to see Dave standing in his doorway. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," he says, waving him in. He doesn't sit down, so Hotch stands up too, unsure of how he feels about the power imbalance in the room. "What can I do for you?"

"You said out there, 'The team shares everything.'"

He nods. "That's right."

"There is no 'I'?"

He nods again, not liking where this may be going.

Dave glances down at his desk, where his phone sits next to the picture frame of his family. "Seems a big thing to withhold. Separating from your wife, your child."

He freezes, unconsciously looking at the door to see if anyone heard. "What are you talking about?"

"You used to call Haley 10 times a day," Dave says, his voice not unkind. "We've been together 48 hours and I haven't seen you call her once. You haven't mentioned her, and you're not going home now."

He frowns, feeling his brow settle into place like it's a uniform he wears whenever he's at the office. "What's your point?"

"I guess you're just not used to sharing."

He doesn't say anything, but Rossi seems to interpret this the wrong way. "Or maybe it's something else." He looks out the window at the empty bullpen, but the implication is still clear. "Was it because of...?"

"What?" He doesn't know where this is coming from, but he can't stop the anger that rumbles through him at the connotation. Unable to help it, he looks down at your desk, and Dave tuts.

"I won't say anything."

"Dave," he shakes his head, trying to remain calm. "You have it all wrong. She's my best friend...since we were children. It isn't like that. It was never-"

It was never like that. That's what he's about to say, but that wouldn't be true. Rossi is a good enough profiler that he would be able to spot a lie from a mile away, so he shuts his mouth and shakes his head again. "It's not like that."

"Okay," he accepts, lifting his hands in surrender. "My mistake."

Hotch nods, and Dave leaves his office, but he can't get their conversation out of his head until later that night when his head hits his pillow and his eyes finally fall shut.

***

"Hey, Dad."

You called him when you got home from work that night, and he answered on the second ring. "Hi, sweetheart."

"How are you?" you ask, clutching the phone to your ear as you sink down onto the couch in your living room.

He doesn't answer for a moment, and you can hear him taking a breath. "I'm good, Y/N, how are you? Is work going well?"

"It's good," you tell him. "Really good. We were able to save a woman today, before the unsub could kill her."

"Unsub?"

"Unknown subject," you explain, quickly realizing just how long it's been since you've spoken to him. "It's what we call the bad guy before we know who he is."

"Right," he says, and you can practically see him rubbing a hand over his face, his nervous tic. "I knew that. Anyway, how is everything in your life? Do you still work with Aaron?"

"Yeah, I do," you say with a laugh. "He was actually asking about you earlier today."

"That's nice of him," your dad says, his voice brightening slightly. "He was always a good friend to you."

You tell him about your most recent case, and about Gideon and Elle leaving the team, but eventually you can't evade the topic you've been trying to avoid all night.

You're okay, you think to yourself. Frank can't hurt you anymore.

"Dad," you whisper, closing your eyes as you take a deep breath. In 1, 2, 3. Out 1, 2, 3. "I have something to tell you."

Then you tell him everything, and he just listens, exactly like you hoped he would.

***

"I met this guy." You didn't even see Penelope approach you, but here she is, looking at you like she's about to say something dirty.

"Hell yeah," you grin, trying to match her energy. "Where?"

"A coffee shop," she smirks. "He was having trouble with his computer, so I fixed it for him, and then he asked for my number."

"Look at you," you joke, giving her a side squeeze, "putting your technical analyst skills to good use."

"Thank you," she huffs, throwing an annoyed glance over her shoulder. "That's more of the response I was looking for."

"What do you mean?"

"Derek," she says simply, and you nod, already knowing where she's going with this. You know they have an uncommon relationship, so you're not surprised that he didn't react exactly how she hoped he would.

"He's an idiot," you tell her, patting her arm.

She laughs. "You don't even know what he did."

"Uh, yeah," you say, turning around to face the bullpen, "I definitely do."

***

The case takes the team to Florida, where an unsub has been feeding women their fingers, killing them, and then carving pentagrams in their skin.

The pentagrams suggest a religious element, so you go with JJ, Morgan, and Rossi to the local church to meet with the priest.

"Rossi, do me a favor," Morgan says just before you walk inside. "You talk to the priest, all right?"

You remember his agitation on the jet when Reid prodded him about his beliefs, and given the cruelty of his childhood, a crisis of faith wouldn't surprise you.

"Hi, Father Marks," JJ greets the priest when you enter the church. She introduces all of you to him, before shaking his hand. "We're sorry we have to be here under these circumstances."

"It's good of you to come," he says, greeting all of you. "Abbey's parents are upstairs in my office."

"We'll go up," Rossi says with a nod, "but Agent Morgan actually has some questions for you."

Your eyes flash to Rossi, but he doesn't return your gaze.

"I have some questions too," you offer, and Derek nods gratefully.

The priest answers the few questions Derek spits out at him, and you watch as his eyes wander around the hall, his shoulders raised with tension. You insert a few of your own questions before heading outside with him to wait for JJ and Rossi to finish up with the victim's parents.

"What happened in there?" you ask when he doesn't meet your eye. "Being rude to Father Marks? That wasn't like you."

"You know what happened to me, L/N," he says angrily, kicking his foot out at a loose stone on the pavement. "I went to church everyday, and I prayed for it to stop, but you know what God did? Nothing."

"I know what a crisis of faith looks like, Derek." You stand in front of him, forcing him to look at you. "But Father Marks doesn't know your story. He's not judging you, he's just showing his faith how he knows best."

His shoulders are still tense as his jaw twitches. "Who does Rossi think he is, throwing me under the bus like that?"

"He's an instigator," you shrug, letting the topic slide for the time being. You'll talk to him again later if he still needs it.

"I didn't love the way Gideon did things either," Derek says, his posture going from agitation to annoyance, "but Rossi might just take the cake. Even if he is better with the victim's families."

"I can't help you there," you almost laugh. "I had the same conversation with Hotch after the case in Texas, and he managed to convince me to give the guy a chance. So...if you can't bring yourself to trust him, just think of it as putting your trust in Hotch."

Derek hums, bumping your shoulder with his. "I guess I can do that."

***

The search party for Tracey Lambert only leads to the unsub taking another woman, and suddenly the ticking clock gets a lot louder. By the time you find his lair and the bodies he has been cannibalizing for years, you're already struggling to keep down even the water you've been drinking. When he reveals where Tracey actually is, you feel so sick, you can't breathe.

When the jet lands back in Virginia, you go home immediately, desperately needing some peace and quiet away from the team for the first time in a while. But that doesn't last long.

You're awoken by the shrill ringing of your home phone. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you check the number and answer the phone. "Is this payback for the last time I called you past midnight?"

"Y/N...it's Garcia."

You shoot up into a sitting position as Hotch explains what happened. "How bad is it?"

"I don't know."

"I'm on my way."

You change into a sweater and a pair of loose jeans before grabbing your keys and flying out the door.

"She's in surgery," JJ tells you when you find them in the waiting room. She pulls you into a hug before returning to her hunched position in an uncomfortable vinyl chair.

"There's no other word," Hotch adds, giving you a quick hug as well. With his cheek pressed against your temple, he whispers, "Police think it may have been a botched robbery."

"Where's Morgan?" Emily asks, standing up from her chair.

"He's not answering his cell."

Reid nods, stepping away. "I'll call him again."

He squeezes your hand before he exits the waiting area, and you glance down at JJ again. Her eyes are red from crying, and her chin is pressed into her palm as she stares at the floor. You watch as Emily sits next to her and pats her hand, before clasping it in hers.

You don't realize you've been staring at the same spot on the floor until Hotch stands next to you and nudges your shoulder. You okay?

"I will be," you say out loud, barely registering that he didn't actually ask you anything. "As soon as she's out of surgery." When you got the call that Penelope was shot, you had been hit by an intense feeling of deja vu. Only this time, the call didn't come from bureau leadership, because she wasn't killed at the scene. Because she's going to make it.

He doesn't seem fazed as he checks his watch again, his frown lines deepening. "It shouldn't take this long to get an update."

"Where have you been?" Reid asks suddenly. You look up to see Derek walking into the waiting room, his eyes wide with panic.

"I was in church. My phone was off."

"There's nothing you could have been doing here," Rossi assures him, before nodding at Hotch and pulling him aside to discuss something with the deputies outside. You use the momentary lull to approach Derek, putting your hand on his arm as an initial test. When he doesn't jerk back, you pull him into a hug that he returns gratefully.

The doctor walks in a few minutes later and explains that Penelope will be fine, but she needs to rest until the morning.

"David and I will go to the scene," Hotch informs, his eyes fixing each of you with an empathetic look. "I think the rest of you should be here when she wakes up. I don't care about protocol. I don't care whether we're working this officially, or not. We don't touch any new cases until we find out who did this."

When they leave, you pull Derek down into the chair next to you and lean your head onto his shoulder. After a beat, he relaxes in his seat, and lets out a long sigh. "She's okay."

***

Early the next morning, the doctor shakes you all awake with the notice that Penelope's up, so you rush into her room, trying not to crowd her as she blinks awake.

"Hi," she says softly, her voice small. She looks so innocent, laying in her hospital bed with her blonde hair a halo around her head. You can't imagine how anyone would want to hurt someone like her.

"No tears," she smiles as you swallow down your anger. "I'm afraid if I start crying, I'll come unstapled."

JJ presses a kiss to her cheek, before Derek and Emily start gently plying her with the usual questions. When it comes out that the man who shot her was the same man who asked her out at the coffee shop, your anger turns to anguish, and you reach forward to squeeze Penelope's hand in an effort to comfort her.

"I just thought he liked me," she whispers, the pain in her voice breaking your heart.

"We need a name," Emily asks abruptly. You can see her mentally kicking herself at how serious her words came out, but you know Penelope understands the gravity of this situation.

"James Colby Baylor."

She asks you and JJ to stay back for a second as the rest of the team leaves to investigate Baylor.

"What's up, honey?" you ask, smiling at her sweetly as she uses her other hand to take JJ's.

"I feel so stupid," she sighs, her breath turning into a gasp as tears fill her eyes. "Maybe Derek was right about all of it."

"No," JJ says sternly, reaching forward to brush some of her hair behind her ear. "None of this is on you."

"What she said," you echo, nodding at JJ, "and don't listen to Morgan. He loves you, and he's very protective over you, but he's also a man."

She sniffles out a laugh, before pressing her lips together. "One last thing."

JJ blinks. "Anything."

"Please don't talk about me like I'm a victim."

***

The case wraps up back at the office, where Baylor, whose real name is Deputy Battle, was shot in the head by JJ, who doesn't seem as plussed by the situation as you would expect. You tried to talk to her afterwards, but after telling you she was fine, she put all of her attention on Penelope, who has spent the last week recovering at home.

Now, you're sitting in the break room stirring your black coffee, just for something to do. Hotch finds you in there and walks inside, shutting the door behind him.

"It's been a long week," he grumbles, looking longingly at the spot next to you on the worn couch.

You lift your cup and nod your head at the full coffee pot. "That's what caffeine's for."

"We really should sleep at some point," he says, filling up a paper cup and carefully dropping into the spot beside you. The couch you chose is small enough that his thigh presses against yours when he spreads his legs even the slightest bit.

You snort. "Sleep's overrated."

You both sip your steaming coffees in silence as you watch the other agents shuffle back and forth across the bullpen, unaware of your watchful eyes. The break room is the one place in the office to go for a little bit of privacy, but the unobstructed view of everyone's desks isn't unpleasant either. You imagine this is how Hotch feels when he looks out his office window.

Your eye catches on the stapled wood planks that are currently replacing the broken glass door that leads into the bullpen. He must be looking at the same thing, because he breaks the silence and says, "I think we may need to get JJ out into the field more."

His tone catches you off guard and you crack a small smile. "She does seem remarkably well-adjusted, given that it was her first time."

He nods, turning his head to look at you. "Do you remember your first time?" Killing someone, is the part he doesn't say out loud.

"Of course." You take a deep breath and gulp back more coffee. "He was a serial rapist in Texas. One shot to the heart. I wasn't trying to kill him, he just ran at the last second."

"Serial killer in Florida," he responds simply. "Headshot. He died instantly."

"That was your first year at the BAU, right?" He nods and you sink back into the cushions. "I wasn't even in the field then."

He hums, a low sound that you feel as vibrations on your skin. "I worry that I brought you in here too early. Jeff had just died, and I assumed that getting you out of the house and in the field would take your mind off of things, but I wonder sometimes if I made the wrong call."

"You didn't," you assure him, turning your body to face his, even as he doesn't meet your eye. "First of all, you brought me in six months after he died, and by then, I definitely needed an excuse to leave my bedroom."

He sighs, a small concession, and you continue. "The first case I went into the field for after he died, I could barely hold my gun. Every time I pulled it on someone, I would imagine his body...with all of those bullet holes...and I would just freeze up. It took me months to pass my firearm certification again, but I still don't regret it."

"You sure?" he asks, his voice almost timid.

"Positive," you smile, nudging your thigh against his. "Besides, I didn't realize it until later, but it wasn't getting out into the field that helped me through my grief...it was meeting the team. These people became my family in the moment that I needed one most."

You turn back to your coffee and sip it again, though it's no longer as hot as you'd like it to be.

"How are you doing, by the way?" he asks suddenly. "With Garcia, I mean."

An involuntary shudder runs through you as you remember her pale face in her hospital bed last week, but the warmth of the coffee cup in your hands makes it pass quickly. "I'll never get used to it. But she's okay now, so hopefully it'll be easier this time."

***

You're jotting down notes in the margins of a new case file JJ asked you to look over when your cell phone rings. Hotch and Reid are at a nearby prison, interviewing a serial killer on death row for the Criminal Personality Research Project, so you're not expecting a call from either of them. The rest of the team, except for Rossi, is scattered around the bullpen, but you don't expect him to call you either.

After finishing the line you were writing, you check your phone and see a name you haven't spoken to in weeks.

"Haley," you answer after clicking open your cell. "Is everything okay?"

"I know you're busy," she sighs, her voice tight with what you can only decipher as irritation, "but I didn't know who else to call. Aaron hasn't been answering my phone calls."

You get up from your desk and step out into the hallway to get some privacy. "He and Dr. Reid are at a prison right now, interviewing a criminal for this research project. There likely isn't any cell service out there."

"It's not just today, Y/N," she says, her tone getting colder as she inadvertently directs her anger towards the only person she can get ahold of. "He hasn't been taking my calls for days."

"I can talk to him," you suggest, trying to keep your tone light in an effort to keep this conversation from derailing. "I'll tell him to give you a call."

"I appreciate that," she sighs, losing her steam. "I'm sorry for involving you, I just really need to speak with him about something."

"Is everything alright with you and Jack?" you ask her quickly, wanting to make sure that you aren't making the wrong assumptions about why she's calling.

"Oh!" she inhales sharply. "Yes, of course, we're doing great. Well, great maybe isn't the right word, I didn't mean- I just-" She sighs. "You know what I mean."

"I do," you assure her as your heart twists at the sound of her shallow breathing. You know how hard the separation has been on Hotch, but you know Haley too, and she has always been better at hiding her pain that she seems. "Where have you been staying?"

"With Jess," she says, her voice brightening considerably at the mention of her sister. "She's been a godsend. I feel terrible taking up so much of her space, but she doesn't seem to mind."

You smile, remembering the few times you met Jessica Brooks while Haley and Hotch were together. "She definitely doesn't mind. She always loved children. I bet she's already scheming on how to steal Jack from you."

Haley laughs, and the sound is like wind chimes twinkling in your ear. "She totally is."

Her laughter slowly fades, and you both stay on the line for a few moments in comfortable silence.

"I'll tell him to call you," you promise.

"I know," she sighs. "Thank you."

***

The prison was a bust, but Reid got a chance to use his intelligence to get them out of a tough spot without anyone getting hurt, so the day wasn't a total loss.

He is sitting in his office, drafting an email to the project coordinator, when you walk inside and take a seat in front of his desk.

"Thanks for knocking," he says sarcastically before finishing up the sentence he was working on. Once it's done, he saves the draft and turns off his computer. "How was Indianapolis?"

"Good," you say, leaning back in the chair. "Great, actually. Rossi got to close up the case that's been haunting him for a decade, and the three kids are finally safe."

"I'm surprised he wasn't more excited when he got back," he notes, watching your body language. You look wired, but not about this. Something else is bothering you.

"The unsub wasn't exactly the most gratifying arrest," you sigh, rubbing a hand over your temple. "We don't even think he committed the murders intentionally."

He frowns, shaking his head. "Those are the worst kind."

You're silent for a moment before you sit up straighter and look at him. "Haley called me this morning. While you were at the prison."

"Oh?" Something that feels like ice slithers down his spine even though he can probably guess exactly how the conversation went.

All week, he has felt an enormous weight on his chest in the form of a stack of divorce papers that Haley served him with. She had called him right after, with the explanation that they both should have seen this coming, but he really hadn't. He was a profiler, whose entire job was to notice and analyze human behavior, and he truly hadn't been able to let himself believe that this could be a possibility. That his marriage could actually be over.

"She said you've been ignoring her calls."

He had been ignoring them. He knew she would just tell him to sign the papers, and he couldn't bear to hear her say it again. Once was enough.

He reaches into his desk and pulls out the manila folder that he hasn't opened since his initial read-through. He suspects you already know what he's about to tell you, but he also knows that it won't feel real until he says it out loud. And it's about time he came to terms with what his life would be from now on. "Haley wants me to sign the divorce papers, uncontested."

"She doesn't want to involve a lawyer?" you ask, your voice delicate as you walk him through the explanation with clarifying questions. It's the technique they use when interviewing the families of victims, to help them feel comfortable as they talk about the hardest thing they've ever gone through. He's surprised at how reassuring it feels coming from you.

He shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair. It has grown out a bit since he last cut it, but he doesn't think he minds. Haley wanted him to cut it short when Jack was in his grabbing and teething phase, but now, he likes how he can push it back when he wants. "I don't want to sign, of course, but she's adamant that we get this done soon."

"You'll be okay," you say, and he looks up in surprise. "You're a good man, Aaron."

"I'm not," he whispers, heaving out a sigh. "I'm not doing anything right. At home, I was an awful husband and an absent father, and at work, Strauss would replace me if she had even the slightest bit more ammunition. I can't focus in either place. Maybe Haley's right, maybe I'm just selfish."

You lean forward and grab his hand, even as he doesn't look at you. "You're not selfish. You're the farthest thing from selfish. You don't want to sign, but you will. You're giving her what she wants, even though it's the last thing you want."

He nods, but his heart isn't in it. He glances down at the folder again and takes a deep breath as you give him a small smile and stand up.

"I'll see you tomorrow, boss?"

He nods again. "See you tomorrow."

When the door shuts behind you, he flips open the folder, faster than he meant to, but he's afraid if he doesn't do this quickly he'll lose his nerve. Grabbing a random pen from the mug on his desk, he uncaps it and scrawls out his initials on all of the earmarked lines throughout the stack.

When he finishes the last page, he shuts the folder and leans back in his chair, letting out a long exhale. He did it. He supposes he should feel some sort of severing away of his old life, maybe an audible snap as the ties to his marriage get cut, but there's just silence.

