#I’m from Texas but I spend a lot of time in colorado

[battle-of-alberta]

For a grown man, Cal gives off spoiled brat vibes. What was he like as a kid?

[the irony being that today, calvin regularly drinks whiskey because It’s the Culture tm]

so sorry to inform you guys Calvin was assigned cop at birth u_u he didn’t spend his whole childhood in the NWMP barracks though, there was a period where he was living in a tent on the side of the road waiting for the train to show up (though that said, that might have been a bit more sanitary.)

More notes follow.

- Calvin was imbued with admiration for Toronto from a young age because the majority of the men recruited for service were originally from Toronto. His attention quickly turned south, however, the more he interacted with Americans and heard about mythical places like Denver and Chicago.

- Fort Calgary was ironically built and supplied by some of the same whiskey traders they were supposed to stamp out, shh.

- Calvin was really proud his American friends tolerated him enough to hang out with him... and is still to this day, perhaps not realizing that the others considered him “mild west” rather than wild west. During this period he mostly hung out with folks from Montana and Colorado- the relationship with Texas didn’t really get off the ground until the mid 20th century.

- It’s been a few years since I read Denny’s account of Fort Calgary but I seem to remember him commenting on having to order lots and lots of tea.

- I still think this ongoing joke that Calvin doesn’t realize Lilith and his old rival Fort Whoop Up are the same person is really funny (y’know, despite Lethbridge having an identical flag, annual Whoop Up Days, Whoop Up Drive, etc that he just assumes is a historical curiosity of hers)

- Calvin’s other siblings/cousins (not depicted) include big bro Fort Macleod and Fort Saskatchewan, among others. I’m not sure what that makes Fort Walsh... a brother/cousin who was re-animated in the 40s and never quite the same? Lol.

- The “gentlemen” Calvin comments on to Caroline are caricatures of “remittance men”, that is, a man exiled to the colonies by his family and paid regular remittances to ensure they didn’t come back and do whatever it was that got them sent off in the first place.

- “No English” was a common sentiment because of above remittance men - ‘English’ I believe was kind of a derogatory term used in both Canada and the States to refer to anyone from the cities back east who were a bit too soft for frontier life, but in the territories it could definitely refer to literal expats from England. (Tangentially related, but Prince Edward even bought himself a ranch not far from Calgary in the 1920s.)

- The events Ed and Madeline are thinking of include: one of the early visits to Fort Edmonton that I’ve referenced a zillion times (the NWMP couldn’t sleep because they weren’t used to the dogs); the 1885 Northwest Resistance which caused Calgary to panic so much that a basically useless militia was formed; when natural gas wells were discovered around Medicine Hat, Calgarians threw a fit and wouldn’t rest until someone funded a successful hunt for their own.

- (afterwards in the race for the capital, edmonton newspapers would jab at calgary’s tendency to act like a pig eating everything around it, an article which the papers in medicine hat would reprint)

#aph oc #hetalia oc #hws oc #projectcanada cities #pc: calgary #pc: bowness #pc: edmonton #pc: lethbridge #pc: medicine hat #pc: red deer #hapo art #traditional art #ink #boab ask #boab historical #comic #elaine hartley #calvin mccall #lilith sheran #edward murphy #caroline cochrane #madeline hargrave #anonymous

[tamars-runes]

06.16.2023

hey. so i haven't done this in a while, and i think it's important to keep an up to date journal. but i have a really hard time with paper. not finishing a page, or the pen being just slightly wrong, or i'm not satisfied with my own handwriting, whatever. i like to type instead. for ten minutes without stopping though? damn. 

i had surgery two weeks ago. the difference isn't as stark and clear as i'd have preferred, but you get what you get. mostly i'm excited, antsy really, to get back to work and school. to feel like a normal person again. all of my clothes (not all of them, just the ones i wear regularly tbh) are in texas with my parents, because they are bringing my car over here in a couple of weeks. i didn't really anticipate needing many of those clothes, but turns out, feeling like i can't go anywhere without them. comfort.

the past few weeks have been insane. i went to texas for like 6 days, which i know now is just simply too long to spend with my parents. we'll always get into fights and little battles, and it never goes well. my mom has been really rough on me, without her awareness obviously, but it still hurts. she criticizes what i wear, how i talk, the way i interact with people in my hometown, etc. my dad is better in the day to day, but he looked me in the face after saying that he's having a hard time using they/them, i told him he could use she/her if it was easier (i'd much prefer this) but he looked me in the face and said "eli, i changed your diapers when you were a baby. i know what you are." that one stung more than anything. the idea that he is actually incapable of changing. he literally does not have the capacity to change. to be better. to see me as i am, not as he always thought i was. my grandfather was there during that week too which was awful. he can't really grasp transition in any real way. he'll say things like "it's great to sit between my two handsome grandsons." and i KNOW he means well. i know his heart is made of gold. i know this. my parents remind me constantly. but it still stings. the only time somewhere here would say something like that to me, it's because they're trying to humiliate me, or to put me in my place. it's an emotional reaction. a knee jerk one. that isn't something they can get. 

even more wild that all of that though, my brother graduated from high school which made me brain shut down honestly. he’s supposed to still be like 13, sitting in the backseat while i drive him to school on a tuesday morning. but he's grown. he left for houston, for a summer physics program, the same time i left for mexico, for surgery, and it represents very pivotal moments in each of our lives. also the fact is that if they happened at different times, we'd both have been there for eachother. i guess gd decided we needed to do them alone. 

seeing everyone from my home town was really hard. it's like opening an old wound, one that didn't heal quite right. 

what's strange about being back is that i'm still having issues with dating. i'm seeing someone named caleb, he's a communist, but also somehow a business student? he's strange, because i've been getting mixed signals and it hurts. i’m realizing i’m a lot more insecure and unstable than i thought i was. i’m probably reaping what i’ve sown, i tend to be so distant and ghost so many people. i deserve some of what i'm getting. i'm also seeing someone in colorado springs named jeremy, and he's just lovely. we have lots of shared values and he doesn't make me feel dumb. at first, because of the way our interaction was going, i was scared he was actually gay and using me as a jumping off point for queerness but he's assured me through action that that isn't what's happening. 

i've been thinking a lot about the end of this point in my life. i'm about to publically change my name to tamar, which is so exciting, but it also closes this era. it punctuates it in a really interesting way. i'll be moving forward with my education, which i've been so excited about and so fired up for, for the past two years, but all it makes me want to do now is RUN. i'm getting cold feet and i wish i could just leave. do a long ass backpacking trip from new delhi to london, or afghanistan to italy, or australia to bali, just to get some fresh air. i'm realizing how much i'm changing by staying in one place. this is the longest i've stuck around, especially as an adult. two years in november, so really just a year and a half. i'd really love to get a car i can live in for at least a bit and just take off. travel some. because when i graduate (god willing) in three years, the world will have changed so much. things are happening at such a rapid pace honestly and it's mortifying.  i feel like a kid sitting in bible study, or sunday school, being told that the apocalypse will mean the end of life as we know it, and that it could very well be in our lifetime. i don't know if i believe in the literal biblical apocalypse, but it takes up enough space in my psyche to understand that it's important for my personal development. i'm about to get a tattoo of a biblically accurate angel, a seraph, on my arm which i'm excited about. 

the building blocks of my fear of global warming and technological and simulationist development is that it's all coming to an end and you never know when it's the last time you'll do somethin. that's terrifying. not knowing when your life will change fundamentally, because of external causes. things we can't affect. 

i saw a post on some social media site, during my surgical recovery that just made me bawl like a baby. it read: I AM VERY YOUNG, AND I AM STILL LEARNING HOW TO LIVE.

 i am still learning how to live. i really am. 

i dont know what the fuck i'm doing. i'm really just throwing darts at a screen, trying to make sense of it but it doesn't add up. i wish i didn't feel like i was running out of time. time is the new money though, at least that's what they say. it's the only thing you can never get back once you've spent it. i really hope i'm spending year 21 as i should be. 

i think part of it not making sense is that everytime i feel like i've landed on a good thing, on something that could work and keep me anchored, it always falls apart. for two years ive been advocating for myself to be able to study here, and now that i've finally reached it, it doesn't taste as sweet as i wouldve hoped, or even expected. 

the snake that tempted eve in the garden, he tempted her with freedom. the knowledge not to be bound to god anymore. not to have to rely on him. i really wish i could get some of that fruit, from the tree of knowledge of good and evil. because right now, i feel like im just hanging on by his coattail. i dont want to have to rely on a god. 

i don't want to have to, but sometimes  it is nice, i guess, to be able to just pray and curl up in the shade of that tree, without eating of the fruit. i deserve to rest. i deserve to be protected. it's what we deserve, as people. i guess it's just scary to think that we all rely on him. i dont need god, at least i dont think so. i don't think i need god. maybe i do maybe that'll reveal itself in due time. who  fucking knows. 

maybe secretly i’ll want to rely on him. 

[dollycas]

Special Guest - Vikki Walton - Author of Fungi Foul Play: A Small Town Colorado Cozy Mystery (Backyard Farming Series) #AuthorInterview / #Giveaway

Fungi Foul Play: A Small Town Colorado Cozy Mystery (Backyard Farming Series) by Vikki Walton

I am delighted to welcome Vikki Walton to Escape With Dollycas today!

Hi Vikki, Tell us a little bit about yourself. I wrote my first book to encourage my daughter in a writing assignment for class. I live in beautiful Colorado but have lots of family and friends along with a piece of my heart in Texas. I write cozies, and historical fiction under a pen name. I also write some nonfiction. What are three things most people don’t know about you? - I am not a fan of dead grapes (raisins) but they’re okay if they’re made into wine. - I’m an INTJ. (0.8% of the population) - I lived in France when I was a young child (dad in service). What books/authors have most inspired you? The Queen of Mystery: Agatha Christie. Even though she’s now often categorized as cozy, her books were/are traditional mystery. The day that my first book ended up next to hers on the bestseller list felt surreal.

What kind of research do you do, and how long do you spend researching before beginning a book? It depends. I don’t have to do a lot of research for my cozies, but I spent a lot of time doing research for my historical fiction. Do you ever suffer from Writer’s Block? No. I have tons of ideas. It’s more that I’m a breadbox writer and I have to allow my subconscious to work on scenes or plots before it comes into my conscious mind. Sometimes that can be frustrating, but it’s my way of writing. What advice do you have for someone who would like to become a published writer? As an author coach, I work with beginning indie authors. I would give the following advice: 1. Read a lot; especially in the genre you want to write in. 2. Write a short story. First, this helps you to understand the genre and tropes needed. Second, writing something shorter helps you understand story arc. Finally, it provides you with a finished product that motivates you and can be used as a reader magnet. 3. Join a writer’s group either in-person or online. This can help you from making terrible mistakes like working with a vanity publisher. 4. Read (again). Learn as much as you can on craft, marketing, and self-publishing. There are a myriad of successful authors who can help you in your journey. 5. Create a plan. In order to achieve the goal of finishing a book and having it published, you need to set objectives, add in timelines, and targets. Even tracking your word count will help you move forward.

When you are not writing what do you like to do? I like to hike, travel, and spend time with animals (I’m also a global housesitter/petsitter). If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go and why? I am planning on hiking the Camino in Spain next year, so probably over to Europe. There’s so much history and architecture that I love. What is next on the horizon for you? I have a lot of writing projects in the works (self-publishing nonfiction book, a historical women’s fiction, another cozy mystery in one of my series, and a few new projects on the back burner with one being later-in-life romances. I like change and trying new things. Thank you, Vikki, for dropping by today! Keep reading for information about Vikki's new book, Fungi Foul Play. 

Read the full article

#Colorado #cozymystery #Ltd. #Morewellson #VikkiWalton

[bergenleach]

Virtual Sketchbook 1

Hi, my name is Bergen Leach and an interesting fact about me is I’m a competitive swimmer.

Artwork #25 – Diane Arbus 1962 Child with Toy Hand Grenade. Gelatin silver print, 15 ½” x 15 1/16”.

The grenade the child is holding is a toy grenade

She took multiple pictures of the boy ‘hoping to find the right angle”.

The boy in the photo, Colin, was angry at Arbus about the picture in his teenage years

Depside his deranged look the boy in the photo was said to be normal and just showing off for the camera

Arbus would wander the streets of New York looking for interesting people/things to capture with her camera, such as the boy in “Child with Toy Hand Grenade in Central Park”

The art changed greatly from the first time I looked at it. At first glance the artwork seems like a demented and suicidal boy who is on the brink of insanity. After a longer and more detailed look the boy is actually an ordinary child who is posing for the camera. But the crazed look is not all made up as his parents were indeed going through a divorce at the time leaving him feeling sad and alone. One thing I see different in the artwork now is that it can represent the trials and tribulations of childhood and how it can be difficult growing up.

2.

Here is a painting by Paul Sanchez. My Mom bought this painting forever ago in New Mexico. It is an original and was created by painting on canvas. It currently resides in a room by the front door and serves as a great talking piece and something to brighten up the wall. I think the painting is beautiful as it depicts a colorful and lively Mexican village and it always brings me back to when I lived in Colorado as it was in our living room there and I always remember looking at it.

3.

My name is Bergen Leach and I’m 18 years old. I’m a male. I currently live in Florida but have also lived in El Paso Texas, Nebraska, and Colorado. I’m Caucasian. For fun, I like to go fishing and hang out with my friends. I’m a member of a completive swim club called The Sarasota Sharks. For work, I have two businesses, a lawn care company, and a fishing tackle company. I’m unique in that I tend not to just blindly follow what others people do and like to think for myself.

4.

This self-portrait does a great job of illustrating me and my life. It captures me at the pool with my friends, where I spend a lot of my time. It also includes some Florida palm trees in the background and me beach fishing with a “Snook” I caught and later released. In addition, it shows my upbeat character I have an ear-to-ear smile.

[growingrootsinco]

My Deconstruction

Tiktoc is a wonderful thing. So many creators and so many points of view. After spending months watching people speak on religion, I figured out what I have been going thru for so many years. I never knew what to call it. For years, I have searched for something to believe in. A higher power that I could lean on in times of hardship. Growing up in Texas, I was conditioned to believe that it was a requirement. At 17, my mother came out of the closet. We spent a lot of time in my childhood reading the bible together so I know it from front to back. Looking back I realize that I never really stopped to let myself fully comprehend what the bible was saying. I just followed my mothers que. When she came out, I didn't know what to think of Christianity anymore. My mother spent all that time teaching me homosexuality was immoral but was now immoral herself. Was I supposed to hate her for it? Was she going to burn for it?

I went in search of something to believe in. All forms of Christianity. I tried to worship each of them but it seemed so awkward to me now.

When I moved to New York I began to see other walks of life that I had never been exposed to before. People from other countries showed me that Christianity has many different faces. Most of them were very open about its flaws. I met a woman thru the women’s shelter in Washington Heights that really helped shape my perspective on religion in general. She claimed she was a medium and had spoken with many spirits in her lifetime. Little did I know that, in the future, I would soon see exactly what she was talking about.

My journey moved out of Christianity into Catholicism. Again, it was awkward. Scratch that. I looked into what the celebrities were doing...... Too much chanting, tongues, and snakes. What the hell was I thinking? I'm not supposed to be questioning what I grew up with so I stopped voicing my search due to the scrutiny. Obviously I couldn't talk to family about it.

I left New York and moved home to Texas but was more pissed then ever. Fuck religion, fuck god, and fuck everyone who had ever taught me that religion in general had any value.

Where was god while my dad was beating us up? Where was god when my mother fell short of his glory? Where was god when that horrible family took my son from me? And where was god when every man that had ever walked into my life has treated me like a doormat?

After leaving the shelter in New York, the medium had given me a couple of books for the bus ride home, and I began to read them out of boredom. I won’t name the book here but the author wrote of how they feel about god and what god thinks of humanity. I finished the books in a different headspace. My first thought was I need to get out of Texas, but I have no where to go.

I attending a short college course on religious studies and was blown away again. So much hate and violence. Its given men the excuse to rape and pillage without consequence. These men came over here to the US so they could do the exact same thing they were doing in Europe.

Colorado offers a variety. I never hear a word about religions. Everyone here just gets up and goes to church. Its not made a spectacle out of. Do your thing, go worship. Why do I need to hear about it too?

What's the point of religion? I have enough to worry about. This entire time I was slowly pulling away from religion. Deconstructing my religion. I wouldn’t say I’m atheist but I’m close. In 2022, I became a member of the Satanic Temple. I can back something that doesn’t tell me I’m going to burn all the time. People don’t need religion to be good people. 

[raskies456]

southerners in the snow storm—

if your car is outside, go run it for a bit so the battery doesn’t die

scrape your car if there’s any snow on it

If you have a fireplace, learn how it works (gas or wood) and look up how to use it

leave your faucets dripping and open cabenits under the sink

if you can get supplies, get what you need for fire (wood, matches, fire starters), kitty litter to keep in your car and sprinkle around if you lose traction, warm clothes including gloves, socks, and thermal underwear, water bottles

if you must drive make sure you have warm clothes in the car

While driving keep a long follow distance, go slowly, don’t expect anyone else to be able to stop easily

Dont brake if you lose control of your vehicle, or during any turns

this isn’t a comprehensive list by any means

Northerners/People who live in cold/snowy places—

Realize that the South doesn’t have the same infrastructure to plow and salt roads and that most people are never taught how to deal with cold

Also most houses aren’t built for it and we have external water pipes and power lines

So shut up about how people can’t handle a little cold and actually give helpful advice if you must speak (:

#psa #cold weather #mine #I’m from Texas but I spend a lot of time in colorado #and let me tell you snow in Texas and snow in colorado are entirely different beasts #bc CO has the infrastructure to deal with it #while in Texas almost everything is shut down and power keeps going out #pipes are freezing and bursting #and even if you know how to drive on ice that won’t stop someone else from hitting you

[morceid]

Snowy Sniffles

💡SPENCER REID X DEREK MORGAN💡

read on ao3

Summary: Derek gets the flu when he and Spencer are snowed in on a case in Colorado.

Word Count:  2k

Category: fluff, slight angst

Content Warnings: swearing, sickness, case details

A/N: enjoy my otp being cute and cuddly for my first day of 12 days of moreid :)

The snowy mountains of Colorado. A serial killer as cold as the air was out there, and It was the job of the BAU to catch him.

The team boarded their plane like normal, occasionally Derek coughed and cleared his throat. Not enough to realize what was happening, but enough to get a “You okay?” from JJ.

There weren’t many hiccups with local police, except for them withholding information about the victims. Derek and Spencer were sent to profile the dump site, JJ and Emily to interview victims' families, while Rossi and Hotch set up at the station.

The dump site was in a clearing next to a mountain frequently used for sledding. A visiting family from Texas was recommended the mountain by a friend and since they weren’t familiar with the area, the mom got lost and they came across the body. Thankfully the kids weren’t there to see it.

Spencer and Derek walked out of the black SUV and ducked under the police tape in their fleece jackets and large boots. 

“The victim was Hannah Gentry. She was a fourteen year old girl who ran away from her abusive father. No sign of sexual assault, but there were signs of restrains on her thighs and around her stomach.” Spencer walked around the area the body had previously been found, searching for anything left behind by the unsub.

“Maybe he thought he was saving these girls. How old were each of the victims?” Derek said, pulling tissues from jacket pocket.

“Ages ranged from 13 to 19. All had someone abusive close to them. You sure you’re okay?”

Before Derek could reply he was coughing and gagging into the torn kleenex in his hand.

“I’ll be fine,” The stuffiness in his nose was apparent in his voice now. “Let’s go back to the station. I’m sure Rossi and Hotch are at the M.E. now.”

The two walked back to the car and headed towards the police station. On the way it started snowing and Spencer said something about growing up in Vegas without snow, and how in Virginia they never really saw the snow fall, they just woke up to it on the ground and in the streets.

Between the snowfall rapidly increasing, the windshield wipers not doing anything to help, and Derek driving in an unfamiliar area, he began having a coughing fit and swerved off the road.

They didn’t get hurt in the accident, just a large rush of adrenaline, but the car wasn’t in the best shape. The engine made a sound that contorted Spencer’s face.

“We should probably check that.”

Derek tried to push his door open but he had driven into a ditch and snow was piled up tp his window. He rolled it down and shoveled some of the snow with his gloved hands. He got the door all the way open with a little wrestling of the handle. The boot of the car was opened and steam was rising from it. Spencer had crawled across the center console and got out from Derek’s side.

“Do you think we could get an officer to pick us up?” Derek sniffled.

“I think the snow is coming down too hard now.” Spencer’s black coat was powdered with snow that he didn’t bother to shake off, knowing it would be back there in an instant.

“I’ll call Hotch.” Derek fished his phone out of his pocket.

