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jacenotjason · 7 months

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Can we just get some rambles about your AU, like nothing specific, just like little details you haven’t had the ask or idea to express artistically? I just love any little details about this AU (Howdy’s little finger beans)

AAAAA oh my god YES here’s some rambles from the depth that is this AU! Random factoids and snippets and hehehheheh

(Oh hey and checkout the AU itself!)

Hiding this under a ‘readmore’ becasue FUCK I WENT ON A RANT HAUIDA- i tried to stop i swear

OPEN THE FLOOD GATES!!

I HAVE PLAYLISTS FOR ALL THE CHARACTERS!! Ive been thinking about how to share them for awhile bc I LOVE these playlists and they help my brain rot on this AU but mm! Just wanted to get that out there im holding onto these

Something people didn’t catch was that in this animation, which is supposed to take place around the time Eddie moved into the neighborhood, he had his mail hat! But, currently, he doesn’t! That’s not because he lost it, Howdy actually stole it! Howdy immediately attempted to scam Eddie when he first arrived, stealing his hat and trying to sell it back to him, but he did not know that Eddie would not give a fuck. Howdy thought Eddie cared way more about his job then he actually does. So, Eddie’s hat is still currently decaying under Howdy’s desk.

All the characters have trauma or something depressing about them… except Julie! I’m not sure why but I just.. never came up with something reasonable for her backstory. I came up with a lot of ideas, but a lot of them seemed to cliche and controversial? Like, one of my ideas was some sort of sex working trauma, but I thought oooh of course you gave the most feminine character the sex working backstory! Another idea was eating disorder trauma, but again, ooh i gave the fem one the ED! The same thing happened with SA trauma, it all just felt so… cliche. And I felt like I would get a lot of backlash if I tried to implement this. So.. im still working on it!

^ originally Franks backstory was going to be completely SA related, but I changed that. Still not spoiling how, though.

^^ also I really liked the sex working idea! Because I think it would be interesting if thats how Eddie and her met. Not that Eddie bought sex from her, but that they like worked together and slowly became friends! Eddie kept her safe n stuff, beat the shit out of ppl that didnt pay yknow? Explored a deeper level of understanding between them

Ive been daydreaming about attempting to make my own little bootleg “play fellow exhibition” not nearly to the extent that Clown did, but just some sort of fake “restored” things! Maybe even fake interviews with those that remember the show! Ive even recorded some lines, of my own voice, of fake voice clips restored from the show. I haven’t had the confidence to post any of them just yet aa. I think my Eddie impression is IMPECCABLE though. Maybe bc I have a southern accent

^ also if this isnt obvious this AU is still a show being restored by a team, the show is just the adult parody ive created here. Ill be sure to specify if i ever post something restoration-lore-related!

The number of fingers they have is inconsistent, and that is not lore related! I am just an idiot! You might notice that sometimes they have 5, sometimes they have 4. I.. have no actual reason for this. I literally just.. forget! Im literally currently drawing a piece with Julie and Sally where they both have 5 fingers. Why?? Bc the reference I used was of two human girls so!! Just wanted to put it out there, that is not on purpose

I hide a lot of secrets in my art. Bc its fun. If you ever see something in my art thats a little too dark, feel free to up the brightness and see what you find. Does something sort of look like Morse code? Feel free to try it out! I’ll give you a hint, I have used both of these techniques to hide secrets in my art already. The Morse code one is really hard to find, though, so props to you if you find it!

I like to think that the AU’s show is like Rick and Morty. It started out this comedic, very clearly adult-humored show, but slowly the characters had lore! People started watching not for the humor but for the interesting characters. Like when Rick was revealed to have a depressing story with his wife and all that, it was the same as when ppl first found out about Frank’s strange amnesia and PTSD. Like “?? Who put lore in my funny adult comedy??” Yknow what i mean

^ i like to think there was some mind-bending moment where it was revealed Frank doesnt remember anything about his childhood and everyone watching was like :O

Originally in the show, (like season one), the characters were the way they are to make fun of those things. Confusing, but what i mean is that Poppy was a trans woman to make fun of trans people, Eddie and Frank were to make jokes about gay ppl, etc. but SIKE once the show got more seasons and got lift off they became actual characters instead of just jokes! The creators just wanted to make ppl love the show before they made the gay characters actually have personalities, so they couldn’t get cancelled prematurely! HA SUCKERS!!

FFUck okay i think i got it all out of me?? Idk feel free to ask again in like a month maybe more shit will have accumulated in my brain

#thanks for the serotonin!#no seriously #THANK YOU #i needed that so bad #welcome home #welcome home opposite au #welcome home au #eddie dear #frank frankly #sally starlet #howdy pillar #julie joyful #barnaby b beagle #poppy partridge #Wally darling #welcome home arg #welcome home puppet show #welcome home puppet arg

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ialwaysknewyouwerepunk · 2 years

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little freak - a close reading

alright, okay. i’ll give the same disclaimer i put at the top of every post that concerns a song that i know means a lot to a lot of people, especially if those meanings are so diverse. this is my interpretation, the way that i see the song, and it’s just one of many. consider it as such if yours is entirely different, bc that’s more than okay. i discuss it in a very queer context, all about gender and identity, so i am aware that my own experience deeply comes into play here. in any case, i hope it serves as a nice read, and i’d love to discuss this mind-blowing song some more with you all :’)

harry’s house, track 6

LYRIC ANALYSIS

Little freak Jezebel You sit high atop the kitchen counter Stay green a little while You bring blue lights to dreams Starry haze Crystal ball Somehow, you've become some paranoia A wet dream just dangling But your gift is wasted on me

“freak”: outcast, ‘unnatural’ person, freak shows historically a place where queer ppl could find refuge and a home (// ‘peculiar’ boy)

“little” in front of it: endearment; talking to a young/inexperienced person

Jezebel

biblical figure. deeply negative connotation in the christian trad. someone who worships false prophets or pretends to be a “servant of God” while actually being a pagan. historically, (probably) a figure who simply stuck to her own beliefs/identity and was killed for it. bc Jezebel wore make-up before her death, christians associated wearing make-up with vice, with manipulation

now, symbolises promiscuity, sexual immorality, esp. “sexually promiscuous or controlling women”

parallels with old-fashioned ways to (negatively) describe queer people, especially queer men: ‘sexual inverts’, ‘sexual deviants’ etc. - living life differently and being condemned for it

-> deep female connotation here

“you sit high atop the kitchen counter”

“high”: under the influence of drugs / out of reach, away from others, observing

childlike - adds to feeling that it’s about a younger person

kitchen: home, at home, in a house - childhood/at other people’s homes

if she’s sitting on top of her own kitchen counter, it seems like she’s there without actually ‘working’ in the kitchen. not cooking or washing up, just daydreaming/watching/being: inverted stereotype of a woman in the kitchen

+ at home in the kitchen? just likes to be there, no matter what. queer: love for and attachment to things that aren’t traditionally associated with your assigned gender. harry’s love of cooking, being in the kitchen

“stay green a little while, you bring blue lights to dreams”

green - blue he just had to didn’t he: nod to the fandom, acknowledgment of people who see him (more) for who he is (x)

“stay green”: stay young, innocent - theme of growing up, changing

blue light: a thing that usually keeps you awake (if you’ve watched a screen before bed, f.e.) - half awake? daydreaming, dreaming...?

stay young, stay you, because you make dreams interesting/breathe life into dreams

for me, connection to ‘little green’ by joni mitchell: story about her daughter that she gave up for adoption - sweet, tender song for someone who you don’t really know, but you actually know on a deep, intuitive level, bc she’s part of you. lyrics about stars, the moon, blue eyes. a long, happy life. a bright future. harry’s reference to it symbolises (for me) how at this point in his life ‘little freak’ was someone who he only thought about, who he could only think about bc she was mostly unknown, but was still part of him. and no don’t come talk to me about this song then could also be seen from the pov of harry talking about/to a child he wishes for and how he would then treat her no no no don’t do it

a cut bc this shit is long okay! peace <3

“starry haze, crystal ball”

looking up, up at the stars - as if they contain the answers -> astrology, connection with the universe

“haze”: it’s unclear, a blur - can’t see the future, can’t see the bigger picture (yet)

crystal ball: trying to see the future. so desperate for answers when you’re younger (<-> “there’s things that we’ll never know” - fine line)

-> elements all throughout hs3 of astrology, psychic powers, ‘otherworldly’ techniques to look at the self/past/future - acceptance of deeply human way of looking at the world, opposed to cut-dry scientific approach (// following intuition, esp. about identity, gender,...)

