#I wish I was like Negan... | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

loves4yukio · 6 months

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Unspoken Desires

Negan x F!Reader

Summary : You consistently rejected Negan's romantic advances because you didn't wish to become another one of his conquests. You avoid him as much as you could, but things became more intricate when he revealed his sole interest in you and no one else.

Warnings (18+) : SMUT, age gap (you are in your 20's and Negan is in his mid-late 40's), swearing, fingering, vaginal sex, dom!Negan, secret relationship, no use of y/n, mentions of sex (?) — I'm not sure what to put, so if you have any advice, I'll take it.

Word count : 5k6

You endured what felt like the most draining day of your existence. Your time outdoors alongside Simon, engaging in a lengthy run, exceeded the usual duration, leads you to return later than anticipated to the Sanctuary — where you seek solace in the privacy of your bedroom. Shedding your work attire, you exchanged it for the comfort of shorts and a cozy sweater, an outfit suited for rest. Seated at your desk, you embarked upon the task of drafting the expedition report, as mandated by Negan.

You toil in silence, engrossed in the task, driven by your yearning to assimilate into the community and meet Negan's expectations. When you're at last content with the outcome, you glance up from your desk, eyeing the time displayed on the clock. 'It's getting late, I need a break,' you muse. The alluring temptation of watching a movie, an idea often suggested by Negan, tempted you irresistibly.

As a recent addition to the Saviors, you had caught Negan's profound interest, the reasons for which remained a mystery to you. On numerous occasions, you found his intense gaze fixed upon you, his signature smile accompanying his playful, suggestive banter. The effect it had on you was undeniable, stirring an internal storm you couldn't easily dismiss.

Occasionally, you yielded to his allure, but it always left you in self-reproach, retreating into seclusion and creating distance. Negan always persisted, unwilling to swiftly relinquish his grasp on you. He was resolute, refusing to let you go to another.

Negan was known for his ladies' man side. He already had six wives by his side. Negan being Negan, he had proposed you become one of them, but you persistently declined, knowing it wouldn’t bring you joy. Yet, here you found yourself, part of his inner circle and laboring under his directives. This didn't deter him from the amusement of seducing you, sending your senses spinning — a pleasure he relished, especially the moments when you'd bite your lip each time he whispered something dirty in your ear.

Satisfied with the task's completion, you left your chambers, strolling silently through the corridor of the floor designated for Negan and his wives. You had the liberty to wander there at will, given your residence on that floor — Negan had made it clear that the floor was as much your abode as his and his wives'.

As you lingered in the room's alcove, the soft hum of the television reached your ears. Despite the dimness, the silhouettes on the couch were distinguishable. For a fleeting moment, you observed Negan and a few of his wives holding each other tenderly, their forms intertwined in a embrace.

This simple yet profound sight stirred a tumult of emotions within you. While relieved not to be entangled in Negan's romantic affairs, you couldn't stifle the growing pangs of jealousy. Negan embodied the epitome of your ideal man : handsome, funny, sociable and seemingly damn good at sex. Some nights, the sounds of their cries of pleasures echoed through the corridors upstairs, teasing a tale of their intimate rendezvous.

With the utmost care, you glided across the floor, your steps hushed to avoid disrupting their tranquility. Neither of them caught a glimpse of your passing silhouette ; such was your stealth. Arriving in the kitchen, you prepared a light snack, allowing the gentle whir of the refrigerator to fill the space.

Within the serene hush of the living room, where the dimmed lights cast the room in a veil of darkness, an aged cowboy movie flickered on the screen. Negan slumped on the generous couch, a soft sigh escaping him as Frankie sought solace against his shoulder. A fleeting moment of quiet ensued until one of them decided to shatter the silence.

“Has she returned from work ?” Sherry inquired on your behalf, arching an eyebrow, her attention diverted from the movie flickering on the television.

Shifting his gaze toward her, Negan emitted a noncommittal sound, almost an 'I dunno,' just before ensnaring her in a kiss filled with such fervor that it deterred her from pursuing the topic. Using it as a diversion, he let his hand slide down her back, the touch lingering on the black fabric of her dress, seeking more intimate contact.

“I'll be back, I'll fetch us some snacks. I'm feeling a bit peckish,” Amber murmured, beginning to withdraw from the group. However, Negan's hand swiftly seized her thigh, wordlessly commanding her to remain where she was.

“You're not fucking going anywhere, darling. I've got this covered, ladies,” Negan declared, his tone leaving no room for argument.

With a final surreptitious kiss, seizing Frankie's jaw for a change, he rose to make his way towards the kitchen, where he finds you. Unnoticed by you, he seized the chance to gaze at you, slyly running his tongue over his lips.

Deep in thought, you positioned the containers on the kitchen counter. When you eventually faced him, you briefly glanced away, continuing your preparations ; as if focusing on the task could banish the persistent memories clouding your mind. Negan picked up on your deliberate actions, earning one of his trademark, smug smiles.

“How long have you been here, sweetheart ?” His question sliced through the air, his tone betraying no notice of the tension that crept into your body upon hearing his voice.

“Not too long. I just came down,” you responded, daring to meet his gaze once more.

Observing him move around the central cabinet, selecting a variety of nuts to fill a small dish, he paused in his desire to approach the refrigerator, positioning himself behind you. He pressed your form gently against the counter, allowing his weight to meld with yours. His warm breath danced across the curve of your neck as his lips drew close to your ear.

“Aren't you joining us ?” he inquired, planting tender kisses against your soft skin, echoing a familiarity from moments when you were alone.

Your gaze remained evasive, yet inwardly, you pondered the wisdom of joining them in the living room. The situation was already taut with tension, and you hesitated to further complicate matters. On one hand, the desire to spend time with them lingered, but on the other, an apprehension loomed — an uncertainty of what might unfold, beyond your control.

“I'm not sure that's wise, Negan,” you murmured softly, breathlessly.

“Smart enough to handle it, darlin',” Negan replied with a sly smirk, dismissing your concern.

He remained silent, his hazel eyes fixed upon you in quiet contemplation. Your body tingled under his fleeting touch, heightening the feverish sensation as he grazed against you. Carefully tearing open a bag of chips, you delicately poured a portion into a bowl, then turned to present it to him.

“Here. I wouldn't want you to miss the movie because of me,” you said, offering an innocent smile.

The warmth and tenderness of your presence felt soothing, as though it seamlessly melded with his, an indelible union. With each step, he sought to intoxicate himself within this fleeting moment, wishing it could linger a little longer. Ceasing the intimate connection by turning towards him brought a sense of discomfort to Negan, especially when he was reveling in the closeness.

His hands mirrored your actions as you turned to face him, his countenance etched with seriousness, his unwavering gaze fixed upon you. Lifting the bowl of chips you'd prepared, he wordlessly returned it to the counter, observing you as if something unusual was unfolding. His scrutiny delved deep, as though attempting to decipher the depths of your soul.

“Then go to your room,” his words sliced the air, unexpectedly severe, nearly cutting.

His stare posed a challenge, urging you to venture beyond the ordinary. It was no longer just about the movie, and you were acutely aware of this shift. He was testing you.

Your brow arched in response to his intense scrutiny, granting him permission to draw nearer. You felt defenseless, adrift, and utterly powerless. His husky voice only added to your sense of unease. It was absurd how effortlessly you seemed to be losing your self-possession, akin to a fragile leaf that could be easily crumpled in his grasp. The very notion made your heart race within your chest.

Enveloped by the weight of his penetrating gaze, you hesitated to even reach out to touch him. You found yourself silently studying him, attempting to decipher the cryptic undertone of his words. Tilting your head ever so slightly, you cast a swift, cautious glance around, ensuring no prying eyes were upon you, before returning your focus to him.

He stood before you, a commanding presence, his unwavering, intense gaze fixed upon you. Was it even your place to be standing alongside them ? You blinked, releasing a breath as you succumbed to the overwhelming closeness. It might have appeared peculiar, perhaps even self-centered, but you would have preferred if his wives were absent. It could have been the attraction you felt toward Negan… or for some undisclosed reason.

“Must I, really ?” you blurted in a voice barely louder than a whisper, surrendering to the game. “Seems to me like you're eager for my company. Don't you ?”

“Oh, you think so, huh ? You don't have a damn clue about the game you're playing, sweetheart.”

His lips, once momentarily dry, became moistened by a subtle lick, accentuating his wolfish grin. Your hips were gently pressed against the counter's edge, his eyes traversing your form, observing your casual attire. Despite the room's darkness, his gaze fixated upon you, brimming with unwavering attention.

Within moments, you leaned against the nearby furniture, settling there while maintaining an unbroken gaze with him. Negan briefly scanned the kitchen's entrance before redirecting his focus back to you. Ensnared under his intense scrutiny, you found yourself entranced, incapable of averting your eyes from the fervor of his. Each step he took toward you sent shivers down your spine, accelerating the rhythm of your heart. Your breaths grew shallower, the atmosphere thick with an electric charge.

“Don't start something that you can't finish,” he moved a step nearer.

“Who said I couldn't see it through ?” you retorted mischievously.

Negan moved with a predator's intent, every step bringing him closer to you until he stood mere inches away. In that suspended moment, it felt as though time had halted, the world vanishing to leave only the confined space that separated the two of you. The passing seconds dragged by, laden with anticipation, until he loomed over you, finally capturing your face in a firm yet gentle hold, drawing it close to his. His intense gaze traced every curve of your eyes and lips, as if they beckoned to him.

As his fingers secured your face, a soft moan escaped your lips, lost amidst the hollow of his kiss. The ensuing embrace was fervent, ablaze with passion, and you responded with the entirety of the longing you held for him. However, Negan aimed to tantalize you, so he permitted the kiss to endure for just a few moments, kindling a flame within you and intensifying your longing for more. Releasing a frustrated sigh, you felt an intense longing — an unquenched fire that left you parched.

“Now there's a spot on the couch waiting for your pretty ass,” he remarked, letting you go. With a bottle of liquor and the two snack bowls in hand, he strode away, leaving you behind.

Returning to the living room, the movie played on, and he seamlessly carried on watching it, feigning normalcy by exchanging a kiss with one of his wives. It was disquieting to witness the charade of his role as the perfect husband with them, all the while engaging in infidelity with you.

“Screw me…” you muttered under your breath before exiting the room, carrying your tray toward the living area.

Sherry arched a curious eyebrow upon witnessing you arrange the appetizers on the coffee table, casually taking a few pistachios as she passed by. Unaware of your true intent, she observed you taking a seat on the sofa — pretending to concentrate fully on the movie playing on the television. It was then that she realized you intended to join them in watching the film.

With a glass of whiskey in hand, Negan slipped off his shoes and stretched out along the couch, observing your approach without quite meeting your gaze. Amber perched at the edge of the sofa, indulging in the snacks from the bowls.

Leaning behind Amber — careful not to touch her, Negan reached out with his leather-clad hand toward you. His fingers delicately slipped under your sweater, making direct contact with your skin, absentmindedly caressing it without averting his eyes from the television. You attempted to divert your attention to the screen, as though nothing had transpired. Nevertheless, your body responded intensely to his tender caresses, the sensation mingling with the remnants of his previous kiss, drawing you closer, yearning for more contact.

With every delicate rise of his fingers, it was as if you were engulfed in an irresistible yet tormenting inferno. Despite the turmoil within, an appearance of composure had to be maintained, a guise of indifference. His actions appeared effortless, his focus fixed on the screen, while his touch crept higher and higher, only to smoothly readjust as Amber settled in between you on the couch. He cleared his throat, flashing his characteristic shit-eating grin.

The movie merely served as a facade, concealing the true currents swirling in the room. The tension became almost suffocating, an unspoken magnetism pulling at your souls, yet no one acknowledged the brewing tempest, recklessly dancing with fire. The intensity between you both had swelled to an almost tangible thickness, enough to be sliced through with the sharpest blade. You cast a feverish glance toward Frankie, prompting her to sit upright, sensing the charged atmosphere.

“I think I'm ready for bed,” Frankie whispered a little suddenly.

“Same, I'm getting really sleepy,” Amber added.

“Mhm, I'm heading off too. Try not to stay up too late, guys,” Sherry said as she followed the other two women.

“Sleep tight, ladies,” Negan's parting was sealed with a tender kiss to each of the women, yet his unwavering gaze remained locked with yours. He was aware of your watchful gaze and took the opportunity to playfully tease you.

They dispersed into the solace of their individual chambers, melting into the shadows. While maintaining a facade of attention towards the television, he covertly tracked their movements until he was certain of your seclusion. Then, he turned toward you, a silent entreaty woven into the language of his gaze, beckoning you closer as if the very essence of his being yearned for your nearness.

“Come here,” he murmurs, gesturing with his raised arm to offer you space beside him.

You edged closer to his inviting warmth, shifting on the couch to draw nearer. The instant you nestled against him, his embrace enveloped you. His fingertips ventured down your back, making tender contact with your skin, a delicate dance of caresses. Nestled comfortably against him, your head found a cozy perch upon his shoulder, basking in the tenderness of his touch. His actions lulled you, evoking a melting sensation within.

“What's runnin' through that head of yours, darlin' ?” he murmurs in your direction.

The gentle strokes ceased. His hand settled on the curve of your lower back, doing nothing more but imprinting an imperceptible memory of his tender touch upon your skin. Negan's actions seemed deliberate, as if he sought to ignite a response within you, desiring to witness your own initiative, rather than taking the lead himself. In his ideal scenario, your body would have already be over his, seeking warmth. He harbored vivid images of it, yearning for what he'd envisioned on countless evenings.

“I don't know,” you exhaled, your words barely audible, your gaze unwaveringly locked with his. “About everything, and nothing at all.”

“I'll be damned, sweetheart,” he breathed, his voice a velvety rasp, “Uncertainty can be a wicked thing, can't it ? Everything and yet nothin', all wrapped up in one pretty package.”

The TV volume remained low, affording him the chance to catch any stray sounds. He was vigilant, ever mindful of his wives who, despite retiring to their rooms, could unexpectedly intrude at any instant. Negan wasn't particularly concerned about being caught in a passionate liaison with a woman ; if it were solely up to him, he'd fuck you right there on the balcony in front of everyone, demonstrating to all that you belonged to him. But it was more for your sake that he wished to avoid it — he knew you probably wouldn't want to be seen sharing sex with him.

A hush settled in the room as you rose, resting your hand on his chest. Your heart stubbornly refused to slow down while the background movie appeared to have lost its significance. Your gaze fixated on Negan's figure, captivated by the intensity of his dark, engulfing eyes.

“You need to stop giving me that look, Negan,” you stated.

“I can't help it if you bring out that look in me, sweetheart,” he replied, his lips curved in a smirk.

Slowly, your eyes traced his features, observing every detail from his lashes to the salt and pepper shade of his beard. Perching up on your knees, you take a careful glance around the room to make sure there was no one there. Assured of the privacy, you descended slowly, draping a leg over his, finally settling atop him, your breaths growing unsteady.

“You look like you're about to devour me on the spot,” you exhaled, sensing his body tensing beneath you.

“Well, babydoll, can't blame you for feeling a little nervous with ol' Negan here.”

His gaze narrowed, intensifying as curiosity and amusement danced within his eyes. Eager to discover the path of your actions, he deliberately halted even the subtlest of gestures toward you. And his anticipation was met. You placed your hands on each side of his shoulders, the contact of your pelvis against his eliciting a gasp of your mouth.

“Negan, I— Oh, for fuck's sake…” you blurt out, leaning in, nearly pressing against him.

“Seems cat's got someone's tongue, huh,” Negan chuckles, softly grazing your chin with his gloved hand.

Flushed with heat, you gently traced your fingers along his pristine white t-shirt, tucking the edges to sense his warmth against your fingers. Surprisingly, your boldness seemed to gratify him. Without delay, his hands found their way to your thighs, embracing your skin before gliding down to your hips, drawing you nearer. He bent his legs, pulling you close as possible, as if ensnaring you within his desires.

“Mhmm, that's it, keep it up, sweetheart. Just. Like. That.” his raspy voice growled.

The tension between you amplified with the gentle touch of his fingers caressing your skin, accompanied by his satisfied, teasing smile. Swiftly, he seizes your face, drawing you in for a direct and passionate kiss. Your lips eagerly met his, an urgent yearning manifesting as if they had craved this union for an eternity.

Enthralled by the passion conveyed in that kiss, he reasserted his hold on your hips, drawing the weight of your pelvis closer to his in an almost covetous manner. Every inch of your body responded to the fervor. Suppressing his profound yearnings for so long, he yielded, allowing his hands to trail along your curves. A sigh slipped from your lips at the sensation. His touch ventured beneath the fabric of your shorts, grasping your ass firmly. His action was almost too abrupt, considering how controlled it had been until now.

You were no longer the master of your actions, a mere observer of your own surrender. Unable to resist any longer, you yielded to the urge, shedding your suffocating sweater in a desperate attempt to ease the fire consuming your body. It seemed unbelievable that such a scene was unfolding, you that fighting valiantly against the tide of temptation, determined not to succumb.

Your breath mirrored his, swift and erratic, as your hands slipped beneath his t-shirt. Your fingers, curious and explorative, roamed across his skin, entwining in the few hairs as if seeking to uncover every secret of this uncharted territory.

Your lips sought out his cheek, trailing a series of kisses along the contour of his jaw. A soft sigh escaped you at the tantalizing touch of his beard against your lips, and you closed your eyes, imagining the sensation of it grazing between your thighs. The journey of kisses halted upon reaching the hollow of his neck. Gazing up at him, your eyes deepened with a smoldering intensity, betraying the fervent desire coursing through you.

“Doll, staring at me like that makes me as hard as a rock,” Negan teases, a sly grin dancing on his face.

“Oh, hush.”

Your tongue lazely passed over your lips as your sweater cascaded to the wayside. An almost involuntary movement drew your pelvis toward a search for friction, yearning to stoke the burgeoning flame deep within. Negan's hand clasped your jaw, a means of asserting dominance. He seized your lips in an intense kiss as you sought another after removing your sweater — an interlude far too fleeting for his taste to let it end there.

Having severed the kiss, having imbued it with the bittersweet flavor of his longing, he gently drew you back, his hand anchored to your face. In the subdued room, his gaze nearly disclosed a hint of regret for not being able to explore the contour of your chest more intimately. He indulged in the delight of relishing a closer sensation by letting his fingers glide from your neck to the delicate curve of one of your breasts, tenderly caressing it.

"Damn, babydoll, look at you. So damn sexy," Negan rumbled in a husky tone, his words carrying a mix of admiration and appreciation for what he was seeing — what he was feeling.

In the pursuit of evoking a reaction from your body, he persisted in his caress, his index finger accompanied by his middle finger captivating the tip of your mound to make it harden further. Allowing his lips to envelop your flesh button, he began to gently suckle, his hand cupping and kneading your second breast while his other hand glided down your back, drawing you nearer to him, as if such closeness were even possible. Simultaneously, he urged you to continue the friction that your pelvis created against his, while beneath the thick fabric of his gray trousers, his growing member was already palpable.

You sensed your heart pounding against your chest, sending tremors through your entire being. The passion ignited such a fervor, inducing a wetness between your thighs that heightened with each subtle motion against his bulge. As he worked on the first reddened mound, he shifted his attention to the second, prolonging the intimacy without breaking away. His hand, departing from the comforting warmth of your skin, ventured further, becoming more invasive as it found its place between your thighs.

You let out a soft sigh as his hands grazed your fevered skin. In touch with the cloth of your shorts, he effortlessly detected your moisture with a gentle, deliberate press. His smile brushed against your skin, teasing your hardening bud as he intensified the caress of his fingers against your welcoming depths, eliciting you a moan that sent shivers down his spine.

“So fucking wet for me,” he murmurs huskily, his words brushing against your skin.

Each shift of your body against his made you acutely aware of his hardness pressing against your lower abdomen, igniting vivid, consuming thoughts. His words and the sensations from his hands evoked a swarm of butterflies in your chest.

Passionate, moist kisses lingered on your lips, easing your sighs into delicate moans. Struggling to keep your responses in check, aiming not to draw the attention of his wives — who, you prayed, were sound asleep in their chambers, only served to heighten your fevered state. As the kisses deepened, you glanced down to witness the unfolding intimacy between you. The sensation was wet and intoxicating, a feeling you adored, yet it failed to satiate your longing ; you craved more, like an ache that consumed you.

Once more, your hands ventured under his t-shirt, gradually raising it to uncover his tonic abdomen amidst the subdued light of the television. As your hands glided around him, ascending his back to help disrobe him, your hips resumed their movement, driven by the burgeoning passion stirring within you.

You let out a hiss as your thighs quivered around him, feeling the discomfort of your shorts. Using your fingertips, you eventually made it to the edge of his pants, playfully tugging them down intermittently while seeking his approval through eye contact.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Negan exhaled deeply, smirking against your jaw.

He snarled and moved aside your damp underwear. Your desires were explicit, needing no further communication for him to comprehend your needs. He grazed his finger along your sensitive areas, savoring the sounds escaping your lips. Sensing your hands clutching his shoulders, he starts tracing circular motions around your nerve bundle, causing you to writhe on top of him.

“W-Wait,” you managed to say, widening your eyes, a surge of pleasure building as he persisted.

“Shh, let me take care of you. Cum for me,” he responded, prompting your release against his hand. “You're doing so well, sweetheart,” he praised you.

He lapped at your juices greedily on his fingers, revealing in the taste of your arousal. Encircling his arm around your delicate form, he effortlessly maneuvered to switch your positions, laying you on your side. You yielded without protest, sinking into the cushioned comfort of the sofa.

Leaning against the cushions with one arm, he stood tall above you and leaned in for a passionate kiss, his other hand swiftly pulling away the last garment covering your body, exposing you to the open air. Without needing assistance, he tore away your panties and eager to remove his own pants and boxers, freeing himself.

As you shared a kiss, he momentarily paused to collect saliva on his hand, which he used to moisten himself, locking eyes with you intensely. There was no turning back for both of you.

“Negan,” you gasp, a fervent ache consuming you.

“Use your words, darling. I want to hear you beg me,” he demands.

“Negan, please… I want you so bad,” you murmur in a quivering, warm tone near his ear, your eyes growing heavier as your bodies press together.

Grasping his girth, he glides it along your folds, teasing before exerting pressure to breach your intimacy. A guttural sound escapes his throat as he leans back, relishing the feeling of penetrating you. Despite the discomfort, you tremble, releasing a stifled moan as he tantalizes your wetness with his thumb. Retracting, he positions himself on his knees, guiding his member with a few deliberate movements.

Clasping your thighs firmly, he drew you nearer by lifting your knees towards his chest, seeking better access to your intimacy. His thumb moistened your entrance with your own secretions before he tease you with the head of his cock. He shifted above you, covering your lips with his own to stifle your sounds as he smoothly entered you, his pelvis slamming against yours.

Your chest rose and fell in sync with your racing heartbeat as your fingers gently wandered through the tangle of his dark locks at the back of his head. The tension surrounding you was so consuming that you lost awareness of your surroundings and any potential consequences of your actions.

When you sensed his entrance, your body instinctively arched and stiffened. Your face tensed as you tried to adjust to this new sensation. Gradually, you acclimated to his presence, and in a suggestive move, you raised your hips, wrapping your legs around his waist, signaling your desire for him to continue.

Gripping the sofa, he lifted your face abruptly, stifling a deep groan that resonated in his throat. The way your body arched upon his possession, the tightening of your flesh around him, heightened the rush of blood in his veins. Slowly, he eased into a series of gentle pelvic movements.

It was a captivating sight, leaving you breathless as you finally sensed his motion inside you. A thin film of sweat adorned your skin, and the heat brought a flush to your face, framed by damp strands of hair. Negan couldn't help but marvel at how perfect you looked in that moment — like a goddess who had descended from the heavens just for him.

His movements were restrained, as he aimed to find more space, all the while displaying a sense of self-control. This tenderness was not typical of his character. However, when Negan lifted his gaze to study your expressions and the fervor they revealed, he permitted himself to quicken his pace. Beginning softly and then progressively intensifying, causing your body to shift beneath him. His hand turned to silence your mouth, and his grunts intensified in your ear.

“You feel so good,” he moaned between a few strokes.

The manner in which his pelvis met yours left no room for evasion. This subtle motion that swept you along drove you to the edge, even though it was merely the start. You ultimately found the delight, the one veiled within your unspoken desires, beneath your garments, in the recesses of your intimacy. Each of your cries was subdued, to avoid raising any doubts and the movie, its credits scrolling on the screen, was no longer a cover for you.

“Tell me. Tell me you fucking belong to me, dollface,” he murmured, planting kisses along your collarbone before biting your earlobe, leaning in as he demanded, “Say it.”