“You fell in a ditch? Morgan, this is a very time sensitive case. This guy kills every three days and it’s been the second day since the last body was found. We need you guys here.” Spencer overheard Hotch’s near yells over the phone.

“Okay, dad, calm down there. I’ll call up Garcia to find us the closest hotel and we’ll crash there. Reid says snowing too much for an officer to come pick us up.” It was around 7:30 and the sun was starting to set.

“Alright, we can send someone to get you tomorrow.” Hotch hung up and Derek called Penelope.

“Hey-llo my chocolate thunder! Anything I could do for you?”

Derek coughed a couple of times.

“You okay, Derek?”

“Yeah, uh, me and Reid got stuck in the snow and we can’t get back to the hotel. Are there any near us that we can crash at?”

“You’re in luck, Derek Morgan, There is a motel only a seven minute walk away from you. Anything else?”

“Not right now, baby girl, take care of yourself.”

“So what are we gonna do?” Spencer had begun chewing on his fingernails and pacing in a circle around the car.

“Kid,” Derek took Spencer’s cold hands into his warm, gloved ones. “Stop your worrying. I can see all of those gears in your head going a million miles an hour. Garcia found a motel near us and we can walk there and stay the night until someone can pick us up. We’ll be okay.”

“I know I’m gonna be okay, it’s you I’m worried about, Morgan.” Spencer took his hands out of Derek’s and leaned into the car to grab his bag.

“What do you mean? I’m fine.” As if on cue, Derek started having a coughing fit.

“I’m talking about that, Derek. You’re showing signs of getting the flu. Your heart rate has sped up by 39% in the last couple of days. You constantly have a running nose and you won’t stop coughing. I am not getting sick, I cannot afford to get sick, especially on a case, so I hope this motel has two beds.” Spencer pushed away from Derek and began walking.

“Wait!” Derek ran to catch up. “Pretty boy, you’ve already been with me for almost 24 hours. I think you are already infected. Besides, you, my friend, are shivering. Now let me give you one of my coats.”

Spencer slowed his walking and let Derek drape his second jacket over his thin, purple one. Having a crush on your coworker was the worst.

When the pair reached the motel the sun had fully set and they had snow covering their shoulders and resting on their heads. They brushed it off before entering, where they were bombarded with the overwhelming scent of perfume as what could only be presumed as the owner tugged them in with both of her arms. She was short and wore a sparkly pink dress not unlike one Penelope would wear.

“What can I do for you kind fellows today? Did ya crash on the side of the road? Lots of people did tonight. Can I get you a room? Was it your engine? Faulty car?” The woman rambled.

“Um, we fell in a ditch a little bit back. We just need two rooms for the night,” Spencer looked down at her nametag, “Sasha. Thank you.”

“Well, boys, I am sorry to disappoint but we only have one more room for the night. You’re just gonna have to share.”

“Are there at least two beds?” Spencer whined.

“Sorry,” Sasha took Derek’s credit card and punched in the numbers on a computer that looked almost a decade old. “You good there? You look like you could throw up any second?”

“I’m fine, ma’am. Just give us the room key please.” Derek cleared his throat.

“Alrighty, there you go FBI guys.” Sasha handed them the room key labed 7B.

Given the overwhelming personality that brought them in, neither had a chance to look around and profile the front office. When they got to the room they realized just how miserable the stay would be.

The heater seemed to be turned off resulting in the room being colder than the outside. Complementary water bottles on the nightstand had frozen, expanded, and exploded. The pipes in the walls creaked and whined. Derek moved towards the bed, which when he pulled up the sheets, they were stiff and barely moved at his touch. Spencer moved past the bed and to the kitchen, where he found a coffee machine and cups in the cupboard.

“What are you doing?” Derek coughed.

“Making coffee. It’s something to keep me warm.” Spencer still had Derek’s jacket across his shoulders.

“Alright well, you might be right. I think I’m starting to get a fever. I’m gonna hop in the shower. Hopefully it’s just the reverse air conditioning that’s broken.”

Derek’s observations were proven correct as he unexpectedly walked into the spray of a nearly boiling shower. His muscles relaxed as he began thinking about the events of the day. His nose ran more than it had in the cold weather and it reminded him of a moment in the office that happened some while ago, back when Spencer first joined the BAU.

It was a slow day in the bullpen. With Spencer being nearly fresh from college, Derek wasn’t expecting him to take the best care of himself, no one was. Derek looked up, ready to throw Spencer a rolled up note about how bored he was. Instead he was greeted with an empty desk. After asking Hotch where the boy genius was and getting a surprised ‘I don’t know’ in response, he went in search of him. Spencer was found laying on the couch in an empty office. HIs skin was red and burning to the touch. Derek gave him a couple of shakes and he woke up, groaning. Spencer had gotten the flu and didn’t know how to deal with it at work. Not wanting to disappoint Hotch by skipping a day for something so insignificant as a virus, he settled in an office he correctly assumed was vacant. He insisted that he was okay but Derek refused to believe him. He dropped Spencer off at his apartment and immediately knew. He was in love with Spencer Reid. And he wanted to spend as much time with him as possible.

When Derek was in the shower for at least 15 minutes Spencer presumed that the shower was warm, so he called Sasha at the front desk from the phone in the room. She wouldn’t be able to get someone to come fix it for another day. He sat on the bed, spreading his arms and legs out in an attempt to warm the sheets. Letting his mind wander, he started asking himself questions. Why did he like Derek? He was just his coworker. Just someone in his life. An attractive person in his life, but just like anyone else in his life. Did Derek know how much he meant to him? Would he ever know? Would he be given the chance to let Derek know that he loved him and wanted to spend his life with the other knowing?

He was taken out of his day dream when Derek came out of the bathroom. Derek was shaking. He wore thick, flannel sweatpants and a grey hoodie, along with his socks, not wanting to leave a single part of his body too exposed.

“Uh, I know you’re super germaphobic and probably want nothing to do with my running nose and sore throat right now, but kid, all of my muscles are aching. Do you mind if I-”

“Not at all.” Spencer wrapped his arms around Derek’s middle as he sank onto the bed.

Derek let out a sigh of relief and settled in Spencer’s arms. It wasn’t long until his breathing evened out and he fell asleep in the lanky man’s arms.

“I think I love you, Derek Morgan.” Spencer whispered.

The next day Hotch called Derek to let him know that they caught the unsub. He was an amateur child groomer who left a hair in his latest victims mouth. An officer picked up the pair from the motel and they boarded the jet. Derek’s flu passed as soon as it came and he was better in the morning. A little cuddling with Spencer was just what the doctor ordered.

“Hey, Spencer.” Derek sat across from him after everyone on the jet had fallen asleep.

“Yes, Derek?” Spencer noted the use of his first name in his head.

“We need to talk about last night.”

“What about it?”

“I heard you, Spencer.”

“Wh-what are you talking about? Heard me say what?”

“Spencer,” Derek put his hand on the other’s knee, “I love you too.”

In a panic, Spencer leaned forward and pecked Derek on the lips.

“I-I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He stammered.

“It’s okay. We can do that if you want.” Derek leaned back in for a real kiss from Spencer. He still tasted like the cheap hotel coffee.

“We can do anything as long as we’re together.”

TAGLIST: @greenaway-lewis @pretty-b0yy @w0rmpi3 @sunflowrly @fuckshitupm8-deactivated3728 @the-sassy-one @endetit @adhd-lesbian @nobody121113​ @stalinthestripper​

#moreid #spencer reid #derek morgan #spencer reid x derek morgan #sickfic #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #moreid fanfic #moreid fanfiction #jennifer jareau #aaron hotchner #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #criminal minds fluff #spencer reid fluff #fluff #derek morgan fluff #moreid fluff #12 days of moreid

[preathtimeline]

Mobile Preath Timeline

It’s here, and it’s a lot.

The following is originally from skatertobin's blog:

Ok so here’s what we think went down:

2015

August to I wanna say November? They get close during the victory tour, Chris being the only other person aside from Alex to be invited to Tobin’s 100th cap dinner and all and them sharing a seat at the White House. Basic stuff.

December Christen tags along with Tobin on her Hawaii strolls (especially since both Cheney and ARod aren’t around for the Hawaii game). Wander around Waikiki Beach and hang out with Friends with Flowers in their hair and other fun things like that. Maybe Christen watches Tobin surf at some point and maybe Tobin teaches her how as well. 👀 Idk. But I’m positive swimming happens in cute bikinis because I mean.... it’s Hawaii!! 🙄 They they fly to NOLA for the last VT game. And Press is probs like “hey so where ya staying at after this (the China game)?” like while they’re walking along Bourbon Street where the Leather Jacket™ makes its first appearance. Then tobs is probs like “maybe Portland?” Then Chris is all “well that’s just a state away from where I’m headed wanna crash for a bit?” Then tobs, being the homeless little shit that she is, is maybe like “sweet can we go to the beach” then Christen is all “literally everyday” and then done deal. That’s that. So from there they take the same flight to LA from the NOLA airport. Why? Who knows but tbh Tobs maybe (definitely) stays in PV with Pressy and maybe (definitely) is the reason why Christen’s late to that boat parade at Newport with ARod and Whit cos you know... busy being a good host and such. But then it’s the holidays so we know Tobs would go home to her fam in the east coast for Christmas like the good daughter she’s supposed to be so she does, but she goes right back to LA to maaaaaybe celebrate Chris’ birthday. Boop. And you know since she’s already there they’re probably like, “why not spend New Year’s Eve together and train together at the TOCA center while we’re at it???” Like it’s the most obvious thing because I mean maybe they realize they’d be playing more together with Christen nally being close to a starting spot. Hawink!!!! Work on their chemistry as the kids call it because ya know... First Touch Is Everything™.

2016

January So maybe Tobs flies back to spend New Years with fam again because Chris can’t have her forever. But also maybe not because that would have been very convinient since they get called in to camp in Cali shortly after. But I mean you know, who knows. But wtvr. So there they spend a lot of time together like going to the beach together and getting coffee together and entering and exiting the locker rooms and US soccer vans together. You know. Fun stuff. Then the SD game happens and then they all fly to their respective homes but Tobin doesn’t have a home remember so she invites Press to go to Portland with her and they hold hands at the airport while Press is wearing the Purple Hat™ and maybe they go to the Nike HQ together and go furniture shopping and then they have dinner at a fancy restaurant and Tobs shows Chris around her soon to be new home like a local. Then they fly back to LA because beastmode soccer is a thing and they wanna train and be beasts. And then in between they share sunsets together and play with Morena and Khaleesi and Tobin is snookums.

February It’s Olympic Qualifiers in Texas and well what do you know??? The little shits score a goal together, and then steal the van keys so they can go out on Valentine’s Day. There’s a monkey stuffed toy involved and I hate my life basically because @ god, why. 🔥 They go back to LA together after celebrating their Olympic qualifying win to watch the Arsenal vs Barça game in Santa Monica and have sushi together and also crash the u16 camp. Then they go back to PV and Fly Away™ because All We Need Is Love™. Also because christen has a fUCKING BODY ISSUE PHOTOSHOOT that they’re tOTALLY NOT SUBTLE ABOUT. Ok maybe they’re totally subtle. Kind of.

March They go into the SheBelieves Cup in Florida and go Raw Juicin’ and jewelry shopping because that’s what gal pals do obviously. Chris probs tags along when Tobin hangs out with her French friends and they fly back together to NJ to meet Christen’s fam (who would have thought?!) and to NYC to Find Neverland. And then I mean imagine the goodbye for when they go their separate ways for the NWSL preseason and if you’re wondering how they’d cope, the answer is: Not well.

April They meet again for the Orlando camp and they all gotta be lowkey and concentrate on the training but then the OCSC vs PTFC game happens and they’re not so slick and get accidentally recorded and Tobin’s like 🙅🙅🙅... So they train in Orlando and Colorado and win in Connecticut and Philly vs Colombia and then they play chess in between and have coffee. Turns out they’re new bus buddies too now Allie’s in camp. And maybe (definitely), Jill Ellis is a fangirl and ships the little shits together because suddenly Press is a right middy and Tobs is a right back. If not for the sole purpose of Foudy saying on live television that Tobin would be watching Christen’s ass the entire game, basically. Anyway. CAPTAIN Tobs gets some winking action caught on camera and we’re all just gone. Adios. Goodbye.

May NWSL starts back up and we’re all excited but also sad because preath but they’re fine and we’re being dramatic but not as dramatic as them because apparently they desperately miss one another??????.... So like, when Chicago plays in Seattle the same weekend Portland plays at home, what else would Tobs do right? Would she drive four hours to watch the game? The answer is yes. But why right???? WHYYYYY???? Because obviously, Press in the west coast means some much needed quality time in Portland i.e. a double date at a fancy vineyard with a view and some tacos.

June The games vs. Japan happen in Denver and happen in Cleveland and that’s apparently not enough for them because Tobin tags along with Press and the Chicago girls to watch the MehNT and the Jumbotron loves them just as much as they do each other. The two part series of a battle of the baes in the CHIvsPOR NWSL games starts in Chicago and ends in Portland so naturally (duh) Press stays in Portland so the little shits could have private training sessions together before flying to Chicago again. Fuckers. (Honestly it’s not practical but thEY INSIST)

July The game vs South Africa happens after which they conveniently skedaddle ahead of everyone else in a separate car because of dinner reservations at yet another fancy restaurant. They both make it to the Olympic 18 and they “celebrate” it by going on a not-so romantic getaway to the ESPYS in LA and then they have dinner with Alex and Allie because like, Press probably (I’m sensing a theme, are you?) gotta have an initiation of sorts because things bout to get serious. 💁 But well Tobin gets an initiation of her own too so they’re even. 😅 But well, Tobin gets They head into camp in KC then win their Olympic send off game against CRC 👀 and fly again to camp in DC with the NJ crew and chill before flying aGAIN for the Olympic Games !!!

August They get to Brazil and have a killer Olympics .............Can you believe the Olympics got cancelled this year?????? Amazing. Anyway. That’s irrelevant. What’s not irrelevant though!!!!!! is them coming back to the states!!!! But instead of going straight home, the little shits get a connecting flight from Chicago (to probably get stuff??) to Portland together to get away from it all. Some good music, good coffee, a little kite flying and some R & R with good company and suddenly all is right in the world again. 👍 NWSL regular season to look forward to.

September So like, the NWSL starts up again right and they go their separate ways and you’d think they’d calm down a bit but BITCH YOU THOUGHT because they secretly meet up again because Press is Tobin’s plus one at her sister’s wedding in Rhode Island and she’s even invited to the rehearsal dinner which is “for immediate family and the bridal party only”. Cyb Press is considered immediate family?????? I can’t TBH. Anyway. That’s only for the weekend though because they gotta get back to their teams to play and try and get berths to the playoffs.... which they boTH DO!! Nice. NT training camp follows and it’s in Columbus so oBVIOUSLY Ms. Portland’s gotta fly in a day early to the east coast to meet up with Captain Chicago & Co. and we find out that Tobin’s tired af and that JJ is a shipper. 😌 Then Columbus happens where we finally get the goal celebration we truly deserve and where the whole stadium empathizes with two college dudes who are like “damn bro, number 12 ain’t straight”. And we can’t forget the regular coffee date . I swear to god it’s an addiction at this point. The game in Georgia isn’t as eventful as the last time we played the Netherlands but I guess it isn’t short of hearteyes. 😍

October So anyway. Can you believe the NWSL gets canceled after the Thorns win the shield???????? This “playoff match” doesn’t actually happen. It’s true. Press just visits Portland to go mermaiding with Tobin. (Euphemism? We may never know) So after then they fly to LA for a Sia concert because they can. But anyway, remember when we thought we got the goal celebration we deserved during that Thailand game? WRONG. Apparently the Swiss have other ideas because we’re all blessed and I’ve never felt more alive than I’ve ever felt in my life in this moment. And we almost get a repeat performance but I mean I guess it’s true lighting doesn’t strike the same place twice. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ̄ or something like that. La Blanquita goes Batista a few days later and Tobin has been established as a pretty useless maid of honor but I mean, she looks cute and her outfit repeater of a plus one (who is yet again invited to the rehearsal dinner!!!!!) looks cute too.

November At this rate is it even still surprising they’re practically living together? Portland Preath gets a part /something/ (because honestly who the fuck is still keeping track? Hint: not me) So Press Painting rainbows in an oversized, expensive ass Pride shirt in Tobin’s Portland kitchen is a thing thanks to Tobin’s (not Kling’s. Gotta make that clear.) very distinguishable floorboards and countertops. And apparently Press is practically a Thorn at this point, too, what with all that ball-kicking and strength training in Providence Park? Yeah. Ikr. Gross. They come to NorCal (to have coffee with a baby for practice) for the first Romania game and CYB they have chemistry on the field????? Like who woulda thunk?!?!?!?!? Also Press gets a hatty because she’s???? good???? at????? soccer????? (Also Christen brings herself sandwiches during games. Tobin doesn’t but CP ain’t selfish. If yanamsayin. Also, they’re literally married. Just thought you’d like to know.) K so anyway, boop boop, ROU part 2 aka the SoCal game becomes the perfect finish to the USWNT calendar year eSPECIALLY for the little shits because not only do we all get Blessed™ with another Preath goal, but basically Preath saves 2016 via great passes, bedroom eyes and hand holding. (PRESS SCORING AND ASSISTING IN EVERY GAME SINCE SWITZERLAND BTW????? Like, thank you, Tobin.) So no more games for the rest of the year, but that will not stop them from doing couple things because!!! They!!!! Are!!!!! Little!!!! Shits!!!!! The zenpups think so too. But anyway! It’s the return of Sunsets and Snookums in LA can you believe!!!!! There’s a romantic museum trip somewhere in the mix and some soccer on the beach too! Chris realizes then that her true passion is to be part of the circus and it’s all because of Circuit Bouldering in Portland (read: their home). Or I guess a second home because looks like Chris finally gets settled into her new house by the beach for a hot minute to enjoy rainbows before jetting off again. ✈

December Right so Grassroot Soccer holds a gala and Christen is the guest of honor also it’s Tobin’s turn to be a plus one (and to a red carpet event at that!) in frEAKING LONDON and they’re both beautiful and I’m dead. I’m also thinking Chris is the one that scored them tickets to the Arsenal game the night before the gala because she is whipped and In LoveTM. Gross. They don’t stop there though because they think they’re sneaky Pete about watching El Clasico with the fam (aka Allie & Bati) BUT NO!!!! You caught muthafuckas! There’s dancing in alleyways and reconnecting with old Spanish friends, too. Gross x 2 Euro trip continues in Sweden and Tobin and Christen literally sit on a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G and it’s all so scenic and romantic. Gross x 3 Well, I didn’t think they’d ever come back from their European bae-cation, but they do and it’s straight to Portland for some Christmas decorating and Tobin wins POTY to make up for this shitty year so they celebrate by getting some coffee and tacos and training - their faves. Duh. It’s kind of a quiet Christmas, celebrating with their own friends and family but I mean, it’s Pressy’s birthday. So they reunite and go hiking in LA and Christen gets a new name. Hi Kristen! 🖐

2017

January After ringing in the New Year with skiing and kisses (probably), Chris spends time in Portland, having shakes and breakfast with the bae. They go back to LA coming out of their own little bubble because it’s January training camp season and I’m having major flashbacks with them riding together to training and being locker room buddies! Their off day is as glorious as we’d expect, with some beach time and fun. (Thanks to JJ for being a shipper.) And we’re also blessed with Allie Long and a Harry Video. After camp, they’ve got a ton of down time so it’s the perfect opportunity to go chilling by their beach house. I say “their” because there’s a stray surfboard lying around and I’m sure as hell it ain’t Christen’s. 💁

February The next camp for SheBelieves isn’t til later on in the month so they fly back to home number 2 aka Portland to chill and be low key, watching Tove Lo on their date night. Tobin has a little photoshoot where she's in all her sweaty glory and itty bitty shorts and Christen flies off on her own for a bit for an appearance then it’s back to Portland for a low key vday. And then camp starts up and it feels like a drought but really, we’ll take what we can get. And what we get are matching backpacks and Harry.

March The SheBelieves Cup starts really well with an Allie IG takeover (which is always gold js) and we’re blessed with cameos of the lovers slash bus buddies!! And we see that age old Preath Connection that we know and love. We even get a possible date night in between!!!! The second game is a doozy but the most important takeaway is that they’re literally married. From the bus to the locker rooms, from the bench all the way to the sidelines. Married. Wives. For life. Fact. Even the Press Pack is supportive. Last game of the tourney and it was a loss. Lol. Anyway. They were trying to be sneaky and we learn that the fams are at the games together to support them. That’s it. Next. There’s a lot of debate about whether or not Tobin calls Christen “babe” because we’re all thirsty but there’s also the thing about helping Chris move to her new Chicago apartment so insert Oprah what’s the truth gif here. And then before the month ends, there’s a perfectly planned preseason tournament in Portland. Right before which Press kidnaps Tobin and escapes to LA for some hula dancing and pineapples, and then brings her back because plus ones at weddings are overrated (not). But the tourney goes on and Tobin’s not playing but she’s enjoying her box in the stands. Meanwhile, Christen just wants to say hi.