‘little freak’ is sat high atop the counter -> she has a better overview, and he’s looking up at her, not yet fully realising she contains the answers

“somehow, you've become some paranoia; a wet dream just dangling”

“paranoia”: worried, panicked (seemingly) for no reason - think other ppl are judging

obsession, something always in the back of his mind

“a wet dream”: she’s a dream, but a very tempting one, and she’s right there, up for grabs. if he could only get over his fears - get atop the kitchen counter with her, dare to let go and go higher up

“but your gift is wasted on me”

he doesn’t dare to join her. her gift, which is who she is, her identity, was wasted on him. his own queerness, which is right there, and there for him, is ‘wasted’ bc he’s afraid of being judged, of being a freak

I was thinking about who you are Your delicate point of view I was thinking about you I'm not worried about where you are Who you will go home to I'm just thinking about you Just thinking about you

“thinking about who you are”: do you know who you are? - still full of wonder as to who this daydream is, this person in the back of his mind

“delicate point of view”: so soft, so gentle, about this ‘part’ of him - she’s sat up high, has the point of view of someone higher up, the overview. she holds the answers. “delicate” like the nuanced, intricate lives of (queer) people who fully accept their own complexities, own depths. also delicate like something that is fragile, something that can break if it were to jump off the kitchen counter

“i’m not worried about where you are” // i don’t know who/where she is - she

he’s telling us that she’s not an entity he’s jealous of, or who can leave, bc she’s him. she’ll always be there. - “i’m not worried”: comfort, peace, security

Did you dress up for Halloween? I spilled beer on your friend I'm not sorry A golf swing and a trampoline Maybe we'll do this again Tracksuit and a pony tail You hide the body all that yoga gave you Red wine and a ginger ale But you would make fun of me for sure

“halloween”:

childhood

gay holiday. when you can dress up as whatever you like, for many ppl a moment of liberation bc they can finally dress as themselves - they’re not wearing a costume. (so the answer to this question would even be “no”) // dorothrry

“i spilled beer on your friend”:

jealous or protective act - stay away from her

if it’s little freak’s friend, it’s a queer friend. “i’m not sorry” - spilling beer on someone as a way of attracting their attention in a clumsy, flirty, teenage way - attracting the other queer person’s attention. + “your friend” then means that the friend was drawn to her, his queerness, from the start

“a golf swing and a trampoline”:

calculated movement, strategic game. business meetings, grownup conversations, tactics <-> free, loose activity. childhood + jumping, trying to go high up in the air, trying to fly

“and”: i am this AND that

in the context of the beer spilling: talking to someone new (and queer) is a jump in the unknown as well as a well thought-out interaction, involving tactics as well as guts, and the urge to be free

“maybe we’ll do this again”: move for second date, part of convo with new friend / apprehensive, careful, shy, hopeful

“tracksuit and a pony tail”

again, (perceived, expected) opposites combined in one: tracksuit: streetwear, baggy clothing, masc. <-> ponytail: femme. put together, care for appearance. or: long hair, but it’s out of the way, not let down (yet)

“you hide the body all that yoga gave you”

wearing that tracksuit

hiding your body in your clothes: very gender

yoga: practice that connects your mind and body. controlled, balanced, calm // trying to find answers/identity in connections, in the bigger picture

“red wine and a ginger ale”:

alcohol and no alcohol - more balance in opposites

his drinks of choice? hers? his and the friend? hers and the friend?

red wine, earlier he spilled beer: red wine representing her? (brit. culture: Men drink Beer, Women drink Wine)

“but you would make fun of me for sure”: not in the context of all the opposites/balances, i think. more in the friend - spilled beer - do this again line. “maybe we’ll do this again?” “yeah, well, as long as you don’t spill beer on me next time!” stunted, dorky flirting. (remind you of something?)

entire verse symbolises how intertwined his (gender) identity and his interactions with others, especially in his love life, are. the traits he hasn’t properly learned how to balance yet, and his insecurities, coming into play when meeting new people, especially someone who has him all flustered

I disrespected you Jumped in feet first and I landed too hard A broken ankle Karma rules You never saw my birthmark

“i disrespected you”: i ignored you, i ignored an entire part of my identity

“jumped in” <-> high atop the kitchen counter. away from her, towards a standard, on the ground, ‘normal’, trying to be the norm, someone that isn’t him

“landed too hard”: tried too hard and it backfired, it hurt him

// if the truth tell, darling, you fell like there ain't enough dying stars in your sky - only the brave

“karma rules”: again, unseen powers that are at play in the universe, things humans don’t understand; secret structure to life. if you go against your intuition, what you know to be right in your heart

“birthmark”: you never saw me at my barest point, my most naked self. you never saw me be reborn, you didn’t live to see my queer birth

trauma changed him, made him lose her, the original ‘little freak’, who was soft and innocent. he still grew and changed, was (re)born, but now his queerness, his identity, is colored by that pain

SYNTHESIS

SOOOoooooOOOOOooo. It’s painful and it’s beautiful. Harry tends to do that with his most intimate songs. As you can see, I see this song entirely as one about gender and identity. When I first heard it, and I’d seen some posts about how it might be a love song for his s/o, I didn’t completely get it. I couldn’t get into that interpretation, it felt off to me. And then I read this post by @swimmingleo and it all clicked.

To me, Harry is speaking to a younger self. Someone he used to know very intimately, yet distantly. (Very ‘Little Green’-ish.) His younger queer self, that was always there, but he didn’t engage with yet. He looked up at her, in wonder, not yet realising that he should join her up there and finally see the world from her point of view. Finally see where so many answers lie. Delicate, because it’s so complicated and nuanced. It’s about a time in his life when he was still figuring out who he was, seeing all these ‘opposites’ that simultaneously held true within himself, that came together and were contained by him. Feeling the urge to fit in and choose. Which he did, choosing for the jump down instead of the climb up with her, resulting in a loss of self. There is loss in this song, but more than anything love of someone, in particular love of himself at a certain time of his life. Before puberty, before figuring shit out. A simple, tender love for your younger self.

I think this is a very universal feeling, but especially for queer people, to have a complex relationship with that younger self. During childhood, you were truly yourself, because it was before you understood what it was to control/suppress your impulses or feelings. Growing up, and going through puberty, can be insanely jarring and scary, especially if you stop feeling at ease in your own body. Social customs start dictating what you should like and look like, and sometimes you loose sight of who you really are, or sometimes you even intentionally hide. You start to feel disgusted by yourself, especially if it includes urges that deviate from the ‘norm’. It’s hard to feel tenderness for your (pre-)pubescent self, especially to muster up some understanding instead of harshness, concerning mistakes you made. Because of this younger childhood self that they so desperately wanted to stuff away to fit in. So, in this respect, Little Freak is a triumph. Of being patient, kind and tender to that self that fucked up, because they were figuring it out. Just like everyone else. It got you to where you are now, and made you who you are now, which is a complex, beautiful person. It’s also an homage to that queerness that was always there. That queerness that isn’t understood when you’re that young, but that you were also not afraid of yet. The one that slowly grows with you until you’re ready, when you stop being scared of it again.

In this album about home, love, change, childhood and identity, I think it makes the perfect centerpiece. It’s written from the point of view of someone with a deep acceptance of himself, someone who feels at one with who he was when he was a child, and sees how he evolved to who he is now. Someone complex and queer, who needed to get high up on that kitchen counter in order to see it all, and understands what it took for him to get there. It’s him reminiscing his childhood, his period of late blooming, and recognising, acknowledging, all of it in its complexities, which are only visible to him now. It’s a love song for the trans identity.

Little Freak and the Peculiar Boy, a one-person show.