His office suddenly feels stifling, and he loosens his tie before reaching forward and lifting the picture frame with him and Haley on their wedding day. Her smile still looks beautiful to him, and his content expression as he gazes at her doesn't make him feel anything different. Their marriage may be over, but he still loved her.

He runs his thumb over the smooth edge of the frame, and then opens his desk drawer, before sticking it inside and pushing it closed.

***

"Thank you for watching him," Hotch says, his voice slightly muffled over the phone.

"Of course," you smile, sitting down on your couch with the pasta you made for dinner. "It was my pleasure. Jack's a total sweetheart."

Jess was out of town for a couple of days, so he had asked you to watch Jack while he and Haley met up to finalize the divorce in front of an attorney. She had been adamant about finishing the process over the phone, but he wanted to ensure that she and Jack would be taken care of after the papers went through.

"Did he eat lunch?"

"Kind of," you say, quickly swallowing the bite you took. "He didn't want a full meal, but I got him to eat some fruit and bread with cheese."

"I'll make him a snack soon," he says quietly, but you can tell he's just thinking out loud. "Alright, I'll see you at the office. Thanks again."

"Always," you tell him, genuinely. "See you."

The phone clicks off and you scarf down the rest of your pasta before doing your dirty dishes and cleaning up your kitchen. You're considering whether to change into your workout clothes so you can crank out a few miles on your Peloton, but then you hear a knock on your door.

You're not expecting anyone, and with Hotch watching Jack, it can't be him. You peek around the corner into your foyer to see who's at the door, and relax when you spot a familiar mop of brown hair.

"I'm sorry I didn't call first," Spencer says when you open the door, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of his book bag. "I just didn't know how to ask you this over the phone."

"Spence, what is it?" you ask, opening the door further to let him in. He doesn't step forward, and a pinprick of anxiety enters your system.

"If I come inside, I won't be able to do this," he says vaguely, before reaching into his bag and pulling out a flyer. He hands it to you and you read the title, the tension seeping from your body as the words sink in: Narcotics Anonymous for Law Enforcement.

"I know it's a lot to ask," he whispers, "but would you drive me to the meeting tonight?"

Your heart feels like it's about to crack open. Only a boy who was never looked after, never given the love and care he deserved, would think that something like this was too much to ask.

"It's not too much," you tell him, glancing down at the address. "I'll get my keys."

When he's settled in your passenger seat, you pull out of the driveway, not commenting on the fact that his car is parked on the street beside your sidewalk. You understand the need for company more than most people.

The drive to the rec center where the meeting is being held is mostly silent, but you don't press him. He stares down at his hands for most of the ride, and when you stop in front of the entrance, he unbuckles his seatbelt and turns to you. "Thank you."

"Of course," you smile. "I can wait, if you'd like."

He gives you a thin-lipped smile. "It's okay."

"You sure?"

He presses his lips together and looks at you, his eyes reflecting the question in yours.

"Go on," you say, patting his arm. "I'll be here."

He nods and steps out of your car, and you pull into a parking space to wait in while he's in the meeting. You turn on the radio and it's the same song they've been playing for the last week, so you turn the volume down low and close your eyes for a few peaceful moments.

You must have fallen asleep, because you're jarred awake by the chirping sound of your cell phone ringing. It's a bureau number, so you clear your throat and answer the call. "L/N."

"Hey, Y/N." It's JJ, and she sounds tired. "We have a case. It's urgent, so we're flying to Texas tonight."

You sigh louder than you meant to. "I can be there in 20."

"See you soon."

The line clicks off and you rub the sleep from your eyes. A quick check of your watch tells you that you were only asleep for about a half hour, but that's just half of the meeting time. You know Spencer will come back when he gets the call, so you turn the radio off and sit up in your seat.

A few minutes later, he returns to the car. You saw him just over 30 minutes ago, but he already looks lighter than he did when he got to your house.

"I'm proud of you, Spence," you tell him as you start the car.

He nods, a quick thanks. "This federal agent gave me his one year medallion after I left the meeting. I've only been clean for 10 months, but he still gave it to me."

"He believes in you," you say simply, glancing over at his confused expression.

"He doesn't even know me."

You shrug. "You don't have to really know someone to care about them, Spencer. You just have to see something of yourself in them."

"Is that what you see in me?" he asks, finally looking at you.

You consider this for a moment. Is that why you feel so protective over him?

"I don't know," you say eventually, not wanting to lie, even by accident. "I definitely wasn't as smart as you were, or as focused. I wasn't all that driven in high school at all, to be honest. I was lucky to have Hotch. He gave me the push I needed to get out there and focus on school."

He's silent for a minute and you worry you may have said something wrong. Then: "I didn't have anyone in school." He pauses for a beat, before speaking again, his voice quieter this time. "I was in the library one day, and this girl comes up to me, and she tells me that Alexa Isben wants to meet me behind the field house. Alexa Isben was, like...easily the prettiest girl in school."

You frown, already not liking where this story is going. "Did she not show up?"

"No, she was there." His voice sounds almost resigned, but there's a note of something darker underneath. Something raw and painful, that likely still hurts after all these years. "But so was the entire football team. They stripped me naked and tied me to a goal post. So many kids were there, you know, just watching."

"No one stopped them?" you ask, trying to keep your voice steady.

"I begged them to, but they just...they just watched. Then finally they got bored and they left." He clears his throat, and the sound is small, like a little boy's. "It was like midnight when I finally got home. And my mom didn't...Mom was having one of her episodes, so she didn't even realize I was late."

"You never told her what happened?"

He shakes his head. "I never told anybody. I thought it was one of those things that I thought if I didn't talk about it, I'd just forget. But I remember it like it was yesterday."

"You don't need an eidetic memory for that, Spence," you whisper, trying to stay focused on the road even as his words swirl into your memories and create an agonizing hurricane of emotions. "I was only ten years old when my mom was killed, but I can still remember every moment of her funeral."

The field office comes into view and you push forward as you scan your badge and slide into a parking spot below the upper garage. When the car is in park, you undo your seatbelt and turn to him. "I know how hard it can be to push away the painful memories, but there's something more important that I need you to remember."

"Remember what?"

He looks at you then, and you reach forward to squeeze his hand. "You're not alone anymore."

***

"Is it always this hot?" You look up at the beating sun through your shaded sunglasses and fan your face with both of your hands.

"Every day, all day," Emily huffs, running her fingers through her bangs to unstick them from her forehead.

Everyone is sweltering in the Miami heat, but then Derek gets off the plane with a wide grin, his skin glistening in the sun, and you resist the urge to throw your bag at him. "South Beach, baby."

He immediately shuts up when he spots the stunning Miami PD detective who called your team in for the recent string of murders. JJ shoots you a smirk before introducing her to the team. "Detective Lopez. We spoke on the phone."

"Tina," she corrects, before shaking her hand. "Thank you for coming down so quickly."

"Hey," Emily says from beside you, making you turn to see what she's looking at. "Isn't that..."

You spot the person she's referring to, and your face splits into a big smile. "Detective LaMontagne!"

"He's here to ID the cop they pulled from the bay last night," Tina explains.

You don't miss the flush in JJ's cheeks as she shakes his hand. "Detective, good to see you."

"How are you?" you ask, giving him a quick hug that he returns.

"Yeah, Charlie Luvet and I worked together for seven years."

Derek frowns. "Sorry for your loss, man."

Tina looks confused, and you don't blame her. "So, you all know each other?"

"Professionally," JJ is quick to add. Will whips around to look at her, and you turn to Emily with an eyebrow raise, feeling like you're intruding on a private moment. You aren't sure why she won't just admit that they've been together since New Orleans, but that's her business.

***

You join JJ and Will at the IDing of Officer Luvet, and you keep your distance as he glances down at the body and affirms the report.

"Yeah, that's him."

JJ looks like she wants to comfort him, but instead she sticks to the professional approach. "If you need help making arrangements, liaising with families is part of what I do."

Will nods, his voice choking up slightly. "I might just take you up on that. Excuse me, I'll be outside."

When he steps outside of the coroner's office, you can't help but notice the longing look on JJ's face as she watches him go.

"Let's go," she says to you softly, her eyes still on the door. You follow her outside, but by then Will is nowhere to be found.

"It's okay, you know," you blurt out. You weren't really planning on talking to her about this, but sometimes your mouth takes over before your brain can catch up. "I know you worry that being around a band of profilers all the time makes you vulnerable."

"I'm not sure what you're talking about," she says simply, not quite meeting your eye.

"JJ," you say seriously, trying to convey your pure intentions. "If you keep trying to hide it, you'll lose him."

She purses her lips, and you squeeze her forearm, hoping you aren't pushing past her boundaries. The whole team is sparing with details about their personal lives, but you like to think that you're someone people feel comfortable sharing things with.

"I know you, hon." You flash her a knowing smile, feeling a shot of satisfaction as her lip twitches. "I know that it's enough for you to know that you care about something, but it's not enough for everyone."

She exhales, tucking her hair behind her ears. "He's upset with me, but I don't know what to do. I'm still scared."

You sigh, understanding her predicament, but still wanting her to push past it. "You can let yourself be happy, JJ. You won't always get hurt."

She nods before glancing around the room again, searching for Will even though he's long gone. It's an instinct you recognize.

Later, when JJ finally acknowledges their relationship by pulling him in for a kiss at the police station, you can't help but take it as a win.

***

Your house feels emptier than usual when you get back from Miami. Seeing JJ and Will find each other again reminded you of how much you miss having someone to share your life with.

Deciding to take a night to yourself, you pop open a bottle of red, and pour yourself a glass, which you swirl around before taking a sip. It's drier than you tend to go for, and when you check the label, you realize that's because you didn't buy it.

How can you drink this stuff?

It makes me feel sophisticated.

Jeff would break out the fancy glassware every chance he got, because he didn't believe in special occasions. He used to say that people waste precious moments of their life waiting for the right occasion to come around.

The memory feels warm in the back of your mind, and you take another sip of wine before walking over to your cupboard and grabbing the fanciest wine glass you can find. You pour the rest of your wine into the new glass and place the other in the sink, before swirling it around again. No time like the present.

You bring the glass to the couch with you, where you turn on the television and skip through the first few channels. As the wine in your glass depletes, the loneliness sets back in. You're about to pour yourself another pity glass when your phone buzzes with a call from Hotch.

"Do your television channels suck as much as mine do?"

You smile, muting the television and pressing the phone to your ear. "Definitely not."

He chuffs. "I guess I'm not used to the new tv controls."

Right, his new apartment. After the papers were finalized, he gave the house to Haley and moved into a new place ten minutes away.

"We can share mine," you say, listening to the sounds of his breath over the receiver. "I also have wine."

That gets a laugh. "I'll be there in 15."

You hear a knock on your door exactly 14 minutes later. When you open it, you're greeted with the sight of Hotch in a tee shirt and jeans. "A little underdressed, aren't we?"

He snorts, taking the wine glasses from your hands and following you into the family room. "What are we watching?"

"You're the one with the broken tv," you grin, flopping down on the couch and taking your glass from him. "What do you want to watch?"

He thinks for a minute, before his eyes sparkle with an idea. You cut him off before he can suggest what you already know he will. "We are not watching Top Gun again, Hotch!"

"You asked," he shrugs, hiding his smile behind a sip of wine. "What do you want to watch, then?"

You can see him watching you over the rim of his glass, so you blurt out the first name that comes to your mind. "Footloose."

He looks at you blankly for a moment, before his brow twitches, and your jaw drops. "You haven't seen Footloose?!"

"It came out when we were in high school," he groans, taking one of the throw pillows off the couch and stuffing it behind his back. "Terminator and Dune came out that same year. I remember because you tried to get me to watch it then too."

"It's an amazing movie!" you exclaim, standing up to go dig through your movie cabinet. "We're watching it right now."

He groans and sinks back into the pillows as you find the DVD and start the movie. You've seen it at least a dozen times, mostly because it makes you nostalgic for your teenage years, but the opening still gets you excited.

As the movie plays, you keep glancing over at Hotch, trying to see if he's enjoying the scenes just as much as you did on your first watch. To his credit, he watches the movie faithfully, without checking his phone or straying from the television screen.

"Enough," he grumbles suddenly, startling you.

"What?" you question, whipping your head around to face the screen.

"I'm watching the movie," he huffs, fixing you with a pointed look. "You don't have to keep checking."

You frown, hugging a pillow to your chest. "I wasn't checking, I just like seeing people's reactions to my favorite movies."

"Either way."

You groan, reaching out to thwack his arm.

"Eyes on the screen," he berates you, pointing at the TV. "The dance scene is starting."

You sip your wine bitterly as you try to resist the urge to glance over at him. Eventually, the movie takes over your attention and soon it's the final town council scene where Kevin Bacon gives a speech to the whole town.

"'There was a time for this law'," you quote along with the movie, "'but not anymore.'"

The movie comes to an end, and you click the remote to turn off the television. When you turn to Hotch with an excited grin, you're surprised to see that he has fallen asleep.

His head has fallen to the side, resting on the armrest, and he looks so peaceful with his expression completely neutral. His characteristic frown is nowhere to be seen as he snores quietly through his nose.

Your lips curve into a smile as you stand up and grab a blanket from a basket beside the couch. You drape it over his body, being careful not to wake him, and take the wine glasses to the sink before heading up for bed.

***

"That's because you pick horses the same way you practice law."

You hold your breath as he glances into the crowd for a brief second.

"...by always taking the long shot."

Emily snickers under her breath, and you see even Reid crack a smile as the lawyer starts floundering. The rest of the day in court goes by quickly and you all wait for Hotch in the hallway of the courthouse as he finishes up inside.

"That was impressive," you grin, nudging his shoulder as he walks alongside you. "I can't believe that was my first time seeing you in full prosecutor mode."

"Hardly," he says, rolling his eyes lightly. "I was called to give testimony, it's very different."

"I'm just surprised that prosecutor is still walking after how hard you hit him." He shoots you a look and you raise your hands in surrender. "Metaphorically, of course."

"That was a straight knock out." Derek comes up behind you and throws an arm around your shoulder as he spins you both to face Hotch. "The crowd practically cheered when you cleaned the floor with him."

"Thank you," he concedes, flashing his eyes at you. "Now let's get back to work. We still have to get more evidence for the rest of the trial."

And just like that, everyone switches back into work mode. Derek drops his arm and jogs forward to catch up to Rossi and Spencer, while Emily calls Garcia to get the latest update.

Using the moment of solitude, you bump his shoulder again. "Do you ever wish you were still a prosecutor? Your life would certainly be a lot simpler."

He shakes his head, the answer coming quickly and firmly. "I couldn't do it then, and I still couldn't now. Seeing the murderers come in after they've finished killing...I needed to know I could stop them before they were done."

His sentiment sounds familiar. Your mind flashes back to the little boy who took matters into his own hands, because no one could stop the pain for him.

You blink and it's present day again. You loved your best friend who fought his own battles without asking for help, and, even though he's vastly different, you love your best friend as he is now.

***

"Five shootings in two weeks."

"It's about time we got the call."

The whole team, plus Garcia, flies up to New York, where an unsub has been shooting people around the city, seemingly at random.

"Kate Joyner heads up the New York field office," Hotch explains, glancing down at his cell phone. "She's running point on the case and called me directly."

You have heard of her, which isn't too surprising, but all you know is that she's British and seems to be very good at her job.

"You know her?" Morgan asks him, echoing your thoughts.

Hotch nods. "We liaised when she was still at Scotland Yard."

They liaised. You don't know what that implies, but you also know that he and Haley didn't take a single break during their relationship after graduating college, so it can't be anything too personal.

JJ and Emily share a look, but you don't engage with them, instead looking back at the case file and trying to focus on any of the words that aren't 'Kate Joyner'.

***

"Kate."

A pretty blonde woman approaches you all with a smile only for Hotch. "Aaron. How have you been?"

He nods. "Well, thank you. This is my team." He introduces each of you to her, but you don't miss how her eyes linger on you when he mentions your name.

"Thanks for being here," she says, before walking you all through the background of the case. Shootings in different precincts, seemingly random, FBI only brought in after the fourth murder.

After explaining the details and introducing you to the local detectives on the case, she pulls Hotch aside for a private word in her office. You turn back to the team, trying not to let your gaze linger on them as they walk away.

The NYPD doesn't seem happy that SSA Joyner has taken over their case, but even though she comes off as a bit brusque, you can tell she cares about catching this unsub just as much as they do.

"What's your partner's problem?" Reid asks Detective Cooper, the only local officer who has made an effort to meet any of you.

"We're glad the FBI was brought in," he explains with a heavy sigh, "but all of a sudden Joyner's taking meetings with the mayor and calling in you all without us knowing anything about it."

You can understand his hesitation, but you also need his cooperation if you're going to get anything done here.

"We're only here to help," Emily tells him as you turn around to find JJ.

"Has Garcia gotten settled in with the New York tech analyst?" you ask once you find her staring at a map of the various boroughs. She doesn't answer immediately, so you nudge her shoulder. "JJ?"

"Huh?" she startles. "Oh, sorry, yeah. She called a few minutes ago, she's all good."

JJ is usually the focused one who brings you back on track, so you're surprised by how distracted she seems. You nod in acknowledgement, scrutinizing her expression for another second, before heading back to the team. Your eyes involuntarily dart over to Kate's office, and you notice how close together she and Hotch are. You're about to avert your eyes when their body language becomes a bit clearer: each time she leans in to say something, he subtly pulls back.

The dynamic of their relationship is suddenly apparent, and you mentally kick yourself for daring to assume the worst when he first mentioned her. You can't say the same for your opinion of her, though. He's still wearing his ring, for God's sake. Based on how little you've heard about her from him (nothing, you mean), you doubt she even knows about the divorce yet.

Derek and JJ head out with the detectives to check out the last crime scene, while you stay back with Emily and Spencer to build the anti-geographical profile. When another victim is shot, you head to the new scene to see if you can build a working profile.

"It's a different borough again," you sigh after getting out of the SUV and joining Hotch, Kate, Derek, and JJ in front of the body. "Prentiss and Reid are back at the office still working the profile from a geographical angle. We're starting to think maybe we should get officers out onto the high-traffic intersections, and maybe even get some of us out there too."

"Uniforms are rounding up witnesses," Kate jumps in, ignoring you. "It doesn't seem like anyone got a clean look."

You see Derek glance at you out of the corner of your eye, but you don't entertain the look. If she has some issue with you that you aren't aware of, you won't give her the satisfaction of letting her get to you. "The unsub's probably gone before anyone even realizes it's happening,"

Hotch nods, turning to face Kate. "Is this what it felt like during the Son of Sam."

She returns his gaze. "First we realized that if the violence was truly random, there was almost no way of stopping it. Seems like these people have figured that out."

You look up, trying to see if there's anything in the vicinity you can use to ID the unsub. Your eyes catch on a security camera outside one of the delis directly behind you. "From the placement of that camera, odds are the only view they're going to get is the back of his head."

She frowns. "Let's not be too quick to decide what we do or don't have."

This time it's both Derek and JJ that glance at you, but you turn to Hotch, who is avoiding meeting your eyes. Kate steps away to speak with the detectives at the scene, so you grab his arm and pull him aside. "What is her problem?"

