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flowercrowngods · 1 year

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in which eddie is semi-nonverbal and steve notices despite eddie’s best efforts. cuddles ensue | 1.8k

They’re hanging out at Eddie’s, just the two of them, when Steve notices it for the first time. He’s not known as the most perceptive guy ever, but he’s actually rather good at these things. And he’s starting to get good at getting a feel for Eddie, too, even though it’s made harder by his dramatics and his flourishes and all those exaggerated gestures, mimics and mood swings. Eddie is fluent in all things sarcasm and drama, both of which Steve had issues reading in the beginning but is now pretty good with.

After fighting an interdimensional monster wizard creep, nearly dying a few times and spending time together almost every day because we stick together now, Steve knows Eddie.

He’s not sure if they’re friends, exactly, but that doesn’t really stop him from knowing all of his tones, his moods, and even most of his music these days. Steve just watches. Listens. Remembers. He’s shit at talking about himself much around anyone but Robin, but he always makes a point of knowing as much as he can about his friends. And Eddie.

Which is why the sudden strain in Eddie’s voice catches him off guard. It’s not the I didn’t get any sleep last night because all I can think of is how I almost died kinda strain. Nor is it the It’s 5pm and I haven’t eaten yet and I don’t want you to find out kind. Steve still makes sure to make them sandwiches as he listens to Eddie rambling off about something or other.

And that’s the thing. Steve listens. He always does, but Eddie is rambling. And he sounds almost miserable about it. The words don’t make sense, they lack their usual enthusiasm when Eddie talks DnD or music — which, he’s doing both? There’s no connection. And when Steve turns around, sandwiches secondary to that fucking strain in Eddie’s voice, he sees that his eyes are dull. The smile forced. And he keeps talking even though his tone indicates that he’s done.

Steve frowns slightly and watches Eddie, who’s walking mindlessly, aimlessly, pacing and stopping every few seconds, looking a little lost every time he does.

The thing is, there is no reason for Eddie to talk. No point to his words. No calculation in his movement, no burning off of excess energy, no kick in his step, no stomp for emphasis.

Steve notices. He sees. He listens. And thinking back, Eddie’s reaction time to just about anything Steve said today was either close to nothing, or very delayed.

It dawns on him then, as he looks Eddie up and down, noticing the fidgeting hands, the tense shoulders, the stiff grimace of a smile. It dawns on him because he knows this look, this behaviour. Not exactly like this, but close.

He has a hunch and hopes that whatever they have built over the past weeks is strong enough for Eddie not to freak out on him over this.

“Eddie,” Steve interrupts him, and it shouldn’t be this easy. It wouldn’t be, normally, but today Eddie just shuts up immediately, mouth closed, eyes on Steve.

“Yeah?” Four seconds. That’s how long that word took.

Steve hopes the expression on his face is kind, not patronising. “You know you don’t have to do this, right?”

Eddie blinks. Swallows. Two, three, four. “Do what, Steve?” And immediately he is defensive, taking on an act because maybe that’s makes this easier for him, but even his performance is strained.

“You don’t have to talk all the time,” he says, and only realises once the words have left his mouth that they sound wrong, like he’s annoyed with Eddie’s constant babbling and needs some silence. Which he doesn’t.

Eddie scoffs before he can take it back. He scoffs, spins in a circle and sighs deeply, expertly bridging the four seconds it takes him once again to open his mouth and speak.

“Oh, that’s new! That’s new, Harrington, I’ve never heard that one before. What’s next, you gonna call me a Freak? Maybe tell me the bands I listen to aren’t music? Really sorry, man, and I hate to break it to you, but if you wanna hang out with someone who doesn’t ‘have to talk all the time’, I’m not your man!”

Even the anger seems dull, the little speech far from what it could have been, like Eddie’s brain isn’t quite there, like it doesn’t work today, like the words just won’t come and decide to leave him hanging with his failed dramatics.

Still, Steve approaches him slowly, his hands raised in a placating motion. “That’s not what I meant, and I’m sorry it came out wrong, Eds. I don’t mind your talking, you gotta believe me. But…”

How does he say this next part, this next assumption, without accidentally insulting Eddie again? Without sounding like a complete and total jackass?