April Not much really happens because they’ve suddenly gone 100% stealth mode, with Tobin injured and not able to travel and all, but thanks to a little tweet we see that on NWSL opening day there was still some sort of support aka Tobin watching the Chicago game while on the stands for the Portland home opener. It’s better than nothing right? Oh and when Chicago visits PDX for the 3rd game, Chris gets taken down and Tobin looks away because she probably can’t watch it without going apeshit idk. Same. Anyway, Chris sends smiles towards the box and I guess I’m okay with that.

May “what injury?!” Tobin then says as she boards a flight to Chicago after the Thorns game to bear witness to/be the reason behind the end of the drought (goals & content tbh thank you). Cyb her back died so CRS could rise? Meanwhile to pass the time though Tobs becomes Asst Director for the Thorns youth program and paints for bae. And right after their respective weekend home games, Press ies out to PDX for Tobin’s birthday shebang. Tobin picks her up from the airport and takes her to her party and everything!

June A couple of friendlies abroad happen but since Tobs is injured she’s off the roster but she does some housewarming for Chris til she gets back from practicing on babysitting Cash. So after that, getting back into the swing of things in the NWSL is easy for Chris but unfortunately Tobin still can’t play so the next best thing is staying together in ChiTown to keep the blues away for like.... 2 weeks.

July ...Tobin’s still injured. But at least she has some fresh shoes (and expensive sliders)! And Press spends some time in LA to keep her company at rehab. Some people thought July was gonna be the first month we don’t get any content and Press personally makes sure it isn’t during the Chi vs Orl game on lifetime.

August We have a weird Tournament of Nations and it’s probably because Tobin’s back hasn’t resurrected yet but in the last game in LA, we get a rare sighting of a stud at training so maybe we’ve still got a shot. I mean i guess 2nd place in our own tournament isn’t so bad? Kinda? But whatever. What’s important is the roller blading that happens the days after. And then it’s time for CHIvsPOR. And after that, Tobin’s back in LA hanging out with Chris’ sister and bro-in-law at a bar because you know, they’re close or whatever.

September Ok so it’s been quiet but it’s not because of anything crazy. They’ve just done better at the privacy thing. Good on them you know ? But anyway. They reunite in Colorado and Cincinnati.

October The final regular season match is conveniently in Portland and unfortunately, they end up not playing each other in the semis so Chicago has to book a flight to NC but Chris still makes sure to enjoy her time. So after the uswnt game that Tobs has to sit out, the only time we have proof that Tobin is still alive is the Century 21 event in Arizona. Meanwhile Chris is back home with her pups in LA. But Tobs flies to get in on the puppy love but we only know through her shadow and when they turn into wine moms for a night.

November Fall this year is coming along quite nicely but not as nice as it is in Portland, probably, because there are Trainbows, says Chris! In Canada Chris serves some gross hearteyes despite the fact that Tobin’s been sidelined due to injury. They have the last game of the year in Cali and it kickstarts the swaggin they do together. And then November ends with a bang with them posting about flying to london for a red carpet event!

December Said red carpet event is the annual Grassroot Soccer Gala. (And this time Tobin doesn’t go ghost!) And they just wander around taking good pictures and visiting friends and watching football! Thanks HAO! Thanks Crystal! And then they’re back to being Domestic!Preath canoodling in their LA loft by the beach, chilling and hangin out with friends and being Christmassy and such.

The following is from Preath-Things

December (cont.) Christmas rolls around, and they end up going back to their respective fams, meeting back up in Portland some days later. They spend New Years eve snowboarding and just chilling in the snow with their friends. 👌

2018

January New Years is spent in Portland going sledding, but they eventually head back down to California so Tobin can get her ankle fixed. January camp happens without Tobin. But it's fine because Christen and Tobin spend every other moment together, watching sunsets in the rain and Tobin's having a super duper good recovery. Christen finds a new club in the NWSL, surprise! After the friendly against Denmark, they're back to spending all their time together, holding water bottles and attending conferences.

February Tobin has a new job ! Modelling for the new Mercurials in London, whilst also showing off her piano skills, which Christen's obviously heard before with there being a keyboard and all hanging around at their places. Tobin continues her modelling career in LA because the shoes are orange so of course she would. Christen on the other-hand pays a quick visit to houston then reports to camp. Tobin's still out and not playing soccer because remember she's still trying out her modelling career.

March The SheBelieves Cup happens. Or maybe it doesn't. Debatable, considering Christen is bascially nowhere to be found on the pitch, and there's little evidence of her even being at camp. Tobin's also too busy moving from her modelling career to her acting career to be there and play. The uswnt wins the cup somehow anyway. Christen goes back to Portland after the cup and it's a bit quiet but Tobin and Christen are spending some quality time together so isn't that really all that matters? Another surprise ! Christen doesn't want to be with her new NWSL club. So she's heading to Sweden to relive some good times instead, but not before flying kites with Tobin. Tobin also paints a few things inlcuing a 9 post equality sign because she's just that extra.

April Christen returns to her happy place. 🇸🇪 She signs with Kopparbergs/Göteborg FC and scores goals, lots of them. To the absolute surprise of everyone (read: no one) she's named April player of the month in the Damallsvenskan! Tobin decides to put both her modelling and acting careers on hold in an attempt to try her luck at the soccer thing again. Also, being the supportive gal pals that they are, and separated by an ocean, they get into the habit of liking each others instagram posts every so often.

May There are pool parties, sea dips and visits to Norway for Christen, during all of which she proves she did in fact pack Tobin's entire closet, accessories and style before she left PDX. Still separated by an ocean, not really too much happens, other than each of them continuing to practice the liking option on each others instagram posts.

June It's Pride Month 🌈 and Pride Month Delivers. Tobin is called up to national team camp for the first time since forever because her ankle seems to be a-okay, and Jill remembers Christen exists all of a sudden and also calls her up. Which means the two lovebirds finally get to reunite in Utah after months of being super long distance. This officially kicks off Pride month celebrations across the globe. Tobin feels 'tight' prior to the game and decides not to join in on the first Pride month celebration of the USWNT aka the first game against China, instead opting to chill and watch the game from the stands. After Tobin sees the Utah Royals owner get down on one knee in front of her girl, she decides it's time to remind the world that Christen is her's by posting a selfie with her and her gal pal. Christen seems to like the photo too and decides to also repost it because it's pride month after all and you gotta spread the love or something. And that's not the only thing she seems to like, deciding to swap clothes with her girl for their date to the Cavs game. Chris wears Tobin's Cavs jersey, like the traitor she is because apparently whilst it might be the wrong team, it's the right number (in other words words.. the things you do for love, and to wear something with the #23). Pride month continues to deliver with the second game against China and what better way to celebrate pride month by marking the game as Christen's 100th cap?!! Oh there are better ways, says the universe or something because Christen assists a goal in the first half, Tobin enters the match in the second half, and we are blessed with a pREATH GOALl!!! or alternatively a small game of keepy uppy between the two lovebirds which ends up with a ball at the back of the net and a Preath celebration we deserve, whichever you prefer to call it. Pride camp ends, but not before Chris makes sure to just leave one last mark on her time in Cleveland. After flying off together to Chi town, they go their separate ways and Chris returns to Sweden. But it seems that Pride month has one last piece of magic to make happen, and Christen's caught up in another big tangle of a messy trade within the NWSL, which lands her in Utah. A trade she accepts. She is now officially royalty. A queen. 👑 Soon after Chris arrives at her new club, Tobin takes a quick pit stop there on her way back from Houston, because obviously she gotta help her girl settle in to her new home away from home.

July So it’s the Fourth of July and the new royalty/royals, Chris and Sam decide it’s a great idea to celebrate it by buying food to grill even when neither of them know how to turn on a girl grill! Stuck on how to turn on the offending cooking appliance, Chris uses a lifeline and chooses to phone a (girl)friend. Grill Master Tobin pulls through and saves the day. Not that Christen wants anyone to know that Tobin did (gotta mute those instastories, you know?), but Sam does (thanks Sam!). At the same time, Laura decides to inform the world that Christen lives in Portland (thanks Laura!). The Battle of the Baes returns to Portland for 2018 and it ends with a hug and a kiss drinks back at home. Then it's back to Utah for Chris. The Tournament of Nations happens again and it’s not as weird as the previous year’s (probably because Tobin decides to join in this time around). To prepare for the games, Christen returns home to Portland so the two lovers can visit the Nike HQ, go berry picking and dream about pies. Gotta have that pre-camp preparation and relaxation at home with your SO, you know?! The first game of the tourney is against Japan, and it ends with a W and has Tobin subbing on for Christen. There’s shoulder rubs and hip taps and some airport shenanigans. Remember how Tobin was subbed on for Chris? Chris is subbed on for Tobin in the next game against Australia! It’s now completely apparent that Jill deems having both of them playing at the same time to be just Too Dangerous for opposing teams due to their ridiculous on and off the pitch chemistry. She��s clearly just sparing the opposition from a super embarrassing defeat. Good tactic. Chris’ fam comes to say hi in Connecticut 🖐️

August The tourney continues and there’s some team pictionary bonding prior to their final ToN game against Brazil. The Brazil game ends with a Tobin goal and assist, a win and a trophy, as the uswnt finally win the tourney!!!! Also, at this stage it's questionable whether the two are trying to be sneaky or not anymore with Chris throwing literal heart eyes at Tobin at the start of the game, and Tobin putting her arm around Chris' shoulder at the end. 🤷 After the ToN it’s back to their clubs and it’s a bit quiet, but I mean as to be expected. What’s not expected however is the shenanigans that happen prior to the NT's first Chile game back in Christen’s hometown. It’s CP's 100th cap celebration, and Tobin pOSTS her girl a congratulatory post ??? Picture, profile tag, emojis and all?? If you thought the girl would stop there with her public celebration of her bae's 100th cap celebration, you'd be d e a d w r o n g. Tobito also proudly wears Christen’s name on her back ??? somewhat earlier than anyone's anticipated ??? Chris has her ceremony, and Tobin literally has the proudest smile, which you could probably see from space— and it’s debatable whether a tear escapes her eyes during the ceremony, but who could blame her if one did?? So it’s game time and we finally get the long-awaited Captain Press, and it’s everything we could’ve dreamed of!!!! Truly spectacular. Tobin gifts Christen with a PK, which she perfectly finishes because she’s Chris. But there’s a big commotion and suddenly the goal doesn’t count???? Because the ref is apparently trying to ruin Chris’s day ??? and doesn’t know the rules of soccer like at all??? Tobin won’t hear of it obvs— leading the rest of the team as they storm up towards the ref with wagging fingers and pitchforks at halftime, whilst at the same time the Press Pack is up in arms. But it’s (semi) fine in the end because Chris gets another goal anyway (it's beautiful)— capping off the perfect night and a perfect victory in the most perfect place. ❤️❤️ Talking about perfect, both Chris and Tobs are also the most perfect human beings, donating their jerseys from the game to TWLOHA.

September The second game against Chile only features Tobin, but before and after the game she’s wearing a t-shirt that looks strangely like a Supreme-branded shirt with the letters P R E S S spelled out ?? Anyways it's another victory for the team, and everyone eventually heads back to their clubs for the final week of regular season. Then it's postseason time, and Chris returns to Portland to train alone 👎, whilst Tobs is off training with her club. The Thorns play their semifinal game and get the W, obvs cheered on by Chris in the stands. Weirdly enough though, the NWSL championship game for 2k18 just..... never happens ????? Super strange. (Although if it did, Chris was once again there, cheering her girl on) Anyways the season's over, and another season begins— the offseason (aka the best season) where the love birds stroll the streets of Portland (probably holding hands or something cute) and get ready for camp. Although it looks like they might've received the wrong memo about what kind of camp they had coming up— as they end up in the wilderness of Oregon.. camping? And debatably skinny dipping? Who knows?! Is there actually a bikini strap around Tobs's neck? Who knows?! What we do know is that they only packed one suitcase, Christen's gone granola, and the two eventually head on out of there once they realize they're most definitely at the wrong camp— heading off to NC for the camp they were actually meant to be at.

October It's World Cup Qualifiers time, and Chris and Tobs score some goals, Chris has suddenly grown a dragonfly on her arm, and sometime between their last uswnt game and the qualifiers, the two nerds have created their own little handshake— because Chris wanted in on the whole handshake club (who could blame her tbh). So the uswnt qualify for the world cup (!!!!!), and the love birds go and celebrate by showing off their Spanish 101 knowledge in Mexico, and literally murdering everyone by posting photos from their beach and infinity pool photoshoots ??? Like cool, it's not like we were trying to live or anything, right ?? Nah. Oh yeah they're also not being subtle about the fact they're in literally the same place either. But you know what, subtle schmutle thinks Chris, as she posts a boomerang of Tobs and her at tees + jeans like it's like no big deal you know like, whatever. They head to pdx to stand in the fall leaves and take more photos of each other.

November

So there’s a couple USWNT friendlies abroad which Tobs and Chris don’t join in on due to personal and family commitments (respectively), but it's okay (kinda) because they instead

visit an art museum

together— fitting right in as the works of art that they are. Oh yeah Tobin seems to be the

newest Royals signing

? and she's also number 21. Tobs and Chris have a

New York minute week

— jumping into ball pits and casually posting an instastory of themselves together, because obvs it's nbd. They also spend some quality time around thanksgiving with Tobin's fam.

December

The two head back west and drop by stubhub to give some inspirational pep talk to some young athletes at Nike’s,

Play Like a Pro thing

and also so Pressy can

grand marshal

the PV Christmas lights parade ! They also do some

toca training

,

lab visiting

,

sunset watching, more training/testing and family photo taking

. So they basically spend a whole lotta time together— training and being cute and shit ❤️️❤️. They might've headed to Florida also during this time but no one's 100% sure, and it's all a bit of guesswork and squinting. Whatever the case, they were together during most of month because offseason means, barely leaving the bae's side season, until Christmas that is— where they go their separate ways for a couple days. But then it’s Pressy’s birthday aka Christmas 2.0, so Tobs jets back to the west coast to join in on the celebrations, because obviously the best/most important present is Tobin's presence, duh. So they're finally back together in the west coast for the remaining days of 2018, and they finish the year by watching sunsets off rooftops, and preparing to see in the new year together. 💕

The following is when Preathbar took over.

2019

January It’s 2019! Tobin and Christen ring in the new year much like they ended the last one. They play some beach volleyball, To(es)bin watches some premier league, they continue training, Chris gets lost in LA, makes sure we know she’s feeding Tobin, and finally, they watch the last sunset in LA for two weeks😂 lol. Before the fun of camp can start, they get delayed at the airport AND TOBIN ACTUALLY ACKNOWLEDGES CHRISTEN’S EXISTENCE. It’s fine. We’re all okay from that. (Also Tobin has some Tibetan prayer beads on?) Christen tells us you can’t mess with her zen and they eventually make it to January Camp in Portugal. Because they can’t live without a sunset, they find some (arguably better) ones on a beach in Portugal. Jan Camp finishes up and as luck would have it the whole team gets delayed this time and Tobin passes the time by playing Mario Kart. The orange and pink Kånken bags make a reappearance and of course, Tobes and Chris are airplane buddies. They arrive in Le Havre, France and everyone is still blissfully ignorant about the future events. Apparently, Tobin took a knock during camp and is held out of the first game on precaution so it is CP vs France. Literally and figuratively. The game against France goes very well, and we’re all so glad THAT game was the one on the weekend. After that *ahem* rough, game it’s time to move on and the team makes their way to Alicante, Spain where Tobes and Chris enjoy a day out and about. Tobin seems to have recovered and gets a start against Spain, CP doesn’t, but after a 0-0 first half, Jill decides to sub her in and SHE SCORES A FREAKING (GAMEWINNING) GOAL. The wives only get to play together for 20ish minutes, but we are treated to plenty of Preath content during and after the game. First, there’s the goal celebration that includes a Tobes head pat and a wink from the one and only Christen Press 😉. At halftime, there’s some hand holding glove holding, but after the game we witnessed a to a PreathTackle™ via Tobin Heath. She’s just so proud of her girl she can hardly contain her emotions (and we can’t either 😭). They return to LA after the madness in Europe just in time to catch a sunrise.

February So very early on into the month, Tobin literally comes out of the blue with her “The Ones” interview while promoting the new Air Jordans, and let me tell you, the photos were anything but chill. The go on a little daytime date 💙 and Christen shows off her many rings. After that, Christen decides to prove that Tobin’s not the only model in the family and hits us with the behind-the-scenes of her photoshoot with localemagazine. Stay tuned until May for our Covergirl. Shortly, our family of models decides to return to their day jobs and attend camp in Tampa, FL for the She Believes Cup. They can’t help but be attached at the hip while they’re there (and we’re not complaining). The team makes their way to Philly and Tobin, Chris, and Ash go on a little stroll where Preath proves, yet again, that they exist in the same universe. USWNT vs Japan is first up and again, Christen comes off the bench and makes an immediate impact with an assist, giving the US the lead. She also gets smacked in the face but its okay because Tobes makes sure to check up on her. We also definitely win the game and don’t waste all that work CP did by letting them tie it up.

March After the performance against Japan, the team sets their sights to England at camp. To celebrate the “SheBelieves spirit” they all wear the name of an inspirational woman of their choosing on their backs. Christen chooses the unproblematic fave of Sojourner Truth and Tobin chooses Doris Burke, who was very moved by the gesture. Before the game, Christen gives Tobin her stick of gum bc CP still isn’t starting. Unfortunately, the team seems to play as if they are the names on their back and tie. AGAIN. Maybe it was just the cold because Tobes and Chris almost miss the plane back to sunny Florida, but after quickly boarding the gayng gets to sit together. With one more game left, it looks almost impossible for the US to win the tournament, and we don’t, but we manage to win our last game 1-0 with a goal by the one and only Tobin Heath. Unfortunately, it’s now Chris’ turn to make sure Tobin is okay after a hard foul. Before we take a break from the USWNT for a little while, the World Cup kits are announced with a plethora of promotion. Tobin and Christen both return to their club teams and Tobin does some more promotion for the Thorn’s new kits and sixstar. Christen returns to LA to play some preseason games with Utah and while she’s there she is reunited with Morena and Khalessi. CP is announced as the honorary falconer for the LAFC game and reminds us that if the animal isn’t a dog, she’s slightly intimidated. Tobin also plays a preseason game for Portland and apparently tears it up, but her time with the Thorns is cut short when they both re-port for camp and are re-united for the April Friendlies.

April Camp slowly starts to wind down as the upcoming friendlies draw closer, but not before some exciting news. LUNA Bar announces that they will cover the World Cup roster bonus pay gap for the entire US Women’s National Team! It is revealed that Christen was one of the “chief architects of the team’s current collective bargaining agreement” and she reminds us how smart and beautiful she is in several different interviews. Then, we are provided with an incredible picture that only confirms that Tobin and Christen are bus buddies (in case we somehow forgot). Press is not only smart and beautiful, but she’s also talented at this game of soccer and helps the team win over Australia in an overly dramatic sort-of way. Tobin notches a goal over Australia, but she doesn’t get any minutes against Belgium. CP, however, plays a full 90 minutes and provides 3 assists off of set pieces!!! Nobody seems to notice though. After two successful friendlies with the National Team, they return to play their first (and last for awhile) games for their NWSL teams. Tobin earns POTY with the Portland Thorns and later, an absolutely wild game is played against Chicago. Meanwhile, Press proves what a class act she is in Utah and notches an assist in her first game and then a goal in the second. Just as they start to settle in, we all sadly realize they have to leave their club teams, even though we STILL don’t have a WC roster, but we do get a bunch of amazing gifs. After her game in Orlando, Christen stays a while in Miami where she shows us her coconuts and does lots of promo before we finally get the announcement we were all patiently waiting for. HuLU hAS LivE spOrTS!

