#I’m 19 and my life already feels over | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kamaluhkhan · 3 months

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THE GRUDGE (or: the 7 things luke castellan hated about you)

read part two GET HIM BACK! (or: the 7 reasons you want revenge on luke castellan)

pairing: luke castellan x child of nemesis!reader (gender not specified)

word count: 8.5k

summary: luke hated your guts. he really did. he just hoped that no one could tell how, even after all this, you're still everything to him.

warnings/disclaimer: luke's POV. spoilers for the lightning thief and season 1 of pjo. some heated make-out sessions but no actual smut - MDNI / 18+. mentions of blood + death + alcohol. luke is 19 during tlt but i wrote this with him + reader being 21 by the end of this (this is important for the next part lol). anyways, luke + reader share clothes and lots of intense emotions they maybe possibly don't process in the best way. lots of ANGST - it's a greek tragedy fr!

author's note: welcome to my new hyperfixation! this fic is LONG but i hope she's worth it ♡

♪: the grudge by olivia rodrigo

(i. you have a sharp tongue)

fourteen year old luke was overwhelmed when he first stepped into the hermes cabin. it was loud and overcrowded and no one really seemed to care that they had a new cabinmate. the head counselor showed luke to an empty bed at the back, told him to get settled in, and left without another word. luke dropped his backpack before collapsing on the mattress. it was so thin that he could feel the springs dig into his back.

"you'll get used to it."

luke sat up to see you climbing through the window.

you had a band-aid stuck on your chin, chipped nail polish the color of blackberries, and leather combat boots that looked way too heavy to be wearing in the heat of summer.

“the shitty mattress?”

“i meant the whole chaos of cabin 11, and the way things work around here in general. if you can get used to the shitty mattress, all power to you.”

your tone was friendly enough, playful even. you smiled at him so comfortably it made luke nauseous.

“good to know.” he tried to smile back at you, but his heart wasn’t in it. “i’m luke, by the way.”

“yeah, i know. i’m —”

“y/n!”

you seemed entirely unfazed as the blond who called your name stormed over to you. you rolled your eyes, something only luke could notice, before turning to her.

“someone stole my candy.”

“i’m very sorry to hear that, maddy. gotta be careful around here.” your voice dripped like poisoned honey, deceptively innocent and sweet.

maddy was not having it. she huffed at you. “it was you, wasn’t it?”

“that depends. did you cheat at poker last night? again?”

some of the chatter throughout the cabin paused, heads turning to listen in.

“what? n-no!”

“then you have your answer, maddy.” you exaggerated a sigh, as though you had already won the fight and were annoyed that she came back for more. “now, if you’ll excuse me, i have a new camper to show around.”

chiron had already given them a tour, but luke didn’t protest when you grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the window with you. your hand was warm in his as you dragged him along to the corner of the cabin where a poorly made ladder waited for you.

“come on.” you started climbing, and only stopped to look down when you realized luke wasn’t following you. “best view of camp. trust me.”

a shiver passed through luke. trust didn’t come easy to him. he also didn’t particularly want to return to a stuffy cabin where all he would do was count reasons he did not want to be there.

so, luke followed you. he sat down next to you on the roof and looked out at the sun shining on his new home, but he couldn't help but be slightly bitter. the gods had gotten all of you into this life of endless danger and battles and monsters, and this was all they had to offer in return: a summer camp.

it just didn't seem fair.

there was something else he noticed then. what was it that chiron had said? camp half-blood was supposed to be a safe haven for all demigods.

“i don’t get it. there are only twelve cabins, but aren’t there, like, a million other gods?”

you straightened your posture then, and turned to luke with a newfound interest.

“camp half-blood only has cabins representing the twelve olympians. apparently, they’re the only ones important enough to have children worth recognizing, and they can’t even do that half the time,” you explained, impertinence laced throughout your words. it seemed like something you could never quite get off your chest.

every demigod knew that the gods didn’t appreciate sarcasm. they didn’t particularly like being called out on their bullshit, either.

you didn’t seem to care; you even rolled your eyes up at the sky, as if challenging zeus himself.

“anyways, that’s why the hermes cabin is so crowded. it takes in campers who are unclaimed or whose parent doesn’t have a cabin at camp. like me.”

“so, who’s your godly parent?”

you fiddled with the leather cord on your neck. it held a few clay beads like the other campers, but there was one silver charm he noticed only you wore — scales, by the looks of it. you clutched onto it.

luke realized that, despite your own advice, maybe you resented having to get used to the way things worked around here, and having to hide your resentment. maybe that was worse than having to sleep on an uncomfortable bed for the rest of your life.

"nemesis. goddess of revenge."

"that's....hardcore."

you scoffed and moved on to twisting the silver ring on your index finger. "a lot of people take it that way, and i think it scares them a bit.”

“so that’s why you’re extra nice to new campers, huh?”

“no, i was just in a good mood today.” you smirked.

“guess i was just lucky, then.”

luke couldn’t help but smile at your laugh — sharp, biting. you nudged your boot against his sneaker, which shifted you closer to him, shoulders practically touching.

“what people don’t understand is that it's more about balance, you know? you do good things, and good things happen to you. at least, they should. you do bad things and….” you pulled out an outrageously big bag of candy, dropped it between you and luke, and winked at him. “you face the consequences.”

“that makes sense.” luke leaned over to grab a handful of gummy bears. “like karma.”

“yeah. exactly.”

you bit the head off a red bear, both of you chewing in silence before you added:

“by the way, i’m sorry about your friend.” you swallowed and caught luke’s gaze.

chiron warned him that word would travel fast around camp about what happened to thalia, and luke had prepared himself for anything — anything but your reaction. there was no pity in your eyes; instead, there was a hint of rage, as though thalia had been your friend, too.

“she deserved more.”

luke’s eyes caught the glint of a knife strapped to your belt. he took another handful of the candy you stole, and he thought about the fire and fearlessness behind your words, and, despite everything, it felt right to be with you then and there.

“yeah,” he finally whispered back. “she did.”

we all do.

neither of you said those words, but the suggestion was there, and it felt like a promise.

(ii. you hold on to every stupid, little detail)

“slow down, tiger.”

your voice echoed throughout the arena, and if luke had been fighting a real opponent, it might have gotten him killed. instead, he just stopped mid-swing, sparing another straw dummy from losing its arm.

“left hand,” you noted as you walked past him towards a bench. “you, my friend, are in need of a break.”

luke loosened the grip on his sword. the only time luke fought with his non-dominant hand was when he had overworked the other. he must have switched an hour ago, but judging by how heavy his arm felt, it could have very well been two.

his curls were stuck to his forehead with sweat, his shirt soaked through. he could feel a dull pain behind his eyes, and luke was worried that if he stopped to catch his breath, he would pass out. or, even worse, have to face the reality of the shitty news he’d gotten early that day.

“come sit with me,” you urged. “you’re exhausted, tiger.”

luke bristled at your nickname for him.

sure, luke loved that there was something only you called him, a secret kept between you in plain sight, but it was also a reminder that it was harder to hide behind the hero act when you were around.

everyone else at camp figured the nickname was a playful attempt at calling him strong and charismatic. the truth was that luke once told you that his favorite cereal as a kid was frosted flakes and that he would dream of playing sports as well as tony the tiger. for better or for worse, like most things, you wouldn’t let it go.

case in point: if it was anybody other than you trying to get him to take a break, luke could have just brushed them off with a charming smile and continued swordfighting until his arms fell off, but in the two years since meeting you, luke had never met anyone as stubborn and convincing. like him, it seemed you were willing to fight and shed blood to get your way. luke was never really in the mood to make you bleed, even when feeling like he could burn the entire world down, so he usually gave in to your demands.

as soon as he sat down next to you, you handed him an orange flavored energy drink — his favorite. anything other than water was hard to come by at camp without the enchanted goblets in the dining pavilion, or the right connection in the hermes cabin. he ran out of his stash the other day, but you must have noticed and gotten one of the stoll brothers to smuggle more in.

“thanks,” luke said, ignoring the jolt of electricity that passed through him when your fingers brushed together briefly.

the two of you looked out at the sword arena, and all the straw dummies that luke had destroyed. you wait for him to take three big gulps of his drink before speaking again.

“i guess chiron and your dad decided you weren’t ready for a quest.”

luke exhaled sharply. “how did you —”

“the only time you’d skip out on capture the flag is if something really shitty happened.” you looked down at luke’s clenched fists, and that seemed to be all the confirmation you needed. “you promised annabeth you'd be there, and it's not like you to let her down."

fuck. he had completely forgotten that tonight was annabeth's first time as team captain. this entire week, she had been prepping a winning strategy. it wasn’t like annabeth needed him to win, but luke was her big brother, and he should have been there. you were right — he had let her down.

the realization made luke’s day go from bad to worse.

"i told her you were helping a new camper with an emergency. she didn't believe it, but she adjusted her strategy and we still won.”

“well, thank the gods everything worked in the end,” luke grumbled.

“don’t thank the gods,” you quipped. “thank annabeth chase for her brilliant mind, and me for covering for your sorry ass.”

when luke didn’t indulge in your usual playful banter, you moved closer to him and brushed some curls away from his eyes. your skin warmed his forehead, and the small gesture made him feel better than he had all day.

“look, i’m not going to give you some bullshit inspirational speech about how the gods don’t get to define what a hero is, or how you don’t need a quest to prove that you’re worthy of being one. we’ve each been through that before, and i have a feeling this won’t be our last time, either.”

“then why are you here?” the question came out harsher than luke had intended it to.

“because she’s trying her best to hide it, but annabeth is really hurt that you didn’t show up for the game. i figured the least you could do is suck it up, come to the campfire, and make her those signature luke castellan s’mores. you could probably use one, too, since you haven’t eaten anything since breakfast.”

you were right, again. luke was exhausted, he was furious, but most of all, he was starving.

later that night, luke sat next to annabeth and vowed to make her as many s’mores as she wanted. you’d gone to sit with the hephaestus kids, trying to convince beckendorf and nyssa to join your cabin’s post-campfire party at the beach, even though they had to work in the forges early the next morning.

when chiron made his weekly speech, congratulating the winners of capture the flag and thanking the gods for keeping everyone safe, you and luke caught each other’s gaze from across the fire. you rolled your eyes and luke bit back a smile as you turned back to beckendorf. he noticed your knees were practically touching. did you sit that close to everyone?

luke was looking at you for so long that the marshmallow he was roasting fell into the fire, despite annabeth’s warnings. she handed him another one.

"you should tell her how you feel," annabeth said. "stop being a coward."

whether it was the smell of burnt sugar, the heat of the fire, or annabeth’s comment, luke started to feel dizzy. he did his best to shake it off, asking annabeth for a play-by-play of her strategy earlier that night, but he couldn’t quite get rid of the thought of you.

(iii. you don't care if your clothes are stained with blood)

“i just….i can’t fucking believe you, luke.”

“i don’t get why you’re so upset — you’ve never cared about quests before.”

luke was hoping to break the news to you after capture the flag. unfortunately for him, word travels fast around camp.

annabeth had the two of you scouting the east side for the flag, while she and some other athena kids took the west. you hadn’t found anything so far, which meant that you’d spent the better part of an hour bickering over luke’s choice of companions for his quest. a choice that included charles beckendorf and chris rodriguez, and purposefully did not include you, much to your fury.

before you could continue arguing, luke heard the sound of footsteps approaching. he looked over to you, and you already had your shield and sword at the ready.

a few red defenders emerged from the trees. one charged at luke, but you stepped in so he could deal with the other two. one of his opponents went down fairly easily, but the other put up much more of a fight. metal clashed behind him as you kept fighting as well. you might not have been as skilled a swordfighter as luke, but he knew that you could hold your own, at least until he was finished with the person in front of him.

luke parried his opponent’s strike, causing them to take a step closer. he was preparing to disarm them, just as he heard you yelp and stumble to the ground. it only took a millisecond of his attention, but it gave his opponent the opportunity to elbow him in the face. luke felt a crack upon impact, and pain radiated from his nose; he powered through.

he had to finish this fight, and he had to do it fast. you needed him.

his ears were ringing as he finally knocked over his opponent, kicking away their sword and keeping his foot on their chest. luke turned around to see you having turned the tides, the blade of your sword dangerously close to your opponent’s neck.

you locked eyes with luke, and you both understood — it was time to go. the two of you ran through the forest, as far away as you could before having to stop and catch your breath.

luke removed his helmet to get some air, and dropped his weapons. you did the same. you looked at him, brows furrowed.

“your nose.”

luke licked his lips, tasting blood. the triumph of winning that last fight overshadowed the ache of his potentially broken nose. in fact, he liked the image of a ruthless warrior emerging from the glory and gore of battle, that even though he did not bleed ichor like a god, he still had power.

you, on the other hand, didn’t look impressed. instead, you stepped forward and offered the sleeve of your shirt to wipe away the blood.

“you don’t have to —”

“i know you think you’re a badass walking around all broken and bloody, but you shouldn’t deny your admirers your pretty face,” you teased.

it was no secret that luke had numerous admirers around camp, a fact you loved to tease him about. he was sure that you relished in how flustered that made him. all you had to call him was pretty boy, and luke could be reduced to a blushing mess.

it was pathetic how much power you had over him.

“besides, i wouldn’t have gotten out of that last fight if you hadn’t taught me that disarming technique earlier. i owe you. it’s what we do. we take care of each other, right?”

he couldn’t argue with that.

a few moments of silence passed as you cleaned his face. something shifted as you worked, the flirtatious grin fading away. when you pulled away, your sleeve was stained a dark crimson.

“just tell me honestly,” you finally murmured. “why don't you want me to join your quest?”

luke was genuinely taken aback by the softness of your voice, now devoid of its usual fire. you wouldn’t meet luke’s eyes, but being that close to you, he noticed they were slightly glazed over.

he had expected you to be angry at his decision. he expected you to yell and argue and try to change his mind. luke hadn’t expected you to be so hurt. so broken.

he hadn’t planned on it, but luke decided to tell you the truth then.

“look, karma, if you come with me, my heart wouldn’t fully be in the quest. i’d be so caught up in….well, you.”

a pause.

“is that a bad thing?”

“not usually, no.”

you smirked a little at that, and luke’s heart skipped a beat. it also made his decision even clearer.

“but i need to be focused for this. i need….” he let out a deep sigh. “i need to prove myself. this is my first real chance, and i can’t fuck it up.”

you met his gaze and smiled brightly at him, your signature spark of confidence returning.

“you won’t.”

you reached a hand up to play with his necklace. luke hadn’t noticed how close you’d gotten until your fingers started tracing over those four clay beads. it made his entire body burst into flames.

“i’ve been wanting to do something for a while. and, aphrodite save me, it might be really stupid, but —”

luke took a lucky guess as to where you were going, and crashed his lips against yours. aphrodite knows that he'd been wanting to do that for a while, too.

he often got drunk on the adrenaline of battle, the glory of winning, but nothing was quite like the rush of kissing you for the first time.

it was messy and urgent, both of you aware that, at any moment, you could be interrupted. your noses were bumping together, teeth clacking against each other. the metallic tang of blood lingered on luke’s tongue, but neither of you seemed to care. you even bit his lip slightly, as if you wanted more. armor sat heavy and cold between your chests, preventing you from getting closer. luke had never loathed the protective gear more.

he made up for it by lodging one hand underneath your jaw, and snaking the other beneath the celestial bronze, beneath the cotton of your shirt, admiring how your pulse quickened under his thumb when he grazed the soft skin of your stomach. you tangled your hands into his hair, nails scraping against his scalp. he groaned and felt you smirk against his lips.

luke had kissed a few people before, sure, but never like this: like a knife to the gut, and if you pulled away, luke would surely bleed out and die.

it wouldn’t be a hero’s death, in the traditional sense, but at least he’d die happy.

how many heroes could claim that?

when luke ran out of air, feeling like his lungs were burning, he had to pull away.

you glanced down at luke’s kiss-bitten lips, then back to his eyes. luke flushed under the intensity of your gaze.

“just promise me something, tiger,” you whispered, voice hoarse.

“anything.”

“come back alive.”

luke leaned forward and placed another kiss on your lips, this one much gentler than before.

“i promise.”

(iv. you love like a scar that won't fade)

the nightmares were getting worse.

luke woke up in a cold sweat, taking gulps of air in an attempt to steady his breathing.

“luke.”

your whisper did little to quell the pit of dread growing in his stomach, but it did enough to bring him back down to reality.

he was at camp half-blood (fuck the gods of olympus), in the hermes cabin (fuck you, dad), in a bed next to yours (fuck, if he could tell you what — who — was going through his head, he would).

“i’m…i’m fine,” he murmured back, voice catching slightly on the lie.

like clockwork, you shifted from your bed to his, slipping under the covers. it didn’t matter that it was a hot summer night, and the minute your legs touched his, he could feel himself starting to overheat.

your thumb brushed over the thick edge of his scar, up his cheekbone to the corner of his eye. it had been a year, living with this reminder. a reminder that he had failed, just as much as his father and the olympians had failed him.

luke tried to pretend that he didn’t come back from his quest as a shell of who he once was. after all, it was meant to be his shining moment as a demigod, meant to gain him all the glory and father’s praise he once wished for.

what a fucking joke.

every morning, luke would crawl into a different skin. he welcomed new campers and taught sword-fighting. he laughed with chris and his other siblings and strategized with annabeth for capture the flag. he would be the easy-going, charming, skillful senior counselor who respected the gods and honored them in everything he did.

again: a fucking joke.

nights were different, though, with you so close to him, you who could always see right through him.

every night, luke was a fourteen-year old boy again, with so much rage and resentment he didn't know what to do with it.

of course, you were always you - a bleeding heart underneath layers of armor. you didn't care about fate, or the gods, or the titans. you cared about justice, you cared about what was right and fair.

most of all, you cared about luke.

“you were screaming,” you told him, voice barely cutting through the soft snores and sleeptalkings of your other cabinmates.

“sorry,” he managed. looking at you in the dull moonlight, luke noticed the deep shadows under your eyes.

“it’s fine. you just….you scared me, tiger.”

your hand still rested on his cheek, and for a second, luke hoped you would kiss him, but you didn’t. instead, you told him to try and get some sleep, and sank further into his bed before closing your eyes.

for the hundredth night in a row, luke hoped you couldn’t hear his heart hammering in his chest as you fell asleep next to him.

since coming back from his quest, luke didn’t have it in him to suggest being anything other than friends, and you didn’t push it. there had been a few....moments between you, sure, but nothing more.

luke thought you might have changed your mind, because who would want to be with a bitter, worthless, wannabe hero? then again, that voice haunting his dreams…. luke could change that.

but, at what cost?

(v. you protect people as ruthlessly as a starving dog)

luke could hear you talking to percy jackson outside. though he couldn’t quite determine what was being said, as much as he tried.

you entered the bathroom and instantly caught luke’s eyes in the mirror. you were wearing your faded pyjama shorts with cartoon crows, and a flannel shirt that luke had a sneaking suspicion might have been his. you smiled at him before setting up at the counter, one sink between you.

“what was that about?” luke asked after spitting out a mouthful of minty toothpaste.

“oh, nothing.” you were searching through your toiletry bag for something, and seemed to come up short. “hey, do you have any extra dental floss?”

luke threw some over to you. as you effortlessly caught it, he noticed your knuckles, bruised and bloodied.

“what happened?”

you finished flossing and briefly examined your hands before pulling out your toothbrush.

“it’s not a big deal,” you assured. “some ares kids were picking on percy, and then they started pushing him around, like, really pushing him around, so….”

“....you decided to send them to the infirmary.”

you squeezed some toothpaste on your brush before continuing. “i don’t need you to lecture me about how i shouldn’t be fighting with other campers because i’ve been here longer and i should be a good role model. you know what a good role model does? not let kids beat up other kids and think the worst punishment they’ll get is no dessert for a week.”

luke watched carefully as you jammed the toothbrush in your mouth and brushed with such force, he was worried your teeth might dislodge. he knew that you would shed blood for someone you loved, and that you didn’t particularly care if you had to break rules in doing so, because you believed that what was written was not necessarily what was right.

in fact, luke loved that about you.

no, it wasn’t the fighting that luke cared about — it was who you were fighting for.

percy was a good kid, he really was. luke just didn’t want you getting attached.

“i wasn’t going to lecture you. i’m guessing chiron already did?”

you nodded and spat out what looked like a combination of toothpaste and blood. you rinsed your mouth until the water lost its pinkish hue. once you were done, luke continued his train of thought.

“i just didn’t realize you cared so much about him.”

“about percy?”

luke could tell that he didn’t have your full attention. you were packing your stuff back up, accidentally tossing luke’s dental floss into your bag, but he had more pressing matters to deal with.

“yeah. the kid’s only been at camp for three days, and you’re already acting like his guard dog.”

you finally turned to luke and glared at him.

“maybe. but percy’s sweet and he doesn’t seem like the type to put up with bullshit. he’s been through a lot, and annabeth seems to like him, too. as far as i’m concerned, percy’s one of us, and i’m not going to let anyone push him around.”

luke raised an eyebrow at you. “he’s sweet?”

“yeah. like, just now, he gave me some blue raspberry jelly beans as a thank you. said his mom used to work at a candy store. he also wanted me to apologize to you for him. he feels bad about beating you in sword-fighting earlier.”

you scoffed, like you resented luke for having to apologize to him on percy’s behalf. you definitely did not appreciate that guard dog comment. luke clenched his jaw, seething over what you had just said.

satisfied with his reaction, you gave luke that nauseating smile of yours, tilted your head towards the exit. a truce, because you never liked to fight with luke for too long, and a order, because you knew luke would always follow.

the two of you began walking back to your cabin in the warm mid-june air.

“i wouldn’t say he beat me,” luke huffed. “it was beginner’s luck.”

“sure, tiger. it was beginner’s luck that disarmed the best swordsman we’ve had in the last 300 years.”

you nudged luke’s shoulder with yours, but he recoiled from your touch.

“are you trying to make me feel worse?” luke tried his best to avoid snapping at you, keeping his tone measured.

“i’m just saying that maybe the kid has natural talent and that doesn’t make you any less talented. there’s no need to get jealous.”

luke resisted the urge to growl at your suggestion.

to be clear, he was not jealous. it’s just that luke had spent years of blood, sweat, and tears getting to where he was then, and percy jackson had just gotten to camp.

and, to be even more clear, luke was not jealous of how you were already defending percy with your whole body and your whole heart, the way you did for him.

by then, you reached the front of the hermes cabin. luke could already hear the commotion of what he would need to deal with as soon as he walked in. the burden of being head counselor, one he approached with an elastic smile that could snap at any moment.

you tugged on luke’s sleeve before he could open the door.

“hey. are we okay?”

luke looked down at your fingers grasping the fabric of a sweatshirt he was just realizing was yours. your nails were painted a dark red, now chipped after a week of wear. you had begged luke to paint his nails then, and once again, he gave in. he even started to like the purple you had chosen just for him, so deep it was almost black. the same color you were wearing the first time you and luke met.

he smiled at the memory — a real smile, no plastic — and then smiled back up at you.

“we’re fine, karma.” and he moved to enter the cabin. luke could hear the threat of an argument bubbling up, what sounded like a petty one over a prank gone wrong.

“wait.” you tugged at his (your) sweatshirt once more. “there’s something i wanted to talk to you about, about tomorrow night—”

“annabeth called a meeting during free time.”

“yeah, i know, it’s just —”

“she’ll run through strategy for capture the flag then.”

“one of the aphrodite senior campers asked me to the campfire,” you blurted it out, and luke decided to ignore the sound of a fight breaking out from behind the wooden door.

what in the name of hades were you talking about?

“they asked you out? like…like a….” luke didn’t even want to speak the word, scared it would make it real.

“a date,” you said casually, as if that one word didn’t rip luke’s heart in a million pieces. “i said yes.” an admission that took all those pieces and set them on fire.

sure, in the seven years since you and luke met, you’d each talked about boys, about girls, about dating and kissing them and going further. but there was something about this one that felt different. something about the way you told him.

“but, listen, i wanted to let you know it’s not —”

“good for you,” was all luke said through gritted teeth before someone started calling his name again, louder and more urgently, and he had to duck inside.

(vi. you taste like burning cherries and righteous anger)

your team had won capture the flag, of course. the biggest news of the evening, though: percy jackson was the son of the sea god.

he was a forbidden child, the hero of the great prophecy.

everything was falling into place.

all luke should be thinking about is kronos’ plan, and his role in it, and how a world without the gods of olympus was that much more in reach.

unfortunately, for the time being, he was so consumed by you.

you, from across the campfire, sporting cutoff denim shorts and fresh wounds from the game earlier. you, who had wrapped your knuckles in gauze, concealing their bruising, fixed the chips in your nail polish and stacked rings on your fingers. (for the record: luke had gifted you the one on your left thumb.) you, with dark lips that whispered too closely and laughed too loudly with a child of aphrodite— jordan li.

you hadn’t so much as looked at luke since congratulating each other on another win. when chiron announced his weekly gratitude to the gods at the start of that night’s campfire, you didn’t punctuate your resentment with your usual eye-roll or biting remark. you were too busy giggling at something jordan said.

luke wanted to be the one to whisper jokes in your ear. he wanted to be the one you left lipstick stains on later, along his jaw and down his neck. he wanted to be the one who kissed the blade mark on your shoulder and the bruises on your knuckles.

and yet, hours passed and it seemed that the thought of luke had never so much as crossed your mind. he found himself at an after hours party with a few senior campers on the beach. a lethal recipe: a poorly crafted bonfire, some contraband drinks and you in jordan li’s lap, playing with their hair and pretending luke castellan did not exist.

meanwhile, luke had katie gardner’s full attention. she was talking to him about the strawberry season, potentially leaning a bit too close into luke’s personal space, definitely flirting with him.

luke could have done a lot worse than the head counselor of the demeter cabin, who always smelled like fresh lavender, whose eyes were the bright green of spring grass and whose lips tasted like golden honey.

the problem was that luke only wanted you, and his eyes kept sliding over to where you were kissing jordan’s cheek, and he accidentally called the girl he was kissing by your name, which did not make her happy.

katie threw her drink in his face, told him to wake the fuck up, and walked away.

a chorus of gasps and chuckles erupted as luke stood there, diet coke and vodka seeping into his shirt. the commotion seemed to capture your attention, because you suddenly appeared next to luke, an empty bottle of cherry soda in your hand.

“rough night, tiger?” your voice, that nickname, made luke sick, his face twisting into a frown. you don’t seem to notice or care. instead, you switched your bottle with luke’s and took a sip.

“looks like you were having a pretty good time,” luke practically sneered. “where’s your date?”

“they went to bed.” you swallowed a mouthful of beer, grimacing at its bitterness. “gods, this is terrible. you and i should go on the drink run next time — we have better taste.”

“so, are you and jordan like a thing now?”

you gave luke a smile he didn’t quite understand, but made his stomach churn in ways only you could. “would that be a problem?”