“You know El, right? The one with the superpowers?”

Eddie nods.

“Well, when she came to us, she could, like, barely talk. Her vocabulary wasn’t there yet, sure, but that’s not the only reason. And now she’s made wonderful progress and her vocabulary is pretty decent, but still she gets those days where she just… She can’t talk. Or won’t. Maybe both. Sometimes both, yeah. And on some days she will, like, force herself. But I can tell when she does because she’s miserable about it and it sounds like hard labour and she’s always on the verge of tears about it. And… I don’t know, Eds, but you kinda look a lot like her now, and even if you don’t, which is fine, sorry for bringing that up, but even if you don’t have days like that, just know that you don’t always have to talk, yeah? One way or another, there’s not a price you have to pay in stories or running commentary just to be part of the group. You could never talk ever again and we’d still stick together, yeah? That’s what I meant. Sorry if that’s a jackass kinda thing to say.”

Steve hates how he’s always out there fumbling for words and can never get them to sound right. Especially now, when he needs Eddie to understand. He always needs Eddie to understand. It’s a bit of an urge lately. He just wants him to feel safe.

It’s more than four seconds now, and Steve stops counting at ten, acutely aware of the silence this time. He lets Eddie have his silence, though, leaves him room inside it.

“That’s not a jackass kinda thing to say, Steve Harrington,” Eddie says, and Steve swears he has never heard his voice in such a quiet, vulnerable tone. The quiet always helps El, too. Make all those words she can’t say a little less loud and imposing, make it all a little more okay. Not so scary.

“Good,” Steve whispers, and maybe that’s one step too far, but Eddie sags a little bit and for a moment Steve fears that he’s about to sway forward. Not that he wouldn’t catch Eddie.

“What do… How. Do you help El through it?” Small, vulnerable, confused, and Steve heart breaks a little for him.

“I do,” he says, equally quiet, smile on his face. “We always lie down somewhere because you only have to talk when you sit or stand, right? Lying down, no one can make you talk. So we lie down, she’s usually resting on top of me, and either I talk to her about, well… Anything, really. Or I shut up. Sometimes there’s music. Really, there’s many ways to get through it, but the main two things are lying down and not talking on her part, y’know?”

And the way Eddie looks at him makes Steve think that maybe they are friends, because you don’t let just anyone see you this vulnerable. You don’t look at just anyone with your big brown doe eyes like they’re opening a whole new world for you.

“Sounds great,” he croaks and that tension is back in his shoulders, so obvious that Steve wants to reach out and massage it away.

He smiles and searches Eddie’s eyes, absolutely sure of the situation now, and maybe having a cure for it. “Eddie Munson, would you like to go lie down and not talk for a while?”

Eddie stares at him as though he’s calculating the risk, as though he’s weighing his options. He could still tell Steve to go and he’d be out of here in a heartbeat if being alone is what Eddie really needs. But then he nods.

“I think maybe I do, yeah.”

“With El, I only ask her yes or no questions. You can just nod or shake your head. Okay? Don’t know if that works for you but, well, we can find out I guess. Yeah?”

Eddie nods, and Steve smiles. He goes to the kitchen area to grab the sandwiches he made earlier and then lands back right before Eddie, smile still in place.

“Not to be weird or anything, but I think this might work best on your bed. Is that okay for you? If that’s not okay, we can just lie down on the couch.”

Eddie looks back to his room, then back at Steve. He nods.

“Your bed?” Steve asks again just to make sure, and Eddie nods again.

And this is how they find themselves lying on Eddie’s bed, Eddie’s head resting on Steve’s chest. His fingers find their way into the metalhead’s locks at some point and Eddie purrs, which makes Steve laugh for a moment. He doesn’t take his hand away, though.

Steve doesn’t talk like he does with El sometimes. With Eddie, he just basks in the silence and lets the other boy soak up as much of it as he needs. There’s a smile on his lips the whole time, and he didn’t think he could smile so much around Eddie Munson, especially on one of his bad days.

But he does.