May On the first of the month, Tobes and Chris are spotted at the Hulu Upfronts with several other players, looking as gorgeous as ever. Eventually, after virtually the entire roster being known beforehand, USsoccer drops the 2019 Women’s World Cup Roster and Tobin Heath is going to her third World Cup while Christen Press is going to her second, but they’re doing it together this time. With the announcement of the roster, everyone heads to camp before the last of the send-off series games. (Oh and also there’s an incident with Tobin in a button up and her shoulder but whatever. It’s fine.) Remember that “re-” thing Tobin, Christen, Pinoe, and Kling kept teasing/we thought it was an inside joke? Well, it turns Rɘ-inc is an entire company the ladies are starting and they strive to rɘ-imagine rɘ-invent rɘ-configure, and rɘ-volt (to name a few). They are set to launch June 2017 2019 and we can only hope to be blessed with more photos of Tobin wearing... boxers? The first friendly is played against South Africa, and Tobin and Chris actually get to start together, but still, a preath-goal alluded them the entire game. Do you remember back in February when we saw the behind-the-scenes of CP’s shoot with localemagzine? Well now it’s May and Christen is officially a cover girl and I swear they’re all trying to kill us before the World Cup because no one should be allowed to look that hot, but it's Christen so why are we surprised? The penultimate send-off game against New Zealand goes off with little fan-fare (but the girls do notch goals and/or assists). The team seems to have the weekend off before playing their last game and of course, Tobin and Christen return to Portland and decide to watch the Blazers play the Warriors in the Conference finals. How do we know they were at the game? I mean, other than the fact the CP posted a story on Instagram about Nike making Tobes’ dreams come true you could LITERALLY SEE THEM ON LIVE TV BC THEY HAD SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS BEHIND THE BENCH. Let’s just say we all suddenly cared a lot about basketball that night. A few days later the USWNT heads to New York, is surprised in time square (where T&C are bus buddies, duh), attends GMA, and has Media Day at Twitter’s headquarters. It was a content overload. We never get a break either because few days after that they play their last send-off series game against Mexico and guess what; Tobin and Christen BOTH SCORE (goals)!!! Most would think that having an afternoon game means that the rest of the day is for relaxing and recovery… well, you’d be wrong. Apparently, it’s time for the launch party of Rɘ-Inc and Christen is wearing a Suit. I repeat a Suit at the party and Tobin is wearing a black dress. They both looked absolutely incredible. Rɘ-inc provides us with a lot of amazing content throughout the month. It’s a quick turn around again and the NT now makes their way to London for their final training before the World Cup starts. It’s also Tobin’s 31st birthday and we all hoped and prayed that Christen would post something for it and luckily, she didn’t disappoint.

June It’s officially World Cup Time, but not before a little camp and because the US plays last there’s still time for them to release their 23 stories even after the tournament has officially started. And since we’ve got the time, ESPN announces that Tobin Heath will be profiled on their next E60 special. Tobin finally opens up about… playing soccer… and also her family. In the end, the whole interview makes us love Aunty To-To even more (if that’s even possible) and the unredacted interviews in a podcast are definitely worth the listen. As the last game of the first round of group stage games commences, the USA finally gets their chance to shine, and in a historic 13-0 win against Thailand, boy do they make a controversial statement. Christen notches an assist after she’s subbed in for Tobin because they would be too powerful together on the field. After a few days of rest (and being caught on a live stream with their arms around each other), they play their next game against Chile and while they don’t win 13-0 (which is mostly because Christen gets denied so many times) 3-0 qualifies them for the round of 16. Next up is Sweden and they win 2-0 where Tobin even scores a goal! (Fifa says it’s an own goal but there are lots of things we don’t like about Fifa). Getting first in the group means Spain is our Round of 16 opponent and after a bit of suffering, and Christen’s 2 whole minutes of play time, we win 2-1. Then, it was time for the most anticipated match of the World Cup. A quarterfinal between the USA and France in Paris. Spoiler Alert: WE WON MOTHERFUCKERS and we even got an adorable hug afterward. Tobin scored ANOTHER GOAL but Fifa is plotting against her and it was called offsides. Now a semifinal versus England awaits.

July So… I don’t even know where to begin with this absolutely crazy month. All I can say is... you’re not ready. Guess what! Christen got the start against England and silenced all her skeptics in the 10th minute when she scored a beautiful header! After falling to the ground in pure emotion, Tobin basically nuzzled her head into Chris’s neck in celebration and it was an absolutely beautiful moment for many reasons. The US went on to win and the final would be the USWNT vs the Netherlands. After waiting a little longer to score than usual, THE UNITED STATES WOMEN’S NATIONAL SOCCER TEAM WAS BACK TO BACK, 4-TIME, WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS!!!! TOBIN HEATH AND CHRISTEN PRESS ARE TWO TIME WORLD CUP CHAMPIONS! Tobin ran straight to Christen after the final whistle because they did it together this time. That’s not all though, during the trophy presentation, in the midst of everyone else’s celebration, Tobin looked and Christen and Christen looked at Tobin and they hugged and basically recreated the iconic photo from 4 years ago and I’M STILL NOT OVER IT AND I WILL NEVER BE AND YOU SHOULDN’T BE EITHER. THEN, after ALL of that, T&C decided to go lay in the confetti together and Christen adorably let Tobin throw confetti all over her and I STILL CAN’T. Not to even MENTION the baby Tobin collected and showed to Chris because they’re so domestic™ before Chris decided to adjust Tobin’s medal because they’re also soft™. The real celebration began afterward in the locker room and a lot of alcohol was consumed, but all Chris was worried about was keeping her hair dry with a little blue towel. The next day, after a transatlantic flight and us wondering how they’re going to survive, the team arrived in New York City and the party's just getting started because the day after that the entire team is a guest on Good Morning America. We’re not done yet because the NEXT morning a ticker tape parade through the Canyon of Heroes awaits them (don’t worry, they were on the same float) before a cross-continental flight to LA just in time for the ESPYS (Tobin is apparently dragged, but it was fun). Tobin looks way too damn good in christen’s her v-neck suit, even though her shoe/sunglasses choice was questionable. Christen blessed us with a yellow v-neck suit and both girls were truly “stuntin” on us. THEN THE DAY WE F U C K I N G DIED!!! I’m not even joking. It started out innocent enough (which it really wasn’t but whatever). Christen posted of photo of JUST them together on the float and captioned it “blissful and grateful”. It was already more than we asked for but THEN she started posting pictures of JUST them at the ESPYS on her story and by this point we were already not OKAY. THEN Tobin decided she wasn’t PLAYING AROUND and posted pictures of JUST them on the red carpet and THEN THAT FUCKING VIDEO. T H E STORY TO END ALL INSTA STORIES. What was the video, you ask? Well, what are the New Chicago Bulls Fire J1s… from Travis Scott? Did you see them? How did she get those they’re not even released yet? Watch at your own risk. Finally, both girls decide to decompress and took mini vacay to Los Cabos because why not, you’re world cup champions, and after re-freshing they both fly home to Portland. Of course, their first game back in the NWSL is against each other because only the most chaotic energy is allowed this month. Christen scores the eventual GOTW but the game ends in a tie. Not to worry though because the next week Tobin notches two beautiful assists in the homecoming game against Houston and Christen produces another beautiful GOTW in a game that Tobin attends wearing while wearing a #23 snapback. They really refuse to be separated for more than a few days. Then, as it turns out, they both head back to Portland proving that Tobin’s excursion to Utah really was extra™ and we can only hope we’ll never come down from this content high.

August Just when we thought we were spoiled by world cup content, the girls decided they’re not done yet and we’re blessed with a TC goal during the first of the Victory Tour games versus Republic of Ireland (foreshadowing: it’s not the first of the month). Christen serves a lovely ball right to Tobin’s head and they were sure to hug adorably in celebration. Before heading back to their clubs, Re-inc hosts an event called ResetTheTable, which is basically a dinner party filled with beautiful people (in body and mind). After returning to Utah Christen scores a brace in a midweek game and helps win another so NWSL rightfully makes her Player of the Week. Then, CP heads to NYC to appear on morning talk shows to educate us about the USWNT lawsuit while looking absolutely stunning. In their last club games before international break, Christen gets another goal, and wins GOTW for the third time, and Tobin’s assists continue to grow (it probably helps that Chris goes to watch her). Their travel has been extra™ this month but it’s what you do for love. Finally, they both head to Philly for camp before playing against Portugal and we get ANOTHER TC GOAL. Christen is getting really good at assisting Tobes.

September The second round of victory tour games conclude at the beginning of the month, but Tobes and Chris are pretty adorable at open training before their second win over Portugal. Oh, Christen gets another assist so her total for 2019 is up to… 11! (that’s the leader of the national team). Then, it’s time for Battle of the Baes 2.0 and this time Christen comes out on top. Tobin ends up winning GOTW on week 23… hmm… and the Thorns clinch a playoff spot. Unfortunately, even with Christen’s header, Utah misses out again.

October After celebrating their 2019 Women’s World Cup win one more time, the victory tour games conclude in with a pair of games against South Korea. The first one is pretty uneventful, and so is the second (except for the sendoff). Tobin and Chris return to their clubs to play their last nwsl games of the season and the Thorns move on to the postseason. They face Chicago first and find themselves out of the championship game. However, Chris doesn’t seem to mind and makes her way to Portland pretty soon after. Something with re-inc seems to be brewing, but the end of the month marks the beginning of the offseason (after they play two friendlies in November, of course).

November The girls report to camp for the final time this year and everyone seems to be ready for the end of quite an incredible year but also new beginnings with a new coach. Christen and Tobin get a start against Sweden and Christen records another assist and her 50TH INTERNATIONAL GOAL!!! (Tobin may or may not fall to her knees again but that’s not important). Then, we get a TC hug and Tobin gets an assist of her own. Even after playing a game in freezing temperatures they still manage to both look adorably bundled after. The next game is even more fun than the first because Christen scores ANOTHER GOAL and we get ANOTHER TC HUG and to cap it all off we get CAPTAIN TOBIN. That’s right, CAPTAIN TOBIN (we almost got captain Christen but it’s okay). We were just barely coming down from that emotional high when the next night Pinoe brings the entire Gayng to the Glamour Awards. Tobin and Christen had a black and white moment and all I’m saying is they looked the best dressed. Re-inc launched their RWB collection and Tobin was the designer while Christen was a model. Then, Tobin decided to also be a model but in… Africa? That’s right, T and C went to South Africa for Grass Roots Soccer and they also enjoyed a safari or two before heading to London for the GRS Gala. Christen looked absolutely stunning (as always) at the event and there was no doubt that Tobin was there to support her. The holiday season has begun and at the end of the month, the girls went their separate ways to spend Thanksgiving with their families. The break was much needed and I’m sure they’re looking forward to an entire month off.

December Tobin and Christen enjoyed their month off by staying pretty quiet, but they did enjoy a snowy vacation towards the end of the month. Then, it was Christmas time and it seemed like a lot of gifts were from Tobin + Christen. Before CP’s bday could happen, they had to attend the WoSo Royal Wedding. They both looked stunning and it was just an unbelievable night in general. Finally, Christen celebrated her 31st birthday right before the decade came to an end. What a truly amazing year.

2020

January It’s the beginning of a new year and the end of the offseason, but it was still pretty quiet until the very end of the month. January Camp in Florida began in the middle of the month and didn’t stop for the 20 players named to the Olympic Qualifying roster. Obviously Tobin and Christen were and the team relocated to Texas to prepare for their group stage games of Olympic Qualifying. (Also re inc had another reset the table event). Christen started the first game against Haiti and scored a goal in the 2nd minute… talk about starting the year off with a bang. CP was also named the player of the match and she honestly seemed like she was the only one who wasn’t shaking off the rust. Unfortunately, Tobin missed out on the first game due to a slight strain but she was back in action against Panama. She even scored a no-look goal and didn’t think we would notice. Christen also added to her goal total and has now scored in 4 straight games. With two wins in their group, the USWNT has secured their spot in the semifinals and are one step closer to qualifying for the Olympics.

February Olympic Qualifying carried over into February and so did Christen’s goal scoring. CP scored two goals in the USWNT’s last group stage game against Costa Rica. The first goal she scored that game was an absolute banger and was eventually named the goal of the tournament. Also, Christen was named player of the match for the SECOND TIME of the tournament. The goal scoring didn’t stop because she scored another banger against Mexico after jumping on her own rebound. There was no way that ball wasn’t going in the back of the net. After all of this scoring and player of the match wins Christen was rightfully named best player of the entire CONCACAF tournament. She was absolutely glowing with her golden ball trophy before she gave it to her father (who was more than appreciative). Tobin was also feeling generous and gave her first place medal to a fan in the crowd (I guess that’s allowed?). After successfully qualifying for the olympics and remaining reigning CONCACAF champions, everyone had a slight break before training for the She Believes Cup began. Tobin and Christen were named to the roster, but before training could begin the gals had a photoshoot in the brand new olympic kits. I’m not saying Christen decided to debut her new engaygment ring at said photoshoot but I’m not not saying that. (Good job Tobin ;) ) It’s definitely not the offseason anymore and on February 29th, we were all leaping for joy that training camp had resumed in Florida.

March The whole gayng got to be aunties to Cassius in Florida during camp and apparently it was good luck because the USWNT won their first game in the She Believes Cup against England. It was definitely thanks to Christen’s absolute GOLAZO (the only thing she’s allowed to score against England). CHRISTEN PRESS what have you DONE. The USWNT didn’t stop and neither did Christen because in the next gain against Spain she assisted the winning goal in the 86th minute off a free kick. Christen and Tobin BOTH started against Japan and Christen was even at the number nine spot. Brownsuganumba9 lives on. It must’ve been an amazing position for her (who knew) because she scored another GOLAZO against Japan. It chipped the keeper and it was honestly filthy. CHRISTEN PRESS what did you DO. The USWNT won the She Believes Cup, but are still fighting the equal pay lawsuit against ussoccer. During the warm up of the final game of the tournament they all wore jerseys inside out to display the now iconic symbol of four stars with a blank crest. They’re in this together. Just as the USWNT played their last game, the entire world entered a quarantine. Everyone went home and it’s unclear when anyone will return to the field for club or country. However, in the midst of quarantine, there was a Surprise: Snow Storm! and Re-inc launched their posters. It has also allowed CEO Christen and the rest of the Re-inc team to start doing instagram lives in order to interact with fans. We’re in this together.

April This month began like the last one ended, still in quarantine, but that didn’t stop Re-inc from launching their BW capsule collection, but before that an absolutely INCREDIBLE photo was taken and it's pretty much the only major thing that happened this month. Thank you Miss Tobin Heath. However, all of the re-inc founders have been a lot more active on the account (probably because soccer is momentarily paused for right now). Christen found a Stacy plant and remembrance candle along with other plants for the rest of her fam. Tobin and Christen are most definitely quarantining in Portland together and will be for a while.

The following is when superdupergust took over.

May With quarantine still underway, May was all about the social media (which Christen used to flash that engaygement ring a few more times). Tobin took over re-inc's insta for a day, during which she got up surprisingly early, listened to jazz music, and killed us all with her thighs. Had you forgotten that Preath were living together? No? Well, they decided to bless us with a reminder anyway, in the form of a Zoom snippet in which T&C were adorably domestic. Then Christen surprised us with the a super gay picture of Tobin underneath a rainbow, thus winning Tobin Tuesday forever.

June Bigger and more important things were happening in June, but there were a few Preath happenings to note. Christen appeared on sportscenter and proved that she is queen of the nose boop. She was also interviewed on Load Management. Tobin debuted her ugly af new glasses, which sparked The Great Glasses Debate of 2020, and she also modeled the new Thorns kit, even though she won't be playing in it this year. We got lots of artist!Tobin content with the release of proxɘmics, and one photo was Super Extra Gay with the fridge in the background featuring not only gay art by Tobin, but a print out of a love poem Christen had posted on Insta several months before.

July July started off pretty quietly. Christen did another Instagram live - this time with chopra. re-inc teased and released the popsicle drop, but that was pretty much it. Until...THE DAY WE FUCKING DIED, PART TWO. Thanks to newly appointed gay icon Stacy's Pita Chips, we were suddenly inundated with a year's worth of content in a single day. Podcasts, pictures of T&C in the same frame, touching and looking absolutely smitten, videos where they both used terrible Zoom backgrounds to avoid giving the impression that they were in the same apartment...honestly, it was like something from a dream. Go buy some of their slightly overpriced but delicious chips right now, tbh. We owe them one. Alas, much as we would have liked July 16th to go on forever, it had to end. But the month still had one surprise up its sleeve, and it went out with a bang when Tobin decided to casually drop a pic featuring a very large new ring on a Very Important Finger. An engagement ring? A wedding ring? DEFINITELY one or the other, but no conclusive evidence as of yet. Everyone say a prayer for C to drop a pic in August...

August Alas, Christen did not provide any wedding ring evidence, but she did call Tobin her sun (if you squint a little). More cute popsicle pics dropped, and Tobin tried to murder us with her biceps. Christen did us another solid and confirmed herself as an Oregonian - we love to see it! The weeks passed, and it looked like nothing much was going to happen in August, and we were beginning to cry for content. But behold, the gods of football heard us, and we were surprised by unofficial news of T&C being loaned to Manchester United for the season...TOGETHER? Amazing. Incredible. Legendary. (Still waiting on that confirmation, though.)

September Stacy's Pita Chips is the gift that keeps on giving, and their gift this month was the first mentorship session. But it's time to get back to football, because on the tenth, it became official: Tobin and Christen would be finishing out the season at Manchester United...together. Cue screaming as Preath fans around the world suddenly began dreaming dreams of seeing them playing side-by-side once more! But football wasn't the only thing they were getting up to this month. Re-inc continued to be amazing, and teamed up with Michelle Obama and others for when we all vote. Fun side development: USWNT PA revealed that they ship Preath. How, you ask? They rolled out nothing other than a legit Preath shirt. Yes, for real. And they're not the only ones. Bless whatever Preath shipper secretly runs Manchester United's socials, because the content abounded throughout the month.

October Christen and Tobin made their debut for the Red Devils against Brighton & HA, during which Tobin got her first assist for United! Then they walked out barefoot onto the pitch together, like the marrieds they are. On the 7th, they played against Liverpool, then again on the 10th, against the Spurs. But the most exciting moment on the 10th happened just after the game...when Preath met baby Charlie (and Christen couldn't seem to keep her hands off of Tobin). Then came the 18th, vs West Ham, when Preath decided to pull off the Ultimate Football Wives move: they scored their first goals for United in the same game. In the next few days, they did some interviews together. Christen made the most adorable instagram post of all time, ostensibly as a promotion for the new re- source collection.

November November arrived, and the first game of the month was against Arsenal. Alas, neither of them scored, though Tobin did manage to get a nutmeg in under 50 seconds, because of course she did. A few days later, the expansion draft happened, and all hell broke loose when Louisville acquired the rights to both Tobin and Christen. They both stayed quiet about the change, though Tobin did not adhere to these same guidelines when she threw down some some fighting words in an interview about the upcoming Manchester Derby. Christen, meanwhile, monologued about the weather, and we loved her anyway. Then the Derby happened, and Tobin rocketed in an absolute beauty of a goal of the sort that begs to be watched on repeat. Soon, T&C were off to the Netherlands for the first USWNT camp in close to a year. In the showdown featuring the final two teams from the 2019 World Cup, Christen was starting #9, and she notched an assist just before halftime.

December We aren't the only Tobin fans, Barclays reveals when they name Tobin Player of the Month. The refs, however, aren't as convinced, and one gives her a yellow five minutes into extra time during the game versus Reading. That same day, Tobin's jawline alone converts thousands of TikTok users into woso fans (or at least causes them to briefly question their sexuality). Christen isn't playing, due to illness - non-COVID-related, thank goodness - but that doesn't stop her from being nominated for the USWNT 2020 Player of the Year. Three days later, she's doing well enough to be spotted in the stands at the game versus Everton. The game, sadly, ends in a loss, but it clearly serves as some hella good motivation. They emerge from the game versus Bristol City with a 6-1 victory, two of which are Tobin goals. The games are over for the year, but it's never been a better time to be a Preath fan, because in addition to posting several throwback pictures with Tobin on her social media over the month, Christen wishes us all a Merry Christmas (& you're welcome) by posting a picture of her and Tobin together. Interestingly, it's the same tree from Tobin's post earlier in the month. Almost like they're always in the same apartment or something. Crazy!

2021

January Sharing continues to be caring, because in addition to the Christmas tree, they also happen to share a cute lil plant. They're not always inside, though, because they go for a walk in the snow, and Christen makes some bigtime heart eyes. When the first game of the year rolls around, Tobin and Christen are both there, rather than at National Team camp, as when invitations went out, Christen was still sick, and Tobin chose to stay to help United in the January FA Women's Super League fixtures. Things take a turn, however, because Christen is the starting #9 against Chelsea, while Tobin stays on the bench all game, wearing trainers instead of boots. It's announced later that Tobin has an ankle injury, which will keep her off the field for the next 10-12 weeks, taking her out of commission for Manchester United but also ensuring she won't be competing in SheBelieves. Neither of them play in the next game, but on the last day of the month, Christen scores an absolute beauty of a goal against Everton. We can't wait to see what she has in store for February!

