#I wish the best for all even if my mood doesnt seem to reflect that sowwy qwq <3

[thisdreamplace]

Hi dream. 😵‍💫 anon here. I want to respond to your last response. I don’t believe that being anxious stops us from being in a state of what we want either. Sometimes people throw so many random conditions around. Even if we have anxiety and cry, that doesn’t mean we aren’t on the path or in the state. The state won’t feel like forcing ourselves not to be a certain way. If we’re anxious, we’re anxious. I have it in my mind that everything will be okay despite the negative emotions or reactions. I appreciate you being so open here. I hate that you were feeling that way and I hope you are feeling more at ease now. Sending a virtual hug. 🫂 Also the movie you talked about, What Dreams May Come, is now on my watch list. I’m going to watch it tonight, actually. Thank you for the recommendation.

I had such a real conversation with myself yesterday. I asked “what is being myself?” I have never known. I’ve always wanted to be like or be someone else. I’ve always tried so hard to be liked that I never once just went with the flow of being me. I only lived for the validation & views of others, even with my looks. My looks were the only reason people even gave me attention. So I let that fuel my high school life. Everything I did or looked like was for other peoples’ validation. Soon, peoples’ compliments didn’t feed my ego anymore. I was left with how I truly felt about myself. Bad. I let that feeling settle and I’ve never been the same. My whole being changed when I had to depend on myself for my own happiness. I felt ugly and so did the world. Eventually, even my friend called me ugly. No one genuinely liked me as an entire person, just my face. I’ve been in a downward spiral ever-since. I haven’t known how to pick myself up. Of course I have matured since then, I just turned 20, but I still see how living by people’s validation has gotten me to this negative point. I’ve been afraid to be me (even with the things I like to do) because of my dependency on others’ views.

I remember you speaking about not avoiding yourself. I know it seems like I had such a negative revelation but I’m joyful about it. My problem with everything and even manifesting is that I keep seeking that validation from others. I noticed that even my desires were linked to, “if I get this, then people will think this” But why haven’t I prioritized how I felt? Don’t I want to change my life for me? I’m still learning. I’m still growing, but I hope to live for me now.

I wish everyone could see your blog. So they’d know that their journey is okay. There is a future waiting with possibilities. And there is a now that we are meant to enjoy and make the best of. 😊 I would have never thought like this before, but you have opened my mind, Dream! 💕 Now, I’m going to watch What Dreams May Come and begin the journey of being me. I’m excited to see who I will become everyday of my life.

P.S. I hope your day went well today. I’m sending you peace & love.

hiiii 😵‍💫anon <3

"the state won't feel like forcing ourselves to be a certain way" right... and it just doesn't make sense really. when we feel down, our entire world doesnt disappear. we still have those things that feel natural to have hahah, despite the mood we are in. and i'm feeling much better 🥰 thank you. these days, honestly, i really just invite it all in. no matter what...i really just... choose freedom over holding onto anything painful. thank you for the virtual hug.

i'm so glad you brought that up and are figuring that out for yourself. i think that these days, thats the question everyone asks: "who do i wanna be" and not so much, "who am i, really ?" and i have found that.. i've gotten a lot further asking the second question than the first. because if everything is already perfect and aligned within myself... i don't need to be anything else or try to be some ideal. i just need to allow my true self to shine through. i'm glad you were able to reflect that much, because through that you'll know how to move forward. you know what stories you used to believe about yourself and now you don't have to keep believing in them. not that it'll be easy, but you have found a guide within yourself of what to let go of in order to move forward. and that's always wonderful.

i think that even a negative revelation is a freeing one. because now you won't be as much of a prisoner to it, you can't possibly change something you aren't even aware of it. even though it's painful, it's also... exciting. :) i really get it. living for yourself is really the way. i reread an article from a few years ago yesterday, and it was just a reminder of that. in all of this... there's really no one to worry about but you. you know, we don't get a prize/more love for our suffering. so why keep engaging in it ? i'm glad that you're doing all of this for yourself now. keep moving forward and always remember that the healing isn't linear... it'll be okay to feel like things are more hard sometimes. just never forget that you can return to yourself always.

thank you so much for your kind words 🥹 it really means a lot to be because... that's really what i wanted in having this blog. to share my own journey and through that, emphasizing that it's okay not to be okay. there's a light... and it's our own selves, if we allow it. i've been the light in my own darkness, and i want everyone to know the same is true for them. i'm glad you know it now too. :) and i'm so excited for you !!

please let me know what you think of the movie ! i just rewatched it today, and it was just as lovely, honestly better now that i've grown since the last time i saw it. and also, i just love the visuals of the movie. so beautiful !

also thank you, my days have been really lovely. there's just so much love everywhere and i'm just allowing myself to take it all in. it's really nice hehe ❣️

[inmemoriesoflgckeeho]

trainee eval reflection solo

“did I learn a lot?” 

“did I grow from this experience?”

keeho ponder on the thought, this was an experience that had change his perspective on the way that he had been training. since he was a part of the trainee evaluation he has been taking practice more serious.

“there was a lot to learn, not just from the workshop but from the hyungs as well.” keeho would have to admit that he probably wouldn’t had made it with much improvement if it wasn’t for all of the boys in the evaluation. “they’ve taught me their strength, and I did my best to help them improve in area that I could.” he nodded “i’m not the best, but I like to help where I can.”

there was a lot more that he wanted to say but did he enough time to ramble on about the unimportant topic like “I like to think that I was the mood maker.” he said with a faint smile. this was something that he would like to be known for. “everyone seem very stressed and worried” why wouldn’t they be? after all this was a little scary. “I didn’t want them to feel that way, so I did my best to be positive and change the mood to a more light.” 

scratching his head, he thought back to the performance that he laid out. keeho worked hard on it and type zero’s make a wish, was the exact that he really enjoy. he like that hip hop with a little bit of sexy that was sprinkle on top of the music. “for my performance I did type zero’s make a wish.” he announce as if he didn’t just perform it. “it was just right up my alley of the type of music that I would like to perform.”

“I feel like I could had work on being a little more stable in so area.” he said as his performance felt like a rollercoaster ride. “there were parts that I knew I didn’t perform my best due to being a little uncertain and there were also part that I think I was very strong. however, I was disappointed that I wasn’t a strong dancer throughout the whole performance.” but let not make it sound like he didn’t improve at all. keeho knows that his dancing has improved. 

“but I am still very proud of my performance.” time to wrap it all up before he shed a tear. “I use to dance with no expression and no ‘power’.” he still doesnt fully understand the meaning of being powerful in dance. “but I think i’ve got better. I no longer look...well flimsy.” is that was even the right word. 

“i’m not main dancer material right now, but hey who knows...maybe I can be.” keeho laugh lightly. doubt it but that was just the motivation that he needed to continue to push. 

“I really enjoy the trainee evaluations and I’ve learn a lot. I know what I need to work on and what I need to imrpove on as well.”

#lgc:bgtraineeeval #⏤ solo #⏤ reflection #⏤ wc: 513

[dapperrokyuu]

*compartmentalizes the difficult parts of my personality into the “sad times” tag* c:

#dee p thoughts #this is me telling you Im retagging those past posts and future posts in this tag #I wish the best for all even if my mood doesnt seem to reflect that sowwy qwq <3 #that c: is both sincere and biting the former is what you should take this as

[katsukikitten]

Irritated 4

A/N lol opps I wrote another part I hope you all enjoy this while it lasts. Tehe (insert evil face here)

Bakugou swipes at the steamy mirror wishing his shower could have been hotter.