They even fall asleep like that, Eddie lying on top of Steve, cuddling into him. Steve lets him. Even the next morning when they’re both awake but not willing to break the silence yet even though Eddie looks much better already, he doesn’t make any moves to get away from Steve. He stays there, head on his chest as they both just bask in the moment.

Bask in the company.

Bask on the threshold of something just to the right of friendship. Something more.

#steddie #steddie fic #stranger things #steve x eddie #eddie x steve #i have to stop writing shit late at night it’s almost 4am send help #all those writers who write wonderfully short stories that give me all the emotions without useless words?? rip to you but i’m different 😔#(that’s me saying i wish i could be brief but what was meant to be a drabble is now 1.8k words and ugh. why am i like this)#dio words #this fic contains a lot of words for a nonverbal fic I’m such a fake fan huh #is the entire beginning of this just me projecting and could i easily cut it and have the fic be better? yes. but i don’t write to be good #i write to be a little less insane. we’re not winning yet girlies #i should read this before posting but frankly it’s almost 4am i am barely awake

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starbuck · 4 months

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if anyone was wondering, i’m currently reading published RPF about F. Scott Fitzgerald for *checks notes* my job, so that’s how my life is going.

#i’m not getting PAID to do it unfortunately #but i am getting an absolutely insane emotional experience #and i’m only three chapters in so i’m sure there’s plenty more excitement to come!#the author CANNOT write dialogue for shit… he cannot emulate how real people speak and puts exposition dumps IN the dialogue #and his descriptions are clunky and could have used some more polishing #he’s not great at showing instead of telling #or like. he IS - but he’ll show and then IMMEDIATELY tell #which is just SO disrespectful to the audience imo #and/or the sign of a lack of confidence in the writer #so bad either way #and literally the reason i was annoyed about that one movie earlier #so like. 🤷🤷#at least the movie had better dialogue #but i think that’s mainly because [redacted] just says whatever the fuck he wants #i know this because i do programs the same way - i can spot a fellow vibes-based speaker easily #it’s good but also MASSIVELY distracting because it reminds me of myself so i get self-conscious 😂😂

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milkdreamspecialmix · 7 months

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if by spamano you mean “this is a result of some kinda weird emotional baggage mixed with attraction and it’s a bit awkward because of their past and not terribly sustainable” and not “this is the one true love ride or die end game ship and they both live happily ever after” then yes

#i don’t dislike spamano jsyk #i think spamano is essential for the growth of both characters #it’s hard to just retcon or ignore whatever dynamic they’ve got going on #but i also see romano being easily connected to several other nations #with bonds healthier than the spamano dynamic #because (and please give me your opinions on this fr)#imo i think they share a strong connection but are constantly held back by their former status as what #ward and master or what have you #and that isn’t to say that i don’t think they are incapable of working past that #but i think prumano or romerica or any other number of ships are more interesting to explore for romanos emotional growth #spain just bores me i’m sorry y’all #hetalia #aph romano #aph south italy #aph spain #prumano #romerica #it’s the same reason i’m not into usuk even forgoing any discussions about being related which is more worthy in its own right #it gives me the ick to think about one’s parental figure being into you when you’ve aged up even if nations aren’t human #but that is def also something that some usuk shippers like about it so i guess it’s just not my thing #i like spamano evolving into some other ship with romano #and i know i’m not alone there are a handful of fics about exactly that #no hate to spamano shippers tho i can see the appeal

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obstinaterixatrix · 1 year

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I really like romances that highlights a complex relationship with desire. what’s that one quote. found it, it’s the siken quote that goes “the enormity of my desire disgusts me” and “there’s only one thing I want, don’t make me say it” LOVE that. it’s so fun. denial and repression and self-loathing! some of my favorite ingredients for a romance.