“of course not.” he answered way too quickly for that to be true.

“let’s get out of here,” you suggested. “i think katie is about this close to strangling you with a tree branch.”

luke glanced over your shoulder to where green eyes glared back at him.

nowhere could luke find it in him to care. he wasn’t even sorry. he just shrugged, took the bottle back from you, took his first sip all night. luke almost gagged (because of course you were right, and the stoll brothers had better fake ids than they had taste) but he suppressed it.

“no. i’m good.”

biggest lie he ever said. like there wasn’t anger caught in his throat and jealousy swelling between his ribs.

“go find jordan,” he taunted. “kiss them, show them a good time! isn’t that the reason why you got all pretty?”

you narrowed your eyes at him carefully. your nostrils were slightly flared, and luke took a bit of pride in being able to rile you up.

“look, we haven’t really talked lately, and i think we should.”

“go find jordan,” he mocked once more. “almost all the aphrodite kids are here, and i’m sure you can be quiet enough to sneak into their cabin and if you want a quick fu—”

“luke.” you clipped his name, obviously getting to the limit of your patience with him. “if you want to stay here all night and be an asshole, you’re welcome to. you should know, though, that your happy-go-lucky hero mask is starting to crack and i don’t know if you could deal with the fallout from it shattering completely.”

you leaned in close and whispered that last part, very aware of the chattering that stopped and the eyes that watched the pair of you anxiously. luke was usually good at hiding that part of himself who wanted to burn the world down.

in ways you didn’t realize, you were right: he couldn’t risk revealing it, not now.

not yet.

“do whatever you want, castellan,” you spat out his last name, the combination of letters foreign in your mouth.“i’m leaving.”

luke should be proud of himself. he waited a whole two seconds before following you like a stray dog.

luke didn’t know if he’d ever felt you that enraged by him, and it horrified him. it also made him hungry for more.

“i’m not sure that jordan would want the two of us alone together at night,” he shouted after you, words echoing into the starless sky.

“gods, enough about jordan!” luke practically ran into you with how fast you turned around to confront him. “i was helping them with that stupid aphrodite tradition!”

“you….” luke faltered, all the snark leaving his body. “what?”

luke remembered silena beauregard once explaining the rite of passage to him: to prove themselves, a child of aphrodite had to make someone fall in love with them, and then break their heart.

“why…why would you agree to do that?”

you had reached the dining area by then, and you sat on one of the steps leading to the pavilion. luke stayed a few feet away, looking at you cautiously.

“jordan and i are already friends, and they figured a fake relationship would be the way to avoid anyone from actually getting hurt in the process.”

“you seemed so…so into it, though,” luke stammered, the memory of you in jordan’s lap, laughter bubbling from your lips, still fresh.

“it’s called acting, dumbass.” the camp didn’t rely on electricity, but there were enough torches around that luke could see you roll your eyes. “anyways, i was trying to give you a heads-up last night, but you wouldn’t listen.” you took a deep breath. “and, honestly, i didn’t push it because….i figured i should test a hypothesis.”

a hypothesis? you’d known annabeth for too long.

“what hypothesis?”

you hesitated.

“it doesn’t matter. fuck, this was stupid,” you muttered, and without another word, stormed through the dining pavilion, a short cut to the hermes cabin. your footsteps fell heavy against the marble, and luke’s not far behind.

“what hypothesis?” he asked again.

nothing but rushed footsteps.

“what hypothesis?” luke finally yelled.

third time was the charm, because you stopped in your tracks and faced luke once again. a fire burned in the bronze brazier, where campers were forced to offer up portions of your food to the gods at every meal. its roaring seemed to captivate you, and the flames danced across your face, illuminating all your curves and edges.

“i’m angry at the gods,” you stated.

this caught luke off guard. from the day the two of you met, luke knew you shared that feeling. you’d gotten quieter with your rage as you’d gotten older. luke supposed he got better at hiding it himself, as well.

“i’m angry at the gods for letting bad shit happen even if they can stop it, and for building this world in the fucked up way they did. i’m angry at your dad for the way he’s treated you, but — you, luke castellan.” you finally met luke’s eyes with a gaze so sharp, luke almost felt himself bleed. “i’m also angry at you, and not just for your bullshit tonight.”

your admission felt like a punch to the stomach, and luke was left with no air to breathe.

did you know?

“you haven’t been the same since your quest,” you continued, words slow and deliberate, the way you spoke when you were worried your voice would shake. “and i’ve come to terms with that in the past few years, but you….you’ve never tried to ice me out before. you’ve been acting distant since december, and it’s been driving me insane. do you realize how much i miss my best …..” you swallowed the word friend. “how much i miss you?”

luke hesitated, because what could he say? i know i’ve been distant, but i’ve been busy trying to start a war between the gods. sorry babe!

would you hate him, if you knew?

you had to have known that, despite the distance, luke missed you. for tartarus sake, in the last two days, he’d driven himself mad at you calling a fourteen year old boy sweet, and he was about to combust at the image of you dating someone else, with little care as to the collateral damage.

"you can't just avoid me, makeout with katie fucking gardner, and then….” you trailed off, hiding your face in your hands. whether it was to hide embarrassment or tears, luke wasn’t sure.

a smirk spread across luke’s face at the revelation that he hadn’t been the only one jealous at the bonfire that night. it lit luke up with the confidence he needed to not completely fall to his knees in front of you, beg for your forgiveness for everything he’s done.

“why do you care if i make out with katie fucking gardner?”

as he waited for a response, luke walked towards you until your back hit one of the marble columns.

“why do you care if i’m with jordan fucking li?” you clenched your jaw and looked right through luke. a clear indication that you wanted him to break down first; it wouldn’t be you who yielded this fight.

“because i want to be the one you’re with.” at that point, luke was so close to you that he swore he could hear your heartbeat. he reached out and played with the hem of your shorts. “why do you care if i make out with katie gardner?”

“because.” you drew in a sharp breath when luke’s fingers brushed underneath the denim, across the warm skin of your thigh. you closed your eyes. “don’t make me say it, tiger.”

the desperation in your voice made luke want to do unholy things with you, to you. luke knew you didn’t think of him as a saint, and you never expected him to be one. the reality was that you weren’t much better, either. what was essentially an altar to the gods burned bright next to you, but it seemed neither of you had ever cared less about it than in that moment.

luke would watch olympus fall. he would dethrone the gods and watch their glass castle shatter and find glory in a new world. in the grand scheme of things, he was willing to lose this battle.

in fact, he would have rather betrayed the titan lord himself than waste another second not kissing your lips.

so, he kissed you, and you kissed him back with such force, such hunger, it was ungodly.

no, you certainly weren’t a saint — but you were divine, in the most brutal, intoxicating way. in the way you shuddered when luke lodged a leg between your thighs; in the way you threaded your fingers through the belt loops of his jeans to bring him closer; in the way the metal of your rings burned through the skin of his hip, right to the bone, which made him shudder, and you smile triumphantly against his jaw.

the more he tasted your smirk flavored by cherry soda and the ashes of nearby flames, the more he felt your feral teeth against his neck and your wicked nails digging into his shoulders, the more you tugged on his curls, the more luke thought: maybe.

maybe you would give into your seething resentment, live up to those eye-rolls and snarky comments that got you in trouble with chiron, on the edge of hot water with the gods. maybe you would join the titan army. maybe, just maybe, this time, you would follow luke.

and yet — maybe wasn’t enough if it meant he could lose this. luke wouldn’t risk it, not until he kissed every battle scar and bruise on your body, and you did the same to his.

“wait.”

it was the last thing luke wanted to do, but he complied. he took the opportunity to appreciate the chaos he created: your shirt in disarray, your lipstick a mess, your chest heaving and desperate to catch a breath.

“i promised jordan that we’d keep up our charade for a week, two at the most. do you think we could keep this…” you tightened your fist around the fabric of his shirt. “a secret until then?”

luke responded by pressing his lips to yours once more, because there were definitely worse secrets to keep.

(vii. you wouldn’t hesitate to make him bleed)

luke had just left percy jackson to die.

he should be leaving camp, now, but he needed to see you one last time.

the universe works in mysterious ways, because you were out on a run through the forest, and you crossed paths before he even had time to wonder where you were.

“hey, tiger.” you smiled as if this was a regular afternoon. the two of you would teach your afternoon activities, sneak away during dinner so luke could kiss you in that spot that made you gasp. “wanna join me? i was just wrapping up, but i could be convinced to go longer.”

for a second, he was tempted to. very tempted.

“i don’t have much time.”

you seemed to notice luke’s sullen mood and you dropped your playful demeanor.

luke explained: the messages from kronos in his dreams, him stealing the lightning bolt and helm of darkness to start a war between the gods and framing percy. the plan to destroy olympus that luke had pledged his life to.

percy was surprised at what luke had done, and luke could imagine that the rest of camp would be, too. luke was the golden boy of camp half-blood, everyone’s big brother.

you, on the other hand, didn’t express any sense of shock.

“luke.” you said his name like you weren’t quite sure it was poison. “i’m going to give you five seconds to tell me that you’re joking.”

five seconds of silence passed. you took a few steps back from luke.

“i….i should have told you sooner.”

“yeah,” you scoffed. “you should have. but, you didn’t. did it feel good, having the titan king whispering sweet nothings in your ear? all the lies about how this war is the only way to get the glory you so desperately want? it’s fucking delusional.”

“it’s not delusional—”

“yes, it is!” you glared at him. “you’re on the wrong side of a war you made the mistake of starting.”

luke straightened his posture, thinking about how hypocritical you were being.

“isn’t this what you’re all about? revenge, karma. your mom will probably join us, too. don’t you want to see the gods finally get what they deserve?”

“not like this. i can’t believe how desperate you are, to believe that kronos is going to make everything right. it’s pathetic,” you spat. “i’m not saying the gods don’t deserve to be taken down a notch. their fucking obsession with power and glory….it’s sick and twisted, but i don’t think your titan king is any better. i don’t think you are any better.”

“it’s time that the gods fall. this is the only way, even if it isn’t perfect,” luke countered. his voice was firmer now as he absorbed your anger. your mother was the goddess of revenge, but you clearly didn't understand the sacrifices, pain, and blood that was required to make the world a better place.

luke just needed to convince you.

“we’ve talked about this for years,” he continued. “nothing is balanced! there’s no justice here, for anyone. we can build a better world where we don’t have to burn our scraps and throw ourselves at monsters to get attention. we can fight together like we always have. y/n, i love—”

“don’t,” you snapped. “don’t you fucking dare. you should have died on your quest.” your voice laced with venom. one hand gripping the knife you always kept on your belt. “that dragon should have fucking sliced through you and saved us all the trouble.”

something pricked in the back of his throat, down to his stomach.

“you don’t mean that.”

“i do,” you promised. “at least you would have died with all of us thinking you’re a hero instead of the traitor you really are.”

you grabbed your knife, took a fighting stance.

“i’m not going to fight you,” was all luke could say. he noticed your hand tremble, and you tightened the grip on your knife to prevent emotion from slipping through your invisible armor.

in that moment, you have could slice through luke, and it would hurt less than everything you just said, less than the murderous look you were giving him, like he was just another monster you wouldn’t think twice about sending to tartarus.

luke didn’t even have a chance to unsheathe his sword before you charged at him, but he quickly had you pinned to the ground, the tip of your own knife pointed at you. he hesitated. the blade pressed harder against your cheek than he intended, enough to break the skin and let a few droplets of dark crimson escape.

“please come with me,” he pleaded. you didn’t answer, but you did seem surprised by the softness of his voice.

a few moments passed, the celestial bronze still between you. luke waited for you to see his way, to yield to his proposal.

you didn’t. instead, you took advantage of the situation. you wrapped your leg around his and flipped your position. in the process, you regained possession of your knife. without the hesitation that held luke back, you sliced through his cheek, deep. luke bit his lip to suppress a groan, tasting blood. your gaze set his whole body on fire as he waited for your next move. that was when you glanced down at his camp necklace, and the new clay bead added to commemorate this summer.

a turquoise trident.

“percy told me he was on his way to see you,” you realized. “what did you do?”

luke didn’t answer. he knew then that a choice ran through your head.

and it stung, just a little, watching you sprint away through the trees in a last ditch effort to save percy’s life.

there was a small, pathetic part of luke that wanted you to choose him, even if it meant you would have plunged the knife into his chest.

#this is my baby fr #really feeling the tragic hero vibe down to my core #will prob do a part 2 from reader's POV!#ofc inspired by get him back! bc nemesis!reader....#percy jackson #pjo fanfic #pjo series #luke castellan #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x reader #pjo x reader #luke castellan angst #luke castellan imagine #percy jackson and the olympians #luke castellan smut #saf writes #Spotify

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anxiousnerdwritings · 3 months

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I am going FERAL over this imagine:

So basically Bruce brings reader home to be his new daughter/the boys' new sibling but Uh Oh! They now want you carnally and reader is just like "you said you wanted me as a daughter/sibling, wtf is this" and being their platonic darling is better than being shared between them romantically so reader tries to come off as innocent and child/sibling coded by being like "yeah I've never actually kissed or dated anyone before aren't I just so innocent" and the boys are like :)))

So then Dick says you can call him your boyfriend "just to feel it out" and Tim starts blatantly stealing your panties and Jason says he can give you your 1st kiss so you can "practice" with him and Bruce offers to teach you how to touch yourself and (and him) and when you try to walk it back cause the boys are being Freaks they're in their delulu era so eventually you end up tied to the bed with the boys and Bruce drawing straws over who gets to take what 1sts (like 1st date, kiss, virginity, ect).

And Damien is just in the background absolutely SEETHING cause the the boys and Bruce's Horny Time keeps interrupting his Mommy Time with the reader

And reader using Damien as kind of a shield cause what are they going to do, feel you up in front of a CHILD? Like just, "Stay Platonic :))"

Just that kind of pseudo incest makes me Feel Things (*/∀＼*)(///∇///)

I'd love your thoughts/a fic based on this! Ty ❤️

TW: Brief mentions of pseudo incest(y) scenarios/behavior, manipulative tactics, yandere tendencies

(Okay so I’ll answer this with my thoughts for right now.)

I know I primarily write incest(y) related topics for my Game of Thrones/ASOIAF stuff but I have been tempted to/curious about branching it out into some of the other fandoms I write for 👀. (I’ve had a few ideas rolling around in my noggin for a bit if anyone is interested.) So I would be willing to give this a try. I’m down to experiment with some new stuff, within reason of course.

I imagine the Reader being older (probably 19-23), maybe even having been a runaway of sorts or not having a very stable home life, so when they’re given the ‘offer’ to become part of the family they’re looking to fulfill a familial void they’ve never experienced or have forgotten how it’s felt like. I definitely see Bruce and the rest of the boys keeping a very close eye on the Reader before they decide to finally bring them into their family, basically full on stalking them from the moment they caught their attention (you know how the Batfam works). It wouldn’t be a surprise if even before the Reader was with them physically that the boys developed a more carnal desire for them. At first, their intentions were completely platonic, but with all the lengthy observing and information gathering of their supposed-to-be-new-family-member eventually something changed in how they all saw their darling.

I really see the change in their obsession starting with either Dick or Tim first. Especially regarding some accidental or purposeful peeping Tom foolery. I feel like Bruce would be the last to fall victim to the change in direction or at the very least he’s the last one to admit to it. If Damian is younger than I see his obsession staying strictly platonic, but if he were much older than I could see him involving himself to the same depths as his family.

At first, I see things happening subtly. Knowing that at the very least a few of them are already in an obsessive-romantic headspace in regards to their darling before they even physically become part of the family the guys would try to be as welcoming as possible without revealing their true intentions. They don’t want to scare you off right away, they want you to walk into it semi-willingly at least. But the interactions with the Reader would show something else. The lingering touches, the being much closer to you than really necessary, the heated grazes over your clothes here and there that leave you wondering if that actually happened or not. I also kind of like the other members not being fully aware of each other’s change in obsession, everyone giving each other the side eye until it sets in and then all out war of who gets the darling to themself unfolds only to eventually end up with them working together and agreeing to share. That’s when Bruce’s heel-turn is revealed.

Once things get truly amped up, the interactions with the Reader really begin to escalate. The boys would walk around shirtless more often, all of them trying to get their darling to look at them, to really look at them. Eventually, it’s not just them being shitless but either them in nothing but their underwear or nothing at all. They start out as accidents but eventually it’s pretty loud and clear that the guys want you to see them, all of them, to even touch them and feel them to your hearts content. But thats not all, of course it’s not. The touching of their darling only gets all the more intense, to the point that you know damn well that they’re touching you and they want to leave you wanting for more. So much more. The Reader’s innocence and lack of experience would only spur them on even more. They absolutely thrive off of it. They all want to be your first, your first everything. There will be a lot of secret ‘lessons’ being given behind closed doors and telling of “Don’t tell Batdaddy or he’ll get real mad.” “Don’t let Jay know, or he’ll want to punish you for not doing this with him.” “Let this be our secret, (Name). Something just for you and me.” “Can’t tell anyone about this or they’ll ruin it for the both of us.” And they only get even worse from there.

I can’t see Alfred being okay with this in any situation, whatsoever. I think he especially would feel like Bruce and the other boys completely took advantage of the Reader and he would try his best to aid them in trying to keep up with the platonic intention of this entire fiasco. He would be a total cockblock, even going as far as helping Damian in his cockblocking endeavors. Alfred’s intention would be to play both sides so he knows how to help the Reader when it comes to Bruce and the others but it wouldn’t take too long for them to figure out that Alfred is working against them. Like, Alfred was all for the familial-platonic obsession but when things started getting more romantic he was ready to shut that shit down ASAP. You can’t tell me he hasn’t, at least a few times, locked Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim out of the house to give the Reader some peace and give Damian his much deserved allotted time with them.

Speaking of Damian, he is a menace (as per usual) but even more so than normal. He really doesn’t take too well to the new direction of his father’s and brothers’ obsession for the Reader. He thinks it’s pretty messed up but he sincerely likes and cares about the Reader and he wants them to stay, he wants them to continue being a part of the family forever so he’ll let some things slide. Some. He even may be willing to look the other way when it eventually comes to Bruce, Dick, Jason, and Tim baby-trapping the Reader if it means this whole ‘family’ thing becomes set in stone with the arrival of a new ‘sibling’. But for the most part, at least early on, Damian would be a huge pain in the ass for the other family members. He feels like he needs to step in to save his darling from the others and their ulterior motives. He’s all his parental/older sibling figure needs, at least at that point. He may even try to runaway with them to keep them safe from the others. Hell, he may even get his mother involved if he was desperate enough, especially if he saw the Reader as a parental figure. Or maybe even another Justice League member to either adopt him and the Reader so that he could have that family experience he was promised with the Reader. Or he would be completely content just living the rest of his life just him and the Reader, platonically of course.

It would either take Bruce or Dick to have a talk with Damian to get him to come to some agreement to allow them to continue with what they’re doing in regards to the Reader. I think Dick would get away with manipulating Damian much better than Bruce could. I think Damian would have some opinions about his father especially throughout this whole situation. Especially since I see Damian being very observant of how Dick, Jason and Tim are behaving towards the Reader early on and picking up on the fuckery taking place, even going as far as telling Bruce about it under the belief his father would be on his side (not ever fathoming the idea of his father also doing similar things to the Reader without him ever knowing). As far as Damian knew his father was completely platonic towards the Reader, as a ‘father’ should be. Right? So understandably Damian feels not only betrayed but also disgusted when he finds out that his father was and still is taking part in, acting in a similarly depraved fashion as the others.

Eventually, I could see them coming together and being one big ‘happy’ family. But it sure as hell comes at a price. (Usually the Reader’s freedom and sense of self outside of the obsession they’ve been dragged into, to drown in alongside their yandere(s).)

#anxious answers #yandere bruce wayne #yandere dick grayson #yandere jason todd #yandere tim drake #yandere batboys #yandere dc concept #yandere batboys concept #yandere concept

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yameoto · 5 months

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NEW BOT ALERT! — new ex babysitter!sam carpenter bot for uh. health and wealth purposes. the concept was inspired by this excellent oneshot that drives me apeshit wild.

(ex) babysitter!sam headcanons.. because i’m doin those, now. expect a lot more to come.

✗ warnings ; large age gap (sam 26, reader 18-19), nsfw at bottom. dom/sub.

an absolute sucker for you. like when you were little and you wanted something— like an extra helping of dessert or to ditch out on homework: all you had to do was pout and blink up at her with those big, pleading doe eyes and she'd cave immediately. two seconds flat, easy. now? that still hasn't changed. you have her wrapped around your finger with a single look and it drives her crazy.

would spoil you to PIECES. ofc when u she used to babysit you she would pay for everything, but even now that you're a grown adult with an (albeit low-paying) part-time job, she'd find any excuse to spoil you. just.. coming home with random gifts at any point of the week. like it could be 4pm on a thurday afternoon and she could come up behind you like "baby, you know those headphones you really wanted..? well.."

or jst going out shopping with her and you wouldnt even have to ask for her to pay because she'd be striding to the counter with her card out, already.

definitely calling you "princess". i mean, that's what you are, right? you always have been, always will.

makes her knees weak when you call her "sammy" . you'd exclusively call her it when you were a kid and despite all efforts to prevent this, now, still makes her chest collapse when you say it. and when u add the cheeky little conjunction my, in front of it? oh, boy. just know you're getting more than a good night's kiss, tonight.

she loves it when you whine or beg her for anything. like.. loves.

she just likes taking care of you in general, so anytime you go to her for anything it makes her happy which is kind of fucking adorable. but she finds you coming to her for help adorable, too, so.. win-win?

can never stay mad at you. even on days where u make it your life's mission to annoy her (its your job to keep her on her toes!) she legitimately just.. can't — and believe her, she's tried. stuck in a perpetual state of mild exasperation.

veryyy protective nd possessive . but in more subtle manners like very adamantly refusing to let you walk on the side of pavement next to the road. or always having either an arm wound around your waist or your shoulders or interlocking your fingers — anything that keeps you safe and snug by her side. she’s just so used to the feeling of protecting u and she kinda just never wants it to stop.

..nsfw!

uses the fact she used to babysit you for EVIL. in stupid ways like smirking and asking if you want her to "tuck you in" before bed, except she's straddling your chest and gently prising your mouth open with her thumb and 'tucking you in' means 'choking on her cock'.

obsessed with bouncing you on her lap. u guys cld be doing something completely innocent, like watching tv with the whole gang in the room and she'll pull u onto her lap and slowly start to rock you on her thigh, like how u used to when u were a kid. except this time, you're both grown up and her knee's sliding upwards and pressing against your cunt and oh. whispering "shh," in your ear as she continues to grind her knee up your skirt, fucking purring at all the pretty little noises you make.

actively enjoys punishing you when you get too bratty. she finds your whines adorable, of course, but if she's feeling too grouchy she's not above replacing those complaints in your mouth with you know — something more substantial.

adores praising you and calling you endearments during sex. calling you a sweet little thing and whispering soft, reverential promises into your ear as she absolutely ruins you.

cups your jaw and forces you to look at her when you suck her off. utterly obsessed with that wide, glazed-over look in your eyes whenever you're on your knees for her. the way your adorable little puppy eyes go all glassy nd sparkly w tears when she rams her hips forward and makes you sputter. cradling the back of your head and holding you there as she thrusts, cooing sweet nothings while she bruises the back of her your throat.

#yam's favs #(╯°^°)╯head💣canons #૮ smut🔞#bot—requests #sam carpenter x reader #sam carpenter x you #sam carpenter x female reader #sam carpenter headcanons #sam carpenter #sam carpenter bot #scream

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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 3 months

Text

The Danger Zone (Part 19) - Hangman

Pairing: Hangman / Fem!Bradshaw!Reader | OC

Word Count: 4.1k

This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ ONLY.

Warnings: Unplanned Pregnancy; Military Inaccuracies; Medical Inaccuracies; Crying; Deployments; Use of "You," No Use of Y/N, No Set Physical Description

Summary: Life goes on, even though Jake is still deployed.

Series Master List

Master List

Standing in the bathroom, you applied the final touches to your makeup and hair. Sarah had been kind enough to host your baby shower and you were currently trying to think of gifts to get her, Penny, Emma, and Phoenix to thank them for the party.

You put on a pair of earrings that used to belong to your mom. You were getting more and more sentimental and found yourself wearing your mom’s jewelry around more. Heading out to the kitchen, you greeted Mav, who was supposed to drive you.

“You’re not hiding the fact that you know?” Maverick asked, gesturing to your pink dress.

“No, what’s the point?” you replied with a shrug, walking over to your shoes. Sliding on a pair of flats, you added, “Jake knows and that’s all I care about.”

“Well, let’s get going. I’m pretty sure that Penny will have my head if you’re late.”

After a short drive, Maverick pulled into the Kazansky’s driveway. You slowly slid out of the car despite Maverick’s offer to help you and walked into the house. Heading down the hall into the main space, you paused at the entrance.

The room had pink ribbons draped all around. Balloons decorated the corners and streamers framed the windows. They set up tables along the wall and there were already trays of pink cupcakes and other desserts on one of them. Emma and Phoenix were unboxing the catering in the kitchen and Sarah and Penny were finishing up some of the decorations.

“There she is,” Penny called, straightening up. “Happy Baby Shower!” She walked over and pulled you into a hug that you happily returned. “Are you excited?”

“I’m hoping that something interesting happens,” you replied with a small smile. “Thanks for doing all of this for me. And thank you Sarah for hosting.”

“Oh, please, I used to host the most ridiculous naval events here. At least this is a party I’ll actually enjoy,” Sarah mused, accepting your hug with a bright smile. “How’s Baby Girl doing?”

“She’s been pretty quiet today. So, she’ll decide to kick me when I’m least in the mood for it.”

“Are you hungry?” Phoenix asked, walking over and holding out a plate of food to you. “Everything is safe for you to have. Except for the booze, of course.”

“Thanks,” you mused, picking up an hors devour from the plate.

You ate quietly as they walked you through the whole set up. And you quietly kept grabbing little snacks along the way. Staring around at the whole set up, you turned to your family.

“You guys didn’t have to do all of this stuff for me.”

“Don’t start that. You deserve a nice baby shower and you’re getting a nice baby shower,” Phoenix stated firmly, causing you to nod and smile.

“Do you guys need help with anything?”

“No, grab a drink and go relax. People should start getting here in about twenty minutes.”

It wasn’t a huge baby shower, at least compared to some that you had been to before, but you saw so many faces that you hadn’t seen in years. Emma really went through your whole list of contacts. But speaking of Emma, you hadn’t seen much of her.

“Where’s Emma?” you asked Bradley, walking over to where he was standing.

“She ran out to grab something.”

“Is she alright?” you asked worriedly.

“Yeah, she just hasn’t been feeling well lately,” Bradley explained, a note of worry in his tone. “I told her to stay home, but she insisted on coming.”