Hot enough to burn his skin and bring him back to reality. He tongues his cheek as he stares at his reflection. Thinking of the chopsticks, of admitting to thousands of people that he actually LOVED your shitty coffee order that he drank to spite you.

And of your soft body pressed against his as you reached for his wallet. Sure he had pinned you and you had pinned him plenty of times in real anger fueled fist fights.

But that's exactly what they were. Tension come to a head and released the only way the two of you knew how. Talking with a fist was much more honest and effective than any word uttered.

So why were you clinging to him when you came back from the bathroom, sans cup that you needed soooo badly. Why were you wearing such shifty eyes so suddenly when you were fine before? And why were you holding yourself back at the restaurant? Did the waiter dare say something to you? Look at your chest too long? If he had why did you just let it go?

But most importantly why did Bakugou care?

He gives his reflection a grimace before walking into the dimly lit bedroom. Clicking his tongue when he sees your pillow placed on the bed, he rolls his eyes at how the security guard placed it.

Lewd side up with your suit ripped in the stupidest places to reveal more.

He would rip it right down the middle, fucking the zipper up so you couldn't hide from him before deleicatly, so agonizingly slow, sliding it down those broad shoulders to reveal those fat tits.

Wait what the hell was he thinking? Explosions pop on steady fingers as he thinks of destroying the stupid thing.

But then how would he torture you with it?

He shoves it off the bed before rooting around his bag for a pair of black boxer briefs. The kind that hug his ass and thighs nicely, leaving little to imagination on his size.

Movement catches his eye from the balcony and he presses himself into the shadows as best he can. The cool, textured wall further agitates the itch in his hands to ignite. He moves towards the door as he makes out a figure sitting in one of the cheap chairs on HIS balcony.

He bares his teeth as your ill will echoes through his head.

*"I hope you get stalked."*

Was that why you were constantly looking over your shoulder?

Right now it doesn't matter. He is thankful the figure cannot see him as he approaches the glass sliding door. He flings it open, hand erupting in pops causing the figure to jump and turn with lightning speed before floating mid air.

Eyes glowing faintly as they are fixated on his shirtless body.

It takes him milliseconds to figure out it is you.

You clad in hardly anything, your belly button ring catches the light pulling him back to the here and now. Reminding him that you might be displaying your ass for the world.

And not showing your ass with your damn attitude like you normally did. He grips onto your arm tightly pulling you harshly into his chest.

You want to yell but again the faint smell of buttery sugar and spices causing the bubbling anger to stop rising.

"Baka some fans know this is our hotel." He growls, squeezing you for a moment, "The internet can see your ass when *you* post it. Not when some random beta's try taking grainy pictures of it."

You don't say anything as you sink into his touch for a moment because in those quickly ticking seconds you feel normal....safe.

"What are you doing on my balcony?" He asks darkly and you push him away, slipping past his arms and into his hotel room.

"Let's watch a movie Kaachan!" You sing song, offering the best smile you can as you avoid the topic, "Deku was already asleep."

The lie leaves your lips with ease and he does not notice. Although you do notice his slight blush and he does notice your negligence to answer his question.

You plop on the couch curling into the corner as if you nether of you were half dressed as he sits furthest from you that he can. Flipping through the channels waiting for you to whine to stop and when you don't he steals a glance at you.

You're staring at the TV but it looks more to him as if you're staring through it. Nails digging into the couch as he watches everything within a foot radius around you float centimeters above their surface.

What the fuck was bothering you so badly?

A thump at your door and voices outside startle you and the items come crashing down, your cheeks burn.

"Oi. What the fuck are they doing outside?" Bakugou snarls as he goes to stand. You grab for his wrist looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Eyes that he meets with slits before ripping his hand free.

"If we're gonna watch a movie its gonna be quiet in the fucking hall. Now you pick little one." He snarls tossing the remote onto the cushion that was between you two. You hastily grab for it muting the TV as the plastic rectagle in your hand groans from the pressure of your vice grip.

Bakugou opens the door without a second thought despite his lack of clothes. He spots a man with green eyes staring at your door until the numbers burn into his retinas.

Bakugou doesnt miss him deactivating his quirk although the man thinks he is keeping it hidden by angling his body just so. Red eyes watch pale flesh pulling back into itsself forming a solid hand once more.

"Oi, what are you doing?" His voice comes out dark and for a second the green eyed man looks a little less deranged and a little more scared.

Bakugou studies his face, committing the slope of his nose, the width of his eyes, and the small scar on his upper lip to memory and wondering if he's seen it before.

And where he had seen it before? A villain database? A B rated wanted poster?

No he clearly couldn't use his quirk well enough to keep it hidden and his quirk seemed more creepy than harmful.

Still Katsuki did not like him standing in front of your door with eyes that gleamed in the dull light of the hall. Katuki grips the door jamb, the wood whines from the force as he tries to keep himself in check.

"Are you fucking deaf? What are you doing here?"

The man blinks rapidly before offering a smile that looks off. His lips twitching as if he cannot do it properly.

"Have you seen Tejina? I want to give her this. She left it." He says as he rummages through his bag further putting Katsuki on edge. He let's the adrenaline heat his skin as sweat begins to form in his palm, waiting and willing to combust on command.

The man produces a pastel purple cup, with a relaxed Aizawa in an oversized knit sweater holding a sleepy cat. Their expressions eerily similar with MOOD in bold capitalized letters. Scalet eyes narrow, so she had bought it.

Why leave it? Was this guy there?

Bakugou snatches the cup, teeth bared as he speaks again. Who was this asshole?

"I'll give it to her. Now leave before I put you in the hospital. Got it?" Malice radiates off the ash blonde in waves as he thinks of this creep getting to close to you.

Suddenly his demeanor changes as he holds eye contact with Katsuki.

"That's not how a hero should speak." You hear the phrase from the couch causing your blood to run cold. This could be it. This could be game over for Bakugou's career like it almost was for you just a short while ago.

Explosions litter Katsuki's skin as his voice dips so low your stomach clenches with worry.

With fear.

"I don't give a fuck how a hero should speak. I just know how one should act. Now stop hovering around her fucking door before the coroner comes to haul your ass out of here."

"You talk as if she is yours." The man seemingly unphased by Bakugou's most deadly tone.

"So what if she is fucking mine?" Some how an even deadly tone slips out, more violent explosions appear on his skin as he steps into the hall. This time the man swallows thickly, eyes darting as if torn.

Torn between the love he has for you and the hatred he has for this Ground Zero who had his meat head paws sullen your angelic skin. He turns on his heel without a word as he makes his way for the stairwell.

Your heart thuds in your chest as Bakugou returns.

"Your cup." He growls, giving you a pointed look as he sets it on the coffee table.

"T..th.." You clear your throat, "Thank you Bakugou."

He watches from his end of the couch with his head in his hand before hissing out.

"The sooner you pick a movie. The sooner you can get the fuck out."

Bakugou speaks to you like this all time.

