#I wish my job accommodated me for my disabilities | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lostyesterday · 6 months

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As a visually disabled person myself, one thing I wish TNG had done with Geordi is show his disability actually affecting how he functions in his daily life. For example, I can’t remember a single time in TNG where Geordi is shown as needing accommodations in his work environment. You might say that’s because his visor means that he can basically “see” normally and so he wouldn’t need accommodations, but I find this explanation frustrating.

For one thing, real life visually disabled people absolutely require accommodations to do most jobs, so if Geordi’s meant to be any kind of accurate reflection of the experiences of blind people, he should require some accommodations. For me at least, it isn’t some kind of wish fulfillment fantasy to see a visually disabled character who can do anything a sighted person can with no accommodations whatsoever. Instead, it feels like a denial of everything that being disabled has meant to me over my life. Disabled people are disabled. We have more difficulty doing certain tasks than an able-bodied person would – that’s what makes us disabled. We require changes to our environment in order to function well.

Also, literally just based on the in-universe information given about Geordi’s visor, it doesn’t make any sense to me that he wouldn’t require accommodations. Geordi’s visor is not really described as simulating vision, it is described as providing completely different sensory information about the physical properties of the world around him. I like to imagine the visor’s input as a kind of enhanced spatial awareness with a precise knowledge of where certain objects are, what their shape is, and what they’re made of. As TNG mentions several times, Geordi’s visor provides much more information than human eyes do, but, importantly, in the few episodes where the details of how Geordi’s visor works are discussed at all, it’s never described as providing purely visual information such as the color or reflectiveness of an object. I think that if Geordi faces a mirror, his visor will tell him there’s a piece of glass in front of him and he’ll know about how large it is and what material it’s made of, but he won’t be able to see his reflection in it, because the visor doesn’t provide that kind of visual information. This distinction is important to me, because it means that Geordi is still functionally blind with the visor, and it should mean that he interacts with the world differently from a sighted person.

For example, I would have loved if Geordi had been shown to be unable to recognize particular people until they spoke. All his visor tells him is that there’s a person in front of him and about what size and shape they are, but this isn’t generally enough information to determine a person’s identity. He canonically perceives Data as looking very different from an organic person which makes sense because Data is made of fully different material. And maybe Geordi can generally tell different species apart based on different body temperatures or something like that. But I really wish that Geordi had been shown at least a few times to need the sound of a person’s voice or some other cue to tell him who they were.

I also think it doesn’t make sense that Geordi can apparently read text on computer screens. How can he read if the visor doesn’t really provide visual information? A computer screen should just register as a flat piece of material. Geordi should have required some kind of accommodation to be able to use the computer screens. For example, maybe Geordi could use the computer entirely through voice commands, something that obviously already exists in the star trek world. Or he could use some kind of tactile display. The Voyager episode The Year of Hell shows that computer terminals on starships are able to utilize a tactile display that I’m guessing is somewhat similar to braille. I loved this mention in Voyager of tactile displays, because it indicates that Starfleet ships are probably automatically equipped with such accessibility devices. Geordi needing an accommodation as small as this would have gone really far in terms of making him feel like a genuine representation of a disabled character, at least to me.

#star trek tng #geordi la forge #star trek voy #i really like geordi as a character and there are some things i think tng did fairly well in regards to him as a disabled character #but i also have criticisms and this is one of my big ones #if anyone has any opinions on this or honestly about anything relating to disability in star trek i'd love to hear your thoughts #even if you disagree with me!#lane posts

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copperbadge · 2 months

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Oh geez, is that where the “I have harnessed the secret powers of my ADHD” stuff is coming from? I mean, good work, but maybe don’t put that on your resume.

What, the "how your ADHD is a superpower" thing? I'm not really immersed enough in that niche to know, but it's certainly possible. YouTube I think is a more vocal place when it comes to clickbait about how your neurodivergence is really a neuroadvantage.

It's not objectively bad. I think there is space to both acknowledge that life with neurodivergence can suck, but also that there's nothing wrong with being a different kind of thinker. The problem is with the way our culture treats that difference. Like yeah I wish my brain was different, and even if our culture was different I'd still probably do that, but being old enough to see the ways in which I'm advantaged by it is very validating, and makes up for it.

Despite being terrible with details in my own work, I often catch stuff my neurotypical colleagues miss, both in the work we do and just like, out in the world. Last time we were traveling, one of them said, "Man, I wish there was a bakery around here," and I said "Oh, we passed one two blocks back -- well, not really a bakery, they do mini cheesecakes." Once we backtracked, it was evident that we'd all walked past it but I was the only one who clocked it, because it was tiny and didn't have much signage. My coworker asked me, "How did you even notice this was here?" and I said, "That's the ADHD!" with amusement.

Mind you, I was with two colleagues I trust, one of whom has a kid with developmental struggles, so I was okay talking about it. It shouldn't be something that you have to hide, but yeah it's not something to put on your resume, or in your cover letter. It will make you less employable, which sucks, but also unless you're asking for accommodation that's not something your employer needs to know. I won't advise on when to notify an employer that you'll need accommodation, because I'm not well-versed in disability law, but I've seen it go very badly even with people who have been with an employer for years. And during an interview, anything that's not directly about the job (faith, partner, kids, disability, allergies, etc) should be kept to the absolute minimum, if only because some people in hiring really get put off by any mention of it in a discussion of job skills.