February It's February, and you know what that means: She Believes Cup time!! No Tobin, due to injury, but Christen is ready to rock! Things open up with a close game, as the USWNT squeaks by with a 1-0 victory against Canada. Christen scores in the 11th minute of the next game against Brazil and follows it up with an beauty of a goal in the 88th minute in the game against Argentina. With that, the US solidifies their spot as the winners of the 2021 She Believes Cup! Tobin, left behind in Manchester with nothing to do but post orange hearts on Instagram and root for her favorite girl, actually decides to join the UTD podcast and bless us with her smile as she talks about being the oldest person on the Manchester United squad.

March It turns out, Tobin did have some things keeping her busy in February - secret re-inc projects! Tobin reveals her new art, ADA (ADA as in Ada Lovelace, creator of the first computer algorithm, not as in the Americans with Disabilities Act, much to this author's initial confusion), a painting featuring binary code. CP is a proud wifey, as always. On the pitch, United plays against Aston Villa with no TC on the field, but Christen does show up looking all adorable with her beloved hot water bottle in tow. She plays in the following game against Arsenal, as well as the game against West Ham, where she scores a gorgeous goal! Back off the pitch, TC co-gift the world's largest and most expensive stuffed dog for Krashlyn's new baby daughter, Sloane, who dubs them aunties. (Take a moment to recover from the sheer cuteness.) They also *gasp* share a screen when joining in the background of the Equal Pay Day press conference at the White House, which is honestly enough to hold us over until July.

April April starts off with a bang that none of us could possibly have expected: Tobin tells Christen she loves her in a public forum, in the most adorkable way possible, causing a fandom-wide meltdown. Nothing else much happens on the Preath front this month, but this will honestly feed us for a year. With Tobin still working on recovery, Christen goes to national team camp solo, then starts against Sweden (1-1 draw) and France (2-0 USA). Back at Manchester, Christen scores a goal against Tottenham. Meanwhile, re-inc drops the Gamer Collection, and honestly no one besides Christen Press could make sweatpants look this good.

May May continues the quiet streak, but one high point is Christen becoming an ambassador for Goody hair products, which means lots of new pictures to make us (and also Tobin, probably) fall even more in love with her. She also plays her last game with Manchester United against Everton, during which she notches an assist. Once she is back stateside, she gets vaccinated. She also posts an adorable picture with her dogs, whom she has obviously missed, followed by a very LA-themed set of photos (which just might be some great foreshadowing for an event a few months following...). Tobin's radio silence is finally broken at the end of the month when she posts for her birthday, which she spends with her brother.

June June starts out on a Wild note when T&C lowkey get outed in a Pride Month Instagram story from the cake company they used for Tobin's birthday cake. The next day is Christen's sister's wedding, and Tobin is barefoot because of course she is. They add another piece of jewelry to their shared jewelry box. We also have another instance of our favorite Tobographer. Then it's time for soccer, and our favorite couple heads to Texas for camp, followed by the Summer Series. The first game is against Portugal, during which Christen gets her 40th career assist with the national team. Christen and Tobin can't wink or flirt, but they're still adorable. Next up is Jamaica, and Christen gets Woman of the Match. After that is Nigeria, and Christen scores the opening goal! We FINALLY get a look at the Olympics roster, including both T&C. Then, because June still has more to give, Christen takes over the re-inc insta for a day. As the saying goes, but wait, there's more! Christen and Tobin host a party for the reunite re-inc line. They look entirely too cute eating fruit together.

July July begins with the Send-Off Series, a two-game series against Mexico. AND BOY IS GAME ONE A GOOD ONE. Christen scores twice, and Tobin makes her grand return to football with an absolute banger basically two seconds after being subbed in. AND THERE ARE HUGS. SO MANY HUGS. IN THE RAIN. At one point they basically audition for the cover of a Nicholas Sparks novel. Then comes the second game, featuring the most ridiculous ref ever to ref, when an accidental whistle blow that players clearly didn't hear winds up disallowing an absolutely stunning Preath goal. But not to worry! We still win, and Tobin scores for the second game in a row (featuring another hug and an incredibly dorky celebration). (We're still salty, though.) Then it's officially Tokyo time! The 2021 "2020" Olympics begin with a game against Sweden that all of us would just very much like to forget. Next up is The One with All the Offsides Calls New Zealand. Both our gals get an assist, and Christen gets her first ever Olympic goal!! During practice, they're showing off some pretty out of control grounding heart eyes. Then history is made when Tobin and Christen actually post a re-inc video where they're in the same frame. And guess what? The world doesn't implode! The next game is against Australia, which ends in a nil-nil draw. But the important thing is that there's Preath hug, and in certain angles, it looks like a kiss (even though it isn't, alas). Then comes the game against the Netherlands, which is a 2-2 tie that goes to penalties. Christen is up, and every single person in the fandom collectively holds their breath, the 2016 Olympics running through our brains. But she makes it, and the camera immediately cuts to Tobin screaming her head off for her *cough*wife*cough* teammate. The US wins!

August The game against Canada sadly ends in a 0-1 loss. It takes away our chance for gold, but the silver lining (see what I did there?) is that the game is Tobin's 176th cap, officially moving her up to third place for most Olympic appearances in USWNT history. The US still has a chance for the bronze, and they play Australia for it...and emerge victorious! Christen finally has her Olympic medal!! In fact, she strangely seems to have two of them...wonder where she got the second...? The next day, the Olympic Village is the scene of some cute Preath moments, official and unofficial. Then Tobin gets on Instagram and ends the entire fandom with the absolute cutest post ever. The rest of the month is eventful: re-inc drops the Field of Flowers collection. There's a fan sighting in Jersey. And most importantly, CP to LA comes true! Angel City announces Christen as their first signing!

September The signing news doesn't end with Christen, though. Only a few days later, it's announced that Tobin is heading to Arsenal, her lifelong favorite team! LA continues to provide lots of Christen content. Which is nice, because Christen announces she's taking a short break from football to focus on herself. Therefore, Tobin is the only one at camp later in the month. The US plays Paraguay for back-to-back games, and sadly the Paraguayan national team doesn't let this author sneak aboard their plane to see the game in person. Still, the US wins decidedly with a final score of 9-0 on the first night and 8-0 on the second, with one of the goals in Game #1 coming from Tobin. Then Tobin is off to England. Christen also declares she'll be going on a journey...which also strangely happens to lead her to Tobin's first Arsenal game...and her second, where they share a hug after the game, despite not even being on the field together. We love to see it. :')

October In progress

#mobile timeline

[haleigh-sloth]

What are some things that make you happy? ヾ(＾-＾)ノ

🥺

Oh Boy. Where do I start lol

Well, first and foremost--these assholes.

Next--ART! I have art up all over my home and I am always buying more of it to add, and one day I will run out of room on my walls from all the art. I also have art on my body! Lots of tattoos, and I plan to get more 💪🏼

Next--DRAWING! I like to make my own art too. I used to paint a lot and eventually would like to get back into it when I no longer have a shit job.

Then--COFFEE!! AND coffee mugs! Seriously, my coffee collection and coffee mug collection is just a tad bit insane. I'll also add TEA to this list since I also have a shit ton of tea in my collection. I'll provide a picture of my collection.

Then--BEING OUTSIDE! I love being outside, walking trails, taking my dogs on walks. The problem is....Texas air is like breathing and existing in a sweaty arm pit, so I don't actually spend as much time outside in the sun as I'd like to. It's awful and I hate it here and can't wait to move somewhere drier and colder, and with more....outside things. I just visited Colorado and climbed fucking mountains, rode in a train to the top of Pikes Peak (a big ass mountain) and hiked up enormous rocks and stairs to high altitudes and it was the best experience of my life. I'm pretty sunburnt. And I returned home today and my sadness is at an all time high....there are no mountains here. (I have a job interview for a school in Colorado tomorrow so pray for me 🙏🏼)

Here’s some of the beauty I saw this past weekend

I’m 14,000 feet high on a mountain in this one ^^^

LAST but not least—seriously being able to get on here and gush about a piece of fiction without people thinking I’m weird for looking so deep into fictional characters and talking about them in depth—that also makes me incredibly happy. And because I’m in such a horrid state of being right now, if not for being able to do this on tumblr I might actually have lost my shit a very long time ago.

Thank you for asking anon 😭 this put me in a good mood.

These are some of the things that make me happy.

#personal #happy #happiness #anonymous #🥺 #this was very nice #I appreciate it more than I can express lol

[alecmagnuslwb]

On the Road

Read on AO3

It starts at a gas station in Ohio, Isabelle spots her from over the aisle of snacks her arms filled with bags of endless things. She’s beautiful half her curly hair braided back, her shoulders bare in a bright yellow tank top and her arms barely visible under all the snacks.

Izzy lowers her sunglasses and admires while she takes a sip of her Icee. The pretty girl ends up in front of her in line, paying the cashier with a smile. She looks like sunshine when she smiles. Izzy pays for the Icee and watches her go. She stops at a beat-up old Honda civic and tosses her bags of snacks through the back window before crawling into the passenger seat and over into the driver’s seat and taking off.

Most likely a jammed driver’s side door which makes Izzy smile, she’s been there before.

Izzy smiles as she watches her go, climbing into her own perfect condition Chevy Impala a little longingly wishing she’d at least gotten the name of the beautiful girl instead of just watching her go.

She spends the night with a blonde bombshell in Indiana and a man with a six pack who’s name she forgets by morning in Illinois the sunshine beauty still on her mind.

Missouri is just a pass-through state for her she finds an only somewhat sketchy looking little diner at two a.m. to stop in and settle her rumbling stomach. She walks in the door a grumpy looking older man behind the counter tossing a menu at her without a care when she spots her again.

Sunshine. She’s sitting at the other end of the counter counting out her money to pay her bill. She gets up just as Izzy settles into her own stool. She’s wearing orange this time with a black leather jacket over top, she’s just as gorgeous as she remembers her being in Ohio. Sunshine moves so fast out the door that Izzy doesn’t even have time to open her mouth to get her attention. Izzy contemplates chasing after her, but she knows she’d only see a stalker if someone chased her into a parking lot at this hour.

She sighs ordering the biggest burger on the menu and once again thinking of the girl who looks like sunshine when she smiles.

A week later, impossibly and inexplicably she sees her again just outside of Dallas. It’s another gas station, Isabelle leaning against her cherry red car slurping on another half blue, half red with a spritz of coke Icee when Sunshine pulls up to the pump opposite of her.

She’s wearing red today with a pair of black high waisted shorts that are doing wonders for her everything. Heart shaped sunglasses adorn her eyes and slip a bit when she crawls over into her passenger seat to get out of the car. She sweeps across the hot, dusty Texas gas station her hair bouncing with every step as swings open the door.

Izzy watches her go and this time resolves to meet the beauty who’s crossed her path so many times, yet drifted away. There’s no way they meet by chance again, three times is unbelievable enough, four is totally unlikely.

She settles on the hood of her car, one leg stretched out knowing exactly how good she looks in her white jeans and thin gray shirt with her ruby lips wrapped around her straw.

Sunshine comes out of the station a few minutes later, her arms once again filled with heavy bags of snacks just like in Ohio.

She slows her steps once she spots Izzy titling her sunglasses down for a moment with a smirk before sticking her bags in through the window.

“You know,” she says turning to face her, leaning against her own car. Her voice is just as lovely as Izzy hoped it would be. “Sitting like that is gonna get you all sorts of attention.”

Izzy smiles and slides down off the hood. Her drink sloshing a bit but none landing on her or the car.

“I was aiming for just one kind of attention,” she says walking over to Sunshine’s car with a knowing smile. “I’m Isabelle,” she says once she reaches her holding out a hand. “But my friends call me Izzy.”

Sunshine takes it with a smile.

“We’re friends now, huh,” she says shaking the offered hand and Izzy nods taking a sip of her drink. “I’m Maia,” she says putting a pretty name to her pretty face. She studies Izzy for a moment like she’s trying to figure something out.

“You were behind me in a gas station in Ohio weren’t you?” she says tapping her lip in thought. It draws Izzy’s attention to them and has her wondering how those plush lips might feel beneath her own.

“I was,” she beams shaking thoughts of lips away for the moment. “And a diner in Missouri, but you were in a rush and I don’t think you saw me.”

Maia shakes her head. “You’re hard to miss, but I guess I did that second time.”

Izzy doesn’t mind, not when she’s admitting that she noticed her at all.

“Where you headed now?” she asks hoping they have similar destinations. She’s working her way to San Francisco where a new job alongside her brother in-law and her excited brother awaits. She tells Maia that and she smiles reaching into her backseat and tearing open a bag of chips.

“Well what are the chances. It’s San Francisco for me too, fresh start and all that,” Maia says waving a hand and not going any further into detail as she pops a chip into her mouth. “I’m taking my time though, making a few stops along the way.”

Izzy nods, “Same here. Maybe we can hit a few tourist spots together, huh?”

Maia smiles that sunshine smile.

“Maybe. I’ve got a stop in Colorado that’s pretty personal, let’s see if we meet again after that,” Maia says stepping forward to open her passenger door. She crawls in and settles in the driver’s seat without even dropping the bag of chips.

Izzy leans down poking her head through the passenger window once the doors shut.

“Oh come on, at least let me give you my number,” she says pulling her phone out of her pocket and sticking it in the car. “What are the chances we happen to cross paths again?”

“If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be,” Maia says revving the engine and pushing Izzy’s hand back. Izzy sighs pocketing her phone. “Serendipity and all that.” She shrugs and Izzy pulls back out of the window bending down to meet Maia’s eyes.

“Serendipity?” she asks.

“Yeah, the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way,” she says hitting the gas with another one of those sunshine smiles. “It’s my favorite word. See you around Isabelle.”

Isabelle watches her go the dust picking up and brushing in her hair.

She tries in vain to force serendipity in Colorado. She stops far more times than necessary at every gas station and little diner looking for little miss Maia sunshine. She even stops at a few weird tourist traps, looking out over a UFO tower and tiptoes through a place called Tiny Town that’s name is quite literal.

She diverts through Arizona and then to Nevada which hold the same exact results. It’s when she’s staying the night in the clown motel in Tonopah looking out over her balcony a little graveyard that’s supposedly haunted staring her down that she feels like a real clown.

She should have worked harder to convince Maia to take her number, serendipity isn’t going to shine down on them no matter how hard she tries to make it.

She sleeps off the sadness of knowing that the pretty girl who fascinated her is long gone and makes the final leg of her trip. She stops a few more times her and there, but stops looking around for any sign of Maia. It just wasn’t meant to be.

“I’ll be there in like twenty minutes,” she says to her brother on the other end of the line as she drives up the latest steep hill her GPS has sent her on. It’s going to take some work for her to acclimate to this city that’s for sure. She hangs up the phone and stops at a red light just about to make another turn onto another hill when she sees her.

Maia.

She’s wearing pink today, black jeans with a matching jean jacket covered in patches pushed all the way up to her elbows. She’s standing in front of her car, arms crossed. She’s poorly parked with the hood popped open and a scowl on her face.

Izzy swerves receiving the angry honks of a fair share of other drivers as she parks in a spot just around the corner. She jumps out of her car rushing around the corner her heels slamming on the concrete and the sheer force of the steep hill taking her down closer to Maia.

“Maia!” she shouts just barely catching herself and stopping her momentum on a telephone pole. Maia looks up from where she’d been scowling angrily at her engine, her face transforming into a sunshine smile.

“Serendipity,” she says walking over to the pole Izzy is holding onto and leaning on it herself.

“Serendipity is great,” Izzy chuckles reaching out and fixing Maia’s collar. “But I’m gonna need your phone number this time.”  

Maia beams. Serendipity might be Izzy’s new favorite word too.

#my fic #maiabelle #maia roberts #isabelle lightwood #shadowhunters

[squarecarousel]

Interview with Caitlin Alexander

Well folks, we're nearly at the end of our Square Carousel journey, and there are just two interviews left – both with two of our longest-standing members! Today, we reconnect with Caitlin Alexander, who has been with the Square Carousel Collective from its very beginning almost 10 years ago. Although we've featured an interview with her here in the past, it's been so long that we are due for an update! When she's not freelancing or performing her duties as an SC admin extraordinaire, Caitlin works tirelessly on her craft, creating prints, products, hand lettered posters, and artwork that embrace the earthy beauty of nature. With a strong focus on environmentalism and a sense of community, her artwork exudes a warmth and complexity that draws the viewer in and invites them to stay a while. Read on for her gems of wisdom!

Make Earth Cool Again

Q: Comparing your early work from your first few years after college to your most recent pieces, you've kept a lot of the textural, playful essence of your style while refining certain elements. Has your process changed much since those early days, and if so, what do you now do differently? 

 A: Such a great question straight out of the gate! My process has changed quite a bit since I graduated in 2011 (almost a decade ago... yikes!). In college, part of my crafted identity as a brand-new illustrator was my traditional use of gouache paint. I actually, in all honestly, was kind of a snob about it, because so many people in our department worked solely digitally. I felt that digital painting was a crutch, which I suppose can be true in some cases, and possibly even more-so when you're applying that to college students, but I certainly had no ground to stand on. In reality, my snobbery kept me from learning critical tools, as I never took Photoshop or Illustrator classes, aside from the one that was required for graduation. This hindered my work a great deal outside of college, given that illustration is so often paired with graphic design, and editing work for clients was so much more difficult traditionally. In 2013, I got a job designing t-shirts, and lied to the company, saying I knew how to use Illustrator. Luckily it was remote, so I was able to teach myself without anyone hovering over me, but that was so foolish, looking back, given the expensive education I got at SCAD should have been my opportunity to learn those things. I introduced digital work more and more over the years, and by 2016 or so, I was primarily a digital artist. Gouache will always have a place in my heart, and I will still break out the tubes occasionally, but working digitally has allowed me to grow so much more as an illustrator, with the ability to edit, paint with more detail, and having more control over color and layering. 

Q: Of all the projects you've done in your professional career, which would you say is closest to your heart? 

 A: Probably the picture book I worked on a couple of years ago, titled "Cool For You." I had a lot of creative freedom for that project, and the subject matter of climate change is personally very important to me. Working with the author, Marianna, was really wonderful, as well. 

Cool For You book cover

Q: The Southwest influence on your work is pretty significant, and I think it's safe to assume you appreciate the majesty of the landscape in your region of the country. However, if you had to live in another state, which would you choose and why? 

 A: Funny you ask that, because I've actually considered moving from Texas to Colorado lately! The culture there is still very western, but I appreciate the liberal point of view (Texas has been grating on me lately, even living in Austin), and the landscape is even more stunning out there! I'd be close to so many inspiring National Parks. Plus, summers wouldn't be 8 months of the year and over 100 degrees for half of it! 

Travel West postcard (1 of 6)

Q: TV shows or movies? 

 A: Lately, Jordan and I have been watching New Girl on repeat. I'm not usually one to watch a show or movie over and over again, but I think we really just needed something light and fun, since life has been so very stressful over the last year.

Q: What's your favorite subject to draw? 

 A: This one is hard! I'm torn between people and landscapes. People are more fun and comfortable for me, and I could knock out a bunch of them quickly. Landscapes are always intimidating, and I'm nervous the whole time, feeling like I can't remember how I did it the time before. It's so strange, because it always ends up fine! But since I feel that way, the payoff is so much greater when I feel satisfied with the final result. 

Q: What would a perfect day look like for you? A: I probably would have answered this totally differently pre-COVID, but in this current world we live in, I would absolutely love to have what used to be a normal, uneventful weekend day for me: Jordan and I would sleep in a little, see an early afternoon movie at the Alamo Drafthouse where we'd eat lunch, then spend the rest of the afternoon browsing used book stores and estate sales, and then meet our friends at the neighborhood coffeehouse for dinner and Trivia Night. I will be so happy to have that again. 

Cover art for East Side Magazine

Book Lover Ladies series- The Book Clubbers

Q: What have you learned from your years at Square Carousel, whether organizing behind the scenes or as a contributor? 

 A: Oooof!! So SO many things! Wow... well, I'll go with the most obvious first: as a member, I learned how to continue to make portfolio-worthy work, even without jobs coming in. That was definitely the most valuable thing about Square Carousel, in my opinion, and hopefully what everyone else got out of it, as well. It can be so hard for fresh graduates to keep up that momentum, and the group saved many of us from becoming stagnant. In terms of running the group... it's been rewarding, but honestly very difficult throughout the years. There have been many ups and downs, and finding the right balance between structure and patience can be extremely challenging. I'm super proud of Elizabeth and myself (OG members!) for keeping it running through the messes-- we've been through some shit together! My major takeaway is the importance of diligence. Projects, businesses, organizations-- they all need at least a couple of people who just keep chugging along, always maintaining the structure (schedule and accountability) and balance (rules and lighthearted encouragement). 