So why does it feel like he took a knife to your chest just now. As if he pushed it hilt deep, your breathing hitches. Still you nod as you flip through some channels before finding an old movie from your childhood.

One you used to watch with your grandmother. Comfort slowly fills your chest and you relax into the couch.

That is until you hear thumping, stomping feet and an obnoxious amount of noise before drunken laughing rings out.

You shake without realizing it as if you were a dog hiding in a corner, so unused to people and your master was throwing a party on the forth of July.

Your movement catches blood red eyes. Deft eyes that know that your movements are from fear, yet he still pulls the comforter off of the bed.

"Wha..what are you...?"

"You're cold dumbass." He growls, pulling you onto the cushion next to him fluffing the blanket for the two of you. He pulls it to your shoulders and tucks it this way and that so it does not move before he covers his lap. Resting his jaw onto a bored hand.

You stare, astounded as you look at this much more complicated man than you thought before his eyes dart to you out of the corner of his eye.

"Movie is that way baka." Before a mischievously cocky smirk pulls at his lips, "That is unless you cant keep your eyes off of me in all my glory."

Your cheeks flush before you HMPH as loud as and as dramatic as you can

"Fucking as if!" You hiss. Crossing your arms as you go back to the movie.

With each passing of familiar scene exhaustion begins to weigh heavy on your body.

Your eye lids especially, reminding you of how heavy your head is. You slump, uncaring of your posture as you lean your head against a sculpted but surprisingly soft shoulder.

Bakugou glares at you, quickly slowing his irritated OI! that was clawing up his throat when he sees how relaxed you look.

How *cute* you look. Tucking your feet and really snuggling into him feigning watching the movie as you fight sleep. He sighs, admitting defeat that somethings he cannot fight. Deku's words ring in his head before he bares his teeth.

*"...Shes had a long day."*

And it shows as you fall victim to sleep a lot faster than he thought you would. He leaves you for the remainder of the movie before gently scooping you up, your protest with a groan while your arms give you away. Wrapping tightly around him causing his heart to beat irraticlly, especially so when you nuzzle into his neck with a smile.

He brings you to the bed, comforter and all, lying you down gently. He figured the two of you could switch rooms or at the very least he could take the couch but there was just one little problem.

You wouldn't fucking let go. Even as strong arms pushed against yours you wouldn't budge. He is about to use lethal force until a subtle glow settles over his arms and your hands. Your eyes flutter open just a bit and when he meets them he feels as if his heart was ripped out of his chest. An odd weight settles in his stomach as he drinks you in.

Your eyes are so...so sad looking, as tears begin to well in them even in your mostly asleep state, your plump lips pulled southward in an undying frown.

"Stay." You whisper so lowly he could barely hear you. He scoffs, opening his mouth to retort and tell you that you're half asleep and must be dreaming of an ex. That is until you repeat yourself to him. Voice cracking

"Please stay Katsuki."

His heart races as his cheeks BURN. No one has ever said his name so tenderly before. Sure he has had plenty of past lovers and one nightstands but not a soul has come close to the reaction he has had to your three word sentence.

And who is he to deny a woman in need? A strong woman that is clearly having a very rare, vulnerable moment. A moment she is trusting him with. You are trusting him with.

He sucks his teeth and even half asleep you know he is going to stay. You're more reassured by his decision as he keeps one hand on your bare skin at all times as he whispers complaints, fixing the blanket you are "hogging for kami's sake" as you fade in and out. All before that strong arm wraps around you and pulls your back to his chest.

You sigh, letting sleep fully blanket you as buttery sugar and spices lulls you into a deep sleep.

My loves as per your request @casterixe @ha-tep

@thenezuko

thenezuko tumblr wont let me tag you love :(

#bakugou x reader #bakugou x fem reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha bakugou #bnha katsuki #bnha kacchan #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha au #bnha imagine #bnha imagines

[ursoself-satisfying]

All Things Must Pass

this was a request!!! hes so young here wow

Joe Mazzello x F!Reader, sad/comfort fluff

A/N: i have so little time to write this was a struggle,,, i projected a lot onto this fic, using the language i use when im in a negative headspace n such so i hope it doesnt thro anyone off,,, i went thru a lot of what i felt then wrote that cus i deal w mental health issues n tried to portray what i go thru in a semi-accurate way but not one so specific its not readable u kno??? y'all that peep my references here tho get bonus points

Warnings: none rly,,, its kinda vague n sad like dealing w not discussing whats wrong n such,,,,, nothing bad tho,, not even any language wow!!! jk one language wh00ps

The warm mug in your hand didn’t improve your mood. The steam of the drink drifted up from the contents and swirled in intricate patterns near your face. You pursed your chapped lips and blinked your drying eyes. A feeling had been swelling in you for days, but you couldn’t quite identify it yet. With soft blankets curled around you and your body folded up on the couch, you pondered it again. This wasn’t an unfamiliar experience. It had been happening for years. The bite of the sharp night air bled through a crack in your draping covers and you shivered, conserving your heat by pulling further into yourself. Though familiar, this state you were in was anything but comfortable. Even if you really were comfortable like this, you wouldn’t have wanted to admit it.

The kitchen light was the only thing shining through the apartment. It wasn’t your apartment, no. This wave had to come crashing down on you when you were far from the safety of your home. This apartment was safe It belonged to your boyfriend and he made you feel safe, but he wasn’t there right now. It was just you and the sound of minuscule little droplets of rain pattering against the window. The street lights made the storm seem like a glitter against the glass, reflecting back the business of the night.

You couldn’t remember the last time you felt like this, but you had to remember it was ok not to be ok sometimes. “We naturally go through emotional highs and lows, everyone does,” she told you, “it doesn’t mean you’re broken if you feel bad- it means you're human.” ‘Remeber that,’ you'd thought, ‘remember it’s ok. You’re ok.’

Your drink smelled sweet and a little burnt. You breathed in the warmth wafting from it before slowly and cautiously tipping the cup to your lips. A hiss escaped your lips at the still scalding temperature colliding with your raw skin and you sighed. Your love of the cold weather had betrayed you and left you weak. The entire situation was stressful and tiring, and you’d cry if you could but for some horrible reason you just couldn’t.

Your mind struggled to focus on one thing at a time that had led to your current emotions but it mostly focused on the bad. Your mind was foggy and muddled and insisted on making a mental list of all the reasons your life was the absolute worst in this very moment. ‘Perhaps,’ you reasoned, ‘if I identify what's wrong, I can fix it.’

You were far from home. New York City was scary and big and loud and dirty and new to you. This was exciting and terrifying at the same time. You wanted to see everything, and Joe wanted to show it all to you, but of course, he still had work things and you were left alone. You only had so much time there and even less time with him. There was never any way you could have fit in every important place you wanted to see into the few precious hours you could share.

That led into your second reason, which was that you just desperately missed Joe. He hadn’t wanted to leave you alone,  but duty does call and he had to answer. “I love you, ok? I’m so sorry, I- I wish I could have planned for this but-”

“You couldn’t have known! It’s ok,” You’d smiled at him and he kissed you before he left. Every morning and every night and every time he had the chance, he kissed you. God, it gave you life. His face just seemed to fit into your so perfectly, like your hands were molded against his cheeks. You closed your eyes and could almost feel him there with you, his warmth keeping you sane, but when you opened your eyes, he was gone.