And I think truly the issue is that there was probably a brief moment of about three weeks where "your disability is a superpower" was actually a meaningful, validating statement, and then the Employment Industrial Complex got hold of it and realized that they could shift the messaging to validate anything that contributed to the capitalist work ethic and ignore or dismiss anything that didn't. It's shocking how fast "hey, ADHD has some upsides" became "if you can stop fidgeting your hyperfocus will make us millions."

#sam has adhd

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avpdpossum · 1 year

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i wish more educators saw graded participation and presentations as a legitimate accessibility issue.

i just read through the syllabus for the disability studies course i’m taking this semester and there are so many safeguards put in place to make the class accessible, but there’s still an assignment (worth a lot of points) that requires leading a class discussion, and participation in general is graded.

a disability studies course with a thoughtful professor and i’m still fucked because even a person whose job relies on making things accessible doesn’t seem to understand that some of us literally can’t just get up in front of a class and talk.

my avoidance is just as much of a disability as, say, my inattention or inability to write by hand, and those are accommodated just fine. a disability studies course of all things should not be putting me in this position.

#these things also affect people with unstable health who might not make it to class consistently #but even that’s addressed by other measures or policies for the most part #nothing for those of us who just cant do it to begin with though :)#being able to make up a thing i cant do at all doesnt help me! fuck this #poss.speaks #discussion #personal #vent #accessibility #avpd #actually avpd #actually avoidant #avoidant pd #avoidant personality disorder #cluster c

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idyllic-affections · 1 year

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invisible disability? it's rather visible to me.

summary. baizhu knows the struggle of maintaining a job while being chronically ill; as such, he is willing to offer an accommodating work environment for others who struggle like he does.

trigger & content warnings. angst (at first... it gets better i swear /lh), ableism, etc.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. hurt/comfort. baizhu & chronically ill!teen!reader, qiqi & reader. 1.7k words. they/them pronouns for reader.

author's thoughts. he's out of nonplayable prison ygs!!!!! can't wait to see his character stories for..... personal reasons..... anyways i want to specify that i am chronically ill. i am constantly fighting with my genetics to be healthy, its ridiculous LMAO

imagine baizhu employing a chronically ill, visionless teenager.

baizhu can easily say he's known their family for a long time, so he of course knows that they have trouble keeping a job. they often mention little things like that about their life during their visits with him. never once has he found anything wrong with them; they're always in virtually perfect health.

that doesn't change the fact that they're very clearly struggling. he's observed just how much they overexert themselves in a desperate attempt to actually keep a stable job, simply to help support their family, but all the exertion only seems to make their invisible issues worse.

also... they've been in his care for heat stroke more than once in liyue's warmer seasons. the heat is just far too much for their body to handle if they aren't careful.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

Their voice was so quiet and whispery that if Baizhu hadn't been attuned closely to them at that moment, he might have missed it. They half wished that he would have. Based on the brief glance he spared in their direction, they knew he was listening. Oh well.

"I mean... really. This is ridiculous," they murmured, knees drawn up against their chest. "Everyone thinks I'm just dramatic. I'm not. I do fine for the most part, but then it just... gets bad for no reason at all... how am I in perfect health?"

By that point in their rant, his undivided attention was on them. Though his gaze was thoughtful, musing, they interpreted it differently and winced slightly.

"...Sorry. I really shouldn't be complaining like this in front of someone who's chronically ill."

"No, it's quite alright. You shouldn't minimize your pain. Your struggles are as valid as mine. I find your trust, your ability to confide in me, quite endearing, even," he reassured, unbothered, to which their shoulders seemed to lose some of the tension they harbored. "In fact... I've been thinking about this for quite some time now. Chronic illness may show itself in a variety of forms. Sometimes it may show itself in the form of your symptoms. Would you like to learn how to manage your energy better?"

the liyuean doctor basically hired them right then and there, but they don't really realize that for the first few weeks.

in the beginning, they're just... spending time at bubu pharmacy, learning how baizhu manages his own limited energy and applying those techniques to their own life (it works shockingly well). that's all!

it slowly turns into them helping out where they can—packaging herbs, learning what exactly each one of them does, delivering prescriptions to those who cannot physically get the medicines themselves... even when people start to question if they've found a new job, they remain oblivious.

it's one day while helping mince herbs that they realize they're basically a junior herbalist.

A soft hiss left their lips when the knife nicked the pad of their finger. They were quick to put pressure on the little cut, pulling their hand away from the countertop to prevent any blood from dripping onto it.

"It's best to get rid of those herbs," Baizhu reminded, stepping away from his own work to gently bandage their wound.

A small pout graced their lips. "I didn't get any blood on them, though..."

Amusement and the vaguest hint of fondness twinkled in his gaze. "We don't know that for certain, do we, now?"