“Did she go to a doctor?”

“She has an appointment for next week,” Bradley explained quietly. “Thursday. I told her just to go to urgent care or the hospital even if she feels that sick, but she said she wanted to wait. And I don’t want to upset her.”

“I’ll talk to her when she gets back.”

“She’ll just tell you to focus on your party,” Bradley reminded you, but you simply smiled.

“Exactly. It’ll just be part of your gift to me.”

“You couldn’t have told me that before I spent three hours in a baby store for you?”

“Did I mention how I appreciate how supportive you are?” you remarked sarcastically, patting your brother on the shoulder before moving on.

Making your way through the crowd of people to head back inside to be in the air conditioning and to grab some more food, you looked up to see Maverick talking with a group of familiar aviators in the corner of the yard. You turned a bit and made your way over to greet them.

“Well, here’s the woman of the hour,” Maverick announced, causing all of them to turn to you.

“Hi, everyone,” you stated, waving to them. “I wasn’t expecting any of you to make it.” Turning to the man closest to you, you offered him a hug. “How’d you get the time off of work, Uncle Slider? I would have thought you would be flying now.”

“I timed my flights and got an extended layover in San Diego,” Slider replied, returning your hug.

With the exception of Maverick and Iceman, Slider was the aviator who spent the most time with your family. Especially because he retired earlier than either Mav or Ice had. He didn’t have the stories about your dad that Maverick did nor did he provide the same sort of stability that Ice did with Sarah and his family, but he was a pillar in your childhood.

“I thought you said you would stay away from naval aviators,” he joked, gesturing to your bump.

“I know,” you laughed, resting a hand on your back. “But we all make exceptions for the right people.”

“And is it true that you got married already?”

“Right before he left,” you agreed, showing your rings. “It was both a shotgun and a pre-deployment wedding all in one.”

“Well, you know if he ever wants to fly commercially, I can get him in no problem,” Slider offered, causing you to smile.

“Thanks, but I think Jake’s the type to be forced to retire from the Navy.”

“He’s been spending too much time around Mav then?” Slider guessed, nudging Maverick in the side jokingly. “I still can’t believe that you’re actually retired now.”

“Well, I’m needed here now,” Maverick replied, glancing over at you. “And I’d like to enjoy the rest of my time with the kids and Penny.”

As Maverick and Slider continued to talk, you moved around the group. Thanking Hollywood and Wolfman for driving down, you turned to Viper and his wife, who still lived locally despite Viper’s retirement over two decades now.

“It’s been so long,” you remarked, pulling Viper’s wife Linda in for a hug. “How are you?”

“Oh, don’t worry about us. Look at you! You’re so big now,” Linda called, causing Slider to snort. “And pink! You’re having a girl then?”

“Yeah, we’re having a little girl,” you confirmed with a proud smile.

“Congratulations!”

“Thank you.” Turning to Viper, you moved to give him a hug. “And how are we, Admiral?”

“Still strong,” Viper reported, offering you a smile. “And we’re very glad to hear that Jake finally took his responsibilities seriously.”

“Oh?” you asked, confused.

“Marrying you, dear,” Linda explained with a smile.

“Taking responsibility for his actions,” Viper stated bluntly, causing your eyes to widen.

“Right,” you trailed off, nodding with a polite smile.

“Why don’t we see if we can find Bradley then?” Maverick suggested, stepping up beside you. “He’s separating from the Navy, you know.”

“After the hissy fit that he threw about getting in, he’s just leaving like that?” Viper barked out, causing his wife to admonish him.

You shared an amused look with Slider before you headed inside. Chatting with Phoenix and Coyote, you paused when you saw a stressed-looking Emma walk into the kitchen with a few bags. You walked into the kitchen as well, cautiously approaching your obviously skittish sister-in-law.

"Emma?" you called, causing her to whip around.

"Hey, did you need something?" she asked, unpacking a bag.

"No, but did you?" you offered, moving to stand beside her. "You look a little stressed and I don't want you to worry about the party anymore. It's amazing."

"I'm not stressed about the party. I'm just . . . stressed," Emma sighed, avoiding eye contact.

"Is it something with the house?"

"No, it's all fine."

"Is it my stupid brother?"

"No," Emma replied quietly. "Where is he anyway?"

"Getting a lecture from Viper, I think," you stated, glancing out the window. Turning back to Emma, you offered, "You know, I'm here for you. And forget the fact that this is my party. I'm honestly just trying to stay busy so that I can ignore the fact that Jake isn't here."

Emma gave you a sympathetic look and sighed. Looking around, she slowly turned back to you.

"I don't want to ruin your party."

"The Navy ruined my party. What's bothering you?"

"I'm . . . late."

"Late for what?"

Emma shot you a look.

"Oh, sorry. Wait, how late? Like a day?"

"More like . . . sixteen," Emma replied, causing your eyes to widen.

"Have you taken a test?"

"Not yet."

"Go get one."

"I have one. I bought it at the store a month ago and it's been sitting in my glove compartment ever since. But it's your party. Today isn't about me, it's about you and your baby," Emma reminded you quietly. "I'm not going to take the test."

"Even if I tell you that you should," you stated, causing Emma to sigh. "Or at least do it when you get home." After a moment, you asked, "Why have you been avoiding it for this long? You bought the test a month ago and you still haven't taken it?"

"Because then it becomes real," Emma replied, not meeting your gaze. "And we had our plan. We were going to start trying after Bradley separated from the Navy and settled into his new job. And a lot can go wrong in the first few weeks . . . I'm just trying to process it some more."

"Have you told him yet?" Emma shook her head slowly and you offered her a supportive smile in return. "Look, whatever happens, Bradley loves you and I love you and we’ll all be here to support you. And, hey, at least your dad already got the whole threatening phase out of his system. It's smooth sailing in that department."

Emma managed a soft chuckle at the memories, closing her eyes for a moment. The two of you turned when you heard footsteps. Bradley stepped into the kitchen with his sights set on you.

“Penny said it’s time to open presents.”

“Alright, I'll go out there."

You shared a glance with Emma, who nodded quietly, before moving to move past your brother. But before you could make it too far, Bradley gave you a lightly annoyed look.

“And please don't send anyone else to give me a lecture today. Because I barely survived the last one.”

“Viper found you then?” you asked, amused.

“And then talked my ear off with the most disappointed dad look I’ve seen in years.”

“Well, it was either you or me, and it's my party, so it had to be you.”

Glancing between Bradley and Emma, who was already staring at her husband, you headed outside to open your presents. They were all lined up for you by the time that you arrived, and Penny was there to hand you your presents.

Penny and Maverick bought you a beautiful crib. Sarah got you a bassinet and told you that her kids loved it for their own kids. Javy and Nat bought what seemed to be an industrial stroller—Javy insisted that it was going to be necessary given your child’s genes. And you got piles of baby clothes of various sizes, diapers, and some formula.

“And this one seems to be from Emma and Bradley,” Penny stated, handing you a card. “But I don’t know where they are.”

“I think they’re setting up the cake,” you lied, opening the card. Inside was a picture of a rocking chair and an order slip with a promise to have it delivered to your new house. “They got me a rocking chair.”

You were folding a set of baby onesies when Javy walked over with another box for you. You were a little confused but took the present from him anyways.

“You already gave me a gift, Javy. What’s this?”

“See who it’s from,” he replied, before moving to take his seat next to Phoenix.

You flipped the box over and when you read Jake’s name, albeit in Javy’s handwriting, you looked up suddenly. Locking eyes with Javy, who motioned for you to open it, you quickly tore through the wrapping paper. Pulling out a box, you opened it and gently set the cover aside when you saw a photo album inside.

You ran your finger down the leather spine before slow opening the cover. The inside cover was plain, but it had a printed-out email from Jake laid over the top. Picking it up, you smiled to yourself as you read through his short message.

To My Beautiful Wife,

I know that the best gift that I could give you would be being by your side today and every other day, but this is the next best thing that I could think of. Admittedly, this wasn’t actually my idea, though I’m still going to take credit for it, but here’s a collection of memories over the last year. But there’s still plenty of space for the years to come and new memories that we have yet to make together.

I miss you and I love you so much. And tell Baby Girl that I’ll be home soon to feel her kick.

Love,

Your Smoking Hot Husband

“Well,” you croaked out, placing the paper down. “I think I’ll open it later because I don’t want to start sobbing right now.”

“Who wants cake?” Maverick suggested loudly.

You smiled as you wiped a tear away, trying to stay positive. Phoenix walked inside the house to go and grab the cake as Maverick squeezed you into his side.

~~~~~

Jake sat out on the deck of the carrier, staring down at a photo of you and your bump.

It had been about two months since he left you behind and he was counting down the days until he could be there with you and your baby again. There was some talk of a few aviators in his program returning back to the States soon and Jake was doing everything that he could to make sure that he was on that list.

The sun was starting to set below the waves, casting an orange glow over the ship. The steady sea breeze dried the tears on his cheeks, but Jake didn’t move from his spot. Your due date was in three weeks and even though he read that first children were typically born later; he knew that your daughter was a stubborn one and moved to the beat of her own drum.

She would come when she wanted. Not when it was convenient.

“Do you think you can wait just a little longer?” Jake asked the photo of your bump softly. “You know, we still haven’t picked a name for you yet, so if you want a normal name, you should give us a little more time to decide, alright?”

Leaning back against the wall, Jake stared out in the direction of California. He always made sure to know what direction home was. After a moment, Jake pursed his lips together and took a breath.

“I’m coming home. I promise.”

~~~~~

“And just sign there on the bottom line,” your realtor instructed you, handing over a pen.

You slowly signed your name to officially buy your first home. It was also the first time that you fully wrote out your surname as ‘Bradshaw-Seresin,’ but that just left an even more bitter taste in your mouth. It was supposed to be a happy moment, a triumph, a celebration to buy your first family home.

But without Jake here, it just felt like a hollow victory.

“Congratulations, you’re officially a homeowner,” your realtor replied with a kind smile.

“Thank you.”

Your realtor walked off, leaving you standing alone in the middle of your new home. And when the door shut and the sound echoed around the empty space, you instinctively held your new keys to your chest. Bradley and Maverick were coordinating everything to get your apartment officially packed up and brought over. You would have to return to the apartment to return the keys and everything, but you weren't in a rush.

Walking through the house, you silently took in the moment. You ran your hand along the wall as you headed to the front of the house. Slowly stepping up onto the bottom stairs, you rested your hands on your bump.

“Welcome home, Baby Girl,” you murmured, pressing your hand to where she was kicking.

You texted Bradley that everything was signed, and it was time to bring the truck over. You would have moved to unpack the baby stuff that Maverick shoved into your car earlier that morning, but you knew that you would have given Maverick a heart attack if you did, so you simply waited for everyone to arrive.

A knock at the door made you turn to see Emma waving to you through the glass. You slowly waddled over to the door to let her into your home.

“Morning,” she greeted, pulling you in for a hug. She straightened up and offered you a bag. “I brought you breakfast.”

The two of you sat on the lawn furniture that the sellers left for you as part of the sale. You kicked your swollen feet up and balanced your breakfast on your bump, leaning heavily on the couch. Bradley and Maverick, with some help from the other Daggers and other friends, were currently moving your boxes into the house.

“Are you sure that you don’t want to supervise that at all?" Emma asked you, a bit worriedly.

"It's fine," you murmured, dismissing her concerns. "There's no point in fully unpacking. Minus our bedroom, the kitchen, and the baby stuff. We still have to paint and buy new furniture."

“Alright,” Emma replied, not trying to push you.

The topic of your clear mood shift was becoming an increasingly common conversation among your friends and family. Your due date was growing closer, and you were making more and more comments that concerned them. Or tasks that you refused to do without Jake there beside you.

And everyone was quietly worried about what would happen if you went into labor and Jake wasn't home yet. If it was time for your daughter to come out, it was time for her to come out.

“Has she been moving around a lot?” Emma asked conversationally.

“Yes,” you sighed, sounding exhausted. “She kicked my ribs yesterday and knocked the wind out of me.” Offering a small smile to Emma, you added, “Things for you to look forward to.”

“I’m trying to survive the first trimester,” Emma chuckled nervously.

“I hope you have a girl too,” you spoke softly with a smile, resting your hands on your bump. “They’re only going to be about six or seven months apart.”

“I know. But I think we’re going to wait until they're born to find out. My sisters did and my parents were always so excited to find out at the hospital, so I want to do that with our baby.”

“Have you told any of them that you’re expecting?”

“No, not yet. We’re going to take a trip up to see them after you have your baby and we’ll tell them then. I wanted to do it in person.”

You smiled and nodded, finishing up your breakfast. After chatting for a little bit more, you headed inside the house for the cooler air. You were temporarily living in the first-floor guest bedroom and that room was your main priority.

“Did you want all of it in the nursery or down here?” Phoenix asked, setting down the last box of baby stuff.

“Down here is fine for now.”

“Did you want us to set up anything for you?” Javy asked, standing beside his wife.

“No, I’m alright. We already got the car seat installed and that’s the most important thing right now. We can put together the rest of it when Jake gets home.” Slowly standing up again, you sent Javy and Phoenix a small smile. “Thanks for your help.”

As you waddled off to the kitchen to help Penny and Maverick, Phoenix and Coyote shared a concerned look.

“She’s not herself,” Coyote told his wife quietly.

"She's in her last trimester and her first few months of marriage. And her husband isn't here." Phoenix sighed, watching you with concern. "And everyone has their breaking point."

~~~~~

Dear Jake,

We moved into the house today. Maverick is sleeping on the sofa to keep an eye on me. I think that he thinks that I’m going to go into labor soon. Which I’m not. Baby Girl is snug and comfortable, and I have a feeling that she’s going to take her time coming out. Bradley and I were both late babies, so I’m sure that she’ll follow the trend.

I had them leave all of the baby stuff on the first floor for now. We can set up the nursery when you’re home with us. It didn’t feel right setting it up without you here.

Baby Girl is keeping me up again. She’s been kicking and now she’s even ignoring your warnings to go to bed. I have a feeling that she’s going to be payback for all of the crap that I put my mom and Mav through. Isn’t that what they say anyways?

I miss you. Come home soon and safely.

Love,

Your Wife

~~~~~

At nearly thirty-nine weeks pregnant, there was no other way to describe your existence beside ‘uncomfortable.’ You were pretty sure that you resembled a penguin or a seal lion with the stupid way that your bump made you walk. And your stomach had ballooned out to make you look all the more ridiculous as you went through the last few days of your pregnancy.

And fucking hell, your back was killing you.

“Why don’t you sit down?” Maverick suggested as you wiped down the countertops. “You’ve been walking around all morning.”

“I'm fine, Mav.”

“Did you sleep well last night?”

“No,” you muttered, tossing the paper towel into the trash. “I couldn’t get comfortable.”

“Maybe you should try taking a nap.”

“I’m fine, Mav,” you repeated as the laundry machine went off. Waddling over despite Maverick's call that he could fold the laundry, you rested a hand on your back. “I'm just a little restless.”

“I’ll fold all of that. You should eat.”

Sending Maverick an annoyed look, you handed off the laundry and made you way over to the couch. While Maverick was focused on the laundry, you let out a quiet moan of pain, leaning having on the couch. Resting your hand on your back, you took a few deep breaths before sitting down. You kicked your feet up just as Penny walked through the door.

“How are you feeling today, Mama?” Penny asked, walking over to you with a container of food.

“Pregnant. Very pregnant.”

“You’re in the final stretch now," Penny assured you, offering a maternal smile. "And I brought you some food. It shouldn’t get your heartburn to act up.”

“Thanks.”

Slowly getting up from the couch, you made your way over to the table. Maverick walked over and held the chair for you as you sat down. He had turned into a bit of a helicopter parent over the last week or so and you were too tired to fight him on it. You managed a few bites, before you got up.

"You don't want anymore?"

"I'll be back," you replied, waddling away. "Just need to . . ."

You froze when a gush of liquid suddenly soaked your shorts and pooled on the floor below you. Clutching your bump in fear, you gave Penny and Mav a deer in the headlights look that caused them to jump up and spring into action. Mav steadied you carefully as Penny slowly assessed the situation.

“Okay, it looks like your water just broke. We need to get you to the hospital. The baby’s coming.”

And you couldn’t help but immediately burst out into tears.

A.N. And the baby's coming! But just wanted to give everyone a heads up that this story does not end once the baby is born. There's still more to come. Thanks, and I hope you'll stick around for more!

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mypoisonedvine · 1 year

Text

𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨𝙤𝙢 || dieter bravo x camgirl!reader (part three; finale)

read 𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙩 (part one) and 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙢 (part two) first!

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || he can't believe you're really here— now he has to just try not to blow it... figuratively speaking.

𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩 || 5.7k

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || smut (18+ only; unprotected sex, oral f receiving, multiple orgasms/overstimulation [for reader], creampie), sex work (however dieter technically does not pay the reader for sex, just her flight to visit him c:), mentions of covid-19 pandemic, soft dieter being soft, emotions!! lots of 'em!, extremely sappy/fluffy ending (oops?)

He wasn’t sure who he was more worried would get recognized: you, or himself.

It was his idea to go out to dinner first, in fact he’d insisted on it. Going out to dinner in times like these was a bit iffy, but thankfully the place had outdoor dining and you’d both already tested negative— for more than just the virus…

It was a beautiful evening to eat outside, but it made him even more anxious that any passerby might know him either of you from your respective works; so far, no one had said anything though.

As he watched you take a sip of your sparkling water, he realized that he hadn’t had a crush on anyone in a long, long time. He hadn’t had sweating palms and a racing heart and a dry throat over someone since probably high school. By the time he was in his BFA program, he was so focused on his craft that he didn’t find himself worrying much about that sort of stuff— and if he wanted to get someone into bed, it didn’t seem like much to stress over.

This was different. This wasn’t an issue of getting you to sleep with him, although he certainly hoped you wouldn’t renege on the intentions you’d stated before— this was about getting you to like him, maybe even (as he would’ve put it back when he last had a crush) ‘like like’ him.

“Was your flight okay?” Dieter asked compulsively to fill the silence, proud of himself for thinking of something to say.

“Still good,” you nodded. “You asked me that when we first got here.”

“Right,” he sighed, “sorry. I forgot.”

“It’s fine,” you laughed, setting your glass down on the white tablecloth. “I’m nervous, too. But in a good way.”

He smiled. “Yeah— I’m just really excited that you’re here. And it’s still kind of weirding me out that you’re… you know, real.”

“It’s definitely trippy,” you agreed. “When you see somebody over video chat a lot, they look sort of surreal in real life.”

“Are you… speaking from experience?” he wondered, lowering his voice a bit.

“Yeah— but not this kind of experience,” you clarified. “I’ve never met anyone from my work before— I told you that.”

“Right, yeah— I believe you,” he assured. “Have you ever flown overseas just to meet someone before?”

You laughed, looking down for a second. “No, I haven’t,” you answered, “but this isn’t the first time I’ve been, you know, wined and dined by somebody…”

“Well, I figured this wasn’t your first date,” Dieter scoffed.

“No, I mean— well, yeah,” you hummed, “but I, um… before I started camming, I was actually a sugar baby. So I’ve had my flights paid for before, is what I mean.”

He widened his eyes a little, but nodded— hoping to look more intrigued than overwhelmed. “Oh, wow, that’s— I don’t know a lot about that, honestly…”

“I was about to ask if you’d ever had a sugar baby before,” you smirked, “guess not.”

“Yeah, no,” he shook his head, “not my— not for me. Not before, I mean— is that what you want?”

He got a little nervous that you would only want that— a relationship built on money. He was more than happy to drop some cash on you— he’d offered to pay for everything for you on this trip, it only seemed fair when you had to come all this way— but he got a sick feeling in his stomach imagining that that was all you wanted from him.

But then again, he just said he didn’t know a lot about it, maybe it wasn’t like that… he just felt like it was another performance, and that was the last thing he needed from anybody.

“O-oh, no— not with us,” you answered quickly, blinking a few times, and he sighed with relief. “I mean, it was nice— it wasn’t all old guys and crazy finance douchebags like people think,” you explained with a laugh, “but it was… it was hard work, in its own way. ‘Cause another misconception is that it’s sex in exchange for money and gifts— it’s not, not the way I did it at least. Those guys wanted the ‘girlfriend experience’... that’s the most profitable thing, whether it’s online or in-person.”

Dieter cleared his throat; can’t blame them, I guess…

“But, you know, they didn’t have the time for a genuine relationship, so it was like giving that emotion but never receiving it,” you continued, “and that was exhausting. Not to mention most of them had other girls involved… I’m not a jealous person, but you know, that’s obviously not what I want for myself in the end. So I switched to camming, worked out well with the pandemic and everything…”

“I’m sure,” Dieter agreed. “So, um… maybe this is kind of a forward question, for a first date, but… what do you want for yourself in the end?”

You seemed to get a little more shy, then. “Well…” you began softly. “Despite what you’ve seen me do, I’m a pretty traditional girl. I want a serious relationship, I want a lifelong commitment, I want… a family, probably.”

It was hard not to feel a lump in his throat when you said that, even if his emotions were conflicted at best.

“I mean— that doesn’t have to be you,” you rushed out, “I’m just saying… that’s the end goal. I have a lot of time for that, in my opinion.”

“No, right,” he agreed. “So then, I guess the obvious question— and probably a much easier one— is what’s your goal for tonight?”

You raised an eyebrow. “I already told you my goal for tonight.”

He swallowed thickly. He remembered your last message before getting on the plane pretty clearly: boarding now. hopefully i can get some sleep but i’m pretty wired ngl. just thinking about getting there and jumping your bones. i want you to fuck me so hard i can’t walk (or think) straight.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t have minded at all if you just took me straight to the hotel,” you smirked, “but dinner is nice.”

“Yeah, I— I thought about it,” he admitted. “But… can I be honest?”

“Always.”

“I wanted this to be more than just… that,” he said. He wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to tell you, but he hoped it wouldn’t bother you too much. Thankfully, the gentle smile creeping up your face seemed to indicate that it wasn’t particularly offensive.

“So, what do you want this to be?” you pressed.

“We can figure that out as we go,” he offered, “we should get to know each other better— for real. But that night that we stayed up until three just talking after what was supposed to be a one-hour call—”

He saw you smile even wider as you remembered it.

“I haven’t felt close to anyone like that in—” he began, but it all stopped as the waiter suddenly appeared from thin air.

“Your tortellini, ma’am,” he said as he set your plate down in front of you, and you offered an intrigued ‘ooh’ as you examined the dish, “and your langoustines alla busara,” he finished as he set Dieter’s food down.

“Thank you,” you offered the server with a polite nod, but Dieter could only muster a hum— he was a little miffed that the guy had managed to interrupt such an important moment.

“Anything else I can get for you two?” he asked, looking back and forth.

You looked over at him to check first, before shaking your head and replying, “No, I think we’re alright.”

“Excellent,” he beamed. “And— can I just say one thing?”

You both paused, not sure what to make of that. “Uh, sure,” Dieter decided, since the waiter seemed to be looking at him.

“I loved you in Hunger Strike,” he said excitedly; Dieter tensed up, wanting to look at you to gauge your reaction but suddenly too afraid of what he’d find.

“Oh, thank you,” he mumbled out, “that… means a lot.”

“I mean, it really moved me,” the waiter insisted, even though Dieter just wanted this interaction to end promptly. “You were so— I’m really not trying to intrude, but is there any way I can get your autograph?”

Then he looked at you, and he couldn’t quite read the expression on your face— amusement, maybe, with a hefty dose of discomfort as well. You looked away and took a long sip of your drink. “Uhh,” Dieter choked, looking back at his adoring fan, “you’ll get my autograph when you bring the check.”

Seeming to realize that he had gone too far, the young man straightened up and cleared his throat. “Right, uh— enjoy your meal.”

Scampering away, he left the both of you behind, along with all that tension he’d created. How come he got a escape a situation that was his own fault, and Dieter was stuck here wondering if you would be upset that he didn’t tell you who he really was— or if you’d reveal you were a crazy stalker-fan the whole time— or if knowing he was famous would change your interest in being with him (if you even had any)?

“I’m… sorry about that,” Dieter finally offered to you, and you started to smile.

“Don’t be,” you chuckled, “it was kinda funny. Do you usually react so… badly, to that kind of thing?”

He coughed a bit. “No, I— are you not…? Do you know—?”

“I saw the movie, Hector, I don’t live under a rock,” you admitted.

“Oh.” Not sure what to say next, he blurted out the first thing that came to mind: “What did you think of it?”

Shrugging, you answered with a simple ‘eh’. There was a pause before he began to crack up— and then you did, too.

“So, I’ve been worrying about all you finding out about my career for nothing?” he assumed, and you nodded.

“I didn’t recognize you right away,” you explained, “but I put it together before we planned all this.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he wondered.

“I mean, I didn’t think I needed to, really,” you shrugged again. “It’s just your job. I was ready to talk about it if you brought it up— if you wanted to vent about work or something— but you never did, so I figured it must not be relevant.”

“Does it… change anything between us?” he asked nervously. “Do you feel weird about going out with a movie star?”

“Mm, I don’t know about star…” you smirked, making him laugh again— and that was the part that was the same as always. You still made him laugh, and now that the two of you were really talking again, it felt just like that night that you talked for hours— but even better.

When the plates were cleaned and the bill was paid, the two of you walked back to his hotel— he’d picked this place in part because he could see it from his window. But that brief walk back was one of his favorite parts of the night so far, only because he’d slipped his arm around you, and you leaned into him: in that moment, he felt more normal than he had in a long time— and yet, at the same time, special in a way he’d never felt before.

“I tried to clean up in here, but—”

“Isn’t there housekeeping for that?” you wondered.

“Yeah, but… I’ve had the ‘do not disturb’ sign up for the past week,” Dieter explained. “Didn’t want anyone to come in while we were talking…”

“Right,” you smiled, finishing your examination of the room and turning to face him again. The door shut on its own; you were looking at him with every light in the room reflected in your eyes.

He stepped closer to you, and wrapped his arms around you, and— why were his palms so clammy? “I don’t think I’ve been this nervous to kiss someone since… since maybe my first ever kiss,” he recalled, and you laughed softly.

“Yeah, me either,” you whispered back, and he ran his hand over the curve of your hip. “Who was your first kiss?”

“Uh, Sandy something… Brendan, I think— no, Brennan… Sandy Brennan. We sat next to each other in History class in seventh grade,” he recalled. “What about you?”

“I mean, unless you count a peck or two from my kindergarten boyfriend,” you chuckled, “my first real kiss wasn’t until high school— Gregory Cho. But I wasn’t that nervous… actually, I was sort of ready to get it over with.”

“There was someone I was really nervous to kiss in high school, too,” he recalled, “but that was… different.”

“Who was it?”

That name was much easier to recall. “Alex Brooks.”