“Fuck—,” you muttered, turning your face to meet his gaze.

You found yourself laughing nervously at every motion, electrified by the exquisite sensations that regularly coursed through you. Your legs clung to him while your hands had sought solace on his back. Your body quivered and molded around his larger frame.

“Say it,” he insisted, picking up his speed, surpassing the intensity he'd shown before.

“Yours. Only yours !” you gasped as you sensed him accelerating, feeling your muscles tightening around him.

“Abso-fucking-lutely. All mine,” he snarled, his voice dripping like honey.

A hush enveloped the surroundings, broken only by the rhythmic sounds of flesh meeting and the partially muted expressions of pleasure that conveyed the intense experience shared between you — and the need to stifle the impending cries pulsating within you nearly propelled you over the edge. Consumed by the moment, you disregarded any concerns about potential listeners, focusing solely on the overwhelming sensation that enveloped you.

A knot formed within you as a distant door creaked open, signifying the departure of one of Negan's wives from her room. The mere idea prompted you to stiffen. But Negan firmly held your hips, intensifying his pace, propelling you closer to the brink of climax.

“Hold on, there's somebody,” you gasp, confused by Negan's apparent indifference.

“It ain't an issue if there's company,” he declares, forcefully driving his hips against you.

“Negan I'm—,” you cursed, your hips rising to enhance the skin-to-skin connection. Your head arched backward, immersing you in a profound trance.

“Cum for me, baby,” he groaned, his voice husky with desire. “Show me how much you want it.”

Intense pleasure courses through your veins, compelling you to grasp his hair and arch your hips to meet his movements. His hold on your hips tightens like that of a ravenous creature, and you knew you would be bruised the next day, but in that moment, it doesn't matter.

Negan glided a hand down, teasing and stimulating your most sensitive spot with his thumb, propelling you closer to your next climax. The noises coming out of your throat as you came were the sexiest sounds he had ever heard and damn, it driving him wild. It's with one last powerful push, he poured himself into you, your bodies entwined in a dance of passion and desire.

“Fuck fuck fuuuck,” he spat, shutting his eyes.

He fell onto you, utterly drained. You both remained intertwined, allowing your still-warm bodies to linger in a comfortable silence. As you slowly regained awareness, the sound of the door closing snapped you out of your daze, and you were suddenly struck by the reality of the situation. Sensing your movement beneath him, Negan slowly rose, propping himself up with one arm.

“Did you just— ?” you halted, sensing a chilling atmosphere enveloping your core when Negan withdrew from you, appearing as bewildered as you felt.

“I didn't mean to. You made it hard for me with all this damn mess,” he breath. He seemed to hold himself responsible, hoping this error hadn't disrupted the beginning of your relationship. Truth be told, sleeping with you was a significant move in his plan to have you entirely for himself.

You fall into a moment of silence, still slightly affected by the intensity of your lovemaking. As you both prepare to dress, Negan, clad only in his boxers, catches your attempt to glance around the room. Interrupting, he requests you an another, gentler kiss. You find yourself smiling in the midst of this tender moment, momentarily forgetting your worries. Eventually, you begin to reassess your choice about joining his group of wives…

Maybe you should think about it again.

A/N : Thanks for reading ! And sorry for any grammatical or other mistakes, English is not my first language. If you have any fanfic requests regarding Jeffrey's characters, please feel free to ask — I'd be happy to write them for you <3

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan x reader #jeffrey dean morgan x you #negan smith x reader #negan fanfic #negan smut #negan x you #negan fanfiction #jeffrey dean morgan x reader #negan fic #negan smith #twd negan

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carlgrimesenthusiast · 9 months

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saviour! reader x carl where he’s got a huge crush on her and thinks she’s soooo hot so when the two find themselves alone, and she makes a suggestive comment towards him, he begs her to have sex with him

we’re supposed to hate each other…

warnings: swearing, smut.

a/n: i decided to make this into an actual fic instead of just short couple of paragraphs. plus i haven’t written a fic in a long time! i also wrote in capitalisation and didn’t make the writing smaller, thought i would try it out.

also, i made reader negans daughter so it would fit to the title, but everything else is the same!

You heard someone knocking on the door from the other side of the door. “Come in.” You yelled, rolling your eyes. Someone always had to interrupt whilst you were reading a book.

“Alright, pumpkin. Get up, we’re going to Alexandria.” Your father said, after opening the door. You love going to Alexandria, mostly because of a special someone always being there whilst your father went off taking supplies from everyone. You and Carl were supposed to hate each other, at least that’s what you thought.

Whenever you saw Carl, you get butterflies in your stomach but your ignored them. Even if you were supposedly dating, would it really work out? Your fathers hate each other and even thought hate is a strong word, they really do hate each other. You wouldn’t blame Rick, Carls dad, you knew what kind of person your dad was but that didn’t change the fact that you still love him.

“Fine.” You abruptly sat up, removing the blankets off of you and leaving the marked up book onto the bed side table. “When are we leaving?” You questioned, taking your jacket and putting it on.

“Now, all the trucks are outside all ready.” Your father said, waiting for you to hurry up.

“Well, I’m ready so let’s go.” Negan nodded before turning around, opening the door wider and letting you leave first before closing the door and locking it.

You made your way outside, walking past all the workers and taking quick glances at them. You felt bad for them but weren’t they being kept safe? It shouldn’t be that bad, it’s way better then being left outside with all those walkers lurking around. If I were them, I’d prefer to be kept inside, fed and being able to sleep all safely, well mostly safe…

You boarded the car with you dad, not being bothered to buckle your seatbelt because who else would be driving on the road apart from the Saviours? You and Negan made small talk, a large quantity of it being what we would take when we get there and if your dad was going to stir up even more hatred.

You arrived outside the gate of Alexandria, you waited for the Alexandrians to open the gate before all the vehicles made their way inside.

You jumped out the car happily, you loved being here. You honestly wish you were here instead of the Sanctuary. The houses and the trees and the bright sun, everything about it here was beautiful. You were brought out of your thoughts when a certain someone made their way towards you.

“Hey, Y/n, haven’t seen you in ages.” Carl said, hands in his pockets whilst he looked down at you with his eyes squinted from the sun.

“I saw you like last week…” You had an obvious look on his face, did he miss me or something? You smiled at the thought of Carl missing you.

“What you smiling about?” Carl questioned, your smile immediately dropped.

“Nothing.” You folded your arms across your chest, “now, show me something that I might be interested in.” Last week when you came to Alexandria, you met up with Carl again and you told him that next time you’re here, he should show you all the things he found for you that you could be interested in having.

“Alright, I’ll lead the way. It’s in my bedroom, by the way.” Carl nodded before leading the way, you were both stopped by someones voice.

“Darling, where you going?” Your fathers voice boomed out, you turned around to see your dad standing there with the Saviours carrying supplies back to the trucks.

“I’m going with Carl, he’s offering me things he thinks I might like.” You shouted, loud enough for Negan to hear since he was quite far.

“Alright, be back in 10 minutes!” He shouted back, you nodded and held your thumb up to show that you will be back.

“I’ve got some things that you will definitely like to have, hopefully.” Carl whispered the last part to himself, thinking that you couldn’t hear him, but you did.

Carl opened the door to his house and let you enter, you were shocked. Your face didn’t display it but your mind was thinking otherwise. The furniture, the carpet, the lights, the living room. Everything about it is so homely, exactly like it was before the world went to shit.

“Everything’s in my room, come on.” Carl shut the door behind him and led the way upstairs. He opened the door to his bedroom, there was one poster in his room and a ton of shit on his bed. That’s what he was offering, a ton of comics that you wondered where he found them, video games, books, a paint set…in prestige condition as well. You seriously needed to know where Carl found this stuff.

“I want the comics.” You said before making your way to the comics, picking it up from his bed and flicking through it.

“That’s my second favourite.” Carl pointed out, closing the door behind him and walking to stand beside you.

“Oh, well, then I’m taking it.” You smiled, “it’s so hot in here.” You fanned your face before taking your jacket off and placing it on the chair that was in Carls bedroom.

“Be careful, there’s some weird scenes in that one. That’s why it’s my favourite.” Carl joked, you chuckled slightly.

“So what, like sexual stuff?” You asked, he nodded. “Let’s recreate them.” You joked as well. Carl stayed quiet, not knowing how to react. His mind went to other places…he couldn’t help but think about you and him recreating those scenes… “Carl?” You nudged him, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Yeah?” He breathed out, a very obvious rose pink blush spread across his face. “Do you really want to recreate those?” Carl blushed.

“Do you?” You looked at him, he breathed in before nodding.

“I mean, we only have like 5 minutes left…maybe another time.” You glanced down at your watch.

“No!” Carl startled you, your eyes widening at the sudden burst. “I mean, 5 minutes is enough.”

“Are you sure? What if my dad comes barging in the room and sees us?” You feared.

“He won’t, we can be quick.” You looked at Carl unsure, you felt your panties starting to stick to you. “Unless you totally want to, I’m not forcing you. In fact, let’s just forget about what I said. You wanted the comics, here you can have them.” Carl reassured you, he didn’t want to force you to do anything you didn’t like.

You found it cute how he was talking so fast, almost like he was nervous. The thought of Carl missing you and being nervous about you made you wet.

“Alright, let’s go back outside. I bet your dads waitin-“ You cut Carl off by grabbing his face and smashing his lips against yours. He held his hands over yours, you let go off his lips with a deep breath.

“You said we’ll be quick, right!?” You were already removing your shirt, Carl kissed you again before taking taking his own shirt off revealing his body to you. You gasped, running your hands along his body, feeling his light muscles coming out.

You laid Carl down onto the bed, sitting on his lap. He unclasped your bra from behind for you and took id off. He stared at your boob, mouth agape. “Can I?” He looked up at you, needy.

“Of course.” That’s all you needed to hear before his lips wrapped around your nipples. “Fuck.” You breathed under your breathe, tugging onto Carls hair.

Carl let go with a ‘pop’, you stood back up removing your jeans along with your panties whilst Carl did the same, removing his boxers. You straddled Carl again, wrapping your arms around his neck. You pulled him in, your lips made its way to his neck.

“Please, please.” Carl begged, you probably only had about 2 minutes left so you had to be quick.

Carl slowly felt your pussy, “Shit.” he was harder then ever now, he needed you wrapped around him so badly. He slowly aligned himself with your seeping hole. He slowly thrusted into you, letting you get used to the feeling.

“Carl.” You moaned, his arms wrapped around your waist, bringing you closer and kissing your neck. You whimpered, feeling Carl sucking on your neck.

“Fuck, next time I see you, I’m gonna take it nice and slow with you. Treat you real nicely.” He groaned, you rolled your hips in sync with Carls thrust.

You felt yourself coming close, “Shit baby, you feel so good.” Carl praised, his praises brought you closer. You bit your lip to suppress your moans.

“Fuck.” You held onto Carl so tightly as you came, Carl kept going to help you through your orgasm. You felt Carl release inside of you.

After you were out of the haze, you began to get redress. You retouched yourself, fixing your hair making sure it looked like it did before, fixing your clothing and soothing your hand over it to fix the creases. “I’m sorry this wasn’t quite the best ever, but I promise you when you come back I will treat you even better.” Carl held your hands within his, kissing each knuckle.

“This was the best carl.” You reassured him, “i’ll see you later.” You giggled, you gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before you and Carl made your way outside.

“There you are kid, I was getting worried.” Your dad said, folding his arms and a relieved look on his face.

“Sorry.” You giggled, you got into the car with your dad. Before leaving, you waved at Carl smiling so much.

“Did Carl not have anything good?” Negan asked.

“Nope” You popped the ‘p’.

“Why’re you smiling so much? Never seen you smile this much before.”

“No reason.” You looked back outside the window, he didn’t need to know the reason why you were.

a/n: i got lazy at the end :(( i’m sorry about that, i hope you enjoyed nonetheless! this is the longest fic i have ever written, my hands are very tired… also i just realised the title doesn’t really go with the plot but oh well… hope u enjoyed though!!!

thank you anon for the request!!!

(not proofread)

#carl grimes #carl grimes x reader #the walking dead #smut #carl grimes x you #carl grimes fluff #carl grimes smut #carl grimes angst #carl x you #carl grimes fic #negan smith #twd carl #carl twd #twd #twd fluff #carl grimes twd #carl grimes fanfiction #carl grimes fanfic #carl grimes x y/n

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lanadelnegan · 8 months

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My Past, My Future - Part 1

Negan x Reader x Daryl (love triangle)

Part 2 here

Summary: Daryl is in love with you, but you're in love with Negan.

Warnings: 18+, smut, love triangle, p in v, romantic negan, angst, breeding

Note: this was requested from an anon (Negan saying goodbye to Lucille and confessing his love to y/n.) I decided to spice it up and throw Daryl in there. <3

"Lucille, baby. If you were here, you'd be so fuckin' disappointed in me.... But hell, if you were still here, things probably never would have made it to this point to begin with... Turned into a fuckin' monster when the world took you from me. Hope wherever the hell you are, you weren't watchin'. Truth is? I couldn't stand seeing anyone fuckin' happy because you took all my happiness with you when you left. But baby... I think I've found happiness again... "

Negan sighs heavily as he traces the wood grain of his beloved bat.

"She reminds me of you. So carefree and down-to-earth. If you met her, you'd understand... You'd want me to be happy, right? Hell, I've done enough suffering.. even though I probably deserved it. Anyways.."

Negan brings Lucille to his lips, pressing softly as his eyes squeeze shut.

"What I'm trying to say is.. you taught me how to love, Lucille. I'm forever grateful for that. And you'll always have a part of me. You're my past. But y/n... she's my future."

He tosses the bat into the fire, watching the wood burn bittersweetly as it concludes that chapter of his life.

----------------------------------------------------------

"Hey, where've you been?" Carol asks, jogging up to Negan as he arrives back at Alexandria.

"Had to take care of something." Negan shrugs. "You seen y/n around?"

"On a run with Daryl.. They should be back soon... Why?" Carol scrunches her brows at Negan and his jaw twitches at the mention of Daryl's name.

Daryl has been there for y/n since the very beginning, which is partly why Negan spared Daryl and let him live. Y/n begged Negan to let Daryl come back to Alexandria after Negan took him to the sanctuary, and he allowed it because even then, he had a soft spot for her.

Negan grunts. "No reason."

-----------------------------------------------------------

You and Daryl have been gone for a few hours now and you managed to find some canned goods on your run, weighing down your backpack. The sun is starting to go down just as you see the gates of Alexandria in the near distance and you grunt, adjusting the heavy bag on your shoulder.

Daryl notices your struggling and doesn't hesitate to grab your bag off your shoulder, throwing it over his.

He's been there by your side since the beginning and saved your lives more times than you can count.. helped you when you needed it. Even during the smallest inconveniences, like right now.

"You don't have to carry that."

"I know." Daryl grunts, adjusting your backpack next to his own on his back.

The rest of your walk is silent as the guilt from the secret you've kept for weeks now eats at you.

You started visiting Negan a couple weeks after he got locked up in Alexandria. The first time you did it was to curse him out.. Tell him how you wish he were dead and how your friends didn't deserve what he did to them.

The second time you visited was out of pure boredom. Carol and Daryl had gone on a run without you, and you snuck in to see him out of curiosity.

The third time was because you found that he intrigued you. The conversations you had with Negan had become like no other conversations you'd ever had. You felt like he was the only person who understood you.

Monthly visits to his cell became weekly visits. And weekly visits turned into daily visits. You'd bring him books to keep him company, sneak him snacks, and eventually, one thing led to another.

And now he's your secret boyfriend. You've been sneaking around with him for weeks now, like teenagers scared to get caught by their parents. And while it's thrilling, your feelings for Negan have grown into something much bigger that you ever expected.

"Daryl.. there's something I need to get off my chest."

If there's anyone who hates Negan, it's Daryl. But he's also the one person you trust the most, and he's going to find out eventually. So you decide it might as well come from you.

"Hm?" Daryl grunts, scuffing his feet in the gravel as he walks.

"Promise it won't make anything... different between us?"

He slows down, looking at you suspiciously. "Nah, ain't promisin' nothin'. But now ya gotta tell me."

You sigh, hoping you're not about to make a terrible decision.

"There's... someone I have feelings for..."

His brows scrunch together as he glances at you. When he doesn't answer, you hesitantly continue.

"I... I think I might even love him."

Daryl looks at you again, a softer look in his eyes this time as you continue on rambling.

"I haven't told anyone else. I don't want anyone getting upset with me... Or... judging me."

"Who is it?" Daryl quickly cuts you off as the Alexandrian gates open for the two of you.

"It's.. um.." You sigh as Negan's name stops on the tip of your tongue.

"Y/n.. hey, there you are. We need to talk." Negan is already on the other side of gate as you enter. Daryl stops beside you, refusing to leave your side as he glares at Negan.

"Uh, yeah.. let's go talk over there." You say, widening your eyes at Negan, confused that he's talking to you like this in front of Daryl. You've both done a decent job of keeping your interactions with each other private, so this is out of the ordinary.

"No..." Negan cuts you off. "I'm done hiding. I'm gonna talk and you're gonna listen."

"Negan.." You warn him, noticing the death glare that Daryl is giving him.

"I love you, y/n."

Your mouth drops open slightly at his confession. You want to say it back, because... you do love him. But something stops you.

Negan brings his hand up to rest against your cheek. "That's okay, baby. You don't have to say it back right now. I've waited for you for this long, I've got all the time in the world.. I just.. I needed you to know."

He takes you in his arms, hugging you tightly and resting his chin on top of your head.

"You can't be fuckin' serious." Daryl finally interrupts. "Him?" He asks, looking at you with hurt in his eyes.

You nod, the side of your head pressing into Negan's chest as your arms wrap around his waist. "Daryl... I was gonna tell you sooner. I-"

"Doesn't matter." Daryl grunts, spitting at the ground in front of him. "Whadaya want me to say, y/n? Congrats?" Daryl glares at Negan before angrily walking off.

You glance around, noticing others watching the scene before them. "Negan.. we need to take this somewhere else."

"Okay.. yeah, I know." He drops his head. "I just - I'm so tired of hiding from everyone. I want them to know you're my girl. I fuckin' love you, y/n. More than anything... Why is that so wrong? Why should I have to hide that?"

You search his eyes as a single tear falls from yours. You know you shouldn't want him. You know all of the awful things he's done, but you've grown to know him on such a deeper level over the past few months and you can't help but feel so strongly for him.

If being with him means the rest of the world is against you, then so be it.

You wrap your arms around him and slam your lips to his, kissing him desperately. You're too caught up in the moment to notice the shock on everyone's face around you. You deepen this kiss, savoring the taste of him as your tongues mingle together.

"Negan.. I need you." You say in between breaths as he lifts you up into his arms by your thighs and your legs wrap around his waist.

You can't take your lips off of him as he leads you into your house nearby, not paying attention to the hateful glares around you.

Negan kicks your front door open with you still in his arms and you slam it shut as he presses your back into the living room wall. His lips travel from your lips to your neck as he presses his erection into you. You whine, frustrated at the material separating both of you.

"Negan.. please, I need you.. now."

He carefully lets you down as both of you tear away at each other's clothes until you're naked and he's left in just his black boxers.

He picks you back up, leading you to the couch and sitting down with you straddling his lap. You pull away from his lips long enough to look into his hazel eyes, letting your hands cup his face before running your fingers through his graying hair.

You can't deny that you're head over heels in love with this man, as wrong as it may be. He's changed so much since he was leader of the Saviors, mentally and physically. He's a perfect example that people can change, and you hope that the others and Daryl can finally see that one day too.

"You're so fuckin' beautiful, baby." His cock springs free from the hole in his boxers as he takes your hard nipple into his mouth, sucking lightly.

You hover over him, lining his tip up with your entrance. You slide down slowly, inch by inch until he fills you completely and you feel the tip of him pressing against your cervix. You moan out at the satisfying pain as his fingers dig into your hips.

"That's it, sweetheart. God you feel so fuckin' good." He praises you.

You wrap your arms around his neck to support yourself as you bounce up and down on him and he groans out, looking up at you through his lust-filled eyes. You press your forehead and nose against his own as you continue riding him slow and hard, making sure he hits as deep as possible each time you come down on him.

"I love you too, Negan. So much."

"Yeah? Fuck. Say it again." He says, his breathing unsteady.

"I love you Negan... I'm in love with you."

"Fuck, baby. I'm so fuckin' crazy about you."

You crash your lips to his again as a tear falls from your cheek.

"Baby, don't cry. It's okay, we're gonna figure this out. Fuck everyone else." He wipes your tear away with his thumb as you continue grinding on him softly.

You nod. "I know.. I just.. want them to accept you."

Negan gets up suddenly, laying you down on your back before positioning himself between your legs.

"Only one I need acceptance from is you, darlin'." He says before sliding inside you in one quick motion. He fucks you fast and deep, interchangeably moaning filthy sounds in your ear and sucking at your neck.

After moments of thrusting, he pulls back, settling on his knees as he lifts your leg, placing it on his shoulder. From this new angle, he hits your g-spot perfectly over and over.

"Negan.." You breathe heavily. "I'm -"

"I know baby. Just fuckin' let go."

You come apart at the sound of his words, moaning out his name as your juices rush out of you. Negan looks down between the two of you, watching you soak his cock.

"Goddamn baby, look at that." His voice is low and raspy when he leans over you again. "So fuckin' wet." The sound of his voice right in your ear sends a chill through your body.

"Want you to cum in me.." You breathe out.

"Yeah? You sure, baby?"

You've never let him before, but now that your relationship is public and you've both confessed your feelings to each other, you crave him on a deeper level.

You nod desperately and he kisses you hard, spilling deep inside of you as his hips stop abruptly. He groans into your mouth as his dick pulses over and over and you feel his warm liquid paint your walls.

After a few minutes of snuggling and kissing, he finally pulls out of you and the two of you get dressed.

"Did you mean it?" He asks, pulling his pants up.

"Mean what? That I love you?"

He looks to you, waiting for your answer as you pull your shirt over your head.

Your eyebrows scrunch. "Of course I meant it. Why would I say it if I didn't mean it?"

He shrugs. "Dunno. You coulda been caught up in the moment."

You laugh, walking over to him and sliding your hands around his waist, pulling him in for a long hug. You look up at him to find him grinning down at you.

"Nope... Still love you." You reassure him.

He nods towards the door. "You ready to tell the world that?"

"Fuck this world. It doesn't care about us. Why should we care about it?"

Negan chuckles, kissing your forehead.

Your face grows serious at the thought of Daryl's reaction earlier. "Actually.. I need to find Daryl. Make things right.. He seemed really upset."

Negan nods disappointedly, dropping his head.

"Oh, stop. Don't be like that... You know his opinion is important to me."

"He'll never give us his blessing if that's what you're after, y/n."

"I don't need his blessing, Negan. I just don't want him to hate me. He's been there with me since the beginning. If we want a future together, I need to make things right."

Negan's brows come together as he lets go of you. "If we want a future together? ... So, if he's not okay with us being together, that's it? You're just gonna kick me to the fuckin' curb?"

"Negan.. I didn't say that."

"... but you did." He says.

"Negan, please just.. I didn't mean it like that." You say frustrated, reaching for him again. Your heart drops when he pulls away.

He nods, sliding his hands into his pockets as he waits for your explanation.

"I care about him, too. What he thinks.. matters to me. That doesn't mean I'm going to let it dictate our future. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have worded it that way."

"Okay." He whispers, but the hurt is still clear in his voice.

"Stay here, okay? I want you to sleep here tonight. I'll talk to them.. get them to agree to it. Just give me some time and.. don't leave the house, okay?"

Negan nods as you reach to hold his hands, standing on your tip toes to kiss him. "I love you Negan. This is going to work, I promise."

Part 2 here

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asumofwords · 1 year

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Masterlist

Hi I'm Tee! I write fanfic and am entirely feral. Smoke, Fire and Ash is my first ever fanfic and is still ongoing. I'm in my mid twenties, and have always enjoyed reading and writing! My AO3 is the same handle @asumofwords

I write for Aemond Targaryen, Daemon Targaryen, Rhaenyra Targaryen, Alicent Hightower, Larys Strong (lol), but am open to writing for other characters such as Joel Miller (TLA), Negan or Daryl (TWD), Loki, Bucky, Zemo, Venom, Miguel O'Hara (MARVEL), Frank Castle (Punisher), open to most GOT characters too.

But I'm also open to writing for other characters so it's best to just ask if you're unsure!! <3

Am excited to explore these characters in my writing in the future!

Currently my requests are CLOSED!

