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#I wish they would have gone with the full production make up here

hannieehaee · 5 months

Text

NO SONG WITHOUT YOU (teaser)

18+ / mdi

summary: with zero experience or interest in the romantic aspect of his life, jihoon finds himself in an unexpected situation when his company decides on a collab between the two of you, not expecting the work-addicted producer to develop a bit of a crush on you.

content: idol!jihoon x idol!reader, afab reader, pining, jihoon's emotionally constipated, jihoon's pov, some angst, misunderstandings, kinda inexperienced jihoon, smut, dry humping, oral (m receiving), penetrative sex, etc.

(^ no actual content warnings in the teaser)

wc: 782 in this teaser; 10k+ in the final ver

release date: 12/7/23

update: FULL FIC HERE

a/n: so happy to have finally written a long fic for jihoon!! he's one of my biases so i had a lot of fun writing him :D hope u guys enjoy the final product <3

masterlist

Jihoon was tired.

Beyond tired, actually. He couldn't remember the last time he'd left his studio at a reasonable time. He knew people on twitter made jokes about him being a bit of a hermit, with fans being able to spot his studio from outside the building, lights always on and indicating the producer was still inside.

He didn't have much of a valid excuse for this, other than being a 'workaholic', or at least that's the term Joshua had recently introduced him to, describing him as the prime example. Jihoon just couldn't help himself. He'd been like this ever since he could remember. If he had an idea, he had to work on it. And unfortunately for him, he was always full of new ideas. If Seventeen was releasing an album, that meant Jihoon already had enough material to fill up the next three albums backed up in a file somewhere in his computer.

Despite always having music prepared months in advance, - even having solo music up for grabs for whichever member desired it - he still found himself constantly working. It's not like anyone demanded this out of him either. It was quite the opposite, actually. From staff, to other producers, to members and even family, everyone always insisted that he took a break, maybe leave producing aside for a month or two. This was inconceivable to him, it was something that was simply out of his comfort zone.

The truth was, Jihoon felt lost. Any time he strayed away from work in some way or other, he didn't know what to do with himself. He felt like a failure in many other aspects of his life. Granted, he was a successful idol and producer, talented in every area necessary in his field, but past that, what did he really have to offer? He'd been stuck in a rut for a few years now. He had his members, his family, maybe some staff, but his social life didn't go much past that. He didn't have many hobbies outside of work either. Sure, he was avid when exercising, even being an overachiever in that area, but that was also kind of part of his job. He knew he needed to step out of his comfort zone at some point and live his life, but he kept making excuses for himself. He was 26 now, and was, quite frankly, beginning to lose hope in certain areas of his life due to his career - although blaming his career was just an excuse, really - the romantic aspect of his life being one of them.

Jihoon had some experience, okay? It wasn't like he'd never liked a girl before. He'd had a few crushes in elementary, maybe even some up until high school. He'd kissed one of the female trainees back when Pledis was a smaller company (okay, it might've been on a dare, but to Jihoon it counted). A few years after debuting he'd even gone on a few dates with a former staff member from his company. He'd lost his virginity to that same girl, kind of rushing into it due to feeling pressured to just get it over with - something he didn't exactly regret, but wished had been more of a memorable moment. The point was, Jihoon had had a few romantic experiences in his past 26 years on this earth. But, he hadn't ever even gotten close to find that one great love he'd hoped he one day would. For someone who received constant accolades for his lyricism, he was never really able to relate to his own music. He'd never been heartbroken, never had an insane need for someone, never felt romantic love, never been in the throes of passion with a beautiful girl, even. It was all his imagination. His lyrics, that is. And maybe the rest, if he was being honest. He'd dreamt about it lately; the perfect girl who he'd find and sweep off her feet. But that was all it was, a dream.

So, Jihoon was tired. Tired of hauling himself up in his studio to make himself feel something. But that was where he now found himself; stuck and in a rut, hoping for something more.

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animesmolbean · 24 days

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Guardian of Light

Author's Note: Welcome to Part 1 of my Dune story!

The chapters for this story will be longer than the chapters for my Wonka story because there's a lot of story and plot to cover for not only Dune but Kingdom Hearts as well. Because of this, the updates for the story will take longer than my Wonka chapter updates did.

Reminder: This is the female reader verison. The male reader version will be posted tomorrow. This will be how it works.

One more thing about the story is that it'll mostly be the same, no matter if it's the female or the male verison. But there will be some differences and changes depending on if it's the female or the male; especially when it comes to the romance.

With all of that said...

Hope you enjoy the first chapter!! ♥️

〰️

Dreams are messages from the deep.

“My planet, Arrakis, is so beautiful when the sun is low. Rolling over the sands… You can see spice in the air. At nightfall, the spice harvesters land.

The outsiders and their army of demons race against time to avoid the heat of the day. They ravaged our lands in front of our eyes. Their cruelty to my people is all I've known.

These outsiders, The Harkonnens, came long before I was born. But their demon army only came recently with them.

By controlling the spice production, they become obscenely rich. Richer than the Emperor himself.

Our warriors couldn't free Arrakis from the Harkonnens or the demons that lurk in the shadows, but one day, by the imperial decree, they were gone.

Why did the Emperor choose this path? And who will our next oppressors be?”

Chapter 1: Accepting a Deal

Year 10191

CALADAN, Homeworld of House Atreides

“I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real… or not?”

A (straight/curly/wavy) (hair color) girl slowly woke up. The soft glow from her light of her room, ridding her of any feeling of sleep.

She sat up, running her fingers through her hair. She looked around, seeing the familiar room she was given when she was a kid.

“It was… just a dream.” She whispered.

〰️

Meanwhile, a young boy was lying on a bed, shirtless, half awake and half asleep as he dreamed. He was dreaming about a certain (hair color) haired girl. His beautiful best friend, the girl who is always the light of his life, (Your Name).

Though, there was someone else with her, another girl that wore the same outfit as (Your Name). The boy didn't know who this was, he could only see the side of her face.

The boy's hazel green eyes opened, groaning softly, sitting up as the light shined against his shirtless form.

〰️

The same young boy was now at a dining table, in deep thought as he ate his food.

“It's good you're up early. I just wish (Your Name) could be too.” An older woman spoke at the end of the table.

〰️

(Your Name) stood outside, in a loose gray long sleeve, baggy black Capri pants and her boots were off, placed by a rock.

She dipped her feet into the large, cool body of water, walking until the water was halfway to her calves. She looked out towards the horizon, in deep thought.

〰️

“Father wants you both in full dress before the Emperor's Herald arrives.”

The brunet boy raised his head up at this news, “Full dress? Military?”

“Ceremony.” Jessica, the woman's name and his mother replied.

Paul hummed before nodding his head, “Thank you.”

The doors to the room suddenly opened, making the two at the dining table turn to it. Paul's lips lifted up into a smile at who was standing there. (Your Name).

“Ah…” (Your Name) chuckled awkwardly. “So sorry I'm late.” The girl walked over to the spot between Paul and Jessica.

“Nice to see you here (Your Name). And with shoes on this time.” Jessica lightly teased her daughter-like figure, knowing that this girl would be the future for Paul and House Atreides.

(Your Name) chuckled shyly, playing with the silver charm on her silver necklace; shaped like a small crown. She smiled back then looked over to her best friend who was already staring at her. Before she sat down, she greeted Paul with a kiss on his temple. The male smiled softly at her.

Once (Your Name) was seated, Jessica went back to conversation, “If you want me it, make me give it to you. Use the Voice.”

The (hair color) haired girl only guessed that Jessica wanted Paul to use the voice to bring him water.

“Mom, I just woke up.” Paul protested in a gruffy, morning voice.

Jessica just stared at her son, making Paul roll his eyes. He turned his body in the chair to use the voice, “Give me the water.”

It came out more like a raspy whisper.

(Your Name) let out a snicker. “The glass can't hear you. Say it to your mother.” She whispered.

Paul gave the girl a look before looking back at his mother. He stared at her, and his lips moved.

“Give me the water.”

The voice came out gruffier and a bit distorted. But it did its magic. Jessica took the glass and pushed it towards Paul a little. But as quickly she was under the spell, she quickly snapped out of it.

“Almost.”

“Almost?”

“Bene Gesserit skills take years to learn Paul. Jessica told her son.

(Your Name) nodded. Even though she wasn't being taught to use the Bene Gesserit, she understood its complexity and why it's important to master.

Jessica observed her son before speaking again. “You look tired. More dreams?”

(Your Name) raised an eyebrow in confusion. She looked at her friend with worry. ‘Has he been dreaming too?’ She thought to herself.

Paul shook his head muttering, “No.” Then he went back to eating.

“What about you (Your Name)? Have you been dreaming?” Jessica asked.

The girl looked down at her food, before muttering, “No.”

〰️

“Extreme temperatures and treacherous weather events make life outside the cities of Arrakis truly hostile.” A robotic voice came from a recording that laid on the ground and showed visuals of what they were talking about.

Paul had a book in his hands about the Fremen, reading it as his back leaned against (Your Name)’s torso. The girl was in a kneeling position, her arms were wrapped around his neck, forearms resting on top of his shoulders. Her head was on top of Paul's, silently reading along with him, occasionally nuzzling her nose into the boy's curly hair.

“With sandworms powerful enough to cut through metal. Only the native tribes known as the Freman and one other special person, that hasn't been seen nor born for centuries known as the Haris Aldaw’ have adapted well enough to survive.”

(Your Name)’s attention snapped hearing the last sentence. She moved her head off of Paul’s. She has heard that name before.

Paul turned his head to look at the (hair color) haired girl, his hazel green eyes showing worry. “(Your Name), are you okay?”

She blinked before nodding. “Yeah. Don't worry, I'm alright.”

Paul let one of his hands go from holding the book, grabbing one of (Your Name)’s hands, giving it a gentle squeeze. (Your Name) welcomed the comforting pressure and did it back to him. But to her surprise, Paul pressed a kiss to the back of her hand.

The (Hair Color) haired girl felt a blush blossom onto her cheeks at the gesture. Now flustered, she looked away shyly. “Get back to reading.” She grumbled.

Paul smirked to himself and continued reading, knowing the effect he has over his friend.

“Preferring to inhabit the remotest regions of Arrakis the Freman share the deep desert with the giant sandworms, known to the Fremen as Shai-Hulud. Long exposure to spice has given the tribe their characteristic blue eyes, the eyes of Ibad.”

‘I wonder if it's as blue as my eyes.’ (Your Name) thought to herself.

“Little else is known of the Freman except that they have some sort of power that controls the Earth and the Freman are dangerous and unreliable. On the other hand, much is known about the Haris Aldaw’. They are known to control elements and have other magical abilities such as being able to glide.”

(Your Name) bit her bottom lip. ‘My dream last night was about gliding… and falling.’ She thought to herself again.

“Freman Attacks make spice harvesting extremely hazardous. For the Freman spice is the sacred hallucinogen which preserves life and brings enormous health benefits. For the imperium the spice is used by the navigators of the spacing guild to find safe paths between the stars. Without spice, interstellar travel is impossible, making it by far the most valuable substance in the universe.” The voice recording concluded.

〰️

(Your Name) and Paul were now dressed nicely for the ceremony, both dressed similarly; since (Your Name) prefers men’s clothes for mobility. There were rare occasions where she dressed like Lady Jessica but only for very special occasions. The two for them stood close to each other as they waited.

After a few more seconds, a giant oval shaped ship landed on the ground. The ramp was placed down as the important people walked out from it. Them wearing their house clothes and walking respectfully.

“Smile Gurney.” The Duke spoke up jokingly to his trusted member.

“I am smiling.” Gurney replied monotonously, a blank expression on his face.

(Your Name) bit her bottom lip to suppress a snicker from escaping her lips. Paul looked at her in mild amusement.

The Duke shook his head, “How much will it cost them traveling all this way for this formality?”

“Three Guild navigators and a total of 1,460,062 Solaris for this round trip.” Another trusted advisor answered beside the Duke.

(Your Name) watched as a member of the group that arrived from the ship bow to the Duke, “By the grave of Shaddam IV of the House Corrino, Ascendant to the Golden Lion Throne of Padishah Emperor of the Known Universe, I stand before you as Heraid of the Change. We are witnessed by members of the Imperial Court, representatives of the Spacing Guild, and a sister of the Bene Gesserit. The Emperor has spoken.” The member pulled out a scroll, unrolling it as he read, “House Atreides shall immediately take control of Arrakis and serve as its steward.” The member closed the scroll. Do you accept?

The Duke took a big step forward, nearing the stairs, “We are House Atreides. There is no call we do not answer. There is no faith that we betray. The Emperor asks us to bring peace to Arrakis! House Atreides accepts!”

“Atreides! Atreides! Atreides!” The crowd in House Atreides started chanting as the Duke made his way down the stairs to sign the paper.

Before he does, the Duke looks back at his son and daughter-like figure, seeing them both giving him a subtle nod in agreement, silently approving him.

After the deal is completed, (Your Name) scooted closer to Paul, brushing the back of her hand against his. Paul feels the touch and does it back. Then, the two pressed the back of their hands together. They link their pinkies, putting their hands behind their backs, out of sight from everyone.

The two felt more contempt now, knowing that they could feel safe with each other.

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meshlasolus · 3 months

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The Winner Takes It All

Episode 1

Pairing: Finnick Odair x Tribute(OC)!Reader

Chapter Warnings: The Hunger Games reaping. Canon typical angst. Reader has a speech impediment.

Chapter Summary: Lukas Artanhour is your best friend since childhood who makes the worst decision of his life when he volunteers as tribute for the 71st annual hunger games... Luckily, he won't be going alone, and you didn't even have to volunteer.

Word Count: 2.8k

Don't be detered by the OC in this chapter, he is just someone I made up to make the hunger games more emotional of an event 🙃

The representative from the Capitol being the same every year was almost a comforting sort of repetition through the years, but compared to the annual tradition it surrounded, you were hardly relaxed at seeing him make his dazzling appearance. A new outfit every year, made from the finest fabrics and silks that eight had to offer… And you wore the same green top and skirt. At least this year there were seashells.

“Good afternoon, District Four!” His shout of happiness was hardly felt by any who stood here in this gathering. “There’s nothing like being here, amongst the beautiful waters and sandy beaches.”

It’s cold and windy down by the docks, with the sand getting kicked up from time to time. District Four is one of the most beautiful places in all of Panem, and it’s known, as all districts are, for its main production to the Capitol. Fish.

The people here are wealthier than most in the districts, a close third in rank to both one and two, who reign supremely amongst the favorites. The Hunger Games have obviously played a serious part in all of that. Four being a career district meant that the Capitol goers were far more likely to invest. Careers are the favorites, no matter which district they come from.

The reaping is today, and you don’t want to think about it. It is why you arrive at your work station an hour before you need to be there. You’ve spent years of your life down here by the docks, whether it was waiting for your father’s boat to return, or your friend to bring you the boxes that needed to be loaded onto Capitol trucks. You’re a mover, it’s your job. It doesn’t pay well, because the real money is in fishing, but you wouldn’t dare go out on a boat.

“You’re early,” Lukas nearly spooks you, smiling after watching you jump from surprise. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“It’s r-reaping day. I couldn’t s-sleep.”

He was used to the skip and stutter of your words, un-phasing him as you spoke each one.

“I get it. My mom keeps hounding me about it. Every year I grow taller, stronger, she tells me I could win,” he sat down next to you in the sand, handing you a shell he found on his way here. “Another for the collection.”

“Thanks,” you took it gratefully, placing it in your pocket for safekeeping until later. You journeyed back to his previous words, what he meant by them. “Does your mother w-wish you’d gone through the career program?”

He shrugged, looking out into the sea, his mind just as full of indecent thoughts as yours.

“I’m not sure what she wants. Ever since dad died she’s just been… different.”

“My parents have s-said, if it ever gets t-too bad, you c-can always stay with us.”

He nods, his appreciation shown through a single sideways glance. He knows he has places to go, he knows that there are others that are willing to treat him as a son should be treated, but he wants his own mother to do it. He longs for the woman she once was, and hopes if he can make her proud enough, maybe she will be that way again.

“I’ll think about it,” he said, but he’d been saying that for the past year.

So far, you’d learned she’d been hitting him, been yelling and screaming about how he would never measure up to his father. You never saw these interactions of course, because if you had you may have broken down for him, your friend of eleven years. In school, he was the only one who would talk to you, the only person who ever gave a damn about the girl with the stutter. He defended you when they made fun of you left and right, for nearly everything they thought was wrong with you.

“You s-shouldn’t listen to her,” you shook your head, the waves crashing on the shoreline several yards down. It was the only thing that would remain peaceful about today, when later on two children would be hauled off and expected to fight or die. “She isn’t in her r-right mind anymore.”

“I know that.”

He agrees, he knows. He is well aware that her mind slipped maybe even before her husband died. She had been driving him to the long hours that he’d worked, and eventually made him work out on a ship during a storm. The boat sinking was just fan to the flame of her deteriorating mental state.

He picked up a rock from the sand a few feet over, standing up and tossing it to skip over the water before it began to wash on the shore. He gave you a hand to your feet, pulling you up until you were steady.

“Boat leaves in a few minutes, I’ll see you when we get back,” he said, turning on his heel in the sand. You nodded at him before he walked off, into the working hours of the day. You shouldn’t even be here for another hour. You know that they’ll be gone for two or more and you don’t need that long to prep the boxes. But you can’t sleep.

Lukas returned to the docks with a much better mindset. The water always made him feel serene. He came to land, lugging the giant nets tied together to keep the fish from falling out. Today’s catch was good as any other, and the songs the boys sang on board nearly made him forget everything else.

“Salmon are catching like crazy this time of year,” he muttered, meeting you halfway to help you untie the knots and start packing the boxes. “Thinking I might sneak one home if there’s extra. You probably can, too.”

“I’ll t-try. My pa could use s-something more to eat.”

He weeded through all the skimpy ones, pulling the biggest catches out first and laying them sideways in the boxes, filling the middles with ice before adding another layer. It was the same thing everyday, but he never tired of it. He was content to live the life of a district four fisherman, and he was good at it.

“How’s his arm doing?” He asked, since you’d brought up your father.

He’d broken it in a rigging accident about two months ago, and the slow healing process was not doing your family any favors. You’d been hungry several times, so obviously extreme measures had to be taken. You won’t think about that right now, though.

“Not any better, n-not any worse.” The fish box was nearly packed, but you paused to think for a moment. “Maybe I s-should try and catch. It pays a lot m-more, and we could use the money.”

He grabbed you by the shoulder and turned you to face him.

“You’d be scared to death. If your family needs some money, I can help out. It’s the least I can do when they offer me free lodging,” he half joked, completely serious in all aspects about the help with financial assistance.

“Lodging that y-you’ve never taken.”

“Listen, I’m happy to help if you need me to. Especially with your brother, now,” he mentioned, making you think about the sweet little sleeping face you’d passed by on the way out of your home. Your baby brother, born not a year ago. You hated the idea of him growing up hungry, or having to start work early in his life like you did.

“Well, t-thank you. I’ll think about it.”

He shook his head, seeing as how you quoted him from all the times your family offered him help before.

He waved you off when you finished stacking the prepared boxes onto your slab dolly, tilting it back and beginning to push it towards the truck that pulled in not too long ago. It was a steep climb, up the ramp from the docks and onto the street, but it made you quite strong over the years. That and all the heavy lifting, becoming easier with every twenty by thirty of fish.