“Was she super pretty? Or popular?” you pressed, wondering what had him so nervous, what made it different.

“Both,” Dieter replied quickly. “And… he was captain of the basketball team.”

You didn’t react strongly, but he still noticed it.

“Is that—?” he began to ask.

“He sounds like a real catch,” you smiled. “Was he a good kisser?”

“Yeah,” Dieter laughed, “for a high schooler. I guess things don’t feel as special now as they did back then— just some decent making-out in someone’s dad’s truck was the coolest thing, now it’s like— it’s all right there, you don’t have to…” he trailed off, but started a new sentence. “I mean, even you— I’ve seen every part of you, but I just really met you for the first time. And somehow I’m so afraid to kiss you.”

You were still smiling, but it changed, and you reached up to rest your hand on the back of his neck; it made him shiver in the best way. “If you’re afraid, then it must still be pretty special.”

You kissed him, after all that; he would’ve felt bad for making you wait, if he wasn’t so fully engrossed in kissing you back and pulling you closer and breathing in deeply against your skin.

For a long time, that was all it was— just one, amazing kiss. Just his lips on yours and the gentle dance of trying to go further without going to far; just your hands holding tightly onto his shoulders as he gripped your waist through the dress.

You started to pull him across the room by his shirt— towards the bed— and broke away to speak; he tried to chase your lips for more, but stopped when you bit your lip and rested a finger on his chin.

“You haven’t seen every part of me,” you corrected him— even though he barely fucking remembered saying that after a kiss like that. “I mean, my body, sure, but… not who I really am.”

“Then show me that,” he pleaded. “That’s what I want— you, everything.”

You smiled wide and kissed him again, the two of you toppling onto the bed together.

He’d been thinking about doing this since the moment he saw you: pulling up the bottom of your dress so he could pet your thighs, enamored with the smoothness of your skin. “Baby,” he purred when he caught sight of your panties— what little there was of them. The lace just gave him a glimpse of what was beneath, a tease of your perfect little cunt.

“God, I need you so bad,” you groaned as you pulled him down for another kiss; he’d been hard since you wrapped your arms around him, and he could swear he was already throbbing by the time he rocked his hips against yours. “Fuck— feels even bigger than it looked…”

“Maybe your computer screen wasn’t big enough,” he joked, making you laugh lightly before another moan came out when he rocked down on you again. “What do you want, beautiful?”

“You… you know what I want…” you panted, wrapping your legs around his waist.

“Humor me,” he encouraged, moving in to kiss your neck— and loving the way you squirmed under him.

“Want— want you to fuck me,” you whimpered, “want you to make me— fuck— yours…”

He groaned deeply as he rutted his hips into yours harder, finally taunting you to the point that you had to reach down and start opening his pants. “So eager,” he mocked playfully, as if he wasn’t going to ravage you the second you were done getting his cock out.

In fact, he almost tore your dress as he pulled it down to expose your chest, barely finding the time to appreciate the view of your tits before latching his mouth onto them. “Oh fuck,” you gasped, and he smiled around the pert nipple in his mouth; these had seemed sensitive from the way you toyed with them as you touched yourself, but it was heaven on earth to confirm his suspicion himself.

“Want me to make you mine?” he prompted again, voice muffled by your delicate skin in his mouth, and you whimpered as you nodded.

“Yes— please—” you begged.

“Not sure I can do that,” he warned, and you gave him a confused look. “You’re already mine, you told me yourself.”

You giggled, arching your back slightly as the tip of his tongue drew circles on you. "I did say that, didn't I?"

"Mhm," he confirmed. "Hard to forget."

"Well, m'still yours," you offered, "but I need you right now, I'll do— fuck, anything, just—"

"You don't need to do anything," he assured, looking up at you as he moved his mouth from your breast down a little lower, "just lay back and I'm gonna take care of you."

You bit your lip and nodded.

"Second I saw you I wanted to kiss you all over," he sighed.

"Well, I've got a couple ideas of where you can start," you smirked.

And yes, he would love to start there, but he needed to do his best not to rush this. So, smiling up at you first, he began his journey. His lips and tongue explored your body on his way down: a kiss here, a lick there, a playful bite when he felt extra naughty. "You're so fucking beautiful," he mumbled against you.

"Yeah? You too," you sighed.

He didn't think of himself like that— handsome, maybe, certainly aware of his better angles, but beautiful felt strange. But he liked it, especially when you said it. Especially when you said it while he was slotting his face between your legs.

It was even prettier up close, and the smell was fucking intoxicating: tangy and musky and sweet, heady, earthy, human. And he knew you'd taste even better.

So he dove right in. Maybe he should've started with your clit, that would've been the obvious choice, but his instincts led him to just slide his tongue right into your hole. If nothing else, it certainly seemed to take you off guard, and you gasped as you grabbed onto his hair with both hands.

"Baby, fuck, that's— oh god, you can't imagine how many times I thought of this," you admitted, breathing heavy already. He smiled against you, then gave you one big lick from the furthest down his tongue could reach all the way to the very top— all while holding fierce eye contact with you. "Fu-uuuuck," you choked, dropping your head back just as your eyes rolled up. "That's so… just do that again, please…"

He did it a few more times, noticing the way you seemed to get more impatient with each one, until your hips were chasing after his tongue. "Stay still, baby, don't you trust me to do this right?" he purred, holding tighter on your hips.

"Yeah, I just— been so long," you whimpered.

He just did his best to find what made you scream the loudest and keep doing that— you were so sensitive, he just had to press his tongue down flat on your clit and move it in circles and you’d start shaking and sobbing and begging. He moaned into you every time you tugged on his hair, having to rock his hips against the bed to appease his attention-deprived cock.

"You're… so amazing," you panted, "I— fuck! Oh god, I can't remember the last time someone—"

You never finished your thought, because he started fucking you with his tongue and you were too busy moaning his name, but he couldn't believe what a waste it was that nobody was eating this pussy on a regular basis.

"Gonna— oh fuck, yes, gonna come," you warned, "I… I'm gonna come so fucking hard…"

You started shaking, and he started fighting to keep you as still as he could so his work wouldn't be interrupted. For a second he wondered if you were already coming or not— but then you made this noise, and your cunt clamped down on his tongue, and you cried out his name; it was perfect, it was the most beautiful moment he could ever imagine.

When it became too much, you went from tugging his hair to pushing him away with it, and he grinned up at you with a breathy laugh. “Fuck, baby,” you whimpered, and he saw the tear streaks on your temples and cheeks. He traced one with his thumb before kissing you again— deep and hungry, letting you taste yourself on his tongue.

He hummed when your hands reached down to work on getting his pants off— eager and shaky, he certainly related to that. As soon as your hand wrapped around his cock, he moaned, just from that. He was almost embarrassed about it, until you bit his lip in playful encouragement. "Does that feel good?" you purred.

"Yeah— your hands are better than mine," he laughed breathlessly.

"How about this?" you raised an eyebrow, swiping your thumb over his slit, and he groaned as he rocked into your touch.

"God, baby…" he groaned. As good as it felt, he found the strength to grab you by both your wrists and pin them down by your head. You grinned, struggling just a bit, and moaned as he slid his cock against your soaking pussy.

“Don’t tease me,” you begged, “feels like I’ve been waiting forever.”

But he wasn’t teasing you— he was psyching himself up.

Believe it or not, he actually felt pretty nervous about this part. Not for a lack of experience— for the entirely opposite reason. Dieter had been with a lot of people, and for the most part, it was all… the same. It all blended together— he only remembered those people from when he was a kid because he was a kid, and his romantic encounters were so few and far between. He could remember details of his various partners from the last few years— Crystal who had a clit piercing, Marvin who begged to be choked, Cameron who seemed to enjoy giving him a blowjob even more than he enjoyed receiving it— but this, the actual sex, it was generally pretty interchangeable.

So, he was worried that after all that build-up, after all the yearning and fantasizing and talking, that this would be the end of it being special— and you would just turn into a hook-up with a slightly more interesting backstory than the rest.

As valid as that fear was, it was far from enough to stop him now, not when you were looking up at him and tightening your fists as he kept you pinned and silently begging for him with your eyes.

He had to let go of one of your hands to guide himself inside, but he interlaced the other with your fingers while he did it— and then, with one strong push, he was fully within you.

“Oh my god,” he gasped, “you feel… different.”

You raised an eyebrow, chuckling a little. “Uh, different than what?”

Than everyone else. “I— I don’t know,” he breathed, “I’m not making sense.”

“Not really,” you agreed with a laugh.

“Hard to think straight right now,” he defended.

It wasn’t just that you felt different— it was that this felt different: being with someone he really cared about, that he wanted to impress, that he wanted to see after this was over.

Someone that he never wanted to let go of.

“You feel so fucking perfect,” you whimpered, “fuck, don’t stop— feels so good—”

One of the benefits of making you come on his tongue first was that he knew it wouldn't be that bad if he didn't last too long now— though that wasn't why he did it. In fact, this was rarely his issue, if anything sometimes he struggled to finish for unclear reasons.

But even if he could get away with finishing quickly, he wanted to make this last as long as he could. He never wanted this to end, actually.

As he found his pace— not too speedy yet, but with a bit of his eagerness showing— he kissed you again, deeply and hungrily. He wondered if he'd ever done this before: kissing during sex. He felt like he probably had, and yet he couldn't remember it— maybe that said more than anything.

This, on the other hand, was very memorable. He slid his arms under you when your back arched, he held you tight and close and drank in every one of your moans through that kiss.

For how many times he’d pictured fucking you, he never really imagined it like this… and he thought he’d imagined it every way before. But he realized that he’d mostly imagined it a bit kinker— you riding him, or him fucking you while you were bent over the table in his room, or 69’ing or something. This was passionate, and sorta slow; this was his hips grinding on yours with every thrust so he could keep rubbing your sore clit; this was making love, he realized— if it wasn’t, he couldn’t imagine what was.

“I— fuck, baby— think I’m gonna come again,” you warned him with the most beautiful whiny sob.

“Fuck, already?” he smiled, and you nodded feverishly.

“Just… don’t stop, please, just like that— fuuuuck!” you choked, and he gasped every time your walls clenched down on him.

“You’re so fucking perfect, fuck,” he grunted, moving a bit faster and not letting up on the pressure from his pubic bone on your clit, even when you actually screamed under him. “You’re so amazing, oh god, I—”

He heard it before he said it: I think I love you. He stopped himself before blurting it out— maybe he’d tell you after, but he wasn’t so far gone to forget that this wasn’t the right time. You’d think he didn’t really mean it, that it was just the delirium talking from how incredible you felt, but he knew it was so much more than that.

He shut himself up by kissing your neck— not too hard, but plenty to leave a mark, and make you squirm in the process. Your hands wrapped around his back and your nails dug into his skin, but he couldn’t even feel the pain of it, he couldn’t feel anything but the sticky, resplendent heat of your body.

“So much fucking better than the goddamn dildos,” you said suddenly, and he laughed against your skin.

“Do you miss all those people watching you come?” he wondered.

“No, fuck no,” you panted, “there’s nobody else but you.”

He couldn’t help but fuck you faster when you said that— you should’ve known better than to stroke his ego that way.

“Fuck!” you sobbed. “Hector, baby, you’re so— oh god, I don’t know if I can take it—”

“Shh, you can,” he promised, “you can do anything, you can come for me again—”

“Oh fuck, I— I might,” you admitted shakily, “but then I’ll— I’ll fucking pass out or something.”

“No, you’ll be okay,” he promised, cooing at you softly. “You’ll be so good for me, I know you will— just come for me one more time, baby, tell me what you need to come again.”

“I… just a little time is all I need,” you answered, voice breaking. “I swear I’ve never— I’m not usually so— fuck, it’s just you—”

“I know,” he assured, loving the way you babbled praises but worried it would distract you from coming again; and if you didn’t soon, there wouldn’t be time before he lost it. He was already barely able to keep his composure just from how beautiful you looked like this, let alone how you felt. “I know, just let it happen, I know it’s right there for me— just come for me, beautiful—”

You dragged him down into a sloppy kiss, and he felt it— those incredible pulses inside you, waves of slick coating him until he felt sticky all the way down his thighs; your sobs were more precious than anything he’d ever heard.

“Fuck, that’s good,” he praised, fucking you even faster now as your head fell back limply. “I can’t h-hold back anymore, I need to—”

“I know,” you said to him this time, “it’s okay, please— want you to…”

“You still— oh my god…” he choked, losing his train of thought for a moment. “You still want me to come inside you? Wanna be full?”

“Yes,” you whined, “yes, baby, please— wanna be so full of your come, I want everything—”

"Fuck, okay," he agreed, gasping as he tried to keep up his pace despite the growing pressure inside. "I'm really fucking close…”

“I’m yours,” you told him again— and then he went from ‘really fucking close’ to ‘already fucking there’. He came inside you with a long, whimpered groan; his head dropped onto your shoulder while each pump filled you, trying to catch his breath but feeling like he’d never find it again.

Admitting he loved you during sex wasn’t a good idea, but saying it immediately after wasn’t that much of an improvement. Now, though, he was too exhausted to keep his mouth shut. “I think I love you,” he blurted out suddenly.

For one incredibly long second, you didn’t react at all. You looked up at him, and he hesitated to even look back because he didn’t want to see anything less than ecstasy on your face. “Oh,” you said, “cool.”

He wasn’t sure what reaction he anticipated, good or bad, but it wasn’t that.

“Let me know when you know,” you suggested.

“No! No— I know,” he insisted, reaching up to hold your face, “I know. I love you. I think I did even before you came here, but… it just seemed so crazy. We don’t know each other as well as we should for that, right? But I feel it— I feel something that I just can’t explain—”

“Hey, slow down,” you laughed, “I feel it too.”

The way you smiled at him, resting your hand on his chest— was he glowing? He felt like he was actually glowing. “Good,” he decided.

“Let’s get to know each other better, then,” you announced. “Start from the beginning, the whole thing: parents, siblings, school, favorite movies, worst dates, hot dogs or hamburgers—”

“No, you start,” he pouted, “you’re more interesting.”

“Me? Please, I’m just your average camgirl titty streamer, don’t worry about it,” you scoffed.

“And I’m just some lame old Oscar winner,” he shrugged.

But both of you talked— all night, actually. You never fell asleep, he was never even that tired— you kept him so full of energy he didn’t even notice how long it had been until the sun started to come up. And then you kept talking at breakfast. And then you fucked again, and talked some more after; he knew it had to end, eventually, but he didn’t even want to think about it. He didn’t want to think about you going home and letting something so perfect end.

He told you just as much on the last night— assuming you didn’t switch your flight home to a later day again. You’d just been laying in his arms after another bout of passionately desperate fucking, both of you half-asleep but not wanting the separation of even just unconsciousness, and he blurted it out.

“Don’t leave,” he pleaded under his breath. “I don’t want you to go.”

“I know you don’t,” you returned softly.

“I don’t want this to end.”

You were quiet for a while, turning over on your side to face him, tracing your fingers over his chest gently. “It doesn’t have to end, just because I leave,” you mumbled. “I know it’s crazy, but we can be together, even if we’re not… together. I mean, I’m certainly not gonna be with anybody else—”

“Me either,” he said quickly, before he could change his own mind with the doubts— the voice in his head that said he could never settle down because he’s too fucked up. “I only want you.”

“It’ll suck, being far away from each other— but you’ll be back Stateside eventually, right?” you assumed.

“God, I hope so,” he sighed, “if the world doesn’t end.”

“If it does,” you whispered, moving in closer, “I hope it’s tonight. I wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else but here.”

It was a romantic thought, but as he kissed you, he realized he’d never wanted the world to end less than he did right now. He never longed for an apocalypse or anything, even on nights that his doubts and anxieties made him yearn for oblivion just for himself, but just now he could’ve cried thinking about everything falling apart tonight. Whether it be by fiery explosion or a quiet, instant disappearance, he couldn’t let armageddon happen now— now that he had you. For the first time, he saw himself having a future, in a way he never had before. Existing as a ‘celebrity’ meant being on the edge of irrelevance at any moment, knowing this could all go away overnight and you’d just be ‘that guy who was in that thing that one time’.

But this time, he stood on a precipice of something wonderful, of something natural, and it was the most beautifully terrifying unknown. It was tomorrow. Tomorrow, you’d get on the plane; tomorrow, you’d leave, because the world wasn’t going to end tonight. But his life was going to start tonight, and he didn’t have to face it alone anymore.

#dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo smut #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo x y/n #dieter bravo x female reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal smut

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punksocks · 9 months

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Astro Observations No.19

(Thank you so much for the support everyone! I appreciate you following my blog c:)

*Just based on my experiences, only take what resonates

-Starting a new relationship during Venus in retrograde is guaranteed to teach you a karmic lesson with a probably karmic partner (I’ll never forget mine oml)

-Under developed Venus ruled men/ Men with heavy Venus placements are a nightmare. Underdeveloped ones choose to be chaotic with charming energy. Like f-boys or like vampires. They just tend to run through people and use them for validation. Sometimes they grow out of it and become better. A lot of times they just get too big of an ego and get narcissistic in this energy and are just destructive.

-The house your Juno is in could be an indicator of your soulmate’s placements (ex if your Juno is in Aries your partner may have Juno in first. Or if your Juno is in 5th they may have Leo in Juno. If your Juno is in Libra they may have Juno in 7th.)

-Libra/Taurus/Venus in 1st house people can get away with such criminal behavior lol, people will never blame them or they will always want to see the best in their actions. I feel like Leo Asc/Sun in 1st can get through a lot of actions with confidence but they usually do face blow back at some point if they’re behaving badly.

-Neptune 1st house/Pisces rising will have a more erratic sort of filter applied to them. Like usually they’ll get like subconsciously softened and idealized by others but they’ll also get certain traits like air head or spacey applied to them. Basically getting elevated and infantilized the most imo.

-Having North Node in Pisces can be a murky karmic placement. I’ve found that North Node in Pisces can manifest as anything from spiritual devotion and detachment from others to lifelong addiction and reliance on substances, any path that has heavy Neptunian themes which feels like a roulette since Neptune rules over confusion.

-Mars MC can be a sex symbol placement for any gender, someone known for their body or having a striking presence.

-Venus MC is definitely someone that’s known for being a charmer at best and a player at worst. Still very good with people either way.

-MC in Scorpio can manifest as someone that’s seen as constantly going through transformations and tribulations in their career and public life. Alchemy or catastrophe, always at an extreme.

-Venus can show where you are the most appealing to others (Venus in 1st would be seen as charming and probably having a very pretty face, Venus in 2nd would been seen as luxurious and having many resources and having a pretty body, Venus in 3rd would be a very charming speaker and likely have a voice that draws in others, etc I can make a whole post on this if anyone’s curious)

-Aquarius Venus/Venus in 11th fall in love with someone unconventional, or someone they met in an unconventional way (online dating, penpal programs, stuff like that)

-I find all fixed moons have really intense emotions, they just express it in different ways (yo if you’ve ever just disagreed with an Aquarius moon you know they can get touchy if you’re not on the same page with their logic)

-Aquarius is not a great way to figure out if someone is queer imo. The connotation of being lgbtqia+ being essentially strange/out of the norm is … something already but plenty of queer icons that live with their careers/lives revolving around the queer community have no Aquarius in their charts at all (I was looking at Elvira’s chart after this Matt Baume video on YouTube about how she’s a queer icon that was elevated by the queer community and was a closeted lesbian and she turned out not to have a single Aquarius placement, a Virgo stellium and Leo placements stood out the most to me). Sappho is the asteroid to check out for wlw I’m not sure for mlm but I’m sure Greek mythology has given us a great asteroid for the mascs

-Squares to north node can present “delays” with your destiny (more so having to hone aspects of your personality, having certain experiences beforehand, and coming into your destiny later in life, Joe Biden is an interesting example of this lots of squares and harsh aspects to north node and he ran for president like 7 times before he won, even became Vice President before, so interesting)

- (TW scars, harm) Scorpio can show where you have organic scars/birthmarks (Scorpio in 1st birth marks/freckles just appear on my face) where as Pluto can show where you get scars through experiences (I have Pluto in 2nd and I got burned on the lower third of my body when my dad left me in a hot water bath as a baby :/)

#astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #astro community #leo #scorpio #midheaven #north node #venus #Neptune #Pisces #aquarius #juno #venus retrograde

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gjsatorus · 7 months

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hey daddy !

summary: gojo comes back from the prison realm

— gn reader, established relationship, fluff, one suggestive joke, not proofread (i wrote this at midnight which is also why it’s all over the place sorry y’all 😭)

note: it’s been another week without satoru and i’m going crazy like i need him back soon bc i can’t live like this (remind me to write one for when he comes back to life too)

it’s been days, weeks even. since you last saw your one and only, gojo satoru. many people have probably heard of his name, many people knew him, many people agree that he’s the strongest. but to think that he got sealed in that stupid box was baffling honestly. (i hate you kenjaku)

so here you are, coming home from work, patiently waiting for him to come back home. you were getting worried as the days pass on. the lonely nights without him, the nights where you just want to feel his warmth again, to feel his arms around you again. maybe you took him for granted and he won’t ever come back.

19 days without him. you just came back from work, finished showering and everything. now you’re making dinner for yourself, that was until you heard a knock on the door. you freeze up, who could be at the door at this hour? you grab a frying pan for defense and went towards the door, you look out of the window and.. is that satoru?

you open the door immediately, greeted by the man himself however his appearance is different. gojo has became more buff and it looks like he has changed clothes in the prison realm? “baby..” he sighs out, his blue eyes softening once they meet yours. you felt your eyes glisten while hearing his voice again, “i miss you too since you couldn’t say it yourself,” satoru clicks his tongue playfully.

“t-toru..” you mumble out, voice slightly shaky. the frying pan you held drops to the floor as you pulled him into a hug. he gladly accepts the hug, wrapping his strong arms around you. your soft sobs were heard, you look up at him with a gentle smile on your face. “i’m glad you made it back home, toru,” you managed to say, burying your face deeper into his chest.

“i’m glad i could make it back to you sweetheart,” satoru grins, tears welling up in his eyes too, deciding to make the situation a little more lighter. he threw you on his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, immediately you protest, struggling to get out of his grasp. “put me down toru!” you choked out, “can’t hear ya sweetie,” he smacks your ass as he pretends not to hear your threats and continues walking into the house.

he places you on the couch, kissing your lips as you pull him closer. he pulls away despite your whines and lays on top of you, hearing out a small “oomf!” from you. “you’re heavy toru,” you tease, not minding it a single bit. “i knowww,” his words drag out of tiredness, “i miss you darling,” you sigh while massaging the back of his head. “told me that already,” he pouts and you lightly smack his head.

“ow! you haven’t seen me in days and you’re already abusing me!” he dramatically accuses you, “maybe that’s just my way of showing affection gojo satoru,” you told back, the pout still on his glossy lips. “i loveeee my baby so much! missed them so much too, miss how they would tease me all the time,” satoru suddenly started to leave kisses all over your face.

“i love you too toru, missed your touch, and missed this pretty face too,” you did the same thing to him, seeing his cheeks flush a bit. the both of you stayed silent, quietly basking in each other’s warmth. “so when did you have this whole makeover?” you pointed at his tight black shirt and glance at his muscles, “don’t worry about it baby,” he chuckled, leaning closer to you.

#gjsatorus #gojo fluff #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader

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pandorxxx · 1 year

Text

To-do list

Neteyam (19) x Omatikayan fem reader (19)

[he is so goddamn fine, I am FROTHING over this picture]

Warnings: SMUT THE HOUSE, oral, neck grabbing, fingering, p in v, squirting, cursing.

🔞Minors, do not interact🔞

For the best reading experience, listen to #icanteven by The Neighborhood (ft. French Montana)

You loved your Na’to; he was sweet, kind, protective, caring. Everything about him was perfect. You two had been dating for around 5 months, and it was normal for you two to have mated already. However, you just weren’t ready yet. You didn’t really know if you wanted to commit to him for life yet, and he was on the same page. You two were just having fun, and it made you happy. Although you two hadn’t mated officially, you would give in to his lustful advances from time to time. The sex was…good, but it wasn’t great.

When you two started getting alittle more serious, he introduced you to his friends. Among them were none other than Neteyam, the future olo’eytkan. You couldn’t deny that you were slightly attracted, but was it a crime? You would never cheat on your boyfriend, but you would think about it here and there. You’d think about Neteyam specifically, and how it would be to feel him, really feel him. Would he be better than your boyfriend? Hold you better? fuck you better?

“Y/n? You ok, baby?” Na’to asked, waving his hand infront of your face, as you sat on his lap. You scanned your surroundings briefly, noticing where you were and who you were with. Neteyam sat across the room, conversating with Na’to as laid against his chest.

“Umm yeah, I’m fine.” You smile loosely, turning your head to kiss Na’to. You turned back around to a straight faced Neteyam, no emotion as he glared at you. You glanced away softly, feeling super uncomfortable. Neteyam was always staring at you in strange ways. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think that he was eye fucking you. However, you did know better, and Neteyam would never do that to his best friend. Or so you thought.

Neteyam wanted you since the moment he saw you. It was love at first sight for him, but Na’to got to you first. Neteyam envied Na’to because he got what he wanted, and was flaunting it in Neteyam’s face every chance he got.

“Stop looking at my woman like you want to eat her alive!” Na’to said jokingly, holding your waist tighter.

Neteyam laughed sarcastically, waving him off.

“Ahh, no way! She’s all yours.” Neteyam replied sarcastically, sitting back on the wall, as he glared at you once more. Na’to laughed before tapping your leg, signaling for you to get up.

“Whatever, I have to go train the children. I’ll be back later, baby.” He stood, towering over your small frame as he bent down to engage in a passionate kiss. Neteyam was furious, he felt like Na’to was trying to get under his skin.

Na’to pulled away, eyeing you up and down as he backed up towards the door. He turned to Neteyam, shooting him a grin before walking out completely.

“So, what do you have to do today?” You asked Neteyam innocently, taking a seat on your cot. He said nothing, just staring at you intensely. You were growing confused as your eyebrows scrunched up.

“Umm, Neteyam?” You asked, tilting your head at him as you watched him stand up.

“I didnt have much to do, until now.” he spoke, shutting the hut door. He turned around, leaning onto the door with his arms crossed.

“I am not understanding.” You shook your head in confusion, waiting for him to explain.

“You’re number one on my to-do list.” He licked his lips as he stared into your soul. Your heart stopped for a moment, as beads of sweat formed on your forehead. Your entire body started tingling, as you watched him walk closer to you.

“Neteyam, I am to be mated with Na’to.” You stated calmly. He finally got to you, putting his fists into the cot beneath you, now face to face.

“I simply do not care. I’ve wanted you for a long time, and I always get what I want. I know Na’to is not what you need, I AM what you need.” He explained, glancing at your lips, trailing back up to your eyes.

