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#I’m actually literally in love with vi
tojipie · 5 months
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adah imagine prisoner!toji getting eaten up by his own thoughts one night in his cell. because how can this be satisfying for you? having quick sex once every two months? a girl like you deserves so much better. so he brings it up one time during the visits, and you see how hard it is for him, but still, through gritted teeth he reassures you he wouldn’t blame you for indulging in someone else every once in a while. JUST THE ANGST!! and reader of course being like … what the fuck are you talking ab i jerk off to your pictures?
prison bf toji series linked here <3
content: hurt/comfort, angst
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“and then turns out there actually was a fucking rat in his cell,” your boyfriend wheezes, his booming laughs marking the end of the story he’d been telling you for the past half hour.
the visiting hall is bustling today, packed to the brim with the wives, partners, and kids of the state’s incarcerated, all making the drive up right before new years.
you notice the sudden silence as your shared laughs die down, bemused at the inmate’s choice to not keep the conversation going.
“you okay?” you ask, reaching across the table to intertwine your fingers.
except toji doesn’t squeeze your hand like he always does, letting the appendage lay limp in yours.the older man opens his mouth to say something, looking around the busy room with a hint of anxiety behind his eyes.
“do you miss.. how we used to be?” he asks, voice sounding detached.
something sour stirs in the pit of your stomach at the way he’s acting. if the sudden change in ambiance didn’t give you whiplash, his vague question definitely did the job.
“i mean, of course i do,” you laugh nervously, rubbing a thumb softly over his knuckles. the inmate squeezes back this time, quelling the storm of anxiety bubbling in your chest.
“the sex i mean,” he explains, looking up from the floor to speak to you head on. “do you feel.. deprived? are your needs getting met?”
your thumb stills for just a moment as you think it over, though you doubt he even notices. the truth was yes, going from getting fucked every day to getting fucked every 6 or 7 weeks wasn’t exactly ideal. but what else were you two supposed to do? the man was serving a 7 year sentence for christ’s sake.
toji takes your momentary silence as an answer, sitting up straighter before speaking once more.
“i’m just saying if you ever found a man to fill in the gaps then i’d be open to it,” he explains. you notice a hint of unsureness behind his stone facade, catching onto the way his hand begins to fiddle with yours. what was he playing at?
“you’re saying you want me to cheat on you?” you ask, exasperated. where was this even coming from?
“god, fuck,” he sighs frustratedly, running both hands over his face slowly.
“i can’t give you what you need, can’t— not like how we used to,” his voice tapers off at the end like he’s scared to upset you. “shiu’s had a crush on you for years, i’d know he’d take good care of you.”
you step back from the table to gather yourself, pacing in front of the inmate like a woman gone mad. you’re grateful the constant circulation of inmates and visitors in the room is drawing attention away from you, otherwise an officer probably would have come over by now.
you couldn’t even believe what toji was offering to you. seeking out other men— his business partners—to “fill in the gaps”? when the love of your life was only a car drive away? fat fucking chance.
you stalk over to his side of the table, pointing an accusatory finger to his face.
“if you ever..” you pause, blinking away tears, “think that i’d give up on you just because we don’t have sex as often as we did then you’d be fucking crazy.”
you see him audibly flinch when your voice cracks, the weight of your emotions bringing him literal pain. toji’s eyes have gone wide, realizing the implications of his offer.
“i’m sorry baby, fuck, i’m sorry,” he whispers, pulling your face into the curve of his neck despite the harsh restrictions on touch set during visits. you silently thank the bustling crowd again for shielding the two of you, clutching at each other so deeply you think you might just meld into him.
“don’t want anybody but you,” you say with finality, pressing soft kisses to his pulse.
“i know sweetheart, i hear ya.”
you stay like that for the rest of your visit, breathing in each other’s warmth as calloused hands rubs circles into your back. neither of you say anything, not needing to when both do you knew you’d always find a way to make it work.
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taglist 🏷️ <3
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vampcubus · 1 year
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𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐏𝐄𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃! : 𝐀𝐎𝐓
a/n: this is literally 5k words of pegging nonsense, most of these “headcanons” also include additional lil blurbs because i’m a psychopath.
:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 : levi, erwin, reiner, bertholdt, floch, jean, porco, and armin.
:ఌ¨ ♱ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : nsfw, female-bodied reader, dom!reader, all boys are subs here, pegging, fauxjobs, dacryphilia, spanking, brat taming, spitting, a splash of mommy kink for armin and jean’s, strap referred to as cock because that's hot, men in lingerie, praise, degradation.
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𝐋𝐄𝐕𝐈 𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐍
—  He’s so grumpy about it leading up to it, grouching about how he’s gonna put you on stable cleaning duty if you do it badly. Shuts up real quick when you’re not only good at it, but it feels too good. Like it ruins him. He’s so out of control of his voice and his body, the way he arches into your thrusts, hands scrambling across your back and thighs, trying to pull you impossibly closer.
— At first, he thinks everything feels like it's too much and that he’s gonna break, but once he’s used to taking dick enough to not go slack-jawed every time you put it in? Expect to step up your game, cus this man knows exactly what he wants from you. Catch him on a day he needs to get out of his head and if you aren’t fucking him so hard it’s pushing him up the bed? He’ll start fucking himself on you since you’re “obviously not going to give me what I need.”
— Doesn’t really care what position he gets dicked down in, but he’s one of the few that isn’t afraid to ride you. He looks so good doing it too, it’s when he really lets loose and lets himself give into mindless abandon where all he can think about is how fucking good the toy feels inside him and how badly he wants to cum.
— You never know if he’s gonna be the biggest brat that fights you every step of the way just to get put in his place, or your obedient little pillow princess that wants to be nothing more than a hole for you to fill.
— While some days he might benefit from a hard dom to rein him in, it’s the soft doms that absolutely destroy him. Pile on the praise and affirming words as you gently rock into him, pressing the sweetest kisses to his face, tell him how much you love how pliant and vulnerable he is for you. You’ll have him shaking and trying not to cry as you make love to him like he’s something precious to be treasured (cus he is) because he’s so fucking soft and full of affection for you that it hurts.
— He’s a demanding bottom that’s for sure, so much so you might actually have to grip him by the hair and pin him down just to get him to shut up and listen to you.
“I think you’re forgetting who’s in control here, Levi. Maybe I’ve been spoiling you too much if you think you can just take anything you want from me.” You growl into his ear, tugging his face up from the mattress when his response is muffled. “What was that?”
“And so what if I do, what’ll you do if I don’t listen, huh?” Levi pants, cock hard and leaking into the sheets. He grinds his hips back onto your fake cock despite clearly being told not to move, and he yelps when your hand comes crashing down on his ass so hard he sees blanks for a moment. 
And then you do it again, and again, until his ass is so red with your handprints it’s almost the same shade as his flushed face. He’s in tears, throat raw from the shouting. He sniffles as your hand grazes over the abused flesh of his ass, spreading him open in a way that makes him bury his face into the crook of his arm.
“I haven’t heard an apology yet, ‘vi. I’d suggest you make it good too or I’ll give you twenty more and then leave you like this.” you cooed, your tone dripping with a sweetened venom that makes him clench around the toy regardless of the obvious despair he’d feel if you actually followed through with your threat. 
It’s not the spankings that frighten him, but the idea of you pulling out and leaving him to hump shamefully into his fist afterwards. His hand hadn’t quite felt the same since yours touched him, and that was all too painfully clear in the way he’d paw at you whenever he needed release.
“Fuck — Please don’t! ‘m sorry! ’m sorry, I’ll be good now, I promise. ‘m just a slut for your cock, I was greedy. Please, don’t stop!” he begs wetly, and you croon at the sight of tears streaming from those pretty gunmetal eyes.
“Oh? Gonna be good now? I don’t believe you.” You scoffed, hand clapping down on his raw ass to enunciate your words. He cries out pathetically at the sting but doesn’t start to panic until you start to pull out of him.
“No, please! I’m sorry, ‘m sorry for being a brat. You want me to beg — fucking fine, I’ll beg you — please! please fuck me, I’ll do anything just, please! You can spank me all you want, I deserve it, just finish fucking me. I'm going crazy—” he slurs, cut off abruptly by the way you suddenly thrust back into him.
“Oh, good boy~ I guess your mouth really is good for something other than whining.” You praise, releasing his arms in favor of holding his hips still so you can carry on pounding into him. 
His grey-blue eyes go blank, and the rest of the night is a blur.
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𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐇
— Pls this man doesn’t know what tf pegging is 💀 You'll have to sit down and explain it all to him and he’ll sit there calmly, just nodding and asking the occasional question. He’s surprisingly chill about it??? He’s very much the “okay, dear” husband, it’s like nothing surprises him.
 — He’s significantly less composed when you actually get down to it, he gets this cute lil blush on his face when you start playing with his hole, fingering him open to take your cock and hhhhh the noises he makes. He’s tense and it takes a while for him to relax enough to stretch around two fingers but when you find his prostate his whole body jerks as if electrocuted.
“Oh, that — what’s that.” he shudders, propping himself up on his elbow to watch in amazement.
“That would be your prostate, it’ll come in handy later,” you giggled, steadily pumping your fingers in and out of him, curling them to brush over that spongy spot again just to hear him gasp and squirm into the sheets. Especially when his legs keep instinctively inching closer and he has to spread them for you again. And by the time you’ve got three fingers gliding against his walls with ease, he’s right on the edge, blonde bangs slicked to his forehead and his arm over his face as you keep him there, deliberately avoiding his prostate.
The cute expressions he makes and his politeness as a sub might make you want to be gentle with him, but please don’t. He lives for being put in his place, everywhere else he’s the boss of everyone, and that can be exhausting sometimes. Having a partner that isn’t afraid to remind him who’s the real boss is very refreshing.
Like you’re going so slow, watching his face for signs of discomfort, asking him if he’s okay when you press deeper into him and he rasps out “You can be rough with me, darling. I’m not fragile.” His thick fingers clutch at your hip, his hips bucking hard into the gentle rolls of your hips, gasping out when the tip of the toy drags against his walls the way he wants it. “If you want.” He adds later, looking a bit shy — which believe me is a FEAT.
“Well, if you say so,” you laugh breathlessly, propping one of his legs over your shoulder and bracing one hand on his hip so you can snap your hips into his in a way that knocks the air from his lungs. He groans long and deep in his chest and you only smirk, delighted by the way his voice gets higher when your fingers encircle his neglected cock.
— You’d think Erwin would be the type to be condescending about his cute small partner pegging him, but the moment you find his prostate his brain shuts off and he’s your dumb obedient slut <3
— That doesn’t mean he isn’t a brat sometimes because he totally is, he likes to test your patience just to see how you’ll admonish him for it. You can see it in his eyes when he challenges you, that “yeah I just did that, what’re you gonna do about it?” look. It’s just so hard to focus when you’re fucking him so good, arm pinned to his back as you pound into him from behind after he gave you too much lip.
— No preference on positions, but you can tell he much prefers to see you.
— Also does prefer you to fuck him with your fingers if that means anything. You asked him about it playfully one night and he told you it felt more personal to have your flesh against his. Which honestly makes you want a real dick even more... maybe just for a day or two to explore n have a fun time. (pls i’d be so irresponsible with it tho) Like he’s getting bent over the desk he spends so much time at ASAP.
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𝐑𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐔𝐍
— Omg literally baby boy. 
— He’s down, no convincing is required. He’s always been a little curious about what it would feel like to have something inside him, and sometimes when you’re rubbing circles into his perineum (the cum button lmao) while you have his cock down your throat, he wonders what it would feel like if you moved your fingers lower. This whole idea probably snowballed from him shyly asking you if you’d finger him one night, and boy was it a treat to watch him fall apart like that — without you even having to touch his cock.
— Fuck him in front of a mirror pls just do it, he’ll be so needy and undone, staring at his own face as you pound into him from behind. It’s so embarrassing having to look at his own debauched reflection but then you start telling him how pretty he is, babbling about what a good fucking boy he was being, and his golden eyes roll back into his head, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.
— And when he doesn't have the strength to hold his head up anymore, grab his jaw and hold his face forward for him. Bonus points if you slip your fingers into his mouth to hold his mouth open when he tries to conceal his pretty noises.
— Obeys your every order without question, no matter how demeaning. Need him to spread himself open for you? Done. Need him to fuck himself on your strap n  do all the work to chase his orgasm? Anything for you. (He’s so cute when he rides you, bulging thighs trembling as he bounces himself on your lap, lips parted so his tongue can lick over them.) Want him to beg on his hands and knees and grovel for you to fuck him? He’s already at your feet with his forehead and hands flat on the floor.
— Likes to get fucked sideways the best! Just the feeling of your whole body pressed against his back, your lips on his nape, one hand holding his leg up and the other delicately wrapped around his throat <333 he’s in heaven.
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𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐃𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑
— Baby boy #2
— Literally cannot handle being pegged, like he’s the one that moans “it’s too much!” “I can’t take it, it’s too big!” but locks his legs around your hips if you even try to pull out.
— Bertholdt never imagined having something inside him would feel so good, he always has this disbelieving expression on his face when you press inside him, narrow hips lifting off the bed to meet you halfway in his eagerness. Can’t help but stare at you as you fuck into him, green eyes half-lidded and adoring as he takes in your focused expression. He thinks you’re so so cute, even when you’re blowing his back out.
— He’s so much bigger than you it must look comical, but you don’t have to prove anything to him, he knows you’re the boss.
— Speaking of which he’s so obedient and eager to please, and will let you fold him in any position you like. As shy as he is, he greatly prefers positions he can see your face in. Eye contact is very important to him, everything about Bertholdt just feels so intimate and raw. Though he has a hard time keeping his eyes open when he gets close to cumming, unless you tell him to keep them open. Not like he’ll be seeing much through the pleasured tears — he’s a crier <3
—  He begs for your cock without you having to tell him, and he does it so well you couldn’t possibly deny him. Not when he cries and squirms so pathetically, nimble fingers tugging you closer by the straps of your harness. (pls that's so hot to me) and if you decide to be mean to him and make him wait, tell him “hmmm, I don’t think you really want it.” He’ll sob, his desperation spearing through his usual demure nature as he presents himself for you, pleading and babbling about how badly he wants you to take care of him.
— He gets so flustered and teary when you start praising him, telling him what a good boy he was being, how pretty he looked beneath you, what pretty noises he was making.
— He’s also so loud??? Like every partner’s dream tbh. Ordinarily, he tries to swallow his noises out of self-consciousness, but he just can’t when you’re bullying that sweet spot inside him. Unleashes the sweetest moans in between delirious sobs of your name and mantras of “please.”
Bertholdt’s a dream all spread out on your bright white sheets, tanned skin wrapped up in dark green lace lingerie you got just for him. You were right about it bringing out his eyes, half-lidded and glimmering as your hands smooth reverently over his body. Your nails scratch lightly over the fine dark hairs of his happy trail, deliberately avoiding his straining erection barely covered by the green lace panties. He’s so long his cute pink head peeks out the top, leaking with pre and twitching as your fingers trail close but never close enough. 
He whines long and high, trying not to grind against your fake cock resting distractingly in the space between his thigh and hip. You’ve already stretched and plugged him, the pretty green gem adorning the base of the plug peeking out from under the panties you’ve been so hesitant to rip off. He likes the lingerie, and he feels pretty in it. You spent a good chunk of the night telling him just how gorgeous he was while taking pictures, and then later overwhelming him with praise as you stretched him on your fingers. 
But all he wants now is for you to tear it off and have your way with him, the thought makes his inner walls clench and his hips buck involuntarily.
“Feeling impatient, Bertie?” you hum, and he nods frantically, legs spreading on instinct at the familiar sound of the lube being uncapped.
“Yes — want it so bad. Y/n please.” 
His whole body shudders as you slip out the plug and replace it with your lubed fingers, but it’s not enough. 
He’s ready, he’s been ready. He needs you and you’re teasing him.
Finally, you start pulling the layers of lace off his body, garter belt and stockings first. The intricate jade-colored bra goes next, and you can’t help but trace his hardened peaks teasingly as you feel the fabric away, amused when he squirms and catches your wrists to redirect them to his tented panties. Resigned, you free him from his lace prison, and Bertholdt gasps as his cock slaps against his belly. 
“You’re so pretty, Bert.” 
“I’d be prettier with you fucking me.” he pouts, and you concede with a giggle, lining the toy up with his hole and pressing in oh so slowly.
Bertholdt’s mouth falls open, brows knit together as you finally slide home. He moans out loudly in relief, nearly in tears after hours of your incessant teasing, you’re finally where he needs you. 
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𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐂𝐇 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑
— Takes your strap the best out of all of them tbh. He’s content to lie there and let you fold him in half as you rearrange his guts. Will even hold his legs up for you <3 goes absolutely crazy for your strap, he’s so shameless. Will beg for you to be rough with him and make him cry. The best boy to take your frustration out on, he gets off on being used as a pathetic little fucktoy.
— HUGE BRAT, will taunt you and rile you up as much as possible. He likes to be punished and tossed around, pretends to try and wriggle away just to feel you drag him back by the hips and pin him down to the bed. Most of the time he’s gonna make you work for his submission, which only makes his inevitable defeat that much sweeter. You can tell you’ve played right into his hand when you see him looking up at you with half-lidded brown eyes and that pleased smirk.
— Edge him till he’s a sobbing begging mess, overstimulate him till he can’t feel his legs anymore, spank him until his ass is so red with welts he can’t sit right for weeks. He whimpers so pathetically when you ghost your hands over his ass through his clothes days later, knowing he’s still sore but the pain is making him hard again. 
— Floch does have his obedient moods where all he wants is to be is a slave to your whims, step on his dick and make him cum all over your boot, and then order him to lick it off. Floch isn’t entirely good at holding in orgasms or cumming on command (this is a man that can cum untouched if you talk dirty enough to him) When he’s like this he’ll do anything, even give you faux jobs like it's your actual dick. Doesn’t even complain when you force his head further down until tears prick his eyes, just looks up at you with that hazy look that indicates there isn’t a thought behind those eyes.
— Doesn’t care what position you press him into, but he feels more vulnerable in positions you can see his face in. It’s hard to resist because he’s got such a pretty face, especially when it’s wet with tears and his ginger hair is stuck to his forehead. He’s so gorgeous it’s unfair really, especially since he was so insufferable outside the bedroom. It’s always the hot ones…
— Laps up any praise you offer, even if it’s backhanded or mixed with insults. All attention is good attention to him, and that’s all he cares about.
— He loves to be degraded but if you were to go soft on him all of a sudden you’d actually kill him. Overwhelm him with praise, tell him what a good boy he’s being for you, how beautiful he looks when he’s being obedient, tell him he’s your favorite hole to use and he’ll break into a million pieces. Starts to ugly cry, clinging on for dear life as he begins chanting “I love you I love you I love you–” the whole nine yards.
— Don’t even imply you’re fucking other people as a joke, he’s intensely possessive. What, was he not good enough for you? Not reverent enough? Couldn’t you see he’s all you’ll ever need?? >:( Say you’re sorry n fuck his brains out to make up for it.
“Relax, I was just kidding. You’re enough of a handful all on your own, baby. Why would I want anyone else when you take my cock so well?” You reassure, delighted by the way his golden brown eyes roll back at the praise. 
He still looks bothered, so you sigh and slow your hips, the action drawing his gaze back to yours. He gasps and clenches around the toy when your lips meet his — a rare treat you don’t often allow. He moans shamelessly into the kiss, sweat-slicked fingers burying themselves in your hair to keep you anchored there. His lips are starved against yours, lips parted in invitation. You suck on his tongue, holding his mouth open with your fingers so you can spit into it — which is almost enough to make him cum.
“You’re the only one I want, Floch,” you murmur affectionately, admiring the way he swallows your spit so greedily.
He actually does cum after you say that, rather violently too — squirming and jerking like a man possessed.
“Please say it again.” he pleads.
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𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍 𝐊𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐈𝐍
— It’ll take some convincing before Jean agrees to let you peg him. He kind of thinks you’re joking the first time you bring it up and laughs it off, but when he realizes you’re serious he’s like “Oh fuck you actually…?”