#lyric analysis #little freak #my posts #okay well OKAY #i knew this one was going to be intense and YES INDEED IT WAS INTENSE #wow

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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If I see ppl saying this or that theory is stupid in the tag, then yeah, I mean I feel weird posting about agreeing with that theory now bc it’s recently been established by some that it’s a stupid one 😭

Like the whole birthdaygate thing. I love that theory, but after talking about it I’ll suddenly see ppl in the tag hating on the theory, as if I didn’t just specifically mention it 😳 like…

Not saying people can’t have their own theories, but if you’re repeatedly posting in the tag, publicly, where everyone see’s, about how this or that won’t happen no matter what some people think, now suddenly it’s an atmosphere where no one knows if they can even post about those theories anymore, I just feel like it makes me look like an idiot bc I’m now one of those people others think is stupid for believing.

But honestly I’m also an over-sensitive person, so maybe it’s just me.

Like the whole byler confessional thing is something I also have no interest in. Bc it centers on this tendency fandom has to constantly bring up hot takes. Like oh EVERYONE thinks this, but I don’t!!!

Like some ppl will invalidate theories solely bc they’re popular. Like, that will genuinely be an argument for the basis of why a theory isn’t solid, bc a bunch of ppl believe it.

I personally believe a lot of theories, even the crazy ones, bc it’s fun. Like i’d rather believe all of them, and hopefully some are actually accurate, than to just believe what fits with what I want to believe and play it safe.

I’ll even believe theories I don’t necessarily like, but the story is giving me signs that it’s going to pay off. Like the whole byler getting murray’d thing. That’s sort of a hot take now to talk about bc some fans don’t want it to happen, so they’ll kind of push it into obscurity as something they believe won’t happen, solely bc they don’t want it to.

But the thing is, I don’t necessarily want/not want it to happen, that’s beside the point. The show has hinted at a lead up to this for years, that’s why I believe it. So when I talk about it, don’t think I’m pushing that theory on you despite you not personally liking it, and don’t assume I think byler is solely going to get together bc of a snide remark from Murray. It’s simply a theory based on evidence. And it’s gonna be a lot more complex than Murray being the sole reason they end up together. If anything it’s just a small component to the pay-off of that story arc, based on the watching the show as a whole and seeing the signs leading up to it with Jancy and Jopper, followed by an endgame payoff with the main ship of the show following suit, aka byler.

I’ve been in fandom theorizing before. I’ve been disappointed. And I’ve been impressed with fans ability to figure shit out before it played out. Tbh theorizing will always be the best part, especially when the people working on the show really care about where it’s going narratively.

You will never see me on here hating on peoples theories. Bc honestly most of you are smarter than me and I care about what you guys think. I also don’t want to rule anything out definitively, even theories I don’t initially like, bc who knows, they could be right!!

So if I offend anyone by talking about certain theories or headcanons, I’m sorry for that.

If I ever talk about a theory that somehow directly contradicts yours, I’m sorry for that.

I think despite others opinions, I’m just going to try to keep theorizing things, without invalidating other theories in the process.

That just feels like the best way to go about things.

And I’m gonna try to ignore ppl saying they hate this or that take when it applies to me and just post what I want to post and if some agree then yay and if no one does then I’ll stfu bc there’s no point in stirring the pot if no one even agrees with me anyways 🤣

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tiptapricot · 11 months

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I was going to ask abt transfem marc too but they beat me to it lol

You said you had headcanons about the system and their relationship to gender? I'm listening,,,,,,,,,

YUSS!! I’ve talked ab stuff off and on in various other posts, like the ones I’ve done on clothing, Jake’s sense of self/home, and some of these, but I’d love to do a lil dedicated hc post just on my gender vibes for em :-)

Since I’ve just done the one on Marc I’ll do only Steven and Jake in this one, though Marc’s gender stuff can vary, again, based on the headcanons I work with (like sometimes he’s a cis man sometimes he’s a trans man sometimes he’s ?? sometimes he’s transfem, etc).

Some of this esp Jake’s stuff will get into heavy hc territory but I hope I can give my vibes for my thoughts in a cohesive way anyway. This will also ofc be an examination of their genders through the lense of western/American systems of gendering, as well as through English language understandings and descriptions of those experiences. There is so much that can also be filled out culturally and through the lens of different languages when it comes to concepts and connection to gender and the self. So while this is limited to a certain scope, I hope it can still spark some thoughts and ppl are welcome to add on their own ideas as well :-)

Let’s go!

Steven’s vibes to me are generally autigender man/cis+. He would use the label of man, he doesn’t necessarily feel outside of the binary or like he connects strongly with anything outside of being a man, but it’s different for him conceptually and in experience than it is for neurotypical cis men.

He doesn’t really think very strongly about the role he’s meant to play, the stereotypes he’s meant to fit. Gender isn’t really a concept on his mind as far as something to worry about or adhere to or live up to. He’s just… vibing. He’s soft spoken and friendly and snappy and awkward. His experience with others is more shaped by how they accept him for his behaviors than how they perceive him for his performance of masculinity. Because he doesn’t try very hard.

He likes loose clothing for sensory reasons, big sweaters, comfortable pants and shoes, things with patterns that make him happy and relate to his interests. And that includes skirts sometimes, maybe occasionally dresses if they’re long sleeved. He doesn’t think “I’m a bloke I can’t wear a skirt” he just does. He talks to people and connects with them, he’s earnest and kind, he cries and loves his fish. He doesn’t have this same weight that can come with trying to fit within the bounds of gendered expectations.

I feel in some ways if he had to try and conceptualize his own gender it would be strange, a role that’s not exactly been strongly felt or enforced (he wasn’t a part of a lot of the hypermasculine parts of their life, doesn’t have the same input Marc or even Jake do), but he also feels comfortable in being a man, in that being his label and the space he occupies.

He likes suits, he likes being called someone’s boyfriend or husband, he likes being called Mr. Grant, he likes the memories of receiving his tallit on his bar mitzvah, and still leads blessings over wine and challah on Shabbat, but none of it feels like an obligation. He also thinks makeup can be really fun and expressive, he likes wearing earrings or bracelets if they add a pop to his outfit, and he lights the candles on Shabbat without feeling out of place (until he encourages Marc to start doing it, to heal through that reclamation of the motherly role [idea courtesy of @fdelopera ]). He’s just comfortable where he is, not feeling the need to do too much and not feeling a need to change.

His brain experience plays into that conceptualization of gender and self, something that can’t be separated when describing it and in some ways can’t be described. Gender is experienced differently when you do not meet the same social expectations/understand the same social cues for it to be taught to you, when the rules themselves don’t make sense, when you have a blended experience of life.

So Steven is Steven, and that’s all he needs to know, and all he needs to be :-)

Jake is more complicated. Again I’ve talked about it before, I think perhaps even in its own post, but I forget the things I’ve ranted about on discord or in various ppls dms versus actual posts. Most of the text I’ll give here is from a wonderful conversation with spicyboelives over on Instagram, as that’s one of the best times I’ve been able to express my thoughts on this, but the ideas themselves have grown from multiple conversations with multiple people.

Essentially though, Jake’s having a ball.

Gender is one of his ways to reclaim and take hold of his sense of self, of his personhood, and as such it is multifaceted and strange. It has pieces to it, distinct ways of experience. To delve into his gender I have to delve first into my thoughts on his existence, and how he feels about that existence, because they’re deeply related and hard to talk about separately.

Jake Lockley protects. In my headcanon of his role and actions he’s a gatekeeper, a physical protector, and an extractor. He handles things Marc can’t, and his goal is to get them away from the threat or neutralize the threat so they’re safe, whether that be a direct attack, or self harming tendencies Marc may be enacting.

When he’s not out—for fast moments, for adrenaline filled snapshots of an outer world—he keeps them steady on the inside, makes sure whoever’s in the front seat is who needs to be and that no memories are trying to backseat drive them into a car crash. With such limited time out, and such a specific purpose, I think personhood as a concept would be complicated. He doesn’t get to experience things the same way Steven and Marc do, and he’s got a lot of responsibility and awareness from the start on what to do and how to do it.

He’s their transport, their traffic coordinator. He’s not fully a person, and he doesn’t get a chance to Be someone for a long time. So he builds it on his own, finds what he likes, the things he can take and repurpose into his own meaning and use, make them his so he has something to keep and someone to be. He defines his own edges, his own boundaries. Jakob wrestled with G-d and Jake takes that for himself. He is the lock and key for memories and he takes that. He forms himself into a man, into an experience, into a tool and a vehicle and a weapon. He is himself, and he is nothing. He is a man, and he is no one.