“Neteyam, this is not right. I love Na’to, I will not betray him!” You spat, growing frustrated with his games. He chuckled before pushing you back on the cot. He hovered over you, bending down until his nose what touching yours.

“If you love him so much, why are you two not mated yet? Hmm?” He asked, holding your neck softly. You didn’t have an answer for him. Not an answer that would be in your favor, anyway. You really didn’t know if you wanted to be with Na’to for a lifetime.

“We are waiting. It is not time yet!” You replied breathlessly, trying your best not to melt under his warm touch. He smiled before bending down to your ear.

“If you were with me, you wouldn’t want to wait. I can make you feel so good, y/n.” He whispered, kissing your neck. You automatically threw your head back, in turn pushing your chest to his. You slid your hand down to his abdomen, trying to push him off of you. He grabbed your hand, pinning it to the cot underneath you.

“I know you want this. If you don’t want anything to do with me afterwards, then i will leave you alone. But I have a feeling, that you’ll be begging for more after I’m done.” He whispered, backing up to get a good look at your body. He flipped you on your stomach, sliding your loincloth down with his teeth. He started at your ankles, kissing them hungrily as he slid all the way up to your ass. He kissed it before gnawing at it ever so gently. He trailed his hand down to your heat, massaging the slit.

“N-Neteyam, w-we can’t.” You moan trying to pull up from his grasp, but the pleasure was consuming you.

“Your body is telling me something else, princess.” He smirked, sliding 2 fingers into your soaked cunt. You felt instant pleasure as he twirled his fingers inside of you. You threw your face down into the cot, moaning softly.

“Yes I know, princess. Let it out for me.” He growled, leaving hickeys on your ass. You arched your back, lifting your hips as your head still laid on the cot. This position had your soaking wet cunt in his face. He licked his lips, ready to attack before speaking.

“Did you still want me to stop?” He asked sarcastically, kissing your clit. The friction sent you over the edge as you pushed your cunt to his mouth. He immediately went to work on you. Flicking your clit, and sucking all of your juices up.

“Yesss, don’t stop!” You moaned, holding yourself up with your hands. He made it sloppy for you. Spit flowing down his chin as he lapped up your essence.

“Does Na’to do this for you?” He mumbled into your cunt, vibrating your entire body. Your legs twitched, almost giving out on you.

“Fuck, nooo.” You whined, gripping the cot as you shut your eyes tightly. He spread your lips apart, trying to give your clit some more attention. He flicked it fast with his tongue, making you convulse as you felt your high approaching you.

“Fuck, I’m cumming!” You screamed, as your juices flowed all over his tongue. He sucked them up greedily, wiping his mouth. He came up, hovering over you.

“How bad do you want it?” He whispered in your ear, sending chills down your spine.

“I want it so bad, neteyam!” You whinned, pushing your hips into his groin. He bit his lip as you dry humped him, trying desperately to find some friction. He held your hips steady for a moment.

“As much as I like you in this position, I want to see your beautiful face.” He chuckled, flipping you over on your back. You grinned, now flipping him over on his back, straddling his lap. He bit his lip, laying his hands behind his head.

“You know what to do, right?” He asked, glaring up at you. You titled your head, as you untied his loincloth. His throbbing cock sprung out, hitting the bottom of your breast. You glared at him through your eyebrows, before looking down again.

“Is it too much for you?” He teased, shifting his hips underneath you. In one swift movement, you rose up, and plunged down onto him.

“Goddamn!” He grunted, balling his face up in pleasure. You leaned down to him, pecking his lips gently.

“Is it too much for you?” You moaned, bouncing slowly while maintaining eye contact. He gripped your hips thrusting into you hard and deep. You grabbed hold of his shoulders as you felt the knot building in your stomach.

“Don’t test me, y/n.” He growled before flipping you over again. He grabbed your neck, using it as leverage to thrust into you nice and slow. You became more and more sensitive with every stroke, deeming the pleasure unbearable.

“Neteyam! too deep, too deep!” You screamed tapping his wrists, but he wasn’t trying to hear it.

“I have wanted you for so long, and now that I’ve got you…” he pulled you up to him by your neck.

“I’m not letting up…” he growled, thrusting into you faster. You squealed, shutting your eyes tightly.

“I know baby.” He moaned kissing your forehead. He leaned back, admiring your flushed face.

“I know you’ve been wanting me, too. Well, you got me baby, take all of me!” He muttered in your ear, sending you spiraling. Your moans got caught in your throat as your jaw dropped. He looked you in your eyes before he kissed your bottom lip. The room was silent, minus the sounds of skin clapping. The pleasure was so intense that you couldn’t even talk.

“You can do it, princess. I got you.” He whispered into your lips. You shook your head no, and he nodded, communicating to you that you could. You were in a euphoric sense of pleasure, nothing could compare this feeling, not even Na’to.

“Na’to could never make you feel like this.” He moaned, kissing your neck. You finally came to, gasping for air. You held him tightly, scratching his back as you felt your high approaching. He rolled his hips slowly, massaging your sweetspot just right.

“Neteyam, I-i can’t hold it!” You cried as your legs started to shake under him.

“Are you going to break up with that skxawng!?” He grunted, slapping your face lightly. You nodded frantically.

“Who’s making your legs shake like this? Huh?” He asked, gripping your neck as he looked deep into your eyes.

“YOU! pleaseeee let me cum!” You whined, tears streaming down your face as you gripped his arm tightly.

“That’s right! Say my name!” He shouted, going deeper with each stroke. You couldn’t hold it any longer, so you finally gave in.

“Neteyammm!!! I’m cumming!!” And with that, your entire body spasmed as you squirted all over his lower abdomen. The scene underneath him made him lose it.

“Ohh fuck!” He grunted, bottom lip between his teeth as he let loose. His seed filling you up just right. You sat up, watching his cock twitch inside of you.

“Mhmmm…” you hummed, glancing up at him as he was already glaring back at you. He pulled you in for a passionate kiss, still emptying himself inside of you. He pulled back, admiring your gorgeous face.

“Can I be at the top of your to-do list more often?” You joked breathlessly, still trying to catch your breath. He chuckled, grabbing your neck to peck your lips.

“You’re always top priority, princess.”

Ummm, y’all forced me to write this [I literally enjoyed it so much😈] and I don’t condone this type of behavior🤦🏾‍♀️. As alwaysss, I love y’all to death, and I’ll see y’all soon❤️🫶🏽!!!

Outtie❤️🖖🏾,

Pandorxx

Outtie ❤️🖖🏾,

Pandorxx

#avatar #avatar smut #avatar the way of water #neteyam fanfiction #neteyam headcanons #neteyam smut #avatar neteyam #neteyam sully #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x reader #neteyam

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shanastoryteller · 8 months

Note

Hello! Thank you for taking the time to open prompts! Could i ask for some lady mo, or anything with wei wuxian? He’s my fave!

a continuation of 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44

When one of the servants A-jie had brought with her when she married catches his eye and then disappears, Jiang Cheng’s stomach drops.

He leaves Shuchun to deal with the official mingling, which earns him a dirty look, but he refuses to feel bad about it. Wang Yan is hovering at the edges and either she or Jin Ling will save her from any truly obnoxious conversations.

He makes his way to his sister’s rooms, knocking twice before pushing inside. “What’s going on?”

The first person he sees is Jiang Xingyi, which is never good, but A-jie appears whole and healthy. She grabs his arm with both hands, pulling him close before whispering, “Would you be able to get genkwa before the end of the night hunt?”

“Yes,” he says, even though doing it without getting caught is going to be nearly impossible. What his sister needs, she gets. “How far along?”

She doesn’t look any different to him, but then again she never does. But if she needs it before the end of the night hunt, she must have caught it late this time.

This isn’t the first time he’s needed to do this.

A-jie’s body might not be able to handle another birth. He knows that she wants a big family, but none of them are willing to risk her life for another child.

Well, he and Jin Zixuan aren’t. Jin Guangshan and Madam Jin would do it gladly, which is why they can never, ever know of the times he’s had to smuggle the crushed purple little flowers into her hands.

“It’s not for me,” she says which leaves him blinking. “Maybe we won’t need it, but she won’t stop crying, and I don’t want to offer her something that I can’t carry through on. You’re sure?”

“Yes,” he says, “but who are we talking about?”

If it’s A-jie, everything has to be handled with the utmost secrecy, only Jiangs, Jin Zixuan, and Jin Guangyao privy to her condition. But a servant girl or even a noble’s daughter doesn’t garner enough attention to warrant their normal subterfuge.

A-jie gives him a look so full of grief that he’s already reaching for her before she turns and crosses over to the entrance to her private bath. She knocks then leans against the door, “Meimei, can you come out? There’s someone else here, he can help you. You can trust him, I promise.”

The endearment tells him nothing beyond it’s a woman younger than A-jie.

The seconds drag on and then the door slowly opens, a women clad only in one damp robe stepping out. He lifts his eyes to her face, red and splotchy from crying and her hair a mess all around her, and feels his mouth drop. “Lady Xuanyu?”

The wife to the second jade of Lan is not some servant girl or even just a noble’s daughter.

She sees him and fresh wave of tears roll down her face, but she’s smiling too, and A-jie is relaxing. “Hi Jiang Cheng.”

“Is it his?” he asks, mind spinning. “Lan Wangji’s?”

A-jie glares at his lack of tact, but he’s trying to make sense of this. If she’s sleeping around on Lan Wangji, Jiang Cheng is hardly going to blame her for it, but it’ll explain why she needs to end the pregnancy.

She hiccups, lifting a sleeve to wipe at her cheeks. “Y-yeah.”

On the bright side, it’s not like Lan Wangji can hate him more than he already does.

A second reason for her to be so miserable at the news that she’s carrying her husband’s child occurs to him and the rage that sweeps through him is surprising in its intensity. “Does he hurt you?”

He drank with her the night before her wedding and told her that Lan Wangji wasn’t that awful, that he wouldn’t hurt her. He told her that she’d be safe as his bride.

But now she’s sobbing and pregnant and so clearly terrified.

Xuanyu hesitates.

“I’m going to kill him,” he says. It comes out perfectly calm, none of his normal bluster. Both A-jie and Jiang Xingyi pale.

He turns to leave, already planning on drawing his sword first and explaining after. Lan Wangji has made a liar out of him. Xuanyu is young and didn’t ask for any of this and he has a responsibility to protect his bride and Jiang Cheng told her that he wouldn’t hurt her and now she’s here and she’s hurt and he’s going to rip Lan Wangji’s spine out and shove it down his throat.

People don’t like him, don’t get along with him, generally. But she’d sat with him beneath the light of the moon and drank with him and it had been something warm and familiar that he hasn’t had since before the war. He tells himself that’s why he cares his so much when the truth is he doesn’t know why, it’s just that she feels familiar in a way he can’t explain, not when he the first time they met was that night.

“Jiang Cheng!” She lunges forward, hugging him from behind, wrapping her arms around his waist. He braces for the feeling of discomfort, ready to push back agaisnt the urge to shove her off of him. It doesn’t come. “I didn’t mean like that! We spar, a lot, and I get hurt, but I’m always requesting it. It’s not like that.”

He turns in her arms, gently pushing her back but not letting go of her shoulders. “Then why are you crying? It’s okay, you can tell me the truth. I’m not afraid of Lan Wangji.”

“I just,” she sniffs. “I can’t – he doesn’t like me, you know? And – and I’m better than I was, um, healthier, but what if,” she blinks heavily, “what if I’m not strong enough, or something goes wrong, and then – what if I mess it up? And it’s all my fault, because I was weak, and then I’m a failure and he hates me–”

“Oh, Xuanyu,” A-jie whispers. He knows she had a lot of those same fears when she was pregnant with Jin Ling, and she and Jin Zixuan were in love, and he proposed to her fully knowing the state of her health.

Both Xuanyu and Lan Wangji were forced into this marriage.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do,” he says firmly. “If you don’t want to have this baby, then you don’t have to. Whatever the reason. And if anyone tries to force you to, I’ll stop them. I don’t care who they are. Understand?” He waits until she gives a wide eyed nod. “But I don’t – I don’t think that Lan Wangji will react like how you think he will. And if he disappoints you, then I will help you take care of it. But I don’t think he will.”

Twice now he has vouched for Lan Wangji to Xuanyu, this girl who feels like another sister even though he barely knows her.

If Lan Wangji makes a liar out of him, he will beat him bloody and not even Lan Xichen will be able to hold it against him.

#prompt answers #prompts are closed #asks #anon #untamed

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youatemylollipop · 11 days

Note

I saw that you write for mha. Can you write first time (nsfw) touya x reader? Thx 🥰

Synopsis: You're tired of being the only one lacking experience in the s*x department, so when Touya suddenly suggests that you accompany him to a party, you decide to take him up on the offer. Who would have thought that this would lead to a steamy session with your childhood friend in his car?

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Characters: Touya Todoroki X Female Reader

WARNING: Childhood friends to lovers, college and no quirks au. First time, loss of virginity, kinda(?) soft dom! Touya, he's an asshole but has low-key a soft spot for the reader, explicit sexual content, oral sex (m.receiving), dirty talk, Touya calls reader slut a couple of times, MDNI!!

Word Count: 10.5K

“What’s the farthest you've gone with a girl?” You suddenly ask, tilting your head curiously as you turn to face him as he drives the car.

Touya raises an eyebrow as he glances at you. He's quiet for a few moments before responding in a more casual tone.

"As in, how many girls have I dated or...? Are you asking if I've... You know... Done the naughty?"

“Yes,” you confirm blatantly. “I meant the naughty.”

Touya sighs and looks ahead again, a slight blush on his cheeks. “How’d I know that’s where you were going to go with that question…”

His tone is teasing but there’s a hint of irritation there. He slows down slightly and pulls over to the side of the road, putting the car in park before giving you a look from the corner of his eye.

“And why do you even care?”

“So…?” You trailed off, ignoring his question as you eye him with a scrutinizing gaze, waiting for him to say openly that yes, he’s had sex.

Touya groans and rubs his eyes, already feeling this conversation becoming annoying. Though that’s probably more because of who it’s coming from and less because of the actual subject matter.

“Yes, alright…”

He finally caves. You’re like a child that’s curious and has a lot of questions about things they maybe shouldn’t be so curious about. Maybe it’s your own childishness rubbing off on him.

“Yes. I have.”

“So you’ve done the deed?” You continue to ask, just to make sure—and maybe just to annoy him.

“You’ve gone all the way? Like actually putting your sword in someone else’s cave?” The way you’re describing it makes him roll his eyes and look away, the blush on his cheeks deepening just a bit.

“Goddamnit… Yes. I have.” Now he just looks amused by the ridiculous way in which you’re asking this question.

“Ok.” Was all you said, before turning your attention back to the window.

He raises an eyebrow at that. Something’s bugging him slightly. Why is there suddenly so much interest in this? He doesn’t mind talking about his sex life, especially since it’s you he’s talking to. Though you’re kind of… weird about it.

“Why do you even care so much?”

“Because I’ve never done it,” you admit, turning to look out the window, sounding very much like a sulking brat. “I’ve never done anything like that with a guy.”

Touya turns his head to look at you, an eyebrow raised. He had a small hunch that was what you were gonna say though it still took him by surprise. When he speaks, his voice is calm but a bit teasing.

“Sounds like somebody’s salty that they haven’t done it yet.”

You huff, pouting at his attitude. “Yes I’m salty! Who’s gonna be willing to date a 19 year old college student that’s got zero experience? I haven’t even had my first kiss yet,” you complain with the same bratty attitude.

“Show me some sympathy, asshole.”

Even though he’s clearly trying not to, Touya snickers. He can’t seem to help the slight smirk that has formed on his lips. You’re so cute when you’re being a pouty brat like this.

“You say that as if it’s the end of your existence, or as if it’ll never happen. You are being overdramatic, you know that right?”

“I hope that I’ll meet someone at the party tonight,” you continue, ignoring him. “You’re friends are going to be there, right? Do you think I can kiss one of them?”

That gets the reaction he was hoping for. Touya turns to you, giving you a raised eyebrow as his lips curl into a smirk. “Oh? You want to kiss one of my friends?”

He’s quiet for another moment before smirking a bit and speaking again. “What about me? Maybe you could kiss me instead?”

“You’re not being funny,” you roll your eyes, not taking him seriously. “I just want to get it over with, I hope that at least one of them is hot enough.”

Touya lets out a small laugh at that as he looks away from you, the smirk on his lips growing into a small grin. Damn, you’re being a brat but for some reason it’s kind of hot.

“Oh come on, surely I’m hot enough. You should kiss me instead.”

You were about to retort until something clicked in your mind. “Wait, are you for real?”

Touya raises his eyebrow a bit, his grin widening as he notices the shift in your attitude from petulant brat to actually thinking about it. He shrugs as his lips turn into a smirk, looking back at you for a brief moment before looking back at the road again.

"Sure, I'm for real. Why shouldn't I be?"

“Won’t it be, I don’t know—weird?” You ask with furrowed eyebrows.

“What do you mean by ‘weird’? I mean we’ve known each other since we were kids. What’s weird about us kissing?” He keeps smirking and speaks playfully, not seeming to take the concept too seriously. Of course he is, but he’s not making it too obvious.

You eye him skeptically for a brief moment before deciding to let it go. “Alright, if you say so.”

He can’t help the satisfied grin that comes across his lips. It was probably a bit easier than expected to convince you. After all, the two of you have been so close since you were kids.

“You gonna kiss me or what?”

You let out a half amused snort before unbuckling your seatbelt and crawling over to him so that you were now seated on his lap, with your legs spread out on either side of his hips. There is a mix of excitement and nervousness in your actions as you lick your lips, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck.

“So, am I just supposed to lean in?” You ask.

Touya just lets out a small hum as he takes his seat belt off as well, watching as you crawl over to him and sit on his lap. For a moment, he says nothing, a smirk still on his lips as he gazes at you. Finally, he speaks with a more confident and teasing tone.

“Yeah. Just lean in… Make sure to aim for my lips, though. Don’t miss.”

You roll your eyes at his so called ‘instructions’, but do as he says anyways. The action is slow and once you get extremely close to his face you hesitate for a moment.

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” you mumble out before finally going in for the kill, closing your eyes as your lips finally touch.

As soon as he sees the motion coming, he meets you in the middle, closing his eyes as your lips finally brush against each other’s as well. For a moment all Touya can do is sigh softly, your scent filling his nostrils, his fingers tightening around your waist as his face heats up.

Finally he speaks again. His voice is slightly breathless. “That’s not bad, but go again…with a bit more passion this time.”

You adjust yourself on his lap to sit more comfortably before speaking. “Uhm, can you show me how?”

Touya snickers at that. You really haven’t done this before, have you? He thinks to himself amusedly

“Sure… I’ll show you…”

Finally his hands start to move, slowly wrapping around you before one hand reaches the back of your head. Leaning forward slightly, as his other hand presses you down a bit more, he leans in and takes control of the kiss.

It turns into a deeper kiss, as his hands work on your body. The movements of his mouth against yours are more precise now, his tongue beginning to explore the depths of your mouth with confidence.

His grip becomes slightly tighter, his hands digging slightly into you as his arms almost seem to constrict you from the back. His lips are demanding, moving against yours with pressure. He pulls you in ever so slightly and then lets you go, repeating the same motion over and over again, trying to show you how to kiss and how to get into it.

You pull away after a while, feeling slightly breathless as you try to calm yourself from that kiss. “Whoa.”

Touya lets you go as he lets out a soft chuckle. He lets his hands stay where they are, still wrapped around your waist as he looks at you with a grin. After a bit he speaks up again, speaking casually as he leans back in the seat.

“Not bad… But here.”

His body moves again, this time more slowly, as he brings you back in as he presses you against his lips again. He moves his hands to grab the nape of your neck, pulling you forward and making the kiss even deeper than before. The ravenette holds you there for another moment before finally letting you go again, speaking with a confident tone.

“There,” a hand runs through your hair as he leans back in the seat a bit. Touya looks at you with a soft smirk on his lips.

“See? Like that,” he speaks before adding teasingly. “Are you sure you haven’t kissed before?”

Your cheeks are flushed as you pant softly, trying to regain some form of composure. “That was—“ you gulp, letting out a shaky breath. “Awesome.”

Touya chuckles at your reaction, the soft smirk still on his lips. His body relaxes a bit as he leans back in the seat again. The way you react and your inexperience is almost adorable. But it’s also a lot of fun.

“I can show you more than just how to kiss if you want…” He says, teasing you a little.

“Really?” You breathe out as your panting slowly calms down.

“I can feel you, down there.” You mutter softly, gesturing towards his obvious bulge.

Touya lets out a quiet chuckle in response. He moves one hand slowly to your rear, letting it rest on your backside. With the other hand he plays with a lock of your hair before speaking in a teasing, raspy voice.

“Oh… You can feel that, can you?”

“Yeah…” You mumble with a mix of shyness and eagerness. “Can I see it?”

Touya laughs as he feels his body heating up once again. He keeps his hand on your rear and shifts his body closer so that you’re basically straddling him. Your thighs are pressed right up against his waist and his other hand reaches up to the side of your face.

“Are you sure you want to see it?”

“Please…?” You add, lips jutting out as you do so.

Touya lets out a soft sigh, his breath hitched a bit. Your bratty pout is both annoying and cute at the same time. “Such an impatient brat…”

His tone is still teasing but he finally lets out a small sigh. With his hand still on the side of your face, his other hand reaches down to unbuckle his belt, undoing it slowly. All you can hear is the subtle sound of a zipper being undone and pants unzipped as his hand disappears from your side. He lets out a brief grumble before speaking again, his tone still being teasing.

“So, you really want to see it, huh…”

Still not taking his hand away, he gently pushes your head down. There may be no mistaking it as he gently pushes you even closer, your face only a few inches away from what was earlier tucked into his jeans and now out in the open.

Touya looks down at you from above, that snarky smirk remaining on his face as he watches you from this angle. There’s no denying the fact that you’re adorable when you look up at him like that. He’s only half joking when he calls you a little brat… And yet something about the way you act and the things you say makes him want to have you all to himself. It’s something he’d never admit out loud however.

He waits for a response, but there’s none yet. The corner of his lips starts to twitch as a smirk forms, knowing full well why you’re staying quiet. Finally your gaze moves lower, and your lips part as you stare. Touya keeps your head in place with a firm grip on your head as your gaze remains glued on that spot.

You swallow thickly as you gaze at his size with awe. “Can I touch it?”

Touya lets out a breath, he can’t help but feel a little bit amused. Your eyes are so fixed, it’s adorable. Finally he lets your head go once more, giving you the freedom to do whatever you want.

“Go ahead… I won’t stop you.”

Touya tilts his head up again to look at you from above. He lets out a small chuckle as he finally sees your hands move to the front of his pants. When you touch it, his body reacts with a subtle twitch from the sudden sensation. You can almost feel him shiver in your grip.

Touya looks down at you again, a devious smirk forming on his lips as your hand squeezes his shaft experimentally. He sighs softly and his lips curve up into a sly, suggestive smile. He’s just enjoying the sight of you right now, watching the look of curiosity on your face as you take in his size.

Touya lets his lips curl up into an even wider smug grin as your hand starts to move faster. His hips rock forward ever so slightly with the motion of your hand. Another small gasp comes from his lips and he leans back in the seat with his eyes closed.

“Am I doing this right?” You ask curiously.

With a slight nod, he whispers softly. “Mhm… You just keep doing what you’re doing.”

Just touching him is driving him insane… It feels so good, he’s enjoying every moment of it. His breathing grows even heavier now as a raspy moan escapes his lips in response to the light brushing of your fingertips. He shifts once again, spreading his legs further to give you more room to work with.

He lets his gaze fall on you again, watching you take his piece of flesh in your hand like this. His lips curve up into a smirk as he speaks softly for the first time in a while.

“Do you really have no experience?” He asks teasingly.

You gulp audibly, feeling the heat between your legs grow as you continue your experimental touches. “I wanna taste it.”

You mumble breathlessly before peering up at him, licking your lips as you feel your mouth watering at the thought. “Can I?”

That takes him by surprise. As soon as you speak up he opens his eyes once more, looking at you and noticing the breathlessness in your voice. The way you gulp and the way your body reacts to his touch tells him everything he needs to know. Though he lets out a soft, smug laugh when you ask that last question.

“I don’t see why not…”

He pauses briefly, giving you a teasing grin before adding, ”Just don’t disappoint me.”

He spreads his legs even more. After a moment, when he’s satisfied that there’s plenty of room for you to work with, he simply nods once again, allowing you to do as you please. You’re slow and hesitant in your movements as you bring it closer to your mouth, starting off by licking it experimentally.

“Mm…” Touya lets out a raspy moan of satisfaction as he notices you’re slowly and timidly moving. He can’t deny that it’s very erotic. But it’s also extremely cute. Your hesitation is almost as cute as your eagerness. He stays silent for a few more seconds, wanting to see how you feel as you give it a little lick.

Yet another moan escapes his lips again as your tongue rubs over him. You can feel him shiver slightly as he feels the sensation, his body moving in response to your tease. He closes his eyes and leans back the best he can with the little room he has left, his lips curling up into a small smirk.

“Keep going…” You feel your mouth water as you suddenly swallow as much of the length as you can fit in one go.

You’ve gone too far, and now his reactions are becoming even more intense. His throaty mumbles turn into loud groans as his entire body starts trembling. He shifts once again, pressing his back against the back of the seat as he tries his best to keep quiet. He's struggling to maintain any sort of control over himself, but with every suck you give him, his willpower weakens a little bit.

With a satisfied grunt, he finally finds some degree of control as he lets out another small moan and leans back once again. “God… So good…”

He moves one hand upwards, gripping onto the seat as his other hand shifts to the back of your head. You can hear your name escape his mouth as he lets out another small moan.

And just like that, you feel his hands shift. His one hand grips your head lightly as he gently takes control and moves. The slight change in motion is almost imperceptible but you do notice that he holds his breath for a moment as you lick him. It takes him a few seconds to recover as he lets out a loud moan. He lets go of your head and his fingers bury themselves in your hair as he shifts in his seat.

You can feel his grip tighten and a small shiver runs through your body as his hand moves your head up and back down again, this time with a bit more force.

“R-right there… Fuck, don’t stop… Mm…” Touya lets out quiet but clearly noticeable groans as your mouth works its magic. You gag slightly as the sudden force makes you choke slightly on his length, which urges you to send him a bratty glare despite low-key enjoying it.

Touya lets out a raspy chuckle at your glare, a smugness in his expression as he looks at you. The pressure he’s applying is steady but gentle enough not to hurt you or make you choke too hard.

"You're enjoying that, huh..." He lets out a small grunt and a muffled moan as you keep moving your head up and down. His hand keeps a firm grip on your hair, keeping you in place.