— Jean insists that if he’s gonna be taking it up the ass, he wants to be in control of the situation, so you agree to have him ride you so he can control the pace. And by god, the way his face contorts from discomfort to pleasure is so beautiful. His mouth just falls open and his brows knit together cutely. He takes you well, clasping his over yours on top of his hips as he bounces — until quite adorably the pleasure starts to overwhelm him and he just can’t bounce anymore.
 — Jeanbo gets so frustrated cus it feels so good but his legs have been turned to gelatin, none of his body parts are obeying and he needs it so badly. That’s when the pathetic whining starts.
“Aww, what’s wrong, baby? Are your legs tired? Need me to take over?”
“Mommy please… need help. C’mon.” He whines, the humiliation burning hotly in his cheeks, the angry red blush spreading even to his neck.
 He grinds in your lap weakly, trying in vain to pick himself back up as his legs continue to fail him. You feel your heart snap in two at the shiny tears pricking in the corners of his eyes, you sit up, trailing comforting kisses across his jaw before you maneuver him onto his back. He falls back with a huff, long limbs sprawled out before he starts grabbing at you. 
His impossibly long legs wrap around your hips loosely, so as not to restrict your freedom of movement. And when your hips snap against his with enough force to push him up the sheets a few inches, a girlish moan is forced out of him. It’s so uncharacteristic and depraved that you can’t help but do it again, prying his hand from his mouth as he slaps it over his lips to silence himself. And when you find that spot he’s in disbelief at the feeling, legs locking around your hips to keep you in place as he paints his hand and chest with his cum. He’s quiet through his whole orgasm, mouth wide open in a silent scream as the intensity of it robs him of his voice.
You grin your hips lazily against his through his high, purring sweet praises, stroking his hair as he pants into your neck. 
“How was that?”
“I… you were right, it felt… really good.”
— Jean prefers missionary, though he tends to hold you against his body so tight you can hardly thrust into him.
— His mommy kink absolutely comes out when you’re fucking his brains out, suckles on your tits and wants you to call him your baby. But don’t mention it outside the bedroom, he not only will deny it but will revoke pegging privileges 😔
— Can’t help but pump his pretty cock while you fuck him, has a hard time getting off without giving it attention so you usually let him. He likes it best when you slap his hands away and wrap your fingers around him instead. An arm is thrown over his eyes as he bucks into the tight tunnel of your fist in tandem with your thrusts, mesmerized by the way your breasts bounce while you’re fucking into him.
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𝐏𝐎𝐑𝐂𝐎 𝐆𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐃
— Porco will need convincing. It’s embarassing enough that he willingly submits to you, something he undoubtedly enjoys but still gets into his feelings about sometimes. You’ve fingered him before sure, and he likes that, it’s just… the prospect of you fucking him is something else entirely. It puts him in such a vulnerable position, and Porco’s a bit spooked you won’t think he’s still your big strong man after. Internalized insecurity about his masculinity. 
— Reassure him that getting fucked in the ass doesn’t make him any less of a man to you. As silly as that sounds, it will put at least some of his fears to rest.
— He’s so whiny about it, moans and groans about how you’ll have to do all the work and how he wasn’t gonna like it. Spoiler alert: he does like it very much. He’s a bitchy little pillow princess about the whole thing until you find his prostate and it’s like those anxieties melt away in an instant. 
“Oh fuck!” Porco practically mewls, an octave higher that makes your insides clench around nothing. “There baby, right there-“
“Where?” You coo, a knowing smirk pulling at your lips when you realize you’ve found his prostate. Is that really all it took to break him down? You angle your hips and thrust again, aiming for the same spot, knowing you’ve hit your mark when he keens again. 
“Ohhh. right. there. Huh~?” You purr to him, your words punctuated by particularly harsh thrusts that make his back arch.
The action snaps your gaze back to his backside, full and jiggling with each brutal but purposeful thrust. You can help but grab a handful of it, watching as the fat of his ass spills between the gaps of your fingers. You spread him open to watch your faux cock glide effortlessly in and out of his pretty pink hole, mesmerized by the way it stretches to accommodate the girth.
You’re deliberately pounding against that button inside him with every thrust and he can’t help but cry out each time. He’s drooling a puddle into the sheets now, cheeks a bright fiery red, sweat sticking the blonde hairs to his forehead, mouth agape, eyes rolled so far back into his head you worry they might stick like that.
“Fffuck me, god fuck me, yes! What th-the fuck are you dooooing to me?” Porco babbles nonsensically.
And you know he’s close to cumming when he starts to fuck himself back onto your strap and hump his poor neglected cock against the sheets. He’s leaking all over, desperate for any sort of friction. Wrap your hand around his dick and watch his whole body tremor and squirm. 
Has the loudest and longest orgasm of his life, a minute later and he’s still spurting ropes onto the sheets.
— Don’t be mean to him afterward, this is very important. Smooth your warm hands over the back of his thighs and back, and tell him what a good job he did for you, and how good he looked taking your strap. If done right he’ll melt into a blissed-out puddle beneath you. If done wrong he’ll never let you peg him again </3
— Definitely likes it rough. Dig your fingernails into the flesh of his hips til you leave bruises, bite and suck marks into his neck and shoulders until you run out of space, and pull him back by his hair so you can see the pathetic expressions he’s making. He fucking loves it. Doesn’t much like to be degraded so don’t be too mean. (at first. later on he warms up to being bullied a lil, just don’t go overboard yeah?)
— Thinks it feels the best from behind but gets so shy when you take him in missionary. Hides his face and avoids your eyes unless you lay on the sweet praise thick enough to convince him to look at you.
— After he’s grown used to taking dick somewhat regularly and is more comfortable with the whole idea, he absolutely becomes a slut for it. He was bratty before but now he’ll wrestle you onto your back and fuck himself on your strap if you “aren’t doing it good enough.” Smack his ass and he’ll just moan louder, thick cock bobbing with the forceful way he’s slamming himself up and down your fake dick. (Meow purrrrr bossy bottoms my beloved.)
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𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐄𝐑𝐓
— The biggest whore for pegging, I don't make the rules. He likes prostate orgasms the best and doesn’t even need you to touch his cock to cum.
— Sometimes you fuck him so incredibly stupid that he starts begging for you to breed him. Poor thing is so fucked-out that he forgets that it’s physically impossible. You haven’t the heart to tell him you can’t actually put a baby in him especially when it’s so fun to make him beg for you to fill him up. You’d do well to invest in a cum tube because he’ll go crazy the moment he feels your “cum” inside him. Expect him to beg you to “please cum inside” every time after that.
— Loves to give faux jobs! Obviously spit isn’t appropriate lube but he still likes the idea of slicking up your strap for you to fuck him, especially since he does such a good job drooling all over it for you <3 Absolutely wants you to fuck his face, he’ll moan around it and everything whilst looking up at you with those big blue eyes.
— Wants to be pegged more than you want to peg him tbh, he’s so enthusiastic every time you whip it out. Like his clothes are in mid-air and he’s assuming the position before you can even speak.
— Will wear plugs often, just so he can be ready anytime, and… they relieve his stress. I know he looks so innocent but I promise you he’s far from it, a closet pervert!! Always tryna coerce you into railing him while making you think that it was your idea, but he’s been planning to be dicked down the whole day. You pull down his pants and he’s already stretched himself out for you.
— A size king! You wouldn’t think such a small thing could take your longest n thickest straps but he’s a real champ!
— Definitely calls you mommy while you peg him, wants you to refer to yourself as mommy, call him your baby, and make him cum on “mommy’s cock.” Don’t mistake that desire for him wanting to be treated gently, because believe me he doesn’t. Pull his hair, push his face into the bed, and dig your nails into his skin til he bleeds. The masochist no one saw coming.
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asterias-record-shop · 11 months
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𓆩[in our next life]𓆪
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𓆩[join the taglist!]𓆪 𓆩[request/ask me something!]𓆪 𓆩[join the main taglist!]𓆪
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𓆩♡𓆪 CHARACTER - Finnick Odair x Fem! District 4 Victor! Reader
𓆩♡𓆪 TYPE - fluff, smut, slight angst
𓆩♡𓆪 WORD COUNT - 23K
𓆩♡𓆪 SUMMARY - Peeta and Katniss weren’t the first to fall in love after the games. That title went to you and Finnick, your mentor after you were Reaped at the age of fifteen two years after Finnick. After being dragged back into the Games with the Quarter Quell, you both are determined to stop it, no matter what- especially if one of you would gladly sacrifice themselves for the other.
𓆩♡𓆪 STORY WARNINGS - Use of Y/N || i promise I do not write like this in the fic- || reader was also forced into prostitution, but Finnick forced Snow to make them a pair || reader is definitely bi but has no (sexual) relations with women in the story || Finnick’s hand around your throat can be seen as sexual but it’s mainly just a comfort thing at this point || a lot of mixed timelines, sorry want it to play in my favor || mainly based on the movies bc I haven’t read the books in forever || Reader and Finnick are titled the Princess and Prince of the Capitol || you basically replace Annie || inspiration of your story from other characters || weird baby names inspired by the sea (cuz District 4, sea fishing etc) || This is so going to be a series- || smoking, smoking opium || This actually takes place in several different times, first the drawing for the Quarter Quell to the carriage rides where you meet Katniss and Peeta to the interviews to the literal Quarter Quell, being rescued, then skipping to after the rebellion is won (my darling doesn’t die, he didn’t deserve it &lt;3). || Cinna isn't dead and he’s your stylist, and you and Finnick get married twice (once before the Quarter Quell, another after the rebellion) and of course he designs your wedding dress. || Finnick pulls a stunt like Peeta, turns out to be true later on || first marriage is televised a few days before the games, second of course is private || marriage ceremonies inspired by cultures, yes I’m giving District 4 marriage ceremonies and no I’m not basing this off the wedding in the movie, and this is my own little spin on the fic - I didn’t want the wedding to be boring || the party Peeta and Katniss go to in the second movie is your wedding || ngl, with these plans, I’m hoping this is long- || slight rift between you and Katniss at first, but you end up being best friends quickly || you make Katniss question her sexuality bc you top her for a minute- || CPR & mouth to mouth || Classic warning such as cursing, fighting, blood, death, and more to be wary of. || mentions of Finnick’s forced prostitution (brief, my baby has suffered enough) || smut is included in this; mentions of voyeurism and exhibitionism (explained in the story), breeding kink, size kink, oral (♀ & ♂), fingering, spit, slight choking, slight dom-sub dynamics, sex is definitely a coping mechanism, degradation, name calling (slut, whore, cumslut, maybe more?), probably dirty talk if you think about it that way, praise, mentions of a hazy mindset that could be seen as a subspace, definitely a soft dom turned pleasure dom turned rough dom Finnick, and more- just be wary.
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—𓆩[CHAPTERS]𓆪—
𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER I 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER II 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER III 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER IV 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER V 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER VI 𓆩♡𓆪 CHAPTER VII 𓆩♡𓆪 EPILOGUE
ALL CHAPTERS ARE UP!!!
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—𓆩[DRABBLES]𓆪—
𓆩♡𓆪 N/A
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—𓆩[EXTRA FICS]𓆪—
𓆩♡𓆪 N/A
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© asterias-record-shop
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yaeshigan · 9 months
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YAN! Kokushibō 黒死牟 hcs. +
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CWS + Assault, Gorey themes, Murder, Decapitation, Wisteria Poisoning, Breaking of bones, Reader is held hostage, Kokushibou slaughters everyone basically, Cutting of limbs, Captivity, Unhealthy obsession, Unhealthy relationship, Strength difference, dead dove; do not eat!
NOTE + Hello~ I’m back again, sorry for the absence. Again, the warnings are as it says.
+ yaeshigan +
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I - There's a high chance that you either are Kokushibou's descendant, a far family member or a reincarnation of his past lover. If not, then you're probably demonslayer that he's stumbled upon and taken an interest to.
II - He'd probably met you while you were still a demonslayer.
III - You were still far way weaker than him, and he was an uppermoon, so the strength comparison was very clear.
IV - And even though you tried your best attempts at killing him, the only thing he did to stop you was parry your attacks and move to the other side to dodge.
V - He thought your attempts were wasted and took amusement in seeing you try hard and make no progress. And you still dared to stand up again and try over and over.
VI - That's probably why he fell for you.
VII - Now, since you're so weak in comparison to him, he treats you almost like a toddler that can't do anything for themselves because they're so oblivious.
VIII - He was very quiet and reserved at first when taking you. You probably fought back, but that ended with you almost breaking every single bone in your body. It's for your best, right?
IX - Doesn't bring you to uppermoon meetings, partially because the disgusting behaviours of his 'lower' comrades are far way too concerning and he doesn't want to endanger you. ahem ahem, Doma.
X - And he's also afraid that Muzan will force him to end your life.
XI - Kokushibou has mindfog that probably confuses Muzan a lot, so he can't find you, or literally anything about anything in his thoughts. They're just empty. So it doesn't worry Kokushibou when he goes to meetings without you.
XII - Kokushibou isn't stupid, he obviously kills your kasugai crow on sight, and if it actually succeeded in escaping, he would go to insane lengths just to get rid of evidence.
XIII - He ends up slaughtering your family, anybody the kasugai crow has alerted and probably a few hashiras.
XIV - I like to think Kokushibou still lives in the house that he lived in when he was still young, and when Yoriichi still lived.
XV - Kokushibou's envy over Yoriichi pushes him into the thought of that if you ever knew Yoriichi existed, it would cause him problems. He probably thought that if you knew he existed, it would mean there was a way to decapitate him.
XVI - Kokushibou doesn't like to express his affection through words or even say anything to initiate it. He just walks up to you one night and then ends up quietly hugging you in a way to show that he cares.
XVII - Don't get me wrong though, if you were to refuse him, it wouldn't look so good for you.
XVIII - Kokushibou may care about you and your mental health, but if you push him, he won't hesitate to cut a limb or two off.
XIX - Kokushibou is a very good example of the sins wrath and envy, he doesn’t like it when you or someone else mentions Yoriichi if you knew about him, or anything generally related to his former family.
XX - Kokushibou hates that he has to hide you away from the kizuki, demonslayers and many other dangerous things, he’d rather have you become a kizuki like him but then he knows that you’ll be at risk of being killed by a demonslayer and he wouldn’t be able to live with that, so he tries to keep you human for as physically as long as possible.
XXI - He’ll go as far to keeping you human until you’re old, or if you get incureably sick or can’t communicate anymore.
XXII - Then he’ll give you some of his blood, but he’ll only give you a little, to make sure it goes through and that you won’t die on him.
XXIII - Since Kokushibou tends to avoid speaking as much, his love language is more acts of service. Quiet actions like hugging you from behind or giving you headpats.
XXIV - Kokushibou doesn’t want you to continue your hobby of swordmansship at all, he fears that you’ll try to rebel and then get injured because he had to stop you from attacking him.
XXV - Kokushibou may be cool and rarely get angry or mad, but when he does, absolute hell breaks loose. So much that calling it angry would be an understatement. The only way to really push him though would be to continously try to escape, hide yourself from him or try your damnest at poisoning him with wisteria.
XXVI - Since Kokushibou can’t ever go into the sun, when daylight hours are present he’s always reserting to keeping himself company with you in his house while he waits for nighthours to approach.
XXVII - While Kokushibou may be uppermoon one and is very loyal to Muzan, he isn’t afraid of bending his rules one or two times to keep you safe or hidden from his view. So the chances of Muzan finding your existence is very low and keeps him from ending you.
XXVIII - Overall, Kokushibou is pretty possessive and obsessed over you and would do anything to live an eternal life with you.
I’m gonna be doing Gyūtarō next. Send reccommendations pls tho, it motivates me a lot💕💗
please check this post.
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unluckiestmember · 1 year
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Arcane Characters + Working at the Brothel
Summary: You finally got a job! But it’s at the brothel. Here’s how the Arcane cast reacts to it. 
Characters: Jinx, Vi, Caitlyn, Viktor, Ekko, Silco, Sevika, Mel, Jayce, Vander
Warning: None. Mostly SFW, some suggestive themes here and there though.
A/N: I personally would never work at the brothel. But if I did, you can catch me in the same room as the Brothel Girl ;)
Jinx
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“You got a job?! That’s great news, toots! Where?... The brothel? Awesome! I’ll try and go there every week- No every day- No, no no! Every hour!”
Will literally be a super supportive girlfriend. She’s just excited at the fact you actually got a job after you’ve been complaining about being unemployed for so long. She happily goes to the brothel almost every day you work just to be your client. The visits are sweet, but also weird because sometimes she’ll pay you even though you both live together. But her actions are appreciated.
Vi
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“Oh, you got the job? No way, that’s awesome! What’s the job though?... You’re working at the brothel? Huh. Okay.”
Honestly, Vi is okay with your line of work. Though she would lie if she said she wasn’t a little fearful for you. You are her lover after all! You mean the world to her and if she was to hear that someone touched you wrong or cussed you out for doing your job, she would probably kill someone. Luckily, her fear subsided when she spoke with Babette, who assured her nothing bad would happen to you. Sometimes Vi will surprise you at work when she’s done with her job early or has a day off. When she’s your client, you two will either talk for hours on end or use the many experimental rooms around you to your advantage. Wink wink-
Caitlyn Kiramman
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“Congratulations on getting the job, darling. What will you be doing for work?... Oh. Um. Well, um. Alright. N-No, don’t worry. I’m okay… Why the brothel?”
Caitlyn is honestly against it. She might play coy and act like she’s alright with you talking to and doing things with strangers in Zaun, but she’s actually upset when you first tell her. She gives you a somewhat cold shoulder attitude for a few days until you confront her about it. It takes her some time, but she slowly warms up to you working at the brothel. She’ll sometimes show up and say she’s a customer to talk to you about her day. Be ready to have her visit you during hours if she’s had a terrible day at work.
Viktor
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“Where will you be working now?... The brothel? Okay. Are you sure you want to work there though? I heard of the sort of things that happen there.”
Viktor is not against you working at the brothel. He just needs to make sure you’ll be safe. He knows Zaun can be shady with their business transactions, let alone that Zaunites can get handsy for little to no reason. If you assure him you’ll be okay, he’ll believe you. However, this doesn’t change that he will always be concerned about you when you’re at work. He’ll go to the brothel sometimes on his break just to check up on you. You can try and make him stay there for a visit, but he’ll politely decline. Besides, that’s not really his kind of setting.
Ekko
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“The brothel, huh? What do you do there?... Oh, talk? That’s cool. So like therapy?... Woah. Woah! You sure you wanna do that?!”
Ekko will be super skeptical of your new line of work. He’s usually not a jealous guy, but when he hears that people will be paid to do whatever they want to you, he loses it. It’s not until you tell him that you have the decision to decline offers and choose what boundaries you have does he calm down a bit. He knows you are your own person, so he’ll let you stay at the brothel. But he’ll never tell you he has some firelights scoping out the area for your safety… Oops.
Silco
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“You? Working at the brothel? I don’t think so, my love. I don’t think so…”
Silco is definitely against you working at the brothel. He knows about the kind of men and women that go there. Hell, he knows that Sevika goes there! You can try your damndest to go to work, but this man will use any excuse and obstacle he can find. Walking there? Oh no, an investigation was happening at the entrance. Got called in? Gonna have to decline because you had to go on a mission with Sevika. Because of his actions, you almost lose your job just as quickly as you got it. You know Silco’s secretly being a clingy boyfriend, but there’s so far you can go before your actions are borderline ridiculous.
Sevika
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“... Wait. What?”
Sevika will be so confused as to why you got a job at the brothel. She’ll also become more cautious of going there. She’s a regular customer, so if she were to go one day and hear that one of the clients has been talking about her rendezvous to you? She’ll just want to crawl into a hole and die. After a few days of her avoiding you, she tells you about her visits. You’re understandably upset, but you forgive her as long as she hasn’t and doesn’t cheat on you. From that day forward, Sevika is still a regular, but she’s also your number one client.