Lukas would be taking off early today, as would most of the other boys of age. You would be heading home after loading this shipment as it were. You had to shower, had to clean up your hair and skin and make yourself presentable for the reaping.

You opened the back of the truck, tossing the boxes up one at a time, before climbing into it and stacking them neatly in one of the four corners. You always managed to obtain a single splinter from every shipment loaded, but luckily today’s wasn't too bad, you could probably dig it out with a small pin.

Later in the day, your mother gave you a solemn smile as you walked out the door, having just been readied and dressed in your best clothes. Even in a wealthier district, they still had mended holes in the bottom of your skirt. That’s the sad thing about every district. Even amongst the wealthier ones, there’s still poverty that simply cannot be helped. The Capitol's greed and thirst for luxury, needing every little thing that life has to offer at their beck and call. You can’t even imagine what it’s like in places like eight or twelve. Places where food is not the primary cultivation of the people.

It was light green, your outfit. It had white seashells on the waist of the top, and a few along the edge of the skirt as well. They hadn’t always been there, but you insisted they should be. You didn’t really have much else of a use for all the shells you stole from the sands of the shoreline. You hated wearing the same outfit to this single event every year. You hardly wore it any other time, which made a distaste for it grow every time it came out of your closet.

The way your mother did your hair was simple. A single french braid down the back of your head, tied off with a light green ribbon to match everything else. She watched how it fell a bit looser with every step you took, making your way across the streets and into the city’s center. It’s your last year, and having avoided every year before, you know you should feel a semblance of relief, but you don’t.

Your mother waits for the peacekeeper behind a stand to check your name off a list before she parts with you, hugging you tightly one last time and allowing you to kiss the head of the baby on her hip. He’s primarily the reason you remain so nervous. Even if your name doesn’t get called, his could be, someday.

You line up in an open space, next to the last girl that checked in. She wasn’t in your row last year, you would have remembered her. She was pretty, with blue eyes and dark raven hair. Her skin was tanned like most in four, but had a certain glow about it. She’s too pretty to be reaped, you thought. It didn’t make a difference, though. As you stared head on to the bowl on the stage, centered in front of the girl’s side, you got tense. Your name is in there six times this year. That’s three more than last year, and five more than the year before.

Someone could still volunteer. But the career program had not made mention of producing a female tribute this year. It all depended on the luck of today’s draw. For all you knew, your name would be surpassed by someone else. There were other poverty stricken areas in four besides yours, and it made sense that somebody else could have been hungry enough to outgo you.

You looked around to the boy's side. Lukas was there, and further up in the rows. He must have gotten here quickly after leaving the docks. His face was sullen, and something had changed, but you were unsure of what it was. When he looked around, you almost thought he’d been looking for somebody, but his expression told a far different story.

The last few children in the line were filing in, and the musical fanfare blasted through the speakers by the stage. You were grateful not to be so close to those this year.

His rabble was boring, and nearly the same as it was last time. The anticipation was killing just about every girl and boy in this crowd, knowing there were no careers at the ready this year. It was always easier to rest at night while knowing if your name was called, another courageous youngster would step in to take your place.

“I’m so excited to be back and reaping this year’s tributes for the 71st annual Hunger Games!”

There was a surge of excitement coming from the sidelines, and it was only now that you looked past the blockades to see that there were actual Capitol civilians standing there this year. How nice, some onlookers for when an innocent child gets sent away to their death. Absolutely wonderful. You looked on past them, towards the victors standing close by. They seemed anxious as well, the old woman holding one fist to her mouth while the other clutched her chest. She rocked back and forth on her heels, and had to take a step every few seconds to keep from becoming too restless. The young man was stiff, his arms behind his back and every muscle in his body tense as a board. His eyeline never left the bowls on the stage. They went through this once, too.

When you refocused on the man at the microphone, your heart beat rapidly. He was approaching the boy’s side of the stage.

After a small flourish of his hand, the Capitol rep stuck his hand into the glass, two papers in his hand before he dropped one. The dropped paper’s namesake got immensely lucky this year.

“Harley Miggsen,” he read the paper, but before the peacekeepers had a shot at cornering the poor fourteen year old kid, with his eyes wide in horror, another voice spoke up.

“I volunteer.”

Your head snapped to Lukas, his hand raised high in the air. Murmurs started almost immediately about how everyone thought there weren’t any careers prepared. They spoke softly and wondered if there would be a career for the girls, too. Lukas isn’t a career, why would he do this?

“I… guess we have a volunteer,” the man at the mic clapped his hand, watching the young man getting ushered up the stairs to stand beside him on the stage. “What’s your name, son?”

“Lukas Artanhour, sir.”

“Lukas Artanhour, everyone!” He raised his hand as to signal applause from the capitol guests, and they cheered, happy to see that there was now a potential victor as opposed to that poor boy from before. “Now for the ladies.”

You spared a glance at the victors once more, and they looked even more on edge for this pick than the last. Female victors were obviously more rare in every district, so getting a decent tribute that wouldn’t die right away was probably preferable. You couldn’t imagine all the people they’ve tried and failed to save over the years. The young man won only six years ago, but with no other victors since, that means he’s gone through twelve tributes. All dead, all gone.

Your mind had been momentarily distracted, or at least it had been until the next name came over the loudspeakers.

“Mercedes Blythe.”

It almost didn’t register.

It almost went in one ear and out the other.

It almost was paid no mind or attention…

But that is your name, and you’ve heard it said a million times since you were a baby. Not once did it ever sound like that, though.

You stood still until you realized there were peacekeepers on their way to grab you.

It was slow, the way you took steady steps from your row towards the stage. You couldn’t be rushed even if they tried to make you. You could only look at the ground. You didn’t want to chance looking up and seeing your mother past the blockades. God only knows what she’s thinking and feeling right now. After everything bad happens to a family, the mother of that family should not have to wonder whether her child will live or be killed in an arena.

You finally looked up when you got to the stairs, meeting Lukas’ eyes first, and seeing they were sad and full of pity. You stood beside the Capitol rep on the other side, allowing him to raise your hands together while the tears finally welled up in your eyes. The delay in your mind was the only one to blame for that.

“Ladies and gentlemen, district four’s tributes!”

Tags (open):

#finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair x oc #finnick odair hunger games #finnick x reader #sam claflin #the hunger games

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ivy-loves-chocolate · 11 months

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𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚢 𝙸 𝚜𝚊𝚒𝚍 𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P l o t ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon and the reader get separated after the events of the RE2 remake.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ I don't know where I'm going with this so bear with me lmao. I was thinking of turning this into a series, with some time skips to RE4, RE6, and so on. For now, I'm scheduling this for two chapters, but if you like it and want more I can extend the story. I don't write for Leon often, so please tell me if I did it right. Your feedback is really appreciated!

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon Kennedy x Reader;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨T a g s ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ fluff, angst, and a bit steamy at the end.

Ko-fi || Patreon

The train finally stopped at the end of the line after a long and silent ride. Claire and Sherry fell asleep on the bench while you spent the ride in Leon's arms. None of you talked about what happened; you were just happy to be alive.

When you reached your final stop, everyone was eager to exit the train to breathe the fresh air. The morning sun was too strong for your sensitive eyes, which got used to the darkness. Still, all of you were grateful for the warming sensation that caressed your sore bodies.

After a very long walk filled with Sherry's silly and funny questions, you managed to find a gas station. The cashier was weirdly watching all of you, and who could blame him? Everyone was dirty and bloody, with an expression of sorrow and regret on their faces. The only one who seemed relatively normal was Sherry, but maybe she was just good at hiding her pain.

All of you walked around the store under the judgmental eyes of the cashier, trying to find some affordable supplies.

"Do you have any money on you?" Leon was a bit concerned.

"Yeah, I think I can cover the water."

"Good."

A soft smile appeared on his face. It wasn't because of you; no, it was just a simple thing that made him happy. Still, that smile warmed you, and you wished you could've stayed and watched him a few seconds longer, just to make sure you'd never forget it.

"Shit, if I knew that we'd end up here, I would've robbed a few cash registers on the way," Leon said as he picked some sandwiches.

You giggled as you picked up some protein bars.

"That would've come in handy right now."

All of you placed the products on the counter and waited for the cashier to finish scanning. You watched anxiously as the sum increased, exceeding the number you had in your pockets. The total felt heavy, and everyone began to empty their pockets.

"It's all we have, sir." Claire said, after he counted the money and realized it was not enough. He gave you a long stare, but before he would say anything, Leon intervened.

"C'mon, man, we had a rough night."

"Please, mister," Sherry added.

The guy looked at all of them again and let them go.

"Now we need a ride." You said as you walked out.

A random man just came in and passed by you, ignoring your presence completely. He had his convertible outside, probably with a full tank.

"He won't notice it's missing," Claire said as she boldly approached the vehicle. "Sherry, keep an eye."

"Wait, what are you doing?" Leon asked, worried.

"What does it seem I'm doing? I'm getting us a ride."

"Claire no."

"Do you want to walk to the next city?" She asked, ready to hotwire the car.

"I don't know. No, of course not, but stealing is not okay."

You couldn't help but smile because of how cute Leon was at that moment. Even after he went through hell last night, he still maintained some of that rookie innocence.

"Guys, hurry; I think he is coming," Sherry said, alarmed.

"Come one." Leon scoffed as everyone got in the car. Before the man realized it, the car was long gone. His wallet was in there. Maybe luck was starting to be on your side.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　

Sadly, when you got to the nearest town, Claire had to go on her own to find her brother, Chris, leaving you, Leon, and Sherry in a hotel. She took the car but left you the cash and cards you found.

"Are you sure you want to do this on your own?" You were a bit concerned. After all, you three destroyed an Umbrella facility and survived the mess they created. That will backfire at some point.

"I'm sure. It's my brother; I've got to do this on my own." You hugged her and held her tight for a few seconds. Claire was an amazing person, and you didn't know if you were ever going to see her again.

"Take care," Leon said as he hugged her too. He didn't want her to go, but he couldn't force her to stay either. To be honest, he thought that all of you would stay together to figure out the next move. Claire's leave saddened him a little.

The most affected was Sherry. She glued herself tightly to Claire's body and hardly let go.

"Take care of them for me, ok?" She said it in a brittle voice.

Sherry nodded and joined you and Leon, watching Claire go in the car and drive far away in the distance.

.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　

Leon thought it would be best to have separate rooms, one for you and Sherry and one for him. He wanted some time alone to cope with everything that happened: the outbreak, the countless deaths, the loss of Ada, and Claire's departure. He didn't know about the destruction of Raccoon City yet.

Leon locked the door behind him and sighed. The room was modest, with orange and yellow tones, a small TV on a table in front of a queen-sized bed, a bathroom next to the entrance, and a cloth hanger. The first thing he did was close the curtains. He wasn't there for the view.

Leon knew he should get some rest, but the events of the previous night kept hunting his mind. The screams, the lies, the blood, and the monsters took their turn to torment the young rookie, who was fidgeting around the room.

Suddenly, a powerful smell hit him and almost made him puke. After a few sniffs, he realized he was the source of the reek, and hurried into the bathroom to take a hot shower. The warm water was a blessing on his beaten skin, and he lingered there hoping that the water would also wash away his memories and guilt. Sadly, it didn't have the desired effect, but at least he smelled nice.

Leon didn't have any clean clothes around but a white bathrobe. Feeling tired he lay on the bed trying to get some sleep. Frustration begins to build up the more he kept squirming in bed.

"God damn it," he said, but he wasn't ready to give up yet. He kept fidgeting until he found a comfortable decision, but his relief was short-lived when his mind started to play with him once more. He needed answers—lots of answers. Who was behind all of this? Why was Umbrella developing all those monsters? And most importantly, what happened to Raccoon City?

Defeated, he got up from the bed and went to the minibar to search for alcohol. A gentle knock on the door got his attention.

"Come in," he said, and a smile appeared on his face when he saw you standing in the doorframe, waiting for him to invite you inside. You wore a bathrobe too.

"Thanks," you said as you closed the door behind you. "How are you holding up?"

"I had better days," he confessed. "How's Sherry?"

"Well, we didn't talk much about what happened. We washed then we watched some cartoons. After that, she fell asleep. The kid was exhausted. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t…because of…” you paused, trying to ignore all the flashbacks that came to you.

“Yeah, I know…” Leon added gloomily.

“Anyway, I decided to check on you. Figured you weren’t sleeping.”

"How kind of you," he said while opening the small door of the fridge.

"They don't have any alcohol. I checked first thing when I came in the room."

"Damn it. Then why do they have it on the menu?"

You shrugged.

"Beats me. It’s what we get for the money we paid. I mean, the rooms are pretty cheap; it's not like we will get quality service." You said.

"Damn, and I really thought we'd get top services here. I really wanted a valet to park my Lamborghini."

"If a valet is an old security guard sleeping on duty, then you're halfway there."

"Yeah, all I need now is a Lambo."

You both laughed, but the moment lasted shortly, and Leon dragged himself to the bed, where he sat on the edge. Then he rested his head on his palms and sighed.

This drastic and sudden change in his demeanor scared you a little because you knew it was becoming harder and harder for him to hide his pain behind silly jokes. In front of you, there was a broken man who suffered terribly after what happened in Raccoon City and who was now carrying the burden of being one of the few survivors. You sat next to him, and you began to gently caress his back.

"Why did they allow this to happen? Why didn't I come sooner?" He said it in a brittle voice.

"If you came early, then you would've been long dead. And you wouldn't have met me, Claire, and Sherry."

"Yeah, but still..."

"Leon, there is nothing you could've done to prevent this. Please stop torturing yourself." You pressed your body against his and held him tight. One of your arms slid across his chest, while the other went over his back. Leon grabbed your hand and held it tightly.

"I'm sorry; I just don't wanna lose you too."

"Leon..."

He rose, and now you were on the same level. His blue eyes were staring at you, expressing both need and sorrow. He needed you to be there for him.

His palms fell to his knees, and your right hand was still in his gentle and warm grip. You raised your left arm, your delicate fingers brushing away some strands of blond hair from his forehead. Once you started to gently caress his temples with your fingertips, he closed his eyes and allowed himself to enjoy the pleasure that a gentle touch brought him after so many hours of hell.

"I'm here, Leon, and I'm not going anywhere."

"That sounds so good."

You locked eyes again. His grip tightened, and your palm was resting on his face now, your big thumb caressing his bruised cheek.

"Promise you'll be here for me too."

"Promise."

He closed the space between you, and soon your lips touched. It was a delicate, shy kiss in which you kept pressing your lips over and over onto each other. His hand let go of yours just to move to your waist and join the other one. You cupped his face and kept him close as the kiss became more and more passionate.

Tag list: @shadow-wolf510 @skylar-todd @lunarastrobabe @ravenrune @alewesker @rokurodokuro (if you want to be added dm me🤗).

Oh and on a small note, the next chapter will be steamy :)

#resident evil #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon x reader #resident evil 2 remake #rookie leon kennedy #leon kennedy x you #leon x you #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy angst #claire redfield

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0nlythrowharrybeaux · 1 year

Text

Birthday Kiss

A cute & fluffy friends to lovers story for Harry's birthday! lot's of tension brewing. Literally the feeling of when you're both too shy to make ✨the move✨. Sorry for any mistakes, I literally just threw this together!

Warnings: None? Some steamy kissing/making out, but no smut-smut.

WC: 4.6K words

It was just after midnight and the festivities hadn’t been luxe or extravagant like many people would have probably imagined for a star of his caliber, it had just been a small little thing organized by Jeff at a family friend’s Palm Springs home. But Harry really preferred it that way. When he was around his people he liked to feel a part of the bunch, not like the star of the show, as he normally was. It was interesting really because almost everyone at this little post-show celebration worked for him - not necessarily as his subordinates, but as the team who helped him seemingly conquer the world. And as a friend of his for several years now, Y/N thought it was quite beautiful that once he left the venue and the crowd was gone, the lights turned down and the ground was littered with glitter and endless stray feathers he wasn’t Harry Styles, world-famous pop star anymore, he was just plain old, Harry. His management and production team weren’t in work-mode anymore, they were just his friends, like she was and they loved him, like she did.

“Thank you guys, so much.” He smiled, all dimply and bashful, head bowed in gratitude but his eyes were scanning the faces of the roughly 15 people who were with him and had just finished singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to him. There was still a very soft cloud of smoke before him from the candles he had just blown out on the small cake in his hands. He set it down as a few of his bandmates, friends, and loved ones started to line up to give him a hug and offer their well wishes and she would wait her turn patiently to do the same, saving herself for last because it had been a while since they had even been in the same room.

Finally, Y/N was up next and Harry’s smile went a bit bigger for her. Harry always told her that she was his favorite, which she loved to hear because he was her favorite too. And as she approached him he opened his arms wide for her to fit herself against his chest and hug him tight as she pressed a kiss to his jaw, his cheek was a tad out of reach for her.

“Mmmm….” She hummed into their embrace, “Happy birthday, H.” She congratulated him as their faces pressed together while they hugged tight.

“Thank you, love. Thank you so much for coming out, I know you’re swamped.” He said lowly.

“Of course! I’m just sorry I won’t be able to make it tomorrow. Or well, tonight technically.” She said as they pulled away and looked into each other’s eyes. Her hands had slid down to his biceps and his were settled at the middle of her back.

“You’re here tonight! I’m just happy you were able to make it to one of the shows.” He said and she smiled at him.

“I am too, thank you for having me. You were amazing, as always…” she complimented and his cheeks went all pink as he smiled at the ground before their eyes met again.

“Really, thank you so much.” He said and she just hugged him again which he easily gave in to. After a moment of catching up they were joined by Shellie, Jeff’s mom, who started chatting with them both and then they scattered as he talked with others and she caught up with some mutual friends who she also hadn’t seen in a bit. But soon it was nearing 1am and Y/N had to go, she had a several hour drive back to LA and day full of depositions later on in the day.

She had started a new job at a rather prestigious law firm back in October and had been unusually busy with case prepping and depositions and paperwork and court appearances and just life during his LA residency and she hadn’t been able to make any of his shows in LA. So when he informed her about the Palm Springs additions in early December she made sure to request the day off to make it to one of them, it unfortunately couldn’t be the one on the actual day of his birthday but it was close enough.

“Well, I ought to hit the road…” Y/N said to Jeff who she had been chatting with for the last few minutes.

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay and head out in the morning?” He asked and she sighed.

“Can’t, I’ve got a deposition at 9:30 tomorrow…” she sighed and he grimaced.

“Oh man, I’m sorry.” He said and she shrugged.

“It is what it is…” she sighed through a chuckle and he chuckled along with her before hugging her.

She then proceeded to say her farewells to the people she knew from the group including Glenn and Jeff’s parent’s, and Harry’s mom too and politely hugged those who she had met for the first time tonight. Then she made her way over towards Harry, he was with Pauli, Ny, and Kris Jenner, of all people in the world, who animatedly told them some story that had the three of them in absolute stitches. Harry was quite literally clutching at his stomach as he gasped for air through his laughter. He was so beautiful when he laughed, it made her heart flip in funky ways and if she could she would watch this moment in replay. As soon as Harry saw her he reached his hand out to her despite his laughter and she grabbed it, allowing him to pull her over. It sent an electric current through her body, not knowing that touching her had the exact same effect on him.

“Oh my god, that was the wildest thing I’ve ever heard.” He said through bated breathing as he just pulled Y/N close.

“We were wild back in the day, just ask your mom.” Kris laughed to Harry and he shook his head.