Touya keeps this up for a few more moments, his breathing getting heavier as your mouth works up and down repeatedly. He starts to growl softly, trying to hold back a little. This is just as much of a pleasure for him as it is for you. His grip tightens once more as his growls get louder. The grip is still not rough but firm enough to make sure you don’t slip up while working on him.

Touya’s body finally gets to that point, making him let out a loud moan as his grip around your head tightens some more. His hand on the side of your face moves up to the back, making sure you stay in position as he pushes you further and further. His eyes are closed as he relaxes a bit more against his seat.

Touya lets out another breath as he finally speaks with a raspy voice. “Keep going… Don’t stop… Fuck don’t stop…”

He lets out a raspy moan as your mouth continues to work on him as he tilts his head back a bit. His fingers dig into your hair as he pushes you back down, not letting your head move away from him. The grip on your head becomes tighter and more demanding as he holds you down.

“You really are good at this…” His hands grip your head tightly, letting you feel just how much he’s enjoying this as he lets out a few more sounds. He tries his best to be as quiet as possible since you’re in a parking lot, but it’s becoming harder and harder to not get too loud. As his grip on your head tightens even more, his moans become increasingly louder. He feels like he’s losing himself…

You pull away, taking a shuddering breath as you look up at him with glassy eyes and shiny lips, panting lightly. “Tou-chan, I want you.”

Touya’s eyes flutter open for a moment as he feels you stop with the sudden movement. Seeing the effects of your ‘experiments’ on you is quite exciting for him as his breath hitches and his heart rate picks up drastically. The grip on your head tightens again as he sees you squirm slightly.

Touya grunts in affirmation as his voice remains raspy, a smugness written all over his face. “I want you too, you little pervert.”

“Sorry…” You pant before a small cheeky grin grazes your features as you had completely forgotten about your previous unsureness. “You just taste so good.”

Touya chuckles softly at your comment, he can’t help it. You’ve clearly changed your mindset after that little ‘testing’ and now you’re a lot more eager. He tilts his head up again, taking in the view of your glassy eyes as you pant faintly, your lips shiny with saliva. The grip on your head remains firm this time though, not moving even slightly as he keeps his gaze on yours.

“You really think so?”

“Yeah,” you pant out, gulping audibly as you nod shakily.

Touya grunts softly as he sees you nod. His gaze shifts down in between your closed thighs for a minute, your wetness clearly evident on your skirt as he shifts in his seat again. The ravenette finally looks up at your face, that smugness back on his lips as he speaks again.

"How much do you want me…? Don't hold back..."

“So much that I want you to be my first,” you suddenly blurt out in the heat of the moment.

“I’ve liked you for years,” you admitted with a small, flushed smile. “It doesn’t matter if we go back to being just friends afterwards, but I really want you to be my first.”

That takes Touya off-guard for a moment, his body momentarily freezing in place from your words. You don't know how long he's waited to hear those words from you. Eventually he exhales and sighs softly with a soft grin. Touya looks down at you again, that smug look never leaving his features.

"You want me that badly, huh..." He moves closer to you once again, his lips literally within an inch from your own.

“More than anything,” you mumble softly.

Touya smiles at that, that smugness still on his face, but it's mixed with a soft look, showing his adoration for you. The ravenette grins at your words, you sound so cute when you get all steamy like this. It’s something he has been fantasizing about for a while, and it looks like you’ve finally come around.

Touya leans forward the rest of the way and presses his lips fully against yours, the force behind it a bit more this time, as his hand moves to your rear again, giving your buttocks a small squeeze. His other hand grips your neck tighter, keeping you in place as it moves to your hair. Touya leans into it, and this time, he doesn't let you break away. His lips start to move against yours once more.

“I love you,” you mumble breathlessly between hot and steamy kisses.

Touya freezes up for a time as you let out those words. His lips part from yours as he looks down at you. He blinks a bit and slowly takes in what you just said. It makes his heart skip a beat.

After a few seconds, he lets out a small chuckle though it sounds more like a breathless gasp. His grip around you tightens once more as his reply comes out in a raspy, but soft voice.

“I love you too… I love you so much…”

“Please take me,” you speak sweetly with a small pout.

The way you say those words makes your cheeks go red immediately. You can pretty much see the effect these words had on him. You finally confessed to him. You admitted your feelings and told him you want this as much as he does. Touya is speechless, he didn't expect this to end that way, but it definitely did in the best way possible.

He reaches up to your cheek with one hand, rubbing gently over it as he looks down at you with a flirtatious smirk. “Heh… Is that a request or a demand?”

Touya smirks at your pout, his thumb rubbing on your cheek as he looks at you. You can tell from his tone, he’s enjoying himself. Your response makes him want to tease you even more now.

“I want you inside of me,” you mumble impatiently, your lips jutting out even more.

That’s what he wanted to hear…

He lets out a breath, this is the kind of dirty talk he’s always enjoyed. The way you describe your own needs is hot and definitely makes him desire you more. He lets out a quiet laugh before he responds, the way he spoke was not the same as it used to be before your confession.

“Is that so, now…” Touya’s grip on your rear tightens slightly as he rubs gently on your ass.

With a small smirk, he immediately pulls you towards him, causing your bodies to press tightly against one another as his lips finally make contact with yours. He begins to slowly move his tongue into your mouth. Your kiss slowly grows more intense as he moves his tongue around, exploring your mouth as he holds you close to him.

The sudden switch from your hesitant behavior to this… It’s pretty surprising. With a soft laugh, he pulls away again, his lips curling into a playful grin.

“That's what you’re asking me for, huh?” He lets out another chuckle as he leans his head close to your shoulder, whispering softly directly into your ear.

You pout slightly, “Quit teasing me.”

“You want me to quit teasing you?” He leans back so that he can look at you again once more as he tilts his head up while speaking with a smug tone.

“Is this adorable brat asking me to stop?” Touya’s grip on you remains tight as he stares at you for a moment. The look on his face says just how much he enjoys playing with you.

“Stop being so mean,” you whine, looking at him with puppy eyes. “Pretty please with a cherry on top.”

“Awww…~” Touya lets out a quiet chuckle as you beg him with those puppy eyes and that whiny tone. Touya can’t resist that look. He finds it so damn adorable. You’re so easy for him to tease.

He keeps his grip on your body tight as he moves his face even closer to yours. You can feel his breath brushing against your neck as he leans against you and whispers his next words.

“That’s not how you beg, you brat…”

“Will you please fuck me?” You beg with wide glassy eyes, batting your lashes to appear cuter. “I need to feel you inside me—to feel that big fat cock rearrange my insides to the point nobody else could ever please me as much as you could.”

Those words coming out of your mouth, and that soft, desperate tone… It drives the ravenette crazy. A loud moan escapes him as he hears you say those words. His grip on your body tightens even more as he lets you go for a moment, to catch his breath.

Your words are such a turn-on for him. The way you just spoke right now is one he’d only hear in porn, you speak with such filthy language. He swallows thickly as he takes in the effect of your dirty talk. It's so blunt and crude, but so damn hot. That playful begging and your soft, vulnerable tone, it’s quite the combination as he stares at you with a smug smile on his face.

Touya's smile grows wider, almost to the point of being teasingly malicious as he stares you right in the eyes. Your body is so soft, so vulnerable and that tone just makes him want to take you right here and now. His grip around your waist tightens once more as he speaks again, this time with a sinister grin.

“That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, you naughty little slut…”

“Just be gentle,” you whisper breathlessly.

The way he was talking with you—in such a degrading manner at that—was making you feel extremely hot. Yet you couldn’t help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness as you realized that you’re actually about to lose your virginity to your childhood friend/crush.

Your mix of emotions is one that makes him want to take you even harder, to show you how much he wants you. To show you how much he’s desired this for years.

The ravenette lets out an amused laugh as he hears you ask him to go slowly for you, to be gentle. Oh, that’s rich… But he doesn’t voice his thoughts just yet as he leans up against you again, his eyes staring right into yours as he slowly speaks with a teasing tone.

“Who’s saying you deserve that?”

You pout, tilting your head slightly to the side to make yourself even cuter and more fragile. “Pretty please…?”

There was a childish lilt in your voice as your lips jutted out even more. “Didn’t you say that you love me too?”

You're doing this on purpose… You have to, there’s no way you’re not. The playful pout and the way you tilt your head to the side, there is no way it’s not on purpose. The way you ask for him to go slow with such a soft tone and the sudden mention of his confession… You’re making him soften up on purpose. You want a nice, soft gesture from him? You’re trying to make that happen.

Touya sighs softly, knowing full well he’ll cave under the pressure. His lips curl into a teasing smile as his gaze narrows at you. “Am I supposed to say yes to that just because I love you?”

He continues to look at you as he lets out a breath, not yet revealing what his answer will be. Does he intend to go easy or will he just pound you and tear you apart? That's for you to wait for. But you can tell by the grin on his face that you've already gotten through to him. Despite the knowledge, you still nodded affirmatively while flashing him a sickeningly sweet smile to get your way.

“Very well, you naughty little brat... I’ll go slow for you, since you asked me so nicely…” His reply comes out in a soft tone, with a smirk. He relaxes his shoulders as he stares at you with a smug look, but the moment has finally gotten to him. The way you have to ask him to be gentle makes it feel like you trust him after all.

He runs his tongue on your cheeks once more as he finally leans up against you, taking his time doing this. His tongue slowly makes its way down your neck, causing you to shiver and squirm as he continues licking and kissing your skin. The effect this had on you is quite visible as you breathe heavier and moan quietly.

Touya lets out a soft laugh as he hears you whimper and moan. The way you squirm as his tongue and lips move down your skin...is so damn hot. He slowly reaches his hand on your thigh now, getting even closer to your soft, juicy center.

Touya’s hand moves up to your thigh as it rests close to your wetness. As his tongue and mouth continues to move down your skin, he presses lightly against your thigh for a bit before moving even closer, using his thumb to trace circles around your wetness. The tease makes your whole body move, your mouth opening silently as you start to moan quietly.

“So wet already?” He asks you with a quiet laugh and a teasing smirk.

“I’m just horny,” you complain in a whining tone. “And whose fault is that?”

“My fault? Is that so now?” Touya laughs out, finding this to be both amusing and a bit arousing at the same time. His hand continues to play with your wetness as he traces circles around your thigh and inner thighs, his thumb brushing against your clothed clit briefly before moving upwards again.

“Just one more thing…” Touya smirks as leans in closer, his breath still hot and damp on your neck. His lips once again brush against your ear as he whispers softly once more.

“Keep your eyes closed when it happens…”

“Okay…” You breathe out, complying to his wishes.

Touya leans back once again, his hands loosening around your waist. He adjusts himself in his seat a little bit before beginning to move his hand back up your thighs, moving over your dress and slowly starting to unbutton it.

Eventually, after slowly unbuttoning your dress, he reaches the bottom of it. His fingers wrap around the side of your hip as he shifts once again and pulls you closer to him. His other hand slowly makes its way up your thigh as he grabs onto your waist.

He starts to slowly lift your dress up, pulling it over your thighs and leaving it all bunched up in his hands. His cerulean blue eyes flick down at the sight of you under the dress, slowly revealing it all to him. He finally lays his eyes upon what he’s been waiting for. Your pale, slender thighs and soft smooth skin… The small mound of your womanhood. His eyes practically glowing as they wander to the lace fabric of your panties and back up to your face once again.

The ravenette’s hand moves over the lace of your panties, gently rubbing at them with his fingers as he watches your cute, flushed face. He’s seen this many times before now, but never has it been this tantalizing…

“I want to see you,” you mumble softly with a tiny pout, but still keep your eyes closed as he had told you. “Please, let me see you.”

“Hmm… You want to see me, huh?” He chuckles softly as he hears your request. He keeps rubbing his hand over your underwear again, slowly rubbing through your silky skin as he whispers softly once more.

“But for now, keep your eyes shut… I’ll let you see me soon enough…” You let out a whine, but comply nonetheless.

Touya chuckles softly, his eyes wandering down to your body as his hands continue to slowly rub at your underwear with his fingers. He wants you to focus solely on the feeling of his fingers slowly going through your lace underwear… The slow and steady movement of his fingers as it rubs against your skin. Slowly giving your sensitive parts the heat and attention they crave.

“So sensitive…” Touya growls as his fingers continue to explore through the thin fabric of your panties. When he notices just how sensitive you are, he begins to apply a bit more pressure as he rubs his fingers over you.

He keeps this up for a little longer, pressing his fingers against that one spot, the pressure gradually increasing as time goes on. Soon, he can feel the slightest trace of your juices beginning to flow as your breathing becomes a little heavy.

“Mm… Looks like someone’s definitely enjoying this.” Touya chuckles in amusement as his fingers continue to rub at your sensitive spot. He can’t help but bite his lip as he hears your breaths pick up. The sight of you getting wet and excited from his touch is more than enough to get his blood flowing.

He moves his hands away with a small smirk, his tongue briefly flicking out to lick his lips as he watches you. You let out yet another whine at the loss of contact. Touya laughs once again as your whine grabs his attention.

“So, you really want more, huh?” Touya's deep voice echoes inside the car as he finally breaks his silence as he leans back towards your neck, taking another glance at the sensitive spot he just made so damp. “I’ll give you more then… Just let me do something first…”

After taking a glance at your damp spot again, he finally decides on giving his fingers a break for now. He slides his hands back down your thighs as he looks back at you once again, noticing that your eyelids are twitching.

“Tou-chan,” you breathe out in a whining tone. With a raspy laugh, he leans in next to your ear again. His breath is still hot and damp against your skin as the tip of his tongue flickers out once more.

“Yes?” He murmurs as his cerulean gaze narrows towards you once more, a little grin on his lips as he leans close to you again. This time his voice is even lower and more husky than before. His tongue flickers out one last time to brush against your cheek as it trails down to your neck again, where he begins to nibble on it.

“Just take them off,” you squirm in his grasp, opening your eyes despite not being allowed to do so yet. “I feel so empty.”

“You shouldn’t have opened them… You know that, right?” Touya’s voice is deeper, a bit more sinister but you can still hear the teasing tone. He speaks calmly but firmly, despite you now going against his wishes. You might be in trouble.

“So you want me to just rip them off and take you right now~?” Touya’s voice has become much more rough. The way he looks at you, you know that all he wants to do is to just break you, to tear you apart and break every single self-control you have to make you beg and whimper for him to stop.

But he knows that you’re too inexperienced for that yet.

“Opening your eyes like that without me letting you… This is going to have consequences, you know, little brat…”

Touya adds with a teasing smirk, but he’s immediately heeding your words and moves to take your panties off. He slides them lower and lower before taking them away completely. His hands move to the side as he takes a look at you, your face becoming flustered when he takes a look at your beautiful body. Once they’re finally out of the way, your soft folds become visible to his eyes.

“So...this is what you meant by empty, huh?” Touya’s deep voice echoes inside the car as he gets a look at your body once again. His breath is still hot and damp as his gaze flicks to your folds. “Pretty sensitive aren’t we...? Hm?”

Touya’s fingers move in closer slowly as he traces circles around your slickness once more, this time putting more pressure than before as he begins to rub and play with you.

You tug on his shirt impatiently as you demand, “Take it off.”

“A very impatient little brat you are, huh…” Touya chuckles softly, taking note of the way you tug at his shirt, his teasing and flirty mood changing a bit as his eyes narrow against you.

He doesn’t speak much as he reaches up and pulls it over his head. The moment his bare chest is visible your body seems to be heating up. The air is thick with heat and desire as he finally lets out a breath.

Your fingers trace his toned chest as you shamelessly ogle him. “You’re so pretty,” you mumble out breathlessly.

Touya gives you a playful smack against the side of your neck as he glances down at you, his tone and expression changing a bit as your hands trace his toned chest. His eyes widening as you compliment him, cheeks becoming a bit red as he glances at you.

“Pretty, am I? You think I’m pretty?” It’s clear that you’ve hit his weak spot as he tries his best to hide his blush.

“Like a piece of poetry,” you breathe out softly.

“Shut it…” Touya’s reply comes out as a playful tone as he gives you another light smack this time across your cheek, but the moment you compliment him his attitude changes a bit.

Touya lets out a breath as he glances elsewhere, not knowing what to say in response to that. You can tell that you caught him off guard with your words of appreciation. He wasn’t used to being complimented like that by anyone, certainly not by the person he had been crushing on since childhood. His cheeks remain a bit red for a reason.

You position yourself over his bare shaft, gripping his shoulders tightly. “I’m on birth control so…” You trail off, waiting for him to help you.

“So that means…” Touya’s voice trails into a soft and teasing moan as he hears you say those last words. His voice becomes lower and even more husky as he grabs on to your hips, his cerulean eyes once again glance up at your body. His hand moves to your hip as he stares up at you, pupils dilated as he watches you move over his shaft.

“So you want this to be raw…?” Touya’s voice becomes somewhat teasing once again as he looks at you, giving you a playful smirk as he looks between your legs.

He doesn't speak another word as he leans in and bites your shoulder gently before letting out a breath. His hips grind against yours briefly as he gets more riled up with each passing minute.

You swallow thickly, getting equally nervous and excited. “So, am I just supposed to slide down or…?” You ask hesitantly, unsure on how to continue.

“It’s pretty self explanatory, don’t you think?” His voice grows deeper and more hoarse. The ravenette’s hands move to your thighs as he grips onto them, his eyes glancing straight ahead as he moves back against the vehicle’s fabric seats. His mouth moves up to your neck again as he plays with your body even more. His legs shift slightly as he moves himself into a better position.

That’s your cue to move up to him once more. He’s done pretty much everything to set the scene for you. His hands slowly grip your body as he shifts your hips so it’s easier to enter. He wraps his arms around you and kisses you tenderly on the mouth.

“Now you know…” Touya smirks against your mouth as he pushes himself against you, causing his tip to graze your folds. His breath is hot and wet as he moves his hips against you again. He moves further back against the car seat before pressing himself against you again, his body making contact with your slickness but not fully inside of you yet.

The sensation of his tip touching your folds makes your body tense. You take a shuddering breath as you let him guide you, the grip on Touya’s shoulders tightening significantly from the intrusion. Biting your bottom lip softly as you did your best to relax your body in order to make the experience less painful and more pleasant.

"S’tight, doll." Touya lets out a rough moan as you tense up, cursing under his breath and keeping his hips still to help you cope with the pain. It takes him a bit longer to notice that you're gripping his shoulders, but as he does he just chuckles gently as he kisses your neck once again.

He begins to slowly move himself against you again, rubbing his tip against your folds as he begins to move deeper slowly.

“W-wait a bit,” you mumble shakely, making Touya stop his movements immediately as soon as you tell him to. The ravenette lets out a small grunt as you halt him for a bit, gritting his teeth as he holds himself still, his grip tight but steady around you.

“Mm? What’s wrong, doll?” He whispers softly in your ear as he tries to assure you and keep you calm.

“S-sorry…” You flush in embarrassment, tensing your body and trying your best to relax as he tries to inch himself in deeper. Legs shaking and trembling a little as you keep them wide open.. “It’s just hard to relax.”

“Hm… So you’re tense, are you?” Touya chuckles as he speaks in a teasing and flirty tone, though he’s still being cautious and slow as he doesn’t want to hurt you in any way. He wants your first experience with him to be a pleasant one, but that seems to be somewhat difficult at this moment.

He leans his head on top of yours and whispers softly to you once again. “Relax for me, doll… Just focus on breathing…” Touya’s whisper comes out in a soothing and tender tone. You take a deep breath before slowly sliding further down.

“There we go… Good girl…” Touya’s voice changes into a soft and tender one once again as his hands let go of your thighs and grasp onto both of your hips, helping you ease your way down into him. His cerulean eyes are fixated on you the entire time as you feel him slide inside of you, inch by inch, slowly and gently.

“Mm… There we go…” Touya’s voice mutters out softly as you slowly take his whole length inside of you, his breath catching in his throat as he feels you fully wrapped around him.

His body is still for a moment, but his breathing begins to quicken as he feels you adjust yourself to his movements. Another shiver travels down his spine as he feels the wetness inside of you, feeling the intensity as he pushes himself deeper. His fingers move down to grip your hips as he slowly starts to move his hips against yours.

Touya’s breathing becomes even faster as he lets your body adjust to his movements, slowly beginning to thrust deep, his hand now gripping your hips firmly as he moves in and out of you slowly and rhythmically. His other hand gently runs through your hair as he moans out softly.

“Mm… You’re so tight…” He says with a deep and husky voice as he glances down at you.

Touya’s pace begins to speed up slowly as his breathing grows heavier with each passing minute. He leans down towards you, biting your skin as his hips begin to grind against yours, his thrusts becoming faster and faster. His cerulean gaze glares into yours once more as he watches your body and the way he makes you moan every time he thrust harder and deeper.

“Mm…” Touya’s voice is a bit more hoarse as he moves quickly now, his breathing heavy as you feel yourself filled and stretched out even further. His cerulean gaze meets yours again as his fingers grip yours tightly, his thrusts faster and faster now.

“Such a tight little hole…” He mutters out breathlessly once again.

“Full,” you moan out. “F-feel so f-full…” You let out a gasp, “S-so big..!”

“Mm~ You really feel me, huh…?” Touya chuckles softly as his fingers grip yours tight. He begins to press his thumbs into your wrists as he thrusts deeper into you and pulls you closer to him. His movements are faster now his breath becomes short and shallow. Each of his thrusts becomes harder and harder as his cerulean eyes glaze over as he moves you closer to the edge. His lips curl up into a small smirk as he watches your reactions closely.

You let out a startled gasp at the change in pace, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. “Th-there! Please keep hitting there,” you moan.

“Oh~ You like that spot, don’t you?” He smirks playfully as he hears you tell him to hit that spot. His thrusts grow rougher, more intense, as he hits your G-spot exactly where you need it. He grips your body even tighter as you feel yourself about to reach your climax. A light sweat begins to coat his body as his cerulean eyes grow glazed, all the while you the tip of his shaft touch that one spot inside of you that makes you moan out.

You nodded shakily, unable to pronounce any words as you kept moaning softly into his neck. He could tell just how good you were feeling as your body was literally reacting to his motions.

“Mm~ You like that, huh…” His voice grumbles as he moves even quicker inside of you, his thrusts growing even faster as he hits all those sensitive spots.

“Such a good girl… All mine…” He whispers softly before biting your neck once again, leaving a small mark.

Touya lets a breath escape from his mouth, his body shaking a bit as he gets even closer to climax. He grips into your hips tighter than ever before as his body grows tense with each passing moment.

“Y-yes! ‘m all yours!” You moan, gripping his shoulders so tightly as if your life depended on it as you tried to meet his thrusts. “P-please don’t stop! You make me feel so good!”

“Oh~ Such a needy girl…”

Touya’s lips curve up into a smug smirk as he feels you start to move against him, your body moving in the same rhythm as his own, making it much easier for the two of you to climax. He begins to move his hips even quicker, his breath beginning to quicken as he approaches the precipice. With each passing thrust he felt a bit of himself build up inside of you. He lets out a deep grumbling that tells you exactly how close he is.

“S-so good!” You moan out breathlessly, biting your bottom lip softly as you try to keep up with his pace. You pull away from his neck, breathing heavily as you face him. “K-kiss me, please.”

His lips curve up into a playful grin. “Oh… Are you begging me, doll…?~”

You find that his grip has loosened up just a bit as he holds onto you more loosely now. His free arm moves up to stroke your face as he leans back slightly. Touya then stares into your eyes once more as his cerulean gaze meets yours. His lips curl up into a mischievous smirk once more.

He lets out a breath as he locks his lips on yours, tasting you as his other hand strokes your cheek gently. His caresses move down to your neck once again, rubbing the spot he marked before softly as you continue to make out. The ravenette moves his hips against yours as he’s continuously hitting your G-spot. He bites your lower lip once more as his tongue gently explores your mouth.

The ravenette then lets out a breath as he parts his lips from yours, his breath quickening as he stares at you once again. “God… You’re such a needy little slut… Your tightness is sending me over the edge…” He grips your hips as he thrusts deeper and hits your spot once more, his body twitching as he approaches climax.

“So c-close-“ you sobbed, tears trailing down your flushed cheeks from the overstimulation, clawing at his back uncontrollably. “N-need to cum…!”

“A needy girl like you, so quick and so desperate…” His voice is a soft whisper as he begins to thrust even harder now. His cerulean eyes glaze over as he smirks and bites your bottom lip as you clawed at his back. His body twitches and quivers slightly as he feels you getting into a frenzy.

His hand strokes your cheek slowly as he feels your body tense up even more. He lets out a rough groan as your nails start to dig deeper into his shoulders as you claw at his skin. “C’mon, sweetheart…c’mon… Just a bit more…”

A soft shudder runs down his spine as his hips thrust into you deeply. He feels you tightening around his shaft, indicating that you are approaching your climax. “Fuck, almost there… Just a little bit more…”

“Feeling it?” He whispers softly, his arms wrap around your body tightly as he grips the back of your neck and pulls you back into another kiss. All you can do is moan into his mouth as he keeps hitting that one spot.

He breaks the kiss again after a little bit, breathing heavily as he looks at you once again. He sees your body react to his movements and how your body trembles and quivers with each moment. His grip tightens around you as he whispers softly,

“Ready?” He rasps out as he keeps hitting the spot consistently, not bothering to change up his routine or increase the pace even. He waits for your answer, still not moving his hips faster despite how much you’re clearly enjoying it.

“F-for what…?” You ask confusedly.

He can’t help but grin slightly as he sees how confused you are. How clueless and lost into the moment of pleasure you are. His eyes shift to your mouth briefly as he asks you softly:

“To finish…” He says it just vague enough that it can be taken as anything but he keeps slowly moving and hitting that exact spot as he waits for you to understand what he means. Your mouth forms into an ‘oh’ shape in realization as you let out a moan. He lets out an amused laugh as you moan and realize what he meant.

”Yes!” You moan out. “So close, Tou-chan! Please don’t stop!”

His body tenses even more and he groans as he feels your grip tighten around his shoulders. He kisses your neck even more as he moves with both of your movements, slowly taking you back and forth between his own pace and your own rhythm. He whispers softly as his body continues to grow hotter with your sounds.

“You feel so fucking good…” His voice is still calm but he’s growing more and more breathless with each minute and moment you keep pressing against him and moving against him. He can feel himself getting close.

Touya lets out a raspy groan as he continues to kiss your neck and keeps up with your movements. He picks up the pace even faster as it feels like you’re reaching your peak. His grip becomes tighter as he continues to drive himself into you.

“A-almost—fuck… Keep it up…”

He closes his eyes for a few seconds, taking deep breaths as he tries to gain control over just how much his body is reacting. After a bit, he opens his eyes again and presses his body into you. His breath has gone back to being steadier and slower, but he still holds you firmly and keeps moving slowly, but firmly. He kisses your neck again as he whispers softly to you.

“How you feelin’…?”

“Like I’m about to burst…” You gasp out.