BOUNDARIES FOR REQUESTS: I will not write for anyone who is underage (actor and character) and I will not write anything for stepdad/stepchild fics.

If you would like to be added to a general writing tag list, click here.

Aemond Targaryen:

Smoke, Fire and Ash (COMPLETED)

Dark! Aemond Targaryen x Reader

The Sublet Masterlist (COMPLETED)

Modern!Aemond x Reader, Roommate!AU

Lighthouse - Miniseries - (COMPLETED)

Sailor!Aemond x LighthouseKeeper!Reader

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Til Death Do Us Part - Oneshot

Dark!Modern!Aemond x Reader, Divorce!Au

Ettore from High Life:

Treat

Michael Gavey from Saltburn:

Midpoint Common Factors

REQUESTS:

Unsought Betrothal - Dark!Aemond Targaryen

Unsought Betrothal Part 2 - Dark!Aemond Targaryen x Reader

Cock sizes Drabble

What Aemond, Aegon, Daemon, Jace and Criston fancy.

Linger - Ghost!Aemond x Reader, Possessed!Cregan x Reader, Spooky Season >:)

If you wish to be put on the taglist, please let me know ! :)

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kennarose1108 · 9 months

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My World (Negan Smith x Reader !DAUGHTER OF RICK) !PART 2!

PART 1

You were walking with Negan as they were taking the stuff they got from Alexandria out. You went to go and grab some stuff but Negan grabs your hand, "Nuh-uh..." Negan says while shaking his head. "What? I'm just trying to help." You say. "I don't want you lifting a finger. I mean, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my girlfriend do all the heavy lifting?" Negan says with a smirk. You roll your eyes at him, "You're such a jerk, y'know that?" You say with a soft chuckle. Negan was about to continue to the joke but it was interrupted.

A ring of gunshots filled the air and on instinct, Negan grabbed you and pulled you close to him and pushed you against one of the trucks. He had his whole body covering you in case the bullets came flying this way. When the gunshots stopped Negan pulled away slightly to look over his shoulder to see one of his men dead about ten feet away from you both. Your eyes widen and your breath is shaky as you hear Carl's voice.

Negan chuckles, "Stay here." He orders before pulling away. You don't speak as Negan walks over to the crowd, whistling as he does so. "Damn. You are adorable." Negan says while walking behind his men and grabbing one to use as a human shield. "Did you pick that gun 'cause it looks cool?" Negan asks with a grin. You slowly step forward and stand next to the truck so you can get a view of what's going on. You gasp as you see Carl pointing a gun at Negan.

"You totally did, right?" Negan asks. "Kid, I ain't gonna lie you scare the shit outta me," Negan says with a chuckle. One of Negan's men then lunged at Carl and Carl shot him down. I scream as this happens and Dwight lunges at him and knocks him to the floor, grabbing the gun and pointing it at him.

"NO!" You scream while running towards Dwight and trying to get the gun out of his hands. He shoves you back and points the gun at you on instinct. You stumble back and stare at him with wide eyes. "Dwight. Back off." Negan says while stepping forward. Dwight lowers the gun and looks back at Carl. Dwight notices his knife and takes it off of him.

Negan steps towards Dwight, his face close to the side of Dwight's face. "I hope I never see you aim a gun at her again." Negan hisses. Dwight's breath is shaky as he stares down at Carl, fear written all over his face. "I don't care what the situation is... You aim a gun at her again and I'll bash your brains in. Understand?" Negan asks with a smirk. Dwight slowly nods. "Good... Now apologize." Negan whispers to him. Dwight's gaze slowly meets yours and he sighs, "I'm sorry..." Dwight whispers. "What was that? Say it louder, I don't think she heard you." Negan asks with a huge grin.

"I'm sorry," Dwight says louder. "Good... Very good," Negan says in a low tone of voice, a grin still on his face. "Now help poor Carl up while I handle this..." Negan says. Negan then looks at you, a fire in his eyes that makes your blood run cold. "You. Come with me. Now." Negan hisses while walking past Carl and walking over to you. He grabs your arm and pulls you along with him. His grip was firm but gentle as he pushed you along with him.

He pulled you with him until everyone was out of sight. He pushed you against one of the trucks and put his hands on each side of your head, caging you in. "What the hell did I tell you about guns? Hm?" Negan asks with a small scowl. You stared up at him as you take a deep breath. His eyebrows raised as you didn't answer, "I said 'Don't ever stand in front of a gun' and what do you do?" Negan asks before scoffing with a smirk. "You try to rip a gun out of Dwighty boy's hands and nearly get yourself killed." He says angrily. "Now I don't know if some kind of sisterly maternal instinct triggered in your brain or if you had a goddamn death wish but I better never..." Negan says before pointing his gloved hand at you inches away from your face before continuing, "EVER... See you do anything like this shit again. I better not tell you a third time because if it comes to that I will lock you in this place. Don't test me." Negan warns. You stare up at him with your chin quivering, "He pointed a gun at my brother." I say with a whisper.

"...He pointed a gun at you. His instinct was to point a gun at you and you are goddamn lucky his instinct wasn't to fire it." Negan says in a low and menacing tone of voice as he moves his hand back to the side of your head. You swallow the lump in your throat, "I was just trying to protect him..." I mutter. "I'm trying to protect YOU," Negan says angrily while grabbing your shoulders and shaking you slightly. "You could've been killed, don't you get that?" Negan says, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his eyebrows.

"If you get killed or hurt on my watch I don't know what I'd do," Negan says in a lone tone of voice. A soft tear rolls down your cheek and Negan sighs. He moves his hand to softly wipe the tear off your cheek, "I'm not saying this to upset you." Negan says. "I'm saying this because I care about you. I don't want to see you hurt or killed." Negan says, his tone softer now.

He holds your cheek in his hand before leaning in closer to you, his face now barely an inch away from yours. "Promise me... Promise you won't do anything like that again... Because next time... I won't go so easy on you." Negan whispers, his gaze burning holes into your skull. Your breath is shaky and your legs tremble as he made you feel weak in the knees as he was so close to you. "I... I promise." You whisper. Negan grins, "Good girl..." He mutters. He then closes the gap between you two and softly kisses you.

The kiss was gentle and passionate and it was obvious Negan was enjoying it. One of his hands snaked around your waist and pulled you closer against him while his other hand remained on your cheek. You could feel him smirking against your lips as he kissed you. The kiss got a bit rougher, he wanted more… So much more.

He then pulled away, your lips making a small pop as he does so. "Mmm... Every time I kiss you I just can't seem to get enough." He says while licking his bottom lip. "You taste as sweet as sugar..." Negan says with a chuckle. You chuckle too, "You taste like cigars..." You say. "Hm... Is that a bad thing?" Negan asks. "No... I kinda like it." You say with a smirk.

Negan grins, "Ohhh... You make me want to take you right here." Negan says while gripping your waist tightly. "But I gotta deal with your pain in the ass of a brother," Negan says before leaning in and kissing you on the forehead. "But just know... I am hard as a rock right now." Negan says with a chuckle. You smirk at him. "Now... I want you to go into our bedroom and stay there. I'm not asking, I am telling you. Okay?" Negan says while pointing at you again. I nod and he smirks. "Good... Run along." Negan says while stepping aside. As you walk past him he turns to face you and slaps you on your behind as you walk off.

You jump and turn to face him and rub your stinging butt cheek as you walk off. You grin and chuckle.

When you got to your room you sat on your bed and grabbed the book on your nightstand. You read your book for a while until you heard the door opening. You turned your head and saw Negan walking inside. When he saw you he grinned and put his arms out like he was showing you off, "My my… What a sight." Negan says. You squint your eyes and smile at him, a bit confused about what he was implying. Negan then walked over to you, "You are gorgeous." He says while resting his hand on the side of your face and kissing the top of your head.

You smile at him, "Your sister is gorgeous..." Negan says while stepping to the side, showing Carl in the room with you both. Your smile fades as you stare at him. Carl stares back at you and Negan looked between you both. Negan chuckles, "Don't you agree?" Negan asks Carl. Carl looks at Negan and stares at him for a moment before nodding.

Negan chuckles again before walking over to one of the sofas in the room. "Sit," Negan says to Carl and pointing at the sofa across from him as he sits down. You move to get off the bed but Negan, without looking at you, holds his hand up to stop you. You sit at the edge of the bed with a worried expression on your face. Carl listens and moves over to the sofa and sits down.

"I want to get to know you a little better, Carl," Negan says. "Why?" Carl asks. "Work it out. You're smart. In fact, I'm gonna tell you just how smart you are, in case you don't already know." Negan says with a smirk.

Carl glances at you, "Is it because you're with my sister?" Carl asks. Negan chuckles, "Well... Half of it." Negan says with a small shrug. "But you see, I'd expect a kid your age to be moping around, not doing a damn thing, except crying about missing the prom. But you... You go on a mission. You find me, you kill two of my men, and you're smart enough to know that I'm not gonna let this slide." Negan says, his voice going lower at the end and his smile fading slightly. A shiver went down your spine at his words... "But... I promised your sister I wouldn't harm a hair on your pretty little head. Plus, I like you, Carl." Negan says before chuckling and groaning slightly.

"Ah, I can't... I can't do it. It's like talking to a birthday present. You got to take that crap off your face. I want to see what grandma got me." Negan says in an excited tone of voice. You slightly glared at Negan and let out a deep breath... You were about to intervene but Carl spoke up before you could.

"No," Carl says. Negan didn't hesitate before speaking, "Two men!" Negan shouted, his voice getting angrier and more harsh. "Two... Men. Punishment." Negan says in a low and threatening tone of voice. He then smirks, "Do you really want to piss me off?" Negan says, his eyes still blazing with anger. "I want to keep my promise to your sister. Don't make me break it." Negan says harshly. Your breath is shaky and your entire body is tense as you see this unfold. Your heart breaks as you see poor Carl's chin quivering.

"Negan please-" You spoke but you stopped as he put his hand up again. Carl slowly reaches up and takes off his hat before going to his bandages. As Carl slowly took off his bandages Negan chuckles, "Almost there." He says while rubbing his hands together in anticipation.

When the bandage was off Carl kept it hidden with his hair. "Get that hair out of your face. Let me see." Negan orders. Carl flinched slightly when he said that, making your heart break even more. Carl moves his hair out of the way to show the gaping hole in his face. You covered your hand with your mouth as you saw his disfigured face...

"Christ! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up." Negan says with a huge grin. You glared at Negan before putting your attention back to Carl. You saw his lip quivering as he held back tears and that made tears well up in your own eyes... You hated seeing Carl so vulnerable and broken. "Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell." Negan continued. You lowered your hand from your mouth and tears fell from your eyes. You hated this. You just wanted it to stop.

"I can see your socket," Negan says before chuckling. "I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it?" Negan says. You glared at him again with teary eyes, you couldn't be a witness to this anymore, you had to intervene. "Enough. He's just a kid, he doesn't deserve this." You hiss. You see Carl lower his head as his lip and chin continued to quiver. You got up, not caring what Negan wanted anymore, and went to Carl. You wrapped your arms around his head and held his head close to your torso. Your hand was against his cheek, the side with the wound, and you rubbed your thumb against his cheek while your other hand was in his hair.

Negan's smile dropped and he leaned back slightly, watching you both as Carl's hands clung to your arm, seeking to find some comfort and safety from these cruel acts. Negan sighs before speaking, "Damn..." He mutters. "Holy hell, kid. Look..." Negan pauses before continuing, "I just... It's easy to forget that you're... Just a kid." Negan says truthfully.

Carl sniffles and he rubs his cheek against your torso, his tears wetting your shirt a bit but you didn't mind. "And I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I...* Negan says before sighing. "I was just screwing around," Negan says. You turned your gaze back to him, your face wet with tears and you gave him a harsh and hateful glare which made Negan flinch slightly, "You took it too far." You say angrily. "Just forget it..." Carl says while pulling away from you.

"Negan." You say, wanting his attention. His eyes landed back onto yours, "Take him home. He's had enough shit for one day." You say with your eyebrows furrowed and one of your hands on Carl's shoulder. "Y/N-" Negan speaks but you stop him. "I'm not asking, I'm telling you." You say, one of your eyebrows perking up as you repeated his words from earlier.

Negan stared up at you before smirking, "Fine. I gotta talk to Daddy Rick anyway." Negan says while standing up. Carl stands up with him before they both move to the door. "I'm going with you." You say. Negan spins around to look at you, "The hell you are." Negan says angrily. "I'm going whether you like it or not." You say while glaring up at him.

Negan glared back down at you before scoffing, "Alright. But I better not hear any bitching from you because whatever you see or hear while we're there..." He says while stepping toward you and getting close to your face. "Is on you..." He says in a low whisper. You continue to glare at him, the air thick and tense around you both. You then nodded. "Then let's go," Negan says.

When you made it to Alexandria Negan walked you and Carl to Rick and Carl's home. When we went up the steps and onto the porch Negan banged his bat against the door, waiting for Rick to open up...

But Rick didn't open up. Instead, the woman who was in the bunker opened the door. Negan leaned back and grinned before walking in. I walked in behind him and stood next to him as Carl spoke with the woman.

"Great, great, great, great, great, great!" Negan cheered. Negan licked his bottom lip before looking at the woman, "Where's Rick?" Negan asks. The woman began to stutter and Negan cut her off, "Doooon't care... Where's Rick?" Negan says in an almost sing-song type of voice. "Um, out scavenging for you." She says nervously. "Cool. I'll wait." Negan says with a grin.

"Um... He went out pretty far. They might not be back today." The woman says. "We're running really low on everything. We're practically starving here." The woman says. You watched Negan's eyes widen with the grin still on his face and he leans back a bit. You close your eyes and sight deeply, you knew what was coming. Negan never knew how to keep his mouth shut.

"Starving?" Your shoulders slumped and you held the bridge of your nose with your index and thumb as you felt annoyance and frustration creep up into your body. Negan then points at her and looks at her up and down, "You?" Negan asks. "By 'practically,' you mean 'not really.'" Negan says with air quotes. You facepalmed your hand into your face and sigh again. The woman stared at him for a moment before breaking out into a sob. She turned away from Negan as she cried. Negan shook his head and turned towards you and Carl as you lifted your hand away from your face. Negan chuckled, "Really?" Negan muttered as he stepped towards you both. You crossed your arms over your chest and narrowed your eyes at him, "You people seriously don't have a sense of humor." Negan says to Carl. You smacked Negan against his chest, "Stop being a douchebag. Apologize to her." You ordered. Negan sighed before turning back to her, "Excuse me." He says while stepping forward.

"What's your name again?" Negan asks. "Olivia." The woman says with hints of anger, frustration, and sadness in her voice. "Right. Olivia." Negan says before touching her arm. She turned to face him, "I am sorry for having been so rude to you just now." Negan says.

"And um... My lady friend here has been saying I shouldn't be so douchey and uh... I wanna be better for her." Negan says. You rolled your eyes when he said 'lady friend'. "So... I'm sorry," Negan says again. Olivia glances at you and then back at Negan before she nods. Negan then turns to you and has his arms out while leaning back, "Happy?" Negan asks. You just stare at him with your eyebrows furrowed and your arms still crossed over your chest. Negan turns back to Olivia, "She's not always this stuck up." Negan whispers to her but you still heard it.

Negan then chuckles, "All right, well, I'm just gonna put my feet up and wait for my stuff to get here." Negan says before turning away. "Olivia." He turns back to Olivia, "Would you be a lamb and make us a little lemonade? Now, I know I left you all some of that good powdered stuff." Negan says. "Well, I'm supposed to be with-" She was interrupted. "Make it." Negan orders, his voice harsher and it made her flinch. "Make it. Take your time. Make it good." Negan says in a softer and quieter tone of voice.

Olivia quickly runs out of the home and you sigh again. Negan then walked over to you and got close to your face, "That better?" He asks. You turned your head to meet his gaze. "Still douchey." You say with a small smirk. Negan grins at you before turning his attention to Carl, "All right, kid! Take me on the grand tour." Negan says. Carl showed him the home, and Negan checked out the water pressure and the comforts of the home.

Carl then showed him Rick's room and Negan chuckled before turning to you, "Y'know... We could always kick the kid out and screw on your dad's bed. Like rebellious teens." Negan suggests while lifting his eyebrows, not even being bothered he said that out loud in front of Carl.

You clicked your tongue and raised your eyebrows at him, not saying a word. "No? Not your thing? Alright." Negan says while putting his hands up in defense. "Moving on..." Negan mumbled with a smirk before leaving the room. You rolled your eyes and followed him. The tour was going as you expected... Which was just Negan screwing around the house... But then he got to a door in the home and your heart dropped.

"How about this one?" Negan asks. "Oh, i-it's just the water heater," Carl says. Negan looked at you both and could see the panic on your faces, "Are you serious, kid? Come on." Negan says before grabbing the door handle.

Negan opened the door and he stopped in his tracks. "Oh-ho, my..." Negan mumbles as he sees Judith standing in her crib. You and Carl glanced at each other nervously. Negan handed Lucille to Carl before stepping towards Judith. "Look at this little angel," Negan says. He got closer to her before lifting her out of her crib and holding her against him. He chuckled as he bounced her around before looking at you.

"Did you know about this?" Negan asks. You swallowed the lump in your throat and shifted around nervously. "Of course you did..." Negan smirks. He looks at Judith before looking back at you, "She looks like you." Negan says before turning his attention back to Judith.

"Let's go outside and get a breath of fresh air hm...?" Negan says to her before walking out of the room. You and Carl follow him outside and he took off his jacket and laid it on one of the chairs before sitting down. Carl sat next to him and you leaned against the wall of the house. Negan held Judith close to his chest and rested his chin on top of her head, "Oh, this little girl is precious." Negan says with a content sigh. Even though you were still a bit nervous you couldn't help but feel your heart flutter as you saw Negan be so gentle with Judith... You stared at the two with love in your eyes.

"Oh, I like it here," Negan says. "I might just have to stay here." He says while pulling Judith back a bit so she was facing him. Her little eyes looked around her surroundings and her eyes finally made it to you. Her eyes widen at you. Her little hands then reached out to you and she whimpered. Your mouth parts and you suck in a breath as you see her reach out to you. "Oh... Seems like somebody wants you." Negan says. Judith bounces a bit on Negan's knee and lets out little cries as she was a bit desperate to get into your hold... You had only met Judith once before this and already she loved you so much... It's almost as if she knew exactly who you were from the start.

Negan stands up and walks towards you. Judith pushes herself towards you and you gently take her into your arms. Her arms wrapped around your neck and she rested her cheek against your shoulder as you held her close and rubbed her back. Negan admired you both for a moment, he felt the same fluttering feeling in his heart as you when you saw them together.

"Oh... This is just beautiful." Negan says while placing one of his hands on your shoulder and the other on Judith's back. "Mmmm... This is makin' me feel things I've never felt before." Negan says while pulling you two into a hug. What Negan said was true, the feeling he had in his body was something he hadn't felt before. Was this what it felt like to want kids? Be in love? Or both? He was confused about it but he liked it. It was a good feeling.

You rested your cheek against his shoulder and closed your eyes... It was moments like these that you cherished with Negan. He was usually scary and a dick most of the time... But soft moments like these melted your heart. Negan gave you a tight squeeze before pulling away, placing a soft kiss on your head as he does so.

"Y/N. Can I talk to you... Privately." Carl asks. You mumble a 'yeah' and hand Judith back to Negan. Judith let out small whimpers and almost a cry when you handed her back to Negan. It was obvious she wanted to be in your arms some more. You followed Carl into the home, Negan's eyes burning a hole into the back of your head. You followed Carl until he spun around, making you jump slightly. "What the hell are you doing?" Carl asks. You stare at him confused, "What?" You mutter.

"Why are you with him? Seeing you with him like that makes me sick." Carl seethes. You sigh and look around the room. "I love him." You answer, sounding like a lovesick fool. "But why? He's a horrible person." Carl says. You sigh again, "You don't know him like I do." Carl scoffs. "I don't need to because I know this version of him. You're so blind Y/N." Carl says. "Carl. Enough." You say with a huff. "Is it some kind of Stockholm syndrome shit or something?!" Carl shouts. "Jesus, no! He didn't kidnap me Carl he saved my life." Carl's eyes widen. "...What?" Carl mutters. You take a deep breath, trying to find a way to explain this to Carl. "I was alone... For the longest time when the apocalypse started. I eventually ran out of food and energy to go and get food. I started to waste away." You say and Carl stares at you intensely. "Right before death... He found me. He saved me, nursed me back to health, fed me, took care of me... We just happened to fall in love down the road. It wasn't planned. I wasn't forced. It just happened." You explained. Carl just stares at you before looking down at the ground. "Listen to me, little brother..." You say while walking over to him and gently grabbing his shoulders. Carl's eye looked back into yours. "He didn't force me into anything... I can leave whenever I want." You say in a low tone of voice. "Then why don't you?" Carl asks with his voice cracking with emotion. You couldn't lie to him... But how could you tell him the truth? You knew he'd be crushed...

You took in a deep breath before speaking, "Because I don't want to." You say your voice barely above a whisper. Carl shakes his head slightly, "Why?" He asks. "I love him. I... I hate the way he sometimes. He listens to me to an extent but when his mind is made up he rarely ever changes his mind... If ever." You say. "But he's never hurt me... He would never hurt me, I know that. You just gotta know that too..." You say, trying to reassure him. "I'm safe. Whether I'm with you and Dad or if I'm with him... Either way, I'm safe." You say while squeezing his shoulders gently.

"How do you know he loves you? How do you know he'll keep you safe?" Carl asks. "Carl. I've been with him for a long time now. He has only treated me with love and respect. Now, I admire how much you worry about me. But you don't need to worry... He'd never hurt me." You repeat.

Carl closes his eye and sighs. He then nods and you smile. "Alright... Let's go back outside." You say before turning away and walking back to the porch. When you both made it outside both of your hearts dropped when you saw Negan and Judith were missing.

"Shit... A-Are they back in the house? Did you hear them come back inside?" You ask frantically, your voice stuttering a bit as you spoke. "I... I don't know." Carl says nervously. "Alright um... You check around the house I'll check inside." You order, Carl nods in response. You head back instead and start calling his name, "Negan? Negan!" You called out, looking throughout the home. You walked over to the bathroom door but before you could open it Negan did it for you and he stepped out of the bathroom, Judith in his arms. "You called?" He says with a smirk. You sighed in relief and your body relaxed. "I shaved... You like?" He says while raising his eyebrows. You narrowed your eyes at him and tilted your head before reaching up and rubbing your knuckles against his bare face.

Ever since you've known him you've never seen him clean shaven and somehow he still looked just as handsome as before... Some men didn't look so good without their facial hair, and some didn't look good with facial hair. But the fact Negan looked good both ways left you in awe. You smile softly at him, "You look handsome." You say. He smiles down at you, "Thank you, baby." He says before leaning down to kiss your forehead.

"So... That conversation sounded heated. Was it about me?" Negan says with a huge grin and raises his eyebrows. You smirk, "Maybe." You say while touching Judith's hair. "Hmm... Now... Did I hear that you love somebody? I wonder who you were talking about." Negan says with a teasing smirk. "Were you listening to our conversation?" You ask with a small chuckle. "Well, darlin' it was kinda hard to ignore when you both were yelling at each other," Negan says. "Alright... Fair." You say. "So you love me huh?" Negan says with a grin. You roll your eyes with a smirk, "You know I do." You mutter. Negan inches a bit closer, "I want to hear you say it." He mutters.

You glare at him, "...I love you." You say. Negan hums, "Mmm... Every time I hear you say it I just fall more in love with you." Negan says. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" Negan says teasingly and you roll your eyes with a groan, "Ugh... Shut up." You say with a small laugh and you push his shoulder slightly.

"Alright, enough of the corny stuff. Let's go back to Carl okay?" You say while turning away but Negan grabs your hand, "No, no, no... Wait a minute. Come here..." Negan says while pulling you closer to him. When you were close enough Negan bent down to kiss your lips gently. As he kissed you Carl came rushing into the room, he was still looking for Judith in a panic. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw Judith in Negan's arms but then his face turned one of anger and disgust when he saw what you and Negan were doing.

You didn't notice Carl had come into the room... But Negan did. As he kissed you he opened his eyes to look at Carl. His eyes were narrowed slightly and he glared daggers at Carl. He was practically marking his territory and Carl knew it. Negan enjoyed openly claiming you as his at the sanctuary, he liked the uncomfortable stares from everyone around them, especially from the men...

But this was a different type of claiming. He loved claiming you in front of Rick or Carl. He liked seeing them squirm and glare at him because he knew he was getting under their skin.

Negan then pulled away and smirked at the blush on your cheeks.