Maybe the third reason was that your relationship was fairly new and you were insecure in the commitment for a number of reasons- or maybe it’s just that the holiday season was upon you and that ‘seasonal depression’ was hitting you hard. There was so much to do, so much to not miss out on, and so little time to relax and actually enjoy this time of year. Joe hadn’t managed to decorate for anything yet and had actually planned to do so with you, but it didn’t look like you’d have the chance to now. There were no lights up anywhere, no festive knick-knacks up on the shelves, nothing.

‘Or maybe,’ you thought, ‘it’s not seasonal, it’s just me.’ This was a turning point and you were scared. Joe had never seen you in such a deep, naturally dark headspace before, and you had little explanation for it. There was no one thing you could blame for the way you felt. It was just- Everything. A vague yet overwhelming anxiety rolled through you that made your guts feel like they’d turned to sawdust and were swirling around inside you like you were the floor of some horrible workshop.

The lighter side of your mind spoke up, ‘Maybe that’s not such a bad comparison, I mean, you are a workshop, always tinkering, changing, evolving. You are a human bent on self-improvement. Recovery,’ the voice reminded, ‘is not linear.’

“But any step forward is a good step,” you said out loud.

“What’s that from?”

“Holy fuckin’ sh-!” Your entire body jolted violently at the surprise of the response and your drink sloshed over the sides of your mug, spilling all over your blanket. Thankfully, it was no longer hot. “God, what a- what a waste of a good cup of-” Your curses trailed off into angry murmurs and you stood before looking over at Joe standing in the entryway looking equally as startled.

He’d just come back from a meeting with a potential director for an upcoming film to be met with his girlfriend completely spaced out on the couch. She’d been sitting there for several minutes without knowing he’d come in. When he spoke and surprised her, he jumped nearly as much as she did. He went over to help her clean up the spilled drink with a soft, sorry expression. She’d already gotten up, though, and shuffled to the kitchen without really acknowledging him. Something about the situation made Joe feel sick and guilty. “I’m so sorry. I, uh,” he paused and breathed a laugh as he picked up a pillow slipping off the couch and looked at the form that had moved into the kitchen, placing the empty cup on the counter with a soft click of ceramic against marble.

His breath hitched and he forgot whatever it was he’d intended to say to her. She was cast in odd shadows from the lights of the streetlamps inside combatting with the yellow glow of from above the stove. The scene carried none of the normally blissfull air his lover had. It was sharp and contrasting, like the set of an old expressionist film. He thought she would look fit beside the likes of Nosferatu, her in her cloak of covers and tussled hair barely emerging from the makeshift hood that supported her neck. The way she’d cocooned herself reminded him of a lost child standing alone in the cold, one no passing stranger would stop to notice.

It was silent for a moment as the actor continued absorbing her aura. The cars driving about in the rain echoed through the building. The sounds of splashing through puddles and revving engines drifted by his ears. [Y/N] stared at the sink before slowly meeting her boyfriend’s gaze. They just looked at each other. Joe felt like he wasn’t even there though like she didn’t see him there. She stared through him with the same disassociated look she had when he’d walked in. His shoes suddenly became of great interest to him and dragged his attention from her to the grain of the floor. “I’m,” he gulped and raised his eyebrows in a mixture of guilt and concern, “I’m so sorry I couldn’t be here with you today.” He looked at her again and she finally seemed to notice him standing there.

His sad puppy dog eyes bore you down. You’d fallen so hard for them. Before you’d even learned his name, you knew him by his eyes. You forced yourself to process what he’d said and were quickly overcome with guilt of your own. “Oh- Oh, no! Joe,” you pleaded and sighed as you rushed to him with a sympathetic smile, “I’m sorry, I just, like, spaced out- I’m fine, it’s all fine.” You nodded lightly at him with a stretched smile and looked up at him with hands gently placed on his chest, holding tightly to the coat he’d yet to remove.

“I know you have to work and I could never-” You bit your lip as your mental search for words was shown through the frantic lines your eyes traced, “I never want to be an obstacle.” With a softened gaze, pleading for ease in the oddly uncomfortable situation, you continued, “I’m pretty sure I’m always gonna love you, and I’ll be here,” his mouth parted as you paused, “just for you. No matter how many dates you miss, as long as you’re doing your best.” A pitiful chuckle fell from your lips.

So early in your relationship, you weren’t sure when an appropriate time to address your current emotional state would present itself. Then again, is any time a good time to discuss something like this? You felt he deserved an explanation, at the very least, to ease him a bit from the stiff form he kept since he’d returned that night. ‘Where to begin’, you wondered. Before you could let another sad syllable drip from your clenched teeth, jaw tight in distracted thought, arms wrapped around you and a bristly cheek pressed against your own.

“This is weird.” He whispered, “Why are we weird right now?” The blankets around were nuzzled out of the way so he could bury his face in the crook of your neck. His nose pressed hard against your hot skin. You were unprepared for the contact. All you could focus on was his heavy breathing beside your ear, every exhale slipping down your back and making you shiver. Cautious hands danced up the back of his neck, barely touching the airs that stood on end from the undefinable energy surging between the two of you. Molding yourself to fit perfectly in the empty cavities of space left, you were flush against him, clinging to the back of his head and letting his arms shift under yours to support you.

“I’m bad right now.” Your voice was almost a whimper, choking you on it’s way out. It wasn’t even your voice, the words were breaths you let out at all once. Joe- You weren’t sure he understood, and you didn’t expect him to immediately. He has no context yet, no reference besides what you’d carefully revealed to him. It was never your intention to hide any of your traits or symptoms or past from him, or most anyone, really, but it wasn’t exactly a hot topic of conversation.

He’d remembered briefly her using the phrase ‘when I was bad’ once or twice when referring to her mental and emotional state, but she didn’t often talk about it. Either it was sensitive or simply private, but it was fine. He didn’t push. The last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable or drive her away. While respecting her privacy and her past, he still swelled with concern at the thought of not knowing. It was a loving kind of fear that filled his stomach when he’d imagined moments like this; moments where something was wrong, something was off and he was in the dark. He didn’t need a reason to love and support her, but he was unsure of how to help in the best way.

“Bad emotionally,” she started in barely a whisper, though it was louder than before, “not ‘bad’ like-” There was a hot huff of air with a small laugh behind it and [Y/N] sniffled, “not ‘bad’ like- like ‘I’ve been bad, officer’- not in a sexual way-” It was punctuated with a cottony laugh.

Joe shook his head softly and gave the girl in his arms a squeeze. His smile was wide, though she couldn’t see it. Her squeak made him laugh a little and he could feel the air around them suddenly lose about five pounds. It was easier to lift his shoulders in this new situation.

After a moment of breathing in sync, cars passing by, and rain beating rhythmically against the windows, the man broke the silence. “You don’t have to say anything-”

“You know I can’t do that, Joe.” He held onto her for a moment longer then pulled only his head back slightly to kiss her turned cheek while she was still in his embrace. In the warm kitchen light, the patterns of the blanket and the shadows of the passing headlight combined like brushstrokes on the scene and turned them into the likeness of a Klimt painting. Yellow cascading down their backs and an iconic arching connection made this art.

“If you’re bad, then let's make it better.” The words were pressed into her skin by his plush lips. Before pulling away, their hands found one another’s and gripped them tightly, like he was a rope and she was dangling over the ever looming pit of her past.