“I don’t think I want to know about her adventures.” He laughed, inhaling deeply as he recovered then turned to Y/N, “This is Kris, by the way, I don’t think you’ve met?” He asked and Y/N shook her head as she looked from Harry to Kris.

“Not yet, I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” She said extending a hand and Kris pulled her in for a hug.

“We’re huggers here, Y/N. It’s lovely to meet you.” She said kindly as Y/N smiled at her as they pulled apart.

“Thank you. You too.” Y/N reciprocated her nicety with a sincere smile.

“Alright, well it was nice to chat with you all, but I’m going to go back to my crowd.” She said to them all as she came closer to Harry, “Happy birthday, sweetheart. You were fantastic out there.” She praised as they hugged, “I’m so proud of you.” She sprinkled in as they kissed cheeks and soon she was heading off.

“She’s the best.” Pauli chuckled and Harry grinned wide and nodded in agreement.

“Literally, never a dull moment with her around.” He assured as he draped his arm over Y/N’s shoulder, “Should we indulge in another slice of cake? We can share.” He said to her and she pouted a bit.

“It’d love to, but it’s time for me to retire.” She said and he frowned.

“At this hour? Gonna drive all the way now?” He asked in slight concern.

“Have to. I have to be at a deposition at 9:30.” She said to the group with an exasperated look and both Pauli and Ny grimaced in the same manner as Jeff had when she told him.

“I’m sorry.” Ny said.

“It’s work.” She shrugged, “Can’t live with it, can’t live without it.”

“Maybe you should just join the Love Band.” Pauli smiled and Y/N cackled.

“If you want to continue having successful tours, maybe not!” She joked.

“We don’t have to mic you…” He said and she giggled as they all chuckled.

“It was nice to see everyone though. You guys sounded great!” She said as Harry let her go so that she could hug his bandmates goodbye, “Bye-bye, birthday boy.” She said coming up to him with open arms and he hugged her, swaying them a few times, “Oh! That reminds me, I got you something! I’ll go get it real quick!” She said breaking their hug and he shook his head.

“It’s alright, I’ll walk you out.” He said.

“Oh no, it’s OK. I had to park down the street and-”

“More reason to not let you go alone. There’s coyotes out there.”

“It’s California, there’s coyotes everywhere.” She giggled.

“Whatever, I’ll be back in a few.” He said to Pauli and Ny-oh, “Guy’s I’m gonna walk Y/N to her car, I’ll be back in a bit!” He announced over the conversations happening and the group all called out farewells as she smiled and waved goodbye to everyone before they walked off towards the entrance of the house.

“Deposition at 9:30, huh?”

“Yeah…it’s a wrongful termination case…I don’t think our client was wrongfully terminated but whatever.” She said and he chuckled as they reached the door and made their way outside. The wind was blowing hard, making the night feel colder than it probably was as so he linked arms with her as they made their way out the door.

Harry wished she didn’t have to go tonight, with his work commitments they didn’t get to see each other all that much, but now that she had this crazy job as a defense attorney she was busy all the time and it made it even harder for them to hang out like they often did when he was in town. Harry had liked Y/N for a year or so now and on multiple occasions he had intended to tell her but would end up flaking out, he wasn’t sure if she liked him too or what? He had a hard time reading her and he didn’t want to risk ruining anything in their friendship.

“What’d they do?” He asked as they walked to the gate around around the property.

“Here’s the context, we deposed the other person involved a few days ago!” She said with excitement, “So he had tried to ask one of his co-workers out-”

“It had to be a ‘he’…” he interrupted and she giggled and nodded, “Makes us al look bad…” he mumbled and she giggled.

“Oh yeah he does! Well, the girl said no and he was insistent; like he would send her flowers and buy her things, that type of situation. So she’s creeped out and decided to file a harassment complaint with HR.” She explained as they made their way through the gate, “So they call him in and give him a warning, advise him to leave her alone and he get’s pissed that she involved HR. So he then has to do a sexual harassment training program and professionalism workshops, which he never went to, so again, HR sends him a notice. All the while, he continues to pursue the girl, telling her that the least she could do is go out with him because she ratted him out to HR.” She said and he scoffed, “I know. I would drop him if I could…so anyway, long-story-short, she blows him off again and he get’s so angry that he puts an air tag on her car and shows up at her house!”

“What the fuck?” Harry gasped.

“I know! Total nut job… so she calls the police because she feels unsafe and she starts an inquiry at work to see how he got a hold of that information as it’s not made public and as they dig through things they find out about the air tag while reviewing security footage and fire him on the spot. He’s arguing that company policy says 3 warnings and he only got 2 warnings and well, you know how those people are.” She said and he frowned as they continue walking.

“God…and you’re working the case?”

“Assisting. I don’t get to do cases alone yet.” She said quickly, “I wonder what he’s gonna say in his deposition tomorrow, I’m curious.” She said and he hummed.

“Well, just be careful, he’s clearly not well and I don’t know what I would do if he fixated on you and stalked you too.” He said shaking his head.

“After doing some digging on him I think I’ll be fine, I’m not his type.” She said and he hummed.

“Well still. You live alone and there’s a lot of crazies out there.”

“I am, H.” She said and he sighed.

“Better be.” He said lowly and she smiled at his concern.

“This is me.” She said as they stopped beside her sedan and she let go of his arm and unlocked her car, “Thank you again, for inviting me. I had a lot of fun.” She assured with a smile and he smiled as well.

“Thank you for driving all the way out here for me. I know it’s a long way and we didn’t even really get to spend time together or-”

“I’m just really happy I got to see you.” She said, “I missed you.” She admitted.

“I missed you too. And I know I haven’t been a great friend, I’ve been so busy and haven’t even reached out to catch up or talk and you came all this way for this like 5 minute conversation and I just feel bad.” He said and she shook her head.

“Oh my god, H… I understand and I mean, relationships are a two way street, H. I haven’t done that either, I’ve been so busy that I’ve neglected a lot of people the last few months and I didn’t want that to continue into this year.” She explained, “I don’t care about the drive or even if I didn’t get one-on-one time with you today, I just wanted to be here for you.” She said simply, “And I promise that I will do better from here on out. You matter to me and our friendship matters to me, so of course I’m going to come through for you. Always.” She promised and he bit his lip and nodded.

“Thank you, I’ll do better too. You mean so much to me too, like you don’t even know.” He said to her and she smiled softly. The words were trying to claw their way out of his mouth but he was swallowing them down; she had said that their friendship mattered to her and that was enough to dissuade him from telling her how he felt.

“Thank you. I love you so much.” She said opening up her arms and he smiled as he hugged her tight.

“I love you too.” He responded before they let go.

“Oh, before I forget!” She said opening up the passenger door and he moved aside to let her dip down into the car, “Here is your present. I’m sorry, I didn’t have time to wrap or bag it.” She said extending a book out to him.

“You didn’t have to get me anything…” he assured as he took it from her timidly.

“It’s nothing, H. It’s used by me so ummm there are some highlights and things in there, but don’t mind them. I just think you’ll really like it.” She explained and he smiled as he looked over the cover, “Daring Greatly” is what it was called, “You know that I’m not super into the whole self-help book thing, but I read this one over the holidays and holy shit…it gave me a lot to think about and I think you’re really going to like it.” She smiled as he flipped it over and read the back of it to get an idea of what it could be about and he smiled as he continued reading through it. There were a lot of aspects about how his life went that were in direct conflict with how he wished it could be and it was hard for him sometimes to feel like there were eyes on him all the time, even in private. It made it hard for him to open up with people that mattered a lot to him sometimes and he was still working hard on being able to overcome that.

“Thank you so much.” He smiled up at her and she nodded as she shut the passenger door.

“Yeah, no worries.” She assured with a friendly smile as he set the book on the roof of the car and reached for her again. They hugged each other tight again and just when he was dreading the thought that she was about to let go, he felt her relax into his hold as the wind whipped around them in the dark street. He smiled and squeezed her a bit harder. Trying to remember everything about this moment. He wished he could be more brave…maybe he wouldn’t tell her what he was feeling in his heart for her, but he would be honest about one thing.

“I don’t want you to go.” He confessed, “Barely got any time with you.” He sighed sadly. His words weighed heavily on her heart, she felt that way too and just thinking about driving away and seeing his reflection grow smaller and smaller in the rearview mirror made her want to cry. She bit her lip and moved her head out of his neck and glanced up to him as he glanced down. Their eyes were filled with sadness as they look at each other.

“I wish I didn’t have to go.” She said and he sighed.

“It’s not fair.” He said sadly and she nodded.

“I know.” She sniffled as she brought a hand up to his jaw and held the side of his face. She watched with a thumping heart as his eyes scanned down her face and landed on her lips before he just glanced up to the sky for a second before he pulled her closer.

“Just hold me for a little bit.” He said and she wrapped her arms around him again and rested her head into the crook of his neck as he rested his chin over her head. She could heart his heart thumping just as hard as hers was and as much as they were relaxed in each other’s hold it was still pounding hard and it dawned on her that just maybe he felt the same way as she did. She was scared to say anything though and so they just held each other in the cold night for who knows how long until his phone rang in his hoodie’s pocket and he groaned as he reached inside for it seeing it was his mom.

“Hi.” He said as he brought it up to his ear, his left hand still secured around her waist, keeping her close, so she didn’t move away, “Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you guys, I’m still out here with Y/N.” He explained, she could feel the vibrations of his low and soothing voice through his throat and chest, “It’s been a long while so we were just making up for lost time, and got chatting.” He said, “-yeah, I know it’s late. I’ll be in soon.” He assured, “Alright, bye.” He finished and hung up before sliding the phone in his pocket, “She said bye again and that I need to let you go home.” He said sadly, but he still wore a smile. “We’ve been out here for twenty minutes apparently. Sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you.” He sighed and she shook her head.

“S’alright. It was lovely while it lasted.” She said and he smiled.

“Just one more minute?” He asked and she nodded and held him close again, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“Yeah, just a little bit more.” She agreed as they started to sway just a little and his hands started sliding down to her hips.

“You look pretty today.” He said and she smiled as she pulled back a bit and laid her hands flat on his chest as she glanced up at him.

“Thanks, H. You look good too, I like when your hair’s like this.” She said and he smiled, “I mean, it looks good when it’s a little longer too, but this looks really good.” She compliment as she reached up and ruffled the top of it a bit and he chuckled.

“Thanks, love.” He hummed bashfully as her hand traveled down his face and her thumb stroked along his jaw, feeling a little more confident.

“This little facial hair action you’ve got going on is also nice.” She said as her thumb trailed towards his mouth and before she could go to the slight mustache growing over his lips he suddenly turned and opened his mouth and playfully snapped a bite at her thumb which gave her a fright as she quickly pulled her hand away, but eventually this ended in a laugh.

“God, stop! You scared me.” She huffed as she very lightly slapped at his chest and he chuckled. But he had to stop her, there was no way that she could feel around his mouth and it not end in him attempting to kiss her and then he’d ruin everything. He had an unreadable look in his eyes which made her frown a bit. “You alright?” She asked and he quickly snapped out of it and nodded.

“Yeah, sorry. Zoned out for a second.” He shook his head and she hummed.

“OK, well I really should go now.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah.” He agreed, but didn’t really loosen the grip of his arms around her waist as their eyes met again and then his flickered down to her lips quickly but again, made no move and she decided that she was just going to do it.

She tiptoed with a racing heart and butterflies in her stomach. Harry’s entire body was covered in goosebumps as her hands slid up his chest as she tiptoed, their faces now much closer together than before and his heart skipped a beat as her eyes glanced down to his lips and then back up to his eyes as she leaned in closer. He swallowed the nervous lump forming in his throat as the tension between them came to an all-time high. And in mere moments their noses were barely brushing as her hands looped around his neck and then their eyes fluttered closed as she closed the gap as her lips melded against his own tenderly. He couldn’t believe it, the air completely left his lungs and his brain felt like it exploded as his hands squeezed around her hips before he related released them and instead grabbed her face gently as their lips moved together in perfect t sync. The soft little smacks of their kisses were sending him into another plain of reality. As their lips slotted together he felt on top of the world, it wasn’t hard for their kiss to gain a little more traction and deepen as she very lightly sucked on his bottom lip. It just about made his knees give beneath him. This awakened something in him and he did it back to her, he heard her sigh with a little hint of a whimper and he proceeded to let his tongue just barely swipe at her swollen bottom lip and when she parted her mouth just a bit more he used a little more of it. This kiss made her feel like fireworks were bursting inside of her and it was making her breathless; she never wanted to stop, but she needed to go. She really had to now. Harry hummed in slight protest as her hands started to slide back down to his chest.

“No.” He muttered against her mouth and she smiled which caused the kiss to naturally end and he leaned his forehead onto hers, “Been dying to kiss you for ages.” He admitted before leaning back in and she allowed it as he pecked her lips a few more times, her entire body was buzzing now.

“I was too, but I really have to get home, H. I’m sorry.” She pouted and he kissed at her pout.

“I know. Just being selfish.” He muttered and she pecked his lips this time as he let go of her face and settled his hands back on her waist as he pouted now.

“Don’t pout, it’s making me feel bad.” She whined, “Already gonna cry the whole way home.” She sniffled, already feeling her eyes welling up.

“Nooo…” he frowned, “Why are you gonna cry?” He asked as he kissed the tip of her nose.

“Because it’s not fair. Like, who knows when we’re gonna get to see each other again.” She said sadly and he sighed.

“I know…” he said solemnly before he hugged her close and she rested into his chest, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She assured, but he still felt like it was. He was the one leaving the country, not her.

“I’ve still got to perform at the Grammy’s next Sunday so I’m gonna be in town, I’ve got rehearsals during the week and I will make time to come see you.” He said.

“I don’t want to add more stuff to your schedule, H.”

“You’re not, I want to see you before I go on Sunday.” He reassured her.

“Where are you going on Sunday?”

“Back to London. M’performing at the BRIT awards and then just resting a few weeks before I head to Australia for the next leg of the tour.” He sighed and she hummed in understanding.

“S’gonna be a while until next time, huh?” She asked and he nodded sadly.

“Yeah, but you know that this is kind of home away from home.” He said with a small smile, “And well…anywhere you are, that’s where I want to be too. All the time if I could.” He confessed earnestly and she just surged forward and pressed their lips together again in a searing and wonderful kiss, but before she could be sucked back in to another make-out session she parted their lips.

“OK, I really need to go now.” She said and he nodded.

“Yeah, for real this time.” He giggled and they hugged quickly before she pecked his lips just one last time.

“Happy birthday, H.” She spoke against his kiss-swollen lips.

“Thanks, love. I’ll see you soon.” He said and she nodded.

“See you soon.” She whispered before they parted ways and he gave her one last kiss before helping her into her car and waving her off into the night. As she glanced back at him through the rearview mirror her eyes started welling up, as she knew they would. But then her phone dinged and she glanced at it when she came to a stop sign.

Harry:

No crying. Unless it’s happy tears, OK? Text when you get home, please 💕

She giggled all while sniffling as she typed out her response to him

Y/N:

Too late! 😭And I will. Night 💕

With that she went on her way and yes, there were tears but despite the challenges she knew would come, she was confident that everything was going to be just fine.

Thanks for reading! If you liked this story…

Check out more of my writing HERE 🙂💕

#harry styles birthday #harry styles birthday fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fan fiction #harry styles friends to lovers #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles reader insert #friends to lovers fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles fluff #harry styles fluffy one shot #Harry styles #0nlythrowharrybeaux #one shot

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itsfeckinwimdy · 1 year

Text

Helpless

Fili x Reader

Reader Pronouns: n/a.

Prompt: A carrying a stubborn B back to bed after they find them trying to be productive.

Word Count: 597 words

Warnings: Ill/sick reader, references to vomit, references to marriage.

Translations: amrâlimê - my love, ghivashel - treasure of all treasures.

LOTR + TH Masterlist

Published: 19/02/2023

It wasn't as if you were dying. Not at all. It was just a cold, that had knocked you off your feet for the last three days and left the healers worried for you. Just the usual cold.

Being cooped up in your room was doing you no good, so here you were, hidden away in one of the libraries of Erebor alongside Balin. It was one of the few places that were a, near to your room, and b, where you could find some peace away from the entourage of guards following you. (In reality, it was only two, but being ill tended to make you even more overdramatic.)

Scrolls of plenty were laid out on the desk in front of you, having missed many lessons with Balin regarding the history of the Dwarves, you figure it was the least you could do to catch up again. The stubbornness of the older was apparently no match for your own that day, namely because he saw how tired you looked once you had seated yourself at the table.

You wouldn't end up coming the to realisation that Balin had only conceded in the argument to keep you in place so that he could send for Fili until a day later at least.

The door to the library flung open

"You couldn't just stay in bed resting, could you amrâlimê?" The question came from a certain blonde prince who had once again to his uncle's dismay abandoned his duties. It wasn't like there was another heir to the throne who usually slacked off to spend time with a certain elf.

Kili could suck it up for one day.

Arms grabbed you, lifting you up and out of your seat and into the arms of your prince. He adjusted you slightly, hoping that you weren't too uncomfortable or that you wouldn't do something stupid like roll out of his arms only to meet the stone floor underneath you. Not like he was speaking from experience, definitely not. He nodded to Balin as the old dwarf smiled in return.

"Make sure they get some rest lad," Balin called as Fili carried you away. He shook his head, turning back to the table you were sitting at, now having to clear away the scrolls you had out. At least you hadn't regurgitated over them. That was a blessing.

"Fili," you whined, annoyed that he was taking you away and back to rest. You did your best to focus on him but found that sleep was taking over your mind. Maybe you shouldn't have left your room?

But you would've gone insane spending another full day doing nothing but sleeping.

"Sometimes ghivashel," Fili began, lightly kicking the door to your room open, and then shut again, "I wished I hadn't married someone so stubborn."

He rested you back on your bed, letting you sit up leaning against him, "But then I wouldn't have fallen for you ghivashel."

He sighed to himself, looking down at your tired form. This cold of yours was really taking a toll on your body. He could only pray to Mahal that you would get better in the coming days.

"Promise me, you'll let yourself rest?" Fili asked, hand reaching up to twirl the marriage braid and bead between his fingers.

"I'll try," you murmured back, looking up at him, eyes locking with his, "As long as I'm not bored to death by then."

A resounding chuckle left Fili as he placed a kiss on your forehead, knowing that was the best answer he would get from you.

#fili x reader #fili durin x reader #fili imagine #fili fanfic #fili fanfiction #the hobbit x reader #the hobbit imagine #the hobbit fanfic #the hobbit fanfiction #pronouns: n/a #fic: drabble/imagine #tree writes lotr + th fics

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mollyjeanne615 · 1 year

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Could you please write a song adapting Ted and Charlotte’s conversation/flirting/argument in The Guy Who Didn’t Like Musicals before he leaves her alone with Sam?

Like… there’s the genuine love between them; their respective issues, fears and unhealthy beliefs getting in the way of it; their regret that they can’t just be happy together while also not taking action to make that happen; the stress of being stuck in an alien zombie apocalypse; Charlotte’s grief over and Ted’s resentment of Sam; and their difficulty actually communicating all the previous things. And of course, the sexual tension. I just think that all of those layers interplaying would make a really good song. Especially since their dynamic wasn’t explored much in the show.

There could even be a coda where Ted, after leaving, muses that he could have done better, but he’s been very careful to never give her reason to expect better from him, so she’ll get over it. They’ll be back to their version of normal soon enough (messy as it is). So he doesn’t need to go back in there and apologize or say some heartfelt shit or anything. Then the final notes are the first ones of “You Tied up My Heart”.

