#I’ll probably delete this later idk

[justomblr]

tom cruise can be a sugar daddy or sugar baby, idk.

#tom cruise #was in my drafts #dunno what made me thought about this back then #i’ll probably delete this later idk

[katlanacross]

got this barbie baby tee from hot topic the other day 🥰

#one of my favorite shirts now #i’ll probably delete this later idk #idk know what to tag this as #pictures like this aren’t normally my thing #it’s 7 too early for this? idk idk #okay to reblog #mel.txt

[clambuoyance]

:D serotonin….

I’ll take better pictures later but the jacket was made by @lunar-eclipse-bunnies :)))

#im gonna dress up as cassie as well but idk which day yet.. #if u are at a con next week and see a 5’1 Asian with faded dyed hair that’s me baybee #I need to meet yj cosplayers pls…. #I’ll delete this later and take a better photo #:3 #also I’m probably gonna hand out free but shitty stickers :3

[daycourtofficial]

Anyone else have the writer blues/imposter syndrome? Anyone else feel like writing one sentence is an impossible feat?

#like everyone is so nice to me #but idk I open my drafts and I’m like #’wow that sucks what idiot wrote that’ #and idk I’m just ???? #I’m also not reading a ton bc idk I don’t have the energy #the vibes are off and it’s not even the first day of April #I want to write!!! #I just can’t :/ #or can’t help but overthink it #or be too self crticial #idk there are so many wonderful #talented writers on her and I just feel like they’re sooo out of my league #anyway I’ll probably get self conscious about this and delete it later shout out to the one person who read all of this #I’m laying in bed being vulnerable my therapist would be so proud 🫶

[snzluv3r]

welp. i had to stop the antibiotic for my sinus infection because i Am indeed allergic to it and it keeps giving me anaphylaxis so yeah executive decision was made that i shouldn’t risk it :( i’m so frustrated and i’m really starting to feel sick to a point that i could collapse at any moment

#literally had a guy from work i see everyday stop in his tracks and ask me if i’m okay #and i purposefully put on mascara today to mask how horrible i feel #sometimes my sinus pain/pressure and migraines get so severe that i think i would rather just. keep taking the antibiotic #because even though that horrible indescribable dread during anaphylaxis #it’s such a scary horrible sickening feeling like it’s so distinct idk but idk…it eventually goes away #the pain doesn’t unless i finish the whole course of antibiotics #this is so fucking frustrating and i’m so tired i don’t have time #i’m scared i’m going to get pneumonia again #i won’t even be able to go to #the appointment they’re scheduling for me tomorrow until at least tomorrow night and that’s if they even have that #otherwise i’ll have to wait til saturday #god by then i’ll be miserable #i’m so drained and it felt like friday all day for some reason but it’s not ugh #random probably delete later just so annoyed

[cupiidzbow]

#sorry for being a downer I’ll probably delete this later #i was really struggling last night and I feel so guilty cause I feel like I’m really annoying to everyone rn for some reason ……. #like I feel silly again. I feel silly for what I do and what I say and i feel like I’m irritating people a little #I feel really awful about it i feel like i should be ashamed idk……. #eughhh I’ll try to power through it but ough i just want to apologize cause I feel like I’m being w nuisance….. #clenches teeth I’ll try to push it away and work on art but eeehuegegeeg #txt

[clingyduofan]

wip

#delete later #<- will probably forget but oh well #i’m making myself so sad drawing this 😭😭 they make me ill #reaaaally hoping i’ll be able to finish this in time but i’m gonna be super busy so idk >_< #eye contact #zeph’s sketches

[simpin-on-noodles]

Guys, I made a Garfield and Friends oc 😭 I probably won’t do much with her, it depends, but I enjoyed designing her

#Oc #oc art #oc fanart #Fandom oc #garfield the cat #garfield and friends #garfield oc #garfield and friends oc #Knowing me I’ll probably ship her with a character #That character’s Binky #You guys know me at this point #Nah hear me out #tall gardener Gf and short clown bf #I want her to live next door to Jon #You know that one episode with the feline philosopher #Where Binky lives door and he has a pet bulldog apparently #Yep it’s all coming together #Might delete later cause like I said idk if I’ll use her #But I hope y’all like her 😭

[fvcking-damage]

no because. what the fuck with hockey teams being like found families. i’m a queer person that feels isolated and with no direction in life and i see these players being so at ease with each other, loving each other and just?? supportive?? you got friends for life that are your family? just like that? a community of friends and support? of platonic soulmates? you’re all brothers and friends and lovers? bonded by wins and losses? pulling each other through it all? because if you win you win together and if you lose… you’re not alone.

maybe that’s what it’s about? i don’t know

#ryan rambles #i’m drunk and emotional and having a Mental Health Crisis after a shitty day #i’ll delete later probably idk #if i even remember #boston bruins found family #i just want to get hugged and be told i’ll be okay

[my-maehem]

I’m having another style crisis 😀

And here is a wip im doing for a Twitter collab… Sausage is mad at Hemera 🫢

I’ve been wanting to draw for days now but it feels like I can’t draw— then FFXVI came out and Clive is giving me emotional damage

#is it embarrassing that I cried when I played the demo? #I’m a very emotional person— don’t fight me #ngl it was such a refresher to do a bit of realism #anyways… I’ll probably be in my hole for a little longer #gotta finish FFXVI and possibly make fan art of it idk #hphl #hphl mc #hphl oc #hemera fotia #might delete this later— I honestly just wanted to post something because I feel bad for just going silent

[thestalwartheart]

.