"...Wait a minute." Their eyes narrowed suspicously at him, drawing their freshly-dressed hand back once he was done. "This isn't about energy management anymore, is it? Have I been... I've been working here this entire time. These tasks are very employee-like."

"Come, now. Don't look at me like that. You were looking for a stable job, and I am more than willing to accomodate your needs."

"You could've at least said something to me. I've been doing free labor all this time, and as a child, no less! Hmm... now, I do believe that is illegal in this part of Teyvat~ It'd be shame to get Ms. Yanfei involved~"

in the spirit teaching them to manage their energy, he often takes them on house calls with him, starting off to just homes in liyue harbor and later to homes all the way in qingce village. it's a good way for them to gain stamina and get a better understanding of their job.

baizhu has a tendency to smile through his own pain for the sake of his patients.

this habit slipped by unchecked until [name] came around.

whenever they feel like he isn't doing very well, they'll take over for him regardless of what he has to say about it.

herbalist gui is very thankful for them—baizhu hardly ever listened to him, but he does take better care of himself for [name]'s sake.

(he swears that baizhu is oddly parental when it comes to them, but he wouldn't dare mention the doctor's blatant affections to his face.)

"welcome to bubu pharmacy," they'd greet with a kind smile after unceremoniously shoving baizhu towards the back of the pharmacy where he could rest undisturbed, "unfortunately, dr. baizhu is currently out of commission, but herbalist gui and i would be glad to take care of anything you may need."

sometimes changsheng can be seen wrapped around their arm! usually it's their dominant arm, which is terribly inconveniencing. still, it would be an honor to be Chosen™ by their loved one's pet... if only she wasn't so mean to them.

"Hmph. You're terrible at cutting herbs. It pains me just to watch."

"Okay? Go back to Dr. Baizhu then? I'm not holding you hostage, Changsheng. You came to me," they huffed. "Also... maybe I'd be able to cut better if you weren't strangling my dominant arm. Just saying."

It's a few moments later that they're sulking, murmuring curses as Baizhu disinfected their fresh snake bite. Changsheng completely neglected to apologize until Baizhu had prompted her to.

(They would complain that he found that incident a little too funny if anyone were to ask them. It really hurt, you know!)

changsheng bullies them lovingly <3 she bites them affectionately <33

(not that she'd ever say that, though. baizhu knows. he just chooses to let her believe he doesn't know.)

qiqi becomes very attached to them very quickly, i think. she'd like having a nice older sibling around and would address them as such without even thinking about it. "jiějiě," "gēgē"... she can't really tell what gender they identify closer with and doesn't remember to ask, so she tends to bounce between the two terms of address.

she has an entire page in her journal dedicated to little things about [name] that she deems to be important. she notes down things they seem to like, things they seem to dislike, their birthday, other important dates, defining features...

she also keeps important warning signs related to health episodes of their's jotted down, like how when [name] stands still a little too long, qiqi should urge them to sit for a moment because they're probably either dizzy or having vision issues, or how when their hands begin to tremble, qiqi should share a sunsettia with them.

she does miss these signs sometimes... she does her best, though! qiqi only wants to help the sweet junior herbalist that braids her hair and accompanies her on her herb-picking trips and hugs her and says "i love you, please stop this task, you might get hurt" with so much genuine affection that it often overwhelms her :(

it's rare, but sometimes, there will be a customer or patient that has little tolerance for their disability-induced weakness or slowness.

because their illness(es) is(/are) invisible, very few people take their struggles seriously.

some people take this as an excuse to verbally and even physically abuse them.

baizhu does not take kindly to people abusing his employees, especially not his chronically ill teenage employee. especially not them.

"Is there an issue I can help with?"

They didn't mind being the only one at reception during the days Herbalist Gui was out, Qiqi was herb-picking, and Baizhu was otherwise occupied. It wasn't a big deal, really.

At least... not until someone particularly impatient decided to make their job difficult.

Baizhu never took kindly to such incidents; this one was no different. Based on his tone of voice alone, it wasn't hard to guess that he was livid, golden irises alight with rage. Even Changsheng had hissed in their defense at the sight in front of her eyes.

He'd come back just in time to see them flinch away from the raised hand of some foreign adventurer.

"This one—"

"And who said I was asking you?" he scoffed, sliding behind the counter and checking them for wounds. They were shaking, he noted, gingerly supporting a fraction of their weight in case they were to collapse. "I was asking my herbalist, [Name]."

Baizhu was a man of patience and, really...

He wasn't all that confrontational. Despite that, any semblance of the supposed cowardice he harbored was gone in an instant.

His scarred fingers drew soothing shapes on their upper arm as he led them into the back of the clinic, guiding them to sit on one of the beds before their legs could give out.

"Are you alright?"

baizhu takes very good care of them after stressful encounters because he knows very well that such high-stress emotional experiences will take a toll on their body.

whenever a wealthier patient comes in, they've learned to overcharge them on purpose even if it's for the most ridiculous of ailments; oh? you say you have been sneezing quite a lot and are having a hard time breathing? no, no, it's not springtime allergies, who told you that? it's quite dire, in fact, and the treatment price will be awfully expensive... oh? you'll pay it? wonderful!