For the first time, she could feel a wetness pricking at her eyes. Without effort or dismay, she could cry. There were no sobs to accompany it, just silent streaming tears. She didn’t stop them for they were a gift. The damp streaks beneath each eye bent around her growing grin as she looked up at her lover through the filter of emotional release. Everything but the earthy brown around his pupils was a watery mess in her eyes. ‘God,’ she thought, ‘This- He is a good one. He is so- He is so beautiful.’

Joe could feel the pain in his chest as his heart shook, threatening to crack at the image of his love in such a fragile form. “Let’s just-” He could have claimed the rest of the sentence got stuck in his throat but the truth is there was nothing there to get stuck, nothing to follow what he’d started saying. “Is it ok if we just,” he took a deep breath, “be together? Would that- Would that help?”

“You already help. Being here helps.” Her voice was back now, though, physically, she didn’t look in any way improved.

Joe handled his girlfriend gently and urged her to the couch with him, pulling down onto his lap so they both laid on the piece of furniture long ways. Her bundled body blanketed his and he leaned back, letting her warm him. Struggling to slip off his coat as he kicked off his shoes, Joe also snaked his arm into a pocket to retrieve his phone. He pulled it out with a small noise of pride and held it out in front of him. “A little George Harrison makes everything better, right?” There was a sleepy hum of agreement and ‘My Sweet Lord’ played softly from the speaker of his device. He nestled into [Y/N]’s and closed his eyes. He held the phone in his hands, clasped together as his arms wrapped around the woman.

The ‘hallelujahs’ seemed in time with the weather outside as the couple drifted further from the present and into their own billowing comfort. The lights still were yellow outside, as they were inside, and the cars didn’t stop speeding through the puddles. Though you doubted the return of these feelings would stop, for now, you were content. Joe was there with you and it somehow, just his presence, made some of the sadness wash away. He was like a rain on your pity parade, saving you from any continued celebration of your own inabilities. Tomorrow, there might be explanations needed, but tonight you felt blessed. He was safe. He was warm. Your mind wasn’t racing and your eyes weren’t dry. This was better than anything you’d been feeling, anything swelling inside you the past few days. This wasn’t an unfamiliar experience, and you’d hoped it would never become one.

Glancing up at the man beneath you one last time, you smiled genuinely, bliss settling in your center, and you closed your eyes. George Harrison lulled you to sleep that night, and safely asleep you fell, holding tightly to Joe through it all, just as tightly as he held you.

#bohemian rhapsody #borhap #queen #bohrhap #she has a voice!!! #new blog #joe mazzello #john deacon #film #fanfic #undrafted #reader insert #mine #requests are open #joe mazzello x reader #requested #requests #fluff #sad #comfort #bad day #i projected a lot #i was feeling down too

[wanderingtycho]

In From the Heat, Chp. #1

Heyo! So if you’ve given a cursory glance to my page, you’ve probably noticed I’m infatuated with the Sansby pairing(though to be honest, I’m pretty much in love with Sans being shipped with anybody, its almost unhealthy how much I like his character. Almost.) Anyways, the particular idea of Sans and Grillby dating/developing a relationship stuck in my head, so I’ve been writing up a story about it for a couple months now. I write really slowly, alright? 

So this will be the first chapter of many, not sure how long it’ll end up being, knowing me probably somewhere between 10 or 100. If you’re as into this sorta thing as much as I am, be sure to eagerly anticipate more! 

(Note: This story will become NSFW at some point, eventually, cant just dole out the smutty bits right away now can I?) 

(Second Note: Despite the title of this story being “In From the Heat”, the concept of skeleton-heat will not be mentioned or implemented in any capacity, I apologize both for this disappointment and the fact I am rubbish at coming up with names for my stories.)  

Cheers, folks. :)

-Tycho

The clattering of chair legs skittering across his recently polished floors caused Grillby to sigh under his breath, the sound akin to a bonfire caught in a stiff breeze, adjusting his glasses and turning away from the line of taps to face his restaurant. The interior of the cozy dive was dimly illuminated by soft glowing bulbs overhead, given that the fire monster was used to lighting his establishment himself, paying extra for brighter fixtures seemed like a waste. At this time of night, or rather early morning, there were typically only two monsters to be found hanging around the bar. Grillby, naturally, and his self-proclaimed most loyal customer. 

Sans was facing away from Grillby with one arm resting against the bar-top, his other dedicated to causing the wooden furniture to dance and scuttle across the room, blue energy flowing off the skeletons fingers like turgid mist curling around the tables and chairs. It was a rather surreal sight, watching the beaten furnishings scuffle and tap about like they possessed life of their own, a trick Sans liked to show off to whatever patrons happened to still be conscious.

Grillby watched the display for a few moments, eyes smoldering slightly in amusement, clearing his throat loudly to draw Sans’ attention. The skeleton slowly turned his skull to look over his shoulder, lolling to the side and leering up at Grillby with an inebriated grin, pupils sputtering with an unstable blue aura.

“h-hey...hey grillbz! check it out! i can plllaay musssicl chrrairs alllll by mmmsrlrf!” Sans slurred excitedly, waving his hands in lurching gestures, causing the furniture to spin and dance with wilder gyration. Grillby repressed a chuckle and placed his hands on the bar, splaying his fingers and leaning closer to look down his nose at Sans, spectacles reflecting the beaming light set above their heads. 

“Sans...it’s quite late, shouldn’t you be heading home?” he asked, speaking in a cultivated genial tone, voice crackling ethereally. Sans made an inarticulately dismissive noise, swishing his hand like an orchestra conductor, slouching up against the bar and curling his free hand around a bottle. 

“psssh...nah, it aint...that late. only been like...what...ten hourrssh? ahm praa-tic-allyyy...teetotal ovah eer! whatre ya tryin ta get ridda me err somethin?” Sans asked with a dry, rasping laugh, tipping his skull back and downing the remainder of booze. Grillby furrowed what would be his brow and absently started wiping up spilt liquor, watching as Sans started nursing his empty bottle, merriment fading as the corners of his grin tilted dejectedly. Grillby rested his elbows on the bar and inclined his head slightly, flames sparking down the base of his neck as the fire monster masked his concern, eyes narrowing as Sans sank lower into his seat.

“Of course not, Sans. I’ve never needed to kick you out before...you always drag yourself away to see to Papyrus.” Grillby said casually, smiling assuredly to himself, mentioning Papyrus was a strategy he employed in encouraging Sans to cut himself off. Sure enough, the skeleton looked up sharply, face suddenly gaunt and chagrined. He groaned and slumped himself over the bar-top, mumbling something guttural and inaudible into his sleeve, Grillby leaned closer and raised an incendiary eyebrow.

“Hmmm? What was that, Sans?” he asked, carefully extracting the empty bottle from the skeletons grasp, gingerly mopping up some of the spilt beverage near his skull. Sans’ pupils dragged themselves to the fringe of his sockets, staring up at Grillby with a pensive light, a dreary sigh slipping out from between his teeth.