I say this every time but holy SHIT this was fun

So I tried to get as much of this prompt into one song as I could - it doesn't cover the entire scene, so there would be a little bit of dialogue between this and "You Tied Up My Heart," but I think it captures a lot of their relationship and connection. There could also totally be some underscoring from this going into the next song in a full production. (Also this wouldn't be in a full production cause they wouldn't be singing, but I dream.) I also cheated a bit with the orchestrations - I've been trying to make them as playable by the original bands of the shows as possible, but for this I switched out the bass part for a second guitar cause why not. There's a little bit of "Time Bastard" in the opening synth part, and there's a pretty big motif/reprise/stolen chord progression in the bridge of the song - I was trying to think of other Hatchetfield songs relating to Spankoffski stories and sexual temptation and all that, and I think this one did the trick lol. I'm super proud of the demo for this one - it came out somewhere between "Dead Girl Walking" from Heathers and "D.O.A." from The Lightning Thief, and I'm really in love with it. Hope y'all enjoy!

In the Worst Way

CHARLOTTE: Ted! I can’t believe you’re thinking about that at a time like this, the whole world could be coming to an end!

TED: Yeah. Exactly. The whole world’s gone to shit and you’re worried about what someone else might think about you?

CHARLOTTE: Well, when you put it like that…

TED:

You think you’re such a good, good girl You pick your nails, you hide your stress But it’s the end of the fucking world So you can afford to decompress

You put your image on a throne You crumple underneath the crown But you need to grow a backbone Before it breaks you down

You’ve been in bed with a scumbag But baby, can’t you see You have a chance to upgrade To a sleazeball like me

So if I’m dying tonight I’ve got a great way to cap off my life I’ll be going out doing the thing I love Screwing around with another man’s wife Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE: Oh, you’re such a horny bastard.

TED: Always have been, always will be.

CHARLOTTE:

My body’s telling me to run My mind is saying you’re no good But I need something just for fun So I guess I probably should

I’ve wished upon so many stars To be more confident and crude So I’ll embrace the love that’s ours With a badass attitude

TED: Okay!

CHARLOTTE:

There’s something in my gut that says You might still be alright Cause I need someone to love me Before we bite the dust tonight

So if I’m dying today I’m gonna let you lead me astray I might be meeting my maker pretty soon So I’ll get down on my knees and pray Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Ooh, I want you in the worst way, yeah

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

My happiness is coming first, I won’t be on my own Let all those without sin cast the first stones I’ll do all I can so you’ll never be alone At least until we kick the bucket

CHARLOTTE:

But should I just stick with the devil I know

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

Well, you know what, fuck it!

They make out passionately as a rocking electric guitar solo backs them up.

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

So if I’m dying right now I’ll spend this moment breaking a vow There’s nowhere else I need to be And I needed a little break anyhow Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say Yeah, let me say I want you in the worst way

TED:

Let’s let the chips fall where they may

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way

CHARLOTTE:

My husband’s brains fell out today

TED AND CHARLOTTE:

I want you in the worst way Maybe there’s better things I should worry about today But I’d rather be here with you So let me say I want you in the worst way

They kiss again on the button of the song.

#team starkid #starkid #tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #ted spankoffski #Charlotte sweetly #most of the time when I write these I'm like “it would be cool if people from starkid saw this eventually but I don't need them to”#but HOLY SHIT I want Joey and Jaime to sing this

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vaguely-concerned · 23 days

Text

A Stitch In Time First Read Reactions & Thoughts Monster Post Part 1

Basically exactly what it says on the tin! I kept making notes while I was reading and somehow it grew into this sprawling monstrosity that had to be split into three parts haha. In short: I loved this book, 10/10 incredibly gay and full of yearning Garak is there the whole time would recommend.

Quotes from the book in normal text, my reflections, reactions and self-indulgent bits in italics :) Please, please only click on that read-more if you're ready for some truly long-winded nonsense, I fear I have gone and been extremely myself about this and I can only beg your forbearance for it while I get it out of my system lol

Part 2, Part 3

- My dear Doctor:

Forgive my delay in responding to your kind communications. I wanted to give this modest chronicle I’ve enclosed a modicum of organization and update it before I sent it on to you. Thank you for your concern. I have thought of you often since our last meeting, and I am pleased to hear that your life on Deep Space 9 remains challenging and productive. Considering all the changes that have taken place I would have expected nothing less. And I’m certainly not surprised that your research proposals have been accepted. You’re a brilliant young scientist—even if you are genetically enhanced. As for my life here …

This is such a deceptively innocuous and normal-sounding beginning to what is about to be an extremely unnormal and unhinged thing to send a friend as a letter. He made it all of one paragraph of keeping it chill and I honestly think that’s pretty impressive all things considered. Thankfully Julian Bashir — who, let’s not forget, gave Jadzia his fucking diaries to read after much shorter acquaintanceship than what what we’re operating on here — is possibly the one person in the galaxy with the unhinged energy to take it.

(‘I have thought of you often’ he says. And how., as we shall see)

- Yes—I’m afraid you weren’t expecting this response to your kind inquiry; it goes a bit further than “Greetings from Cardassia—Wish you were here.”

Fhksjdfhasdkj well. In spirit that is exactly what you’re saying tho garak fhdskjaas. It’s just that you’re also pathologically incapable of shutting the hell up and for this I love and treasure you.

- So why Captain Sisko is so upset with me because I accomplished the goal (which he established!) of getting Romulus into the war against the Dominion baffles me. And it’s not because of the few lives that were sacrificed. Federation expansion has taken a toll in countless life-forms—about most of which they are blissfully unaware. The moment you step into a garden and begin to cultivate and prune, you become a killer. Perhaps the captain was upset because he had hesitated to do what was necessary to insure the integrity of his garden. Sentimentality is another trait that makes humans dangerous.

*Garak voice* Julian please tell me why your boss is so mad at me I literally solved all his problems for him. for which he’s wELCOME btw

Eyes open for recurring metaphors about gardeners, Tolan is haunting this narrative and it’s only polite to say hello whenever he shows up

- Indulge me, if you will; I need you as a witness.

Can I just say how fucking wild it is in terms of character development for Garak to openly admit he needs someone interpersonally. Incredibly fucked up that he writes both parts of this directly to Julian, though — both the part where he’s pretty sure he’s going to die trying to free Cardassia from the Dominion, and the ‘now’ timeline on post-war Cardassia where he seems to be dazedly coming to the realization that he might live, actually, and what that means to him.

- As a child I would go to the Tarlak Sector with Father, and while he supervised his crews I’d play by myself amid the black-and-white angularity of the monuments, imagining myself a great gul or legate giving the funeral oration for a fallen comrade.

Already we are starting to spot the thread, if you’ll excuse the expression, of why Garak might be Like That

I also came to admire Damar’s idealism, which led him to renounce his allegiance to the Dominion. If he had one weakness it was his propensity for long-winded speeches. But given the fact that none of us are perfect, the man would have made a fine leader.

As I stood at the memorial service, I thought about all the grand affairs I had witnessed here when I was a boy. None of our famed heroes and statesmen has ever had such a humble service—and none of them, from Tret Akleen on, deserved more than Corat Damar.

You are a species of long-winded speakers and Pythas Lok

- Dr. Parmak, the unit leader, worked furiously to stabilize the little girl, and when she was evacuated by the transport unit he broke down. He’s a very good man, this Dr. Parmak; he reminds me of an older version of you, Doctor.

Introducing Dr. Kelas Parmak, last seen in the then-noodle incident mentioned in The Die is Cast. Quite possibly the chillest person who has ever lived, considering he gets over the whole thing where Garak like tortured him pretty fast. (To be fair Garak DID say he was sorry. Between this case and Odo’s, that apparently goes a surprisingly long way lol)

- But Garak, you’ll say, there’s no excuse for killing a defenseless woman. And there isn’t… unless you’ve been brought up in our system.

I love that he keeps a little Julian around in his head to talk to at all times. That’s one of the most freakishly intimate things in this whole book of freakish intimacy. Garak has a little Tain on one shoulder and a little Julian on the other shoulder and they have heated debates as to the validity of murder as a solution to any given problem that’s put before him

- I also thought about this Cardassian sense of duty and how it is largely responsible for bringing those of us who are left to these current circumstances. I asked Dr. Parmak how an entire people can come under the sway of this duty and blindly give allegiance to a state that goes mad and murders its own children.

“Poisonous pedagogy, Elim,” he replied. “We believe what we are taught.”

Poison/Disease contagion is a metaphor that will wind through this whole thing,and different people mean different things by it. Parmak means it about The Facism, which is the right one. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that Dukat Sr. has a rather different spin on it, and that he’s wrong!

- But Tain at home was anything but mysterious. It was not unusual for Uncle Enabran to appear and take me away on some excursion that involved a long walk through a section of the city. During these walks he’d test my awareness, and challenge me to describe a house or a person we’d just passed. If I hadn’t been paying attention and couldn’t remember the details, the walk was over and we’d silently return home under the oppressive weight of his disapproval. He also seemed to know how I was performing at school, and if he wasn’t satisfied with my progress or behavior he’d punish me. I was a hard worker but I had a mischievous streak, and I enjoyed getting others involved in questionable activities and arranging it so they were found out and took the blame. On those rare occasions when I was caught, Tain would somehow find out and punish me—not for my misdeed, but for having been caught. And after he discovered my fear of small, dark spaces, his favorite punishment became keeping me in one until I had convinced him that I had analyzed and fully understood how my mischievous scheme had gone wrong. I found it odd that Mother and Father never had anything to say about these punishments.

. . .

At first I thought I was in trouble, and my face must have reflected this fear because Father attempted to reassure me with a forced smile. But the uncharacteristic falsity of his behavior and his barely concealed agitation only made the situation worse. I had never seen him like this. Mother’s face was a mask; it revealed nothing. She spoke as if I needed to clean off the day’s work before we ate.

Garak treats him and Bashir ‘drifting apart’ the same way he describes his young self being trained by Tain to go over his ‘mistakes’ — what did I do wrong? You also see it (almost most heartbreakingly to me) from Tolan when he gets sharper out of worry at the end of the scene where the agent comes to take Garak away to the Bamarren Institute:

I was stunned. I wanted to ask more, I wanted to ask about the dedication ceremony that afternoon, but I didn’t dare. Father had that look when one of the workers didn’t get it right the first time. But what had I done wrong?

Oh buddy. He’s so fucking confused. The only thing you’ve done wrong yet is having been born with some connection to Enabran Tain, Elim, I’m so sorry

- We were the “missing pieces”—and in order to find our place in the mosaic of civilized society, we had to be broken down and reconstructed from the bottom up.

Keep your eyes open for ‘broken down and reconstructed’ too, it will be on the final test lol

- The good captain gave me one of his bemused stares.

Sisko ILU. He’s not in this book a lot so I’ll take the chance to say it here, because I do.

- It was explained to us that until we became disciplined in our relations with the “complementary gender” we would make better progress this way. When I asked One Tarnal how we would learn this discipline without interaction between the sexes, he blinked and mumbled something about “distractions.” When I asked what that meant I was told that I had a loose mouth and given five days of hygiene-chamber maintenance as punishment.

“You don’t know enough to ask so many questions.”

Elim 'Genuinely & Guilelessly Too Deeply Pansexual To Be Able To Follow This Logic’ Garak

- Pythas/Eight descriptions because this is a bad mutual crush situation:

- Unfortunately, the only student left was quiet Eight Lubak, who kept completely to himself. He agreed to accompany me and quickly moved to the door. He was short and slender, and his dark eyes and long lashes made him look younger than the rest of us. He was almost too delicate for a Cardassian. I was not encouraged … but I had no choice.

‘Dark eyes and long lashes’ huh lol

I started to follow him, but he made it clear that I should stay where I was and wait. All during this, Eight was quiet and controlled—and as sure of himself as if he’d done this many times. How did he know where he was going?

. . .

His face was dark, intense with concentration; his brow ridges, which were unusually pronounced, cast shadows over his eyes. My heart began to pound when I realized what Eight was planning. These were certain to be older students, but he expressed no hesitation, no doubt.

. . .

I didn’t know then if I could ever call Eight a friend. Something about him was strange and impenetrable. But it didn’t matter. At least I knew there was one person in my section I could trust. How I had misjudged him. It was obvious that Eight had what Cardassians call a ferocious spirit—and that I could learn a great deal from him.

. . .

Eight also came from a “service” family background, and it was soon clear to everyone that he should have been designated One Lubak, a fact not lost on the actual holder of that designation who, judging from his behavior and speech, came from the highest echelons of our society.

. . .

Five was an athlete who also did well in class. I could see that he was attracted to Eight. As indeed I was.

Big round of applause for Andrew Robinson managing to sneak the skywritten subtext into the text like this, it’s an exceedingly rare gift to get to have from the media of this time

. . .

But by then the group had passed. What murk? Me? Have all the others been captured? Surely not Eight. I couldn’t believe that was possible.

. . .

The only member of my group who performed as well in all areas was the taciturn Eight.

. . .

The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

. . .

Eight remained for a few more minutes. I had the feeling that he wanted to say something more to me. Suddenly he turned and disappeared behind a barrier. The air was filled with whatever went unsaid. He was as shy as anyone I had ever known.

The boys are being useless lesbians at each other omg……… what must this whole mess look like from Pythas’ POV tho. He’s been keeping an eye on his friend/crush so he doesn’t get himself killed by running his mouth off too much to the wrong person and before he knows it the guy is embroiled in an inadvisable bisexual sandwich of betrayal and savage intrigue. I wonder if anything would have been different if Garak and Pythas had managed to actually talk to each other here.

- Eight was the only person who deserved number One as much as I did—maybe more. My solitary behavior was not always in service to the group. Eight and I exchanged encouraging looks. The support of my one constant friend was all I wanted. I sat there and shut out everything else.

*Garak whenever someone prefers Pythas over him* understandable honestly I’d do the same thing he’s the best have a nice day

End Pythas/Eight teen crush corner

- My mind wandered. I was sure that I heard sounds of the women students gusting with the winds. Suddenly mother materialized … she looked like she was apologizing. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her, but her image dissolved and … Father took her place. I knew he was telling me something very important, but I was growing dizzy and afraid that I’d join Six on the ground … his words were carried away by the winds.

Suffering and agony

Some assorted 'Just assure me that I'm not going mad, Doctor'/Garak's ever-tenuous grip on his mental health moments:

-I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised that he knew. Instead, I was grateful; it told me I wasn’t going mad.

A recurring worry for him I’m sure it means nothing! I feel the same fellowship with him as I do with Harrow in The Locked Tomb series, which I’m sure says even less, don’t worry about it.

And how do we even begin to rebuild a world that doesn’t exist anymore? A world that exists in my mind with the same arid bitterness as the dust in my mouth. I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It’s almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.

“Why save him?” it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. “You’re only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?”

I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn’t there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I’m sure I must have looked like a madman. Dr. Parmak tried to send me home, but I refused—alone it’s even worse.

I’m just imagining Julian arriving on Cardassia like ‘hey yeah I got your letter and we should fuck about it right now but first of all have you told Parmak you’ve been having vivid hallucinations again because that’s very relevant medical information Garak!!!’

- But it was in the Pit and my work with Calyx that I suffered the most. My dreaming made me “an air man.”

“You have no grip, no focus. How can you find your strength if you can’t hold your place? Living in your dreams is like living in exile.”

*whisper* pls don't...

- As I tried to put faces on the shadowy children, they began to approach me. They became more distinct as they moved through the rain and haze. Can you believe it, Doctor? They weren’t my schoolmates; they were the Cardassian orphans from the Resettlement Center on Bajor we once visited. The orphans left after the Cardassian occupation forces withdrew. The same young girl was their leader and her lips formed the same question.

Have you come to take us home?

I jumped up. I felt the shed closing in, threatening to swallow me. I ran out into the rain and gloom.

“There is no home anymore! Can’t you see that? Look around you! It’s gone!” I screamed at them and fell to my knees in the sodden waste. They continued to stare back with that same look of fragile trust that I would somehow relieve them of their fear and bring them home. I couldn’t look at them anymore and dropped down into the muck. My despair was no longer just a voice; it was this monstrous world the evil had created, and it surrounded and overwhelmed me.

I don’t know how long I remained curled up in the mud. I felt myself being lifted and half carried, half dragged back into my shed. It was Dr. Parmak. He cleaned and changed me as best he could. He prepared a cup of Tarkalean tea, which made me think of you, Doctor. How ironic, another doctor pulls old Elim out of the muck of his despair, but this time he’s a Cardassian.

The fact that in the episode itself, Garak (in a haze of endorphins and practiced dissociation) is barely like ‘yes yes I’m sure we’re ALL very upset about the orphans. Or whatever. Well what do you want me to do about it Doctor it’s just the way of the world’ and then it just haunts him horrifically for the rest of his life forever and ever the end! Very on brand.

Garak does seem to genuinely like and care for children in general, which makes my heart all weird and sad

Also Parmak making Tarkalean tea and Garak being like ‘oh. Like Julian :’(‘ about it my HEART. The fact that he’s a serial befriender of very patient kindhearted doctors willing to put up with his nonsense is probably the only reason he’s still alive lol. Thank u Parmak

- A difficult move under pressure against strong physical resistance from an opponent … and something would snap. A painful blow might set it off, a whispered insult, perhaps just a thought or a feeling of hopelessness, and I would suddenly lose control and lash out like a madman. I became suffused with a raging, crimson anger that poured out from some black hole somewhere deep inside me.

I feel like we see the outlines of this still in him by the time of the show — more tucked away and harnessed, but definitely still there. He’s got an instinctive Fight response a mile wide, it’s just that these days he mostly expresses it by becoming incredibly fucking MEAN when he feels threatened rather than outright physical attack.

- And there was a soothing quality as it spoke of dry legal definitions. It acted as a balm for my bruises and bitterness. I began to feel such longings. It was like hearing music that you love when you least expect it. How I missed Mother, and working with Father in the flower beds. How I longed for home. I dropped my guard and surrendered to the voice. The tears I was determined never to shed accompanied choking waves of shame and relief, sadness and joy. I finally was able to admit to myself how unhappy I was.

*me with my magnifying glass studying the Palandine/Bashir parallels* listening to Bashir talk about Federation nonsense things presumably fills much the same niche in Garak’s psyche as this haha

- “I assure you, I am not in the habit of attacking people I don’t know in public places. We got our feet tangled in the crush, and he went down—just as, moments before, I nearly wiped out the scent display when he ignored the fact that I was standing in his path. I trust he’s not hurt.”

“I expect more from you, Garak,” Odo lectured. “We’re all under a great deal of strain.”

“As am I, Constable. Please, sit down at least. I feel like a schoolboy being disciplined by the docent.”

Odo sighed and awkwardly perched on the barstool next to mine.

Their dynamic is. Everything to me. Also we learn later that the guy Garak picks a fight with here because he’s upset Julian is hanging out with Miles (lmao oh… buddy) isn’t just anyone or on impulse, but is one of the most hostile-to-Garaks Bajorans on the entire station with a small gang behind him, and Garak knows exactly who he is. Which lends it a certain… something. Almost an edge of very roundabout self-harm.

“I can’t stay long. I have to finish dealing with this …”

“ … situation,” I finished. “You’re very fortunate, Odo.”

“How so?” he asked.

“These people have come to trust you. They rely upon you. You’ve made a real connection here.”