^ herbalist gui says that baizhu is a terrible influence on them sometimes.

in their defense, they get hefty bonuses every time wealthy people pay ridiculous prices for typically rather inexpensive herbs (like a certain ginger harbinger did one time! they still giggle at the memory of him paying so much for so little). the more wealthy people pay, the bigger their bonuses (fatui harbingers are very wealthy...).

simply put, they make more mora than the majority of their family put together because of this morally dubious behavior.

baizhu, gui, qiqi, and [name] are a chaotic found family but yk what? they all make it work <3

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion's headcanons 🌸#: [ the junior herbalist! 🌸 ]#baizhu x reader #platonic genshin impact x reader #platonic genshin x reader #platonic genshin impact #baizhu x you #baizhu x y/n #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #qiqi x reader #platonic qiqi x reader

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hotwaterandmilk · 1 year

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Big IRL Stuff, feel free to skip

I live with an autoimmune disease and despite being on some pretty decent drugs, I still get sick a lot. I had a pretty rough discussion at work with my boss last week and while I love my job (and have been in the role for years) I do feel like I will need to find somewhere else that is better able to accommodate my disability.

Which is... really hard to deal with. I need money for my medications, rent, food, power/water, etc. so I can't drop everything and take a break like I'd love to do (I've never had a holiday as an adult). But I also can't keep going on like this, I've been given additional responsibilities that I'm just not capable of fulfilling due to my health and just generally, I need less stress in my life.

However, trying to find somewhere that is in my field and also accommodating to someone with my kind of disability needs is difficult to say the least. So many places list "remote working options" when they really mean you can WFH once a month or something and... I'm a hard worker, but that's just not enough with my illnesss.

So yeah, I just wanted to get this off my chest. I've had an intense couple of weeks and obviously if I'm between jobs at any point or having to change to a different type of role I'll likely have to cut down on any frivolous spending (aka: the type of spending I do on the crap I post here).

I just wish there was a way for me to make enough money to stay afloat without having to work myself to the point of hospitalisation every couple of months.

When you don't have a partner or family to fall back on in tough times, when it's 100% just you and then even YOU start being unreliable... what do you do? There's just no easy way to keep a roof over your head in the current world without working yourself into an early grave.

(Also I got misdiagnosed in the hospital over the weekend when someone misread my CT scan, so that's been a whole other thing.)

I just want a quiet life with my basic needs met & my health stable and even that seems like a pipe dream. I'm sure I'm not the only one in a similar situation and I've been fortunate to have been able to keep going until now, but it just SUCKS that this is where I and so many other people are at what should be the prime of our lives.

If you've read this far you're a saint, thank you.

#personal #having a whinge #feel free to ignore

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thedisablednaturalist · 1 year

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This is a response to the article you posted earlier, and I wish I was brave enough to open up about this on my main account.

I am also an ambulatory wheelchair user, but I gave up my dream of field work two years ago when I was diagnosed with a life-long chronic illness. I was afraid of being labeled a "liability", so I never considered even trying to find a way to make things work.

I started going back to college this past winter to try to get a Bachelor's Degree in Ecology, but it's been rough. The last few months I've felt like I have just been spinning my wheels -pun somewhat intended- You don't have to respond to this. I just felt like I needed to thank you and tell you that you have helped make my day today a little bit brighter. Reading your article, seeing your smiling face while you hold a log full of bugs, and hearing your story- it made me feel more hopeful and less alone.

Sometimes I get scared, that being so visible and open about my disabilities will prevent me from getting a job and from achieving my dreams. I doubt myself, like am I even doing anything to help? All I really do is have this little Tumblr blog with less than 500 followers, and work with my professors to make my old campus a little more accessible.

And then I get messages from people like you, and I feel like I'm making the right choice. When I was starting out there was literally no space for disabled people in ecology, no advice, no outreach. I did a ton of research and while there are plenty of wonderful disabled activists, I couldn't find any who worked in environmental science. I felt so alone and was treated badly by some professors and classmates which discouraged me even more. So I started this blog hoping to meet more people like myself and compile advice and info for disabled people trying to break into the natural sciences. I've been super surprised with the amount of support and feedback I've gotten so far, the disabled community on Tumblr is so wonderful and willing to help eachother. I'm so happy I've been able to reach people like you which was my main goal all along.

Honestly I started tearing up a little reading your message, and it just empowers me even more to keep going and not be afraid to say yeah I'm disabled and I love working outdoors! I am a scientist! I won't stop fighting to get workplaces to see our value.

I'm so happy for you that you decided to go back to school! Please don't be afraid to ask for accommodations and utilize your university's disability services. It's okay to go at your own pace, I know money is an issue for most of us but it's better to take longer than to end up failing classes. The road to graduation may be harder for us but I know you can do it! Please keep me updated! And as always feel free to ask me any questions!

#asks #chronic disability #chronic illness #environmental science #ecology #sorry this is long im just so touched by your message

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vanillacreambunny · 6 months

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Just writing out my thoughts.

My dad made a comment yesterday about how I need to talk to my doctor about disability at my next appointment because I can't go the next 5 years without an income.