Jumping forward, for a moment, there was a joke in fandom early on about Jake using she/her pronouns. This came from that scene at the end of episode two where Khonshu threatens Marc with making Layla his next avatar, but he says “you may not like my next candidate, near and dear as she is to you.”

And as Khonshu ended up always wanting Jake, some people were like “omg she/her Jake real.” And then as me and other people are wont to do, we took that seriously. I’ve seen a lot of transbian Jake headcanons and similar stuff, and I realized I really liked some kind of gnc aspect for him. It tracks. Gender is a part of identity and self definition, and queerness is contradictory and strange and powerful. So then I headcanon Jake with the following:

—he/him for the man, the boy, the cabbie, the smile

—it/its for the tool, the entity, the weapon, the space he displaces, the cracks in between

—she/her like how you reference a car or a boat, taking power from things he loves and the weight of painted nails pushing a flat cap up, or lipstick under a mustache; gender nonconformity is confusing and not stuck to the binary idea of people and men, and he is not wholly a person, not wholly a man

He is Jake, and his boundaries can’t be defined by anyone else but himself because they are his to control and his to grip with moon-shielded knuckles, to pull back beneath the suit and tie into the practiced Someone he’s chosen to be.

In line with this, through a semi-recent conversation, I realized something else for him. Cars get people from place to place, they’re an escape, the rumbling engine and headlights showing the way, and for the system Jake is their transport. He gets them out, gets them away, pushes them off-road when they have to dodge an obstacle.

And I think there’s something there that really connects, that feels right. Humans anthropomorphize vehicles of all types, see them as a friend and a companion, and isn’t that what he is? I feel like Jake really connects with cars on an identity level, just with what feels right, with what he does, with how he experiences the world and the ways his brain connects with things and people and himself.

So like… in more modern terms, I feel like he might be partly cargender/otherkin for cars as well. He’s not a fully human headmate, and vehicles are something he aligns with, connects to, and loves on a self level. Maybe he’d even be a car in headspace sometimes, stuff like that can happen, and I think it’s an interesting layer to explore for him and his actions and who he is (and can even add an interpretation to the Shiva memory scene of the cab in the background being Jake, being him watching over Marc at the time, hovering in the periphery).

With all of it, with all of him, it is complicated. But she knows, she gets himself. Jake doesn’t need others to understand it, to know why it is the way she is. He just is.

Just Jake.

#and there we have it…#I love these guys sm n I love the crossover of gender and life experience and personhood and lack of and wOOOO #moon knight #steven grant #jake lockley #mikes mk meta #moon knight gender #<I’m gonna wanna find this post again ik it #the fruit is talking again #the fruit is headcanoning again #the fruit is answering again

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a-little-lostecho · 1 year

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Okay so, I’m currently working on a magical archives style type post for my ccau oc Yuulo but in looking at the designs i noticed something.

Their s h o e s.

Which admittedly, is a very weird thing to notice but all of them just stood out to me. Ignoring event outfits (only counting things they wear in the main storyline/displayed in the magical archive) each character has 4 different sets of shoes: Ceremonial Robe shoes, Dorm Uniform shoes, Gym Shoes, and Casual/School Uniform shoes. Now, let’s ignore the first two I mentioned in the list bc those are universal designs (excluding Ortho for obvious reasons) and that leaves us with 2 Unique shoe designs per character.

Which is probably obvious in retrospect, but then I started to rly just look at each of their picks individually and everything just feels so well thought out. Every pick feels like it fits the character and thats just so fucking cool that Yana thought out everything for every single one of them since initially in my head I was thinking they’d all just had the same design but nope!

Let me get into some examples now,

Only a handful of them have typical “anime school uniform type shoes” (for lack of a better term im sorry i don’t know shoe types that well—) and even in those cases they’re different in overall design and fit the characters. Those being: Deuce, Trey, Jack, (not gonna include Octavinelle, ill get to them soon), Silver, and Sebek which isn’t a lot! And then again, all unique in their own rights,

Deuce’s are black loafers with a rounded point giving them more of a younger look, Trey has dark brown loafers with a more pointed shape which opposite of Deuce’s makes him look a bit more mature, Jack has much wider dark mahogany loafers which fits with his physique better, Silver’s who defaults to brown loafers again though this time with more of a curved point to them and an indent cut out in the strap, and finally Sebek who has the pointed dress shoe-like black shoes but his are entirely smooth with no laces.

And since I mentioned the dress shoes so much i’ll go onto the ppl who wear those now too. Them being, Riddle, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Vil, Malleus, and Lilia (Vil and Lilia included too bc I dunno where to put them otherwise—)

All mentioned except Riddle, Vil, and Lilia wear the normal style dress shoes you’d see if you just googled it with a few different color variations here and there. Azul’s being brown with laces, Malleus and Jade having black shoes with laces, and Floyd’s being black without much like Sebeks (maybe I should’ve considered Sebek in this category too but eh hindsights)

And smth also interesting to note is that Malleus’ and Jade’s while the same in concept just… feel like they’re from different brands idk I cant explain it I think it’s bc of the way the seems or stitches look but who knows

Then the first three i mentioned, Riddle’s have a deep red portion on the middle part of his shoes, Vil’s are pointed heeled with a flared tongue and decorative strap thats blue and black to match his dorm colors (actually wait im looking at his more and i think they might even be boots..? The tongue throws me off and is a weird design on boots but the gold accent continues up so i think they are boots ahdjfksn), and then finally Lilia’s who like vil, has a higher golden colored heel that adds a bit of fancy to shoes that otherwise would be loafers and thank FUCK his aren’t boots in disguise too.

Something unrelated to shoes that’s also interesting is his pants??? fancy little old man got special pants lol

and i’m getting exhausted writing everything now idek how long i’ve been writing about SHOES but im gonna speed this up now—

Basically everyone else wears sneakers, exceptions being Cater who wears white casual slip on shoes, Leona who has his toes EXPOSED (he wears some sort of flip flop sandals looking hybrid), Kalim who’s wearing arabic curled toes which i believe are called multani khussa with a gold anklet, Epel who’s wearing a pair of very cute decorative boots with red plaid details on them (which i’m willing to bet Vil got for him—they look expensive and less practical than i think Epel would prefer), Rook who’s in tan combat/work boots, and Ortho bc well he doesn’t have feet.

Anyways I’ll talk abt the sneaker ppl and more thoughts on this if people really want me to bc I do have more but i’ve spent the last at least 30 minutes talking about SHOES of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS and I’d like to get back to drawing lmao and don’t rly think this is smth many people would be interested in so <33

Have a nice day u weird person who just read through all my twst shoe related rambles /lh go drink water and touch grass

P.S. (and forgive me any shoe specialists I may have offended, pls feel free to go and educate me for my incorrect descriptions of shoes)

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #twst thoughts #twst shoes #twst shitpost #thoughts #weird thoughts #what do i tag this #what type of content is this s h o e speak

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menalez · 5 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/amaka-nneka/735911907369861121/i-mean-like-the-reason-why-radical-feminists-view?source=share

thoughts? i will send another post later for you to comment on too lol

hm well, to put it simply, i don’t agree but i don’t entirely disagree. she didn’t really put in her worldview here but gave both groups the benefit of the doubt. but i have personal experiences that make it hard for me to be impartial and to give benefit of the doubt in such a way.

i’m sure that not every single submissive involved in BDSM is a victim of abuse, but i recall reading findings that showed that the overwhelming majority are. and from my personal experience, again, the overwhelming majority are victims of abuse. i was a victim of abuse when my interest in it began and when i became involved in that subculture. it’s really rare to find a female submissive who didn’t face abuse, to the point where i personally might’ve come across one at most despite being involved in that stuff & being in such circles for long enough.

in the early/mid-2010s BDSM was being heavily promoted and made more mainstream. rape cases were being dismissed at this point as just “very kinky sex”. this was a defence actual rapists have used. there was this whole image of “consent is important!!” in BDSM circles, but in practice? doms very often didnt follow the rules of BDSM that they’d promote. and sometimes those rules were used to justify violating someone. “well, she didn’t say the safe word, she said stop! so i didn’t stop bc she should say the safe word” for example. you can even find evidence of doms getting giddy over this online.