Odo merely grunted. I was careful not to mention Major Kira, knowing how reserved he was on the subject.

“Do you still want to go home?” I asked.

The question startled Odo, and for a moment the mask of official reserve dropped from his face. This was the first time I had brought up the subject since his admission to me during the “interrogation” in the Romulan warbird and Tain’s ill-fated attempt to destroy the Founders’ homeworld.

“ I … can’t say,” he replied ambiguously.

“Well, I can. There’s certainly nothing here to keep me.”

“I never told you how sorry I was about Ziyal’s death.” Odo could be quite sensitive in such matters.

“You did, actually,” I nodded. “But thank you.”

“Still, you and Dr. Bashir have created a strong bond.”

“Not really,” I answered quickly. “I’m afraid that what I have to offer has run its course. It’s certainly no match for darts.” I heard the bitterness of my tone, and so did Odo. We sat in silence for a moment.

“I understand you’ll be involved in the invasion. You must be pleased.” Odo steered us away from the heaviness that had descended.

. . .

“When do you want to schedule your consultation?” I asked. Odo—no doubt influenced by his budding relationship with the Major—was about to branch out sartorially. But it occurred to me that Quark was the last person he wanted to know about it.

“We’ll talk,” he replied, nodding to Quark as he briskly marched back to the Promenade.

AHdorable all around. Hilarious that Odo picked up on trouble in human/lizard paradise and, with the vigor of a person who has freshly had love work out for them for the first time, going ‘not on my fucking watch you’ll talk to each other if it’s the last thing I do’. Also the sheer readiness with which he expects Julian to be Garak’s safe place. What on earth does this relationship look like to outside observers. Especially to Odo, practiced observer of humanoid folly, who completely nails Garak’s whole deal in Improbable Cause to the point that Garak lashes out defensively over it.

- My solitary confinement was agony. The only way I got through it was to rethink all my attitudes about the Pit and the Wilderness and to focus on how I could make my stratagems more effective. Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?

Going through the whole book it is so stunningly awful that this IS the logic his inner world is shaped around for the vast majority of his life, right up until the ‘present’ part of the storyline where it’s being slowly deconstructed and reassembled.

- I apologized to the others for disrupting their family; I explained that I had great need of this creature. Not only was Mila (as I eventually called him) the answer to my current problem, he was as important as any of the docents at Bamarren, with the possible exception of Calyx.

;_______________________________________________________________; there’s no part of this that isn’t crushing

Unlike the last time, I had preparation and an ally.

Tain really had to work at deadening Garak’s ability to form loyalty to anything else but him, because left to his own devices and natural instinct Garak will clearly packbond with ANYTHING. He’s so desperate to belong to someone and be loyal to them.

- As the sun came up, the otherworldly beauty of the Wilderness was gradually revealed by each succeeding gradation of light. I was deeply moved by the presence of so much color in what had initially looked like a dead world to me. Beginning with a cold pale gray, the dawn flowed through a range of blues and into the softest rose and pink and then to a hot red that soon gave way to the merciless bleached bone-white of midday. I was able to see how much territory I had covered the previous night.

Can I just say how unspeakably tender it is that he takes the time to write this out in this. It serves literally no purpose in this narrative but sentiment — to be beautiful. He saw something beautiful once that moved him and he wants to share it with someone. What the fuck.

- I became increasingly concerned; the sun was getting higher, and the overhanging ledge was now my last source of shade. At one point I took Mila out of his wrapping to check on his condition. At least that’s what I told myself. I was afraid that if I was honest and admitted that the real reason was to solicit help from a regnar, the slide into total insanity would be swift and sure. I was getting desperate.

The funniest and saddest thing I’ve ever read fhdskjfas emotional support regnar that he names after his fucking MUM hours. There are things going on with Garak no psychologist could ever hope to get to the bottom of

- Three more members of the Furtan group were on the other side of the rock formation, but Mila had found a hidden depression that required some quiet digging to get into, and we avoided detection. We settled in and resealed the opening with sand and loose rocks. After an indeterminate period, the Furtan hunters left. As we waited for nightfall I fell into a deep sleep.

BB!Elim and regnar Mila like ‘OUR secret hiding spot’. (Seeing how much garak both craves and thrives on getting to have that sense of ‘we’ and fellowship tho. And knowing that’s going to be not only deliberately kept from him but made psychologically impossible for him for a very long time. We should bring Tain back to life so we can kill him again and more painfully actually. Mercymorn acid jail for a thousand years time.)

- While I understood that I would have to watch my step with One Charaban, I also acknowledged that I had never been in a manlier or more attractive presence. It was like encountering an ideal that I’d only dreamed about. As I walked back to my section and accepted the congratulations of my mates, I was baffled not so much by the appearance of this new and commanding person in my life as by my recognition of his strong connection to me. But what connection?

Baby pansexual disaster at his finest

- The other day, the Doctor, Odo, and I were at the Replimat having lunch, an event that Odo, after our conversation, had taken it upon himself to organize.

. . .

“But what about you, Doctor?” I asked, returning to the business at hand. “It seems there’s a movement afoot to have you replace Captain Sisko.” The doctor winced.

“Is this true?” Odo asked. We both looked to the doctor for confirmation. He sighed.

“There’s a group of … genetically enhanced people who feel that one of their own should be guiding the station during this emergency, and they’ve petitioned the Federation Council, but it’s Jack and his group, and no one takes them…” Exasperated, he broke off. “Garak, how did you hear about this?”

“My clientele talk and I listen.” This was also true: an idiot savant who wears his presumed genetic superiority like a badge of privilege walked into my shop and never stopped talking. Of course I encouraged him, and by the time he left I had heard all about some organized attempt to elevate Dr. Bashir to the leadership position. I could see that the doctor was upset that I’d divulged this information. Clearly this genetic business was not his favorite topic of conversation.

“Is this something we should keep an eye on?” Odo asked, studying us carefully.

“No, not at all,” the Doctor assured him. “It’s just Jack’s people. This was nearly a year ago, and I’m afraid they have too much time on their hands—like some other people I know.” He pointedly looked away from me as Odo continued to study us, trying to decode the undercurrent of this last exchange between us. No wonder he was such a capable security operative. Odo registered every change in tone and temperature and tracked the change down to its cause.

“Tell me something, Garak.” It was clear that he had found an opening for one of those deferred questions he kept on a prioritized list somewhere in his changeling head. He was still a basically shy and tactful person, especially when it came to other people’s business, but lately he’d become more openly inquisitive. I wondered if it was Major Kira’s influence.

Matchmaker/self-appointed and woefully under-equipped marriage counselor Odo……….you are Everything to me you dumb beige bitch. Garak goes a bit aggro in return when he tries to get too close to something tender but honestly odo buddy gooey friend of my heart maybe you shouldn’t barge into this particular glassware shop like a rampaging elephant huh someone’s going to get cut. Also Garak could have refrained from pressing on Julian’s bruises for attention here and we may not have had the rest of the scene, but alas.

This must be the lunch where we deal with uncomfortable subjects.

“But if Cardassia is liberated from Dominion control …” Odo went on.

“When Cardassia is liberated,” I interrupted.

“Would you return?”

“Would you return to the Great Link?” Odo reacted with sharp annoyance to the question.It wasn’t a fair one, because although we were both exiles, we were in very different circumstances. With the humanoid shape he was still learning to live with, and his deepening relationship with Major Kira, Odo was discovering a new mode of existence, a new link. He had an alternative, however difficult the choice. I didn’t.

“Yes, I know. You can’t say.” I was sorry I had asked again. It was a question he was obviously struggling with.

The feeling Garak seems to have towards Odo in this period where like… you know when you have a friend who has a lot of the same mental health issues as you do and you see them get better and start to flourish and you are genuinely so happy for them but also feel just how deep in the muck you yourself still are with no prospect of getting out. And the way Garak consistently wistfully includes Odo’s romantic relationship to Kira when he observes how he’s coming out of his shell and why he has reasons to stay.

“Would you return to the same Cardassia?” the doctor asked.

“What do you mean ‘same’?” But I knew perfectly well what he meant.

“To a Cardassia containing the political and social elements that made the current situation possible.”

“My dear Doctor, that’s also the Cardassia that made me possible.” I half-hoped my joke would end this conversation … but I knew better.

Julian baby please read the room and take this up some other time somewhere private maybe (and yet I understand how you wouldn’t think of that until later once Garak’s had a rare public freakout)

Absolutely heartbreaking in every way that garak seems so convinced he must have done something wrong or simply doesn’t have anything more of interest to offer julian and that’s why they’re drifting apart, when a just as likely reading from what’s actually on the page here is that julian feels he keeps getting it wrong and hesitates in case he makes the damage worse. Garak have you considered who this man is before you decided you must have fucked up and resigned yourself to the dark closet of self-isolation tain put in your head. I’m in shambles.

Also Julian is saying a lot of very true things about Cardassia in this scene that Garak needs to hear and that he’s clearly processing all through the rest of his time on DS9 and beyond, as angry as it makes him, and the good doctor means so well but he IS being incredibly condescending, and he keeps pushing even as Garak is signaling he’d rather not go in depth on this, especially in such an exposed public setting. (This is a conversation they SHOULD be having in private, both for emotional reasons and b/c Garak’s position on this station is a lot more vulnerable than I think Julian realizes, as the hostile comments he immediately starts getting during this convo show.) I mean I guess it’s not this man’s fault he is fundamentally British and autistic what can a bitch do fdjslkfhasj (I say this with all the love in my fellow autistic heart, please do not misunderstand me here). But it’s a very Julian well-meaning but flawed thing to do — he’s focusing on the principle and intellectual side of it, but he’s not taking into account that just maybe having to deconstruct the entirety of your worldview and belief system and then feel responsible for implementing them to create a better world afterwards could be an emotionally fraught process that requires not only reasoned political debate but personal, emotional support from a friend. He isn’t getting that Garak isn’t so much categorically resistant to the basic ideas he’s setting forth — it’s that he wants to be convinced on a practical level that it could even work, because otherwise it’s just a useless pretty picture.

(Which is a big part of their dynamic on many levels, I’ve always felt. All those times he challenges Julian’s more hopeful and idealistic world view — ultimately he doesn’t do that because he wants to break Julian’s faith down until he agrees with him, he does it because somewhere deep down Garak wants to be convinced. He wants there to be hope somewhere in the world, even if he won’t buy the quick and glorified ‘it’s easy to be a saint in paradise’ Federation version of it. And Julian’s version isn’t that, in the end; it gets tested again and again and he really, genuinely means it, even when it’s hard. Which is one of the most healing things about his presence in Garak’s life overall.)

Ironically I also think Julian believes so much in Garak and his capabilities that it simply doesn’t occur to him that Garak as a private person might just be like. Too scared and overwhelmed to even contemplate this, at least until Garak is upset enough that he can’t gracefully hide it. (“With your background and experience, Garak, I’m certain that you could serve as a liaison between a new Cardassian government and the Federation.” The Doctor paused and waited for a response. None was forthcoming. “I once suggested that you visit Earth as a member of the Cardassian government-in-exile….” oh so no biggie then Julian that sounds easy and painless and I’m surprised no one has thought to do this yet, this Obsidian Order wilted leftover sandwich of a guy is surely going to be welcomed with open arms wherever he goes among his people fhsdakjfas!)

I feel like this is one of Julian’s less sympathetic traits that he would probably feel such intense self-loathing about once he realized it’s one he shares with his father — this instinct to try to shape someone into a ‘better’ version of themselves. I think Julian’s version of this primarily comes from a much, MUCH kinder place than in his father; he has the will and ability to see the best in the world and in people, and he can’t help but want them to live up to that once he’s seen it. He fundamentally believes people can be better, can be good, when given the help and tools they need, and that’s such a beautiful part of him. BUT along with that there is also a danger of that tipping over into becoming paternalistic and controlling, of overly privileging the ideal you see over the person who is actually there right now, and trying to forcibly change the one into the other ‘for them’.

Considering Garak’s past experiences of being shaped and controlled by someone else’s idea of what he should be, I’m if anything surprised he doesn’t react worse to this, honestly! I think it speaks to the basic trust and goodness that exists between them that he doesn’t. Julian is clumsy but not malicious, and even here Garak does recognize that on some deep level.

(Probably because he’s also been touched by Julian at his best, in The Wire — where his support and acceptance is absolute and unconditional, free of the instinct to control anything.)

My voice had risen to an uncharacteristic pitch. It was still ringing in my ears as the Doctor stared at me as if he were studying a baffling microbe. I, too, was baffled. I had no idea where this outburst came from. I know that a distance has widened between us during the past year or so and I know that the holosuite program incident and the revelations of his genetic enhancement are the symptoms of this distance rather than the cause. It’s only natural—we’re very different people. I also know that he had only the best intentions in suggesting that I use the Federation model in order to influence the future of Cardassia. Misguided, yes, and somewhat patronizing and arrogant, but hardly sufficient to elicit this embarrassing and public loss of control.

I mumbled some sad excuse which the good Doctor and Odo were kind enough not to challenge and left the Replimat to return to my shop. As I passed Quark’s I caught his eye and we nodded. Why I included him in my outburst also puzzled me; I rather admire his industry and resourcefulness. I especially admire the way he consistently bends Federation rules so that they work for him.

That’s such a fair evaluation of Bashir’s intentions and personality honestly. Even this upset and feeling that distance between them, Garak still has complete trust in the Doctor’s basic good intentions and nature. (Are you really such very different people at the end of the day, though, Elim. Should the genetic enhancement arc maybe be telling you something here.)

Also such a hilarious element of the Garak-Quark relationship.’Sorry to get you caught up in the crossfire bro I’ve never thought of you as anything but an avaricious opportunist (complimentary)’

What is important is that I feel that I am necessary, that I function with all my faculties in the service of a greater cause. And while I wait for this invasion, is making Odo more attractive to Major Kira a greater cause?

It is in fact nothing but the greatest cause Garak. Getting Kira happily lovingly laid is priority one at all times.

- I had no real friends to speak of, and told myself that loneliness was the price I had to pay for success. I considered the games and behavior of my mates to be childish, and that any unnecessary interaction would only distract me from my work. The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

(I feel like this whole part is going to hit Julian in some kind of way lmao)

Literally just. Put me in a little box on the bottom of the ocean and leave me there forever I can’t go on. Also he’s SUCH a clever-but-socially-inept teenager in this part around the people in his group he doesn’t like fhdkjsa. Ugh they’re all so annoying and fake just leave me alone *eyeroll emoji* I didn’t want to be included in their idiotic conversation bb elim… I would die for your lightly insufferable but entertainingly snarky teenage butt in a way that actually makes me feel more kindly towards my own inner idiot 16 year old.

Also it’s no wonder he’s so out to sea when it comes to interacting with his peers — by all accounts he didn’t play much with other kids as a child and then he’s dropped straight into a social Lord of the Flies piranha tank shot through with Class Shit.

Inspired by my guide Mila, I would experiment at withdrawing my presence when I had to remain in the same room with people I didn’t like.

Honing his future customer service worker smile

Here follow some Bamarren and beyond observations I’ve elected to call ‘Sex Stuff’:

- Oh ok so garak gets some sexual Thing out of being beaten to a pulp after mouthing off through the same mechanism that made spanking known as the ‘English Vice’ across Europe when that was the go-to punishment in British boarding schools. I see. Many things are revealed to me

I looked from the pale, frozen face of Three to the others. They all looked like statues commemorating fear. And I was pleased. I realized at that moment that they were in my control, and that I would no longer have any trouble with them. Especially Three. I felt the power like a drug surging through my system.

And then, of course, the other side of the masochism/sadism scale smoothly coming in, he contains those multitudes. In Garak’s defense idk if you could go through a psychosexual development that wasn’t deeply, deeply weird in this sort of environment

“What do you want me to do?” I was trembling as if my body were chilled.

Well, I mean. You know fhkdsjha. And he’s rewarded with the first non-aggressive physical contact he’s had here, you say. (For reference he’s talking to Barkan, of the aforementioned ‘manliest presence’.) I’m sure this didn’t awaken anything in him or anything.

“Elim, why do you think we have these ridges?” She stroked the scalloped cords of cartilege and bone that ran along her neck and down her shoulders with a delicacy that stopped my breath. The energy had turned into molten liquid that was now flowing into my groin. The rest of the world was swallowed by complete darkness and I was back inside the tunnel.

“Because … we do,” I replied stupidly.

Fhdjskfhsdjkfhadskjfhas he’s so easy fdsjkfhas. And what a one-two punch of sexual confusion he got there. That one afternoon did irreparable damage to the libidinous development of this poor man and now he has to live like this.

For the second time tonight I was spellbound by another’s passion. In very different ways, Charaban and Palandine held me in their orbit, like powerful suns.

I was learning something new about myself—an emerging desire for power, but a power that had less to do with mastery over others than it did with connecting to them. The way I felt the connection to Charaban … and especially to Palandine.

And, I’m so sorry to have to break it to you like this, your biodad. I’m sorry Elim you’ve got something truly unfortunately Freudian going on here. It’s not your fault.

“I love the Blind Moon,” Charaban said softly.

“Why is it called that?” I asked, deeply relieved by the mysterious change that had come over us.

“It’s the time for lovers’ assignations,” Palandine answered. “The moon will give them enough light to meet, but not so much for them to be discovered.”

“So if you and Elim were true lovers I wouldn’t have been able to find you,” Charaban teased.

“That’s right, Barkan,” she said with a direct look. I shifted position in the ensuing silence and tried to hide my disappointment with Palandine’s reply, but at the same time, the pleasure I felt in the company of these two people kept growing.

“See?” Palandine suddenly addressed me. “You can do it.”

“What?” I was startled by her delighted burst.

“Smile. Look at that, Barkan. Wouldn’t you tell someone with that smile everything he wanted to know?” she demanded.

“The first time I met him—well, the second…” he corrected himself, “he had a smile that I wanted to wipe off his face.” He was referring to that early morning in front of the Central Gate.

“But it wasn’t that smile,” Palandine insisted.

“No,” he conceded. “Definitely not that one.” And the truth was that I could feel this smile throughout my entire body.

Noooo this is about to go so wrong…it’s all fun and games and bisexual poetry recitation under the blind moon until someone gets stabbed in the back like the Caesar (well caesar notably got stabbed from many many directions but you see what I’m trying to get at here)

- [The Klingon] looked up, and I immediately knew two things about him: he was inebriated beyond reason and he was one of their shock troopers, a callused veteran of hand-to-hand combat. I took a deep breath; as dolts go he was quite impressive. My spirits were suddenly and immeasurably lifted.

“You spoonhead!” he growled at me. I hated that word.

“And you … a great warrior who brings down dabo girls with a single blow,” He looked at me trying to decide if I had insulted or complimented him.

“P’tak!” I shouted, “I mean that you’re the biggest coward in the Klingon Empire,” He released the dabo girl, and as he moved to the narrow stairway I thought that he was also the biggest Klingon in the Empire.

I looked for my advantage. This was not an equal match, and my gigantic friend was in the full flush of a berserker blood lust. I sighed. I’m too old for this, I thought.

. . .

“Get security, Chief, and tell them to prepare the biggest cell they have … or a smaller coffin for me,” I said as I moved into the alcove and squeezed through the opening where the panel had been.

Listen I would apologize for including this here but he’s clearly getting off on this and I couldn’t do anything about it if I wanted to.