It rubbed me the wrong way because I have been studying pretty much nonstop since I left my job so I can get A+ certified, and, hopefully, get a desk job in IT at some point.

I also don't know what's going on with me. It could be something minor and easily fixable. I'm not going to jump the gun. Also, why would I want to go 5 years without an income? It's been a couple months, and I hate it. I already feel guilty, and it sucks not making my own money.

I'm not going to go into my family history and dynamic, but my parents never made things easy, and maybe if they had taken me seriously years ago I wouldn't be here now. I'm doing my best to get better even though there are a lot of days I feel hopeless. I'm trying not to give up. Offline is very lonely and isolating, which doesn't help either.

I wish I could take Barnes and Noble up on their offer and apply for a seasonal position, but I know I would feel awful. I went to the zoo yesterday for 4 or so hours, and I did not feel well at all when I got back. Maybe they could accommodate me, but even if I could sit at the register all day, my hands would hurt and become so stiff I could hardly move them, and when I left in July they were pushing memberships down peoples' throats. I am not a salesperson, so this gave me a lot of anxiety; they even started to track and reprimand people who weren't selling enough. All for $11 an hour 😭 The walk to and from the bus was wearing on me too.

I keep thinking about commissions; the most expensive is $25 USD. It's not a stable income, but it would give me something every now and then. I'm kind of anxious to try because I've had these issues, and some days are better than others. I would try my best to get them done quickly, but I'm afraid I'd be too slow. I also think I should build up my portfolio since I don't have many examples yet. I do on my old blog, though I think my style has changed a bit since then. I was considering ych commissions to make it easier; in a simple shading style. I'm just really hesitant.

In the meantime, I keep looking for part-time remote jobs, but the jobs I find I think I can do either reject me or I never hear back 😔 The other day I even wished I could work at a coffee shop or something just to make money, but I'm just falling apart it seems.

I see my doctor on Wednesday, so I hope I can figure more out. I hate whining about this, but I actually have a lot of anxiety and guilt surrounding it. Some days I feel validated that my family can see certain changes. Other times I think I'm a baby and there's nothing actually wrong with me. I grew up adopting a tough guy persona because of my parents and the things I dealt with because of them. Losing that hurts too.

At the zoo yesterday I was trying to open a lemonade. I was struggling. My sister popped it open so easily. Of course, we joke about it, but it just sucks and worries me. What happened?!

If anyone actually reads my ramblings, thank you 🥺 I always go to write out my thoughts really quickly, and then type up multiple paragraphs lol. I love you and hope you have a wonderful day 💕

#i'll delete later #dear diary

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cripplecharacters · 2 years

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hi! I have a question in regards to "abled savior" trope and compassion fatigue. I am currently writing a story that features someone who cares for a severely ill and disabled family member. From personal experience I know that the stress that comes with caretaking can in some cases cause burnout and depression. While this is of course not to be weighed against the struggles of the disabled character in any way, I would like to explore this dilemma in a way so that does mirror my personal experiences while not shifting the narrative in a way that rehashes old and harmful tropes. Do you have thoughts on that and maybe some things to look out for when portraying fatigue and mental health issues in caretakers?

Hello, and thanks for your question! As you've mentioned, this is a topic which should be treated with a lot of care and nuance, as it can be very easy to reinforce ableist stereotypes in storytelling about caretakers. For context about my response, I'm a chronically ill person who does not have a paid or formal caretaker but my partner and roommate often act as caretakers for me in my everyday life.

You're absolutely correct in caretaking being a stressful and difficult job (especially when unpaid or unrecognized by society as a legitimate form of labour). I have a few general questions that I would encourage anyone writing about caretaking to ask themselves and keep in mind as they write:

Whose perspective is the story being told from?

Does the reader ever hear from the disabled character in their own words?

How much agency does the disabled character have in their life and in making decisions about their care?

What relationship does the caretaker have to the disabled person? How do they feel about one another?

Is the disabled character being portrayed as a burden to the non-disabled character(s)?

My advice would be that the negative feelings experienced by your caretaker character should not be directed towards the disabled person in their care. The disabled character should not be framed by your story as a burden to your caretaker character by virtue of requiring care. Caretaking can be incredibly difficult and thankless, but some of us have no choice but to rely on caretakers and shouldn't be blamed for that.

That isn't to say that your caretaker character can never experience fatigue or burnout--but consider where the character directs those emotions.

In text, you can have your character:

Feel frustration and anger towards living in an ableist society that sequesters disabled people and often leaves us solely reliant on caretakers, when care responsibilities should ideally be more holistic and collective.

Wish that caretakers had more financial, physical and material support to make their responsibilities easier. You can have them lament that other characters in their life don't see their caretaking as genuine labour, or won't accommodate their caretaking responsibilities (e.g. medication, hygiene or feeding schedules).

Grieve whatever the relationship dynamic had been before they became a caretaker, depending on their relationship to the disabled character and whether the disability is acquired or congenital, and working through those emotions.

Access mental health supports and talk to other caretakers about their struggles, or ask caretakers and other disabled characters for advice on making their responsibilities easier for both them and the disabled person in their care.