Moth magnets

Q: As the readers are aware, Square Carousel drawing to a close soon. Do you have any plans for what you'll do with the extra time you'll have after our tri-weekly challenges end? 

 A: You know, I actually haven't thought about this too much yet. It's probably because I'll just fill it with more self-imposed projects and deadlines, since I was able to bring that skill I learned in Square Carousel into the rest of my career a while ago. (Or more real jobs! That would be ideal!) I'll miss the community though, and hope to find a way to keep that aspect of freelance life alive. Instagram friends, anyone? 

Q: What's your quirkiest habit? 

 A: Jordan told me recently that he found it weird and endearing that I joke-sing to my cats in the kitchen about really stupid stuff... so probably that! Official Cat Lady© status achieved.

Caitlin and Buster Keaton the Kitten

Q: What advice would you give to a newbie illustrator just starting out today? 

 A: I'd give them the hard advice that our professors didn't really give us in school: there is no way this is going to work out for you if you're not incredibly committed to pursuing it. Now, don't get me wrong-- I'm not telling anyone to have an unhealthy work/life balance because I think that's a toxic sentiment. But you have to keep illustrating and illustrating and illustrating, and arguably more importantly, keep networking and networking and networking. You're going to be rejected or ghosted more often than not, but if you really want it to work out, you're going to keep doing it anyway. And taking critiques if industry folks offer them, to grow and become better. Don't become stagnant in those critical building years.

Caitlin’s studio

Q: Anything else you would like the readers to know? 

A: Yes – thank you so much for supporting Square Carousel through our amazing ten years of challenges! We really appreciate everyone who has kept up with us, checking out the illustrations for each prompt and reading our posts and interviews. Y'all are wonderful, and we hope you'll continue to find us, wherever each of us fly from here! And on that sweet note, we say goodbye for now! Check out Caitlin’s website for more, and follow her on Instagram for new art when it drops.

Join us next time for our final interview!

#interview #caitlin alexander #illustrator #interviews #square Carousel #gouache #digital artist #artists on tumblr #artist interview #cba illustration

[lovlydovlyjaycie]

The Walking Dead / Supernatural: A World Changed

Hii so this is gonna be a story about a crossover but also not really a crossover from the walking dead and supernatural.

Summary: Y/N is from Boston and moved to Los Angeles to be a nanny, she’s been doing it for a while now and loves the two, soon to be three, children like they were her own. One day she goes to work and it seems like the world around her is falling apart. People are dying, unbeknownst to her they are coming back to live. She is trying to find a way so she stays alive and the people around her too and she needs help, but she’d rather does it on her own.

This part will talk more about what happened before y/n met the Winchesters. This will tell us why y/n has a hard time trusting people and staying in one place. There will be flashbacks and they are all written in italics.

Characters: Y/N, OC Alice Cattaneo , OC Mark Cattaneo , OC Birdy Cattaneo, OC Clark Cattaneo, OC Jayden Cattaneo,  Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester and more characters to come.

Warnings: DEATH, angst, language, violence. I think that is it.

I just wanna be clear, in this part and the next there will be talked about why OC Alice and OC Birdy are not in the story anymore.

Masterlist

Waiting around to die - The be good Tanyas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0SmXVrLlZ4

Part 4 Lose it all

Day 735

It was midnight and I actually got out. I decided to find a place close by where we could rest until morning, because I can’t carry two children around all night. After a little walk I found a truck a little to the side of the road and decided to climb up there and spend the night. Like that the dead ones will not be able to reach us and we can all sleep.

-

In the morning I decided to get in as many miles as I possibly could. I don’t know if they’d be coming after me to look for us or not, so it was just better to get as far away as possible. We had enough food for the next three days so we should be fine. It would be easier if I would just have a car. I was in the middle of Lebanon now. Maybe there were cars there I could start.

I think I walked around for about thirty minutes to find a car until I found a grocery store. Maybe it’s worth checking to see what is still in there. I was getting closer to the doors of the store until I heard banging on the boarded windows inside. It sounded like there was a lot of dead in there. Not worth staying around and checking how many. ‘’Come on let’s get outta here.’’ I told Clark who was holding my hand.

We started walking away quickly I don’t wanna be anywhere near here when this goes wrong. We got maybe a few yards in when I heard windows break. That doesn’t sound good. I looked back and saw the dead ones come out one by one. There were maybe ten dead ones. Too many for me to take. especially with two kids. ‘’Mommy the monsters are coming.’’ Clark said. ‘’I know lets go.’’ We walked as quickly as Clarks legs could take. But not after too long I noticed that was not quick enough, so I picked him up and started running. The dead were getting really close. Only after two minutes of running I was getting out of breath. Clark was getting so heavy and having Jayden on my back in a makeshift backpack I had put him in. I tried to keep a steady pace until I fell over something that was on the ground. ‘’Of course this has to happen.’’ I said under my breath. I tried getting up so we could go on and keep moving out of there, but my ankle was hurting so much. Then I heard screeching tires from an enormous truck. It stopped right in front of us. It was a SWAT truck. Something on the roof went up and I saw machine guns come out. Oh shit. I ducked and put Clark and Jayden under me. The guns started shooting and the bodies started falling to the ground. I looked back and saw all the dead ones were on the ground. A woman got out the truck with shot hair. ‘’Hey are you and your kids alright?’’ She asked. ‘’Uhm, Yes thank you.’’ I looked at her a bit in shock. she doesn’t look like she’s in a SWAT team and it certainly looks like she’s alone. ‘’ I’m Al. I’m a journalist, would you mind telling me your story?’’

Al took Clark, Jayden and I over to a farm that had enough coverage from trees. I trusted her to get us here safely, she did save us from a lot of dead ones after all. ‘’Is she going to help us now?’’ Asked Clark quietly. This is all so confusing for them of course. I mean one moment it is ok to go with stranger, Dean and Sam, and then the other moment we sneak out. What kinda example am I? ‘’I don’t know yet Clark.. we have to wait and see.’’ I felt bad that I didn’t have a better answer. In all honesty... I didn’t know what I was doing and I hated that. ‘’Why did we leave the other people?’’ Clark asked. ‘’I- I.. it’s better like this... the three of us.’’ I tried to sound very convincing, but I didn’t even believe myself. I thought it was the right thing to do, but now.. I’m not so sure.

‘’Alright I got everything set up. When ever you’re ready.’’ Al said. She was referring to the place she set up for me to tell my story. I wanted to tell someone so bad what happened to me in the past two years so badly, but I promised I would keep it to myself. I’ve been living this lie for so long.. do I even know the truth, the full truth. ‘’I guess I’m ready.’’ I said as I picked up Jayden. He doesn’t say a lot yet. Only mamma, bubba which means Clark and a few other handful of words. It’s my fault he doesn’t talk much. If I just had the time to teach him some more words, but because we’re always on the move I don’t have time for it. We have to be quiet. I walked up to the place Al set up and sat down on a box where I had to sit down. ‘’Alright we’re rolling. Why don’t you start with your name and your kids’ and tell me where you’re from.’’ I nodded my head. ‘’Uhmm well, I’m y/f/n and this here is Jayden and that is Clark over there. We’re from LA.’’ I motioned to Clark who was playing with some sticks he had found. Al turned around and got him on camera. ‘’That’s a long way. How did you end up in Kansas?’’ She asked. I promised I wouldn’t tell I didn’t know she wanted my story really from that far back. ‘’It doesn’t matter, but how we got here to you was because we left some people.’’ I stated. My heart started beating faster and I held Jayden a little closer. I was getting nervous and Al could clearly see this. ‘’I see, but I wanna know your full story.. If you’re worried about anybody else seeing this, you don’t have to worry. I’ll keep it safe somewhere no one for a long time will get it.’’ She tried to reassure me. ‘’Then why do this, if no one is gonna see this anyway.’’ I really wanted to tell someone my story, but I’m not sure if I can risk it. ‘’Because some day someone will and they will see how we lived and how we survived or had to survive. Everybody has a story, I just record them and put them away and let time deal with it.’’ She told me, she was trying to make sure that I felt comfortable with this, but still I wasn’t convinced. ‘’Where are you gonna put them away?’’ I asked. ‘’I have a place in Texas where I’m headed to. I have a safe there. I promise you, your story will be safe with me. Whatever your story is.’’ I let out a deep breath. Fine, it might do me good to get this off my chest. ‘’Alright I trust you. I’m y/f/n and this is Jayden Cattaneo and that is Clark Cattaneo. Before this, I was their nanny.’’ 

-

Day 28

It took me and Alice twenty-eight days to finally get to Colorado. It took about five days to get out of Los Angeles alone. They bombed Los Angeles after two week of trying to control everything. Luckily for us I guess we were far enough away from it when it happened. But we definitely felt the earth shake and heard the screams afterwards. They still haunt me. It was so hard getting to Colorado, but the hardest part was getting through the mountains in Colorado. There were either bears trying to eat us or the dead.. Which still sounds insane to me. I’ve been the one mostly killing the dead, since Alice is pregnant and we’re with kids. I think I’ve killed like thirteen of the dead. Which is insane. Deep in thought I looked around. Alice was driving through some abandoned town. I looked in the back of the car. Clark was sleeping, he was so peaceful and oblivious to the world. Birdy was looking around, she was trying to understand the world. She knew the monsters are bad and if you get bit that that’s even worse. That’s what we told her. I mean what are you supposed to tell a three year old about the world going to shit. Even if we didn’t tell her I know she’d figure it out anyway, she’s so smart. She looked at me. ‘’Y/n, do you know when we’re gonna see daddy?’’ She asked. I smiled at her. ‘’Very soon, Birdy. We’re almost there.’’ She looked back at the window trying to see what ever she could see outside, maybe her dad. ‘’I think we should make camp here and then I think we should be at the army base tomorrow.’’ Alice told when she drove up to a house that had covering from all the trees. It looked secluded, it looked safe. ‘’Alright, let me check around if there are any monsters. Then I’ll come back when it’s safe.’’ I told them. I stepped out of the car with a hand gun and went towards the house.

I looked through the windows and tapped them. It looked like there was nobody in there. I went towards the front door and opened it. Not locked. I was on alert, hopefully nothing would jump on me. Walking in the hallway there was nobody there, not in the living room, kitchen, bedrooms and bathrooms, it was safe. I walked back and said they could come in. I got Birdy out of her car seat and we both got our stuff and walked towards the house. It was getting dark and cloudy, it might rain soon. 

Later that evening we were eating beans for the hundredth time since the world ended. The people that had lived here before probably left this place with all the good food. We were all getting over eating beans, but Clark always seemed to be happy with any kind of food. He was easy to please. Good, he didn’t need much. Birdy was telling about all the things she saw when we were driving. a lot of wild animals also a few monsters, but she didn’t seem to be afraid of it, at least not while she was talking about it. Alice was always so happy to hear her talk about everything and everything. It was probably distracting her from this long trip to get to Colorado and to Mark. It made me feel sad that it took us so long to get here, but now where so close. It was only one more day and we should be there.

After dinner Alice cleaned up everything while I was with Birdy and Clark. We were playing with some toy cars we found along the way. Clark was like a sponge, he’d soak up any word we’d say to him. You could almost have a whole conversation with him. ‘’No Clark, the cars have to go this way.’’ Birdy said and pulled the car out of his hands. ‘’Hey, Birdy, that is Clarks car, can you give it back please?’’ I told Birdy. ‘’Car, Car, No.’’ Clark said. ‘’See he wants to play. If you just show him where to go, he’ll follow you, he’s smart just like you.’’ She looked at Clark and gave him the car back. ‘’Car.’’ Clark said. ‘’Ok Bubba, follow me.’’ She said. And Clark did like she told him. I smiled. They were following each other and making car noises. ‘’Vrooommmm.’’ Clark imitated and so did Birdy. Both going around the living room. I looked outside it was raining now, just as I expected. It was so calming after all this chaos. Then I heard something looked shatter on the ground. ‘’I’m sorry, I’m sorry.’’ Birdy said while she was picking up pieces from a vase that fell. ‘’It’s ok. It’s raining outside. The monsters won’t hear us. It’s ok.’’ I walked towards Birdy and told Clark to go look for mamma so he wouldn’t touch the pieces of glass on the floor. ‘’Let me do it, it’s ok.’’ I told Birdy. I started picking up the pieces and then saw that she had a cut on her upper arm, probably that’s how it fell. ‘’You ok Birdy? Why don’t you go to mamma, she can help you with that.’’ I told Birdy. ‘’I’m ok. I’m brave.’’ She answered back. I smiled at her. ‘’I know you’re brave, but you have a cut on your arm and we don’t want to have it get infected ok.’’ Birdy nodded her head and walked to the kitchen where Alice was. I cleaned up all the pieces that had fallen on the ground and made sure there was nothing left. Outside I saw a trashcan earlier, so I walked out in the rain and put it in there. ‘’Not like the trash is gonna be picked up anytime soon.’’ I said under my breath. And I stood there for a while in the cold rain. I closed my eyes and put my face up towards the sky. This was probably the closest thing that I would be getting to a shower. After taking the short moment in I walked back inside. Alice was making them ready for ‘bed’ which was in this case one of the couches these people had and a big chair for Birdy that was next to the couch where Clark was laying down. Alice was telling them a story for them to fall asleep.

After a while when both Birdy and Clark had fallen asleep Alice walked up to me. ‘’I’ll take the first shift, you get some rest.’’ She told me. ‘’Alice you’ve been driving for four hours today with no stops.. and let’s not forget you’re pregnant. I’ll take the first one, you get some rest ok.’’ She nodded her head. and walked towards the other couch and laid down. I got the handgun we had put away from the children and sat on the stairs by the front door.

After a couple of uneventful hours it was Alice’s turn to keep watch and for me to sleep.

Day 29

‘‘Aaahh.’‘ I got woken up by a scream. It was Alice. The was a dead one inside. I went right in to action and got a remote that was on the table. I ran towards the dead and tried to hit it in the head. Which was wishful thinking, cause how am I supposed to kill one of them with a remote. I pulled the dead off Alice and fell on the floor with the dead on top of me. I could only try to push him off me and to try and not have him bite me. All of a sudden I see Birdy running up with a big book in her hands and hitting the dead. ‘‘NO BIRDY GET BACK!’‘ The monster was trying to get to Birdy now and got her arm. She fell on the ground with the dead getting way too close for my liking. I grabbed the book that Birdy had dropped and hit the monster in the head. I hit him hard enough where he fell over. But before he tried to get up I gathered all my strength and put the book right through his face. He was really dead now. In all of this I just now heard Clark crying.

‘‘Birdy are you ok?’‘ I asked straight away. ‘‘I’m ok, I was brave.’‘ She said while he stood up and grabbed her arm. ‘‘Did he try to grab your arm there? Let me take a look.’‘ I said walking towards her. ‘‘It’s the cut.’‘ She said and put the band aid over where she got her cut yesterday. I wanted to walk towards Clark to make sure he was ok, but I heard some muffled noises behind me. Alice. She was in pain. ‘‘I’m ok. I just kinda fell down the stairs, but I’m ok. I’m sorry, I fell asleep and then all of a sudden there was a dead one. I’m so sorry.’’ Alice apologized. ‘’It’s ok, nobody got bit.’’ I helped Alice up and walk her towards the couch. Birdy was reassuring Clark. She is so protective of him it was so sweet.

-

After the whole incident we got out of there pretty quickly. We were about two minutes away from the base now and I was driving. Alice still looked a little uncomfortable from the fall, but the excitement on her face was more noticeable. She was finally going to see her husband again. Birdy and Clark were finally going to see their dad again. Meanwhile I was thinking on what I should do after we get there. I kinda wanna try and get to Boston, to my family, if they’re still alive. I had to know if they were.

And then we saw it Fort Carson. The army base where Mark should be. We were coming up to the gates and the guards were pointing their guns at us, machine guns. I stopped the car. ‘’Let me go out and talk to them, they’ll see I’m pregnant, they won’t shoot.’’ Alice told me. It was our best option. ‘’Alright, be careful.’’ I gave her a smile. She went out of the car with her hands up and closed the door. ‘’Mamma.’’ Clark said. ‘’Mamma will be right back, she’s going to talk to those people to see if your daddy is there.’’ I told both Clark and Birdy. It was going to be ok, this is why we took this trip. We’ll be safe here.

Five people of the army came walking outside. They all had machineguns and two handguns strapped on their belts. They were pointing them down. I’m assuming they have more weapons, but I couldn’t see it. Alice put her hands down and motioned for me to come. ‘’Can you get Clark?’’ I nodded and walked to the side where Clark was strapped in behind the drivers seat. ‘’Mamma.’’ He said again. ‘’Mamma id right there.’’ I told him as I pointed to Alice. He was moving around wanting to get out of my grip so I let him go and he ran to Alice. ‘’Come here little Bubbers.’’ Alice said. ‘’Birdy go to y/n and hold her hand.’’ She walked towards me and grabbed my hand. ‘’Everything is ok.’’ I reassured her, she looked a bit scared, but when I told her that she put up her brave face. ‘’ I’m sergeant Tyler, this is Michael, Tony, Billy and Mason. It’s safe inhere and we can check for your husband Mark when were inside. a lot of people have been going in and out lately. We just need to check if you are infected with this.’’ He pointed to a device that he was holding. ‘’What are your names.?’’ Sergeant Tyler asked. ‘’This Is Clark.’’ She said while holding Clark. ‘’That is his big sister Birdy and that is.. or was our nanny y/n. She has helped us a lot along the way to get here. She’s basically family.’’ She told them. I just gave them an awkward wave. ‘’Alright, but when you get inside we will have to separate you for a little bit. Security reasons.’’ He smiled in the most disturbing way. I brushed the comment off like it wasn’t weird. ‘’That’s alright, but I am allowed to get back to them right?’’ I asked, they were basically family now and I wanted to make sure they were safe. ‘’Sure, of course all in due time.’’ Sergeant Tyler responded back. He didn’t sit right with me. ‘’Well lets get you checked out and get you inside.’’ Sergeant Tyler gave the device to the soldier Michael who was standing next to him. Michael, sergeant Tyler and Billy walked towards us. Birdy was hiding a little bit behind me. I crouched down to her eye level. ‘’It’s ok. They’re gonna check if we’re sick and if we’re not we can go in. I’ll go first, you’ll see it’s fine.’’ I tried to reassure Birdy. ‘’Ok, y/n.’’ She said. ‘’I’ll put on my brave face.’’ She told me. ‘’And so will I.’’ I said. ‘’Let me go first’’  I told Michael. He nodded and walked towards me. He put the device up against my head and it made one beep. ‘’Safe.’’ He said. ‘’Alright Tony, Mason take her inside.’’ Sergeant Tyler said. ‘’We’ll see each other inside, you’ll be ok Birdy.’’ I gave her a kiss on the head and let her hand go, she went straight for Alice’s leg and held on to her. Then I gave Clark a kiss on his head and Alice a hug. ‘’I’ll see you inside ok.’’ I told them one more time and then I got escorted by Mason and Tony. I looked back and saw Alice crouching down next to Birdy, it was Birdy’s turn. 

Walking up to the gate I didn’t see a lot of people inside at all. Then I heard screaming. I tried to look back but, Mason and Tony were holding me. What was going on? BANG! My heart started racing, that was a gunshot. I gathered all the strength I got and finally turned around. I saw Birdy laying in the ground, still. there was blood pooling around her tiny body. ‘’NOO!’’ Alice was screaming crying next to her and so was Clark. I felt my whole body rush with adrenaline and I only saw red. Everything started going in slow-motion. Mason and Tony were trying to grab me, but in doing so they had their hands full with me, so I did the most logical thing and grabbed Masons handgun that was strapped on his belt and shot him in his head. Then I shot Tony and took his machine gun from his body that dropped down. I ran over to Alice and Clark. Billy tried to shoot at me, but I was faster. ‘’RUN!’’ I yelled at Alice. She grabbed Clark in tears. In an opening I grabbed Michael by his shoulder and was pointing the gun at his back. ‘’DROP YOUR WEAPONS!’’ I yelled at them. Michael did as he was told. Tyler was taking a few steps back. ‘’Think about this for a second.’’ He said. ‘’You’ll die out there.’’ He said while trying to point the gun at me, but I was hiding behind Michael. ‘’JUST LET IT GO MAN, YOU FUCKED UP.” Michael said. ‘’You shouldn’t have done that.’’ It was Tyler that did it then. I wanted to strangle him, but I had to think about this for a second. Tyler was not shooting me because I had Michael. I had leverage. ‘’You’re dead here too, I just killed your friends. You pick her up carefully.’’ I pressed my gun into Michaels back to make him hurry up. He slowly crouched down and picked Birdy up. I crouched down with him. ‘’Now you sergeant stay here. Or this friend of yours will also get a bullet in his head.’’ I threatened. My whole body was shaking from adrenaline. We backed up slowly, towards the woods that Alice and Clark ran in.