He exhales, rubbing a hand over his face. "FBI brass has made it clear to her that if she doesn't bring this case home, she's going to be reassigned. And you are at the top of the list to replace her."

"Replace her?" you echo, trying to process what he's saying. "I haven't even been in the BAU that long."

"It's not about field experience," he says, angling his body so that you're separated from the others. "You've been with the bureau longer than I have, and your work speaks for itself. It's not a surprise that they'd want to promote you."

You still can't wrap your head around the fact that you could be leading a unit yourself, or that you may have to leave the team you love, so you focus on what you do know. "I thought the bureau was proud of the fact that they stole her from Scotland Yard."

"I don't know," he shrugs, glancing back at her. "Politics here are different."

***

After finishing up at the crime scene, the whole team heads to the hotel to get some rest for the night. You feel more alert than you usually do after a long day of building a profile, and you adjust your bag strap on your shoulder as you dig around the side pockets for your room key. You don't plan on going to bed for at least a few more hours, and you might as well use the time to work on the case, but you need your key if you're going to get any sleep at all.

When your fingers finally catch on the thin plastic card, you look up to see a familiar face that you've been seeing more often than not, as of late. "Wait, isn't that..."

JJ looks up with a start, and she doesn't look distracted for the first time all day. "Will."

He gets up from the lobby chair he was lounging in and approaches her. "Hey, I took a shot and flew to D.C., but when it didn't work, I figured a train ride to New York was only a few more hours."

"Detective." Hotch reaches out and shakes his hand, before glancing at you with a frown that says, Did you know he was coming?

You shake your head imperceptibly and turn back to Will as he looks longingly at JJ. "Look, I'm sorry for showing up like this. I know you're working, but I can't stand you being on this case and me not being near." He pauses for a beat. "Not with what's going on."

That makes you frown too.

Hotch echoes your thoughts. "Is there a problem?"

JJ takes a deep breath and turns around to face all of you. "I'm pregnant."

Oh my God.

"Oh, my God," Emily exclaims, pulling her into a hug, the first of you to regain her bearings after hearing the news. "JJ, congratulations."

"That's amazing, JJ," you grin, hugging her next.

You don't miss how stiff Hotch is as Will shakes his hand. "I've asked JJ to marry me."

"Will," JJ says tightly, a warning in her voice.

He chuckles. "Well, we're working out some kinks."

"We'll give you both some privacy." Hotch turns away from them, his face falling the moment she can't see him anymore. You know he's hurt that she didn't trust him with this information, but you're surprised by just how downtrodden he seems.

JJ rushes after him. "Hotch-"

"JJ, you could have told me," he says softly, his voice both confused and stung.

She looks down. "I know."

"Because I understand if you need to take some time."

"No," she shakes her head, without a look back. "I want to be here."

"Okay," he nods, not looking at any of you. "7:00 AM."

You try to catch his arm as he walks off, but he either ignores it, or he doesn't feel you reaching for him. You choose to believe it's the latter.

***

You all deliver the working profile to the police officers first thing the next morning. While you're explaining an alternate possibility, Garcia calls with an update that a possible unsub was caught on camera shooting someone on a subway platform at one of the intersections you suggested that your team patrol yesterday.

"We could have had that guy," you say, your voice fuming with anger as you turn to Kate with a glare you haven't used in ages.

She doesn't falter. "Even if we were on that platform, odds are he would have moved onto someone isolated."

"Maybe, but it was worth taking a shot."

She fixes you with a stare. "I had every available man on the street."

"And I suggested to you that you use this team." You can't believe that her decision to ignore your advice yesterday might have just cost someone else their life. You can see the rest of the team looking at you with some blend of concern or indignation on your behalf, but you don't care. You just need Hotch to back you up.

Instead he just looks at you. "L/N, second-guessing doesn't do us any good right now."

You're so angry, you can barely see straight. Emily reaches for your arm, but you shake her off. "Hotch, how are we supposed to look these cops in the eye and tell them that we're actually here to help them, if she won't let us do our job?"

"We're here to present a profile," he says simply, not quite meeting your eye. "That's what we need to do."

You gape at him, your back straightening as you get ready to stand your ground. You don't disagree on things like this often, but when you do, it's usually a civil conversation that gets resolved quickly. You've never felt this angry about his handling of a case before, but then again, he's never not had your back before. "We've got seven bodies, Hotch."

He looks at you then, and you can't discern anything from his expression. It's a blank slate that sends a shiver down your spine. "It's not your place to have this discussion."

"Screw you."

You spin around, shoving away Derek and Emily as they try to talk you down. You stalk past them and out of the field office, where the cool evening air fills your sinuses and clears your head for a moment of silence. You stand on the sidewalk for a few seconds, waiting, and when he doesn't follow you out, you just manage to convince yourself that you're not disappointed, but relieved.

***

You're sitting at the hotel bar when Rossi finally finds you. You only ordered a lemon water, still feeling like you're on the clock, even if there's a good chance Hotch won't let you back into the investigation.

"I know," you huff when he takes a seat beside you. "I was out of line."

"You got too emotionally involved," he says, turning to face you. "I know you and Hotch are friends, but that doesn't mean you get to be unprofessional."

You sigh, your body deflating as all the fight leaves you. "I just felt like he was taking her side. Like he didn't have my back."

"There are no sides here."

You nod. "I know."

"And he does have your back." You look at him then, and he flashes you a small smile. "That man will always have your back. Right now, he's just worried about how Kate is holding up, with the word on the street."

That surprises you. "You know about the promotion?"

He nods. "People talk. But if she were to get fired, it would be because we didn't solve this case."

You frown, lifting your hand in defense. "Rossi, I hope you're not saying you think I want her to fail."

"Of course not," he shakes his head. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I lost my head for a second," you acknowledge, taking a sip of water. "I think I just needed a minute."

"And you got it," he says simply. "But right now, I see someone who wants to get back on the job. Or is there another reason why you ordered a glass of water at a bar?"

You set your glass down, letting out a surprised chuckle. "Where is everyone now?"

You both stand up, and he leads you out of the lobby. "Joyner took your advice. We're spreading out across the city."

***

"Emily, what happened?"

You rush forward to where she is standing over the dead body of a young man. Detective Cooper was taken in an ambulance to a nearby hospital after getting shot, and you only just arrived on the scene.

"He was strangely calm," she whispers as Derek and JJ come up behind her. "It's almost like suicide by cop."

"Why?" JJ thinks out loud. "Why would he do that?"

Derek looks at you. "We need to walk back through this profile."

Hundreds of thoughts are swirling through your brain, but based on the look on everyone's faces, you can tell they're thinking the same thing you are: terrorism.

After the crime scene officials arrive, you head over to your SUV to get back to the field office. Derek heads out to brief Homeland Security, and Reid leaves to talk to the Port Authority police, while Hotch and Kate call with the update that they will be going to speak with the mayor's office.

You start your SUV and pull out into the street when a loud explosion goes off a few streets behind you, the plume of smoke and fire large enough that you catch the high end of it in your rearview mirror.

You screech to a stop, just as your phone starts to ring.

TAGLIST: @citrusiove, @sanayikes, @yiiiikesmish, @mdanon027, @alice-w0rld, @beata1108, @bakugocanstompme, @raely-study, @himboelover, @hermionegalathynius, @rousethemouse, @calif0rniadreamin, @tolerateit13, @delusional-13s-blog (message me to be added!)

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner x fem!reader #hotch x reader #hotch x female!reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #penelope garcia #spencer reid #derek morgan #jennifer jareau #emily prentiss #david rossi #jason gideon #aaron hotchner fic #aaron hotchner series #criminal minds series #criminal minds season three #hotch fic #criminal minds fanfiction

[luvistqrzzz]

and i've seen sparks fly everytime you smile...

sparks fly— where you think the sleepy boy walking you back home is cute...

jungwon x f.reader genre: fluff, high school au, classmates to ?? wc: 0.5k warnings: none part of what shade is our love series

your footsteps echoed in the empty hallway as you quickly walked towards your classroom. you must have forgotten your notebook somewhere there.

arriving at the door, you stopped in your tracks at the sight that greets you, your stomach doing a sudden flip.

yang jungwon.

he was sleeping, sprawled over the desk, the sunlight filtering in through the stained windows falling on his face. you stood there, unsure of whether to wake him up or not.

maybe you should considering how the gates would be locked in half an hour or so and you weren't cruel enough to let a poor boy be stuck in the school for so long.

you nervously walked up to his sleeping figure, oberseving the way his face looked so calm. it was not something you saw often. jungwon was always busy with studies, student council and what not.

he was so etheral that you had to stop yourself from being creepy and looking away. it wasn't like yang jungwon was your crush. he was a classmate, a very helpful one. always willing to lend a hand, or give a smile across the hallways.

but then again, you didn't miss the way your heart raced everytime he talked to you.

'uh jungwon…' you whispered, scared of how he would react to your sudden presence. 'school is finished, uhm… get up.'

hearing the sudden voice, the boy woke up with a start. 'who- what?!' he spoke in a sleepy voice before noticing you, face to face with him.

jungwon gulped at the sight of your face, his cheeks turning a shade darker, 'Oh, uh… y/n?!'

realizing the position you were in, you jumped back embarrassed, 'y-yeah… It's time to go.'

he looked around the empty classroom to avoid any further eye contact with his crush standing in front of him, before stuffing the books into his bag and getting up and following you out of the classroom.

jungwon took in a deep breath, stealing a quick glance at your direction and mustering up some courage, 'hey..... shouldwewalkbackhometogether?' it's now or never

you turned towards him in confusion, 'erm you need to calm down jungwon.'

'should we walk back home together?' he repeated, emphasising on each word, looking cute doing so. you couldn't hide the smile that spread across your face as you gave a quick nod.

jungwon couldn't believe it. he had always wanted to talk to you outside the formal 'hello' and 'how are you' and there you were, walking beside him with a small skip in your step. you chuckled at something he said only to find him looking at you softly.

your heart sped up, 'what?' the boy turned around, embaressed, 'n-nothing! oh look, i think we have arrived.'

you looked at your house at the other side of the street, 'i'm afraid so.' you pouted, not wanting to leave him. 'we should talk m-' '-you're cute, jungwon', you both said at the same moment. your ears turned pink as the realization hit you of what you had just said.

uh oh. 'okay bye see you at school!' you squeaked before sprinting in the opposite direction.

jungwon looked at your disappearing figure in a daze. did you really call him cute?

an: if this sounds cringe then its probably because im bad in writing fluff (wow whats happening ?!) but i had a classmate!jw brainrot lmao,,, also some parts are taken from a jeongin hc i wrote in my prev acc hehe ^^!! rbs and feedbacks are vv appreciated <3!

networks: @enhanet @en-web @k-films @hyfenet

permanent taglist open- send an ask- @rikizm @str0l0gy @yenqa @heetoldme @crxzs @s00buwu lmk if yall ever want to be removed its totally fine :D!!

#enhypen imagines #— works ! #jungwon fanfic #enhypen x reader #enhypen fanfiction #enhanet #jungwon x reader #jungwon imagines #jungwon x you #enhypen au #enhypen fanfics #jungwon fanfiction #enhypen fluff #enhypen scenarios #enhypen drabbles #enhypen jungwon

[jonnnysuh]

Dating S Coups would include

A/N: HIIII Happy new year !!! Long time no see. I wanted to write one of these for so long but it just wasn’t working out…. And then my brain came up with this out of no where. I’m not sure how well this is gonna do bc it’s been a while ((also no one has ever requested s coups??? So I’m really doing this for no reason LMAO)) I’m ngl i kinda popped off on this one. also fun lil treat at the end <3

Series Masterlist

Crushing stages:

This is a friends to lovers type of man!!! I cannot stress this enough

You meet each other when you’re kids and one day he looks at you and it just clicks

At first you refuse to believe there’s something between you two bc you’ve known him for so long

But there’s something about the way he says your name when he’s sleepy, how he always makes sure to be on the “dangerous��� side of the sidewalk for you, how he is the one thing in your life that feels stable and warm and right

One day he’s like “fuck it” and goes for it bc there is no feeling in the world as definite as his love for you

Dating:

Bc you’ve been friends for actual eternity he knows you so well

It goes beyond just remembering all the foods you do and don’t like (which he does know) … HE CAN TELL WHEN YOU’RE LYING

Also bc of this, he’s the first person you go to for advice

You know he’ll be honest and fair and help you come up with the right decision bc he just… knows you

Sends u drunk texts bc he cannot stop thinking about u ever

100000% compared hands with you when you were just friends LMAO AND STARTED INTERLOCKING FINGERSJSJDKSK

He does not get tired of listening to the story of when you realized you had feelings for him

Will do things for you even if he’s tired out of his mind as long as it makes u happy

If u needed a glass of water in the middle of the night there is no question about,, he’s getting up from bed to make sure you have it

“Text me when u get home” 🫡

Brings up embarrassing childhood stories about you

But don’t worry you also got some dirt on him so he won’t be hehe-ing for too long

NOOO I FEEL LIKE HE’D ENJOY MAKING LEGO FLOWERS WITH YOU (or any sort of thing where you guys can sit in comfortable silence,, as long as you’re together type thing)

IT’S A YEARLY TRADITION

Is not afraid to tell you his opinion

And won’t always agree with u

Sometimes he wont say it tho, you can just tell by his face…. But also guess what Cheol ur not the boss 🤬🤬🤬

Loves late night drives !!! Eeeee imagine listening to music in the car with him and singing your lil hearts out

One hand on the wheel one hand on you

Having a Spotify blend of ur guys’ favourite songs 😭😭 and they’re always in rotation 😭😭😭 Imma cry rn

He said “I love you” first. Tbh he always knew he was going to be the one bc he can’t help it, it’s so easy with you

Cuddles after a long day

“C’mere” in his tired voice FJOSFIOWJXJKWNS!!!

Spoonfeeds you bites of his meals

Your parents really really like him ((he’s so charming I fear there was no choice))

Sends u cute lil update pics

YOU GOT THIS FULL GROWN MAN SENDING YOU KISSY FACES

Nah he for sure has an album in his phone called “us <3” or some shit with just pics of YOU GUYS AHHHHHH

For some reason I feel like he’d like the sound of his SO’s voice

Is your voice of reason when u wanna make a dumb decision … but will that stop u from being dumb sometimes??? I think not

Lowkey…. Blows u kisses…. No one else is allowed to see tho ok shh

Your whole house smells like him after he visits bc his cologne is STRONG

Often times when you’re cuddling in bed he’ll be looking over your shoulder so u guys watch TikToks/videos together

Soooooo supportive! He’s so proud of you!!

Competitive asshole

It can be the most mundane thing ever but he has to win or even just tease you about it

Voluntarily gives you his sweaters and shirts

Lifts you up a bit when you guys hug

Long-term bets ((just cause y’all know you’ll be together for a longgggg time))

Calling each other by your childhood nicknames

He gets excited when you guys talk about the future he literally cannot wait to spend his entire life with you

Taps on his cheek for a kiss jfodjdjkdnd

Plays with your hair so gently that it causes you to fall asleep

“How are you, my baby?”

HE HAS TO ADD “MY” BC YOU ARE HIS BABY

Protective. If he thinks someone’s gonna mess with you he’ll step in at the exact right time

Lowkey gets jealous,, he needs that reassurance sometimes

NAHHHH imagine saying “make me” to this man …. That’s all I’m gonna say

Bites u (lovingly)

Loves going grocery shopping with you and taking an extra long time in the snack aisle

Has the urge to sing cheesy love songs around you bc you make him feel like those songs!!!

If you do something cute he’ll blush

Messing with him is so much fun bc theres literally endless ways to go about it

You have the privilege to push his buttons

Either one of you bringing up childish shit like “REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED FREEZE TAG AND YOU DIDNT UNFREEZE ME??”

If you start showing him things on FaceTime he’ll give you his full attention like he’s in the room with you

Gets pouty when he wants a kiss and you’re not giving it to him

NAH if you get sulky coups it’s over with you’ve already lost … the man is getting what he wants

play wrestles with u

The way he looks at you there is honestly no denying that he is so in love with you

The one person in the world who knows everything about you

Loves a good deep talk but fair warning: he will get emotional about it

All I’m saying is s coups is a certified lover boy methinks

BONUS:

#s coups #s coups scenarios #choi seungcheol #seventeen #seventeen imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop texts #kpop writing #scoups fluff #boyfriend!svt #seventeen drabbles #svt #tbh its not really written in his tone of voice but LOWE ME #THESE TEXTS WERE SO HARD TO COME UP WITH BUT U KNOW WHAT #I LIKE THEM #me trying to fight for my life for no reason #svt headcanons

[littlebluespoon]

hellos~ tiny fluffy but with potential for angst request: reader comforting König after he gets night terrors. consider it an apology for the degeneracy of the last request lmao

-🍎

Okay so for context, this is just human König who's kidnapped reader. It's not full fluff, there's still some dark bits to it. It's set in the same world as the sick König one I did, this ones just earlier in the timeline. Maybe i'll make it a series, who knows? Not me

Song is Lost Boys by Ruth B

tw: kidnapping, non-con elements, nightmares

---

For a week now you've been chained to the end of his bed. You refuse to sleep in it with him, too afraid of what he might do as you were unaware. For a week you've watched him toss and turn and even shout in his sleep. He never seems to wake fully, just rouses himself enough that the horrors don't torment him for a while before he once again falls into the abyss.

You can't take it anymore. You can't sleep while he sleeps because his nightmares haunt you too, the shouts and whimpers from him keep you awake. You can't sleep during the day because he wants to spend every moment with you. So you have no other choice but to do what you're about to.

"There was a time when I was alone, nowhere to go and no place to call home. My only friend was the man in the moon and even sometimes he would go away too..." it was a song that always relaxed you and you hoped it would do the same for him.

As you sung softly from your spot at the end of the bed you watch him. You see the frantic movements get a little more sluggish, the shouts peter out and eventually he stills. As you finish the song the silence that follows is peaceful unlike anything you've felt since you arrived here. It was even enough to put you to sleep.

#bluespoonswriting #asks for blue #call of duty fanfic #call of duty x reader #könig x reader #konig x reader #tw: kidnapping #tw: noncon

[taevbears]

Magic Shop - 11

You find out what Seokjin calls you behind your back.

⤑ pairing: OT7 x witch!reader, Seokjin focused ⤑ genre: magic au, romance, angst, hurt/comfort, found family, domestic/slice of life, action/adventure ⤑ rating: 18+ ⤑ word count: 12.0k ⤑ warnings: smut (penetrative), seokjin gets a little jealous and touchy (risky touching?), verbal sexual harassment, pet names, minor character death, public torture (whipping, implied starvation, not y/n or the boys), description of bodily harm, oppression of mages, implied shady business dealings, a bit of piracy, probable inaccuracies with 92 liners, mentions of violence, y/n and seokjin are so ride or die for each other lmao. ⤑ note: this is the 2nd half of jin's story! if you haven't read the ch 10 yet or need a refresher, please do so before reading this chapter! but man, the amount of times i had to re-write some scenes bc i was afraid it was getting too complicated. even though it's a long one, i hope you guys enjoy! i'd love to hear your thoughts on everything :)

Chapters: Series ML | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13

In the time that Seokjin is away, there hasn’t been a single day where he isn’t thinking about you.