Mel Medarda
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“That’s good to hear, honey. Where will you be working?... Like hell you are.”
You can argue, you can talk it out, you can do sweet things for her, but Mel will never let you work at the brothel. She knows from her time in Noxus and through her mother how those kinds of places work. So the last thing she needed was to see or imagine you having one on one time with someone in an inappropriate manner for money. She doesn’t care if you can choose what happens to you, she will still stand against it. Before you know it, you’ve lost your job. But luckily Mel is quick to help you find another.
Jayce Talis
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“So you’re working at the brothel? What’s that? Like a church or something?”
The poor innocent fool that is known as Jayce. He has spent his entire life in Piltover, never setting foot outside of the topside to explore the undercity. So of course he doesn’t know what a brothel is! He will think you have a sweet job helping people worship an entity or guide them in life. One day though, he chose to give you a surprise visit. And when he saw what you were actually doing? Well, let’s just say Babette closed the brothel down for a while when a bunch of enforcers came crashing through her place with a vengeance. By the way, you were fired.
Vander
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“You finally got a job? That’s great to hear. So where is it, huh?... Oh, the brothel. You just gave me a reason to start going back there.”
Vander is supporting your work at the brothel. This big softy will literally pop up there occasionally to be your client for the entire day. He will take advantage of all the different rooms the brothel has and the services it provides with you by his side. Though you both have one rule; Never let the kids know, no matter what. Even if they question your line of work, keep your mouth shut. The last thing they need is their minds being blown when they hear what you do for a living.
Arcane requests are currently open! :D
Likes and retweets are always appreciated! I love you all, be safe and have a good day! &lt;3
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altades · 7 months
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Vashwood rant
I can't sleep so why not analyze vashwood in the middle of the night
Now, this analysis is mostly of the manga, with maybe small takes from 98 and tristamp
To start let's look at the boys from their respective beginnings
Vash is so cruelly mischaracterized as a child, and it might be a little bit of trismaps fault, even though i do love it, or maybe people are just putting characters into boxes without really thinking about it but Vash is so not soft-shy-nice little baby brother. The whole thing with him being younger is so insane to me, i get why if Nai was born like 10 minutes earlier he would make it his whole personality (very sibling thing to do) but it's just so stupid. No, they have 0 age difference and it doesn't affect their dynamic cuz the are literally twins for the love of god. And, really, when you look at the manga as kids Nai was the emotional one! And he still is!
Nai is plagued by fear and anger and resentment and those emotions are what drive his every decision. Vash, on the other hand, is much more in control of his feelings and doesn't show them as much. That is to say that pre-tesla nai is the one worried about their relationship with humans, about their future, he's the one crying after talking to Conrad (what a sweet child he was) while Vash seemes much less scared.
And when they find out about Tesla Nai is the one who faints - he’s the more reactive one, the emotional one. And that small difference is what sets their paths so differently. Because Vash actually gets a chance to talk to Rem and figure things out.And that talk is so very important because it makes Rem, who already was everything to Vash, even more important. 
Now, I want us all to think about how terrified Vash was after seeing Tesla cuz he probably thought his own mother was going to dissect him and his brother. But then she saves him when he tries to end his own life, proving that no she’s not gonna kill him, because she, as every human, has the capability to learn from her mistakes and make better choices. (too bad Nai didn’t get that lesson lol)
And then we get to the big bad things. (it’s genocide) But the important part from that whole ordeal is Rem’s sacrifice. Because, listen, I love stories where humanity is shown to be capable of change and forgiveness is a virtue and love and pussy and all that but oh man can it be so so unrealistic and a little bit insane to watch (su im looking at u (i love su but oh boy that is not how the world works unfortunately)) but Trimax manages to make it work so well. I believe that’s cuz Vash is a very kind and loving man but is also completely out of his mind and has horrendous mommy issues. At least half the reason he doesn’t kill people is because Rem has died to save them, and killing them would make it all be for nothing. If he kills these people or if he lets them die would that mean that Rem died for nothing? Did she sacrifice her life to save these people only for her own son to end their lives? AND you know I’m right cuz he literally says it in the manga but also BECAUSE HE DOES THE SAME FOR WOLFWOOD (also he did kill Nai when he had the chance but we don’t have time to unpack that)
All of that is A LOT and very complicated (i love Vash he’s so well written he’s my perfect little meow meow) now let's talk about Wolfwoooooooooood /twirls hair/
WW is much easier to understand and analyze cuz he is, just a guy,, WW is just a normal person who gets insanely unlucky and gets in THE WORST possible situations (If he ever played DND he would roll straight 1s). That is to say that his story is sort of a way to show how much life in the badlands sucks, but also that there are good things even in the worst places (the orphanage) And WW reacts to situations in the most rational way possible way - he kills to survive. he doesn’t want to but he doesn’t get a say in it. If he could chose he would just live with his family and friend and do whatever. And that, him being so normal in such a violent and bloody world is what makes him suffer all the time. His inner moral compass is screaming at him what a terrible person he is and he promptly ignores it.
That is until that moral compass manifests itself in the form of a tall, blond and handsome stranger that he’s supposed to lead to his death. The stranger who turns out to be the most compassionate and kind man WW’s has ever seen. Who he’s supposed to kill. It’s like finding an oasis in the desert and being forced to burn it to the ground. And WW doesn’t want to do that, and he refuses to believe that the oasis is not a mirage so he tries to get Vash to kill someone, even if it’s WW himself. (It doesn’t work.)
As we all know WW changes his mind because of Vash’s influence. And he dies for it. Because even though Vash’s beliefs are born of human virtues, no man is made to walk his path, for he is not human and any mortal who tries to follow an angel to the skies is doomed to crash. WHAT YOU DON’T EXPECT IS THAT THAT MAN WILL BRING THE ANGEL DOWN WITH HIM
There is this line I wrote for an art i’m planning to make and if you’ve read this far you deserve a lil spoiler - “have you found absolution in bringing an angel to his knees?” and it captures perfectly what i'm thinking. And also Vash spends so much time trying to be closer to people but I think him killing Legato might’ve been the most human thing he’s ever done. Cuz it’s is so beautiful in the way he does it for the memory of the person he loved and yet so ugly in it’s cruelty.
I’ve said this before but most of the time when there is a human/ some immortal powerful creature relationship I don’t think the human is that special but WW HE SO IS. Maybe it’s the way that he’s just as deep in the nuclear bombs with personality business as Vash is, being one of said nuclear bombs, but still remains a normal person with relatively good morals that he can anchor Vash to a sort of normality that he doesn’t get often. Like what other guy would get hunted by all sorts of freaks with you, get in trouble all the time, get shot and etc and etc and then go for a drink with you like it’s a normal wednesday? Wolfwood. Or maybe it's that WW learns of every worst part of Vash, he sees him be on the brink of losing himself, he knows Vash has actually caused the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people and ALMOST did it again after Julai, and still stays with him? He sees Vash become something that is not human at all and still stay? Idk MAYBE IT’S ALL OF THAT but WW is just so important and so down bad but we all know that already so i’m not gonna add to that
Anyways, I got this all out of my system gn
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jaded-jezz · 10 months
Text
Shutter Speed
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Jack Champion x Photographer!Reader
Part 1/?
☁︎ Fluff
Summary: y/n is a photographer for the new scream promo and Jack thinks she belongs in front of the camera rather than behind.
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"Y/N did you double check the SD card was empty?" My best friend and work partner, Leah, shouted from down the hall. "Yeah it was the first thing i did this morning,"
Leah and I have been working together ever since college where we met during our photography course. We have been inseparable since both landing a job at a highly praised magazine company.
Today is going to be a great day as we have been given the front cover photoshoot with full creative control too. It has been my childhood dream to have even a small picture but another front page? The feeling never gets old.
Leah and I finish packing all of our equipment into the car and we start the drive down to the studios in LA. As it’s kind of a long drive Leah starts our little road-trip with our favourite song. We scream the lyrics and laugh when the people, in the cars that pass us, give us strange looks.
To save our voices from any extreme damage, we put on some less energetic music and go over the plan for the day. “Wait, have you seen the cast for Scream 6?” Leah suddenly asks.
“Yeh like sorta… no not really” I answer scrambling for my phone. “Well we know Jenna from the Wednesday shoot so that’s less worrying right?” I say as I wait for the list to load.
“Oh yeah I forgot you did that! Do you think she will remember you?”
(Scream VI Groupchat POV)
Jenna- how close is everyone to the studio?
Devyn- I’m parked outside
Melissa- the shoot starts in half an hour
Devyn- I LIKE TO BE EARLY OK?!
Jasmine- YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO BRING ME THIS EARLY TOO THO
Liana- wait you guys drove together? You could’ve invited me 🥺
Jasmine- use that emoji again and I will become ghostface
Liana- 🥺sowy🥺
‘Jasmine’ has left the group chat.
Mason- Jenna this is your fault
Jack- What the hell did I just miss?
Jenna- HOW WAS IT MY FAULT?
Mason- YOU ASKED THE QUESTION
Jack- Jenna, Mason is the reason we are running late please don’t kill us.
Jenna- thanks for actually answering jack, mason I’m going to kill you
‘Devyn’ added ‘Jasmine’ to the group.
Devyn- see you guys soon!
(Y/N POV)
“ I doubt she will remember, I didn’t really speak” I answer, as I start to cringe over my previous shoots without Leah. Leah is literally my rock, and she knows this as she looks over to me. “You will be great, I’ll be there if things get too awkward, and you have all your notes on your phone and in your notebook.” I give her a smile as I reach for said notes to calm my nerves.
When we arrive at the studio I already see two of the actors and they wave as we walk past their car. I feel a lot less stressed as I see that everything is clean for us to set up our equipment. Leah and I finish in a record time thanks to my meticulously drawn plan of the placement for lights and tripods.
One of the producers walks in to check if we are ready. He lets us know that two actors are going to be late but it won’t ruin the shoot. As he leaves to alert the cast Leah stands next to me to make sure I don’t run away.
“OMG it is you!” I hear a voice come round the corner. “I thought I recognised your name, guys this is the talent who created all the Wednesday promo!” Jenna exclaims to the group before walking over to hug me.
“It is great to see you again Jenna! And it’s lovely to meet all of you too.” I say to the room. “I’m Y/N, this is Leah and the stylists are in the other room.” I start to explain the plan for the day.
“So any questions?” I ask after I realise I’ve been talking rambling for too long. “Oh last thing, sorry, if at any point you feel uncomfortable or awkward in a pose or something, just let me know and I will sort it as fast as I can.” I let the cast go to their stylists, who they knew from set, and walk towards my camera and laptop to make sure everything is loaded up and ready to go.
“She did remember you.” Leah said in a hushed giggle as my face starts to go red.
(Jack’s POV)
We are late. Mason is late. So I’m late. I hate being late to these things. Especially when it’s people I’ve never worked with before, although I think I remember Jenna saying she’s met one of the photographers before but that doesn’t calm me down one bit.
“Hey man, chill out” Mason interrupts my internal panic. “They won’t mind, you can charm them with your good looks yeh?” He suggests. I widen my eyes to show I don’t agree. “Fine, I’ll apologise in my own way and you do it how you want too.” He sighs, jokingly.
When we finally arrive we are pushed into the changing rooms so fast that I don’t get to apologize for our lack of punctuality. I quickly change into my costume before jumping into the makeup chair, next to Mason. Once the artist has finished I text my mum to tell her I made it and left it on the vanity. I headed out to the studio once Mason was done too.
"Look who decided to show up!"
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Part Two will be their meeting! Or should I say meet-cute?
Also (shameless plug) I really want to be a photographer so I would mean a lot if you followed/checked out my Instagram:
@/no.stress_jess
Please do not repost this, reblogs are appreciated.
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idkwhatimdoingbutslay · 7 months
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… I can’t imagine that we actually watched the same show. Like I REALLY AISNSOSNWKMEJDND
hold on I’m gonna need to calm down.
Let me just make a list of why I disagree and at least organize my anger. Long post incoming.
Vander was friends and had a deal with Grayson. The sheriff. Idk what else to even add to that
Caitlyn is more than a cop and Arcane isn’t copaganda. Genuinely don’t know what kind of progress some of these people are looking for. Real allies are a necessity for real progress.
SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR. HE FUNNELLED DRUGS INTO THE UNDERCITY AND PUT POOR KIDS IN FACTORIES FOR THAT DRUG FOR PROFIT!!! HE PAID THE ENFORCERS TO LET HIM DO IT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE
Vi is not as much as an activist as you would like to believe
WHY IS EKKO NEVER EVER BROUGHT UP IN THESE CONVERSATIONS????
Silco was not good for the Undercity
Silco was not a great guy. Ekko had to build an entire separate hidden community for the people he hurt and stepped on for his own benefit
Caitlyn is ignorant and naive. That’s ok. That’s what character development is for.
Loving imperfect characters like Silco and Jinx then hating characters like Vi and Caitlyn is peak media illiteracy to me
FOR THE LAST TIME: VI DIDNT ABANDON POWDER!!!!! Silco literally wanted Vi DEAD for trying to stop him from killing Vander??? How could you possibly say silco was there for jinx when Vi refused to be???? SHE WAS IN PRISON BECAUSE OF HIM???
Silco’s manipulation is working wonders on y’all
Embracing all the outrage without at all looking out for the people harmed by bigotry is not activism
SILCO IS A CLASS TRAITOR x929282929394
Caitlyn was the first person in years to show Vi kindness and care. She listened and stuck by her and took care of her after Vi was locked up for years and beat up by cops (i wonder what led her to be thrown in there?). Cait being a cop stopped being a point of contention once Vi recognized her naivety and genuineness.
NUANCE NUANCE NUANCE. ITS NEVER EVER BLACK AND WHITE
The only way I can see Vi touching ‘class traitor’ in season one was the shimmer raid. Guess who the hell put those kids in there in the first place.
Just hanging out with Caitlyn isn’t being a class traitor if Vander’s allowed to be friends with Grayson.
Critical thinking is very necessary for watching shows like Arcane
What the hell did Silco really do for the Undercity???? What changed over the 7(ish) years he was basically in power of the place? All I’ve heard was he made the air cleaner, which would be great except for, you know, shimmer and the child factory workers
Jinx is unwell and feeding into it like this in a fully serious manor would not help Arcane as a show at all
What do you want Arcane’s message as a full show to be? ‘Screw cops’? That’s a little boring and unproductive isn’t it?
CAN WE TALK ABOUT EKKO AND HIS IMPACT PLEASE???? x9382728283
Caitlyn is trying to make Piltover and Zaun a better place. Is that not allowed? Am I missing something?
Caitlyn and Vi’s arcs have only just started. Season one is basically fully set up except for characters like silco and Jinx. This is far from the end.
Genuinely think Vander would appreciate Vi for being friends (using this term loosely because they are in love) with Caitlyn considering he was the one who was opposed to war and Vi wasn’t.
Silco should NOT be your idea of Undercity independence and respect. He oppressed the Undercity the same way the Council and the Enforcers did. He helped no one but himself, his team (barely) and Jinx.
You’re allowed to like and dislike any character you want but pretending like Silco is better for the Undercity than others is just so ridiculous to me. Everyone is of course completely allowed to like Silco, but we can’t pretend like he’s this stand up guy. If you have to pretend like he was, maybe you don’t like him as much as you think.
“Because Cait’s pretty” is also incredibly incorrect. Go check point #14.
Vi never stopped loving and caring for Powder. Powder’s mental health issues were amplified and utilized by Silco because he couldn’t even heal himself.
If all of your opinions of Caitlyn and Vi start and end with “cops suck” and “class traitor” then you genuinely don’t respect Arcane as a show enough to show you nuance.
The misinterpretation of characters is just so … it’s like you go out of your way to love and/or hate characters no matter how much they show you who you are.
Your closed mindedness is clouding your judgement and making you out to seem like you don’t actually want the Undercity’s triumph, you want Silco and Jinx’s, even if it means ruining the Undercity. And that would be fine because father/daughter evil duo but trying to say you’re all for this duo because you want what’s better for the Undercity when they continue to hurt it is simply not correct and very harmful (to fictional characters in a fictional universe 😭)
Only being able to understand how Silco and Jinx were oppressed and therefore should be able to not just destroy Piltover but also Zaun is not the eat you think it is
Why is Viktor never called a class traitor? I think he's great (I also think Silco and Jinx are wonderfully written) but we hardly saw him in the Undercity/ interact with people from the Undercity plus he killed someone (Sky) from there (accidentally)
EDIT TO ADD ANOTHER POINT: Caitlyn has shown little to NO malicious intent and has no real negative impacts other than Jinx’s attachment issues and insecurities being amplified by her mere existence. Again, this is her story and development. Throughout the season she is exposed to reality and recognizes her and her peers/ families wrongs. I have no idea what you want from this character. Should Piltover just be gotten rid of in the story? Then what? Should Caitlyn have just never gotten involved and continued to embrace her privilege? Should she have left Vi in prison and stay ignorant?
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waitmyturtles · 10 months
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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: He’s Coming To Me Edition
[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, I’ll cover He’s Coming To Me, how this show centers Thai-Chinese/Asian culture, shipper culture, and the brilliance of Ohm Pawat and Singto Prachaya. THIS IS A LONG POST.]
I’m gonna have to hold myself down for this one. He’s Coming To Me. This kind of show. HCTM is ABSOLUTELY the reason why I created this project watchlist in the first place -- to watch this kind of show. This show cements my utter respect and passion for the work of Aof Noppharnach. This guy’s work needs to be taught in schools. 
I’m like -- after days of finishing HCTM, and furiously and hungrily rewatching episodes, I am still shaking my damn head at this show. I knew it was great, but y’all didn’t prepare me for ITS GREATNESS. (And to be watching it the same week as Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars -- it’s been an Aof-themed moment, and I’m a touch overwhelmed by EVERYTHING I’ve absorbed.)
I am actually contemplating -- I’m seriously contemplating this! -- if I like this show better than either Bad Buddy or Moonlight Chicken. I know, I KNOW. I’m not talking about the story, the structure, the filming, the writing and direction. I’m literally just talking about my own damn preferences. I might just LIKE this show better, for what it held, what it told, and how the show showed so much respect for its story.
And there’s a lot I want to touch on in this piece, so as usual, a little list for myself:
1) Where this show came from vis à vis the watchlist, and what I think it meant by way of previous BLs 2) The Asianness of the show and how it transcended the usual BL tropes 3) A celebration of Aof’s favorite themes, and how cool it was to see them being born in HCTM (including the theme of young/first love that I haven’t seen before in his work) 4) A hopefully brief and not angry reflection on shipper culture, homophobia, Ohm, Singto, and how that affected HCTM in the annals of Thai BL
Without having seen his My Dear Loser work, or his screenwriting for Gay OK Bangkok 1 and 2 (which I plan to watch after the OGMMTVC is over, in preparation for Only Friends): HCTM is the first full Aof vehicle to enter my watchlist. So just quickly looking behind me: I’ve had shows like Love Sick, SOTUS, Together With Me, Love By Chance -- shows that began to toe the line, then define the line, then sharpen the line of what BL was. As I wrote in my Love By Chance review last week, I felt that LBC was the first show on my watchlist that felt like a true derivative BL, complete with tropes that had been born during Love Sick and SOTUS, and sharpened over those first few years of the Thai BL industry growing.
So it’s 2019 now, and we get He’s Coming To Me, both written and directed by P’Aof. Tropes? No tropes. What a flip from LBC.
Instead, we get an absolute head-first dive into many of the themes that we see Aof continued to play with in his later works. For me, HCTM evoked Moonlight Chicken the most, especially for what I call the Asianness of this show -- Aof’s unabashed focus on Asian cultural themes and threads that create structure and movement for his characters.