many ppl dismiss this phenomena with the idea that to truly partake in BDSM u need certain training and whatever else and the abusers that can be very easily found in BDSM aren’t “real doms” bc they don’t follow the rules. this idea that the abusers just didn’t count bc “REAL bdsm involves consent and xyz rules” was used to dismiss every former female sub who would discuss how BDSM was used as a guise to abuse her. of course, when you dismiss every victim as not really victimised by someone partaking in BDSM, you can argue that BDSM has nothing to do with abuse.

there was also a common push directed at rape & abuse victims, telling us that BDSM & CNC are good healthy ways to work thru our trauma, and somehow healing to victims of abuse &/or rape. i was one of those victims who genuinely believed that i was somehow healing myself by letting someone abuse me, despite experiencing constant obvious signs that i did not want it and trying to exit that lifestyle. i genuinely believed that my distress at what was being done to me was just bc of my trauma and if i just do it enough times, i’ll be desensitised to it and get better. it never happened btw, my trauma just worsened and i still have nightmares about my involvement with that stuff a decade later.

to say it didn’t help is an understatement.

the whole thing frankly only normalised abuse to me. i would be crying and distraught and hurting myself and attempting suicide, yet i was so convinced of BDSM being a good thing that i wasn’t even acknowledging the clear pattern of me engaging in these practices and my self-harm and self-hatred and lack of self-respect worsening. i already had skewed ideas of consent and that movement only skewed it further. everything wrong with me & my pain was simply further exacerbated, instead of being healed. it’s like i was being raped and abused over and over and over again. i was miserable. i felt like i couldn’t even say no anyways bc i was subject to certain rules bc i was fully immersed in this “lifestyle” and i thought that if i say yes, then i’m not going to experience rape again, but if i say no, then that creates the chance of me facing rape again. BDSM didn’t help me combat any of my skewed thinking, it only helped me dismiss it and helped the dom abuse me guilt-free. it was additionally traumatic bc this was all occurring within a coerced relationship that i felt trapped in & forced into.

so someone could argue that that was all not a real experience with BDSM. but that experience was what made me see issue with the whole thing, bc i felt like i was less than garbage for getting raped and thought having boundaries is just a way of ensuring i get raped & that i deserve to be hurt. whereas on the other side the dom got off on my pain and having control & power over me. this is not a fair or equal situation with two equal participants. it’s an abused girl trying to overcome abuse in a twisted way and an abuser who gets off on abusing an abused girl & gets off on the thought of me being dead. and i know i’m not the only person who experienced something like this when involved in BDSM. i know theres so many stories like mine.

so let’s say that didn’t count. but several years later, i entered a relationship w a woman who worked as a professionals dominatrix. i was very openly critical of BDSM at that point and she said that she’s only working as a dominatrix because she needs to, to get money to survive with. i didn’t want her involved in that stuff, but also i respected that i cant force her to leave until she’s ready to. anyways, she was a proud sadist (red flag) and had frequent violent outbursts. she enjoyed the moments where she could take her aggression out on her male clients. she had been abused by men in the past and i guess in that scenario, she felt she was finally the one in power. but she didn’t just physically abuse those men. she’d abuse me too. she would try to push me into being involved with this dom stuff, pressuring me to be involved in these “scenes” and pretending she was financially desperate, basically that if i don’t help her then i’m kinda just leaving her to suffer financially. she would randomly choke me or randomly bite me or would randomly lash out at me etc. we weren’t even officially involved with BDSM within our relationship. it didn’t traumatise me in the same way bc i actually wanted to be with her, & i have been able to tolerate physical abuse since childhood, but i cant say it didn’t traumatise me at all how she would verbally & psychologically abuse me. and knowing of some of those sub men she’d have as clients only made me hate the whole thing more. seeing how the BDSM stuff allowed an obvious abuser like her to treat her sadism as a subject of pride only made me more strongly against BDSM.

so… all i can say is that from my own personal experience, doms do tend to be abusers. and i as a former sub was abused by two different self-proclaimed doms. they weren’t these trained professionals, they were just people who got off on hurting other people and turned to BDSM to validate that. and when ur in that situation, it just allows u to justify and validate their abuse and to blame urself for their abuse. it just makes it easier for them to hurt u. so sure.. maybe not everyone in bdsm is an abuse or rape victim, maybe not everyone is an abuser or rapist.. but the whole thing definitely helps abusers & rapists have their way and gives them a nice selection of willing victims.

and i don’t think it’s safe or healthy to enforce the association between pain & sexual desire or to normalise it, for anyone. i don’t think it helps actually curb violent tendencies, i don’t think it helps curb the desire to experience pain or helps heal trauma or anything of the sort. i think partaking in it will only cause mental damage to both parties with one party being even more psychologically harmed bc of how traumatic it is to be abused in sexual contexts that u agreed to. i cant even explain how it feels to feel like u allowed someone to abuse u severely and can’t even blame anyone else for it. i don’t think i’m the only person who got involved in BDSM when in a state of learned helplessness due to trauma. and i know for a fact i’m not the only girl who got involved in BDSM as a child bc i had an entire circle of these friends that were also teen girls & buying into the BDSM nonsense back then. and the whole cycle of causing u emotional and physical torment and then showering u with love & affection when ur in “sub space” is just what abuse victims face all the time in cases of domestic abuse. my dominatrix ex would do exactly that all the time. it felt like i was sometimes with a complete monster and sometimes with a sweet loving woman. it allowed me to justify her actions as not “really her”. subs frequently discuss what is basically dissociation and trauma responses, and then “treating” those symptoms via love bombing from their dom (“aftercare”). look at how pro-BDSM sites put it:

this is literally describing how abuse feels. it’s describing how dissociation feels, and how it feels to no longer dissociate after facing abuse. then they describe lovebombing:

u can get an idea of what submissives are told and how the lifestyle in itself encourages u to just.. let the dom do whatever and give up what u actually want bc ur dom “knows better” somehow:

this is a long answer and got quite personal but.. to summarise… i just don’t agree. i don’t think there’s any actual merit to BDSM. obviously i’m biased by my own experiences and i can already imagine how my experiences can be dismissed but.. i don’t think i can be convinced otherwise after what i’ve experienced. i hold the beliefs i do BECAUSE i listened to the BDSM circles and saw the logic within them.

#wow this was v long but idk how to shorten it

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ki-flor · 6 months

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Hi I just wanted to say I have no connection to either side of this war and it’s awful what is happening to both sides and judging by your posts you do have a personal connection to this (? Correct me if I’m wrong pls!) I’ll be honest and say I’ve filtered tags and phrases to do with everything bc quite honestly I don’t understand all the fine, complicated details and also I come to tumblr to chill and not constantly see all this pain but I understand how that isn’t as easy to do for others who are more connected with this. I’m absolutely all for free Palestine what they’ve endured is awful and of course anyone with one brain cell can understand there’s a difference between the innocent civilians and the actual terrorists/government making this worse. Same for Israel. There’s tons of innocent civilians who have done nothing wrong but be part of a generation born in Israel and again the Israeli government is not its innocent people. To me personally, I read Noah’s post as one of frustration that what is being lost here is the innocent lives being taken. He has family and friends there and it’s people of his faith who are being murdered - ofc he’s going to be upset and worried. I also personally didn’t read it as him calling all Palestinians terrorists.. he differentiates between the innocent and the not. To me he wants peace on both sides and probably would express that more clearly if given another opportunity. I do agree what he said could have been more clear and I hope he does express himself clearer in future. Like I said to me it sounded like he was mad that ppl were being so cruel over an innocent woman who lost her life (who he possibly knew). I do feel like perhaps he should’ve stayed more silent or just thought about things more before just posting stories constantly but in that respect I can’t say I blame him for being upset that his people are being killed. Some of what he’s said to me does come across a little… brainwashy(?) though.. like he’s young and impressionable and maybe his trip to israel to learn about his culture (which he’s allowed to do!) right before this all happened hasn’t helped just how pro-israel no matter what he comes across.

It’s actually so interesting to see both sides being discussed on here bc I have mutuals who are against Noah and those who are for him bc they themselves are Jewish and seeing all the anti-Semitic things that are being said to him… it just goes to show (to me anyway) how complicated and tricky this is. And as someone who isn’t connected to this personally at all will never truly understand.

Anyway if you read this far thank you for reading my ramblings! This was never intended to be a dig at you and if it’s come across that way I truly apologise, I thought you just seemed like someone who would be mature enough to express this thought to!