In the throes of battle, surrounded by enemies. Swords viciously clash against each other and arrows of fire shoot across the sky. An anguished cry from a fallen opponent pierces the air. And Seokjin, unceremoniously running his sword through an incoming enemy, wonders if you’re having a good day.

During a third round of drinks in a noisy pub. Drunk comrades are crooning classic love songs, their words slurring together as they belt out notes off-key. One of them is in their feelings and is crying under the table. Glass shatters from the corner of the bar and a brawl is let loose. As a chair flies over his head, Seokjin worries if you’re eating well and sleeping okay.

Late at night, in their makeshift camp that’s located in the middle of nowhere. The cackles of a small bonfire, the snores of his team, and the chirps of crickets fill the quiet night. Above him, the stars and moon are beautiful, and Seokjin gazes up at them forlornly as a wild bear approaches the camp. He ignores the menacing roar and the panicked screams as he realizes how much he misses you.

It feels like he’s been away from you longer than he really has. With every begrudging step, he and the Freelancers travel on foot to their destination. The location of their target is far, and the threats of wild animals, bandits, and other ailments make the roads dangerous.

But nothing – not even the merciless wrath of the Devoted gods – could withstand the constant bickering between the two leaders of the Freelancers.

Day in and day out, it feels like the two brothers – Adnan and Tariq – can’t settle on anything without a disagreement. Diplomatic and a pacifist, Adnan tries to help anyone he comes across who are in need. Tariq scolds him for giving away needed supplies and for wasting their time. But while Adnan is checking local inns and encouraging the guild to turn in for the night, Tariq and his followers unwind at pubs and bars until the early hours of the morning. They’ve been nothing but hostile toward each other. Not only are they getting on each other’s nerves, but it’s affecting everyone else as well.

“Have they always been like that?” Seokjin asks, keeping his voice low as he eyes the tent the brothers are in. Everyone is pretending they can’t hear them yelling at each other again.

Byulyi nods her head solemnly. “It’s been getting worse. Ever since their father got sick, he’s been giving Adnan the responsibility to lead the guild. But Tariq has his own ideas and wants to run things very differently.”

Just then, Tariq storms out of Adnan’s tent. A silence follows as the guild gauges his angered expression. And the tension continues to linger even after Tariq enters his own tent without a word.

Their mission comes directly from a wealthy nobleman.

There’s a looming threat of something in the nearby woods. Every night, the villagers hear a horrid groan. It spooks the dogs and the livestock. To make matters worse, those who’ve dared to investigate the strange sound have yet to return. No one knows if it’s a beast, a cult, or witchcraft. Whatever it is, it seems to be getting closer to the town.

The mission is considered complete if they are able to successfully investigate the mysterious sound and get rid of the threat.

“This feels spooky,” Junghwan whispers, inching closer to Seokjin. He nods his head, eyes flickering wearily at the treetops. A thick fog has settled around them, obscuring the path beyond what their torches can illuminate. Aside from their footsteps and the cackles of their burning flames, everything is so quiet.

Adnan and Tariq are in the lead, but a fork in the road has the group split. Some follow the leader down one path while the rest follow his brother. Seokjin pauses as he looks down the crossroads, not sure which way to take.

What would you do in this situation?

It’s funny how, even now, Seokjin is still thinking about you.

His friends stop as well. Nervously, Heeyeon asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Shh. Did you hear that?” Jaehwan whispers. Everyone falls quiet, barely breathing.

It’s then, they catch it. The sound of rustling.

Sunwoo is the first to jump into action. He draws his weapon, stepping closer to the source of the sound. Seokjin and Byulyi flank to his side, ready to assist, followed by Junghwan, Jaehwan, and Heeyeon. Seokjin unsheathes his sword as Sunwoo charges forward.

Caught in a small clearing is a group of three. One man and two women. Humans, at least at first glance. Seokjin would’ve thought they’re from another guild had he not seen the small, glowing light from the tips of their wands.

Mages.

The two groups point their weapons at each other, but no one makes the first strike. Sunwoo’s brows are furrowed as he demands, “Who are you?”

“We’re just trying to get away from it,” the man explains, urgency in his voice. “Let us pass and we won’t harm you.”

Byulyi frowns. “Get away from what?”

In the distance, Seokjin sees it.

Through the thick fog, a tall figure emerges. Its height reaches the tall tree tops, and its body is entirely made of roots and wood. It’s as if an old, rotting tree has come to life, but its shape has morphed into something humanoid. In its wooden face, glowing, yellow eyes stare back at them.

“Please, don’t hurt us,” a woman pleads, her lip quivering with fear. She looks like she’s been through hell. “Our friend got trapped in the Veil. We were trying to perform a ritual for her, but she didn’t wake up. We were just trying to summon her back, but something else came instead.”

The others look confused, but Seokjin knows exactly what’s going on. He’s seen this once before, when something Wicked possesses a mage’s body.

“Do you feel her?” Seokjin quickly asks the group. “Do you still feel your friend’s energy in that thing?”

“Barely,” she answers. The two beside her nod their heads.

“Then we’re not too late,” Seokjin sighs as he sheaths his sword. His friends look even more confused as he turns to them and explains, “That creature is a person. Human, like all of us.”

Their eyes dart to the mages, who stare at him with a stunned silence. Byulyi’s frown deepens. “But—”

“Human. We’re human. They’re human. That’s human,” Seokjin emphasizes, pointing at each of them, including the mages and the beast. He turns his attention to the mages again. “You guys are her friends, right? You have to keep talking to her, then. You have to help her remember who she is so she can snap out of it.”

A flicker of hope shines in one of the woman’s eyes. The other two aren’t quite as convinced. The man is the one who answers. “Don’t you think we’ve tried that?”

“If you care about your friend, you’ll try again.” Seokjin doesn’t waste any more time to persuade them. He gestures toward the creature, telling his teammates that they can weaken her a little and stop her from doing any more damage, but they can’t kill her.

As they reach the creature, she’s even bigger in person, more intimidating. Even the mages are trembling a little as they crane their necks up to see her. The creature sees the group approaching her, and when she moves, a terrible, haunting groan escapes from her. To Seokjin, it almost sounds like a cry for help.

Taking his advice, the mages call out to their friend, shouting her name, trying to comfort her, assuring that they can still feel her energy. And much to everyone’s surprise, it’s working. The creature leans down, body aching and cracking as she tries to level with her friends.

“S-Scared…”

That’s the only word she utters before a shriek of pain pierces in the air. 

Adnan and Tariq have followed the sound of the groaning and see their comrades in the face of a terrifying creature. They unleash their attacks, raining fire upon her, even as Seokjin and the others scream at the brothers to stop.

“Good work, son,” Adnan tells him, clasping the former warden’s shoulder proudly. Seokjin feels the sting of frustration in his eyes. “We’ll take it from here.”

The creature in the woods is slain and the Wicked mages that summoned it have been arrested. Thanks to the Freelancers of New Haven, the village is at peace.

The nobleman pays the group handsomely for their efforts. The pouch of coins feels heavy in Seokjin’s hands. It’s enough for him to take a break, visit his hometown with you and the others, and still have more to spare toward the shop.

Seokjin doesn’t feel right when he’s handed his share by the grateful nobleman.

Although the mission is considered a success, Seokjin can’t help but think about the mages and the monster in the woods, about Adriel from Blackstone Castle and his similar fate. He can’t help but envision you, Hoseok, or Namjoon as the creature instead and witnessing your ends before he could stop it.

“I’m sorry about your friend,” Seokjin says to the mages, speaking quietly as the others around him celebrate their victory. The mages are held together, wrists bound with nullifying ties that prevent them from using their magic.

Their fates are undetermined. But with the way things are in this world, injustice will be their demise.

He doesn’t expect the mages to forgive him. He doesn’t even expect them to accept his apology. Yet, one of the female mages looks at him with kind eyes.

“How did you know… about her? That there’s a way for mages to regain their humanity after they turn Wicked?”

Seokjin isn’t sure how to answer. He’s seen the head enchanter of Blackstone call out to his apprentice. He’s seen Adriel come back to his senses when his friend, Jackson, broke through to him. And although he didn’t completely transform, Taehyung is living proof that it’s possible to become human again.

“I’ve come to realize you mages aren’t all that bad,” he decides. It’s a long story to explain otherwise.

“Because you know one?”

Seokjin stares at her with surprise. “I-I don’t—”

“It’s okay. Your secret is safe with me,” she says with a knowing smile. She glances at the charmed bracelet around his wrist. The one that Hoseok and Taehyung made for him before he left on his mission. The one that you had enchanted to keep him safe while he’s gone. “Whoever you know must care about you a lot. Those are some strong protection spells.”

“Yeah…” Seokjin trails off as he looks down at it. Everyone at the shop made sure he was well-protected and taken care of before he left. It makes him miss you all more.

And it makes him feel even more guilty about how things transpired.

The mission is completed and Seokjin has been paid, but he knows that deep down, he’s failed.

“Have you gone mad?” Adnan remarks as he stares at his younger brother in disbelief.

“Either this, or they be sent to the gallows,” Tariq reasons, and before his brother could reply, he adds, “It will be a waste of their talent if they’re just hung to death or sent to a fortress to rot.”

Another argument is brewing between the two brothers, but this one has everyone split. Before the guild could leave the village to return home, Tariq proposes to bring the captured mages with them. To atone for their sins, he suggests that they work for the guild instead.

“No way. The Devoted leaders will have our heads if we allow such a thing,” Adnan reminds him as a murmur of agreement comes from the crowd. Working with a mage is bound to be trouble. It goes against the teachings of the Devoted.

Tariq rolls his eyes. “The Devoted leaders can kiss my ass. Those pompous prudes have their heads so far up their own asses, they—”

“Brother!” Adnan snaps, interrupting him. “We are not taking the mages with us! What if one of them turns into another one of those creatures? Or something even worse? We’ll be endangering the town. We’ll be tarnishing the reputation our family has built for the Freelancers.”

“Fine. Then I quit the Freelancers.”

With the tension rising between the two brothers, it shouldn’t have been surprising. Yet, Seokjin is still stunned to see the guild fall apart before his eyes as they speak.

“Brother, where are your senses?” Adnan asks, exasperated. It seems like this isn’t the first time his brother has threatened to leave the guild. But it’s the first time Tariq seems to mean it.

“You do things your way, and I’ll do things my way,” he concludes as he turns to the quiet guild. “I’m making a new guild – The New Order. Anyone who has what it takes to join my side is more than welcomed to.”

Those in favor of Tariq, who’s morals seem to align with his questionable practices, immediately get up to follow him. Some are a bit more hesitant, standing with Tariq out of fear that he’ll attack the remaining Freelancers than anything else.

Unexpectedly, however, Seokjin begins to stand up as well.

His friends look at him with shock. Jaehwan asks, “What are you doing?”

Truthfully, Seokjin doesn’t know. Before New Haven, he was part of an order that is similar to what Adnan envisions for the Freelancers: knights of the Devoted protecting the town from magic and all things evil. Clearly, that didn’t work out for him. Seokjin can’t be in a guild that hunts mages for profit.

Seokjin looks at his friends with a half-hearted smile. “Hopefully, the right thing.”

Somehow, the journey going back home feels longer than having to leave. Without Adnan keeping things in order, Tariq and his men are like a crew of pillaging pirates. They spend their new earnings sleeping with women, drinking at pubs, intimidating the villagers with violence, and finding ways to make quick coin through threats and theft.

Seokjin doesn’t want any part of it.

Someone pushes him a pint of cold ale. Tariq grins at him from across the table. “It’s on me, kid. Live a little.”

“Thanks,” Seokjin mutters, taking a sip. It gives him something to do than just sitting there, ignoring the sultry women around him who are batting their eyelashes and giggling to get his attention. It’s times like this where he really wishes you were with him instead.

Tariq sees the way Seokjin is visibly uncomfortable with the women around him. “You have a wife or something?”

“Yes,” Seokjin answers. Technically, you’re not married to him. But you’re still his.

“You heard the man. Go find someone else,” he orders the women. They sigh in defeat, but leave him alone.

“Thanks,” Seokjin tells him, more sincerely.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with my brother,” Tariq continues, trying to make small talk. “You seem the type to follow him. Well-mannered, honest, a good person. Loyal to your wife, too. People like that love to kiss the ground he walks on.”

“I have my reasons,” Seokjin says vaguely. 

“We’ll have plenty more missions like this one in our future,” Tariq assures him. There’s a twinkle in his eyes that makes Seokjin mildly uncomfortable. “That thing in the woods was a mage too, right? Imagine having a monster like that on your side of the battlefield. We’d be unstoppable.”

Seokjin frowns. “Sir, what exactly are you going to do with the mages?”

Tariq doesn’t answer him. He just laughs heartily and tells him, “Just drink up, kid. You deserve it.”

Before he left, Seokjin made you a promise. That as soon as his mission is over, he’ll run straight home to you.

When he was still in town, he’d usually return to the shop by sunset. Yellows, oranges, and pinks would color the sky in a beautiful twilight, basking the town with a golden glow as he makes his way back to you. Every afternoon, you’d be the first to welcome him back, stepping out of the shop to meet him outside. All the anxiousness and worry melt away the moment your eyes lock with his and you see him running toward you.

Sometimes, he’d throw his pack aside and pull you into a tight hug. Sometimes, you’d trip over your feet to reach him first. Despite how hard the day is, no matter how tired and sweaty he is, or how busy you’ve been, nothing else matters as you both end up in each other’s arms.

You have no idea when Seokjin is coming back this time.

But every afternoon, you still come out of the shop to welcome him home.

Most of the time, one of the other boys keeps you company while you’re waiting. Other times, you keep yourself busy by sweeping the steps, watering the flowers, or hanging up laundry to air-dry. But lately, you’ve just been sitting on the steps of the shop and watching the sunset, wishing that Seokjin was there to share this moment with you.

“Do you think he’ll come back today?” Jungkook asks, sitting next to you on the steps. Even though there’s plenty of space around you, he’s huddled close to your side.

You smile a bit and lean on his shoulder. “I don’t know. I hope so.”

Jungkook hums, shifting around and pulling you closer to him so that you’re both comfortable. Out of all the boys, it’s Jungkook that comes out and waits with you the most. He helps you with the chores, he sings and shares a drink with you, he fits you between his legs and in his arms as the sun disappears and the air gets colder. You know part of it is because he’s adamant about spending more time with you, but you also know it’s because he misses Seokjin too.

All of you do.

Everyone has felt his absence since Seokjin has been away. It’s hard to walk past his room in the hallway and know that it’s empty. Or to eat dinner together and see the vacant spot at the table where he sits. You miss his silliness, his dramatic antics, the sound of his laughter, the sweetness of his smile seconds before he does something completely unhinged.

The sun dips lower and lower, and night begins to color the skies in dark blues and purples. More of the boys come out for a bit, and Jimin crosses over to say hello. The conversations between you and the boys drift from one topic to another, until Hoseok invites Jimin to eat dinner at the shop. The moon and stars appear in the sky, and one by one, the boys begin to head back inside.

Until it’s just you and Jungkook again.

“Come on, you two. It’s getting cold,” Namjoon says, opening the door to the shop. The light and warmth from inside feel welcoming compared to the chilly air around you.

“Maybe he’ll be home tomorrow?” Jungkook suggests, helping you to your feet.

“Maybe,” you reply, a bit sullen. You try not to look too disappointed as Jungkook wraps his arm around you and starts to lead you inside.

Just as you’re about to cross the threshold, you hear the sound of footsteps running toward you guys. The three of you look at the source of the sound and your eyes widen as you feel Jungkook’s arm suddenly slip off you. He sounds a bit choked up as he utters, “Jin-hyung?”

Hoseok passes by at that moment, most-likely to check on you and Jungkook as well. His eyes widen at what he hears. “Jin’s here? He’s home?”

Inside, there’s a commotion of chaos as the others stop what they’re doing and rush to the door. And sure enough, after some time apart, Seokjin is finally standing before you. The cold air makes his breath visible and his face is a bit flushed from running. 

He looks exhausted and travel-worn, but he’s as handsome as ever. “I’m ba–”

You don’t give him a chance to finish his sentence as you throw yourself at him, so happy and relieved that you’re nearly in tears. The others follow after you, greeting him with long hugs and affectionate squeezes. Seokjin keeps you close to him, one arm around you as he uses his free hand to return their greetings. As the excitement starts to spill back inside, Seokjin finally turns his attention back to you.

“I missed you,” you tell him, gently caressing his handsome face.

“Not as much as I missed you,” he replies, and he kisses you like he’s been waiting forever to have you in his arms again.

Tonight, the shop is the liveliest it’s been in a while.

Hoseok serves his best brews, and it isn’t long until the table is surrounded by flushed, giddy faces. The food Yoongi has made is extra delicious, and he smiles shyly but proudly when he receives compliments for his work. There’s loud chatter and laughter, and having the eight of you all together again fills you with a warm feeling that can’t be anything else but love.

Tonight, Namjoon keeps the shop closed. The curtains are drawn, the doors are locked, and a sign on the window reads that it isn’t open. Regulars frown and try to peer inside, wondering what’s happened. And perhaps, through the disguising glamor of a quiet and empty building, they’d see all of you have moved to the parlor.

“Tell us about your mission, hyung,” Jungkook asks, eyes wide with excitement.

“I’d rather talk about what you guys have been up to,” Seokjin replies, shaking his head slightly. “I’m sure you guys will hear more about it in the morning anyway.”

“That bad, huh?” Jimin asks with an arched eyebrow.

Seokjin grimaces as he takes a swig of his drink. The heat of the alcohol burns his throat as he swallows. “To put it lightly, I think the Freelancers are done.”

You all look at him in shock. “Really? What happened?”

“Decisions were made, and the guild split up,” Seokjin vaguely explains, though it only makes you all even more curious. “The good news is that I’m technically on a vacation now. I think I know how I want to spend it, too.”

Tonight, Seokjin unpacks from his long mission and begins to sort through the things he wants to take back to his hometown. As he tries to remember the things his parents and brother like, he hears a knock on the door.

He doesn’t need to turn around to know that it’s you.

“It’s nice to pass by and see that you’re here,” you tell him quietly as you step inside. The room is as pretty as he is, iridescently white walls and floorings that match the soft pastel furniture. Tables made of glass and light fixtures made of crystal. The room hasn’t changed since he’s been away, but you see small souvenirs of his travels on a shelf. Subtle things like the alpaca doll Namjoon snuck into his pack, a super tuna charm made of wood, toadstool mushrooms in a jar. “I’m sorry about the Freelancers. I know the guild was really important to you.”

“I’ll survive,” he says, coming to wrap his arms around you. He places a kiss on the crook of your neck, breathing in your scent as he holds you close. “I thought about you all the time.”

“Yeah? In what way?” you ask cheekily, and Seokjin laughs as you turn to face him.