#I’m sure Daniel Craig doesn’t need me to defend him on niche corners of the internet #but so help me if I see another rancid take about actors and sexuality and the roles they’re allowed to play #I am going to put this whole app in the bin #say it with me REAL LIFE PEOPLE CANNOT QUEERBAIT YOU #normally I can just roll my eyes and walk away but idk #but insert something here about being a bi person in a straight presenting relationship #with another bi person #watching someone else in a straight presenting relationship get torn to shreds for their complex relationship to sexuality in the public ey #anyway I can’t wait to go and see queer when it comes out and to ignore all the disc horse on the internet about it #okay I’ll shut up now #to delete later #probably

[clambuoyance]

I’ve never been so obsessed with a character so bad that I literally can’t do anything else I’m like the squidward meme watching SpongeBob frolic outside the window stretching a hand out to all the pretty paintings and animations and comics I see in my head but being unable to feel any motivation for it . If only i could use the energy spent to create 20 kon doodles to sit down and concentrate on a single finished full piece I used to be able to make like 5 page comics what happened to me

#sighs yes before anyone says anything IK it’s probably adhd related 😭 #BUT ITS GOTTEN SO BAD I CAN FEEL THE DIFFERENCE IN MY BRAIN HOW DID IT GET WORSE #it’s probably a mix of burnout too but I don’t get tired of drawing ? #it feels like when u get dizzy or change glasses or so #and it’s either everything is wayyy too in focus and you can see literally everything clearly that it hurts ur brain #which doesn’t help given how saturated w information the world is always #and simultaneously somehow everything is blurry or out of focus and I physically have to strain myself to hone in on one thing #I JUST WANNA READ COMICS AND FINISH A DRAWING AND HANDLE WORK AND SCHOOL AND TALK TO MY FRIENDS #ALL IN OME DAY #BUT MY BRAIN IS LIKE. TODAY IS ONLY FOR COMICS. YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ESLE #😫🫶 I’m deleting this later I’m just ranting LMAO #I’m highschool it’s crazy bc I did okay and then honestly i just think my ability to concentrate has deteriorated as the years have gone by #free me!!! #either way I want to lessen my social media and just pick One bc girl I have an Instagram a tumblr and a twitter this is horrible for me . #honestly I’ll probably pick instagram and just post on tumblr when I have art #I already do that #I mean when I have Good art. #IM RAMBLING IDK

[vampyr-bite]

on the one hand i get it but also it’s mad 2 me how people (on the left and right) say that communism won’t work because look at the ussr as if the ussr was a communist country like. i know communism was the stated aim of the soviets but baby they never got there!! soviet socialism turned into a kakistocracy that’s what went wrong!! and the people in power in places like the ussr and north korea are - shockingly - liars so like. they were communist in (sort of) the same way that hitler was a national socialist that doesn’t mean socialism/communism won’t ever work or that you’re an ignorant westerner who romanticises communism if u support it like. the change just needs to be brought round in a different way.

#it’s more nuanced than this but i can’t write a 5000 word essay about this on tumblr #i already did that at uni lol #incremental socialism has proven successful anyway in places like sweden #and ik the excellence of scandinavia is often overstated but u also can’t pretend that things like universal healthcare are bad u know #idk i’ll probably delete this later #;txt

[e77y]

Long but relatively unserious vent/rant below the cut (sorry I added this in bc I realized how long this post is oops)

Being at the center of some kind of internet witchhunt (which ik is kind of buzzwordy but) is literally my biggest fear ohhh my god. Even a small scale one… I think I would Die. Maybe it’s because I had a similar thing happen with my friend group in high school where one of them convinced the others I was like evil and spread all these rumors about me… 😭 He was splitting on me but still. That’s an explanation, not an excuse. And it basically confirmed all of my intrusive thoughts about myself, and my personality completely self-destructed and changed, and I haven’t interacted with any of those people the same way since. I isolated from them for MONTHS and just loathed myself. Bleh

The reason it’s on my mind is bc I’ve seen this happen to friends and mutuals and even just people I’ve followed in small fandoms, where the whole fandom hates them bc of this little drama and like. I KNOW that fandom drama is not the end of the world, but truly I think that would destroy me for months. And I would never be able to set foot in those spaces again :’) Getting a handful of rude comments about a fucking transfem hc I had at like 14 made me stop writing fanfic for YEARS 😭😭😭 sigh. Just bc they said it was ‘out of character for him to want to be a girl’ 🙄 (<- character who canonically felt confident when dressed as a woman btw. initially for a disguise but then she grew to love it. BUT I DIGRESS KNSHFJW)

All this to say I think that’s why I tiptoe around everything I say online… I am SO scared of ruffling feathers, but I know that fandoms are places for like! Having fun! And it’s not a big deal! And it doesn’t affect my real life! But like idk.. I just hate the idea of being hated by anyone. I’m sure that I ANNOY some people, and that’s whatever; I talk a lot and make overly personal posts sometimes (like this lol) but I don’t wanna be HATED yk? And idek if it’s better to be hated and ostracized publicly or resented in secret by people who still interact with you… :( Agh. If you ever have an issue with me, please DM me instead of letting it build up into something worse!