Before I get ahead of myself, I want to thank @telomeke very deeply for chatting with me about how I could learn more about Thai-Chinese culture, because themes and behaviors related to Thai-Chinese demographics are clearly common in Thai BLs, and I’ve felt that it behooved me to learn more about the culture (or as much as I can from the internet) as I continue to review these shows. But @telomeke reminded me that a lot of the assimilation of Chinese cultures and populations mirror the cultural mixing that took and takes place in Malaysia, where a part of my family hails and where I’ve spent a good portion of my life. So I’m relieved that I actually understand more about Thai-Chinese culture than I gave myself credit for, BUT -- that’s only a caveat, because I still have so much more to learn.
I say this because I’m using this word, “Asianness,” to describe in part at least one impression I have about HCTM, which is taking seriously the theme of ghosts and what role ghosts play in a human’s life. We see very often in Japanese doramas the practice of praying at an altar honoring past ancestors -- ancestor culture and worship are big in Japan, and the doramas don’t shy away from that. We see temple trips all the time in doramas and BL doramas -- especially during New Year’s. (Our Dining Table being just the most recent one.) We see Buddhist temple culture in Thai BLs often -- in KinnPorsche, in Bed Friend, in Big Dragon, and very especially in Moonlight Chicken.
I think what I want to point out here, if I can say it eloquently, is that a Western viewer might find more notable in an Asian drama, than in a Western show, the inclusion of practices of spirituality. In the West, spirituality might be indicated by a trip to a church, or prayer. But it strikes me -- and maybe this is because I’m a first-generation Asian-American, my eyes open to ALL the differences between my culture and America -- that Asian dramas incorporate the practices of spirituality more seamlessly, because practices like lighting an incense stick and giving a quick prayer before breakfast is more culturally embedded in places like Japan or Thailand. The practice is there, and you just do it, because that’s what you do for your culture. (I often see a stick of incense lit and burning next to a plate of fruits in the early mornings when I jog past Thai restaurants. It’s just -- what you do.)
It struck me, and I still wonder about it, if Western viewers may have thought that Thun was going overboard with his interest in Thai-Chinese Buddhist practices, including being so diligent about offering alms to the passing monks, going to the temple for merits, and keeping electric incense sticks on him to make sure that Med wouldn’t disappear. An auntie on Whatsapp might cock a curious eyebrow, but also regard Thun as a “good boy” who’s devoted to the temple.
In any case, this struck me particularly deeply, because I think, if P’Aof had been a little more abashed, that he could have toned this theme down -- the theme of the everyday practice of Buddhism.
And he didn’t. He didn’t tone it down. He leveraged it as THE major theme of the drama: that ghosts exist in Thai-Chinese-Buddhist culture and practice, and that some people can communicate with ghosts, including both Thun and his mom. 
The ABSOLUTELY wonderful @telomeke​ affirmed this for me, writing so eloquently: “Underlying HCTM is an unshakeable belief in the spirit world, and it's also a given ... for a majority of people in SE Asia and Thailand in particular that the spiritual realm is as much a part of the everyday world as much as the physical reality of what we can see and touch.”
The reason why I’m hammering on this in particular is because it categorizes the show as one that is utterly representative of A SPECIFIC CULTURE -- just like Moonlight Chicken, with its commentaries on spiritual and economic practices of the particular place of Pattaya. @telomeke​, I know you have specific feelings about the ending of HCTM, which I’ll get to in a moment, but I think for me, the ending of HCTM is deeply satisfying BECAUSE of this connection to Thai-Buddhist culture, what it says about ghosts and spirits, and how they continue to be incorporated in the ongoing life of a young Thai adult like Thun. AND, I appreciated that the ending skirted, just slightly, what we might have expected about someone losing their lover (à la Eternal Yesterday). Thun only temporarily lost Med... but Med still doesn’t quite exist. And I think there’s layers there that I’ll hopefully get to teasing out, either here or in a future post.
Going back to BL tropes and structures... I mean, HCTM was just like, yo, I’m gonna play in another ball field. I’ll have more thoughts on this after I watch Dark Blue Kiss, but at least, as far as I’m aware WITHOUT having seen DBK yet, that it’s not until late 2021 that P’Aof begins playing in the BL sandbox, takes his toy dump truck, and turns the tropes upside down in Bad Buddy.
And I see, in HCTM, P’Aof laying the groundwork for the themes that he DOES love, that I happen to love, and that get repeated in his oeuvre:
- The theme of community: the need for young and old queer individuals to interact with other queer individuals (most recently depicted in OS2/BBS/ATOTS) - The theme of NOSTALGIA: Med having never left his moment 20 years prior, listening to the same music of Thun’s mom’s generation (nostalgia being most recently depicted in Moonlight Chicken) - The parable of 1,000 stars: what it means to be the last star on which to make a wish (most recently depicted in ATOTS and OS2/ATOTS) - The anguish of coming out: Thun, Uncle Jim, Li Ming, Pran coming out to Dissaya -- all heavy, all impactful, all different stories that carry heaviness and their own meaning to each of these incredible characters
And there’s so many more. But what I really want to do, to get up on the rooftops that P’Aof loves so much, and YELL TO THE AIR is:
THE GENIUS, THE SHEER GENIUS, of linking these themes -- many of these as ASIAN themes! -- to specific issues that face the queer community, such as coming out, and being invisible (like a ghost) in a majority cishet society. 
GAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH. Oh, the pain in my heart. This is exactly what I wrote in my notes while rewatching the show: “This is the first time we get Big Cultural Themes outside of issues with the queer community -- and Aof LINKS the Big Cultural Themes WITH queer issues -- the brilliance of it all.” Just like he did subsequently in Moonlight Chicken.
What was so beautiful to me about He’s Coming To Me -- and how it was channeled with GENIUS TALENT AND GRACE from Ohm and Singto -- is that, unlike Moonlight Chicken, this was the story of one young man who needed to sort out his feelings. And there was another young man, a young man who was killed, who HAD begun realizing his feelings, but was trapped by station (from a rich family) and role (the only son in a family). Med even said, it would have been impossible for him to come out as the only son of his family.
As far as we knew, Med had only come out to Kwan, Thun’s mom, before he died. Med may have very well been attracted to other men before he died -- but we see him VISCERALLY attracted to Thun, and vice versa, and that burst of first love for both young men, IN THE CONTEXT OF Thun’s spiritual practice and abilities to BRING Med to “life” in Thun’s life -- I mean. I’m shaking my head. It’s a parable for manifesting what you want in your life, and making it happen. 
And yet, what HCTM also touches on, is that many times, you DON’T get what you want in life. Med WILL disappear one day. He will be reborn. It wasn’t his time at the moment of the ending, but it will be his time one day. Thun only has Med temporarily -- we don’t see the WHEN of that. 
BUT. I would posit (and @telomeke​ and @wen-kexing-apologist​, I wonder what you think of this), à la OS2/Bad Buddy, that P’Aof is OKAY with us not seeing this, and not necessarily considering the ending of HCTM to be a happy ending for Thun and Med. Because he knows -- and he knows that his Asian viewers know -- that Med WILL leave Thun one day. Not yet, though. Thun still has a little time to grow wiser and older and stronger. But Med WILL disappear one day. He had been hinting at it all throughout every episode of the series. He will have to leave Thun’s side. 
I think the way the show ended was graceful. It leaves that door open for Med to find his rebirth, because was a good kid and deserves to be reborn in a happy life. It allows Thun time to grow through his first love -- first love being such an important theme to this show. It’s COMPASSIONATE to Thun, very similar to me to the kind of compassion that P’Aof showed to Uncle Jim throughout Moonlight Chicken, and just now in OS2/ATOTS to Phupha. But it’s also rooted in the SPIRITUAL REALITY that Med WILL leave -- just not yet. And P’Aof is saying, I didn’t need to show y’all, because y’all Asians already know, Med’s outta here one day. 
The other thing to note about the ending is that P’Aof had already shown a tremendous amount of Thun’s pain. Thun wasn’t necessarily HAPPY in this show. He was curious, exploring, and loyal to Med. While Thun is clearly a young man who DEMONSTRATES happiness -- MY GAWD, the 19-year-old smile of Ohm Pawat!!! -- I wouldn’t say that he was a happy child. He lost his dad young. He was SCARED as hell for potentially letting his mom down. And: he had a lot of secrets to keep. The secret of being gay. The secret of being able to see and talk to ghosts.
“He’s coming to me.” Thun comes out, twice. He’s gay, and can see ghosts. 
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Even though others can’t see ghosts, I can. Even though others aren’t gay, I’m gay. Mom: I’m different. 
When Thun sobs for Med while holding onto the jar of stars in his bedroom. When Thun spins around, looking for Med on the rooftop in episode five. When Thun calls for Med and Med isn’t there. Thun is alone. He is alone with his secrets, and Med is not there -- he is NOT coming to Thun in those moments -- and Thun is left alone, different and unique, as he has been his whole life.
I’d posit that that uniqueness is particularly difficult to deal with in collectivist Asian societies as in Thailand -- which led, in part, to Thun not knowing the language of his feelings as he came out to Med in episode five on the rooftop, and being SCARED, to his bones, to come out to his friends and his mom in episode six.
For 2019: I see this show as being ahead of its time, way ahead of its time. I have lots of theories as to why this show isn’t considered a more striking part of the canon of Thai BLs, and the incredible @bengiyo​ and @shortpplfedup​ have helped me to understand the magnitude of the impact that P’Aof made in breaking up the KristSingto ship to pair Singto with Ohm -- and how the fan shippers came for HCTM, and pushed GMMTV to hide this show for years before finally releasing it on YouTube with subs.
But besides that fucking bullshit, which I’ll return to in a second, I also want to note that maybe -- considering that we have more years now, after 2019, to consider the massive trove of Thai BLs that exist now -- the skirting of the still-nascent BL tropes framework was too early for many when this show came out. As I’ve demonstrated here in this piece -- this show’s complicated. There’s A LOT A LOT. I mean, I’m in love with P’Aof’s work because I LIKE HAVING A LOT in my shows. But you go a flip side and you get Together With Me and MaxTul with love bites and throaty kisses (in the words of Seinfeld, not that there’s anything wrong with that). 
HCTM is heavy. It carried a lot that wasn’t overtly sexual by nature, like many BLs at that moment in 2019 and right beforehand (randy Perth, randy MaxTul, etc.).
I understand from @bengiyo​ and @shortpplfedup​ that, because Ohm needed to move on from Make It Right and the OhmToey ship due to Toey leaving BL after MIR, and Ohm joining forces with Singto, that Ohm received massive criticism, and continues to be a subject of criticism and bullying today (some of which I’ve seen on this site). And that Singto was also the subject of online bullying as well.
With all of this in mind -- Ohm, Singto, and the unique nature of HCTM -- I’m continuing to mull over the issue of homophobia in shipper culture. If BLs are reduced down SIMPLY to the pairings that lead these shows -- and that there’s an EXPECTATION that the shows NEED to depict certain acts of queer sexuality, SPECIFICALLY among actors who identify as straight -- that seems straight up homophobic to me.
I can see HCTM being too ahead of its time to begin shifting that paradigm. I’ll see what Dark Blue Kiss does next in the Aof oeuvre from this purview, but what I want to get at is:
IT IS CRIMINAL THAT HCTM ISN’T MORE WIDELY KNOWN. This show is affecting me literally at the same level as Bad Buddy and Moonlight Chicken.
What HCTM HELD by way of Asian culture and spirituality, by the RESPECT IT HAD for the experience of first young queer love, by LEVERAGING the ABSOLUTE BRILLIANCE OF ACTING OF OHM AND SINGTO (omg, AND SINE INTHIRA, are you kidding me?!?!?), and, oh shit, by BRINGING THAT ALL TOGETHER? To TELL a story of queerness and spirituality in Thailand?
Fuck. I’m just shaking my head. If it’s too much for the shipper folk, then... okay, go off. Leave the good stuff to me and the fam that GETS IT — the fam that gets that what we’re watching is ART, and not intended vessels for fantasy and fetish.
Last notes. I just want to say that in my SOTUS reviews, that I theorized that Singto would be brilliant when paired with a really good actor, and HCTM proved it to me. If it weren’t for this fucking shipper bullshit, I would have liked to see Singto and Ohm paired again.
Ohm is probably the most prevalent actor on my Thai BL list. I get that he was nicknamed “the king of BL,” and that he’s been the target of bias for that label and his predilection for being utterly brilliant in telling queer stories (thank you to @bengiyo​ and @miscellar​ for helping to fill me in on this).
Let me just say that this man is a goddamn MASTER. @shortpplfedup​ nailed it in her Ohm appreciation post.  @absolutebl summarizes why Ohm is singular in this BL space. Shippers who want to bully the mans, bring him down or whatever, spread misinformation, I want to say, angrily and rudely -- fuck off, and be afraid of talent in y’alls lives. 
With the tangle of homophobia and cyberbullying that seem to have an overstated impact on the Thai BL industry, it is a damn shame that Ohm doesn’t get more of his flowers, because he makes shows better. I mean: this guy OWNS ROOFTOPS. Episode five of HCTM?! Episode five of Bad Buddy?! Get this guy on a rooftop and he will SLAY. Pair him with people -- Singto? Nanon? Perth? OHM MAKES THESE GUYS BETTER ACTORS than they ever were previously.
I say the following, in all honesty, with a touch of disdain, of condescension, and sadness, for the people who don’t watch this show because it doesn’t have pectorals or hot make-out sessions, and because it features actors that many fans might want to bully:
HCTM does not have the reputation that it deserves. It’s not just a good show. It’s an HONORABLE show. For me, it pays homage to Asian cultures and practices that I relate to. It features a story of queer revelations and love that is written with passion and respect. It features probably the best acting I’ve seen so far on my watchlist. And it features two actors who were willing to subvert expectations, at the risk of their own careers, to tell this story, as written and directed by one of of the most brilliant, subversive, experimental, and creative filmmakers I’ve ever watched in Aof Noppharnach.
I want and need BL fans to appreciate Asian culture more in these shows. And I want and need BL fans to appreciate human behavior development as well. Because P’Aof is telling stories out here, stories that can enrich our lives. I wrote in my Bad Buddy thesis that BBS will be required viewing for my children. HCTM joins that list. HCTM makes me want to be a better Asian mother, and to make a world for my children where the experience of first love and coming out can be regarded not with pain, but with celebration and joy.
[It’s going to take me a while to get over HCTM, but I’ve already begun Dark Blue Kiss, and am having a FABULOUS time with it. That opening theme! P’Aof and JOCKS! Yum. Another frappé, please.
Here’s the updated list! Much to the chagrin of everyone-I-know-on-Tumblr (I’M SORRY @shortpplfedup​), I’m adding a VERY fast rewatch of ATOTS. Blame it on Our Skyy 2. I’ll want to watch ATOTS after the cinematic affair that is ITSAY, and after I’ve seen P’Aof do his thing on two existing series in DBK/Kiss and Still 2gether. ATOTS was my very first P’Aof series, and I want to rewatch it in chronology.
Here we go. As always, I’ll take recs, comments, etc.!
1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019)  10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (watching) 11) TharnType (2019) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (I’m watching this out of order just to get familiar with OffGun before Theory of Love -- will likely not review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) 14) Dew the Movie (2019) (not an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but I want to watch this in chronological order with everything else) 15) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) 16) 2gether (2020) 17) Still 2gether (2020) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) 20) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS 22) Lovely Writer (2021) 23) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 24) Not Me (2021-2022) 25) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 26) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 27) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 28) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 29) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 30) My School President (2022-2023) 31) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 32) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]
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bloodynereid · 5 months
Text
Reapers & Ravens
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pairing: jordan li x oc
tw: trauma ! literally sm of it - this ep was just trauma central, also trauma response, mentions of torture, experiments, soldier boy flirting ??, swearing, seizures, mentions of death, morally iffy, murder, manipulation - i think that's it ? lmk if there's more
description: the story of a girl. a girl cursed by compound v to live a life without touch.
a/n: so i'm actually proud of this chapter yayy! it's also officially the longest chapter in the series - second place goes to chapter one. it's insane to me that i took one of the shortest episodes and made it into this beast. also yes i have a crush on soldier boy - i don't support his values, he's the kind of man that would be better if he just sat around and looked pretty. I LOVE jensen ackles tho, that's my man - supernatural is my fave so apologies for that longish scene. hopefully you enjoy! asks are always open and lmk ur thoughts <3
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I stood in line right behind Marie as Cate pulled her bare hands away from her temples with an apologetic smile, she only smiled and moved out of the line - allowing me to be in front of Cate now.
“Hey.” I said with a sad twist of my lips, Cate mirrored my expression with her sad puppy dog eyes before raising her hands.
“Ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.”
Cate’s soft hands gently encased both sides of my face and I felt my power struggle for a few moments before finally surrendering to hers. The combination of feeling actual skin and raw power was dizzying to my senses.
“Remember the past few days.” Cate utters under her breath and an onslaught of memories makes me even more disorientated… but everything makes sense again. All of the strange pieces that I had been missing had been filled.
“Woah.” I sort of stumble out of the lineup and collapse onto the sofa, rubbing my temples through the leather of my gloves.
“Hey you okay?” Jordan asks as they settle down next to me, I crack open my eyelids and smile weakly at him.
“Yeah, just sort of dizzy. I should be fine in a bit.”
“If you’re sure?”
“Yup, you wouldn’t mind if I leaned on you for a second would you?” A surprised expression overtakes their face which instantly makes me regret even asking the question.
“You know what forget-”
“No, no it’s okay. I was just taken by surprise is all. Go ahead.” I smiled at him before lying my head on their shoulder. The soft material of his jacket caresses my face and a contented sigh leaves my mouth.
“Thank you.” I don’t notice the giddy smile that appears on Jordan’s face as I settle into the comfort. 
We watch as Cate gives Emma her memories back and the spinning in my brain starts to slow down. My powers are getting itchy though and after getting everything back, there was no way in hell I would try to take those pills again. An involuntary shudder runs along the length of my body. Fucking Vought.
“Jesus, thanks. I don’t know if I really wanted to remember all that. I have to go see Sam. Also you’re a cunt.” Emma exclaimed before she walked out of the room.
“Ah young love.” I said, making Gemma snort and Jordan chuckle from beside me.
“So what… Shetty made you do this?” Marie asked as she stood up and started to approach Cate. I patted Jordan’s arm lightly before standing up and wobbling slightly on my feet, making Jordan’s hand fly out and grab my forearm.
“Woah you okay?”
“Uh hmm.” I said as I weakly smiled at them, something felt off.
“Cate, look what you’ve done to Vic. You were in our fucking heads. Why the fuck did you do that?” Jordan asked as he made me lean onto them more. 
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t-” As much as I loved having Jordan be all hot and protective, they really didn’t have to be like that with Cate.
“Woah guys-” I started to say.
“No, Vic. She didn’t have any fucking right to do that. Look at yourself.” I rolled my eyes before I turned back to the blonde. Cate’s eyes were not just bloodshot, her irises were surrounded by pools of blood.
“Guys…” I started to warn everyone in the room, I understood that expression in Cate’s face - it was all too fucking familiar.
“I thought I was help-” Cate started to collapse, her arm extended towards the bar to find some stability.
“Woah, Cate.” Marie reached out towards her but Cate waved her off as she clutched onto the bar. I pulled away from Jordan, ignoring their protests and made my way to Cate.
“Cate, I need you to breathe.” She was staring at Jordan, Marie and Gemma’s faces with slight panic in her eyes. She started hobbling away from them, leaving their faces exasperated before going over to one of the armchairs.
“Cate! Look at me.” I walked over to her place in the chair, crouching down next to her. My slightly harsh tone made her eyeline turn towards me and I smiled gently at her before placing my gloved hands on her face. “It’s okay.”
I heard a quiet discussion happening behind me and turned to see that Marie had left the room in the same direction that Andre had headed out. Gemma and Jordan stood talking and occasionally shooting glances at me - Jordan’s filled with worry and Gemma’s filled with confusion.
“I just- I can’t do it anymore.”
“Can’t do what, Cate?”
“I- I-” My eyes widened when her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she started seizing in front of me. Shit, shit, shit.