  Birdy just got killed and I killed three people.

...

..

.

This was a lot. Let me know what you think.

#dean #dean winchester x reader #dean x reader #dean x you #deanwinchtser #sam winchester #supernatural #the walking dead #twd fanfiction #twd #famfiction #fanfic #supernatural fanfic #Dean Winchester #angst

[lost-n-stereo]

Harry/Allie: Decision

“Let’s go to California! They have beaches and Disneyland and Hollywood.”

Harry rolls his eyes, watches Allie’s finger as it draws lines across the map that’s laid out in front of her. She’s on her stomach with her legs bent in the air, her toenails painted a bright pink she swears makes her skin look tanner. Allie looks up at him with the question in her eyes and he shakes his head.

“Southern California will be packed full of parents and snotty kids on summer vacation. What else is on the list?”

She bites down on her bottom lip in the adorable way that he loves and scrolls through her phone. Knowing her she probably Googled The best road trips to take during the summer because he knows his girl and she’s nothing if not always informed. And the way he sees it, he’s got a stupidly fast car and almost bottomless pockets. Once they decide on where to go, he’s going to take her there and make sure she has the time of her life.

“New Orleans?”

“Hmm…too hot.”

“Texas?”

“Too country and also too hot.”

Allie snorts. “You do realize every state in the country has air conditioning right?”

“I’d just like to go outside without my face melting off. I mean, look at it, Al. This is my money maker,” he says, waving a finger in front of his face. “We both know you wouldn’t love me as much if I didn’t have all this going on.”

“You’re an idiot,” she says without heat as she continues scrolling on her phone. “North, then.”

She starts a new internet search, lists off a hundred (or like ten) more places that he shoots down.

“Look, if you don’t want to go…”

Her face sort of falls and he sighs, gets down on the floor with her and kisses her head. “Of course I want to go. I’m sorry for being indecisive.” He turns the map so it’s in front of both of them. “Look, let’s close our eyes and both point to somewhere on the map. If we don’t choose the same place, we meet in the middle.”

“Really? Just like that?”

Harry shrugs. “Why not? I can stop being an asshole that can’t make up his mind and we get a story we can tell our kids someday.”

Allie doesn’t say anything about his little slip up about their future and neither does he. They are still kids themselves, not even 20 yet. Allie just graduated high school and this whole road trip is to celebrate her finally joining him in New York in the fall. It doesn’t mean he hasn’t entertained the idea that they could be long term, as in maybe for the rest of his life. But for now he wants to be nineteen, spending three months on the road with a girl he can’t get enough of.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

They close their eyes and Harry counts them down, telling her to drop her finger anywhere on the count of three. He aims for north, or what he assumes to be north, because he wasn’t really joking about not wanting to go somewhere hot. He was born and raised in Connecticut where the summers are relatively mild. There’s no way he wants to sweat through all of his shirts before noon every day.

“Is your finger down?” She asks and he snorts and tells her that it is. “Okay, open your eyes.”

Harry looks down at the map and laughs. “No way did we choose the same spot.”

Allie smiles, looks at where they are both near the Oregon and Washington area. “Well, not exactly the same but I’d say we found our place.”

So that’s how they end up on a road trip to the Pacific Northwest.

There’s almost 3000 miles between them and their destination. They take turns driving, because Allie is a good driver and he trusts her with his car. She gives him this sexy as hell look when he tells her that while they are driving through Colorado, slides her aviators back down her face and puts her foot on the gas. It’s fucking sexy and he makes sure to tell her that when they stop for the night.

It takes them five days to get there, because they stop almost constantly so Allie can see this or that along the way. He doesn’t mind. She gets this cute little smile on her face as she takes photos of roadside attractions and she’s created a hashtag for Instagram to chronicle their entire trip. She’s fucking cute, sue him for noticing.

When they finally cross the border into Oregon she’s practically jumping in her seat. Crater Lake isn’t much further and he can’t wait to get out of this car and stretch his legs and breath in some fresh air. They plan to camp and hike, and he thinks it’ll be fun to teach her how to fish if she’s willing to learn. His dad taught him the summer he turned twelve and it’s something they did a lot together before he died.

They are both stunned silent when they see the lake for the first time. It’s the deepest in the country, the bluest thing he’s ever seen in his entire life.

“It’s fucking beautiful,” Allie says, her hand reaching down to hold his between them. “I’m so glad this is where we ended up.”

Harry tears his eyes away from the lake to look at her, the way the wind is whipping her hair around as her eyes dance across the landscape.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, as if not to disturb the serene stillness of their surroundings. “Me too.”

#hallie #hallie fanfiction #harry and allie #harry bingham #allie pressman #the society #fanfic #drabble #livinginrhythm

[the-bummer-set]

California Dreamin’-- Billy Hargrove One Shot

Pairings: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Warnings: Smut... some very modest smut, but smut nonetheless

   After spending a year in Hawkins, Indiana, the only thing Billy wanted was to get out of there. He worked all summer at the community pool saving up whatever he could. He gathered up all of his belongings, which didn't amount to much, in a duffel bag and grabbed his car key.  

 The car was his mother's. The only thing she left him, with the exception of a little bit of money, most of which his father spent on moving out to Hawkins. Billy was exceptionally bitter about that at first, but now that he had his money tucked safely in his glove box all of his bitterness faded.  

  He didn't bother leaving a note, if they even noticed Billy's absence, it wouldn't take to long for them to figure out where he was going. When Billy started to plan his great escape he started with a list of places he always wanted to go. See the east coast, visit Florida, spend winter in Colorado, see the Grand Canyon, get lost in Yellowstone. All the places no one expected him to go. Just disappear. But, his heart was always in only one place.

  The camaro had a full tank of gas, his last stop before coming back to his house in Hawkins one final time the night before. He threw the bag in the back seat and got in. His plan was to get through Illinois before taking a break. An easy feat since he always enjoyed driving. He grabbed the map out of the glove box  and unfolded it. In the moonlight he could make out his route, folded it back up, and turned the ignition.

          _______Missouri Loves Company_____

  Illinois was the same as Indiana. Boring, smell of early morning cow shit, and middle America wasteland. It was a mere blip on Billy's radar. The sun was rising now, it came from behind him lighting up his path before him. The city of Saint Louis glistened like a diamond on the horizon. This was Billy's first stop. Breakfast and a gas fill up. Once both him and the camaro were full, he made his way back to Interstate 44. Continuing westward to his final destination.

    Saint Louis seemed to be the only sign of civilization for a while. The interstate was a modern cut in old timey farm land. Billy marveled at the surrounding areas. It was just like Hawkins, but with an asphalt scar running through it all. Traffic was picking up here an there, but most got off at the next main Missouri Hub... Springfield.

  Billy turned the radio up, he found a station in Springfield that played all his favorite songs. A surefire sign that things were starting to look up. That's when he noticed something on the side of the road.

  No woman should be out walking on the interstate. Clad in a long gray skirt and a black tank top the woman shifted the bag and guitar case while sticking out her thumb. Billy slowed down, what would it hurt to give this lady a ride? He pulled the car over about 100 feet in front of her. He watched in the rear view as she ran to the passenger side.

  "Hi, thank you!" You smiled in the window. "I couldn't begin to tell you how many people flew right passed me." You opened the door and got in.

  "Where you headed?" Billy looked over at you.

  "As far west as you can take me." You put your bag and guitar case in the backseat. "I'm Y/N by the way."

  "Billy." He spoke looking in his side mirrors waiting for the chance to merge back on to the highway.

"Where are you off to?" You asked turning slightly to face him.

  "You're in luck, I'm going to Los Angeles." He smirked not taking his eyes off the road.

  __________________Work Conquers All________________

  You and Billy made small talk the rest of the way through Missouri. You were extremely thankful that he stopped to pick you up. You told him all about your big California plans and how you had been playing guitar on street corners getting extra money. He told you about his time in Hawkins and how he was ready to get out of there.

  "I know the feeling." You chimed in. "My family life was garbage." You divulged that you were from Pittsburgh. Not born there by any means, just unlucky enough to end up there. Graduated high school, bought a guitar of your own, and left.

  "So you just play when you run out of money and hope someone is nice enough to pay you for the entertainment?" Billy laughed at the idea. You were intriguing to say the least, a little reckless, but he was drawn to it. He was glad to have risked his life to a psychopathic pretty face on the side of a Missouri highway.

  "It keeps me fed and going." You answered. "The real nice people are the ones who take me home with them for the night. You do what you have to when you need to get a shower." You tried not to laugh at the face he made. You obviously didn't sell yourself out for a shower or a warm bed to sleep in. Even for a girl on the run, you had some standards.

  "You must play pretty well." 

  "I wouldn't give  myself too much credit." You shrugged. "I practiced a lot when I was younger. I know a handful of songs. Once I go through the twice or so in one spot I move on. Makes it all seem brand new each time."

  When it was time to stop in Oklahoma, you helped Billy pay for gas and food. He told you multiple times that it wasn't necessary but you insisted. "I'm not a freeloader." You stated handing the waitress some money. "I worked hard for this and I am not going to start taking advantage of someone now."

  Billy watched you in admiration as you sipped your iced tea. You seemed to have everything figured out. You were so much more than he was.  You had a magic about you. Something so wild and free. He craved it.

  "Do we have a few minutes before we get back on the road?" You questioned setting down your empty iced tea glass. Billy nodded. "Perfect. I was going to try to get a little more money before heading out.

  He watched you get up from the booth, leaving a decent tip. He finished his drink and followed you out the door. You grabbed your guitar from the backseat and strummed it softly. Turning the tuning keys meticulously.

  You set the empty guitar case down in front of you and started strumming. He was impressed, but the guitar playing was instantly out done when you started to sing...

  "Busted flat in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train, when I was feeling near as faded as my jeans..." You sang your heart out to Janis Joplin. Catching the attention of restaurant patrons and gas station customers. They came up and watched you, some singing along, a few dancing. About a dozen people dropped money in your case. Each one you gave a nod and a smile in thanks, never breaking rhythm or words.

  Once you finished singing the ones that stayed long enough for you to complete your song clapped and cheered. Some gave a few extra bucks. You thanked them graciously while scooping out your collected profit and placed your guitar back in, giving it a loving little pat, like congratulating a good friend on a job well done.

  "You're better than I though Y/N." Billy gave you praise from his position leaning up against the side of his car.

  You put your guitar in the backseat and smiled shyly. "Thank you." You stood there counting your money, "Ten bucks, not bad." Billy was impressed. That was easily another tank of gas, not that he was going to ask you for help paying for it.

  You climbed back into the passenger seat. "Onward and upward!" You called out as he got in, patting the side of the camaro through the rolled down window. Your hair blew around your face as Billy pressed the pedal down.

  You were quiet for awhile the sound of the radio softly playing through the speakers. Billy tried hard to concentrate on the road. By now the sun was in front of you, and it reflected off your eyes. Billy looked over at you, the way the sun splayed across your skin, your hair blowing wildly, it was entrancing. His looks didn't go unnoticed by you. You were just lucky he hadn't caught the side glances you took at him. He was gorgeous. Blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, golden skin. He was something to behold. You could see yourself growing fond of him.

      ___________Deep in the Heart of Texas_________

  "I never thought I'd actually make it to Texas." You had been driving with Billy for the passed 12 hours.

  "I plan on stopping for the night outside of Amarillo." He was looking over the map while you danced around the gas station parking lot stretching out your legs.

  "Do you plan on sleeping in the car or do you want to split a motel room?" You asked.

  "Honestly, I was thinking the car, but if you'd be more comfortable in a room, we could probably swing it."

  "I'm fine with the car." You took your worn out wallet from your pocket. The amount of money in it was actually a surprise to Billy. From the looks of it, you could make it to California easily without having to bust out your guitar and perform for it. And paid for the gas.

  "Then car it is."

  It was another 2 hour drive to Amarillo. Billy pulled the car over on the side of dirt road a few miles off the interstate. "Is this okay?"

  "This is fine." You yawned. "I'm sure you're exhausted." You turned in your seat to face him. He was looking over at you, the moonlight shining on his face. His eyes looked tired.

  "Just a little bit." He mimicked your yawn and took the map from beside you.  “Have you ever seen the Pacific Ocean?”

   “No, but I’ve always wanted to.” You were starting to get cozy and comfortable. You looked out the window up at the night sky. The amount of stars that peppered the blackness was incredible. You were lost in them.

  "You want to go with me?" Billy whispered, silently praying you'd say yes. Over the past few hours he had grown quite fond of your company. Like a friend he had known for years. You had a day and a half left of the trip before you would both arrive in Los Angeles and most likely go your separate ways.

  "I'd like that." You turned to look over your shoulder at him. He had to catch his breath at the beauty of you.

  There was a small flash of light streaking across the sky. "A shooting star!" You exclaimed. "Make a wish."

    You closed your eyes. You wished silently that this road trip wouldn't end.

     Billy wished you'd turn around and kiss him.

        _______Crescit Eundo_________

  New Mexico was as hot and dry. Even having the windows down didn't damper the heat. With each passing mile you and Billy had been getting closer and closer. Your side glances growing longer and more frequent. Your perfect record from the day before of not getting caught by him was blown today. But, to be perfectly fair, you had caught him just as often.

  This time when your eyes met, you felt a growing urge to call him out on it instead of blushing and looking away. "Damn, Billy, why don't you just pull the car over and kiss me already." You laughed. The strange confidence of it chilled you to the bone and the laugh felt foreign in your throat as embarrassment burned behind it.

  "Careful what you wish for doll face." He responded just as effortlessly. The same embarrassment burning at the the edges. What did he just say? Instant regret and fear of things becoming horribly awkward slammed into him like a freight train.

  You felt your stomach drop to your knees. A warm sensation growing in its place. This was getting interesting and awkward and... wonderful.

  "I'm sorry." He stammered. "That was awkward."

  "My fault." You blurted out. The warm feeling growing cold again. "I was just joking around and..."

  Billy took your hand and squeezed it. "Don't worry about it." His hand felt warm, welcoming, loving. Like a puzzle piece that was the perfect match to your own. You squeezed his hand back, but didn't let it go.

  Your hands stayed clasped for what seemed like eternity. Until Billy pulled over at a gas station. You let go of his hand went inside. Should you bring up the hand holding? What if he brings it up? Is it going to be awkward? Thinking about this is making it awkward. You had a million things going through your mind. You paid for the few snacks and drinks and made your way sheepishly back to the car. This feeling has got to go away. You settled on bring it up when Billy got back in the car. Worst case scenario you would get out of the car with your things and get back to hitchhiking.

  Billy entered the car quietly. A puzzled look on his face like he was having his own issues processing what was going on. You sighed softly.

  "Hey, I'm sorry for making it awkward.. if you want I can I just grab my things and go.." You started to tell him your plan and apology but you were stopped.

  "Don't be sorry for anything. I don't want you to go anywhere. In fact, that is the absolute last thing I want..."

  With those words you did what you had wanted to last night. You leaned over and pressed your lips against his, relishing in the fact that he deepened it so quickly. He pushed himself against you. You were suddenly thankful for bench seats. You were backed completely against the door, your hands tangling up in his hair. A soft moan escaping from his hungry mouth.

  The sound of a car horn jolted you apart. You both turned to look out the back window, greeted with a car waiting to pull into your spot for gas. You sighed heavy then laughed. Slightly embarrassed by being caught in the moment like that. Billy moved away from you, back to his spot behind the wheel, he gave a small apologetic wave in the mirror and drove off.   You could still feel the sensation of his lips against yours. That warm feeling in the pit of your stomach growing stronger.

                             _____Desert Oasis______

  You both decided that Flagstaff was the best place to stop for the night. But first, you suggested a motel room. Much to Billy's surprise and approval. You insisted it was strictly to shower and no matter how nice the camaro was, it wasn't better than a comfortable bed.

  The interior of the motel room was ordinary but the beds were nice. Cozy blankets and fluffy pillows. You set your bag down on one of the beds and started emptying some of the contents. "I'm going to take a shower." You announced. "Unless you wanted to go first."

  "No, go right ahead. I'll get one after you." Billy laid down on the other bed, stretching himself out. His shirt sliding up a bit to show off a muscular stomach. Your breath hitched causing Billy to look up at you.  "See something you like darlin?" He winked.

  "Maybe." You responded, turning slowly towards the bathroom door. The tension in the air was palpable. It was all you could do to not climb onto that bed with him and kiss him again. But a shower was necessary. The feeling of his gaze burning into your back was enough to know the feeling was mutual.

  You turned the shower on. This was your moment. If you really wanted to see if it was mutual or not. You entered the bathroom, only shutting the door part way. Just enough to give Mr. Hargrove a sliver of a peek in. You pulled your tank top off slowly revealing your lilac colored bra. The feeling of eyes on you didn't come right away. You tousled your hair and let it fall in soft waves over your back. Trying to get his attention. You felt bad... you felt powerful and desirable...  you felt like some goddess in a movie.

   The movement must have gotten his attention. Your skin felt delicious in his hidden gaze. You bent over and slipped the skirt over your hips and down your legs. This was his first real glimpse of them. Long and sun kissed, toned in the calves from all your walking, but full and ample by the tops of your thighs. He couldn't look away. He felt dirty, but he knew the game you were playing. He was drawn in, taking in every inch he could see. The soft curve of your waist, covered in navy blue panties. He could feel his pants grow tight. You were incredible.  He palmed himself, trying to make everything more comfortable.

  You could see him in the mirror, a devilish smirk graced your lips. You unhooked your bra, letting the straps fall down your shoulders. Your fingers delicately pushing them off your arms, you held it to your side and dropped it to the floor. A small muffled moan coming from the room outside. You bit your lip. You watched in the mirror as his hand slipped into his pants. You were grateful he couldn't see you in the mirror watching him.

  You took a moment to regain composure, this was all working out so well, and you could tell the attraction and want was mutual. You watched his eyes flutter closed he wrapped his hand around his length.

  "You know I can see you right?" You spoke softly. Billy's eyes shot open, his hand quickly coming out of his pants. "I was going to say that I don't know how big the hot water tank is in this place.... maybe we should just..."

  Billy could sense where you were going with that. He got off the bed in a hurry throwing open the bathroom door. You yelped in surprise at how quick he got over to you, his arms wrapping around your waist pulling you into him. His lips slamming into yours, letting his tongue trace over them begging for entrance to which you obliged.

  He kept on hand on your waist while the other snaked up your side, sending goosebumps rippling like an earthquake. You moaned into his mouth when he palmed your breast, you arched into him, starving for his touch. You could feel him smirk against you. You tugged at the bottom of his shirt antsy for it to come off. In one solid motion, breaking the kiss for a mere second, it was off and on the floor with yours.

  You pulled his jeans down, thankful for the fact that he already had them unbuttoned. He kicked them to the side and lifted you up to sit on the sink vanity. You felt him pressed against your thigh, rigid and long. The friction of your thigh causing him to tip his head back in lust. You latched your lips onto his neck, leaving heated kisses and marks. Your hands tangled up in his hair.  You could feel the warmth pooling between your thighs. His hands slinking down to pull your panties off.

  You pushed yourself off the vanity to make it easier for your panties to come off. You stood there in front of Billy, letting him take you all in. You felt shy and vulnerable, but well invested in what was going on. You slipped your fingers into the band of his boxers gently brushing your finger tips over his length. He groaned at the loss of your touch when you pulled his boxers down his legs. You walked past him, leaving him dumbfounded. Until he realized that you were climbing into the shower.

  Billy didn't know if the mirror was fogged up from the two of you or the shower until he go into it. You were already under the flowing water lathering yourself in soap. He watched it run down the front of you, never feeling jealous of water in his entire life until now. Your eyes were closed but you could feel his presence. A smile playing on your lips.

  Billy bent down and took your left nipple in his mouth, flicking his tongue over the hardening wrinkled flesh. You whimpered in ecstasy. His hand sliding up the inside of your thighs. You shivered at the touch. Your knees shaking when you opened your legs up to him. His thumb brushed against against your clit in an agonizingly slow circle. His mouth moving from your nipple to your neck, biting softly. You moaned his name while taking his hard cock in your hand. Pumping it gently.

  "You're such a tease." You whispered as his thumb began another slow circle.

  "Me?" He was almost insulted. "What about you, Miss. Striptease."

  You laughed softly tilting your head back and letting the warm water run down you. The sudden loss of contact from Billy's hand causing you to open your eyes.