Tonight, Seokjin shows you exactly, making up for lost time. You shudder as his soft, plush lips worships your body, how his large hands feel against your heated skin. Your soft moans and sighs only encourage him as you guide his hand down between your legs, whispering against his lips for him to touch you. Moonlight bathes upon your skin as he hovers over you, watching your reaction as his fingers slip inside you. There’s something addicting to the way pleasure is shown on your face, how warm and wet you are just with his fingers pumping in and out of you. How incredibly good you feel when he replaces his fingers with his cock. 

He feels your nails scratching his back as his steady pace quickens, his thrusts become a bit harsher, and he adjusts your legs over his shoulders so he could go deeper. Your little mewls and whimpers become progressively louder as you arch your back and clench around him. And Seokjin moans loudly when he nearly climaxes when you do,

You feel him pull out of you, and his fingers easily slide into you again. You twitch a little and whine out his name, a bit sensitive. But Seokjin smiles warmly and kisses you. “One more, beautiful. Can you do that for me?”

Tomorrow, all hell will break loose once word goes out about the Freelancers. But tonight, Seokjin puts that behind him. Tonight, he puts his attention all on you.

Word about the demise of the Freelancers spreads around town like a wildfire.

Two brothers, who once stood together in the face of danger, are now enemies in a competitive race to gain more influence and success to be the bigger, better guild. Many are loyal to the mission of the reformed Freelancers, and all the hard work Adnan has done to keep his family’s legacy. But there are just as many people who are equally willing to throw away their values and morals to join Tariq’s side, the admired and well-respected war hero of New Haven.

And Seokjin, like many others in the guild, is caught between the crossfires.

“Stay inside today,” Seokjin tells you and the others after explaining the details of his mission. Things he couldn’t say in front of Jimin without exposing any of them, He sees the expression on each of your faces when he described the creature, the mages in the woods, and how Tariq wants to bring them into his guild. He sees the sadness, anger, and weariness in each of you, and how the same thought crosses all your minds: that what had happened to those mages could’ve easily happened to you.

“Especially you, Taehyung,” Hoseok adds seriously, meeting his gaze. 

No one knows how the town will react to the news, but the raven familiar has already dealt with angry mobs and burning stakes a lifetime ago. He shouldn’t have to witness history repeating itself with another mage.

“I’ll be fine,” he replies, but holds you a little tighter to him, afraid to let you go. Seokjin sees your subtle nod when Namjoon mouths for you to stay with Taehyung.

A heavy weight fills Seokjin’s heart as he imagines the awful things that would be said about the captured mages. And how those words, in turn, would hurt any of you.

“We’ll be careful, Jin. Don’t worry about us,” Hoseok assures him with a tiny shrug. “It’s nothing we haven’t heard before. The wardens at Blackstone used to say a lot worse.”

“The wardens used to do a lot worse,” you add on quietly, looking at Seokjin. He visibly stiffens as he remembers those men harassing you at the castle, of the reasons Adriel became Wicked in the first place. It makes him worry that those captured mages could be going through something equally worse by the hands of Tariq and his men.

“What’s going to happen to those mages?” Yoongi asks with a frown.

“That’s what I’m going to find out.”

As much as he wants to take you all away to his hometown where it’s safe and away from this mess, he can’t, without good conscience, just skip town when people are in trouble. When he is the only one who understands their situation better than anyone.

“I love you. Be safe,” you tell him before he goes, caressing his face. He kisses you deeply and promises that he’ll come back to you.

Seokjin isn’t sure what he’s expecting when he heads out, but he knows it’s going to be a mess. Jimin catches his eye from across the street. His face is unreadable as he informs him, “There’s something going on at the town square.”

“Yeah, I told them to lay low and keep the shop closed,” Seokjin briskly explains as he makes his way to the square. Jimin follows after him, only a couple steps behind. “Things are going to be pretty rowdy today.”

“Is it true what Tariq has done? He brought mages into New Haven?”

Seokjin stops so abruptly that Jimin runs into him. He turns to face the florist, trying to keep his expression neutral. “Is that a problem?”

For a very brief second, Jimin looks conflicted. But he says, “No. It isn’t.”

Two mortals stare at each other, once on the same ground when Seokjin was still a warden, and now, assumingly, on opposite sides. Raised Devoted, Seokjin has been warned all his life about the evils of magic and mages, but it isn’t until he met you that his heart has changed. That magic could be beautiful and mages can be kind. But Jimin doesn’t know your secrets or the shop’s affinity with the unnatural. If he did, would he still oppose you all? Or would he stand together with Seokjin again?

“Seokjin? You’re here?”

Both of them turn and, to his surprise, Jaehwan is there. Seokjin hasn’t seen his friends since the guild had split up with the others choosing to follow Adnan. He offers a small smile, but it quickly fades when he sees the concerned look on Jaehwan’s face. “What’s wrong?”

“You better come to the town square. It’s getting bad.”

The last time the town square was this crowded, there was a fair for the guilds to bring in new recruits. People far and wide came to New Haven with the promise of new adventures, meeting new comrades, honing their skills, and opportunities for wealth. The eagerness and excitement from that day is still fresh in Seokjin’s mind.

Riots fill the streets. Opposing sides are brawling against each other and damaging property. Some are trying to contain the crowd, but their demands fall on deaf ears as arguments continue to escalate. A mob of people form around the stage where Tariq and the mages are. Vile things are shouted to their faces. Garbage and food are thrown at them. Even from his distance, Seokjin can see the mages are still cuffed with bonds that suppress their magic, terrified and defenseless.

“What’s happened here?” Seokjin asks when he, Jimin, and Jaehwan join the rest of Team Seokjin. They looked relieved to see him, happy that the team is reunited again, though they clearly wish it was under better circumstances.

“Tariq is holding a demonstration,” Byulyi informs stiffly.

Seokjin’s eyebrows furrow together. “A what?”

“Fear not, friends. The New Order – our new guild – will have everything under control,” Tariq assures the crowd, as if the hatred isn’t directed at them. “Soon, we won’t have to look at these mages as enemies, but as allies. I’ve seen with my own eyes what they can become once they unlock their full potential. Together, with the mages, The New Order will be an unstoppable force.”

“He’s truly gone mad,” Jaehwan murmurs with a frown. Even Jimin stiffens slightly at what Tariq is implying.

The younger brother suddenly grabs the male mage and drags him away from the others. He seems to be commanding him to do something, and the male shakes his head and trembles. At his refusal, Tariq extends his hand toward one of his lackeys, who gives him a cat o’ nine tails whip.

The first strike has the entire crowd silenced. Heeyeon gasps and covers her mouth, eyes wide. Junghwan’s jaw falls open. Byulyi and Sunwoo avert their gaze immediately once they realize what’s happening. The others are stunned in a mix of shock and horror. 

The second strike, Seokjin doesn’t even think. He doesn’t realize he’s making his way toward the crowd to stop them until he feels his friends pull him back.

But it’s after the third strike when the male mage finally gives in. On a clear, cloudless day in New Haven, the weather changes. Snow begins to fall from the sky.

Seokjin is taken back to that day in the library of Blackstone Castle, where you showed him the beauty of your magic for the first time. How you remembered that he liked the snow, but hated the cold, and made a winter wonderland for him.

This time, as Seokjin sees the snow fall, he feels sick to his stomach.

Tariq has proven his point. The mages, through methods of torture and pain, are under his command. One hint of disobedience, and he’ll be sure to break them physically and mentally. The public flogging is only a small taste of the lengths Tariq would do, and if they are successful, they’ll recruit more mages. Under the guise of equality and freedom, the mages who join would be doomed to a fate worse than imprisonment in their heavily-guarded fortresses.

When Seokjin became a warden, he was taught that he needed to protect people from the mages. Over time, he’s learned that it’s the other way around. In many cases, it’s the mages that need protecting.

“You’re not going to work for that guy, are you?” Junghwan asks him as the crowd around them begin to disperse. 

“Even though they’re mages, that’s still too cruel,” Sunwoo quietly agrees with a frown. It seems like the others share the same sentiment. Many mages get locked away as soon as they awaken their powers, so it wouldn’t surprise Seokjin if his friends have never seen a mage until now.

“I’m not going to work for him. But I can’t let him keep hurting those mages,” Seokjin decides as his gaze turns to Jimin. The florist has been awfully quiet.

Jimin meets his gaze, but his expression is unreadable. Then, quietly, he asks, “Why do you care so much about them? You’re only human.”

“I care because I’m human. Whatever your stance with magic is, I don’t care, but this isn’t right. Mages are humans like us. They bleed the same as we do. They feel the same emotions: fear, anger, joy, sadness, love.” Seokjin holds himself back, almost slipping that Jimin, of all people, would know this as much as he does. He looks at his other friends and tells them, “I understand if you guys see me differently because of this. I didn’t join Tariq because I agreed with his methods, but he was the only one in town that had me believe he’d give everyone a fair chance.”

But he was clearly wrong. Tariq treats the mages worse than animals. He doesn’t need to point it out for them to know that.

There’s a short silence that falls between them. Even Jimin frowns in silence as he thinks about what Seokjin said. 

Then, Junghwan looks around and asks, “So, what’s our plan?”

Seokjin blinks at him. “What do you mean?”

Byulyi smiles. “Well, we can’t be Team Seokjin without you, right?”

Unfortunately, it’s impossible for Seokjin’s plan to happen overnight.

First, he’d have to find out where Tariq keeps the mages. Even on their journey back to New Haven, he has them tightly secured and under his control. On the rare occasions Seokjin even saw them, they were never without Tariq or any of his trusted men.

Taehyung perches on Seokjin’s shoulder when he attends the first guild meeting of the New Order. Tariq rambles on about his vision of the future: conquering quests and vanquishing foes with magic, expanding overseas, having a powerful army under his command. When the meeting is finally adjourned, the raven follows the leader of the New Order.

It isn’t until later that evening when Taehyung returns and informs, “He keeps them in a cellar. There’s a key to it around his neck.”

“That’s going to be hard to get,” Hoseok points out with a frown.

“What are things that Tariq likes?” Namjoon asks Seokjin.

“Fighting, coins, beer, women,” Seokjin lists, then pauses. Several gazes drift to you.

“No fucking way,” Yoongi hisses, standing in front of you. “We’re not going to use her to be objectified by those people.”

“It’s fine, Yoongi. I want to help,” you assure him, gently rubbing his back. You can tell the others are uncomfortable with the idea as well. “I just have to talk to the guy until someone gets the key, right?”

“Flirting would help,” Namjoon adds, a bit regretful for even bringing it up with the way his jaw clenches at the idea. He glances at your breasts and mutters, “Showing some cleavage too.”

“Namjoon!” Hoseok snaps.

“It’s a suggestion!” he shouts, throwing his hands up in defense. “Her body is nice! I really like it!”

“You don’t have to do this, angel. I’m planning on asking Byulyi and Heeyeon to help too,” Seokjin reminds you, taking our hand in his.

“I can take care of myself,” you assure him, squeezing his hand. More quietly, you ask, “You’ll watch over me, right?”

Just as softly, he promises, “I always do.”

“Good.” You lean back with a smile. “Because if this Tariq guy tries anything, you might have to hold me back from taking him down.”

Seokjin laughs and kisses your hand. “I would love to see it.”

Then, he’d need to figure out how to break them free without anyone noticing. With all of New Haven knowing that there are mages in the town, it feels like everyone is high on alert. Keeping them in the shop is out of the question. Seokjin doesn’t want to risk anyone recognizing them and putting you and the others in danger. 

“My uncle might be able to get them out of town,” Jaehwan tells him when Team Seokjin reunites after the demonstration. “He travels pretty often, so he rarely keeps up with news about the town and the guilds. If we can pitch in some coins, I’m sure he won’t mind dropping them off on his next trip.”

“I know a lady who might be able to take them in for a few days,” Byulyi quietly brings up with a sad smile. “Her daughter had an awakening. She couldn’t do anything to stop the wardens from separating them, but she’s helped a couple mages since then.”

Seokjin nods, feeling a bit hopeful. Maybe this can all work out after all.

As they pass through the marketplace, someone catches Sunwoo’s attention. He nudges Junghwan, who looks over. “Whoa, who’s that?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve seen her around town before,” Sunwoo says, eyes glued to someone in the crowd. “Do you reckon she’s new?”

Seokjin doesn’t know who they’re talking about, but as he looks up, his heart flutters at who he does see.

You.

Unexpectedly, you’re by the fruit stand, carefully examining apples before placing them into your basket with some eggs and flour. At your ankles is Yoongi in his cat form, seemingly having a staring contest with a toddler who keeps trying to pull away from her mother to pet him.

Like a moth to flame, and much to his friends’ surprise, Seokjin walks straight toward you. “Hey, sweetheart, what are you doing here?”

“Oh, Jin! Hello.” You smile happily when you see him, equally surprised to be running into him at this time. “I’m thinking of baking apple pastries for the boys. Want to help me make them?”

“I’m busy right now,” he tells you, and it’s then that you notice that he’s with company. “But if you haven’t started when I get home, I’ll help.”

“Okay.” You wave hello to the group that are just staring at you two. A mix of shy smiles and knowing smirks are on their faces as they wave back.

“Ah, I should introduce you,” Seokjin scolds himself as he places his hand on the small of your back and faces his friends. He tells you each of their names. “Guys, this is—”

“Your wife?” Jaehwan finishes.

“Wife?” you repeat as Seokjin’s eyes widen.

“Ah. The neck-biter.” Heeyeon states with a glint in her eyes. Seokjin’s entire face feels incredibly hot as you look at him, thoroughly confused.

“Jin, what are they talking ab—”

“Honey, I don’t think you have enough ingredients in your basket. Why don’t you buy more apples?” he interrupts, giving you his entire pocket money. Even in his cat form, he could swear he saw Yoongi rolling his eyes.

You blink in surprise, but laugh in disbelief. “Sure. I’ll see you at home, husband.”

If Seokjin was a mage, he’d probably have the ground swallow him whole right then and there. There’s still a curious look on your face as you kiss him briefly and wave goodbye to his friends. But for now, you don’t question it. Instead, you pick up Yoongi and turn your attention back to the elderly woman selling apples.

Byulyi throws him a knowing smile. “So, that’s her huh?”

“Yeah, that’s her,” Seokjin confirms bashfully, rubbing his neck.

“No wonder he always wants to go home after missions,” Junghwan comments. “I would too if my wife was that pretty.”

It will also take time for Seokjin to get into Tariq’s good graces, have him trust him enough not to warrant any suspicions. Without a team, it’s harder to do these difficult missions alone. It also doesn’t feel good biding his time while he knows that mages are suffering the longer he stalls.

“Here.”

“What’s this?” Seokjin asks, taking the map from Jimin. It’s of New Haven, but there are certain areas that are marked and circled.

“Those are the coordinates of hunter territories,” Jimin carefully explains as Seokjin’s eyes widen. “If you’re going to sneak those mages out, you need to avoid those areas. Especially during the witching hour.”

“How did you find this?” he asks, a bit baffled. He hadn’t even considered hunters would be patrolling around as well. “Did you steal it from a hunter?”

Jimin merely shrugs. “I want to help too.”

“Thank you! This is really helpful!” Seokjin praises as he continues to look it over. He notices that each hunter has initials, and frowns when he sees just how many there are in New Haven now. Ever since Blackstone Castle’s fall, it seems more of them have moved into town.

His eyes linger to where the shop is and notices that there’s a designated hunter marked there too. At least, there was. Black ink crosses out the initials, but if Seokjin were to hold the map up under a certain light, he might be able to read it.

J.M.

But finally, things are starting to fall into place. They only have one shot to get this right, and failure is not an option.

Everything goes according to plan.

After a successful quest, the New Order has taken over the shop’s tavern. A feast fit for kings is being served to them, as well as endless rounds of ale and lager. Music plays a lively tune in the background of the boisterous laughter and noisy chatter. The shop’s residents are all in position: Namjoon behind the counter, Yoongi cooking in the kitchen, Hoseok tending the bar, Taehyung in charge of entertainment and setting the mood, Jungkook standing guard and forcibly escorting people out when they’ve have too much. And then, there’s you.

You’re doing your usual tasks as well: cleaning tables, serving food and drinks, collecting coins after meals, and chatting up customers. Tonight, you pay extra attention to the leader of the New Order, smiling sweetly and fluttering your eyelashes when he speaks. You indulge in his stories of his latest conquests, fascinated with how the war-time hero managed to save his men from perilous dangers, and fake-laugh your way through his flirtatious advances. Sometimes, you’d follow Namjoon’s advice and subtly push out your chest or sway your hips when he has his eye on you.

And it’s working. Perhaps, a little too well. 

You have Tariq’s full attention. But Seokjin can’t stop staring at you either.

When you pass by, Seokjin waves you over. When you’re close enough, he motions you down and asks against your ear, “How’s it going?”

“Hard,” you admit, keeping your voice low as if you’re afraid one of the patrons would eavesdrop in the conversation. “I feel so awkward.”

Seokjin pulls back and looks around the tavern. Most of Tariq’s crew are starting to pass out from gluttony. The delicious food and alcohol that keep coming from the kitchen and bar make it too easy to overindulge. One bite sends tastebuds to euphoria; one sip has them craving for more. Listening carefully, it isn’t just the music that’s playing on a loop, but so is the sound of their laughter and chatter, making it hard to tell that one by one, Tariq’s men are starting to surrender to their slumber.

Part of it could be from eating and drinking too much. But more-likely, it’s from the sleep powder Yoongi and Hoseok have slowly been slipping into their food and drinks. With bellies full and their thirst quenched, they won’t remember anything when they wake: not the shop, not any of your faces, and not what will transpire tonight.

Tariq, none the wiser, sits in the middle of the tavern. He doesn’t notice that his men are slowly disappearing, being escorted by Namjoon and Jungkook into a mysterious door at the entrance of the shop. He doesn’t notice how one chef and one bartender could produce such a quantity of excellent foods and drinks within seconds, or that they’ve been tampered with. He doesn’t notice the seamlessly endless loop of music, ambiguous chatter, clinks of utensils, and faint laughter around him as Taehyung steps away from the parlor to assist you.

All Tariq can focus on is you. He can’t take his eyes off you. The glamor spell you put on yourself makes it hard for him to look away.

“Could’ve fooled me. You’re a natural,” Seokjin replies, turning his gaze back to you. Then, more seriously, he reminds you, “If you start to feel uncomfortable, we can call it off and go with another plan.”

“I’m okay because you’re here,” you tell him honestly. You trust Seokjin more than anyone, and he feels his heart race at your words as you smile at him softly. So sweet and innocent. Then, you lean toward his ear again and confess, “Besides, I pretend that it’s you I’m trying to seduce.”

His eyes widen, frozen from shock, as you casually pull away and return to your duties. He feels his entire face flush red as you look over your shoulder and smirk at him.

Perhaps, you’re having more fun with this than he initially thought.

The little exchange between you two doesn’t go unnoticed. Tariq suddenly waves for him to sit at his table. The key to the cellar hangs around his neck. Seokjin sees it as he slips into the seat in front of him.

“She’s a pretty little thing, isn’t she?” Tariq inquires, gesturing at you with a nod of his head. “I saw you eyeing her all evening.”