“ ...i said...i kinda...don wanna go home to paps right now...” Sans muttered, exhaling heavily through his absent nose, dropping his gaze and missing Grillby’s incredulous reaction. The fire monsters eyes widened behind his glasses, raising a hand to cover where his mouth would’ve been, his flame equivalent of hair writhing in surprise. Sans had never expressed anything but an utterly glowing affinity for his brother, even during the bleakest most introspective drunken monologues, he always firmly asserted that Papyrus was a bastion of encouragement and optimism to live with. Grillby pulled up a small stool he kept for short breaks between rushes, seating himself to reach eye level with Sans, intently observing his patrons strange mood.

“Well now, that’s...unexpected. Have there been any matters of contention between the two of you lately? I mean, aside from your well established aversion to doing laundry?” Grillby asked, smirking as best he could without lips, trying to set Sans at ease by gently needling his habit of leaving dirty socks wherever he went. Sans snickered half heartedly, pushing himself up on his elbows and raising his skull, looking furtively around the room seemingly in a direct effort to avoid meeting Grillby’s eyes. 

“nah...its nothin like that...me an paps are doin fine. its just...as much as i love the guy...hes always on my case for goin here.” Sans replied glumly, lurching backwards in his seat and straightening his spine as much as he could, haughtily placing one hand on his chest  and the other on his hip in a mocking semblance of the taller skeleton. “SANS! YOU SPEND FAR TOO MUCH TIME CONSUMING ALCOHOL AND ENGAGING IN THIS SO CALLED ‘PARTY HARD’ LIFESTYLE AT GRILLBY’S! YOU SHOULD FOCUS MORE ON YOUR CAREER, OR MORE ACCURATELY, YOUR DISMAL LACK OF ONE!” he imitated spiritedly, his normally subdued and quiet voice bizarrely dissonant to Papyrus’ bombast and perpetual righteous indignation. 

Grillby laughed aloud despite himself, he had to admit that even when drunk off his bones, Sans could pull off a pretty uncanny impression of his brothers mannerisms. Sans’ eyes seemed to brighten a bit, corners of his smile tugging up as he listened to the wispy chuckling, settling back down to his previous lack of posture. Grillby rested his chin atop his hands as he thought of an answer, most of the time simply listening to Sans’ venting set things right, though their conversations were rarely one sided. This was the first time Sans had conveyed any sort resentment towards Papyrus however, even as a fairly jovial parody, Grillby could tell Sans was genuinely vexed by his brothers attitude on the matter.  

“Papyrus is a fine lad, I can tell how important he is to you, and I get the impression the sentiment is mutual. He has an...obtuse way of expressing himself, always trying to improve aspects of his life, especially the things he cares deeply about. It’s a positive approach to have down here, pushing the hardest for the things you love the most, and that means you Sans.” Grillby said, trying to soothe Sans with pretty much what he already knew, Papyrus was his only family after all. Sans nodded a few times, placing his knuckles against his temple and rubbing in small circles, generating the grating sound of bone against bone. Most monsters found the noise irritating or even disconcerting, but Grillby had gotten used to hearing it years ago, understanding the habit as a comfort thing amongst skeletons.  

“yeah, yeah i know...i just wish hed gimme less flak over hangin around here as much as i do.” Sans said, sighing and drumming his fingers on the bar, setting his jaw and shaking his skull. “i mean, its not like i drink cause i got nothin better to do, ya know? if all i cared about was getting trashed, i could just do that in the damn shed. i come here for a lot more than that.” Sans grumbled, the furniture around the room starting to dance less gracefully and more aggressively, magic automatically mimicking his thoughts. The skeleton braced one hand on the empty stool to his right, gesturing his left hand exaggeratedly, attempting to demonstrate whatever belligerent point he was working towards.

Grillby laced his fingers together and waited patiently for Sans to calm down before interjecting, eyeing him somewhat worriedly as the skeletons eye socket flickered a brief blue glow. “he just...doesnt get it, ya know? this is the one place in this frigid little town where i can at least try and relax. i cant go a hundred and whatever percent like him all the time, i deserve to spend a few hours around monsters who can actually get a joke, whats wrong with that ya know?!” Sans asked, voice growing tenser and more defensive, rolling his pupils and throwing up his hands in exasperation. Grillby drew a breath and reached a hand towards him, trying to placate the one sided argument before it escalated any further, jumping slightly in his seat as the skeleton unexpectedly slammed a hand down unto the bar. “uurghh! sometimes i just wish he could appreciate what helps me get through the day, ya know?! hell, it isnt even about getting drunk or crackin puns, i wanna tell him off and say the real reason i spend so much time here is just to see y-” 

Sans’ frustrated tirade came to an abrupt halt as his jaw snapped shut, light draining from his sockets and the animated objects he controlled clattering to the floor, resounding silence prevailing over the bar. Grillby sat stunned, eyes wide behind his glasses, staring at Sans as the skeleton stared back breathlessly. He’d never seen Sans get that worked up, and what he had been saying...Grillby wasn’t even sure what to make of it. The fire monster leaned backwards in his seat and appraised Sans warily, the skeleton frozen mid rant and looking rather shell shocked, eye sockets empty save for the vague panicked quivering of his pupils. As the wordless tension between them stretched further, Grillby racking his brain for an appropriate way to broach the silence, until Sans cleared his throat and let out a thoroughly unconvincing laugh. “hahaha...heh...ahem, uhhhmmm...welp. i uh...pretty sure ive had enough. think ill skip last call and...uh yeah...ya know...” he trailed off weakly, rasping his fingers together nervously and lowering his skull, deliberately breaking eye contact and moving to climb down off his seat.  

Grillby blinked, sensing Sans’ embarrassment and feeling a twinge of empathy, placing a hand over his wrist to stop him from leaving. “Sans...I’m flattered this place means so much to you, and you shouldn't have to keep that a secret, I’m sure Papyrus would understand if you explained it to him. You should be honest with those closest to you, even if you’re unsure how they’ll react.” Grillby said softly, giving the skeletons hand a reassuring squeeze, smiling comfortingly despite Sans being half turned away. Sans didn't respond immediately, he seemed to be frozen in place again, only this time there was significantly more conflict evident in his features. As if making a definitive choice, he turned back to face Grillby without actually raising his gaze, letting out a genuine chuckle.

“heh...heh, ya know somethin grillbz? youre totally right...ya always are. guess its just a talent of yours, getting through this thick skull a mine. heheheh...well, id love to take off and let you close up, but i think im gonna have a problem walkin home.” Sans said, tone a confusing mixture of grateful and cryptic, Grillby raised a quizzical eyebrow and leaned a bit closer. 

“Oh? And why would that be? I’ve seen you manage while far drunker than this.” he said somewhat jokingly, unintentionally dropping his voice to a lower register, skepticism increasing as he noticed Sans’ mischievous grin stretch wider.

“true, unfortunately, when it comes to pedestrian type stuff...” he said, letting the sentence hang and allowing Grillby’s suspicion to mount further. There was a sudden, abrupt popping sound that broke the silence between them, Sans casually lifted something into view and laid it on the bar-top. Grillby blinked, nonplussed, before sighing heavily and hanging his head. Sans snickered and snapped his fingers comically, smiling ear to ear as Grillby picked up his detached leg in one hand, the skeletal limb slack with a fuzzy pink slipper hanging off the toes. “...turns out, i dont have a leg to stand on!” he concluded emphatically, slapping the bar-top and screwing his eyes shut as laughter wracked him, wheezing through his teeth as Grillby silently walked around the bar to stand in front of him. The fire monster slung Sans’ leg over one shoulder, tapping his forefinger against the bone as he waited for Sans’ pun induced fit to subside, staring down at the skeleton with a long suffering expression affixed to his vague features. 