He moans roughly as he watches you writhe and squirm under his grip. He sighs softly as he speeds up slightly, your response and movements make him want to speed up even more, but he ignores the urge of letting himself go all out.

“Don’t let go just yet…” He rasps out, his voice already beginning to become breathy as he moves more and more into you, his grip keeping you firmly in his hold as his movements become faster. “Hold it in for a bit longer.”

He can feel you tensing and quivering under his grip as he feels your body starting to twitch more and more. His grip around your waist is still firm and his body heat grows with each moment as he speeds up again. He keeps his pace for just a little bit longer before he grips your waist tighter with his one arm while he lets go of your back with his free hand. He leans forwards and meets your mouth once again, taking control of the kiss with his tongue.

His body relaxes a little bit while he’s kissing you as his body heat grows hotter and hotter. His grip is tight around you as he keeps pushing and pushing you even more. He can feel your body starting to tense and quiver even more as you grip his back and waist tightly. He can see how much you’re struggling to hold it in, and just when it looks like you’re reaching your peak, he pulls back slightly and whispers into your ear, his breath coming out quick and sharp.

Touya’s voice sounds breathless and breathy when he whispers to you, he feels the tip of his tongue slowly rubbing your ear as it teases you, his grip on your waist and back becoming even tighter as he keeps pushing into you more.

“Almost…” Touya breathes out sharply, pulling his waist away from you slightly. The ravenette breaks the kiss and licks your ear one more time before pulling back even further. His cerulean blue eyes watch you squirm even more as your body tests your limits. He sees your twitching, quivering and tense body as he grips the front of your thighs and squeezes them as he whispers softly to you.

You moan out loudly as you finally reach your peak. Your body explodes in pleasure as pleasure spreads throughout it, flooding your senses as you twitch strongly and your body quivers more. Your tight grip on his body finally lets go as you squirm underneath his grip.

“T-Tou-chan!” It’s more of a cry then it is a moan of pleasure. He pushes deeper into you, finally reaching his climax as he grunts softly.

“Goddamn…” He lets out a final groan as he relaxes once he finally reaches his own peak. He leans in and kisses you one more time before pulling out, breathing heavily.

The ravenette leans back as he lets a breath escape from his mouth. His cerulean gaze meets yours once more as he glances down at you with a small smirk on his face.

“Did you enjoy that, doll…? Was I too rough with you?” He whispers softly, his hand rubs your thigh gently.

“A bit…” You pant softly, cheeks flushed as you snuggled against him. “But I…liked it.”

“Hm… You liked it…?” He lets out a low, husky chuckle as he leans his body back against the car door, his body tired yet satisfied now. “I guess you like it rough, don’t you…? You little naughty girl…”

You let out a soft, tired giggle at his implication. “Can’t believe I lost my virginity in a car that’s parked near a party with my childhood best friend turned boyfriend.”

“Is it weird to say that I find that a bit hot…?” He whispers softly back to you as he glances at you once more with a sly smirk on his face.

You let out an amused snort, “You’re such a horndog.”

“And you aren’t…?~” Touya smirked playfully as he teased you again, causing you to bite your bottom lip as you found yourself unable to find a retort.

“You’re not wrong.”

The ravenette chuckles softly once more as he glances at you again, his cerulean eyes glancing at you with a more teasing and flirtatious look to them. His hand moves back to stroke across your cheek as he leans back against the car door himself.

“I’m going to take it that you really enjoyed it…” He says as he teases you some more as he chuckles once more. “You feel tired…?”

“A bit.” You mumble softly, nuzzling your face against his chest comfortably. “But I don’t wanna sleep naked in your car.”

“Hm…” The ravenette ponders your request for a moment as he looks at you, deciding if he should grant it to you or not. “We can skip the party and…”

He lets a breath escape from his mouth before he gives you a playful smirk. “Just go back to my place. Sounds good?”

“Sounds nice,” you mumbled contentedly. “But next time there’s a party, we have sex only afterwards.”

“Good to know, doll…” Touya smirks in amusement. He then pulls his pants back up and fixes his other clothes before he looks back at you. “Need any help fixing up yours…?”

“Yup,” you nodded, stretching out your hands before grabbing your panties, pulling them on slowly before putting on your bra.

“Can you help me with the dress?” You ask, tilting your head slightly.

Touya’s lips curved up into a small, playful grin as he watched you put on your own panties and your bra first. “Sure,” he says with a nonchalant shrug.

He wraps his arms around you from behind as he helps you put your dress on again, helping you with the straps on the back of your dress before helping you zip your dress up again. His lips tilt into an amused smirk as he chuckles a bit. “It looks good on your body, I have to say…”

“I just remembered that you didn’t compliment me when you saw me in it,” you huffed as you heard his comment.

He lets out a deep chuckle as he finally helps with you putting your dress back on completely. After that he pulls his arm back and sighs softly. A teasing smirk still stays plastered on his lips. “I was probably too focused on how much I wanted to take it off of you…”

“But, now that you mention it… It does look good. It compliments you very well,” Touya says with a bit of an aloof tone. His smirk widens even more as he adds to it with, “It really does hug your body… Quite the good sight~”

You let out an amused snort, “Have I ever mentioned that you’re an asshole?”

Touya lets out a snicker before whispering softly in your ear as he leans forward and nuzzles your neck once more. “And yet here you are, falling for me…” You pout with your usual bratty attitude as he says this with a smug smirk, looking soft and playful as he teases you. He chuckles and nods his head as he turns on the engine.

“Now, let’s get out of here so I can finally fuck you in every position that I’ve imagined, but couldn’t, since we were friends.”

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aritany · 23 days

Text

On Identity: The Truth

Content warnings: homophobia, transphobia, references to self harm and suicide.

I’ve been keeping secrets my whole life.

I’m 10 and I’m listening to my dad at the dinner table, who I know to be the most trustworthy person in the world. He talks about the legalization of marriage between two people of the same sex and asks us to consider the implications. Where do we draw the line in the sand? Legalizing gay marriage paves the way for legalizing pedophilia, after all. If a union between two men or two women isn’t disrespecting the sanctity of marriage, what’s next? Marriage between men and animals?

I’m 11 the first time I hear it: “It doesn’t matter how low I set the bar for you, you still can’t reach it.”

I’m confused and afraid—I’m trying so hard—but I hear it then, and again, and again, spoken low in disappointment, shouted with a vein popping in her forehead, cold like a fact, and it sinks in, bone deep.

I’m 12 with my first crush on a girl. I’m not confused, I know that’s what it is—I want to kiss my friend, and I already know not to talk about it. Never to talk about it. It isn’t safe.

I’m 13 and doubting. I throw myself into fitting in. I pick the right boys to like and I go overboard, and I do like them, I do, I do, I want them to like me, I want to be their friend. I want to be their equal, but that’s not quite how the story goes, so I settle for trying to hold hands with somebody I desperately crave respect from, but that’s wrong too, I learn.

I’m 14 and convicted. How could this be wrong? I brush hands with a girl in choir and we meet eyes and I know. I watch a gay kiss on TV and I sob into my hands and I tell no one, no one, no one.

I’m 15 and I come out to my mom, haltingly, with the terminology that I have, because the thought of hiding forever—keeping quiet through one more dinner—kills me.

She tells me no. She tells me I’m wrong.

I look in her eyes and I understand: it’s not an option, and it never will be.

I’m 15 and I do my best to stop there.

It doesn’t work.

I’m 16 when I first hear my mom say that you can love someone and not approve of their lifestyle. I wonder what kind of love that is. I wonder how that kind of diluted, half-hearted, patronizing love can be enough for anyone. I wonder if she’s thought about how that feels, to be told that who you are—not by choice—is fundamentally wrong.

I’m 16 and a boyfriend is a shield. The right choice, so I make it, and it’s even almost fun. I love being his friend. I’m afraid of anything more.

I’m 17 and my youngest sibling whispers, “So am I.”

My heart breaks for the pain they’ll experience, as they too are taught, painstakingly, how to hate themself. Which parts of themself have to be kept hidden, which parts are shameful. They sit at that dinner table and hear the rhetoric that pushed me to the brink and over it, and I hope they’re stronger than I am.

They aren’t.

I’m 18 and my mom works at a college for the performing arts. I sit and curdle quietly while she talks about her genderqueer students. Misgenders them behind their backs. Deadnames used flippantly. She knows better, after all. She can be the expert on somebody else’s identity. They’re mentally ill, all of them. None of them are happy. They’re searching for something only God can provide.

I’m 19 and I come out as bisexual to the man I’m certain I’m going to marry, tearing the secret out like a bandage fused to skin. He tells me of course it’s fine, that he supports who I am. Of course people like me should have rights, of course. I laugh, relieved. Later, I find out this moment was almost a dealbreaker for him, and I wonder how much was ever real.

I’m 20 and I’m out. I’m 20 and I’m free. I’m 20 and I believe, because I’ve been told, that I am loved for who I am. All of who I am. I still flinch when I hear a car door slam.

I’m 21 and I’m searching for the connection to my womanhood. I’m searching for what makes a woman a woman. I’m reading gender theory and talking to friends around the world and wondering exactly what it is that I’m missing.

What does the rest of the world know that I don’t?

I’m 22 when my marriage ends because my body might not be attractive to my husband one day, and my parents email him in support and solidarity, expressing sympathy, and I’m not surprised.

I’m 22, and standing up for who I am has cost me everything. A spouse, two sets of parents, financial security, a city’s worth of community, more childhood friends than I can count. My parents tell me to go back in the closet so my ex-husband will love me. To them, his frustration is understandable, of course—by presenting androgynously, I’m betraying my marriage vows, after all.

I wonder, stunned into silence, where I promised to look like a woman.

I’m 23 when I come out to my parents for the third time; not as bisexual, not as trans, but as hurt.

I lay out the pain of the last decade as succinctly as I can, hoping they’ll hear. When I assert that yes, to be in relationship with me, use of my name and pronouns is a requirement, my mother jokes, “Well, we don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

It’s not a joke.

I see the flash in her eyes, the instant regret as she laughs it off like it’s funny, but it isn’t.

The kid sitting at the dinner table knows it’s not a joke. The kid who listened to countless lectures on the morality of queerness knows it’s not a joke. The kid who stood with shaking hands and tried to bleed out the bad knows it’s not a joke. Years of casual bigotry taught me how to hate myself, which parts of myself I should cross out and ignore, which parts of myself I should be ashamed of.

I’m 23, and I have finally unlearned shame, and when I ask my parents to see me, the joke is that I’m a terrorist. I’m unreasonable.

The shock of it becomes a balm, later on.

Some jokes aren’t funny.

Some jokes aren’t jokes at all.

I’m 24 and I’m learning that it’s scary to be alone. Bigotry made me an orphan and made us strangers, and knowing that it’s the right choice to stand up for myself doesn’t make it any easier. I’m learning the only way out is through, if you’re not squeamish:

Cut off the part of yourself that’s 7 years old standing outside of their bedroom because the nightmare had teeth and claws and they are the heroes that will hold you close and make it warm again.

Amputate.

Cauterize.

Don’t let them see you bleed.

I’m learning that the wound takes a long, long time to close.

I’m 25 as I write this, and I am proud of who I am, even if I’m still bleeding. All of who I am. It’s taken a long time for me to let that person see the sun, but here we are, basking in the glow. Those wounds are healing. I am visible for everyone else who whispers, “So am I.”

Your sunshine will come. Your sunshine will come.

Your sunshine will come.

#long post #alex talks #tw transphobia #trans day of visibility #international transgender day of visibility #tw homophobia #tw suicide #tw self harm

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theetherealbloom · 1 year

Text

UNEVEN ODDS — CH. 1

Chapter One: These Questions Take Shape

Summary: The Reader is dragged into the Last of Us universe and has no choice but to watch the events unfold live in front of her or will she be able to change what was already written?

Paring: Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 6.1k

Warnings: Age-gap Romance, Violence, PTSD, Depression, Zombies, character death, swearing, angst, fluff, eventual SMUT, MY SCIENCE MIGHT BE WRONG, plot holes, rusty writing, alternate universe

A/N: I write?? Kind of?? Tbh, this self-indulgent for sure! We love maladaptive daydreaming :) Anyways, English isn’t my first language so please forgive me for any grammatical errors or spelling mistakes! Tbh I was just gonna write one chapter per episode but I got too excited :p

Song: doomsday by Lizzy McAlpine

-> Next Chapter | Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

YOUR OBSERVABLE UNIVERSE – 2023

It’s been three years since the pandemic, COVID-19 has taken a toll on many people. Millions have died over the past few years and you were one of the lucky ones who got by, survived, and received the vaccine as soon it was available. The world slowly begins to open up and awake from its slumber during those years of uncertainty.

So what do you do now?

You work, continue with your quantum physics research and try and make sense of your life. Someday you’ll be able to be under the mercy of light to choose your fate and your need to find certainties and concrete science. For now, you enjoy the comforting sounds of characters conversing with each other.

Immediately as the show credits show, you fold your laptop close and prepare for bed. Episode 3 of the Last of Us was the most emotional so far, Bill and Frank’s story reminds you that love will transverse in every universe. With these tired eyes, you’ve seen enough for tonight. Your eyes slowly droop down and close, luring you into a deep sleep in a state of wishful thinking, hoping that you would have that kind of love in your life. But for now, the watercolor vivid dreams will suffice.

TLOU WORLD – 2023

You groggily wake up and find yourself on the floor. Slowly as you sit up, you use one of your hands to rub away the sleep, “What the hell,” you mumble. The anxiety begins to creep in, you recognize the coloring of the walls and the type of flooring used.

You look down at yourself to check what you’re wearing, no longer in your sleep clothes but traded away for cargo pants, a shirt, socks, and black boots. What’s more concerning was the familiar voices just outside the tattered room you were in.

“There’s not gonna be anything bad in here?”

A gruff response comes, “Just you.”

“Oh, funny.”

No. God, no way. This is not happening. This isn’t possible. You must be dreaming, right? You quickly stand up, and as soft footsteps come closer, you see Ellie staring at you with complete shock, “Holy shit!” she screams.

The thundering thumps of footsteps quickly make their way into the room as you stand there in complete shock. Your eyes widen in shock as you are now face to face with the characters you’ve grown to love from last night through your laptop screen right in front of you. This feels like a very cruel joke.

Dark brown eyes, salt and pepper hair, tan skin, and lines that appear as Joel frowns at you, unimpressed and suspicious. While Tess is completely covering Ellie, she narrows her eyes at you and says, “Raise your hands.”

Slowly you follow her command and raise both your hands, not wanting to increase the tension between you and them. Then you try your best to steady the trembling voice that wants to escape from you and directly look at Joel to say, “I’m not infected.”

“Show us your arm and neck.” He replies with his thick southern accent, and you bring your hand to the collar of your shirt to show them your neck and then lift the sleeves of your jacket to prove that you are being truthful.

The tension between the four of you still hadn’t dissipated despite proving that you didn’t have Cordyceps. “You got any weapons?” Tess asks and you shake your head, “No.”

Ellie groans in frustration, “Guys, I need to pee.” And you bite back a smile, her attitude, and unintentional humor. You clear your throat and say, “Um, you two could interrogate me in the other room so she can, uh, relieve herself.”

Ellie’s two protectors give each other a knowing side glance and proceed to lower their weapons that were aimed at you. You take a deep breath and then follow Joel as he first leaves the room while Tess watches and follows you from behind, making sure you don’t try anything funny.

You stand in the center of the room, with lush green grass, and flowers, you tilt your head up to look at the stream of daylight hitting your face. You take note of the overgrown plants and trees, mother nature taking back what’s hers. Eco-brutalists would be ecstatic about all of this, minus the fungi zombies.

Tess breaks the silence and asks, “What’s your name?” You give them your name and ask for theirs, even though you didn’t need to however, it is the polite and fair thing to do. You turn your head to look at both of them. They reluctantly tell you to give them their names as you try and manage to swallow away the fear and secretly hope this was all a dream or maybe a fucked up prank. Tess raises one eyebrow at you, “Where are you from?”

You purse your lips to a thin line and wonder how the hell you were gonna answer that question, you then settle for a, “It’s complicated.”

“Complicated how?” Joel gruffly asks you and you give him a light shrug in response and he scoffs.

Your shoulders sag at his reaction to your words, “I’m not trying to be difficult, I swear. It is complicated and hard to explain, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. And to be honest, I’m trying my best to wrap my head around this and find a way to explain it without sounding completely insane.”

Joel all but frowns at you but continues to ask, “You tryin’ to get to the QZ?” And without even thinking about it you shook your head in disagreement, and immediately followed your response with suspicion growing on their faces and a frown.

Tess looks at you in disbelief and says, “So, what the hell are you doing out in the city with all the infected running around? Going for a stroll?”

Not wanting to answer the question, you pivot to looking at his fractured hand and give him a light nod, gesturing to it, “Does it hurt?”

Tess glances at his hand and pushes Joel to sit on his chair, his hands shaking as he looks at his bloody knuckles. You also choose to sit on the plush cool green grass, the smell of earth fills your nostrils, and then watch the scene play out in front of you.

“Broken.” Tess states that Joel avoids eye contact with his partner in crime, “Maybe a hairline. It’ll heal fast.”

Tess looks down at the grimy floor and folded her hands in an attempt to calm herself, then raises her head as she whispers, “She made it through the fucking night, Joel.” He shakes his head at her, “It doesn’t matter. It’s gonna happen sooner or later. All right? We’re still close to the wall. We sneak both of them back into the QZ. We find a different way to get the battery.”

“This is our best shot,” Tess says unwaveringly with her decision while Joel scoffs, you watch them both like a tennis match and are surprised by the fact they didn’t even acknowledge your presence.

“We take her back into the QZ, someone’s gonna notice her arm. They’re gonna scan her then they’ll kill her.”

He harshly whispers back at Tess, “Well, better them than us. You need to stop talking about this kid like she’s got some kind of life in front of her.”

It felt like extreme deja vu watching Joel and Tess argue, and on queue, Ellie walks back in and throws the magazine on the floor, and slides towards Tess. The kid plops down to sit next to you on the lush grass and you look at her with a small smile.

“You hungry?” Tess asks the both of you as she rummages through her backpack to find the energy bars, “You can share some of ours.”

“Thanks. Marlene sent me with my own.” Ellie says and takes out a chicken sandwich from her bag pocket. Tess looks at you, offering some and you politely decline, the older woman tilts her head and says, “When was the last time you ate?”

“Yesterday.” You say without a thought.

“You wanna try to explain’ how you got here? Cause when we checked, you sure as hell weren’t here. Or how the fuck did you manage to survive this long with nothing?” Tess says as she chews on the bark this world now calls food. You feel your palms sweat and pulse slightly increase, you take a deep breath and say, “This is gonna sound extremely bazaar and completely impossible but try to keep an open mind because literal infected are roaming around the streets so believe anything is now within the realm of possibility. Okay?”

You got a couple of hums with curious gazes and listened as you began to speak, “I’m possibly from a different universe or world where this is all just fiction and you’re characters based on a video game-made television series. No, I have zero ideas how I got here. I went to bed and fell asleep, and next thing I know, I woke up with this painful migraine and fatigue, different clothes and you three suddenly existing.”

You paused as you took in the group gaping at you and you sigh, “From where I came from, we had a similar thing happen, a pandemic. However, it was a virus, not Cordyceps. We called it COVID-19, it could be transmitted through an infected person's mouth or nose in small liquid particles when they cough, sneeze, speak or breathe. The outbreak started in December 2019 and 6.84 million people died in the last three years during that time. We were able to make a vaccine at a rapid rate since our technology had advanced, and we were able to distribute it globally, so in the current year which we both share, which is 2023, we’re slowly trying to find our footing again as the world opens up.”

You feel your eyes glaze over, and you then shut them as you continued, “I know it sounds fucking impossible, trust me, a lot thought so too. My scientific hypothesis is that the multiverse does exist and somehow sleep or dreaming is connected to it. I really don’t know, it was all just theoretical.”

“Prove it.”

You open your eyes and look at Joel, completely surprised he spoke, “What?”

Joel’s baritone voice and defensive stare felt like electricity through your bones, “I said, prove it.”

If there’s anything you were good at, it was reading a ton of books in a short period and memorizing the important details and plot points. Visual memory paired with the love you had for these characters had you rewatching the three episodes over and over again. Quietly, you thank the younger you for being so nerdy.

You look Joel dead in the eye and turn to the kid beside you quietly looking at you while eating her sandwich, “Your name is Ellie, you got bitten by an infected while you snuck into the mall and then Marlene found you soon afterward. Those two,” you point your thumb in their direction, “need to get you to the state house in exchange for a battery so they can go find Tommy who has been missing for almost a month.”

“Holy shit. She knows my name.” Ellie said with her mouth full of her food.

You turn back to look at Joel and Tess, and then glance at his broken wristwatch, “And, um, Joel, I know how your watch broke, I’m so– .”

“Stop.” Joel lowly says, his stare as cold as ice and distrusting of you. You avert your gaze, and a blanket of silence covers the room. Shakily Joel eats his bark of food and Tess stares at you and Ellie as she chews and swallows, “Is that chicken?”

“Yup. Marlene said they get it from smugglers.” Ellie then thoughtfully tilts her head, “Guess not you guys.”

That does it for Tess and stands up to walk towards you and the kid, “Hey, hey!” Joel says as he stands up after her but Tess holds her hand out to stop him and to signal it’s fine, “Why are you so important to Marlene? And don’t lie to me, or we’ll take you back.”

“Like she said,” the kid gestures to you, “If you take me back, you don’t get your battery.” Tess scoffs, “You heard that?” and Ellie shrugs at her, the older woman mock laughs, “Then you must’ve heard he wants to shoot you.”

Ellie looks toward Joel and he doesn’t deny it, he simply stares back at her.

“If you do that, it would be the dumbest shit you’ll ever do.” You mumble while frowning, Tess turns to you and harshly says, “Zip it, this doesn’t concern you.” And you take what she said in stride and don’t push it any further.

She then crouches down to talk to Ellie, “I’m gonna talk to you like you’re an adult. Okay?” She then takes Ellie’s silence as consent to continue, “Joel and I aren’t good people. We’re doing this for us because apparently, you’re worth something. But we don’t know what you’re worth if we don’t know what we have. So answer my question.”

Ellie rolls her eyes, rubs her face, and mumbles to herself, “She told me not to tell anybody and now I’m telling the first people that I…” She lets out a sigh and reluctantly speaks, “There’s a Firefly base camp somewhere out west with doctors. They’re working on a cure.”

Joel immediately groans in frustration, “I’ve heard this before.” Ellie continues, “And whatever happened to me,” and at the same time she and Joel say, “is the key to finding the vaccine.”

He sighs in exasperation, “That’s what this is? We’ve heard this a million times. Vaccines, miracle cures. None of it works. Ever.”

Ellie stands up, “Fuck you, man. I didn’t ask for this.”

“You and me both.” The grouch turns to his partner and says, “This isn’t gonna end well, Tess. We need to go back.”

You then remember after all those essays and news articles about your pandemic, the time when everything felt so hopeless and scary. You look at Joel and you see a reflection of your own, his fear and panic, “It’s possible.”

They both turn to you and you continue, “Theoretically, it’s possible to create a fungi vaccine, however, I’m not even sure you have the technology to produce it. And it would take finding out what Ellie truly is. Either Ellie’s immune system mutated and created antibodies to fight against the Cordyceps or something else… But either way, a vaccine or maybe a cure could be possible now because of her.”

Tess stands up, as do you, and looks at Ellie for a moment, then to Joel to say, “Let’s just finish it. It doesn’t matter if she is what the Fireflies or what an alien says.”

“I’m human.” You grumble and Tess ignores you, “If they believe that she is then we get what we want.”

Joel gives a glare at Ellie and then shifts his gaze to you, he sighs and shakes his head, “If she so much as twitches.”

Ellie proceeds to make gurgling noises and movements to pretend as if she’s turning into an infected. Tess turns to look at her and scolds in a motherly fashion, “Don’t.” You try and hold in your laugh and the young girl clears her throat, scratches the back of her neck, and mumbles, “Yeah… okay.”

Tess then turns to Joel, “Okay?”

Defeated, Joel swings his arms open and whispers, “Okay.”

The foreshadowing of the fact it will not be okay in the next few moments had you feeling nauseous. The churning fear begins to bubble inside of you, Tess is going to die, albeit a noble and honorable death, but it still would hurt Joel, and Ellie as she slowly grows more fond of the older woman. Then, it hit you, is it possible to change what already was written? Could you save them all? Well, you’re already here, might as well try.

The three of them begin to pack their belongings as you awkwardly stand there with your hands in your pockets and watch as they prepare for the journey to the State House. The sound of Joel picking up his gun catches Ellie’s interest, “Can I have a gun?”

“Absolutely not.”

“No.”

“Okay. Fine. Jesus. I’ll have to throw a fucking sandwich at them.” Ellie then shoves the leftover sandwich into her bag and Joel goes to the giant bookshelf, which is blocking the door, to the side, then peaks out of the door to check if it’s safe. You hear the sound of birds chirping and feel the warmth of the light flood in the abandoned building.

“It’s clear.”

Following Ellie from behind, you begin walking slowly toward the light and into the apocalyptic city. Your eyes take in the sight of tilted, destroyed, buildings, overgrown plants, trees, abandoned cars, and trucks. A hauntingly beautiful sight if you were being honest.

Ellie gasps in wonder as she takes it all in, “Woah.” Tess looks over at her and says, “Yeah, looks different in the daylight, huh?” Joel quickly scans the area, “We should get moving.” Tess begins to take the lead, followed by Ellie then you, while Joel trails from behind.

“It’s like a fucked up moon.” Ellie moves towards a crater and peers over it, “Is this where they bombed?”

“Yeah, they hit most of the big cities like this. They had to slow the spread somehow.” Tess says and Joel continues to walk past it, ignoring the crater and any kind of conversation. “Worked here, but it didn’t in most places.”

Unconsciously, you begin humming to the tune of a Linda Ronstadt song. The last song you ever heard before sleeping. Continuing up to a ruined building, with debris blocking your path, “So the State House is across there. It’s about a ten-minute walk if you could go straight.”

Ellie looks at both of them and you wonder how the fuck you were gonna defeat the clickers later on with no weapon, “So…”

“Long way or short way?” Joel asks Tess, she holds the straps of her backpack and the wind blows through her hair, “I mean, it’s a long way or the we’re-fucking-dead way.”

“Well, I vote a long way just based on that limited information,” Ellie says dryly, and Joel stares at her, a puzzled expression on his face, then his eyes lands on you, waiting for your input.

You frown at him, “No, don’t look at me like that. I’m not giving you any spoilers.” Joel clenches his jaw and turns to Tess, “We have to check it from the hotel first.” She begins to walk away, “Okay.”

You walk along the highway in somewhat comfortable silence, you carefully look to the ground and see a giraffe plushie, the symbolism doesn’t escape you, knowing all too well what it meant. Moss and different kinds of plants grow over the cracks of the road, you spot branches atop abandoned cars and dust covers the windows of each door.