“She’s beautiful,” Seokjin replies sincerely. With or without the glamor, Seokjin always thought you were attractive. He sees you working hard for the remaining guests, asking Taehyung to clear out a couple tables while a group calls you for more drinks.

“You like her, huh? Don’t worry. I won’t tell your wife,” Tariq jokes with a sly smile. A rush of heat colors Seokjin’s face red. He’s forgotten how everyone in the Freelancers, including Tariq and his friends, think he’s a married man. “I think she might have a sweet spot for me. I told her I’m going to change the world by bringing mages into the guilds. She asked me how that’s possible, and you know what I said?”

“What?”

“Control,” he casually answers with a sadistic glint in his eye. “You have to put them under your thumb. Let them know their place. These mages are vicious forces, and they have the power over all things natural and unnatural. Humans like us have to show them who is in command.”

“Or you could respect them,” Seokjin counters with a frown. “Mages are humans too.”

As a former warden, Seokjin has seen the abuse of power over mages first-hand. How worthless their lives are to the Devoted, who weed them out through Harrowings and false claims of corruption. Eventually, the mages will fight back. Like Adriel. Like the forest mage. And, inevitably, like you.

Tariq scoffs and waves you over. “Funny. She said the same thing.”

“Hello, sir. What can I get for you?” you direct your question to Tariq, but your eyes flicker briefly to Seokjin. The two of you are pretending not to know each other – the less Tariq and his men know about his personal connections to the shop, the better – but Seokjin can tell that you’re a little nervous.

“I just wanted to let you know that my buddy thinks you’re very beautiful,” Tariq tells you, trying to tease Seokjin.

You turn to him with a knowing smile. “Does he?”

“I do,” he replies, honest. Without thinking, his hand reaches out from under the table to touch the back of your leg. You nearly jump from contact, throwing him a bewildered look, but Seokjin remains cool, calm, and collected. There’s a small, smug smirk on his lips. Payback for what you told him earlier.

“I think he’s very handsome too,” you say, a bit flustered. It’s cute that you’re trying not to let him affect you. But he can feel the way your body tenses beneath his fingertips, how forced your smile is as you look at him nervously because Tariq is right there.

Seokjin doesn’t know what’s gotten into him. When he reached out, he meant to just comfort you, let you know that he’s there if you need him. Maybe it’s because you’re flirting with another man. Maybe it’s the way Tariq is looking at you. But the way Seokjin’s fingers tease up the hem of your dress becomes a bit possessive. A subtle reminder that, at the end of the day, you’re still his.

“Two ales for me and the kid, pretty thing,” Tariq finally orders, unaware of what’s going on with you two.

“I’ll be right back with your drinks,” you tell him with a pleasant smile, and nudge Seokjin’s hand away. As you turn to leave, you shoot him a look. And Seokjin has the audacity to wink back at you.

“I think she might have a sweet spot for you too,” Tariq comments as he watches you leave. His gaze lingers a little too long for Seokjin’s liking. “How was your mission?”

“It went well. As expected,” Seokjin lies with ease. Before coming to the shop, he was personally tasked to take care of some goons Tariq had a hit on. People he suspects are conspiring against him. Little does he know, Seokjin plans to do the same.

You give Hoseok the order, both of you eyeing the table where Tariq and Seokjin are. When Seokjin gives the signal – a very slight nod of his head – Hoseok grabs two clean glasses and fills them with ale.

“I knew I could count on you,” Tariq continues with a proud smile. Instead of killing them off, Seokjin had warned them of Tariq’s intentions and told them to skip town for a while. “I think you have the potential of being a great guild leader one of these days.”

“You think so?”

Seokjin watches as Hoseok sprinkles a light-blue powder in one of the drinks and mixes it in. A faint smoke emerges from it, indicating that it’s been tampered with.

“I see a lot of myself in you, kid. You’re driven, strong, and with a good head. You’re not influenced by the bullshit ideals that my brother and most of the town believes.” He pauses as he looks at Seokjin curiously. “Are you Devoted?”

“I was raised to be, but my beliefs don’t align with the teachings anymore.”

Before he hands the drinks to you, Hoseok tells you which one is which. You nod your head, making sure you don’t mix them up as you start to walk toward their table.

“Good. Same as me,” Tariq agrees with an approving nod. “The Devoted like to think their war against the mages is a noble cause, but at the end of the day, war is nothing but death and destruction. It doesn’t matter if the enemies you’re against are magical or not. I hope your family doesn’t give you a hard time about it like mine does.”

“Here you go. Two ales,” you announce as you place the cold drinks in front of them. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”

“I think we’re good for now,” Seokjin answers, looking at you with a softer expression. The hardest part is almost over. It’ll be easy to snatch the key around his neck once the potion hits. “Thank you.”

“This is an interesting place you found here, kid,” Tariq tells him, looking around the shop. Something about this place feels so whimsical and enchanting. “I know New Haven like the back of my head, but I’ve never been here before. It’s almost magical.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Seokjin chuckles and raises his glass to Tariq. “To the New Order and to you, Tariq.”

“To the New Order.”

Clink.

Their glasses touch and they take a drink. For a moment, the loop of music and background ambiance stops. It’s quiet, and the shop’s residents watch as the golden liquid slides down Tariq’s throat. He finishes the last drop, and once he sets down the glass, everything resumes as normal. The lively tune plays on, and all of you are back to work and taking care of the remaining customers.

Everything is going exactly as planned.

Until it doesn’t.

“You’re really working that thing, aren’t you?”

Nearby, a group of drunk men have turned their attention to you. Seokjin sees their hungry stares before you meet their gaze. The way their eyes trail up and down your body, lingering blatantly on your ass and tits. He sees their smirks and hears their snickers as another man faces you and pats his leg. “Yeah, why don’t you take a break and sit with us, sweet thing?”

Seokjin feels his whole body tense up, ready to step in and snap at them to leave you alone. Tariq watches as well, more humored than angry, as his men drunkenly cat-call you and make lewd remarks.

“No, no. I’m quite busy,” you tell them firmly. Your eyes lock with Seokjin as well, a wordless assurance that you can handle yourself.

In situations like this, Namjoon would take over certain tables when they become too rowdy. He’d be the one who’d calmly but sternly have them wrap things up before they cause a scene. Before things escalate.

“Don’t be like that, baby. Come on. Give us a smile. We’re just trying to be nice.”

But Namjoon, nor any of the other boys, have realized what’s happening yet. 

The men chuckle darkly, and the way that they continue to undress you with their eyes makes Seokjin’s blood boil. It’s subtle, but the lights around the shop flicker briefly, as if a breeze has just passed through. As if the shop senses your uneasiness.

“I think you’ve all had enough to drink,” you start, glaring at the men before you.

“For a pretty girl, you sure are a bitch with a smart mouth,” one guy remarks as he suddenly grabs your arm. “Instead of talking back, why don’t I show you what else your mouth can—”

Ice-cold water from a canister is unceremoniously dumped on his head. The man instantly lets you go, and Taehyung pulls you close to him. Soaking wet, the man turns to the raven familiar and the empty canister in his hand.

With a blank face, Taehyung casually tells him, “It looks like you need to cool off.”

“Asshole!” the man snaps, getting into Taehyung’s face. A plate shatters to the ground, causing the remaining patrons – and the other residents of the shop – to stop what they’re doing and see what’s going on.

Taehyung remains unfazed by his aggression, but moves you behind him. 

Before Seokjin realizes what he’s doing, he suddenly stands up and makes his way toward you two before the others do. He pushes the man away from Taehyung. 

“Back off. Don’t you dare touch them.”

“Didn’t you see what this fucker did? If this little slut—”

The man yelps in pain when Seokjin suddenly grabs the front of his shirt and shoves him hard against the table. Plates and utensils clatter, and drinks spill over. Tension rises as the friends he was eating with stand up as well.

“I’m only going to warn you one more time,” Seokjin informs, his voice low and with an anger you’ve rarely seen in him. “Leave my friends alone, or I won’t hesitate to run a sword through you.”

Stubbornly, the man grits his teeth and clenches his hand into a fist. “Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?”

“Guys, that’s enough. Apologize to the pretty lady and her friends,” Tariq commands as the fist comes close to Seokjin’s jaw. The man looks ready to argue, but even he knows he can’t go against the leader’s orders. And once a half-hearted apology is made, Tariq continues to look at Seokjin curiously. “It seems you know about this shop and the people here more than you let on, kid.”

Seokjin doesn’t know when, but all the other boys are suddenly with you. Jungkook cracks his neck, mouth twitching as he stares at the group with darkened eyes. Yoongi stares at the group with a look that could put a wrath demon to shame. Hoseok has his hand firmly on your wrist as Namjoon murmurs for Taehyung to take you to Jimin’s. 

Not because you necessarily need protection.

But because they know how fiercely protective you are of Seokjin.

Seeing the man nearly hit Seokjin made you furious. Seokjin realizes that Hoseok is holding your wrist so you don’t use magic, murmuring against your temple to calm down. Even as Taehyung tugs you to come with him, you refuse to budge. Your eyes are glued to the group of men, and perhaps it’s the lighting, but Seokjin had seen that look on your face once before.

When you almost turned Wicked.

Yoongi steps in front of you, blocking your view of them and Seokjin. Whatever he says to you snaps you out of it. And when Seokjin peeks at you, your eyes are still the same. No trace of golden Wickedness in your irises. Even though you’re still angry and refuse to leave him out of your sight.

“I should’ve known this was some kind of set up,” Tariq begins, laughing in disbelief. “What’s this all about, Seokjin? Do you want money? Glory? Who the hell are these people anyway?”

Seokjin turns to him. In a tavern where most of his men have been knocked out, and where the remaining will soon forget, a truth is revealed. “This is my family.”

“Looks more like a coven to me,” Tariq states, eyeing the others. It starts to make sense to him why Seokjin picked his side over his brother’s. Why he seemed so concerned about the mages to begin with. “Is this about the demonstration? You’re upset that I hurt one of your kind, aren’t you?”

“Boss…” the man behind Seokjin croaks out, voice heavy with sleep. He wobbles on his feet and his eyes roll to the back of his head before the spell overcomes him.

One by one, the others start to fall into a deep sleep as well. And it’s only then that Tariq realizes he’s the last man standing. Without his crew, and for the first time in a very long while, Tariq looks terrified. “What have you done? What did you do to us?”

“Don’t worry. You won’t remember,” Seokjin assures him, stepping closer to him. “Not this shop, not any of our faces, not even the mages you tortured after the mission. To you, it will be just a dream. And you and your men will travel far from here and won’t harm another mage again. Am I clear?”

Tariq nods his head, eyes glazed over as the command settles in. His body begins to relax, fall sluggish, and then he slowly starts to slip to the ground. Already, the faces of Seokjin, you, and the others begin to blur before his eyes. Memories start to escape him. He wants to travel, get out of town, sail the seas, but to where?

“Good,” Seokjin finishes, holding out his hand as the hypnosis takes its effect completely and Tariq begins to pass out. “Now hand me the key around your neck.”

In the dark and damp cellar, three mages are barely alive. Old and fresh wounds are all over their bodies, and it feels like months since they’ve eaten anything but scraps of moldy bread or rusty water. They’ve lost count of their days, but at this point, anything is better than this hell, even the Veil itself.

A flinch of fear twitches in their bodies when the sound of the cellar key unlocks. It must be that man again, coming to torture them more, until they’re obedient like dogs to use as tools for his quests.

“Are you guys in here?”

One of the women dares to lift her head, seeming to recognize the voice calling out to the darkness. Her voice is barely a whisper when she answers, “Yes, we’re here.”

Light shines upon them like a candle of hope. And Seokjin is holding the torch. He looks relieved to see them, to see that they’re still alive, but frowns at the urgent conditions they’re in. He reaches into his satchel and pulls out small vials. “These should help a little.”

As the liquid touches their lips, they’re surprised. It’s a healing potion.

Already, the warm and rejuvenating effects surges an energy in them. Pain melts away in an instant. Life starts to shine back into their eyes. It’s a small and temporary fix, but it’s the best they’ve felt in ages.

With stiff and sore joints and muscles, they help each other out of the dark cellar and under the bright moon and its blanket of stars. Tears fall from the male mage’s eyes as he leans his weight on his friend, barely able to walk on his own. The team Seokjin was with is there to meet them, and Seokjin explains that they will help them safely get out of town and to a place where they can stay for a little while.

There is another group with them as well. Two male mages, one female mage, and their familiars. Another human is with them too, astonished by an entire guild of ruthless, cutthroat men snoring away as you all help carry them into Tariq’s house.

“Is that them?” the female mage that Seokjin had talked to after the mission inquires, looking at you all. Seokjin follows her gaze and sees Jungkook flexing to impress you before he hoists one of the bodies over his shoulder.

“Yeah. That’s my family.”

“Family, huh? That’s nice,” she continues. Despite how hectic and draining the night has been, you laugh and playfully smack Jungkook as you follow him inside. It’s once the two of you are out of sight where she finally looks away. “You know, I don’t think I’ve ever gotten your name.”

“Ah, that’s right. My name is Seokjin,” he says, a bit embarrassed that he had planned a whole rescue mission and didn’t even properly introduce himself yet. “And you?”

She smiles. “You can call me Lilah.”

“We’ve been here for hours and we didn’t catch anything,” Taehyung whines, visibly glum that the group decided to return back empty-handed. Hoseok chuckles and pats his shoulder to comfort him.

“It was still fun. I liked it,” Yoongi admits as Seokjin practically beams at him.

“What about you, honey? Did you like it?” he asks you, hoping you had a good time. Though, he can’t help but feel a bit disappointed that your first fishing trip together wasn’t as action-packed as he’d like.

“I won’t lose points with your parents if we show up without a fish?” you ask him, half-joking but also like you’re ready to go back out there and use magic to lure in the biggest catch if he says you would.

“Don’t worry,” Jimin says, putting his arm around you. “We can go to the market, buy a fish there, and say we caught it.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Namjoon mutters, thinking about it.

“Oh! I want to look at the marketplace here!” Jungkook states, eyes wide with interest when he realizes there might be new food to try in this small town.

Seokjin laughs. “We can go check some places out, but we’re not lying to my parents.”

The trip that Seokjin has been wanting to take you all to was finally happening. After saving up for it, and pushing it back, all of you have arrived at his small, fisherman town. Not much has changed since he left, and his parents were surprised that he had returned home with so many people eager to meet them.

But after they received his letters, they were equally eager to meet you. The one who changed their son to be a braver, more open-minded man. To see with their own eyes that their son is still good and hard-working, and is also very-well loved by his new-found family.

After a quick trip to the market, you, Seokjin, and Yoongi prepare a nice dinner for his parents. The rest of your group offer to clean up afterwards. As Seokjin adds vegetables into his stew, he hears his mother call for him to her bedroom.

“This belonged to my grandmother,” she tells him, revealing an old ring she’s been looking for. “When you marry that girl, use this ring.”

Seokjin smiles as he looks at it. He feels touched, surprised, but also sad. Mages aren’t allowed to marry. There won’t be a beautiful ceremony for you and Seokjin that his parents would attend. Giving you the ring won’t change the way things currently are between you and him now.

“I will, Mom. Thank you.”

“It’s beautiful, Jin.”

You look down at the ring around your finger. Under the sunlight, the diamonds sparkle beautifully. It reminds you of stars, and the way the surfaces of clear water glimmer. Coincidentally, it has seven stones embedded in the band.

“Even if it’s just pretend, my mom will be happy when she sees you wear it next time.”

You look up at Seokjin, and you see him staring at the ring as well. It’s a perfect fit. 

A moment of silence passes between you two before you finally ask, “Jin, why do you pretend that we’re married?”

He meets your gaze, a bit embarrassed now. He remembers when you met his friends at the marketplace and how they referred to you as his wife. Awkwardly, he looks away again and rubs his neck. “Oh, they just assumed. I never bothered to correct them.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know.” Maybe it makes him happy to pretend as well.

“Do you want to marry me?”

He sighs. “You know I would if— why are you kneeling?”

When he looks back at you, you’re kneeling on the ground, holding his hand with the ring he had put on your finger. Then, you wrap your pinky around his.

“I don’t know if I’m doing this right,” you tell him, a bit shyly. “But maybe we can find someone who can officiate us. Maybe if the other guys want to be married too, we can include them. Maybe we can find our own way to make it work. But I love you, Kim Seokjin. I truly do. And if you’ll have me, I wouldn’t be opposed to having a worldwide handsome husband either.”

Seokjin stares at you, shocked, happy, and so full of love. He laughs and kneels down with you, holding your face in his hands as he kisses you.

Two weeks later, after you and the others return from the trip, Seokjin meets up with his team at the shop. They look around in awe and wonder before settling in the tavern. It feels strange that it wasn’t that long ago that everything with Tariq had happened.

Now, he’s embarking on a new journey overseas with his trusted men. None of them remember what had happened after they woke up. Tariq doesn’t even remember why he and his brother have fought, but he had decided that staying in New Haven was no longer what he wanted to do anymore. And Adnan could run the Freelancers however he pleases without arguing with his brother all the time.

Seokjin got word that the mages made it safely to a place, but the one named Lilah had left the group and seemingly disappeared. 

The other boys were upset that Seokjin didn’t give them a head’s up about giving you the ring or the proposal, but none of them were opposed to the idea of marrying you eventually either. Even Jimin returned to the flower shop and muttered about trying to find a ring that he had somewhere.

“Here’s some drinks for everyone,” you announce, setting down the beverages in front of each of them. Seokjin murmurs his thanks and pulls you down for a quick kiss. It makes Byulyi and Junghwan scrunch their noses as Sunwoo, Heeyeon, and Jaehwan smile at him.

“So, you and your wife are doing well,” Heeyeon remarks, resting her chin on the palm of her hand. 

“She’s great. We’re great,” Seokjin confirms with a tiny, shy smile. No one else is at the shop at this time, so you talk to Hoseok at the bar and pet Yoongi, who is sleeping on it in his cat form.

“I guess you could say things have been pretty magical lately?” Jaehwan inquires as Seokjin turns to him, surprised.

Byulyi laughs at his expression. “We figured it out a long time ago, Jin. It’s okay. We won’t tell anyone about them.”

“Oh. Okay.” He sighs with relief. “They’re the reason why I had to save those mages.”

“We know,” Sunwoo says with a smile. “It was kind of nice doing a mission like that. Without Adnan or Tariq. Just us, your mage wife, and your magical friends.”

Junghwan groans. “What are we going to do now? I still want to go on quests with you guys, but I don’t think I want to join the Freelancers again.”

“They’re slowly becoming like any other guild now,” Heeyeon agrees, shaking her head. After the rescue mission, they don’t think they could join another guild that sees mages as enemies either.

Seokjin is quiet as he thinks about the past few months. He used to be traditional, following his orders and duties diligently, listening to words of the Devoted. Now, he’s changed a lot as he thinks about what Tariq said, about how you and him are willing to make things work in your own way, how they’ve all started to see mages as friends and not enemies.

“Why don’t we just make our own guild?” Seokjin suggests, as he looks at his friends before him. They look back at him with interested looks and excited smiles. “We’ve done missions on our own before. We can do it again.”

“Yeah, we can just register as our own guild in the town square and start off by taking missions at the local community board,” Byulyi reasons, already starting to organize it together. “We’ll need a name though. What should we call ourselves?”