I honestly don't believe he has bad intentions but it is the impact that matters most. A couple of contradicting statements in what he said. I do think it was worded poorly. You cannot truly support Palestinians if you stand with their terrorists(Israel). The very statement of him saying "stand with Israel or stand with terrorism" is offensively stupid. Perhaps he doesn't believe that all Palestinians are terrorists but you know who might? The Israeli government. That retorhic has been used in American history before such as the aftermath of pearl harbor and post 9/11. What do those things have common? They both led to people being racist to Japanese people and Muslims. To the point where Japanese people were put into internment camps and all Muslims were viewed as terrorists. You think Israel is going to clear up that when they say terrorists they mean hamas or Palestinians in general? When they don't even allow them to return to the land that belongs to them. They don't see Palestinians as human. So yeah people will interpret it as him saying "all Palestinians are terrorists"

I can try and sympathize with his stance on Israel as it's such a close subject to him but there's a lack of care and urgency that he and many celebrities who have spoken in support of Israel show to Palestinians. I do think it's brainwash because there's propaganda coming from Israel that gets played all over news/media. You got people claiming anyone who supports free Palestine is Anti-Semitic which is not the case. You have people believing all Palestinians are in support of hamas. Everyone gets to say their versions of events but Palestinians are struggling to even get their stories out with the cut off of their electricity. They are the ones who have been suffering for years under oppression but you didn't see celebrities chiming in by the masses like now. It's scary how easy they will turn a blind eye to the crimes and treatment Palestinians have faced. It's scary because they support the oppressor since they see stories of innocent people dying but where is that same empathy for all the thousands of Palestinians who die? It's all very selective.

People want to play like there's a way to end this peacefully when the reality is Palestinians have tried doing that to no avail. It's dangerous to take the side of pascifism when you look at the power imbalance between Israel and Hamas. At the end of the day Palestinians with no help from anyone will still be under the occupation of Israeli forces and they will continue to be dehumanized and killed. This to me isn't tricky even without a personal connection. No one should be complicit of this treatment of any human and that's something to be concise about.

#Thank you for the ask this subject has been something perturbing me for the past few days.

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starbornsoulrider · 2 years

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this whole horse girl mess still really confuses me and I do agree with what ppl are saying on here, like sso should use redefine instead of reclaim. but I mean... on the other hand depending on the context “horse girl” can still be used maliciously. Obviously it’s nowhere near as bad as much worse slurs and sso shouldn’t treat it like it is, and that nowadays people say it in a more playful way than mocking way. But I’ve seen people use the term “horse girl” as a way to belittle someone as recent as like... two years ago now I think? and a few times after that.

this incident comes to mind every time sso brings up this whole thing about the term horse girl, and whenever I see people saying no one rlly uses horse girl as an insult anymore. I’ll try to be as vague as possible since I don’t wanna like, expose anyone I guess? but like two or less years ago there was this activist I often saw on my tik tok for you page. I don’t remember her very well or even her username, but a LOT of fascists and trump-supporters targeted her. one day she just posted a normal video of her chilling or playing with her horse, I don’t exactly remember. and the comments were flooded- and I mean FLOODED- with typical trump supporters saying “of course she’s a horse girl” “you’re a horse girl you really think your opinion matters” “shut up horse girl”- yknow stuff along those lines. obviously it was disgusting, and of course those ppl were just saying that stuff cause they didn’t actually have good a arguement, but still. mocking a woman’s interests and saying they made her inferior, typical misogynistic bs.

and there were a few less bad but still kinda sucky uses of “horse girl” I was exposed to. or just like general sneering at having an interest in horses. SSO was what re-ignited my love and interest for horses, but for maybe the first year of playing it I was kind of nervous to express it. I overheard my sister say to her friends “yeah, their thing is horses now” in a tone that felt like... a little mocking, I guess? and I felt the need to speak up and say “o-oh, I just play SSO out of boredom, I’m not actually that horse crazy, haha” and I’m pretty sure I felt the need to repeatedly say “I just like SSO for the weird and wacky story, that’s all!” on multiple occasions, too.

so yeah incidents like that were what made me hesitant to fully express that horses were a big hyperfixation of mine now, cause I felt like all my friends and family would find it silly and cause I had already seen some pretty viscous attitude towards horse lovers before. even now I’m a little cautious talking about it at times. like I feel embarrassed whenever my family makes a remark about my interest in horses sometimes cause deep down I worry that they think it’s childish or something.

anyways, idk where I’m really going with this, I guess I’m saying that yeah there’s DEFINITELY a better way sso could approach this, although I wouldn’t say this “standing up for horse girls” stuff is completely out of nowhere? Idk, I feel like it’s important that “horse girl” can be a playful term but there are times where it’s used in harmful contexts. I mean, it’s definitely not as bad as slurs, and as I said before sso should rethink this and use better wording. it’s just ever since they started this whole horse girl campaign and saw people saying it felt a little ridiculous, I felt like sharing my personal experience with the term, so I supposed now was the time to finally do that. I wasn’t born into the horse world or really grew up with it, though there are quite a few equestrians on the other sides of my family. again, not exactly sure where I was going with this and I have a lot of “ehhhh...” feelings towards SSO’s approach at this topic for several reasons, even though they do seem to have good intentions, I dunno if my input will help at all but I felt like if I was ever gonna say anything about this it might as well be now. not trying to be like “YOU’RE ALL WRONG HORSE GIRL IS A BAD WORD” of course, my experience with the term “horse girl” has been on my mind before the “reclaim horse girl” post was made and the post and people’s reaction to it made me remember it again. I guess basically, I think sso’s heart is in the right place and I don’t think it’s totally out of nowhere but this was definitely not the best way to approach it.

#there’s still a few other things that bother me about this ‘reclaim horse girl’ thing #like how there are still male and nonbinary people this issue applies to #but this is all I’ll post abt it for now #maybe if I sort out my thoughts more I’ll make another post #I just wish sso was a bit more sensitive to this issue :/#sso #shut up blake #again- not trying to attack anyone or prove someone wrong #just sharing my own thoughts and experiences on the matter #maybe my input will help maybe this post is useless I dunno #if anything this was just me writing down my thoughts #so I might not keep this post up #delete later #EDIT: just adding some additional thoughts to this #because to be honest #while I don’t necessarily thing sso is going about this the BEST way #I heavily disagree with people on here saying that it’s pointless or means nothing #obviously horse girls aren’t some super oppressed group #but from what I’ve seen from a few other sso players #it’s still often thought of as cringey or weird or dumb to like horses #as I said in the post even I feel awkward or embarrassed bringing up my interest in horses sometimes!#so like. it’s nice when people reassure you that you aren’t childish or ridiculous because of your interest #so while I absolutely agree that sso should change the wording and acknowledge that this issue isn’t limited to girls #and stuff like that #I don’t really agree that there’s absolutely no point in doing this #anyways that’s my stance I guess #maybe I’ll remake this post idk #I doubt anyone will see these updated tags lmao

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gawayne · 2 years

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I’m looking to start reading some King Arthur stuff, do you have any recommendations for where to start?

oh man hmmmmmmm if you’re totally new to arthuriana I think I would. tentatively recommend the once and future king by t.h. white as a starting point. it’s one of the big ones that covers arthur’s life start to finish, its influence is absolutely everywhere in modern retellings, and it’s a modern book so there’s the advantage of not having to get used to medieval styles of poetry and prose. personally if I hadn’t read it I don’t think I would’ve gotten the emotional attachment to the universe necessary to enjoy denser texts, and there are a lot of really interesting themes and wrenching moments (eg, lancelot’s entire life). however it’s very much worth a critical read because it changes or drops a lot of characters and symbology that’s important to the source material (I think gawain’s characterization is particularly atrocious), and it tends to imbue the text with white’s own biases. overall I’d say it’s a fun place to start but a very limited place to end.

mists of avalon is another big-name modern series, I haven’t read it and I only mention it bc people often rec it to newbies without content warnings. some people love it, some people can’t stand it, the author sucked balls, a look at the wiki should tell you whether the content is bearable for you or not.

the source content for most modern adaptations is usually a mix of thomas malory’s le morte d’arthur, tennyson’s idylls of the king, the lancelot-grail and post-vulgate cycles, and then some random sprinklings of older and shorter texts. the first two are a lot easier to get your hands on. I find malory pretty miserable to read, but there are a looooot of different translations and versions to try (other ppl on here probably have PDFs of some of them). tennyson is pleasant.

those are all BIG BOYS so if you dislike the general style of medlit it might be more fun to get extremely attached to lancelot and then read the knight of the cart by chretien de troyes, or you could get extremely attached to gawain and read sir gawain and the green knight. both are cool but the former is cooler because troyes hated lancelot and you can tell. for a short easy read you could try lancelot and the hart with the white foot. as a random little tidbit I’ll add that I liked the knight with the two swords (meriadeuc) very much and gawain is very funny in it. there are many others I could mention but I’ll stop there for now, I know tons of other ppl here can rec specific translations if you’re interested!