“Guys! Help! Help me, please.” Jordan rushed over to me and helped grab Cate. They lowered her down onto the soft carpeting and I watched, helpless, as she continued to convulse. It’s happening all over again. I heard Marie and Andre rush over and kneel down next to Cate.
“What happened?”
“When she pushes too much, it fucks with her head!” Andre exclaimed as he cradled Cate’s head.
“Did any of you learn CPR?”
“Where?”
“At fucking super hero school!”
“VIC! Do that thing you did the other night.” Andre said as he looked up at me with pleading eyes, I felt everyone’s eyes on my panicked face.
“I- I can’t.”
“What the fuck do you mean you can’t?” Andre yelled, making me jump.
“My powers are on the fritz, Andre! When she gave me my memories back- I don’t know how to fucking explain it. Cate’s too fucking strong!” I yelled back, I felt fucking powerless. My powers weren’t going to cooperate this time, I had a strong fucking feeling that if I touched Cate again - I might kill her.
“You did it before!”
“I’ll kill her! I can’t control my powers and I haven’t taken-” My mouth snaps shut before I can finish my sentence. My brain brings back a memory from when my dad first handed me the pills - it’s blurry but it’s there.
“Vicky, you’re going to need to take these now.”
“Why?” 
“You want to make your daddy proud right?” I nod quickly and a smirk encases his face.
“Never tell anyone about these though, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Oh my darling girl.” 
My body snaps back into reality when Jordan gently shakes my shoulder. I focus on Marie holding her hands in front of Cate with a look of pure concentration on her face.
“Are you okay?” Gemma whispers from beside me.
“Uh yeah. Sorry about that.”
Cate, thank god, stops convulsing. I slip my hand into one of her still ones and Andre leans over her to see if she’s still breathing. 
“She’s breathing!” I let out a sigh of relief the same moment basically everyone else does. 
“When is she going to wake up?” Jordan stutters out and I lean my head on their shoulder as a hand comes to circle around my own shoulders. Their hand traces circles on my clothed collarbone and the world slows down.
I catch Andre’s eyes from across from me and he is about to open his mouth to hopefully apologize but I just shake my head and start standing up. Jordan realizes what I’m trying to do and pulls their hand away from my shoulder and instead encases my gloved one.
Andre ends up carefully moving Cate’s still, almost too still, body to one of the couches. We watch anxiously as she just lies there.
“Can you hear us? Cate, can you hear us?” Maire asks pleadingly. This was getting to be too much. My empty hand tightens in an effort to ground myself. Fuck.
“Has she ever pushed this much before?” Jordan asks as he squeezes my hand, their obviously worried tone bleeds into his words. 
“Who cares? This is what she gets for mind-raping her friends.” My jaw drops as I turn my head to look at Andre. 
“What the actual fuck, Andre?” I don’t recognize my friend at all, I understood his anger but this was to a fucking extreme. Right as Andre is about to respond, Cate’s eyes fly open and she disappears with a pop. What the fuck?
“We all saw that, right?” I ask into the now dead silent room.
“I mean I’m pretty high right now, but I think so.” I looked up to see that Dusty had joined our little vigil.
“Hey Dusty.”
“Vic! This is probably the most I’ve seen you in ages.”
“Yeah.”
“Anyways, does anyone know where she went?” Gemma’s voice echoed through the room.
“Uh-” I look back at Dusty who now has his back turned and is looking at the bricks of the house floating away? Huh.
“What the-” Marie starts to ask as the group starts making its way over to Dusty. Of course, Marie starts to venture out first into the forest.
“Right yup let’s just walk through the creepy floating hole.” I add sarcastically but following after her anyways. Jordan let go of my hand but still walked next to me. I found that I actually missed the warmth that their hand had been emanating. God I’m really gone for them, aren’t I?
Sunshine streams through the leaves and gives the whole forest an actually pleasant atmosphere. I twirl around with a confused look etched on my face, before focusing back on the way we came in… only to find Dusty’s house completely gone.
“Ok… this is really fucking weird.” I say as I run a hand through my hair.
“Maybe Cate’s more powerful than we thought.” I turn towards Marie and make a sound assent before walking over to Gemma.
“You okay Gemma? I know this is probably fucking insane and I’m so sorry I dragged you into this.”
“Whoa no, it’s totally fine. I volunteered to help okay? Don’t worry yourself about it.”
“If you’re sure…”
“100 percent.” After my little check in with her I turn back to the group, only to see Andre stomping off into the woods. How much more of an idiot can this man be?
“Andre! Andre, stop! We don’t know where the fuck we are, you can’t just go off into the bloody woods.” I exclaim as I try to catch up with Andre, everyone following after me. I could hear the crackling of the leaves under my boots and the sound of thunder made my nerves jump. Strangely I couldn’t feel my powers, I brought my hand towards my face and realized that my skin wasn’t itching like normal.
What the fuck was going on?
“Caleb? Caleb!” I furrowed my eyebrows and hid behind a random tree along with Andre and the rest of the group.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I looked into the clearing, a woman and a policeman stood arguing in the middle of the fallen leaves.
“Caleb… Caleb is Cate’s brother’s name.” Andre utters and my eyes widen. This wasn’t real. We were in a fucking memory.
“Mommy? Mommy!”
“Holy shit! This is a memory.” Marie utters from beside me and I let out a deep breath before sharing worried glances with Jordan. This was bad. 
“I don’t feel safe with her.” 
My head snaps back to the scene and realization tickles my brain. So many people in my life had said those exact same words to my face. It didn’t matter that my dad was famous, he was the one who uttered those words for the first time. That phrase has followed me throughout my life. I closed my eyes, hard. Trying to keep the tears at bay as the memory continued to play in front of me.
“Hey!” Fuck! I jumped and swiveled my head around to see… Soldier Boy? 
“What are you greasy sack of fuck nuts doing here? Not you, sweetheart.” He looked over at me when uttering the last sentence and sent me a wink, making my jaw drop as Jordan stiffened next to me.
“Soldier Boy?”
“What the fuck?”
“What are you doing in here?” Marie asked as I was just getting over the fact that Soldier Boy winked at me. Okay Vic stop, your childhood crush is showing.
“Uh hi?” I stuttered out and Jordan swiveled to look at me. I could feel their incredulous expression.
“Hi sweetheart. Anyways, to answer your previous question, I’m Cate’s imaginary friend when she was a kid. Boyfriend, really. I taught her how to jerk off…”
The next barrage of words that left Soldier Boy’s mouth left my jaw dropped and an horribly vivid image in my head. Not that I don’t love Cate but UGH.
“It was pretty romantic.”
“Hell yeah brother.” Dusty said as he held up his fist, making me slap his shoulder. “Hey!”
“You fucking deserved that.” Soldier Boy said as he smirked in my direction and I felt a blush start to creep up my neck. Nope, no. He’s not even real. That’s when I felt an arm encircle my waist and pull me into solid warmth. Jordan.
I spied a look up at them and he had a murderous look in their eyes directed at Soldier Boy. Oh. Oh my God. Jordan was jealous. A smile appeared on my face as I focused back on the man standing in front of us.
“I- I’m pretty sure she didn’t like Jonas Brothers, that's all.” I lean around Jordan to look at Andre with a confused expression on my face. 
“Dude how is this relevant?” I asked. 
“I know you. You’re Cate’s newest little fuckboy. She really loves you… but not to worry - boys come and go but she’ll always come back for some… pillow talk. Which you’re welcome to join anytime.” Soldier Boy said as he winked at me again. Jordan’s hand tightened and an incredulous giggle left my mouth.
“Oh fuck off. You’re literally a Russian agent, you fuck.”
“Andre. Bigger shit going on right now.” Marie said.
“Exactly!”
“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Soldier Boy asked as he looked at us with a calculating expression on his face.
“You were supposedly radicalized by the Russians.” Jordan said in response, their tone was laced with jealous venom. 
“Fuck you. I’m not a godless, dickless, fuckwad of a commie. I’m red-blooded. The American kind. Red-white-and-blue red. I can fart “The Star-Spangled Banner.” The last sentence made my nose scrunch up, god I had forgotten how old this man actually was.
“You’re a fucking weirdo, dude.” Andre said, literally the one sentence that he had uttered tonight that actually had some merit.
“Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Go fuck your face.” An incredulous snort left my mouth and I raised a gloved hand to stifle my giggles.
“Ok! Ok! Let’s get back to the point.”
“Yeah, why the fuck are we here?” Gemma asked from where she was leaning on the tree.
“How should I know? Cate wants you in here for some fucking reason but if you don’t figure that out soon you’ll be stuck in here.”
“What?” We all simultaneously exclaim, this situation was getting worse by the fucking minute.
“That wasn’t all that thunder and lightning bullshit.” Soldier Boy adds as the sky flashes gold, making me gulp. “It’s one of Cate’s blood vessels bursting. So if you don’t get out of here before Cate turns into a vegetable then you will all become one with her.”
“Shit!”
“Exactly, so if you want to live, the single most important thing to remember is-” Soldier Boy was interrupted when he was blasted into a pile of black ash when one of those gold lightning rods hit him. Oh shit. 
“Oh my god, Soldier Boy is dead.”
“If that’s what happens to her imaginary boyfriend… what will happen to us?” Jordan asks with concern as they start tracing shapes on my arm, not that I was complaining. Touch was something I fucking missed - in any form.
“We should probably go.” I say as my voice strains and shock runs through my spine. Mutters of assent come from the group and we start heading away from the clearing as Jordan pulls me alongside them with his hand clutching mine. 
“That guy was a fucking dick right?”
“Only to you, Andre.” I said while rolling my eyes and scoffing.
“Well he was flirting up a fucking storm with you so I can clearly see why you’re disagreeing with me.”
“God will you shut up?” Jordan exclaimed towards Andre, who made a choked sound and looked at Jordan with a bewildered look on his face.
“Everything okay?” I ask as we continue to trek through the leaves and broken branches.
“Just didn’t like how Soldier Boy was talking to you.”
“Hmm really? I thought we weren’t going to make this a ‘thing’.” I uttered with a teasing undertone, a smirk already making its way to my face as I squeezed Jordan’s hand.
“We are having a long talk about that later.”
“Oh really?”
“Hmm.” My laughter fills the space and out of the corner of my eye I can see Jordan’s smile grow.
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My everything hurts. It felt like we had been walking for hours, which was weird because we literally were in Cate’s brain. I was somehow able not to lag behind because Jordan was basically pulling me by the hand at this point. Hey don’t blame the supe stamina! Blame my stupid fucking boots.
I kick another branch out of my way before taking a deep breath and soldiering on (putting a bit more energy into the whole situation, not letting go of Jordan’s hand). 
“What if Cate is dying in the real world?”
“Like you even care.” I quipped in response to Andre’s question.
“Woah, what gave you that idea?”
“Dude have you been around yourself at all today?”
“OKAY! And I thought Jordan and I had been bad.” Marie intervened, as she tried to mediate whatever fight Andre and I were in. I remembered that even as kids when one of us got mad at the other person we would either explode in large fucking rages or ignore each other for weeks on end.
“God could you bitches slow the fuck down?” I heard Dusty mutter from behind us, making me look back at the brunette who was breathing loudly and leaning against a tree. I chuckle and turn back around only to be greeted by the sight of Cate sitting in some sort of floating window surrounded by wooden panels.
Everyone watched on as the memory with Dean Shetty played out. The memory almost felt like something that could have - and sort of did happen to me. The amount of manipulation that Shetty was able to exercise just because of how horrible Cate’s parents were made my heart ache. My hands clenched harder and harder with the contained anger I was trying to suppress.
A gasp left my mouth when Shetty presented Cate with the flask of pills. They reminded me so much of my own little neon atrocities. Something in my head itched, but it wasn’t my powers. Weird.
The memory suddenly ended and I looked around to find that we were standing in one of God U’s classrooms. A place I had been in just a few days ago.
“I haven’t been in a classroom in years.” I heard Dusty utter as I pulled out one of the wheeled chairs and sat down in between Jordan and Gemma.
I stretch out my fingers in my gloves as I try to pay attention to the scene that was happening in front of me. Luke looked so… alive. It was sort of creepy.
“All the way to the top.” That was when I heard Andre stand up and exhale loudly.
“We- we should leave. I- I can’t be around here.”
“I miss you, man.” Luke’s voice makes us all freeze, I watch as Andre turns around and looks at Luke in pure happiness.
“I-I miss you too. So fucking much.” 
“But… you know what? I don’t fucking believe you. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?” Andre’s face falls and he takes a step back, I feel my eyebrows furrow and suddenly all the screens in the classroom turn on.
“Andre…”
Each screen begins to show Andre and Cate’s biggest hits. I feel my jaw drop for probably the millionth time today. Andre what the fuck have you done? You don’t sleep with your best friend’s girlfriend. Oh my god, we were so doomed. I start peeling off my gloves as the videos click off and Luke turns back to face us.
“How many times?”
“Uh- I-”
“How many fucking times?” Luke repeats but this time with a much angrier tone. I take off the last of the leather and neatly stack my gloves on top of each other. Gemma turns towards me and looks down at my bare hands and then back up to my face. I just give her a shrug and she nods slightly.
“Andre, you can’t be fucking serious. Was that real?”
“She didn’t make you do it, did she?” Luke asks as Andre just holds a hand up towards Jordan who is now stalking towards him. I pull myself up from my own seat and the cold of the metal almost makes me jump. Jesus my senses were going insane without my gloves on.
“You wanted to do it. All behind my back.”
“I’m-I’m sorry.” Andre stuttered out, making a scoff leave my mouth as I put my ungloved hand on Jordan’s shoulder. They turn towards me and he raises his eyebrows at my hand. I shake my head before pointing to Luke, who is very much starting to flame out.
“Woah, woah, out of my way cunts!” Dusty screams as he flys out of his chair and towards the door. Luke doesn’t hesitate to send a ball of fire towards him which makes him explode in a bloody cloud.
“Oh God, Dusty!” I yell as I push past Jordan as I extend my hand towards Luke’s uncovered face but I realize my mistake when I hear Jordan’s voice.
“I- I can’t switch.” My eyes widen, panic fills my body and then I feel something pull me away from Luke. I turned to Gemma who was now holding my very bare hand in hers. We both look up at each other in surprise.
“Guys! Run, we have to fucking run.” I don’t even venture a glance back towards Luke or my gloves before I start sprinting after Marie. We run through different hallways until we’re suddenly in Brink’s office.
“Fucking hell. Do you think we’re safe now?” I ask as I lean against the TA desk.
“I hope so.” Jordan answers as they turn towards me and smile. I smile giddily back. I can actually touch things holy shit!
“Seriously, Andre? You’re that guy?”
“Hey look, you don’t think I feel like a piece of shit?” Jordan and I both scoff at the same time before I start inching my pinkie towards theirs. “I loved her.”
“Are we just not going to talk about Dusty?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation away from Andre’s stupid issues.
My attention is drawn away as loud shouting echoes through the closed wooden doors. It was Luke and Brink. I moved away from the desk and followed Jordan as they made their way to the doors. The voices became clearer and almost angrier. I felt a force hit my right shoulder as something barrelled between Jordan and I.
“Hey!” Jordan exclaimed and I was about to voice a similar sentiment when I noticed that it was literally Jordan who had bumped into us. Well, memory Jordan not actual Jordan?
“Oh? Ok.”
“Is Cate in there?” Marie asked as I saw Jordan’s face slowly morph into one of panic.
“No, no this isn’t her memory. It’s mine.”
“How? How the fuck would that happen?” Andre asked as he turned towards us. I just put my hand on Jordan’s shoulder and tried to call them down. He looked devastated.
I turned to look as memory Jordan opened the doors and we followed behind them. Brink was standing in front of a furious looking Luke, holding a syringe in his hand. Oh shit. It felt like the events of the memory played out in slow motion.
I watched as memory Jordan picked up some kind of canister and put it over Luke’s face, making him collapse. A moment later a response team brought in a stretcher and quickly got Luke out of the office.
“What do I always say, huh? Being a hero, it’s not about the glory, it’s about the…”
“Sacrifice.” Jordan muttered and a strange tension appeared in the back of my brain. I had heard that before. Somewhere. 
The conversation continued and a little part of my heart broke. Being in the supe business was to be manipulated but this… fucking hell Cate and Jordan deserved better. I watch as Jordan’s face contorts through multiple levels of pain and sadness. I hesitantly put a hand on their shoulder and they put their hand over mine. 
“So you knew! You knew Golden Boy attacked Brink before.” Marie said, almost yelling. We both turned to look at her and I was about to open my mouth to defend them when Jordan’s voice cut me off.
“I didn’t- I didn’t know what all that meant.”
“Of course you did.” Out of the periphery of my eye I saw Jordan’s eyes start to well in tears, they moved away from my touch and instead let out a sigh.
“He said he was juicing Golden Boy!”
“And you just believed him.”
“What would you have done?”
“Something, Jordan!” Andre screamed out and I felt my nerves harden.
“Oh like you’re just the perfect saint Andre. Just fucking imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes for a single second.” I exclaimed, sending Andre a harsh glare. 
“We could have stopped everything right here.” Memory Jordan’s voice resonated off the now almost completely silent room. I felt fucking helpless. Again. It seemed like a recurring thing today.
“You’re a coward. And you always will be.” I saw tears form in memory Jordan’s eyes which finally caused me to move. I walked up to them and leaned down next to Jordan.
“What do you need?” I asked quietly, almost hesitating to break the silence of the room. Jordan basically lunged at me and I put my arms around them. Clenching my eyes shut I moved a hand up to their hair and started to massage his scalp. Supposedly it was something that was meant to help calm people down. I had never done it or had it done to me so I was going off of pure instinct here.
“Oh shit.” Marie blurted out and I opened my eyes to a hallway lined with doors… and a mural of the woods. Fuck. It all felt a little too familiar.
“Hey Jordan.”
“Hmm, oh.” Jordan left my embrace and looked around the new location, slightly trying to avoid Andre, Marie and Gemma’s eyes.
“This is The fucking Woods.” I stuttered out as I started to massage the inside of my wrists.
“What I don’t get is how we saw my memory, not Cate’s.” Jordan said as we stopped marveling at our surroundings. “It’s like all of our collective shit is blending together.”
“That means bad things for us.” Gemma added as she leaned against the hellish mural. God that thing gave me the creeps. Those little beady eyes seemed to be following my every move.
“How about we talk about your shit, Jordan?”
“Yeah!”
“Marie, Andre, come on!” I exclaimed as the tingle in my head resurfaced. Something was really wrong. 
“No, I-I’m sorry okay? I bought into all of Brink’s bullshit and propaganda. I didn’t want to see the fact that he was just like Shetty. Fuck this place! Come on, Vic.” Jordan pulled out one of their hands from their pocket and encased mine before starting to walk down the hallway.
“I’m going to make it right… for Luke.”
“Ow, fuck!” I exclaimed as a sharp pain went through my body. It felt like my brain was being smashed against a cement wall over and over again.
“Vic!” Everyone shouted as everything became blurry. I turned around and looked through the open doorway. And suddenly things started to flood in. I knew these rooms. I knew the fucking mural.
“I-I’m fine. Just a small headache is all?”
“You sure?” I nodded stiffly and turned to look back into the room.
In the room, laying side by side were Luke and Sam. Both hooked up to some kind of machine. As Marie, Gemma and Andre joined us they each let out a gasp.
“What the fuck is going on? What are you fucking doing to me?” Luke yelled out as he sat up instantaneously.
“Hurry.”
“Sam! Sam!”
“Luke! Sam! Fucking stop. Open this door. Open the fucking door.” A familiar voice screamed out, muffled slightly by something. Slipping away from the group I walked over to the only other open door in the hallway.
Peering into the room a scream tore through my body. Lying, tied down like a lamb to the slaughter was me. A fucking muzzle like the one worn by Hannibal Lecter was encasing the lower half of my face.
My natural brunette locks lay messily around memory me as she thrashed and screamed. The first person to reach me was Jordan. I stood frozen with a horrified expression on my face, no longer breathing.
I could distantly feel Jordan shaking my shoulders, the rest of the group soon joining him. But I felt like I wasn’t in my body anymore.