“If nothing else, I appreciate that you didn't pull this stunt with any customers around. This might come as a shock, but most monsters are somewhat unsettled by your ability to remove and reattach your ligaments at will, nullification tends to come across as ghastly rather than comically endearing.” Grillby said dryly, keeping his expression deadpan as Sans wiped away a bright blue tear from his cheekbone, mustering enough composure to lower himself to the floor and lean on his remaining leg. He looked up at Grillby with a self satisfied grin plastered across his face, the height difference between them doing little to change their dynamic, the fire monster unflappable and consummate to the skeletons persistent comedic antics.  

“aw come on grillbz, youre exaggeratin, monsters love that stuff. ive literally danced on my own skull before and everybody went dead quiet they were so impressed.” Sans said, chuckling as Grillby stared down at him impassively, holding out the length of bone for Sans to reattach. Sans raised a hand and wagged a finger, cocking an eyebrow and smirking up at Grillby, shaking his skull from side to side. “nu uh grillbz, im in no shape to put myself back together, guess youre gonna have to gimme a lift home.” Sans pushed the offered leg away and spread his arms, slumping against the stool at his back and grnning at Grillby expectantly, leading the bartender to sigh heavily and roll his eyes in resignation. He leaned down and wrapped his free arm around Sans’ torso, lifting the skeleton up and slinging him over his shoulder, grunting at the surprising amount of effort it took. Sans was unusually heavy for being made of nothing but bone, perhaps it had something to do with blue magic, or maybe he was just out of shape. Grillby worked his way around the chairs scattered haphazardly across the room, reaching the front door and trying to manipulate the handle with Sans’ leg still in his grasp, huffing exasperatedly and holding the limb in front of Sans’ inverted face. 

“Sans, would you please hold your leg so I can open the door?” he asked ruefully, holding Sans steady as the skeleton chuckled over his shoulder.

“sure thing grillbz, thisll gimme a real leg up.” he snarked, causing Grillby to run a hand down his face tiredly, holding back a snicker of his own as not to encourage any more leg based humor. The fire monster tugged open the door to his bar and stepped onto the streets of Snowdin, locking the latch behind him as he trudged out into the snow, pausing a moment to look around and take in the frigid morning. Snowdin was the textbook definition of a postcard town, his storefront gave the perfect view of the towering woods only yards away, swathes of snowflakes dancing and bouncing through the air as wind swept over the drifts. The neon glow of the sign above his head cast a solid orange aura over the snow at his feet, looking up at his own name emblazoned in such contrast to the quaint hamlet, Grillby wondered for the umpteenth time if it was a bit too...flashy for a place like Snowdin. Sans stirred under his arm, letting out a yawn and sniffing through his absent nose, absently picking bits of rock off the bottom of his slipper.

“thinkin bout your sign again, grillbz? im tellin ya, theres nothin wrong with it, everything else is way too dolled up in that holiday junk. yours has its own flair to it, its fitting, ya know? considering this place would have, like, zero nightlife without you.” Sans muttered, blinking and shaking his skull as an errant snowflake flew into his eye socket, Grillby chuckled and turned away from his bar to start walking up the street. Sans was always a staunch supporter of his business decisions, insisting that any doubts Grillby himself might have had were unfounded, the reassurances he gave so freely had been especially welcome when the bartender had first started out.

As Grillby crunched his way through the frost, the flames along his hands and head shuddered as chilling winds swirled around him, excited by the change in air temperature and oxygenation. Grillby sighed to himself as snowflakes melted before they could reach the surface of his body, steam steadily flowing off of him as the winter seemed to recede away, it was something he was used to at this point. Being a fire monster, Grillby had never experienced cold, the concept had just never factored into his life. Even living in Snowdin, where frigid snow and ice were a constant, he could walk about town and the adjacent wilderness in his normal attire without feeling so much as a shiver. Sometimes, watching his neighbors and customers wrapped in layers of coats struggling for warmth, Grillby wondered what it would be like to feel something other than pervasive and intrusive heat all of the time. With a start, he realized he’d almost walked straight past the skeleton house while he’d been daydreaming, shaking his head and internally chastising himself. What a way that would’ve been to end the night, blankly wandering into Waterfall with Sans passed out in his arms. 

Grillby approached the front porch and climbed unto the stoop with a huff, somewhat winded from lugging the skeleton slung over his shoulder across town, taking a moment to look up at the snowflakes twisting along the string of red and green lights draped over the large abode. Sans had been pretty quiet during the walk, somewhat surprising given how much he’d been drinking, Sans was anything but a meek drunk. Maybe he was just tired, Grillby could accept that easily, it was one of the things he and his best customer had in common. To that point, Grillby stifled a yawn and lifted Sans off his shoulder, beginning to lower him to the ground. “Alright, here we are Sans. Do try and get some rest, and please avoid losing track of any of your appendages again-” Grillby stopped mid-sentence as his head was suddenly jarred forward, nearly causing him to lose his balance. He looked down to see that as he’d been lowering him, Sans had wrapped his arms around his neck, leaving him hanging off the taller monster with only a half foot of space between their faces. 

“grillbz, wait...before ya go i...i got somethin i need to tell you.” Sans said, pupils zipping sluggishly yet erratically as he looked up at Grillby, voice strained with something the bartender hadn’t heard from him before. Nervousness, his grin wider and more anxious than normal, Grillby thought he might’ve seen a bead of sweat on his skull. Sans inhaled slowly and let out a shaky breath through his teeth, agitating the thin aura of steam curling around the flames of Grillby’s jaw, steeling himself and mustering the nerve to continue talking. “whew...okay, so...you and i have known each other a real long time, right? heh, probably feels a hell of a lot longer to me than it does to you.” he said, chuckling sadly to himself at a joke Grillby didn't fully understand, but the fire monster chose to stay silent and see where Sans was going with this. “look...im not perfect, got a mountain of problems hangin over my skull...hehehe, alright, that one wasnt on purpose. but seriously, im kinda a mess. dont take good care of myself, can barely hold down a job, and i keep it all buried deep...especially the worst stuff. undyne, alphys, asgore...even paps. i keep em all in the dark, smilin and jokin like nothins ever wrong...like im always okay.” Sans said, tone quiet and drained, barely above a whisper. Grillby could see a terrible weariness flicker within Sans’ eyes, and with half a thought of hesitation, placed his arms around Sans’ waist to hold him closer. He’d heard Sans talk like this before, many times the skeleton had confessed to just how much a façade he maintained day to day, still it wasn't easy for Grillby seeing him so forlorn. 