#time to talk the romos #it can show up in any narrative in many ways #but the way in romance it pulls another person into the process #is SOOOOO fun for me #with romance being character-focused and with the plot tied to emotional/relationship development #(when it’s done well) you get to see it in both an individual and systemic context #how it manifests in solitude and its impact on relationship patterns #how it’s masked or displayed #whether the character is aware or unaware #whether the character is trying to break these patterns or are furiously clinging to them #fight or flight lol #anyway that’s why I just ended up rotating that one single father bl in my head for so long #I feel like writing-wise I’m kind of lukewarm on it? but themes-wise it grabbed me by the throat and shook me like a rattle #the love interest’s whole thing is how at his core he wants affection but has only gotten it through dysfunctional means #because what he’s wanted has always been dismissed or rejected or minimalized for the sake of someone else #well yknow he’s an orphan and was taken in by his maternal uncle so there’s always been resentment if he does better than the ‘actual’ son #so the pattern is #starting from his cousin and his cousin’s girlfriend #is seeing affection and going ‘I want that’ and ‘stealing’ another person’s partner #and then instantly being disinterested because if it’s so easily ‘stolen’ it’s not the affection he actually wants #and since it continues outside of that context of. well essentially revenge #it just continues into solely experiencing unfulfilling relationships #so when the love interest recognizes his own interest in the main character #he’s trying to continue his cycle of ‘surely if I sleep with this person I’ll lose interest’ except by this point *that’s* the self-delusion #he’s found a person that he connects with and with whom he wants a genuine relationship #and it’s devastating to him!!!!!!#lmao I love it

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saturncodedstarlette · 1 year

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This is a perfect definition of my life atm 🙃👍🥳👏👏👏👏

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mattodore · 1 month

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okay so because previous anons asked about sex, I wanna ask about aftercare, how they act after sex? oh and i’m curious how their sex life change after being together for a while

xoxo <3

their aftercare isn't always aftercare-101, if i'm honest. theo is very bad at it and doesn't really... ever... do that for matthias. and matthias may be very good at giving aftercare but theo is incredibly resistant to it. i mentioned earlier that theo really gets off on praise, but... he also flinches away from it. he's so twisted up about so much of what he wants and he's really, uh... well. he makes it really hard to get close to him and offer comfort despite how much he desires it. matthias can't say certain things without scaring theo off (and i mean, like, theo will quite literally run away), so he has to talk around what he wants to say and what theo needs to hear to prevent theo from bolting before he can bring him down.

matthias takes a long time cleaning theo up and massaging his muscles after, and he'll hum or talk to himself in polish so theo knows he's still there touching him (but isn't stirred before he comes to himself on his own by english he can understand). when he's finished, he'll ask theo very simple yes or no questions that let matthias know how theo's feeling without outright asking how he's feeling. he also checks on theo throughout the day, but he has to be even more subtle there or theo starts to feel smothered. is your body okay? do you want me to get you dressed? does your head hurt? do you want me to read to you? he focuses on asking about the physical and what theo wants to do rather than theo’s emotions. matthias has learned that asking if theo's feeling okay after is a quick way to trigger a very, very negative response in theo. it's one of the reasons why i think matthias is constantly asking theo in the heat of sex how he's feeling, because that's when theo is so preoccupied by the physical aspect that the emotional effects leak out without him fighting to keep them in. it takes a few months for theo to get comfortable with the feelings he has after sex with him before matthias can really give him proper aftercare. that’s why the sex they have early on is never anything too crazy. matthias coaxes theo into a better place first.

i also think it’s important to clarify that it’s not like they’re always having kinky sex. still, theo usually needs physical touch after vanilla sex as well. matthias himself always craves conversation afterwards, so he waits for theo to stir awake (because he often falls asleep after sex) or come back into his body fully to talk to him.

as for changes to their sex life after they’ve been together for awhile… i believe i've talked about this before, but their sexual dynamic turns on its head after a few years. theo starts to take control of the reins and gets more comfortable asking for and doing what he wants. with theo he just has a lot holding him back and it's only after he's grown as a person and worked past a majority of his intimacy issues that he can act on the desires he's been burying waaay down. there's a sort of brattiness that theo starts to have a lot of fun with during sex—a lot of pushing and prodding, withholding, insulting... matthias is having the time of his life lmao, like he loves being challenged and pushed around. matthias takes on a more submissive role during sex as they age, which is fun for him. plus it's kind of the dynamic they've always had outside of sex anyway. of course, there are never any set roles in their sexual life so i'm not saying that it's always like that, but theo enjoys telling matthias what to do and how to do it. they have a lot of fun with it.