"Alright now pretty girl... How about you take this one while me and Carl get dinner started hm?" Negan says while handing Judith off to you. You nodded and glanced at Carl before walking off into the living room. You sat on one of the couches and bounced Judith on your knee. You saw she was itching her eye and she looked very tired. You noticed the binky on the table and you reached over to grab it, "Here sweetheart... Why don't you take a nap hm? It's been a long day." You say while placing the binky in her mouth. You leaned back on the sofa and rested her head against your chest, above your heart.

You couldn't help but think back to the very first time you held Carl.

You were eleven and your aunt Evie was bringing you to the hospital to see your mother and your new baby brother. You were nervous when you stood out of the hospital room, waiting to see what was going on... Then your father opened the room door to greet you.

"Hey, sweetheart..." Your father says before kneeling to your level and grabbing your arms gently. "Are you ready to meet your baby brother?" He asks. You nervously nodded and he smiled at you before standing up and stepping aside. When you slowly walked into the room you saw a curtain on the side of your mom's bed. You slowly stepped forward, your father inching close behind you. You then stepped past the curtain and your mother smiled at you, "Hey hun..." She says with a happy grin. "How's my girl?" She asked. You were about to answer but then... You saw him. The little boy on your mother's chest. Your eyes widened and your mother followed your gaze.

"Would you like to hold him?" She asks. You nodded and your father told you to sit down on one of the chairs in the room. You sat down and watched closely as he took the boy away from your mother's arms and slowly walked over to you. He told you how to hold your arms out so he could rest against you. "Hold him against your heart. Babies love the sound of the heart beating." Your mother explained to you. Your father mumbled 'Cradle the neck' as he handed the boy off to you. You took him into your arms and held him against your chest, right above your heart. The boy snuggled close to your chest and continued to sleep.

"His name's Carl." Your father said to you. As you held him you couldn't help but think about how precious he was... You felt a maternal bond with this boy instantly.

Even now you still felt that bond. You felt the overwhelming urge to protect Carl at all costs. To love him, to cherish him, to take care of him. Like a mother would. But Carl was older now. He can take care of himself... But... There was someone else you felt that urge for.

Judith.

You may not have been there since the beginning... But you felt the same maternal bond with her that you did with Carl.

As these thoughts entered your mind you hadn't even realized Judith was sleeping peacefully against you. You took in a deep breath and relaxed for a few minutes. You wanted to savor this moment for as long as you could. You knew you had to leave Judith eventually, which made you sad. You wish you could be with her more but it just wasn't meant to be...

In the middle of your thoughts, you began to smell something... Good. You hadn't been in a homey environment with something that smelled good in a long time. You slowly got up, trying your best not to wake Judith, and walked into the kitchen. You saw food on the island in the kitchen with Olivia making the lemonade Negan asked for. You turned your head to see Negan sitting down at the dining room table. He turned his head and smiled, "Ah, there you are. You sit next to me darlin'." He says, gesturing to the seat to the right of him.

You walk over to the dining room table and sit down at the seat he gestured to. "She's asleep?" Negan asks while nodding his head towards Judith who was still against you. You nodded and he smiled, "She truly is precious isn't she?" Negan asks. You smile and nod.

When dinner was over a bit of ruckus was going on outside. You honestly didn't even care what was going on because you were just glad that awkward dinner was over with. Negan went outside to see what was going on while you, Carl, and Olivia stayed inside. "I'll put her in her crib," Olivia mutters while taking sleeping Judith from your arms.

As she left you were left alone with Carl you both sat in a awkward silence. Your fingertips tapped against the wood of the table before Carl broke the silence. "...Mom loved you." Carl blurted out. Your eyes met his and your body froze... How could you respond to that?

"I don't think there was a day that went by where she didn't miss you... I don't think there was a day that any of us didn't miss you." Carl says while staring at you intensely. Tears filled your eyes, "Carl... Please... I need to know what happened to her." You begged. Carl stared at you for a minute before his gaze fell to the floor. He took a deep breath, "...It was the day Judith was born. She was in labor and she was having issues..." Carl says before taking another deep breath. "She was bleeding out and she died of blood loss..." Carl explains.

You slowly nodded at his words, your gaze fell to the floor also as you thought this was the end of the story. "I had to shoot her so she wouldn't turn." You gasp and your eyes shoot back to his face. A tear slipped from your eye and you let out a shaky breath.

"Carl-" He interrupted you. "I don't want your pity. I'm sick of everyone looking at me like a sad kid without their mommy." Carl says while rolling his eyes.

You stand up and go over to his seat and kneel on the floor next to his chair. "I'm not looking at you like a sad kid without their mommy Carl..." You say while placing your hand gently on his shoulder. He looks at you with his eyes glazed over with tears, "I'm looking at you like my brother who's in pain..." You say before sighing. "...Listen Carl. I know I'm not mom. But I want to be there for you... For Dad and Judith..." You say while squeezing his shoulder reassuringly.

You watched as Carl's face turned from a look of grief to almost anger. He shrugged her hand off his shoulder and glared at you with tears still in his eyes. "How can you? You're with him. You can't be there for us when you're still with him. You chose your path." Carl says angrily. Your eyes widen at his words and your breath hitched, "Carl..." You mutter. You were about to say more but the sound of a crowd outside caught your attention. It caught Carl's attention too and he got up from his seat... He mainly wanted to get away so he didn't have to be a part of this conversation anymore.

You both walked outside onto the porch and saw Negan playing pool with a man and the people of Alexandria watching. Olivia came out not long before you and Carl did and you all watched them playing pool.

The man glanced over at you before looking back at Negan. "You got yourself a pretty one. Hard to believe she came from Rick." The man says while knocking a ball into one of the holes. You watched Negan's face from across the pool table... You knew that face. Negan smirked, his eyes squinted and you could see flickers of different emotions in his eyes. He put on a poker face as usual when he was pissed off... But you could see it on his face and in his eyes.

Anger and possessiveness flashed over his face before it went back to the smugness you always saw on his face. You gulped... This wasn't going to end well. "Y'know... I am my mother's son. I can be the leader she was. That's what this place needs. That's what you need." The man says while turning to Negan.

"So... I should put you in charge, that's what you're saying?" Negan asks. "We'd be much better off." The man says with a smug smirk. Negan took a sip of his drink before setting it on the pool table. They continued to play pool for a moment, the idea lingering in Negan's mind before he spoke. "You know, I'm thinking, Spencer. I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts." Negan says while leaning back a bit.

"But he is out there right now, gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that lived here." The more Negan spoke the more anxiety rose into your body. Carl looked at your face, seeing the panic and fear in your eyes as you gripped the wood on the porch.

"He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done," Negan says with a chuckle. "That takes guts," Negan says before leaning down and shooting another ball into a hole. He then places down the pool cue onto the table, "And then there's you..." Negan started. You sucked in a shaky breath... Oh god... Something bad was coming.

"...The guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he could sneak over and talk to me to get me to do his dirty work, so he could take Rick's place," Negan says while inching closer to the man. "So I got to ask, if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over?" Negan says, now barely a few inches away from the man.

The man began to stutter, trying the best way to defend himself... But Negan stopped him. "You know what I'm thinking? 'Cause I have a guess." His voice got low and threatening and it made your body tremble.

Oh god... Negan... Please don't do whatever you're about to do.

"it's because you got no..." His voice was barely above a whisper.

"Guts."

Then it happened. You gasped loudly and you jumped as he plunged a knife into the man's abdomen. But oh god... If it wasn't bad enough Negan just had to take it to the next level. Negan slashed the knife across his abdomen, the man's guts now spewing out of his body. A loud cry came out of your lips and you stumbled back a bit.

The man fell to his knees before he toppled over, blood gushing out of his body. You had never seen something so horrific... Especially by the hands of your lover. He never let you see the gruesome stuff... He always made sure you were out of sight when he did something like this. But he wasn't thinking. He just acted.

Tears fell from your eyes as your body shook in fear. Negan taunted the group, taunted the dying man on the floor. Soft cries came out of your mouth as you stifled a sob. Negan grabbed Lucille and aimed it at the group, "Anyone want to finish the game?" Negan asks, a huge grin on his face.

"C'mon. Anybody? Anybody?" Negan repeated. You saw the terror and anger on everyone's faces... But no one had anger more on their face than the woman in the front of the crowd. "C'mon... I was winning!" Negan says with a smug grin.

Then, without missing another beat, a gunshot rang in the air. You watched as the woman in the front of the crowd aimed a gun and shot it at Negan. You let out a blood-curdling scream as you lunged forward to the railing of the porch, your eyes darting over to where Negan was. You were expecting to see his body on the floor, a gunshot wound in his skull... But instead, you saw him standing in the same spot before he looked at Lucille.

"Shit! What the shit?!" Negan yelled out angrily. In the blink of an eye, Arat had the woman to the ground, pinning her down with a knife to her throat. "SHIT!" Negan yelled as he stomped over to the woman. "You just- You tried to kill me?!" Negan shouted. "You shot Lucille!" Negan yells, waving around Lucille like a madman.

"She got in the way." The woman taunts. Negan walked around angrily, his eyes meeting yours for a moment before looking back down to the ground to look at the bullet that had been shot. Your knees felt weak as your body trembled with adrenaline and fear. You felt like you were going to pass out...

Negan picked up the bullet, "What is this?" Negan asks, moving the bullet around in the air. "What is this?" He repeated. "This little bad boy you made from scratch?" Negan asks, his eyes still burning with red-hot fury.

"You may be stupid, darlin', but you showed some real ingenuity here. Arat, move that knife up on that girl's face." Negan orders. Arat did just that, she pressed her knife against the girl's face. "Lucille's beautiful, smooth surface is never gonna look the same, so why should yours?!" Negan yells. You jumped as he yelled, you had never seen him so angry before.

"Unless... Unless you tell me who made this." Negan says. "It was me. I made it." She says. Negan chuckles, "You see, now I just think you're lying. And you are lying to me NOW?!" Negan yelled. You jumped again, the adrenaline now leaving your body and leaving you in fear. The tears started to fall again as you watched this unfold. "Such a shame. Arat's gonna have to cut up that pretty face. One more try." Negan says. You wanted to beg Negan to make this stop, that this was enough and that this was inhumane... But this Negan scared you. This Negan you didn't want to infuriate more. So, like a coward, you kept your mouth shut. "It was me." The girl seethes while Arat drove her knife down her face, leaving a small scar.

Negan chuckles, "Oh! You are such a badass!" Negan says with a grin. "Fine. Have it your way." Negan says.

'No... No more of this Negan please.' You thought to yourself. "Arat..." Negan started. Oh god no...

"Kill somebody."

Your eyes widened as Arat took out her gun. The girl screamed, begging for her to stop, saying she made it... But in a blink of an eye, Arat turned her head in your direction and pointed her gun. The sound of a bullet hitting the air rung in your ears once more but much closer this time... You screamed out in fear as you thought it was coming to you. You dropped down and fell against the pillar on the porch. Blood splatted onto your face and your eyes bugged out as you saw the dead body in front of you... She killed Olivia. Why? Why did she kill Olivia? What was the point of it?

Carl dropped to Olivia's side and looked her over. She had a gunshot wound in her bottom cheek and she was very obviously dead. Your breaths were ragged and your body shook in terror. Carl noticed this, he noticed your fear. He recognized this. He felt the same way when he saw his first dead body... The first time someone died in front of him. He quickly knelt in front of you and touched your arms.

"Y/N?" He mumbled. Carl's voice sounded so distant, so far. Your vision felt blurry and your ears rang, muffling out the world around you. You felt like you couldn't breathe, you felt like your world was crumbling around you.

"Y/N listen to me..." Carl muttered. "Breathe..." He says. But you weren't listening, your eyes were still locked onto the dead body in front of you. He followed your gaze before looking back at you, "Don't look at it." Carl says while gently grabbing your chin and forcing your face towards his direction. Your eyes finally met his, "Breathe... Take deep breaths." Carl orders before taking some deep breaths himself to show you how to do it.

"I know this is scary... I've been there... We all have. But you're in shock, and I need you to come back to reality." He says. Your body shook and you did your best to mirror his breathing...

When your breath finally turned back to somewhat normal your vision cleared and your ears stopped ringing... Then, the adrenaline stopped. Your face crumbled into a look of grief and fear as you let out a small sob. "It's okay..." Carl muttered as he rubbed your arm gently. "Here... Let's stand up okay? Keep your eyes off of it." Carl says while gently grabbing your hands. He pulled you up onto your feet and you looked at her body. Another sob came out of your mouth as the tears fell, "No... Don't look." Carl ordered. You turned your gaze back to the road but then your eyes fell onto another body.

God... They were everywhere. It was like a bloodbath.

Before your body forced another sob out of you, you saw your father now with Negan. Negan, hearing your sob, looked up at you from the road. He didn't want you to witness any more of this... You've been through enough today.

Negan sighs before turning back to Rick, "I'm gonna be relieving you from your bullet maker, Rick that and whatever you left for me at the front gate." Negan says. "And however much you scavenged, it's not good enough, because you're still in a serious, serious hole after today," Negan says with a glare. "Let's move out!" Negan yelled. He then turned his attention to Arat, "Arat... Go get her." Negan ordered, nodding his head in your direction. Arat walked over to you and pulled you from Carl. You were now letting out loud sobs as everything was so overwhelming to you.

As Arat pulled you down from the porch Negan watched. His heart broke seeing you in such pain... He hated seeing the look of fear on your face, the look of grief, and the look of confusion as to why this had to happen. He watched as Arat walked away with you before turning back to Rick.

"Y'know... I hated doing that. Especially in front of her." Negan says before stepping close to Rick, "Don't make me do this in front of her again. You hear me?" Negan says in a low tone of voice. He stared intensely at Rick, waiting for an answer. Rick slowly nodded. Negan smirked, "Until next time." He says before leaving, Lucille on his shoulder as he walked off.

You cried throughout the entire ride home. When you made it back to the sanctuary Arat dragged you to your shared bedroom with Negan and shut the door behind you. You let out loud sobs and you looked around the room in utter confusion. You didn't know this feeling, you didn't understand this feeling, you hated this feeling. You didn't know how to control this feeling.

In your spiral, you grabbed a vase in the room and threw it onto the floor with a scream of anguish leaving your lips as you do so. The vase shattered on the floor... But it didn't make you feel better. You didn't know what to do...

You walked over to one of the sofas and sat down, huddling yourself into a little ball and resting your head and arms on the armrest. You sobbed into the sofa loudly... Trying your best to relieve this feeling.

Meanwhile, Negan was feeling like shit. He didn't know how to speak to you after this. Hell, he didn't know how to look you in the eye after this. He had to start slow. He got himself cleaned up first. He made sure all the blood on him was wiped off before he walked over to the bedroom.

Before he opened the door he hesitated and listened for a moment, his hand lingering on the doorknob. He could hear your cries, even from out here. He sighed deeply and rubbed the bridge of his nose for a moment. He built up some courage before slowly opening the door. His eyes scanned the room for a moment before it made contact with your body. He felt his chest ache as he looked at you. You looked so vulnerable... So sad... So broken.

He stepped into the room and quietly shut the door behind him. As he stepped forward he noticed the broken vase on the floor. He sighed before stepping around it, he didn't want to alert you of his presence just yet.

He walked to the coffee table in front of you and sat down on it so he was close to you. He watched you for a moment, his eyes soft and his lips frowned. He then reached out to you, "Baby-" He mutter but he stopped as you flinched away from his touch. His heart nearly shattered when you did that. He pulled his hand away and sighed deeply, "I... I told you you shouldn't have come... The things I do out there I-" He spoke but you stopped him. "Don't you dare blame this on me" You say while lifting your head from the armrest to glare at him with your face smudged with tears and snot. He noticed the crimson red spots on your face that mixed with the fluids on your face from the shootout with Olivia.

He sighed again, "I'm not blaming you... But darlin' I told you not to come today. I knew it wasn't going to end well and I didn't want you to witness it." He says while shaking his head, his eyes falling to the floor.

You turned your gaze to the armrest and your face softened as another cry came out of your mouth, "I didn't want to believe it... I didn't want to believe what everyone said... I didn't want to believe you were a monster." You say with a sniffle. Negan flinched at your words. He never wanted you to see this side of him, how was he ever going to fix this?

"And now I feel like a monster too..." You say before breaking out into another sob. Negan turned his gaze back to you, his eyes filled with sadness and confusion. "What? Why do you feel like that?" He asks. You shake your head and take a deep breath before speaking, "Because... Because the two dead bodies I saw today isn't even the part that terrified me the most..." More tears fell from your eyes as you spoke, "It was the part when that woman pointed that gun at you. When I heard the gunshot I thought it was over... I thought I lost you... I thought you died." You say while a small cry, "I thought you left me..." You then broke out into another sob.

Negan sucked in a large breath, "Oh... Oh, babygirl no, no..." He said quietly while gently grabbing you and pulling you into his lap. He cradled you in his arms as you cried, "I'm here baby... I'm not going to leave you." He whispers in your ear as he gently rocked you back and forth, he was trying you soothe you the best way he could.

"And feeling that way doesn't make you a monster... You're just afraid." He says. You snaked your hands around his torso and clung to him as you continued to cry. "I'm sorry you had to witness that... Darlin, I'm so so sorry you went through this today." He mutters into your ear. "I can't promise something like this won't happen again... Because if I did then I'd be lying to you, and I'd never lie to you." He says while pulling you back slightly so he could cup your cheeks between his hands.

"But I promise I won't do anything like this in front of you, okay?" He asks. You sniffled and nodded. "B... But you also promised not to hurt anyone..." You mumbled. "I promised I wouldn't hurt your family. I never promised I wasn't going to hurt anyone else." Negan says. You sighed and your eyebrows furrowed a bit as you realized he played you.

He manipulated you, but you didn't have the energy to argue with him. You just closed your eyes and tried your best to not cry anymore. He then leaned in and kissed your eyes. His thumbs wiped away the rest of the blood on your face before he pulled away. "You don't need to be afraid of me. I'm not going to hurt you. Ever. I swear that on my life." He says, his hands still gently holding onto your face.

"I... I'm not afraid of you Negan. I'm just afraid of this whole situation..." You say truthfully. "I know... And I'm sorry." He repeats. He didn't know what else to say. Truth be told he wasn't good with this type of thing.

Now he just had to say what was left in his heart, "I love you." He says. He looked at you with sad eyes, hoping you still loved him and that you'd say it back. You sighed and rested your hands on his hands that were still on your face, "...I love you too." You say while looking into his eyes. He smiled at you before pulling you back against him, your cheek now against his shoulder. He sighed in relief, the smile still on his face.

You enjoyed each other's embrace for a moment as you knew it wasn't going to last forever... You both knew hard times were coming... But as long as you both stuck by each other, you felt like you could get through anything.

PART 3

#daryl dixon #the walking dead #negan #negan fanfiction #negan fic #negan x reader #negan smith #twd negan #twd dead city #dead city #maggie rhee #jeffrey dean morgan #the walking dead fanfiction #twd #rick grimes #glenn rhee #negan x you #negan smith x reader #negan smith x you

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lostgirl677 · 4 months

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Negan's wife

One-shot

Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Established relationship

Masterlist

TW: language, sexual comments, near assault, violence, blood

A/N: this is the first time I write for Daryl Dixon and I'm a bit nervous. I hope I did okay

Since that fateful night, I’ve been locked up here, sitting alone on the bed, the only furniture of this weird room. I didn't even know how much time had passed. And no matter how many times I tried to force that damn door open, it wouldn’t move. I just let out an exasperated sigh as I sat on the floor. I didn’t know what Negan had in mind when he took both Daryl and I with him, but it sure meant trouble. But the worst part was that I didn't know where Daryl was and if he was okay. I haven't seen him since they unloaded us from that truck. So here I was, alone and scared. Not scared for myself but for Daryl, for our people. I still had the images of the bloodied corpses of our friends, laying there. But instead of letting myself go insane, I tried to focus on what I could do to get Daryl back and to run away from this place. And I would have to be creative since they took all my weapons.

As I was lost in my thoughts, I suddenly perceived the noise of footsteps coming near my cell. My heartbeat quickens, ready for a fight if needed. I promptly jumped on the bed to get as far as I could from whoever entered the room. I heard a key unlocking the door and as the handle turned, I could feel my heart beating in my throat. When the door opened, The first people I saw were some of his goons. After each four of them entered and placed themselves on each side of the door, Negan entered. How I wish I could erase the smirk on his face with my crowbar. He snapped his gloved fingers and one of his goons, Dwight,came next to me and put a black dress next to me. I threw a look at the dress and then at Negan. His smile grew bigger.

Anger filled my veins when I noticed that Dwight wore Daryl’s clothes. I jumped on my feet and asked “What do you want? Where’s Daryl? Why does this fucker wear his clothes?” “Damn! This guy may never shower but he sure as hell has a fine taste in women.”Negan said, practically undressing me with his eyes as I stood up. He smiled at me and said “Calm down sweetheart. No need to get your panties in a twist. We are civilized people, we can talk calmly.” I scoffed at ‘civilized’, which made him smile even more. He then said “To answer your first question, I’m here to make you one of my wives, hence the black dress.” I grabbed the dress and threw it at him “You can shove it in your ass!” I screamed as he caught the dress mid-air. “Language, sweetheart. Damn! I like you.” I just gave the middle finger with a forced smile. He smiled and then continued “To answer your second question, Daryl is taken care of and..” “If you lay as much of a hand on him, I'll kill you all.”, I said, getting dangerously close to him. “Eh! Don't worry sweetie, I never do the dirty job. But you might like to talk to Dwighty-boy here. He's the one in charge of your lover’s captivity.” I turned my head to my left to throw the blond guy the dirtiest look I could. Dwight seemed to gulp as I kept looking at him.

It seemed to amuse Negan as he looked at the both of us. “Oh, I see you already met. Good, then you’re already familiar with some people here.To answer your last question, D. got promoted. He was allowed to take your dirty biker’s stuff.” My blood was boiling at this point. I was already preparing my fist to punch Negan square in the face when he suddenly closed the distance between us and whispered in ear “You don’t want Daryl to become chow for the dead, right? Believe me, you want to be a good wife.” He was too close for my comfort. But I stayed stone faced, not dismissing the threat underlying his sweet talk. He then looked at me and added “I’ll come back to see you tomorrow. I’m sure you’ll look sexy as hell in the black dress.” He approached his hand to caress my hair but I smacked it as I kept looking at him straight in the eyes.”Don’t touch me!” I hissed through my gritted teeth. He laughed loudly, earning the laughs of the guys behind him “And she's feisty too. I made the right choice choosing you, sweetheart.” We kept eye contact until he broke it to call his goons. “See you tomorrow, darling.” He said one last time, winking at me as he closed the door and locked it.

Instead of sleeping, I spent the night trying to find a way to negotiate with him. Or even a plan to find Daryl and escape with him. But the only way was to bluff or just blatantly lie to get what I want. And after hours of racking my brain for a solution, I decided something.I just hoped it worked the way I wanted to. All I could do was to hope that Daryl was still alive.

In the morning, I heard someone unlocking my door. I readied myself to attack just in case, my breathing getting louder as my heartbeat was going crazy. Then Dwight appeared, with a huge grin on his half-burned face and a tray of food in hands. “Hello, Y/N. You slept well?” I threw him a look and replied “Go to Hell.” He chuckled and said “Guess someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” I didn’t reply, just threw him a dirty look. Then I noticed. All I could see was fresh blood on Daryl’s clothes. Seeing red suddenly, I jumped on him, grabbing Daryl’s shirt and screamed “What did you do to him?! What did you do?!” He had let go of the tray in a noise of broken dishes and seemed panicked. He tried to get free from my grip but I was too angry to let go that easily. “Answer me! What did you do to Daryl?!”

“Y/N, calm down!” It made me even more angry, so angry that I kicked him in the balls. He fell to the floor with a less than virile scream. As he clutched his privates with one hand, he used the other to reach a pocket in Daryl’s shirt and got a small box out of it that he threw at my feet. He then said through laboured breathes ”The fucker apparently wanted to pop the question. Too bad he’ll never get to.” I grabbed the box and kicked him harder in the ribcage. And I kept hitting him, adding blood on Daryl’s clothes. I would have killed him if some other guys hadn’t heard his screams. I was blinded by a devastating anger, I couldn’t stop myself. Until one of these guys grabbed me by the shoulders to get me away from Dwight. The goons threw me violently on the bed and helped Dwight up. With that, they locked the door again.