Memories seemed to corrode my very sense of self. Snippets of previous conversations, standing in the middle of a sea of dead people, my dad yelling in my face… all of the fucking experiments.
The only thing that actually seemed to bring me back to my body was the sound of Dean Shetty’s voice ringing like nails on a chalkboard through my brain.
“Oh my God, Cate, please go shut her up!”
“But-”
“It’s probably what’s making Luke worse. Please.”
“Yeah uh okay.”
I watched as the blonde made her way into my grimy little cell and carefully placed just her fingertips to my forehead. Memory me seemed like she was trying to bite Cate but the fucking muzzle stopped her. I-I didn’t feel like that person but she was me. I was her. 
“You are going to forget about Luke and Sam. You are going to forget the torture. Please forget.” Cate said the last two sentences in a much lower voice, making memory me’s face instantly calm and Cate made her way out of the cell.
“Vic? Victoria? Are you okay?”
“Andre! What the fuck kind of question is that?” Jordan screamed at Andre before turning to me. They let out a sigh of relief when he realized I was kind of back.
“Vic?”
“Yeah Jordan.”
“What do you need from me?”
“A hug would be nice.”
“Of course, darling. Come here.” I weakly smile and put my arms around them, letting my face (which was still somehow devoid of tears) burrow into the soft fabric of their shirt.
“Victoriaaaa. Vickyyy. Viccc.” I hear the sound of my name coming out of my own mouth, well memory me - who no longer had a muzzle muffling her words. I take a deep breath, inhaling Jordan’s calming scent before pushing myself up and walking into the cell.
“You called?”
“I’m actually surprised you didn’t totally break. I mean look at me, we are cuckoo crazyyy.”
“Victoria, we are not.”
“Oh really? I thought you saw my little exchange with your dearest friend Catey.”
“Victoria…”
“Aww you care about the little supe don’t you? Even after you realize everything that she did to you.”
“She had her reasons…”
“Did you ever even think about the fucking time gaps in your memory? You’ve been in this damn cell for months now. Dearest dad put you in here and left you to fucking die.”
“And yet here I am.”
“Yes, there you are. Still sucking up to the fucks that run the school. You are stronger than you think you are, Victoria.”
“I-”
“No more time to talk. Need to go burrow back into your subconscious. I really wouldn’t want us to die.”
“Us?”
“You and me, are the same person but…” Before the girl could speak anymore the room dissolved into an office space and everyone was left to stand in front of Shetty and Brink.
“Vic, if you-” Marie started to say before I turned to look at her.
“Look can we just not talk about it? Shit happened. It’s in the past. We move on.”
“Victoria…”
“God, Andre no. I don’t want to hear from you right now.” I exclaim before I feel a strong weight around my shoulders. It’s lighter than Jordan… it was Gemma.
“Hey.”
“Hey. I’m really fucking sorry.”
“Same, my dad is worse than I thought.” I say as I let out a deprecating chuckle. Fuck me. 
“Vic…”
“Yeah I know.” I feel Gemma’s weight disappear before I’m pulled into Jordan’s side. Their arm feels safe. They just feel safe.
During my tiny spiral I didn’t realize that the memory had ended and now we were standing in front of a white door. We weren’t even standing in the office anymore… instead I felt myself being slightly dragged towards the door.
“Wait, we can’t- I know this place.”
“Marie…” She opens the door and we are suddenly greeted with a murder scene. Marie’s parents. Shit. 
I zone out once again, everything feels so numb. Like the world is sort of foggy. I watch distantly as Marie talks to her sister and then randomly starts screaming at Cate? God, smarten the fuck up Victoria. No time for your little breakdowns right now.
The next thing I know we’re back in Cate’s childhood bedroom and I’m staring right at her. Her eyes are red from crying and her hair is kind of a mess.
“You shouldn’t be here!”
“But we are. We’ve been trying to wake you up.” Marie says, trying to keep her tone as calm as possible. Jordan still has their arm around me and I cuddled into his side.
“Look, you can all go now, I’ll let you wake up.”
“Come on, Cate. Let’s all just wake up and get the fuck out of here.” Jordan said with a hurried tone.
“Yeah, Cate. Come on. We can go binge a bunch of Soldier Boy movies if you want?” I finally manage to say in a low voice.
“I’ll join!” Gemma adds.
“Fucking hell, Vic how are you still nice to me after everything you know?”
“Cate, it’s fine. I forgive you okay? I. forgive. you. We’re all a little fucked up okay? You’ve shown us that.” I sent her a strained smile as energy seemed to be zapped from my very soul. I slightly lose my footing, and instead try to hold onto Jordan’s arm for balance.
“I don’t want to wake up.” My heart dropped, the first tear of the night finally slipped from my eyes and I quickly wiped it away. The fog was starting to leave the sides of my eyes.
“No. Fuck that. Cate, you don’t get to be selfish here. It doesn’t fucking matter what you want.”
“Andre… I’m sorry.”
“You don’t get to be sorry, it doesn’t cut it. Do you think you can just stay here and forget all your fucking problems? Fucking Victoria just figured out her entire life has basically been a lie. So, fuck you.”
“Andre… don’t you dare use my problems to state your fucking point but other than that I agree. Cate you have to come with us. We’re in this together.” My voice started out with a passionate amount of anger before it mellowed into something softer. 
“You fucking burrowed into my brain. You manipulated all of us. And- and I know you had your reasons and I wish you had done something different. Because I fucking love you and I wish I didn’t but I do, even if I won’t trust you ever again. You have a choice now, you finally have a fucking choice. So wake the fuck up.” 
A moment later I feel myself on the carpet, my gloves are back on my hands and the itchy feeling is back. It’s almost welcoming. Then it all comes flooding back. God my entire fucking life. I bring my hand up to feel the skin of my lower face. It’s almost like I could feel the fucking muzzle still on me. 
I push myself off the floor and look around at the face’s of my friends. I actually had friends now, no wonder I never had them before - being basically stuck in a torture chamber for months on end. I watch as Cate looks at Andre, completely defeated by his anger. I turn to look at Jordan and find them already looking at me. They smile weakly and I answer back with a pained expression before a few tears start falling from my eyes. Fuck.
“Vic, come-” I walk over to him and just hug them as sobs start ripping through my vocal cords. I feel them shift and let out a weak chuckle before looking up at her joyous expression.
“We’re back.” Everyone lets out a collective gasp of relief as I try to pull away from Jordan, only for them to pull me into a one sided hug. I’m careful not to touch any of their exposed skin… the one good thing about that whole dream situation was that I could actually touch her. 
A moment later, the door bursts open and Emma walks in with Sam in tow.
“Oh thank God you guys are still here.”
“Holy shit you actually found him.” A memory seems to resurface the moment Sam’s eyes meet mine.
“Ok favorite movie?” I ask through the little crack in the wall. I huddled against the cold tile and slightly moved the chains around my hands.
“Waterworld.”
“Huh? Really? Never watched it.”
“WHAT? We need to.”
“Great, definitely scheduling a movie night soon.”
“You bet your ass.”
“Oh, we should invite Luke.”
“He’ll probably just want to watch Star Wars.”
“I mean can you blame him? It’s one of the best movie franchises out there.”
“Ok fine, Vics. I agree with you.”
“Yes I finally did it, Sammy. You owe me 10 dollars.”
“What!”
I’m brought back to reality only to find multiple people trying to hold Sam back from getting to Cate. My eyes widened and I was almost tempted to jump into the fray when I remembered our secret signal.
“Sammy, white rabbit.” He instantly stopped struggling and turned towards me with an awed expression on his face.
“Vics.”
“Sammy.” He rushes towards me as shouts echo from the group but instantly stop when he engulfs me in a hug. 
“God, I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you too. God you look so fucking old.” I said as I pulled away from him and got a good look at his features.
“That’s what happens with time. So you remember now?”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
“Fuck, Vics. I’m sorry.”
“Hey I’m sorry about Luke. You know you two were like brothers to me.”
“Wait- you’re? Huh?” Emma’s expression morphed through different stages of confusion.
“Oh right we should probably catch you up Emma. Well I just kind of found out that I was down there. The Woods with Sam… and Luke.”
“You mean that- how did you not remem- Oh Cate…”
“Yup.”
“Jesus, I’m sorry.” I shrug as everyone starts to gather around a nervous looking Cate.
“Look, I know that you might never trust me again but I want to try.” Cate said as Sam continued to look at her with a murderous expression on his face.
“We know that so why don’t you start by telling us what The Woods is?” Marie asked with a reassuring smile on her face.
“They were using Sam to augment Luke’s powers and Vic too. Actually I’m not entirely sure why you were in there in the first place.” Cate said as she swiveled over to me. “They were doing all kinds of weird stuff to them.”
“Not just us. There are other kids down there as well.” Sam added. 
“Wait, so what were they doing to you down there?”
“Bad shit.” I said at the same time as Sam. 
“Shetty hates us.” Sam added. 
“She was directing it all.” Cate said, agreeing with Sam.
“So she has to be the answer. Remember, there is no going back if we do this.” Marie said, with a slightly ominous tone lacing her voice.
“I don’t have much else to lose.” I say cheerily, making Cate cringe back and Jordan look over at me again. This time with a pretty concerned look on their face.
“I saw we do this thing. They need to pay.”
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so... yeah. hopefully u enjoyed that little insight into vic's past. if you've seen my post about her powers lowkey being sentient - that's who was kind of talking to her - like it's her but it's not? ANYWAYS that was really fun to write for some reason, I got a bunch of inspo yesterday. lmk if u want to be added to the taglist and hopefully everything is still pretty canon compliant and makes sense lol.
taglist: @neapolitantoebeans @scorchedfangirl @losers-club6 @vvyuqi @bubblebuttwade @fix5idiots @ponypickle @nellyboosworld
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hertzwritings · 2 years
Text
She calls me daddy
A/N: I COMPLETELY forgot about this masterpiece of an idea from @staysluttymyfriends97​, and it would be an absolute crime to not post it. I don’t make the rules. Anyway, Frat-boy!Steve Rogers makes me feel all the good, and I enjoy a cocky Steve, soooooo….
You can buy me a coffee here, and I’ll write you a personalized something – the sky is the limit with whatever and whoever you want in there!
I love y’all, and hopefully, you’ll like this. Remember, feedback feeds the soul (mine) and my askbox and requests are always open – there’s no limits, because I am me and I have none.
MASTERLIST
CHRIS EVANS MASTERLIST
ASK ME ANYTHING/REQUESTS
Pairing: Frat-Boy!Steve Rogers x female reader, Nerd!Bucky (mentioned)
Contains: Language, Steve Rogers being a cocky dick, mentions of purity rings, smut (MDNI), fingering, oral (m recieving), p in v, unprotected sex, cum-shot, praise-kink, slight daddy-kink, slight dumbification, slight degradation-kink
W.C.: 4.638
 She calls me daddy
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“Seriously, do you need me there, or are you just acting like you do? You know I have finals next week, and I’ve been prepp…” Bucky glared at you, and you closed your mouth with a snap. “Listen to me. You’ve been prepping for one exam for a full month, now. You’re stressed as hell, you’re jumpy like a cat, who’s been strapped to fireworks, and I miss you.” He pouted and you groaned. “Stop that! You know I can’t handle your puppy-face.” “Please, Y/N, please? I promise, it’s going to be fun as hell, you enjoyed yourself the last time you were there!”
Bucky wasn’t wrong. You had enjoyed yourself, maybe even a little too much. Actually, you had enjoyed yourself way too much the last time you went to his frat house. And you did not want to face the consequences of your own actions.
Your actions being Steve.
Who had quite the rumor of “virgin-collecting”, which fell just in line with what you were when you entered the frat house the first time and left behind as well. Fucking Steve. “I don’t know, Buck…” You glanced at your feet. “Doll, listen to me, you need to actually enjoy your college-life. Don’t stay in here all the time. You’re getting musty.” Your eyes snapped to him, and you glared. “I am not getting musty.” He raised an eyebrow and you looked around in your one-bedroom apartment, realizing just how much you had been focused on exams. You sighed. “One drink. And if Steve gets close to me, I’m literally whacking his stupid, blonde head off his shoulders.” “Don’t you think it’s…” “I don’t, actually.” Bucky sighed. “I don’t know what happened last time, and if you would just talk to me…” “Funnily enough, I don’t. Wait here, give me like… Thirty minutes to get ready. Max.” You didn’t wait for an answer, twirling on your heel to grab a black, strappy dress and your makeup, before slamming the bathroom-door behind you, trying to calm yourself and get ready at the same time. One drink. One.
  The frat house was packed when you arrived with Bucky next to you – he grinned toothily at you and led you inside, grabbing the first drink he could and handed it to you. “I’m going to try and find Sam!” He yelled over the bass. “I think Wanda and Nat is around here somewhere.” You nodded. “I’ll find them!” You yelled back. The music was full of heavy bass – which meant that either Vis or Tony had gotten a hold of the music, because it was currently playing Such a Whore, which you found extremely fitting, when you spotted Steve grinding against a sweating blonde, gyrating his hips. You scoffed and scanned the room, drinking your drink – it tasted vaguely of tequila – and finally spotted the two red-heads huddled in a corner.
“Nat! Wanda!” You yelled at them, and they looked up with wide smiles. “Oh my god, Y/N! I didn’t think I’d ever see you here, especially during exam-prep!” You shrugged and hugged Wanda, who beamed at you. Natasha tipped her red solo-cup at you. “Looking good, babes.” You smiled. “You shouldn’t be talking, look at you!” Nat shrugged with a pleased smile on her lips. She did look fucking fantastic, wearing black leather-pants and a tight tank-top in a blood-red color. “I have to tell you about this thing Vis did the other day!” Wanda pulled you to a chair, and began talking your ear off. You didn’t really pay attention to her, because Steve’s eyes were trained on you, while the blonde girl grinded against him, his face resting in a confused expression. You looked away from his blue eyes and re-entered the conversation. “…. I know, but it’s true! I haven’t seen Steve without somebody in his room in forever, and he’s been like… Almost…” Nat frowned and downed the rest of her drink. Of course, you would join back into the conversation with Steve headlining. “I don’t know, he's been demure, almost. It’s weird.” She pointed to your drink, which you swallowed quickly. “Yes, please.” She grabbed both you and Wanda’s cups before walking back to the kitchen, her hips swaying. It was like watching the red sea parting for her. “What’s up with Steve?” You asked, trying to sound overwhelmingly uninterested. Wanda lifted her eyebrows. “Did Bucky not tell you?” You shook your head. “He’s been very busy with Joaquin.” You nodded to where Bucky was currently tongue-deep into his boyfriend’s throat. “Holy… Wow, I did not need to see that.” Wanda laughed. “Well, it’s a little bit of a mystery, really. So, a few months ago, at the Halloween-party, remember that?” Vividly. You even lost your purity-ring somewhere in Steve’s room – not that it should matter, because the promise behind it didn’t anymore, but it was sentimental. You had gotten used to wearing it and felt naked without it. “Anyway, Steve went to his room at some point with a girl wearing this awesome Christine, you know from the phantom of the opera?” You nodded. Thank God, you had worn a mask. “Well, she wore that costume and a mask, and they went to his room, right? Well, she had disappeared in the morning, and Steve has been stone-cold girl-sober ever since. It’s been almost three months, but he keeps saying that it’s not that interesting anymore or something like that.” She glanced at him, and you followed her eyes; Steve was still on the dancefloor, but looked wholly annoyed at the blonde, who was currently dry humping his leg. “Want to know the weirdest part, other than the fact that nobody knows who the mystery heartbreaker is?” You scoffed.   “He can’t be brokenhearted over a one-night stand.” She lifted her perfect eyebrow. “I beg to differ. He came down the next morning asking about her, and he was wearing this ring, and I think she might’ve left it behind. Like, Steve doesn’t do jewelry, right, but now? He wears that ring on his pinky at all times. It doesn’t fit him at all, so it’s like almost at the tip of his finger, but still. Never takes it off.” You were seething. Asshole. One thing was being another notch in his virginity-belt, but it was something else entirely to flaunt it to everyone.
Maybe nobody knew who you were right now, but it wouldn’t take much to figure out. “I’ll be right back, Wanda.” You said through gritted teeth and caught Steve’s eyes when you stood from your seat, nodding towards the back of the house, where you knew his room was. He cocked an eyebrow at you and nodded once, nearly indiscernible, and began whispering something to the blonde. You didn’t wait to see her reaction, but walked with fast feet to his room, and went inside.
The memories flooded you, as soon as his scent hit your nose; your moans echoed in your head, his tongue had imprinted itself on your body, and it made you shiver. You shouldn’t think about that right now, because you were angry and just wanted your damn ring back. You were pacing the room, when he came in.
“Hiya, sweets.” You glared at him with narrowed eyes. “Don’t sweets me. I want my ring back.” He glanced down at his hand and held it out in front of him with a smirk on his lips. “This ring?” You caught the silver shine of your ring on his pinky. He twisted it around and you huffed. “My ring, asshole. Do you really need proof that you fucked a virgin?” His eyebrows shot up. “That’s some hell of a mouth for a virgin.” You rolled your eyes and damned yourself to hell for your body’s reaction to his voice. You ignored the growing dampness in your underwear. “I was a virgin, not a fucking nun.” He chuckled darkly and you sucked in a sharp breath at the sound. “I didn’t want to be another notch, Steve, and I definitely don’t want to be a prized passion to remind yourself of your feat.” He twirled the ring again. “Who said you were a notch?” You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. The music was loud but muted slightly through the door and you could feel the bass in your entire body. “Literally half the campus.” “And that’s believable?” “Yes.” You cocked a brow at him and extended your hand. “My ring, please.” “At least you know how to ask nicely.” He hummed for a moment. “What’s in it for me, Y/N?” “Oh, my God, are you fucking kidding me?” You threw your arms out in frustration. “You need something in return for something you stole?” He chuckled again and leaned against the door. “Sweetheart, I didn’t steal anything. You left it here, and finders keepers and all that.” You laughed mirthlessly. “You’re actually a real piece of shit, you know that captain?” You knew it would get a rise out of him to call him that. He hated it. “Stop that, you know I hate it.” “Give me my ring.” “I don’t think I will.” He twirled it again. “It’s a nice reminder of the girl, who seemingly had the best time of her life with me.” You scoffed. “You really think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” He tilted his head. “Do enlighten me.” He grinned again and you wanted to remove his dick and make him choke on it. “You…” You glowered. “I don’t want to talk to you for longer than necessary, so can I please, just have my fucking ring back?” “No.” “What the fuck, Steve?” “No, what the fuck, Y/N?” He pushed off the door and stalked to you, towering over you. Your breath hitched. “You left in the middle of the night…” “It was six in the morning, but okay…” He ignored you. “Didn’t leave a number, not even a fucking thank you Steven for the most mindblowing night of my life, and you come back here and act all pissy with me, because I wear a ring, I found in my bedroom? You’ve got some nerve, you brat.” “I’m not a fucking brat. You’re an asshole, and I really am not in the mood be here, much less entertain this conversation with you.” He smiled predatorily at you and bent his head a little. “What? You got scared, little girl? After I fucked you stupid, you got scared that I’d what, brag about it to everyone? Let everyone know what a good, little whore you were?” You gaped at him. The fucking nerve. “And you come back here, act like a spoiled brat, can’t even look at me, and think I’m just, what, going to hand the fucking ring back over?” He yanked it free from his finger, and you saw the faint outline of it on his thick finger. “Here, take it. It wasn’t something I kept to show off, just FYI.” He looked slightly pained now. “I kept it, because it was the only thing, I had to remind me of you.” You scoffed and took the ring from him, ignoring your heart thudding wildly against your ribs. “Fuck you, Steve. You knew you could ask Bucky, Joaquin, Sam, Wanda or Nat and they’d probably give you my number. You could’ve asked around. You didn’t care, and you still don’t, because you never do. That’s at least what your previous conquests have said. Loudly, I might add.” You said, pushing the ring back on your finger.