  "You're also hogging all the water." He slipped his hands around your waist grabbing your ass firmly in his hands. He spun you around, switching spots with him. "Besides, with my help, you're all clean now.. and I'm not."

  He closed his eyes as the water washed down him, you took a second to lather your hands up with soap before rubbing him down while kissing his lips. Covered head to toe in soap bubbles he leaned back into the water again letting it all wash away. Taking in the sight of him had you weak. You got down on your knees silently, making sure his eyes were still closed. You licked the tip of his cock, softly and meticulously. He melted into you. You took him entirely in your mouth causing him to grab your hair, moaning your name. You continued like this for a few moments until the water was running cool.

  "As much as I don't want you to stop doing that," Billy's voice was shaking. "We should probably get out of here before we freeze to death." You let his dick fall out of your mouth with a pop and stood up. Not sure how you were even able to stand with the passion building up in you.

  You got off and towel dried quickly before making your way into the sleeping area. You made your way over to your bed grabbing the clothing you intentionally left on the comforter.

  "What do you think you're doing?" Billy asked watching you.

   "Getting dressed?"  You were a tease, and you could tell he was eating it all up. That was the point. You weren't going to be putting those clothes on, not for a good while at least.

  "I don't think so.." Billy moved closer to you grabbing your arm and pulling you into him. He fell right into that trap, and you both knew it. He put both hands on your waist and pushed you down onto his bed. You instinctively pushed yourself up to the pillows and laid down for him.  He looked you over like he was looking over a prize he has won. His hand stroking his hard cock, taking all of you in again. Billy had seen many girls like this, but you were something else.

  "See something you like darlin?" You mocked stretching yourself out. Arching your back, he watched as your breasts rose up and he could almost sense how good you were going to feel when he was inside of you.

  "Yeah, as a matter of fact I do."  With that he climbed onto the bed, placing himself between your legs. His mouth on your breasts again taking turns with them, rotating between his fingers and tongue. You were practically begging for some sort of friction. He kissed down your chest and over your stomach. Nipping and sucking the sensitive flesh. You were mewing in response, putty in his rough hands.

  He slipped one hand down into your folds. You moaned loudly, excited to have something. "Is this what you wanted?" You simply nodded, you couldn't form the words.  He inserted two fingers into you, pumping in and out of you painfully slow. "You're so wet for me... and tight." You murmured a half coherent response causing him to laugh softly. "Is it feeling that good baby?"  "I want you..." Was all you could muster.

  "That's all you had to say babe." You moaned as he slid his cock over your clit, getting himself wet, he gently pushed the head into your entrance causing you to whimper in need. You pushed your hips down at the same time he thrust his, causing him to enter you fully.

  "Fuck..." He craned his neck back in ecstasy. "You feel fucking amazing." You rocked your hips against his, rolling them up and down, hitting every sensitive spot you had. You weren't going to last long if you kept this up, but fuck did it feel perfect.

  "If we don't slow down I'm going to cum." Billy muttered, the groans building up in his throat. He could feel the heat in the pit of his stomach just as you could in yours.

  "Isn't that the point." You joked. He smirked and slid his hand up to your throat. He choked you slightly, you bucked your hips up in return. The sensation pulling that heat further and further to your core.

  "You're a tease and a smart mouth huh?" Billy thrust harder into you. Pounding against your weak spot.

  "Fuck Billy.. I'm going to cum."

  "Isn't that the point." He squeezed your neck a little tighter, pushing you over the edge. As you tightened around him, he couldn't hold back anymore, releasing himself into you.

  After the act you both cleaned yourselves up. You slipped on your sleep clothes and brushed your teeth. When you walked over to your bed Billy cleared his throat. "Um, where are you going?"

  "I was going to go lay down...." You pointed a thumb over your shoulder towards your bed.

  "Okay, but you're going the wrong way." He moved over, giving you room in his bed. "You really thought after all of that I'd want to let you sleep in your own bed?"

  You snuggled closer to him, a yawn escaping your mouth. "I didn't want to impose." You laughed.

  "Oh, you didn't?" He laughed with you pulling you against him. "Well, I'm certainly glad that you did want to impose a little bit ago." He kissed your forehead.             ________California Dreaming______  The closer you got to Los Angeles the more you were dreading it. You had waited your whole life to finally get out here, and you were utterly disappointed in being at the end of your journey.

  "So what are your plans for when you get in to LA?" You asked him. Your feet were partially out the window as you were leaning against him.

  "I don't know yet. I got a good amount of money with me, maybe get a hotel room, find a job. Just hope for the best. What about you?"

  "Pretty much the same." You picked at the left over nail polish on your fingers. "Probably play in the streets for a few days. See where it takes me. Earn some money for a consistent place to sleep and food on my plate." You didn't want to push, but you certainly didn't want to have Billy just dump you on the side of the road.

  "You know..." Billy started. "I like having you around." You felt a smile pull at your lips. "If you want... maybe you could stay with me. We could split costs and see where life takes us..."

#Billy Hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things #stranger things 3 #stranger things 2 #stranger things fiction #Billy Hargrove smut

[mbrainspaz]

you’re not a real

as a third culture kid* the worst thing someone could say to me was always, “you’re not a real __(insert cultural identity here)____,” (**) but that never stopped it from happening. There will always be ignorant or mean-spirited people out there. I don’t really care what they think. This is something I know every person with mixed cultural heritage deals with. I’d just like to point out that it’s the worst feeling even though I don’t let it invalidate my personal experiences anymore. So uh... maybe save us all the trouble and don’t? 

I grew up in America and Germany and travelled a lot besides. I’ve been told that I’m not a real German. I’ve been told that I’m not a real American (multiply by each state I’ve lived in). One of the worst conversations I ever had was with a friend in college who decided to tell me that I wasn’t a real Texan because I’d only lived there for five years and she’d lived there her whole life. 

“What makes you a real Texan then?” I asked. 

“It’s the experience,” she said, “You’d know if you really were a Texan.” 

“So it’s catching toads in the rain? Surviving a tornado in a crown vic on the side of the road? Picking burs out of your clothes after hunting for hornytoads? Getting bit by fire ants? Going to rodeos? Helping your parents tend the garden in the back acre of the yard? Learning to ride a bike in a grove of mesquite trees? Collecting roly-polies and setting them loose in the house (yes I was a menace)? Letting a tarantula walk up your arm? Are those experiences ‘Texan’ enough to qualify me for Texanhood?”

She declined to answer. We’re still friends. Ironically this conversation happened while we were both living in Oklahoma. 

There’s an old tumblr post I wrote in the dark ages--I’m talking superwholock times--still going around. It was one of my first personal text posts so when I read it now I cringe pretty hard, but the gist of it is that I wanted to be able to wear a German dirndl dress in America without getting mocked or harassed. (We’re still not there in case you were wondering.) For some reason most of the comments I ever got seemed to be from German kids who absolutely loathed dirndls and also Bavaria (the southern part of Germany I’m from), and decided to take it out on me. I do get it. It’s universal to hate southern hicks just like it’s universal to hate northern snobs, and nobody wants to wear the dress their grandma bought them-- but I wish they’d had their teenage angst fests somewhere other than my post about encouraging people to be more open-minded about another culture. It dredged up a lot of my old teenage angst about not belonging anywhere. 

Not that I have a lot of time for that anymore. I don’t spend much time thinking about any of this because in my mind it’s resolved. Just like I grew up in a Texan desert I also grew up in a small Bavarian town where people un-ironically wore dirndln and lederhosen to festivals. That is my culture. I love Germany and Bavaria. I love Italy, Spain, and Austria. I love Japan, Hong Kong, and Australia. I love America and Texas and Virginia and Pennsylvania and California and Iowa and Colorado and New Mexico and Arizona and Oklahoma and... okay Maryland and I have issues but it’s not the worst place on earth. I don’t need anyone from any of those places to ‘validate’ me. At this point I can go anywhere on earth and feel at home. I don’t need a cultural identity or a special dress to make me feel like I belong. I am a real me and people are the same everywhere. 

Right now I'm in Texas so for now I’m a Texan again, even if the farrier at the ranch swears up and down I sound like a Pennsylvanian. 

(*third culture kid (TCK): the child of parents from a different culture than the one they raised their kids in) (** as a German tck the actual worst thing anyone can say to me is “so you’re a nazi,” but that hasn’t happened in a couple of years) 

#random thought #soap box #dirndl #culture #world culture #just wanted to write something that wasn't about the virus honestly #nationality #I should be writing right now #tck #third culture kids #no teenage angst on my posts please lol #i have had enough for several lifetimes #being human #personal identity #long text post #journal type post #personal problems #adulting #cultural identity #bavaria #texas #what's up i live in texas now #things that happened

[bellakitse]

Driving alone, following your form

Day 2 Fic prompt : Distance @michaelguerinweek

Michael leaves Roswell two weeks after they bring Max back to life. That's how long he manages to give his siblings before the sinking feeling that has surrounded him for the last seven months takes over him again.

He’s been drowning since Caulfield prison, Rosa coming back like a living ghost of all their sins, Max dead on a cave floor, and Alex.

Always Alex.

Alex who left time and time again but refused to leave at the prison, willing to die for him. Alex who gave him one absolutely crushed look when he found him at the Wild Pony with Maria and then shifted to his military persona in a blink of an eye, doing everything in his power to give him and Isobel back their brother.

It's ridiculous that with everything they all been through the last seven months, what has him the most in knots is Alex Manes, but when has that ever not been the case.

Aliens, secrets about a dead girl, murderous brother-in-law’s and in the end the first and last thought of every day for Michael still comes down to Alex. His anger, his resentment, his pain but most of all his all-encompassing love for the man.

He and Maria last exactly one kiss and one song, the look on Alex's face when he found them together still haunts the little sleep he manages to get.

So, he goes, quietly in the darkness of night. He leaves his siblings a note, telling them that he needs to go for a while, clear his head because he feels like a powder keg about to explode and if he does, he doesn't want them caught in the fallout. He asks they don't call him.

Isobel texts him hours after he's out of Roswell.

'You're an asshole, we love you, be safe.'

He lets out a noise when he reads it; half laugh, half sob, grateful for the understanding he doesn’t deserve. He’s put Isobel through the wringer during the months that Max slept in his pod. He should have been a better brother, and he promises himself as soon as he has his head on straight again, he’ll do exactly that.

On a whim he also leaves a note for Alex, telling him pretty much the same. He’s a mess and that he needs to go for a while. That he’s always loved him and that he’s sorry. He hopes that it’s enough but isn’t sure.

During the months they all worked on bringing Max back, Alex was there every step of the way, supporting Liz, being there for Isobel, being their access point to what the military knew. He risked his life and his career more than once to get them the information they needed. He worked side by side with Michael and never once brought ‘them’ up in conversation. A part of Michael was thankful for the reprieve, knowing that he wasn’t in the headspace to deal with everything Alex means to him. However, every time they didn’t talk about the elephant in the room the distance between them seemed to expand and Michael wonders; fears that there’s maybe too much damage, too much hurt on both sides. That maybe too much of everything has chipped away at their love.

He prays to a God he doesn’t believe in, that that’s not the case. He hopes as the miles between him and Roswell grow; that leaving will serve as a balm to the open wounds they both carry.

He has no plan, no map, no destination in mind for the first week, he drives his truck down main highways, taking exits and then back roads on a whim. He starts north, crossing Colorado without even stopping until he arrives at Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Stopping here and there in the picturesque town, grabbing some food and information before getting back in his truck and driving towards Grand Teton National Park. It’s the afternoon, later than when people usually get to the park but there are still families and groups around probably ready to call it a day if they aren’t sleeping onsite. Some make eye contact and even nod in his direction, but no one bothers him as he takes his camping equipment and starts to make his way up the trail to Lake Jenny where he’s decided to spend the night.

That night he sits outside his tent looking up at a starry sky that reflects on the still waters of the lake, and his only thought is how much Alex would love to see it. He takes a picture that comes out better than expected and he begrudgingly thanks Isobel for nagging him into updating his phone. He texts the photo to Alex before he can start to doubt himself, his heart beating fast when he sees ‘read’ on the message, he waits to see if Alex will text anything back. The seconds turn to minutes, and he shakes his head, calling himself an idiot. What exactly does he expect Alex to say to a damn picture?

He sits there wishing he had something to drink, Whiskey, a beer, definitely some acetone, but he’s made a commitment to himself to slow the fuck down, and he’s going to keep it. When his phone buzzes in his loose hold it startles him so much, he almost drops it.

It says: ‘That’s beautiful.’

It’s not much, but it still feels like an olive branch, and it helps loosen some of the tightness in his chest. He holds his breath as he sees little bubbles appear on the text indicating that Alex is writing. It stops and starts a couple of times, and Michael feels a stab of sympathy for Alex being at a loss for words. Finally, a text comes through.

‘Are you okay?’

Michael lets out a small, humorless laugh because the obvious answer to that is no. He’s not okay. He’s an alien, his brother died and came back to life, he watched his mother die in front of him, he loves a man more than anything in his life, and he can’t manage to get it right with him, and he’s currently running away from all of that like a child running away from home.

He starts to write without pause, lets every random, not so great thought that has circled his head pour out of him. That he’s never felt at home here and resents Isobel and Max for feeling differently, how he loves Max and is so grateful for having him back but resents him for playing god in the first place, for healing his hand without permission.

There are more little bubbles after he presses send on his small meltdown.

‘Feel better?’

Michael snorts, the question feels a little sarcastic and knowing Alex it probably was, surprisingly it does make him feel better, and he answers as much.

‘Good, I’m glad.’

Michael's thumbs hover over the keyboard, hesitating on whether he should ask or not, writing back he promises himself that if the answer is no, he won’t take it personally, he’s not the only one trying to heal here.

‘Can I keep texting you?’

He doesn’t have time to work himself up; Alex’s answer comes back fast.

‘I’ll be here.’

Michael can’t help the small smile it brings to his lips. That night he sleeps better than he has in months.

He hits the road again a day later, flipping a coin to see if he should keep heading north or turn east. Tails have it, and he heads into Nebraska and sees a lot of corn, a lot. When he tells Alex this on their now nightly communication, he gets pure sass in return.

'It’s the Cornhusker State, Guerin, what did you expect?'

The answer is so Alex that it makes his ridiculous heart do a funny jump. He treats Alex to a picture of the cornfields at sunset and Alex answers back with: 'I wish I could be there.'

Any chance of his heart settling down after that is hopeless; it beats hard against his chest as he answers back.  

'Me too.'

Alex doesn't say anything after that, and Michael doesn't either; at peace with the exchange. Where before he would have seen the silence as Alex retreating, he's starting to understand that the last few months hasn’t been Alex distancing himself from Michael because he doesn't love him anymore. He's been trying to give Michael space to find his footing again after having the rug pulled from under his feet again and again. The damage that before seemed unfixable between them is slowly starting to mend with every text they share. He doesn't know if it's because they aren't facing each other and therefore don't have sex to fall back on or because quietly they both know what's really at stake for the first time, but they're talking in a way they never have before.

Alex hadn't been exaggerating when he said they loved each other without ever really talking and now that they are, Michael wants to know more. So, he asks questions without fear, in between driving, in-between states as he heads into Kansas and Missouri, crosses through Oklahoma to get to Texas. He texts and sends pictures; Alex answers and sends of few pictures of his own. The one of Isobel looking through dresses, her back to the camera has him raising an eyebrow. When he asks about that, he gets back:

'We've become close.'

It makes him smile, he likes the idea that Isobel and Alex have become friends, and he remembers the Max-less months how more than once Alex could be found next to Isobel, protective in his stance. Still knowing his sister and knowing Alex an alliance between them does send a shiver of nervousness down his spine.

‘Should I be scared?’

He gets back ‘Terrified’ and it makes him laugh, it’s followed with a selfie of Isobel and Alex, straight-faced, the hint of a smirk on both their faces and it squeezes his heart to see the two people he loves the most together.

He makes his way through Texas and stops in Hays County to get to the Dripping Springs; he sends a quick picture of the place to Alex, and he doesn’t have to wait long for a response.

‘That’s 500 miles from Roswell.’

Michael swallows hard because yes, he knows that. If he leaves now, he could be back in Roswell in about eight hours, take the US-87 N and US-380 W, and he’d be back home. But he’s not ready, he’s close, he’s better, but he’s not there yet. He tells Alex and holds his breath when he sees that Alex is texting back.

‘Okay, no rush. I’ll be here when you’re ready.’

He has to sit down at that answer and just breathe and keep on breathing. There has been a part of him, a part that has gotten smaller and quieter, but still there that has been whispering in his ear that maybe once he’s ready, Alex won’t be there. After all, isn’t that what he did to Alex when he was ready? He ran away and towards someone else, he realizes now out of fear. He’d gotten so used to Alex walking away, that he didn’t know what to do when Alex was standing in front of him, telling him that he wasn’t leaving anymore, that Michael is where he wanted to be. He ran.

He does cross into New Mexico but doesn’t stop until he hits Arizona. There he goes to The Grand Canyon, and it’s breathtaking at sunrise.

‘If I ask, will you come here with me someday?’

‘I’ll go with you wherever and whenever you ask, Michael.’

Michael sits on a massive boulder, his feet dangling, the morning sun hitting his face with a stunning view in front of him but all he can do is stare at Alex’s message and the significance of his name.

When he texts back, there is no more fear.

‘I haven’t looked away.’

‘Neither have I and I never will.’

If he cries for a while; the last remnants of his pain finally releasing him. If he cries because he’s finally within reach of what he has so desperately wanted since he was seventeen, no one’s around to watch. From there he knows what he wants, what he’s always wanted. He shoots Alex a text with coordinates and the time it will take him to get there as he enters California, he doesn’t get an answer back, but he doesn’t worry as he drives through Death Valley up to Yosemite, getting there as it starts to get dark.

He pulls into the campgrounds where there are other cars gathered, but he only notices one, or better yet, the man leaning against the car. Parking across Alex’s rental, he takes him in as the headlights of his truck illuminate him like a halo of light around him.

Alex has always been beautiful, he was beautiful back in high school with his emo punk clothes, he’s beautiful in his Air Force uniform, and everything in between, he’s beautiful now as he combines the boy he was and the man he is.

But after traveling for weeks on end with only a picture of the man he loves, looking at Alex now, he’s never been more breathtaking.

“You made good time,” he says as he gets out of his truck and walks over to him.

Alex gives him a small serene smile. “You took the long way; I took a plane.”

“I bet my view was better,” Michael teases.

Alex nods. “I have no doubt.”

“I’ll show it to you someday,” Michael blurts out, wincing at the volume of his voice. “Sorry, I’m nervous I guess.”

Alex looks at him, studies him in that Alex way of his, his expression softening. “Can I?” he asks quietly, his arms open. Michael doesn’t answer. Instead, he steps into Alex’s space and holds on as Alex’s arms circle him, his hold strong and comforting.

“I missed you,” Alex whispers into his neck and Michael answers by tightening his arms around him. They stay wrapped in each other for a while before Michael pulls back.

“Come on,” he says, taking Alex’s hand in his, leading him back to his truck to grab his gear. “I called ahead and reserved the spot we’re camping in,” he continues, heading up the trail the girl at the desk told him about.

It doesn’t take them long to get set up. At this point Michael is a pro at putting up his tent, it’ll be close quarters with Alex here, but given that they haven’t stopped holding each other since they laid down on one of his blankets staring at the sky, he doesn’t think either of them is going to complain.

“I’ve stared at the sky for weeks now,” Michael says quietly, not wanting to ruin the peace around them.

“I don’t blame you,” Alex says just as softly. “It’s beautiful.”

“I have been looking at the stars, searching for my home,” he continues, swallowing hard as he feels Alex tense up. He doesn’t stop him when he pulls away to sit up. Alex is quiet for a moment, his gaze upward.

“Did you find it?” he finally asks, looking back at Michael, the light of the night reflecting in his eyes like amber.

Michael nods and places a shaky hand over Alex’s chest. “Right here,” he says, tapping on Alex’s heart. “If I’m allowed in again.”

Alex lets out a watery laugh and a tear rolls down the side of his face, but the smile he gives Michael is wide, and the love that shines through his expression warms Michael more than the Roswell sun.  “That implies that you ever left, Michael,” He answers, and it’s Michael's turn to cry as a sob passes his lips. Alex's hands cradle the back of his neck, and he presses his forehead against Michael’s. “And you have never, not for one second left my heart,” Alex continues, shushing him softly as Michael cries. “It’s yours, Michael, it’s yours.”

The first kiss they share in over nine months is salty from their tears, but as Alex holds him, as he whispers, he loves him, and Michael whispers it back, a sky full of stars above them and a future full of possibilities ahead of them, it’s utterly sweet.

#mgweek19 #guerinweek19 #roswell nm #malex fic #malex #michael x alex #my writing #click on the links to see the places michael visits