Talk out any sticking points with the disabled person in their care and have them both confide in one another, and have your caretaker character reaffirm their commitment to the disabled character not just because they have to, but because they choose to.

Negotiate arrangements for others to temporarily manage the disabled character's care if they need to take a break due to burnout (following prior discussion with and consent from your disabled character).

I would strongly, strongly recommend that, if nothing else, you don't make the caretaker character consider leaving the disabled person because they are too much work and they don't want to be a caretaker anymore. Instead, your character might condemn abled people who have abandoned their disabled loved ones in need of care. Again, your character can resent the situation they've been put into by the way caretaking is structured and treated in ableist society, but they should never resent the disabled character for requiring care.

Remember that if your caretaker character is getting depressed, chances are that so is the disabled person in their care. We notice what our caretakers are feeling when they're with us. It doesn't feel good to know that our caretakers are exhausted when we have no choice but to rely on them and there's little we can do to ease their responsibilities. We often worry about whether our caretakers resent us for our care needs, and if they're visibly frustrated or exhausted, that fear skyrockets. This isn't to say you should never depict your character visibly upset, but it shouldn't go unacknowledged by your disabled character.

Disabled people in need of care are told that we are burdens and more work than we're worth, but I encourage anyone depicting caretaking to recognize that we make sacrifices too. We often weigh what we do or don't absolutely need in order to ease our caretakers' jobs a bit, but that can also harm us if all we're getting are the absolute bare necessities for survival (for example, if my caretakers are busy and I need to eat but am bedbound, I might choose to go hungry for longer than I should). Caretaking is always a two-way relationship, and both of these characters should be fully fleshed out and three-dimensional. Your disabled character in care should be making their own decisions and asserting themselves when needed.

My last piece of advice--and this ultimately depends on the genre and type of story you want to tell--would be to encourage you to depict joy wherever you can. Disabled people are worthy of not just care but genuine love and affection, and I would love to see more depictions of strong emotional bonds between disabled people and our caretakers. For those of us whose caretakers are loved ones, they should care for us out of love because they want to see us happy and as healthy as possible. There's a lot of grief and depression depicted already in media that revolves around disability, but we could always use more disabled joy.

Thanks again for your question and best of luck writing!

Additional input from disabled people with caretakers is more than welcome :)

-Mod Faelan

#mod faelan #caretakers #mental health #physical disability #compassion fatigue

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zebulontheplanet · 9 months

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Can you give me some advice? Lately I've been getting access to a lot of the things I need, some of those things being diagnosis and work. My circumstances are really different from other autistic people and have a hard time relating to the high-masking/invisibly autistic crowd, but I don't know if I have a place with higher support need folks. I've had a store keeper job for two days that almost ended in a meltdown and me seriously mishandling machinery people can normally handle that could've left me with irreversible bodily harm, and now I have an option to do something related to my special interest. I have a really hard time with transportation and handling safety outside, am semiverbal, shut down at the drop of a hat etc. which my parents go back and forth between saying that I can't be independent or that I can learn if I try/with time. My personal intuition about the extent of my disability(which is the problem, I haven't fully seen it yet) might be.. uncomfortably more impactful than people around me think. My family has subconsciously made a somewhat accommodating environment for me to not completely break down, and they've always significantly supported me. But contending with the idea I might be significantly disabled is hard. What if people are right, if I "apply" myself I won't be so disabled. But also, this could end in a massive meltdown/regression, and feel that people around me are being a bit overly optimistic. I don't know what to do or think. Thank you for reading.

Hello! I relate in a lot of ways. Before my regression i was semi-independent and my parents were sure that i'd be fine independent in life. i even held down a few jobs even but had to leave due to burnout and physical health issues.

Growing up i never saw people like me. People who couldnt mask very well, people who stimmed a lot, people who were just in the middle of things if that makes sense. That was until i came onto social media, specifically tumblr. I now feel like i have a pretty good community and have a lot of good mutuals! I swear i have a point here!

My point is that you will find your people eventually. And if you cant find your people in the high support needs community then maybe search in the medium support needs community. There arent many of us on tumblr but we're definitely here. It takes time to find where you belong, and honestly ive been trying to build up the community myself! Thats why i started posting. You definitely aren't alone in this. Also, whoever said if you just applied yourself you'd be better is an asshole! You're disabled, and thats ok. I wish you the best of luck!

im sorry if this isnt what you meant, you didnt exactly ask a question. if you need more advice then lmk!

#autism #medium support needs #semiverbal

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clamberingout · 7 months

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Ever since I found out I have sensory issues I feel like I've been constantly grasping at my sanity while it remains forever slightly out of reach

I only regain it completely in moments of isolated sensory calmness, but it leaves as soon as I do anything at all

All I want is to live my life without having to constantly accommodate myself

My environments are not sensory-friendly enough, but in order to make them more friendly, I have to do a bunch of stuff that will be extremely uncomfortable and it's way easier to just not do that and try to accommodate myself as much as possible in the flawed ways I have for now

Sometimes I wish I could go back to not knowing I had these problems, because I notice them so much more now and it's debilitating

How do I escape the constant discomfort? How do I motivate myself to leave my bed? How do people like me ever hold a job? What will my life look like in 5 years?