It was funny, it felt almost foreign on you now.
“Oh, shut the hell up. You’d rather listen to girls, who spent a night in here than stay behind to get to know me? You’re stupider than I thought I made you.” He laughed angrily, his eyes burning holes into you. “I wanted to get to know you, Y/N, and you disappeared because you were scared and confused, and instead of handling it like a big girl, you ran off.” He frowned. “And here I thought you were a smart girl, Y/N.” He stood to his full height and gestured to the door. Tears were burning in your eyes as you strode to the door. “I didn’t tell anyone, you know. Just for the record, I easily could’ve, but I didn’t.” “Oh, so because you had opportunity to tell and didn’t, you’re commendable?” You asked, your back turned to him. You hated to admit it, but it did make you feel a little more at ease. He groaned. “Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t say anything to you? You’re so damn defensive, it’s honestly heartbreaking.” “You’re a dick, Steve.” You turned to look at him and smiled at him with as much venom as you could. “Go find another hole to fill, you seem to do that very well.”
It was the wrong thing to say, because his eyes flared up and in a single stride, he was in front of you, pushing the door closed again and caged you with his arms. “Don’t you fucking try me, Y/N.” You glared at him. “I already did, thanks.” He growled and got close enough for you to feel the tip of his nose brush against yours. “You’re skating on thin ice, right now.” He glared at you, and you tried your best to not squirm, because his damn body this close to yours made you feel tingly. “Fuck you. I got what I wanted, so did you, clearly, so let’s leave it at that.” He didn’t like this. “Oh my God, Y/N!” he rolled his eyes. “You’ve got some fucking nerve, coming into my room and acting like I did you a disservice or some shit, because you decided to believe rumors.” His lips turned up in a dangerous smile and his eyes glinted. “You sure as hell didn’t have a problem with it at Halloween. My… Reputation.” You bit your lip. “Actually, you seemed pretty happy about the fucking reputation, because, and Ill quote you: That just means experience, which I need.” “Well…” “No, don’t try to get out of this one. In fact, I’m pretty sure that if I just slid my fingers down…” His fingers slid from the door to your waist, slowly sliding down to your absolute asshole of a pussy, who was – indeed – soaking through your underwear. He hissed when he felt it, and your hips bucked. “Hm. What do you have to say to that, Y/N?” you couldn’t say anything, not really, because his stupid fingers were rubbing circles on your clit through the damp fabric, and your brain was malfunctioning. “So quiet… Did I already make you so fucking dumb, huh? All you needed was my fingers?” You moaned when he pushed against your entrance through the fabric. “Tell me. You want this?” He asked, his lips grazing your neck. Fucking hell.
“Yes.” You mumbled. He snapped to face you again, pressing harder against you. “No, I need clear words, baby. Do you want this?” He asked again, now moving his fingers to the elastic of your panties, his fingers dipping inside. “Yes! Fuck, yes!” you said quickly, when his fingers found your clit. It was all he needed.
He growled and removed his fingers, lifted you from the ground and threw you back on his bed, before he descended hungrily on you. The kiss was angry and full of teeth and tongue, but fuck, it felt good. He groaned against you, pulling the elastic on your panties and letting it fall back with a snap. “Get these off.” You rolled your eyes but did it as soon as he stood up from the bed to remove his own clothing. You quickly removed your panties along with your dress, chest heaving, and your entire body shuddered at the look, he sent you. Steve climbed on the bed and kissed you again, his fingers finding their previous spot on your clit and dipping inside of you. You gasped at the intrusion, and your back arched, allowing him to catch your nipple with his lips. “Fuck, it feels good to have my fingers in you again, baby…” He moaned around your nipple and sped up. How on earth, he managed to coax you to near an orgasm already, you didn’t understand, but you were barely breathing, and your legs shook. “Come on, baby, tell me…” His teeth tugged on your nipple, and you mewled. “Am I who you think about when you’re alone in bed… Touching yourself, huh?” He sped up and curled his fingers. “Y-yes… shit, yes…” You moaned. All pretense of being unaffected by him or not thinking about him was long gone. “Good girl… You want to cum?” He asked, licking wet trails on your breast. “Please…” You breathed it out, and in the same moment, he stilled. “Earn it.” Fuck him. “Wh-what?” you gasped, his fingers still in you and a shit-eating grin on his lips. “Earn it, baby. Apologize.” He kissed you again. “Tell me what you’ve thought of me doing to you, when you’re all alone, touching yourself like this…” He moved his fingers slowly and stopped in the same second as a stuttering moan fell from your lips. “Fuck you.” You mumbled. “Later.” He grinned. “Come now, kitten, speak up.” You groaned and caught his eyes; he was enjoying it. “I’m… Oh…” He twitched his fingers. “I’m s-sorry!” You cried. He moved slowly now, steadily drawing you nearer the edge again. “I’ve… Fuck… I-I’ve thought of you fucking me…” You said, and despite your haze of lust, you still felt your cheeks heat up. “I’ve imagined you fucking me so hard, I couldn’t walk…” “Oh, atta girl.” He mumbled, fingers moving faster now. “But… I-I couldn’t make myself, fucking shit, m-make myself cu-um…” You moaned loudly again. “Because my fingers weren’t enough… Please, S-Steve, I just want to…” “You can cum, pretty girl.” He sped up and attacked your nipple again, and you came undone; his fingers moved so fast and perfectly against every spot, that made you see stars, you wouldn’t have been able to hold back, even if you tried. You screamed as you came, grabbing his bare shoulders roughly, crescent moons indented in his skin form your nails, as he fucked you through your orgasm. “Good girl, look at you… making a mess of me, aren’t you?” he chuckled. “Remember last time, baby?” You nodded and couldn’t help the smile on your lips. “Eager, huh? Come and get it, then.” He moved away from you and flopped down on his back, his large, veiny cock protruding from his body. You nearly drooled at the sight. “Make it nice and wet for me, baby…” He whispered. Yes, sir.
You slowly licked a long stripe along the underside of him, flattening your tongue as you reached a sensitive spot right under the head, and slowly sucked him into your mouth. He tensed up and hissed as you took more and more into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks and allowed him deeper. When he hit the back of your throat, you bobbed your head slightly, getting a feel of him, your jaw already aching – he was big, but you were determined to impress. You knew you had some skill. You gagged around his length as you forced him deeper, spit drippling from your mouth to the bed, and he moaned, and his cock twitched in your throat. “Such a good fucking whore, huh, Y/N? Taking me so deeply… Shit…” He moaned again and your lips stretched into a smile around him, before you began moving for real this time – you picked up speed, now feeling pretty confident in the fact, that you weren’t going to throw up all over him, and he met your movements with small thrusts. “Baby… Fuck, you need to… ah… Baby girl, you n-need to stop, sweetheart… I don’t want to… Fuck…” his hand went to your hair and pulled you gently from his cock, and you let it go with a loud pop, his cock bouncing back against his stomach. “Did I do good, daddy?” you asked with wide eyes. “Oh, fuck, you’re dangerous, baby.” He grinned, and pulled you to his side, turning your back to him. “You think it’s wet enough for you?” You moaned as a response. “Do you think you’ve earned it, baby?” He whispered, his lips ghosting against your shoulder. I swear to everything that’s real, Steve, if you don’t…” You didn’t get to finish your sentence, because he pushed slowly inside of you. You gasped and hissed at the stretch, although it wasn’t unwelcome. When he bottomed out, you both sighed. “It’s like you were fucking made for me…” he mumbled, more to himself than to you. You moaned. “Move, Steve…” You gasped. “Baby, I gotta let you adjust, or…” “Don’t. Just… Fucking take me.” You moaned, grabbing the hand that rested on your hip and dragged it to your chest, letting his fingers tug on your nipple. He moved and began dragging his cock against your walls – spooning you, he managed to get even deeper than you could’ve imagined him being and you rolled your hips to meet him. It was intimate, and way more than you thought him to be, but he buried his face in the crook of your neck and sped up, fingers intertwining with yours over your breast. “You feel fucking amazing… Fuck, I’ve dreamt of being inside of you since Halloween…” He groaned and slammed his cock inside of you, working faster and faster. You were shaking around him, your walls pulsing and dragging him further in. “You’re taking me so well, baby…” That did you in. you came with a shout, your body tensing up and your legs shaking, while he fucked you deeply; it felt as if you had been lit on fire, but you didn’t mind it at all. It almost hurt, but you wanted more from him – it was addictive. “Fuck, Steve!” You shouted his name, and he moved his hand from your chest to your mouth, holding you tightly as he fucked you with ferocity. “Shh, baby, you don’t want anyone to hear you get fucked like… ah… Fuck, by me, do you?” Honestly? You couldn’t give a rat’s ass right now. You’d let your pastor hear you, for all you cared, because you wanted everyone to know that he did this to you. “Oh, you like that, don’t you? You want people to hear you get fucked…” He pushed further inside of you, and you saw stars, mewling at the pressure. His speed was stuttering, his grip over your mouth tightening. “Fucked by me, huh? That nice, little, pretty… fucking hell… Girl, getting fucking split open by my cock?” He moaned in your ear, and you were barely hanging on by your fingernails at this point. “Fuck, baby, I’m going to…” He groaned and sped up. “one more, baby, one more for me… I need you to cum for me… I need to feel it, baby, please…” His fingers left your mouth and traveled to your clit, where he began rubbing determined circles on it, sending sparks of pleasure through your body. “Ste-eve… Oh my god…” You whined and when he bit down on the sensitive skin at the juncture of your shoulder and neck, you lost control completely. You came with a shriek, your body tensing and toes curling, wetness gushing from you; your heart was thumping wildly in your chest, and the orgasm felt like it had shattered you, put you back together and tied you up with Steve.
“Fuck!” He grunted and pulled out of you, shooting hot spurts of cum on your hip and ass, painting you with white. You moaned at the feeling and his sweaty forehead fell back against your shoulder, as you both caught your breaths. “I’ll get you a towel, hang on.” “Mhm…” You didn’t have the capacity to answer, simply too blissed out. He left for what felt like a second with a damp towel and began cleaning you up. You turned to your back, when he threw the towel on the ground and settled next to you, drawing lazy circles on your stomach, goosebumps appearing, where his fingers traveled.
“You know, I, uh… I really didn’t want you to leave the last time.” He said slowly. You turned to face him and was surprised at the softness and shyness that graced his features. “I thought that was just your… M.O.” You replied, equally as soft. He shook his head and kissed your shoulder. “Maybe it used to be. I, uh, yeah… I’ve had a thing for you for a while.” He confessed. “What?” “Yeah. Ask Bucky, he’s about to explode with my Y/N this and Y/N that.” He chuckled. “I felt ridiculously lucky to have you in my bed that night, especially since it was a first for you… And when I woke up alone the next morning, I just… Yeah.” You could feel the disappointment seep from him and instantly felt guilty. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have a thing for you, too, you know.” You smiled. “I… I was scared. Your reputation does exceed you, Steve. I was sure I was going to be another virgin, you’d added to the collection, and when I saw you wear my ring…” “It’s a purity ring, right?” He asked. You nodded and slowly removed it from your finger. The music from the party had changed to a slow How can you mend a broken heart by Al Green, which seemed fitting for the moment, and you slid the ring back on Steve’s pinky. “We can make it a promise ring instead.” “Oh?” He looked down at it with the softest eyes, you had ever seen. It was like you had given him the most precious thing on earth. “Mhm. A promise that I won’t run out on you again, and that I wasn’t just another piece to your collection.” “I’ve never even been with a virgin before you.” Your eyes widened. “But… Julia said…” “Julia Becker?” He laughed and cupped your face, kissing your nose. “She’s just angry I didn’t want her. I promise you, my reputation is literally just rumors. I don’t want or need anyone else.” You sighed – an invisible weight had been lifted from your shoulders, a weight, you didn’t even know you carried around. “So… You want to stay here?” He asked, kissing you again. “What about the party?” “Fuck the party. I honestly don’t give a shit about it. I’ve got you, right?” He asked earnestly. “Yeah, you got me.”
 When you came into the kitchen the next morning, wearing Steve’s t-shirt (that fit you sort of like a dress, that giant man) and your hand secured in his, both of you smiling like idiots, Bucky and Sam both gaped at you, before Bucky hit Sam on the arm.
“I told you it was Y/N!” “But… She has taste, Buck. Steve is not taste, Steve is… Unsalted peanuts.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Fuck you too, Sam. Anybody making coffee, or does my girl have to go without her morning dose of brain-juice?” You grinned. “Y/N, have you been brainwashed?” Bucky asked with a sly grin. “Shut the fuck up, Barnes.” Steve grunted, but you could feel the pride rolling off of Steve as he pulled you tightly. “Seriously, does he have something on you to force you into this? Is he calling you something that you don’t want to get out?” Bucky scrunched up his nose. “Because I literally can’t understand what you are doing with that jerk.” Steve shrugged and winked at you. “Well, she calls me daddy, so…”
You both laughed at the boys gagging.
 -------------------
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httpstes · 2 years
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˚୨୧⋆。˚ ⋆astro observations ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
Links to other Astrovations: Astro Observation ll, Astro Observation lll, Astro Observation IV, Astro Observation V, Astro Observation VI
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୨୧ Taurus mixed with cancer in the big three is imo the most chillest yet elegant placement. These the types of people that can easily ground you and calm you down in high stress or extremely formal situations. They ease the formalities at events and what not. Not to say they don’t have class which they 100% do but it’s not in a overarching, strict punctual way yk? They’re classy and sophisticated but in a soft comfy way.
୨୧ Sag moons will forever (including all sag placements tbh 😭) be my number one favourite placement. Now i don’t have much fire in my chart or maybe it’s my pisces moon i literally do not know but I LOVE THESE BITCHES SO MUCHH. My sag moon family members and friends are like a teacher/friend and confidant all wrapped in one. They can be blunt depending on the rest of the chart but truly most of the ones I’ve met aren’t as "harshly blunt" as i’ve seen them portrayed. These people will explain things in detail about random topics they are interested in and they sound so fucking smart omh. I admire their optimistic and carefree attitude sm, they know how to give good advice and can unconsciously inspire others to do things they could never imagine doing.
୨୧ Libra rising and taurus rising go hand in hand honestly and it’s the two rising signs i see together a lot compared to other dual planetary ruled signs like virgo & gemini, aries & scorpio ect. I’ve just seen so much love (platonic and romantic) being shared between this duo. They have a natural understanding of eachother and despite having different approaches to things they both surely share a love for beauty, romance and everything nice in life. I also noticed these duos rarely fight, maybe it’s the venusian energy between them 🤷‍♀️
୨୧ Moon-Venus harsh aspects i’ve noticed either have commitment issues or attachment issues no in between 😭 A close friend of mine has this and he’s told me multiple times how hard it is to actually fall for someone as he doesn’t want to deal with the pain of the relationship and he also just finds it gross in general LMAOO
୨୧ Virgo placements, moon and venus in particular, are so thoughtful and caring. When they go out they buy you random things they think you need and check up on you to see how your doing and if you need help with anything, they remind you they are always there. This however I feel only applies to virgo placements close friends unless afflicted. As these people are picky and won’t give out their time and energy to everyone who comes by.
୨୧ Jesus christ i love capricorn moons but man how much emotional baggage are yall carrying ?!? Fr these mfs are so strong for not having given up yet. They at least have one thing that keeps them going to help them get up in the morning and prepare for a new day. They seem to hate failing and like getting credit when they believed they deserve it for the hard work they have put in. Capricorn placements get up after every fall, and despite how hard times can get they always find a way to push through. I admire you guys sm.
୨୧ Okay i’m practically complimenting myself with this one but ik it’s true 😭 If you are an earth rising or have water in the third house YOU HAVE NICE HANDS. Now i always knew my hands were somewhat nice, i mean i never rlly thought of them that much LMAO. But ever since i started highschool i be getting compliments left and right about them hand structure or what not. But yea water in third = nice hands.
୨୧ Leo risings win the lottery for being pretty and feeling good about the envious looks other people give them. These people are BLESSED with good looks and whether conventionally attractive or not, i’m telling you there is always something about Leo risings that make you turn twice to look back at them.
୨୧ Pisces placements, Moon-Neptune, Moon in 12th are prone to addiction. I know that’s been said a lot on here but from experience and looking at half my friend groups chart bc for some reason we all have pisces moons, it’s true. Now addiction is not always drugs and alcohol. I’ve noticed in some and of course depending on other placements can be addiction to daydreaming, (which again is another stereotypical pisces thing) perfectionism and over working. These things all distract us from our thoughts or mundane everyday life, whatever it may be, pisces placements are definitely prone to addiction of all forms.
୨୧ Venus in second house may be known for their beauty or be physically attractive. Something about these people is magnetising, from their movements to the way they speak, they are very captivating people.
୨୧ Venus in the 3rd, 10th, 8th is similar but with Venus in the 3rd, most of it has to do with their voice, the way they communicate and how their mind works. Venus in the 8th is also just as captivating but in a more mysterious dangerous way. Venus is comfortable in the second house but when it moves to the 8th it is exploring unknown waters. People with Venus in 10th house are known for their beauty. Whether they become famous for it or not, it may not be a prize winning talent but their physical appearance is definitely acknowledged by others.
୨୧ Aries moons are the most motivating people i’ve ever met. They encourage others with such passion and without even realising it. I look up to these people and they push me to work harder. Something else I like about this placement is that they tell things as it is. They don’t beat around the bush and when they tell the truth they tell you because they want the best for you. Ily guys
୨୧ I’ve heard a lot about venus-asc but sun/moon-venus are just wow. Sun-venus esp the conjunction present their beauty to the world, it’s glamorous and gold and everyone is infatuated with their energy. Moon-venus on the other hand has a more silent type of beauty. It’s definitely there you can see it but it’s not as loud as sun-venus. It’s once the moon-venus let’s you in that you will see the beauty that shines from within and suddenly they’re the most gorgeous to ever exist.
୨୧ Moon in tenth house regardless of what sign it’s in are hustlers. They have ambition and goals that they want to complete and while those goals may vary from long-term success or short-term goals that they have, they put in hard work equally for both.
୨୧ Gemini risings are some of the funniest people I’ve ever met. They can adapt to anyone’s personality and can easily connect with anyone. They make friends easily too.
୨୧ Capricorn and Aquarius in a chart can make someone come off as socially awkward or kind of standoffish but they can really get deeply enveloped with conversations and actually listen to what your saying. They take in the words and remember it. I’d literally kiss ass to be in the presence of these people, the way they carry themselves and the way they walk is so attractive 😭
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This is my first actual astro observations post so yay >:)
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rrenzwrld · 4 months
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secreto de amor VI
chapter 6! chapter 5 here
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after that night, you started to think about your brother’s best friend a lot more than you were. you didn’t know if it was because he almost kissed you or if it was because of him being around all the time. but little did you know, he was also thinking about you at an alarming rate as well.
you came back from work that afternoon to jean, connie, and another dude conversing on the couch. you spoke and greeted everyone like you were raised before going to your room. you changed out of your clothes and took a shower before putting on some lounge clothes.
“yeah, like he’s okay i just don’t know why he keep talking to me.” you and your friend, tia were talking about what happened that night because she asked if you actually went to the party.
“he literally almost kissed you and you don’t know why he’s talking to you. he wanna fuck girl!” you were surprised you didn’t think of that sooner and it made a lot more sense than believing that he just wanted to be your friend.
“i can believe that.”
“but isn’t he jean’s friend?”
“yeah, which is why he can’t entertain me too much. jean will kill him.” before your friend could respond, there was a knock at your door
“who that?”
“i don’t know. but imma call you back, probably just jean.” you hung up and open the door to see connie instead.
“hey.”
“hey.. can i help you?”
“i wanna talk to you about friday.” connie invited himself in and closed the door behind him.
“why.. what happened friday?”
“don’t play dumb, y/n. you don’t remember?” you remembered, you just wanted to forget.
“okay, i remember. but why do you? i’m sure you just got what you needed from someone else after that.” you had to admit, you were a little hurt to think that connie was just being nice to you because he wanted to get in your pants, but isn’t that what most guys do?