Seokjin glances at you and sees all the things he’s promised to you with the ring you wear around your finger. “Let’s call ourselves the Oathkeepers.”

Thank you for reading ♡ Comments & reviews are greatly appreciated!

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#magic shop series #seokjin x reader #seokjin x you #seokjin smut #bts fantasy au #bts smut #bts magic au #bts fanfic #bts witch au

[sapphire-weapon]

my first fictional crush was goku at age maybe 6.

the first fanfiction i ever wrote was FF7. the second one was DBZ. the third was a crossover between them both. i was like. 8 or 9.

in 5th grade, i got in trouble in school for passing handwritten DBZ fanfiction back and forth with the boy who sat front of me in class, and my mom refused to yell at me for it because she was glad that i was doing something creative.

DBZ was one of the things that my brother and i actually did together as kids. we were never close because he's 6 years older than me, but i have distinct memories of coming home from school and he'd be waiting with the next 3 or 4 DBZ episodes he'd downloaded from the internet, japanese fansubbed in english because the english dub hadn't released past the frieza saga yet. so i knew how the series went before any of my friends did. he would also go to chinatown in NYC and come home with bootleg fansubbed VHS tapes of DBZ movies. this was like circa 1999-2001. i still have them at my mom's house.

before i knew that cosplay was a thing that people actually did, i went as pan from DBGT for halloween when i was 12.

when i did find out what cosplay was, i was too afraid to do it properly, so when i went to my first convention at 17 with a boyfriend who did not want to go with me but i made him go anyway (it was AnimeNEXT 2007), i threw together a closet cosplay of a genderbent mirai trunks. and i actually found the fucking picture i took of it in the bathroom at my mom's house.

(that's the closest you're ever going to get to a proper face reveal btw lmao a 17 year old picture of me where you can see more of my tits than my face.)

i then went on to properly redo my pan cosplay, and i cosplayed chichi as well. took a picture at a con with a lil baby like 3 year old who was dressed up as goku. can't find it right now though.

in 2011, i went to anime boston with @feelboss and @theggning and drunkenly ran into sean schemmel (the english voice of goku) and somehow ended up on stage with him later that night, still wasted, at the hentai dubbing panel. faked an orgasm on stage for goku in front of about 200 people. my first fictional crush. probably the most iconic moment of my con-going days. i was 21.

the very first time i was able to use analysis of a character's arc to accurately predict their future portrayal in canon was mirai trunks. when his db super arc aired, i remember just being totally floored like, "i can't believe i actually called so much of this" -- especially considering the fact that DB never really had much of a reputation of being consistent.

i just have so many memories of staying up late with @godtier watching DB and shitposting and RPing bardock and raditz and trolling the fuck out of each other, and just

man DB was such a huge part of my life and just... felt like it was always there for me.

i don't normally mourn celebrity deaths, but i feel like i've spent the last 30 years of my life with akira toriyama. losing him hurts so much. it feels like the world has had a little bit of hope fade away from it. i have a headache from crying.

i know that i would always meme on you for forgetting your own characters, but... thank you, toriyama-san. for everything.

[lyomeii]

Yandere Platonic! Jeremy Agriche vs Yandere Cassis Pedelian

->warnings: yandere theme, spoilers for season finale, manipulation, maria and lante being bad parents,

-> request by @acuriousmoon! Hello! May I request some hcs for a yandere Cassius Pedelian with a gn!reader who is a precious member of the Agriche family? and @hiimarandin! hey it's me again lmao can u do yandere Jeremy from The Series Roxana it doesn't matter if it's platonic or not idc

->a/n: since this two request had similar request, I decided to write them as one and create more caos between the two characters that I love too much, also this is the longest writing i did(?) in this blog, so sorry if this took a while to post it :) hope u guys enjoy it!

-> disobeying your father and mother orders, and ignoring Jeremy advice, you entered the basement by yourself with a a basket full of medicines and food, the guards gave you a weird look but they knew it would be better if they just let you in ( no one what to know what Lante can do when someone mess up with you )

-> most of the cells were empty but one, a man no much older than you , full of scars and bleeding from many cuts, and without hesitation, you kneeled on his side and started patching his wounds the best way you can do without messing his health more

-> at first, he was confused and suspicious about your acts with him, however, with your genuine smile, he knew that you wouldn’t hurt him, in fact, he couldn’t deny that you were gorgeous, maybe he is there for much time that he is touched starved, and now he enjoy any type of touch and since you are the only to do it, he start caring about you and your little visits

-> some days after first meeting the man in the basement, you kept visiting him every day, bringing him more food ( handmade by you which he loved ), bandages with medicines ( he always thanked you ) and in return, he would tell stories about his family and he place of birth, making you amazed with his life

-> after a while, you introduced yourself as [name], daughter of maria agriche and young sister of deon, with such innocent smile, making the man questioning himself about that, but he introduced him after as cassis pedelian, you two become acquaintances after that

-> with that, maria along other noticed your new routine, visiting the basement was nothing common to you, and roxanna was the one to know why

-> her little butterfly told her that you and cassis were interacting regular, and even though she likes you opening yourself to others, she is afraid that you going to change the storyline and tells Lante and Maria about it, making both ground you in order to stay say from cassis as long they wish

-> because of that, you went there one last time and said goodbye to him, and cassis asked why you wouldn’t return next day, only to say that your parents didn’t want you to interact with him, that left cassis worried about your state, what you family would do with you?

-> but he never discovery that, you never returned the next day, leaving him with roxanna and the others to torturing him

->without going to the basement, you got a new routine, one that maria and Lante made you do since you don’t talk with cassis anymore

-> first, deon starting training you with a dagger he gave you, according to him, many will try to take advantage to you and kill you in the end, due to that, he makes sides to training you but not enough to ruin your innocence

-> roxanna and Jeremy now can spend their time with you, doing what depends how they feel, sometimes they talk or just go out with you to buy new clothes, also jeremy loves to pinch your cheeks, he says that you look adorable

-> speaking of Jeremy, he is the one who spend more time with you than the others, making sure you only fell truly happiness and forgetting about that idiot called Cassis

-> as your older brother by a few months, Jeremy is your shield from the evil world, not leaving you to spend time with anyone from outside without a supervisor of him or anyone from the family

-> also, he brought you a lot of gifts! such as the finest clothes, candies and exotics food! he pretty much do that only to see you smile and become happier with his presence

-> the only two member that won’t spend time with you are fortaine and Charlotte. who often ignore you presence most of the time and lante, since they busy with their works and torture and consider you stupid for being soft and innocent

-> as times pass, maria start making your learn etiquette, going out to meet other family and participate in balls, a dynamic that you had to admit, it was fun to do with your mother,

-> after roxanna help cassis escaped from the manor and faking his death, Lante neither Maria would talk it in your front, hoping that you would forget about cassis and the whole situation with him and that what happened with help of some medicines they gave you

-> until three years passed in a blink of eyes, and you went to the ball where the four families reunited

-> maria choose to make you wear a gorgeous but simple dress/suit, she didn’t want to you call attention of any future suitable engagement but that wasn’t enough

-> when the time arrived, the pedelian show up to the ball, and cassis was there alive with his sister and father wearing themed blue clothes, and the white man and golden eyes made you recall a distant memory

-> a memory about meeting a man deep down in the basement and helping him, could he be that person? your red eyes fixed on his golden eyes, and you completely remember the stories he told you when you were younger

—

With every step you take closer to Cassis, your heart beat faster. In the first time in forever, you were overjoyed, seeing the Cassis after all those years thinking he was dead is making you excited, maybe you could ask him how he did that! And this time, you might even ask him about his family.

A gloved hand was wrapped in your wrist, stopping you taking more steps closer to him, “What?” looking back, you saw Jeremy holding you and Roxanna along his side with her iconic smile on the face, what are they doing? “ Could you guys let me go? I need to talks with the pedelian family” your pleading wasn’t heard by neither of them, however Jeremy’s face change, instead of the worried one, now it is a disgusting one.

He put you closer to him, being stronger and taller than you made it easier to him, “ Don’t interact with them” the whispers was only loud enough to you and Roxanna to hear, “ You don’t have any ideas how dangerous they are, what they will do to with you if you get closer to them” lies! Cassis wouldn’t never hurt you, you know him better than both of your siblings.

You took Jeremy’s hand away from your wrist and once again tried to walk away from them, but this time was Roxanna who stopped you from doing that.

Even though her eyes are red as your, something on her makes you feel scared, maybe is her attitude or the ways she acts, doesn’t matter, she knows how to control you without saying a word.

Now, you are shivering of fear, her eyes started making you feel smaller than usual, and Jeremy on your side without intervening, “ Im sorry… I will stay here with both of you…” your excitement suddenly vanished from your face and got in Roxanna and Jeremy face instead, both overjoyed that their sibling would be the rest of the ball with them.

“ Now, let’s have some drinks” your brother took your hands in his and slowly walk away from the crowd. For every step you take away from the white haired boy, your mind got even more blank, was really the friendship you had with him nothing? Just a way to Cassis gain information from you? Maybe you were stupid as Fontaine once told you.

And now, Cassis watched you walk away from him and his family, dumbstruck as why you would do that. Seconds ago, you were coming to greet him and now… you are leaving him, why?

He couldn’t comprehend your action until he saw Roxanna watching Jeremy taking you away, a smile on your brother’s face while you look depressed and emotionless. Now he understands why that’s happened, and now Cassis found a extra reason to save you from the Agriche family.

@lyomeii stuff || don’t repost

#yandere headcanon #yandere imagine #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere male #yandere x you #yandere platonic #yandere cassis pedelian #cassis pedelian x reader #cassis pedelian #jeremy agriche x reader #jeremy agriche headcanon #yandere Jeremy agriche #yandere cassis pedelian x reader #the way to protect female lead’s older brother imagine #the way to protect female lead’s older brother x reader #yandere the way to protect female lead’s older brother x reader #yandere manhwa

[badh6bit]

*°:⋆ₓₒ until dawn - luxiem

synopsis: a group of friends are invited to a remote cabin in the mountains for a reunion. things quickly take a turn for the worse as the group starts to realize that there is something in the mountains with them.

content: until dawn au , drabble(?), not really horror, probably VERY short lmao , no shipping , not proofread , im writing for their personas/characters NOT the actual person,

vox akuma

knowledgeable , giving , humorous

“don’t panic, we have to keep things under control!”

vox does anything and everything he can to help the others

he’ll go out of his way to search for resources or will accompany others to find them

he’s willing to be self-sacrificing, giving things to others instead of keeping things for himself.

and if he’s not helping others with certain tasks, he’s advising them on what/what not to do

vox is not afraid of a fight if it means keeping the group safe from harm. he’s most likely to prioritize the well-being of others rather than himself.

ike eveland

idealistic , gentle , level-headed

“th-there’s something here! i just don’t know what..”

ike is among the first to realize that there’s something wrong with the surrounding area. warning the others frantically

his immediate course of action is protection. make sure everything is in check, secure everything, take extra measures, etc.

he encourages others to not make any rash decisions, although his complaints fall under deaf ears

despite this, he’s caring towards his group and will do whatever he thinks is right for the people around him

when faced against danger, ike is not afraid to fight even if it ends up hurting or injuring himself.

shu yamino

intelligent , reliable , easygoing

“everything’s gonna turn out fine, ill be here to help.”

shu comes off skeptical about the whole situation, believing that the so-called thing they saw in the forest was purely something they had made up

but as the night progresses more and more, shu starts to suspect that the group might be right

shu provides support to those who are in need of it. being the literal embodiment of “ask and you shall receive.”

need someone to fix the lights? he’s there. someone to scout with? he’s already out the door.

shu actively tries to avoid danger as much as he possibly can. but if forced to, he will instead think up a plan that involves him and the others coming out unscathed.

he wants no problems at all and is fixed on trying to get everyone and himself to safety.

luca kaneshiro

mischievous , energetic , sweet

“was i the only one that saw that?!”

luca’s gut tells him right away that something isn’t right.

the spooky atmosphere, the sinister glow of the moon and the sense of impending doom hits him in all the wrong ways

much like vox, he’s action oriented

he’s focused on getting everyone out of here, going out to find help from someone

he’s aware of his surroundings and his gut feelings are almost always right

his fight or flight is mostly mixed

he can put up a decent fight but if he is overpowered, has no problem of withdrawing and fleeing from the fight.

authors note(s) : OMG.. this was my first post/AU, i got this idea after rewatching a few until dawn streams 💀 I HOPE YGS LIKED IT (might make this a series-

#*°:⋆ₓₒ cali’s aus #nijisanji en #nijisanji #nijisanji en drabble #nijien #nijisanji au #nijisanji en fanfic #luxiem #luxiem drabble #shu yamino #vox akuma #luca kaneshiro #ike eveland #until dawn #until dawn au #random tags

[guiltyidealist]

"Dog Nightmares" best friend stimboard

x x x x x x x x x Banner

Speculation (spoilers!) + uncanny imagery below

TLDR: I think the Wegman thing is on Emily's side.

I don't think this thing is evil or necessarily ill-meant, even. I just think about

the timeline

growing up and moving on just as a concept

"was she just forgetful? ... or was she in trouble?"

how her drawings/pictures of Bailey seem "corrupted" but she seems unaware

how calm she is when she encounters the entity in the stairhole despite its goddamn horrific appearance

how unfazed she is by getting a Wegman birthday card from her friend despite everything, and how delighted she is by getting a Wegman movie from said friend

her fixation with the tapes altogether

the captions in the creator's own AMV of the series ("Do you think I did it?")

the creator's choice of clips relative to the lyrics in the AMV

the ending sequence of "My New Best Friend" when the Wegman thing is speaking to her via the tapes... "Be honest, do you think that the dog is still out there?"...

those final flickering shots we see of the thing toward the end of that scene... its expression... its gestures in those shots (as seen in my chosen center image)...

... and then Emily seeming to understand or realize something and drop her photo in shock

Something about this thing having malice toward Emily doesn't add up. It's actually starting to read like an "old toy/imaginary friend not wanting to be forgotten but also caring for the person and trying to reach out" narrative.

I wonder if the Wegman thing's involvement in the disappearance of Bailey and/or Emily's friend is a red herring and the thing is actually trying to warn her.

Think about this. All the "bait" clips? What if the Wegman thing is showing that to warn her that something else is trying to lure her? Why would it show her the bait clips if IT was baiting HER? It wouldn't want to monologue its own ~evil plan~ to her like that right? Same deal with the "I thought I heard a sound" / "over here... over here..." clips.

Also. the Wegman thing wouldn't need to kill her dog or steal her friend to "lure" her somewhere. It already has her trust-- that's established by her calm reception of it in her househole, calling it her best friend, and continued fixation on the thing as a whole. It would just have to ask her to go somewhere with it, no kidnapping required (well... except for her LMAO)

The posters of Bailey disappearing, the evident "corruption" of the drawings and photos of him, the "Be honest, do you think that the dog is still out there?" line? Clearly the Wegman thing is trying to get her to let go of Bailey, stop holding onto the hope that he's still out there. What if it's trying to discourage and scare her into giving up the search -- even if he IS still alive -- so that she isn't lured by whatever's really baiting her?

Like. She is NOT afraid of this thing, not remotely unsettled even after all this time and all this shit. In other analog horror series like TMC, Gemini, & Backrooms; the characters are dead afraid of the supernatural entities and occurrences because. no shit?? So Emily's total lack of apprehension about this dogman thing is baffling and even off-putting. Literally in the video "1/04/2009" she's just like "look at this weird quirk that happened in the tape! :D" and the glitch is goddamn nightmare fuel for any normal person

She clearly understands her social world through a sort of animal lens -- evidenced by her paper cutouts of various animal heads pasted over the faces of people in the scrapbook -- so I can kind ? of see where she's coming from? But no amount of being a furry is gonna make a child completely unfazed when they see THIS inside the walls of their house (walls which -- may I remind you -- they are ALREADY established to be TERRIFIED OF).

and again-- please look at the expression on this thing. Whenever we see it, there's this... deep anguish in its face. The thing is utterly forlorn. Hell, it almost looks like it's crying in the very first video:

And the fact that those sunken eyes almost make the face look like a mask on a human... and with her understanding of the world around her as animals...

hell what if she just perceives this otherwise-nebulous-form-having entity to look like a dog because she understands things as animals... or even because she was already so interested in the Wegman d... or just because it communicates with her via the W...? *unintelligible muttering*

man I dunno. All I'm saying is there's no way this thing is malevolent. It's protecting her. I think it is her friend.

#stim stuff #dogs #weimaraner #william wegman #dog nightmares #analog horror #analog horror theory #piggy soda #food tw #raw meat tw #facial horror tw

[ratlivesonblog]

First if all don't like? don't read. just block me quietly thanks

If you just wanna browse my art ->#rat'art

About me!

You can call me rat or rettle, I'm on the aroace spectrum, i use they/it, am Multifandom, my first language isn't English, im a LOT socially awkward,,, also i will indulge in any type of cringe so beware

Heres my scuffed sona :D

If you want me to draw something just send it in the asks! Also don't be afraid to send an ask for whatever I'm just a lil odd qwq

Look under the cut before following ty!

Big boys interests °

Sans aus(Big one) Hermitcraft/life series Aromanticism autism

+a lot of random things

Blog tags °

#rat'olol <- All my og posts so you don't have to search through 1000 rbs #rat'Art <- Anything drawn by me (rat'doodle for what i feel fits) #ratwritten <- little things i write that are actually cool

Can mute those °

#veo's rambles <- All my random bullshit most txt posts lol #School <- for my school bullshit

And a fuckton of unttagged reblogs so if you dont like that rip :P

My fics °

--killer and dream talking and [driller] philosophizing (ao3)

--error and dream meet each other [insomnia] (ao3)-(tumblr)

+ other stuff °

I'm neutral with most ships (but incest and pedophilia do make me uncomfortable) i am still anti-censorship (niel gaimen explains it pretty well)

Also i really hate the government lmao so don't be surprised if you see that here, that's the only type of hate allowed on this blog.

(i update this every so often, i probably changed it today too actually!)

#rat'olol #Pinned #rat'art #Veo's rambles #Bookmark #My sona #My blub #Rat'written

[emmashouldbewriting]

Emma, I want to ask you a question I've had for a long time, since I started reading books for fun, really.

Why do some authors take so long to release the next book in a series? Whether it's the same story or interconnected characters? Why not take advantage of the fact that readers liked the first book - when it becomes a best seller for example - and release the next book almost immediately. In some cases we have to wait months or years to read the next book. Aren't authors afraid that the reader will get bored and forget about the series or get tired of waiting for the next book? I read an average of 10-15 books a week and I've often forgotten that another book in X series is coming out because they take so long! unless I really liked the book and almost stalked the author or saw it on a blog/page that reviews books and has a list of what books are coming out 😅 but still.

There is a book of a series of interconnected characters that I have been waiting to be released since last year. I think they've changed the date 3 times and it's frustrating. So why some authors do that? 😭😭😭😭

Note: And I want to clarify that I am talking about books that the author has said are ready or almost ready, that they announce at the end of the first book etc., I know that writing a good book takes time.