I am terrified

I used to think I didn't have a disability, and sometimes I wish I still didn't know

Knowing means I have to do something about it, and that is the hardest thing of all when I am already so weak

#sensory issues #autism #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #adhd

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thecolorblockcurator · 5 months

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I am at a crossroads. I have a job I love love love. I'm a chef for a residence hall. It's an awesome job. And I only work while class is in session. I need the long breaks to recover and rest. I have no benefits. I am paid very little for a big job that is seen as a part-time gig despite taking up traditional working hours. I do all the ordering, planning, and preparing. I accommodate dietary needs (happily, may I add, everyone has a spot at the table and will eat well). I also have a part-time evening job. Together I take home about 40k/year. I have two roommates.

This is the first work I don't actively hate and my mental is at some of the best its ever been. I have 10 years in the food industry prior to this job. But unless the salary can come up to my current yearly take home I don't think I will contract again. I need benefits. I feel great sadness about this. I love this job, I love these people. I cannot live on this compensation but I also don't want to return to a traditional employment type thing because my brain gets so screwy. They seem to really like me but like. Ugh.

Do you have any advice?

I'm sorry that's so rough finding a place where you fit & enjoy what you do but it's just not livable. I definitely understand - I've worked at 2 amazing places in the past where I liked all my coworkers, loved what I did - but the pay was just impossible to live off of. (ironically I make less now as a disabled self employed artist- but not much I can do about that)

Start with talking to your supervisors about a raise for all that you do - what you specifically bring to the roll. Talk with your coworkers about how much you all make - maybe use that as an advantage when talking to your boss. maybe see if there are similar jobs that have their salary & benefits listed for comparison.

But I get it - it's so hard to make that decision to leave. But I think it comes down to valuing yourself. What are your skills & talents worth? Is that being fairly compensated? It's like that ikigai chart - you've got 3 of the 4 areas where you feel fulfilled - but it's not sustainable.

I really wish you the best of luck - I hope they recognize all you do and you can keep working where you want to work. But if you can't continue working there be gentle with yourself- but know that you're making that decision because you value yourself.

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monzterzack · 9 months

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i dont have many places to vent now, as i have committed the mistake of trying to be profitable with my art, so ill vent here

getting the autism diagnosis helped me a lot, because now im aware that a lot of my missery and struggles come from it

however it did jack shit to help with the empty hole in my chest of feeling like a weirdo that is going to die alone

it also didnt help me to communicate to my irl relationships that i do need accommodations, and i do struggle a lot

they just took it as if i was an inspirational story, because even when having autism im still doing what normal people do, when im killing myself over here trying to fulfill all the responsibilities that they find easy to do

i dont want to say it, but im constantly on the brink of financial collapse, im always in pain and overstimulated/understimulated, trying to find a way to trick my brain into doing what i want it to do

they still see my binge eating as a personal failure, instead of a natural soothing mechanism that has gone wild because im too stressed to deal with stuff

and i sorta get it, i truly do, pretending like everything i do is correct just because im disabled is not helpful either, but i would really like it if instead of “being real” with me all the time, they would at least try and ease out my stress a bit

i dont know

i stopped taking my meds again, they just kill all my creative drive and im miserable when i cant draw or write

i still feel like no one gets me, and i get frustrated because im turning bitter from having to overexplain myself constantly

im still playing savior in my house, im still taking more than i can bite, and its settling that i will probably never leave this place

im glad that now i know its not just me being “bad at being a human”, i just wish it helped me get more kindness and help

i dont want to be one of those “autism is my only personality trait” people, but everyday i realize more and more how a lot of what i do is indeed because of the autism, i just wish someone gave me a manual on how to work with it

im not capable of getting a regular job, and its scaring me a lot for the future as there isnt any social security service that could help me here

im just sharing not to ask for sympathy or solutions, but because i dont have anywhere else to vent without it sounding like im looking for excuses

im drowning and then swimming up for a second, then drowning again, im so tired

#vent #ramble #ill be fine everything will be fine #im just very tired

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transkingbee · 10 months

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One thing I’m really grappling with right now mentally and emotionally is the fact that I was BORN physically disabled but I didn’t know because my parents treated me like I was faking all my pain or that it was my fault.

I know my parents took me to doctors, I know I had just as much tests and crap that I do now when I was a little kid. But my mother just acts like if those doctors never found anything then nothing was wrong. But here’s the kicker: WE KNEW at least one thing that was wrong.

I was born premature and my legs are twisted. My knees point in and my feet point out and it’s hell on my hips. And that’s just one disability in a slew of them but this one we KNEW about the WHOLE TIME. And my mother still refuses to acknowledge that I am disabled.

“Well you’re in pain because you never did your physio exercises so we just stopped going.” Excuse me? I was a CHILD. It was YOUR job to make sure I did the exercises! I also wish she fn understood that just doing the exercises wasn’t going to CURE my pain. It could’ve helped me train my bones to sit straight but that’s not a 100% fix for all the issues I’ve got.