As the anger slowly passed, I suddenly realized how reckless I’ve been. I was sure that Dwight would torture Daryl even more. I curled on the bed, clutching the tiny box in my hand. Daryl wanted to propose to me. He really loved me this much. This statement was a shock to me. In another world, we would have a real wedding with all our friends alive and well. This brought tears in my eyes that I quickly wiped as I heard the door opening again. I didn’t know how much time had passed, again. But it sounded like trouble. Just like the last time, Negan appeared with his goons, including a bloodied Dwight. It was the moment to take action.

“Well, well, well. Hello Y/N. Heard you had one hell of a morning.” he said in his insufferable sing-along tone. Instead of replying, I got closer to him, stood straight and looked him in the eyes when I said “If i become one of your wives, you let Daryl go” His smile didn’t falter but grew bigger. “Very straightforward I see. I like that. But, well sweetheart, it’s not a question to ask.” I stayed with an emotionless face when I declared with determination “I wasn't asking. I'm telling you how it's gonna be.” Much to my irritation, Negan laughed loudly.”Aren’t you a confident one, darling?” He said as he booped my nose. I immediately slapped his hand out of my face.He wasn’t even upset by my gesture and said “Bold of you sweetheart. I don’t know how it works with Rick. But I’m afraid that it's not how it works here.”

Instead of getting angry, I tried to hold my wrath inside and said “If you don't want me to raise hell, you better accept”. He giggled and leaned his hands to his knees to look at me. “.What are you gonna do, huh? You are alone here sweetie. And loverboy won’t help you.” he cooed as if he was talking to a pretty stupid little girl. How much I wanted to punch him. But I had to remain calm, somehow. Dwight suddenly said “Uh, Negan? She’s really violent”. He was instinctively protecting his junk just in case. It made me smirk “See ? Listen to Freddy Krueger over here. He knows what I'm talking about” I said, pointing at him. Negan threw Dwight a condescending glance before turning his attention back at me, smiling brightly.``Well, you really have fire inside. I’m definitely keeping you”. He said with a laugh.”Well, it was good to have a laugh. Now, put your dress on and get ready. Someone will come to get you in ten minutes.” He said as he got out of the room rapidly.

As I zipped the dress, I tried to ponder whether I should put Daryl’s ring on my finger or not. I didn’t want Negan to take it from me. But I decided to keep it hidden on my necklace.He already took the man I love away from me. I had to act carefully, now. I didn’t know what they were doing to Daryl, but it sure fueled my nightmares. We’ve been through everything since Atlanta and it took one asshole with a barbeled bat to separate us. When I’d get the opportunity, I’d definitely gut Negan. I swore it to myself and to Daryl. I heard the door getting unlocked again and a giant guy came to get me.

The walk to my mysterious destination was quite chilling. The corridors had a cold atmosphere to them. It wasn’t welcoming. Hell, even the prison seemed more cozy than this. As we walked in the maze-like building, something suddenly caught my attention out of the corner of my eyes. Brown long hair and blue eyes. I swiftly snapped my head to see Dwight pushing someone violently in a small room. It was Daryl, I knew it. Thus, I tried to sneak away from the giant guy to run in the direction of the room but he caught me by the arm. “Where do you think you’re going, doll?” he said as he dragged me away. I could hear an irritating song blasting from here. That’s where they were keeping him. I then swore to myself to note the path we took to find his cell next time.

When giant guy pushed the door in front of us, I caught a glimpse of the room. There were sofas everywhere as well as bottles of alcohol. And there were at least ten very attractive women dressed in the same kind of dress as me. He left me here and got back to whatever was his job. I quickly felt uneasy when all the women snapped their heads to look at me. I felt really awkward to be the center of attention so I tried to find a quiet place in the room. They didn’t even try to come to talk to me, which was fine by me. All I had in mind was the glimpse of Daryl I had in the corridor. His back was almost arched. I never saw him like that, even at his worst. They were breaking him, destroying him completely. I couldn’t stand it. Tears were brought to my eyes again as the images kept replaying in my mind. I just closed them to keep me from crying. “Hey! You okay?” asked a woman’s voice next to me.

Surprised, I opened my eyes and wiped them with the back of my hand. And I looked at the mysterious woman. She was a brunette with brown eyes. “Uh, yeah, yeah. It’s okay. I’m okay.” She looked at me emphatically and said “I’m Sherry. Aren’t you Daryl’s girlfriend?” I almost gasped. “What? You know him?” She looked at me a bit embarrassed. “Well, let’s say we met in the woods.” “You’re the one who stole his crossbow and his bike!” I exclaimed, suddenly understanding. She seemed even more embarrassed. “Well, you mugged my husband earlier today. Let’s say we’re even.” I almost choked. “You’re married to that scumbag?! The very one torturing Daryl, right now?!” I said angrily even though it wasn’t her fault. “Yeah, I was. Now I’m Negan’s wife. Just like you.” I felt like I could trust her, somehow. But I couldn’t risk anything here.I was sure there were snitches waiting for some intel to give to Negan. So I just nodded my head and kept to myself.

I spent some time in silence, lost in my mind when I noticed that the sofa I was on dipped under someone's weight. “Hey! New girl.” I tried to focus again on the real world to see a beautiful woman next to me. “Yeah?” She smiled at me and said “Tonight’s your special night. You should get ready.” “What do you mean?” Confusion was probably written all over my face because she added “ Negan’s gonna mark you as officially his. We’re here to prepare you, he’s quite rough the first time. He gotta show you who’s in charge I guess” I felt the blood draining from my face. “You mean, he’s gonna…” I couldn’t finish my sentence. “ Yeah. But don’t worry. It’ll hurt for a few days then you’ll get used to it. Just be prepared psychologically.” I wanted to run away, as far as I could. But I had to pull through. For Daryl. He must never know about it.

The fateful moment was here. I was escorted to Negan’s room and was waiting for him to come. It was the moment to find a weapon quickly. I ran to his drawers and tried to rummage through his stuff. After fruitless effort, I finally pricked my finger to some kind of tiny knife.Relief washed over me as my fingers curled around it. It was tiny enough to hide it. But I didn’t have much time to think about it when I heard the doors. “Eager I see.” He said in a smug tone as he saw me next to his bed. I turned to face him. His smile was the most horrendous thing I saw in my life. This predatory look in his eyes, full of lust, disgusted me. He swiftly approached me and began to unzip my dress. I couldn’t help but try to get out of his reach. He paused and asked, surprised “What ? Don’t tell me Tough guy never touched you?” I turned my head to not see him. “ It's a sin, really.” And as he kept unzipping my dress he added “Well his loss.” And he let his hands wander on my body. I had to hold down my urge to throw up. Daryl would never do something like this without my consent. He would never treat me like this. But I had to play the game to get where I wanted.

Negan made me face him. I was just waiting for him to get closer. My heartbeat quickened, it would be my moment soon. He was so focused on my breast that he didn’t see anything else. I wanted to punch him so hard but what was waiting for him was better. Swiftly, before he could react I got the knife out of the pocket of my dress to press it on his neck, next to the carotid. His eyes widened and he took his hands off me. But instead of panic, he seemed amused. What the hell was wrong with him? A trickle of blood was running down his neck.'' Why do you have to kill the vibe, uh missy? I thought we were getting cozy, here.” he said casually, as if I wasn’t threatening him at all.” As I was stucking the knife deeper in his skin, he swifty grabbed my hand to get the knife and added “Unless it’s some kind of kink?” He slowly licked the knife. HIs eyes were full of lust. Out of anger, I spat in his face. He wiped his face with an even bigger smile but there wasn’t any joy in it. “Well, you can’t tell I didn’t warn you last night.”

The next thing I knew, he was dragging me half undressed and my hair in a mess through the cold corridors. He then stopped. “You only want the dirty redneck? Well, knock yourself out! I’ll come back later and I'll be less charming, believe me.” I locked eyes with him one last time and spat in his face again. WIthout any other word, he threw me in a cell. The first thing I noticed was the terrible smell. But the worst was him. Daryl was here. My heart broke when I saw him all curled up in a ball on the floor. “Daryl.” I called softly. But he didn’t react nor acknowledged my presence. “Daryl. Hey! It’s me, Y/N”. Carefully, I got closer to him and caressed his hair.I felt him stiffen at my contact.That’s when the tears finally escaped from my eyes.”What did they do to you?” I asked as I kept crying. Then I heard his broken voice ask quietly“Y/N? Ya real?”. I saw him slowly getting in a sitting position. “Yeah, it’s me.” Relief seemed to wash over him until he noticed my poor state. He tried to wipe my tears away. His rough hand never felt so soft on my skin. “What happened? What did he do to you?!” he asked anxiously, probably expecting the worst. “He didn’t…? Please tell me he didn’t. They kept tellin’ me horrendous things he did to ya. I’m gonna kill him.” I put my hand soothingly on his when I assured him. “No, he didn’t. Didn’t have the time.” Daryl sighed in relief.

He then approached his hand to my shoulder to get the fabric of the dress to hide my bra.Clumsily, his hand got untangled in my necklace and found the ring. His head dropped and he said “Was supposed to pop the question. But I don’t think..” “Yes, Daryl. I want to marry you.” I slowly got closer to him and kissed him as I was supposed to after all this time. “I don’t know how or when. But I’ll get us out of here. I promise."

A/N : feedback is welcome. I think I need advices to write Daryl correctly 😅

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daryl-dixon-daydreams · 3 months

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"You know, Negan, I really wish you would give at least a little bit of a shit sometimes! I get your whole shitty backstory, blah blah blah... but if you could show the tiniest bit of loyalty that would be fuckin' great!" you snapped at him, charging forward through the brush.

"Loyalty? Hey—I'm still fuckin' here, aren't I? Why the hell do you think that is?"

You didn't say anything and you didn't look at him. The next moment you felt his hand on your arm and he spun you around to face him. He was hardly six inches from you. You'd almost been pulled straight into his body.

"That pretty little head of yours still hasn't figured it out yet?" His voice was deep and a little gruff, but you couldn't ignore the electric chill that swept through you. His hand was still on your arm.

You felt your heart and breathing quicken on their own. "Let go," you said, surprised at how weak your voice sounded. It made Negan smile.

"I will. If you say it like you mean it," he retorted.

You tugged your arm from his grasp and turned quickly to hide the flush in your face.

Prompt: "If you could show the tiniest bit of loyalty that would be great!" / "Loyalty? I'm still here, aren't I?" Happy Wicked Wednesday!

#negan smith fluff #negan smith imagines #negan drabbles #wicked wednesday #negan smith x reader #negan smith x you

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juuuulez · 3 months

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📰 | epilogue: capulet.

info: Carl Grimes x Saviour! Reader, 6 year timeskip, cute Judith moments, S10 Negan (aka Negan redemption arc), winter vibes because I wish it snowed where I live.

summary: Six years later, Carl and Reader consider what the future holds.

holy shit guys…it’s over! it’s done! writing this was so weird but also i’m very happy with the ending, and also getting to expand on Carl’s character beyond his death in canon was amazingly freeing.

i’ve got some requests to catch up on, but feel free to ask for stuff in the Capulet-canon! i’ll definitely go back to this and do little spinoff oneshots because they r very cute.

i hope you enjoy this as much as i did!

-> masterlist <-

Snow crunches under your feet as you treck back to Alexandria’s walls. A thin layer has dusted itself over your hair and shoulders, falling from the fabric of your jacket with each step. Slung over your back is a bundle of game: mostly rabbits, some squirrels, all tied up at the feet.

They’d designated you to checking the traps, a fairly mundane job that was mostly bearable, sans when the weather was this harsh. Having a small amount of freedom was nice at times, where you could be alone with the woods, though you knew someone was trailing nearby, shadowing your every move.

It didn’t hurt that much, knowing they didn’t trust you. You understood. But it sucked that it was these random assholes who hadn’t even been there during the war. Since when did they get a say?

Regardless, you felt relief as you arrived back home, if you could even call it that. The gates opened with a creak, allowing you inside, a familiar scene yet twisted in so many ways.

It had been six years since the war ended.

Six years of living in Alexandria, carefully under everybody’s watch. Of being torn down and scrutinised for mistakes you’d made as a teenager. Not that you’d call them mistakes, maybe that was your biggest flaw, being too prideful.

Someone comes to collect the bounty, to which you hand over the bundle, not before untying one of the rabbits you’d personally shot. That one would make your dinner tonight, besides, you’d been promising Judith a lucky rabbits foot.

The man doesn’t speak to you, though you aren’t offended. You’ve never been a big fan of small talk. In your opinion, there are very few you have the patience to converse with, and as long as they were still interested, then nobody else mattered.

Speaking of people important to you.

In the distance, you could spot Negan plowing snow along the main road that ran through Alexandria. You internally rolled your eyes, knowing that they’d been giving him stupider and stupider jobs recently.

There’s another figure, a young boy, who’s been tasked with watching him. He sits on a porch, a few feet away, kicking at the frosty ground.

“Hey, you wanna take a break?” You ask him, standing in front of the young male. The rabbit is still slung from your shoulder, along with the bow on your back.

He looks a little confused with the suggestion, and maybe offput that you’re talking to him. “No, I’m.. alright, thank you.” He attempts to brush you off, though clearly remains wary, almost unsettled by your presence.

You roll your eyes this time, not willing to continue this pointless back and forth. “Fuck off, okay? Just for a few minuets. Go waste your time somewhere else.” You demand.

Only a second of glaring down at the boy and he’s scurried off, likely to tell someone of your hostility. That’s one benefit, at least, that not many are willing to engage in a physical altercation with you, as they’d all heard stories of the war.

As you turn around, you catch Negan already watching you. A smile spreads onto your face, despite his rugged appearance, and the snow all over your jacket.

“You’re gonna be in deep shit for that one, you know?” He tells you, as if it isn’t obvious, though his tone indicates that he is pleased to see you again.

Lately, you’d been finding Negan more often around Alexandria, usually gardening or doing some other boring maintenance task. Depending on who was around, you were even sometimes allowed to visit him in his cell.

It hadn’t been like that for a long time, though. For the first four years after the war, you weren’t allowed any sort of contact. It was hard, and you’d struggled with bouts of depression on particularly difficult days, but things were starting to look up again.

“I don’t really care.” You shrug, smile turning into a downright grin as you approach. “Can’t make me do anything worse than hunting in dead-winter.”

As you crossed the path, Negan’s smile grew tender. He extended his arm to you, palm cupping the back of your neck and thumb moving the snowy hair from your face.

Though he had many regrets, letting you get caught up in everything was the biggest. In many ways he felt like he’d failed his job, which was to foster and protect a young girl. Yet, time and time again, you were put in harms way.

“What about plowing snow?” Negan sarcastically suggests, leaning on the handle of his shovel. The notion made you frown, straightening out the blue shirt he wore.

“No jacket?” You question, brows furrowed while you looked up at him.

The concern on your face made Negan smile, having watched you grow from a reckless teenager to a conscious young woman. “Nah. I have thick skin, doll.”

Regardless, you roll your eyes, trying to swallow your concern as you look to the snowy path. “I’m gonna ask someone about getting you warmer clothes.”

“I should be the one that’s worried,” Negan points out, “Hunting in this weather? It’s like they’re tryna’ kill you.”

He says it with a slightly bitter tone, genuinely irritated despite the fact that you’ve lived quite comfortably in Alexandria over the years. More so than him, certainly. Yet, the concern makes you smile, regardless.

“Someone’s gotta do it,” You justify with a shrug, “Trust me, I tried to dodge. Been feeling kinda shitty recently.”

“Shitty?” He echos.

“Yeah. Just.. bleh, y’know?”

Negan gives you a stern look, “I don’t know.”

You roll your eyes, not wanting to worry him over something you’d already written off as insignificant. “Just feelin’ icky lately, maybe a bit nauseous. I think this weathers fucking me up.

This causes him to let up a little, though you don’t miss the smug grin on Negan’s face as he continues to shovel snow. “Don’t sound like the weather,” He remarks, “Sure you aren’t pregnant? You and Carl are probably breedin’ like bunnies now you’re living together.”

The vulgar attitude never usually phased you, but this time your brow furrowed, glaring over at the man. “Don’t be gross.” You grumbled.

Luckily, Negan lets up, knowing this may be a soft spot for you. “Fine, I’m just teasing, doll. But you’ll tell me if it gets worse?”

“Yeah,” You agree, hoisting the supplies on your back a little higher. “I’ve gotta go get this rabbit skinned. And I’ll see about that jacket, okay?”

In return, he gives you a semi-enthusiastic thumbs up, though you know the emotion isn’t there. It makes you smile. You’ve truly missed him over these years, and seeing the toll imprisonments had on his attitude is jarring.

Nonetheless, you treck further into the community, locating your place. The small house sits near the back end, away from the main commotion, which you’ve grown to appreciate over time. Originally, you stayed there with Aaron, who was tasked with keeping an eye on you.

Then it was Rosita, and occasionally Tara. Back then, you were equally rude and hostile, and made a point to prove your disdain towards the entire situation. Of course, over the years, those walls melted away and you were forced into a state of acceptance.

Now, there was nobody watching over you. At least not in the safety of your own home. With the rate he was over, Carl practically lived there, though you knew he just didn’t like being in his own house with Rick gone. You’d understand how that would be unsettling.

The door creaked when you opened it, the haul causing you to bump it open with your hip. You dumped the bag at the door, and managed to unhook the bow with one hand.

You ventured further inside, intending to throw the dead rabbit onto the back porch to skin it. But you barely made it three steps down before your mission was halted, two arms snatched around your waist and tugging you back into a firm body.

“Jesus,” You huffed, “I didn’t hear you.”

Carl looks down, eyeing the left side of your head, completely flattened with the absence of an ear. “Shit. Sorry.” He apologised, having momentarily forgot in his haste to greet you.

The injury had thankfully healed, but your eardrum was ruined beyond repair. You were completely deaf from one side.

“I’m also wielding a dead rabbit, so watch out.” You remind him, shimming in his hold so that you’re face to face, though you hold the rabbit at an arms length away from his body.

“Then.. is this a bad time to kiss you?” He asks, and though it sounds genuine, the little smirk on his face indicates that your answer doesn’t matter.

You roll your eyes, a smile growing on your own face. Somehow, after all these years, you still get all bashful. “Never a bad time.”

No matter how much time passed, his lips would always feel perfect on your own. Carl kissed you like you were precious, made of porcelain, and the idea that someone was capable of being so gentle excited you. That, and it let you take control, something you lacked in your current life.

You shimmied your spare hand out of the snowy glove, so that you could wrap it around his neck. Lately, Carl had been letting you trim his hair, though you opted to keep it that same shoulder length, thinking it made him just adorable. He wore the bandage less, too, at least when at home.

Coming up for air, Carl pressed another tender kiss to your cheek, holding you a little closer. “Your hand is really cold.” He whispered.

In response, you dragged your palm over his face, squishing the cold flesh into his cheek. He groaned, finally letting go of you, seeeking reprieve from your snowy fingers.

You were finally able to continue down the hallway, though his footsteps followed right behind.

“Do you want to catch dinner with everyone?” He asked, “They’re cooking the rabbits down by the church.”

“I hate everyone.” You point out, bracing yourself against the cold air outdoors. There’s a metal peg hanging from the back porch, which you affix the rope onto, allowing the rabbit to dangle from its feet.

You can hear Carl has stopped behind you, leaning against the back door. “Besides, I think I wanna stay in. Still feelin’ kinda rough.” You say with a shrug.

It’s like a fish on a hook, where Carl can’t resist clinging to every little word you say. “Still? Do you need to see a doctor?” He suggests, worry in his tone.

Trying to ease his concern, you let go of the rabbit, giving Carl your full attention. “I don’t think so. I’m sure it’s nothing. A cold.”

Carl takes this as permission to dig deeper, wanting to find the root of this issue. He approaches, one hand settling on your hip, the other feeling your forehead. Though your temperature feels fine, he still remarks, “You don’t look like you have a cold.”

“Okay, genius. When did you get your degree?” You quip, the snappy attitude earning you an unamused glare, though it only takes a second before Carl is kissing your forehead, where his hand was.

It irritates you to no end that he’s so forgiving. But over time, Carl has learnt that you get defensive easily, expressed in irritated remarks that can turn borderline cruel. It’s his sign that something is wrong, but he needs to back off for the time being.

“I’ll skin the rabbit. You can lie down.” He suggests.

Your eyes narrow into a glare, not liking the insinuation that you can’t handle it. Though, you’re unable to be properly angry, knowing that he is trying to help. “Thank you.” You end up whispering in agreement, setting aside your pride for the time being.

With that aside, you decided to go and clean up from the hunt. There were little bloodstains on your jacket, so you left it hanging in the laundry for now, intending to deal with it later. Your boots were left at the door, and you quickly walked into the bedroom, intending to wiggle out of the snowy clothes.

Your hair was slightly damp, scalp a little sore from having it tied up all day. So, you padded into the bathroom, hoping to have a hot shower. But the second you looked in the mirror, you remembered what Negan had suggested. Albeit jokingly, but he still said it.

It was like a cruel history repeating itself. Being pregnant was a death sentance, in your eyes. Your own mother had died of birth complications, and that was before the apocalypse. That’s not to mention Lori.

Just the idea made you feel sick again. Scrounging through the bathroom cabinet, you found the beat-up packaging of a pregnancy test you’d stashed after finding it on a run. Just looking at it, all decorated in pink, made you feel worse.

You left it on the counter, hoping a shower would clear your head.

It didn’t.

The test was taunting you, staring at you through the foggy frosted glass of the shower. As much as you hated the notion, it wouldn’t leave your mind unless you got it over with. It was time to bite the bullet.

Still soaking wet from the shower, you fumbled with the box, hands shaking as you read the instructions. Whilst you peed into the little cup, you thought back to all the times you’d been intimate with Carl. The pair of you were relatively safe. But, maybe… maybe there’d been a few times you slipped up.

God, Negan was right. The pair of you were animals. It was like a late puberty, you couldn’t help it, you wanted to jump him at every opportunity. And now, this was your punishment.

A positive pregnancy test.

More like an execution date.

You spend a good ten minutes sitting on the bathroom floor, this indescribable weight on your chest. It gets heavier as time goes by, and you convince yourself that you may actually be unable to breathe if this continues.

Pulling on some clothes, you slowly inch from the bathroom, hair and skin still wet, though that doesn’t matter anymore. You can’t tell Carl, but at the same time, you need to.

You come to a stop at the back of the house, and before you can open the door, you notice Judith through the window. She’s sitting on the porch, talking with Carl as he attempts to skin the rabbit. His technique isn’t very good, but she doesn’t know any better. You hadn’t heard her come in, too busy wallowing in your own panic.

She stands, accepting a knife that Carl offers her, attempting to mimic his actions and take a chunk of fur off the rabbit. Judith struggles, not having the right angle, causing an uneven slice through the rabbits thigh.

Finally, you give in, pushing the door open. “You two are gonna butcher my rabbit.”

Judith turns to you, an eager smile on her face. She offers the knife, handle up like she’d been taught, “Show me?”

Though you accept the knife, Carl interjects, “She’s just had a shower, Jude.” He points out.

“It’s fine,” You assure them, rolling up the sleeves of your pyjama shirt despite the biting cold, “I’ll wash off with the hose. Now watch me, both of you.”

You teach the siblings how to properly skin a rabbit, explaining little tips and answering all of Judith’s questions. Though you’d come here to break some terrible news, you somehow find yourself feeling a little better. Watching Carl try and teach Judith something was heartwarming, and you wondered if he’d be this attentive with his own child.

That, and making Judith an aunt would be a gift in itself.

Later that night, you walk Judith back to her house, where Michonne was already waiting for her. She seemed relieved to know Judith was with you and Carl, given the girl had a tendency to investigate into some of the darker cracks of Alexandria.

There was still that one, heavy piece of information weighing on your mind. Though, it seemed to get lighter and lighter as time went on. When it came time to sleep, you were comfortably nestled against Carl’s side, your head resting on his shoulder.

The words were right there, on the tip of your tongue. It would be so easy to blurt out, yet you felt like doing some preemptive damage control.

“Would you ever wanna have kids?” You ask in a whisper, almost completely inaudible.

Given the circumstances, Carl finds the inquiry pretty strange. He shifts a little, laying on his side, so that you’re forced to face him.

“Maybe.” He says, though he sounds a little unsure of himself.

But maybe isn’t a no.

You stay silent for a moment, unsure of how to proceed now that you’ve gotten your answer. The silence causes Carl to grow curious, curious as to what has sparked this sudden interest.

“Do you?” He asks, looking you right in the eye, which makes you squirm a little.

Everything points towards your admission, but you can’t force the words from your mouth. So you just lay there, watching him, looking a little pent up and almost slightly guilty.

Fortunately, Carl isn’t stupid. He’s quite attentive, actually, especially when it comes to your health.