#river dipping #asks #anonymous #oc extras #nsft #theodore doe #matthias evanoff #a burning house to live in #echthroi #finally done..... actually patting myself on the back for being able to answer all of these in a day and a half like #normally being asked anything abt my ocs takes me forever to get to bc i just take everything so seriously #......................................exhibit a: this reply jnjhkjfnghk #my ocs are just really complicated so i feel like i have to really expand upon each new bit of information #like theo is NOT ! well adjusted in the slightest #and while matthias can read people very easily it doesn't mean that there aren't times where he messes up #theo is very closed off and he will lash out at the slightest thing that spooks him #and he also... is not really experienced in having good sex yk? so he's so bad at aftercare which i guess is like. well.#good thing your partner is someone who's used to being left to his own devices after experiencing major physical and emotional stressors #matthias can usually take himself out of a scene just because of the nature of his past...#but i think theo does pick up on what matthias does for him after awhile and he tries incorporating it into 'aftercare'#but................. i don't think he really understands what all he should be saying and doing for a few years like not until he's #domming matthias more frequently and has taken the time to look at The Internet lmao jkfjnhkjn i imagine it shocks him a bit #matthias may be good at sex but he does have his blind spots and those normally involve himself… so he never told theo that what he does #for him should be reciprocated………… additionally matthias is very much a giver not a taker #like he doesn’t expect or even really want theo to ask how he’s feeling. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need that.#….have been rereading this for the last thirty minutes idk why this is what i’m like Yikes ! about responding to 😭#whatever post ‼️ theo isn’t good at sex i’ve said it before who can be surprised he gives zero aftercare

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clueless1995 · 7 months

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american colleges are so scary to me. you guys have to share rooms??? on campus??? absolutely not i would’ve started killing too

#i don’t think i’ve been to a single uni party and i’m on my like. 7th year here #and the whole parents getting emotional sending their kids off to college is so wild i lived at home the first couple of years #my mum drove me to uni twice a week while i was living at home (VERY SWEET OF HER it was like 45 min each way and my classes were like three #hours long but i didn’t drive and the public transport system here sucks unless you live fairly central)#and now i Do live somewhere i can easily bus to campus i barely go to class skdhsjd #but yeah all of those scenes of college kids hanging out on the quad and going to mixers or whatever are so foreign to me #do not get me started of fraternities and sororities. the closest we have is like. the law society #or like. college newspapers???#i AM jealous of college radio stations though i think i would be an iconic college radio host/dj

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maddymoreau · 3 months

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Live-Blogging Fallout New Vegas Part 2

Part One: https://www.tumblr.com/maddymoreau/738944610851864576/i-spent-a-majority-of-my-time-exploring-the-top

┐(￣ヮ￣)┌ I wasn't planning to work on the Wild Card Quest yet but accidentally accomplished part of it today when entering the White Glove Society. After hearing Benny's distain and Yes Man's description of it I was VERY curious to see what it was like.

Upon entering I met a man named Heck Gunderson who not only controls the meat market but was also looking for his missing son (named Ted). I offered to help him and began investing (o´▽`o)ﾉ!

( ＾◡＾) After speaking with Majorie the head of the White Glove Society I learned A LOT!!! There's rumors that the White Glove Society consumes human meat. Something Majorie vehemently denies. She also mentions a Private Investigator who is staying there and is looking for a missing woman 👀

Majorie also denies the WGS being involved in that.

She even advises me that I go speak with Mortimer the maître d' AKA her assistant. To give me access to the Private Investigator's room. Upon speaking with Mortimer I'm able to use speech to get him to admit to his involvement in Ted's disappearance and his cannibalism. Lying that I'm interested as well he gives me Ted's location and the key to the PI's room.

(╭ರ_•́) I entered the Private Investigator's room while using my last stealth boy, I grabbed the information I needed and slipped away before security could find me. It revealed he was meeting an informant at 4PM in the steam room.