The biggest thing is how the book is published. (also this is LONG lmao, sorry)

Traditional publishing means authors have little to no control over release dates, and if an author has more than one contract, they have to balance non-compete clauses. If the publisher says they're delaying the release, it can cause a whole host of issues that trickle down, even to self-publishing if the author is what we call "hybrid." (ie, both self-publishes and traditional publishes.)

Sometimes the series might even get picked up by a traditional publisher halfway through which delays the publication of the next book - I had this happen after I hit the NYT. I self-published the second book in the series, signed the contract, and then had to wait 9 months for the next book and it absolutely killed the series momentum. This kind of thing is happening a lot right now where some publishers are picking up print rights and the author is choosing to delay the ebook release so they come out on the same day (this also applies to audio, some people like all 3 formats to release on the same day.)

For self-publishing, obviously we have a lot more control. But outside of our control, there's any number of things that can cause a delay and in my experience, that's usually editing or formatting. I've seen soooo many people have to push a release because they didn't get their files back or people scrambling to find a last-minute editor or formatter because they were let down.

Otherwise, sometimes, it really is just life getting in the way. Outside of illness/emergency/etc, most authors can't and don't make a living from their books. They're expensive to produce yourself, so they could be pushing it for a financial reason. Formatting is at minimum $100, cover design is usually a minimum of $100, and depending on how many rounds of editing you stump up for, you could be looking at $500+ easily. Plus PR--it's an easy $1k to publish a book, without considering other general expenses we have like websites, newsletter services, etc.

Also, people just lie. There's a very real chance the book isn't ready, and they don't want to admit it and let people down. It's a really hard thing to do when you know people are desperate for a book and you might not be inspired to write it. And if it's not your main income stream, you don't have to write it, you know?

As for being afraid... yeah. I'm always afraid people will forget me between books, especially ones in a series. I'm worried my aristoverse readers will forget me when I'm writing Fox Point, and that when I inevitably go back to the aristoverse midway through the Fox Point books, that those readers will forget me. But then on the other hand, I'm also a reader, and I know that excitement of finally getting my hands on a book I've been waiting for, and I don't forget them while I wait :)

A really easy way to not miss anything is to follow the author on Amazon. I should really say sign up for their newsletter yada yada, but I don't do that, so yeah. Amazon will email you every time they release a new book even if they aren't always timely about it. If you can get Bookbub where you are, they're MUCH better about sending emails to followers lol

[imjustabeanie]

Hey there! It’s Morgan (@whiskersz) here for the matchup trade! First of all, I’m very happy that you came to me for a trade, I didn’t even know these were a thing before seeing your work!

Some basic info – I’m 20, use he/they pronouns, I’m Bisexual and Nonbinary and I have no preference for the gender of who I’m gonna be matched with :) I'm also Italian!!

So, I guess I should start by saying that I’m quite the introvert. I find it very difficult to start a conversation with people I don’t know and even when we’re already acquainted it takes me a while to open up fully. I’ve been called scary before, which happened also because I naturally look a bit annoyed all the time and apparently I don’t laugh at many things.

Once I open up though, I’m very silly! Literally the definition of ‘just a guy’; I like cats, drawing, painting, watching series and playing videogames and shipping myself and my OCs with my favorite characters, and writing about cute scenarios; I also love shopping and ‘dressing to impress’, I never leave the house with a random outfit, I dress in hopes that somebody in the streets will look at me and think that my style is awesome. So, I would say I kind of like attention in a way. Speaking of my style I always dress like I’m straight from the past, I own stuff that used to belong to people who bought it in the 80s, but even earlier! I also really love anything vintage and I’m somewhat of a maximalist, my desk is a mess of trinkets, action figures and jewellery.

As for what I dislike, I really hate gory scenarios, I can’t stand seeing that kind of thing at all and I actually pass out a lot from just hearing the description of such things. I also generally dislike annoying noises such as loud chewing, and people who don’t respect my boundaries. If somebody is like that, I’m not afraid of telling them that they’re getting on my nerves, though if we’re close I’ll be way kinder to them as I tolerate stuff from my loved ones way easier.

It’s maybe unexpected, but in a relationship I’m very loving and caring and I will worry about anything and everything, I’m also very empathetic so if my partner is feeling down I’ll unfortunately feel down as well, but I’m very willing to ignore my feelings since I’m just basically mirroring what they feel as I would rather be supportive and positive in times of need. My love languages are a mess, I basically express my love through words, actions, gifts and expressing that I want to spend time with each other all together; the last one is a bit more special maybe since I rarely feel up to doing things with people in general.

I don’t want to make this too long, so here’s my deal breakers and then we’re done! I’m not a fan of clinginess, I care about my loved ones a lot but I need a lot of space to practice my hobbies and to do my thing in general. I also dislike people who get angry easily, I’m a very chill person so I’d rather be surrounded by equally chill people. For the rest, just be loyal and honest and then we’re chill!

Hope this is all good! Take your time with this and happy writing :3

I nearly answered the wrong ask lmao. So sorry for the wait I hope you like it!

Your hazbin Hotel match is.....Vox!

For husker:

Don’t judge or blame me….your match is…Vox! I was surprised too since I initially hesitated between Husk and Vaggie….and somehow ended up with Vox.

Vox is a passionate man (demon?) to say the least. You did say that it’s difficult for you to start conversations in general so he’ll be the one starting them (and he likes it). What’s annoying with Vox is that it takes a little something special (his own interest) for him to start considering the person if you know what I mean. That’s why my scenario here is that you were a friend of someone in the Hotel (it can be anyone). Vox is interested in the hotel so he socialized with you to get inside infos. When he realized he actually started enjoying your company he acted like a schoolgirl and completely isolated himself because well it’s the first time! After the V’s saw him in that miserable state of mind they finally decided to confront him. It was effective cuz he confessed a week later.

Vox, as the other V’s, sometimes doesn’t respect boundaries (but not as much as the other two) by wrapping his arm around your shoulder or waist without asking first. But once you put him in his place he’ll accept it and then apologize by treating you to a nice date (plus a bouquet of flowers ofc). Something that’s nice is that he does take criticism (unless it’s from Alastor) but he’s too prideful to apologize properly by words. Instead he’ll take a step back and think about his actions so he won’t repeat the same mistakes.

He loves how good you dress up. He also dress to impress and likes someone that’s like him. He commissions new outfits for you almost weekly and always goes all out (velvet helps with the choices and coordination)! You’re the couple that everyone wants to dress up like if it helps. He relishes in the envious looks people give you both, it’s obvious from the big grin on his face (if you let him, he’ll kiss you and basically give the middle finger to everyone watching). Getting matching jewels is a must. I also see him as a watch type of guy so if you get him one he will wear it all the time. When in public, he speaks first and always starts the conversation so you don’t get awkward. If he feels you getting shy he’ll take over.

Vox is basically vintage himself. I can completely see him collecting stuff from all time periods (beside radios) His house is basically an organized hoarder house. Which means he has strings to bring you some very good and rare stuff. Each month he makes it his personal quest to bring you a box of a few rare items. He also brings with him vinyl for you two. After a long day he enjoys listening to music over a nice diner with you. Then he takes your hand and dances around the kitchen/living room. When he comes back home to you, he gets softer/more honest. He tells you about his ups and downs. He takes your opinion very seriously too.

I believe he is too date with all new series/movies (to be expected since he’s in the entertainment industry). That’s why you can always count on him for good recommendations. But if you introduced him to human world series/movies he’d welcome it! This means that you two always write a recommendation list to the other and it makes up for many common topics!

He sucks at video games. He’s too impatient and loves the fast types of games. He does try to have a healthy competition I promise but he gets all sulky when he loses lol. He’d like to get into more time consuming games but he doesn’t have much time (he did get the idea that it’d be good to get into the game industry to bring/brainwash more demons….). He gets jealous easily and it’s not uncommon to find him criticizing every character you matched yourself with. Oh boy I can’t imagine if it’s an actor….poor actor getting glared at will be so confused.

He enjoys your drawings! He gifts you with the supplies since he knows you like drawing as a mean to encourage you. If you actually started a career he’d back you up. If Vox finances animated series he’d give you a shot of actually present your characters to the artist for inspiration. He’s genuinely proud of you for that. He does criticize to help you out of course and if he doesn’t like it he’ll tell you why. Now for cats…I love cats but I don’t see him as an animal person. He won’t stop you from getting a cat but will get jealous if the kitty gets too much attention. Ironically cats love him….He likes that you support him all the time despite his obvious evil ways. We can say that love is keeping you two together.

Now for some bad parts….It happens that Vox gets all worked up (when a certain someone is involved). It’s very rare that he blows up on you due to stress but it happened once or twice (the reason you’re nearby is that he usually hugs you to calm down). He was fully apologetic afterward and even expected you to break up with him for it. Also he has an unhealthy rivalry with Alastor so yeah….

Tada!

#matchups #match ups #hazbin hotel

[captainsolocide]

solo talks about cbs elementary part 1

okay so yesterday I made post wondering if anyone would be interesting in hearing my cbs elementary thoughts. in the tags of that post I threatened said that one note was all it took to make this (a fleshed out series? of posts detailing pretty much everything I've ever thought about this show) happen, and for better or worse, I got that note, so instead of studying for one of my two midterms I have next week, I started this!

I am currently in the first half of season 4 but I started recording my thoughts from the very beginning. unfortunately they are very disorganized, so at least until I get to where I am currently watching I think I'm going to group these by multiple episodes. This section covers about the first half of season one

Since I've watched past the episodes I'll be talking about at first, I thought I would also add commentary if I have any hindsight to add to any of them. Any future knowledge commentary will prefaced as such.

Enjoy! and don't be afraid to leave your own thoughts if you feel so inclined, even if you completely disagree. I am insane about them so I am always ready to discuss :)

the good:

Holmes getting weird with his investigating (i.e. sniffing the walls, crawling around on the floor, licking things, etc.). It is very important to me that Holmes is, at the end of the day, a weird little guy

bitchy Holmes! Also very important to me! This also ties in with Holmes having emotions, but basically I just want Holmes to be written like the drama queen he is. (future solo thought: Elementary and JLM consistently do a good job of portraying him as such)

Avoidance of both teh stupid Watson and angry Watson trope. At this point, that's perfection

Holmes hates rich people! (future solo thought: I did not realize just how much copaganda there is in this how. it's very difficult to portray some of his more left-leaning ideals in shows like this, so I'm honestly glad for whatever scraps we can get)

I think Holmes having tattoos is a good call for a modernized version of him

crediting Watson with helping even when she hasn't done anything — this is something ACD!Holmes does as well and I think it's really funny (of course we know that Watson actually does help, just not always in obvious ways — sometimes even she's confused when Holmes thanks her, it's just funny the way he does this because he very rarely elaborates)

Encouraging Watson to make her own deductions (future solo thought: at this point in my watching this I didn't realize they were going to make Watson a detective in her own right, so this goes double now)

Telling Watson that she's necessary to his process fairly early into their relationship — we love codependent besties <3

Watson as a puzzle — not everyone likes this read of their relationship, but personally I love it

"WATSON!!!" — when Holmes yells her name like this I cannot help but be reminded of Jeremy Brett which can only do good things for my opinion of JLM's version

Holmes having daddy issues is always fun to explore, not mad at all if they decide to do more with this (future solo thought: I was very correct in this lmao)

Holmes just 🧍‍♂️-ing next to Watson's bed to wake her up occasionally. Again, reminds me of Brett, and it's objectively funny

"My dear Watson," I love this sentiment in the books when Holmes was saying this every other sentence, so seeing him say that at a time where it's not as common. It means a lot. To me.

Holmes' reaction to Watson calling herself his friend 🥹🥹

CIGARETTE ASH MONOGRAPH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS

Okay. This one needs some explaining. Holmes starts out misogynistic does go in the good BECAUSE I think his growth through that can be a really interesting and important thing to watch — it shows that even the smartest of us can hold unconscious biases that we need to do work to undo

the bad

The reworking of Watson's backstory — not all of this is bad, in fact some of it was necessary to distinguish Joan as her own character, but I do resent how Watson's tragic backstory in this meant that her doctor title is not used, and I feel like taking away Watson's injuries was missed opportunity as well

no live-in Mrs. Hudson = Watson getting relegated to house keeper duties, something that character does not do in the books. wonder what the difference is here? (future solo thought: this was a bigger issue in season one, I think. as far as I can tell, there seems to be a more even sharing of household chores as their relationship develops more, but my point for early season one stands)

Copaganda. It's lame and not in line with Holmes' characterization if you think about it for more than two seconds. I understand he works with them sometimes, but the amount of respect they have Holmes have for the police is disgusting. there have been several episodes I could barely finish because it was just so so bad

Holmes called Freud a genius in season one. girl.

#cbs elementary #sherlock holmes #joan watson #solo talks about elementary

[r3dblccd]

TAG PEOPLE YOU'D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

tagged by: @irrwicht

tagging: @formorethananame, @luneblush, @temporalobjects, @weedzkiller, @r4bidog, @hishedonism, @mxldito, @ovilis, @vienrose, @unavernales, @dozenrozez, @frxgmcnts, @finalsurvivorgrp, @caelcstis, @dcrkfcngs

favorite color(s): Red, purple, but I like all colors

favorite flavor(s): I have a huge sweet tooth, so I'd say chocolate and also fruity flavors like bananas and strawberries.

favorite music: Honestly, I think I can say that I listen mostly everything. I've come to the conclusion that I don't really care about the genre, if I like a song, I like it and that's about it. And that's why my playlist is a mess, especially when I put it on shuffle lmao

favorite movie(s): It's so hard to pick, there are so many good ones! But I recently watched Tokyo Godfathers, that one automatically jumped in my top favourites. I also really liked Grave of Fireflies (even though it's quite a heavy movie), Spirited Away, Princess Mononoke, The Handmaiden (let's go lesbians, let's go), Perfect Blue, Everything Everywhere All At Once, The Jigsaw franchise (and honestly, I think the 10th movie might be my favourite), The Fear Street Trilogy, Coraline, What We Do In The Shadows, Train To Busan

Honorable mentions: I think Gremlins is starting to grow on me, especially the second movie because I love that the production team didn't take it all too seriously, I do like when some movies are self-aware how silly they actually are. Also shoutout to The Sadness. Am I ever going to watch that movie ever again? Probably not, it was a very disturbing movie. But this is not your usual zombie movie, if I can even call it a zombie movie, which surprised me? Like, it definitely does have those elements of the apocalyptic zombie genre but turned it completely over its head by making the infected actually aware of the things they're doing but not being able to stop it. Again, it is a disturbing movie, it's not for everybody. I personally don't see myself watching it twice. Plus, finding out that the director has said something like that he wanted to focus more on the "fun and the gore" other than anything else in a Q&A did sound quite sussy to me given the heavy topics and the ways the movie could be interpreted. Idk, as philology and literature major it just keeps getting confirmed to me that most, if not all works of art, no matter in what form, have something to say and they deeply reflect the time in which they were created, and there's always the subjectivity of the viewer who interprets it in their own way (like hell, even the superheroes in movies these days most likely take a whole lot of inspiration from Greek mythology, if you really think about it). Some people have mentioned that the director might have answered the way that he did as to not stir up controversy since it was at a festival, but I can't say for sure, I wasn't there to see the interview myself and this is already getting really long so I will stop now, you can make your own conclusions.

favorite series: Courage the cowardly dog, The Scooby-Doo franchise, Are You Afraid Of The Dark (I'm talking about the 90's series, I haven't watched the 2019 revival). Do I remember anything from them? Kind of, it's been a very long time since I've watched them. I kind of want to rewatch them because of it. But they sparked my interest in all things spooky when I was a kid so I feel like they deserve a place here. Some of my other favourites include: The Untamed, Serial Experiments Lain, Steins;Gate, Semantic Error, Another, My Roommate is a Detective, Wellington Paranormal, What We Do In The Shadows, Hellbound and Sweet Home (I do recommend reading the webtoons of those two, though), Death Parade, The Silent Sea, Color Rush, Squid Game, My Beautiful Man, Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death, Alice on Borderland, My Name, Yellowjackets, Theatre of Darkness: Yamishibai

last song: Ruler Of My Heart by BL8M & Rubyeye & Unknown (Till The End) by AKUGETSU (Alien Stage OSTs) (tw for blood and a bit of gory imagery in the MVs for anyone who wants to check them out). Also can I also just talk about the 1st Anniversary Remixes of those two songs too!!! (here and here, audio only). Just *cheff's kiss*, I love those songs so much, I want to eat them. The story all these animations is quite interesting, the animations themselves are very well done too. How can I describe it. The story kind of takes that deadly game trope (like, let's say in the Hunger Games and Alice in Borderland), but make it about people being forced to be in a singing competition against each other to survive and they are being judged by aliens. From what I know, I could be wrong, the main way of storytelling is through the MVs on the VIVINOS YT channel so it does require a bit to analyze (there is a bit of a additional info on the official website and on the wiki, I'm sure), so if any of that sound interest you, I would recommend checking it out

last series: Choco Milk Shake

last movie: The Cat Returns

currently reading: So Long, And Thank for All The Fish from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy books. I'm so happy of how much progress I've done on reading those books compiled in one huge book, I'm halfway through the series now. And honestly I want to read it for as long as I can because I really enjoy it, it's so fun, I love the absurd situation the main characters fall into while the big question of the meaning of life, the Universe and everything looms over them. This would definitely go in one of my top books I've read I'm sure.

And I also have to mention the webtoons that I'm reading because I love them very much too: Hand Jumper, The Blind Prince, Lore Olympus, Zombie X Slasher (I don't know in what kind of direction this one would go, but so far so good!), Everything is Fine, Flawed Almighty, Homesick (I love love LOVE this one! The art style and everything is great), Never Ending Darling (I know that it's gonna end in like 2 days officially once the last episode is available to read for free, but damn, what a ride this was. The concept of this webtoon is terrifying), Omniscient Reader, My S-Class Hunters, ZOMGAN (also quite an interesting and honestly refreshing way of making a story about zombies), Nocturne and The Guy Upstairs

And special highlight to: There Are No Demons. This webtoon? An absolute nightmare fuel. I find it very interesting that the artist Nemo Nullus makes 3D models first and then draws over them. I wasn't so sure how to feel like it when I first saw it, this was the first time I've seen anything like it on webtoon, but I quickly grew to like this art style, the kind of weird realism and uncanny valley really add to the stories. And the stories themselves are very scary because these are things that could actually happen, and have most likely happened in real life too, especially that first story with the stalker. This webtoon has made me feel things no other horror/thriller webtoon has made me feel, I feel like I want to crawl out of my own body when I'm reading it, really.

currently watching: Nothing in particular, just random YT videos. I do have some shows to catch up on that I already mentioned here.

currently working on: Mostly focusing on studying a bit more for my exam on monday. But once I'm done I'll be back to doing more stuff here, hopefully ❤️

#long post cw #//this got long so i'm putting it under the cut #//thought that since I started to ramble as usual might as well give a long list of my favourites lol #//no i'm being serious this turned very long like jesus christ when and how did this get so long jhbgggbfh #//so feel free to skip this #misc; ooc #misc; dash games