That, and he’d already found the empty test box in the bathroom, crumpled into the wastebin.

“C’mon.” He whispers, pulling you back into him, arms wrapped around your form. His hand makes its way into your hair, fingers twirling in the strands, keeping your head pressed firmly against his chest.

Carl swallows the lump in his throat, similarly unable to address the issue at hand. But maybe you’d rather he didn’t. “I love you, okay?” He ends up whispering, words uttered against the crown of your head.

You muster a little nod, shifting to worm your arms around his torso. You mirror his tone, quiet and hoarse, though that weight is finally beginning to disappear.

“I love you, too.”

#carl grimes x reader #the walking dead x reader #twd x reader #carl grimes #twd x you #carl grimes x you #negan smith x reader #the walking dead #negan smith

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sweatyrickgrimes · 2 years

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#wish there was more room for more characters bc i have thoughts #beth you’re a badass but i think in this situation there’s a very high chance of tears no offense #negan is just a bitch #a certain era of carl is like really scrappy so #think the rest are self explanatory #twd meme

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justsomegdude · 3 months

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Pass the time.

Leader!Negan x Alexandria!Gn!Reader

summary: Negan visits alexandria for his weekly supply and decides to flirt with y/n to pass the time.

warning: Negan is a warning in himself, sexual tension!

A/N: Who knows i might make a part two to this. i wrote all of this today because i felt bad that i hadn’t posted since last month!

The weeks seem to just play on repeat when Negan comes to visit. He pesters Rick, Gets his men to get the supplies, Sometimes dealing with conflict depending on what happens in the day. As the familiar sounds of trucks come into earshot, Alexandria’s residents went silent and most went inside houses instantly, The kids rounded up by their parents and forced inside too.

You stopped caring about hiding from Negan weeks ago now, before anytime you saw his face you would remember the ones who you lost by his hands, rather by his ‘most precious lucille’s’ hands. Now? You don’t think about what you’ve lost by him, instead about what you could still lose. You’re close to Rick and his family since you’ve been in his group for years now. So you always make sure Carl and Judith aren’t in harms way.

The gates were opened by spencer, to allow Negan and his men to step foot inside. Familiar whistle ringing through your ears, you turn away to stay on the porch of the house you were gratefully allowed to stay in. If someone needed you, they’d come to find you. You watched Negans men start spreading out into a few groups going to the only places they really take from now, The pantry being the most common. Although it is rare for them to venture into the infirmary, weaponry, or houses, they’ll do it every so often.

Your eyes connected with Negans accidentally. You groan to yourself that he was most likely watching you for a minute before you noticed. Now you wish you’d just stay inside, hoping that he wouldn’t come up. Your prayer was answered and somehow, Negan didn’t come up to you. Instead he strutted over to the pantry along with Rick close but clearly at distance. Sometime you wonder how Negan took Rick by the balls and twisted him into submission.

He used to never be anything but the leader since you met him at the farm. When he was diffusing conflict, helping hershel, beth, maggie, even me. Or how he had killed Shane the night the barn was burned down.. He was always meant to be a leader, so how Negan took control of Rick, it was scary in a way.

You didn’t even realize you started day dreaming until you heard noises, loud noises, from over at the pantry. Instantly standing up to get a good view, Negan seemed to be upset at Olivia, that poor girl. A slow pace towards the pantry to see what’s happening.

“Why can’t you do your job right?” Negans voice spoke menacingly as he leaned in, more so over, Olivia to scare her. Rick was seen near Olivia trying to get Negan to calm down. “Rick, you should really consider a new manager of the food around here, clearly she doesn’t take enough responsibility!”

Your eyebrows furrowed, quickening your pace a little so you were a few feet away from Negan, and Rick. “What’s happening?” You spoke.

Negan turned on his heels towards you. “Little miss manager-of-food, over here didn’t count her supplies correctly!” He said fast, looking back at Rick, then Olivia. “You’re lucky i’m feeling generous today, or else i’d do something physical about this.” Negan seemed more frustrated rather than angry, of course he didn’t care if there was a missing can, he just hated how often people around here wouldn’t do their jobs correctly. “I’m taking an extra can for this… waste of time.” Negan snapped and his men were instantly on it and grabbed an extra can, along with the others already taken and left in a hurry towards the trucks.

You hated this little game Negan played at, his boundaries were but also weren’t set. You wanted to speak up, tell him off, but of course you knew better.

“I’ll be taking a trip to the infirmary next week. If the person who works there, messes up, someone will die.” Negan spoke firmly and with that turned on his heels and walked towards his trucks. Your eyes connect with Ricks, and then you looked at Olivia.

Rick was the next to leave towards the gate, probably the one to close it behind the saviors today. Olivia was crying, she was so sensitive you felt bad for her. “Olivia…” You said her name quietly and went over to put your hand on her shoulder. “It’s just Negan being Negan, you don’t have to cry over it..” You put on the best reassuring voice you could. Olivia nodded and wiped her tears.

“I swear i counted correctly this time..” Olivia’s voice was cracking, and soft. She meant it, and you felt bad for her.

“Hey it’s—“ you were cutoff by someone yelling your name. “Sorry Olivia gotta check on what that’s about-“ With that you left with a quick pace towards the yell, the main gate.

“Y/N!” Yelled again, now closer you knew the root of the noise. Rick. Now jobbing over towards Rick. The gate was closed and the trucks were gone, the saviors already left. “y/n.” He spoke lowly. “We got a team heading out in a few hours for a supply run nearby, i’m going with. I need you to stay with Carl and Judith for me, okay?” Rick smiled. This wasn’t a reason to yell your name, so you softly shook your head and pinched the bridge of your nose. “I didn’t know if you were still at the pantry or not, sorry if it seemed like i was in need.”

With a sigh you looked back up at Rick. “Yeah i can watch them. Come find me next time, thought i was in trouble or someone else was.” He nodded in understanding. “I gotta get to the infirmary, check on those supplies for next week’s visit from Negan, come by when you’re leaving so i can head over.

As you sat down in your chair at the infirmary, checking over supplies. You weren’t like Olivia, you’d triple check everything even when one thing is added to the supply, you’ll check everything again. It was one of the things to cure your boredom or when, cases like this, happen. Your feet propped up on your desk while there was a box in your lap. You organize everything about twice a week now. It was just a way to pass time. Sitting at your desk for hours now, you lost track of time until there was a knock at your door, writing down the count you had, and then separating the counted vs uncounted so you could finish later.

“y/n?” Rick voice was heard as you walked towards the door. The door creaked while you opened it. “Hey! We’re getting ready to leave in a few minutes here, you got-“ You cut him off.

“Watch over Carl and Judith, yep!” You smiled, and grabbed your notebook from your desk. “I’ll head over now.” Ricks hand went to your shoulder.

“Thanks y/n, i know i can count on you.” Rick spoke, leaving shortly before you did.

Over the week, since Negans visit, you’ve checked the infirmary multiple times. You didn’t want to lose anyone. Negans patterns on showing up varied, sometimes he’ll show up days early, or days later. Shocking enough, he visited exactly a week from lasts visit. He had to mean business on what he said with the stock. Quickly making your way to the infirmary, to avoid them going through it without you.

Once inside the infirmary, and since you already checked the stock many.. many times, you sat on your desk and were just doodling in your notebook. You kept that notebook on you almost all the time, there were doodles and sayings, but you also kept things special to you written in it, people’s names, items from your childhood, it was just a reminder for yourself that there are good things to think about in this new world.

You heard a knock at the door, assuming it was Rick you just said, “Come in.”, still doodling in your book. Once the door opened the footsteps that followed were heavier than Ricks. Your eyes shot up and instantly connected with the man just a few feet from you. Negan. “oh, i thought-“ You started but it would sound dumb so you didn’t finish. Closing your notebook and setting it aside.

“You thought..?” Negans eyebrows raise as he takes a slow, dragging, walk over to you. Intimidation tactic that didn’t quite work on you.

“I thought you were Rick.” You spoke truthfully, you didn’t have a reason to lie, but you did have a reason not to tell him. He nodded and leaned against your desk.

There was an uncomfortable silence. How to stop it, not sure. You felt him staring so you looked up at him. connecting with his hazel eyes, that you damned yourself for realizing the color of. “So Ricky the Pricky got you doing infirmary work?” Negans voice filled up the silence, you couldn’t tell if silence or his voice were worse.

“I enjoy it, and am probably the only one to actually know what they’re doing.. so yeah?” You said back, finally forcing your eyes out the window instead of at him.

Your peripheral though, kept him in view. you saw his face rise up and you glanced at him. he was smirking. Knowing a stupid remark was coming. “Are you calm around me, or are you just the shy type?” That wasn’t that you expected of him.

“What?” Your eyebrows stitch together as you looked back at him, this time his eyes trained on the floor.

He clicked his tongue before talking again. “most people here, would be glaring up a storm. talking me out of being in the same room as them.“ He finally met your eyes. He was smiling, his stupid usual smile. “Hell, some would flip me the bird by now. Not you, why?” He was one for always keeping eye contact, so you did too.

You took a little longer to answer, thinking of an appropriate response. “I don’t know.” You shrugged. What were you supposed to say? The reason people cower away is because well.. they’re cowards. You’ve been put in situation and Negan, as intimidating as he is to eveyrone, doesn’t intimidate you. “Why should i be scared, when all you’re doing is sitting… well leaning, next to me.” Was all the reason you could muster up.

This made Negan let out a laugh. “Honestly i’d get upset if you were scared of me.. you’re such a pretty (girl/boy) I mean, why would i want someone like you scared of me?” He flirted, you don’t know if it was to purposely make you uncomfortable, or just him being bored, hell maybe he just wanted to flirt with you. you didn’t know. Finally breaking eye contact to look down. “Ah, did i strike a little sensitive spot? can’t handle being complimented?” Negan was talking in a way that made you feel like you were being made fun of. He was just playing his game, this wasn’t anything to do with you in specific.

Your view was set onto the floor under your feet. Not looking back up at him. You didn’t want to reply until he took a gentle grasp of your jaw and made you look at him. “Don’t get all shy now.” His voice was low and raspy, purposely sending a shiver down your spine. He kept his firm grip, and stared into your eyes.

“I..” you started quietly, you don’t know what to say. “It was just..” You paused, not knowing how to word it. “I just don’t get compliments a lot, and it’s weird coming from you..” You spoke truthfully.

He hummed quietly, nodding. Still not letting go of your jaw. He wanted you to look at him. “You’re trembling.” He smirked, you didn’t even realize but when you did your mouth opened to say something, but Negan being faster. “I bet i could get you wrapped around my finger if i tried. Compliment you more.” His smirk increased as he leaned in. it was only teasing.. he’d never actually kiss you.

“Negan..” You whispered his name. He shushed you, his hand moving from grasping your jaw into pinching your chin in between his pointer and thumb. He lifted your head up a little.

Negan moved his body to standing before you, his grip still just as firm. Subconsciously your legs separated as you leaned back just a little, a way to get further away from him. He took this as an invitation, stepping in between your legs. His hand went to the table right next to your hip, leaning over you now.

“Do i scare you y/n y/l/n?” Negan spoke. Your breathing quickened. Maybe you were uncomfortable, or maybe you somehow found this attractive. He leaned over just a little more, his thighs rubbing against yours a bit.

Negan licked his lips. “No.. of course not.” You spoke, less firm than you wanted too. “I’m just…” You actually didn’t know what to say.

Negans hand slid from the table onto your thigh. His eyes went to his own hand before back to your eyes. “so if you’re not scared.. why is your breath heavy?” He smirked, knowing how he affected you.

Your eyes went to his arm, since his hand was still on your chin you couldn’t quite look completely at where his hand laid. Negan finally let go of your chin. No response from you.

“Speak when spoken to.” He spoke, you leaned up to sit a little more comfortably, even though getting closer to Negan. His thumb rubbed your thigh, made you even more speechless.

“I’m.. awkward, under the circumstances.” you whispered, you watched his thumb rub at your thigh. “Why are you doing this..?” You tilted your head.

He leaned closer now your lips only a few inches apart. “Because you’re letting me.” His gripped your thigh now instead of rubbing it. No one’s touched you like this and you didn’t know how to react. “Can i kiss you?” His voice was quiet, his eyes weren’t looking away from your lips.

You didn’t know, you wanted it but remembering who he was your hand went to his chest and gently pushed him back. “This is a bad idea.” Negan only smirked at your response. His hand stoped holding your thigh, grabbing the bottles of medicine and stepping back.

“Well i hope to see you around y/n. Keep me and what i just did in your thoughts.” He winked, leaving the infirmary. Instant regret with how you just rejected something that you most definitely wanted. You damned yourself for being scared.

tag list :)!!

@pinchofhoney / @starstruck-loner

#jeffrey dean morgan #negan #negan smith #the walking dead negan #twd negan #jdm #jdmorgan #negan smith x reader #negan x female reader #negan x male reader #jeffreymorgan #negan x you

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ddaz3d-and-cc0nfused · 10 months

Note

Hi I saw you ask for daryl requests so i was wondering if u could do a daryl fic where the reader and daryl are getting drunk together one night in alexandria and they’re talking about past relationships and they start talking about types and the reader basically says daryl’s her type without saying it if u know what i mean? and it’s just cute angst and skinny love? love your writing so much btw :)

༉‧₊˚. 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 || 𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐲𝐥 𝐝𝐢𝐱𝐨𝐧

― pairings: daryl dixon x plus size!reader

― era: early season 5/pre-negan

― summary: a night of drinking turns into talking about your types, and you can’t help but reveal that daryl is yours.

― warnings: mutual pining, awkward romance, daryl's habit of going quiet, a little overthinking, generally none! It's all fluff from there!

― wc: 1376

⋆ a/n: every time i look at my inbox, i die a little inside because of how absolutely horrible i am at answering requests but so far, i've been really trying my best! i really liked how this one turned out and i hope you do too! thank you for loving my writing, it means so much truly!

masterlist | AO3

Alexandria, hopefully your forever home and a new beginning.

You were deeply aware of your family’s concerns and distrust for the community and its inhabitants, that they had their senses turned on to hyperawareness mode despite having been shown nothing but kindness so far. You understood their concerns though, because you had to undergo the atrocities that were Terminus before you had gotten to this supposed heaven on earth. You were lucky to have so many people by your side when it happened.. to have Daryl.

There was a hopeful ignorance when it came to your relationship with Daryl. You were crushing on him. Hard. Like, full twirling your hair and kicking your feet kind - only mentally of course, but you had a moment of weakness back in your cell at the prison. Despite having known Daryl since the Quarry, there had been no progress in your relationship.. romantically. He had shown no signs of interest, only gracing you with the reddening of his ears whenever you’d playfully flirt with him or call him a cutesy nickname. You were only able to hide your playful affections behind the fact that Carol teased him like that too, so it would appear your words didn’t come with a deeper meaning.

Sometimes you wished you could stop hiding behind your cowardice, but now, you weren’t so sure.

The warmth of the alcohol coursed through your body as you sat next to Daryl on the porch of the home everyone shared with the rest of your family. You had snagged it from Deanna’s party once you had seen Daryl hadn’t made an appearance even though it was kind of painfully obvious to everyone else he wouldn’t show. The only reason you had showed up was because you had dressed quite nicely, a sundress kissing the skin of your full thighs as you searched for your loverboy. You found him perched on the railing, sharpening away at an arrow when your approaching form caught his attention.

“Care to join me?” You grinned as you waved the bottle in the air.

There you sat, both of your backs to the side of the house as his leather laid over your bare legs. He had insisted that he didn’t want you to get cold, forever the southern gentleman.

Your past conversation had grown to become a stalemate, so, your fuzzy brain refusing to let the energy die, stupidly asked him, “Do you think any of the girls here are cute?” You desperately tried to play off your bold question as just simply teasing him. He shot you a surprised look from the corner of his eye before looking back ahead, taking the wine from your hand gently and holding the bottle by the neck of it.

“Nah.” He said, before taking a heavy swig.

“Oh.” You nodded to yourself, the feeling of relief settling in your gut before he handed the drink back to you. “I don’t blame you, my last relationship before all this was..” You shook your head, “So shitty.” You exhaled.

Daryl cleared his throat before speaking. “Do ya.. Do ya wanna talk about it?” He asked unsurely. “There’s not much to talk about, y’know? The whole situation was pretty cut and dry. We get together, we’re in the honeymoon stage, I start to notice I’ve never met any of his friends or family, he lies and I believe him because I assume he loves me, then, I catch him cheating.” You finish with a sigh and take your turn of consuming the alcoholic beverage. “It’s okay though,” You start once again, “Because in the end I realize he wasn’t even my type.” You shrug to yourself with a laugh.

“Speaking of which,” You turn your attention towards the archer next to you. “What’s your type?”

Your question catches him off guard enough that he let out a surprised choked noise from the back of his throat. “I dunno.” He answers, but he can feel a blush slowly creeping up the back of his neck and the tips of his ears. “Oh, c’mon!” You said with a playful scoff. “I know you have this whole, ‘Southern Gentleman,’ thing going, but everyone has a type. So, don’t even try to bullshit me, Daryl.” He looked at you then looked back ahead, straightening his sitting position.

“I guess.. Someone who knows how’ta fight, brave, uh-” He was growing more uncomfortable by the second, but not because he felt pressured to answer you, but because he was afraid that he might’ve been too obvious about how he felt for you. What? Does he just straight up say you’re his type? That he hadn’t even entertained the thought of other women because you were the only woman on his mind?

“I don’ care about what she looks like. Ain’ shallow like tha’.” With a nod, you pursed your lips in contentment at his answer. He swallowed nervously, “Since yer quizzin’ me, what about you? Since ya said yer ex wa’nt yer type.”

“Well..” You began. “I want someone who’s strong, and kind. A man that’s got some softness to him, y’know? All rough around the edges when inside he’s a big ol’ softy, just for me and his family.” You looked at him softly with a sheepish smile. “Now for looks,” You drank in his disheveled appearance, and suddenly Daryl felt like an ant burning under a microscope, his hands twitching at his sides with the need to suddenly fix his hair.

“Long hair, maybe shoulder-length. Crunealen eyes, the kind that you could get lost in if you stared for too long. Kind of a hard-ass, and very, very stubborn, but that’s only because he wants to keep everyone safe, even if that puts his life in danger a million times over.” You reached a shaky hand up, your motions never wavering despite the waves of nausea that were beginning to storm in your gut. You pushed a strand of hair out of the man’s face, tucking it behind his ear. “And..” You say breathlessly. “His name is Daryl Dixon.”

Daryl’s completely stunned into silence; what does he say? What does he do? You clearly feel the same way, so why won’t he move? Goddamnit, Daryl, move.

Your hand cupped his cheek, stroking his scruff with your thumb softly. Where did this sudden confidence come from? You were still reeling from your lady balls suddenly dropping as you waited anxiously for Daryl to say something, anything that would calm your racing heart and your spiraling head.

You let go of his cheek in embarrassment, a shadow of shame settled over your features as you looked like you were going to explode at any moment. God, how could you have overstepped like that? It was as though all of the wine that was in your system suddenly evaporated, the liquid courage burning away and leaving behind the same awkward person that was you.

“I’m sorry.” You said hastily, tugging his jacket off of your lap in preparation of standing up.

Much to your surprise, Daryl gripped your wrist, gently tugging on your arm so that you would remain seated. “Don’ go.. ‘M jus’ surprised ‘s all.” His confession was shy, almost bashful as he gazed upon where his hand rested on your skin and let go. You didn’t allow him to do so, taking his hand and intertwining your fingers together. There was an adorable blush that spread from his ears to his neck that was only visible when the moon’s shine would ever so often grace his tanned skin.

“The good kind of surprised?” You asked hopefully. He nodded his head slowly, gazing into your eyes with a type of passion you had never seen before, at least never projected towards you; or maybe it had been there the whole time and you were just too deep into your head to notice, to notice how whenever you laughed he couldn’t help the small smile that graced his lips, how worried he’d be when you got hurt to the point that he didn’t know what to do with himself, and maybe one day he’d be able to tell you all of that.

“So, how about it, Dixon? Am I your type too?”

“To a T.”

ೃ⁀➷ my lovely taglist!: @alina02 @louderfortheback @minervadashwood @fandomsarelifee @theendofthe70s @nomajdetective @mgg-theprettiestboy @phoenixblack89 @murdadixon

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the-dixon-effect · 4 months

Text

centre of the universe ✧.*

a/n: 4 months later i'm back, so sorry guys. i got a little caught up. been missing daryl most of all too. i'm feeling a little rusty and tired but here's a cute little thing ig!

requested by: @pandarooooo-blog find the request here :)

summary: having married Negan in order to rescue Daryl from the Sanctuary, you found yourself, 9 months later, raising a kid of your own. the baby being Negan's, you hadn't been particularly enthusiastic to embrace the situation.

words: 1.2k

era: season 8-9, post-saviours

Sitting around Rick and Michonne's dining table embraced by the warm glow of the sky late into summer - what felt like a fever dream at it's best. The past year had left you bruised, emotionally and physically, Hell, you hadn't caught break since the world went to shit. But today, the air was pregnant with sweetness and laughter as you bathed in the company of your family. You stood up from the table once the feast was presumed finished. Your daughter giggled softly, cradled in your arms - her innocence a trait that you only mirrored while everybody fought for her attention.

Rosita imitated her best baby-voice, babbling some nonsensical rhetoric about her being "the cutest" and the "sweetest", while Rick reminisced about the days back on the road with Judith years ago. Noticing this, you thanked him sincerely, "You built this Rick, for Judith, for her," you gestured down to the precious being in your arms. "For all of us." The atmosphere was silent despite the extent of nods and smiles in agreement - the only sound was the sweet laughter of your darling girl.

Daryl, who had been standing by your side, broke the silence "She looks jus' like her mama," he spoke proudly, as though there were a part of him somewhere that wished he was the father; a notion that only remained at the forefront of Daryl's mind when he saw your sweet figure.

"Right?" you agreed, pursuing Daryl's gaze aside from the rest of group. Daryl, as loyal as ever, had stuck by your side during the pregnancy and made sure you were never hungry, uncomfortable, God forbid you were ever unsafe inside the walls. For that you were grateful. He remained your 'best friend', though, and a part of you needed him to know that you wanted him in other ways.

Tears came streaming down your face faster than you could register the situation. Two weeks ago, you kneeled before Negan and the Saviours in the depths of the night. A week later, you were married to Negan, letting him use you to his will only to set Daryl free from the cage they had him locked in. And sure, if that wasn't traumatic enough, this morning you discovered you were pregnant. With Negan's kid.

You were scared, hurt, resentful, but most of all in shock. The overwhelming emotions contained you thoroughly inside your house, and you had not been seen by anyone all day. When a knock arose at your bedroom door, you sprang to your feet and swiftly wiped away the tears that painted your face an unforgiving shade of pink.

"Who is it?" you sobbed, trying to hide your quavering, pitiful tone beneath the question.

"'S jus' me," It was Daryl. You could tell from the husky, gravelly voice behind the door. He sounded concerned. Composing yourself, you took one last look around the messy room before slowly clutching the cold doorknob and twisting it open. His figure towered over you, not threatening - the kind you had been used to - but barricading you from any dangers that stood between him and the rest of the world.

Daryl stood before you, not knowing what to say or do, searching for some trace of an answer in the absent, glassy expanse of your eyes. Absent, there were indeed, for each moment your body stood inside the walls of Alexandria, your mind was back there, in that 'Sanctuary'.

Another wave of tears came down your face before your clouded mind could form a coherent expression.

"Hey, hey, I got ya'," he soothed, drawing your frame into a tight hug, sheltered from anyone's presence, even in your own mind Negan's shadow seemed to dissipate into the encompassing swell of his chest. At least Daryl's stature provided you some respite; it was healing, momentarily. That was until he pulled way, wishing to understand, perhaps, why you were so upset. "Come on, let's siddown'-"

"I'm pregnant, Daryl, I don't know- I don't know what to.." you sobbed, returning to the embrace in an attempt to suppress the rhythmic pound that lay waste to your mind. Daryl, in his own state of shock, could do nothing but hold you. In truth, you did not wish for him to do anything else. Slowly, he walked you to your bedside, his touch not once faltering. With strong arms now safely caging you into his figure, you lay your head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Daryl..." you sighed, closing your eyes in search for some calm.

"Hey, no. You don't ever gotta say sorry, not to me," he gravelled, in that sweet, low voice of his. As he spoke into the crown of your head, you felt his words reverberate somewhere deep inside, moreso than you heard them. He was so tender with you.