At the steam room I met Chauncey an employee who revealed he helped in that woman's disappearance and provided me with info before being murdered by an assassin ( ҂` ﾛ ´)︻デ═一＼(º □ º l|l)/!!

Not wanting to get in the cross fire I slipped away then headed the kitchen area. After lying to security I THEN MENTALLY TORTURED THE HEAD CHEF NAMED PHILIPPE.

(⚆ _ ⚆) I'm not kidding. I made him remember his traumatic childhood, lied that I'd publish his cookbook and then told him I saw a radroach in his kitchen!!! All just to get him to leave.

I then prepared the recipe he had been working on, imitation human meat. While the food was being served I broke Ted out and snuck us into the party.

Mortimer wanted to trick, blackmail and manipulate the White Glove Society into eating human meat again.

However after his grand speech I revealed the truth. No one had eaten human meat that night. Mortimer then fled, I was able to stop the cannibalism situation and returned Heck's son. Along with convincing him to still do business with the White Glove Society.

Cannot tell you how many times I had to redo this Quest (even while following a guide). TED WAS SO UNGRATEFUL AND ANNOYING!!! Look what he says after being returned to his father!

Ted Gunderson: "iF YoU KNeW wHat YoU WEre dOIng I cOUld'VE BeEN oUT oF THEre HOurS AgO."

(ง ื▿ ื)ว After all that I reported to YES MAN!!!!

Majorie SUCKS just as much as Mortimer but at least she doesn't eat humans. The White Glove Society is a bunch of egotistical jerks but if they're not causing any actual harm to the people (outside overcharging for their drinks) then they can temporarily stay.

I THINK ABOUT THIS PRIOR CONVERSATION BETWEN YESMAN AND MY COURIER SO MUCH!!!

Courier: "So I should ask these tribes if they'll support an Independent Vegas?"

Yes Man: "Oh no, I didn't mean that! Who needs their support? The Securitrons will be all the support you need! What I meant is, you should get to know these tribes and decide which ones you like and which you don't! You know - shape the future of Vegas! Choose your neighbors! If you like a tribe, leave it alone! Or if a tribe is nasty or going to be a problem - go ahead and exterminate it! It's whatever you want to do!"

She's focused on evaluating who is and isn't best for her ideal New Vegas and the Securitrons. Hearing Yes Man say, "The Securitrons will be all the support you need!" makes her giddy 🥴. However she also wants to support them through her good leadership skills. After all she's CONSTANTLY criticizing the NCR and doesn't want to end up like them.

She also doesn't want to end up like Mr. House. His poor leadership let Benny easily betray him and cannibalism exist within New Vegas. HELL LEGION MEMBERS HAVE EASILY ENTERED THE STRIP!!!

#I’M NOT KIDDING WHEN I SAY MR. HOUSE EASILY COULD’VE GOTTEN MY COURIER TO BE HIS DOG.#All he had to do was three things.#1. Use her emotional attachment with Victor and the Securitrons against her.#2. Keep her out of Benny's apartment so she doesn't meet Yes Man.#3. Treat her kinder and make her feel like she's not disposable.#THAT’S ALL HE HAD TO DO YET HE STILL MESSED UP!!!#Also I did end up killing that assassin before returning Ted to his father.#My sneak is GARABGE right now so I had zero of my weapons but luckily Mortimer gave me a cattle prod which I used to defend myself.#MadisonPlaysFalloutNewVegas #Long Post #Long Text #Fallout New Vegas Spoiler #Fallout Spoiler #I'm getting more and more descriptive with these live blogs because I want to keep track of it for my self insert's lore anfdka;dckl #THIS QUEST TOOK SO LOONNNGGGGG!!!!!#I HAD TO REDO IT SO MANY TIMES TO GET THE EXACT RESULTS I WANTED!!!!#I WROTE HOW IT ALL LAID OUT IN MY SAVE FILE BUT REALISTICALLY I FAILED + DIED AND HAD REDO THIS LIKE 30 TIMES!!!!#I LOVE BEING CRINGE IN MAIN RAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

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