I cannot convey just how much my already intense enjoyment of canon is enriched by the knowledge that Garak is up to these kinds of hijinks constantly in the background when the camera isn’t on him. In his defense he was left unsupervised. O’Brien’s fond mildly exasperated help is just the cherry on top. ‘Well I GUESS Julian would be upset if I let you get beaten to death by a drunk Klingon so fine I’ve got your back’

(I made for the upper Promenade—and wondered if Calyx might be enjoying this spectacle from wherever he was. ;______; I like how much of an impact Calyx has on his development, considering how briefly he was actually in his life. Plus: Calyx; the Aiglamene of Bamarren? Locked Tomb/DS9 fandom overlap people, Let’s Discuss.)

“Help me,” he croaked. I was touched by the giant’s childlike surrender. I knew the feeling well.

“I will,” I replied and immediately wondered why I had agreed. I’m getting soft, I thought.

The greatest joy to me of a lot of this is, like… idk if these are all exactly the things that happened at every turn. In fact I’d say they very likely aren’t, Garak’s entire character taken into consideration. But they are certainly the things he wants someone — someone he trusts as far as he knows how, someone he earnestly wants to be closer to than anyone else, and also wants to see all of him — to know about him, to share in. This could just have easily been a story he told Julian in person over lunch to make him laugh. It’s silly and frivolous and fun, and as much at his own expense as a ludicrous person as to show off. To a true lying liar who lies connoisseur, unreliable narration tells more than it obscures etc. lol

- (About Barkan) It was the appearance of warmth that made his charm so attractive. A part of me wanted to tell him everything, to challenge the duplicity of his negative evaluation, but the clarity I found in the Lower Prefect’s office was still with me. Looking at him, I was reminded how Palandine had taught me to smile when I asked questions.

Apart from Pythas, who gets his own little twink corner, most of the people Garak is attracted to throughout this are his height or taller and slender but athletic. I’m just saying that when he spotted Julian in the Replimat for the first time he really saw a young man with the face of an angel who is exactly his type fhdjskah maybe he should have seen this coming for himself. Too high on endorphins and hubris to think this would awaken anything in him irrevocably and now he’s stuck with the consequences.

Why? I asked myself. Why?! For the life of me I could not understand why it was important to her that I respond. Why should she—so beautiful, so alive—be disappointed if I didn’t return her … what? What did she want from me? Friendship? Why me?

I was in turmoil. Her grace and manner, the way she tilted her head and half smiled when she listened, as if everything amused her … it was like a forbidden dream of the unattainable. The attraction was painful because I instinctively knew that while my life would be simpler and more controllable without her, it would also be as drab as my Bamarren uniform.

. . .

“Are you making fun of me?” It was at that moment, when I asked the question, that I realized just how afraid I was of being the object of her ridicule. She stopped laughing and for the first time she was speechless.

Losing my entire fucking MIND about how Garak is basically taking Palandine’s place when he approaches Julian at first. Odo and Garak ‘I love you so much I want to become you because it’s the only way I can imagine really being close to you’ handshake meme

Sex stuff end. For now.

I was about to leave when Odo asked about the designs for his “new” sartorial look. I could see that he was masking his concern, so I assured him that the sketches were some of my finest creations, and would be ready within the week. He grunted his thanks and I stepped out onto the Promenade. Love does make fools of us all.

I’m clawing at my face with emotion. Odo… And Garak did finish those sketches even after his moment of existential ennui over them before.

- Please for the love of god stop putting Six out in the merciless sun T_____T how many times must a poor lil nerd boy pass out before he can rest in the sand etc.

- “It’s not every evening we find Barkan Lokar strolling with a murk through the Grounds.”

“Lokar? My father buried the Legate, Turat Lokar,” I said without thinking.

“Did your father kill him?” Palandine joked. But I didn’t laugh. The Lokars were a legendary family, and the old man’s funeral was the largest I had ever seen.

Why is this so funny. Garak you are so fucking weird. ‘Oh yeah I know that guy my dad did the flower arrangements for his funeral’

- A spirited dabo game involving several Klingons and a serious-looking dabo girl I hadn’t seen before caught my attention. If Quark had been present he’d be giving her one of his congeniality lectures. I truly sympathize with the young woman; if I had to spend all day with these drunken dolts….

Literally so hilarious that’s his first thought. First impulse: ‘surrounded by idiots’ solidarity. Garak what were you doing day drinking at the devil’s sacrament/quarks at midday girl…

- Rom soon appeared with a small container of kanar. He was wearing an outfit I had made for him.

“H-here you are, Garak. I hope you enjoy it.” Ever the gracious host.

“Thank you, Rom. And please, try not to let your collar lie there like a dead targ.” I adjusted the offending fabric, and Rom sweetly tolerated my fussing.

I’m fucking crying what the HELL. Surprise wholesome dynamic that keeps going through the whole narrative. Garak just uncomplicatedly likes and appreciates Rom, with no particular ulterior motive. Plus: fussing is also how we see Mila express affection, like mother like son.

- I realized as I took a sip of my drink that I was in a dangerous mood. Drinking in the middle of the day. The Doctor would be quite disappointed with me. When I’m unable to immerse myself in work my mind becomes occupied by an invading army of thoughts intent upon conquering all equilibrium and peace. Kanar is a valuable if unreliable weapon I employ against this army. The pills the Doctor gives me are a poor substitute.

Julian, severely unimpressed: uh-huh

‘Would Julian want me to do this to myself? No. However he’s too busy playing soldiers with O’Brien to tell me so, apparently, so that can’t stop me.’ You petty lil bitch garak (affectionate)

The fact that he’s doing the The Little Julian Who Lives In My Head thing already here, where the real Julian is actually around but not engaged with him. I’m so sad. He’s managed to discover shrimp colour spectrums of loneliness and pining.

- Ever since the Romulan business and Captain Sisko’s near breakdown (outside of the Doctor, whom I told shortly after the incident, no one knows about this, but one recognizes the symptoms), I’ve been obsessed with memories of Bamarren.

The fact that he tells Julian about that. Presumably partly in a practical way to make sure Sisko doesn’t fall to pieces completely but he doesn’t seem to have any shame about it or expect Bashir to react too badly over it either. The trust…

- I must admit that I was quite taken aback. Evidently there is honor among dolts.

I’m genuinely impressed by how enjoyable it is in this book to be party to Garak’s inner voice. It’s so fun in here, among all the horrors.

- Nine approached me as I sat alone in our quarters reading the first part of Cylon Pareg’s Eternal Stranger, a saga spanning several generations of a Cardassian family during the early and middle Union.

*whisper of agonized affection* between this and his happy place being studying wormhole theory… he’s such a little nerd.

Nine swallowed again, an even more bitter taste, and marched off to a life of diminishing returns.

LMAO burn. And, as we shall see, not necessarily inaccurate.

- As I walked away I heard the custodian ask Tarnal what it was I had done to deserve this punishment.

“Nobody told me. But I know he’s got a mouth on him,” Tarnal replied.

The more things change I guess fdhsakja. Known across the school for being a) a sneaky lil bastard and b) never ever shutting the fuck up when he really really should

- “And you have to use that wonderful smile of yours more often, Elim.”

“What’s that got to do with listening?” That was the subject, and Palandine had typically made a jump in logic I couldn’t follow. She also forgot that I was a Cardassian male and smiling was not one of our strong features.

“If they feel comfortable with you, people will tell you stories about themselves that will reveal their deepest secrets.”

“But what if the stories aren’t true?” I challenged. “I could smile till my cheeks hurt, and you could tell me any kind of story you wanted—and what would I know about you except what you invented?”

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted.

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not? Because it’s not what you believe? Or it doesn’t fit a definition of the truth that someone taught you? Look at people, Elim.” Palandine gestured as if the enclosure were filled with people. “Observe them. The way they walk and talk, the way they hold themselves and eat their meals. That’s what they believe about themselves. Is it the ‘truth’? Are they really that way? I don’t know. Perhaps it is a lie. But what people lie about the most are themselves, and these lies become the stories they believe and want to tell you.”

“As long as I’m smiling,” I mumbled.

. . .

“Truth, as we’ve learned to define it, is not only overrated,” she went on with a controlled passion, “it’s designed to keep people in the dark.”

This last statement stopped me.

“You mean the way we’ve been taught?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“What about our government?”

“They tell us the stories that we need to know in order to be good citizens,” she replied carefully.

“They don’t tell us the truth, is what you’re saying,” I concluded.

“There you go again. They tell us their truth, Elim, and we are here to learn how to listen.”

. . .

“Let the ones without power scowl and make fierce faces.You smile. It’s an invitation to connect with another person. And once the invitation is accepted, relax and listen … you’ll come to know as much as you’ll ever need to about that person,” she said with a smile that I greedily accepted.

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted.

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not?”

SO when I was saying he’s taking Palandine’s place in this dynamic with Julian early on I was not kidding and I was not wrong hahaha. And it’s also what this entire book is, in the end. Trusting Julian to ‘truly listen’ to the story under the stories is maybe the biggest show of trust and vulnerability Garak could ever extend to anyone. Extremely The Wire-core once more.

The idea that tiny Garak was too outwardly glum and serious is. Amazing and brainbreaking. People feeling uncomfortable under his gaze b/c he’ll just like scowl distrustfully at them. Palandine I don’t know if you fixed him or made him worse but you certainly did something fundamental to him and committed him to the bit and for that I cannot thank you enough

- I no longer had Palandine to myself—but surprisingly, I didn’t mind, in fact I was pleased that Charaban was here. His stillness, like everything else about him, had grace and strength. I sneaked another look in his direction and marveled that this was the same person I had first encountered in the storeroom. He returned my look, and in the next few moments a bond grew between us that I had never thought possible.

You know if Barkan was really smart or had the capacity for extended self-control he would have just kept stringing Garak along as the third in his disastrous marriage. Garak is used to subsisting on the merest scraps of affection and consideration, you’d barely even have to feed him. (Ala Daisuke Jigen with many an evil ex, for the Lupinheads out there lol) A threesome here and there and maybe gently stroking his hair afterwards and you’d have him for life, probably. Alas or perhaps thankfully Barkan is ultimately just an asshole and not that smart.

- A Bolian client came down the steps outside the door and was about to enter the shop, but for some reason he stopped at the threshold. He looked at us, turned, and went back the way he came.

LMAO that guy was like ‘something really fraught and homosexual is going on here and that is frankly none of my business, as you were gentlemen don’t mind me.’ A real ally and a bro.

“I’m keeping you from your business.” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door.

“No, you’re not,” he said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’” he explained with the same faint smile.

“What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude.

“It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who lack character’ and insist on airing their needs—especially in public—are subject to ridicule… and worse. Does this sound familiar?”

“Perhaps,” I replied softly.

“But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door.

I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familiar. But as to the question of which group suffers the most…

. . .

After Charaban’s betrayal I became as withdrawn and solitary as I had been when I first came to the Institute. I tried to spend time with Palandine, but it never quite worked out; between her regular duties and the recruitment and planning for the female Competition, she had little time for anything else. But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

1) Going NUTS over the fact that these are separated by ONE paragraph. Andy Robinson staring directly into the camera making parallels between the main love interests in this book like ‘Am I making myself clear here. Do you get it yet’. Also really interesting to make this relationship pattern a, well, pattern in Garak’s life, and not a unique element of his and Bashir’s thing (which Doylistically was basically a byproduct of cowardly 90s standards for tv writing more than anything else lol)

2) But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

The Palandine/Bashir parallel train barrels on, scoring a deep trail of heartache into my soul. Also in that case it’s so sad because he really hasn’t done anything wrong or anything to be ashamed of, Barkan and Palandine are the ones who fucked him over :’(

3) I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. + Tolan’s grief at seeing Garak after Bamorren: “He’s hard, Mila,” Father said. . . . “But to the point where he’s unreachable?” Father asked. “Where nothing penetrates? How can he express even his basic needs if he’s trapped inside a shell?” + Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?...........................................................................

4) More proof to my eyes that Julian’s side of this whole thing seems to be more about thinking Garak doesn’t actually want him to be there. He doesn’t think he’s welcome here or that he’ll be able to help more than he hurts with whatever’s going on for him. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’ AUGH

Garak buddy… every time he tries to get closer to you or extend some care, you bristle like a hedgehog even though you’re trying to do it in as polite and decent a way as possible — what is the poor guy supposed to think beyond a certain point lmao. (Though on the hopeful/beautiful side… what is this entire book but Garak actually taking the advice/suggestion Bashir gives in this scene to reexperience his past and put it in context — not in the holosuites, but in his own way by writing it all out in a way that makes sense to his Cardassian brain and then sharing that with Julian directly. Like. The last line of the book is ‘You’re always welcome, Doctor’. Elim ‘I will become emotionally healthy enough to ask Julian to come visit with an open heart if it fucking kills me’ Garak)

I’m so soft for how careful they both are with each other in this scene, though. Even in this difficult place where there’s stuff they don’t understand about each other and they are having difficulty connecting for… several reasons, they are trying so so hard to be good to each other. Which is why I think they have every chance of working out brilliantly long-term; once you’ve got a mutual respect, willingness to keep working to understand and communicate with each other even when it’s difficult, and that fundamental ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ good faith in a relationship you’re a good chunk of the way there, from what I have observed.

Julian cares that Garak was upset, much more than he cares about being right, and this time he shows it in a more private setting where Garak can take it in. They’re trying!

5) The implication in But as to the question of which group suffers the most… that Garak also realizes how much he’s hurting Julian by not being able to let him in…

Most of all the fact that Bashir in this scene is like ‘Listen Garak I get emotional repression. I’m literally British.’ is one of the funniest things that happen in the whole book. To me. (I’m Norwegian, culturally this has. Some overlap with my experience, let’s say lol)

- Six had long since gone home. He wanted to succeed so badly, but his body couldn’t withstand the constant assault of the training. I’m sure he found an academic situation.

Oh thank GOD. Genuinely so relieved to hear this. This is how many times a nerd boy must pass out before he rests in the sand and gets to go to normal university instead of murderschool, the question is finally answered.

- Tain has shown up again and I want to throw rocks at him until he goes away. And I know he won’t.

- My shed has become somewhat more bearable, but the clutter and confinement of the interior space requires that I leave the door open. To keep myself busy when I’m not working with the med unit, Doctor, I am engaged in a project I must tell you about. It baffles me. Perhaps you can tell me if I’m losing my mind altogether.

. . .

[Parmak] turned to me with the strangest expression on his face—and looked me directly in the eyes for the first time.

AUGH. (Plus, the fact that Parmak consistently calls him ‘Elim’.)

But what baffles me, Doctor, is that I attach no meaning to what I’m doing here. I’m just doing it because I need to. And to be truthful, I don’t see this as a memorial at all. On the contrary—if I could, I’d singlehandedly rebuild this city myself, piece by piece. I stood here watching Parmak’s blood dry on this pile of rubble, engulfed by a feeling of loss and utter mystification as to what these piles mean.

Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor.

This whole section is the biggest mood and I’ve rarely felt closer to a fictional character haha. His quietly dissociated tired bemusement both with himself and what he’s doing and Parmak’s reaction is… yeah that’s exactly what that feels like. And ‘Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor’ has done irreparable damage to my psyche, I’m going to be thinking about this forever

- Palandine gestured that she would deal with me and sent the mate on her way.

“So what did you use me for?” I asked.

“What do we ever use each other for?” she replied without hesitation.

“Answering a question with a question is an old trick, Palandine.”

“No trick. I needed a friend.”

“And you don’t need a friend now” I hated the tone that was creeping into my voice.

“It’s complicated, Elim.”

I was afraid to ask why.

“What did you use me for?” she asked.

The question truly baffled me. I only wanted her love. Was that using her? I would gladly have given mine in return.

Still gnawing on concrete over Garak partially reenacting Palandine’s way of approaching him with Bashir in the beginning. At that point he also needed a friend (and he needed someone to run to Sisko like ‘THE SPY TALKED TO ME :D’ to deliver intel through so he was also using him lol.) The way Garak picks up traits from the people he loves like he’s doing the soul version of Odo’s shapeshifting-as-closeness thing because it’s the only way he knows.

- “So it’s Eight,” he said, dismissing me from his world.

“I don’t think you understand, Barkan….” Palandine began to say.

“It’s not necessary that he understand,” I dismissed him from my world.

Barkan… you did not understand what you were doing, getting into an emotionally and sexually charged petty-off with this man. RIP your stupid ass I guess lmao

“I wanted to tell you. But when I realized … I didn’t want to hurt you,” she said with a gentleness that rankled me.

“I’m not hurt. Neither one of you can hurt me. I wish you a successful… partnership.”

Palandine is so interesting!!!! And like here’s one of the things that I think make a big difference in Garak’s relationship with Palandine vs. his relationship with Julian — who tells him exactly the same thing in ‘The Wire’, after all! (I don’t want to hurt you) Because Palandine doesn’t really mean it, does she? She doesn’t mean ‘I don’t want you to be hurting, I want to protect you from being harmed’, she means ‘I didn’t want to be the thing that hurt you; I didn’t want to be faced with your hurt’, while she is doing things that will inevitably hurt him. I think there is genuine affection and care on her side, but they’re in such a fucked up, brutal world and they’re so young.

‘I’m not hurt. Who’s hurt’ says teen crying quiet tears of blood as his world falls to pieces

“I love him, Elim. And I’m also ambitious. I want what he wants. You’ll understand this when you find someone to share your….”

Not me wondering how much of this has echoes to Mila’s relationship to Tain and how that’s part of what Garak reacts to — that survival mechanism of ‘I want what he wants’, subsuming and submitting yourself completely. Which of course is what a Cardassian is supposed to do to the state, and that Garak also does with Tain for the vast majority of both of their lives. The worst part is that Palandine really had some reason to hope for more — she and Barkan start out in a more equal position than it’s implied Mila and Tain ever did, that’s always framed as an inter-class thing, and while Palandine’s family situation is not as grand as Barkan’s it doesn’t seem like it crosses the service class/ruling class barrier. But the structure of the state imposed on every level of society right down to the most intimate and personal areas of life is going to crush the life out of that hope real fast. I’m sorry girl. Wanting to have a fighting chance in this world isn’t the worst sin anyone’s committed and tbf you are like a teen by all accounts

- “My name is Elim Garak. I don’t know where I’m being sent, but I hope you’ll remember me as your friend.”

“When I was told today that I was One Lubak, I was honored… and afraid that I’d lose you as a friend. Thank you. My name is Pythas Lok.”

Neither one of us ever took our eyes off Mila, who was still trying to blend into his surroundings.

Crying gently into my cereal

Garak ‘I wasn’t sure I could ever call him a friend’ vs. Pythas ‘Afraid that I’d lose you as a friend’

Something powerful was stirring deep inside me, and I began to shake. Mila snapped his head to the side, the way he does when he senses light or heat change. Convulsive waves pushed up from my center and tears filled my eyes, blinding me. I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. By the time the convulsions subsided and my eyes cleared, Mila had disappeared into the rock-and-sand home he came from.

Absolutely sobbing my eyes out into my cereal

Spoiler warning: Garak having to go somewhere to be alone after something calamitous happens in his life because that’s the only way he can cry is a theme that will reemerge later and do unspeakable emotional damage to me personally haha

As I hiked back to the Institute, I had the thought that maybe somebody was doing the same thing for me and bringing me back home.

No baby you see someone is doing the exact opposite of this to you right now because you have a basic goodness and capacity for real honest love that Tain doesn’t and he’ll never in a million years set you free just because he loves you and it’s the right thing for you

- And Jadzia is gone. The station is a sadder and grayer place without her. I’m surprised at how keenly I feel her absence. Even though I know that her symbiont has been “joined” with another person … well, it’s not the same, is it? Indeed, knowing that Jadzia’s personality is somehow contained along with several others within this other person, I wonder how I would react if we were ever to meet.