"I'm scared," you began. You were embarassed to appear in this manner in front of Daryl. You didn't want to speak. Though you thought you owed him some expression of how you were feeling. "I hate him so much, y'know. I know you know. I hate him, for what he did to you. And me. I just thought," you weeped uncontrollably into Daryl's shoulder, at the notion that Negan - that evil man - would never escape your world. Daryl tried to console you, lifting your head up inches away from his own, though, he too, was flooded with memories and resentment indistinguishable from your own.

"What if my baby turns out like him?" you asked, in rhetoric. Lord knows, what kind of answer you expected.

"Shh.. Dun' think like that," he drawled, laying a gentle kiss on your forehead. The two of you had never been this close before.

"Yer' kid is gonna be strong, and kind, and beautiful.." he trailed off, cursing him damn mouth for running away from his brain. "Just like their momma."

"Daryl?" you spoke, softly, painting a number of maternal images at the forefront of his mind.

"Yeah?" he replied. Not once did he avert his gaze from your tear-stricken face.

"Will you stay.. with me? I'm scared... I don't wanna do this alone,"

"Of course, darlin'." From that moment on, Daryl never left your side.

The warm Virginian sun dipped below the walls of your home in the distance, evening winds stirred, gently, hardly noticeable. You cradled your beautiful baby girl in your arms, your mind empty of all negative thoughts. Just for a little while, everything was perfect. It seemed almost strange, that you were now happier than ever in this post-apocalyptic world.

Daryl strolled up to the gazebo where you perched with your daughter. The setting sun lit up your face like you were the centre of the universe. The centre of his universe, perhaps. It was hypnotic, seeing you in this way, so loving and maternal, more beautiful than ever.

"Hey," you smiled, watching the archer approach cautiously. He was always like this - acting as though his mere presence was a disturbance. You thought quite the opposite. "You can sit down Daryl, you won't wake her," you said sweetly. He simply stood there, an arm leaning on the gazebo fence, smiling down at you. So you stared right back up at him, wondering if he would take you up on your offer.

"I love ya', Y/N,"

"I know. C'mere,"

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naughtyneganjdm · 18 days

Text

Good Luck Charm - Chapter 29

Summary: Negan deals with the overwhelming emotional effects of what happened to Y/N altering his life and he's not handling it well.

Characters: Negan, Y/N/reader (OC), Evie, Nathan, Simon, etc.

Warnings: Swearing, Severe Angst, etc.

AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/39423063/chapters/139486027

Notes: I know I said that I would put up the priest Negan fic next, but this one has been done and edited for a while. I just forgot about it. But I promise that one is next. Thanks to anyone that still reads this story!

“You’re being lazy,” Negan felt the warmth of an arm wrapping around his waist from behind, holding him close. It made a smile tug at Negan’s lips when he cuddled his head in closer to the pillow that he was laying on. A faint kiss was pressed over the back of his neck and it had his lips parting. “You need to wake up. It’s a busy day.”

“Every day is a busy day,” Negan frowned, turning in the bed with his tired eyes fluttering to an open. “You know that Y/N.”

Seeing her smile made his heart skip a beat. Maybe he got used to seeing her sad for so long that whenever she smiled it honestly took his breath away. Hooking his fingers with hers, Negan brought her hand to him to place a kiss over the back of it.

“There is nowhere I’d rather be than in bed with you,” Negan informed her with a hesitant smile, leaning in to nuzzle his nose against hers. There was no better feeling in the world than waking up knowing that you weren’t alone. That there was someone with you to share your life with. “I’d rather take the day just to be with you.”

“Why are you still here Negan?” Y/N whispered causing his breath to get caught in his throat. Tipping his head back, he felt his body tensing up and he didn’t know what she meant. That wasn’t exactly the response that he was looking for.

“In bed? Because I’m comfortable with you,” Negan responded with a frown. The warmth he felt waking up was suddenly cold and uneasy. She looked unhappy with him and he didn’t know what to say. “I don’t care about the rest of the world right now. The children are sleeping. We’re together. That’s all that matters.”

“I mean at The Sanctuary,” she countered causing his lips to part. Trying to lean forward to kiss her, Negan felt her fingers pressing in over his lips to keep him from doing so. “I asked you to take the children to the farm and you’re still living here Negan.”

“What do you…?” Negan began with a faint whisper, stopping when he realized where this conversation was headed.

“I asked you and you promised me. You swore you were going to take the children to the farm Negan. Let them live a normal life. You swore,” her voice got angrier as she sat up in the bed. The tension in her body only further proved that. It made Negan’s heart begin to race and he felt like he was starting to panic. Pressing up onto his palms, Negan braced his body weight on them as he stared out at her on the bed. “It was my dying wish Negan. You promised me and you still haven’t done it. Why haven’t you kept your promise?”

With a gasp, Negan’s eyes snapped open with his heart hammering inside of his chest. Lifting his head, Negan saw that it was still nighttime with the small amount of light from the moon filtering into his room at The Sanctuary. Gazing to the bed beside him, Negan made sure that Nathan and Evie were still there. When he knew that they were safe, he was able to calm down somewhat before attempting to gather himself.

Lowering his head into his palms, Negan groaned out and couldn’t shake the feeling that he was experiencing. The nightmares returned. They were gone for a short while, but now every time he closed his eyes he had some kind of bad dream that revolved around Y/N. Either that moment on the hill repeated in his dreams or she was in them angry. He had a few dreams that included Lucille as well. She was angry with him too in them for what went down. There was no escaping the way he was feeling. Not awake. Not sleeping.

Sliding in closer to his children, Negan pulled both Nathan and Evie in closer to his body. It had been weeks since the day Negan had left Y/N in that small town. For the first two weeks Negan went out every day searching for her body. He had most of The Saviors searching for her too. They all knew what she looked like and what she was wearing. It had almost been a month with no prevail. But he kept looking. He wasn’t ready to give up.

What Y/N had said to him in his dreams echoed throughout his mind. He did promise her that he would take the children to the farm, but his number one priority was finding her body. More than anything, he needed that closure. The children needed that closure. They needed to bury Y/N in order for them to have a grave to go to. That meant he had to stay at The Sanctuary and use all the resources he could in order to try to find her.

In his arms, Negan felt Evie cuddling in closer to him and it made his chest ache. Since they hadn’t found Y/N, Evie was convinced during the first few weeks that her mother was still alive, but the longer time passed the more it became obvious that Evie was coming to terms with the thought that her mother was really gone. Especially since Y/N would have made it back to them if she was alive. There was no way that she wouldn’t have made it back. Not with having Nathan and Evie with Negan.

It was hard for both him and Evie. Negan was suffering greatly from depression. He was doing his best to hold it together but losing Y/N had hit him hard. Nathan really didn’t understand it, he was too young. He would ask for her, but he didn’t understand that she was gone. Negan wished it wasn’t like this, but there was nothing he could do to change it.

Because Negan was having a hard time he picked up on the fact that Evie was doing her best not to have meltdowns, but some days she was like him and she would break down. But most of the time it felt like she was taking care of him. Evie knew that he was broken especially after finding him that day having a meltdown at the farm. It was a job that she shouldn’t have had to carry the weight of, but she was doing her best for the both of them. It should have been the opposite, but no matter what Negan did he couldn’t pull himself out of the darkness that he was feeling.

Pressing a kiss over the top of Evie’s head, Negan cuddled his chin in closer to her to hold her close. Nathan was lying beside Evie on the other end and Negan made sure he was close too before trying to get comfortable. Sleeping became hard for Negan again. He had a hard time staying asleep. Exhaustion would often catch up to him and he would pass out, but it never lasted long.

Another thing Negan knew is that he wasn’t taking care of himself physically either. Before all of this happened, he would always keep himself looking super clean and pristine. Now he was letting his hair grow out and it was often messy. It had been a long time since he had shaved. And he wasn’t showering like he could have been. Right now those things just didn’t matter to him.

He was making sure that the children were fed and taken care of, but all he cared about was finding Y/N. It didn’t make sense to him that she was completely missing. Then again, there was a thought that entered his mind. If Y/N did turn, they were right by the water. He didn’t want to think it, but there was that chance that she ended up in the water and that’s why they were never finding her. Maybe her corpse was beneath the water and they would never find her.

That thought was horrifying to him and it was one that he was going to have to live with for a long time. He hoped that he was wrong and there was something that him and his Saviors were missing. It didn’t make sense that they weren’t finding her body. Negan personally went through the entire town that they were in when he left her. Multiple times. He searched for some kind of sign as to where she went and he found nothing. There was nothing there. It was like she just completely vanished.

Clearing his throat, Negan thought about how Y/N asked Negan to give Evie her wedding band that Negan gave her. That was something he didn’t follow through with either. Instead it was still on the necklace that he wore. In his mind, she was his wife so he was never going to take it off. It kept a piece of her with him always.

Right now, he still saw her in his sleep every night. It was often a nightmare, but at least he still saw Y/N. He was worried about how long it might be before he stopped dreaming of her. Until he stopped remembering what her voice sounded like. They got so far only for their dreams to be ripped out from beneath them. It wasn’t fair. That’s how he still viewed this whole situation. It was wrong on so many levels and it wasn’t fair.

Trying to force his eyes closed, Negan knew that he wasn’t likely going to fall asleep. And if he did? It would take hours. So he just cherished the warmth of his children near him. Glad that they were at least sleeping.

Unfortunately he was right. Negan was awake long enough for the sun to start to rise and by the time he finally did fall asleep, he didn’t stay asleep for long before one of his people at The Sanctuary brought in breakfast for them. Lifting his head, Negan groaned out when he saw that Evie and Nathan were already up sitting at the table. Clutching tightly to the pillow that was in his arms, Negan grumbled and lowered his head back down.

“Breakfast daddy,” Evie called out to Negan who rolled onto his stomach before pulling the pillow in over his head. With a sigh, Evie got up from the bed and reached for Negan’s white t-shirt to tug at it. “You have to eat. You didn’t eat lunch or dinner yesterday.”

“I’m not hungry,” Negan grumbled with his voice being muffled against the bedsheets. Another firm tug was felt at his shirt when Evie managed to get him up and seated on the edge of the bed. There were dark circles under Negan’s eyes and his hair was a mess. Frowning, Evie stepped forward to brush her fingers through her father’s messy hair. “You don’t have to take care of me Evie.”

“I do,” she insisted reaching for Negan’s hands to squeeze tightly at them. Getting Negan finally to his feet, she led him over toward the chair that he would often sit at and got him to lower down. Sliding his plate of breakfast before him, she handed him over the silverware before taking her seat. Nathan was already at his chair, kicking his feet while he picked at his breakfast. Evie was doing her best to eat too, but Negan hated this part of things. They still had the fourth chair there. Having it empty felt wrong, but taking it away felt worse. So his meals would often lead to him having a breakdown that led him to tears thinking about Y/N. “Daddy?”

“Yeah baby?” Negan’s tired expression met Evie’s when she pointed down to the plate. “I’m trying honey. I’m sorry.”

“Hi daddy,” Nathan smiled brightly when Negan looked him over. It drew attention to his dimples and Negan feigned a smile. God, this was so fucking hard and he knew that he had to start stepping it up. He was the only parent these two had left and he felt like he was failing them. He felt like he was failing Y/N.

“Good morning handsome,” Negan got up from his chair enough to press a kiss over Nathan’s forehead. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan carefully lowered back down into his seat and sighed loudly. Watching Nathan pick at his food, Negan slid his chair in closer and reached for the silverware. Cutting up his food, Negan lifted it up on a spoon making Nathan’s smile expand. With a hum Nathan swallowed down on the food and bobbed his head about like nothing was wrong. “Does that taste good buddy?”

“Yeah,” Nathan responded eager for another bite when Negan brought up a spoonful again. Evie’s eyes were locked on them together while Negan attempted to make silly faces to get Nathan to giggle. What she also noticed was that Negan never took a bite of his food. “Yum.”

“Yum is right. You’re gonna grow up and be a strong little boy, aren’t you?” Negan heard the sound of a chair moving, but he kept his attention on Nathan. Suddenly the sound of Evie making train sounds were heard and a spoon was placed in front of his mouth. Arching his eyebrow, Negan’s head slowly turned and Evie nodded toward the spoon.

“Eat,” she demanded of Negan who let out a long exhale. “Do I have to make silly faces too?”

Replicating almost the same faces as Negan was doing previously with Nathan had Nathan in a round of giggles before Negan opened his mouth to accept the bite, “Now if you want to feed Nathan, I’ll feed you. Swallow it down.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan swallowed down hard knowing that she was just doing her best to get him to eat. Evie kept up with what she was doing until Nathan was done with his breakfast. Raising his hand up, Negan nodded his head about and sighed. “I can feed myself the rest of the time.”

“Okay,” she lowered the silverware and gave him a stern expression. Usually Evie took on a majority of his genes, but that look right there. That look was something he had seen from Y/N so many times in the past. “You better.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan smirked, whistling when Evie went to walk away. Wiggling his fingers, Negan motioned her to him again. Curling his arm around her waist, he hugged her close to him. He knew that he wasn’t being the best father he could be right now, but the depression was hitting him hard. Having Evie here with him definitely made things better, but he knew he should have been the one taking care of her. Not the other way around. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, burying her head against the side of his neck to squeeze harder at him for the hug.

A knock was heard making them both look back to see that the door was slowly pushing open. Once Simon was revealed to be behind it, Negan cleared his throat and felt a sense of discomfort, “Hey boss man. Can we talk?”

“Not until he’s done with his breakfast,” Evie answered for Negan and it made Negan’s thick eyebrows bounce up in amusement. Simon’s head tipped to the side with him looking to Negan for a response.

“You heard the little lady, she’s in charge,” Negan pointed to Evie who gave a faint smile when her father listened to her instead of going straight to work like he normally would. “She’s the boss. So let me finish this and I will be right out.”

“It’s kind of important,” Simon stressed to Negan, his hands resting at his hips when Evie reached out to place her hand in over her father’s shoulder almost to stress dominance in this moment.

“And so is him eating. He doesn’t have much left, he hasn’t eaten much in days so please let him eat. You can wait outside,” Evie waved her hand about in the air before returning to her seat. A snort fell from Negan’s lips at her response. Shrugging his shoulders, Negan nodded in the direction of Evie showing Simon that he was going to be listening to his daughter. “He’ll be out when he’s done. You can wait outside.”

With a grunt, Simon gave Negan a glare before leaving the room and closing the door behind him. Faintly clapping his hands together, Negan knew that Evie was proud of herself, “Good job baby girl. I can’t even get him to listen to me.”

“It’s time someone did,” she finished with her breakfast while he did the same. After he finished, he got up from his seat and got the dishes together. Then he gave both Nathan and Evie a kiss on the head before starting to go for the door. “Are you going to be gone today?”

“No honey, I’m just gonna go speak to Simon and then I will be right back,” Negan assured her with a firm nod of his head. Giving her a wink, he headed out of the room and saw that Simon was resting against the wall with anger flooding his features. “What is it?”

Once the door was shut behind Negan, Simon stepped forward and threw his hands up in the air, “When are we going to stop this Negan? It’s been weeks and you still have The Saviors out looking for Y/N. I think we both know we’re not going to find anything.”

“We stop when we find her,” Negan responded with a shake of his head. This was something Simon kept bringing up and by this point it was starting to really infuriate Negan. There was a flood of rage rushing through his veins and Negan knew he had to try to keep a level head about this. “I’m not going to give up until we find her.”

“Then you’re never going to be safe Negan,” Simon retorted with an angered breath. “Rick’s crew is likely planning their attack on the fucking place while you’re wasting all of our resources and our men on some bitch that is likely dead at the bottom of the water.”

“Watch your fucking mouth,” Negan roared, stepping forward to firmly shove his hands into the center of Simon’s chest. The swiftness of it had Simon stumbling backwards, a grunt falling from his throat. “Don’t you fucking dare call my wife a bitch. I will fucking destroy you.”

“Like you’re destroying The Saviors and The Sanctuary?” Simon snarled hearing Negan’s breathing growing louder, his hazel eyes narrowing in frustration. “Ever since Y/N and those kids showed up, you’ve been letting this place nosedive into the ground. You are meant to be the leader. We are in the middle of a war with Rick and his people. What are you doing though? You’re in your bedroom every day sobbing into your pillows. And if you’re not doing that you are out all day long looking for a woman that you know is dead. We both know you’re never going to find her Negan.”

“I don’t give a shit what you think Simon. I’m going to keep looking for her because I love her and…” Negan paused when the sound of Simon laughing interrupted him. Biting at his bottom lip, Negan felt his rage increasing with Simon rolling his eyes.

“You loved her?” Simon mocked Negan, emphasizing his words in an antagonizing way. Simon’s jaw was clenching and he made it clear he was furious with the way Negan was acting. “She was one of your wives Negan. Not the only one. Just one of them.”

“Watch where you are headed with this,” Negan warned his number two, his fingers curling into a tighter fist at his side.

“You know, I never really agreed with your actions here, but I went along with it because for the most part, it got things done,” Simon began, his eyes locking with Negan’s trying to express some sense of power over Negan in this moment. “Then Rick shows up and proves to you that your way of doing things isn’t going to work. But you keep toying with the guy and you are letting them build up an offense against us. Then your family shows up and suddenly you don’t care anymore. All you care about is your family and a woman that you didn’t even care for when the world was normal Negan. Why the hell is she so important now? Because she certainly wasn’t when you were married to Lucille.”

Closing his eyes, Negan tried to count to himself knowing that he was fully prepared to attack Simon at this moment, “Now you’re letting a ten-year-old control your life and it’s fucking pathetic.”

Grunting out, Simon stumbled back after the force of Negan punching him collided with the side of his face. It had Simon grabbing the railing, his fingers curling tightly around the metal when his other hand reached up to caress where Negan had hit him. Lifting his head, Simon noticed the way that Negan’s eyes were locked on him, with Negan’s chest heaving.

Standing up straight, Simon’s blood was rushing through his veins when he stepped before Negan fully prepared to fight him back when Negan shoved into him again, “What are you gonna do Simon? Huh? You wanna fight? I fucking dare you. I will destroy you.”

“Daddy?” Evie’s voice was heard in a faint whisper. Both men gazed over at her with Simon backing down when he saw Negan’s younger daughter staring out at them with big eyes. Worry filled her young features and Simon scoffed, before rubbing at his face again. “Is everything okay?”

“Everything is fine baby,” Negan’s posture changed completely when he spotted Evie, lowering down on his knees to reach out to cup her face in his rough hands. “You go back in there and watch your brother for me. Daddy just needs to talk to Simon, okay?”

By her expression, Negan could tell that Evie wasn’t comfortable with leaving him, but she was going to listen to him just because he asked her to. Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, Negan slowly stood and waited for the door to be closed before turning on his heel, “You ever say something negative about my wife or my daughter again and I will fucking kill you. You understand me?”

“Crystal clear,” Simon’s shoulders slouched, his breathing loud enough for Negan to hear. In a sense, Simon was lucky because Negan wasn’t sure what he was capable of if Evie hadn’t come out. “At least I know when this place falls, it wasn’t my fault. It was yours.”

“Fuck you,” Negan snarled under his breath, standing his ground before Simon. With a roll of his eyes, Simon shook his head before giving Negan a final glare. Instead of saying anything more, Simon walked off leaving Negan to himself. Negan let out a tense sound, his heart hammering in his chest with a fire burning in his fist from where he had punched Simon. He was furious with the way that Simon responded to him searching for Y/N. If it came between dealing with Rick and finding Y/N, he wanted to find Y/N. That would be his choice every time. Shaking his head, Negan stepped back toward the door to his bedroom and stopped when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eyes. Immediately, his stomach sank, his heart hammering in his chest when he saw Y/N standing at the end of the hallway. “Y/N?”

Calling out, Negan started to move away from the door of the bedroom that his children was in. Once he seemed to notice her there, she took off in the other direction and he quickened his movements. It seemed like she was pushing through the group of people that were on the second level to get away from Negan when he called out to her again. She got a head start down the stairs and he took off after her.

“Stop! What are you doing?” Negan called out and it drew her to look back over her shoulder at Negan when she got to the bottom of the stairs. When their eyes connected, Negan could feel a chill run down his spine. “Wait.”

His pleas were heard on deaf ears as she continued to run away from him and he felt a rush of panic flooding his veins. Trying his best to keep up with her, Negan cussed out to himself when he reached the bottom of the stairs and didn’t see her. Looking both ways, he noticed that an exit door was closing and he quickly headed that way.

Once he reached the outside, he came to a stumbling stop to look around. He could barely breathe when he took a look around in hopes of finding her. Everything was weighing heavy on him, but mostly confusion. How’d she get back here and why was she running away? And how was she alive?

Finally, his eyes locked onto Y/N when he saw that she was standing by the gate where they had all of the walkers attached to it to keep people from trying to enter The Sanctuary.

“Y/N!” Negan called out her name once more, fear overtaking him when he saw her getting close to the fence. With him approaching, it had the growling sounds from the walkers growling and they seemed to get more animated with him there. Coming to a stop drew her eyes away for a minute to gaze over at him and Negan threw his hands up in the air. His pulse was pounding inside of his head, his breathing uneven when he approached her. “Y/N? What are you doing? How’d you get here? You’re alive.”

Smirking, she gave Negan a weird expression before going back to observing the walker. When she leaned a little too close in for his comfort, he threw his hand up to stop her, “Hey! Be careful. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Calm down,” she breathed out with a wrinkle of her nose. She seemed to be taking in the features of the walker that was before her. Without any fear, she stepped closer to it and it had Negan stepping forward. “It’s not like I’m going to get bit or anything. Well…again.”

“That’s not funny,” Negan grunted under his breath drawing Y/N to smile, tipping her head from side to side. Reaching out she poked at the abdomen of the walker before her and Negan didn’t know how to react to the way she was acting. “I don’t understand what’s going on right now. You’ve been gone for weeks. You make it back to The Sanctuary, you’re perfectly okay and the first thing you decide to do is run away from me so you can get close and personal with the walkers?”

Again, she didn’t respond to him as she poked at a different spot on the walker which made the growling sounds grow louder, “Hey! I’m talking to you. After everything that happened the last time I saw you, this is what you decide to do? Not go to your children? And you’re making jokes about being bitten?”

“You’re being too sensitive,” she stammered, finally giving her full attention to Negan resting her hands on her hips. “Maybe I’m just taking more after you. Making light of a dark situation. You’re the one with the dark humor here. Take the stick out of your ass Negan.”

“I…what?” Negan responded in disbelief when she snickered to herself and started walking the length of the fence again. “Y/N? What are you doing?”

Brushing his fingers through his messy hair, Negan’s body was trembling and more than anything he wanted to wrap his arms around her to hug her, but she was acting so strange. Clearing his throat, a warmth flooded his face when he threw his hand up in the air.

“I imagine you’re really mad at me right now for leaving,” Negan suggested finally getting her attention when she looked back over her shoulder at him. “I heard that gun go off. I was certain that you killed yourself and I made a promise to you. I left and if I would have ever known that you were alive I promise I would have never left you. I told you that the mark on your arm didn’t exactly look like a bite.”

It seemed like she was thinking things over before turning on her heel to approach him, still saying nothing.

“You have no idea the hell that I’ve been through since that day. I thought you were dead. Evie thought you were dead,” Negan informed her with a broken sound, his hand hovering in over his chest and shaking when she let out a long exhale. “We need to take you to her. Come with me.”

Extending his hand out, Negan expected her to take it, but instead she just looked down at his hand and frowned, “Please.”

“Boss?” a voice surprised Negan causing him to jump. Looking back over his shoulder, he noticed that Laura was approaching him and all the color was drained from her face. The expression over her features almost made him uncomfortable the closer she got to him. “Who are you talking to?”

“What do you mean who am I talking to?” Negan was disgusted with Laura even asking him that question. Pointing toward Y/N had her eyebrows bouncing up. Laura looked in the direction he pointed before looking back to Negan again. “I think it’s kind of fucking obvious who I’m talking to.”

“You’re talking to…” Laura looked to the gate of walkers and cleared her throat uneasily. “The walkers?”

“What the fuck are you…” Negan let out an uneasy breath when a smirk tugged at Y/N’s features. If anything Laura looked concerned for Negan right now. Gazing between Y/N and Laura, Negan felt a chill running down his spine when he let out a hesitant sound. “This isn’t funny. She’s literally right here.”

“Who is?” Laura took a moment to ask after she looked around the area surrounding them. There was genuine concern in her eyes with Negan letting out an uncomfortable laugh.

“I don’t know what this is,” Negan announced nervously gazing between both women. Waving his hand about in Y/N’s direction had Laura’s lips parting and it looked like she wanted to say something but didn’t. “She’s right here. I don’t know if the two of you are doing this to get one over on me for letting this happen, but…”

“Negan,” Laura held her hand up in the air trying to get Negan to focus. Stepping forward, she grabbed a hold of Negan’s shoulders and he felt tense with her holding onto him like this. “Who am I supposed to be seeing right now?”