Tess and Ellie begin conversing in front of the group, while you and Joel follow from a distance. You look at Joel and say, “I’m sorry if I overstepped a while ago. I couldn’t prove it unless I told you something only you knew.”

He looks at you in an emotion you can’t quite understand, but still responds in his grumpy demeanor, “Just don’t bring it up again.” You quickly nod, “Mhm, noted.”

It was quiet for a bit until, to your surprise, he asks you, “What did you do for work?” The smile was so difficult to hold back, you chuckle and raise your eyebrows, “I’m… well, was a Quantum physicist. You were a carpenter right?”

“It kinda’ freaks me out how you know that off the top of your head.” His Texan accent heavy as he spoke, you knew that it would take time to build his trust. His reserved and security-oriented nature would prove to be a challenge, but something you wholeheartedly would take on, “I’ll try not to do it as much, I’m sorry.”

“You apologize too much.”

“It’s a habit I’m trying to break, to be honest.” You chuckle nervously, putting your hands in the pockets of your cargo pants, and continue to walk, watching and hearing bits of conversation from Tess and Ellie.

“I thought you were some sort of’ performer, a singer maybe, with all that hummin’ you were doin’ awhile ago.”

That catches you off guard and you feel the confusion form on your face and you begin to feel your face feel warm, “What?” Joel continues, “You were hummin’ to Linda Ronstadt, right? Haven’t heard that song in a while.” You stared at him in complete disbelief, “You heard me humming?”

As he was about to reply, you and him managed to catch up to Ellie and Tess to overhear their conversation, “How old are you?” Ellie replies, “Fourteen.” Tess hums and smirks at the kid, “Wow. Well, I mean you got some balls on you, sister.”

“Thanks,” Ellies says and follows after Tess, climbing over the flipped rusted car. You follow their movements and Joel does too.

Tess curiously looks over her shoulder at Ellie and continues her walk forward, “Nobody is gonna come after you, right? Like Mom, Dad, boyfriend?”

“I’m an orphan, and, uh, no.” Ellie takes a look around her surroundings and lets her hand brush on the tall grass growing from the cracks of the pavement, “Everyone said the open city was crazy. Like, swarms of infected running around everywhere.”

Joel humors her, “Not exactly like that.” Tess smiles, “You know people like to tell stories.”

“So there aren’t super-infected that explode fungus spores on you?” Ellie curiously asks with a somewhat happy tone, as if all of this doesn’t scare her. Fearless is what you conclude, a trait that could be good when at its best but dangerous and reckless at its worse. “Shit, I hope not,” Tess says.

“Or ones with split-open heads that see in the dark like bats?” Ellie asks and that causes a shift in Tess, Joel, and your demeanor. Fucking clickers. And on queue, you hear the screeching of the devil’s spawn in the distance. The whole group stills and Ellie shakily asks, “What was that?”

Joel doesn’t reply, instead, he just says, “Let’s keep movin’.”

Joel pushes the doors of the hotel open, loudly shrieking as he does, and all three of you are greeted with the sight of the flooded hotel. It was almost swamp-like due to the green water, lily pads floating, and the ducks and frogs swimming.

Ellie takes a spin and looks at the view with a childlike wonder you wish you still had, “You’ve got to be kidding me! You ever stay in a place like this?” “Uh, no, a little out of our league.” Tess says and Joel looks at Ellie and asks, “How do you even know what this is?” Being the smartass that she throws him a look and says, “Have you heard of books?”

You chuckle as Joel shakes his head and walks down into the murky water, “Wait we’re going in there?” Ellie asks, and Tess nods, “Yeah, we gotta get to the stairwell on the other side.” The kid takes a step back, “Well, I don’t… I don’t know how to swim.” Joel lifts an eyebrow, “Seriously?”

“Do you think we have pools in the QZ?” Ellie says with narrowed eyes. “No, smart-ass. I mean…”, Joel does a little jump into the water, it does a small splash when he does. “I don’t know how I was supposed to know that,” Ellie says as she walks down the steps and into the water, you follow behind her and Tess.

You four wade through the green murky water, “This is so gross.” Ellie says with a huge smile on her face and you can’t help but laugh, “This is disgusting.” The fourteen-year-old spots the concierge desk and makes her way over, “Oh, check it out!”

You place both of your hands on your hips and watch her mess with the call bell, “Ding, ding.” She begins to do her form of roleplay for her entertainment and to cure her boredom, “Yes sir. I would like your finest suite, please.”

“Yes, ma’am. Would you like me to take your luggage?”, she proceeds to answer her own question and pushes the hotel bell cart through the water, “Yes, ma’am. Right away ma’am…”

“You’re a weird kid.” Joel states, Ellie turns her head to look at him, “You’re a weird kid.” Something falls over, a sloshing sound indicating that it had fallen in front of Ellie causing her to jump back and bang the piano behind her and yelp, “Oh, fuck!”

You and Joel are quick to come to her side to see what it was. A skeleton lay there unmoving and rotten, your eyes raise to look at Ellie panting and clutching onto the hotel bell cart, “Oh, my god.” Joel kicks the skull and the kid mumbles, “Uh, sorry.”

Joel offers his hand to help Ellie back up and the sound of the honky-tonk piano creates sharp notes as she stands, Joel pulls back his hand once Ellie can manage on her own and begins to walk away.

You look to Joel, “How’s the hand?” He looks down at it as it shakes again, “It’ll heal.” Your face forms a frown and you shake your head, “That doesn’t answer my question.” Joel doesn’t respond and decides to continue and you simply follow.

“You okay?” Tess asks Ellie, and the young girl wades through the water like nothing happened, “Yep. Fucking Fabulous.”

After ten flights of stairs you finally made it to the top floor, Joel goes through the doorway first, while Tess takes a moment to catch her breath, “Fuck. Holy shit.”

You’re a little breathless, but not as much as Tess since you were a bit younger than her. “Come on, it wasn’t that bad.” Ellie says teasingly and Tess shoots her a look, “You try climbing ten fuckin’ floors with our knees. See how you feel.”

You turn right to a hallway, to see a giant obstruction made out of the rubble, “Well, when the fuck did that happen?” Tess tries to push the door to her right, only to be blocked. You try to check the door to the left to find the same outcome, you sigh “No.”

“All right, well, I mean, maybe I could climb up there. Work my way around and open it from the inside?” Ellie peers around the rocks, “Uh, no. Well, I’m the smallest, so it’d be easier for me to get through.” Tess hums, “But you die and we get nothing. You stay.”

“I could help.” You say a little meek, Tess is a little intimidating and you feel so out of place like you’re intruding. Technically, you aren’t supposed to be in this mess. She takes a good look at you and says, “Yeah, no.”

You deflate a little and avoid trying to argue, Tess turns to Joel and asks for help, “Can you give me a hand?” Joel pulls back Ellie with the strap of her backpack and she sighs, then Joel tugs your jacket sleeve to do the same. Your face warms a little bit, it’s the first time he’s ever touched you.

Joel boosts up Tess over the pile of rubble and she climbs over, “You good up there?” Tess analyzes the mess she needs to clean up and replies, “Yeah. It’s a bit of a mess, so I’m gonna need a few minutes.”

Joel turns around to face you and Ellie, he adjusts his gun and lets his back slide against the wall to sit down across from both of you. Ellie has her arms resting on her knees while you decide to sit comfortably cross-legged.

Ellie takes out her knife and decides to play with it, tossing it in her hands as if it were just a pen and not something that could easily cut her if she commits a mistake. You watch everything play out just like it did in the episode—character development.

“Nice knife,” Joel says as his eyes follow the movement of Ellie’s tossing. She only glances at him with acknowledgment. “Where’d you learn to do that?” he asks, you gotta hand it to him for trying to make an effort.

She replies with a monotone voice, “The circus.”

Joel looks away exasperated and completely done with her bullshit. You try and hide your smile, but the slight crease in your eyes gives away your amusement. Ellie folds her knife, and as Joel sighs, the kid decides to give an olive branch, “Where are you from?”

“Texas.” He replies, and Ellie continues, “What about Tess?”

“Detroit. It’s in Michigan.”

If there’s anything she hated most, was the fact people underestimate her intelligence, she rolls her eyes and Ellie’s reply comes out harsh, “I go to school. I know where Detroit is.”

Her response causes a wave of silence between the three of you. Your eyes drift from Joel to Ellie, she then decides it’s your turn to be interrogated, “Are you from the future?”

Your mouth twists a little to the right before deciding on a good enough answer, “Sort of? Your technology stopped advancing in 2003, so, I guess I am?” This piques her interest, “So, what’s it like over there?”

You pick the dirt off the underside of your fingernails, a little nervous, or if not nervous then cautious, as you respond, “Almost the same. Our technology is way different though.”

“Different how?” She asks.

You give her a soft smile and respond, “Well, for starters, we have touch screens for phones, laptops, tablets, you name it, it probably has a touch screen.”

“No way,” Ellie says with her eyes full of amazement and wonder, “What else?”

You give a hum as you teasingly tell her, “I don’t know… it might blow your tiny little mind.” She blows a raspberry in your face and you stick your tongue out in retaliation.

“Come on! Wait, you said we were just characters in some kind of story?” She says dramatically and tugs the sleeve of your jacket and continues, “What did you mean by that?”

Your eyes shift to look at Joel, who has his full attention on you; simply waiting. You blink owlishly at him, once, then twice before settling on a response, “Yeah, um, it recently aired.”

“So, do you know the future? Like our future? What’s about to happen? Will we be able to make a cure or a vaccine?” You couldn’t keep up with her rapid questions, and your mouth slightly parts open. Should you tell them?

Can you change the fact Tess is practically minutes away from death? That Joel is about to make the worst mistake of his life? That Bill and Frank are… that they…

Luckily, you didn’t need to answer Ellie, Joel who senses your unease, steps in for you, “Ellie, stop askin’ her about her life, she doesn’t wanna give anythin’ up.” You look at him apologetically and shut your eyes for a while. This migraine keeps bothering you, a sharp, heavy, thump in the side of your brain hasn’t gone away. You tell yourself that it eventually will. Maybe.

Ellie focuses her attention back to Joel, “So you two like a…”

“Pass.” He says.

Ellie continues, “How’d you end up in Boston?”

“Pass. No more questions about me.” Ellie rolls her eyes at him and racks her brain for a different question, “How long do infected live?” Joel mocks Ellie in reply, “Oh, I thought you went to school.”

“It’s a really shitty one.” She snarkily replies. You smile at their banter with your eyes closed, enjoying the conversation that they have going on. Joel thinks for a moment before answering her, “Well, some last about a month or two. But there’s other’s been walkin’ about 20 years.”

Ellie fidgets with her knife again, “You ever kill one?”

You hear the slight sorrow in his voice, “Yeah, I’ve killed lots of them.” Ellie asks the most human question as she looks at the older man, “Was it hard? Like, knowing they were people once?”

You open your eyes to watch his gaze look away from the kid, memories come back to him, what he’s done and will continue to do, and he nods, “Sometimes.”

“What about that guy last night?” She asks, and you frown while he gives Ellie a stern look. You knew Ellie liked the fact Joel hurt the FEDRA guard to protect her. She loved it. Luckily Joel doesn’t have to respond, you could hear the sound of something approaching you. The loyalist immediately stands up, and you and Ellie get up to stand next to Joel, he puts his finger to the trigger of his gun, ready to protect you both from whatever is out there.

“You can put the gun down, Joel,” Tess calls out from a distance, and a tingle of jealousy moves through your bones like electricity. She knew him so well, to the point where she knew what he was going to do before doing it. They both loved each other without admitting it, and it hurts you. They never stood a chance.

You hear the quiet rumble of Tess pushing away the debris to open the door, the loud creak of metal reveals her face, and it’s full of worry. Joel reads her like a book, “What now?” Then Tess nods her head, signaling to follow her.

As you make your way upstairs, you take notice of the abandoned wine glass and dishes, the dust that coats every inch of the hotel, and the fallen chairs. Tess pulls back a plastic curtain for you and Ellie to walk through, only to be greeted by the view of hundreds of infected down below.

“There’s so many,” Ellie comments in disbelief, you can hear the cries and wailing of each Runner as they roll and crawl. The young girl leans a little forward to get a better view. Tess nods, “The last time we were here they were still deep inside the buildings. Then I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ they went inside seeking shelter, and that’s how they get more and more of the city bit by city year after year.”

As the clouds pass by, the sun shines through a little, overwhelming light shines over the infected, they screech and roll away, like a domino effect. “They’re connected,” Ellie says, and Tess nods in confirmation, “More than you know. The fungus also grows underground. Long fibers like wires, some of them stretching over a mile.”

If you weren’t so focused on listening to Tess explain the cordyceps, you would have felt Joel staring at you the whole time, observing how you were taking all of the information being shared. You were surprisingly calm, despite the fact zombies are now real and you could die. And possibly a little worried like you were anticipating something bad was going to happen.

Tess continues, “Now you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place and you can wake a dozen infected from somewhere else. Now they know where you are, now they come. You’re not immune from being ripped apart. You understand? It’s important. I’m trying to keep you alive.”

Ellie nods and you do too, even if the question wasn’t directed at you. “So we’re not going that way.” She states, and Tess agrees, “No.”

“What do we do then? Short way?” Ellie asks and Joel looks at Tess, and speaks the dreaded words you’ve heard before, “Museum.”

A/N: Trust me, I’m working double time on the next one if this is received well :,) Thank you for reading! See ya in the next chapter <3

Next Chapter ->

#joel miller x y/n #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x poc!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal #tlou #tlou remake #tlou rewrite #tlou series #joel miller x reader series #joel miller x reader tlou #tlouhbo #the last of us rewrite #joel miller x modern reader #joel miller x reader au

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auras-moonstone · 8 months

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hi! i love the way you write and was hoping if you had time for this rec :) ethan x reader

it's inspired by 'the summer i turned pretty'

y/n is the bailey's childhood friend, she was very close to ethan and quinn growing up, but when she comes back to newyork, richie is suddenly very interested in her and the shitty brother that he is, he know that ethan had a thing for her.

"You think she's pretty?" richie asked ethan one day.

"Yeah, and you do too," ethan replied already annoyed, trying to brush it off.

"I hadn't noticed, really," richie said, smirking.

"Come on, man. I've noticed you noticing"

richie is the it-boy of the town, always gets what he wants, cocky and arrogant. y/n was the only thing ethan had for himself only.

sorry if its long 😭😭 its mostly angsty id say, y/n is surprised someone like richie likes her but her heart has always been yearning for ethan whom she thinks will never see her that way.

childhood best friends to lovers is one of my favorite tropes so i really had a lot of fun writing this! hope you like it💓🫶🏻

you’re my best friend — ethan landry

word count: 2,465

pairing: ethan landry x fem!reader

summary: when y/n goes back to new york city she finds out two things—she’s still crushing on ethan and richie took an interest in her.

WHEN Y/N AND HIS FAMILY HAD TO LEAVE NEW YORK FOR LONDON, THE BAILEY’S WERE LEFT HEARTBROKEN, ESPECIALLY QUINN AND ETHAN. Both of their families had been close since forever, so Quinn, Ethan, Y/N and Richie grew up together and the first three developed a really close friendship.

Y/N’s dad got a promotion, so they had to move to England, where Y/N finished high school and started college. Now, though, her dad had been offered to go back to New York if he wanted. And because he missed the city and his friends, he said yes.

The first thing Y/N did when she found out was text her best friends—Quinn and Ethan, with whom she had kept contact with despite the distance. She was excited to see them, and wondered what she would feel when she finally saw Ethan again. She’d like to think she got over her crush, but that’s because they hadn’t seen each other in four years.

And there she was, about to find out. Y/N was standing in front of the Bailey’s house with her parents behind her. The door opened and Y/N’s chest grew tight in anticipation, and then she held a sigh of disappointment when Wayne’s face appeared.

The older man greeted her parents with enthusiasm, and when it was her time to say hello, the man opened his mouth in shock “Oh my! You’ve grown a lot! It’s nice to see you again, Y/N”

“You too, Wayne” she hugged him awkwardly. Y/N wasn’t his biggest fan, she still remember all too well the way he treated Ethan. Always comparing him to Richie, making him feel like garbage.

“Quinn and Richie are in the kitchen” he informed her. She nodded and made her way to said place.

As soon as she set foot on the big kitchen, she was attacked by a hug. “Oh my god! You’re here!” she recognized the voice of Quinn.

“I’m here! I missed you” she broke the hug to take a look at her friend’s new hairstyle “Red is definitely your color, Q. You look so good.”

“And London certainly benefited you, holy shit. You look hot. Give me a chance?” the red-head joked.

“Absolutely” she laughed, hugging her once more. “I can’t believe I’m back”

“Hi, Y/N” Richie finally managed to find his voice. He had been completely entranced by the girl. Quinn was right, she got hot. He had never noticed her, because well, he had always seen her as his sibling’s friend and because she had been 15 when she left. Now, she was 19 and super attractive.

“Oh, sorry. Hi, Richie. Nice to see you again” she gave him a little wave. Y/N wasn’t sure she liked the way Richie was shamelessly checking her out. “Where is Eth?” she tried not to sound so excited.

“Oh, he’s in his room, as always. Drowning himself in text books and having no social life whatsoever” Richie rolled his eyes in annoyance.

“He doesn’t know you’re coming today, so go surprise him” Quinn said, eyeing the way Y/N’s knuckles turned white. She had always hated when people talked badly about Ethan, and apparently, it didn’t change.

Y/N walked up the stairs, anguish filling her stomach and her heart beating so fast it made her cheeks turn red. She stood in front of the door, trying to gain the courage to knock. There was just one door separating her from Ethan, the guy who had been her first crush ever. Her best friend in the entire world.

“Come in” she heard, and almost fainted. Not because she was seconds away from seeing his face after four years, but because she noticed the change in his voice. It was deeper, raspier and… hot.

Y/N took a deep breath and opened the door. There he was, lying on his bed, headphones flattening his perfect curly hair and book open on his lap.

His round brown eyes found hers, and he jumped off the bed so fast he got dizzy. Y/N laughed and ran into his arms, that were instantly wrapped around her lower back to pull her up and against his chest. Her legs locked around his waist.

“Please tell me you’re real and I’m not making you up” Ethan said, face between her neck and shoulder blades.

“I’m real” she laughed. “And I’m back to stay. Holy shit, you got so fucking tall”

��And you have not grown and inch” he joked, letting her feet touch the ground again.

“Mean” Y/N punched his arm playfully. “Where is your Justin Bieber haircut?!”

“That was a phase I don’t want to remember” he shook his head. “What, you don’t like my curls?”

“No… I love them. You have amazing hair” Y/N complimented.

Ethan blushed, and took his time to let his eyes take in her face. Her factions were more defined, her lips were fuller, eyes a little darker but still very bright, and smile as warm as ever. She had grown a bit, but she was still short compared to him, her head barely reached his shoulders. She looked even prettier than before, and Ethan couldn’t believe he would be able to see her everyday.

The tall boy had also changed a lot, and Y/N needed to figure out how to stop looking at him before she weirded him out. His jawline was sharp as a diamond, his cheekbones more defined, and surprisingly, he had muscles. Enthralling, captivating muscles. He was pretty, adorable and hot at the same time and Y/N’s doubts faded away—her crush on him was still very much intact.

“You look stunning, Y/N/N. I missed you” he said in a low voice. They were so close, his arms still around her, and the moment felt intimate and cozy. It was at that moment Y/N realized how much she had missed her home.

“I missed you too” she smiled, happiness was radiating off her. Y/N was so happy she could cry. “Can I hug you again?”

“You don’t have to ask. You know I love your hugs, and I missed them. So, you’ll have to hug me a lot to make up for the lost time” Ethan answered, chest almost exploding for the amount of adoration he felt for her.

None of them knew for how long they stayed in each others arms, if it had been just minutes or hours, but they did know that either way, it hadn’t been enough. They could’ve stayed like that forever.

SAYING THAT Y/N CAUGHT THE ATTENTION OF EVERY BLACKMORE STUDENTS WOULD BE GOING A LITTLE TOO FAR, but she certainly had the attention of the people she had classes with. Not only because of her looks, but also because she entered in the middle of the semester, which was extremely unusual. Y/N hated the twenty pairs of eyes on her, but she was thankful she at least had Ethan by her side.

The nerdy boy felt a little uneased by the reaction Y/N caused. She had always been someone only Ethan used to notice—thought he never understood why, because she was the most amazing girl in the world—, and the thought of that changing made him panic. Because there were so many guys who were better than him, and now that she had options, Ethan knew Y/N would never choose him.

“How is your first day going?” to her surprise, Richie asked.

“Um, good?” she said, unsure. It was weird, Richie and her had never been friends. He had never cared about her well-being, what was his deal now? She didn’t know.

But Ethan did, he could see it in his brother’s eyes. Richie was interested in Y/N and it made his blood boil. He knew Ethan had feelings for her, but of course he didn’t care.

“Great. If you need anything, feel free to tell me” he said, winking at her before leaving.

“That’s the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. Is he okay? Did he fell from the stairs and hit his head or something?” Y/N asked Ethan.

The brunet laughed “He kind of became the ‘it’ boy of college, which fed his ego and makes him brave enough to flirt with every hot girl that crosses his path. You’re his next target.”

Richie had always been popular amongst girls—he was attractive, had that attitude girls found hot, and was sometimes funny—and exactly the type who would never look at Y/N’s way, or so she thought.

She couldn’t imagine herself with him, not only because ‘it’ boys weren’t her kind of boys, but also because her heart yearned for Ethan. Even when she knew he would never look at her as more than a friend.

“Well, time to damage it boy’s ego” Y/N said.

Ethan looked at her surprised “You are not into him?”

“Ethan, what the actual fuck? No!“ she laughed in shock. Wasn’t it painfully obvious that she had a crush on him and not Richie? Guess not. Or maybe Ethan was way too oblivious.

“Okay” wasn’t she imagine it or did she actually hear relief in his voice?

ETHAN AND RICHIE SAT ON THE BEACH CHAIRS NEXT TO THEIR POOL, THEIR EYES ON THE VOLEY MATCH HAPPENING IN FRONT OF THEM. It was Quinn and Y/N vs. Tara and Mindy, and Ethan’s eyes were specifically focused on Y/N’s figure. Richie couldn’t pass the opportunity to tease him.

"You think she's pretty?" Richie asked him, sarcasm present in his voice.

"Yeah, and you do too," his brother replied, already annoyed, trying to brush it off.

"I hadn't noticed, really," Richie said, smirking. He enjoyed seeing his brother angry so much, and he knew Y/N was his weak point.

"Come on, man. I've noticed you noticing. And she did too” Ethan said, frowning.

“She does? Maybe I should ask her out, then.” Richie said, hoping this would make Ethan fume.

However, the nerdy boy gave him a smile. “Do it.” he tried to suppress a smirk at his brother’s confused reaction.

“Hey, enjoyed the game?” Y/N asked. They had been so sumerged in their conversation they hadn’t noticed the match ended.

Ethan flashed her his sweet pretty smile, which she mirrored “You’re good, Y/N/N.”

“Thanks, Eth” if her cheeks hadn’t been already red from the heat and the exercise, Ethan would’ve noticed the effect his words had on her.

“Do you want water, gorgeous?” Richie asked, with a sly grin. Ethan clenched his jaw and Y/N tried not to make a disgusted face.

“Yes, but I’ll go get it” Y/N said walking to the kitchen before Richie could beat her. Ethan followed her, feeling Richie’s eyes on the back of his head. “Does he not get the hint? I have given no signs that I like him”

“I should probably warn you, he’s going to ask you out” Ethan told her, leaning against the counter and she poured water in a glass.

“Oh god, you know what? It’s fine, I’m just going to tell him he’s not the one I’m interested in” Y/N said.

Ethan stiffened “What do you mean by that? You’re interested in someone?” his chest contracted.

Y/N then realized what she had said. “Oh… well, yeah.”

The boy nodded, trying not to show how much it hurt “Are they from London?”

Y/N shook her head “No, he is from here.” she admitted.

“Oh… you met him at college?” he asked. Why was he asking? He was a fucking masochist.

“No… but he goes to our college”

“So that means you met him before you moved to London” Ethan deduced.

Y/N nodded “Waay before I moved. I have known him my whole life” she said. He’s got to figure it out now.

“I have no fricking idea” Ethan laughed. “I don’t remember you hanging out with someone who wasn’t Quinn or me.”

“Ethan are you serious?” Y/N groaned. Guess he really was oblivious. Ethan looked at her, very lost. “I’m talking about you, you idiot. Honestly, for someone that smart you can really be dumb sometimes.”

“Me? You like me?” Ethan pointed at himself in disbelief.

“I have liked you since we were fourteen, Eth. Never stopped liking you” Y/N smiled nervously. What was going to happen next? Rejection or reciprocation?

“Are you sure?” he asked in a low tone.

Y/N let out a giggle “Yes, Ethan, pretty sure I know my emotions. Do you know yours?”

“I win” Ethan said, making her frown, not understanding what he meant. “I have liked you since we were thirteen. So I won.”

The girl rolled her eyes, smile painted on her face as she walked closer to him and hugged him. “Well, guess the loser is the one who has to ask the question” Ethan raised his eyebrows in amusement, liking were this conversation was going. “Ethan, would you like to be my boyfriend?”

“I would love to be your boyfriend, Y/N” he replied. Y/N could feel his heartbeats through his shirt as his arms were wrapped around her lower back. “Can I kiss you, girlfriend?”

“Yes, you can, boyfriend” she closed her arms around his neck and brought him down to meet her lips. Mint got mixed with cherry, and their soft lips danced with each other in one perfect and very awaited kiss.

The slow and calm kiss turned into a rougher and wilder one. His hands went under her white tank top as hers messed with his soft curls. Ethan turned them around, so that she was now pressed against the counter. But soon, he lifted her up and set her on it. She opened her legs so he could step between them and deepened the kiss.

“You’re my best friend” Y/N whispered breathlessly against his lips.

Ethan smiled “You’re my best friend, too. I love you”

“I love you” she said back, before kissing him once again.

Quinn, Richie, Tara and Mindy entered the kitchen and stood still at the scene happening in front of them. The two teenagers were so engrossed in their lustful kiss that they didn’t notice them until Quinn yelled “Not in the counter, we use it to cook!”

“Kids nowadays have zero respect” Mindy shook her head.

“This is a family house!” Tara exclaimed. Richie just stood there completely dumbfounded, which made Ethan feel even more victorious.

“Oh, we have been waiting this for years, leave us alone” Y/N rolled her eyes, but got off the counter anyways. Ethan draped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“They’re cute, you have to give them that” Tara said to Quinn.

“Are you two official?” Quinn asked, now unable to hide her smile.

“Yes” they said in unison, smiling to each other.

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