(sleepless knights and knight life are two modern au/reincarnation comedies that I loved, but they’re much better with context so I’d hold off on them)

anyway yeah uh that’s what I would rec. fair warning those texts that chronicle arthur’s life deal with rape and incest and sometimes suicide as plot points, sometimes it’s not treated as a heavy or upsetting event and sometimes it is. just one of them things 🤷

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drinking-straight-milk · 1 year

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my friends name and rate hockey ppl, PART 2

okay, so the last one was….. interesting. i realized i’ll probably only be able to do like two per part bc of the picture limit but we’ll just go with it ok, i’m sorry it’s annoying. to find them on my blog i added the tags “naming” and “rating” so if you look those up you can find all parts. now ONWARD

3. jack hughes

they surprisingly really didn’t go for him like i thought they would, but i get it, i’m kind of embarrassed i find him attractive too

pics i showed:

they got the ick so fast they made me move on after like two 😭😭😭 one kept saying “could you show me like, a good picture of him tho” and i was showing her ones i thought were good!! i showed them a couple more but they just weren’t having it with him even though they admitted he’s conventionally attractive. one said that quinn was hotter tho (i told them they were siblings) so i think someone should tell him

reactions:

the cut off one says oliver for the name btw, which is weird bc someone else named quinn oliver 🤷‍♀️

4. trevor zegras

pics i showed:

the reactions (they audibly gasped at the veins one 😭 also sorry for having to use text again, tumblrs a bitch and so am i ):

“Veiny- 8.2

- swifty

- ARMS

- he looks like her gives good hugs… (i left the typo in lol)

- i want a hug…

- please 🥺 (dw, i hugged her after this)

- NOT THE MUSTACHE (this is where things went south lmao)

- GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME

- COOTIES HOLY FUCK GLPKLOY

- 8.1”

“Baxter (??? 😭😭😭 THATS A DOGS NAME, PLEASE BILLIE), 8.5/10, missionary while staring into his soul (ok fine i’ll give him that one)”

“johnathon

8/10

I think this one’s z”

anyways, i think that’ll do it for part 2, i’m so sorry again for having to make these short 😭it looks so bad but it’s kinda funny bc this is the most effort i’ve put into any post ever

#hockey #hockeyblr #hockey tumblr #nhl hockey #nhl #naming #rating #jack hughes #trevor zegras

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black-is-beautiful18 · 2 years

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i saw that you posted about the ones we burn by rebecca mix. i don’t support racism, i’m a poc myself (not black), and this ask isn’t meant to justify racism but to clarify things because the situation is more complicated than reverse racism story where black people oppress white people.

most of what i’m about to talk about here comes from reviews on goodreads by casey and laura. (can’t link them, but it’s the 4 star review by casey and 3 star review by laura. both are on the first page on goodreads)

i’m not going to repeat everything they say in their reviews but long story short, aramis, the black princess, and her brother, galen, are not in complete control of the kingdom. they’re young and inexperienced and just inherited the throne. much of the troubles in their kingdom was not caused by them and they spend a fair amount of time trying to solve those issues. the main character, ranka, later realizes that she has been lied to about the royals and they’ve been used as a scapegoat and blamed for problems they haven’t caused.

furthermore, the ruling class is not all black and has lots of different skin tones, including white. same goes for the witches, who are not all white, but diverse. it’s not a case of black people as an entire group being superior to and oppressing white people. ranka, the white MC, initially views aramis, the black princess, as privileged due to her royal status and the riches and privileges that come with it, not her skin color.

i say this not because i want to condone racism but because this is a book by a woman that features an interracial lesbian relationship and i keep seeing people rushing to cancel it without any quotes/evidence to back up their arguments. part of me is even a little suspicious about the intentions behind this backlash because i’ve never seen anything quite like it when it comes to other media made for and by straight white guys. i don’t like reverse racism stories, but this isn’t one of them. this genuinely sounds like an interesting story with some good rep and i encourage everyone to check it out.

I saw this on Twitter. Not the reviews themselves but the explanation. While the the ruling class isn’t fully Black, it is still very much a reverse racism story. Racism isn’t simply slurs. It is just as systemic as well. We know this, but ppl have to start actually acknowledging it. The book still contains things that are harmful to both POC and Jewish ppl no matter how small or big it is. I said this in on my post about the book and I’ll say it here: This book will capture the attention of the wrong crowd. We weren’t talking for no reason. No one just decided one day to randomly pick on Rebecca Mix and make these claims. They’re very serious. Not that you think that, but there are ppl who do. Also, this was enough for Chloe Gong to delete her review of the book. She hasn’t addressed it which is sus, but that still should be enough proof that something is wrong. I honestly don’t want white ppl writing Black and Brown characters due to things like this, what happened in Wrath Goddess Sing, and there are dozens of other examples. You can like the book. That’s fine, but that doesn’t make anything go away or make it untrue.

#the ones we burn #wrath goddess sing #rebecca mix #maya deane #unique answers

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aknosde · 1 year

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hi!! im queso again, im going to send some stuff anout tpth if thats cool :)) - tag: "I promise this isn't as sad as it sounds" you lied to me - i like how you describe the different climates in the different months!! im usually not a fan of weather descriptions to start a story but they were interesting :) - the crushing hug!! gaghhh theyre so cute - i absolutely loved everything from the point they reach the jackson-blofis house to the end of the dancing scene.. i had read the sneak peek of sally and grover dancing and that was what got me hooked and waiting for this fic!! may draw that some time - i also remember the flip phone from the six sentence posts!! it's cool and cute despite the sadness of the situation - WOAGH THEIR FIGHT... THAT'S JUST. SO WELL DONE!!! THE WHOLE SCENE!! i think that is where i found annabeth and grover the most in-character in the whole fic and other than the dance it's my favourite part of it. hands down a great moment. i'd quote some lines but they'd take over this ask - the boxes!! THE RECEIPT. i fucking died. - i honestly thought i was the only person who also thought grover's mother had left. i thought i was the only person who thought about him being an orphan in the first place - the memory with percy.... the gughh EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT PART!!!!! - "Just this once, he thinks, I’ll be selfish." i am deceased i am laying down on your front door user aknosde - the receipt. is not inocuous at all. - SALLY GIVES HIM THE KEYS AND. UGH. I KNOW BABY. IT'S HARD BUT WE'LL BE ALRIGHT. DO YOU WANT ME DEAD - clarisse was a great choice for a character to play the role she plays in that point of the story i love clarisse and her and grover interacted very nicely - he cared enough to try and try again. fucking hell - ITS A CHANGE BUT ITS NOT A BAD ONE!!! YES!!! SHE'S GROWING AND LEARNING!!!! - the percy and grover scene is so sweet and kinda sad but sweet and nice and they really know eachother and they have that stupid tiny disagreement but it's resolved so quickly... preserve MY heart bc it's dying with me - THE PRINCESS DIARIES... THEYD DEFINITELY WATCH THOSE FILMS TOGETHER ALL THE TIME - love this fic ive been waitin for it since september or so and AGH,, thank you !!!

oh my god of course thats okay!! this is such an amazing ask im gonna answer it point by point but that'll take a while so it's under the cut!

i put that tag in bc i wanted ppl to know it wasnt all sad!! (also mb bc i cant tell w my own writing after looking at it for so long)

im glad you liked the descriptions, usually they aren't my thing but the passage of time was really important in this one so i wanted it to be apparent!