“Y/N. She’s right there and she’s…” Negan answered her, his voice breaking when Laura slowly released him. There was worry in her eyes with Laura looking Negan over. “I saw her in the hallways walking and then…how do you not see her she’s standing right there? This isn’t a funny joke.”

“Negan, no one is joking. I see no one. All I see is you talking to the air. It’s just you and the walkers,” Laura explained to Negan with a shake of her head. Reaching out, she curled her fingers around Negan’s wrist and nodded her head toward The Sanctuary. “Maybe I should get you to the doctor. What do you think?”

“I’m not crazy,” Negan suggested with a hesitant laugh looking down to Laura’s fingers curled around his wrist.

“Okay, you’re not crazy,” Laura held her hands up when Negan yanked his wrist from her. “You’re probably just tired. You’ve been out constantly looking for Y/N. Maybe you’re just exhausted and not getting enough sleep. How about I walk back with you to your room?”

“Fucking hell,” Negan lowered his head, pinching at the bridge of his nose. Cussing under his breath, Negan tried to gather himself. Looking again, he saw that Y/N was still standing there and she waved. “I have to be dreaming again.”

“Negan, you’re right here. You’re not sleeping,” Laura insisted, squeezing at Negan’s arm to try to comfort him. Nothing was making sense right now. It felt like the world was spinning around him and like he could throw up. “Do I need to get the doctor here to help you?”

“No. No,” Negan shook his head over and over again starting to realize what was happening here. God, he was going fucking crazy and seeing things. It felt like he was on the verge of a panic attack with the way his chest was tightening. With everything that he had just said in front of Laura, he knew that she also was going to think he was insane. Standing up straight, he dragged his hand down over the side of his face and feigned a smile. “I was actually just joking with you. That’s what this was.”

“A joke?” she repeated and Negan eagerly nodded his head. An awkward expression filled her features when Laura looked over Negan. Laura thought he was crazy. Hell, he thought he was crazy too. “Are you sure? Do you need me to stay with you?”

“No, I just need some space,” Negan assured her with a shrug of his shoulders, shoving his hands into his pockets. Not fighting with him, Laura turned on her heel before Negan called out to her. “Laura? Could you please not tell anyone about this today?”

“Of course,” Laura muttered before heading back toward what she was doing near The Sanctuary. Hopefully she would keep her word or else it would get back to Simon and somehow he would convince everyone that he was not mentally fit to be the leader. Which meant he would lose the help that he needed to actually find Y/N.

“Do you think I look like this one right now?” Y/N’s voice spoke up and it made every muscle in Negan’s body clench. Turning to face her again, Negan could see that she was observing one of the walkers that was on the fence more thoroughly. “I figure after all the rot and body decay, this has to be what I look like right now, right?”

“Stop,” Negan demanded when she chomped her teeth together almost mimicking the walker that was before her.

“Do you think I’ve killed someone? All that blood and rot coming out of my mouth,” Y/N pointed out toward the mouth of the walker again and Negan felt his heart racing inside of his chest. A muscle in his jaw flexed with his stare becoming more serious. “Aw. Negan. Loosen up. It’s not like I’m dead or anything.”

“You’re not really here,” Negan whispered to himself, turning on his heel as he headed back toward The Sanctuary. An overwhelming sense of guilt and agony filled him again almost like the first time he lost her. More than anything he was trying to keep it together when he headed back so people didn’t see him losing it again.

“Hey. Why are you running off?” Y/N’s voice beckoned him from behind. A long, overwhelmed sound escaped his lips. When he reached for the door, he stopped when he felt her fingers wrapping around his wrist to stop him. It felt so real and a tremoring breath fell from him. “You’re leaving me again?”

Swallowing down, Negan tried to avoid looking at Y/N as he walked back into The Sanctuary. The sound of her footsteps following him were heard again, but he tried to block it out, “Typical Negan. When things get hard he runs. Abandons me. Like he always did. Just like you did that night. Leaving me in that small town all alone.”

“Shut up!” Negan finally erupted, turning on his heel and it had everyone in the hallway jumping. Everyone looked around trying to figure out who he was talking to, but they just likely assumed that they were making too much noise so they all went silent. A smirk tugged at Y/N’s features when he swiftly started making it back up the stairs. When he almost reached the bedroom, he came to a stop when he noticed Y/N was still following him. Making sure he was alone, Negan surveyed the hallway before turning to look at her. “I need whatever this is to stop. I’m about to go be with our children and I can’t be having a mental break in front of them. Please. Leave me alone.”

“So now you want to get rid of me?” she was offended when Negan reached for the door again and pushed into it. An annoyed breath fell from Negan’s throat when she pushed through with him. Sitting at the center of the bed was Evie and Nathan staring up at him with big eyes. Closing the door, Negan stood before his children and felt like his entire body was on fire.

“I need to take a shower,” Negan announced, his voice raspier than normal. “Maybe after we do that, the three of us can go for a walk around outside before I go out looking again tonight.”

“That’d be nice,” Evie nodded her head, but she seemed worried with the way that Negan looked. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Negan assured her, looking back toward the door to see that Y/N was leaning back against it. Heading for the bathroom, Negan stopped and swallowed down loudly. Everything felt so surreal right now. Negan didn’t know if he hadn’t had enough sleep or if something weird was actually going on. He really felt like he was having a mental breakdown. Especially since he could see Y/N standing there like she was perfectly okay, yet no one else could. “Evie? Do you see your mother?”

“What do you mean?” Evie replied back, unsure how to answer. Holding his finger up toward the door, Negan noticed that he was shaking an incredibly large amount when Y/N looked over toward their children that were sitting down on the bed together. Evie gazed over at the area that Negan was pointing at and worry began to flood her young features, “Are you asking me if I see her there? I don’t see anything daddy.”

“I meant,” Negan whimpered, licking his lips when he shakily lowered his hand. He didn’t even know why he asked her that. He knew that Y/N wasn’t really there. That was when his eyes started burning over. He broke. He finally broke. Something was seriously wrong with him because he was seeing someone that wasn’t there. “I meant in your sleep.”

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes,” Evie didn’t know how to answer when she reached for a toy that Nathan was outstretching his hand out to grab. Helping him, she played with Nathan in attempts to keep him calm. “Daddy, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Negan lied reaching up to wipe at his face when he started crying. At this point, he couldn’t hold back on his emotions. They were just coming whether he wanted them to or not. Taking in a deep breath, he pointed toward the bathroom again and nodded. “I’m going to shower.”

Making a quick escape, Negan stumbled into the bathroom and kicked out of his boots. Heading for the shower, he turned the water on and dropped his head forward. Counting to himself, he tried to get himself to calm down when he started crying again. Stealing another look back, Negan could see that Y/N was still there and she was in the bathroom with him. It felt like the air was being stolen from his lungs and the room was spinning.

“You can’t just block me out Negan,” she declared drawing him to lower down onto the ground. Pulling himself into the shower, he remained fully clothed when he started breaking down again. The water was freezing and it hurt like hell with it pouring down in over his flesh, but he was punishing himself. Rocking back and forth, Negan covered his head when he heard her sigh. “Negan?”

Covering his ears, Negan slammed his eyes shut in hopes that he would be able to pull himself from this because this was only hurting him more. God knows how long he was in there before he felt hands pressing in over his shoulders. Lifting his head up, he saw that Evie was knelt down in front of him. When she felt how cold he was, she scrambled for the shower to turn it off.

“What are you doing?” Negan questioned watching Evie scramble to grab a towel to wrap it around him. “Evie?”

“I heard you crying,” Evie informed him with worry in her eyes. Trying to tug on his hands, she was eager to get him out of the shower, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy, I need you to get up. You’re freezing. You need to change and…”

Even though he knew he was doing everything wrong, Negan was locked inside himself. Everything hurt and he felt like he was dying. Reality was really starting to sink in for him and he hated everything right now. He was broken and it was a broken that you couldn’t fix.

“Daddy please,” Evie begged, struggling to get Negan up, but he wouldn’t budge. “Daddy get up.”

With a final unsuccessful tug, Evie fell back onto her bottom and let out a defeated sound. Tears swelled up in her eyes seeing her father having a complete and total breakdown in front of her, “You’re not the only one that lost her!”

A whimper fell from Negan’s throat when she threw her hands up in the air, Evie’s cries filling the bathroom when she stared out at him with pain in her eyes, “We lost mom. And if you keep up with the way you are acting we are going to lose you too. You’re not the only one that lost her dad. You only just got her back. She was with us the whole time. And she was a good mom. So please. Please. You have to stop.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan’s voice was broken when he shakily got up to his knees and threw his hands up in the air. There was an ache that would likely never go away. He was heartbroken and he didn’t know how to stop it. “I’m so sorry. I just…I don’t know what to do. I hurt. It hurts so much and…”

Dropping his head down, Negan’s hands braced on the ground when his sobs started to fill the air again. Getting up, Evie slid forward to wrap her arms around Negan while he cried. Shakily, he lifted his arms to wrap her up in a hug. Hell, he couldn’t explain to her what was going on right now, but he knew he needed to start faking it for the children. She was right. He was all they had and he had to figure things out. If not for himself, he needed to do it for them.

----

It had been another rough few weeks. Anyone who saw Negan likely knew that he was a fucking disaster right now. It was rare that he made a public appearance in The Sanctuary lately. Instead he had other people running things for him. He was unkept. Still broken and depressed. His hair was messy and longer than normal. His beard was longer and he just wore whatever the hell was comfortable. Every day he still went out searching for Y/N, but he found nothing. By this point he had pretty much given up completely. There was no sense in searching for someone who was so obviously gone. And someday soon he knew that he was going to have to stop it all together.

One of the only positives was that when he was here, he was spending all of his time with Evie and Nathan. He imagined that was something that Y/N would have liked about this. Then again, she probably wouldn’t have liked it all that much since he promised her that he would be going to the farm with the children and he hadn’t done that yet.

Lifting his eyes from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan, Negan could see that Evie was still working on whatever it was that she had been for a while now. Since Evie found Negan in the shower like she had, things had been awkward between them. Negan knew that she saw the broken pieces of him. It made things uncomfortable. Truthfully? They were both so fucked up over losing Y/N. They were both broken and there was no fixing it. The only thing that could fix it was Y/N and they were both coming to terms with the fact that she was never coming back. Well, in the physical sense for Negan at least.

He kept it to himself, but Negan was still seeing Y/N. Daily. Thankfully, right now she was nowhere to be found and that made him happy. Every time she showed up, he had a meltdown and he knew it. It was something he couldn’t explain to Evie, so he likely came off snappy whenever she’d ask him about it. Negan felt like a freak and there was nothing he could do to change that. If this was the normal world, he could get help, but the world wasn’t what it used to be. He couldn’t get help. If he went to the doctor here, it was just a doctor. Not a psychiatrist. And if he did ask for help, somehow it would get out to Simon or someone else that didn’t have faith in him and he would lose everything. He couldn’t lose everything right now. Not when he still needed the resources.

“Do you know what this is?” Negan pointed toward the image in the book that he was reading to Nathan. Every day he was trying to help Nathan become more comfortable with talking and learning things. He knew that Y/N insisted that he was smart, but he didn’t want people to think that there was something wrong with Nathan, so he was working with him.

“A dog,” Nathan was excited to answer, lifting his head up to get praise from Negan who nodded slowly. “A brown one.”

“Yes it is,” Negan watched Nathan flipping the next page while he stroked his fingers through Nathan’s hair. Nathan was cuddled up beside him while they worked together. It was something Negan honestly tried to do every day. He had someone working with both Nathan and Evie, but he was putting a lot of work into helping Nathan. “And what about this?”

“A bed!” Nathan’s voice was high pitched, but it made Negan happy that he started to get Nathan talking more.

“What about the color?” Negan tapped on the page and it was one where Nathan had to think about things. “You got this.”

“Red?” Nathan’s eyebrows furrowed, his facial expression showing that he was unsure. Nodding slowly had Nathan giggling when he looked to the book again.

“Good boy,” Negan praised Nathan on getting something right again. The sound of Evie moving her chair caught their attention when they finished with the book, but Negan was still eager to get Nathan talking again. Setting the book aside, Negan tapped at Nathan’s nose and it had Nathan rocking back with laughter. “What’s this?”

“My nose daddy,” Nathan pushed Negan’s hand aside with a big belly giggle when Negan started tickling at Nathan’s stomach. The uncontrollable laughter fell from Nathan’s throat with the way that Negan was playing with him and it had Negan smiling. Probably for the first time in a long time. “Stop!”

“No, I don’t think I will,” Negan lowered down to pepper kisses against Nathan’s face. It had happy sounds filling the air which lightened the mood of everything. It made Negan happy in some way that Nathan was too young to understand that Y/N was gone. Between Negan and Evie there was so much sadness, but with Nathan there was still a sense of purity and innocence. He was happy still and Negan needed that right now. Finally stopping, Negan saw the happy tears at the corner of Nathan’s eyes when Negan rest back on his elbow. “Okay, what about your name?”

“Hey daddy,” Evie called out with an excited breath trying to get Negan’s attention, but he held his finger up motioning her to wait. Arching his eyebrow up, Negan was looking to Nathan expectantly while Nathan grabbed a hold of his toes. “Daddy?”

“Hold on Evie,” Negan requested, his attention locked on Nathan. When Nathan didn’t answer, Negan reached out to playfully stroke his fingers through his son’s hair to mess it. Having Negan ignoring her had the smile fading from her face while Negan played with Nathan. “I know you know this answer. Don’t try to fool your daddy.”

“It will just be a second,” Evie spoke up once more with uncertainty in her tone. Looking to what she had been working on, she pushed it out toward the center of the table in hopes that she could catch Negan’s attention. “Daddy?”

“Nathan,” Nathan finally answered, his pronunciation of the word a bit broken since it was still a little hard for him.

“And how old are you?” Negan pushed after clapping his hands together. The lines in his forehead grew with his dimples becoming more prominent while he watched his son closely. “How old?”

“I’m three!” Nathan responded and Negan inhaled deeply before shaking his head. “No?”

“Not yet. Almost though!” Negan reasoned with his son, grabbing a hold of Nathan’s hands to wiggle his arms. “You’re still two!”

“Oh!” Nathan’s mouth made a big circle shape and it had Negan snickering.

“What’s this?” Negan reached for Nathan’s toes, bringing Nathan’s foot up so he could blow raspberries at the bottom of his son’s foot. It had Nathan hollering out in laughter which had Negan laughing too.

“Mine,” Nathan pulled his foot back away from Negan making Negan feel some sense of joy with how enthusiastic Nathan was being. “Toes.”

“Good boy,” Negan cheered on his son before pointing toward his own chest. “Who am I?”

“My daddy,” Nathan almost squeaked out in enthusiasm reaching out to sink his fingers into Negan’s hair. Pulling Negan close, Nathan kissed at Negan’s cheek before Negan started to return the gesture. Peppering kisses over Nathan’s face, Negan tickled at his son’s abdomen while they laughed together.

“Daddy?” Evie called out again after allowing Negan some time with Nathan, but this time Negan didn’t even give her a response when he pointed at Nathan’s chest again.

“So how old are you again?” Negan wanted to get Nathan to say it right this time.

“Two,” Nathan had the right answer this time and Negan threw his hands up in the air to cheer on his son.

“That’s right!” Negan gave a proud nod and he was being dramatic with the way that he was saying things hoping to get Nathan excited to learn. Reaching for Nathan, Negan pulled him in close to give him a big hug, making silly noises when they played together.

“Hey daddy, can I just…” Evie began trying to get her father’s attention if only for a moment.

“Evie!” Negan snapped when he heard Evie calling out to him again, his eyebrows furrowed showing that he was angry with her trying to get his attention as he lifted his head up to stare out at her. “I asked you to give me a goddamn minute. Fuck! When I’m ready for you, I will let you know. You don’t have to keep saying my name. I heard you the first fucking time.”

After he said that, Negan immediately regretted it when he saw her face turn a light shade of red. The expression she gave showed that he hurt her feelings before she dropped her head down. Sitting up, Negan went to say something, but he didn’t know what to say with her face growing a deeper shade of red. Nathan crawled into Negan’s lap in attempts to continue to try to play with him. Clearing his throat, Negan looked to Nathan who was playing with Negan’s fingers and Negan could feel a lump growing in his throat with Evie’s reaction to him yelling at her.

Dropping her pencil, Evie pushed the paper that she was working on even further out away from her in an unhurried movement. By her expression, Negan could tell that she was doing everything she could to hold back on crying with her head lowered.

“What do you want, Evie?” Negan finally spoke, adjusting Nathan in his lap noticing the way that her fingers curled around the edge of the table. There was a single tear that slid down her face and it made Negan feel guilty. “Evie?”

“Never mind. It’s not important anyways. It doesn’t matter. I’m sorry,” she sniffled, pushing her chair further away from the table. Lifting her hand, she wiped at her face with the back of it and Negan knew he should have been saying something, but he didn’t. “Can I please go to the bathroom?”

“Evie,” Negan frowned lifting one of his hands to bury his head into his palm realizing that he just upset his daughter.

“Please,” she begged still keeping her head tipped away from him because she didn’t want him to see her upset.

“Of course honey, you don’t have to ask me that,” Negan tried speaking softly to her since he knew he fucked up with the way he yelled at her. Swiftly she stood up from the table and was quick to run into the bathroom. The sound of the fan turning on was heard and he knew that she did that to likely hide from him that she was crying from what he had done. With a frown, Negan curled his arm tightly around Nathan to pull him close. Standing up, Negan brought Nathan with him when he headed over toward the table to look at what Evie obviously had been calling him over for. Grabbing what he realized was a drawing, he pulled it up to see that it was him playing with Nathan on the bed that she had drew. “Fuck.”

For a ten-year-old, it was actually incredibly well done. There was no questioning that Evie had a real talent for art. Even this early on it was obvious. He remembered when she was little how she was drawing all the time. He thought he got her started on that since he always used to doodle and draw. But this was beyond anything he had seen her do in the past.

Letting out a hiss, he looked back over his shoulder at the bathroom door wishing he would have never snapped at her like that. She was just excited to show him something that she had done and it was probably something that she was proud of.

“Good job,” Y/N’s voice was heard from the other side of the room. Looking toward the couch, Negan felt a pain at the center of his chest and he huffed when he saw her sitting there. So much for having a day without seeing her. “You’re really working on getting father of the year. Aren’t you?”

“Please, not now,” Negan begged, lifting his free hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose in hopes of getting this to stop. “I can’t take this right now.”

“Well excuse me,” she breathed out, throwing her hands up dramatically when she leaned back against the couch as if to get comfortable. Why Negan was seeing her truly drove him mad, but he was hoping that he would stop having these visions, not that she would keep coming back. “You make our daughter cry and I’m just supposed to keep my mouth shut? You’re really dropping the ball with Evie, Negan. You’re her favorite and you’re ruining her relationship with you.”

“I’m not,” Negan reasoned with her, noticing that Nathan was looking up at him confused since Negan was ultimately talking to thin air. Hopefully Nathan thought he was talking to himself instead of picking up on his weird habits. “I snapped at her one time. It was a mistake. It won’t happen again.”

“Right. Keep telling yourself that,” she put her feet up on the coffee table when Negan headed for the bed to sit down with Nathan. He wanted to keep working with Nathan, hoping to block out Y/N. “So you’re just going to let her cry in the bathroom?”

“I have two children. When she’s ready for me to talk to her, she will come out,” Negan reasoned handing over one of the toys that he had gotten with Y/N from that store from the night everything happened to Nathan. “I can’t stop paying attention to Nathan just because she’s crying. I also need to allow her the right to her privacy. She’s in the bathroom, she doesn’t want me in there with her.”

“She’s starting to think that Nathan is your favorite,” Y/N spoke up having Negan grumbling under his breath. “You’re barely talking to her and interacting with her. You’re spending all of your free time with Nathan. And when you are with her, she’s taking care of you. You’re not acting like her father, Negan. Being a father was the thing you did best and you’re failing.”

“No, I’m a good father,” Negan corrected, his eyes lifting up angrily from where he was seated on the bed with Nathan. “I’ve been spending all of my time with both of them. I’m being a good father. I’m looking for their mother and I’m doing my best.”

Hearing the sound of the bathroom door opening, Negan watched as Evie walked beyond the table instead of going back to her drawing. Sadness flooded his body when he saw her drop down on the opposite couch that he had been seeing Y/N on. Evie turned and faced the back of the couch after grabbing a pillow to hold onto it.

“You’re not going to go back and finish working on what you were doing?” Negan inquired, speaking loud enough to let Evie know that he was talking to her.

“It’s crap anyways,” Evie retorted with a sigh, squeezing the pillow tightly in her arms.

“I can’t imagine anything you do is crap,” Negan didn’t know if he should tell her that he looked at the drawing or not since she had run off after everything. “Do you want to show me what you were working on?”

“You don’t want to see it,” Evie replied back and Negan could tell that he had upset her. “Just keep playing with Nathan.”

“I’m sure Nathan and I would love to see what you were working on,” Negan suggested feigning a smile in hopes that she would look at him, but she wasn’t. Brushing his fingers through Nathan’s hair, Negan could see that Nathan was preoccupied with the toy Negan gave him and Negan stood up from the bed. Heading over to Evie, Negan knelt down and caressed his fingers over her shoulder. “Hey…listen…”

A long exhale fell from his throat when he tried to get Evie to look at him, but he could hear her crying still which meant she was fighting looking at him, “I didn’t mean to yell at you Evie, I was just…”

The sound of a knock on the door was heard and it made Negan huff out loudly. The person at the other end didn’t wait as the door pushed open, “What?”

“Gregory is going to be stopping by in about an hour,” Simon informed Negan, grasping tightly to the door while he stared out at Negan from across the room. “Apparently he has information about something that is going on with Rick and the rest of the crew. It’s life and death according to him. So I suggest you clean up and get ready because you are going to be at that meeting.”

“I’m kind of in the middle of something,” Negan declared with a frown hating to hear that he was being demanded of something when he was about to make up with his daughter. Well, at least try to. “It can wait.”

“No Negan, it can’t,” Simon snarled at Negan, moving further into the room when he threw his hands up in the air. “He said life or death. So I suggest you take it seriously because that means it could effect the lives of everyone here. Including your children. So if you care about your children, you will get up, get ready and be prepared for that fucking meeting in an hour.”

“Got it,” Negan grumbled under his breath. For once, this did actually seem like a big deal. Once Simon left, Negan looked back to Evie who was still facing the back of the couch. “Evie?”

“Don’t worry about it dad,” she whispered quietly, but he still managed to hear her. “You have more important things to deal with right now. Go do whatever you have to do.”

“Baby,” Negan frowned realizing that Simon coming in and telling him what he did wasn’t going to fix anything when it came to Evie. They should have been having a discussion where he apologized and she had his full attention. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she was still hurt and Negan knew that.

“Listen. Daddy is gonna go get cleaned up for this meeting. After it’s over, how about while Nathan is taking his nap you and I watch a movie together? Maybe we can set this area up, get someone to make some popcorn for us. Get some snacks. What do you say?” Negan caressed over Evie’s shoulder, giving it a firm squeeze. “I love you sweetheart.”

“I love you too,” she breathed out with Negan leaning forward to press a kiss over her temple. He wished she would have said more, but he hurt her. There was no denying that.

Even though he didn’t have any passion in what was happening, Negan took a shower. Cut his hair. Trimmed his beard. Put on the leather jacket, slicked back his hair and pretended. He feigned that smile and that arrogance. He went down to that meeting and did what he had to do. He put on his show. That’s what he always did. But when Rick showed up? Well that’s when everything changed.

At this point in his life he had dropped things with Rick in the name of finding Y/N. But when he was shot in the leg and they shot out the windows of The Sanctuary. That’s when this became personal. That’s when he knew that he had to start focusing on finishing this war. Rick and his crew put his children in danger and Negan didn’t even know if they were okay.

Pacing to the side of the small trailer that he was trapped in, Negan felt the overwhelming heat surrounding him. Trying to look through the small cracks of the boarded-up windows of the trailer, he found himself in a sense of panic. He didn’t even know if his children were okay. And the last thing he did was hurt his daughter’s feelings. More than anything he was scared. Scared if he would make it back to his children. And he was left wondering if they were all right. Now, Negan was going to have to end this war once and for all before he could make the world right for his children. Because Rick made this personal when he involved his children in the danger he was bringing down on Negan and The Sanctuary. And he wasn’t okay with that.

----

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