Sans’ sockets widened as he felt Grillby’s arms wrap around his body, his soul pulsed at the warmth spreading through their clothing and seeping into his bones, dispelling the insidious and doubtful cold that gripped him. Looking up at Grillby, seeing the open care and concern in his fiery visage, Sans couldn't help but continue despite his instincts to drop the subject entirely. “the truth is...theres really only one time i feel...i dunno...like the world isnt about to end for the millionth time. when im sittin in that bar, feelin relaxed and safe and free to say whatever i want...when im talkin to you.” Sans said softly, able to scrape together enough confidence to look Grillby in the eyes as he spoke, catching a flicker of conflicted surprise in the bartenders gaze. Grillby stared down at Sans, feeling a strange tactile sensation as the skeletons fingers brushed the base of his neck, physical contact with other monsters was a rarity already but this...was unlike anything he’d experienced before. Listening to Sans admit his feelings for him though, that elicited a more familiar stirring within his soul, a smoldering affection tinged with nostalgia. Their nerves grew more strained as silence dragged on, Grillby uncharacteristically at a loss for how to respond, leaving Sans’ emotional honesty faltering and desperation mounting. Just as Grillby drew a breath to speak, Sans tightened his grip around the fire monsters neck, tilting his skull and setting his jaw determinedly. “screw it.” he muttered, pulling himself up and pressing his face against Grillby’s, two lipless mouths rasping together in some approximation of a kiss. 

Sans shut his eye sockets briefly and sighed as flames traced between and over his teeth, drinking in a heat and energy so much more alive than his own, his soul sparking joyously in reaction. Grillby’s eyes widened and words died in his throat, his flames shuddering at the chilling touch of bone, a fiercely draining yet exhilarating sensation racing into his soul. This...this must be what cold felt like, so utterly apart from what Grillby had always known, he likely would have been more fascinated than shocked if it weren't for Sans’ teeth locked into his mouth. As Grillby’s mind spun and soul shivered with a plethora of tumultuous emotions, Sans broke the kiss and opened his sockets again, looking at Grillby with a more genuine and assured smile than the skeleton had showed in quite a long time. “i..uh, i love you. a lot and uh, wow, that was...yeah. hehehe, welp...” he chuckled, trailing off as he let go of Grillby’s neck and dropped down onto the doormat, somehow managing to reattach his leg before landing heavily on his feet. Sans tugged open the door to his home and stepped inside the darkened entryway, looking up at Grillby with a strange light dancing in his pupils, caught between buzzing elation and anxious disbelief. “gnight grillbz, thanks for the lift home.” with that, the skeleton shut the door and left the bartender standing stock still on the porch, arms loose at his sides and brain still reeling. 

After a few moments, he heard the muffled yet still distinctively loud sound of Papyrus’ voice, likely chastising Sans for getting home so late. It went silent about a minute later, and Grillby spent a long while after staring at the door of the skeleton household, replaying what had just happened again and again. Eventually, he turned around and began shuffling back down the street, still deep in thought as he turned the key into the lock of his bar. Before walking in and setting about cleaning up for tomorrow, Grillby paused and focused on the icy wind swirling around him, watching as snowflakes twisted along the tongues of flame on his hands. He thought about Sans, and that warmth sapping invigorating cold pulsed out from his soul, sending a shiver throughout his body. Grillby shook his head, confusion and curiosity besetting him at these alien sensations, stepping dazedly into his establishment and locking out the frigid night behind him. 

#fan fiction #fan fic writing #undertale #shipping #sans the skeleton #sansby #grillby #drunk confessions #comfort #fluff

[the-final-world]

64 Questions I love these things 1. if you could have one superpower, what would it be that one tumblr post about Bethesda glitches 2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? 1?? The dark is ok as long as you don't hear some witchy shit then it's not ok 3. The person you would never want to meet? What 4. What is your favourite word? I dunno??? Apathy comes to mind 5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? I took a test and it said I'd be a willow tree so that 6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? "Why does my hair stand up like that, it looks like it has an election... Hairection" 7. What shirt are you wearing? My trademark tank top which I love 8. What do you label yourself as? ロスト コズ 9. Bright room or dark room? Dark room because the sun reflects on my screen and I can't see shit if it's bright 10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Playing danganronpa 11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? Literally none I've craved death ever since I was little 12. Who told you they loved you last? Oh 13. Your worst enemy? If I cared about keeping an enemy I'd say almost everyone but honestly having an enemy is a waste of time 14. What is your current background picture? Karamatsu 15. Do you like someone? I am incapable of romantic feelings without getting bored in two weeks 16. The last song you listened to? Afraid- the neighbourhood ️ 17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. who would you blow up? Boring 18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? Boring 19. If anyone could be your servant for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? ;) 20. What is your best physical attribute? I haven't taken care of myself for months I have no attributes 21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? You know damn well what I'd do Also grow a beard Beards are great 22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? I'm not talented 23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Cannibals 24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Spinach feta spinach feta Idk what it's called 25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? A hundred dollars doesnt go far and idk I'd probably see if I can find the owner first It could be a little kids birthday money or something dude 26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? I'd give it to someone else tbh I wanna go to Japan and Canada and England but I want the satisfaction of knowing I worked for it 27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the beverage of your choice Iced coffee Or I could get somethin really fancy, sell it for a decent price, and use the money to buy stuff for the families in need around here? I know a few people and they could really use it! Altho I haven't talked to them since late December 28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Don't hurt the fucking animals or you get the exact same treatment cunt 29. What is your favourite swear word? Fuck dude I use fuck and cunt alot? Those I guess 30. Your house is on fire! You have just enough time to run in there and grab one inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing fire? Id panic and while deciding once I get into the house, burn alive bc Im an idiot Actually I have a secret chest with all these really treasured objects people have given me so that 31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? As much as I'd love to Ive learnt from every experience and if I were to erase them I'd be bound to make the same mistake so pass 32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has superpowers. But check out this cool fact… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Do I get to take my cats and family if so England 33. The celestial gates of beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend / family member / person / etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? I'd prolly thank the dude but I'd pass, it just seems really fucked up to bring someone back Just like cloning??? Messed up shit 34. What was your last dream about? Nightmare I'm not willing to share but I did have a dream about pizza before so 35. Are you a good… singer? No 36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? Yes 37. Have you ever built a snowman? I've never even seen snow 38. What is the color of your socks? I don't have any 39. What type of music do you like? Angsty music 40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? I love both 41. What is your favorite milkshake? C h o c o l a Te thiccshake 42. What football / soccer team do you support? No 43. Do you have any birthmarks No 44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I'm a dropout dude 45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Already changed it my man 46. Are you reliable? No 47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would you ask? Wyd ho 48. Do you hold grudges? Lil old me??? Yes I can't even help it, it is ingrained 49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? No what the fuck Lobster man 50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? When I was little this girl told me a praying mantis tried to have sex w her and I had a horrible dream about it 51. Are you a good liar? I wish I was 52. How long could you go without talking? I live almost secluded and I have no physical friends Guess 53. What has been your worst haircut / style? Long hair 54. Have you ever baked your own cake? I want to say yes but this is definitely fucking slang for some shit 55. Can you do any accents other than your own? No 56. What do you like on your toast? Nutella? Jam? Idfk? 57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? I posted it not long ago 58. What would be your dream car? One that drives 59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? I just think 60. Do you believe in aliens? Who tf doesnt 61. Do you often read your horoscope? No 62. What is your favourite letter of the alphabet? Y 63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs I love dinosaurs I've always loved dinosaurs even before I could walk Dinosaurs have always been a thing w me 64. What do you think about babies? I hate them and I hatew people who shove them in my face leave me alone But that isn't an excuse to be mean to a baby or child directly tagging??? Who wants to do this tho

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