“what you mean?”
“i don’t wanna be a fuck buddy, connie—“
“whoa, where did you get that from?”
“you don’t just wanna talk to girls because you wanna be their friend. i’m sure you only want one thing and i can’t give that to you.” connie sat on the bed and tried to hold your hand but you snatched it.
“wait hold on— you don’t believe that i genuinely wanna get to know you? just because?”
“no.”
“what do i gotta do?”
“what?” you turned to him.
“to prove that i’m not lying. to prove that i wanna know more about you.” you liked this small gesture but you still didn’t know how serious he was.
you sighed and got up from your bed to lead him towards the door.
“ask my brother. he’ll tell you anything you wanna know—“
“but i wanna know it from you. everything.” you never cared about how expressive his eyes were but all of a sudden they were the most interesting in the world and it was getting difficult to not give in. but you ended up doing it anyway. bad decision number two, and you wondered how many you’d make from now on.
“okay. but nothing else.”
“what if there is something else?”
“like?”
“if you fall in love.“ and there you were, already regretting everything you said.
“if i fall in love? you should make sure you don’t fall in love, sir.”
“oh i already—“ connie was cut off by the sound of jean calling his name.
“bitch ass.. i’ll see you later tho.” you nodded before closing the door.
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zombholic · 2 years
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we can't go M.I.A. you the only person who actually posts😭
imagine vi getting jealous
just
imagine it
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𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐒 𝐕𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐄𝐓
𝘷𝘪 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮 ����𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳
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vi would get jealous over everything and anything, doesn’t matter when or where.
if she sees another woman be to flirty with you she’ll waltz right up to you and tongue kiss you in front of her.
she’s gotten into many fights with others for being too flirty with you, she’s broken a lot of faces and does not regret it.
vi follows you everywhere, she doesn’t like when you’re wandering off around zaun without her for multiple reasons.
when you two are at the last drop she constantly has her arm wrapped around your waist or is hugging you from behind, you not knowing that she’s literally burning holes into anyone that looks your way.
whenever you wore a lets say skimpy outfit she would deadass wear her big thanos arm thingy, she was not about to let ANYONE breathe the same air as you.
it never bothered you how easily jealous violet would get, it only made you love her more.
vi was not only easily jealous but she was very protective of you, if vi was a dog breed she’d be a dobermann, PROVE ME WRONG.
she constantly has you sitting in her lap, arms around your waist, small kisses getting planted on your neck, she loved showing you off but she hated the crowd.
one time a drunk decided to grope your ass, vi was of course in arms view literally came SPRINTING and broke this mans hands, face, teeth, ear bone if theres even a bone in the ear, you name it, she broke it.
sometimes you liked to push her little pink buttons and wear a short shirt in public around her.
“stop moving so much” pinkette basically growled in your ear from behind you, pulling your skirt down to cover your ass “i’m dancing violet” you rolled your pretty doe eyes at her, teasingly riding your skirt up again as she continued to pull it down “i’m gonna make you a sobbing mess when we get outta here cupcake” a sharp slap coming in contact with your ass “you’re too soft for that my love, you can try.”
mmm lets say you were basically abused the whole night in only your skirt.
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A/U: good god i need to make longer headcanons i swear, I HOPE U LIKED THIS MOOT <33
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avidfics · 2 years
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Meeting Vi
A/N: I literally love Vi and made this account after watching Arcane. This is kinda a slow burn.
Summary: You get to meet your crush, Vi, for the first time, but she thinks you’re a bad influence on her sister. 
Warning: cursing, some simping 
Word Count: 2.1k 
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The wind whipped across your face as you rode through the busy streets of Zaun at night.
“What happened to you promising a fun night with absolutely zero explosions!” You shouted at Jinx, whose arm was bleeding out from where she sat on the motorbike behind you. 
She, on the other hand, was acting as if she wasn’t bleeding profusely. Instead, she used the sides of the bike to stand up, making her sway from side to side. 
“I said prepare for a fun night FULL of explosions!” the she-devil let out an excited shout in the air. 
“I’m pretty sure I would’ve remembered that distinction.” You scoff to yourself. 
“Just sit still.” You plead with her as you try to not hit the many people walking. “And please explain to me why you’d rather get patched up at a gym than get a real doctor? I’m sure Silco has someone on staff.” Not that you wanted to be in the same room as the most dangerous man in Zaun. Your, already queasy, stomach lurched just at the thought. 
Jinx finally sits on the seat and lets out a dramatic sigh. “Silco would make a big whoopie doo and send a hit squad after the idiots who caused this little scrape.” Said ‘little scrape’ was still bleeding The warm blood was sticking to the back of your shirt from where she rested. “No way will I let him in on my heist, it’s my business, not his.” 
Abruptly she tries to stand and, once again, you lose control of the bike. “Those ugly bastards better hope I bleed out because they won't get a second chance!” 
“Can the mega ass-whopping be paused so we don’t crash!” Your efforts to calm Jinx down are wasted. A pole comes out of nowhere and the front wheel crashes right into it.
The bike lands on your ankle at an odd angle, but you are more concerned with Jinx. What if she landed on her injured arm-
“Great steering skills, chief.” Jinx groans out sarcastically. 
“Smart-ass”. “Well, you shouldn’t have dragged us to some back alley doctor.” 
Somehow Jinx is able to crawl from under the motorbike easier than you. “I’m just fulfilling my role as an awesome friend - “ Your eyes bug out at the audacity. “I promised a fun night so I delivered you on a silver plate to someone I know you want to have fun with.” She comically wiggles her eyes at you, who is still, lying under the bike. 
“What are you talking about -” 
Your words are cut off by angry boots slamming against the pavement toward both of you. 
“Powder, what the fuck?!” 
Without looking up, you know the owner of that voice with every fiber of your being. Your assumption proves correct when Jinx gives you a slow, shit-eating grin. Obviously, the little mischief picked up on the seismic crush you had on her sister, Vi. 
“Powder, please tell me that isn’t your blood dripping from your arm.” 
“It’s Jinx, and it’s not all my blood. Some of this belongs to the lovely gentlemen Y/N and I played with tonight.”
Vi’s vibrant pink hair whips down at you. The accusatory glare is hard to miss. You squirm under its weight but, you know her mood will change once Jinx actually shares what went down tonight with her sister. 
Subconsciously you also wanted Jinx to clear the misunderstanding because you’d hate for Vi to have a negative view of you since you’ve admired her from a distance for some time. It started when a couple of teenage thugs were spray painting obscenities on the window of your tiny bakery. Not to be underestimated, you had a small knife and a bat underneath the cash register that you were prepared to use, but then you’d have to step away from your customers. 
Just as you were preparing to take off your apron, Vi came jogging along, hoodie pulled over her head, sleeves bunched at her elbows, and wraps circling her knuckles. The last thing you expected from a complete stranger was to take all four boys down to the ground, groaning in pain, as their paint sprays rolled away on the sidewalk. You stood in shock and watched as she lectured them for five minutes and when she finally let them go, the boys came inside the bakery and apologized. 
Those boys still come in twice a month to wash the windows and scrub the floors. 
From that day on, you monitored the sidewalk outside your shop everyday at 10 am to watch as Vi went on her morning runs. 
Jinx called you a stalker. 
Still, you never got a chance to talk to her and it had been eating you up inside. Even now, as she stood less than four feet away from where you still sat on the pavement, scolding Jinx for her recklessness, her proximity was sending your stomach in turmoil.
Being this close to the boxer made your lungs constrict in a panic. Her wide, determined stance with both arms crossed over her chest in a way that made it hard not to notice her well-defined muscles. Just seeing the way her black tank top clung to her made you want to send a prayer of thanks to the heavens for the high temperature.
God, you were no better than a dude. You were supposed to be worried over Jinx, not lusting over her sister. 
“Jinx, head inside the gym. There’s someone inside who can patch you up. I’m going to speak to your friend.”
The troublemaker herself rolls her eyes but not before sending you an over-the-top wink. “Sure, you two spend some time being ‘friendly’. Maybe invite Y/N over for a sleepover while you’re at it” 
Fuckin Jinx! You wanted to be more upset, but you finally were going to have a conversation with Vi. 
“Hi, I’m-”
“Not interested.” The cutoff was a slap to the face. “I only want you to tell me what is Silco trying to use Jinx for now. Don’t look confused, I know you are a low-level thug for Silco. So what? Is he giving you a paycheck if you convince Jinx to mess with gangs on the east side?” 
Vi was totally heated; somehow it was turning you on. It wasn’t your fault! She stood over you with full attention on you, a snarl on her beautiful lips. 
You shake away the nervousness you had about talking to Vi to try to make sense of what she was saying. “First, I’m no one’s low-level thug, I mean I had skill. Second, I have no clue what you’re talking about.”  It sucked that you were still sitting underneath the bike so try standing up, but your ankle wasn’t having it. A sharp pain shot up from your ankle and sent you back to the ground where you started. This might’ve been the most embarrassing moment of your life. 
You sheepishly peek up at her. “Mind giving me a hand before we continue?” 
One bandaged hand extends down. You have a slight hesitancy, but you place your clammy hand in hers, and that heated warmness returns to your stomach as she grapes your hand in a punishing grip. In a move so fast you miss, Vi yanks your shoulder forward to encroach in your space. Her steel boot finds footing on the bike. Ever so slowly, she steadily adds pressure as it presses into your injured ankle. 
Renewed pain burns through your ankle. A startled scream chokes in your throat. 
You look up at Vi, incredulous that she would be this violent to you, and what you see back makes you freeze. Vi is kind, gentle, and a tad sarcastic, but she is also protective. No matter how hard you tried to yank your hand away, she kept yours in a vise, squeezing so hard her arms flexed. You can’t help biting your lip because it was kinda hot. 
“Shit, what’s your issue!?” Her foot remains constant on the bike. The struggle against her was futile and damning because you had never noticed the cut on her lip before. There was an intense urge to lean up a few inches to run your tongue along it. 
Your blatant simping, unfortunately, does not go unnoticed. Vi’s gray eyes had followed yours, bringing that hardened smirk back to her lips. 
“Focus darling.” Literally swooning, while being stepped on, a new low. “Everyone knows you work for Silco, so tell me, why are you using Jinx to steal equipment from gangs?” she asks, followed by another intense press of her foot into your injury. 
Crap, this was not how you wanted to meet Vi. She was treating you like one of those mischievous boys who spraypainted your bakery and it was pissing you off. “Ow! What part of I don’t know don’t you understand? I worked for Silco, as in, PAST tense. Which, hello, everyone’s sister or brother has in some way or another worked for that maniac. I’m a freaking baker now, my only scheme is trying to pay less for sugar and flour. I’m freaking retired and your sister knows this but somehow she roped me into helping her a few times as a getaway - I have a soft spot for that crazy girl.” 
You manage to wrestle a small knife from your waistband and tap it against Vi’s side. “I don’t plan on snitching about Jinx’s plans, now get the fuck off of me so I can check on Jinx.” You dig the blade a smidge deeper. 
Vi doesn’t hide her surprise look at you pulling a knife on her. Her shock doesn’t last for long as she smiles, almost looking proud. “Looks like the baker has some edge. Sweet and then sour.” Her smile disorientates you for a second, and that’s all she needs. Her free hand covers your hand that grips the knife. “You seem scared, kitten. Do you know how to use it?” Her thumb gently rubs against the pulse at your wrist. 
Your breath shutters as you exhale. “Let go of my hand and you’ll find out.” Secretly you hope she doesn’t call your bluff. Vi wasn’t your favorite person at the moment but you didn’t want to harm her. 
Seconds tick by as Vi’s eyes don’t leave yours. Until they do and they go down, lingering at where your v-neck shirt had dropped down, exposing more of your cleavage than you normally show. 
You shake your hand from Vi’s to readjust your shirt. 
Vi awkwardly clears her throat and places her hands in her pockets as if she suddenly became self-conscious. “Let’s get this bike off of you.” The harsh Vi is gone in a cloud of smoke and the Vi you recognize arrives, but which one is the real Vi? 
With one hand she lifts the bike up and puts down the kickstand. She gently lifts you up next, despite your protest. “Let me help walk you inside.”
“First you cause my injury and then you want to make it better?” You shake off out of her hold, completely peeved.
“Cupcake, sloppy motor skills caused your injury -” you let out an irritated sigh. “However, I sure didn’t help it heal. Sorry?” She ducks her head down to give you an apologetic grin. Your heart skips too much to give a reply so instead, you offer her your arm so she can help you limp inside the gym. But Vi must’ve had other plans because she bends until her knees touch the concrete, and looks up expectedly. 
“I’m protective of Jinx because she’s the only family I have, but sometimes I go too far. I know Jinx considers you a friend so I am sorry for hurting you.” A gentle hand tugs on your calf. You let out a startled yelp and feel your face heat at how close her face is to the tops of your jean-clad thighs. Her neck is angled straight back to look at you with puppy eyes. “Let me take care of you to show how sorry I am.” 
You literally stop yourself from moaning. Vi had a way of making every nerve feel alive and buzzing like a live wire. You believed that she was just looking out for her sister, but you still were going to sulk for a bit. 
“Fine.” You wobble around to her back and wrap your arms around her neck. “I don’t want to hear a peep if I’m too heavy.”
A playful pinch on your thigh makes you let out an embarrassing giggle. “Cupcake, I could give you a piggyback ride all week.”
You tried not to think of other kinds of ‘rides’ as she carried you inside the gym. 
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ilyuu · 7 months
Text
update!
get ready folks this is a rollercoaster of emotions but uh, just to put this out here, it isn’t exactly good news
alright, so i think i’m gonna go ahead and quit writing for this blog. yeah, not exactly the best start to this - you think as a writer i’d know what words to use.
before anything - nope, i am not going to deactivate my blog, next best thing is to archive it since there’s so many memories that i like to at least keep, of my moots and of just a lot of things in general that i like to memorialize and a lot of writings and posts.
i want to keep them here because i want someone, whoever comes across it, to read whichever one and feel some semblance of comfort; that’s the main reason why i made this blog in the first place and that’s how i intend to leave it.
oh uh, yeah, for the reasons why i’m quitting, i can technically list a few :
genshin burnout : i don’t feel as strongly as i do for the game anymore, not as excited, even as fontaine was released, and stopped playing it a few months back. so, y’know, as genshin-centric this blog is, it’s technically a bit hard to try and get into something that you long lost interest for.
school : it’s catching me off-guard every time and even though i found a rhythm with my classes and schedule, it’s only asking for more of my time and, quite literally demanding. i’ll be honest and say that i can’t juggle a blog with a post every day and stay consistent with my schoolwork and what’s expected of me. i need to start thinking about my future.
spiraling thoughts : yup, you read that right; i’m back at it again with me thinking that my writing isn’t good enough and am doubting my skills as a writer as a whole, especially with my way of writing that as his poetic touch to it that’s making me wonder if it’s even worth anything at all.
with that, i think i just need to start writing for myself again because i haven’t felt that feeling for literally a while now.
have i thought about this for a while now? i have actually, somewhere in the middle of august but i was really, really hesitant for a lot of reasons.
said reasons being mainly my moots. i don’t like the ideas of leaving any of them behind at all, especially with them being the main reason why i love opening this app every day, seeing them flood my dash with everything that happened the night before, saying good morning, and seeing them in my notifs and inbox with their chaos and genuineness. i have so many memories here that i consider so dear to me because of each and every one of them, making my day and night, and… i don’t know, it’d suck to lose all of them.
@mikacynth : you were my first moot and i know i’ve mentioned and said this so many times to the point that you’d probably get sick of it but it did and does mean a lot to me knowing that you opened a door for me to meet so many others that made writing and just being on here amazing. you’re just so damn cool, creative, and nice and i’m so, so happy that i met you.
@floraldresvi : i don’t remember how i met you, and i’m so sorry for that vi, but you’re the kindest, absolutely gentle and attentive person i know and i just wonder how i ever got the chance to talk to you and be moots. i wish you nothing but the best because that’s all you deserve and more and you better keep that in mind vi.
@st0pthatsgay : this was a strangers to friends to lovers arc fr!! sorry i couldn’t help that, do you know how long i wanted to make that joke? but seriously, oli, you and your unbridled chaos and energy never fails to make my dash and quite literally everyone else who follows you like a rom-com movie or something; i’m so glad that i can call you a moot and one that i cherish so, so much.
@papiliotao : rei, you made my day whenever you drop in one of your small blurbs into my inbox and i get the space to just write whatever comes to mind; it was a little thing we had and, i don’t know, i loved it. i love it still a lot. it was like a duo we had and always made me smile with whatever we talked about, maybe just about writing in general or the cats that you always see. i’m just sorry that we won’t be able to have our wedding soon. really.
@supernova25 : bestie, i still remember those times about the ai bots!! i still think about them a lot!! it was fun!! in general, you’re always a lot of fun to talk to, and it could be about anything and it’d fly off the roof. also your asks about the most random of things has definitely made me feel better on my worst of days just to put that out there.
@soleillunne : i’d make a joke about you running up for the title of creator of angst and all that but you’ve always been so sweet so let me just push that aside, considerate as well; don’t think i didn’t see you send me links of anything scaramouche related because i do and i appreciate that so much
@hollythius-rising : YOU AND YOUR THEME CHANGES DON’T THINK I DON’T NOTICE THEM you’re also very very sweet and chaotic when it comes to your taste in tall purple men in lab coats but we don’t talk about that aosjksjs just that it’s always been a pleasure to talk to you whenever we have the chance to
@mondaymelon : YOU. we vibe with each other a lot like radio waves and it got me all giddy, and i’d just drop a lot of memes into your inbox just so i could see how you’d react only for you to give me a taste of my own medicine when you do the same thing 100 times more effectiveaisjsjs
@venusflwers : those late nights of playing roblox with you makes me feel so, so happy, you have no idea. it’s filled with crack with whatever you say and you somehow make a horror game feel like some comedy instead i swear; you’re literally the most unhinged and funniest person i met and i love that about you so much
@kazumist : it’s like a parent watching their kid grow up and then completely surpass them in terms of height. yeah, that’s you akiaki!! always frothing over your writing, your drabbles, because it had that soft and domestic feeling to them that i absolutely love to the moon and back
@m1shapanda, @snobwaffles, @vennnnn-diagram : you three are, excuse me for my language, so fucking amazing. i always wanted to talk to you so many times and even when i did, always hoped that we could’ve talked a bit more. misha, you’re so cool and i always wanted to just ramble with you; that and your art is so pretty and soft and just so DAMN COOL did i mention that? snob, you detective, you and your curse arts that make me laugh as much as pour bleach on my eyes (/j), you’re just so supportive and i really like that about you. ven, i wished we could’ve talked a lot more too with how just vibe with everyone so quickly and easily - you’re just as amazing, really.
and to all of my other moots, the same goes to you, even with the ones i didn’t talk to as much - just being moots with you, knowing that someone liked me like i liked them made me feel more belong on here and more a part of something. i’ve never been a part of something like this, and know so many people and to know that i mean something to them? yeah, that really, really means a lot to me.
i’d probably just be a lurker on here than anything… haven’t really thought that far, only that i know that i can’t stay on here any longer without feeling guilty, burdened, stressed, or all of the above. or maybe just start off as a smaller blog again without any sense of obligation because ever since i’ve hit 500, which was a while ago, that’s what this blog started to feel like with each bit of time that passed.
i’ve enjoyed it, of course i did, don’t get me wrong! i’ve just been enjoying it less than i did when i started off, that feeling of accomplishment and joy and pride at myself numbing a bit more with each milestone i passed. that’s just all me though, i’m sure.
anyways, not right now though, maybe just around the weekends when i actually have time to spare. so, until then, i’ll stick around here as much as i can. other than that, i don’t have much else to say other than thank you.
that i hope that you’ll keep doing what you love, whatever that is, despite the highs and lows. just know that the community you’re in is filled with people who love you through and through and that i do too - that you’ll do what you love because you want to, not because you should.
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