The doctor has reminded me that these are personal choices, and it’s not for us to judge how one chooses to mourn. Quite so. Who can even begin to understand another’s grief? “Do you judge people by the clothes they ask you to make?” the doctor asked once. I bit back my response, but the point was well taken.

:’) little soul-healing brush of Julian kindness time

- “What does Tir Remara want with you?” Colonel Kira demanded, ignoring my offer of tea. Immediately an entire picture formed in my head of the scenario her abrupt question suggested: Tir Remara—a spy, perhaps even a changeling, preying upon a lonely Cardassian who was working for the Federation and engaged in top-secret work.

“She wants to have my children,” I replied with a serious look.

“You can’t be serious,” she managed.

“I’m not. Now do you want this tea or not?”

Kira should just have strangled you all those times she wanted to you snarky asshole fhdskja

#a stitch in time #asit #garashir #star trek #star trek ds9 #ds9 #elim garak #The great ASIT first read adventure #<- making that the tag for the rest of the posts!#ds9 meta #well nominally I do SOME analysis between all the keysmashing and nonsense haha #forgive me if I've gotten something wrong in this I've been uh. overexcited! I'm sure I'll be able to think clearly again soon (lying)#julian bashir #I'm not going to tag every char I talk about in this because I do love myself a bit but the good doctor hangs over everything in this book #so he gets his own tag #maybe I'll come back and get them all for book keeping purposes eventually but nOT tonight

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siberat · 27 days

Note

*Slides Monopoly money*

Can I have some Fattytron drabble?

(T/fp, I/dw or E/S I don't mind) Im just thirsting for a fat Mega/tron who's too full yet keeps stuffing himself to get some bot's attention (SW, Rod/dy, Mags or Op im not really picky about ships kek). But yeah, Fattytron being very full-

Never really requested drabbles before so im sorry if it's weirdly worded aaaaaa-

-not Chunkytron ☆

this is a two parter, here is part 1 ! Little bit of a slow start.

Mega/tron x Sound/wave, feeding,

The only sound emanating from the empty room was his grumbling belly. Sure, the mission to retrieve the relic was a bust, but was it really wrong of him to be angry? How hard was it to foil those pesky Auto/bots and their child counterparts? The warlord growled as he busted open a fresh box of energon goodies. He had his supper, consisting of a generous portion of food, and now it was time for dessert.

At least the snacks had been replenished. By who? He didn’t know or care; he just unwrapped the light blue round cake and took a bite. The sweetness soothed his woes, even if just for a moment. Thankfully, he had the whole box to himself.

Cake after cake was devoured, each bite bringing a smile to his lips. His tongue eagerly licked up any cream that smeared over his lips. These treats hinted at vanilla and were ever so moist; it always put Mega/tron in his happy place.

Why?

It was simple. Being stuck working in the mines with next to no pay, one could not afford such snacks. Lunch consisted of liquid energon with metal additives; while it did the job, it wasn’t anything to write home about. However, one would occasionally magically appear in his dreary lunch pail. After admiring the pretty light pink color flecked with blue geode crunches, Mega/tronus would unwrap the surprise. It smelled so lovely- he swore the little round ball just reeked of sweetness! And that first bite lit his taste sensors ablaze.

He felt as if his whole frame was lifted out of those mines and into some kind of nirvana. Each bite brought him so much joy! Sadly, like with most things in life, all good things come to an end. After licking his claws clean, there was no more to consume, and he sat there looking at the empty wrapper.

Ok, he also licked the wrapper clean, but who could blame him?

Now, all these treats were gone, making him feel just the same: sad and nothing to look forward to. The evening would be much more productive if he reviewed his battle plans instead. His rumbling belly did not agree, but there were no more of his favorite treats in stock.

You know when you just want to be alone and not bothered by anyone or anything? Yeah, this is how Mega/tron felt. So, when the door opened in this tucked away room that not many mechs used, you could imagine the annoyed look washing over his face as he gave a death glare at whoever dared to enter.

Once the door fully opened, it revealed Sound/wave's long, spindly form.

Great. Just who the Decep/ticon leader wished to catch him pigging out on sweets- it was a super-duper family-size box nonetheless. And yes, he ate them all; their empty wrappers lying around him didn’t leave any doubt about who indulged in them all.

Primus, Sound/wave better not gripe about it!

Instead, the silent warrior respectfully tipped his helm, acknowledging his leader’s presence, then walked to the pantry.

And cue a loud belly grumble. Mega/tron bent forward and curled his arm over his swelled tummy. With brows furrowed, the gray and purple mech cursed himself for not retreating to his personal quarters.

Perhaps he could just get up and leave?

Well, the sound of the other walking back to the table squashed that idea. He tried to shimmy his midsection out of view. Out of the peripheral view of his optics, Mega/tron saw Sound/wave set a large box down and then take a seat.

Couldn’t Sound/wave take a hint? Indeed, he’d not be this oblivious…

Those thin fingers made quick work of ripping the seal from the box and opening it up. His visored helm took a peek, then rubbed his servos together in what can only be imagined as glee. Then, his servos reached into the box and gently lifted out its contents.

And yes, a stupid smiley face appeared on his visor as a large cake was lifted and set on the table.

Large cake.

It was light pink with blue geode crumbles.

And very, very large!

Mega/tron couldn’t help but stare at the gorgeous sight. This was the biggest of his favored treats he had ever seen! Before he knew it, he was licking his lips and reaching out a claw to help himself.

But Sound/wave slapped his hand away and wagged a finger.

How dare he! Mega/tron’s face scrunched as he growled, watching his subordinate grab a fork and stab into his favorite treat. Just how the slag could Sound/wave eat this? He had no freaking mouth!

But that fork traveled his way, and those furrowed optics grew wide in shock. What the slag was going on here? The treat stopped just short of his lips—so close that the warlord could practically taste the sweetness.

And Mega/tron just stared at the communication officer. Was he being serious? Was he wanting to feed him this cake? While the mech may have been unsure, his belly wanted the attention.

A loud, whining gurgle erupted, demanding to be fed.

And Mega/tron had a ferocious appetite!

And that chunk of cake pressed ever so teasingly against his lips. The spindly blue mech made some clicking noises and tilted his helm to the side.

Mega/tron was no dummy. He got the hint. Hearing the other’s engines purr, it was clear Sounwave wished to feed him. And the sound of the warlord's belly grumbling, he wanted to be fed.

Was there a downside to this?

#chubformers #Siberat drabbles

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txfeline720 · 19 days

Text

Title: Merch woes

Summary: In which Prowl has to deal with abhorrent (in his opinion) merch of himself. Among other things.

Characters: Prowl, Jazz

Warnings: None.

Note: Thought I post one of my fics here. You can find also find it on my Archive of our own and Fanfiction accounts.

---

If there had ever been a time Prowl wished he had laser vision, now would have been great. Perhaps if he glared hard enough, he'd develop the ability through sheer force of will and disintegrate the object that sat ever so innocently on his desk. He hopes so. Logic can go hang itself.

"Not gonna lie," Jazz said, gazing curiously at the thing that managed to earn Prowl's full ire. "I'm kind of surprised they even thought you were marketable. Out of all the mechs here, Bumblebee seems to be the most fit for it." He then smiled. "They got the doorwings right. I'll give them that."

"That is beside the point," Prowl growled. Jazz raised a brow in surprise. Even at his angriest, Prowl wore a mask of restraint, allowing only slivers of his emotions to show in the twitch of his doorwings or the glow of his optics. This was a new development.

"It is completely undignifying and frankly exploitive." He made a vague motion towards it in digest. "I have not, in any shape or form, consented for this...thing, to wear my face."

To describe the said thing, it was ball-shaped and covered in a soft, fluffy white material that resembled a cotton ball having a bad hair day. It was what was attached to it that riled Prowl up. On the front was a head molded to his likeness. Red-horned and scowling. In the back were familiar black and white doorwings, and on the bottom were black flat pads that were supposed to be feet, keeping the fluffy nightmare upright.

"They definitely got the expression down," Jazz laughed.

Cold optics slowly turned to glare at him, hoping to freeze him with their stare alone.

Jazz held up his hands in defense. "I'm just making an observation," he said smoothly.

With a huff, the optics turned their sights back to the accursed pom-pom.

"So, how did you get a hold of one?" Jazz asked.

"I didn't. I opened my door to leave, and there it was, standing there with a note that said, 'They got the look right.' I was then I looked it up and found that some human companies came up with the idea to make stuff with our image, mostly Bumblebee's for some reason." 'Mostly' was an understatement. Mugs, t-shirts, toys for human sparklings, and, for some reason, pillows that were long in length with Bumblebee printed on them in various laying positions. Try as he might, Prowl could not figure out the last one.

Jazz knew. But he wasn't going to say anything, thank you.

"You know," Jazz said. "This could benefit us if you happen to think about it."

In spite of himself, Prowl looked at him with curiosity gleaming through the rock-hard ice in his optics. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you said no one asked you, or to your knowledge, any Autobot to be merchandised, right?"

Prowl nodded in affirmation.

"So, we sue them. But we don't demand that they stop production; we demand a share of the profits that they get. You catch my drift?"

Prowl did catch it, rather reluctantly. "Gain some currency for our use. Financial independence." He sighed, doorwings sagging in defeat. Curse logic. "Fair point. But I am going to firmly insist that all merchandise with my image cease all productions." With that, he started scheduling a meeting with Optimus and the other high rankings to discuss the matter further while simultaneously looking up the best lawyers to hire for the upcoming court battles.

"Great. See you around then," Jazz said, walking towards the door. "Let me know when the meeting is."

"Alright," Prowl said. He had turned away from his desk for a minute, but when he looked back, the scowling puff ball was gone.

"Jazz."

Jazz quickened his pace.

"Jazz!"

"Oh my, would you look at the time? Gotta go." Through the power of cartoon physics, Jazz became a streak of black and white and bolted out of the office, away from the red-horned bull bellowing colorful threats as he charged after Jazz through the halls.

Did Jazz have a death wish? Maybe. But he was going to be scraped before he gave up Little Poofy Prowler anytime soon.

---

Note: The design of the toy was inspired by the drawings of @mattinthehat

#transformers #transformers g1 #prowl #jazz #transformers fanfiction #transformers fanfic

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m4ndysk4nkovich · 5 months

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Ok, if I was gonna write a Debbie ending here’s what I think might be interesting -

Franny gets a scholarship to a private school because Debbie notices her various talents…(I’m thinking maybe Art and English?) and goes to different schools to see what opportunities there are. She’s quickly offered a full scholarship.

Debbie turns down Heidi’s offer and is determined to focus on herself. She wants a fresh start but it’s not immediately obvious what this should be. (I’ve mentioned this before) she strikes a deal with Carl and Tipping to work at the Alibi with them. She takes day shifts so she can be there in the evenings for Franny. She finds she’s good at doing the books and ordering product, she gets some help with the math from Mickey. She has lots of ideas and I think it would have been cool if she had helped organise the anniversary party with Mickey. Her and Franny and Carl move in above the Alibi and make it a home.

Ultimately, she’s happy with her life and it’s all going well. One of the last scenes we see of her is when she gets a text from Sandy saying something like “missing you”. She takes a long look at it and it’s very ambiguous as to whether she’s going to reply or not. An open ending - life is good for Debbie.

calli!! i love this please forgive how late i am lol😭

i actually thought about that whole scholarship thing before, and i like what you said about it. i could see it being something art related, we learn that franny’s pretty artistic in s11 and also debbie was really artistic when she was younger (she sort of still is at the end, but i think she’s busy with her kid and work so she’s less artistic now). maybe she gets accepted into the school liam went to? i could kinda see something happening where franny struggles to make friends in her school because their parents won’t let them play with her (11x02) and they think she’s weird + amy and gemma are gone, so debbie tries to find a new, better school because again, franny’s talented, and also because she doesn’t want franny to be as lonely as she was growing up.

debbie 100% declines heidi’s offer. it pisses me off that people believe she wouldn’t because if you watch the scene and know her as a character you know that she isn’t going. i actually just started a fic about debbie in therapy, so i totally agree with her trying to focus on/better herself. because jesus christ, s11 fucks her up. i love the idea of debbie helping carl and officer tipping with the alibi, i could see it happening. i personally think she’d stick with her welding/her business, but bartending could definitely be a side gig for her. she’d enjoy it (plus she is infamously horrible at dealing with change, and since she grew up around the alibi, seeing it gone would fuck her up and she wouldn’t want to let it go). i think that they keep the house post-s11 for numerous reasons, but if they were to move out, the space above the alibi would be a cool place for them to live.

i wrote a fic about something like what you said with sandy and debbie, but it’s currently on hiatus, however i love the idea of some sort of ending with sandy and debbie. i would be satisfied if they weren’t back together, but at least them getting back together wasn’t off the table. honestly, if sandy showed up to the anniversary party (she should have- she literally walked mickey downn the isle!) and we got like one frame of debbie and sandy talking i’d be satisfied. that’s all i’d need and i’d be okay with how they ended her story. well, maybe not ok… but not as angry as i am. i really just wish debbie the best because john wells put my girl through constant hell in all 134 episodes and she deserves some happiness. i loved hearing your thoughts on this, calli! ❤️

#do you mind if i take some inspiration from the franny going to a private school thing for a fic??#but seriously i love this #she was given one of the shittiest fucking endings (along with lip)#shameless #debbie gallagher #franny gallagher #sandy milkovich #heidi shameless

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xbunny-k · 2 years

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The Actor & I: PART TWENTY-ONE – We Need To Talk, Now, Anastasia

This is part TWENTY ONE of a very long, SLOW BURN series on Austin Butler and a Production Assistant on set of Elvis (2022).

Masterlist here!

Anything italicized is main character’s thoughts!

Warnings: Drinking, Possessiveness, Smut, Fluff, eventual Spoilers for Elvis (2022), language (If i missed anything, please comment so i can add!)

Tags: @manddor @pumkiinpasties @its-funny-til-its-not @karamelcoveredolicity @butlerstyles @feral4austinbutler @mirandastuckinthe80s @emilykolchivans @atombombbibunny @francescababy @starry-night-20 @yeetfack-blog @milaa24 @londonalozzy @xo-aurora @chaoticbilly @mamaspresley @sageskywalker @cryingabtab (Let me know if you’d like to be added!)

Please, if you like this, share it, comment, like it and enjoy! xx

After Austin leaves, I decide against laying down on the couch and crying. I jump in the shower and slowly get ready for bed. It’s almost 8:30 PM by the time I’m done with my skincare and decide I’m tired enough for bed. I wake up to no texts from Austin the next day and I’m a little disappointed. I don’t want to be the first one to say anything, so I decide to just get ready for the day.

The next few days fly by at work and by the time it’s Friday, I still haven’t heard from Austin… I know tonight is the big premiere for “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.”

The premiere is a big deal for Austin; not only is it a huge accomplishment, I mean it’s a Quentin Tarantino movie with Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio, but it’s his first big even with the press since his casting as Elvis was announced. You decide to bite the bullet and send him a text. Have fun at the premiere tonight…miss you. No, don’t say that… Don’t be so desperate, Ana.

“Have fun at the premiere tonight, Mr. Presley! xx”

I type up the message and hit send. I don’t want to overthink it and put my phone away. Hours go by and Austin never texts back.

I wish he had his read receipts on… Did I do something to make him not want to talk to me? It’s been five full days… Not a peep since he left my place on Sunday…

Disappointment washes over me, but I look at the time on my computer and see it’s a little after 6 PM. I decide it’s a good time to leave work and begin to grab my things. As I’m putting away my laptop into my bag, my boss, Alison, walks by on her way out and stops by my desk, “Austin looks great at the premiere, which is great for us,” she says. “Oh, I haven’t seen any pictures yet. I wanna see!,” I giggle and pull out my phone.

What the… My heart sinks… Austin looks incredible, but he’s with Vanessa…

I thought he said they broke up… I knew they could get back together, but so quickly?

While I’m panicking in my head, I hear Alison cough. Yeah, Ana, your boss… This is WORK. “He looks great! I can’t wait to check out clips of him talking about his casting in Elvis. I should splice it together or something for Baz’s social media,” I say and smile up at her. Her eyes light up, “That would be incredible because ya know… the social team is already gone for the weekend. Speaking of, go home! It’s Friday night! Do you have plans?” I giggle and say, “No plans, but I feel like I should go out or something. I didn’t really do much last weekend since I had car trouble.”

We head out and when I get to my car, I text my friends asking to go out. I’m usually a homebody, so my friends are not used to me asking to go out. I could use a drink…or four. And a good time with my friends, just letting loose. Immediately, my best friend Kelsey answers, “YOU WANNA GO OUT??? YES LET’S GOOO ALLLLL OUT BBY!” I laugh and head home.

As I’m walking into my apartment, I see over 20 texts from my group chat with my friends. I giggle as I text back the only requirement is there’s alcohol, I don’t drive and it’s somewhere we can sit. I wanna dress up and wear heels, but I’m not about standing in them…

I head to the kitchen, grab some wine and head to my bathroom to shower and get ready for the night. Around 9:30, my friend Nicole texted me she was on her way in an Uber to pick me up. Shit, better get dressed. I head to my closet without a plan and grab a black leather mini skirt, black corset top and some black heels. When in doubt, we just wear all black.

I get dressed, put on some more lotion and perfume, and then go to head downstairs. As I’m finishing my drink, I hear my phone going off with a phone call, not a text. Okkkk Nicole, I’m coming!

I grab my phone, chug my wine and then grab my purse to head downstairs. I answer the phone as I’m headed down to my apartment’s entrance, “Nicole, I’m coming down. I’ll be there in a sec-“ I’m cut off midsentence and my heart falls into my stomach… “It’s uhh not Nicole. It’s Austin…,” says the deep voice on the other end of the phone.

Fuck Ana, why didn’t you check to see who it was? Why is he calling now? Shouldn’t he be with Vanessa? Damn, Ana, cool it. He’s a coworker, that’s it!

“Oh, sorry! Hi Austin! I’m headed out, can I text you tomorrow,” I ask dryly. Yeah, keep it professional… He sighs, “Oh, I guess it is Friday night. I just wanted to talk to you about some stuff…. I guess I can call you tomorrow.”

Don’t do it, Ana. Don’t give in. “Ok, talk to you tomorrow Aus…tin,” I say making sure I don’t call him a nickname and stick to formalities. As I’m saying bye to him and before I hang up, I hear my friend yelling from the Uber, “Dammmmn, Ana! I can’t go out with you dressed like THAT,” Nicole yells.

Before I manage to hang up, Austin groans and says, “Ana, where are you going?” I giggle and say, “I’m not sure, but I really have to go! I’ll text you later.” I hang up and am happy I had some wine before so I had the courage to stick to my guns with him.

I get in the Uber and head off to wherever my friends decided to go. We get to a nice bar and meet up with our other friends. As we’re walking to where they’re seated, my best friend Kelsey gets up and runs over to me, “Anaaaa, you’re here!” I laugh and realize my two glasses of wine have me behind everyone else. I grab my best friend and we head to the bar to get me caught up drink wise. As we’re headed back, my friend takes a video of me dancing with my martini and says, “Everyone on Instagram is about to reply to this shocked you’re out drinking, Ana!” I’m not a big social media user, but I see the video with our location tagged, decide I look good and repost it on my story. I put my phone back down on the table and just catch up with my friends as I unwind and try not to think about Austin with Vanessa. After a few more drinks, I realize my phone was going off. I have a missed call and now a text from… Mr. Presley.