crushing hug!! my bsf is really good at cracking backs and has several ways to do it through hugs and i thought annabeth would too

im glad you liked that scene. it was inspired by the entire whats going on album and the song dancing with your ghost by sasha sloan and i ended up really liking it too. also it does some pretty heavy lifting by setting the "norm" so you can see how things change, esp vis-a-vis sally, which is signified by grover taking over for annabeth in leading their dance (also your art is so cool if you did that i’d never shut up abt it)

flip phones!! they'll be showing up in my aie fics

im glad you liked the fight and found it in character!!! i felt it was super necessary for the story but also it was so much fun to write!! i love to see them all get angry!!!

packing up your friends' bedroom can be such a personal thing

the fact that grovers lost all his family!!!! and no one ever talks about it!!!!! 😡😫🧍‍♂️

the memory!! also very important to the story but it was also a chance for me to show percy being emotionally intelligent and deeply kind which are things i love him for <3

i think grover deserves to be selfish!!

i love sally jackson so much and while i dont think she's perfect i think she is very deeply good and she cares abt percy and his friends so much!! (also shout out to aftg for making me think abt the significance of keys 24/7)

i love clarisse i love her friendship with percy i love how mean she is and how much she cares ❤️ (also like ik annabeth isn’t a bitch in the books but she is assholeish towards rachel in botl when she’s concerned abt percy and i wanted something similar in this. so the target was drew. along w like,,, everyone else)

i never stop thinking about how percy didnt have any friends until grover and how percy was the first kid that grover treated as an actual friend, not a charge

annabeth is growing and learning!! she has so much growth even between tlo and moa!! the fact that she becomes comfortable saying ily is sooooo important to me and i decided that it was partially bc of grover

i wanted the final scene to wrap up the facets of percy that grover points out through the rest of the story and it was also important to me that we see that things aren't perfect once he gets back and that he and grover have points of contention just like grover had with annabeth. but also they've known each other forever and dont sweat the small stuff. thats real friendship <333

princess diaries!! like i said, i def think there are parallels between percy and mia and whether or not he and his friends realize it at this point i think its one of the reasons he likes watching it

im so glad it was worth the wait!!!

#chipadequeso #asked + answered #fic: to preserve the heart #max.txt #ty for the ask sorry it took me so long to respond!!#long post

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ghoooooooooooooooost · 2 years

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reading log 3 >_>

HEARTLOVEPOWERTEMPLE [ending]

i won’t spoil anything for the 1 person who reads these posts n the all 0.5 of you who are interested in playing this but man. the end of chapter 5 was fucked up n even tho [redacted] [redacted] n it was a happy ending i didn’t feel happy :[

i didn’t regret playing it n i honestly liked the art n vibes a lot 8/10

also i played the softbook by the same creator n made a rabbitsona

boogiepop [ch3]

the drug plot in the anime was something i didn’t really think abt much bc outside of that ep (n even in that ep) there wasn’t that much explanation so its cool to read the novel n feel things clear up

boogiepop spoilers start here ///

so the drug comes from (formerly) dead ppl... i wonder if that’s why the anime decided to make it red or if it was purely an aesthetic-reasons change but it is more disturbing to imagine it as red instead of blue

also ah, they addressed the insensitiveness in the assumption that the missing girls were just slackers who ran away. i think its def a direct commentary on japan now. the oingo boingo reference lol (repetition of ‘no one’ was creepy tho)

boogiepop spoilers end here ///

umineko when they cry [episode 1 (1 hr in)]

the boobs stuff was uhm weird! i feel like i’d like battler at this point if it wasn’t for that... maybe i’ll still like him eventually who knows

also it just hit me that umineko means seagull so whenever we refer to it as just umineko instead of the full title we’re just saying seagull... omg then its the same w higurashi (cicada) but tbf its not like there aren’t books just titled “dog” n stuff

hearing battler call rosa a good mom multiple times when i’ve seen those anime clips is

(he definitely just doesn’t know yet tbf)

the sense of foreboding is really strong n i’m only at the part where they get the guestrooms

#book eating event #^ umineko stuff is in here btw #includes: heartlovepowertemple - boogiepop - umineko

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midnight-stormm · 24 days

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I understand wanting to change it up! It’s really frustrating to be feeling only painful emotions when engaging with the creative process. Especially for something like fic writing, which is really difficult, takes a lot of time and is a labor of love.

In my experience, if the sadness you feel when writing your fic is cathartic, then it can be good to experience that sadness, as a way of helping you process those unpleasant emotions. But sometimes you’re just not ready to process them yet and it gets in the way of having a positive experience with your writing.

I had to drop one of my angsty fics because the scenario I wanted to portray hit way too close to home. I didn’t really know where to go with it for the characters in the story because those irl emotions aren't resolved for me at all, and it only hurts! Maybe one day I’ll figure it out and process those tough feelings and finish my fic, but until then, I’m not touching it!

I hope you find a way to engage with writing that feels better for you! Even if that means dropping your WIPs (permanently or temporarily) and starting on something new! ❤️

P.S. I usually just try to write the most self-indulgent thing I can think of, whenever I get stuck like that.

I love this💜 One of my fics that I've posted, there was a scene I had to cut out because I got way into it with the writing and it was like, I didn't want to trigger anyone so I had to cut it. I even have a current fic I was writing that hit a bit close to home and now have to revise it lol. But it's interesting, it's almost like in a sense projecting, if that's the right word, when it comes to writing fics. Because it's all fan fiction,not real, but the emotions I portray on these characters are real and ppl have experience that.

#thanks for the advice!#anon ask

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estrelladeishtar · 2 months

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Update post # ??? Of ??? (I don’t keep track)

Figured it’s probably. About time I make one of these? Keeping this brief mostly cause… Not too keen on like. Disclosing too much.

Tossing under a read more regardless but tl;dr is I guess I’ll probably be making efforts to post a bit more here, but expect that most my stuff be focused on OCs & fanchars, as my pinned post would suggest. Also some personal things although not too much.

Ig first & foremost I should say that well—yeah, as my recent posting would suggest I’m going to… be trying to make an effort to be a bit more active on here. Personally though I still feel like most my activity will be kept moreso to my toyhou.se & discord though, as that’s where I most feel comfortable? For those interested in said TH account, it goes by the same username as here, EstrellaDeIshtar . I’m still in the process tho of updating char info pages & everything, & setting up a boundaries page too that’ll be like… what I’m okay/not okay with wrt my own chars? Which I figure, important to have that linked somewhere here too—will tack it onto my pinned post once done but yeah.

I wanna sorta be able to share more on my ocs & fanchars if i post em here, so like… there’s that, & I might also be trying to loosen up & worry less about only posting polished work? Its a way of just working through perfectionism & all which. Struggle, but. We’re getting there whdsjfb. Main reason I re-state that i want focus on ocs & fanchars is because, well… I just don’t have my heart in it to do fanart, I’ve always had more interest in OC content really. So if you’re still here in hopes of that I will have to ask to unfollow, but if you still wanna be here to see my work in general or my OC & fancharacter stuff… then you’re more than welcome to stick around & I do appreciate it a lot.

Ngl I’ve contemplated also like… making an ask blog or rp blog for my OCs Zion & Ishtar but? We’ll see ig, for now I leave it at a passing thought & also a “if you wanna ask abt those OCs pls do or if you wanna ask abt another OC i post I’m also chill with too”… but if I decide to make said blog I’ll def post abt it

Anyway, ig that’s about it for now w creative stuff?

On the personal side of things… shit’s been a lot. I won’t say much more than that (since I prefer keeping that to either one off ramblings on my personal blog that i delete after a while, or to talking to friends only), & the fact that I’ve been having to work through a lotta personal & emotional matters, along w health stuff—hence why I was away for so much, I guess? On top of personal apprehensions w this site (but tbf, other social media sites also ain’t too great) But, we get through it ig.

Anyway, hoping all of y’all are doing well, apologies for my constant absences here but we’ll see how things go bc I do genuinely wanna share my OC stuff here? Idk though if that would. Really be all that interesting to ppl here, & I’ll have to figure out how to format any OC posting I do end up doing here because when I talk abt em it, tends to be… A Lot. & Ig I worry about just how lengthy my OC posting would get if I were to do that…? Its part of why im leaving myself open to asks too so i can feel i can talk abt em & from there know how much to say/ramble, tho for the most part w making posts abt em myself i need to work out what to post & also. How wcsfdh

But yeah.

#venusian alien’s updates ;

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