ANYWAY LIKE.. with fandom stuff. Idk. I want to have fun! I want to write and post things on Tumblr and AO3 etc but I am just very scared of peoples’ opinions, especially now that I have a decently popular/well-liked longfic in DnDads. For some reason I have convinced myself that writing bad or self-indulgent NSFW will make everyone hate me lmao. Like girl the POINT of fanfic is to be self-indulgent……….. sigh I need to get out more

^ light-hearted… but also kinda true haha. I stay at home a lot just bc I don’t have many reasons to go out atm and only a handful of close friends to go out with. Hopefully that will change when I move next semester lol. And whenever I get interests, they’re VERY strong and long-lasting, and fanfic writing is one of my main hobbies, so I get REALLY into online communities. And rn that is kind of my little niche fandom Tumblr bubble… which is embarrassing and probably unhealthy but whatever. I just inevitably get a lot of anxiety about things that are important/fun to me (bc OCD), especially bc I’ve never really had mutuals/‘friends’ in a fandom before this, excluding my irls

Anyway this got longer and more vent-y than I intended so I will tag accordingly, and sorry to whoever is reading this lol; I just wanted to get my thoughts written down in a public forum bc idk… Makes me feel less insane when ik other people can see it, too. Helps me not take it too seriously and spiral lol.

#vent #cw vent #rant #delete later #<- like tomorrow morning I’m shre #usually I delete stuff like this immediately but I’ll try to keep it up #was talking to my mom earlier about OCD and intrusive thoughts and whatnot…. #she definitely has it too. like undoubtedly #her intrusive thoughts and compulsions sounded exactly like mine #which sucks for me bc my dad ALSO definitely has OCD (in a more outwardly recognizable way) so! wahoo! double whammy #just feeling kinda defeated about mental health stuff #I feel like it’s never gonna get better #I need to go to therapy or a psychiatrist or SOMETHING #it’s been like 4 years now since I was originally supposed to go lol #and I keep putting it off out of fear (I think) #my friends (irls) have all been getting diagnoses and prescriptions lately #which is exciting for them but :( idk. I feel like there’s no way to medicate whatever I’ve got going on except SSRIs???? #and I don’t really want that #mostly though I’m just scared of going back to therapy or to a psychiatrist bc I think they’ll think I’m lying or crazy or whatever #which sounds stupid when I write it out but idk #I should probably keep a journal but when I’m only writing for my own eyes I just kinda wallow in it and write concerning poetry lol #I like journaling in a way other people can see (even if y’all DON’T like seeing it lmaoooo) bc it makes it feel more real? #and out of my head.. concrete etc. #wackyposting #<- seriously need to change that tag still lol

[theclosetedskeleton]

UGRHJQHJI stress and this feeling of guilt and sorrow is eating me alive tonight i am NOT in a good mood right now omw to start EATING GRASS

#i dont know #i may delete this later #probably #school starting for me is NOT helping too #hopefully when/if I go to sleep I feel better #probably not bc then i’ll realize tmrw is when school starts #IDK WHY BUT IM JUST REALLY STRESSED FOR NOT MUCH OF A REASON #its fucking with me so bad why the fuck did my school have to mess up MY schedule so i dont know where to go on the first fucking day #also #i feel like i need to vent #not about stuff school related but #in general #but i know im not going to #because nobody is going to listen to my vents without shutting me off or saying they have it worse #that second part was directed at my mom but #the only person who will listen to me vent is my qpp #but i dont want to worry him about what im feeling #it shouldnt worry about my problems i just need to keep my problems to myself #damn im reading these tags right now and ig thats what happens when you come from a family who suppresses their emotions #and tell you youre hysterical when you open up 😇 #omg ignore this #closet rambles again on tumblr

[simiaysa]

So far, I have made at least 5 sims, in a attempt to get a story/gameplay thing going in my save file lol. Every sim that you see me make will be apart of the main story, everyone is connected somehow. I still haven’t gotten around to making my main story sim yet. I been trying to write her character chart out so I can get a sense of how she looks and feels like. I also added sims from other simmers to my story, ima tag them when everything comes together but be prepared for some drama lmao.

I have to make everyone’s back story 🥲 Pray for me pls. I should be done everything byyyy the middle of November. (Let us pray 🙏🏾) For now ima just keep introducing and come up with some back stories. Im nervous as hellll cause this my first story everrrrr (I literally went to college for this, I should be use to writing)

#maysa talks #i’ll probably delete this later #I been planning planning #I still have more research to do #ts4 #I should have everything done soon enough #It might be more gameplay than story but Idk