I sigh and check my phone. As I’m reading the text, I gulp and I can feel my cheeks burning. Kelsey must gauge my reaction and she grabs my phone from my hands. I don’t even try to hide it from her and she reads the last message on my phone, grabs my hand and pulls me up dragging me away from our group.

“Ana, this text…. “Anastasia, I saw your post… I’m coming to see you” this is not a friendly text! He has a girlfriend! You work together,” Kelsey scolds me firmly, but quietly so strangers around us can’t overhear. I sigh and lean into whisper, “Can we get another drink? I need to catch you up….”

We head to the bar and as soon as I get a drink, I take a sip and then tell Kelsey everything. The flirting, Austin saying him and Vanessa broke up, him sleeping at my apartment, the way I straddled him, him saying nothing could happen and end with him ignoring my text about the premiere only for me to see photos of him with Vanessa on the red carpet…

Kelsey’s mouth is dropped and she orders us another round of drinks. Uhh, I feel a little drunk… I order a water and feel a bit better right away. Buzzed, but not too drunk.

As Kelsey is going on about how I need to forget about Austin and treat it like work, she stops midsentence. “Uhh, Ana, he’s really here,” she whispers. She plays it off cool, but I don’t. I turn around and see Austin right away. Tall, his dyed dark hair, in jeans and an opened buttondown and his icy blue eyes, which lock on me right away. He looks sad at first and then his eyes darken and he bites his bottom lip. He is definitely checking me out as he looks me up and down slowly. He looks like he’s drinking me in.

Fuck, what am I supposed to do now? I look at Kelsey and groan. I chug my drink and before I’m done, another espresso martini appears in front of me. I grab the drink and go to walk away from the bar back to our friends, but Austin steps right in front of me. Fuck, he’s so hot. I look up at him and he bites his lip while he caresses my cheek with his thumb, he leans down and whispers, “You look so fucking good, Anastasia.”

I have goosebumps everywhere. Why does he have this effect on me? I just wanna jump on him here, in front of everyone. I keep it together and say loudly, “Oh, nice to see you! I didn’t know I invited you. Where’s Vanessa?” He looks a bit taken aback by my words and I regret them right away. What are you doing, Ana?

I don’t know what to say next, but he grabs my chin and whispers into my ear, “We need to talk, now, Anastasia.”

#austin butler fic #austin butler #austin butler fanfiction #austin butler x reader #austin butler elvis #elvis movie #elvis 2022 #fan fic #fan fiction

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rocksandboulders · 3 months

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hey guys :) are you looking for more ways to manifest in your life and/or do you not have time to set aside for manifestations? even if you are not spiritual, these are great ways to build a healthier headspace for yourself.

my BIGGEST tip, which i use on a daily basis, is to turn your everyday tasks into a ritual. here are some examples to use or to find inspiration from:

1- CLEANING RITUALS (showering, bathing, brushing teeth, brushing hair, sweeping, dishes, etc.)

firstly, this is one of the easiest to come up with, and it makes large strides towards positivity, especially when it's something you dread doing. rather than thinking about how badly you want to be done with x task, take a breath and think about how you are doing x thing for y outcome. this can be something as simple as cleansing the space, both physically and energetically, but you can also get more complex with it if there's something with more steps irking you.

when i shower, for example, i use shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and body wash, and i use each item twice. this gets really tedious sometimes, but if i give a reason for why i am doing each thing, talking myself through the process, it slows my brain down, grounds me, and leaves me feeling much more fulfilled by the end. (ex: "i am washing my face to rid myself of any masks i put on that i dont wish to keep." "i am washing my hands to wash off any unsteadiness." "i am washing my chest to relieve my heart of stress.")

if you're interested in my very intricate shower routine, im absolutely happy to give a full outline of products, the intentions i use, the order in which i use them, etc.

2- FOOD AND BEVERAGE (herbs, teas, instant meals, restaurant meals, coffee, etc)

by preparing, ordering, or even grocery shopping, you create many, many different opportunities in which to manifest. in my personal life, i find it easiest to do when i prepare food or drinks for myself.

this can be something as simple as a singular ingredient, and as complicated as every ingredient and technique used! i think, most often, i use this when i make myself tea, because i can just think to myself a singular intention for the cup. "this tea is being made to comfort me." "this tea will slow down my racing thoughts." "this tea will make me sleep easier." etc.

i also like to ask my friends what they would like their intentions to be when i make them food or drinks. you can also set intentions if youre reheating something, re-seasoning something, or even just changing the plate or bowl it's served with.

3-ACTIVITIES (classes, friends, arts and crafts, music, sports, etc)

this is one that i think i overlook a lot, but im trying to make more space to manifest with in my life now. when in regards to activities, i personally spend a lot of time dreading the fact that i have to do anything (bc i would so love to just sit in my bed all day) (and im sure most of us would love that as well), but letting ourselves look at our opportunities negatively in the ways we do means that we push negative energy onto our experiences before they even happen. i, for one, have had my most fulfilling experiences when i have gone in with an intention of what it is for.

this does NOT mean the intention stays the same, or even stays at all. flexibility is key.

but i digress. if you friends are having a beach day and you spend the time leading up to it just dreading that it's going to happen, it's not going to go as well for you compared to if you spent your time being excited and happy. the flexibility comes in when your beach day is suddenly rained out. if youve been a party pooper, youre going to continue to complain, but if youve been optimistic and positive, youre going to work to find an alternative that is just as, if not even more fun.

this is also important in keeping you moving in classes. ("today i learn x." "i am going to x class because y." "my goal for today is to stay fully focused.")

CONCLUSION

this is so fun to me and if anyone wants to talk about it MESSAGE ME this is SO INTERESTING and i have SO MUCH MORE IWANT TO SAY

#manifesting #witchcraft #witches #witchblr #intention

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im-no-jedi · 1 year

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my final predictions (and desires) for TBB season 2 finale

whelp. it’s finally time. wish I could say I’m handling this well, but I very much am not haha. feels like yesterday we were watching Spoils/Ruins of War (and it definitely blows my mind remembering they premiered back in January), and here we are, finally at The Summit/Plan 99. AKA the only episodes not screened to anyone outside of the production team 😰

I’m gonna be real, so far this season has gone in directions that I could’ve only dreamed of. it doesn’t feel real tbh. I say in the most affectionate and complimentary way possible that this season feels straight out of a fanfic (there’s even been plot points and elements from my own fic series that have already happened ROFL). everything feels like it’s going in a certain direction.

and I think we’re in for a pleasant surprise.

up until this point, we’ve seen TBB go through multiple struggles, all the way back to Aftermath, when the boys had to endure Order 66. they went on the run from the Empire. they lost Crosshair. they had no source of income (until meeting Cid). they lost Kamino (and almost died in the process). Omega was put in extreme danger on many different occasions. Echo left the team. and they never found a place to call home outside of the Marauder.

Pabu was a turning point for them. they literally had everything they ever wanted placed gently into their laps. it’s almost too perfect.

there’s only one problem.

the family is incomplete.

Crosshair was the first to go. then Echo. and even though the rest seem to want to stay together on Pabu, would they really? Tech has a love interest now. Wrecker has more things to do on Pabu than ever before. even Omega has a new friend outside of her brothers now. and Hunter... well he can finally chill for more than two seconds, heaven knows that poor man must have shoulders tighter than a rusted screw 😝

the point is, they’re beginning to separate. and let me be very clear that I think this is a good thing. it’s good for families, no matter how close they are, to do their own things outside of everyone else. my own family is as close as can be, and it’s been hard for us to separate at times (it’s actually something we’ve only implemented into our lives in the past few years). but it’s healthy and something I encourage all families to do.

but that’s not the point here. because even though Echo choosing to leave was something the others approved of, clearly it’s had repercussions.

and I would argue that we’ve been seeing those repercussions since the very beginning.

anyone remember back in TCW when Clone Force 99 was introduced as having a 100% success rating? it was even restated again in Aftermath, when Wrecker makes another notch on the wall of their barracks.

now, how has their track record been since leaving the Empire? I think it was made pretty clear at the beginning of season 2, and again in Entombed, that their missions have been less than successful. and yes, it could be accredited to the fact that they don’t have the same provisions that the Republic gave them. but I think it goes deeper than that.

what’s the (1) thing they lost that they haven’t gotten back yet? the (1) thing they had during TCW that was lost the moment they left the Empire.

Crosshair.

let’s go back to the end of season 1 real quick. did anyone else literally jump out of their seat and cheer like someone at a sports game when the five boys were fighting off those droids? you know, the only time since Aftermath that the full TBB theme started playing? yeah. that scene was done in direct juxtaposition to the fight against the same exact droids shown in Aftermath. it was done to show us what we’ve known since first seeing them in TCW.

they work best together.

they need each other.

I shouldn’t even have to speak on Crosshair’s behalf here. we’ve seen his journey, we know he’s finally realized he made a mistake. and he’s even resigned himself to a life of torture in an effort to keep his family safe (oh my poor heart 😭💔). some people think he’s going to sacrifice himself to save everyone in the end, but someone already wrote up a post about that (which I 100% agree with) that should dispel any of those thoughts.

so therein lies my top prediction for the end of this season. they’ve gotten the message from Crosshair. they know there are other Clones on Mount Tantiss. so the main goal for the end of this season is going to be them going to Tantiss and rescuing the Clones imprisoned there, including Crosshair. I would even argue that TBB’s personal main goal will be rescuing Crosshair above all else.

now several things are going to happen in the process of this. since the Empire is looking for Omega to use against Nala Se, her getting captured has to happen at some point. several people think this is going to happen near the very end, during Plan 99. but I have a different thought.

due to several screenshots from The Summit being posted on official social media, we have a slight idea of certain events. and this shot here is what interests me the most.

this looks like they’re trying to escape. Tech and Echo are in the back looking at something (maybe trying to get something working?), while Wrecker and Hunter are at the door looking at Omega, who is in front and has her bow out. notice that although Wrecker and Hunter are holding weapons, they don’t have them pointed out like Omega does. it looks like they’re trying to tell Omega to come back with them.

I’m going to propose that this is where she gets taken. Omega has placed herself in this vulnerable position in an effort to protect her brothers. up until now, they’ve been the ones protecting her. she’s felt like a burden to them (as she admitted to Echo). and we’ve been shown (and told) that she’s now gotten to a level of skill that can at least put her in a more equal place with her brothers.

so I think she’s going to take after her dad big brother and pull a self-sacrifice here so that the boys can get away. she’ll be taken to Tantiss, and the boys will have to rescue her, along with Crosshair and the other Clones.

this is what Plan 99 will be.

in other words, Plan 99 is going to be about getting the band back together.

and due to some implications from Michelle Ang herself, I believe whatever happens on Tantiss is going to be what gets TBB to join Echo in rescuing other Clones going forward.

now, I’ve been very open about how much I do not want TBB to have anything to do with the Rebellion. I’ve been wanting them to have a Pabu type life since the very beginning. but much like the rest of the characters, my eyes have been opened to the truth of the matter. the Clones need help. and I’m ok with that.

there’s no denying my personal feelings about the Clones as characters. for many years, they’ve arguably been my favorite aspect of SW, period. only Darth Vader himself beats them out in terms of how much I love them LOL. so to have this very specific plot point of “the Clones need help” versus the Rebellion’s “the Empire needs to be taken down” is what makes the difference for me. I don’t want them to fight the Empire. but I will be a-ok if they decide to join Rex and Echo in helping to save other Clones.

also! this sets up a good story for the rest of the series! they even have a super safe and private island paradise to bring rescued Clones to if they need to! 👀

so yeah, tl;dr the season finale is going to be about TBB planning to rescue Crosshair and the other Clones from Mount Tantiss, Omega getting captured in the process, and the entire group realizing they can do more and decide to help rescue more Clones going forward. also, Pabu becomes a safe haven for them to return to whenever they need it, as well as a place to bring Clone refugees to. that’s all the stuff I’m positive is going to happen anyway.

there’s one other thing that I think is going to happen, but it’s honestly more so a desire than a certainty. I’ve talked about it before and even made several posts about it. but I really, really, REALLY believe the Clone X project is secretly the beginnings of the Death Trooper program. and I think TBB are going to be the templates for it. again, this is more so a desire than anything else! and I’m more certain about the Clone X aspect of it at least. but... wouldn’t it be cool if TBB were what the Death Troopers were based off of?? tell me I’m not the only one who thinks so 🤩😂

alright, ok, last thing I’m gonna say before ending this ridiculously long post.

I only have (1) thing that I absolutely do NOT want to happen. and it should be pretty obvious.

NOBODY. DIES.

I get it y’all. we’ve been traumatized by literally every other SW related thing out there. but also, I think this show could (and should) be the one instance where everyone makes it out alive. that’s literally the whole point of what they’re heading towards. that’s what we’ve already seen with Howzer and Gregor and even TBB themselves (so far).

I think we need to take the Kiners words literally.

“Everything is gonna be ok” 💙

#the bad batch #star wars the bad batch #tbb season 2 #THIS IS STUPIDLY LONG I'M SORRY #but I have a lot of thoughts ok sldkfjgfdlks #I'm scared but I'm remaining positive #I'm trusting Jen and Brad to give us a good and satisfying story #I also have constant butterflies in my stomach but I digress haha #star warz #tbb spoilers

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nagisasstunningpersonality · 1 year

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Am I too late for this?

💝 A headcanon about their love language🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes💤 A headcanon about their sleep

Luckily I love Karma headcanons so never too late. Karma heacanon asks

A headcanon about their love language

I honestly feel like Karma's idea of love language is insulting the other person (affectionate). He's repeatedly described as a sadist after all. I think this is with some kind of mutual understanding that he doesn't actually mean it. He is also arguably portrayed to be relatively touchy, especially for a Japanese person.

In terms of receiving? Possibly a mix of quality time and acts of service, but it's hard to judge. I think Karma is very slow to trust, at least to the extent of full comfort, so doing things that reinforce trust especially would maybe ring well with him.

A headcanon about their desires/wishes

I mean we all know he wants to control the world from the shadows.

I think most people talk about Nagisa being very single-mindedly goal oriented. My opinion is that Karma is actually very similar in this regard, it's just that the difference between them is work ethic. Nagisa will work his ass off to achieve something. Absolutely, Karma will do the same, but if there's an easier route of doing it he will take advantage.

What I find fascinating about his wish to become a civil servant is that he was inspired to do so because he admired the stability they were able to achieve (likely in reference to the 2011 Fukushima disaster).

The thing about the civil service (and I can only speak to the UK on this but I can't imagine it being too different) is that it's not a career you go into if you want to be rich. Don't get me wrong, you get well compensated especially in the upper levels, but someone as smart as Karma would easily make double the salary in the private sector.

It's also not a career you go into because of your own desires. Like, you pretty much have to set aside your political opinions and prepare to do whatever the current government want you to. You also sacrifice much of your capacity to publicly speak about those opinions outside of work too.

So anyway, as much as Karma talks about 'pulling the strings', and hey maybe he does have his inventive ideas about efficiency at least, it's actually a pretty interesting career choice for his character (I mean, it's called being a civil servant). This is honestly why I love analysis of 7 years skip Karma being there's a lot of potential analytical depth here. But I've gone on too much about it already right here...

A headcanon about their sleep

I think I've settled on him being Not a Morning Person. Clearly he doesn't have a super set routine at least, because in canon we know he skips breakfast - implying he didn't leave time for that. We also get it implied in the graduation album that he sleeps amongst his work... so I feel like he's the type to be productive in the evening before eventually just kind of passing out. I don't know why, but I see him enjoying naps a lot.

When I lived in Tokyo, given that I'm only 5'5, I wasn't far off being too tall for my bed/blankets. So being over 6 foot, I can only see this being a genuine problem for the guy. Like I'm sure he probably has the sense to specifically buy a bed that fits him and such, but there'll always be standard situations. So I see him having to curl up a lot, lest he get very cold feet.

I also see him being a bit of a restless sleeper. Like, sometimes he dream-fights and just thrashes around, waking up in weird positions. Has been known to punch a pillow to death.

#karma akabane #ass class #assassination classroom #ansatsu kyoushitsu

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rithmeres · 1 year

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phantom thoughts:

julia udine was a fantastic christine. really strong vocally, a courageous and compassionate and really solid leading lady. she starts out clueless and scared and grows into a capable and resolute person, even though she’s clearly damaged and still scared. i loved how her ‘wishing you were somehow here again’ came across as a rallying point for the character instead of just a lament. (hoped we would get to see emilie kouatchou in the role, since she was on the posters and promotional material, but alas)

ben crawford’s phantom was good, but unusual. he has weird diction where he tightens his vowels (instead of loosening them like most singers) which was a little distracting, but it wasn’t bad by any means. he played the role more like a straight-up villain which was exciting, considering my favorite and most-watched versions of the phantom are the softer/childish/sympathetic portrayals (we are hugh panaro stans first and people second) the only downside to this bad-guy take is that his change of heart during the final lair seems somewhat abrupt because of his prior villainy, but it was a fun change of pace to have an a-hole phantom. i wish he would have gone with a softer portrayal at times though because he was really really good in the quiet and tender moments!

he also did that thing where he doesnt know what to do with his hands any time he’s around christine, like he wants to touch her but isnt allowed to, ESPECIALLY when she kisses him (and i love it)

let me talk about my favorite ben crawford phantom moment now: the first high note in ‘music of the night’ (the high A♭ on soar). i was in shock bc i always hear vocalists go into falsetto or head voice on just that note and i was fully expecting to hear that little break/switch in the voice on soar but he sang it in full chest voice, and it still sounded gentle and floaty and ethereal.

as an aside, assuming ben stays on until february, i love that the role is bookended by two crawfords

paul adam schaefer was a solid raoul, no complaints. it sounds dismissive when i say it, but i mean it in the best way possible since raoul isnt as nuanced of a role compared to the phantom and christine. there wasnt anything that stood out as particularly different or extraordinary about his performance, nor anything negative. he was good and i liked him 👍

im just in awe of the sheer magnitude of the production. no expense spared. entire setpieces and props used only for five minutes and never seen again. the ensemble is massive and the costumes sumptuous and there’s always something else happening on stage (ballet chorus practicing during angel of music, stagehands running around ‘backstage’, etc) it’s so immersive. not to mention the chandelier 👁️👄👁️. and the pyrotechnics. and the hanging angel sculpture. and th

jaw on the mf floor when the curtain came up on the masquerade. the giant staircase, the entire ensemble in these insane costumes, the fake people on the ends of the rows. i could watch it twelve times and notice something new every time. they really dont make theatre like they used to

the two opera managers (nehal joshi as andre and craig bennett as firmin) almost stole the show. their comedic timing was impeccable and they both were able to inject humor into lines that i’ve seen otherwise played straight by other actors. & one of them is big and tall and the other is shorter and small, so theyve got that big/small comedy duo thing to add to the humor

emma thought meg sang a little flat when she wasn’t in harmony, but i didn’t hear it (emma is a much better vocalist than i am though, so i’ll just take her word for it)

raquel suarez groen as carlotta was just *chef kiss* she’s one of my favorite roles in the musical for the sheer skill required for such an underrated role

i still have no idea how he disappears through that chair at the end.

and finally, here’s me at da majestic, 9 years in the making :3