And being treated my whole life like I was lying about or exaggerating my pain made me absolutely unable to know when a pain was a serious issue or something I had to just shut up and deal with.

It’s like the grief I felt when I found out I was autistic and how we could’ve known all this time and maybe I wouldn’t have been treated so badly if they’d known (which prob isn’t true because ableism and at least I never went through ABA), and now I’m feeling a similar thing about how if I had known I was physically disabled I could have accommodated myself more and maybe I wouldn’t be in so much pain now. But again it’s probably not true because of ableism and also because at least some of this pain is most likely neurological. (My doctors have 0 idea what’s wrong with me but I have basically every symptom. Every one.)

Anyway I’m just laying here in excruciating pain and feeling some sort of way about the way I’ve been treated growing up and how it shaped the way I masked and hid al of my problems my whole life.

#personal #rant #chronic pain #chronic illness #disabled #physically disabled #disability

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transcendentalmaggot · 3 months

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I was denied SSDI due to my family (just my Dad, a 73 year-old who is retired and living on SSDI himself) having too many resources, that medical marijuana was proving beneficial to me (what job can you do while high, your honor? I wish I asked..) and it might “make me better, my nerve damage affecting “only” one limb primarily and arthritis from multiple orthopedic surgeries being localized to the bones purposefully broken by surgeons for the purpose of osteotomies and/malformed due to my birth defect. The birth defect that required 30+ surgeries from the day I was born including multiple orthopedic procedures was referred to by the judge as just “bladder issues”. My PTSD, MDD, and ASD were considered managed because I’ve never been involuntarily committed. I’m still working with DVS but being unable to do manual labor, restaurant work, or retail, all physically demanding jobs. I was only able to work as long as I did due to my first job being accommodating to my health issues. I feel utterly despondent but most of all I am afraid and don’t know where do from here.

I’m so numb I have no idea where to go from here. DVS and the job search is a constant exercise in humiliation. No wonder the highest employment rate ever logged by the DoL for those with severe disabilities is 29%… in 1979.

I worked for 6 years and those SSA work credits are now expired, naturally. I could apply for SSI as I have nothing to my name but being on Medicaid with an ostomy requiring medical supplies to not die a slow and painful death makes the prospect dire. I’ve helped and been privy to enough of my fellow BE folks needing to pool resources to get supplies because Medicaid refuses an adequate supply.

I wish just one thing wasn’t such a damn struggle.

#personal #venting #disability

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throw-away-account-69420 · 1 year

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Rant about autism. TW: Talks a lot about the downsides of getting a diagnosis, including but not limited to medical discrimination, blocking of visas, and guardianships/conservatorships.

As someone who was diagnosed with autism at a young age, I am often terrified by the way the laws effect me differently than my non-autistic peers.

There was nothing I could've done to not be diagnosed. I was seven and even if I masked the absolute shit out of not being autistic to doctors, the extensive tests they put me through would've broken through the act eventually.

Now unfortunately for me, I can be taken off the organ donor list, denied employment (although they will never say it was the autism), denied visas, and more. I just found out that sometimes Autistic peoples medical equipment are rationed because other ("more productive") people need it more. I found out that sometimes autistic people are put on do not resuscitate lists without their consent. Say what you want about non-discrimination laws, but in this day and age its like arresting people for jay-walking. Too common and more than likely will end with no penalty. Canada didn't even want us until 2018 and that was barely.

Then there's fucking guardianship and conservatorship shit that can be forced upon me without my consent. Like wtf. I don't even want to go into that shit because every time I look at it I am filled with fear and paranoia. Can't even trust the ones you love to have your best interests at heart. (I love my mom and trust her, but jeez. That's way too much power for anyone over my life.)

I'm a successful college student with an above average IQ majoring in an engineering field and I can be denied basic shit on because of sheet of paper I was handed when I was seven. They assume that because I am autistic, I am less productive than the average member of society.

It doesn't even get me any good accommodations! All my accommodations are geared towards my ADHD, so I literally gained nothing. The shitty ABA therapy I got for autism socially crippled me by isolating me from my peers and preventing me from forming natural friendships. I had to dedicate so much to a program I didn't ask to be in, didn't benefit from, and actively harmed any progress I was making by actively trying to make me dependent to them like I was some sort of cash pig.

For fuck's sake, when autistic people said a puzzle piece was offensive, people's initial reaction was not "We'll make an effort to use the correct symbol in the future." but "Not all autistic people are offended. My five year old son isn't." If I flip off your five year old son, would he be offended or would he be confused and start copying me like the impressionable child he is.

Sorry for the rant.

I'm just so tired. I don't wish to offend anyone or make it seem like I'm ungrateful for what I do have, but its terrifying knowing that in the next two years I'll have to make the decision to either limit my job potential by applying for disability, or do nothing and no longer be insured as a dependant. I have no savings because I was too busy with shitty ABA therapy and taking on two associates degrees (because of parental pressure) in high school to get a job. My mom has no problem with taking me in, but I want to have my own life like everyone else. Instead, I'm treated like a burden and blocked off from being my own individual. I'm scared.

#throwaway post #autism #actually autistic #autism discrimination #rant

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